#and all this indecision and feeling like i'm wasting time is just making me want to cry. im gonna close the curtains and boot up the xbox;(

[kyouka-supremacy]

hii again!! thank you for answering my asks hehe 😊🤭

Going off from your response (about the bsd ladies ✨), I have some random questions for you 💗

Who is your favourite bsd *female* character?

Who is one female character you'd want to rewrite?

And who is the female character you see the most wasted potential in?

No pressure btw!

Omg hi thank you so much for this ask I love sharing opinions almost as much as I love talking about women 💞💞💞

Favourite bsd *female* character?

All of them LMAO. But Kyouka holds a special place in my heart <3 I mean, I think she's quite objectively the best written female character in this series, if anything because she gets an actual character arc beyond the two occasional chapters of spotlight. I really like the inherent duality of her character in being both a skilled assassin and a little girl (and how it can be both tragic and hilarious! The versatility). Her character arc is sincerely compelling, I'm a sucker for any character who's just doing their very best to be a good person even when it feels like going against their nature. Her backstory is so tragic! Her relationship with her ability is so interesting! But I just love how truly… Strong-willed she is, how determined and resolute she can be; she's truly inspiring. If you ask me, she's got that charm of magical girls anime: sometimes you really need to see little girls defeat unimaginable evils with the power of love to heal your heart. And the fact that she doesn't really fit the trope of happy-go-lucky girl is all the more capturing!! Again, I really love the interior conflict - or coexistence - between her dark, ruthless side, and the side that likes bunnies and crepes and girly things; it makes her so authentically and unmistakably Kyouka. I appreciate how she's the only character who can sort of keep up with the protagonist role to ss/kk and s/kk, and she's only 14 eheh. And I LOVE her interactions with the other characters, so much!!!! I adore her relationship with Atsushi (truly. Not even remotely close to how much I talk about them), and I feel like they truly deserve each other in a lot of ways. The way Kyouka's sharp attitude and blunt personality fit and mitigate Atsushi's eternal indecisiveness and insecurity and the way Atsushi reminds Kyouka every day that she can do good and that she is good. How they saved each other and how they keep saving each other every day. I've said it a lot of times that Atsushi is profoundly selfish and that all good actions he does are to be traced back to some twisted conception of self-survival, but if there's really anyone Atsushi loves selflessly and unconditionally, that has to be Kyouka. If there is such a thing as platonic soulmates, Kyouka and Atsushi definitely are for me; they're just so siblings in a way I can't even put in words. AND AND AND her relationship with Akutagawa I've talked about endlessly before!!! Her relationship with Dazai!!! KOUYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Kyouka and Kouyou chapter my beloved aka the only bsd chapter to pass the Bechdel test). Omg potentially Yosano!!!!! Kenji Kenji Kenji!!!!!!!!! I just. Love Kyouka a lot okay she gets me emotional. Kyouka supremacy forever. (Also, she's dubbed by beloved tpn Emma va Sumire Morohoshi :') )

*Catches breath*

One female character you'd want to rewrite?

Ah, as of now, definitely Teruko. Here's the story I imagine her having: she fought the Great War by Fukuchi's side, as her second in command; despite what her appearance may have looked like back then, she's about the same age as him. She doesn't love or worship him, but she surely admires him a lot; they were comrades and she learnt from him a lot of her ideals on how soldierse have to stain their hands and do horrible, ruthless things in order for the majority of citizens to live safe and happy. She learnt to adore the cause because of him, and she's very loyal to her uniform. She started dressing as a young girl after the war ended, as a way to negate the cruel and traumatic experience of war in her mind and withdraw to the unknowing, happy times of childhood (while still staying her and self-aware; it's just an ephemeral relief). The rest of the story proceeds pretty much as it is in canon, but when Fukuchi reveals to her that he's actually a terrorist working with the doa, she doesn't side with him. She actually feels throughout betrayed, because he had been this pillar of justice and integrity for her, and knowing he was actually a terrorist left her shell-shocked. She DOES act like she's following him, because she is smart and experienced and she knows that she can't take him on her own (differently from Tachihara and Jouno who faced him alone with no backup. Lol. They're a little stupid.), and waits for the moment he lets his guard down to strike and impale him. AND NOT BECAUSE HE ASKED HER TO. WHICH IS HONESTLY TERRIBLE UNDER EVERY ASPECT. Insert here a flashback with her backstory and how Fukuchi himself taught her that justice comes before anything else, because it's the prime tool to serve citizens and pursue world peace. Interior turmoil and trauma for killing the person she respects the most ensues. Now that's how I would write Teruko, because I care about her.

Female character you see the most wasted potential in?

Probably Naomi!!! I love how sly and ingenious she is even in spite of not having an ability, I really hope we'll get to see more of her. I like the theory of her being a projection of Jun'ichirou's ability, although I acknowledge it's problematic in the way it takes away even more agency from her character; even then, it would be cool if she took the form of some kind of sentient ability like Gab in 55 Minutes, or if Jun'ichirou himself was a projection of Naomi (eh. a girl can dream). I really like @frankenjoly's headcanon that she and Mori would be besties, I think about it a lot ahah, I can really see it.

ALSO Higuchi and her ability C'MON I know it's there!!! It MUST be there because bsd so far has been following a very strict pattern where all characters named after writers have abilities, while non ability users are named after novels' characters or non-writers irl people (not to talk about Sakunosuke Oda's The Literature of Possibility passage that's mentioned at the start of the Dark Era novel, with the novel creating a DIRECT connection between writers irl and ability users in the bsd world). I really really hope after this arc is over we'll get an Higuchi arc!!!!

That said, pretty all characters I feel have wasted potential pffttt. Give Lucy and Yosano more screentime!! BRING KOUYOU BACK!!!!!! Finally elaborate on Agatha who's the only female organization leader!!!!! Gin!!!!!!! Wells!!!!!!!!!!

#Sorry for the tag Clau!!!! #kyōka izumi #teruko ōkura #naomi tanizaki #ichiyō higuchi #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #people asks me stuff #Thank you again for the ask (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡

[azalawa-scroggs]

In Which I Kill Miles Edgeworth Repeatedly

I really didn't need to be enabled, but who doesn't like to be enabled? So I signed up for @killacharacterbingo, in order to keep writing my little depresso shots and feel like I'm doing something productive with it. The challenge is to write several fics where the same character dies, and each fic crosses a box on the bingo card. I'm aiming for the black-out. I deeply apologise to all my followers.

More seriously, I know major character death is a big turn-off for many readers, which I fully respect. Feel free to block my tag for it, which will be #Miles Edgeworth Didn't Choose Death (even though in some of them, he will). There will also be specific content warnings where applicable. And MCD will obviously be warned for every time. If I ever miss a warning, feel free to tell me, of course.

Anyway, here is the first of those fics.

These walls echo with your absence

Rating: G Major Character Death Gen Miles Edgeworth & Gregory Edgeworth Tags: Alternate DL-6, Miles Dies Instead, Unhappy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Gregory Edgeworth Needs A Hug, Child's Death

Gregory doesn't die in the DL-6 incident. Instead he has to learn to live with the worst fate that can befall a parent.

Ray drove him home after the funeral. Gregory himself was in no state to.

He sat silently during the ride, clutching at the urn in his hands. His eyes were dry, staring ahead at nothing, as they had been for the whole service. He remembered nothing of it.

“Thank you, Raymond,” he murmured when they arrived. “I appreciate it.”

“Do you have something to eat for tonight?” Ray asked. Gregory smiled at him, touched by his concern even through the fog that had fallen over him. The expression felt foreign, and the muscles of his face stretched painfully, like they had fallen out of use.

“Yes. Don't worry about me, please. I'll manage. Thank you for everything.”

Raymond hesitated, then gave in, biding him goodnight and telling him to take care of himself. Gregory gave another difficult smile and watched as his assistant drove away.

Truth was, he wasn't sure if he had something planned for dinner. He couldn't recall. But it didn't matter. Cooking, eating, it all sounded exhausting.

