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#and I’m about to move and start my life over
dilemmaontwolegs · 3 days
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The Perfect Life || CL16 {6}
Summary: After a confusing first night together it is time for the first public appearance with Charles. Warnings: angst, little bit of fluff WC: 2k F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six Taglist: RETIRED Head over to my dedicated library blog @dilemmaslibrary and opt to get notifications from there.
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An awkward silence filled the large space when you cut the engine inside the old factory and let the roller door close behind you. Charles rather elegantly dismounted and let you lock the motorbike up without a word. You had tried not to look at him too much after leaving the club but it was impossible to avoid now that there was nowhere to escape. 
“I’m going to shower,” you muttered. Charles sat at the edge of the bed and watched you walk to the only internal door. The old plumbing creaked as you turned the hot water onto full blast because it never reached any decent temperature above warm. You couldn’t suppress the hiss of pain when the water hit your body, each droplet like shrapnel on your skin.
“Are you okay?” Charles asked through the door.
“Never been better, Charles.”
You stared at a spiderweb that had appeared since your last visit until the water all too soon ran cold. A fluffy towel swamped your body and you relished the softness on your bruises, grateful you had stolen it from your bathroom. When you stepped out of the bathroom you found Charles still sat on the bed but now there were two beers condensating on the wobbly side table.
“Help yourself then,” you murmured as you grabbed a fresh pair of clothes from your backpack. “Look and I will throttle you.”
Charles turned his back as you dropped the towel and pulled your panties up your legs. Bending over sent white hot pain flashing through your ribs and tears burned your eyes when you tried to reach behind your back for the bra strap. Without the adrenaline of the fight everything felt ten times worse.
You jumped when cold fingertips brushed your spine and swiped your hands aside. “Let me.”
“Rumour has it you only know how to take these off,” you said as he clipped your bra into place. 
Charles turned you to face him and his eyes drifted down your body, lingering on the bruise blossoming on your ribs. “Since when have you cared about rumours?”
“I don’t, but your reputation precedes you. And, just so you know, I don’t have any friends for you to move on with after this ruse is up.”
“I don’t believe that,” he chuckled. “I think Alicia is your friend.”
“Alicia is too nice for her own good but she’s still on the payroll. I don’t think it’s friendship when it’s paid for.” You frowned as your stomach dropped as you realised what he had said and took a step back. “Plus, she is happily married so you’re out of luck there.”
Charles took a step to follow and caught your hand. “That’s not what I meant.”
You scoffed. “No?”
“No. You’re not as alone as you think you are. You have people who look out for you, and that’s friendship whether you believe it or not.” You tried not to let the words penetrate the internal walls you had built but they crumbled a little when he carefully embraced you. “You also don’t need to keep fighting, you have control of your future now.”
“It doesn’t feel like it,” you admitted as you looked up under your lashes to meet his eyes.
“Then let me show you.” His palm cradled your cheek and his thumb caressed your jaw as you waited to see what he would do. “You can say no whenever you want. The choice is yours.” His eyes traced the shape of your lips before returning higher and his lips parted as he started to dip his head. “You are in control.”
It could have been the sleep deprivation, the crash of hormones after the fight, or the fact that he was as good looking as any of the models you had seen. But, whatever the reason for your weak resolve, you didn’t say no.
You didn’t say no when his lips brushed softly over yours, tentatively. You didn’t say no when he grew bolder and deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring the curve of your lips. 
“Stop,” you gasped when his hands began to glide down your body. They immediately froze and he pulled back with a deep breath. “I can’t tell if you are fucking with my head, Charles. You make me question everything I know about you.”
“I can only say ‘I’m sorry’ so many ways.”
“So you thought you would try fuck your apology onto me?”
“No,” he laughed. “That was purely self indulgent. Even when I couldn’t stand it I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the room.”
“I’m not having sex with you.”
“I told you, you’re in control,” he said with a nod. 
You returned the nod and jutted your chin to the bed. “I’m a cuddler, don’t read too much into it when you wake up with me invading your personal space. Or, you can take the couch.”
He looked at the ratty couch and shook his head before a grin grew. “I like spooning.”
You pointedly looked at sweatpants and lifted a brow. “Little spoon, I bet.”
Charles smirked and dropped down on the bed, making himself comfortable on your pillow. “Nothing little about it, babe.”
You scrunched up your nose and reached under the pillow for the Prema shirt you slept in but before you could pull it on it was ripped out of your hands. “Hey!”
“You are not going to sleep next to me in my brother’s shirt.”
“There’s not exactly a wardrobe full of options here,” you said as you tried to grab it back.
Charles caught the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head in one smooth movement before tossing it on your shoulder. “There you go.”
“I like that one.”
Charles gripped the fabric and tore the shirt in half as your eyes narrowed. “If we are going to fake this, we are doing it right. My girlfriend won’t be sleeping in another man’s shirt.”
“Fuck you, Leclerc,” you swore. It was better to be swathed in his clothing than half naked in your own, that was the only reason you pulled it on and breathed through your mouth so you didn’t have to inhale the rich cologne that clung to the soft fabric. You couldn’t be blamed for your actions if your hormones liked the smell too much because one thing was certain: when he lay there shirtless you had no control over your filthy thoughts.
You turned out the light and threw yourself down onto the bed with a pained groan that had nothing to do with your ribs. It was difficult but you managed to turn away from the man whose eyes drank in the sight of his shirt on you. 
“Arthur said I wouldn’t recognise you in the ring,” he confessed in the darkness, “but I think that’s the first time I’ve really seen you.”
You didn’t know how to respond when your heart started to beat like a jack rabbit so you settled for a sedate, “Goodnight, Charles.”
The pallets groaned with his shifting as he rolled over and his arm curved low on your waist, missing your ribs. A soft kiss found a place on your heated cheek and he whispered his own, “Goodnight, Y/N.”
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“You’re distracting me,” you muttered as you saw the shadow moving again. “Stop fiddling.”
Charles walked into the reflective field of the mirror after showering and he struggled to get the cufflinks into his Valentino suit. He walked around the table you were fixing your makeup at and held his arm out. “Can you please help?”
You fixed the shiny white gold pins into place before completing the finishing touches that completely concealed the bruises on your cheeks. The arnica had done its best to bring down the swelling but if anyone questions your puffy eyes you would just claim a rough night's sleep. 
“Can you zip me up?” you asked as you stepped out of the robe and into the gown chosen for the event. Charles knuckles traced your spine as he dragged the zip carefully up while you held your hair out of the way and the delicate touch sent goosebumps chasing in its wake. 
The Cannes Film Festival would be the first official outing with Charles and would publicise the relationship just in time for his home race. After the photos were snapped on the red carpet there would be no more privacy and every interaction would be watched by his eager fans. You knew what to expect - hate and hypercritical analysis were nothing new - but now they would come from run of the mill 20 year old females instead of millionaire middle-aged men.
A knock at the door interrupted the staring contest you found yourself in with Charles in the mirror and you stepped away to slip your heels on.
“The car is waiting downstairs,” Veronica said as she waltzed into your room. 
“Then it can keep waiting,” you replied while you chose an understanded clutch that wouldn’t distract from the dress. “I need two front row tickets to the opera next Saturday.” 
“But you have a-”
You held a hand up to interrupt her. “I didn’t ask for your opinion, just get me the tickets.”
Charles watched silently from the door, his phone and wallet in hand, and stepped aside to dodge the surly assistant that breezed from the room as quickly as she entered.
“We are attending the Palace dinner with Prince Albert next Saturday,” he said after Veronica had disappeared down the stairs. 
It wouldn’t be a Monaco Grand Prix without a Palace dinner and you had agreed to be Charles’ plus one. “I know.”
“Then why-”
“I don’t have to explain my every move to you, okay?”
His lips pressed closed in a tight line and he nodded sullenly.
“I’m sorry,” you sighed, feeling like crap for snapping at him. “I’m not used to having someone to explain my actions to.”
“I get it,” he said, but you got the feeling he really didn’t. He could talk to his family about what was happening in his life and they would listen, you didn’t have that luxury.
“We should go.”
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The plush carpet absorbed your heel with each step and you held Charles’ arm a little tighter. Your father had been kind enough to remind you not to make an embarrassment of yourself and you really wished you had been able to take a separate vehicle. After escaping the last event with Charles they had made sure to keep you closer and stop that from happening again.
“Family photo,” your father said with a tight smile. “You too, Charles.”
“Yes, sir.” Charles stepped back into the frame and curled his arm around your waist, his palm warming your hip through your dress.
“Who are you wearing this evening?” the journalist beside the photographer asked, recording device at the ready.
“These divine pieces are from Bouchra Jarrar’s private collection,” your mother answered with a soft pat to your father’s suit jacket.
“And what is this knockout piece?”
You had far less enthusiasm when the attention turned to you. “Alexandre Vauthier, haute couture.”
“If only he knew what a knockout you really were,” Charles whispered in your ear, earning a real smile from you that the camera quickly snapped at.
“And you, Charles?”
“I’m not sure, she dressed me,” Charles said with a wink to you, charming everyone in the crowd including the reporter.
“He’s wearing new season Valentino but he was distracted by the Hypercar race when we picked it out.”
Charles’ laugh teased your skin and he shrugged innocently. “Forza Ferrari, baby.”
You eventually made it to the end of the red carpet and into the cinema for the special screening of some new drama film up for an award. The lights dimmed and the crowd fell silent with the opening credits but your entire focus was on the hand that slipped into yours.
“It’s dark in here,” you whispered. “You don’t need to pretend.”
“Who said I am pretending?”
The armrest was suddenly much closer as you found yourself gravitating to him and your cheek came to rest on his shoulder before the title even appeared.
“Pretending would probably be easier.”
“Probably, but it’s too late for me.”
You didn’t tell him but you had the exact same thought.
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monstersflashlight · 2 days
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Grabbing him by the horns
Minotaur x fat fem!reader || Face sitting || Tw: internalized fatphobia
“Sit.” He instructed, his big head hanging out the edge of the bed, his horns almost hitting the ground. He looked so good naked and sprawled on your bed, his dick so big, already leaking as he looked at you.
It took you forever to be comfortable being naked around him, your rolls and fat being a big source of awkwardness for you. He insisted you were perfect, he made you feel like you were. He kissed your big tummy, he loved to mark your thighs with love-bites… He loved worshiping you like a goddess. And you believed him, you felt like a goddess around him.
But some topics were difficult to deal with. You still insisted on being always under him, and don’t get it wrong, you loooooooved being under him, his weight almost too much as he pounded you in every position possible. But you weren’t so sure about being on top, much else sitting on his face. He loved your pussy, he could spend hours and hours making out with it as you moaned, groaned and screamed his name for everyone to hear…
“No. I’ll crush you.” You argued. Your anxiety was getting worse as he talked. You wanted to be intimate, everything was going great until he mentioned he wanted you to sit on his face.
“You will not. Are you questioning my strength?” He looked offended. Ouch.
“No. Nothing like that, I’m just too heavy.” You insisted, trying to cover yourself as you talked, feeling naked in a non sexy way.
He let out a slow breath, looking at you with the softest eyes. “Little mate, if you keep saying you are too heavy I’ll spank your ass until you can’t walk so I have to carry you everywhere.” The image of you ass up, face down as he spanked you sparked a new wave of desire inside of you. But you couldn’t do it. What if you hurt him?
“I-” You tried to argue again but he wouldn’t let you.
“Sit.” He repeated, his words final.
The fear of breaking hurting him still very present inside of you. But you approached him, slowly. As soon as you were at arms reach, he was pulling you to him, forcing your legs open and turning you around so you could look at the mirror across the room. You hovered over his face, trying not to sit directly on him. He grunted, sending vibrations through your thighs, making your knees go weak. But you held your ass above his face, trying to erase some of the weight.
“You are gonna suffocate.” You warned him, anxiety filling you once again.
“Then I’ll die happy.” He said, his lips millimeters away from your pussy. And then he grabbed your hips, no preamble, no finesse. He grabbed your hips and pushed you down until your full weight was on top of his face. Your pussy over his open mouth, your clit rubbing against his nose.
Then there were no more words, no more reassurances, he drove right in. The first contact between his lips and your pussy made you quiver, and that was just the start. Before you could think about what he was doing, he was making out with your pussy, eating you out like you were the last meal on earth and he was a starving man. Or minotaur in this case.
Your hands traveled to his horns without you realizing it, grabbing onto them for dear life as his hands moved your hips as he pleased. You were on top, but he was the one guiding every one of your movements, making sure you couldn’t get away, making sure your thighs pressed the sides of his head and your pussy made contact with every part of his mouth.
He kept eating you out like he wasn’t in a hurry, like he was just enjoying the feel of you on top of him. But you? You felt desperate, your orgasm just out of reach, just a bit more and you’d get there. But he was playing with you, he was toying with your pussy like it was the best hobby he had. So you took control, the desperation inside of you so big and so fierce you couldn’t let him control the movements anymore. Your hands on is horns helped you guide him towards that little bundle of nerves. He laughed against your flesh and complied, sucking on your clit as you trashed over him. Your pussy making obscene noises as you coated his face on your fluids. Your orgasm hit you like a tide wave, making you scream his name as he kept going. And going. And going.
“Stop. Too much.” You begged, your pussy oversensitive.
He gave you one last long lick as he lifted you off his face, pulling you over him like his own personal blanket. His dick pushing against your lower tummy as you rested your head against his chest, breathing hard.
“We are doing that again as soon as you recover.” He sentenced, no place for arguments.
“Okay…” You whispered, too spent to fight him anymore.
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heartlyrins · 2 days
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sorry for the second ask lord Sunday is seeping into my brain like a parasite rn but 😭😭😭 imagine being the second sister of Sunday. After the passing of robin he slowly started getting more obsessive and controlling over poor sister readers life due to his paranoia growing.
Oh you want to go out? Too bad. You can’t. It’s too dangerous for you he’ll insist. At first it was reasonable as you both harbored your grief together. You were scared for him too but it slowly started growing worse as the days dragged on. Your friends grew concerned as you started being distant; not answering their messages and calls and always excusing yourself from hangouts.
But since Sunday is usually admired and respected, none of your friends questioned him when he stated you were having mental issues due to your sisters passing.
Slowly his feelings of obsession lead into dangerous territory, suddenly talking about having a family with you. He insisted it would save you both and eventually poor reader fell to his demands, being brainwashed into thinking he was right.
(Also aaa if you don’t mind could I be 🪽 anon? :3 I’m the one that sent sensitive reader with Sunday)
HELLOOO, of course you can be the 🪽 Anon! Sorry this took awhile to respond.. Also I love the idea of possessive!Sunday.. I want this man to obliterate me.
Tw:Incest, Incest, Incest, suggestive, obsessive behavior, possessiveness, brainwashing, implied noncon at the end, DLDR under the keep reading
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After the death of Robin, you noticeably notice the change in your big brother.. As the head of the family, he's always been calm, calculating yet after her death you can slightly see the twitch in his eyes. Nowadays, it's becoming more recent.
Especially when you're in his sights.
At first, it starts slow. He starts limiting you from going out or into the dream world without a guard or him. You still could accept the reason that it's dangerous outside, it's understandable that he's worried since what happened to Robin.
But then he starts going further, he doesn't let you visit your friends or talk with your friends under the reason that it could be an impostor or something.. It makes you laugh the first time he said it, but then you realize he was serious.
At that point you were already fed up with his antics, but the final strings were him not allowing you to go out of his room or go into the dream world.. Like at all. You're forced to stay inside his room which you couldn't understand, why can't you stay in your own room?
You would go and meet him up yourself.. But the problem is that you're too scared, scared of your big brother and how much more terrifying he could be.
So you kept silent the first few days and you can see that he's pleased with that, he starts to let you out of his room and inside the dream world once again.
But then— you notice that your friends started to distance yourself from you, they didn't want to reply to your messages or when they coincidentally meet with you in the dream world they seem scared out of their wits and excused themselves of being busy.
You pinpointed it all to him—who else could it be? He would be the only one terrifyingly powerful enough to scare your friends away—or even threaten them!
And that's where you snap, you stormed into wherever he's at and yell at him to stop messing with your life! He mostly kept a calm composure but you can the little twitch in his eye that he does once again—
Suddenly your head feels dizzy and you feel like everything around you is warping.. There's strange purple trails in your vision, your inner being is telling you—no, commanding you to follow his every saying.
You don't remember how you ended up in this position;in his bed, naked while he's stroking your back, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and how he wants a family with you.
You can't move—you can't think for yourself, but somehow your mind deluded yourself into thinking that this is where you belong.
And right here is where you'll stay, beside your big brother.
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thiswaytwoinfinity · 3 days
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it’s a bad idea, right? - part 1: can’t two people reconnect
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Jake “Hangman” Seresin x reader • inspired by sleeping with other people
Warnings: no use of y/n or physical description of reader except they have hair that can be tucked behind their ears, implied smut, this chapter is fine but future installments will be 18+
It’s finally here! Thank you to everyone for being so supportive and patient about this fic; I was dealing with some rough personal stuff and lost all my inspiration but it’s back now and I’m happy to be writing about everyone’s favorite cocky flyboy.
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There’s something about a sticky summer night when you’re 22 that makes you feel more alive than you’ve ever been.
It’s the third bar that your new roommates have dragged you to tonight, there’s a cocktail sweating in your hand and the bass from the stereo thudding through your head. You’re not sure if the grin on your face is from the watching all of the wannabe cowboys go flying off the mechanical bull in mere milliseconds or from the possibilities of newfound adulthood laid out in front of you. In this moment, it’s hard to imagine that you were ever scared about moving halfway across the country — away from your family, your hometown and your high school sweetheart who always thought you’d move home after college — to Austin.
In this moment, you feel free. You feel invincible. You feel like this is a night you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
 
“Okay, the bar is a madhouse but I managed to get another round!” Anna shouts as she makes her way back to the table, tossing her long dark hair behind her before plopping the tray of shots down in front of you and your new friends. “And there’s a new rule!”
Everyone groans in unison; Anna loves to make up drinking games, handing out shots and beers with a new rule or bet that is guaranteed to leave someone embarrassed before the night’s over.
“Oh, stop. Shit like this is how we become lifelong best friends, trust me, I read about it online,” she fires back, rolling her eyes and handing shots to you and the three other girls at the table before taking one in hand. “It’s simple. Last one to finish their shot has to ride the mechanical bull.”
