Tumgik
#even though the sadder ending was a surprise they set us up for it and have proper closure to the characters
dramarants · 2 years
Text
going through the 20th century girl tag to move on and appreciate all the great moments only to find out ppl would rather yijin died than not end up with heedo
#20th century girl#twenty five twenty one#20th century girl spoilers#spoilers#maybe I'm in a weird mood but I can't scroll any more asldkfj#I get why ppl say the movie did it better: pacing + showing aftermath + believable#even though the sadder ending was a surprise they set us up for it and have proper closure to the characters#and while I still have some gripes (what happened to the brother how did woonho diedoes the squad not stay in touch where are they all now)#overall it was solid#but idk if 25 21 pulled a 'he died' I'd be so pissed - it's lazy and thoughtless and not marrying your first love is realistic#their final scenes together were soooo good it's just the reason for parting was unbelievable & present day scenes left us with more qs#but to be like 'yijin and heedo were soulmates and their breakup is unthinkable so...#'instead of growing and moving ahead after all his struggles to establish himself and support his family he should just DIE'#like this 20th c girl ending is so much more heartbreaking imo sldkfjasdlldgfkj#watching him smile at sunrise all hopeful for a future with you he'll never have 22 years later is SO MUCH WORSE#idk I'm glad bora is shown smiling and cherishing what they had rather than mourning (tho she has every right too) but it still doesn't...#...feel like closure to me. but there really is no good parting when it comes to death huh#show me people can treasure their youth and still find happiness and fulfillment in unexpected ways down the line!!#there's a beautiful piece of 90s nostalgia media still waiting in the wings for us I just know it#just don't know how much I can take my heart being ripped to shreds in the meantime 😅#ranting
45 notes · View notes
luvt0kki · 2 months
Text
INTERLUDE | OPENING SEQUENCE
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧ s.w.m masterlist ୨୧⋆ ˚。⋆ taglist ⋆ ˚。⋆ ୨୧
This scene that locked me up The sequence that's like forever Stay for me, stay for me, stay for me I can't get used to it, used to it, used to it
🎧: Opening Sequence - TXT
Tumblr media
previous | INTERLUDE | next
pairings: ot8 x f!reader (san x reader)
w.c : 10k ( im sorry for any errors)
cw: mature, ,minors do not interact, nsfw, reader is afab, slow burn, polyamory, smut , bittersweet, angst, MC's background is inspired by Black Widow's background with the Red Room, reader is called sweet heart/baby, hints of abuse/manipulation, mc’s past, mention of their training days, injuries, scars, loss of virginity, first time, very very very longgggggg chapter I’m sorry
REMINDER: my works do not represent the irl members in any way, this is purely a work of FICTION.
a/n : surprise? SPECIAL CHAPTER!!!! I hope you guys like this one. I didn’t initially plan to write this but after posting chapter 005 I wanted to write something different or something else and this came about. I hope you guys like. Thank you for being so patient with me 🥺💗
DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE, OR OTHERWISE REPURPOSE ANY OF MY WORK HERE. I DO NOT NOR WILL ALLOW IT.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
“How long do you think before they find us here?”
The young assassin paused, his heart dropping. Never has he ever heard you, YOU, out of all the graduated students of the Academy, sound like this.
You were always so sure of yourself but now, he was hearing a completely different person yet so familiar. When was the last time he heard you like this? He was quick to recall it and that ache in his chest began to feel as if he was burning from the inside. This small, unsure, and weak voice belonged to the little girl he grew up with before the academy changed everything and he never heard you like this again.
Til today.
He was scared to turn around.
If your own resolve was shaking then the situation was worse than he thought.
San shook his head and continued to look around the padded room looking for any signs of a possible escape. Even if you two did get out, you two would have nothing but your knives and your fists.
