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dead-sane-stuff · 9 months

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Just Batfam tingz pt 2 ft: batsis. Or bro 🤷

Jason: I dont wanna talk about it

Dick: You sure? I'm a pretty good listener

Jason: Then why didn't you hear me say I don't wanna talk about it

Source: Young Sheldon

______

*On a mission*

Tim : if this works then this will be the best day of my entire life

Y/n : damn, your life must really suck.

Source : regular show

______

Bruce: Wait you all read (Y/n)'s diary?

Tim : Yeah

Jason: Uh huh

Damian: *Tsk*, what I can stomach

Dick: Oh I just skim through it, to make sure they're not on drugs.

Bruce: W-What does it say?

Dick: It's says "I am not on drugs"

Source: Bob's burgers

____

Bruce : (Y/n) sometimes life is hard

Y/n : Bruce sometimes you're a piece of shit.

Source: trailer park boys

____

*Red Hood on the News *

Red hood: Yep it was tough, but I can't take all the credit I had a little help from two others.

*Nightwing and (Y/n) in the background*: 😀

Red hood: from my left gun and my right gun 🥰

*Nightwing and (Y/n) in the background*: 😑

Source: bob's burgers

_______

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sistertotheknowitall · 2 months

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Danny is Some Guy being followed

Part three? I guess, cause apparently it’s not content to stay in my head. Part One, Part Two

To say Danny was awake when he fist met these guys would be true, but to say he was fully aware would be a lie, and to live in Gotham one needed to be constantly aware.

If not, they would end up in this exact situation. Being stalked by vigilantes.

Him, Danny “Phantom” Fenton, Ghost King of the Infinite realms, was being constantly followed by a vigilante family. At least Danny assumed they were a family after hearing Red Hood call Nightwing “little brother.” (“I’m older than you.” “Yeah but you’re shorter.” “That’s not how that works!”) Also there was a child and at least three teenagers running around in spandex and armor. If they weren’t a family Danny wasn’t half-dead.

Anyway, Danny was pretty-sure they were watching him. His only guess as to why, well it started with a comment he made when slightly delirious. Because on that night when he was awake but not really, he called Batman the the fury-vigilante. In front of who the young king now realizes might be the bat’s son.

Danny understands that it might have been embarrassing but also it was just a comment and not even an original one! A lot of people called him that! And sure, not always to his face but still it could not have been his first time hearing it.

So Danny saw it as unnecessary to send out his army of (admittedly nice) children to harass Danny whenever they could. It was getting old and they always looked at him as if he was the odd one. Which he was but they didn’t know that. Like, Danny is just trying to get to where he needs to go, you people are the ones squaring up to random thugs on a school night.

Not that Danny didn’t appreciate the constant rescues, but he knew the life of a teenage vigilante and it wasn’t an easy one. Danny had a list of regrets and the scars to prove it. Hell, Baby Ninja looked younger than Danny when he first started.

In the first month of being shadowed Danny was sure he had met all of Batman’s children, either by rescue or confrontation. (How was he supposed to know he wasn’t allowed near that wearhouse?) He decided that Red Robin and Signal were his favorites, they spoke to him as a fellow person. Dickwing was his least favorite. After the incident with the Fenton anti-creep stick and four creeps, Dickwing started to lecture Danny on self-preservation and “being too young to put himself in that kind of danger.” Danny had stared pointedly at Baby Ninja on the fire escape (not that Dickwing noticed.)

Danny didn’t really now what their goal was, so far outside the three a.m. gun fights, the hypocritical lectures, and Baby Ninja’s prickly nature, the Batkids weren’t so bad. Still Danny wasn’t going to tell them his name. Hello? they were following him. Yes they were vigilantes but they were also stalkers and Danny had rights.

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superbat-love · 10 months

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Dick: Alright, guys! Post-mission inspection. You know the drill.

Groans and grumbles were heard but everyone dutifully lined up in a row.

Jason: Must we do this every night?

