#batfamily posts

[violent138]

Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.

Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"

"Why Clark, we need a machine--"

"Run along now."

Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*

#saw a post about clark being super useful that inspired this one #when they see superman on tv they're like wow i wonder who that nice well behaved boy could be #smallville #superman #clark kent #superman headcanons #dc comics #batfamily

[redactedrem]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

#I have more ideas in my head #but I didn't want to make the post too long #might repost later #might write a small fanfic off of this #I actually don't have life360 but my friend does and I'm basing this off of how she interacts with her mom #batfamily #batfam #headcanon #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #cardinal tim drake #stephanie brown #spoiler

[bruciemilf]

“Bruce wouldn’t call his kids any cutesy nicknames y’all are cringe” first of all Bruce canonically refers to children as “honey” and “sweetheart” as BATMAN, so, close your mouth, monster breath

Second of all, Thomas Wayne called him everything from “Bunny, honey, sweetheart, baby, bambino, sweetie” to “Gumdrop, honeybee, amore, babe, “ and you can die trying to take it away from me

#text #baby bruce #bruce wayne #batman #thomas wayne #dc #dc comics #text post #batfamily

[the-batgirl]

Nightwing (2016) #112

#bruce wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #batman #batfam #batfamily #tuesday spoilers #comic spoilers #comic panels #dc comics #my post

[arkanaea]

#this is a post about my dear friend and mutual who won't shut up about the robins #Everything I know about the robins has been picked up via osmosis #batman #robin #dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #batfamily #nightwing #red hood #red robin

[avensartt]

Sorry the quality is shit

#i saw this on pinterest #but it was a tumblr post #and I couldnt find it #but here you go #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #tim drake wayne #red robin #dc #batfamily #incorrect batfamily #batfam shenanigans #batfam

[weewoow-20706030]

I like to think that whenever Tim and Jason patrol together people call them Robin Hood.

Like-

*Tim and Jay waiting for police to arrest some goons*: ...

Police officer: Thanks for this Robin Hood.

And, even better, Tim and Jason don't care.

Jason: no sweat.

Tim: see ya around officer.

#tim drake #batfam #dc #red robin #batfamily #jason todd #red hood #I hope I truly convey what I mean through the the post

[allthegothihopgirls]

dick and jason are the WORST when the batfam goes to carnivals and fairs. every time they see a 'skill' game ,they're going back and forth:

"i'd so win if we played that one"

"nuh uh. i'd win"

until they decide that they just have to play to see who's better. and of course they need a judge (just in case someone cheats), so they drag someone else down with them.

jason almost always loses, because dick grew up around carnivals and fairs whilst in the circus. he knows all the mechanics of those rigged games. either way they're both incredibly seasoned at the games, and walk away with so many prizes they neither want or need.

#ok i have a few posts like this lined up so get ready #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #nightwing #robin #the robins #batboys #batfam #batfamily #dc batman #dcu #dc comics #dc #gothihop speaks

[dragonpyre]

Jason: foster care is just government sanctioned kidnapping

Dick: wait no, you’re right

Tim: that’s why I made a fake uncle

Bruce, tired: no

#Batman #dc #Jason Todd #dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #batfamily #batkids #batbros #batsiblings #batfam #text post #incorrect quotes

[frownyalfred]

the thing about the bats is that they're never lacking pockets. belt compartment, suit pocket, random reinforced lining in a glove, you name it. they've got a million gadgets and items hidden away on their person at any given time. getting them through a metal detector is a nightmare. and it's not all weapons -- it's weird multi-purpose tools, fear toxin antidotes in little vials, different clips for the grapple lines, etc.

the average person looks at a batkid and thinks they have ten, maybe fifteen items on them max. supers with x-ray or magic see a whole car's worth of items carefully layered under the various armor pieces and belts. and somehow every single bat knows where every single item is at any time. just like their dad <3

#thoughts #batfamily #batfam #batkids #dc #dc comics #bruce wayne #batman #robins #bats and birds #i had that post about jason having severed fingers in his belt for evidence right #trying to remember

[violent138]

During Tim's early days, the principal called Bruce once to report that Tim had a lot of bruises.

Bruce, pretty sure he knows where this is going: "Well there's a reasonable explanation for this--"

Tim, kind of sheepish: "It's from the Bo staff."

Bruce, turning fully on the chair to look at him.

Tim, fidgeting a little: "I've been practicing kind of a lot with it recently."

Bruce, suddenly incredibly proud: "Yes," turns back to the suspicious principal. "He insists on getting into these really niche extra curriculars. For college."

Principal, looking between them: "Bo staff? What is that, exactly?"

Tim: "I can show you if you like? Do you mind?"

The principal shrugs and Tim steps out, returning with a broom.

He does a one handed figure eight spin and wipes the Principal's mug right off the desk, causing it to shatter on the floor.

Tim: "Oh shit."

Bruce, speaking over the principal, standing up: "Excellent, just loosen your grip a little more."

Tim, rolling his eyes: "It's a pretty basic move B, and you know it--"

Bruce, excited that Tim's taken an interest: "Just the beginning, tonight we'll practice some real moves, build your repertoire in defense and offense--"

Tim, grinning: "I'd like that, I've also been working on--"

Principal, clearing her throat: "I think I've seen all I need to see."

#Kind of a long one #Inspired by my unfun time with the calli sticks #Tim Drake #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Dc comics #Text post #3 am batposting #batfamily

[ghostwithaknife]

His only weakness…

#haven’t posted in a while #dc comics #dc fanart #dcu #robin dc #jason todd #red hood #batfam #batfamily #damian wayne

[bruciemilf]

Damian: Baba. I’ve acquired an enemy at the academy. He’s been ripping my drawings, teasing me about my lineage, and smearing your honor. I understand murder can’t happen. How shall I proceed?

