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anime-rambles · 2 years

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Some Alpha you are, Pathetic

Pairing: Alpha!KiriBaku x Omega!Reader

Type: Angst, hurt, NSFW if you squint.

Word Count: 3100+

A/N: Wow people seem to be very excited for this fic, so I decided to bringing it out eariler than what I was planning. Thank you all so much for your support <3 I have a new taglist form follow the link below and it will bring you too it. Much love as always, Tiff <3

Summary: You and Bakugou knew one thing for certain, Kirishima was already in your clan. But with your heat approaching you belived it was time to say it outloud, little did you know Bakugou is a very jealous, insecure alpha and feels threatened...

Permanent Tag List: @jasmine2042003 @jazzylove @amypop122 @misssugarless @plutounderbridges @butterscotch-babie @backoftheletter @gojosslvt @himi-yuu @ebiharachan @black-rose-29

MHA Tag List: @hornehlittleweeblet2 @mystiqueewrites @belzeblitz @moonygeno413 @ace-the-side-character @unlogical-ella @moonseye @vaellee @corruptowlette @pasteldaze @24-7-multifandomsimp @yetoadet @ninetyeightrins @kirissluttypebble @elaineplayz @phantomalchemist @tigerd-draws @kunaigirlx44 @jujutaku @adventures-in-a-heartbeat @cmars59 @upinacloud @yourdragonsfire @uwiuwi @burningbluegalaxy @kirislilwhorewife @kuzusouda-and-terumaru-blog @kat-perdue @ebiharachan @lazyafgurl @bratty-fics @eraserheads-sleeping-bag

Extra tags: @lunamoonbby @sleepless-addict

TAGLIST

MASTERLIST

“Katsuki, please you're not listening to me” tears stream down your face as you try to get your alpha to understand, yes bringing this up was the best thing to do but also probably not the greatest of timing with your heat coming so soon.

“No, why should I listen to you, you want another alpha? I am listening y/n? Did I hear wrong?” he questioned you, staring deep into you

“Well i–”

“Well what ‘mega? Fucking speak!” He shouted at you, pumping anger pheromones into your room. You froze, trying not to flinch at his pheromones because you knew it would hurt him deeply if you were scared of him.

“You know what, no I'm not listening to this, I'm not good enough for you? Fine, i’ve a mission starting soon but I think I'll start it today. your next heat coming up? Spend it alone” with that Katsuki walked out the door, slamming it behind him. You cried and cried, you knew going after him would be a mistake so you didn't. You just stood in your grief. This was not how it was supposed to go. You simply asked Bakugou if he would be open to adding another alpha to your pack, bringing in Kirishima. The only thing yous dont do together is sex? So what would be the harm, you loved Kirishima and you know Bakugou loved him too if he would just admit it. Kirishima spent many a night in your nest with the two of you, scenting each other after hard missions. Your omega called out to him, and you knew Kirishima felt the same about you both.

Bakugou was right, your heat coming soon, and you were going to be alone for it. For the first time since you and Bakugou got together in UA, you were going to spend it alone and that terrified you. Your omega whined, and your chest felt tight. The tears still fell from your eyes and your lungs were screaming at you to take some deep breaths. You walked to your room slowly with your head down and crawled into your nest to hide from the world and let the beginnings of your heat take you. You prayed that this heat wouldn’t put you into a drop, but deep down you knew it would.

Kirishima knew something was wrong, he could feel it in his bones. The moment your morning text had not come in. There was only one thing to do today and that was to make his way to yours. Once he reached your apartment door, he knocked, and knocked and knocked. Knowing that if Bakugou was inside he would get an explosion to his face but he knew that Bakugou wasn’t here. He could smell his pheromones outside the door and there were two notable things about this, for one they were old and the second he was angry when he left. Kirishima pounded on the door again and there was no answer.

“y/n? Are you there?” he asked, and still no response. He placed his nose to the crack in the door frame and breathed in deeply, hoping to smell you. As Kirishima breathed in, he quickly pulled away and threw his hands to his nose. Something was wrong, something was really wrong. Kirishima would pay for the door later but right now, he needed to know you were okay.

Kirishima looked at the door to check where the best place would be to break it without completely shattering it. It was actually simply, punch the door handle and the door would still be intact. So he did so, the sour smell in the air hit him harder as he made his way into the apartment to where it smelled the strongest.

He called out and he got closer to the door, but still no answer. By the smell in the air he knew you and Bakugou had an argument. He knocked on the bedroom door and placed his ear to it, he could hear a shuffle from inside which at least told him you were alive.

“Y/n, I’m coming in.”

As Kirishima entered the room, his alpha called to him to protect you, to comfort you but he must hold off. He walked in and pumped smoothing pheromones into the air as a way to coax you out from hiding. Which worked, he could see your eyes poke out from the edge of the bed but you were still hidden beneath the blankets.

“Alpha”, you called out weakly. Kirishima sighed.

“Yes and no sweetheart, i am an alpha just not your alpha” He said and made his way to your side and sat on the ground, his head resting against the mattress near to where your head was poking out.

“No you are alpha, my alpha” you said, pulling your head out the covers and wiping your eyes to look at Kirishima. Kirishima’s heart broke and he pulled his hand up to your face to wipe away the tears. You purred into his hand and pulled his scent gland to your nose breathing him in, after a few minutes you pulled his gland to your neck and rubbed it a few times. Kirishima allowed you this comfort because he knew it would bring you back to him for a little moment. After a few moments of silence he spoke again.

“What happened y/n, where’s Bakugou, he would never of leave you this close to your heat?”

“Well he did, didn’t he, Eijrou.” Tears filled your eyes again and Kirishima quickly pulled you off the bed and into his arms. He places your head into his neck, forcing you to breathe in his pheromones to relax.

“Come on now little one, breathe for me” He patted your hair as you calmed down again. You could really feel your heat starting to take over with being in the presence of your alpha, well one of your alpha’s but you must talk with him first. You took a moment to place yourself into the real world for a second and realized you were licking Kirishima scent glands on his neck and purring to yourself. You pulled away and looked into his face.

“Sorry Eijirou” You giggled slightly to yourself and you looked as Kirishima's massive smile took over his face.

“There she is, there's my girl” you took a breath again, smiling as his comment to you.

“I messed up Eiji, i messed up big time”

“What do you mean you messed up, talk to me about what happened?” You looked up at him and took another breath, Kirishima pumped more pheromones into the air.

“Well Eijirou, you are basically already in a pack with us, we all but have sex, and i know my omega wants you and i know Katsuki alpha calls to yours and I know your alpha calls to us, I can tell that right now by the way you came to me, and how your holding me, comforting me -” You took a breath and started to rub your hands together, Kirishima placed a hand in your and stop you from being nervous. “I mentioned to Katsuki how would he feel if we added another alpha to our pack, and i don’t know what happened, he just started screaming at me and wouldn’t let me talk or even get the chance to say it was you, maybe because i’m close to my heat but he just went off the rail and said that i should spend this heat alone and that he had a mission coming up he was going to start after my heat but because i mentioned what i did, he starting it today, leaving me alone–” you started to cry again,

“--i’ve…..nev…er..done…th..is..alone…eiji..not..si..nce….ua” Kirishima turned you into his neck again, anger boiled in him and he suppressed a growl so as to not scare you. What was Bakugou thinking, they had spoken about it before. Bakguou had mentioned that Kirishima’s alpha made him want to submit to allow Kirishima to take control. So why would he have this reaction? He knew Bakugou wanted this but why he reacted the way he did, Kirishima knew one thing, he needed to find him and soon.

Once you had calmed down, Kirishima coaxed you into drinking some water as he placed back in your nest. Scenting lots of things around you so were happy while he left to find Bakugou. Not knowing how long you had until your heat would come into effect he looked around for your sex toys knowing that Bakugou had them as a in case of emergency setting where he couldn’t be there but Kirishima could help you, not to actually knot you but to use the knotting toys on you and to try and keep you grounded. Kirishima didn't know if you knew about them or not but thought it was best to leave them within your reach.

As Kirishima had broken the front door, he thought it was best to bar it up as best he could, to stop any wandering alpha from just randomly strolling into the apartment and taking advantage. He was also going to make Bakugou pay for leaving his omega in this situation and for forcing Kirishima to leave you in your condition. He was happy enough that you weren’t going to depression drop and made his way to your balcony and climbed down the fire escape.

It did not take that long to find Bakugou, he simply opened twitter and searched ‘Dynamite’ and looked to see where fans had spotted him. Apparently he was nearby and was not in a great mood today. Kirishima moved quickly to Bakugou’s last location and could hear small explosions of the type that Bakugou used to tell people to back off. As Kirishima made his way around the corner he could see people leaving Bakugou on his own. Kirishima passed them nodding at them and asked them to leave the area.

“Oi Bakugou” Kirishima shouted out. Bakgoug stopped and turned towards him with a smirk on his face.

“Hey Man, you here to help kick some butt, towns been pretty active today” Bakugou stopped.

As Kirishima quickly made his way to Bakugou he grabbed him by the neck and moved him off the street into an alleyway. Bakugou protested the entire time but not once did he use his explosions, Bakugou’s alpha already submitting to Kirishima’s scent and alpha. Kirishima pushed Bakugou up against the wall, and still held his throat. Bakugou struggled around Kirshima’s hold, slipping a few times and Kirishima was much taller than him.

“You care to explain to me, what the hell you did” Kirishima growled.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, it was just some small explosion at the reporters nothing that would hurt them.” Kirishima growled again, holding Bakugou tighter.

“NOT THAT” he yelled, pumping out more pheromones, trying to force submission out of Bakugou.

“Why are you so angry shitty hair” Bakugou strained

“I’m angry because you left OUR omega alone and close to her heat and close to a drop, some alpha you are, pathetic” Kirishima spat at Bakugou.

“She’s MINE, not YOURS and she was fine when I left” Bakugou tried to get out of Kirishima's grasp but it was no use, he lost the will to fight him as his alpha had already bowed.

“She’s not mine and she’s not yours, she ours, I was just giving you the time to catch up and realize that we all belong together but after the state you left her in today, I have to intervene because someone forgot what it means to be someone's alpha.” Kirishima growled again, and pushed her body up against Bakugou's.

“She doesn't want you man, she told me she wants a new alpha, hell she doesn't even want me anymore.” Bakugou looked away from Kirishima.

“You stupid alpha, you know it’s me she wants, you know its me you want also, so why? After we spoke about it so much about becoming a pack, would you think she’d not want you or not want me, huh?” Kirishima nudged Bakugou to look him in the eyes. He could feel Bakugou's remorse pour from him as he looked at Kirishima with tears in his eyes.

“I DON'T KNOW OKAY, my alpha panic and next thing i know i'm screaming at her and can't stop, some people are made to be alphas and in control, always knows what to do and can handle situations and omegas and alphas….-” Bakugou takes a breath, “- mine is not one of them, mine saw a future without the two of you and panicked he decided that i should get it over with now and push you both away.” Bakugou whispered the last part as tears started to flow from his eyes.

Kirishima released the grip on his neck slightly, and released pheromones into the air to sooth Bakugou, he could tell it was working as Bakguou no longer sobbed. Kirishima lent forward and licked bakugou's scent gland, causing the blonde to whine and hold onto Kirishima. Kirishima smiled to himself and began to suck on the same spot. As Bakugou struggled to stay standing, Kirishima held his throat again and pulled away to look into his eyes.

“You are mine, do you understand? I am your alpha and you will listen to me, do you understand” Kirishima used his alpha voice on the blonde in the hopes he would submit easily and he did. Bakugou bared his neck to Kirishima and purred to his Alpha to show submission. Kirishima lent forward again and sucked on his gland, letting his teeth graze it so carefully. Bakugou moaned again and tried to grind onto Kirishima's leg. Kirishima smirked to himself, happy at the level of submission Bakugou was giving.

“Listen carefully, you ever and I mean EVER leave our omega like that again, I will kill you, do you understand.” Kirishima used his alpha voice again and forced Bakugou to look at him.

“Yes alpha.”

“Good boy, you're being so obedient.” Kirishima smiled and let him go, letting Bakugou regain his strength. They stood in silence for a moment, and Bakugou began to release panic pheromones into the air.

“Kirishima we have to get back, y/n she… omg what have i done” Bakugou began to walk away but Kirishima pulled him back.

“Bro breathe, she’s okay the moment I was with her, before I came to find you, we’ll head back together okay.” Kirishima held his hand and began to make his way back to the apartment.

+++

Once they made it back, Bakugou made his way to the door but Kirishima stopped him. “What the hell man let’s go” Bakugou stopped and looked at the red head.

“We can use the door” Kirishima looked everywhere bar Bakugou's eyes.

“Shitty hair, why can't we use the door”

Kirishima fiddled with his hand before meeting Bakugou’s gaze. “I kinda broke your door and barricaded it so no one could get to y/n, so we have to use the fire escape” Kirishima ran his fingers through his hair. “You know what fine, i don't care right now”

Bakugou made his way to the fire escape and Kirishima followed. Once they reached his floor both alpha entered, Bakugou hesitated near the door or a moment, “It’s okay bro, take your time her omega needs to heal after what you said, so i’ll be here but i suggest we move to my place for her heat because 1, you don’t have a front door, 2, your rut will happen tomorrow if i'm not mistaken, which means mine is not far behind, so no hanky panky right now just comfort.” Kirishima said to Bakugou, who nodded in response and opened the door.

You moved around under your nest, poking your head out again to look at the intruder. Once your eyes met with Bakugou’s you began to cry and he was beside you in an instant.

“No, no, no, please omega dont cry, this is all my fault” Bakugou whispered and made his way into your nest, slowly uncovering your body.

“Stupid omega, stupid omega, bad omega,” was all you could say over and over again as you trashed around the place.

“No please, baby, please don't say that, you’re the greatest omega, the best ever. I’m the one in the wrong here, me not you, I’m the stupid alpha” he said and you stoped fighting him, your tears at stop and you just stared at him. Bakugou reached forward and pressed his hand to your forehead.

“Gosh baby, you’re so warm, heat’s on its way huh?” he asked, he tucked your hair away from your face.

“Alpha would not listen, said I had to do it alone” You started to tear up again, fear taking over. “Can’t do it alone, can’t be without mate, its’ too much” you said and started to cry again.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me” Bakugou used his fingers and made you look at him. “I would never make you go through this alone, i was always going to come back, i was a bad alpha okay, but i understand now and look who's here” Bakugou gestured towards the door that Kirishima was leaning up against. You turned your head and looked at Kirishima and smiled at him, then you looked at Bakugou who smiled at you.

“You mean it, we’re all going to be together.” You ask Bakugou.

“Yes, of course, it's how it's meant to be.” Bakugou lent forward and kissed your forehead. You squealed and pumped out as many happy pheromones as you could, both alpha’s smiled at each other and began to move around the room, collecting things.

“Hate to do this little one, but we need to move to mine, so collect things you’ll need to nest, don't worry about clothes I don’t think you’ll be wearing them.” Kirishima said and wink at the both of you. You quickly scrambled out of your nest, quickly kissing Bakugou and making your way towards Kirishima and kissing him. Bakugou growled quietly in the background unheared of by you but not Kirishima. You moved and collected things you definitely knew you would need ignoring both Alphas. Kirishima made his way to Bakugou who looked panicked. “I’m sorry, I'm sorry I don't know why I did that,” Bakugou said standing up.

“It’s okay, your alpha needs time to adjust to sharing, i’ll give him a few hours but after that it will involve punishment.” Kirishima pulled Bakugou up to him, giving him a kiss. Once he pulled away Bakugou was once again purring, Kirishima smirked to himself and looked up at you who was waiting patiently with a big bag in your hand full of things to nest with.

“You sure that all omega, don’t want anything more from this nest.” Kirishima asked. You looked at it and smiled, “Nope, it's time for a new chapter in our lives and a new nest alphas.”

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samaraannhan20 · 9 months

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Harry Styles Imagine: College AU!: The Final Show

A/N: Hey guys! this is my first time writing smut, so please be gentle with me. I’ve been working on this fic for a week now, and I’m excited to finally put it out in the world.

A/N 2: I guess when I copied and pasted the text from google docs my links for the outfits didn’t transfer, so I just went through and added them in, they should all be there now!

Warnings: 18+!!!, unprotected p in v (Wrap it up guys!), oral(fem! recieving), fem!reader, Collegestudent!reader, mentions of anxiety and depression

