#axe cooking is my favorite thing

[caycanteven]

I needed some more nightmare gang in my life (and I will add the others later just got eepy)

Lex’s face never fucking stays the same and it’s frustrating

#my art #sans #sans au #undertale au #caycantdoodle #horror sans #axe #Lex x Axe #lex x nightmare #goofy shenanigans #Lex over here getting a lecture #nightmares had enough of her shit #loves to push his buttons #axe cooking is my favorite thing #kiss the cook absolutely #loves to cook for her #likes to show off too #adorable these guys #killer and dust are next dw #can’t ever leave them out

[mrsbarnesblog]

firewood

masterlist ko-fi ao3

Lumberjack! Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: When you decide to chop wood in your backyard, your hot neighbor, who happens to be a lumberjack, offers you some help.

Word count: 4.8K

Warnings: +18❗️smut, hot neighbor bucky is a fucking warning, kinda size kink, rough sex, protected sex, dirty talk, pet names

Author's note: this is one of my favorite works, so I hope everyone who hasn't read it before will like it too (it's hard to not fall for lumberjack Bucky, tbh🤷‍♀️)

“Hey, do you need help?” You stopped what you were doing. You breathed heavily, your arms ached, and you were already sweating. The man, your neighbor, whom you already saw a few times when you arrived home, was standing before you with his hands in his jeans pockets. 

He was attractive. Really handsome. Probably 6 feet tall, with broad shoulders and visibly a lot of muscles under the clothes. Yeah, that red henley left nothing for your imagination. His dark hair was put in a low bun, and he had a little stubble on his face. But you mostly noticed his bright blue eyes, which looked straight at you very attentively.

“Sorry, what?” You said as you wiped sweat from your forehead with the sleeve of your shirt. 

“I asked if you needed help. Sorry, but it seems like you have some troubles.” He smiled at you almost shyly, and you couldn’t even make yourself mad at his words. 

“Um, It’s my first time doing it.” You awkwardly smiled back, finally putting a big ax to the ground. “But I need wood for my fireplace, so I have to work with what I have.”

“I see… but don’t you have a boyfriend or a husband? I mean, it’s not really easy to do for a woman, and you seem pretty... petite for this?” It almost sounded like a question. “I wanted to say that I can help you if you allow me, because that thing might be really dangerous if you don’t know how to work with it, and I'm a lumberjack, so... it’s not a problem for me.” He awkwardly started to rub his neck. “I’m Bucky, by the way.”

“For a woman?” You playfully arched an eyebrow. “So you think that only men can do this?” You saw how his eyes widened, and you tried to hold your laughter.

“No, no! That’s not what I meant!” He lifted both hands in the air. “It’s just gonna take you forever to do, and as I said before, It’s not the safest work. And since this is my job, I could’ve helped you. As a neighbor, you know?” 

“Relax, I’m just joking.” You softly smiled at him. “Nice to finally meet you. I’m Y/N.” You reached out your hand. Bucky’s face relaxed, but then his lips curled into a mischievous smile.

“I like you.” He said, as he shook your hand. His grip was tight, and you felt that he really did a lot of physical work with his hands.

“Oh… thanks?” 

“Soo, do you need help?” He asked again.

“Um, honestly, I don’t know. I can’t just let you work for me for free. Can I pay you?”

“Doll, I have enough money, and I don’t need yours. I don’t think that you need tons of firewood, so it would be easy work for me.”

“Okay, but maybe I can give you food? Pastry? I really love to cook, and everyone said that I’m good at it.” You nervously played with your sleeve while Bucky was staring directly at you.

“Deal. I would honestly die for homemade food, ‘cause last time I ate it was at my ma’s and I really miss it. But you don’t have to do this, okay?”

“And you don’t have to help me.” You shot back.

Bucky’s smile grew wider, and he started shaking his head. “You have some temper, doll... Friday is okay?” 

“Yeah, totally, any time you’re free.” 

“Deal. I should probably go, and you better start training to cook food for me. I am really picky, and you insisted on paying me with it.” He said and started to walk back.

“Oh, shut up.” You laughed. “I know what I’m doing; don’t underestimate me!” 

“Fine. See ya, doll.” Bucky waved at you with the biggest smile on his face and finally walked away.

Well, it’s gonna be interesting. 

For the next almost two months, Bucky had been “working” for you, and you paid him with your food every single time because you couldn’t leave that man starving after he just got home from work and then willingly helped you. 

You two got closer. Bucky was a really good man; you found out it while you were sitting in your backyard looking at how his muscles were moving with every swing of the ax. He was right that it wasn't a big deal for him—the job that you would’ve been doing for several hours he did in twenty or thirty minutes. 

The conversation with Bucky was easy, he was a pretty reserved person, but he still told you everything about his job and his friends and asked you things about your life. It was hard not to fall for him. Especially when he gave you this boyish smile every time it was time to say goodbye or when you brought him your homemade food. 

Usually he comes to your house every Friday after work around 6 p.m., but today it was already 8 and he still didn’t show up. There was no light in his windows either, so you became really worried that something serious had happened. 

You were nervously sitting on the bar stool in your kitchen while your dinner was getting cold on the stove. You really had no appetite. What if he got injured from his dangerous work? Or maybe you were just overreacting and he went on a date with someone? You really had no reason to be worried that much because Bucky probably didn’t even think of you as a close friend, and you were just a too dramatic person with attachment issues. 

The light knock on the door scared you a little bit, but you still jumped out of your seat to open it. 

Bucky was standing there, visually perfectly fine and without any injuries, and you sighed with relief. 

“Bucky, oh my god, hi. Are you okay? I was really worried about you, and I don’t even have your phone number to text or call.” You mumbled as your eyes studied his face. 

“Hey, doll.” Bucky softly smiled at you, but it was obvious that he wasn’t really in the mood. “I’m fine. Just a shitty day at work. My boss went fucking crazy over nothing, and it was just a mess.” He ran a hand through his long hair. “But I have to do your firewood, so I'll go change and be back in a few minutes, ‘kay?”

He started to go back, but you caught him by his wrist. “No, Buck, wait. You don’t have to do it right now, really. I have enough wood, and you’re really exhausted. Come in; I have fresh lasagna and chocolate muffins.” 

“Um—are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to.” He mumbled. You noticed that you were still holding his wrist, but decided to leave it that way. 

“Don’t worry, I have enough food, and you look like you really need it. C’mon, don’t you want to eat something homemade and still hot after a bad day at work?” You gave him your best smile, and it was obvious in his eyes that he already agreed to your idea. 

“Okay, we can do that. Honestly, I feel like I’m able to eat a fucking elephant.” 

You both shared a laugh before you almost dragged him into your house and closed the door. Only at that moment did you realize that even though you gave Bucky a lot of food, he had never been at your place before. For some reason, you felt really excited to feed him and spend some time together. 

“Sit here while I’m heating the food.” Bucky obediently took a seat, looking with a soft smile at how you were moving around in your little kitchen.

You looked so domestic and soft in the warm yellow lights of the room in the cute pink cotton dress with little flowers all over it. The concentration was written all over your face as you tried to perfectly set plates and cutlery on the table and then put steaming lasagna on it.

“Fuck, it smells so good; you’re going to kill me, doll.” He wasn’t able to handle the amazing smell of food right in front of him. 

Your cheeks heated, and you waved your hand at him. “It’s just lasagna, Buck; don’t be dramatic.” You took a place near him, and you both started to eat your food. 

“I’m not being dramatic. I already told you that, besides my ma, you have the best food in the world. I could’ve eaten it three times a day for the rest of my life and not gotten tired of it.” He took another big bite, moaning as the taste filled his mouth. 

“You’re making me blush. No one ever told me this.”

“That’s my intention, doll. What, none of your boyfriends complemented your skills? Because I would’ve put the ring on that finger way too fast.” You looked at each other for a few seconds until you noticed that he had already finished his portion. 

“Do you want more?” Ignoring his previous words, you stood up and took his plate to give him some extra food. The dress gently flew around your thighs, drawing Bucky’s attention to your legs when you turned around. “Anyway, what happened at work? You mentioned your boss.”

“Ugh, Pierce is a fucking dipshit. Everyone there hates him, but he has too much money, so we can’t do anything. Me and Steve have really been on bad terms with him since the first day. He tries to tell us how to do our work, but his head is so far up in his ass that he can’t even listen to what we say.” You returned to your place and put a plate in front of Bucky again. The frown took place on his face while he was talking about Pierce, so you put a hand on top of his without even thinking. 

“He sounds like a total asshole. I’m sorry that you guys have to work for him.” Bucky’s face softened at your action. He flipped his hand so he could interlace your fingers, and you felt the warm feeling all over your body. 

You both definitely felt something, but you still stayed silent, enjoying the connection. It was obvious that you had feelings for each other. It was just hard to admit out loud, and, honestly, Bucky was so scared that you might think that he did all of this just to get into your pants. Which is not true. Well, he doesn’t mind, but it’s not his only intention. He wants to treat you right and ask you out on a date. 

Back then, he felt so bold and offered to help you with the firewood with the hope of getting to know you better. Steve and Sam obviously knew about his new “work” and teased him about it all day long. Unfortunately, he still didn’t find the right moment to ask you out. Those times when he came to you on Friday evenings and you were watching him work in your cute dresses or little pajamas were Bucky’s favorites. You looked so soft, cozy, and domestic that he wished to see you like this every day. 

After the last piece of a chocolate muffin disappeared in Bucky’s mouth and he let out a moan of satisfaction, he sat in your kitchen with closed eyes and a smile on his face. 

“If I had to have a shitty day just to get this type of meal at the end of the day, I’m ready for it.”

“Bucky!” You laughed at his dramatic words. “You don’t have to have a bad day. I can feed you just because.” 

“Well, you said it yourself. Now you won’t get rid of me.” You both laughed. Then he suddenly got up and started to put plates in the sink. “You sit, and I’ll wash the dishes.”

