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jaspvids · 1 month

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The Diagnosis Of David

Disclaimer: I am by no means a mental health professional. This is just a meta-analysis.

What do we think of when we think of David?

His values of kindness. Optimism. Hope. Conviction. Passion. His drive to do his best every single day. The way he always makes an effort to reach out to others.

But also:

Attachment issues. People pleaser. Rose-colored glasses wearer. And at times, though the fandom doesn’t want to acknowledge it — Selfish. Unstable. Rude. Hypocritical. Kind of a dick.

See this video I made;

He’s complex, so let’s try to unpack him, and figure out what he’s got going on under that floof.

On David’s Childhood

David has been through a number of traumatic events in his childhood, most notably:

Witnessing Jasper fall to his near-death.

Finding Jasper, and being almost mauled by bears during the escape.

Clown school was apparently very bad, given the flashback-like reaction he had when it was mentioned. I’m unsure of his age when this occurred, however.

The fight with Jasper at the cave before they parted ways.

Losing Jasper. He says Cameron told him he was picked up by his parents, but I’m not convinced it’s not just his mind trying to erase painful memories.

As far as what we don’t necessarily see in the show, but can infer, David’s father was either not present or not great. He dreamt Cameron was his real father, as seen below.

And we all know Cameron is an awful father figure to begin with.

Yet, that’s better to David, apparently, than whatever he had at home. Which implies it was likely a pretty bad situation.

This can also be backed up by his attachment to the camp — growing up (and even now) it seems to be more of a home to him than his actual home.

That’s a home that hasn’t ever been mentioned, by the way. Contrary to Gwen, we know absolutely nothing about his family. He hasn’t talked about them once, if I recall correctly.

David is often open with emotions, if not wearing his heart on his sleeve. So why would he never mention his family and home?

We know why.

Even as an adult, he has retained this attachment to Cameron (who has in turn, continued to use this attachment to his benefit). He gets very excited about helping Cameron change in “keep the change” — because he needs to believe people who hurt him can get better. Otherwise, it’s too painful to bear.

The Loss Of Jasper

Part of his childhood, but significant enough to warrant its own section.

Jasper and David had a very interesting relationship. We’ve seen in the past that David was pessimistic, foulmouthed, and hot-tempered, directly compared to an optimistic, peppy, popular Jasper.

But then Jasper saw Cameron’s real self, and David received a modicum of praise for what was likely the first time based on his reaction. And so, they basically did somewhat of a switcheroo.

(David takes on many traits of Jasper after this experience, showing that he does admire him at the end of the day. I believe these traits are the foundation of David’s many masks.)

Despite the whole shebang, further episodes show us that they form a strong bond (or maintain one, we don’t know what happened before the first Jasper and David episode.)

What makes this friendship especially crucial in David’s development is that I believe Jasper was the first person to truly stand up for David.

David is, as we have seen, easily manipulated. Jasper picks up on this, and knowing Cameron’s just trying to use his best friend, tries to take Cameron down.

Jasper essentially died trying to protect David.

If Jasper hadn’t died, I don’t think David would have ended up as gullible and dependent as he is. If he had the more rational and realistic Jasper by his side during the rest of his developmental years, I believe things would have ended up much, much differently.

With Jasper’s death, there seems to be nobody else at camp who knows of Cameron’s crimes, or possibly, doesn’t want to speak out about them. Nobody to stand up for him. Nobody to redirect him.

So there’s nobody to stop the unhealthy-attachment-train from picking up speed.

Cameron And David’s Relationship

Cameron is manipulative and abusive towards David. This even becomes physical:

Despite this, David continues to idolize him as is seen in many cases of abuse. He works his ass off maintaining Cameron’s camp. Cameron’s approval makes or breaks him, because this is the man he sees as a father, unfortunately.

In addition, David is unable to let go of the hope that Cameron can change, because he’s convinced himself that deep down Cameron is still “good”, based on his skewed perception of him. And we all know how that ended.

But as Diane from Bojack Horseman once said —

And that is David’s problem — he wants so much for there to be a “deep down”, that there will be a day where Cameron showers him with praise and throws signed adoption forms at him, etcetera.

He judges Cameron not on who he actually is, but who he wants him to be. And so, the unhealthy attachment remains.

(Which is, of course, incredibly destructive to his mental health.)

Other Things We Know About His Mental Health, From Canon

We know he takes meds.

We know he has (sometimes dissociative) panic attacks.

We know he has been seen to suddenly snap, even to the point of violence.

My Final Conclusion: C-PTSD

(As the trauma has been not just one event, but many over the course of his life, and among other reasons, I believe CPTSD fits better than PTSD.)

David meets much of the criteria, most notably:

Lack of emotional regulation

Dissociation

Flashbacks

Anxiety

Guilt and shame

Distorted perception of abuser

Relationship difficulties

Okay this was long I’m tired good night.

#camp camp #camp camp david #cc david

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seriousbrat · 3 months

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this says a lot about Snape's character development for me. There are many parallels drawn throughout the series between Harry and Snape; obviously, they're very different characters but there are similarities too.

I think here Snape is talking about himself. The teenaged Snape we see in the Pensieve is very much like this- emotional, heart on his sleeve, easily provoked, a definite wallower in sad memories... weak. Adult Snape, though he retains some of these characteristics that do emerge in stressful moments (in PoA we see how angrily he reacts to Sirius's escape, for instance) on the whole is a great deal more thoughtful, reserved, calculating, measured.

I think that Snape at some point had to force himself to become this. I think he actually relates to Harry here, and is giving him advice based on personal experience. In my fic he begins to learn to control his emotions partially out of a desire to protect Lily; he's fully aware that she's his weakness (or really, his strength, viewed a different way) and that openly displaying any sort of emotion towards her at all makes her vulnerable to the likes of Avery and Mulciber, who will have the perfect weapon to get to him if they want to.

Severus doesn't have the advantages of his peers, he's not pureblood, he wasn't born into money. If he wants to join the Death Eaters and rise in their ranks, he needs to be subtle, cunning, careful. he can't afford to be careless and entitled like mulciber or bellatrix or even sirius. what he's got to offer isn't his name or his money, it's his sheer talent and cleverness. moving on:

When Voldemort decides to go after Lily this becomes even more important. Imo the reason why Voldemort believes that Snape only "desired" Lily is because that's what Snape told him. He lied to Voldemort's face and told him something probably disgusting tbh because that's the only way Voldemort would accept it and agree, if it was a selfish, callous request that Voldemort could understand. We can see evidence of this here:

Asking Voldemort to spare a mudblood because he was in love with her would likely not have gone over well- and as we know, Voldemort actually bore his request in mind, though obv didn't give enough of a fuck about Snape to follow through. Because although asking voldemort to spare her must have taken serious balls, Snape's mistake here was trusting someone inherently selfish to do something selfless for him.

Clearly he immediately realises this and goes to Dumbledore, which is when controlling his emotions becomes of paramount importance, because now he's working against perhaps the most highly accomplished legilimens of all time.

It's also interesting to me that Snape in this conversation is probably the character who is most forthright and informative with Harry in the whole of OotP until Dumbledore at the end; Harry actually learns a lot in this conversation. And Snape also kind of gives him credit which is interesting too:

like for Snape that's high praise lmao. A shame because if he wasn't so bitter (i.e. didn't wear his heart on his sleeve so much around harry) then he might have actually been pretty helpful to Harry and a decent teacher. Again, during the Occlumency lessons his unrestrained emotion brought up by memories of James is a hindrance. He defies Dumbledore's orders to teach Harry Occlumency because of his emotional response to SWM, as well as honestly doing kind of a shit job before that (by not being empathetic and teaching Harry in a way that would've been actually productive.)

At this point Dumbledore believes that Harry learning Occlumency and controlling his emotions is of vital importance; he turns out to be wrong about this. In Harry's case, it turns out to be his emotional nature that saves him- unlike Snape, who is the opposite. Snape's journey is about learning that some things are more important than his selfish need to give into his own emotions.

By DH Snape's learned this lesson fully; his old hatred for James doesn't stop him from doing what has to be done, from giving Harry the tools he needs. Even in the final moments of his life, he can look past James and see Lily in Harry- and, by giving Harry the information that leads to his self-sacrifice, he can let her go.

#sorry if this is kind of incoherent lmao its late #but this occlumency scene is so good tbh. the conversation between them is rly interesting #severus snape #meta #honestly the way snape views harry must be so complex and contradictory like no wonder he cant get a grip when harrys around lol #SORRY this got so long rip #severus

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ilylovelyz · 9 months

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Me Quiero Enamorar.

pair : bakugou x afab!reader

warning(s) : just soft, soft baku soft baku, loving sex, a lil angsty, hospital sex?, semi-public sex, mentions of injuries, biting, unprotected sex, hair pulling, this is more fluff than smut 😭

bakugou wants many things. he wants to be #1. he wants to be the best. he wants to do, be and have many things. but one of the things he wants the most, is you. bakugou loves you dearly. although he's not very upfront with how deep his love is for you, his love is everlasting and sincere. he's had many girlfriends before, but you're different. you can actually put up with his ego and intolerant attitude with a laugh, not wasting a second to insult him back.

no, you're so much more different than that. you're genuine, you're not fake and "all smiles," like some of these chumps claim to be. you wear your emotions on your sleeve, and never hesitate to say it how it is. he used to be annoyed by how emotional and bratty you are, but now, boy, does he really admire you for it. it's not something he can easily do, he'd rather die than cry in front of an audience, but you do it so easily it's like second nature.

you're different, because you love him. you love him for who he is. you don't try to conform or change him, nor do you ever get scared of his random tantrums and odd behaviors. you actually hear him out during one of his long rants, even if you disagree. what he loves most is that you're upfront when you don't like something, but you're not necessarily pushy with it either. you simply inform him why you disagree with something he's said. god, does that "nerdy" aspect of your personality lead to many deep conversations late in the night.

you're different, because he loves you so much, sometimes he's afraid to loose you. it's a worry that has him thinking late at night. his fingers are mindlessly twirling your soft locks in his hair, eyes staring at nothing at in particular. what if one day you'd leave him because of his own flaws? he'd never admit those thoughts, but somehow you find out either way. you'd take his cheeks into your palms, gently holding him like he's fine china, like he's the one who would cry any minute.

