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kunimikat · 3 years

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hi! i'm having a hard time mentally lately and i recently found out that i kind of erm,,,,, when my mental health is really bad my brain is like "no!😀" and skyrockets me into absolute baby mode and just want cuddles and love and i feel really lonely and don't talk a lot. bokuto is my comfort character so if you woudlnt mind could you do some headcanons or whatever you want- about him helping? feel free to ignore this i know it's a bit strange💔 but i thought i'd throw it out there :) 💞

I really hope it gets better for you, I hope my shitty HCs somehow makes your day a little better. Lots of love 🥺🤲❤️oh and this might’ve come off more angsty but I promise I put fluff at the end. And listen to this while reading cause it just makes this- 💔🦟🦗🦟🦗❤️

Requests are open! And if you have requests like this I’m happy to do them :)

Also proof read but still might be mistakes.sorry, there might be some triggering things in here, but there is nothing crazy so I think it’s ok 🧍

Before you guys even got together he’d always check up on you.

To the point were he subconsciously did it anywhere, and anytime

He’d give you small owl knickknacks or a snack before school started, or when it ended. Making sure you ate something that day.

Or he’d just try to make you laugh as much as he could during then

But sometimes he’d drop everything, and just give you a tight hug. Anywhere, no matter who it was in front of. Holding you close to him, not saying anything but you could hear him tripping over the words he wanted to say but just couldn’t.

He could tell it was a bad day where you’d come in and just sit on the benches or bleachers with both in mind but staring at the bright fluorescent gym lights. Where you’d just zone out mid-conversation and look at your feet or phone in disinterest. When you’d throw in a sarcastic self-deprecation joke when someone would ask if you’re ok.

Or when you’d have days where you’d stay up studying, doing your homework, and not sleeping for who knows how long when you come in with the energy drink in hand. Or the days when you’d get nothing done, and just sleep everything away and just deal with it the next day.

It didn’t take a therapist or a mastermind to tell you weren’t ok.

The nervous tics, the small lip bites, the impulsive “Let’s do something and think about consequences later!”

Bokuto knew he was just like the latter but at least it wasn’t all the time, so when he saw his bestfriend and crush slowly killing themselves mentally (and maybe physically, he was hoping not), yet cracking jokes about it the next second. All he wanted to do was run in and kiss you until all you felt was loved.

He just wanted to see you happy again

He felt like fainting everytime he saw you giggle or laugh at his antics(knowing Bokuto that has probably happened)

Or when you and Ahgkaaashi would hang out with him at the Owl section of the Zoo and pick out your favorite ones

When you two would try cooking some dish either of you couldn even try pronouncing and it ending in a mess. One he didn’t mind cleaning up when he got to talk to you throughout the whole time.

The times you’d have to turn in your work a little late because you were helping Bokuto cope after losing a game, which he felt bad about but you brushed it off with a genuine smile saying “I can’t leave poor Akaashi with Bokuemo for the rest of the week can I?” “H-Hey!”

When you and Bokuto would hang out in the bird themed cafe on the end of the street from school. And just be yourselves without having to impress anyone.

How you excuse yourself from the group of people you barely knew the names of, to go cry in the bathroom then come back as if nothing happened.

Times where you both forget your in highschool with insecurities, voice cracks, stress, and having to make a decision regarding the rest of your life by the end of it. And just laying in some random parking lot, staring into the blaring street lamp light and the stars behind it.

Bokuto loved it when you didn’t use the jokes to cover up how you felt. Or how you jumped to another subject when he would ask. When you tell him everything you’re feeling.,

The confusion, the way you didn’t know why your mind worked the way it did and why you felt horrible all of a sudden but fine the next.

You wanted it to stop, to have an explanation for the way you think and why. Yet now you’re telling no one, and clearly holding it in. Bokuto was now watching you letyour emotions eat you alive from the inside out.

He just wanted the you he knew. The you that he had so many fun memories with. Not the forced persona you played when you needed a cover up for how you truly felt.

This wasn’t the way he wanted to confess but it was getting all too much for Bokuto to watch,

Bokuto’s tears were streaming down his face as he had you held out in front of him. His body was trembling and his grasp was so shaky it was easy to break away. But you knew you could ever do that to him, or yourself. He clenched his jaw , not being able to lock eyes with you, a painful tug at his heart everytime he locked eyes with your hopeless look. You felt tears brimming your eyes yet you didn’t even know why he sat you down here. But you felt it was your fault, so immediately you let out a ‘Sorry-‘

Instead of an answer Bokuto pulled you toward him, pushing your head into the crook of his neck. You let out a choked noise as surprise, instinctively wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Why...why’re you saying sorry Y/N? I should be saying sorry for not helping you, I-“

Bokuto lost his breath for a second as a silent sob wracked his body, bringing you closer to him. Tears were falling down from your eyes but you could barely feel them as they became a stream.

“Y/N, I love you, I love you so, so much. Why are you doing this to yourself? You know you could come talk to me, I-I’m not the the best therapist but,-“

He let out a shaky breath, pulling you back out to look at you directly. You squeezed his arm that was holding you, reassuring him you felt the same way, but also to go on. Puffy eyes and a tear stained face looked at you sternly. “Please, please don’t keep these feelings to yourself Y/N. It hurts, it hurts me so much when I see you like this. Especially since you feel like you can’t come to me. I-, I-“

Bokuto bit his lip, clenching his eyes tight, forcing the tears that were already threatening to fall out. “I don’t want to see you like this. I love you, I love you.”The only thing lacing his tone is the sincerity in it.

He says it again to make sure you understood every word that came from him. But he didn’t need to. His grip so tight on your arms it almost hurt. But in a way, you didn’t mind it as it showed you how much more serious this was to him.

“You have me, Kaashi, the team, and honestly anyone! We all love you and what you have to say!”

You both give small shaky laughs, despite the situation, the tension slowly melting. He wipes the tears that were flowing down your cheeks, kissing each one after he did. You held each one of his hand. Squeezing them to give yourself courage, and to know this was all too real.

“Bokuto...I’m so sorry to you and everyone else. I- I locked myself away because I thought I would be bothering you and everyone and could just get over it then push the feelings down. But now seeing you...seeing you so much...pain, someone I love hurt because of me. I...I really realize how I was affecting everyone.”

Bokuto tried denying but you shook your head, your eyes that were looking down were now up at him.

“I’ve come to reality especially after seeing you like this Bo, I love you too, and I want to make it up to you this whole week! No, month...year? Whatever. I’ll be better for our future. And you know what, why don’t I help you with that math homework so we’re both gonna get better at something by the end of the week!”

Laugher filled the once cold room with a feeling of warmth that you couldn’t explain. Bokuto leaned in and gave a small peck. You were about to give a small hum in happiness. Until he pulled far back away from you in panic.

“I-Is something wrong Bo? Does my breath stink-“

“N-NONONO NOTHING LIKE THAT. ITS JUST...I just kissed you without asking...a-and I read in a magazine you’re supposed to do that or your crush won’t like you back!”

Silence.

But you interrupted it with your laughter, holding onto to one of his shoulders to not fall over. He had a confused look on his face as he fidgeted, not knowing what to do. “Y-Y/N! What?”

“You’re so stupid Bo,”

And like that you pulled him into a kiss, one he quickly melted into. He made a small surprised noise, but that was the only noise of complaint. The kiss turned into Bokuto giving you pecks all over your face. A giddy feeling in your stomach with each one. Between the kisses you say “Y’know I’m surprised you decided to sit down and read a magazine without testing on the real deal.” His face has a small flush, instead of saying anything he just kisses you aggressively all over, causing you to reel back and laugh harder. He pulls away from the assault and grabs your hand. He leads you over to the couch and hugs you as you both flop onto the couch. You looked at him confused, “Bo?”

But he just turned the TV on, clicked through the channels, until he found one he liked. He looked over at you excitedly, “Let’s cuddle and watch the movie I was talking about last week!”

The genuine excitement in his voice was all it took to have you wrapped around his finger. So now it was getting late and you were falling asleep to Bokuto gently rubbing his hand in circles on your back. And his faint smell of cologne luring you to sleep.

Hey! Sorry if this is on the shorter side, but I tried packing as much emotion as I could into it to make up. I hope you enjoyed this, cause I added a few of my little issues into it so I hope you don’t mind. (Also along with some people ik) I really hope it gets better for you, hopefully by now even though this came out late (sorry really busy this month for some reason🧍) if you need anyone to talk to I’m always open to hear❤️..

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dinosaurtsukki · 3 years

Text

being the MSBY Jackals’ physiotherapist

anon: HEY BOO! LISTEN BEING THE BLACK JACKELS PHYSIOTHERAPIST! I can imagine a lot of damage I- bye 😽 I could I please have that as a headcanon 👉👈 thanks! ❤️ (that is a If requests are open..)

they are most definitely open and OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING IDEA WHEN I GOT THIS I COULDN’T WAIT TO START. i’ve been watching a lot of vids on what physical therapists do too and i hope you like this it was so fun to write !!

Bokuto Koutarou:

he deadass got you mixed up with the sports psychologist

when he walked into your clinic he was all ‘ah, hey there’ before lying faceup on the cot and just talking about his problems

and at first you were alright cause good to make conversation and everything until you realized.... “this guy thinks i’m the therapist”

bokuto: people always assume that i’m really naive and i kinda am but--

you: bokuto,,,, i’m not the therapist

bokuto: oh 👁👄👁

you: does it, um, hurt anywhere?

bokuto: *points to his heart*

after directing him to therapist’’s office, you finally clear up his misconceptions on what you’re supposed to be

you did hear about bokuto but what you didn’t expect was that he was An Actual Ray of Sunshine

whenever he comes to your office for his weekly check-ups, he always brings some sort of present

he likes to bring a package of cookies and the two of you eat them while you have your session

bokuto still uses the term ‘ouchie’ and it’s adorable

he takes really good of himself and his body so he isn’t prone to serious injuries. as soon as he knows something feels off, he’ll stop himself from working and come to your clinic

except,,, he comes way too often

bokuto: I WAS FLEXING MY FINGER AND THEN IT SUDDENLY MADE A CRACK SOUND WILL IT FALL OFF???

you: you’ve... never popped your fingers before?

bokuto: you can POP your FINGERS???

in interviews, bokuto loves to mention all the people who helped him on his journey and ngl it’s a REALLY LONG LIST but he always, always mentions you as ‘the best physical therapist ever!!’

and it makes you so soft you love your job so much

he actually ends up recommending you to his friend, akaashi keiji, because bokuto knows his shoulders and back hurt

akaashi comes into your office and just goes: “can you crack my back and shake me like a glowstick?”

you: i think you’re looking for a chiropractor

akaashi: ...

you: okay, lie down. i’ll see what i can do

Hinata Shouyo:

he got LOST TRYING TO FIND YOUR CLINIC

like, you were checking your watch wondering where your client was before he burst into your clinic thirty minutes late

also for some reason he was really nervous to see you poor baby he had the misconception that you were there to find what was wrong with him and then after he wouldn’t be able to play again

so he was genuinely surprised after you just made him do a few stretches for him, recommended some ways to move his body to utilize it better, and just sent him off

hinata: just... just like that?

you: yeah, pretty much. unless you feel that something else is wrong

after that he’s not so afraid to visit your clinic. in fact, he enjoys it quite a lot!

hinata really takes note of the advice you gave him (he brings a notepad and everything) and he likes to call you up to let you know that they worked

he actually calls you A LOT, like you’re probably the person he texts and calls the most other than natsu

at one point he was calling you every single day asking about what to eat until you decided to make a whole-ass weekly meal plan for him to just cycle through

he’s actually quite flexible (not as much as sakusa though) and he’s so proud of being able to reach farther than his toes

when you’re not looking though he measures himself against the height chart on your wall and you think it’s absolutely adorable

hinata knows how to take care of his body and TRIES not to overwork himself but sometimes he gets really impatient about wanting to improve so he’ll stay late in the gym, practicing his spikes and serves

BUT since his teammates know hinata listens to you they’ll threaten to tell you when he’s overworking

sakusa: hinata, if you don’t leave the gym right this instant i am calling y/n

hinata: just five more minutes!!

sakusa: *pulls out his phones and presses some random numbers in*

hinata: OKAY OKAY I’M GOING

it’s kind of like the adult version of your parents calling the doctor when you don’t want to eat

also you have no idea that this happens

even though he’s moved on from it, hinata still gets a bit paranoid about playing a major game while being sick

you’re always at their games as part of their medic crew and before it starts, hinata always comes up to you and asks if you can take his temperature

you didn’t know why until atsumu explained everything so now you make sure to always have a temperature on you for hinata’s peace of mind