Gregory knew that this was a dangerous cycle to fall into. The temptation to waste away was great, and all it would achieve was make the people who cared worry about him. He had been so good about it this last week, going through his last check-ups after being discharged from the hospital, giving the police his testimony, organising the funeral. And tomorrow he would be good about it again. He owed it to the people he still had left, so he wouldn't put even more weight on their burden, already so heavy.

But tonight, just tonight, he wanted to give in. To stop fighting for a few hours. He had just laid his only child to rest. He didn't have much strength left to carry him.

He turned the key in the lock, entered the house, turned on the light. The corridor was too cold and too silent, as it had been for seven days. No one came to meet him, no one shouted a greeting to him. Neither did he call out to announce his return as he always used to do, before.

It was startling, how quickly he had lost the habit to say he was back to an empty house.

Miles's snuggly sweater, which he always wore over his pajamas in the winter, still lay discarded on the back of the couch, abandoned in haste. They had been running late for the trial, and Miles had promised to put it away when they came back. Gregory hadn't touched it since.

Suddenly he realised that he'd forgotten to decide where to put Miles's ashes for the few days before he took them to the cemetery. He froze in indecision.

All that was left of Miles was this little urn, and Gregory had completely forgotten to give it a place in the house. His breath stuttered in his throat, his lungs burning. The decision seemed impossible to make now, as his mind stuttered to a halt.

Not Miles's bedroom, the most logical choice. Its door was closed. Gregory wouldn't open it again.

Not Gregory's room. He wasn't strong enough to lay eyes on it every morning, every night.

Eventually he set it on the ground in the living room, just next to the bookshelf. Miles had often sat in that very spot to read, even though Gregory never failed to remind him that there were more comfortable couches barely a few feet farther. But Miles was too impatient. When he grabbed a book, the book grabbed him back, and he needed to start it immediately. At least now he wouldn't get a sore behind from sitting on the floorboards...

He rose up and stood for a long while, paralysed, staring at the urn that stood in his son's place. What was there still left to do? What was he supposed to do now? There was nothing left but this void in his chest. He couldn't bring himself to move, as if somehow his gaze burning into the urn would bring Miles back, or at least let him accept the reality of it all. As if by staying frozen here he could escape the pain tearing him apart.

This was all that remained of him. Just a few bones and ashes which didn't even fill half the urn. He had looked so small in his little coffin, when they had surrendered him to the flames...

He pushed a stuttering, difficult breath out of his lungs, forced himself to move. He had to keep going. There was no other choice. It was too early for bed, so he picked a book from the shelf, barely looking at its title. He sat, not on the floor, but on the couch. He opened the book, read the first page once, twice, ten times. He couldn't think of anything but Miles.

The doorbell rang. He frowned, wondering who it could be at this time of the night. Some well-wisher, perhaps. He wasn't sure he had the strength to deal with that.

For a second he considered staying here until they left. But the bell rang a second time, and he realised the visitor wouldn't let him ignore them. So he got up, closed the book, and went to answer the door.

“… Detective Badd?”

“Edgeworth... once again, all my condolences... for your loss,” he said. For once there was no lollipop in his mouth, and his face looked even more sombre than usual. “May I... come in...?”

Gregory mechanically moved back to let him in.

“Is there something you wanted to discuss?”

“Yes...” Badd took a few more steps, then turned back to face Gregory. “It's about... the trial.”

Gregory grew rigid.

“I already told you. I will not be testifying.”

“They are charging... Yogi. The case... goes to trial tomorrow... there is practically no evidence...”

Gregory pinched his nose. The fools. He couldn't even say he was surprised. “I fail to see how that is of any concern to me.”

Badd sighed. “Is there really nothing... you remember...?”

Gregory's throat tightened. Voices rang in his mind, the visceral fear as Yogi started losing his mind, knowing Miles was in the elevator with them. He couldn't recall a gun being involved. He knew it wouldn't matter to the prosecution. “No.”

“Without your testimony... he will certainly... walk free...”

“As he should, with how much reasonable doubt surrounds his guilt,” Gregory snapped. “The prosecution are fools to move to trial with so little proof. I have nothing to add.”

He would never understand this country's prosecutors' obsession with conviction, conviction, conviction. There was nothing decisive against Yogi. They needed to investigate further, instead of losing time and money indicting a man that was guaranteed to walk free. Gregory couldn't care less about his son's death becoming one more meaningless win on some uncaring attorney's record. He wasn't going to become a tool for that.

“There was... no one else,” Badd said. “This is why... they arrested Yogi. We need to find... the truth... to bring your son justice...”

“My son is dead, Detective,” Gregory retorted, teeth gritted. “Justice can't do anything for him.”

Yogi had no motive. He had just been panicking. There was no reason for him to pick up his gun, steadily point it at Miles's heart and shoot. It made no sense for him to be the culprit. Miles's death had been too purposeful.

Purposeful. Gregory's hands started shaking, his throat burning. Somehow, someone had stepped into that elevator. They had looked at his son, his little nine-year-old son, and they had coldly shot him in the heart. A life full of promise, a thousand possible bright futures, cut short with the press of a finger. Just like that.

It was unimaginable. It was unthinkable. It was monstrous. Who could look at a child and want him dead? Who could see such a harmless, beautiful little being and decide they no longer deserved to live? Why would anyone ever desire to do that?

Did Gregory really want to know? To face that person, in court or otherwise, look them in the eye, and know that they took everything from him for no reason at all? For there could be no reason, no reason at all for anyone to want to kill Miles, innocent and precious Miles, the joy and pride of his heart, who had never hurt anyone in his life...

Gregory took a trembling breath, balled his hands into fists. Badd was looking at him with pity.

“Edgeworth...”

“Please leave.” He couldn't do this. Couldn't stand here and discuss it any longer.

Badd reluctantly moved towards the exit.

“If there is... anything... I can do...”

“Thank you, Detective,” Gregory said, forcing one of those painful smiles.

There is nothing anyone can do. Miles is gone. And I have to keep living.

Detective Badd respectfully bowed to him, then with a last sorrowful glance, walked out. Gregory closed the door behind him.

He closed his eyes, forced himself to breathe. The air felt solid around him, with how difficult it was to expand his chest, with how much the simple movement hurt. For a moment he tried to think of nothing but breathing.

Miles was gone. He would never sit on the floor again, engrossed in a book too serious for his age. He wouldn't hug Gregory, wouldn't laugh as he babbled about Phoenix and Larry and the Signal Samurai, ever again.

Aimless steps brought him back to the living room. His gaze fell on Miles's discarded sweater once more. In a surge of courage, he picked it up to put it away.

Miles was gone. Gregory had to move on.

The piece of clothing was so soft. He understood why his son had loved it so much, barely ever allowing Gregory to put it in the wash for how often he wore it. It still faintly smelled like him...

He fell to his knees and buried his face into the fabric.

#Ace Attorney #Gregory Edgeworth #Miles Edgeworth #fanfiction #my fanfic #samurais and mockingbirds #cw major character death #cw child death #kill-a-character bingo 2024 #DL-6 Incident #except worse #Miles Edgeworth Didn't Choose Death

[sp1lled-lemon4de]

Fandom: MHA ( My Hero Academia)

Characters: Tamaki amajiki x gn!reader (mostly female, if male then it's ass eating TvT)

Genre: mix?...

Tw: hints to abuse, mentions of being made fun of for choice of clothing, pet names indecisiveness on our part, mentions of light playful choking, biting , indecent language such as curse words, suggestive, mentions of wanting to commit suicide, mentions of past toxic relationships

Sorry If I missed some stuff

A/n: so was listening to High school sweethearts by Melanie Martinez and the thought of an high-school AU with us and Tamaki crossed my mind, i also want to include some of the song lyrics... and I cut the song short T-T Lyrics in pinkkk

^v^ _________________________________

Can we just be honest?...These are the requirements... If you think you can be my one and only true love.

Can't we just be honest? You have had your fair share of lovers...all of them coming to an end, so from your experience you set your standards and had requirements.

