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inspired by the prompt by @danphanwritingprompts:

Danny narrowed his eyes as the Uber arrived at the church, and he finally remembered the occasion. “Wait, Mom? Did we just pregame Vlad’s funeral?” Danny asked. Maddie scowled. “Shut up and act sober. For some reason, your dad loved that miserable creep,” she told him. “It’s the only way to get through the day,” Jazz agreed, fumbling to open the door and step out.

and some other headcannons that I've seen float around tumblr about trans Danny fic below cut if you dont wanna follow the link.

Looking out the window was making him nauseous, like really really nauseous. The kind of nauseous he only got when sick or from a good punch. He knew a thing or two about good punches. He’d been taking them for a few years now.

It really wasn’t fair if you asked him. One should ask him because it was an experience that only he could experience. After all, halfa's were rare as can be. Skulker had certainly told him enough for him to know. Every brush with alcohol in his younger days was, well, a mixed bag. He processed it faster than the average person so he was lucky in that aspect that he got drunk faster. But if anything his messing about with alcohol before he was 21 told him it was that it also left much faster than normal. Bullshit ghost rules and all of that. Genuinely being a ghost even half one had very few upsides. Some people online speculated about how cool ghost powers must be to have but clearly none of them knew about the burden that it came with. Sometimes he still wished that he didn’t know.

However this time for whatever reason the alcohol was hitting him and staying. Maybe it was because the previous times he’d been drinking cheap party booze in Dash’s garage with Sam and Tucker, no one but the three of them aware that they were even there. Instead this time the booze was some semi expensive shit, he didn’t know the name or type but he’d been promised quality. Why he of all people was being given quality alcohol he'd never know but he wasn’t going to turn it down.

That being said seemed the trade off was intense nausea. It wasn’t that bad all things considered, he actually preferred being sloshed for the upcoming event but his body was not agreeing with that. Not that his body agreed with a lot of things. The disagreement between ghost and human sometimes really bit him in the ass. His head was floaty, the world in front of him was spinning badly, maybe it’d be worth it to never drink again. Especially if he was going to have this reaction . If only he’d invited Sam and Tucker. They were great fun and always knew how to reel him in. Man he missed them, if only they didn’t all go to different colleges. But nooo all of their majors just had to have few overlapping colleges. At least they were all within a drives (or in his case a flying) distance. When he wasn’t feeling too sick and unbalanced he’d have to fly over to their dorms for a movie night. It’d be nice. Sam might even be able to get them into someplace cool again.

In a stagnant attempt to push the feeling away he turned away from the window and towards his family. Jazz was studying a text on her phone. Probably a message from her girlfriend at university. Maybe she was inviting her. That’d be nice. She seemed nice when he’d saved her as Phantom a month ago, then everyone was nice when their life had just flashed before their eyes and they were rescued from it’s visions. Even when he and Valerie were on the worst of terms he was always grateful when ever she rescued him in either form. Bar Johnny 13 his sisters' taste in partners wasn’t actually all that bad. He actually liked her last girlfriend. Even then with Johnny he wasn’t sure how much of that was actually her taste and how much was Kitty’s possession.

Certainly Jazz’s apprehension couldn’t be blamed, three of her previous partners both highschool and college were driven away by how weird their family was. She claimed she was fine with it, something about them not truly accepting all parts of her but still. That sucked. School had been rough enough, he couldn’t even count the amount of people that had been weirded out from being his friend because of his parents. Well there was also his reputation but his parents being renowned ghost hunters and chaotic town kooks certainly did not help. Looking back on it more of that might have actually been on his reputation. A nerd with A+ grades until highschool only to then end up with Ds on the best of days and bruises on the worst. Yeah some of that was probably on him.

Jazz gave him a look, he’d spaced out and looked at her for too long, it was weird now. He gave her a shrug and turned to their mother.

Laughing would be rude; he had to remind himself when he spotted her dancing along to the car radio in her dorky adult grooving. It was peaceful in a way. A down time he didn't usually get to appreciate before something bad (normally ghosts) interrupted. It was almost nice in a way to be calm with his mom and sister. Even if the former looked really really stupid.

He snorted anyway at his mom’s dance moves. Discombobulated shoulder jerks and little hand motions mixed in with little head rolls that had no rhyme or reason. It was wildly out of beat and didn’t match the tone of the song on radio. It was definitely the kind of dancing that Tucker would disparagingly call “white people shit”. The thought alone of Tucker's pain at his parents' dance moves was almost enough to send him into hysterics.

Man he missed Tucker.

He’d have to check in on Tucker soon, since he started the latest school assignment he’d sort of ghosted everyone, for the lack of a better word. It was probably the stress of dealing with his assignment partners, he’d done the same last time. Still… in a town and world with ghosts it couldn't hurt to try to check in on him. Tuck was a big boy now he could hold his own in a ghost fight but he didn’t like the idea of leaving him to it. Call him what you will but obsessions were just like that.

Maybe he was a little possessive.

Just a touch.

“Oh Danny!” his mom squealed as a new song filtered in. The Uber driver rolled his eyes, clearly he thought no one could see him but Danny caught it in the rear view mirror. ” I love this song, isn't it rad!”

He tried not to laugh, he really did, but it was so ridiculous. His parents were doing this on purpose! They had to be! There was no way that they weren’t no one was that out of touch. That behind on lingo. Warm giggles and chuckles bubbled forth, messy and loud. The kind of laugh only those closest to him could coax out of him. Back in school it was only Tuck and Sam that got him to laugh like that (maybe Jazz if she was lucky) make him lose his composure so quickly, but more and more readily his parents had been able to also force the laughs out of him.

If only fourteen year old him could see him now. He’d be so embarrassed. Sitting in the back of an Uber laughing openly at something silly his mom was doing. She said something he couldn’t catch, teased him probably for laughing. A random pop song and the air coming in from the drivers open window were just loud enough to cover even a raised voice. Even still the there was comfort. Whatever she said was from a place of love.

He loved car rides sometimes. He didn’t always appreciate them when he was younger, kind of like how he felt about his parents. Especially when he was 14 but now? They were some of his favourite times spent with his parents. He just couldn’t help it, something about the rolling scene and music with easy conversation lulled him. It helped keep his obsession at bay, blocking it from flaring if he could see that some of the most important people in his life were there, in front of him safe and sound.

He still ached. Felt that compulsion to check Sam and Tuck. Rather than scream like normal it was a soothing whisper. He was able to drunkenly send them a text about how much he loved them without the skin crawling need to see that they were still standing.

The Uber slowed to a crawl, the Sudan squealing as they stopped. Man that guy really needed to replace his breaks. He could get in a wreck and then whoever he was ferrying around could get seriously hurt.

No!

He shook his head; he couldn't let his obsession obsess on something so small. It was probably safe to look out of the window again so he chanced a look. Danny narrowed his eyes as the Uber arrived at the church, and he finally remembered the occasion.

“Wait, Mom? Did we just pregame Vlad’s funeral?” Danny asked.

Maddie scowled,“ Shut up and act sober. For some reason, your dad loved that miserable creep,” she told him.

“It’s the only way to get through the day,” Jazz agreed, fumbling to open the door and step out.

Damn he hadn’t meant to forget the occasion but he couldn’t help it his mind was already prone to wandering and the alcohol was just making it worse. Really it was a miracle he passed highschool in the first place, even when sober his mind just struggled to latch onto subjects, and that was before he had to nightlight as Phantom, hell it wasn’t even nightlighting it was a full double life. Really he didn't even know how he was managing college with the heroing on the side. Best guess if he was pressed to give one was that his parents’ disappointment and the desire to go to space was combining into the ultimate peer pressure. Funny how his brain worked like that, maybe Jazz could explain that to him. She was good for stuff like that. Explanations for why his brain was weird. She tried to give him an acronym for it one time something with A's. An attention thing of some sort. He'd have to ask her about it again sometime so he could wrap his mind around it.

“Hey!” Jazz opened the door, her face inches from his, the scent of some fruity cocktail on her breath,” get out Danny, and remember, act normal. At least for dad’s sake.”

“Yeah,” he waved her off stumbling to his feet, honestly it wasn’t fair that the ground was so unsteady beneath him, kind of transphobic if you asked him. “If you wanted me to act normal then why’d we all get plastered?” he joked.

“Shush,” Jazz clamped a hand on his face, their slow amble up the church's many steps paused. “Don’t lick a gift horse in the mouth Danny, you know this will be insufferable.”

He licked her hand, she recoiled, wiping the spit off on her fancy black dress.

“Danny!”

He stuck out his tongue in retaliation.

“Behave, ”she chided.

He rolled his eyes and followed her. It was just a funeral, what was the worst they could get into?

The second he stepped in the church threshold he knew. It put his whole body on edge, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and the faintest trickled of mist? ghost vaper? Ghost breath? He actually had no clue what it was that came out of his mouth.

Well he never really understood what he was saying half the time anyways, his mouth had a habit of running out from under him. The worst case of that was just the other week, he was talking to Sam over skype about something and he’d forgotten that she knew about Phantom, how really he had no clue, and he just went on for about twenty minutes making some out there wild excuse for why he’d missed their last hang out when she’d stopped him.

Honestly it was getting embarrassing, even worse was trying to keep things he said to his parents in each form separate. He really had to tell them soon.

It was so easy when he was 14 the breadth of his conversations with them as Phantom at the time could be summed up with a snarky quip from him or a “I’m gonna dissect you” from them. Now though they seemed to be fully taking seriously the notion that ghosts had depth to them. Which while true was deeply inconvenient for him. That meant he had to have interactions with them as Phantom and keep his identity straight ( ha ). Maybe he should be grateful, they weren’t threatening to dissect him anymore that was certainly a plus, they still definitely wanted to examine him however. He had considered it, in the depth of the night, allowing them to examine him only to drop the transformation part way through. It’d be funny, just a little bit to catch them off guard like that. But they didn’t deserve a coming out like that. He stifled a groan, he thought he was done with the closet when he’d come out but no life just had to never end and add in ghosts.

“Danny,” Jazz hissed at him.

He slurred out a huh at her in confusion.

Damn he’d been staring out at nothing, the Pastor? Priest? He didn’t know the difference to be honest, was still talking about Vlad. Shit that’s right! The second he’d walked in his ghost sense had gone haywire, Vlad was still (half) alive in that plush ass casket. He wondered how bad it'd be to fake a stomach ache and transform into Phantom for some ass kickery. Knowing his luck though Vlad might just feign full death embrace just to make a fool of him.

He would do that, fake his death, hell he was doing it right now! Motive was still unclear to him but Danny was going to get to the bottom of it. The man at the front, religious figure of whatever denomination, was gesturing large and big as he wrapped up. It was really official, and stuffy, when he finally fully died he wanted his funeral to be nothing like this. Maybe Tuck's ideas of dramatic funeral pranks were where it was at. Or maybe even Sam's ideas of celebratory parties that remembered the dead's life. He wouldn’t object to either of those.

Alcohol was fading out of his system again, well it’d been nice while it’d lasted but it’d probably be best to not be sloshed if Vlad wanted to cause a scene.

He sat at the edge of his seat as his father came up for a speech.

“Vlad,” his father stopped to blow his nose,” Vlad was a good friend of mine in college, w-we,” his lip trembled, his large jaw hammering up and down as he stammered for words. It took everything in Danny to not sink into the pew bench in embarrassment. Jack was for all intensive purposes the only person in the entire church that seemed genuinely broken up about the billionaire’s death.

“We drifted apart for a while, and he’d just started to come back to mine and my wife's lives a few years ago and- and- I-I sorry,” he winced as his fathers voice died.

While he didn’t understand his fathers affection for the man his heart couldn't help but ache for the man’s sorrow. His father had such a large heart. He was so trusting and held so much affection in his large beating heart. It was a weakness and a strength. One his mother often said he inherited. He didn’t know if he could see it. He wasn’t so soft, so trusting, so eager to love and care as his father. Then the larger man hadn’t been burned the same. Hadn’t had his heart half electrocuted to death like him.

His mom walked up on the stage, he was briefly impressed by her composure, she was buzzed but also in heels and looked to all the church exceedingly well put together. Quietly she was speaking her hands gently on Jack’s shoulders patting his back soothingly. She often sold herself short. Stating her heart not to be as big, Danny didn’t believe that, not really, his mother was just more careful in those she let in.

“I wasn’t as close to him as my husband,” she admitted, having softly taken the mic from Jack. her fingers were curled around it softly, but her other hand was in her hair. She was fidgeting and searching for words,” but I’m sure those he was close to will miss him dearly.” she said tight lipped. Jack whispered something to Maddie quietly making her smile tightly and nod. The man moved to his seat and let his wife continue his speech in his stead.

It was nothing notable really, Danny wasn’t one for paying attention to speeches or lectures and a funeral would not be an exception. He caught a few snippets though, his moms implication that she liked him better in college. A line hoping that in death that he could hopefully move on from the past. He really tried to not laugh at that one clearly because she'd noticed the exes. How many of them had known before? How many of the exes had to learn of their blueprint right then and there in the funeral.

Still he sat teetering on the edge of his seat, half paying attention to her words and mind half trained on that open casket. Vlad lay there in the plush box waiting. What for he couldn’t tell yet but he wasn’t going to be caught unaware.

The speeches couldn’t have ended any slower in his opinion. He wished that the alcohol hadn’t run it’s course already. It was so much easier to get through shit when his mind was quieted and his obsession was dulled. Instead he was forced to wait, his waking obsession tearing at his insides making him wait. Watch the lingering guests with apprehensive eyes. A few were expected. Gaggle of divorced exes. Some smattering of people that vaguely had Vlad's chin and nose. It was bizarre, some looked wildly like him and others well. They were utter strangers to Danny. They all were but they seemed almost faceless in how unknown they were. Interestingly none of them really seemed that choked up. He’d never expected troves of people depressed about Vlad’s passing. Still to only have one sobbing mourner? Maybe they just grieved differently...

Yeah maybe.

About when he got his water from the refreshments table he realized that Vlad really wasn't pulling a stunt. Still he had no clue why he was in that damn casket if he was still (half) alive in there. He almost laughed at the absurdity of it all, his worst nightmare was being trapped in one of those, yet Vlad had clambered in willing foot after foot laying stricken and board straight for all that he knew to see him. It didn’t make sense. There had to be some trick.

There had to be.

He thought maybe after his father had bowed his head over the casket head in hands loud body wracking sobs shaking his shoulders that Vlad might then spring to life (ha) and attack them. No, instead he remained laying in that coffin, the soft plush pillow under his head holding him still, the flowers in hand still clutched in strict fingers. He must have some sort of long con going on then. Some sort of goal he was aiming to reach by laying stricken and dead.

Wouldn’t be the first time the man had pulled a bizarre stunt. The time he’d kidnapped Danny and his mom sprang to mind. But there were few situations that came to mind where faking one’s death could come in handy.

A severe looking man walked up to him a small plate of hors d'oeuvres in hand. Sam would hate the sight of the small snacks, not a single one was vegetarian. And Tuck? He’d be laughing his head off at the name and size. He really had to rope them into a trip to the movies or arcade sometime soon.

The man greeted him, straightening his professional looking tie as he spoke. The man was exceedingly out of place, in a clean and crisp business suit that hardly matched the tone of mourning clothes. Then his parents were wearing their jumpsuits under their fancy clothes so glass houses and all that.

The man was painfully dull giving Danny his condolences in a rather stilted and clunky tone. The man clearly didn't want to be there. He raised an eyebrow at the man as he finally asked how he knew the ‘deceased’.

Telling the man something to the effect of, “Just through my parents,” somehow making it clear to the man that he wasn’t particularly choked up by the billionaire's death. Gee he wondered what gave it away, his flat unaffected tone? Or the fact that Vlad was a billionaire with no moral backbone.

Huh, he must really be missing Sam a lot to be thinking like that. he hated to admit it but she was kinda right.

Business suit was disinterested in conversation with Danny after that, he hastily wrapped up the conversation. Man even muttered “shame.” under his breath, if Danny wasn’t half dead he wouldn't have caught it. But well nothing ever really worked out well for bureaucrats did it?

Had Vlad seriously faked his death to avoid paying a few measly bucks? The man was a billionaire! He must really owe them a mean amount of money for them all to arrive at the funeral like this. Maybe they hoped the will would work in their favour? Not far in front of the refreshment table were two suits talking unabashedly about the amounts that Vlad owed them. If it weren’t for the setting Danny would think that they were coming or going from an important meeting.

For what was probably the first time he properly looked at all of the guests. Actually taking them in, a good chunk like he’d noticed before were the exes that half looked like his mom, and their kids (hopefully they weren’t biologically Vlads). Then there were the vague family members that looked like Vlad watered down with kindness. But the rest? Suits and-

Oh.

Oh he had to step behind an archway and stuff a fist in his mouth to stop himself from laughing out loud. Vlad had fucking bounty hunters being sent after him! It was karmic, he had to stop himself from busting a gut right then and there in the middle of a church. It was already blasphemy enough to be the walking dead he didn't want to also throw in disrespecting the (only mostly) dead into the mix.

Well at least they weren’t all debtors, lurking around the corners and edges of the room was a guy he’d worked with as Phantom a few years ago. He was kind of hot in a rugged sort of way. If it weren’t for Sam and Tuck he’d have considered flirting seriously with the other man. As it was his joking flirting got him in trouble with the other two.

He was really acting up being normal, that rugged man. Mingling about with other people dressed neatly.

Clear to only Danny what he was, what the others like him were, the man wandered unaware that Danny was watching him. Ironically he only knew they were bounty hunters because Vlad had hired the rugged man and his crew to hunt Phantom that time a few years ago and now? Oh the tables have turned. Someone, maybe one of the exes, or the debtors wanted him dead. Damn what had Vlad done?

Ghost Zone inhabitants had mixed opinions on him, many of which wanted him dead or knocked down a peg. But that was the Ghost Zone, half of them wanted Danny dead at some point or another. This was the human world. Earth and shit, it was much harder to piss off someone to the level of murder. Not impossible but damn. He grinned at this, Vlad was (half) alive and (sorta) well in that casket and he couldn’t do anything if he started to stir shit up. Life was beautiful, twinkling and gorgeous, he decided. He Didn’t need Tucker and Sam to have fun.

He started with one of the exes. He went out of his way to ignore her dyed red hair and pale purple eyes as he talked with her. It wasn’t her fault that Vlad had a complex, he reminded himself as the woman talked. Fault couldn’t be pinned on her for the parallels he could search between his mother and her. She was nice in a weird way, again really like his mom. It was unnerving. He kept trying to ignore her beady eyed gremlin of a child as she talked to him about the will.

Whatever Vlad had done for all the people in his life to only care about the will and the will alone Danny wanted to do the express opposite. It was almost painful in a way to watch all of these people act like they weren’t only here for the money. Served the man right, it was still depressing, the man had everything on paper but not a damn thing in reality.

“Do you think his daughter will show?” he tactfully added into the conversation after the woman had made some condolences about his family and Vlad.

“Daughter?” the woman asked, her large eyes blinking slowly,” I'm sure you're mistaken, Vlad told me he doesn’t have kids.”

“Oh,” he said, feigning apology, inside he was loving this, sure Vlad couldn’t admit the truth about the clones but clearly the man had seriously left out some details to his ex lovers. “Are you sure? ‘Elle is nineteen now,” he said, it was technically true if you counted right. She was also only seven if you counted right. It was all about semantics.