"don't be so silly. if i can handle these bastards, then i can certainly handle you."

oh, how earlier you were a feet away from death's door. such a big statement from a small fragile girl from you. he should've known he'd have to take your words with a grain of salt, as of now, you're laying in a hospital bed with bandages covering 60% of your body.

he mindlessly kisses the back of your hands, gently holding your hands in his own. he's also injured, but that doesn't matter, you're what matters to him. all he wants to hear right now is that you'll be okay, and that you're going to walk out of this hospital with him eventually. even though you are reassuring him with the little strength you have, the ghostly grip your hands can muster has him maybe not taking you seriously.

"'katsu'.." you rasped, bandaged hand coming up to the swell of his cheek. the low eyes he's fronting has you knowing what he's thinking. he's quiet, almost having not said a word in a record-time of 10 minutes. his face is relaxed, almost showing no emotion at all. you take this opportunity to focus on the small details of his face. it's almost unfair, a boy like him shouldn't have such perfect skin.

like a cat, he leans into your hand, seeking the warmth of your body. the soft illumination of the moon is the only light you have. he snuck out to your room, after all the nurses didn't allow him to do so much as sit up. his calloused hand comes up to your wrist, mouth placing gentle kisses on the tips of your fingers, palm and wrist. he's trailing soft pecks up and down your bandages before you wrap your fingers around his shirt's collar, softly guiding him up closer to you and your bed.

he silently abided, eyes full of confusion before he knowingly leans in for a kiss on the lips. the kiss is slow paced, almost still, like two slow dancers. he pulls a few inches away from you, eyes almost closed as he basks in your close presence before you're pulling him back in again, deepening the kiss. it's not long before finally climbs onto the bed in defeat. arms caged around your head, one of his arms is propped on it's elbow for support while his other free hand softly holds your jaw.

he wants to be like this with you forever. he just wants to play with your stupid hair, with you healthily laying stupidly content in a stupid bed. but he can't have that. all he gets right now is him playing with your stupid damaged hair, with you stupidly being injured, in a stupid damn hospital bed.

when you try to slip your tongue between his lips, it has him shaking his head in disagreement. no. you're too injured and fragile right now. he pulls away to diffuse the sexual tension, eyes watching with guilt as you whine like a child for his attention and touch.

but how could he? how could he muster to touch you intimately when he literally felt the warmth get sucked right out of your then limp and battered body less than 24 hours ago? of course he wants to. he would never resist you, but right now, just isn't the right time.

he's about to pull away from you entirely and call it a night when he stops in his tracks after you cry out his name, pain and sadness evident in your voice. "katsuki, i want you, please."

god, he wants you too.

⋆｡°✩

he slowly sinks his cock into you, taking his sweet time, wanting to feel you forever and ever. his nose is snug with your neck, inhaling your sweet, almost toxic scent. you mewl out his name, asking for him to go deeper. he abides to your request, hips rocking into yours, his cock's tip kissing your cervix.

you claw at his back, leaving angry red marks on his back bones and shoulders. his shirt has been thrown off somewhere, leaving his bare torso naked. your hands explore his skin, you've done it many times before, but you still cannot but help to run your hands along the harsh defined lines of his toned muscles.

he leaves soft kisses on your neck, tongue licking and sucking on your sensitive vein. his hands remain on your waist, occasionally squeezing when you clench around him so nicely it has him holding back a groan. he wonders how the nurses haven't found out already. or maybe they already know, which is why no nurse has came in to check in on you.

who knows, who cares. one of his hands come up to your breast, massaging the mound and pinching your sensitive bud. you arch your back in response, pushing yourself impossibly closer to him. his hands lightly push you back against the bed. "relax, i'll take care of you." he whispers, laying a chaste kiss onto your jawline.

he leans up for a minute to hook one of his arms underneath one of your knees, bending it upwards for a better position. the new position has you gasping out, hands clawing at bakugou's poor shoulders and biceps. he pays no mind to the scratches on his already injured body, if they are from you, then it's okay. he wouldn't mind if one of your scratches turned into a long lasting scar.

his focus is distracted when you clench impossibly tighter around him. he throws his nose back into your neck, trying to hide his low moans and expressions. you wrap your arms around his neck, embracing him as your orgasm comes closer with every rock of his hips.

"katsu'.." you cry out, hand coming up to pull on the roots of his hair, earning a low grunt. he hums in response, already knowing to bring his hand down to your clit, rubbing tight circles onto your puffy bud. within a few seconds, your hands dig small crescents into his back, eyes clenched shut in ecstasy as your orgasm washes over you.

he comes to a full stop as your walls clench down on him almost painfully, biting down onto your shoulder as his own orgasm takes over him, grunting as he spills into you.

the two of you bask in each other's presence following your orgasms. he's careful not to put his full body weight on top of you as he lays his head against your chest, eyes lulling closed as he listens to the faint melody that is your heart.

as you play with his hair, his arm comes up to rest over your stomach. your heart hums him to sleep. he loves you, he loves this. he just wants you, and he wants something like this, forever and ever.

if you liked my work, please leave a like and repost w/ tags :)

#my hero academia #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo mha #katsuki bakugo x reader #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki smut #my hero academia smut #my hero academia angst #bakugou katsuki angst #bakugou x reader angst #bakugou x reader smut #bakugou katsuki fluff #my hero academia fluff #my hero academia x reader #⨳ soft sex

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clericofgale · 5 months

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Spoilers for Patch 5 and the whole game.

I posted my thoughts about the new ending Gale got in patch 5 on Reddit first, but I might as well post it here with some revisions. I'll say it, I love the god Gale ending. But it is NOT his good ending to me. Before I would never have pursued it, but now it is tantalizing to say the least. I'm into it though Gale the mortal is still my preference.

"Gale Dekarios cuts a poor figure next to the wizarding prowess of 'Gale of Waterdeep. You like so many things about me I'd have sooner discarded…"

By ascending Gale, you are killing Gale Dekarios. The nerd that hits on you in front of everyone while you're covered in zombie blood, procced to infodump an entire tangent to complement you, and yet somehow stick the landing to hit you with the most romantic poetry you've ever heard. A sensitive man who wears his emotions on his sleeve and wants to make the world a more beautiful place. An artist of the weave and a poet. The owner of the most overbearing tressym in the world. The moment the spell was complete, Gale Dekarios died and Gale the divine was born.

Even then, why is god Gale now so enticing to me unlike ascended Astarion? Because he loves you. He wants you by his side as an equal. It's actually sweet and romantic, just like all of Gale's romance is. I'm nothing if not a sucker for a romance.

"Follow my Lead" "Show me more. Show me it all." "I want you to seize the crown and make us a new world"

BeMyGod is the name in the data file for the boat scene where Gale asks you if you'll be with him when he seizes the crown. I know file names can be arbitrary, but if you agree to his proposal, you really are asking Gale to be your god. It's so easy to say yes. You're in the stars, Gale says I want to show you so much more, but it's not worth it without you. All you need to do is say yes. You're angry at Mystra who demanded so much of Gale, caused him such suffering and won't lift a finger to help. So You say yes. You love him. He loves you.

When Gale ascends, even in 6 months he is a different entity. The devs indicate: "His posture/demeanor here should feel slightly more aloof/detached than the regular Gale - he's been immortal for six months, his ego is as powerful as his magic. The real Gale's insecurities still lurk beneath his godlike confidence, as does his love for the player, but this is clearly a Gale setting out on a darker path."

The Gale here is a twisted version of the one we loved. His flaws are worse, he good traits have mostly disappeared. Namely his kindness and tolerance to deprecating humor. He no longer tolerates any perceived slight or jab. He doesn't let go of his bitterness towards Mystra. His ego is large yet fragile. You saw a glimpse of it at the ritual circle scene if you succeed in upstaging him in magic. Now it's only gotten worse. Yes even his insecurity. If you rejected him after accepting the proposal, Gale says this.

Tav: No, I think it's the end. What happened to the man I once loved? Gale: He's the god he deserves to be. I achieved everything we hoped I would, and still I'm not good enough for you?

He's also lonelier than ever. His last 6 months were in isolation, with nobody he could trust while dealing with the crown and celestial politics. Immortals don't really have friends. They have allies and lovers. He stops talking to his mother who was so dear to him. He develops a spell to polymorph people into Tara, his oldest friend who rejects him after ascension. He then develops a spell that summons Shadowdark ale and forces people to dance and be happy, just like the vignette he told you about the Yawning Portal. The third spell is Power word: Ruin. he's finally back to speaking death into being with a single word, just like he used to.

Gale wanted to be a god to make a better world, but now he's a neutral god answering prayers from any alignment. He doesn't care if they are Thayan wizards aiming for lichdom or unscrupulous Amnian merchants. Ambition is a neutral idea. Ambition also drives healers to develop a cure. For adventurers to slay monsters.

What's the most noticeable remaining good trait in Gale? Gale still loves you. He's much nicer to you if romanced. He refuses to be with you if you don't go with him because he doesn't want to hurt you. He admires your good heart if you want to honor the pact with Raphael. He calls you my love just like before. He will fulfill the promise sealed that night in the astral sea. All you have to do is say yes. And the ascension cinematic is a callback to the romance scenes from before.

"Follow my lead. Close your eyes. I have so much more to show you."

And you know what. I'll go with you. Even if we will eventually lose both our humanity in our folly, and dreams become nightmares. Even if I'll come to regret that night when I said yes to the mortal you, I don't want you to be lonely. Where ever you go, I'll go. You'll always have me. And I'll always have you.

As God Gale would say… "A toast then, to our myriad ambitions. May we each get what we deserve."

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #god gale #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #Gale thoughts #Love makes fools of us all #Frankly I think the fact his love is genuine is genius #1k+ words

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doobea · 7 months

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KISS ME THRU THE PHONE - ISAGI YOICHI

synopsis: in which Isagi texts the wrong number and things kinda go downhill.

THIRTEEN - So, baby, kiss me through the phone. -> MASTERLIST contents: fem!reader, college au, fake dating, strangers to lovers, he fell first but you fell harder, generally sfw, confessions and all things pertaining to awkward pinning, a smooch towards the end word count: 1.6K a/n: and that's all folks! ok but real talk i think i fell in love w isagi while writing this smau series whoops

Isagi blinks once, twice, and a third time. When the chatlog stays the same, he asks Bachira to punch him in the stomach.

Bachira does this action with no hesitation and adds a bit more force than his usual horseplay. It knocks the air out of Isagi and he ends up hunched over by the edge of the living room couch. Reo looks relatively disturbed and Nagi doesn't even bother looking away from the game he's currently playing on the TV.