So many people flocked around you, begging for a chance at dating you, while others lurked in the shadows sending gifts hoping you would notice them.

You must promise to love me... and damn it if you fuck me over I will rip your fucking face apart.

You wanted someone who truly loved you, all your faults and everything, not like those people you dated before...

They hurt you in every way possible, some even getting physically. But this time if anybody dared to hurt you. They would be the one scarred for the rest of their life.

All your struggles with the people that claimed to "love you" weren't for nothing you were done being treated like that.

Step one, you must accept I'm a little out my head...

All the stuff that happened to you, messed with your head... you didn't know what was real and what wasn't, you just had to trust...

Step two, this is a waste if you can walk me down the finish line.

You were ignored,  made fun of, but Tamaki he never did... But would he be there to the end with you?...

People said he didn't fit you, you were a tall person taller than him and most of your teachers, with long legs, which sometimes got you hate but you learnt to love those legs...

But does he love them? Does Tamaki love them?...

Step 3, give me passion, don't make fun of my fashion...

Would he love you deeply?... Would he spend time comforting you in you darkest times or would he shy away and be anxious just as his class portray him?..

Would he make fun of your fashion? You have been told that you dress a bit over the top , a little too bold , too revealing.

No... he wouldn't... would he?

Step 4 , give me more , give me more...

You wanted him all to yourself, every time you guys made eye contact, you wanted more. Everytime he smiled, you wanted more, you wanted him all.

If you can't handle a heart like mine, don't waste your time with me, if your not down to bleed.

You shouted at Tamaki, tears threatened to fall from the corners of your eyes.

" why are you like this, couldn't you see they were flirting with you!?"

" I'm sorry I paid no mind to them.. I d-didn't know this is how you felt..."

"Gosh damnit, why Tamaki? Do I have to love you?"

You've been through so much pain, that you felt numb to it at a certain point, but Tamaki managed to get that feeling out of you.

" if you can't handle a heart like mine, don't waste your time with me..."

You whispered, on your knees, lips trembling, teary-eyed and with a broken heart broken heart.

He was yours, he had to be yours, you need him to be yours

But why couldn't you see? How much Tamaki loved you?

How much he hated seeing you like this? How much he wished he could kiss you, hold you , love you like no one else.

If you can't handle the choking , the biting , the loving , the smothering, till you can't handle it no more... go home...

He bent down and pressed a soft kiss on your fore head.

"Y/n I promise I love you, I can and I will take care of you , I can handle it I promise, the choking ,the biting ,the loving ,the smothering will never be too much for me I promise"

Can we just be honest , these are the requirements if you think you can be my one and only true love, you must promise to love me and damn it if you fuck me over I will rip your fucking face apart...

High school sweethearts..

Ofcourse the love and attention Tamaki got was annoying, you knew he was yours. And for once you knew this person actually loved you.

Line up, try not to waste my time.

Letters upon letters of love declarations piled up inside your locker.

"such a waste of time" you mumbled to yourself.

Not that you didn't appreciate the letters, notes, flowers, candies etc.

It's just that you were taken, and you already had all of that. You were just tired of it. Who could blame you?

High school sweethearts, shut up if your not my type.

You didn't want a jock or a fuck boy, nerds were cute but still, no lover boy or any of those boys..

Only Tamaki...

(Repeat lyrics above) And I skipped the lyrics below

Step five You can't be scared to show me off and hold my hand Step six If you can't put in work, I don't know what you think this fucking is Step seven, this one goes to eleven If you cheat, you will die, die

If you can't handle a heart like mine Don't waste your time with me If you're not down to bleed, no, oh If you can't handle the choking, the biting The loving, the smothering 'Til you can't handle it no more, no more Go home

Can we just be honest? These are the requirements If you think you can be my one and only true love You must promise to love me And damn it, if you fuck me over I will rip your fucking face apart

High school sweethearts, line up Not trying to waste my time High school sweethearts, shut up If you're not my type High school sweethearts, line up Not trying to waste my time High school sweethearts, shut up If you're not my type

Continuing:

Could you hold me through the night? Put your lips all over my mine Salty face when I start cryin' Could you be my first time? Eat me up like apple pie Make me not wanna die Love me rough and let me fly Get me up, yeah, get me high Tie me down, don't leave my side Don't be a waste of my time

You wanted all of him, you got it..

All his kisses, all of them.

Tears fell from being so loved.

"Can I?" He asks

You nod your head in response....

Legs up as Tamaki sticks his tounge in further.

It's his first time tasting you, and he is completely whipped, I mean so are you.

Finally someone loved you, and it was the person you wanted, it was Tamaki, tears kept falling not only from pleasure but from the fact that you didn't want to kill yourself anymore...

Someone truly loved you.

Tamaki pushed his tounge further, as far as it could have gone, his pace quickened when he felt you clench around him.

Your eyes rolled back from how good it felt, you mumbled incoherently, and you grabbed Tamaki's hair, yanking it.

"Mhmph, i-im close Tamaki please d-dont stop"

Your high was too much, it felt as though you were flying.

Atleast it was Tamaki who made you fly...

___________________________ An: ikikik that I cut the song, forgive me. Tbh this is the longest fiction on my blog lol. Tamaki is Bae

(TAGS BELOW)

#Melanie #music #mha #my hero x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no hero acadamia tamaki #tamaki amakiji #Smut #High-school sweethearts #melanie martinez lyrics #Tamaki is Bae frr #bnha #praise #tamaki x reader #tamaki smut #tamaki amajiki #fanfic #hugmebringitin-whoooo

[origami-boat]

(this review is going to be shorter than i would've liked because of the character limit, if you want my actual unfiltered thoughts on this magazine you can find them in this mega folder.)

let's start with the review:

i don't know how this is being sold in bookstores so casually. it should be banned. it shouldn't have gotten greenlit in the first place. i don't understand what horrible people agreed on publishing this horrible magazine made by horrible creators.

don't pick up this magazine ever. it was the worst mistake i've ever made. my biggest regret, probably. i'm going to try and explain my reasoning here, even though it should be obvious.

concept (3/10):

so...i don't really understand the themes. the first volume is supposed to celebrate the creators getting married 100 times? which is...really disturbing and distressing. why would they share it with other people? shouldn't they be embarrassed? but i guess it is something...why did the theme shift from "marriage" to "god" in the second volume? what happened during these 101-200 marriages? actually, looking at the reviews of the first volume, i don't get why they released a second one. clearly there is no demand. i'm hearing rumors that a third volume's in the making, too...do they never learn? literally everyone is telling them to stop. nobody is asking for this. it's just annoying. but that just goes to show how self centered and selfish the creators are, i guess. and indecisive. because what will the theme even be? what even is the point? why not just quit...?

design: (4/10)

pretty simple. i don't have any notes on this one. it is misleading, though. it's so average, like they're trying to trick you into thinking this is an average zine. a normal zine. it really isn't.

memes: (6/10)

cute kitten pictures are the only tolerable thing about this whole magazine. the four points are for the project sekai meme and the chainsaw man meme. those were not funny. the rest is fine, i guess.

writing: (1/10)

i'm giving it one point because i'm generous, it doesn't actually have any redeeming qualities. from the very first pieces you could tell that the author has gathered up all the love they have ever felt before and put it in each and every word. imagine this: you're drinking tea, and you accidently put two spoons of sugar instead of one. disgusting, right? too hopeful. too full of love. too raw. just thinking about it makes me shake. what the fuck is wrong with the author. in an ideal world, i would've wished for them to find a better therapist, but i don't think any therapist deserves to go through that. they should just die, maybe...?

art: (1/10)

no redeeming qualities again. yes, i know, i'm too generous. in this case it's actually so vile i threw up several times. too joyful. too intimate. again, too much love. what is with this magazine and love? aren't there other, better things to celebrate? not to mention, i've seen the artist say some pretty weird stuff before. like how they enjoy...yaoi...i know, that's so fucked up...they're really fucking evil and unsalvageable. death is the only solution for what's wrong with them, whatever that is.

final rating: (2/10)

i can't bring myself to rate it any lower. i feel kind of bad. even after all i've said, i understand that the creators didn't choose to be born this way, you know? of course, i don't think they can get any better, so...i just wish they would disappear as soon as possible. make the world a better place.

hope this review helped. don't waste your time and money on this thing, it does more harm than good (it does not do any good, really). go enjoy something else.

for those unaware this is for vol 3 of yurimag!! it’s a zine i make with public enemy number one @impastopesto it’s the worlds top magazine that celebrates yuri of all kinds. part one and part two are available for free on my itch.io account: haunted-oyster

this is the general vibe of the zine btw

#sorry miu had to post the ask #bc i didn’t feel like screenshotting the whole thing #anyway yuri mag pt 3 out soon #maybe #probably #fave

[multicolorlou]

Nails (Game AU self insert)

Summary: Matthew Lillard!William notices your shoddily done nails and offers to pay for you to get them done professionally.