“Ninete-” the woman stammered something hard settling in her eyes,” he told me he didn’t want to have children,” she looked down at her angry eyed child (he hoped the little dude didn’t kick him in the shin) who had a hand fisted in the end of her dress. “If you’ll excuse me, Daniel, this was an- enlightening conversation.” he watched her walk away to a woman with a big chunky bracelet.

Also a redhead. Of course.

A sharp pain seared in the top of his ear he prevented himself from yowling out as the fingers attached dragged him over to a corner.

"ow ow ow," he whined out quietly trying heard not to draw attention to himself. It didn't really work.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jazz hissed at him when they were hidden away from the rest of the group.

“First of all: ow!” He rubbed his ear delicately between his finger pads,” I’m not a child anymore, maybe borderline sibling abuse was funny in 80’s sitcoms but it's not anymore.”

Jazz rolled her eyes,” second of all?” she pressed, she was still slightly buzzed and yet she was still holding herself with so much composure. Kind of impressive, if she hadn’t just physically threatened to rip his ear off.

“Secondly I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“Not do-” Jazz floundered,” Daniel!” she hissed out again struggling to keep her tone low. Damn she was mad, she only pulled out the full name when really fucked up,” I know your relationship with Vlad was- complicated.”

He snorted,” he tried to kill me multiple times, Jazz.”

“Yes bu-”

“Dark Dan,’’ he pressed further.

“I get it!” she snapped in a whisper-shout,” but a funeral isn-”

“He isn’t dead Jazz. Or really fully dead I guess I should say,” he laughed

Jazz rolled her eyes,” This is concerning behaviour Danny.”

“W-what?” he asked.

She tapped her chin pensively, she was psychoanalyzing him again, gag, “You must be transferring your complicated feeling about him into-”

“Jazz,” he groaned. It was best to stop her before she got on a roll, “Ghost senses remember? He’s still not fully dead, I can tell. He faked his death.”

“Okay,” she said with a sigh," I'm not saying I believe you, but say he did fake his death-”

“He did.”

She shot him a look, “Why? Why would he fake his death? He’s a rich ceo multi-billionaire with more money than most of us can conceive of, nonetheless actually obtain, what does he get out of faking his death?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, this was easier when Jazz was talking to one of Vlad’s cousins ignoring him stirring the pot.

He explained what he’d pieced together so far, with the suits and hunters lurking around the edges of the room it was easy to point out how out of place they look. Slowly a realization fell on her face, an acceptance of what he was saying.

“When I was talking to the stepford exes they were all talking about who would get the estate.”

“Do they know who?” he asked.

Jazz shook her head,” no the will was kept really secretive from all of them. There was even a bit of an altercation from two of the younger ex girlfriends over it.”

He winced at that, he couldn’t blame them for being mad he just wished Vlad wasn’t faking death for them to take it out on. “The bottle red and the one with the big bracelet?” he prompted, remembering the end of his conversation with the former.

“No that’s Maddison and Maggie, the two that fought were Morgan and Melenie.”

“Maddison? Maggie? Morgan? Melenie?” he repeated with a grimace voice getting higher with each name.

“Yeah I know,” she said with a sigh,” a textbook case of projecting an ex, or in this case crush, on future partners leading to a string of failed relationships,” she frowned looking over at the group of clustered red heads. Danny followed and examined them, they were all looking at something their eyes occasionally darted over to-

Oh of course, mom, they ‘d probably done the math already. He winced at the thought. He’d half thought about it before finding the notion funny. Now in his sparkling sobriety of the evening he couldn’t find the humour.

“At least they all mostly get along,” Jazz offered, trying to look away from how the dozen or so women were looking at the one woman they were all stacked against.

“Really?” he blinked at her,” I’d have thought that they’d all be fighting cause of the- well you know,” he gestured to the, everything, of the situation.

She shook her head,” no, they seem to all understand that it was all on Vlad, two of them, Mackenzie and Melody,” she clarified to even more of his confusion,” even found out that they were seeing him at the same time. How they didn’t know with all of the press that followed him I’ll never know, but they decided to team up on the legal front if there are any issues with the will.”

“Really.”

Jazz nodded,” yeah I was surprised too, but good for them, Vlad went around causing too many issues in their lives.”

He nodded in agreement as he looked at at the sea of redheads, some of them had grown out their hair revealing dark roots, some had hair styled in poufy curls reminiscent of his mothers old style and one of them had completely cut her hair into a half shaved look, it was actually similar to the look that Sam had now.

“Want to cause some problems for him?” he asked.

“Danny, legally and socially he’s dead, what could we do?”

“Legally yeah,” he agreed,” but technically he’s still half alive in there, and can hear everything that people say-”

“Are you suggesting that we ruin his reputation?” Jazz asked with a poorly hidden smile. He loved that in the years she’d loosened up. It was a good look on her, relaxation.

“Ruin?” He said, in mock scandal, ”I'm merely suggesting we bring it down to where it belongs.”

“Oh ‘merely’ what is that a fifth grade word? I'm impressed!” Jazz teased.

He shoved her lightly with a laugh,” oh fuck off I’m in college now you know.”

“Really? Accredited and everything?”

He stifled his laugh,” shut up, you know dealing with ghost shit messed with my grades.”

Truthfully he’d expected her to joke further about it, to razz him about doing so much, or maybe analyze him, diagnosis him with trauma. Instead she hugged him.

“I’m sorry so much was put on your shoulders so young,” her voice was raw. Too raw.

He patted her back, stomach squirming. Because what was he to do with that? The tender care held for him in the cracks of her fingers. The sorrow that settled in her pores all for him?

“Hey stop that,” he eventually said, pulling back,” or I'll make clockwork take me back in time so you never find out.” He didn’t mean it, he never did.

Jazz laughed a little wetly, he didn’t comment on it. Why would he? Also didn’t get a chance as she ruffled his hair, despite the fact that he was now much taller than her. “People are allowed to care about you, asshole.”

He scrunched his nose up at that,” ew what? I detest affection.”

“Oh detest another good one, really racking up those vocab words huh?” she sniffled her hands on her hips, a little lean in her back as she smirked.

Snorting, he stepped back and fixed his hair,” how about we make this a competition?”

“Huh?”

“First one to make Vlad burst out of his casket and rage in ghost mode wins.”

“Really? What would the winner get?”

He tapped his chin making a humming noise,” how about this, loser has to reveal their secret.”

Jazz laughed nervously,” I don’t have a secret Danny.”

Danny gave her a look,” Jazz, I’ve met your girlfriend.”

She bit her lip looking down at his outstretched hand, a debate playing in her eyes.

“Hey you don’t have to if you don’t wanna,” he said softly,” this is just meant for fun after all.” he knew better than most what forcing this stuff did.

”No, it’s fine,” she took his hand and shook, if a little clumsily,” that doesn’t mean they have to meet her though.”

“Oh don’t worry,” he said,” it won’t be my fault if they do that’ll be entirely on them.”

“Danny!” she exclaimed at him as he fled to the other side of the church. Finally this funeral was going to be interesting!

“Can you keep a secret?” he asked the swaying uncle of Vlad. The man smelled of beer and hors d'oeuvres. Not that Danny could judge if it wasn’t for the thick layer of spray on deodorant that his mom smothered him in right before he got in the uber then he’d probably smell just as rank. Then there was the fact that he’d pregamed to.

The older man narrowed his eyes at Danny, he was shocked to see the man he looked to hardly be much older than Vlad yet he was his uncle? He’d gone to ask about it but thought better about it, the less lore he knew about Vlad’s family the better, he really didn’t want to know about how many kids and when and how the Masters ‘clan’ had. Conversation with the older man was… stilted, to say the least. But he was certain that if he told him something then it wouldn’t get back to him. And that was half the game wasn’t it? Finding a way to spread the most rumours without people finding out it was him or Jazz. All without powers of course, that almost went without saying.

The man didn’t seem too broken up about Vlad, they probably weren’t that close and Danny had always gotten the impression from the billionaire that he was a smidge too snobbish to fully have developed relationships with people. As often as he teased Jazz for being snobby, she at least was nowhere near as bad as Vlad. Man damn near invented snobbishness and assholery. He’d have to ask clockwork if Vlad’s ancestors were just as bad. Judging by some of his family, probably not.

“Well before he passed,” Danny prompted, pausing in a way to snag the older man's attention.

“Yes?” the older man asked when he didn’t continue.

“Well,” Danny fidgeted with his nail,” you know his signed Packers jersey?”

The older man nodded eagerly.

Danny looked to the side,” it’s a fake,” he whispered to the man.

“Really?”

He nodded,” yeah, but please don’t tell anyone,” he added,” it’s bad enough that they know he was banned from buying the team-”

“He was what?”

Danny fought to hide a smirk. He knew it’d be easier to sell this lie if he started smaller.

“I thought everyone knew!”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, most of the town knows, it’s just, no one talked about it to be polite.” okay that might have been overselling it a bit but the distant relative seemed to really be drinking it in.

“What did he do?”

Danny looked side to side like he didn’t want anyone to overhear.

“Well a few years ago when he was closing the deal to buy the team he got caught stalking some of the members!”

“Really?” the uncle asked,” wha- why?”

Danny shrugged,” they never really found the reason he was following them, he was even trying to seduce some of the wives.”

The man gasped,” I- really?”

Danny nodded. “But you can’t tell anyone you have to promise me.”

He watched as the man smiled in what he thought was slyness,” of course! I just, with all of those wives he had!”

Within the next five minutes Danny heard the rumour circulate across the room and it had grown legs. How glorious those rumours legs were.

“I heard he’d tried to break up a marriage on the team!” an ex wife (Maggie maybe?) hissed.

The other ex (Mary? The other woman might have called her) laughed,” would it really be any surprise? With what he did to Morgan and Melenie?”

The first woman nodded sagely,” fair I can’t believe I even fell for his tricks.”

All things considered the rumour was spreading well, and there was not even a gasp of a suggestion that he was the source. He couldn’t wait to hear what Jazz had invented, with the rumbles he’d already started to hear, it was probably great. Jazz always did have a way of getting into people’s heads. Find what interests them the most.

“So this daughter of Vlad's?” the woman he was talking to prompted, he vaguely remembered Jazz saying her name was Maddison. She’d found him again some time later; her child now safely deposited over by the other kids with their group babysitter. They were in the middle of the church now, the other two still whispering about the packers' spouses.

“ ‘Elle?” he asked as if he’d forgotten.

The woman nodded her curls bouncing as she did.

“Can I see a picture of her?”

He pulled up an older photo of them hanging out, the picture was grainy and they were both sticking their tongues out at the camera. Shit he’d really forgotten how alike they looked.

“You both-” the woman said before stopping. She glanced at his parents.

Shit he had to go into damage control,” well she’s also my cousin,” he fibbed.

“Cousin?”

“Yes! Technically once removed? Or something like that, I didn’t meet her until a few years ago, we were really blown away with the family resemblance!” he laughed. "Really it's uncanny!" He continued.

Too far! Too far! He was leaning into it too much! It wasn’t like he could just tell her the truth, that Dani was Vlad's only successful half dead clone of him! Then he’d also have to out two things about himself to her.

“She travels a lot,” he added. He really needed to learn when to shut his big mouth,” she was in Paris a few years ago actually.”

“Really?”

He couldn’t even blame the alcohol! He was just this stupid naturally huh? They’d been saying it for years Sam and Tucker, if only he’d taken them seriously before this. His idiocy might really be terminal.

“Yup, I haven’t seen her in awhile though, hopefully she visits again!”

Scrutinizing eyes scanned him up and down, darting from each corner of his face hunting out the ruse. He really needed to learn to shut his big mouth.

“Do you have her number?”

Crashing noises filled his brain. Her number? The last thing that he had expected was interest in ‘Elle. he’d just thought that they’d get upset at Vlad and leave it at that.

“ ‘E-elle's?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m sorry if this is prying but me and the other ladies,” she gestured to a few of them,” we’re talking and we want to support her!”

“I-” he hesitated, he hadn’t really planned for this,” what?”

The older woman nodded,” we all talked it out and if we get the estate we’re going to support one another and the kids, and it seems like ‘Elle just got stuck in the middle of this like the rest of us.”

“Yeah uh, let me just text her first?”

“Of course honey!”

Danny walked away from that conversation feeling distinctly weirder than before. Regardless he pulled up his phone and slid out the keyboard.

He opened up the “With an I” contact.

Hey i accidentally got you adopted by like fifteen random women that used to date vlad

5:43 p.m.

You what? Lul

5:45 p.m.

He looked up around him before typing out the next message

Yeah long story short he faked his death. Its weird

5:46 p.m.

I’m at the funeral and the exes wanna like support you?

5:46 p.m.

Well Vlad wasn’t good for much but at least i now have a multitude of mothers

5:47 p.m.

So i can give them your number?

5:47 p.m.

Yeah have at it! If this causes chaos for vlad im all for it !

5:48 p.m.

“So her phone number is.”

By the time he’d separated himself from that conversation a few more rumours were floating.

“I heard that the reason he died in a car crash is because he was on the run from the law!” one of vlad's relatives whispered.

“Really!” another responded.

Elsewhere some of the attending staff were murmuring too. “I heard that he got caught smuggling maple syrup cans from canada!”

“Cans?”

“Yes apparently the good stuff is canned there.”

He walked to a new group this time with the suits.

“I hear that the money in the accounts is dirty.”

“According to my source his invested stocks were backed with illegal funds.”

“If there’s drugs really attached to it like I was told then I don't want anything to do with it.”

“I agree it's hard enough to get money from wills with spouses involved. It's even harder if the feds sniff any drugs.”

“It might not even be worth it to try with all of the ladies,” a different suit complained,” I overheard them talking about lawyering up together if anything goes wrong.”

Another much older suit scoffed,” this business was much easier before the exes started working together.”

Finally he heard his own new rumour starting to gain some traction.

“Wasn’t it found out that he was stealing science equipment from the nearby college?”

“Oh whatever for?”

“I heard it was for making a specialty shampoo.”

“I’ve always wondered how he kept his hair so nice and shiny.”

Jazz was good, too good, considering that neither of them had really clicked into any social cliques in highschool. Now she was gossiping better than even any of the A-listers.

“It’s just such a shame that they can’t come,” Jazz was even fake sobbing, damn he was going to have to up his game.

“Who couldn’t come?” One of Vlad's older cousins asked, Danny wondered if Jazz was screaming inside at the hand she had around one of the older exes' waists, it was casual and tender. If one of Vlad's exes was getting together with his cousin because of the funeral , Danny would shriek from laughter, hell if he accidentally used his ghostly wail it’d be well worth it. Vlad of all people deserved to have a partner snatching occur to him.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Jazz said,” I thought that everyone knew,” she looked from side to side,” please don’t tell the other ex wives Monroe I’d hate for their feelings to get hurt over this.”

Damn she was good. The wife- Monroe who was leaning comfortably on the cousin nodded.

“Of course Jazzie,” she said in a deep comforting New York accent,” this can be brought up to them later more delicately later. Though I must admit,” she said after a pause where Jazz thanked her for her discretion.” I myself am curious who wasn’t able to come.”

“Well you know how he used to do ghost research with mom and dad?”

Where was she going with this? She was selling it well, Danny had to admit but for the life of him he couldn’t guess where this was going.

“Yes of course,” the cousin nodded as Monroe spoke.

“I can’t name the amount of times he used to write home in our youth about his little ghost adventures,” the cousin added.

Jazz nodded ,” well at the school there was the Lunch Lady Ghost and the Box Ghost, he was seeing them romantically in between their stays in the ghost zone.”

Danny held back a snort box ghost! If he laughed too hard in that moment he’d drop the ghost form and would fall on top of the group that’d gathered around her. As much control as he’d mastered over his abilities over the past couple years there was nothing that would be able to save him from Jazz’s wit.

“I’m sure box ghost is very helpful for moves,” one of the crowd commented amicably. The others though had nothing to say. Clearly they’d all actually met Box Ghost.

The gossip might have even stayed in that circle if it weren’t for another one of the cousins being right there and then deciding to tell his wife, who then told one of the ex-wives, who then told another, who then told a suit. So on and so forth.

By the time that Danny was back in human form and settled on the opposite side of Jazz’s conversation he was hearing the children that some of the wives had brought talking about Vlad ‘holding hands’ with the Box Ghost and Lunch Lady. Why couldn’t he have thought about that? It was so good, it was perfect, literally no one could prove it wrong. And embarrassing, seriously Box Ghost!

All the stuff he knew to be true about Vlad sounded so far-fetched.

Half ghost?

Well most people didn’t know about them.

The time he infected his two closest and longest friends with ghost pimples?

Needed the half ghost context.

If only there was some-

“I hate Vlad!” one of the kids near him cried out stomping down his foot.

Unsurprisingly all of the kids agreed, okay he was a little surprised, usually Vlad had the wool pulled over on most people. So the fact that all of these kids hated him really meant something.

“He stole my cotton candy at the fair!”

“Well he told me that I didn’t need to see daddy anymore cause he was gonna replace him!”

Eager ears pointed at them he drank in their every complaint. He’d known that Vlad was cartoonish levels of evil for awhile (see the infecting teens with ghost acne for personal gain as proof, or kidnapping him and his mom) but never had he truly expected for him to be so stupid as to do it all in the open in front of all of these kids. Then again some of this might be his obsession making him act out. Smallest sliver of him almost felt bad about that, the fact that Vlad was in a way forced to be this way, but it wasn’t really anything he wasn’t before. Obsessions just highlighted what was already there. Made it more severe.

“Uhm excuse me,” he tapped the shoulder of one of the shorter women,” Mallory?” He'd asked the babysitter for her name but for the life of him he was struggling to keep all of the exes straight in his head. There were just too many of them and they all looked too similar to his mom.

“Yes,” her eyes flickered with recognition,” Danny?”

He laughed,” yeah that’s me!”

“Some of the others were mentioning you!” she said with a bright smile taking his hand,” thank you for telling us about ‘Elle! I can’t believe he kept her a secret from all of us for so long.”

He nodded in agreement,” well about Vlad-”

“Oh no, what else was he hiding?” she asked, there was a laugh ringing from her but Danny didn’t need ghost senses to know it was dead on arrival,” I’ve learned so much more here at his funeral than I ever did when we’d been together.”

He laughed a little at that, a stilted awkward laugh that only filled his chest halfway. He almost felt bad telling her about this, but she deserved to know the truth. “Well I overheard some of the kids complaining about Vlad.”

He filled her in on what he’d overheard about the kids, the petty little actions of Vlad. The cotton candy he’d stolen (which was weird he’s rich), the fathers he threatened to replace, it was all so bizarre. Danny was about halfway through when the casket began to shake.

Vlad masters was not an impulsive man. He was calculated, smart and forward thinking. At least he certainly liked to think so. No impulsive man goes out of his way to plan his nemesis’ death and demise for twenty years. No reckless person would spend his time building an empire carefully crafting his abilities and connections for taking down his enemy. Vlad however to his greatest distaste was in fact still half human and not infallible. While he was meticulous and in his personal opinion exceedingly intelligent he had no way to properly plan for wrenches in his schemes.

The fenton boy, Daniel was his biggest hurdle but it was only a matter of time before he found the right way to tackle the issue. He was just a particularly big roadblock. If only his emotional attachment to his dunderheaded father wasn’t so strong. These issues were all small potatoes compared to the one he was in now. The details can be spared and smoothed over all that was truly important was that he was at his own funeral.

He’d always wondered what people's reaction to his death would be. Contact with his extended family had been… loose, for the lack of a better term since his ‘accident’. Deep down however he knew that when or if his time came, truly came, that they’d have a reaction. Probably sadness, he had been close to a few of them before his accident, hell he’d been close to them before his company had taken off. At the end of the day he simply had better things to do. Plans to make, revenge to ruminate on. It wasn’t his fault that they’d fallen to the wayside. They simply weren’t as important as Maddie.