“No one’s going to come for us, aren’t they Sannie?” You choked out his nickname so softly, that he felt his heart broke. “At the end of the day…” you went on, the fears of a little girl that San had failed to protect breaking through the facade the Academy molded and chiseled you in. “I’m just one of their many weapons. The other girls in the Academy…they’re good. Better. I will be of no use soon.”
San’s hands were beginning to tremble uncontrollably as he reloaded the gun. You were the Academy’s proudest creation, you had set the standard. Though those things were true, these were your fears. They were just as real.
“We’ve sent a Morse code to them. They’ll find us soon. They won’t let you go as easily.” San swallowed the lump in his throat trying to maintain composure and not let the impending doom of you both get to him.
What made him sadder was that he was right. The Academy won’t let you go. You were chained to them in a way, he wasn’t.
“Sannie…”
They could afford to lose him. He was a part of the top three of those who graduated with him but he wasn’t the first of the batch.
“They’ll come for you.”
The room that confined you two was dim. The skylight let some moonlight shine through to illuminate what it could in the darkness you two were submerged in. Did your captors really believe the Academy would buy their ransom for two of their assassins? They would come with a brute force that would leave them nothing in ashes. If no one came for the two of you, they’ll kill you both or worse, sell the two of you off to the market.
San would kill them before they even thought of selling you as a slave.
“Sannie, it’s cold.”
His composure broke then.
Gone was the weapon the Academy created.
Without any hesitation, San went to where you had been sitting (on the white sheet mattress in the room they threw you two in) then pulled you onto his lap with his arms wrapped around you. Your skin was cold to the touch and his desperation to hold you only grew. He cradled you so gently in his arms, scared that if he embraced you tighter you’d shatter.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered, resting his chin on the top of your head as he kept his gaze up, fighting back tears and the urge to press his lips on the the crown of your head. “I’m here. I'm not going anywhere.”
You were taught to never take anyone’s words seriously. Always doubt them, they once said. Doubt them until they prove it because you can never know what they mean and yet, you believed every word San said.
Every promise he has ever made, he kept them. Everything he said he would do, he did. But even if he didn’t prove to be a man of his word, the part of you that you pushed in the dark, would believe him blindly.
His strong arms held you in a way you never knew you needed to be held and the warmth of his body was giving you, melted away the armor you didn’t have the luxury to take off.
“Sannie,”
He loved it when you called him Sannie. Since you two met, he was your Sannie. If you asked him now, just once, to be yours, he’d be yours forever.
“Yeah?” He caressed your back in gentle circles, taking note of how your shivering lessened and your breathing calmed.
You didn’t continue your thought. It got stuck in your throat. How could you possibly say what you wanted to? Instead, you opted to bury your face into his neck. You’ll think about it for a bit…because what if it was the wrong time to say it?
“Can I hold your hand?”
Your voice was such a soft whisper, that San almost didn’t hear it. It was like you were embarrassed to have even asked, even though he’s held your hand so many times in secret during your training days when it was an evaluation day.
San hummed in response and carefully, still cradling you in his lap with your head leaning on his chest, slipped his hand with yours. He stared at your hands as he did. His hand was bigger than yours and his heart dropped when he realized you had taken off your gloves. Such delicate hands were bruised at the knuckles and hands that only ever touched or brushed him so gently.
He knew in your head you could only see how stained your arms were with blood.
“Your hands are cold,” he pointed out, pouting a little at the fact and like he did when you were younger, he took both your hands and brought them close to his mouth to breathe warmth into them.
You felt your heart thump particularly strong in your chest. The feelings you’ve had for San that you had hidden away because you were told you could never be loved nor love for you were only a weapon, returned.
Because you are a weapon, you would only ever hurt the people you love.
“How are you so warm?” You chuckled, falling into a comfort you denied yourself for so long. “If I remember correctly, you were such a small petite thing when we were younger. I was afraid you wouldn’t make it past the selection.”
He laughed softly at the memory. “I didn’t want to be left behind. I need to be with you no matter what.” He let himself speak freely and honestly, letting his hands warm yours.
