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#as long as we are both alive in this world we will meet etc etc
bufflehead-21 · 2 years
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“yunmeng bros reconciliation can’t happen” you really think either of them have the ability to leave things well enough alone? 2 weeks after guanyin temple and you’re telling me these two aren’t trying to break into lotus pier and cloud recesses mission-impossible style? wei wuxian doing the whole breathe-through-a-bamboo-tube snorkel thing trying to swim into lotus pier (maybe covering his head with a lotus leaf) jiang cheng scaling the walls of cloud recesses like the fucking batman in the dead of night. lan qiren gets summoned to his office at midnight to find two very annoyed lan sentries and one sect leader jiang. lan qiren is like ‘this is the third time this week, sect leader jiang’ and jc is like ‘yeah and there’s gonna be a fourth time too, asshole’
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youremyheaven · 2 months
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Rahu & Ketu: Abuse & Addiction
TW: drug overdose, death, suicide, abuse, childhood abuse
Nodal influence can be very destabilising and intoxicating. They're opposites but as they say the extremes of anything is a meeting point for it's opposite, so Rahu & Ketu share many similarities.
Rahu & Ketu are both shadow planets, Rahu is the head whereas Ketu is the tail. This in itself reveals much about the nature of the two. Rahu is over immersed in the world whereas Ketu is completely cut off from it.
When I say Rahu is over immersed/over stimulated, I don't mean they're profoundly connected to reality, I mean the opposite, they're deeply immersed in Maya/illusion that they often have no sense of reality. Rahu is the head, imagine if you lived in your head all the time? You'd be in your own la la land, disconnected from what is actually happening around you. This is Rahu energy. Without your body, you cannot use your senses, you cannot fully feel alive or experience reality. Rahu being the head means you're cut off from what is "real". You only live in your head and what happens in your head is very subjective and completely illusory.
They are so deeply immersed in an illusory world. This can manifest as substance addiction, video gaming, fame, material success, internet addiction, overly obsessed with "binging" content, maladaptive daydreaming etc, any experience that disconnects you from what is "real" and immerses you in something that feels very real but isn't real. Both Rahu and Ketu people suffer from addiction, Claire had mentioned that Nodal influence can make someone prone to addiction but why Rahu and Ketu are addicted tend to be very different. Rahu is overstimulated, they always need more of everything. There are people who spend 10 hours a day just watching YouTube videos or IG reels or whatever, that's because they need that much stimulation, since they live in their heads. Their minds need that kind of fodder to thrive off of. Once you start using any kind of substance, your brain builds a tolerance for it and you have to start using higher and higher doses to get the same high. When a Rahu native accumulates wealth, they start indulging in it but nothing is ever enough. They never feel "full", they don't have that fuse in their brain that flares up and says "this is enough". Basically they never know when to stop, they just keep going and going and going with anything they immerse themselves in. People play video games for 3-4 days straight without leaving their game set up. They don't ever feel satisfied. This is scary because "feeling full" is our brain's way of asking us to stop. Without that mechanism, we would overindulge and overdo everything which is what these natives do.
This is also why relationships are so tricky for Nodal people. They give too much and immerse themselves to the point where it's detrimental to the relationship. You either feel like you're losing part of yourself to it or the other person feels like you're consuming their energy too much (which makes them feel drained). Moderation does not exist for Nodal people either they're completely detached or they're completely obsessed.
Its similar to Jupiter energy in the sense that Jupiter is also very expansive and has the ability to immerse itself in everything and give so much but Jupiter has other principles that firmly ground it in reality as it is not a shadow planet like Rahu. It is not suspended in an illusion, Jupiter natives give so much or do so much because they have the internal space to do so, not out of a tendency to immerse themselves in Maya/illusion. Jupiter is the opposite, they see through Maya and find it hard to consciously part take in it.
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Taylor Swift- Ardra Moon
She works harder than anybody in the biz. Her concerts are like 3 hours long and she does like 40-50 shows on average. She's ALWAYS doing THE most. She releases a new album every 2 years or so, has other projects etc this is a positive manifestation of Rahu energy because it allows you to be deeply immersed in your craft and your world but it also means you live in a bubble and you are cut off from "real life".
Ketu is the tail, it is cut off from reality and feels profoundly disconnected to reality. It is hard for these natives to feel like they relate to anything. This is why Ketuvians struggle with addiction. They use substances because they want to feel something, want to feel tethered, want to feel connected. They have to use higher doses because it helps them feel heightened emotions when they usually don't feel anything at all.
Ketu is connected to spirituality because natives who feel disconnected from the real world to this extent find it easier to immerse themselves in the occult and in esoterica. It is more abstract and requires you to think non-logically, i.e, experientially, but this is something Ketuvians have a hard time with, they themselves feel very "abstract" or like they aren't real or don't exist, so while they're intrinsically drawn to the esoteric, they feel untethered/ungrounded by immersing themselves in it too much. They need something they can cling to, they need something solid that they can attach themselves to.
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All Rahuvian nakshatras belong to the Shudra caste, specifically the Butcher caste, this is very interesting because Shudra is the lowest caste (Mleccha is "outcaste" which means it exists outside the system entirely), to be Rahuvian means to operate on the lowest level. Butchers have to slaughter meat to make a living, that is unpleasant and brutal work, and only if they are disconnected from it can they keep doing it. They cannot be too focused on what they actually do because then it will be hard for them to do their tasks. They're not repulsed by it because they're disconnected from it.
2/3 Ketuvian naks are also Shudra caste whereas Ashwini is the only Ketu nak that is upper caste as it is a Vaishya nak.
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(table by me hehe)
Rahuvian naks are found in all 3 ganas (Swati is deva gana, Ardra is manushya gana, Shatabhisha is rakshasa gana)
2/3 Ketuvian naks are Rakshasa gana (Mula, Magha) with only Ashwini being a Deva gana nak
I feel like Ketuvians are always made to feel like the bad guy / people villainize them a lot. They're the "ugly ducklings" who have to "win" approval as they're never accepted for who they are.
Rahu needs to immerse itself in something because its sensory perception is limited and they need to really indulge to grasp what is "real". Its very common for people with heavy Rahuvian or Rahu in a malefic placement to experience hallucinations or feel like their grip on reality is very thin.
Ketu has nothing perceive with at all. Its like being completely lost in the shadows or the dark. There's no perception taking place at all, it makes the natives inwardly drawn because its truly hard for them to absorb from their surroundings unlike Rahu which absorbs easily and fully. Rahu is over immersed whereas Ketu lacks immersion at all.
Lets look at the yoni animals of Rahu & Ketu naks respectively
Rahu: Ardra -dog yoni, Shatabhisha- horse yoni, Swati-buffalo yoni
Ketu: Magha-rat yoni, Mula- dog yoni, Ashwini-horse yoni
one common theme is that all these animals are abused, mistreated and exploited
(rats are the go to animal for lab testing, dogs are valued for their loyalty and are at the mercy of their owners, horses are made to endure so much labour, buffalos are farm animals)
all of these animals are also associated with dirt/filth in some way or another which is perhaps why people with Nodal influence often have a dishevelled appearance. They're bad at taking care of themselves.
Both horse yoni & dog yoni are divided among Rahu & Ketu naks whereas the yoni consort for Swati is Hasta (Moon ruled) and Magha is Purvaphalguni (Venus ruled).
Horses are very strong but very fragile animals. They start walking almost immediately after birth, they sleep standing up but they require a lot of attention and care as their health tends to be very fragile. Even though horses are associated with working hard, its not exactly innately part of their nature, it's just that they've been domesticated into being that way. It represents a very powerful active energy, as horses can be highly temperamental and unpredictable.
Dog yoni on the other hand, makes a person very needy and eager to please others. Dogs depend on the affection of their owners and without it they feel unhappy. Both these nakshatras have obsessive tendencies and a people pleasing nature. They're also two nakshatras who endure abuse the most.
I've noticed that a lot of people tend to have both nodes in their chart and I wonder what its like to house such contradictions. On one hand you're extremely involved, on the other, you're supremely detached.
The entertainment industry is one where people with Nodal influence really thrive but also often, self-destruct themselves. Its immensely hard to balance these energies since Rahu heightens whatever is in it, the way Jupiter expands whatever it touches. Both planets make you feel manic but in different ways.
Addiction is the result of an overactive nervous system and a coping mechanism. Ketu feels cut off from society/life/the world so in order to feel connected, it over indulges. Rahu needs something that will help them fully lose themselves, idk if I'm explaining it properly but you know how the best movies you've watched are the ones where you feel like you were in them experiencing those things with the characters? Its like that
There is an unhappy pattern of Rahu & Ketu influenced people being abused, I have especially noted this among child actors but also others.
Taylor Momsen- Swati Moon
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Her parents signed her up with Ford Modeling when she was just 2 years old. "No 2-year-old wants to be working, but I had no choice. My whole life, I was in and out of school. I didn't have friends. I was working constantly and I didn't have a real life."
This theme of not experiencing "real life" or reality is very prominent in the lives of Rahuvian and Ketuvian people. It can be interpreted in many ways according to the context but there is always a sense of being deprived of what was "normal" or "real" as a result of which these natives had to live in their imagination or indulge in other things.
Like the child star who worked their whole life playing other people (acting is very Rahuvian) or the loner kid who spends all their time immersed in movies or video games because that feels more "real" to them.
Fame is also an inherently Rahuvian experience bc it's an illusion & a prison.
Judy Garland- Ardra Rising, Mula Moon
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She was emotionally abused and controlled by her mother who got her addicted to drugs by the time she was a teenager. She was also sexually abused by the studio executives she worked with. Judy had a very tough life.
Aaron Carter, Ardra Moon, Mula Rising
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Aaron Carter claimed that as a teen musician, his family spent $500 million of his money on 15 houses and 30 cars. He claimed that when his parents sold the houses, he didn't get a cut of the profits. He also alleged that his dad shot a .44 magnum near his ear — which resulted in him going 70% deaf in one ear — to force him into signing a $256,000 check.
