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genderkoolaid · 7 months

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have you seen the new feature from lyft, where female/nonbinary users can request female/nonbinary drivers? i was just wondering what your thoughts are?

personally a lot of the people i see upset about it are upset for the wrong reasons, its a lot of "creepy cis men will exploit this" which doesnt address the actual issues

in the replies to one of the posts there was an amab black nonbinary person saying they felt the least safe with white women drivers, who in their experience were most racist towards them, a lot of the replies to their comment were "this isnt about you, this is about protecting women/nonbinaries", "youre a cis man, you dont understand how difficult it is to be a woman" and things along those lines

personally i dont think this is going to make a difference, most actual minority groups will still be just as unsafe, all it seems to have done is create more hostility towards men/masculine presenting/otherwise oppressed people for not liking this new feature

Link for those curious

I mean I get the motivation here (making people feel safer), but for one making this only available to "women and nonbinary people" once again fucks over trans men. Like if a trans man wants to use this feature to feel safer, it seems like he'd have to misgender himself on the app. And if he seems like a cis man to the rider, is he going to be accused of being a predator taking advantage of the program? Would he be accused of that even if they know he's trans because he's a man?

And of course that last point also goes for anyone who might be read as being a cis man or too close to a cis man for the rider's comfort; trans women, nonbinary people assigned male, nonbinary people assigned female on T, intersex people with high T, etc etc. And that also applies to the rider- this could cause issues for trans* and intersex drivers who are viewed as cis men by driver.

Its almost like this kind of gender binary = safety mindset, while understandable, almost always finds a way to fuck over genderqueer people- specifically those seen as masculine, who are easily put into the "predator" category while also being more vulnerable. And as you mentioned it also ignores how race plays a role in this dynamic- Black and Brown riders and drivers alike are going to deal with these issues much more and much harsher than white people. & like I don't think we can separate this from the cultural impetus that white women must be preserved & protected, and that white women should be hyperparanoid of violation from (Black) men. Not that white women don't have legitimate fears of violence but there's a reason there isn't an option to choose the race of the rider you accept, and why their page about it focuses on images of white women drivers. The addition of "nonbinary" to this is just lip service.

#m.#ask box

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doberbutts · 2 months

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(Some other guy entirely here) I do think there's not much of a reason to be so against the terms tma/tme though, and I don't really understand why some people are? Like, in the same way we want a word to describe our experiences so do transfems, and while I do believe that all trans people are affected by transphobia and misogyny, it's obviously also true that we're affected by it differently depending on how we present, cause otherwise we'd all be satisfied with just the term transphobia (not saying anything new here so far)

So, since it just so happened that the term transmisogyny was coined to mean specifically the oppression transfems face (regardless of what anyone might feel on the matter, that is what it means in practice), what's really so wrong with having terminology to specify whether you're affected by it or not in online discussions of specifically transmisogyny? I'd think that would be relevant enough information, and you're not obligated to share it unless you want to.

I think what's really bothering a lot of people is that these terms exist for half of our community but there's no acceptable equivalent for the other half, and there's constant backlash against attempts to fill that void in the language. But that's not the fault of anyone who advocates for the use of tme/tma, or rather, they are separate issues that I don't believe should be conflated even if the proponents of tme/tma are the same people who are against specific terms for transmasc oppression.

When we do this, from the pov of trans women we are the ones rejecting their terminology and trying to silence them when they talk about their discrimination, and since we know exactly how that feels, I think we as a community should take a step back on the matter and just let it be.

Just because we feel dismissed when it comes to a similar matter doesn't mean we should dismiss in turn.

Not that anyone needs my permission or anything for this but:

I don't really have any problem with the words transmisogyny or trans-misogyny, as I think they are valuable labels to discuss a specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny.

I am not sure I necessarily have a problem with the terms TMA or TME themselves, outside of that I think it is not possible to be exempt from oppression because it will apply to you even if the label itself is wrong. This is also how hate crime and discrimination law works in this country- it is both your label and what the offender thinks of you, not just one or the other.

In other words, the guy who screamed at me about how I'm a Mexican is incorrect because I'm not Mexican, but it is still considered to be discrimination against Mexicans because it was his hatred of Mexicans that fueled the attack. It doesn't mean that actual Mexicans aren't the actual targets or this, but it does mean that it's not possible for me to be exempt from anti-Mexican sentiment. It doesn't mean that hatred of Mexicans doesn't exist, it does mean that if I want to stop getting screamed at for saying non-English words while visibly brown (I said pate, which is FRENCH and not Spanish, in reference to a can of dog food he was buying), then I need to ally myself with Mexicans and see what I can do to help decrease this hatred of Mexicans within my country.

What I do have a problem with is how these words are used and applied.

Caster Semenya is a "TME" intersex woman who was caught by transmisogynist Olympic rulings intended to hurt trans women, and to this day is still not recognized as a woman. How is this exempt from transmisogyny? She is literally being affected by transmisogyny- and interphobia, and misogynoir, and lesbophobia. And there are more examples than that, but this will already be a long enough post.

Moreover, I'm finding a lot of hypocrisy in the theory itself, labeling certain instances of oppression as things only TMA people experience and then refusing to listen when TME people say that they experience it too. I don't really care what or how people talk about their own experiences, but I do think it's a little ridiculous to be told that someone else who is not me can tell me what I experience better than I can. And then refuse to listen when I say that I have felt the hurts they're saying don't apply to me.

If TMA/TME had stayed within the limits you've set, being about descriptors of your own personal experience rather than trying to apply theory to entire demographics in a way that very little other theorycrafting does, I wouldn't have cared. Unfortunately that's not how it's being used and I don't like that.