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

“One more show,” I quietly say, both to myself and Harry, as we stand in the bathroom after showering, getting ready to leave for the stadium. “One more show,” he echoes, both of us just staring into the mirror. “How are you feeling?” I ask him “Nervous,” is the first word out of his mouth, and he pauses for a second before continuing. “Happy, sad, excited. A little bit of everything. It’s been three years, and it’s crazy that it’s coming to an end. Love on Tour is ending.” “I feel all of those things too,” I admit quietly. “Not to the same level you do, but I feel them all. Life without Love on Tour is going to be weird. I mean, without this tour we wouldn’t be here. Together. We probably wouldn’t have even met. If it wasn’t for that concert that I managed to get pit tickets for, you never would have noticed me or met me,” I say, chuckling a little. “You know,” I say, beginning to laugh a little harder, “we really have a typical fanfiction romance story.” “Do we now?” he asks, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. “Yes. I mean, I read a lot of fanfiction when I was growing up. I was a fangirl. And how we met and our love story really is typical of fanfiction.” 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ November 19th, 2021 I walked into the Forum with my best friend at my side, both dressed-up and matching from head to toe, with feather boas around our necks. “I can’t believe we actually got pit tickets,” I say as we walk in, only a couple of other people being let in before us. “I know. I really thought that was a pipe dream,” Haylee responds, and I nod in agreement. We find our spot at the front of the pit, and plant ourselves there, not allowing ourselves to be pushed or shoved away from the spot. We spend the entire concert jumping up and down, and at random intervals I hold the poster I had made, that says “I skipped music theory to be here,” because I had left school early to drive out here today. One of the times I hold the sign up happens to be a time that Harry is standing in front of us, and he looks down and reads my poster, before smiling and shaking a finger at me. I watch as he mouths ‘shameful’ and then dances away. “Did you see that?” I shout as I turn to Haylee, and she looks to be in as much shock as I am, and just nods her head vigorously. We both turn back towards the stage, and just enjoy the rest of the concert as though nothing had happened. At the end of the concert, one of the security guards comes towards us, and I begin to get concerned that we did something wrong. “Hello ladies,” he says as he stands in front of us. “Um, hi,” I say quietly as I feel the panic attack begin to set in. “Are we in trouble?” Haylee asks, speaking up because she knew I wouldn’t. She’s the braver of the two of us. “No no no,” the guard says, shaking his head, and then continues. “Quite the opposite actually. Harry saw your sign,” he says, nodding his head towards me. “And he watched as the two of you enjoyed the concert, and he wanted me to come over and give you these passes, and invite you backstage,” he says, and hands us two VIP passes. “Wait what?” I say, vaguely sounding like Anna from Frozen. “Harry would like to meet you,” he says again, and then moves the barrier to let us through, and lets us follow him backstage. “What just happened,” I whisper to Haylee, grabbing her hand as we follow the security guard. “I have no idea,” she responds, and we walk in silence backstage. When we get back to the common area, Harry is standing there talking to some of his bandmates. I see him when he notices me, and he says something to the people he was talking to, and then he walks over to me and Haylee. “‘Ello ladies,” he says as he stops in front of us. “I’m Harry,” he says, and holds out his hand. “Hi,” I say softly. “I’m Y/N.” “And I’m Haylee,” Haylee says from next to me. “Nice to meet you both. Would you like to meet everyone else?” he asks, and we both nod our heads, and make the rounds to all the others as he introduces us to everyone. The more time we spent talking to other people, the more comfortable I got, and I could feel my body loosening and my body language becoming more welcoming. Haylee separates from me and Harry, going over to talk to some of the band members, and Harry gently touches my elbow to get my attention, and then nods over to the side, motioning for me to follow him. I do, and before I know it we’re standing in our own little corner talking to each other. “Did you really skip music theory to be here?” he asks, and I blush and tuck a spare hair behind my ear before looking up at him. “Yeah. We wanted to be at the front of the pit, so we left super early this morning and sat in line all day.” “I never knew I had such devoted fans,” he says with a small laugh, and I laugh right along with him. “Yeah right,” I say in response. “There were others who were out there before we were, and we thought we were super early.” “Wow. Well, I hope you didn’t miss anything important in any of your classes today,” he says, and I laugh. “The classes I didn’t miss anything important, but I did miss rehearsals today, so that might be a little hard to catch up on,” I say, smiling as I look at him, and then I frown when I see a small frown cross his face. “Well I hope it’s not that hard to catch up. What kind of rehearsal?” he asks, and then we spend the next hour standing alone and talking about different things, not noticing what is going on around us. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “I’m glad you skipped class that day,” he says, placing a kiss on my neck, and snapping me back to reality and out of memory lane. “Me too,” I whisper, and then turn in his arms so that I’m facing him. “Last show.” “Last show,” he repeats, and then leans in to kiss me. When he pulls away he has a cheeky smile on his face. “And then two weeks in Italy before heading back to the States to make sure you’re back in time for classes,” he says, raising his eyebrows up and down in a teasing manner. “You’re cheeky,” I say before leaning in and kissing him again. “I can’t believe you’re moving to America for a year just for me.” “It’s true love baby love,” he says, leaning in and pressing his forehead against mine. “True love,” I whisper, and then peck his lips one more time before pulling away. “C’mon. I need to gather my outfit for the show before we leave.” “No you don’t,” he says, and I stop in the bathroom doorway and turn back to him. “Yes I do. I’m not going to the final show in this,” I say, and motion to my bike shorts and oversized Pleasing sweatshirt that I had stolen from him. “I know that. I had Lambert pull together something for you. I wanted us to match for the last show,” he says, and I run the short distance to him, jumping on him. He catches me easily, and laughs as I start to kiss all over his face and neck. “No love bites,” he says with a laugh as I focus on one specific spot. “I still have one more show.” “Did you really have Lambert pull something together for me H?” I ask as I pull away. “Of course I did. This night is just as much for you as it is for me.” I shake my head as he puts my feet back on the floor. “No it’s not. I don’t perform or do anything. You do it all.” “Maybe so, but there wouldn’t be a Harry’s House yet without you. Over half of those songs were written and produced after you came into my life. It’s amazing we were able to get the album out when we did,” he says, and pulls me in for a kiss. “I love you. I wouldn’t have made it through this tour without you. This night is just as much yours as it is mine.” I kiss him again, before turning to leave the room. “I love you. We really do need to go though,” I say looking over my shoulder at him. He laughs and follows me out of the bathroom. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “Okay Lambert,” I say as I stand in Harry’s dressing room. He’s been kicked out for the time being so that my outfit is a surprise for him. “Get me in this outfit. Also it better be comfortable because the concert is over 2 hours tonight,” I say smiling at him. Harry had already changed, but not let me see him. I had been led into the dressing room with a blindfold on, giving Harry the chance to kiss me before he left so that my outfit was a surprise for him. “You got it girlie,” he says with a laugh, and then grabs the garment bag off the rack behind him. “Prepare to be amazed. Also, keep in mind you don’t know what Harry’s outfit looks like yet, so this might not make sense but it will.” After he says that he unzips the bag and drops it on the ground, holding out the outfit for you. “Lambert…” I say trailing off, shocked at how beautiful this outfit is. “I know. It's beautiful. And just wait until you see Harry’s. You guys will look amazing together,” he says, pulling me into a hug. “And, Harry told me you would refuse to wear heels, so, even though I picked out a pair of heels for you, he got these for you,” he says as he bends down and grabs a box of shoes from under the clothing rack and opens them. “MY OWN PAIR OF SATELLITE STOMPERS!” I yell, super excited, jumping up and down. “Yep. Everyone got a pair for this last show, but Harry had something special embroidered on yours,” he says as he holds them out for me. I grab them and inspect them, fawning over the Love On Tour logo on one side, and then I tear up as I read the embroidered message. “My Satellite,” I whisper as I read the message. I hear Lambert sniffle and look up to see him tearing up. “Why are you crying?” I ask him through my own tears. “Because I am one of the people who got to watch the two of you fall in love. I got to watch him text you everyday, starting from the first meeting, through random concerts you were flown out for, the trips he would make just to see you when you both felt it was too early in your relationship for you to join him on your yet, until you joined us this summer because you both agreed it was past time. I’ve watched you watch his concerts and I see the love you have in your eyes for him. The two of you were meant to come together,” he says, and I walk to him and give him a big hug. “Thank you Lamby,” I say, and then pull away and wipe my tears off. “Okay, I’m going to go change. You go get H and tell him he can come and wait on the couch.” I turn and head into the bathroom that’s in the dressing room, and quickly change. I smooth out my hair and wipe the small run of mascara off, before opening the door and stepping out. When I step out Harry is sitting on the couch, and he stands up and walks over to me. “Wow, Darling you look amazing. Lambert did a good job,” he says, and as he says that I take in what he’s wearing. “Lambert did an amazing job of making us match,” I say as I walk closer to Harry and press my lips to his own. “Thank you for the shoes. And the extra special message I whisper, looking up at him through my eyelashes. “They’re going to become my new comfort shoes. I’ll wear them everyday,” I say, and he kisses me. When he pulls away he smiles and says “Did you notice I got yours as platforms?” “Yes I did. And I greatly appreciate it. You know I’m crazy about platforms because they make me taller,” I say with a huge smile, and he leans in and kisses me again. We have some time to spare so we go and sit on the couch together. “How are you feeling?” I ask as I curl into his side after he takes his vest off and sets it aside. “Nervous. Sad. I’m ready for it to be over, but I’m also sad it’s ending. But excited because we’re staying here in Italy for a few weeks and we get to spend unbothered time together,” he says, and I can tell from the sound of his voice that he’s really feeling all of these emotions. “I’m really nervous to play that song for them at the end.” “All these emotions are valid. But I know that no matter what your fans are thankful for the time they got from you. You gave them three years of your life. A new album in the middle of that. They love seeing you, but they know you need a break to stay healthy. And they’ll be here waiting when you come back. No matter how long it is,” I tell him, rubbing his back as I say it. “What if they forget about me?” he says very quietly, and I gently grab his face in my hands. “Harry Edward Styles. Never in a million years will those fans ever forget about you. You saved so many of them. When I was just a fan, you saved me. And you saved me again when you brought me backstage that night and gave me your number before I left. Those people love you. I love you. Your mum loves you. Everyone who works with you loves you. No one will ever forget you,” I tell him, and as I finish he pulls me into him and crashes his lips onto mine. When we pull away we’re both breathless, and we both need a minute to calm down. I stand and cross to the bathroom to fix my lipstick and grab a wipe to get the lipstick off of H. As I sit down and start to wipe his lips off, there’s a knock on the door and Jeff comes in, followed by Glenne and Anne. “Oh. Sorry,” Jeff says with a laugh as he sees me wiping Harry’s face, and Harry and I both laugh in return. “No worries,” Harry says when I move the wipe away from his mouth. “A minute earlier there might have been worries, but you’re just in time,” he continues, and I quickly get up to throw away the makeup wipe and try to hide my blushing face. “Harry, don’t embarrass Y/N,” Anne says with a smile on her face, and I mouth thank you to her from where I stand. “It’s not as if we all didn’t already know what was going on in here before we walked in,” Jeff says, and I laugh when Glenne gently smacks him on the chest. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop now,” he says with a laugh, and everyone sort of chuckles in response. I cross back over to Harry and he wraps his arm around my shoulder and places a kiss on my forehead. “Sorry love. Are you okay?” he whispers to me when he pulls away, and I just give a small smile and nod my head, before laying my head on his shoulder. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “My family are here tonight, my friends are here tonight. My girlfriend is here tonight. Thank you for my family,” Harry says, continuing his final speech, and I watch as he starts to tear up, before pausing to collect himself. “I was doing so well!” he exclaims, trying to make the situation less serious. “Thank you for the support. Thank you for loving me the way that you have. My friends are here tonight. Thank you for having my back, always. I love you all so much. My girlfriend is here tonight. I wouldn’t be here tonight, finishing the tour on this date if it wasn’t for her,” he says, and pauses as he searches the area his mother is standing in looking specifically for me. When he finds me he zeroes in, his gaze falling solely on me. “I love you,” he says, with tears in his eyes. “I have a lot of things to feel incredibly lucky for in life but I feel the luckiest with my friends’ support. It allows me to do this. I am so full right now. I’ve never been happier in my entire life,” he says, pulling the microphone away from his mouth and mouthing “I love you” to me one more time, before turning to the band and starting to talk to him. I walk to Anne and stand right beside her as he continues his speech. We stand there holding each other as he talks to the audience. “Thank you,” she says to me, voice barely to where I can hear her, and I turn my head to look at her with a questioning look on my face. “For what?” I ask, and she just smiles and shakes her head. “You don’t see it, but everyone else does. You’ve brought him back to life. Without you this tour would have ended a long time ago. Don’t get me wrong, he loves his job, but he probably would have ended this specific tour the first time around, found the inspiration to finish and then release Harry’s House, and then organized a new tour. You gave him the ability to write while on tour, because you inspired him while he was on tour,” she says to me, and I tear up, and kiss her on the cheek. “Thank you Anne. But none of it would have happened without your support,” I say to her, and she tugs me to her and gives me a tight hug. When we pull away and turn back to Harry I can tell that he is starting to finish up his speech. “I see it- the love- in how it’s affected all the people around me, continue to affect people. It does not end with this tour, it doesn't end when this tour ends. Put some love into the world, it really needs it right now. I love you and I’ll miss you. You not only changed my life, you have made me the happiest. I’m so thrilled, I’m so happy. There’s lots of emotions tonight,it’s been a long time and I just wanna thank you very seriously for what this has been to me. You’ve changed my life,” he says, and then pauses for a second, and I watch as his eyes circle around the stadium, as he turns to the band one last time, and then turns back to the audience. “None of you are alone. Look around, look at how many people there are here. We’re all the same. I love you. Thank you so, so much.” As he finishes his speech, I tear up, and look around at all the people in the stadium and all those surrounding me. They may have changed his life. I may have changed his life. But he’s changed mine as well. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ As soon as I get backstage I go on the hunt for two things. One being water, and the other being Harry. As I get to the refreshments table I grab a water bottle and begin scouring the area with my eyes, looking for Harry. I see him just as I take a sip of water, and choke a little when I see that he has ditched the vest, never quite prepared for the image of him shirtless, even after two years together. I immediately begin walking over to him. He’s surrounded by the band, but when he sees me his smile gets bigger, and they all immediately turn to see what it is he’s looking at, and then cheer when they see it’s me. He pulls me in for a deep kiss as soon as I reach him, and for a minute the world is lost to us. I don’t register the hoops and hollers that are happening behind or around us, all I notice is him. When he pulls back he raises his hands up and starts jumping in the air, and everyone around him follows suit. As I jump up and down with him I can see Anne standing a few feet away, and I jump/hop my way over to her and pull her into the group. When Harry sees her he pulls her in for a hug, and then reaches out to pull me in too. The three of us stand there hugging and just lost in our own world. After we separate from our hug, someone starts playing music and Harry and I stand and just dance around, partying with everyone around. Eventually Harry pulls away and gets everyone’s attention. “You all did so amazing during this tour, and I am so thankful for each and everyone of you. But it’s late, and we’re all tired. So let’s go to our hotel rooms or wherever we're staying. I will see all of you at dinner at my house tomorrow night for our final family dinner!” he exclaims, and everyone cheers one last time. Before I know it the entire band and crew and anyone else who was back here partying with us has corralled everyone into one big group hug. Some people are crying, others are laughing. The people at the back are the first to break free, and as soon as we are finally released from the hug, Harry and I head towards his dressing room to gather our things and go home. “What a night,” I say as the door closes behind Harry and we’re alone for the first time in hours. I start to gather some belongings that we had strewn across the dressing room, and as I start to throw items in my tote bag, I hear a sniffle come from the door. “Harry?” I say as I drop what I had been holding and begin to walk towards him. He hasn’t moved, and is still facing the door, so when I step up to him I place my hand on his arm and turn him toward me. “Honey what’s wrong?” I ask once he’s facing me and I see the tears that are falling down his face. “It’s over,” he whispers, and I let a small “oh” escape my mouth, before pulling him into me. He buries his head in my neck, and I feel the tears start to fall off his face and onto my skin. I stand there holding him for a while, but after a few minutes the tears slow and he pulls himself away from me. “I’m okay. I just didn’t want to cry in front of all of them.” “H, it’s okay to be sad that the tour is over. It’s been your life for three years now. And everyone else is sad as well. I’m sad, and I haven’t even been here since the beginning,” I tell him, and gently lead him over to the couch. “You were only a few months late,” he mumbles, a small smile coming across his face. “Right, but either way it wasn’t the beginning. You’ve been doing this amazing thing for three years now. It’s okay, and it’s time for you to take a break. In all reality, you don’t have to be onstage to be doing amazing things. Your music does it for you,” I tell him, and I watch him close his eyes and nod in agreement and understanding. “Thank you,” he whispers, and before I can ask why he continues. “Don’t ask why, I can feel the look on your face. Thank you for being here. For being with me. Or always being there to talk me down. Just being there. Even when you weren’t physically here you were just a call away. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in this world,” he explains, and then leans forward and kisses me. “I love you,” I say when he pulls away, and he just leans back in and kisses me again. Our bodies are so in tune with each other that with each push and pull or move of our bodies or tongues it is a seamless connection. When we pull away we lean our foreheads together as we catch our breath. Harry leans in and attaches his lips to my neck, and I laugh a little as he moves his lips further down, getting closer to my chest with each move. “Harry, we can be home in twenty minutes and continue this if you’ll let me finish gathering up our stuff,” I say, laughing, and gently pushing him away. He places one last kiss on my collar bone and pulls back. “Okay, let’s go,” he says, standing up and holding his hand out for me, helping me stand so I can gather the rest of our belongings. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “Harry we have to get up to meet with the caterers,” I say as I try to get out of bed, but am quickly pulled back into bed with a vice grip around my waist as Harry holds on. We had both received a text from Anne and Gemma saying that they were going out for the morning, and that thought alone made Harry not want to let me out of the bed, knowing that we were alone in the house for some time. “We have like 3 hours before they will be here,” he mumbles into my shoulder, placing small kisses all over it. “Right but we both need to take a shower,” I say as I continue to try to pull away. “Okay, so 30 minutes to fool around in bed, an hour to shower, 30 minutes to fool around in the shower, and we’ll still have an hour left to get dressed,” he says, flipping me over so that I’m laying on my back and starting to move his body down mine, lips trailing over my body as they move down. “I don’t have the heart to stop you,” I tell him, getting a little breathless as he gets closer to my core, and I feel his small breaths of laughter on my lower stomach. He continues down my body, and spreads my legs open, slipping between him. I shiver as he kisses the insides of my thighs, before he moves to where I really want him. He starts flick his tongue on and around my clit as he inserts a finger into me and starts to move it in and out, making a ‘come here’ motion when he is inside of me, hitting the perfect spot. I thread my fingers through his hair as he starts sucking on my clit, and slips two more fingers inside. He looks up at me through his eyelashes as he brings me closer and closer to the edge, and I see the smirk on his lips as he suddenly pulls away. He brings his body up over mine and brings his lips to mine as he pushes into me. A moan escapes both of our mouths as he begins to move in and out of me. “How are you doing baby?” he asks when he pulls away from my lips. “Amazing,” I moan out, and scratch my nails down his back. “Harder Harry,” I moan out, and he obliges. He starts to move in and out faster, and reaches a hand down to rub my clit. He keeps moving in and out of me at an excruciating pace, but it feels amazing and I do not ask him to stop. He takes his time, making sure that I get to my breaking point first, and then he follows after. After we both take a few moments to catch our breath, he moves his body down mine and starts to eat me out again. He works me up again, rubbing at my clit, and before long he has me hurtling over the edge again. He moves his body back up and lays down next to me, pulling me into him, and we lay there in silence for a few moments, catching our breath. Neither of us makes a move to pull away from the other, instead laying there together. After a few minutes Harry pulls himself away, before holding out his hand. Together we walk to the bathroom and get into the shower. As soon as the water is heated up, Harry is on his knees and eating me out again, cleaning the mix of our cum out of me. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “I tried to tell you that we weren’t going to have enough time,” I say to Harry as we both scramble to put clothes on after hearing the doorbell ring. “I didn’t hear you complaining,” he says, buttoning his pants and grabbing a shirt. “I’ll get the door,” he says, crossing over to me and pecking me on the lips as I straighten up after slipping underwear on. “I got it. Take your time,” he says and then heads out of the bedroom. I slip my pants and sports bra on, and walk back into our en-suite to apply mascara. I put the mascara on and brush out my hair, and then walk back into our room and grab the shirt I had laid out and slip it on. I stand in front of the mirror for a second and make sure that my outfit looks okay, and will be okay for the last family dinner with the Love on Tour family dinner. I then slip out of the room, and walk down the hall towards the kitchen. As I near the kitchen I can hear Harry talking to the caterer that he had let in. “I think setting up the buffet right here would be best, and then people will just be standing and eating or sitting and eating wherever they decide. We weren’t planning on pushing any tables together or anything. It’s essentially one big house party before we all go our separate ways for some time,” he tells the caterer, and as I step in and walk next to him the caterer nods in understanding. “I will bring my team back in a few hours with all the food you ‘ave requested,” the caterer responds as Harry leads him to the front door to let him out. “Sounds great, thank you so much Tomas,” Harry says, and then waves as he walks out the door, shutting it after the man has made it out. “See,” he says, turning to me with one of his trademark smiles. “I told you everything would be okay.” 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “Hi, welcome,” I say as Lloyd and some of the other photographers come in the front door. They all stop and give me a small hug as I say “the food is in the kitchen to the right, and everyone is spread all over the room.” I close the door as they all walk in the direction of the kitchen, and turn and look over the house. From this spot I can see Harry and Pauli dancing around. I can see Sarah and Mitch holding the baby and giving him little pinches of safe food every now and then while they talk to Anne. I can see Jeff and Glenne talking to Lorryn and some of the other band members. I go through the kitchen and grab a little food and then cross the room to sit with Anne. I grab the glass of wine I had left there when I went to answer the door and take a sip. When I place the wine glass down again, Anne wraps her arm around me and I lean into her. “How’re you doing sweet girl?” she says when there’s a lull in the conversation. I watch as Sarah and Mitch take the baby and walk over to where the other band members are, and I can tell it’s their way of giving me and Anne some privacy. I set my plate down in front of me before answering her. “I’m… okay,” I respond. “It’s been the best summer of my life, and it’s not fully over yet, but it feels like it is. Especially since I’ve made so many friends traveling with H, and now I know it will be a long time before I see them again,” I explain, and I can see the understanding across her features. “I can understand that,” she says, and then leans down and kisses me on the forehead. “How long until the two of you head back to the states?” “I thought he told you everything,” I say with a laugh, and she laughs with me. “We’re heading back on the 12th. I’m one of the leaders for orientation and I have a meeting at school on the 18th, but we discussed it and we both wanted some time to settle back into the house. Well,” I say pausing to let out a small laugh. “I guess we wanted time to move in and settle. He sold the LA house, which you knew, and the movers are moving everything into the new house, which is closer to my school and has a private beach attached to it. We had everything, both his and mine, moved into a storage unit. The only clothes I currently have access to are the ones I packed for this trip,” I say with a small laugh. “I’m not positive what we’re doing with the very little furniture and other things that I have, but we have to figure something out.” “Would you like for me to come out around that time to help you guys figure it out?” she asks me, and I immediately wrap both my arms around her. “I would love nothing more. And I know Harry will feel the same. He misses his mom.” She smiles in response and squeezes my sides before pulling away. “I miss my boy. It’s settled then. I’ll look at tickets the moment I get home tomorrow,” she says and I lean over and kiss her on the cheek before reaching out for my wine. I sit silent for a minute, sipping on my wine and thinking. “I feel bad,” I say when I speak up again, and Anne looks at me as though I’ve grown two heads. “Why on earth do you feel bad?” she asks me, reaching out and placing her hand on my arm, gently squeezing. “I’m taking Harry away from you. He’s moving to America for me,” I say, refusing to look in her eyes and instead staring into my wine glass. “Oh my sweet sweet girl,” she says, and gently reaches out and tips my chin up so I’m looking in her eyes. “You are not taking him away from me. He was getting close to moving there full time anyway. He sold the one LA house to find a new one, not to move home. He might not have admitted that, but we both knew it. It is in no way your fault. I would be upset if he was moving there and didn’t have anyone, but he has you. And you have shown me time and time again over the last two years, that you are the person for him,” she tells me and I smile. “Thank you. I’m gonna miss you when I’m back at school and don’t have as much time to see you.” “I always tell Harry that I’m only a phone call away, and that goes for you as well. I love you sweet girl,” she says, and I lean into her again, wrapping my arms tightly around her. “I love you Anne.” When we pull apart we sit there visiting for a while longer as I pick at some of the food I had on my plate and take a few small bites and finish my wine. I don’t notice Harry watching me pick at my food until he comes over carrying a plate of fruit and a glass of water. He comes over and gently takes the plate out of my hands, handing me the plate of fruit at the same time, and that is what brings my attention to him. I look up at him with a questioning look and he just smiles. While I’m looking at him I feel Anne get up, and Harry is quick to take her place on the couch. “Haz, I have a plate of food,” I tell him as he gets comfortable next to me. “But you didn’t want it,” he says simply, and I feel my facial expression morph into one of bewilderment. “How could you possibly have known that?” I ask him, not wanting to admit he was right. I had only grabbed the plate of food because everyone else had one, and I didn’t want to be the only one without food. I typically only eat one meal a day, with some snacks here or there, and I had eaten lunch so I wasn’t that hungry. “Because I know you. You sat here drinking your wine, and took maybe two bites of food. I don’t like that you only eat one meal a day, but I know it has to do with your depression and anxiety, and I know that being one of the hosts of a party is causing you some anxiety,” he explains as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and gently pulls me to lean on him. “However, I also know that you need to eat something. Fruit is a comfort food for you. So I grabbed some of your favorites and brought it over,” he finishes, and I tilt my head and lift it to meet his lips in a kiss. “You’re too good to me,” I whisper when I pull away, and he just smiles and shakes his head. “No, you’re too good for me,” he says, and then leans down and presses another kiss on my lips. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “Thanks for coming,” I hear Harry say from my spot laid out on the couch, as the last guests leave. Anne had gone to bed about an hour ago in her room here at the house. Gemma had also gone to the guest room she was staying in, which was right across from their mother’s room. Sarah and Mitch had left hours ago, heading back to the hotel to get the baby into bed at a semi-decent time. I close my eyes as Harry walks back into the room and Moon River, by Audrey Hepburn, comes over the speaker in the room. I quietly hum along with it until I feel a shadow fall over my head. “Come dance with me,” he says, gently playing with the necklace that is resting on my collar bones, one that he had given me a couple of months after our one year anniversary. I hum in agreement before allowing him to take my hand and pull me up. As soon as I’m standing he pulls me to him and we sway back and forth, slowly moving around the room. Another slow song comes on as we continue dancing, lost in our own little world. After a while I pull back and look at him. “Ready to rest now?” I quietly say, not meaning for the night, but meaning for a greater amount of time. He gives me a small smile and nods yes. We stop dancing and make our way over to the couch, and he sits down first, laying down on the couch. He spreads his legs so that I can slip my body between them, and I lay down with my head on his chest. He rubs his hands up and down my back as we sit there in silence, the only noise being the music that is playing through the speakers. “What are we going to do tomorrow?” he quietly asks after a few minutes. “Rent that boat you mentioned. Clean up from this party and get the house ready for the guests that are coming next week. Say goodbye to your mom for now,” I say, and then pause. “It doesn’t really matter what we do. What matters is that you get some well deserved and needed rest,” I say, and then place a gentle kiss on his chest. “What is this rest thing you speak of?” he says, and without looking at him I can hear the smile in his voice, and feel the chuckle rumble through his chest. “It’s something you deserve and need to enjoy,” I say, and then I stand up, holding my hand out for him. “Here, let me show you.”

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles x fem!reader

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sapphicseasapphire · 1 month

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Hi! I hope you don't mind me asking a question about your CAC AU no longer being LU. Will you be changing anything about the characters that have been compressed? Ex: Four being both Minish Cap, Four Swords, and Four Swords Adventures Link. I'd also like to know if anything else significant is changing with the story, but that's a pretty broad ask 😅

Actually, second question that's only sorta related and that you may have answered in the past but I don't remember (sorry if that's the case ;-;) is the FSA manga canon? Specifically Shadow Link being like, an actual character.

Looking forward to seeing more of our favorite cryptids, esp now that you have more creative freedom <3

Thank you for asking! I think I’m gonna keep the Links that I have, simply because I have so much already written for them and unmerging them would wreak havoc on my storylines. I JUST figured out Four, I don’t want to change them haha!

As far as story changes, I don’t think there’s much I can tell you because I haven’t really said a lot about what the actual story is. I have my little comics, but they’re honestly just little oneshots to explore the characters’ interactions. Salt and Sea, for example, my comic focused on Wind and Legend, isn’t necessarily canon and doesn’t take place within any specific plot. My Sky and Time comic is more plot-relevant but… Okay so I got a little impatient with that one. The Sky and Time comic is the God Reveal comic, and the God Reveal should take place in a story line that I’ve been calling “Grounded.” But this version happens outside of Grounded, for the sake of not spoiling it. But like… the interaction will be mostly the same. It’s hard to explain.

Some of the big arcs that I have planned are: I am Sky (which functions as a prologue to the Cryptid au), Grounded (which is my largest storyline BY FAR, containing the God Reveal, Ravio, Four Splits Reveal, and MUCH MORE), one that just the title of is a spoiler, but it contains the curse reveal (among other things. Shadow. Legend of the Godkiller. Exciting stuff, I think). Some more miscellaneous ideas that I have yet to give names to, nor organize. And then the au actually has an epilogue that’s centered around Time, which… has made me cry when I planned it. But. You know. Spoilers.

I don’t think I can properly express just how BIG this story is. I feel overwhelmed by it, sometimes. I can’t quite put it into words yet, but there will be fics at some point. More comics. And more lore dumps!

I actually have answered a question about the FSA manga and Shadow, but that was a long time ago and I don’t expect you to read through my millions of posts. But yes! Shadow is a real character in the Cryptid au! I’ve been pretty tight lipped about it since it’s kind of… later on in the story. I’m trying SO HARD not to spoil anything haha!

#the legend of zelda #chain as cryptids au #i answered question #sapphire rambles way too long #links meet au

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cows-wearing-my-sweater · 1 year

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celestial

word count: 1044 warnings: none notes: i was in the middle of writing a totally different fic but i suddenly got way more inspiration for this so i kinda had to do it LOL (p.s listen to mazzy star or slowdive while u read this)

“I thought I was so obvious about it,” you say with a laugh.

Matty shrugs. “Maybe I just couldn’t believe I deserve someone like you.”

You tap his shoe with yours, a simple sign of affection. It’s easy with him. It’s easy to say nothing and everything while you lie next to Matty on your rooftop in the dead of night. It’s that early summer sort of night, the type where the air smells sweet and cool, and the stars are brighter than you previously remembered. You wonder if the dot in the sky that seems to sparkle is Venus. A moment of comfortable quiet falls before you prod him further. “Someone like me?”

“Well, yeah.” Matty says this as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re just… you. It feels like I’m doing you a disservice when I try to find something I can compare you to. ‘Course I didn’t think someone like you was gonna be fucking in love with me. Not after I’ve acted like a twat so much,” he adds.

You hum thoughtfully at this. Your hand searches for his in the dark, and when you find it you link your pinky fingers together. You’ve always done this – the motion is second nature now. You like to imagine you can feel electric pulses running between the two bodies through such a small action, like you’re two parts bonding into a whole. “You’re not that much of a twat,” you tease him. “I’d still like you even if you were. You’re just too good.”

“You’re crazy,” Matty tells you affectionately.

“Says you.”

Matty doesn’t respond, but taps your foot. It means “I love you.”

You bring your focus back up to the stars and point out a constellation to Matty. You don’t really see the shapes they supposedly make, but you know they’re there regardless. “It always amazes me that these are the same stars that have always been watching us. It’s the same sky and moon too. They’re constants.” You say this more to yourself than to Matty, but he listens nonetheless. “So much has changed but it’s still the same universe. We’re still so small and it’s still so big.”

Matty studies you while you speak. Your eyes reflect like pools of the celestial sky; he could dive in them and be bathed in starlight. He could reach out and touch your skin and it would burn him, just as if he had touched a star. His fingers beg to trace your lips in an attempt to capture the sounds that escape them; it equates to hearing a beautiful orchestra for the very first time.

“You’re awfully quiet,” you point out. You had been speaking for quite awhile, completely uninterrupted. Usually Matty would have thrown in his own thoughts by now, but he’s still just watching you speak.

“Am I?” he asks with a frown.

You nod and slip your hand from his, raising it to poke his temple with your index finger. “What’s going on in there?”

Matty grins at you. He’s been waiting for this opportunity. “D’you really wanna know?”

“Yes, idiot, of course I do/”

A look of satisfaction appears upon Matty’s face. “I’ve been thinking about you and what you’re like and how I still get surprised that you’re in love with me the same way I am with you. And I’m in love with the way you love, [Y/N], you have so much affection for such beautiful things. You make me feel like a beautiful thing with your love.” You take note of the familiar glint in his eyes, the way he seems to emanate energy when he gets excited and can’t stop rambling. “There’s a natural sort of beauty about you and some days I’m not sure a world like this could have produced something so perfect. It’s like… you must have been sculpted from some celestial body that we haven’t discovered yet. If there were some kind of divine power, you’d be the reason I'd believe in it.”

You bring yourself closer to Matty and nestle yourself by his side, his arm wrapping around you. “I was right when I said you’re just too good.” You think hard on what to say next, turning Matty’s own words over in your head again and again. It’s more than difficult to be so effortlessly poetic in the moment the way Matty is. You tell him this. “I wish I could place you right inside my head so you would be able to see just how much you occupy my mind every single day. You’re everywhere I look and my love for you follows. It lives where I live.”

Matty leans into you further, turns his head to rest on yours. He needs to breathe you in. “You know when something just feels really right, like it’s where you’re supposed to be?” he asks. His voice is softer now, his lips closer to your ear.

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“This is one of those things. Being with you, I mean.”

“I could’ve told you that from day one,” you tease. “You were too busy thinking I couldn’t be in love with you.”

Matty gasps dramatically. “I cannot believe you’d speak to me like that after I poured my heart out to you.”

You pointedly ignore this. Tree branches up above you sprawl across the sky, reaching out into nothingness. Gentle breeze shakes them, leaves rattling in unison. The sound makes you tired, and Matty’s body warmth certainly doesn’t help. You stifle a yawn, but not without Matty noticing.

“You wanna go back inside, darling?”

You give a noncommittal shrug. Truthfully, you want to stay out here all night, watch the sky slowly turn to a rosy pink and hear the familiar bird calls; you want to watch things start anew. You’re just as content with the thought of a soft bed though, and, more importantly, Matty’s rhythmic breathing to lull you off to sleep.

The stars twinkle kindly down upon you and your lover. You hope that when you die you become a big ball of light. You hope that Matty joins you in that way, nothing but pure energy, withstanding time and space. You could be eternalized in this universe with him.

#who's gonna stargaze like this with me fr though #matty healy #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #fluff #naomi's writing !

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chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter · 2 months

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I'll love you better when I'm dead

(chapter 206 from Sanzu's POV)

(tragic MuSan drabble)

(link to ao3 in case some one preferes to read it there)

First of all...I'm sorry for this (not really but yes a lot at the same time, but I did this to myself too). An evil snail shared with me this AMAZING AND BRUTAL essay on Sanzu & katana-chan and reading the last pages about Mucho, this fic happened. So first of all...

GO, READ THE ESSAY NOW!

Summary: "We are both dying here today, captain."

[or why Sanzu looses his grip]

Warnings: Manga Spoilers. Major Character Death (chapter 206, duh). Hurt/No Comfort. Like for real, comfort has been slashed with a katana and is sinking in the bottom of the ocean.

The title is from "Love you better" because I listened in a loop for two days while reading the essay and writing this.

Oh, I played with Sanzu name (again, yes) but this time doing a full Jinx, ooopsie!

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

It’s been six months since the Kanto Incident. Six months of planning for this day, of imagining how he’s going to punish that damn traitor. Of pretending his whole body doesn’t ache at the idea of killing the only person that made him feel like he mattered.

Haruchiyo is good at that, at hiding his true feelings from the world, lying to himself as much as he needs as a way of achieving it. He’s good at rationalize the overwhelming whirlwind of emotions that threaten to flood his mind all the time. He’s used to repress the pain, keep his anxiety at bay, bury all of it next to the memories he can’t face without having the need to scream and break everything at his reach (including himself).

Six months that seem to crumble the second his captain’s eyes light up when he spots him outside the detention center.

The ride is dominated by silence, that only breaks with Muto’s simple questions about how he’s been doing during this time. Genuine concern plastered on the face he’s supposed to hate. Haruchiyo wants to laugh hysterically at this, the irony that even now the older boy is only worried about him. Instead, he just gives short answers, knowing the other won’t push his boundaries.

They are finally at the wharf and his resolve flatters for a moment, overwhelmed by a kindness that he forgot how warm it feels.

“I’ve been waiting for this day...”

Haruchiyo trails off, talking mostly to himself. His hands grip the hilt of the katana, steading his inner turmoil with the reminder of why he’s doing this. The tangible proof of his vow, of the promise that gives him purpose. Wielding it with years of practice, preparing himself to strike a fatal blow.

‘Is that it? Is that the only reason I’m doing this?’

He hesitates, consciously loosening his grip on one hand and landing a sloppy cut that buys him some precious seconds.

“You damned betrayer!”

‘Liar, you made me think I could trust you, made me feel safe, seen. How can you say you love me when you couldn’t tell your treason would rot everything we shared?’

“Sanzu...?”

Muto looks at him in shock, trying to stop the bleeding with his hand and falling on his knees. He’s the perfect image of bewilderment, like he can’t comprehend what is happening, why is happening.

“I’ve been fooling you all along.”

‘I’ve been fooling myself, pretending this never meant anything to me. Pretending you never meant anything to me.’

Haruchiyo keeps talking, winning some time in order to collect his thoughts, to understand his own feelings in order to let them go and fully put his heart on the second hit.

“Remember our conversation that day when we were playing shogi? I said it, right?”

‘Do you remember how you told me I also mattered? You made me yearn for more, you were the first person that taught me to be selfish, to listen to my own needs.’

It’s almost ironic, realizing killing Muto is a sick way of putting himself first. Realizing this is personal.

“Protecting the king is the priority. You betrayed Mikey, didn’t you?”

‘You betrayed me, didn’t you?’

He takes off his mask, the scars reminding him of his place, letting go the faint illusion it could ever be somewhere else. That it could be next to his captain. He can’t forget it again, can’t keep hiding his devotion behind his craving for affection.

A sadistic grin on his face. That’s the new mask he’s going to show to a world that will never be the same for him.

“Now it’s checkmate.”

This time the cut is fatal, slashing a lot more than flesh and bones and severing the ties between them.

‘We are both dying here today, captain.’

Somehow, Muto hears the words he never says. But his will be the only tears shed, no one else will mourn the Haruchiyo that knew genuine love.

Sanzu can’t allow himself to grieve. He can’t be weak again, these seconds that felt like ages will be the last entertaining the idea he could be more than a loyal knight to his beloved king.

He made a promise and Sanzu is willing to do anything in order to fulfill it. Even killing a part of himself forever. His weakness, the love that tempted him to break free of his sacred vow. In a twisted way, he can’t avoid thinking how fitting it feels burying it with his captain.

Haruchiyo is dead.

Only Sanzu prevails.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers spoilers #me writing🌻#tokyo revengers fic #drabble #kanto manji timeline #bonten timeline #hurt/no comfort #comfort is not here anymore #angst #sanzu angst #sanzu haruchiyo #muto yasuhiro #musan #tragic as fuck musan #but what's new #tr chapter 206 #katana-chan is here again #canon complicit

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rulanarinrush · 9 days

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Xanruko week day 1. prompt: despair. While I've sworn off putting my writing up on tumbIr due to its Al policy, I want to help support xanruko week, so I'll post days 1 and 3 here. The rest will be on my ao3, as some will contain content with mature topics.

fic below the cut. If you want to support me, here is the ao3 link where you can kudo and leave a comment. I'm much more active there so if you need to say something I'm more likely to see it.

here is the link to the xanruko week prompts. thank you to riza for hosting this event!

When she opens her eyes again, she knows what to do. The survival knife in the drawer, check. Composure? Check. Emotions?

Check. She’s seen them all dead before. It’s like he said— she’ll get used to it, eventually.

She has to.

She turns the corner in one swift movement, and–

“Augh!”

Déjà vu. There was something she forgot.

There’s a sort of bitter irony to this. Of course she forgot. After everything, five murder cases, twenty-three days, of course she just… forgot this. She jerks back, not from the collision, but from how overwhelming it is to feel him again. Skin on skin, bloodless, solid. No blade between them, his warmth and scent all too familiar.

Instinctively, she wants to hold him– and her heart rampages at the thought. She should smack him. Shake him down good. He betrayed her; he’s the start and end of her.

Happiness is, like all things with her, fleeting.

He’s wobbling on his feet. Oh right, he’s going to faint now, isn’t that how this goes?

Maybe if she could forgive Xander for making her care, she would apologize. But he is nothing if not utterly brilliant, and she is the fool that falls for it every time.

As Teruko loves to feel nothing at all, this transgression is unforgivable.

So as to not be cruel, she does not bother to ask about his wellbeing– she knows the answer. His first meeting with her will always start with pain and end in death. But no matter how hard she tries to act, unlike Xander and David, Teruko is not a good actor. The star of the show, but no one can really hate those that die after falling into her orbit.

She does not allow him to fall down this time. As he tips backwards, she reaches out to him— something she has always, always wanted to do.

