Loved you
I loved you because things seemed simple
You had less time to worry about the small things
And you was able to enjoy all your hobbies
A trip to shop was just for milk
For me it was an entire family’s worth of meals
My hobbies where on hold which I knew would be the case till I turned 40
You had already turned 40
And 50
You lied about your age and hid your birthday
You didn’t enjoy…
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i actually really enjoyed writing this one and i think it turned out pretty well xx
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A deathly poem with a sweet ending in my newest book, “Whiskey Theorem 2.” LINK IN BIO I also can’t thank @notjr.c, @r.d.johnson, and @mitch_grn @radstudio.co for all the help they’ve given me with my newest book. Please show them some love! #poemoftheday #poetry #poem #poetryquotes #poetryquote #instapoem #elpoeta #textgram #instapoem #instapoet #poetrycommunity #anxietypoetry #depressionpoem #typewriterpoetry #igpoetry #writingofig #poetrylovers #wordporn #poet #poetrycommunity #mentalhealthpoetry #poetofinstagram #poemsofinstagram #instapoetry #pain #love https://www.instagram.com/p/CQwMXvMspAi/?utm_medium=tumblr
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Anxitipedes
They've told me to relax
In fact, that's all that anyone
has ever done
Relax, relax
RELAX
I say I'm fine, I'm okay
Some know I'm lying
Others look the other way
I'm lying, I'm not alright
I say I'm okay
Until my fears crawl across the floor
Physical representations of my own
Lack of maturity.
I'm okay when the sun is shining
And I've got my boots on
My face is painted, game
I'm okay until my vulnerabilities
Touch my insecurites and the moon
The moon is my only hope
The only reminent of beauty
In a black sky, a black night
The moon reminds me to focus
To come back down off of my panic
My muse
In this black mind of mine
People are art, but sometimes art is ugly
It's all plain as day in this hand job
They've handed me
I know I'm scared
I know I worry
You think I don't know I suffer from anxiety?
You haven't noticed that I've stopped lining my eyes
Because makeup smudges when I involuntarily cry
The worst is when I think I can't breathe
And they all just stare and they tell me the same
Same old thing, relax
I thought peace would line the walls of my home
But instead primal fears invoke a deeper wound
And I'm afraid, I'm running away from my own fears
And i get trapped within the confines of this structure I pay for
Sometimes I think I should ask my anxiety to pay me some rent
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Night Sweats
You want need what you need want
Until you get it
In liminal spaces the past is triple exposed
Onto the idle present, the
Unimaginable future imagined
And together time forms a kaleidoscopic drill
Pressing onward through the gut’s bottomless pit
There’s no ending, just acceptance
Of what’s been — time treasured and wasted,
Redeemed by the hollow promise of experience
Building you into who you’re supposed to be
But do we ever really change?
Will we ever not wake up
Drenched in sweat, our clammy full-body depression
The residual remnants of past lives
Unfulfilled — because there’s no time
Like the present to lust for the future
There’s no better time to need what you want
Until you don’t want it anymore
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did you really love me
the way that you sit
and ignore the way i seem to fit inside the room when you are there
did you love me? did you care?
i see that you act like i was never here
like i was no one to your atmosphere
and you know that ignorance bugs me
but my lips are sealed from the ignorance you give me
and i cant speak i cant breathe i cant move i cant see
when you are around or in front of me
the…
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Exhausted
I tried to sleep this afternoon
But then they creeped out side my room
The cleaner screamed the visitor shouted
“You dirty filth what have you started!”
“Nothing”
The man yelled back at the cleaner.
Then she put me off my dinner.
“That man if you see him” she said “tell me
He wiped his arse and cleaned his Willy
In the sink and let it drip
All of the floor and all over the sink
Then…
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Who cares you do what you want anyway
Who cares
You do what you want
Anyway
Who cares
You’ll vent all you like
Any day
You’ll say all you need to
You bleed all you seem to
You’ll hurt all you want to
You’ll do what you want to
Anyway
No matter how much I ask you to stop
You never will
You’ll never let go
You’ll never let go
You’ll never let go.
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It didn’t kill me or make me stronger
The belief,
That truly grief,
Pain and discomfort,
Makes you stronger,
The longer you move away from it,
Is not true…
It didn’t make me stronger,
It didn’t nearly kill me,
It didn’t matter,
How many times I thought about it,
How many times I revisited,
I tried to see if it could make me stronger,
Wiser.
But every time I opened it up,
It made me weaker, sad and stuck,
And every time…
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Rules
Rules, never made sense,
I watch people even now,
Say there are rules,
But then not follow them.
But shout at others,
To follow them.
I’ve never been a rule breaker, not really,
Never been a rule maker, not really,
And I don’t really admire anyone else who makes the rules, shouts about rules or avoids the rules.
So really I don’t see the point in rules, not really.
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Purple crocus
It’s the start of a new season
Where the bugs and the bees will come
Nature is awakening
The birds they start to sing
Plants they start to grow
Trees they form a shadow
Sun the sky is bright
Breeze is calm at night
Purple peeking through the mud
Smiling waving back at us
Spring is here and winter is dimming
Life is restarting
Life is growing
And I feel happy when I see the purple…
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Todays stolen quote #writerscorner #quote #mindfullness
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Religious whispers : just a thought
You don’t believe in God,
Nor do I,
But I pray, incase god hears me.
You don’t like people who pray to god,
You don’t believe that there is anything,
It’s a joke, just a bloke, in a wig and costume,
Just a gimmick, just a brag, just a lie people consume,
It’s a belief,
It’s hope,
It’s something many use to guide them through the complexity of life,
It’s life saving, it’s a haven, it’s…
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Todays stolen quote #thursday #quote #mindfulness #writerscorner #poets #poetry
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letter to hope #poem #writer #letter
a letter to hope...
If I never see you again, I want you to know that you did your job, the best that you could. But hope, you gave me too much. You see having you, hope in my life became a dangerous thing and I know that I have quoted that out of a movie, but I sat with you on many evenings and you told me that it was ok to have a little of you to hold at night to keep me going.
The more I have learned about you…
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Fed up
Everything demands attention,
The debts,
The bill,
The dog the cat the kids.
I give it.
As soon as I have the money,
The strength,
The time.
Even though,
I’m unemployed ,
I’m weak ,
time is not always so forgiving.
Being a young mum,
They warned me,
Don’t do it,
Blamed the kids,
It would be them.
It’s not.
Never has been.
But now I see it,
As clear as water on in the lake,
As…
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