Random convo I bet happen between civilians and vigilantes
Civilian: What hair product do you use man?? My man's hair is shiiiiining
Nightwing, chuckling: I just let it dry (lying)
Civilian: Naaaah, man I see you jumping from rooftop to rooftop everyday, tell me your secrets–
---
Gothamite: And who's gonna pay for this scratch on my car?!!!
Robin (Tim), trying damn hard to stay stealth: Don't you have insurance?
Gothamite, don't giving a fuck: No!
Robin: You should have–
Gothamite: You know what? HEY TWO-FACE–
Robin: No, no, no– Hold on–
Gothamite: HE'S RIGHT HE–
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Gothamite: Okay- Cannabis is very much legal in L.A.
Batman: We're not in L.A.
Gothamite: Yeah that's funny because– *runs*
Batman: *Runs after him.*
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Gothamite: See I don't hate you
Signal: Always good to hear that–
Gothamite: You doing a pretty good job.
Signal: I–
Gothamite, also a bus driver: But you gotta stop being thrown at my window–
Signal: I don't control where villains throw me.
Gothamite: Yeah bro– But you better start, otherwise there's gonna be one more out there–
---
Gothamite, also a security guard on his phone at 3 am: Yeah, no honey it's literally desert here–
Gothamite: HOLY SHIT
Batman:
Gothamite: Fucking warn a guy, mY GOD–
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Gothamite: I thought you were taller.
Nightwing: I heard that a lot.
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Gothamite: How do you see on that thing?
Batgirl (Cassandra):
Batgirl: I don't.
Gothamite, terrified: Oh okay–
---
Batman: Shouldn't you be at home?
Gothamite, who's also a teenager very much snicking out at four am: Shouldn't you mind you business?
Batman:
After being forcefully driven to home on the batmobile
Gothamite That was really unecessary–
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Gothamite: Are you alone??? Where'd your dad? Where's Batman?
Robin (Tim Drake, early days): Batman's not my dad.
Gothamite:
Gothamite: See now I'm concerned.
Robin: Oh no–
Gothamite: What's is this a internship...? A job...?
Robin: You know what? Yeah, Pretty much.
Gothamite: Really? Oh okay, okay. I'm less concerned– Because–
Robin: Yeah I can see–
Gothamite: Like "is he kidnaping those children"?
Robin, chuckling: No, no–
Gothamite: You get paid?
Robin: Not really.
Gothamite: I'm back at being concerned–
---
Gothamite, from her window: Have you eaten yet?
Robin (Dick): No– (lying)
Gothamite: Oh, the poor child– Oh shame on you
Batman:
Gothamite: The poor kid– You're dragging him alone with you to fight crime on a empty stomach?
Batman:
Batman: I–
Gothamite: Unbelievable. I expected more on you– Hold on sweety I'll see If I have some cookies here to give you.
Dick: :)
---
Robin (Damian): Do I look like a fucking child?
Gothamite: Do you want me to answer that?
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Old Gothamite being around the city since Batman year 1: You sound different.
Batman (Dick Grayson): No I don't.
Gothamite: Yes you do–
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Gothamite: She looks different.
Gothamite: Mark is the same girl.
Gothamite: No honey, she looks different, she's was taller
Gothamite: Honey you're being paranoid.
Gothamite: She was a red-head!
Gothamite: Oh, Mark. Now the girl can't even dye her hair? Just because she's a Super-hero? Por girl can't even reinvent herself and people on this city start saying she's a different person?! Let her be! Her life must've be hard enough–
Gothamite: Jennet I swear to God that's not the same girl–
Batgirl (Stephanie), just trying to get some information:
Gothamite: You never notice when I change my hair–
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duke thomas and tim drake being close includes:
- some of the craziest your mama jokes gotham has ever heard
- their brothers genuinely losing their minds (duke keeps taking away their eyesight for seconds at a time so tim can shift everything around and gaslight them into thinking nothing happened)
- gotham is so quiet when they patrol together… too quiet (tim is an enabler to duke’s schemes. rogues are genuinely suffering)
- TIM BEING DUKES ROBIN. DUKE LOOKING UP TO TIM AND NOT SAYING ANYTHING. TIM KNOWING AND TAKING CARE OF DUKE.
- way too big house parties tbh they both have tons of friends and they keep having them all over at the same time so there will be 30 or so people over the manor every other week. it’s genuinely more chaotic and stressful than galas.
bonus angst insert here: tim was mad at dick for giving robin away to damian because tim meant to give robin away to duke. duke never even wanted to be robin (for reasons i can explain) he just wanted his brother, but tims ready to go on his gap year in hell, leaving duke behind in gotham, kind of like how tims parents used to leave tim.
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Dick: You killed a man Jason.
Jason: He was a cop!
Dick: I'm a cop!
Jason: And you're still alive!– Haven't scratched you in five years for being a cop, just for being asshole.
Jason: So knowing that you can see that regardless ocasional oopsies, it means that I am In fact doing better.
Dick: No it doesn't.
Jason: Yes it do!
Dick: Nu-uh
Jason: Uh-huh–
Dick: Nu–
Damian in the background, having to witness that bullshit: Wonder if I become a cop he will just take me out of my misery and fucking kill me.
Duke, next to him: I'll do it. Tim will do it for me when he eventually go super-villain, snap out and try to kill all of us.
Tim, right after him: Cool.
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