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weebsinstash · 4 months

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the brand new Angel Dust song that just came out has me thinking how absolutely fucked a Reader who is a dancer/musician/singer/producer would be with a yandere Valentino because it really does seem like, coming off of just the general materials and vibes I'm getting, that Valentino also turns his pornstars into sort of miniature celebrities, dare I say, idols even, which would maybe inherently fit the theme of Hazbin Hotel being a musical sort of show at heart. People break out into song, Asmodeus runs a club where music is performed, Angel sings as he strips, Alastor just... as is like just his entire aesthetic and musical number was 🤌, sing about being horny, sing about being addicted, sing about being sad, I dunno there's just an inherent love of music in all of it

I've never really posted about it in detail but I've thought of the ever so elusive MALE READER x Valentino (or transdude/intersex Reader because like, I guess i would, have to, accurately research what having a dick would feel like for smut of that and, I don't know, it's my turn on the gender power fantasy and I say--)

Male Reader who just keeps to himself and waits on Val's table "because you're too stiff, you'll scare off other customers" and one night the Overlord just catches you seemingly alone sweeping floors/cleaning while dancing/singing something, that whole trope where you just don't see him or have your eyes closed and practically do a full musical number until you notice him, just like seating himself in a chair, smoking a cigar, looking at you all smug and horny and thinking of all the different things he could use you (and your holes) for

Absolutely does he exploit weakness and if you don't have a prior addiction, he'll get you one. He'll shotgun something straight into your mouth, mix something into your weed, put a pill in your drink, nudge you towards that alcohol you're trying to stay away from, he'll do it all. He'll get you so fucked up your entire body is buzzing and you're stumbling and you can barely even move and that's when he pounces on you, doing whatever he wants, looking at whatever he wants, touching wherever he wants, and you might not even remember it afterwards and you'll only find out when he shoves his phone full of pictures in your face to mock you

You can't stay closeted/hiding an interest for men around this creep because he'd be secretly feeding you like ecstacy or something that loosens your lips and has you blabbing all your secrets and feelings to him in a horny fucked up haze. The blackmail potential with this dude is IMMENSE. He'd get you fucked up and delirious and film a cell phone shot of you taking his dick and threaten to show it to everyone he wants to unless you do whatever he says (and he's already showing it to people behind your back anyways, but, it's to be gross and coo over how cute and sexy you look taking his loads, stuff like that)

Valentino would take that passion and talent for music that you have and do something gross with it. Oh you're an actor, huh? Good, good, so your reaction will be experienced and authentic when he asks you to bring him a coffee on set and suddenly you're being literally dog-piled on by like 5 ripped hung hellhounds while cameras are rolling :) he thinks he might have an interest in your body, oh, suddenly there's a mandatory employee calendar photoshoot where you he to wear a thong or something skimpy and he can see everything but your genitals (and can tell whatever the situation down there is if you were trying to hide it. Fat ass? Exposed. Secretly a grower/hung? Exposed.)

At the end of the day you're his bottom bitch no matter how big or tough or maybe not even gay you are, because he even has lesbians cuddle up to him for Hot Girl Clout and that shit was on his Instagram. Everything's about him having pretty trophies and nice things and pampering himself while treating others like shit. Yeah, you'll be his little caged pet he obsesses over, but you'll be a very decorated, very well-fed, very financially spoiled little caged pet. If you're gonna get regularly railed by some nasty huge egotistical demon, it might as well come with some sweet perks like a deep bank account and all the luxuries his self-absorbed ass can afford, right?

#yandere x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere stuff #valentino x reader #sinprompts

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twistedmionn · 2 months

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Twisted Wonderland iceberg

Explanations ahead (slight spoiler warning)

Tier 1:

everything is self-explanatory, I think

Tier 2:

Haruhi = the protagonist of Ouran High School Host Club. She's a girl who dresses up as a boy (correct me if I'm wrong) and many players who have a female MC consider theirs to be like Haruhi. [EDIT: Thanks for the anon pointing out that I misspelled the name!]

Tier 3:

self-explanatory

Tier 4:

A fair amount of people headcanon Vil as a trans woman because he presents androgynously/feminine and doesn't care about gender roles. This has also caused discussion in the fandom because breaking gender roles ≠ trans.

Tier 5:

People sometimes wish TWST was more like a dating sim and had character/dorm routes.

Some people headcanon that Silver is based on Prince Philip (from Sleeping Beauty) and/or is a prince himself. I haven't played all of book 7 yet (only the parts out in the ENG server) so idk if the theory has been proven right.

Lilia is old and hints at dying soon.

Hot NPCs, such as Deuce's mom and Sebek's grandpa.

Ace and Deuce have expressed interest in Yuu at various points in the game.

Genshin VAs: Leona/Alhaitham, Silver/Kazuha, Idia/Razor are the ones I can think of

Tier 6:

A beastman (I think it was Jack) has stated that he has problems talking to animals, and Ruggie's talent at it is considered something special.

The tweels are considered intersex by some due to eel anatomy (I'm no eel expert).

Kalim is considered the real villain by some due to never really bothering to help Jamil.

Epel's backstory/attitude has many elements that a fair amount of trans men relate to.

There are theories that Lilia and Sebek are twisted from Peter Pan characters. I'm unsure about Silver, but I think I've read something about him being from another movie, too!

Tier 7:

Some people headcanon that Ace has experienced domestic abuse.

There's a theory that Ace will betray Yuu.

Cater has two sisters who boss him around, which is a resemblance to Cinderella.

Malleus might have two pps because well... dragon.

Epel and Deuce had a whole ass beach date. Deuce constantly cares for him and broke the school rules in order to make Epel feel better. Their scenes together (the settings) looked straight out of a shoujo manga. If Epel were a girl, this ship would be considered canon by most.

I'm not sure EXACTLY which languages Jade's VA speaks, but I do remember that he knows German.

In one of his Halloween vignettes, Ruggie — as opposed to Lilia — has indirectly expressed that he has no interest in romance/relationships.

Tier 8:

UH.

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support-ponies · 14 days

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MOD PAGE (mobile friendly)

🐶🐕MOD KIBA!!! ☕🍩

Heyo!!! I am KIBA! You might know me more as Typhwosion! I am she/her but I don’t really care what pronouns ppl use for me. I made this blog to try and make peoples days a bit easier with cute and happy ponies~ I love doggies and coffee and plushies! My favorite ponies are Applejack and Maud and Trixie and I love RariJack💖 I hope I can make your life a bit brighter with my silly drawings~ My husband is Mod Dynamo! Here’s my carrd to all my other socials and here’s all the art i’ve made on this blog. ૮⍝• ᴥ •⍝ა 💖💛💙

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🐱🐈MOD DYNAMO!!!🧡🍊

I’m Dynamo and I’m here to support the sweetest girl in the world with some Arty McArt™ and stuff. I like cats, video games, and cheese (not necessarily in that order.) My favorite pony is also Maud. If you like my art, get ready to not see much of it here if ya dare. (And here is all the art he’s made on this blog) ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

And here are all the collab art we’ve done together, Dynamo usually does the sketches for these and I ink and color them.

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MOD MORI

Howdy everypony! I’m one of the new mods, you can call me Mori!

I use He/Him and I’m transmasc + bisexual andddd my favorite ponies of the mane 6 are Fluttershy and Pinkie, though my heart truly lies with Luna. You know how it goes. My sona is named Astral Beryl and I’m hoping to become a geologist and/or voice actor, but for now I draw ponies because… Well I really love to! I hope they can help brighten your day!