Author's Note: This includes some dirty conversation, some self deprecation (not in a kinky way), and mentions of not having a lot of money

@truecobblepot this was a headcanon I had I wanted to tell you but since you were asleep I just wrote a whole fic ❤️

It was another normal day at work, Kellen tapped away at her keyboard. As manager, it was part of her job to write up the company newsletter for her particular location. It was especially important considering it was the headquarters of Fazbear Entertainment. She was working right under Afton and Emily themselves.

This month she was going over some of the new performance tapes that were going to be distributed and the troubleshooting that may need to happen if issues arose. They didn't very often, but occasionally those two geniuses would miss something small.

As she worked away, the door to her small office opened, and in stepped the boss-man himself… well, one of them.

"Good morning, Mr. Afton."

She said jokingly, they were already beyond a romantic relationship at this point, but the formalities amused them.

"I brought you coffee." He placed it down on the table as he kissed the top of her head.

"Ah, disgusting, black coffee." Kellen joked, smiling up at him, "I'm joking, thank you, Will."

He leaned against her desk, "What were you up to last night? Usually I get a call from you."

She lifted her hand, showing off her freshly painted red nails. "I was doing my nails!" The paint work was somewhat sloppy and there wasn't anything special about them, but she seemed proud enough, so he smiled.

"I thought girls usually went and got them done." He pondered.

"Well, girls with money do, I can't be spending that kind of money, especially with how indecisive I am." She chuckled, "I haven't had my nails done since prom."

He smirked, she seemed so young to be reminiscing like that. "So, what, two years ago?" He teased her, earning a playful flick.

"Hey, now, I'm not that young." She laughed, turning in her swivel chair to face him. "Man I even got my toenails done, usually I'd think that was a waste of money."

He chuckled, seeming deep in thought. "Is that just not your thing or?"

"Oh, no, I love going and doing it…. As you can tell I'm kind of awful at doing it myself… I just… you know…" She seemed to be getting embarrassed that she couldnt afford a luxury most girls had. "Sorry you gotta see these awful things, but it gives me the illusion of classiness." She gestured with her hand, quickly burying her nails in her lap, now self conscious.

"Oh, hon, I didn't mean to make you feel bad, they look great."

"No, no, I know they're not the best, I just figure most people won't look past the color anyways." She feigned a chuckle and started typing again, her mood more melancholy.

William hesitated for a moment, but then spoke up. "Say, what if I paid for you to go get your nails done?"

She blushed a little, looking down at her lap. "You don't need to do that-"

He shrugged, "Just think of it as a bonus, you work so hard after all."

She shook her head, giggling a little, "Don't spoil me!"

"All I ask is you get them done purple, just so you remember who paid for them." He smirked, running a hand through her hair, he gently tilted her head up. Her face went completely red now.

"Ah- yes- sir."

He seemed pretty proud of himself, "Good girl." He let go of her head and rubbed her shoulder a little. "I can't wait to see those nails next time they're wrapped around my-"

"William!" She butted in, stopping him, she was absolutely mortified- not to say she wasn't enjoying the idea.

"Sorry, sorry…" He was definitely not sorry, not by the way he swaggered out of her office, smug and confident with what he had done. "Just stop by and grab my card before you go get them done… and make sure to stop and… show me." He winked, closing the door.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf art #fnaf fanart #afton #steve raglan #william afton #five nights at freddys #oc x canon #self x canon #self insert

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi I just recently discovered your blog and I’m in love with it and you. So I’m in college and I’ve been having a hard time concentrating and getting motivated and also making friends, I’m starting to feel like maybe this isn’t for me but I also don’t know what else to do.

Hi love! Aw, this comment is so sweet. Thank you!

College can be a difficult and lonely space, for sure. Know that you're not the only one who feels lost, directionless, alone, or like you're one of the few students who spend almost all their time alone. It's a super common experience (I probably spent 90% of my time in college either in class, working, studying, or alone too!).

Knowing whether college is for you takes so many factors into account. First, it depends if you're going into debt for the experience. If so, I think at least considering taking a leave of absence is not something to overlook if you're feeling super indecisive on your future dime.

Your desired career goals also matter. If you want to be a doctor, lawyer, investment banker, etc. You need the degree even if it feels like a waste of time (in undergrad, that is). If you're seeking to pursue a creative or digital career (writing, graphic design, coding, social media, etc.), college is not always the right place for you to begin your career.

Take courses you're interested in and that you believe offer practical knowledge in your desired career field or allow you to gain a marketable skill (coding, data analysis, persuasive writing, financial literacy, etc.)

To get motivated, I recommend looking through my guides on goal setting and productivity tips.

To help with making friends, read my guide on how to master social anxiety and make friends. I also answered another question about college life recently, so I'm also sharing these tips HERE.

Hope this helps xx

#college advice #healthyhabits #productivity #social skills #life advice #career advice #self improvement #femme fatale #dark feminine energy #dark femininity #it girl #dream girl #the feminine urge #loa success #high value woman #high value mindset #glow up #that girl #self discovery #femmefatalevibe

[tgmsunmontue]

🌿 ⇢ (give some advice on writer's block and low creativity) and  🏜️ ⇢ (what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?) <3

Hi! 😊

🌿 ⇢ (give some advice on writer's block and low creativity)

Oof. As someone who has taken years of writing breaks here and there due to being unable to create/write this hits hard. I didn't find a magic cure or anything, I was just suddenly inspired by a weird ass film (i.e. TG:M).

While I haven't been writing, I was creating in other ways (patchwork, drawing/painting and paper crafts). I think it works in peaks and troughs. I know I am much happier when creating something. In terms of feeling a lack of creativity, that is normal. We aren't machines. Our brains need time to mull over ideas - I will go and do something else and then come back to the thing.

My biggest barriers are procrastination and indecision (and then using my indecision to procrastinate).

My weekly 'tell me what write weekends' stop me from dithering and trying to figure out WHAT to write. I know I want to write, I just can't decide which WIP to do. I also manage many of my day-to-day tasks/chores like this by writing them all down, numbering them 1-20 and then rolling a dice to again force me into action rather than wasting away with indecision. This works for me. It may or may not work for other people (I have several friends for whom this idea makes them recoil in horror).

I have two fics I have no motivation to finish (not sure if that counts as writers block and/or lack of creativity?) In my head I know how they finish. However all the people subscribed to them DO NOT. So a thing which I will be trialling this weekend, as I attempt to finish these two DECADE OLD Glee AU WIPs, is re-read the fic, makes notes, read through what I have already written for both fics, and then make myself write at least 250 words on Friday night, Saturday and again on Sunday. I find 250 words generally easy to bang out in 15-20 minutes (30+ minutes if I am really struggling or am getting easily distracted). Will it be sequential to the story? Probably not. But just the act of forcing myself to write a little means the creativity starts flowing... again 250 words often ends up closer to 400, and 750-1,200 words toward a fic is great progress!

I'm not happy with about 30-40% of the stuff I share, I'm outright despairing of some of my older stuff, but for every fic I put out there, there is usually 1-10k of off-cuts/notes that never see the light of day.

I have a "PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION" sign to remind myself that I am my own worst critic as well.