Atsumu Miya:

someone who actually knows what physical therapists actually do thank god

ngl you’re kinda shookt at how large he is in real life when he walks into your clinic

he also assumes right away that you want an autograph so he gifts you a signed picture of himself which you always have on your desk from now on because come on you are a fan

atsumu’s really nice to talk to, he does flirt quite a bit but he genuinely asks about how you are too or if your family is doing alright

such a sweet boy

atsumu’s the one who visits your office often but for reasons that are actually relevant to your job because this man just overexerts himself too much

and he keeps brushing it off and saying that he’s alright but you know better you’re a physical therapist for god’s sake

atsumu: i’m telling you. it’s just a sprain!

you: *pokes his ankle*

atsumu: aaaAAAAAAHHHH

he’s the one that you have to constantly keep tabs on and thanks to the help of his teammates and a spare key, you’re able to drop by his apartment once in a while

but no matter how much of a pain in the ass he is you still can’t help but want to take care of him. whenever you make yourself dinner you find yourself making seconds for atsumu

before you know it, you’re making dinner for your favorite MSBY boys because you don’t want them to feel left out

you also have to stop atsumu from overdoing on the protein shakes and drinking vitamins

because he’s addicted protein shakes especially the strawberry-flavored one but you’re the only one who knows that so shhhhhh

atsumu: if one vitamin capsule makes me healthy, does that mean drinking more will make me even more healthy ??

you: NO STOP. STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING. RIGHT NOW.

one time you got a call in the middle of the night from atsumu saying that he ate an entire container of gummy vitamins and you had to run to his place in your pajamas

idk you just see him so much because he keeps getting injuries and it’s hilarious

atsumu, walking into your clinic: hey, doc! they sent me here cause my back hurts from carrying the entire team!

you: atsumu, you dislocated your shoulder

Sakusa Kiyoomi:

probably your most normal client among the four of them but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy his visits to the clinic

well, actually when he first visited your clinic, everyone else stalked him because they wanted to see his Flexible Wrists in action

you had to chase them out

sakusa is SO HAPPY that you just took one look at his Flexi-Wrists and noted it down without going batshit over it

you always spray the cots and your instruments with alcohol before he comes in and sakusa knows cause he smells it and he appreciates that so much

one thing that you do notice is that sakusa,,, frequently glances at the jar of lollipops you keep on your desk and give out to your kid patients

and after a session he just lingers for a bit before saying good bye and leaving so one day you just take a chance

you: would you,,, like a lollipop?

sakusa: .... yes please

he chooses a cherry flavored one and is about to leave when he sits back down on the chair

sakusa: they’ll never let me hear the end of it if they see me

so you let him stay in your clinic for a bit longer before deciding to also get a lollipop and that’s how the two of you end your sessions

no talking. just lollipop eating

(i know how it looks but pls don’t add sexual connotations i jus want sakusa to enjoy a fricking lollipop)

he actually likes to remember the scientific muscle names and everything just to impress you

also, he doesn’t want to give you a hard time but he also likes visiting your office and talking to you (and eating the lollipops) so he makes up all these excuses to come by your clinic

sakusa: i hit my toe on the table

you: okaay, do you need a bandaid?

sakusa: it was the small toe

sakusa’s quite selective about the people he’s with so he’s kind of attached to you now. like it or not, you’re his personal doctor

prepare to receive texts like ‘y/n, i have a cough. what should i drink?’

you: sakusa, i’m a PHYSICAL THERAPIST

you: also, ginger tea is supposed to be good for you

he’s actually your eyes and ears when it comes to monitoring the team. kind of like the kid who tattles to the teacher in pre-school

sakusa: y/n, atsumu’s overdoing it again

you: is that so?

atsumu, in the background: NOOOOO NOOO I’M NOT !! SAKUSA’S LYING

you have such a soft spot for sakusa. when he had to be confined at home for breaking his ankle, you sent him a whole jar of lollipops

he ate them all in one day

***********************************************

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos @miyumtwins @strawberriimilkshake @pocubo @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan @therainroguefanfiction @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh @charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @waitforitillwritemywayout @kattykurr @tpwkatsumu

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addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

OHSHC Rewrite: Episode 3b

Beware of the Physical Exams!

Host Club x reader

Summary: When the hosts convince y/n to get help, she finds trouble instead.

Word Count: 5.4k

Episode Masterlist

"Y/n, we've come here today to talk about a problem regarding you."

You looked around nervously, and began your verbal diarrhea. "Okay, um, first of all, I want to say I'm sorry. I know it's our number one priority to make the clients happy, and I was side tracked, and that's on me. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have been unprofessional with Alarico and that's super my fault. I know I need to get 100 guests and I'm only at 39 but I can do better, and again I'm really sorry for everything about yesterday, and—"

"Y/n," Kyoya cut you off. "This has nothing to do with your quota, or Alarico Gonzalez's behavior."

"Oh." You said dumbly.

"This is about your anxiety attack."

"Oh." You grumbled, though you quickly regained your composure. "I'm sorry you had to see that senpai."

"It was no trouble, and I've read that they can be very sudden and frightening to those who get them." He stated.

"We're really worried." Hikaru said.

"Yeah," Kaoru agreed. "When Kyoya told us, we had no idea how to help."

"You have to take care of yourself y/n-chan." Honey clutched usa-chan.

"Yeah." Mori said.

"That is why," Tamaki said, pointing to you. "We've decided to set up an appointment with the school therapist today!"

"Woah, let's not take it that far. I'm okay guys, really."

"You didn't look okay when you had trouble breathing yesterday." Kyoya stated.

"That was just a little hiccup!" You explained. "Things happen. I'm okay now, which is more important, right?"

Tamaki stepped up to you. "You're going to therapy, and that's final!"

"No." You said forcefully. This struck his feelings, and he sulked in the corner. You sighed. "I'm sorry I worried you all, and I'll be careful next time. I don't want to waste time and cut any classes so a therapist can tell me depressing things. I just want to forget about sad stuff here."

You gave them a smile. "Well, she seems unmotivated." Hikaru stated.

"But how are we going to get her to agree?" Kaoru asked.

Mori then thought of something. "Squishy ice cream."

That struck a nerve. You gasped and carefully looked at them, and Tamaki then got up. "That's right~ You were so busy last episode that you never got to try any, did you~?"

"Did you hear that?" Hikaru whispered mockingly. "She's never even tried squishy ice cream before. Isn't that sad?"

"Talk about a tragedy." Kaoru whispered back.

You nervously laughed. "C'mon guys, you don't really think of me as such glutton because I'm poor and never had it that I'd force myself to go to some therapy for some ice cream would you?" You kept nervously laughing, and everybody else smiled at you. You then quietly asked, "What time is the appointment?"

"We knew it." The twins said.

You scoffed and smiled. "You guys are something else. Why do you even care about this?"

"Don't refer to yourself as this!" Tamaki exclaimed. "If you need anything, know that I'm always here for you."

"You mean all of us are here for her?" Hikaru asked.

"As I said before, you are all the homosexual supporting cast!"

You let out an involuntary laugh. "Really senpai? Supporting cast?" You asked, walking over to them. "That's a little self absorbed of you." You then thought of something. "Can you guys do me a little favor though? Let's keep the therapy sessions to ourselves. My clients get worried easily and I feel weird when they get curious and ask me about my issues."

"Well, your appointment is right after the physical exams," Kyoya explained. "So that might be an issue."

"Alright then," Tamaki announced. "Gentlemen, it's time to enact The Keep Y/n's Secret Safe Plan!"

Later that day you walked with the twins to the physical exam, though the line was going to be too long to not miss your therapy session. When you went in there, your mouth hung open. "What the hell is this?!"

"It's just a regular physical exam." Hikaru said.

"I've seen malls smaller than this." You whisper shouted, speed walking to hold each twin by the arm, timidly looking at all the people and fancy stations. "This is so out of place for me. I feel so awkward."

They paid no mind to you gripping onto them, or at least tried not to. "Seriously y/n, you need to stop being amazed and scared at everything here." Kaoru said.

"I was amazed and scared of the host club when I walked in. Look at us now." You offered. Neither of them said anything but looked down at you. You then saw Mori and Honey dressed up in doctor attire. "Wait, what?" They put their fingers over their mouths shush you. "So obvious." You muttered.

"I have those two for back up in case this plan doesn't execute properly." Kyoya came out and explained.

"Why are they in doctor uniforms?"

"It helps set the mood." He pushed up his glasses. "Disguises make our mission feel like a real espionage."

You watched the doctor encourage a girl as three other nurses clapped for her. "This is weird." You said. "All the staff here are actually nice."

"Of course." Kyoya said. "All staff is chosen by the chairman. It is a school, but it's also a business. He wants the students to be happy, and most students here already have their own doctors for their families. So this, is just a formality."

You quietly scoffed and shrugged, shaking your head. You and the twins kept walking when someone bumped into Kyoya, and Kyoya's gaze lingered on him.

"Huh." The twins then began taking off their shirts to do their exams, and girls started squealing. "See now?" Kyoya asked. "Physical exam day is quite popular with the ladies."

"Hm. My physical exams in y/c had us also do exercise. Everybody was rude and just wanted to get everything over with, and that makes more sense than this." You then shook your head. "But girls here would probably still be squealing for that too because sweat is apparently attractive too."

The twins were being themselves and girls continued squealing. Mori and Honey took this as an opportunity to push you into a corner nobody was in. Tamaki then caught you from behind. "I've been waiting for you princess." He said in your ear.

"Tamaki senpai?" You turned your head.

He giggled in your ear. "You're so cute when you're surprised." He then stepped back. "This is it, the inevitable moment."

"What are you gonna do?"

He shushes you with his finger. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." You felt your cheeks tingle. That was until he put on a wig and stepped into the exams area. "I am ready to take the exams." He announced in his best impression of your voice.

"Hey, is Tamaki trying to dress as a girl?" One girl asked.

Tamaki was shocked, as if he didn't realize people would notice. The twins then bursted out laughing. "He actually did it!" Hikaru laughed out.

"I can't believe he didn't know that wouldn't work!"

Tamaki blushed and angrily grabbed Hikaru. "Why didn't you tell me it wouldn't work?!"

"It's payback for calling us homosexual supporting cast!" He laughed out.

Tamaki looked over at you shyly with big sad eyes. "Um, listen y/n," he timidly said.

"Did you really think that would work?" You asked, and your tone showed that it was a genuine question. He said nothing but pouted, causing you to glare at him. "Big words senpai. Small execution."

"Come this way y/n," Kyoya said. "There's a private room waiting for you."

"Senpai, you look like your enjoying this." You smiled at him. Tamaki dropped to his knees in the background.

Kyoya was smiling as well. "Well, I did need to get my revenge too. I don't appreciate being called supporting cast, homosexual or otherwise."

You both walked away as Tamaki weakly reached for you while fading away. You then went into a room with a female nurse. "Good morning Miss Y/l/n. It's a pleasure to meet you. I've been informed of your circumstances, so we can hurry along this process."

"Thank you ma'am."

"Of course. Step right this way please. You can undress in there." You nodded and stepped inside the dressing area.

The boys were listening to this girl cry about a doctor who supposedly made a pass at her. "I've never been so terrified." She cried.

"How scary!"

"Do you think he was a pervert?" This girls were huddled around her for comfort.

"I had a feeling this might happen." Kyoya thought out loud. "Earlier today I saw a strange man in a white lab coat, though clearly not one of our doctors.

"Shouldn't you have said something sooner?" The twins asked in an annoyed manner.

"I'm sure it's no big deal. I'm sure the security guard will catch him." Kyoya offered.

They still listened to the group in the back. "Tell me," said a doctor. "Did you see where this man went?"

"Yes sir, he was headed towards the private clinic down the hall." The boys were all silent as they realized that he was going to your room.

You had just unbuttoned your shirt, leaving you in your bra. You were about to take off your pants when a man went into your changing room and was peaking outside. It was almost like he didn't see you. "W–um, excuse me, but—"

He rushed over to you and covered your mouth with his hand. "No, it's not what you think. Please just be quiet."

"Y/n!" You both turned to see Tamaki in the air. "Tama-chan~ kick!" He kicked the man in the face and sent him flying into the wall. Tamaki then spun in the air a few times before coming down to the ground.

The twins then appeared. "One. Good looks that attract the public eye."

Kyoya then stepped out of the shadows. "Two. More wealth than you can imagine."

Mori then spoke up. "Three. Chivalry that will never be able to overlook,"

"The hideous wickedness of this world." Honey finished.

As you hugged yourself Tamaki gently placed his own shirt over you. "That's what make up the Ouran Host Club!"

They posed, with an exception of Mori and Kyoya, saying, "We're here, watch out!"

"Please don't hurt me! Spare me my life!" He bowed as you buttoned up Tamaki's shirt. He then got back up. "I run a small medical clinic in the next town over."

You were taken aback by the sudden fact. You looked at Honey, whispering, "Why is he telling us his life story?"

Honey shrugged, and you all listened. "My name is Yabu." You suppressed your laughter, since Yabu is another word for quack doctor. "You see, I came to find my daughter. My wife left me a month ago and took my daughter with her! I know that my daughter goes here."