Also as a note my art style is going to be… Wildly inconsistent and I apologize beforehand if certain pieces aren’t as nice as others. Such is the way of art and wanting to try new things like drawing more consistently.

o/ Stay hydrated party ponies! Hope to see you around!

ART TAG / MAIN BLOG

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MOD PIXEL

Hello everypony! I’m Pixel, also known as @fruitypieq :3

I use he/they/lun/luna and my ponysona, Night Peak, uses she/he/they. My favorite ponies are Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance, and of course Sunset Shimmer too!

I am not sure what else to put here but I’m very excited to be here, its nice to meet all of you! I’m excited to start drawing your requests and I hope I can help make your day even a little better!

If you enjoy my art you can find more of it on my main blog, or on my art blog, @fruitypieq-art! Have a wonderful day everypony!

ART TAG / MAIN BLOG

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MOD WILLOW

Hiya! I’m Mod Willow! I use any pronouns and so does my ponysona, Cece! I’m intersex, intergender, transmascfem and lesbian. I am currently trying to get into school to become a therapist but art is one of my biggest passions! I love helping and inspiring people so I hope my art can do that for you all <3

I love all the ponies but my very favorite is Princess Luna, and my favorite out of the Mane Six is probably Fluttershy. I’ve been in the fandom for about 12 years and I’m very happy to be contributing to it in any way I can!

Have a lovely day and stay mindful!

ART TAG / MAIN BLOG

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MOD APPLEJACK

Hi everypony, I’m mod applejack! I’m a 22 year old mlp superfan who has a special passion for G1 although all gens have a place in my heart. I love to cook, read, and draw for others. My other special interest besides mlp is beekeeping; I’m actually a certified beekeeper myself! I’m so happy to become a part of this amazing blog and support those who need it<3

ART TAG / MAIN BLOG

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MOD FAELING

Hi all! I’m a new mod here! I go by Fae or Faeling, and my pronouns are she/her. I’m a 30 years young autistic artist who has a love for helping bring positivity to others! ✨

I currently haven’t made my ponysona so it’s still in delvelopment but when it’s done I’ll be sure to edit and add it in this post!

My favourite generation is Gen4 and my favourite MLP is Fluttershy! I love how gentle she is and her love for animals, it matches my personality so well!💕

I am happy to be here, I have a love for drawing positive art, as I do the same on my own social media’s art accounts but not just MLP characters, all sorts of different cartoon and anime characters with positive quotes!

I’ve always wanted to help others in some way and doing things like this has always made my heart feel like I’m doing something good in the world, you all deserve encouraging and positive words to get through your days! 💕

If you end up liking my art, you can always find me at @faelingmagic on tumblr or all my other socials at http://linktr.ee/faelingmagic

I look forward to drawing for you all!

ART TAG / MAIN BLOG

#mod page #look at all the cute ponysonas

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dani-sdiary · 23 days

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Anyone Else?

I am 18 years old and I just found out I am intersex.

I started puberty at an earlier age than average. I had severe acne, oily skin, and hirsutism in second grade. I remember my dad telling me to wash my face because I was getting "a type of pimple called a blackhead" (he had to explain to me what it was, I had never heard of them) when he dropped me off at before-school daycare at 7 years old. When I told my mom I had hair under my arms that same year, she flat-out refused to believe me. She simply said I did not, that it was impossible.

I started shaving my legs in third grade, after begging my parents to let me for a year. My mom said I should only have to shave every other day, and again denied the truth when I told her that wasn't enough. Once I started shaving my legs, I noticed the hair everywhere else: my back, my chest, my face, all over.

I googled my symptoms over and over, scouring the internet for a documented experience of any other woman who was like me. I questioned my gender identity over the years. I had wondered if it was possible for me to be intersex, but I had a very limited view of what that could mean, and I assumed if I was, it would be very physically, externally, obvious. At that time, I didn't think it was possible for my doctors, my parents, and everyone else in my life to miss something so important.

For about a year, I identified as non-binary and used they/them pronouns. I think that part of this came from a place of being young and exploring my identity, but it also came from deep insecurity. I didn't feel like being a girl was an option for me because of the way I looked, so I thought it would ease my pain to pretend I wasn't a girl. I want to make it abundantly clear that I am in no way saying questioning one's gender identity is only about being insecure. That was my personal experience, and I am in the minority. I am the exception to the vast majority of experiences.

I bought plain, solid-color, clothes 3 sizes too big and wore pants and long sleeves all summer to swallow me up. I always wore my hair down and I always had bangs to cover as much of my face as possible. I wanted to make it impossible to see my face at all, and, between bangs, glasses, makeup, and a mask, I was fairly close.

By the time I was 12, I had developed a four-hour daily routine for removing all my hair. After a year of seeing my therapist, I finally broke down and told her about my hirsutism via pen and paper and through tears. I was so, so ashamed that I couldn't even say the word "hair" out loud. She immediately told me I might have PCOS, something I had never heard of, and it turns out she was right.

It was only recently, six years after my PCOS diagnosis, that I found out there was any discussion at all about PCOS being considered an intersex condition. I am ashamed to say my first reaction was one of more fear and insecurity. I have been chasing womanhood all my life, and this felt like yet another barrier to it. Even if I didn't identify as intersex after reading about this, it's taught me I have quite a bit of unlearning to work on.

I am in no way qualified to declare PCOS to be an intersex condition, and I am not telling other people with PCOS that they have to be intersex, but I now identify as intersex. I love that PCOS awareness is a trending hastag on tiktok, but there is still so much more research that needs to be done, especially into this particular area. I read peer-reviewed journals from scientists and blog posts about individuals' real experiences and I found a term that feels like home for me, that fell in line with the way I had always felt about myself. I will still use she/her pronouns, because they also feel right for me.

When I experience things like this, I don't know what else to do but write about them. I hope we learn more about this, and I hope I can talk to someone who has also had this experience. Thank you.