Being heavily tattooed (more examples at the end of this post) is also a very Nodal thing to do.
He unfortunately passed away in 2022 from an accidental drug overdose. This is also a very unfortunate pattern among Nodal celebrities.
Macaulay Culkin- Shatabhisha Moon, Magha Sun & Mercury
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 Macaulay Culkin's father Kit managed him during his childhood career. Macaulay has shared that his father was controlling and had him on a very busy filming schedule in the early '90s. He added his father made him stay up every night to study the lines he would have to say the next day. Macaulay asserted that his father was "such a crazy person" that he forced him to do SNL without cue cards when he hosted the show at 11 years old. Macaulay has explained that he felt his father was jealous of him because “everything he tried to do in his life I excelled at before I was 10 years old.”When Macaulay stopped acting after his 1994 movie Richie Rich, he told his parents, “I’m done, guys — hope you all made your money because there is no more coming from me.”His parents were never married and after he stopped acting, his mother filed for custody. Macaulay ended up taking his parents to court to stop them from controlling his $17 million in earnings. Since then, he and his father have been estranged.
I feel like the "child star gone wild" is a trope meant specifically for Nodal people
Keke Palmer, Magha Sun & Mercury, Mula Moon
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Palmer shared on IG:
"Due to traveling and scheduling both of my parents had to stop working to support my career and be present for my three siblings, leaving me with the financial responsibility around age 12. Which I took great pride in because I knew what it would do for generations to come and a huge blessing that I could even help out. However it caused me a lot of pain because I essentially had to abandon my childhood feelings and desires, becoming like a parentalized child, which is something some of you can probably relate to in your own way. This was something that I have had to continuously work through because I am grateful but often feel like.. I missed “IT”. Life can be such a tragic comedy because how funny is it.. that now becoming an actual parent, and the responsibility I’ve always carried being more valid now than ever, has in fact given me the chance to feel what it’s like to be a kid again, I get a chance to explore a lot of the things I missed out on with my son, His freedom is like, the most priceless gift to me. He is already teaching me so much, it’s like he awakened the little me inside that I thought was long gone."
Ketu dominance = being your own parent, being neglected by your family or having to be your parent's parent.
Michael Jackson, Magha Sun & Mercury, Shatabhisha Rising
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From a young age Jackson was physically and mentally abused by his father, enduring incessant rehearsals, whippings and name-calling. Jackson's abuse as a child affected him throughout his grown life. reading about the lives of the Jackson siblings and how severely they were all abused is very perspective altering and sad
Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen, Magha Moon, Ashlesha Rising (inc the ashlesha placement bc its another nak often subject to control and abuse)
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“With what we were doing in business when we were younger, I don’t think it ever felt like we were actresses,” Mary-Kate “Because we spend so much more of our time not in front of the cameras, building a brand. Ashley agreed, saying: “I always looked at myself, even as a kid, as a business woman.” Mary-Kate said she wouldn't wish her childhood on anyone, and said she felt like a "monkey performer." 
they quit acting in the mid 2000s and rarely make public appearances and god only knows what they endured in the business bc neither of them will talk about it.
Sarah Michelle Geller, Ashwini Sun conjunct Ketu, Shatabhisha Moon
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Sarah herself enjoyed the path she'd ended up on, she has rules in place for her own daughter. Recalling the "industry abuses" she experienced as a teenager in Hollywood, she said she hoped she'd "set up a safety net for these actors that I didn't have," but that she and husband Freddie Prinze Jr. have "rules in place" that mean daughter Charlotte "can't be in front of a camera until she graduates high school."
Kylie Jenner, Swati Moon
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Kylie started appearing on her family's reality show when she was 10
In 2016, she told her sister Kim in an episode of the show: "I feel like I've had anxiety for too long. I feel too much, I care too much, I read too much. Some people are born for this life and some people aren’t. I just know I’m not supposed to be famous.” in an old IG post she said: "I’m proud of myself, my heart, and my strength. Growing up in the light with a million eyes on you just isn’t normal. I’ve lost friends along the way and I’ve lost myself too sometimes. My first tattoo was 'sanity' to remind myself everyday to keep it. I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole young adult life." "I know I don't want to be famous forever. There's gonna be a time where I feel comfortable, I'm at a good place in my life, and I just stop."
Natalie Wood, Ashwini Moon
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The late Natalie Wood was forced into acting by her mother, Maria, who missed her chance to become a performer and instead focussed her efforts on pushing her daughters to stardom.
While young Natalie had a natural talent for performing, it seemed that her reason for going to movie sets was more to please her mother than to quench any desire of her own. 
Bella Thorne, Mula Moon
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"I was sexually abused and physically growing up from the day I can remember till I was 14. When I finally had the courage to lock my door at night and sit by it. All damn night." She has also stated that she only started acting as a child to support her family.
Drew Barrymore, Shatabhisha Sun
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 Drew's mother took her to clubs and allowed her access to drugs and alcohol, ultimately leading to her institutionalization at the age of 13, and emancipating herself at 14. Drew described fame at such a young age as "a recipe for disaster."
Edith Piaf, Mula Sun & Mercury, Magha Mars
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Born in Paris practically on the streets, she struggled from day one, the daughter of street performers. The mother, a singer, eventually abandoned both Edith and her father for a solo career. Piaf spent her youth entertaining passers-by, receiving little formal education in the process. She often accompanied her father's acrobat street act with her singing and at various times was forced to live with various relatives, in alleys or in cheap hotels. An aborted love affair left her with a baby girl at age 17, but little Marcelle died of meningitis at 2 years old. Devastated, Piaf returned to the streets she knew, now performing solo. Her fortunes finally changed when an impresario, Louis Leplee, mesmerized by what he heard, offered the starving but talented urchin a contract. He alone was responsible for taking her off the streets at age 20 and changing her name from Edith Gassion to "La Mome Piaf" (or "Kid Sparrow"). Piaf grew in status entertaining in elegant cafés and cabarets and became a singing sensation amid the chic French society with her throbbing vocals and raw, emotional power. From 1936, Piaf recorded many albums and eventually became one of the highest paid stars in the world.
Later in life she became an addict and died in poverty at the age of 47.
Brittany Murphy, Swati Moon & Venus
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she was a child star who was managed by her controlling mom. she battled with eating disorders and drug addiction. rip britt.
Justin Bieber, Shatabhisha Sun conjunct Saturn
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Justin shot to fame at a very young age and was severely exploited by his management/everybody around him
Now here are some heavily tatted celebs and their placements
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L to R
Rihanna- Shatabhisha Sun
Paris Jackson- Ardra Moon
Cheryl Cole- Ardra Sun & Mars, Shatabhisha Moon
Demi Lovato- Magha Sun
Jungkook- Magha Moon, Mula Rising
Ruby Rose- Swati Rising
Machine Gun Kelly- Ashwini Sun
The 27 club refers to a phenomenon where several musicians have died by age 27, many from an overdose. Unfortunately many of them have Nodal influence.
Brian Jones- Shatabhisha Sun
Jimi Hendrix- Mula Rising
Amy Winehouse- Mula Moon
Kurt Cobain- Shatabhisha Sun, Ardra Moon,
Janis Joplin- Ardra Moon, Mula Mars, Asc conjunct Ketu (in Dhanishta)
Jim Morrison- Ketu conjunct Rising (in Shravana)
several other celebrities who have died from overdoses also tend to have prominent Nodal influence
John Belushi- Mula Rising
Phillip Seymour Hoffman- Mercury in Ardra 2h, Mars conjunct Ketu in Swati
Prince- Shatabhisha Moon, Ketu in Ashwini
Whitney Houston- Shatabhisha Rising
River Phoenix- Magha Sun conjunct Ketu, Swati Ascendant conjunct Jupiter
Elvis Presley- Shatabhisha Moon
Margaux Hemingway- Ashwini Rising
Nodal planets are shadow planets and it can be very difficult for these natives to manage this energy as it is energy without a source, Rahu & Ketu don't have physical form or existence, that is a lot of uncontrolled energy to possess within yourself. Many people turn to spirituality and other esoteric sources and good Rahu & Ketu influence is vital and necessary to study or gain access to gnosis, study astrology or other occult matters but when this energy is imbalanced in their chart, these natives are more prone to self-destruction than any other planetary dominance simply because the unbridled energy is impossible to contain and requires some kind of coping mechanism. I have dated several Nodal men and they all dealt with varying degrees of addiction to varying substances and they all spoke about "wanting to feel more real" or how "nothing feels solid". I will try to focus on the positive manifestations of the Nodes on a future post.
thanks for reading<333
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doberbutts · 4 months
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You mentioned in response to another ask that you don't use "transandrophobia" because the trans theory you were taught by trans women told you that "transmisogyny" covered those things and that is a total revelation to me. I've been thinking for a long time that it seemed to me that the idea of transmisogyny *does* cover transandrophobia, it just impacts trans femmes and trans mascs differently a lot of the time. But I had no idea that there has been theory/discussion that says this. I'm more used to the idea of "TMA" with the implication that only trans women are affected by transmisogyny. Is that more of a new thing and transmisogyny used to be considered as a more broad term? And would you trace that change to the same issue you're talking about with a lot of current feminism forgetting how feminism is also a "men's issue"?
Idk if I would call it "new" per say. The word trans-misogyny was coined in 2007 and did not include trans men, but the book in which it was coined did mention that language was likely needed to describe the trans man experience as well. There have been a number of different attempts, but none have really stuck.
I went to college starting in 2010, so roughly 3 years after Serrano coined the word. While in college, my school's GSA wanted LGBT elders to come and talk to all the scared freshly-minted adults who were trying to figure out this being gay thing. The woman who ran my GSA found a Trans woman who was willing to be my mentor and sponsor, she wrote my letters for me back when that was still necessary for medical transition, and we met frequently for her to teach me more or less how to be trans safely. Some things she did not know- how to bind safely, how to attach a semi-permenant packer, etc. But others she knew very well, because she herself dealt with both being seen as a man by society as well as the effects of testosterone on her body for decades before she transitioned.