He’d toyed with the idea that maybe his dear Maddie would sob over him, that she’d denounce Jack when she saw that he was no longer an option. How deeply poetic it’d be for that to happen. He never liked the idea of her only realizing their potential then but he couldn’t ignore the artful symmetry of it all. Some of the books that Maddie used to read in college had those even beginning and ends, those swooping through lines that tied it all nicely in a pretty bow. His first death had ripped her away from him. It’d gifted her to Jack on a silver platter, and his second oh how glorious it’d be if it drew her to him. Making her denounce her imbecile of a husband. Leaving the stocky man discarded. Beauty was in the eye of the beholder and even with its harsh edges his death bringing her close to him was something to behold. If only that was what he was watching happen.

Unfortunately for Vlad Masters Owner, Ceo, and founder of Vladco. Life was not an art piece nor a well orchestrated game of football. No instead he got to lay still (half) alive in his exceedingly expensive casket and listen to the dolt sob.

It started like all of the worst things while heading to the Fenton's for another plan to be set in motion. The restraining order was still being held up in the courts so there was technically nothing legally stopping him from seeing them, or especially her. Besides he was a billionaire, those things were more fine machines than anything for him. Once it was enacted all he’d have to do was pay a fine.

Unfortunately it was during the drive that issues started. Again finer details notwithstanding for he’d run them all in his head a thousand times now while laying in this blastedly comfortable casket. While on the drive it became clear to him he was being followed. No matter , he’d smugley told himself. He’d been followed by techbro fans before they were easy to deter. Easy to remove from his time and life. However in a deeply detestable turn of events the car following him did not belong to a fan.

He knew from the offset of seeing the make and model that it wasn't his average follower, those types usually had older beaters or worse highly expensive care that they had no business owning. No, instead this car was perfectly down the middle of class and price. How he detested those cars, they had no class. It was effectively similar to the many unmarked police cars that he used to have follow him during his brief stint as mayor.

Regardless the car was tailing his limo, it was simple at first to attempt to outmaneuver them. Eventually his limo was pinned.

Blah blah blah mindless details later some pointless shooting at him with guns and he’d jacked their car. In the end it was simply easier to fake a fatal car crash. then there were all of those witnesses that had to see his death. Walking it back was impossible all circumstances considered. At least when they attacked him they only knocked his driver out, the legal case of that would have been a logistical nightmare and he still had some hopes of getting access to his funds later.

It was almost funny in a karmic way. Almost as poetic as he had wanted pretending to be dead to be. Only problem was it was poetic in exactly the opposite way. The person that he hated most there sobbing the loudest. It’d be so much easier if it was Madeline sobbing. If she was sobbing, a faked death could be almost satisfying. If she melted down it could almost be worth it. Instead it was Jack Fucking Fenton.

Numerous things were to be expected from his funeral, Daniel's arrival, yes, Maddie’s, undoubtedly. Even Jazz’s and Jack’s all expected arrivals. Some of them were more annoying than others but they were the requisite arrivals. Even his gaggle of ex flings was to be expected (they had to try and get their hands on the estate and money somehow. Well jokes on them he’d left it all to Maddie). No, what he hadn’t been prepared for was Jack’s incessant wailing and sobbing.

The man was besides himself absolutely losing his mind right next to his goddamn open casket. It was getting hard to keep a straight face when he wanted nothing more than to leap from the plush silk sheets and throttle the man. His hands might not quite reach around the other mans thick neck but he could give it a good try he was sure. To put it simply and without intense amounts of rage he had mentally calculated for a lot of variables, not one of them being Jack of all people struggling to breath, choked out sobs instead of breaths coming from him as he hovered nearby. Not a single variable included being cried on by the most loathsome man in all of Amity Park. Every tear that fell on Vlad’s extremely expensive make up was another tally against the man’s. Had he no clue how hard it was to not flinch every time a drop of water splattered on his face? It was much harder than it looked he’d have him know.

Didn’t the idiot realize that he hated him? That he’d never cared for him? At least not since his death.

Worse was when Maddie and the Fenton children staggered in, he could smell the alcohol on them from a mile away. It was tasteless! The smell alone nearly made him leap from his casket and throttle them where they stood (Maddie with exception of course). Have they no respect for the dearly departed? Have they no care for social decorum? Those Fenton spawn would never survive in high class society. Not like himself and Maddie. Oh how he wished he’d never gone for those pale imitations. They hardly kept up with all that he needed.

All he had to do now was ignore everyone and get through the funeral and he could be Plasmius full time. Pursue Maddie 24/7 with no worries of the law (though with some worries of Phantom). If only those blasted Fenton's would stop spreading rumours about him! And he knew it was them! Who else would say such outrageous things?

Okay certainly if one wanted to be technical Danielle was his daughter, but he hadn’t raised her. She was not his blood, she was not his in the most important ways.

Then there was that rumour about the-

“He-hey Vlad.”

Oh, oh no.

“I uh, I’m gonna miss you.”

No no no no no! He couldn’t do this! He wouldn’t do this! He would not stand for this! He did not go out of his way to fake his death for this.

Jack blew his big blubbering nose into a handkerchief so hard it honked. Honked! He was going to throttle this man at his earliest convenience. Getting cried on he could deal with, revolting as it was. What he couldn’t and wouldn’t deal with getting yammered at. That was not in the details. He did not plan for this.

“I- uhm- I know we weren’t really close these last few years.”

That was putting it lightly.

“Or really at all since college,” there was a wet laugh from Jack.

If that oaf ended up coughing slobber on him- Maybe if he tried hard enough he could die for real, that’d be nice. He’d never really craved death before, not like in this moment. It’d be so much easier if he just didn’t have to hear this.

“I-I know you didn’t really like me in the end.”

Wait what? Had he finally gotten a clue? That was a first. Maybe his overt plotting had finally gotten through to the oaf. If Jack attacked him now that’d almost make this all worth it. He might even consider revealing he’s Plasmius if he did.

“I know I messed up, I-I must have hurt you, I don’t really know how, but- but uh, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Yes ye- He was what?

There was another laugh sob from his ex friend,” It’s probably too late since you’re uh- dead, but whatever it is I did to hurt you, I'm sorry. I hope,” he trailed off into a high pitched keening whine.

Stop stop stop! This is not what he wanted!

“I hope you rest well Vlad.”

Footsteps receded away from him at that.

Well what the fuck was he supposed to do with that? What in the world was he supposed to do with that knowledge? Internalize it? Grow and change as a person? He was (half) dead! He was well past the point of growth! He was beyond growth.

For all Jack knew he wasn’t coming back! For him and basically all of them he wasn’t coming back! The only person that would know was Daniel and maybe his sister if he told her. Maybe his brat friends if he messaged them.

What did Jack get out of telling him all of that?

Certainly not money, the will had left everything to sweet Maddie, not him. Some sort of moral upper hand? A sense of feeling like he got one over Vlad?

No the dolt wasn’t that complex, his intelligence lay somewhere between absentminded and incompetant on a good day, there was no moral forethought. Yet why did the words settle so deeply in a corner of himself? Carving out a crevice in him that ached and burned?

“Did you hear about why Vlad couldn’t buy the green bay packers?”

Why? Why did it dig in his flesh? why when he’d thought he’d burned all of that away.

I'm Sorry.

“No, why?”

Life was easier when he was fully alive. College life was simpler. At least then he could fool himself that Maddie thought of him equally as she did Jack.

“Well I heard that he was stalking the team!”

What?

Why would he stalk them? He’d never stalked someone once in his entire life! (death maybe but he’d never admit that) he could buy all the tickets to their games he had no reason to stalk them!

There was no practicality in stalking them. Just like Jack had no reason to apologize to him! The idiot didn’t even know what he’d done to hurt him. He hadn’t ripped the apology from Jack. He wasn't on his knees begging from him. Hell he didn’t even know that he’d killed Vlad. Jack Fenton was as oblivious to the fact that he’d died back in college as he was to the fact that his own son was dead and playing hero as Phantom.

The density of the man was rivaled by no other.

But then why did he apologize?

“Did you hear?”

He got nothing out of it.

Why did it ache?

Burn? He wanted for years nothing more than to make the man sob and beg for forgiveness.

Why did having it fulfill nothing?

“About him and the Box Ghost?”

Would it burn just as painfully if he finally got sweet Madeline’s confession? Would it ring just as hollow?

“I thought it was the lunch lady ghost?”

No. There was something about Jack that made it wrong. Something about that blathering moron that lashed the words to him like a blade.

“I think it was both.”

And what the hell were they all blathering on about? What was all of this nonsense about Box Ghosts and smuggling and stalking? What were any of their empty little words?

Did any of that really matter? Their blathering human rumours and petty squabbles when he, the very guest of honour in all ways but one was laying here before their very eyes on the precipice of something? He was teetering at some edge, he didn’t know what it was but he could just make out the shape of the hole he was almost toppling in, he just had to know what it was. He just-

“Well I heard-”

They heard- they heard! What did it matter what they’d all heard! Nothing that they heard could matter in the slightest not when he was dealing with this! Not when he was reeling with whatever this was! The weight and size of it completely overtaking him and yet none of them aware, he was suffocating being overtaken by the edge of knowledge some realization he’d yet to make and hee still couldn’t read it. All because they wouldn’t stop blathering on and on about what? Lies?

Stupid foolish tales spun by his greatest enemy!

By a child.

If it were not for the show and pageantry of it all, if it were not for the display that he’d set about around him he’d be yanking his hair by the roots, tearing it slowly strand by strand from his scalp. And if there was one thing that Vlad Masters was, it was a showman! He was dramatic and he was going to be so unabashedly it was not his fault that there was no one that yearned for his life to roll onwards like Jack. None of it could be held against him. He was a romantic! Everything he did was for her.

Had it truly all been for nothing?

All these years.

Had she never really cared?

“Dirty money, attached to drugs. I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pool.”

All this time.

Did he really-

“Never even mentioned a daughter!

All his schemes!

Jack's tears were so warm when they cut the thick funeral makeup.

“So many secrets for him to keep.”

Dozens of attempts on his life!

Did he really care? The water on his face was still warm.

“Wasn’t the cause of his crash a run from the law?”

“Would you all just shut up already!”

Silence blanketed the church as Vlad’s voice finished ringing out the wooden box still perched on its little stage. The casket was still shaking and the flowers were falling from the box as the hush grew sharper. Energy crackled from the casket shooting out and blowing the bulb above. Glass fell from the light falling gently on the flower petals.

None one spoke, Danny’s father had a hand over his mouth, new large tears welling up. He looked green and pale, unlike most of the stunned guests he looked like he was about to be sick.

Danny shot a glance at Jazz, she nodded and jerked her head to the side. He ducked out. Things were about to get hairy.

There was no response from Vlad for a second as it seemed the outburst was done. Even the children who’d been shrieking with laughter and joy from their play for most of the funeral were silent. The falling glass and shaking box were deafening in the silence. Danny ducked behind a pillar and into the doorway that led to the restrooms. There was no one there. The closest person was his mom but she was standing silent and stunned not an eye tilted away from the casket. He couldn’t blame her.

It wasn’t everyday your incel stalker had a breakdown after he’d legally died.

He transformed. On the most part there weren’t many people near the casket. It was just a few lingering Exes, most people were near the refreshment table. His first line of action should be to grab the people near the stage and get them to safety. Then?

Well the rest was adlib.

At least he had stored the Fenton thermos in his suit jacket (just in case). If only Sam or Tucker were there. Things were so much easier with their help.

Just as he was about to jump into the situation, the group of exes all swarmed Vlad. Shit he’d have to replan everything. He wouldn’t be able to get in an ecto-blast with out the fret of hitting one of them. He could always try Ice or a little storm cloud?

Just as a new plan was starting to formulate one of them (Maria?) slapped Vlad hard across the face.

Smack.

The noise echoed loudly across the church.

He grimaced.

Oh.

He did not want to get in the middle of whatever that was. He really didn’t want to get in the middle of it at all. Backing back into the bathroom he turned back to normal. Didn’t matter what the situation was, he was not going to get in the middle of a dozen or so angry exes and Vlad. It was his grave (even if Danny had helped him dig it a little) like hell Danny was getting buried with him.

“Vlad Masters!” one of the exes screamed,” you slimy pathetic excuse of a man.”

Yeah Danny was not getting in that, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to watch.

“Ow!” Vlad cried out, his eyes were glowing red, but aside from that he still looked very much the same.

Weird, Danny didn’t expect him to stay in human form. He guessed it made sense if he changed into Plasmius the gig would be up. There’d be a lot of questions too. Knowing Vlad’s tendency to monologue he might even explain the concept of Halfa’s.

“M-Maria!” the older man stammered out,” darling hello-”

The woman smacked him again,” I’m Maggie,” she spat out.

Danny winced, yikes. Makeup covered Vlad's gaunt face but Danny could imagine the smarting red forming on his cheeks.

“Y-yes of course, how could I mistake your beauty, how foolish of me to compare the two of-”

The clearing of a throat interrupted as Maria herself tapped her foot.

“Maria!” Vlad exclaimed this time correct, even if taken by surprise.

“Yes,” the woman agreed,” but don’t mind me, what were you saying? Something about comparison?”

The billionaire awkwardly laughed as he seemed to take in the fact that he was surrounded by all of his exes. Phantom wasn’t even needed. Villain defeated right then and there by the rage and power of his many exes. Again Danny found himself desperate to find out whatever the older man had done to make everyone hate him so just to do the express opposite.

When he actually fully died he hoped his funeral wasn’t this… whatever plan he actually ended up with he just didn’t want this.

“So,” Jazz said as she settled next to him leaning on the pillar with him,” any idea what got him up?”

“Nah,” Danny shrugged looking over to his sister. She looked more sober now, less unstable on her feet.” He didn’t really decree what his gripe was this time.”

Jazz sighed,” so no winner yet.”

“Unfortunately,” he said,'' He also technically didn’t go ghost mode.”

Jazz groaned resting her head on his shoulder,” I wanted to go home, these heels are killing me!”

He stuck a tongue out at her,” shoulda transed your gender like I did,” he teased quietly.

“Ha! Really funny Danny,” she flatly commented with a roll of her eyes at the tired joke.

“Ah meany,” he pouted.

“You walk in these heels at a funeral,” she complained again,” At least if he went full ghost It’d be socially acceptable to ditch them.”

He bit his tongue remembering a rant that Sam had gone on recently about heels and social pressure. How she’d then thrown one of her platform boots at Tuck when he made a remark. Jazz probably wouldn’t appreciate his lovesick ramblings about them.

“Looks like we'll just have to continue to watch this unfold.” he said instead with a sarcastic twinge.

“Oh what a shame!” Jazz said flatly,” sucks to be us.”

Danny snickered as Vlad continued to try to dig himself out of his hole. How he wished Sam and Tucker were here. Unfortunately for him they were both far too busy. Ah well he’d just have to video it all for them.

How unfortunate for Vlad that he was made to sit through his own will reading, and how fortunate for Danny Fenton that he was the one that got to watch it all go down. In the entire time that he and Vlad had been nemesis he never knew just how much he wanted exactly this to happen. Actually if someone ever suggested this happening younger him probably wouldn’t have appreciated just how funny this was. No fourteen-to-fifteen him was far too invested in things like learning his powers and finding out just how observant the rest of town was. Also looking cool. Adult him however? Freshly 21 and college attending him? Oh he could enjoy the fuck out of this situation.

There was some minor debate among some guests over how ethical it was since Vlad's ‘ghost’ was now here to view the reading. Some point could be made that it might be weird...

“Isn’t it rude?” one family member had suggested.

But...

“It might be in bad taste,” another guest had even pipped up.

No one really liked Vlad anyways

“Oh no!” Morgan said,” I want to know what it says, and who better to see how accurate it all is.”

Oh how glad he was that those few were beaten out. How glad he was that the crowd was seeing blood. That the group was too nosey and invested in the drama to really get caught up in such small things as ethics. How grateful he was that the exes were in half a mind to Kill Vlad a second time.

Fortunate he was, that his luck was finally turning up. It might even be the universe trying to pay him back for all of the shit he’d been dealing with since he was fourteen. Return investment on the untimely youth death. Honestly if it was it was a pretty bang up start all things considered. He’d have to find out if there was a ghost involved in the control of karma. They might just end up with an edible arrangement on their lair door. Older adults loved that shit so ghosts should too.

“Hm,” the lawyer said when they entered the room with the walking corpse of Vlad masters. The office was small and hardly held everyone, but snugly, far too snugly for comfort they all fit on the other side of the large desk.

No one said anything to the lawyer. Whether the man had been privy to the rest of the funeral or had just arrived Danny didn’t know but he had to admit this entire situation was bizarre even with full context. Not many of them knew ghost rules and the only ones that did were in either stunned or gleeful silence. There was no objection to the fact that Vlad had dragged his body with him, not a voice descenting on the fact that his form hadn’t shifted. Not a single attendee seemed perturbed by the fact that Vlad was not really a ghost.

Even the paid bounty hunters didn’t know how to discern ghosts from humans judging by their stunned expressions. Though he’d love to watch one of them attack Vlad in the middle of a church. Stabbing a man in the house of god might just be a big sin, though Danny wasn’t sure.

“Well this is unprecedented,” the lawyer commented,” never in my time have I ever seen a dead man rise for the reading of his own will.”

Vlad grumbled but no one could make out the words as the two exes on either side of him glared.

Oh how fortunate Danny was indeed, never before had he ever been so glad for his untimely death. If it all led to watching Vlad squirm like this still trying to keep his alter ego a secret? Pain and strife, the many attacks and attempts on his life were worth it.

“Well if there is no protest,” the lawyer said. For a moment Vlad looked very much like he wanted to protest, but the glares of the exes kept him silent and made him snap his jaw shut. Danny knew what went into keeping a corpse looking fresh. Shame the mortician seemed to have skipped wiring the jaw shut. Then, Vlad didn’t seem to need physical wires to keep him silent and well behaved, his Exes were all doing that job very well.

“In that case,” the lawyer sounded queasy, if Danny wasn’t so invested with the drama unfolding he might have turned to verify. “Then I believe we will begin.”

The man started out by reading the long legal preamble, the paragraphs upon paragraphs of titles and information about Vlad that was included. Danny understood that him being the owner of VladCo was technically important for the will but did he need to include all of his ten titles at the company in the will? It just felt excessive. ‘Ceo, entrepreneur, founder, head of decisions, etc.’ did anyone care? Leaving out the most important title of ‘asshole’ was the biggest mistake of his will.

“Yes I think we get it,” Monroe said, her accent clipping the words in stiff professionalism. Bless her for cutting the pain short. “I do have,” the woman glanced at the cousin who was still holding her hand,” A more important social engagement to attend to with Carmila.”

The lawyer stammered,” yes of course ma’am my apologies.”

“It reads:

‘First, I hereby denounce all previous wills made by myself, Vlad Masters, no matter nature or kind.

Second I Vlad Masters hereby appoint,” the lawyer paused making a face before he continued,” Madeline Fenton love of my life as the executor of my estate, networth, and-” the lawyer paused,” the ownership of my beloved cat ‘Maddie the cat, the third-”

“Huh, I guess you listened to my suggestion after all and got a cat.” Danny muttered as at the same moment his mother reached her breaking point

“You what?” Maddie was standing out of her chair, indignation flaring in her eyes,” Vlad! I don’t want any of this.”