#intersex #nonbinary #gender identity #genderqueer #trans #her #she/her #they/them #pronouns #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #lgbt pride #lgbtq #queer community #queer #diagnosis

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benanazauce · 11 months

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PRIDE SHARKS!!

decided to draw these little guys for pride month!! I love sharks and wanted to do something special this month

here are the breeds + flags from the top:

aromantic flag bluntnose sixgill shark (they are also known as cow sharks, which is really cute!!)

asexual flag pacific spiny dogfish (despite the name, they’re not dogs but adorable sharks!!)

intersex flag leopard shark (their spots are so neat, I adore them)

transgender flag nurse shark (nurse sharks are one of my favourite sharks!! second only to the little pacific spiny dogfish)

bisexual flag cookie cutter shark (they always look so silly, but their bite packs a punch!! cookie cutter sharks can take chunks out of prey)

agender flag hammerhead shark (sorry if he looks a bit too similar to the aromatic flag cow shark!! on a side note, there’s sort of a nostalgia factor for me when I see a hammerhead, because they’re my dad’s favourite shark!! mine, at the time, was whale sharks!)

genderfluid flag lollipop catshark (the most adorable name I’ve ever seen given to a shark!! yet another one of my favourites, they’re just so small, like kittens and lollipops. maybe that’s where the name’s from?)

lesbian flag sand tiger shark (despite their intimidating features and sharp teeth, they are indeed passive! the only unprovoked attacks made by sand tiger sharks on humans are by juveniles that still are not grown enough)

gay flag blue fin shark (or just the blue shark!! it’s indeed a blahaj. such a beautiful blue.)

that’s all of them! sorry I couldn’t fit too many sharks onto this one canvas. if I could, I’d scrawl more on the walls!!

might make another canvas filled with pride sharks soon!!

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panicbox · 2 years

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Tomorrow morning my rat is getting bottom surgery.

Earlier this year we got three pet rats for my little cousin. Her mother and father aren’t in her life anymore and so she lives with me. I thought that getting a pet together would be a good thing for her to focus on, so we did our research, saved up and earlier in the year we brought home 3 baby boy rats.

Now she is the best rat parent ever. She spends hours sitting with them every day. She prepares their foods and spot cleans daily. She loves her rats more than anything, but she does have a favourite. She loves Bruno and Potato dearly, but by far Patches is her best friend. He bonded with her almost immediately and she talks about him almost constantly.

Well, Patches got a little cough. We took him to the vet and the got a glowing review. Apart from a respiratory infection (that was handled with antibiotics) the vet said he was a beautiful and well natured little boy.

We gave him the medicine and Patches got better. Better than better, Patches was thriving! He grew bigger faster than both his brothers to the point of maybe being a little too big. And then definitely more than a little too big.

Patches gave birth to 11 healthy babies. Which, being a boy rat was a king behaviour. We separated the babies and Mr. Patches immediately (luckily our cage is big enough that it can be separated easily in the middle) and called the breeder who was, understandably, in shock.

They had been sure that Patches was a male. He had looked male. I’d checked myself and yes he did appear to have testicles. Even the vet with her years of training had thought that he was a male. It said so on his vet profile and everything. The best guess is hormonal swelling, or even that patches may be intersex.

The breeder apologised, agreed to find homes for the babies, and even swap Patches for another more suitable rat, but this couldn’t do. This didn’t matter to my cousin. Mr. Patches is her best friend in the world. She loves him. She said he’s the friendliest rat in the world and is the best dad too. The choice was easy.

So tomorrow our pet rat is getting bottom surgery.

Desexing also has benefits such as reducing the risk of certain cancers, but most importantly it will allow Patches to safely rejoin Bruno and Potato.

The moral of the story is that even seemingly cheap and easy to acquire pets can have very unexpected and expensive challenges, and even if you think you’ve done all your research even experts (like the breeder and vet) can be thrown curve balls sometimes. While it’s impossible to know what problems could arise you should really think about whether or not you might have the time and budget to be able to deal with them if they should come to pass.

Oh and trans rat rights 🏳️‍⚧️ 🐀 ⬇️

#rats #fancy rats #ratblr #small animals #rat

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middle-earth-mythopoeia · 1 year

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Trans characters in Tolkien’s books

The Silmarillion says: “But when they desire to clothe themselves the Valar take upon them forms some as of male and some as of female; for that difference of temper they had even from their beginning, and it is but bodied forth in the choice of each, not made by the choice, even as with us male and female may be shown by the raiment but is not made thereby.”

What does this mean? First of all, the Valar are fundamentally spiritual beings, not physical beings, meaning they do not have to take on a physical form. When they do, they are choosing what form to take, and they can also change it at will. (Except Melkor, who loses that power forever after the Darkening of Valinor.) What Tolkien is saying here is that the Valar choose physical forms for themselves that match their gender identities, and he is also acknowledging a distinction between sex and gender.

And there’s more to it: what Tolkien is suggesting, when he says “as with us male and female may be shown by the raiment but is not made thereby”, is that the raiment (the body) does not determine a person’s gender. In other words, the body may show a person’s maleness or femaleness, but their maleness or femaleness is not determined by the body, but by the spirit.

There’s so much to analyze here, and so much hinges on the word “may”: “male and female may be shown by the raiment but is not made thereby.” There are different things this could mean. What happens when male or female are not shown by the raiment (the body)? That might describe an intersex person: the body is neither wholly male or female, but both at once.

Simultaneously, the “may” in this sentence could also mean that when the raiment shows itself as male or female, that nevertheless is not what makes the person male or female, only their spirit determines that—and this leaves room for cases in which someone’s sex does not match their gender. Let’s rephrase the sentence: someone’s maleness or femaleness may be shown by the body, but it also may not be, and their body is not what determines their gender. There you have it.

In the case of the Ainur, they can change their form at will, so they aren’t going to be in a situation where their physical form is uncomfortable for them. In the case of Men, obviously we can’t shapeshift, and some of us do feel like our bodies don’t match our gender.

What about people who have multiple genders, or no gender? I would point out again that Tolkien says the physical body may show (that is, align with) one’s gender, but one’s gender is not determined by the body. The spirit feels genderless? Congrats, you’re genderless. The spirit feels male and female? Congrats, you’re male and female. The spirit feels male for a while, but then female? Congrats! You are whatever you say you are.

In conclusion, there is definitely room for trans characters in Middle-earth, and it doesn’t contradict canon in the slightest.

I’ll end by saying that, on some level, this kind of analysis isn’t entirely necessary, because Middle-earth is our world, and trans people exist in our world, therefore trans people exist in Middle-earth too. But it can also be comforting to look at your favorite books in depth and really analyze what they say, and in this case, Tolkien is pretty clear that the body’s apparent sex is not what determines gender.

#lotr #silmarillion #tolkien #my writing

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professor-amaryllis · 25 days

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Hello there! My name is Professor Bellamy Amaryllis, though most people who know me call me Amy. My kid @eartheats encouraged me to make an account on here- I guess that's what all the cool kids are doing nowadays, haha!

I’m agender and intersex and use They/He pronouns- She for some specific people as well. I'm Polyam, as well, so no need to go telling my partner about seeing me out and about- I assure you she knows!

