#and the only way my soul knows to heal is to listen to more music

[thatgirlie-diaries]

How I have improved my routines and consistency

Hello girlies! This first week of my vacations period I have been using it as a test for my ideal routines and schedule, identifying what goes right and wrong and what changes do I need to do to be consistent and have an efficient systmem. What you'll be reading next are all the things I have done and learned to apply to have a calm, healthy, fun and fulfillling routines and daily schedule, overrall improving my lifetyle.

Identify

Energy levels: Are you a morning person or a night owl? Do you identify when do you have the most energy and when it goes down? What would be my ideal time to sleep and wake up?

What negative habits do I have? And why do I have them? With what habits I can switch them?

Why do I procrastinate? In which ways I procrastinate and distract myself?

How I want my lifestyle to look like? What habits, routines, hobbies and activities are included in my daily life? How do I act on a daily basis?

Creating my schedule and routines

Set a sleeping schedule that fits you based on your energy levels.

Create a morning, night and pampering routines that you enjoy doing, that you are comfortable with and makes you feel fulfilled.

Create (if neccesary) other routines that you need:There are probably other things you want to do that you need a routine for! For example, I have a mini manifesting routine and a weekly spiritual healing routine. I also want to create a language sudy routine too.

Include non-negotiable healthy habits: this habits are the ones that keep you healthy in body, work with your mind and give you peace. For example, some of mine are: eating 3 healthy meals, tidying up my space for 30 minutes, listening to a podcast, don't use my phone for more than three hours, etc. Also, include fun habits to help you romanticize the day and feel good.

Have time to do things I love: I have noticed that if I don't do the things I love after long period of time, meaning productive only days, I get burned out and more prone to procastinate and get distracted when I get the chance. Make sure you have time to yourself, either be it hobbies or fun activities, you will keep your mind, heart, body (if it's physical) and soul healthy!

Have time to rest and be still: We need to understand that we need rests, so we have to respect it and let us be. Also we need some minutes in silence to connect with ourselves, body and creativity out of all the noise and stimuli.

Maintaining consistency

Plan my day: I plan my daily tasks and my daily schedule, this to not procrastinate overthinking "what I'm going to do?"

Add a place and hour: For any routine, habit or activity decide "Where am I going to do it? At what time or after what habit?"

Habit stacking or multitasking: If I have a "listening habit" (podcast, subliminal, listening to high vibe music) with a "not-thinking alot habit" (tidyin up my space, do the dishes, cooking) habit I do them both at the same time. If I need to do a habit that needs my full attention then it will be done that way.

Include timers (if needed): This helps me know how much time do I need to do my habits and to know if it's taking me more or less time to complete them. I use an app where I have my routines (morning, night, weekly reset, mini manifestation and spiritual healing activities) with each habit having a timer.

Have a habit tracker: In here I write a daily log that includes filling boxes of my daily non negotiable habits and extra habits (that romanticize my life or keep me healthy). Also includes two questions: "What progress did I made today with my goals? Is there something I need tom improve or change in my system?'.

Romanticize! Your habits and activities, routine sets, daily schedule, romanticize your days your way! It's different for everyone, so find out how to add magic into your life.

Wasted day? It's never too late to do something useful. Keep going or journal about what went wrong. I like to remind myself my motivations and ideal lifestyle to mantain myself going forward.

Let's be healthy and organized together! 𑄽𑄺ྀ

#soft productivity #productivitytips #consistency #self growth #routines #healthyhabits #wellness #self improvement #positivity #dream girl #girljournal #hyper feminine #it girl #motivation #my diary #pink blog #that girl #clean girl #girlblogger #dream girl tips #self care #pink pilates princess #self love #girl blogging #mental health #coquette #healthy lifestyle #wellness journey #pink blogger #health & wellness

[i-got-the-feels]

Bad Buddy

@taeminie 1

This quote and them and the rooftop scene for "you will never be friends"!!! Big fucking brained Ali!!

@dengswei 1

Pat's face of love and adoration accompanying as to how he loves pran with his every atom and prans face of heartbreak because he looks at him with despair. Perfect lines for them.

@daymork 1

25-21 x Bad Buddy = me shaking screaming and crying. That too a fucking baek yijin quote. The day this doesn't make me insane (it will never happen)

@snimeat 1

Something about how pat pran balance each other no matter where they go, be it whether they are happy or sad. I think the essence of that is beautifully captured with the quote and pictures you chose gei

@pranpat 1 2 3

1 I don't even need to elaborate. The set fucking begins with "we lead two different lives, just like two lines that never cross"

2 Jay, I hope you know you chose violence by combining richard siken and rooftop scene together. I hope you know what you did.

3 "who will come into the kitchen and be hungry for me?" with that expression of pat. Followed by pran saying "I always wanted to cook for someone I like" I am so so so okay

@sunsetandthemoon 1

You beautifully summarized their whole journey and that is why this is here. It's one of the sets that will always make me emotional

Only Friends

@celestial-sapphicss 1

This song describes the soul of the show. This set captures it.

@alienwlw 1 2 3

1) The words!!! With the shots you chose!! Childhood ray in first set!! And happy smiling ray daring to hope for a future with sand!!

2) this set beautifully captures how ray let's himself be used by mew. Because he thinks that's the kind of love he deserves. That's how much love he deserves. Even though he knows he can have more with sand, that is why he selfishly tried stopping sand to move on.

3) delving deeper into Boston's motivations? Yesssss. His sexual escapades as a way to feel human connection? Give me more

@spicyvampire 1

"You're coming down with me hand in unlovable hand" pleaseee Boston does not know how to define love. And the definitions he has are in conflict with the society he lives in. That's why he is alone. That's why he is hurt. Even if he owned up to his mistakes.

@gunsatthaphan 1

The shot of gifs with the words?? Hues of healing with them holding hands in bathtub? Shadows of patience and hours accompanying sands heartbreak of "ray *was* my 25th hour scene? I have said enough

@smileytharn 1

This. Them holding hands. After the initial hesitation. After ray went to sand to apologise and show how much he means to him. Sand acknowledging that and opening up more to him about music - the thing that means most to him. Amazing zey!

@raypakorn 1

A set capturing Ray's Self-destructive nature perfectly not being on the list? Not today, buddy. Not today. Today, we cry at tanies amazing brain and talent in making this set

@sollucets 1

This song and them? Especially the time ray was "confused" over his feelings for sand. Heartbreak. Never thought a bop pop song can cause this much emotional damage. Amazing job love

@icouldhyperfixatehim 1

What I love about this edit is that captures Boston's journey so well. As a friend. Their friendships fallout and reconciliation, or no reconciliation with mew. As a lover, and being left behind because you both no longer have denial as an option and have to escape the fact that you guys are too different in defining love and hence cannot be together.

@sandrayy 1

Listen this quote goes well with sandrayy. Because if anyone understands the value of Ray's tears and will die rather than see ray cry is sand.

Kinnporsche

@dingyuxi 1

This poem is for them okay? "you are too good at violence and he is too good at forgiving" with scenes you chose will always devastate me

@kinnporsche 1

A big hug and chefs kiss to you because the scenes you chose? Episode 4, Episode 5 angst and Episode 7 ending? Yesssss. They burned for each other. Only when did they give in they found solace because they burned brighter together.

@kinnsporsche 1

The scenes you chose!! Kinn giving into his attraction to Porsche and calling him his sun. Him letting go Porsche as moon when he lets him go. And the scene where he tells Porsche how special he is as stars!!!

@alienwlw 1 2 3 4

1) "I let darkness eat the light" + Vegas standing in tears after kan left after inflicting his violence!!!!!

2) holy water scene with pete telling Vegas he is very hungry and needs to be taken care of?????? The big brained energy never ending with you my friend

3) Vegas being vulnerable openly!! The way you beautifully showed his journey to this point where he confesses his insecurities to pete!!! Insane!! Talented!!

4) pete coming to terms with this side of his? The side that craves violence. The side that craves to be dominated. Amazing

@magicaldreamfox1 1

The gif of pete leaving his job to show his support to Vegas. Even when he didn't know if Vegas would survive or not!!! Brilliant BRILLIANT.

@spicyvampire 1

I AM NOT ON MAIN FAMILY'S SIDE. I AM NOT ON MINOR FAMILY'S SIDE. I AM ON YOUR SIDE = TO TO HELL WITH YOU. galaxy brained. No notes. No words. No thoughts. Just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

@khaotunqs 1

The coloring in the set made me loose it. Black and white with hints of pink? The talent?! Also the quote you chose? Attack on every direction my friend. Mercy please.

@guzhu-furen 1 2

1) a set that highlights a relationship between all the brothers? Ofc i cried. Next question.

2) the fact that even pete didn't know why he went. Until he forced to acknowledge it ofc. The quote is perfect perfect for the scene you have choosen

Between Us

@smittenskitten 1

A parallels of the "be brave for me" scene is made for me. I cry.

Last Twilight

@sandrayy 1 2

1) I have rambled about how the quote goes so well with them in tags and will do again. They both help each other find their purpose. Something they lost along the way by the course their life took. And this existential shit makes me emotional.

2) I love how simple the quote is yet because of the scenes chosen shows the initial flurry of nervousness and excitement when new to liking someone so well

@morkofday 1 2

1) The way they both met each other just days ago but already cherish each other. As individuals. Not as roles they play in each other's life. I cannot.

2) this!! you cannot tell me that when Mork held on to days chin and dismissed the job opportunity they both didn't have horny visions. You cannot. I think you showed their journey beautifully here.

Also love the oranges in both - i d k if its intentional but love that it goes with the shows name so well.

Love In The Air

@bird-inacage 1

The words just hit me whenever I see this set. Love, your writing is beautiful. The font you have used in the set amazing. The scenes you have chosen are perfect. Thank you for this.

@prapais 1

The softness and protectiveness prapai has towards sky. And how even if he isn't a violentan for nature, he wouldn't hesitate for sky. Uff.

Midnight Museum

@daymork 1

I love the composition of the images. Especially the second one. Showing his fate across universes before showing their conversation in third image? The sense of hope that I got after the feeling of futility?? Totally brings across the feelings i have towards the damn articraft.