Bruce: We wouldn’t have to if you were all honest about your own injuries.

Clark: You’re not exactly the person who should be saying that, Bruce. You do the same thing.

Bruce: Do as I say, not as I do.

Clark flew down in front of them and used his eyes to carefully scan over each and every one of them.

***

Clark: You should get that knife wound on your thigh treated. You can’t hide it from me by standing like that, Damian.

Damian: Tis nothing but a scratch, alien.

***

Tim: My head has been hit tonight but I don’t have any concussion. Someone tried to stab me but his knife merely grazed my arm. Another guy punched my stomach but my armor absorbed most of the force from the blow. Based on these observations, I conclude that most of my injuries are superficial and therefore, there’s no cause for concern.

Clark: Hmm, your brain waves look normal. There’s some bruising on your stomach but luckily there’s no internal bleeding. You should really get that wound on your back bandaged though, Tim, you’re bleeding a lot.

***

Clark: Your shoulder’s dislocated, Jason, and that wound seems to be inflamed.

Jason: Oh, this? [Snaps his shoulder back into place] Meh, I’ve had worse. I’ll just clean this with alcohol. [pours the beer that he’s drinking onto the wound, ignoring Bruce’s outraged gasp] Voila, good as new.

***

Clark: All good, Dick. Clean bill of health!

Dick: Heh, no one’s fast enough to land a blow on me!

Jason: Check his head again, Superman. I think you may have missed something.

Damian: You wanna test that theory, Grayson?

Tim: The probability of that clean bill of health is decreasing as we speak.

Dick: Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

***

Bruce: That’s it, all of you report to the med bay. Now. Except Dick. His brain is fine, boys, so you can put your hands down.

Clark: Not so fast. I need to check on you too, Bruce. I can see your brain already calculating ways of escape.

Bruce: …Fine. Get on with it.

Clark:

Bruce: Clark?

Clark:

Bruce: Clark, are you done yet?

Clark: Beautiful

Cue the groans and sounds of retching in the batcave.

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honey-milk-depresso · 3 months

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Jason, Tim and Dick with an s/o who’s completely the opposite of them??

Requests open until 1 Feb (GMT 8+)! Please read the rules on my pinned post (provided the navi post link to go to rules). Thank you!🩷

Batboys with an s/o completely opposite of them

Dick Grayson

Dick is a very extroverted, active and optimistic individual while you’re very introverted, lazy (let’s all be real here-) and… well, he calls you a realist (because he doesn’t wanna call you a pessimist-).

The two of you have a rather funny dynamic between the two of you: Dick’s always the one dragging you out because you need “sunlight”.

“Come on, s/o! Let’s take a stroll! Gotta get that vitamin D!”

“Dick… it’s 8pm.”

“…” “You get the point, come on now-”

He’s just concern for your health because he loves you and doesn’t want you to just laze at home all the time, you know? And isn’t it nice to take a stroll with your boyfriend?? Come on now-

Dick’s always the one to cheer you up when you’re grumpy or sad (or both), and you’re always there to ground him back to reality when needed and he appreciates that.

Another thing to note is that he actually has poor communication skills when it comes to the relationship, and always feels like he’s a burden to share his problems. You, on the other hand, aren’t afraid to speak your mind and put a lot of trust in him when it comes to communicating challenges within your relationship with Dick and you encouraging him to put trust in you because he will never burden you because you love him honestly makes him admire you, and also fall in love with you even more.

It’ll take some time, not because he doesn’t trust you, it’s just because there’s that lingering thought of not wishing to burden you and also because old habits die hard but… slowly he’ll get there, and that’ll be the one thing you guys can be similar in.

For now, he loves his potato couch cutie (just stroll with him every once in a while at least-) <3

Jason Todd

Has no idea how he even managed to get you, because you’re everything he’s not.

He’s always so emotional, impulsive and jealous, while you’re so calm, rational and trusting in him even when he knows he’s got so much sin in him that he’s not proud of committing, and knows he can’t be forgiven for them at times.