Xander doesn’t let her linger on his unconscious face too long. His eye color switches from dusk to dawn, and it really is like a light turning on, except Xander always seems to have a bright facade to show her.

Out of all the actors in this show, Xander was the best one. Or maybe her rosy view was distorted by the optimism he instilled in her, the way he made her feel wanted. Like he knew all her secrets and she knew nothing at all.

“Um,” he mumbles. “Hello, Miss…”

Oh. She’s been staring.

Before her are two options. There’s the easy one and the hard one. If Teruko were a better person— if she were like a person at all, really, and not the concept of death and impermanence itself, she might have had it in her to try— because really, she’s not afraid to admit this now:

Teruko Tawaki really, really loved Xander Matthews.

And this is the lie: she is fine with him betraying her, because she knows she’ll survive in the end.

So she picks the only road she’s ever chosen— the same one. “Oh, sorry. I’ve been staring, haven’t I? It’s nice to meet you. Sorry for bumping into you earlier. My name is…”

Teruko Tawaki has always been the pessimist to his optimist, but she has to wonder: was it that he was always plotting to kill her? The note was the trigger, yes, handwriting that only he could have known, given that it had no effect on her or Min, but even so, nothing in his demeanor changed from the first night to the second.

It couldn’t be. That’s what she foolishly wants to believe, watching Xander introduce himself to his thorny classmates. She watches the flash of emotions, the real feelings, waits for those signs of trickery.

She wants to believe she’s doing the right thing.

She can’t.

“Ugh,” he grumbles, cheeks dusted peach pink. “They’re all so rude! What did we do to give them such a bad first impression?”

You’re kind. That’s it. You have a good soul and they want to step on it and crush it under their sin-stained heels.

But not before you crush me first.

“I don’t know,” Teruko lies. “But don’t worry. We should try to give them a chance, right?”

He smiles in return, grinning like the bright sun, and Teruko thinks of a glinting knife’s edge.

She doesn’t want to indulge. She doesn’t want to feel the pain of loss. Better to have never experienced than to have lost.

But she knows that is a road lost to her. He ruined her, and she, in turn, will ruin everyone and everything. And so when the scales must be tipped, and Teruko finally has a choice, she wants to be happy rather than be brave.

Because this is the truth: no matter how much good you try to fill in the world, her existence is that of evil. If evil is everything that goes against the happiness of others, if evil is everything that strips away the autonomy of others, then Teruko is evil itself. So if Xander wants to fill this world with good, his decision to try to kill her was natural— but he is a servant of platitudes, and she is the devil itself, so whether they like it or not, his defeat is inevitable. He never had a choice to begin with.

This may seem strange. In every story, “good” is destined to defeat “evil”, and Teruko has no objections to this. Maybe she should be mad; twenty years of long struggle rendered a waste, efforts mercilessly destroyed by the hero.

But love is oh so effective. God is dead and all the devil has left of her is her lookalike servant. In the short period of time she had with him, she let him in, and left clearly understanding: she was not meant for love. The effort was pointless to begin with. She is glad for it.

The rest of the killing game taught her this: it is ineffective to try not to feel. Feelings are inevitable. Care is inevitable. Every tragedy must repeat itself.

So as she watches him laugh and make jokes with the others, that wide grin, the happiness in his eye, all she can do is match his smile like a coward.

Teruko isn’t supposed to be this cruel. She’s supposed to at least attempt to save him. But as he pulls her into the infirmary, Teruko doesn’t want that. All she wants is to enjoy the little time he has left.

Once Eden leaves, she knows what’s coming. No matter how much she wishes for it, Teruko cannot stop time. But she can allow herself to feel. This is the one good thing Xander gave her.

He flushes when Teruko runs her fingers over his hand. “Miss Teruko?”

“You know we’re alone, right?” Then she looks him in the eye— he flinches. She doesn’t feel good about it. Teruko keeps this truth about him close, like the pain he gave her. “Why don’t you just whisper it to me now, while we’re alone?”

His throat bobs. She wants to kiss that unblemished skin. Teruko is glad and disheartened and oh so giddy for this moment. She is no closer to getting the truth she seeks, but she knows now, with absolute certainty— as it will ruin her to kill him, it would have completely destroyed him if he killed her. Maybe that’s why he foolishly walked towards death. The moment he struck her, he died.

“Sorry, Miss Teruko,” Xander tries foolishly. “I… want some time to think the plan over.”

He doesn’t try to weasel out of her grasp though. Teruko doesn’t let go. Xander lost some color when she challenged his intentions earlier, but he still looks happy to be with her. This could almost be romantic. “Miss Teruko, your hand…”

“You’re so impatient, Xander. What if I have something to say?”

He stumbles over his words like a schoolboy with a crush. “Is it… is it necessary to hold my hand while doing this?”

“Do you want me to let go?”

Xander’s face goes sanguine. “I… I had no idea you were such a tease, Miss Teruko!”

“Who says I’m joking?”

He squeaks as she brings her face closer to his. Xander is dizzyingly close, smelling faintly of the scent of soap and gunpowder. Care and violence. “You seem to get hurt a lot, Xander. This is the second time we’ve met in the infirmary. Take care of yourself, okay?”

However much this hurts him, it hurts Teruko more. Vulnerability has never come easy to Teruko. And she holds on, holds on to that flash of sorrow in his eye, that regret, and that flustered love.

She doesn’t even tell him the important thing: you are my friend. No matter what happens, that won’t change.

Time passes all too quickly. This is it. All good things must come and go, and this time, this is the path Teruko has chosen.

This is what despair is. Terror is realizing that you have made a mistake. Horror is realizing that you cannot undo that mistake.

Despair is choosing not to even attempt to find a way out of that mistake. Give in and love that outcome.

“Hey… Xander?”

“Yes, Miss Teruko?”

She swallows. There are a million things she could say.

I’msorryIloveyouForgivemeForgivemeIwishthingscouldbedifferentIwishIcouldhavesavedyouGoodnight,Xander.

So instead the genuinely happy girl says, “I’m glad I met you. Even if you don’t feel the same— even if you were only kind to me as a way to get me to let my guard down— I don’t regret it at all.”

Teruko doesn’t let herself observe his reaction, turning her back as his eye starts to widen with shock. The monitors are pitch black, comforting shades of darkness. This time, she’ll keep her back turned. Remember that golden happiness reflected in his eye. It’s okay, even if it isn’t. His feelings are real, and so are hers. She can trust that, if nothing else in the universe.

“So.” Teruko tries to put on a brave face, even if he won’t see it. Her stomach throbs. “What sort of plan did you have?”

link once again if you liked it

#xanruko #xanruko week #xander matthews #teruko tawaki #danganronpa despair time #drdt #r.rush fic archive

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ladytauria · 5 months

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10, 11, 16, 32??? 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

thank u leo!!! 💞

10. Ctrl+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

i searched both the WIPs i’ve been working on the last couple of days—one i’ve had for over a year and the other i’ve had for??? two days??? which has just rapidly unfolded in front of me—and! surprisingly blinks only showed up once?

anyway, this is from the second fic, which features jaytim + student/teacher roleplay:

Mr. Drake’s hand wraps loosely around his wrist; his hand cool. “Good job,” he praises, softly, and Jason blinks rapidly again, the praise making him feel pleasantly warm and tingly. He tugs Jason forward, guiding Jason over his lap, until his hips and belly are firmly settled over Mr. Drake’s thighs.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

just 3???? sigh… okay, i’ll try 😂

in no particular order!!

I Know What My Brother Is – @bi-bats -> Reverse Robins. DamiTim. This fic… Damian’s POV is gorgeous. The prose is so poetic, there are so many gut punching lines! Also everything abt the AU and the way the relationships are effected by it is just… yes. So much yes.

Mother Knows Best – @kieran-granola -> JayTim. I have read this… so many times. Little afraid to look in my history just to see how many xD Kink exploration is so much fun to read. Also, love when a fic awakens something in me 😂

and then… okay, i was talking about this one earlier and i adore it so, so:

American Beauty (American Psycho) – TimmyJaybjrd -> JayTim. Toxic relationship. Love, love, love it. It’s not the usual fic I seek out but I read it anyway, and omg. It’s so good. Controlling, dominant Tim and needy, eager to please Jason just hits the spot for me! Damian was also really good in this~

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

i don’t have an official count but more than 30! again it’s tempting to share more than asked but 😂

hmm

okay, let’s go with an urban fantasy one!! this one features dragon!tim/selkie!jason!

Dragons are possessive of their hordes. Tim isn’t as bad as some (who don’t even allow people to look, let alone touch), the instincts are still there. So, when they start dating, Jason decides to hide his coat.

It’s just a precaution, really. He doesn’t think Tim would trap him like that. Not really. But if Tim has decided Jason is his, what if he decides Jason’s coat is his too? After all, then Jason could never leave—and he definitely wouldn’t disobey or ignore when Tim tells him to do things, either. So. It’s just—better this way. Safer.

Tim notices when Jason switches from using his disguised coat to a real leather jacket, but he doesn’t say anything. Selkies are shy, and just as protective of their coats as dragons are of their horde.

However, as time passes, the coat stays hidden—except when Jason gives in to the call of the sea. He’s always let the ache grow as long as he can, though, before finally giving in. Months will pass, sometimes, before he finally goes. With his coat now separated from him constantly, though, the ache grows faster, until he’s going around once a month.

Tim is worried, but he has no idea how to bring it up without scaring Jason. He’s also maybe a little hurt, by this point, since Jason still doesn’t trust him—but, at the same time, access to a selkie’s coat gives you a lot more power over them than access to a dragon’s horde does!

This is where my brain likes to skim over the details, but there’s some angst, some hurt/comfort, maybe a minor disaster (perhaps someone finding the coat? 🤔), but one way or another, Jason & Tim end up having to actually have a conversation. I’m not exactly sure how that goes, either, only that my brain is pretty fixated on Jason’s coat ending up in the heart of Tim’s hoard for safe-keeping, and both of them getting the warm & fuzzies over it!

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

@kieran-granola ; @waffleinator-inator ; @bi-bats

dearly love all of their fics 🥰

[ get to know the fic writer! ]

#thank you again for asking!!!#tauriawritesfanfic #cheetahleopard2 #asks and answers #i could have listed both way more fics & writers 😂 but i decided to stick to directions this time

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the-disastrous-life-of-miki · 16 days

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[chapter 2] AMRD JJK acting & modeling agency au fanfic

read me! ⤷(f) - first name ⤷(l) - last name ⤷main ships: nanami x reader l other ships: toji x reader, gojo x reader, satosugu, mechamiwa, itafushi, chosoyuki

Chapter 2: Coffee Pod

where to read fic ao3 wattpad (link coming soon!)

(f) Gained her composure

“Yeah.. uhm..”

“Where’s-”

“Oh, did you get 707?”

“It’s a long running department system error. You have 202”

Oh great right in front of his office, and right in his line of sight. She already hated working in front of someone, because it felt like someone was hovering on her back, watching her every move.

“..Thank you Sir”

“Just doing my job, and don’t call me sir Nanami is fine” he said with a slight smile but he still didn’t look up from his screen

“I see..“

He typed a couple things on his laptop again before looking back up at her.

“(f) Right?”

“Yeah..”

“...How long have you worked here.. Nanami..?”

“About.. 3 years.. I’d say”

“Oh really.. I’ve been working here for about a year”

“But.. I’ve never seen you before..”

“I worked in HR that’s probably why”

“Oh.. I see”

The conversation was corporate and honestly extremely hard to carry out. How many times did she say “oh” again. Was that the 4th time.. Maybe 5th..? Yes he was trying but the air felt tense, what could she say to escape the conversation.

“Don’t you have to clock in now? You should do that now before the system marks you late” Nanami said, glancing up, but not meeting her gaze looking at the clock above the door behind her.

“..Uh yeah..”

Nanami looked back at his screen, and she was happy that she gave her such an obvious social cue to leave, making it not awkward for the both of them. Of course he’s probably dealt with these situations on a regular basis so he’s probably an expert at shooing annoying staff out of his office.

But he did it so casually, almost feeling, and sensing her anxiety.

She swiftly left the room going to her desk that was definitely way too close to his office for her liking.

After sitting down (f) was logging into the work pc and placing her waterbottle down on the desk before she felt a tap on her shoulder

“(f) you sure striked out” A tall figure said with long black hair partially up in a small bun, he said it jokingly and with a chuckle. He was probably referring to how her cubicle was right by Namai’s.

“Suguru?” (f) said while turning her chair around to face him. With Suguru taking one of the other cubicle chairs and sitting down, rolling to her.

“Yes?”

“Aren’t you in Marketing?”

“Now I’m in talent management”

(f) stopped for a second slightly stunned at Suguru’s decision to switch over to Talent Management. He seemed like the type of person who hated being bossed around, working around someone’s busy schedule.

When (f) first met Suguru he was easy going and easy to talk to, with many of (f)’s coworkers being a lot older than her it was nice having a friend around the same age as her. They occasionally had lunch together and mostly saw each other during work. A very polished work friendship.

They first bonded over making fun of their department boss. Even though he was in Marketing and she was in Client services the company organized things based on the following AMRD (Actor & Modelling Relations Department), AMDD (Actor & Modelling Development Department), and the AMHD (Acor & Modelling Health Department). Suguru and (f) were both in AMRD, since she worked in Client Services and he worked in Marketing.

With him now in Talent Management they’d be working more closely together, and she was excited about having someone she knows being now an important part of her work.

“Why do you seem so shocked? It’s just for this year.” Suguru said while (f) zoned back in after reflecting on how the two of them met.

“Surprisingly there’s a staff shortage in TM. I’m here temporarily.”

“I get paid a lot more too”

“Oh… Cool..”

“You seem down” Suguru said, and now (f) realized he was sitting on the chair backwards resting his arms on the back of the chair with both his legs around the spine of it.

“Just.. tired..”

“Did you meet the department manager yet?”

Suguru perked up and paused for a moment.

“Did that old geezer finally quit?”

“I think he just moved departments…”

“I didn’t even know we had a new manager-” Suguru was cut off by the sound of glass cracking towards the break room. He and (f) got up walking over to it to see two employees that (f) had never seen before.

One had pink messy hair, definitely breaking dress code with his bright red hoodie and froze at the sight of (f) and Suguru. While another, this time a slightly shorter girl with a short brown bob beside him.

“W-we swear it..”

“Cameras broken here so don’t sweat it” Suguru said nonchalantly to help ease the mood.

“We won’t tell anyone promise” Suguru added while nudging (f)’s shoulder

“Yuji If you didn’t put the largest setting it wouldn’t of overflowed and-” The girl was cut off before Yuji started speaking again.

“Well if you helped me instead of just standing there..”

The two bickered while Nobara grabbed the collar of Yuji’s hoodie before (f) and Suguru decided to actually do something.

“Hey it's no big deal..” Suguru could tell they were probably just 2 close friends bickering and squabbling but there was no need to be upset at a glass breaking. Especially not at Star Crossed they could afford a new one. In fact they could afford thousands of glass factories.

“Ohh the machine? The buttons are extremely finicky I honestly don’t know anyone used it without help on their first time” (f) realized the broken glass was because of them not using the machine properly. She did her best to reassure that they did nothing wrong.

“You really have to use some force to click the buttons and be really particular about how you put in the pod” (f) said before walking behind the door to grab a broom to sweep and dispose of the glass.

“Yeah… Are you guys new here? Suguru asked the pair

“We are! - New interns” Yuji responded

“And what's your name?” Suguru asked directed the girl

“Nobara Kugisaki!”

“What are you guys doing? Like as interns”

“Content creation!” Nobara said with Yuji energetically nodding. (f) was sweeping up the glass that fell in front of the two of them. (f) smiling a bit seeing how the both of them switched up both energetically to talk about their near jobs.

“Oh! Thank you so much.. I was gonna clean it up uh..”

“(f) (l)” (f) said with a smile to Yuji with both of them giving her space to sweep it up.

“And Suguru Geto” Suguru added.

Shortly after (f) taught them how to properly use the machine, explaining the quirks and tricks to make the thing actually work. Everyone working in the department had been begging for a new one but none of the higher ups, HR or anyone really cared or responded.

But nobody could say it tasted bad. Because it was definitely some good coffee. It was just the old machine.

Eventually Nobara and Yuji left their cubicles on the opposite side of the floor from (f), and Suguru had a cubicle that was a little bit further away from her. If she stood up she could see him in the distance.

(f)’s first mission of the day was to meet with a new model, ask them about all their goals, personal schedule, manager preferences and to set them up with someone in Talent Management.

Her client asked if they could meet in a cafe so (f) made it a point to reserve the cafe attached to the Star Crossed building. Today it was especially slow, and perfect too since while she didn’t know the name of her client, if they were super famous it could cause a lot of issues when meeting them.

Like a fan interrupting the interview, or paparazzi taking pictures of them meeting.

It was risks like this that prevented the company from normally letting CS (Client Services) take their clients out to places without the whole place being reserved. But with (f)’s ex manager dropping this on her so last minute that wasn’t possible right now.

She would just have to pray for the best.

–

Arriving at the cafe she waited at the table for this new mysterious celebrity to come. Well maybe they're not a celebrity, upcoming models and actors are normally the ones signing to Star Crossed to get big, so the chances she normally meets a celebrity are..

(f) was on her phone anxiously waiting for her new client not because she was nervous. Okay well maybe a bit nervous because she had no one to text so she was checking her weather app, scrolling through her gallery. Anything to make herself look busy. But why? She meets with clients on a regular - if anything daily basis. Why was she so… nervous?

And then he walked in. 6’3 with frosty white hair, big blue eyes…. Was that Satoru Gojo?

And suddenly she realized her gut feeling almost predicted this. That THE Satoru Gojo was her client. And she’d have to talk to him for the next.. Hour?

“Are you (f?)” Satoru said happily standing right before her.

“Yeah!..That's me..” (f) said awkwardly internally thinking to herself that what she just said was embarrassing, and that she wanted to roll over and die.

“Great!” Satoru said, sitting down calling a waiter over.

“..So what made you choose Star Crossed.. Over your current agency?” (f) asked finally feeling like she gained her composure before getting out her laptop opening a document to fill things out.

“Not flexible, communication is pretty bad too”

“I wanted to move to a agency where I would have more freedom, and flexibility”

“I see..” (f) said before typing some things on her laptop with the waiter coming over to their table.

“Hi.. what would you guys like?”

“Oh! Hey Junpei… The usual”

The waiter had black hair with side bangs and seemed extremely timid. Which anyone would deduce to that fact he's talking to Satoru Gojo, but that’s just how he always is.

“..Got it…”

“And you?”

“Whatever she's getting” Satoru said with a smile

(f) was caught off guard by his response but ignored it. This was work, a client interview, a client interview with Satoru Gojo at a cafe, Shes at a cafe alone with Satoru Gojo…

(f) let out a corporate, professional, and definitely not flirty chuckle at what Satoru said before looking back to the document with all the information she needed from him. And Junpei left to prepare the order.

“Anything you want to achieve with us?”

“Nah.. I plan on relaxing a bit”

“Old agency had a lot of restrictions with the time you can have off and projects but I hope to still work but.. Take it easy.”

“..Yeah I get that.. I wish I could take time off”

“What's your personal schedule”

“Wake up, Work out, Shower, Eat, if I have a shoot I go to the shoot, but if I have a show I get picked up, I get ready and do the show. If I’m free I’ll do anything really..”

“Like..?” (f) Asking to see if he had any hobbies, interests, anything really. And also to speed through this interview trying to hit as many birds with as few stones as possible.

“You know.. Uh..”

“Do.. You know what Digimon is”

(f) stopped typing for a second looking up, surprised at the mention of Digmon. It was unexpected for a man like him to like it. She was expecting the specification of his hobbies or stuff to be in his spare time to be something rich people do like golf, or like gambling…

“I do, I watched the show as a kid”

“I.. like watching that or playing the games.. Or trying dessert cafes”

“That's cool” (f) said trying to contain her laughter, Not because she didn’t like Digmon or anything or that it was stupid for someone like him to like it. It was just so unexpected. She expected anything but that. And the desserts..

“Any preferences for your manager?” (f) said while Junpei came back with their coffee placing it down with a smile and (f) returning it

“Someone patient for sure. Most of my managers complain I’m hard to deal with”

“Okay noted…” (f) typed, picturing it too. Most celebrities were extremely hard to deal with and she knew from experience. Like one of her clients Naoya Zenin. He was famous for all his teen roles as a young adult. The bad boy second lead. And now he’s in more action shows.

But Naoya was definitely nothing like his character, he wasn’t a badass with a soft spot. He was an ass. An asshole. Once he ordered (f) to get him coffee, when that is not her job or role. And he's smart enough to know better. Or how he yells at makeup artists and stylists. In other words he was unbearable.

(f) couldn’t picture Satoru like that.

They talked a little bit more and Satoru was a natural at small talk. He knew all the right things to say and when to say them, how to say them and the perfect moment to smile. He never missed a beat. It was satisfying to have such a smooth conversation with someone. Satoru was easygoing, humble…and attractive.

Something about those cerulean eyes, his white hair. He definitely was a model. And she understood exactly why. She was also starting to think about who sent Satoru off to. He didn’t really say much but was patient, but most of the Talent Management were patient. Hence why they even are Talent Management.

Satoru took a sip out of his coffee, almost finishing it while (f) was barely done. In fact the coffee was completely full. It was a good thing it was served in a disposable cup with a lid, so at least after this she could still save it.

“It was nice talking to you Satoru…”

“You too (f)” He said with a smile taking his last sips out of the coffee cup before leaving a generous tip at the table (20 dollars for Junpei) before getting up. (f) got her laptop and put it in her bag before getting up too.

(f) reached out her hand for a handshake and Satoru shook her hand. And they were soft. Baby skin is smooth and soft. It was taking everything in her to stay professional, stay calm, stay..

“Oh and can I have your number? I didn’t see it in the email” Satoru hummed

“Uh.. Yeah.. Of course” (f) tried to remember that this was for work, this was her client, and if anything happened she’d be sent and shipped to HR, not like he would be interested in someone like her. He was a celebrity. He was a model…

She typed in her number sending herself a Hi before walking out the door with him. When she saw someone about to enter the Cafe.

“(f)? What are you doing here…”

“Client interview.. Don’t you have access to that information”

“I didn’t see anything..” Nanami said looking to the side trying to recall if he checked her schedule. (Which he did a couple times, did he look stupid right now?)

“My old manager was bad at writing this stuff down, he probably didn’t put it in”

“..Yeah.. Probably”

“Mr. Gojo your driver is here”

“Oh hey.. It was nice meeting you (f)! We’ll be in touch” Satoru waved. A bodyguard collected Satoru and walked him out of the building while (f) was left with Nanami. (f) was a little bit sad he was leaving so soon.

“...How was it?” Nanami’s voice cut her thoughts off and she looked up at him. He said that a bit interrogatively.

“It was good, I’m thinking I set up Suguru with him”

“Oh yes, I saw him on the system he's in Talent Management because of the staff shortage right?”

“Yes, I think he’d be a good fit”

“Set that up whenever you’re able to connect with him..”

‘..I will.. Thanks Nanami..“ And there it is again the awkward feeling of trying to run out and escape a conversation. What excuse was she gonna use this tim-

“..I have something to take care of now.. If you need anything stop by my office or contact me” Nanami said, it was like he always knew what to say.

“Oh.. yeah..”

Nanami gave her a slight nod while putting his phone to his ear and heading back to his office. And the rest of the day (f) was spent considering Satoru’s manager and filling out all the documents, notes and anything the manager would find helpful. And to make his transition to a new agency smooth.

Oh and she still had her coffee from the Cafe. It was definitely more luxurious than the coffee machine in the break room. And expensive too. It’s good that it was on the Agency’s dime and not hers.

this chapter is defintly a lot longer than the first one, i hope you guys liked it! let me know what you think about it!!

luv miki!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

#fanfic #x reader #jujustu kaisen #nanami kento #toji fushiguro #geto suguru #gojo satoru #nanami x reader #jjk #office au #acting agency #model au #alternate universe #jjk kento #jjk gojo #jjk geto

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dayeongi · 1 year

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Hi, shikatema lovers here! ☺️

So I've been in my feeling lately and want to reminisce the feeling of all the good shikatema stories. Do you have any recommendation of shikatema's ff that is a lil bit angsty? Or any great shikatema stories that I really need to read for my mental health?

Thank you and I love your stories too!

Hi there!!!!!!!

This is all based on my history from AO3 and over 10 years of having a FF dot net account so some of these may not be to your taste, and some of them I read a long time ago, but what I can promise is they’re memorable. Blanket recommendations are very up-to-date and can definitely vouch for!

Some of this may be incomplete so please keep an eye out before you read if you’re only looking to read completed work!

Yeongi’s faves:

Truth or Dare (Astroboy) by ChlorineObsession

coffee shop soundtrack by viiisenya - “Goddamn it, Chouji, I thought the second-coming of Hagaromo walked in,” Shikamaru groaned, exasperated. (HILARIOUS)

The Levels On Which We Lie by pearlsong

Between Then and Now by Snooparty - such a fun concept!

The Theory of Effort & Will by SimpArmy

The Torn by ShatteredAwe (no words. But prepare thyself, I cried again just thinking about it.)

and I'll be good (if you can tell me how) - by lollipopmania - fake dating? Spies???? YES. You can’t miss this.

Rain in Konoha by OstaraNight

Bodyguard by ArmchairAnthropologist

Hotel Rooms by ArmchairAnthropologist

Intertwining Fate by glockcourage - Such an interesting AU that I need to re-read, very memorable

Secrets and Shadows by SillySnowden

There's a Head in the Forest by greenho4

Valerie Sabrina Verzoe - always interesting concepts and dynamics - AUs so different I didn’t realize all these fics were by the same person until I started putting this together. I haven’t read their other stuff though so be warned!

Limelight

Chains

A Dance of Wind and Fire

AUTHOR BLANKET RECOMMENDATION:

Here is a few of my favorite authors that have more than 3 shikatema works I’ve read and I’m obsessed with. I will link their profile as well as what I consider my favorite of their work.

Notquitejiraiya - @notquitejiraiya

My faves:

Love Means Nothing - “It’s your problem if you’re in the firing line. You’re on a tennis court; there are gonna be tennis balls.” - This line solidified the idea that I’d made the right choice of Meet Ugly for my fic, Setting Sun

CHESS - “Chess?” she muttered. “You come to a psychiatrists office and you want to play chess?” - made me chuckle

9/10 - Only one chapter but my god, what a chapter, and I’m not spoiling a single line of it!

Majsasaurus - @unioncolours

My faves:

Trial of the Heart - I wasn’t strong enough to finish this one yet, I still have it open on a tab.

no one cries for unknown soldiers - a masterpiece and one of my favorite fics ever

SpookyMoth - @thespookymoth

My faves:

Treasures - Just such a creative AU! I love it

Torn - PREPARE THYSELF I SAY

I Want You To Want Me - BAND AU!! HECK YEA! You can’t miss this. It’s part of a series

SpicedGold

P much anything by them! But my current favorite is When All Is Said And Done

Cinder_Rose - @cinder-rose22 - a person with very evil writer plans and the will to carry them out - very scary

My faves:

Of Sand and Shadow - “Those disgustingly arrogant eyes,(...) He had never hated anything more than those eyes.” - YOU CAN’T MISS THIS

The Ruins of Us - This one is the entire reason Asuma has a bookshop in Setting Sun. Originally he was going to have an antiques shop or a stationery shop.

Clumsydragon28 - @clumsydragon28

My fave:

The Meeting Place - I had never read poetry in the context of fanfiction before but I really think this was the perfect intro!

Sunaprincess7 - @sunaprincess7 - I’ve loved their stuff for more than a decade

My faves:

Anthem for a Doomed Youth - no words.

She dances for me - one of my all time favorites! I re-read it regularly. Inspired by Memoirs of a Geisha (which is a great story, but has some controversy, which I recommend reading up on. I suggest reading “Geisha of Gion” by Mineko Iwasaki)

The Woman - "To Shikamaru Nara she is always 'The' Woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex."

I’d love some recommendations myself so if you feel I’m missing some let me know!! And thank you for your kind words about my stories!

#thank you so much for asking!#shikatema #shikatema fanfiction #shikatema fanfic #shikatema fic #fanfic recommendation

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lucy-sky · 1 year

Text

Butterflies (The Mute x f!Reader)

Missionary Monday prompt: first times

A sequel to Moonlight Blossom - first sex with The Mute. That's it, that's the fic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Warnings: virginity loss, oral sex f. receiving, love confessions, probably a bit too cheesy :’)

Words: 1701

AO3 link if you prefer reading there

It’s incredible how just one kiss can change everything. It’s been a while since that night he kissed you, as you were lying in the grass under the moon and the stars, and it was the sweetest thing you’ve experienced in your quiet, lonely life.

You’re not the same since then.

It seems like nothing has changed at first. Both you and the Mute went about your casual routine, and yet… There’s some sort of longing growing inside of you. You can’t get that kiss out of your mind, can’t stop imagining his lips on yours again, the gentle scratch of his beard against your skin and the warmth of his tongue. Everytime you think of it, you feel like your stomach is filled with butterflies. The thoughts keep you up in the middle of the night, make you roam your hands down your body where you feel the fire rising, begging to be put down. You have to bite your lips hard so that he couldn’t hear you from behind the thin curtain that separates you in your little cabin.