@alexshenry 1

The coloring of purple and yellow is so fucking dreamy. And something about Kathadome and moon - a universal symbol of hope, of light in darkness??? Amazing my love Nuria

@hoppipolla 1

I am so sorry love. I adore your set because it brings out the universal truth. Time doesn't erase the pain. It's just that we learn to manage it better. Thanks to people around us. The same happened with Katha. I am so glad I found this set

My School President

@pharawee 1

Their friendship!! They will always be there for each other. Gun can be vulnerable with them without worry. Something he doesn't easily do probably cause he doesn't want to worry his mum. But all his friends encourage him to be open and vulnerable. They tell him he is okay and how just because he is strong he doesn't always have to be strong.

@chinzillas 1

Anna!! This edit is one of those forever emotional damage causing arts. It perfectly gets the slice of life, I am growing up. I aam happy but scared to grow up. I am leaving behind the me i currently know. Will I like how I grow to be? How much of it can I control? The anxiety, the home, the excitement, the dreams, the optimism, the hope and the fears we all have as young adults is so fucking beautifully felt in this edit.

Not me

@dimpledpran 1

I cannot believe I discovered this edit so late. The quote is so fucking accurate. And the scenes chosen? Especially for the second gif with tawi??? Big brained energy

@taeminie 1

The scenes you chose for how the kingdom lights shined and one day we will be remembered are PERFECT

@magicaldreamfox1 1

A black and white journey edit in interaction with their parents? Those parents who are people in power and that maintain the very system their kids are revolting against? Delicious

@morkofday 1

I am so glad I requested this set because your badassself delivered. The differences in their ideologies is shown so beautifully here. I cry.

Vice Versa

@ardentlytess 1

Whenever I see this edit, it makes me nostalgic. This is the edit I shall use when persuading my friends to watch vice versa. It captures their journey so beautifully.

@daymork 1

They fell in love with each other without knowing each other's faces. Survived travelling across universe. And had "thank you for being born so that I can love you" so no they aren't ever ending

Never Let Me Go

@shuyis 1

This quote and Palm??? Perfection. He didn't hate his mother for leaving him. Sure he was hurt ans confused but he gave her the benefit of doubt. And when he met her and heard her reason? He accepted her. He loved her. He grieved her loss. He didn't hate his father who left him when he was a boy to go a protect a boy his age. He was concerned for his father's safety and well being. Hell he didn't even hate the boy or boys family. Palm was kind in true sense of the word.

@jyuubin 1

Not tooting my horn but in one of my sets I made for nlmg I wrote a line. It was "if the choice between me and you, it's not a difficult choice at all. I'd always choose you" and I love how this set captured that. Palm didn't give up on him and Nueng even when Nueng became scared and did. He fought for them.

Moonlight Chicken

@maggiecheungs 1

This set inspired me to make my basic-ass set. Need I say more as to how much I adore this?

@jimmysea 1

Heart and li ming don't just see each other. They welcome each other. And the thing about welcoming someone is you understand everyone has their own time of coming to you. They gave each other the time required without rushing the other and the quote you chose just gets this across so well

@raypakorn 1

The damn quote. With Alan. And the scene you chose. "I am on business of loosing your interest". Yeah so okay I am.

@pharawee 1

The neon font just fits so well with the vibe of the show. Light in between darkness. Feeding people at night when people are most tired.

@taeminie 1

The quote goes so so so fucking well with heart and li ming. For heart, li ming is the first person to make accommodations for his need without showing him pity. His gratitude, amazement and love for li ming just come across so well.

The Eclipse

@youdontloveme-yet 1 2 3

The day I am not wrecked over by these 3 sets you made for eclipse is the day you can consider sun has risen from west. What were you thinking while making these? "chasing after echoes" for akk???? "there are only remnants left of you" for Ayan??????

@morkofday 1

The sense of home they give for each other. Akk can keep his fears of inadequacy at rest when with Ayan because Ayan accepts and cherishes him as he is. Ayan can take off his mask of strength off and show his grief and sadness because akk will be there to support him.

To Sir, With Love

@shyishsarawat 1

Listen for a low-heat soap opera? These dudes fucked a lot through their eyes. And when they touched? Yeah that was hotter than any kiss. And i think the quote perfectly captures the tension, devotion, adoration and love they share for each other

@tinnchan 1

Take me to church?????? With to sir with love??? Nads I wish I could say more but my brain just goes AHHHH THIS SONG IS THEM THEY ARE READY TO DIE FOR EACH OTHER THEY ARE EACH OTHER'S RELIGION THEY WORSHIP THEIR LOVE. THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS THEIR SHRINE.

Things to note

These include edits that I found in 2023.

These include edits that gave me the feels.

Thank you for your art. They make the experience of watching the show all the more fun. It helps in appreciating the characters. It helps me see them in new light.

Looking forward to see more of art from amazing artists on here.

To people I didn't tag - tumblr tagging limit sucks. Your art is beautiful simply because it's made. You made it with a feeling and that in itself is beautiful.

Also, the tag is #becauseigtf in case yall wanna tag me in future :)

#2023 wrap up #thank you artists

[rosedragonblast]

This bitch makes me go from Asexual to Doubtsexual, so here is my take about how, imo, Melinoe and Zagreus can properly meet each other.

Hades sits upon his throne, finally feeling a bit of relief. His heart beating slowly, tension disappearing into the air. There is still a lot to be done, a lot of things to be put in place.

Some of the gods are still trapped, unable to break free of the chains which Chronos and his minions casted upon the realm. But, even so. With much arrogance, the Titan stated that his chains are not to be broken by any godly creature. Yet, Melinoe found a way. Her stubbornness, combined with wit, sharp mind and compassion promised to bring a beam of light into this dark world in it's worst times.

House of Hades stands strong still, among the demon spawn who try to brake in, desperate to free their master. In the dark depths of the Underworld itself, somewhere where only Chaos may reach, stands a prison, which now serves as a permanent place of rest for the Titan of Time himself. Chronos screams into the void, but only turning it to the music of victory for one young goddess.

She stares into the darkness. Not scared, joyous or sad. Tired, but satisfied. Her purpose, her life-long dream of vengeance. Finally coming true before her own eyes, by her own hand. A feeling, sweeter than anything nectar could provide, lingers on the tongue. It's not how Melinoe imagined it, but she can't complain. If the fates so decided, it's not her place to argue about the taste of her triumph.

The goddess stretches herself, rubbing her hand and turning around. Coming out of the pits of the Underworld, feeling a hard floor under her burning feet, Mel lets herself adjust again, before making a few steps forward.

Hades, already deep in his work, notices his daughter. He feels her more than sees her. Turning his head, the God of the Dead looks at her with a hint of soft expression.

— Are you feeling well, Melinoe?

— I'm quite well, father. Just...Tired, i suppose. There is still a lot of blood of the Surface running through those veins. I need to adjust, heal. But all will be fine, I know it. Nothing shall stop me from completing my quest.

— Don't rush, daughter, — Hades sighs, his face shifting into slight concern. — You shouldn't go at it alone. Now, that you have support of the House, of Hekate and your associates, you shall lean more into their help. I think they'll be happy to oblige.

— I think I shall choose my own path in regards to finishing off Chronos' forces. But, thank you for the concern, father. I really should let myself breathe out for a bit.

Hades puts his hands against the table. Melinoe adjusts her hair, going further into the House. Something always rings, sounds and bangs in here. Souls moving along, some of the workers getting head first into their work. Melinoe goes out of the way, going towards the river Stix.

A pair of green and red eyes look at her from the reflection. Mel leans into the railing, as if trying to ask something of the red water. She listens. And it answers.

Hearing a faint whisper, guiding her up the stream, Melinoe hesitates. Another one of Chronos' tricks? Doesn't seem like it. The titan shouldn't have such an influence on the realm to affect the waters of the Stix to such an extent. Thinking for just a bit, Mel braces herself, closes her eyes and lets her body fall into the water.

Hearing distant gasps, the princess looks around. If feels...Like home. The water doesn't reject. It embraces, with all the arms of the dead swimming through. Melinoe holds her breath, trying to hear the whisper again.

It catches up to her. Louring her away. Feeling like she has to catch a breath, the goddess sees something familiar. A figure frozen in time. It holds up a sword, as if it's trying to fight an unseen foe. Opening her eyes wider, Mel reaches out. Further and further in, the water becomes thicker. It almost stops, barely holding on. Melinoe makes a final effort to grab the silhouette, her fingers holding onto their clothes.

Suddenly feeling herself being pulled up, Melinoe swings the frozen body into her arms.

Stix spits them out in a flash, with goddess gasping for air and coughing out the red liquid. Catching her breath, Mel sits up, trying to fill her lungs with the much needed cold air of the Underworld. Turning around, taking in another breath, she opens her eyes even wider, flapping her wet eyelashes.

Zagreus, laying on his back, stares into the seeling, as if he's trying to understand if it's another part of his endless dream. Melinoe goes closer, leaning over the god of blood. Zag rubs his eyes open, seeing a mirrored pair of red and green. Mel gifts him with a very soft smile, knowing exactly who she's staring at.

— Who is this water-drenched goddess, if I may ask?

— Your little sister, I suppose.

— You seem a little too big to be a little sister.

Melinoe laughs. She smiles just like their mother does. Zag pauses for a second, seeing Mel's beautiful, relaxed face surrounded by lights, created by fire lamps.

— Silly.

Mel leans closer, leaving a gentle kiss on her older brother's forehead.

#hades 2 #hades ii #hades game #hades supergiant #zagreus #melinoe #melinoë #those two are living in my head rent free #give mel some family love #poor thing can't even joke properly #death to chronos #hades

[liltingoddesss]

august 3rd.

happy birthday to the one and only James Hetfield. to my favorite person in the whole world.

i literally have no words for this man. no words to describe how much i love him. to describe the impact he has on my life.

there's no person i admire as much as him.

i love everything about him. his music, his personality, his energy, his smile, his eyes. EVERYTHING.

i love hearing him talk about the way he sees life. i love seeing his passion while performing. i love seeing how much he has matured and developed as a person over the years. i love seeing his excitement when he talks about his passions. i love him. i love loving him.

he's the person that is always there for me without even knowing. just listening to his music, watching an interview of his or just looking at him can heal my soul.

i'm so grateful he exists and i wish i could say this to him. i wish i could give him a huge warm hug and tell him how much he means to me.

there are so many more things i have in mind but i can't form any other sentences. no matter what i say it'll never be enough to describe the endless love i have in my heart for him.

happy birthday, James!

i'm wishing you all the best in the world.

i love you!