Yet… you never saw that in him. You’ve always thought he’s someone compassionate, loyal and caring, and you love him even at his worse. He’s never thought of himself like that after you told him so sincerely and gently that he almost broke down and cried. You love him so much as much as he loves you it makes him feel so warm and comforted. He just feels so lucky to have you.

He kinda wishes he’s like you, because he’d always think it’s better to be anyone else but you’d tell him otherwise. Besides, it’s always opposites that attract.

He loves you with every fibre of his being, you’re like a second chance given to him. Well, not that he sees you as a way to feel better but he genuinely believes you’re an angel sent to him. Literally. But seriously, he loves you and he’ll try to be a little bit more calmer than let his anger get the best of him. You always can calm him down anyways.

You always told him that his compassion for you touched you, and that his warmth and love is something you’ve never had before from anyone, you make him feel so special, you know that? <3

Tim Drake

Tim’s… all sorts of things. He’s ambivert, more introvert-leaning, but he’s also poor in time management due to his workaholic nature and rather reserved in temperament.

And you were a lot more responsible and better in time management because you ACTUALLY do set limits for yourself than just doing EVERYTHING in one goal. You weren’t a control-freak like him, rather taking things slowly. Just like him, you’re an ambivert but more extrovert-leaning and you had a tendency of getting lost in your emotions, just being more sensitive than him in general.

Every time you try to drag him to bed, shower, eat, just take care of himself he gets a bit pouty every time you do this but he’s touched. You had to open his eyes to let him see that timetables exist, and open up his heart to let him know it’s okay to take a break. Breaks even. He deserves breaks.

Tim is always there to calm you down. You just get so worried for him every time he goes out for patrol because anything could happen to him in Gotham. He reassured you, kissing your forehead softly while you patch him up with a little bit of tears glossing your eyes and tells you he’s okay. He’s never really had people care for him so much to the point they cry which was why when he got a few minor cuts on his arms and torso, he panicked when he saw you cry so much. He makes a mental note to make sure he doesn’t come home too injured, but at the same time you always tell him he shouldn’t hide his pain from you. You just want him safe.

You two just blend well together, and he always feels like he can come to you when he feels troubled. And you can always go to him for comfort.

Bonus: You dragging Tim by his feet to go to bed while his coffee-drunk ass is sighing in defeat and lets you drag him away but smiled tenderly despite being tired. Sigh, fine. He’ll sleep, just for you. <3

Reblogs help! ^^

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usagi-t-suki · 1 year

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*tim's not out to his siblings yet*

batkids: *comes to the manor* what the...?

alfred:

(art by meruz)

batkids: hey alfie... what you got there?

alfred: oh hello, master/miss. i’m just ironing master timothy’s new bedroom decor that he bought

batkids: tim’s what that he what?

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batty-pham · 6 months

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Danny being new to the family and adjusting to the family dynamics: why does Bruce get all weird when you mention wally?

Dick: oh, because we're dating and he doesn't like that.

Danny, a closeted bisexual now worried that his new father figure is homophobic: oh-

Dick, shrugging, unbothered because his dad hates speedsters, not him dating men: it is what it is.

Danny, seconds away from a panic attack, spiraling about Batman finding out he's bi and kicking him out: it is what it is

#dick x wally #dp x dc #dpxdc #batfamily #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #batpham #danny phantom #batfam #batbros #this is my favorite flavor of the miscommunication troupe i swear #danny is just ready to accept hiding this part of himself bruce like how he hid his ghost half from the Fentons #just like “the fentons accepted my gay but not my ghost - it's just flipped here ...good to know-”#but no #bruce just hates wally #specifically

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epione-xx · 7 months

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The first time sharing the bed

I AM SO DELULU FOR THIS MAN. IM KICKING MY FEET AND SQUEALING HEHEHE

The first ever time you slept in the same bed as Damian, you swear you could feel your body shaking with excitement. You had the biggest grin on your face and you had to sleep away from him to ensure that well, you didn’t freak him out if he had woken up in the middle of the night and caught you staring with a creepy grin.