"I'm finding new roommates next semester," Reo groans and Nagi immediately hums in agreement afterward.

Bachira crouches down in front of Isagi, a smile too big etched across his face as he asks, "Did that help?"

Isagi manages to collect his words and nods. "Y-Yeah, thanks I guess..."

"What happened this time?" Reo hesitantly jumps into the conversation.

Isagi turns up his screen's brightness before placing the phone in the center of the coffee table. Everyone, including Nagi, peers at the messages. A moment of silence and then a shared gasp.

"What are you saying back?" Bachira blinks, trying to overanalyze the chatlog.

There's a shrug and then Isagi fiddles with the collar of his shirt. "I don't know! Uuh, should I just say 'me too'?"

"No," Reo frowns and snatches the device away before Isagi can type anything. "Is that all you got? No girl wants to just see 'me too'. You have to do this in person."

Isagi sputters out a cough. "In person? Like face-to-face?"

"That's what in person means." Nagi comments.

Isagi doesn't know how he feels about that. It's nearly midnight and, while your messages made him wide awake, he isn't entirely sure if you want to see him right now. His friends seem to pick up on his thoughts, mostly because he wears his emotions on his sleeve, and interjects.

Nagi pauses his game, something he rarely does, and looks over his shoulders. "You should definitely go."

"Yeah, yeah," Bachira chimes. "She's probably waiting."

They're right and probably right about most things in Isagi's life for the past few weeks. Isagi takes his phone back from Reo's grasp and finds the courage to reply back.

want me to come over to talk about this?

You respond almost immediately.

my babygirl i would like that

Perfect.

be there in 10.

Isagi rushes to his room, fishing out a fresh pair of socks, the heaviest jacket he has, and a pair of old beat-up sneakers before making his way to the front door. This isn't a big deal, Isagi tells himself. Maybe you're playing a weird game with him, or you actually want to be friends and nothing more, or you do like-like him in a romantic way. The more he mauls over it the less sure he is.

The wind is howling when he begins to jog over to your place. It's pitch black, the only light source being from his phone's GPS and the campus' lamposts scattered around. All of this feels weirdly comforting to Isagi, and he finds himself picking up his speed.

Your phone is currently somewhere across your room, hidden under a pile of clothes and pillows after you read his text. You try to distract yourself with a generic romance show in the background but find yourself staring out the window, anticipating what the hell you're going to do when Isagi arrives.

And, for the first time, you start to wonder how you even got here to begin with. This whole situation started not too long ago, a dumb fake number exchange that turned into a movie night that eventually rolled into a mountain snowball effect of the worst case of fake dating you've experienced. All because of Isagi's dumb idea that he blurted out without any real thought behind it. It wasn't supposed to be anything.

And, the scariest part right now, is that you know you want it to be something, but whether or not everyone is on the same page is a different story.

You roll around in bed some more, hair slightly damp from your earlier shower and wearing a mismatched pair of pajama sets that your parents had gifted you last year for Christmas. You strongly debate whether to call Rin or Chigiri for any last-minute advice but the thought of it is making your stomach flips. If you were to call, that would only solidify that what you're doing right now is real. Your feelings toward Isagi are very much real.

A sudden sound from your show catches your attention again. Looks like the island's favorite couple has won the prize and the viewers' hearts.

You want to be excited but secretly, you don't like romantic comedies. At least, that’s what you tell people.

In reality, you've seen a whole bunch, because Chigiri is a sucker for them. There’s always some elaborate set-up where the two main characters meet. Then a whole lot of back and forth, some ridiculous, drawn-out conflict keeping the two lovers apart, the usual cliché stuff. But there’s always a moment at the end. A big, romantic, dramatic moment where the two come together.

But you know better. Real life isn't like that, as much as you wish it would be.

There's a long moment of silence before your thoughts are interrupted by a faint knocking noise from your windows. You break your attention from the TV and carefully pull your curtains aside, staring back at a pair of familiar, welcoming blue eyes.

Isagi fucking Yoichi is outside your apartment.

"Oh, shit!" You hastily shut your curtains, ignoring his muffled 'hey, sorry for the scare!' and stumble to get your slippers on. Your phone pings a few times from your junk pile, you assume it's from the boy freezing his ass off outside.

You throw a blanket over your outfit and strut to the entrance. You can't tell if the thumping noise is coming from your slippers hitting the floor or your heart. Your hand sits on the cold doorknob and you begin counting to five in your head before opening the door, revealing a disheveled, shivering Isagi in front of you.

"Hi," Isagi looks out of breath, cheeks stained with pink, and wearing nothing but a heavy puffer jacket, an oversized shirt, and grey sweats. You suddenly don't feel insecure about your current wardrobe.

"Hi," You say back, wondering if he knows just how much torment he's been causing you for these past few nights. "You wanna come in?" You quickly step aside when he starts sniffling.

He takes his jacket off and holds it in his lap as he plops onto your sofa. "You've got a nice place," Isagi says slowly, eyes taking in every detail of your living area. He takes notice of the dog plushie from the mall trip not too long ago sitting by the edge of his foot and grabs it.

You start chewing on your lips as you join him, carefully placing yourself on the other end of the sofa. You swear you're going to start developing nervous habits the more time you spend around him, never mind all the other sources of stress in your life. "Thanks," You reply quietly. "Sorry that you came all the way here."

"You... you were being serious?" He suddenly asks.

Your cheeks flush and you feel slightly annoyed that he has to make you explain everything. Pulling the blanket tighter against your body, you exhale a heavy sigh and groan. "Why would I joke about stuff like that?"

Isagi mindlessly plays with the stuffed animal in his lap now. "I thought you didn't like me?"

You force out a laugh, covering your warm cheeks with the blanket. "You think I would put up fake dating someone for two weeks if I didn't like them?"

"Um, maybe?" He answers lamely.

You find the confidence to lean over and grab the stuffed plushie out of his grasp, rolling your eyes in the process. "I literally named him after you."

"Thought you meant it as a degradation," He chokes out.

You pause and stare at him. "No offense, Yoichi, but you're oblivious to like everything."

Isagi laughs into his hands, probably painfully aware of the fact. He narrows his eyes and offers you a hint of a smile, a bit less nervous and more of your usual banter.

"I think that's what the guys were thinking, too." He quietly admits and turns to get a good look at you, chuckling as he says the next part. "You look like you're about to faint."

And you can't help but agree. Your stomach feels jittery, your hands shaky underneath the covers, and your nerves are shot. But you two are slowly leaning against each other, giggling and almost seemingly threading between an area of something more and something less than just friends.

Isagi stops first and takes a deep breath. He reaches his hand out tentatively for your shoulder. You freeze when his fingers curl themselves in place and the touch is electrifying and burning.

"Can I—" Isagi swallows hard, his eyes searching hard within yours, and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze. "—kiss you right now?"

"Yeah," Your voice has gone all quiet but inviting.

As Isagi's fingers tighten slightly on your shoulder, he leans in closer, his breath warm against your lips. The room seems to hold its breath as your faces draw nearer, and then, finally, his lips meet yours in a soft, tender kiss. It's a hesitant, careful kiss filled with all the unpredictable moments and emotions that have been building up between you two.

After a few seconds, he shyly pulls back and smiles, a mixture of relief and joy in his expression. "I've wanted to do that for so long."

You smile back, your heart full. "I'm glad you finally did."

TAGLIST

@fabitheraven, @froggie-zusya23, @rroxii,@anurst,@silly-ez, @userwithlotsoftime, @tiniewife, @zeld6lvr, @macspov, @plopify, @urluvvdommm, @theweirdfloatything, @shironagi, @avogigi, @limerence-lu, @exatse, @cloooudmilk, @keijiqahara, @kakie @xacgrx @reiners-milkbiddies @arxliana @lazyogurt @kaitfae @yuxame @keiitsune @ch3nyan @ll-seishu @qwertyblo @mellozhi @y-sabell-a @izumi-astra-123 @blissblossom @slay0368 @hanniejji @mimikage @yoichiislovie @stwberri @wooasecret @faeroow @yuzurins @celestair @ascybous @satoruskitchenrag @laavatron @lupinandout @yoisami @softfor-svtptg @nymphsdomain @astro-pioneer @kunikame

a/n: i started this way back in july and finally finished!! this is my first smau series and im so glad that all of you guys stuck throughout it despite erratic uploading times hehe i love you all!!! Mwah mwah

#blue lock #doobea writing #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #blue lock headcanons #isagi yoichi #isagi yoichi x reader #blue lock smau #blue lock x female reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x y/n #kiss me thru the phone - isagi yoichi

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meowzahzzz · 2 years

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red guy headcanons ft. gn reader ( ♡ )

i love being cringe. we are all cringe. we are all free.

pre-relationship ~

red isn’t someone who wears every emotion on his sleeve like yellow, but he doesn’t necessarily act all haughty to cover up any of his emotions like duck.

red is very practical and so emotions, along with other abstract concepts like creativity, aren’t a high priority in his mind.

this doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel anything, of course he does, but when he talks, he isn’t typically thinking of how someone feels when he says it.

he’s very much a “we’ll cross that bridge when we get there” guy in regards to emotions on paper, but when he actually DOES get to that bridge he . doesn’t know how to cross it LMAO

this is why he doesn’t really call the others his friends; it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like them or even that he hates them, he just doesn’t really know how to handle relationships and emotions too well

that being said, it’s very difficult for red to process having romantic feelings, let alone be in a relationship.

if it weren’t for the fact that he’s bunched up with two other puppet twats (my words, not his ♡), red wouldn’t really have any friends. he doesn’t go out of his way to form connections with people.

so even if red acknowledges his developing feelings, he is very, very unlikely to act on them at all.

and by god, he is so relieved when you tell him and he doesn’t have to.

he feels a bit bad about it, he wishes he could be more brave about it (especially since he thinks it’s silly he’s so afraid of expressing how he feels).

early relationship ~

red feels relieved that you confessed (or if he confessed, he’s glad he at least got that out of his system).

but then he’s struck by the fear of how to approach you or talk to you or do anything with you since you’re both... Official.

to say red doesn’t understand the logistics of relationships would be an understatement.

of course he knows couples hold hands and hug and kiss and all that other stuff, but it feels weird when he even thinks about doing it himself.

if you initiate, he’ll be shy, but he certainly won’t dislike it.

