#but I find myself wearing it all the time by myself coz it’s just nice idk

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

3.20.24 .Wednesday --- Special Post for Mitchang.

Remember me Mitch...

It is our "wash day" today in De La Salle.... A quick repact these days...

Longing....

3.20.24 Wednesday

It is weird and strange feeling that you are longing for someone....You are longing to go back and touch a big mystery that is continously happening...

I met her one morning in the classroom of De La Salle, she looked at me like a child. I was a child too but I feel that she needed me that day. I find her so cute wearing that shorts jumper and her cute pair of sneakers. I had my own life leaving Mark in FEU and the rest of my friends in FEU- Recto...

She suddenly smiled at me and I smiled back at her. She is so cute and looks nice but a child... Again, I was a child too coz I was really religious....All I know was to follow the words of God and to perfect the 27 doctrine of my old religion ( Church Of Christ ).

I liked her the very first day that I caught her looking at me. I remembered her cute short hair , I think it is one length or something like a bob-cut... I don't know, we suddenly got connected by an instant chemistry...

We were together for three and half years. We always met on our deal spot,whereever it was....She always in a hurry, a lil sweaty but still looking good. I met her exes but then she was with me and I was with her...

Days passed us by so quickly, I still couldn't give myself coz everything was a big question mark to me. Day came that I already removed my teeth braces, I knew she wanted to kiss me but I won't let her do that...

She teased me, she said you don't have a teeth braces anymore Phychang, it is so good to kiss. I was just quiet and looked at her and I just smiled. She kept saying that to me, that it is good to kiss without braces on my teeth.

I had a dreamed from the past days,that I saw her following me just like a shadow....I lost her in my memory from the past years....A lot of things happened to me...

In my dreamed, she followed me everywhere... One time, I was in the grocery store and someone just said hey! Do you know that girl and she went out of the mall walking hurriedly, all I can see is her side view as if just a shadow or a ghost. Then, it happened again, same place but this time, she suddenly almost bumped into me but not really touching me....She looked down on the floor and continuosly walking and I was just thinking it was a ghost of Mitch. It can't be...

Before graduating from De La Salle, I was left by her ( Mitch )....I was a transferee student from FEU-RECTO so, I was in college for five years that is supposed to be four years only...

Mitch went to Medicine School right away....She knew what she wanted... I'm not sure if she got some personal agenda's.... We still had our car and van that day, that I always used everyday in the morning but when darkness striked I need to return it home ( they will use the car at night -my adoptive parent's ).

I figured it out that Mitch transfered a place from her rented room inside the university,she went out somewhere got a house for rent coz she will start her medicine course....So, I was able to visit her twice... The day that I visited her she was just on her big white shirt and just a panty and as far as I can remember she kissed me somehow and touched me for the first time. I mean the first time she held my hands and guided me into her room...

Before going to her room,there were boys around one of them was Aaron. She introduced me to Aaron that was her church mate in Born Again....I was shy and smiled at them... Then, she led me into her room... The day that I saw her fruit and all was organic as well...

Remembered I posted here,if Mitch fixed her prunes and she is just somewhere nearby....I will get hurt and mad at her... Where is she now?

Anyways, in my dreams from the past days.There was a party of someone from here in Cavite that someone and some old friends were begging and crying that I need to go with them... An old friend bought me a new dress, shoes with a pair of bag and lots of make-ups and gave some bottled of perfumes, I think 5 bottles.

That friend deliver me 5 starbucks grande of different drinks or flavor there are 3 cold drinks called Frappe like one cold latte, 2 fruits cold drinks and 2 hot drinks like Peppermint Mocha and that Caramel Macchiato.There are as well some pastries from Starbucks.

An old friend said I will fetch you around 7pm and prepare yourself and I know stuff that you need by tomorrow are all complete. I will send you an another set of Starbucks breakfast and after lunch snacks by tomorrow, don't worry it is all on me! I just smiled...

I receive the Starbucks drinks and pastries the day an old friend visit me....Then, the next day Starbucks deliver me again a breakfast, 7 drinks mixed of cold and hot drinks and some pastries...

Then, boxes is delivered as early as 9am. I just signed it and it was paid already as my old friend told me before the day came...

I open the big box it is my dress for the night , it is a long gown silverish...

I found this silverish gown with a waist adjuster clip inside the box.

Plus this size 7 dancing shoes...

On the last 2 box there is a bag and some mixed make-ups and the 5 bottled perfumes... I found Paris Hilton, Guess Silver Perfume, Green Tea, Beautiful CK, and YSL..

In a lil while it will be 7pm...The day I need to prepare for the night event. No special assistance for me... But good thing my friend will fetch me around 7 in the evening. I just prepare my dress and do may make-up here on my own....I got a cute bag wow!!! Nice dancing shoes with a dress paid by a friend... Not bad!

Here is the bag... Wish I can make it smaller but they know, I can't...

Hmm....The night arrive, 7 o'clock strike, my friend arrive around 7:30 in the evening....I told nana to take care here as well as that weird Uncle Jun and I kiss John to behave and I'll be back later with his treat...

I go inside the car and give him some wholesome kiss or beso or cheek to cheek and hug my friend and say thanks! Let's go...

So, while we are going to the main event somewhere like in Solaire Hotel... My friend play a song like this "everything she said" ...

I laugh out loud and my friend who is driving laugh as well that he can't stop lauging at me... I say stop! Will you please stop laughing... I'm so fucking serious about this,you know....You know that you miss someone and you wanna hug that person and say what's up? We are still here... My friend answer yeah! Right you better treasure the past to figure out what will be the next journey. We just laugh... I say I miss her... My friend say it is fine....I miss you too, I miss our friendship. I laugh, while saying I can't believe this is happening.

We reach the Solaire Hotel, we are going to park inside and he say can you wait for me and let me open the door for you? I'm surprise and shock and smile at my friend2x huh??? I can manage this....Let's figure out what's next....I can't believe this is happening. Then he suddenly embrace me while preparing to go out... I hug him in a wholesome way, I say it is fine... This is longing to an old treasure. He say I know, it is fine... I glimpse at him sideview and say let's go and I can open this door for now. He pinch me on my left cheek.

I'm already outside the car waiting for him ( my old friend ) then we walk inside the hotel entrance...

We are heading to the timeless hallway to reach the "friendship tree door hall" yeah! it is inside the Solaire Hotel. The ambience is champage party of silver and gold... Then, when we enter the room they're playing this song.

When we enter the "Friendship Tree Door Hall", I saw a lot of old friends high school and college and from other places and some new faces ( which is somehow weird for me )...

But there she is...The most important person for me tonight...

Mitchang is wearing a red satin semi-gown dress... Here it is...

While,playing the "All About Us"... I see her on the opposite side of the room, it is like I'm in North and Mitch is in South.

We lock each other's eye, we both automatically smile while people around are yelling at me saying hey! Pie glad to see you again, I smile at them and saying catch-up with you guys later and giving hint by simply returning my look on Mitch and smiling... My old friends say yeah! Sure gotcha! One of them wink on me... Mitch is walking towards me slowly and looking shy and hesistant...

When we reach each other's space, like my physical body is just an inch away from her... I smile and suddenly embrace her and I say I miss you so much,what's up??? Are you ohkay?

She hold my hands again both of it and telling I'm glad you are here, I miss you too....Getting my left hand with her right hand and she interlock it this time... Then, the background music now is "Dare You To Move"...

Then, the friend who fetch me approach us bringing us a cocktail drinks. He say hey! 2 pretty ladies,kindly get your "Bloody Mary" then you can choose other drinks later...

I laugh and say hey! I thought this is champage party... He say yeah! Later will get you champagne. He also lead us on our table that has a number 7 and put some bacons on our table... It is cute coz there are so many balloons around, it is like a prom but not a prom...

The party is really about "catching-up" on each other's lives...

Actually the party starts at 7pm and we arrive around 8:45 pm....I don't know my friend just fetch me and someone just change it into 7pm instead of 8 in the evening...

Me and Mitch are talking with each other. Exchanging stories while we keep on sipping cocktail every other cocktail.....We laugh and almost cry...

Then, someone at the side suddenly poke my left cheek and suddenly give me a fast and shocking smack on my lips ( a stolen smack ). A smack from Mayee ( Mariel my workmate and heart-friend in Cebu Pacific ). I laugh and say how are you Mayee, will catch you some other time and seeing Mitch looking at me having that serious face. I introduce Mayee to Mitch, I say Mayee meet Mitch my college heart, yah know... Mayee laugh and say yeah! Got it! Mayee say hi and wave to Mitch and extend her left hand to shake hands and Mitch extend as well her left hand and simply smiling...

When Mayee go to the other table, Mitch suddenly give me a quick smack as well. I laugh out loud then I kiss her back, I press my lips into her lips with soft-pressure....I quickly kiss her right neck and smile....She is starting to blush....I say is that bad? ( on my soft tone voice ). Mitch suddenly sigh at me and smile....She hold my right hand under the table but I brought our hands up onto the table and this time I interlock my finger into hers...

In a lil while, around 11 nearly midnight, my friend who fetch me suddenly hand me a card. I say what's this? He say your room key, we have a booking until tomorrow afternoon here, so you are with Mitch. I check the room key, the card number is 277. Since we are all tipsy, yeah it is fine....There are extra clothes and underwear,I ask him??? He say of course this is Solaire, there are free slippers, robe,extra clothes, even shampoo and toothbrush. I say yeah! Right ohkay... He say my room is just beside you. I just smile...

The party is over, the host announce you can just get your pictures on the table outside and some take away for tonight....

Me and Mitch hold hands while going out to get our pictures and take away....My guy friend who fetch me tap my shoulder and say see you tomorrow, if you need me just text me. I'm just at the side of your room, okay? I say yeah ohkay!

A high school friend hand me a condom then we laugh...I say thank you!

So, me and Mitch hold hands while going to our room for the night... We enter the elevator from 9th floor go down to 2nd floor to be specific room 277 while my friend is on room 278.

In the elevator there are other friends/people who are with us, Mitch press the 2nd floor. We are just smiling on each other...

When we reach the 2nd floor, I see my high school and our college friends and some new faces are also on the 2nd floor. We just wave goodnight and saying see you guys in the morning.

I smile at Mitch in-front of our door and I say I will just get the key card inside my bag, for her to release my right hand. Both of us are already tipsy but I still have my senses...

When I insert the card key,I look at her smiling and I say our room is already open. Mitch smile back at me but her head look down. I see her blushing and I'm still smiling and observing her. I open the doorknob while holding her hand again...

When we enter the room, I say Mitch will just brush my teeth and pee... I'm starting to walk going to the bathroom, Mitch suddenly pull me back,I accidentally lean on the back door of our room and she press her lips on my lips then I slightly kiss her gently again and kiss her neck on both sides....I say will be back Mitch, I need to brush my teeth then give her a smack.

After I brush my teeth and pee and wash... I go out, I see Mitch wearing a robe, already using the Solaire Hotel Slippers. I get my robe as well on the sofa and starting to remove my shoes. Then, I see Mitch go inside the bathroom.

I see there is a music player in the room... I also look for the light controller to dim the room... I play this song...Here is the music player,the LG Stand By me...

I play this song...

I go to our King Bed, yeah! There is only one super King Bed in our room,there in Solaire Hotel. I put the repeat song button. I don't know....I think it sets my mood. I'm just sitting,waiting for her...

When Mitch go out from the bathroom, she go straight to our bed. We look at each other, I lean on her and kiss her right cheek and starting kissing her neck while I'm removing her bathrobe.

I keep on kissing her neck, softly chewing her soft skin inch by inch. Slowly taking off her robe down to her waist while I still keep on kissing her on her neck and going back to her lips... I can feel her heat at this very moment. I can hear her moan....

I totally remove her bathrobe throw it at her side, I put my left hand at the back of her head while my right hand is caressing her neck and shoulder. I continuosly kissing her neck, licking and chewing her, going back to her lips and inserting my tongue on her. I can hear her moan... Her moan makes me want to continuosly kiss her, I want her to burst out... I want her to love me... I want her to treasure me.... I want her to remember me....I want her to be united with my soul.

I starting gently capping both of her breast while I keep on kissing her lips and inserting my tongue on her and she's starting putting her tongue in my mouth....

This is longing my personal comic strip above my head as I continuosly kissing her with my tongue sliding inside her mouth. My hands are capping and gently playing her nipples rubbing my palm on top of her breast.

I keep on hearing her moan... As I go to her cheeks as if chewing her and going down to her neck kissing and gently sucking her flesh. She just grab my robe both of her hands and I remove it slowly as I kiss and suck her neck, until my robe is hanging below my shoulders.

I'm on my kneeling position on her side still my robe is on me but hanging already on my shoulders.I gently lead Mitch to lie down, while caressing her breast I lead her to lie down on her pillow, my left hand assisting her head while my right hand is playfully stroking her chest down to her side body going to her navel...

I can feel her heat and I feel like I'm starting to wet and loving this moment with her... Her breath is an ectasy on my ears... Oh! Mitch... I keep on kissing her sliding my tongue up and down inside her mouth or twirling my tongue inside her...

I'm starting to sit on her on an astride position while she is lying down already, I lean forward on her to continuosly kissing her. Both of my hands are on her sides... I quickly astride on an upright position to remove my own robe now it is hanging on my waist line... Mitch's hands are starting to caress my boobs and it feels heaven for me... I go back sitting astride on her as if I'm a rider of a super hot horse at this very moment...

Placing my elbow on both sides on the bed on her upper body, I'm starting to tease her with my kisses like sucking her neck and go back to her lips and give her a smack and sucking her breast and going back to her lips again and giving her the best tongue twirl that I can do at this very moment....

I continously giving her kisses on her neck down to her chest, smacking every inch of her skin...While I somehow raise up on my right side then my right hand caressing her side body, going to her navel and now my palm is on her vagina caressing it gently until she moan heavily on me...

I give Mitch a massage on her kingdom that I'm trying to invade at this very moment... I'm starting to tease her down there....Striking her vagina as if I'm playing a piano or playing a guitar....I keep on hearing her breath saying Oh! Phychang, Phychang...

I keep on fidgeting her vagina while she is still on her panty.... Stroking her kingdom softly up and down and massaging it while kissing her on her lips with my tongue continuosly twirling inside her mouth.

I'm on fire this time, I raise up an upright and quickly remove my robe from my body and drop it as well on her bed side floor...

My right hand still on her vagina continously massaging it until I somehow I slide my hand into the side of her panty to feel it and I'm fucking so happy that she is already wet that I wanna keep on touching it until she burst out like a volcano....

Then,I keep on kissing her and now slowly kissing her chest and kissing her cupcakes but I love her, my left hand is just on her side....I keep on kissing her entire chest most specialy the surrounding space of her breast then I'm starting to suck slowly her breast teasing Mitch to moan on me... I'm glad she keeps on saying oh! Phychang,Phychang...

Oh! Mitchang...

I go down to her tummy kissing her skin inch by inch... My right hand is caressing her body going up to her right breast then I'm bending forward on top of her on an astride sitting position. My left hand is on her right breast, caressing it slowly while kissing her tummy and licking it up and down...

I'm slowly smacking her tummy now, smacking slowly going down to her lower abdomen and licking her left and right lower abdomen. Then going back to center of her lower abdomen... Teasing her going down to her vagina,but still wearing her panty.. I'm somehow sniffing it like a flower and kissing her vagina on top of her red lace panty...

I raise up a lil and slowly removing her panty and Mitch can't stop moaning her hands are on her head while lying down... She slightly lift both of her legs coz I'm literally removing her panty...

I go down the bed and remove my panty as well....Then,go back again on top of her on an astride position.She sit while I'm on astride on her and we kiss again and she caress my body now and trying to touch my nipples, this time my nipples harden and I can feel a drip down there coming from me...

I suddenly catch her right hand and suck her fingers slowly and lead her hands going to my breast... I want her to caress me and feel my soul...Then, I push her slowly to lie down again... I go back again down there, I'm adjusting myself going below her vagina and lifting both of her legs in-front of me... I'm starting to lick her fruit it is well-trimmed... Trying to give it a gentle blow as if talking to her flower... She heavily moaning now...

I give the first strike of my tongue on the middle vertical line of her vagina, a soft lick and soft kisses... Mitch somehow give me a sudden thrust and moan heavily...

I lick her inguinal both sides while caressing her thigh both sides... I keep on licking the cheeks of her vagina until some juice go out from her... She is crying now that she likes it,that she likes it so much... Telling me oh! Phychang there,there oh! My Phychang... I say just tell me Mitch if you are coming... She say, yes,yes keep going Phychang...

I alternately kissing the top of her vagina, smacking each side and sucking both of her thigh....I keep on kissing and sucking the top of her flower and slightly open the line of her vagina then I keep on licking it up and down...

I give her a soft lick alternately on giving her a somehow solid hard lick on that middle part of her flower... Then, I see that lil bell inside and somehow on the upper part of her inner cave.

I start to give her a whirlpool lick on that lil bell inside her and now she is starting to scream for more... She ask me please Phychang don't stop... I continuosly twirl my tongue inside her and focusing on that lil bell, oh God! She is dripping now...

I lick again the top of her vagina then sucking it...Then,go back to her inner line to touch again that lil bell I stay there for few minutes, I start to give her a swirling lick on that bell until she is telling me not to stop Phychang,I'm coming, I'm coming Phychang and I focus on continously licking that bell on a twirling or swirling motion until Mitch say Oh! Phychang I'm coming now... Then, her juice come out and seeing her bell is happily moving...

Then, I kiss her on the lips ... Then, we finally sleep and waiting for tomorrow...

To be continued....

#Youtube

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

I forgot how good of a coping mechanism(stim?regulator/??) that doing makeup is until I just did makeup the other day coz I knew I’d need a moral boost to get through the day and something to focus on while I did other stuff. then reminded again today when I knew I needed something to steel my nerves for the rest of the day & to make stuff easier. I felt way better about stuff and it’s making me remember I was gonna get more makeup stuff and I just keep forgetting which is problematic considering how helpful makeup is for me

#thoughts #Oni talks #I did all pink color coding with a reject dress for the wedding and a lipstick I forgot to bring/decided against bringing #that I wish I would have brought coz it would’ve been perfect for one of the outfits #so I just really wanted to wear that lipstick which I originally got on a whim for myself and not to wear anywhere coz it’s kind of a lot #but I find myself wearing it all the time by myself coz it’s just nice idk #and then today I did all purple #and either yesterday or the day before I decided ti be goth with my fancy shirt #which also reminds me i wanna get more of those clothes especially since I was watching this one YouTuber #where they talk about history and also wear historical fashion and it’s an aesthetic I aspire ti because it’s just so good?? #and we look vaguely similar too so I know it’s an achievable aesthetic which makes me want the clothes even more #oni talks #the only downside to makeup is that I have to take it off #but yeah again today I was realizing I need to get more stuff partially bc some of my stuff is ridiculously old so it’s kinda weird #& I’m unsure if I should still be using some of it tbh + I’m almost out of some stuff #and the other stuff just doesn’t have enough colors? especially since I like doing color themed things which just yeah #the problem is actually shopping for makeup is surprisingly hard bc I never know wtf to get #also still sad I lost some of my favorite makeups and I lost stuff again and idk where it went :( #I really should learn more about makeup as well but learning hard #I’ve found I also am always torn on whether or not I wanna do mascara bc I really love how it looks but it’s the WORST to clean #like genuinely hate trying to remove mascara it also messes with my eyelashes and just blegh #but like at the same time most looks never look complete without it so?? #I also gotta get more lips bc as I said I like color theming and I just don’t have many colors that aren’t like basic af #except maybe blue I had a ton of blue for some reason but that was one of the things I lost! I tried to find this one lipstick the other day #since it’s the darkest lipstick I own and I wanted to be goth but I couldn’t find it and purple didn’t work so I had to do red #and like yes red works with everything but it also gets boring after a while ok #I also probably should get new brushes and eyeliner bc my eyeliner is… rough tbh #I thought I ordered a new eyeliner but idk if they actually delivered it tbh #makeup is one of those things I don’t buy for a really long time and then the one time I do I get a bunch #and then I don’t get any for like a bunch more time again

[gaypiratesandangels]

Heya, i see your masterlist and want to request charlie from the perks of being wallflower x male reader. Charlie wake up one day on reader bed with both of them topless from last night party. Both of them stranger. MReader popular guy at school, Charlie keep avoiding him coz insecure. Reader help Charlie when someone bullied him, and explain about the night (Charlie throw up, Reader help him). Reader tell Charlie not to avoid him because Reader like him. (Btw yu write carter 2 times on mstrlst)

Charlie Kelmeckis x Male Reader

warning: f slur, slight angst but fluff in the end

Charlie opened his eyes and looked around, a strange room appeared in his sight. Trying to remember the night before he felt someone next to him. He turned around and was faced with you, he realized how you weren't wearing a shirt and was horrified when he realized he wasn't wearing one either. You opened your eyes and Charlie jumped out of the bed. Stumbling as he grabbed his shirt and shoes. He thanked the gods for still having his pants on. You now sat up straight in bed and opened your mouth to explain the night before. But before you could speak Charlie rushed out.

His head filled with questions about the night before: what was he thinking, going to bed with a stranger? Except you weren't a stranger, not quite since everyone knew you at school for being the nice popular guy. Did you use him? Had he been drunk? What the fuck happened?! The same questions kept taunting him until he got home, when he was finally safe behind the doors of his own bedroom he broke down.

Getting out of bed to go to school was always hard for Charlie but now... He wasn't ready to face you, knowing you went to the same school. Not wanting to let down Sam and Patrick, he decided he would go anyway and would just avoid you at all costs.

School went good and he didn't run into any trouble or you, until lunch. He had just finished his food and was on his way to his locker when he accidentally bumped into one of the mean jocks. He apologized but got slammed into the lockers anyway. "Watch where you're going nerd!" the guy scolded "Hey, isn't he in our English class?" another jock asked. "Yeah, you're the teachers pet. You're probably screwing him for good grades, aren't you? Little faggot" Charlie looked around frantically to find an escape, suddenly the bully got pushed away and you appeared in his sight. "Leave him alone dickhead" the bullies, frightened now, knew your reputation and decided to leave before they got in any trouble.