“But but,” Danny tuned the man out as he made the normal declarations of love. Trite at this point his mind was already trying to entertain itself. Fast forwarding this would be nice, if only his core was time based. But no he got Ice, and Weather, and other weird disconnected powers. He was electrocuted to death! Cruel that he didn’t get cool electrocution powers.

They were still arguing when he tuned back in. Loath wasn’t a powerful enough describer for this love diatribe that Vlad spewed every three to five business days. His mom yelled something back, a few of the ex wives even chiming in agreement. Well at least they didn’t hate mom that was a plus.

He shot Jazz a look as he repositioned his phone camera to get a better shot.

‘This again?’ he tried to communicated with his expressions. Tuck usually laughed when he tried and Sam told him he looked to constipated.

She shrugged and nodded as if to say ‘this again.’

“I am happily married! I told you I won't leave Jack for you!”

Tuning out the conversation didn’t seem to leave out many details. Everything was falling exactly into the same patterns as always.

“Maddie please-” the billionaire tried to beg.

This made the woman snap,” no don’t Maddie please me! You have not respected my decision to marry Jack since it happened, well guess what Vlad it’s too late for you! You were never even an option!” she turned to Jack and put a hand on his shoulder. her voice much softer when she spoke,” come on honey we’re leaving. Kids?” She turned to the two Fenton children. The both of them stood with no protest. Like hell they were going to end up on the wrong side of their mother right now. Mission orientated as she was they had no doubt she could commit Vlad's murder and get away with it. legally she might even considering the fact that he was technically a 'ghost' right now.

Just as she was about to step out the door she turned,” oh and ladies, don’t worry about a legal battle I’ll work with our family lawyer to transfer everything to all of you.”

There were some small thanks from the stunned Exes as the office door latched shut behind them.

The air in the car was-

Well the word tense didn’t really sum up the air but it was the best approximation that Danny had. It could have gone worse, he supposed he could have genuinely ended up fighting Vlad again. Chances where that if he fought Vlad while he was Plasmius that the formerly rich business mogul would then use the moment to out Danny as Phantom. Not just his family but all of the church. If he had to rate the evening it was definitely not as bad as he expected. About a six or seven, depending on his critical he was being.

“Uh so who won the bet?” he whispered to Jazz. he wasn’t worried about his parents, Maddie was soothingly rubbing circles on Jack’s back as the man drove. That and they were sat in the back, sometimes the front seats struggled to hear them at a normal level forget a whisper.

Jazz furrowed her brows,” I guess neither of us really won, he didn’t even go ghost.”

Nodding, he thought back to the man’s loud entrance,” He also didn’t say what rumour got him up.”

“So do we both lose?”

“I guess?” he looked over to his parents,” so we both tell them?”

Jazz sighed leaning back in her seat, hair dramatically laying behind her,” yeah I guess.”

“You don’t hav-”

Jazz cut him off with a snort,” no it’s fine, my things not really as big all things considered.”

Fair, she had a point with that. Their parents already knew that she was interested in men and women but still revealing partners to them was always weird and nerve wracking. The first time he’d introduced Sam and Tuck as partners and not friends he’d expected a lot more questions. Turns out if you hunt ghosts for a living nothing is really weird after that. They just bought him new sex ed books. Sentiment appreciated but still weird considering he could google that sort of thing now.

“So Danny,” his mom said, her fingers tightened on her phone. They were lucky she got old brick Nokias instead of those new Smart phones. She’d break them in a week. Jack wasn’t paying them much attention as he drove, he seemed to still be shell shocked. Hopefully he didn't crash, okay so maybe he didn't always like car rides. Sometimes the looming threat of a car crash really messed with his obsession.

“Yeah mom?” he asked.

“I was talking to some of the ladies.”

“Uh huh?” wherever she was going with this he didn’t like the tone.

“And imagine my surprise when one of them tells me Vlad has a daughter.”

“Weird right,” he said. Please stop, please stop! He begged, wherever this was going it was nowhere good. It would have been better if he’d just died in that accident. Screw whatever he thought back when he thought his luck was turning up. He was still the most unlucky bastard in all of amity park.

She hummed in agreement,” and imagine my surprise when they said she was your cousin.”

Danny didn’t have a response to that, Jazz was stifling a laugh next to him.

“And then,” she said,” she showed me a picture of her.”

“Really.”

“Yeah, Danny," there was a pause as she seemed to collect her words," why does she look like you pre transition?”

“Does she?” sweating wasn’t really something he did so much anymore, not since his core started cooling his mortal flesh, it was nice sometimes. But it didn’t stop nervous sweating. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Hadn’t- Danny,” his mother sighed,” sweetie if you want to start presenting as a girl again you can. We won’t judge you.”

Wait what, “ what?!”

Shrieking loud bursts of laughter came out of Jazz.

“Jazz!”

That set him off, it was just so ridiculous.

“Honey I’m serious,” his mom sounded so upset her tone lost. She really was trying.

He couldn’t help it, it wasn’t his fault. It was just so out of the realm of what was happening. Man his parents really didn’t have any of the facts.

“Danny?” his father asked the tenseness in his shoulders from the funeral leaving way to confusion.

Him and Jazz made eye contact and the laughing got so much worse. If being part dead didn’t make him need to breathe so much less he’d be choking. He’d die, it was just- they still didn’t know and somehow that was all the funnier. God he was calling Tuck and Sam right after he explained everything they were going to get such a kick out of this. Especially Tucker.

“That’s not-” wheezes high and stringy, cutting him off, he was struggling even with his ghost lungs.

“Danny my boy,” Jack asked quietly,” what’s funny?”

“We’re trying to support you Danny!” his mother exclaimed.

Finally he quelled the laughter enough to speak,” okay okay,” he whipped a tear from his eye. “I’ll explain it all it just probably isn’t something dad needs to be driving for.”

“Danny what do-”

“Just trust me okay?” he grinned at his mom in what he hoped was reassurance.

She sighed and looked at her husband, Jack furrowed his brows and the pair silently communicated before the man hit his turning signal.

The small side road was perfectly out of the way enough that no one would be able to peer in. It was some half abandoned picnic area but none of them reached for their seatbelts to leave the car. It was just the closest spot they could stop.

“Okay,” he started giving Jazz a look, she nodded comfortingly,” Remember how the portal didn’t work at first?”

It took them a moment but they nodded in remembrance.

“Right well I died.” it was best to just rip the Band-Aid off.

“What?”

“Danny- honey you’re not dead.”

He thought so at least, he sighed pinching his nose,” I need you guys to wait for questions till the end okay?”

“But honey you’re not dead!” she didn’t sound so sure as she looked him over.

“What your mother said my boy! You’re sitting right there!”

Danny groaned,” guys please?” there was a pause as they looked at each other and finally finally agreed to wait till the end. “Sam said I should check it out, see if I could fix it. I put on my suit, and,” he made a buzzing noise with his tongue,” the button shocked me to death when I hit it. It was dark so I didn't see,” he looked to the side. The trees outside were swaying peacefully in the wind. Jazz put a hand on his shoulder, he took a steading breath and clenched the hand with the thin invisible scars. “It was an accident but,” he turned back to them resolution in his eyes,” I died that day, When I woke up, well, brace yourselves okay,” he let the tugging cold of hic core shift and change his appearance.

There was silence. He’d expected something but, no, even Jazz wasn’t saying anything.

He cracked an eye open, his parents were staring at him dumbfounded. Yeah that was about par for the course.

“Well this happened and now, I’m half Ghost,” he admitted,” everyone in the ghost zone knows that’s why there were always so many attacks at the school.”

“Half?” his mom asked despite herself.

Danny nodded,” yeah I still age, and need to eat and breath... mostly on that last one. It’s kind of cool I can go invisible,” he demonstrated before changing back,” and phase through things and float,” he demonstrated both in succession allowing the belt to glide through him as he hovered up an inch. “Shoot Ecto-blasts… probably best if I don’t do that one in the car though,” he laughed.

“Okay,” his mom said.

“Okay?” he asked.

His father nodded,” sure Son, we love you. It’s weird but, well we hunt ghosts for a living.”

He laughed,” yeah fair enough.”

"I-" his mom looked over at Jack," We're proud of you sweetie, that's a lot to undertake at so young."

he chuckled," it wasn't so bad, I had a lot of help," he grinned at Jazz," Between her Sam and Tuck I don't know if I would have lasted half the battles I did."

"You knew Jazz?" Their father asked his tone soft and slightly hurt.

She smiled softly," yeah, I walked in on him transforming. Thought it was best if I let him tell you guys."

"Part of the apprehension might have been the dissection thing," Danny addmited.

"I- honey-" his mom put a hand over her mouth in shock.

"I'm sorry son," His dad said," it was closed minded of us to assume stuff about ghosts we didn't know."

"Well you weren't always wrong. Just usually."

“So ‘Elle?” his mom prompted before Jack could pepper in questions about what the got right.

He sighed,” yeah her full name is Danielle, technically she’s the only living clone of me Vlad made.”

“Only living Clone?”

“Vlad made?”

Man he had a lot to explain. Years of events just gone unsaid. Some small part of the divide between them was shifting, growing smaller.

“Is now a good time to tell you guys I have a girlfriend?”

Danny choked on a laugh. Not to long after his parents followed after the tension disrupted, Well at least he had Jazz to help explain. Sam and Tucker too when they weren’t busy. It'd be a mess and weird to finally clear the air between them, but at least he knew they were proud of him.

#My writing #danny phantom #trans danny fenton #trans danny phantom #everlasting trio #thats their ship name right? its not like super there its minor but ye #danny phantom exists in my brain in vague memories and nothing else #only the smallest amounts of cannon may be contained in this fic #idk i dont have enough brain to know tho #danphanwritingprompts

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metalbvcky · 4 years

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Back in May, I made my first Stucky Ficrec post and months later, I’ve decided to make another since this fandom is hella talented. There’s a little over two dozen fics down below ranging from 10k-100k+ and everything’s categorized.

Do note that lot of these are Modern AU’s (I love those) and most of them are smutty. (yes hello, an asexual here who enjoys smut so very much) Also heed the tags once you click the link(s). Other than that, enjoy!!!

Key: ♥ = My personal favorites, S = Smut, DS = Dom/Sub

a) CANON UNIVERSE

If You're Reading This, Steve Rogers by fallendarlings Words: 39,273 | Post/Canon Divergence 2012 Avengers/TWS, Recovery, Slow Burn

Nobody tells Steve it's okay to cry.

Nobody touches him.

Nobody remembers Steve Rogers is a person under the mantle. It's okay. He hasn't felt like a person since he watched Bucky fall.

don't threaten me with a good time ♥ by canistakahari - Words 10,106 | Post-TWS, Sick!Fic, Sick!Bucky, Cabin Fic

Steve's taken him on vacation to a cabin in Canada in the middle of winter, so it's obviously the perfect time for his body to go haywire. Bucky is determined to stick it out, though, partly because he's a stubborn bastard, but mostly because he feels some kinda way about Steve.

Higher Ground by EmilianaDarling - Words: 13,002 | Post-TWS, S, DS (undertones), Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve

“S’okay,” Bucky murmurs quietly, and Steve sucks in a sharp breath at the brush of Bucky’s lips against his ear, his breath hot against the side of Steve’s neck. There’s a hint of a grin in Bucky’s voice; amused affection and confidence and something heated beneath it all, a familiar tone from so long ago that makes Steve’s heart clench and his cock twitch helplessly in his jeans.

“S’okay, Stevie,” he says again, and Steve can feel the curl of Bucky’s lips against his throat when he smiles. His metal thumb is rubbing circles on Steve’s shoulder. “M’gonna take care of you.”

A year and a half after the events of The Winter Soldier, Steve's been acting recklessly. Bucky deals with it as best he can.

The Simple Life ♥ from The Simple Life Series by howler32557038 - Words: 114,329 (Series Total: 337,273 + ongoing) | Canon Universe, MPreg, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

"The simple life."

"You'll get there one day."

"I don't know. Family, stability...The guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out."

Bucky wants to be part of Steve's life. He wants to be an Avenger. He wants to be a good partner. Unfortunately, sometimes that means not telling Steve everything.

a road less traveled by Claudia_flies, cyclamental art (cyclamental),maichan, zilia - Words: 75,396 | 2012 Timeline AU, Post-Avengers 2012 (Endgame Divergence), Domestic Avengers, Recovering!Bucky

Steve wakes up on the cold stone floor of the foyer. He scrambles up; there’s glass shards everywhere and they crunch under his gloved hands. People are staring, holding themselves back. They must have seen the fight, must have seen two of him.

His own voice rings in his head.

“Bucky is alive!”

Kept Safe by Whendoestheshipsail (restricted to AO3 users only) - Words: 54,419 | S, DS, BDSM

Steve and Bucky are friends. Best Friends. If asked, Bucky would say he knows absolutely everything about Steve. Except when it comes to sex. Steve lives such a monastic existence that Bucky doesn't know if he likes girls, boys, or none of the above. For all he knows, Steve may have no interest in sex whatsoever.

But then a mission goes wrong, Steve is bleeding out from a wound to the femoral artery and Bucky is trying to stop the bleeding when his hand brushes against metal. Where there most definitely shouldn't be metal. Or a padlock. And most definitely not a torturously small cage.

48 hours by Whendoestheshipsail (restricted to AO3 users only) - Words: 25,894 | Post-CW, S, DS, Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve

Steve is keeping it together. No one would say he's keeping it together well, but he's getting by. Mission after mission, he goes back to his apartment in Wakanda and breaks down. Then he watches Bucky sleep and tries to not notice how everyone looks at him like he's the saddest bastard that ever lived.

But, this time is different. This time, Steve goes back to his apartment post-mission and Bucky is awake, out of cryo and making them dinner in Steve's kitchen. The breakdown is still happening. Bucky isn't pleased, but he does have a plan. For 48 hours after every mission, Steve is going to let Bucky take care of him or he's going to be on Steve's next mission. He can't risk losing Bucky again. Which should make the decision simple.

It isn't simple.

The Sex Therapist ♥ by Whendoestheshipsail (restricted to AO3 users only) - Words: 179,941 | S, DS, DKink, Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve, Current/Past Steve/Sharon

Sharon has given him an ultimatum- either go to sex therapy or it's over. Sex therapy sounds like normal therapy but more humiliating and expensive. It's total BS. He will go because she's making him, but he will also make everyone's lives miserable (Yeah, including his own) and never return again.

Do they have a lot of sex? No. Does Sharon want more sex? Yes. Does Steve do his best? Yeah, actually, he does. He can get it up, he just needs time. Alone. There's... preparation involved. It's not like one just 'is' aroused.

He can't explain it. And he won't. He definitely won't tell Bucky what exactly he thinks about to get worked up enough to screw his girlfriend.

Found My Place in Time - Cap_D, humapuma - Words: 12,492 | Post-EG (Divergence, duh) S, Fluff, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

“Buck,” he heard Steve say, “wake up. We’re here.” Bucky opened his eyes and rolled his shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension out of his back. When Steve’s words sunk in, though, he turned and leaned forward, staring past Steve’s chest to look out the window. Beyond the wing of the plane, he found a beautiful coastline with white sand, blue waters, and palm trees, as well as rows of bungalows on the water. “Wow,” he murmured. “We’re staying in one of those, right?”

In which Steve invites Bucky on a trip to Fiji and they discover something a lot more than beautiful vistas and friendly locals.

Total Institution ♥ from the Institutions of Love and Incarceration series by thelittlestpurplecat - Words: 94,303 | Canon Universe AU, Prison!AU, Guard!Steve, Prisoner!Bucky, Unrequited Love, Slow Burn, WS Trial

The Winter Soldier has been sentenced to life without parol. His entire world had been condensed to a hot, cramped cell that he hasn't seen the outside of in the four years since his apprehension. It's hell. He has no means of escape, no means of terminating his suffering, and no means of distraction...that is, until he's assigned a new guard. Steve Rogers is assigned the Winter Soldier as his singular charge. He expects a sadistic, violent murderer. What he finds instead is a broken, tormented man with no memory of his past life, and no control over what had been done to him. He's a victim. Not a monster. And Steve won't stand to see him pay for crimes over which he had no control.

Raise Your Glass by minkeys - Words: 10,008 | Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve, Light DS, S, DKink

Bucky knows Steve in ways that his 21st century friends could never even begin to imagine. Or at least, they couldn't until tonight. It's about time somebody corrected all those historians that painted Steve as a straight-laced, God-fearing soldier, and what better way to do it than over a harmless game of "Never Have I Ever." What's the worst that could be said?

b) SHRUNKYCLUNKS

Waking Up Slow ♥ by odetteandodile - Words: 44,638 | Dad!Bucky, Kid!Fic, Hurt/Comfort

In 1945 Steve Rogers crashed the Valkyrie into the Arctic Ocean and was never recovered.

In 2019 Bucky Barnes is walking along the beach below the decommissioned lighthouse where he lives with his sixteen month old daughter when he finds the body of a man washed up in the surf, half frozen but miraculously alive.

Bucky manages to revive him, but finds that the stranger has no memory of who he is or how he got here aside from a name: Steve. Snowed in by a blizzard soon after and unable to get Steve a medevac, Bucky discovers that the funny, good-hearted man slips into the fabric of his and Alice’s life faster than he would have thought possible. The two are undeniably drawn to each other, but as their feelings grow so does the looming possibility that the answer to the question “who is Steve?” might be much more complicated than either of them realized.

Isn't It Ironic? (Don't You Think?) ♥ by HeyBoy, Huntress79, imhereforgaysuperheroes - Words: 33,342 | Jewish, Dad!Bucky, Kid!Fic

Bucky is used to his daughter bursting into tears in the middle of department stores. What he isn't used to is someone braving the wails and actually being able to stop Becca's tantrum in its tracks. Oh, and he's also not used to that someone being Captain America.

AKA, how Steve Rogers calms a screaming kid in Target and falls in love with two more Barneses than he had bargained for.

in my condition love's the best physician by aniloquent - Words: 9,177 | Pharmacy!AU, Russian!Bucky

“This situation is a little more delicate because I don't even know if he speaks English and I'm tired of going down to the pharmacy for constipation medication and allergy pills when I haven't sneezed since 1941.” Steve shouts.

The room falls silent, and he turns back around to find four pairs of stunned eyes watching him.

Tony, as always, speaks first. “He?”

Or the one where Bucky is a hot pharmacist and Steve keeps making up bullshit reasons to go see him.

c) MODERN AU

Home Is Wherever I'm With You ♥ by cydonic - Words: 88,570 | Neighbors!AU, Slow Burn, Parent!Steve, Kid!Fic

This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.

That House-Flipper!AU.

if only you could see me (for the pie that i am) ♥ by bitelikefire (theoleo) | Words: 35,121 | Baker!Steve, WeddingPlanner!Bucky

In which Steve is the proud owner of Frost; a semi famous local bakery in D.C. And despite the overwhelming insistence that it’s about time he start dating, Steve swears up and down he isn’t ready for that.

Or as of recently, just doesn’t have the time because of Mr. Barnes. The highly demanding wedding planner on the phone who keeps asking for nearly impossible deliveries and maybe Steve would like to personally strangle him. Maybe.

(There is pie. And misunderstandings. But a lot more desserts and eye rolls.)