🏜️ ⇢ (what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?)

The cliched but true 'all types', but FAVOURITE is nearly always questions - ones where I can answer and ramble and share my weird little head canons for that particular little fic. I like engaging with other people in fandom and spit-balling ideas back and forth, creating something organic that grows. It happens less and less now as people don't engage with WIPs as much due to fear of it never being finished (*cough cough* see above 10-year old WIPs), not realising that they could be the driving force behind it getting finished (or taking it in a whole other direction).

#SunMonTue answers

[little-bit-of-everything-tbh]

This is about character, and how I imagine her, you can imagine her however you want to, and yes y/n as in your name as in you x some character but! I know a lot of people imagine that y/n as someone else so I'm going with that theory. if anyone disagrees with me that's okay tho!! And you don't have read this i guess. But for all who stays! Welcome and thank you<3

Part 1 ^^ - here

About y/n character in this story:

Pronouns: she/her

Height: 5'0

Weight: 60kg

Age: right now - 14

Hair: right now - brown

Eyes: brown

Insecurities:

• she doesn't like that she's chubby. People in middle school bullied her for her looks because of her tummy.

• so it's insecurity about her shoulders, tummy, a little bit about her bigger breasts, fingers (she discovered that painting her nails makes her fingers look less chubby (at least for her) so she paint them in black (because she thinks it looks cool))

• she feels like she's too basic because of her hair/eyes, like some people got cool pink or red eyes and she's just...brown

• she doesn't have a lot of friends that's got her feeling kind of uneasy because she just wants to be happy and have a lot of friends like you see those people on internet have

Confidence:

• not much (right now but character development exist for a reason)

Backstory:

• will be told in a few chapters probably

Quirk:

• name: teleportation

• application:

-the user can teleport where ever they want, if they know where that place is

-the user have to at least know how the place looks(but like really good), if they got coordination that would help more • limitation: -using quirk takes energy, if the user is not trained enough and doesn't have enough stamina she could easily faint or feel ill

-the more distant the place is(where user teleport), the more energy it takes

-the user have to know how to combat fight, because their quirk just make them teleport which means they can be faster with training enough, but they can't fight just with their quirk

About her character:

• she's funny, loyal, generous, kind, sincere, persistent, open-minded, brave, selfless optimistic, impatent, pity, forgive-but-not-forget, talks a lot, ambiver, bubbly, touchy with her friends, impulsive, indecisive, kind of picky but not really, tolerant, shameless, stubborn, sly maybe, she changed mood really fast, aaaand she's silly

Issues:

• anger issues(thanks dad), anxiety and panic attack sometimes, eating problems because she's insecure about her body so she thinks she shouldn't eat a lot, PTSD (thanks dad pt2), trauma, sleep problems - insomnia, trust issues, abandonment issues

Okay folks I think that's all, I'm not sure if I got too deep into this, or maybe not deep enough. I'm sorry for wait and I will get right to writing chapter 2 this moment I swear, once again I'm sorry i hope you liked this and if you didn't I'm sorry I wasted your time—

Okay that's all, feel free to correct me or give your opinion in comments, byee

-vee<3

#anime #bakugou x fem!reader #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugou #x reader #writing #xreader #kirishima x fem!reader #ejirou kirishima #bakugou x reader #kirishima x reader #my hero academia #fake boyfriend..?

[ina-nis]

I have a few thoughts about my own experience with loneliness while I'm on this journey for acceptance...

Loneliness is not a disorder or a disease, it's more like an emotion as a response to social absence, even a kind of social neglect, of sorts.

The pain caused by loneliness come from disconnection and a lack of meaningful bonds. This is why it really is not about quantity - even more when I'm dealing with other disabling personal circumstances, where my energy is very limited - and more about quality. If there's no quality, then there's no point so I literally do not waste my time. I feel like I don't have the kind of luxury to go through a million connections, give them time to settle and "marinate" a little, so I can see if it works for me or not, because the whole process is extremely straining and there's only so much I can do to recharge while still trying to reach out.

I'll 100% prioritize my own personal peace and well-being over connecting with other people. Yes, I'm aware it's a "bad" thing that will make it even harder for me but, like I said, I don't have the kind of luxury to spend so much time and energy in that slow build up if the beginnings are always so uncertain.

It's always about "just have no expectations" and "go with the flow" and "if it doesn't work out, just move onto the next," and I do agree that seeing connections casually like this, as something that is very low stakes like that, definitely helps. What doesn't help is having to deal with people that just want to fuck around or who are looking for something casual themselves. I don't have that kind of intention, or that kind of time - and that goes for any kind of relationship, really. I don't have much of an interest in investing time and effort in casual friendships when I could just... keep on doing whatever I already do on my own. Saves me a lot of stress and a lot of energy, too.

So it's like I'm deliberately choosing loneliness, right? Since I'm prioritizing my peace and my solitude, and because I'm "so picky" about who I want around me in my life. But I do understand I'm not asking for anything out of the extraordinary. I ask for what I can give. Most people can't match that. That's their problem, not mine. It's too bad.

I've had enough of crying and getting angry over something out of my control so I stopped. I've had enough of lowering my boundaries and standards to match other people's when I have never really see matched efforts on their end (in a way that works for me), so now I keep myself where I want to be and if people can't reach it, again, that's their problem.

There's nothing to lose really, I don't feel like I lost anything at all. Having the knowledge that, even something as profoundly hurtful as experiencing loneliness can give you a hint about what you need to do for yourself, and it has helped me uncovering what are my wants and needs.

I don't waste any more time chasing after people, nor people-pleasing, nor trying to get others to like or want me, nor playing mind games with indecisive/immature/unavailable people, and so on. It really is that simple, and it feels like I take control of my life back little by little, using those things.

It's not like I closed my heart, but in a way, I did I guess.

The feeling that really stays with me is that power of not having to put up with any more bullshit. I meet people with intention, I try to be clear about what I want and what I can give. For the third time: it's their problem if they find all that "intimidating" and somehow bad.

And since I have made up my mind, that also means my efforts at remaining gentle and not becoming miserable will continue indefinitely. That's something good and something for me to work on every day.

I'm aware it's likely this pain caused by loneliness and its disconnection will never truly go away. Like everything else I have dealt with (and still do), I'll "get used" to it, one way or another. Strengthening other aspects of my life helps, as does basically living my life around it (much like what I do with my chronic pain, too). It's not the kind of life I wish I would live but it's the life I have and I'll make the best out of it.

Somewhere deep inside I'm baffled by the fact that I found it would be "easier" to actually work through all this in therapy, settle down in loneliness even, and live with this pain; than believing the possibility that I would ever find a romantic partner who would also be my best and closest friend.

Maybe it's a pretty depressing way to look at things but I feel like it's a way that is more under my control, it's a way that feels more feasible with what I can actually do, with the amount of energy and time I have, too.

Obviously, this is not the end, nor it is me giving up... but I guess, yes, it is, too. And it's not a bad thing. I know I'll have a meaningful and happy life regardless, that's all I want and look for, really.