“Bitch, are you trying to kill us?” Erin asks, shooting a sideways glance at Katie, who’s eyeing up her shot glass like she’s trying to strategize the best way to drink it. The two of them are sisters — “Irish twins, it’s a whole thing,” Erin explained when you first moved in — are hyper-competitive and curse like sailors. You loved them instantly.
Your tiny hope of not being the one to end up on the bull dies when you look over at Taylor, who managed to throw back her tequila when nobody was watching. “What?!” she asks, curls bobbing in the bun on top of her head as she takes in everyone’s looks of confusion and frustration. “Anna never said we had to start at the same time.”
It’s like a starting pistol went off at the end of her sentence because before you know it, Erin and Katie are both biting into limes while Anna is swallowing down the liquor with a grimace. Shit.
You do your best to catch up but it’s too late. You, the girl who grew up nowhere near Texas and have never actually seen a bull in real life, are going to have to ride one in front of this entire bar.
Years later you won’t remember the details of the bet, how your friends whooped and hollered as you made your way over to the bull with shaky knees or how the operator took pity on you when you immediately slid off and offered you a second try. The song that was playing is lost to time, as is the actual feeling of riding the bull for a whole half second.
What you will remember, though, is sliding across the tarp to rest right by a group of athletic looking guys and the strong, tan hand that reached down to help you stand up.
You’ll remember the backwards Longhorns cap on his head, the way his green eyes flashed with amusement and the blinding white of his smile as he helped you to your feet, hand lingering just a moment too long in yours. You’ll remember the way it felt like someone had set off fireworks inside of you, fingers tingling where they touched his skin and your stomach swooping like you were on a roller coaster.
You’ll remember exactly what he said to you: “Well, that was definitely the most entertaining attempt of the night.”
You giggled, a little dazed by his chiseled features, by the way he seemed to only see you in that moment, by the force of his charisma.
 “I’m Jake. What’s your name, beautiful?”
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For a Thursday night, the Hard Deck was surprisingly packed.
The Daggers had managed to claim their usual spot by the pool table, but despite their cramped quarters they practically had to shout over the sounds of drunken sailors and the oldies blasting out of the jukebox to be heard. The table next to Bob was crowded with beer bottles, the bespectacled WSO having waved off Penny when she stopped by to clear them, promising the group would clean up after themselves. Natasha and Bradley were in the middle of some kind of dumb darts competition, being heckled by Bob and a tipsy Rueben, who had his arm slung around the former’s shoulders for balance.
Jake took in the scenery, smug grin on his face, before sinking his final pool ball with a flourish.
“And that’s game, gentlemen,” he said, turning to Javy and Mickey, who were shaking their heads with frustration.
“Can’t believe I let you talk me into betting against him,” Mickey sighed, shuffling through his wallet for a $20 bill. Javy just shrugged and threw a playful punch against his friend’s shoulder, before asking for a rematch.
“Let that be a lesson, Fanboy,” Jake chuckled, making a big show of examining the bill before pocketing it. “Never bet against Jake Seresin. They call me a golden boy for a reason.”
“Who’s ‘they?’ Everyone we know just calls you a dick,” Nat called out, making her way back to the table for her drink. Taking a look at the chaos on the table, she rolled her eyes before starting to gather up a handful of empty bottles. “C’mon, Fanboy. Help me clear some of these and I’ll buy you a beer to drown your sorrows in.”
He ran over to help, allowing Javy to slide over to Jake and elbow his buddy in the side.
“10 o’clock, there’s a whole table of pretty ladies. The blonde’s had her eye on you all night and her friend with the locs is crazy hot,” he murmured, as Jake took a subtle look over at the table in question. 5 or 6 women were crammed into a booth, and judging by the tiara on one of their heads, they were out celebrating a birthday. “Wingman?” the younger aviator asked, holding out his fist for Jake to bump it.
For a half second, he contemplated turning his best friend down.
It wasn’t like Jake wasn’t attracted to the blonde, who was, indeed making eyes at him from across the room. She was exactly his type, all bright smiles and smokey bedroom eyes, her curves and long legs poured into tight jeans. She had an air of confidence that made it clear she knew just how hot she was.
He knew that if he strolled over and gave her his best All-American smile and some of that Southern charm, he could probably win her over. They’d flirt and dance a bit and then he’d drive them back to one of their places, have some decent-to-excellent sex and he’d be asleep shortly after midnight.
It seemed fun. It seemed obvious. It seemed, quite honestly, a little boring to him.
Maybe it was because he turned 35 a few months ago and the idea of going home to his own bed after a night out was starting to seem more and more appealing to him. Maybe it was because he spent so much time trying to convince his fellow Daggers that he wasn’t a complete asshole that he didn’t want to risk them changing their minds again.
Or maybe he was just a little jealous.
Jake would see the way Rueben’s face lit up when he talked about his wife, how he would brag about every milestone his 3-year-old daughter was reaching. He felt awkward about his lack of wedding knowledge when a pink-eared Bob would ask the squad for their opinion on something for his upcoming nuptials. He’d try to ignore the weird sinking feeling in his stomach when he’d overhead Nat and Mickey picking out a restaurant for their weekly brunch double date with their respective girlfriends.
And despite the fact that he had spent most of his adult life doing whatever he could to avoid those kinds of situations, now he was starting to wonder if maybe … maybe he’d be a little happier if he had been able to settle down with someone of his own.
Oof. That thought made Jake’s chest tighten uncomfortably. So he pushed it down, smiled as wide as he could and first bumped Javy. “Wingmen for life, Coyote. Lead the way.”
 
If you had to spend one more minute squeezed up against this bar, wedged between a couple aggressively making out and a trio of rowdy Navy men who were trying to sing along to Queen, you were going to scream.
“Just come for a drink or two. This place is super chill for a Navy bar, I promise,” you muttered darkly under your breath, repeating the words your friend and new coworker had used to convince you to come out tonight.
Between a frantic weekend spent unpacking all of your belongings into your new studio apartment and a very long first week at your new job, all you had wanted to do was bury yourself under a blanket and watch Real Housewives until your brain melted out of your ears.
But you were trying to be more social. You wanted to focus more on your friendships. Do things that were good for you. That was the whole point of this move.
So instead, you were leaning so far over the bar top that you could feel the edge digging into your ribs, shouting a drink order at the (admittedly, very sweet and slightly overwhelmed) bartender. She had just placed the two beers and margarita you had asked for down in front of you when another hand appeared and tried to snatch them up.
“Hey!” you yelled, tossing the bills in your hand onto the bar as you reached up to catch the offender by the wrist before they made off with your hard-won drinks. “Asshole! Drop them, those are my beers! What the fuck?”
You swiped up the cocktail with your free hand, lest it meet the same fate and turned around to see what kind of absolute monster thought they had the right to steal drinks.
Annoyingly, he was beautiful.
Tall and broad, with sun-kissed skin and a blindingly-white smile, which held a hint of sheepishness as he realized that he had been caught red handed. There was something familiar about the way he ducked his head a little, before peering at you from beneath his eyelashes.
“Sorry about that, ma’am. I thought those were mine. Didn’t mean to steal from you,” his low, twangy drawl went right through you, settling warm and comfortingly in your stomach. “I’d offer to buy you a drink to make it up to you, but, well …”
Texas. That’s where that accent is from, you thought, instantly being transported back to your nursing school program in Austin. How many wannabe cowboys had spoken with that same drawl, trying to charm you and your friends during a night out? Not too many of them had succeeded with you, especially not after —
“Jake? Jake Seresin!?”
It had to be him. You’d know that smile anywhere, had seen those green eyes in your dreams for far too long after you both had moved on. He was bigger now, muscles more pronounced and jaw more defined, more of those cheeky smile lines creasing around his eyes. His voice was deeper too, some of his accent smoothed out after years in the military, but it had to be.
He swore under his breath, eyes widening as he made the connection as well. He practically whispered your name, as if it felt a bit rusty on his tongue, but the second you nodded, he repeated it louder, warmer, like he was slipping back into his favorite jacket.
“Shit, how long’s it been?” Jake wondered aloud, looking you up and down as if to make a note of every infinitesimal change that had occurred since you last saw each other. “You look amazing, darling. Beautiful as ever.”
You rolled your eyes but felt your cheeks heating up at his compliment. Jake always had a way of making you feel like the most special person in the room — but then again, he made everyone feel that way, as you later found out. “You look good too, Seresin. Like a proper, respectable Navy man,” you concede, though the words don’t sound nearly as begrudging as you hoped.
You’re rewarded with one of those thousand-watt grins and for a second, you’re back in a Texas dive bar, flirting with the most handsome man you’ve ever seen to the tune of some cheesy country-rap remix.
“I am good,” Jake promises, eyes locked on yours, and you think he might be back there with you, leaning up against the jukebox, the floors sticky under your feet. “I don’t know how respectable I am, but I am definitely good.”
His voice drags out that sentence, low and flirtatious, and butterflies fill your stomach the same way they did all those years ago. You can practically feel the ghost of his big hands on your hips, your lower back, caressing your cheek as the world disappeared around you that night, just the two of you creating your own little world in the corner of that dingy bar. Your lips part — to say what, exactly, you’re not sure — and you see his eyes drop to them for just a moment before —
The woman behind the bar calls out “Hangman!” with a tone of voice that makes it clear that it’s not the first time she’s said it and you both startle and turn to see her holding four bottles of beer out towards Jake, a look of exhaustion on her face. He jumps forward to take them, apologies pouring from his lips and he pointedly shoves several bills into the tip jar in order to earn an eye roll and a small smile from her. Two sweating bottles in each hand, he turns back to you and almost seems a bit relieved that you’re still standing there. (As if you’ve ever been able to walk away from him.)
“I have to drop these off with my friends,” Jake says, nodding to a table somewhere behind you, “And you should probably get those drinks to the people who sent you over here. But do — do you wanna catch up? There’s a deck out back with some tables, it’s usually pretty quiet this time of night.” He waits for you to nod, before pressing a quick kiss to your cheekbone. “I’ll meet you in five minutes.”
With one more charming smile, he’s off into the crowd and — not for the first time in your life — you’re left speechless and a little stunned, staring after Jake Seresin.
 
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You’re not sure if the goosebumps on your arms are from the chill of the California evening or the way that Jake hasn’t stopped staring at you since he joined you outside on the deck. You shift slightly against the wooden bench of the picnic table, overwhelmed by the intensity of having all of the blonde’s attention on you again for the first time in a decade.
“So …” you begin, and your voice seems to startle Jake out of his thoughts slightly. “You’re a California boy now? I never thought you’d ever leave Texas.”
He grins and shakes his head slightly. “Well, when Top Gun calls and offers you a permanent station, you’d be a fool not to accept. And not to brag, but they do only offer that to the best of the best.”
“Please, Seresin. You love to brag,” you fire back, watching those green eyes sparkle with mischief.
“Well, it’s not bragging if it’s the truth. And the truth is, darling, that I am one hell of a pilot.” Jake takes a swig from his beer, before leaning a bit closer into you, like he wants to study your reactions. “What about you? What brings you out to sunny San Diego?”
“New job,” you say shortly, shrugging your shoulders as nonchalantly as possible. “Moved from the ICU to the ED, so I figured a change of location would go well with a change of pace.”
Your smile doesn’t quite meet your eyes and you hope he can’t tell. There’s no reason to tell your ex — boyfriend? Fling? — whatever that you followed a guy out here, especially since that whole — relationship? Affair? Complete and utter heartbreaking disaster? — situation crashed and burned almost immediately.
“Mmhmm,” Jake says, as if he can tell that’s not the whole story, and he takes another sip before seemingly deciding to let you off the hook. “And what did you boyfriend have to say about moving halfway across the country? Or did someone manage to finally lock you down after all these years?”
There’s a small, sinking feeling in your stomach as you think about the real reason you moved here for a brief, heartbreaking second.
“No boyfriend. No husband, either,” you say, wiggling your left hand at him in order to illustrate your point, and clock the way his eyes almost look relieved by the sight of your empty finger. “What about you, Seresin? Where’s your sweet, Southern wife?”
He laughs, a little cocky but a little hollow at the same time. “You know I don’t really do commitment, darlin’,” he jokes and, boy, do you, nights of watching him flirt with other girls while you pouted in the corner of the bar flashing in your brain. You take a long swallow of your beer — just like you used to swallow down your pride back then — and roll your eyes at him.
“I swear, you look exactly the same when you roll your eyes like that,” Jake says, his smile softening around the edges. “Nobody ever managed to make it quite as cutting as you.”
“Nobody’s ever been quite as annoying as you,” you fire back, but there’s no real heat behind it. Jake’s eye light up like you just gave him a compliment rather than pointing out that he knew exactly how to press your buttons when you were younger.
“I seem to remember you used to like it when I was able to make your eyes roll. Or, at least, when I could make them roll back into your head …”
You sigh, doing your best not to let on how much that comment made your face heat with decade-old memories of you two tangled up in your sheets. “There it is …” you begin, but he just leans into you a little more, those green eyes traveling all over your face as he speaks.
“I’m just reminiscing, that’s all. Can ya blame me? You’re still so beautiful …” Jake responds, one hand reaching out to gently tuck some of your hair behind your ear. His fingers brush against your cheek as he pulls away and you hope you can explain away the goosebumps that erupt on your skin as a product of the ocean breeze. “And I spent a lot of time trying to get you all worked up back then. Force of habit.”
You could give into it.
Allow the sheer force of Jake’s charisma and good looks to carry you away on a wave of old memories. The chemistry that always fizzled between you is clearly still there, the butterflies that have laid dormant in your stomach all this time just waiting for an excuse to be let free once again. It would be easy.
And it would be good — you two had always been good at the physical stuff. He was so gorgeous in so many ways and surprisingly generous when you were in bed. (Jake always took pride in being the best of the best, after all).
But once you woke up tomorrow morning, after all of the awkward goodbyes and the promises to call, then what? Jake Seresin doesn’t commit; he made that clear.
And you were still bruised from your last mess of a relationship, your heart feeling tender and aching in your chest most days. There’s no way that this doesn’t end the same way it did a decade ago, with you sobbing uncontrollably and Jake moving on to the next beautiful girl who manages to hold his attention.
So, with a self-control you didn’t even know you possessed, you pull yourself out of Jake’s undertow.
“Seresin, I … that’s probably a bad idea,” you say softly, eyes dropping down to the tabletop in between you. “I just got out of a relationship and I’m not in a place —”
He cuts you off by tilting your chin up to look at him and then making a point to pull his hands back and keep them to himself.
“Hey, hey, I get it. No worries. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, darlin’” Jake explains in a rush. “I’m sorry about that. Like I said, force of habit.”
You huff out a laugh and another eye roll and you can see him fight a grin at your reaction. “Only you would describe flirting with someone as a habit, Jake.”
“Well, I’m one of a kind.”
“Shut up, Seresin,” you giggle, glad to be back on solid, friendly ground with him.
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 Two hours later, Jake sent you off with a hug and his phone number as you and your friend climbed into an Uber and set off for home. She had a few questions about the “dreamboat” of a Naval aviator that you had apparently dated back in school, but was a little too excited about recounting her own evening to push you for details. It wasn’t until you arrived back at your apartment and collapsed on your couch that you realized Jake had been texting you the whole time you were in the car.
Unknown: It’s Jake 🫡😜🤠⭐️🍻🏈😉
Unknown: Hope you get home safe, beautiful. It was great to catch up with you.
Unknown: And I would be an embarrassment to the U.S. Navy if I didn’t at least offer to be your tour guide around San Diego
Unknown: I know all the best spots after all
Unknown: So text me if you want to grab lunch or something
Unknown: Or if you finally want to learn how to surf
Unknown: But give me fair warning beforehand, I remember how bad your balance is lol
 
You: lol I forgot you text every single thought in your brain
You: but having a tour guide sounds nice
You: we could get brunch this weekend and you can give me the highlights?
 
You had only just begun to take your shoes off, resigned to finally get off the couch, when your phone pinged.
 
Jake 🤠 🧡: I know just the place
You gave his text a quick thumbs up and got ready for bed smiling the whole time.
-—-—-—-—-—
Comments and reblogs are always appreciated! I don’t know if I’m going to have a regular schedule with this or anything, but I will do my best! Thank you for reading about the absolute menace that is Jake Seresin
Tagging some people who asked:
@tvshowgirl81 @redbarn1995 @stoneyggirl @keepingitlokiii @averyhotchner @dizzybee03 @olliepig @lynnevanss @djs8891 @mamachasesmayhem @mamaskillerqueen @kmc1989 @hookslove1592
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The Lentil & The Blueberry (The Surprise, Part 2)
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Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, NSFW, sex, fingering, mention of vomiting (for my emetophobia babies), established relationship, fluffity fluff, worried Emily has my whole heart Word Count: 1.6k
Summary: Weeks six and seven of your pregnancy are underway, and you are struggling. But maybe not as much as your wife? Wildly overprotective Emily will do anything to help you feel better during your pregnancy. And I mean anything. 😉
Week 6: The Lentil
Emily had known about the baby for less than 12 hours, and she’d already gone into full Overprotective Dad™ mode. You’d slept in the morning after telling her, jerking awake to find Emily towering over you, watching with her eyebrows furrowed.
“Jesus, Emily!” you exclaimed, stretching. “You scared me!” You glanced at the clock. “Don’t you have to be at work?”
Emily continued staring, a look of deep concern on her face. “I really don’t want to leave you here like this.”
For a brief moment, you forgot you were pregnant. You scoffed. “I’ve had jet lag before, babe. I think I’ll be okay.”
“No! Pregnant.” She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly running her hands through your hair as you moved to rest your head on her lap.
“I’m fine, Em,” you assured her. “I’m a little tired and sore, but that’s probably just from moving.”
“Maybe I should call and tell them I can’t make it in today…” She was speaking more to herself than to you.
Your voice was stern, decisive. “You can’t take off work for nine months just to sit around and watch me be pregnant. Even if you could, I’d rather you take the nine months after the baby’s born.”
She sighed deeply, looking down at you as if she was making the hardest decision of her life.
“You promise to call me if you need anything?” she asked.
“Promise.”
She gently placed your head back on the pillow, then knelt down in front of the bed so her eyes were level with yours.
“Please don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” she whispered. You could tell she was trying to lighten the mood, to make herself feel better about going to work, but she was too worried about you for it to sound anything other than terrified and pitiful.