it’s just the idea that he’s the one doing it, that’s what he’s afraid of.

he makes the mistake of even lightly discussing it with duck, who, depending on his mood, will either list every unrealistic ideal from romance literature, or will spout about how love is just a chemical and has no meaning. it’s a coin toss.

either way, it’s not exactly helpful.

and discussing love with yellow is... well, it just reminds him of a “baby pigeon” and that is apparently very distressing.

so that leaves red with himself. and internalizing all of that.

you do notice that he’s a bit more different than usual; you know him well enough to see the subtle changes in his body language and how he talks.

he’ll deny and deny, but eventually, he crumbles.

it didn’t really occur to him that he could talk to you about his insecurities and the pressure he feels.

after that, he tries to work on communicating with you more and not internalizing everything so much.

relationship!!! ~

red isn’t a pda guy, but he is definitely affectionate.

most of the affection he gives is in private, and if he’s giving affection in Public, it’s usually small stuff like handholding.

oddly insecure about his teeth because he can’t really... kiss you. just reassure him that it doesn’t make a difference and that u still like him for him, kiss or no kiss ♡

red is especially touchy when he’s super tired, it’s part of why he doesn’t like staying up late.

and he is definitely the big spoon, he’s just like a big mop dog so expect him to either cradle you or just land on top of you.

unless you’re super tall, he is definitely taller than you. and since he can’t kiss you, he just likes to lean his head over yours as a cute gesture ♡

days where both of you do nothing... amazing.......

red isn’t very verbal with affection, but he will, every now and then, say that he loves you, but he always means it, he’s just shy.

you will have to knock some sense into him and the others when they get into arguments. no chainsaws in the house please 😑

he’s not much of a chef, but if you like cooking or baking, he’ll definitely participate.

overall, he’s just a chill guy and i love him. and you should too. right now

#WOOOHOOOOOO CRINGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM FREEEE #dhmis #dhmis x reader #red guy x reader #IM HOME IM HOME IM HOME IM HOME!!!!!

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gffa · 5 months

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If the batfamily were in the gffa, which ones of them do you think would have been jedis? How quickly do you think they would have joined the nascent rebellion?

Absolutely NONE of them would have been Jedi, I say with all fondness towards the Batfam, but they are emotional hot messes, every single one of them, and to be a Jedi you literally have to have your emotional shit together, that's straight up how the Force works. You cannot act out of anger or fear without slinking towards the dark side, the Force will throw all that right back in your face, and I don't think there's a single Batfam member that doesn't consistently act out of a place of anger. Bruce - My guy can't even keep it together without a psychic energy field in his brain that resonates with his emotional well-being, he would fall to the dark side inside a month. I love him, but he already thinks he has things under control in his brain that he very much does not, he is the definition of being created by fear of loss and the anger that results from it. Dick - My Blorbo may be the definition of hope and light in the DC universe, the most trusted hero right after Superman, but he absolutely has anger issues that he just kind of ignores. Psychics in the DC universe have tried to invade his mind and come out like, "Jesus fuck why is that guy's mind so terrifying!?" because, while Dick chooses kindness and love, he was also forged in anger at the injustices in the world. Jason - Sweet babygirl doesn't even know what he wants, I tend to see Jason as often times deeply contradictory because I'm not sure he knows how he feels about things, does he want to be part of his family or does he want to walk away from them, he wants their love, but he can't tolerate their love, he thinks everyone expects the worst from him and is angry ahead of time, because he's so deeply insecure about his place in the world and in his family, and the injustices of his life are ones that still haunt him, the Joker killing him and still getting to run around would drive him into anger, fear, and despair just as much as anyone. Tim - My guy is ready to tell anyone and everyone to fuck the fuck off at the drop of a hat, that he's often times the one trying to pull everyone back together, but he also is still haunted by the death of his parents, he's still unsure of his relationship with Bruce at times, when things get back and he loses a little too much in his life, he starts pushing people away, he pushed Dick and Steph away while Bruce was dead, he obsessed over bringing Kon back as a way to cope, rather than actually letting go of his hurts, that guy seems fairly even keel sometimes, but, no, he's a hot mess who would have the Force throwing all that back in his face, too. Damian - Baby bat is so insecure in a lot of ways, because he doesn't always know how to relate to his father, he doesn't know how to be a complement to Bruce the way the other Robins did, they're both brooders, they're both the kind who wear their anger on their sleeves, and have a core fear of loss that would have the dark side hissing in their ears. Barbara - In some ways, Babs is more emotionally stable than the others, but in other ways, she is JUST as unhinged as they are, her fury at the Joker is still lingering all around her heart, she still explodes in anger when something pisses her off, she's still a little afraid of commitment because she's scared to open herself up, she still has to deal with her spinal implant not being perfect, Babs probably has a stronger sense of what her problems are, but it's not like she does anything about them half the time. Cassandra - I think she still feels too much guilt about her past, even if none of it was her fault, but that she can't let go of that pain, and it's not just "bad" anger/fear that draws you to the dark side, it's also "good" anger/fear that lures you there, too. And Cass deals with a lot of that and, while I think she'd probably have the best chance of any of them at making it as a Jedi, she does still have a lot of issues that the Force would be throwing back in her face.

Stephanie - I'd give her the second best chance, she at least sometimes recognizes her fears and says, yeah, I'm afraid, I'm just not going to let it stop me. Steph has as much anger and need to punch the world as any of them do, but I think she might have a chance at changing up her thought patterns enough to make it. Duke - Hmm, I'm not sure I've read enough with Duke yet to tell what his underlying issues are and how much he's dealt with them. He seems fairly stable and willing to back off when he needs to, but in general, if you're a Bat, you've probably got some real anger to work on. Kate - Everything I've read of Kate is definitely "wants to punch things in the face" or "feels torn up about her relationships with people" and that she's not really interested in not being those things. Alfred - It depends on how you view him, I guess. If you see him as someone who has made peace with the lives his family has chosen and willing to understand that they are who they are, then I could see Alfred as a Jedi. But if you lean into the idea of a British Stiff Upper Lip where he just doesn't talk about the anguish he goes through seeing his family get hurt night after night, knowing he can't stop them, then no he would be a terrible Jedi. In short: THEY WOULD ALL SUCK AS JEDI, but they would definitely have started their own Rebel cell even before Bail and Mon and Leia started connecting the various individual groups together!

#lumi.txt #dc #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth

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itsayikeslove · 3 months

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How the Uchiha are when in love

I love that Uchiha feel so much strongly than your average person so here’s how they feel when in love

Madara: knows that love is vital and important on a fundamental level, genuinely wants to feel it but what the environment of war has put him through taints his mind so he tells himself that he’ll never be loved and never love himself for it will destroy them and him. Envious of those who will put their heart on their sleeve but not stupid enough to allow himself to do it because of his loss and suffering. The benefit of love is just too unreliable for him but he’ll obsess in his mind, never making any move.

Izuna: gets mean. He likes to never acknowledge how he’s feeling because 1. He doesn’t understand it always 2. Romantic love is not important. He’ll feel the butterflies bubble up inside his stomach and what comes out of his mouth is not kindness nor vomit but insults and venom. Hates feeling vulnerable and any connection he’ll sever. Love is something that will stab you from behind and watch as you bleed to death. He’ll have none of that.

Fugaku: is actually the most sane one here. He gets nervous and because it’s such a foreign feeling for him he gets a bit colder than he usually is. He knows logically that he’s in love but emotionally it’s hard for him to let himself feel it, he doesn’t think it’s something he deserves or focuses on but it ends up taking a lot of space in his mind. Is more chill around them without realizing it. Is quite jealous but he won’t make any schemes, he’ll sit and wait for them to come to him.

Obito: He has the views of nihilism and the idea that love will tear your lungs out from your chest as you gasp for breath before it gives you air to live. He doesn’t have the logical aspect of Madara so he fully believes wearing your heart on your sleeve is the easiest way to die. In the short moments where he sits within himself though, he gets physically ill. He’s unable to handle how strong his emotions are and in turn it puts him in fight or flight but he ends up puking. He’ll be on his hands and knees shaking in the corner from dehydration due to vomiting.

Sasuke: doesn’t want anything to do with the source of his feelings. He’d rather cut his arm off before he lets it touch the one he yearns for. Runs from his emotions and will never acknowledge until it’s beaten into him. He’s subconsciously scared of being vulnerable with anyone and puts a cold and mean face on to lead people astray from his genuine emotion.

Itachi: sorrowful and shy. Standoffish though. He knows what he’s feeling and doesn’t act irrationally, which makes him seem aloof and uncaring. Is rather cautious but his kind and trusting nature can override that which can make him believe they’ll never do anything to hurt him. As logical as he is, his love is delusional, childlike even.

Shisui: one of the most secretly unhinged and possessive here. Isn’t afraid of love because it’ll destroy him but rather that he can’t control them. He’s kind and loving, but he’s spent too many years being what other people want and need, he doesn’t even know himself enough to let anybody know him though the parts he does know he doesn’t like. The jealousy, the possessiveness, the need of control. He’ll spiral if he doesn’t have control, but he wants love so badly it aches. So sat in the idea that it’s hopeless because all people die, that he won’t let himself genuinely love another person.

#shisui uchiha #obito uchiha #madara uchiha #izuna uchiha #sasuke uchiha #itachi uchiha #fugaku uchiha #yikes’s headcanons

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liyawritesss · 10 months

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ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟᴇꜱ [ꜱᴘɪᴅᴇʀ-ᴍᴀɴ] ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

Characters: Spider-Verse!Miles Morales [Spider-Man]

Type: headcanons

Synopsis: general thoughts and headcanons for everyone's favorite afro-latino spiderman!

Warnings: some cursing but overall no warnings. KEEP IT CUTE AND PG-16 CUZ THIS IS STILL NEPHEW WE TALKIN BOUT HERE!!!

A/N: went to see atsv and i’m absolutely floored by that movie…it’s definitely giving me new material to write abt and a new hyperfixation so buckle up yall cuz the next few posts are gonna be all spiderman related!!

Tags: @6-noir @babyboiboyega @badass-dora-milaje @jacuzziwaters @venusdraco @mbakuetshurisprincess @shuriszn @verachii @writingintheshadowsforever @cafehyunji @lulu-network @niyahwrites @pantherheart @marsfunzon22

First off I wanna say this is my SON, and on everything i love i will throw hands over him, if anybody wanna try it prepare to be demolished cuz I will NOT spare you. This is a lil boy ion wanna see none of yall sniffin around him period. I will gladly held you find your mind if you wanna lose it today!!!

