#incorrect batsibling quotes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cardinalcheerio · 5 months

Text

Jason: Hey Bruce, have you ever heard of the sacred art of shutting the fuck up?

1K notes · View notes

dead-sane-stuff · 10 months

Text

Batsis: you guys, I just bumped into Damian's Mom on the way over here.

Damian: WHAT!? Are you Insane?

Batsis: nah, Bruce had me tested.

2K notes · View notes

incorrect-waynemanor · 1 year

Text

jason: remember, when you bury a body

jason: cover it with endangered plants so it's illegal to dig up

duke: is this advice or are you telling me you did this?

724 notes · View notes

vodrae · 6 months

Text

Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

31K notes · View notes

goodoldfashionedengineer · 2 months

Text

The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

9K notes · View notes

firerose18991 · 6 months

Text

Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet. They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

#Enough on Tim #let's talk about why Bruce doesn't age #bro has three adult children 10 years younger than him #and HE WAS A HIGHSCHOOL DELINQUENT #bruce wayne #batfam headcanons #batsiblings #batboys #batkids #batdad #incorrect batfamily quotes #nightwing #red hood #tim drake #damian wayne #batman #justice league #chaos shit #with love my loves

12K notes · View notes

incorrectbatfam · 7 months

Text

[at Jason's funeral]

Dick: *places his hand on the headstone and sobs*

Dick: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

#source: tumblr #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #robin #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw death mention

14K notes · View notes

nightwolf14292 · 22 days

Text

I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

5K notes · View notes

dragonpyre · 2 months

Text

Jason: foster care is just government sanctioned kidnapping

Dick: wait no, you’re right

Tim: that’s why I made a fake uncle

Bruce, tired: no

#Batman #dc #Jason Todd #dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #batfamily #batkids #batbros #batsiblings #batfam #text post #incorrect quotes

5K notes · View notes

ryemiffie · 1 month

Text

More stuff from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Batman: I would never betray you!

Red hood, pointing at Tim: Then what's that?!

Tim: ...

Batman: A complication.

Red hood: A complication?! It's a child!

Batman: Well I see that!

Tim, talking to Jason: Oh you don't have to be offended, he doesn't know how I got here.

Red hood:

Batman: I don't!

Tim:

Red hood:

Batman: It's actually kinda unsettling, how did you get here?

Tim: I followed the voices.

Batman: Oh, I didn't realise we were being that loud.

Tim: No no, not your voices, the voices.

Red hood:

Batman:

Red hood: should we be worried or-

3K notes · View notes

shyjusticewarrior · 3 months

Text

Jason: As your favorite Robin-

Tim: Dick's my favorite Robin.

Jason: As your favorite Robin-

4K notes · View notes

cardinalcheerio · 7 days

Text

Jason upon first meeting dick in his discowing erra:

Jay: Nice haircut

Dick: Thanks!

Jay: did you get it at The BB's?

Dick: the who?

Jay: The Blind Barbers.

126 notes · View notes

dead-sane-stuff · 1 year

Text

Y/N: just remember this Deathstroke, what comes around, is ALL around !!!

Dick and Damian: ...

Slade: Dont you mean what goes around comes around?

Y/N : .... YOUR NOT GETTING THE LAST WORD IN.

855 notes · View notes

incorrect-waynemanor · 1 year

Text

duke: i dare you-

bruce, passing by: tim is not allowed to accept dares anymore

duke: why not?

tim, air quoting the first part: “i have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

duke: oh

duke, whispers: i dare you to-

bruce, in the other room: NO DARES DUKE!

593 notes · View notes

vodrae · 3 months

Text

Jason: Man I was born in the wrong era

Barbara: Oh ? Where would you go ? Roman Empire ? Golden Age of pirates ?

Jason: Far West, when you'd be a hero by shooting bad guys.

Barbara: Jason !

Steph: Y'know, you ain't a tree. You can move. Kidnap rogues and kill them in countries without proper justice system.

Barbara: Stephanie !

Tim: Or you just could go to the no man's land in Yellowstone park or the four corners.

Barbara: Timothy !

Dick: Quite frankly if you drop Joker's body in Bludhaven we won't waste time on it.

Barbara: Richard !

Damian: There would be an investigation only if there is a body.

Barbara: Damian !

Cassandra: Cassandra !

6K notes · View notes

goodoldfashionedengineer · 3 months

Text

Dick: *posts a video consisting of multiple clips to social media, in which Jason is seen sitting in a chair, reading something on his phone*

---

Jason: *widens his eyes and leans forward, gripping one of the chair arms*

Jason: No, the fuck, he didn't?!

Jason: That's not something he would say, but fine.

Jason: *blinks a few times* *looks up* *stares at his phone again* *blinks again* *raises his eyebrows*

Jason: *lies his phone aside, grips his hair while he paces around the room, clearly suppressing a scream*

Jason: I know I sometimes turn into a masochist when it comes to reading, but this is on a new level, even for me

---

Tim: *walks into the frame and takes Jason's phone away*

Jason: Give me back my pho-

Tim: YOU READ BATFAMILY ON AO3?!

7K notes · View notes