You want him. A shocking realization, a feeling so unknown, and yet so natural, primal in a way. And you know, you just know from the way he looks at you, from the tenderness of his occasional touches, that the feeling of longing is mutual. But he doesn’t dare to make any advances. He respects you in the first place, so you know the next step has to be yours if you really want something to happen. If you want to finally set those butterflies free.

As you’re lying awake, you can hear him tossing and turning. He doesn’t sleep either. And suddenly you think you’ve had enough sleepless nights like that.

He glances at you in surprise as you approach his bed.

“I’m cold. Can I lay down next to you?”

It’s a lie, obviously so. Yes, you’re trembling, but for a different reason. Still you can’t spit it out just like that. Thankfully the Mute doesn’t hesitate to shift in his bed as he opens the blanket for you, silently inviting. You lay beside him, your back against his broad chest, shivering as he wraps his arms around you and nuzzles into your hair with a deep sigh. The warmth radiating from his body is seeping into your bones. It’s good, but not nearly enough. Your body’s aching for something you’ve never known before. Struggling to find a way to show it to him, you finally reach his large hand and slowly guide it to cover your breast. The man tenses as your nipple hardens under his palm. He seems frozen in place, so you turn to face him, and as you meet his dark gaze, you simply press your lips against his. He responds after a split second of hesitation, his hand moving to cradle the back of your head, a soft hum escaping him, as he feels your tongue against his own.

“I want you,” you breathe out as your lips part. “I uh… Make love to me… Please.”

He stares at you slightly baffled at this bold request, then cups your face, calloused fingers surprisingly gentle against your skin. You can read a silent question in those deep brown eyes of his.

“I know, I know you hesitate,” you mumble, reaching to caress his cheek as well. “But… Yes, I’m sure. I want to know what it feels like. I’ve heard things. Some say it’s painful, but I know it can be beautiful. When I touch myself it feels good. And when you kiss me it feels like… I’m closer to heaven. And… I just want to do it with you, of all men. I’ve never trusted anyone as much as I trust you. I know you’d never hurt me. With you I feel… I feel something I’ve never felt before. So… It has to be you. If-if you want me, of course…”

He looks at you for a painfully long moment before leaning in and capturing your lips once again. The kiss is deeper, hotter, there’s more eagerness and longing behind it, as he licks into your mouth, stealing your breath. You let out a quiet, barely heard moan as he moves to kiss along your jawline and further down the curve of your neck, his fingers carefully untying the laces on your night robe to get more access to your breast.

His lips press against your sternum at first, he takes his time, and your skin nearly burns from the heat of his kisses and the teasing scratch of his coarse beard. A sharp gasp falls from your lips as his mouth finds your nipple. He sucks at it gently, tongue flicking against the tip. The sensation makes you buck your hips against him as you thread your fingers through his thick hair. Your head is spinning, it’s almost overwhelming, you can barely stand the aching need deep within your core.

“Please…” you beg, having absolutely no idea what exactly you’re begging for.

But he knows. He clearly knows what he’s doing. He shushes you softly, kissing your lips again before urging you to sit up. He helps you to get rid of your robe, and his eyes darken at the sight of your naked body exposed in front of him. You watch him as he tugs his shirt off as well, his underwear follows. Your eyes roam shamelessly over his body, his firm chest, the dark curls on his lower belly, his… Well… His manly parts really look impressive, and as much as you want it, the heat of embarrassment starts creeping up your cheeks.

As if sensing your nervousness, his kisses are soft and gentle as he hovers over you. He looks right into your eyes as he licks his fingers, and you moan into the kiss as you feel him reaching down, probing between your folds. Your hips buck up once again when he finds that little sweet spot, a small bundle of nerves you discovered not that long ago while touching yourself. His fingers feel different though, and the way he kisses your neck while he circles this little bud makes your insides tingle as you cling to him, nails digging into his shoulders. He then gathers more of your slick before carefully, slowly pushing his fingers inside of you. Another new sensation, but it’s not unpleasant, you figure he’s preparing you like that. His lips never leave yours as he slowly moves his digits in and out of you. They brush against something that makes your toes curl, and you whine into his shoulder.

“Please…” you repeat once more, and he complies. He lets you lie comfortably on the bed before settling between your parted legs. He leans down, urging you to lift your legs a little more, and then you can feel it, the head of his cock nudging your entrance before he guides it all the way inside you. You wince at the strange burning sensation, gripping onto his shoulders and trying to relax as much as possible to let him in. He presses his forehead against yours and lets out a deep sigh once he’s fully seated, as if trying to calm himself down. You can feel his heart thumping inside his chest as he looks at you, pupils blown so wide that his eyes seem almost entirely black. You smile weakly, reaching to run your fingers through his messy hair. He doesn’t move yet, just leans to kiss the side of your neck, and it’s such a tender, intimate feeling to be so close to him, so connected. Getting used to this feeling of fullness, you experimentally move your hips, earning a low grunt from him. Taking your hint, he buries his face into your neck and starts trusting. It’s slow and careful at first, like everything he does tonight, but he soon picks up the pace. You love the sounds he makes - grunts and low moans, love the weight of his body and his sloppy kisses. It doesn’t take long until his breath falters. You feel him twitch between your tender walls, and the next moment he pulls out, stroking himself a couple times before the spurts of white liquid spill all over your belly. He looks at you, trying to regain his breath, the expression on his face slightly guilty, but you don’t get why.

“Hey…” you whisper, reaching for him and pulling him into a gentle kiss. “It was good. I liked it.”

He huffs against your lips, kissing you again, and once more, and then suddenly moves down your body, his head diving between your legs. Your confusion doesn’t last long. In fact, all your questions vanish the second his tongue slips between the sensitive folds. You writhe and gasp for air, fingers gripping the sheets and tangle in his hair. Something is building rapidly inside of you, and when he sucks on that little bundle of nerves, it all suddenly bursts with incredible power, making your body arch from such intense pleasure you’ve never felt before. When you close your eyes, you see millions of butterflies.

Your mind is still hazy with bliss when you feel him beside you again, enclosing you in his arms. You lazily open your eyes to meet his gaze. There’s a soft smile on his face as he gently pecks your lips.

“I love you,” you blurt out, without thinking. The second you say these words out loud, a shiver runs through you. You know you love him, you’ve known it for a while already, but you didn’t plan to say it just yet, until you weren’t sure if he feels the same way about you. Of course he has feelings for you, you have no doubt he does. But what if it’s just simple sympathy and gratitude? There are a lot of things that may look like love after all…

His thumb brushes tenderly against your cheekbone. His lips press against your forehead first, before he claims your mouth. And when he pulls back and his eyes find yours again, his lips part, and you hear his quiet raspy whisper:

“I… Love… You.”

*posts this at 3 am and runs away*

Thank you for reading!

#bernthirstpalooza #the mute x reader #pilgrimage #jon bernthal fanfiction #lucy tries to write #darlingshane

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rydenfanfiction · 1 year

Text

1006 Ryden Fics

Update: 1/24/23: After like 8 years I think I finally got this to work again!

Entire Rec List is below the cut!

Be aware that these are wayback machine links, not links straight to the fic page. If a link doesn’t work, try copy/pasting the url into your search bar, and be sure to archive the page for the rest of us!

(Good In Bed But) Better With Chopsticks Ryan couldn’t use chopsticks if his life depended on it.

(Not) Afraid Of Being Broken In Brendon wasn’t really sure how it’d happened. Well, he knew it started with some cuddling, then moved slowly, building for months until everything started to fit together

[And You’ll End Up Looking Like Supernovas] Ryan gets sunburned.

[Douse The Lights] “I’ve been waiting for you,” Brendon tells him, and Ryan says, “I know.”

[Off a Cliff Just For the Spark] Ryan doesn’t want to do anything to ruin his already perfect memories. Brendon thinks that the stupidest thing ever.

[You’ll Be Platinum] Brendon’s sex tape gets mixed reviews.

@Replies Panic loves spamming twitter

1-800-CALL-ME-B Brendon works in a call center, but not just any call center, and a certain client keeps calling back for more. It’s better than you’d think.

20 Little Random Moments Brendon and Ryan’s relationship told in 20 moments.

21 “Attention” was the number one thing on Brendon’s list of stuff he wanted for his birthday.

28:06:42:12 Donnie Darko. It’s great but the end is really disappointing, sigh.

50-50 Ryan Ross says yes to lube.

86, 400 Chances Ryan has Asperger’s Syndrome and is obsessed with time. Brendon loves him and goes with the flow. With 86,400 seconds in a day there are 86,400 chances to break it or keep it all together.

A Break from the Noise Ryan Ross has “noise.” He hears what people think, feels what they feel, and sees what they see in their mind.

A City Named For Us Brendon and Ryan and the bitch of living. (Ryan’s side) And not-sequel-type-thing? That Long in Darkness Pined Brendon and Ryan and the bitch of living. (Brendon’s side.)

A Dark and Rainy Night An isolated video shoot turns deadly when a series of seeming coincidences conspire to trap the boys of Panic! at the Disco in a mountain valley with a psycho killer on the loose… And Brendon can’t seem to stop staring dreamily at Ryan long enough to focus on the danger!

A Doll In His HandsRyan’s fingers are messy, so Brendon cleans them off.

A Fetish For The Finite And Sequel: Crush Me Like A Flower and third: Drop A Heart AND A FOURTH: Just What I’m Used To

A Friend Of Mine Ryan just needs someone to come and hang out with him, but everyone’s busy. Story of his life. Jon sends his friend Brendon to help.

A Hotter Touch, A Better F… Than Any Girl You’ll Ever Meet The one where being Mr. Nice Guy has some unforeseen consequences.

A Kiss for Luck, Submerge Myself “At least she thought we were fighting,” he offered weakly, fixated on the undone top buttons of Brendon’s shirt and the flash of pale skin that showed through the gap and wondering if Brendon was as hard beneath those dress pants as he was right now.

A Little Less Sixteen Candles

"To be honest, I kind of just want him to pound me."

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Schoolboy Crush

What if Ryan can have them both?

A Little Less… and Sequel: The Pros And Cons Of Group Sex With Your BandmatesGSF. why.

A Little More Touch Me

Brendon had a thing about Ryan’s hands.

A Lover or a Friend, a Big Thing or a Small Brendon Urie, famous solo artist, is finally working on his second album, but it’s coming along a little slower than he’d hope. He can’t help it—he has a son to take care of, someone who he puts in front of everything. When Pete, his boss, gets restless and demands he starts working on the album, he brings Brendon a lyricist to help him get it finished. As the work progresses, their friendship progresses—but what happens when feelings do the same? What’s Brendon supposed to do when Ryan’s off limits in more ways than one?

A Manic Depressive Named Laughing Boy It is a truth not universally acknowledged that every small boy of highly advanced mechanical and electrical skills must be in want of a robot. Thus, Spencer created George 1.0

A Million Ways To Fall Brendon is having trouble coming to terms with being gay. So what does he do? Have a one-night stand of course. He starts to get sick and when he passes out, he’s taken to the doctor and finds out he has a mysterious unknown man disease. Either that, or he’s pregnant.

A Mitten Love Story Ryan and Brendon liked being snowman hands. They liked everything about being mittens together

A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square Brendon Urie has had a hopeless crush on Ryan Ross since the mortifying moment when he introduced himself at a national forensic conference by tripping in the aisle next to where Ryan was sitting and getting coffee all over his shirt.

A Physics Prodigy From Ukraine Ryan has depression and then Brendon moves in next door.

A Proportional Response So, yes, okay, he had a public sex kink. He was an attention whore, and besides, everyone had something, right? Still, it was totally unfair of Brendon to use it against him like this.

A Shift in Tone Brendon questions Ryan’s words.

A Simple Souvenir Ryan hates the beach and he hates even more that he has to spend his vacation there.

A Tale Of Two Bookstores Patrick manages one of the many Barnes & Nobles in town, and everything is fine aside from his grumpy cashiers, his caffeine addicted baristas, and the two hidden in the back closet. Everything is fine, that is, until Borders decided to move in down the street and, yeah, Patrick is in trouble.

A Vicious, Delicious Cycle Brendon thinks school paddings are just a big tease.

A Wave You Glide In On High School AU. Fake Dating

A Year and an Ocean of Distance Based on the infamous Twitpic.

Abomination

High School. Brendon develops a crush on the pastor’s son. In which it is okay to cry over just about anything and it’s also acceptable to have sex in your friend’s grandmother’s bath using her head and shoulders shampoo as lubricant.

About Changes to @Replies: TheSpencerSmith @thisisryanross Jealous much? (Twitter!fic)

About Love and Forgetfulness One day, Brendon wakes up with amnesia.

About Space Unicorns and Chocolate Pudding Luke’s daddy was the coolest person on earth. He always played games with him and he could build the most awesome space camps.

Absence Ryan and Brendon grew up together, but have grown apart. Brendon stayed in Vegas and built his life there, while Ryan left the city to be thrown all over the world by a job he despises. After years of coming and going, they attempt to take a hold of each other once more.

Ace of Spades Ryan Ross has dodged death too many times, and when he does die he’s given another chance: go back to Earth and make someone fall in love with him in less then a month. Only problem is… he has to make a straight boy fall in love with him.

After All, You’re My Wonderwall He’d puke until his back, shoulders and stomach were burning. He’d throw up until he couldn’t breathe, sobbing uncontrollably as he knelt down in front of the toilet, hands palm flat against the dirty church floor.

After I Have Dreamed “Ryan Ross!” Brendon declares when he steps off the bus in front of their hotel, glasses askew, turning to face Ryan. “I love you!”

After the Rain Ryan finds a boy who is soaking wet and obviously hurt.

Agent Provocateur Brendon’s hit in the head and loses his memory. Spy fic.

Akin Brothers, Ryan and Brendon, were separated at a young age by their parents’ divorce. Their father took Ryan, against his wishes, to live in New York, while Brendon stayed in Nevada with their mother. Now, twelve years later, the two brothers are forced to spend time with each other, something that doesn’t go over too well with a bitter Ryan.

Aliens in America Brendon’s convinced Ryan is an alien.

All Aboard Memory Lane

All Along Ryan always seems to appear when Brendon is doing something particularly embarrassing.

All For You The thing about Brendon, Ryan muses to himself, is that he loves attention.

All in My Mind The day Brendon met him was the day Ryan’s life started unraveling at the seams.

All My Best Titles Are Song Lyrics Ryan unknowingly takes his favorite song-writer’s virginity.

All That You Can’t Hold Ryan stares out the window a lot.

All This Alcohol Is Going To My Brain Ryan’s getting married and Brendon just can’t move on.

All This Alcohol is Going To My Head Just one more drink and he’ll move on, he swears. Sequel: Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue Brendon ruins everything.

All To Catch A Thief Brendon’s life is comatose and boring until someone breaks into every house in the town except his. A fairy tale about criminals. It’s so cute!

All We Fear is All that Can Save Us Jon and Ryan still talk to Spencer, and Jon still talks to Brendon, but since that decision was made last May, Ryan and Brendon haven’t really talked. And Brendon knows that he shouldn’t be surprised that Ryan’s here; after all, he’s here and he’s never been as, well, expressive about sex as Ryan has been.

All We Fear Is All We’ve Forgotten They both get off on pain

All We Have Seventeen years into the future, things have changed. It’s time to find out where you come from, where you belong, and where you’re going.

All Wound Up

Brendon will never mention it but he loves Ryan best when he’s restless.

All You Need Is And everyone is always saying it, always singing “All you need is love,” but no one actually really realizes what they’re saying.

Alternate Uses For A Hipster’s Decor “Did you know Spencer’s coming over?” Ryan says, and Spencer startles so badly that his hand nearly smacks into the door, and Spencer knows the sound of that would give him away, but Ryan’s talking again, and Spencer strains to hear. “What do you think he’d do, if he came in and saw us like this?”

Always Leaving, But If there’s a science to it, Brendon can’t figure it out.

Amnesia in the Shithole Four days since their last gig. Four long, weary days since Ryan Ross, the guitarist of the world-known band Panic! at the Disco had mysteriously disappeared. Four days full of sorrow, worry and fights over frustration. Brendon sighed. Four days without Ryan by my side, he thought, feeling hot tears burning his eyes.

Amplified Ryan doesn’t understand why people think he’s a slut.

An Accident or an Incident? If you have a serious problem with the opposite gender you probably shouldn’t go see a creepy fortuneteller.

An Anchor With a Broken Chain When Ian gets hurt in a car accident, Ryan steps up to the plate and takes Ian’s place in the Panic at the Disco tour.

An Attempt to Clean Up a Mess He turns his head to look at the ceiling, words blurring together in a broken sigh, “Life is a mess, Brendon. And I hate messes, very, very much.”

An Unlikely Victorian Heroine

”Arms aren’t supposed to get me so hot, Ross.”

And Don’t Twirl Ryan is a 22-year-old model, with empty aspirations and disappointment with himself. He meets a hairdresser who needs to belong, and maybe he needs to find out what he needs before he can be what other people need.

And I Will Know You By the Shape of Your Absence Life has a habit of becoming ridiculously reliable when you’re least expecting it.

And If Angels Can Fall Features lonely, scientist Ryan, who discovers something he never thought possible on a normal day at work. Brendon related shenanigans and minor angst ensue.

And She Will Be Loved Ryan finds Brendon broken and bruised on a lobby floor and decides that Brendon needs to be showed what love is.

And Some You Do For Brendon Urie is lonely, Spencer Smith and Jon Walker are bored and life in Thornton Hill seems like it’s never going to be anything but mundane. Then a mysterious stranger sets up a shop on Main Street and suddenly everything is a little more magical. Part one of the Thornton Hill series

And That Smile That You Give To Me Ryan wants nothing more than to let Brendon knows how he feels, but he’s too shy to say anything. So Jon decides to help and makes up a game of seduction with a promise that if Ryan plays correctly, he’ll have Brendon falling over him in four days.

And The Clock Strikes Twelve

Brendon sinks into his chest, gaze landing on the mirror in front of them. “Look at us,” he breathes, even though Ryan already is.

And The Night Shall Be Filled With Music symphony orchestra.

And the Sun Burnt Out Tonight People’s faces look so much richer when they’ve been crying, but I always found it the most tortuous sight in the world to watch you cry. It was just wrong.

And Then It RainedStanding on the other side of the window, looking rather distraught and soaked to the bone, glancing around helplessly as the rain pounded down on him.

And We’ll Always Have Barcelona

Ryan and Brendon have long broken up, but Brendon invites Ryan to Barcelona for vacation anyway.

And Whether Pigs Have Wings Ryan impulse buys a pet shop and employs Brendon to help him out there. Completely adorable.

Angel of Music His life is hard, and he’s often mistreated, but at least he’s got a roof over his head, and food in his stomach. He’s learned to stop wanting any more then that.

Angels Among Us Ryan never knows how Brendon talks him into doing things like this.

Annoying Bunk sex, yay!

Another Good Word For Fellatio Ryan is offended that Brendon gives better head.

Anxiety Features nervous Brendon and shy Ryan in the cliché high school setting. Ryan’s in an abusive relationship with Jake and no one notices. Brendon’s the shy, geeky kid [whose best friend is one Mr. William Beckett] who just wants Ryan to notice him.

Anyone Else But You Right before college starts up again, Brendon meets Spencer’s friend, Ryan, and they hook up. Two days later, he finds out Ryan is one of his teachers.

Aphrodite’s Trap Brendon and Ryan go to Greece, but Ryan’s apparently the boy of ancient prophesy.

Apparitions and Other Everyday Abnormalities Ghost!fic. Ryan’s mother has completely fucked up his life by uprooting them and moving them back to Vegas, back to his hometown. He was expecting to be alone in a new place with no friends. What he wasn’t expecting was to find his house rather occupied by an univited guest that doesn’t seem to be able to leave. READ NOW.

Are You Like This, Afraid to be Yourself download link. Ryan is cold and Brendon is hot. Perfect!

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Brendon When Brendon came home with a bloody nose for the third time that week, his mother didn’t even ask. She just sighed and said, “Oh, dear.” The not again was implied.

Armed With Nothing But Your Boyish Grin Brendon actually has a morning routine now. God, they are getting old. No matter that they’re both still at least two years away from hitting the big 30, but how their younger selves would have laughed if they’d known that Brendon would have a morning routine and Ryan would be impossible until he’d had at least a pot’s worth of coffee.

As Dreamers Do In which Ryan forgets how not to talk.

At the Shade of Your Sheets “Hi, I’m Brendon. I like The Little Mermaid almost but not quite better than Fall Out Boy. What d’you want to drink?”

Attack Of The Blue Flu or How Ryan Helped Brendon Save Christmas Santa Claus sends Brendon on a mission to spread Christmas cheer.

Attention to Detail Brendon paid attention to what would make Ryan chuckle, low and breathless, and what would make him shudder and bite his lip.

Aubergine Dreams He imagines Ryan running his hands over it, smoothing out the creases and wrinkles, the way it would sit not quite right on his hips, over his chest, without any curves to fill it out.

Automatic Joy This really was a fucked up thing to do, but he needed to get laid, and this just happened to be the perfect way to do it. A shiny plaque at the statue’s feet read “Ryan is a Coin Operated Boy. Insert a Quarter Into the Palm of his Hand and He’ll Do the Rest.

Autumn/Spring Brendon is struggling with a family that’s falling apart after his sister’s death. Then he meets Ryan.

Autumn/Winter Brendon’s completing his senior year of high school, trying to make it past the first anniversary of his sister’s death and one day become a hairdresser. Ryan’s a boy at the park with stunning eyes and hyperactive dog that walks into Brendon’s life without realizing. It’s a story about love and moving on.

Avoid the Good and Enjoy the Bad Brendon’s fiancé is a millionaire, his name is Chris. Chris suggested that Brendon should move in with him in his huge fucking mansion with three floors, sixteen bedrooms, twenty washrooms, three kitchens, four living rooms, blah, blah, blah, you get the point…And well of course you’re going to have maids, gardeners, chefs, servants, etcetera…And Ryan’s one of them. Eh?

Awkward, Unwanted Boner (AUB) Brendon had been having a good day, heck, a great day, so it was only fitting that it would all change in his seventh period History class.

Baboons and the Quest for the Last Poptart “It was the coolest, most fucked up dream ever, Jon Walker and I must share it with you.”

Back At One “Save you?” Brendon’s laugh is hollow and utterly wrong, twisting through a lull in the music. If Ryan never had to hear it again, it would still be too soon. “I’m not superman.”

Back to the Middle of the Place That Started It All Ryan was good at keeping secrets. But this secret was about to catch up with him. Honestly, honestly, this is the fic where Ryan gives birth.

Back To The Place He’s cute.” Brendon looks over at her, startled, and wonders if it’s all as obvious as it feels, if she can see it scrawled across his face after only talking to him for ten minutes.

“He’s uh. He’s my band mate.” And Sequel: Until We’ve Reached Our Ever After

Bad Habit Ryan has a bad habit.

Ballad For The Lost Romantics Ryan didn’t exactly plan on being chased down the streets of Vegas by a gang one late night. He didn’t plan on being kidnapped either. Much less by someone who claims to be Ryan’s friend and protector, despite the fact that the two of them have never met before.

Bananas

Ryan finds a new way of looking at Brendon, but he doesn’t want to.

Bartering Lines

"Okay, deal. You can kiss me, but stop tickling me in exchange."

Basic Adjustments Three days into the recording of The Album that Has Yet to Be Named, Brendon loses his voice. Just like that.

Bear Brendon thought that the Bear was the best thing ever. To be fair, though, Brendon always thought that something was the best thing ever, but it just so happened that today, this week, this month, whatever, it was the Bear.

Beautiful Color “Tell me why they’re beautiful. Explain them to me.”

Because You Look Like A Jackass Brendon is new in town and already trying (and failing) to win Ryan’s heart.

Bedtime

Brendon likes to sleep naked, did you know?

Been Taken Underage shenanigans on the fold out couch from the infamous share.

Before Midnight Brendon’s at a fancy dinner and Ryan is a waiter.

Behind the Curtain Panic! in the Wizard of Oz.

Behind The Golden Arches Brent and Ronald McDonald porn. How Brent Wilson Got His Hair Greasy The sequel. Technically not ryden. But this is my rec list and i do what I want *pathetic snaps*

Believe That Life Can Change Ryan gets pregnant; Brendon isn’t quite sure what to make of it.

Best Friends Means Brendon’s pretty much the Godfather of the school. Ryan’s his little-known right hand man. They’re best friends and they’ll stick by each other’s sides forever. But what Brendon doesn’t know and what Ryan’s beginning to feel will certainly complicate things.

Best Laid Plans

Brendon had a three-step plan to make Ryan Ross fall in love with him.

Bets Off

"I know you guys are taking bets on me and Brendon," Ryan said, "and I want in."

Better Together Pete was sort of vague about details and Ryan didn’t exactly have the balls to question it, but it is today, Pete said he’s coming today.

Between A Hard Place And You Ryan’s stronger than he looks.

Between the Lines “I wrote you an album.”

Big Girls Don’t Cry Fairy Princess Ryan is lonely. He never expects a stranger on the road to wind up being the one imperfect person who can change that.

Birthday Call Ryan calls Brendon.

Bitch Hikers Ryan picks up Brendon off the side of the rode. Then they pick up the Spencer and this is their journey. Makes absolutely NO sense at all and is perfect.

Black And White Piano Keys Ryan’s an English major and he needs a final project, but he gets a little more than he expected “You are the words to my music, Ryan Ross. You are the chorus to my melody. You are the beauty behind the beast.”

Bless You Brendon has an allergy for dogs. Ryan notices that every time Brendon has a sneezing fit, he disappears to the restroom and only returns a lot later.

Blind Leading The Blind/Testimonial It all played out like a movie, the first three years of my high school career. Always the typical love/hate relationship plot line. Always jumping from event to event, keeping the pace and suspense, trying not to let the audience get bored. And we all know that the good movies never have a happy ending.

Bluebirds Fly Brendon isn’t a weatherman, he’s a meteorologist, and when a new resident news anchor joins The KATU news station, he’s more than a little excited.

Boston The day I found my sister in the bathtub dead was the day I met Ryan Ross.

Boy You Better Put Your Pen To Paper And Charm Your Way Out Everyone knows that George Ryan Ross is straight. Why would I have a chance with him? And especially me, Brendon Boyd Urie.

Boy You Got A Real Pretty Face… Too Bad I Want To Break It Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie, esteemed and respected editors of Harlequin Magazine. They put each other through the fires of hell but could there be room for something else?

Boys Next Door Playboy Bunnies! Or the one where we objectify Brendon’s ass like whoa.

Breaking Brendon thinks differently. He jumps.

Breaking Rules Has Interesting Consequences (And Never Forget That Payback’s A Bitch) Ryan didn’t mean to. Too bad Brendon doesn’t care

Brendon and the Beast Beauty and the Beast AU. You knew it was going to come at some point.

Brendon and the Purple Crayon Like Harold and the Purple Crown. Except it’s Panic.

Brendon Ryan talks about Brendon.

Brendon Urie Dreamer Extraordinaire Mind magic isn’t against the law but generally people avoid it. It’s dangerous and unpredictable and those who take part are usually outcasts of society. If Spencer suggested this, he must be pretty fucking serious.

Brendon Urie Pet Detective Ryan Ross is the new kennel attendant at a veterinary clinic. Dogs all over town are going missing and when Ryan’s dog Hobo disappears, he’s lucky that his coworker Jon Walker knows who to call. Super Cute!

Brendon Urie’s Guide To Starting a Band There was nothing Brendon wanted more than to be in a band. Except maybe a really cute guy who loved him lots and being in a band. That would be totally awesome, but Brendon had to focus on the Getting a Band Together part first.

Brendon, You Asshole Brendon’s a dick and Ryan’s pissed. And he certainly is not going to give into those puppy dog eyes an hour later, just begging to fuck him or—more likely—for a blowjob with a clumsy postorgasm hand job as reciprocation.

Bright Copper Non-Sunsets ”Hi, I’m Ryan Ross. You have a name that starts with a B and that’s all I know about you. I stare across a room of feebly drunk people and I see you with cocaine in my eyes in my lips on my ears in my brain and I think, BBBBBBBBBB.

Brilliant Smiles And Barely Scraping By Brendon’s holding something inside of himself. It’s far from his heart; that’s where his favorite songs are kept. What he keeps secret is held in a place that Brendon himself doesn’t even want to try to find.

Broken Glass And Rusted Nails When Ryan gets the tattoo, he bears it casually, sprawled out in the chair and smiling at Brendon’s chatter as the needle traces over his skin.

BuildABear Brendon and Ryan go to BuildABear.

Bully Buttsex Complete crack

Burning Down Cathedrals That one where Brendon’s a famous musician and he gets Ryan’s band signed and where they don’t literally burn down cathedrals. Very good.

Burning Through My Head

Ryan helps Brendon with his Halloween makeup.

But I’ll Stray

"I thought we stopped doing this."

But In Time Brendon’s lyrics have the strange tendency to come true. Creepy Folkin’ Around theory in here.

