#did they fuck their feelings out marry for convenience or kill each other in an alternate universe you decide

[rad-batson]

Batlantern Headcanons Because I Found My New Brainrot and I Cannot Contain Myself (Platonic or Romantic, You Decide <3)

Hal is the only one who gets away with calling Bruce nicknames. Oliver tried calling Bruce “Spooky” once. He still has nightmares.

Several long-winded missions combined with Hal’s couch-surfing escapades have resulted in Hal having his own official Wayne guest room.

Alfred has smacked Hal with a dish towel several times. Reasons include: trying to wash the dishes, using a mini vac that he brought from home, and spitting gum into the garbage without wrapping it in a tissue first.

Tim gave Hal all of their streaming passwords to piss Bruce off. Hal proceeded to make his own profiles because he fears nothing, so Bruce changed all of his profile names to “Parasite.” Since then, it’s turned into an all-out war of renaming Hal’s profile every time they’re using it.

Highlights so far have included Sugar Baby, Freeloader, Ring Pop, Green Abomination, Magical Girl, Noisemaker, The Better Side Piece, and This is Your Official Eviction Notice Hal. (Bruce still hasn’t changed the passwords.)

Hal: You need to let go of your fear, Bats. Let’s do a simple breathing exercise. Bruce: I am breathing. Hal: No, like calming breaths. Follow my lead, okay? In- no, not that fast. Maybe close your eyes first. In…and out-No. No. Are you having a panic attack? Do I need to call someone?

For one mission, a few other JL members had to go undercover as couples. Bruce and Hal were the spares and paired up out of necessity. To everyone’s surprise, however, they were the most convincing duo because they “bickered like an old married couple.”

Bruce: I’m growing soft, Clark. I’m weak now. Clark: You told Hal ‘Good job.’ What’s wrong with that? Bruce: It’s unprofessional! *in the other room* Hal: I think Batman just confessed his undying love to me.

They have each other’s coffee orders memorized and regularly prepare the other’s coffee for them out of habit when they’re together.

After a while, Hal stops playfully flirting with everyone and reserves it only for Bruce because he gives the best reactions.

At a ‘Thank You, Justice League’ party hosted by Bruce Wayne, Hal slips up and flirts with Bruce in his civvies, only for Brucie Wayne to flirt back without missing a beat.

Hal had to go cool down in the bathroom for a few minutes. He was not ready for that. (Bruce is so fucking smug too. He’s been waiting FOREVER to give Hal a taste of his own medicine.)

Hal, introducing Bruce to the Lantern Corp: This is my pet bat. Careful, he bites.

Bruce, introducing Hal to new JL members: This is my partner. He’s been in training for ten years.

During an important strategy meeting, Hal waves his hand around, and Bruce just sighs. “What now, Lantern?” “Your plan of attack has like four holes in it.” “Where?” Hal gestures to the areas and suggests different strategies, and suddenly Bruce is like Does anyone else think it’s hot in here?

He lies in bed that night contemplating every single life event that’s lead up to Hal Fucking Jordan turning him on with his impeccable battle strategy.

Barry: I think Batman’s mad at me. He didn’t even react when I told him about the great rescue mission from last week. Hal: What do you mean? He was smiling the whole time. Barry: His face didn’t move an inch. Hal: You didn’t notice the lip twitch?

Batman has blackmail material on every single Justice League member, but only Hal has blackmail material on Bruce and the guts to use it. (Hal knows Bruce gets pedicures for fun. And he gets little designs on his toes too.)

Arthur: So when did you and Green Lantern start….you know. Bruce: No, I do not. What did we start? Arthur: You know what?! I think I forgot to walk my fish. Bye!

*Barry sees Hal with a hickey while they’re drinking coffee* Barry, jokingly: Did Bruce give you that? Hal: Yes, actually. How’d you know? Barry, backing away frantically: Oh okay, cool! Okay okay. Cool. Cool cool cool. Okay. Bruce, entering: What’s with him? Hal: I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to like the mug you bought me, though.

The JL has a betting pool called “BatLantern FMK” where they bet on which will happen first: will they fuck, marry, or kill each other?

Only Clark, Diana, and J’onn know that one of them happened already

#batlantern #they're made for each other your honor #batman lives through fear and hal has NO fear #did they fuck their feelings out marry for convenience or kill each other in an alternate universe you decide #batlantern are my little blorbos #i will die on this hill #bruhal #batman #green lantern #bruce wayne #hal jordan #dc #justice league #dc universe #dc comics #brucie wayne #alfred pennyworth #tim drake #oliver queen #barry allen #clark kent #j'onn j'onzz #diana prince #arthur curry

[beybaldes]

*･゜ﾟ･* okay so more then one person (thank you anons and reblogs and comments <333) asked for it so… (also super special shout-out to my love @alwritey-aphrodite who’s talented mind is always full of the most perfect Sejanus thoughts and is always willing to talk them through with me <33)*･゜ﾟ･* mention of smut but non written

sejanus plinth as your oblivious boyfriend

- okay so first things first, the obliviousness very much comes across as innocence to most to people

- it definitely doesn’t help that he blushes every time you look at him or touch him or talk to him either

- wether reaching for your hand, kissing you, holding you, it doesn’t matter Sejanus’s cheeks are deep red and hot to the touch

- it’s ridiculously sweet and so Sejanus

- that’s something you notice really quickly into your relationship; that everything he does is just so… him

- one of those being the way he squeezes your hands to let you know he loves you because sometimes he struggles to get the words out (because he just gets speechless around you)

- or the way he will drag you into his lap at every given convenience because he loves it more then anything

“wait, there’s no more chairs, let me grab one.” You pressed a chaste kiss to Sejanus’s lips, missing the way his cheeks flushed as you turned to find an empty seat to bring to the table. “Be one second.”

“No need, sweetheart.” Sejanus wrapped his hand around your wrist, pulling you into his lap with a soft thud. His arm almost immediately wrapped around your waist and squeezed, while the other moved from your wrist to your hand, playing with your fingers. He turns his head slightly to face yours, noses brushing at the suddenly closer proximity between the two of you - taking advantage of the position he finds himself in, Sejanus captures your lips with his in a soft, loving kiss. When he finally pulls away leaving your breathless, he looks a little disheveled, and you think you fall in love with him a little more. “Sorry Coryo, you were saying?”

- another of those being how he kisses you like there’s no tomorrow every damn time, like it’s the last time he’ll ever do it and he has to get all of his emotions out and into you

- fucks you like that too

- after your first kiss in the hallway of the academy however, it does take him a while to build up the confidence for him to kiss you without you initiating it (just like he had to with holding your hand)

- and when he finally initiates a kiss for the first time, it’s in his bedroom while Ma and Mr Plinth are downstairs

legs tangled together, your head against his chest, uniforms wrinkling as you cuddled further into each-other and Sejanus’s fingers ran through your hair. “And that one is andromeda.”He pointed at the glow in the dark stars that he and his ma had stuck to his bedroom ceiling when he first moved to the capital. “And beside her is Perseus. Two lovers immortalised in the stars forever.”

“How did they become lovers?” You asked, turning to look up at sejanus, your cheek pressing against his chest.

“They believe that on his way home from slaying Medusa, Perseus found Andromeda chained to a rock as she was supposed to be sacrificed to a sea god. But instead, he killed the sea monster, saved andromeda and married her.” Sejanus smiles and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve seen; something soft and all-consumed with the love he feels for you. “I think they are my favourite constellations.”

You leaned into the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss under his jaw, and then returning to your place against his chest, ear against his beating heart. “And why’s that Sej?”

He looked down at you, a soft smile pulling on his lips. “They remind me of us.” Before you could ask how they did, he continued with an explanation, his hand moving to cradle your face. “Feel like you found me… saved me. You saw the boy from the districts when no one else did, saved me from losing that part of me to the claws of the Capitol, and one day - if I’m lucky - maybe you’ll marry me too.”

When he finishes speaking the two to you are looking at each other, lips a hairs length apart and just begging to share a kiss. As you’re about to ask, Sejanus leans forward and puts his lips on yours - the first time he’s ever kissed you, rather then you kissing him - and it ignited a hunger in the pit of your stomach. Leaning into the kiss, you wrapped the arm that had previously been across his stomach around his neck, pulling yourself further up his body and into his touch. Sejanus aided in your mission, lifting you over him so that you now sat in his lap, lips never leaving the touch of the other the entire time. You have no doubt that the kids would’ve escalated further if it hadn’t been for the shout of his Ma calling the two of you for dinner.

when you finally pull away from each-other it’s with heaving chests, tousled hair, swollen lips and red cheeks. “you’re quite the charmer, sejanus, did you know?”

a laugh bubbled from Sejanus’s chest, his head tilting back and hitting the headboard gently as she admired you. “if the way you kissed me has anything to say on the matter, then, yes, yes I do.”

- dinner, this time at least, was still warm when you made it to the table to meet his parents for the first time as his partner

- however the first time you’d ever come over to the plinths house was just as his friend, but Ma had known from the moment she saw you, the two of you would end up together

- so had Strabo, not that he’d ever admit he cared enough to know

- you had been 9 years old and walked in their front door hand in hand with their son; who they’d so far assumed had made no real friends in the Capitol

- you had a wide and bright smile with two missing front teeth, and you didn’t even say hello, dragging Sejanus upstairs before he could even say anything to his own parents

- only when you’d finally got upstairs did you pause, turning to Sejanus with a laugh

“Which one is your room?”

- and when Ma called the two of you down for dinner, she finally heard you speak for the first time

“I loved those cookies you made Ma, did you learn how to make them in district 2?”

- that sentence alone had made her certain the two of you would be perfect for each other: not only had Sejanus shared his treats with you, but he’d been comfortable enough to talk about his life in district two with you

- sure, everyone knew the plinths were from two, but that was because of gossips and the arrival of new people to the capital(which never happened) but you were the first person he’d willingly told, and she knew that meant something

- Ma is literally your biggest supporter, always routing for the two of you to be together and happy

- ALWAYS calling you sweetheart, like nonstop 24/7, all day, everyday, everywhere

“sweetheart, you’ve got… here, lemme.” “um, actually, sweetheart…” “come ‘ere, sweetheart, let me get a closer look at that gorgeous face of yours.” “fuuuck, sweetheart, just like that, don’t stop, keep going.” “gimme a kiss, sweetheart.”

- however, when he’s not calling you sweetheart, Sejanus is loser bf incarnate

- like SUCH a loser but very much in an Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker kind of way

- you will be giving him every sign in the book, practically throwing yourself at him and he’ll just be like ‘what are we?’

- this doesn’t ever go away in the entire course of your relationship

- you’re very glad that you were so upfront about explaining your feelings for him initially because otherwise you know you wouldn’t have got together

- the first time you try and initiate anything more then kissing he had zero idea what was going on

‘sweetheart, what are you- ? I- ahhh- fuck- keep going.’

- literally never initiates anything for the first time because he lives in this constant state of ‘what if they don’t really like me :((((‘

- he’ll still be like that if you’re 80 and old and grey and married

- like there are 10 million things you love about him and he doesn’t understand a single one for some strange reason???? And is always doubting himself?????

it’s nearly midnight and Sejanus still can’t sleep. he’s tried, he really, really has - he’s tossed and turned, cracked open the window, counted sheep and tried drinking warm milk like his ma used to make, but nothing was working. the cool air of a mid summers night breezes through the bedroom as he turns on his side to face you, beautiful you. You who’s hair spreads out against the in a hall around your head, who is sleeping peacefully yet still turns into the warmth of Sejanus’s touch when he wraps an arm around you. He doesn’t know what he’s ever done or will do to justify the universe letting him be yours. He hopes in the darkest hour of the summers night he’ll never have to find out.

“You should take a picture.” You murmured, breaking the warmed silence of the room. “It’ll last longer.” a smile curled on your lips even as you kept your eyes closed, turning your head deeper into the soft pillow in hopes sleep would find you again. when it didn’t, Sejanus’s eyes still on you keeping you awake, you pulled yourself closer to him, eyes finally opening. “What’s wrong baby… can’t sleep?”

“Why are you with me?” Sejanus asked bluntly, face lacking the warmth it usually held. “Like, seriously, why? I don’t-“

you cut him off with a firm poke to his shoulder. “Don’t even go there.” A hand came up to caress his cheek, running along the smile lines that had only deepened with age. Sejanus leaned into your touch, eyes closing as he preened into the love that exuded from your palm alone. “I can’t name a single thing I don’t absolutely, completely, utterly and truly love about you.”

Your hand moved to run through his curls, still as dark as when you’d met him, but now with streaks of grey running through it. He looked so handsome growing old, especially at your side. “I love how kind and selfless you are, and how you stand up for what you think is right regardless of what others think. I love how you know who you are and how you know everyone you loves coffee order just in case. I love how your brows pinch when you’re confused or worried and how your smile lights up every room you walk in to. God, Sejanus, I’d marry you again, and again, and again, if I could.”

Sejanus pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, a slightly softer one immediately pressed to the skin just under your eyelid as soon as your lips left yours. “Thank you.” He whispered, as if saying it could make you take it all back. “I love you.”

- he’s so freaking in love with you

an : thanks for the love on the first part!! Hope you enjoyed mwah <33

tags : @marjorieisreading @celestialstar111 <33

#beybaldes hc !! #sejanus plinth oneshot #sejanus plinth imagine #sejanus plinth x reader #tbosbas x reader

[adamstnheights]

Second Chances - Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader

Summary: Ever since your unit merged with Task Force 141 one year ago, your dynamic with Ghost had been confusing to the others. At first, it just seemed like the two of you didn’t get along. Then, it was clear that you and Ghost didn’t like each other at all. But in the last couple of months, Soap has noticed a shift. Sometimes he catches you staring at Ghost during briefings, with some sort of a sparkle in your eye. He notices the way Ghost moves to position himself between you and someone who might not be trustworthy. He sees how you rush to Ghost’s side when he’s injured in combat and the way you whisper reassuring things to him as you tie a bandage around his wound. Surely… something must have happened between the two of you, right? Soap decides to find out for himself.

Content: Reader uses she/her pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, Past relationship, Angsty flashback where Ghost is kind of really mean, Ghost not feeling like he deserves love, Near death experiences, Angst with a happy ending, Supportive bestie Soap, Talking about feelings, Making up, Reassurance, Soft Ghost

Word Count: 5.5k

Soap finally finds out the deal with you two during a night out drinking with the rest of the crew. You weren’t there, because you weren’t really one for drinks, but surprisingly, Ghost was also absent. He never would get as rowdy and excited from a night out as the rest of the guys did, but he’d usually never pass up drinks. Soap wondered if he was with you.

Soap thought back to earlier that day at training, how he noticed Ghost’s hand on the small of your back. With his other hand, he had patted you on the shoulder in a more friendly ‘Good job’ way, but the way his other hand brushed along down your back was certainly something different. Soap had stared wide-eyed from across the workout room, unashamedly, because he knew both of you were too caught up in the other to even notice. And he needed to commit all of his evidence to memory, anyways. Now, as he looked around at the table, conveniently missing both you and the lieutenant, Soap thought he might as well ask the question—see if he’s crazy for the things he’d noticed recently.

“So… er, anyone know what the deal is with Y/N and Ghost?” He asked.

Soap thought there’d be laughter or at least some smiles amongst the group, because there was absolutely no way that only he had picked up on the ways Ghost’s edge would soften around you. It seemed like a right opportunity for the rest of the guys to tease Ghost for acting all soft and sweet, but instead, the group fell silent.

“What the—um, did I say something wrong?” Soap scrambled. “I mean, come on, there’s no way I’m the only one who sees the way they make ‘fuck me’ eyes at each other during training, right?”

Gaz almost choked on his drink. Everyone else at the table looked over at Price. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“They— Uh— Look, you know the Lieutenant doesn’t like his shit being talked about,” Price said lowly, “But I think everyone here must have some idea of what their deal is… Well, they used to be together. Together together, probably about five or six years. The both of em were in the army for years, just in different units and such. But a… near death experience really got him fucked up. And around that same time, Y/N had been talking about getting married, but however jumbled up Ghost’s brain’d got from what happened—he said no. Told her they couldn’t get married because… for some reason he was absolutely convinced that he’d get killed in action and he didn’t want to hurt her like that. As if breaking things off with her wasn’t a million times more hurtful. And things were manageable when they were in different units, but two years back, her squad merged with ours, as you know. I think they were forced to confront what had happened. It’s fuckin’ obvious that Ghost’s feelings haven’t changed ’bout her. I’m sure he knows what he did was a mistake—he just doesn’t know how to admit it. They basically act like they’re married anyways, or at least, still together. It’s ridiculous.”

Soap couldn’t believe it. He’d seen Ghost make some poor decisions on the battlefield before, and the way he would always refuse to get medical attention after a particularly hard mission annoyed Soap to no end, but saying no to getting married to you was certainly the stupidest thing he’s done—Soap now knew that for sure. His heart broke just a little more for the secretive couple; the sweet, fleeting moments he’d caught between them now seemed even more bittersweet knowing their history. He wondered how on fucking Earth you’d put up with him for the past two years, seeing him practically every day you were on active duty. You were a strong woman for not punching Ghost in the face for what he’d done; Soap was greatly considering leaving the bar, finding wherever the fuck the lieutenant went, and doing just that.

“Fuckin’ Jesus… And… she’s just okay with that? And with being around him all the time after that? I would have requested a fuckin’ transfer the moment I realized,” Soap fumed, anger rising in his chest on behalf of you.

“I think…” Price stopped for a moment, really thinking about it. His mouth formed a somber smile and he turned more towards Soap. “I think she would rather see him every day, even if it hurts, just to have the reassurance that he’s alive and well.”

“What a right fuckin’ bastard,” Soap cursed. 

———

When the group returned to base, Soap passed by Ghost’s room on the way to his own. The door was closed, as always, and he couldn’t hear anything coming from the other side. It looked dark, except for a bit of dim light shining through the crack under the door, leading Soap to believe he was probably in there. He always betted on the Lieutenant living off of only an hour of sleep a night. Maybe he was just laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling like the strange fucker he was.

Soap slipped into his own room, hanging up his jacket in the closet. He hesitated, only for a brief moment, before stepping back out into the hallway and making his way over to the other side of the building, where your room was. Unlike Ghost’s eerily quiet room, soft music could be heard from the other side of your door as Soap approached. He knocked.

“Who is it?” You asked.

“Jus’ me,” Soap announced, knowing his accent was enough for you to know who it was.

You turned the music off and unlocked the door, opening it. 

“Hey, Johnny,” you smiled, moving aside to let him in. “Weren’t you and the guys out at the bar? D’you want to use one of my face masks again?” Whenever Soap got drunk, he enjoyed raiding your skincare collection. The last time he’d stumbled into your room after a night of drinking, Ghost had walked by your room as well (now Soap knew why he was stopping by) and saw you and Soap putting the scented, damp masks on your faces. Ghost had shook his head and mumbled something about the two of you looking ridiculous, to which Soap had said that they actually looked a lot like him! (Hey, L.T., there’s even little eye holes in this thing, kind of like your mask!)

Soap shook his head, much more sober than any of the nights that he came by for his silly shenanigans. The ride home thinking about your and Ghost’s history certainly sobered him up a lot. He knew it was truly none of his business, but the two of you had become so close over the years, Soap almost felt offended that you’d never told him before.