Luckily, He didn’t mind that you had to face the opposite, assuming that you were just a shy sleeper or maybe you slept warm. To try and make you more comfortable he had his own back to you and had easily fallen asleep within five minutes.

But you hadn’t followed him to the wonderful dream land.

So when he has rolled around, your breath went sharp and then stilled. Your phone light shone into your eyes but you didn’t dare move in fear of awakening him. Heart pounding in your chest and veins stinging with anticipation.

But when his arm wrapped around your waist and settled under your boobs and he pulled you to his chest- GIRL YOU COULD HAVE GONE INTO CARDIAC ARREST.

Out of EVERYWHERE in this big bed, he had shifted closer to you! I mean, anyone else would have thought it was normal. You WERE his girlfined after all.

He was now facing the same way you were, and out of fear you had shut your phone off and then you opted to close your eyes. Taking calm breaths and hoping you would fall asleep.

But that didn’t work, so…yeah. Nice try, but then man was TOO MUCH.

#damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #batboys #damian wayne fanfiction #batfam #batfam x reader #damily #x reader #damian wayne smut #jason todd #damian al ghul #damian wayne x you #damian wayne imagine #damian wayne x female reader #damian wayne headcanon #batfam headcanons #batbros #batboys x reader

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babyyoda234 · 1 month

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Gotham is an environmental NIGHTMARE⚠️

This may be a really niche topic, but my degree is currently in Environmental science, so this is on my mind constantly.

Think about it:

The Joker is constantly messing with the air quality with his "laughing gas".

Poison Ivy's pheromones are definitely going to end up in the water supply.

Killer Croc lives in the sewers? Imagine having to deal with a sewer emergency and your boss goes "Dammit Waylon. Again?"

He's not even the only person who lives in the sewers canonically.

Bruce Wayne is constantly flying private. Don't even get me started on Batman and the Justice Leagues carbon emissions...

The Joker is constantly crashing planes/ cars into Gotham Harbor. You know that water is polluted beyond repair. Imagine having Aquaman step in because all the fish are in Gotham are dying...

Not to mention, Batman's rogues are constantly poisoning that water supply.

The Rogues' are also poisoning themselves by working out of old abandoned buildings that are riddled with asbestos....

On the topic of my girl Poison Ivy...

Can you imagine having this woman in class? Freshman year she teaches the hardest intro level botany course offered. You spend every week going to her office hours hoping to pass her class, then a decade later she is bullying you for not remembering the exact equation for photosynthesis while you clean up the mess SHE MADE. The drama.

Might write a fan fic about this in the next couple months. Comment if you would be interested!

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roses-r-rosie3 · 4 months

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X-Mas list presentation

Batfam x M!Reader

Summary: instead of making a regular Christmas wishlist, the reader decides to make a whole presentation

Quote: “That is all Family! So open up your hearts and your wallets for me this holiday season”

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Why are you here?” Duke asked Jason.

“Same reason why you’re here, y/n wanted us to all meet up in the living room for some announcement” Jason sighed.

After everyone was in the room, you pulled out your computer and connected it to the Tv, which made everyone confused.

“Hello family, I know you must be wondering why you’re all here” you said.

“Yes”

“Yup”

“Mhm”

“Yeah”

“Can I go back to my game now?”

“Last year you guys totally fucked up Christmas, so this year I put together an entire presentation to tell you guys what I want specifically” you smiled.

Everyone in the room let out an audible sigh/groan. It was known by everyone in the family that you were very dramatic from time to time (24/7). But they never thought you would get this extra!

“Is that really what you called us here for?” Damian grumbled.

“Would you shut up for a second?” You snapped.

“Y/n I don’t think that’s how you should be talking to your little bro-”

“Anyways, Here’s the things you should keep in mind when you’re thinking about what kind of gift you will provide for me this year” you said as you interrupted Bruce from his lecture.