So Alive ♥ from the Brooklyn Heights Books Series by GottaSaveBucky (Cosmic_Entity_1of4) - Words: 109,074 (Series Total: 165,440 + ongoing) | Bookstore!AU (sort of), Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky, DKink

A man wearing a light denim jacket over a dark blue shirt came into the shop, a box tucked under his right arm. Despite it being late afternoon, he was wearing sunglasses with bright blue lenses, and his long, dark hair was pulled back in a messy little bun. A few strands had escaped, framing his strong, unshaven jawline. The man looked into the café, smiled widely, and waved in Clint’s direction as he kept walking into the bookstore, and Steve’s mouth went completely dry.

Beautiful, was the only word to describe that smile; straight, white teeth framed by full, lush, red lips, bracketed by laugh lines and an adorable dimple in his right cheek, a charming little chin cleft just visible under the light stubble—Steve was struck literally speechless. And that was before he got a glimpse of the man’s backside. Slim hips and a round, firm-looking ass led to long, lean legs that were encased in snug, dark blue jeans.

“Guh,” Steve said, watching the dark-haired man continue on to the back of the store.

The Penthouse Suite ♥ by elle1991 - Words: 15,873 | S, DS, BSDM, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky, Happy Ending

Bucky Barnes has the chance to earn $5,000 in one night. All he has to do is go to the penthouse suite of a luxury hotel and spend the night with his client, one enigmatic Steve Rogers.

The catch? Steve is a massive pervert, intent on using this one night to satisfy every single one of his many debauched kinks.

Even ignoring the big box of sex toys on the bed, Bucky should have known he was in trouble the moment Steve opened his mouth and said his first words: "My name is Steve Rogers, but you can call me Sir..."

Burnin' For You by GoldBlooded - Words: 15,753 | Firefighter!Steve, Detective!Bucky, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

Steve Rogers is Fire Captain of Brooklyn’s very busy Station 118. He wants three things out of life: People he can count on, for everyone to get through their shifts safe and sound, and for Sergeant James Barnes to get the hell off of his arson scene.

James Barnes is Detective Sergeant of Brooklyn’s very busy 107th Precinct. He wants three things out of life: A decent cup of coffee, good leads to chase, and for Captain Steven Rogers to get the hell off of his arson scene.

Everyone knows to steer clear when these two have to deal with each other. Everyone knows about their mutual dislike and sometimes hatred. But what everyone doesn't know? How they got to be like that in the first place.

Collar Full of Chemistry ♥ from the Rich People Are Wild Series by 2bestfriends - Words: 188,437 (Series Total: 219,519) | Heavy BDSM, DS, S, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

Steve is very rich and desperate to feel in control of his life again after a recent divorce has left him feeling bitter and lonely. When he keeps crossing paths with a disaster twenty-something, an unconventional solution presents itself. Steve's always been one for following his instincts.

Bucky is very broke and can't seem to catch a break, especially after some asshole fires him for one fucking mistake. So of course, it follows that he should sign a contract agreeing to do everything and anything that same asshole wants for a whole year in exchange for a payout that could finally change his life for the better.

Toothpaste Kisses ♥ by buckybees - Words: 18,736 | Dentist!Steve, Patient!Bucky, Amputee!Bucky

Sitting in the horribly antiseptic gateway to hell, otherwise known as the waiting room, Bucky was deeply reassessing his life choices. Maybe if he didn’t eat ice cream for every meal this wouldn’t have happened.

Steve's a dentist, Bucky's a patient. You know the drill.

Out of the Blue ♥ by IsabellaJack - Words: 37,564 | PreSerum!Steve, Detective!Bucky (and Sam!), Mystery!Fic

“Does she have family?” Barnes asks again.

Steve tries to remember. “I don’t know.”

“You sing her praises and don’t know a simple info like that?” Barnes huffs, looking irritated.

Love Is An Ocean Wide by fancyh - Words: 29,009 | Shapeshifter!AU, Orca!Bucky, Marine Biologist!Steve

When marine biologist Steve Rogers helps to rescue an injured orca from the marine traffickers Hydra, he has no idea how his life will change. Once rehabilitated, the orca is released and disappears, and a despondent Steve throws himself into his work, only to feel a spark when a new volunteer arrives, a man with one arm and curiously familiar blue eyes.

Bucky has lived in the ocean his whole life. But when his family is killed and his sister captured by Hydra, he is forced to turn to humans for help. One human in particular intrigues him, a man by the name of Steve. As Bucky comes ashore to search for his sister, he finds himself falling for the man, but dangerous secrets still stand between them.

Includes clueless-about-humans Bucky, heart-eyes-Steve, and lots of Very Important rocks.

Innocent Until ♥ by L1av - Words: 136,866 | Lawyer!Bucky, Defendant!Steve, DS, BDSM, Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve

Bucky Barnes made a name for himself as the attorney who could get anyone off, but he still lives by the saying, "Innocent until proven guilty." Steve Rogers finds himself on trial for multiple homicides but he swears he was only trying to protect a girl. Bucky's been in this business long enough to know when someone's innocent, and Steve is innocent. Steve already feels like a monster and Bucky's worried this guy's going to lay himself on the sword come his trial. So Bucky offers up another course for punishment:

Turns out, chains and whips really excite Steve.

Brooklyn Syndrome ♥ by lordelannette - Words: 158,350 | DARKFIC, Dark!Steve (VERY DARK, heed the tags, you have been warned) Doctor!Steve, Writer!Bucky, Kidnapping, Slow Burn, Graphic Violence

Bucky's back was pressed against the cold floor and he stared through blurry eyes as Steve stood over him. He was trying to push himself as far away as he could, using his hands and bare feet to slide himself out from between Steve's legs but he couldn't find purchase against the wooden floor. Steve's legs were locked on both sides of his hips and Bucky couldn't move, couldn't get away, and the room was swimming before his eyes and he couldn't focus, couldn't think straight. All he could make out was the hazy figure of Steve towering over him and he lifted his arm to push uselessly at Steve's shin.

"P-please," Bucky whispered. His voice was weak, like him, and his jaw trembled as Steve reached down.

Steve slid down onto the floor and effortlessly gathered him into his strong arms, cradling Bucky to his chest as he leaned against the wall. "Bucky," Steve breathed. One of his large hands slid gently into Bucky's hair, the other curving against his spine and pulling him even closer. "You're mine now, remember?"

Steve's grip tightened then it all went black.

lay me down (tell me i've been found) by coffeeinallcaps - Words: 25,188 | Modern!AU, DS, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

The collar is a little on the heavy side, and incredibly soft against Bucky's skin. Even softer than he thought it would be. It seems to fit snugly, and for a second he feels like he can't breathe. Then, Steve slides two fingers under the collar and runs them along the inside, almost all the way around. Bucky shivers. Goose bumps spread down his back, his arms. "How does it feel?" Steve murmurs, hooking his fingers into the ring and giving a gentle tug on it. Bucky swallows. Nods.

(In which billionaire businessman Steve shows up and turns Bucky's life into an improbable fantasy.)

All Those Things You've Always Pined For by LavenderProse - Words: 92,142 | Family Man (2000) aka the Nicholas Cage movie AU, Domestic, Kid!Fic, PreSerum!Steve

“Steve Rogers. I haven’t thought about him in…God, at least ten years. Probably longer." “Who is he?” Sharon asks, and perches on the corner of his desk, hands folded in her lap. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Bucky clears his throat, tosses the sticky note onto the desk. “Steve was…my college boyfriend. We almost got married.”

It's been fifteen years since Bucky Barnes left Steve Rogers standing in a New York airport and never saw him again. Those fifteen years have brought him wealth and stability; everything his lower middle class Brooklyn upbringing had not provided. He is happy. He doesn't want for anything. He doesn't need anything. That's about to change.

Karma's A Fake Orgasm ♥ by daisymondays - Words: 51,637 | College!AU, Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, Slow Burn

There’s another abandoned mug, festering with mould in the living room — Steve offically has the world's worst roommates. And complains about them. Often. Bucky, tired of his lack of action, decides it’s time to avenge Steve's sleepless nights and unsanitary conditions once and for all. They’ll pretend to be the world’s most annoying couple: excessive PDA, loud fake sex, and general repugnance. The plan sounds easy enough; it will be strictly platonic. Or will it?

I'll Be Your Shield by 17 pansies (17pansies) - Words: 23,332 | Bodyguard!Steve, Rich!Bucky, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

"If he's just minor nobility, why does he need a bodyguard?" Steve shoved the folder which held Barnes' details towards the middle of the table. "He's not exactly prime kidnap material."

"His parents aren't worried about kidnapping," Fury said. "They need someone to steer him away from the dumb ass situations he keeps getting into."

"You mean he needs a babysitter." Steve sat back and folded his arms. "Seriously."

I think this is a pretty diverse list :) There’s a good sample of everything here, some old fashioned post TWS recovery fics, some good dom steve/bucky, slow burns, fake pretend relationships and so forth!

PS: I’m on AO3 with more bookmarks plus my own hurt/comfort fics if anyone is interested :P

#stucky #stevebucky #bucky barnes x steve rogers #shrunkyclunks #stucky fanfiction #stucky fanfic rec #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction rec #stucky fic #stucky fic rec #modern au #canon divergence #marvel #my reclist #long post for ts

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mizunetzu · 4 years

Note

Maybe some Kuroo x Male reader,, I just need some of my boy 😩

Of course !!! Kuroos the HOMIE I tell you-

————

Kuroo x reader - I’m not gay

⚠️ Warnings - Confused reader, pretty much none

Prounouns - Male, He/Him

——————

I’m not gay,

is what (y/n) told himself, at age 7.

He was over at his friends house, deciding on a movie to watch before they had to go to sleep.

When he held up a rather feminine looking cd, one of them snickered, and the other didn’t even spare it a glance.

“(Y/n)- thats for girls!”

“I-I know that! Shut up! It...it looked interesting...”

“Kuroo-give (y/n) a break...” Kenma murmured, looking up from his Ds briefly.

——

I’m not gay,

Is what (y/n) told himself, in his third year of Junior high school.

He wasn’t going to lie when he said he was a bit curious about the topic, but he’d never considered himself being attracted to the same gender.

Which is why he asked his close female friend if he could kiss her.

It was an odd question, but (y/n) needed to settle something within himself. Just a quick peck on the lips to see if the feelings would go away.

(Y/n) was rather surprised when she nodded yes, because people usually say no when people ask you to kiss them. But he wasn’t disappointed, no.

She leaned up on her tippy toes, pressing a chaste kiss onto (y/n’s) lips, before settling back down on the balls of her feet and hiding her flushed face with the mass of her uniforms sleeves. She peeked through her fingers to see (y/n’s) eyes fixed on the ground in front of him, with a distasteful frown gracing his features.

That didn’t feel right, (y/n) thought.

——

I’m...im not....

Is what (Y/n) told himself, during his second year of high school.

He was in the volleyball club in his school, and the intrusive thoughts hadn’t cross his mind since back in junior high. It was actually going pretty good.

He only had one girlfriend the entire time he was in high school, but he ended it pretty quickly to focus on himself, his feelings, and building Nekoma’s defense. (Hell yeah, sports!!)

Nekoma had a training camp where other schools were invited, which is how he found himself sitting in a circle with a few other teammates and managers, playing ‘never have I ever’.

Most of Nekoma was crowded in the circle, with some stragglers from fukurodani, and Tanaka with Nishinoya and Hinata.

The managers from other schools, both fukurodani’s managers, along with Kyoko and Yachi were there too. (Y/n) was pretty sure that Tanaka, Nishinoya, and maybe Yamamoto were only there to “protect Kiyoko Senpai”, but hey, at least they had more players that way.

People went around saying things like “never have I ever cheated on an exam”, “never have I ever served straight to the libero,” or “never have I ever been the cause of bokutos emo mode”

(That question itself put bokuto in his emo mode)

(Y/n) was the only one who had all fingers up, followed by Kuroo, who had only 2 fingers down, then Akaashi, with 4 fingers down.

It was going pretty smoothly until Yukie, one of Fukurodani’s managers, asked,

“Never have I ever had a crush on someone in this circle.”

Not many people put a finger down, but the question made (y/n’s) questionable thoughts come back in a flash. It forced him to think if he did find any of the girls in the circle attractive, and after ruling all them out, he, half jokingly, turned his attention to the boys.

His eyes drifted from each of the volleyball players, until his eyes landed on Kuroo.

Kuroo. One of his childhood friends. Someone he, regretfully, considered attractive. I mean, he had a nice build, he was in the college preparatory classes, and his thighs could crush-

No, shut up. He’s a man.

You’re a man.

....What the fuck?

(Y/n) didn’t even notice his finger fold itself in, until everyone gasped and started berating him with squeals and questions.

“Who is it?!?”

“It better not be Kiyoko Senpai!”

“It has to be to be Kaori, (Y/n’s) been talking to her alooooot lately!”

He couldn’t help but scrunch up his nose at the idea of dating one of Fukurodani’s managers.

“It’s...it’s not Kaori, no offense but I’d never date Kaori...” (Y/n) mused out as nonchalantly as he could. The second those words flew out of his mouth, he regretted not pretending it was Kaori, so they could drop the topic.

Everyone’s comments went in one of (y/n’s) ear and out the other, until yaku cleared his throat and said,

“If it’s not any of the managers, is it a guy then?”

All of the questions died down almost instantly. (Y/n) felt his blood ran cold.

“I mean...is it?” Akaashi broke the silence, maintaining direct eye contact with (y/n).

I’m not too sure with myself, (y/n) thought, chuckling dryly.

With (y/n’s) answer, or lack thereof, everyone started listing off the boys names or saying “is it me?? If it is sorry dude! Haha..” or some variations of that.

(Y/n) felt like he was going to combust with all the “is it —?’s” and “is it me’s??” He never wanted to think about it again, yet here he was, being-

“Is it Kuroo?” Bokuto grinned, half joking, gesturing to the 3rd year sitting right next to him.

(Y/n’s) eyes widened comically. Was it Kuroo?

He wasn’t sure why this one flushed him so bad. His hands started trembling from their spot in the air, and a red tint spread across his face like a virus. He knew he admired his captain, but having a full blown crush on him? He didn’t dare look up at everyone’s prying gaze, instead suddenly finding immense interest in a broken seam in his red volleyball shorts.

“Oh my god, it is Kuroo!” Someone squealed, probably someone like Bokuto. All their voices seemed to merge together and sound the same. People were gasping, nudging (y/n’s) shoulder, or saying stuff like “I support you!!” Or “you too would be soooo cute together!”

(Y/n) brought his fingers down and entangled them in his sweaty hair. “I’m..I’m not gay. I’m not...” (Y/n) rasped out defensively, trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

Warm hands grasped his wrists, pulling them away from (y/n) gently, forcing him to look up. Kuroo held a shit eating grin that made (y/n’s) stomach churn in both a good way and a horrible, horrible way.

“Oi oi, it’s ok to like boys (y/n)-what, are you in denial or someth-“

“Shut up! I’m straight, and I don’t like you! Don’t touch me!” (Y/n) suddenly lashed out, whipping his wrists out from Kuroo’s hold. He stood up abruptly, choked out a weak “I’m gonna get some fresh air” and staggered out of the room.

No one seemed to notice that Kuroo had put a finger down, as well.

——

Im not gay. I’m not gay. I’m not gay.

Is what (y/n) repeatedly told himself, in the bathroom.

(Y/n) threw water onto his face, before slapping his cheeks as hard as he can. He then backed into the bathroom wall and let himself sink down to the cold floor tiles.

“Goddamit...nnNNFUCK!” (Y/n) dug both his fists into the dirty bathroom floor. His hands stung from the impact. A sigh escaped from his lips as he hid his sopping wet face into his hands.

“What...the fuck...I’m not...they’re just...just stupid! Yeah! They’re stupid and I don’t have a crush on stupid Kuroo! Yeah! Y-Yeah..! .....Yeah...”

He sat in silence for what seemed like forever, before he got sick of listening to his own thoughts. He shakily brought himself up to his feet, and exited the bathroom.

——

Im not gay,

Is what (y/n) told himself, more calmly than before, heading towards the sleeping rooms with a stable smile.

He almost made it scott-free before he felt a hand firmly grasp his shoulder.

“Hey.”

(Y/n) didn’t dare to turn around.

“I...they..might’ve jumped to conclusions, but I really need to know.”

Do you now? Cause I’d like to know, too.

A heavy silence consumed both of them whole. Kuroo forced (y/n) to turn around, tilting his head up with his finger.

“Do you like me.” It was more like a statement than a question.

“I...i don’t know? I think? Maybe?? I-I’m not sure...” Kuroos serious gaze boor holes into (y/n’s) face.

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t know! I mean-I’ve always thought about it, but I never considered that I could be...y’know...and I never really thought about you like that till Bokuto brought it up...”

Kuroo was tacken aback by the sudden raise in pitch, but quickly regained his neutral expression.

“Kiss me.”

It was (Y/n’s) turn to be shocked.

“What-“

“You heard me.”

“You can’t be serious,” (y/n) awkwardly chuckled. He ran fingers through his hair. “Kuroo, hey-“

The middle blocker grabbed hold of the (h/c) boy. He yelped and struggled in his grasp, but Kuroo held his hand firm.

“You don’t know how you feel about me, right? Do you want your answer or not?”

It was rare moments like these where Kuroo wasn’t being smug, or wearing his shit-eating grin, that ignited a confusing flame inside (y/n’s) chest and/or dick. (Y/n) let out a shaky breath.

“Yeah, fine-whatever lets get it over with.” (Y/n) grumbled, red in the face.

Kuroo took hold of (y/n’s) chin with his thumb and index finger, and snaked his other arm around the boys waist. He leaned in slowly, letting their lips meet in the middle.

This didn’t feel similar to the kiss he had in junior high. It felt better. It didn’t feel forced or boring like it did when he kissed that girl, this one feels nice. (Y/n) let his eyes flutter closed while he clutched Kuroos shoulders weakly.

Kuroo began to pull away, but (y/n) whimpered and lunged forward to connect their lips once more. It was a sensation that he never wanted to let go of, but of course, air was also something he couldn’t live without.

They pulled away simultaneously, (y/n) very obviously heaving while Kuroo let out a few deep exhales.

“So...” Kuroo said, wiping spit from his swollen red lips. “How do-“

“I love you.” (Y/n) said, testing the words out on his tongue.

“Hm?” Kuroos vague response dug a pit into (y/n’s) stomach. Did I misread this situation?

(Y/n) broke into a cold sweat. “Aah...I mean-I think, no hard feelings if you don’t like dudes-I mean I just found out myself so it’s all good-“ Kuroos booming, stupid hyena laugh broke (y/n) out of his rambling session. (Y/n) looked up at the middle blocker, and slowly relaxed and let himself smile at his antics.

“You really think too much...” Kuroo said, wiping an invisible tear from his eye. “Don’t worry, I like you too~”

He patted the boy on his head, as (y/n’s) cheeks flushed involuntarily.

I could be gay,

(Y/n) told himself, hand in hand with his newly found boyfriend, Kuroo Tetsurō.

And that’s fine by me.

———————

Extra:

“Get it, (y/n)! Kuroo! Use a condom boys!” Bokuto yelled, from behind a gym wall with Akaashi. The two turned around, surprised.

“Sorry. Bokuto was curious when you said ‘I need to find my new boyfriend, I’ll be right back’, and left.” Akaashi said, fiddling with his ring finger.

“It’s fine. I wasn’t lying when I said ‘new boyfriend’ though, huh, (Y/n)?” Kuroo smirked, slapping his ‘new boyfriend’ firm on the ass. (Y/n) gave a yelp before blushing and clutching the spot where Kuroo smacked.

It would’ve been fine if it was a normal person who slapped him, but in his case, it wasn’t.