“No, Bucky, that’s not how it works!” You got up and caught him by his bicep. Really hard and big bicep. 

“Yes, it is. You’re cooking, then I’m cleaning.” He tried to get away from your grip to turn on the water, but you only held him stronger, now with both of your hands on his arms. 

“Bucky.” When he was standing so close to you, you realized your size and height difference, and it made you shiver. You turned your head up to look him in the eyes. “You are my guest; you shouldn’t do this.”

“My mother taught me to always help women because they are not our maids.” He stepped a little bit closer. “But if you’re saying this only because you want me to leave, I can do that.”

You were both looking at each other, and what you saw in his eyes made you weak in the knees. 

“No, no, I don’t want you to leave.” Your hands moved higher and fell on the sides of his neck. It was everything Bucky needed to finally kiss you.

Two large and rough hands took your face to bring your lips closer to Bucky’s height. He was gentle yet so passionate, and he slowly moved his lips against yours. It was mind-blowing how desperately you wanted him to devour you, to destroy you. While your hands were discovering his broad chest and shoulders, you felt that your body was suddenly lifted in the air and then placed on the kitchen counter.

Now that Bucky didn’t have to lean over to your height, it was easier to kiss you properly. His tongue brushed over your lips to ask for entrance, which you happily gave. Bucky felt too addicted to your taste, your smell, and the feeling of your smaller body against him. It drove him crazy.

“I've wanted to do that since the day I looked at you.” The hands on your hips tightened and moved you closer to his body. “You look so pretty, God.” Bucky’s eyes are running all over your face, trying to memorize every little thing.

“Bucky...” You dragged him closer again, desperate to connect your lips. His large hands wandered all over your body, slightly pulling up your dress and then moving higher and cupping your breasts in them. “I thought you were tired.” His large erection was obvious through his jeans, and you wanted to tease him. 

“I’m never tired for you, doll.” He mumbled against your lips. “I could’ve fucked you right on this table, but I’ll leave it for the next time. Where’s your bedroom?” You didn’t miss the promise to fuck you again, and your body felt ecstatic just because of this thought.

“Up the stairs, second door from the right.” 

Bucky didn’t say a word before your world suddenly moved, and you ended up hanging from his shoulder. Your bare ass was probably right near his face, and you couldn’t help but blush. 

He stormed up the stairs with one hand on your thigh, as if your weight on his shoulder was nothing, and then walked into your main bedroom. 

You were thrown onto your bed, and Bucky stayed in front of you for a few seconds to remember this picture. Swollen lips, eyes full of need, a short dress that pulled up and showed a glimpsing of your white underwear. Yes, you were perfect, and only for him. 

“Come here, Buck.” You raised your hands in his direction, and he obediently climbed on top of you with a smirk on his face.

He sat between your legs, moving his hands up and down the soft skin of your thighs.

“Such a pretty doll for me, in this cute lil’ dress, mm?” His body was hovering over you, and when he found a zipper on the back of your dress, you ended up lying under him only in your white lingerie set in less than a minute. 

The pair of the most beautiful blue eyes devoured your naked body as soon as the piece of clothing was removed, and you had never seen a man look at you this way. Like you were the most beautiful, delicious, and priceless thing in the world. Bucky’s hands gently touched your body from the shoulders to your legs, and you swear that you heard a moan while he was doing it.

“Sweetheart.” He mumbled and leaned to gently kiss the soft skin of your belly, moving with little kisses higher until he reached your lips. “You’re killing me, you know that?” 

“Shut up and kiss me, Barnes.” It was impossible to think straight when his pretty face was right in front of you and his muscular body pushed you deeper into the mattress of your bed. He kissed you as you asked, but it didn’t last long before he pulled away with a grin on his face. You gently brushed his brown locks out of his face and tucked them behind his ears.

“So bossy, dollface... Do I have to fuck this attitude out of you?”

“Mmm, undress, and we’ll see what you are capable of.” You shot back at him, and he just moved away with a smirk on his face. 

In a few seconds, a red henley was thrown somewhere on the floor, and you were face to face with a body that was probably made by the Greek gods. Muscles on muscles, with tanned skin and freckles from the work under the sun. Now you wanted to climb him like a fucking tree.

“Like what you see?” His smirk became wider as he saw the look on your face: slightly parted lips and darkened eyes that were looking at him up and down. Bucky's hands went straight to the belt of his pants, and with the last movement, he was standing in your almost dark bedroom completely naked. 

You almost choked on your saliva when he pulled down his pants and boxers at the same time. He was thick and long, with an angry red head. 

“No way this is gonna fit me…”

“It will, doll. I’ll take care of it. I bet this pretty little pussy will just suck me in.” 

It was over for you. You knew that. A handsome, respectful man with a perfect body and dirty mouth? Yes, he can do whatever he wants with you.

He returned to your bed, sitting in between your spread legs. He didn’t waste any more time when he reached behind your back and unbuttoned your bra. Bucky stood on his knees so perfectly that his dick landed on your covered pussy, and it made you both moan out loud. 

“Look at this, doll. ‘M gonna destroy her.” His hips slightly moved, and because your panties were soaking wet, it was so smooth and perfect. “Can you imagine that? I will stretch you out so well that I’ll ruin any other men for you. Make you–and her– mine.” He reached with one of his hands to your tits and squeezed your nipple between his fingers, while the other one was keeping your legs apart so he would be able to move his hips. 

You tried to close your legs by instinct. The tip of his cock again and again brushed right on your clit, and the slight pain from your nipple made you desperately moan and clench your bedsheets.

“Are you going to cum, pretty girl? Im not even inside of you, and you’re already a fucking mess.” Bucky’s rough voice was so sexy that it made you even wetter, if that was possible. He saw that you were close: by the way your breathing changed and how your eyes rolled back in your head. “C'mon, just let it go. Soak those panties even more.” His movements on your most sensitive parts of the body didn’t stop, and it threw you over the edge.

You were squeezing around nothing, and the most inappropriate and dirty moan escaped your mouth. It was something that you'd never experienced before, and it was so intense that you needed some time to get over it.

“Good girl.” Bucky grabbed your face and connected your lips, giving you another wet and sloppy kiss. 

Then, without hesitation, Bucky’s hands took off the last piece of your clothing, leaving you completely naked for his hungry eyes. He stared at your body up and down for a few seconds and then closed his eyes to take a deep breath and calm himself down. 

“Bucky, please, I need you so much.” You almost cried, trying to grab him and put his body on top of yours, but Bucky was much larger than you, so it was almost impossible.

Bucky finally calmed down a little bit, and he interlaced his right hand with your left, pinning it above your head. His body softly landed on you, and skin-to-skin contact sent shivers down your spine. He was now looking you right in the eyes, and judging by his facial expressions, he either wanted to fuck you lifeless or cuddle and hold you closely.

“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” Bucky’s soft side came out again, and you slightly nodded, giving him permission to continue. The little silver square appeared in his hand out of nowhere before he ripped the package with his teeth and put a condom on. 

You honestly tried to hold back the little bit of disappointment you felt when he decided to use protection. It was smart. You weren’t longtime partners, it was a question of your safety. But the tiny voice in your head told you that you would’ve let him fuck you without it. To feel his perfect d–

Your thoughts were cut off with a deep chuckle. “You look like you’re sad that I put on a condom, doll.” You swear that his eyes darkened when you stayed silent. “If you want it later, I’ll fuck you raw, ‘kay? But now neither of us can think straight.” 

“Are you a perfect man?” You laughed.

“I don’t know, let’s find out.” Your smile faded as soon as you felt the head of his dick at your entrance.

You were still sensitive from your previous orgasm, so when Bucky started teasing you again, rubbing you up and down to cover himself in your slick, you nearly lost it. 

“Bucky, please.” You whine, grabbing the side of his torso with your free hand. “Don’t tease me, please, I can’t—” 

Your words died as Bucky finally pushed inside of you. Your head fell deeper into your soft bed, and Bucky’s body tensed on top of you, trying to hold back a deep moan. 

It was overwhelming. He stretched you out so deliciously that you felt pain and inexplicable pleasure. No one ever made you feel this way—like you were on cloud nine and the man on top of you didn’t even actually fuck you yet. 

“You’re squeezing me so hard that I might cum like a teenager—fuck!” He groaned, squeezing your hand harder. “Relax, baby, I’ll take care of you.”

You tried to relax as much as you could with a dick buried deep inside of you, and Bucky was finally able to move.

Well, if it felt good earlier, then the first movement of his hips probably sent you right to heaven. Bucky cupped your face with his left hand, locking your eyes together, when he started thrusting at a slow pace. 

“So pretty for me, doll. You feel my cock in your stomach, huh?” Bucky’s lips almost touched yours when he talked, but it felt like he was too far away from you. “Good girl, take me so well. Knew that this pussy would be my death.” 

“More... harder, please, fuck me harder.” You spoke in between moans, gazing intently at Bucky's pretty face.

He started fucking you harder. Your bed was slamming your wall, but it didn’t bother you as much as the fact that he was hitting your G-spot with every thrust. You were a fucking whining mess under him, with a slightly open mouth and a drunk-looking face.

“Suck it like a good girl you are.” His thumb slipped into your mouth, and you moaned, doing as he said. “Your pussy is already sucking the shit out of me. Are you going to cum, baby? Going to make a mess on my cock while I fuck you? Imagine if I fucked you raw and filled you up with my load. I bet you’d like that.” The finger went deeper into your mouth, making you gag. You nodded your head as much as you could at Bucky’s words because you were already ready to cum.

“Give it to me, baby.” Bucky growled, sucking on your neck. His hips slammed into yours, making the nastiest noise, but it turned you on even more. A finger slipped out of your mouth, and Bucky’s face was in front of you again. “Fuuuck, I’m gonna cum.”

“M-m, B-bucky! Don't stop, pl– ahhh!” The wave of the best orgasm of your fucking life washed over you. You swear the stars started dancing behind your closed eyes as you endlessly squeezed Bucky’s cock and his body.