You sat down to be at the same eye level with him. "Well now that I'm invested into the story, I gotta ask. What happened to make them leave?"

He explained that he kept giving people money and they don't usually pay them back. The latest time was the last straw, and they both left. "I can never say no to anyone. I don't blame them for not wanting to constantly live in debt. But I wanted to see my daughter one last time, so I wandered through the streets and was pounded by rain until I came here. But once I entered I was mistaken for a doctor, here to examine students!"

You smiled. "You mean they mistook the guy wearing a lab coat as a doctor? That's... wow."

"And then it happened," He ignored you. He then explained how he asked a girl for directions and she ran away screaming. "And before I knew it, there were all kinds of people chasing me!" He was bursting with tears.

"So tragic!" Tamaki was also crying.

"Pardon me," Kyoya said. "But I think you may have the wrong highschool. Are you looking for Ouran Public Highschool?"

"Yeah?" He stopped crying and looked up.

"I figured that might be the case. This is Ouran Academy, private institution. Your daughter doesn't go to school here."

He looked shocked, and the twins began to voice their opinions. "Man, you don't even know where your daughter goes to school? That's pretty sad." Hikaru said.

"Yeah, I bet your relationship's messed up because you don't pay attention to them, not because of some stupid debt."

"Wow Kyo-chan, you figured that out pretty quickly." Honey congratulated him.

"Well, the daughter of such a small business man could never afford to go here." You scrunched up your nose I'm response.

"Kyoya," Tamaki said. "Could you make a map of the public schools in this area? I'd like to help this man."

Kyoya looked surprised for a second, but smiled and regained his composure. "Whatever you say."

As the man got up you stepped in front of him. "If you'll allow me to give some advice." He nodded. "If you get there and school is still in session, don't just go in. Wait until she's finished with school, or else you're gonna look like a creep and she'll be too angry and embarrassed to talk." He said nothing and nodded, bowing. He left soon after, and you were all still in the private room. "Well, sorry to do this, but can you guys please leave now?"

Everybody looked surprised. "Y/n, are you still angry with me?" Tamaki said. "You're not going to quit the host club are you?"

You turned to him and smiled, patting his shoulder. "Don't be silly senpai. I need to get to that stupid therapy sesh and you need to put on a shirt. I just gotta take the physical exams and I'll give it back to you." You then turned around and smiled. "Let's get this straight though. I'm not doing it for some food, I'm doing it for my debt."

You giggled, and Tamaki smothered you with a hug. "I can see right through you! I know you're doing it for some squishy ice cream!"

He was smothering too much. "Okay, stop it! The shirt's riding up!"

"Red card!" The twins said in unison. They then dragged Tamaki out and everyone else followed.

You finished your exam fairly quickly and was guided by your nurse to the room of your therapist. "Good morning." She grinned. "Please sit anywhere you'd like."

You had decided right then and there that this was going to suck. There was fancy decor and expensive looking items. There was a nice looking couch and even nicer looking chairs. She had a desk that looked like it costed way too much, and she wore expensive clothing. This was all too much. You didn't belong in this room.

You silently sat on the couch. "I hope you feel your most comfortable self with me, so we can talk about anything you want." Her grin was still on and her tone was still chirpy. You said nothing. "Do you want to begin the conversation?"

You hesitated before speaking up. "May I ask about your background?"

"My background? Well that's an incredibly boring subject, but go ahead! Let's not have any secrets between each other, okay?"

You were silent for a moment again. "How were you brought up? Was it surrounded by things like this?"

You didn't try to smile. You didn't want to be here. There wasn't anything wrong with you, so there wasn't a reason to be here. Besides, this room itself was giving you anxiety. "Things like this? Well, I'm not really the materialistic person, but if you're asking me if I was born into a wealthy family that helped paved the way to my position, then yes. I was born into this."

Her smile never faltered, and you didn't like it. You didn't like the feeling of any of this. Exposed, you felt so exposed. It made you put your head down in shame. "Then don't you think you're a little overqualified to be talking to me right now?"

She was taken aback, but began writing in her notebook. She slightly nodded to it, as if she had decided something. "My, is that what you think?"

What the hell would she even write from that? That you have self esteem issues? That you're self conscious about yourself here? You deserved so much squishy icecream for this. You only shrugged.

"You don't seem very relaxed right now. Maybe we could talk about why that is." You shrugged again. Her smile almost left her face, but she hung onto it. "We can't make any progress if you we don't put in effort dear."

You sucked up your annoyance and smiled, bringing your head up. "If you want me to be happy about this, you could've just said so. And the reason why I'm uncomfortable is because this room is making me uncomfortable."

She then wrote in her notebook again. "I see. Is it the atmosphere? We can go outside to the garden if it makes you feel any better."

"Is this session a one time thing?"

She chuckled. "That's not how progress works."

"Then we can stay in here so I could get used to this feeling."

It was like she cornered you. She knew exactly where to strike. "Do you always feel like you need to comply to things? Like you have to be the one to adjust?"

You frowned. "Where did that come from?"

"Please answer the question dear."

"I don't know, I guess. I have to though. It's not like everybody else has to change their viewpoints to accommodate only me."

"Do those viewpoints make you upset?"

"No."

"I'd appreciate if didn't lie to me."

She seemed to have every one of your moves calculated. She suddenly knew how to outsmart you. "Sometimes, I guess. I don't know. They'll say a comment or two about how different commoners are to normal rich people. It's weird. I never considered myself normal, but I'm different for another reason here than before."

You wanted to slap yourself for saying that. She only wrote in her notebook again. "How were you different before?"

"It just sometimes felt like us against the world. The four of us were unbreakable and we didn't care that it was that way. I felt proud to be looked down on, in this weird way, because my friends were down there with me laughing at everyone else."

"And now?"

"Now I'm down there alone. Everybody looks down on me, but there's no one else to share that with. It just sucks sometimes."

"You have two separate friend groups that you mention. Do you feel differently towards the one back in y/c than here?"

"I never felt ashamed with my y/c friends, I guess. I don't know. They knew everything about me, and they still loved me for it. Maybe I feel like my friends here will just pity me if I open up more?" You brought your knees up and buried your face in between them. "Ugh, no offense doctor, but this sucks butt. I thought this was supposed to help me with my anxiety."

"And you don't feel anxiety when thinking about your new friends finding things out about you?"

You couldn't help but let out a laugh and fall to lay of the couch. "Damn it, you're actually pretty good."

"People can be more complex than you might think. Just as you feel like they won't understand you because of your background, you aren't giving them a chance because of their background." You looked up at her. She was still smiling.

You chuckled. "You really do suck." You then sat up straight. "Hey, how are other people like with your sneaky forwardness?"

She waved off the question. "Oh, I'm usually not like this at all. I normally have to go through this journey with them until they figure it out on their own. I figured you weren't like that and would prefer someone who wouldn't baby you. It's actually quite nice to get straight forward answers back."

You genuinely smiled. "I'm sorry doctor, I think I underestimated you."

She had a different smile on this time. "Hm. Tell me something that your new friends don't know about you."

"That's kinda hard. One of them ran a background check on me."

She chose not to push her luck and not ask about that. "Well, it can be a small fact."

You let out a sigh and looked down again. "I mean, I was at the store the other day and bought them all keychains. Once I brought them to school I realized how worthless this would be to them. So I just kept them.

"Pushing for a better relationship with your friends will maybe let them push with you. They might like the gifts. You don't know until you try it."

"Thanks doctor." You smiled at her.

"One last question, how did you act with your old friends? Were you touchy feely or more to yourself?"

"Um, touchy feely I guess." You then thought about how you and your friends never really had respect for each other's boundaries, though none of you cared. "Really touchy feely actually."

"Try to work on getting to that level with your new friends." She then checked the time. "Oh, it seems we just ended our session. I'm glad we got this far, and there's so much more to talk about. I'll see you next week."

"Yeah, okay." You smiled and got up.

"Oh, dear,"

You stopped. "Yeah?"

"Why don't you give your old friends a call? You seem like you miss them."

"Okay." You said, chirpy. "Bye!"

You walked back to the physical exam area, and everyone was just about finished. All your friends stared at you as you silently walked over to them. You didn't say anything and looked spaced out.

"Y/n," Tamaki quietly asked. "Are you mad at us for sending you to therapy? You're making a face."

"I'm just thinking senpai." You didn't look at him.

"About quitting the club?!" He grabbed you by the shoulders.

You gently poked his face and pushed it away with your finger. "About whether or not I should give you guys something." The bell rang and you looked at the twins. "Oh, let's go guys. Bye everyone."

Nobody said anything. You went to your class silently. "Uh, y/n?" Hikaru asked.

"Hm?" You turned to them.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kaoru asked.

You smiled and hugged them both. "I'm sure."

After school you decided to use your phone and call the one person you know who also has a phone. The other two were also there, and the three were planning to see you as a surprise on Monday. Luckily, Jasmine can't keep a surprise to save her life.

You entered the host club with a big smile, setting down your bag to turn and see all the boys staring at you. "What?" You asked, still smiling. "Oh! The gifts."

"So you actually did get us something?" Kaoru asked.

"Yup." You brought them out of your backpack and walked over to Mori. You handed him a keychain of a small black belt. "I heard someone say you were in kendo, so I thought this would be nice."

He smiled and patted the top of your head. "Thanks."

You excitedly nodded and bent down to Honey, giving him a bunny keychain. "I thought it would kinda remind you of usa-chan if you two were ever apart."

His eyes shown as he held it in his hands. "Cute! Thanks y/n-chan!"

You walked over to the twins, handing them a tweedle dee and tweedle dum keychains. You didn't know how to explain this one, so all you did was nervously chuckle.

"Get it?" They only stared at it and back at you as you awkwardly walked away and went to Kyoya. You gave him a paintbrush keychain. "One of my clients told me you could paint?"

He smiled and took the gift. "Hm. Thank you y/n."

You grinned and walked over to Tamaki. He was like a puppy who was excited to get a treat. You didn't take any notice in the blush on his face, nervous yourself that he'd say something about the piss poor gift. You put a small bear keychain in his hand.

"I know you have a teddy bear like this, and I've seen your dorky led pencil with the bear on it." An arrow went through him. "So I thought this would be a nice addition."

"No offense," Hikaru said, staring at the gift in his hand. Everybody turned their heads to him. "But you know these are kinda useless to us right?"

You frowned, but quickly replaced it with a smile. "Yeah," you nervously chuckled. "I'm sorry. It's stupid, I don't even know why I got them. Sorry." You then quickly began to walk away. "I'm gonna get my stuff set up."

You made some special tea for your first guest since she mentioned last time it was her favorite. While you were doing this, Tamaki stormed over to Hikaru. "What was that about?"

"What?" He shrugged. "It's true. I don't get why everyone's acting like this is some treasure."

Kyoya began writing in his book. "According to my sources, y/n also gave her friends back home keychains. It's a gift that she can afford, but it seems to only be something that she only gives to those she holds dear." They all looked back at Kyoya, who was still writing. "Don't you think it's peculiar that right after she talked to her therapist, y/n said that she felt comfortable giving us each a gift?"

Kaoru didn't know what to say, and Tamaki grabbed Hikaru's shoulder. "Listen to me." He said quietly. "You have to apologize to y/n. She wanted to do something nice for you, and you showed your gratitude like a slap in the face to her."

He looked over to you in an annoyed manner, walking over and tapping your shoulder. You flinched but still mustered up a smile. Before he could say anything, the host doors opened.

He didn't get the chance to say anything for the next three hours, as you were always busy with a new guest. Over the three hours guilt began to plague him. Why was he feeling bad? It was a harmless fact. His chest felt heavy.

Finally when they were all gone, you began cleaning as quickly as possible. He tried to slyly get closer to you, but you noticed and kept moving to a new area quickly. It was annoying him. "Hey," he called out to you in a demanding tone. "Are you mad at me or something?"

You didn't look in his direction, busying yourself with cleaning. "No. Why do you say that?"

"Tch." He didn't have patience for the feelings inside him. "Why are you avoiding me then?!"

You, as well as the other hosts, were surprised by the sudden outburst. You let out a sigh, turning to face him and giving him a smile. "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry that you had to raise your voice at me."

"Why are you still being nice?" He said in a quiet manner, embarrassed for yelling at you for no important reason. "I just yelled at you."

"Um, I'm sure you're used to having people's full attention." You offered a shrug, your smile still sticking. "People who're raised by hearing a lot of yes's are usually bound to be more demanding. It's only natural, so it's whatever."

"No it's not!" He raised his voice again. "You should be getting mad at others being rude to you. Don't be such a pushover!"

His words stung, and you dropped your smile. "Don't call me that." You said a little forcefully.

"You know what? Next time you go to therapy, work on that!" You didn't say anything and angrily continued cleaning while everybody stared at Hikaru. Tamaki was being held back by Kaoru, while Hikaru was just staring at you. Damnit. This was supposed to be an apology, but he made things worse. "Y/n—"

"No."