If you were a child or have been around children anytime in the last 7 years you might know me as the Wild Guy, from my TV show Professor Amaryllis’s Wild Days! While I've been off the air for a year or so it's bloomed in popularity even still- it's hard to go too far without someone knowing who I am, hah!

I'm a poison specialist (though I have an affinity for fairy types as well) and one of the overseeing professors at the Goldenrod Ecological Society, really just a fancy title for the person who makes sure all the science is ethical, reliable and well documented. It's a lot of admin and outreach work and while it keeps me busy it's quite fulfilling.

This is a personal account, so I’ll be talking more about my life than my job, so sorry if you’re looking for a blog of just pokemon facts, because this certainly is not it.

//This is a soft reset of amy- you may notice that a good 90% of post from 2023 have been deleted! I realized that my early rp was not in line with what i'm doing with amy going forward! most plots, major events, and interactions from that time have been Retconned or Rewritten!! if you have questions feel free to DM me!

Hello!!! My name is Rabbit and I’m an adult, so be warned that there may be suggestive themes at times on this blog! I also will be doing some high stakes stuff!

I don’t interact with sentient pokemon or eebie deebies with very few and select exceptions (if you arent sure, ask!), and I’m picky about players with legendaries as well, as I have a specific cannon I’m working with!! No magic anons, crossover blogs, crack rp, or dream mail, though some peliper mail sent to amy's GES location is acceptable (within reason!! no magic anon but item things ahaha)

Amy’s a flawed character so please keep in mind that not everything he says is the objective truth! He can be biased, emotional, unprofessional and he can and will lie, though he prefers to tell half truths and avoid topics first.

Amy has a very detailed past, and he has his secrets and motives!! there’s usually at least something going on under the surface hehe so I wish you luck in trying to puzzle this man out! This character is my own personal Pepe Sylvia red string board and I enjoy playing him that way :)

I hope we can have fun together, but please please please remember that there is a person behind this blog, be nice!! or at least just not incredibly hateful. some negative asks can be fun but think before you send things please.

#pokemon irl #pokeblogging #pkmn irl #lore

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sldlovescartoons · 30 days

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I’m just going to put this out there because I was going to write a proper fic but it’s look like that’s not going to work out so I just want to ramble about some ideas for a bit. For the purposes of this little post, I’m just sort ignoring anything that has happened in campaign 3 and things attached to the plot line, mostly becayse we don’t know where going to happen in the end yet. All things said here just sort of assume none of that all happens. Just in case.

So, at some point in time, Essek comes to a sort of realization that he’s… being stupid. He can’t effect real change to atone for his wrongs as a transient on the run from the government. It’s just punishing himself, his friends, and his boyfriend, and he doesn’t want to do it anymore. He wants to get Transmogrification cast on him, but he’s worried that he still might be caught, the people who would seek him out have magic to look in his mind if they suspect his new form. They might need to fake his death.

And then Caleb is like: well, we don’t have to fake it at all.

Because Caleb has a copy of Clone. And so a plan is made, they’ll grow a new Essek, make a spare spell book, and a new spell book to match the his new identity they are crafting, and when the year is up, the Nein will turn Essek in for treason. He’ll get executed, and once he wakes in his fresh pod body, they’ll escort him to the spell circle to start his new life.

The comedy potential in the planning stages for his new identity and form is great. Angst too.

After Essek picks his new name, he starts to insist they start to call him by it almost exclusively, and the Nein don’t want to, that seems weird. Essek’s insistence that he’d only had the name Essek for 30 years, he was barely used to it in the first place, it was no big deal and den members change names all the name because for many reasons, it soothes the M9, but also creates more questions. Like what was your Child Name, huh, hot boi? (He refuses to tell them as a point of pride. His child name was so silly!)

He and Caleb work very closely on his new form and there are disagreements:

On the angsty side: Essek puts forward that with some light modifications and a higher level of casting, they could also give the target the lifespan of the chosen race over the original. They could make him a human in his 30’s and they could spend the rest of both of their lives together. He doesn’t care about living a long time, just being with those he loves and atonning for his sins. Caleb refuses vehemently, that’d be paramount to killing Essek with his own hand and he refuses to do it. He makes him swear that he won’t do anything stupid when the Nein are all gone. He almost calls off the whole thing.

On the funny side: We have Essek, who as a member of a noble den had a through sex education that throughly covered gender and tried to prepare the young drow in early schooling that they could be in, or one day be in, a body much different from theirs. They try to ease they into the idea that might someday give birth, or might have already done so in a previous life. Gender and Body Dysmorphia are covered throughly. Gender is kind of bullshit to him. His form is kind of bullshit. He was acquainted with the fact his body might not always be or have been what it is at a very young age. He is largely unconcerned with how his new form will make HIM feel, he’d get used to it easy. He wants to know what Caleb would like.

Caleb, on the other hand, is trying to reduce body and gender dysmorphia as much as possible after his experience getting to know Nott/Veth. He’s trying to figure out how close they can get to the original without getting caught. To make it easier for Essek to adjust.

Caleb has absolutely no idea how to deal with Essek suggesting giving his new form a much larger penis (because he knows Caleb is a little bit of a size queen) or intersex body configurations (because Caleb likes both, right? He could very be both. He had some cousins that seemed very happy that were intersex or nonbinary.). He turns him down, explains why, but that doesn’t stop Essek’s brain train.

So naturally, when Essek asks if Caleb wants biological child and suggests they could just make him a woman if he did, the other man absolutely loses hugs shit and chokes on his tongue in shock. In take a long time to calm him down and the drow’s assurance that it wasn’t a big deal, he had a soul sibling (he actually used a weird drow word, but that’s what it meant) that his father gave birth to when he was woman and his mother was a man, they married into Den Mirimm to strengthen Den relations! Happened all the time! Did not in fact help Caleb much, he had several questions.

Just a lots of Essek taking the whole much less seriously than most of the Nein because of his upbringing.

They end up make him a male elf roughly his age with very tan skin. They make up a whole amnesia story, Fjord and Jester pretend to find him washed up on shore. They wait 4 months him and Caleb to ‘start dating’ and two months after that to move in, claiming a ‘whirlwind romance’. They are married within the year. (Because fuck them breaking up because of lifespan angst, that’s bullshit and I refuse to entertain it lol.) They get to be happy together and make the world better as a pair, a unit, and Essek continues their various cause they’d taken up well after Caleb dies an old man.