The way you were moaning, how your eyes rolled back, and how your whole body trembled pushed Bucky over the edge. A few last movements in your soaking wet pussy and he came, feeling almost lifeless, as if you had sucked the whole energy out of him.

He let go of your hand, which this whole time he held above your head, and cupped your face with both of his hands, kissing away the tears you didn’t even notice.

“Y/N? Baby? Are you okay?” He whispered and moved your head a little bit so your eyes were directed at him. You looked like you were high or really drunk, but he couldn’t argue with the fact that you were the prettiest woman on earth.

“I– it’s like I don't feel my body anymore.” You lazily mumbled and closed your eyes. “No one ever fucked me like this.” 

“Glad to hear that, doll.” Bucky leaned closer and kissed your soft lips with more delicacy and tenderness. “Do you need anything? Food, water, bath?”

“No… Can you just hug me and stay here for the night?” You asked, now afraid that he would leave since he got what he wanted.

“Sure, just let me get rid of this thing, and I’ll still get you some water.” He kissed you on the forehead before carefully untangling his body from yours. You hissed at the new empty and a little bit aching feeling inside of you. “I’m sorry, baby.” 

Bucky threw a condom in the basket under your table and, putting on only his boxers, came down to the kitchen to get you a bottle of water. But when he came back, he saw that you had already fallen asleep.

You looked so cute—still naked, with a peaceful expression on your face, laying in the middle of your messy bed. He thought about whether he should disturb your sleep or not, but you asked him to stay, right? Bucky hesitated for a few seconds, but then came closer to you, placed the bottle on the nightstand, and carefully scooped you into his hands, pushing away the covers. He put you back down, and then you opened your eyes. 

“C’mere…” You mumbled, still sleepy, and grabbed his hand.

Bucky quietly chuckled and got under the cover, hugging you from the back. You happily sighed before drifting back to sleep. Bucky kissed you in the hair, hugged you harder, and fell to sleep with you in his arms.

You woke up a little bit disoriented, trying to figure out what happened last night. 

The bed beside you was empty, but the aching feeling between your legs proved that it wasn’t a dream. You, in fact, fucked your hot lumberjack neighbor. But where did he go?

You found some random oversized t-shirt and walked down the stairs. Everything was silent; your kitchen was empty but crystal clean. Did Bucky just leave? 

Wait a minute. 

Yesterday there was a mess from your cooking and dinner with Bucky.

Now the room was almost shining. 

You looked around in confusion until you noticed a piece of paper on the table. 

All of your bad thoughts disappeared as soon as you read it, and you felt butterflies go crazy in your stomach.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #marvel smut #james buchanan barnes #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #james bucky buchanan barnes #lumberjack! bucky barnes

[nothorses]

I saw your tags on the post about trick or treaters not speaking and I am v interested in hearing more of your thoughts on the concept of “developmental delays”! I‘ve seen the idea that disability is a construct, but I’m not as familiar with the idea that development is also a construct. You have really great takes as an educator and someone who like, actually GETS how kids work, so I am interested in your thoughts!

I also know that posting on this subject might be poking the bear, so it is 1000% cool if you would rather not comment 💜 Tysm!

Oh I'm happy to talk about it! I love talking about this stuff, thank you for asking me to 💙

This isn't exactly new ground; there's been plenty of research into and writing on the subject, and deconstructing "development" as a static concept was, ironically, a huge part of my most recent development class.

The idea is that our understanding of "benchmarks" of development, which informs the larger concept of development as a whole, is heavily rooted in the assumption that Western culture is The Standard. We prioritize walking, talking, reading, and writing, which means we cultivate these skills in our children from a young age, which means they develop those skills more quickly than they do others.

To use one of my favorite examples from Rogoff, 2003, Orienting Concepts and Ways of Understanding the Cultural Nature of Human Development:

Although U.S. middle-class adults often do not trust children below about age 5 with knives, among the Efe of the Democratic Republic of Congo, infants routinely use machetes safely (Wilkie, personal communication, 1989). Likewise, Fore (New Guinea) infants handle knives and fire safely by the time they are able to walk (Sorenson, 1979). Aka parents of Central Africa teach 8- to 10-month-old infants how to throw small spears and use small pointed digging sticks and miniature axes with sharp metal blades: "Training for autonomy begins in infancy. Infants are allowed to crawl or walk to whatever they want in camp and allowed to use knives, machetes, digging sticks, and clay pots around camp. Only if an infant begins to crawl into a fire or hits another child do parents or others interfere with the infant’s activity. It was not unusual, for instance, to see an eight month old with a six-inch knife chopping the branch frame of its family’s house. By three or four years of age children can cook themselves a meal on the fire, and by ten years of age Aka children know enough subsistence skills to live in the forest alone if need be. (Hewlett, 1991, p. 34)" (pg. 5)

In the US we would view "letting an 8-month-old handle a knife" as a sign of severe neglect, but the emphasis here is placed on the fact that these children are taught to do these things safely. They don't learn out of necessity, or stumble into knives when nobody is watching; they learn with care, support, and safety in mind, just like children here learn. It makes me wonder if Aka parents would view our children's lack of basic survival skills with the same concern and disdain as USAmerican parents would view their children's inability to read.

Do we disallow our children from handling knives because it is objectively, fundamentally unsafe for a child of that age to do so- because even teaching them is developmentally impossible- or is that just a cultural assumption?

What other cultural assumptions do we have about child development?

Which ties in neatly with various social-based models of disability, particularly learning and, of course, developmental disabilities. If your culture doesn't value the things you are good at, and you happen to struggle with the things it does value, what kinds of assumptions is it likely to make about you? How will it pathologize you? What happens to that culture if it understands those values to be arbitrary, in order to accommodate your unique existence?

#education #childcare #disability #ftr I am specifically saying that it adds an important and interesting dimension to models of disability based on the social model #because disability is a complex combination of social/cultural and legitimately limiting factors that people to this day #are still trying to define in an inclusive and effective way #(and probably will be forever because it's so tied up in social/cultural and political stuff) #I dont want to imply that disability is 100% entirely made up- but it also isn't 100% entirely 'objective physical reality' or whatever. #its complicated. ill have better thoughts when im not just like 5 weeks into my first disability studies class lmao

[imagine-silk]

if okay if you feel uncomfortable doing this or you just don’t want to, I couldn’t find any rules in your profile, but will you either do a platonic yandere miguel o’hara or platonic yandere parker family finding out that the reader self harms? I hope you have a good day/night!

》¿Por qué no los dos? This brand of ask isn't my favorite but I do my best to do it justice. It's a serious topic.

The Parker's (using the babysitter background x)

Absolutely not. They found out after you were half living at their house and they are speechless. Nothing could have prepared them for this.

Your family either doesn't know or overlook it. Either way they hate your family, your parents especially. None of your siblings snitched on you? Not even once? That disdain is set in stone and there is nothing you could do about it.

You always wear some sort of long sleeve and they're cool with that but they wrapped your arm underneath with bandages. Lord knows they have a ton of them. Don't even think about taking them off because they check everyday.

As impossible as it sounds, they spend more time with you.

MJ gets off of work the second her shift is over. "Sorry. My son/daughter is waiting for me to get home." She doesn't get into it ever. If someone asks, you're having homework trouble.

Peter makes sure Mayday is with you all the times. You can't have anything sharp around a baby. Especially a baby that climbs everywhere. Plus that means they can get more pictures. Win-win.

They make sure you know you can talk to them if you have anything to say. They will always listen. Peter is always willing to stop everything for it. He knows how hard things can hit you.

Miguel

He reacts with aggression at first. He freaks out, asking about who did it to you and what their names are. When you say it was you he doesn't believe it. You might be covering for someone or you didn't know who did it. He's even willing to believe you did it on accident. It takes a few minutes to convince him you did it.

After that he pulls you into a hug and says he's proud of you for telling him instead of waiting until he found out. He shushes you while you cry on his shoulder.

He says he trusts you to keep away from doing it or making any plans to hurt yourself but that's not true. Dude has inter-dimensional cameras he watches at work and checks when you're sleeping. He makes an effort to grab your arm every so often. Nothing to tip you off.

He doesn't press you to talk about it. He asks if you want to talk about it once and then let's you come to him on your terms. Any time you do he holds your hand.

As a single dad he can't always be there or have someone to keep you company so he tries to keep you busy. He'll get you into any hobby you want. If it's basketball he'll never miss a game. If it's ballet he will buy as many shoes as you go through. If you like cooking he'll leave every meal in your hands and stock the fridge. Anything.

Now that all that fluff is out of the way let's get down to business. Everyone around you is a suspect. All your classmates or co-workers. Every Spider who comes into contact with you. Any villain that seems to know about you in the slightest, even if they don't know he's your father, is maimed. You need to feel safe and loved and he doesn't need any unwanted stress in your life. Every single one of them is one the chopping block and his axe is very heavy.

#ask and you shall receive #atsv #peter b. parker #mary jane parker #mayday parker #miguel o'hara #yandere #platonic yandere

[snootlestheangel]

If someone hasn't asked yet Pricegravesnik for that ship thing :D

Ooohhh a challenge! Let's see where this goes lol

They're all married for this btw

If anyone wants to submit another ship, please do so! If you actually have other ideas for the questions "Like who takes the hottest showers?" then I'd love to hear them!

Who was the one to propose? Actually I want to say Price when he proposed to Nik. I want to say neither were willing to commit to marrying each other for a couple years until something happened and Price realized it's never a guarantee to keep the good things in life, so might as well keep them close while you can. Nik's the one that started the flirting with Graves and wanted to propose to him, but Graves beat him to it. (my tired brain made me read that as Graves proposed to himself, which honestly? He would. He'd do it just to mess with them and go "Sorry, I'm already engaged")

Who stressed more over wedding planning? I genuinely see Nik as the one that was flipping out the whole time. Graves was surprisingly the least stressed (he was recruiting his Shadows for help shhhhh) and Price was experiencing about the normal level of stress you'd expect for a wedding.