“First of all, I’m the only one who knows how to reset the Wi-Fi, and yeah that’s threat” you threatened.

That certainly got everyone’s attention.

“Secondly, if you don’t get me what I want I will get a sugar daddy, I don’t even care what you guys are going to say, I’ve had so many offers for sugar daddies that it’s unreal. The perks of being son of Bruce Wayne I guess” you said.

“Y/n, you do know that Bruce is rich right?” Jason asked.

“Not the point” you mumbled.

“And third if I don’t get what I want, I will also sell my feet pics online like I did last year” you said calmly.

“YOU WHAT?!” Bruce shouted

“Calm down, I only ended up making about 1 million from it” you sighed.

“ONLY?!” Dick gasped.

“I created a three tier system of different gifting levels, basically, the levels equivocate to how much you love me and how much money you have” you explained.

“Level one is the ‘I’m going to need therapy level’ which is only four to seven gifts. I would probably go into a depressive spiral, actually not probably, I definitely would be depressed” you said.

“Would you stop being so overdramati-”

“I’M NOT DONE YET” you said as you interrupted Tim.

“What would that mean for us? You may ask. It would mean that you would have to pay for my therapy. And the money that you guys spent on therapy would have been basically wasted, you could’ve bought me a whole bunch of gifts right now and avoided the situation” you smiled.

“I think that he’s lost his mind” Bruce whispered to Stephanie.

“You think?!” Stephanie whisper yelled.

“Level two is the ‘You’re getting warmer package’ This basically if you love me- Bruce can you stop whispering to Stephanie” you scolded.

“As I was saying… Level two is eight to fifteen gifts, which is basically equivalent to you texting me happy birthday” you continued.

“Level three is the ‘You’re sleighing it’ level. And if you remember, you guys were just a bit off the mark of hitting this because you guys only got me twenty three gifts. And in order to reach ‘You’re slaying it’ you have to get me twenty five or more gifts, I think this is totally do-able for you guys, especially because you can just use Bruce’s card if you guys are running low on money” you said.

“I have tons ideas for you guys and this whole slideshow is already in your email so you guys can look at it and reference it at any time” you smiled.

Everyone quickly checked their phones to see that you indeed emailed them your whole presentation.

“That is all Family! So open up your hearts and your wallets for me this holiday season” you smiled before leaving the room.

“Yeah he had definitely lost his mind” They all said in synchronization.

“I HEARD THAT!”

#male reader #batfamily #batfam #batfam x reader #batfam x you #Batfam x batbro #batfam x y/n #batfam x male reader #jason todd x gender neutral reader #jason todd x male reader #dick grayson x gender neutral reader #dick grayson x male reader #bruce wayne x male reader #tim drake x male reader #tim drake x gender neutral reader #damian wayne x male reader #damian wayne x gender neutral reader #rosesrrosie3 #holiday special

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riotlain · 4 months

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Hi! Could you please do Batboys (sepretly) with a younger brother reader? Basically hcs of the reader copying and looking up to their brother, and he accidentally calls them dad (it's his first word)

Ty, have a great day or night!<33

im back in my fanfic era guys

didn't include duke bc i blanked when jt came to him😭😭

Dick Grayson

The minute you starts copying him he's over the moon and everyone else in the manor freaks out

No, you can't hang on the chandelier like he used to

He teaches you fun tricks though

You have your own little bō staff like his

Yes he has dressed you up in a Nightwing costume for halloween

Carries you around with one of those chest baby carrier things

If you were to ever call him dad as a first word his heart would stop

Like he's happy you said your first word but like he will make sure you don't call him dad around Bruce😭😭

Will crush the old man's heart (joke)

Jason Todd

Probably the last one to meet you since he's hardly ever in the manor

When he does see you though, he's immediately protective over you

Whenever you started copying him, he'd think its funny

How you cross your arms whenever he crosses his or sighs whenever he does it

He feels a wonderful kinship

Then you call him dad and he is immediately gone (mentally)

^^ His reaction

He is hardly ready to enter a relationship, much less be a dad

Even if you just see him once every blue moon

He just sorta picks you up and brings you to Bruce

"Thats your dada."