“I would’ve purposely failed if that was the case. I wouldn’t want to continue on without you.” You admitted, feeling the ache of your muscles finally hit you.
“They would’ve known if you did.”
“That’s true.”
“I would catch up to you no matter what. To be by your side…” San paused, afraid to say what he wanted to in fear that you may not feel the same. “For a long time, I believe that’s where I belong.”
His words caught you off guard. Did Sannie know? Did he know that you loved him? There was no way he could but the possibility of attraction between the two of you could not be ruled out so easily. It was there. You both knew it. You two just never spoke of it.
“Do you still believe that?” You asked, feeling a little braver and desperate.
What if this was it? It had been four days since the enemy got the upper hand and immobilized you and San and sealed you two up in this room. What if the Academy did abandon you both? Weapons are replaceable.
“I’m here with you now, aren’t I?”
He’s always been there.
You lifted your head off his shoulder to gaze up at him.
Gone was the little boy you worried about whenever you two trained separately. The one who was easily thrown and bullied around by his much stronger contenders. You were afraid of losing him even then because you had wondered why someone with such a gentle heart could ever hurt people. For goodness sake, he continued to let himself get beaten up just because one of the much younger trainees out of desperation and hunger, stole a piece of roasted sweet potato.
Before you now was a man. San still had the handsomeness he’s had since he was younger except it matured and bloomed into sharp features and a striking beauty that lost all the softness of his younger self. His body was no longer frail and sickly. His back and shoulders became broad, lean muscles had grown and given him more shape that reminded you of the prowess of a black panther.
But when he smiled.
He was the Sannie you cared for and loved so deeply…so quietly.
“Can you promise me something?” You asked, feeling your heart begin to ache.
“Anything for you.” He smiled softly down at you and you wished he hadn’t because it’d made your heart want him even more.
“If we get out of this alive…” you felt tears begin to form in your eyes. “Promise me you’ll leave the academy.”
“Y/N—,” he began to protest, sitting up a little bit you shushed him gently and changed your positions.
You cupped his face gently with your hands and looked straight into his eyes.
“When we get out of here, you need to disappear. Leave this life behind.”
San has never seen you cry since the Selection. Your eyes which were usually blank and cold, and that only ever warmed when you looked at him were glassy with tears and there was fear in them. Pure fear and hurt.
“P-please, Sannie. Leave the Academy.”
Why were you asking him something so difficult?
“You deserve more than this life. You should be able to live freely and to love freely. Leave all this behind. Leave me behind.” You were begging him now, your hot tears falling onto his beautiful face. His eyes were so gentle as they looked up at you.
“Don’t ask me of this, Y/N.” He tried to be stern to mask the breaking of his heart. “You know I can’t do that!” He wrapped his arms around your waist. “I can’t. I can’t…I can’t.” His voice was trembling, both your fears breaking you down.
“Do it for me, Sannie.” You wiped his tears away with your thumbs, fighting the urge to kiss the beauty mark on his upper cheek. “If one of us gets to be free, it should be you.”
“That’s not fair, Y/N.” He grabbed you by the back of your neck while his other hand brought your leg to be able to wrap around him, consumed by the need to be close to you. He pressed your forehead against his.
“We both deserve to live. If we’re talking about who should be free, it should be you.” He said through gritted teeth, still not letting all his composure go. How could you think so little of your life? “You’re not a weapon.”
He took your hand and placed it over where his heart would be. “We both have hearts that beat. We both have tears to cry. You breathe just like I do. You feel just like I do…you can love just like I do.”
San’s words echoed in your head, they rang like an alarm as those words breached the codes that the Academy programmed into you.
You couldn’t think straight. None of you could.
‘You can love just like I do.’
Could you, really?
Your bleary eyes searched San’s glimmering onyx orbs. You were scared to find nothing but conviction and such surety that made you believe him that you could. The hope in his eyes frightened you.