Who decorated the house? Graves. In truth, it was a mostly group effort; Price's favorite recliner is there, Nik's very nice, suspiciously acquired liquor cabinet, a few things they've both received from Laswell, Farah, Alex, and the 141 boys. But Graves is the true decorator. Granted, most of this stuff is gifts from the Shadows when they heard he was getting married.

Who does the cooking? I, again, want to say Graves's Southern ass does, but like... I feel like Price knows his way around a kitchen, ya know? Nik is banished from kitchens.

Who is more organized? None of them are necessarily organized per say. Graves is the best at keeping the appearance of being organized but in reality it's Price. Graves's planners are always neat, his desk is always neat, but that doesn't mean shit. Price's office always looks like Nik landed a copter too close but he knows exactly where everything is and he's the most on top of schedules/appointments/important dates.

Who suggested kids first? Nik. Like as a serious suggestion. He's seen the way both his husbands are, and he just knows they'd be wonderful dads. Desperately wants to be a girl dad.

Who's the cuddler? Nik is the cuddliest, but Graves is a close second. Price just wants some fucking peace and quiet.

Who is big spoon/little spoon? Graves always ends up the little spoon of at least one of them. As much as he tries his best to be a big spoon and big spoon only, he always ends up in the middle of them with one wrapped around behind him. Nik is always a big spoon though, and somehow Price ends up being the little spoon. (Graves is not complaining, he's got two bears for husbands so you know ending up in the middle of that is hella nice. And he should be thankful) *I am extremely jealous of Graves now but I have no one to blame but myself and maybe @midnight193 for submitting this ship*

What's their favorite non-sexual activity? Probably something quiet, but at the same time they're all so chaotic it'd never stay quiet long, so I almost want to say something like *mind blanks* Um.... Honestly? Bowling. Don't ask me why, it just popped in there and now I can't get that mental image out of my head. That or axe-throwing cause they're each such show-offs. Graves gets a +2 strength bonus when the Shadows are around

Who comes home drunk at 3am? Nik. Is there really any other answer? It's not often, it's still a rarity, but still. That! Or it's Graves after a party with his Shadows. He's always absolutely blasted after social engagements involving alcohol with his Shadows

Who kills the spiders? Price. None of them are afraid, but Graves did have one really bad allergic reaction once and ever since then Price is the one to kill the spiders. Nik tried using fire once. It did not work. He is no longer allowed to kill spiders, even though he promises to never do it again

Who falls asleep first? Hot take? Graves. He's going 100 all day and just crashes once it's bedtime. Sometimes, if Nik and Price are coming home late, they walk in to see Graves just sprawled out on the bed, having not even bothered taking his jeans off and he is out cold. (of course they always gently get him into bed proper and that's how he ends up in the middle)

A head-canon? Nik is a human furnace, which is partly why he has to be one of the ends when they cuddle/sleep. There have been times where he's ended up in the middle and Price is just on the floor cause HOT. Graves, a true Texan (he's Texan right? *I am having an existential crisis over this for some reason??*) is used to the heat, and is secretly sometimes reminded of home with it, so he's okay with being swarmed by human heater Nik. Price, a fucking Brit, can't stand it when he's too warm for comfort. He'd rather kill his back sleeping on the floor or their really shitty couch than be trapped with that. A second one because why not? Price always ends up being the "victim" of sexual jokes/blatant nasty flirting from Graves and Nik. He can be chilling, minding his business, and suddenly one of them says something really dirty to the other and Price, the poor thing, it's not his fault he gets so easily flustered!

Do they have any rituals? Graves has so many rituals when it's Shadow Olympics week. There's too many to count but they're all vital for his team winning, and even some of them to ensure none of his Shadows are harmed/all have fun. Nik constantly teases him for being a dad, which ends up in Graves calling himself Daddy and making Price snort his tea. Price has incredible oral hygiene, and the other two have pretty normal routines for that sort of thing. Nik's only "ritual" is the series of stretches he does before flying. It took a while for Graves to be able to witness it, so Price once recorded it and sent it to him.

Who has the most patience? Nik, a thousand times over. Price has to deal with Soap, Ghost, and Gaz on a constant basis. And those boys are so needy they can't just leave him alone during leave, either! Graves can be pretty patient, but after a long day of dealing with hyperactive Shadows and a giant techie with chronic anxiety, he gets a little snippy. Nik on the other hand? Totally chilled out like 90% of the time. He's had a couple of bad days where he'll scowl at someone annoying him and the very rare occasions that he does lose his cool. Ghost has witnessed this once, and the rant Nik was on wasn't even directed at him, but he's still traumatized by it (@cod-dump has an incorrect quotes that definitely inspired this. In fact! Mike is the fucking reason I'm obsessed with Graves now! So *angrily stomps but it's more like a cute puppy* damn you! This is your fault!)

Gif that sums up their relationship?

I dunno I tried. I searched too long and this is all I could come up with

#john price #captain john price #cod nikolai #phillip graves #nikpricegraves #pricenikgraves #snootles's askbox #snootles answers #price headcanons #john price headcanons #graves headcanons #nikolai headcanons #the ot3 is ot3-ing

[merp-blerp]

EVEN MORE Things about Cinderella's Castle I'm excited about already as a big Cinderella fan

I did this once, guess I'm excited enough to do it again!

The songs sound wonderful! Can't wait to hear what they sound like with the cast and I can't wait to see what Lauren does with the choreo! NPMD blew me away and I can't wait to see how this show will kill me. "Cursed Crazy", "Step On Your Grave", "Ash To Ash", and "Ever After" are my favorite demos so far.

I think it's so cool that "Step On Your Grave" is such an angry song. I know it takes place while Ella's cooking her step-family dinner, but it would be really interesting if a reprise took place after Ella learns she can't go to the ball (that is if the story works the same way as usual). Normally, if Cinderella gets a song during this moment, it's very mournful, like say "In My Own Little Corner (Reprise)" from 1997 Cinderella. And that's great! But giving Ella a song like that, but with a "No Good Deed" from Wicked vibe would be so original and new as far as I'm aware! Cinderella has every right to be sad at her abusive situation, but also every right to be angry! Imagine she wants to follow them to the ball not to have a good night like usual but to kill her step-family on the way or at the ball somehow. Whether a rendition of "Step On Your Grave" is at a moment like this in the show or not, Ella deserves a song like that I think and I'm glad she's got one.

"Step On Your Grave" has a lot of allusions to Ella once being a princess in the making before the step-family or something came along, and Ella mentions her father having a sword, so I wonder if the Ashmores are fallen royalty or had royal tie-ins of some kind. Like maybe Ella was arranged to wed a prince or something.

"Ever After" has some elements of grief and that's so special I think. Cinderella often loses someone or something under her step-family, like her family or her former life, but the grief aspect isn't brought up too much very often in adaptations, the most significant time I can think of it being brought up is in 1997 Cinderella. It'd be nice to include that element in this show. I can't help but wonder if Ella's father's death was accidental in this show. "Ever After" kind of reminds me a bit of "Cool As I Think I Am" from NPMD sound-wise; some smart musical person should mash them up once "Ever After" is released. Ella also might be kinda regicidal in this song too, so... POOR GIRL'S JUST SO CONTEMPLATIVE!

I genuinely doubt "Trappings of Starlight" has much to do with the Starlight Theather from Hatchetfield, but to add to that craziness, the "Uh-oh-oh-oh," reminds me of the vocalizing from "Axe Man" from NT2. And "Should we shun her?" in "Castle On A Hill" reminds me of "Should we kill him?" in "The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals". I don't think it means anything though. It seems pretty clear that The Lands That Are and Hatchetfield aren't going to have much overlap.

"Ash To Ash" seemingly referencing Ella's mom! I get this feeling that Ella's mom was a witch or enchantress of some kind and that's why she was burned. And it sounds like the Fairy Queen and Ella are maybe plotting revenge on someone or a system, maybe? And I wonder what QF means by saying Ella is "Terrible as I". Maybe she means terrible as in great or fearsome, like, say, "Oz the great and terrible" or something. And the lyric, "I shall wrap thee in these cinders, Ell" makes me wonder if her dress will be made with starlight + the cinders on her body—what a wicked idea! I love how far the Langs took the whole cinders and ash thing. With Ella's surname being Ashmore and this being a duet with the Fairy Queen, I'm very curious about the title and if there's a double meaning; are Ella and the Fairy Queen related in some way? This retelling will be so good!

In the subtitles for "Ash To Ash" in the 4/13 livestream, I assumed "Q+C" was supposed to be "Queen (Fairy) + Cinderella", but listening to the song a second time, it sounds like C's lines overlap Ella's very slightly, which would make it hard for one person (Bryce) to sing alone. So C is likely not Ella in that song. Maybe it's Crumb? Some in the chat said it probably just meant chorus, so we'll see eventually.

All the little motifs that exist already! Like "Will it Ever After Happily?" in "Castle On A Hill" and "Ever After". Or the talk of Ella painting in both "Ever After" and "Last For Ever". "Ever After" has so many! AAAHHH!

The Lyrics in "Castle On A Hill" being "A queen and her vanity, a beast and his agony" have me Thinking™. Are the prince's parents Beauty and the Beast? Is the prince a beast? And there's also the Excalibur callback??? Since Nick said there would be no other fairytales involved in this story, it might just be more of a reference than literal, but it's still cool.

The lyrics to "Cursed Crazy" make me wonder if the citizens blame Ella for the Ashmore family's demise for some reason. The idea of Cinderella not even being able to find potential solace in the townsfolk is so sad! There's so much to think about!

Dying to know what "'Cause my love will be fierce, and your love will be missed," in "Trappings Of Starlight" will mean. It's such an intriguing line. As well as who is the character singing the song. We seemingly don't know who they are yet.