“Not this time,” he said softly, “I, er, wanted to talk to you, a’tually.”

You suddenly became serious, not knowing what he’d want to talk about. Was something wrong?

“Of course, what’s going on?”

Soap sighed. There was no easy way to ease into the subject. “Price told us about you and Ghost. I’m sorry, I know it’s none of my business, but I pried and and we were all kind of drunk and he told us.”

“Oh.” You choked out quietly. “Right. I mean— He… everything?”

“Mostly,” Soap replied, “About you two being together for a long time before… and then something happened with Ghost and he pulled back from you… and him saying no—” You buried your head in your hands, a small whimper leaving your lips. Soap shut up and went to sit next to you on the edge of the bed, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said.

When you dropped your hands from your face, your eyes were shiny with tears, and a few had run down your cheeks. You wiped them off with your sleeve quickly, looking at Soap with a pathetic smile. “I knew you were looking at us weird the other day,” you said, “When we were in the hallway talking, and you came up behind us and gave me a look… I didn’t know what you were thinking… I didn’t know if you’d seen the way I was looking at him.”

“Can I ask you something blunt?” Soap asked slowly, unsure if he should even be asking at all. You nodded. “Why… why’re you acting all civil ’round ’im? I mean… how can you stand to be around him after what happened?”

You remember back to what was the beginning of the end.

———

He’d been captured and tortured—almost to death—for a week before 141 found him. Price had called you the moment Simon was loaded into the ambulance, and you had rushed off of the base you were on to the hospital. You were in a different unit, so you had no idea what kind of a mission 141 had been on or what had happened. Even Price didn’t know everything—only Simon knew what happened in that torture chamber, and even then, a lot of it was lost from memory since he had faded in and out of consciousness. All Price had told you was that he was tortured (but that he was a good soldier, he didn’t give up any information) and that it was all too close. Simon had a fair amount of violent exchanges under his belt, more than you could count. But you could tell from the somberness in his voice that this time, it was really too close. You’d shuddered at the reality that Simon could have died. You’d pushed past everyone else and ran into the hospital room where he was.

He was groggy, mostly unconscious. He was hooked up to a heart monitor, slowly beating. You’d run to kneel at the side of the bed, resting your forehead on his arm. You were sobbing. Simon was awake enough to realize your presence, but he could barely move. His body was riddled with stab wounds, his skin was still stained with dirt and blood. As much as he yearned to sit up and hold you, he also wanted to push you away, not allow you to see him like that. He didn’t want you to cry. He didn’t want to feel helpless lying there while you worried. Somehow, he felt painfully guilty as you stayed in the hospital room with him without question, leaning against your jacket to fall asleep in a chair placed next to his bed.

Of course, Simon had insisted he go home the moment the doctor said it could be allowed—not a second later. You tried to convince him to schedule an appointment for physical therapy and he refused. You mistakenly suggested he take some time off, since the mission was over and he wasn’t actively on duty. He also refused. He said if something came up the next day, he needed to be available to go. You chalked up his refusal to Simon just being Ghost. You knew that side of him, the side that refused help and pushed on, past the pain. What you didn’t know was that laying in that hospital bed for almost two weeks created some kind of ugly rage inside of him, a mix of self-preservation and selfishness and self-sabotage. The moment the two of you got back to your apartment, he was different.

You knew damn well not to baby him, but you just thought that getting some take out from his favorite place would help him feel better, after having to put up with the hospital food and all. You suggested it, and Simon only grumbled and retreated to your room. You assumed he wanted to shower and get changed. After an hour passed, you pushed open the door to see him lying on the bed, back towards the door.

By the next month, his initial coldness seemed to wash away. He was seemingly back to normal, cuddling and kissing you in the mornings and cracking his usual jokes. But deep down, Simon still felt unusually gross. He felt disgusted by himself. He hadn’t felt that way in years, not since he met you. Now, he was having nightmares about being held up in that cell, taunted and stabbed and starved. Over the years, you’d coaxed him to open up to you about any nightmares he may have, any sadness or anger that may be creeping in. But this time, somehow, was different to him. He didn’t want to let you in to what he endured. He didn’t want you to be stuck with him and all of his burdens anymore. So, he would do what he did best: put on a facade.

Another two months passed by and soon it was your six year anniversary. You’d suggested setting up the dining room all fancy, since Simon wasn’t one to go out to eat. You lit candles and used your fancy plates and you put on an outfit you were saving for a special occasion. He had been quieter than usual, but you understood completely. You couldn’t imagine what he had gone through. You would try to get him to open up about his feelings another day. All you wanted was for him to feel loved on such a special day. You did most of the talking at dinner, and you began rambling about how much you love him and how you were grateful for him. As you became more emotional and sentimental, you felt as though it was the perfect time to bring something up. Nothing final or definite, necessarily. But it was something you and Simon had talked about before.

“...And maybe one day soon, we could think about really settling down…you know?” You’d looked up at him with wide, eager eyes, but met with an unfamiliar, blank look. A cold silence filled the room for an uncomfortable amount of time. Simon’s chest tightened. He didn’t want to do this, but he had to.

“What? Are you askin’ me to marry you?” He sounded more angry than excited, and it made your stomach turn.

“I— I mean—” you began to falter, “I don’t have a ring or anything, no, but I mean, before you left a couple months ago we were talking about maybe getting married, and I just thought—”

“That was a long time ago,” Simon said.

You blinked. “So, what, you’re saying… you’ve changed your mind?” Tears began stinging your eyes.

“I’m saying that a lot of shit has happened since then,” he practically spat. You know what he meant, that the last mission—the torture—was going to weigh on him for a while; hell, it would probably affect him for the rest of his life. You weren’t one to expect trauma to be pushed to the side, simply “gotten over.” But you didn’t think it would take him away from you. You thought that you could be there for him, to support him, for the rest of your lives.

“So… what, y–you don’t want to be with me?” You choked out, desperate for him to just say what he meant.

“I don’t think we should get married.” Simon paused, looking down at the table. “And… I don’t think you should be with me.”

You froze. You’d heard him say that before, many times before actually, but it never had that much edge to it. He would say it quietly, when he was feeling self-conscious or sad and thought that he didn’t deserve you, and you would rub circles on his back and kiss him slowly and tell him how much you love him until he felt better. Before, it was a cry for help, a way for him to tell you that he needed your reassurance. But this time, it was a statement, a demand.

“You— You don’t mean that,” you tried to rationalize what he was saying. But Simon was too good; he didn’t break. He shook his head and even though you saw tears run down his cheek he was still being so mean.

“I’m only going to hurt you,” he pushed, “You shouldn’t be with me.” The stitches in his side were hurting him.

He was hurting you, he was right about that. You wanted to let out the sobs that were rising powerfully in your throat, but unlike every time before where Simon would hold you and soothe you, he definitely wouldn’t this time. So you choked back the sobs in an attempt to look slightly composed.

“Are you… asking me or telling me?” You asked.

“You’ll move on,” he continued, as if you hadn’t said anything, “You’ll be okay.” You hated him for not being able to just say the words I’m breaking up with you. But you understood the message loud and clear.

“Simon—” you cried out, desperately, asking him for anything more to work with.

“I think I should take a walk, get some air,” he said quietly, getting up from the table.

“Please don’t do this,” you begged. “We can– We can talk about this more, a–and work something out!”

“I don’t want… I don’t want to raise my voice or yell, love. Please… just let me go.”

You let him walk out of the front door. You had to hold yourself back from shoving everything off of the table. You cried and sobbed into your hands and curled up into a ball. Everything had changed.

Then, just like he predicted, Task Force 141 called him back onto base two days later. He didn’t even say goodbye but you heard him trudging out the door with his military bags that morning. When you got out of bed, you saw he left an envelope of cash on the dining room table. ‘Please take care of yourself,’ he had written on the envelope. You’d wanted so badly to hate him, but you couldn’t.

———

“I love him, Johnny,” you replied simply. Soap looked at you, almost in disbelief, but after observing you and Ghost for the past couple of months, he fully believed you. You continued, “And that’s not to say that we’ve always acted this way. For the first year or so afterwards, it was dead silence. We were in different units anyways, and after we split up I wouldn’t have been able to even see his face. But then our units were combined and I just had to accept it. It was almost easy to pretend like nothing happened. I just focused on my work and if I needed to address him, I only called him ‘Lieutenant.’ I was able to push back my feelings for almost a year and a half. But then I found him one night in the common area some months ago. He always had trouble sleeping, and I just kind of stood next to him and leaned against him. I thought he would shove me away, but he didn’t. There was…some kind of understanding. We kind of just started acting like we were together again, like nothing ever happened. It felt right, it felt natural to slip back into old habits. You know Simon’s not a man of many words, and I’m too scared to ask him what he’s thinking. I’m scared of driving him away again. He’s here, he lets me care about him and for him, and that’s really all I could ask for.” Soap coughed to stop himself from saying Bullshite.

“Well why don’t ’cha then?” Soap inquired, “Ask him, I mean. Force ’im to actually communicate for once. You deserve to get some sort’a closure, sweetheart. Truly, I mean, when Price told us about how it went down, I thought’a comin’ back to base and beating the shite out of him for being such a bastard.”

You sighed. Soap was right—nothing would ever come of this unless you took the initiative.

“I mean… What the fuck am I supposed to say?” You asked, breathing out heavily.

“Tell ’im exactly what you’re thinkin, how you’re feelin,” Soap said simply. “Somethin’ tells me that he’s probably thinking the same exact thing you are, sweetheart.”

You smiled sadly, shaking your head and looking down at your feet. “I just… he just… didn’t want me anymore.”

“That’s what he told you,” Soap said, “Not necessarily what he really meant.”

“How do you know?”

“Jus’ do,” Soap smiled, “I promise ya that he’s never looked at anyone the way he looks at you. Price even said that you two already act like you’re married anyways.” You smiled halfheartedly.

“I doubt he wants that anymore,” you whispered, “I… I don’t even know…”

“It’s okay not to know everything right now,” Soap gave you an encouraging nod, “But if you still feel the same way about Ghost, and God knows he still feels the same way ’bout you, then what’s the harm in talkin’? It already looks like you’ve rekindled a lot, so if anythin’, you two only gotta make it official by putting your feelings out there. You’re allowed to ask for what you want.”

You nodded slowly, as if you were trying to convince yourself that it would work. Your mind flashed back to every fleeting moment you’d had with Simon since that one late night together, and you know, even if it’s hard to believe, that he still cares about you. Maybe he even still loves you. But you wouldn’t know unless you asked.

“Okay. I’ll talk to him, then,” you decided. Soap smiled.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything.”

Soap broke out into a grin. “So… what does he look like?” You snorted and punched his arm.

———

Later that night, you snuck off into the dining area to get a glass of water. The barracks were practically dead silent, as most of the other men who came back shitfaced were soundly sleeping. As if, somehow, Simon had overheard your and Soap’s conversation earlier, you found him standing by an open window in the common area. Almost exactly like the night you fell back into his arms.

“Hi,” you whispered, standing right up next to him, your sides touching. You looked out into the night sky, too, at the stars he’d been staring at.

“Hey yourself,” Simon replied softly.

He had a thick, black sweater on, along with his normal work pants and boots. He was wearing an all black balaclava. You missed buying him new ones for his birthday; sometimes you would try to get him to wear a different colored one, and he would oblige once or twice because, well, it was you. You also missed being able to see the locks of dirty blonde hair that the balaclava covered. Sure, you’d seen him full-faced multiple times over the past months. It was one of the ways that you knew he still trusted you. Maybe he didn’t like you anymore, but he trusted you. Some nights, you let him into your room when he couldn’t sleep, and you barely had to exchange any words. You’d lift up your blanket and he’d crawl right next to you. You’d tug at the balaclava gently and he’d take it off himself, letting you wrap your arms around him and massage your fingers into his scalp. It helped him fall asleep without fail. It looked like tonight was another one of those nights.

“Can’t sleep?” You offered.

Simon shook his head, still looking out the window. “Negative.” You smiled. He was always so formal.

You both stood there in silence for a few minutes, the wind outside blowing fresh, cool air into the room. The proximity of your bodies made your face flush. Simon reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He opened it and held it out to you, first. You could almost cry. Simon, ever the sweet gentleman, despite the reputation he made for himself, or the way he was convinced he was as a person. You took a cigarette out and placed it between your lips. He leaned closer to you, partially shielding you from the breeze coming from the window as he lit your cigarette.

After you took a drag, you held it out to Simon. He looked at you, through you, for what felt like the longest split-second, before taking it in between his two fingers and taking a drag himself. He blew out the smoke towards the open window. You tried to get yourself preoccupied with the stars in the sky again. He passed the cigarette back to you.

“They know about us,” you finally said, looking straight ahead of you.

There was a beat, but he didn’t flinch or make a sound. He turned his head to look at you. “Who, Price?”

“Not just him. Everyone knows now. Soap was the last one to find out, tonight.”

“Fuckin’ Johnny…” Simon sighed, his eyes not leaving you. You had to muster up the courage to turn and look back. “You okay? Did he say anything to you?”

“He told me to… ask for what I want,” you spoke slowly. Simon’s gaze was intense but concerned. You put the cigarette out on the brick of the windowsill, hands trembling.

“And… what is it that you want?” He asked, suddenly and somehow much closer to you.

“I want… you.” You turned to face him, nervous to make eye contact.

Simon laughed softly. His hand grasped the side of your arm gently and trailed down to hold your hand. “You already have me, love.”

You swallowed hard and took a step back from him. Your hand dropping from Simon’s left his hand cold and his eyes darted around your face, trying desperately to read it. You shook your head. “No,” you said, “Not like this. I don’t want any more of this sneaking around. I don’t want you like this, like we’re just trying to forget everything that happened, everything that we’ve been through. I don’t want this in-between limbo shit where I don’t even know what you’re thinking! I want you, truly, fully, a hundred percent. Like… like we used to be.”

Simon winced and he was grateful most of his face was covered by the balaclava. He knew you weren’t spitting at him, but he knew that you were implying that he was the one to have ruined it all. He was the reason there was a way things used to be. He thought about it every day. How he was the one to pull back from you, under the guise of protecting you, but he knew even then that it was bullshit. He was scared of himself, of hurting you, of possibly being responsible for hurting you. And—

“Simon?”

Your gentle touch to his arm brought him out of his mind. He looked down at you, your eyes were shiny with tears but you gave him a sweet smile. It only broke him more. “Say something,” you pleaded softly.

“Fuckin’ hell… I– I’m so sorry for everything. I mean it.” His own eyes were now brimming with tears.

“I don’t want to lose you again. I have you back in my life again and I’m so grateful, but we’ve just been dancing around it for the past two years, and I can’t—”

“You have me, I promise,” Simon reassured you. “Look, I ran away from you, from us, because I was a coward and couldn’t deal with my own feelings. I feel like— I felt like I just hurt everyone around me. And I don’t want to hurt you, so I thought that’s what I was supposed to do but I was stupid.”

“I thought you… didn’t want me anymore,” you whispered to the ground. “You were shutting me out, Simon.”

“Fuck, every day I was without you, I regretted everything I did and said. I wish I could go back and change it, be a little braver and hold your hand a little tighter and tell you that we would get through it together. I… If I’m being honest, I felt so out of control after 141 rescued me. The torture and all of that shit made me feel like the most useless person on Earth and I felt embarrassed that you still wanted to be by my side afterwards. I almost died. That was the closest call I’ve ever had in my life and it was fuckin’ scary. And I just thought about when I came home and saw my mum and Tommy and… the reality set in that you could come home one day and I’d be dead and I’d have hurt you. And… in my mind, family is a curse. If you’re my family, you get hurt. By me, inevitably. If you’re tied to me, you get killed because I’m too useless to save you in time. And marriage would mean that you would be tied to me. And my mind just— I couldn’t do that to you. In the hospital I’d have nightmares that you were the one being tortured instead of me. I convinced myself that you needed to get away from me, far away. So I gritted my teeth and I was mean to you and I was so fuckin’ horrible and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself. But I never… I never didn’t want you. I just thought… you’d be better off with someone else.”

You stared up into his eyes. His black eye paint was completely smudged by tears and he was almost trembling as you held his hands tightly.

“I’m not better off with someone else,” you shook your head. You leaned up and gently wiped away his tears with your pointer finger. The paint smudged onto you, and more of Simon’s skin was exposed to you. “I only want you. I want to be with you through everything, even the shit. I wanted to… after what happened… I wanted to help you. I wanted to be the one you could turn to. I don’t want to give up on this, on us.”

“I— I love you,” Simon whispered so softly, like if he said it too loud he would somehow ruin everything. “I never stopped.”

“I love you, too,” you broke into a smile, breathless, as he leaned down to bump his forehead against yours.

“Marry me.”

You almost choked. “Simon, come on, don’t be silly.”

“I’m not,” he said firmly. “Marry me. Like we always said we would. Before I was a fuckin’ bastard to you. You don’t have to answer now, but I promise, I’ll spend the rest of our lives makin’ it up to you. Please?”

You felt like you were going to cry, you were so overwhelmed. Your composure broke and you let out a laugh and then a cry, falling forward into Simon’s arms. He held you tightly, resting his head against yours. He rubbed circles on your back and you clung to him, as if you might lose him again in an instant.

“You’re okay, love,” he whispered, “I’m here. I’m not leaving you ever again.”

Simon brought two fingers to your chin, slowly tilting your head upwards, inches away from his. It was as if the world stopped. You’d kissed him before, since joining 141. One night when he was lying in bed next to you, and you were both on your sides, facing each other, you had slowly inched closer and closer until his slow breath was tickling your face. His eyes were closed but you knew he wasn’t sleeping. You’d nuzzled your nose against his and his eyes fluttered open, a small smile spreading across his face looking at you. He’d leaned in slowly, brushing his lips against yours. Your lips had moved against his, slowly and sweetly. And when you pulled away, he had smiled and held you close until the two of you fell asleep.

You’ve kissed him many times, quiet and sweetly, but it was always cautious. You weren’t sure if you were crossing a boundary or setting yourself up. Now, as his fingers cupped your chin gently and you looked up at him, you felt nothing less than confident as you leaned up and tugged the balaclava up over his nose. He smiled and leaned down as you leaned up and your lips met his. You melted into him and his other hand held your waist. His hands were shaky; he was nervous he may break you with all the love he had for you.

Breathless, you pulled away, your foreheads still touching. Your arms were wrapped around the back of his neck, toying at the back of the balaclava. Simon raised his eyebrow slightly, smiling down at you.

“My room?” You asked, a light playfulness in your tone.

For once, Simon felt like he could let out a sigh of relief. He had you back in his arms, a hundred percent this time. He held your hand, small in his, and squeezed. It would take work—every relationship does—but he was ready for it, the talking, the vulnerability, the opening back up, if it was you. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

“Yeah, love, your room,” he said lowly, “But not for sleepin’ this time, yeah?” He smirked and pinched your waist.

“Don’t get too cocky, Riley,” you cooed, yanking the balaclava back down over his chin, earning a laugh from him. You grabbed his hand and pulled him behind you.

Simon smiled. “Lead the way.”

#simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #modern warfare 2 #mwii #mw2 #cod ghost #simon riley x you #my stuff

[silviakundera]

Now that the final SoKP episodes have passed thru my eyes... Things I miss from the novel:

* Sorry but Jiang Xuening should have killed You Fangyin's murderer with her own hands.

