#but it's also something I'd really not think about because nothing is worse than feeling trapped with nowhere to go please don't rub that in

[klausysworld]

Hi could you write some angst about a deeply insecure reader who hates her appearance and is sort of friends with Elena and everyone(pushed to the side kind of relationship)but when klaus comes around it’s clear that she has a crush but believes he’s out of her league then klaus uses it to his advantage by showing an interest in her for information and helps her with her self worth.klaus then starts to develop feelings for her but then it’s revealed that he was just manipulating her and reader is devastated and utterly humiliated and it sets her back to how she was before him.(sorry if that was a really long explanation,you can decide the ending)thanks I love your writing btw

Real

Growing up in Mystic Falls is a bizarre experience.

There were town events almost every month where you had to dress up and act better than everyone, parents basically had a competition over who had the prettiest daughters or the most handsome sons.

Not my parents.

They didn't think I was good enough to even pretend that I could compete. I was told my worth from a young age and became more aware of it with time. When your own parents don't think you're good enough it's sort of an eye-opener if you will.

It didn't help that everyone in this town seemed to be born into modelling.

Somehow I was lucky enough to wind up 'friends' with people like Elena, Caroline and Bonnie but I knew I didn't belong with them. Somehow they were gorgeous enough to get whatever they wanted.

Sometimes I wondered if everyone else at the age of 17 looked like them and I was behind or if somewhere, I was above average. I doubted it. A lot.

Occasionally I would look at a mirror and think that I wasn't even that bad to look at. There was nothing particularly ugly about me, there just wasn't anything special. I looked plain in a way, bland and forgettable.

I was very forgettable actually. My 'friends' made that abundantly clear throughout the years when they would go out without me or forget to ask if I also wanted something or liked something.

Somehow I was of no value to them. Perhaps I was simply there to amplify their beauty. Like a DUFF. I was definitely the DUFF.

Damon actually told me that I was once, after Tyler had made the joke and Damon asked what it meant. Even though I already knew it to be true, to be told it was much worse.

You could sort of tell everyone else was thinking it, especially when I was stood beside Caroline.

Stefan was the only one who was nice but I wasn't sure if it was out of pity or just because that was who he was. Then again, I'd rather just not know.

So I tried my best to keep in the background, avoid attention and stay out the way.

Even with all the vampire and werewolf drama that took course, I kept myself quiet and to the side. Strangely it was Katherine who was kind to me, whether she had an ulterior motif I'm not so sure anymore but she never hurt me in the time she was there. Neither did Elijah when he came to town, he was polite to everyone but it was obvious that my presence was irrelevant to him.

And then of course, Klaus arrived.

I didn't officially meet him until the senior prank night, he sort of just threw to the side and told me to keep my mouth closed and not to bother running because he'd just kill me. Part of me thought about running anyway so he would just end it but I didn't.

Klaus dragged me by my wrist into his car, told me to keep quiet while he drove Elena to the hospital. For whatever reason he brought me along and left me in the car as he went to drain her of blood for his hybrids. I did as told: sat silently and waited.

He came back out and spoke to Damon for a moment, I saw them glance over in my direction only for Damon to laugh and smirk. I sighed to myself and got out the car. It was clear that Klaus thought I could be a good pawn but was surly mistaken and Damon told him to do whatever he wanted to me. In response I walked home, neither noticed so it was fine.

A week or so later he came back, crashed homecoming or something? I dunno, I wasn't there but I was told about it the next day via a stroppy Caroline.

It was that same day that he came and sat beside me at the grill. I ignored him for the most part, confused by his attempt at what I could only guess was flirting? I wasn't really sure. I think he could tell.

"Not easily impressed are you love?" he questioned as he leant forward, uncomfortably close. I sort of just looked at him, still unsure to what he wanted. A smirk pulled at the end of his lips and his hand lifted, his fingers wrapping around a piece of my hair making frown and pull away abruptly. Without hesitation I stood up and spun on my heel, going to leave. His laugh followed me and a hand grabbed my waits, it was stange.

"Calm down love, It's not like I was going to rip it out, I just wondered what it felt like" he chuckled, pulling my back flush against his front making me tense and squirm.

"It feels like hair" I stated simply "Now get off" I grunted, shoving my elbow into his side to make him let go. I kept walking, keeping my eyes on the ground.

The next time I saw him he apologised for the previous encounter which again, i didn't understand but there was no point in questioning and arguing so I just accepted it and tried to leave but he asked if I'd stay for one drink, he asked so nicely and he smiled. I was stupid enough to think it was genuine and accepted.

Looking back it was pretty obvious that this was a game for him or a trap, whatever you want to label it but in the moment I ignored what was right in my face. Deep down I knew it was all a joke of sorts really.

But no boy, let alone a man had shown me this sort of attention and the soft fluttering it made me feel had me staying for far too long. I listened to his little stories and asked a range of questions as the drinks kept coming. He asked a couple about me but i gave relatively vague answers. There wasn't much I had to give him on me, I wasn't up for a pity party about friends and I didn't really fancy talking about my shitty parents either. I think Klaus picked up on the fact that I didn't really want to talk about me and eventually gave up with it.

It was late when I realised I needed to get home and he offered to take me which I admit made me wary. I didn't want him to kidnap me and think I'd be any good as leverage again, though I guess Damon made that pretty clear already. I decided to just walk home which he eventually accepted and got into his car.

Walking by myself probably wasn't my best option after drinking so much in one go but I made it home with minimal stumbling. My mother shook her head when she saw me and asked what was wrong with me. When she realised I had been drinking her mind jumped to two very different conclusions. The first being that I was being a slut which was ironic as in the past she'd made it clear that no guy would want to sleep with me, and the second being that I had taken pills to kill myself.

Listening to her drastic thinking made me wonder what kind of pills she was on but I didn't question it and waited for my father to come and take her to bed, telling her to just ignore me. Then I proceeded to make my way to the bathroom, getting changed and washing my face before going to my bed.

My phone dinged making me sigh, thinking it was Elena asking me to help her with something dumb and life threatening however much to my surprise it was Klaus. A smile involuntarily spread across my face and we messaged back and forth before he told me to rest.

The following few days he would just check in. Not too much but he also made it clear that he hadn't forgotten me which was all I had ever truly wanted from someone. To be acknowledged at the very least.

Of course I didn't tell the others that he had been talking to me, besides they didn't ask so I didn't see why I should. I guess I just wanted something for myself.

I wasn't completely stupid. I always had the feeling that he was using me, especially towards the start...but he was just so wonderful with his words and his ways.

When he began to make and buy sweet gifts and claim they were tokens of his affection, I couldn't help the blush on my face. When he would find a way to have his skin against mine, or how he would pick up my hand and gently tug my along. Somehow we always seemed to end up somewhere for food, and he would always refuse to let me pay.

Something about him was so enticing, addictive if you will.

He began to make me feel a certain way. He made me warm and happy. His touch was so soft, it made me feel like I was buzzing. i was stupid for thinking he could feel the same way about me.

I had been so scared to admit my feelings.

He had assured me that he would never push me to.

He told me that he liked me, that he didn't want me to be frightened of him or nervous around him. "Not unless it's the sort of nervous that puts butterflies in your stomach sweetheart" he had teased and my cheeks had glowed red.

Over the space of months his presence never lessoned. He always made time to see me, and speak with me. I found myself longing for his voice, his touch.

On days where he was too busy at home, he would urge me to come over. I would spend as long as I possibly could with him, a few times I even stayed over but he had slept on top of the duvet so that I would feel comfortable.

This had gone on for a small while until he actually said the words 'I love you'.

Perhaps I was just so happy to actually hear those words. Maybe I believed them to be true, real. Or I just saw what I wanted to see, heard what I wanted to hear and ignored the rest.

The time I gave myself to him used to make my smile and blush. Now it just makes me feel dirty, humiliated and embarrassed.

Knowing that he could and has had his hands all over my body, his lips and eyes. In the moment I felt like a goddess, probably because that’s what he told me I was. The memory of him inside me haunts me. I had thought it to be such a beautiful experience, romantic and personal.

I wish I could say that I had slept with him only once but as the months went by we would share intimacy often.

I had even told him that I loved him, so many times and I meant it for all of them.

So you should understand why it was so hard to accidentally hear him tell his sister that he had been compelling me for any information on the others.

It had felt as though my heart had stopped when the words hit my ears and tears already made my eyes burn. I heard a weak laugh and turned my head to see Damon, strung up by chains whilst bleeding all over, looking straight back at me.

“Y/n…” I heard Klaus’s voice, his tone one of panic or maybe it was just surprise. He probably didn’t want me to know of his routine. Damon only rolled his eyes and gave me look,

“You didn’t…think it was real, right?” He coughed, a cruel smile on his face.

His words just made me quieter. They made me think. Why did I think it was real?

My eyes slowly lifted to meet Klaus’s. I could see and feel Rebekah looking at me, everyone was silent. Even Damon shut up for a second. I think maybe he was expecting me to say something but I didn’t really have anything to tell him.

As awful as it all made me feel, and even with the amount of emotions swallowing me, I felt more disappointed in myself than I did him.

My right hand went to my left arm, pinching my skin through my jumper in some sort of hope that I’d wake up from some stupid nightmare but it didn’t work.

The first tear fell from my eye and I sniffed to keep the other ones from coming.

Klaus just looked at me, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, I didn’t want to know either. I could just guess anyway.

So without a word I just turned around and left, walking quickly back out the door before breaking into a sprint in the direction of my house. I could feel the mascara running down my face, ruining the foundation I had only recently started wearing, for Klaus’s benefit.

My hands wiped at the tears as I pushed my from door shut behind me and went upstairs, blocking out the annoyed voices of my parents and locking myself in my room.

It was only once I was in the shower that I was flooded with memories. That I remembered all the things I had done with him. By the time I stepped out of the bathroom my skin was scrubbed raw in an attempt to wash his touch away. Even the slightest touch made me feel as though my body was burning, stinging with pain but I would have rather felt that every day than have to realise Klaus had been using me for over a year now.

I was curled in my bed, hidden under the blankets and surrounded by the dark as I let every comment not matter how small or petty play back through my mind.

I wasn’t even sure who to be upset with. I chose myself.

Klaus must’ve known I was an easy target. Desperate. I wonder how much he’s had me tell him. To be fair I knew more than you’d expect about what was going on. I had gotten good at observing and overhearing so I still knew what was going on, even when spending so much time with Klaus himself.

I also wondered what else he had compelled me to do. I hoped he wouldn’t do anything other than ask questions but I couldn’t help that fear creep inside me. It made me sick to my stomach, and then I wondered if he would just wait to compel me again so that I could continue to be his information feeder.

The idea made my fingers dig into my arm, bruising the skin purple but I wouldn’t stop. I only did so that I could go get some vervain that I kept downstairs in one of the cupboards at the back. I was reaching for the little glass bottle when I heard a door close. I spun around quickly to see Klaus in the doorway of my kitchen. My hand clutched onto the vervain tightly and I noticed his eyes glance at it briefly. His hands went up as if to show no harm but there was no way I would believe that meant a thing.

“Sweetheart- listen to me..” he began and I let out a breathless laugh

“Get out” I whispered making him sigh and frown as though he had the audacity to be upset or annoyed.

“Y/n..”

“No Klaus. I’m fucking serious, get out.” I told him, my eyes watering again. I let out an involuntary whimper when he stepped forward making him stop and stand still.

“I never meant for you to know that” he whispered and I frowned, swiping a tear away.

“Sorry I ruined your plan” I mumble, exhausted.

“No- no I didn’t mean it like that- I meant that-“

“Klaus it’s fine” I murmur, avoiding his eye, “It’s fine, I get it. You needed to know what was happening, you got to be two steps ahead. I’d appreciate if you just found someone else now please”

I could feel his stare on me, it make my skin itch and I just needed him to go. I could feel my hand getting clammy as I held onto the bottle.

“I haven’t compelled you in such a long time” he muttered, as though maybe that made it better. “I used to, but I truly have fallen for you Y/n. I love-“

“Please get out” I cut him off, my spare hand resting on my forehead to cover my eyes.

“I love you”

“No you don’t” I cry, “you wouldn’t do this to someone you love. I know you don’t love me. You never have and you never could. You’re just pretending again so I’ll let you control me, I don’t like it” I whimper, tears streaming again. I could hear him getting closer but I was already against the counter and I couldn’t out run him. There was no point in trying.

“Sweetheart, I’ll never use you again-“ he tried to argue but I couldn’t listen to it.

“I really, really need you to leave. Please Klaus just get out, I can’t stand you” I tell him honestly and for a second as I look up at him, he looks almost sad but I have to assume it’s still apart of his act.

“You- you’re not going to do anything…anything harmful are you? To yourself, I mean.” He asked and I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me. I should never have told him that I’d had those thoughts or feelings once. I shouldn’t have ever said a word to him.

“No…now go away” I whisper, my hands trembling as I stared at the ground, listening to his footsteps eventually get further away.

I knew there was no way I could sleep, he was probably still outside my house. Waiting.

I wasn’t sure what he was waiting for but I could him there.

I had no idea what I was going to do.

#angst no happy ending #tvdu angst #klaus mikaelson angst #angst no comfort #klaus mikaelson #the originals #the vampire diaries #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikealson fanfiction #klaus mikaelson one shot #klaus mikaleson imagine #elijah mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #the vampire diares imagine #kol mikaelson #niklaus imagines #niklaus mikaelson #tvd klaus #klaus m #klaus mikaelson x y/n #klaus michaelson #tvd universe #hope mikaelson #klaus mikaelson headcanon #klaus mikaelson fluff #klaus mikaelson yandere #klaus mikealson smut #klaus mikaelson x yn #klaus mikealson x reader #tvd fanfiction

[duchess-kyuupid]

So I had an idea, what if reader was the magicless student and didn't feel like going home because they knew they were dead in their old world?

So one day a friend asks, "What do you think you'd do if you got back home?"

And reader just replies nonchalantly with a straight face with, "Probably lie in a coffin six feet under."

The friend thinks they are joking but little do they know...

Could it be with Ace and whoever else you'd think best fit the scenario? Thanks! <3

Hello anon! Sorry this literally took forever (-ω-、) At first I had a hard time trying to figure out how to put it all together and who to do lmao I think I ended up doing pretty good, if I do say so myself (maybe a little bit overboard as it went on, though? Like the request looks like it's supposed to at least be a little bit funny but my brain says 'haha sad reader go brrr') Either way, I hope that you enjoy, darling <333

~ "I'm probably never going back." With Ace, Kalim, and Grim ~

[Angst to fluff, Platonic Grim, Gn! reader]

Ace

"So," Ace started, munching on his sandwich, "What d'ya go to the Headmaster for this time? You get stuck with another random job again?" he asks with a sinister innocent smile on his face as he eyes your own lunch.

"Actually, we were discussing the prospects of me going home," you stated nonchalantly, casually sliding your plate of food closer to yourself, knowing full well that Ace really only started this conversation to get you distracted so that he could get at your cherry pie (which the chefs had made specifically for you, as a thanks for helping keep the fireplaces warm over winter break).

Now, while you had certainly noticed that Ace was after your food (you were used to it already, after dealing with Grim after all of this time), you had failed to notice the way that Ace's smile fell off of his face for the faintest moment after he heard the words 'home' leaving your mouth, but he was quick to regain his notorious smile before you could see his disappointment. And in an act to tease you a bit (and to rid himself of the unknown feelings bubbling in the pit of his stomach), he brazenly chuckles and states without thinking,

"Ha, I bet that old man probably told you to give it up. Like, what would you even do if you got back home?" Without a second beat you tell him with a straight face,

"I'd probably just be six-feet under."

"Right?" Ace agrees with a hearty chuckle. And he sees that you still for a second, lowering your head and taking a deep breath for a moment. In that quick moment of you losing concentration, Ace swipes the last remaining bite of your cherry pie with a cheeky smirk.

"So that's why I'm probably never going back," you clear your throat and look at Ace with a sad smile, tears brimming your eyes. And suddenly, Ace feels really, really guilty. He was just trying to lighten the mood by joking with you...about going home...

Ugh, how could he have messed this up, worse? It's impossible, I tell you! Ace knows that you've just been suddenly thrust into a world that you know nothing about, forced to attend a school where you barely even meet the minimum for the curriculum, and, to make matters even better for you, you're basically forced into doing whatever that Headmaster of the school tells you to, simply because he was just kind enough to let you stay at the school since you hadn't even a penny to your name nor your nonexistent family in this world.

Not only that, but you're also the prefect of this new dorm without any magic at all, and you're supposed to keep an eye on this random cat that nearly ruined the Orientation ceremony. And! You've also got to handle both him and Deuce, also known as the chaos duo to everyone who knows them. And he just stole the last piece of your cherry pie, which was honestly something that you more than deserve after all the shit that you've gone through. We all know that you weren't crying because of him stealing your pie, but this fact really was just the cherry on top of his sundae of regret.

So yeah, just label him as Dumbass #1 in your book, if he isn't already.

And he's not sure why he was surprised to see those tears in your eyes, but he was, and he's ashamed at the fact that he's never noticed how you've felt before. So in a frantic motion to fix things, Ace stands up quickly, saying a quick excuse to you about accidentally leaving something in his last class or something, and excusing himself from the lunch table before you could even react.

~~

You honestly didn't know where he went after he left you at lunch, because he wasn't in any of his classes for the remainder of the day. It was only after classes, as you were walking back to Ramshackle with Grim, that you saw him next. He was standing in front of your front door with a nervous look on his face, but he was dressed quite nicely. Not quite formal attire, but it looked like he was expecting to go somewhere, at the very least. Once he saw you approaching, his face brightened for a moment, with a slight blush cropping up on his cheeks as you ask him what he's been doing all day.

"Well," he starts with a chuckle and his infamous smile, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I got permission from the Headmaster for us to leave campus for a while, so why don't we go check out some stores at the village nearby? I thought that maybe I'd show you around, since you'd probably beg me to keep you from getting lost anyway... Oh, and don't worry about paying for anything, I have it allll covered." He says that last part with extra emphasis and a more confident smile than before, hoping that that would be the ticket to getting you to agree. Little did he know, you were going to agree even if he wasn't going to buy you anything. And little did you know that one of the biggest reasons why he's decided to do all of this can be explained through one simple sentence: 'I want you to start liking this world more than your own.'

In truth, he'd struck a deal with Azul again in exchange for enough cash to buy whatever you wanted from any store (he's got a lot of work cut out for him in the upcoming future), but shh, you didn't need to know that. It would be all worth it if it means that you can get a chance at starting a normal life here...

And perhaps, maybe one day you might want to start living your new life with him by your side.

Kalim

Oh, Kalim. This epitome of sunshine was sharing everything about his family, his childhood, and his homeland to you with so much enthusiasm that you felt yourself feeling the twang of homesickness starting to erupt in your heart. But of course, this always happens with Kalim, doesn't it? First, he hurt the one who he's always adored as a brother- Jamil, and now, he's hurting you too, all without realizing it. You could never blame him for it, though. His genuine happiness and warmth was something that you looked forward to every day, and most of the time just being around him felt like you were basking in the sun on a cold day.

But, sometimes the warmth that he radiates so fervently starts to feel like too much, as if you were being scorched alive under the unbearable heat of the sun.

"So," Kalim says, taking a moment to catch his breath, "I think that's all of my brothers and sisters, plus all of my extended family too! We're a big family, so I know it's a lot, haha! Say, what's your family like?" he innocently asks with bright, expectant eyes.

And you know that he doesn't mean to do this to you, but you can't deny that right now you felt like his beautiful red eyes were burning themselves into your soul like a branding iron. You don't want to make it sound like you blame him for your predicament or his enthusiasm about his family, so you give him the best smile you can muster and divert the subject to the best of your ability.

"Well, they're really not as important as yours is. Can you tell me more about how the Asim family started out? Your family must have a lot of really interesting history."

"Oh, sure!" Kalim nods happily to your request, forgetting his own question shortly after as he continues in his own rant about his gigantic family and some of the more interesting parts of its history.

At this point, Jamil really couldn't bear to listen to this anymore. He's been quietly watching and listening in on your conversation with Kalim from his seat in the corner of the room, where he was supposed to be 'studying'. Jamil sees that Kalim's doing the same thing to you as what happened to him, and decides to step into your conversation. 'Might as well go ahead and rip the band-aid off before it gets to the point of no return,' Jamil thinks.

"Hey," he begins, cutting Kalim off mid-sentence, "Do you have any sort of plans for when you get to go home? If you can go home?"

And Kalim looks at you with a surprised look on his face at Jamil's question for you because of course you'd want to stay here in Twisted Wonderland with him and everyone else! He'd never thought of the idea that you'd ever want to go back home to your original world, Kalim felt like it was just a given that you'd want to stay even if you had the choice to leave. But now that he thinks about it a little more, he doesn't understand where he even got that idea from to begin with. After all, as someone who cares for his family and his homeland a great deal, he can kindof understand how you might feel after being torn away from all of that without any way of returning.

"Haha, well," you chuckle heartlessly, "I'm probably never going back anyway. I think if I went back home now I'd just be six-feet under or something." Your attempt to lighten the mood with your 'joke' fails when you hear the sound of your own voice saying it. You would be lying to yourself if you tried to claim that, no, your voice wasn't shaky, and that yes, you were completely fine with never seeing your family ever again. Jamil makes a comment that he was going to grab something to drink from the kitchen, leaving you in a moment of silence with Kalim following your rather dark 'joke.'

"Well, what's the harm in trying anyway?" Kalim asks softly, "You never know unless you try! Plus, even if it doesn't work out, at least you can say that you've given it your all, right?"

"That's the FUCKING problem," you snap, "I've BEEN trying to go back home, and nothing's ever working! And there's no way in hell I'm just going to give up and go ~'Well at least I tried'~ when it's my goddamn LIFE on the line here!"

Oh no, you didn't mean to start yelling at Kalim like that... But after hearing his flippant "at least you've given you're all" comment, all of the pent-up emotions just felt like they were going to explode if they were kept inside any longer. You feel bad for suddenly yelling at him, but at the same time, it felt like the water gates have finally opened, and before you knew it, more kept spilling from your mouth.

"I had a normal life back in my world, you know! I had people who cared for me, I had plans for the future that I painstakingly paved the road for for my entire fucking life. Everything that I've done in my life up to this point, it's all become utterly useless now that I've come here," you wailed, tears escaping your eyes as you spoke without constraint, "Can you imagine how it feels to have everything stolen away from you, Kalim? All of the people that I've created my childhood memories with, they're all gone! My scholarships, my college applications, my work experience- nonexistent! Hell, if you want to get into the legalities of it, I technically have never gone to school in my life before attending NRC because I never existed in this world before then." You take a breath to help calm yourself down, but after still feeling the flames of rage bubbling in your lungs, you continue to vent out your feelings.

"Do you know how it feels, Kalim, to have no idea whether the people you love know if you're dead or alive? To have to think about how they would react to my 'death' when I'm still kicking and screaming inside another world?! To have to think about everything that you've been forced to leave behind all of a sudden?" You're basically screaming out your frustrations to the sky now, as you couldn't bear to stare at Kalim as you cried out your miseries, "To have to think about the life you could be leading right now if you weren't dragged to some random world with no knowledge about it's countries, it's history, or even it's most fundamental principles like magic?"

Kalim's staring at you intensely, taking every single word you speak into account. Even as you got to the point where you couldn't speak clearly anymore, when you pushed yourself to where all you could do was sob, snivel, and blubber out your words of woe, Kalim sat there listening to you the whole way through.