“Like what?”
“Ladders, lifting things, falling in the shower...”
“Well, I wouldn’t fall in the shower on purpose,” you argued.
“Just…” She leaned forward and kissed you so gently, so softly, running her thumb slowly along your brow bone. “Be careful. Be safe.” She stood, then leaned down to kiss you on the head one more time.
“I love you,” she said, then lifted up your shirt to kiss your stomach. “And I love you.” She shot you one last desperate, anxious look before leaving.
“Promise you’ll call?”
“Go, Emily.” You shooed her out of the room, laughing. Who would’ve guessed that managing your wife might be the hardest part of being pregnant?
Week 7: The Blueberry (18+)
You leaned back into Emily as the warm water swirled around you, the sound of the jets and the movement of the water soothing your aching body. Morning sickness had started in full force, and your abs were sore from mornings spent heaving over the toilet. Your head was killing you most of the time, and you were constantly bloated. All in all, the first trimester was kicking your ass.
Emily kissed your shoulder, pressing her face next to yours and wrapping her arms around you to gently cup your breasts, mindful of the pain you’d been experiencing.
You sighed contentedly as she ran a thumb lightly over your swollen nipple.
“Better?” she asked.
“Mmhm,” you nodded, eyes closed. When Emily had called this afternoon to check on you, you’d told her how gross you felt from puking all morning, how sore your body was. She’d stopped at Bath & Body Works on the way home to buy every single kind of bath bomb they sold, just to be sure you’d have a fragrance that didn’t make you feel sick. She’d brought Epsom salts and fancy body butters and a new candle because the one you usually had in the bathroom smelled like coffee, and coffee triggered your gag reflex right now. She’d come determined to do whatever it took to help you feel better.
“And to think you said paying more for an apartment with a fancy jacuzzi bathroom was, and I quote, fucking dumb.”
“I take it all back,” you said, whining softly and involuntarily pushing your hips forward as Emily continued circling your nipples, her touch light as a feather.
“Honey,” Emily breathed behind you. “You can say no, but…” Her breath was hot against your ear. “Can I touch you?”
Your body wanted it, but your mind was struggling. “I don’t know, Em…”
Emily gently turned your body around so she could look in your eyes, her thumbs running back and forth along your hands. She leaned close, placing a hand gently on your cheek.
“It’s okay if you really don’t want to, but..” She watched you squirm a bit under the water. “It feels like you do. Can you tell me what’s going on in your head?”
You avoided her eyes, following a stream of bubbles as it made its way around the tub. “I don’t feel very pretty…” you mumbled, looking away.
“What?” she said, and you couldn’t tell if she hadn’t heard you or if she couldn’t believe what you’d said.
“I don’t feel very pretty. I feel gross.”
“Y/N.” Her voice was heavy with love and care and you felt a little like crying, not because you were sad, but because she loved you so much it was overwhelming in your current hormonal state.
Emily pulled you onto her lap and wrapped her arms around your body, pressing kisses into your face and neck. “You are so pretty. What are you talking about?”
“I’m pukey and bloated and my hair is greasy because I’m too tired to shower,” you confessed, resting your head on her shoulder. “I feel disgusting.”
“Baby,” she said, chastising you and gently guiding your face so you had to look at her. “You’re beautiful. You’re growing a whole human right now. You’re incredible. You have never been more beautiful to me.”
Almost unconsciously, you started to grind your hips into Emily’s, your breath coming fast, rhythmic. You sighed, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck.
Emily grinned. The words were working! She left a trail of kisses along your shoulder, placing her hands on your hips to guide you.
“You are stunning, Y/N. You’re growing eyes for our baby this week, did you know that?" She thought for a moment, morbid curiosity getting the better of her. "I wonder what it looks like in there…”
You stopped abruptly, as if a record had been scratched. “Not sexy, Emily. I don’t want you thinking about what the inside of my uterus looks like.”
“Sorry,” she replied sheepishly, an embarrassed smile playing on her lips. You pressed your hands to the side of her face and kissed her, your body hungry for hers for the first time since you’d returned from London. You couldn’t get enough of her, couldn’t get close enough.
“Emily,” you said breathlessly, pulling away to look at her. She was nearly as out of breath as you were–and significantly more flushed. “Touch me.”
“You’re sure?”
“Please.”
You whimpered as Emily’s thumb brushed over your clit, the warm water soft and comforting around you. She rubbed slow, indulgent circles, sensitive to your sensitivity, and your hips rose to meet her each time, even as exhausted as you were.
She kissed you deeply, passionately, her tongue desperate and gentle as it roamed your mouth, your neck. You moaned into her as she slipped two fingers inside of you, your body pulsing urgently around her. She kept her hand still for the most part, letting you control how hard, how fast, how deep.
As your breath grew ragged and your body clenched, surging against Emily’s, she moaned into your mouth, pressing into you. “Oh, god,” you breathed, Emily’s sounds nearly driving you over the edge.
“Come on, baby,” she begged, gasping. “Come for me.”
You drove your hips into Emily as your body convulsed, whimpering while your orgasm washed over you like a waterfall of static electricity. She fucked you through it, only removing her fingers when your breath started to calm and you fell against her, spent.
“Feel better?” she asked, kissing the side of your head, and pushing a string of wet hair out of your face.
You nodded, still too out of breath to speak.
You dragged yourself into a sitting position a few minutes later. “Here,” you said, clearly exhausted. “Let me do you.”
“It’s okay,” Emily told you, grinning.
“I can,” you insisted, pulling her toward you for a kiss.
“No, Y/N,” she said, laughing a bit as she pulled away. “I’m good. As in, I already came.”
“What!?” You giggled, blushing a bit. “Jesus Christ, Em! You were horny as fuck.”
She blushed and kissed you again, then poured some shampoo into her hand and grabbed your head playfully. You sighed happily as she massaged it into your scalp.
“I can’t help it,” she shrugged. “Look at you. Your boobs are fucking huge right now.”
“Well, don’t get used to it.”
Emily stared at you for a minute. Your soapy head. Your arms crossed defiantly over your chest. The slight pouch in your stomach that she knew would grow into her child. The way your eyes shone, holding so much love, so much purity of spirit and heart. What had she done to deserve you? She felt tears forming at the corners of her eyes, and she used her thumb to wipe them away.
“Are you crying?!” you asked, leaning forward to take her hand in yours.
“I just love you so much,” she said, her voice heavy with emotion.
“Oh, god,” you complained, sniffling yourself. You had a hair trigger for crying these days. “If you cry I’m gonna cry.”
She exhaled firmly. “I’m pulling it together, don’t worry.”
“I love you, too,” you said quickly before dunking your head under the water to get rid of the suds. And because if you thought about it too much, you'd start sobbing and god knows when you'd stop.
You popped back up, flipping your hair over so you looked like a founding father. Emily laughed, and all was right in the world.
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milktei · 3 days
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Homecoming
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Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!reader
Genre: Sickfic, hurt comfort
Warnings: Slight manga spoilers
Requests: Closed*
a/n: hello hello! (is acting like i haven’t been gone for forever), can you believe i found this just sitting on a random note in my phone 90% done???? i literally wrote this over a year ago and never found the motivation to finish it ;-; due to its age toshi might be a bit ooc.
anyways, i’m not entirely back yet but i keep seeing lovely comments and reblogs that just make me want to start writing again ;-; maybe with the haikyuu movie being released soon my motivation will amp back up. ALSO i’m gonna try to start reblogging regularly again
*request box is still technically “closed” but if anyone has some genshin or *ahem* Baldurs gate 3 requests, i may be inclined to write if they pique my interest :)
enjoy!
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If there was one thing that you knew for an absolute fact. it would be that volleyball would always be his main priority.
You knew this well before you started dating him, it was part of the reason you refused to admit your true feelings for him. You refused to take him away from his first love. Something that he was so visibly passionate about.
So you stayed on the sidelines, watching wistfully as the boy you had a crush on rose higher and higher, while you stood on the ground looking up in awe. This was comfortable, you were content with just watching and admiring. It was all you thought you were able to do.
Until he had asked you out first.
You had genuinely thought that Tendou was joking when he had told you that the Ushijima Wakatoshi saw you as anything more than one of the team’s managers.
His face was always devoid of emotion. Your interactions were limited to him nodding in thanks as you gave him a towel or water bottle, or him humming in acknowledgment as you relayed to him the notes you took after the most recent practice match.
And yet you found yourself standing in front of him, just outside the gym after practice, heart absolutely racing as he asked you out on a date.
Your first date was awkward to say the least. Having never spoken outside of club activities, you found it hard to keep a conversation flowing as you two sat in a cafe sipping your drinks.
He had walked you back to your dorm that day, but before you could go in, he had grabbed your hand.
You stared in shock at the large hand enveloping yours, “Ushijima?”
Suddenly, you felt a tiny gust of wind and a slight pressure against your forehead. You could only stammer dumbly as you realized the pressure was his lips.
He pulled away after a moment. He was heavily avoiding eye contact and turned his head to the side, but you could see the tips of his ears turning red.
“I don’t know much when it comes to this stuff. But I know I would like to go out again… if that’s okay with you of course.”
You gaped at the boy in front of you “I- um we…” you took a deep breath to centre yourself and smiled “Yes I would like to go out with you again Ushijima.”
Your relationship progressed quite fast after that. More dates, hanging out with him and Tendou in their dorm.
You were there for everything, cheering him on during games, you were the first person he would seek out when he won, you comforted him after a loss.
Your relationship lasted through high school and even university. It wasn’t long before you two ended up moving in together.
When Wakatoshi found his place with the Schweiden Adlers you were ecstatic. You had also just landed a great job and it felt like your two were simply cruising through life with ease.
Unfortunately your seemingly perfect life would never last forever.
Being in the v-league, volleyball seemed to fill his schedule more now than ever. Constant practice, games outside of the city even in other countries sometimes.
You hardly saw Ushijima anymore despite living with him. Even when you did, he was tired or just about to leave for practice.
It felt like you were pushed back into the sidelines. Watching hopelessly as he rose higher and higher, to places where you could not reach. It was no longer comfortable, you could no longer look in awe, but in despair as you watch him slip from the already loose grasp you had on him.
You couldn’t even remember the last time you went on a date. Every time you mentioned doing something in his free time he had brushed you off.
Which led you to now.
You woke up to an empty bed yet again. It was your day off so you weren’t rushing to get out of bed.
Yet you felt off.
The dryness in your mouth and throat is what you felt first. Then how runny your nose was. Finally, the cold sweat you were experiencing.
You were definitely sick.
You groaned to yourself and pulled the blanket to your chin. Hoping that you could possibly sleep it off.
Yet your efforts were in vain. After what felt like hours of trying to fall back asleep you realized that you were just going to feel even more miserable without anything to eat or at least drink.
You pushed yourself up onto your elbows and immediately regretted it. The world spun around you and your entire body shook. You collapsed back onto your pillow and panted at the exertion it took.
As you caught your breath you turned your head towards your bedside table, where your phone sat charging.
Weakly, you lifted your arm and with a bit of effort you were able to grab your phone. As it turned on you winced at how bright the screen was and with bleary eyes you managed to open your contacts.
The words seemed to blend together as you searched through your contacts, you nearly sobbed in relief as your eyes finally focused on the name of your best friend.
You clicked the call button and dropped you hand to beside your ear, preparing for the way your throat would undoubtedly hurt as you spoke.
After a couple rings you heard the person on the other side pick up and you quickly began speaking, desperate to get them to come quickly so that you could hopefully feel better.
“Hey, I’m sorry if you’re busy but do you think you can bring me some drinks and maybe food? i’m not feeling the best and I don’t know if I can get up at all.”
The person on the other end of the phone began talking but you could barely decipher it as your head spun and your body shivered despite how warm you were.
“-/n….y/n?”
You froze at the deep voice on the other side of the phone. You pulled away an looked at the screen, nearly breaking down at the sight of Wakatoshi’s name instead of your friends. Quickly you put it back against your ear
“Ah I’m sorry Toshi. I meant to call a friend you’re probably busy you don’t have to come back home.” you said quickly, actually sitting up as you rambled nervously, reprimanding yourself for interrupting his practice.
You had called and texted him during practice before. At one point he was fine with it, responding during breaks or calling you back once practice had finished. But lately you had been greeted with one worded responses, or you were just ignored.
One time you even tried to pry once he got home from practice, asking him about his odd lack of response. That day, he had turned to glare at you.
“I’m busy y/n. I don’t have time for things like that.”
“You’re sick?” your thoughts were interrupted by his voice again. He used a tone much gentler than the one he had used that day.
“A little bit, nothing to worry about I can just call-“ you cut yourself off with a harsh cough, unable to hold back the whimper as your throat throbbed in protest.
“I’m coming home.”
Whether from his words or the fever you couldn’t tell, but a chill ran down your spine
“N-no toshi you don’t have to I’ll be fine don’t leave practice just because of me”
“I’ll stop by the store for some ingredients don’t get out of bed.”
And with that the call ended. Slowly, you took the phone away from your ear and looked at it in shock. He was leaving practice early. Something you weren’t aware he was willing to ever do.
At least not recently.
Only when the shock settled, did you realize just how much your body was protesting you sitting up. So, despite your better judgment, you lied back down, waiting in nervous anticipation for him to come home.
What might have been half an hour felt like forever as you laid in bed. Shivering underneath the comforter despite sweating profusely, rubbing your nose raw from having to blow it constantly, all whilst it felt like you were spinning.
In your haze you didn’t even hear the front door or you bedroom door open. How could you when your body demanded all the attention you had?
Wakatoshi stood frozen in the doorway, a plastic bag hanging off his arm, silent as he took in the state you were in.
How hadn’t he noticed before he left? you couldn’t have possibly entered this state within the couple of hours he was gone.
He felt a tug of unease pull at his heart and willed himself to walk up to you.
“y/n,” he called softly. sitting on your side of the bed.
You flinched at the sound of his voice not knowing he was in the room. Slowly, you opened your eyes and winced at the light in the room.
“Toshi,” you croaked pathetically.
His face softened and he brushed your damp hair away from your face, frowning when he felt how warm your forehead was.
“Hey,” he greeted, he lifted a hand and that’s when you saw a thermometer from the medicine cabinet in his hand “can you open your mouth please?“
Weakly, you did as he asked, and as it sat in your mouth, he quickly walked towards the master bathroom. Mumbling something about a towel.
You didn’t hear him however as you turned your head back towards the ceiling and already felt your eyes drooping again.
You only came to when you felt something cool against your forehead, you opened your eyes to see Toshi looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows. The thermometer beeped and when he looked at the reading the crease deepened.
Toshi disappeared for a moment again, making his presence known when he began to take the comforter off of you.
You whined as he did so, shivering even harder as air hit your body. You even sat up to try and grab it back.
“‘s cold toshi,” you slurred.
He was quick to place a thinner sheet on top of you “I know dear, but we have to get your body temperature down.”
As you pulled the blanket closer Wakatoshi opened the bag he brought with him. You heard the rattle of a pill container and then the crack of a bottle being opened. Wakatoshi turned to you and held out some medicine and water.
You reached out a shaky hand to take the medicine, placing the pill in your mouth. Wakatoshi helped you hold the bottle, noting how weak your arms were.
You sighed in temporary relief when you finished drinking, glad that your mouth felt less dry.
Wakatoshi allowed a small relieved smile to cross his face and he quickly helped you lay back down.
“I’ll make you some food, stay here.”
Once he was sure you were comfortable he made his way to the kitchen quickly getting his ingredients ready.
It was only when he was midway through washing some rice when he took a moment to pause.
When was the last time he had cooked for you?
Wakatoshi continued his task albeit feeling guilty thinking about how you’ve been the one cooking and eating dinner alone for some time now. It used to be a shared responsibility. Now he usually came home late so you would put a plate aside for him or he would go out to eat with the team.
He was still deep in though as he pushed the bedroom door open with his back, a tray consisting of a bowl of rice porridge and a cup of tea left a trail small trail of steam as he walked.
You were asleep but woke easily at the sound of his footsteps. It took a moment for your eyes to focus on him.
He gestured with the tray, “Do you think you can eat?”
You looked at the food, perfectly plated and garnished, your mouth watering slightly at the savoury smell.
“I think so. At least a little bit.”
He helped you sit up, and when he saw the weakness still in your arms he fed you himself.
You hummed contently at the first bite of food. You had missed this more than you thought you did.
After about half the bowl was done and your tea finished, you signalled that you stomached as much as your body would allow. Now with your body temperature having gone down and your stomach full you could feel yourself becoming less and less loopy. You watched quietly as he put the tray on the bedside table. When he was finished with that, he sat still on the bed and stared at the wall.
You looked at his face, despite it deceptively lacking emotion, you knew better than anyone else that something was bothering him.
However before you could ask he began to speak
“Why wasn’t I the first person you contacted when you realized that you were sick?”
You froze, looking down in your lap fiddling wIth a loose thread in the blanket.
“…Well…you’ve been busy as of late….I didn’t think it was important enough to take you out of practice. Someone less busy would have probably been willing to come.”
He slowly turned to face you. “You didn’t think that your wellbeing was important enough?”
You shrugged, “Well volleyball is always going to be your biggest priority. I’m just sick it’ll pass.”
Obvious distress crossed Ushijima’s face “y/n, you are my main priority.”
You paused. Perhaps it was time to tell him how you were really feeling instead of dancing around the subject.
“…It hasn’t felt that way lately.” you say hesitantly, your voice small.
Wakatoshi faltered. You kept looking down, almost scared to look him in the eye.
“I was content with that at first, your love of volleyball is admirable, it’s was drew me to you at first. But it always made you seem unattainable. When you asked me on that date all those years ago I was over the moon,” you paused to clear your throat huffing in annoyance as your sickness interrupted you.
“But I can only endure so much Toshi. Nowadays it feels like your going where I can’t reach. You’re always busy, which is understandable for a professional athlete… I just wish it wasn’t to the point where I’m worried about your reaction if I were to try to talk to you.”
There was a shift in the mattress. Then familiar arms that you had been longing for wrapped tightly around you.
“Toshi you’re gonna get sick.”
“It’s fine,”
“but-“
“I’m sorry y/n.”
you stiffened but stayed quiet to let him speak.
“You’ve done so much for me without complaint and I have done so little in return. i’m sorry for letting it get to this point. It took you getting this sick for me to realize.”