#loneliness #inanis post

[streets-in-paradise]

Andy Barclay Nirvana Playlist + Lyrics - Part 1

Tags: @silvershewolf247

1 - Lithium ( this whole song is so him )

" I'm so happy 'cause today I found my friends They're in my head I'm so ugly, that's okay, 'cause so are you Broke our mirrors"

" I'm so lonely, that's okay, I shaved my head And I'm not sad And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard But I'm not sure"

2 - Rape Me

" Hate me Do it, and do it again Waste me Rape me, my friend "

( taking rape as a possesion metaphore)

3 - Negative Creep

" This is out of our reach This is out of our reach This is out of our reach and it's grown This is getting to be This is getting to be This is getting to be drone I'm a negative creep I'm a negative creep I'm a negative creep and I'm stoned "

4 - Sappy

" And if you cut yourself You will think you're happy He'll keep you in a jar Then you'll make him happy

He'll give you breathing holes Then you'll think you're happy He'll cover you with grass Then you'll think you're happy now"

"And if you fool yourself You will make him happy He'll keep you in a jar Then you'll think you're happy

He'll give you breathing holes Then you will seem happy You'll wallow in the shit Then you'll think you're happy now "

5 - All Apologies

" I wish I was like you Easily amused Find my nest of salt Everything is my fault "

6 - Mr Moustache

( this one i feel fitting with both, Andy's experience of repression in the military school, and his rebellious son/autoritary father dynamic with chucky)

" Fill me in on your new vision Wake me up with indecision Help me trust your mighty wisdom Yes, I eat cow, I am not proud

Show me how you question questions Lead the way to my temptations Take my hand and give it cleaning Yes, I eat cow, I am not proud "

7 - Territorial Pissings

" Never met a wise man If so it's a woman "

" Just because you're paranoid Don't mean they're not after you "

8 - Pennyroyal Tea

" I'm on my time with everyone I have very bad posture

Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea Distill the life that's inside of me"

" I'm so tired I can't sleep I'm a liar and a thief"

9 - Drain You

( metaphorically, chucky meeting little andy and roping him in his game to later seek possesing him)

" One baby to another says: I'm lucky to have met you I don't care what you think unless it is about me It is now my duty to completely drain you I travel through a tube and end up in your infection "

10 - Come As You Are

( no explanation needed, lyrics speak for themselves)

" Come as you are, as you were As I want you to be As a friend, as a friend As an old enemy

Take your time, hurry up Choice is yours, don't be late Take a rest as a friend As an old

Memoria, memoria Memoria, memoria "

" And I swear that I don't have a gun No, I don't have a gun No, I don't have a gun "

#character playlist #andy barclay #nirvana #Spotify

[moviepixie]

The Next 365 Days

subtitle: Laura the indecisive

Just like my previous post, this movie is very mature and contains a lot of s*x scenes. Please be aware. As always my reviews are a recap meaning they include spoilers. The review starts below the cut.

***********

In absolute honesty, It took me multiple sittings to finish this movie because I was cringing and getting frustrated the whole way. i don’t understand why these people keep getting funded while the other good movies are being cancelled.

Anyway, when I started this movie, I thought Laura had died because of how the previous movie ended and also due to the specific dialogue people were using. From Massimo to her best friend Olga, they were all using language suggesting that possibility, only to find out I was played and it was Massimo’s twin brother that died.

Anyway, this third movie had a bit more drama but was somehow more infuriating. One of the notable factors is that Laura did not tell Massimo that she cheated on him when she thought he cheated on her. She kept denying that anything happened and kept what happened away from him causing Massimo to grow considerably angry that she was keeping secrets from him. 

When I asked myself what I would do in her situation, I thought of coming clean and then speaking about not knowing he had a twin. This would make him mad, but it would at least offer some insight. Laura on the other hand thought to keep it a secret and tell Olga that Nacho, the guy she cheated with was like a best friend to her when she took off with him! Which to me didn’t make any sense because they barely knew each other at all!

Anyway, Massimo had found out about Laura losing the baby and was considerably mad about her not telling him. The two had a fight which ended with Massimo breaking a glass on the floor and Laura remembering Nacho and still being in love with him. Her love for Nacho causes her to not want to have sex with Massimo as often and wished he was Nacho!

She soon meets Nacho by chance in Portugal while she was there for a fashion show. They go to Nacho’s house and after some cringe dialogue of “You can run away from me, but you can’t run away from your feelings”, the two have sex with each other. The next day, Laura goes back to her hotel in Portugal and sees Massimo inside, who asked her where she’d been and she threatened him with divorce and no closure. This was the most frustrating thing for me like sis was cheating on the dude and couldn’t even be honest about it. But Massimo was also on some yandere energy if I'm being fair.

Laura then goes to visit her parents to tell them she’s in love with Nacho. Her mum was so fed up that she had to smoke after deciding to be sober. The whole thing was just irritating but no joke, if I was Massimo and she chose Nacho, I would collect the company I gifted her for Christmas and be like “Tell Nacho to gift you another one, I don’t have money to waste”.

Anyway, Massimo finds out Laura cheated and Olga told Laura that Massimo knew. Laura then comes back to her home in Sicily. Nacho then goes undercover to pick up Laura at the airport. Like no matter what romance enthusiasts tell me, this dude was tryna get killed. Anywho, Laura comes goes to confront Massimo on the beach

We then find out that Massimo had known that Laura was cheating the whole time! He said that he was following the parable “If you love something, you must let it go”. Anyway, the movie ends with a cliffhanger about who Laura chooses.

This took a lot from me to watch and at some point, I was watching at 1.5x speed. I rate this movie a 3.68/10 because to me, it was a bit better than the previous one! What do you think about it? let me know in the comments.

#movie reviewer #the next 365 days #cringe movies #365 days review #netflix 365 days #365 days 3 #massimo x laura #massimo x reader #netflix movie reviewer #netflix blog #netflix reviewer

[elix8r]

Let me spill a headcanon because I just finished Pink Whitney and it has given me Jungwon and Wonyoung brainrot 😭

Cause we were all curious and indecisive college freshmen once, I feel like Wonyoung is the type to want something with no strings attached first (just to explore her options first before fully committing to smth yk). Jungwon, though wanting something more serious, can’t pass the opportunity to be with his crush; he ends up agreeing so they start their weird “best friends that happen to be seeing each other” kind of situationship that tbh probably would last quite a while (a few semesters at least).

Eventually, Jungwon wouldn’t be able to hold back the desire for something more, so he asks Wonyoung if they could be smth more serious. Initially, I feel like she wouldn’t decline but also she wouldn’t fully agree with him, so they agree to just start seeing other people to see if they were really ready to fully commit. During this period, Jungwon tries to mask his distraught by seeing other girls and kind if hoeing around (Jake’s influence ofc 💀), but this has only made his feelings for Wony to grow even more intense; which only irritated him more.

I feel like there would be so much tension between them and they end up somehow arguing about how they’re just wasting their time with other people even though they both know exactly want they want (each other, duh). Wonyoung would eventually beat him to it and confess first about how she wants something for real this time. Ngl I also thought about how cute it would be if they follow in their bigs’ footsteps and have a frat wedding (and having the wedding while they’re both in the “seeing other people” stage would make it sm much more funny lmao). And they live happily ever after because they are my babies 🫶

oh my god this is so so so good!! you guys are so creative 😩 like I'm obsessed with this concept i can just imagine this happening i think if i could go back and rewrite this universe then i would def go about those two's relationship like this 🥺 like i love the idea of them being in the frat wedding together like their bigs that's so cute and it would be so awkward and funny lmao i can def see them as he fell first but she fell harder type of couple 😖 😖 no i seriously have to write some behind stuff with them now I'm so glad you guys love these two together as much as i do ugh thank you so much for this it's literally giving me so much inspo for the enha frat universe 💜

[funkymbtifiction]

hi! so i wanted some general advice, i am an ISFP and 80% sure a 4w5 if that helps, but essentially I'm in my 20's and my entire life i've always just done whatever felt right at the moment and a couple years ago i finally found out that art was my actual passion so i just went ahead and started focusing on that eventhough i knew i wouldnt make money and had no connections i just knew it was my thing and i loved it, so that was almost 3 years ago and for the first time i felt kind of healthy in the sense that i was making art all the time so i had this always incomming sensorial experience and i was able to push myself to have a schedule (work a little on my Te) and make stuff with a certain amount of time, and i felt very balanced? it was good but lately idk, its been getting harder for me to make stuff and working on my interests? Idk I guess my question is how do I get out of this funk? I just feel so lost and just standing on an empty space of nothingness that also doesnt allow me to create and i feel like i know the answer is probably you have to push yourself and create even if u kind of like ehhh about it and that will help but i'm scared? like normally i dont really care about what will happen to me career wise, i just do what i want and believe the universe will solve itself and everything will fall into place because of my will but lately i'm just terrified that my art will not get me anywhere, suddenly i have this fear that i'm waisting my time and i just want to know how to forget about that and just do what i always do but then again, should i even forget about that? is that even healthy? and if it's not, how do i find a balance? I'm sorry if this is a little long, I just needed some type of advice if it's even possible? Either way tysm for your blog and comments <3

I'm sorry. I know that this is frustrating, to reach that point where you are wondering if there's any point to doing this, because you are not being successful at it.