* Jiang Xuening becoming obsessed with Xie Wei's cooking, such that she loves to quietly hang out in the kitchen with him whenever there's a break in the scheming. It's their safe space.

* Jiang Xuening going from being in the palace and part of the target/victims of the rebellion in Life 1 to being one of the financial backers of it in Life 2 and accompanying their fighting forces as they move up through the country as Xie Wei outsmarts the emperor & Xue family & Lord Pingnan's forces at the same time. Spending her 2 years away building the capital needed to help spearhead the rescue of the princess and then go to fuck up the emperor who sent his sister a letter to end her life for the benefit of the country.... (chef's kiss)

* The glorious revolution and making the royal family kill each other to save themselves in order to demonstrate the type of people they are

* Jiang Xuening moving into Kunning Palace at the end, as basically the unofficial minister of finance. She ended up in the same place at the end, but hearts & minds are changed and so the result is different

* Jiang Xuening putting the pieces together that the princess died in the 1st life due to her pregnancy & the emperor cutting ties (intrigue!) Team Fuck The System helping her safely give birth to her son, who she loves despite his origin. Our fav lesbian never has to get married to another dude and can just chill with her son, the cabinet of ministers, and her Ning Ning (with psycho husband in tow, but hey nobody's perfect 😂). Using her power to spread schools for women's literacy with Xie Wei terrifying the detractors into submission.

* When they try to use the Jiang family in the capital to threaten XW and he's like, so what? I was gonna pay back those bastards next for Ning'er so you're saving me time lmaaaaaaoooo

* Speaking of which tbh I prefer the lack of a last ditch bandaid on the Jiang family relationship. She's let all of the pain of the past go and isn't personally seeking to take anything away from them in this life... but she is just done with it. Dad is nicer but he's let his wife behave like this and has been mostly hands off. Feels sorta like Story of Minglan to me - letting the favoritism & emotional abuse happen while playing nice guy. In both novel & drama, he spends years not protesting how Jiang Xuening is cast as the troublesome, uncouth, inferior model. But then the drama decides to rehabilitate them. (Though to be fair, even the drama was half-hearted on this 'wash', cause at the end she's mentioning they're not close and in the last scenes the parents are with the sister and Ning'er is with her found family.)

Improvements in the drama:

* I liked that we got to see Jiang Xuening tell multiple people that she loves XW before she gives him her answer. The angst of it being uncertain what conversations she's having with the princess & ZZ, the risk that she's going to abandon XW for being a hot mess... it made for good dramatic tension in the novel. But for the ROMANCE and creating a sense that the feelings he has are truly returned... It makes the ship better.

* The relationship that FL and ML had with the fake Xue Dingfei was richer. He was a standout for me.

* Yan Lin had a happier ending. He really stole my heart in this 2nd life and like Jiang Xuening I felt no need to see him haunted by his vile actions in another universe. It was emotionally satisfying in the drama to see him at peace. You got us all rooting for him.

* Consolidated the Lord Pingnan plot! We really didn't need to get into their factions and introduce more antagonists.

* Consolidated the You Fangyin romantic interests - no need for a marriage of convenience with 1 dude and then Xie Wei's buddy also carrying a torch.

* I felt like the drama gave Zhang Zhe more personality and I did find it delightful when he was "fighting" side by side with Xie Wei.

* Xue Shu (the Xue daughter) felt like a more developed, fully realized antagonist.

* As much as it "sings" in the narrative to have her end up in Kunning Palace with power in the government at the end of the novel (that was brilliant)... maybe emotionally it spoke to me more to see her initial wish from the start of her rebirth fulfilled. Her original reborn goal was to avoid reentering the palace & exit-out of everything to have a quiet life of peace. None of that power ever made her happy.

* Marriage scenes of the otp thank uuuuuuuuu

* No and actually.. After her royal marriage in the 1st life she definitely doesn't need another big celebration. And with her messed up family relationships and his dead parents... Them doing the marriage ceremony all on their own, cause it's another pact between them, makes a lot of sense and I dig it.

* The reverse callback of whispering while she's waiting for a kiss to say "I'm yours" instead of "get out" 👌👌👌

#story of kunning palace #cdrama #spoilers #im one of those people who really likes to see the same story #adapted in different medias #its just fun

[thelovelyruin]

𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖞.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔��𝖊𝖗𝖘 : toji x fem reader

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : you’ve been cheating on toji with his best friend while he’s away on business.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : smut, angst, porn with plot, vaginal sex, praise, love, cheating, manipulation, teasing, fingering, edging.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 3.5K

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from pretty by the weeknd.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoy it, if so, follow me for more. au revoir!

18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT

You will never feel this pretty, and you will never feel this beautiful, when I make it there.

You’ve been looking back and forth between your phone screen and the terminal for the past ten minutes, awaiting his arrival. Anticipation overtakes you, happy to see him after all these months. Another project, he says, but all you hear is another period of loneliness. Fortunately, Gojo told him he’d take good care of you. Well, he surely did. Much, much more than he was supposed to. How long has it been now? 2 months? All you know is that this little fling didn’t start immediately after Toji left for France, despite Gojo giving obvious signs of romantic and sexual attraction. You fought the urges as long as you could, until one night when you missed Toji a little too much, at least that part of him that could satisfy your sexual greed. And who was there? Who didn’t leave you for months at a time, with nothing to hold but the pillow that held his scent? Unfortunately for Toji, that scent was fading, and that lust was growing. You remember that first night, it had been raining particularly hard, due to a hurricane passing through.

“I don’t think you should drive in this weather, it’s raining cats and dogs out there.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’ll take your couch for the evening then.”

Expectations can kill a simple man, a simple woman.

It wouldn’t hurt right? It’s not like you two were sleeping in the same bed together. Until you couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night, and Gojo was just so conveniently awake. Skin on skin, sweat on sheets, you two couldn’t get enough of each other. Endless nights of defiling the bed you and Toji once shared. You really felt bad when you’d get a text from Toji first thing in the morning, telling you he misses you, he hates the time difference, and how bad he’s trying to finish up work to get back home to you. You’d go to the balcony and call him, Gojo still sound asleep in your bed. Toji would tell you all about the sights he’s been able to see and the foods he’s been able to indulge in, and it hurts particularly bad when he’d send you pictures. Like the one he took in front of the Eiffel Tower, or the one in front of the Louvre, or the ones he sends you when he stays up till 4 AM to have phone sex with you. And he lives for those calls, waiting patiently and forcing himself to stay awake, while you were, well, what were you doing? Arguing with Gojo, of course. You knew you should’ve ended things the second he told you he wanted you to break up with Toji.

I try to master the art of that far away love.

“How can you say you love him if I'm railing you every other night, huh? That doesn’t sound like love at all, but you don’t give a fuck, do you? As long as you get your rocks off, you don’t care who you hurt.”

“Oh, you’ve got some nerve, fucking your best friend’s girlfriend. Don’t think you’re a goddamn saint, Satoru. You act like I told you to catch feelings for me. I mean, what did you think was gonna happen? I’d leave Toji, and me and you would run off and get married and have a little house on the hill with a white picket fence and a nuclear family? Give me a fucking break. I told you from the beginning this was just sex.”

But that argument was days ago, and you hadn’t talked to him since. The distance between the two of you really opened your eyes to what you had done, and things became so real when you got that call from Toji telling you he was finally coming home.

I've been living on the road and you've been living all alone, at home.

"Hey babe, know you’re probably workin, but I got good news. The project’s wrappin up and I get to come home. Be in tomorrow night, Gate C, 11 PM."

Attached was a photo of his boarding pass, which caused your emotions to crumble you down and swallow you whole. Running around for the past few months with another man, and now here Toji was, plane landed, and you were waiting for him at the gate. Like a good girl.

As long as you know that when I land you’re mine.

You peer out the car window and finally see him walking out, you could’ve sworn it was a mirage. He wore that sweater he knows you love so much, muscles stretching the fabric, with a pair of black jeans to match. The moment he laid his eyes on you, he began to rush towards you. You give him a wide smile, opening your arms as he brings you into a full embrace, nuzzling your face in his chest and neck. You took in his scent, tobacco and a musky cologne, the scent was intoxicating. He loosens his grip on you so he could get a good look at your face and of course, you’re crying. What type of girlfriend would you be if seeing him after all these months didn’t bring you to tears? Gently, he wipes them away, kissing you softly with a hand on the back of your neck, pulling away to meet his lustful eyes. With a quick sweep, he picks up his bags, walking to your driver’s door to open it for you, then to the trunk to put them in. As you get into the car, you notice you’ve gotten a text from Gojo, which you don’t even bother to read, just switching your phone to silent and swiping away the notification. Toji opens the passenger door, startling you out of your mission to pretend Gojo doesn’t exist. You give him a weak smile and turn the car on, putting your phone in the cup holder. He comes over the seat to give you a kiss, buckling his seatbelt and putting his hand on your thigh. All of a sudden, you’re touch deprived and that damn hand is the stimulus you needed, the itch Gojo you can't scratch. You drive the car and attempt to act as normal as possible, head flowing into overload with all these emotions. Lust, regret, love, guilt, the list goes on as Toji gives you a concerned look.

“What’s up baby? Look like you’re thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’.”

Then, it all hits you. Toji didn’t deserve this. Here he is, being the good boyfriend he always was, while you drown your sorrows in another man. To say the most while saying the least, you were a goddamn whore. You knew it, but that wasn’t gonna stop you from pretending that things never happened.

“Yeah, baby. I’m alright, just happy to see you is all.”

“Yeah? You missed me-”

'Cause I see fear in your eyes. You've been living out your life.

The two of you are interrupted by your cell phone screen illuminating the cup holder. Toji reaches down to grab it and your fucking life flashes before your eyes. Was this it? The moment you’d been putting off? The inevitable? You give a small sigh as Toji reads the notification, and you feel your heart sink when his smile fades a bit.

“Gojo wants to know if you’re still mad at him? You guys get into an argument about something?”

“Um, yeah. Nothing too crazy, just over who was gonna pick you up from the airport.”

“Why would you guys be going back and forth about that?”

“Well, he didn’t think I should be out this late, but I insisted because I wanted to see you as soon as possible.”

“Oh okay. Looks like you got your way huh?”

Girl, I hope he made you satisfied.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Then, you give him one of those saccharine smiles, acting like nothing was wrong. The car ride went normally after that, the radio playing softly in the background as Toji went on about the project he was working on. But you, you were spaced the fuck out. Mind blank as you revel in the comedown of the fear you’ve been accumulating for so long. You were snapped out of your haze when you felt Toji’s hand begin to move upwards, his lustful eyes on you like a wolf that needs to satisfy its hunger. Your breath hiccups as his hand travels beneath your jeans, starting to rub your mound through your panties. He does it painfully slow, obviously teasing you, noticing the way your eyes start to flutter and your skin is getting warmer. And you think you’re gonna go crazy, as he picks up the pace just to take his hand away. Toji then gives you one of those little chuckles he does when he knows he’s got you all worked up, smirking and getting comfortable in his seat, trying to pretend that you don’t see that tent in his pants getting higher. Finally, thank god, you think to yourself as you arrive at your apartment. Toji gets out of the car and walks to your door, giving you his hand to climb out of the seat. He gives you a little kiss on your forehead, then proceeds to get his bags out the trunk. You begin to mentally prepare yourself for what’s about to come. You’re practically edging yourself with thoughts of finally getting touched by your boyfriend again. You unlock the door to your apartment and you both walk in, locking the door behind you. In one fell swoop, Toji dropped the bags and pinned you to the back of the door, lips taking your mouth like a starving man. You moan into the kiss when he pulls your legs up to wrap around his waist, hands supporting your lower back as he carries you to your bedroom.

Somebody told me it was pointless for me to come back into your arms.

With a swift motion, Toji lays you back onto the bed, towering over you as he begins to take his top off and unbuckles his belt, throwing it to the floor. His hands, calloused and warm, begin to undress you starting with your shirt, taking the time to kiss your chest as he pulls it over your head. And as your arms fall back down, he’s already on you, feverishly sucking and biting the skin of your breasts, snaking a hand behind your back to free them from their captivity. As your breasts fall out the bra, he takes a nipple into his mouth, massaging the other in a way that has you mewling soft moans into the air. 

But only so much can keep a woman warm.

Toji finds his way down your body, kissing and licking the skin of your torso as his fingers hook under your pants. He pulls them down fast, then comes down to your panties, which are having a hard time covering how obviously wet he’s made you. But he’s not gonna give you what you want quite yet, instead leaving hickies up and down your thighs as he sees you bucking your hips into the air, practically begging to be touched. He gives a sly smirk as he brings his lips to hover over the fabric of your thong, taking in your scent that he’s missed for so long. A thumb comes up to rub your clit through the fabric, making you squirm and plead for him. Once he’s satisfied with how frustrated he’s made you, he pulls your panties off, coming once more to your clit, giving it a soft lick. His eyes are on you now, and he thinks you look so fucking pretty for him. All hot and bothered, wrapping your fingers in his hair and attempting to push his face down.

And he can't make you feel this pretty. No he won't make you feel this beautiful.

Toji brings his lips to yours, beginning to eat you. His tongue works its way in and out of your pussy, nose rubbing against your clit. His arms come up to wrap around your thighs, keeping you in place as he devours you like a mad man. And you swear head has never felt this good, the way he’s eating you, no, consuming you, Gojo’s tongue could never compare. And you make him so happy when you pull at his hair, riding his face as he brings his fingers up to explore your pussy. His fingers pump in and out of you at a rate that drives you crazy, making that feeling build up inside you. Toji knows your body all too well, time hasn’t gotten in the way of his knowledge at all, cause he sees that pretty face you’re making when you’re trying to contain yourself, and the way your mouth opens into an O as his fingers find that special spot inside of you. You’re begging, praying, he lets you cum and doesn’t decide to edge you. Your eyes meet him as you whisper to him that you’re about to cum, that fire inside you about to go ablaze. There he goes, smirking again, sucking harder and faster, picking up the pace as you melt against him.

“So then, cum for me baby.”

And with that, your body betrays you, that feeling you tried so hard to contain snaps and you’re seeing fucking stars, gushing cum on his fingers, saturating his lips with the juices he’s craved for so long. The wave crashes, the cup spills, and you’re putty in his hands, moaning his name out into the room so beautifully that he swears he might die. He brings himself up to get a good look at you, wiping his face of your essence. You look so god damn sexy, the light of his life, the fire in his loins. You were just so goddamn perfect. Toji’s good girl.

We've been living in a cold, cold world, a cold world.

You’re watching him with anticipation, it feels like he’s taking years to undo that damn zipper. And just as you're seconds away from ripping his pants off, he’s stripped them off and thrown them to the floor, his boxers shortly behind. You’re practically in awe of him, physique on full display, everything from his chest to his, well, your one way ticket to a second orgasm. He’s back on you now, kissing your neck and leaving love bites as he positions himself. You’re driving him crazy, the scent of you, the look of you, the feel of you, as he slips inside you slowly. He feels your hands come up to his back, nails digging into the skin there as you brace yourself for his shaft, reveling in the feeling of being stretched open again. To be fair, it’s not like Gojo didn’t have good dick. It just wasn’t Toji’s, wasn’t even in the same fuckin ballpark. 

But at least I have you to rely, even if for a short time.

Toji pushes inside you fully now, groaning in your ear as he begins to fuck you slowly. The slow strokes are sending you into oblivion, eyes rolling in the back of your head. Once he’s satisfied that he’s prepared you enough, he picks up the pace, breathing on your neck and whimpering as you take him oh so well. And he feels like your pussy was made for him when he pulls out to slam his hips back into you again, and you're screaming out his name like your life depends on it. You can’t bear to look at him when he gives you that look, like he’s gonna take you, take everything you have and you’ll give it to him, because you're his and you know it. No man will ever make you feel the way Toji does, not when he’s rutting his hips into you at a threatening rate, pulling whimpers out of you left and right. Then, there’s that goddamn look on his face again, because he knows he’s fucking you so hard and so good that you’ll be his and his only. Fuck anyone else, he was fucking you here and now, and there’s that feeling again, body craving to cum all over him. He knows you’re close, and like clockwork his thumb comes down to your clit, rubbing it to take you higher and higher. You’re losing your goddamn mind. So many months of wanting, needing, yearning, for Toji’s touch and here it was, lulling you into a haze, mind all fuzzy from your inherent need to cum. With a couple of deep thrusts, he’s got you right where he wants you. You throw your head back into the pillow, arching your back and scratching the skin on his shoulder, trying to find something to grip on as your body cums for him. You’re spent, giving him everything you have to give, singing his name like a lullaby that’s pushing him right where he needs. He’s moaning and groaning like crazy, hand gripping the headboard as he loses himself in your pussy. It’s like a firecracker for him, cumming in the pussy he’s missed for so long, hearing your squeals as he cums inside you. His body falls over yours, careful not to hurt you, then falling to your side, gasping for air. The two of you are a sticky, sweaty mess, cum surely all over the sheets. In that moment, you forget. You forget your regret, your sorrow. You forget the cheating. You forget your mistake. You forget Satoru Gojo.

There are certain things that I've come to understand.

Toji pulls you into his embrace, nuzzling your face against his chest and wrapping your arm around him. As he pulls the covers over the two of you, all you can think about is ending things with Gojo. You knew what you wanted and it was Toji. Who else would hold you like him? Satisfy your cravings? Surely not his best friend. And as you feel his hand begin to rub your back, you feel yourself drifting away, into a plane of existence where there’s only you and Toji, and nothing could ever compare to the feeling of his love washing over you.

“I know you fucked Satoru.”

The words you never wanted to hear. A wave of guilt washes over you, pulling you under the water where you're damned to accept the consequences of your actions. You freeze, unsure of what to do or say next. Surely you won’t bring your eyes up to look at him. How could you? You knew you couldn’t bare to see the hurt expression on his face when you actively admit to fucking the person he entrusted to take care of you in his absence.

“He sent you that text earlier, nearly lost my shit when I read it.”

“Toji, I-”

“Wanna know what he said? He said ‘I know you’re probably still upset with me, but I’d be lying if I said I didn't miss you, especially that pussy.’ I can’t make this shit up.”

Said you fucked another man, finally I knew this day would come.

“How long?”

“Two months.”

“You gotta be fuckin kidding me. Do you want him?”

“I, I, um-”

“Answer me, do you fuckin want him?”

“Toji! Of course not, the only man I love is you. He was just, just a thing to fill the void. I promise, it just happened, I never wanted to hurt you!”

 But baby, I won’t cry.

Toji groaned, bringing his hand to his face in defeat. You were crying now, straight word vomit, saying anything to get him to forgive you. But you know you fucked up. You fucked up bad. And now Toji is gonna leave you. Leave everything you’ve built together, all because you couldn’t keep your legs closed while he was gone. But, despite his anger, he brings a hand up to your face to wipe your tears, arm slinking around your waist as he pulls you back down to his chest, letting out a deep sigh.

“Just please tell me you won’t see him anymore and I promise I won't leave you for that long again. But cheat on me again and we’re fuckin over.”

“I won’t, Toji. I promise.”

"Quand une putain de colombe chante sa chanson, c'est tout ce qu'on entend. Les jours défilent comme de la ficelle dans le vent. Embobiné dans ma toile, je les dévoile à nouveaux. Souffrant d'un cœur brisé. Une douleur très profonde. C'est là où je l'ai aperçue. Seule.”

𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 : “When a fucking white dove sings its song, that's all we hear. The days roll by string in the wind. Tangled into my web I reveal them again. Suffering from a broken heart. A very deep pain. This is where I saw her. Alone.”

♱ the song used in this story is pretty by the weeknd. 🖤

♱ masterlist.

♱ all fics playlist.

𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.

#toji x reader #tojixreader #toji x female reader #toji x fem! reader #toji x f!reader #toji smut #toji x you #toji angst #toji fic #toji zenin #toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #gojo x reader #gojo smut #jjk x reader #jjk x fem!reader #jjk smut #jjk angst #thelovelyruin #thelovelyarcana #Spotify

[heich0e]

BACKGROUNDER - the one that got away!kuroo

note: hello!! if you're seeing this post, you probably clicked through from this fic, and if not... well that's ur own journey <3 this is a collection of posts from my #the one that got away!kuroo universe, which offer context to the main story but aren't strictly necessary—like... further readings, i guess. i contemplated how best to direct people here, and in order for you to most easily access this info, i settled for this post!! under the cut are all of the asks/text posts that ultimately culminated in the full fic, arranged in chronological order for your viewing convenience:

original text post: not to kill the vibe but kuroo tetsuro does give me big 'guy who isn't ready for marriage but then gets married to the first girlfriend he has after the two of you break up' energy for reasons i cannot quite put my finger on

> n to rub salt into the wound, you thought for sure you and kuroo would marry

you didn't think the breakup would stick. you always thought—or hoped, maybe—that the two of you would find your way back to each other when the time was right. but not even two years later (which feels so SOON, even though it isn't really) you see that he's engaged to a girl—a perfectly nice, normal girl, that you can't even bring yourself to hate because you know all too well what it's like to be in love with tetsuro. know what it's like to want a future with him. and you can't blame her for it, even if you resent her for being the one who gets it.

> after the wedding who do you go with? are you drunk out of your mind

you aren't invited. that stings. but you think it might have been worse if you did end up getting one of those beautiful, unnecessarily elaborate invitations in the mail. 

you run into kuroo a few months before the ceremony at a mutual friend's birthday party. end up talking. the wedding comes up accidentally more than anything—maybe someone else mentions it, maybe you ask, maybe he tells you like he's repenting for a sin he didn't commit—and he stumbles through an unbearably awkward explanation (that he doesn't even owe you) as to why you weren't invited. but you know even if he says it in nicer, easier to swallow words, gilded with white lies: it would be weird. it would be wrong. it wouldn't be fair to anyone. not to him, or to you, or to her.

you get drunk the night of the wedding and hook up with the guy you've been fucking for the past few months, who you're pretty sure doesn't even know what you do for work even though you've told him multiple times. all your friends are dressed up and celebrating, and you're throwing up in the hotel bathroom by 2am while the guy sleeps in the bed a room away—completely, blissfully unaware of what's happening on the other side of the wall, let alone at a glittering venue across town.

you envy him for it.

> does kuroo still love reader? does he love her?

he does still love reader AND love his fiance too. maybe in different ways. maybe his love for reader is like guilt. maybe his love for his soon-to-be wife is more like atonement. i don't think it took kuroo very long to realize what he did to you was, well, sort of cruel. i think he regrets it deeply and thinks about it often. in a fucked up sort of way it makes him better to his new partner, because he doesn't want to hurt someone like that again because of his own immaturity. it's unfortunate, but it's like she gets to reap all the benefits of the growth he experiences at your expense.

> Will it ever get better for you after kuroos wedding

of course it will. that's the really weird thing about heartbreak: life just keeps going. you feel like your heart has been cleaved out of your chest, but then you just... go to work. you do your laundry. you read a new book that becomes an all time favourite. you spend time with your friends and family. you go on dates. you learn all the lyrics to new songs. you celebrate holidays and birthdays. and one day you realize it's been years and you're in a totally different part of your life now, and the boy you thought would one day be holding your hand on your deathbed doesn't even know what the inside of your new apartment looks like. and you don't know what his looks like, either. and it's still sad, and hard sometimes, but all you can do is keep going. keep trying to find new happiness even if it's not the one you wanted. and hope that somewhere out there he has a new favourite book too. 

> think of Kai who was secretly pining for you during your relationship with Kuroo. Yet, he still doesn't have it in him to confess his feelings. So, he does the next best thing: he becomes your booty call. But when you slip during one of your hook-ups--when you moan Kuroo's name--he realizes it would never work out between the two of you. Your heart is so full of Kuroo that there's no room for him.

kuroo is so beloved by the people around him that i don't think there's a friend in his life who would EVER betray him like that—even if they did have feelings for you. even more than that, a lot of the friends that he introduced you to during your relationship (who you got close to) seem to grow distant after the breakup. even though it was his fault, really. even though you were their friend too. they just seem to naturally gravitate back to him, like belongings that are divvied up after a divorce. and there's no hard feelings. they don't dislike you, or even do it consciously, it just... happens.

you do definitely call out tetsuro's name when you're hooking up with other people though. it never ends well.

> sorry if u’ve already answered this but how long did kuroo and reader date?

they met in high school, and always had little crushes on each other but it never went anywhere. kuroo FINALLY confessed at graduation (he tried to be rly smooth like the shoujo protag he isn't and almost botched it) and they started dating at 18. they dated for a little over 5 years. broke up at 23. kuroo stayed single for a while before he started dating his (eventual) wife, and they got married at around 26. reader moved away from Tokyo when she was 28-29. and reader and kuroo are both in their mid-to-late 30s when the fic opens!!

#totga!kuroo #btw if you're seeing this rn the fic is not posted yet LMAO

[novemberthecatadmirer]

Confessions on My Personal Headcanon of Eol

Have been thinking about things for a long while.

Here are my personal reasons for making headcanons involving non-evil-still-toxic Eol that actually had consensual relationship with Aredhel:

I fucking hate the “nobody foreigner indigenous savage abducted our helpless innocent noble woman” narrative. I am foreigner & woman so somehow I get twice offended out there.

I don’t like “overpowered enchantment that can control people but never get mentioned before and after, and existed only to conveniently explain why this woman will get married with him and have child. She must be under wicked evil magic.” Luthien did weird enchantments but at least those were cool and basically power of love.

@diversetolkien’s analysis on racial coding was too great & powerful I will never forget

Of course LaCE is dead and should stay dead for everyone’s sanity. However the “elves cannot have children without consent & Eru’s blessings (human can, unfortunately)” makes doing my headcanons on why there are not so many elves around and how orcs were made (from tortured abducted children of multiple origins, mostly human) a lot more easier.

I do not like the narrative that a female character gets punished by the world for having personal desires and leaving family for such desires in the “if you leave the protection of men you will be raped by some evil man and have your life ruined forever” way. I am fine even if Aredhel was killed by Orcs or some random dark creatures (punishment for underestimating the danger, tragical but acceptable), but punishing a woman’s desire for independence with a random man out of nowhere... Well, such a traditional approach. Tolkien can have that. I can dislike that out of personal reasons. Like, all the male writers out there can use rape as a nice angsty divice over female characters, but I still do not like reading that overused trope.

The “Aredhel getting abducted and brainwashed and raped and abused by Eol” is a little bit… Overdone. No offence, there are so many absolutely great fictions based on that. Just... I do not like that take being the only way people interpret the canon text.

I get personally frustrated when I keep seeing the stereotypical type of abuse depicted in media all the damned time. There should be more representations of the less extreme but still very damaging subtypes. (Arguably those types are more common and often overlooked in nowadays society?)

Let me introduce you to “couples who love each other but have so many damned mental troubles and surprise surprise love is not a cure for mental illness so they end up hating & feeling guilty for each other and falling into this very bad codependent downward spiral. Oh and their kid SUFFERS.” 

I love my personal headcanon that “enchantment” is a metaphor for “mad, dumb, intense romantic attraction.” The power of helpless crush & obsession, pure and powerful, that will absolutely make you throw your identities & believes, social backgrounds, and personal duties behind and jump into a lava pit together.

It would be more interesting the other ways.

To me Aredhel does feel like the type who see some stranger in strange forest with strange background from a foreign culture and decided “okay I totally want to fuck that one.”

Eol did have reasons to dislike Noldor. He lived unfortunately close to the “Chaotic Evil Elven Realm where Curufin and Celegorm were.”

Eol did crime and became a kinslayer. He did evil, no argument for that. The thing is, before that he did choose death over being trapped in a colonizer’s kingdom (from his point of view.) He chose freedom even freedom meant death. I can see why he could actually share similar values with Aredhel in that particular aspect.

Eol being a typical abusive abductor & rapist makes fix-it stories a lot more easier. If he was pure evil you can just have someone slay the evil then save the innocent princess and unfortunately conceived child. Or you make Aredhel never meet him, problem solved. However, sometimes we don’t like convenient set-up that avoids all moral dilemmas do we?

I like Maeglin and I want to do evil to him because I am evil and I want to make his troubles A LOT MORE complex and helpless and miserable. And absolutely no one in Gondolin could understand his situation because they chose to believe the “evil foreigner” theory to ease their consciences. How can I make it easier for Sauron to mess up his mind.

I like Tolkien’s “dark elves were corrupted traumatized by Morgoth and released back to the world to do evil like he later did to Hurin & Turin” idea.

The “your father tried his best to love & protect you but even his best was not enough also his idea of ‘best’ was fucked-up. Much of what he did to you was abusive and you hate your father for making your life miserable. However you also know his action was caused by something far worse done to him by someone else, and if the same thing happen to you you will end up the same as well. As the result you cannot really hate him. You can hate the one who did the fucked up stuff to your father, but Morgoth does not care about your hatred and is probably laughing somewhere in his evil lair. Your father’s love was toxic and poison everyone he loved, and you hate him, and you still think he deserved to never be turned this way and had a happy life and never met your mother.” <--I personally like this.

And the “everyone think your father was evil and expect you to hate him and you cannot explain to them because your father did do evil. Also you absolutely hate your father for trying to murder you and murdering your mother and you feel you are honor-bound to want him die for murdering your mother so you go to watch him being pushed down a cliff. Somehow you feel worse and wondering if you should die as well because you did let your father die.” <-- I am sadistic and think this is delicious.

I love the “there is love in this family and it seems like they really could be happy but the world is fucked up Morgothed so they end up hurting & killing each other when their love gets turned toxic” trope.

Again, always more interesting the other ways.

Be kind to me! I think I just have different perspective based on personal experiences so I enjoy reinterpreting things differently out of personal interest. I understand why the evil-Eol & abused-Aredhel trope is extremely popular in fanon now, because it opens ways to hurt/comfort, found family, discussions of issues that worth to be discussed (and traditionally avoided), etc. Which are valuable, necessary, and absolutely respectful approaches. I just like things otherwise because of personal preferences. 

I tend to be so afraid that someone will think I am evil for not headcanoning Eol as evil (well I also have opinions on petty-dwarves but that would be for another post another day.)

#tolkien #the silmarillion #silm #silmarillion #silm meta #silmarillion meta #silmarillion headcanon #silm headcanons #eol #aredhel #maeglin

[shuihuzhuan]

my honest review of helluva boss after getting stupid with a couple friends and watching it all the way through because weve known each other for years and think tht kind of thing is funny is that it's, like, decidedly mid but like at a point on the mid scale where i can wish that it was decent. like if you redesigned all of the characters (because its not that some of the jokes that weren't just "hey we can say the word fuck did you know?" werent funny they were just coming out of the mouths of character designs that gave me carpal tunnel to Imagine drawing much less animating) and gave the script another pass with, like, maybe a professional writer who could refine it so they don't say fuck every four words and took out that one episode that entirely retconned the main relationship that viv wants you to root for it could be like. fine. middling show that airs on adult swim late at night and only a few people end up catching. you can tell it's a side project developed much later than hazhotel and that works entirely in its favor: vivziepop still can't kill her darlings but at least this time she's less attached to bullshit she probably made up in high school. it gets to sidestop most of the problems with hazhotel because of its smaller scale & the fact it simply does Not dwell on the whole "yo why are all of your sinners marginalized people" thing like it simply does not have the chance. and also they're not major characters so they're Not.

the show's biggest problem is just how ridiculously yaoibrained vivienne is - which results in the classic sidelining female characters & just... like, fucking up the characterizations of both them and the guys she wants to ship whenever she feels like it'll make the former or latter party feel less or more sympathetic respectively whenever it's convenient. like initially stolas' wife wants him dead and/or divorced because he's an asshole cheater. like, yeah, that's how it works, but later it's just like Well actually no she's just hated him and tried to get him killed looney tunes style the Whole Time they've been married which on paper is kind of funny but it's, like, come on man this guy sucks. he's an asshole that couldn't give less of a shit about his family. you're told that his only redeeming quality is trying to keep his family together because he cares about his daughter but then in the episode dedicated to him and his daughter he simply does not show it, instead spending the entire thing hitting on the main character who, in the context of what we're shown in that story, embodies the whole "he's a piece of shit but has the one redeeming quality of giving a shit about his daughter" INFINITELY better than we're supposed to believe w stolas. it's fascinating.

theres generally just a lot of Tell Don't Show going on when it comes to retconning these things. this is getting long sorry so basically ill just say all of the episodes written by people who Aren't vivziepop are like. honestly i'd go so far as to say like. decent. i think she needs to just kill herself and give her shit to someone else or something man idk

[guardian-angle22]

I 100% agree with you on the Gabriel thing, like the wedding wouldn't even make sense at that point!! When they killed off Gwyn they basically took half a season to mourn her, but we're just supposed to go along with everyone being cool about Gabriel dying and jumping right into a wedding? It would be a serious competition between what is the most poorly thought out plot this season if they did that.

[in response to this post]

Oh, hello, anon!

First off, thank you for giving me a reason to use this new gif of Paul (that will probably become my go-to reaction gif when I don't have one that fits lmao).

Second, I have very strong feelings on this. I could see them doing The Dreaded Thing and then having a time-jump before the wedding occurs to explain why it makes sense for the characters to be having a happy wedding still... but my problem with that is there's no convenient passage of time for me as a viewer to mourn his character. so watching them get married still and not having Gabriel there would just be absolutely too much for me so soon.

I also just think there's so much depth and unexplored stories to be delved into when it comes to Carlos' relationship with Gabriel, Gabriel and Andrea as parents, their relationship with each other, their relationship as in-laws to TK, Gabriel's chaotic as fuck friendship with Owen... tossing all of those things away for yet another dramatic ~bump in the road~ for the tarlos wedding would just be such a mistake IMO.

Which is why I am putting it out into the universe that this won't happen. Did you hear me, Tim & Co (who definitely already filmed everything and will never read this)?? It's not. happening!

#anon answered #negativity discourse all the bad words #911ls spoilers & speculation #i would love to provide some alternative theories for this last carlos related plot rafa is talking about... #but i have given up on putting stock into his interviews after the ep 1-4 debacle #i got too excited based on his words and i got... what i got... so NOPE #I will react to other people's theories if they got 'em and I feel like it #but I will not be over here with my string and my board like last time lmaooo

[athelise]

I posted 387 times in 2022

That's 297 more posts than 2021!

118 posts created (30%)

269 posts reblogged (70%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@vixenofcourse

@babybinxxx

@sakucrossing

@rabidbehemoth

I tagged 326 of my posts in 2022

Only 16% of my posts had no tags

#itasaku - 99 posts

#take the compliment - 50 posts

#dead dove do not eat - 49 posts

#sakura haruno - 38 posts

#itachi x sakura - 36 posts

#naruto - 34 posts

#ttc - 28 posts

#itasaku darkfic - 24 posts

#itachi uchiha - 20 posts

#darkfic - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 75 characters

#it's my favorite scene in the whole trilogy i feel very strongly about this

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Chapters: 44- True Panic Fandom: Naruto Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi

“She brought that out of him easily, he found as he walked back to the reception area, finding her gone yet again. She instilled panic and longing and relief so sharp it cut the lungs when he was unaccustomed to more than mild annoyance. He sometimes resented how much she made him feel, what she did to him.”

23 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

#4

Chapters: 40 “Nothing Personal” Fandom: Naruto Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi

“If he was there, everything was fine. Was going to be fine. He’d promised her.”

28 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

#3

Jake Lockley

Okay but the fact that Marc and Steven have no idea that Jake exists means he does his job??? Amazingly well?? A killer more brutal than a mercenary, so vicious and dangerous even Marc is disturbed by the carnage left behind? No memory or recall of what happened?

Pristine mental protection. Marc protects Steven, but it's Jake who protects Marc.

41 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

#2

One of the craziest parts in The Silmarillion to me is the Ruin of Doriath. To be fair, the Curse of the Children of Hurin really kicks the whole story into overdrive, but this is a favorite of mine.

So, Thingol receives the Nauglamir from a disgruntled Hurin, gets it remade + Silmaril, he is killed, and following the Sack of Menegroth and the revenge of the Sindar, Luthien keeps the necklace. Now, within that time, I'm guessing B&L already had Dior while in Ossiriand, so maybe he was a young child or even a teen when Thingol died and maybe a lil bit of time passed before Dior ascended the Throne.

Now, I got the impression when Beren went out to stop the Dwarves that he was already an old man, but maybe he was middle aged?

Fast forward, when B&L finally die (implied that they did so together) and the Nauglamir is delivered to him, Dior is already established as King. We can assume this is maybe 20 years later? 30? How long was it?? In that time, he has already married Nimloth (who was waaaaay older than him, I might add), and maybe even had all three of his children: the twins Elured and Elurin, and the famous Elwing.

The Sons of Feanor come knocking like, "Soooo, can we have that? It's kind of ours? Pretty please? (Don't make us kill you?)"

Dior says, "No, it's ours. #TwoTreesLightTherapy for Menegroth. My mommy and daddy won this. Fuck off."

Now, he is conveniently forgetting that Doriath no longer has its girdle of protection, and foolishly thought his circumstances would in anyway excuse them from the Oath of Feanor, and so when SoF came a-knockin', it wasn't very polite.

Dior, MAYBE 50 years old, MAX, faces off against his mom's one-time would-be-suitor, (that's a mouthful), Celegorm, and they kill each other. Lots of fire, lots more sacking, some child endangerment and regret, and Elwing gets away with the Silmaril to the Fallas where she later meets Earendil and the other refugees of Gondolin.

In the book, I always got a weird temporal impression with this section. In the average Silmarillion kinghood deal, normally takes maaaaybe 100 years, but with the death of B&L at presumably decent HUMAN ages, it leaves me thinking of Dior as basically a boy king.

72 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Y'all....

it's here.

It. Is. Here.

Presenting.....

The first commission for "Take The Compliment"... by dolly_daughter on Twitter (https://twitter.com/dolly_daughter)...

presenting...

HWAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOKIT LOOKIT LOOKIT!!!!

BEHOLD!

THE BEAUTY! HIS HAND! HER DRESS!!

I have been quiet about this for a little over a month and I could NOT wait to share it! But I did, and I hope you all enjoy her works!

I'm in heaven. I have ascended. I am deceased. Go follow her!