A stormy look crossed his face, “I… I’ve been struggling to balance work and home, in return I’ve been neglecting you and letting how tired I am influence my reactions. you don’t deserve that. you are my first priority y/n, I don’t know what I would do without you.”
You sniffled and wiped a tear that fell from your face. You didn’t even know you were crying. For a man usually so quiet and stoic, he always knew what to say to you when he needed to. It was always so endearing to you.
“If I had known you were going to take it this well I would’ve said something earlier,” you say softly.
He smiles sadly, “I haven’t been making it seem that way hmm?”
You shake you’re head but smile back, “no”
He sighs to himself but places a gentle kiss against your forehead much like how he did all those years ago. Your eyes flutter shut and you make let out a pleased sigh. You were much more comfortable than you were when you first woke up.
“We’ll talk more once you get better. I promise,” He eventually says. holding you a bit closer to him.
You nodded and snuggled closer to his chest. While it wasn’t an immediate fix, it was a start.
“Sounds good to me Toshi.”
He smiled down at you “Sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
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strniohoeee · 3 days
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Labyrinth
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female reader
Synopsis: A numb and addicted y/n can’t seem to understand why her life suddenly feels different. She’s done nothing but move around in her adult years, so why is it now that she feels she can’t pack up and leave anytime soon?
Warnings⚠️: I haven’t written in over a month, so I’m super rusty this might be shitty! Cigarette smoking and mentions, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol. I don’t condone smoking or drinking (underage).🖤
Song for imagine: Cigarettes and Coffee- Otis Redding
Its early in the morning
About a quarter ‘til three
I’m sittin here talking with my baby
Over cigarettes and coffee
I was never one to deal with stress easily which led me to deal with it in the worst ways possible. Drinking, smoking, quitting jobs on the spot and even packing up and leaving places…..I know stupid and risky, but I never had that anchor in my life to tell me everything was going to be okay.
If I felt stressed and useless my things were packed and I was on the road to a new state. I think I was on state number 7 in about a year and a half. Who the fuck in their right mind handles stress this way? That was the million dollar question, and I had the answer…. I wasn’t in my right mind…not in the past, not in the present and undoubtedly not in the future.
After my last breakdown I landed in California precisely in Los Angeles, the city of angels. Where all your dreams and aspirations could come true. It just felt like lost paradise to me, but it’s the longest state I’ve ever stood in. For some reason I couldn’t find the power in me to leave when I got stressed. It was as if I had some unforeseen future here….a future of happiness and hope?
But the stress still gnawed at me. Will I ever have a career, will I ever be truly happy, will my parents be proud of me?How am I going to pay for next month's rent?How am I going to pay for next week's groceries?
It was a constant battle and I never severely suffered because I always found a way, but once all that was taken care of the immediate panic started again about how will I be able to do it all in the following weeks.
I started smoking constantly and it was weird because I wasn’t a smoker but I knew I should drink a little less. I only lit a cigarette when the stress was so bad I refused to drink anymore. Not like smoking was any better ruining my lungs rather than my liver….
But the problem was it went from one to two a day to five and on really bad days even up to eight. It was a bad crutch I simply couldn’t pull away from. They were my training wheels and I was so scared that once I let go I’d crash and burn.
I had an addiction and I had no one around me to slap me out of it. Of course I still spoke to my parents, but I just lied about it. I mean there’s truly no one to blame but myself, however all that regret left my mind once a lighter was in my hand and I took a long drag while the cool night breeze brushed against my skin.
I was lucky enough to have found a job almost instantly. It was a cute little coffee shop that had a small selection of books. It was a peaceful and slow paced job. We only really needed two to three people working. So I’d open at 8am and waited for the next girl to clock in at about 11am.
It was a fun job that paid the bills and my horrendous cigarette addiction. I had found a decent studio apartment nearby. But I was always convinced that this would be snatched from under my feet and I should never get comfortable. As you can expect this led to my extreme stress and anxiety.
I didn’t necessarily have friends here, I mean yes I was cool with my coworkers and boss; but we weren’t friends. It was more of a hi, bye situation. It didn’t bother me much. I was always a loner. I never really found people who got me, so I stayed with the only person who did…me.
On my days off I spent a lot of time walking around flea markets, heading into other cafes and even writing. I’d always hoped that one day I’d be a writer. My mind was always running and I figured someone out there might actually relate to and enjoy the words I’d write on a piece of paper.
Today I was actually working a small shift from 8am to 1pm. I was staring blankly at my reflection in the bathroom. Scruffing my hands and gargling mouthwash. It was 11am and I was coming back from my break.
Spitting the mouthwash into the sink I closed the cap and stuffed the travel size bottle into my purse. Inhaling deeply I looked at myself once again.
“You have got to stop smoking” I replied in a mumble
Slipping my hand blindly into my purse I pulled out my perfume; spritzing myself before shutting the light and heading into the break room to place my purse back.
Slipping my apron on my coworker walked in, clocking in the back as she offered me a smile
“Good morning Y/N” she said as she walked towards me to place her things down
“Good morning K” I stated as I offered a smile back and began to make my way to clock back in
I wasn’t sure why her name was K, it was all over her employee paperwork. She was here before me, so I felt I had no right to ask her for her real name. But it was interesting for someone to just drop the rest of their name and solely go by a singular letter.
After punching back in I walked to the front, not a surprise it was dead. The only people lingering around were the 8am-9am crew. Sighing deeply I decided to clean up a bit.
It was about 12pm now and I was watching the clock anxiously waiting to clock out and run free. Usually I worked 8-4 and sometimes even 8-6. I had a whole day ahead of me and two days off might I add. I felt pretty invincible
Drinking from my water cup the door chimed signaling a customer. Placing the cup down I began to turn around.
“Hi welcome to Mugs” I stated as I turned around
Immediately I was intrigued. I have never seen someone as interesting before. I mean it is LA, so I have seen some interesting stuff; but no he looked different…. And for some reason I couldn’t really look away
Placing his vision glasses on top of his head he squinted his eyes to read the menu. My eyebrow raising.
“You know glasses are meant for you to see things” I said logging into the register as I looked up at him
“I’m sorry?” He said looking at me
“You um…. You put your glasses on your head and then squinted to read” I said pointing above me at the board
“Oh… well these are just blue light glasses. I genuinely can’t really see” he said in an awkward way
“Ohhh well uhh want me to read the menu to you?” I asked laughing a bit
“Oh no it’s fine, I’m not really a coffee drinker” he stated looking at our pastry display
“You do realize you’re in a Coffee shop?” I said jokingly
His both opened a bit and then he squinted his eyes
“I am now seeing how ridiculous I look” he said chuckling and shaking his head
“No judgment here” I said sticking my hands up in defense
“I won’t waste your time any more! Can I have a chocolate chip cookie and that bottle of Pepsi” he said pointing behind me at the small fridge
“One Pepsi and one cookie, coming right up” I said checking him out on the screen
Grabbing the cookie and bottle of soda I placed it on the counter and slid it towards him.
“You can tap or insert your card whenever you’re ready” I stated clicking some buttons on my screen
“I’m uhh actually paying cash” he said fishing in his wallet
“Woahhh cash in this century?” I said giggling and fixing the system
“Yeahh I carry a little bit of cash and little bit of card” he said shrugging his shoulders
“A little bit of card….hmm…that’s funny” I said giggling a bit at him
“Well you know what I mean” he says playfully rolling his eyes
“I’m just messing with you” I said shaking my head
Smiling he handed the cash over and grabbed his items
“Keep the change” he said waving with his hand and nodding his head
Walking out the door I couldn’t seem to understand why I had a stupid smile on my face. Putting the cash in the till and placing the change in our tip jar.
Turning around I was met with my two coworkers staring at me with a smirk on their face. I’d never been the spotlight of attention and I’ve never gotten anything other than a good morning from either of them. So my face dropped and I got self conscious
“What?” I said a bit scared as I straightened my posture
“He was totally into you” K stated as she placed the rack of cookies down
“Was not! We were just making friendly conversations” I said opening the pastry shelf and putting some cookies in
“No no I agree with K we’ve had a lot of guys come in here, but this is the first time I’ve seen a guy like utter more than two words to you and he was totally geeking out” Delilah stated
“Totally! That kid was blushing like crazyyy” K stated as she grabbed the now empty tray and began to walk back towards the kitchen
“Guys come on! It was just friendly banter” I said shutting the pastry door
“Delilah knows her shit too, that’s how Danny and I got together” K stated from the kitchen
“Shut up! No way” I said rolling my eyes
“Sure did! As soon as we had an interaction K told me he’d be back for my number, and that was three years ago” K replied
“You just got lucky this was nothing but mere coincidence” I replied back to them
“You’ll see girl” Delilah stated as she began to make herself a coffee
Playfully rolling my eyes I checked the clock, I had about 10 minutes till my shift was over. I decided to make myself a drink.
As I made my iced latte I began to wonder. I didn’t really have many interactions with guys, but I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.
It just felt like a friendly banter with an awkwardly shy….nerdy guy. Laughing to myself I finished making my drink.
“Alright girls I’m going to clock out now” I stated as I walked to the back
Punching out and grabbing my things I slid my apron off and grabbed my drink. Heading towards the front of the cafe
I waved bye to the girls as I took a sip.
“Have a good day girls” I said as I walked out
I had the whole day ahead of me and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. My job was near a pier where I could always sit down and watch people.
Before heading to the pier I decided to stop for some food. Heading into a small restaurant I sat down. Taking my book out of my purse I began to write. I hadn’t written in two weeks and it felt wrong.
Ghosting my hand over the paper, my mind just kept going blank. I couldn’t form a proper sentence and my mind began to race again. Thinking back on that boy I began to think about my love life.
Honestly I didn’t really have one, I was more of a hopeless romantic. Often watching rom coms and rolling my eyes at how unrealistic that love was. I’m sure it was tangible, but I was just a sour puss.
I longed for a relationship like that to always know you’ll have someone there for you loving you unconditionally. To be with someone through sickness and in health. I was only 22, but it seemed to me that everyone around me already had that amazing soulmate. I was very clearly late to the game and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find someone to love. I wasn’t even sure I was lovable myself.
Then again I never put myself out there, but times have changed. It's not that easy. Guys have become so shitty and all they care about it sex. But it’s like what about getting to know the person deep down.
Not once has a guy ever asked me my dreams and aspirations, where do I see myself in five years? What are my biggest goals in life? What’s my biggest fear….. I lost all hope for love by the time I was 18.
Reading romantic stories and watching these shows and movies definitely added salt to the wound.
I hadn’t realized how much I was writing till my hand began to cramp. Looking up I realized it was no longer daytime.
“Shit” I muttered under my breath
Slamming my book shut I paid my bill and began to gather my things. Walking out of the restaurant I stepped out onto the golden street. It was about 5:45 and I really couldn’t understand how that much time had passed.
I think that’s why I enjoy writing the most, I’m so far gone in my own world it’s like I’m frozen and the world around me continues to move.
Walking towards the pier it was surprisingly empty at this time. Breathing in the salty air I sat down on a bench. Watching the ocean I let the breeze blow through my hair.
Digging in my purse I pulled out my pack of American Spirits. Sighing deeply I pulled a cigarette out. As soon as I grabbed my lighter all the regret washed away from me.
Placing the white object in between my lips I flicked the lighter a few times before a glowing flame appeared before me. Guarding the flame from the wind I brought it closer.
Inhaling as I lit the cigarette all my worries washed away. This was only my second cigarette of the day and I somehow felt accomplished.
Kicking the gravel underneath me I took a long drag, exhaling I got up. Walking over to the edge of the pier I decided to sit down allowing my legs to hang off the edge.
I wasn’t 100% sure I could do this, but it’s worth a shot I thought to myself. Leaning my chin in the railing I took another drag as I stared into the sunset.
Life was so beautiful and I wasn’t sure why I was so sad and numb all the time. I took a lot for granted and I hated it.
I really needed to stop smoking.
“You know those things will kill you” I heard from behind me
My brows began to furrow as I took a drag
“I’m sorry?” I said annoyed as I looked behind me, blowing the smoke out through my nose as my face dropped
“You shouldn’t smoke” he said again with a cheeky smile on his face
Meeting eyes with the same guy from the cafe made my heart skip a beat and my throat go dry.
“Squinting your eyes is also bad for you” I said putting the cigarette out
“Won’t kill me though” he said shrugging his shoulders
“You never know” I said shrugging my shoulders and standing up
His eyes followed me as I got up and it was only then did I feel super self conscious about this whole situation. My embarrassment turned a bit into anger.
“Anyways you drink Pepsi, so that for sure will kill you” I said as I dusted my pants off
“Guess we’ll both be dead then” he replied
“Wow you’re super blunt” I said scoffing
“Sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off rude. I was just playfully teasing” he said looking nervous
Looking at him for a split second and I sniffed and then rolled my eyes
“It’s fine. It’s a bad habit anyways” I replied shrugging my shoulders
“We all have bad habits we’re not proud of” he said in a whisper
“Are you uhh following me?” I asked him cocking an eyebrow
“What? No oh my god no! I was just walking and I thought you looked super familiar” he replied putting his hands out in defense
“I’m just teasing you” I said giggling
“I’m Matt” he replied placing his hand out for me to shake
“I’m Y/N” I stated as I shook his hand
“It’s nice to formally meet you” he said awkwardly
“Yeah” I replied awkwardly
“I’ll uh… ill let you go on about your business. Maybe I’ll see you around” He said
“Well you know where to find me” I said smiling at him
Opening my bag I was digging around for my phone before successfully pulling it out.
“Right, we’ll have a good evening” he said and waved shyly
“I’ll see you round Matt” I replied
Going our separate ways I looked down at my phone, 6:55pm…. Sighing, I walked back to my car close to the cafe and drove home.
Shuffling up the stairs I pushed my apartment door open after unlocking it. Making note that I must call the maintenance guy because that door needs some WD40 badly.
Locking the door I turned my lights on. Today just felt strange like I couldn’t put my finger in exactly what the fuck was going on.
Walking over to my patio I opened the sliding door and stepped out. Taking in the evening breeze my mind just went blank.
Stepping back inside I grabbed my purse, grabbing my lighter I shuffled my hand around my purse to feel for my pack of cigarettes. But my brows furrowed when I didn’t feel the square container.
Walking over towards the light I opened my bag more and looked inside. An annoyed feeling washed over me as I couldn’t find the box. I mean honestly good because I did not need anymore.
Still searching as if the box was going to magically appear. I groaned soon realizing I must’ve left them on the bench and they are for a fact long gone by now.
Throwing my lighter back into my purse I groaned and sat on my couch. The one time I desperately need a cigarette I fucking left it on the pier.
I cut that night short with a 80s movie marathon and left over pizza as a midnight snack.
remembering that tomorrow I had to stop into the cafe to pick up my paycheck. We’re living in a very digital world right now and my job still does paper checks….
Groaning at that I decided to call it a night….
The End
Okayyy IVE BEEN GONE FOR SOOO FUCKING LONG. And I’m sooo sorry it’s just life has been so crazy since March! However this was the end of part 1….stay tuned for more🥺🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
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st4rgzer · 2 days
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now playing…FORTNIGHT (spencer reid)
-“ˈfɔːtnaɪt: a period of two weeks”-
summary: in which your unlawful affair with fbi agent spencer reid must come to an end
genre: angst, flashback of fluff
cw!: allusions to cheating, kissing, inappropriate innuendos
a/n: this is acc so long but i promise its worth the read, first of many to come!
you watched as spencer methodically fiddled with his tie, a sign that no matter how loose he’d get it to be, it felt like he was choking. you grinned reminiscent, this had brought back to your mind the memory of your first date with him. except he had shorter, neater hair and a less bitter smile.
“how’s your wife” you said, pettiness laced in your words. your arms crossed over your chest, putting up invisible walls, distancing yourself mentally from him. pretending you weren’t thinking about how pretty he’d look under you.
“she’s…well.” he had given you a short, wary response. his eyes studied your face, landing on your lips, he licks his. most likely, he was trying to memorize everything, as if you were a fleeting moment. but you were. you were uncertain about his intents when his eyes wandered for a few seconds.
“how’s dan?” the word ‘dan’ came out with a petulant smile, and sour tone. flourishing the little likeness he had toward him.
the conversation bored you out of your mind. he was holding back. he could’ve said about a million things by now but he chose to keep silent, neglecting your tortured heart even more.
“i think he’s cheating on me, though im still not sure. but i have strong points on the subject, good reasoning” you say dismissively, looking down at your nails. the issue didn’t seem to faze you. after all, some could say you had committed certain behaviors that could allude as cheating.
spencer tried to bite back the grin that was forming on his face, he looked down to try and conceal it.
“i’m sorry about that…” his tone seemed untruthful. he wasn’t sorry about it, because he knew the things he’d done with you while both of you had a ring on your fingers.
you gnawed on your bottom lip. thinking of an ingenious comment that would make him laugh. a quip to start some friendly fire. something that could break through the crushing tension that lingered between the both of you, like thick vines wrapped around your neck, making you unable to speak.
‘i love you, it’s ruining my life’ was all that your brain could come up with, but of course, this wasn’t exactly the best thing to say given the setting and circumstances. but it was how you felt. you treasured every touch and every word, hanging onto every detail desperately. every fortnight that his wife would be out of town. it was unlawful, but, who were you to neglect an invitation with spencer reid? until then, your mornings are all mondays. stuck in an endless february. unable to move on from what should be yours.
you meet his gaze, regretting it almost immediately. knowing the lethal effects he had on you, like some sort of drunkenness that had turned you into a barely functioning alcoholic. his eyes change, his smile differs. he swallows, clearing his throat.
“we can’t do this anymore.” he speaks, his voice sounds brittle and unsure. you don’t break eye contact. you listen intently to his words.
“my wife…my wife knows that i don’t stay late at the BAU as much as i say i do.”
“im a profiler, i can lie but- it doesn’t take away from the fact that this can’t happen anymore.”
“i mean you know how i feel about you, i just- i just can’t keep up with the ruse. i love you and it’s ruining my life.”
your eyes widen at the last sentence, appalled. you tried to decipher spencer’s words. reading between the lines, seeking for some sort of clue that hinted towards the truth. if he loves you, why can’t he stay?
“okay…can we at least stay friends?” you ask him cautiously. even if it meant no more sneaking around, his eyes would at least stay in your life.
spencer swallowed harshly, your eyes lingering over his adam’s apple as he does so. he looks uncertain. you figure maybe his wife was the one with the real issue, not him. you wanted to kill her.