Anyway. This woman was great, and is a significant portion of the reason I'm still alive to this day. And she is who taught me the word transmisogyny, and that it should really cover all trans people because all trans people experience an intersection of transphobia and misogyny. Whether that was popular theory at the time or not, that is what us young kids learned directly from the mouths of trans women at my college, which to me means that others were also learning this particular version of transfeminist theory.
Unfortunately by the time I dropped out of college in 2013/2014, online trans spaces were having stupid arguments such as "transtrenders are bad" and "neopronouns are bad" and "nonbinary people are cis people who want to feel special" and "trans men should be hunted for sport" and "trans women are incel nazis" and. Well. I went "wow this place is a cesspit and I feel like no one here has actually talked to another transgender person face to face" and then did not engage with the online community. So I don't really know how common or popular the understanding I was taught was at the time, though it certainly seems quite rare now.
(As a caveat I don't really think trans people of any gender have anything that isn't similar with each other when it comes to oppression, outside of certain bodily things that can't be helped because that's literally the thing we're transgender about, and I think we all experience very similar oppression but sometimes with a different hat)
As for what caused this particular defining to fall into obscurity? I really can't say. I don't know how popular the transfeminist theory the trans women who spoke at my GSA meetings taught us actually was in the broader world. Every once in a while I meet someone who lived through that same time who remembers that theory, which tells me it had gained at least some traction if it was being discussed in multiple parts of the country, but... that's really it. And it's pretty unpopular theory nowadays, I get people calling me a scumbag and claiming that I say transmisogyny doesn't exist just for mentioning that the theory I was taught includes trans men in the discussion.
But I don't think it's specifically the whole TMA/TME thing. I think it's a lack of understanding of what oppression and what intersectionality are, how they operate, how they work, how we define things through them. There are many people who believe that men do not experience misogyny. But, they do, that's why it's an insult to a boy to call him a girl during a moment of femininity or vulnerability, as a means of calling him weak because girls are believed to be weak. There are many people who think intersectionality turns oppression into additives, as though stacking marginalizations like dnd buffs. This also falls apart because oppression is not like quick math where you add a +5 to every roll if any part of your identity is privileged and a -7 if any part is oppressed.
I've had people get mad at me for saying that straight people experience homophobia while we also have sitting politicians that make jokes on live TV about how they'd drown their (presumably straight) children if they found out their kids were gay. For saying that GNC cis people experience transphobia when butches are getting kicked out of bathrooms and drag queens are getting jumped in bars. For reminding people that when Sikhs are killed due to being mistaken for Muslim in this country that hates Muslims over a national tragedy our Muslim population did not cause, it's still considered and called Islamophobia, because just because Americans are too stupid to tell a Sikh from a Muslim doesn't mean they weren't spurred into that hate crime by their rampant hatred of Muslims and the sight of a turban and long beard.
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familyvideostevie · 1 month
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hey.
okay. hello! i'm back. :)
maybe you noticed, maybe not, but i have been away for a while.
i wish i could say i've been out living my life, so caught up in happiness and joy and loving each day that i've just not had time for tumblr. but....that is not true. i have been having a tough time! being away has been good, as i've had time to do other things that i like and to put energy into my own well-being, but it hasn't been the best time, I'll tell you that.
i peeked on the dash every now and then to keep my queue full and reblogged soothing things to my main blog and tried my best not to feel guilty about it all (i was also booping on April 1 lol). i just...I really needed a break. i've really enjoyed being here the last six or so months as i've changed my blog and entered the pedro/tlou space but i've also felt so, so alone.
and i know that it doesn't really matter!! like, we should all take breaks and go outside and all that stuff. and I know plenty of people are not very active, but this blog has been such a vital part of my life and happiness since I started it almost two years ago, so any lapse in activity feels like a loss. I've met lifelong friends and flexed my writing muscles and learned a hell of a lot. the fact that I have started to feel isolated and alone on here is a sort of personal betrayal, and there is no one to blame but myself.
So, I’m pulling back.
it means a few things — i don’t know how much writing I’ll be doing from now on. For Joel, especially — it’s been wonderful to meet folks in that community but it has also been really detrimental to my passion for both the game and writing. I’d like to return to some other characters on my masterlist, but we’ll see. I’ve got endless personal projects away from tumblr that I want to pour love and time into (my non-reader fics, my newsletter, a romance novel, a sci-fi novel, poetry, etc). I need to fall in love with my own work again.
it's a me problem, I want to stress that. i'm working on it! irl stuff has been kicking my ass. I've had a really, really hard winter and my mental health has suffered probably more than ever before. i let things I love -- like this blog -- fester and become negative and no longer being me joy. writing became stressful and difficult and I was focused on notes and interaction and looking around me and seeing success and then looking at myself and only seeing lack.
but that's why I took a break! i am getting help and support irl, i am putting in the time and effort to feel better about being alive and to be a better friend and person all around. And I want to tell you all about it because I am so grateful for your time and attention and support, even if we’re just strangers on the internet. i know this probably seems silly -- who cares about a fanfic blog? well, i care! i care a lot! it matters to me and therefore it matters!
anyway. on to the important stuff. here I am! and here's what's going to happen on this blog:
I am working on replying to asks and reblogs and comments I missed. Thank you for being patient with me! I don't know if I'll get to them all but know I see them and I am honored every single time.
I made a totally separate ao3 account with this blog url. I'm working on uploading everything I've posted here onto there and hopefully will continue to crosspost. It is going to take a long, long time, so please be patient! (you can follow my other ao3 here for my non x-reader fanfic).
I posted this fic! Jackson!Joel pulled me back into his world. It’s the first thing I’ve written in ages, so let me know what you think. as of now it's the last planned fic for that series, but who knows!
I hit a milestone while i was away that I am absolutely blown away by. I'm planning a celebration around it sometime this spring (hopefully) and I’d love to see you participate :)
lastly, thank you so much to my friends for letting me complain, whine, winge, etc. I am so sorry for missing all of your work, your celebrations, your bright energies, and all the rest. i am so sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you. you are my guiding lights, my silver linings, my touchstones. you make me want to be here. i will try to make it up to you!
I want to be online less but make sure I’m connecting more in the moments that i am here. I want to pressure myself to write less and not feel bad that I’m not engaged all the time. I want this blog to once again feel like a place that nourishes me and not sucks me dry. i want to stop feeling like shit about all of it!!!!
so. come hang out in my inbox, my dms, let me know what you've been up to. I am really sorry for missing so much. thank you for sticking around. <3
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fabuloustrash05 · 3 months
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My Top 5 Favorite TMNT 2012 Ships
5) Mikey x Renet
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I feel we as a fandom has come to an unanimous agreement that all the canon romances/couples given to us in the 2012 series are bad/toxic/poorly written/inc3st/etc with THEM being the only exception (I'll talk about that ship soon), however I think Renetangelo is the other exception.
They’re certainly not perfect with their first problem being Mikey kinda “cheating” on Renet with Shinigami (they weren’t together or officially dating so it’s not cheating, but it still felt wrong that it was never acknowledged that Mikey was pretty much a skirt chaser, crushing on two girls at once), but I still really love their dynamic and relationship. Mikey and Renet are undoubtedly cute together, just two silly goofballs having a fun time and enjoying the other’s company with the occasional flirting and kiss on the cheek (which btw SO CUTE). Renetangelo is that couple that I feel works great both romantically and platonically. If you told me they’re best friends, I’d believe it, if you told me they’re a couple, I’d also believe it. That's how well they work off each other. I'm okay with them being a couple or just being friends.
Season 5 also practically confirms they’re together on two occasions with Mikey saying him and Renet are in a long distance relationship in the When Worlds Collide special, and Renet hinting during the Halloween arc that she and Mikey have some kind of future together.
Overall, I really like Renetangelo and I love seeing these two together. From Mikey's puppy love expressions when he sees her to their overall personalities clashing so well together. This ship is very underrated and needs more love.
4) Slash x Alopex
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Btw this edit was made by @robins-treasure <33
Yes, this is a ship that exist and I take FULL CREDIT FOR THE CREATION OF THIS COUPLE! I AM THE REASON THIS SHIP IS ALIVE AND SAILING! YOU ARE WELCOME!!
Slash x Alopex (or what I like to call them Slaopex) is my rarepair of the 2012 series and I’m so happy that I’m slowly getting more and more people one board with it. It started off as just a random silly idea of mine, like "What if Slash got a gf?" and then I thought "Well, who could I ship him with?" and then my brain went "What if Slash and Alopex got together? That would be funny". I laughed at the idea, but the more I thought of it, the more I started to like it. I began coming up with headcanons and a story of their relationship, and the more I did that, the more I fell in love with this concept and the potential of this couple. So much that it placed 4th in my top 5!
I fell so in love with them I even ended up writing a short fanfic of how I headcanon they would first meet and the beginning of their blooming romance (you can read it HERE). But in short, Slash runs into Alopex during a late night patrol and helps her beat up some crooks who were attacking her. The two get to talking, sharing a tender moment before parting ways, with Alopex now being the only thing on Slash's mind <3
I also reference this ship a few times in my fanfic Courting a Salamandrian. Consider it a continuation of that little oneshot.
3) Leo x Casey
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While everyone else was shipping Jonatello, I was shipping Caseynardo! I was never a fan of Jonatello, I don't hate it, just couldn't get on board nor understand the hype around it, but then one day I stumbled across fanart of Leo x Casey and I thought "Huh... these two actually look cute together!" and quickly sunk into the rabbit hole. Looking up every little bit of fanart, fanfics and edits I could find.