Your simple demand got everyone's eyes to you. Kaoru and Tamaki held each other from how scary you looked, while Hikaru stepped a few paces back. After a few seconds he was ready to retaliate with another comment, but before he could he was pulled back by Kaoru.

"Hikaru, try to calm down." Kaoru offered.

This got him angrier. "I don't even need her to forgive me! It's always been me and you, and we never needed anyone else! Why should that change now?"

They both stopped when they noticed you sadly staring at them. You then looked back at your cart full of dishes and rolled it away. When you came back you only saw one twin bashfully staring at you.

"Look y/n, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things, and—"

You began to giggle. "Wow, I never knew people thought of me as so much of an idiot to really not think I can tell some twins apart. Nice try Kaoru." He looked at you, shocked. You kept walking, before stopping to quickly say "I appreciate you trying though."

You walked over to the other twin, who was tied up and squirming under Tamaki's foot. You motioned for Tamaki to back down, which he did as you sat down next to the tied up twin, pulling down the tie over his mouth. "What was that for boss?!"

"If you cannot respect a woman properly, you will have to handled improperly!" You flashed Tamaki a smile for the comment, and he began rolling on the ground and muttering about how cute you are.

You turned to look at Hikaru, who angrily looked away from you. "So, I get it now." You grinned.

"Get what?" He shyly looked over to you.

"Why you're so nonchalant about everybody. It's because you're used to only relying on one person your whole life." He looked at you in awe. You really understood that. "Honestly, it's pretty amazing to look at. I wish I had a life companion like that."

"But don't—"

"Nope, still not gonna talk about that anytime soon. The point is, I get why you weren't concerned about my feelings, and the important thing is that you're thinking about them now...kinda. As long as you're actually sorry then all is good."

He looked away from you and muttered a sorry. You nodded and untied him, standing up to face the others. You let out a sigh and bowed politely. "I sincerely apologize for the unnecessary drama I brought to the club."

You felt a strong hand pull on your arm to lift you back up. You looked up to see Tamaki gently smiling. "Don't think you have to put your head down for us, and stop thinking of yourself as an outlier. We all enjoy your company."

You smiled back, and remembered what your therapist and you talked about. Try to become touchy feely with them. They're all still your friends.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, quietly saying, "Thank you senpai." You pulled back and saw Tamaki as a blushing mess, causing you to quickly yank back. "Sorry! Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have listened to my therapist about being more touchy feely."

"Actually," the twins said as they came to each of your side, back to their flirty selves. "You can do that with us!"

You let out a breathy chuckle. "You guys are so bipolar and I love it." You then walked over the Kyoya. "Are we all still hanging out tomorrow?"

He wrote in his book. "Oh course. Have you decided where we'll go?"

"Yup!" You grinned. "The swap meet!"

"Swap meet?" The twins asked.

"Well, I think you guys call it a flee market here in Japan." You then looked back at the twins. "Call me tomorrow morning so we can pick everyone up and go."

"Roger!" They saluted.

"Wait, y/n," Tamaki said.

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable Tamaki-senpai. I'll be less touchy with you from now on."

"Wait y/n! I did like the hug, I promise!" He sobbed.

You giggled. "You don't have to lie to make me feel better. Well, gotta go. Bye guys!" And with that, you left.

"Mama~"

"Is there a problem Tamaki?" Kyoya slyly smiled.

"What if y/n won't hug me anymore?! Who else would she hug?"

"Hm. Well, she could always come to any of the other host members—"

"Are you saying you would let my little girl hug you and smother you with love?!" He barked.

"Hm, if it helps her, then I suppose." Everybody else left Tamaki crying in the music room.

---

Author's Note: Well, I don't know about you guys but this chapter felt like hot garbage to me.

---

Tag List: @krustykrabbspizza @animefan7420 @strangerthingsholland @the-dead-fucking-sea @blue-eyez-7 @i-bitch-you-bitch @sylumsart

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woomy-in-pain · 4 years

Text

Hypmic First Impressions

Sorry I'm late to the party, I heard we were talking about rap and Idols so now I'm here to simp. Also, it's my first time about Hypmic so don't take seriously what my dumb ass is writing, I just clearly wrote the first thing which came in my no thoughts-head empty mind www

Ikebukuro Division: Buster Bros

I have no idea who they really are but I stan them cuz HHHH HETEROCHROMIA

Yamada Ichiro

He looooow-key looks like a shonen protagonist

He thinks he's cool and mature while the only things he does is being arrogant

Only has one braincell and everyone has enough of him god SHUT UP

But for some reason I still imagine him being a flirt and a low-key popular one

He reminded me at first of Ace Trappola from Twst and I have no idea why.

A dork. And he has two (2) ahoges so ofc he's twice dumber

I not so low-key wanna sit on his lap and call him sexy o///o

Yamada Jiro

No offense but I kinda want to punch his face-

Pretty popular among both girls and boys, he got a whole fanclub all around

He's the bitchy one that thinks he's better than anyone. Would let you take a selfie with him before telling you he's too good for you haha thank you next

But he still has some braincells so he knows when to stop

He's a jock who plays basketball or something, fight me on this

His hair looks rlly cool tbh

Yamada Saburo

*GAAAASP*

A BABY

HE CUTE

IDK PROTECC HIM ????

His hair looks all mofu mofu hhhhhhh

This apart, I honestly think he's an actual demon inside

Mock him for his cute baby face and he's already planning 7 different ways to murder you

Knows how to kick your ass and isn't afraid to show you how

Yokohama Division: Mad Trigger Crew

They kinda make me think to TRIGGER from iDOLISH7 and no, it's not because of the name.

Aohitsugi Samatoki

He's hot and I can feel a good part of the Fandom simping for him am I wrong

I understand why ngl

He looks ready to murder you with his dead stare

BUT !! Do not fear my child !!!

He has the ．☆．。．:*･°𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕣°･*:．。．☆．

Sweet honey, there's even two of them ????

I'm sure he looks all intimadating cuz otherwise nobody would take him seriously

But is he a bigger dork than Ichiro ??? That is the question.

Aruma Juto

?????????????

Is that Lucifer and Sebastian's child ???

He iridiates mafioso vibes so much, I won't trust him with my life

He almost looks too strict for me to imagine him being in a rap battle

Didn't want to spoil myself but it seems that group has something to do with Yakuzas and shit

So now I'm nothing but w h e e z i n g about imagining Yakuzas settling accounts with rap battles

But it's also kinda hot too aight o///o

I'm sure that guy must secretly have some bdsm kink, idk I just feel it

Busujima Manson Rio

I don't know who you are but I'm already in love with you, just telling

Seriously ur so hot ughhhhh

I *do* get some Kentin vibes from My Candy Love and I'm totally gonna ignore that

He's a sweetheart <3

But he can still kick ur ass and burry you in ur shits.

Even if I ask him to bite me like he does with that medal, he won't do it cuz he's too pure and a good boi

Please protecc him

Shibuya Division: Fling Posse

It looks so colorful and pop, those guy will fight you with the power of moe and cute emojis before crushing you with their bare hands.

Amemura Ramuda

:o !!!

YOU'RE SO CUTE OMGGG

Seriously, I stan his aesthetics and his color scheme

He is Minaduki Rui's long lost twin, except he is the one who has inherited all the cute pop, colorful, cheerful genes

His smile can save the world, trust me on this one

I !!! Want !!! To !!! Caress !!! His !!! Hair !!!

He is a ball of sunshine

Surprisingly v smart ? Don't underestimate him or he'll beat you to death with the most beautiful smile ever <3

Yumeno Gentaro

Ohhhh it's the guy Saito Soma voices

He has a pretty face owo

When I look at his outfit, I absolutely can't imagine him rapping tbh

I'm sure he's actually a huge dramaqueen with an unique sense of beauty coming from the depths of space idk

He's not like the other girls so he chose a v old phone as his mic and he looks RAVISHING with it

Arisugawa Dice

He looks like some sort of gangsta

But like, a STYLISH gangsta

He makes the radio he's holding look so light when I know it would crush my shoulder :')

He's the cool one

He looks like the hot-blooded type who'd start fights as soon as you say he looks like shit

Lemme steal your coat sir-

His hair rlly looks soft… o///o but not as much as Ramuda's gomen

Shinjuku Division: Matenrō

I feel like this is the overly cheated group everyone looks up to and wants to beat up. Maybe some sort of veterans ???

Jinguji Jakurai

Those silky long hair !!!! :ooo

You look v fine sir

He has a mafia boss vibe

The type to always be quiet and deep in his thoughts. He's a mystery for everyone.

Have existential and philosophical questionings

"Why must this world be full of pain and suffuring ?" "I wish a world where everyone could be happy"… or something.

He honestly looks too soft for me to be evil, idk

Izanami Hifumi

Ohhhhhh

He's hot :o

I'm sure he's a womanizer tho

I mean, he's winking and holding a rose, if it isn't the weapons of a womanizer then I'm out

He's sooo flashy, he has fans at every corners

Might be super popular and a womanizer, he doesn't have any intentions of breaking your heart or being a douchebag cuz he's c l e a n

I really like him tbh and I want to burry my face in his hair

Kannonzaka Doppo

Is that Saeran Choi from another dimension ????

Excuse me sir, I think you should go see a therapist

He emanates so much anxiety and self-loath I can't help but feel the need to hug him and protect him

Poor guy must have a rough life, huh

I'm waiting for the day he'll snap and kill everyone

I feel like he would have some sort of sadomasochistic side ???

Nobody wants to be with him but the contrary works too

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letterstoleia · 3 years

Text

Important Lessons Learned from Gabby and Brian

As an author and advocate for survivors of domestic violence, I’ve learned a lot about the predictable patterns of unhealthy relationships. After years of personal experiences, research, and outreach, I’ve learned to recognize the tell-tale signs of abuse. I am not a licensed therapist, social worker, police officer, or minister. So please understand I shared my thoughts as 3 a.m. musings. When a few people asked me to make the post public, I agreed, reluctantly. I had no idea this message would resonate with so many people. I've worked back through the original post to explain a bit better how I'm feeling. I realize not everyone will agree with me, and I respect all opinions and views. All I ask is that we engage in respectful discourse on all sides. Thank you all.

In recent days, the tragic events involving Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie have given us a lot to learn. This case is still under investigation, and I can only make assumptions based on the textbook patterns of abuse I’ve witnessed too many times to count. I also recognize that multiple families are grieving, and I have tremendous empathy for everyone involved. However, many survivors will resonate with at least some of the following insights, and I’m hoping we can use this tragedy to shift the way we as a culture approach the complicated issue of domestic abuse.

Let’s examine 30 important lessons this couple teaches us:

1. Followers on social media saw a smiling, happy couple, full of love and wanderlust, setting out for a cross-country adventure while documenting all the joys of young life. In many cases, targets become very good at smiling through the pain.

2. When the public was shown body camera footage captured by Moab City Police officer Daniel Robbins, (who pulled Laundrie and Petito over after the 911 call on August 12), some viewers assumed Petito was suffering from mental illness and Laundrie, while nervous, was the steadier of the two.

3. Other viewers assumed both partners were equally at fault—the old “it takes two” myth that doesn’t really apply to most abusive situations.

4. Some people even assumed Petito was the abuser and Laundrie was the victim.

5. These three assumptions probably crossed everyone’s mind as a possibility (they did mine). Healthy minded people tend to give others the benefit of the doubt, especially when someone is being accused of a negative act. Also, we can all understand that mental illness is a difficult situation and can tax even the kindest most gentle of souls (and the people who love them). Unfortunately, in many cases, this thought pattern leads us to assume the victim is mentally ill or that the victim is to blame for an altercation.

6. “Victim blaming” can happen even in the worst cases of abuse because we don’t see the longitudinal story unfolding. What we don’t see is that the target has managed to keep things together until she reached her threshold, at which time we may see her crying, yelling, or breaking down emotionally. By exhibiting those behaviors, many might assume the target is “crazy,” and it’s natural for us to feel as if the more stable person is more trustworthy.

7. If we listen carefully to Laundrie’s conversation with the officers, he even laughs and says, “She’s crazy.” (17.09) Then he dismisses it as a joke. Of course, he’s already put this claim in the officers’ minds (and by the nonchalant way he says it, many might assume it’s not the first time he’s said these words.)

8. So while viewers (and officers) start wondering if perhaps the target is “crazy,” the abuser plays the part of the poor, patient partner who has to deal with this irrational person. In the video, Laundrie mentions Petito’s anxiety and her OCD, painting her as an unstable partner. (Please note: I’m not at all justifying any physical violence against either party. No one should intentionally harm any other person. Period.)