You didn’t know how to love. You only assumed to know that love was a precious emotion you could never have. The Academy said love was a weakness but all the training and programming they did, seemed to not exist at this very moment. Neither did it for San.
Well in his case, you had always been his exception to every rule. He’d break rules, laws, and bones for you.
“I don’t know if I can,” you sobbed softly. The fact you don’t even know how to love makes you feel as if you weren’t human.
Love was different from lust. You knew that. Everyone, even those under the Academy, had needs and everyone was left to handle it themselves as long as it didn’t compromise their abilities or get in the way of missions.
To put it simply, they just fucked for the feeling of it.
But no one touched you. You wouldn’t let it happen. You couldn’t. The other girls were nice enough to tell you how to do it yourself and you wondered if San has ever needed to get those needs out of the way…and the thought of who it could’ve been with made your chest ache at the thought.
“You can.” He smiled, so soft and gentle, it made you wonder if anyone else in the galaxy could look at you that way. So fondly and not the monster and killer you really were.
San held your hand that was against his heart tightly, still smiling up at you so sweetly you didn’t think you could handle that look. It was so foreign to you.
“Y/N, if you’ll let me,” San didn’t care anymore. If you two were going to die tomorrow and if he was going to do as you made him promise, he’d hold you and speak as if this was his last night in this life. “Let me make you feel. It doesn’t have to be love. But please, let me make you truly feel.”
You knew you could say no and it would be okay. All your time in the Academy, you realized the only time you ever felt safe was when you were with San. You didn’t have to keep your guard up with him and you didn’t have to lie to him.
Throwing all caution out the window and focusing on San, just him, you exhaled softly, unaware that you had been holding your breath.
“O-okay.” You held his face softly once more, telling yourself he was real. That he was here, he had never left you not once and he wouldn’t leave you til you told him to. “P-please Sannie.” Your voice quivered. “I want to feel alive.”
“Don’t cry, my darling,” he cooed, wiping your tears away. “You know I’ll do anything for you, right?”
You nodded, letting yourself enjoy the soft touch of his hands in your hair and on your face, and the warmth of his embrace.
“Can I kiss you?”
You felt heat bloom in your cheeks at the question. San knew you’d never been kissed. Well, he knew because first of all, he was your closest friend in the Academy and you told him everything, and secondly, he may or may not have scared off anyone else who wanted to.
“O-okay.” You’ve never felt so shy.
“I won’t ever hurt you, Y/N.” He leaned closer, your heart racing you felt as if it was going to jump out of your chest. “With everything I am and as long as I’m around, I won’t let anything hurt you.”
Your lips parted the slightest bit as his sweet words overwhelmed you with a sensation you’ve only ever felt in tingles whenever you were with him and now they were bursts of warmth that radiated throughout your body.
The plumpness of your lips and that innocent and pure way you gazed at home made him lose all his resolve. Softly as if handling the finest and most fragile porcelain, he pressed his lips against yours, their softness and their warmth, and the closeness of it all, made him feel as if the world had stopped.
You didn’t know what to do but when his lips gently moved against yours, a part of you made you do the same. It’s like your body needed to reciprocate his actions naturally. Maybe it was because you had thought about kissing him and wondered about it late at night til your face was hot and you were flustered at the imagination of what it’d feel to be closer to Sannie in a different way…
Gently, San helped you sit comfortably on his lap, supporting your back as he kissed you, tasting the sweetness of your lips that had a hint of metallic taste from the small cut on your lower lip. He’d kiss away all your cuts and bruises if you’d let him. He’d kiss them to make you forget the pain.
San was still holding back though.
He didn’t want to do anything you didn’t want.
But the way you had begun to kiss him back with the same need as he did, only made it harder for him to not lose himself.
Pulling away reluctantly, he looked at you. Your pretty lashes fluttered so prettily as you blinked dreamily at him, your lips were a glistening pink and your cheeks were glowing.