You faced Charlie and checked if he got any injuries. "Are you okay?" Charlie nodded and wanted to walk away but you grabbed his arm. "Hey, I wanted to explain something about the other night but you left my room so fast and I couldn't find you at school.

"I'll explain now, you were at my party yesterday but you drank too much. So when you started throwing up I helped you, it was all over your shirt so I threw it in the washing machine and I brought you to my room to let you use one of my shirts. When you got there you fell asleep on my bed. Since I was kinda drunk myself and you wouldn't wake up I just let you sleep over." You told him all of this in almost one breath and were now smiling apologetically at him. Charlie seemed to need a moment to process everything and made a cute face while doing so. Your smile grew wider. "You okay?" Charlie nodded slowly "Yeah...I'm sorry I overreacted" You put your hand on his shoulder and gave him a friendly pat "Hey, it's okay" the brown-haired boy was smiling now too "I guess we'll go back to normal now?" You felt a knot forming in your stomach, it was now or never. "I don't want to go back to how it was." You spoke firmly. Charlie cocked his head "Why?" You took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes "Because I like you."

Charlie's eyes widened "Wait, you like-" "yes, I like guys" you interrupted "...me" the brown-haired boy finished his sentence. Your face started to heat up and you gulped.

"I think I like you too y/n"

#male reader #tpobaw x male reader #charlie kelmeckis x male reader #logan lerman x male reader #m!reader #the perks of being a wallflower x male reader #the perks of being a wallflower #tw f slur

[wackybuddiemewbs]

Okay, some random costume rambling ahead, please buckle your seatbelts.

Because I'm just SO not over this. Also, I apologize in advance for only pointing out the obvious or just getting lost in the hype, but, ugh, what's there these days if not the HYPE huh?

So yeah, the costuming, as many have pointed out in way more elaborate ways already, is just so on-point for the two. And I just can't keep myself from obsessing about it.

So, let's suffer through it together, shall we?

Let's talk contrast first.

Something that really struck me in the last couple of episodes was the contrasts in color when it came to the costumes we saw for Buck and Eddie.

We started the second half the season with those two dorks in the kitchen with almost black and white. Sure, Buck's is dark blue (which is also a nice nod to him being in the firefighter position, thus closely resembling the uniform color vs. Eddie being in civvies and a high contrast white), but they wear highly contrasting colors. The difference in brightness is almost jarring, though it perfectly underlines the drift we see between them at that point.

And guess what this called me back to? Oh yeah.

Buck and Eddie contrasting too hard a) tends to end in disaster and b) is beautifully turned on its head here. Last time, Buck in the dark colors showed him at one of the lowest points in his life and Eddie getting him out. In this scene, we saw both trapped on their side, not really finding a way to connect. And it will conclude later on with Buck getting Eddie out.

The trend of contrasting them continues throughout. In that same episode, we have the switch from white and black undershirt or hoodie, coupled with a contrasting piece:

I guess Eddie retreating to those "natural" colors (50 Shades of Army Green I guess, but we'll talk camouflage later) is already a big hint about his trauma from his time in military coming back up. He's going back to the color scheme of that time, it'd seem. But again, contrast is high, just like them standing at times in different light (Eddie in front of a red/orange background, and Buck having also blue (and red) backgrounds). Yet again, they both literally and figuratively stand on opposite sides of the room and the color scheme.

The communication fails (breaks off as Eddie leaves after Buck texted him to come, realizing that he feels out of place at that gathering because he's not with the firefighters right now), they can't occupy the same space. And shit just goes down thereafter.

We find another variant of that with Buck contrasting Taylor (and to a lesser degree Eddie, too).

Issues arising between the two moving in together for all the wrong reasons is also highlighted by the stark contrast of Buck's and Taylor's clothing. They don't match. They wear almost the exact same color scheme as Eddie and Buck did during Outside Looking In, just that this time, Buck's in the white and Taylor in the dark blue.

Hint much that we see the contrast/coupling between a romantic pairing and the Buddie buddies? Hmmmmmm. Methinks not.

Also interesting again to me is how both almost disappear into the background here. Eddie matches the interior of Frank's office. It's gray, cold colors that make him look ashen. Buck fades into the background of the white walls. Like he doesn't exist in his own apartment right now whereas Taylor is much more present (as well as all of those boxes, seriously, she and Ana would get along on that one, all those salads, all those cupcakes, all those boxes...).

And another, just coz I can:

I'll have to dig some more into the blue/red thing in a minute (read 10), but the contrast is also very interesting to me here. While Buck stepped in (inside looking out, I guess), we're still at the very beginning of Eddie's journey towards accepting his problems (and help) and choosing to keep up with therapy. So their clothes still very much contrast the other. Eddie's shirt is greenish, blueish (also still reminiscent of the dream sequence), which makes him almost merge with the couch visually. Buck is the stark contrast to that in the episode before, with red (opposite color). His undershirt's matching Eddie's colors more closely, though.

So throughout the beginning of the second half of season 5, we see Buck and Eddie visually at odds/on the opposite sides of the color scheme. It's a beautiful way to highlight the drift visually while also creating a connection. To figure out what we have in common, we often look at what's different between us. Or in that same vain, in order to come up with definitions, we rely on boundaries. Though setting those boundaries always connects the two.

Speaking of...

And now, from the contrast to harmonization.

While Buck and Eddie are still contrasting in terms of brightness in this scene, the colors are now leaning more towards the same color scheme. Buck's in grey, Eddie's in dark (don't say 50 Shades again, Wacky) green/brown. Both wear textured clothes, which is something we see both of them wearing (Eddie loves 'em slutty, slutty henleys in all the... *don*t say it again* of the rainbow).

But the picture looks a lot more harmonized to me than it did e.g. during the kitchen scene in Outside Looking In. They still stand out, they don't fade into the background, their presence is visible, but they don't feel like they don't belong. Interestingly enough, in the first shot, Buck's and Eddie'd dark pants coupled with the dark wood of the table make for a visual connection.

In fact, Buck seems even more *in tune* with the house right now than Eddie is, which highlights both Buck's presence at the Diaz house as definitely-not-a-guest and also shows Eddie being at odds with himself.

Though interestingly enough, Buck's shirt matches Eddie's clothes from the dream sequence very closely in terms of colors.

Foreshadowing? Dunno, just find it interesting.

And now let's take a moment to appreciate that view for all the wrong reasons:

For one, it's a wonderful callback to the elf and the you-two-have-an-adorable-son scene with Buck wearing the darker chequers like Eddie and Eddie wearing the earthly colors Buck sported in that scene.

But again, the three of them harmonize towards the end of Dumb Luck, which highlights the first steps towards healing *together*. All wear different shades of natural, earthly colors, Chris as the lightest, Eddie matching him with the undershirt, still in the military color coding otherwise, and Buck somewhat darker, but still connected with the brown to fit right in. They fit into the scene. Eddie and Chris even more so, almost having a perfect match in terms of brightness and color.

Although, I will say Buck's and Eddie's continuous switch from very dark to very light's been very interesting for me, too. Because it continues to give me the feeling that they are going back and forth, trying to balance between extremes, and it still takes time for them to balance it out. But it feels like they are already getting there in that scene. A step closer, one at a time.

Though my guessing is that if we see them on a similar color scheme towards the end of the season or early on in the next, that might be a good indicator as to whether they are really on the right track again. At least that's my guessing.

Camouflage is next!

As pointed out earlier... many years ago, it'd seem, as I look at the watch, wondering why I'm still typing... Eddie's back on the camouflage colors. And since Tumblr is being an ass with just 10 pics per post, you'll have to scroll up again to look at it. *sigh*

Either way. Eddie's been shown continuously featuring those colors, but now with the season coming full swing when it comes to his Afghanistan trauma, I just find it oh so telling that this is one of his favored color schemes. He's retreating to colors that closely resemble that time. And especially in the last couple of episodes, they looked even more like military-style clothing. Sometimes boxy, like they don't really fit, wrinkled and disheveled during his breakdown, etc.

I also think it's not without coincidence that he featured that same color scheme when he broke up with Ana. Eddie's been working his defenses up. He's been going to war against himself and his traumas instead of dealing with them through the proper channels. And now it's coming back to him all the way.

I think it's also a nice pointer about him hiding, coz, you know, camouflage. Those colors don't stick out. Compared to what Buck tends to wear at times, he seems definitely more toned down, to the point that he sometimes fades into the background. That trend has been particularly jarring for me when he went for gray in the session with Frank. He was almost one with the gray background.

Now, onto the red and blue!

Red and blue's always a great treat for all of my fandom obsessions (seriously, I will slap that on any fandom I participate in and I WILL DO IT AGAIN). So I'll gladly go down that rabbit hole of no return.

Sure, obvious things are obvious: Red and blue make up a huge part of a show focused on firefighters. We get it. But for Buck and Eddie, I find this particularly interesting for a great many reasons.

I mean, we've seen this in all kinds of variations, surely. The contrast of blue and red, how often it features in films. Think red vs. blue pill in The Matrix (funny enough, accepting the truth (red) vs. continuing self-deception (blue) is very much what Buck and Eddie are in for as well).

Or Red Oni and Blue Oni from Japanese folklore: red as headstrong, wild and blue as more level-headed and collected, though both can inherit traits from both… in Buck's and Eddie's case one of them being that they are certified dorks who can't do math for shit.

Or general color theory/psychology with blue standing for emotions like loyalty, depression, cold, calm, and introspection – and with red representing emotions like passion, speed, desire, strength, and love and back and forth and back again and yadda.

I guess you catch my drift here.

Let's begin with *not* Buck and Eddie but Eddie and *Bobby*.

We have the factor of contrast again (Eddie matching the couch, Bobby matching the armchair lol). Also, kudos to whoever it was who pointed out that Buck moved the armchair to watch Eddie. Because that just further adds to the point and all of my feelings.

The colors are more toned down in this scene, which makes it very easy on the eye. Bobby fits in seamlessly. It's an easy transition, even after Eddie had not at all a nice transition from sleep to waking up. Both are in a darker color scale in contrast to the light background, but considering that some heavy stuff went down between them, this actually fits quite well.

Again, I think it's striking that Bobby and Buck are matching on the red, whereas we see Eddie with blue/greenish clothes. Bobby and Buck both seem to represent the life and love that Eddie so desperately needs to find his strength to continue dealing with his traumas. They represent warmth in a place where Eddie must be feeling very cold right now.

And we see that in the contrast with Buck's brightly red shirt and Eddie's toned-down blueish shirt in the dream sequence as well.

Okay, first off, Eddie's shirt is grayish not entirely blue, I know, but it has some blueish undertone if you asked me (at least it's not a warm kind of gray). Buck's red as a firetruck, which is probably already half the point. :D

🚒🚒🚒

Buck rushing in during the previous episode, breaking through that door (inside looking out) with matching red clothing is *chef's kiss* from the costuming department for all the right reasons.

Buck represents life breaking through to Eddie when he's caught up in some of his worst nightmares and the cold realization that none of the people he saved in Afghanistan are alive anymore. When he's caught up in death, Buck comes in as life, breaks the door in and steps inside.

Even when he leaves to take care of the life Eddie has and doesn't really know what to do with (taking care of Christopher in his stead for a while), Buck leaves "traces" by having Bobby come over and make sure Eddie doesn't wake up alone. Visually, Buck and Bobby are that lifeline for Eddie.

Think red strings and people that love each other that are connected by it, and then LET'S SCREECH TOGETHER.

Buck's presence lingers in Bobby's presence, it's more toned down, calm, but it's also the perfect callback to the earlier times of their relationship: Buck clearing things with Bobby, so Christopher could come over to the station when Eddie's grandma was in hospital. Even though Buck's not in the room, he made sure not to leave Eddie in the cold. The moment he's awake, someone's there, someone who's warm and loving towards him, hands him hot beverages.

And it serves as the perfect contrast to life draining out of Eddie when he is bleeding in the dream sequence like he bled from being shot by the sniper and in Afghanistan. While red was a "threat" here (bleeding), it's actually turned on its head when he wakes up and red is actually the lifeline that gets him home, back to life.

Also, as someone pointed out (though I can't find the post right now!!!) oh so brilliantly: The callback to Buck and Christopher and the tsunami arc is just also SO ON POINT.

Also also, HOW DARE THEY??? UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!!

Anyway. My point is: Buck to the rescue – just that this time, he comes for Eddie. And this is such a wonderful way to bring this full circle that I can't even begin to talk about it in all of its detail.

I guess more could be said about the outfits. And people will probably have already done so or will do it better than I can in my mad rambling. But HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT. That REALLY happened. It's ACTUALLY happening.

I'm VERY curious about the next costume choice we're going to see and if there's anything to my rambling, moving forward, but as of now... I'm very content with those wonderful colors and how they feed right into my Buddie needs.

So here's to hoping, peeps!

#buddie #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 season 5 spoilers #911 season 5 #evan buck buckley #the random rambling continues!

[leossmoonn]

Unexpected Love [Kai Parker] || Part One

masterlist 

pairing - kai parker x fem, human!reader

type - fluff, angst

note / request  - this request is by @mrs-parker-1972​ “The reader is on the other side with the others, and gets trapped there with bonnie and damon, or you can just skip to part when all three of them are in the prison world. So i am not really sure on how the reader meets kai, but you can improvise that part, I trust you. And then well, um, the reader and kai will hate each other and despise each other (damon and bonnie are in the real time world I guess?) And then kai does something human for the reader (you know, coz he doesn't have feelings) and it wakes something in him and the reader and kai grow close to each other, and I really don't know what else, but like can you, make their time in the prison world longer?? (Kai and the reader's) . And please it would be hilarious if you could add some comedic lines if damon, coz you know, damon is damon. And it would be AWESOME if you added the deleted scene of kai Parker where he is really emotional, and he says that after the reader touches a really soft spot about his child hood. And please make the reader human.” 

note - so i was planning on just rewatching the 6th season and copying scenes but i discovered it would take so long lol, so i split this into a 4 parts. i also didn’t really copy anything from the show, just the scene at the end. so most of this is just my writing. part two is at the end and word count is 7k+

summary - you and kai fall in love over a period of time after spending time with each other in the prison world

warnings / includes - language, alcohol, crying, fighting, 

————

*gif isn't mine*

“Maybe if you didn’t take so long to look for Alaric, we would still be alive!” I exclaimed. 

“Hey, you’re the one who insisted that you have a whole conversation with Lexi about the last few years,” Damon spat. 

“Yeah, but we were both already with Bonnie. You were miles away!” 

“You two stop it!” Bonnie shouted, putting her hands up in-between Damon and I. 

“No, Damon needs to know that this is his fault,” I glared.

“Oh, hardly. Why were you even there, again?” Damon asked. 

“Because you twisted my neck, jackass. Which thank you, by the way,” you smiled sourly. 

“Man, I wish you weren’t wearing that ring. You being dead right now would really-”

“Damon!” Bonnie yelled again. “I’m serious. You two need to stop. You’re giving me a headache.”

“Not my fault,” I mumbled, looking down at the road. 

“Liar,” Damon said not-so-quietly. 

“Before you two start again, let me remind you that I’m scared and mad, too. We can’t just fight the whole time, though. We need to see if we can get out. You two have been fighting about this for months, so stop,” Bonnie said. 

“We’re dead, Bon-Bon. We can’t get out,” Damon said. 

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away from them. I couldn’t stand Damon. 

“Where are you going?” Damon exclaimed. 

“To look for a way out, and to get away from you!” I yelled without looking back. 

“See? She’s useless,” Damon muttered behind my back. 

I let out a long, distressed sigh. “I’m going back home.”

“Same. I need some food,” Bonnie said, catching up with me. 

We walked for miles until we got to Damon’s house. I was sweating and panting by the time we got there. We had no cars so it was a good 5 mile walk.

“Need any water?” Damon asked as we walked inside his house. 

“Yes, please,” I breathed out. 

I trudged over to the couch, flopping down and taking my sneakers off. Damon came back over with a big class of cold water. I smiled at him gratefully, standing up to take it. Damon had other ideas, though. He lifted the glass up to the top of his head, making it hard for me to grab it. 

“Oh, c’mon. You’re such a dick!” I whined, jumping up. My fingertips skimmed the bottom the glass, but I still was just a little too short to grab it. 

“Say that magic words,” Damon smirked.

I rolled my eyes. “Thank you, oh great wise one.”

Damon smiled happily, setting the glass down on the table. 

“Jerk,” I muttered, taking a long sip of the water. 

“You love me!” Damon sang. “Nope,” I shook my head. 

“Hey, we need to get more food,” Bonnie stated from the kitchen.

“Then go and get it, Bon-Bon,” Damon muttered. 

“I was just about to, Damon,” Bonnie spat.

“Maybe you can go and learn magic again, too,” Damon snickered. 

I turned my head to him. glaring. “Wow, you are just full of shit today. Huh, Damon?”

Damon rolled his eyes at my insult. “Yeah, well, I don’t want to be stuck here. I want to see Elena.”

“And you will! Who knows, maybe I’ll get my magic back. While I’m out I’ll go and practice magic,” Bonnie shrugged off Damon’s insult. 

“Good idea. I’ll go with you,” I smiled, standing up and slipping back on my shoes. 

“With all do respect Bonnie, you haven’t been able to do magic ever since you became the anchor. What makes you think you can do it now?” Damon asked.

“Just have faith, Damon. She can do it. I know it,” I smiled at Bonnie, who smiled gratefully back at me.

“Fine. But are you guys gonna leave me all alone?” Damon whined. 

“Yep,” I nodded, walking over to the door. 

“Who’s the rude one now?” Damon challenged. I put a finger up to my chin and hummed, pretending that I was thinking hard. I then put on a charming smile. 

“Still you. Ready Bonnie?” I turned to the girl next to me who was putting on a jacket. 

“Yep. See you later, Damon,” Bonnie smiled and waved. 

“See you,” I nodded. 

Damon waved goodbye as we shut the door behind us. I walked with Bonnie until we split off. She went to her grandmother’s house, while I went to the little supermarket a few miles out. 

Walking there was a pain in the ass. I had my car keys with me, but I couldn’t seem to find my car. Even though this place had everything else; Damon’s house, my house, Bonnie’s grandmother’s house. Even Elena’s house. Just not my car, which pissed me off, but I knew I couldn’t start to get mad again. Getting angry and upset wouldn’t help us get out of here. 

I walked up to the supermarket and entered the market, expecting someone to be at the register, but no one was there. I laughed at myself for expecting someone. Every time I’ve gone out, I’ve always expected to see people. But I remind myself that I’m dead. Of course no one would be here. We were all alone. Those cars outside were just there because this was just a very real, very confusing after-life. 

I grabbed a shopping cart and started getting the stuff we needed. Eggs, milk, fruit, vegetables, bread. I then got some soda and water bottle cases, some bags of chips and sweets. I went over to the frozen food section and got a few microwavable dinners and some ingredients to make food like chilli and tacos. I went around the store once more, making sure I got everything we needed. I passed one shelf, stopping once I realised that something was missing. 

“I thought there were pork rinds here,” I muttered. 

Merry-go-round music then started to play. I turned a full 360, trying to see if there was anybody in the store with me. No one was here. I went outside of the store, seeing the little merry-go-round spinning. 

“That’s weird,” I mumbled. 

I heard the sound of flapping and my head snapped to the sound. I saw someone pass by in a flash. Goosebumps sprung up on my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck raised. I got this uneasy feeling in my stomach as my mind went to disturbing thoughts.

“Hello?” I called out. 

I walked further into the parking lot, hearing the noise again. I sighed as I realised it was probably just Damon pulling a prank on me. 

“Very funny, Damon! You’ve freaked me out, good job. You can come out now!” I exclaimed, my eyes searching the open area. 

The merry-go-round came to a stop and I let out a deep breath to try and calm myself down. Bonnie, Damon, and I were the only ones here. No one was going to hurt me… Right?

The merry-go-round music started up again suddenly. I jumped in surprise and fear, doing another 360.

“Must be on a timer,” I muttered. 

“False,” an unfamiliar, matter-of-fact voice spoke behind me. 

I froze in my spot, afraid to turn around as I knew that definitely wasn’t Damon. 

“Don’t be scared. I won’t hurt you,” the voice said, getting closer to me. 

The person appeared in front of me. I stiffened up more as the voice belonged to a man. A very attractive man, might I add. He had a big, teasing smile on his face. His blue eyes danced around my face, studying me as I studied him. He had brown hair that was combed up, wearing jeans, a black t-shirt, a green jacket and carrying a bag of pork rinds.

“Oh, you’re the one who stole the pork rinds. Who are you?” I asked. “I’m Kai,” the man held his free hand out.

My eyes flickered down to his arm and back up to his eyes. I put my hand out gingerly, slipping my hand into his slowly. I kept eye contact as we shook hands. My stomach did flips as we touched. 

“Nice to meet you, Kai. I’m Y/n,” I offered him a friendly smile. 

“Oh, I know,” Kai shrugged. I furrowed my brows, instinctively pulling my hand away from his. 

“How?” I asked. 

“I’ve been watching you and your friends for a while,” he admitted. 

“Oh,” I said, my eyes wide in shock. 

“Yep! It’s so nice to have friends now. Man, I have been really lonely,” he chuckled. 

“We aren’t friends. And what do you mean you’ve been lonely. Are you dead, too? Have you been stuck here as long as us, too?” I asked. 

Kai frowned, stepping closer to me. “Why all the questions? Don’t you want to get to know me?”

“Um,” I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, stepping back so there was distance between us. 

“Am I making you uncomfortable? Sorry about that. It’s been a while since I’ve had face-to-face type human interaction,” he chuckled, looking down to the ground. 

“No, it’s fine. Anyways, are you dead, too?” I repeated one of my burning questions. 

“No! I am very much alive. Well, I think so. You can kiss me to find out, though,” he flirted. 

I felt the tip of my ears grow warm as his suggestion. “No, thanks.” 

“Oh! I’m doing it again. God, sorry. You are just so pretty and i get nervous when I’m around girls. Especially ones like you.”

I chuckled, my grip on the shopping cart tightening. “So, you said you have been lonely. For how long, exact?”

“Long time. I’m not sure. It’s 1994, though,” he explained. 

My eyes bulged out of my head. “What?! It’s 1994?”

“Yep. There’s literally newspapers everywhere,” he snorted. 