9. A typical abuser would be skilled at convincing people that he’s innocent, while in fact he’s been acting very differently behind closed doors, pushing his target to this point intentionally and feeding on her emotional break. Many abusers LOVE to see evidence that they’ve hurt their target. They LOVE to see their target in pain. For this reason, “breaking” the target is usually the goal from the start. In cases of abuse, it may take an abuser hours, weeks, months, or even years to break the target, but he won’t stop until he gets that reaction, and then he’ll point the finger and say, “See? She’s crazy. I’m just trying to keep her calm.” And then he’ll do it again. And again. And again.

10. As a result, some people will buy into that false narrative. Even the target can be brainwashed to doubt her own truth. Which may be one reason we see Petito making many excuses for Laundrie’s behavior and taking the blame for everything.

11. In contrast, we see Laundrie blaming Petito, insisting he never hit her and saying he was just trying to keep her calm. He’s charming. He comes across as the loving and loyal partner. He’s joking around with the officers and even gives one a fist bump in the end. All the while, his fiancée is at risk of being charged with domestic assault and possibly spending the night in jail.

12. Later, we’ll hear the 911 recording that (it seems) the responding officers were not fully informed of at the time: “I’d like to report a domestic dispute.” The 49 second audio recording continues as the caller says, “The gentleman was slapping the girl.” When the dispatcher asks him to confirm that the man was slapping the girl, the caller responds, “Yes, and then we stopped, they ran up and down the sidewalk, he proceeded to hit her, hopped in the car, and they drove off.”

13. But long before the 911 call was made public, many survivors could already see through the spin playing out on the video footage. They easily recognized the “red flags” because these cycles become the norm for victims of long-standing abuse. Many targets eventually become conditioned to believe everything the abuser does is her fault. Covering for the abuser, accepting all the blame, trying harder to make the abuser happy—this warped reality becomes the only truth a target knows.

14. Also, it seems clear that Petito doesn’t want her fiancé to be in any trouble. She’d rather pay the price and protect the man she loves. And because she probably believes he only acted this way because of her mood/behaviors/anxiety/OCD/job, she doesn’t want him to be blamed. This is also the norm in abusive relationships.

15. Many experienced and well-trained officers see right through this typical pattern. Others buy the cover-up story. And, sadly, because some officers are also abusers, some side with the abuser even when they know exactly what’s going on. Throughout the video, we get the sense that Officer Robbins senses there’s more to the story.

16. I credit the police in Petito’s situation, especially Officer Robbins. The four responding officers (two of whom were park rangers) remained calm, they separated the couple, they interviewed them individually, they split them up for the night, they consulted the domestic violence shelter … many would say they did everything right considering the information they had at the time.

17. I imagine the officers involved may be suffering from tremendous guilt and wondering if they could have prevented Petito’s death, but I want to give credit to the officers in this case. While it’s easy to look back and say maybe they should have handled things differently, knowing what we now know, I was impressed with how well they treated both Laundrie and Petito (and, sadly, I was thinking how rare it is to see that level of respect and professionalism in most cases of domestic violence, particularly in the South where I’ve been most involved with survivors’ stories.)

18. After Petito was reported missing, many people expressed shock in response to the Laundrie family’s refusal to cooperate early in the investigation. Petito reportedly lived with the Laundrie family for more than a year. Anyone can see that this family will do anything to protect their son, even at the cost of an innocent young woman who was a real part of their family and soon to be their daughter-in-law. While most of us can certainly understand parents wanting to protect their son, most would agree they crossed a moral line when his fiancée went missing.

19. But perhaps it goes deeper than that. Perhaps what we’re seeing is a system of enablers who not only allowed their son to abuse Petito (which may have been a factor in her reported anxiety) but also a system of gaslighters who may have always been shifting the truth to keep Petito confused and make her believe she was the problem.

20. It’s not a far stretch to assume Petito was caught in a system of abuse. And once a target is caught in that psychological web, it’s extremely difficult to see a way out. Reality becomes flipped.

21. It’s also worth noting that Petito and Laundrie had been involved in various levels of a relationship since their teens. This is also commonly observed in dysfunctional partnerships.

22. These immature relationships work beautifully when both partners grow together and mature emotionally. But when one wants to keep the other down, naïve, and under his control … and the other is growing, learning, and maturing … it doesn’t work.

23. We hear Petito tell the officer that Laundrie didn’t think she could succeed with her travel blog (3.25). It seems clear that he didn’t believe in her and that he was trying to make her doubt herself.

24. Throughout the conversation, he implies that he locked her out of the van because she wouldn’t calm down. But when we listen to the full video, it seems he was upset because they’d spent too much time at the coffee shop with her working on her website when he wanted to go hiking. This suggests that because she wasn’t in the van when he was ready to leave, he lost his temper.

25. In the moments that followed, the altercation became physical. Reportedly, Laundrie squeezed Petito’s face with his hand, cut her down verbally, and criticized her.

26. Some would argue that this escalating abuse typically persists until the target reacts emotionally and/or physically. If this case follows the norm, Laundrie may have been trying to break her spirit, intentionally.

27. Why? Again, if this case follows the typical situation, it would likely be because Petito’s focus wasn’t 100% on Laundrie. She had found this new job she enjoyed. She was succeeding at it, and it was allowing her to connect with other people. (Remember, she’d already left her job as a nutritionist to travel around the country with Laundrie.)

28. In a healthy relationship, the new job might be considered a positive opportunity for Petito. Especially considering Laundrie admits they have very little money (not even enough to afford a hotel room to prevent his fiancée from going to jail). But in an unhealthy relationship, the abuser wants the target all to himself. And when that doesn’t happen, he can become increasingly violent.

29. Petito now had this one little piece of her life that Laundrie couldn’t control, so if we’re looking at textbook patterns, perhaps her blog angered him. Perhaps he didn’t like all the attention she was getting on social media. Perhaps he punished her for it. And then a cycle developed. Even though she was doing nothing wrong by building a new career.

30. The next thing we know, we have a missing person, a recovered body, a young man on the run, and several families destroyed. Too much grief to measure. And the truth is, it will happen again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, until we learn to recognize and respond to abusive situations in healthier ways.

The overall takeaway?

When we see someone at her emotional end during a domestic dispute, we shouldn’t assume she’s crazy. We shouldn’t buy into the false narrative given by the abuser. We shouldn’t believe the cover-up story by the target who has been conditioned to carry all the blame and shame. And we shouldn’t assume they’re going to be okay.

Instead, we should all learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. We should learn to recognize the warning signs of abuse. We should engage in respectful, fact-based conversations about trauma bonds, abusive cycles, and emotional intelligence. We should be familiar with terms like gaslighting, hovering, love bombing, enabling, triangulating, and projecting. We should stop blaming targets and help them reclaim their truth. And we should stop repeating the age-old myths that keep targets trapped in these dangerous and all-too-often deadly cycles.

Finally, while I’ve used the most common scenario of male-on-female violence in this article, we should recognize that abuse crosses all barriers and can impact anyone regardless of gender, sexuality, ethnicity, nationality, religious affiliation, age, or socio-economic level. And we should stop assuming these situations will get better in time. Personally, I haven’t heard of one abusive relationship that became healthier. Not one. Not with therapy. Not with church. Not with prayer or forgiveness or complete surrender. When an abuser is determined to destroy his target, he will not stop until that target is erased from this world or stripped from her life. And in many cases, he’ll walk away without any consequences, often taking the target’s finances, home, vehicle, reputation, or even her children with him.

Please don’t let the next statistic be you or someone you love. For support, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline. From a safe phone, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788.

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silver-wield · 4 years

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Hi this is not Cloti related but do you have an analysis on Cloud's relationship with Jessie? Particularly during chapter 4 after the bike mini-game? Cloud looks worried

Sorry this took a while, Nonny, I get a bit done in from life lol

So Cloud and Jessie, the girl who absolutely has no issue throwing herself at our boi. It's pretty good for him because at least he gets used to girls being all over him and helps him make his mind up just who he wants to show attention to #cough# Tifa #cough#

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be smol.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Please check my master post to see if I've already covered your question, thanx

Let's mosey!

Recap time!

Chapter four and our reluctant hero has been roped into help the avalanche trio go topside. Problem is they missed the last train and have to take their bikes instead. Cue a few problems with security and a meeting with the master of extra, Roche. Once that's out of the way, Jessie rewards Cloud depending on your expertise.

This scene has 3 optional endings.

Quick aside, I find it hilarious that Cloud literally tells Jessie to shut up and get off the bike when she starts annoying him during the minigame.

Ok, ending one. The bad ending where Jessie's beyond disappointed with you. These are hard to pick apart because a lot of Cloud's attention is on the road, so the usual microexpressions are even harder to catch.

But look what I caught anyway! Check that brow quirking like “excuse you?” and it's accurate because he says he's a great driver in the next moment. I really love going over these scenes and spotting all these because they build such a clearer picture of Cloud is as a person. And clearly boi doesn't like his driving ability being questioned, especially seeing how Jessie didn't do squat to help him, aside from being annoying lol

Well, Cloud does seem a bit worried here if the frown is anything to go by. I'm guessing it's because this is the bad ending and as much as he's not into Jessie, he doesn't like people having a bad impression of him. He doesn't like the idea that he's not thought of as the big badass capable merc in all ways, so this could well be hints of that self-doubt coming through.

Although, after watching the other two endings, this is the only time we see this typical cycle of expressions he does before concluding something. This is what I like to call a real!Cloud inner debate. Cloud often goes through a lot of quick expressions or his eyes dart around. Since they can’t do that here, we get the former. Judging from the frown at the end, he’s not impressed with his own performance and likely berating himself for not being good enough. Again. Someone call a therapist for Cloud, plz.

And moving onto the second ending, which you get if you did ok on the minigame. These are making me wonder which one's canon. I don't think it's the kiss and actually, it may well be the bad one since that's where we get the most facial expression and close ups from Cloud compared to the others where we see the back of his head or a mid range view.

For this scene we only get one close up of Cloud's face and it's pretty much SOLDIER!Cloud and then the next time he speaks you can't even see his face. This is the kind of thing that hints to me which optional scene is the one we're supposed to be getting for Cloud's narrative story (and that I actually forgot about for my playthrough as Cloud lol I got the middle one because I kinda suck at fighting Roche, but I try).

Yeah, so a lot of sighing from Cloud at Jessie, the annoyed kind. I mean, we know she kinda irritates him, but he likes her too, just not in a romantic way. You also don't see his reaction to her “I might be falling after all” line and only hear him say “hmm?” Then when his face is next in frame it's full on SOLDIER, so there's really nothing to pick apart.

And now the good ending where you get a kiss from Jessie! Ooh lala!!

CLOUD'S FACE HERE! OMG I'M DYING! He's such a boi in a man sometimes! Adorable af! Definitely never even had a kiss on the cheek before in his life and look at the ott reaction to it!

WAIT! Wait! I've seen that face before somewhere!

YES OMG I'M DYING! It's the same reaction as the one to Aerith's best dress! OMG!

I'm sorry, I genuinely need a minute....

Ok, so...looool ok....I can be sensible here....maybe loool erm, the unrealistic expression on Cloud's face shows that it's unlikely this is the outcome that happened. But, on the other hand if the red dress happened then so did this kiss, so choose your poison lol

omg I love the devs for this! I really do! This is hilarious! I can’t even look at these two pics without laughing!

Ok, sensible. Kinda.

And last one where Cloud looks grim af as usual, but with a hint of “what do I do about this?” because Jessie kissed him and he's not interested and he has no clue what to do with women and likely wants to reject her, but still doesn't know what to do with women, so you can see the dilemma he's in lol

It doesn't help when Jessie tries calling him out on it and he has this tiny frown in response. His attention is split between trying to talk to her and driving, so it's no wonder he's not that talkative and abrupt. If I wanted to speculate I'd say if he actually had an interest in her as more than friends he'd have tried harder. He had his little chat with Marle already, so he's not opposed to putting himself out if he wants to. He doesn't here, but he's still trying to concentrate, so that could explain the lack of attention, but still, Jessie kissed him and he got scowly.

Conclusion.

Well, I for one didn't remember there were 3 of these endings – each with their own remix of Jessie's theme, just like another 3 optional scenes with a remixed theme lol the parallels are killing me!

The music for each should also hint at which one is the narrative canon – I'm useless with music analysis so bear with me. The first one does sound like it fits with the other girls' themes, so very simple, easy to listen to in the background and memorable in its way. The second is louder and has more techno notes in, making it seem less like a background piece and more in your face. The last one has vocalists and is a full on pop song! No way is that right lol

For two of the three of these we don't really get much in the way of Cloud's face. It could be put down to him driving, but we get a couple of very good close ups on the bad one with varied expressions, one of which definitely goes towards his personal motivation to be thought of as a hero. Having people point out his faults would cause that kind of reaction.

The second result really doesn't have much in the way of facial expression and Cloud's voice is brisk because he's driving, so I can't really say much about it one way or the other. It’s the one I get the most when I’m playing and it’s kinda blah. Like your standard minigame pass screen. That probably didn’t help.