Tim Drake

Probably the second best brother to mimic out of them all since he's like pretty normalish

He has you sit on his lap while he works

You probably turned into an ipad baby cause of him

Also the type to carry you around with the chest baby carrier

You 2 nap together

When he you call him dad he just freezes up and stares at you for a moment

Then he panics and tries to get you to call Bruce dad instead

Damian Wayne

The first brother to meet you and of course he begins training you like how he was trained

Minute you began walking it was training time

Of course, you didn't really care but you had fun

Damian doesn't carry you around or anything but he holds your hand when you guys are in public

Especially at balls. He talks shit with you even though you hardly know any words

"Look at that woman over there flirting with father. How could she even think she has a chance with him?"

You:

If you were to call him dad, he would then lecture you with pictures about how Bruce is your dad and is very cool and how Batman is cool

Like a chump

#damian wayne #dc x reader #dc x male reader #dick grayson #dick grayson x male reader #dick grayson x reader #damian wayne x batbro #batbros x male reader #batboys x male reader #batfam x batbro #batfam x male reader #jason todd x male reader #tim drake x male reader

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dead-sane-stuff · 1 year

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Knock knock, let your new big brother in.

Chapter Warning: , anxiety ( reader is about 12-14 ) , and language

Summary: New to the manor and the real world, (Y/N) meets a tall stranger with a some white strands of hair.

Part 1

________

'This place is big' (Y/n) thinks. Oh wait not big. HUGE. Their heart beats rapidly just thinking of getting lost in this place. Even though this place is a Total upgrade from a bunker underground with nothing to do but sketch on the walls , it's scary. The bright lights from the glass candles make (Y/n) want to pass out. The long walking space makes them dizzy and standing at the top of the 'stairs' make their heart beat like scary fast.

It's scary to even look down from the top of the 'stairs'. The bunker didn't have stairs. Or bright lights, or big spaces with 'doors' big spaces away from each other. This is all new to (Y/n) and they're trying to adapt to a world they weren't sure was a thing untill like not to long ago.

It's was honestly a surprise to (Y/n) when someone wanted to 'adopt' them. They new nothing about the real world for one, they have never been to school, heck! , They didn't even know that many words!!!

If that wasn't enough, they stayed with a bad man for a week because they told (Y/N) they could 'trust' them. (Y/n) really needed a dictionary. And reading classes because they believed them. In that week (Y/n) ended up shooting 3 men in the red and blue machine. Yeah probably not (Y/n)s best moment. But at least they didn't stop breathing!!

Now it's dark and (Y/n) is still awake for specific reasons and is now thirsty. They debate drinking out of the sink faucet like last time but Mr Wayne's Butler (Alfred?) caught them and scolded them to drink the water out of a cup? " What's a cup?" (Y/n) question aloud. Then Alfred widened his eyes and guided them to the table gave them a plastic thing with the water in it and gave them a square this with scribbles in it. But alas, (Y/n) couldn't read.

So (Y/n) decided to get out of their bed and go down to the faucet in the 'kitchen' and get a 'cup' and pour themselves some water.

It's was dark so they didn't have to stare up as they walked down the steps. Though as dark as it was, walking down and up stairs were harder then a ladder in the dark so (Y/n) almost missed the first stair.

They walked down into the kitchen and turned the faucet on and grabbed a cup to get some water , poured it under the water and it filled it untill it was enough and put it to their "lower breather" (mouth) to drink. But when it goes in it burns. BAD

They scream and drop the cup.

And it breaks.

On their feet.

And they scream.

Even louder

(Y/n) tries to back up but the pain in their foot hurts too much they slip in the hot water and land on their butt with their feet lying in hot blood and even hotter water

Apparently (Y/n) wasn't the only one on that floor because someone else speaks which makes the scoot back into the wall

__

If Jason was correct no one should be at this shit house beside Alfred.