“Well, I haven’t really been observant, I guess. What are we doing in 1994?”

“We’re stuck!” He explained. “Oh, damn,” I muttered. 

“Yeah, it sucks, but now you guys are here to keep me company!” He grinned. 

I smiled politely at him, getting ready to turn around and go back home. “Right. Well, I gotta go. My friends are expecting me for dinner. Maybe you could uh… You could um, come to dinner?”

His eyes widened in surprise. I kept on my smile, shifting the weight in my feet. 

“Really?” He asked. 

“Yeah, why not! Um, chilli sound good?” I asked. “Perfect. I’ll bring drinks,” he suggested. 

“Sounds great. Well, um, see you later?” I proposed, getting ready to turn around. 

“Yep,” he smiled. “Great,” I chuckled, looking down shyly. I began to turn around, but Kai stopped me. 

“Why don’t I drive you there? It’d be tedious of you to carry the cart all the way home, right?” Kai asked. 

I turned back around, “Um… Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Are you sure, though?” 

“Positive.”

My smiled widely, giggling a little. “Well, yeah, I’d really appreciate it.”

“Great. My car’s over here,” He said and pointed to a dark blue Chevy. 

“Wow, this is a really cool car,” I said, wheeling the car to it. “Yeah, I know,” he smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

I opened up the trunk and loaded the groceries in the car. I then walked over to the passenger seat and got in, buckling and waiting for Kai to get in the driver’s seat. We got to Damon’s place in 10 minutes. I was very thankful I had met him, even though he was a little bit of a weirdo. Kai parked in the entry way and he helped me take in the groceries. 

“Hey, Damon! Is Bonnie home yet?” I called out. 

“Yeah! I am,” Bonnie came out from the kitchen. Her smile faltered as he saw Kai standing next to me. “Who, uh, who is this?” “Oh!” I giggled. “This is Kai. We met at the supermarket.”

“Oh, really? Hi, Kai,” Damon narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Hi, Damon!” Kai said cheerfully. “How the hell do you know my name?” Damon asked. 

“Oh, he’s just uh… He’s just been observing us and stuff,” I explained. 

“Hm, not creepy at all,” Damon muttered. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Kai. Are you joining us for dinner?” Bonnie asked. 

“Yeah, I hope that’s okay,” Kai said. “Yeah! It’s fine, guys, right?” I asked. 

“Sure,” Bonnie nodded. 

“Great! I brought drinks, too,” he said, holding a bag filled with bourbon and whiskey. 

“Great, but we already have some,” Damon said, gesturing to the liquor cabinets. 

“Oh,” Kai frowned. “But it’s fine! We’ll drink your’s,” I said. 

“Great,” Kai perked up again. “Let’s get dinner started, yeah?” I suggested, walking over to the kitchen. 

Everyone nodded in agreement and helped with dinner. Kai mostly helped. Damon got bored in the middle and went to his room to do God know’s what, while Bonnie went to sit on the couch and watch 90′s classics. 

“Thanks for helping with dinner,” I said. “No problem. You are an amazing cook,” Kai complimented. 

“You haven’t even tasted the food,” I chuckled. 

“Well, you seem to know the recipe and whatnot. And it smells amazing.”

“Well, thank you,” I smiled, turning and looked at him. 

My eyes met his and a wave of butterflies washed over me. I looked into his mysterious blue eyes, getting lost in them quickly. 

“Is dinner done yet?” Damon asked, interrupting the moment. 

I jumped away from Kai in an instant, hanging my head low in embarrassment.

“Yeah,” I muttered, walking away and getting bowls out. I poured the chilli in each bowl, bringing them to the table with a glasses of Kai’s alcohol. 

“Dig in.” I sprinkled cheese over my chilli. 

“Let me take a sip of this bourbon first,” Damon said, holding the glass up skeptically. He brought the glass up to his lips, taking a slow and small sip. As soon as the bourbon touched his lips, he dropped the glass on the floor and his hand flew to his throat. 

“Oh, my God. Damon, are you okay?” I jumped up from my seat, running over to him. 

“V-Vervain,” Damon gasped. “Vervain… What?” I gulped, my eyes immediately meeting with Kai’s. 

“You!” I pointed. “Oops,” Kai chuckled, getting out of his seat. 

“Not so fast,” Bonnie said, grabbing his arm to sit him back down. Kai grabbed her arm, too. Bonnie started screaming and holding his hand in pain. 

“What? What are you doing to her!” I exclaimed, going over to them. 

“Taking her magic,” Kai shrugged. “What! B-But… How?” I asked. 

“She’s a witch, so am I. Well, not exactly. I’m more of what you say… a siphon,” he explained as if I was supposed to know. 

“Well, whatever are you, get off of her!” I yelled, taking ahold of his jacket and pulling him away. I stumbled back, still holding onto him. 

“I wasn’t done yet!” Kai whined. 

“I don’t care! You were hurting her,” I glared at him, shoving him out of the way and going to Bonnie. 

“Hey, did he burn you? Let’s get your arm under some water,” I said, grabbing her shoulder gently. 

“No, I’m not burned. It just hurt like hell. Ugh! Why did you do that?!” Bonnie exclaimed angrily at Kai. 

“Because I needed the power to do this,” Kai said, holding up his hand. He made the bottle of bourbon float up and poured it all over Damon. 

“Stop!” I shrieked, running over to shove his arm down, but he sent me flying across the room with his other hand. 

“Sorry, princess, but I can’t let you ruin this,” Kai said. 

I groaned, holding the back of my head. “Screw you.”

“Oh, I wish you could,” Kai winked at you. 

I gagged in disgust and got up slowly, groaning at the paining my back. “Not anymore.” Kai chuckled will finishing pouring the bottle of bourbon on Damon, then lifting him up and throwing him against the wall.

“B-Bonnie. D-Do mag-gic,” Damon whimpered.  “Yeah, please do,” I nodded, balancing myself on the island counter. 

“Yeah, please do, Bonnie. Please humiliate yourself in front of your friends. It’s so sad that you can’t do magic. I’ve been watching you for weeks now. What’s even the point of you trying? What’re you gonna do, fail at me? It’s embarrassing. I’m embarrassed for you,” Kai taunted her. 

Bonnie gave him a death glare and looked around the room, spotting a few candles. She closed her eyes and held up her hand. “Phasmatos Incendia.”

I watched in amazement as the candles lit. Bonnie then turned to Kai, who had a shocked look on his face. She grinned at him, cocking her head to the side. 

“I’m embarrassed for you,” she mocked him. 

“Dammit,” Kai muttered. “Looks like I have to kill you now. I was planning on for that to be later.” “Oh, no you don’t,” Damon remarked, getting up slowly. He then sped over to Kai and before Kai could react, Bonnie held Kai’s arms back while Damon punched Kai. 

“You’re going down, wacko,” Damon muttered, taking Kai’s head in his hands and slamming him down on the floor, knocking Kai out. 

“Are you okay, Damon?” I asked immediately. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get him chained up,” Damon said. 

“Yeah, okay,” I nodded, going over and lifting Kai up form under his arms. 

“Good job, Bon-Bon. About time,” Damon patted Bonnie on the back. 

“Thanks,” Bonnie gave him a small smile. 

Bonnie helped me chain up Kai to a chair, Damon going on the couch to heal and rest. 

“I can’t believe you liked him,” Damon spoke up after a while. 

“I didn’t,” I protested. “You sure? You were drooling all over him when he first came into the house. You're type is crazy,” Damon smirked. 

I rolled my eyes, wanting to change the subject. “I think the whiskey he brought also has vervain in it.”

“He’s right, Y/n. You have horrible taste in guys,” Bonnie teased. 

I scoffed. “Un-called for! Damon’s supposed to be the rude one.”

“It’s not being rude if I’m telling the truth,” Bonnie smirked. “Yeah, well, I guess I liked him. Not anymore, though,” I sighed, sitting down on the couch next to Damon. 

“Good. We would definitely have had to take you to therapy,” Damon smirked. 

I laughed with him, letting out a long sigh. “I just still can’t believe there is someone here with us.” “Yeah, and he’s a psycho,” Damon spat. 

“What're we gonna do with him when he wakes up?” I asked. 

“Interrogate him. See what he knows, what he wants, how to get out of here,” Damon answered. 

“Well, I know a little bit about what he knows,” I said. “We’re in 1994.”

“Yeah, I know,” Damon muttered. “What, how?” I asked. 

“While you were gone we found a newspaper. Apparently, we have been re-living May 10th since we got here,” Bonnie said sourly. 

“Oh. Great,” I shook my head. “Anything else you guys found out?”

“Yes, actually. Kai is a murderer,” Bonnie said. She grabbed a newspaper from the coffee table and held it up to my face. She pointed to the left side where there were four headshots of teenagers. 

“Family Massacred in Portland. The only one missing was the oldest boy. A 22 year-old named Malachai,” I read aloud. I then looked up to Kai who was still knocked out. “I-Is he Malachai?”

“All signs point to yes,” Damon said. “My God. I liked a murderer? Jesus, what is wrong with me?” I muttered, setting the newspaper down. 

“Really? Your type in men is what you’re worried about?” Damon scoffed. 

I smiled a little. “No, no! It’s just… Weird to me. Anyways, if he knows the way out, we have to get out without him, okay?”

“Deal,” Bonnie nodded. 

“Do you guys want to go to bed?” I asked. “Well, someone has to stay and watch,” Damon gestured to Kai. 

“Why don’t you. You’re the immortal,” I nudged his shoulder. 

“Fine. I’ll alert you guys when he wakes up,” Damon said. 

“Great. Thanks, Damon,” Bonnie smiled. “Mhm. No prob!” Damon exclaimed as Bonnie and I climbed up the stairs. 

“He is kinda cute,” Bonnie said once we reached one the guest bedroom.

“Who? Damon?” I asked. “No, Kai,” Bonnie explained. 

I raised my brows, my mouth formed in the shape of an ‘O’. 

“What?” Bonnie asked. “I cannot believe you just said that about our enemy. You’re never this two-faced,” I smirked. 

Bonnie rolled her eyes, “Yeah, well, he’s still a sociopath.”

“True that. Hey, wanna have a sleepover? Maybe have some fun,” I suggested. 

“Yes! Oh, I wish that Care and Elena were here,” Bonnie sighed. 

“Me, too, Bon. We’ll get to see them soon, though.” I put a hand on her shoulder. 

“I hope,” Bonnie smiled.  I smiled back and went to the closet, finding a pair of sweats and a tank top. Bonnie and I got ready for bed, staying up for a good hour talking, finally passing out across the bed. 

I was the first one to wake up. I rose up slowly and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Once I opened them fully, I looked around the room with complete confusion. Once I looked at the clock, though, I finally realised that I was in a repeating loop of May 10th, 1994. You’d think waking up for months in this place, I would get used to it, but I really never have. Not yet, at least. 

“Disappointing, right?” Bonnie spoke next to me. I turned, chuckling in agreement. “Most definitely.”

“At least we got a full night’s sleep. It’s 10 AM,” Bonnie said. “True,” I nodded, getting up and stretching. 

“Let’s go and see the sociopath living downstairs,” I groaned. 

“I’ll need coffee before I see him,” Bonnie said, getting up and putting on a robe.

“Oh, me, too,” I chuckled. 

We both went downstairs after freshening up, going to the kitchen immediately.

“Um, hello? Did you forget about us?” Damon asked form the living room. 

“Yep,” Bonnie smiled at him. Damon rolled his eyes, going over to us. 

“Hurry up, sleeping beauties. Malachai is awake,” Damon said, his eyes going wide as he said Kai’s full name. 

“Please, it’s Kai,” Kai said. “Hm, nope. I read Malachai in the newspaper,” Damon gave Kai his signature sarcastic smile. 

Bonnie and I laughed at Damon defying Kai. I poured myself some coffee and made myself some eggs and toast before going over to Damon. 

“Alright, I am ready to get this interrogation on,” I smiled, sitting down on the couch. 

“Me, too,” Bonnie said, sitting next to me. 

“Wow, you look beautiful when just waking up,” Kai complimented. 

“Drop the act, weirdo,” I rolled my eyes. 

“I was actually talking to the green-eyed beauty next to you,” Kai grinned. 

I couldn’t help but frown. My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach and I looked down at my food, picking up the toast and nibbling on the crust. 

“You can still drop the act. We want answers,” Bonnie demanded. 

“Ooh, you are so sexy while dominant,” Kai winked. “And you are so gross and desperate,” Bonnie stated. 

“If you don’t give us answers, I’ll snap your neck,” Damon threatened. 

I looked up and saw Kai pursing his lips. 

“It’s so funny,” Kai stated. “What is?” Damon asked. 

“Well, you three seem to hate me, yet you haven’t killed me yet,” Kai explained. 

“Because we need information from you, and you are withholding for no reason,” Bonnie explained further. 

“Fine. But I want Y/n to ask the questions,” Kai said, his blue eyes landing on me. 

I glared at him right away. “Why me? You seem pretty infatuated with Bonnie.”

“Jealousy is not a good look on you, princess,” he spoke playfully.

I had to fight the butterflies that were swarming in my stomach. “And being annoying is not a good way for us to not kill you.”

Kai laughed, “Fair. So, what do you guys want to know?”

“Why are we here? Is this my personal hell?” Damon asked quickly. 

I furrowed my brows and looked up at  him. “Why do you think this is your personal hell?”

“Well, first of all my car is parked in the entry way. Yeah, I noticed that. And second… There was something bad I did during May 10th, 1994,” Damon sighed. 

“Damon… What did you do?” Bonnie’s voice wavered. “Yeah, Damon, what did you do?” Kai pressed on. 

“You,” Damon pointed to Kai. “Shut it. And… You guys would hate me if I told you. Like, hate me for real.”

“Oh, I bet it’s not too bad,” I smiled comfortingly. 

“Nope, it’s bad,” Damon sighed. “Well, then tell us,” Bonnie pushed. 

Damon sighed, walking from the back of the couch to the armchair. He slumped down. “I… I killed a pregnant woman.”

The plate that was once in my hand clattered to the ground. 

“You what!?” Bonnie exclaimed. 

“Not one of my best moments,” Damon sighed. 

“W-Why?” I stuttered, racking my brain for any type of logical explanation. 

“Cause I was mad at Stefan,” Damon shrugged. “And that justifies the fact that you killed a pregnant woman?” Bonnie shouted. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know! I’m a horrible person, okay?” Damon exclaimed, shooting up from his seat. 

“You’re worse than I thought. How can Elena love you!” Bonnie scoffed. 

I stood up in-between them. “Okay, not the time, guys. We need to ask Kai questions.”

“And before you do that, I need you guys to get a few things for me,” Kai said. 

I groaned, “What now?”

“Well, I need to make a list, and I can’t if I’m all tied up.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine.” I went over to him, untying the rope. I then got a paper and pencil and handed them to him. 

“Thank you, honey,” Kai gave me an eye-blinding grin. 

“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered, going to the kitchen to get a dustpan to sweep up the broken pieces of the plate. 

“Alright!” Kai announced after a few moments. “All done.” “Great. I’ll go out,” I said, going over and taking the paper out of his hand. Kai reached out to stop me, though. 

“Nope. I want you to stay,” Kai said. “Why?” I asked. 

“Because you’re so cute,” he complimented. “Shut up. I will kill you,” I sneered, jerking my arm out of his grasp. 

“I’ll go. I don’t want to be around Damon,” Bonnie snarled, snatching the piece of paper. 

“Bon, c’mon,” Damon said helplessly, following her to the door. 

They both went out of the house. I could hear Bonnie shouting from the outside. 

“Finally alone together,” Kai said. 

“Yeah, no. I’m going upstairs,” I said, turning on my heels. 

“If you stay I'll tell you everything,” Kai said. 

I stopped in my track, turning back to him slowly. “Really?” 

He nodded. “I promise.”

“Fine,” I sighed, sitting back down on the couch. Kai got up and walked over. He sat down right next to me. 

I huffed and got up, sitting in the armchair. 

“Fine, I’ll talk to you this way, I guess. So, what do you want to know?” Kai asked. 

“Why did you kill your family?” I asked.  “Well, I was born into a coven of witches. The Gemini coven, to be exact. I was the black sheep of my family. The one whose magical ability was sucking the power out of people. My family hated me. My father hated me. He never showed me love or tried to understand me,” he explained. 

“And that’s why you killed your whole family? Because you never got love?” I asked. 

“Yep. Basically,” he shrugged. “Not a good enough reason,” I shook my head. 

“Well, what were you expecting?”  

I sighed, “I don’t know.”

“Precisely. Anyways, that’s why this is my personal hell. Not Damon’s.”

“How do we get out of here?” I asked. 

“Well, there’s this thing called an ascendent. That will take us home,” he explained. 

“Okay, what is it?” I asked. 

“A mystical relic that was created by my family. It can harnesses the power of a celestial event and creates a portal, to which we can all then go home.”

“And where is the ascendent?” I asked. “I have no idea,” Kai smiled. 

“Ugh! Seriously? How are we going to get out of here now?” “Well, the stuff I asked Bonnie to get will help us. Don’t worry,” he shrugged. 

“Okay, well, I’m going to go and get ready for the day,” I said, standing up. 

“And you’re going to leave me here alone? What if I kill you in the shower?” Kai asked. 

“Well, I need a shower. So, if you do, at least I’ll be released from this world,” I smiled sweetly, walking off. 

I heard him chuckle behind me. I sighed quietly and climbed up the stairs. I could not wait to get out of there. 

I came back downstairs after 30 minutes. I first looked in the living room, seeing Bonnie and Damon with Kai. 

“Took you long enough,” Damon said.

I rolled my eyes, “I assume Kai filled you in?” “Yep. I have to do a spell now to find the ascendent,” Bonnie nodded. 

“And we’re gonna do that with Kai having jam on his fingers?” I asked, pointing to Kai was scooping out jam with his hands. 

“Well, I’m not gonna do the spell. Bonnie will. I’ll just guide her,” Kai explained. 

I hummed in reply and nodded. “Alright, well, let’s get started then.”

Bonnie and Kai went to the dining room table to work. Spreading out a big map and putting some of Kai’s blood on the paper to do a locator spell. 

We watched as she tried a few times before she realised the blood wasn’t moving. 

“It doesn’t feel right,” she sighed. “Maybe I need bigger map.”

“Maybe you’re just out of practice, and you suck at magic now,” Damon said.

“Ignore him, Bonnie. Pretend he’s a white noise machine,” Kai said. “That’s how I used to tune out my siblings.”

“How many siblings?” I asked casually. 

“Seven,” Kai answered. “You know, all of them constantly yammering. But it, uh, taught me how to focus.” He went by Bonnie, looking her in the eye, his gaze traveling down to her lips. 

A pang of jealously hit my heart. I looked down at the ground, not wanting to see them kiss, if they did. 

“Easy there, big brother,” Damon remarked. “She doesn’t know you. At least buy her a drink.”

Bonnie and Kai chuckled, looking at each other. I groaned quietly, going to the kitchen to get myself a drink.

“Hey! Where are you going, princess?” Kai called. 

“Somewhere where you’re not,” I grumbled. 

I got out a bottle of scotch, taking a swig from the bottle. 

“Woah, easy there, princess,” Damon mocked the nickname Kai had given me. 

I glared at him. “Do not call me that.”

“What, I can’t, but Kai can? Sounds like someone still has a crush,” Damon sang. 

“I do not!” 

“You sure you don’t like him? Cause I think you two would make a great fit. He’s crazy and well, you seem to like crazy.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, like you and Elena are a great fit, right? You being the one who keeps breaking up with her and all.”

I then walked past Damon and back into the living room, earning a glare from him. 

“The blood’s moving towards Virginia. Can’t be right,” Kai said. 

“Mm-mm. Spell’s working. It’s showing me Mystic Falls. It feels so… close,” Bonnie said, putting her hand on Kai’s jacket, candles lighting up. 

“It right here,” Bonnie said, pressing her hand into his chest. 

Kai took out the ascendent from his jacket pocket, an expression of shock on his face. “Very good.”

“That’s the ascendent?” I asked. “The one and only,” Kai smiled. 

“Thanks for the mind games, jackass,” Damon said. 

“It was just another little test. To make sure Bonnie’s magic was precise enough for the spell,” Kai explained. “I do believe we’re ready. Pack your bags, we’re going home.”

Kai then walked out of the house and to the front yard, stopping every few moments. 

“You’re wandering around like a crazy man, why?” Damon asked. 

“I’m looking for the exact right spot,” Kai answered, holding the ascendent up to the sky. “We need to find where the power of the eclipse is focused.”

“You know, you could have just showed us the ascendant to begin with,” Bonnie said. 

“Yeah, but I wanted to feel your hand on my chest,” Kai smirked. 

A frown rested upon my lips and I looked down at the ground. 

“He is so annoying,” Bonnie muttered. 

“You’re just not used to guys hitting on you,” Damon said. “You know, I can’t wait to get out of here,” Bonnie glared. 

She then went next to me. I held my head back up, but not looking at her.

“Hey, how you holding up?” She asked. “Oh, fine,” I shrugged. “I’m getting kind of bored, though.”

“Yeah, I feel you… Hey,” Bonnie said, putting her hand on my arm. I turned to her, “Yeah?”

“Kai is a sociopath. He’s just flirting with us to get a rise out of each other. I know you don’t like him anymore, but that attraction you felt to him is probably still there. Let’s not let him tear us apart, okay? We’re stronger than some guy,” she smiled. 

I smiled with her, perking up. “Yeah. You’re right. Sorry, just between him calling me pet names and the fact that Damon is always so pissy, it’s hard to be optimistic.”

“Well, I can do magic again now, so there’s one reason!” “Very true. Good job, by the way,” I complimented. “Why, thank you,” Bonnie chuckled.

We followed Kai and Damon, beginning to talk about our plans for when we got home. I looked down at the ground as she talked about her plans with Jeremy. I kicked around a rock, a pair of shoes appearing in front of me. It was Kai. Before my body could stop, I knocked into him.

His hands supported my waist, holding me up. My eyes met his and for a split second, I could see the human in him. I pushed him away though, scoffing in the process. 

“A little warning next time?” 

Kai just smiled down at me, then looking up to the sky. “The eclipse will happen directly overhead. In perfect alignment with the Gemini constellation. You need to dig under the tunnels below us. We’ll do the spell here,” Kai said 

“Wait, why do we have to dig?” Damon asked.