At some point during your crying, Kalim pulled you gently into his arms in a tight embrace as he let you continue to let your feelings out. He was going to wait until it was all out before he even tried to say anything (reason one being, because it would be rather rude to interrupt you, and two is because he's been rather notorious for crying when he sees other people cry and he didn't want to make the crying spotlight on him)

When you were finally done, Kalim patted your head soothingly and spoke quietly. His own voice was shaky too, and he was also on the verge of tears just from watching and listening to you.

"I never knew you felt like that, I'm sorry for not realizing it earlier," he says, and just the sound of him trying to keep in his tears breaks your heart to pieces.

Your pain is his pain, your tears are his tears, and your smile is his smile because, even if he doesn't realize it yet, he truly loves you dearly. Kalim knows he can be really, really dense most of the time, which is why he never noticed these pent-up frustrations of yours when they were so obvious to Jamil, but he hopes that you'll forgive him for making you feel even worse.

"It's not your fault, Kalim. I'm not angry at you or anything- I'm sorry for yelling like that," you inhale, "It's just-... It just hurts, you know? Thinking about all of the what-ifs and the could-be's... But the truth is, I've had more fun in the short time that I've been here than in my entire life back home. And most of that's because of you, actually."

"Really?" he asks, a spark of his normal cheer returning to his voice.

"Yes, really. I might not be able to use magic, but it's been something that I've loved learning about since coming here. You know, the very first time you took me on a ride with the magic carpet, and I got to see this whole new world from way high up in the sky, I knew that nothing from my home could beat that experience. I'm going to miss my home, but it's not so bad when I know that you're here."

Oh, look at you- you were the one who just had an emotional breakdown right in front of Kalim, and yet you're the one consoling him! Your sweet words struck through his heart like cupid's arrow, and he internally vows that he will always be someone who brings a smile to your face- that he will do everything that he can to make sure that you're happy.

"Then," he perks up, wiping his face from any stray tears that might have escaped from earlier, "Let's go on another carpet ride together, outside of campus!" He exclaims excitedly, all hints of previous sadness gone from his eyes and voice.

"There's so many places I want to show you, but I think we should look for spots that look like your home! This world is a pretty big place, so I'm sure there must be somewhere that looks similar to yours. Tell me everything about your homeland- If we can't find something like it, then we'll just have to make it ourselves!"

Grim

It was in the midst of winter break that you started to feel more lonely. All of your other friends were gone and spending the holidays with their families, while you were still here at the school with your only company being Grim and the Ramshackle ghosts, who would come and go as they pleased. Everything was just so,, quiet, without the chaos duo Deuce and Ace around. Of course, Grim was almost always up to his own little shenanigans too, but most of the time they were harmless and it was just him entertaining himself with catching mice and such.

The silence of the winter break and the bleakness of the white snow was staring to take a toll on you, and it wasn't helping the fact that you're still experiencing nightmares beyond what you see in the mirror at night (this is not a jab at you, I swear).

For reference, you just had a dream that woke you up in the middle of the night, sweating and gasping for air as you tried to recollect yourself. Of course, you couldn't fall back asleep after what you've just seen, and Grim was still sound asleep in his corner of the bed. Quietly, you move to get up to go get some fresh air outside- not forgetting to bring your jacket with you to the freezing cold weather out there.

And you spent a bit of time in the silence of the night, sitting on the stairs of the front porch of the Ramshackle dorm with a heavy jacket tied to your shoulders, just staring up into the sky. This isn't the first time that this has happened, so you know that looking at the stars would usually help you out in times like these.

'I can see the stars so clearly from here. Back home, the stars would be so dim that most nights you could hardly see them because of all of the lights around.'

'Huh, I wonder what kind of constellations this world has thought up of. That kinda looks almost like a horse, if you look at it sideways.'

'I wonder what kind of galaxy this world is in. The Milky Way was nice and all, but something different could be nice, too.'

Those would be the kind of thoughts that would help calm you down after your nightmares and you'd start feeling sleepy again. You'd go back inside, maybe drink a little bit of water, and then delve underneath the covers of your bed and go to back to sleep.

But this time, though, you could hardly focus on anything else except for the contents of your dream. No matter how intently you stared into the night sky, there was nothing else that you could think of other than, 'It was just so realistic.'

"Hey, hench-human! There you are! 'Was wonderin' where ya went so late at night. Come back in already, you let the fireplace in the room die out and now the whole room's gone cold again," you hear Grim calling out to you from the now open door of the Ramshackle dorm.

"Sorry Grim, I'll be back inside in just a bit, just gimmie a minute, alright?"

"What? You're just gonna sit outside in this cold?" Grim exclaims, "What are ya even doing out here anyway?" And you hear Grim's paws tapping on the old wooden flooring as he scampers his way to you.

"Couldn't sleep, so I went out for some fresh air, that's all."

"Oh yeah? Had another dream about the Great Seven? Or was it that Mickey dude in the mirror again?" He pushes your arms away from your legs and jumps into your lap without another thought. If he was going to wait for you to get up and relight the fireplace, he was at least going to wait somewhere that's nice and warm- your lap.

"Actually," you clear your throat, "not this time, no."

"Then what's up?" And he just said it so casually, like either he knew that something was bothering you and he wanted to make the conversation comfortable enough to talk about it- that or he's just completely unable to read a room (which was honestly the more likely option). Either way, it made you pause for a moment, to think about whether you wanted to answer his question honestly or make up some sort of lie about it.

"I'm thinking about whether I should just go ahead and tell Crowley to give up on looking for my way back home," you admit, deciding on telling him half-truths for now. But your comment caught him off guard, and he looks back at you with surprise. "Huh, why would ya do that?" he asks.

"Well, I mean I'd probably just be lying six feet under if I do manage to go back, so what's the point in having Crowley waste his time on this? Besides, he's been using it as an excuse to make me us do all of his dirty work for him, and I don't want to be indebted to him anymore than I already am."

"Well, I guess that does make sense, but still, haven't you been wantin' to go home this whole time? What's with you givin' up now?" he grumbles.

"Awe, I had no idea that you hated me this much," you joke, "To think, that even my closest friend even wants me gone from this world! Oh, woe is me!"

"Hey, you know it ain't like that, henchman!" Grim pushes you playfully, "I'll have you know that, unlike SOME people, I care about my minions. If ya wanna go home, then you should keep tryin' to find a way back, especially if there's someone else doin' all the work for you."

"That's sweet of you to say, but I'm probably never going back."

"What makes you so sure?" And you don't say anything to his question, not for a while. Grim notices your silence and concludes his statement, "Well, if that's what you want, then alright. It just means that you'll be here to see me become the greatest mage in the world!"

"Mhm," you nod sluggishly, and the conversation goes quiet from there. Now, the heavy silence of the winter night fell upon the both of you, the only sounds being the creaking of the old wooden planks of the Ramshackle dorm, the frostbitten wind blowing through the air, and the soft shuffling of you petting through Grim's fur as he sits idly in your lap. The silence didn't bother either of you much, as Grim was nearly falling back to sleep with the soft movements of your hands brushing him and the warmth from your lap keeping the cold at bay. But as time continued to pass, your anxious thoughts started clouding the deep recesses of your mind once again and you felt compelled to speak upon them.

"Grim, I know that you're a monster and everything, but do you know anything about reading a human's pulse?" you speak suddenly, and he flinches awake at your question, rubbing his eyes tiredly as you continue without letting him answer, "You can find your heart rate just by pressing on your wrist, or placing these fingers against your neck, like this." And you demonstrated both actions to him.

"Grim,, I," your voice chokes up, "I can't feel my pulse... Earlier I had another nightmare, and I saw myself dying. In my world... It was so realistic, I..." Tears start erupting from your eyes as you recall the vivid memory, and Grim stares at you with wide eyes as you continue, "When I woke up, I felt like I could still feel the pain. It was so excruciating, I felt like I was going to throw up, so I came out here."

Your body was shivering uncontrollably with how you were trying to keep your tears in as you spoke, and you pull Grim closer to you in a hug close to your chest, "Grim, please tell me. Do you hear anything? Anything at all? Even if you lie to me, please just tell me that you can hear my heartbeat."

Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

"I can hear it," Grim states seriously (I mean, after seeing the state you're in, it would be more than a little rude if he wasn't serious), "And I'm not lyin' to ya. It's super cold out here, which is probably why ya can't feel it, but you do have a heartbeat. I promise you, you're alive, right here, with me." He wasn't expecting this, but he tries his best to comfort you, though really he has no idea about what to do or what to say. But as awkward as his words come out as, it still works to help you calm down after a while. He waits until your breathing starts to slow down and your tears have stopped spilling.

"Henchman, I'm startin' to feel hungry for a midnight snack," he states, "I know you're hungry too, so let's go sneak into the cafeteria and see what they've got!" And he leaps off of your lap and looks at you with his bright blue eyes, "We can warm up by its fireplace while we're there too."