Liking this ship this much for it to be ranked 3rd in my Top 5 favorite TMNT 2012 ships says a lot. This ship really grew on me very quickly, so much so that I wrote a fanfiction on them! I wrote a Caseynardo fanfic before writing a Renetangelo one (you can read it HERE), which is funny cause I've been shipping Renetangelo since the show was airing, and I didn't start liking Caseynardo till long after the show ended! That says a lot about how much these boy effected me! LOL
My whole HC for this ship is that they bonding a lot in season 3 at the farmhouse which led to a mutual romantic attraction. Eventually they secretly date without telling anyone but due to the circumstances and problems going on in Leo’s life, he was unable to keep the relationship going. They agree to just be friends, which Casey promising to wait for him. It’s basically the “right person, wrong time” trope. But I like to headcanon that by season 5, Leo and Casey finally get together officially and made their relationship known to everyone else. The only one not surprised was Raphael who knew about those two since day one, cause he was stuck being their third wheel/wingman XD
2) Karai x Shinigami
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I will NEVER forgive Nickelodeon for be too cowardly to make this happen. They'd rather ship inc3st and force Shini to be straight than give us our goth kunoichi lesbians. For shame, Nickelodeon... For shame...
Not to mention that one of the writers of the show, Peter Di Cicco, shipped them! Calling them his "OTP" and referring to Shini as "Karai's girlfriend", and even pitching an alternate ending to the series where Splinter and Shredder make up but the only thing they fight over now is who gets to walk Karai down the aisle during her wedding to Shinigami XD
The moment I saw Shinigami, I instantly thought "Oh that's a lesbian and she and Karai are a thing". I really love their dynamic, their friendship and the potential they have in being a cute couple of childhood friends to lovers. You can see how much they care about each other. The fury in Shini's voice when she confronts Super Shredder, "I will destroy you, Monster! For everything you have done to Karai!". Shini is supportive of Karai and is always the one down to start chaos with you. Makes me wish we could've learned more about these two and their history. I like to think they've known each other since they were little, being childhood friends while training and growing up in The Foot Clan.
My personal headcanon is that Shinigami has had a crush on Karai since they were young, like preteens, and is so loyal to her and willing to help Karai not just because she is her best friend but also because she loves her. However, she is scared to tell Karai how she really feels because she's worried she won't reciprocate and it'll ruin their long time friendship. Luckily, Mikey is there for support!
Not to toot my own horn, but I did write a fanfic relating to this concept that you can read HERE
1) Raphael x Mona Lisa
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What have I not already said about RaMona? If you follow me then you know full well that these two are my life. I’ve written multiple fanfics based on them on AO3 (LINK HERE) and have done a few analysis posts about them as well here on Tumblr. They have consumed my life. I love them so much!
Overall, I believe they are the healthiest ship the series offered us, and the best one in canon. I know some complain that they were rushed and how they got together too quickly, but in truth I can understand why Raph and Mona got into a relationship as quickly as they did. They are both warriors with the mindset of "I might die tomorrow" so it makes sense they'd be open and honest about their feelings right from the start just in case something happens to either one of them in battle. You only live once, you know? And I like how open Raph is when it comes to his feelings for Mona. From the very start, the moment he realized he liked her, never once did he deny it. Even when his brothers and friends laughed or scolded him, Raph proudly admitted he likes her with no ounce of shame. Mikey even points out that Mona is "bigger, stronger and a better fighter" than Raph and him responding by saying "Exactly! What a woman..." The boy does not care that she will be the pants in their relationship. He loves that she's stronger than him, bigger than him, a better fighter than him. We even see how excited he gets when she suggests training with him someday. Not to mention how we also learn in the show that these two have written love letters to each other during the course of the season 4 space adventures. Their personailties clash so well together. Both being strong willed warriors who put their loved ones first. Both can be stubborn and jump to conclusions quickly. We even see that Mona can have a short temper much like Raph. Both are ready to kick some ass with anyone who talks shit (Raph defending Mona but then Mona defending herself *chef's kiss*)
It's not talked about often among the fandom/shippers, but the fact that Mona is as much in love with Raph as he is with her is what truly makes this ship great. While the other 2012 ships make it unclear (writing wise) if the love interest truly feels the exact same way towards her Turtle she's shipped with, but for Mona her feelings are obvious. She's the one who makes the first move during all of their kisses/nose nuzzles, she's the one to say "I love you" first" and do I have to remind y'all of the push up scene? XD
These two are obsessed with one another. You can tell and see just how in love they are with one another. Even with only appearing in about 4-5 episodes, they truly left a major impact on shipping in this fandom. I feel it has come to a unanimous agreement that this ship is the best (canon) couple this show gave us. I love them, I love their relationship, I love what these two have done for the show and this fandom. They were able to bring back a classic ship from the 87 series and add so much more to them! I hope we get to see more of this couple in future generations. They certainly aren't a perfect couple, they got their flaws too, but overall they are truly the best couple in the 2012 series. <333
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yuri-is-online · 8 days
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I've read about Jade!Yutu, protective father go brrr. the part with Jade sitting with Yutu's friends like "you're not that slick. who do you think you got it from?☝️" the sass, man
Also! Grandaddy Crewel! his relationship with Yuu seems to be a "parent and child" kind in this au (and I am a SUCKER for this dynamic in the fandom). So to Yutu he's a grandfather figure? A mentor? I imagine the loss of Yuu and unborn child hit Crewel hard, and then apocalypse, and then becoming a leader of survivors, and then meeting some strange kid with magic from supposedly magicless world... Plus what's their relationship and/ or Prof's opinion when Yutu goes back in time?
(I beg you please make the term "granddaddy Crewel" official, please, please, please please!!!🙏)
With love😘, 📻 anon
Jade! Yutu post
Yes the idea for this au is that when Yuu is forced to stay in Twisted Wonderland the school collectively takes on their care, but Crewel really steps up to the plate because of he doesn't trust the other teachers as much as he trusts himself. He sees himself as a father figure to Yuu, even walked them down the aisle (suck it Trein). Losing Yuu and their unborn child was extremely hard on him, and depending on who Yutu's dad is it has the potential to get a lot worse; there is a chance he lost not just his child and first grandkid but his son in law too. But since we are talking about Jade... he's still alive and at the school, but very determined to not talk about his dead spouse and baby with anyone even though Crewel wants to. Maybe before Yutu comes home Crewel goes to Jade's bar and has a drink and a smoke at the end of the day and they have some small talk about the goings on at NRC. Both of them know why they're doing this but they still don't mention Yuu by name. Maybe they talk about stargazing a lot since that's a safe topic for both of them and just close enough for them talk about it without talking about it. It's safe, and completely interrupted by Yutu coming home with a chip on his shoulder and a dedication to acting out. It strains the equilibrium but when Yutu goes back in time...
"You knew didn't you." It's not a question, Crewel has never seen Jade really drink anything other than tea but he's made two cocktails tonight and only one is his usual order.
"Of course, he hasn't managed to outsmart me yet." His eyes crinkle softly, Jade looks old. "He's too much like Yuu for that." Older than he himself is, Crewel takes a long sip of his drink and looks down at the bar in silence.
"So we just wait then?"
"Not like we were doing much more before." Jade has never sounded this exhausted, and it hurts Crewel that things have reached this point. "Do you think they're waiting on us?" How nice of him to not just say "me" even though Crewel knows that's really what's on his mind. "I'm ready for this bad dream to be over."
That's probably the first time Jade has ever willingly told him the truth. If things were better, Crewel would laugh.
When I was putting together the au I was thinking about writing for the staff but knew I did not reeeeally want to do that with Yuu? So I was thinking about letting people make requests for them with similar rules to how I write Yuu (always gn, not like another anime character etc.) with a generic staff member fill in. I was thinking the school music teacher since we don't see one and I thought that would be really cute, but recently I have also really liked the idea of a random person living in Craneport who drops things off at the school on occasion. Maybe they're magicless just like Yuu is and also struggling to make ends meet, but there is just something about them that drives people like Crewel and Sam wild hehe~
Anyway one of the reasons for that was because I wanted to give the staff kids who would be friends with Yutu and go back in time with him. The one I became most attached to was Crewel's son Nero, who sees himself as Yuu's younger brother and Yutu's uncle. Yutu pretty much universally rejects this with one exception, Kalim! Yutu thinks Nero is great and is totally down to call him Uncle even though he's only like. 5 years older than he is. He sees it as a fun nickname more than anything and who really cares, family is family right? While he only has one or two memories of Yuu himself, Nero knows a lot about how badly his father was effected by loosing them and Yutu and has just as much of a motivation to see that never happen again. While Yutu isn't as fond of Nero he does see Crewel as a father/grandfather type figure who he trusts without question. As for calling him "granddaddy Crewel" ( ` ꒳ ´ )✧ that depends on the Yutu. Jade! and Riddle! Yutu absolutely call him that specifically to be a pain while Kalim! Yutu would out of love. Azul! Yutu would just call him Headmage since that's what he is and Floyd! Yutu calls him Professor Crewel since that's also what he is and he doesn't seem to like being Headmage that much.
Going back in time complicates things, Yutu has similar feelings towards Crewel as he does Yuu, and Crewel? Well I feel like he would treat them more or less in the same way he does Yuu but he'd be less patient with his fuck ups since he is a mage and should hypothetically know better than to pull some of the shit he does. Over all thought I think Crewel appreciates how much calmer Yutu is when compared to his other students, the general opinion of the staff about Yuu (and Yutu) is that they can be trusted not to cause trouble whereas the other students can't, which makes them the undeniable favorites to no one's suprise.
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netherworldpost · 1 month
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Wrote a blog post last night. First of many. Not on the site yet, needs editing and artwork -- finishing isn't the point -- pushing forward is the point.
Boxes coming. Prints coming. Postage cash awaiting both to combine into their final form: "Your parcel is out for delivery..."
I am winter-hungry starving for the joyous savagery of creating silly, soft, queer monster art and pairing it with silly, soft, every identity mail.
The latter is a shift. Mail is a collaboration. I make art for me, post it for you, hope we meet in the middle.
Mail is artistic collaboration.
Big. Small. Silly. Serious.
"Yes and."
Back to work. Investigating something called "Super Smash Brothers."