Liz <3

#james hetfield #metallica #papa het #james #hetfield #birthday #i love him so much #i love him #he's the love of my life #he is the loml #loml #happy birthday #i cried while writing this #i cried because of how much i love him

[hollywoodxwhore]

Ours | Chapter 9

Colson x Presley (Original Female Character)

Synopsis: Presley and Colson fell in love accidentally, but they were meant to be. Now that all the obstacles have been removed, they're moving in together in LA. Now, they have all the time in the world for Colson to teach Presley all of the things he knows. This fic is the sequel to Mine, which can be found in my masterlist!

Warnings/Content: Smut (18+), swearing, fluffy romantic shit, col and pres getting married

I couldn't wait any longer.

Colson

Three Months Later

“We’re motherfucking number one!” Rook’s voice is a scream, startling all of us. Somehow, he was the first one to read the text and now the rest of us scramble to grab our phones, reading the group text. 

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Cash says, eyes wide as he looks around at each of us. “Is this real?”

“Get used to it,” Slim says with a happy laugh, clapping Cash on the back. “Only number ones from here on out.”

I’m speechless. Normally, my reaction is to jump up and scream, but in this moment, I’m shell shocked. Deep down, I was scared that it was a fluke, that Tickets hit at just the right time and people were so startled by its newness that they couldn’t help but listen. Releasing Mainstream Sellout was, quite honestly, terrifying.

It’s darker than Tickets. It’s my diary, essentially, my soul bared for my fans and critics to analyze, to judge. As much as I want to make music just because I love it, as little as I want to care about fame, I wanted a number one so desperately that I was almost insane about it. Could we do it again? Were we only good for one pop punk album? Was the Machine Gun Kelly craze here and gone before we knew it?

Realistically, I know I have fans that will ride til the end, no matter what type of music we make. But what if we lose some? What if they’re sick of the pop punk vibe and want rap back and can’t wait until we release another rap album? I’ve been torn about this album for a long time. We delayed the release date twice before Slim finally told me to fuck off and gave permission to release it.

And here we are with our second rock album going number one.

“Colson.” I shake my head a little, coming out of my daze to realize that Presley has been saying my name repeatedly. I look at her sheepishly and rub the back of my neck. My fiancee’s beautiful green eyes sparkle with amusement and she chuckles. “Where’d you go, baby?” she asks, resting her hand on my shoulder.

I reach over and pull her into my arms, squeezing her tight. She climbs into my lap, embracing me, and I close my eyes. “Sorry,” I murmur into her hair. “Just doesn’t feel real. I didn’t think it was going to happen,” I confess.

I can feel her smile against my neck. She presses a kiss there. “I did,” she says simply, then gets off my lap. I look at her for a moment and I realize that she really means it. She never doubted for a second that we’d go number one. 

When Megan and I were together, she tried so hard to convince me that pop punk wasn’t the way to go. “You can’t just switch genres,” she said, that grimace that was so often on her face apparent. 

I frowned. “We’re not switching genres,” I argued defensively. “We’ve always done rock. We’ve always had guitar and singing on our albums.” It occurred to me all of a sudden that maybe Megan had lied to me. If she’d listened to our old stuff like she claimed she did, then she would know this. She would never say something so insulting.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m bored.” I was working; we were in the studio, but when she stood up and took off her dress before crawling into my lap, I knew work was going to be delayed. I sighed and tried to pretend that she hadn’t hurt me. 

Now my girl sits beside me beaming with pride as I hug and high five my band, celebrating our second number one rock album. Megan was wrong in so many ways. The longer I’m with Presley, the more and more the pain of Megan fades. Pres is healing me without even meaning to.

Later that night when Presley and I are celebrating in our bed, her back to my chest with my hand wrapped in her silky black hair, I feel such a burst of love for her that it’s almost overwhelming. I keep one arm wrapped around her waist as I kiss her neck, groaning. “Presley, baby, I love you so much.”

“Col,” Pres whines as I fuck into her, her ass shaking against my hips.

“Pres,” I pant. “I don’t want to wait. Let’s get married.”

“Right now?” Presley cries, curling her hand around my wrist, but I don’t stop fucking her.

“Not right now,” I say with a breathless laugh. “Let’s fucking go to Vegas and just do it.”

“Colson,” Presley says, but it melts into a moan. “Are you serious? I don’t want to go to Vegas,” she says, bewildered. “T-too many people.”

I laugh into her neck, biting down gently. “Then let’s go to the courthouse,” I pant. “Cash and Liv can be our witnesses.”

“Please don’t talk about my brother when I can feel you behind my fucking belly button,” Presley groans, and I start to laugh so hard that we lose balance. Presley falls forward onto her stomach and I follow, rutting against her. We’re both too close to stop this and have a real conversation, so I speed things up, slipping a hand beneath her hips.

Presley whimpers and fists the sheets as I rub circles in her clit, and I hold off until I feel her start to clench around me. We come at the same time, our sounds mingling in the warm air around us. When we’re done, I roll off of Pres and grab some tissues, breathing hard.

Once she’s cleaned up, I pull her onto my chest, tip her chin up, and kiss her. I kiss her with everything in me. With all the love and pride and joy I feel. Presley melts on top of me and makes a soft, helpless sound, and I know I have her. She doesn’t want to wait either. I want her to be my wife. 

It’s crazy to think we met in September, got together in October, and now, in April, I’m ready to marry her. I guess it’s true what they say: when you know, you know.

“Cols?” Presley murmurs, breaking me from my thoughts. I look down at her and bite my lip. She looks extra beautiful like this, hair messy and eyes glassy with pleasure. I can’t help but kiss her swollen lips once more. “I don’t want a big wedding,” she says.

“No?” I ask, hope rising in my chest.

Presley shakes her head. “No. I don’t even want one,” she admits. “Did you mean it? Do you really want to go to the courthouse? Because if that’s what you want…” I can tell just by the way she talks about it that she’s relieved by the thought of not having a huge wedding. She likes simple things, and a courthouse wedding just might be perfect for my girl.

“Pres, I’d marry you however and wherever and whenever you want,” I tell her, tucking her hair behind her ear. “All I care about is that I’m marrying you.” 

Presley bites her lip. “You won’t be disappointed if we get married at the courthouse?”

I shake my head, grinning. “No, baby. I’ll be thrilled.”

“We’ll have to put off our honeymoon,” she says. “Too much to do with the new album.”

I shrug. “We’ll figure it out,” I tell her, stroking her cheek. 

“Col?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.” Her voice is small. My brow furrows and I tilt my head a little so I can see her better. The blinds are open and the light from the moon casts a silvery shadow over the bed, illuminating Presley’s face. The shadows of her eyelashes are outlined on her cheeks and she looks almost ethereal, like she couldn’t possibly be real.

“For what?” I ask, a little breathless with my love for her.

“For knowing me.” She bites her lip and my heart skips a beat. I’m quiet, giving her time to sort out her thoughts. “For not wanting to change who I am but for embracing it. I was so scared when I met you. Of everything.” 

I know this is true. It breaks my heart to know she lived in fear for so long. I lift her hand to my lips and press gentle kisses to her fingertips.

“You showed me I don’t have to be afraid,” she says. “You showed me that I deserve to be loved for exactly who I am.”

“Pres,” I say, voice thick with emotion. “Fuck, baby. You showed me the same damn thing. You know that, right?”

Presley laces our fingers together and nods. “Col, I want to be with you forever,” she says. “I don’t want to live in a world where I’m not yours.”

“Jesus,” I say, shaking my head in awe that someone like Presley could ever love someone like me. I cover her mouth with my own and push a hand into her hair, keeping her face close to mine. Our hearts pound fiercely against one another as her hand slides to my bicep and squeezes. “Marry me,” I say as I break the kiss, “tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Presley laughs right against my mouth, and I love the sound and the taste of it. “Fuck, Colson. I’m going to be your wife tomorrow?”

“Hell yeah, Presley Baker,” I say, and the sound of her name paired with mine makes my stomach flip in the best way. And then, we stop talking entirely, practicing how we’ll consummate our marriage tomorrow. 

Presley said she would marry me today on three conditions.

One - Cash and Olivia will be our witnesses.

Two - We still dress up in our wedding clothes (yes, Presley already has her dress).

Three - We still get to say personal vows. 

I agreed to all three, so here we are, preparing for our wedding in two different places. I slept at Cash and Olivia’s last night so Presley and I wouldn’t see each other on our wedding day until the ceremony. I’m still here, Cash securing a flower to my suit while Olivia and Presley get ready at our house. 

“You sure you want to marry my sister?” Cash jokes as he takes a step back. He’s grinning, dimples carved into his cheeks. “Looks good, man.”

I glance at myself in the mirror. No one can blame me or act surprised by my pale pink suit. I love how it looks, and my hair looks damn good, too. I can only imagine how stunning Presley is going to look. We’re going to have a small “reception” after the ceremony with some of our closest friends. Sam will take pictures, and then we’ll go home to our house as husband and wife. 

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life,” I admit to Cash as I slip into my shoes. My hands are sweaty as I tuck my vows into the inner pocket of my coat. “You’ve got the rings?”

Cash pats the pocket of his dress pants and nods. “Safe and sound. You ready?”

I take one more look in the mirror. In less than an hour, I will have a wife. “Ready,” I croak.

When we arrive at the courthouse, the girls are already there. Presley is hiding away somewhere while Olivia, Cash, and I talk to the Justice of the Peace. I’m half listening as she explains how the ceremony will go. It’s very simple: the Justice says a few words, we share our vows and exchange rings, she pronounces us married, we sign the marriage license, and boom. 

“Are we ready to get started?” the Justice asks. 

I swallow hard. “Ready,” I say. 

The Justice of the Peace is a woman in her fifties with locs and eyes that crinkle in the corners when she smiles. “Congratulations,” she says, patting my shoulder. 

