getting older can be so amazing? you get more familiar with yourself. learn tips & tricks for troubleshooting your own brain. trial & error helps you build routines that minimize discomfort, maximize reward. your preferences/interests don't get set in stone, but you do find out which ones are going to stay with you in the long-term, and which ones are fun but transient joys to appreciate in the moment.
you learn that the world is so much more complex than you were taught, and that that's okay, and that there's an endless supply of things you can learn or watch or experience or think about if you want to. if you're lucky, you loosen up, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. if you're lucky, you learn to recognize that negative inner voice, and whack it with a baseball bat until it hushes up. if you're lucky, you learn to treat yourself gently, not because you are fragile but because you are worthy of gentleness. (i hope you are lucky.)
and some things will change. some things will get better. some things will get good. and maybe you start to recover from the dehumanizing stress of childhood/education. maybe you learn the power of your own autonomy. maybe you learn how to walk away from bad situations (which is a superpower even if you don't realize it yet). and you get to choose your own clothes. and your own food. and which relationships to pursue! and what you do with your free time. and with your life (but don't worry you get to choose that gradually). and that's crazy! and sometimes scary. and extraordinarily, indescribably precious.
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the thing that really gets me about mizumono is that will doesn’t even fight back. he saw alana mangled outside. he knows jack might be dead. he has a loaded gun in hand. but not once does he try to hurt hannibal. he doesn’t even shoot. will just lets him caress his cheek, fingers curling into his hair. there’s no resistance. when hannibal stabs him, will leans into it. he doesn’t want to escape. and it all hurts so badly because it’s not like will tricked hannibal into loving him; he simply persuaded him that he might love him back. because that’s what will thought hannibal did to him in s1, and only now does he realise that maybe it was more real for hannibal than he thought. or worse, that maybe he wants to be with hannibal regardless of whether hannibal genuinely loves him. that maybe it’s worth it to be close to him, even if his touch splits his stomach open
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I think we should talk about the fact that satyrs age at half the speed that mortals do??
Grover was 28 in The Lighting Thief, physically 14, so...
Grover was 23 when he found Luke, Annabeth, and Thalia, and physically 11/12. Presumably mentally to some extent as well, considering, y'know. He doesn't exactly act like a 30 year old in the series.
He was older than Annabeth.
He was the same age as Thalia.
He was younger than Luke.
I wonder if Luke looked at this boy, seemingly the same age as Thalia but technically so much older, and seethed. Or maybe he couldn't bring himself to, because Luke hates, he hates so much, but it's a little harder when the face he tries to hate is round with baby fat and overtaken by teary eyes it hasn't quite grown into yet. It's a little harder when the face he tries to hate shares so many traits with the face of his best friend.
I wonder if Annabeth looked at this boy, once so much bigger than her, and realized that they could go to the same middle school class and not be questioned. That they could wear the same size now and it would fit — or hers might even be a bit bigger, really, because he's always been so scrawny.
I wonder if Thalia looked at this boy, fresh after her resurrection, and noticed that– well, he's not unchanged, he has grown, but it's not Luke-is-an-adult or Annabeth-is-a-teen grown; it's the same grown she sees in the mirror, maybe two or three years worth of it. And it's odd, because everyone else is so much older, but it brings her to tears sometimes, because at least someone is the age they should be, relative to her.
(She gets more used to it, once she halts her aging herself, but it's still something she clings to in those first days-weeks-months of her revival)
I wonder if Percy looked at this boy, his best friend since middle school, to see him becoming younger and younger. He was a little older than him, at first — by the time he's twenty, though, the roles have reversed. The gap only gets bigger and more noticeable with age. Grover never seems like an actual kid next to him, not the way Thalia does, but Percy is thirty and Grover hasn't even hit twenty-five. He tries to ignore it; he doesn't like to think much about his mortality in the face of everything, not after he was forced to do so every day of his teenage years.
I wonder if Grover ever looked at this boy in the mirror and compared himself to his friends, to the kids at Camp that were still missing their front teeth when he met them but now look so much older, and thinks about how painfully mortal they are in spite of their divinity.
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Remember that all of chapter 1 and 2 happens in the span of 2 days.
Vertin met Schneider for that short of a time (on Valentine's Day, no less) and managed to have to most whirlwind goncharov ass doomed tragic could-have-been with each another in prohibition era Chicago; has to watch her almost die in her arms; ends up traumatized by oranges because her; then goes into a actual coma after watching her actually die in her arms.
Tender is the Night? WRONG. more like Painful is the Night.
I'm never emotionally recovering from this im suing bluepoch.
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this is somewhat of a vent post & something i said i would not do again but has been plaguing me enough that i think getting it out might feel better. so. has anydoggy else been. Baffled and upset by nora sakavic’s refusal to speak on how terribly aftg has treated its characters of color? with the author of the series coming back with a new book and starting up on her online activity again, and questions of what she’d change about aftg bubbling up, it’s particularly glaring to me that we are all playing this very long game of pretend where we ignore how badly the non-white cast has been treated & her lack of thoughts on it
and i understand not wanting to bring up nicky and thea because people pick on her for it. i’m not trying to discredit nora sakavic’s terrible history of getting harrassed online by aftg fans. but i think it is very cynical, and it is very juvenile, and most of all very cruel, that she gets to ignore the very real ways the books have set up these characters to be hated. i think it’s obvious why the characters who get the most hate are the only canonical characters of color, and i think we do not get to treat this like a deliberate decision on the fandom’s part when the books have put these same characters in degrading and embarrassing and terrible positions in the first place. aftg is not a story about nice characters with clean pasts, but there is a very specific nastiness to the only characters of color being a brown man who sexually harasses and later assaults the main character, a black woman whose only scene is her lashing out at her love interest after being ignored for the first two books, and the japanese villain who gets maybe two lines of complexity before he goes back to being a terrible person. the white cast, in comparison, while not at all free from flaws, are never shown to commit mindless evil; all of their actions are ultimately justified. the book goes out of its way to give them concession after concession. we know exactly who to side with, because aftg tells us who these people are. does nicky’s assault ever get addressed in the books? does riko’s reasoning to be the way that he is ever gets more than briefly aluded to? is thea reserved even a shred of humanity or grace in her one scene?
anyway. it’s been years of talking about this and the fandom has been constantly hostile to criticism in this regard, and more recently any criticism at all, and it’s Grating to be on the other side of this discussion. it’s exhausting to know that in ten years we do not get even an acknowledgment besides the author saying she will not answer questions about nicky and thea anymore. it’s upsetting and it’s ugly and i wish no one had to talk about this again, but we do because what i thought was common sense has been washed away by a sudden influx of no-nuance adoration for the trilogy. basically i hope we all explode
two hours later edit: you're allowed to reblog this! sorry about the confusion
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You ever think about how Garroth and Laurance’s fears could’ve been so much more interesting than what we got during the Malachi Arc? Like. Just imagine.
Garroth being cornered by a woman in a wedding dress, face covered by a veil as she says how nice it is to meet him even though her voice is flat, words clearly only for the politics. A voice echoing through the halls, saying things about lordship and domination and how Garroth will carry on his legacy whether he wants to or not because it is his duty.
Flames circling Laurance, people he loves and cares about standing lifelessly on the other side telling him how much of a monster he is, that their blood is on his hands. Other shadow knights standing with him in the circle, familiar faces or obscured by armor doesn’t matter because they’re treating him like a friend and not an enemy as the Shadow Lord’s voice crackles through the fire, telling him how well he’s done.
Or yknow. I guess Aphmau and Dante kissing works ig
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