Okay, no that that spiel is over, we’ve got some headcanons to address about everyone's favorite afro-latino spiderman

He’s so precious. Idc if you know already I’m telling you again, he is the most precious thing in the world. He has a heart of gold and wears it on his sleeve, he’s always looking out for people and wants to see the best in everything and everyone. Which, while it is a good characteristic to have, can sometimes put him in tough situations, and sometimes it doesn’t end well.

He’s such a momma’s boy, but like the good momma’s boy where he adapts the things Rio teaches him and repays her by being a good filial son, even though he’s growing up and wanting to branch out. If he’s having emotional trouble, he’ll come to her to try and figure out how to express himself and understand how he’s feeling. On special occasions, or just when he notices her mood is off, Miles will conspire with his dad to do something small but special for his mom, like make breakfast or drop off flowers at her work. She’s always super appreciative of it too

Waking up for him is hell in the morning, because he is not a morning person at all. It’s worse if he went on patrol the night before (which, 9/10, he has) and he almost always sleeps through his alarm. He’s the type to have to have several alarms set to get up up, because otherwise he will sleep through the day

Similarly, Miles also finds it hard for him to sleep most nights. In the beginning of his career being Spiderman he would almost never go to sleep really. Even the trick of using nyquil or melatonin gummies didn’t work because his mind was always on one hundred, thinking about everything and nothing all at once. Though as he meets friends he can confide in and grows older he learns how to manage that kind of stress, which makes it easier to sleep. Though the insomnia never truly leaves him unfortunately, and its something he has to take with him for the rest of his life

Despite his introverted self, and the fact that he tends to want to keep to himself more often than not, Miles is actually very easy to talk to and if given the time and patience, great at making friends. He’s awkward at first because he wants to measure his interactions based on the vibe of the person he’s talking to, but you will find a hardcore loyal and caring friend in Miles.

So emotionally aware that it almost hurts. He’ll be upset and know why he’s upset, but sometimes wishes he didn’t know because in some situations he may not think his emotions are valid. And because he’s such an intentional person and a hyper empath, everything he feels is multiplied by ten. So if you fuck him over, he’s probably more upset about it than you’ll ever be if you were upset at fucking him over, if that makes sense?

He’s a cuddle-bug and nothing will change my mind about it! He had hella teddy bears as a little boy and would get upset if Rio took them to be washed because he was afraid he wouldn’t see them again. For no reason in particular he’s slowly dissipated his teddy bear collection and now uses a very fluffy body pillow to hold on to as he sleeps. Sometimes if he’s sick or just very down in the dumps and Rio notices, she’ll climb into bed with him for a while and comfort him

A decent cook actually as well! He was always in the kitchen when his mom and his tia’s came over to cook so he knows how to throw down in the kitchen a lil bit. His favorite thing to make is tamales because while the process may be tedious, it allows him to unwind and clear his mind while focusing on the preparation of them.

Miles’ is the type that when he goes into the store he will always, without fail, buy a new notebook/sketchpad. He may not even need it, he may already have like ten new ones he has yet to break in, but he always likes to stay prepared for when his current one runs out. He also likes to alternate between them or dedicate certain notebooks to certain muses or drawing preferences

Will squeak out of surprise and say something in spanish if he’s startled or scared. And I’m talking like a girlish squeak and it's so cute but he’d be so embarrassed, cuz why did you have to sneak up on him like that? He was doing perfectly fine til you wanted to give him a heart attack.

On the topic of spanish, he isn’t that confident in it so he doesn’t really like to speak it if its not with his family, because he just knows he’s gonna fuck it up. So if he feels like there's pressure in a conversation where he knows he’s going to have to speak it at some point, he’ll try to back out before that happens

Miles gets so fascinated with things all the time. It happens mostly when he’s either strolling through the neighborhood or he’s on patrol. Definitely checks himself out in the glass of skyscrapers…then promptly remembers that there are people behind said glass that can see him and hurriedly swings off. And if a new pair of Jordans have been teased? Best believe he’s doing all the chores and buttering up his parents so that he can get them as soon as they drop

Speaking of Jordans; this boy is such a sneakerhead it’s insane. His dorm room AND his room at home are full of shoe boxes he has yet to style with some clothes. Keeps telling his parents “I’ma wear ‘em, I’ma wear ‘em!” but he never has the time to cuz he’s too preoccupied with being a good student and Spiderman to prioritize style over comfort (even tho he do still be fresh n clean)

He’s also the best bestie to have. Texts you tiktoks, checks in on you at seemingly always the right time. If you go to school together then you know you’re hanging out after classes. And if you need help in the sciences, Miles is the best tutor ever. And his family loves you, so birthdays, christmas and other holidays, if you’re not already celebrating with your folks, if you don’t fuck with them like that, or if you don’t have a real family, he’s inviting you over his place all the time so that you never have to feel alone.

If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don’t be shy to send in a request!

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coldbasementruins · 1 year

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I think it's interesting to note that while Kazuki does express practically all his emotions intensely, he doesn't really do the same with sadness. Of course, he does cry, but it's never when he's actually sad. During episode 7, when he was feeling unsure about what happiness is, and was grieving over his wife's death, he went quiet and thoughtful instead of crying. It's a bit similar to episode 10, where he was arguably less brighter than his usual self, but his smiles were more intimate and heartfelt.

It's not uncommon for people to express sadness or disappointment through quietness [That's literally what I do all the time] but for someone like Kazuki who wears his emotions on his sleeve, it's more gut wrenching to think about. It's almost like he holds himself back from expressing it, but there were multiple instances in this episode were his emotions caught up with him. But the main one is definitely this scene:

He visibly tears up, but he smiles despite that. It's reminiscent of the "overwhelmed with love" expression that's shown in a lot of stories, but mixed with that is realisation that "This is actually happening. It's going to end."

The scene where Kazuki gives the scarf to Miri is particularly gut wrenching because yes, obviously he's trying to prolong the moment before she leaves, but it's also similar to how Kazuki wrapped the scarf around the cat in episode 1 [as many others have pointed out]. Kazuki is visibly fond of both the cat and Miri, but he lets them go because he doesn't believe he has the capability to keep them safe and happy, especially after what happened to his wife and unborn child.

I can't say Kazuki loves too easily, I'm unsure of that myself, but he's definitely full of love. When he loves someone, he loves them with all his heart, and it magnifies because the people he love are limited. And he's fine with the few people he loves, because making real connections with lots of people is dangerous and risky. He was clearly expecting something long term with Miri and Rei and he acted accordingly. I am emotionally unwell.

#i hate this anime for what it has done to me #i am now only a shell of the person i used to be #LET THE MALEWIFE BE HAPPY GODDAMIT #he deserves better #gonna go bury a grave for myself #no im not terrified for the next few episodes haha why do you ask [proceeds to scream into a pillow]#Kazuki Kurusu #buddy daddies analysis #Buddy Daddies

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xxavengingangelxx · 5 months

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Somewhere Only We Know 7/?

Part 7 and drawing to a close soon! I feel like there should've been more Graves scenes in MWIII ;)

Summary: Val tries to hold her own again Makarov but is unsure if she will be able to. Makarov can do a lot of damage in a little amount of time, can't he? There is smut in this chapter so MDNI!

Triggers: Implied (but no actual!) pregnancy loss, tipsy/drunk/intoxicated sex, threatened noncon (but no actual noncon). Let me know if I missed any, please!

Taglist: @bellgraves, @unicorngirly1 (thanks for the chats, as always! :) ), @lily-lily131313, @sharksausages, @shepgurl - if you want on or off the list, lemme know :)

Your blindfold was yanked off…

And there he was, right before you.

Vladimir Makarov.

And then he said something…the last thing you expected him to say. He said it in that characteristic Russian accent he was so well known for.

“Hi, Val,”

And it took everything in your not to cry and beg to be released. Because fuck this. You should’ve stood up to Graves and told him no, that you couldn’t, in your condition, be bait.

So you used your second language as a ploy. “Quien es Val? Ni me recuerdo de mi nombre y no se donde estoy.” You asked who Val was and told him you didn’t even remember your name nor did you know where you were.

And Makarov, the man of many tricks up his sleeve, surprised you when he responded in Spanish. “Te conozco, Val. Eres la puta de Graves, si?”

And that pissed you off. He said he knew you and asked you to confirm that you were essentially Graves’s slut, yeah?

“Go fuck yourself, Makarov,” and there, that line, and your lie fell apart. Fuck your emotions and your mood swings and your frontal lobe that refused to work ever since you found out you were pregnant.

And with that he smacked you. Hard. So hard you cried out and almost fell sideways.

“American brat,” Makarov spat with venom. He knelt in front of you, dark eyes looking downright into your soul. He was wearing a dark suit with a white shirt just visible under his bulletproof vest. “My men said you mentioned No Russian.”

“I was just communicating to your dimwits that I don’t speak Russian.”

Makarov smiled but there was no humor in his tone and the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Shall I make you scream like my men are doing to your Shadow friend?”

You shook your head.

Makarov reached out towards you and brushed your hair from your face. And you flinched.

“He tortured you, no?”

You met his gaze but you didn’t answer him.

“I know the look,” Makarov pressed on. “You broke,”

And despite your best efforts your eyes got watery and teary.

“I don’t think you could mentally or physically handle another interrogation, hmm?”

You shook your head and the action was enough to make tears fall down your face. “I’m pregnant,” as soon as you said it you wished you hadn’t because you didn’t feel Makarov would take any pity on you because of it.

Makarov laughed cruelly. “Graves’s?”

You ignored him.

“You’re too pretty for him, love,”

“Fuck off,” you snapped. You saw that by the look on his face it took everything in him not to hit you again.

“I believe,” Makarov paused before continuing, “that for some reason not only do you know something about No Russian but that you have valuable information about Shadow Company.”

“I don’t,” you lied. Now you didn’t know shit about No Russian but you knew a few ins and outs of Shadow Company.

“Your lies only serve to disappoint me,” Makarov said darkly. “Graves trusts you. You’re carrying his child, how could he not?”

You scoffed. “He hasn’t told me anything about his company.”

“I know you know things, Val,” Makarov stood. And he produced a firearm.

“What’re you doing?” you asked. Because this was getting scary. Is this how you were going to die?