Olivia and I follow her into the courtroom. Cash is going to be walking Presley down the “aisle”, so he goes to find her. I wipe sweaty hands on my pants as Olivia and I approach the front of the room where the Justice stands. 

“Ready, Col?” Olivia asks, reaching up to fix my hair. “You look great. I’m so happy for you.” Hey eyes brim with tears and I pull her in for a hug.

“Thank you,” I say tightly, trying not to cry. I release her when someone clears their throat, and then, all of my attention is on the woman who is going to be my wife in just a few minutes.

I knew from the first time I saw her that Presley was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. As she stands in the doorway, her arm wrapped around her brother’s, I realize she’s even more beautiful than I ever thought possible.

Her dress is her in every sense of the word. It’s white, per tradition, but it’s sexy as hell while still being classy. Lace drapes over her tall frame as the dress hugs her curves, emphasizing her hips and breasts. Her long hair cascades down her back, pearls decorating the top of her head. Her hair is split in a tight middle part with the top smoothed back behind her ears as the rest hangs loose and flowy. Her makeup is flawless, making her eyes pop, and I can tell she’s wearing heels as she’s closer to Cash’s height than usual.

I have to remind myself to breathe as she smiles at me, bouncing on her toes with excitement. I let out a breathless laugh and press a hand flat to my chest, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat. Cash is beaming as they start to walk toward me. Every second that passes that she isn’t in my arms makes it harder and harder to breathe. This woman is going to be my wife.

Finally, after what feels like forever, Cash and Presley stop in front of me. Cash wraps her in a fierce hug, whispering words to her that I can’t make out. Then, he throws his arms around me in a huge bear hug. “You’re about to be my brother,” he says thickly, and tears sting in my eyes as I hug him so hard it almost hurts. He pulls away, steps aside, and then, all I see is Presley.

She steps forward, giving me her hands, and I let out a breath. Along with it come a few tears, but I don’t even care. I’ve never felt love like this, never felt emotion like this. “Hi baby,” she whispers, and I can tell she’s emotional, too. Her eyes glitter with unshed tears.

“Hi,” I say back, voice rough with emotion. “My god, you’re stunning.”

“You’re gorgeous,” she breathes, and then she’s in my arms. I hold her close, breathing in her intoxicating scent, and close my eyes. After a few moments, we pull back and step in front of the Justice, who’s smiling.

“Wow,” she remarks. “I’ve done this many times and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen two people more in love than the pair of you.”

Presley and I look at each other and beam.

“We are gathered here today to join the two of you in marriage,” the Justice says. “You have chosen to read your own vows. Who will start?”

“Me,” Presley says quickly, and I let go of her hands so Olivia can hand her vows over. Presley clears her throat and I notice her hands are trembling as she unfolds the paper. She meets my eyes and then looks down at her paper. She takes a deep breath and begins.

“Colson Baker. Less than a year ago, you were my celebrity crush. You still are, if I’m being honest. In the time I’ve known you, you have become my everything. My confidant, my inspiration, my safe place. The love of my life and my best friend.

“It’s hard to think that I lived without you for as long as I did. My eyes and my heart were closed to so many things before you. I didn’t know love like this actually existed outside of romance novels, but Col, you’re my real life love story.

“Colson, I promise to always love you and to always like you. I promise to always laugh at your jokes, even the cheesy ones. I promise to be your biggest fan and supporter. I promise to always be backstage or front row at your shows, screaming the loudest for you. I promise to always be your muse and your sounding board for ideas. 

“I promise to build a family with you when we’re ready. I promise to make you so happy that the pain you’ve felt in the past is a distant memory. Colson, I promise that I will always, always be yours, baby. I love you more than life.”

When she finishes, we’re both crying. It’s messy and almost pathetic, and we both laugh wetly when our respective witnesses hand us each a tissue. Once we’re a little more put together, the Justice asks Cash for my ring. He steps forward and hands it to Presley. 

The ring is black with roses on it, engraved on the inside. Presley slips the ring onto my finger. It fits perfectly and I nearly lose my breath looking down at my wedding ring.

“Colson, you may proceed with your vows,” the Justice says.

I nod and swallow hard, pulling my vows from my suit. I unfold the paper and clear my throat, looking at Pres for a long moment before looking at the paper. “Presley Maeve Carver,” I begin. “You came into my life when I needed you most and you never left.

“I had pretty much sworn myself to a life of solitude when we met. I remember when your brother told me to stay away from you. I was so mad, but now that I look back, I can’t blame him. I wasn’t on the right path. But Presley, you helped me find the path I so desperately needed.

“Pres, you’ve shown me what unconditional love is. You’ve shown me that every part of me is worth loving, even the dark parts that I’ve tried so hard to keep hidden. You make me feel so safe and so wholly myself. 

“I promise to love you no matter what happens. I promise to continue to write songs about you. I promise to always stare at you whether you’re dressed like this or wearing no makeup. I promise to hold your hand and kiss you as much as you want. I promise I will never let you down.

“I promise to be the best father to our children and the best husband to you. You make it easy, my love. I can’t wait to spend an eternity with you. I love you, Presley.”

More tears. After another couple of tissues, I slide Presley’s wedding band onto her finger, joining her engagement ring, and we take hands again. I’m shaking but I’m so beyond happy.

“Colson Baker,” the Justice of the Peace says, smiling up at me. “Do you take Presley Maeve Carver to be your wife?”

I look down into Presley’s emerald eyes. “I do,” I say firmly. 

“Presley Maeve Carver,” the Justice continues. “Do you take Colson Baker to be your husband?”

Pres squeezes my hands and smiles widely. “I do.”

“By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the Justice says. “Colson, you may kiss your bride.”

And fuck, do I.

Presley is in my arms in seconds, her body tipped back as I kiss her, tender and passionate and so full of love. She clings to me as we kiss, our tiny crowd cheering, and god, I don’t ever want to come up for air. I never want to let this woman go.

But I never have to.

Taglist:@triplexdoublex@jaxbreaker@mgklove99xx@jinx-on-mars-19xx@iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @anonymousme86 @whiteleoqueen @feroniakutenpuu@hxllywoodwhxree

#mgk #mgk fanfic #mgk fan fiction #mgk smut #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly fanfic #machine gun kelly fan fiction #machine gun kelly smut #machine gun kelly fluff #colson baker #colson baker fanfic #colson baker fan fiction #colson baker smut #colson baker fluff

[traumatizedjaguar]

Hi I love your blog, a lot. Still processing some horrific things of my own. How do you get through the darkest moments? I hate mine.

Honestly for me how I got through some dark moments...

Music. Usually a technique I learned from therapy was putting music on that was the opposite of my current emotion; if I was sad or depressed or whatever I'd put happy tunes on or if I was angry, calming tunes. Sometimes finding music that allowed me to let out emotions too like if I was angry I'd listen to a few angry songs from Slipknot for example and have a little session to myself, then I'd go relax. Music affects my mood, but it's not like that for everyone. I made a playlist for "abuse recovery" meaning the songs are more uplifting, makes me feel like a warrior.

Survivors stories. Listening to others stories of their complex abuse they've been through and saving them all in a word document to go back to later. Finding people I relate to who've been through the EXACT same abuse I have been through. It helps finding out you're not the only scapegoat or you're not the only one with many abusers and rapists. It helps to know I've met people with 15, 16, 18, and 25 abusers before.

Meditation. It sounds stupid to most people but if you research the affects meditation has on the human body and brain when you use it daily or on a consistent schedule in the long-term, it's amazing to know what it does for you. It's hard at first, but eventually you get used to it. And sometimes I have a focus point when meditating, such as listening to my breathing going in and out in a quiet space so my thoughts don't drift; because drifting thoughts or worrying isn't meditating so like I said, it's hard at first. But your mind gets so used to it after awhile.

Changing my environment. I've rearranged my whole room, put posters up, painted it so it feels like I'm in a different house sometimes. Adding something new and different to your life like a hobby or something you've never tried and do it often, it can be a good distraction. I like using distractions often.

(TW: God mention. Skip this paragraph if needed be. This one might just be me) Putting my faith in God Our Creator and having had many communications with him before. Sharing my space with him, inviting him on walks with me, telling him about my day although he sees everything I do, and asking him about his "day". I got into talking to Norse gods and the Creator and it has helped so much knowing a divine entity who created everything in the universe wants me to be safe and heal and actually told me this in many ways; who tells me he loves me and knows I'm a very loved good soul in his eyes. (I try but never feel that way).

Doing the scary thing and reaching out. I have reached out to people and told them my story and told them about my abusers and they've believed me. Focusing only on the ones who believed me even though my story is insanity with abusive parents, abusive brother and abusive exes who all smear campaigned me and many of them raped me too. No matter how much complex abuse, there was people out there and other victims who took my side. I only focus on the good ones, not the bad ones who don't believe me. Because once I shut out EVERYONE except the good ones, then my world only has love in it.

>>Making word documents for healing. I learned I was in a freeze state recently and I've been teaching myself about it through online trauma therapists (I'm so happy to be living in the digital age) and I've learned about it and I'm doing the work necessary everyday to teach my brain different and rewire it. It's also why I shut down around abusers and can barely speak even when I want to.

>>Trauma therapists: Crappy Childhood Fairy, Patrick Teahan to name a few. Patrick Teahan helped me so much specifying types of sibling abuse that were SO SPECIFIC to what ive been through and scapegoating in family systems, he taught me about how some family systems gang up against one family member (so like 6 family members for example, against one of the kids in order to scapegoat properly there's many abusers in most situations) and how im not the only one with many abusers in one family and im not the only scapegoat. He also made videos that were WAYYYY to specific to the abuse I endured and wayyyy to specific to the behaviors and belief system my abusers held. He has so many great videos for people like me. First time I listened to a few of his videos on family abuse, I was overwhelmed with emotion and joy and it made my heart and stomach flutter. I love Patrick Teahan so much and hes a real therapist too.

Make stuff, build stuff, start projects.