277 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #this checks out #yup

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Drabble Master List (Newest on top!) - Updated 7 Mar. 2022

“I just want to feel something.” “Do you wish things had happened differently?“ “Please don’t get up. I just want to cuddle.” “Wait a second—are you jealous?” “I did this whole thing for the blackmail material.” “The possessive arm around me is fine but please stop digging your fingernail into my hip.” Happy New Year! Christmas Snowball Fight “It ain’t even really loaded is it, honey?” / “You want to test it? I blow your brains out and I’ll probably get a fucking thank you letter.” “I just wanted you to be happy for once!” “You’re not gonna stay with me? How am I supposed to sleep after today?” “I’m sorry your back hurts. Next time I’ll carry you to bed.” desire/learning protective/run yearning/titillating sad/found surprise/first christmas hurt/lie “You tried to kill me.” “Ya gotta leave right now. Ya aren’t safe here.  “Can I join you?” “Of course I’m crying! You almost died!” He’s smitten. “It’s too cold in here.” “Do your worst.” “Make me.” “What if I’m the one we need saving from?” “Some days... I dunno.” “Wow. Trash talk is coming out strong.” “Even when I’m mad at you, I still love you.” “The bridesmaids in this wedding are really freaking me out.” “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” “Ya can handle more than ya think.” / “No, I can’t!”

“We saw none of that.” “Can we get married tonight?” “Yer gonna be the death of me, ya know that, righ’?” “You don’t realize just how damn tempting you are.” “You did good, real good. You’re safe now. I’ve got you.” “Do you want me to leave?” “Are we living or just existing?” (Daryl’s POV) Distracted Daryl trips “Is there a special reason as to why you’re wearing my shirt?” “I can’t quit ya, no matter how hard I try.” “How’d ya get that gash?” “She don’t come outta there until I say so. Got it?” “You’re in love with her.” Do you want to get out of here? “You bailed me out?” / “It’s become a habit not to think my decisions through.” “The things I’d do to maker her laugh.” “He ran into my knife” Hiding “I think that’s the least romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.” “Think of how dull your life would be without me. Pretty sad huh?” “Look at all the fucks I do not give.” “Tell me you need me.” “Don’t use me as an example. I wasn’t a good kid.” “Stop talking.” ”You’re my weakness.” Uncle Daryl After Rick’s death “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.” This is my problem. I can sort it out myself and I don’t need you sticking your nose into my goddamn business.” “I know you’re awake.” “I don’t belong to anyone else.” ”We’re not just friends and you know it.” “Do you want to watch it?” “Ha! I’d suggest you step back and let us go before he kills you.” “When there’s a will and a complete disregard for your own personal safety, anything is possible.” ”Stop!” “You don’t understand.” “I’m supposed to be scared of you now?” Am I supposed to be scared of you now? “Are you happy? To be here with me right now?” / “Are you?” “We’re reading completely different books! We’re in different libraries across town from each other!” “She doesn’t owe you a date for shit.” Daryl has a certain type of dream about Y/N and is a bit flustered… ”Fuck you then.” ”Don’t be a bomb… please don’t be a bomb…” Scars You need to be more careful. Prompt: The library reveal scene in Beauty and the Beast “Have ya lost yer damn mind?” “There are certain things I might have conveniently forgotten to mention right at the time!” “You are single-handedly responsible for everything good that has happened to her.” “I love you, but get out.” “You ruined my life!” “Don’t touch me! We’re fighting!” “You have to love. You have to feel. It’s the reason we’re here. You’re here to risk your heart.” “If I die, I’m haunting your ass.” “If I don’t leave now, I will never get away.” “Don’t look back, not even at me, especially not at me.” “I wonder what the world would look like if I’d known that sooner.” “I’ve changed, and so have you.” “You couldn’t have finished that sentence beforehand?” “Take your shirt off.” / “Uhh, what?” “Please don’t leave me alone again.” “This world is doing nothing for me but turning me into a monster.” “I did.” “I’d do anything for you.” Drunk. “I need you to come back with or without him. Preferably alive.” “I didn’t expect you to be an expert in… locksmithing…” Gregory wants to talk to you. “Loyalty like that is hard to find. Hang on to it.” “You can’t say no before I’ve even asked you the question!” “They now fully understand the concept of personal space.” Shower “I need to wash off this blood…” “Ya just refused to let his darkness touch ya anymore.” “Me getting pissed off isn’t going to change anything.” “Do you think you could do me a favor?” Jesus Christ! Look away, Daryl. He’ll keep talking if he thinks someone is listening. When you’re done smoking in front of my house, you’re welcome to have the couch. Inmates This whole thing has felt a little like a drug-induced fever dream. She’s trying to bribe them to let her out of there. Why do the best intentions always turn out badly? Sunscreen. You can’t yell at me. I’m injured! I’m walking away. The same way you did. Look at me. I hope you know how much I like these little talks with you. I’m not going to get sick. Just let me hold you, you baby. I did. Did I do something to make you hate me? / I don’t hate you. I just don’t know how to talk to you. What’s wrong? / Where should I start? Don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far? We’re all a little stronger than we think we are. Don’t give me that look. It ain’t gonna work this time. Nobody saved me. I’m not afraid. Who am I to tell you to stay? Don’t try to spin this to be my fault! Leave. Stay back. How am I supposed to tell you the truth when I don’t know what version you want to hear? Take a break Just because it’s better than what you’ve had before that doesn’t mean that it isn’t still shit. I absolutely refuse to touch that. Don’t say it. You don’t deserve to. Why do you care anyway? Loving you is the only thing I’m good at. Y/N falls asleep in the car Palm reading You go, I go, That was always the deal. Nothing makes me happier and sadder than you. Sorry I’m so hard to deal with sometimes Gone fishing I don’t ever want us to be strangers again. If I hurt ya, it ain’t my fault. I warned ya.You really need to stop breaking into my house. / I wouldn’t have to break in if you’d just gimme a key. Fine, you can come in. Just take your shoes off, I don’t need you tracking mud everywhere… If he’s gonna treat ya like shit, I’m gonna kick his ass. You know despite what you think I am completely capable of taking care of myself. I don’t have to listen to anything you say. I’m right where I need to be. I trust you. You’re starting to feel like home. Come over here and make me. Back from The Sanctuary Something tells me you’re going to be trouble. You’re no match for me. I like when you smile. You will not take anything from me ever again. I’d never lie to you. “Are ya sure about this? It’s going to hurt.” / “it’s nothing I’m not used to” It was nice to hear your voice again. “Quit it, or I’ll bite.” I’m going to hell. / Save me a seat. Did they hurt you? There’s a surprise for you downstairs. I’ll kick his ass if you want. Well, if I ain’t the boss of you who is? You better watch yourself. Isn’t that my shirt? Don’t you care? / I can’t afford to. You know you want this, sweetheart. Guess we’re gonna be stuck here a while. What were ya expecting, a guardian angel? / No, I think I prefer this actually. Was that really necessary? / He was trying to kill me, so… “You can’t stop me.” / “Who said anything about stopping ya?” Are we bad people? I got you/I ain’t leavin’ ya out here Go back to sleep You’re such a prick sometimes You don’t have to carry this alone. I’m sorry, okay? Promise me you’ll come back. Yell, scream, cry! Just say something! Take me instead! You almost died because of me. Bite me! Look at me! I didn’t mean what I said. I trust you I would die for you. Don’t look at me like that. Let go of me! Ya can’t ask me to do this. You can be so damn irritating sometimes! Quit bein’ such a pain in the ass! It’s always been you. I’ve got you. I thought I lost you Stop moving so much Don’t you dare die on me! Stop bein’ an asshole Ya better watch yer mouth, sunshine That’s not what I mean and you know it! Is that blood? Don’t Leave Me Here Alone Something’s Wrong What If You Didn’t Come Back How Long Was I Asleep Stay I Know You Have Feelings For Me They’re Gone My Favorite Person This Isn’t Me Hungover Return Alone Help Unlooked For Take Care of You Lie to Me Eyes on Me

#daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon twd #the walking dead #twd fanfics #daryl dixon drabbles #daryl imagines #daryl x y/n #fanfics #writers of tumblr #twd drabbles #drabble master list

[cocosstories]

Sebastian Stan One Shot

Prompt:

sebastian stan x reader and their first time smut

Warning: Smut

You and Sebastian had been friends for years, meeting for the first time at a mutual friends wedding.

As time passed, you and Seb became pretty close and because of this, your group of friends always tried to get you together.

"We are just friends!"

You would say repeatedly when they inevitably began asking about the two of you.

"Oh come on. You honestly have never even thought about just sleeping with him? I mean Seb is hot. If I weren't married..."

"Y/F/N!"

You turn in the passenger seat of her car in shock at her statement.

"What? I mean you won't fuck him so why can't I fantasize about it?"

She replies with a shrug.

It was fourth of July weekend and the two of you were on your way to the Hamptons to spend the holiday partying at your friends huge beach house.

Sebastian was coming too and you were already trying to figure out ways to avoid the inevitable things your friends were going to try to do to get you to hook up.

"Holy shit, this is amazing!"

You say, stepping out of the car as you pull up.

"Yeah, we finally finished renovating. Just in time for this weekend."

Y/F/N says with a devilish smile before heading up to the house to join her husband and Sebastian who were already there.

"Hey, Y/N."

Sebastian smiles and hugs you.

"Hey Seabass."

You reply.

You could feel your friends staring as the two of you hugged and quickly pulled out of his embrace so you didn't give them anymore ammunition.

"Oh, Y/N, I forgot to tell you, we were trying to figure out the rooms and you and Sebastian are going to have to share."

Your friend says, turning to walk into the house before you can protest.

"CONVENIENT!!"

You yell after her as she giggles.

"So where is this room?"

You ask her husband who leads you and Sebastian through the beach house and to the room your friend has assigned you to.

"What. The. Fuck."

You say as you look around the room.

It was set up as like a honeymoon suite.

Champagne, roses, candles and even silk sheets.

"What the hell does she think is going to happen? That we are going to sleep in the same bed and all of a sudden your penis is going to end up in my vagina like magic?"

You rant and Sebastian laughs.

"Y/N, Y/N, hey it's just for a weekend. It's not that big of a deal and they can't make us do anything."

Seb says putting a hand on each shoulder to get you to focus.

You nod with a sigh, knowing he was right, they couldn't make you hook up with Seb.

"Alright, fine but I swear I am going to kill her if she pulls anything else."

Sebastian agrees and the two of you get ready for the nights festivities.

It was a party set up on the beach just off the house and your friends spared no expense.

A DJ, dancefloor, all the booze you could ever ask for at the open bar and everything started with a beautiful sunset dinner near the water.

As the party really got going, you headed to the bar with a few friends, ready to do some shots, Sebastian joining in.

A few hours later, you were on the dancefloor, feeling pretty good when Sebastian is brought over by your friend.

"You two should dance!"

She yells over the music and pushes the two of you together just as a slower song begins to play.

You didn't know if it was the alcohol, the music or just the feeling of Sebastian's arms around you but you couldn't help but give into your friends request.

"Lets go upstairs."

Sebastian whispers in your ear and against everything sober you had said, drunk you agreed.

The two of you barely make it to your room before his lips are on yours.

You wake up the next morning to a raging hangover, most of the night before blank in your mind.

Sebastian is softly snoring next to you and you decide to get up to pee.

As you do, you become painfully aware that you are naked and carefully lift the sheets to see if Sebastian is as well.

"Fuck."

You whisper.

Getting up, you give yourself a second to let the room stop spinning before you quietly find some sweats and a tshirt in your bag.

You quickly get dressed and grab your phone and bag before sneaking out of the bedroom and run downstairs.

"Y/N! Finally you're awake!"

Your friend says, her voice like a meat cleaver slicing through your pounding head.

"Yeah, hey, can we go get breakfast?"

You ask.

"Sure. Should we wait for Sebastian?"

"No. Um he wants to sleep. Just us ok?"

With that, she agrees and the two of you head off into town to her favorite breakfast spot.

After getting a booth and ordering some coffee, you make your way to the bathroom, just getting there before the contents of you stomach make their way back out of you.

Twenty minutes later you rejoin your friend who had ordered you the perfect hungover breakfast and begin to eat.

"Your phone has been going off like crazy."

She says, pushing it towards you and you see the multiple missed calls from Sebastian before putting it in your purse.

As you eat, the night begins to come back to you in flashes.

The dinner, the party, shots, dancing with Sebastian, going up to the room, the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands running all over your body until he reaches behind you to unzip your dress.

You try to shake the image out of your head but it only brings up more images.

The look in his eyes as he kneels in front of you while he pulls your panties off, the feeling of his stubble tickling your leg as he leaves a trail of kisses up it, the feeling of his hair as your fingers run through it while he eats you out.

"Shit."

You mumble under your breath.

"What's wrong?"

Your friend ask and you shake your head.

"Nothing, bit my cheek."

You lie.

The sound of your voice moaning his name, nearly begging for more before he stands up and pulls off his pants and underwear, revealing his very hard member.

'Tell me what you want'

You close your eyes and can hear his voice clear as day as the full scene comes into your mind.

'Fuck me.'

You replied, watching him contemplate.

You groan as he waits, wondering what you will do if he refuses.

You reach down and begin playing with yourself as he stands back and watches with a satisfied smirk.

'You want some help?'

He asks before he moves your fingers and replaces them with his own.

His body felt amazing on top of yours.

"Y/N!"

You are brought out of your memories when your friend nearly screams your name to get your attention.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said, Sebastian just texted me and he wants to know why you won't answer. He needs to talk to you."

"Alright, just tell him we will be back later."

You sigh and pick at your food.

"Why are you avoiding Seb?"

She asks.

"I'm not."

More images begin to flood your brain as the feeling of him sliding inside of you hits.

You swear his eyes were more blue than normal as he looks into yours for just a second as he pumps in and out of you harder and harder at your request.

"Bullshit. You are avoiding him. Wait...oh my God, you had sex last night! Didn't you?"

You groan.

You friend could always read you like an open book and to be honest, you were shocked it took her this long to figure it all out.

"I knew it! Everyone said I was crazy to think that you two would give in one day but I knew it would happen!"

She says happily and you roll your eyes.

His grunts and groans fill your head as he fists the sheets to keep his balance.

You could almost feel yourself clench around him as the heat  builds.

He catches your lips for a second just before he cums and buries his head in your neck.

His sloppy thrusts were just enough to push you over the edge and your toes curl as your orgasm hits, nearly making you black out.

You swallow hard as the diner and your friend come back into focus.

"So, you're avoiding him because you slept with him?"

She asks and you groan.

"It just happened. We were drunk. Like really drunk and when I woke up this morning, I didn't even remember it."

You finally admit.

"Oh, that bad huh?"

You glare as she laughs at her own joke.

"I remember it now, smart ass and it was not bad."

You take a sip of your coffee with your eyebrow raised.

"So if it was good, then why won't you talk to him?"

You sigh.

"Because drunk sex is always good and Seb and I are friends. I don't want to complicate that."

Your friend shakes her head.

"That's not it. You don't want to admit that we have all been right this whole time and there could actually be something between you two."

You spend the remainder of breakfast thinking about your friends words and before you knew it, you were headed back to the house to talk to Sebastian.

"Hey."

You say making your way into the bedroom, finding him sitting on the bed

"Hi."

He says with a small smile.

"Look, Sebastian, last night was unexpected. Amazing but unexpected and I know I shouldn't have bolted like I did but I really don't want to complicate things so lets chalk it up to the alcohol and our friends getting in our heads and leave it at that."

The words come out quickly, you wanting to make sure he couldn't interrupt your speech before you could finish.

"What if I don't want to just leave it at that?"

He asks, stopping you in your tracks as you head to the bathroom for a shower.

"What?"

He crawls to the end of the bed.

"What if I don't want to leave it at that? What if I want to try what happened last night again? Sober this time?"

He says with a slight smirk.

You cross your arms and look at him.

"Lets do it again, sober."

He says again, reaching for you, hoping you will give into him.

Your mind races, searching for the answer of what to do, one side wanting to do it again, the other screaming not to risk ruining your friendship.

Feedback is always welcomed and greatly appreciated

#sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan one shot #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan

[danniburgh]

Boca del Diablo (Javier Peña x f!reader)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: I was wrong but I was doing it right; and we would steal each other’s grief, we were thin but we were thick as thieves; you gotta hold me down, ‘cause I might slip away, slip into the past.

Word count: +5.7k

Warnings: ANGST, you guys this is AWFULLY SAD, so, beware. mentions of alcohol and drinking.

A/N: oh god, okay; this is technically a ficsong, based and inspired by Mouth of the Devil by Mother Mother. also, the first time i heard that song i knew it was SO made for Javier Peña, i couldn’t just not write something based on it... I JUST COULDNT. im not sorry. also also i wanna thank my forbidden kitties @ezrasbirdie and @starlightmornings​ for proofreading and telling me it makes sense, love you so much guys. Jesus Christ Superstar i really should stop hurting javi huh.

Masterlist // Read on ao3 // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

gif: @javierpcna​

The first thing Javier did when he arrived to Laredo was tour his house around; he walked around the living room, looking at all the pictures his dad had hung onto the walks, he took his time to admire all the faces and the expressions and the situations; he took the time to reminisce about moments of his life he hadn’t given himself the time before to reminisce. He walked the narrow hallways of the house he grew up in.

It was like meeting the house again, even if after leaving he had visited, even if he knew exactly what was in what corner, even if he still remembered that stash of cigarettes he had hidden under a wooden panel in the floor when he was seventeen; he was familiarizing himself again with it; like the prodigal son coming back to a place he had forgotten because he need to forget it.

He discovered that day, after not living in that place for over thirteen years, that it was timeless.

It was as if the house itself was a spot in time that hadn’t moved; as if the place it was built on was rooted down so far into the ground that not even distance or time changed it.

The second thing Javier did when he arrived to Laredo was sleep.

He told Chucho he wouldn’t eat the dinner he had made and that he preferred to eat it for lunch the next day and just shut himself into his old room and slept for twelve hours.

When Javier woke up, he didn’t feel rested, but his mind had stopped reeling from all those excruciatingly exhaustive thoughts he had been carrying with him since he packed up the close to ten years he spent in Colombia into three suitcases and spent three hours inside a plane and two hours driving down from the airport.

In the twelve hours he slept, he didn’t dream at all, and for he was grateful to be so tired that his brain just had shut down for half a day; he didn’t need the constant reminders of what his life decisions had turned into. He didn’t need to dream about the pain he saw, tamed, and caused.

Javier didn’t want to go out of the house at all; because he knew there would be people that asked him about his doings like he was some kind of hero; they would ask him details about the things he did in what they called South America, details he wasn’t ready to even remember, as he wasn’t even ready to correct them; that it wasn’t South America, that it was just Colombia. As if he didn’t want to ruin their perceptions of him; when in reality he didn’t even want to be perceived.

The first time Javier went out of the house he drove to a convenience store that was there since before he was born; another proof that everything in that town he so wanted to get out of and leave behind him as a kid was timeless and immovable.

That time he forgo the cigarettes, as he was decided to try to quit smoking once again; and as he was walking out of the store with a plastic bag full of crap he shouldn’t eat and stuff he didn’t really need, across the street he saw you.

Javier just stood there, like a newly put statue, he watched you hop into a truck he was sure wasn’t yours or your dad’s and as the truck drove away with you in your pretty short sundress inside, he knew, once again, that he was completely and utterly screwed.

He had frozen in place because in that time, in the two minutes it took you to leave, the only thing that invaded his mind was what he did to you.