What made San fall even harder in that moment was the way you shyly looked away when he had been staring.
“Sannie…” you murmured, squeezing his shoulders nervously and completely aware that you were sitting on his lap, straddling him.
You just had your first kiss. San had just kissed you.
“Can I touch you?”
You felt your ears grow hot. “Aren’t you already?” You murmured. His hands were already on your waist and when they weren’t there they were in your hair or caressing your face.
“Let me rephrase that,” He chuckled and pressed his lips onto the corner of your mouth. “Can I…” he kissed your cheek, each kiss making warmth bloom wherever they touched you. “Touch…” He caressed the curve of your spine, your lower back tingling at the gentle touch. “All of you?”
“Y-yes.” You had uttered out so quickly and softly, that you felt embarrassed. You didn’t even think twice.
“You can touch me too,” San began to kiss along the column of your neck, the sensation making you shiver. “You can touch me however you want, Y/N.” He gripped your hips just a little bit tighter, enjoying the way you cutely squirmed.
“Sannie,” you softly called out to him, making him part from your neck which he had been kissing and licking.
His brows rose at your call, waiting for whatever you needed to say but in all honesty, you just needed to feel his lips on yours again.
So without a word, you cradled San’s handsome face in both hands before crashing your lips onto his, surprising not only him but also yourself at how greedy you had become. You didn’t know you could feel such sensations and the kiss just sparked a flame you never knew could come alive, and now that it was lit, it began to burn.
“T-touch me,” you whispered desperately between kisses, his own lips hungrily kissing you back.
San felt as if he was dreaming when those words slipped past your lips and even more so how prettily you moaned when caressed the underside of your breast with his thumb. He was surprised with how sensitive you were. You were still in your cat suit and yet you reacted so quickly to his touch.
His lips and your lips messily danced with desperation to drink each other's heat and passion. Your own hands had begun to tug at his armored protective suit while he also made quick work of your catsuit. San not wanting to leave the warmth of your lips, took his time to unzip the front of your suit. He wanted to be gentle with you despite the lust that was burning him from the inside out he just wanted to feel you and make you feel.
His lips finally left yours only to attack your neck with hot kisses, making you moan out softly. Gently he laid you on the worn-out mattress, parting from you completely so he could kneel between your thighs. Your eyes remained on him as he removed his protective vest, discarding it somewhere in the room before he peeled off his long sleeve over his head. His muscular chiseled body was illuminated by the moonlight, every ridge and ripple of muscle was accentuated by the shadows of the room. You felt a familiar heat pool in your lower body the more you stared at San’s physique and you blushed and turned away when he caught you staring.
The edge of San’s mouth twitched into a small smile, finding your timidness to be rather adorable. He liked how flustered you became because of him. San reached for your hips to pull you closer, your eyes widening when he did.
San found the zipper of your catsuit again, his heart thrumming in his chest as he slowly pulled it down. His breathing grew heavy as yours quickened with how the suit slowly opened revealing glimpses of your naked skin beneath. The rise and fall of your chest along with the sight of the valley of your breasts and hints of your body before him, made his throat dry.
He wanted to take his time but at the same time, his long infatuation that had turned to something more over the years made it difficult.
When the cold air kissed your bare skin, you felt your nipples pebble and harden against the fabric of the suit, making you want to rub your thighs together but that was impossible when San was knelt between your thighs.
“Can I keep going?” He asked you, pausing the pull of your zipper before it could go lower than your belly button. He searched for any uneasiness in your eyes but instead, he found such a sweet yet sinful look in them.
You nodded. “Y-yes, please.”
Gently, he helped you slip your arms out of the suit, his breath hitching at the sight of your bare pretty breasts bouncing free as he bunched the specialized Kevlar-like fabric at your waist. His palms were at least a micro-centimeter away from your skin. Almost afraid and hesitant to truly feel you. An assassin without their suit was just as deadly as them having one but with you, he felt as if without it, you were just a woman. A woman who wanted to be loved…a woman he loved.