As he starts dragging you towards the school, he turns to look at you and he says, "The way I see it, the way you still get hungry or thirsty is how we know that you're still alive. You wouldn't need to eat or sleep if you were dead, like the ghosts, now would'ya? You really need to stop overthinking things like this, givin' me a heart attack when you start cryin' outta nowhere like that..."

~~~~~~

I accidentally wrote a whole mini-story for them, no wonder this request took so long </33 I really hope that you enjoyed reading this, anon! While I did have trouble at the beginning, things started falling into place as I kept writing 👏👏

#twst #twst x reader #duchess kyuupid #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twisted wonderland x reader #twst headcanons #disney twst #x reader #Grim twst #Platonic! Grim #Ace x reader #Kalim x reader #ace trappola #ace trapolla x reader #Kalim Al-Asim #Kalim Al-Asim x reader #Kalim Al Asim x reader #Platonic Grim x reader #Kyuupid's asks

[ecoamerica]

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[angelanderson]

I really want an Ellabs x reader fic of fem reader really needing comfort bc she's sad/overwhelmed but she tries to hide it from ellabs but obv they notice smth is off, so they tell her they noticed smth is wrong and she kinda breaks down at that, then they comfort her thru it, listening to her problems or insecurities n'stuff <33 Sorry if it's confusing and/or too long, u dont gotta do it but i'd appreciate it tons <33 (Im totally not self projecting)

ur projecting = supported. 🫢 100% sfw/comfort fic but still no men or minors. type of relationship between them is up to u! this ended up a semi- full length fic oops ? enjoy!

sometimes it just feels too hard. being the newest member in jackson means you feel like you have to prove your worth 24/7. and it’s exhausting, really. abby is just so strong, ellie has the best patrol work, and you? you feel… weak. you (falsely) feel like nothing you’ve done has proven you’re worth the space in jackson.

so when monday rolls around, you tell ellie and abby you have plans with someone else so you can just go home and hide. they don’t question that, why would they? tuesday you tell them you wanna go to bed early. okay, fine. but then it’s wednesday, and they’re starting to get that something is going on with you.

the worry starts to kick in wednesday night after maria tells the two women you asked to go home early, citing that you’re not feeling well. abby all but drags ellie to your tiny place immediately after hearing maria’s words. you always tell each other everything. so why didn’t you now?!

it’s easy to know abby and ellie are knocking at your door simply because of the sheer force of it. five minutes you try to pretend you’re not home. you don’t want them to see you in this state; you’ve been ugly crying for two hours now. however, they don’t give up. it’s not like you could expect anything else from them.

“baby, we know you’re home. let us in, yeah? we’re worried about you,” abby shouts out after another two minutes of knocking.

you respond back with a sickly voice from the sofa, “no, go away. ‘m busy.”

you can just feel the attitude enter ellie’s body now. you know how stubborn she can be. “no, we know you’re lying. i will find a way in if you don’t let us in within the next thirty seconds.”

you know she isn’t joking as you move to open the door. the sight of you upon opening the door is not a pretty one— your face is red, covered in tears. ellie takes a deep breath before she pushes in. she won’t let you shut them out anymore. abby shuts the door before them before heading you back onto the sofa with them. each other is on either side of you within the matter of seconds.

as per usual, abby is the first one to break the silence. “oh, honey, what’s going on? we could’ve helped you sooner if we knew.” the way she sounds sad just makes you feel worse.

insecurities once again bubbling over, you do the only thing you can think of: you try to shove abby away. being significantly stronger than you means it didn’t feel like a single thing. however, abby won’t put up with you lashing out right now. she knows you can be their sweet girl even in the toughest of moments.

ellie watches like a hawk as abby grabs both of your wrists to stop you from trying to push her away again. “just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you can act out. are you going to be the big girl i know you are now? or do i need to keep you here?”

the concerned sternness of her voice makes you whimper in reply. fresh tears leak down your face as you try to find the words to explain. “i- i just don’t think i deserve to be here! everyone, especially you two, carry your weight around here! and what do i do? i’m just a stupid girl working in the bar!”

and, well, neither of them could say they were expecting that response. sure, you were newer to Jackson, but so was everyone at one point. you were also one of the most popular Jackson residents— everyone loves the energy you bring to the bar after a long day of work. so it just makes sense that both women are beyond shocked to realize that this is why you’re so down. how could you not know how loved you are here?

as yet another round of tears starts to fall, you feel abby’s big arms quickly pull you into her chest. your body starts to shake with each inhale as you start to sob into abby’s chest. while ellie rushes to rub your back, abby starts to tilt your head up so you can see her.

“angel, angel, no. let’s take some deep breathes and then we’ll all have a talk, okay?”, abby coos as she wipes away the falling tears.

ellie puts your right hand over abby’s heart when your breathing doesn’t start to slow any. she speaks in the softest voice she can muster up,“deep breaths with me and abby, baby. feel abby’s heart beat. we’re all going to just relax together before anything else.”

two minutes between your favorite people is all it takes to reduce you to just sniffles. you slouch back into your seat once you’ve finally caught your breath. you look up at abby and ellie with wet eyes before letting out a long sigh. no one is sure who should speak first.

ellie decides she’ll be the one to start, “it’s not true, you know? everyone here loves you. helping run the bar is important. you create a space where we can all relax for once. emphasis on the relax part.”

abby grunts in agreement with ellie. “you know ellie’s right, don’t you baby,” abby questions before looking over to ellie, “our favorite girl’s always making everyone feel happy, isn’t she?”

“for real though, you really do play a big part here. you know ellie and i started arguing less when you came around? pretty big deal there, you know. even joel commented on it,” the dirty blonde continues on the conversation.

and that makes you giggle for the first time all day. “even joel? really?” while you knew they had a previous history of more frequent fights, you didn’t know even joel was over it back then too.

“yeah, it’s really true,” abby starts before taking a breath to think about her next words. she exhales, “strength isn’t everything, you know? you add just as much as we do here. creating a space where people can relax while we live on this hell on earth is just as important as what we do. we all do the best here because we are better with each other. our system can’t function without others.”

you’re sure you’d be crying tears of happiness right now if you weren’t so exhausted from all your previous crying. your previous anxieties start to slip away as you start to truly internalize both of their words from today. you are important. you matter here. just like everyone else.

no one is given a chance to speak before you’re pulling ellie and yourself on top of abby. “i love you, i love you, i love you both,” you whisper out. “you’re right. i promise i’ll come talk to you next time i’m feeling down, okay? know you’ll make me say that part next!”

“okay smarty pants, you better. also, we always are, darling. love you the most,” teases ellie before she presses a kiss to the back of your head.

“hey! what if i love you both the most? then what?” you’re sure you can feel ellie roll her eyes as abby whines out playfully.

“okay, okay. how about we all love each other the most? can we just agree so i can drink some water now? my head is killing me.” a major post-crying headache has just started to come on for you.

ellie rolls her eyes playful at both of you. “i’ll get us all some water”, she commands as she walks to your kitchen, “and get comfy with abby. we’ll watch a movie, and yes, you can choose today.”

yay! end note to say ur important and i’m glad ur here + love that we all each add our own special things to this earth 🫂

#ellabs x reader #ellabs #ellie willams x reader #abby anderson x reader #ellie x reader x abby #ellie williams drabble #abby anderson drabble #abby drabbles #ellie drabbles #tlou fluff #abby anderson fluff #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams fic #abby anderson fic #abby anderson x you #ellie williams x you

[helloalycia]

𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑

summary: when you stumble across Jackie after she's just broken up with her boyfriend, you feel a moral obligation to make sure she's okay. Naturally, that turns into something more.

warning/s: none.

author's note: it physically pained me to write soccer instead of football for this lol, a few 'football's might have slipped in out of habit. But yeah, hope you like this! it's a three parter and jackie taylor deserved better oops

also y/bf/n = your best friend's name

two / three / masterlist / wattpad

My fingers fumbled for the catch at the back of my camera, opening it up and revealing the freshly wound up film. As I grabbed it, I barely had chance to think about my next move before the door behind me slammed into my back, knocking me forward and making the roll fly in the air momentarily.

"No!" I yelped, reaching out to catch it before it could hit the concrete stairs and roll away into oblivion.

"Shit, sorry," someone said with realisation as I caught the roll and sighed with relief.

Gripping the roll tighter than ever, I closed the camera and let it hang from my neck as I turned to see who it was. "It's fine, maybe I should stand somewhere other than the entrance to unload my– shit, are you okay?"

My brows furrowed with concern at the sight of Jackie Taylor, the captain of the girl's soccer team. Her presence wasn't what concerned me, but rather the obvious tears on her face that she awkwardly tried to wipe away when our eyes briefly met.

"Yeah, I'm–" she started, but was interrupted by her own sniffling, and she completely turned away in an attempt to collect herself.

This was the opposite of the Jackie Taylor I'd come to know over the years. Having witnessed her rise into captain as I photographed the team's success – the Yellowjackets – for the school paper had given me enough time with her to know she was usually a happy, confident girl. I'd never seen her cry like this before, especially not at school.

"What happened?" I asked gently.

She shook her head, forcing a smile. "Nothing, I just– I broke up with Jeff."

I wasn't sure what to say at first, familiar with her boyfriend but knowing they were known for having their breaks here and there. Still, this looked worse than usual.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I finally spoke, chewing on my lip. "Is there anything I can do?"

She shook her head, straightening up suddenly. "No. But do you know when the next bus arrives? I was supposed to get a ride home with him, but–"

"No, er, I don't really get–" I started, but amended, "I mean, I can check, but–"

"Forget it," she said with a sigh. "I'll figure it out. Thanks."

Without another word, she walked past me and down the steps. I watched her, debating whether or not to offer her a ride since I knew for certain I'd never seen her catch a bus in my life, and it was well after school hours so they might not even be running now. There was also the fact that she was clearly upset, and my conscious wouldn't rest easy knowing I'd left her alone.

"Jackie, wait," I called out to her, pocketing my film canister and jogging to catch up to her. She stopped, turning around, and I pulled out my car keys. "I can give you a ride."

A little surprised, her hazel eyes widened slightly. "Oh. Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Yeah. C'mon."

She silently followed me to my car, getting into the passenger's seat as I did the driver's. It was never awkward between us before, but our exchanges were always limited to greetings, soccer talk or photo ops. Now however, there was a slight tension in the air, mainly because of her situation. She didn't speak except for when she told me where she lived, and after that, I didn't speak up either, not wanting to pressure her into sharing if she didn't want to.

"Thank you," she muttered halfway through the drive, and I glanced over at her to see her watching me apologetically. "Is your camera thingy okay? Whatever I knocked?"

"The film, yeah," I assured her. "No worries. It was just the roll from the baseball game yesterday. So pretty low value considering they always lose."

It was a poor attempt to make her laugh, since it was universally known that the school baseball team were below average, especially compared to the Yellowjackets, but it seemed to work as she let out a quiet chuckle. I smiled, glad she was cheered up a little.

"Well, sorry anyway," she added politely.

I shrugged. "No harm done."

Another silence fell upon us the remainder of the drive to hers, but it wasn't awkward any longer. Once I pulled up outside her house, I tried not to let my amazement at how huge her place was show. I'd always known she was rich, but this was another level.

"Thanks for the ride," she spoke, pulling me from my stupor.

I met her gaze, expression softening slightly. "You gonna be okay?"

She nodded, and I had no choice but to believe her.

"Okay then. Well, see you tomorrow, Jackie."

She smiled a little before getting out the car and heading inside. Despite her feigned confidence, it was obvious she wasn't happy, and I only hoped she would feel better tomorrow. Whatever had happened between her and Jeff hadn't been like the usual, not judging by the state of her.

The next day after school was when I had chance to properly check on Jackie. I was at the Yellowjackets' practice, shooting for the yearbook, and she was there too.

"You gonna make us look good, right, Y/L/N?" Nat, one of the players, asked when she saw me heading on the field.

"Always," I returned with a smile, and she grinned as she jogged away to get started.

My eyes scanned the field before I spotted Jackie by the goal, using the post to stretch. I subtly approached her, not wanting to draw too much attention in case she hadn't told anyone about the breakup.

"Hey, Jackie," I greeted her, making her pause from her stretching. "How are you doing? Y'know, about the yesterday thing?"

She smiled gratefully, nodding. "I'm good, Y/N, thanks."

I wasn't sure if she was telling the truth, but I also didn't expect her to confide in me, so I simply nodded.

"Good, well... if you ever wanna talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks," she said quietly, smile fading a little. "I appreciate it."

I gave her a genuine smile. "Anytime."

And with that, I left her to it, feeling a lot better knowing I'd at least offered up my help.

The Yellowjackets' soccer game was after school at the end of that same week, and I was paying them a visit beforehand to wish them luck and also gift them some candid portraits they'd asked for a few weeks ago.

When I let myself in their locker room, they were pretty much dressed in their uniforms, some helping each other out with braiding their hair back or engaging in some pre-game superstitions. It always made me smile because they never failed to hype themselves up and it showed.

"Heeeeeyyyyy! Y/N's here with our close ups!" someone shouted, and everybody cheered as I rolled my eyes playfully.

First on the pile of photos in my hand was Van, who I found searching in her locker whilst singing along to a song that was blasting from the stereo in the corner.

"There's my favourite goalie," I greeted, and she laughed as I handed her the photograph in a plastic wallet. "For you. The one you liked in the paper, right?"

She straightened up when she saw it, smile brightening on her face. "Oh, hell yeah, this is so badass! Thanks, Y/N!"

"No worries," I said dismissively, before moving around the room to hand out the rest of the photos.

Everybody seemed pleased with what they got, which was always reassuring to hear since it was supposed to be my best skill.

"Last but not least, Jackie," I said, finding the team captain by her locker, fixing her hair in the mirror that hung inside.

She flashed me a smile as I handed her the photograph. In it, she was mid-kicking a ball into the net, scoring a goal for the team.

"Y/N, I love it," she said with gratitude, eyes taking the whole image in before looking up to me. "Thank you."

I held out another photograph, earning a confused look from her. "It's a little bonus photo. Thought it might cheer you up after everything."

She raised her eyebrows slightly, before accepting the photo and studying it. This one was a photo I'd taken at the Yellowjackets' last game, moments after they'd won. Jackie was cheering with her teammates and I'd managed to take the perfect picture of her as she was surrounded by them, a grin on her face, eyes bursting with excitement. It was probably my favourite of the two.

"You didn't need to..." she started, but stopped herself. And then she surprised me with a hug, wrapping her one free hand around my neck. "I really appreciate it."

Before I could even think to hug her back, she pulled away to give me a heartwarming smile.

"Anytime," I told her, acutely aware of the mild butterflies in my stomach from her gaze, but that was merely because I wasn't stupid and Jackie Taylor was very pretty. "If you're ever thinking about you-know-what, just remember. At the end of the day, he's just some guy."

Her smile widened and then she let out a laugh. "Very true. I won't forget."

I smiled, nodding and taking a step back. "I'll leave you to finish getting ready. Good luck tonight. Not that you'll need it."

"Be sure to get my best side," she joked, turning her head to the left.

I laughed. "Jackie Taylor doesn't have a bad side."

She winked playfully, and I left her to it as I headed out to the field to get ready to photograph tonight's game.

As expected, the Yellowjackets won and I got a lot of good shots in of their winning goals. Even though a lot of the photos were similar to others I'd taken, I didn't mind it as it challenged me to try out different things with my camera, like messing with the shutter speed or even using a double exposure to create cool effects.

After snapping some final shots of the team celebrating on the pitch, I moved out the way of the friends and family who were there with them and focused on changing the roll of film in my camera. Just after rewinding the current roll and opening the back of my camera, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder unexpectedly. Startled yet again, my hands twitched and the roll flew up and out the camera. I managed to catch it before it could fall into the grass, and turned around to find Jackie failing to stifle her laughter.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I didn't mean to scare you again," she said apologetically.

"Oh, it's fine," I said sarcastically, stuffing the roll into the canister in my pocket. "It's only the winning goals on film."

She sighed through her nose, her lips pursed into an amused smile. "Sorry. I came because the girls wanted a team photo."

I gave her a knowing look. "On it."

After gathering the team together and replacing my film, I took a few photos of them with their medals and trophy before my job was officially done for the afternoon.

"They come out good?" Jackie asked afterwards, as I put my camera away.

"I'd like to think so," I said sarcastically, making her roll her eyes lightheartedly.

"So, the party tonight," she started, piquing my interest. "You're coming, right?"

I quirked a brow. "Huh?"

"It's at the usual spot," she added.

I pursed my lips, unsure how to tell her that though I knew what she was talking about and I'd always been invited, the post-soccer game party wasn't my thing.

"You don't usually come, do you?" she caught on, crossing her arms with amusement.

"It's not really my scene," I admitted.

"Well, d'you wanna perhaps make a change tonight?" she asked, pleading with her eyes. "I'd love to see you there."

I wasn't sure why she suddenly wanted me there – maybe because I'd been extra nice to her recently and she felt she owed me? And I also wasn't sure if she knew the effect she had on people when she gave them her whole 'innocent doe-eyed' look, but maybe she did since it seemed to work.

"Fine," I gave in reluctantly, making her grin. I nodded to my best friend, Y/BF/N, who was sat in the stands as she made notes on tonight's game – she was a journalist for the paper. "Can I bring Y/BF/N?"

"Duh," she said like it was a dumb question. "You're both always welcome."

I nodded. "Okay, I guess I'll see you tonight."

She tilted her head, eyes sparkling with her usual Jackie mischief. "See you tonight."

"I'm so glad Jackie convinced you," Y/BF/N was saying with excitement as I drove us to the deserted clearing where the party was being held. "I've always wanted to go to one of these things, but you always say no."

"I've literally never stopped you," I said, giving her a sideways glance.

"I couldn't just go without you," she said, in a somewhat sweet way which made me feel guilty for never going to one of these things with her.

"Well, feel free to go crazy tonight," I said with a slight smile. "I'm driving."

"Oh, you bet I will," she said eagerly, making me laugh.

When we got there, the party was in full swing. A bonfire was set up in the middle, with a lot of people from our grade hanging about. Some were dancing, drinking and chatting away, celebrating the Yellowjackets' win. As Y/BF/N and I passed a few of our classmates to reach Jackie and the team, I was reminded why parties weren't my scene, but sucked it up for Y/BF/N.

"And there she is!" Nat shouted, spotting me first and pulling me in for a side hug. "When Jackie told us you were coming, I could swear she was bullshitting."

"It's good to see you too, Nat," I laughed.

"And Y/BF/N is out tonight too," Lottie noticed with a smile. "It's nice to have you both here."

"Anything to support the team," Y/BF/N played along, making everyone laugh. "Now, what's a girl gotta do to get a drink around here?"

As Nat tugged her away to find her a drink, Jackie approached my side and nudged me gently.

"I'm glad you made it," she said, eyes doing a once over of me which admittedly made me nervous. "You look pretty. And it's the first time I've seen you without a camera, who knew it was possible?"

I rolled my eyes, though a smile ghosted my lips. Judging from her stifled grin, she was impressed at her own joke.

"You want a drink?" she offered, already about to leave and grab me one, but I shook my head politely.

"Thanks, but I'm designated driver tonight."

"Me and you both," Shauna said, raising her cup of water.

I cracked a smile as Jackie looked back to me hopefully.

"Okay, well how about a dance?"

I tried to hide my surprise, unsure if I could handle dancing with the Jackie Taylor without freaking out. No, I wasn't insanely head over heels for the girl, but yes, I had eyes and knew I'd get nervous dancing with a flirt like her.

"Maybe when a good song comes on," I settled on the safe response.

She studied me curiously. "Hmm. And what's a good song?"

I listened to the music that was on now, definitely not my style, and truthfully answered, "Definitely not this. Maybe some [your favourite artist]?"

She sighed defeatedly. "Your lucky day. I don't think anybody brought that tape."

I shrugged playfully. "Shame."

It was her turn to roll her eyes, feigning annoyance, but she got me a cup of water nonetheless and I stayed to chat with her, Shauna and a few others in her team. Y/BF/N returned with Nat not long later, and conversation soon changed from the soccer game to the paper. I didn't mind, enjoying talking to them about it all, as did Y/BF/N, but then a few of them were after some more fun 'party' stuff, and headed over to get a little more drunk.

Shauna and I, designated drivers as we'd established, stuck together for most of the evening. She watched as Jackie danced the night away with the others, and I watched as Y/BF/N had the time of her life, flirting with some of the jocks. By the time an hour and a half passed and my social battery had completely drained, Y/BF/N was pretty drunk and I knew we had to leave.

I said my goodbyes to Shauna before finding Jackie to the do the same. She wasn't as drunk as Y/BF/N, but definitely tipsy. As soon as she spun around, a massive grin fell on her lips and she hugged me.

"Okay," I said with surprise, receiving a lot more hugs from Jackie Taylor this past week than I had in my life. "I've gotta get Y/BF/N home now, Jackie. Just wanted to say goodnight."

"Thank you for coming," she said, pulling back with a drunken smile, but alert eyes. "And for the photos you gave me. And in general, for being a really great friend."

Yep, definitely bordering drunk.

"Thanks for inviting me tonight," I said, patting her arm before letting go. "I... liked it."

Okay, maybe not, but she was trying to be nice and I had to return the favour.

Jackie Taylor wasn't stupid though, even in this state, and a quiet chuckle from her told me all I need to know. "You owe me a dance."

"One day, maybe," I breathed out, glancing at her.

She smirked. "I'll take it."

Jackie had always been friendly with me around school, but since that week, it was as if she made more of an effort to be. Whether it was saying hi to me in the hallways, smiling at me between classes or chatting to me more whenever I was taking photos, she was more involved in my life. I didn't hate it of course, but it was something new.

One weekend, I was running some errands around town when I decided to finish up at one of my favourite coffee shops and treat myself. Armed with my purse and current read, I headed in and ordered myself a mocha with the intention of settling in the corner of the store and having some 'me' time. Of course, when I collected my drink from the counter, a familiar voice called my name and I spun around with furrowed brows.

To my surprise, it was Jackie waving at me from her table by the window, seated opposite Shauna. It felt a little rude to ignore her, so I headed over and smiled at them both.

"Fancy seeing you here," Jackie said with a grin, before motioning next to Shauna. "Join us?"

I glanced at Shauna, who had a welcoming smile on her face, so I replied, "Oh, er, thanks. Good to see you guys!"

As I took my seat, I left my bag next to me, expecting my reading time to become nonexistent now that I'd joined the two soccer players.

"We're not bothering you, are we?" Shauna asked considerately, making me smile with amusement because she was so different to an oblivious Jackie.

"Nah, you're good," I assured her, before looking between them. "What are you two up to then?"

"Oh, just having a girls day," Jackie answered, leaning back in her seat and flashing me her signature smile. "How about you?"

"Just running some errands," I said with a shrug. "Picking up some more film, getting some stuff for my mum, not much."

"So, I take it you finished the English assignment due tomorrow?" Shauna asked.

"Oh, yeah, got that done weeks ago," I said like it was a silly question, and then I saw the look Shauna shot Jackie and realised. "Wait, you haven't finished it?"

Jackie scoffed playfully. "Oh, come on, of course I have!" When Shauna kept staring at her, she continued, "I just need to write the conclusion."

"And the introduction," Shauna mumbled.

"Okay, yes, fine," Jackie gave in. "But it'll be done!"

I quirked a brow at her. "You not even worried? Mr. C isn't known for his leniency."

"Oh, Mr. C does not scare me," she said with assuredness. "Besides, I reckon I can talk him into giving me a two day extension."

I exhaled, trying not to laugh. "Of course you can."

I was convinced that there wasn't something Jackie Taylor couldn't do, and judging by the satisfied smile on her lips, I think she knew it too.

The three of us stayed there as I finished my coffee, and continued to sit there chatting about all sorts. I'd never really hung out with them properly outside of school, so I was oddly surprised with how well we got along.

Eventually, Shauna checked her watch and was sorry to interrupt our fruitless conversation about the rumours regarding our Chemistry teacher and IT teacher hooking up.

"I'm sorry, guys, but I gotta shoot off," she said with a slight frown.

"Oh, no worries," I said, straightening up, ready to leave the booth so she could leave.

"Aw no, really, Shauna?" Jackie said with a pout. "It's not even been an hour!"

"Hey, I'm not stopping you from staying, but you'll have to catch the bus home," Shauna replied with a chuckle, making Jackie scrunch her nose with disgust.

As I got up, letting Shauna stand, I realised what the problem was and looked to Jackie. "I don't mind giving you a ride."

And just like that, her smile returned. "Really?"

I shrugged. "No biggie."

"Awesome, thanks, Y/N," Shauna said gratefully, squeezing my shoulder. "Can't have Princess Jackie stranded without a carriage."

I laughed as Jackie rolled her eyes at the insult, and Shauna tried to hide her smile as she said her goodbyes.

"It's not that funny," Jackie stated, when she saw the smile still on my lips.

"It kind of is," I said with a breathy chuckle.

She crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at me lightheartedly. Now that we were alone, I figured now was a better time than any to properly check in on her.

"So, how have you been doing?" I asked carefully. "Since the whole you-know-what?"

Unlike the last time I asked her a few weeks ago, she actually seemed to be doing a lot better, no hint of sadness in her eyes. "Pretty good. Think I might be over it now. You know how boys can be."

I hummed, awkward smile forming on my lips as I suddenly distracted myself with whatever was going on outside the window. I failed to remember how observant Jackie was though.

"Wait, have you never had a boyfriend?" she asked with surprise, leaning forward slightly.

I settled with shaking my head, and she tried to make me feel better by shrugging and sipping her milkshake from the straw.

"You're not missing out on much," she assured me.

I couldn't help but snicker, shaking my head, though grateful for her attempt at putting me at ease. "That's what people who've had boyfriends usually say."

She smiled, cheeks dusting pink when I caught her out, and now it was my turn to assure her.

"It's fine," I said nonchalantly. "Boys are gross anyway."

She snorted with amusement. "Amen. It would just be easier to date girls, wouldn't it?"

I was surprised she'd said that, staying quiet for a second too long, and her eyes widened with realisation.

Suddenly embarrassed, she stuttered, "Oh, you like– I mean, you're– you're a–"

"Lesbian?" I finished with an entertained smile. She nodded awkwardly, and I confirmed, "Yeah, but I don't exactly go around shouting it out. People don't tend to react well when they find out."

She exhaled softly, eyes flittering around the table nervously. "Oh. Well, I won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about."

I shrugged, soaking in a flustered Jackie for a little longer, holding in my laughter. Truthfully, it was very amusing watching her figure out the best reaction because I knew she was harmless. It would have been easy to embarrass her a little more for fun, but she was clearly going through it with her deep pink cheeks, now matching the colour of her lips.