For what it's worth, a lot of IFPs (and EFPs) choose careers based on what they love and/or think that they should monetize their passions -- the problem is, as you point out, they lack the know-how and social skills to be self-promoting; they are often introverted loners who just want to paint or write or create things, rather than be out there actively selling them, making connections, and socializing. Most artists are sensitive, creative loners, because that's how you create things -- alone. They are not natural self-promoters. For this reason, artists need other people to sell their art, in the same way it's better for a writer to have someone else promoting their books, while they focus on writing another one. There's also the problem of, as you are currently experiencing, trying to make a living or a success at it, being discouraged when that doesn't happen (for most people, it doesn't), and then facing indecision and angst about your craft. If there's no point, why am I doing this? am I wasting my time? does anyone even care? should I be doing something else instead?

That's why most higher Te users tell creatives not to try and make a living at their art -- because the need to sell it becomes so all-encompassing, either out of a desire to succeed or a need to make an actual living -- that it taints the creative experience; it's no longer self-expression and enjoyable, it's no longer relaxing, because there's so much pressure on you to "make something of it." Some people do make a living doing what they love -- but even then there's a trade-off of trying to produce consistently, give people more of what they want, etc. Most creative types need to do what they love for themselves and in their spare time, and find a job they can tolerate that earns them enough money to be creative for fun and personal enjoyment.

I obviously can't tell you what to do, but it may be time to step back, evaluate what you love about art, and whether trying to be successful at it is going to kill your love of doing it (it sounds like it's happening now? and creating apathy?), and look at your other options. You may find that relieving the pressure of NEEDING to do this helps reawaken your love of creation just for ME. If you love art, and you want it to be part of your inner experience, your way of sharing your emotions in the world, then you don't need to make money off doing it -- you need to be doing it because you love it, and it's enjoyable. You need a job to pay the bills, and a hobby to fill you with personal satisfaction and enjoyment. Higher Te's understand this dynamic better than FPs -- I work so I can do what I love in my spare time.

#question #mbti #isfp #infp

[rove-bogge]

Hello again,

It's not that I think I'm really boring, it's just... well, I'd have a lot more to say if we weren't going to have to reveal ourselves at the end of this, you know? Speaking of which: Is there anything in particular that you wouldn't want to receive at the end? I can take a guess at some things you might like from what I know about you so far, but I don't want to get you something you already have, or that's not safe for bugs or something (like how dogs can't eat chocolate, and certain plants are poisonous to cats).

That game you were talking about sounds fun! I don't have a computer, but if I did maybe I'd play it too. Though, wouldn't camping be kind of a waste of time while you're in that type of situation? Making tunnels is smart though, I should use that strategy if I ever play it.

I can't say I eat much sour stuff, though it's not like I have a sweet tooth either. I guess I prefer salty/savoury stuff? But If I had to choose between sweet and sour, I think I'd go sweet.

Ah, I wasn't really planning on having to answer those myself... if that's the case maybe I should choose better questions this time, though I guess you can always ask me completely different ones anyways. It's harder for me to answer these since I'm supposed to stay anonymous, but I'll try my best.

I guess my favourite colour would have to be... maybe red. It just feels so vibrant and powerful and cool looking, you know? But I also feel the same way about blue, oddly enough... people always say blue is calming, but there are some really electrifying shades of it. And there are dangerous blue things too, like the ocean... I guess I'm not really sure. If I pick purple, does that count as both? Though purple itself isn't my favourite.

My favourite food is. Well, it's hard to pick just one, isn't it?

If I could make five wishes... see, this is the hard part. I kind of wish you were really anonymous, knowing that I'm going to have to look you in the face later just makes this too embarrassing (or incriminating). Though I do feel more comfortable writing this letter than the first one. Well, the pen pal version of my five wishes would be: 1) To be a great and powerful mage, 2) For my family and I to be healthy and happy for a long time, 3) For classes to be easier, 4) To end world hunger forever, and 5) A blastcyle

My day was alright I guess. It wasn't better or worse than my days usually are, though it by all means should have been considering these living changes.

Okay, for this next round of questions, why dont you tell me: What's your favourite class? What's your favourite animal other than bugs? Would you ever get a tattoo?

Mandatorily yours, Pen Pal

Hi Mainly things to avoid are pesticides and insecticides…. If you give me these I am making you eat them. Only weird people would appreciate such gifts. I guess also anything like toiletries…I don’t know I guess some people like them but I always feel like those are a secret insult where you're telling the other person they smell or something. I mean if things aren't made awkward you can always come to Ignihyde and try it out if you want. We can even handicap ourselves so you have a chance to win. Though you misunderstand the terms Camping and tunnelling, I guess it's hard for a normie to understand gaming lingo lmao. If you do want to brave face me in this game we will have to give you some normie to gamer translation cards. As for taste you can have things that are sour and sweet at the same time. I mean Lemons are often put in deserts and drinks right? But I guess it's an acquired taste. But sweets are always good. I really want to go see the maple taffy display but it would be weird to go alone…Everytime I peek in there's always groups of people and it's loud and annoying. Ah well maybe I’ll order some online to be delivered. You seem weirdly indecisive like you can’t just pick one thing to deem your favourite. I always find that quality weird and annoying. Would you be the type of person who when you ask what you want for dinner goes ‘I don’t know, what do you want?’ How irritating… As for your wishes, you're not really going for Miss Twisted Wonderland here you know… bar the last one, your wishes are so boring textbook answers. I’m hoping that to put me off trying to figure out who you are. As for the Blastcyle…I have never ridden one. I only tried to drive a car once and I crashed my brother's car into a ditch…. I haven't done any further attempts to drive anything since…. Fine, your questions: Favourite class. Well, I am pretty good at analytical magic. It helps sharpen my cardshark skills! I enjoy working out the mechanics behind magic and even peoples unique magic can be fun to break down to concept and mechanics. It makes it easier to work out counters too. Animals other than bugs. I like snakes. I even have my own, Snake-eyes who is an Arid Albino ball python. He’s rather placid and sometimes likes to hang out around my neck while I'm playing games or coding. As for tattoos…hmm maybe I have never really thought about it. How about you? It seems you have considered tattoo’s if you asked such a question. Another question: what do you hope to receive for the holidays and or gift exchange? Anyway I have rambled on far longer than any of us care for and people want to play games. Lets see if I can rinse them of there Thaumarks TTYL Rove

#yeah i'm the boogie man! #oh? antivirus? haha #nru: exchange 22 #hmmm the conspircy grows XD #I'm sorry Rove is such an Ass! #his present if going to be a punch in the face and it will be deserved

[sweetswesf]

Check In

What I Did

Responded to a post I was tagged in in the channel for the Black-male dominated professional engineering group I am in outside of work...was honest about what going through a layoff is like and how people should support people going through it and immediately regretted it

Got through 4 DAYS of 100 Days of Python in a day to catch up

Didn't work out...sat at my damn desk ALL day and neglected dishes and eating better and working out...all to catch up with Python

Received yet another request to meet with this CEO next week who made a random post about a podcast episode I did...I have no clue where it's going and why he has not given up on trying to meet ME after all these years, but we'll see...