But let me tell you, volleyball players spikes are very, very hard. And Kuroo was no exception.

There was a hand-shaped mark on (Y/n’s) ass for a week straight.

————————

#kuroo x male reader #kuroo testuro #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro imagine #kuroo fluff #kuroo tetsuro x reader #tetsurou x reader #haikyuu kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!

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zaptap · 3 years

Photo

ive made a few of these bingo sheets and theyre fun so i decided to make one not just for e3 but also JUST for splatoon 3 (not just for e3 but for like the whole lifetime of the game). also heres my updated list of characters id like to see in smash, ordered generally by which id like more and/or think are the most realistic

since min min got in i took out helix, and since i couldnt decide whether to add in waluigi or madeline i added another row (realistically i dont think any indies are getting in but i threw some in anyway). also i was like “oh yeah maybe theyd put in a gen viii pokemon” so i threw in hatterene since thats one of my favorites.

also as for waluigi (and shovel knight for that matter) i think it would be nice to see an assist trophy get in just to break that rule. also i remember being super surprised he wasnt in brawl (back then i thought he and wario were equally important) and even though that was based on a wrong impression ive still felt like he should be in there ever since

notes about the bingos under the cut

really is about time for those n64 games, especially now that mario is dead so theyre free to release sm64 on it. game boy games would be nice sometime too

would also make sense to include banjo-kazooie in that, nintendos had a good relationship with microsoft lately and the total absence of anything banjo-kazooie on the switch is odd since it’s a dlc character (every other one has a game on switch they can use for cross-marketing, even if joker’s took a while) and i think the best explanation for that would be that theyre holding off for the nso n64 app (this is easiest from a technical standpoint because all they have to do is make a deal to use the roms)

when are they putting octolings in mk8d

xenoblade chronicles x is one of the only wii u games left that they could port (aside from ones that wouldnt make much sense like splatoon and ssb4) so i guess that might as well happen sometime. also monolith soft might be doing something else besides helping with splatoon 3

im not ready for metroid prime 4 (im over halfway through mp2 and therefore the trilogy as a whole) but it’s been a while, they might show it and it could even come out this year

hal apparently recently hinted at a new kirby game or something

the upgraded switch is obviously going to be called the Nintendo Switch ͥ since they already did the ds lite so theyre clearly naming everything in the family after the ds family, theres absolutely no flaw in this logic. idk if theyre showing it, but unlike 2019 they didnt say they werent showing new hardware (just that they were showing software, which could be taken as denying rumors, but they sometimes specify when certain things arent being shown)

metroid prime trilogy also might come this year. would make sense to release it before mp4 since not everyone is going to buy a wii u to get it (and at this point that doesnt get nintendo any money since they stopped making them)

where is detective pikachu 2. i hope it has the blue pikachu from that first tease they gave us in like 2014 (2013? that was a loooong time ago idk)

they said this was MOSTLY 2021 so i am absolutely getting my hopes up for splatoon 2

the two sinnoh games could likely be there

would be super cool if oddity came to switch. and almost as ironic as megalovania getting into smash

we havent seen the botw sequel for a couple years so we’re kind of due for an update on that

it’s ace attorney’s 20th anniversary this year so maybe theyre doing something. theyre already porting those games though so idk. maybe he’s getting in smash

whats with that watermelon mario render

i held off on watching a playthrough for ndrv3 on the off chance it came to switch and i could play a dangan ronpa game for real for once but it’s now been 4 years and we just passed the 10th anniversary of the series (albeit during a pandemic when i wouldnt expect them to have done anything) so it would be cool to see the series come to switch. i think if it still doesnt after this though i’ll just watch the playthrough, 4 years is long enough. amazed ive avoided spoilers this long, i still know next to nothing about the game

im about done with acnh but im still waiting on those splatoon items. and i ran out of storage in february so i need more of that too

nintendo did stuff for zelda’s 30th anniversary so i doubt theyre forgetting the 35th. maybe wwhd/tphd ports, idk

been a couple years since fire emblem, intelligent systems is probably up to something besides planning yet another paper mario spinoff

miyamoto forgot pikmin 4 in the oven 6 years ago and it got burnt to a crisp and thats why it hasnt come out yet because he had to start over

and splatoon

the inklings scared daft punk into quitting so now that theres no competition in the robot musician scene they should have a daft punk style group

i waited and waited and neither of my top two splatoon stages (flounder and d’alfonsino) came back in splatoon 2 so i hope just because splatoon 3 isnt in inkopolis doesnt mean they still wont return

would be sick as hell if there was a real hide and seek mode instead of just sticking to your own rules in private battles. havent played that since 2015 but it was super fun

show us the effects of the chaos world

i wanted mc craig to have a song in octo expansion and they didnt deliver. heres another chance

splatnet 3 baby

cant wait for nogami to do a funny 3 pose

abxy came back for splatoon 2.... am i gonna be that lucky again...?

salmon run doesnt make sense if youre friends with a smallfry but they could either change the story context (you just fight “evil” salmonids?) or replace it with an equally fun co-op mode

amiibo!!! i think i said this before but they should label them by weapons if these cephalopods dont have genders, would make more sense (the gendered ones had different weapons anyway)

returning characters!!!! would like to see everyone have a role of some kind

maybe #GearForAll wasnt successful in getting the emperor/spy/mecha gear, but perhaps theyll at least consider not making that stuff exclusive this time around

squid girl gear should be back. and they should call it a dress instead of a tunic because its a dress. and theres no gender now anyway

as ive said before... TRIPLIES!! you hold one in each hand and another in your mouth. and you can spin around like the tasmanian devil

remove splatfest tee annoyances: you should have a prompt at the end of a splatfest to pay to scrub your tee (to make sure you get the chunks) also it should be on a neutral brand so you dont end up with an overabundance of ink resistance up (or whatever else)

better online and cloud saves would certainly justify having a second splatoon game on the same console, as much as im loving that it exists

hopefully theres a global testfire again

sooner or later the workers will rise up and kill mr grizz

remember in splatoon 1 where if you had squid beatz (via the amiibo) you could “play” it in the lobby and change the music? then you were stuck listening to only bubble bath in splatoon 2? why did they take that option away they should bring it back

looking at those apartment buildings in the trailer i think it would be cool if you had your own room and could decorate it

an octavio redemption arc would be fun to see. in the manga he stole the zapfish because the octarians had an energy crisis, and in the end they worked out a deal to share the electricity

#nintendo direct #e3 #e3 2021 #splatoon 3 #splatoon #ssbu

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surferboypizzas · 3 years

Text

The Reconciliation

summary: an ahs; coven fix-it-fic in which zoe tricks kyle and madison into reconciling.

warning: this fic includes discussion of s*xual assault and death. also swearing.

what you need to know about this au before reading:

Zoe was friends with Kyle before he died, and when Zoe and Madison brought zombified Kyle back to the coven, he was taken in by the small school.

There never was (and is not currently) anything romantic or sexual going on between Zoe, Madison, and Kyle.

Kyle did attempt to kill madison, he did not succeed. Ironically, he was stopped by Zoe, who (newly resurrected by Cordelia) ran upstairs after hearing screaming.

Fiona did not "fix" (I hate using that word in relation to him, but still) Kyle the way she does in the show.

The school has not been opened up to other witches outside of the coven, but this is a while after the events of Coven.

Misty and Nan are alive.