#critical role #cr2 #the mighty nein #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #shadowgast #rambling #headcannon #cr headcanons

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blubushie · 1 month

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i'm kinda curious now... what are some of the worst/most ooc takes on the tf2 characters that you've seen 👀👀

I covered this before kinda with my "what does Blu hate about TF2 fanon."

For Sniper. For the rest of the mercs.

To sum it up:

Fandom constantly calling Sniper a Kiwi despite him only being born in Aotearoa and his entire character arc in the comics being "the people who birthed me aren't my real family, the parents who kept and raised me are". The fandom is so fucking weird about immigrants and adoptees. Also people who headcanon him as Aboriginal: I hate you because none of you can even fucking research shit to get it right. If you're Aboriginal and do that you're cool though. Namarnedjare ngudman <3

Twinkified Sniper. He's a sniper and uses a bow, he's going to have strong arms and stronger shoulders, and the comics depict him as lean.

Saying Sniper would smell. None of the fandom understands how important a lack of scent is during hunting, and Sniper is a hunter. Similarly, people headcanoning him as smoking cannabis for this reason. He does shrooms. If he's indulging in some THC that man is eating edibles so the smell doesn't stick to his clothes and skin and hair when he has to hunt.

Sniper being shy. The fandom doesn't understand how dog-eat-dog underground work is. This man would not survive long enough to become a world-renowned assassin if he was shy; also being shy would go completely against his professionalism mantra. He'd do whatever was necessary to get his kill.

Sniper being bothered by the cold. No one in the fandom understands how cold the outback gets during winter. He'd be absolutely fine. Additionally bushmen have to be highly adaptable to survive.

People making Medic evil despite canon pointing to him caring deeply for his team. At most he's chaotic neutral, and his only moment of "manipulation" is when he tricks the literal Devil, which I'm wagering is more than acceptable considering it's literally the Devil. Medic is not your sadistic manipulative monster archetype.

"Demo is abusive/lazy because he's an alcoholic" while ignoring him holding down 3 jobs while being an alcoholic, while ignoring him caring for his mum while being an alcoholic. Just say you hate addicts and go.

Intersex NB Pyro. I've been over it before. As an intersex man, I hate this fucking headcanon so goddamn much.

Infantilising Pyro despite Pyro literally being the CEO of a construction company and bringing in record profits for that quarter. And also being a mercenary PYRO LITERALLY KILLS PEOPLE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM.

People ignoring Medic's likely bisexuality in favour of promoting him as a gay man. I don't mean people saying that Medic was never married to start with and that Demo was talking out his arse, I mean people saying Medic's wife was his beard. The bi erasure is real. People treat bisexuality as a "less pure" variant of gay.

Bigoted Engie.

Communist Heavy (his father was literally murdered by the USSR and his family thrown into a gulag in Siberia because he was a counter-revolutionary).

Evil/arsehole Spy. Also people who take Spy too seriously. This bloke cracks "your mum" jokes and snorts when he laughs. Come on. Spy might take himself seriously but that man is not as serious as he thinks he is.

Bigoted Soldier.

People using the time period as an excuse to be a bigot so they can scream about how bad it is to be a bigot. You're still promoting bigotry. This wouldn't be an issue if racism wasn't a centre/scene in practically every fucking Demo fic. I'm kinda tired of seeing marginalised people be brutalised by a fandom so the fandom can virtue-signal about how bad it is to brutalise marginalised people. Can the characters please have some happiness? Or at least some angst that isn't a constant slew of queerphobia/racism/etc?

#blu whos #tf2 #sniperposting

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weebsinstash · 2 months

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could we get some valentino x male reader pls?

Bruh I've been actually on Valentino x male/intersex male Reader so hard lately (and I don't mention intersex for like fetish reasons but. I don't know what having a dick feels like and sometimes I'm like "well what if boy but. Vagine" and, shut up its my gender expression power fantasy, maybe I wanna have muscles and broad shoulders, leave me alone 💀)

Right off the top of my head, I've had ideas recently for:

-boy band lead vocalist! male Reader! Just. Ok. Imagine Reader and Angel having kind of a beef with each other and at some point it becomes a sort of "oh yeah, well I can XYZ better than you" kind of competition amd Angel says some shit like "you wouldn't know what it takes to come out here and strut for a bunch of perverts who look at you like you're a piece of meat" and you just hit him with some shit like "bitch I LITERALLY sucked FIVE DICKS so I could headline for the Superbowl, you fucking LOSER, you dont know ACTUAL music, i was AN ARTIST" and you start belting out something sexy with a choreographed dance that is clearly professional level skill

-male Reader with a little sister and you protect her from Valentino by offering to take her place. You've never sucked a single dick in your life and hell you might not even be gay but Valentino has your baby sister's life in his hands and, you've got to protect HER if not yourself

- ughhhhhh I'm probably gonna make this it's own post too but I've been ON my "unwilling red string soulmate" personal indulgence lately and. Just. Valentino who sees his red string appear and OBVIOUSLY he's gotta RUN to find his boo and he finds you and immediately thinks you're the most precious adorable sexy little thing, BUT. You just. Look straight at him and how HUGE he is and reply "i-im not... actually into men 😳" which is a LIE of course and, here's Valentino thinking, AW, his poor little baby gay! You've never had a boyfriend or gone to any clubs? TRAGIC! But also perfect because he is just TICKLED watching you get flustered beyond belief! So cute!

-I feel like. He would try and give you boners on purpose and think it's the cutest most erotic thing. He's got you sitting next to him and you're filled with liquor and he starts REALLY laying on the flirting, maybe even... places his palm on your upper thigh and BOOM. Hard as a rock and you can't even hide it because he makes you wear tight pants all the time. He's just over there, "what's going on amorcito? :3c you feeling a little hot under the collar?" as if he didn't just spend like 15 minutes talking about how he'd love to get you on your back and touch EVERY INCH of you, how he'd love to TASTE you--

-this is gender neutral but, convinced he eventually forces you to do some of those sexy pin-ups with him and one day you're walking around Vee Tower and he just has that shit HANGING UP. Poster You is just braced against his chest looking at the camera all demure and vulnerable while he's like. Got his guns out looking all tough like "mess with my pookie and you're through" and of course he makes you do. Sexy ones. Matching lingerie?

-I think of forced feminization with a male Reader sometimes actually. Like you wear boxy unflattering shit on purpose and one day Vals just like "you've got a small waist for a guy" and is checking you over. It starts off small. He starts wanting to style you. Then he wants you to update your skincare routine. Which is all fine right? But then he starts pushing his personal tastes. You've got such nice muscular thighs... which is why you would look so nice in some fishnets. He'd love to see your cute little butt in a thong while you cover your dick with your hands in MAJOR EMBARRASSMENT. You've got such pretty eyes; can Daddy put some mascara on you?