One of the long term projects I am working on is a poetry chapbook from the viewpoint of the Mario, Peach, Luigi, Chain Chomp, Bomb-omb, etc. and I just learned that there is a game where you can play Peach in battle.
Super Smash?
This world is full of amazing things.
Four years, I am haunted, I did The Business of Business to get back to this place where I am just now emerging.
I feel alive.
For the first time in four years.
I
feel
alive.
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stuckasmain · 1 year
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Cw: Suicidal intent/thoughts
There is a underlying sadness to Christian that seemingly goes unnoticed, both by his friends and the fans themselves. This is much more prevalent in the musical as it comes to a head with him nearly taking his own life on stage. Interestingly enough this was built up to throughout the show and not “just over a girl” though she plays a part in it. Christian is actually quite a sad figure when you look deeper into his character besides love sick American.
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He expressly states from the beginning arriving in Montmartre he came to find
“Where I could belong. Where my heart could be free. To be a child of the revolution! To be artist…to fall in love. To loose myself in the dazzling chaos of Montmartre. Everything I wanted to be etc”
He gives such a wistful monologue about this being the place he had dreamed of for so long. He knows exactly what the Denison’s are, what they do and stand for and he’s been longing for it. Christian is also aware the bohemian life is one not made to last- they burn passionately but are put out quickly. They die young. Be that by their own hand, addiction, murder, disease etc. He knows all of this and it’s what he wants. (My heroes have the heart etc. This is much later but much more direct and about artistic suicide).
Christian is a sensitive boy. We don’t know much about his life before arriving in Paris but what we do know is he studied music in school and that his father is a absolutely horrible man. One who he probably had to fight to even learn music, one who would do anything to beat the sweet and sensitive Christian into a “Real man”. From this we can probably gage his family is well off, upper-middle, enough to send him to boarding school or university. He views paris as a escape from his “Suffocating life in America” he wants to be wild and free and himself like all of his heroes— this is where he can truly live! Poverty or not.
When he meets satine he falls in love for the first time, in his narration he even admits to being irrational. She is everything to him. She’s his first real experience with human connection on a romantic level and I can suspect she knows far more about him than even Toulouse and Santiago. Satine is far more than his lover, she’s his everything- as cheesy as it sounds. Loving her makes life worth living. In come what may he quite literally states “suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste”. He’s not as naturally optimistic as everyone around him thinks- her love and the dazzle of the new world around him is what’s making him so, he’s riding that high. When he crashes? It’s hard. “Why else suffer through this life, if not for love?”
And yet, they all view him as a hopeful boy with his whole life ahead of him as if he hadn’t arrived in Paris to throw it away. To bury himself in a fast , passionate but short life of art and feeling. He’s here for a second chance, to give meaning to his life— he wouldn’t leave it behind this place is why he’s so happy and alive! Toulouse and Satine think he’s trapped here, think they drag him down etc while ignoring its expressly what he wants…this is what dooms them all. By trying to protect him, lie to him, “give him a chance” he’s getting hurt far more.
“Who came to Paris to find himself and instead found all of this. A place to belong, people to love, and a woman. A woman who showed him all that truly matters in life.”
Christian would rather live incredibly poor and with a moderate writing success that rich and unable to fully express himself. Something I love about johns performance is that during Roxanne “Feelings I canttttt hide!” He hits himself in the head- he’s both incredibly drunk but also tearing himself apart because he can’t hide how he feels even for a little bit and that always ends poorly. Even here- even a place so wild and open he messed things up, while he’s a very springy and optimistic character at times. I’m tired of this nuance and underlying sadness going ignored.
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do you know how much the way certain fans feel this sense of ownership of celebrities they love and relate to pisses me off and has for years?
like I’ve been a young teen in the days one direction was big. I’ve made mistakes and said things I don’t morally agree with to fit in when I’ve been asked about celebrity crushes, artists I like etc. I learned not to trust fanfics with celebrities in them because I’ve read enough that have made me uncomfortable often in hindsight even if I enjoyed them at the time (not saying we can’t do ethical fics, but this is just an area I don’t engage with and so I’m not an expert in). I’ve had to see the same thing happen, in smaller ways, to people I love who were successful at something or attractive or whatever and as a result the people around them didn’t grant them the freedom they deserve and have a right to.
if I think too hard about it I reflect on the fact I might’ve lost the closest person I knew to a soulmate to this: they left the toxic environment I knew them from, and I knew at the time even that I was a reminder of that time of them, I had to let them go. What I’m saying I guess is this is personal, I do know something of what it’s like, I’m not trying to make it impossible to be a fan.
because I also understand the feeling of ‘no one gets me but X, I’m alive because of X, I find solace in their music or other art form and I’d die for a chance to meet them and I know I’m obsessed as a trauma reaction I can’t just stop’
like all you have to do is remember they’re a person with trauma too. and they’re baring themselves to share that, an incredibly vulnerable thing, they’re trusting us to take care of them. millions of us often who get it and are strengthened because of it as we get through whatever we’re going through. the impact is profound. and this goes both ways.
I remember when Taylor released red and I remember that it was the lucky one that made me realise the way celebrity worship culture had infiltrated into my high school. I remember even then, the emotions of the song convincing me I’d support her if she did disappear from the spotlight. That penny dropped so long ago I can’t remember it but. It’s not easy to be vulnerable with people who go crazy over you and unless you’re real intentional about it and have great boundaries, it’s not sustainable. At all. And this is where it’s our responsibility like it is with the way we tread lightly (or need to, badly) on our planet: we need to adopt the same attitude for our celebrities. Especially the ones we love.
because can you imagine being thrust into that world when you yourself are a teenager, too young to know what boundaries even are? When you’re a teenager who’s from a background of obscurity and struggling to fit in as it is, hungry for love and validation and already used to working hard and beating yourself up at everything bad that happens that you may or may not have had any control over?
I can’t speak for the background of most celebrities but I do know what it’s like to grow up in western sydney in the early 2000s, creative and sensitive and likely neurodivergent in a world that doesn’t know what that is, in a world where we don’t think of ourselves as special or deserving of any sort of thing we might need, in a world where we survive by pleasing people and working hard. It makes for the most humble successful people you’ll ever meet who know how to have empathy and care and will probably work themselves—I know because I’ve done it—into the ground at any chance to have a meaningful difference in someone’s life.
and this is a trend that happens regardless of gender. women are objectified all the time, and as a society we’re starting to call that out. Good. If you’re trans people are weird and predatory all the time, and we’re starting to have conversations where we realise that. Good. And shaming people who are so horrible to such a vulnerable population. But if you’re a man, it doesn’t mean you’re immune to it. Especially if you’re good looking.
being a teenager in the 2010s means being part of a world and generation that was insane over boy bands and when you’re a teenager going through the things and finding comfort in music, you’re not all that powerful, just a vulnerable child. But we grew up, we’re in our 20s now, and we’re adults with power and we have to be conscious of that. Stalking is predatory behaviour, thinking back to the wedding people crowded outside of a month or so back. Recording someone in their private dressing room is predatory behaviour. These are things that if they happened to you, you would call the police, and if it continued, you would get a restraining order. Celebrities aren’t any different to you in that, except for the fact that this is normal fan behaviour to many apparently.
this needs to stop. If we want celebrities we can connect with to continue existing publicly we have to remember that they’re humans first. And go a step further: think about the fact that private jets are causing so much environmental damage and we have to do something about them. But celebrities can’t be normal people commuting where they have to go. They’re constantly on display and if you want to come across as a good person you have to be friendly to every fan. Even if you’re neurotypical, and many of our most talented are not, this is exhausting. Trust me when I say the best thing you can do for the environment, for the celebrities you love, for the music industry, anything, is treat them as normal people and connect with people who find comfort in their art like you do so you don’t feel alone: rather than thinking celebrities are yours to own in any way because of the impact they’ve had on you, and then being weird and gatekeepy at other fans.
this applies to any fandom really, but especially to those for celebrities who do decide to be vulnerable in their art. who tend to be kind with a tendency to people pleasing and possibly overwork too. who capture our hearts in so many ways and yes maybe their looks might play a part in it. who we’ve grown up with and maybe that means they started as kids too, had to learn boundaries the hard way and probably have still active trauma from that experience that’s impacting them and their personal lives because that’s what trauma does. who still decide to say nice things about how much they appreciate their fans all the time instead of ever taking it out on us.
but we can see their trauma in their songs when they are being vulnerable, and their success means that there are some of us who get it. A youth that was stolen and filled with mistakes/I turned all around look for someone to blame/but I’m over dramatic and drenched in my pain. I know I’m not the only one who that hit home for. So use your heads. You say you care and yet you turn people who care for you as much as they physically can when their fan base is in the millions into objects who exist for your own pleasure without thought to whether it’s hurting them. we need to do better.
(thank you @confusionmeisss for inspiring this rant)
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bcofl0ve · 5 months
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making of the masters of the air: a wwii museum event
will do my own “and supporters like you” pbs-core spiel since that’s essentially what they did at the beginning, speaking more so to my austin fandom folks here, shows like masters of the air wouldn’t exist without the bravery of the people they’re about and the people and organizations dedicated to keeping that history alive. this was free to watch but i threw $10 to the museum anyways and encourage y’all to match me and donate too if you’re able to which you can do here. $10 is like, 3ish days of coffee money! (which i say knowing that to some people $10 is a lot of money- but y’all know my heart.)
this is reminding me that i need to watch band of brothers and pacific over my winter break
watching the trailer again…anthony boyle you come to me as someone i picked apples with in papa’s orchard
kirk mentioned that they’ve been working on this for ten years and i didn’t know that!
first q was asking miller what pushed him to write mota: he talked abt growing up in a military family, said what pulled him towards writing about war is being interested in the stress of being under combat and mentioned reading a pysch case study book from someone who treated wwii air fighters for “combat fatigue” ie what we know now as ptsd.