Madison and Zoe aren't gross people. Think of a gross bad thing they've done? It's gone. I've erased it. Never happened. We all know Queenie is the only canonically good person who is also a witch student in Coven.

~~~

"Ok. Now, Kyle, you go first." Zoe speaks from her space in between Kyle and Madison, who are standing across her room from each other. Snow falls outside, and the school’s old heater creaks in the background. For the last two weeks, Zoe had been waiting for the perfect moment to trap these two in a room together and convince them to make amends. Kyle turns to look at Zoe with a face of pure disbelief.

“Sh-” He points to Madison with his eyes wide, “She ki-killed me!”

Zoe looked at him with her arms crossed. “And you tried to kill her! C’mon, Kyle. Please just- apologize?” Kyle squinted at her and then sighed, nodding his head and pressing his palms together nervously while he turned back to Madison.

“I’m so-rry. Sorry.” He apologized half-heartedly. He could never say no to his friends, especially Zoe.

Madison smiled and sarcastically placed her hand over her heart. “Well, that was moving. I think we really made a breakthrough here! Thanks, Kyle! See ya!" Madison starts to make her way out of the room before Zoe grabs her arm to keep her from leaving. Madison slows to a stop right in front of the door.

“Madison.” When Madison still didn’t turn to look at her, Zoe uses her nickname. “Mads, you made up with Misty, who you actually tried to kill, is it so hard to make up with Kyle?" Madison rolled her eyes at Zoe’s trademark ‘mom tone’ that she only used with her. She hated how Zoe had started to shift the way she spoke to be tailored to each person around her. At first, Madison thought it was just some weird baby voice she used on Kyle, until one day she realized Zoe had given her a baby voice too. That she had started treating Madison like she was going to throw a fit if not handled in a specific way. She finally turns back to face Zoe.

“Give me one reason why I should, and- don’t give me that ‘because I said so’ bullshit," Madison says. Zoe pauses for a second before pulling both Madison and herself back to their original spots.

“Listen up, you are both very important to me and the rest of our family,” Zoe started (Madison already wanted to Vincent van Gogh her ears off), “and it would mean a lot if you two were to make up. I love you both, and I just want the people I love to get along. Is that really so hard to understand and achieve?” Zoe ends her sentence looking at Madison with a slightly pleading look.

Madison glances at Kyle and sees how easily his grumpy face melted into a grin at the word ‘family’ and rolls her eyes. “Fine.” She spoke, then sees Kyle’s smile grow. “Not for you, dumbass. For Zoe.” Kyle blinks at her dumbfounded, but not quite offended. Zoe looks between the two, she is clearly thrilled that her plan is working, but is attempting to contain her delight.

"So... I'm like... sorry. I guess." Madison says, clearly uncomfortable. Zoe moves her hand signaling her to keep going, (this is also an attempt to teach Kyle non-punchy conflict resolution skills, after all). So Madison restarts. this time actually looking Kyle in the eye.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for killing you, and I'm sorry for bringing you back." Kyle’s face twists in confusion at those last words, why would she be sorry for bringing him to the coven? Was she being sarcastic? It didn't feel like she was. He thinks Madison is finished for a moment, but she continues. "I'm going to be soft as hell for a second, so Kyle, listen up because I will never repeat this. Ever. And if you bring this up ever again I will gaslight the shit out of you and deny it ever happened. Now, you," she pointed at Zoe, "Need to leave so that I can be honest."

“Wait- me?” Zoe points at herself in confusion.

“No bitch, the ghost behind you. Yes, you. Trust me.” Madison says, gesturing at her to leave the room. Kyle and Zoe look at each other (Kyle seeming a little nervous), then Zoe nods and exits the room, closing the door behind her. For a moment Zoe considers eavesdropping through the door, but then decides to take the moral high ground... and considers listening with a spell instead.

Madison walks around Kyle to drape herself over Zoe’s soft chair by the window, and Kyle sits on Zoe’s bed, having to carefully move her books to do so. There is a moment of awkward silence, and Kyle starts picking at the fuzzballs on his red sweater. He wants to give her time to think of what she wants to say. His eyes snap up to hers when she starts speaking again.

"I'm sorry for being more bitchy to you than I am to the average person. It's just that- It's just that you... ok, let me explain. So you know how Zoe and I put your twunk ass back together with different limbs and shit? The frat boys' limbs?" Kyle nods, even though he doesn’t know what a twunk is. "So- to me, you're this lumbering giant whose arms and legs are this constant reminder of... the shit that happened.” Kyle tilts his head at this. Not only because the last word he would use to describe himself is giant, Kyle felt small most of the time. But also because he doesn't really remember much of what happened before he was dead, and assumes she is referring to the other Kyle. The Kyle without scars that Zoe has a few pictures of. "Shit, you don't know what happened." Kyle shakes his head and goes to say something, but Madison speaks before he can. "All you need to know is that some people were doing bad things. To me. And they were your... friends. Or whatever."

Kyle could tell Madison was trying to stay casual, but he has a sinking feeling that what happened to her wasn't nothing. "B- bad thing- gs?" He asks.

Madison was stiffer and speaking softer than before. Kyle had only seen her act small once before, and it was when he was hurting her. His stomach filled with guilt, usually, he tries not to think about what he did too often. He didn't like that feeling. "Yeah, Kyle. Bad things." Madison says while looking out the window.

Something in Kyle recognizes her tone and posture. He can’t quite put a finger on what, though. "Hur- hurt you?" He asks. Kyle watches Madison shrink in her chair and decides to go back to picking at his sweater, and attempt not to pressure her to respond quickly. As he does, the familiarity of the situation continues to tug at him. She looks a bit like how he felt after what happened at the other Kyle’s house. Or how he felt when he thought about the lady there. Zoe says that lady is (or... was) his mother, but he doesn't believe her. He sees mothers on the TV every day, and that lady is not at all what a mother is. If anything, Ms. Cordelia was his mother. she was all grown up, and Kyle was only 19. Ms. Cordelia never yelled at him, always helped him when he got in big trouble, and gave him those gross leaves when his stomach hurt. Kyle thinks about who Madison's mother might be. He hopes that Madison can talk to her about the bad things that happened.

Looking back up at the unusually vulnerable girl across from him, who is hugging her knees and staring out the window, he feels about her the way he feels about who he used to be. He wants to hug her and protect her and tell her that it’s not her fault those people made her so sick, and that he is so sorry he hurt her, and that he knows she feels soft and stained- but that one day she will be allowed to be happy and messy and big at the same time.

"Yes." Her words snap him out of his own head and back into the situation at hand. Madison's neutral expression does not waver.

Kyle points at himself and decides to ask just one more question, the one ringing in the back of his mind. "My Frien- ds?"

Madison is quiet for a moment before responding. "They were your friends. But you- I really don’t think you knew they were bad, Kyle. The thing is that... when I see your tattoos... I start to think about what happened, and when you make sudden moves I jump a little. So it was, sometimes still is, hard for me to be around you. You're just- big. If that makes sense. Like they were. I'm sorry for giving you those parts of them... for making you carry their shit with you. At least some parts of their sorry asses were finally put to good use when they became a part of your whole labrador retriever thing you've got going on.” Kyle is clearly upset by the fact that he cared about such bad people, and that he couldn’t tell they were mean sooner. “Oh, stop giving me that guilty look like you had something to do with what happened to me. You tried to help me, shithead. Now calm down." Madison says.

"I help-p ed you?" A soft smile starts spreading across Kyle's face.

Madison raises her eyebrows at his reaction. "Calm down Kyle, stopping those guys was a bare minimum thing to do." Madison starts, (Kyle frowns), "But thank you. For 'protecting' me or whatever. Congratulations! I guess you were always meant to be our guard dog."

Despite her insults, Kyle once again feels a surge of affection rise inside of him towards her. This time, he stumbles over to Madison, leans down, and engulfs her in a hug. He was never good with boundaries. He couldn't use his words to express himself, so he leaned on using physical affection (or fighting people but that wasn't currently applicable) to show people how he felt. His eyes instantly widened and he quickly pulled away.

"Sor-ry!" He stepped away from her, hanging his head and mumbling like an embarrassed child. “S-udden Move-ment." Kyle brought his hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes before looking back at her to see if she looked upset.

Something inside of Madison grew sappy and soft. This idiot toddler-man had somehow comprehended the convoluted shit she was saying, and is trying to change his behavior according to it. She stands up and speaks, "It's fine Kyle. Really. Just, warn me next time. Or walk slower if talking is too hard."

Kyle decides to take the latter approach. "O-Ok." He said, then began to approach her very slowly. Like- very, very, very slowly.

Madison wishes there was someone else in the room she could look at to confirm that Kyle was, in fact, being insane. "Ok, I don't have all day. I'm going to need something faster than a snail's pace." She says.

Kyle stops and wrinkles his nose in disgust. “Snails. yuck!"

Madison’s expression turns into one of pure (amused) shock. "So the two words you do fully have down are 'snails. yuck.'? How- how does that even happen? Don't answer that, I don’t care. Hurry it up. Hug me now or never, Day of the Dead."

Kyle walked up to Madison and bear hugs her, she is significantly shorter than him, so she almost disappears into his sweater. Madison doesn’t hug him back at first, she instead lets her arms fall to her sides.

"F-riends now." He pats her on the head gently and intentionally. "Sa-safe now." He says in the softest voice he can muster (generally Kyle finds that he is stuck speaking at one volume, and that volume is loud).

Madison freezes at his last two words, then returns his hug for a moment. She thinks this might be the first time she’s ever hugged a boy who didn’t want to kiss her. It was nice. After a few moments, she clears her throat and steps back from him. "Thank you, Kyle." She says genuinely.

"Mhm!" He says, then just smiles at her, happy to have made a new friend. It was one more person on his list of people to protect and be protected by, and in his mind, there was nothing better than that. "L-et's te-ll Zoe w-e're frien-ds now." Kyle says, gesturing at Madison to follow him.

"What the fuck did I just get myself into," Madison mumbles, before following Kyle to the living room.

#;asjdf;asfjadfs #so is this any good??#ahs #ahs coven #ahs fic #ahs gen fic #zoe benson #madison montgomery #kyle spencer #evan peters #himbo.writes #himbo.speaks #this tis my first fic here #fave #tw s*xual assault #tw swearing #fic recs

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mkhaddan · 3 years

Text

Gabriel and the hybrid chapter 2

Gabriel and Angel made their way to the apartment building where her foster parents live and sure enough, all her belongings were packed outside and the door locked. There were only 3 suitcases and 2 bags. “I know it’s not a lot, but it’s everything I own, ever since I lost my mom anyway.” said Angel. Gabe noticed the sad look in her eyes as if she was about to cry, he looked around trying to find something to take her mind off the sad memory. He quickly noticed that one of Angel’s suitcases was smaller than the others and it had chains and a lock on it. “Excuse me Angel, but why is this one not like the others?” He asked hoping to change the subject, Angel answered him. “It’s medicine that my dad sends me. You see, I was born with a condition that no doctor or hospital is able to treat and if I don’t take it, the results are… not good.” “ and how did your father manage to get a hold of medicine that’s able to treat you?” he asked. “He makes it himself, he’s very good with chemistry from what I’ve been told.” “So he’s a chemist then?” “More like a doctor actually, he’s skilled in everything a doctor can do, he can make medicine, treat injuries, make prosthetic body parts, as well as help a pregnant woman give birth to her child. But he didn’t help my mom deliver me in case you’re wondering, he had to be somewhere else at the time. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what he can do.” “He sounds like an interesting man, have you ever met him?” “I have, but he’s a big jerk, when mom died, he wanted nothing to do with me, he actually said that to my face, so, he dropped me off at a foster home first chance he got. The only time I ever see him is when he brings me my medicine, after that, he’s gone.” Gabriel thought to himself, and then speaks. “Well at least he sends you medicine, so he must care about you.” Angel gave Gabe a serious look, “Trust me, love and caring about me is not why he sends me my medication.” “Then why does he Angel?” “I’d rather not talk about it, it’s personal.” Gabe gives her a small smile, “Understood.” Just then, a window in the apartment building opened up. “HEY!!!!, YOU GOT YOUR THINGS SO HIT THE ROAD!!!!” Said the woman from hours ago. Gabriel spoke up.” I’m sorry, we’ll be on our way now!” The man spoke up. “GOOD RIDDANCE!” he said before slamming the window shut. “Come on Angel,” Gabe said as he picked up 2 of her larger suitcases. “Let’s go.” Angel gives him a nod and pick up her 2 bags and the suitcase of her medicine. Then she and Gabriel were on their way.

****

Gabriel opened the door to the hotel room, then he and Angel made there way inside, he helped set down her things as she looked around the room. “Wow, I haven’t been anywhere this nice in a long time.” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “ Really?” He asked. “Yeah, I’ve only ever been to nice places like this back when I would vacation with my mother.” “She sounds like a nice woman.” “She was, … she was also the only person who ever loved me and in return, I loved back… but ever since she died, my life’s gone to Hell.” Gabe was taken aback by what he heard. “How old were you?” He asked with a sorrowful look in his eyes. “9… I was 9 at the time. you see, growing up, she spent most of her time and money on my well-being that she hardly ever looked after herself.” Angel starts to frown a little bit, “Then… one day… she got sick.” Angel begins to cry a little bit. “She didn’t have enough money to pay for treatment, and as a result… She… She…” Gabriel places his hand on her shoulder and gives her a warm smile. “Before she died she said something to me….” Angel pauses for a moment, remembering what her mother said before she passed away, “I don’t care what happens to me, as long as you’re alive and healthy, that’s all I want, my special girl.” Gabe’s smile weakens upon seeing Angel cry as she spoke what her mom said. “ *sniff* I can’t help but feel like I’m the reason she died.” At this point, she begins to sob and raise her voice a little bit, “ IT’S ALL MY FAULT! ISN’T IT?!? SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF IF I WAS NEVER BORN IN THE FIRST PLACE! IF I DIDN’T EXIST THEN SHE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE AND-“ Gabriel grabs Angel by the shoulders and lowers himself to meet her gaze. “Listen Angel, what happened to your mother is not your fault, she was doing what any mother would do, looking after her child, it is quite obvious that she loved you with all her heart and was willing to sacrifice everything for you.” Gabe brings himself closer to her, “But you should never say things that that, how you wish you weren’t born and that you’re mother would be better off if you never existed, do you understand?” Gabriel brings his hands up to her face, wiping the tears from her eyes, Angel’s eyes widen before she brings herself to hug Gabriel, catching him off guard, he smiles. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

****

2 months and 7 days had passed since Gabriel let Angel stay with him until his job was done, he managed to get 6 more mortals on the right path before returning to the hotel to take a break. As he walked in the room, he noticed there were a lot of text books on a table, and a small trash can filled with crumpled up pieces of paper inside, some of which were next to the trash can due to it being full from the paper. Angel was sitting in a chair with a pencil in her hand and a piece of paper under the other while looking at one of the text books. “What are you doing Angel?” asked Gabe. “Homework.” She replied “I don’t have a teacher to help me so I try to teach myself. But I’m not very good as you can well see.” Gabriel remembered what her foster parents told him, that she struggled with learning and how she only got Cs and Ds on her report cards. She explains to him how she used to be homeschooled by her mother and that the people at the foster homes and all her foster families didn’t have patience to help her, and because of her condition, school was out of the question. “I see.” Gabriel pulls up another chair and sits next to her. “What are you doing?” She asked. Gabriel answers her, “I want to help you.” He says, “If that’s alright with you.” Angel gives him a little smile and nods in approval. “Thanks, it’s been a while since someone helped me.” Gabriel returns her smile. “You’re welcome sweetie.” He says before they begin to work together.

****

Several months have passed and with Gabriel’s help, Angel was able to make straight As on all her report cards, a mass improvement of her previous work. Not only that, but he and Angel have gotten to know each other a little better in the time they stayed together. He was making his way back to the hotel to leave New York, for he had just finished with the last mortal on his list. It was a shame really, he had grown a bit attached to Angel, and would hate to have to leave her. As he made his way inside the hotel room, he noticed Angel was in a sort of panic. “no no nO NO NO NO, I CAN’T BE OUT! NOT NOW!” Gabriel closes the door behind him as to not disturb the other guests. As he made his way inside, he noticed that the window blinds were shut, making it completely dark in the room. He turned on a lamp, “Angel…. are you ok?” He makes his way to her to see that she has something in her hands, it was the suitcase with her medicine, it was opened, as well as empty. “I’M OUT OF MY MEDICINE!” She says in a panicked voice. “Oh, I see, well maybe we can contact your father and-“ Angel interrupts him “You don’t understand Gabriel, getting the medicine isn’t easy I-“ just then, Angel throws up what seems like a pool full of blood. Gabriel taken aback by this rushes to her side to help her, but as he puts his hand on her shoulder, Angel looks up at him, only this time, her eye weren’t the sapphire blue they usually were, her sclera was yellow, her iris was red and both her eyes looked like that of a serpent. Gabriel yelps and jumps back from her due to fright. She reaches out for him. “Wait I-“ Angel begins to groan with pain and then screams. To Gabriel’s horror, her skin turns purple and her feet transform into hooves, her teeth begin to sharpen to a point, she begins to grow horns on her head as well as a long demon tail, and her hands form into hooved claws. Her ears grow to a sharpened point, and her tongue turns into that of a snake. With Her transformation complete, she looks up at Gabe with a worried expression on her face.

Hope you all enjoyed chapter 2 of Gabriel and the hybrid. It was based off of @camodielsart’s au St. Michael’s son, which is based off of @brightgoat’s au Lil Lucifer. Get comfy, the story is not over yet!

#Gabriel and the hybrid #St. Michael’s son #brightgoat #camodielsart #lil lucifer au

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sanscestships · 4 years

Text

“Deal” DS!Crossberry-Guardian/Destroyer Headcanon (Oneshot, DS!CrossxDS!Blue)

Created on: 10/26/20

Requested by: No one. I got bored again and wanted to do a rare pair while making things more interesting while doing DreamSwap (by onebizarrekai btw you should go check them out. i know they have a tumblr for sure)

as for the "Guardian/Destroy Headcanon" part. There's a headcanon that Cross is the guardian of the AUs and Blue is the destroyer of AUs because their swapped with Ink and Error. While canonically this is not true, there's a headcanon and i decided to try it out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cross was ticked as hell. No, he was livid.

Once again, he went to Taco Bell, ate his tacos, Blue had drugged the tacos somehow, he fell asleep, he woke up, and several AUs were destroyed while he was passed out.

He didn't know HOW that annoying blue scarfed destroyer kept doing it, but he needed to find a way to stop it.

Obviously, he had absolutely no intention of stop ordering from Taco Bell. He and the rest of the Meme Squad loved the tacos from Taco Bell and would absolutely live off it along with chocolate. And not ALL of the tacos he got from there were drugged by Blue.

Unfortunately, this also made it difficult for him to know if he should eat a taco or not.

No, he couldn't get one of his friends to try it. He was NOT going to risk Error or Nightmare getting knocked out because he didn't want to eat a taco himself. No he wasn't going to ask a stranger to test taste for him either. No, again, he wasn't going to stop eating Taco Bell tacos.

Then he decided he was going to go to Blue's house in Outertale, kick the fucking door down, beat the shit out of that annoying flirt, and make him stop drugging his GOD DAMN TACOS HE JUST WANTS TO EAT IN PEACE!

With that plan in mind, he quickly made a portal to the small house they all shared. If he didn't come back, he at least wanted his friends to know where he was. Stepping into the wooden floor of their kitchen, he spotted Error drinking coffee again-WAIT HOLY SHIT ERROR WAS DRINKING COFFEE AGAINASGOHISGHASOGIRHAGAERIOG-

"Error!" And it was at the moment Error knew. He fucked up. "I thought Night and I said no more drinking coffee after 4:00 PM! It's fucking 9:37. Wait a sec- DID THAT INK DOUCHEBAG DO SOMETHING TO YOU? I SWEAR I'M GONNA-"

"NONONONONONONO!" The hooded cinnamon roll quickly put the mug down, stepping between me and the door with his arms flailing around. "It's fine it's fine! I just felt like drinking coffee I swear! Ink has nothing to do with it!"

Sighing in relief that the emo bastard hadn't touched the bean, he proceeded to pretend nothing important was going to happen. "I just came over to say that I'm going to Blue's to kick his ass. If I don't come back, it means I did not kick Blue's ass. Okay?"

"Do you want us to come with you?" Error had that look on his face again. The one that said "I'm not 100% sure this is a good idea but if we're going for it I'll absolutely give way more than 500%".

"Nah, I think I can handle Blue. Plus, you should probably keep Nightmare company. I'll be fine."

Cross was not fine.

Not fine at all.

He went to Outertale, expecting Blue to be out so he could ambush him in his room. That way, he'll have the absolute advantage over him. Kicking the door down, the monochrome guardian stepped in ticked as hell to be greeted with being grabbed with strings and being hung upside down.

"FUCK!"

"Well well well~"

Shit. Flirty tone. Strings. Being face to face with a glitchy eye and snarky face. Yep, it was Blue.

"GOD DAMMIT BLUE! PUT ME DOWN AND STOP DRUGGING MY FUCKING TACOS!" Stupidly, he started flailing in the strings trying to escape. However with each and every movement, he only entangled himself further.

"Oh? And why should I?" The cocky little bastard was definitely amused by this, just standing in front of Cross as he eventually got himself so wrapped up he couldn't move anymore.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO! NOW PUT ME DOWN!"

"Okay~"

"FU-" And like that, he was dropped head first onto the floor. Groaning, he quickly grabbed the huge knife strapped onto his back and got into a battle position. "Listen Blueberry, I'm sick and tired of having to deal with not being able to eat tacos without falling asleep. So quit it before things get messy."

Obviously, that got Blue to stop and think. Though he destroyed AUs, he didn't actually enjoy the blood and misery it brought. Cross could never understand why he destroyed AUs anyway though. Was he hired to do it? Obviously not by that best friend stealer who thinks he has the right to look at one little crime someone made and say "okay you go die now". The knife wielding skeleton knew the string user well. Everything he did had a means to an end.

That didn't mean it was always an actually good reason though.

"How about a deal," Well shit, another negotiation. Cross wondered what it was going to be this time. Another theft from JR? Maybe another prank on Ink? He really didn't know with the destroyer. As much as he knew about him, he could also be unpredictable at times. "In exchange for no more taco druggings, you have to be my new guinea pig."

...

Wait wha-

"Wait, guinea pig? FOR WHAT?!" Cross did NOT like the sound of being someone's toy to play with. Especially not after what happened to his AU. He'd been a pawn in XFrickster's plan to be the "best story". And he did NOT LIKE THE SOUND OF BEING ANYWHERE NEAR THAT AGAIN.

"Calm down, I'm not going to do any weird mad scientist stuff." The glitchy eyed skeleton folded his arms, shaking his head like he was dealing with an idiotic 5 year old. In a way, he was. Cross wasn't going to deny that he could make some very questionable decisions at times. "I meant I want you to be a taste tester for me. I cook as a hobby but sometimes I'll throw random stuff in a dish to see what it tastes like. I'm merely using you as both a taste tester and a second opinion."

Oh, that was totally reassuring.

Him throwing random crap in food he has to agree to try is absolutely reassuring. But, it was this or not be able to eat tacos without being paranoid and boy would that be hell.

He knew his answer. And he did NOT LIKE that it was between this and either no tacos or AU destruction.

"Fine, but you better not poison me or feed me crap Blueberry."

#oneshot #dreamswap #ds!cross #ds!blue #crossberry #ds!crossberry #cross x blue #ship #undertale #undertale au #headcanon

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bnhabadass · 5 years

Note

"A kiss during Spin the Bottle that means more than it should." OKAY ALSO THIS ONE WITH BAKUGOU (!!!!) FITS SUPER WELL

This one was particularly fun to write.

Pairing: Bakugo x readerWarnings: Cursing

“Let’s play spin the bottle!” Mina yelled. Of course it was Mina who would want to play such a raunchy game. And you weren’t surprised when Hagakure squealed in delight at the thought.

“Pass,” you mumbled, not looking up from your DS. You were never a big fan of those kind of games.

“Come on, (Y/n),” Mina said, grabbing your arm. “What if you-know-who is playing?”

You paused your game and looked up at your best friend, smiling and quirking your head to the side as if to say “really?”

She laughed and closed your DS when you weren’t looking.

“Hey!” you screamed. “I was playing that.”

“Now is not the time for video games!” She slung you over her shoulder and trotted over to where some of the boys as well as Uraraka and Tsu were sitting. Hagakure followed close behind.”Hiya boys,” Mina said. “We had a fun idea for a game we could all play.”

You popped your head up at the word we. “I had no part in this,” you said. “This was all mnaphsidesa.”

Mina clamped her pink hand over your mouth, shushing you up. “We were hoping we could all play a fun game of spin the bottle!”

Kaminari practically fell out of his seat. “Hell yeah!” he said, popping back up.

“I’m game.”

“Sounds fun,” Midoriya said.

The blush on Uraraka’s cheeks didn’t go unnoticed by you, but it certainly did by him. “Yeah!” she said. “Let’s do it!”

“Let me see if Bakugo wants to join.” Kirishima pulled out his phone and shot him a quick text, to which Bakugo responded immediately. “He said ‘fuck you shitty hair. I’m going back to sleep’. Cool I’ll wake him up then.” Kirishima ran upstairs to Bakugo’s dorm.