“sure” his voice was slightly above a whisper. he looked away. almost as if, if he continued to hold your gaze he’d had no choice but to give in. that’s what you wanted him to do, to cave in, like always. you wondered if this would be the last fortnight spent with him, and suddenly, realization hit you like a 10 ton truck. you looked down as well, confidence derailing.
“but you’re still my best friend, spence” your voice was nearly a whimper, sounding like a wounded dog. you look up at him with glassy eyes. tilting you head to the side slightly, eyebrows furrowed as you try to control your emotions. you look down, hands fidgeting nervously.
“yes, of course…we just can’t have those benefits anymore” he wants to do nothing more than to grab you and hold you in his arms. to say sorry for everything he had put your through. instead he looks to the waiter.
“check, please” he clears his throat and hopes the sound of his tearing heart isn’t too loud as you look up to look at him with tear rimmed eyes. you bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling. spencer pays the tab, leaving a generous tip. you get up from your seat, incapable to look at spencer in the eye.
you don’t notice him stepping towards you. your breath hitches as you stare up at him, the closest you’ve been to him all night. his calloused hand cups your cheek, fingers tracing your face, to your under eye. you blink, cursing yourself internally as a tear slips. you look away. he sighs, wiping the tears carefully with his thumb.
“im sorry, you know what i’d do if i could…if things were different” his words are just more salt to fresh cuts. even if he sounded regretful, even if he was sorry, you still had the right to be sad.
“it’s fine, you aren’t mine, i shouldn’t be this sad” you harshly take a step back, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. his mouth stays slightly agape at your sudden movement. he bites down at his lip, sighing, admitting defeat. you were right, he was never yours and you were never his. two parallel lines who never got the chance to see what could’ve been if the circumstances were different.
he had corrupted you, nights that belonged to only you would fade into a memory. the touches that lasted a fortnight. the feeling of his hands in your hair, your clothes on his bedroom floor.
you loved him, and it was ruining your life.
“goodbye, reid” you tone was purposefully cruel, and the choice of using his last name. you looked at him for a second, fighting the instinct of kissing him as a goodbye. he stared with pitiful eyes as you walked away, bell chiming as you opened and closed the door. for a moment he regretted everything said, wishing to just run away and live in the mountains, to follow through on that quiet life you had both talked about when the night passed 3am. tangled in bedsheets. he curses his eidetic memory for remembering your tearful expression, comparing it to the soft, sweet smile you had on every time you left him. can he erase every curve, every dimple he knew you had, every tiny change in your expression he could read like a book, over and over? no, he will be cursed with the gift of knowing, just like you’ll be cursed with the sound of his voice. soft and tender, the sound of his whispers of foreign words against your ear.
“Я тебя обожаю.” his voice is quiet, nose brushing against your neck as he places soft kisses against it. you giggle at the ticklish feeling, grabbing his face delicately to stop him.
“what does that mean?” you ask with a smile, pressing gentle kisses to the bridge of his nose, his face heating up in your hands.
“i adore you” he grins, leaning against your hand and kissing it.
“i know that but what does the sentence mean?” he rolls his eyes as you break out laughing, throwing your head over his shoulder, giggling as if it was the funniest joke you had ever told. you look up at him, both of you grinning widely as he places a proper kiss against your lips.
he loved you, it was ruining his life.
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scarlethexelove · 11 hours
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can you please write Y/N and Wanda also Natasha is not dead here (up to you thooooo) , and Y/N pretty much replaced Vision. But before these events Natasha has always been there for Wanda, (after Endgame) so she didn’t make a hex but still griefed about Y/N and Wanda making a big move for Y/N’s reincarnation but in a good way. After Y/N being back from the dead. She learns that her soon to be wife has already fallen for Natasha and her reincarnation just meant nothing and Y/N didn’t go on with her life and ended it just there.
Wands regretted everything until she lost herself and made a big mess with the universe (pretty much MoM) and overall Wanda regretting everything, and when she gets us back (it can be Wanda taking another one of us in an another universe) or her just making us alive from the dead *this all can be up to you author*
I love your stories 🖤
I'm Sorry
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Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Word Count: 3590
Warnings: Cheating (Allusions to it but really it is there), Angst, Major character death, Mentions of Murdering innocent people, Angry Wanda, Suicide by others, Not really a happy ending, tiny bit of fluff like very little.
A/n: This one was fun. I hope I did it justice. I may have changed a little bit of it but I hope you still like it.
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN
Everything hurts. You have a splitting headache and it feels like you got run over by a MACK truck. Your face scrunches up in pain, the lights too bright even with your eyes closed. Sensory overload has you curling in on yourself. Hands come up to clamp on your ears when you hear a voice, but it’s so loud and muffled that you don’t even know who is talking to you. All you want is for all of it to stop. You had been an experiment but that experience doesn’t compare to what you are feeling right now. 
“Nat turn the lights off.” Wanda orders the older woman in the room. Nat flicks the light off as she watches Wanda brush some hairs back. You let out a whimper at the contact. It breaks her heart seeing you like this. When her hand brushes against your skin she can feel you. She feels your pain. Red whisps leave her fingers slowly seeping into your skin. Soon enough the pain starts to dissipate. 
Wanda crawls in the bed behind you wrapping herself around your frame. You feel a body pressed against yours and you immediately know who it is. “Wanda.” You whisper. You turn around in her hold and nuzzle into her neck. “I’m here sweetheart.” Wanda combs her fingers through your hair. You're so tired and she feels like home. You fight to stay awake but her ministrations have your eyes closing. “It’s ok detka get some rest.” Wanda whispers and kisses the top of your head. You finally let yourself drift off to sleep. 
A little over 5 years ago the team was fighting Thanos. Your powers let you see brief points into the future. You saw that if you died that Wanda would be safe. Thanos needed you gone to get what he wants but you also saw that in the end the Avengers would win. The event that sets that in motion was your death. So as much as it pained you you let it happen. To save Wanda, to save the world. Wanda could move on but the fate of the universe was in your hands. 
“Wanda.” Nat says softly from the corner of the room. She looks at you curled into Wanda’s arms. A sight she had hoped to never see again. “Natty, she needs this.” Wanda says softly, still stroking your hair as you sleep. Nat just nods. It hurts but she knows it is something that Wanda had to do. 
Your mind races. Your dreams are of your last memories. The fight with Thanos and how you let him kill you just in order to save everyone else. Your body shoots straight up as your chest heaves from the memories. You feel a hand rubbing up and down your back but you haven’t quite gained control. You mind questioning how you are here. Why are you alive? You should be dead. That was all your mind could see and you had accepted that fact but here you are. Tears stream down your face. “Why?” You're not sure what you are asking, who you are asking the question of. You feel so small. “Why what detka?” Wanda asks you with concern on her face. “Why am I here? I should be dead.” Your voice breaks and Wanda’s heart hurts seeing you like this. 
Wanda starts explaining everything that had happened while you were gone. Excluding some details. They had worked tirelessly to bring back those that were snapped away. Wanda and Nat become the de facto leaders of the Avengers. It took 5 years but they finally did. Once that was done they set out to bring you back. It took some time but somehow when Bruce had snapped his fingers he was able to bring you back. But somehow you ended up in a pocket universe in a deep sleep. They were finally able to get you back safely. All the information flooding into your mind is a lot to handle but eventually you understand. Somehow the universe had different plans for you. 
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It’s been a few months since you came back. Most things are the same but something seems off. Wanda hasn’t been as loving towards you. Before she was always so touchy and wanting nothing more than to crawl under the sheets cuddling while watching some sitcoms. But now she barely even gives you a hug. Sleeping in the same bed has you feeling like she isn’t even there. She is a million miles away even if she is only right beside you. Your heart hurts not understanding, is she still mad at you for letting Thanos kill you. Anytime you try to talk to her she just brushes you off and says nothing is wrong. So you're left alone to your thoughts and worries.
Nat had moved into your shared home while you were away. The two women grew closer at the loss of so many others. You want to be angry and jealous that Nat gets more attention than you but you still trust Wanda hoping that she will come around eventually. 
You’re walking towards the kitchen when you can hear a hushed discussion between Wanda and Nat. You stop just shy of the door frame listening in when you hear your name mentioned. “Wanda you need to tell Y/n.” Nat says her body leaning on the counter and arms crossed against her chest. “Tell her what Nat?” Wanda counters. She sits at the table with a sad look adorning her face. “You know what Wands.” Wanda lets out a sigh. “I can’t do that to her Nat.” Wanda’s voice is low. “You can’t keep lying to her. You can’t keep lying to me. I love you Wanda.” There is a pause in the conversation before Wanda speaks up. “I love you too.” Your heart drops the moment the words spill from Wanda’s mouth. 
You’re quick to turn on your heels as the tears start to stream down your face. Holding in a sob as it all makes sense now. In your absence the two had fallen in love. You’ve somehow become the other woman in Wanda’s life. You don’t know how you didn’t see this coming. Your powers should have felt this but they hadn’t and now you’re left heartbroken. You push into your shared room focusing on pulling yourself back together. You can’t let them know that you know until you figure out what to do. 
The buzzing of your phone pulls you out of your despair for the moment. You see Fury’s name flash on the screen. You quickly wipe your tears and answer the phone. “Sir.” You say masking the waver in your voice. “Y/l/n I have a mission for you. Since you have been cleared for duty I would like you to head out tonight with Barton and Barnes. I have sent over the reports for you to go over. Good luck out there and glad to have you back.” The phone line goes dead as the man hangs up the phone. You open the report sent to your phone. You now see the flashes in your mind of how the mission will go. And that is where you see it. What you’re going to do. 
That night you enter the Quinjet greeted by the two men. Hugs and joy at your return. Your powers are always a significant help to missions. You three go over the plans for the mission. You lay out what you had seen in your vision, excluding one crucial part that the men don’t need to know. You know if they did they would try and stop you. But your heart aches and you put on a fake smile so that no one would expect a thing. 
Everything was set to go. A long message meant to play for Wanda after it was already too late. This would be your last mission. Wanda and Nat would have all that they could ever want. You wouldn’t be the burden that you know you are. They should have just left you dead if they were going to do this to you. So you made that decision for them. You weren’t going to come back from this mission alive. 
The mission was going perfectly. Playing out exactly as you had seen it. Bucky and Clint were together and far away from you. You snuck into the building off the side. It held some hostages that had been taken by Hydra. You snuck in taking out every agent that you passed. It didn’t take long for you to make it to the hostages. You were able to release them from their binds and get them out of the building safely. But you knew it wasn’t over yet. Bucky and Clint were waiting exactly where you told them too. Having each hostage run towards them for safety while you stood with your back towards the open area. 
You waited knowing what was to come soon. You could change the outcome but you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to be in a world where Wanda loved someone else. You waited with bated breath as the last hostage ran towards your teammates. You exhale the air in your lungs before a sharp pain in your stomach is felt. You grit your teeth turning around firing off a few rounds, but you're hit with another round to the shoulder. You can hear the muffled sounds of Bucky and Clint calling out for you but you push through. Another shot to the leg sends you kneeling on the ground. You push through the pain as you stand. A few steps forward as you unload your mag into the man. Another man appears with his finger on the trigger of his gun. You watch as an arrow sores through the air and hits the man directly in the chest. His finger squeezes the trigger as he falls. You’re hit with the array of bullets. Your body sways before falling to your knees then falling to the ground. The ground below you stains red as your body goes cold. 
Wanda felt a change in the universe. She cries out causing Nat to panic next to her. Wanda clutches her chest in pain. She felt this twice before. Once when Pietro died, the second when you died fighting Thanos. She had never wanted to feel that pain again but here she is feeling it. The world stops turning at that moment. Not again she thinks tears streaming down her face. 
The doorbell rings but Wanda doesn’t hear it. Nat tries to console the younger woman pleading for her to tell her what is going on. It continues to ring when no one answers until Nat gets up and finds out what is going on. Wanda sits sobbing on the couch. Nat walks back in with a folded paper with your hand writing on it. Wanda scribbled on the top. 
Wanda sees this snatching the paper from her hands and quickly opening it before reading the words delicately written across the page. 
My dearest Wanda,
You’re reading this because I’m gone. I’m sorry to do this to you
but I can’t live life like this. I know that you no longer love me.
I see the way you look at Natasha and I know she is now
the love of your life. I want you to be happy. I saw this coming
and I could have changed it but who am I to keep you from the 
one you love. Don’t mourn for me, just live your life. You don’t
have to worry about me anymore and you can be happy, that 
is all I have ever wanted for you. But my love I can’t live in
a world where you love someone else. So this is goodbye.
Love,
Y/N
Tears hit the paper blurring the words in front of her. Wanda’s heart shatters into a million pieces. How could this have happened? How could she have thrown away all that you two have? She is absolutely disgusted with herself and with Nat. This isn’t how it was supposed to go but she was blinded and now her eyes are finally open but now it could be too late.
Through the tears Wanda gets up making her way out the door and immediately taking off towards the compound. Her magic lifts her into the sky as she flies as fast as she possibly can to the one place she knows you would be. Praying that maybe it was all wrong, maybe you can be saved. Nat calls out for her as she leaves her alone standing in the yard. 
The ground cracks below Wanda’s feet as she lands hard on the ground. Anger and guilt pumping through her veins as she walks towards the building. Her magic slamming doors open as she makes her way to the med bay. Your body is already lying there. Bucky and Clint talking outside the room. Windows lining the wall as they keep looking back at your body. Wondering what they would tell the angry redhead but they didn’t have to wait too long. They spot Wanda fear and sorrow on their faces. “Wanda we can -” Clint is cut off. “Save it.” 
Wanda makes her way into the room. The boys walked away looking like kicked puppies. Wanda’s breath picks up as she sees your still body encased in a black bag. The top half of it unzipped revealing your pale skin and blood staining your suit. You look so peaceful like you could be sleeping. Wanda cups your cheek, a light jerk of her hand when she feels how cold you are. She lets her magic slip out the ends of her fingers going into your head. Fresh tears streaming down her face. “I can’t feel you.” A sob wracking her body. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry love you never deserved any of this.”
Wanda silently sobs as she sits next to you. Your hand in hers as she just stares blankly at your body. The door clicks open a while later. Wanda doesn’t turn to look. “Go away.” Her voice is hoarse from all the crying but she doesn’t care. “Wands.” Nat whispers. “I said leave.” Wanda’s voice raises as her head snaps towards the door red swirling in her eyes. Nat knows she is just upset so she doesn’t back down. “Detka.” She whispers. “Don’t you dare detka me.” Wanda stands letting your hand drop off the side of the bed. “This is all your fault. She is fucking dead because of you.” Wanda seethes. “Don’t put that blame on me Wanda. You're just as much the problem.” Wanda stalks towards Nat red surrounding her body and slamming her into the window, a crack forming behind her body. “Don’t you fucking dare blame me. It should have been you. You should have died back then. I would still have her. She is more of a woman than you will ever be. I let myself be blinded by you. Blinded by the love you gave but I didn’t love you. I don’t fucking love you.” As hard as Nat can be, Wanda's words cut deep. Tears shine in her eyes as she holds back a sob. Wanda sends Nat’s body flying through walls until she lands outside. Wanda follows as she does so. Releasing Nat’s body which is now battered and bruised. She then flies off into the night. 
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It’s been months since anyone has seen Wanda, held up in a small cabin in the middle of nowhere surrounded by mountains. Some have tried but they always get blasted out so they stopped trying. She has been lost to the Avengers and they aren’t sure they could ever get her back. The day they lost you they also lost her. 
Wanda’s black tipped fingers comb through a book. A very dangerous book. The more she searches the darkness in her soul grows and the blacked tips grow. She has tried everything in the book to bring you back to life but none of it works. She had another attempt today, something new, something hopeful but it ends with a magical outburst throwing everything in the cabin. She continues to comb through the pages ignoring the disarray around her. She closes her eyes and lets her magic do the work. It’s not long before she finds something new. She thought she had seen all that this book had to offer. All that the Darkhold had to offer to the Scarlet Witch. 
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You are sitting in your living room, two small boys cuddled into each of your sides as you watch a movie. Empty bowls of ice cream sitting on the coffee table that you have your feet propped up on. You laugh as your son Tommy tries to mimic you. You other son Billy giggling along. Tommy huffs and crosses his arms. “Not funny.” He mumbles. You can’t help but ruffle his hair which makes him swat at your hand causing you to chuckle. “One day buddy you will reach it.” You kiss the top of his head. All of you falling back into the silence, the only sound is the movie playing. 
Your mind flashes to a vision of Wanda but not your Wanda standing in the middle of your living room. Her face twisted into something you can’t even imagine in your wildest dreams from the woman you loved. The pain that she has caused to get to this point. As your world comes back to you you are met with a star shaped portal in the middle of your living room. What was once an image in your head now in front of you. 
Wanda’s hand wraps around the young girl's throat in front of you. “What did you do?” She seethes. The two boys next to you are terrified. You quickly stand and tell them to run but Wanda’s head snaps towards you. The couch you were once on is now thrown at the stairs blocking the way. You push your boys behind you in a protective manner. Wanda’s eyes trailing the boys curiously, a small warm spot forming in her heart seeing your protective nature. She didn’t expect to find you with kids but she always wanted a family with you so it can’t hurt. 
“Wanda!” You yell at her. Wanda is startled by the anger in your voice. You have never yelled at her like that. “Let the girl go.” You demand of her. Her hand slips from the girl's neck as she coughs on the ground holding her throat. Wanda starts stalking towards you but you back up with your boys behind you. 
Billy tugs on your shirt a little trying to get your attention and you quickly look back at him. “Is that Mama?” His voice sounds so small. Your attention quickly turns back to the woman in front of you who has stopped. You can see tears in her eyes at Billy’s words. “That is not your Mama.” You shake your head. You can see the hurt on Wanda’s face as she gets closer to you. “I can be.” She says a crack in her voice. 
You start to walk towards the woman but your boys try to stop you. You motion that you will be ok as you stand in front of Wanda. “You could never be my Wanda.” She falls to her knees, her hand on her chest as she looks up at you. “I can see your hurt and your pain but you have caused so much more and for what.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I did it for you.” She whispers. “I would never want you to do this for me. Wanda you murdered people. Good people.” Wanda stands back up and moves towards you, her hand reaching out to cup your cheek. You back up away from her touch. “I wanted you back.” You scoff and shake your head. “After seeing what you did I could never want you. I miss my Wanda but you are not her and could never be.” 