The second time Javier went out of the house, he had decided to visit some of his old friends that still lived in Laredo; the ones that, unlike him, had stayed there for reasons he, at the short age of twenty, didn’t really understand, but years later, at what he considered the middle of his life, comprehended at last.

None of them asked about Colombia; and, while he was grateful, he was sure it was because one of them told the others not to.

It was as if the subject of him working there had become a taboo; something that they spoke about and debated amongst themselves when he wasn’t there, and he preferred it that way.

Javier was enjoying the time he spent remembering stuff that hadn’t gotten people killed; he liked the feeling of nostalgia that sharing old stories and old experiences with friends made him heel; until someone mentioned you.

He learned then that what had gone down between you and him had also become a taboo; something only his and your generations and the parents of your mutual friends knew about but never said a thing, something that, as in most small towns happened, was a topic that someone brought up when they saw you walk by, or Lorraine, or his dad.

He had even escaped being the prompter of his own fall out being discussed by people on the narrow streets of downtown Laredo.

Javier also learned then that you were a month away from getting married.

The first emotion Javier felt when he heard the words “she's getting married on the fifteenth” was rage; not at you or at your husband to be, but at himself. Because he knew that if he had played his cards right, he would be the one you were sharing your life with.

The second emotion Javier felt was a profound, almost abysmal regret. Because if he had stayed put for thirty-six months he would've been the one you would’ve married. Because if he had stopped his unhealthy, obsessive desire to leave everything he knew and looked at you with all the love he felt for you, he wouldn’t have done what he did. But it was way too late to realize it.

The third emotion Javier felt was sadness. Because even when he had made sense of what he did and convinced himself he was doing the right thing, even when he was doing it wrong, the outcome had been the opposite of what he wanted.

He ruined his life trying to get a better one.

Javier had one too many beers that night and excused himself from the reunion; as he drove away he pulled over because there was an overwhelming question dragging itself from his brain to his chest and settled there like a rusty nail perforating his skin: when was the last time he had thought about you?

There was a difference that he noticed there; as he sat inside his truck in the middle of the country road with the crickets replying to the others and a few car noises at the distance; one thing was wondering about what was of you, asking himself in the little idle times he had in his job if you were doing fine, if you were mad at him, if you were happy, and another, polarizing, totally opposite thing was thinking about you and the years you spent together.

He avoided it.

Thinking about you consoling him with your body when words weren't enough, you understanding him to the deep ends of his persona, you, knowing him exactly as he was, as young as he was, complete as he wasn’t. You meeting him in vulnerability, in nudity, in cynicism, even meeting him in drinking and getting drunk with him every other weekend just to laugh about nothing and fuck like bunnies.

You and the perfect aura and the immaculate energy you exude at all times and that when he was inside you, he felt you share with him.

He avoided it because he knew that he didn’t deserve to get any of it back; but Jesus how much he wanted it.

So Javier decided, inside his semi-alcoholized head, that he had to do what he didn’t do when he had the chance.

He turned the truck back on and gave an U turn that he knew would get him fined if someone had seen him and drove back to where he came from.

He drove by muscle memory. Even after sixteen years he still knew the way and could drive with his eyes closed if he felt brave enough.

But he wasn’t feeling brave or encouraged or self assured; everything he was feeling as he drove was a heavy, disorienting need to fix what he broke.

Or try to.

He got into the driveway and started honking like a crazy man inside the afternoon traffic of the city; someone had to come out at some point.

And you did.

Javier couldn’t identify the emotions he felt when he saw you opening the door of your house or what he felt when he noticed your expression as you recognized the truck and him inside it. He couldn’t name the exact feeling of his chest tugging when you stood there, on your porch, dead on your feet, a hand covering your mouth when he got out of the truck.

He saw you see him; your face paled as he walked up to you, your eyes widened open, he felt like an apparition and guessed he was; nothing but an unwanted sight of a past he was sure you wanted to forget.

He noticed the simple and complex emotions your eyes poured out as he tried to say hi to you with a hand wave.

And even then, half drunk, standing on your porch after who knows how many years, he knew it was something that was supposed to happen.

“What… what are you doing here?” was the first question you asked him, Javier didn’t even have a response to it.

“If I say the truth you wouldn’t want to listen to me.” he said. He saw you shaking your head slightly and looked at you with clinical eyes.

It was as if the time hadn’t passed through you; you were still as beautiful as he remembered you. As terrifyingly gorgeous as the first time he saw you when he crashed your nineteenth party with his friends from college; as inexplicably stunning as a twenty-two year old guy could make sense of.

“What do you want?” was the second question you asked him, and Javier wanted so many things he didn’t know which one to say first.

He looked at you with that expression you had on your face the first and the last time you said goodbye to each other.

“Can we talk?” he replied, you looked at him and bit your lower lip and Javier had to close his eyes because he wanted to do that himself.

“Sure.” you muttered, Javier nodded a few times as he opened his eyes and you had crossed your arms tight on your chest.

“Can we go somewhere else?” he asked, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his jeans.

You stood quiet again as he guessed you were pondering your reply, and he felt like he was asking you to go out with him two weeks after your birthday party.

“Where?” was the third question you asked him “I’m kinda busy.”

“Just for a drive, please.” Javier heard himself begging, but didn’t really care for it.

“I–I don’t th–”

“Please,” he cut you off, “I just… fuck, I just need to talk to you.” he sighed out.

Javier couldn’t stand the look you were giving him, he couldn’t bear the feeling that your eyes on him were giving him because he had a specific memory of you looking at him with a shine in your eyes he didn’t see anymore as you stood in front of him and he was hating it.

“Okay,” you murmured, “let me go get my bag.”

He nodded, and you turned around and walked back inside. You didn’t close the front door and from where he was standing, he could see some parts of the house and some chat inside he couldn’t make out.

He wasn’t half drunk anymore; the weight of the emotions he was feeling were enough to sober him up. But he knew, as he stood there waiting for you, with the most pressing feeling he had felt in decades, hitching his breath and cutting his flow of air, that it was most probably that he wouldn’t get what he wanted. And that was scraping at the well-manicured mask he had built for himself.

You walked out of the house with your bag hanging from your shoulder and gave him a brief glance as you walked to his truck. He let out a heavy sigh and jogged a bit to catch up.

Javier didn’t know where he was driving to. He just didn’t think you would say yes, so he didn’t bother to think of a place to take you; he knew you’d appreciate going somewhere without many people. As you were less than a month away from your wedding and Laredo was a place where if the wrong person saw you walking around with your ex, bad shit could happen.

The truck’s engine roaring was the only thing that made any noise. You were sitting on the opposite side of the seat, all but glued to the window, avoiding to look at him; he understood it; he didn’t even know why you had said yes in the first time.

Javier was still thinking of a place to stop the truck, and as you stirred on the seat, he saw a familiar deviation with an old, tattered, fainted wooden sign on the edge pointing to the right that read Boca del Diablo, leading to a narrow dirt path surrounded by semi-overgrown wild plants.

He turned there and saw you stiffen on your side of the seat out of the corner of his eyes; he wanted to ask you if you remembered the place but instead you glared at him.

“What are we doing here, Javier?” you asked. He wouldn’t admit even to himself that he felt his stomach turn around itself when he heard his name being pronounced by you.

“You remember this place?” he asked anyway as he drove to where the dirt path became a wide opening that led to the edge of a cliff.

“What is it to remember?” you muttered in response, Javier pulled over and turned to you.

“Well, this was our place.” he shrugged slightly and turned off the ignition.

“No, this wasn’t our place,” you murmured, looking back at him, “it was a place where every single couple in Laredo came to make out.”

Javier huffed and nodded a couple of times, he noticed the way you were looking at him and, even in the darkness of the open country and the inside of the truck, he could see the way your brow was furrowing slightly, he wished to know what you were thinking.

“We made it ours.” he whispered back.

“Javier,” you sighed out, he knew you were getting exasperated “fucking in the back of your truck hardly was making a place ours.”

Your words made something inside him sting. He wondered if his actions had made you shift the meaning of your memories; he wouldn’t find it hard to believe.

“Why are you here?” you asked him, Javier was looking for your eyes but he found them outside, on the walnut tree you and him used as shade when you came there before the sunset.

“It made sense,” he replied. You scoffed and turned to face him, Javier saw your eyes water in front of him and took a deep breath “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Right.” Javier saw you take a deep breath and swallow your tears. He wanted to hug you but instead gripped the steering wheel with a hand.

“You’re getting married.” he said, not as a question, but matter-of-factly.

“Yeah.”

“Can I ask why?” you bit your lip with a smirk on your face and Javier felt his chest compress.

“You really wanna know?” your voice was low and soft but it weighed on him like an anvil. He nodded. “I finally found someone brave enough to stay.” you replied with a shrug.

“I stayed.” Javier let out before he could stop himself and you glared at him with a frown.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his lids with the heel of his hand; he knew he was bad with the kind of conversations he wanted to have with you, and he knew you knew as well. But he still wanted to ask you so many things he didn’t even know he was curious about.

He knew exactly the moment he had fucked his and your lives, but he hadn’t stayed to look at the aftermath.

“You stayed,” you retorted “but you didn’t wait.”

“I know.”

“Why?” you asked him, now chasing for his eyes, Javier shook his head a couple of times and you shifted on the seat so you could face him with your body as well “why you didn’t wait?” you asked in a whisper.

“I don’t know.” he replied in a low voice and frowned when your reaction was to laugh.

As you looked around the truck’s cabin with that cynic smile of yours adorning your face, Javier saw a single tear rolling through your cheek that you didn’t bother to wipe off.

“You don’t know?” you let out a sob that sounded like a laugh, “you don't know why you threw away seven years of our lives?” he shook his head, and you opened your mouth in feigned amusement “seven years, Javier, unbelievable.”

“I tried to figure it out but I just couldn’t,” he murmured at you when you threw your head back and sniffed “it made sense at the time.”

“That’s bullshit.” you shrugged.

“It is.”

“I…” Javier started, he tried to find the correct words to phrase what he wanted to say “I know that what I did wasn’t good or an–”

“Wasn’t good?” you cut him off “that’s not really how I would phrase it, Javier.”

“I know, I’m trying, okay?” 

“It doesn’t look like it,” you whispered again and rolled your eyes at the tears Javier could see flooding your eyes “you didn’t wait for me, you didn’t even try!”

“I did! I swear I did, but I wa–”

“Everyone knew us, Javier,” you cut him off again and he sighed “everybody in town thought that we would be that couple that stayed together forever,” you snarled as two thick tears made their way from your eyes to your cheeks and he had to refrain himself from leaning and brush them off “I thought that too.”

“Please,” he sighed. You shook your head slowly.

“And now, after what? twenty years? you com–”

“Sixteen.” he interrupted.

“What?”

“After sixteen years, it’s been sixteen years.” he muttered.

“Right, sixteen,” you huffed again and licked your lips. Javier remembered that little gesture as a sign of nervousness when you were barely an adult, “after all that time, you come back to break into my life,” you raised your hands in question, Javier chewed the inside of his cheek “for what? why?”

“Today Matt told me you were getting married,” he said, you rolled your eyes at him and Javier shifted slightly closer to you on the seat “I just knew I needed to see you first,” he saw you see through him and he felt once again like an apparition “I just realized I never stopped thinking about you.”

“Stop it,” you raised a finger to him, Javier stiffened up “don’t do that,” you shook your head at him “because when you should’ve thought about me, and about us, you didn’t,” Javier nodded his chin a few times “you don’t get to do that to me,” you sniffed and he closed his eyes when your voice started shaking “not after everything, not after you promised me you’d wait and then finding someone else.”

“I didn’t find her,” Javier opened his eyes as he said it, you rolled your eyes at him again, “I wasn’t even looking for someone else.”

“You’re lying,” you shook your head again, Javier mirrored the action, “don’t lie to me, that’s the only thing I’m asking, don’t lie.”

“You know I don’t like lying, I’m not.” he whispered, you let out a sob.

“Then what the fuck happened? huh?” you shifted closer “I asked for one thing, I asked you to wait, you knew I left town to do what I wanted, what happened that made you run to Lorraine?” 

Javier moved closer to you and threw every sense of courtesy and respect out of the window; he grabbed you by the shoulders and pressed you against him. You didn’t try to fight him and he took it as a good sign, but you didn’t hug him back.

Your head rested on his collarbone and he could smell the softness of your shampoo, and wondered in the back of your head if you used the same strawberry conditioner he liked so much.

“Y’know,” you said, shifting your head so you could breathe “Lorraine and I talked when I came back,” Javier hummed in surprise but felt his body shiver at the thought of you and Lorraine sharing the only thing you two had in common with each other; him, “we tried to make sense of what happened but never actually could… what happened?”

“I wish I knew.” he whispered against your hair and felt you shiver, you buried your face in his chest.

“It’s not fair that you don’t know,” you muttered out, your voice being muffled by his shirt and his skin and him and he gripped you tighter “it’s not fair because I’ve been asking myself that question all this time.”

“I tried to make sense out of it,” he broke the brief silence that formed around you, his words like a knife that was sharp enough to mull but not cut, “I thought I was doing the right thing, even if I was doing it wrong.”

You separated from him suddenly and he immediately missed the warmth of your body on him; it was as if he had never stopped holding you.

“Help me understand this,” you murmured, “I left town to do something you knew I wanted to do for so long,” you recounted in a low, deep voice, Javier nodded, “I left with the promise that you would wait here, that it was my turn of doing something I wanted and that you would be here waiting for me, it was only three years, you told me you’d wait,” he nodded his head again, trying to shove away the need of breaking down as you did “but as soon as I crossed the state line you ran to Lorraine,” you said, Javier opened his mouth but you raised your hand to him before he could pronounce a word; he hated that your version was like that, he hated it, “you started dating her saying nothing to me, and I had to find out, because my dad saw you kissing her inside this same truck,” Javier saw you close your eyes in pain as another pair of charged tears fell from them “and he called me to tell me to never come back, and you’re telling me it was the right thing?” you shook your head and Javier felt his throat close at the sight of your face quirked in pain from an old wound he just reopened “what was I to you tha–”

“Everything,” he cut you off, you sighed “you were everything to me,” he cleared his throat and begged his brain for some reason and sense so he could explain to you and give you what he thought you needed to know “and you didn’t deserve me making you responsible for my own well being.”

He saw you frown as you wiped away the tears you had shed.

“That doesn’t make sense, Javier.”

“Think about it, miel,” he tried to explain, barely noticing he had slipped the old nickname he had given you when the first time he kissed you and whispered that your lips were as sweet as honey, he brushed it off and looked at you and your unsure eyes and your bouncy leg and he was regretting everything he had done in his life up to that point until he saw you tilt your head, asking him silently to continue “we were young and stupid and we were both vulnerable,” he reminisced and you nodded ever so slightly “when we met we had lost a lot and I instantly became dependent on you and you know it,” you nodded again, another tear rolling out, he raised his hand and brushed it off, his hand stayed on your cheek, cupping your face, “the only reason I was living and breathing for was you and I knew you didn’t deserve to be the reason I was alive,” he leaned closer “you didn’t deserve to be anything else than my girlfriend.”

You let out a soft sob and looked at him with dovey, dampened eyes, his own were watering as well.

“I’ve always regretted the way I dealt with things, and I’ve always wondered what would be of us if I talked to you instead.” he whispered and then you leaned to rest your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his middle.

Javier almost cradled you. He wrapped his arms around you too as you tried to drown your sobs and he felt the cold sting of a tear making its way out of his eye.

“You ran away.” you whispered, he nodded.

“I did,” he agreed and barely heard you asking why “everything fell on me out of the blue,” he shrugged with you still resting on his shoulder and his hand started gently rubbing your back “Lorraine almost forced me to propose, your dad was so mad at me he stopped doing business with my dad,” he explained, you hummed in affirmation “so my dad was mad at me too,” he scoffed, “and I couldn’t face you,” he whispered, gripping you tighter to him “I knew that you would throw everything on my face and I wouldn’t recover from that, so I just left everything behind.”

“What a fucking coward.” you whispered, Javier huffed a soft laugh.

“Yeah.” he blinked a few times. You sighed and Javier felt the warm breath that came out of your mouth clashing with his skin, making him think about all the times he had you between his arms inside that same truck in different circumstances. He yearned for those times to come back, he wished for a second chance he knew he wouldn’t get as soon as you pronounced:

“I’m supposed to be making the seating chart.”

Javier’s breath hitched when he heard it, and he scoffed at himself because in the back of his mind, deep inside himself, he held a glimpse of hope that maybe if you talked to each other, things would change. But it was a childish thought and of course… You weren’t ruining your own life again.

“You’re still getting married?” he asked.

Javier felt you undo the grip you had around him and you pushed yourself away from him.

“Don’t do this.” you shook your head. Javier saw you shift further away from him; you opened the door and jumped out of the truck and into the empty space that was the viewpoint of Boca del Diablo, he did the same; opened the door and got out of the truck to the cold air of the night and jogged around the truck to stand next to you as you threw your head back and looked at the dark, star-filled sky.

His logical side was screaming at him to stop, he knew he wasn’t being fair to you; he knew perfectly that you wouldn’t say yes; but he wanted to try so hard, he wanted to do whatever it was in his power to have you again.

He saw you there, standing in the middle of a darkish, barely moonlight illuminated, dry dirt viewpoint at the edge of a cliff he had taken you so many times when you were together, and all the feelings he had made sure to shove and hide deep inside himself came bubbling up. He never stopped loving you, and he had lost you once already, he didn’t want to lose you again even if he didn’t have you anymore.

“Miel,” he started next to you, he heard you let out a soft no “miel, is he good to you?” he asked.

You turned to see him and Javier saw the confusion in your face, he stepped closer and reached for your hand.

“As good as he can be.” you whispered in reply.

“What if…” he gripped your hand, you shook your head slowly “what if I told yo–”

“No.” you said before he could finish, Javier tugged you closer to him.

“Come with me.” he let out, softly, almost imperceptible even to his own ear.

“No.” you whined out after a sob.

“Please.” he heard himself beg again.

“Don’t, Javier please don’t do this.” you cried out again. He looked at you, the moonlight making your eyes shine with all the previously shed and yet to slide out tears.

“Miel,” he said, it was like his own judgement was blinded by the feelings he had been neglecting to process over the last sixteen years of his life; he knew he was talking but he wasn’t thinking about his own words, “I promise there was neve–”

“Javier, don’t.” you whispered, thick tears rolling out of your eyes that he brushed with his free hand.

“There was never anyone that could love me like you did…” he let out, you shook your head and he cupped your face.

“Stop it.” your voice was so thin he could barely hear it.

“...and I tried, miel, god knows I tried to find someone like you…” you opened your eyes to him and looked at him deeply.

“Please, stop.” you whispered again.

“...I was with so many women…” he whispered and leaned into you, you sighed and Javier could feel the warmth of your breath against his mouth “...so many of them and I couldn’t feel anything…” he felt another tear escaping from his eye and you reached to him, you didn’t brush it but your touch made his skin burn “...not one of them made me feel what you did, miel…” he pressed his forehead against yours “not a single one.”

“Why are you telling me this?” you whispered out, Javier tried to calm his racing heart as he fought himself from kissing you.

“Because no one was enough, miel, no one was you.” his voice was soft and he sighed slightly, you closed your eyes as a sob died inside your chest. Javier brushed his thumb on the skin of your cheek and you, out of the sudden, closed the distance with him.