After a moment of collecting herself, her hazel eyes met mine in an attempt to return to normal. "So, are there any girls you're interested in?"

It was impossible not to laugh now as I gave her a questioning look. "Really, Jackie?"

She nodded quickly, eyes returning to the table. "Right. Sorry."

I giggled at her expression before changing the subject, knowing it would definitely make her feel better. Despite my confidence in my sexuality, a small part of me hoped she wouldn't treat me any different after finding out, and thankfully, she didn't. We still chatted like usual, enjoying each other's company, until she finished her milkshake and it was time to head off.

It might have been the sugar from her milkshake, or just her plain inability to sit still, but when I was driving home, she wouldn't stop messing around with the radio stations, trying to find a good song.

"Oh my god, you're driving me insane," I finally said, making her stop.

"Not my fault the radio is garbage," she said in a knowing tone.

I rolled my eyes playfully before nodding to the centre console. "I have some cassettes. Find something you like and please stop breaking my radio."

She smiled cheekily before doing just that, flicking through the tapes I had. Finally, she decided on some Mariah Carey and managed to keep quiet the rest of the way. Occasionally she'd hum along, but I much preferred that over her touching the radio a million times.

When we reached her house, I pulled up outside and offered her a smile. "Was cool hanging out with you and Shauna today."

"It was," she agreed, before grabbing her purse and resting her hand on the door handle. "We should do it again sometime."

I shrugged, not minding, and her smile widened before she got out.

Leaning her head down to look at me through the open window, she added, "Thanks for the ride. Again."

I cleared my throat, a smile ghosting my lips as I said, "In the wise words of Shauna Shipman, we can't have Princess Jackie stranded without a–"

"Ass," she mumbled, leaving before I could finish, but a smile crossed her expression as I laughed to myself.

I suppose hanging out with Jackie Taylor wasn't so bad.

#jackie taylor #jackie taylor x reader #jackie taylor imagine #ella purnell #yellowjackets #yellowjackets imagine #jackie taylor x you

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Word count: 1900+

Warnings: none

Part XI | Part XIII

You were sitting in your room, breathing deeply. Even after Rhys left, whatever he did with the scent of magic it stayed like that. You were overjoyed with the feeling of not wanting to puke. Your headache and pain of limbs eased, too.

The garden outside the window plunged into darkness, it was past the dinner time. But you didn't move a bit. You were sitting like this since he left, thinking about the offer he made you. Memories, your past, faces of your parents, your childhood. Did you want it back? Would it fill that empty space in your heart and soul that you felt all those years you lived alone in the forest? Thousands of questions without answer swirled in your mind.

A soft knock sounded on your door. You ignored it, wanting to be alone. Rhysand said he would give you time to think things over, so it most likely wasn't him, but it could be his mate. Or even worse, your cousin Mor. You weren't in mood to listen to her ramblings.

The door opened and closed and few tendrils of the shadows wrapped around your hands, playing with your fingers. The room filled up with refreshing scent of cedar and mist. You waited for the wave of nausea to hit you, but nothing happened. Closing eyes you breathed in deeply and for a moment you were back in the forest. Tension from your shoulders disappeared.

Porcelain rattled against the wood. Tray with plates full of food appeared on a small table next to the armchair.

"Figured you must be hungry," a deep voice said lowly. Your head followed the sound. Azriel was standing behind the armchair, giving you a soft smile. His eyes of colour of warm honey shone even in the dark room. "Can I?" He gestured to the other armchair.

You nodded. Your heart again did strange things in your chest. You saw this male just several times during your stay here, but it was always the same. Surge of energy ran through your body, pinching your skin, your heart was jumping, racing and stumbling. Yet a sense of peace filled you. As odd as it was, he made you feel at home.

This was the third time you were alone with him, because usually you saw him only at a meal time. To be honest you would like to spend with him much more time than those short moments. You felt good in his presence and he never bothered you with rambling or stories of the past. He was rather a silent type. In a certain way he reminded you of Tamlin who also wasn't too talkative and enjoyed silent and peaceful moments. Your heart clenched painfully at that memory.

When Azriel introduced himself he said he was a spy of your brother, so you imagined he was quite busy. He often disappeared for several days. Azriel was also the first one to call you by your name. That was another reason you liked him.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

You searched for the answer, considering what you actually felt. "I think I'm confused. Uncertain.."

"About what?"

You rolled your eyes. "Don't pretend you haven't heard about it. I pretty sure that Rhysand informed all of you about the things we spoke today."

His lips pressed together for a second. "You are right. He did, but I'd rather hear it from you personally. And just so you know, he made sure the whole house and garden are stripped of magic, so you can leave this room, if you want." His voice was gentle. He always spoke like that with you.

Your eyes widened. "Why would he do something like that?"

"There's nothing he wouldn't do for you. You are his baby sister and he loves you dearly." His posture and gaze was communicating similar emotions. You didn't know how, but you knew, Azriel would do just as much for you if not more.

A lump rose in your throat and tears filled your eyes. Suddenly you felt really bad for everything you told to Rhysand earlier and that you basically accused him of drugging you with who-knows-what medicines.

Azriel reached out, caressing you cheek. "Y/N, hey. You okay?" he cooed softly.

Without thinking you leaned into his touch. "I was quite harsh with him earlier.. well, the whole time.."

He chuckled. "No need to feel bad for that. He will survive. His ego is too big to be hurt by that. Also he is used to get a cold shoulder from you."

His laugh was so contagious you smiled, too. For some reason you felt special to witness it. You didn't know where the feeling came from, too. It seemed that your heart remembered more that your head.

He pushed the tray closer to you. "Try to eat something before the food gets cold. You will feel better with full tummy."

Tummy. What a ridiculous word coming from lips of a male like him. It was too sensual. It made your insides throbbing with.. could it be lust? It was hard to name it as you had never experienced anything like that except of that last evening with Tamlin.

Pushing those feelings and thoughts to the back, you eyed the plates. There was a lot of vegetables, some meat and fruits. All your favourite ones. You had to admit that he was really good at his job. He noticed even the smallest details. You blushed when your stomach growled loudly. Your eyes darted to him half expecting to find him laughing his head off, but Azriel pretended he didn't hear anything, merely smiling at you encouragingly.

You picked up a strawberry and took a bite. As the sweetness filled your mouth you closed eyes and sighed softly.

"You haven't changed," Azriel muttered amused.

You raised a brow in surprise, looking at him.

"You always loved the strawberries so much that one could feel its taste just by watching you eat them," he explained. He looked so.. gentle.

Your heart made a somersault in the chest picking up on speed, breath caught in your throat. There was another certain feeling you couldn't name, but it was close to what you felt when Tamlin smiled at you, teased you or when he played the fiddle for you. It kind of hurt, yet it was sweet. Just like the strawberry you ate.

Swallowing hard you took a fork and tried to concentrate on the food. It was quite a hard task.

Azriel silently watched you eating. Strangely you didn't mind it at all. When you finished, you pulled the knees to your chest and looked out the window. The garden was so dark you hardly recognised the shapes of trees and bushes, Sidra flowing behind the garden reflected the lights of the city on the opposite bank. And above that all, the stars twinkled, shining brighter than you'd ever seen them.

"Have you thought about Rhys' offer?" Azriel asked suddenly, his eyes never leaving your face.

"M-hm," you grunted. "That's why I'm so confused. I don't know if I want it."

"Why? What's stopping you?"

You silently watched the night sky for a moment, gathering your thoughts. "It's like.. I don't know.. I'm afraid who I would be after finding out who I was before. That I could lose myself."

"I don't think you would. If there's something you have in common with Rhys, it's strength. I've noticed it back then and I see it in you even now. There aren't many who could live through what you did."

Your cheeks burned. "But what if I change?" you mumbled barely audible.

"Believe it or not, you haven't changed that much," he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. "With memories or without them, it's up to you who you will be, but no matter how you change it will still be you." And we will love you nonetheless. He didn't say that, but he didn't have to. It was in each word he spoke.

This male was strange. In a good way of course. It only took him a few minutes to make you feel better, lighter, to make a part of your worries disappear. You felt good with him. You only knew him for a short time, yet you could open up and talk to him about anything.

"I'm scared to remember. I don't know it for sure, but .. I think there are some memories that should remain forgotten.."

Azriel nodded. "If you want, Rhysand could try to revive just a small amount of memories at a time. You can stop any time, he won't push you to continue."

"Really? Do you think he would..?" You were surprised. When Rhysand told you he could bring the memories back, you imagined it would be all at once. You didn't know he could do it in small amounts.

Azriel raised a brow. "Of course he would. As I said he'd do anything for you."

That gave you something new to think about. By the time Azriel bid you a goodnight and left taking the tray with him, you had made up your mind. Afraid you could change your decision until the morning, you decided to look for Rhysand and tell him right away.

You went down the stairs and to the sitting room, but all lights were already turned off. In your hurry you didn't notice what time it was. With little hope you headed to his office. You stopped in front of the doors and listened. It was quiet inside. Thinking he had already gone to sleep, you turned around. You made only three steps into a hall when the office doors opened.

"Y/N?" Rhysand sounded tired. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

You turned to him, suddenly uncertain what to tell him. All courage you had just few moments ago, had left you. "I-.."

"Come in," he opened the doors wider.

You stepped in and looked around. You hadn't been in this room yet. Air was filled with smell of old parchment. Walls were covered with shelves full of books. There were several armchairs and sofas, so all members of his family could attend a meeting here. The room was dominated by large desk with two big windows behind it. There between the windows a painting of Feyre was hanged.

You smiled. "You love her a lot."

Rhysand stood next to you, looking at the same painting. "I do. She is my mate, my everything. I waited for her for 500 years. Some day I will tell you how we met. You'll like it," he smirked.

He gestured to the one of the armchairs in front of the desk and you sat down. He leaned against the desk, watching you with a smile, waiting.

You fidgeted nervously and cleared your throat. You couldn't stand the kind look of his violet-blue eyes, so you gazed down on your intertwined fingers.

"I-.. I talked with Azriel and.. I would like to accept your offer."

Rhysand's smile widened. "I'm happy to hear that." He watched you closely, tilting his head to the side. "But?"

You breathed out shakily. "Azriel told me you could return my memories in small amounts. I-.. I'm still not sure if I want to remember everything that happened to me.. I-"

His big hands landed on yours, squeezing them gently. "It's okay. We can stop whenever you want. I promise."

You shot up, tears stinging your eyes. Before you knew what you were doing, you hugged him. Rhysand stiffened for a heartbeat, but then his arms wrapped around you.

"Thank you," you whispered into his shoulder. He answered by running his hand up and down your back, rubbing it lovingly.

"If you want we can start tomorrow. What do you think?"

"I'd like that."

That night you slept peacefully, without nightmares.

Taglist:

@impossibelle @sevikas-whore @b0xerdancer @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @tele86 @mybestfriendmademe @nocasdatsgay @yunloyal

#tamlin x reader #tamlin fanfiction #tamlin acotar #tamlin #pro tamlin #azriel fanart #az x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #azriel x you #a court of thorns and roses #acotar #acotar x reader #sarah j maas #writers on tumblr #writers

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Best day of my life (USWNT x ADHD reader)

Song: The one my heart beats for by Greg Steinfeld

This took longer than I expected and I got a bit carried away, but it's finally done!

I love this series, but I think it might be coming to an end. I'm open to doing one more part if you guys might want one, let me know and feel free to send me some ideas!

Warnings: Panic attack, self doubt

Part One, Two, Three, Four

Words: 7.3k

"What's got you so excited today?" Tierna asked sitting down next to me on the field. While I had tried to tone it down a bit, I was very hyperactive today. My hyperactivity was always worse when I was excited, there was pretty much nothing that could be done to stop it. Ally had to go back home for a month for work. We hadn't been apart for that long since her promotion so I was suffering. She was coming back today so it was safe to say I was extremely excited.  

"Take a guess."

"Something to do with your better half I'd say. Is she coming back today?"

I did a little wiggle before flopping back onto the grass, "Yup. A month is way too long to not be with her. Oh! It's also her birthday in a few days! I love her birthday because it's the one day I get to go all out spoiling her and she can't complain about it." 

"You two are adorable, I love how excited you get to see her. We should do a team dinner to celebrate Ally's birthday. Is the wedding planning all done?"

"You guys would really want to celebrate her birthday? Um also mostly, we just need to sort out wedding rings and honeymoon."

Tierna looked at me like I had just said the craziest thing ever, "You're marrying her, we see her almost as much as you and she is amazing. Y/n, Ally is family now, of course we want to celebrate her. What rings are you going to get?"

The problem was, I had no idea what my ring was going to be. I had been scouring the internet and countless jewelers for anything that might work, but I was drawing a blank. Rings were a sensory nightmare for me, I could wear them for a short time before they started driving me crazy. Ally had gotten me a few rings over the years, mostly fidget rings. She knew I liked them and wanted to try adjusting even though I always ended up wearing them on a chain. It was my wedding ring though, I wanted to be able to wear it normally, to show off that I was married.

"I don't know. I think Ally is going to use her engagement ring since she loves it so much. I really struggle with wearing rings so we were talking about getting me a fidget ring though a fancier one to fit as a wedding ring. That way I can play with it and hopefully it'll help me get used to it. Ally wouldn't care if I wore it on a chain, but I want to wear it like normal people do, I want to show off I'm married T."

"Hey, don't go comparing yourself to others okay? I think a fidget ring is a great idea and it's awesome you're trying to adjust even if it makes you uncomfortable. Just be patient with yourself and if all else fails, just get it tattooed."

"That's not a silly idea. Thanks T."

---

"Hey Y/n, wher-"

"Don't have time," I yelled running away from Emily. Ally had messaged saying she was downstairs. I was very excited to see her, but I also wasn't going to let her carry her bags up herself. Whenever we went anywhere, I carried her bags. Ally had messaged me when she was already in the lobby, so I was in a rush to beat her before she could come up. 

Before Ally had the chance to turn around I wrapped my arms around her waist and spun her around. She squealed, well at least the person I was currently spinning around squealed. As soon as I heard it, I realised it wasn't Ally. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I thought you were someone else."

The women laughed, before turning around to reveal Ally's younger sister. When you see her face on, they look nothing alike, but behind they look very similar, "Hi Y/n."

"Dani? What are you doing here? Where's Ally? I'm very confused."

"Ally's over there getting her key. I'm in town for a work conference so figured I'd come see Ally for her birthday." By this point, the coaches just automatically roomed me alone, but put down for two so Ally could stay with me. There had been a bit of push back when Ally first started traveling with me, though it was quickly realised that I played better when sharing a room with Ally.

After giving Dani a proper hug, I pulled away to go find Ally. There was no way I was going to repeat what just happened so instead I tapped Ally on the shoulder once she was clearly identified. "A warning would have been nice y'know, I just picked up and spun around your sister. Like I'm not complaining, I love your sister, but I love you more."

"I know, I saw and it was hilarious." I pouted. Ally giggled, pulling me into a hug and subtly kissing my neck. We didn't go out of our way to hide our relationship, but we were more careful in public. Things were easier without the public interfering, I also didn't want Ally to have to deal with the meanness of some of the fans. "I'm sorry my love. It was a last minute plan."

I pretended to think about it for a second before smirking, "Hmm I'll forgive you later when we're alone."

Ally blushed, but pulled me over to Dani without a word. I could only guess what was going through her mind. Dani had become like a sister to me pretty much as soon as we had met. So despite my initial embarrassment, I was actually really excited to see her. She was only a few months younger than me and much to Ally's dismay, she did match my energy most of the time. Ally loved that we got along, but it meant she had to deal with two crazy people. 

It was too early for dinner yet so Ally, Dani and I hung around in our room for a while catching up and talking about wedding stuff. Dani made me sit through the torture of looking at her possible dress choices. Ally loved it, but I would rather be doing anything else. Dani literally sat on me though, so there was no other option. 

Ally was taking too long to get ready so Dani and I decided to wait for her in the lobby. I had spent too much time sitting down and was feeling restless so I ran down the stairs while Dani walked behind me, complaining she wasn't an athlete and to slow down. I just flipped her off and ran faster, knowing full well that if Ally or Ali found out I would be in trouble.

Dani had decided to chase me after flipping her off. Some of the team were hanging around the lobby so I made a beeline to Ali and hid behind her, though Dani hadn't given up. I managed a few laps around Ali before she grabbed my shirt, allowing Dani to catch me. The team watched on as Dani tickled me, while I tried to fight her off. It wasn't an easy task given the full blown fits of laughter, but I managed to get her into a headlock. 

Eventually, Dani pulled out of my grip, doubling over in laughter while attempting to catch her breath. I followed suit, not realising how many eyes were currently on us. "Uh hey Y/n and mystery women who's not your fiancé."

My head shot up as I realised how strange this probably looked to them. "Right, this is Dani. Dani the team."

"Hello team."

"Where's Ally?" Ali asked, still looking very confused.

"She was taking too long to get ready as always so we left without her. We're always waiting on her, such a slowpoke." Dani answered, getting raised eye brows in response. A few of the team looked like they wanted to say something, but held back. It was then I realised I hadn't actually told them who Dani was.

"Dani is Ally's sister by the way. She's in town for work so we thought we'd go out for an early birthday dinner for Ally."

"Ohh that makes more sense. Nice to meet you Dani."

Ally caught my eye, looking stunning as always. I was really looking forward to having time alone with her. Not necessarily for inappropriate reasons, but to cuddle with her, the lazy make out sessions before we fell asleep or when we woke up and just being close to her. Dani flicked my ear, running out of my reach. Ali dodged me as I ran around her, moving to the safety of where Ally was standing, "Are they always like that?"

"Unfortunately. Dani matches Y/n's energy pretty much constantly so it's like having a hyperactive Y/n, times like 10 because they feed off each other. Dani is like the sister Y/n never had. They're happy, so I'm happy even though it's exhausting sometimes. I'll give them a few minutes to tire themselves out before stopping them, hopefully they'll sit through dinner."

"Good luck. The team and I were thinking we could go out for dinner to celebrate your birthday. Either on the day or a day around it. What do you think?"

"I would love that." Ally's smile caught my eye, distracting me from where I was going and making me run into Kristie. She stopped me from falling, but all my attention was still on Ally. It was one of her genuinely happy smiles, something that people wouldn't be able to tell apart from her regular smiles. This smile was more lopsided and toothy, the corner of her eyes crinkling just a bit more. Besides her love filled smile it was my favourite smile. Kristie and Dani followed my eye line when I didn't say anything for a while, "What are you looking at?"

"She's looking at Ally of course. She's in looooove."

"More than I ever thought possible," I mumbled, moving over to stand next to Ally. "I love you."

---

We had finished dinner a little while ago and had been walking around, but we all had to be up early so we dropped Dani at her hotel before starting the short walk back to ours. There weren't that many people around so my arm wrapped around Ally's shoulder, pulling her against me as we walked. "I love everyone and everything, but I'm really glad we're alone now. I missed you."

Ally kissed the spot under my ear, "I missed you too Y/n/n. Thankfully, I don't think I'll need to spend that much time away for a while."

"Good. Mmm I can't wait to cuddle."

"I believe you hinted at something earlier."

"Oh yeah, you giving me a massage to make up for not telling me about Dani."

Ally groaned, pushing me away, "You're such a tease."

I laughed, pulling Ally back into me, peppering her face with kisses, "I'm sorry."

"Nah," She pouted, walking away and into the hotel. I went to chase after her, but a group of fans outside the hotel called out to me. Interacting with fans was one of my favourite things to do so of course I went over. I knew she wasn't seriously mad or anything so it made me feel less bad about going over to them. Also, she was waiting just inside giving me reassuring smiles. Ten minutes and dozens of photos later, I made my way back into the hotel, following Ally into the elevator. 

My arms wrapped around her waist from behind, leaving light kisses across her neck. Sometimes, I felt bad that Ally had to deal with me being well known to the public. She never complained about it, instead keeping her distance and allowing me to interact as I wanted to. The guilt was hitting pretty hard right now though.

Once we were back in the room, Ally cupped my cheek, pulling me in for a slow, lingering kiss, "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, not meeting her eyes, "Nothing."

"Liar. You haven't said a word since you came inside, you got all soft and touchy suddenly so talk to me."

 "You're the best you know that? It can't be easy dating someone who's in the public eye all the time."

"You're feeling guilty again aren't you?" I just nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed. Ally straddled my legs, letting my head fall against her shoulder. "Y/n, I knew before we started dating that you were in the public eye and that once you got called up, it would only get worse. Maybe it's not always easy, but if I couldn't handle it, then I wouldn't have pursued you, let alone agreed to spend the rest of my life with you. You're respectful about it, you know the time and place to leave me to interact with them. Please don't feel guilty Y/n/n. Now, I know it's getting late, but I've really really missed you so what do you say we get reacquainted."

Once we were thoroughly reacquainted and cuddled up in bed for the night, I completed my nightly routine of scrolling the internet for my wedding ring. This time though I think I found the one. It was a simple black titanium fidget ring, engraved with shooting stars. They were subtle as they were black and flush with the surface. Ally absolutely loved stars so it would be a little reminder of her when we were apart. Another perk was there was the option to have the band width smaller which would be perfect.

I quickly rolled over toward Ally, making her look at me confused. "Baby I think I finally found my ring."

"Ooo show me." Ally grinned after seeing the photo, kissing my temple, "I love it. Stars because of me right?"

"You know me too well. A part of you for when you're not around."

"You're such a sap."

I cuddled against her side, leaning up to connect our lips, "Only for you Ally."

"Better be. Now we've got everything else sorted, we need to plan our honeymoon."

"Honestly, I don't even know where to start. There are so many options."

"Well, you've always talked about wanting to go back to New Zealand to explore the south island. Maybe we could do that? It'll be winter, but it'll be ski season."

"Wait really? That sounds amazing. It kinda fits, skiing was our first trip as a couple and it'll be our first trip as a married couple. I'll look into game schedules so we can book it."

---

Something anyone could tell you was that I was not in the slightest a morning person. I hated waking up early and would do everything to avoid it. That being said, there were three days in a year that I naturally woke up early for. They were Ally's birthday, our anniversary and since meeting Ally, Christmas. This morning I was awake at 7:30am because it was Ally's 27th birthday. It was too early to wake her up so I spent almost an hour enjoying cuddles before getting restless and sneaking out of bed to find breakfast for us. 

I peppered Ally's face with kisses. She groaned, shoving her face further against my chest, "Baby wake up it's your birthday!"

"Why does my birthday have to be one of the three days a year you turn into a morning person?" Ally groaned.

"Because I get to spoil you and you can't complain. Now I got you breakfast. I couldn't make it this year, but I found a cafe close by that had all your favourites so you gotta wake up."

Ally protested, but sat up anyway, taking the coffee with a sleepy smile. We ate breakfast in comfortable quite, some random show playing in the background. I just wanted to give her the presents I got, but I wanted her to enjoy her breakfast while it was warm so I waited impatiently. As soon as Ally finished eating, I pecked her lips before practically running to the cupboard where I had hidden them.

"Y/n, why did you get me so much? You know you don't have to."

"I don't have to, I want to so deal with it. Besides, it's only three things. You are an amazing, incredible women who deserves to be spoilt. I love you so much. Happy birthday my love."

"Thank you Y/n/n. I do appreciate it even though I don't like you buying me heaps of stuff. I love you."

"I know, now open them!"

In all honesty, I wanted to buy Ally much more than I actually did, but I knew she would feel really bad and not enjoy them as much. Instead I stuck with matching silver initial necklaces with a heart pendant, a star map of the night I proposed and a custom engraved keychain with a photo of me standing behind Ally, arms wrapped around her as she looked back at me with a huge grin. It was her favourite photo of us. These were all things that she had talked about wanting. Ally grinned, launching herself into my arms giggling. "You remembered. Thank you, I love them."

"You wanna know a secret?" Ally nodded quickly, "You know my memories shit so whenever you point something out that you want or talk about, I write it down in my phone notes so I remember."

"Really? You're so sweet Y/n/n. Put this on for me?"

I secured the necklace around her neck, leaving kisses across her neck and jaw before leaving a lingering kiss against her lips. "I have a whole day planned for you. Don't even ask because it's all a surprise."

We spent a while making out before moving to the shower and finally leaving the hotel. Ally went for a spa and massage session, while I went to get stuff required for a picnic lunch at the gardens. It was a little bit chilly, but Ally loved picnics so it was still perfect. We just used it as an excuse to cuddle the whole time. After the picnic, we walked around for a little bit before going to a board game cafe. They had a heap of board games you could play while you were there. While board games may not have been my thing, they were definitely Ally's and her birthday was all about things that she liked doing. That night, I took Ally to a restaurant where the team were waiting to surprise her. Of course we finished the night cuddled up in bed watching all of Ally's favourite movies. 

---

I felt multiple intense and overwhelming feelings as I read the text from an unknown number. 

Unknown: Hi Y/n, it's mum and dad. We're sorry it's been a while, but we've been thinking about you recently and wanted to check in, see how you're doing?

Unknown: We also heard you were getting married and wanted to say congratulations. We're sure he's lovely and can't wait to meet him. Maybe we can sort out a time before your wedding?

Anger, disgust, sadness, fear and many more emotions swirled around my head as all I could do was stare at the message. I didn't know how they had gotten my number, how they knew I was getting married or why they suddenly felt the need to reach out after years of no contact. There was nothing on my public social media about it and the only family I still talked to were a few cousins that had nothing to do with my parents. It was safe to say I was confused as hell and slightly scared at how they were getting information on me. They also knew I was gay, yet they still refused to acknowledge it, instead deciding to misgender my fiancé. 