Wanda’s face twists in anger. You try to back up again but she is quicker this time. She grabs your wrist in her hands. “Wanda that hurts.” You whimper as she digs her nails in. “Too bad. I’ll make you love me just you see. Now that I have you back I will never let you go again.” There is a panic that rises in you. “We will have the perfect little family.” She looks behind you. “Won’t we boys?” They are too scared to say or do anything just holding onto each other for comfort. 
Wanda keeps one hand on you as she turns around. Her wrist flicking as America is thrown back through the portal. It dissipates from the middle of the room before she turns back to you. You struggle to get free but she is stronger than you remember. She clicks her tongue and looks at you, her hand finally reaching to cup your cheek. Red whisps leave her fingers as they sink into your mind. “All mine now.” She replaces every memory and thought of your Wanda with her. Changes the fear to love. You’re hers now and no one will change that. Her magic soon flowed into the boys having the perfect little family. She would tear the world in two to keep you and the boys forever. 
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thoughtless-muse · 2 days
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a/n: the title (and some other parts of the story) are inspired by the song ‘bad blood’ by taylor swift and no, i am not ashamed of it lmao. this is my first time ever diving into this type of story, so I’m equal parts excited and terrified. if you have any critiques/tips, please let me know below! also, “scout’s honor” is by no means abandoned. I’m going to be writing/posting chapters of each story at their own pace :)
chapter summary: you had been alone for over a month now, combating against stumbling dead people who slobbered for your flesh. when a random stranger finds you in the aftermath of a blackout, the last thing you expected was for him to ask you to join his group. but he did, and in a desperate move to escape those four walls, you accepted – not knowing at all what was in store for you.
word count: 2.4k
c/w: canon-typical violence/gore, sassy!reader, fem!reader, language, past-established relationship, very subtle allusions to a troubled past
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prologue
“hey, lady, are you, uh… are you okay?”
the words were garbled and a tad distorted, and for a moment, you thought you’d merely conjured the voice from the depths of your frayed conscious — but the boyish face that stared down at you when you fluttered your eyes open threw that theory straight out of the window.
for a moment, you simply stared in silence. you stared at the boy’s face, taking note of the pink flush of life to his flesh — not gray, not rotted, not bloody; pink. his face was clammy, sweaty, with the skin pulled in different directions to paint an expression of worry; an honest to god expression.
a person. this was a living, breathing, real person standing above you. at least, he seemed real enough, but —
“are you real?”
the question bubbled, croaky and hoarse, past your lips before you could reign it in. the boy scrunched his bushy brows together and his squinted eyes narrowed until they were near closed. a clear expression of confusion. huh, another expression.
“um, yeah, I am.” the boy responded, though, in his bewilderment, the statement sounded more like a question than a fact. a laugh wrenched itself from your chest.
“you don’t sound too confident about that, mystery man.”
“I-I’ve just never been asked that question before.” the boy sputtered, a tad defensively, lips pulling into a frown. expression after expression from this one, it seemed.
“I haven’t had to ask that question before,” you grumbled out. pain pinched your ribs when you propped yourself up on your elbows, no longer feeling the need to lay flat on the warm pavement. “don’t exactly see new faces in the city much, let alone breathing ones.”
“you mean you’ve been in the city this whole time?” the boy exclaimed quietly; his eyes were wide now, revealing orbs the shade of dark chocolate. they weren’t fogged over, dead, or unseeing, but glassy and expressive. human.
a ragged, raspy croak broke off your sentence before you could even start it. your muscles jolted in response, but before you could react, the boy let out a shocked yelp that was followed quickly by a wet squelch right next to you. you trailed your eyes down to find a small hand-ax splitting the rotted flesh of the groaner to your right. the one you swore you’d killed not long ago.
“huh. thought I got that one,” you noted mellowly, swinging your eyes back up to the boy to give him a small nod. “thanks.”
“yeah, uh, no problem.” the boy panted, returning your nod. his eyes darted from side to side before he thrust out a hand to you. all you could do was stare at it.
“it’s not safe out here in the open. we should really get inside a building or something,” the man suggested, words edged with subtle nervousness. you scanned your surroundings slowly; there was a cluster of groaners shuffling towards you, but they were at least twenty yards away — not much of a threat given the granny crawl they were traveling at.
mystery man, however, became more nervous at the sight of them.
“c’mon, I know a place that’s clear. it’s not far from here.” he urged, extended hand trembling faintly. you let out a huff and grasped it with your own. your ribs bloomed with pain once again when the man hauled you up, but you bit back the groan that it prompted; you’d had worse than this, and you’d long since learned to suck it up and just keep truckin’.
when you were stable on your feet the man released your hand and reached down to free the hand-ax from the fallen groaner’s head, his face scrunching in disgust at the wet sucking sound the action elicited. it actually amused you to an extent.
“okay, mystery man, lead the way to safety.” you stated flippantly, manipulating your arm in a ‘the stage is yours’ sort of gesture. the man gave you a bit of a stinky side-eye before jerking his head to the left.
“it’s just this way,” he whispered. he padded to the sidewalk quietly, head whipping in each direction, body tense as if he expected a groaner to simply jump out unannounced at any moment.
what a scaredy cat, you thought jocularly.
“also, my name is glenn, not ‘mystery man.’” he added in a mutter.
you merely hummed in acknowledgment, more so for the man than yourself; you knew that by sundown he’d be gone with the wind, you’d forget all about this glenn fellow, and his name would be lost to your memory forever. no point in trying to stick it there in the first place.
silently, glenn led you through skinny, trashed back alleys and skirted past dilapidated structures, until at last he reached a large brick building. the door, which looked to be some sort of emergency exit, was a cool, gray metal, the hinges lined with rust and the surface slightly bleached from the harsh rays of the sun.
“it’s in here,” glenn murmured, grasping the handle and yanking it open. the hinges gave a deep, audible screech as he did so. “we cleared this out a few days ago.”
“we?” you parroted, trepidation flaring in your gut. it was fine when it was just glenn, but the thought of a group of people, one composed of unknown numbers, set off all kinds of alarms in your head.
groaners you could handle any day of the week; they were predictable, simple — just ambling corpses with no real thought process. humans… humans were different. complex, unpredictable, dangerous.
glenn noticed immediately when you hadn’t followed him through the threshold of the door; he glanced back at you, brows scrunched once more in confusion — it only took him a few moments to register the look upon your face before his eyes were widening and he was sputtering, “o-oh, it’s fine, my group isn’t – uh, they’re not dangerous. they won’t hurt you. and in any case, they aren’t w-with me today – I always make runs alone.”
“I’m s’posed to take your word for it?” you shot back, eyes narrowed dangerously. glenn gulped audibly and flicked his eyes between you and the interior of the building, lips working without producing any sound. he looked so helpless, like a lost puppy, that you couldn’t stop yourself from deflating.
“I believe you,” you uttered. “at least, I will for now. I mean, you don’t look all that dangerous. I reckon I could knock you on your ass in two seconds flat.”
a threat wrapped up within a petulant jab; not exactly your proudest moment, but part of you felt cornered, and it seemed to get the job done. glenn’s eyes flashed with surprise, and maybe a bit of fear, and his voice was less than stable when he murmured, “there’s no one else in there, I swear.”
the tense set of his shoulders, his wide eyes, and the shakiness in his voice seemed so genuine, that you couldn’t help but bark out a laugh.
“are you actually scared of me, mystery man?” you jested, genuinely bemused by how sincerely glenn considered your concealed threat. was he actually taking you seriously? glenn’s throat flexed as he swallowed and nodded.
“well, I just watched you take down about a dozen geeks with just a pocket knife; so, yeah, kind of.”
you chuckled to yourself and gave glenn a once over. maybe he wasn’t so bad, after all. he appeared genuine and harmless. kinda cute, too; in an innocent, boyish way, of course – boyish had never exactly been your style, but you could enjoy the aesthetic of it.
“well, glenn, why don’t you go ahead and show me around?” you purred, rolling his name across your tongue and not bothering to wait for a verbal confirmation. you pushed past glenn and into the dank, dusty building, eyes immediately sweeping across the bare shelves and stained walls. not a groaner, nor human, in sight.
glenn ambled further in and shut the door behind him with a soft whoosh and click. the room became near saturated in darkness, the only light being that of the sunlight filtering weakly through the gaps between the boards nailed to the windows. glenn wasn’t lying when he said it had been cleared out, but he didn’t mention anything about it being groaner-proof.
“is this, like, where your group stays or somethin’?” you inquired, your eyes narrowed and scrutinizing of every detail. there were no mats or makeshift beds that you could see, no visible provisions, and the space lacked the tell-tale signs of human inhabitance.
“oh, no, uh, this is just a rendezvous point – or, it will be. like I said before, I mostly do runs on my own.” glenn passed by you as he explained, coming to a kneel in the middle of the floor where the sunlight was most luminous. he slipped a large, beige bag from his shoulder and planted it on the ground, flipping the top and burying his hand inside.
“runs?” you wondered aloud, watching the man closely as he began to pull items from the bag one by one. medical gauzes, bottles of hydrogen peroxide, boxes of bandaids, a couple cans of vegetables occupied the space beside him bit by bit.
“yeah, runs. we made a camp a while back, at an old quarry just outside the city. food and water aren’t much of issue there, but other things” – glenn glanced up at you a bit sheepishly – “well, they run short sometimes.”
“so they send you out alone to get them?” you surmised, prompting an airy chuckle from the kneeling man.
“ah, no, I actually offered. I know the city like the back of my hand. getting in and out is no problem for me.”
you nodded your understanding, chewing the tender skin on the inside of your cheek – you were inclined to believe glenn, considering he had yet to prove himself untrustworthy, but there was something that was gnawing at you; something that you needed some clarification on.
“so, uh, if you came out here to get supplies, why’d’ya come over to me? and why did you bring me here?”
glenn paused his task for a brief moment before sighing softly. his lips thinned as he seemed to ponder how to answer.
“because I made a promise to myself. I told myself that if I ever ran across someone here in the city, I’d ask if they want to come back with me,” glenn answered quietly, though by the clench of his jaw, you could tell he wasn’t quite done with his explanation, so you bit back the other questions swirling on your tongue. “I guess I just hoped to myself that if the roles were ever reversed, someone would do the same for me.”
the residual tension that had been locking up your shoulders ever since entering the building drained away like a river to the ocean. you smiled softly and plopped down on the floor a few feet away from glenn. with a teasing warmth in your chest, you queried, “so you saw me and decided you wanted me to come home with you?”
glenn rolled his eyes, but the flush in his cheeks betrayed the effect your suggestive comment had on him.
“not like that, it’s just – it’s just that things aren’t as easy as they used to be. your best chance at survival is with a group.”
“I’ve done fine on my own,” you responded back flippantly, planting your palms behind you and leaning your weight back atop them. “I mean, I’ve been here since it started.”
glenn swiped his tongue over his bottom lip nervously, scanning through the contents on the floor before rapidly scooping them back into his bag.
“yeah, I, uh, I noticed that you’re capable. it’s just that – things won’t always be so easy, you know?”
irritation shot through your chest like a hot lance, your somewhat good mood ruined instantly.
“did I say it was easy?” you seethed, anger punctuating your every movement as you swung your hands back in front of you and leaned forward.
just as it had at the door, glenn’s mouth began to open and close rapidly as he tried desperately to recover. his wide eyes flicked down to your waistline, the area he knew held your pocket knife, and he scooted back a small bit while simultaneously dragging his bag in front of his body; an attempt to keep distance between the two of you.
“I-I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant that – that without a group, surviving will get harder and harder.”
you weren’t entirely sure if it was from lack of sleep, stress, or the cursed, buried memories that had been incessantly dragging themselves back up despite your multiple efforts to keep them down, but you had been highly irritable the last few days. every time you closed your eyes, you saw his face, you heard his voice, taunting you with the sweet nothings he whispered long ago. you still felt his phantom touches that had long since grown cold.
you just wanted it to stop.
you wanted to find the strength to throw that little box out of the fucking window, and to burn that one shirt he left, the only things left to remind you that he wasn’t just some conjured fever dream. that’s why you’d been out in the street in the first place, drawing as many groaners as you could to yourself just so you could picture his face as you plunged your knife through their soft, rotten skulls.
and maybe, just maybe, find the strength to drop the knife and let it end.
but you just couldn’t. you couldn’t throw the box out, you couldn’t burn the shirt, and you most definitely couldn’t let yourself die; it went against everything he taught you.
with a sigh, you opened your eyes, which you had never even remembered closing, and regarded glenn once more. his eyes were still wide, clouded with something that was a mixture of nervous and worried, his hand trembled atop his bag, and his bottom lip wavered.
“you said you promised yourself that you’d invite whoever you found in the city to your camp, yeah?” you quizzed, the question one that glenn had not expected you to ask, if the brief confusion on his face was any indicator. after a moment’s hesitance, glenn nodded.
“yeah… our camp is pretty well established, and I know we’ve got room for others. does that, uh – does that mean you want to come back with me?”
you’d never second guessed your choices, nor the consequences of those choices, and you weren’t about to start now — so, with a cheeky smile and a wink, you purred,
“sure thing, glenn. I’ll come home with you.”
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a/n: so I recently checked my analytics and uh… 114 followers?? what??? like I’m — I’m speechless y’all. thank you so so much I can’t even begin to express how much it means to me <3 I promise I’ll be doing my best to dutifully deliver content to y’all as fast as possible <33333
TAGLIST: @daryldixmedown @alanalanalanalanalanna @just-always-tired @chylerluvschim @girlydollydarling @marvelcasey05
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21wanderer · 3 days
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Benchwarmer
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“Are you going to sit there all day, Rick?” the trainer asked his best rugby player, who sat almost motionlessly on the bench. “Yeah, I’m sorry” he replied trying to sound unwell, but not too sick either.
“My stomach has been acting up all day,” he lied trying to get the nosey trainer to leave him alone. He tried his best to look like he really wanted to be here, whilst being too unwell to actually participate. Practice had just started, there was about one and a half hour to go, and the waiting time was making him anxious.
---
He had prepared everything, signed up for an activity before the rugby team arrived to have access to the same locker room, replaced Rick’s water bottle with an identical one, but with the bodysuit serum and an acute laxative added, even made copies of the bathroom key and written the whole meticulous plan down in every detail to make sure nothing was overlooked. But if he thought that slipping on Rick would be a piece of cake, he was sorely mistaken. For all his planning he had forgot to account for the size of the bathrooms.
The bodysuit serum had done his trick by the time he let himself into the bathroom with the unconscious Rick, and he had managed to separate Rick’s head from his body, so he could slip into him, but crammed into the tiny bathroom, that just wouldn’t work.
He needed more time... and space, but he couldn’t risk anybody walking in on him. He carefully unlocked the bathroom door peering into the empty locker room. He had an idea, hopefully it would work, he obviously couldn’t afford to mess this up.
Rick’s teammates had already called for him, and he had been in the bathroom for almost 15 minutes, he needed to get out there, before they became suspicious.
Jolting out of the bathroom, he headed straight for Rick’s bag and rugby gear, from the bag he pulled out Rick’s sub suit as well as his socks and boots. He retreated to the bathroom with it, and it was much easier to pull on. The baggy suit would be the best way for him to hide his body, whilst he pretended to be Rick.
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He slipped into the slightly amorphous suit, zipping everything, then quickly pulled on Rick’s socks and boots. The socks obviously hadn’t been washed since last practice, but he didn’t mind at all. That aroma would belong to him soon enough. He then grabbed Rick’s lifeless face and slipped it on, and he needed to do it quickly. Plunging his head into the hollow throat, he soon found the eye-holes and from there, he could begin to adjust the mask, making sure eyes, nose, mouth and ears all were aligned properly.
From any outside perspective he looked exactly like Rick, and as long as he kept the suit on, nobody would know. Checking if the coast was clear again, the Rick-imposter left the bathroom. He stuffed the headless Rick-suit into a locker and locked it, he would have to retrieve it after the game. He checked himself one last time in the mirror, the face was animate, Rick’s charismatic face moved as if it was his own. But he did not feel safe yet, if anybody saw the unfit body underneath…
---
With everything securely zipped, he made his way to the field outside, but headed straight for the benches. Now all he had to was to be patient and wait, it would be so worth it, once the waiting time was over. And although he was nervous, it did feel good to finally be in the position, where people saw him as Rick, being dressed in his clothes, seeing the world through his eyes. Soon the rest of the athlete’s body and life would be his. He just needed for practice to end, and for everybody to go home. Then he could take the final step.
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c0mbatchameleon · 2 days
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hi anna my love would you mind telling us what the possession au is about 🥺🤲🏼💗
LUNEEE ABSOLUTELY ABSOFRUITLY I CAN.
Ok so the tldr here is James is a demon that possesses reg. This all came from a drunk 3am note in my phone about the “intimacy of literally inhabiting the same body, to become a singular noun; my thoughts are yours now, you don’t even know where you end and I begin, your soul would feel so empty without me here to fill in all the gaps” etc etc. Right ok. Long ramblings below, be warned.
So picture regulus, our resident high-strung control freak who has lived as a puppet on a string at the whims of his family ever since he was a teenager and they began staging him to join / eventually take over their major capitalist conglomerate empire or whatever. Iffy on the details still but there’s a lot of politics involved. Think like the richest of the rich in the world and they want to keep their family on the top—regulus is their vessel to do so.
And the thing is, he goes above and beyond. He gave up on trying to escape the life he’s been (to him) imprisoned in a long time ago, and his (perceived) lack of control and agency has only driven him to climb higher, hungry for even more disgusting amounts of wealth and power, fuck everyone else, he wants to be at the fucking top, and maybe then he’ll be free. He’s terrible and he’s miserable and he’s everything they wanted him to be, he feels like a slave to time and to the life that was carved out for him, and it manifests in him exerting extreme amounts of control over the one thing he can have some semblance of control over, which is his own body.
(slight tw for disordered / obsessive eating / body habits?)
