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#incorrect batfamily
Damian: Someone in my family killed my dog!!!
Bruce: [looks at Dick]
Dick:[Looks at Duke]
Duke:[Looks at Tim]
Tim:[Looks at Jason]
Jason: No fair, I have no one on my left to look at!
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arguablysomaya · a month ago
batboys are literally just like: *watches their older brother lie, manipulate, and keep secrets from his team* oh my god... i'd never do that... he's so much like bruce...... *goes off to lie, manipulate, and keep secrets from his own team*
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jaydickincorrect · a month ago
Bruce: Jason gave me a “Get well soon” card.
Dick: Aww, that’s so nice of him!
Tim: Wait, when were you even sick? You were patrolling the whole week.
Bruce: I wasn’t.
Jason: I just thought he could be better. In general.
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bikoncon · 10 months ago
Bruce: Would you jump off a bridge if the Team pressured you into doing it?
Tim: Bruce, with all due respect, my mother gave birth to a leader. An innovator. A pioneer.
Tim: I’m the first one off the fucking bridge
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anothertimdrakestan · 7 months ago
bruce: damian you CANNOT have another animal!
damian: this baby emu needs saving father it's a critical disservice to leave it here alone!
bruce: god what is it with you can taking in strays
jason: *chokes on laughter*
bruce: ?
tim: apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it *gestures to the 12 batkids all staring at their adoptive father*
damian: i think it fucking does, i would have never taken you in drake
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Bruce: You’re wasting your life.
Jason: I am not. What you call wasting, I call living. I’m living my life.
Bruce: OK, like what? No, tell me. Do you have a job?
Jason: No.
Bruce: You got money?
Jason: No.
Bruce: Do you have any action at all?
Jason: No.
Bruce: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?
Jason: I like to hate you.
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Dick: Pretty sure that’s illegal, Jay.
Jason: Pretty sure I’m a criminal, Dick.
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nananabatfam · a month ago
Damian: *sets the kitchen on fire*
Tim, panicking: Where’s the responsible adult ??
Damian: He’s asleep on the couch.
Jason: Don’t worry guys, I got this. Hand me a bucket of water.
Jason: *dumps water on Dick* wake up dumbass, the kitchen’s on fire.
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adazzlingsakura · 2 months ago
*In the middle of an argument*
Damian: Todd, you have no idea what I'm capable of.
Jason: Don't take it personally, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake.
*A few minutes later*
Jason: *bleeding out on the floor*
Tim and Dick: ಠ_ಠ
Bruce: Sorry, How did you get stabbed again?
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advena-perditus · a month ago
Alfred: You look sick Master Jason
Jason: Aww thanks Alfie~
Alfred:*sigh* Ah I forgot, You're a punk
Alfred: Yo yo yo Young Master J, You're looking physically unwell
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bikoncon · 2 months ago
Dick, parking the Bat-Mobile: B, am I straight?
Dick: I mean like my parking job
Bruce: Oh yeah you’re fine
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