Seraphim Fairy Queen is such a cool idea, especially with all the talk of God(s) or a god in "Ash To Ash"! No pressure on the Langs, but it'd be so cool for them to be able to go through with that design concept, even if it's through minimal tactics. I can't wait to see who this Fairy Queen is. Is she the prince's mom??? A Sleeping Beauty-type character we could follow in a future show??? Ella's mom??? Ella's girlfriend??? This will be so cool!

There are more characters that we haven't been introduced to yet! We can still get Ella a girlfriend guys! Genuinely excited to see who they are!

The fact that the trolls eat rodents and other smaller creatures has me a bit worried about Sir Hop and Crumb. Maybe Ella was going to cook them for her step-family, but became friends with them instead, protecting them from getting eaten.

Not to get too Crazy, but what if the characters singing with Ella in "Last For Ever" are her parents, resurrected, or never actually dead or something. Probably not, but what if???

I have a feeling I'll be making more lists as we learn more about the show, so if I have any more thoughts I'll try.

#starkid #team starkid #cinderella's castle

[gilded-fern]

Kratos x Reader Relationship Ramblings

A/N: Hello! God of War Ragnarok has quickly become one of my favorite games and Kratos is one of my favorite characters. These are some thoughts on what a relationship with Kratos would be like along with a brief mention of Mimir and Atreus at the end.  Meant to take place before God of War Ragnarok but after 2018 God of War. Was written with the intent of the reader being female but I don’t think I use any gendered language (correct me if I’m wrong tho!). Enjoy! 

Word Count: 541

Warnings: None

The beginning of your relationship is rocky and met with hesitance. Kratos has grieved Faye properly, and he does miss her dearly. At night the man wonders if Faye saw Kratos falling in love again after her death, was she mad about it? Would she be happy? These are only a handful of the doubts and concerns he has, don't even mention how he truly feels about being with you. 

Kratos does not think he is worthy of love again. The man is still haunted by the blood on his hands and the ash that stains his skin. Kratos has lost so very much, especially those he loves romantically. 

Kratos is quiet and not the most physically affectionate person out there. Kratos' main love languages when you first start a romantic relationship are acts of service and gifts. You offhandedly mention you need to chop more firewood or need a specific item. Next thing you know, the item is conveniently placed nearby and the wood pile is fully stocked. 

When Kratos begins to feel more secure in the relationship, his anxieties and fears are soothed by your love. Expect the stoic man to engage in physical affection a bit more. It's small, Kratos resting a hand on the small of your back as he leans over you to see whatever little hobby you are doing. You’ll wake up in the morning to being securely wrapped up in his arms, his head resting in the crook of your neck. But that's on the rare chance you even wake up earlier than him, Kratos wakes up before the sun has even risen.

I believe Kratos would appreciate a lover who is capable and can take care of themself but not a fighter. If the situation called for you to defend yourself, you could but you don’t seek fights. 

Your daily routine consists of normal household chores, you usually cook, clean, and fix the hole Atreus created in his shirt for the 3rd time that week. Not because Kratos is unable to but because the man thinks of food as just sustenance and you prefer your stews to not being plain with just deer meat. 

 Kratos spends his days' training, hunting, and doing physical upkeep around the home. The spartan is constantly finding something to fix, whether it be a hole in the roof or he refuses to believe his axe is sharpened enough Kratos is always doing something. It's impossible to get this man to do nothing for a moment. 

You take Kratos's workaholic nature as a challenge, often distracting the man during the day. Atreus finds it entertaining as you playfully jump on the man's back, Kratos knows the second you walk out of the cabin you can’t scare him, pestering him until he stops whatever task he’s obsessed with and gives you attention. 

Mimir enjoys your company, the head telling you stories to fill the silence as you work. Changing the book he is ready when he finishes. 

Atreus adores you, you add calmer and warmer energy into the home which is a nice change of pace for the young man. Atreus is happy to see a softer side of his father with you, one he’s never really been able to see.

#kratos x reader #kratos #god of war #reader insert

[gatitties]

Cooking time

─Dbd x gn!teen!reader (platonic)

─Summary: you using a kitchen with a survivor and a killer, what could go wrong?

─Warnings: slight mention of blood and dead animal bodies

ty to Gay4kitty on ao3 for the idea <333

11 < 12 > 13

Today was a strange day, you woke up dazed and confused, more than usual, it took you at least half an hour to clear the mental haze, half an hour of staring at a fixed point while practically drooling like a living dead body. That was it, it was one of those strange days in which for one reason or another everything made you more sensitive, more aware and above all further away from your mischievous personality.

Only on these days would you crave the strangest and most unusual things, when you were in your world one time you got the impulse to clean the house (you ended up accidentally creating mustard gas), other days you would spend the day lying there staring at the ceiling, or without eating, or not stopping eating, you also found yourself doing weird 5-minute-crafts and endless stupid things or temporary cravings.

Today was one of those cravings, scrolling through your phone you kept getting ads and cooking videos, and it was your craving of the day, making cookies, it would be something simple, right? It's not like you're making a cake, you can't go wrong with chocolate chip cookies.

"It seems like someone is quieter than usual, is something wrong? Did the entity cut your tongue?"

As much as you would have liked to answer that yes, your tongue had been cut out and that you would be mute for the rest of your days, you only shrugged your shoulders in response to Bill, the old man looked at you as if you had grown another head, he expelled some smoke from his cigarette and stood up from the log on which he was leaning.

"Seriously, is something wrong? You don't look like yourself."

"Yeah… I only have one goal today, I'm looking for something."

"Oh, is this something very special to you? I can help?"

You looked up from the phone like a puppy, you had found the recipe you were looking for and old Bill offered you help, although it wasn't what he expected, he couldn't refuse when he saw how your face lit up, it wasn't every day he had that vision of you, when most of your time you spent causing chaos from one place to another.

Unfortunately at the camp there was obviously nothing that could help you, no oven, no chocolate chips and some other ingredients you needed, so you had to give up some of your blood points so the damn entity would let you have your whim.

This is how you ended up in The Huntress's cabin, oddly enough it seemed to be the only one with her own kitchen and as organized as possible, just ignore the dried blood stains and gutted animal carcasses and it would be a pretty normal kitchen.

Of course you weren't going to be on her property without supervision, while you concentratedly read all the instructions you ignored a staring fight between Bill and Anna who was sharpening her ax slowly looking at the man, despite the fact that most murderers had become accustomed to having a teenager doing stupid things in their part of the forest is not the same with other survivors.

"So now we mix the butter with the flour…"

The two adults were just supervising what you were doing, Bill wasn't much of a man in the kitchen and The Huntress didn't want to break your longest streak of concentration yet, so you were doing all the work, but you didn't care. You sneezed at the least opportune moment causing part of the dough you were creating to come out of the mixing bowl, half of your face covered in flour, you turned your head slowly like in a horror movie when you heard the old man's throaty laugh and the women.

"It's not so funny, I ruined my outfit!"

"Isn't that pajamas…?"

You looked at Anna as if she had said the biggest insult anyone could have said to you in your entire short life, slapping your clothes and face clean.

"It's my favorite pajamas."

You narrowed your eyes as you saw how they both continued laughing at your misfortunes, the most sensible thing would be to start a food fight, in this case, flour, but you were beginning to come out of your calm state and your stupidest side began to bloom again, so no, you didn't start a flour war.

"Utensil war!"

Spoons, forks, plates, glasses, knives, pots and even the occasional ax on Anna's part flew from one side to the other while the beautiful intention of having some bonding time became chaotic up to this point, luckily nothing could hurt you inside the camps, otherwise you would already have a fork embedded in your hand and Bill a knife in his forehead. In a marksmanship fight Anna would definitely win.

How you managed to finish the dough while all this fighting was happening was beyond your mind, but you did it in record time, apparently having divided attention makes you more agile in something, but that was not the problem. After a battle where you almost destroyed The Huntress's house, after minimally cleaning up all the mess, hearing some complaints from Bill about his back pain and grunts from Anna at seeing the disorder, were you able to relax for a minute, yes, just one, the tranquility had to be broken.

"Were you making normal or lava cookies?"

"What?" You almost broke your neck because of how quickly you raised your head from your cell phone when you heard the old man, when you looked at the oven you could see how some black smoke was coming out of it "Damn! Why haven't you notified me?"

Bill shrugged, saying that he thought you were attentive while Anna declared that she liked them crispy, although crispy is one thing and charred is another. She helped you take them out, luckily not all of them seemed in bad condition, only the ones that were deepest in the oven were burned.

"Hey Bill, do you want to try a cookie as black as your lungs? Maybe it tastes good."

"There's no way I'm getting another cancer… how come you say so much lately, do you double up on the next one? multiply and give it away?"

"Do you mean duplicate it and give it to the next person?"

"Yes, that… I don't like sweet things very much."

You nodded, watching as Anna already seemed to be doing the tasting, you didn't know if the result was good or bad because this woman didn't seem to have any facial expression other than skepticism and disapproval.

"They are… okay?"

You took it as a positive review, ending kitchen time and your daily and impulsive craving, you had learned to do something else today, to dodge knives but above all, something that no one else should know… you had created a deadly weapon.

"I'm so tired, I think I'll sleep well today if Freddy doesn't want to play petanque in my dreams."

You throw yourself onto your bed, being greeted by your chubby hamster who looked at you as if waiting for you to tell him about your day, so you did, Cartman seemed to listen to everything intently while his big empty eyes gathered the information.

"Don't tell anyone, but this," you got up to pick up a box, inside it were the cookies that came out defective "this is a deadly weapon my friend, just look at this."

You grabbed one, throwing it with all your strength, your intention was not to hit the window of your cabin, but it ended up being like that, so strong and hard that the cookie broke the glass and not only that.

"Who the hell is throwing charcoal!? If I could have been hurt it would have split my head open!"

You didn't make out the voice of the person you had accidentally hit, but your gaze was lost in the now broken glass, once you came out of your daze, you closed the box of burnt cookies, lying back on the bed.

"You see… a very dangerous weapon."