Dickhead was at Bluvhaven, Big Bat was out for patrol, replacement was with Duke visiting family, cass was In Hong Kong since he doesn't remember, and the demon spawn was with the titans....or superboy.. or his mother till next week.

He doesn't know honestly. He wasn't paying attention. But he knows this manor should be almost empty.

That's kinda the whole reason he's even here.

Good thing he snatched the Demon's spare keys to the door while he wasn't in the room. Bad things is next week he'll probably get stabbed. He's willing to take that chance.

He unlocks the door and walks in .

Lights off . Check ,

Alfred's apron folded neatly on the couch. Also check.

Jason walks over to the couch plops down and relaxes. He releases a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

Now Jason didn't wanna fall asleep right on the comfortable couch for various reasons. But he did anyway.

It's about an hour later when he jolts up mentally cursing to himself for falling asleep on the couch. He should really go to sleep in of the many guest rooms so Bruce doesn't bitch at him when he gets back. But he's to relaxed so he drifts off again.

He's about to go off to Dreamland when he hears someone scream and glass shattering. Fuck.

Get quickly but quietly gets up. Luckily he just got back from his own patrol so he's got his baby's still loaded and on his. He grabs one of his guns, cocks it and makes his way to the kitchen and stops by the doorway. God fucking damnit. Hes pretty sure he locked the door thank fuck. How'd they get over the gate. Plus the over the top security.

Jason sighs annoyed at being woken up for this shit "look, I don't know who the hells out there , but I better hear your footsteps leave or so help me this bullets gotta be in your brain fast , the flash is gonna be jealous of it. Jason shouts.

No response. "Fine" he grumbles "have it your way" he enter the kitchen. right away he spots glass. He smirks

He walks in the kitchen and points his gun "GOTCHA" he shouts. What he sees almost makes him pass out.

That phony 'criminal' break in just happens to be some fucking little kid , feet covered in blood and water that must have accidentally broken ..... A glass cup, staring back at Jason like he just put the fear of God into him.

"Fuck." Jason mutters

He is so screwed

Wadiya think should I do part two 😏🕺

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sis-does-simp · 9 months

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*breaking into Jason’s apartment*

Dick: Listen I know you said you didn’t take it but I just wanted to double check, are you sure you don’t have my-

*Sees Jason laying his head on y/n’s lap, wearing a purple fuzzy robe, hello kitty makeup band, and golden face mask, all while they’re watching 90 day fiancé and y/n is feeding cookies into his mouth*

Jason(with a mouthful of cookies): If anyone hears about this you’re dead.

*20 minutes later*

Dick: oh he is totally only in this for the money!

Y/n & Jason at the same time: it’s so obvious

#eventually everyone finds out #and they have weekly self care and reality TV nights #Jason’s grumpy that they interrupted his alone time at first but eventually he’s happy #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #Jason Todd quote #batfam #batfamily #incorrect batboys quotes #incorrect batkids #incorrect batbros #incorrect batfamily quotes

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superbat-love · 7 months

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Dick: Bruce, stop being petty and make up with Clark already.

Bruce: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Dick: Then why was Clark clutching his head in pain when he read your messages?

Bruce: I have always been perfectly polite and clear in my communications with him.

Dick: Uh-huh.

Bruce: …And I may have asked Jason to relay some of my messages to him for me.

Jason: [muttering while typing on Bruce’s phone] Hey hotshot sorry ctrn, bz kicking ass. Omw 2 location. Tell GL if he’s l8 ima ram a fist up his-

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incorrectbatfam · 2 months

Note

How's retail Steph doing during the Valentine's Day sales?

[restaurant]

Kory: *lovingly stares*

Barbara: *lovingly stares back*

Steph, who's been standing there for 2 minutes: ...I'll come back later.

———————

[grocery store]

Duke: Where do I find chocolates for my girlfriend?

Steph: Not at this store if you care about her.