I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to process it. The familiar tightness in my chest returned as my breath caught in my throat. The tightness that I hadn't felt in so long. It felt like I was drowning, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't catch my breath. My phone fell to the floor, catching the attention of some of the girls. They were saying stuff that I couldn't comprehend as a hand landed on my shoulder. I knew they were trying to help, but it just sent more panic through me as I shrugged it off and stumbled back. 

Arms wrapped tightly around me from behind, calming me down enough to realise it was Ali. I wanted my Ally, but Ali was helping enough to breath a little easier despite still panicking. 

"You're okay, I've got you Y/n. Ally is coming, but I need you to take some deep breaths for me. Just follow my breathing."

The more I focused on mine and her breathing, the easier it became. I found myself relaxing against Ali. The tightness in my chest slowly disappearing. A few minutes later, hands cupped my face, familiar lips leaving soft kisses across my face before landing on my lips.

"Ally," I whimpered, pushing myself into her arms. 

"I've got you my love. Come on, let's go back to our room."

Ally didn't question what had happened straight away, instead she held me tightly as I curled into her side and cried. All the feelings and memories from growing up came rushing back. It had been years since I cried over them, I couldn't help feeling stupid. They didn't deserve my tears. 

A hand ran through my hair and down my back, effectively helping me to calm down enough to stop the tears, but left me a hiccupping mess, "What happened Y/n/n?"

I handed her my phone, never leaving the safety of her side, "Messages."

She was quiet for a few seconds before my phone was thrown back on the bed next to us and I was held tighter, "Oh hell no. Don't even give them the satisfaction of a reply, they don't deserve it and you don't need to deal with this. We can just block them and move past this."

"I know that's what I should do. I don't want anything to do with them, but how did they know I was getting married? We haven't posted anything publicly and we don't know anyone who has anything to do with them. They also shouldn't be able to message, I blocked them. It scares me."

"Okay, I'll text them back and ask then block them. You're not going to have anything to do with it."

"Thank you Ally. I feel like this is a huge step back. I thought I had accepted the situation and moved past it, but I obviously haven't."

"That's not true. It was unexpected, they put you through hell and this was a normal reaction. You've made so much progress, this doesn't take away from that. I know it might have taken you back to times you don't want to remember, but you'll move past it. We'll work through this together."

"I love you."

"I love you Y/n."

It didn't take long for my parents to reply. In all honesty, they were probably waiting by the phone. They were likely delusional enough to think that everything they did to me would be forgotten and I would welcome them back with open arms. Actually, they never understood what they put me through so in reality they just expected to act like the last 3 years never happened.

"So apparently my gran told her church group I was getting married, showing off photos and everything. Someone from the group recoganised you as the daughter of someone they know from a different group and told them you were getting married. As for your number, apparently they just got a new phone and tried your old number. I guess they got embarrassed that they didn't know so wanted to make themselves look better. I'm so sorry baby, I didn't know they were connected in anyway. I'll talk to gran about keeping stuff to herself."

"It's not your fault, it's such a random connection. I don't blame your grandma either, she's just excited that her granddaughter is getting married. We can talk to her about it tomorrow or something. Can you tell them I don't want anything to do with them, then tell them to fuck off, block them and delete the messages? I don't want any reminder of this."

"Of course. I think maybe we should change your number so this can't happen again."

"That's a tomorrow job as well. For now can we just have a bath then cuddle and watch movies? After you please let the girls know I'm okay."

"That sounds like heaven. Let me call my boss as well and let her know I'm done for the day."

"No, you should be working. I'll be fine."

"That's not happening. You're more important than work."

Ally slipped out of my grip to call her boss and run a bath before coming back. I pouted, lifting my arms up, "Carry me?"

"Baby, I would love to carry you, but you're the strong one. You know I would drop you."

She was right, I knew it from experience. Doesn't mean I didn't pout the whole time I was getting up, "Ugh fine."

"Don't pout. I can give you a massage instead."

---

None of the team had been told the details of what caused my panic attack a few days. I hadn't wanted to bring it up again. Surprisingly, after the initial panic attack, it hadn't effected me as much as I expected. There had been a few nightmares to begin with, but Ally had stopped me from bottling it up and actually made me deal with it. 

Ali gave me a quick hug before letting me into her room, "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but you doing okay kiddo?"

"I think so. Ally's been a big help." Besides Ally, Ali was the person I trusted most, so I gave her a quick rundown on what had happened. Even if she tried not to show it, I knew she was worried.  

"Don't worry, even if they show up, they won't be getting in."

"Thanks Ali. I know I've asked a lot of you recently, but I have another favour to ask."

"You know I would do almost anything for you Y/n."

"Will you teach me how to dance? Ally wants to have a first dance, but I don't really know how. She knows and offered not to have one which I agreed to. I'm planning on surprising her though and want it to be perfect."

Ali smiled widely, "Of course I will. I really admire how much effort you're putting into this. I'm sure she'll love it either way because you tried."

Ali put some slow music on quietly in the back ground before standing in front of me, "There are two ways you can do it, either holding one of her hands as you more around or one persons arms around the waist while the others around the neck. Or you can do both depending what you're comfortable with."

Ali guided one of my hands so it was around her waist, hers looped around the back of my neck as she connected our spare hands, "Obviously you two will be closer, but you get the idea."

We moved around in small steps, swaying to the music as I focused on not stepping on her feet. It didn't work though as my foot connected with the top of hers, she flinched, but laughed it off. "It's okay, we'll keep practicing. You're doing great. If you step on her feet, just laugh it off and keep going. I'm pretty sure she won't mind because you're trying."

I stepped on her feet multiple times before managing to go a few minutes without stepping on her feet and we moved on. I was starting to relax by this point while also getting excited about dancing with Ally. Ali looped her arms loosely around my shoulders as mine went around her waist. We mostly just swayed this time as she gave me pointers on where I could rest my hands or head on Ally. "I want you to spin me."

"What? No I can't do that."

"Yes you can, when we do the first dance, move your hand up, spin me around then bring me back in either into the same dance or into the second one which ever feels more comfortable."

As I attempted to spin Ali around, I brought her back in too quickly and ended up head butting her. "Shit, I'm sorry. See I can't do the spin."

"Yes you can, we'll keep practicing. It'll feel easier with Ally because she's a bit shorter than you. Just bring me in slower."

It took a lot more head butting and tripping before I finally got the hang of it. Before we got the chance to practice the full thing properly, Ally's name flashed across my phone screen. I instantly remembered that we had dinner plans tonight and I was running late. 

"I have to go."

"You did good today. On the day you're going to be nervous both because you don't want to mess up in front of everyone and because you want to be good for Ally. So when you start getting nervous, just focus on Ally, let her guide you." 

"Thank you Ali. See you tomorrow."

---

I couldn't believe in just over three hours I would be married to the love of my life. I was excited beyond belief, but I was also incredibly nervous. What if I wasn't a good wife? What if Ally changed her mind and decided she didn't want to get married anymore? What if we didn't work as a married couple?

I knew it was just me overthinking. Ally and I worked well together. We loved each other deeply, we connected and understood each other, we had fun. Maybe it was cheesy, but we were made for each other. Not just because we met and connected instantly. We worked hard to get where we were, we worked hard to keep our relationship working despite our busy schedules, distance, and my issues with my ADHD. I tried to remember that as my thoughts went crazy, but it wasn't working. Ali was updating me on the set up and preparations, I couldn't focus on anything she was saying though. I was too busy overthinking.

"Y/n, Y/n!"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"I-I-I c-can't do this," I stammered, before running out of the house, Ali calling after me. I didn't stop until I found a hidden part of the beach where I slumped in the sand, tears falling down my cheeks. I don't know how long had passed when someone sat down behind me, arms wrapping around my waist and chin resting on my shoulder. Without even looking, I knew it was Ally, the softness of the way she held me and the smell of her hair gave it away. She didn't say anything for a while, just held me until the tears stopped.

Ally kissed my temple, hands drawing soothing patterns across my stomach. They weren't the soft touches most people find soothing, those touches made my sensory issues worse. There was a little bit more force behind it, making me relax against her. Sitting here with Ally, I realised that I was being stupid, there was no doubt that I was going to marry her today. Instead of being angry that I had ran away, she was here comforting me. "We can postpone if you don't want to do this, if you're having second thoughts about getting married. I understand, I know it was quick."

I quickly turned around, accidently knocking Ally over. "Shit sorry." I helped her so she was sitting again before kissing her softly, "No, no, we're not postponing. I want to marry you Ally, I'm going to marry you today, go to bed calling you my wife. I'm sorry I ran, I got stuck in my head, overthinking this, overthinking if I would even be a good wife, if you even still wanted to marry me, but didn't want to tell me and I freaked out."

"Baby, I want to marry you more than anything in this world, that hasn't changed and it won't ever change. You're are an amazing girlfriend Y/n, you're going to be an amazing wife. We're going to keep being the best couple there is and getting married is only going to strengthen that. I love you, I love you so much."

"I love you Ally. Can we stay here for a while?"

"We can stay here as long as you need. Ali's going to take care of the set up and everything. When you're ready we can go back and get ready for the first look."

I settled back between Ally's legs, back against her front as I watched the water, feeling more relaxed than I had all day, "I can't wait, you're going to look incredible."

"So are you Y/n/n."

Ally and I had decided to do the outfit reveals before the ceremony because I knew I wouldn't be able to control my emotions once I saw her. So here I was waiting anxiously for the love of my life to step around the corner. I was nervous about Ally's thoughts on my suit, but I was more anxious to finally see what Ally was wearing. Just as I was starting to get impatient, there she was. I froze, tears starting to fall instantly, I crouched down for a second, face buried in my hands to control the tears.

The sleeveless blue dress lined with lace, the black flats, her hair half up in a braid with the rest loose. She looked incredible, more breathtaking then I could have ever imagined. Ally stopped in front of me, small smile present with eyes shining with love and unshed tears. I took her hand, spinning her around so I could admire everything about her. Ally looked amazing on any given day, but today I was absolutely speechless.

"Y-y-yo-u-" I cut myself off, taking a deep breath to get myself together, "Y-you look breathtaking Ally, absolutely incredible. Holy shit."

Ally grinned, cupping my cheeks and connecting our lips. I heard protests about messing up Ally's make up, but I didn't care. Ally pulled away, this time being the one to take my hand and spin me around, she let out a long breath, making me slightly nervous, "Fuck you look stunning baby, my god you look incredible. I know it's probably out of your comfort zone, but you should definitely wear maroon more often, it is definitely your colour."

"I almost didn't choose it because it's not what I normally wear, but I decided to step out of my comfort zone for once."

Ally laced her fingers with mine, "I'm so proud of you love."

"Alright guys it's almost time to seal the deal so it's photo time," Alex interrupted as Ally was leaning in to kiss me. 

I groaned pulling away, "You couldn't have waited 2 seconds? We already had photos."

"And have you ruin her make up? No, you can do that after the photos. You had photos of your reveal, we want proper couple photos."

---

It was time. It was time to marry the love of my life. Of course I was nervous, incredibly so, but as the time came to walk down the aisle, most of my nerves were replaced with excitement. I was about to marry my person and there was nothing in this world I wanted more. We had decided I was going to go first, purely for the reason that I was dying to watch her walk down aisle. There was no better way to do that, then be standing at the end already.

We had gone pretty simple with decorations. The aisle was made out of various coloured petals, lined with rows of chairs and a wooden arch draped with white fabric at the end. String lights were strung around the trees, fence and patio. The chairs would later be replaced by outdoor furniture and bean bags. Long tables for food and the bar were set up, as well as a smore station for when the firepit was lit. We had made sure to hire a bartender to stop anyone getting out of control. 

Also, while we had hired a photographer, we also had a bunch of polaroid and disposable cameras for everyone to take their own photos. That way we had more intimate and fun memories. We had found a guest book that had mini envelopes and note cards so people could leave little messages if they chose to. The envelopes were the best idea knowing how inappropriate some of the team could be.  

Dance with me in the rain In the heart of Spain Let your hair fall down Curl around your face And sway with the tide Of the strangers passing us by

My arm linked with Ali's, her squeezing mine gently. Our friends and family lined the sides, huge smiles and some with tears in their eyes. My heart warmed knowing they were willing to be here, that they cared enough to make plans last minute to see us get married. 

Well let them watch What do we care There's no need to rush To come up for air As the world spins around us we dive In each other's eyes

No I don't want to go Can't seem to leave you alone For all that I am I wouldn't stand a chance This life on my own So love me now Love me forever Love me today and the days we're not together A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one The one my heart beats for

Land light on my feet To not make a peep Tip toe across the room So the floors don't creak As you're laying in bed Perfectly sound asleep I'll wake you with a kiss So you do not miss Your morning cup of coffee Pressed against your lips As the sun warms us up through the blinds We turn back the time

We stopped at the end, Ali kissing my cheek before walking back to her spot. I waited for a few seconds, trying not to fidget for once in my life. Every second that went by, made me want to walk back down grab her and drag her back because she was taking too long. Ally finally appeared, arm linked with her dad who had a huge, proud smile. There was a time in our relationship where I never thought he would be happy about us getting married. We had a rocky start, but now they were family. They had taken me in, treated me as if I was their own daughter. Between Ally, her family and the team, I had never been so loved.

No I don't want to go Can't seem to leave you alone For all that I am I wouldn't stand a chance This life on my own So love me now Love me forever Love me today and the days we're not together A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one The one my heart beats for No I don't want to go Can't seem to leave you alone For all that I am I wouldn't stand a chance This life on my own

They stopped in front of me, Ally's dad pulling her in for a hug and kiss on the cheek before moving to hug me, "You look amazing Y/n."

He moved back to his spot, while I took Ally's hands, kissing her cheek softly. We stood there, just looking at each other as the song came to an end. There was so much love shining in her eyes that it made my knees go weak. 

So love me now Love me forever Love me today and the days we're not together A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one The one my heart beats for

We had chosen to have Sydney officiate our wedding just as she had with Ali and Ashlyn. It made the day feel just that little bit more personal. Once everyone was seated and quiet, Sydney started speaking.

"Thank you everyone for being here today to celebrate the marriage of our amazing Y/n and Ally. We all know Y/n gets antsy when she has to stand still for too long so we'll keep this as brief as possible. The relationship between Y/n and Ally is so full of love, life and friendship. It puts even the best of us to shame. With that being said, Y/n and Ally have chosen to write their own vows. Ally you're up."

"There are so many things I want to say to you, but we would be here all day if I did. So instead I'll start with thank you. Thank you for choosing me, for letting me in and trusting me with you and your heart. For trusting me enough to be your person and to show me who you are inside and out. With that, I vow to you that I will always tressure your love. I will always be by your side when you need me, I will always be there to hold you up when you need it and support you with everything I am. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you now and I will love you forever."

"Okay, you'll have to bare with me because there's no doubt I'm going to cry." There were a few laughs as Ally squeezed my hand. "There was a time in my life when I never thought this would happen for me. Where I never thought I would find someone who loves and trusts me so unconditionally, who understands me so deeply and who makes me laugh uncontrollably. Then you came crashing into my life, flipping it upside down in the best way possible. 

"You are my world Ally, my everything. I am far from perfect, but I promise to always be open and honest even on days that aren't great, to always support you in everything you do, to make you smile and laugh even when you don't feel like it. I promise to hold you, cuddle you and kiss you every chance I get because I know how much you love it. Most importantly I promise to love you with everything I am everyday for the rest of our lives."

My voice cracked as I pulled her closer, cupping her cheek and kissing her forehead, "You are my partner in life and love. I love you beyond what words can describe, I love the person I have become with you and the life we have and will continue to build."

"Now the rings. Ally, do you take Y/n to be your wife?"

Ally smiled widely, "I do."

I slipped the ring on her finger before letting her take my hand, "Y/n, do you take Ally to be your wife?"

"I do."

Ally slipped the ring on my finger, kissing it after she did so. If even possible, my smile grew as I stopped myself from fidgeting with excitement. One final sentence and Ally would be my wife. 

"It is my pleasure to pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

My arm wrapped around her waist, the other cupping her head as I dipped her, lips connecting in a long, passionate kiss. Everyone cheered and clapped as I threw my hands up, "We're married bitches!!"

---

"We would like to welcome the newlyweds to the floor for their first dance."

Ally looked confused, but let me take her hand and guide her to the dance floor. Just like Ali showed me, I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her against me and taking her hand in mine. Ally smiled, pecking my lips before resting her head on my shoulder as we moved around slowly. As we danced around, watched by our closest family and friends, I was the happiest I had ever been. To have so many people come to celebrate with us at last minute, I felt loved, possibly more than I ever had.

After a couple of minutes, I successfully spun Ally around, bringing her into me and connecting our lips. My head landed against Ally's shoulder, kissing the bare skin softly, "We're married Ally, we're actually married."

Ally giggled, kissing my temple, "Best day of my life so far. You learnt how to dance."

"You wanted to have a first dance so I got Ali to teach me. You make so many compromises for me, I wanted you to have this."

"This is how I know we'll be good married, you're so thoughtful and sweet, you go out of your comfort zone for me with out a second thought. I love you."

"I love you more my wife."

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #woso imagines #woso x reader

[luveline]

ZOMBIE AU YES steve and you but reluctant allies - forced to travel together and when you get stuck in a tight spot, you fully believe he's going to leave you behind. but steve does what he does best, he comes back

tysm for ur request! reluctant friends to lovers arc starts now. tw for zombie typical gore, violence + apocalypse struggles (near enoigh starvation, weight loss, isolation) this got longer than it was meant to

It's not that you don't like Steve. Though maybe that's what he thinks. He doesn't seem to like you all that much.

Steve Harrington is pretty. He's a pretty boy. You hadn't expected him to be able to fight or defend, or even run all that fast. He'd proved you wrong on each account eventually — "I ran track, idiot," — but the reluctance of your pairing has remained.

You can't like everyone. You and Steve simply don't fit. You didn't in high school and you don't now, and you know in reality that he doesn't like you. Not really. He tolerates you and he shares with you because you have more chance of surviving together than apart.

He searches the waste of Indiana for his friends. You follow. You have nothing else to do.

You're scouring for supplies in a mall not unlike the Starcourt in Hawkins. You imagine it's as desolate and derelict as this one. Escalators frozen in time, storefronts destroyed by time. Dangerous. There's a thousand places for a zombie to be dwelling. They aren't good at hiding, obviously, but you're also not good at finding them. Steve says you have poor observational skills.

"Yes, well, I'd hardly have any reason to need them if it weren't for the end of the world," you mutter.

"Why do you talk like that?"

"Like what?" you ask with a scowl.

"Like- like a rich girl. A really rich girl."

"I don't sound anything like you."

"Weak insult based in sexism. Next."

You drop the shirt you'd been looking at. "Right, I forgot. Steve Harrington, King of Hawkins High, progressive."

He meets your gaze and smiles at you. He does this, sometimes, where he forgets he doesn't like you. Then something happens, a disagreement or an argument, and you're back to square one, Steve and his burden.

"I'm very progressive." He looks between you and the shirt he's holding, a men's cut, plain with long sleeves. It looks warm. "I think this'll fit. Come here."

You step over a fallen mannequin and let him hold the shirt to your abdomen.

"You're losing weight," he murmurs.

"Lucky me."

His hand touches your shoulder and he draws very close. "Bad news."

"I had it to lose."

"You need all the help you can get." He doesn't bother saying why. You're both more than aware of how dire the food situation is getting. If you can't find anything worth eating here, you're probably fucked. You might be fine. (You're fucked.)

You take the shirt. "Do you think it's silly to put it on now?"

"Definitely. I'll turn around."

He turns. You put your bag on the floor and quickly take off your outerwear. Your shirt smells bad because you smell worse, the strong smell of sweat no matter how much you scrub at it lingering. The fabric is imbued with a permanent odour.

New t-shirt in place, you preen at the feeling of new cotton over your skin.

"Are you done?"

"No-"

"Hurry. We need to move."

You always 'need to move'. You think Steve says it to sound cool.

You pull your clothes back on and hang your backpack from your aching shoulders. Over time, the bag feels heavier. Funny, as it's contents constantly lighten.

"We haven't found anything for you yet," you say.

Your shirt had needed replacing, it was thin and stained with a seam slowly unthreading. Steve's pants are worse. The zip is tied closed with a hair tie and the cuffs are pulling apart.

Steve reveals a pair he'd already set aside. "Tada."

"Put them on!"

"Sheesh, hold your horses."

"You could've been changing while I was. You always nag about wasting daylight."

"And leave us both defenseless. Good idea." His tone suggests a genuineness he doesn't possess.

You stand guard. Steve changes. You have that intrusive thought to turn and look at the sound of his belt unbuckling, the shucking of fabric. Intrusive, unreal. You don't look because you're not a pervert. You do, however, wonder about it. His naked legs, his thighs.

You shake your head and bite the inside of your lip to stave off bad thoughts. Stupid.

"Let's go."

Out of the clothing store and back to the walkways. You and Steve skulk with your backs to each other and some space between you, watching the open shutters for zombies or other people. You don't know which is scarier.

The mall is wrecked. Smashed glass, mysterious liquids, no electricity. Daylight streams in bright and unhindered by the huge skylights above. Nature struggles to fall in with it, but it does. Birds nest in the rafters, bugs cling to the walls. You suppress chills at the scuttling sounds of vermin and almost trip over an upended rack of stuffies outside of the toy store.

"You okay?" Steve asks. You don't know if he's looking at you, your eyes pinned on the stairwell across the way. Accidental or otherwise, making noise is a signal to the zombies that you're here.

If there's anybody here, they definitely would've heard you.

You don't answer Steve's question. He doesn't ask again.

"There's, like, a hot pretzel stand to the right," he says, intrigued.

You check what's in front of you one last time and then catch up to Steve. You'd love to take his arm, not because you think he'd let you or anything, but it's easy to miss touching people and he's right there in front of you.

"Under the shutter," he says quietly.

You crawl under and emerge in the dark. Steve joins you with his torch already in hand, flashing light quickly in all four corners of the room.

"This might be a bad idea," you whisper.

"It's okay. I doubt zombies can crawl."

"If they can?"

Predictably, Steve ignores you.

He weaves between untouched chairs and tables. You catch onto the end of his shirt and he's generous enough to pretend you haven't, the two of you making your way to the front counter. There might've been edible food behind the glass once but now it's all infested. It's disgusting.

You've seen a lot worse.

"That's gross," Steve says.

You tap the display and a dead fly falls off of the glass.

"Lift the counter?" you whisper.

You make your way to the employees only door. "Be careful," he reminds you under his breath, "be quiet. You have your knife out?"

"Got it."

He throws the door open quick and looks around. There's a walk-in freezer to the left, an old couch in the middle, and a storage area to the right. Steve again checks each corner with the flashlight, the both of you holding your breath. You're holding the knife so tightly you can feel each divot of the grip moulding your skin.

"I think we're clear."

"I think we need another torch," you mumble.

It's really scary in the dark.

"They'll have batteries somewhere," Steve says. You think he might be humouring your fear. He's likely tired of having to reassure you.

Again, you grab his shirt. It's too dark to navigate the room without him.

Steve leads you to the staff kitchenette, opening the cabinets one by one. There's mugs in one, plates in another. Untouched by dust.

He has you hold the torch while he searches through drawers of kitchen tools and equipment.

"Do you miss pretzels?" you ask.

"Mm. With the cinnamon sugar."

"You like cinnamon?"

He pushes aside what looks like an ice cube tray of all things and finds an old key. He offers it to you with a peculiar smile, as if to say What do you think that does?

"Everyone likes cinnamon," he says.

"Not everybody."

"Everybody I knew did. Robin fucking loves cinnamon. At Christmas, she'd make me take her out for warm cinnamon cookies and... frozen cokes." His tone had started soft. It ends strangled.

"Frozen cokes? In winter? Isn't that sorta weird?" you ask.

He shuts the drawer harshly and doesn't answer. Your attempt to cut the tension backfires once again with him. Who could've guessed.

The next drawer is a motherlode.

"Yes," you say, cheeks taken by a sudden smile.

There's enough batteries to power your torch for a year. Steve tears open the packet and holds a hand up without looking at you. You scramble to open your bag and pull out your torch. Bigger and heavier than his is, it illuminates larger spaces and makes for less nerve-wracking supply runs, but it eats batteries like no tomorrow.

Steve cracks open your proffered torch and loads it up with batteries. The light flickers on before he's put the closing back into place.

He shines it straight in your eyes.

"Nice," you grumble.

"Now you got your own you can quit clinging," he says. "Why don't you go look in the freezer?"

"It'll all be spoiled. There hasn't been electricity in forever."

"Might find a can of something," he says with a shrug.

"If you want me to leave you alone, just say that."

"I want you to leave me alone."

You huff and spin away. Your torch shines over the couch, an ugly mess of floral pattern that went out of fashion a decade ago but is surprisingly new for a staff room. You drop yourself into it and stare at the ceiling for a while, dust motes drifting in the ray of torch light like snowflakes. You haven't seen snow in a long enough time that you're surprised you can remember what it feels like. If you close your eyes, stick out your tongue, a cold like ice feels sharp on your taste buds.

Steve cusses to himself. You sit up and find him sucking on an injured finger.

"Need help?" you ask.

He sticks his knife into the top of a cardboard box. "What did I tell you? Go look in the freezer."

"Steve, there's not gonna be anything in there."

"I worked in a place like this before. Just look."

You roll your eyes, feel super guilty about rolling your eyes, and then roll your eyes again when he says, "Don't be lazy."

"I'm not," you defend. Your whining falls on deaf ears.