But It’s Better If You Do Brendon Urie lives in Chicago with his teenage daughter Reagan. He divorced Reagan’s mother, Lizzie, two years ago because of her refusal to seek help for her alcohol abuse. One day while cleaning the attic, Reagan Urie discovers an old photo album that puts questions in her head that her father never wanted to have to answer.

But Sweeter The part that didn’t make sense, at first glance, was the spoon.

But Where Do The Nuns Come In? In which, Brendon’s family do their best, Ryan goes camping, Spencer mocks from afar, and Brendon is fascinated by Ryan’s flies

By Small and Simple Things

And there’s no way that Skittle is currently hoisted above the head of a tiny little brown-haired man who is pressing the mouse away with his foot and shrieking in frantic whispers… No, it’s just not possible. Except it is.

By Super, I Mean You They all have super powers and Brendon spies on Ryan while he’s showering.

Cabin Days, Cabin Nights. 2nd POV!

Call Me Maybe Brendon meets a boy he can’t get out of his head.

Call Off The Crush “I wasn’t thinking straight”

Calling I heard a high pitched noise and turned my head to the side. Beside me on the steps sat a mouse brown cat with big honey coloured eyes.

Can I Have Your Number? Brendon REALLY wants Ryan’s number.

Can We Fast Forward To Go Down On Me?

redorchids

Brendon and Ryan are getting it on in a supply closet.

Can’t Buy Me Love Ryan has a thing for shoplifting.

Can’t Forget The Things You Never Said Really, Ryan probably should have known that Brendon would be just as talkative in bed as he was out of it.

Can’t Stay Away Ryan Ross hates pain. He can’t stand any form of it; emotional or physical.

Candyboy There is an urban legend about how a boy can get the most spectacular and orgasmic kiss of his life, if he dares to try it.

Capes of Red Ryan doesn’t think he’s dead, he’s just misplaced his resurrection.

Capital Letters Make Things More Official

Cardboard The thing about the world – it’s always moving. Spinning, twisting at breakneck speed and leaving him behind, always, and it’s just so confusing. So Brendon seals his eyes shut to avoid the motion sickness.

Carnival (The Normal Kind With Rides, Not The Creepy Ye Olde Carnivale Kind) Migraines, guilt, confusion, winning of stuffed toys, dates that may or may not be dates and of course Jon and Spencer.

Carry On Supernatural AU He pressed himself against the wall when he saw the figure standing at his door. Now he was probably really gone crazy.

Carving Out Our Names The road to Maryland is paved with good intentions.

Case Number 182 How the split of Panic came about. Based on actual events, photos, tweets, videos, etc.

Castles in the Sky To say he is crazy is an insult. To say he is sick is an even bigger one. Brendon has to cope with the people around him and the way his family acts towards him after he ended up in the psychiatric ward. While maintaining a complicated relationship with the place’s resident pyromaniac: Ryan Ross.

Catching Airplanes Northern Downpour in which Ryan, Brendon, Spencer, and Jon put graffiti in various locations.

Cathedrals and Finger-Steeples Ryan doesn’t know exactly what Brendon wants from him, and he’s pretty sure that Brendon doesn’t, either.

Catnip Ryan and Spencer smoked catnip and turned into cats.

Caught Up In the Stars Brendon stared down at his feet, doing all that he could to avoid looking at the man. It wasn’t like things were bad between them; they were just a little uncomfortable since they’d stopped being together, of sorts. Whatever it was they were before, Brendon wasn’t sure.

Cave Of Wonders Jon Walker keeps hearing about these fabulous orgies.

Chain Of Flowers

Brendon gets a new tattoo on the last day of the Honda Civic Tour.

Chasing the Monsoons Brendon’s always had a problem filtering his thoughts, and when he get high, it gets a little worse, which is why he confesses his fear to Ryan.

Children of Wrath The one where Ryan is dead and Brendon is charged. (Don’t not read it because of the summary.)

Christmas in the Desert AU college. Ryan and Brendon are done with finals. Brendon’s supposed to go with his parents to visit family while Ryan’s prepared to spend the holidays alone.

Chutes and Ladders Brendon has an adventure in babysitting, although he should probably pay more attention to the kid than her older brother.

Cicatrice “His name is Ryan Ross, well, George Ryan Ross III to be exact, but everyone knows him as Scar. Scar is everything Brendon is not, everything Brendon envies and wants to be. Scar doesn’t give a shit what people think about him, and he cares even less about everyone else’s feelings. Scar is every bad boy your Mom warned you about, and also few of the bad girls on top of that.” Sequel is Overshadowed

Claim The Sky There are several days in Brendon’s life that, he’s decided, have changed him forever.

Clandestine

Clarity Feeling bored and confused about life, Brendon goes to New York. He meets an insightful artist who helps him break out of his shell.

Coal—Sweater—iPod—This It’s Brendon’s job to deliver Christmas presents, but something special happens when he gets to a certain house.

Cock Slut and Sequel: Interruptions

Coffee Ryan is a misanthropic Starbucks barista who is a tired insomniac and just wants to be left alone. Then Brendon moves in.

Cold Light Of Morning

Brendon wakes to Ryan’s hand stroking softly across his stomach.

Collect The Moments One By One It was Spencer’s idea. And that’s how bad shit happens. What else would anyone suspect when the Urie-Smith-and-sometimes-Valdés household attempts to throw a New Years Eve party and invites Ryan along with his many people?

Color Of Insanity Diamonds are a girl’s best friend but it turns out that sometimes boys want them too. To save themselves from a fate worse than jail, Spencer, Ryan and Jon need to steal a world famous jewel. Maybe they’ll need a little help.

Color Outside the Lines

Colors Ryan becomes blind in a freak accident, but Brendon will always be there for him.

Colour Wheel Brendon thinks in colors.

Combustion Brendon goes to a Renaissance Faire where he meets Ryan, a fire performer. Sequel is Kindle.

Come Undone Brendon thinks Ryan’s scarves are ridiculous.

Come What Sorrow Can

People bully Brendon, Ryan takes care of him.

Common Circuitry Problems

”Oh,” Brendon breathed. “Your robot has a stutter. Spencer, that’s adorable.”

Common Sense

Ryan and Brendon grow up together.

Communication Skills Brendon thinks Ryan doesn’t want him anymore.

Comptine D’un tre Ete In his mind, Ryan felt like he was in a foreign film a lot of the time.

Conflicted They’re back on the bus. Brendon is irritating, Ryan is irritated.

Consanguinity Ryan never really thought of Brendon as anything more than a partner in crime. He hardly even thought of her as his “little sister.”

Conversations With Dead People Brendon’s mom sends him to stay with his aunt one summer. Maybe if his cousin wasn’t such bad company, Brendon wouldn’t have befriended the ghost.

Could Be Someone Ryan’s father died two months and four days after he graduated college, leaving his son with more debt than anything else. We’re all just trying to get by.

Counting Down the Days ‘Til You’re Walking Through My Door Brendon first met Ryan on a Tuesday.

Cradle of Civilization When an ancient device that has been buried under the sands of Egypt for thousands of years is uncovered, it brings with it more questions than answers, and for decades it remains a mystery until an extraordinary young man is brought in to solve what no one else has been able to. What is revealed is a gate between worlds, and a small group ventures through into the unknown where they are tossed headfirst into a struggle as old as the device itself. Through war and death and oppression and vast desert sands, maybe they will learn that some mysteries are better left as that. But there is also the chance, for one, to finally learn of the one thing that will make it all worth it.

Crash The Cemetery Gates Brendon’s a vampire under William’s reign, but comes across trouble when he’s inexplicably drawn to a human under Pete’s wing.

Crawling Vines Ryan’s a teenage kid who walks around town at night, and gets sucked into the world of a ghost, called Brendon Urie.

Crayons, Ketchup and A Lap Dance Tester Brendon curses the day when he promised to work as a substitute teacher for kindergarten. And Sequel: Smoothies, Hug-Attacks, and More Crayons

Crazy/Beautiful Ryan’s a slut and Brendon’s Mr. GoodyTwoShoes but somehow they manage to fall in love.

Crime And Passion Brendon witnesses a murder and Ryan is sent to protect him from the mobsters who want to kill him to stop him from testifying against them.

Crimson A questionably sarcastic tale in the wondrous world of Guitar Center

Cupid’s Chokehold is Stronger Than His Bow And Arrow High School. Cupid hates to fall witness to people hating each other. Unfortunately for him, Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross want to kill each other. Can Cupid keep his bow and arrow aimed at the right two people, or will his pet-peeve come in the way of fate?

Dance In the Rain It’s their movie moment.

Dance Upon The Waves A Pirate Fic. Brendon swears this is the last time he’s going to take treasure-hunting advice from a giant turtle. And *flailing motion* Sequel: [Untitled?]

Dance With a Ghost Kiss me and tell me it’s not broken.

Dance With the One Who Brought You Pete gives Ryan the worst gift for his birthday which turns into the best gift of his life.

Danger! High Voltage Ryan and Brendon find a new way to entertain themselves

Date Night At first it’s awkward.

Days Gone By Crack!fic in which Ryan turns into Brendon’s favorite stuffed animal, Waffles the Penguin.

Deafening Silence It takes one brief moment to realize that sometimes it’s just better to let go. But it doesn’t make it any less painful.

Dealing With Bullets

The first time Ryan was pushed against the wall was when he and Brendon were just fifteen, wearing Third Eye Blind tshirts and skinny jeans and converse.

Dear Catastrophe Waiter 21-year-old Brendon moves to San Francisco, home of gay coffee bars, free donuts, and Ryan, the prettiest waiter Brendon’s ever seen.

Definitely (Maybe) Brendon has been pinning over Ryan for ages. The only thing stopping him now, is one Gabe Saporta.

Deprivation

Desert Drive Ryan and Brendon go for a late night drive.

Desperate Times And All That

Diamond in the Rough Brendon needs some help getting the boy. A Genie is just the way.

Diamonds, Loose Ryan thinks he’s got everything planned. That is, until Brendon turns up at his high school, and shows him how unstable he really is. It’s a story about lust, angst, and how no matter how hard you try, you can’t really escape when you’re in love.

Did We Get Hitched Last Night? The guy who will write ‘One Night Stands For Dummies’ will deserve a Nobel prize.

Did You Think That You Were Dreaming? Meet 17-year-old Brendon, sent to an institution and new school after he snapped. On his bent road to recovery, he meets three boys on the way, Jon Walker, William Beckett, and Ryan Ross, each facing their own problems and issues, and then there’s the odd and intriguing Lauren. Brendon has to learn that accepting and overcoming the past is his only way to be free of the instituation, and the only one that can teach him that is the one and only Ryan Ross.

Different Ways to Get to Where We Are

Dim the Glare Brendon goes to Ryan’s father’s funeral with him.

Dirty Second Hands Ryan has a serious Mommy Complex and Brendon just wants Ryan to snap the hell out of it.

Discoveries And Obsessions (Part 1 of the D.O series~) Brendon never thought it would turn out to be so addictive. He never thought, when he first squeezed a finger inside carefully, wincing at the pressure that he’d get addicted to feeling.

Do You Know What I’m Seeing? Spencer sees it first, the way RyanandBrendon and SpencerandJon is fast becoming RyanandJon, and Spencer, then Brendon.

Do You Remember Where We Met?

From the library’s security camera’s perspective. Drabble; Ryan works at the library.

Doctor Knows Best Ryan has severe insomnia and goes with Brendon to Dr. House to find a solution. While helping Ryan, House can’t help but notice something interesting about his patient.

Doing Fine “Don’t bullshit me.” Dallon’s never this forward with people he barely knows, but he feels as if he knows Ryan very well, as if he’s been running Dallon’s life for the past year and a half.

Don’t Forget How Well I Know You

Brendon’s quite the flirt. Ryan’s quite the control freak.

Don’t Mention Love or, I Constantly Thank God For Nymphomania Brendon has a theory. He’s no psychologist, of course, but he’s thought about it a lot too much, really and his guess is as good as anyone’s. Ryan is a complete nymphomaniac, Brendon thinks, because Ryan does not relate to people on a normal level. Ryan does not relate to life on a normal level. He bottles up all his emotions and pours it all into lyrics and sex. He tries to express an entire spectrum of feeling that way. No wonder he has to do it so often.

Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Basket Nice…egg, Brendon.” “Actually, Spencer, it’s my child.” He gives Ryan an endearing look. “Our child, to be more correct.”

Don’t Wish For Me Ryan dragged them all to see a fortune-teller, and Brendon got more than he bargained for that night.

Don’t You Float Away After Ryan Ross gets the scare of his life, he knows that some good has to come out of the situation. And it does, in the form of Brendon Urie.

Don’t You Know I Love You (When You’re Down & Dirty) Ryan can’t remember the last time he said the word want out loud.

Don’t You Know That I Belong Arm and Arm With You, Baby Brendon embraces his sexuality and Ryan is not jealous and is certainly not in love with him.

Down on the Farm Mrs. Ross, fed up with her son’s destructive and illegal behavior, decides to send him to live with a friend of the family over the summer before his senior year. The worst part is, he’s staying on a farm.

Dream A Little Dream Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross are best friends, band-mates and, well, straight. Or are they?? (Or the one where Brendon sleepwalks…among other things)

Dreaming in D Major But Brendon plays cello like he’s doing the instrument a favor. Ryan can see the fingers of his left hand sliding effortlessly over the strings, finding the right keys as his right hand automatically slides the bow at exactly the right angle to claim the sound.

Drink Me Brendon works for Gabe in his potions shop and one day accidentally doses himself with a love potion. The problem is, Ryan doesn’t know that it’s a potion. More can be found here

Drive Faster, Boy Ryan, Brendon, backseats, secrets.

Drop Our Anchors

Brendon doesn’t like storms.

Drown the Silence Brendon likes the quiet moments.

Drowning in Saltwater Ryan is an aspiring writer with a dark secret that has caused him to close himself off from the rest of the world. One day, he finds inspiration at the beach.

Drowning Lessons Brendon’s washed-up and married, and ends up hooking up with Ryan. Angst. Drama. Angst. Did I mention angst?

Drunken Nights With Brendon Urie ”Fuck, Bren. That’s, like, your fourth drink.”

Eight Seconds Rodeo cowboys .

Elsewhere According to Spencer, the Community is the way it is for the good of everyone. “Choices are dangerous,” he tells Brendon. “What if people were to choose the wrong thing?”

Enchanted Ryan’s never really liked parties.

Encounters-Five Stories Of Love And Loss These are five short stories with the same basic idea a post-break up Brendon and Ryan interacting with each other in different situations. Every story is a new one, they’re not continuous, and they are all relatively short

Epic

Etude In Blue Brendon doesn’t want to think about work or bills or how he had woken up this morning supremely awkward, wondering if he had ruined his new friendship by letting his sleep deprived mouth run away from him again.

Euro-Almost-Trip Includes Scottish Spencer, English Ryan, excited exchange student Brendon and one long assed train journey.

Eurora It’s cool, but you’ll need google translate!

Every Inch of Me Brendon goes to boarding school where he meets Ryan Ross, a rich kid who’s hiding secrets.

Every Night You Stay It wasn’t Ryan’s fault that Brendon had, apparently, taken everything he’d said to heard and decided to make Jon Walker his new best friend and secret boyfriend.

Every Speck Of Dust Illuminated Elizabeth Ann Berg is a witch, and Brendon knows it, and no, he isn’t just saying that Ryan is spending so much time with her (thank you very much, Jon Walker). But knowing it and proving it are two very different things. Featuring Charlotte the cat, Ryan the oblivious and Brendon the hopelessly infatuated.

Everybody Wants to Drive on Through the Night if it’s a Drive Back Home But he knows what rushing into love feels like and he knows it hurts like hell when one of the people in it decides it’s over. And he knows nothing lasts forever. Not even love.

Everyone Is Shaking To Your Name Ryan (and Spencer) go on voyeur sites.

Everything Else Is Meaningless Now Brendon Urie is the nerdy, socially awkward, and gay kid at his high school who gets beat up on a regular basis. Ryan Ross is the cool, popular, and straight kid at the same high school. When Ryan saves Brendon one day everything changes…

Everything I Am Ryan wants more than one person can possibly give him. Brendon tries anyway.

Everything Not Forbidden Is Compulsory A Robin Hood Fic! Ryan is seven when he meets Brendon Urie.

Evil Thoughts Ryan visits a bridge in the middle of the night, planning to leave the world for good.

Exactly What You Think It Is Brendon sends Ryan a copy of the new album.

Expect the Unexpected Sharing a bed hadn’t been their first choice.

Extenuating Circumstances The main difference between Ryan getting pregnant and Spencer getting pregnant was that Spencer had Jon, and Ryan had Brent.

Fae Attraction Urban fantasy AU. If they hadn’t been fighting, Ryan wouldn’t have walked into the group of fae.

Fair Market Value Things go a bit awry when he sees Ryan, and just can’t resist the purchase.

Fake Plastic Trees Ryan feels a twist in his heart, god, what he would give just to hear Brendon sing. To hear his voice, to hear him laugh, to hear him cry, to hear him gasp. To hear his own name fall from those lips. He shakes his head. He hates thinking about things that he knows will never, ever happen.

Falling In Love With Original Sin Ryan’s past keeps coming back to haunt him, his insecurities have prevented him from ever loving another; Until he meets Brendon Urie, the sexy, mysterious guy who makes Ryan feel things he can’t fully understand. Now, the ‘wall’ Ryan has built up over the years is slowly coming down..

Falling Is Like This Brendon is madly in love with the boy from the candy shop. The boy from the candy shop. There’s only one. “I bet he’s sweet,” Pete cracks and Brendon rolls his eyes and groans.

Fallout The world is killing itself in a mass nuclear war and Brendon and Ryan head underground.

Family Values Personally, I don’t care,” are the first words to drip from her mouth. Then, “She deserved it. Stupid slut slept with everyone around her, and a gay boy got her pregnant.” Ryan slips his eyes shut and thinks of her skin glistening under the florescent lights of the bathroom. She’s all china-doll and cold. He smiles to himself. She downed alcohol and pills; copy-cat, he thinks, almost venomously. But then again, he stopped feeling pity a long time ago.

Fascinate.

AND Fascinate. [part 2]

Boys and blood.

Fight Club Brendon is fighting for something. Ryan is curious as to what.

Fighting Just to Breathe Ryan’s friends buy him the shittiest birthday present ever. A gift certificate for yoga classes. But once Ryan meets his instructor, it turns out to be the best gift he could ever ask for. and Sequel Come Back to the Place We Are

Fighting the Flow Brendon is stubborn and Ryan is confused; the push and pull of power in a dysfunctional relationship, and the difficulties involved.

Fire Island The one with the deserted island and the abundance of Nightwish lyrics.

First Tell Me Which Road You Will Take The one where Ryan and Brendon chose to make it better.

Five Reasons Why Jon Almost Quit the Band (And One Why He Didn’t) Jon’s first weeks in the band were pretty hard on him.

Five Times Ryan Tries To Propose (And the One Time He Does)

Ryan is maybe kind of a colossal idiot.

Five Times Ryan Ross Let Brendon Urie Walk Away When He Should Have Told Him To Stay

Five Times Zack Almost Caught Ryan and Brendon (And the One Time He Didn’t) He knew the first time he met them there was something going on.

Flicker “Oh, right! Pixie dust. Right, I always forget that part.” Peter Pan!

Flowers

Brendon’s learning that the world is made up of many things, including evil. He also learns that evil is usually attracted to good people.

Flying Just Like “We have a Wendybird all of our own,” said Jon, “only butterfly-shaped. And, um. We used to call it Ryan.

Folkin’ Around “It’s about you, Ryan.”

Footnote in a Fairy Tale Ryan stood at the bar and sipped his drink, watching the crowd, waiting until he found whatever it was he’d been needing for the last few days. Ever since they’d arrived in London there’d been a feeling in the pit of his stomach, that something had to happen. He needed change, he needed excitement.

Footsteps In The Snow In Brendon’s world, all men are missing their halves and are doomed never to find them. But, one day, Brendon hears a voice in his head, and it’s not his own.

For a Minute There (I Lost Myself) “Brendon,” Ryan says, and his voice is low and quiet and curls up Brendon’s spine like a drunken serpent. Ryan’s fingers are long and thin. He taps a beat on the desk as he speaks. “Yes?” Brendon asks. “I think you’re magical,” Ryan says, “and I wanted to know how would you feel about doing hair for a rock band?”

For A Minute There He remembers when it was nothing more than playing, writing, making music with the boy who handed him the words and then took his breath.

For All the Right Reasons A look at a year in a relationship.

For Anyone, Ever Burned So Bright Ryan likes Brendon, and he likes secrets, and he doesn’t want the two to be mutually exclusive.

For His Sons (And Their Three Separate Hearts) Ryan thinks that hearts aren’t those big bouncy things that girls draw on love letters. No, they’re more lumpy, more thin and dripping.

For Keeps He sees Ryan, and Brendon knows that Ryan would be like one of those t-shirts that’s been washed way too many times, so worn through it’s almost translucent, with a few real holes showing through to skin, but soft. Soft and just the perfect fit, clinging to your skin in all the right places.

For Love Of The Sun Fallen Angel Fic! Brendon was an angel until he was exiled from the heavens. His wings were cut back and he fell down to Earth, losing all his memories in the process. When Ryan finds him on the streets, unconscious and helpless, it’s not like he can just leave him there.

For Other Meanings Of Tsunami See, the more Brendon thinks about it, the more it makes sense. Brendon is kind of genius; he just didn’t know it. Sex with Ryan. He guesses it could work.

For Whatever You Lose You can’t always get what you want… unless you fish it out of the ocean.

Forgetting You In A Cabaret Ryan Ross is the son of a wealthy strip joint and casino owner, but his father employs him to do a lot more than serve drinks.

Fortifications and Many Other Things He’s not mad at Ian, not really. It’s just that the way the curly haired boy was playing the guitar reminded him of someone.

Four Four defining moments. Four heartbreaks. But only one man caused them all.

Four Men And A Little Cabin Unrelated, nonlinear scenes from a recording cabin.

Freakend

"Assuming a little much, are we, Urie?"

Freaks An accident lands Ryan in the hospital, and he meets Jon, who tells him of a mysterious patient on their floor. There’s something not quite right about him, but then again, there’s something not quite right about Ryan as well.

French Kiss Ryan Ross comes to live with the Urie family.

From A Pretty Mouth Ryan likes Brendon in lip gloss.

Fuck Him Gently They lose their virginities together.

Full Circle Two boys, a boat, and the North Sea at night.

Futile Wars

Brendon and Ryan were together for nearly three years, but the relationship ended in tragedy. After over a year of silence they find themselves facing the past, only to realize it’s not the past quite yet.

Gay Chicken Pete wants to play a game which Ryan and Brendon are forced to take part in and they will do anything to win.

Get Back To The Place Where You Once Belonged Ryan always intended to be a novelist. Instead, he’s working as a copy editor for the Seattle Times. It’s not the only thing in his life that somehow got messed up. Also, Brendon writes a musical!

Get Off My Lawn! Ryan Ross promises never to be a cranky old man when he grows old. Well, he lied.

Get Ur Freak On

Whoops.

Gingerbread House Brendon and Ryan are moving into their perfect house or what they think is their perfect house, until it starts everything starts going wrong with it.

Give Me A Sign

Sign language. Ryan Ross doing sign language. With those hands. In front of Brendon.

Give Me Empathy Everyone has adorably useless superpowers.

Give Me More Standard Smoothie Hut Brendon and confusing as fuck Ryan in the lead up to Panic! at the Disco finally getting signed by surprisingly un-creepy Pete Wentz.

Give Up (Get Down)

Given Limits Exist Ryan and Brendon work together and they are perfect together.

Glory Fades

Something sacred, something so beautiful.

Gonna Be A Mighty King

It’s just a Wednesday, but Brendon can still be surprise king for a day.

Good Boy “Two can play at any game. Even Brendon’s disturbing sexual fantasies.

Got to Know for Sure There is a fifty-percent chance that, on certain days of the week, when the lunar cycle is in precisely the right position and Gabe Saporta’s pants are exactly the right shade of neon, Brendon may or may not have a teeny, tiny crush on Ryan fucking Ross.

Grace Brendon is an actor to which Ryan writes the script of his life for.

Grace Note Ryan is a journalist struggling to hold himself together and make a name for himself as a writer. Brendon is the lead singer of the popular band, “Industry of Being” until Brendon leaves the band with little explanation and Ryan is given his big break when he is the one asked to cover the story.

Gravity Fail

Ryan Ross has numerous epic Brendon related fails.

Growing Up And Grey Areas Ryan’s not expecting a new neighbor. He’s certainly not expecting that new neighbor to start attending his private boarding school, and he definitely isn’t prepared for the events that follow.

Guernica Ryan is a stuck-up artist who lives by his routines and never steps out of his familiar patterns. Then as he gets to know Brendon who doesn’t give a shit about rules or routines, or well, anything, it’s a collision of two worlds. Surprisingly, an odd friendship springs up from their acquaintance, but then the shadows of the past begin to unveil and soon they find themselves in a huge mess, one that neither of them is going to walk out of unharmed…

Guide Me Home “It was the first time I slept outside.”

Guilty Pleasure For every action, there are consequences. and Sequel: Gainsay

Hail the Seasons as They Go Ryan’s going off to college. He has less than a week left, a few days of spending time with his friends, with Brendon, and he doesn’t want to complicate anything.

Hand On Your Arm Brendon is blind, interviewers are morons and Pete is Pete.

Hangover From Hell The one where they get drunk and married. NOT A ONESHOT

Have A Little Faith In Me Ryan’s in witness protection. He’s alone, and he wants to keep it that way. Brendon, the new boy, fits in easily but can’t help being intrigued by the quiet boy at the back.

Have Found Out What You Are Like

Brendon splays his pale fingers over the smooth piano keys and just plays. By ear, by touch. There are sheets of music in front of him, but they’re for a different song. He can’t see them anyway, playing with his eyes closed, face blank.

He Acts Like We Never Have Met (I Don’t Believe You) An alternative universe fic of The Heart Rate of a Mouse in which Ryan goes back in time.

This is what we faggots do. Sit in the cars of strangers after sunset, watching them pay for a motel room at the reception.

He Knows He knows. I haven’t told him, but he knows. Brendon always knows with me.

He Was Just Hanging Around Ryan throws Brendon’s phone out the window and has to make up for it somehow.

He Watches The Ships That Come Sailing Pirate Fic! featuring Ryan the Reckless and Brendon who is a little bit lost. It’s cute!

Heart and Tender Heartdealing… Brendon recognizes the term, but in the same vague way that he recognizes the Mafia while really only knowing that it’s something he doesn’t want to mess with and involves people in suits. The term obviously doesn’t mean actual, physical hearts, since the jar looks to be just a wisp of cloudy shine. It’s more like the ability to love and hate and feel strongly about anything, all bottled in one jar and stolen out of someone. It’s shady shit.

Heedless in Rain Brendon, desperate for a place to live and low on cash, moves into an old apartment above an old bookstore. An old, haunted apartment.

Here Be Dragons “…and it’s exciting to be the first one to do this to him.” Time travel fic.

Here Comes the Sun Ryan likes to sing to his baby girl.

Hi, Brendon Urie Ryan met Brendon on a Monday, kissed him on a Tuesday, broke his heart on a Saturday and fixed it all on a Friday.

Hidden In Plain View Ryan wonders if it’s obvious or if it looks perfectly platonic, a group of friends hanging out, no one suspecting that two of them are something more

Hide the Razors “You shaved your eyebrows off.”

Hiding In Estrogen Brendon comes back to their hotel room and finds a beautiful, tall, lanky woman in high heels and a dress. But then he gets a closer look, and it’s not a woman.

Hints Brendon can read minds.

History-Proven Saftery Songs At some point, they’re going to have to stop buying things.

Hobo Ross Ryan takes Hobo to the vet.

Hold The Pose Brendon takes on a job as a cleaner for published writer, Ryan Ross, in order to fund his college studies. Spencer opens up an Indian style cafe and Jon, as always, is paid to make coffee.

Home Is Where The Heart Is Every year, an elf is sent down to every city to help raise Christmas spirit. This year, Brendon Urie was assigned to Las Vegas, Nevada. More importantly: Ryan Ross.

Honey, I’m Home! Ryan is dating a pussycat doll. As far as Brendon is concerned, that will never, not be funny. (Don’t-cha wish your girlfriend had a dick like B?)

Hot and Spicy Yum Ryan gets turned on by the smell of pizza. When Ryan orders pizza, it’s the new delivery boy, Brendon, who delivers it. Oh. This is kind of like a bad porno.

Hot For A Teacher

Hot Hot Heat So maybe it was weird that they were sitting on Ryan’s double bed in nothing but their boxer briefs and eating cherry popsicles, but they didn’t care. All they knew is it was fucking hot, like the hottest day of summer, and there was no air conditioner or osculating fans and the town was in the middle of a black out. Sequel is The Sinful Burn

House of Wolves Patrick scrubs at his eyes with his icy mittens, because there is no way a freaking wolf is standing in front of him— and sniffing his crotch, Patrick realizes wildly.