“if you got to the sixth mission you had about a 0% chance of surviving”
talks about meeting a jewish pow named louis lovesky (might be spelling that last name wrong, will correct if i can figure it out) and that the first thing this guy said to him was that he could do 100 pushups and just dropped and did them- good for him!
.”when you’re hit in a plane whether you’re killed or not they strip your bed and your locker and send everything home” …was a prelude to a louis story about him being worried about him sending all his stuff home to his mom because he had a ton of condoms in his locker lol
“i was a virgin but i was very hopeful” - lou
over to kirk, talking about how they were originally working with hbo.
hbo came to them and said they wanted to do another wwii series and they were between a navy or airforce show. they initially thought about combining them but realized it wasn’t possible.
after reading mota closely it “became apparent” that was the way to go to story wise. cities the human detail and miller creating a whole visual descriptive world in his book.
“you make it so clear in your book, this is a form of combat that had never happened before and will probably never happen again”
“when we read masters of the air we read the story in the first part of the first chapter about the 100th bomb group…a group of guys who didn’t know each other before the war, and would’ve died for each other by the end of the war”
miller on why he chose egan and cleven to focus on: “i knew that men at the 100th bomb group just worshiped these guys, and they were so different. cleven didn’t like athletics, he didn’t drink, he was a one woman man and egan was the opposite, he was in the bars every night raising royal hell. totally different guys yet they bonded so closely together. they both get shot down at just about the same time.”
talking about rosenthal, says that was the guy he most respected. jewish kid from flatbush who loved the dodgers and loved jazz music. went to law school and aced it out, got a great job, and enlisted right after pearl harbor.: “as long as [hitler] he is running that country i’m flying my plane” ended up going home after getting shot down, got bored at his old law office and ended up going to be an attorney at nuremberg. (mollie note: i might be doing a study abroad program at the nuremberg next summer so this is super interesting to me). wanted to go the hangings because he thought it would be closure, said seeing them in prison clothing and gaunt etc it was closure for him. 
you can tell from how miller was talking that he truly admires rosenthal which i found very sweet.
kirk says egan and cleven reminded him of damon and pythias from greek legend, and rosenthal reminded him of galahad from arthurian legend.
austin butler name drop, turn up!!
kirk says making this differed from bands of brothers and pacific in that none of the men portrayed in the show are still alive so they didn’t get to meet them (save for miller), which meant the research was a lot more of an undertaking- but they did get to talk to some of their family members.
kirk talks about rosenethal’s grandson and son meeting the person that plays him in the show and how sweet that meeting was.
four primary locations during shooting and each was about the size of a small airport.
kirk talks about covid complicating things…i could not help but giggle a bit lol sorry austin
“one of the reasons i think this series works, hopefully, is the devotion to detail.”
kirk talks about bringing some of a local wwii museum staff on the ground in the uk to set and that they were very touched by how accurate was, a complement to the art and costumes department. 
miller mentions his first meeting with tom hanks and that tom was very insistent that everything that happened in the show had to have happened in real life and passionate about the accuracy
tom flew into small town pa to work at miller’s house and that his wife was very excited
they got tom at the airport and tom had suitcases of germany history books with him and 245 notecards and miller was like…dear god
kirk: this has to be the most difficult production, the logistics of this thing, says they’re still in post production even though it comes out in a month and a half.
kirk mentions john orloff and says when they invited him to join the project he threw himself into it completely
says john's challenge with the book was figuring out how to adapt in a way that was dramatically coherent
miller says john called him and they talked about gale cleven for like 8 hours, miller mentions being the only one that met any of them
kirk asks miller about meeting harry crosby, who is played in the show by anthony boyle and recommends his book “a wing and a prayer”, says he had a good sense of humor.
gale cleven got a phd in astrophysics and went on the be a president of a college (and an alcoholic, as miller tacked on at the end there lol)
two themes in the series:
the irony that war is impossible without love: why do they do it? they do it for each other. war is impossible without the love of the men for each other in impossible circumstances
how do those men keep getting back into those planes?
miller wanted to get away from the idea of “push button warfare” and that taking viewers inside the plane is an important part of that
seeing the missions reproduced, seeing the panic and fury and chaos inside the planes. there are no foxholes in the sky, where do you go? trying to take care of injured men mid air being hit, having to hit back etc etc, “it’s unbelievable what they suffered, the germans came so close they could see the eyes of the pilots”
the camera men had a tough time moving around inside the planes, speilberg had two b17s built from scratch which took 11 months. they built a 3rd one that allowed the camera men to go in the plane and film the close ups more easily.
kirk asks what separates it from just another combat story
providing some sort of context w/o being didactic. why? how do you answer the why without lecturing? 
audience questions, i missed the first one bc my browser crashed but i think someone asked if they filmed in actual flying planes?
which of course was a “well no”
kirk mentions there was dedication from everyone, from austin and calum to the set PAs
miller mentions looking at the labels on things in the bar and the papers in the office folders and how *everything* was accurate
2nd question asking how the fire fights were produced: kirk says some visual effects are still being worked on, gives very high praises to the special effects team.
mentions 100s and 100s of video screens creating what the environment would be outside of the airplanes to help the actors visualize it
miller says they filmed a plane landing by putting one of the b17s they built on a crane
3rd question is about airpower in wwii, miller talks about how in the beginning of bomb warfare it was extremely ineffective, says we evolved from that to doing serious damage on the german economy by hitting german oil.
miller starts to talk about something he was working on with kirk earlier in the day and kirk says we’re keeping that a secret, lol i wanna know what they were talking about! 
kirk mentions the psych impact of it going from 25 missions, to oh now it’s 30, oh now it’s 35. the guys knowing they were being used as bait to bring up the german fighters- that psych is what makes this more than just another adventure story
miller talks about how getting the guys mentally right to go back up into the planes they made them that way in the first place was quite the dilemma, when the only thing that could cure as guy really was saying you don’t have to fly again.
4th question “how much did this cost” lol
“let’s just say we’re over budget”
5th question about the ages of the actors vs the guys they played: kirk says one of the considerations was there being something about the young men of that time having to grow up fast, 24 then appeared a lot older than 24 today because of life experience.
says you tend to cast older for the believably.
miller told a very funny story about tim van patten creating a model of one of the battles with toys in the middle of the night.
hi hbo war and history tumblr friends, this is an austin butler blog run by someone with a hyperfixation for being an update blog and doing event coverage, so/but do feel free to come hang out as we enter the masters of the air era. i'll be covering every event like this that i can and am super excited for the show- i was at one point on americanrev/john laurens tumblr and am almost suprised i never ended up an hbo war "stan", though that might change here soon!
tags: @superbdinosaurharmony @purejasmine
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virtie333 · 1 year
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One Year Ago
I almost didn't post this. I wrote it for catharsis, but a friend said I should post it as it may help others. I can count on one hand the number of people who know about this. I don't know, maybe I'll delete it....
One year ago today, while cleaning Chester’s paddock, I made plans.
A few days earlier, I had received an email from my brother-in-law that involved some very hurtful and offensive accusations. My sister responded a few days after that, but not with an apology. She defended him, and added her own opinions.
When someone you have loved and trusted your whole life essentially says you are worthless, then it must be true.
So, the next day, I made plans.
I would have to complete my will, first. I would have to make sure Chester went to a local rescue. He wasn’t ridable and though I know a friend might take him as a ‘pasture pet,’ if push comes to shove and they ran short on money, he would be the first to go. The rescue would care for him, and I would make sure that if ever they could no longer do so, they would euthanize him.
My brother would get the other animals and all my belongings. He could sell my truck, trailer, etc. and use the funds to care for my dog Jackson, my cat Rodney, and Stache, the barn cat I had just brought home from work a month earlier. He would take care and love them.
It would have to look like an accident so my life insurance would pay out. God forbid my sister would have to pay for my funeral! I am an avid hiker, and there are trails very close that follow the canyon rim, with a 60 to 100 foot drop straight down. I usually hike with Jackson, but I could say I was leaving him home because he was sore. It would be very easy to slip while checking out the view. It’s happened before up there.
Could I actually do it? Was I brave enough? It was the only way. And I needed to do it soon.
That was my plan.
But wait. I can’t do it right away. Moon Knight just started, and I waited so long for this show and it’s even better than I had hoped and only two episodes have aired so far. I really want to see the rest. It takes my mind off the pain. I’ll wait.
Then I started posting a new story I had written. I didn’t think it would be very popular, as it was very different from my last, popular one, but I have loyal readers. I can’t just leave it unfinished, and have them wondering what happened to me. And I can’t post it all at once, because that will give away the fact that it was planned. So, I’ll wait.
An acquaintance that hated Moon Knight complained and criticized it over and over and I finally broke. I said things. I don’t regret them, because they were the truth, but I immediately became the villain to the rest of the group. Once more, I was reminded that I was unimportant, that my thoughts and feelings were inconsequential. How could I tell them? How could I explain this show literally kept me alive?
So, I waited.
A spark of hope. My brother and I worked toward a future we could both live with. I prayed, and found that I began to believe again for the first time in a long time. The story I was posting, the one I thought would not do well, became my greatest hit. Not only did its success thrill me, but once again, I had something to thank for keeping me alive.
Though low on funds, I made a trip west, to California, to meet up with my best friends in the world. They were the only people I told about my plans. They made sure to let me know how grateful they were I hadn’t followed through. I loved every minute of Galaxy’s Edge and I continued to hope for a better future. And I waited.
The hope was realized just before Christmas. My future wasn’t as dark and scary as it had been. Unfortunately, the loss of Rodney just before New Years kept me down. I was still depressed and full of non-stop anxiety, and on the anniversary of my mother’s death, I once more started falling into that darkness. I left a group I cared a great deal about because I realized a lot of my anxiety was coming from there; it’s hard caring more about people than they do about you. I bawled my eyes out while I clicked that ‘leave’ button, but I don’t regret it. It’s been over two months and only two people have even noticed I left. That says something right there.