“Have you never portal-jumped through an eclipse before? Okay, look, the light of the eclipse will shine down and activate the ascendant. You spout a little witchy woo and then, poof! Anyone standing in the circle of light holding the ascendant goes home,” Kai explained. 

“Let me see the spell,” Bonnie said. “When the time comes,” Kai smiled.

He then walked past us three. 

“Where are you going?” I asked. “Into town. I need to gather some important supplies,” Kai explained. 

“Y/n, why don’t you watch over him to make sure he isn’t planning to kill us,” Damon said. 

“What! No!” I protested. “You really want to be stuck with us? Digging a hole?” Bonnie asked. 

“Not really,” I sighed. “Fine, I’ll go. See you guys later.” 

“Have fun,” Bonnie smiled. “Oh, you know I will,” I smiled sourly as I followed Kai’s path. 

I jogged to catch up with him. “Hey, Kai! Wait up.”

Kai stopped in his tracks, turning in surprise. “Stalking me?”

“Nope. More like babysitting.”

“Hm. Well, I’m older than you, so technically I would be doing the babysitting,” Kai said. 

“Yeah, like you have any parental instincts. So, where into town are we going?” 

“I thought you hated talking to me,” Kai said. “Just answer the damn question,” I glared. 

“I’m picking up some personal belongings,” Kai explained. 

“Why?” You asked. “Because 1994 has been my home for most of my life. I don’t want to get homesick when I go into the 21st century,” Kai answered.

“Hm, I see. Well, a lot has changed in the last 18 years,” I said. 

“So I can see. They obviously didn’t make girls as pretty as Bonnie back then,” Kai smirked. 

My lips pulled down into another frown. Him complimenting Bonnie was like a stake to the heart. I didn’t know why, but it bothered me a little too much to hear him talk about other girls. It was even worse considering that the girl he was talking about was my best friend.  

“Hey, don’t be so sad. You’re pretty, too,” Kai nudged my shoulder.

“Wow, thanks,” I rolled your eyes. 

“I’m serious! You’re more pretty than Bonnie!” Kai said. “Just want I wanted. You dragging my friend down so I can be complimented,” I hummed. 

Kai rolled his eyes. “Women are so difficult. Look, I meant that you’re really pretty. Bonnie is, too. Just accept the fact I think you’re pretty!”

My face warmed up quickly and I hung my head low. “T-Thanks.”

“Let me guess, not a lot of guys compliment you?”

“They do, but doesn’t mean I don’t get flustered.”

“You seem pretty outgoing to me,” Kai said. 

“Well, that’s probably because I hate you. I’m shy to guys I like,” I explained, putting my head back up. 

“Hm… Or you just think that. You know, girls can be mean when they like a guy.”

“Yeah, in elementary school. Look, I’m not 8 anymore. I know the difference between love and hate and trust me, my feelings for you stand on the hate side.”

“Keep saying that, princess,” Kai remarked. “And stop calling me princess! God, it’s so annoying,” I groaned. 

“C’mon, I know you like it, princess,” Kai teased, poking at my arm. 

I swatted his hand away. “For someone who is a sociopath, you sure like to flirt a lot.”

“I am not a sociopath,” Kai said. “You sure are,” I chuckled. 

“I’m not. I was just treated like the biggest embarrassment and disappointment of my family, and I’ve been stuck here for 18 years. It’s not fun going through what I did,” Kai argued. 

I softened up a little. “Right, yeah. So, how long do we have to walk for?”

“Not very long,” Kai said. 

We walked in a weirdly comfortable silence for 10 more minutes before arriving at a house. 

“This your place I assume?” I asked. 

“Yep. Not the place I grew up in, though,” he said, walking up. “Because you were born in Oregon?” I guessed. 

“Yep. Wow, you pay attention to what I say. So sweet.” I huffed, “Just hurry up.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” I waited for him outside the house, beginning to play with the locket around my neck. I took it off, opening it and smiling nostalgically.

“I miss you guys. I wish you were here,” I said to the pictures, running my fingertips on them. 

“Are you talking to yourself?” Kai’s voice sounded out of nowhere. 

I jumped, immediately shutting the locket. “No. Are you finished?”

“Yep,” he nodded. 

“Good, let’s hurry back.” 

“Who were you talking to?” He asked as we started our journey back to Bonnie and Damon. 

“Nobody,” I answered. “So you were talking to yourself?” Kai pressed. 

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Why?” He asked. 

“It’s none of your business,” I said quickly. I hoped he got the hint that this was something that I would never share. 

“Oh, please? You know, like, everything about me!”

I groaned, “No, Kai! Stop it.”

His eyebrows raised, his lips curling up into a smile. “Alright, Miss Fussy.”

I went in front of him, walking fast. We finally got back to the big hole that was now in the middle of the forrest. 

“Now will you show us the spell?” Bonnie asked, panting. 

“Not yet,” Kai said. “Why? We’ve done everything you want. Just get us out of here,” Damon said. 

“I just… I can’t. Not yet,” Kai shrugged. 

I scoffed, “Now is not the time to be a dick.”

“Wait,” Bonnie said, staring hard at Kai. “He doesn’t know the spell. Which means we don’t need him. Motus.”

Suddenly the pickaxe that Damon had flew up and plunged Kai in the heart, missing my arm by a centimeter. 

“Bonnie!” I shrieked. 

“What? You never liked him anyways,” Bonnie shrugged. “I have my grimoire right here, I’ll find the spell.” Bonnie pulled out the spell book from her backpack. 

“Yeah, and how long is that gonna take?” Damon asked. “Not long if you two let me concentrate,” Bonnie said. 

Damon groaned and walked over to me. “She seems way too calm.”

“She’s not one to freak out like you or Caroline. I’m a little mad at her, too, but I know she’s got this,” I shrugged, taking a seat on the dirt. 

“Find the spell yet, Bon-Bon?” Damon asked, leaning against a tree. 

“It’s been 2 minutes,” I swatted Damon’s leg. “No, but I think the Gemini coven used a Bennett spell to create this place. That's why my grams sent me here,” Bonnie explained. 

I smiled at her, “Great thinking!”

Bonnie thanked me with a nod, holding the ascendent up in her hands and muttering an incantation. My jaw dropped as I saw the ascendent move outwards. 

“And this is why Kai never killed me. He needed a Bennett,” Bonnie smiled triumphantly. 

“See, I told you she knew what she was doing,” I smiled up at Damon. 

“Yeah, well, I did, too. I was just giving her a hard time,” Damon shrugged. 

Bonnie chuckled. “You guys ready to go home?”

“Hell yeah!” I exclaimed and jumped up. 

We all jumped down the hole that Bonnie and Damon dug up, landing in a cave. Bonnie wasted no time dropping her blood onto the ascendant. She muttered the spell, the ascendent winding out further. 

“Ready, guys?” Bonnie asked. 

I nodded, walking up to her and putting my hand under her’s. Damon put his hand under mine. 

“Let’s go home,” I smiled, tears threatening to fall out of my eyes. 

As Bonnie was about to say the spell, an arrow struck just right under my heart and sent me flying. Another arrow also hit Bonnie. I hit a pile of rocks, my head turning to whoever hit me. It was Kai. 

“Forgetting someone?” He asked. “Did you really think I haven’t tried to kill myself before? Because I have.” He loaded up the crossbow again. 

Damon made a move for the ascendent that was now on the floor. 

“Grab that or the next arrow will be in their hearts. Your choice.” Kai threatened. 

Damon sighed and sped over to Bonnie, pulling the arrow out from her body. She screamed in pain, my eyes widening as I watched Kai take the ascendent. 

“Damon!” I exclaimed as Damon as about to feed us his blood. 

Damon fed Bonnie his blood quickly and ran up to Kai, knocking the ascendent out of his hand. My eyes fell to the ascendent as it was close enough for me to try and grab. I tried to reach, but Bonnie was a few steps ahead of me. She then bent down to me, ripping the arrow out of my side. I screamed in pain, tears streaming down my face. 

“We’re gonna get you out of here, okay? Just put pressure on this,” Bonnie said, grabbing her jacket around my wound. 

I shook my head, smiling sadly. “No, I-I won’t make it. You and Damon go. You guys have too much to live for. Me? I have no family there, and we all know Caroline and Elena miss you more.”

“That is so not true,” Bonnie said. “When you were gone at camp for those 3 summers, all Care and Elena could take about was how much they’ve missed you. And I know for a fact that Tyler, Matt, and especially Stefan miss you, too. We are getting you out of here.”

“We are, Y/n. Otherwise Elena would kill me,” Damon groaned from behind me. “I would rather be killed by my hot, vampire girlfriend instead of this psycho. A little help Bonnie?”

Bonnie nodded, muttering a spell that sent Kai flying back. Damon then came over and lifted me up, carrying me over to Bonnie. We stood under the light and I looked up, smiling happily. 

“I’m getting out of here,” I sighed. 

“Not on my watch!” Kai exclaimed. As soon as we started to float up, Kai ran over to Damon and knocked me out of his arms.

“No!” I screamed. 

“Y/n!” Bonnie exclaimed as she shot up in the portal. 

I watched with hot, burning tears as Bonnie and Damon disappeared. I sobbed in pain and sadness, looking at Kai with a watery gaze. 

“Why?!” I screamed. 

“Because like you said, you don’t have any family there. Me neither, so there’s no reason for you to get back to your home,” Kai explained with a shit-eating grin. 

“Screw you,” I muttered distantly. I felt my eyes begin to droop. My breathing was so shallow, I could barely feel my heartbeat. I looked up to the light that was shining down. Where my friends once were. 

“Sleep well, princess. I’ll see you soon.” Was the last thing I heard before I lost all consciousness. 

————

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[peanut-butter-parkerxx]

plane pillow

where peter planned to play video games with ned through the whole flight but fate decided to take another turn....

*A/N: this isnt related to far from home nor the ending of endgame, just pretend infinity and all the movies after didnt exist since i imagine pete 16 in here. i dont know why 16 i just like that age on him lmao, enjoy reading!*

pairing: peter x reader

status: strangerz (well sort of since they haven't talked to eachother but they're in the same school)

NOT PROOF READ BTW SO SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES

peter's POV

"the flight will be amazing! i heard they'd installed the new game we were talking about" i gushed to ned, excited for the whole flight to be filled with video games.

"im excited" ned stated practically jumping from excitement and i shook my head laughing

"OK CLASS!" Mr Harrington clapped his hands getting our attention "we're boarding the plane in a few minutes so pack your stuff and lets goooo" he pointed at our gate dramatically.

we walked to the gate, scanned our ticket and sat on our assigned seats, ned and i sat on the three seater, he took the window seat by winning a 3 round match of rock, paper, scissors *sighs angrily* and i obvious got the middle, kinda scared of who'll sit beside me though.

we had to wait for a few minutes, since we boarded the flight early. ned and i obviously started playing video games, too entranced by the small glowing screen infront of me i haven't realized a girl.

she hadn't really acknowledged me either because she looked tired, i cursed at the screen for losing the game too quickly and my dumb ass still didnt realize a GIRL, MY AGE, looking PRETTY FUCKING ADORABLE was sitting next to me. oh dear god.

after a couple more games and me being the most idiotic teenager known today for not looking at my right to see her  the flight attendant alerted us that the plane will take off so we the screen will freeze any moment. ned and i decided to sleep, it was very early in the morning and we need to rest if we plan on gaming most of the flight.

i closed my eyes and shifted a bit in my seat, and slept. the plain was moving at the time trying to find the best place to take off. i guess i was really tired that i havent felt someone sleeping on my shoulder.

i was peacefully sleeping still agitated from the uncomfortable seat but i heard a loud noise that frightened the life out of me and due to my spidey senses i sensed a hand on my right, so what did i do? i fucking held the hand. hard, may i add, from the fright.

i opened my eyes quickly and jumped a bit, turning around to see who's the stranger that i held hands with, startled as well. i sighed in relief knowing our plane was safe and it was just about to take off. but then i took a good look on the perso- her, took a good look on her, on her? OH MY GOD ITS A GIRL calm down peter and please dont scare her off. i couldnt stop looking at her and to my luck she was looking at me as well, but none of us spoke

i couldnt help but notice the small part of her y/h/c hair that was shown from her hood looked so shiny and smooth, her eyes were the most perfect shade of y/e/c. the extremely large hoodie looked so comfortable on her which made me think of her wearing one of mine, how big and long it'll look on her body sent butterflies to my stomach. she looked small, and precious so fragile yet she held her body confidently.

the voice of the flight attendant echoed through the speakers which made us both stop our trance of one another. even though the lady's voice wasnt scary it still frightened us. i mean no hate towards miss attendant she called me a cutie and gave me extra blankets

but coz we got startled again we held hands....again looking for the sources of the noise. we visibly relaxed once we realized what it was, looked at eachother and laughed, her laugh was angelic and soft, hands down the best sound ive ever head. she looked rather embarrassed from the encounter but i bet you a thousand dollars i look worse, i could practically feel the blood rush through my cheeks once she realized how long ive stared at her

"i- uhm i-im so sorry for sleeping on your shoulder, and- and holding your hand and stuff" she apologized, it only made me even more baffled by her. how could a voice match with a face so perfectly.

"no no its fine uhh i dont mind *nervous laugh* and for the hand thing i was the one who grabbed yours so i-i should be the one apologizing...im sorry" i rubbed the back of my neck. this is why i dont talk to girls, ever. well mj is an exception since shes like the closest thing i have to a friend other than my best friend obviously.

"i-im y/n, by the way" she lifted her hand properly introducing herself

"peter, peter parker" i shook her hand, it was nice feeling the warmth of her hand again. we probably held hands (for the third time today by the way) longer the we should have but who am i to say i was bothered. i definitely wasnt.

"nice to meet you peter" she smiled shaking our hands one last time then sitting it on her lap. scratch what i said about her gorgeous laugh, hearing her say my name was the best thing ive heard in my 16 year of existence. (her laugh is obviously the second best)

before i could ask anything else, the plane decided to finally take off. i adjusted myself to the seat, not turning to my right side anymore and closed my eyes trying to think of smiling puppies. ive been on a plane before, in fact a private one last year but that was it. this is my second time flying away from new york and i was a bit nervous.

y/n somehow noticed my sudden tense form, who am i kidding i looked like i was about to die coz of my nerves. and held my hand. and i immediately opened my eyes again, the feeling of her skin coming in contact with mine brought chills down my spine, good ones obviously

"you looked rather tense, is this ok?" she leaned into my ear so i could hear her. i looked at her confused on why she would want to help me but nodded as a reply. a smile crept on my face and i couldnt seem to take it off.  the take off went smoothly thank god. and ive occasionally squeezed her hand, usually when the plane made very loud sounds. but i made it! woohoo

i didnt know if i should stop holding her hand or not, even though i didnt want to. will she think im a creep? and if i did, will she think im rude? but i guess it didnt seem to bother her if she went back to sleeping. so i figured i should do the same

i shifted in my seat a couple of times trying to get the perfect comfy spot....nothing. this seat will be the death of m-

"you can sleep on my shoulder if you want" she whispered. "i figured since you let me sleep on yours which im very sorry about, you could sleep on mine" she smiled

"thanks, but i dont wanna bother you or make you uncomfortable"

"oh nonsense! my body is screaming right now cheering for me, well partially scolding at me for saying something risky like that to a good looking guy, its ok" she laughed, her eyes widened in shock from what she confessed. i smiled at her and rested my head on her shoulder

"you think im good looking?" i whispered playing with our fingers, i dont know when i got the sudden confidence but hearing someone like her think a loser like me is cute did something to me.

"shut up" she playfully shoved me and i laughed.

"are you from midtown?" i asked her

"no im from queens" she joked

"oh you're definitely from midtown" i chuckled, next thing i know i was having a normal conversation with me laying my head on a girl i just met like we knew eachother for years, it was nice to talk to a girl i potentially thought was cute instead of talking gibberish

she was very understanding and looked like interested into what i was saying, i was gonna skip my geeky side when she asked about what i like but to my surprise, she mentioned it when i asked her the same, she said she loves comics and likes watching sci fi movies. i asked her if she watched star wars and she said she didnt...yet.

"wanna uhm watch it together?" i played with her fingers absentmindedly nervous if she'd reject me.

"yeah sure" her eyes lit up like she was waiting for me to ask her that. we watched the movie in bliss, thankfully she liked it! and immediately said to put the second one. and surprise surprise, we finished it.

when the credits rolled in, i saw her yawning, shifting in her seat again, i decided to be bold so i lifted her head off my shoulder pulled the arm rest away from us, took a pillow and patted my lap. immediately after doing it i regretted it, she barely knows me, what the fuck peter.

"you sure?" she asked smiling a bit, she looked like she felt something giddy inside which made me feel at peace again and i nodded.

"good night" she whispered snuggling her head on my lap, i hesitantly put my arm over

"good night, y/n" and we fell asleep like how ned slept the whooole time i was talking to her, wow we have a lot to catch up on

bonus:

peters pov

i didnt know the whole plane (our class) practically gushed over my interaction with y/n, i know its been a while since i liked a girl but betty and the rest (including Mr Harrington) practically begged mj to take photos of us since she was the closest, not that she wouldnt have done it without them asking her....

*A/N: idk what this bonus was lmao but i had to add the school feeling happy for our boy pete*

have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!

-quacksonlover

#spiderman #peter parker x fem #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker fluff #ned leeds #may parker #aunt may #the avengers #mcu #michelle jones #marvel #sony pictures #imagines #peter parker x reader #fluff #peter #parker #avengers

[sitp-recs]

Hey

Um I don't know if I should be asking this but I thought I'll try it since there's no ask option.

So I am in a lot of fandoms and I always see a lot of hate for ships or characters I like in comment sections and videos and stuff. Usually if it's like videos i just skip past but I am all about listening to the other side and not living in an echo chamber and it almost always ends with me feeling drained coz there's just a lot of hate most of the time. I was thinking about asking anything u usually do when it comes to hate where people say stuff like ur wrong or immoral for liking or reading something...

Thanks for all that u do for our fandom. Just saying it out to someone helped a lil. Thank u so much for ur recs, reblogs of lovely advice, being a nice and kind person in this fandom and everything else

Hi there! Thanks for sending this, I’ve reopened the asks because I really wanted to answer this one publicly. Many of my new followers may not know, but I’m a pro-shipper, ship & let ship, kinktomato and whatever else defines folks who couldn’t care less about what others enjoy in their free, private time. I happen to indulge many ships considered “problematic”, most of them involving age gap, so I consider myself personally implicated in any conversation about fandom hate. I may not receive as much in this blog but I certainly got it in other fandoms so I feel like I do have some experience (especially because I’ve dealt with this conflict internally, way before I decided to expose myself and engage with the fandom community).

Anyhoo! How do I deal with hate on ships and characters I enjoy? I tend to follow the avoid - delete - disengage triad. It’s not an easy task, it requires a lot of self-control and focus not to delve into it, but ultimately I’ve decided that my mental health is way above any rich, interesting convo I may get out of it. That’s easier said than done if we go beyond anon hate to include actual friends who disagree with you, but I feel like a compromise must be done on both cases.

For example, my fave character is Tony Stark. I love him like I’ve never loved any character before or since, and I’m particularly sensitive about his arc and about his relationship with Steve in Civil War. My closest fandom friend is @tackytigerfic and Tony is SO NOT her fave 😂 I know that, she knows I know that, we respect each other’s views and we simply don’t talk about it (Tacky is not a MCU fan either way and Drarry is soo much more interesting!) but I’m pointing this out because we get on really well and I’m sure we could have AMAZING convos about the MCU in general and about Tony and Steve in particular, but I won’t go there because it’s a discussion that wears me out, makes me bitter, makes me sad, makes me think and feel things I don’t want to face while I’m enjoying fandom in my free time. I guess your friends will either take it or leave it, but honestly respecting someone else’s limits is a basic friendship law (or it should be!) and a common courtesy in general.

People often ask us to be the “bigger person” and talk it out like the mature adults we are, but fandom isn’t a paid job - it’s a hobby and as such we owe absolutely nothing to strangers about whatever fictional preferences we choose to indulge in our free time. We all want different things out of fandom and I believe we should actively pursue it, and focus on what brings us joy, comfort and fulfillment. I don’t want to see things that upset me, and I’m not here to have mindblowing meta talks at the cost of my own peace of mind, not even with close friends. That’s not a compromise I’m willing to make, so I don’t. So I go on unashamedly deleting rude asks, ignoring shitty comments, blocking blogs, and living this fandom life inside my happy bubble. After a few years struggling to come with terms with what I enjoy and what I want out of fandom, it is that simple for me.

Now I’m 100% comfortable with knowing my reading preferences aren’t a reflection of my personality or morals, I feel freer and self-aware in a way I’ve never felt before. And again, this is what works for me - while my 2 cents may not be as helpful to someone else, I’m posting this publicly hoping to maybe start a conversation and get some other perspectives to share. I hope you find a way to deal with it that won’t take away your joy of interacting with fandom :) stay safe! ❤️

#asks #yaxima #on fandom #let’s be gentle to ourselves

[cosmiclatte28]

Homesick Remedy (Yuta x you)

More Fluff and Domestic Yuta for you all, plus for the one feeling homesick. We can get through this, I know it sucks with all the travel limitations etc, know that you’re not alone and others are also wishing to be homed now. Instead of being sad, why not read some Yuta fluff and  my other fluff works too! Or watch NCT 2.0 ! Mtopia is also a nice gig!

Enjoy!

"I swear one more interruption and this book will be a lethal weapon." your boyfriend groans and you quickly stop in your place. You were being a bit loud on preparing yourself to go out in this fall season. Well you were singing your favorite song as you change your clothes, powder your face, and search around his wardrobe for a sweater. "Oops, never know a Yuta likes to read a book." you snicker at him after finding the red scarf Yuta has from you. He rolls his eyes and shrugs it off, "I just don't have the time. Now that I have a free time, I want to finish this book." Yuta glances back at to the chapter he is reading and you continue to walk out of the room. You take your jacket and keys, then walk out of the apartment to buy some groceries for dinner. You are planning to cook some Japanese cuisine, since Yuta has been craving Japanese home cooked meal and missing home. Last night you called his mother to ask what his favorite foods are and she nicely explained to you how to cook the dishes he likes. You want to heal his home-sickness. You want to make this a surprise, so when you saw him intrigued in a chapter, you think this is the right moment to leave the house. Buying ingredients was not hard, what is hard is carrying them back to the apartment by the stairs, but you cheer yourself up and made it back to the room without any help. Yuta was gone already, he is no longer sitting on the sofa. You assume he is in his bed, reading the pages with his nose stuck to the pages and hair covering his eyes. No matter how many times you tell him to fix his reading position so his eyes won’t hurt, Yuta never heed your advise.