Kissing you drove him crazy enough but to get to touch you? He’s going to crumble.
It seemed you had noticed his hesitation and driven by your silent desire, you took his hand and splayed fingers and pressed his palm over the middle of your chest, close to where your heart would be.
You didn’t say a word as his eyes snapped to meet yours. All it told him was that this was consensual, that you wanted him to touch you, and that he could keep going.
If this was truly yours and his last night in this world, none of you wanted to hold back.
“Sannie…” his heart stopped when you softly called out his name. Your eyes looked into his as if he brought you peace, there was no turmoil nor anxiety in them. The cold and dark blankness that they held when you’re on a mission or on Academy grounds was absent.
Right here, before him was just you. The young girl he once knew that the Academy caged and programmed to be a weapon in their beck and call, a woman who did not have the time to love or be loved, nor was allowed to. But if you were to tell him you were incapable of loving, he’d prove to you that you were wrong.
Maybe you didn’t know it then but the compassion you had shown him during your trainee days when he was nothing but the runt of the litter of kids with no future chosen by the Academy to be given a chance, that in its own way was love.
The way you stuck by him, took time to check if he was okay and to defend him from higher ranking assassins, even if it was platonic or more, it was love.
You slipped your fingers into his, intertwining them.
“Keep going.”
There was a hint of sadness in your smile despite the way you looked so longingly at him as if he were the warm shining sun.
He continued to unravel you. Gently, he rolled the fabric to slip past your hips. Despite your line of work, your skin was close to perfect in his eyes. No deep scars nor wounds that left a memory of your missions plus the Academy took good care of their favorites.
But the sight before him proved him wrong.
His heart dropped into his stomach and he felt your hand squeeze his.
Below your belly button and not fully hidden by the waistband of your black underwear, a long jagged scar curved along your lower abdomen. The scar was healed but it left its mark. It sickly smiled at him in a deeper shade than your complexion with pinkish hues.
“W-what is this?” He held your hip gently, his thumb caressing your hipbone afraid to touch that area skin, should you not like it.
He felt his heart break when you only looked at him sadly. “Y/N, w-what is this?” He croaked out hoarsely, his heart breaking when you looked at him that way and continued to hold his hand in yours.
“My graduation.”
The world stopped and he heard nothing but a dull ringing in his ears.
The Academy.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it didn’t matter. Why should I speak of something that I could never get back.”
“D-don’t talk like that. Y/N you should’ve told me.”
You sat up, heart breaking when you heard his voice crack. San didn’t even realize that tears were falling from his eyes as he stared at that mocking smiling scar. Just when he thought the Academy couldn’t take any more from you, they took everything.
Well, almost everything. But not him. They were not taking him away from you. Never.
“Sannie, don’t cry.” You smiled, wiping his tears away. “I didn’t tell you 'cause I knew you’d cry.” You took a deep breath, finally telling your closest friend of so many years the secret you’ve kept from him. “This is why you should leave the Academy and live a life you truly deserve. You have a chance for a future you want. Mine…well…mine was taken from me. It was a silly dream I had when we were kids.”
“When we spent time around the towns and I’d see people getting married and having families, I thought I could have that. I thought I was going to marry you and have a family. At twelve years old.” You laughed softly at the childhood memory. “At twelve years old, I looked at you, my best friend, and thought ‘I’m going to marry San’ and that we’re going to be as happy as the families I’ve seen. That I would have a child and give them the life I never had…but then the Academy happened.”
San’s tears streamed down his handsome face and you held his face in your hands once more, making him look at you.
“I don’t want to think about that tonight. I don’t want to think about what I went through to stay alive.” You leaned down to kiss his jaw and your breath was hot against his ear as you uttered words that shattered his heart even more. “So don’t touch me like I’m made of glass. You can’t break something that’s already broken. Make me forget, Sannie.”