“Clearly, you respond to harsher forms of questioning,” Makarov stated. “I shoot,” he took several steps away. “You vest catches the bullet. Worst case for you? Broken ribs.” He aimed slightly lower than your chest, towards your abdomen. “For that kid inside you? Probably worse results,”

“I don’t know anything about Shadow,” you reiterated, getting desperate.

Makarov’s gaze turned deadly and he loaded a bullet in the chamber. “How about I take care of that bastard child and fuck another one into you?”

And you sobbed, broke your brave, defiant persona.

“Don’t!” you screamed. You hoped your shriek would bring Shadows and Graves running.

You couldn’t take this, you couldn’t. You leaned forward as far as you could, trying to protect the child you were carrying. You’d rather be killed than lose that child although you weren’t sure why. Maybe it was because that child offered you a chance at some sense of normalcy. Maybe because deep down you loved Graves with a twisted kind of love and that child was the only thing that might keep you together with him forever. You wanted a family, was that too much to ask? Fuck. Fuck.

And then.

Gunfire outside.

You took the opportunity with the added noise to focus on snapping the zipties behind you like Graves had taught you.

Makarov walked over to you and when he saw your hands were free he yelled at you in Russian. You assumed he was cursing you out. You dodged a kick, intended for your stomach, the homicidal bastard. And so when he reached for you, you launched a punch.

But missed.

All hell was breaking out around you and Makarov and yet here he was focused on you. Was it because he knew what a valuable hostage you’d make or was it because he knew about the fucked up relationship you had with Graves and that it would destroy him if he killed you? Or worse took you? Maybe both.

Shadows were targeting some of Makarov’s men and Makarov’s men were targeting Shadows by returning fire. Friendly fire was a real threat here as it was close combat.

Your ears were ringing and you were delirious with how tired you were but still…you fought.

In his bid to get you under control, Makarov was getting enraged. But you weren’t giving up because you weren’t fighting for you. You were fighting for your child and for the chance to see Graves again.

So when Makarov, a known war criminal and sadist, tried kneeing your in the stomach, you reached up and scratched his face. With force.

Makarov yelled in pain and in frustration and in rage. But it gave you enough time that your small frame was able to slip away. You tried crawling away but Makarov grabbed your ankle. The grip was tight enough to make you cry out in pain and you went from a position of being on your hands and knees to one where you fell flat on your chest and stomach, the force knocking the wind out of you.

Makarov then made quick work of twisting your ankle, making you scream in pain.

“I like that sound,” Makarov grinned sadistically as he yanked you back towards him. You scraped your nails and fingertips raw trying to claw the cold cement floor trying to find anything to prevent you from being pulled back to him. But he had you under him again and he straddled you, preventing your escape. He raised a hand, no a closed fist, that motherfucker was about to hit you with a closed fist and so you raised your arms up in front of your face in desperate bid to protect yourself when…

You heard a command from none other than Graves himself. And a bark. And then watched as Graves released Riley’s leash.

The look on Makarov’s face said it all. He knew when he was outgunned. Makarov was brave and liked risks but one thing Makarov was not was stupid. Makarov always wanted to live to fight another day. And he knew that Riley just might move too fast to be shot.

“I’ve caught your scent, Val,” Makarov grinned. “I will see you again.”

And then he was gone his men covering him with return fire.

And you could only lie there and cover your ears, curling in on yourself. Because Makarov was gone. And he was alive. And he promised to find you again.

Riley caught up to you and stood over you, barking and snarling when the enemy so much as looked at you.

“Can you walk?” Graves’s voice sounded muffled.

“I think my ankle’s broken,” you cried.

So Graves carried you. And you leaned into his touch as much as you could and passed out.

“Consider yourself out of the field,” Graves’s calm voice slowly brought you back to consciousness.

You were in a hospital. Somewhere. You never really knew where you were. Not since Graves took you anyway. Your brain did some drugged mental gymnastics and wondered if being a hospital meant you were going to be flagged and taken into custody again.

“Why’m I here?” you mind jumped to the worst. Had you lost— “Did I lose him?” tears filled your eyes.

Graves sat next to you and his scent, his body being in contact with yours brought you instant calm.

“What makes you think you’re having a he?”

“Mother’s instinct,” you replied.

“Well then,” Graves responded. “He’s fine.”

“Motherfucker got away, didn’t he?”

“Relax, Val,” Graves stated. “And no. We were pushed out by Makarov and his men. Still didn’t get my man back and they’re torturing him.”

“Sorry,” you said. Because you knew Shadow Company was like a family to Graves.

“Not your fault,” Graves comforted.

“It sucks,”

“You know what doesn’t suck though?”

“What’s that?”

Graves pulled something out a velcroed pocket on his vest. It was a small picture and he handed it to you.

“Since you insist on knowing through mother’s instinct, him,”

And that was the first time you were given an ultrasound image of the tiny life growing inside you. So you teared up.

“Why’re you cryin’?”

“Graves you have—”

“Phil,” he corrected.

“Phil you have a lot to learn about emotions,” you sniffled. You ran your fingers over the image.

“Now you know why I’m such a hard ass,” Graves stated.

You gave him a confused glance.

“You can’t take that,” he signaled at the small image, “from me.” He elaborated, saying, “And you’re sure as well not taking you from me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you promised. Where could you go even if you wanted to? It was either a military prison in the UK, Makarov, or Graves. You had no other options.

“No one will love ya’ll like I do, Val,”

You nodded. It was starting to sink in. So you returned the gesture. Partly because you meant it and if you were a hundred percent honest, you were still scared of the man. “I love you,”

“Besides, what’s not to love about you? You’re a bad ass,” he smirked.

“I’m in a hospital,”

“You held your own again Vladimir fuckin’ Makarov,”

“And he kicked my ass,” you continued.

“Doesn’t matter,” Graves interrupted. “You won’t be seeing him again because you’re outta the field. You’re workin’ intel from now on.”

You wanted to tell Graves that Makarov had threatened to find you, that he had pretty much told you he’d caught your scent like a rabid animal catches scent of prey.

And that terrified you. Because now, unlike months ago, you had a lot more to lose.

That night, thankfully, you weren’t plague by nightmares. You actually dreamt of when you first met Graves.

“They call me Val,” you extended your hand.

“That’s…mysterious,” Phillip Graves, the CEO of the private military group known as Shadow Company, smirked and winked at you and if you weren’t mistaken, eyed you up and down. He shook your hand strongly but you could tell it wasn’t even half his strength.

You smiled coyly and felt your face grow warm. Great. So you were blushing in front of your new commander and in front of your captain.

You were about to turn and walk away in shame. To go back to your room where you were going to scream into your pillow for acting like an idiot and full on blushing in front of your new commander and Captain Price. The last thing you needed your Captain thinking was that you were sleeping around again. You and Soap had gotten an earful about that a year ago.

“Looks like we’re the only two Americans on this leg of the tour, huh?” Graves’s voice drew you back and you turned back towards him.

You huffed a nervous laugh. And now you were the one who eyed him up and down. He was hot and tall and just all around fucking attractive. You wondered what he would taste like on your tongue and what he would feel like inside you. And your stupid self bit your bottom lip to prevent from laughing nervously anymore before answering, “Yessir,” tapping the American flag on the front of your vest.

“Price told me you speak Spanish, too?”

“Correct, sir,”

“What’re you doing tonight, bonita?” Graves drawled. He was eyeing you shamelessly and he was trying to make it obvious.

And you laughed nervously again before stepping closer to him. He smelled of cologne, aftershave, and gun oil and it only made him more attractive. You got on your toes and he must have gotten the idea that you wanted to whisper to him because he learned towards you.

“I was actually planning on sneakin’ outta here to get a drink,” you murmured.

“I’m game,” Graves responded.

And not too much later you were getting into Graves’s Jeep. You were both sans gear but like any other soldier you both still had firearms on your person.

You were sitting right next to Graves when you heard a familiar voice coming into the bar.

“’Mericans found it before we did,” Price’s voice almost made you choke on the drink you’d been nursing.

And you did choke, which made it harder to put some distance between you and Graves.

And at that point you discovered that Graves had wrapped an arm around your waist, making it even harder to scoot away from him along the booth seat. You didn’t plan to scoot too far. Just enough to dispel any rumors you two were thinking about hooking up.

“Captain,” you gasped out after finally catching your breath. Ghost, Gaz, and Soap joined him. And Soap being behind Price threw you a knowing smirk.

“Discussing business?” Price eyed Graves.

“Sir, yessir, business,” you said rapidly.

“Make sure she gets back safe, eh?” Price placed a hand on Graves's shoulder before he and the rest of the team followed their captain, leaving you to scoot right back over towards Graves who didn’t need to be told twice to put his arm around your waist again.

“Will do,” Graves confirmed.

You stayed at that dark bar with Graves even after Price, Gaz, Ghost, and Soap had left. You weren’t drunk, just wonderfully tipsy and happy and giggly.

Graves helped you into the passenger seat of his Jeep and when he leaned over to fasten your seatbelt, you caught him with a quick kiss on the lips. He didn’t react outwardly but when he closed the door you saw he smirked to himself.

“What’re you doing?” you asked when he pulled into the parking lot of his own living quarters. Your quarters were a few more miles down the road. He wasn’t going to make you want home was he?!

“I don’t feel comfortable driving much farther,” Graves replied.

“Bullshit,” and just like that you had cursed at your new commander. Thanks to the alcohol you’d drank making you loose lipped. You weren’t drunk, bot by any means, but even one drink always made you braver, more open to speaking your mind.

“You can’t talk to me like that, soldier,” Graves’s voice took a stern tone.

“Sorry,” you muttered. “Alcohol always makes me a little braver than I usually am.”

“Apologize to me some more inside,”

“You’re gonna run hot with all these clothes on, ya’ know,” Graves said hoarsely as he easily peeled your jacket off you. You had lied down on his couch and dozed off for what must’ve been a few minutes and woke up in his bed.

“If you’re gonna fuck me, fuck me,” you sneered at him through tipsy eyes.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,”

In the span of less than two minutes you were on your fucking knees in front of Shadow Company CEO Phillip Graves. He had both his strong hands fisted in your hair and was moaning your name as you drooled over and licked his cock. Even in your silly, tipsy state you knew how to please a man. You hummed around his length, the vibrations making him moan and lean his head back, his hair falling off his forehead. You ran your tongue along the underside of his dick, using the tip of your tongue to flick the head.