After putting the groceries away, you change your clothes to a comfortable one, wash your hands and peek on his door to see Yuta really fascinated by a book. Thanks to the distraction, he did not leave his room at all until your cooking is done. Now there is a steaming hot pot of Oden in your kitchen. You're helped with the instant soup bases and you just have to buy the other fish cakes and veggies. It is the right time to eat dinner, calmly you knock on his door and pop your head into the room. Yuta sees you and raises a brow, "Yes?" he marks his book and sets it aside on the night lamp desk. "Um are you on an exciting chapter?" you ask as you step into his room. He shakes his head, "Not really, why?" Smoothly you waltz to his side and sit yourself on the empty spot next to him. He initiatively hugs you from the side, almost pulling you to sit on top of him so he can cradles you. "If you're hungry, I've made dinner." you whisper and smile while looking into his lips. Yuta leans closer to bop your nose, "Hmm that sounds inviting. What do you cook tonight?" "Your favorite fall food, Oden just like the one your mother made... well I hope." you nervously chuckle. That successfully brings a smile on his prominent face, "Now I am tempted to eat." "Shall we?" you encircle your hand over his neck and he gently kisses you and carries you out of the bedroom. He carefully puts you down on the floor and you make your way to turn the stove off. Well the bowls and utensils are ready. "Let me do it," Yuta takes the mittens and takes the hot pot to the table. You impatiently sit on your chair and eye all of the food inside the pot. "Hm smells delicious, let me try." Yuta spoons a ladle of soup and the toppings. He inhales the scent and after throwing you one look, he digs into the bowl. You cannot bring yourself to eat, because you're super nervous about his opinion. Yuta nods his head and eats another spoonful, "This is a nice homesick food remedy, you're doing great honey! Dig in please, or I might finish this by myself." You laugh and finally start eating, well yeah it doesn't taste that bad. It tastes good to be honest, Yuta's mom must be a great cook. After the warm dinner, you move to the living room while waiting for Yuta to finish washing the dishes. The TV is on with your favorite TV show ready to be played. "Jump into the blanket, we're sharing one tonight!" you pat the empty spot by your side and then cover the blanket over your bodies, you snuggle close to him. The room is dark and the TV is the only source of light. Yuta gently plays with your hair while stealing kisses from you throughout the scenes. "You smell nice, your hair is so soft." he gently massages your scalp. You lean deeper into his touch and hug his torso. "Huh? Another sweater of mine?" he questions when he caught the familiar oversized sweater on your body. You nod your head, "Uh-huh I like it coz it smells like you." you admit shyly. He laughs, "That means I can leave you my sweaters when my schedule is packed and you can sleep with it." You giggle, "That's what I've been doing." He suddenly realizes something, "Is that why you told me to wear different sweater every time I come, coz you want it to smell like me after you wash them?" You blush, "Did you just discover my secret?" He burst into a big laugh and hugs you even tighter, "You're so cute! Care to give me a back scratch?" he abruptly asks and you laugh louder, "Sure sure, here where is it there?" you ask as your left hand roam around his broad back and scratching random spots while following his aid. He instructs you, "Upper left, gosh too far, no no go down, there almost..." and after finding the itchy spot, you use your nails to help him. He sighs when the itch has gone and you return to your comfortable hugging position. Your head is on his shoulder and he gently holds your hands that are hugging him. "Can we stay like this?" he asks after the ending credits rolled. You nod, "We can do this until I sleep." Yuta plants a kiss on your forehead, "Well okay then thank you for cooking me home cooking dishes, you're ready to be my wife." You feel your stomach tingles, "Well I know what it feels like to be homesick too, no problem honey. As long as you're happy... I can do anything." He sweetly pecks your lips and looks at you with adoration in his eyes, "I love you (y/n)." He hugs you closer and you snuggle more if possible. You cannot hide your smile, "I love you too, Yuta." The room was no longer cold, not after you share the warmth with your perfect snuggly boyfriend and Yuta no longer feels so home-sick.

#Fluff #yuta fluff #yuta angst #yuta imagines #yuta imagine #yuta x you #yuta x reader #yuta x oc #yuta x y/n #nct yuta #nct imagines #nct imagine #nct yuta oneshot #yuta oneshot #yuta scenarios #yuta layouts #yuta icons #yuta nakamoto #yuta nakamoto soft icons #nakamoto yuta #nct yuta nakamoto

[cherryhanji]

rain and you

bulleted scenario. skz x reader

genre: pure fluff (coz i'm feelin soft af), high school au

words: 2.5k

warning(s): none

description: a not so nice weather is approaching and sadly, you didn't bring an umbrella with you.

➤bang chan

• "i'll walk you home, the weather's not good"

• you lift your gaze to the sky, and he isn't wrong, but the fact that chan, your high school senior and also your /crush/ offers to walk you home, shyness enveloped in your whole being making you refuse to his offer.

• "no, oppa. it's okay. our house is just nearby. I can run though."

• "are you sure? you brought an umbrella with you?"

• smiling sheepishly, you shook your head

• "it's okay, oppa. I promise. But, I need to go home now."

• you bid your goodbyes to chan and he did the same before you head to the direction of your home.

• but being the unluckiest human being you are, the strong rain pour making you slightly damped.

• you ran to the nearest convenience store and decided to stay there until the rain stop pouring.

• while waiting for the rain to stop, you turn your gaze to the store's entrance and saw chan, who immediately found you sitting, hair sticking to your forehead and damped uniform thanks to the rain.

• shaking his head, he went near you putting his umbrella at the side.

• "what did I tell you? The weather's not good."

• he grabbed something inside his bag, a big jacket and hand it to you.

• "wh-what will I do with this oppa?"

• "maybe put it inside your bag? Haha! Just kidding! Wear that first and let me take you home. No more buts."

• you just nodded and try to stay calm while your heart is now drumming inside your chest. Your crush, /your crush/ will walk you home. Maybe not bringing an umbrella isn't that bad.

***

➤minho/lee know

• this day maybe the worst day you ever had in your life

• flopping the math exams because you didn't copy the notes you supposed to be reviewing, not able to pass the activity on time. Procrastination sucks, but you still do it. (like mate, stop procrastinating)

• and not bringing an umbrella in this bad weather. seriously?

• stomping your feet because of your stubbornness, you wait for the rain to stop at the school's waiting area.

• you keep on checking the time on your phone when a voice called you.

• you lift your gaze to find the direction of the voice to see Minho, your classmate aka mortal enemy(aka again, your crush) waving at you. Your heart skip a beat but tried to composed an annoyed face. You just furrowed your eyebrows as he went to you.

• "what now minho?"

• "looks like your lonely at the middle of this sad weather. Don't have an umbrella?"

• you grunted at his annoying manner

• "shut up, i'm not in the mood."

• "i think that means no. want me to walk you home?" He said and winked at you and you swear, your cheeks are like tomatoes because of its redness.

• "n-no need! I can go home by myself, i just need to wait for this to stop."

• minho just furrowed his eyebrows and tutted at you.

• "looks like this rain will keep on pouring for hours. Are you sure you'll wait for it to stop?"

• you look at the sky, dark clouds welcomed you and you contemplated to retort because he isn't lying.

• minho chuckled and raised his eyebrows at you.

• you just puffed your cheeks and let out the air in it to calm your insides. Minho is just looking at you.

• "fine!" You just gave up making Minho chuckle and put his arms on your shoulder making you jump at the sudden contact.

• "you can't resist my charms, don't you?"

• you just huffed and rolled your eyes at him

• "shut up! it's, it's just that I didn't have an umbrella with me!"

• he just shrugged and opened his umbrella, "okay! If you say so!"

***

➤changbin

• you and your classmate changbin went to the convenience store after your classes to buy some food when the rain suddenly poured making you frown

• "screw me for being forgetful dude, i forgot my umbrella."

• changbin turned to you and chuckled as he knew that you were a forgetful human being

• "i'm not surprised y/n. you even forgot our assignment in biology a while ago."

• "yeah, okay. poor me. i guess i'll stay here until the rain stops"

• changbin smiled and tapped your shoulder making you look at him.

• "don't be sulky. I can walk you home you know." he winked and showed you his umbrella.

• "hey, is it okay? I mean we don't have the same way going home."

• "it's okay. I can't just leave you here alone waiting for the rain to stop."

• "you can wait for the rain to stop too.." you said matter-of-factly

• changbin stayed silent for a while, realizing you were not wrong.

• "w-why? you don't like me to walk you home?"

• "I didn't say anything."

• "good, now let's go."

• changbin grabbed his bag and yours making you gasp slightly.

• "hey you don't ha--"

• "it's okay. let's go"

• "Uh... The umbrella is not that big, so..."

• changbin wrapped his arms on your shoulders making you moved closer to him.

• "stay closer so you won't get wet."

• you just nodded while your heart is already thudding in your chest.

***

➤hyunjin

• after watching Hyunjin's basketbball practice, you decided to go home now.

• You have a huge crush on the school's varsity player so you won't let the opportunity of watching him play go to waste.

• even if the weather is not that nice since noon and you didn't bring an umbrella with you..

• You just sighed and decided to run to the bus stop even if the rain is already pouring hard.

• you were preparing to run when a guy's voice called you making you stop at what you're planning to do.

• you turn your head and saw hyunjin smiling at you.

• because of how flustered you are, you turned your back at him to hide your blushing face.

• "hey. you're y/n, right? are you going home now?" you eyes widen when you heard his voice near you.

• you slowly turn your head to him and smile sheepishly.

• "ah yes. I'll just run to the bus stop, tho."

• "I'm also going to the bus stop. As I can see, you don't have an umbrella with you. do you mind if I walk with you there?"

• hyunjin offered you as he showed his umbrella with him.

• you just stayed silent as the fact that you're crush is offering you to walk with him at the bus stop.

• "uh, y/n. still there?"

• you shook your head going back to reality and looked at him.

• "uh, sorry. What is it again?"

• "I asked you if it's okay if I walk with you at the bus stop. Since you don't have an umbrella and it's getting darker now."

• you look at the time on your phone showing that it's already 6:30 pm.

• you just accepted his offer even of your heart almost jump out of your chest because of the fact that you're near, and walking with your crush.

• the cold weather is contrasting with the warm feeling that is now lingering on your cheeks.

• "let's go?"

• you nodded and just shed yourself under hyunjin's umbrella.

***

➤jisung/han

• you bid your goodbyes to your friend as you separate ways going home

• but it seems like the weather is not on your side today.

• rain is already falling but you forgot to bring your umbrella with you.

• frowning, you just wait for the rain to stop.

• "y/n!"

• you lift your gaze to the guy who called you who turns out to be jisung, your classmate.

• "h-hey, jisung... why are you still here? dance practice?"

• he nodded and sit beside you. you just hummed and turn your attention to your phone. awkwardness start to envelop between you.

• all your classmates knew that jisung likes you, a lot. Little did they know, you also feel the same, making this situation awkward for you.

• "aren't you going home yet?"

• "not yet, the rain is still pouring, i guess i need to wait for it to stop."

• "uh... i have an umbrella here. i can walk you home if you like."

• your eyes widen out of shock. you felt your heart skip a beat. is this even happening???

• "oh, i... is it okay? i mean are we having the same way home?"

• he just nodded at you and smile sheepishly as the thought of walking his crush home, which is you, makes his heart do somersaults

• "oh, okay... if you say so. thank you..."

• "no prob. i guess you're friend already went home."

• "yeah, because i thought i can go home with no problem. but the weather is quite mean to me."

• "let's go? Before it gets any stronger."

• jisung scooted you closer to him so you can't make yourself wet.

• you slightly jumped at how his hands are warm and soft making your heart again jump.

• jisung is quite shocked because of his newfound confidence but he just brushed it off so it won't make the situation more awkward.

• "thank you, jisung."

• "you're welcome."

***

➤felix

• you are calmly waiting for the rain to stop inside the library.

• you were stucked there for almost 2 hours, because your groupmate already went home. Luckily you have some books there to avoid the seeping boredom in you.

• "y/n?"

• you stopped reading ang lift your gaze, seeing Felix. You smiled at him as he went near you.

• "hey, still studying?"

• "nah, just to kill boredom. I'm waiting for the rain to stop. I can't go home under the rain."

• felix just shook his head as his arms are propped on the table while resting his chin on his palms.

• he straighten his seat as an idea popped into his head.

• hey y/n! i can walk you home. I have an umbrella with me."

• a smile appeared on your face after he said that.

• "really? you're a lifesaver, lix! but, is that okay?"

• "of course! Why not?"

• "i mean, your house is far from ours. You might come home late."

• "it's okay. I'll just tell mom that I helped out a friend."

• "thank you lixie!"

• "come on, while it's still early."

***

➤seungmin

• "that's all. don't forget to bring the stuffs tomorrow okay? so we can prepare earlier for the fair."

• seungmin, your student council president finally dismissed the meetinng for the preparation for the school fair next week.

• "y/n, don't forget to bring the curtains for the stage design, okay? gotta go, my mom is already outside"

• you just bid your goodbyes to yeji and fixed your things, it's already 5 pm and the thought of hearing your mom scold you for coming home late makes you frown.

• but as you take a look at the window outside the room, strong rain greeted you.

• you opened your bag to check if you bring your umbrella with you but you saw nothing.

• "urgh! why does it have to be today??"

• "hey, y/n? is there any problem?"

• seungmin approached you as he heard you groaned

• you thought you're the only one left inside so you were quite shocked to hear seungmin's voice.

• "uh... uhm yeah. I forgot my umbrella. And it's raining outside. but i cannot wait for it to stop, my mom will scold me if i go home late again."

• you blurted out while seungmin is intently listening to you.

• you just sighed and sit down on the chair near you.

• "hey, want me to walk you home? i have a quite big umbrella with me. I think we can fit in here."

• seungmin offered to you showing his umbrella.

• you looked at seungmin for a while, registering what he said to you.

• seungmin is the type of student who is quiet, and has the looks of a smart, intimidating student, that's why you really admire him. and he's also the reason why you joined the student council. In that way, you can have at least some interactions with him.

• seungmin is not the type to talk to people casually especially if he's not really close with them. So him, offering to walk you home, makes you shock and makes your heart flutter.

• "a-are you sure? I mean i can just wait here. I'll just tell my mom I had to wait for the rain to stop."

• he just sighed and grab your bag.

• "come on, i just can't leave you here. And besides, we're on the same way home."

• seungmin said making your eyes wide.

• "really?? how did you know?"

• "it's because I saw you one time. I just didn't call your name because... because I'm shy..."

• he said and you can't be wrong. you just saw his cheeks slightly turned red making you chuckle. he's so /cute/.

• "you know what? Let's go."

• you just nodded and head out of the room.

***

➤jeongin/i.n

• you just finished doing your project and you're getting ready to go home.

• when you heard the loud pouring of rain outside your classroom window.

• you grunted as you realized that you forgot to bring your umbrella with you..

• jeongin stopped at what his doing as he saw your mini tantrums.

• "hey, y/n. you look like you lost from a game. What happened?"

• "i forgot to bring my umbrella with me! And it's raining outside."

• you just slumped yourself at your seat and closed your bag.

• "i'll just need to wait for it to stop."

• "uh, y/n. i think the condition of the sky says no. Look, it's quite dark outside."

• you turn your eyes to the window to check the sky, and jeongin isn't lying.

• "i think i need to run to the bus stop while raining."

• you huffed out of frustration and leaned on the chair.

• "i'll walk you there, perhaps i want to go home too now."

• you straighten up your seat and looked at jeongin.

• "really?"

• he nodded at you and stand up.

• "come on, i badly want to go home now."

• you just nodded at him and grabbed your bag and head out of the room.

• "thank you, innie."

• "no prob, princess."

______

it's been a lifetime since i posted a bulleted type of scenarios and all i can say is-- none. Yeah, anyways this fic was made a long time ago. but i just got the courage to post it today after lots of edits ajd rereadings. I hope u like it and thank u!

--

Special thanks to my forever vivi @peaches-writes for helping me with my struggles. u the best girl💖

#inkidz #skzwriternet #stayhavennet #0325net #stayverse #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids high school au #bang chan #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #stray kids x stay #stray kids #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop imagines

[witchysleepingbeauty]

How do I totes change my life I mean myself, using the law of assumptin? Like 180 deg

Im tired, sick and bored of my life and the ditection its going in is... Not nice

Ive always been indecisive and anxious abut what others think, like i akwats feel like I have to live for others and that's how they will always accept me

I don't think thats how I want to be. And it's thanks to ur blog (and some others ones) and teachings that im sure this is such a pathetic limiting belief to have

The reason i talk abt indecision and being bendable in my decisions is that this means i really don't know how I want to be. I just know I don't want to be the current me

Ive grown up to teachings like "be like a candle, coz melted wax is easily mouldable" and things like that! i just, I just know why I've been so deeply unhappy and secretly hate myself. Its I don't want to b like this. If I could've been moulfed to what ther version of a female is, I wouldve adjusted to it by now right? Like other friends of mine and others around me

But I haven't. I feel like erasing this ask, I feel I'm betrayjg everyone. Idk how to go on like this

I keep smiling 😃 ... Idk inside I'm not smiling most of those times. But I will stand up for myself before its too late. Thank you for your patience ❤️ I will take any advice you have

First of all it’s good to have a direction. You don’t need to have everything figured out just a general idea of what you want.

Seems like you need to start learning yourself from the beginning. Who are you? What do you like? What makes you happy? Start from the simple things, like what kind of food do you enjoy. Other ways to discover yourself is to pay attention to the qualities you admire in others. Do you admire dynamic people? Or maybe you like the chill ones more? Once you know you start taking baby steps towards your true self. You can think about the movies and series you like, romantic? Action? Thriller? And also the clothes you want to wear, find your style! Then you can think about the hobbies you enjoy, etc… there are so many ways to find yourself!

Once you find your direction you start doing self concept affirmations!

[thisdreamplace]

Hi. My erratic moods, and loss of control over my words and actions, my inability to be calm and collected, and worse, to keep the unhelpful intrusive thoughts IN my head are causing me trouble. (eg just recently someone in my family was going to the hospital for a possibly serious checkup and they joked, as I saw them at the door, "If I die then forgive me". And like, ik it's a joke. But a deep primal part of me, in front of everyone, lost it and as they turned away I heard myself screaming: "If I die, then YOU CAN BE HAPPY" and I just couldn't control it. I did find the pause in between the words and my reaction (Eckhart Tolle), yet I failed to at least restrain myself, from lashing out. Ik it's the 'demons' who think they'll be happy if I die etc. Worse was, my grandma (who doesn't know the extent of my issues) witnessed this. It sucks. I want to cry. Why did I react that way?)

What really is up with me? This has nothing to do with what was said (and I even know that the joke was a self defense mechanism coz my family mmbr was worried themselves about the check up). But the way I shouted that... It was serious. I think I did mean it. It's lame hahah, especially coz I was thinking I was starting to be able to control myself? To assuage the 'darkness' within, and I even believe things are definitely less hopeless thanks to the loa and me influencing reality

Maybe it was just a random thing. Ofc it's impossible to heal overnight, yet I do feel... Ashamed of my reaction (like hello, why couldn't I have stopped myself from saying that out loud at least? I could've just laughed it off and said "yeah okay me too" or smth less intense. They already mock me for my 'tantrums'. Welp, such is life and I've been doing my best to stay alive and normal for many years now)

Any way you can suggest using loa to make myself less... reactive and emotionally nuclear bomb-ish? The funniest thing is I was normal the whole day then this stupid outburst screaming 'woe ie me boohoo' happens. Gah I wanna curse lol

I did start conscious healing some months ago. Maybe I have pent up rage or emotion and I gotta idk journal or smth? I do affirm, I do try to fix my thought patterns (as opposed to never even realising I had a choice before). I'm not saying I'm doing enough. I'm not saying I'm consistent. But I am better than before. Then this happens?! Wdyt?

And another thing, the more I get into loa/beliefs/assumptions etc, and try to restructure my life, I feel wayyy more exposed and vulnerable

You are one of my faves in the loa spectrum btw

Hi!

Honestly, nothing is wrong with you. I think that you're being a little harsh on yourself, that's all. I mean, I get being put off by your outbursts. But weirdly, it's not actually something you need to analyze, although you may want to. I mean, that's how we worked in the past right? We always wanted to analyze the 3D and our behavior. But there's actually nothing to analyze anymore. There's nothing wrong with you, even like this.

I think that when we get into the law especially, and we start making progress, we're completely ashamed of ourselves when it seems like we are suddenly regressing. But actually, like I was saying, we don't have to take it that seriously. It actually doesn't have to mean anything is wrong with us. We can still totally be on the right path. Thing is, things that are living within us will find a way out. And that's all you experienced. Practice letting it pass and returning within yourself, to your inner world where you have been making great strides. It's not always for us to figure out why something happened. Instead, it's up to us to decide what we want to focus on moving forward.

If you feel the need to journal and let it all out, don't stop yourself! Write it out, allow yourself that space to say what you need to say and maybe you will figure something out in the process. Do not be afraid to release what you're feeling, allow it.

On the flip side of that, you can approach these outbursts with more compassion for yourself. I mean, the law really calls for us to come back to unconditional love for ourselves at all times. It's a constant practice. You don't have to feel ashamed anymore. Like I have said before, anything that we do was done perfectly. We think we have all these controls over our actions, because we forget we are ourselves pushed out. Even our freewill ends passed our minds. We only have freewill within. Every action we take in the 3D falls in line with the state we are in. This why we cannot do anything wrong! So don't fall for the 3D illusion, even in regard to yourself. It may be hard and weird to grasp, but allow yourself that space to at least move into some sort of acceptance. It will all click the more you choose to focus on your inner world, and what you can do within. Do not worry about what you can do in the outer world. Because really, you can do nothing.