How A Resurrection Really Feels After narrowly escaping certain death, fierce, tough and masculine gang members Ryan and Spencer head out to the wilderness to avoid mortal danger (it isn’t Ryan’s fault!), accompanied by a heartless assassin who might turn on them at any second. Then there is the virgin Brendon, who really likes God and girl’s dresses. This fic is hilarious and sweet and sad and angry and well written.

How Did I Fall In Love With You? Bad things happen when Ryan reads fanfiction.

How Far Down Ryan likes his job, and it only gets more interesting when a new customer starts coming in regularly.

How Misery Loved Me Brendon had never seen Ryan cry.

How Naptime Can Go Horribly Right Ryan tries to take a nap until Brendon climbs into bed with him. Naked.

How To Kill A Straight Guy There was no possible way. No completely fathomable way that the human being standing in front of him was a guy.

How To Let The Sky Go Ryan teaches dance, sometimes, to those who aren’t completely incompetent or slow. It’s for these reasons and maybe a few more that he really doesn’t want to teach Brendon Urie how to dance.

Hum Along To The TV Everyone’s got something that they’re trying to quit. Whatever it is, there’s a group for it. Ryan and Brendon are no exception.

I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World Alone Brendon knows noses, Ryan knows how to be stubborn, and Spencer and Jon should know better than to say anything.

I Am the Derivative and You Are the Curves Ryan’s close to flunking and he needs a math tutor. That’s where Brendon comes in.

I Can Be Your Safe Haven (I Got Places You Can Lay Your Head) “Ryan, what’s going on? How did you get those bruises?”

I Can See How Jesus Wept Boarding school. Brendon takes it upon himself to corrupt Ryan’s virgin soul.

I Could Belong To The Night When Ryan’s best friend Spencer dies, he thinks he’s all alone.

I Don’t Even Know Where To Begin

Ryan finds a dog on his front porch.

I Don’t Have A Library Card…But I’d Love To Check You Out. Brendon is close to flunking out of college, and his roommate and partner in crime, Jon, is not helping. He seeks refuge in the school’s library and finds a little more than a place to study. This is a story about finding love, taking chances, and being true to one’s self.

I Fell In Love With a Dead Boy The strangest thing happened on Halloween night.

I Know Something the Piano Doesn’t Know Brendon is uninspired. Sex ensues.

I Know You’ve Got a Wild Streak At sixteen and having been in public school for five months now, it’s hardly Brendon’s first party. But it’s the first where someone’s caught his eye, where he hasn’t just showed up with Ryan and stuck by the older boy’s side until Ryan sat him down on a couch and told him to be careful before disappearing with some mostly drunk girl into someone’s bedroom.

I Love You More Than I Hate Bottles The Young Veins!!! Brendon is a huge fan. Like, a huge fan. And he’s so in love with Ryan Ross. You have no idea.

I Love You Or Something Like That Ryan has to prove himself the Casanova everyone says he is.

I Love You To Death And Beyond Crack! Ryan turns into a zombie, but Brendon loves him too much to let him go! Ryan just wants to eat Brendon’s brain.

I Never Told You What I Do For A Living Brendon and Ryan. Both psychotic murderers.

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Brightly Colored Sex Toy It’s a butt plug, not a chastity belt.

I Spiked Your Cup With Angst And A Heart Attack It’s been three days and my mail has collectively gathered into one massive pile of responsibilities and reminders that life moves on without me.

I Swear I’m Not Folkin’ Around How Brendon wrote Folkin’ Around.

I Thought I Saw You Sometimes the world just isn’t a bright place. Sometimes there’s a reason, sometimes there isn’t. A story about trying to figure out how to live in the world and deal with the life and feelings you’ve been given.

I Thought The thing that Ryan and Brendon start up isn’t supposed to be anything other than a way to relax and unwind, but Brendon isn’t sure that’s what either of them really want.

I Wanna Be the One Brendon wants a baby. Badly. So badly that he would risk friendships to get one.

I Want My Hat Back Patrick wants his hat back. But who has it?

I Want To Hear The Same Song Twice Brendon is a DJ at a gay club, Spencer tends the bar, Jon has the best job title ever and Ryan is… complicated.

I Want To Wake Up Where You Are Panic broke up and Brendon went out on his own, he and Ryan haven’t seen each other for twelve years and Ryan has conflicting feelings when it comes to Brendon.

I Will Never End Up Like Him, Behind My Back I Already Am ”Then why are you still here?”

”Cause I-I’m not really here.”

”Then where are you?” “I am i-infront of you, but I’m not a-alive, Brendon.”

I Will Never Let You Fall When Brendon’s parents decided to adopt a child, they probably thought it would be a lot easier. Aka HoneyChocolate

I Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Brendon finds out how “normal” Panic really is.

I’m All You Want And More

I’m Not The One and Sequel: The Objection of My Affection It’s been two years. Ryan’s in college and he is reunited with Mr. Urie.

I’d Rather Be Rolling Cigars Brendon can suck cock.

I’ll Be At The Cabin For Our Christmas The boys have decided to celebrate their holiday together before heading home for Christmas. They decided to do it in the place it feels the most acceptable, the cabin.

I’ll Be Every Breath Your Trembling Lips Taste Something happens to Brendon and Ryan just wants him to feel better.

I’ll Do Anything For You (No, Really)

Ryan gets sick and Brendon worries.

I’ll Have My Cake (And Eat It Too)

How exactly he ended up being able to hear his friends’ sexual thoughts is still a mystery to him.

I’ll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours

"Have you ever done anything with someone else, Brendon?"

I’m Gone With the Moon, New With the Sun The first time Brendon realizes something is wrong is when he’s 6 years old.

I’m Not the One Mr. Urie is the new English teacher in Ryan’s high school.

If I Go To Hell, It’s Because I’m An Avid Slasher My obsession had started around the time I was a freshman in high school. (It’s really funny just read it.)

If I Never Knew You When Ryan is sent to live with his aunt after his mom gets fed up with his behavior, he is pissed. He never expected to meet a boy who was so different that he could change Ryan’s life forever.

If I Were Stalking You Then I’d Know Your Favorite Cookie Flavor (Oatmeal Raisin, By the Way) Spencer’s a video game addict, Jon’s kind of an ass, Brendon’s in Fall Out Boy and Ryan, uh, well he has a stalker.

If I Were Stalking You Then I’d Know Your Favourite Cookie Flavour (Oatmeal Raisin, By The Way) Spencer’s a video game addict, Jon’s kind of an ass, Brendon’s in Fall Out Boy and Ryan, uh, well he has a stalker.

If the Moon’s a Balloon In which Brendon is an unconventional Christmas tree fairy and Jon is altogether too interfering.

If the Stars Could Sing “I only want love from people who know what love is.”

If This Isn’t The Kingdom Then I Don’t Know What Is It’s been almost a year and a half since the last time that Ryan just showed up like this, and you’d think that Brendon would be surprised, but he’s not.

If You See Me On A Corner Ryan picks up a hustler.

If Your Heart Speaks to Me Mute!Brendon

In Case the Scene Gets Nasty Ryan and Brendon have been at each other’s throats for as long as they can remember. But things start to change. How else are they supposed to spend the long hours of detention together? Sequel: In Case the Scene Stays Nasty.

In My Linen (You Are Skin Again)

All he wants to do is kiss every square inch of Brendon’s body, wants his lips to be as feather light and almost nonexistent as when Brendon is writhing beneath the sheets for that ghosting

In Nobody’s Eyes But Mine Ryan had thought he was immune to the spontaneous little moans and screams Brendon is capable of making from their shows, but it’s just different when they’re all naked.

In Our Family Portrait… Blarie’s story of growing up with Ryan and Brendon as her fathers, and their family album.

In the Event I Lose Myself Brendon and Ryan are obvious soul mates.

In The Sound Brendon quits Panic! At the Disco and becomes a hairdresser, watching from afar as his former friends and band-mates rise to fame. One day, after years of silence, Ryan Ross wanders into his salon and asks for a haircut.

In These Lines

In Your Eyes Beauty Be Found High school with a bit of a weird twist? Brendon has a secret that could, potentially, ruin his life. Naturally, Ryan Ross finds out.

Infinite Sometimes With the help of his friends, Ryan has just learned how to like life. Brendon hasn’t yet found such luck. This is a story about strong relationships, trust, not wanting to be alone, and holding hands. There’s a river, and just like its never-ending path to the ocean, some things just go on forever. Sometimes you need someone more than you need yourself, and sometimes, that’s okay.

Innocence (In a Sense) This is his job, and maybe it’s not the most professional thing to do, but sometimes things have to happen in order to make things right. And if putting criminals behind bars means Brendon has to get a little dirty, then so be it.

Insanity Madeline Michelle Urie could hear the screams of the half dead in the victims in the experiment-morgue room across the hall.

Insomnia Is The Excuse For The Lack Of Something You’ve Never Known Sometimes Ryan wondered why Brendon was so childish.

Intoxicated Circulation Brendon has a couple too many and gets a little bit persistent as to discovering Ryan’s sexual orientation.

Invisible Fences

Iron, Neon Lights & Weed Brendon wants to get a record deal at all costs. He joins the Las Vegas underground music scene, but ends up distracted when he falls for Ryan, a scene king with little interest in attachments.

Irrevocably Combined Where-in Ryan really just needs some time to figure a few things out.

Isn’t This Exactly Where You Want Me? (In an Airplane Bathroom) Ryan and Brendon get on a plane. Ryan and Brendon meet. Ryan and Brendon hold hand holds. Ryan and Brendon sneak off.

It Isn’t Stupid When It’s You

Brendon notices the cameras first, turning away, and Ryan can’t help but mouth ‘I love you’ as he does. He’s sure no one notices.

It Sure As Hell Ain’t Normal, But We Deal Brendon is in a relationship with his ex-teacher.

It Was A Plane Ride Mile high club. Ryan, quite possibly, hated everything imaginable about his job. Co-workers were a bitch, mainly the girls, and pilots were usually an arrogant asshole or nervous wreck. The costumers? Beyond words.

It Was Always You Post-Divorce Cabin Fic. Basically Spencer, Ryan, Jon, and Brendon get back together in the cabin for a week.

It’s Just A Stupid Ring or How Brendon Baggins Saved Middle Ramen

It’s Only A Crime If I Get Caught Ryan is sent to the Urie household for behavior adjustment and scares the living crap out of Brendon. That is, until Brendon realizes Ryan’s not as bad as he first thought.

It’s A Week Before Christmas And I Meet You It’s a week before Christmas and Ryan meets Brendon for the first time.

It’s All Okay When I Say “You and I” This is adorable, seriously. High school with a Christmas Plot. Brendon wants to get Ryan’s attention by being his Secret Santa. The problem is, Ryan is the coolest guy in school, with more people pursuing him than Brendon cares to think about.

It’s Always Cloudy (Except For When You Look Into The Past) Timetravel! Where in a future version of Ryan comes back to tell his younger self that things will get better. Cute!

It’s Good To Be Feeling Ryan knows what he wants.

It’s Hard To Face The Holidays Without For Christmas, Ryan doesn’t get a dog. Spencer gets his train set. Brendon doesn’t get his deck of cards. He also doesn’t get a friend. Christmas 1992-2006.

It’s Just Curiosity So the thing is, Brendon needs Ryan’s dick.

It’s Just Like Flying “Why don’t you own any cool movies?” Brendon inquires, muffled from where his head is inside the TV cabinet.

It’s Just Like Flying Brendon and Ryan are bored.

It’s Not Repression, It’s Denial Ryan and Brendon are not in love. No, seriously, they’re not. Jon is just delusional.

It’s The Mess That Feels So Right …And he’s suddenly confident and knows exactly what to do.

It’s Written on the Wind Beatles/PATD crossover. It’s the Spring of 1967, and the last thing Abbey Road intern Ryan Ross expects, or even wants, is to become instantly attracted to a guy let alone a session musician named Brendon with a bad habit of not knowing when to give up. It would be a very, very bad idea, and Ryan’s determined to avoid it (and him) at all costs. A tale of scarves, Carnaby Street, music, and falling into something rivaling a Burt Bacharach Standard.

Jingle All the Way Brendon is annoying Ryan so Ryan makes him pay in the Christmas way.

July 6th, The Day For The Forgotten. "Exactly two years ago, to this day, you told me you wanted to leave. You said you wanted to leave the band. You said you wanted to leave me." Brendon winces at the thought. "That was the worst day of my life," He says quietly.

Just A Matter Of Time Until We’re All Found Out There was this smoothie shop on the way home; Ryan liked to stop there often but there was this really obnoxious kid always working there now.

Just A Teenage Douchebag, Baby Ryan is determined to have a good day.

Just One of the Girls “Spence, I’m. Look, I’m going to prove this girl-thing to you, okay? I’m going to,” he held up his hands, “this is so brilliant, I’m going to become a girl.”

Just This Once, Be My Savior In which Ryan has a daughter, Brendon has a nephew and somehow, they manage to fall in love.

Part Two

#ryden #ryden fanfiction

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chromexheartsss · 9 months

Text

THIRSTY

pairing : miles 1610 x black! fem! reader

genre: fluff? kinda idk

cw: n-word usage and making out

summary: in which a friends-with-benefits link up turns into something more

a/n: this is my first imagine/fanfic, so this probably isn’t gonna be perfect. The song doesn’t rlly have anything to do with the plot , I just needed a title name and I really love pnd. Will be mentioned in the fic tho , enjoy loves💗

[Name] and Miles have been messing around for a while now. It all started a few months ago when Miles wanted to take their friendship to a different level and be more than just friends. Since [name] wasn't ready for a relationship at the time, she agreed to be friends with benefits. Ever since then, they've had a no strings attached relationship. But miles wanted more.

it was a cool, Friday night, the sun slowly setting. [Name] was laying in her bed watching Netflix, when she soon heard her phone go off. She picked up her phone to see that Miles texted her, asking her to come over.

miles : hey, you busy?

[Name] : no , what’s up

miles : can i come over? I haven’t seen you in a few weeks , I miss you

[Name] : of course , I miss you too. text me when you get here

miles: aight, I’m otw ma.

once she read the last text from miles , she got up and went to her closet to change. She puts on a green sports bra and shorts set , while putting her hair in a ponytail

a few minutes later , miles texts her , letting her know that he’s outside

miles:I’m here ma , come outside.

[Name] : ok , I’m coming now

she quickly slips on her black bubble slides and grabs her phone , walking outside. Once she reaches his car , she opens the door and gets in.

“hey mama” he says , leaning over to kiss [Name] on the cheek. The song “thirsty” by partynextdoor playing softly in the background.

“hey. I haven’t seen you in a few weeks , what you been up to” [name] says , looking over at him. This was true. Miles has been distant from [name] for a few weeks now , no texting nor calling.

“yeah uhm..that’s hard to explain” he says , hesitant to tell her the truth.

“what you mean it’s hard to explain? you seeing someone else?” [name] says , now getting suspicious of him.

“no , no , that’s not what i meant. I just.. can I tell you something?” he asks , making eye contact with her

“of course , you know you can tell me anything”

“well…” he says , pausing his sentence. “I know we decided to keep our relationship status at friends with benefits , but I want something more than that. I want to be the nigga you wake up to everyday. I want to be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved. I want to be able to call you my girl” he says , remaining eye contact

“And yes , I know you’re probably still not ready to be in a relationship but..at least give us a try. I won’t rush you into anything if this isn’t want you want , I just wanted to tell you why I’ve been distant.”

[Name] stays silent for a few seconds , thinking about what he just said. She knew she felt the same way , and she knew that she wanted more than just friends with benefits.

“Miles..I understand what you’re saying , and I’m willing to give us a try”

Miles looks at her with a surprised expression on his face. He didn’t expect her to say yes , but he’s happy that she did.

“wait..you for real? You would really give me a chance?” he asks , now smiling at her

“Yeah , I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and I think I’m ready for a relationship”

without saying another word , he leans over and hugs her , wrapping his arms around her. She hugged back , enjoying his embrace.

“I’m glad to her that ma. I promise , you won’t regret it” he says, now pulling away from the hug , looking at her with lust in his eyes.

he caresses her face softly and pulls her into a kiss. The kiss starts off slow and sensual , but soon got heated. She wrapped her arms around his neck , deepening the kiss. His tongue softly grazed her lips , entering her mouth. His tongue explored every part of her as his hand slid down to her thigh. After a few minutes , they both pull away.

“I love you [name] , and i promise to be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had” he says , pulling her into another kiss

well..that’s not what [name] was expecting but , it was worth it.

*not proofread or spell checked*

a/n:hii , I hoped you enjoyed. I think I did pretty good for my first time. Just letting you know , I will not be active on here a lot in terms of writing. I’m just making these for fun , or when I get really bored and feel like writing. I will try to be active but since school is coming up , I won’t be active a lot in general. that’s all I had to say tho , until next time loves💗

*im not good at writing kiss scenes so the make out part won’t be the best*

#Spotify #miles x reader #miles morales #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #black reader #miles x black reader

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 1 year

Note

hi raven :D! I think you've spoken about twst and languages in their world, so I was wondering if you've ever had a discussion about the possibility of a "merfolk language"? obviously they can speak the universal language of the twst world, but do you think they could have a native language too, consisting of something more adapted to living under the sea and thus more inhuman (clicks, growls, etc)? like one that maybe humans can't even hear because human ears have a limit on what they can hear or something like that? I think it's a fun little headcanon but maybe it's just because I am the type to enjoy blatant inhuman traits in inhuman characters 👉👈 (like azul still being able to barf up ink as a human, and the tweels still have a pharyngeal jaw even after taking their human pills)

On “French” in TWST: part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7

On the light novel’s translation spell: part 1 / part 2 / part 3

Yes, I’ve talked about language in Twisted Wonderland many times ^^ (Please see the linked posts above if you’re interested in the discussion!)

I don’t think we’ve considered a language for merpeople in detail before?? 🤔 It’s a weird grey area (the same as with any theoretical“beastman” languages) since the race is half human and half animal; Animal Languages already exists as their own separate entity, and then we have the various languages of other groups (we learn in Fairy Gala: If that smaller fairies communicate in sounds that resemble jingling bells, people in the City of Flowers speak “French” like Rook does, Epel’s hometown appears to speak its own language that his classmates find difficult to understand, etc). I wonder if this would mean that a merpeople language would be a marriage of an animal language and a human language, or if it would be less of a whole new language and more of a dialect which combines mannerisms and grammatical rules from both sources???

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned or written about “Mermish” in some of my own fics! I usually describe it as very flowy and lyrical, like the words just spill into each other and you don’t know when one word ends and when another starts. Basically, it’s less like speaking and more like music. This version of the language is ingrained in siren lore (you know, singing prettily to lure sailors to their doom 😂) rather than the practical lore (ie the more animalistic sounds to navigate the dark, treacherous waters of the deep), but I enjoy both interpretations and find them equally as valid! I do think that the language would probably be audible to a human though how else would their prey be drawn in???. Humans don’t have the most sensitive hearing ever, but you’d be surprised just how much our ears can sense!

There hasn’t been any indication in the lore (at least as far as I can tell) of there being a whole other language or dialect specifically for merpeople, so the idea is just speculation. I’d think if there were to be any proof of this, then we’d probably hear Azul talk about how beneficial it is to know many languages, as this could help his business flourish. Even a mention from Floyd would work, as he does mention (again, during Beans Day) that he, Jade, and Azul went to a month-long camp on land to learn about life in the world above. There wasn’t a mention of having to pick up on a new language (and a month isn’t long enough to become conversational anyway). In any case, very few merpeople are said to come to the surface (for work, for schooling, etc), so it seems unlikely to me that underwater schools would make the theoretical “common tongue” of Twisted Wonderland an educational requirement for young merkids. I’d think the merkids would have to actively seek out and study the “common tongue” as a second language if they plan to pursue a career on land. But already knowing the language cannot be a prerequisite for the camp, since it is said the program was eager to accept the Octatrio (which makes it sound like getting into it is very easy to do).

So I guess my line of thinking is… If merchildren were required to learn the common tongue, it makes sense why the training camp didn’t include language. However, this doesn’t make much sense to begin with because why have that linguistic curriculum if it’s assumed most merpeople won’t engage with the world of land? In the opposite scenario (in which merchildren aren’t required to learn the common tongue), why wouldn’t there be curriculum on language in the camp? Already knowing the common tongue doesn’t seem to be requirement for the camp, since the lore makes it sound like the camp is desperate to take people in (due to most merpeople not having an interest in living/studying/working on land).

Let me tell you, trying to figure out half human, half fish anatomy and physiology is not how I thought I’d be using my brain cells 😂

#Azul Ashengrotto #Floyd Leech #Tweels #Octavinelle #Jade Leech #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland #notes from the writing raven #question #twst theory #twst theories #twisted wonderland theory #twisted wonderland theories #Epel Felmier #Rook Hunt #spoilers

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supermarvel-fics · 2 years

Text

Nervous

word count: 8,300

pairing: bucky x fem!reader (romantic) and a splash of natasha x reader (platonic)

cw: mild swearing, a bit of sexual tension, sexual innuendos (still sfw though)

summary: You make quick friends with Nat after you move to the city and she introduces you to the avengers. After meeting Bucky, you are at a loss for words.

author's note: this fic is inspired by the song "Nervous" by Shawn Mendes (link to the song below). this one was a lot of fun to write so I left it open for a part 2 if anyone is interested. also, thank you to a sweet anon who sent in this prompt for bucky. just a reminder that I'm always excepting prompts and ideas! love you all!

“Don’t worry,” Natasha said as she led you through the front doors of the compound. “Everyone is going to love you!”

You smiled politely, following her into the lobby. It was bigger than you imagined, but then again, so was everything else. You moved to New York City only a few short weeks ago from your small hometown. A change in pace was exactly what you needed after years of driving along the same streets and seeing the same people day after day.

You met Nat on the second day of your new job. You found it hard to believe that the Avenger’s didn’t have their own massage therapist considering how much distress they put their bodies into, but Nat had told you that Tony wasn’t interested in paying for one due to most of the heroes having magic healing powers or super strength.

You scoffed at that, welcoming her into your practice with open arms. As you worked out her over-tired muscles, the two of you talked about any and everything; where you grew up, how she became a Widow, what it was like to live in a tower full of testosterone.

By the end of her one-hour session, you decided that Nat needed another girl friend to hang out with. Selfishly, so did you since you’d just moved into the city the week prior. You exchanged numbers and have been hanging out almost every weekend since.

Nat had been begging you to come meet the rest of her friends since your second get together and you’d been weary at first. Meeting new people was never your strong suit—it was mostly why your only friend was Nat and one of your other coworkers—but after weeks of her assuring you that they were dying to meet you, you finally agreed.

Nat escorted you out of the elevator and into the kitchen where three of Earths mightiest heroes were eating lunch.

“Guys, hey! This is my massage therapist, Y/N. She just moved here from Michigan,” Nat introduced you. You waved at the boys and let a shy grin grace your features.

“Ah! Yes, the young Widow has spoken a lot about you,” Thor bellowed. “She says you have magic in your fingertips.” He wiggled his fingers for emphasis.

You giggled at him, peeking over at Nat as you caught her covering her eyes with her hand in embarrassment. “Yeah, well not real magic, I assure you, but I can definitely work out some knots.”

“Well, obviously you’re doing an amazing job considering she’s way less tense, now,” Steve jested at the redhead. Nat crossed her arms, swiveling to face the Captain.

“You know what, Rogers, I—”

“So, you have your own practice?” Sam interrupted, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Because I’ve had lower back pain for months and Tony refuses to hire someone to help.”

“So I’ve heard,” You hummed. “It’s not my practice, no, but I work at one just around the block. You’re welcome to come see me anytime!”

“I might just take you up on that,” Sam said and you smiled in response.

“Hey, now! She’s mine! Get your own!” Nat pointed at Sam, narrowing her eyes at him. You chuckled and grabbed onto her forearm, pulling her arm back down to her side.

“There’s plenty of me to go around, Nat. Besides, you get most of my time off the clock, anyway. I need to make some money here and there,” You winked at Sam who let out a bark of a laugh.

“I like her. Let’s keep her around.”

Again, a sheepish smile returned to your face and a blush fell onto your cheeks. You and Nat said your goodbyes and made your way down the hall and into the common room where Wanda and Vision were watching a movie. You all chatted for a moment, finding joy in the love that the witch and the android had for one another.

Nat and Wanda concurred that the three of you needed a girls day and before departing, you seemingly had a new friend.

“See? I told you everyone was going to like you,” Nat assured you once you left the common area. You let a breathy laugh come through your nose and nodded.

“I guess I just thought I’d feel more out of place,” You shrugged. “You guys save the world from impending doom and I’m just me.”

“Uh, you saved me from impending doom after you fixed my shoulder that one time. Don’t dote on yourself. We’re people just like you,” Nat nudged your arm with her elbow and you snickered, rolling your eyes.

“Right… people with magic powers, iron suits, super strength, and extreme combat training.”

“Look, if you’re so worried about not fitting in, come with me to the gym,” she declared, quickly switching hallways to change route. “I’ll teach you some basic defensive skills that everyone needs to know—especially since we live in the city.”

“Woah, woah, wait, Nat!” You called, shuffling your feet faster to catch up with her. “I don’t know about that! I’m not even dressed for a workout!” You gestured to your clothes. Nat peered over, noticing you were in jeans and a nice blouse.

“Alright, fine. Another time, then,” She waved her hand in the air. “But we’re still going to—”

The rest of her sentence was lost when she pushed the gym door open with vigor and almost immediately, your breathing hitched at the sight of a man with a metal arm taking a few hits at a bag hanging from the ceiling.

You couldn’t describe the emotions you were currently feeling. You’d been in love once. Years ago, fresh out of college, but it never felt like this. Your chest was on fire and it spread up into your cheeks. Your throat was a bit tight and you were sure if you took one more step, your knees would buckle from underneath you.

But this wasn’t love, right? Love at first sight didn’t actually exist… right?

“James!” Nat shouted at the handsome man from across the gym, pulling you from your trance. Your lips tugged themselves into an unwilling smile as he continued throwing punches while answering Nat.

“It’s Bucky, Nat! You know I hate it when you call me James,” the man corrected, keeping his focus on the bag. You eyed him intently; taking notice of how much stronger his left hook was from his right.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Nat said dismissively before turning her head back to you. “This is James ‘Bucky’ Barnes,” She yelled his real name louder to grab his attention, “Buck, this is Y/N.”

Bucky finally ceased his workout, lifting his eyes over to where you were standing and God, if that didn’t make you want to melt right onto the floor. He smiled sweetly at you, giving you a once over.

“That’s a beautiful name,” Bucky stated matter-of-factly and if you didn’t believe it before, then you certainly did now. “What brings you here?”

You struggled to find the words you were looking for as he wiped the sweat from his forehead, causing Nat to look at you wearily.

“She’s, uh, my massage therapist. I wanted her to meet everyone,” She muttered while giving you a confused look. She must have noticed the blush forming on your cheeks and how closed off you seemed compared to when you were meeting the others.

“Oh, are you coming to work here?” the devilishly handsome sergeant asked. You sucked in a large breath, praying that the words you were thinking would actually come out this time.

“I, uh, n-no actually I, um…” you stammered before turning to Nat. She obviously got your hint.

“No, she’s not. You know Stark thinks it’s a waste of money considering the majority of you rarely ever get hurt.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t get sore from time to time,” Bucky argued. Nat held her hands up in defense.

“Don’t complain to me! If you want her here, go talk to Tony,” the redhead pointed in your direction which made Bucky look back over at you, another grin finding its way to his lips. You followed suit and giggled quietly.

“Well, regardless, it’s nice to meet you,” Bucky chuckled. “I think I may just have to write a strongly worded letter to Stark about getting you to join us, but until then, I’ll see you around?”

You nodded fervently, biting your bottom lip. “Y-yeah, I’ll be, uh, around.”

“Good.”

You and Nat waved goodbye to him, letting him resume his workout, and rushed out of the gym hurriedly. Once you were out of sight from the winter soldier, you dramatically let your back hit the wall, dropping your head into your hands.

“Oh, my God, that was so embarrassing!” You groaned. Nat laughed and pushed your shoulder playfully.

“What happened to you? You went all goo-goo eyes on him!” She teased you.

You whimpered, letting your hands fall back down to your sides and leaning your head back against the concrete wall. “I don’t know! I took one look at him and my brain just stopped functioning.”

“Oh, you like him!” Nat smirked and poked you in the stomach, causing you to flinch away from her with a small yelp.

“Ah! Nat!” You swatted her hand away. “How can I like him? I don’t even know him.”

“You don’t need to know him to have a crush on him. That’s like, the first rule of having a crush,” She explained to you. You scoffed and twisted away, continuing to walk down the hall. “Admit you like Bucky!”

“Well, I don’t!” You yelled out as you continued down the corridor. “Besides, we’re not in high school. I shouldn’t have to admit anything.”

Nat huffed, as if it pained her to do what she was about to do, and scurried up behind you to latch her hands onto your sides, squeezing them ticklishly. You didn’t even have the wherewithal to support your own weight considering you didn’t see it coming. You yelped, holding your arms close to your waist to block her fingers and sank to the floor.

“Nahahat! Whahat the hehehell?” You said through your giggles.

Nat clicked her tongue. “It’s plain as day that you like him, so just admit it and I’ll stop!”