Bruce: [Has a flashback of Thomas driving to his bully’s house, spiked brass knuckles on his hands, petting his head and smiling dangerously, ‘I’ll be right back, chum!’]

Bruce: …I’ll talk to his parents.

Damian: Todd?

Jason: Finally, an excuse to tackle a 10 year old.

#bruce: nO- #damian: then what do you propose we do!!! this beast knows no peace!!! #bruce: we buy his father’s company and make him take an unpaid internship. #damian: father!!! that is…inhuman. I praise you. #bruce wayne #damian wayne #jason todd #dc comics #dc #batfamily #incorrect quotes #batdad #bruce is very protective of his birdies pass it on #batman #text post

[arttuff]

brucie wayne is not immune to the sudden urge to hug his son

#dc comics #dc #batman #nightwing #bruce wayne #dick grayson #batfamily #batfam #he brings him to his chest so hard it's gonna give him a concussion #im feeling vulnerable and huggy. my files are all filled with sketches of batman hugging his kids rn #probably wont post any LOL #anyway dont tag with ship plz #animation

[qcomicsy]

Random convo I bet happen between civilians and vigilantes

Civilian: What hair product do you use man?? My man's hair is shiiiiining

Nightwing, chuckling: I just let it dry (lying)

Civilian: Naaaah, man I see you jumping from rooftop to rooftop everyday, tell me your secrets–

---

Gothamite: And who's gonna pay for this scratch on my car?!!!

Robin (Tim), trying damn hard to stay stealth: Don't you have insurance?

Gothamite, don't giving a fuck: No!

Robin: You should have–

Gothamite: You know what? HEY TWO-FACE–

Robin: No, no, no– Hold on–

Gothamite: HE'S RIGHT HE–

---

Gothamite: Okay- Cannabis is very much legal in L.A.

Batman: We're not in L.A.

Gothamite: Yeah that's funny because– *runs*

Batman: *Runs after him.*

---

Gothamite: See I don't hate you

Signal: Always good to hear that–

Gothamite: You doing a pretty good job.

Signal: I–

Gothamite, also a bus driver: But you gotta stop being thrown at my window–

Signal: I don't control where villains throw me.

Gothamite: Yeah bro– But you better start, otherwise there's gonna be one more out there–

---

Gothamite, also a security guard on his phone at 3 am: Yeah, no honey it's literally desert here–

Gothamite: HOLY SHIT

Batman:

Gothamite: Fucking warn a guy, mY GOD–

---

Gothamite: I thought you were taller.

Nightwing: I heard that a lot.

---

Gothamite: How do you see on that thing?

Batgirl (Cassandra):

Batgirl: I don't.

Gothamite, terrified: Oh okay–

---

Batman: Shouldn't you be at home?

Gothamite, who's also a teenager very much snicking out at four am: Shouldn't you mind you business?

Batman:

After being forcefully driven to home on the batmobile

Gothamite That was really unecessary–

---

Gothamite: Are you alone??? Where'd your dad? Where's Batman?

Robin (Tim Drake, early days): Batman's not my dad.

Gothamite:

Gothamite: See now I'm concerned.

Robin: Oh no–

Gothamite: What's is this a internship...? A job...?

Robin: You know what? Yeah, Pretty much.

Gothamite: Really? Oh okay, okay. I'm less concerned– Because–

Robin: Yeah I can see–

Gothamite: Like "is he kidnaping those children"?

Robin, chuckling: No, no–

Gothamite: You get paid?

Robin: Not really.

Gothamite: I'm back at being concerned–

---

Gothamite, from her window: Have you eaten yet?

Robin (Dick): No– (lying)

Gothamite: Oh, the poor child– Oh shame on you

Batman:

Gothamite: The poor kid– You're dragging him alone with you to fight crime on a empty stomach?

Batman:

Batman: I–

Gothamite: Unbelievable. I expected more on you– Hold on sweety I'll see If I have some cookies here to give you.

Dick: :)

---

Robin (Damian): Do I look like a fucking child?

Gothamite: Do you want me to answer that?

---

Old Gothamite being around the city since Batman year 1: You sound different.

Batman (Dick Grayson): No I don't.

Gothamite: Yes you do–

---

Gothamite: She looks different.

Gothamite: Mark is the same girl.

Gothamite: No honey, she looks different, she's was taller

Gothamite: Honey you're being paranoid.

Gothamite: She was a red-head!

Gothamite: Oh, Mark. Now the girl can't even dye her hair? Just because she's a Super-hero? Por girl can't even reinvent herself and people on this city start saying she's a different person?! Let her be! Her life must've be hard enough–

Gothamite: Jennet I swear to God that's not the same girl–

Batgirl (Stephanie), just trying to get some information:

Gothamite: You never notice when I change my hair–

#batfam #batfamily shenaningans #Nightwing #Batman #& #Robin #(kinda) #Batgirl #Batgirl Stephanie Brown #Batgirl Cassandra Cain #The Signal #The signal dc #Signal #Signal dc #long post

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce Wayne is the kind of guy who would rent out a theater to see his daughter perform but won't pay for Spotify Premium

#bruce wayne #batman #cassandra cain #orphan #batfamily #batfam #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #dc comics #wayne family adventures #webtoon #headcanon #batposting #shitpost #text post