So how do you tackle this? Well, like usual, get an idea of who you want to be. Don't think about how to get there, really. It's not your job. All you need to know is your end goal. And if you don't know it clearly, intend to for clarity. But after that, all you need to do is choose to embody that version of you everyday. You do this in your mind. You don't need to "act as if" unless you like to. Some days may be easier or harder than others. It doesn't matter if you trip up or totally are out of the state some days. The point is you keep persisting, you keep doing your best to go back to that version of you within in your mind. Without knowing how, that effort truly does add up and gets you exactly where you want to be.

To your final comment, I totally feel this. I have never been more vulnerable than I am now. I mean, the more I learn about the law, it's like the more I wear my heart on my sleeve. There's emotions I could run from before, that I can't run from now. I feel more exposed than ever. Because our fears, despite being our prison, often work as a shield. And the more you come into the law and have to dismantle the illusion of your fears, the more exposed you feel. And it's okay. I just try to remind myself that behind any uncomfortable feelings, I am making my way towards absolute love and freedom. Behind these illusions I built for myself, the more love and freedom can make it's way into my life. And it's comforting to see it that way and it allows me to keep going even when I feel too scared to. I know I am on the right path. Hopefully this helps you feel that way too.

Anyway, thank you for your nice compliment! I hope you are doing well! 💖

#i am

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

8.19.23 Saturday

Planning to take the sleepwell but I'm somehow scared coz of the name "sleepwell"... But I think I need to sleep and rest even for our 2 days off... It is just 3mg... I wanted the gummies kind, next time that 1.2mg per gummy...

2:03 am

Taking the sleepwell... I still want to have tomorrow.... Goodnight and Good Morning...

8:57 am

Thank God for today...But we have no onions,garlic, ginger now... I have no extra money for food,not enough fundings... For Neko and Lalah here... Whew!

This Uncle DD is really strange as well coz he didn't give us an extra for food allowance... But he told me that he is still waiting for money bridging from Japan.

This Uncle Jun went out already around 7am going to baranggay forest of Georgia'Z and Betsilog'Z gang ( wearing a plastic coats?). It is weird he went back here then suddenly somehow angry coz he asked me about the password of the laptop that he is using... I told him he was the one using that big laptop most of the time not me... Why is he angry? I told him it is the birthday of Uncle Hideaki and year of his birthday...

I told Uncle Jun to reset that laptop so that we can use it... I wanted to stream again if I have time.

That laptop was left here by my adoptive mother or Aunt Teresa.... About Aunt Teresa? She is still on "silent snapping"... If she is dead people will tell it from there to here... Probably, she is having a major money problem as well... The last time she told me she is really having a hard time making a fundings there...

Me? I wanted to buy a new mobile and get some collagen on my feet and down there... But I have to prioritize things...

I still have left and right creditz and my sciatica/ priformis/ pelvic is still in pain...My S-bones but yesterday I felt it was my sciatica aching... I need to do my massage, I told Mia my left pelvic,thigh down to my left leg is aching...

About coach John,still not trusting him...Yesterday he almost massage and cracked the necks of my wave mates in 468... I don't trust him but I'm professional. Though, he was able to crack nicely the necks of my wave mates still I won't let him crack my neck... He is having a weird character as well...

It is just weird,I just remember from the past days that coach John sharing a story about a mother died ( but I caught him looking at me )...I had have windblow so sometimes, I had have confusion coz it is over-lapping in my head the real world plus my windblow...

I was just listening and ignoring him... Life is precious and only God knows.... Still, I have no guilty emotions angels... I didn't actually harm people intentionally...

10:07 am

I need to do this job and I will feel bad if I can't... I saw old people in Iqor around 55 to 70 they are still working... They can do call center job...

I just need a long while and find myself...

I still feel self-pity... People in Iqor and my wave-mates are just new people to me but of course we all need to be professional and maintain friendship on a professional way...

Like me and Lexa had some argument but it must be at that moment only and after that, it should be over... No more long talks...Coz that is how mature people should act...

I still feel self-pity... Kinda a long travel to go to go up, I really wanna be a product manager and see beyond things,see beyond and touch beyond the floor someday or one day...

It is just that this job, this call center thingy it is really a big challenge for me now... Coz there are old people in Iqor believe or not,they can do the job. I will feel mad on me, I will be mad at myself if I can't make it... Argh! This job! BUT! I have to conquer it... Why they can and why I can't...

1:14 pm

This is the picture yesterday....Our back to school theme but me? I wanna graduate... Will I ever graduate??? ( not literally )Life is puzzle pieces...

Coach John is from De La Salle as well,angels...

With Gio ( his wife is also working in Iqor as one of the team leaders ) and with bro. Rodel...

3:03 pm

I need to rest and will do my laundry later... I need sleeping pills angels... But I want a new day everyday.... Still need to have a self-fulfillment... Still,having self-pity...

My sciatica is aching... My entire left body is in pain,angels...

5:18 pm

Whew! I can't sleep... But I already took the 2 capsule of Sleepwell on 2 different nights...

Time to do my laundry and still thinking of money... I feel self-pity... I need to keep my job...

I still wanna remove my deep smile lines :(

11:46 pm

My sciatica is aching ( done doing my laundry)....I still have windblow trap??? Hey! I'm already in Iqor...

I need money and I need to keep this job... So, many frustrations in life... Hope I have angels to guide me...

I still wanna get a dimple, in the future... I still feel fat,ugly and old... Plus, still wanna see donkey and camel ( to travel in the future)...

But I need to prioritize things now...

#Youtube

[sleepylixie]

(Didn't send maybe?)hhhhhhhhhh you don't know thaaaaaaaaaat. I keep saying this to people but then it keeps being 'oh wait I feel cute today though' 😝. I'm wearing a dress today cause I'm being fancy though. AHHHH PLEASE! I keep reading instead of writing lmao love that.

FIVE STAR MICHELIN VIBES! Okay it took me a hot minute to find the doc whew. Correction, half of them are human and half are vamps. Human prince Felix with a bunch of bodyguards he acquired through various memes. And it was really just random brainstorming based on what happened in the perf. Like Hyunjin is very dramatic and acrobatic when fighting hehe. Like he's practical but he can afford to be like that cause good fighter + vampire equals necessity for creativity heh.

Oh I absolutely am not a pro tntjfk. I started when I was like 14 so I was really not good at the time. So many bops I wanna learn 😣. Oh mood. Like I've only watched the gods menu dp a couple of times but I know almost all the basic moves still 🥴. I might just watch the Inception dp then, cause I'm not strongly into Ateez tbh.

-🖌

( yeah no, didn't send 🤕) Heyyy cutie i was just thinking where you were! Ayy dresses always look so nice! I usually feel super insecure in dresses coz I've been conditioned into thinking i need to be fit to pull off dresses properly, but I've started breaking the cycle and letting myself feel comfortable in shorts and pencil skirts, especially coz they give me A HECK ton of confidence lol

Give Felix a crown and i will gladly bend the kneeand go to war for him 💅🏼 ACROBATIC DANCE FIGHTER HYUNJIN? Are you out for my blood?? ( Pun definitely intended) tell me about Minsung 👅 what are they? Vamps? Hoomans? 🥴

You're used to picking up dance moves is what I'm trying to say! 5 years is a long time though, I'd call that pro cover dancing any day- GOD'S MENU ISN'T EASY SO YOU'RE GOOD 🤩🔥🔥🔥🔥 DID YOU WATCH THE KINGDOM PERFORMANCES I WAS SCREECHING AND LOSING MY MIND THROUGH ALL OF EM

#🖌️ anon's big brain adventures #🖌️ anon #lily's sweet nonnies ✨

[autumnpleaves]

I just chose randomly so skip any that make you uncomfy-

green: do you have a favourite flower?

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

orange: if you could, would you change your eye color? why? to what color, if so?

amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen?

charcoal: have you ever been camping?

emerald: if you had the option, would you choose to move and live in another country? which one?

erin: what was/is your best school subject?

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?

mulberry: earbuds or headphones?

mint: favourite flavour of gum?

pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up?

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

Green: do you have any favorite flower?

Yes! Sunflowersssss and uh... dandelion? Catsear as well! :)

Lavenders and Daisies are also my favorite :)

Beautiful Classics

Purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

0-0

....

Uh. Okay lemme look up a poem quickly

To All My Friends by May Yang :)

I mean I know it says closest friend, but everyone is my friend so-

Also maybe I should write one coz I can't find any that fits my closest friend

----

Flickering meadows

Glowing hollows

I dreamt a dream and I wish you were here

I close my eyes and the world disappears

You're here with me, and you're finally in my reach

I think whenever we talk, 'You're such a peach'

Late night and early morning talks

Nothing would beat this virtual daily walks

Through the meadows and through the woods

Staying at home and snacking on baked goods

Eggs and Butter, Sugar and Flour

You are my favorite flower

So thank you, for everything

When you're not here, the world no longer sing

----

Eyyy there we go! :]

Orange: if you could would you change your eye color? Why? To what color, if so?

Hmmm no!

I don't wanna change my eye color because in my eyes I'm physically perfect the way I am

I don't wanna change anything about myself, because not only will I definitely choose a really ridiculous color that will not match my entire appearance but because I most definitely would choose Flaming Fiery Orange or Darker Hazultnut Brown or Pink (I'm curious) or Silver/Gray/White /hj /lh

No but really my hair color would most definitely have to match with it and it should fit my entire vibe so I genuinely have no idea if any of that is a good idea XD

Amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen

Okay. I didn't think this was a question I would dread answering /j

Those are sadly not my cats. And the moment I realized you could add videos as your lockscreen, well-

Also that last picture is also my chat background :)

Charcoal: have you ever been camping?

Mmmm.... honestly I forgot. I think I have?

My aunt sells so many camping stuff and most of em ends up at my house at one point so I think I might have? I don't remember sleeping in a tent. So probably not.

XDD

I've imagined camping so many times it might as well have been reality at this point.

Camping but never overnight is the right way to put it XD

Emerald: if you had the option, would you choose to move, and live in another country? Which one?

Hmmm maybe Australia or New Zealand honestly.

Australia coz koalas and almond milk, Adelaide specifically for that rural area vibes and the uni

Melbourne for the city vibes and the theater :)

New Zealand... because it seems nice XD

Erin: what was/is your best school subject

Hmmm.... it used to be....

Let's see.

Elementary/Primary: Math, Science and Music

Junior High/Secondary: Math, Science, English, Music

High School/Uh.. Higher Secondary: Pure Maths, Chemistry, English

So yeah I definitely... did better in some of them XD

Honey (download honey now to get insane promos on yo-): your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

Yes. Definitely.

Wait actually-

I genuinely don't believe in magic. Like its not gonna happen. But I want to believe in them, so I give myself the benefit of doubt, and just like yeah it happens if it happens! I believe in miracles, not magic tho. It could exist but as of right now, mayhaps! Perhaps not! Who knows~

Gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?

I try not to XD

When my socks are mismatched either the length is different or its just not nice looking so XD

I try not to also because whenever I am aware or like purposefully do it, my skin just crawls and begs me to take it off coz its all wrong and the pair is RIGHT THERE or if it isn't THEN TAKE ANOTHER ONE! NO. MISMATCHED. SOCKS. Unless when you bought it, it is meant to be mismatched then cool. BUT OTHERWISE TAKE IT OFF ITS THE WRONG TEXTURE, SOCKS ARENT ME-

Yeah. Give it up for my brain everyone 👏

Mulberry: earbuds or headphones

Hmmm...

Long periods of time? Headphones

Short periods of time? Earbuds

Headphones have to be over the ear though

Earbuds should be able to sit snugly in my ear, but it should also be used when I'm not going to be laughing or smiling a lot because it h u r t s.

Like my muscles just push on my ear and it PUSHES THE EARBUD AND IT KEEPS FALLING OUT and when it pushes it, it just H U R T S so no thank you.

Headphones also when I don't necessarily need my glasses to see coz the glasses hook on my ear + the headphones just h u r t as well.

XDD

Gosh so many rules

Mint: favorite flavor of gum?

Hhhh, bubblegum. Wait... wait no-

Tutti Frutti or... strawberry cream? If I could prefer it I'd rather not have strawberry cream but tutti frutti is nice

No actual fruit flavors like apple, I imagine that would taste horrible

Pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up?

Sure after this song ends! :)

Waiting....

Adore You - Harry Styles

I shuffled it twice by accident but the one before that was Bang! - AJR

Prussian Blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

If there is Drinks?

Drinks - Tea. The umm... Honey Tea? Or Milk Tea depends if it has it or not, otherwise cranberry juice.

Snacks - Chips (potato chips) or Gummy Bears or Chocolate it there is any... OH AND UH SALTED PEANUTS I love those uwu

Thanks for the ask ISPINI!!!

#answered stuff #ispini’s up!! #*yes you are one of my closest friends so yes that poem is for you too*

[salty-af-ace]

Quarantine Tag Game

I was tagged by @basmathgirl thank you for keeping me going during this lockdown!

1. Are you staying home from work/school?

Not particularly. My course was online (I recently graduated) and I was job seeking but this all this hit the fan so now I have no education and no job.

2. If you’re staying at home, who’s there with you?

My parents, uncle and cousin. Don’t ask how That’s going.

3. Do you have pets to keep you company?

I tried uploading a photo of my dog wearing a dust mask to keep this themed but tumblr is an asshole. So instead here is ANOTHER photo of my dog not allowing me to study and another at Christmas. Her name is Lexie and she’s 11 and if she’s sitting in my lap likes to jump up on my computer table and rest her head on my hand stoppping me from doing anything.

4. What do you miss the most?

I miss a lot. I miss my friends. I miss the waterfront on a nice day with a cup of gelato. I miss my friends and I stupid little competitions when the price is always who buys food. I miss the freedom. I miss having a purpose and a job. I miss my mental stability. I’m somehow missing my internet friends. So basically I’m missing spending time with my friends.

5. When was the last time you left your home?

Technically I leave everyday to take my dog for a walk but other than walk wise it would be yesterday to pick up my prescription but before that it would have been a month.

6. What was the last thing you brought?

Escape room tickets and food. Just before NZ went into lockdown it was my birthday so I shouted my friends to an escape room and we went for dinner afterwards.

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

I’m being driven absolutely insane ask any of my friends. I cannot handle it. I have a very toxic relationship with my cousin atm and I’m stuck at home with her so that’s making it worse. My safe space isn’t even my safe space anymore.

8. Are you a homebody?

Absolutely. But the people in my life are also very important to me so I tried to see them at least once a month. Even if it was just going to each other’s place or into town or to go sit by the river.

9. What are movies you have watched recently?

Honestly I play games more than watch tv but:

- Maleficent 2

- Aladdin (the one with Will Smith)

- Frozen 2

- JoJo Rabbit

- A dogs purpose (I’ve read the book series)

And I’ve rewatched doctor who series 5.

10. An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

Armageddon. (Comic con in NZ) it might not be big but I just want to nerd out ok.

I’m extremely lucky though because all festivals and concerts I had planned was mainly in February.

11. What’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel?

A funeral coz we can’t travel out of our city.

12. What’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel?

Literally nothing.

13. Do you have any new hobbies?

Not new but I’m back into coloring in and reading.

14. What are you out of?

Iced Chocolate and serotonin.

15. What music are you listening too?

Mainly whatever my game is playing. TWAU start up music be getting me everytime.

But when I’m cooking dinner or baking it’s the same old music of Imagine dragons, Twenty one Pilots, Queen, ABBA etc.

16. What shows are you watching?

Documentaries and breaking dad (the one with Bradley Walsh, it just started on NZ TV)

Same old build up of Holby City, NCIS, Charmed and 8 out of 10 Cats.

17. What are you reading?

I have this giant book of DW history that I read, and of course fanfiction but I’m also reading The Art of Racing in the Rain atm.

18. What are you doing for self care?

A weird self care but it helps, but I’m matching my socks (I have a lot of themed socks) to my shirts coz even though nobody sees me it helps me stay sane a bit coz I’m not the kind of person who can stay in their Pjs all day and putting some effort helps me feel better about myself.

19. Are you exercising?

I’m going for a walk around the block everyday but unfortunately my dog has had leg surgery and she has heart problems so she can’t walk more than that. I’m not doing more than that and feeling shit.

20. How’s your toilet paper supply?

Normal amount like it should be. Stop stock piling. Yes I’m looking at you twits posting videos of dogs jumping over piles of them and all that.

21. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine?

Well my hair was already dyed blue but I didn’t have any dye at home and can’t go out and find more. I do have an under cut (my hair is very thick) so we’ve shaved that back down, but believe me when I say, I have thought about shaving it all off nearly everyday of this isolation. It’s always up coz it pisses me off.

Im tagging

@werealljustwinginit @beckaaay @crazyrichfilipinos @biwindblade @milfrandaotto coz these unfortunate souls have fallen under the category of friends and or close mutruals in my mind so sorry you get tagged in everything but those them rules.

And anyone else who needs a distraction!

#tagging thing #also people I tag feel free to ever just message me and be like hey can you fuck off #Honestly I hate tagging people coz I feel like im going BAM here I am to annoy you once again #anyways this took nearly an hour for me #also Becky and Mary im looking at you guys not doing my last tag #you guys dont have an option #your stuck with me F o R e V e R

[chobit92]

Home: Jacob Seed/OC Chapter 40

Sorry it has taken me so long to update this. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Sex, Swearing, Drug use, Alcoholism, Pregnancy, Attempted suicide.

(1 Week Later: John, Joseph and Faith are in the kitchen at John’s ranch. They are all cooking together for Sunday dinner.). John: Is Mara coming? Faith: I think so. She said she was. John: I didn’t see her at the sermon. Faith: She overslept. She said she was tired. John: Tired? Do I need to mark her with Sloth now too? Faith: No silly. She has been doing so much around the compound and for me and Lexi. I think we can forgive her for being a bit exhausted. John: Hm. (Akers enters the kitchen.). Akers: Mara’s here. Faith: Oh. (Faith goes to the lounge. Mara is sitting on the sofa. Jacob is sitting in the armchair flicking through one of John’s books.). Faith: Sis! (Faith rushes over and hugs her.). Mara: Hey. Faith: Are you okay? Mara: Yeah. Great. (She’s wearing black leggings and her long baggy black top that hangs off her shoulder. She is also wearing a large grey cardigan that has been knitted for her by Evelyn. Mara doesn’t mind that it’s too big as it hides her body. Not that she has much to hide right now. But she soon will. She curls up on the sofa and rests her head on her arm.). Faith: Are you still tired? Mara: I’m exhausted sis. Faith: Have you still been struggling to sleep? Mara: Nope. I seem to be sleeping a lot. Faith: Hm. Maybe you should see the doctor. Mara: Let’s not. Faith: Sis there is something wrong with you. We’ve all noticed you know? Mara: Noticed what? 