You kissed him again then took his hand that was on your hip and guided it to cup your breast, your body tingling and warming at the touch. The simple gesture told him one thing. Throw caution out the window. Nothing else mattered now except you and him. If both of you were going to die tomorrow, you both wanted to feel love and act on desires that both of you held back on.
Driven by the love he harbored for you for so long, he attacked your neck with heated kisses and caressed your bare torso with such a need to feel your skin.
Your warmth and your scent, he could die in it.
Sloppily, he licked and nibbled at the juncture of your neck and shoulder before going lower, and hungrily taking the soft peak of your breast into his hot mouth.
You gasped and moaned at the sudden and new sensation, your body tingling over and your hips mindlessly grinding on San’s thigh. You shivered at the spark of friction and loosely wrapped your arms around his head, your fingers combing through his hair as his tongue flicked and swirled over your sensitive nipple while his other hand gave your other breast attention. He squeezed and massaged them just as greedy as his mouth was latched onto your right tit.
Soon, clothes were haphazardly thrown away and you were on your back completely on display for San’s eyes and his eyes only. The coldness of the room was forgotten as your bodies began to burn with lust and yours continued to grow hotter as he kissed along your inner thigh, his slit cat-like predatory gaze never leaving your face.
Your thigh was hooked over his left shoulder and San took his time kissing your soft plush thighs, nipping and biting where he wanted and enjoying the way you squirmed and trembled. But when he came face to face with your pretty pink pussy before him, he felt like he could cum untouched.
His gaze was hot as he stared at your core and you wanted to close your thighs but it was impossible with San’s position. He rested his hand over your lower belly as he licked his lips.
“You’re dripping,” he said lowly, eying your slick pink folds and your little pulsing hole that pushed more arousal out the more he teased you. He brushed his thumb over your clit and your hips bucked.
Fuck, he swore to himself. You were so sensitive.
Biting his lip, he collected your arousal and messily spread it all over your cunt. You could feel the warm sticky slick over your skin and you only grew more needy for his touch. You’ve touched yourself plenty of times when you needed to…but it was different when it was someone else, it was different that it was San.
“Fuck,” he hissed softly, feeling how wet you were and how easily his thumb was able to circle around your sensitive clit, enjoying the reactions he was eliciting from you. “Does that feel good, sweetheart?”
You nodded, shamelessly.
“Have you ever been touched here?” He asked, wondering if you were like the other assassins who deal with their desires by sleeping with another assassin. If you answered yes, he’d be jealous. He’s already jealous at the thought of someone else being as close as he was to you right now.
But your answer was more than he expected.
“N-no. Just me.” You breathily replied, biting back a moan when he pressed a little more as he massaged your clit in slow languid circles.
“Yeah? Just you? All alone?”
“Mhm Hm.” You bit your lip, your hips bucking into his hand for more.
You were driving him crazy. He was imagining you touching yourself in your room. Pretty little hand in your panties playing with yourself underneath the covers and biting back your moans like you were right now.
“You know…there’s something better than just your fingers,” he inched closer, his breath fanning over your pussy, the heat of it making you clench around nothing. He hooked his arms underneath your thighs to hold you down and keep your hips still.
“Your fingers?” You guessed, blinking at him and watching his every move. You found it rather embarrassing that he was this close to your intimate area.
“Definitely,” he chuckled at your response. “But not that, sweetheart.” He kissed the top of your pubic bone. “Something even better.”
Before you could ask what, his pink tongue peeked from his lips and licked a long stripe from your dripping hole and up your clit. You moaned at the feeling, squirming in his hold. Not one second did his eyes leave yours, the intensity of them made you need him more, and when he slowly flicked his tongue around your clit, tasting you, the pleasure went straight to your head.
“A-ah, Sannie,” you gasped but it didn’t end there.