Graves hissed above you and said, “Ah, fu—fuck,” all the while tightening his grip on your hair.

You sucked the precum right out of him, drawing another moan from him.

He glanced down at you, his golden brown/blonde hair falling onto his forehead again.

“Look at me, Val,” he commanded. “That’s an order,”

So you opened your long, dewy eyelashes and looked up at him. And what a sight you must’ve been. Your eyelashes were carrying some semblance of tears from when he triggered your gag reflex and your checks were flushed thanks to the alcohol and your…current activities. Your breasts still had the hickies he had sucked onto them earlier and you were on your knees, legs spread wide, with one hand on what was left of his length and the other between your legs, touching yourself as you blew him.

“I give you permission to touch yourself?”

He pulled his dick out of your mouth and you whined at the loss. You yanked your free hand away from between your legs. And your face was hot in shame. Here was one of your commanding officers with his hard cock right in front of your face while your were blowing him and you were touching yourself.

“Sorry,”

“You’ve been saying that an awful lot tonight, haven’t cha?” Graves stopped stroking himself and grabbed your hair before tossing you onto the bed.

“Go on, then,” he demanded. “Do it. Show me what a piddly little orgasm you can give yourself before I take over and get the job done,”

“Graves—”

“Say my name, baby, fuck yeah,” Graves moaned.

And despite the fact that you felt your face burn hot with some semblance of embarrassment, you also found this incredibly, unbelievably hot.

And you were a soldier so you started following orders. Your fingers made obscene noises as your sunk them deeper into you. You were fucking yourself on your hand and whatever shame you felt before was quickly being replaced by carnal need.

Graves watched intently, running his fingers over his length and sighing at the contact.

Your fingers curled inside you and you found that soft, cushiony spot inside you that made you gasp and see stars. You’d always been a little rough with yourself and so all it took to push yourself over the edge was pressure on your clit from one hand and a hint of fingernails on that spot deep inside you for you to cum on your fingers.

You mewled your release, again saying his name, “Graves, fuck,” or rather moaning his name.

You thought you were going to be given a break.

But it wasn’t even a minute before Graves had his face between your legs, tasting you, drinking you.

“Graves, I need a break—”

“You don’t get one,” he smirked. “Since you like to cum so much you couldn’t keep your fingers outta yourself,”

So despite the fact that your legs were shaking and jelly, your wrapped your fingers around his hair and arched into his mouth. Graves had you coming undone in the span of 30 seconds. You saw spots in your vision and your vision also went black and white for a few seconds.

Okay, now you needed a breather.

“Don’t be selfish,” Graves snapped as he pressed his hot (probably painfully hard dick) against your entrance. “You on birth control?”

“Yes,” you whispered hastily.

Graves didn’t need to be told twice to slam into you so he did. And thank God you were the only two in that tiny shack and that the rest of both of your groups were some distance away because you screamed his name.

Graves put his hand, which smelled of you and him combined, over your mouth. Graves set a brutal pace. But could you blame him? He had probably edged himself repeatedly while you’d sucked him off, while you’d essentially fucked yourself, and then again as he tasted you.

So you whined underneath his thrusts and when he took his hand off your mouth he replaced it with his own mouth. He swallowed your moans and mentions of his name. Then his dick started hitting that spot deep inside of you repeatedly and roughly all while he also ground against your clit. It took a few rounds of that, maybe three or four, before you came undone around him. Your jaw dropped but now sound came out as you reveled and lost yourself in your orgasm.

Graves rode his own orgasm out as he held himself inside of you, groaning his own release before he gasped heavily. He didn’t collapse on top of you completely but he laid his head on your chest. And you ran your slightly trembling fingers through his hair.

What a surprisingly intimate act for two people who had just met a quick fuck, yeah?

#phillip graves #phillip graves x reader #graves x reader #john soap mactavish #ghost cod #cod mw3 #longwayfromhome #price call of duty #gaz mw2 #somewhere only we know #call of duty phillip graves

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 7 months

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i think the reason why people don’t like mai for zuko is because zuko is already a very grumpy, angry, pessimistic person and so is mai soo they reasoning is that he needs somebody with a more opposite and optimistic, personality like jin and katara who are more nice and caring than mai idk cause zuko does cheer up a little at the end aand katara is more supporting at the end at least oor that’s what people say idk what do you think? why does zuko chooses mai and not jin or katara? and what do you think of the people who “knows whats best for z ??

Anon, I'm gonna be honest here: the people that genuinely dislike Mai with any kind of bias affecting their judgement are very rare. Anyone who tells you the overwhelming hate she gets, both as Zuko's girlfriend and as her own character, are not 99% the result of zutarians being bitter that she "stole Katara's man" are either lying to you or were lied to.

Mai, alongside Ty Lee, is one of the most chill antagonists of the show. Zuko was far grumpier and MUCH more furious than she ever was. Hell, her main deal is that she is always too chill because she was taught to repress her emotions and not voice her opinions.

THIS is why she is Zuko's true opposite, the yin to his yang. When he is letting his emotions cloud his judgement, she's the voice of reason. And in turn, when she's getting too distant, he makes get out of her shell and connect. They've had their issues, sure, but by the end of the show they were all pretty much fixed.

Also, I would NOT call Zuko a pessimistic character. He has low points and moments of panic, but that boy kept himself mostly sane during three years of exile by holding onto to hope that, maybe, just maybe, this supposedly dead enemy of his nation that had been seen in 100 years was not actually dead, thus his mission wasn't pointless, and he'd have a way home. Just look at how over-confident Zuko is battle and at how many life threatening situations he got himself into because he acted without a plan, assuming that everything would turn out alright somehow. That boy is an optimist. A grumpy, moody, reckless optimist, but still.

Again, that's the kind of situation where he and Mai would ballance each other out. She likes the thrill of these adventures as much he does, but she will NOT act without thinking. Hell, she won't even put up with stuff that is not dangerous but that she considers beaneath her (see her refusing to follow orders in "The Drill").

This is thing that really bothers me about shipping, not just in this fandom: people forget that no one wants to date their clone, but no one wants to date their COMPLETE opposite either. You need common ground.

Katara and Zuko have the same temperament - proud, strong-willed, stubborn, wearing their hearts in their sleeves, and willing to get VERY mean when pissed off (never forget the "The stars look beautiful tonight. Too bad you can't see them, Toph!"). Then being a couple would just BEGGING for them to have some very ugly fights. As for their differences? Like I've said a million times before, their goals in life are so different they wouldn't even live in the same country. How could a romance between EVER work?

Ty Lee's temperament would be a good ballance for Zuko's, but the most common ground they have is they hang out with the same two girls and maaaaybe Zuko believes in auras too since he basically demanded Mai to defend herself when Ty Lee insulted her aura (this is totally not me letting my headcanon of Zuko taking that stuff 100% serious and writting down everything Ty Lee says on the topic cloud my judgement). Other than that, we see that Zuko clearly wants to be Fire Lord, and while Ty Lee just wanted to go back to the circus or travel around with her new friends. We barely get any interaction between them, so acting like there's evidence for her to be his perfect match is quite the stretch.

Same for Jin. They got along well enough on their date, but that was just for short bit of an episode, not even the entire episode itself. That's too little to claim she could be "the one" for him.

With Mai meanwhile, we had a ton of episodes, in which we got to see their relationship's ups and downs, and see that they managed to bounce back from some pretty serious conflicts and still clearly adore each other after it all.

As for Zuko choosing her over any other girl, it's simple. He likes her. He likes her dry/sarcastic humor, how badass she is, how much she enjoys physical affection, how she doesn't put with any bullshit fro anyone (including himself), how she was bold enough to basically tell him, Azula and Ty Lee to fuck off, how pretty she is when she hates the world (unbelievably iconic line) etc.

Mai is Zuko's type of girl, she likes him back, and they are compatible, and thus they ended up together. It's not rocket science.

#anti zutara #pro maiko #pro mai

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mullettaegi · 2 months

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incoming: another fucking voltron rant because i watched a langst edit and now i wanna cry😭😭

they did not take time. they did not slow that show down for a little bit. especially for lance. cause he did not getting a fucking moment to find himself again after he FUCKING DIED. we saw him homesick, we saw him missing his family, we saw him insecure about his position on the team, we saw him insecure about himself, but we never actually saw him go anywhere else but being sad. he really did get barely any character development.

and tbh i feel like in a way just all the characters didnt have a moment to slow down. and i know, i know, its a kids show, its about fucking robots for fucks sake, theyre in the middle of a war. which, yeah. youre right. but there couldve been so much more, for him, for all of them. what about them? as people, with feelings. where are there emotions. why is it only sadness and happiness and not the enitre confusing spectrum of emotion between. does pidge not feel lost after she finds her brother? yeah, hes back, but i bet she didnt imagine she would be fighting an intergalactic war, and now matt is too. she imagined family dinner, brother barging into her room, dad making corny jokes, house happier and full of life.

hunks family was put in a fucking work camp. he had seen this across the galaxy, zarkons army imprisoning people, making them work, killing them. did he imagine that for earth ? did he imagine that for his family? how the fuck did he cope fighting a war, anxious as he is? how did he cope at all?

shiro isnt even in his fucking original body. thats fucking weird. im not saying that in a rude way bc like yeah, organ transplants are a thing irl, and a major life saving thing they are ! but like, how odd it must be to have someone elses kidney or heart in your body. nevermind to have your entire soul and conciousness put into another body, you but not really you.

keiths life,,, dude probably just doesnt even give anything a second fucking thought anymore. but like, could they not have shown him showing some more emotion. fair enough if he doesnt always cry in the moment but rather late on, but you'd think seeing allura die, they wouldve at least put some tears in his eyes. he had fucking no one before he had voltron. only shiro, and even then he was alone for so long when shiro had been on his mission. you cant tell me he didnt want to think of voltron as his family. they bonded :(

and lance, gosh lance. i feel like, if we looks at this as it is, lance would be the character that people think back on and go "oh yeah, he helped me accept my emotions, he helped me become the best version of me and gain confidence in who i am". in the fandom hes seen as someone with big emotions that he wears on his sleeve, but also someone who will put everyone else and their needs before himself.

he's a story of self-sacrifice, quite literally. he's the story of sincere love, of casual admiration. he's the story of the most wonderful friend, of loyalty, of no, I'll step down because there's a cause bigger than me, and im not the one for the job when there's people like my friends and you on the team.

and no one wanted to explore that? no one wanted to see him do more than just, what? flirt and literally die and fall in love and barely find his place on team voltron? that was it for him. it shouldn't have been, but it was.