Javier hummed in surprise but his lips acted by themselves. You tasted the same as the first and last time he had kissed you; sweet as honey.

You ate his lips gently, still whimpering and still crying, you brushed your tongue with this lower lip and he opened his mouth to let you in; he was willing to give you everything you wanted. He wanted to give you everything you asked for.

With the same sharpness you started the kiss you finished it.

Javier wanted to chase your mouth and keep kissing you until his lips went numb but you stepped back from him and shook your head as you licked your lower lip; he sighed once again with the wet flesh of his lip still tingling.

“You know that I can’t, right?” you asked, holding back his hand, he stood there, watching you look at him, “you know I won't risk my entire life just because the man I’ve been loving for twenty years came back, right?”

Javier dropped his gaze to the door and attempted to say that he knew; that he understood, that he wished you to be happy and that he only wanted to try because he loved you. He wanted to say that he was happy to know you still loved him after all those years and that he knew you had the right to decide what to do with your life. But he could only nod.

“I grew out of my pain, Javi,” you whispered, gripping his hand, he lifted his head to look at you, you were giving him a smile he thought he would never see again; small, soft, yours, “it doesn't hurt me anymore; you did what you did for yourself and I understood,” he nodded again, “now I’m doing what i need to do for myself.”

“Does he make you happy?” he asked in a mumble, you scoffed at him.

“Mostly.” you replied, Javier tugged you against him again and held you inside his arms.

“Good.” he whispered, burying his head inside the crook of your neck, he felt your hands roaming gently up and down his back and he wished you could touch him like that for the rest of his life.

“I’m gonna get married, Javier,” you said, he shook his head, “yeah, and I’m gonna move to San Antonio, too.”

“No.” he let out, his voice small, he felt you shake.

“Yes,” you sniffed, he held you tighter “and I’m gonna try to be happy,” you said before a sob came out of you, Javier felt your heartbeat against his nose and wished to feel it for the rest of his life, “even when I know I’m gonna forever feel sad that you’re not the one I wake up next to every morning.” you whispered.

“We can still do that.” he mumbled against your skin, he felt you shaking your head and he held you closer to him.

“I’m not gonna do that to him,” you replied, Javier sighed “because I love him too, he doesn’t deserve that.”

Javier lifted himself from where he was hidden in your body and looked at you; he slid his hands from your waist to your arms and your face and cupped it with both hands.

“What about you and me?” he let out; he heard himself and hated how broken his voice was. He felt the way your breath hitched as he finished asking and he saw you close your eyes.

“We don’t deserve each other anymore, Javi.”

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[dantelionwishes]

life is full of ups and downs downs downs downs dow

loredump under the cut. not kidding when I say its gonna be long!

oh shit you actually clicked keep reading thank you for your interest 😭😭😭

YOU KNOW THE DRILL tw // suggestive dont read ahead if youre uncomfortable with the topic of aphrodisiacs! 

MIDDLE SCHOOL 

before anything, I gotta explain he was born to parents who had an infatuation quirk (makes them hardcore fall in love with you) and an infection quirk (transmits a virus via saliva)  

developed his quirk late, since they usually get it by the time kids are four 

most people knew him as quirkless before the first incident 

in middle school, his class was preparing for a school play, he and his classmate got cast as the main lead prince and princess 

coincidentally, they both had a crush on each other and had a scene where they kissed

technically they weren’t supposed to, since its just a play, but one time they were practicing in private and wanted to try kissing “for real”

so they shared a super giggly cute middle school first kiss but well UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM HIS QUIRK HAD WELL DEVELOPED– 

BADABING BADABOOM YOU HAVE AN IMAGINATION USE IT

the only way for the quirk’s effects to go away is to come at least once or pleasuring yourself until it goes away

I DO NOT WANT TO IMAGINE IT BUT. IMAGINE BEING A TEACHER AND FINDING A MIDDLE SCHOOLER WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER AND AN ADULT IS FORCED TO TELL HER HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY LLLLIKE–

rip now that I’m thinking abt it, I don’t even think anybody would even kNOW HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY so lets imagine she painfully stays that way until they figure out how to make it stop :^(

there’s a big fight that happens between the teachers, principal, and parents of both parties 

of course the crush’s parents got mad and called their kid a fuckin uhhhhh sexual predator or some shit despite also beING THE SAME AGE AND NOT EVEN KNOWING ABT HIS OWN QUIRK LIKE HELLLO

obviously an incident like this is going to spread like wildfire but the principal does not want something like this to leak, especially since it was not on purpose and was a total accident 

the other kid’s parents and some teachers did not feel comfortable however, and sato was forced to drop out

but not wanting to spread the gossip about their son’s quirk and the incident, they leave the town and move someplace else

thankfully, the principal gives the sato family his good grades and a recommendation to a decent highschool for the trouble

they’re originally from osaka, but moved to tokyo 

this is where they start taking precautions with sato, basically teaching him to be careful with his saliva 

it was easily taught and learned esp since the mom was already like that around him and others everyday anyway!! she has to take care of her saliva-based infection quirk, after all 

HIGH SCHOOL

he got enrolled into a regular highschool in tokyo

no hero course, no support course, no business, just a regular ol’ school

if before, he loved surrounding himself with people, this was where he was forced to develop a lonely disposition to protect himself and others

at least his parents were very protective and supportive of him and they were generally a happy family!

but in school, pretending to be quirkless was just as difficult, getting bullied or pitied for having no special abilities 

his excuse for wearing a mask all the time was because his mother had a virus-related quirk, and had to be careful 

one day his dad was suddenly got really, really sick

the more he had an excuse to wear a mask because he didnt want to get whatever disease his father started to develop 

sato started thinking it could be his mother (but why?) the results didn’t say anything about an unknown virus killing him (which is his mom’s quirk), and that his father really did contract a strong yet very normal disease 

while on his second year in highschool, his father, yozo sato, died 

apparently, without him knowing anything about his parents, his mother, oba sato, was actually under the dad’s infatuation quirk this whole time

she realised she wasn’t really in love with him when oba had accidentally allowed a drop of her saliva to fall into the meal she was making him, making him sick, and therefore making him weak enough to deactivate his quirk on her 

oba, back in her college years, wanted to marry someone else but yozo, who had a crush on her wanted her to himself, used his quirk to make him fall in love with her 

so in revenge for making her put up with him all these years to the point of marriage and having a kid, she continued to do this to his food 

her quirk doesn’t make anybody sick enough to die, but it made her husband’s immune system weak enough to the point that it contracted a real, serious disease which he ended up dying from instead 

sato only finds out the real story when he graduates from highschool, days right after his graduation the mom confesses it all 

she does say she truly loves him, but can’t stay around him knowing he was technically “unconsensual love”

sato gets reminded of what his quirk does, and true enough, that’s what him and his quirk turned out to be (a sick combination of his mom and his dad) 

they cant bear to be around each other after that revelation and decide to just not see each other again 

COLLEGE YEARS

he enrolls into an education course, inspired by the kind principal who helped him finish his middleschool-highschool education when it all started going downhill 

sato struggles paying for his college fees esp since he doesn’t exactly have his parents supporting him anymore, nor any contact with immediate family 

he has a lot of part time jobs that go all around the clock, he continues pretending to be quirkless so he gets bullied, and has to deal with all that emotional baggage plus being alone so…….clearly my man is TIRED as hell 

his side job hustles include: convenience store cashier, bookstore attendant, bar bouncer, and rookie gym trainer (he went to the local gym long enough for him to get recommended a job as a trainer)

college was that point where he starts developing a hardcore yearning for a companion because oh my god hes so lonELY (but cant)

ANYWAY SO

there’s this bully guy who always picks on him in college (for being “quirkless” and a loner and overall a fuckin weirdo with a mask)

tbh sato doesnt really give a shit he’s so used to it but he doesnt have his mother as an excuse to wear the mask anymore, this is where he starts forming the “I have bad breath” excuse 

“口臭い” (kuchi kusai) translates to “bad breath” or “stinky mouth” so sato unlovingly gets nicknamed “kusato”

one day he’s walking around the campus at night and finds the bully with his gang cornering another quirkless student, with plans of assaulting her 

sato was never the hero type, and was about to ignore the commotion as to not get involved, but something in him moved on its own and he found himself face to face with the gang 

he confronts them, but the bully mocks both him and the girl for not having powers to stop them anyway 

SIKE BITCH sato’s able to easily strike the other two guys, knock them off their feet enough to be able to tug the to-be victim aside, telling her to report them, before asking her to run away as fast as she can

none of the guys want that (they’re all students) so they have a full on brawl (and this isnt hero academy, its a totally normal university so I wouldn’t assume these guys had very impressive quirks)

except the main bully actually has a pretty decent quirk (he’s like a kinda half human half dragon with sharp claws, scales, and dragon eyes) and gets to injure sato with his sharp claws, seriously injuring his face

a part of his ear is also sort of sliced off, which is how his mask gets accidentally removed in the process 

the dragon bully grabs him by the collar and starts angrily shouting at him for ruining his night, being able to do all this shit without a quirk and all and all other derogatory speech 

“Well? what do you have to say for yourself?!“ 

Sato stays silent before spitting right into the bully’s mouth 

The bully drops him immediately, about to angrily fuck him up for doing something super fucking gross but WHOOP WHOOP YOU KNOW WHATS BOUTTA HAPPEN the quirk works immediately and the bully is a TOTAL MESS on the ground 

Im going to TLDR this part cos its…obviously nsfw but like: sato fully embarrasses him in public (beside the bully’s two colleges nonetheless) 

sato stays in the hospital for some time to heal from his wounds 

fortunately, afterwards, the bullies all get expelled 

unfortunately for sato, he also gets expelled for engaging in bad behaviour, and the bully did say what happened to him (and the college principal did not want his…dangerous quirk on campus) so as to lower any incident, all four were expelled 

at least without having to pay for college fees anymore, he could fully focus on paying for food, shelter, and clothes 

minus of course the hospital bills needed to pay plus he got a sick ass scar from it anyway HAHAHAHA BSDJHJRHDHF

ADULT LIFE

he had a lot of jobs here and there, but was more or less doing best as a trainer at a local gym where people weren’t allowed to use their quirks and strengthen their body regularly 

a few years went by and he eventually shrugged off everything that happened in his final college years but one day someone familiar walked into the gym! It was the fellow college student he saved!!!

she became a policewoman who wanted to get stronger in this quirkless friendly gym and hadn’t given up on her dreams of being a “hero,” inspired by how sato saved her that day

sato never really saw himself as some hero, he was left many nights alone thinking about how easily he could become a villain with his quirk, so hearing that really made him happy 

he trains her as her gym coach and she eventually asks him to join her patrol this small part of the city from a gang that was currently going around doing crimes since he’s good at it anyway, saying she could use some extra hands hehe

so yeah!! he does this side gig with her where he patrols alongside her looking for gang crimes and such c:

AND ONE DAY. [WISTFUL SIGH] ONE DAY. HE FINDS SOMEBODY GETTING MUGGED BY A GANG MEMBER AND SAVES………A CERTAIN MAN–

thank you for reading all the way here!!!

feel free to ask for questions or for any clarifications 😭😭😭!!!!!!

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha oc comeback #mha #bnha oc #mha oc #lionhe(art) #I know I havent exactly written stuff from meeting toshinori onwards #but thats for another day!! #I only ever wrote Sato's backstory pre meeting all might #yet all I drew as a teen was them as a couple lMAOOO #idk if anyone would wanna read that but honestly iM SURE THE STUDENTS WANT THAT SPICY RELATIONSHIP INFO JHSDJGHAJHJK #my 17-year old self would have been happy in my place ;;3;; !!!!! #i finally got to share his lore!! that was a lot so if you seriously read it all thank you so much aaaaaaaaaaaa #Osamu sato-sensei

[phoenixyfriend]

Vader Tries to Help

People encouraged me to share the dead dove concept! Yay! It’s a horrible concept with an undertone of comedic absurdity in the sense that you keep waiting to see what awful, incredibly stupid thing Vader is going to do next. Like it’s horrifying but it’s also very dumb.

By moving forward into the fic, you acknowledge that this is intended to be dark and liable to be upsetting, and that you are taking responsibility for your own engagement with the material.

This AU was helped along on discord by several parties but tbh I’m not sure how many of them actually want to be named.

Warnings: Mutual Extremely Dubious Consent (forced by a third party), drugging, irrational behavior (Vader), nonconsensual body modification, forced pregnancy, imprisonment, threatened torture of a child (not followed through on)

----------

Vader captures Obi-Wan a few years into the Empire. Because Vader is Anakin, but even worse on the emotional bullshit, he decides that he needs to keep Obi-Wan safe but harmless. Vader also got Luke in the whole 'capturing Kenobi' situation, so part of what Vader's thinking about all this is that Obi-Wan tried to protect The Baby and so Vader kind of owes him, obviously.

Palpatine lets him keep Obi-Wan "safe," because threatening Obi-Wan is a convenient way to make Vader shut up and do what he's told. Palpatine can kind of tell that threatening the toddler would make Vader lose his shit and attempt to kill good ol' Palps, so threatening the middle-aged depressed alcoholic being kept in Vader's guest room with Force-nullifying cuffs is pretty good. It's an additional layer of emotional torture on top of the electrocution of Vader himself!

Vader has Obi-Wan taking care of Luke, mostly, because Vader has Obligations and A Job, and Obi-Wan wouldn't hurt Luke, duh. He might try to escape with the kid, but he won't be successful, and Obi-Wan will definitely put Luke's safety first, so that probably won't happen.

This is all fairly normal for a variety of AUs, granted, and not very dark.

But see, Obi-Wan behaves. He's aware of how tenuous the situation is for him and his charge, so he plays nice. And Vader decides to reward that.

By giving him Cody.

There's an implied thought process there that Obi-Wan was fond of Cody, and Cody was fond back, and now that the Jedi aren't around, they can follow through instead of worrying about some silly Code. Vader's nullified the orders to kill all the Jedi, of course, possibly dosed their food with an aphrodisiac so they don't try to talk themselves out of What They Obviously Want.

Now, we’re going to make it a little darker, because why not make things worse by having Vader try to make things better?

Vader somehow twisted himself around to encouraging them to have a baby. This is accomplished through a combination of Sith Magic and nonconsensual surgery, and lots of questionable drugs.

Obi-Wan just wakes up in a hospital bed with a womb one morning, and is informed of the surgery then and there, after it’s already happened. The droid telling him about it is just like "in the Lord Vader's infinite kindness--" and Obi-Wan just.

Anakin.

What the fuck.

What in the actual fuck made you think this was a good idea.

(The Sith Chemicals, probably.)

I feel like Palpatine would maybe even order the pregnancy induction just to torture them by proxy because that's like eight levels of Fuck No and he barely has to do anything except tell Vader that he'd like to see what kind of children a Jedi Master like Obi-Wan has.

Luke needs friends, doesn't he?

Obi-Wan is having some very complicated emotions about all of this because Vader is, in his own absolutely insane way, trying to help.

Anakin wanted babies and Padme wanted babies so clearly, if Obi-Wan and Cody are in love, then they also want babies!

Cody and Obi-Wan very well might not be in love. Anakin definitely could have misinterpreted. It’s probably more angsty if they're just friends who ended up in this bullshit together.

(He's taking baby fever to new and somewhat horrifying heights, because... he would adore Obi's kids.)

(His family button is suprisingly large for a mass murderer.)

Vader Kindly Informs Bail That Obi-Wan Is Alive And Unharmed. Bail was a friend of Obi-Wan's, telling him this is only helpful and will keep Alderaan from getting more rebellious out of personal insult. Obviously.

Vader is almost offended when Bail implies he might hurt Obi-Wan. He kept his son safe, he owes him. Speaking of, don’t you have a child? How old is she, again? It would be Good for her to make friends, wouldn’t it? :)

Palpatine is just like... sitting back and eating evil popcorn as Vader runs around, ruining people's lives by trying to be less of The Worst than before.

Palps barely has to do anything, Anakin's fucking it up on his own!

Could have been just a sly "Kenobi is so attached to young Luke, but now that you've been reunited with your son, perhaps he'd be happier with a child of his own?" Come at it from both "make Obi-Wan happy" and "protect your relationship with Luke" angles.

Vader: I can't have babies anymore due to what you did to me on Mustafar. Obi-Wan: So you're punishing me by forcing me to have them instead? Vader: No! Children are a gift that you have been cruelly denied by the Order that held us in its chains! Obi-Wan: ...oh, right, you're insane. Forgot about that. Somehow.

Big dramatic speech about how the Jedi Order spent so long making them take lives, he’s giving Obi-Wan a chance to create it! To put something good and bright into the world!

Poor Cody is like. "General, I am very fond of you but I'm having a million panic attacks at the same time because of the mind control, and also Vader is under the impression that we're in love and I need to be your stud? I wasn't aware you could have children--" "I can't. Or at least, I couldn't, but Anakin is... creative." "...what."

I don't want to actually objectify Cody in the narrative past the point that Obi-Wan himself is, because nnnnngh racism and clone stuff, so I'm going to say Cody was in love with Obi-Wan, and would have been okay with at least discussing the whole baby schtick if not for the absolutely horrible circumstances.

Like if the war had ended normally, and Obi-Wan had expressed a desire to retire, unlikely as that was, then Cody may have suggested a dinner, and they could have gotten married and then eventually adoption...

(Cody had a lot of fantasies he didn’t let himself think about too hard.)

But no. It's this... weird Vader-inspired bullshit.

I'm just so invested in Vader trying to help but making things legitimately a million times worse.

He wants to help :) Oh god, he wants to help.

Why aren't people more appreciative of how hard I'm helping them? - the Anakin Skywalker story

With less time to stew and also getting handed what he wants, Vader could absolutely flip on a dime the second he saw Luke being protected, and go from “I hate you” to remembering that Obi-Wan said he loved him, and now he must keep Obi-Wan safe out of debt and he just... he’s playing house. 

Vader throws Obi-Wan a baby shower after the pregnancy is confirmed. Bail is invited, because Obi-Wan doesn't have a lot of friends still alive. Vader decides Bail is top of the Obi-Wan’s Friends List.

This is the first time they've seen each other in two years. Obi-Wan is heavily pregnant despite Bail knowing full well he didn't have the plumbing for that before the Empire rose. Cody is there and emotionally exhausted but more lucid than most troopers. Luke is running up to Leia because New Friend!!!

....there may be MORE of the 212th and 501st at the baby shower, with “kill all Jedi” orders revoked, of course. But it will keep the children safe!! And Cody and Obi-Wan can see their surviving friends!!

Cody: I'd be much happier to see my surviving troopers if they didn't all still have chips in their heads. Obi-Wan: I feel much the same. Vader: [404 error]

Bail and his family might be there at blaster point, but aren't you happy to see them, Obi-Wan??

Obi-Wan's endless trauma is honestly somewhat curtailed by the incessant need to facepalm at Vader’s bullshit

Obi-Wan and Cody both outwardly have a very "there are much worse people I could be stuck with in this situation but obviously I wish I'd had a choice, no hard feelings" attitude at each other.

Internally, Cody is suffering because this is NOT how he wanted his crush to be realized, and Obi-Wan is just suffering, period.