Your face was hidden in Mina’s neck and she stroked your hair. You very well couldn’t play a dumb party game, let alone spin the bottle, with BAKUGO of all people. That would be a complete disaster. You’ve liked the boy for a while now but it was common knowledge at this point that Bakugo hates everyone. Except maybe Kirishima. Your biggest fear was that you would spin the bottle and it would land on him. How would he react? Would he pull away in disgust or would he actually be… into it? You didn’t want to know.

Kirishima came back down stairs with a sleepy looking Bakugo following him reluctantly. “Alright guys,” Kiri said. “Let’s play!”

There weren’t too many of you playing. Ten, maybe eleven of you were sitting in a circle. An empty glass Coke bottle was in the center.

“(Y/n),” Mina said. “Would you like to spin first?”

“I think you know the answer by now.” You looked up at her with a half lidded expression, wishing it were later so you could say you were too tired and go to bed.

“Ugh you’re no fun.”

“I’ll go!” You could see the sleeve of Hagakure’s shirt lift up, signifying that she was very eager to spin.

The knot in your stomach tightened. It was one thing to theorize playing spin the bottle with the guy you were crazy about, but actually doing it was completely different. You didn’t pay attention to who landed on who. You just focused on the burning feeling in your stomach all while thinking you were gonna be sick.

“(Y/n)!” Mina practically screamed in your ear.

“Huh?” You looked up at her, embarrassed at being caught in your thoughts.

“It’s your turn.”

“But no one’s landed on me yet.”

She laughed. “We’re going in a circle, silly. That way it’s fair for everyone!”

Oh. So that’s how she was playing. Mina shipped you and Bakugo like crazy. Whenever the three of you were in a room together, which happens surprisingly often, she’d make up a lame excuse to leave. The excuses that came up the most are “whoops I left clothes in the dryer” and “Uh oh I think I left the stove on.” One time she even said “Oh look at the time. I’ve gotta pick my dog up from the vet!” Not only does she not have a dog, but she wasn’t even looking at the time, just at her bare wrist.

“Come on, (Y/n) you can do this!” Toru cheered from the circle.

You let out a long sigh, knowing that there was no way out of this one. You spin the bottle, refusing to look at it; instead, counting the seconds that went by.

Mina squealed at seeing who it landed on. You looked down at the bottle, and then up at Bakugo who looked like he was about to faint. His face was drained of all color after seeing the bottle pointing directly at him.

“I, uhh–” You felt light headed.

“Come on you guys,” Mina said. “Smooch it out.”

Kirishima punched Bakugo in the arm before gesturing to you. You wish you hadn’t let your little crush slip. It’s all Kiri ever talks about now is how he wishes you could just talk to Bakugo, but now there wouldn’t even be any talking because you’d have your mouth up against his.

You slowly adjusted yourself. “Are you, um, okay with this?”

Bakugo refused to make eye contact. “Whatever,” he said. He scooted himself closer to you and you did the same.

This is it. It’s happening right now.

You leaned in and caught his lips with your own. It was kind of rough at first. Not that either of you were being rough on each other, but it was…wonky going in. When your lips finally made contact, the both of you visibly softened. You even dared to part your lips slightly, which Bakugo took full advantage of, allowing himself to briefly dip his tongue into your mouth.

When you two parted, you finally acknowledged the chorus of oohs, ahs, and “YES GIRL GET SOME!” from your friends.

“Shut up, extras,” Bakugo yelled. You giggled a little, but blushed when he shot you a warning look.

The rest of the game was a blur to you. Bakugo bowed out shortly after your kiss, which sucked because you really wanted to talk to him afterwards. It wasn’t too much longer after he left that you decided to go to bed yourself.

“Sweet dreams, babe!” Mina said. “And don’t just stay up playing video games!”

You chuckled before walking to your room. Well, you were on your way to your room at least when you felt a strong hand grab you by the back of your shirt and yank you towards them. You wanted to scream but they placed a delicate yet firm hand over your mouth.

They turned on the lights and released their grip. You were relieved when you saw it was just Bakugo. “Oh thank god!” you said. “I thought you were about to kill me and turn me into a skin suit.”

“What? No!” He looked confused yet aggravated. “I just, ugh! What was that kiss about?”

Oh. So he was going to make things complicated. “Um. I mean I spun the bottle and it landed on you. I think that’s just how the game works.”

“GAH! Don’t be an idiot, (L/n). Kirishima just sent me a video he took of us. Normal spin the bottle kisses don’t last fourteen seconds long!”

Did it really last that long? You felt your cheeks grow hot as Bakugo held up his phone to show you the video. Mina probably shit her pants at watching that.

“Oh.” That’s all you managed to say.

“Oh? Fucking oh!?” You had never experienced Bakugo’s...wrath for yourself. You’ve seen him yell at Midoriya and the others plenty of times, but he never seemed interested enough in you to warrant yelling.

Well that confirms it. He doesn’t share your feelings. You guess it was better to find out this way rather than have him turn you down in a harsh manner. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Bakugo.”

That’s when he leaned in and kissed you again, this time with more force. He gripped the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair. It was a desperate kiss but a good one at that. When he pulled away, he had an angry look in his eyes. “Did either of those mean anything to you?”

“Of course they fucking mean something to me, Bakugo!” you practically yelled. Why was he making this so complicated! You could barely think! “I have fucking feelings for you which you clearly don’t seem to reciprocate. So why are you so fucking angry?”

“You think I don’t have feelings for you?” The look on his face turned into a piss off one. “Why the fuck do you think I dragged you in here in the first place? Why the fuck do you think I just kissed you again?” He was clearly growing impatient. “Why the fuck do you think I risked sitting down to play that shitty game of spin the bottle?”

You were speechless. So he did like you. He really fucking liked you.

“I didn’t mean to yell.” His voice had calmed down, and he was now backing you into the semi closed door. Once your back hit it, it clicked with a shut. Bakugo put his arm up against the door and above your head. There was no way of getting out of this one. “But if you think I don’t share your feelings, then you’re a fucking idiot.”

You leaned up and kissed him hard, pulling at his lower lip with your teeth. He smirked a devil’s smile at seeing the vixen look in your eyes. That’s when he picked you up and flung you onto his bed.

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #katsuki bakugou #mha bakugou #bakugo x reader

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choicesenthusiast · 4 years

Text

Distant Shores, Ch. 11 AKA Rabble-Rousing

What happened this week:

The whole crew survives the wreck and swims to shore. Somehow I thought that these ships were miles at sea for some reason. The idea that they didn’t even have to struggle to shore shocked me.

Give a rousing pep talk to the dejected, angry pirates who’ve just had their ship blown up. Somehow, even if you wave your sword (where did we get that btw?) in their faces, they don’t unleash the pirate and go all pirate-y on you.

You tell them the truth about the future and all that, using your still working phone as proof. How did that thing survive, like, 3 storms, being captured, trekking through the jungle, and more strenuous activities like that? More importantly, how the hell does it still have battery? There must be a nuclear power reactor in that thing.

Luckily, you’ve landed on the back end of wherever we found the circus siblings and can stop to find a new ship. As expected, we’re considering teaming up with Robert and his gang of gangly gangplanking gangies.Go with Charlie to find out where Robert is hiding himself. She opens up

about her dick father, and how Robert was kind of a stand-in for whatever a “good father” is supposed to be. Man, PB loves their dick parents.

You find the mutineers in the inn and engage in a standoff a la that The Office meme, guns drawn and all that.

The only way to win the mutineers over is to beat Robert at a game of whist, a classic 17th/18th century card game. I actually know this one for once! At least it isn’t blackjack or hold ‘em again. That or Robert changes his mind in the morning and takes you onto his ship, the Damnation.

Thoughts:

Damnation is a pretty sick name for a ship. And it looks sick too.

I really want to know what kind of phone MC has. Yes, I’m still hung up on this. An iPhone would’ve shattered the first day on the ship. An Android probably would’ve exploded by now. Maybe we came from a society where Nokia developed superphones.

A whole chapter centered primarily around the female LI. We love to see it.

Sometimes I forget that I name things or fill out blanks in this app, then it comes back to give me whiplash. Hearing the parrot say “Big boobs? Um chile…” nearly killed me.

Sorry this one’s so late. I didn’t really feel motivated to do it this weekend. DS has been kinda mediocre but I actually really enjoyed this chapter.

#this week on choices #playchoices #choices stories you play #distant shores

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onthevirgeofdestruction · 4 years

Link

Dreaming While I Wake

Sanders Sides Foster Care AU - Roman-centric Angst & Hurt/Comfort & Abuse Recovery

Roman tries to be upbeat and hopeful despite all the shit that’s happened to him. And a lot of shit has. Luckily, his new foster home is with two literal rays of sunshine (and a sarcastic asshole).

Words: 3,349 Warnings: Doctor, Examination, Bruises, Injury, Police Brutality Mention, Blood, Food Characters: Roman, Thomas, Virgil Universe: Dreaming While I Wake Genre: Angst/Family

Chapter 17

chapter 1 for new readers - ffn mirror

Roman sat nervously kicking his feet in the doctor’s office. He didn’t like the doctor’s office. The smell of all the antiseptic always set him off. The crinkly paper on the exam table felt wrong. Tongue depressors made him feel sick. It brought up too many bad memories he had to fight to not fall into. Parents always resented having to take him if they ever even bothered so it felt like he was in trouble. They just rubbed him the wrong way, and he hated being here. The door opened and Roman looked up to see the doctor walk in.

“So what brings you in today?”

“Roman’s got a bad bruise over his ribs and we’d like it recorded and x-rayed,” Thomas motioned to Roman on the table. Roman waved nervously to the doctor with the tips of his fingers. He just wanted to get this over with and leave more than anything.

“Can you show me the bruise?” The doctor asked. Roman swallowed and nodded, pulling up his shirt. The purple really came bursting out today. It was purple and green and just generally sickly looking, blossoming slightly from the original green blot. You could just barely make out the line from the rubber sole, just like Roman thought he would. They could probably see it better tomorrow.

“That is a nasty one. What’s it from?” The Doctor asked, examining the mark closely.

“Steel-toed boot,” Roman supplied. The doctor looked shocked for a moment and his face hardened.

“Could you leave the room for a moment, Mr. Sanders?” The doctor asked firmly and Thomas nodded, getting out of the chair and stepping out into the hall. Roman looked desperately to Thomas as he left. He didn’t want to be left alone in here. Thomas gave him a small reassuring smile. He didn’t want a smile, he wanted Thomas back in here.

“Are you safe at home?” The doctor asked.

“Um, yeah, I think a cop did this,” Roman mumbled. “Can he come back in? Please?” Roman asked desperately, pointing at the door.

“Oh, that’s very serious,” The doctor muttered and walked over to the door and opened it. “You can come back in, Mr. Sanders. All right, let me examine it and then we’ll send you down the hall for x-rays and photos if it’s necessary,” The doctor put his stethoscope on Roman’s back. “Breathe in,” Roman complied and winced. “And out,” Roman’s breath shuddered. They did it a second time with equally painful results. “Will you lie back on the table and hold your shirt up?” The Doctor asked. Roman nodded and leaned back to let the doctor prod at it. It was possibly more sore after deep breathing than it was before. “Does this hurt?”

“Yes,” Roman hissed through his teeth. The doctor hummed in concern.

“I need you to take another deep breath,” The doctor requested.

“Do I really have to?” Roman moaned. It hurt like a bitch and this was the last place he wanted to be in pain.

“I’m afraid so,” The doctor nodded. “Breathe in. Hold it. Alright, let it out slowly,” Roman hissed again as he let out the air, flinching. “Yes, I think x-rays will be necessary. Take a left when you exit and wait in the lobby on the right labeled Radiology and they’ll call you in. I’ll let the techs know they need to take regular photos when they’re done. It would be smart to take some photos yourself and document it for the next few days as well,” The doctor said. “I should be clear that I’m not willing to testify for the patient’s sake, I don’t have that kind of time. If you are planning on suing, you should get a doctor recommendation from a lawyer. I’m willing to document today’s evidence, though. Avoid anything that involves bending, lifting, twisting, or strenuous activity. Some ibuprofen for the pain if necessary is alright in the short term, but do not do it on too many continuous days,” The doctor explained before heading out the door.

Roman slowly got up, really really mindful of his aching and painfully pulsing side. He had no idea what all that awful poking was about if he was going to just recommend x-rays after 3 minutes. He could have spared Roman the pain and sent him right to radiology, damnit.

“We’re not suing, right?” Roman asked nervously, looking at Thomas with trepidation.

“No, we’re just filing a complaint,” Thomas said, offering his arm to help Roman down. Roman took it cautiously and slid off the exam table. Roman just stared at Thomas in confusion.

“Let’s get to the x-ray waiting room,” Thomas said, making sure Roman was stable before heading out of the exam room.

The x-rays were also awful, with all kinds of deep breaths and holding them while holding his arms upon a bar. School would probably be better than this. Though they were also getting a note for him to sit out of gym and his missed days while they were here. And Roman was thankful for being allowed to sit out of gym. If he had to do push-ups or sit-ups he might actually cry from pain, and that would be incredibly embarrassing and he’d definitely get made fun of. Roman sort of spaced out in the car after they left. There was a really sharp pain now instead of the dull continuous pain from all the deep breathing. He hoped that would go down if he tried not to breathe too deeply.

Roman mindlessly followed Thomas when they got out of the car, still kind of spacing out. He slid his hands in his pockets and shifted slightly when Thomas stopped and squatted down. The bottom of his right foot hurt much worse than the left and felt kind of hot, and he was trying to not put too much weight on it. Wait, why was Thomas squatting down? Roman looked at what Thomas was examining. It was a game case. When the hell did they get to a game store?

“There’s apparently 5 of those games, Roman. We can grab two while we’re here. Excuse me, Miss? We’d like to buy some DS games,” Roman stood up and waved to the lady behind the register. She stopped leaning against the counter and came over to unlock the case.

“Which ones, sir?” She asked in a very dispassionate retail-is-killing-me tone. Roman felt for her.

“The first two Rune Factory games,” Thomas supplied. “You’ve got plenty of free time today to start playing,” Thomas said brightly and followed the lady over to the counter to pay. Roman was in a lot of pain and a shell-shocked. He didn’t know what to do about this. Roman glanced down to the case. At least they were kind of cheap. Roman’s allowance could cover them. The others cost more, but he could buy them with his allowance one at a time if he really wanted them. He really just wanted something chill to focus on so he wouldn’t have to listen to his brain all >night, just part of it. At least his allowance covered it. Roman followed to the counter and watched Thomas finish checking out.

“Thank you,” Roman said gratefully as Thomas handed off the bag with a smile.

“Anytime. We still have to swing by a pharmacy for some topical painkiller for your bruise and then we’ll head home. We can pick up a few other things while we’re there,” Thomas headed back out to the car and Roman followed close behind.

The pharmacy was only a few minutes away and Roman returned to following closely behind Thomas while he was shopping. They went to the food aisles after grabbing some topical painkiller that smelled terrible. He picked a Gatorade after Thomas badgered him to grab a drink. Thomas grabbed a few bags of chips, some chocolates, and a box of cookies.

“Do you need any school supplies while we’re here?” Thomas asked as they passed the office supply aisle.

“I need a blue folder and a green folder,” Roman said, turning in to the aisle.

“What is the school’s obsession with colored folders?” Thomas asked rhetorically and rolled his eyes. “Do you need any pencils or notebooks?”

“Not really,” Roman mumbled as he grabbed the two folder colors he needed. Thomas grabbed two composition notebooks and a pack of pencils, anyway.

“Just in case,” Thomas smiled. “What’s a kneaded eraser? It’s very squishy,” Thomas eyeballed a package.

“It’s an eraser you can shape and knead. The more you knead it, it gets cleaner, too. It’s for fine erasing and charcoal,” Roman supplied.

“Oh, that’s cool. Do you have one?” Thomas asked, picking up the package.

“No,” Roman replied, examining a neat journal that went through the spectrum of the rainbow depending on the angle you held it to the light.

“That’s a nice journal. Do you want to get it?” Thomas asked. Roman looked between Thomas and the journal, then tried to check the shelf. Thomas’s hand shot out and covered the tag with the basket. “No, no. Money non-withstanding. If you like it, put it in the basket. If you don’t like it and it was just shiny, put it back,” Roman started to put it back, but he had a feeling Thomas already saw right through him and sighed, sliding it in the basket beside the chips. “Thanks. That’s everything, let’s check out and head home,” Thomas smiled brightly. Roman rolled his eyes and slid his hands into his pockets as he followed Thomas to the register.

Roman continued to space out on the ride home. He kept breathing shallowly to get the pain to go back down to dull instead of stabby, and it was making Roman kind of sleepy. Thomas let Roman carry in the bag of chips, but took the other two bags of items himself as they headed inside. Thomas took them right into the kitchen and started unloading them right away. Roman went to go put the chips in the pantry. Thomas handed Roman his Gatorade and cracked open his own lemonade.

“Just for my own peace of mind, would you be willing to read or play your new game on the couch in my office?” Thomas asked, wadding up the plastic bags and putting them in a storage container on the inside of the pantry door.

“I’m fine, Thomas,” Roman rolled his eyes.

“How are your arms?” Thomas asked, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrow.

“Still itchy as hell,” Roman provided and Thomas raised his eyebrow. “Okay,” Roman huffed. “But can we bring in a bowl of those peanut butter pretzels?” Roman conceded and motioned to the pantry.

“A very agreeable compromise,” Thomas chuckled and pulled a bowl from the cabinet.

Roman went to go drop off the bag of school supplies in his room and grab some things. He wanted the throw for warmth. The ice packs for his bruise made him so cold. Roman’s feet really hurt, and he sat on the bed to take off his shoes. His eyes caught on his dark red sock. Oh. That’s why the right side hurt so much. Roman must have reopened a cut. He took off his other shoe and sock and examined the bottom. The bandages on the left foot were still intact and dry, though a little loose, probably from his shower. The other sock was sticking to his foot, and he tried to peel it off carefully without opening the wound worse. The bandage ripped off in the sock and Roman checked his foot. It wasn’t actively bleeding but also wasn’t exactly healed or even closed.

“Roman? What’s taking so long?” Thomas called.

“Nothing,” Roman called back, trying to figure out how to solve this without hurting his spine more.

“I’ll decide that, if that’s okay,” Thomas said, walking in the open bedroom door. “Oh. Geez. Let me grab the first aid kit. I guess we pushed it too much this afternoon. We’ll have to be more careful the next few days,” Thomas said, sounding concerned.

“No, it’s fine,” Roman tried to start and held up his hand to try to dissuade him.

“Let’s not get blood on the floor if we can help it,” Thomas said, turning back out of the bedroom. Roman didn’t think about that. Thomas came back in with the kit and Roman reached out for it. “I’ve got it,” Thomas said, waving Roman off and sitting on the floor. He cleaned off the blood patch and re-bandaged everything on both feet. Roman felt awkward and wrung his comforter idly as he waited. “Hold on, I’ll get you some new socks to help protect them. Which drawer?”

“Bottom of the dresser,” Roman pointed. Thomas pulled open the drawer and frowned, pulling out a pair of socks and scooted back over to slide them on.

“Where are all your socks?” Thomas furrowed his eyebrows.

“I haven’t done laundry yet,” Roman shrugged. Thomas eyed the bloody sock on the bed.

“Oh, hm, well, we can throw those out and get you some more socks,” Thomas offered.

“No need, I just need to soak it in hydrogen peroxide and ice water,” Roman said, getting up carefully and tossing them in the laundry basket. Thomas hummed in disapproval but didn’t say anything. Roman grabbed his things for the couch and headed downstairs with Thomas, who took Roman’s load with one arm and held out his forearm for Roman to hold. He didn’t think all this was necessary, but it hurt going upstairs and the help wouldn’t be uncalled for. He took Thomas’s arm to descend carefully.

Roman settled down on the couch in Thomas’s office and Thomas passed over his DS with an appreciative smile. Roman took it carefully and nodded to him. At least Thomas was thankful Roman was willing to humor him. The DS was actually one of the newer ones, so it had the bigger screens and an extra joystick. Roman had brought down his old wired pair of headphones to plug into it along with the bluetooth pair in case he got sick of the game music. He reached out for a pretzel bite and loaded up the game.

The start was slow, almost unbearably so, but Roman was determined to get to the monster murder part and stuck it out. Plus, the music was nice, and the characters were interesting. It really was relaxing to play, even if Roman was feeling impatient. Roman wrapped up in his throw from his bed and leaned against the arm of the couch with his feet up. When he looked up, he could see Thomas’s really focused face as he typed away at his computer. Thomas didn’t seem to acknowledge Roman staring at him, so either he didn’t care or didn’t notice. Roman went back to clearing out the farm.

“Welcome back, Virgil,” Thomas called from his desk and Roman looked up from the game to see a very sarcastic smile in the doorway, flipping him off. Virgil was in a good mood, he guessed.

‘Thomas got more chips,’ Roman signed after he put down the DS in his lap. Virgil looked excited and left the doorway immediately.

“What did you say to him?” Thomas asked curiously as Roman picked back up the DS.

“I told him about the chips,” Roman said passively, pulling out his sword and taking down some orcs.

“I worry about that kid’s sodium intake,” Thomas said with a concerned look, then turned back to his computer and went back to work. Lita joined Roman up on the couch at one point while Roman was playing. Eventually, the screen made his eyes hurt a, and he closed it up. He laid back on the couch and watched some ASL lessons on YouTube on his phone instead. He needed to learn a bit more vocabulary. And food signs. He put his phone upon his legs and signed along as guided.

Roman got through 3 videos before yawning defeated him from learning and he gave up to just watch YouTube in general, sinking further into the loveseat. There was an annoying guy who sucked at craft projects and cussed like a sailor that he couldn’t seem to stop watching. He chuckled through his nose as the guy covered his hand in fake blood from some fake injury involving sharp objects. He also watched a guy and his goth girlfriend with a killer eyeliner game try Instagram foods and take a blowtorch to donuts. Other than the ones that set on fire, they looked good. He was actually getting kind of hungry. He reached out and fruitlessly checked the bowl for any more pretzel bites. Darn. Roman glanced at the time on the wall clock, wondering if he should snack or not.

“How do you feel about take-out tonight? I’m kind of on a roll here,” Thomas asked, continuing to type. That was pretty impressive for a guy who didn’t look like he was paying any attention at all. Could he see Roman while he was working? Was he secretly psychic? He did somehow know when Roman scratched his bandages from another room yesterday.

“Um, whatever’s fine,” Roman mumbled.

“Will you find out what Virgil wants?” Thomas asked, continuing to type.

“Uh, sure,” Roman opened the texting app and messaged Virgil. “Indian or Thai,” Roman told Thomas as soon as Virgil responded.

“I should have guessed. Let’s get Thai,” Thomas said, pulling out his phone. He sent menu links to Roman, Virgil, and Patton in a group chat. Virgil replied with Tom Yum Kung pretty quickly. Roman hadn’t eaten Thai much, so he just picked Pad Thai, since it’s one he’d tried before and liked it. Thomas asked Patton to make the order and pick it up in the chat and went back to work quickly. Roman returned to watching things on YouTube. After a few videos, he realized he probably should catch up on his homework. He’d been wasting too much time today with that giant pile upstairs. Roman folded up his throw and got up.

“Hey, where are you going?” Thomas said, without moving his head or stopping. Okay, so Thomas could see him. Was this another dad powers thing or did he have amazing peripheral vision? It was weird.

“Homework,” Roman said as he picked up all his things.

“No, you need a break today,” Thomas said, shaking his head.

“I took a break yesterday,” Roman furrowed his eyebrows. “I have stuff to do,”

“You are recovering,” Thomas said firmly.

“I’m already behind on my homework,” Roman objected.

“You were behind when you got here. Patton or I am happy to help you catch up tomorrow,” Thomas offered with a sly smile.

“I’m sorry, you’re seriously telling me not to do my homework?” Roman asked incredulously.

“That’s exactly right,” Thomas nodded, looking bemused.

“Score. Then I’m getting the laptop to play Minecraft,” Roman smiled and motioned to the living room.

“That’s fine. Please walk carefully,” Thomas requested. Roman came back into Thomas’s office with the laptop and sat cross-legged with the blanket folded up in his lap to hold the laptop. He connected his headphones and loaded back up the mansion behind the waterfall creative mode he was playing the other day.

Virgil knocked on the door and Roman and Thomas looked up. Virgil pointed to Roman and Thomas looked back to his monitor.

‘What are you doing in here?’ Virgil signed to him, looking around.

‘Minecraft,’ Roman fingerspelled.

‘That’s Minecraft’ Virgil showed him the correct sign, which was just a digging motion on the palm for mine, then fingerspelling craft, which was odd. ‘But I meant in his office,’

‘Thanks. Thomas is concerned for me or whatever,’ Roman shrugged and motioned with his head to Thomas.

‘Lame,’ Virgil signed and stuck out his tongue.

‘I know,’ Roman rolled his eyes. Virgil walked away again and Roman returned to his craft.

Personal Taglist: @bunny222 @elizabutgayer @prinxietyforever @kanene-yaaay-o-retorno @the-sympathetic-villain @croftersjam15 @ollyollyoxinfree

the taglist repository:

High school: @dragonwithproblems @starlight-era @averykedavra @potatsanderssides

Roman Angst: @k1ngtok1

Hurt Comfort: @callboxkat @nonasficcollection @supernovainthenightsky @evoodo123

Roman-Centric: @smileyzs @robinwritesshitposts @thatgaydemigodnerd

Fostering AU: @i-am-not-a-dinner-roll

literally everything sanders sides: @katelynn-a-fan @dwbh888 @grouptalekindnesssoul @the-hoely-bleach @anvil527up @fanficloverinthesun @brain-deadx0 @the-grounded-raven @ananonsplace

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