Picture him scheduling his days down to the minute. He wakes up at 5:30am everyday after getting the exact amount of sleep to complete five rem cycles, he has a strict workout regimen every day perfectly planned out for the week, meals all the same mapped out down to the calorie. You’d think he’s in the army. His skincare routine puts patrick bateman to shame. He jerks off once a week cuz he thinks it has health benefits or keeps him sharp or something (if you’ve watched The End of the Fucking World I’m pretty sure this is where my brain subconsciously picked this from) and it’s mechanical and he’s dead in the eyes and he knows it will take him exactly 5 minutes and 8 seconds to come.
And then. Suddenly. He’s having weird dreams about some man he doesn’t know and they’re making him feel things when he has specifically trained his body to NOT feel things and what’s happening to him? And then dreams become daydreams. And then he’s losing time. HES LOSING TIME. Which is literally his worst nightmare. It’s making him fuckinf spiral, his routines are being thrown off, the small semblance of control is slipping, so he’s already at his wits fucking end when a goddamn voice in his head starts talking to him. Like that’ll do it.
But then the voice, the man, the figure from his dreams, James, is telling him to relax. Telling him you’re so wound up. I can feel it, you know? How tired you are. It’s okay baby, let me take the reins for the day. You just have to sit back up in that head of yours—of ours—and let it all turn to static for a bit. Don’t worry. I’ll give you your body back tonight. Don’t you trust me? Wouldn’t it feel good to just.. let go for a bit?
And eventually regulus discovers that it DOES feel good. He fucking loves it. He gives up control willingly for the first time, he lets James do it all for him, to move him around like a puppet in the most literal sense but it’s different from his family, from everyone else. It’s freeing.
and it’s like this weird corruption-anticorruption thing because yes james is influencing him and planting thoughts in his head and literally taking over his body at points but it’s all to make him do…kinda good things? “Fuck the company, don’t show up today, let’s go to the coast like you used to as a kid,” “don’t pick up the phone, I know you’ve never declined your mother’s call before, but just try. Don’t you feel powerful?” Until eventually reg is sabotaging the company, his family, he’s basically suicide-bombing the stock market, he’s giving all his money away, etc etc. he’s more free than he’s ever felt in his life and to the outside world he looks absolutely insane and, shit, maybe he is, but it feels fucking amazing.
I just love the thought of James’ more mundane influence on him too. He’s craving hot Cheetos for the first time in his life and absolutely appalled and confused and James is like “shit my bad I was thinking abt them.” James has him smoke weed for the first time (the scene I have planned for this……) and he has to take over to roll the joint for him. Why the fuck is reg enjoying abba music? But also—why the fuck is a demon enjoying abba music?
I’ve rambled way too much so I’ll reign it in there. Lots of details subject to change, but this is basically all I’m thinking abt these days.
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dwtdog · 2 days
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Nursing Home AU, from the list of reverse tropes
DNF, ~1.7k words, fun little drabble as a break from finals :33
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George’s walker catches on a stray piece of carpet and he grumbles, waving off the nearby nurse who turns her head toward him. He can handle this himself, thank you very much.
He straightens his back as he nears the door that he knows opens to the room just above his, all the complaints he’s built up in the weeks since his upstairs neighbors moved in at the tip of his tongue as he raises a fist to knock, grunting slightly at the way his shoulder creaks with the effort.
After three quick, hard knocks that he’s sure will be audible through whatever hearing impairment burdens the person behind the door, he studies the decorations with a careful eye. There are unframed pictures scattered across the door, some close to falling off the weak adhesives that secure them. George has to hold himself back from pressing them back down, telling himself that whoever is pictured in them probably deserves to have their treasured family pictures swept up by the night workers.
Because they’ve made George’s life a living hell.
He didn’t think his time in a nursing home could get any worse, until this neighbor moved in. It was like they had bricks attached to the bottoms of their shoes and frequently performed tap dancing routines, or like they had a particularly rambunctious pet elephant that traipsed around the place at all hours of the day.
George had done his best to be patient. He really had, but it’d been long enough. He’s dealing with this here, and now.
As if summoned by his thoughts, the door handle turns, and the solid wood slowly eases open towards him. He shuffles back to avoid being hit, because he doesn’t exactly trust them to be caring of his health now.
The deep frown that he’s been wearing since he was awoken that morning by thundering footsteps directly above his bed shifts to something softer when he sees the man opening the door.
The first thing George notices about him are the eyes- a golden yellow that he knows is really green, set in a kind face weathered with smile lines. The second thing George notices is that he does not, in fact, have bricks attached to his shoes, and that brings the frown right back to his face.
“Uh- Hello. How can I help you?” the man asks, and he sounds nice enough. George thinks it’s an elaborate front.
“Are you aware,” George starts, bringing his eyes up from the mans shoes. “That there are people living below you?”
He blinks. “It would be pretty weird if they didn’t, yeah?”
“So you are aware them,” George clears his throat, crossing his arms. ��That you should consider that before stomping around up here like a bull with dementia?”
George almost finds it satisfying, to watch the way his expression goes from open and friendly to sour, the way his stance comes to mirror George’s, down to the crossed arms. 
“So it’s a sin for a man to walk around his own house now is it?” he says, and George finds it hard to take him seriously with the ridiculous hat covering silvery hair- it’s pointed at the corners, taking a shape similar to the ears of a cat. “Just turn down your hearing aids.”
“Don’t need them,” George says curtly, rubbing a finger over the skin of his left ring finger, a habit he hadn’t dropped since his divorce. It draws his eyes to the same place on the man across from him, and he notices that he wears no ring either. “And it is a sin if you’re disrupting my sleep.”
He looks ready to argue back, but his eyes dart down to the movement of George’s finger, and he seems to change his mind. “Listen if you want to debate the bible, the lady three doors down can go for hours. Let’s say, instead, you come in for a cup of hot chocolate. Get all your complaining out.”
George shifts on his feet, feeling his hip pop as he does, and it reminds him that sitting down sometime soon would be nice….
“Fine. But if there’s no vodka in that chocolate I’m stealing something.”
With a small smile that makes George’s heart flutter in a way it hasn’t in decades, the man steps aside, pushing the door all the way open. “I’m Dream, by the way. I don’t think you introduced yourself.”
“George,” he replies as he steps forward, struggling for a moment to lift his walker over the edge between the hall and Dream’s carpet. “Strange name.”
Dream laughs, and George is distracted from looking over every inch of his apartment when a small animal appears, walking with its tail held high. 
“You have a cat,” he observes, and Dream turns from where he’d been pouring milk to heat up. George sets his walker to the side as he ever so carefully crouches down to pet the thing, smiling to himself when it purrs.
“He likes you,” Dream says, and there’s a note of fondness in his voice. “That’s Spirit. He probably hates my stomping just as much as you do.”
“Oh, you’re a smart one then, aren’t you,” George coos, rubbing under the cats chin. He’s a big cat, with long orange fur and some spots of gray on his muzzle, and ridiculously long whiskers that tickle where they brush against George’s leg. “You ought to bite him more. Maybe piss on his bed,” George says in a faux whiper, leaning down as much as he can.
“Oh, so now you’re trying to turn my cat against me?” Dream says, and George nearly jumps from the sudden proximity. “Need a hand up?”
George huffs, glaring at the offered hand but taking it anyway, groaning loudly as he stands. “So you can walk quietly,” he grumbles, eyeing the distance between he kitchenette and his current position.
“Only when I want to” Dream says with a wink, and George really wishes he still had his own cane- a much better weapon. “Come here, sit down before I have to call someone to help you. God forbid that new one- what’s her name- Rosa, god forbid she shows up. She’d have you on the ambulance in a matter of minutes.”
George laughs, following as Dream leads him to a chair in the living area, acutely aware of their still connected hands. “She on this floor too? Sent my neighbor to hospice for a cough. Haven’t seen her since.”
As George lowers himself onto the chair, Dream still doesn’t let his hand go, and George can feel a blush, of all things, creeping up his neck and staining his face.
“You planning to hold my hand forever, or-” George suggests, just as the microwave beeps. “Don’t tell me you microwaved the milk.”
“How else would I do it?” Dream asks, pulling his hand back and turning back to his microwaved milk. “You want peppermint?”
“I want vodka. And I don’t know, on the stove, maybe?”
“Too much work,” Dream says cheerily, and George sighs, long and exaggerated. 
He looks around Dream’s living space as he waits, noting the various pictures with his seemingly excessively large family. It’s not the only thing he’s looking for, but he can’t help but notice the lack of any sort of spouse.
“Snooping around already?” Dream asks as he returns, two steaming mugs in his hands. “You could probably find my whole life’s story on these walls.”
George meets his eye as he hands a mug over, wrapping his easily chilled hands around it gratefully. Dream takes the chair opposite his, and watches as George takes his first sip. As much as he wants to hate whatever microwaved monstrosity is swirling in the mug, he has to admit that it tastes damn good.
“‘T’s good,” he says into the mug, not missing the way Dream’s face lights up at the admission. “Family recipe?”
“Nope, all mine,” Dream says with a grin. “Come on, I know you have questions. Hit me.”
George hums, making a show of thinking it over. The burning question feels too obvious, and too revealing. He’s only just met this man a few minutes ago, he shouldn’t be asking about his love life. And yet-
“No wife?” he asks bluntly, taking a big sip right after. 
Dream laughs, setting his own mug aside as he leans forward, planting his elbows on his knees. “Nope. Never settled down. Always felt like I was chasing something just out of reach, like I needed to wait until the perfect person came along. And now look at me,” he laughs again, this time sounding more forced. “Left in a home to die alone. Probably doesn’t help I only realized it wasn’t a wife I should have been looking for what, ten years ago?”
George leans back in his chair, studying Dream in a new light. “Trust me, men aren’t worth it either. My husband filed for divorce, what, 20 years back? Never even bothered to tell me why. One day there, the next, gone. Took everything too.”
“That why you ended up in Florida? Don’t meet many British people around here.”
“Wanted to die under the sun,” George says easily, the alcohol warming his veins. “London was too grey, too many memories. I always loved it here.”
They sit in silence for a bit after that, only broken by Spirit jumping up to George’s lap with a loud meow.
“So no kids?” George asks, easing one of Spirit’s big paws away from where it’s kneading at his shorts, claws digging into his skin.
“You’ve got the only one on your lap,” Dream says. “Well, grandkid, technically. His mom was mine too.”
George nods, tangling his fingers in the long fur. “You ever think about second chances?”
“I think I’m on third’s by now,” Dream chuckles, meeting George’s eyes curiously. “Why, you rethinking the way you introduced yourself?”
“In your dream’s,” George says with a grin. “But I wouldn’t mind coming over again- to tell you off, probably.”
“And to pet my cat. And drink my vodka.”
“That too,” George nods. “Might need to visit a lot, then.”
“Well,” Dream shifts in his seat, and he appears to be fighting off a smile. It still reaches his eyes, and George can’t help but think of the man he sees on the walls- happy, glowing. Hopeful. “Then I guess I’d have to let you in. As an apology for the stomping.”
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weaveandwood · 3 days
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One-Shot: Midwinter in Waterdeep
Gale/Tav | Angst & Pining | Read on AO3
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Summary:
After the Netherbrain defeat, she thought her life with Gale was all wrapped up in a neat package with a beautiful bow. Life in the tower with its schedules, routine, and walls ended up not being for her. Over a year later, she finds herself on a job in the city again near the Midwinter Festival, searching faces in the crowd.
She found herself searching faces she passed on the street. None of them were him, of course, but did she want them to be? Had his schedule changed in these many months? She purchased a sweet roll at a food cart, her favorite one he had taken her to almost every tenday. Some things don’t change. She thought once that she could, that she could adapt to living in the city for him, for love, thinking adaptability was her strong point. She was mistaken.
AN: A quick one shot inspired by a song. I don't know if this is a sad AU standalone or if it will work its way into my main fic. I've had this idea rattling in my head for about a week. Nothing but angst and some pining.
She didn't know why she took a job in Waterdeep of all places. It was the one city she wanted to forget about in the entirety of the Sword Coast. Her memories of the place ran the gamut, from the highest, happiest bliss to the lowest, most soul-wrenching sadness. 
“Will you join me in Waterdeep as the newest member of the Dekarios clan?” He asked in the Elfsong Tavern, on one knee, more nervous than he needed to be. 
“This is my tower, welcome to your new home, future Mrs. Dekarios,” he said with a smile, crossing the threshold.  
“Is everything okay? You feel distant ever since Withers’s party, my love.” He had a sad look on his face, knowing the inevitable was coming. 
“Let’s cancel the wedding.” He entered his study, barely acknowledging her.  
She had left not long after that while he was teaching at Blackstaff Academy, a note on the entryway table for when he returned. The silver ring he had purchased for her upon their arrival in the city acting as a paperweight. 
I’m sorry. I can’t do this. 
That was over a year ago. Now, she found herself back in the city after signing a contract for what turned out to be a relatively easy job for some quick gold. Desperate times, desperate measures. Turns out being the “Hero of Baldur’s Gate” didn’t go far outside of Baldur’s Gate. Her contract paid for one more night of lodging, so she went on a stroll from her inn down the main street toward the docks. 
Dangerous. Tempting. Stupid. 
She found herself searching faces she passed on the street. None of them were him, of course, but did she want them to be? Had his schedule changed in these many months? She purchased a sweet roll at a food cart, her favorite one he had taken her to almost every tenday. Some things don’t change. She thought once that she could, that she could learn to love living in the city for him, for love, thinking adaptability was her strong point. She was mistaken.
She pulled her thin wool coat tighter around her as she kept walking toward the waterfront. Waterdeep was cold this close to Midwinter. Snow was starting to flurry, people were hurrying around with packages. She turned the corner onto a street lined with large houses, his tower near the very end. 
Dangerous. Tempting. Stupid. 
She looked in windows as she walked by, illuminated with the golden light of candles as families and friends got together for celebrations. If she had never left, would she be at one of these parties, laughing as Gale’s arm draped over her shoulders? Would he be regaling everyone with tales of their grand adventure, or of something an apprentice had done at Blackstaff Academy? Would he finish the story by kissing her hand or cheek, as he loved to do in public? 
Had he found someone else? Moved on? A new future Mrs. Dekarios in the tower, one who is best friends with Tara and Morena, slotting into their life with ease and grace, much better than she ever had a hope to? Is he better off not knowing her anymore? 
She didn’t let her thoughts wander to him often, if at all. Tears threatened to form in her eyes - from the memories or the wind she could not say for sure, but she’d blame the wind anyway. The sun was starting to go down, and her inn was in the center of the city. She could handle herself when it came to physical threats, but the cold was getting more and more biting without the sun to lessen its sting. Just a couple more, then I’ll turn around, she thought. The houses down here were so pretty with their decorations. She smiled to herself halfheartedly. This could have been her life. 
She could hear the celebrations from the house two doors down. That would be the one she turned around at, she decided, wanting to attend their celebration from the outside, if only for a moment. She looked in the window from across the street. The front room was indeed full of people, each with drink in hand, laughing and cheering for someone. She laughed to herself as she saw the illusion of fireworks inside the room, setting the room alight with sparkling magic fit for a midwinter celebration. She missed magic. She saw the crowd part, presumably for the subject of the cheers. 
Her eyes widened. Her breathing quickened.
His hair was longer, a little more grey at the temples. He still tied it up halfway. He still had his beard. The creases by his eyes were a little deeper. 
He was looking right at her, frozen, his brown eyes just as wide as hers. 
She turned quickly to make a hasty escape. She knew it was tempting the gods to come down this street, but hadn’t that been the point? Hadn’t she become addicted to the if only during her time in the city?
“Stop!” she heard his voice behind her. She got three houses down before she felt a hand grab hers, stopping her in her tracks. “Wait. Please,” he said, panting.  
Dangerous. Tempting. Stupid. 
She turned around.
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soiwatchyougo · 2 days
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Bodyguard (2)
Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen
Thankfully the pair managed to watch the film in relative peace.
Mapi complained that it was too predictable, so Ingrid became the defender of rom-coms, reminding her that they weren’t meant to be works of art. Mapi just huffed and watched the rest of the film with a scowl on her face, much to Ingrid’s amusement.
Despite it not being too late in the night, everyone was shattered by the end of the film. It had been an early start for the flight, and the fatigue was slowly catching up with them. Steven nearly dozed off in his armchair, earning him some light-hearted teasing from the rest about his ability to do his job. He brushed them off and went to bed, and everyone else slowly peeled off until Ingrid was the last one left. After three successive yawns, she admitted defeat and went upstairs, quickly completing her skincare routine and changing into her pyjamas, which only consisted of an old tank top and a pair of shorts that only grazed the bottom of her ass. She assumed no one would be seeing her in her nightwear, so she decided to pick comfort over style, armed with the knowledge that even with air-conditioning, Spanish nights were hot.
Just as she was about to turn her light off, she realised her mouth was rather dry. She thought back to the salty paella and decided that it was probably wise to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. Groaning, she left her comfortable bed and padded downstairs, deciding to forgo turning on the kitchen light and instead relying on the pool lights that were filtering through the kitchen window. She could see enough to find the glass cupboard, so she grabbed one and headed towards the tap. She was just about to twist the knob when she heard a rustling sound coming from the pool.
Hesitantly, she put the glass on the side and walked over to the window. Peering out of it, she could make out the shadow of a dark figure fiddling with the sun loungers. She wondered whether to get Steven, but she could guarantee that he was asleep, or Mapi, who she didn’t want to give another reason to tease her.
Hesitantly, she picked a knife up from the rack and tiptoed outside, shivering as the cold night air enveloped her. The figure was straightening the loungers, and Ingrid felt her heart squeeze in fear. They didn’t seem to be on a hunt to kill her, but they certainly looked muscular, and Ingrid wasn’t sure she fancied her chances in a fight.
As she moved closer to the figure, they still hadn’t noticed that she was there. With as much confidence as she could muster, she thrust the knife out in front of her.
“Get out of my villa,” she tried to say sternly, her voice quivering with fear. The figure turned around, and Ingrid nearly jumped out of her skin in fright, all her senses heightened. The person’s face was slowly revealed, and Ingrid nearly thrust the knife into them out of anger.
“Maria,” she said breathlessly, “what the fuck are you doing out here?”
She slowly lowered the knife and sat on the sun lounger, her heart still thudding in her chest. There had been several times in her life when she had felt scared, but she normally had Steven by her side to protect her. This time she was completely on her own, and it felt terrible.
“Shit,” Mapi said, running her hand through her hair, “I’m so sorry- I thought everyone had gone to bed. I was just tidying up.”