#just... im no professional qriter but like #there couldve been more humanity to it yknow #to all of their emotions but most importantly lance who was brushed off time and time again #he was destined for greatness #hes so much more than what he shows people but the people just cant be bothered to look past the mask #:(#vld lance #lance mcclain #voltron #vld #mullettaegi #long post #i may be talking no sense but yall will be seeing it cause i cant be keeping this shit in my brain itll eat me up #i care about this show far too much and am not gonna hide anymore it means so much to me :(#and theres so so much more that im forgetting bc its been a while since i watched the show #so alls i can say is lance deserved better he deserved more he couldve been such a character!!#but ik there is so much more to it and i have more to say about his death but i just dont have the words

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shinjisdone · 5 months

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The many (Ph)Faces of Yandere Thorfinn (S1)

@luopenis , @jinsecho , @mitsureigen , @theknightssecrets

*INHALES DEEPLY*

OOOOKayy, I once mentioned that I find Yandere! Thorfinn so tricky to write cause he got so many phases through his arc and is a deep character. Its so HARD for me to pinpoint him anywhere CAUSE THERE IS NO WAY TO PUT HIM INTO ARCHTYPES OR CATEGORY

I MUST WRITE HIM IN CHARACTER, I MUST!

Because - just like Shrek - my boy is an onion. He's got layers.

S1!Thorfinn:

This guy is a mess. He keeps his thoughts to himself but wears his heart on his sleeve yet unfortunately, it is all the negative emotions he shows.

He has not a single problem spouting out insults and demeaning words. Looking down on people who dont think like him.

Yet that is the only time he really talks to others. Only when he spits in their face becaus he truly does not make an effort to care for others.

To be fair the "others" are vikings, a coward prince and the murderer of his father.

Still, he does not care for titles or social cues and behavior. If he doesn't like you, he is actually quiet UNTIL you provoke an answer from him. Other than that, he does not share what he is REALLY thinking.

So, lovesickness from Yandere!S1! Thorfinn??? Not likely.

Lovesickness imo is straight up floating in dreamland. Fully accepting your feelings and basking in them. But Thorfinn being like that??? Nope.

The only times he'd feel even the slightest indications of love is when he is really, really, close to you - emotionally and physically.

If you are already close, some fluttering of your eyelashes and angelic smiles won't make him swoon (he'd think you're weird) but after carefully forming a bond...and interacting with him with the intention of care might.

*slams fist on a table* Thorfinn won't blink if you get close, put a hand on him or even gently tend to his wounds. He'd do the same because injuries need to be treated in a careful, gentle manner in order for them to heal. and not die It just makes SENSE.

But doing so and then ending the treatment with a brush of your thumb over the back of his hand, GENUINELY looking worried and telling him to be careful because you care- *GASP* it's gonna do something.

It's the sincerity. This utmost genuine display of...care. Someone WANTING him to be okay. WANTING him to...still live.

Suddenly he's left sweating and hot, his heart thumping against his chest it hurts. What is this?

He startles and backs off. The feeling is foreign and he kind of grows to hate it. Usually Thorfinn contains a calm and cool head (when he isnt blinded by his emotions) but this...state truly renders him frozen.

He might slowly accept these feelings...but acceptance for him means letting go of the irritation when he feels them. When he comes to the point where he finally hugs you out of his own will, he will still feel these heartthrobs but...will not protest.

The typical 'lovesickness' doesn't really exist in Thorfinn. Never will he gush and praise you but hold you close as his unreadable gaze never seems to shift from you. Thorfinn wears his heart on his sleeve but never reveals his inner thoughts.

Clingy and stalker??? Also kinda no? How is he supposed to stalk you when you eat, sleep and travel on the same ship?

Clingy though...well, perhaps. Not in a 'Don't part from me' way but more like a 'I GOTTA MAKE SURE U DONT DIE'

And unfortunately, anyone who isn't him is an enemy in his eyes.

He's not gonna...put an arm around you or show anyone that you 'belong' to him but he's more like a shadow or dog just...behind you. And looking angry at anything that isn't you >:(

Obsessive and possesive is also tricky because S1!Thorfinn would never, ever - in a million gajillion centuries - ever admit he is in love. HE WOULD NEVER REALIZE HE HAS FEELINGS FOR YOU NEVER

Bro is so stupid. So boyish and stubborn and emotional but so dense and his head as thick as lumber that he'd legit not realize his feelings. If he ever would, he'd refuse to believe it :(

Love??? Romance??? Whats that????

He would think about you...and wants to keep you safe...

You are all he really has, after all. But it still isn't anything near obsessive or possesive. He's kinda...refusing these feelings in a way.

He is very overprotective though 👍 yet that has little to do with delusion (which he also lacks) but more about paranoia in a way? He grew up alongside his father's murderer and the war he wages and there is you, right in the middle. His overprotectiveness makes sense in the environment you both are in.

But he does put it up a notch. Goes a full 200% with his overprotectinveness that literally ANYONE is a danger. If they are meek enough he just scares them away by literally standing behind you like a shadow (as if he was tall enough to overshadow anyone) and glares at them as if one wrong inhale will mean their death.

Anyone who touches you, invited or not, gets to meet his daggers :)

It could have been the most pleasant interaction you had but he dont care :) they gonna die

Manipulation? HA

Bro only has two things in his brain: Askeladd and you.

Though he might be insistent on some things. How you are weak and he is strong, how you shouldn't trust that person and going alone in there is going to get you killed!

But none of these words are carefully picked to sway you - like the thick-headed idiot that he is, Thorfinn believes wholeheartedly all he says.

The young man is always honest. He may not share much but when he does it is always the truth in his eyes.

Sadism? HMMMMM

Maybe...but then, only the tiniest bit.

Everyone is his enemy. Yet he doesn't really bear any hatred for those that are not Askeladd.

Perhaps he will be more cruel to those that cause you harm. Prolonging their pain until he kills them. Though I think that kind of behavior of him would be 70% rage and 30% sadism.

There's a chance he might mock them as he slices their flesh slowly open.

It first starts off with threats - how dare they do this to you and how they better not ever get near you again. Never think of you, never speak your name or even breath the same air as you!

He's talking as if they are still capable of doing anything to you. Their legs have already been sliced so deep they cannot walk and Thorfinn's dagger is going in deeper and deeper as they beg for their life.

You'd think he'd be delusional there. Perhaps he is a bit...

But then it's like he snapped back to reality.

"But this is as far as you're going to go."

He slaughters them afterwards. While he does enjoy throwing out insults and threats before killing them, the fatal blow is done with utmost ire.

I can kinda imagine him as self-indulgent kinda?

Boy is uncaring and cold, very reserved. He wouldn't want to be- worhsipped or anything (its kinda embarrassing and weird?) but to have you dote on him?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm maybe it aint so bad teehee

Especially when he is tired or injured. Any kind of physical doting as he relaxes is really heehee nice

Might get soft but just a bit. He still doesn't say much but will definitely indulge in your care.

Will be a bit grumpy if you suddenly stop and purposefully lean his entire weight on you to stop you from leaving.

IF YOU LEAVE FOR ANOTHER PERSON TO LOOK AFTER/TALK TO OMG HE WILL ACTUALLY GLARE AT YOU

Thorfinn doesn't like it. To him it makes no sense why you'd need to be there for someone else when all that matters is you two. You have each other and no one else and this is how it's supposed to be.

Ok, now that I think about it, very hostile towards anyone that isn't you. Like...he actually INDULGES in the idea of only you two being here. In the world, all alone. No one else but you two.

He isn't delusional and actually BELIEVES you two to be sole survivors of everything you've gone through with the world being your playground...but the image is nice.

So no, he will not let you be with anyone else >:(

Will be more hostile to the third party then you but will also tell you to stay away from that troublemaker. Ew, look at them they aren't Thorfinn.

Kinda impulsive though. Yes, definitely. Anything that has him snap in a uhhhh violent way will be very impulsive and very bad for everyone unfortunately part of this.

It could be Askeladd, it could be a danger to you, it could be the mocking of his father - Thorfinn is easy to piss off and while his very first reaction is violence, the actions that he chooses to do right after may vary depending on the thing that made him snap.

You were hurt? Absolutely merciless as he destroys that person, no matter if bandmate or not.

Someone insulted you? They get their jaw broken with one fist.

Ok BUT - BUT BUT BUT ---- LISTEN, LISTEN!

A romantic gesture thrown at you from someone else? Uh oh.

Thorfinn doesn't really know how to react to that. He usually is more familiar with fighting and mocking. So seeing someone get close with a non-threatening intention is...different.

He knows one thing for sure though. It angers him.

Rendered frozen for a minute before he goes beserk of course.

Someone suddenly drawing you close? Hugging you? dshfpvnsdinsfbje what is the MEANING OF THIS!! WILL ABSOLUTELY GO BETWEEN YOU AND HOLD UP HIS DAGGER AT THEM

Giving you the most innocent of gifts such as flowers?

??? Whuat, what is this supposed to be???

Will take the flower from you and examine it, as if he could find anything wrong with it. DUde, its a flower.

Will clutch it tight in his hands, destroying the petals before throwing it on the ground. Such a...useless thing.

Definitely confused by all these gestures and is more perplexed by this tightening grip he feels in his heart. It...hurts and he is vexed...but thinking about it also...painful and vexing. So he doesn't.

Thorfinn doesn't reflect on his emotions and instead just acts upon them.

So YEAH LOVESICK? NO

STALKER, OBSESSIVE, POSSESSIVE, MANIPULATION THE WHOLE SPIEL OF A YANDERE???? NOPE THATS NOT REALLY THORFINN, YA KNOW?

oh BUT OVERPROTECTIVE, SELF-INDULGENT, IMPULSIVE, QUIET AND LONGING WITH A HINT OF SADISM???? I THINK SO!

omg and now think about both sad man arc thorfinn AND peaceful ponytal thorfinn;;; im sweating this guy is gonna give me a stroke of how hard i have to think about his yandere tendencies

like what are you mister???? I-i need to know

legit literally thinking about him and all the chaos he would unleash. but also....he is not your typical yandere. he gets so special over time, shedding his layers of the onion he is

#vinland saga #thorfinn karlsefni #thorfinn #yandere #yandere thorfinn #yandere thoughts

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