#my text #asks #cptsdhealing #cptsd recovery #ptsd recovery #childhood trauma #trauma therapists #trauma specialists

[writingmaneskin]

Home is Where The Heart is - A Damiano David Story || Chapter Thirty Two || END

Description: Learning how to love again, how to heal and that it’s okay to move on and rebuild yourself after dealing with so much pain.

Words: 2k

A/N: I am crying as I write this (😭). Thank you for believing in this story that started out as a daydream on a walk and that ended up changing my life. Thank you for believing in me and supporting me. Thank you for loving the characters I created and for sticking with me and with them. Thank you.

PS. There is a time-jump between the previous chapter and this one.

THE HIWTHI MASTERLIST

THE MAIN MASTERLIST

kofi || taglist || come chat

The David household was full of music. Beautiful, lively music. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he worked on the dinner menu that he was preparing for the little gathering. Eli was on a call in the space the two of them had adapted as an office, Dante alternating between dancing along with the music and helping his papa (read: causing chaos) in the kitchen. 

His soul felt lighter. It was like seeing light at the end of the tunnel - a very long tunnel that had really put his mental health through things that he never thought he’d experience. But as each day passed, he felt lighter, he felt closer and closer to being able to enjoy life again, the fears that had chased him awake for so many nights, slowly fading into shadows. 

Lost in thought, he got startled when Eli wrapped their arms around his middle and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

“I am all yours now, how can I help?” Eli spoke quietly.

He leaned back and pressed a kiss to their temple. 

“Just keep me company, I’ve got this.” He reassured them, Eli sitting down immediately on one of the chairs next to the kitchen island.

“Is everyone truly coming?” Eli asked, trying to do the math of how many people would show up. 

“Yes, they promised.” 

“How will we fit fifteen people here?” Eli asked.

“It will be cosy, don’t worry.” Damiano winked at them, earning a faint blush from them.

“How much exactly did I miss while I was working?” Eli raised their brow.

“Not much, but it will be a nice surprise, I guess.” Damiano chuckled and went to give them a kiss. 

The doorbell rang and interrupted their moment. 

“Who is it this early?” Eli looked at the clock, realising that there was still more than an hour until the official gathering time.

“I got it, don’t worry.” Damiano rushed to open the door and greeted Thomas and Tom who were carrying a big box together.

“Listen, the only reason we agreed to this free labour is because you promised pasta.” Thomas said as a way of greeting.

“I am holding up my end of the bargain, don’t worry.” Damiano laughed.

“If you don’t, I am leaving him here until you make him the pasta you promised.” Tom promised. 

“You can’t leave me behind!” Thomas protested.

“Fine, we’ll both stay here and make their lives miserable until we are fed pasta.” Tom grinned. 

“Ethan is behind us with your brother, bringing the chairs.” Tom announced.

“This is going to be so much fun, I need to go cook!” Damiano clapped his hands and rushed back to the kitchen, seeing that Eli stepped up to stir the sauce.

“Ciao, we bring more things.” Ethan shouted from the door. 

“I think Vic said she is bringing booze.” Thomas mentioned as he and Tom started unpacking the table and setting it right with Tom and Ethan.

“He invited all of us and we still have to pull our weight around here, can you imagine!” Damiano heard his brother joke from the other room. 

“Go and see your brother, I know you miss him. I got this.” Damiano kissed Eli, who looked a bit sad to be asked out of the kitchen yet happy to be able to steal some time with Tom.

**

Eli did as they were bid, even though they wanted to help around with the preparations. They had seen Damiano be excited about this event, he hadn’t shared much about the reason for gathering all of them and Eli had decided not to push, knowing that he would come around when he was ready.

“Hi.” Tom pulled them in a bone crushing hug and spun them around.

“Hi.” Eli held him tightly. 

“I think it’s time for a smoke break for me.” Tom announced, looking if anyone would dare to challenge his words but they only laughed, Ethan taking over what Tom had been doing around the table.

“Are you okay?” Eli held their brother’s hand tightly as the two went to the balcony.

“More than okay.” Tom reassured them.

“I miss you.” Eli admitted.

“I miss you too but you said it yourself - things change.” Tom hugged them again after lighting a cigarette.

“I can’t believe that all my favourite people live within the same city limits yet I can’t spend as much time as I’d like with them.” Eli admitted quietly, voicing the words that had been haunting them for a little while.

“Your work requires you to, though. I know the feeling, I know the pain. Don’t think that I like that I don’t see you as often.” Tom rested his head on their shoulder and kept holding them.

“Which is why I sometimes hate my job.” Eli grumbled.

“A light goes out in your eyes when you are not being creative. Maybe in time we will find a way where you can spend more time with us without sacrificing that light to get to it.” 

“I feel like I miss so much.” 

“I know, but seeing your joy and pride in your creative accomplishments is unmatched.” 

“They won’t keep my son happy when he grows up. They won’t be here for him as he develops into a human.” Eli argued.

“Eli, you were gone for two weeks, and you still have a little bit more work to do before settling here for a longer period of time. Did you offer Damiano and Dante join you?” 

“No, because even if they did, I’d still barely see them.” 

“Offer it, it will give you a bit of peace of mind.”

“I’ll consider it.”

“If you don’t, I’ll ship them off to you.” 

Eli chuckled and held onto their brother.

“Your family loves you and we are patiently and excitedly waiting for you.” Tom reassured them.

“I love all of you more than anything.” It was all Eli managed to say.

**

“Now, the party has arrived.” Vic announced as soon as Thomas opened the door for her. She was carrying two bags with various drinks and was trailed by Auri and Angie who brought various snacks and soft drinks with them.

“Good, you can help with setting up the chairs and organising everything.” Thomas suggested helpfully.

“I will help with other things, thank you very much.” Victoria grinned and walked straight to the kitchen where Damiano was still cooking.

“Ciao! The party has arrived.” Vic put the bags on the kitchen island and went to hug Damiano. He chuckled and held her for a moment.

“I am glad you came.” 

“It’s not like I was given much choice.” Vic teased.

“It’s a big evening.” Damiano said ominously.

“I am not wearing waterproof makeup, don’t even think of proposing to Eli.” 

“I am not proposing.” Damiano insisted and went back to cooking.

“Is everything good between you two?” Vic asked quietly. Damiano looked at his friend surprised.

“Of course it’s good. I love Eli dearly, we are just not at the proposal yet. And even if we were, I would not put them on the spot like that. Tonight is about something else entirely. Don’t be so nosy, you’ll find out in a bit.” 

Vic grinned. 

“You’ve grown up so much lately.” She observed.

Damiano didn’t react to her words, just started taking out the plates from the shelf and started piling them on.

“And not only have you grown but you are settling in yourself, you are much calmer now than you were before. Much calmer than when everything began.” Vic kept going on.

“Thank you.” He responded after a moment.

“You’re welcome.” She kissed his cheek before going to see Dante.

**

It took him a bit longer than he would have liked to finish preparing the food but while he did, his friends set up the table and chairs and eventually, they came around to get table covers, glasses, and they all set the table and then both sets of parents arrived and he started serving the food. 

Eli put Dante in the high chair, placing him next to Vic per his own demand which everyone found adorable. 

Damiano was bursting with joy and was struggling to hide it.

“What’s going on?” Different people tried to inquire but he brushed them off, waiting for everyone to be sitting around the table so he could say the words that have been begging to be let out for a while now. Perhaps longer than he realised.

“Get around the table and you’ll find out.” Damiano only replied, patiently waiting for all fourteen of them to get around the table and sit down. 

“Are any of my children getting proposed to tonight?” Eli and Tom’s mom asked.

Damiano looked at her and shook his head smiling, Thomas following suit.

“Okay, what is going on?” Eli looked from their place next to Damiano once everyone was settled. He stood up and took his glass, raising it in the air.

“Thank you all for coming here.” He started, nerves catching up to him a little bit. 

“You called.” Ethan smiled at him.

Damiano returned the smile.

“The recent years have been very hectic and especially the last few were not only hectic but also busy and chaotic and full of the whole spectrum of emotions. Life showed me all its colours and did not wait for my decision to dive into it. That is not to say that I am complaining about any of it, because I am not.” 

There were smiles all around, and he spotted tears in his mother’s eyes.

“I might not be the smoothest person when it comes to expressing how I feel but I am working on it. I lost too long not being with the person I love.” He smiled at Eli.

“I wasted too long chasing perfectionism and not recognizing that what I have is more than perfect on its own.” 

Eli reached to hold his hand and Damiano leaned down to kiss their hand. 

“I gathered you all here because I wanted to celebrate all of you. To celebrate my love for you. To celebrate life. I sat in darkness for a long time not realising that there is more to life. You helped me chase my dreams, you helped me when I was broken, you sat by my side while I learned how to be a man and a father. You loved me, you took care of me. You opened your hearts for Dante and made sure that we both felt loved and cherished. You gave us family. I am grateful for that, I am grateful for you.” There was a smile on his face that no one had seen in a while - sincere, carefree, joyful smile.

“We love you, Dami. Of course we support you and of course we will be there for you as long as you need us.” His mom spoke up.

“I’d like to start with forever. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without all of you. I love you and I see you. I see your joys, I see your struggles, I am here for you just as you are for me. You are the most important people in my life and I will not stop saying thank you for everything you’ve done for me, for us.” 

There were tears and smiles on his favourite people’s faces. There were tears on his own face. He went around and gave them all hugs and whispered his thanks again and again.

When he got back to Eli and he kissed them gently, taking his sweet time, Tom interrupted them with the words.

“Time for a picture. We need to capture this moment.” He insisted.

Thomas chuckled and went with his boyfriend to set up the camera to take pictures. 

They all gathered, Dante in Damiano’s arms, Eli leaning their head on Damiano’s shoulder. Ethan with his arms wrapped around Aurora. Thomas and Tom together, holding hands, Vic pressing a kiss to Angie’s cheek and Damiano’s brother and Leo standing between both sets of teary-eyed parents. 

**

Hours later, Damiano shared one of the pictures that Tom had taken. He put a heart emoji over Dante’s face to protect his privacy but he wanted the moment on his feed. He wanted to scream it from the top of the world. These are the people that kept him sane, these are the people that he loved most in the world. 

He captioned it, home is where the heart is. 