#dbd #dead by daylight #dbd x reader #dbd x teen reader #dbd x platonic reader #reader insert #platonic reader #gn teen reader #gn reader #dbd x gn reader #sfw #survivorsxreader #killersxreader #the huntress #bill overbeck

[argumentativeaxolotl]

MORE CARS HUMANIZED HEADCANNONS⁉️⁉️ REAL⁉️⁉️⁉️ NOT CLICKBAIT⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

Lightning McQueen:

- my man cannot cook for the life of him. Dawg was let in the kitchen once(one time) and somehow managed to burn the water. He can only make(and is only allowed to make) cereal

- he 110% had an emo phase in highschool/middle school and it was as every bit of painful-“it’s-not-a-phase-mom”-cringe you could think of 💀💀💀

- he really really really fucking likes Cheesecake Factory for some reason. Specifically their bread(it’s bussin) and the club sandwhiches(probably reminds him of Flo)

- he is a food black-hole. Like as soon as that shit is in front of him that shit is gone. And he can and will eat up to like three times his body weight 😭

- he got a shitty tattoo of his lucky sticker when he was first starting out as a racer and would not let anybody fix it up since it meant a lot to him and still does. He eventually offered for Ramone to fix it up, showing how much he trusts the man.

- he’s actually a very very good reader and loved books until Harv(bitch) knocked the habit out of him

Chick Hicks:

- he also cannot cook for shit, but he can make a few more things than Lightning and what he CAN cook actually tastes really fucking good. Like he makes basic ass things but he gives them ✨pizzazz✨ and that shit tastes better.

- he fucking hates traveling and often wishes that his racing job didn’t have him moving all over the country during the season. He’d much rather prefer to stay at home in California.

- he gets very twitchy and nervous whenever he’s traveling and constantly double-triple-and even quadruple checks everything he has to make sure he doesn’t forget something important. He just gets super nerved up and pissier than usual.

- he’s got a phenomenal sense of hearing. Like it’s very weirdly good. Like he’ll hear a fly buzzing around in a loud-ass room. His hearing is so fucking good, it’s considered nearly super-human.

- he puts rocks in snowballs.

- he legit starts fucking tweaking whenever anybody mentions the Camel Incident.

- he adores animals. Like he’s a huge animal lover and he gets it from his mother. His favorite places to visit as a child were any aquarium or zoo, only second to a race track.

Strip Weathers:

- he has a very very long criminal record from his reckless teen years.

- he probably would’ve been a horse girl.

- he knows what My Little Pony is.

- my man watches a lot of adult swim TV shows and he particularly likes the older Simpsons stuff and South Park.

- he had a twin brother. They’re fraternal twins and said brother is Cal’s dad.

- he has so many fucking random skills that nobody would necessarily need, but could… come in handy…?(some of them). He just has a list of weird fucking shit he can do well. He can play the harp, piano, and banjo. He can throw metal sticks and axes with weirdly good aim. He can also sing with his mouth closed, spin a pen extremely well with a variety of tricks, whistle with his fingers, moonwalk very very well, and speak fluent mandarin.

- when he was younger he studied all of the speed laws in his state- and neighboring states- so he could use loopholes to get out of speeding tickets.

- he’s the mom of every friend group he’s in. He’s prepared for everything.

#cars 2006 #cars 1 #chick hicks #human lightning mcqueen #humanized cars #lightning mcqueen #humanization #strip weathers #humanized chick hicks #strip weathers headcanon #chick hicks headcanon #lightning mcqueen headcanon #head canon #headcanons #headcanon

[bengiyo]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

10 Favorite Characters

You asked a broad question, so I hope you’re okay with answers outside of my daily posting. I post a lot about BL on here, but this list is a mild reminder that I am Black. As I’m putting this list together, I’m recognizing a common thread of ruthlessness in these characters that I will have to unpack at some point.

Omar Little (The Wire)

Omar is one of my favorite characters of all time because he was the first sympathetic gay character I ever watched on TV with my dad. As I got older, my dad decided I was old enough and wanted me to watch what he considered to be one of the greatest shows ever made (NOTE: He is correct). I was obsessed with Omar because of his strict code and how gentle and loving he was with his boyfriends. It was amazing to me that we had this powerful gay character in the middle of a modern Greek tragedy and he is one of the most compelling characters ever created in American television.  

Ender Wiggin (Ender’s Game)

One of the sad thing about growing up queer is the people who wrote a lot of your formative works hate queer people. Orson Scott Card was my first major disappointment in this regard. In the 7th grade, I discovered this book in our school library and ended up reading it and the related books multiple times throughout my adolescence.  I was a weird kid who was too smart for my own good. In middle school I struggled with feeling out of place because I was relatively new compared to most of these kids, and my family had me on a specific life track that meant that I had to perform at a high level constantly. I connected with Ender’s isolation and his brilliance. I also connected to his ruthlessness.

Marco (Animorphs)

Animorphs is a pretty dark series for a bunch of elementary school kids to read, but that was K. A. Applegate’s point. War is horrible, and should be avoided. Reading this series is a reading the perspective of child soldiers. There was something about the way Marco always masked with jokes, but was quietly the most ruthless member of their group that means he’s always the one I remember first. There were also the ways he commented on Ax and Jake that just didn’t read straight, and I’ve been relieved that Applegate and the ghost writers have acknowledged the fan read on Marco’s bisexuality. I just love how from appearances at the end of the series Marco is actually okay after all the war, but he absolutely is not.

Benjamin Sisko (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

He was our first Black captain in Star Trek and I will love him forever. He’s also from New Orleans and cooks our food. He’s a devoted father, which was something Avery Brooks requested for the role to make sure we had a positive depiction of Black fatherhood on TV in the 90s. He has an understated spirituality to him. He has grit from facing the ugly side of maintaining a utopia and has an incredible temper that he holds most of the time. He’s a nerd about baseball. He cares about his people and holds firm as their commander. This isn’t a committee for him. He can be so brutal. I love him.

Ghost Dog (Ghost Dog)

Ghost Dog (1999) is one of my favorite movies of all time, and I’ve always loved the version of masculinity Forest Whitaker put into this character. He has a sense of style and flair, and also follows a strict code of conduct. His adherence to his way earned him the respect of everyone in his community, and gangsters in his neighborhood show him admiration and respect. I loved his friendship with Raymond, in which neither knows what the other is saying and yet they are actually on the same page constantly.

Raymond Holt (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

Yes, this show is copaganda, but I love Raymond Holt so much. I love that Andre Braugher played the Straight Man role in a comedy as a politically out gay man who has such a serious exterior. Holt was so gay in so many ways and I am obsessed with him. He is so deep into his niche interests (like me) and yet he was actually such a great mentor figure to everyone under him. I loved that he and his husband were so devoted to each other but were never depicted as the perfect couple. I love that he has a petty beef with another colleague. He’s just an incredible character.

Kiram Kir-zaki (Lord of the White Hell)

Kiram is the first time I ever realized how deep the programming in speculative fiction to read the protagonist as a white man with brown hair and brown eyes. Kiram is a dark-skinned Haldiim youth with curly gold hair and light eyes. It took me three readings of this book to perceive Kiram properly, and it’s something that has shaken me for a long time. Kiram is brilliant, snarky, and too gay for his own good. He’s also not stupid. I love reading a smart gay character who generally cannot hide who he is doing the work to blend in to a homophobic setting. Ginn Hale also writes gay sex better than some gay male authors.

Kakei Shiro (What Did You Eat Yesterday?)

Honestly, when am I ever not thinking about this man? I love how, even if he can’t immediately give Kenji everything he might want, he gives Kenji all that he can. He couldn’t say he loved Kenji for a long time, but you could feel the love in his cooking. I’m so happy to have this man and his partner back on my screen again. It is just so hard to be gay. I am so relieved that many of the folks reading my posts didn’t suffer The Knowing, because I know that Shiro and I will never be able to get away from what it did to us.

Chiron (Moonlight)

The terrible intersection of poverty, race, and sexuality has never been better exemplified for me than in this film that has no white people in it. There are just so many fewer choices for us, especially if you can’t hide who you are. I love Chiron so much because we see so much of what he was forced to be pushed onto him. There’s something heartbreaking and beautiful that as an adult he resembles Juan, and that he never got over Kevin.  I find it hard to explain why Chiron means so much to me, but I’m black and gay so I don’t always feel like I have to.

Max (Black Sails)

I love Max because she consistently chose to not be cruel when so many others would have. She is not accumulating power for her own ego or to punish those who wronged her. She holds power as a facilitator. History doesn’t remember the facilitators who keep the lights on and make sure the bread gets made every day, but you notice their absence within two days when they’re gone. Max is also funny to me because she and Flint almost never encounter each other, but have caused the other so much grief.

Thank you for the ask!

#answered #black sails #what did you eat yesterday? #star trek #deep space 9 #moonlight #animorphs #lord of the white hell #ginn hale #ender's game #ghost dog #brooklyn nine nine #the wire

[optiwashere]

I became completely unhinged because of the full version of this art by @forestborg so I had to write about it. It cooked my brain.

This is smutty, smutty smut, but it's also a light exploration of drow trans women as well. Drow culture has always been one of my favorite things about the Forgotten Realms ever since I was a lil DM running my fucked up version of 3E. Combine that with my constant need to trans all the ladies? Yeah.

Really though... this fic is super explicit. I'm adding this to my Kinktober series because I selfishly want that series to say 31/31 some day and this fic definitely belongs.

Rating: E for Exquisite frottage

Category: F/F

Ship: Minthara/Karlach

Tags and AO3 Summary under the break.

Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, Smut, Trans Female Character, Trans Karlach, Trans Minthara, Light Dom/sub, Frottage, Come as Lube, Tail Sex, Size Difference, Choking, Breathplay, Drow-typical Gender Hierarchy, Gender Identity, mentions of Minthara/Lae'zel, Inspired by Fanart

Summary:

A vision on the battlefield. A heart warm enough to beat a thousand times too strong for its own good. An axe with a sharp edge, though its haft is unkempt and left to rust. These are the ways Minthara knows Karlach. There is one other way she desires to know her. Or: Minthara and Karlach spend an evening in a tent together.

#bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #karlach #minthara baenre #minthara x karlach #karlach x minthara #mintharlach #I don't know the common ship tag rip me #my fic #anotheropti's kinktober 2023 #I wrote this in a frenzy and I've spent basically all day editing it while I work lmao #I'm still a Minthara/Lae'zel truther... but the art... I am a victim of propaganda...

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Adaine Abernant S3 Character Playlist: Side A

So many feelings, so many. Here's to our overworked teenage oracle of all.

Genres Include: Alternative Rock, Folk, Pop-punk

1. Custom Concern, Modest Mouse

Their custom concern for the people Build up the monuments and steeples To wear out our eyes I get up just about noon My head sends a message for me to reach for my shoes and then walk Gotta go to work, gotta go to work, gotta have a job Goes through the parking lot fields Doesn't see no signs that they would yield and then thought This'll never end, this'll never end, this'll never stop

Yeah, obviously, this is about spending so much of your time devoted to a job and losing your mind about it. There are a lot of songs about hating your job, but I don't think they capture the level of dissociation and disillusionment like this one.

2. Why Am I Like This?, Orla Gartland

Last night, I smoked a cigarette My dad would have been so upset Then we got tattoos by the coast Maybe I'm an old soul trapped in a young body Maybe you don't really want me there at your birthday party I'll be there in the corner, thinking right over Every single word of the conversation we just had So why am I like this? Why am I like this?

I can just imagine Adaine getting to experience so much of "normal" teenage life now that she's not controlled by her parents, getting to be the party wizard, getting to be the cool girl with the best friends, and knowing that she still has that little voice in the back of her head.

3. I Don't Know You, Mannequin P*ssy

I know one, two things I have heard about you But I wouldn't tell you No, I couldn't tell you I know three, four things that they say about you But I wouldn't tell you No, I couldn't tell you I know a lot of things I know a lot of things But I don't know you

Adaine's exchanges with Oisin really took me off guard, just because romance has kind of never been able to be on her plate the past two seasons. It totally makes sense, she was dealing with the worst abusive family ever, but also that means that 17-year-old cool girl adaine is absolutely clueless about this stuff (not to say that Oisin is any better).

4. Boreas, The Oh Hellos

Making lists, folding laundry Keeping tidy with my radio show I'd be lying if I told you I'm keeping tidy anymore Yeah, I swing from believing That maybe my working will all pay off To considering drinking with Molotov I'm halfway out the door Maybe then my breath could embody A wildfire starting I'd sweep up the forest floor And my body'd breath life into the corners Be a darker soil

This song, in particular, is MY burnout song. It's one of my favorites, and it (Romans 10:9 by The Mountain Goats) is what I listen to when I just can't take it anymore. Also I love to pepper in a little bit of rage/fire/red imagery into each of the characters since I think we can all tell what brennan has cooking down the line 👀

5. Running Out Of Time, Paramore

Never mind, I hit the snooze on my alarm twenty times But I was just so tired There was traffic, spilled my coffee, crashed my car, otherwise Woulda been here on time Shoulda, coulda, wouldn't matter, ultimate alibi You know it's a lie There was a fire Metaphorically Be there in five Hyperbolically

Obsessed with this song and the entire album, Ms. Williams (and the rest of Paramore, by extension) have my entire heart. I also like that we have cross over with having Cest Comme Ca on the Kristen playlist and this song here. I really like the dreamy quality this one has for Adaine though (could almost say trance-like ha ha)

6. How to Boil an Egg, Courtney Barnett

Pull yourself together, pick myself apart Nothing lasts for never so be still my bleeding heart Oh I've been dreaming, dreaming of a brand new start Yeah, I've been dreaming, dreaming of a brand-new start Oh, you have a great abundance of axes there to grind Remember some people have real problems next time you whine Oh, hang the washing Hang the washing on the line Yeah, hang the washing, hang the washing on the line

I just think she should start charging for prophecies. Like those tarot readers/astrologers on like etsy. People (elves) should fantasy venmo the oracle and she should turn her unpaid position into a lucrative business. Extort some hoity toity elves.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 #d20 fhsy #fantasy mixtapes #adaine o'shaughnessey #adaine abernant #siobhan thompson #Spotify

[skrunkly-baloongis]

Four Bastards of the Yan-pocalypse play Animal Crossing: New Horizons:

Jack

John Doe

Alan

Ren/[Redacted]

Note: This is just my opinion and please dont take it seriously lol. Also, I wrote all of this while sleep deprived so if none of it makes sense, sorry lmfao ;w;

------------------------

Jack:

Favorite villager(s):

Would probably be Pietro or Goldie. Pietro due to the clown look and how cute he is, and Goldie because she's so sweet.

Favorite Activities:

I could easily see him as a very helpful person. Helping Guliver and Gulivarr, helping Harv with Reese and Cyrus, and easily befriending villagers left and right. He probably really likes the cooking mechanic of the game, as food is a universal love language. Extra points if you cook right along with him. Will probably cry if you gift him anything.

Favorite NPC's:

I'd say either Harv or Timmy and Tommy. Harv because of how sweet he is, and Timmy and Tommy because of how cute and endearing they are (just like you!)

________________________________________

John Doe:

Favorite Villager(s):

You probably saw this coming from a mile away, but Coco, Kiki, and Jitters. Coco because he likes her look, Kiki because she's black like his hair and she's pretty cool, and Jitters because...well...Just look at the dude lol

Favorite Things to do:

When it comes down to this, I honestly think Doe would be fine with whatever. I think he would like fishing and finding fossils just so he could run up to you and go "HEY LOOK AT THIS IT REMINDS ME OF YOUUUUUU" and it's legit an oarfish lmfao. He also probably wears a custom design sweater you made of his irl sweater in game.

Favorite NPC's:

I think he would like how cracked out Blathers looks. Just a nervous little mess of a man. I think he would like that. Either that or he'd really like Flick, specifically when Flick tries catching a bug and failing. (Then he can "Show this lizard boy how it's done").

----------------------------------------------------

Alan

Favorite Villagers:

Lmfao roast me all you want but Apollo all the way baby. Apollo, Dobie, Fang and Fauna. Apollo, Dobie and Fang because he thinks they look cool and likes interracting with them, and Fauna because she reminds him of his Doe-Eyes!

Favorite Things to Do:

A legend at material gathering. Need some wood? Bro he's out the door with his little axe ready to swing for you. Fishing? This man has enough fucking fish to fill three museums. You have to beg him to stop. He likes watching you go about your business as you talk to villagers and do whatever. He especially likes it when you bring him small gifts! Whether it be a new axe, fishing rod, or (his most recent favorite) ungodly ammounts of freshly cooked soup, he will cherish it like no tomorrow and be sad if he has to empty his pockets due to lack of storage.

Favorite NPC's:

I could see him really liking Cyrus. Both work well with their hands and are pretty talented at it! I could also see him liking Brewster as well, just for his kinda chill vibes. Plus, getting coffee with you would make his day!

-------------------------------

Ren/[Redacted]

Favorite Villagers:

For Ren, I would say he would like Judy, Chelsea, and Merry. Honestly any cute villager! Especially ones that remind him of how cute he thinks you are! For [Redacted], Muffy, Kabuki and Lucky! [Redacted] has a stark difference from what Ren enjoys, opting for more darker and creepier villagers.

Favorite Things to Do:

Given his (both Ren/[Redacted]'s) hacker occupation, he really loves modding the game! Dont worry about your switch being bricked, he's got you covered. He'll add in things ranging from old villagers, to even new gameplay mechanics just to see what could happen. In regards to vanilla animal crossing, he really likes seeing what you're up to. He's the type to collect shells and flowers for you and leave them outside the house as gifts. Similar to Jack, he would probably melt through the floor if you left him something.

Favorite NPC's:

Flick would probably be one of his favorites. He's so cool! Just look at him! Another favorite would be Kicks because of how cute he looks, and because he can buy you stuff from him lol.

#shitpost #sunny day jack #swwsdj #somethingswrongwithsunnydayjack #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #headcanon #sdj jack #john doe horror game #john doe visual novel #john doe #14 days with you #14dwy ren #14dwy redacted #14dwy #my dear hatchet man #mdh #mdhm alan #mdhm game #alan orion #animal crossing new horizons #im not mentally stable

[911lonestar911imagines]

The Captain and his 'Captain' - Owen Strand x Reader

Summary: After icing you out, captain Strand decides to have a rather intimidating conversation with you in the kitchen

Warnings: Implications of future smut, making out, Owen being hot asf

You and Owen had been roommates for awhile, after a fight with your brother, Judd, you moved out, quickly finding your way to Fire captain Owen Strand, and you guys definitely hit it off as friends.

You had lived with him for about three months before he started avoiding you, harshly. As soon as you'd leave your bedroom you'd hear him rush out of the house quicker than he would during a fire. It hurt, but you didn't feel a need to say anything, it wasn't like he was your boyfriend or anything.

"Y/nnnn, So what's going on with mystery man?" Carlos asked, you two hadn't really been close but after he arrested you one time for being way too drunk, you guys started talking whenever Tk was busy working. "He's been giving me the cold shoulder for weeks! It's not what I was expecting after I cook the man a full breakfast" You huffed crossing your arms huffing. "Mmm" Carlos hummed smirking "Could this man..possibly..have a name that rhymes with Bowen Krand?" He asked raising an eyebrow "Don't judge me, Carlos! He's four years older than me! and you have a thing for a Strand so you understand" You huffed looking him up and down judgmentally.