The freezer door handle is fucked. You pull and pull until your palms burn and can't get it to unlock. Changing tactics, you press all of your weight forward and feel something click like it's not supposed to. The door crashes forward and you fall to one knee with a startled shriek.

Your heart slams between your ribs. When you're trying to be hypervigilant of every small sound, every movement, every change in your environment, sudden events are like a shot of adrenaline.

You land on one hand. Your torch flickers further in the room.

"Fuck," you mutter.

"What happened?" Steve asks, his footsteps fast and moving toward you.

You scramble forward to grab the torch before he can see you've broken it. You're ashamed at your own idiocy — you burn with it, a flush of heat in your cheeks that. Steve won't lie to you to make you feel better, so if the torch is broken he's gonna call you an idiot for it.

"Nothing!" you call.

The smell hits you like a freight train. Spoiled milk. Shelves and shelves of spoiled milk and batter. You gag and throw a hand over your nose. It smells almost as bad as a zombie, and they smell like fresh hell.

"Y/N," Steve says.

You throw your eyes over your shoulder and realise the door has closed behind you. There's a sound of a jiggling door handle on the other side. From your side it doesn't move.

A sinking feeling begins.

"Steve," you say, hitting your torch against your thigh. The light flickers off completely. You gawp.

"Can you open the door?"

You push your weight against it urgently. The handle doesn't want to move.

"I can't get it," you say, panicked.

"Push it inward."

"I am!"

"Okay, alright. Hold your horses."

"Steve, it won't open."

"I heard you the first time. Don't worry. I'm gonna get it open."

You throw yourself at the door. Steve must guess from the sound. "Stop," he says, frustration seeping into his low tenor, "that's not gonna work. It's hinged inward. Stand back, okay? I'm gonna force it."

"It's dark in here," you murmur pleadingly, moving away from the door.

"What?"

Your own fast breathing echoes around you. You hit the torch with the meat of your palm and the light flickers. You hit it again and it dissapears. You shouldn't be so scared, but the door closed means your trapped and the dark feels so oppressive now. Dark means you die, because you won't see a zombie before it bites you.

You realise that there's more than one person breathing.

Or rather, an illusion of breathing. A moan.

Your blood turns to ice as you spin. Your torchlight flicker flicker flickers, illuminating the face of somebody long dead.

"Oh my god," you say. It sticks to your throat like each word has been dipped in honey. Or ichor. "Fuck, Steve! Steve!"

"What?" he shouts back, equally freaked.

One eye opens. The other remains closed. One second, you can see the open socket, half an eyeball. The next, pitch darkness filled only by the grind of clicking teeth. Your breath catches in your throat and you keen as you walk backwards, the torch shaking in your hand.

The light flicks back on with your movement.

The zombie's face appears in front of yours.

You scream and fall flat on your butt, backpack preventing you from slamming onto your back. The torch turns off. You scrabble for your knife — where the fuck is your knife? Where's your knife?

Steve hammers against the door. "What the fuck?"

"There's a fucking geek in here!" you squeal, throat tight. You can barely get the words out. The zombie can't see you in the dark but it can hear you, it can smell you, and it's footsteps draw closer, one after another.

"Steve, get me out of here!" you beg.

He doesn't answer.

"Steve?" You don't sound like yourself. You're not sure you've ever made this sound before.

Nothing.

Your hands shake hard. You can't feel them as you bring the torch into your lap. You try to find the catch in the dark. When you can't you mess with the lens, screwing it tight to the right. You feel it move in, spinning back on.

The light exposes the zombies gained distance. He towers over you and you can't speak, can't breathe, can't sob. You hold your arms in front of your face and hope it won't hurt.

The door slams open. You get pushed roughly into the zombie's legs, the breath knocked from your chest.

You crumple in on yourself.

Footsteps slide with a rubber screech over the linoleum and you search the floor for your torch, breath coming in shirt pants. Your hand closes around it and you flick the switch with little success. Broken again. You must've loosened a fuse.

"Steve," you say desperately. Please don't die.

The zombie makes a noise like retching, Steve groans in extertion and then there's a sound of wetness, a sinking. A body falls to the floor.

Silence.

You flinch as he turns on his torch and shines it in your face.

"Oh, thank god."

Steve leans down and helps you up into his arms. You struggle to catch your breath, your face pressed hard into his chest. You can't cry though you desperately want to, too busy fighting for air.

Steve holds you, hands at your back. "It's okay. You got it, dummy, just take it slow."

You nod. You can't really focus as he pulls you out of the freezer. The air noticeably changes from brain matter to plain old stale.

"I thought you-" You swallow against an aching throat. "I thought you were gonna leave me."

"Why would you think that?" Steve asks.

"I was- I-" you stammer to a halt.

Your arms move of their own accord, over his shoulders and behind. You hide your face in the crook of his neck, hot tears spreading over his skin as you pull him in close, as close as you can.

Steve's hand is slow at first, hesitant against your shoulder. Your backpack stops him from hugging you properly, but you think maybe he might try otherwise.

"I wouldn't have left you here," he says.

There's hints. Confusion, sincerity. A rawness. You can't see his face, his torch pointed up at the ceiling, only where the light kisses his brow, the bridge of his nose.

Steve let's you cling until you've caught your breath.

"Let's sit down," he says.

He encourages you onto the old couch and shoves his small torch between the cushions. You miss his touch as soon as he leaves, an anxiety at being left alone dawns like a yawning chasm between you. Your relief when he returns can't be understated: you feel like a spent, abused nerve.

Cortisol and adrenaline crash through your veins. All that's left to do is come down. Hard, when you don't feel completely safe. Haven't felt completely safe in a long time. Steve's return helps.

"Don't touch the rim. It's sharp," he says, pressing an open can into your hand.

"Steve, is this-"

He passes you a spoon. "Sure is."

You don't have the luxury of nausea. Life or death situations start to wear off quicker when you're hungry, half-starved, and after a few good mouthfuls of pudding you're starting to feel better. Not perfect, not any less afraid, but there's a door between you and the zombie's dead dead body, and a door with a chair propped under the handle between you and the rest of the world. And there's Steve, a spoon between his lips with your poor torch in hand.

"You left your knife on the table. Do you know how stupid that is?" he asks, a spoon hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Yes."

"Hm." He whacks the torch with his spoon. "Shit."

"I'm sorry."

"About the knife? You should be. You were totally defenseless."

"The torch."

He puts your torch down on the floor besides your gathered things. "Couldn't be helped."

"How'd you open the door?"

"Running start."

You sniffle and eat another spoonful of pudding. The last thing you'd eaten was half a gronala bar in the early hours of the morning when Steve had insisted you'd need your energy. It had been a year out of date and chalk in your mouth. The pudding may as well be straight molten gold for how valuable it feels.

It goes down soft. Calms your aching throat. By the time you've finished you almost feel settled. Almost.

"Steve... I'm sorry. For thinking you'd leave me. That's not fair. I mean, I know-" Why is it hard to talk to him? He's the only perosn you've had for company in God knows how long and you're still fumbling for the right thing to say. "You wouldn't do something like that to me. You have morals."

"I would do anything for my friends," he says, like he's disagreeing. "I would do anything to see them again. See them safe. Anything."

You bite your tongue. Tears sting. Hypocritical tears, because haven't you had that thought before? You'd do anything to get what you want. You'd do anything to live. Steve doesn't owe you anything.

"I didn't think you'd come back," you confess sheepishly.

"I'm always gonna come back for you."

You look up at him, finding his eyes illuminated in the dim light sweet and soft and brown.

"I want you to be safe."

"Are you saying I'm your friend?" you ask.

He glares at you. "Are we in middle school?"

"What?"

"What do you mean, what? What, I have to invite you to my birthday party or something? We need to go rollerblading together?"

"You're an asshole."

He snorts. "Asshole just saved your life."

"I didn't even wanna go in there, if you remember. I expressly said that I didn't wanna go in the freezer. It's your fault I was even in there in the first place."

"That's ridiculous. And a low blow. And fuck you."

"Not very friendly."

He laughs abruptly. It's a pretty sound, made golden by it's genuineness. Steve does sarcastic snickers and mocking chuckles, and none have ever sounded as his true laugh does now.

"I'll show you friendly," he mutters.

You raise your eyebrows. He moves enough to make the couch shift, upheaving your empty can and spoon. They fall together with a metallic clinking.

You watch mournfully. "I kind of wish I hadn't eaten it that fast. When's the last time we had sugar?"

"Don't speak too soon."

Steve shows you the stash. An entire box of pudding, enough to feed you both for a month, though the sugar might rot your teeth.

"We'll be sick of it in a week," Steve promises.

You're not so sure. Chocolate is chocolate, whether it's eaten during the zombie apocalypse or not.

-

more steve zombie!au

#steve harrington imagine #zombie!au #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic #stranger things #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x gn!reader #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic #steve zombie!au

[youreirrelevant]

Skyglow

pairing: kendall roy/reader

summary: “I want you to take care of me.” That makes him ache. Fills him with that heavy, hot feeling- the one you get when something’s a little wrong.

words: 1787

tags: explicit, sickfic, daddy kink, praise kink, but also a little degradation kink, pwp, established relationship, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, playful sex, like the tiniest bit of fluff, implied age gap, there's really nothing that establishes when this is so

a/n: I started writing this when I was sick a few weeks ago and I thought I'd finish it. It's just for fun. It's a little silly. It doesn't all have to be serious or good.

It always felt like a waste, to stay in bed all day. Somehow scrolling through your phone in the living room seemed more productive than if you did it in bed. You barely even had the energy to do that. Left thinking. Wanting. Always find your mind wandering to him and what he can do for you. A warm, soft place to rest your hands. Press your lips against.

A deep voice to coax you through what his cock brings out of you— 

But the exhaustion was bone-deep. Bending a finger, lifting an eyelid- both felt nearly impossible. Even while lying down you felt weak, like you couldn’t get deep enough into the pillow, into the mattress. You needed to pool and bubble out; water spilled on the counter. 

The door opening wakes you from what must’ve been the fifth nap of the day. You were in a guest room- you didn’t want to get Kendall sick. He had shit to do, things that were “unmissable.” 

It’s dark. You can see out of the window from the bed; the sky is blue-black, a yellow edge on the horizon that fades up into it. Planes blink red and white across it. Only some of the windows in the other buildings are lit, and you wonder how late it really is. It's quiet; you can hear the AC running. The apartment is thrumming with a sleepy energy, like the way voices sound when you’re dozing off- blurred and smoothed at the edges.

“Can I, uh, can I sleep with you?”

You mumble that he can, voice croaky and gone. Scooting further in on the bed to make room for him- every joint aching so badly you almost whimper. He wraps his arm around you, kisses the back of your neck, and breathes. The heat on your skin makes you melt. 

“I couldn’t sleep without you in there with me.”

He brings you a little closer, for emphasis.

“I’d like to say the same, but I’m exhausted.”

A little huff of air from him, an affectionate smile you can’t see. Another kiss, right along your hairline. 

You both lay there for a while, but you don’t fall back asleep. The thoughts are much worse when he’s flush against you, firm thighs and a softer chest. His arms around you- you want him to use them to pull you down over him. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping? You said you’re tired.” He sounds groggy, as if maybe he’d fallen asleep, for just a second. 

“I know I was just- I was thinking of this,” you giggle a little, “of this tweet. Where this guy said that pussy, when someone has a fever, is crazy because it’s so hot.”

He grins so wide it hurts his face.

“Is this your way of, uh, telling me you want me to fuck you?”

“I mean- we gotta at least find out for ourselves.”

Kendall slips his hand beneath the waistband of your pajamas, uses the pads of his fingers to guide your leg up, to drape over his leg. He’s surprised to find you so wet, skin scorching against his. Wonders how long you were thinking about it. Rubs your clit slowly, and you’re practically boneless already. But then fingertips work down, towards your cunt, and you tense in anticipation. He knows you’re sick; he should be nice. But he can’t help but tease, doing it a few times until you whine his name. 

“You need it that bad?”

“Please- ” you sound kind of annoyed, as if his denial doesn’t warm you.

His clothes are moved just enough, but he grips the waistband of your pants to yank them down as far as he can from his position- he wants to get at you fully. They get stuck above your knees, and you huff and whine as you kick them free clumsily. Kendall’s undeterred, puts you back where you were. Presses in easily, and maybe they were right. Your groan is distant in his ears. When he’s seated fully, he rests his forehead against your shoulder.

“Well?”

“It- it is hotter. It could be, uh-,” he makes a muffled sound, like he’s steadying himself, “be in my head, though. Placebo effect, or something.”

You can’t help but laugh a little, the noise scraping out of you so badly he almost couldn’t tell what it was.

“You’re ridiculous. You’ve been asleep all day, I come in to sleep with you and you want me to fuck you.”

“I want you to take care of me.”

That makes him fucking ache. Fills him with that heavy, hot feeling- the one you get when something’s a little wrong. He places a big hand on the back of your thigh, slides it up to lift your ass cheek, spread you open. 

“Like, a daddy thing, or-?”

Oh… man.

“I don’t know if we- if we have to be so- if we need to go quite that far.”

As soon as you say it you’re prepared to recant. It makes your stomach fill with butterflies and warmth but it seems so much more taboo than other things that people would actually consider worse. So heavily stigmatized, something everyone knew about and mocked. His teeth press into your shoulder, like he’s squeezing it out of you. 

“Well- it does sound… kind of hot. Maybe we ease into it? Maybe ‘daddy’ doesn’t have to be said, but implied?”

His hand slips over your hip to rest on your lower stomach, a slow pull and push of his hips as his fingers find your clit again. Not wasting any time.

“You want me to ‘take care’ of you?”

Plush lips slide beneath your ear as he speaks, and every inflection and hard consonant fills you with heat. It’s your words, but from his mouth, it sounds good and perfect and right. His voice is soothing in this condescending way and it makes your lashes flutter.

“Yes, Kendall.”

He uses his palm against your pubic bone to pull you close, allow him to get deeper, fuck a little rougher. Insistent. You reach behind you to grab at his waist, fingers fisting in the soft fabric of his t-shirt. Your voice is fucked- every moan and whimper is broken and raspy and quiet. He kind of likes it, drags his lips over your neck, laughing affectionately when his finger presses harder, rubs at just the right angle, against just the right side and you cry out hoarsely. Barely able to keep your eyes open before but you want him so fucking bad. 

It’s like you’re next to a fire; you can practically see a red glow coming from your skin, penetrating your closed eyelids. You’re limp, melted into the smooth sheets, rolling weakly against him when you really need it. His brows pinch and his jaw falls open with a desperate noise before his lip is tucked beneath his teeth. Kendall props himself up on his elbow, fingers slipping into your hair, damp from sweat, turns your head enough to kiss you. So slack and pliant. You don't even think to stop him. 

“Does that feel better? Is this what you needed?” 

Jesus. It’s as if your brain is already fried- you’re already gone. Making some noise that’s probably the saddest attempt at an ‘mhmm,’ ever been done. Trembling, pulled tighter, breathing ragged and uneven and burning in your chest and throat. He brushes the tip of his nose over your temple- his own breath puffs rapid and hot against you.  Grunting when you grip even tighter. 

When you cum, it's so good it hurts. Like massaging a sore muscle, or fingers into your cheeks when your sinuses ache. It seeps into your hips and belly and back and you lean into it, into him. He shushes you and you can’t help but let out this startled ‘ god .’ You want to tell him he feels perfect, fucking perfect, but the words don’t come out. His pace doesn’t falter -no matter how snug and plush and slick you are around him- and it makes it seem like it’s lasting forever. 

Kendall thinks it’s lasting forever; you’re over a cliffside, on the other end of a rope, trying to pull him down when he has to keep you up. He makes sounds like he’s struggling; when you finally relax, he sounds relieved. 

Part of him wants to keep it up, and he can’t help, for a second, seeing the new ease with which his fingers slip over you, pressing three flat against your labia to make you squirm from the sensitivity. But that doesn’t last long, arm moving to wrap around your waist to hold you in place. Insistent. 

You’re awash with fatigue, fingers curling around the edge of your pillow, lids low over your eyes. Each time his hips meet your ass you make these pathetic little noises from the impact, sometimes barely even audible. He grabs your face again to turn you toward him- you feel hot, cheeks flushed to show it. Skin around your eyes, shiny, blueish, almost cartoonish. But you look up at him dutifully.

“You’re so pretty when you take it for me.”

That reignites something in you, makes you moan and grab at him.

“Such a pretty, perfect little girl deserves to feel good. Always desperate to cum on my cock- thinking about it when you can barely fucking think.”

You let out something between a gasp and a laugh, stunned. Thrown against the ledge but you can’t go over until you get that little bit more. 

“I- Ken, can you- would you-?”

This is how it always goes- just one more. Kendall gives it to you and goes to get his, but it always puts you right there, and he can’t help but oblige. He wants to tell you to do it yourself, because you’re tired, and maybe you won’t get off and you’ll get frustrated and whine. That makes him feel orange-hot and tingly, makes his hips stutter at the thought. But that’s not what this was tonight. The wide pad of his middle finger is tight against you -swollen, slick- and even with how fast you cum, he cums faster, hips so rough against yours that you whimper and wince.

He’s almost as light-headed as you are, almost as lax, weak. Every inch of you is unbearably heavy; it's like your skin could slough off your face. It’s so good.

“I might bring a whole new, literal level to sleeping like the dead.”

Your voice cracks and you slump forward onto your stomach, keeping your face turned from him.

“At least you’ll feel better.” Smiling softly, rubbing your back.

“You’ll join me shortly, since you fucking kissed me.”

#kendall roy #kendall roy/reader #kendall roy x reader #succession hbo #succession fic #succession #reader insert #ig i'll make a masterlist or a tag for my fics or something tomorrow #my writing

[sturnmad]

nick sturniolo x ftm!reader

um i wrote this for @hbpr1nce . it was meant to be a short little fluffy drabble but spiraled into a 2.6k+ friends-to-lovers monstrosity. idk

be aware my writing style is very different than most sturniolo x reader authors on this app. i use second person & generally avoid the use of y/n (I'd rather use an oc name if absolutely necessary). it's also really like... plot-y? reader-centric? i didn't even mean for that to happen. honestly this feels like a prequel, i might write a sequel.

also i forgor the exact timeline of Nick's coming out so i just winged it lmao

summary: you're nick sturniolo's childhood friend, basically follows you realizing you're a trans man w nick supporting you the whole time, + ur eventual getting together. angst+fluff, no smut.

warnings: romantic nick x ftm!reader, transphobia, body image/self-esteem issues, I'm posting w minimal editing so beware, uhhh thats it i think?

Nick's always been your biggest supporter.

He's one of your first friends, because in 3rd grade he's the only one who stands up to the teacher when she tries to send you to the office for something you didn't do. You remember it distinctly: Nick literally red in the face from all the yelling, Matt trying to calm him down.

Nick doesn't remember it at all, but you do, and you've been his friend ever since.

He's the first to understand you, back when you thought you just hated everything about yourself. You hated your hair, so you cut it off. You hated your body, so you covered it up.

You hated your name, too, but there was no real solution to that.

It’s just so flowery, you'd complain with a wrinkled nose. So common. It didn't fit your face. Maybe that was why you avoided mirrors (it wasn't, but you didn't know that at the time either).

On what must be the thousandth time you complain of it, Nick rolls his eyes and says, “Just change it.”

“What?”

He waves a hand. “Just go by a nickname or something. Change it legally when you're older, if you want.”

Huh. For some reason that never occurred to you.

You cycle through a few nicknames, mostly just shortenings of your first and middle names, but none of those feel right either. Again, it's Nick that solves the issue, suggesting a few names until he lands on one that just… fits.

When you ask your other friends to call you by it, one of them asks, “Isn't that a boy’s name?”

He doesn't say it rudely or anything. You freeze anyway, because again, you didn't think about that, and again, Nick comes to your rescue. “It's gender neutral, dumbass,” he says good-naturedly. Your friend laughs and the moment passes by.

(You don’t notice, but Nick watches you closely from the corner of his eye. He looks like a theory was just confirmed.)

A few months after you change your name, you hear some kids talking in the hall about a trans student, saying—well. Nothing good.

Your hands go numb. Your stomach churns violently, and for the life of you, you can't figure out why. Obviously it’s shitty of them to say that, but high school is awful and you've overheard worse without freaking out over it.

You dismiss it as a freak coincidence.

Your anxiety gets worse, and quarantine doesn't help. Your parents are especially paranoid about the virus, so you barely leave your house.

There are up-sides, though. You talk with Nick almost every day now. Apparently his entire house burned down, so he's stuck in a tiny apartment with his parents and three brothers. He's fairing well, though, and he's one of your only friends who keeps in touch with you.

When he calls, he always uses the name you chose for yourself (or did he choose it?). These days, he’s the only one who does.

Nick comes out to you on a warm August afternoon.

“Holy shit,” you say. “I mean, that's great, man.” You wince. ‘Great’ doesn't seem like the right word to use there, but what else are you supposed to say? “Does anyone else know?”

“Yeah.” You hear a sigh of relief, and your heart clenches at the thought that Nick would hold even a sliver of fear of your reaction. “Nate, Max—a few others… Matt and Chris don't know, yet.”

Your jaw drops. “What? You haven't told them?” Nick and his triplet brothers told each other almost everything. You figured they'd be first on the list.

You remembered, vaguely, a conversation where you asked Nick if he had any secrets from Matt and Chris. He'd hesitated before shaking his head.

Huh, you thought. ‘No secrets’, my ass.

“Yeah,” Nick said like he’d had this conversation before. “I don't know why. I know they'd be fine with it, obviously, but it's just… a lot of work, y’know? They might be weird about it. No, they definitely will be. That's almost worse.”

You frowned. Granted, you weren't as close with Matt and Chris as you were with Nick, but they'd never struck you as homophobic. And they'd always been close with Nick, closer than most siblings. You couldn't imagine them reacting negatively.

Still, you understood Nick’s nervousness. That was big news to drop. One way or another, everything would change.

“They might be a little weird about it,” you admitted. “But they'll get over it. Probably. Either way, you've gotta do it eventually so may as well get it over with, right?”

“Yeah.” The word was tinged with frustration. “I know. I'll do it soon. Probably.”

It's not a surprise when, on their next call, he announces he's done it. You congratulate him, and the two of you talk about life in general, though there aren't many updates. Your mind is elsewhere, and you think Nick senses it because you say your goodbyes a few minutes later.

In your mind, you turn it over and over again in your head. Nick is gay and he came out and everything is fine. Everyone is cool with it. And even though at this point you haven’t admitted anything to yourself—

Something inside you untenses.

***

When you see Nick in person for the first time in over a year, you almost double over in envy.

It comes from nowhere. It completely blindsides you. He steps into the cafeteria with Matt and Chris by his side and you're suddenly so jealous you could puke.

He just looks really good, actually smiling and happy and tall. That's the only reason you're jealous, you decide, as Chris nearly shoves Nick into a table. Nick had a glow-up but quarantine only made you uglier, inside and out. Of course you'd be jealous.

To your surprise, Nick singles you out first out of all his friends. “Hey.” He smiles. It's a gentle smile, and he looks so happy and good and—did you mention he’s tall? At least taller than you, though that's not saying much. You're short enough that you almost never get mistaken for a boy, and when you do, it’s usually because of your short hair.

But you and Nick have the same hair length.

Huh. Same hair, similar style (yours perhaps even more ‘masculine’ than his), but no one ever mistakes you for a man after they see your face or hear your voice. Your stomach twists in envy again at the thought, this time with a distinct undercurrent of self-loathing.

If I looked like you…

(I probably wouldn't hate myself so much.)

It's just because Nick looks so good, though.

***

It's a snowball effect after that.

It's like Nick coming out put the concept on transness on your radar. You find yourself reading articles about it late at night. Just out of curiosity, you tell yourself.

But being trans would explain a lot about you. Almost everything, really.

One night you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. That's something you don't usually do. You don't like your body. You don't like your face. And for the first time, you're thinking:

Why? What don't I like about it?

The fat on your stomach. The fat around your waist. Your mom always says you have “child-bearing” hips, a comment that never fails to disgust you.

Your chest. You hate when people comment on it or acknowledged its existence at all. Bra shopping is a nightmare and necessary evil. Do most women feel like that?

Maybe. You doubt it.

You go by a man's name.

You wear men's clothes.

You look like a man…almost. From certain angles.

You want to look like a man.

That’s true. You do.

In here, at least, you can finally admit something. Only to yourself, and only for now, and only partially.

But you're maybe, kind of, at least 80% sure you're trans.

Fuck, you think. I'm screwed.

***

You come out to Nick in a McDonald's parking lot. It's oddly fitting.

Usually, you wouldn't do it all in one go. You'd test the waters first. Mention trans people in passing and see how the other person reacts. Maybe say a few things like ‘sometimes I just wish I was a guy, y'know?’

With most of your other friends, you could get away with that. They may be confused, they may side-eye you, but they wouldn't understand and they wouldn't confront you about it.

Nick isn't like that. He'd know, even if he didn't say anything. Better to just rip the bandaid off.

You wait until the others leave the car to pick up their orders. You and Nick stay behind like you always do.

You suck in a breath. Talking to Nick has always been easy. He's loud, you're loud—you accommodate, build off of each other. The silence feels unnatural in comparison to your usual easy banter.

“I think, um—” Your voice cracks and you cough. A strong start. You had a script but you're forgetting it. “I think I'm… probably not a woman.”

That's it. That's the closest you've gotten—that's all you know. ‘Probably not a woman’. Probably a man, but hey, there were other possibilities, and you just figured this out a few weeks ago so give yourself a break.

Nick is silent a second too long. You start to panic. “Like, I think I'm trans.” Your voice goes up at the end like it's a question.

It's not. You're certain. You made sure you were certain long before you came out.

“Thank you for telling me,” Nick says awkwardly. You nearly laugh; his floundering is oddly soothing. “Do the others—”

“No.” You shake your head. “No one else knows.”

“Oh, wow. Um… how long have you known?”

You think for a moment. “I guess I always have, even if I didn't have the words for it. But I didn't know for sure until a few weeks ago.”

“So… do you have a name picked out?”

You stare at him, confused. You can see the others exiting McDonald’s in the background. “What?”

“I mean,” Nick backpedals, puts up his hands like he's offended you, “Most trans people change their name, and no offense, but you don't don't really have a guy’s name, so I was just wondering—”

“I do, though,” you say. “The nickname you gave me.”

Nick says nothing, just sort of stares at you, and for some reason your face grows hot.

(He really does look good, you think, and wow this is such an inappropriate time to be having that thought.)

Then the others bang on the windows and demand to be let in, and the moment is ruined.

***

It gets worse before it gets better.

You decide not to come out to your parents until you absolutely have to. You do, however, come out to the rest of the friend group, and they're mostly accepting.

But it's not like you press a button and become a man overnight. Word gets around, and though no one says anything to your face, you hear them laugh behind your back. Some of your teachers who had been fine calling you by your nickname beforehand refuse to use it anymore.