--

taglist: @iosonoarina @myissuesworld @moonlight-simp @maneskings, @elvirabelle @queendorkula @hiraetheral , @ilwiwbysmv @vita-thrasher @katyldamusic @ethaneskin @oro-e-diamanti, @theimpossiblehologramtree @8iunie @ventvnni @dpaccione @cuzimitaliano @daddydamiano @shehaddreamstoo @iamtashaquinn @alexxavicry @tnu-ree @soficide @bigsimpsimp @ccweasley @aprilgloomisheretostay

#damiano david #maneskin #damiano david x reader #damiano david x you #damiano david x oc #damiano david blurb #damiano david fanfic #thomas raggi #ethan torchio #vic de angelis #hiwthi

[th3-0bjectivist]

The Salvation Day Interviews (2 of 2) with musician Anthony Tadlock

     Dear listener, this is part 2 of 2 of my Salvation Day Interviews with Anthony Tadlock, A.K.A. t-underneaththeradardancing on Tumblr. For reference, Part 1 is here. Without further ado let’s start picking T’s oddly poetic and musical brain once again...

    Mr Tadlock, SD’s style of music seems quite distinct and doesn’t sound exactly like any other band I’ve heard of. When you two record music, what is the specific style you’re aiming for? Do you and Ms Vita Rhie Quintanilla align on any favorite influences that heavily sway your sound? Do you two enjoy the same type of music outside of SD? How much does classical or modern music affect your own expression as musicians?

     whether we are recording - playing live - just fucking around (what passes for "practice/rehearsal ") we dont actually aim for a style - early on we talked in general about "goals" we agreed that what we aim for is transcendent magic healing - and we will settle for being in tune and not sucking - influences many and varied but both agree if on a desert island - and could only have one album it would b miles davis "kind of blue" - we both enjoy a wide range of music...

     everything we hear - have heard - from classical to punk rock influences us - we also play a fair amount of "covers" live - a typical example would be "i know places" which is a kind of dirge by lykke li - vita had never heard it before - it was a staple in my live performances at the time - vita listened to what i had done w it and it became a staple of early performances having morphed into almost a stax type r&b - like many songs we play - we worked out the arrangement during performances with little or no discussion about arrangement

     I find that some of the most effective musical groups out there are duos. There’s just something that seems more concentrated and concise about a duo’s ability to wrap an album in a tight bow. Compared to other musical projects you’ve worked on in the past, do you prefer dealing with one single other creative mind… or many others… and what are the disadvantages of both from your point of view? When you’re playing guitar and she’s singing, for example, how do you deal with the inevitable issue of adding percussion to ‘enhance’ a track or live performance?

    at this time there are actually 3 members of SD - the 3rd is london - he plays guitar and bass - is engineering / producing our next project - at various times we have had a 3rd musician join us for a song or 2 - and there is maggie umber the artist, who created our web site - a video and some behind the scenes stuff - which is not precisely answering the question - i understand about duos though - with 2 minds/ souls it is easier to keep the connection - the unspoken - and be as 1 - with the whole being more than the sum of - it was only in making the album and making hard choices / dealing with forced choices and realities that i realized my true role / gift as a guitarist/musician is being a catalyst for magic to happen - to digress - often at open mics - peeps play along from their seats - impromptu collabs occur - sometimes the whole place becomes the stage - today im gonna prob play 1 song w the host/emcee - we have played 2x together - 1st time was cuz someone who had someone die that they were close to requested she play hendrix purple haze and she asked me if i could - tho i have heard the song countless times - the last time i played parts of it - i was maybe 15 - but it’s a simple structure - i said give me a minnit - went outside tried out chords as i remembered and something resembling the guitar parts - spent maybe 5 minutes total - came back in and said yah sure but u have to sing - no rehearsal - loose and nothing like note for note - ffs i dont play anything note for note or exactly the same way twice –

    anyway - it’s like that w vita - she often asks - can we play xxx - i say sure - look up chords if i dont know and ...w vita it has been consistent magic from the start and while not effortless by any stretch - we both put everything we have into the music as we play - whether we are loosely playing in my dining room / her living room - out in the street - onstage - sometimes we think there is no audience and a neighbor will later say they liked it - or look up on the street and realize we have attracted a small audience - in terms of the limitations - especially when vita isnt playing guitar - partially i am accustomed to playing solo just me and guitar - have developed different strategies for compensating / filling holes in the sound - that said we have wanted a percussionist from day 1 - on the album and ep we used synthesized drums / percussion which can be hard cuz we are a bit quirky - so in some ways salvation day will always be vita and t at the core - tho our 1 performance w london was ez and in some ways our best - and playing w him is ez and natural - unfortunately no recording

    I have but one final query and it’s a general one, so buckle your fuckles. I’m curious Mr Tadlock, what do you think of the state of modern music? When I listen to Salvation Day, I hear a group that is 100% genuine. You’ve got an interesting story and your entire act and delivery is sincere… when I turn on modern radio I just hear utter nonsense. Nonsense that is often dumbed down by multimillion dollar corporations that are trying to turn the talents of others into a saleable product. Do you think the vast majority of modern music is even healthy for people, and is there a conscientious effort on your behalf to keep the presentation pure with Salvation Day?

     the state of modern music ? idk tbh - it’s a scattered and confusing landscape - like always - much of wat is out there is crap - but then again - i lissen to 60s station on sirius when on road trips w the unpoet and much of what i hear is pretty crappy and i love the 60s lol - same same modern music which i get sporadic exposure to via tumblr instagram and youtube - hearing while in cafes or in ride shares - SNL ... and every once in a while an absolute gem is heard so is "mainstream " pop /commercial music "healthy" - fuck if i know - i remember 1st listening to top 40 am radio in 1st grade - loved the chipmonks (Alviiiiiiin!) singing witch doctor - a one off "flying purple people eater " lots of "novelty records " when previously listened to moms opera and frank sinatra - beatles werent on the radar yet but beach boys - mostly vacuous but fun - have gone thru phases - only listened to jazz and opera for almost a decade - have compulsively listened to 1 album or artist for periods - was any of it "healthy" maybe - it fomented trance and being outside myself - sometimes music is entertainment - sometimes just background for a lot of people - but also a way of coming together - a way to express confusing/conflicting emotions - i could critique modern music as being cookie cutter and meaningless - but no more than say doo wop dang a langa ding dong indeed or has there ever been anyone more transgressive than little richard then again chuck berry stooping to my dingaling ffs

     so did we do we trynna keep it "pure" w salvation day - fuck yah - i mean how fucking audacious (pretentious) to call it Path of Sacred Art - i thot our producer understood and they did sorta but - and i love our album but at one point i almost walked away from it - the process slowly grinds - yah rough edges r smoothed but - a case in point - the epitome of early salvation day - the sacred art side was/is "reincarnation" something went terribly wrong in the studio - after spending waaaay too much time recording vita's guitar - and too much autotune on her vocal - her guitar track had a "glitch" making it unusable - by the time that was discovered vita was in davis again - covid was just about to go into the lock down phase ...it was expedient to hire a classic trained studio musician that the producer knew and could record studio quality on his laptop

     and tbh i still am not sure how much of the electric on it is actually me or if some was replaced w same studio guitarist - little dramas like this went on for months during the mixing process and much of the email text exchanges w producer were late night sleep ruining drama - in the interest of ever getting the album finished - vita - whom i gave ultimate decision making since they are her songs - deeply personal - she has literally shed blood (read her book) during the writing of performing recording , allowed almost all of her guitar to b scrapped - replaced by same studio musician - tho to said musicians credit - she did a good job of re creating vita - and if some of my guitar - we only talking about a few notes - was also replaced - she faithfully re created - tho i did go in studio one day a couple weeks after recording was "finished" and laid down a lot of riffs / repeating lines / solos and i was sooooo stoned i truthfully dont remember - in those daze because of intense constant pain - i used what in retrospect were enormous amounts of thc and cbd - no other drugs or alcohol but i was high 24-7 and rarely got as much as 3 hours sleep a night - anyway - so yah we did our best to keep it pure - and there is nothing cookie cutter about the album

     T !!! JFC !!! Thanks so much for your time and your FANTASTIC riffing here on Tumblr. Listen to Salvation Day here on YouTube or here on Spotify. Their website is here. If you liked this post, please spread the word about SD and consider reblogging this set of interviews. And if you haven’t done it yet, scroll to the top and middle-bottom of this post and smash play!

#salvation day #reincarnation #path of sacred art #anthony tadlock #vita rhie quantanilla #interview #music #music on tumblr #audio #audio video #great voice #great instrumentals #california band #san francisco band #rock music #blues music #jazz standards #magical healing

[fanfictionroxs]

Vegas, the raging storm vs Pete, the quiet & self-destructive storm.

This scene is a masterpiece. My eyes keep going back and forth between Pete and Vegas and the subtitles. I don't want to miss a single expression on their faces because god damnit the acting is chef's kiss, the dialogues are heartbreaking, the delivery is perfection (just listen to Build's voice when he says "I feel useless. No. I've always been useless" and Bible's pleading voice), the music, oh god the music. The violin, the way it sings to our souls, showing us Pete's broken self, Pete who has never been the person anyone cared about, Pete whose feelings were always inconsequential because someone else always mattered more, Pete the person, Pete the human who smiles and smiles, fake and hiding the pain of a lifetime.

And he finally breaks.

From Pete's eyes losing all light and going blank to Vegas' eyes growing panicked and scared because this is not who he thought Pete was, who he was falling in love with. For Vegas, Pete was starting to become an anchor, but now he is realising that it is just a glued up anchor that has been struck down, broken apart, shattered... by Vegas.

Pete is like a quiet self-destructive storm; Vegas is the raging one. While Vegas' storm destroys others (in this case Pete), Pete's storm destroys his own self. He doesn't let It touch others, doesn't let it hurt anyone else but himself. It is a storm that brews in his mind and turns him on himself and that is when he starts desiring the most dangerous of releases, death. And Vegas is just now starting to see that. Pete has given him comfort and healing, but Vegas has given him irreparable damage in return which has lead to this breakdown.