"Captain Strand, if you like the girl why don't you just tell her?" Tommy asked raising an eyebrow towards the fire captain as they walked back to their rigs "It's not that simple, I wanna marry her, Tommy, but every marriage I have just goes down the drain" He groaned as he put the axes back into the compartments "Owen" She said in the same tone she'd give her girls as if they were lying. "Tommy she made my favorite breakfast, my golden milk, and got my running gear out before I ever woke up!" He yelled in shock "Oh you must be so smitten" She joked before stopping "Owen. Honestly, my advice is, if you like her...make her a nice meal, and tell her how you feel, you're Owen Strand, has anybody ever rejected you?" She joked, Owen smirked at her "Actually yea" He said crossing his arms "You're not gonna do anything I said are you?" She asked mocking his stance "Yeah" He smiled innocently, walking towards his office after finally getting the rig restocked.

You laid in bed, Carlos long gone, you were bored. Normally you'd be joking around and drinking with Owen and yet, not a sound in the house. Groaning as you got up, you decided to grab a snack before you got into the shower, as you approached the kitchen though, there stood your roommate. Shirtless and in sweatpants, attempting to make something on the stove. "Owen?.." You whispered careful not to scare him, he quickly turned around offering you a quick but soft smile. "Hey hun, how was your day?" He asked turning his back to you as he focused back on the stove "Boring..I guess..Owen, I don't understand why were you icing me out then all of a sudden you're happy to see me..." You asked walking around sitting on the counter, you weren't going to lie, being that close to a shirtless Owen made you nervous, very very nervous, but you needed to act cool.

"I promise I will explain all once dinner is ready" He smiled offering in response, you were a little disappointed at his answer but you tried to shrug it off "Did I do something wrong?.." You whispered nervously "What? No" He almost shouted grabbing your shoulders "Trust me if you did something wrong I'd tell you" He explained looking into your eyes, your stomach felt like you were doing a loop on a rollercoaster. "I'm-" He cut you off by the dinging of his timer "Dinners ready!" He smiled excitedly as he pulled dinner out of the oven. You stayed on the counter watching him cut and plate the food, watching every muscle of his flex and tense as he moved. Owen turned around ready to tell you to sit down, but stopped whenever he caught you staring, not even stopping whenever he caught you. That's whenever he got not only a boost of confidence but also a boost of cockiness to him, just by your stare.

"Ya know Y/n..It's rude to stare at man whenever he's making you a meal" He sassed leaning back against the counter, using the edge to purposely grab and flex his biceps while eyeing you down, trying to use any intimidation tactic came to mind. You froze feeling your body go hot in embarrassment, and that feeling was back in your stomach "S-Sorry I was in my hea-" he cut you off again by taking a few steps towards you "Don't lie, Y/n you're one of the worst liars I've met, and I caught you staring an extra minute after I caught you" He stated sternly, maybe you had pissed him off? or maybe just maybe..he had a thing for you too?

"I'm sorry I-if I made you upset" You started but he shook his head "Don't apologize" He said, his tone lowering, you took in a shaky breath watching him walk closer towards you. "Owen..." You said softly watching him closely as he got into arms length of you, resting his arms on the counter tops next to you "I won't hurt you" He whispered, stepping between your legs looking into your eyes. Holy shit. You were turned on, more than you had ever been before, he looked so damn hot, and you were trying your best to hide it, but the way he was looking into your eyes made you feel like he knew every thought you were thinking.

You felt his breath against your lips as he leaned closer "This is okay, right?" He asked calmly, almost like he wasn't making you a melting mess on his kitchen counter tops. You took a soft sigh nodding as you felt his lips brush against yours before feeling his hands sneak up around your waist. Owen had his own anxieties, especially with Mateo accidentally walking in on you two having a stare down one night and ruining the tension.

You yelped as you were suddenly in the arm, wrapping your arms around Owen's shoulders tightly almost like you were a cat about to be put in a bathtub. "Don't drop me, you crazy ass!" You gasped wrapping your legs around him tightly watching and feeling him jerk down a little bit. You looked at him, eyes wide as you felt a certain bulge in his sweats, now understanding his movements a moment ago. "I won't let you get hurt" He grunted holding you closer to his bare chest as he dropped you a few feet above his bed watching you bounce on the mattress.

"Don't want, Mateo walking in" He whispered before kissing you deeply, you could feel his hands next to your head, holding himself above you. You let your hand roam in his hair, which was unsurprisingly soft, while he pulled away from your lips leaving a small hickey on your jawline. You gasped starting to laugh smacking his chest "I have to watch Charlie tomorrow! If Judd sees that he's gonna know I was doing something with you" You laughed, watching him pull away to smile at you "You're so beautiful" He whispered, caressing your cheek gently "Owen..You never explained why you were icing me out" You said softly, playing with his hair, wrapping it around your finger "I...well..I realized I liked you..and I took in account my past..marriages that didn't end well, so I didn't want to risk it" He explained almost like a kid getting in trouble and having to explain what they did wrong.

You smiled rolling your eyes as your heard the front door shut "I'm home, Cap! Just getting some clothes to go to Nancy's!" You heard him call out, Owen looked at you in shock and fear, almost like he was worried what Judd would actually think. "Just shut up and kiss me, captain" You joked pulling him back down to your lips by the back of his neck, he laughed against your lips, rolling over on his bed to where you were straddling him "Better for my...uh..for my..back" He said, trying to find an excuse "Mhmmmm sure, Strand" You laughed kissing down his jawline trying to keep your smile hidden.

#Owen strand x reader #carlos reyes #mateo chavez #owen strand #owenstrand #owenstrandxreader

[broflovski-brah]

Please let me know if this is too weird..but what do you think the guys would smell like? LOL not in a creepy way but in like a general scent/fav cologne type way. So many fics describe Kyle as smelling like vanilla and I just don’t get that? He is a sandlewood-pine guy to me. I think Stan would be specifically the charcoal scent from old spice and weed. Idk it just fits him. Kenny is axe body spray and cigarettes for sure. Cartman has some expensive scent like sauvage that he scammed someone into giving him for free

Lol, not weird at all!

Everyone says Cartman would smell like body odor and cheesy poofs but y’know what? ai don’t see that. His mom taught him good hygiene. And also I feel like he’s into stuff like soaps and perfumes. If anything Cartman would smell like vanilla. He would either smell like some weird as soap like ‘cotton candy mango bliss’ or he would smell like a vape because he probably wears perfume/has all these fruity ass soaps he loves.

Stan would smell like Axe to me. He would probably be that one fucker in the locker room who douses himself with Axe because he wants to cover the smell of weed from his father’s farm. He probably has a little hint of like…burning smell because I feel like he would smoke in high school. He smokes cigarettes tho, none of the newer stuff.

Kyle has always smelled like pine to me ngl. Maybe it’s because pine is one of my favorite scents but like…I dunno. He just strikes me as the kind of guy who would smell like pine. Probably because he likes to go for runs (in high school at least, I don’t wanna hear the “B-BuT hE sAiD hEs NoT OuTdOoRsY!’ that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t like…run outside? But yeah. He smells like pine because he runs around in the forest for exercise. He would probably also smell like his mom’s cooking ngl.

Kenny…he would honestly smell pretty bad ngl. Cigarettes, burning wood, motor oil, body odor, chemicals from cleaning dishes…it’s one hell of a smell. I feel like once his friends start noticing that like…he can’t afford to shower, he would be brought over to either Kyle or Butters’ homes. They probably end up buying him whatever soap he wants. He gives me the vibe that he would like citrus smells. So Id say his early teenage years when hes working like eight jobs, he would smell like the things listed before. After that into his later years he kinda smells more like citrus and burning wood.

Thanks for asking, anon!

#i seriously love getting anon asks like this #i love hearing your headcanons #also we all know why kyle smells like vanilla in fics lol #south park #skipper speaks #eric cartman #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #south park headcanons #asks #anon

[sorry-octopus]

There’s a LOT to talk about regarding the qsmp dinner. The first thing I will say is that it instantly has become one of my favorite lore streams. 

The first thing I want to talk about is Elquackity. I watched his pov and am gonna work on watching others. The big thing Elq did was during his speech, where he said he has turned against the federation and wants to burn them to the ground. Immediately, I think this is a lie. I think Elquackity is simply trying to gain trust. He is more and more trying to seem like the normal Quackity. And then the codes attacked.

The timing of the attack is what gets me. It is immediately after Elquackity’s speech. Maybe they did it then because it was the last speech. Maybe it had something to do with his or others' speeches. But it was crazy. We also know now that there is at least one other code! This attack is scary because we also know now that the reason why the code(s) were taking photos of the eggs was to mimic their behavior. I think the reason for the codes appearing more corrupted had to do with them transforming. This is likely just the first time the codes will mimic the eggs. It can happen at any other time.

The battle was sooo cool like omg. Etoiles and Phil POPPING OFF I LOVE IT SM AGGGJHHHODSHDJHD

But were they targeting Etoiles? Why did they keep teleporting everyone out of the area? They killed Gegg which is really sad so RIP Gegg. Also, seeing the message in chat that Philza was killed by Chayane was terrifying. And then seeing that the real Chayanne and Tallulah witnessed this happening. Oh my god guys. Phil killing the code with the CODE BREAKER axe. It was all so good. 

Then after the fight when Slime confessed he was Gegg, Elq talked to him and whispered to him to help him win the election. I find this very interesting. Also, it kind of proves that Elquackity was lying earlier, because who else would the people he knew be aside from the Federation? I’m really interested to see where this goes.

I also wanna talk about the Elquackity and Maximus fight. I was able to follow along with what they were saying with the translator, and I was so invested like omg. I was really expecting someone to get killed, so I was surprised when Elq teleported away. Can you imagine if Maxo killed him? That would have been actually insane. 

And then Tazercraft got kidnapped so yeah!!! What a day am I right!!!!!! This was so awesome and I can’t wait to see what the admins cook up next 👍

#qsmp #qsmpblr #qsmp posting #qsmp theory #qsmp elections #qsmp dinner #elquackity #maximus #qsmp elquackity #qsmp maximus #qsmp philza #philza #qsmp eggs #qsmp code monster #qsmp federation #qsmp tazercraft