Valentino straight up punishing you by dressing you in full lingerie, your ass is in garters, heels, full glam makeup, and forcing you to pose for some cell phone pics

-still over here just mentally 🤌🤌🤌 at the idea of Valentino taking male Reader out with him and Angel and you've got matching outfits. You and Angel are in little skimpy, color matching fits while he's in a suit and gold chain, something that makes him feel powerful while he shows off his favorite toys

-I rllllly like the idea of like, a male Reader who is a honeypot assassin. You can be extremely charismatic and charming and seductive but it's all a front; you're an S tier actor and you take your targets down when they least expect it. The Vees are all at the club and some upstart wannabe new Overlord decides to attack and you just JOHN WICK THAT SHIT. Picture the Vees just sitting there, everything is peaceful, suddenly, in a flash, you move your serving tray in front of Valentino just in time to block a bullet. All three Vees are like wtf? How did you even know? What's going on? You proceed to totally wreck shit improvising weapons as the attacker and his goons charge forth and you even wind up grabbing a whip from a nearby dancer and using it as a WEAPON WEAPON and that shit looks like it HURTS. You're out here "Michelle Pfeiffer taking out 5 mannequin heads in one take"ing that shit. You're cutting people IN HALF (because having hell powers is cool leave me alone)

-i like the idea of male Reader who was a professional male model and a bit of a tailor himself, like a real kind of posh art student kind of type. You're with Valentino and Velvette notices how impeccably you're dressed and asks you where you bought it, you just, not so humbly brush yourself off. "Oh no, I made this myself. Nothing down here really fit my tastes" and suddenly you're like, custom designing wardrobes for ALL the Vees

Honestly just "Reader in XYZ Profession is exploited by Val/the Vees for their skills" is an idea I've had a lot. You have a hobby in baking so they always want food from you. You used to cook drugs so they make you work for them. You're a polyglot so youre taken along on business meetings to make sure none of the Vees business partners are planning shit in front of them. Like. Imagine just being the bitch who sits in the corner of the meeting room and shoots project/product ideas at them and it's like ACTUALLY successful and they're totally receptive and like you. You're just "Hey Valentino, what if you and Velvette did a collab on a waterproof mascara where you shot a porno in one continuous take so you can show the actor putting on the mascara, setting it down on the vanity, and then they start choking on a dick and their mascara doesn't run" like. They love you. Vox is just like "so, any new ideas today" and you're just using your VoxTek Premium Exclusive Black Card to cut coke into lines, "*snooooooort* uhhhhh.... I got some ideas for some stupid little mobile games you can put tons of micro transactions in? Like just before i died there was this one game that was getting really popular but it had a lot missing, we could-" and they could all just kiss you

-on God, Fs in the chat for virgin male Readers who have Valentino finally pop that cherry. I feel like he'd find out you've never had so much as fingers in your ass and within that WEEK you're being dosed with love potion and taking him balls deep

-Val's the kinda yandere where he tells you you're safe being closeted with him, he'll keep your secret, he'll let you stay on the downlow, but one day he so much as ASSUMES disrespect from you and he's immediately letting everyone know exactly who you belong you. You're arguing with him and you go completely silent and cross your arms or some shit and he just takes a hit from his cigarette, "you know you looked a lot more handsome when you were screaming on my cock the other night" and outs you just like that, either as gay or as fucking him or both. Imagine Angel not knowing you slept with Val and he immediately gives you this hurt expression BECAUSE HE TOTALLY DOESNT HAVE A THING FOR YOU TOO

-Valentino would absolutely make male Reader and Angel fuck while he watches and or films it, and also tbh I feeeeeeeel like. Angel would be ok with trans or intersex men tbh? Idk. It's not clear exactly what his taste in men is? He doesn't mind when men are shorter than him, so, like, is he a switch? He gives huge switch energy and let's face it, that's one TALL twink. I mean look at him holding Charlie! He's strong for his size too! Pole dancing takes a lot of upper body strength!

Oh no... not me suddenly thinking about a scarier yandere angel dust who is a lot stronger than you thought... Yandere Angel Dust who corners you and takes you completely by surprise and you get a GUTTING display of just how strong his arms actually are. You're thinking "oh he's just some lanky bottom twink, he couldnt overpower me, in fact I'm scared i might hurt him, he's delicate" but like HONEY HE CAN SUPPORT HIS ENTIRE BODY WEIGHT BY JUST HIS ARMS OR THIGHS. He's a FIT twink.

-ive said it before but uh once Angel Has It Bad Enough, like Bad Bad Bad, he's over here, "oh Daddy, I'm just soOoOo scared uxu ya know my buddy Reader, that one ya think is cute? Well, he was drinkin' earlier and he mentioned wanting to move FAR away and he wouldn't tell me WHERE 🥺 I'm just so worried he won't be able to take care of himself, you know, what, with all that trauma about his FATHER and-- oh he didn't tell you? He's really vulnerable to BIG. SCARY MEN and im wooooorrrrrriiiied, what if he gets hurt, talk to him Daddy PleeeeEEeEease? 🥺" like. He might still hate Val's fucking guts but he's high on coke and watching Valentino put some real inches in you and he's having the most explosive guilt-filled nut of his entire afterlife

-im sorry I'm just picturing Reader being like "I'm not fucking gay, fuck off, leave me alone" and Velvette just not even looking up from her phone, "I saw you using that $200 hand cream. You're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents"

"I'm not fucking gay" "amorcito I've seen the pants you like to wear. No straight men wears those"

"I told you guys I'm not into men!!" "That's what I thought too until I met Al- VAL! Until I met VAL! [OuO']"

Then one night you're off work and none of the Vees or even Angel know where you're at and they wind up in a club and, there you are, getting absolutely fucking wasted, on top of one of the counters, you know those clubs that have random pokes everywhere, and you're dancing, you're getting real zesty with it, you're dropping your ass, and here's Valentino jumping to his feet pointing a finger, "so you DO know how to pole dance!!!" and your fate is sealed from there on in 💀💀💀

#yandsre hazbin hotel #hh #yandere hellaverse #yandere x reader #sinprompts

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doberbutts · 1 year

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That post of yours also makes me think of how much exclusionist rhetoric is centered around the assumption that, for example, only people who are gay or lesbian are ever impacted by homophobia. That kind of thinking is not only incorrect, but also gives way too much credit to homophobes who do not, it turns out, have a nuanced and informed view of sexuality and gender.