In a way, Vegas fell in love with a mask just like Tawan did. The only difference is that the mask protected the most broken parts of Pete that no one has had the privilege to seeing. His pain, his suffering, his truths, nobody knows, nobody... because it's never about him. And Vegas must understand that if the mask stays on, he'll never ever reach Pete, that the relationship will remain forever imbalanced, tilted in favour of Vegas who will receive empathy, but give only hurt in return and this is what it will result in. Pete's growing comfort with dying vs his want to survive and live, the latter might just be ruined forever if Vegas doesn't stop mistreating him (and Pete knows that which is why he runs).

Going to ramble about the kiss of death in a few. Stay tuned people.

#this is just me gushing over the masterpiece that is this scene #vegaspete #pete phongsakorn saengtham #vegas theerapanyakul #thai bl #thai drama #asianlgbtqdramas #kinnporsche the series #character analysis #meta #is this meta? i keep forgetting the meaning #my analysis #fanfictionroxs writes

[v3nusxsky]

Hey not sure if this is how to request but could you maybe do a platonic lesso and student!r based on bohemian rhapsody. Specifically the lyrics ‘mama i dont wanna die. Sometimes wish id never been born at all’ 🙃👍 thank you and i love your writing and ur fics are always comforting x

Why do i get this life?

*Authors note~ feeling slightly angsty here so I thought I'd smash this one out while I'm in that mindset I’m glad you all and my anon here are enjoying my fics I’m enjoying writing them*

Trigger warnings~ hints at depression and anxiety with past trauma

Prompt~ see ask^^^

Music, art and writing holds a power unlike no other. The ability to touch a soul with mer words or pictures, and to wield that power is a gift like no other. For you it was music, the lyrics often held a deeper meaning for you loved trying to puzzle it together. The lyrics from an old classic stuck with you the most, "mama I don't wanna die sometimes wish I'd never been born at all" could often be misinterpreted as depression or suicidal thoughts. But truly that couldn't be further from the truth. You related to these lyrics in a way you never wanted to.

Your life before the attending the school had been nothing short of horrid. And that was polite for what you went through. Leonora felt protective of you, you knew that from the moment she stopped you from sparring with Hester the moment you got a tiny burn compared to students she'd allowed come to mer inches of passing out from pain. The feeling of safety you felt with her was like nothing you'd ever experienced before so you found yourself opening up more and more to her.

You showed her your book that contained pages and pages of lyrics that you would look into and the ideas of hidden meanings would be neatly annotated in colour coordinated as well. You allowed her ask any questions that she may have. And she picked the very specific lines that just happened to be your favourite ones. With a small sigh you knew you'd should explain just why those lyrics had page after page dedicated to it.

The lyrics were truly about not being able to be yourself. And if you could've been yourself then what would your life had been? Would you have been happier then? What if the life you lived had just been one horrible bad dream? For you life had been cruel and that was just a fact. It started in your early years, parents who had accidentally conceived you and when you were born no longer wanted you. Perhaps you weren't enough, or maybe you just happened to be the worst thing to ever happen to them. Whatever the reason, it made growing up in such an environment the normal for you. Love was not something in your parents home or even in your life.

Lesso was no stranger to feeling unloved and truly she wished that was where all the abuse ended for you but that would be too easy. At the ripe age of 10 was the first time you were assaulted, not only were you in emotional and mental pain but now you had physical pain to join it. True pain can come in many forms but for someone who knows no different it just feels normal.

Since arriving at the school, you had been exposed to feelings and actions that were most unusual and unexpected. It made things all the more confusing and harder to accept. And you always came straight to Lesso, she would comfort and reassure you offering you the love and attention you truly deserved. Single handedly and unknowingly this women was healing your inner child.

Today was a bad day for you, plagued with memories of the past, and you had found yourself seeking the comfort of the Dean. Comfort she was more than happy to provide you with. Sometimes you would sit in silence, other times she would whisper words of love and care even offering some advice here and there. Less commonly you would rant away about anything bothering you. Today you decided to rant and she listened to everything you said so intently it made you feel seen and heard.

"Nora, why do I get given this life? What if I had a life where I was able to be me and happy? Would I feel love and be able to accept it more easily? You care for me and I truly do not understand why. Nora why is it so hard to be truly me?" You sobbed at the admission. Truly you just wanted to be you and for everyone to be okay with it. To be loved as who you are not who they wanted you to be. To be wanted and desired yet life never seemed to offer you that until you met her. It was platonic, that much was obvious, the love and care she gave very much like a mothers love. Yet she wasn't your mother, unfortunately so. Most people saw her to be unkind and uncaring but here and now in her arms as you sobbed all you saw was a woman who understood just how it feels to be used and uncared for. Someone who would protect her students from the same types of pain.

She held you while you sobbed reassuring you that you were enough as you, you were worthy of love and care and life had been unusually cruel to you but she has you now. You were safe with her and you always would be. No more harm would come to you without going through her. When joining the school it was hard to think you were terrified of this woman when deep down she held such a sweet loving heart, just one that had been battered, bruised and broken too many times. Just like yours. With Leonora's help, maybe you could learn to love yourself. The true you that lay buried deep behind your walls and scars.

Word count~ 1006

#fanfic #lady lesso #anon answered #sfgae #leonora lesso #lady lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso #lesso x reader #lady lesso x you #leonora lesso x reader #dean of evil

[justme-and-myobsession]

Wash away the pain of yesterday.

April hit hard, more than other years. A lot of grief, anger and sadness got triggered. Breathe, day by day, and I made it through, somehow. Yesterday, I slept in late. My body and soul needed to recover. I struggled but got up and headed out for a walk. The chirping birds, the warmth of the sun, the fact of being outside did me a lot of good. Met up with a friend, briefly and just one drink on the terrass. Broke out of my isolation. Babysteps.

Today, I cleaned my house, opening the windows. Out with the dust and the negativity. After a steaming hot shower, turned slowly to icecold, and after a hearty warm comforting meal, I started writing a new story. Judgement is there, around every corner from people who don’t know any better. People who offer their, I’m sure, well meant advice, or can't leave that little comment unspoken. They don't matter, they really don't but sometimes it hurts. It triggers. It opens wounds that I presumed were long ago healed.

I’ll do whatever makes me happy; writing, gaming, listening to music, reading, binge watching, colouring, … and honestly don’t give a shit anymore what anyone might think about it. Judge me all you want. I go to work, do what I must, some days easy, some days hard, some days blank. 

They don’t pay my bills. They don’t cook my food or clean my house or wash my clothes. They will have an opinion either way. 

But in the end, there’s only a few who truly understand what trauma, coping and healing is. And for those people, I’m more than grateful.

For the others: don’t judge what you don’t know. I don’t wish any of this, how I sometimes feel, not even a fraction of it, to my worst enemy. If you know what it’s like, you’ll understand.

#ramblings #my truth #how life sucks and is beautiful at the same time #breathe #day by day #don't let the basterds take you down #healing #pain

[judgementdaysunshine]

A voice that holds tragedy

Pairing: Test x Fem reader

Description: Test hears you singing under a bridge leading to the two of you writing music together and much more

The night was peaceful for Test as he sat on a bridge playing his guitar occasionally writing notes in a notebook he wanted for a song he was writing for his band The Corporation but he stopped hearing a voice nearby. He turns and looks around not seeing anyone until he listens hearing the voice under the bridge realizing that it was a woman singing and the song was nothing with lyrics quietly chuckling when he realizes that it was the theme for Halo but he couldn't help being entranced by how beautiful and soul touching the voice was as he slowly made his way down the side of the bridge after putting his guitar in it's case with the notebook wondering who the voice singing belonged to as the last few notes of halo sound so wonderfully before you started singing small parts of Deliver Us from Prince of Egypt not knowing test was a few feet behind you watching noticing how you would tap your fingers noticing him out of the corner of your eye turning to see him with his guitar case. "You play too?" you nod as the two of you fell into conversation exchanging contacts before leaving meeting up later that week walking around drinking coffee before you were at the studio where you both unknowingly recorded at smiling when he agrees to play his guitar for background music on your album suddenly coming up with an idea after listening to the recording "What if we did a song together on your album?" he smiles immediately spending the next few days writing before going back to the studio a week later recording the song you both ended up calling How to carry on smiling with tears brimming in your eyes listening to the final version feeling emotions you held in pour out uncontrollably going outside to take a breath "What was it about?" you look up at test taking a deep breath before slowly everything flooded out "Healing and living again...I spent so long being afraid of the world and numb after all the things that happened to me when I was younger and over these last few years and these past four months have made me more alive and peaceful about living than I have my whole life" he sits beside you slowly intertwining your hands together looking at him with only a small gap between the two of you feeling your heart skip a beat. "I'm proud of you for not giving up because I have you with me right now" the words made your heart swell before he closed the gap softly pressing his lips against your own smiling into the tender kiss as he wrapped his arms around you laughing happily when he gently lifts you in his arms bridal style walking to his place where the evening is spent writing more music together with gentle caresses, wrapped together in each other's arms, and sharing soft kisses enjoying take out and movies before falling asleep in his arms on the couch listening to his heartbeat as his hand intertwined in your own.

#wwe test #wwe x reader #wwe #test x reader

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Hi! Can I request Alois, our Ciel, real Ciel and Sebastian, with a s/o who makes music as a form of coping please? The music being similar to the likes of Ethel Cain, Flower Face, Nicole Dollanganger, especially in terms of themes. Thank you!

bwaaah thank u for giving me some new artists to listen to~

I have only listened to a couple songs, but I'm a sucker for dark music with pretty voices

I also had fun making up some lyrics for the S/O's songs, so I hope I did ok!! <3

Ooh. Haunting and gorgeous… one of his very favorite combinations! It’s not really his fault that he’s drawn to it all. He’s got his own issues to cope with, various traumas, and he can find comfort in the things his S/O writes about, like they find comfort in those things. Maybe the two of them aren’t exactly the same, but if he can curl up inside this music and feel not so alone, he thinks something about it must be helping them to heal, too. He’ll happily spend nights with his head on their chest, singing along quietly to the songs of theirs which most find their way to his mind in a constant loop. “Here in the garden, shall I stay? / Or will I grow wings so I can fly away? / There’s not a place / that could ever erase / the stains on my soul that have yet to fade to grey…”

Oh, dear, how very complicated his darling is. How did he never notice what a creative mind they hid behind that pretty face? That’s fine. He’s more than happy to give their music his full appreciation, now that he’s managed to hear some of it. He also has a penchant for looking at their first drafts and jotted-down ideas… he’s actually very good at picking out the parts that hit him in the most delightfully painful way. Then he’s happy to help them build the rest of the song around those focal points, if they’d have his company in this process. It’s certainly an exercise in imagination, sitting at the piano with them and feeding off their energy. It’s almost relaxing. “Knock, knock / do you know who’s there? / the dead don’t talk / but I don’t care / cold and pale / my lips still speak / I’ll tell the tale / I’ll show them what you did to me.”