(Mara’s heart starts to race. She is aware of Jacob sitting there looking at them from over the top of the book.). Faith: You’ve been sleeping in for one. You don’t usually. You’ve also been eating more at breakfast then at dinner you don’t want anything. Mara: What are you talking about? You’re doing my fucking head in sis! I think there’s something wrong with you! (Mara gets up and leaves slamming the front door behind her. Faith looks confused.). Faith: I don’t understand. Why is she mad at me? Jacob: I don’t know. (John walks in.). John: Who keeps slamming my door? Faith: That would be my sister. She’s in a mood again. John: Want me to talk to her? Faith: Would you? John: Of course. (John leaves the chalet. He looks around as he walks around the grounds. He sees Mara over by the shed sitting on one of the sun loungers. He goes over to her and sits down on the other one. She is smoking a cigarette.). John: Now where did you get that from? Mara: Lonny. John: Really? Mara: Yep. I caught him drinking whiskey and I told him that I’d keep my mouth shut if he gave me some smokes. John: I see. So he’s still drinking? Mara: Everybody’s addicted to something. Everyone needs something. John: Hm. Why are you angry with your sister? Mara: I’m not. She just keeps banging on asking what’s wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me I’m just tired. It annoys me when people keep asking the same fucking question. ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Are you okay?’ Uh it does my head in. (He chuckles.). John: Little Miss Wrath. Mara: You make it sound cute when you say it like that. John: It is cute. Like you. (He smiles at her. She smiles back.). Mara: Really? Thanks I guess. (There is silence for a moment. Mara thinks about telling John. He is the one who everyone confesses to after all. He listens to all. But would he understand? Would he help her? Would he look after her? She also wonders if Joseph would look after her. Because she knows Jacob isn’t going to. Suddenly she has tears rolling down her cheeks before she can stop them. John looks at her frowning before reaching over and taking hold of her hand.). John: Hey. What’s wrong? Mara: Nothing. John: Tell me. (She pulls her hand away from his and wipes her eyes.). Mara: Okay. But you have to promise not to laugh. John: I promise. Mara: You won’t laugh? John: I won’t laugh. Mara: It’s...That time of the month. I’ve got it really bad this time. They’re sometimes like that. That’s why I’ve been so tired this past week and I’ve been moody and hormonal and snapping at everyone like an alligator. Then randomly I just find myself crying over nothing like a complete mad woman. (John chuckles. She smacks him playfully.). Mara: You promised not to laugh you dickhead. (But she is laughing too. He chuckles.). Mara: You know what would help? (She smiles at him and takes hold of his hand again. He raises his eyebrows and grins.). John: Oh? Mara: Nothing like that you saucy git. (He chuckles.). John: How do you know I was thinking about something saucy? Mara: Because I know you. You are insatiable Jonny Appleseed. (He glares at her.). Mara: No don’t be like that I told you that’s your nickname now. Like mine is Little Miss Wrath. It’s our little thing now. John: Is it? Mara: Yep. (She squeezes his hand. He smiles and raises their hands to his lips pressing a soft kiss to the back of her hand.). Mara: What are you doing? John: Kissing your hand. Like a true gent. Which I am obviously. (She laughs. He grins like a child.). Mara: Oh I love you. (She laughs again. He raises his eyebrows.). John: What was that now? Mara: No. Nothing. John: You just told me that you loved me. Mara: No. No I didn’t. I said no such thing. (He leans over placing his lips close to her ear.). John: Yes you did. You loooove me. (She giggles.). Mara: It’s my hormones you see. John: Oh yeah? Mara: Yeah it is. Honest. John: Um. (Their lips are inches apart now. His eyes travel down to her lips then back up again.). Mara: You gonna try and kiss me again? Coz you remember what happened last time. John: Um. It was worth it though. To feel the softness of those beautiful lips. (Mara’s heart clenches tight and she feels a flutter in her abdomen. She wishes that Jacob could be like that. Showering her in compliments and holding her hand like John is. Though last time she spent the night with Jacob he did call her beautiful.). Mara: Uh huh. John: But I am dangerously close to sinning now and I must stop myself before I go too far. (He moves away from her and lets go of her hand.). John: So what was it that would help you with your awful menstrual cycle. (She laughs.). Mara: The way you said that. Most people call them periods you know? I could go into detail if you like. John: Oh? (He chuckles.). John: I think I know how it works. Mara: Well I was just thinking that after dinner and after the others have gone I could use your bathroom coz you have a proper bathtub and I haven’t had a proper bath in ages. I could have a nice hot bath which would help with the cramps and this constant feeling of being filthy that I have. I could also get a very good night’s sleep in that cosy spare room of yours. I usually sleep in a barn with a wall missing and five other people two of which snore loudly. Stop me if I’m being cheeky or taking the piss. John: Hm. You want to stay here the night and have a nice hot bath? Mara: That...Would be nice. Look forget I asked okay? It’s fine. (She throws the cigarette butt on the ground and gets up. He gets up and grabs her arm.). John: Hey. You can stay. Just as long as you don’t leave cigarette butts all over my lovely garden. Mara: Thanks. (She bends down and picks up the cigarette butt. John stares at her ass. Damn.). Mara: I’ll put it in the bin. Promise. (She smiles then wraps her arms around him.). Mara: I do love you, you know? You’re a good friend. John: Thank you. (She laughs.). Mara: You’re meant to say love you too. Dickhead. (She laughs and smacks him playfully. He grins.). John: Love you too dickhead. (She laughs harder. He chuckles. They go back inside and Mara goes to the kitchen putting her cigarette butt in the bin. She goes over to Faith and wraps her arms around her. She whispers in her ear.). Mara: I’m sorry I got all stressed out with you sis. I’ve got my monthly and it’s bad this time. It’s made me feel really ill and I’ve been moody and snappy and not feeling like eating and I’ve felt all hormonal and the slightest thing makes me cry seriously. I feel like a mad woman. I’m sorry sis. Faith: Why didn’t you just tell me that? Mara: Coz I’m an idiot and hormonal and snappy like an alligator. I just told John all about it and he didn’t even seem embarrassed you know? I couldn’t imagine explaining to Joe why I’m hormonal and moody. (Faith laughs.). Faith: Sis you do make me laugh. (Mara laughs.). Mara: Glad to be of assistance. Faith: You can start chopping the vegetables if you like. Mara: Oh yes let the raging hormonal moody cow use a knife. (Faith giggles. Mara smiles and starts chopping the vegetables. Joseph suddenly stands up from the table and goes over to Mara.). Mara: Joe seriously how long have you been sat there and why didn’t I see you? Wizard see? He’s got an invisibility cloak like Harry Potter. Faith: What? (Faith is giggling.). Mara: Joe’s a wizard. Joseph: I am not a wizard. Mara: You are. Just accept it Joe. (She smiles at him. He is wearing a white shirt with a black waistcoat.). Mara: I like that waistcoat by the way. It suits you. Joseph: Thank you. Are you unhappy Mara? Mara: What do you mean? Joseph: You seem to be unhappy I just wondered why that was. Mara: It’s...Hormones. Really not something a young girl speaks to her father about. (Faith giggles again.). Faith: Oh sis stop it! You’re making me spill water everywhere. Mara: Don’t be so clumsy then. Joseph: I see. Hormones. Mara: Yes us women are forever cursed with this thing called a period Joe. Gods way of taking the piss out of us women I’m sure. It makes us snappy, moody, hormonal and we feel like crying one minute and screaming the next. Joseph: I see. (Joseph decides to ignore the way she spoke about the lord. He really has no clue what to say to that anyway.). Faith: Lexi says that they are your bodies way of reminding you to hurry up and get pregnant. (Mara freezes.). Mara: What? Hurry up and get pregnant? Oh I see coz we’re women we have to pop out a few kids do we? Damn it’s like we don’t even get a fucking choice anymore. Faith: What are you on about now? Mara: Well don’t you ever feel like that sis? That being a woman is bloody hard in today’s society. Apparently we’re lower than the men, weaker than them and are only good for popping out kids. Makes me wish I hadn’t been born sometimes. Or that I’d been born a boy. (Faith is looking at Mara with a funny face.). Faith: Just ignore her Father. Hormones. (Mara giggles.). Mara: What it’s true. That’s how I feel. That because I am unfortunate enough to be a woman that means I have to have kids. Faith: You don’t have to have kids sis. Mara: Too right I fucking don’t. I won’t either. I’d need to find a man that wanted me first. (Mara laughs, Faith giggles and shakes her head.). Faith: Ah sis you are so strange and random. Mara: Oh thanks. Hear that Joe? I’m strange now. John: What on earth did you have in that cigarette Mara? (John has appeared in the doorway.). Mara: It must run in the family this wizardry. (John frowns.). John: What? Mara: The way you and your brothers just seem to appear out of nowhere. I think Joe is a wizard. (John laughs.). John: Seriously what was in that cigarette? Faith: You’re smoking again? Mara: What do you mean again sis? I never stopped smoking I just ran out of smokes. Faith: Where did you get them from? Mara: Lonny. Faith: Lonny gave you cigarettes? Mara: Yep. I caught him with whiskey so I said I’d keep my mouth shut if he gave me his smokes and he did. Though I haven’t kept my mouth shut so I am a tell tale and a liar. I’m doing so well today aren’t I? John: You were right to tell me about Lonny’s continued drinking. It must be addressed. Joseph: He continues to disappoint himself and the rest of us. Mara: Look I know he can be a dickhead but go easy on him okay? I know how hard it can be to change. How hard it can be to let go. I smoke coz it’s something to do and something to keep me sane. I think that I need a cigarette when really it’s just the addiction to the nicotine talking. Like Lonny with the booze. It’s really hard to quit something when you’ve depended on it and been addicted to it so long you know? John: Yes. It is. (Mara finishes chopping the vegetables and puts them in the pot.). Faith: Thanks sis. (Mara boils the kettle and makes herself a tea. She usually likes coffee but lately it’s been making her want to gag. She suddenly can’t stand the smell or the taste of coffee.). Mara: Anyone else having a hot drink? John: I’ll have coffee. Joseph: Tea will be fine. Mara: No sugar right Joe? Coz you’re sweet enough? Joseph: Yes. John: Are you trying to flirt with my brother Mara? (Faith tuts.). Mara: No. It’s just something people say innit? (Mara makes the drinks trying her best not to inhale the scent of coffee. She then picks up her tea and goes to the lounge. Jacob is still sat flicking through the book. He is sitting on the sofa now though. She sits down next to him and watches as he scratches at his chin. She sees a rash there.). Mara: Scratching it will make it worse you know? (He grunts.). Mara: You need some Sudocreme. Jacob: Don’t need nothing. Mara: Stubborn. What are you reading? Jacob: You can read can’t you? (He shows her the cover. She feels her cheeks turning red. She smiles.). Mara: Alright. You be all moody. Jacob: Hm. This coming from you. You’ve been in a mood since you got here. (She looks at the floor. She really wants to tell him. Maybe she should do it now. He can’t get mad and beat her if his brothers are here can he? If her sister is here? They wouldn’t allow it would they? Who is she kidding? Like that would matter to Jacob. Maybe she has him all wrong. Maybe if she simply tells him, if she simply talks to the guy he’d be alright with it. Maybe he’d accept it. Or maybe he’d just tell her he didn’t want nothing to do with it and that would be that. Maybe he wouldn’t get all mad and violent like she thinks he would.). Jacob: What’s up with you? You’ve gone really pale. Mara: I’m fine. Jacob: You’re a terrible liar. (Tell him. Just fucking tell him. But she’s so fucking scared.). Mara: I’m scared. (Jacob blinks at her.). Jacob: Fear is a weakness. Mara: You don’t understand. (Tell him! Just tell him now is your chance.). Mara: Jacob...I’m- (Joseph and John walk in. John is laughing.). John: Faith wants you to lay the table Mara. Mara: Yeah...Sure. (Jacob frowns staring at Mara. She looks so sad and defeated all of a sudden. Mara gets up and goes to the kitchen. She returns with cutlery and plates which she starts setting out on the table. Jacob gets up and puts the book back on the shelf where he found it and watches Mara lay the table. He watches as she wipes a tear from her eye. He frowns. She then straightens up and turns pulling the large grey cardigan around her. She smiles at him. John walks over.). John: That’s my best cutlery. We are not using my best cutlery for a Sunday dinner. Mara: Then when are we meant to use it? John: You’re not. Mara: Then what’s the point in it? John: That is a three thousand dollar cutlery set. Mara: What? Well they saw you coming didn’t they? I reckon you’ve been had. John: No I have not been had. Joseph: That’s enough John. They are only knives and forks. John: Yes Joseph. (John returns to the kitchen.). Mara: It’s so sad that he thinks he has to have all this expensive stuff to make himself happy. He thinks he has to always be better because he isn’t good enough and yet he is just fine the way he is. (Joseph regards Mara before smiling slightly.). Mara: What? Did I say something wrong? I’d just ignore me Joe I’m probably chatting a load of shit with all these hormones I’ve got raging away in me. Joseph: No. You said it just about right actually. Mara: Oh? Well that’s a first for me. (Faith comes in holding plates of food. John follows her and they both put plates on the table filled with meat, vegetables, potatoes and Yorkshire puddings. Faith then brings in a dish filled with stuffing. Once the table is set John brings in a jug of water. Mara finishes her tea and takes her mug to the kitchen. When she returns the others have sat down at the table. Faith has moved some of the plates and cutlery around. Joseph sits at the head of the table. Jacob sits to his right, John to his left. Faith sits next to John. She indicates the chair next to Jacob and Mara sits down next to him. Joseph then takes his brothers hands. Faith holds John’s hand then reaches over the table and takes Mara’s hand. Jacob places his hand on the table palm up and Mara places her hand on his. Joseph then says grace and they start to eat. Faith keeps glancing at Mara. She frowns as she watches Mara put stuffing inside her Yorkshire pudding then dip it in mince sauce before eating it. Mara sees Faith looking at her funny.). Mara: What? Faith: Nothing. Was that actually nice? Mara: What? Faith: The Yorkshire pudding, stuffing, mince sauce sandwich. Mara: Yep. (Faith then watches as Mara dips just about everything in the mince sauce before eating it including her carrots and potatoes.). Faith: You like mince sauce don’t you sis? (Mara shrugs. Once they have finished eating Faith takes the plates and cutlery to the kitchen. She returns with a strawberry cake and some ice cream.). John: What’s this? Faith: Dessert. John: We never have dessert. Faith: I learned how to bake. I’ve been practising so I thought I would make something as a treat. John: Hm. (Faith cuts the cake and places a slice on each of the small plates. Mara has never really liked cake. The look of it now makes her feel sick. Then she wishes that she had some mint ice cream instead of the vanilla that Faith has got. She suddenly really wants mint ice cream. She suddenly feels light headed and she really needs to pee. She constantly feels like she needs to pee lately. She sighs.). Mara: Excuse me. (She gets up and leaves the room going upstairs to the bathroom. She uses the loo then washes her hands. She then splashes water on her face before drying it with the towel. She sighs and stands in front of the mirror staring at herself. She has no idea what to do. She has thought about leaving. Disappearing. But that would mean abandoning her sister. She can’t do that. She lets out a sob and lifts her top staring at her stomach. She then stands side on. She looks bloated. Her breasts are falling out of the top of the bra. Her bras are all too small now. They were a little small on her to start with as they were Franky’s old bras. Her breasts are killing her. It doesn’t help that her bra is now cutting into her skin. She decides to just take her bra off. As soon as she does she lets out a small sigh of relief. That feels so much better. She drapes her bra over the towel rail before going back downstairs. She gets herself a glass of water and returns to the dining table. She sits back down next to Jacob.). Faith: Are you alright sis? Mara: I’m fine. Faith: I know you don’t like cake which is why I got the ice cream. Mara: Thanks sis. (Mara eats two small scoops of ice cream.). Joseph: Thank you for a lovely meal Faith. John: Thank you Faith. Mara: Thanks sis. (Jacob grunts and gets up leaving the room. Mara hears his thudding footsteps going upstairs.). Mara: Do you want me to help you with the washing up sis? Faith: Yes. Mara: I think John should help too though. Seeing as it’s his precious cutlery. (John glares at Mara.). Mara: What? This is your house so you should help with the washing up. Come on we’ll all do it it’ll be fun. (Mara gets up and picks up the plates and spoons taking them to the kitchen. Faith grabs the rest and joins her. John sighs before going to the kitchen. Mara fills the sink and grabs the sponge. Once the sink is full Mara dips her hand in it and splashes John.). John: Hey! (Faith giggles. Mara smiles. John steps forward. He grabs Mara and shoves her into the side. She cries out and grabs her stomach. Faith frowns.). Faith: Sis are you okay? You don’t need to be so rough John she was only messing around. John: So was I. I hardly touched her. Mara: I’m okay. Just...Be careful. (Faith frowns.). Faith: Sis are you hurt? Mara: What? No. I would have been the way he was shoving me into the counter. John: I hardly touched you. (Mara glares at him before splashing him with water again. She laughs before reaching up and spiking some of his hair up.). John: Hey! Off the hair! Mara: But it looks so good like that don’t it sis? Faith: I don’t know. Mara: Oh come on. (Faith giggles.). Mara: Spiky hair. (Jacob comes down the stairs to see John with his arms around Mara pushing her against the counter. She is giggling and messing with his hair. John starts laughing as Mara starts tickling him. Poking him in the ribs.). John: No. Stop. Stop it! (John laughs harder. Jacob has never seen his brother laugh like that. He feels weird though. Seeing John with his hands on Mara makes him feel weird. He has no idea why, it makes no logical sense to him. He isn’t interested in her. She was just a fuck. So why does he feel weird? Jacob clears his throat. John turns to him.). Mara: Jakey Baby. (John raises his eyebrows.). John: Jakey baby? How come he gets a nickname like that and I get...Johnny Appleseed? (Faith laughs. Mara smiles.). Mara: Coz he’s better looking than you. Faith: Oh! John: What? What? I don’t think so. Mara: I do. John: What has Jacob done to you? You can tell me. Did he pay you to say that? Did he threaten you? Mara: Jacob threaten me? (She laughs.). Mara: I’d like to see that. John: Oh. Brother she is asking for it. (Mara smiles at Jacob. His lips twitch slightly. Mara then turns back to the sink and starts washing up. A minute later she splashes John with water again.). John: Hey! I won’t let you stay. Mara: Oh. You want me to stay. John: I won’t let you if you keep ruining my clothes. Mara: What? They’re not ruined. It’s only water. You need more chill John. (Faith giggles. Mara continues washing up. Suddenly John walks up behind Mara and dunks her head in the sink. Faith gasps.). Faith: John! (John chuckles and lets go of Mara who straightens up coughing. She wipes her face on the tea towel then turns to John.). Mara: Dickhead! (John laughs harder. Mara finds herself laughing too. Jacob chuckles and shakes his head. Faith giggles. Joseph enters the kitchen and John immediately stops laughing.). Joseph: What is all the ruckus? Mara: We were just having a water fight. Well not really a fight. I kept splashing John with water and he got all annoyed so he dunked my head in the sink. John: Washing away some more of those sins. (Mara laughs before continuing to wash up while Faith dries. Jacob makes himself a cup of coffee. He feels weird again at the thought of Mara staying here with John. He can’t describe the feeling nor does he know what it means. He doesn’t even care about her. At all. So why would he be bothered? He feels someone poke him and turns to see Mara gazing up at him.). Mara: You okay handsome? (Jacob grunts and picks up his coffee before returning to the lounge. Mara shrugs and finishes washing up before drying her hands. Joseph walks over to Mara and lightly touches her arm. His fingers soft and gentle against her skin.). Mara: Why are you feeling me up? Faith: Sis! Mara: What? (Mara pulls away from him and Joseph sees how uncomfortable she is.). Joseph: Can we talk? Mara: If you like. Joseph: Outside. Mara: Okay. (Mara goes outside with Joseph following her. She takes a cigarette out of the pocket of her cardigan and lights it. Joseph regards her sternly.). Joseph: You should quit that awful habit. Mara: Um. Should. But I won’t coz I’m me. Lonny should quit drinking. But he won’t. That’s people for you Joe. Always doing shit that’s no good for us. (She walks across the grass then sits down on the ground cross legged. He does the same sitting opposite her.). Joseph: Put the cigarette out my child. Mara: You gonna spank me if I don’t? (He grits his teeth.). Joseph: There is always attitude with you. Mara: No there isn’t. That’s just how you see it Joe. It was a joke. Jeez you have no sense of humour. (She sighs.). Mara: Everyone is so serious. Joseph: The collapse isn’t a joke. We must prepare not waste time fooling around. Mara: But if you don’t have a laugh you’ll end up going mad. Everyone needs to crack a joke now and then. Everyone needs to laugh too it’s good for you. Maybe that’s why you and your brothers have such sad eyes. All you’ve had is drama and rubbish. You need fun and laughter for a change. Joseph: I have a purpose as do we all. The lords will must be done and those that can be saved must be saved. Mara: I’m sure the lord would understand if you took some time for yourself. To relax. After all I do think it slightly cheeky of him to ask this of you in the first place. I mean it isn’t exactly fair to ask one man to save the world not really. If God wants it saved so badly why doesn’t he help? Because he just doesn’t care not really. Joseph: You are not a believer? Mara: Not in God. I mean okay he exists but I don’t believe in him. I think the only person you can truly believe in is yourself. Coz everyone else just lets you down. Joseph: That is why we have faith. Mara: Must be nice. To be so sure of everything. To be sure everything will work out. (She takes another drag of the cigarette.). Joseph: It will. You will see. Mara: What is it you wanted to talk about anyway? Joseph: I wanted to talk about you. Mara: Me? Why? I think I’d bore you pretty fast Joe. (She smiles. He gazes at her and she feels like he is reading her mind again. She wonders if she should just tell him now while they are alone.). Joseph: I find you interesting. Mara: Really? No one’s ever interested in me. Joseph: Faith told me that you showed true faith. Mara: I did what? Joseph: You took the leap of faith. Mara: You mean when she drugged me again? Joseph: The Bliss is useful. Mara: It’s drugs. All drugs do is destroy. You lecture me on cigarettes and booze yet you want me doped up on some hallucinogenic? Joseph: Attitude. Mara: I’m just saying it like it is Joe. I don’t understand how you can have a problem with me smoking but not have a problem with drugs. Joseph: The Bliss is useful. It is more than just a drug. It is a path to the garden. It soothes those that are afraid. That are unsure. Mara: Ah you mean brainwashing now. Joseph: No. Merely making them see. Mara: Yeah well I’d rather not use it if it’s all the same to you. It just makes me very ill for days on end. Joseph: It effects everyone differently. Though I was pleased to hear that you showed faith in me. Mara: Should I have faith in you? Joseph: Yes. Mara: Can I trust you to look after me? Or are you just going to abandon me like all the others? Joseph: A father does not abandon his children. (She finds herself looking at the tattoo on his arm. It is of a pretty dark haired woman. She slowly reaches out and lifts his arm turning it slightly to see the tattoo better.). Joseph: She’s beautiful isn’t she? (Mara pulls her hand away. She wonders if a man would ever talk about her like that. What it would feel like if they did.). Joseph: She was my wife. (Whoa! She never would have guessed that this guy was married. This surprises her.). Mara: Did she leave you? Joseph: She died. In a car accident. Mara: Sorry. Has Jacob ever been married? (The question is out of her mouth before she can think. Joseph looks a little surprised.). Joseph: No. He hasn’t. Mara: Hm. He isn’t really the social type. Joseph: Jacob brought many demons home with him from the war. Mara: He told me. About some of it. Joseph: He did? Mara: Yeah. (She stares at the floor as she finishes the cigarette before putting it out in the grass.). Joseph: I am surprised he told you anything. He is usually a private person. Quiet. Mara: Very guarded you mean? Yeah I got that from him. He doesn’t do emotions either. It’s like he has no feelings for anyone or anything. The word nihilist comes to mind when I think about Jacob. I think he only told me stuff coz he was...Never mind. Joseph: What? Mara: Nothing. Joseph: Was he drunk by any chance? (She smiles at him.). Mara: See? You can read minds Joe. Wizard. (His lips twitch.). Joseph: I just know my brother. Mara: There’s nothing wrong with alcohol as long as you don’t drink too much too often. Otherwise it becomes a problem. Joseph: It should not be drunk at all. (She shrugs.). Joseph: Have you read my bible yet? (She is silent.). Mara: Not yet. Joseph: I am disappointed in you my child. Mara: Told you so. (He frowns.). Mara: What? I told you that I’m no good at anything. That I’m useless. That you wouldn’t want me. That it wouldn’t be long before you got rid of me. You didn’t listen. Joseph: Because that isn’t true my child. You just don’t help yourself. You must read it. You must understand. You must know your purpose. I fear that you won’t be saved if you continue to ignore what is coming. Mara: I’m not ignoring it. (She gets up.). Mara: Nice talk. (She walks off heading back to the chalet. Joseph sighs and follows her. Everyone is sitting in the lounge. Mara sits in the armchair. Joseph goes upstairs to use the bathroom. As he is leaving he notices the black lacy bra hanging on the towel rail. He frowns staring at it. Then he feels the familiar disappointment creep through him. John. He sighs and picks up the bra before returning downstairs. John is sitting with his arm draped around Mara and they are laughing together.). Mara: No seriously that’s how it goes! John: I don’t believe you. Mara: It does. (Faith giggles.). Joseph: John? John: Yes Joseph? (Joseph holds up the bra. Mara stares at it and she feels her cheeks turning red.). Joseph: Who’s is this? (John frowns looking confused.). John: I don’t know. Joseph: Is it Holly’s? John: Holly’s? Why would it be hers? Joseph: I know you have spent quite a few nights with her I am not blind John. John: It was a long time ago. I have been doing well. I am sin free I swear. I’m doing everything you want me to. Joseph: Then what is this doing in your bathroom? Do not lie to me brother. Who’s is it? (Mara’s face is burning. She sighs.). Mara: Mine. It’s mine. (Faith gasps. Joseph stares at her.). Joseph: Yours? Mara: Yeah. Now do you mind not waving it around? Jeez embarrass me much. (Mara gets up and snatches the bra off of Joseph.). Mara: Then I guess that’s what fathers are meant to do. Embarrass their daughters. Joseph: This is not a joke Mara. You must atone for your actions. Mara: What actions? Taking my bra off coz it’s too fucking small coz I can’t afford clothes that fit? It was cutting into my skin and my tits are already sore so I took it off. I left it in the bathroom coz I didn’t exactly want to carry it around the house with me. (There is silence. Mara sighs and shakes her head.). Mara: It’s always gonna be like this innit? I just constantly get accused of shit. Coz I must be up to no good at all times right? Joseph: I apologise. I made the wrong assumption. Mara: Yeah you did. Big time. To think that you go on at Holly for jumping to conclusions! Hypocrite! (Mara goes upstairs. Joseph goes after her. He sees her go into the bathroom and he follows her.). Joseph: Do not walk away from me my child. (He stands in the doorway staring at her.). Mara: Sorry. It was just...Embarrassing. I wasn’t expecting removing my bra would cause drama. Joseph: I apologise. Mara: It’s okay. You know it looked kinda funny. You standing there waving this bra around. (He stares at her.). Mara: You never smile Joe. Why do you never smile? (He smiles at her. She smiles back.). Mara: That’s better. Joseph: You should smile more often too. You always look so unhappy my child. Are you not happy with us? Mara: I guess I’m just waiting for it all to be ripped away. Everyone I get close to either dies or leaves me. So... (She shrugs.). Joseph: Nobody is leaving you. You are part of our family now. A part of us. You have a purpose here. You have been saved. You will join us in the new world. In the new Eden. (She wonders what he would think if he knew she had been fucking his brother. If he knew her secret.). Joseph: You look like you don’t have much faith. Mara: I guess not right now. I’m new at this...Trusting people thing. Having a family coz I’ve never had one before except for Bonnie and my sister. I’m just scared that you’re going to realise one day that you don’t want me after all. Then I’ll be alone on the streets again. (He wraps his arms around her pulling her close to him.). Joseph: Have faith. That is not going to happen. You are wanted here. You are welcome here. You have given up your sin and been cleansed. You have given yourself to me. To us. To the church. I have not forgotten how you protected us against that attack. Mara: That’s what you do for family isn’t it? (He smiles at her before pressing a kiss to her forehead. He then turns and leaves the bathroom. She hears his footsteps fade down the hall then the stairs. She closes the door and uses the loo before splashing water on her face. It’s so hard to know what to believe. The people in town telling her that these people are evil. Joseph doesn’t seem evil. He seems...Kind, calm and caring even. But then she remembers that men are the best manipulators. Her own father managed to hide the fact that he was a drug dealer for years. That priest hid the fact that he was a paedophile. She then remembers how John enjoyed hurting her. How he enjoyed every slice he made into her skin. How he nearly drowned her in the river. The pieces of human skin stapled to the wall. Jacob and the cages with people in them. She can see why some would call this family evil. But it’s so hard to see just one side. Especially when her sister is one of them. Then she reminds herself that she is one of them now too. She has defended them, fought for them, given herself to them. She sighs and goes back downstairs. Joseph and the others are saying goodbye to John. Mara hugs her sister.). Faith: What’s this for? Mara: You’re going aren’t you? Faith: Yes. Aren’t you coming too? Mara: No. Faith: Why? Mara: I need to speak to John about something. Faith: Is everything alright? Mara: Yeah course it is. (Mara smiles. Faith smiles back.). Faith: Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. You could bring the truck over to my bunker from the compound. Steve’s loaded up some supplies for me. Mara: Um...I’ll try. Faith: What do you mean silly? (Mara looks embarrassed and awkward.). Mara: I’ve never driven a car before much less a truck. Faith: Oh. Well maybe you could take Steve with you and he could give you a driving lesson on the way over. It’s easy sis. Mara: That sounds awesome. Faith: Great. See you tomorrow. Mara: You will. (Joseph smiles at Mara. She smiles back before going to the kitchen. Jacob looks after her frowning not failing to notice how she was avoiding looking at him. Not that he cares. He then remembers that she was going to tell him something earlier before the others came in. He doubts it was anything important. He turns and leaves the chalet with Joseph and Faith. John closes the door behind them and goes to the kitchen. Mara has made herself a cup of tea.). Mara: Do you want a hot drink? John: I’ll have a tea. (She makes another cup of tea in his plane mug.). John: So...What did you want to talk me about? Mara: What? (She looks confused.). John: You told Faith that you needed to speak to me about something. Mara: Oh. No I just said that to shut her up. John: What do you mean? Mara: Well if I’d have said oh I’m staying here for the night they might have accused us of sleeping together again so I thought if I told her I just needed to talk to you it would sound less weird. John: I see. But you don’t need to lie Mara. We have nothing to hide. Mara: I know. But you know what people are like. Gossip. Gossip. Gossip. Jon: Oh yes. They do. Mara: It doesn’t help when Holly is constantly stirring. You know she accused me of sleeping with Jacob too? Right in front of Joseph. (Though Holly was right about that one. Oh if only she knew.). John: Did she? Mara: Yeah. I don’t know what her problem is John. I don’t understand how someone I barely know can hate me so much. John: She doesn’t hate you. Her sin is envy. She thinks that we are more than what we are. So she doesn’t like it that you and I have been spending time together. Mara: She’s in love with you. John: No. Mara: Why else would she be so bothered? She clearly cares for you John. I know the other night she waited up nearly all night for you to get back to the compound after going to find Lonny. She waited for you to get back so that she knew you were safe. Because she cares about you. John: It was...Just sex. Mara: For you maybe. That’s what you men don’t seem to realise. For you it’s just sex but for all you know for the woman it’s much more than that. We have feelings you know? John: I know that. But I believe I made it clear that we were not serious. Mara: I wasn’t blaming you for anything or trying to say you did anything wrong. You don’t need to explain to yourself to me John. It’s fine. It’s your business. I’m just saying that sometimes...Even when it starts as just sex...It can lead to more. One person starts to develop feelings and... (She shrugs. He frowns at her.). John: You sound like you are speaking from experience. Mara: Me? No. Nobody’s ever...No...Not me. I am not the girl that gets the guy. (She lets out a small laugh before picking up her mug and going to the lounge. He follows her and sits down.). John: I find that hard to believe you know? Mara: Well it’s the truth. There was only really Alex. I didn’t know any other guys and the one’s I did were...Not very nice. I thought Alex was nice and I thought he liked me. He gave me that impression you know? He genuinely acted like he liked me. But it was a joke. To him it was a joke. He found it funny when he kissed me and I thought...It hurt. (She shrugs.). Mara: So that’s what I am. Just the joke. You know I often wonder what it would be like to have someone that loved me. Someone that thought I was beautiful. John: I think you’re beautiful. (She looks at him and he can see that she looks so sad. He frowns.). Mara: Thanks. (She takes a sip of her tea.). John: Is that why you are sad? Because you want someone? Mara: Doesn’t everyone? I mean that’s life isn’t it? Everyone else seems to meet someone and get married and have...Kids. I just wonder if...That’ll ever be me. What if...There isn’t anyone for me? What if I never find that one person I am meant to share my life with? Or worse what if I meet him and he doesn’t want me? John: How would he not want you? He would be foolish not to want you. (She sips her tea and looks at the floor.). John: Besides you don’t need to worry about things like that. You don’t need a man...Or have lustful thoughts entered your mind? Mara: No. It would just be nice to have someone that loved me. Haven’t you ever wondered if you would ever get married? (He smiles and lets out a breath.). John: Marriage? Oh I don’t know. I hardly think it’s in the cards for me. I am far too busy helping my brother with the project. Mara: But do you want to get married? To find that someone who loves you and completes you and makes you happy. It must get lonely in this big house all by yourself. John: Yes I suppose it does at times. But marriage...I don’t know. It’s a big commitment. Mara: Not if it’s the right person. I don’t get people who talk about it like it’s awful and a chore. It tells me that they have married the wrong person. If two people love each other and make each other happy they will do anything for them, they wouldn’t see it as a chore would they? (He smiles.). John: You’ve been giving this a lot of thought. Is that what this is, a marriage proposal? (He chuckles.). Mara: No. Just forget I said anything. Must be the hormones. John: Ah yes. Blame them for everything. Mara: I will. (He chuckles. She finishes her tea and puts her mug on the side table. She then leans back and closes her eyes.). John: Tired? Mara: Yeah. John: I thought you wanted a bath. Mara: Is that okay? John: Of course. Mara: Thanks. (She gets up and goes upstairs. He takes the mugs to the kitchen and puts them in the sink. He then goes upstairs and into his study. He sits down at the desk and picks up a small paintbrush and finishes painting his latest finished plane model. 