You don't let it get to you. You give as good as you get. Still, as always, Nick is your biggest supporter. You don't know what you'd do without him.

***

You stay friends, but you fall out of touch.

It happens. You still text on birthdays, still congratulate him on his channel, still send each other memes on Instagram, but one day you blink and realize you haven't actually seen him in almost a year.

You've been busy. You have your own life, your own friends, but Nick is your best and oldest one. Always has been, and you're hoping always will be. So of course you text “hey, next time you're in Boston we should hang out or smth” and of course he agrees.

You suggest McDonald's, just for old time's sake, but Nick insists you go to an actual restaurant. He picks a more expensive one, and as you're trying to work out a polite way to say “thanks, but I'm way too poor for that”, he texts:

NICK: my treat btw

YOU: nah man you don't have to

YOU: but we might have to go somewhere cheaper sorry

NICK: it’s fine. i'll pay. i probs owe u hundreds from hs still lmao

YOU: true true

YOU: if you're sure

Nick never answers, which you assume means ‘yes’.

You show up almost half an hour early. You brought your wallet and you're prepared to put up a valiant fight for your fair share of the bill, bank account be damned.

You’re also anxious like you havent been since high school, probably. You don't know why. Nick's your friend, after all, even if you've drifted apart a bit. There's nothing to be anxious about.

Nick shows up ten minutes early.

Huh, you think, and then stop thinking.

At least you weren't completely blindsided this time. You knew what Nick looked like from his channel and his Insta, but he’s… different in person.

He’s even better. You don't think you're ugly (not anymore, at least), but you're no supermodel. Nick is, or he could be, definitely.

He hugs you, and when he leans back he looks you up and down and frowns. “You grew.”

You shrug. “Side effect of testosterone.”

“That makes you grow?”

“It can if you start it before twenty.” Your face grows hot. Here Nick is, some airbrushed God, and you're going through second puberty. You have acne. You have the little shitty mustache you used to mock boys for.

You have gained a few inches, though. Now you're about level with Nick’s chin instead of his chest. Makes hugs a bit more awkward.

Nick is still frowning at you. “Are these a side effect, too?” He squeezes your bicep before stepping back.

Your face burns even hotter. “Sort of. I work out.” You flex on instinct, and you swear Nick’s eyes follow the movement with just a little too much heat.

You must be hallucinating.

You expect the dinner to be awkward. And it is, at first, until Nick clears his throat and says, “I have a confession to make.”

You eye him warily. He seems serious. “What is it?”

Nick fidgets, avoiding your eyes. “You know the name I gave you?”

“Yeah?”

“The one that's now your legal name?”

“What about it?”

Nick covers his mouth with his hand. His shoulders shake with silent laughter. “It—” He wheezes. “It was my cousin’s pet turtle’s name!”

You gape.

And just like that, it's like nothing ever changed.

You burst into laughter. “I can't believe it,” you hiss. “And you never told me?”

“I was just listing off names I knew,” he says apologetically. “It could've been worse. You could've been named after my cousin.”

“Oh my god.” You cover your face with your hands. “Is that why Matt and Chris looked at me so weird when I told them?”

Nick starts laughing again. “Yeah. I'm sorry, man.”

You uncover your face and sigh, shaking your head. “Where are they, anyways?” You ask. “I thought they'd come with you.” Though now that you thought about it, Nick never said ‘we’ in his texts, only ‘I’. Huh.

“They wanted to say hi,” Nick says apologetically. “I made them stay home.”

“Why?”

To your surprise, Nick goes red.

It all clicks into place. The fancy restaurant. Nick’s insistence on paying. The fucking bicep squeeze.

You smile and lean forward. “Nick Sturniolo,” you say. “Is this a date?”

Nick, to his credit, recovers quickly. “If you want it to be,” he says softly. He actually meets your eyes and everything.

You meet his, too.

“I do.”

#nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo x male!reader #nick sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo x ftm!reader

[nobody-nexus]

Ragatha Theory I Have

Okay so I'm as sick as a dog right now, so instead of art I shall give you a long rambling of a Ragatha theory I had that I wanted to share. Something I've noticed is that it's presumed that Ragatha and Kinger are friends. I suspect that's because they've been there the longest out of the group, so they know one another the best. But then that mixed with the fact that Pomni's not going to be as insane/frantic like in the first episode, it got me to thinking... Was Ragatha ALWAYS this nice or did she change?

Now I have no evidence for this aside from some small fun facts and Ragatha's personality- but to me Ragatha seems like someone who is clearly filled with some sort of guilt. Something that she wishes to fix, but she can't undo. That mixed with the fact that she's toxically positive and lies to stop conflict, it's making me think that it's almost like she doesn't want history to repeat itself, and that's more so than just abstraction. It also feels like she's almost trying to fill some sort of void in the group's dynamic. One that she perhaps has a need to fill? Now of course this mixed with the thing with Kinger doesn't particularly make sense UNTIL one person comes to mind: Queenie

Now here's the REAL theory: What if Ragatha did something in the past that caused Queenie to abstract, and now she's trying to fill her place out of guilt? Something that interested me was Ragatha's quickness to get annoyed/angered at Jax for the comment with the centipede. Of course I'd be angry too, but if she was USED to this, she wouldn't have exploded so quickly as she did, not even hiding it. I think that THIS is Ragatha's true personality. Someone who's quick to tell and even quicker to upset. Whether this is because of her behaving outside of the digital circus or because it's her slowly losing herself is really up to you. Now, take THAT into consideration when I give the idea of Queenie being a more mother figure to the group. Since presumably her and Kinger would've been similar ages, it makes sense that she'd take this role perhaps for the familiarity of it

Ragatha, first joining in, probably wasn't all that nice. Could you blame her? She's missing most of her fingers, an eye, and her feet. She's the most humanoid out of group at this moment if you consider the previous people crossed out on the doors. But yet she's still WRONG. So, with this confusion, it could've led to anger, and anger leading to bursting out, etc. I think Queenie did her best to try and help, but nothing worked. She wasn't an asshole or anything, but she was very dense and very hard to communicate with. Of course, Ragatha HERSELF wouldn't be the ONLY reason, but perhaps a catalyst into eventual Abstraction

Now here the doll is, having the only person that probably was okay around her gone because of HER actions. Why wouldn't she feel guilty? Kinger's gone mad and the only voice of reasoning in the group was now basically dead. So Ragatha tries to turn a new leaf. She tries to be positive, take people under her wing, tries to HELP them as best she can- but her toxic negativity flipped into toxic positivity. She takes any pain she gets, she lies, and yet she tries to stop conflict because of this guilt- THIS PAIN of being the reason someone's gone

If could also describe why Ragatha is seemingly Jax's biggest target. Now, I'm not going to sit here and say it's for any "good" reason- Gooseworx has confirmed he gets WORSE, so I personally think that he bullies her because it's an advantage he has. Like power tripping, Jax knows about her lack of power and how she's trying to change, and here he is abusing it for personal gain. Because he won't get in trouble aside from some angry yelling, right? I suspect THIS is why Gooseworx apologized to the Bunnydoll shippers. Because their dynamic is power tripping-based bullying. Also, she's probably friends with Kinger as a way to give Kinger someone to talk to since Queenie probably was the only one who DID hear him, and now it's Ragatha filling the void. She lost one, she can't lose another

In the end though, this IS just a theory. I could be 100% wrong and not in the right direction, but it's fun to speculate anyway. Hope you liked this lil theory of mine with like no evidence backing it up lol

#the amazing digital circus #amazing digital circus #the digital circus #digital circus #tadc #ragatha #tadc ragatha #ragatha tadc #theory #tadc theory #digital circus theory #ragatha theory #ft #kinger #queenie #jax #but only ft them #it's a ragatha focused theory

[joesalw]

Old swiftie here. I'm so over Taylor shading Joe. Like, I've always defended her because she, as an artist, is allowed to express herself and sing about her life, but she's literally just been taking cheap, coordinated shots against him for months now and it's just ugly. It's one thing for her to write about her feelings, another to shit talk him to her girlfriends, and a WHOLE OTHER THING to take every opportunity to blast him in front of the whole world. It's even worse to me that he really wanted to be private and now that they're over she's making everything public as a last laugh. He hasn't said anything, he's barely shown his face since the break up. All of this could have gone away by now, if she didn't keep bringing it back up. For someone who talked a whole lot about her accomplishments being diminished by the media in favor of her love life and how unfair that is, right now she's the only one to blame for it. She's really not missing any chances when it comes to talking about Travis and even worse comparing them being public to Joe. And I'm sorry, but some of the stuff she says is just hurtful no matter what unfolded. Wasted time? Really? I just don't get how someone can write such beautiful love songs, be so in love, talk for YEARS about how being private is the right thing and what she needed for their mental health, and then go "wow what a load of wasted time you were, and I gotta tell the whole world about it." She just flipped on him so hard and that's the kind of thing I always defended her from. I'm not finding her at all different from the likes of Kanye. That's not the kind of person I'd like to be around in real life and it definitely isn't the kind of person I want to be supporting. Idk I just really can't with the way she's rewriting history. It's like she forgot she disappeared for a reason and has now fully bought into the idea that he kept her locked in her basement or something. I always thought that if you really wanted to know someone's character you should put them on top of the world and see what they do with all that power and I'm sad to say nothing Taylor has done this year has made me think she's someone I should root for. Working with a rapist, dating a racist/misogynist/zionist then defending him, turning on someone she once implied save her life, the way she handled the Rio shows in Brazil (as a brazilian fan)... It's all just rotten. A real shame bc I've been with her since 06 but better late than never I guess.

A real shame indeed, because she's someone i used to defend a lot as well. But with everything that has happened this year have put such a bad taste in my mouth and also made me realize how her haters have always been so right. I used to think she has improved herself a lot both personally and professionally but to throw away all those character development as a wastage of time just because a relationship didn’t work out is so childish and embarrassing, like how can her fans not see through this?

#anti taylor swift #swifties dni

[buckys-black-dress]

heaven won't be the same

a/n: hello!!!!! i know it's been, like, a really really long time since i've written for you guys. depression + nursing school = even worse depression. anyways, here's something that i wrote to just kinda get me back into the groove of writing. enjoy!

wc: 5.7k words

warnings: NONE. she's chill today.

[ bucky barnes x nurse!fem!reader ]

-

Is this is the right place?

Looks like it. Just knock. What's the worst that could happen?

Your hand lifts, albeit hesitantly, and raps against the wooden door.

You wait a moment before you hear shuffling on the other side, and then the lock turning and the door opens.

The blond who opens it stares at you, searching for some sort of recognition in your eyes, but comes up a bit short.

"Can I help you?" He asks slowly, clearly confused.

"Hi, I'm Y/N. I can't remember which one of you I spoke with, I think his name was Sam. But I'm here to look at the room you guys are renting?" You ask gently, maybe you were in the wrong place.

"Oh! You're Y/N! Yes, yeah, I know who you are, come in." Recognition dawns on the blue-eyed boy's face. "By the way, I'm Steve. I don't know how much Sam has told you about us but I wasn't expecting a girl to want to live with three guys." He chuckles and you return the laugh.

"Yeah, I mean I was a bit hesitant at first because I thought I'd get murdered by you guys or something, but Sam made it very clear that you're all very nice people and won't watch me while I sleep." You reply with a small smile.

Steve looks at you in silence.

"Just kidding!" You let out a laugh. "But my mom was a bit worried about me living with three men, but I convinced her nothing bad was going to happen. I hope."

"Hey, seriously though, we wouldn't want to make you feel unsafe. I know being a woman in this day and age in New York can be... less than pleasant. We're big on respect here at 6A." He flashes you a smile that for sure has made a girl weak in the knees before.

"Thanks, Steve. I appreciate that. I mean I know you guys probably weren't expecting a girl as your fourth roommate, so I'm just happy to find space where I can."

"I mean, hey, it's not what we were expecting, but we're not picky people." Steve shrugs. "Wanna take a look at your room? Then we can go from there and get your stuff moved in."

"Sure, sounds great!"

He leads you down the hallway and opens a door, revealing the room you saw on the listing.

After chattering about the room and how they were excited to have you live with them, he takes you back to main living area to wrap up any other loose ends.

"Alright, so like I said we do have two bathrooms so you might have to share with Bucky, since his room is also on that side of the apartment but that shouldn't be a problem. And also, I can help move in your things if you don't wanna go through the hassle of getting moving guys and all that."

"Oh, you don't have to do that for me, I don't mind at all-"

"Hey, no worries, I'm happy to help." Steve smiles and you nod in response.

"Thanks. I didn't know I'd be getting such a deal moving in with you guys." You laugh.

"I'm just happy to help. I'm sure Sam and Buck can also help since they'll be around later tonight."

-

And so it began.

All of your boxes were in the rented U-Haul at the front of your new home. You text Steve to let him know you're downstairs, and a feeling sits in your gut.

You were nervous to live with three random stranger men. Granted, Sam and Steve were both so nice, and you really are getting a great deal with this apartment, being so close to your work and all.

"Hey Y/N! Let's get this show on the road." Steve comes outside, guns blazing, (literally, have you seen his biceps?), and ready to work.

It only takes an hour or so to get all your things inside, and Sam was waiting inside to take things directly to your new room. Although you still haven't met Bucky, you knew it couldn't be too bad. Steve and Sam were angels.

-

The first time you met Bucky was when he returned from his shift. He worked as a bartender. He had odd hours and often didn't come back until 3 AM most nights that he worked.

Hence, the reason why he was confused when he saw you in the kitchen in the middle of the night.

"Hey... who are you?" He asked, dropping his keys into the bowl next to the door.

"Oh!" Your head whipped around at the sound of the door shutting "Steve mentioned that you worked weird hours. I'm Y/N." You extend your hand to him. "I'm the new roommate. I hope they told you about me." You huff out a laugh, hoping he wouldn't be completely weirded out by you.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I totally missed that you were moving in today. Don't worry, they did mention you." He returned your smile while shaking your hand.

His large, callused hand engulfing yours made your heart pound in your chest. Jesus. Are all the guys who live here male models? What the hell?

"Well, it was really nice meeting you, Y/N. I'm gonna head to bed, work totally got me shot. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah, yes. I'm usually out the door by 6:30 by the latest, so I'll catch you if you're up." You smile.

"6:30 in the morning? Yeah, no chance I'll see you then but you'll catch me before my shift. I forgot, Sam did mention you were a nurse."

"For sure, I also have the next day off so that'll probably be a bit more realistic."

"How about we go get breakfast that day? On me, consider it a welcome-to-the-apartment gift from me." Bucky's grin spreads across his face, and you can't help notice just how handsome he is.

"Deal, Bucky. Good night."

-

After you both got over the initial awkwardness, you and Bucky became the most unlikely pair. Sharing a bathroom was breeze, your schedules aligned perfectly some days, meaning that the two of you spent most of your free time together.

It was a strange feeling. You loved becoming friends with Bucky. He was so easy to talk to, and understood you better than most others. It was so natural and easy with him, like you'd known him forever.

But another part of you was falling for him, and you knew it. You chose to ignore it, deciding that it was silly and that you just liked him as a friend. A best friend, perhaps.

At times, he did little things that made you think otherwise, though.

The cuddling during movie nights. The 'I got this for you because it made me think of you's. It was something that ate at you daily.

You two practically did everything together. In a way, it was like being in a relationship, but with no pressure. No expectations. Just two people, hanging out and being there for the other. It meant nothing (but everything, at the same time.)

He was always there for you. After a hard shift, you came home and sat quietly while you talked about whatever it was that bothered you. And after his shifts at the bar, he did the same.

It was almost too easy, the way you two could fall into a rhythms so easily. It was so nice to have someone to have around after moving into a new place. You two clicked effortlessly, it seemed.

And of course, they don't call it falling in love for nothing.

-

Tonight, you had a night shift, which meant you went to bed all day until about 4 PM and then proceeded to get ready for your evening at the hospital.

You were in the bathroom washing your face and braiding your hair back, then pulling on your under-scrub top.

The door creaks open, revealing a smiling Bucky.

He's dressed head to toe in black; a tight t-shirt that looks like it's a size too small, black jeans, black leather boots, and finally, a leather jacket thrown over his arm.

"I hate when you have the night shift. I'm so lonely during the day, and of course you have it on my one night off." He whines, and you shoot him a look through the mirror.

"Well, I wouldn't have taken the night shift but they were offering extra pay since no one wanted to cover. Sorry, honey." You turn around and pat his chest to move him out of the doorway, an exaggerated pout on your face.

Fuck me, those eyes, Bucky thinks to himself at the gesture.

Your touch sent a flutter of butterflies against his stomach, making him move out of your way so you could pull on your socks and gather your things into your bag.

"Where are you all dressed up for on your night off then?" You ask out loud while stuffing your arms through your fleece jacket.

"I- uh, funny story, actually." He laughs out a cough, "I have a date." He presses his lips together.

"Oh. A date." You stop what you were doing, back turned to him.

You can feel his eyes burning through the back of your head, but you can't turn to face him right now. Snapping out your thoughts, you continue gathering your things.

"Yeah, this girl at the bar, she works as a waitress actually. She asked for my number, and well one thing led to another and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Buck. I'm happy for you. Have a great date, I have to run. Good luck." You muster the best smile you can in that moment and practically run out of your room.

"Wait, are you okay?" He asks in a rush, following close behind you.

"Of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be? I have to get to work." You were almost an hour early. You stop to fill your water bottle from the fridge and make your escape. "I'll see you tomorrow!" You yell from the hallway before the door shuts, the slam resounding through the emptiness.

The moment of silence in the elevator gets you lost in your thoughts for a minute.

A date.

With a girl who works at the bar.

You don't know why this is hurting your chest so terribly. The thought of Bucky, your closest friend, going on a date, tugs at something.

Whatever happens, you know you can't say anything. It's not your place. You just have to let it run its course, whether it goes in a good direction or not. You have to just do your best to be happy for Bucky.

-

Meanwhile, back at the apartment;

"Did Y/N leave for work already?" Steve asks, coming out of his room.

"Yeah, she basically ran out even though her shift isn't til seven." Bucky's brows are furrowed, still standing in the middle of the kitchen thinking about how you practically raced to get away from him.

"Why'd she leave so early?" Steve asks in confusion, eyes flashing to the oven, seeing the digital clock flashing 5:56 PM. "It only takes her like 20 minutes to get there."

While discussing, Sam pops out of his own bedroom, listening in on the conversation between the two.

"I don't know, we were just talking about plans tonight and she got really weird, all of a sudden. She grabbed all her stuff for her shift and just bolted." Bucky was incredibly confused, and it was clear in his tone and facial expression.

He looked like a lost puppy.

"So what are you doing tonight?" Sam asks, wondering what was bothering you. Maybe it was something Bucky said?

"I was just hanging out in her room while she was getting ready, and then she asked what I was dressed for and I told her about that girl, Christina, the one from the bar that asked for my number and asked to go on a date. Then she basically ran." Bucky shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know what even happened, she even said I 'don't have to explain myself to her,' and that she had to leave."

Steve and Sam shoot a look between each other, the latter breathing out a deep sigh.

"What? What's that sigh?" Bucky asks.

"Nothing, Buck. Have you thought that maybe the date was what was bothering her? You two spend a lot of time together, and maybe she feels a little... blindsided by this date." Steve reasons.

"What? Why would she feel blindsided? I tell her everything. She tells me everything. That's just how we are." Bucky responds with a shake of the head, hands flailing in the air.

"But what about her? Does she tell you about the dates she goes on?" Sam asks, and Bucky's brows furrow.

"What dates? She goes on dates? With who?"

Another look shared between Steve and Sam.

"See, maybe she doesn't go on dates. I really don't know. But that reaction is why she felt hurt by you telling her about you going on a date." Steve explains.

Bucky's lost.

"She has feelings for you, Buck. She has feelings and she's hurt that you're going on a date because she never goes on dates, and now she's realizing that she's going to get left behind in the dust when you meet another girl." Sam supplies.

Now Bucky's even more lost.

"But... why wouldn't she tell me she has feelings for me? She's never even indicated that there was anything she felt for me more than friends do." He explains, now wracking his brain for every single interaction you two have had.

"Listen... we don't know what goes on when you guys are alone. But what I do know is that you guys spend a lot of time together, and I think you guys both have some... unspoken feelings for each other."

Bucky stands there, contemplating what this meant. What was he saying? That he should come clean to you about his feelings for you? That going on this date tonight would be a mistake?

Fuck, the date.

"Listen, I gotta go. My date's expecting me." Bucky quickly dismisses the entire conversation, putting him arms through the arms of his leather jacket before heading out the door.

Another sigh was shared between the two men left behind in the apartment.

-

There were pros and cons to working the night shift.

Pros included that it was calm, most of the time. Nights meant time to catch up on charting and paperwork while patients slept, checking in on them when needed.

Cons included the fact that one of the major thoughts blaring in your mind was 'WHILE YOU'RE SITTING HERE MEASURING THIS PATIENT'S OUTPUT, BUCKY IS ON A DATE WITH A SUPER HOT GIRL FROM HIS WORK!!!'

It sucked.

You wished you could shut it off. Of course, you always had to make sure you were giving your patients the best care possible, but your mind was plagued.

Would you ever tell him how you felt? Could you ever take that risk? The thought of even telling him, let alone being rejected, makes you sick to your stomach.

He would never speak to you again. It would be weird between you two, and then it would be weird between everyone in the apartment, and you would never be able to show your face again and would have to move out. There’s no other feasible option.

Unless…

Unless Bucky liked you back.

But you don’t even let your mind wander there, because you couldn’t even stomach the thought of not being around them. They were your family, the people you spent the most time with, the ones you could always count on when you had a rough day or needed a shoulder to lean on. Especially Bucky.

You simply couldn’t lose them.

And so, your night shift went on and the world still spun, even with your feelings buried deep in your chest.

-

When you walked into your apartment at 7:30 AM, there were some things you noticed that weren’t there when you had left.

First, it was the pretty black kitten heels by the door that certainly weren’t yours.

Then, for example, a cute leather purse hanging from a barstool by the kitchen island that wasn’t yours.

You put two and two together, and despite the harsh clench of your chest, you decided you were too tired to even think about all this right now. You just needed to take a shower and go straight to bed.

After staying true to your words, you had just shut the door to the bathroom when you heard it open again. Then, the water running from the tap, and then you see the handle of your door turning.

Immediately, you throw yourself under your covers and act like you had already been asleep. You simply couldn’t face Bucky right now. Not after knowing that he brought that girl home, and not after she was probably still in his bed. That was just too far for you.

With your face away from the door, you try and make your breaths as even as possible, hearing the door click open.

You could feel Bucky’s eyes burning into you, but you weren’t giving yourself away. You needed sleep before dealing with this.

Once you hear the door shut, you let out a big breath, your heart practically leaping out of your chest. And with that breath, you allow your eyes to only well with tears, but not letting them fall.

-

You woke again at 3 PM, but with knowing you had the next day off you weren’t in any rush to start your day. You didn't even want to move. You felt as though you got hit by a bus, between the racing thoughts about... well you know who they were about; and then piled on with the unexpected code in the middle of your shift, it was not a peaceful night.

You got your much needed rest, but you were in no mood to face Bucky right now.

But alas, your stomach spoke (rather growled violently), and you had to eat something before your stomach folded in on itself.

As you crack the door open to inspect the hall, you see that Bucky's door is closed but you hear noises from the direction of the living room.

You weigh your options.

Go out and make yourself something to eat and possibly face Bucky.

Starve.

Although the latter was looking like a great option, another whoosh from your stomach made you man up and step out of the room.

You couldn't even bring yourself to look at who was in the apartment, eyes dead-set on the pasta sauce you knew was in the fridge.

"Hey, Y/N! How was the night shift?" Sam's chirpy question came from the couch.

"It was alright, had a code but he pulled through. What did you two get up to last night?" You ask, seeing that Steve and Bucky were sitting on the couch opposite to Sam.

You couldn't even look him in the eye, while you knew he was watching you.

"Not much, just had a few beers and chilled til Buck got back, caused quite the ruckus." Sam lets out a laugh, but the words pierced through your heart as you pour the pasta into the boiling pot of water you'd set on the stove.

"Oh, nice." You reply, albeit shortly. You didn't know what to say. But of course, your mouth runs farther ahead than your brain. "How was that date, Bucky?"

You didn't care how the date was. You know she came back here, and you had absolutely zero interest in finding out what they did together. You couldn't handle hearing him tell you about it.

"It was... it was good. She came back here after." Was all he said. He looked at you with those wide, crazy eyes. You wanted to crumble under his gaze, but instead you just turned around to focus on your food.

"Nice. Great. I'm glad it went well for you." You said, not facing him.

The three boys give each other a look, and the tension could be cut with a knife.

Another loud growl from your stomach.

Fuck.

You check and the pasta is cooked. You drain it, pour your sauce and cheese, and practically sprint back to your room with a resounding click of your door through the apartment. Dishes be damned.

-

Outside, breaths were still held.

"Jesus, Sam. Could you have made it sound worse than it was?" Bucky grits through his teeth, pushing his shoulder aggressively.

"Well, you did bring her back here. Did I misspeak?" He responds.

"No, but we just hung out! Nothing even happened! Why is this even so awkward between us? It's not a crime if I did sleep with her." Bucky defends, but is confused about this situation.

"Well, it wouldn't be a crime, but it sure wouldn't be a good thing that you slept with someone else when you clearly have feelings for her!" Steve chimes in as quietly as possible.

-

You feel so stupid.

The urge hits you like a truck.

Should you also be going on dates? What was it that was so deeply holding you back from doing what Bucky's doing?

You could make all the excuses you want; busy with work, too tired, and that you were happy with your friendships and current relationships, even if they were all platonic.

But that was all before, when you thought Bucky felt the same.

You thought that he was also happy with the way you two were. Doing all the things people in relationships do, but not speaking out about those deeply-buried feelings. And that was enough. You didn't need someone to tell you they loved you as more than a friend, you didn't need that yearning feeling to be filled.