Cody: How did he even choose which of us ends up pregnant? Obi-Wan: He thinks I need to be protected, and that he needs to keep me safe. Cody: ...he does realize that you're better at-- Obi-Wan: Cody, he's completely lost it. No! He doesn't realize!

I feel like over the course of the year or two this plot unravels towards Palpatine getting murder-deposed and Anakin getting locked down, part of the driving force to Vader not being Vader anymore is that Luke actually really loves Uncle Obi and always starts fussing and going "Ben's sad" whenever Vader dismisses what Obi-Wan wants in favor of what Vader thinks Obi-Wan wants, and Vader can't deny his child anything.

Luke cries because Palpatine Feels Wrong like, once or twice, and Anakin goes “oh, okay, assassination time.”

#Obi Wan Kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #Luke Skywalker #Commander Cody #Codywan #Darth Vader #Bail Organa #star wars #dubcon #situational dubcon #nonconsensual surgery #medical abuse tw #forced pregnancy tw #nonconsensual body modification #Vader Tries to Help AU #Phoenix Posts #dead dove do not read #dead dove

[bibbykins]

Penumbric Commitments (M)

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day!! I wrote this up real quick yesterday, so please forgive any lacking in quality, but I had the idea and absolutely sprinted with it! I hope you all enjoy and look forward to the next full length fic I post, which I gave a not so little hint in here to!

Warnings: 18+, unhealthy relationship, manipulation, yelling, rough sex, light bondage, the usage of a belt as wrist restraints (consensual), brief fingering, male cumming inside, talking about not wanting a child, daddy kink, threatening to leave, offering to kill someone, semi-graphic talks of killing someone

Word count: 3.8k

Genre: Soft Yandere, Mafia! Au

Summary: Hindsight says Namjoon so easily complying with not having children was too easy considering his position in the business and the nightmare his parents had readily become. What you didn't realize was how far Namjoon was willing to prove to you he meant what he said that day: all you both ever need is each other.

Note: this is a canon drabble apart of the Silhouetted Bonds fic linked here

It's times like these that you regret getting a traditional clock. The ticking was incessant and daunting. It felt like it was getting closer and closer to your ear with the deafening silence it was slicing through. Analogs had to be the way to go, or better yet, none at all. The last thing you needed right now was a reminder of how much time has been spent at this table. Namjoon had sprinted home the moment his mother called him after your meeting with her. 

----

"Mrs. Kim, always a pleasure." You shook the older woman's hand with a tight smile. 

She returned yours with an equally fake smile, "Please, you know you can call me mother." She chided, but nevertheless you stayed silent as you sat back down at the table in your home. It used to be mom.

It was 8 a.m. your mother in law wanted to meet, so to be petty, you stated 9 a.m. would be great. It's a shame that your relationship with her came to this, but truthfully, it was far from your fault.

While in the beginning she had been like a mother to you, things quickly took a steep downturn the moment Namjoon reintroduced you into his life. The woman who had once been lively, rebellious, and took charge became a demure, stoic, and merely content wife. She had given you talks about your duty as the wife of the boss and the expectations she expected you to fulfill nowadays as opposed to telling stories of her youth and teaching you how to bake eccentric treats. She had even admonished you for leaving Namjoon, an idea she gave you really. Since then, she had always stated your allegiance to the business and your own husband had yet to be proven in her eyes. The notion struck you to only provide her with business professional talks.

You had always known her and Namjoon's father had been a marriage of convenience, but there seemed to be intense love between them, at least at one point. You're not sure when that collapsed in your absence, and sure you felt bad,but you did not care for her patronizing tones. If Namjoon wouldn't retaliate, she almost definitely would've had you killed the moment you decided to leave her precious son. 

"Now, I understand you're a busy woman, so I'll be chaste." She spoke as she took her seat, giving you a pointed look, "Do you feel as though you've made up for your betrayal?" This was obviously a trick question in her eyes, the simple answer being no.

However, you couldn't care less, "I have never betrayed anyone close to me, including Namjoon, if that's what you mean." You met her eyes with valor, "I don't see why you feel the need to ask such a silly question each time I see you." 

She laughed humorlessly, "Maybe I'm hoping for the right answer to cross your stubborn mind." Truly, if Namjoon didn't love and cherish his parents so much you would've told her to fuck off and mind her business, maybe focus on her own shitty marriage, by now. Alas, Namjoon was a people pleaser and fiercely intent on being a filial son.

"You mean your answer to the question about how I feel?" You raised a brow, "Even when apart from Namjoon, I took no other man. I've never even lied to Namjoon, I've been nothing but an honest and hardworking wife after forgiving his own shortcoming in honesty." You watch her fist clench in her lap at the suggestion of her precious boy having a shortcoming of any sort, "A shortcoming well remedied, seeing as I'm still here." You chided lightly in spite of the heavy tension. You pitied your staff in this moment for having to watch this battle of wills.

"Sometimes husbands lie to… protect, their wives." She struggled to find the right words as she regurgitated what Namjoon's father undoubtedly told her one too many times. Misery loves company, and goodness, did she want you to be as miserable as her.

You returned her fake smile two fold before speaking, "That's lovely, but I don't need protecting from my husband, I need trust, honesty, respect." The final word made her back straighten, "I'd like to live in reality with him, not be shielded from it, but I respect what you wish for your own marriage, but this is what I like for mine." 

She hummed in faux thought, "Very well, I can leave you to reflect on what marriage should be, you're still so young." You fought the urge to roll your eyes, "However, you're not that young…" This was a new addition, "When will I be receiving a grandchild?" 

Your brows furrowed. Namjoon told you she took the news of no grandchildren quite well. He told you that she was informed of your no children rule mere days after you spoke the words. The radio silence on the topic of children each time you met with either of his parents confirmed much for you, and you had even found yourself quite proud of him for standing his ground with you. Surely, his parents are not nearly old enough to be so forgetful.

This was the first question in a while that made you falter, and you could see the satisfaction she gained from it, "Grandchildren? I'm unsure what you-"

"Namjoon told me the last time I visited him in prison, you wanted to wait for your fifth wedding anniversary before trying for children, isn't that coming up quite soon?" She raised a brow and you felt your heart shatter. 

He lied to you. Again. He lied to you mere moments after you were ready to forgive him for lying to you the first time.

You let out a bitter laugh, "He did now?" She nodded and you shut your eyes for a moment, "It seems I've been made a fool of again." You sighed before looking as confusion crossed your mother-in-law's features, "I told Namjoon the very last time I visited him in prison that I did not want kids, ever."

"You know that's not possible for him, he's a successor." She laughed at your boldness.

"You know that he is an adult man with 6 brothers, biological or not, who will all marry one day, surely one of them will adopt or have a child." She scoffed at this, "I got my tubes tied years ago." This wiped the smile off her face.

"Does Namjoon know about this?" She snapped and you nodded with a bitter smile.

"He accompanied me to the appointment for moral support." You shot back.

"Well, your tubes can be untied and-"

"No." You deadpanned.

"No?" She mimicked in disbelief.

 "If Namjoon requires a child, he will also require a new wife." Your voice was cold and you watched shock settle into the woman across from you, "With his habit of lying coming to light, he may have to find a new wife regardless."

She stood, "Don't be-"

"Please, do not waste your breath on orders I will not be following." You held your hand up to silence her.

"I'll call Namjoon, he can talk this out with you, so you can see things our way." She tried to sound reassuring as one of your staff rushed to see her out respectfully when you did not budge from your seat.

You stayed seated at the mahogany table, staring at your wedding ring. You didn't want to get a divorce. You loved Namjoon, more than anything, and yet, did he love you more than anything?

----

You're not sure how long you stayed there, questioning everything, but it was enough time for Namjoon to come home. He ripped the door open, eyes searching frantically, ready to make sure you had not already left him before his eyes landed on your figure. From there, he took his seat across from you at the table and waited until he could no longer take the silence.

"Are you going to say anything?" Your husband's voice was calm, although fear was evident in his timbre.

You sucked your teeth and shrugged, continuing to look at your freshly manicured nails, "What's there to say?" Your voice was short, as if you were already tired of the conversation before it could even start, "You lied to me."

Your husband dropped his head into his hands and sighed, "Junebug, I'm sorry, I-"

"You embarrassed me, again." You look at him for the first time all night with a sharp glare, "Are you trying to find an excuse to divorce or do you just not care about me?" 

"Neither!" His head shot up and he met your eyes with deep regret when he realized you were looking at him with the anger and hurt he found you with all this years ago, "I love you, more than anything-"

"Obviously not!" You snapped, "Do you have any idea how it feels to explain to your shitty and judgy mother in law that, in spite of what her precious son said, you had no plans to have children, that you got your fucking tubes tied?!" Namjoon sighed, either in shame or pain, "Were you just hoping that would come around? That I'm such a fickle woman that I don't mean what I say?" 

His brows furrowed, "No, if I thought that, why did I let you get your tubes tied?!"

"Let me?" Your voice was mockingly soft, "You let me, huh?" You cocked your head slightly and he closed his eyes in frustration, "How fucking charitable of you, my sweet husband, master of the fucking house, to let your dumb little wife make a choice for her body!" You stood, "How considerate of you to play supportive husband only to fold the moment your mother asks you a question-"

"You know what my duty as the only son is!" It was his turn to raise his voice, but he immediately regretted it as he saw your eye twitch.

"And you knew my stance on kids before you got out of prison." You seethed, "You know why I don't want a fucking kid, nor do I plan to fold on my stance, because I'm all I've got left there." Namjoon's mouth parted slightly before he pressed his lips together.

"It's not my fault you don't want a kid because you'd be a bad mother just like your own." The words left his mouth before he could even begin to consider the repercussions. He was about to open his mouth again to back track wildly, but it was far too late as you took a step back, the weight of his words being too much to take from across the table.

He watched hurt consume your irises for only the second time in his life, the first time being mere hours before you left him for years, before you made him promise to never betray you like that again as a condition for you to come back to him. A condition that he evident did not adhere to in your eyes. "Do you want to know what made my mother such a bad mother?" He watched as the embers of rage within your eyes were only stoked by his reflection in your pupils, although he could see a thin layer of moisture begin to build up, pain, "You know, like I would be?" Your words were almost mocking as he stayed eerily still, "An unsupportive, isolating, and shitty sorry excuse for a fucking husband." Your word hit him like a truck.

Unsupportive. Isolating. Sorry excuse for a husband.

You weren't wrong right now. He felt shitty. He knew he should've just stood his ground. His parents didn't matter if it meant losing you, "I didn't mean that, what I said about-"

"You're right." A tear fell and he felt his heart shatter, "So if you want a kid, it'll have to be with someone else."

"I don't want anyone else, I never have!" He made his way to you as you weakly stepped back, "You're all I need." His voice was soft as he went to grab your hand, but you pulled away.

"You said that last time." Your tears were beyond your control as you wiped at them in vain, "You said that mere days before you told your mom that we were going to have kids and you told me your mom took the news well." You sniffled, "You lied to me, I can't believe that you lied to me and let me just walk around like a fool believing you, again!" 

He was stunned silent again. You were right. He had lost his back bone under the strict gaze of his parents and folded under pressure. He betrayed you, and all he could do was hope for your forgiveness.

You shook your head as he remained mute, "I need some time." You went to walk past him and to the door but he engulfed you in a hug, "Namjoon!" You struggled weakly to pull him from you but froze when you heard a sniffle.

"Please, don't go." He begged as he held you close, "I can't lose you again, I'm so sorry, please."

You fought sobs from escaping your mouth, "You lied to me, and your mom-"

"I'll kill her if you want me to." He spoke and your blood ran cold at his tone. He was serious, "My mom and my dad, I'll tell them we're not having children and if they can't handle that, they can leave us alone or die."

Your eyes were wide, tears frozen in time. Namjoon loved his parents. He was always a kid intent on surpassing their expectations, and he had made that clear to you when you started dating in highschool. You were his only sign of rebellion. He was intended to marry a woman from an affluent family, but he met you. You had figured that would be where his rebellion ended, but here he was, handing his parent's hearts in your hands and awaiting orders.

"Joonie, y-you can't mean-" You sputtered to reason but he only held you tighter.

"Or even if you just want me to kill them, I will, with my own hands of course, nobody else can know." His remained headstrong in his resolve, stroking your hair, "I don't care what I have to do to keep you with me." He kissed the top of your head, "You are the only person, the only thing on this Earth that matters to me I cannot live without you." 

A sick, and extremely twisted part of you wanted to call your mother-in-law and say, "Hah!" You wanted to rub it in her face that her son, in spite of everything, chose you. Her precious boy has been yours for years now. However, your sanity slipped through the cracks as you shook your head again.

"You love your parents." You shook your head as you cried into his chest, "And if you felt that way, why would you lie to me?"

He sniffled, "I was weakened, not 100% sure you would truly accept me with open arms and I panicked when they asked." He sighed, "I know it's pathetic and I know I seemed like I knew we would make it, but I didn't know that. They never brought it up after that so I naively thought they would forget and when they asked me again, I would tell them the truth and-"

"You're so stupid." You cried harder into his chest and felt him nod, "If you're scared to face your parents, tell me, and we'll do it together." You were surely ruining his dress shirt, but he stroked your hair soothingly, "Your mom has been calling me a shitty wife for years and after today, she must truly believe it, and I-I should take some time-" Namjoon held you, arms sliding down your body as he got down to his needs and you felt your heart drop, and you gasped, "Stop, don't-" 

You tried to help him up but he grabbed your wrists as he looked up at you with tear stained cheeks and eyes as wet as yours, shaking his head at your frantic protests as he kissed your hands and your wedding ring tenderly, "I can't lose you again." His voice was weighty with sorrow at the thought of you being away from him, "You matter more to me than my duty as a successor does, than my parents do, even more than this whole fucking business." He rubbed his cheek against your hand in desperation as you stood frozen from the shock of Namjoon begging on his knees with the utmost humility. The most powerful man in the city, undoubtedly the country as well, was on his knees crying and begging you to stay, "If killing my parents is what I have to do to prove it, I will. Name how you want it done, when you want it done, and I'll do it." He was dead serious and he could tell you knew it as tears spilled onto your cheeks even more, "You're a better wife than I deserve, and all I can ever hope is to be even a fraction of the husband you deserve, and I'm sorry I've been missing the mark." This made your face twist in pain, regret. Namjoon, up until today, had been nothing short of perfect, and even now he was making up for it, "Almost losing you nearly killed me, and-and I get that sometimes people need time to calm down but I would just prefer you beat the shit out of me instead-"

"I didn't mean that either!" You cried out as you sunk down to your knees to hug the sobbing man before you, "You aren't a sorry excuse for a husband, you're just a goddamn idiot, and I didn't want time I just didn'twant to see your stupid face because I was so angry." You laughed as he did for a moment, "Above all else, you're an amazing husband. I love you, always have, I just hate when you lie-" Your voice in his ear was like heaven as he felt a weight lift of his shoulders.

He grabbed your legs to wrap around his waist before you could properly settle onto your knees. He held you close and he soothed your cries, "I haven't lied to you since, I can promise you that." He sighed and you scoffed, "You don't have to believe me. I'm just asking you to stay with me so I can prove it over time." 

"I'm...I'm not leaving you." You sighed into his neck before he pulled you back to trap your lips between his as he kissed your with a vigorous passion. When you returned his kiss with an equal amount of desperation, he began to stand with you in his arms before promptly laying you on the couch, never detaching his mouth from yours the whole time.

You settled into the velvet cushions as he ground himself into your sex, making you gasp, "I love you, my darling." He murmured into your mouth while one of his hands slid your dress up and your panties to the side before brushing his fingers across your pussy and groaning at your wetness, "Oh fuck, you're so wet, baby." His mouth went to your ear as you moaned, threading your fingers into his hair, "Was it me promising to kill for you or me getting onto my knees that did it, hm?" He rubbed slow circles over your clit and you gasped, "You get off on me spilling blood for you? You get wet by me demeaning myself to keep you right here, where you belong?" 

"Yes, daddy, I do- fuck!" You clutched his hair harder as his finger slipped in and your hips wiggled impatienly, "Just fuck me, I don't care about being stretched, fuck me." 

Too desperate to even hesitate, Namjoon undid his belt, ripping it from his trousers as he secured your wrists within the leather garment, as he had done many times before. He undid your belt as he pushed your arms up and his pants down with his boxers. He slid into you with a deep groan that you matched with a wanton moan. He fucked himself into you feverishly, wasting no time in chasing your high as his nimble finger went down to stimulate your clit, "I love you so fucking much, y/n." He groaned as he felt you tighten, "I don't care who I have to kill to prove it, I'll even let you watch the light drain from their fucking eyes if it means you'll stay with me." 

You moaned out as he whispered gruesome threats to the outside world intermingling with sweet nothings as he held the belt around your wrists,using it as leverage to fuck you harder. If you were sane, you would not be getting closer and closer to orgasm as he cursed the rest of the world into painful deaths just to have you as his wife, but here you were, clenching around him and opening your legs further so he can go deeper, "Shit, I'm gonna cum!" You cried out, arms going over Namjoon's head so you could pull him down to you by the neck and kiss his lips messily.

His hand went from your clit as he wrapped his arm around you to hoist you up and slam himself into you further, "That's right baby, cum for daddy and I'll give you my cum." He cooed in spite of the strain to keep himself from busting you before you get your release. His words only threw you over the edge as you climaxed, hurdling him into his own. He fucked his cum into you like always and you moaned lightly until he was done.

He held himself inside of you as you both gained your breath again, exchanging occasional kisses, "You don't have to kill them, you know." You spoke finally "Although, I won't be so cordial with their bullshit anymore."

He nodded, "I'm by your side, Junebug, forever and always." You smiled before kissing him.

"And I, you." You hummed blissfully.

"We have everything we need between just the two of us, I promise." He smiled against your kiss while you nodded, "You'll be the only one calling me daddy for the rest of out lives- hey!" You smack his chest lightly as you both laughed blissfully, letting the seriously twisted shit that just transpired be a simple part of the past.

"Your mom is a bitch." You giggled tiredly as he chuckled.

"Don't worry about being nice to her if you don't want to, I have my priorities straight." He gave you another kiss that you returned with glee.

As he was cleaning you up, your hazy mind allowed you to feel smug at the fact that you just saved your shitty in-laws from certain death. You were their ticket to life. You were their precious successor's priority. You were his only true love.

Namjoon watched with nothing but love as he tucked your sleeping form into bed. Thinking on it now, he doesn't know if he could even stand the idea of you loving a child as much as you loved him. He enjoyed his monopoly over your affection, and a child would only throw a wrench in that for him. Taehyung liked kids, Jungkook seemed like a family man, maybe even Hoseok if that new girl he's saying is as serious for him as he says. All it took was one kid to carry on the business, so you didn't need to worry your pretty little head about it.

All you had to worry about was staying by his side and all he had to worry about was being a good enough husband to keep you there. He kissed your forehead as he held you closer to him, texting his mom the next time she disrespects you or his marriage, there would be consequences. 

You were the only person he needed. He would do anything to make you understand that. 

The ticking of the clock was nowhere to be heard as you laid in Namjoon's arms. You snuggled into him as you caught sight of the thinly veiled threat he sent to his own mother on account of your feelings. He was yours just as much yours were his and the victory of it all had never tasted so sweet. His heartbeat was all you could hear, steady, loving, and to the beat of the drum you commanded. 

You both wouldn't have it any other way.

Masterlist

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