The last one is hilarious! That's such an exaggerated expression! Do people really believe Cloud pulls that kind of pikachu face on the regular?! I legit needed to stop because I couldn't stop laughing! That's not Cloud or real!Cloud, that's just bloody funny! Also, Cloud doesn't seem too impressed by the result if that last minute frown is any indication. He doesn't want Jessie kissing him, even though it's probably the first time any girl has kissed him – poor sweet summer child lol

If I had to make a guess at the narrative canon I'd say number one, because we know for a fact that Cloud hasn't been driving for years. Boi gets motion sickness ffs! And when did he ever drive a motorcycle? I'd definitely buy that being one of the first times he's ever driven, which would explain why he did so poorly and why he has multiple varied expressions in that result.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #Clessie #Cloud strife #Jessie raspberry #Chapter 4 bike analysis #omg that face tho #I died

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dopescotlandwarrior · 4 years

Text

Bluegrass-Chapter Twelve

A special thanks to @statell for all your help and wisdom

Previous chapter on AO3

Chapter Twelve (NSFW)

Claire and a smiling Jason walked briskly to Jamie waiting in Isobel’s Cadillac. Since the car was in both of their names Jamie used it for such excursions. Jamie looked at the two of them, so young, with bright happy faces. He wondered why he felt so old. They piled into the car after Jason threw his duffle bag in the trunk. Jason shook Jamie’s hand with enthusiasm and thanks.

“Is that all ye have for luggage then?”

“Yep, I don’t own a lot of clothes.”

“How old are ye Jason?”

“I’m nineteen. Please tell me that makes no difference in me working for you. I can’t wait to see Runner again.”

“Nah, just curious.”

On the way to the compound, Jason asked a dozen questions about Runner's health. He was also curious about the races that had occurred since they were in New York. When he heard about his wins, Jason almost exploded with happiness. He had looked up the race results for the second race in New York and knew about the disqualification at Saratoga. Jamie was impressed and felt relieved he had hired him. They still had no clue where to put him when they were home in Kentucky, but Jamie had some ideas.

Jason was anxious to see the colt, and when he came around the corner, Runner whinnied deep in his throat coming to the front of the stall to taste his friend. Jason walked into the stall and scratched his face until he was holding the full weight of his head as he fell asleep.

Claire came in and put her hands on Runner’s face, rousing him from sleep. She saw images of Runner and Jason together and it melted her heart he was so happy. She gave Jason the grand tour and tried to make excuses for the vault-like security stalls for the colt and Porcelain Love. Jason had a hand stroking both horses making Claire laugh at his horse charisma.

“I have a meeting with Jamie, so I’ll be back in twenty minutes or so. Jason had arms around both necks and said a muffled “okay.”

After a long kiss, Jamie finally let Claire go and asked where they should house Jason while they were in Kentucky.

“I am tryin to exploit our current circumstances lass and find a way to keep ye with me at home.”

Claire laughed and thanked him for the honesty.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Give the lad the Cadillac to use and have him bunk at yer place. Do ye think Molly would mind?”

“Jamie! Yes, I think Molly would mind and if she didn’t, those girls would shred every nerve Jason has. Not to mention it is highly inappropriate.”

“So, it’s my couch then. Very uncomfortable it is, but, I’m sure a massage therapist can work on the lumps and bumps he gets from sleepin on it.”

“Is it really so terrible?”

Jamie gave her a pathetic look and nodded his head. “Poor lad.”

“Well, I suppose I can ask Molly.”

“Why not ask her. She might be open to the idea. Can ye call her now so I can start fantasizing about having ye in my bed every night?”

“Okay, I’ll call her now,” she said laughing.

Molly was happy to help and share Claire’s home with Jason. She had never paid any of the rent and Claire refused whenever she asked. It was the least she could do.

Claire walked into Jamie’s office and kissed him with lusty eyes. “You have a new roommate for the next two months. Get ready to be tripping over girl stuff.”

He grabbed her before she could walk out the door and pulled her to him for a mind-bending kiss.

Her eyes were smoking now, and Jamie felt too weak to let her go.

“I need to guide Jason to my house. Do you have the Cadillac key?”

When Claire walked into Runner’s wing, she smelled the liniment Jason was using to rub big muscles. Runner had his head in the air and mouth curling back with the look of pure delight. Claire laughed and complimented Jason on transporting the colt to his private heaven.

“Hey Claire, it looks like Porcelain Love is needing attention too. Is it cool if I treat her also?”

“You are like a breath of fresh air Jason. Yes of course. She has had a tough go of it lately and could use the love. We talked about where you should bunk while we’re in Kentucky. If you don’t mind the forty -minute drive each way, my roommate Molly would be thrilled to have you. I can stay with Jamie and he is thrilled to have me. Can you find some comfort with the idea?”

“Well, I thought I would be sleeping in the barn. If Jamie doesn’t mind me using the car then I am thrilled too. Is Michael still here with you guys, I haven’t seen him.”

“Yes, Michael is still here. He’s out looking for an apartment today, but you will see him tomorrow. He’s taken on two more horses so he’s much busier these days, but he will be traveling with us and working exclusively with Runner. How much longer before you can leave?”

“Ten more minutes and this big guy is done.”

Claire pulled Runner’s saddle from the tree and suddenly stopped mid-stride remembering tack was the responsibility of the groom. She smiled wickedly and went to visit Jamie instead.

She straddled his lap for a dozen kisses that started on his face and went below his collar. He pulled her up to his mouth and asked for her tongue which was instantly sucked into his mouth with a groan. The kissing intensified until they were panting when someone knocked on the door. Claire launched herself off Jamie’s lap, blushing furiously while Jamie laughed. I don’t think that blush is goin any time soon Sassenach, so ye might as well open the door. He was finding it hard to stop chuckling at her.

“Ready Jason?”

Before she was out the door, she saw the lights go off in Jamie’s office and he was suddenly behind her.

“I’ll be goin with ye mo chridhe to make sure ye bring everything ye need.”

Claire called Molly in between teasing Jamie with a tongue in his ear or in his mouth or down his unbuttoned chest, to say they were coming. Jamie suggested hell to pay from her wandering hands and finally grabbed them both in one hand and held them still, until they were pulling in front of the steps to her home. Jason was happy and talkative right up to the top of the stairs when he fell silent. He stared at the scene below with an open mouth and wide eyes. The expanse of bluegrass, as far as the eye could see, had stolen his ability to talk, so he just stared.

“It had the same effect on me.”

Molly’s voice was reverent and honest speaking to Jason.

“I may never come in, well maybe when I can’t see it anymore. I’ve never been out of New York and this is something I could never imagine. I’m Jason by the way.”

Molly shook his hand and told him to come in when it was dark or he got cold. She helped Claire gather her clothes, toiletries, extra boots, her silks, and helmets. Jamie stood like a human tree as they draped it all on his arms until he said uncle. Jason reached for his own armload thinking Jamie would never make it down the stairs no matter how big he was.

Claire kissed Molly and quietly told her to lock her bedroom door until she felt comfortable with Jason and to call her anytime. Jason was still stuck on the view making Claire’s heart hurt at his expression.

After twenty minutes on the road, Jamie reminded Claire he wasn’t holding her hands anymore. Claire pretended to yawn and told him she was no longer in the mood, creeping up to sit closer to him and feigning sleep on his shoulder.

“Mo chridhe, how can ye be so tired? We were on a different level not twenty minutes ago.”

“What?”

Claire smiled with mischief and leaned into his neck, running her tongue from his collar bone to his ear and then kissing him down his neck.

“Do you mean this kind of mood?”

“Aye.”

“What would happen if I put my mouth right here?” She touched his erection through his jeans and noticed the color change in his face.

“I wouldna mind Sassenach.”

“You poor baby. Your burr comes back whenever you’re stressed so I must be stressing you out. I’m sorry love.”

“I’m no stressed out Sassenach, put yer wee mouth on me!”

Claire put her mouth over the lump in his jeans and played with it. She unbuttoned her shirt and took it off, then her bra. Jamie’s eyes were as big as saucers and his dick doubled in size. When she put her mouth on him again, he watched with fascination. When Claire felt the truck drop onto the access road to Jamie’s house, she casually put her shirt back on without the bra which she stuffed into one of the bags in the back seat.

“I need you right now, Jamie.”

He jumped out of the truck and ran around to her side. The second her feet touched the ground he grabbed her hand and ran for the front door kissing her face everywhere he could reach as they crashed through on the way to his bedroom. Jaime was pulling her clothes off in record time along with his own. When they were both naked, she felt the enormous erection dig into her stomach while he filled her mouth with his tongue. It was fast, furious, and mind-blowing. Leaving two panting, sweating, participants in the game of tease.

Runner was on an early morning training schedule that started with a warm-up at five-thirty in the morning when the air was nippy and crisp. They had three days before they left for Florida and Michael wanted to make the most out of those days. He was used to Claire being fifteen to twenty minutes late as she fought traffic on the forty-minute ride. He would help by getting Runner brushed and ready for tack. When he came around the corner, he smelled the delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee and heard Jason talking to Runner about being handsome.

Claire almost ran him down bringing cups and napkins to the new coffee pot in Runner’s wing. It was all so civilized Michael almost cried. He held a hot coffee in front of his nose and smiled. Runner was already tacked up and Claire was walking him to the field. Michael grabbed his clipboard and zipped up his jacket wondering how Claire got here so early today.

As the sun climbed up into the sky Michael was shielding his eyes as he watched Runner. Jason saw this and ran back to the barn for his sunglasses and another hot coffee before running back to clean out Runner’s stall and replace what he removed with fresh woodchips and straw. He scrubbed out the water buckets for the two horses and moved Porcelain to an empty stall on the aisle so he could clean hers as well.

Jason waited on the rail for Runner to cool down after an hour of breezing, then took him from Claire. He pulled his tack off and snapped a lead to him noticing Runner hesitate. Jason smiled at him and scratched his face.

“You will be having your bath inside today Runner, it’s too cold outside now.”

Even inside the barn where it was warm, the water was quite cold, so it was a quick bath that left Jason sweating from the effort. He scraped the water off quickly and covered the colt with a thick blanket before walking him into the pasture to eat grass and dry off. Before he got to the outside door, he went back to lead both Runner and Porcelain outside. Most people would not risk leading a racehorse with a second horse, but Jason had the gift of knowing the horses he tended. Runner was sweet on Porcelain so he would be a gentleman, and he was.

Jamie and Claire came out to take the horses and Jason went on to clean Runner’s tack. It was shining when he was done, and he flicked the light off in the tack room and closed the door.

Mid-afternoon Claire pulled a blood sample, checked Runner’s legs and floated his teeth. Jason was a great stabilizer when the colt started to complain with bad behavior. Jason rubbed his muscles when Claire had the enormous file in his mouth rubbing the teeth with it. She looked at Jason’s efforts with gratitude.

After the afternoon training, Runner was put into his clean stall and hardly looked at Porcelain before he was snoring. Porcelain laid in her own fresh straw and didn’t mind a bit. Claire had been in the compound all day and wanted a shower desperately. She felt strange about asking Jamie for a key so she could get clean and make something for dinner. She sat on a bench along the long aisle and read until she heard Jamie calling to her.

“Sassenach, what are doin?��

She looked up and smiled. Jamie could see the fatigue around her eyes and figured out she was uncomfortable going to the house alone. Jamie fished in his pocket and pulled out a very feminine key chain with a horse that looked a bit like Runner and handed it to her.

“I got ye this key chain and the key to the house but forgot to give it ye. I’m sorry lass, I don’t know where my head is today.”

He pulled her up and hugged her saying he was sorry, and he wanted her to go home this instant. He walked her out to her truck with one more kiss and then sent her home.

Claire entered the house noticing Michael’s car was gone and she was alone. She pulled her boots off and left them outside so she could explore in her stocking feet. The house was bigger and more beautiful as she went deeper in. Jamie had done an exceptional job with the angles and wood beams that drew the eyes up to the ceiling thirty feet above her head. She was in an expansive living room with couches and chairs for a comfortable place to entertain. Along one wall two chairs flanked a small table with a chess set ready to play. A large fireplace that went to the floor was the focal point of the large room. Black Walnut was shaped around the firebox, sculpted and finished with a high mantel. It was breathtaking and Claire could imagine stockings hung there that welcomed Christmas.

She continued through the room to the gourmet kitchen that made her heart pound. A giant hood provided for grilling inside and double ovens for those large Thanksgiving gatherings. Everywhere she looked made a statement. Leaving the kitchen, she saw a second staircase that was also made of Black Walnut steps and banister leading to a loft. She was spellbound by the loft that held the modern furniture that was so Jamie. The ceiling was a work of art all on its own. Against the white glaze of the ceiling, he had fashioned the sun with the same Black Walnut with a disc in one corner and long straight boards that went the length of the upstairs for rays. She felt her eyes burn looking at it like she was seeing a side of Jamie she never would have guessed. She followed through the loft and found Jamie’s bedroom and two additional bedrooms upstairs.