It was all bullshit, anyways. Right?

Right?

Right.

He could date people and have a girlfriend that he could do all those things with.

It didn't matter.

Because apparently, you weren't that person to him.

So you would just have to accept that and move on with your life.

Alone.

Again.

-

"Again with these damn feelings! You two don't even know your heads from your asses, and you wanna tell me about how my feelings!" Bucky scrambles for words. He feels hot and uncomfortable all over, all the while trying to not raise his voice.

"Bucky! You felt that tension in here? Right? That was because she had a problem! And it could all easily fixed if you just said, 'Hey, I know this is crazy, but I like you! And I didn't sleep with anyone else because of that!' Huh? How 'bout that?" Sam suggests, like it was the easiest thing to do in the world.

"Yeah, and what if she laughs in my face? What if that's totally not the case?!" Bucky responds.

"Buck, I think you just need to trust us on this one. She likes you and you like her. I don't know what else to tell you to make you understand." Steve finally sighs and drops his shoulders, over this whole conversation.

"Listen, she has tomorrow off. If you two end up hanging out, you need to say something. The tension is just too much." Sam just sighs and turns the TV on, preemptively ending the conversation.

Bucky just went into his room, placed his headphones over his head, and spent some time alone to think.

Let's think rationally.

You went on a date, and you didn't sleep with her.

What Bucky was coming to realize, is that there was a reason he didn't sleep with her.

He just couldn't.

It felt wrong, like he knew that there was a reason why he couldn't do it, subconsciously.

And he fully went into the date wanting to sleep with her. That was his goal. But he knew that if he did, it would be the point of no return. For some reason, he just felt it in his gut.

Realistically, even if I slept with her, I probably would've been sick with myself. I couldn't even face her after that.

But why?

Because you like her, you absolute moron.

He thinks of all the moments shared between you two. The stares, the cuddling, the innocent touches that drove him insane. All of those things added up in his mind to become one big jumble of feelings and now his brain felt like it was going to burst from how much this was all hitting him at once.

He springs off his bed.

Before he even turns the corner into the living room, words are spilling out of his mouth.

"You know what, maybe subconsciously even my body knew not to sleep with her, but even then how could I know for sure she likes me?-"

But there you are, sitting between Steve and Sam, tears leaking out of the corners of your eyes, gazing up at him in shock.

Clearly, you three were in the middle of something.

"You didn't sleep with her?" Your voice is meek at the question.

"No. I couldn't do it." He says, like it was obvious.

"Why not?" You fire back.

"I- I just... can we not do this out here? Please?" Bucky practically begs. He can't confess his deep and utter devotion to you in front of his two best friends. They'd never let him live it down.

"Come with me." Bucky runs into his room, throwing you a hoodie of his that he knew you were partial to, and then slid on his own jacket. Shoes are stuffed onto his feet, and he sees you doing the same, but your eyes never leave his figure in confusion.

The keys are grabbed from the bowl, and the door swings open while he holds it open for you.

Before Bucky lets the door shut, he gives Sam and Steve a final look; meanwhile the two are jumping up and down and pumping their fists in the air silently. It was almost comical.

"Where are we going?" Your voice from behind him startles him a bit, forgetting what he was even supposed to be doing.

"Just- put this on, honey." He hands you his spare motorcycle helmet, and you almost want to protest, but you wanted to see where this was going.

So you comply and hold onto him for dear life while he weaves in and out of traffic.

He stops, finally, in front of the place you know Bucky always comes to when he has too much on his mind.

It's a wide expanse of the city, a rooftop that he somehow had access to; and you weren't sure what you were doing here.

"What are we doing here?" You don't even let your mind think about what he was here to tell you.

Was he here to break the news to you that he was seeing this girl?

But you still couldn't figure out why he would bring you here to tell you that, and why he hadn't slept with her last night. Did she mean more to him than he let on? Is that why he wanted to wait to sleep with her?

The thought sends you heart sinking into your stomach.

"I have something I need to tell you." Bucky pauses and gazes so deeply into your eyes, something swimming in his blue irises, but you couldn't tell what. That was what scared you the most.

"I... I haven't been completely honest with you about how I've been feeling as of late. And I can't keep... keep being dishonest to myself and you, Y/N."

Tears were welling against your lashline, begging to be released at his words.

This was it. It’s all about to be over for good.

He approaches closer, hands coming to your jawline; his hold so delicate and soft that it makes you even more upset.

"Y/N... You are the most important person in my life. I can't imagine sharing any part of my life without you. You're the only person I want to see when I have something on my mind, I yearn for your touch when you aren't there, and lately, I've been confused as hell trying to understand why." His soft voice makes you weak in the knees.

Cue more tears.

"I just... I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you. And I'm sorry I went on that date... I'm sorry for a lot of things."

"Can I ask you something?" You ask quietly.

"Of course, honey."

"Why didn't you sleep with her?"

The weight of the question sits heavily in the air, and Bucky's features soften a smidge.

"I couldn't do it. I tried to get myself into it, into her. Both figuratively and literally." He laughs at his own joke, "but no part of me wanted to spend time with her over you. All I could think about was you. The entire date, I was thinking about what you were doing. What you were thinking about. You're all that takes up my mind these days. It kills me, not being around you when you're gone. I wish I could express to you how much I love you, but there aren't any words that could explain the extent of my feelings for you, Y/N. All I can really say is that I love you. You're my best friend. I can't think of anyone else who has the same effect on me that you have."

All you can think of you when you hear those words is the pounding in your chest and the fluttering in your lungs.

A wet, snotty smile crosses your face and you let out a garbled laugh.

"You love me?" Your hands slide up his chest to his shoulders, fingers grasping onto them.

"For as long as I can remember, honey. You're everything to me. The stars, the moon, the sky. It's all you." He returns the same smile, large thumbs caressing under your eyes to swipe at the fallen tears at his admission. "Do you love me?"

The way he asks you the question makes it sound so minuscule, so minute and almost childish, because you think he knows the answer.

"I do. I love you so much that I can't even think properly when I'm around you, Bucky. You take up every inch of my heart and my mind. I love you." You confess, the words spilling out of you like they belonged to him.

The grin that stretches across his cheeks is almost unreal, like a cartoon character. You could practically see the hearts in his eyes at your words.

The kiss that he molds upon your lips with his own steals all the air out of your lungs, and while one of your hands threads through his soft locks at the nape of his neck and your eyes fall shut, the other slides down to his chest, resting right over his heart.

You feel it against your palm and fingers, the pounding of the organ at the feeling of finally kissing you.

You wish he could feel yours, equally as loud and obvious.

His own hands are cradling your cheeks ever so gently, but the way he's kissing you is anything but. It was full of want, need, yearning. Everything you’ve been waiting for for months, finally being released in this moment.

When he finally pulls away for air, your eyes remain closed. You never wanted this moment to end, and if you opened your eyes now, you're afraid you'll wake and this will all be a cruel dream.

"Let me see those eyes, sweetheart." He mumbles and you can almost feel the words against your lips.

When your eyes peel open again almost drowsily, Bucky's smile is all you see. His nose is still brushing against yours, and you feel weak in the knees all over again at the proximity.

"I love you. And you love me. You know what that means?" He says.

"What?" Is all you can muster to reply at the moment.

"It means I owe those two bozos at home an apology and a beer, probably."

The laugh that escapes you lights him up inside, the sound being his favorite thing in the world. If he could make you laugh forever, he'd die a happy man.

"They knew this whole time, y'know? They actually confronted me about it. I didn't even tell them first. I guess I was just that obvious." You laugh at the memory, Bucky fondly smiling.

"I expect nothing less from them. You should've seen Sam before I left last night. Acting like he was your dad or something." Bucky's large arms come to wrap around you, holding you against his body.

"Oh, I wouldn't wanna be on side of Sam's attitude. I'm glad you made it out alive." You giggle once more, arms looping around his neck.

"Now when we go back I'm gonna have to face the 'I told you so's' from them. Kill me now." He rolls his eyes at the thought.

"Well, if they kill you now, you wouldn't be able to take me out to dinner tomorrow night." You tell him coyly, like the idea was already put in place.

"Huh, seems like you're right, honey. Couldn't leave my one and only girl hanging."

Bucky finally releases you from his hold- not that you wanted to be released of it- and walks towards the stairwell to head back down.

"C'mon. We've got a movie and ice cream waiting for us at home, sweetheart." He holds out his hand, and you don't hesitate to leap forward and grab it in your own.

"Let's go, Buck. I have lots to tell you about my shift last night."

"Oh, I'm sure the night shift was just riveting." He laughs as he leads you down the steps.

"Yeah, well all I could really think about was you being on a date with that girl, so yeah, maybe not the most pleasant time to have all night to yourself." You scoff.

"Well, you're never gonna have to worry about that again, will you?" He steals another peck from your lips, the blush creeping across your face at the gesture.

"I suppose not, no."

-

fin.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes one shot #mimimi hey guys sorry it's been literally like a decade since i've posted real content but HERE SHE IS !!!

[bingoboingobongo]

cod characters alphabet: gratitude

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, Valeria Garza

Warnings: none

Prompt: Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

A/N: god why do u have to make me fall in love with every boy i meet

simon "ghost" riley:

guys let's be honest you do not have to tell ghost to be grateful ever

i mean he is the poster child for not taking things for granted, like he is very aware that nothing is promised and things very much can be worse

he is always super duper grateful for anything and everything that you do for him

literally even just liking him or texting him

he's very conscious that he has a lot of flaws and so he's very appreciative that you don't let them hinder your love for him

that being said, he's not the greatest at expressing his gratefulness

he's not really good at expressing his feelings in general, but i'd say it pains him the most that he can't show his gratefulness to you as well as he would like to

he really wants you to know that he recognizes all the things you do but sometimes it can be tough to do

he'll try to mention it casually or be nonchalant about it

but inside he's positively bursting with love for you

john "soap" mactavish:

alright so soap is sorta half and half

like all of these guys he's in the military and he knows not to take things for granted

but sometimes he can just be a little clueless and so if you're doing something really subtle, don't expect him to notice it right away

now if you're doing something bigger than soap definitely notices

he's very vocal about how grateful he is for you and he'll pull you into a hug and tell you how you're "the best thing to happen to him"

he'll usually try to match your act with an act of his own

whether that be through quality time or a gift or date night

he's also just generally really grateful for you, regardless of if you've done anything specific for him recently

he's constantly telling you how lucky he is to have you and how he'll never find anyone as good to him as you are

kyle "gaz" garrick:

alright so gaz's very observant and so he recognizes all of the little things you do for him

his family raised him to show his gratitude and that's definitely something that stuck with him

so he's very vocal when it comes to thanking you

whenever you do something for him, whether it's big or small, he's quick to tell you thanks as soon as he notices

if you're with him he'll usually give you a peck on the forehead followed by a quick "thanks, love"

or if you're not there he'll text you (or send a voice message) saying thank you

like soap, he also shows his gratitude for you unprompted

he's just thankful that he can call you his and he'll let you know that all the time

whenever you guys are separated he'll do his best to call or text you

and he always finishes out his messages by telling you he loves you and that he's the luckiest person in the world because he gets to call you his

john price:

okay so don't get me wrong price is a very grateful and observant guy

he recognizes all the little things that you do for him and it makes him love you so much more

but he doesn't really express his gratitude explicitly very often

i think part of it just comes from how he was raised and another part comes from him just not really feeling the need to

in his opinion, he expresses his gratitude through his love for you

he's a strong believer that actions are more important than words and so you'll find him showing you his gratitude more than he tells you his gratitude

him lowering the volume of his alarm and only letting it ring once so it doesn't wake you up, remembering how you like your coffee or tea, helping you apply lotion or brushing through your hair after a shower

the little things

that being said, if you tell him that you want him to be more vocal than he will be

he'll always be telling you thank you, how lucky he is to have you, how he probably couldn't get through his day without you

just generally being thankful

alejandro vargas:

okay so alejandro is such a romantic that his heart explodes every time he notices the little things you do for him

again, he knows full well that tomorrow is far from promised and so he wants to do his best to make sure that you understand how thankful he is for you

he's always showing you his gratitude, verbally and through acts

whether that's rubbing your feet after a long day, running you a bath and pampering you when you're going through it, or making you lunches to bring to work when he's home

in terms of how he expresses his gratitude verbally, he does it all sorts of ways

usually in a mix of spanish and english and done so romantically it has you swooning

"you're so good to me princesa, i would buy every star in the galaxy for you"

"you bring so much light into my life, corazón, i would go blind without you"

what can i say he has a way with words

rodolfo "rudy" parra:

okay so rudy's like eternally grateful for you, like you can't even verbalize his love for you

for one he didn't even think he had a chance with someone like you and so he'll never stop being grateful that you gave him a chance

but the thing is, rudy's a little inexperienced in the relationship department and so he can be a little oblivious to the little things

he'll notice it eventually, but it might take him a little while to notice that his towels are always warmed when he gets out of the shower, or that whenever he texts you that he had a bad day there's a meal waiting for him when he gets back home

don't worry though, because he can recognize the big gestures pretty easily

when he does express his gratitude for you, he's very insistent about it (but not in a bad way)

he really wants you to know just how much he's grateful for you and he'll twist himself inside out to do so

he might not have the best way with words but he'll get his message across through sheer eagerness

he'll also do his best to show you his thankfulness through his actions

making you dinner, buying you little trinkets that remind him of you, running to the store in the middle of the night because you said you were hungry

valeria garza:

okay so valeria's very observant so she definitely notices all the little things that you do for her

but like ghost, she's not the best at vocalizing her gratitude to you

but just because she's bad at vocalizing it doesn't mean she's not grateful, because she definitely is

she knows how hard it must be to put up with her and love her, especially because of her career

but you do it anyways and that really does mean the world to her

she'll show you her gratefulness in her own little way though

it's very subtle and you might not even notice it, but she'll try and protect you from danger

she'll tell her dealers not to sell by your work, hire people to watch the streets on your commute home so you don't get attacked

very small things that you might not even notice

when you're asleep, she'll whisper how thankful she is for you while she strokes your head or your back

#bingoboingobongo.com #bingoboingobongo's january fluff alphabet #ghost cod #ghost x reader #ghost fluff #soap cod #soap fluff #soap x reader #gaz cod #gaz fluff #gaz x reader #john price cod #john price fluff #john price x reader #alejandro vargas fluff #alejandro vargas x reader #alejandro vargas cod #rodolfo parra cod #rodolfo parra fluff #rodolfo parra x reader #valeria garza cod #valeria garza x reader #valeria garza fluff #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #cod #mw2

[worlds-oldest-teenager]

Why I think Apollo is the golden child and not the scapegoat.

To me both Apollo and Athena are Zeus's golden children.

At first it makes sense that Apollo would be the scapegoat of the family cause of how disproportionate the punishment is when most of his family (Athena & Ares) Have done much worse. The way Apollo narrates as well makes him seem like he gets the blame for everything.

But if we really get into the head honcho himself's brain, the punishment is fitting for the crime Apollo's committed. In his mind Ares and Athena's crimes are excusable. Ares is violent, bloodthirsty and war bringing and he's given up on that child ages ago. (I'd argue that Ares is the real scapegoat of the family)

Athena is interesting. She's very clearly at fault for this war even more so than Apollo. So why doesn't she get punished at all?

I think the reason he comes down so hard on Apollo and not on Athena is cause of their motivations. Athena causing the schism over some statues was because of her righteous anger at the Romans for demoting her to a craft goddess. It was a decision she made millennia ago that any other god, at least in Zeus's opinion, would have also made. They literally stole her and made her nothing which is something no god takes lightly.

Apollo is a whole other story.

The reasons behind Apollo conspiring with Octavian are blurry but what we can acknowledge is that he at least promised to put him above Zeus which is complete high treason on Apollo's part for actually going along with it.

Hoping on Ares just invites disappointment. Athena's the golden child who's actions are perfectly acceptable in his twisted mind. But Apollo? Apollo should be the perfect son, and most of the time he is. He's got the most domains. He's won so many times that the very symbol of victory is one of his symbols.

Athena and Apollo's relationship, from the very little we've seen, also confirms this. They seem to have a deep mutual respect for each other and an understanding that comes from being in the exact same situation.  Apollo loves her enough to give her a nickname. Athena is (I think) the only god to almost stand up to Zeus when he blamed Apollo for the whole war. To me their dynamic doesn't really read as a golden child/ scapegoat dynamic but more like mutual golden children with one absolutely having the potential to kill their father. They're kind of ride or die but they would not die for each other lmao.

So I think Athena and Apollo share the same dysfunctional family role. It's just that sometimes Apollo goes a little astray yenno? He's learnt to sand down his rough edges since he was a godling but at least twice before, he's absolutely lost it and forced his father's hand. But it was nothing a little correction couldn't handle. Now he's back to being Zeus's perfect son and continues being so for thousands of years.

That's why him conspiring to overthrow Zeus is such a collosal betrayal. This level of anger and hurt doesn't make sense to me if Apollo is the scapegoat. It makes much more sense if he's Zeus's beloved son who he thought loved him as much as he did.

Even his confrontation with Apollo in blood of Olympus was blamey, sure, but it was also a bitterly disappointed kind of angry. I really feel like he was using the war to justify punishing Apollo so harshly for an affront against himself.  (Way to state the obvious).

Pjo Zeus just doesn't really seem to care about most of the problems anyone is facing  until there's real potential that it could turn deadly against himself. He has a prophecy of his son overthrowing him to think about. Golden child or not, nay especially if it's his golden child, they cannot ever think doing such a thing is acceptable or that they are capable of it.

And in that way the punishment kind of fits, right? Try to put yourself above the king of the gods? Get supremely humbled with the most embarrassing experience of your life fighting your nightmare of a nemesis who nearly killed you as a child.

Zeus and Apollo reuniting on Olympus after his trials cements my point. What is Zeus's confirmation that all is right and his son is back in his rightful place? Is it 'I apologize' or 'I love you ' ? No. It's, "You have done me proud ". Because this is who Apollo is meant to be. An object of pride that Zeus doesn't love so much as appreciate when the light from his trophy child reflects on himself.

#toa analysis #trials of apollo #pjo apollo #pjo zeus

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Derin, you once said that posting consistently in a web series is very important for the growth of audience. But how do you keep yourself motivated to create stories on schedule? Whenever I try to do it, I just lose motivation and get stressed out or bored with my project

My answer is to have a big buffer. I aim to have a buffer of at least one year's worth of chapters. That way, I can take a month or two off every now and then to avoid burnout. It is also far, far less stressful. Not having a buffer is the most stressful thing a writer can do, do not do that.

So far as long-term sticking to projects goes, there's a few skills involved here and all of them involve a lot of practice. The first thing is what I call the Shiny New Fruit problem. This is something you see pretty much every newbie writer doing -- they get a great idea for a story, they know how it's gonna start, they have a cool premise and a twist that's gonna BLOW EVERYONE'S MIND, it'll be great! They start writing! Their first chapter is cool and unique and full of promise, and they get great feedback, and they move onto the second chapter and it's also great, and...

Quite quickly, they run out of "great chapters". Most of the time, the start of your story is low hanging fruit, so far as writing goes -- it's where you get to introduce all your cool concepts and you're not weighed down by anything established yet and all the Cool Stuff That's Gonna Happen is still in the future, it's your perfect imagined version of it and not the (usually worse) version that ends up on the page. Then you run out of low hanging fruit, and it gets slower and harder, and you have to do a lot more actual work and it doesn't feel so new and exciting any more, and a newbie writer thinks, "oh, this isn't as fun, the story feels more boring to write, that part didn't come out as well as I'd hoped -- this story must be bad". And sometimes they might give up right away. Or instead they might continue... but they're distracted, because solving the issue of how to get those two guys out of prison in chapter 6 just gave them the BEST idea for a different story, it's gonna be so much better, the characters are great and they can already feel the words pouring out of them and...

So they run off to pick the low-hanging fruit for their new story, and before they know it, they have nine unfinished stories on their hard drive and not a completed story to their name.

Every writer will get distracted and enthused about new ideas for projects. This isn't a newbie problem. The newbie problem is letting them tempt you away from the viable projects you're already working on so that nothing gets done. My solution to this is very simple -- I am not allowed to write my future projects until I finish my current one. This way, all that enthusiasm for the future project is transmuted into motivation for the current one -- I can write that cool story about a bug alien who adopts and astronaut but first I have to push through the slow part of this story and get this story finished. This has always worked really well for me.

The second reason that you might lose motivation for a story you're working on is that the story is indeed bad, or at least, the version of it incubating in your mind isn't ready yet. The problem with this is that every story feels bad when you're bored or frustrated with it, and it takes a lot of practice to tell the difference between a genuine dud idea and one that your brain is lying to you about because it wants to play computer games instead. My advice on these is to push through anyway -- it almost certainly isn't a dud idea, and if it is, you'll learn way more by completing it than abandoning it.

The third reason is burnout. Now, it's important to note that everyone is bored and frustrated with their stories sometimes. I got sick of writing space intrigue and took a month off to play Subnautica (I could afford to do this with no stress because of my massive chapter buffer), then came back when I felt like it -- that isn't burnout. I've procrastinated for weeks before because I'm up to a really complicated scene with a lot of emotional beats and new information and it's hard to write so I don't wanna -- that isn't burnout. Burnout is what you get when you don't manage these things properly for way too long and grind your brain to paste. I have a lot of tips for avoiding burnout, but they'd take a long time to explain, so all I'll say here is that learning to recognise and avoid burnout is a skill that you will gain with experience.

The fourth reason that people get bored and frustrated is that writing is a skill, and it's a lot harder to do than it looks. Writing when you're not in Full Inspiration Mode is exhausting. It's difficult. It almost always looked worse on the page than you expected; your favourite authors do so much better than this, why doesn't your work look like theirs? It's just words! You know words!

This one trips a lot of newbies up, because in Full Inspiration Mode, writing is easy. someone can have five chapters pour out of them in that mode, and then look at their page two days later and go, "huh, writing is so much harder today". then they'll call that "writer's block" (that is NOT writer's block) and decide to write again when they "feel inspired".

Do not do this. It's a trap. If you only write when you're inspired, you will not succeed as a writer. Take advantage of your periods of inspiration, obviously, but writers must learn to forge ahead without them, because they're going to get fewer and smaller as the low hanging fruit all get picked and you simply will not keep up with a schedule relying on them, whether it's a web serial update schedule or a deadline given to you by a publisher or simply the desire to have a manuscript ready to pitch to an agent before you die of old age. The world is full of people who are "writing a book" and have been doing so for thirty years with almost no progress. If you want to finish, you need to write when it's a bit tricky, when it's a bit boring, when you're not inspired at all and aren't entirely certain where things are going. Fortunately this, like everything else here, is a skill that is honed with practice.

So, yeah. That's my advice. Have a chapter buffer, the bigger the better. Make sure that your writing pace is faster than your publication pace. Avoid these quitting/stopping pitfalls. That's pretty much it.

[impyssadobsessions]

Your Halfa!Dash AU is really interesting. Can we please see his ghost form? Or like, get a description of it. Also, does Sam and Tucker ever find out the truth? Would love to see their reaction and what they decide to do(can totally see them helping out). Lastly, what does the town call ghost-form Dash? Do they call him Invisbill? Phantom? Or does he go by something else entirely?

Actually I have more Posts on Halfa!Dash AU~ One with the ghost form. I'll post all the links to everything that has Halfa Dash that I've done. Sam and Tucker find out later, though at first they're hurt that Danny spending more time with Dash. Then they think Dash is blackmailing Danny, especially when they hear from Jazz about them "dating". Jazz didn't know they didn't know and they kind of pieced it together what little she slipped. They definitely do help out.. though threaten Dash that they'll be the one he has to worry about ripping him apart if anything happens to Danny. Despite Danny having explained the situation. I haven't thought of a name much. BullRush maybe? But it might be more of an attack he names. It won't be phantom. Though can see Danny suggest it or mutters what he would have named himself LOL Because I can see Dash having different sets of powers and a different core than Danny. Very reliant on his strength and speed. Not so much on his aim. Good thing Danny learns how to shoot the ghost blaster. Though he has some trial and error too. He just can't help but help. (He will be spicy about it though) And since Dash NEEDS Danny he has to work on his temper. Danny does push his limits with it sometimes because he knows he has the upper hand. He does get karma for it because it does go too far at one point. Oooo what if that karma is Spectre and Dash is so depressed.. Jazz even points out Danny is being too spiteful. So Danny has to comfort Dash so he can save his sister and the school. Dash like y'know what.. I'd probably done worse. "You have." "....I thought this was about making me feel better, Fenton." "It is, but I'm not going to lie. You're better than you use to be. Funny enough, I think its pretty common for death defying experiences to change someone's life.. or after life... or something like that. Jazz is better at explaining it-" "JAZZ!!!" (remembers she's in danger)

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dash baxter #halfa dash #Halfa! Dash #asks #impyelam #Halfa!Dash AU #role swap au