———————

[drive-thru]

Steph: Welcome to Batburger, how may I help you?

Jason: We'll take the Harley and Ivy Couple's Combo.

Roy: And make the fries extra Jokerized.

Steph: Please go up to the window.

Jason and Roy: *drive up*

Steph: That'll be $23.51.

Jason: *pulls out a gun*

Steph: *sighs*

———————

[call center]

Steph: Wayne Enterprises account support, how can I assist you?

Damian: We would like to inquire about purchasing a toilet.

Jon: A skibidi toilet.

Damian and Jon: *snickering*

Steph: I'm telling Cass.

Damian and Jon: *hang up*

Steph: That's what I thought.

———————

[coffee shop]

Steph: What can I get you guys?

Tim: We'll take a large frappuccino.

Bernard: With two straws.

Kon, popping up out of nowhere: Make that three.

Bart, zooming in: Actually, four.

———————

[furniture store]

Steph: Need any help over here?

Dick: Yeah, what's your most durable mattress?

Steph: ...Durable?

Dick: Yeah, so Wally and I can both jump on it.

———————

[clothing store]

Renee: How does this dress look?

Steph: It looks great.

Kate: I think it'd be better on the floor.

Steph: I'm taking my fifteen-minute break.

———————

[at home]

Steph: Hey guys—

Steph: *walks in on Bruce and Selina*

Steph: *turns around*

Steph: Guess I'm working overtime today.

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delicatedarknight · 4 months

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Bruce: ok kids I'm going out on a date with Clark. behave yourself

[few seconds after Bruce left]

Jason: from today on I'm the king of this city. Bow down to me peasants

Tim: bow down huh? Come here let me bow down your head backwards

Jason: you dare to talk back to me, you imbecile. Our fight shall be worthy

Tim: let's meet in the ring, peasant

Damian: On one side we have our penny worth king and on the other hand we have a dime worth peasant. The fight shall begin

Jason: here you go peasant have this +2

Tim[smirking]: bow down to me. *Throws a +4*

Jason[grinning]: huh bow? To you huh? Now suffer

*throws 2 +4*

Tim[pulls out Jason's order history]: checkmate

Jason[laughing maniacally]: any last words? *Pulls out Tim/kon cute pics together*

[loud gasps audio]

Dick[in batman's cape]: order order silence in the court

Jason: your honor this villain has stolen my rightful place as the king.

Tim: objection you honor. It's all a lie. I'm the rightful king. I even have witness with me

Dick: present the witness

Damian[in specs]: your honor I'm Detective Wayne I would say they both are liars. *Removes the specs* it's I, I am the actual king, my lord

Bruce: no your honor, it's me. I'm the real king.

[loud gasps]

Dick[sweating]: haha the court declares Bruce as the king and is now adjourned.

Jason[silently walking away]: yea yea he is the kin-

Bruce[catching Jason]: now as the king, I shall hand over the decree

[collective tsks from kids]

Bruce: my dear subjects, from today on each Friday shall be 'Who dressed up as the best meme' war. The winner shall be awarded adequately.

Damian: it's not like we lack anything father

Bruce: the winner shall be awarded with Batman's affection

[collective screaming]

Jason: this time I shall win

Damian: dream on

Clark[outside window]: can I also participate?

[collective boos]

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thealtoduck · 3 months

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BatCat!Bro: In my neighbourhood there was a saying ”Love is just around the corner”…

Dick: *smiles warmly* That’s such a nice way to think i’ll keep that with me *Gets up and leaves*

Damian: *Looks at BatCat!Bro suspiciously* What’s the catch?

BatCat!Bro: I come from a neighbourhood with a lot of prostitutes…

#source: modern family #dick grayson x brother!reader #dick grayson x male reader #damian wayne x brother reader #damian wayne x male reader #batfam x male reader #batboys x male reader #batfamily x male reader #batfam x male!reader #batcatbro reader #batcat!bro reader #batfamily x batbro!reader #batfam x batcat!bro #dc comics x male reader

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