His bedroom was moderately sized. Plenty of room for two people to co-exist in comfort along with the huge bathroom. Claire opened the French doors to the sundeck and her breath caught at the large flat outdoor room. She was suddenly overcome and left the house to walk back to the compound. She needed to walk, and she needed to wrap her arms around what seemed like a different man. She didn’t know what she expected but the craftsmanship and thought that created the house blew her away. Jamie slammed on his breaks when he saw Claire walking. He slipped it in neutral and jumped out to hug her.

“What’s happened, sweetheart?”

“You. You are a master of design and architecture. I love your house and want to hear all about how you did it, what was your inspiration, where you found the materials. Everything, I want to know all of it.”

He kissed her and walked her to his warm truck and drove home where he would spend the evening with someone who truly appreciated his fine custom work. He shook his head thinking he would wake up any second or explode from happiness.

Jamie was reading a text message while they walked into the house from the garage.

“Michael got lucky. He found a place he loves ten minutes from here. He spent half the day ordering furniture and now he’s locked in his new place puttin his bed together. Do you know what that means Sassenach?”

“We’re alone to fend for ourselves?’

“Yep.”

Claire wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. “I think I’m in the mood for a hot shower and sleep. This five o’clock training is killing me. Do you want me to make you something to eat?”

“That big ass refrigerator is dead empty, no, there’s two sticks of butter and an orange. Sorry, Sassenach, I’m no much for cookin but I have quite a selection of frozen dinners. Are ye hungry?”

When he looked at her fatigue, he was suddenly worried about this slip of a girl.

“You go upstairs and get under the hot water; I’ll bring yer stuff in from yer truck and maybe a treat if yer in bed when I get up there. Take yer time mo chridhe, I usually eat two dinners.”

Claire felt like she was sleepwalking from the kitchen to the shower to the bed. She noticed Jamie come in and out, hanging her clothes and dropping her bags. She could not keep her eyes open until a hot mug of aromatic hot cocoa was passed to her open hands. Her mouth watered at the smell and she took big sips because it was so good. Jamie put a teaspoon of chocolate liqueur in it and caught the mug as it fell out of her hands, empty.

When he slipped into bed, he pulled her close. Claire was unhappy about something sounding frustrated pulling at her robe.

“Off, it won’t come off.”

Jamie pulled the robe from her and spooned her with his warm body. They drifted on the wings of sleep until morning, more content than either had been before. When Jamie woke up he was alone, Claire was in the saddle already galloping around the track while Michael timed her. Jason thought to bring him a coffee.

Jamie bumped into Angus and Rupert on their way into the compound and they talked for a while before work started for them all. Jamie could not believe how much his life had changed in the short few days since Isobel and her murderous friends were arrested. He knew he was living the best life right now and he should take care of that.

During the midday break Claire ran to the grocery store for steaks, vegetables, and new potatoes to roast, she also purchased crab meat and the other ingredients for a hot crab spread and crackers. They would all be in Florida in a few days and her thoughts would turn to winning the Gulfstream Stakes. She would spoil Jamie while she had the opportunity.

When Jamie came home, she sent him to the shower and handed him a whisky. He slammed it looking like heaven just slid down his throat. He turned to look at his favorite person in leggings and a big sweater. He wanted to get back to her as soon as possible.

Claire knew she could grill everything right in the kitchen but checked outside in case there was a gas grill. She searched for a light switch and opened the French doors to peak outside.

“Christ almighty, Jamie, you never cease to amaze me.” She stepped outside to check out the outdoor kitchen and built-in grill staring out into the darkness wondering what was beyond.

Jamie built a fire and they drank whisky and ate crab on crackers while Claire caught Jamie up on Runner’s training. He watched her mouth and wanted to skip dinner, but his stomach was starting to digest itself.

I went to the tack room to clean my saddle and the thing hung on the tree so shiny I could see my reflection. Jason is a dream. He leaned back and pulled her on top of him kissing her deeply.

“Tell me wee one, what does yer fantasy man look like?”

“I’m going to grill your dinner and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Claire considered the question while Jamie moaned with delight between bites. Should she be brave and tell him? When Jamie had eaten every bite of food and the leftovers on her plate, he sat back with a satisfied grin and looked at her like he was drunk, on food. Jamie put the dishes in the sink and sprayed them with a hot sprayer and then stacked them in the dishwasher.

“Alright lass, tell me about yer perfect fantasy man.”

Claire looked at him with rosy, blushing cheeks and mumbled something under her breath. Jamie wiped his hands and picked her up laying her on the couch. He lowered his body over hers and asked,

“What did ye say, lass?”

“I said he is clean-shaven.”

Jamie looked at her confused and ran his hand across his chin. Claire shook her head side to side and looked at him with courage. He studied her for a few minutes and his eyes went wide as his hand lowered to his crotch. When she nodded yes and giggled, Jamie smiled and considered what she was asking.

“It would be my honor!”

Jamie jumped off the couch and ran upstairs taking two steps at a time. Claire was thrilled at his willingness and cleaned up the rest of the kitchen before getting into bed with a book on her lap.

“It’s a bit nippy at night but I dinna like the heat on. It makes me sweat all night.”

Stress can be from bad news as well as good she reasoned. If Jamie’s bur was back, she hoped it was his excitement over going hairless. She pushed him against the headboard and visually feasted on his naked body. Her face lit up with a huge smile as she sank to his crotch and rubbed her cheek on his smooth skin. He smelled like heaven and she wanted to touch him everywhere.

Jamie watched her with a pounding heart. He finally knew a woman who could voice her preference and he found that so sexy. He pushed back on his arousal as Claire lowered her mouth around him, going slow, alternating between his cock and balls. When he pulled her up she fought him a bit, not ready to stop. He flipped so she was under him, pulling her knees over his shoulders. She opened like a flower letting him taste her deep inside and her small bud that sent her arousal into a new stratosphere.

Claire’s legs slammed open and she pulled his head to her telling him to make her come. Jamie obliged her and then chased her into the erotic storm. They clung to each other as they surrendered to sleep.

“I love you, Jamie,” was whispered in the dark.

“I’ll be expectin ye to return the favor, lass.”

His voice was deep and sleepy in her ear, making her giggle.

“Anything for you, love.”

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marshmallowgoop · 5 years

Text

On Ragyo Kiryuin

Please note: This post will contain discussions of sexual assault and abuse.

I am not good at talking about Ragyo Kiryuin.

Every time I do, I mess it up. I don’t emphasize her atrocities enough. I emphasize her atrocities too much. I cause trouble for myself and others, and I always end up feeling awful.

My recent writing on Ragyo’s character—found here and here—proved no different. The reception for the first post was so overwhelmingly negative that it spurred on my first-ever legitimate anon hate, and the second post only made things worse. Even now, my inbox is being filled with dismissive, rude, heartbreaking messages that bring me to tears, and though my therapist has told me not to say that I hate myself anymore, it’s difficult not to in situations like these. I hate that my wording was so poor and that I stated my opinion so badly that I incited all this rage and aggression in someone (or someones, a thought that scares me more than I would like to admit).

It may be a mistake to try to explain myself further. But I hurt people with what I said, and that bothers me. I hurt people because I struggle to explain my feelings on a cartoon character well, and I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed. I want to at least put in the effort to be kinder, more nuanced, and more sympathetic.

And maybe it’ll all blow up in my face. But I don’t want to not try.

So. Ragyo Kiryuin. Mother of Satsuki Kiryuin and Ryuko Matoi, CEO of REVOCS, and the ultimate Big Bad of Kill la Kill. Love her, hate her, or love her and hate her, she’s certainly made an impression in the anime-viewing world. And though I can’t speak for anyone else’s impression, my personal impression is... mixed.

Let’s go through this bit by bit.

A Good Villain?

Though I don’t see it much anymore, I remember lots of comparisons between Ragyo and the villains of Saturday morning cartoons back in the day. She was described as a generic, two-dimensional “evilz for the sake of evilz” baddie and criticized for her simplicity.

And though I did admittedly agree to an extent—I craved a lot more depth and insight, particularly in regards to her haunting line about “still having something of a human heart” whilst brutally attacking her own daughter in the final episode—I also found Ragyo to be a remarkably compelling, powerful, and horrifying villain even without tons of backstory and explanation. Perhaps my write-up on her first scene in episode 6 best details why; this woman has such a presence, and the visual language of the series amplifies that presence spectacularly. Ragyo’s intimidating and scary without the audience even needing to know anything about her.

And... I’d say that’s a good villain. That’s exactly what a villain should do.

Why Does This Matter, Goop?

I know, I know. My talking about Ragyo’s efficiency as a villain probably doesn’t seem all that relevant to the stuff that egged on an anon hate assault. But I think it’s important to mention that I do believe that Ragyo is a great, powerful villain. My previous posts were so bleak and cynical that I didn’t make this point clear. It does, in retrospect, seem as though I am crapping all over the character and subtly dissing anyone who enjoys her. I’m sorry for that, and I want to stress that that was not at all my intention.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving villains—even when they’re morally bankrupt, atrocious people like Ragyo—because loving villains, of course, doesn’t automatically mean that you excuse or endorse their actions. Villains like Ragyo also leave such a strong impression on the viewers, and personally, I’ve been so captivated by this awful woman that my first attempt at my years-in-the-making Kill la Kill fairytale AU featured about a 30,000-word backstory for her. There is a lot to respect, love, and love to hate when it comes to Ragyo and how she’s written, and I never, ever mean to discount that.

However, as with all things, it’s possible to love a piece of fiction or a character or what have you and also recognize that there are problems in the portrayal. And when it comes to Ragyo, as much as I think she’s a fantastic, engaging, terrifying villain, I do take issue with her depiction.

The Sexuality Point

I got a lot of heat for my ideas regarding Ragyo’s sexuality, and I admit: I didn’t express myself well. There was a lot more I should have said and elaborated upon. Maybe I’ll still fail spectacularly, but as I said before, I don’t want to not try.

So first, I want to take a moment to discuss intentionality. While I absolutely value Author is Dead and respect fan interpretations of any work, I also recognize that narrative decisions in fiction don’t happen in a vacuum. The fact of the matter is, Ragyo was originally designed as a father but was later changed to a mother so the relationships Ragyo shares with her daughters wouldn’t seem so “murky,” “gross,” and “perverted.”

And... that disturbs me. The idea, as I see it, is that a father abusing his daughters is, more than appropriately, disgusting, but a mother abusing her daughters is somehow less bad. In fact, writer Kazuki Nakashima outright states that he didn’t want to explore the “murkiness” of these relationships, noting that he “didn’t want to mix [that] ‘murkiness’ into the battle.” My impression—which I understand might very well be wrong—is that there’s the feeling that female-on-female abuse just isn’t as serious or life changing as male-on-female abuse. There’s the feeling that you can just not talk about how devastating this sexual assault is, and that’s totally okay, because the perpetrator is a woman.

I’ve written previously—and perhaps most overtly here—that female-on-female abuse seems to get brushed off way more than it should be. It’s cute when a girl grabs another girl’s boobs, even when that other girl is noticeably and visibly unhappy. It’s adorable when a girl forces a kiss on another girl. Charming. Sweet. If you have a problem with it, you’re a homophobe.

And I think that’s so, so damaging. I wish I had some statistics (oh anon hounding me about facts, if you’re here), but I recall reading about how this mindset—this idea that girls just can’t hurt other girls—ends up keeping wlw in abusive, toxic relationships. And that’s not even mentioning how the notion that women are harmless and can’t do damage is a totally sexist one that hurts men and other genders, too!

With Ragyo, I actually think there’s a lot of powerful potential. Kill la Kill could have shown that there’s nothing sweet or cute or charming or sexy about female-on-female abuse. It could have shown that a mother sexually abusing her daughters is just as horrific as a father sexually abusing his daughters. Both good representation and bad representation are important, and I do see the value in an evil, awful lesbian; as noted above, the idea that girls can’t hurt other girls, that wlw can’t be bad, and that only men can cause harm is a dangerous mindset to have. I think it’s important to address it, particularly in anime, which attracts younger viewers.

In the past, I argued that Kill la Kill did address it. I wrote, “These scenes [depicting Ragyo’s abuses] are full of what may be typically used as fanservice—female nudity, fondling, touching—but they’re all incredibly disturbing, uncomfortable, painful, and tragic. The series makes no joke about just how violating these instances are.” I’ve seen similar arguments made today.

But personally, now knowing more about the creation of Ragyo and being aware of the gushy, “Wow, this is so hot!”-type comments concerning the notorious bath scene in the official Trigger Magazine, I’ve since changed my tune. I think it’s undeniable that there is some “this isn’t so bad and maybe actually kinda sexy” appeal to Ragyo’s abuses, and that’s very, very disappointing to me.