Bumped my face against the cabinet door AGAINNN

Finished Alice & Wonderland finally a few days ago and couldn't help but draw parallels, pick out the themes, and cry when Alice slayed the Jabberwocky! "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"...that's what I'm going to do with these things I've been battling

online shopped for like 2 hours (I know...way too long) for back to back days because they're having a special: spend $150 and get $100...I'm very indecisive because I don't have much time to shop and don't want to do it often, and the stuff I buy tends to stay with me for YEARS...and I had a LOT of gift cards at Free People (THAT IS MY STORE!!!)...I bought these! Hopefully they fit, hopefully it was worth it...I feel like I keep trying with little pieces...one day, people are going to be sending me my designer wardrobes for free...these are going to hold me over and hopefully inspire me to the attract the opportunities that help get me there; I like comfortable, cute, unique, different things...with a feminine hippie undertone:

What I Learned

They say people will be more attracted to you the less they know about you, and for someone as open and vulnerable as me, this has been hard...I guess this is why I feel like this blog is so therapeutic: I can get my feelings out, have them read without knowing who the reader is and without the reader knowing who I am

Feeling

Dependent on my friend...I really look forward to meeting with her biweekly; she couldn't come to our meeting today and I felt a little sad...it made me scared because I'm so used to being left/made to look dumb

Accomplished...I've built Hangman, Rock, Paper, Scissors, and a few other things; I regretted starting the 100 Days of Python since I already know the language instead of going harder on the Algos, but I am doing it to get to the harder lessons on stuff I don't know and just to get faster with the language which will help me both in the algos and on the job eventually, especially since, I tend to lose my train of thought mid-algo sometimes...Like today, I figured out how to add recursion to my problem by accident, and recursion is really difficult for me...PLUS, I'm learning a lot of new tricks and resources I never knew of even in these beginning lessons...most importantly it's getting me up to work at my desk and reminding me that I can sit for long, knock out some Pomodoros and ...I worked more hours yesterday than I have in one setting all month...

My A1C levels are on the bridge for pre-diabetes...like if I was 0.1 over on my score, I would be considered pre-diabetic...so I need to get that in check...I was inspired to check by this healthy Black YouTuber Hallease and my grandmother has diabetes...that life is NOT fun...movement helps but it contradicts going hard on this interview prep stuff...I added the Pomodoro Gym Chrome extension to make sure I get up because my FitBit watch KEEPS giving me a rash...I hate it...

Glad I overcame the paranoid thoughts of having a brain issue...

Sad at all the time I've wasted in the past on social media procrastinating from doing the work and making things harder for myself

Glad I meet weekly with an old colleague...white girl gets me and we relate...but she reminds me of an old friend that ended up ghosting me and acting like she didn't know me...PEOPLE are hard to trust

Takeaways

I'm going to get better at this stuff

I'm not getting fat...looking in the mirror I see more definition in my body despite me feeling chubby cheeked in the Google Meets video

Going to start doing Advent of Code: 25 Python challenges in the month of December...happens every year since 2015...I attempted once and gave up after like a day; FINALLY found the name of it after reaching out to a mentor to me who helped me get ad revenue on my project from bootcamp

I don't judge homeless people who spend money on drugs or other non-essentials...it's a HUMAN thing to spend things on what feels good in the moment and lose sight of what the money is really for...we're all trying

I can't judge people who are laid off, collecting unemployment, or food stamps, etc.

I believe I am going through a lot of these experiences to become more humble and judge less

Taking this time to focus on building skills is a good thing...I'd rather do it now than when I'm too old...I saw another guy on LinkedIn leave his good job to do the same: train up skills as he knew he wouldn't be able to work and do both...I'm excited to see who I will become after I learn these skills

I don't like my gym crush anymore...I embarrassed myself trying to get his attention in the gym and it was like chasing down a child...I already attract attention being this short, bulky, Black girl amongst all the men on the weights level...I noticed his new neck tattoo of praying hands and it just read to me "irresponsible spending" and I know I shouldn't think that way because I just bought clothes when I have PLENTY of them already and nowhere to go...we all try...

I have to stop panicking and getting in my head

How I Got Myself Out of a Rut

Prayer; reminding myself that God won't leave me

Pushed myself to finish the coding lessons

Told myself that I won't be in this forever, I'm going to get better, I'm limitless, and me getting to the next level is predicated on MY actions

Goals Completed

Found a therapist

Stopped listening to people worried about their own circumstances and remembering God works on his own time and that I am in no rush...

Got back on the ball

Being kinder to myself and stopping guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%

Goals To Complete

Strengthen my relationship with God

Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in 6 months, NOT less than 3

Drop my body fat percentage to Marion Jones, Michaela Cole, or Jade Cargill levels

Consistently fight urge to fill up my time with social media/YouTube

Fully forgive my family & build a great relationship with them

Be more confident & faithful

250 steps/hour & 10k steps/daily consistently

Drink more than 64oz a day consistently

Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too

Learn more about my gym crush & get him to ask for my number

Get a house similar to that one in Spain

Update my personal app

Complete 100 Days of Python

Complete Advent of Code

Decorate the plastic Christmas tree with the ornaments I HAD to buy

#tech #software engineering #software engineer #check in #black in tech #black in the bay #san francisco #silicon valley #engineer #python #black women in tech #algoexpert #interview cake #women in tech #technology #startup #tech company #tech company layoffs #layoff #layoffs #100 days of python #100 days of code #porsha #charlamagne #rhatl #hallease #alice in wonderland #off with your head

[hiraya-rawr]

I noticed you talking about college courses and I just wanted to share my own experience in it and maybe it could be a learning experience to others too? Hopefully hahahaha.

I was a graduate from ABM (hey yess im filo too ehehe) but I originally wanted to be in HUMSS because I wanted to do BSP ever since I was little. It was my only dream and my hope because I know it would be a job that I will truly enjoy. But unfortunately, my university was quite demanding. They forcefully put me in ABM because of my high grades in maths and I have no other choice but to take it because my parents wanted me to be in this "prestigious uni". So I endured 2 years of studying under the course that I do not like at all. It. was very hard, because I'm not even a person who likes business and maths and complicated calculations of assets and expenses.

Then fortunately, I had graduate from that hell two years ago. It was a relief to me. But then again, that was the start of real hell. Since I'm an ABM graduate, I dont know what to do anymore. I can't take my dream job anymore because I was in a different path now. I was truly lost at what to do with my life because I have NO PLANS about my future now that my only dream has been crushed. I tried going for BSP actually, but my parents protested that I will waste my 2 years of studying business if I will just take...what I want. I was a coward, because I didn't fight for what I want at all and I still regret that to this very day.

Moving forward, I blinding sign up to BSAーsince my Mom was an accountant and she wanted me to be...idk like her probably. This is were the suffering truly start. Studying something that I do not like at all was so damn hard. It was like torture. I wanted to cry every night I was bombarded with tons and tons of homeworks and its even getting harder because were at online classes.

I was entering my third year this school year, and thankfully, I was still...hanging on I supossed 💪😂 but what I wanted to point out is...um, DO NOT BE LIKE ME.

Pick out a course that YOU LOVED, that YOU WANTED, that YOU ENJOY, that YOU WOULD SEE YOURSELF IN THE FUTURE. Do not be like me who becomes a coward under the pressure of their parents lol. It was your life to decide, it was you who should decide for your future, not your parents or anyone. This is something I had learned in the hard way and I was still regretting that I didnt stand up for what I want before. But freshies who would enter uni for the first time COULD STILL DO IT.

Don't be pressured. Its alright to be unsure for now, but dont let it become to the point others will use that uncertainty to pick FOR your sake. Pick whatever you think you truly wanted and loved, not what others want and love for you :>

This become too long I hope I wasnt being rude 💦💦

YES TO ALL OF THIS!!! thank you for taking the time to write out your experience for others!

When your parents said they didn't want you to "waste your 2 years of ABM in SHS", I understood that, but at the same time (this is for the high schoolers out there) don't let your senior high strand dictate your college life! I'm a STEM graduate but I took a BS Interior Design course at a fine arts college. They were both my choices because I enjoy sciences and the arts! The adjustment period may be tricky, but you'll get the hang of it. If you have a different decision for college, don't be afraid to make the switch! :>

I have blockmates who don't even like drawing or design but almost every subject and project we have is related to it. You're going to exhaust yourself doing something you hate. And if you have difficult parents, don't be afraid to take this little leap and talk it out with them seriously. I know it's easier said than done but it's better to try!

Overall advice for those choosing their college is to do what you want :) and if you're feeling indecisive... well, don't go with something you hate!

#hira rant #college