Homophobes don't think in terms of "we are cis and allo and straight, and this other group is made up of people who are gay, pan, bi, ace, aro, trans, nonbinary, intersex, and any other number of labels under the queer umbrella". They think in terms of "we are normal and good, and this other group is different and bad."

I recall that one incident about the parents who kicked their asexual teenage son out of their home because they thought he was gay, and tons of exclusionists were insisting, "No, no, this isn't aphobia, this isn't discriminating against asexual people, this is misdirected homophobia, gay people are still the only ones being oppressed." Like, okay buddy, call it whatever you want, but this asexual teenager is still homeless now.

The sort of people who commit these hate crimes think in such rigidly binary terms. That man is attracted to men? It doesn't matter that he's also attracted to women, he's gay. That man doesn't want to have sex with women? It doesn't matter that he doesn't want to have sex with men either, he's gay. Oh, that man IS dating and having sex exclusively with a woman, but that woman was assigned male at birth? Gay. They're all gay, and we must hate them all for it.

Exclusionists will claim that ace people or bi people or trans people who don't medically transition or who are non-dysphoric aren't queer enough to be in queer spaces, don't face the same level of oppression, and meanwhile homophobes are more than happy to hate crime anyone who doesn't fit their narrow definitions of what is acceptable. The people who are beating up a man for being gay aren't going to stop upon being informed he's actually polysexual. They'll say "close enough" and continue beating him up.

Exactly. But then again many of these people refuse to consider a different perspective than their own.

I have an ace friend who, due to her solid lack of interest in men [or anyone] was assumed to be a lesbian by her boss. Her boss who turned out to be a sexual predator and preyed on three different female coworkers about her age [read: significantly younger than him] and was eventually fired for it. Her boss that, when she revealed she was dating a man at the time, admitted he had considered pursuing her as well but was discouraged by her lack of attraction and if he had known she could be "turned" he would have struck while the iron was hot, so to speak.

Is that not a combination of lesbiphobia, misogyny, acephobia, toxic masculinity? That he wanted this girl young enough to be his grand daughter to the point that he thought he could bully his way into her bed after seeing that she was not interested in being pursued? It doesn't matter that he was wrong about her being a lesbian. It doesn't matter that she could have just as easily been with a woman instead of a man. It doesn't matter that he doesn't have any understanding of the concept of asexuality. Here was a young woman who *could potentially* be swayed by power dynamics and/or alcohol, and thus she was added to his list of potential conquests.

Her identity, her feelings, her emotions, her life doesn't matter. What matters is that he was a predator and she was highlighted as possible prey the second he thought he might be able to convince her to accept his magic Dick Of Turning.

How do I know all this? He was my boss too. And I saw firsthand some of the things he did. Thankfully, as said, he was eventually caught in the act and fired for it, but not before he terrorized multiple female employees.

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spacelazarwolf · 9 months

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Hi I don't know if you do advice posts but I'm really hitting it off with this guy who has sorta run in adjacent social circles but who i didn't really get to know personally until the past month or so. He recently disclosed to me that he's trans and while it isn't a deal breaker by any means the truth is I've never dated nor slept with a trans guy and I'm not sure whether I should mention that to him if we decide to pursue something so that he knows not to expect too much in terms of skill or not to so that he doesn't get the wrong impression and think I'm using him for an experiment. I'm either a gnc cis woman or some flavor of nonbinary but I'm not sure yet and I'm attracted to men

so imo, the best course of action would be to not disclose. i think you'll both feel more comfortable if you just let the relationship progress organically. if he asks and you're comfortable sharing, i think you can definitely tell him and also include that you don't want him to feel like an experiment. that should open the door for some good conversations about boundaries, likes and dislikes, what terminology he prefers, if he has had a form of bottom surgery, etc. basically, just let him take the lead on that. those conversations can start to feel a little clinical, so feel free to make them spicy. it's more fun that way.

this isn't necessarily what you asked about, but my adhd brain is taking me there, so here's my nsfw advice for folks who want to have sex with a trans person for the first time and are nervous about what to do. ymmv, and of course other trans folks are welcome to contribute. this can also apply to a lot of intersex folks as well, but i'm not gonna speak on that part since i'm not intersex, so intersex folks definitely feel welcome to add to this as well.

he's pre or no op and you're not sure what to call his junk and you don't want to just come out and ask? get a sexy conversation going and ask what he wants you to do to him. he'll describe his body with the terminology he prefers, and you can pick it up from there.

not sure if she's comfortable with you going near her genitals? "tell me where you want me to touch you" "where do you want me to put my mouth?" this is another great way to find out what someone calls parts of their body.

nervous about how to interact with his bottom growth? "i want to watch you touch yourself." "show me how you want me to touch you." watch what he does and copy that when you take over.

not sure if they're a top or a bottom or a side? start with what you prefer (or if you have boundaries about what roles you're not comfortable taking on), and let them respond to that. you don't like bottoming? good, she hates topping! you don't really like penetrative sex on either side? great, they can do oral for hours! haven't topped before but you're willing to try? perfect, he's a power bottom! and if you find your preferences aren't compatible, you can either see if there's other things they're willing to try, or go your separate ways amicably. this sometimes happens with queer sex and it's no one's fault!

he's had phallo and you're not sure how it works? treat it like you would any other dick! if there are things you need to or that he wants you do to differently, he'll tell you. same with meta, it's just a dick that's on the smaller end of average. refer back to "show me how you want me to touch you" if you're still nervous about it.

think they might be getting dysphoric? focus on parts of their body you know they like or that give them good gender feelings. run your hands over his biceps and talk about how sexy his muscles are. run your fingers through her hair and talk about how soft it is. if they seem to be spiraling, turn the attention to you to get them out of their head.

have to stop having sex because the dysphoria got too bad? keep it casual. if they want to talk about it, let them. if they want to let it go, find another activity you can do that feels intimate without the sexual contact. when they seem better, tell them "i'm really glad you were able to tell me earlier that you were feeling uncomfortable. it means a lot that you trust me enough to tell me that." if they seem open to it, have a conversation about what you can do if that happens in the future.

not as sexy, but still very important: if you have a uterus and can get pregnant and your partner has a penis that produces sperm, or vice versa, use a reliable form of birth control! it can suck to talk about that stuff, but it's incredibly important. additionally, use protection against sexually transmitted diseases and infections! get tested regularly, be open and honest with your partner(s), and always pee after sex.

have fun! have weird sex! have vanilla sex! try out some new kinks! celebrate the endless possibilities!

#ask avishai

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