… Quite disturbing, if you ask him. Quite. He doesn’t presume to know the full extent of whatever they’ve gone through, but his sweetheart is free to do as they please. If it helps them, then by all means, he isn’t going to demand they stop or try to hide it from him just because it isn’t something he would do. A part of him is interested in it; the things he’s been through are things he avoids thinking about at all. Dwelling on them long enough to write songs about his feelings in regard to his past would drive him insane. It’s different for them? Perhaps once those things are out of their head, it’s some kind of healing. If it works for his S/O, then more power to them. He doesn’t go near their process, nor does he try to write any himself. That said, he does catch himself singing under his breath occasionally, small parts of their songs which are a gentle balm to his heart. “But you’re in the corner crying / nobody knows your heart, do they? / And sometimes it feels like you’re dying / keep your head above water, water / maybe being baptized won’t feel like drowning one day.”

Ah, now… what a dark, beautiful little soul he has on his hands. He knew from the start that his beloved had a twisted and delicious energy, but he didn’t plumb the depths of it until he began to pay more attention to the things they write. They have been through the worst life has to offer, it seems, and he’s only appealing to his true demonic nature when that makes him all the more attracted to them. Although he keeps his composure around others, he shows a marked curiosity in their work whilst in private with them. They’ll show him as much as he wants to see, won’t they? He can pick out favorite pieces, and the ones which sound as if they hurt most will earn them a kiss from him. He wants to be close to their troubled heart — he does, however, very much want to make sure it doesn’t grow ever more troubled. Should it please them and be a comfort, he’ll even sing their music as he holds them in his arms. “Blacker than black / I cannot see through the dark / did I ever have a heart? / Oh, did I ever have a heart? / Was it taken from me / and you called it setting me free? / So come let me do the same for you / let me set you free, too.”

#trauma tw #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Alois #Astre #Ciel #Sebastian #reaction #romantic #drama #hurt/comfort #angst #how do I tag this one haha?? #anyway I had fun maybe I'll do more with some of these lyrics at some point uwu #one hell of a queue

[stariwrites]

Au where in jjk the reader is the one who eats Sukuna’s finger or sukuna gets transferred to her body and it’s basically just her doing experiments/annoying the fuck out of sukuna

Reader: Hey Sukuna, if I take an edible will you get high too?

Sukuna: I’m not even going to humor that stupidity with a response.

Reader: cool so we’ll find out in an hour.

Reader: *cleaning and listening to music that has insane mood shifts*

Sukuna: What the fuck are you listening to?

Reader: AH

Sukuna: What?!

Reader: Nothing I just forgot you’re…inside me *cringes* That’s a horrible way to say that.

Sukuna: Let me out.

Reader: Honestly I don’t think you want me to. It’s that time of the month again so unless you’re ready to feel the absolute agony that is period cramps I would stay in your domain.

Sukuna: You know I can just heal myself, right?

Reader: I don’t think that will work right now but if you wanna test fate, be my guest.

Reader: *existing*

Sukuna: I swear if you think of Slut Me Out one more time-

Sukuna: I swear I will rip your soul apart until you are nothing.

Reader: That’s not the only thing you could rip apart.

Sukuna:

Reader: 👀

Sukuna: I hate you.

#staritalks #stari’s ideas #cw period mention #cw drugs #cw weed

[miraakulous-cloud-district]

I was tagged by @bougainvillea-and-saltwater to do this amazingly cool tag game and share the "theme songs" of my fic, all instrumental!! You had such a wonderful idea with this tag game, dear 🥰🥰 **Edit, since this has been in the drafts, @shitty-drawer also tagged me💖💖 Thank you so much, and I actually tagged you in this game 🤣 You were faster than me in posting it.

I thought it was going to be easy, as I listen to a ton of instrumental music, because I also like to always have music in the background! But going off of vibes, this is how I associate music to my fic "Wherever you go, there you are":

"Miasma" by Ghost. This is Ravonna’s theme song. This one, I feel like, it encapsulates Mage!Ravonna perfectly. And that saxophone solo? Groovy! Just like her and her bard side. It also feels like a beautifully threatening song, in a way, and I think it fits her perfectly. The second song for her, because I simply cannot only choose one is "Faronell's Division" by John Playford. This one represents her sassyness as well as her impulsiveness, with all the changes in rhythm

For Miraak, I'm going with "Gnossienne No.5" by Erik Satie, because of the ✨️gentleness✨️ and this song heals the soul, and he's a healer, sooo yeah. The second one I choose for him is "A watering hole in the harbor" by Adam Skorupa; this is such a joyful song, and I feel like it really encapsulates the "I have no idea what y'all are doing, but I'm joining in and I'm so happy to be here" vibe that Miraak has once he gets more comfortable and lets go of the Miraak persona and embraces his true self <3

Now for the WYGTYA as a whole and general vibes:

I find myself listening to "Thunderbrew" by David Arkenstone a lot while writing, and since it has such a tavern-y vibe to it, this could be the theme for the fellowship whenever they are at a tavern having fun, drinking, eating and being in their natural habitat 🤣

"People of the land" by Jan Valta is the absolute perfect song for showing beautiful landscapes of both Morrowind and Skyrim, while also being the perfect song for Ravonna’s inner struggles to figure out whether she feels more at home in Skyrim, the land of her people, or in Morrowind, the land where she grew up. This is also the Civil War storyline theme, in my heart :')

"City of Sails" by Inon Zur is a theme that I don't know how to explain, without giving away spoilers :)))) It has ties to Ravonna's family, but will also represent the land of High Rock (yes, the story will go there too🤣) Also this one is one of those songs that I am kind of emotionally attached to, for some reason. I just wish I lived within this song, in a way.

And for the extra ocs:

For Endryn, I have "Tavern" by Jason Hayes, this one is pretty obvious, he is my beloved innkeeper dunmer oc who adopted Ravonna. He was very friendly, kind, stressed and quite funny, dad joke expert.

For Hjaldir, my other beloved oc, the nord bard that worked at the Inn where Ravonna grew up, because he is an ex-pirate, I'm going for "Moonlight Serenade" by Klaus Badelt. I don't associate him with the character Jack Sparrow all that much, but this song draws the perfect image of a charming and charismatic pirate, and the tune is incredibly melodious, so it really fits his bard persona well! Also, the intense part is perfect for his adventurous and danger-filled life. He's got many, many stories from his pirate days 😉

If you made it until here, I literally love you so much! Thank you for reading my ramblings. I could talk about songs and music all day!

I'm tagging my usual favourite mutuals @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @thelavenderelf @nerevar-quote-and-star Y'all already know you don't have to do this if you don't want to 💖💖 just ignore me and if I'm being annoying with the tag games, do let me know. This is not my intention at all! I will stop tagging you if you don't want to participate.

#skyrim #skyrim fanfiction #wygtya #wygtya stuff #miraak x ldb #miraak x dragonborn #oc: ravonna #miraak #oc: endryn #oc: hjaldir #Spotify

[katyspersonal]

I know it's morning where you are but on tumblr it's always sleepover time so now it's your turn, tell me about YOUR CRUSH (revenge time hehe)

It is also always sleepover time for me as long as I am sick and should stay in bed xd (I say as I have a work shift today :') )

Hoooo boy... The last time I had a crush it evolved into being full on in love (without return), so I am not even sure if that counts? But I was attracted to how deep and complex he was. How he spoke very honest, very direct and sinsere speech, without any manipulation, terminally online terms or American college buzz-words. How he loved books, art, music, poetry, nature, history, science, to learn about various religions across the world and time, and dabbed into spirituality- actually, it is easier to name what smartypants thing he did NOT love than what he loved dfhhdsg He also had very big range of emotions and a lot of painful, intimate experiences to share, and there was something incredibly human about how he'd speak about people, animals, his special interests, life in general. Though in retrospective, he fell for the trope of that misantropic villain / morally grey character that is being abnormally edgy about hating humans, thinking that only art/religion/both could save their souls, but loved and cherished every single animal xD I still think it is incredibly attractive, as frustrating as it can be to deal with it.

In general, life is not a poorly written fanfic, so normally when two broken people find each other, odds are, they'll not heal one another but only hurt each other more. Is this because they're trying to drag each other down into their Hell instead of reaching for the light together, or it is because they have different idea on what "healing" looks like so they try to "fix" each other by their own ruler, not thinking of this person's TRUE 'healed' state? Hell if I know. It is usually the latter. Most humans are just not capable of snapping out of their own idea of what 'healthy and good' is and to selflessly, genuinely invest into nurturing another person's real self. Reminds me of my early, abandoned idea on what the Doll deal was with G3hrman, or, heck, that official note from FMA creator that Tuck3r was unable to summon Nina's soul back all because he wanted the "idea" of that sweet, innocent daughter that once loved him, and not her true self in her entirety (that'd probably hate him for what he did anyways). We were never an exception. Hell, perhaps the guy was completely in the right to hate humans the way he does!

Alright djhdsfgh Listen, things like this sorta feelings is always something deeply tragic, emotional and complex for me, okay?? This is maybe why I always wreck my ships and can't imagine a happy cottagecore AU even at a gunpoint xd You are always in for a trip when you try talking to me about my crushes that aren't fictional! :')

#ask replies #personal #thank you for the ask! #there are too many things to look back at and think of #but at the same time it is nice to remember that i am just a human with human experiences that are complex #and can't be chalked down to some mediocre 'i just was wrong all along uwu' or 'I just made a mistake' stuff #most of the time such things are not bad or goor or wrong or right #they're just things and they just happen