She gingerly sat on the sun lounger next to a shaking Ingrid. Hesitantly, she wrapped her arm around her shoulder in comfort. Ingrid tensed, and Mapi was about to move it away and apologise again when Ingrid relaxed, leaning into the Spaniard.
Mapi’s scent was welcoming, and Ingrid finally felt safe enclosed by her strong arm. Her breath was shaky, but feeling Mapi’s chest rise and fall calmed her, helping her to even out her breathing.
Mapi carefully removed the knife from Ingrid’s trembling hand, noticing how the Norwegian’s arm was covered in goosebumps.
“Should we go back inside?” Mapi said softly, her eyes pooled with concern.
Ingrid nodded timidly, letting the Spaniard help her stand up. She waited for Mapi to remove her hand, but it just migrated to the small of her back. Normally she would indignantly tell Mapi off, reminding her that she was an independent woman, but her nerves were so frayed that the gentle pressure was comforting as they walked back into the house.
Returning to her forgotten glass, Ingrid filled it up with water and started heading back to her room when she noticed Mapi was still in the kitchen, leaning heaving against the counter. Her brow furrowed as she noticed the Spaniard lean forward and put her face in her hands, sighing heavily.
“Are you okay?” Ingrid said tentatively.
Mapi flinched slightly, surprise etched on her face as she turned around and noticed Ingrid was still there.
“Yeah,” she said weakly, “sorry, I’m just a bit of a mess.”
Ingrid placed her glass back down and walked back into the kitchen. Mapi may have been a pain in the ass for the whole day, but that didn’t mean Ingrid was going to leave her to have a breakdown.
Mapi waved her off, “No, it’s fine. You go to bed, I’ll be okay.”
Ingrid sighed. Even in her most vulnerable state, the Spaniard was still trying to protect her, but trying to brush off the princess of Norway was useless; Ingrid was too stubborn for that.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong,” she said sternly, pulling out one of the stools by the counter and firmly anchoring herself on it, “so either we can stay here in silence all night, or you can speak to me.”
Mapi shook her head in disbelief, “you’re impossible.”
Ingrid shrugged, a smug smirk on her face. It may have seemed like she was just teasing Mapi, but she truly did care about her bodyguard’s wellbeing. Mapi waited for Ingrid to fire back a quick response, but the Norwegian was serious about getting her to open up.
“Fine,” Mapi said in defeat, “I just feel like I’m screwing everything up.”
Ingrid cocked her head in confusion, “I didn’t die today, so I think you did a pretty decent job.”
“Thanks,” Mapi replied, a grimace on her face. “That’s not all my job is about though. I’m meant to help you feel safe and comfortable, and all I’ve managed to do is nearly scare you to death twice and tease you relentlessly.”
Mapi’s face was pained, and Ingrid felt a wave of guilt washing over her.
“That’s not true,” Ingrid said firmly. “Well, the teasing bit may not be far off, but I’m to blame for that as well. I feel safe around you, and if that doesn’t tell you how well you’re doing your job, then I don’t know what will.”
Mapi nodded unconvincingly, and Ingrid tried to stifle her yawn, the adrenaline slowly leaving her bloodstream and being replaced by exhaustion.
“Come on then,” she said, “If you don’t go to bed soon you won’t get any sleep, and I’m not sure how effective you’ll be then.”
Mapi chuckled and followed the Norwegian out of the kitchen. Just as Ingrid was about to walk up the stairs she faltered, remembering her shorts. They barely covered her ass, and she knew that the Spaniard would get quite a show if she followed her up the stairs. She awkwardly tried to tug them down, hoping Mapi couldn’t see her face turning a light shade of pink under the corridor light.
“What, do you want me to carry you up the stairs?” Mapi joked as Ingrid stopped in front of the first step. She was oblivious to the Norwegian’s struggle and just wanted to get to bed.
When Ingrid didn’t reply, Mapi huffed in annoyance and bent down, placing one arm around the back of the Norwegian’s legs and the other around her shoulders. Before Ingrid had time to react, the floor disappeared from underneath her feet and she was suspended in the air, the Spaniard’s strong arms the only thing keeping her from falling.
She squealed in surprise, but Mapi didn’t let go, tightening her grip around the Norwegian. Her face was set in a determined smirk, and Ingrid searched for any sign of discomfort in her eyes, but she seemed unbothered by lifting Ingrid’s weight.
Instinctively Ingrid wrapped her arms around Mapi’s shoulders as her bodyguard started to carry her up the stairs, princess style. Mapi barely grunted with the effort, and Ingrid tried not to notice how their faces were only inches apart or the feeling of the Spaniard’s muscled chest against hers.
Ingrid knew that if she asked, Mapi would put her down in an instant, understanding her boundaries. Yet the words got stuck in her throat as she clung onto Mapi for dear life, attempting to hide the small smile on her lips. She knew the irony of being carried princess style, but she honestly didn’t care, not when she could feel the Spaniard’s warm breath on her neck or her calloused hands on her bare legs.
When they reached the top of the stairs Mapi carefully placed her back on the floor, grinning as Ingrid attempted to act annoyed. Ingrid huffed and sauntered back to her room, her pink face slowly turning a shade of red. She would have to get Mapi to sign an iron-clad NDA at the end of the trip, although the content that it contained was slowly increasing, each experience with her bodyguard a far cry from her usual stoic composure.
Ingrid groaned as she woke up the next morning, the sunlight filtering through her thin curtains. Due to her run-in with Mapi, she had only managed to steal a few hours of sleep, and even then they were plagued with images of the Spaniard, some more indecent than others.
Regretfully, she pulled herself out of bed and to her ensuite, completing her morning routine with minimal effort. She picked out a stripy bikini and put it on under some denim shorts and a cropped t-shirt, packing her tote bag for the beach before heading downstairs for breakfast.
The table was overflowing with pastries and fruit as Ingrid sat down in the same seat as the previous night, handpicking a few items to put on her plate. Frido and Caro were sitting on the other side of the table, and they stopped their discussion as soon as they noticed Ingrid sitting down, guilty looks on their faces.
Before Ingrid could question them about it, Mapi plonked herself down into the seat next to the Norwegian, immediately piling her plate high with pastries.
“Save some for the rest of us,” Ingrid said teasingly, eying up Mapi’s plate.
Mapi took a large bite of a croissant, the pastry muffling her response. Ingrid raised her eyebrow at her manners, and the Spaniard chewed faster, washing down the rest of her bite with a swig of juice.
“I’m just fuelling up,” she said defensively, “you wouldn’t want to be kidnapped just because I couldn’t run after you, would you?”
“Good to know your abilities are dependent on pastries,” Ingrid said with a sigh, taking a delicate bite of her croissant. She wiped away the crumbs that had accumulated around her mouth with her napkin, scowling as Mapi used her tongue to make hers disappear. She couldn’t quite stop her eyes from focusing on the Spaniard’s tongue, her mind going to dirty places that made her immediately tear them away, shame creeping up her neck in the form of a blush.
“So,” Frido said cheerfully from the other side of the table, “is everyone excited to go to the beach?”
“No,” Caro said, turning her nose up, “I hate the sand.”
“Aww come on,” Frido said, “it’s going to be fun!”
Caro chewed moodily on a piece of mango, and Ingrid couldn’t help but chuckle at her friend’s bluntness.
“ I’m excited,” Mapi said proudly, “I love the beach.”
“Thank you!” Frido said in an exasperated voice, “At least one person is in the holiday spirit.”
At that moment Steven walked into the room, wearing a questionable Hawaiian print shirt. Ingrid’s face dropped in horror at its bright colours, and she nearly exiled him straight away, his wide smile the only thing stopping her.
“I’m in the spirit too,” he announced jovially, sitting down at the head of the table.
The rest of the table burst into laughter. Mapi nearly choked on her croissant and Ingrid had to wipe tears from the corner of her eyes, her bodyguard’s confusion only making her laugh more.
“What?” Steven said in a hurt voice, “Is it my shorts? I should’ve known red was too exotic.”
He barely managed to finish his sentence before he was drowned out by another wave of laughter.
They eventually managed to coerce Steven into changing his shirt into a plain white one, citing safety concerns. He grudgingly agreed and they piled into the car, ready for a fun day at the beach. Caro looked less than enthusiastic, especially when Mapi started to slow the car and expertly parked it next to the coastline, the smell of salt now lingering in the air.
Mapi grabbed her obnoxiously big rucksack from the boot, and Ingrid couldn’t help but scoff, slinging her smaller tote back over her shoulder. Frido and Steven strode ahead, debating where to set their towels up for optimum tanning opportunity and security, and Caro tiptoed behind, refusing to take off her trainers.
Ingrid pulled off her sandals, letting out a sigh of relief as she felt the warm sand seep between her toes. She could hear the waves crashing in the distance, the gentle sound instantly calming her. The beach had always been her happy place, and she couldn’t wait to stretch out on a towel and sunbathe.
“So,” Mapi said excitedly, hoisting her backpack up her shoulders, “what do you want to play first? I’ve got a football, bat and ball or some boules.”
Ingrid shook her head incredulously, “Is that what you’ve got in that massive bag? I was hoping it was a six-pack of beer.”
“Of course not,” Mapi replied defensively, “I think giving alcohol to a princesa would result in an immediate firing.”
“I guess I won’t be sharing any of the wine I have in my bag with you then,” Ingrid said cheekily, pulling out the top of the bottle. Mapi’s eyes widened in shock, and she immediately pushed Ingrid’s hand back into the bag, checking around furtively to make sure no one saw.
“You can’t drink that,” she said in a hushed whisper.
“Why not?”
“Because!” Mapi spluttered, gesturing wildly, “I can’t be responsible for guarding you if you're drunk.”
“Not my problem,” Ingrid said with a smirk. They reached Frido and Steven, who had already started setting down the towels. Ingrid looked for Caro, but the Norwegian was just a speck in the distance; she would eventually find them.
“Anyway, you can’t play any of my games if you’re drunk,” Mapi said with a pout. She haphazardly threw her towel onto the sand, making it very clear it was merely a symbol and that she wouldn’t be spending any time lying on it.
“Oh Maria,” Ingrid said with a chuckle, “the only way I’m playing your games is if I’m drunk.”
Mapi huffed and rummaged in her bag, producing a football. Carefully laying her towel onto the sand, Ingrid watched as the Spaniard started doing keepie uppies. She managed to control the ball for an impressive number of kicks until it went flying, nearly landing on an unsuspecting family. Mapi winced and retrieved her ball, apologising profusely to the scowling father.
Ingrid secretly took a swig of wine and removed her clothing, leaving her just in her bikini. Her skin was already slightly tanned from the previous day, and she knew this bikini complemented her body well, highlighting her best features.
She tried to sunbathe but all she could hear was Mapi apologising to yet another family as her ball went haywire, ruining her peace. Grimacing, she got up rather ungracefully and walked over to the Spaniard. Mapi grinned as she got closer, and Ingrid wasn’t sure what was more blinding; her smile or the sun.
“Have you come to play?” she asked excitedly, handing Ingrid the ball.
Ingrid spun it in her hands before dropping it down onto her foot, performing several perfectly controlled kicks. When her legs started to tire, she kicked it slightly higher and caught it with her hands, smirking at her shocked bodyguard.
“Just wanted to show you how it was done,” Ingrid said, her voice dripping with satisfaction, “try not to hurt anyone with your, uh, attempts .”
She managed to catch a glimpse of Mapi’s jaw swinging open before she turned around and walked back to her towel, making sure to swing her hips slightly. For someone who was scared to walk up the stairs the previous night, she was certainly bold today, all her reservations flying out the window. She had seen the way Mapi’s eyes unconsciously roamed her body, and she knew that even if her bodyguard vehemently denied it, there was some level of attraction between the two of them. Ingrid wasn’t afraid to use that to her advantage as she took another swig of wine, passing the bottle to Frido. Before the Swede could take a sip Mapi ran over, stealing the bottle from her hands. Frido sighed indignantly, trying to grasp the bottle from Mapi’s strong grip.
“No,” she said sternly, clutching the bottle to her chest. She turned to face Ingrid and her eyebrow furrowed in annoyance, “You’re a bad influence, princesa .”
“Oh, I know,” Ingrid said, placing her hands behind her head and lying down. She made sure to make a show of stretching her long limbs, and even though her eyes closed, she could feel Mapi staring at her appreciatively.
“Wine!” Caro said excitedly, finally reaching the group. She prised the bottle from an unsuspecting Mapi and unscrewed the top, taking along a swig of the liquid. “I’ve changed my mind- I don’t mind the beach after all.”
Mapi groaned, “Steven? Any help here?”
“Nope,” Steven said, “I’m reading my book.”
Mapi huffed and sat on her towel like a petulant child, “Great,” she said sarcastically, giving up trying to gain ownership of the wine bottle, which was already half empty.
“It’s okay Maria,” Ingrid said sweetly, “this is only the start.”
“What?”
“Oh, didn’t you know?” Ingrid said nonchalantly, a small smile tugging at her lips, “We’re going clubbing tonight.”
Mapi’s groans were drowned out by cheers from Frido and Caro. She looked out at the sea and wondered if she would still get paid if she magically went missing in it, only to return a week later when the holiday had finished. It didn’t seem likely, and Mapi collapsed onto her towel in defeat, her resistance to the Norwegian princess slowly crumbling every second.
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lunaroserites · 13 hours
Text
Does Heaven Even Know You’re Missing
Paring: Established Bucky X Fem!Reader (Sugar)
Summery: Just a snippet Sugar and Bucky. Steve is alive. Part of the Sugar AU. Inspired by a song of the same name by Nickelback
Warnings: Nightmares, comfort, fluff, no use of Y/N, Not beta'd all mistakes are my own
Word Count: ~1005
Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3
Read Too Sweet here
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Whimpering, you heard whimpering as you stirred awake which caused you to jolt upright and look around. Looking at your phone after you snatched it from the bedside table it read 4:03am. You felt him thrashing a little next to you and the whimpering got louder. Quickly you turned and leaned over him, he was squirming, there was a very evident sheen of sweat over his entire body. 
He had been working on staying in bed for the whole night, it was proving to be a difficult task these last couple weeks. A difficult mission seemed to have rocked him in some way he refused to discuss with you. He didn’t want to scare you, but he was scaring you more by hiding it. He was a stubborn man, proud and terrified you would look at him differently if you knew everything going on in his tangled web of a mind. 
He had told you once that the first time he stayed in bed all night was the first time you stayed over, he didn’t start in bed and end up on the floor in the living room like always. You brought peace to his soul, calmed his racing thoughts and soothed his worries. With you in his arms, he felt safe. 
You quickly pulled the blanket down and off him so he wouldn’t feel confined, you touched the lamp stand, casting a dim amber light over you two. His eyelids were fluttering as his eyes moved frantically under them. You touched his cheek softly and stroked it gently. 
The first time he had a nightmare in bed with you, was scary. You had to call Steve to help. Now you have a routine, you didn’t leave. His grip on your waist wouldn’t allow you to anyway. 
“Bucky,” you cooed softly, “Bucky,” you stroked his cheek gently again and you felt his grip tighten momentarily on your waist. His fingers flexed and gripped the soft fabric of your night dress. He moved and turned over you, tucking his face into your neck and inhaling deeply. 
One, two, three, four, five deep breaths later he collapsed on top of you. His weight was comforting and his intangible murmurs as he came too were almost relaxing. You gently stroked his hair and rubbed his shoulder. 
“Just say you’ll stay and never go,” he mumbled into your ear, his hot breath fanning over your neck. “Never leave me here alone,” your heart broke at the desperation in his hoarse voice. 
“I’m not going anywhere,” you murmured softly into his ear as you kissed his temple. “I’m here forever,” you hugged him tightly. He whimpered into your neck and shifted so you were tucked safely next to his large body, cradled into his chest. 
“The day I finally felt alive,” he said, his voice trembling as he gripped your mid section tightly, holding you tightly to his chest. “Was the day you fell into my life,” he whispered into your hair, his hot breath fanning over your scalp. 
“Bucky,” you said softly. “I love you.” 
“I love you too,” he snuggled closer. 
Sleep didn’t come easy again, every twitch of him against you made you wake up. Every deep breath made your breath hitch. You were afraid he was slipping again, back into his mind. You feared he was caging himself into his mind, screaming for help he wouldn’t dare ask for. 
You felt hot tears well up in your eyes and your breath stuttered out as you tried to calm yourself. He was the one who was having nightmares, he was the one scared and here you were crying because of how it made you feel. You felt selfish. You cared so deeply about him, you fought so hard to make him realize you were there, forever. You weren’t going anywhere. 
“Sugar,” his voice was coarse and thick with sleep. “Honey,” he cupped your tear streaked cheek and turned your face toward him adjusting so he was propped up on his arm. He peered down at you, his eyes swimming with so many emotions you couldn’t place just one. “What’s the matter?” He asked softly. 
You brought your hand up and stroked his stubble covered cheek and let the tears come freely. “I’m worried about you,” you whimpered out. You hated how emotional you were, you were so quick to cry when emotions got high. 
“Ssssh,” he pressed a firm kiss on your forehead. “I’m fine sweetheart, it was just a nightmare.” You took a few deep breaths and tried to compose yourself. 
“It’s more than just a nightmare,” your voice was small, fragile. “You’re slipping again,” you didn’t want to sound like you were accusing him of anything. Something in his eyes broke, you were prepared for him to do what he would usually do, put a wall up and ignore it until it exploded out of the seams. His shuddering breath caught you off guard. 
“I am. I’m sorry I tried to hide it,” he said softly, he was half lying on top of you, his big hands holding your head and stroking your face, his hot breath fanned over your face as he stared into your eyes. “I’m afraid you’ll leave. If you knew about the things I’ve had to do. The things I’ve done.” You went to speak, he shushed you again. “Not before. Now. The things I do on missions. I’m not sure I’m a soul you can save my sweet angel.” 
“Bucky,” you placed your hand over his and slipped your fingers between his. “I’m not leaving. I promised you.” 
“Heaven is going to come for you one day. When they realize you’re missing,” he murmured and rubbed his nose against yours. 
“I traded an eternity to come and hide away with you,” you whispered back, relaxing under his weight as he settled. 
“I’m never gonna give you back,” his voice was soft, and he pressed a gentle kiss on your lips.  You were his sugar, his sweet angel, his everything. 
Feel free to send me a message if you have a request or would like more, or would like to be added to the tag list ❤️
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