You jolted and attempted to squirm away once she moved her hands up to your ribs, but you knew it was a fruitless endeavor—you’d never be able to escape the Widow.

“If yohou alreheheady knoHOW, then whyhy do I neheheed to say it?” You squeaked, mostly from how Nat’s nimble fingers prodded into your sensitive ribcage, but also from embarrassment. She laughed along with you, delighted in how a simple pinch could almost incapacitate you.

“Because once you say it, I’ll have confirmation and can set you two up on a date!”

“WHAHAT? NO WAHAHAY!” Your laughter and voice pitched up as Nat’s thumbs drove into that wretched spot along the backs of your ribs. She found that spot fairly quickly at the beginning of your friendship. She asked if she could give you a massage since you do it so well for others. You were a bit reluctant, but she did ultimately convince you after kneading into your shoulder for a second or two.

As she moved down your back, you immediately realized why you never let people massage you because the second that Nat moved below your shoulder blades, bracing her first four fingers on your sides and circling her thumbs into the ribs next to your spine, you lost it. What started as a massage turned into a tickle attack from your brand-new friend.

And she never let you live it down. Nat wasn’t opposed to tickling you if you said some cheeky remark at her expense or if you changed the channel while she was watching one of her favorite shows. She always had the upper hand because she, herself, wasn’t ticklish. At all. So, it wasn’t like you could retaliate. You just had to sit there and take it.

“Come on, all you have to do is—”

“OKAY! OKAHAHAY! I LIHIKE HIM, P-PLEHEHEASE NOHOT THERE!” You screamed in laughter. Nat let up, chuckling as you attempted to catch your breath.

“See? Was that so hard?” She taunted you. You glared up at her, then grabbed the hand she was holding out for you to stand up. You unwrinkled your clothes and giggled at the absurdity of it all.

“God, I feel like I’m a teenager again,” You complained. “I haven’t felt like that in years and honestly, I’m still not sure why I had such a hard time talking to him!”

“Bucky has that effect on people. I think it’s that old 1940s charm he’s got going on,” Nat shrugged, leading you two back down the hallway to the lab where Tony and Bruce were sure to be working on something.

You thought about that for a moment—Bucky’s way of making you weak in the knees—but it had nothing to do with what time period he was from. You certainly didn’t fall for Steve Rogers when you looked him in the eye. No, it was something else.

Maybe it was how kind he was considering his past. It was hard to believe that a man that sweet could have murdered people in cold blood. Or maybe it was because of his muscles. No, definitely not. Your eyes didn’t fall to Thor’s bulky exterior when you met him.

Maybe it was just Bucky’s essence. The way he carried himself and the way he joked with Nat. You were racking your head for a thousand reasons as to why you acted the way you did in front of him and Nat noticed once she said your name 3 times without an answer.

“Hey,” She voiced softly, turning to you with her hand on your upper arm. “You don’t have to have a specific reason as to why you like Bucky. Sometimes, humans are just really good-looking and it catches you off guard. You think he’s cute and I think he thinks you are, too.”

You covered your face in flustered awkwardness and grunted. “There’s no way he thinks I’m cute after that disaster of a conversation I just had. It wasn’t even a full-fledged conversation. I think I only said 5 words!”

“After spending years with these boys, I know their facial expressions inside and out. Bucky likes you.”

“Okay, fine, whatever, just…” you trailed off, grabbing Nat’s forearm with urgency, “don’t tell him I like him. I want to get to know him first.”

Nat chortled and nodded. “You have my word, but it’s not really like I need to say anything. If Bucky didn’t catch that you wanted to marry him on the spot, then he’s an idiot.”

You snatched your hand away from her, jaw agape and shoved her arm. “Shut up! You know what, I’m done talking to you about this!” You continued marching down the hall, leaving Nat snickering behind you.

You met the other habitants of the tower with no problem—which, of course, Nat teased you for later—and ultimately felt welcome in the band of heroes. You found an unlikely friend in Loki. He was unsure at first—an outsider coming to make friends with a bunch of superheroes wasn’t very common—but once you made a joke about his brother, he laughed and said that he was delighted to have someone with a sense of humor hanging around.

After you left the compound, the only thing circling your mind was Bucky. It was like he mentally took you hostage because all you could think about was his welcoming smile and entrancing blue eyes. It caught you at the most importune times, too. One minute, you’d be talking to a client, and the next you’d remember how Bucky told you that you had a beautiful name, causing you to blush.

You wouldn’t say you were trying to forget about him, but damn, it was hard to focus on anything else but him.

That’s why you were so relieved when Nat called a few days later with good news.

“Bucky asked me about you,” She sang through the phone. You internally panicked for a moment, your heartrate increasing and heat pricking at your face.

“You’re kidding! What did you say? You didn’t say anything bad, did you? Oh, God, I don’t want to know!” You spoke in quick succession.

“Woah, hey, calm down there, sea-biscuit! I didn’t tell him anything other than what he asked.”

You waited for her to elaborate in excruciating silence for a few seconds. “…And what did he ask?”

“Oh, just if I’d be bringing you over more often. He was basically drooling at the mouth when I told him yes. I told you he liked you!”

It took everything in you not to squeal in excitement. “I know we sound like 16-year-old girls at a sleepover gossiping about boys, but I don’t care. I am so happy.”

“I never had that experience, so I’m glad to be doing it with you now as a grown adult,” Nat laughed. “You coming over tomorrow, then?”

You took a quick peek over at the planner on your desk. “I have a bit of work to do in the morning, but I can probably swing by around noon. Just don’t make a big deal out of it, okay? I’m nervous enough around him as it is.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you later.”

The next day, a beautiful Sunday morning, you ventured to the coffee shop around the corner from your apartment to do your work instead of at your drab desk. It was certainly out of the ordinary for you, but fresh air and a nice iced coffee might do you good as you filled out and filed patient reports.

The change in scenery helped you work tremendously better than if you were in your own office. At this rate, you’d be done before the sun was high in the sky, getting you that much closer to seeing Bucky again.

It fueled you. You sped through the paperwork, though you made sure they were completed correctly, and sent them to your boss through email.

Just as you were about to pack up to leave, the bell on the front door to the café rang again. It was a nasty habit you had—looking up every time it sounded to see who was walking through the door. You supposed it had something to do with the way you loved to people watch, but it was distracting when you were desperately trying to get work done on a busy morning.

You gazed up, as you always did, then went back to putting your laptop away, but something in your mind told you to do a double-take.

And what you didn’t expect was to see Bucky himself walk through the door. Nor did you prepare for the utter fear you’d feel when he looked straight at you, too.

Almost instantly, your heartbeat sped up as if it were signaling the end of an intense workout. Bucky recognized you, sporting a giddy smile as he got in line to order. You returned it, albeit more reserved, and attempted to put your attention back on gathering your belongings.

Your head tilted down to hide the severe burning in your cheeks, but nothing could conceal the fact that your hands were shaking vigorously, making it extremely difficult to contain a grip on your laptop so you’d be able to stow it away.

You wrung your hands out and scolded yourself for acting this way. It’s just a guy. A guy who might like you back, but it’s just a guy.

This wasn’t how you planned on reuniting with him. You expected Nat to be at your side as a buffer and possibly as a translator considering how well your last conversation went. But here he was, making his way over to your table after he’d ordered his drink.

“Funny meeting you here,” Bucky grinned. “Is this seat taken?”

Your eyes shifted from him to the chair in front of you, then back to him. You bit the inner corner of your bottom lip and shook your head. “No. You can sit.”

Nice. A full sentence without stuttering.

Bucky slid the chair out and gracefully sat down, leaning back to get a better look at you. “So, are you a frequent café flyer?”

You cleared your throat, hoping to sound more confident than you felt. “Uh, no, actually. This is my first time here. A-Are you?”

“Yeah, I come here almost every morning after my jog around the block,” He said before standing up to retrieve his coffee as the barista said his name. As he walked away, you had to force yourself to calm down so that when he returned, you’d be cool as a cucumber.

Bucky graciously grabbed his coffee and made his way back over to your table. “Anyway, I didn’t mean to interrupt whatever it was you were doing. I just saw a familiar face and thought I’d come and say hi. I don’t talk to very many people outside of the Avengers.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine!” You quickly reassured him, lest he think you didn’t want him joining you. “I just finished before you walked in. I was actually, uh, g-going to head to the c-compound after dropping off my stuff.”

Bucky’s eyes noticeably brightened and his smile, well, you weren’t sure if it could get any bigger. It set a flame to your heart; having a semi-mutual understanding that the two of you were interested in each other without having to say anything.

“Back again already, hm?” He voiced lowly prior to taking a sip of his coffee. You could tell he was teasing you, causing a breathy laugh to come through your nose.

“Yeah, well, don’t let it go to your head, but you guys are pretty interesting.”

“And what is it that makes us so interesting?” Bucky raised an eyebrow. You mimicked him.

“Are you just asking me to c-compliment you?” You asked, stuttering the slightest amount at how Bucky was flustering you. He giggled a bit, and it delighted you how melodic the sound was.

“I’m only asking what you see in us as an outsider looking in. Getting a compliment is simply a bonus,” Bucky shrugged, a hint of a smirk at his lips. The more the two of you talked, the less nervous you felt, which was a success in your eyes. It was as if the adrenaline finally kicked in, so you decided to match his cheeky behavior.

“What? Is being born in the early 1900s and having a vibranium metal arm made by possibly the smartest person in the world not interesting enough for you?”

Bucky let out a genuine laugh this time, nose scrunch and all. You thought it only happened in movies, but your stomach fluttered with butterflies at the sound and sight. It was exceedingly cliché, though it was warming to know that love was being depicted correctly in the cheesy romantic comedies you’d watched.

Love. Was it love? You were weary of putting a label on the way you felt about Bucky so soon since this was only the second time you’d laid eyes on him. It didn’t seem right to say you were in love with someone you’d just met, even if ‘love at first sight’ was real.

But love was a social construct. Different people are enveloped in it in different ways. Before Bucky, you were sure that you loved your last boyfriend, but the way he made you feel seemed so bland compared to how your face set aflame just by the sight of handsome super soldier.

Maybe you’d never truly know. It’s hard to have an understanding of what true love feels like if you’ve only dated 1 person in your life.

“You’re funny. I like you,” Bucky nodded in approval. You weren’t sure of the implications of what he just said, though it honestly didn’t matter—your hands began to tremble violently again as the weight of it dwelled on you. You fiddled with your fingers under the table, out of sight, and half-grinned.

“Y-You’re not too b-bad yourself,” a light chuckle rumbled through you. “Well, uh, I’m going to head home and drop m-my stuff off, so, um, I’ll see you back at the t-tower?”

Bucky furrowed his brows ever so slightly before looking out of the window at the darkening sky. “May I walk you home?” He asked. Your eyes widened into genuine surprise at the question. “It’s just… it’s about to rain and it would be rude of me to let a lady walk home in weather like this by herself.” A sheepish expression found its way to Bucky’s face at the way yours seemed to lose all its color. “I don’t mean to intrude or anything. You can absolutely decline, I just—”

“N-no, you’re not intruding at all! I appreciate the offer, really, but I’d hate to ask that of you since neither of us have umbrellas and sorry if this makes me sound really dumb, but, like, won’t your metal arm get rusty… or something?” You rambled.

Bucky had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing at you. “Uh, no, my arm would be just fine. Plus, you didn’t ask, I insisted, but like I said, if I’m overstepping my boundaries, I apologize.”

You took a moment to gaze out of the window, too. It was dark, but you only lived a couple blocks away. Maybe you could make it home without getting soaked. After all, Bucky’s offer was just too good to pass up. It would give you a little more time alone with him.

“You’re definitely not overstepping. You’re…” You trailed off looking for the right word, “…very sweet. If you’d like to, I wouldn’t say no.”

You stood from your seat and grabbed onto your belongings, grinning shyly as Bucky took your empty coffee cup and tossed it in the trash for you. What a gentleman, you thought.

He held out his hand gesturing for you to lead the way, only proving your thoughts correct, and followed you out the door and onto the busy New York City street.

“My apartment isn’t too far from here,” You said over the bustle of cars and pedestrians. “If we hurry, we might be able to make it.” Just as you finished your sentence, you felt a raindrop fall onto your forehead. You flinched before wiping it away, scoffing at the irony. “Okay, maybe not.”

Bucky snickered and began to walk faster, urging you to do the same. “This is the last time I leave the house without an umbrella.”

Just as the two of you hit a crosswalk, having to wait at the corner due to the traffic, the rain’s pace picked up. A sprinkle quickly morphed into a light drizzle. You looked up at Bucky with slight panic and you were surprised to see that he was already looking down at you. Your face caused him to let out a snort, which in turn made you giggle as well.

Once the street was clear of vehicles, you and Bucky power-walked across and before you could even reach the other side, it started pouring.

“Shit!” Bucky hissed, ducking his head as if it would protect him.

“Come on!” You shouted prior to sprinting down the sidewalk. Bucky was hot on your heels, though you were positive he could have raced passed you without a second thought. Still, he let you lead the way back to your place, keeping a steady jogging pace behind you.

You found this whole fiasco to be a bit childish, thus making you fall into laughter as you raced an Avenger down the street. Within a couple of minutes, you were at the revolving door to your apartment complex.

“Go,” Bucky nodded to the entrance. “I’ll wait right here for you.”

Your eyes shot open and you shook your head aggressively. “What? No, I’m not letting you stay out here! Come inside.”

You didn’t care of the possible implications this time around. You’d never make him wait outside in the rain for you.

“Seriously, I’m fine right here. I—”

“I’m not taking no for an answer, Bucky,” You said, playfully glaring at him. “We’re wasting precious time standing outside bickering like children. We can throw your clothes in the dryer.”

“And what do you suppose I wear in the meantime?” Bucky smirked at you. You were damn lucky that the rain had made it difficult to see because your cheeks set on fire at his comment.

“I-I have s-some of m-my dad’s shirts here and… uh, s-sorry. I didn’t m-mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Doll, it’s okay. I was joking. If you’re adamant about me coming in, I certainly wouldn’t mind,” He comforted you, placing a firm, yet gentle hand on your shoulder. You swore your heart skipped a beat at the cute pet name that rolled off his tongue. Pulling yourself together, you nodded and tilted your head towards the door, silently asking him to follow you.

The elevator ride up to the 6th floor was agonizingly quiet. You just invited the man who you’d been crushing on for days into your apartment. That reality hit you like a truck. What had gotten into you? How were you so timid in front of him one minute, only to be extremely forward the next?

You supposed it had to do with the fact that you had hints of Bucky liking you, too, though it was unspoken. Knowing that he might feel the same way you do—a mutual connection of sorts—helped you feel a little more comfortable around him.

You rounded the corner once the elevator doors opened and Bucky followed behind you; footsteps echoing in the silent hallway.

“Sorry about the mess in advance,” You finally spoke, digging through your purse for your keys. “I just moved in a couple months ago, so I’m still trying to unpack everything.”

Bucky chuckled. “I feel like anyone who says that doesn’t actually have a messy house. I’m sure it’s fine!”

The pair of you halted at your front door so that you could unlock it. You cleared your throat before swinging it open and stepping inside, becoming somewhat embarrassed about the dozens of boxes scattered around the living room and kitchen.

Your apartment was small, but still one of the bigger ones in the city. It was only a one bed, one and a half bath, but you had a killer view of the skyline and the architecture was admirable. It was hard to pass up after you toured it with the landlord.

You dared to take a peek at Bucky’s face once he crossed the threshold into your dumpster fire, cringing at how wide his eyes were. “I told you so.”

He snapped his head to look at you, smiling sympathetically. “Okay, yes, it’s messy, but it’s definitely not the worst I’ve seen. Besides, you just moved in. You have an excuse. Sam moved into the tower almost a year ago and his room still looks like this.”

You giggled at the jab, shaking your head as you kicked a cardboard box away from your path.

“I brought a couple of my dad’s t-shirts with me that I think might fit you,” You muttered, stumbling away from him to search for the box titled ‘miscellaneous’. “And I have this pair of sweatpants that are just way too big for me that also might fit. Honestly I don’t even know where they came from, so if they do fit you can have them.” You dug through the box on your left, shouting with victory as you pulled out a large black t-shirt and the pair of grey sweats that you referred to. “Aha! Here, you can change into this and I can throw your stuff in the dryer.”

You held out the clothing to Bucky, who was staring at you fondly. You retracted back into yourself as you noticed. “Sorry, I ramble when I’m nervous.”

Bucky grabbed the clothes from your clutch and tilted his head. “Why are you nervous?”

“Well, uh, I don’t really make it a habit to invite men into my apartment and ask them to undress. Especially if I’ve only known them for a couple of days,” You said sheepishly, ducking your head to avert your gaze to the ground so that Bucky wouldn’t be able to notice the pink tint to your face.

“Well, I think it’s endearing,” He replied. “Thank you for your kind hospitality.”

“You’re welcome,” You uttered, biting your lip to stop yourself from smiling too overenthusiastically. “The bathroom is, um, down the hall t-to your right.”

Bucky nodded and disappeared down the dark hallway. You watched as he retreated out of sight, then let out a giant breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. My God, you thought. How in the hell was this happening to you?

You assumed you would have a nice coffee and then go to the tower to hang out with everyone in a group setting, but somehow the universe aligned in just the right way so that you could get some alone time with Bucky. Natasha would be proud.

You scurried into your room to change as well, tossing your damp clothes into the hamper and switching to something more comfortable; a loose fitted tee and black leggings. Reaching for your phone, you called Nat to let her know that you would no longer be coming over.

“Hey!” She answered brightly. “Where are you? I thought you said you’d come over around noon.”

“Yeah, uh, change of plans. I’m not coming over,” You responded, feigning disappointment. You heard Nat sigh from the other line.

“Why not? Is it because of Bucky? I told you that he likes you, so I don’t know why you’re so scared to talk to him.”

“Well, I—”

“Seriously, you just have to buck up and tell him or something…”

“Nat.”

“…because if I have to sit here and watch you two pine for each other when it’s obvious that you like him and he likes you, I will lose my mind.”

“NAT!”

“What?”

Silence fell upon the call for a moment, letting the anticipation build for a bit of dramatic effect. You lowered your voice to a whisper before speaking. “I’m not coming because Bucky is here at my apartment.”

Nat immediately gasped. “Shut up! I knew you liked him, but I didn’t think it was that much. Holy shit, you barely know the guy!”

“Nat! That is NOT why he’s here and you know it!”

She laughed at your expense. “Yeah, I know. I just wanted to see what you’d say. But why is he there?”

“I was doing my work at a coffee shop this morning and he walked in just as I was about to leave. We talked for a minute, then he walked me home. End of story.”

“So, you’re staying there, then?”

“I mean… I’d rather spend time with him alone so I can get to know him better, so, yes.”

“Alright, well don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Nat said with a teasing lilt to her voice. You rolled your eyes even though she wasn’t able to see.

“Goodbye, Nat.” You knew she’d hear the smile in your voice, so you hung up before she could say anything else back. Remembering you had a guest, who was probably waiting outside for you, you shuffled out back into the living room.

Your focus effortlessly fell onto Bucky, sitting patiently on the arm of your couch. You were unsure as to why, but he looked 10 times better than he did before, causing your face to heat up, yet again.

“S-Sorry I took so long. I had to call Nat really quick,” You explained before taking his wet clothes and heading over to your dryer. Bucky’s gaze followed you, a grin on his lips.

“I mean, you did leave me sitting out here for an awfully long time, but I suppose all is forgiven since you’re doing my laundry for me,” He chuckled. “Thank you, by the way.”

You set the timer for 30 minutes and strolled back over to him. “It’s no problem, really.”

“I’ve got to make it up to you somehow,” Bucky pondered. “I can’t cook, so that’s out of the question. It’s raining, so I can’t take you anywhere…”

“Bucky, it’s fine,” You giggled, coming to sit next to him on your couch. “I don’t need compensation or anything.”

“How about a movie?” He declared, ignoring your protests. You sighed, though with an unwilling grin on your lips, and raised your eyebrows.

“You’re not gonna give up on this, are you?”

“Not a chance,” Bucky quipped back, smirking. “You pick the movie and I am simply just here to enjoy it with you.”

Tearing you gaze away from him, you twisted your head to look at the television. You suppose it would be fair. Besides, you were totally counting this as a date.

“Okay, fine, I guess I’ll agree,” You said, patting the couch cushion next to you. Bucky rounded the couch and took his seat with a shit-eating grin on his face. You shook your head at the sight of it, swiveling so your back was resting against the arm of the couch and your feet were directly next to Bucky’s legs.

You selected a movie you thought you’d both enjoy—a cheesy romantic comedy—and settled into the couch.

You tried to pay attention to the film, really, you did, but as it went on and the silence between the pair of you grew louder, it was hard not to drown in your thoughts. Why did you choose this movie? You could have picked any movie on Netflix and you chose the one about a woman falling in love with a stranger. Was there a possibility that your subconscious selected it knowing that was exactly the position you were in?

Is Bucky wondering about the implications of this movie, too? He’d be a fool not to, right? God, what you’d give to have a peek inside his mind right now. He was probably weirded out by the fact that your feet were right next to him. Why did you sit like this? You could switch positions, but then that would definitely turn his attention back to you. You could—

“You’re doing it again,” Bucky spoke in a low, gravelly voice. You head whipped up and your eyes locked onto his, giving him a quizzical look. “You’re in your head making yourself nervous.”

You groaned almost inaudibly, biting the inside of your cheek. “Was it that obvious?”

“You weren’t even looking at the TV and you were fiddling with your fingers in your lap,” He stared at you sympathetically before reaching for the remote on the coffee table to pause the movie. “What’s got you so edgy?”

You thought about lying to him. It would certainly be easier, but how could you form a true bond based on lies?

“I don’t know, I just…” you let out a breath and shrugged, “…this isn’t normal for me. Normally, I’m more confident and I don’t give a rats ass what people think, but with you… I don’t know, you just make me nervous.”

“So, if I’m understanding right, you’re timid around me because you care of what I think about you…” Bucky clarified. You nodded shyly, going back to picking at the skin around your thumb. “Well, here’s what I think about you…”

“Oh, no, Bucky, that’s not what I—”

“Shh! I won’t take no for an answer,” He used your words against you, holding up his finger to stop you from interrupting. “You’re kind. One of the kindest human beings I’ve ever met, actually. I mean, who just lets a strange man into their apartment so that she can dry his clothes for him?”

“You’re not strange,” You laughed at his self-deprecating dig.

“You’re also funny. I’m stone cold sometimes, so it’s hard to make me laugh, but somehow you do it. I think part of it is the whole sheepish demeanor you have, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

You blushed for the millionth time and moved your head so he wouldn’t be able to see it as clearly as he would if you continued staring at him.

“I love your sense of style, too. Seriously, your socks are so cute! I love the little cherries,” Bucky joked, scratching at the fruit on the top of your foot with one finger. You spluttered a bit, covering that foot with the other to stop the ticklish sensation. Bucky quickly did it again, this time with all 5 fingers. You giggled and pulled both feet closer to yourself, heat creeping up your neck at the fact that the man you had a serious crush on now knew you were ticklish.

And by the devious look in his eyes, you could tell he was about to exploit it.

“And lastly,” Bucky said, gripping one of your ankles with his metal arm and tugging it towards him, “I love how ticklish you are!”

“No! Buhucky, WaHAHAIT!” You screeched as his fingers descended down onto your arch. You attempted to pull it from his vibranium grip with all your might, but it obviously didn’t work. “Nohoho fair! Yohou have suhuhuper strength!”

Bucky smiled at how your laughter pitched up once he got closer to the ball of your foot, so he refocused all his efforts there. “I think it’s very fair. This is definitely getting you out of your head!”

“Yohou jeHERK! NAHAHA!” Your struggle became more frantic as his fingers scribbled just underneath your toes. You hit the cushion of the couch to signal your need for air because words were definitely not easy to come by through your laughter.

Bucky relented immediately, releasing your ankle and twisting his body to face you. “Are you no longer nervous?”

You curled into yourself as you sent him a malicious glare, though it was absolutely non-threatening with a ticklish grin still on your face.

“Noho! Because now you know my secret and I’ll never live it down!” You shouted playfully. “Honestly, I do your laundry and this is the thanks I get?”

Bucky smirked. “Doll, I figured out this secret on the day we met. Now, where was that spot Nat got you that had you screaming, huh?” He lunged forward, latching his hands onto your thighs, squeezing them between his thumb and forefinger.

You gasped prior to letting out a squeak and falling into howling laughter. You batted your hands against his to push him away. “You wehehere lihistening?”

Bucky pinched his way up higher, hoping to find that weak spot on your hips. “Well, I mean it’s kind of hard to focus when there’s a tickle fight going on right outside the door,” He teased you, digging his thumbs into your hip bones. You squirmed underneath him, even though it was pointless. You weren’t getting out of this until Bucky decided to let you.

The ticklish shocks sent you into a state of euphoria, which was possibly why you didn’t immediately freak out at the fact that Bucky heard everything you said, meaning that he heard you say—or rather scream—that you liked him.

“Hmm, still not this one,” He commented, switching techniques as his hands found your belly, lighting scratching at the place between your side and navel. Your hands grabbed his wrists, but you made no serious moves to push him away. It wasn’t exceedingly unbearable and to be perfectly honest, you didn’t mind his hands all over you, tickling you senseless.

“Yohou’re nohohot gonna fihind it!” You taunted him back. He paused his attack and stared at you incredulously, baffled by the fact that you had the guts to be cheeky with him in such a precarious position. You took this second of reprieve to catch your breath, knowing he was nowhere near done with you.

“And what makes you think that?” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not that ordinary of a place to be ticklish, I guess,” You shrugged, a self-satisfying smirk on your face. Bucky scoffed and laid his hands flat across your abdomen.

“Alright, here’s a deal. If I find it within the next 2 minutes, I get a dare. If I don’t, you get a dare,” He bargained. You took a second to wager your options. You were right; your weak spot wasn’t all too common, so you were a bit confident that you’d win this little game. The only question on your mind was ‘what is his angle here?’

“You want me to endure two whole minutes of torture just so you can dare me to do something?” You interrogated the soldier.

“Yes, but I promise to make my dare really good,” He winked. You locked eyes with him and saw the sincerity behind the playfulness. He was waiting for consent. He wouldn’t continue to seek out your weak spot without permission, which you found to be extremely sexy, because there’s nothing hotter than a man who respects boundaries.

How bad could it be, anyway?

“Fine, but just be prepared to lose, Barnes.”

Without responding, Bucky dove right back into tickling your belly, fluttering his fingers around the sensitive places that made your skin crawl. You fell back into giggles, thankful that he didn’t want to incapacitate you within the first few seconds.

Once he had his fun watching you squirm, he shot his hands up to the front of your ribs, causing you to jolt violently. All of your ribs were pretty ticklish, but some more than others.

“Ooh, did I find it already?” He asked teasingly, splaying his fingers wider and digging into the crevices of the bones. You screeched and clamped your elbows to your sides, hoping to block him.

“NOHOHOPE!” You yelled.

“How do I know you’re not lying?”

“TRUHUST ME! YOHOU’LL KNOHOHOW IF YOU FIHIND IT!”

Bellowing laughter ripped through you as Bucky pinched at your ribs. He was getting warm, but not warm enough, because he finally moved targets and slid his fingers into the hollows under your arms. The feeling of it caused you to yelp in surprise, but your cackles turned into belly laughter.

“Damn it,” Bucky hissed in frustration.

“Fohorty five seheconds,” You provoked him. He growled before jamming his thumbs into your upper ribs so that the rest of his fingers could wiggle against your back. “AHHHAHA!”

You pressed yourself farther into the couch cushions, hoping to stop his torturous fingers, but you only made it worse for yourself. His hands were trapped at the wretched spot now.

“Oh-ho-ho, what do we have here?” Bucky chuckled deviously, gliding his hands down an inch lower, making you jolt one last time before falling into silent laughter. “I win.”

You weakly swatted at his arms to get him to stop and he did without hesitation. He pulled his hands out from underneath you, grinning at you fondly. You hiccoughed a few times, still giggling intermittently, and covered your face with your hands to hide your utter embarrassment.

“You’re absolutely right, that is a very strange place to be ticklish,” Bucky stated once you calmed yourself. You groaned and he laughed at you. “That was very cute.”

“Shut up,” You snapped at him without any bite. “Go on, give me your dare.” You straightened yourself to sit upright on the sofa, waiting for the inevitable humiliating task.

You bit your lips in anticipation, suddenly very aware of how Bucky was looking at you.

“I dare you to kiss me,” He announced without an ounce of hesitation. It was matter-of-fact. He wasn’t asking, he was almost demanding, but you knew he wouldn’t force you to. “That day we met, I heard you and Nat in the hallway talking… and laughing. I heard you say that you liked me. Honestly, it was such a relief because I thought I was crazy for having those same feelings for you the second I laid eyes on you. So, I dare you to kiss me.”

Your breathing hitched in your throat, much like how it did that day in the gym. It was his confession back to you. It left you no doubt in your mind that he felt the same mutual connection. Then, your lips twisted into a smile as you leant forward to press a kiss to his.