Now, for the first time since Tariq got very sick in November 2020, I actually have the desire to do things. I’m not working and writing just to keep sane. I’m reading again. I’m playing with Chester. I’m taking Jackson on walks. I’m going back to mass, not because I have to but because I want to. I still resent my brother-in-law, and I’m still waiting for an apology from my sister, but I’m not holding my breath. I’m still alone. I’m still uncertain of my worth. But I have my animals, including two new cats, and my home. I have plans. New plans. Better plans.
One year ago today, while cleaning Chester’s paddock, I made plans.
But today I’m alive. And I’m happy. All because I waited.
Don’t give up. Things WILL get better.
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languajix · 2 months
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Hold Every Memory: The Soundtrack
I don't think it's particularly subtle that I've been using song lyrics for the titles of these fics, but here are the sources for the ones so far, with a little bit of explanation/thoughts:
Hold Every Memory as you Go
Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth - See You Again
It's been a long day Without you, my friend And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again We've come a long way From where we began Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
Donatello, telling his brothers what he's been up to. They have come a long way from where they began, back in their world, together.
So let the light guide your way, yeah Hold every memory as you go And every road you take Will always lead you home, home
The 'lights' being the threads of light that lead him to connect with his brothers, and the hope that they will eventually lead him home. This song was, obviously, the first one picked (and at the time, the only one ever intended). It's the general feeling I wanted to capture in the fic, and the series overall. Something positive, a little melancholic.
I'll Carry You Home (No, You're Not Alone)
Paradise Fears - Battle Scars
This is an anthem for the homesick, for the beaten, the lost, the broke, the defeated A song for the heartsick, the standbys, living life in the shadow of a goodbye
Donatello is homesick. Lost. Living life in the shadow of a goodbye he was never able to give.
Do you remember when we learned how to fly? We'd play make-believe; we were young and had time on our side. You're stuck on the ground, Got lost, can't be found Just remember that you're still alive
The first two lines of this remind me of the passage from Ghost in the Shell where they talk about the kids playing King of the Hill on the dumpster. How big New York seemed back then.
I'll carry you home No, you're not alone Keep marching on, This is worth fighting for You know we've all got battle scars You've had enough, But just don't give up Stick to your guns, You are worth fighting for You know we've all got battle scars Keep marching on
As a song for Michelangelo and Donatello, I wanted something hopeful.
'Cause Your Future's Ready to Shine
Owl City - When Can I See You Again
Switch on the sky and the stars glow for you Go see the world 'cause it’s all so brand new Don’t close your eyes 'cause your future’s ready to shine It’s just a matter of time before we learn how to fly
It's been fun but now I've got to go Life is way too short to take it slow But before I go and hit the road I got to know, 'til then, when can we do this again?
The kidfic! I was looking for something really upbeat for this one. I like the echo of 'learning how to fly' from Battle Scars. Both the adults and the kids have a lot of life to live in between their meetups, but every time they part, they can't wait to see each other again!
Don't Hold Back (Just Shout It Out)
Mariette - Shout It Out
Why keep it in when you can say it? Why think again when you can change things? Don't hold back (Just shout it out) Why make it hard and complicate this? So many hours that you'll be wastin' Don't hold back (Just shout it out)
Something something, the shouting scene, Raph yelling/punching Don which led to the breakthrough, etc. Not super happy with this one, but I couldn't find a song that really hit me as The Right One...
-----
I do have some more songs on the playlist, and I'm always looking for more:
-The Space Between from the Descendants 2 soundtrack. I was listening to the soundtrack again the other day and it just hit me like a freight train:
I know you have to stay (But I'll never really leave you) Nothing has to change (Even though we've changed)
And you can find me in the space between Where two worlds come to meet I'll never be out of reach 'Cause you're a part of me so you can find me in the space between You'll never be alone No matter where you go We can meet in the space between
I don't even have any commentary on this one because it just sums up the entire essence of things. I think I might be using a line from this as a title for the Leo fic? I've got to think about it.
-Pompeii by Bastille. If I were ever to write anything solely from the perspective of one of Donnie's brothers, or anyone on the SAINW side, I'd pull a title from this song 100%.
And the walls kept tumbling down in the city that we love Grey clouds roll over the hills, bringing darkness from above
But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all? And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you've been here before? How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
-The Call by Regina Spektor.
I'll come back when you call me No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning It's just a feeling and no one knows yet But just because they can't feel it too Doesn't mean that you have to forget Let your memories grow stronger and stronger 'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you No need to say goodbye
I think this might be a contender for the finale part. (...this AU keeps growing every time I turn around, though, so don't take this as a sign that anything is ending anytime soon.)
Anyways, that was a lot more revealing about my general music taste than I think I meant for it to be. Ah well. If anyone has any recommendations on other songs that generally fit this AU, I'd love to hear them!
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7, 8, and 11 from the thingy that you rb earlier
:))
OG List
(I apologize in advance for the long answers, I just love answering stuff like that and I have a lot to say :] )
7. Your favourite tropes to read/write/draw
(I love them all the same, but it is slightly different for each, so I'm making a destinction)
Read: Honestly, kidnapping. I love characters getting kidnapped, and their loved ones worrying/rescuing them. This also includes more-or-less any type of 'going missing'-plot (incl. Char A just running away themselves). Just the feeling of "I have no idea where or how they are, and if they're even still alive", and then the relief when they meet again. Hmmm
Write: 'The world has been cruel and hard to you - therefore I won't be. I want to show you the beauty it has to offer, too <3' This is the best way I can describe it. Characters who've just had a rough time/life being unconditionally cared for and supported. Getting everything their heart has desired for so long. Short: Hurt/Comfort
Draw: While I have yet to draw this myself, actually (because humanoids are hard), any drawing of one character being hurt or scared, while another stands over them caringly and protectively - obviously willing to kick some ass if needed - has me go wild.
8. You hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)
I understand that some people find the market oversaturated by now - that's valid - but still: Redemption
I love redemption so much. I want the story to gently cup a character's face and say "You are broken, but not beyond repair. You can get better, and be happy, and be surrounded by people you love and that love you back." They don't even necessarily need trauma or have gone down a super dark path, I also enjoy: "Character is a massive jerk, and we follow them down the road of being less of a jerk". These are honestly the main reasons both the 'Good Uncle Sly' and 'Apple Cousins' AUs exist.
There are few exceptions I can think of, of villains I'm personally obsessed with, and have not made a version of, where they are redeemed. I look at Reginald Bushroot, and Camille Chameleon, and the Dark Curse - and while for some more than others - there will usually be something at the back of my mind asking: "What if you didn't have to? What if you found love? What if you got to live a quiet, gentle life? What if one day you realized you live in a reality you would never have imagined come true? In a good way? What if everyone could be okay?"
Just
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Redemption
11. If you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?
Fic: Family Discount
I was honestly surprised how many people liked that fic. Between 11 fics in total, this one definitely has some of my favourite comments (and it also has a surprsing amount of comments, I didn't expect that tbh). I was a little worried about posting a fanfic chapter-by-chapter, because the last time I tried that I basically (though not officially yet) stopped after one, because I can't write slice of life, it seems.
But so many people got emotionally invested in my writing, and I honestly didn't expect that? But even though I'm forced to take a semi-long break (for exam reasons), it is extremely motivating, and makes me feel that (as vague as it sounds), my stories do do something. How much joy the stuff you make can bring other people, is honestly so cool. Even if it's just a little fanart, or an ask, or a slightly-self-indulgent fanfic :)
I'm proud of having actually got this far, and also having written something me and other people love to read
Art:
I'm actually a little embarassed of this drawing, which I know sounds counter-intuitive to the prompt, but I swear, there is a reason it's here!
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This is my first, and currently only drawing of the Flim-Flam-Brothers
I had basically no idea what I was going to do with their designs, and I also only had 60min, with limited tools (because Colormari)
But the thing about this drawing, was that our prompt was basically just "New Years Resolutions". And mine was that I wanted to create more art, without getting bossed around by my inner sense of cringe. Because, while I have absolutely no problem with ranting and rambling and talking about my favourite characters all over the place; as soon as I want to put them into any form of art, my organs feel like they'll turn me inside out. It's the reason this blog has dozens of rambles about how much I love Darkwing Duck, and yet zero art of any of its characters (made by me).
But I made this - and kept it around - even though I knew the characters wouldn't look the best.
So this is the drawing I'm most proud of, because it actually exists :)
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cutebutalsostabby · 2 months
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Hi, CBAS. I have a LoZ thought I've been mulling for awhile and I'm curious about your thoughts, since you have a strong grasp of LoZ canon and LU/fanon interps.
There have long been rumors that Capcom intended the Oracle games to be sequels to the Ocarina of Time. Ninty made them sequels to ALTTP since they were working on MM. There is definitely a lot linking the Oracle games to OoT -- Zelda's appearance is much more similar to OoT than ALTTP, 'ages' and 'seasons' tie in with theme of time and its passage, the cutscene showing Link on a horse (epona), the presence of the Maku Trees (big one, in my mind), etc.
The question I've been pondering is, if we took the Oracle games away from Legend and gave them to Time (I guess the LU characters, but even broader than that if you want), do you have any thoughts on how it would affect the characters?
I think Time would be more affected, but it would take away Legend's 'veteran' status since his adventure count would be more similar to other Links. Time, meanwhile, would have had four quests, all of which would deal with time manipulation... Hmm. Maybe meeting other Maku Trees would have been good for him, though. Anyways, I'd love to hear someone else bounce the idea around with their thoughts, if you feel inclined!
Huh - I've heard of the Oracles games being connected with Zelda 1, but not with Ocarina of Time. That's really interesting!
There are a few lore things that wouldn't make as much sense that way, e.g. the whole thing with Twinrova attempting to resurrect Ganon (as opposed to Ganondorf being sealed away in the Twilight Realm) - though the fact that Twinrova are alive at all does make more sense in the Child Timeline than in the other two. I almost wonder if those games should be shifted to Twilight or Four instead. But anyway.