---Mara lies in the bath with her eyes closed trying to just relax for one minute. But she can’t. Because she knows she can’t hide this for long. She doesn’t know how to tell anyone, she doesn’t know what to say. She could see one of the doctors and just tell them to sort it for her. But then they might tell Joseph. Maybe she could go to Missoula and see a doctor there. She looks down at her stomach then places a hand on it. Tears fill her eyes. Maybe she should just tell Jacob. She suddenly finds herself imagining him smiling at her then kneeling down and pressing a kiss to her stomach. A sob escapes her throat. She knows it wouldn’t happen like that. She isn’t stupid she knows the kind of man Jacob is. Angry, broken and deranged. Locking people in cages and...Killing. Why did she have to like him?! She curses the day she met him. There has to be something wrong with her for her to like a man like that. But when she lay in his arms she felt safe and warm. It was nice. She liked it. She sighs as she tries to think of some plan but she has none. Would people even understand how she feels about Jacob? Would they think her mad for liking a man like that? Because she does have feelings for him. She’s only known him for three months but she’s somehow managed to develop feelings for him. She lies there sobbing. She finds herself thinking for a moment about just sliding under the bath water and staying there. She wouldn’t have to worry about anything. It will all be over. 

---John has finished painting the plane. He leaves it to dry and gets up going down the hall. He passes the bathroom and sees the door wide open. He frowns. Mara must be in his en suite. He goes into the bedroom and knocks on the bathroom door. There is no reply. He knocks again.). John: Mara? (Still no answer. He knocks again.). John: Mara? Have you fallen asleep in there again? (Still no answer. He tries to open the door but it’s locked. He bangs on the door hard.). John: Mara! (He stands there for a moment then he sighs angrily and kicks the door open. The lock falls to the floor and part of the frame splinters. He steps into the bathroom.). John: Wake up! You’ve made me break my door now! (He freezes as he sees Mara lying in the bath under the water. Her eyes are closed and she isn’t moving.). John: Mara! (He yanks her out of the bathtub and lies her on the bathroom floor. He then starts pumping her chest before giving her mouth to mouth.). John: Come on. Come on. (He continues to pump her chest before giving her mouth to mouth again. Just as he thinks all is lost she coughs and splutters. He rolls her onto her side and grabs a towel draping it over her. He can’t help but notice her naked body. He has seen everything now. He has seen all of her. His jeans are suddenly way too tight in the groin area and he reprimands himself for having such thoughts and feelings. This is really not the time. Mara moans as she lies there gasping.). John: Mara? Mara: Um? John: Are you okay? (She lies there then rolls onto her back. She blinks up at him frowning.). Mara: What are you doing in here? (She realises she is naked and sits up pulling the towel around her.). John: I had to kick the door in. Mara: What? Why? John: You wouldn’t answer me. It was lucky I did. You nearly drowned. Mara: What made you kick the door in? John: I told you. You wouldn’t answer me. I wanted to use my bathroom. My toothbrush and shower gel is in here. You were lucky I did. You could have died. Mara: I guess. I must have fallen asleep and slid under. John: You really need to stop falling asleep in bathtubs. It’s actually quite dangerous. Mara: So it would seem. Well...I’m gonna get dressed now. (She gets up and coughs again. He pats her on the back and wraps his arms around her.). John: Are you sure you’re okay? I can get a doctor. Mara: No. I’ll be fine. John: You know you could still drown. It happens. Someone nearly drowns and they say they are fine but then later they are found dead. All it takes is some water in your lungs and- Mara: I’m fine okay. You can stop worrying. (She starts to dry herself off. John stares as he watches her...Her large breasts, the curve of her hips. Her bare ass. He swallows hard.). John: What are you doing? Mara: Getting dressed. John: Showing me your naked body...Teasing me again. Mara: I’m not teasing you. You’ve already seen everything now so there’s no point trying to cover it up is there? (She throws the towel on the floor before putting her knickers and leggings on followed by her baggy black top and the cardigan. She sounded annoyed.). John: You are beautiful. (She freezes staring at the wall. Oh how she wants to hear Jacob say that to her.). Mara: Stop being an idiot. John: But I am not an idiot. Mara: Whatever you say. John: Aren’t you going to thank me for saving your life? Mara: Yeah great. Thanks. (She empties the bathwater then looks at herself in the mirror. She then picks the towel back up and starts drying her hair. It’s so long it always takes her ages to dry it even with a hairdryer.). Mara: Do you have a hairdryer? John: Yes. (He opens the cupboard under the sink and takes out a hairdryer. He plugs it into the wall socket.). Mara: Thanks. John: Are you going to be long? I need to take a shower. Mara: It takes ages to dry my hair. Can’t you use the other bathroom? John: This is my bathroom like I told you. I want to use this one. Mara: Okay. Have your shower. (She switches on the hairdryer and starts drying her hair. He stares at her frowning.). John: I said I’m going to have a shower! (He has to shout over the noise of the hairdryer. Mara turns it off.). Mara: Yeah I heard you the first time. Have your shower then. Don’t let me stop you. (He stares at her.). Mara: Oh I see. So it’s okay for you to have seen my entire body in all its horror but you won’t get undressed with me in the room coz you’re what? Shy? Seriously I ain’t even looking at you. I’m drying my hair. (She switches the dryer back on and turns away from him. He stands there for a moment then he smirks slightly. He then removes his shoes and socks, then his jeans and waistcoat. He then removes his shirt and his boxers. He stands there naked staring at Mara but she isn’t looking at him. He turns and opens the shower door and turns on the water. He closes the door and looks at Mara through the glass. She still hasn’t looked over at him. He shouldn’t even be doing this. If Joseph knew they were in the bathroom...Like this. It isn’t like they’ve done anything but he doubts his brother would see it that way. He sighs. He needs to stop these thoughts. He looks down at his erection before making the water colder. A cry leaves his lips as the ice cold water hits him. He stands there shivering willing himself to stop thinking about Mara’s breasts. The problem is now that he has seen them...Now that he has seen all of her...It is now twice as hard to resist her. He can still hear the hairdryer. He looks through the glass at Mara. She isn’t looking in his direction. She’s too busy drying her hair. He sighs and picks up his shower gel before making the water warmer. He then showers and washes his hair before switching off the water and stepping out of the shower. He grabs a towel and wraps it around his waist. Mara is still drying her hair. He supposes it’s so long it must take ages for it to dry. Her hair almost reaches her backside. He leans against the counter. She turns and looks at him before laughing and turning away. He frowns.). John: What’s funny? (She switches off the hairdryer and still laughing turns to him.). John: What? Mara: Your hair. (She laughs again.). John: What about it? Mara: You look kinda cute with your hair all stuck to your head like that. (He grins like the Cheshire cat.). John: You think I’m cute? I believe you have called me that before. Mara: Have I? I don’t remember. John: I am pretty sure you have. Mara: Whatever. Let me guess you are now going to tell me that you need the hairdryer. John: Yes actually I do. Mara: Help me dry my damn hair then. It’s so fucking long it’s unreal. (He chuckles.). John: You could always cut it. Mara: Cut it? No. I always regret it when I cut it. Besides how could you cut my hair? Look at it it’s so long and lovely. John: Hm. (She hands him the hairdryer and he takes it from her. She then turns around.). Mara: I think it’s only really the ends that still need drying. (He stands there for a moment. She wants him to finish drying her hair? He has his own hair to dry. But then he realises that he has the perfect excuse to run his hands through it. He smiles to himself before switching on the dryer and taking some of her hair in his hand as he dries it. Once he is done he switches the dryer off and puts it down. He then runs his fingers through her soft silky hair.). John: There. All done my dear. Mara: Thanks. (She turns to him and smiles. He leans against the counter.). John: So...What do you think? Mara: About what? John: About me. Mara: What do you mean? John: Well now that you have seen me naked what do you think? Mara: You what? I haven’t seen you naked you idiot. John: Alright. Fine. Mara: Are you worried about how you look or something is that it? I don’t think anyone is happy with how they look. I know I ain’t. I hate my body. It disgusts me. John: What? Why? There is nothing wrong with you. I have told you that you are beautiful. Mara: Only you seem to think so. John: I’m sure that’s not true. Mara: There’s nothing wrong with how you look either. So if you’re worried don’t be. Anyway haven’t you had like a hundred women? Surely that must tell you something. John: A hundred women? Who told you that? Mara: Everyone talks about you like you’re some womanizer always fucking everything that moves so... John: I see. So you are listening to rumours. Mara: It’s not a rumour if it’s true though is it? John: I suppose not. But it wasn’t a hundred! Mara: Okay. John: Actually it was probably more than that. (She sighs and shakes her head.). Mara: You are terrible. (He chuckles.). John: I was. I’m different now. Joseph has saved me. He has helped me see. Mara: So you are no longer taking drugs? John: No. Mara: Drinking? John: No. Mara: Fucking everything that moves? John: No. Mara: Holly begs to differ. John: I admit that yes I have...Slipped a little but... Mara: Hey it’s okay. It really doesn’t bother me. You do what you want. I do. (She shrugs. He raises his eyebrows at her.). Mara: What? You gonna get dressed or what? John: I don’t have to. (She stares at him then sighs and shakes her head.). Mara: You know...For someone who goes on about sin- John: No you’re right. I shouldn’t have said that. Mara: Look...I’m sure that one day you’re going to meet a woman and she’s going to love you and you’re going to love her. (She smiles at him.). Mara: Sometimes you just have to be patient. John: You think so? Mara: Yes. Bonnie always used to tell me that one day I would meet the right person and it would be right and good. I don’t know if I believe it though. Doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards for me. John: Hm. Mara: You should get dressed John. I’ll go and make you hot chocolate. (She leaves the bathroom. He sighs and dries himself off and dries his hair with the hairdryer. He then goes into his bedroom and opens a drawer. He takes out a pair of dark blue silk pyjama bottoms. He slips them on not bothering about underwear before going downstairs to the kitchen. It’s empty. He goes to the lounge and sees Mara lying on the sofa with her eyes closed. He walks over and nudges her.). Mara: Um? John: Tired? Mara: Yeah. (He sees the mug of hot chocolate on the table and picks it up sipping it. She moves so that he can sit down. She leans against him. He chuckles.). John: You are very confusing. Mara: How am I confusing? John: You try to tell me that you have no interest in me and yet...You keep getting close to me and wanting to stay over. (He smirks.). Mara: I don’t fancy you. I just...I like being with you coz you’re my friend. It’s been years since I’ve had a friend. My sister calls you her brother so I guess I kind of see you as a brother now too. John: Hm. Yes. We are all brothers and sisters here. Mara: Can I tell you something? John: You can tell me anything. Do you have a confession to make? Mara: I guess. (He looks down at her. She slides her arm through his and takes hold of his hand. He puts his hot chocolate down before putting his arm around her so that her head rests on his chest.). John: Tell me. (Her eyes fill with tears.). Mara: When you found me in the bath... John: Yes? Mara: I didn’t fall asleep in the bath. (He frowns.). John: What do you mean? (He thinks he already knows though.). Mara: I didn’t fall asleep in the bath John. (There is silence for a moment.). Mara: It wasn’t an accident. John: You tried to drown yourself? Why would you do that? Why would you throw away this gift we have given you? Mara: What gift? John: The gift of a new life. You have been saved. You have been given the Fathers blessing. You have been welcomed with open arms into our family. Why would you turn your back on that? Mara: I didn’t do it because of you silly. John: Why did you do it? Mara: Because I am unhappy. I am lost. I feel like I’m drowning all the time actually. John: Why? You are throwing away a great gift. You are turning your back on the Father and his teachings. You are turning your back on your sister. Does all this mean so little to you? Mara: No. I’m just a coward. But... (She looks up at him and their noses are almost touching she is so close to him. His breath catches in his throat. He can see her eyelashes and the tears rolling down her cheeks.). Mara: Clearly you were meant to save me from myself...Again. I never really thanked you did I? (He gazes at her. He can smell alcohol on her breath. Then she kisses him softly on the lips. He closes his eyes and kisses her back. Then she pulls away from him and stares at him.). Mara: I’m gonna go to bed. Don’t stay up too late. (She stands up.). Mara: Thank you...For saving me. Again. Night John. (She leaves the room. He sits there staring into the fire sipping his hot chocolate. She says she doesn’t fancy him yet she kisses him. She is very confusing. He finishes his hot chocolate and takes his mug to the kitchen. He then makes himself a coffee and returns to the lounge. He picks up a book and sits back down. He sits reading for a good few hours before his eyes become too heavy to continue. He puts the book down and takes the empty mug to the kitchen putting it in the sink. He then returns to the lounge and puts out the fire before going upstairs. He walks down the hall. Several of his spare bedrooms have their doors wide open except for one. He stops at the door staring at it. He then slowly opens it. Mara is lying in the double bed asleep. Her clothes are on the floor next to bed along with her shoes. He stands in the doorway staring at her before he closes it again and goes down the hall to his bedroom. He really needs to stop this. He goes into his bathroom and yanks his pyjama bottoms down before wrapping his hand tightly around his hard cock. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back as he starts pumping furiously.).

#Far Cry 5 #Home #Jacob Seed #Jacob Seed x Mara Jessop #Mara Jessop #Faiths sister #Faith Seed #John Seed #Joseph Seed #original character #Writing #My Writing