Your skin automatically felt 10 degrees warmer than it had been a second ago as Bucky’s hand rested on the side of your face. You sighed happily into his mouth, relishing in this moment because God, how was this your life.

Bucky drew back once he’d had his fill and stroked his thumb across your cheekbone. “You’re so beautiful,” He whispered.

You drank the compliment as if it were a cup of cold water on a hot day; savoring it in every way possible. You brought your hand to rest on top of his and half-smiled.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” You blinked, waiting for his answer.

Bucky was quiet for a moment, gazing admiringly into your eyes. “Before the day I met you, I would have said no.” He surged towards you, kissing you passionately once more, then pulled back to finish what he was saying. “But it definitely exists.”

“I think so, too,” You replied in a hushed voice. You pulled his hand away from your face, placing a small peck onto his palm before interlocking your fingers with his.

There would be days were you still might get nervous around Bucky. Hell, if he kissed you like that every day, then maybe your hands would never stop shaking. But now, as the feelings between the two of you were out in the open, you might feel confident every now and then.

Confident that Bucky loves you just as much as you love him.

part 2

#marvel tickle #mcu #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fic #ticklish!reader #tickle fic #sfw tickle fic #bucky tickle #lee!reader #ler!bucky #natasha x reader #ler!natasha #Spotify

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thewayofthemandalorian · 2 years

Text

dreams dashed and divided - chapter eight

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Series Rating: M

Chapter Rating: M

Word count: 5,964

Notes: I can’t believe we’re finally at the last chapter! I’ve really enjoyed writing this fic and seeing the feedback on it. Din and the queenpin have been through a lot and I think it’s time that they have some soft moments and she should know what caused him to stay away for nine years.

This fic is cross-posted to AO3 under the same name and my taglist can be found linked in my bio as well as my masterlist which is linked below.

Comments/reblogs appreciated.

Chapter warnings: Canon-typical violence, use of weapons, swearing, scars, the helmet comes off, kissing, non-explicit sexual content (including female receiving oral sex, fingering), confrontations, vague pregnancy mention, age gap: older man/younger woman (in flashbacks reader is 20 to Din’s 27, and in current day is 29 to his 36).

previous chpater || masterlist (main) || masterlist (din djarin)

Din doesn’t have time to respond before Karga calls out ahead of you again. “We’ve found the lava river!”

Offering a shrug, you pick up your pace, the Mandalorian falling into step beside you. “Back to Kijimi?” he asks.

“Yeah. I–There are some things that I need to take care of there.” It’s a repeat of what you just said, but you need to properly figure out what needs taking care of. There’s a lot that you need to figure out. Things that you need to say in person to people. Specifically Zarah. Things have gone on far too long for your liking.

Catching up with Karga and IG-11, your eyes land on the ferry. “That ferrying droid is fried,” Mando says.

“Sure, but if we push the boat out, we can get it to float downstream, get us out of here,” Karga points out. “Come on, give me a hand.”

“Looks old,” Mando counters. “Will it take the heat?”

“There isn’t a better option, Mando. Are you gonna help me or come up with a better idea?” Karga asks, getting impatient.

Din shrugs. “Guess you’re right.” He walks over to help Karga push the boat out from where it’s been encrusted to the platform. The two men struggle for a minute, the boat not budging a single inch.

“Push!” Din kicks at the boat with his boot, which makes no difference. They’re not getting anywhere with this method.

You turn the droid. “Do you have anything that would help them out?” you ask IG.

He hands you the child. “Yes. Step aside,” he says to Din and Karga, handing you the baby. The child looks up at you and coos in delight. The droid uses the same gear that he used to open the vent earlier in the cantina. The lava crumbles away, allowing the boat to move.

“Good thinking,” praises Karga as your group gets onto the boat.

“Watch your step, there’s molten lava,” warns IG-11.

After a few seconds, the ferry droid, encrusted in hardened lava emerges, shaking away its crusted shroud, beeping and chirping to life. It chirps a question.

“I don’t suppose anyone here speaks droid?” Din quips.

IG-11 jumps in. “I believe he is asking us where we would like to go.”

Karga jerks his head in the direction of the tunnel opening, behind him. “Down river, to the lava flat,” he says.

The ferry droid chirps again, presumably acknowledging the request, and begins to row. After a few seconds it begins humming rhythmically.

Outside of the hums and chirps from the ferry droid, it’s a quiet ride down the lava river, nothing interrupting the otherwise quiet trip.

Greef points ahead. “There’s the opening, we’re free!”

Din pushes a button on his wrist console that’s connected to his helmet so he can see more clearly up ahead. “No… We’re not. Stormtroopers. They’re flanking the mouth of the tunnel. It looks like an entire platoon, they must know we’re coming.”

Well, shit.

“We need to stop the boat,” you say to the droid. The droid keeps rowing, despite all the requests from the rest of the group.

“What do we do?” asks Karga.

“Outside of taking on an entire squadron of troopers?” You can’t think of anything else. “Fight off as many as we can and hope for the best?”

IG-11 thinks otherwise. “They will not be satisfied with anything less than the child. This is unacceptable.”

“Of course it is,” you agree, “but we don’t really have any other options than to fight them off.”

“There are too many of them,” Din points out. “We’ll never be able to fight them all off.”

You’re running out of time, the ferry droid still rowing you closer and closer, cheerily oblivious to what awaits you.

“I will eliminate the enemy and you will escape,” IG-11 declares.

“You don’t have that kinda firepower, pal. You wouldn’t even make it to daylight,” Din argues. He isn’t wrong.

Still, IG-11 doesn’t back down. “That is not my objective. I still have the security protocols from my manufacturer. If my objective is compromised, I must self-destruct,” he explains.

“What’re you talking about?” demands Din.

“I am not permitted to be captured; I must be destroyed,” explains the droid.

Karga interrupts, impatience lacing his voice. “Are we gonna keep talking or are we gonna get out of here?!”

IG-11 hands over the Rising Phoenix to Mando, explaining that he can no longer carry it for him nor can he watch over the child.

“No, wait. You can’t self-destruct,” begs Mando. “Your base command is to watch the child. That supersedes your manufacturer’s protocols, right? Right?” His voice sounds desperate, like he’s trying to find another way.

“That is correct,” acknowledges IG-11.

Mando’s voice is relieved when he responds, “Good. Now, grab a blaster and help us shoot our way out.”

“Can we get the child to do the magic hand thing?” asks Karga, waving his fingers. “Come on, baby, do the magic hand thing!” The baby coos, waving at Karga with a cheeky giggle. “I’m out of ideas.”

The briefly lightened mood does not last longer than a few seconds. “Victory through combat is impossible,” says IG-11. “We will be captured. The child will be lost. Sadly, there is no scenario where the child is saved, in which I survive.”

Mando tries to argue, says that your group needs him. The droid does not listen. The child will be safe if he fulfills his base command. “There is no need to be sad, I have never been alive,” IG reminds Din.

“I’m not… sad,” Din lies. You place a hand on his arm, hoping to be reassuring and comforting.

“Yes, you are. I’m a nurse droid. I have analyzed your voice.” He reaches out and strokes the child’s ear. The baby coos sadly, seeming to understand what is about to transpire. He’s grown fond of the tall droid who’s protected him.

The droid steps out of the boat, into the lava river. “IG?! What are you doing?” calls Karga. He gets no response as the droid walks in the direction of the stormtroopers.

You can hear what he says. “Manufacturer’s protocol dictates that I cannot be captured. I must be destroyed.” A pulsating beeping follows soon after.

Boom.

- - - -

When you emerge from the tunnel a few seconds later, there’s nothing left of the squadron. IG-11 has successfully fulfilled his base command.

That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, however. The relief at the elimination of the troopers is short-lived, wiped out at the sound of Moff Gideon’s personal TIE fighter approaching your group. You all fire your blasters at him, which he retaliates in turn.

“He missed!” shouts Karga.

Din shakes his head. “He won’t next time. Our blasters are useless against him.”

“Then what do you suggest we do?” Karga asks.

The Mandalorian looks for the Rising Phoenix, quickly attaching it to himself. “I have an idea,” he says, just as the TIE fighter makes its way back around again. You fire your blaster at the Imperial officer as Din presses a button that fires up the Rising Phoenix, waiting for the precise moment for liftoff. He can’t mess this up, not when he only has one shot at taking out Moff Gideon.

He lifts off before you can even fully realize what is happening. Din moves in a blur; you can’t see what’s happening. After a few minutes you hear an explosion and you panic, hoping that Din makes it out of this.

Half a minute later, the TIE fighter falls with a crash to the ground a few hundred yards away, Mando falling into a mostly graceful landing not far away from you and Karga and the kid, who’s watching the entire thing with rapt attention.

The three of you make the few strides to Din, who meets you halfway. “Are you all right?” you ask him.

“I am now,” he murmurs.

“That was impressive, Mando. Very impressive,” praises Karga. “It looks like your Guild rates have just gone up.”

Din doesn’t care about that. “Any more stormtroopers or Imps?” he wants to know instead.

It doesn’t appear to be the case. Karga shakes his head. “Nevarro is a very fine planet. Now that the scum and villainy have been washed away, it’s very respectable again.”

Mando is skeptical. “As a bounty hunter planet?” he scoffs.

The child is squirming in your arms, clearly wanting to be close to Din now that you’re all out of harm’s way. You set him down and sling the bag across your body, watching as the child waddles the few feet over to the Mandalorian.

“Some of my favourite people are bounty hunters.” There’s more that Karga has to say, but Din ignores it, noticing the baby grabbing onto his boot. “You, my friend, would be welcomed back into the Guild with open arms, along with your lady friend. So, go off, enjoy yourselves. And when you’re ready to return, you will have the pick of all quarries.”

Din stoops down to pick up the baby, giving him a long, tender look before gazing at you. “I’m afraid we have more pressing matters at hand.”

Karga nods in understanding. “Take care of the little one. Or perhaps, it will take care of you.”

Mando nods, not needing to say anything else. You thank Karga for his help before following Din.

“We’ve got two options, cyar’ika. I saw a trooper’s speeder bike over there that we can use, or I can jet us back to the Crest. It’s up to you.”

You know the answer right away. “Speeder bike.”

Din nods. “All right, then.” Dusting off the speeder bike, he sets the child in the bag that rests at your hip and kicks the speeder bike to life.

You can’t talk over the roar of the bike, the whip of the wind on your face. It’s been quite the intense past couple of days, and you know that things aren’t completely settled yet. There will be enough time to figure all that out later, to process things. For now you want to rest.

When you arrive back at the Razor Crest you help Din bury Kuiil, making a gravemark for the fallen Ugnaught. You can feel his sadness and his remorse. “It wasn’t your fault, Din,” you murmur.

He doesn’t say anything. Loading the speeder onto the Crest, he places the child in his pram, which is only a little worse for wear, and sets a course for Kijimi while you pretend to make yourself busy in your quarters.

It isn’t long before he finds you. “I–We should talk,” he says.

“We should,” you agree. “But first you need to rest. You nearly died today. Three times. You need to regain some of your energy first. What needs to be said can wait a little while longer. Put the ship on autopilot and I’ll watch the little one.” At Mando’s look of skepticism (how quickly you re-learned his different looks), you continue, “You trusted me with him before. You can trust me again now. I won’t let anything bad happen to him. I promise.”

Din sighs. He is dead on his feet and a rest sounds like just what he needs right about now. “What about you?” he asks.

“I’ll be fine. You, on the other hand, look like you’re about to keel over at any second. Someone needs to watch the baby.”

A moment of contemplation. “Fine. But if I’m out for longer than a few hours, come get me.”

You nod, but don’t agree. You’re going to let him rest for as long as he needs.

He sleeps for eight hours.

When he wakes, you are putting the child in his pram for the night; he’s already asleep. “You didn’t wake me,” he says from the door of the cockpit.

You startle and turn to face him. “You needed the rest. Are you feeling better?” you ask.

“I am.”

You nod. “That’s good. We should talk. Do you wanna eat something first?”

“It can wait. I want to talk to you first.”

Pressing the button on the pram to shut it, you sit down in the passenger’s seat. “What did Moff Gideon mean when he said you should have listened to Zarah?” you ask.

Din hesitates. He didn’t want you to find out this way, but he has no choice. “Let me explain,” he says.

- - - -

Nine years ago, 0ABY

Din flicks the switches on the control board of his console, setting the Razor Crest in to land in Kijimi’s starport. He’s been away too long. He had no idea it would take that long to process Qin. Xi’an, by the looks of things, has vanished into thin air, try as he might to find her to bring her to justice for what she’s done.

He tosses an attendant a bag of credits to give the Crest a once-over and to keep an eye on it. He is on a mission. Din needs to see you, bring you away from here, like he promised. That is, if you still want him to.

When he found you on the floor of the cantina that night a month and a half ago, his heart had stopped. He’s been in a lot of life-threatening situations before, but seeing you like that and seeing you the way you were in the medcentre had scared him more than anything else had in twenty years. He hadn’t known that fear since that fateful day on Aq Vetina.

The cantina and flat above it that you live in is across town. He could do the walk with his eyes closed. He doesn’t meander. He needs to see you. Make sure you’re okay.

The cantina is closed when he arrives. He wonders if it’s staying closed while you’re recovering since Zarah and her mother are likely the ones that have been helping you in your recovery. Perhaps selfishly, he thinks that it should be him that helps you recover.

Then again, none of this would have happened if he had been faster in returning that night.

Lifting his fist, Din pounds on the door.

There’s no answer.

He knocks again.

A minute or so later, a figure appears in the door. His heart lifts for a second, hoping that it’s you.

“What are you doing here?” Zarah spits. “Are you here to see what you’ve inflicted on her?”

Din’s defenses rise. “I’m here to see her. I’m here to… So she can come away with me. Where is she? Is she safe? Is she all right?”

Zarah rolls her eyes. “No thanks to you. It’s because of you that this happened.”

She isn’t entirely wrong.

“Can I see her?” he asks. “I need to talk to her.”

She shakes her head. “No.”

“Is she resting? I can wait, or return later—”

“You’re not going anywhere near her ever again,” snaps Zarah, her voice raising. “I saw the way she was around you, because of you. I warned her about men like you. You all just want the same thing.”

Now Din’s truly on the defensive. “You don’t know the first thing about me. And you hardly know what you’re talking about.”

“I know enough,” Zarah counters. “And what I know is enough to tell you that you’re not welcome here anymore.”

“Did she say that? Because I will only accept that from her.”

Zarah crosses her arms over her chest. “She didn’t have to. I’ve known her a lot longer than you have, Mandalorian.”

This is a fact that Din cannot deny. However, he also remembers what you said to him once not so long ago: “I feel more like myself with you than I have with anyone else.” You’re not one to lie.

“I want to see her,” he repeats.

Zarah snaps. “You’re not good for her!”

Din rears back. “Did she say that? Those words?”

Zarah doesn’t answer the question. Instead she says, “She doesn’t want to see you. She’s better off without you. Look at what happened to her because of you.”

“I had nothing to do with that. That was all Xi’an.” Din pauses, knowing it’s a weak argument. He was indirectly responsible, but you didn’t seem to blame him the last time you saw him. “Just let me see her. Please. I–I–I love her. I need to see her.”

But Zarah isn’t budging. “You’re not seeing her and that’s that. You don’t belong together. She belongs here. You’re not good for her.”

Maybe Zarah’s right about that last part. While he doesn’t believe that you would normally allow Zarah to speak for you, under these circumstances he could see why. It was because of him that you ended up injured, nearly dying because of him. Because of his earlier choices. Maybe he isn’t as good for you as you are for him. Without another word, he turns on his heel, sparing one last glance at your bedroom window, before walking away.

Had he waited another half minute, he would have seen you at the window, waiting for him to return.

- - - -

Present day, 9ABY

Tears are streaming down your cheeks as Din finishes explaining what happened the day he returned for you. “You did come back for me,” you breathe.

Din nods. “Of course I did. I was always going to come back for you. I’m so sorry that I listened to her. I should have come back. Tried again. But when she said that you weren’t good for me…” He reaches his hand out to touch your cheek, wiping away your tears. “I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

You shake your head. “It isn’t your fault. I remember that day. I was upstairs, waiting for you. I never stopped waiting for you. I shouldn’t have listened to her. I was always going to go with you. And you are good for me. I’m so sorry that you doubted it because of her. Why did she…? She never told me that you came back.” You lean into his touch. “We wasted so much time.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. We’re here now, cyar’ika.”

You let out a shuddering sigh. “We could have spent so much more time together. We could have been together for the past nine years.”

Din doesn’t say anything. Just presses his hand against your cheek, leans his forehead against yours.

“Why wouldn’t she—? Why did she…?” You can’t finish the question. There’s more that needs to be said, but you need to talk to someone else for a minute. “Can you excuse me for a minute?” you ask Din.

Not waiting for an answer, you make your way down the ladder into your quarters to make a holovid call. You have some questions that need answers and you can’t wait.

“Oh, thank the Maker you’re all right! I was getting worried,” Zarah says when she sees you mostly unharmed.

“Were you?” you snap.

Zarah’s responding chuckle is surprised. “Of course.”

You don’t beat around the bush. “Why didn’t you tell me that Mando came back? Why didn’t you tell me that you sent him away? Why did you send him away?” You’re surprised at how level your voice is. It’s the queenpin, through and through.

Zarah says your name. “What—This has nothing to do with—Why would you ask that?”

“Answer the fucking questions. I know everything. I know that you sent him away, the very day I asked if he came while I was sleeping. That you told him I didn’t want to see him and that he wasn’t good for me. And I want to know why.” Your voice is lethal.

She stutters. “I… I was worried about you. And he said that I didn’t know all the facts. He wasn’t good for you then. I needed you to stay to run the cantina.”

You scoff. “He was right. You didn’t have all the facts. Why wouldn’t you let him see me? Why did you let me believe for nine years that he wasn’t a good person who just left me high and dry? Why, Zarah? When he was—is—the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

Zarah sighs. “I wish I had a good answer. I was concerned about you and I thought I was doing it from a place of love and protection.”

“You weren’t looking out for me. You were looking out for yourself; you were being selfish and let your dislike of Mando get in the way of my happiness.”

Zarah is silent. Shame-filled. “I’m sorry,” she finally says. “I thought you needed me.”

“Mando’s set a course for Kijimi. I’ll be there in a few days, but just know that I’m not there to stay. I’m there to settle things and then I’m done. I’m going with him and that’s that.”

She nods. “Yeah. Understood.”

You end the call, your entire body shaking. Turning around, you see Din in the doorway. “How much of that did you hear?” you ask.

“Is that true? That I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you? Because… you’re one of the best things that’s happened to me. You and the kid.”

The air is punched out of your lungs. Shyly, you nod. “Yeah, Din. It’s true.”

There’s a long pause. Then — “I want you to see something.”

“What’s that?” you ask.

Din lifts his hands to each side of his helmet. It takes you a long minute to realize what he’s doing, realization not fully setting in until you see a flash of brown. Out of instinct you look down, shutting your eyes.

Din is confused. “Cyar’ika, please look at me.”

“But your face—your creed,” you protest.

A gloved finger rests under your chin, tilting your face—and your eyes—towards him and his face. “Open your eyes, sweetheart. I want you to see something that I should have shown you long ago.”

Slowly, you open your eyes and are met with his brown ones. His face, his dear, handsome face, is scarred. Angry, red wounds that look fresh, likely from earlier today when Moff Gideon had tried to blow you up and Din took the hit instead. He’s beautiful.

He looks so nervous. Anxious and unsure of himself. You are the first person who’s seen his face since he swore the creed. That fact isn’t lost on you. “Why?” you whisper. “Why are you showing me?”

Din takes your hands in his. “Because I love you. And I’ve wanted to since the first night we spent together. I’m sorry I didn’t. I was too afraid. You’re the only person I’ve wanted to take it off for—you and the kid. I’ll show him my face soon. I know he’s curious.”

“I love you, too. And I’m honoured to be the first.”

You take him in, unused to seeing his face. You just want to stare at him. And also kiss him. So, you do. “Is this okay?” you ask, leaning in.

“Perfect,” he replies, closing the gap.

It’s something you’ve dreamt of for ages, being able to kiss Din Djarin, unhindered by the helmet or by darkness. You can’t quite believe that you’re doing it now. His kisses are clumsy yet enthusiastic.

Din holds you close, as flush to him as possible. Your hands grapple at his shoulders. “I need to clean… Your face,” you gasp in between kisses.

“Later,” Din growls, hoisting you into his arms. “We need to do a lot more catching up and making up.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You kiss a line down his stubbled jaw as he moves you both to the pallet.

“Help me take this off?” he asks in between kisses.

“Isn’t the beskar, the Mandalorian armour, sacred?” you ask.

Din smooths a hand across your face so tenderly you almost weep. “You’re sacred to me,” he says, guiding your hands to the hooks that hold his beskar together. Next comes the flight suit.

Never once in all your time with him, did you ever expect to see this much of him. You still remember the thrills you used to get when you saw a sliver of a wrist, thinking that that was going to be the extent of what you saw of him.

He’s beautiful. His torso and thighs are littered with old scars, some newer than others. Some are faded with time. You don’t have time to focus on them because he’s making quick work of your own clothing.

“Mesh’la,” Din whispers, kissing you again. “Beautiful girl.”

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are, Din Djarin?” you counter.

He makes good on his promise of making up for lost time and catching up with each other. It still hasn’t sunk in that this is real, that he’s real. And that you’re able to finally see him without any hindrance. His mouth moves down your body; he takes his time in arriving at his destination. He’s methodical, taking his time, setting your body ablaze with his fingers and mouth. “Din,” you half-gasp, half-whisper. “I thought I was going to lose you today,” you whisper.

“You’ll never lose me, cyar’ika,” Din replies, finally reaching his target. You tangle your fingers in his hair.

You hold him as closely as possible, holding onto him as his fingers and mouth make your vision go white and cause your body to shake. Clinging to him in the hazy aftermath, you stroke his hair, because you can.

But he isn’t finished yet; he’s just allowing a brief reprieve so that you can catch your breath. It isn’t long until he’s pushing his way inside, slowly, allowing you to adjust. You cling to him still, clutching him as close as you can, looking into his deep eyes that seem to go on forever. The eyes that have seen a million different things. This man who’s seen and done so much. Who’s so achingly kind and good and right. Gentleness is something that he thought he didn’t possess, but you don’t think that’s true.

He moves and you think you must be in heaven. Convinced that this man was made for you. If you had to meet Din again for the first time, you don’t know if you’d change anything. You love him. You’ve found your way back to him. You can’t undo the loneliness of missing him the past nine years, but you can make sure as much of the time ahead of you is spent with him as possible.

You reach your peak, kissing him through yours and then through his, holding him tightly as you collapse against the pallet.

Not much is said. You don’t think that Din has been held for a long time, so you hold him from behind, your chest to his back, your arms around his middle, legs wrapped around his thighs, your face buried in the warm crook of his neck. “I love you,” he murmurs at one point. “You’re not going to run away this time are you?” he teases after a minute when you haven’t said anything.

You pull your face away from the warmth of his neck. “You noticed that?” you ask.

“Kind of hard not to.” You open your mouth to explain, but he interrupts you. “I was just teasing, cyar’ika. I understand.”

You fall back into silence. “I should tend to your face. I don’t want you to get infected.”

Din lifts your interlocked hands to his mouth. “Maybe later, cyare. I want to spend as much time like this with you as possible.”

Nestling yourself back into the position you were in a minute ago, you murmur into the skin of his neck so that the words can seep into him, just loud enough so that he can hear them. “I love you, too.”

- - - -

Two days later

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” asks Din as he lands at the starport on Kijimi.

You’re not sure. You do want him to stay, but he also needs to lay low and begin to find leads on where to bring the child so that he can be reunited with one of its own kind. Also, you’re pretty sure Zarah might kill him on sight, regardless of what was said. “I’ll be fine. It’s only for a few weeks, right? I’m pretty sure we can manage that.” You reach up to cup his cheek, savouring the moment. In a few minutes, he’ll have to put it back on when he lands. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You kiss him gently before handing him his helmet that is sitting on the passenger’s seat. The baby coos disappointedly as Din puts his helmet on, having gotten used to his father figure without the helmet on.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can. I promise,” Din assures you.

He helps you unload the speeder that you’re claiming as your own for while you’re on Kijimi. “Take care, cyar’ika.”

You speed off to the cantina. It’s evening, and the cantina is just closing up when you arrive. Zarah is standing behind the bar, counting out the credits made from the day. It looks like she’s done well for herself in the days that you’ve been gone. She looks up and sees you. “You’re back,” she says.

“I’m back. But not for good. I’m just here to put some things into place and make sure things are in order before you take over.”

A tight nod is what you receive. “And… the Mandalorian?”

“Had to go work a job,” you reply. It’s a familiar reply. “He’ll be back when he can.”

It must be familiar to her, too, because she says, “I’ve heard that before.” And then she flinches, realizing what she said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

You don’t react to it. Instead, you say, “You know, I’m really proud of how I ran the cantina. I wasn’t overly fond of the person I was as queenpin, but I think I ran a pretty tight ship. But it was never mine. I was only borrowing the role from you. The only thing that’s been mine since I was twelve has been what I have with Mando. I know how that sounds, but it’s true.”

Zarah doesn’t say anything.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand why you did what you did, because I don’t. I don’t know if I ever will. I missed out on so much with him because you allowed me to think the worst of him. You made me think that he was a dishonourable man when that couldn’t be further from the truth. My dreams were dashed and divided because of it. And now I have a chance to repair them and I’m taking that chance and I’m holding on to them with both hands. I’m done doubting him and I’m done doubting myself. I deserve to be happy.” The silence continues. “I’m going to finish my time as the head of this establishment, give myself a sendoff and then this place is all yours. And then it can be Zorii’s if that’s what you want and that’s what she wants. No one ever asked if this was what I wanted. But it’s too late for that now. Like it’s too late for a lot of things.” You don’t really have a lot more to say. “I don’t know if you’ve been staying here since I’ve been gone, but there’s nothing really for me here. So I’m going to stay at the Busted Droid until Di—until Mando is back.”

Zarah finally looks at you, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I really am sorry,” she says finally.

“I know you are. And I’m grateful for all that you and your mother have done for me since my father… since he… Anyway, I can’t stay here. It isn’t meant for me.”

“Where is meant for you?” she asks.

You meet her gaze. “With Mando.”

On your way to the inn, you see Sylar, presumably on his break from the starport. You need to make things right with him. You stop the speeder and call his name, catching his attention.

“Hey,” he says, trying to be casual.

“Hi,” you reply.

He rubs the back of his neck. “Where’d you go? With that Mando?”

You nod. “That’s about the long and short of it. He’s… Well, I’m in love with him. I have been for the past nine years.”

Sylar nods. “I always knew that there was someone else. I know what we had wasn’t exactly… Well. I knew there was someone who held your heart. This might be selfish, but I kind of wished that it was me.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be that person for you. You’re a great friend and I care for you a great deal. I just…” You can’t find the right words.

He sighs. “It’s fine. I always knew it couldn’t be more than what it was. I’m gathering that you’re going off with your Mandalorian?” he asks.

“Soon enough. He just had to look into a few things first. Also he’s kind of persona non grata as far as Zarah’s concerned.”

Sylar quirks a small smile. “That’ll do it.”

“Are we good?�� you ask. “I’d hate to part as anything other than friends.”

“Yeah, love. We’re good.”

You smile. “Good.”

Your last evening as the queenpin is the following night. It’s surreal being back in that setting even if it’s only been about a week. So much has happened in that time. You don’t feel like that person anymore, if you were ever truly that person to begin with.

The clients claim that they will miss you, and perhaps some of them truly will, but you don’t think anyone really knew you here, not really.

Still, you try to have as much fun as you can. Instead, you spend the entire night missing Din and the little one, hoping that they’re safe.

In the interim, while you wait for them to return for you, you spend a lot of time on your speeder bike. Going out as far as you can. Places you’ve never ventured to or haven’t been to in years. A newfound freedom rings through you. A peace you haven’t known in years returns to your soul. Hope begins to bloom in you again. You spend your nights missing Din and the child, knowing that they will return to you when they can. That Din will always return to you.

Two weeks turns to three and there’s still no word from them. While this would have concerned you before, you’re not worried. Not overly. Din will come back for you. He knows where to find you. And he will always find you.

One night at the end of the third week, you’re returning back to the inn for the night when you decide to drive out to the starport, not quite ready to settle in for the night. You’re restless tonight.

It’s late and the stars are out tonight. The chill runs deep into your bones. Still, you don’t want to head back to the inn just yet. There are no new arrivals. To pass the time, you have a hot drink with Marta before heading out for the night. As you talk with Marta, you rest your hand on your stomach, not yet aware of the life that you and Din created growing inside you.

You arrive at the inn not too much later. Not really ready to go to bed, but knowing that you must. Your hand is on the door when you see a bright light from above you. The familiar sound of a ship you know well. Piloted by Din Djarin, your Mandalorian.

Returned to you at last.

The End

--- taglist in reblog.

#pedro pascal #din djarin x reader #mando x reader #the mandalorian x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #din djarin x f!reader #mando x f!reader #the mandalorian x f!reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #dreams dashed and divided #my fic #my writing

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