One thing that strikes me with those two quests is that they are LONG. 8 dungeons each, with some of the most difficult final boss fights in the series, and long enough to watch Bipsom grow from a newborn into a talkative child (or really, a grown man?? Idk. They grow up so fast). So that's a lot of adventuring experience to pass between the two. And items! You get SO many new items in those games! Suddenly, Time is the one with a tool for everything. Coolest of which is the Switch Hook, in my view. And he gets all the magical rings! Including (optionally) the one that lets him turn into Hyrule lol. And of course, the Mermaid Suit.
I'd also say that there's a lot less horror in those games compared to some others in the series? Not that there's none at all, but it feels much more hopeful than say Link's Awakening. And considering Time really didn't have much of a home once he left Kokiri Forest: maybe it would actually be really good for him? You make a lot of friends along the way after all. I reckon he and Ralph would get along. And Dimitri (lovely, sweet, Dimitri). Also, you meet Malon in Oracle of Seasons! If this is OoT!Link, then it might be the first time she meets him in that timeline, even Time already met her in a different one. And there's a mask maker in Oracle of Ages with a similar look but VERY different personality to the one from OoT and MM; wonder how Time would feel about that?
Another thought: if Time gets the Oracles games, does he also get Link's Awakening? Because I kind of like the flow of ALTTP to Oracles to the game that takes a bunch of assets and characters from those games and jumbles them up into a dream world, and so if you shift Oracles, there's an argument to move LA as well. And THAT would be interesting. Both because shifting it over removes a lot of the argument for Legend's bitterness, and that I think that quest would hit differently for Time. I mean, considering Marin is basically dream Malon, and that she's so determined for him to wake up and survive that she's willing to sing to the Windfish herself, consequences be damned: maybe that's when Time has his "oh" moment. 👀
That's all that immediately springs to mind. Hopefully it helps? Good question!
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merakiui · 2 years
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Hii! I’ve seen a lot of amazing concepts here (Android Scaramouche, Yandere Xiao who loses his darling etc.) AND THEYRE ALL JUST SO GOOD. Honestly I’d love to hear your thoughts on Yan Childe and incredibly rich, villainess type character. She has the body to rival gods, and yet it’s hidden behind dresses. Their first meeting could be something like that one Incredibles scene where they both dine in the volcano!
Something that came to my mind while reading your ask was hitman!Childe, whose next mission is to get rid of a wealthy, newly elected mayor. He’s seen you on television before when he bothers to watch it during the rare instances where he’s afforded a break. Childe has never been interested in what a target’s like or who bothered to pay for the hit. As long as he gets to carry out his dangerous missions (which never go to plan), he’s content remaining somewhat oblivious. That doesn’t mean he won’t put in the effort to know background information. Only what’s necessary so that he can determine to best and fastest way to kill them.
You’re an enigma of sorts. When he hears you’ll be dining one on one with a CEO from Liyue, he easily slips through undetected. All it takes are a few artfully crafted lies, a fine suit that’s worth more than the hostess makes, and he’s being led to the private room, which rests directly under a volcano and allows everything in the room to bathe in molten crimson. He sits across from you, a debonair grin tugging at his lips.
You don’t seem suspicious when you greet him with a smile of your own. In fact, you treat him like the CEO and Childe can’t help thinking just how easy this is. How can you expect to survive the world of politics if you can’t even recognize a threat?
Dinner is deliciously safe, as expected of someone who prefers private, trustworthy chefs. Childe settles back in his chair, raises his wine glass to his lips, and peers through the glass at you. You smile again and the red shadows paint you in bloody auras.
“That’s enough play-acting, Mr. Tartaglia.”
He lowers his glass, watching you with his calculating blues. What’s your angle now? Did you poison his food? Is something in the wine? Are you secretly an assassin like him and you’re both meant to kill each other?
Childe leans back in his seat, brows raised. “What makes you say that, dear? I thought you were enjoying it.”
You laugh, but the humor doesn’t reach your eyes. “If I wanted someone to lick the tip of my heels and lavish me with praise, I’d turn to those desperate to please me.”
“What a shame. I had an arsenal of compliments suited to your taste.”
“I’ll be upfront with you, Mr. Tartaglia.” He tilts his head at you, a portrait of innocent curiosity. “I was the one who hired you and I fully expect you to kill me. If you can, that is.”
“You think I can’t?” Childe challenges with a frown. “Don’t let the volcano fill your head with too much hot air, Miss Mayor.”
“I’m not the type who would die easily. Those before you weren’t very skilled at killing, yet they claimed to be renowned killers. It really tarnished my fun.” Pouting, you steeple your hands and peer at him through lidded eyes. “You’re different.”
“How flattering. And you think I’ll die just like those who came before? You’re quite the court jester.” He toys with the silverware, raising the fork until it catches the light. “To think the mayor got off to fear… I should have capitalized on this interest sooner.”
“Hah! What’s wrong with a little game of cat and mouse?” Mirroring his actions, you point a butter knife in his direction. “We sit on even playing ground. Both of us are experienced killers.”
“‘And only one of us is intended to walk out of this alive.’ That’s what you wish to say, isn’t it?”
“Precisely.” You rise from your seat and stride over to him. Placing your hand on the table, you lean in until your lips are mere centimeters from his ear. “Show me a good time, Mr. Tartaglia. I’d love to see what you’re capable of.”
“It would be rude not to.”
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harrietmjones · 1 year
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Predictions for future 1899 episodes
I just thought I’d write down my predictions/thoughts (again!) on what my mind has conjured up as possible theories for the future goings on in the show.
I did a similar thing as I was watching S1.
My mind went all over the place with this, so they may have some logical holes in them or they may not be in keeping with the show but just thought I’d share, as a bit of an experiment to see how right or wrong I am if/when the show comes back.
I will probably look back on all these and think how silly I was to think them!
Everyone in Maura’s room on the space ship were part of some coup or uprising (or something similar) and so they were eventually sent to be in suspended animation together.
I think there’s more to Mrs. Wilson than meets the eye. It might be how she’s being played by Rosalie Craig, as in it’s the actor, not the character giving her that particular edge but there’s just something about her that’s a secret.
There’s something ‘negative’ in Maura and Eyk’s relationship. Just how she reacted after she woke up and saw him, I watched it for the first time, and thought it was extreme relief why she backed up as she did, like she couldn’t believe he was alive, when she had not long seen him ‘die’. However, there just seemed to be something else going on that I felt could be read as something negative, that he’s not exactly as we’ve seen him so far. I really hope this isn’t the case, just where my pessimistic, dark mind went.
Same thing as above, there’s a possible negative part of their relationship but instead, maybe Maura is the guilty party. Maybe she’s tyrantesque and Eyk is just a soft, sad meow-meow or something.
Reality is another simulation. So, it’s either the ship was a simulation in a simulation, like Inception or the opposite (kind of), where reality is actually a further simulation, deeper in everyone’s minds. Maybe the reason that Daniel may not be there, is because he’s never gotten that far into Maura’s mind before, the ship was the furthest he managed to get to. @veturdraugur actually has had the same thought as me, here.
The whole show, everything we see, is actually in the mind of Ciaran, a dreamlike state and world that all stems from him. He’s the ‘creator’. Maybe all the characters existed at one point in reality or maybe they are all not real but are now just code in a machine. Also, he’s Irish, which I only thought would be the case because of his name for starters but also Daniel saying to Maura that her name’s Irish, even though she’s not.
Ciaran is a twisted guy, who might have made Daniel (if the theory of Daniel and Elliot being simply code is true), so he could have an accepted relationship with his own sister, without threatening too much of the balance of things (I can’t see incest being the case but…).
Both Ciaran and Maura aren’t real. Maybe the both of them are separate programs, designed by another, connected through a tech experiment of some kind. It would be similar to how the tunnels on the ship were separate but also all connected and how Maura mentioned how the memories on the ship were placed in a way, that was like the wirings and connections in the brain. The experiment could be something along the lines of, “What makes us human?” and it started as a way to demonstrate how an organic mind/brain and a synthetic mind/brain, if you can make both experience the exact same things, feel the same emotions etc. then how different can one be from machine, what is it that makes us, human?
Each pod on the spaceship, represents an element in alchemy, given that the characters we’ve seen have had the symbol for Earth dotted amongst their ship simulation: 🜃.
Similar to the theory above but the characters that we’ve seen, they may go into other simulations which are representative of other alchemical elements such as: Air (🜁), Fire (🜂) and Water (🜄).
Maura and Daniel are genuinely married and they do have have their son, Elliot together but for some reason, which would explain why she wasn’t drawn to them as she has been with Eyk, is that she removed her emotions towards them, for different reasons. It kind of works with the whole humans are weak because of their emotions, that Henry Singleton’s mentioned and the studying of the human brain, human behaviour etc.
Same as above (and kind of connected), Maura and Daniel are married, they do have Elliot together and the reason why she can’t remember or have feelings towards Daniel and Elliot, is because she erased it all from her brain. The reason she did so, is that maybe she’s responsible for Elliot’s death through experiments on him and got ill/died or would alternative, he was going to die anyway but she began experimenting on him, which would have probably sped things up unintentionally. She wanted to get rid of the hurt of her child dying and anyone associated with it aka. a husband. This theory kind of began because of seeing one of Maura’s flashes being a brain and that hasn’t happened yet.
Daniel and Maura simply worked together, in a similar way to what’s been said/shown in the show but that’s it. They’re not married, there’s no Elliot, it’s all a simulation created because Daniel is in love with Maura in reality but she’s married to Eyk.
Mrs. Wilson is the boss lady aka. the captain, the leader of some group of fighters etc. This is from me thinking she’s a little sus and also her positioning on the spaceship being ahead of both Eyk and Maura (and everyone else).
Everyone is a patient at a mental institution, where experiments are carried out in them. They’ve round my signed themselves away in some form. Their room numbers on the ship, are the same as their room numbers in the institution.
I’ve got some other theories that I haven’t written down. I’m probably not so strong in thinking some of these theories now, after a while of them sitting in my drafts and then my queue.
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