Further, being a survivor, I also find it incredibly hurtful. I’ve been too traumatized to even date ever since what happened to me happened, and to see situations like what I went through depicted in such explicit, detailed, fanservice-y ways... it disturbs me.

I understand that my opinion isn’t going to be shared by everyone, but I’ve come to believe in a “less is more” approach when it comes to these hard, real situations. Implication arguably holds far more power. For example, in all of my college film classes, Osama left one of the strongest impressions. In it, a young girl dresses as a boy to provide for her family. She’s eventually found out when she has her first period, and she’s then married off to a much older man. The ending scene of the film depicts the man washing himself just as the girl, in disguise as a boy, had been taught to do after having sex. Unlike in Kill la Kill, you don’t see the unspeakable scene at all. You know exactly what happened with just that one shot, and that one shot has stuck with me ever since. That’s a powerful, respectful way of portraying these very real, very horrific problems.

I know I cannot speak for every survivor, but I personally disagree with the notion that fiction should not discuss these topics. In my mind, fiction absolutely should because these things are real, because they happen. There could have been so much power in Ragyo’s depiction, in Satsuki’s depiction, in Ryuko’s. But the severity of Ragyo’s abuses is brushed off, and, as I see it, fetishized. That’s what I take issue with—not that there’s a potential evil lesbian, not that there’s a depiction of a mother abusing her daughters, but how this is depicted: not respectfully.

Referring more to my troublesome posts, I also want to address my point of how girls showing affection for other girls is often portrayed negatively in Kill la Kill, which could potentially send the message, “Hey, lesbians just be evilz.” Perhaps more than anything else, this hurt my readers the most. I wasn’t very clear and didn’t speak well, and I apologize.

Maybe surprisingly, I’ve also taken issue with the argument that Ryuko kissing Nui shows that a girl having an attraction towards another girl is bad. As I saw it, the kiss was simply a shocking way of showing that Ryuko is not at all herself; someone kissing the person they hate the most says more than words ever could. The scene isn’t an attack on wlw; the protagonist and the villain in this case just so happen to both be girls.

And I still believe this rebuttal. But I also have mixed feelings, which explains my previous responses. I once more have to question intentionality: if Ryuko were a boy, as shonen heroes so often are, would this scene have happened? Would Nui have been so flirty with him? Would there have been so much screen time and detail put into the kiss? Similar to my arguments about Ragyo, could there have been a potentially much more powerful scene whose power comes from its implications, not what it actually shows?

In all my years in the Kill la Kill fandom, I’ve seen reactions to that scene that find it hot, as “proving” that Ryuko/Nui is the only canon Kill la Kill pairing, and that see it in ways that I find to be unsavory. If the goal of that kiss is to cement the fact that Ryuko isn’t herself in the most shocking way possible, I could argue that it failed for a lot of viewers. In fact, one of my more looked-at posts is about why Ryuko kisses Nui. Its execution is confusing, and yes, I do believe it could potentially send some bad messages about wlw, even if that wasn’t intended.

Which, to bring this discussion back towards Ragyo, I want to take a moment to say that bad messages can be totally unintentional. As a writer myself, I think about potential bad unintentional messages all the time. For instance, in my aforementioned fairytale AU, I had a theme going (’cause it’s a fairytale and all): a healthy, beautiful baby is good, a healthy, ugly baby is bad, and an unhealthy, beautiful baby is good. Notice how there’s only one ugly baby, and they’re bad? I realized that this could subtly say something about ugly people, and I’ve decided to make a point about a heroic character being ugly in order to send the message that anyone can be good or bad, regardless of if they’re beautiful or ugly, healthy or unhealthy.

With Ragyo (and with Nui as well), I don’t at all think the intention is to show that girls loving other girls is wrong and bad. But the depiction, to me, leaves things to be desired. A lot of it feels fetishy, and the fact that Ragyo was purposely changed to a woman for “gross” concerns also greatly irks me.

And before I try to write up a conclusion of sorts, I do want to offer this: what if Ragyo stayed a man, but he was associated with white and rainbows as Ragyo is in the final cut? It was stated at this year’s Anime Expo that director Hiroyuki Imaishi has his heroic characters in black and villainous characters in white, which could possibly send messages like Darkness Isn’t Bad and the real villains are the ones who are perverting the purity, goodness, and so on that are associated with white. In the same way, if Ragyo were a man who seemed straight but had rainbow hair, it could send the message that the real villain is the one perverting this symbol of love and acceptance.

I don’t know. Just some food for thought.

Conclusion

I am bad at talking about Ragyo. I am bad at talking about serious topics. I’m sure this post proves as much.

But I hope I’ve done a better job of explaining my point of view than I did before. But if I didn’t—which, knowing me, is likely—I just want everyone to know that I don’t think you’re a reprehensible person if you like Ragyo. I don’t think Ragyo is “too evil” to be representation. I don’t think she’s some terrible, awful character whom nobody can love. (At least, in regards to the writing. I hope there’s agreement that she’s a terrible, awful person.)

While I have problems with Ragyo’s depiction, I don’t think anyone is horrible and wrong if they don’t and resonate with it. I know I certainly like things that others find horrible and wrong, like the Ryuko/Senketsu pairing that I’ve been attacked left and right for, and I more than recognize and voice my own problems with it whilst still loving what I love (and politely disagreeing with the problems that others see that I don’t!)

I know I’m not good at this. But I hope I’ve conveyed my thoughts respectfully, and that, even if you strongly disagree, you know I welcome and am open to your thoughts and perspective, if you would like to share. That’s why I write these posts at all.

#kill la kill #ragyo kiryuin #analysis #ragyo discourse #ramblings #serious talk #the discourse #abuse mention #i'm sorry if this is awful i just got it confirmed that i do have adhd and hyper-focused on this even though i shouldn't have #and i haven't eaten all day 'cause i've been dying to finish this and i've spent several hours on it and... i'm trying #i'm sorry but i really really am trying

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teachingtales · 4 years

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How To...Lift Weights

Question: Weightlifting- I’m not joking. I was younger, and the local gyms didn’t have trainers.

I think this happens more often than some of us may realize. I don’t know your specific goals, so here’s some general information. To start off with, here’s some terminology:

muscle group - we “chunk” the body up into six major groups when we’re talking about weight lifting: shoulders (also called “delts” for “deltoids”, back, biceps, chest, triceps, legs (including glutes...the butt muscles)

exercise - a specific movement done for a specific muscle group

rep - short for “repetition”, this means one full movement of the exercise from start to finish

set - a grouping of reps, after which you take a short break

rest - a short period where you don’t lift, usually between 30 and 90 seconds, to give your muscles a quick break before you start a new set

spot - spotting someone is when another person stands with you to stop the weight from crashing down. This is most useful with bench press. Your spotter will see that you’re having trouble (or you can just say “grab it”) and they will help you put the bar back safely

I’ve worked as a personal trainer and started lifting since 2004. Here is a recent photo:

1. Figure out your goal.

“I want to make my muscles bigger” isn’t exactly a goal. Be more specific. Are you looking for size, strength, endurance, or improvement in another sport? The goal you choose determines how you lift. In the most generalized terms, use fewer reps per set at a higher weight for gaining size, and more reps per set with a lower weight for endurance. For even better endurance, add in a cardiovascular exercise that works the muscles you’re most concerned with. For example, if you want to build more of your upper body, a good cardio exercise would be rowing or swimming. For all-over benefit, yoga is a great option.

“But can’t I use low or high reps for any set? What does this actually mean?” you might be asking. Low or high reps mean this is your max rep range for any set. Once you hit this maximum number, you add more weight next time. If you’re doing lower reps for more explosive strength, you may set your max reps to 5 per set. That means if you are able to do 5 reps per set during this gym session, you’ll add weight next time you do this exercise at a future gym session. A higher rep range is usually 15, with 8-12 being a more middle-ground rep range that is good for size.

If you have medical issues or a previous injury, please talk to a physical therapist first about how to work out. There may be exercises to avoid.

2. Figure out your split.

A “split” is how you’re going to work out different muscles during different times of the week. Will you work one muscle group each time (for a total of 6 gym sessions per week to work the full body) or will you do two or more muscle groups at a time? This all depends on your goals and your body. For me, I have medical problems so I typically do not work out more than one muscle group at a time.

My training looks like this: biceps, triceps, shoulders, back, chest, legs, rest day. On days that I work more than one muscle group at a time, I typically do complementary muscle groups (”opposite” muscle groups), such as biceps and triceps or back and chest. This is not typical; usually, people do back and biceps or chest and triceps. I don’t like doing this because chest exercises require triceps (and back exercises engage biceps), so I feel I am pre-exhausting myself for the supporting exercises, and therefore can’t push myself as much as I want to. If you are looking to do more endurance training, however, I absolutely would recommend doing back-biceps, chest-triceps, legs-delts.

3. Figure out your exercise options.

You’ll need to figure out how often you’re in the gym during the week, whether you want to work out from home, and which exercises you’d like to do. You’ll also need to familiarize yourself with the exercises prior to doing them. My recommendation for exercises is https://dumbbell-exercises.com/ This is a super simple, no nonsense website, and you can easily see that from the “vintage” 1995 web design. Check out the “Exercises” tab to choose from different muscle groups. If you work out from home, you can use two-liter bottles of water (or a bottle filled with dirt/sand and then add water for more weight) or a backpack filled with books, or a resistance band. The good thing about this site is they have simple animated gifs to show the basic movement. Practice this movement before using any weight.

For the most general use, you’ll want to choose 5 different exercises per muscle group. 2-4 sets per exercise, and the reps per set are what we discussed in point 1.

4. Start slowly.

The 5 different exercises with up to 4 sets per exercise I mentioned in point 3 is what you’ll work up to. Start off with either 5 exercises at 1 set per exercise, or 3 exercises with 2 sets per exercise. Don’t overdo it. While a lot of us love the motivating mental pump from concepts like “Go big or go home”, the reality is that our bodies kind of suck and they need a while to get used to training. This is especially true if you’re like me and have medical problems.

5. You’re in competition with yourself, that’s it.

Another “slow” start is to start with lighter weights than you think you need. While we all fantasize about stacking multiple plates onto a bar and pushing all that weight like it’s nothing, the reality is that reaching that point takes time and dedication. Part of that dedication is consistency in the gym, part of it is eating to fuel your workouts, and part of it is doing the exercise correctly. Yes, you can “lift” a lot more weight if you do the exercise incorrectly...that doesn’t look impressive to anyone in the gym, though. We know that your poor form is the only reason you’re lifting that much weight, meaning you’re not nearly as strong as you think you are.

Plus, you’re not supposed to be impressing us. We’re irrelevant. You should only care about other gym-goers if you need to ask one of them to spot you.

6. Keep a journal and be specific.

How much weight did I do last time I did this exercise? How many reps? Using your workout journal will prevent you from guessing and straining your brain to remember. Your workout journal (which can be physical or digital) should include the following:

date

which muscle groups you’re working out that day

exercise name, weight used, sets, and reps

how you felt that day (for example, I have chronic migraines so if I’m feeling poorly, I write something in there to note that I’m using less weight to compensate for this; that way, I know to use more weight next time)

Your workout journal should be with you during your workout. While you might think you can just do it once you return home, you typically won’t (or won’t remmeber fully). There’s no special journal or app you need. You can use a Notepad app on your phone or a small lined notebook. Special “workout journals” can be purchased but are unnecessarily expensive, so I don’t recommend them.

7. Be consistent.

Of all the tips, this is probably the one most people have issues with. Anyone can easily learn how to lift weights by looking at a few websites, but the real issue is returning to the gym most days. One of the most common fitness/diet questions I’m asked is “How do I stay motivated?”

Short answer: you don’t

Motivation is short-lived. You can feel motivated from time to time, but it’s not nearly enough to sustain the type of day-to-day stuff you need to be doing. Instead of motivation, I recommend logic. Here are my most commonly-used mantras for when I’m not feeling like exercising:

“If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.” It’s simple, but it’s effective.

“I can’t meet my goals if I’m not doing anything to meet my goals.” Similar to the first one, this specific phrasing reminds me that this is my goal, my choice, my ideal. It’s something I personally decided to pursue. This isn’t a chore, this is a decision.

“A bad workout is better than no workout.” I find myself using this more and more because of my migraines. I’m not sure how much you know about migraines, but they’re more than “really bad headaches”. Without getting too much into this neurological disorder, you end up really exhausted and achy. This, of course, doesn’t lend itself to an excellent workout, but it’s better to do a slow, lower-weight workout than it is for me to stay at home.

“Just leave the house now.” If you work out from home, you can change this to “Just start now”. The idea is that we sometimes get sidetracked and make excuses for delaying our workouts, so reminding myself to exercise and get it out of the way is sometimes needed. This is used often when the weather is bad.

If you have specific questions, feel free to ask.

#teacher #teaching #student #students #weight lifting #weight training #exercise #fitness #muscles

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