As he had done with your breast, he latched his hot lips onto your core and began tasting you.
San moaned against your pussy at the sweet taste of your cunt, slurping and hungrily licking at your arousal as if he didn’t want to let a single drop go to waste.
It was downright dirty. Pornographic.
He kissed and made out with your core like he had with your lips. You never knew that you could feel such mind-numbing pleasure like this. His tongue was so hot and his lips were so soft, and just when you thought it couldn’t get better, you felt the tip of his finger tease your entrance.
It was almost too much.
You gripped his dark hair and tugged when you felt him slip a digit inside of you. His finger was thicker than yours, longer too. A rush of arousal washed over you when you heard him moan against your pussy when you pulled his hair.
“You’re so wet, fuck. You taste so good.” He briefly left your clit then licked at the pearl before saying. “My finger slipped in so easily, sweetheart. I think you can take another one already. Can’t you?”
“Y-yes. San, please. I-I need more. Please.” You panted breathlessly. Just as you asked, he delivered.
He added another finger into your hole, slowly slipping them in and losing his fucking mind at how tight you were sucking his digits in. He could only imagine how heavenly it must feel when it was his cock instead.
“So fucking tight, sweetheart.” He bit his lip, slowly beginning to pump his fingers in and out of you, his fingers completely covered in your slick. “You like that, darling? Love how my fingers are filling you up?”
You nodded, gripping the mattress below you as your hips moved on their own, and words you’ve never thought you’d say out loud slipped past your lips. “W-want to feel you deeper. M-more please.”
San could only smile at your reaction before he latched his mouth again onto your clit while fingers curled inside of you. You swore at how easily he found that spot you desperately tried to find on your own in the privacy of your room. His fingers were thicker and your chaste walls welcomed them so easily. The way he touched you and pleasured you felt so good, you didn’t care about the lewd squelching sounds your pussy made as he fucked his fingers into you. You could even feel your arousal drip from your hole and onto the mattress.
His eyes were peacefully closed shut as he tasted you. It was as if he was savoring every single bit of you and this kind of attention was making a familiar warmth bloom in your chest.
“S-San, w-wait, I-I’m,” you stuttered out, feeling your core tighten, the familiar sensation of being on that edge far more intense than when you touched yourself alone.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay,” he murmured against your core, releasing your overstimulated clit with a soft wet pop. “Cum for me. Be a good girl and cum for me.”
Something about what he said and how he flicked his tongue against your clit as his fingers mercilessly pumped and curled inside of you, sent you over the edge. You gasped as your hips trembled and your walls convulsed around his fingers, your climax making you shake and your mind go blank momentarily.
San hummed deeply, the vibration of the sound along with how he slowly lapped your release and moved his lips as he did, made some part of your brain melt.
He couldn’t get enough and he quite literally was acting as if this was his last meal on earth.
“S-Sannie, wait—ah!” He prolonged your organs with his lazy kisses and languid kitten licks.
Once he had gotten enough (though he doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough), he parted from your lower lips to look at you through hooded eyes full of hunger and lust. It made your heart race.
With his eyes locked on yours, he thought his two fingers that had been inside of your heat to his lips and licked your essence off of it, a sudden heat passing through your body at the visual.
“You taste like heaven, sweetheart.” He moaned deeply, taking his time to taste you on his fingers.
“H-how about you?” You asked, your voice breathy and higher than its usual tone.
He caressed your thighs, lovingly as you came down from your high. “What about me sweetheart?”
Your hands caressed his toned stomach, tracing the lines of his abs and stopping before the waistband of his briefs.
“Do I get to taste you?”
San’s cock throbbed at your question that sounded so innocent from your lips. He wants to make this all about you but you were making it difficult for him to not be selfish and focus on making you feel good.
Still lightheaded from your orgasm, you sat up and crawled to San, the man before you gulping at the visual of you on your knees and seeing the beautiful shape of your back, it was like looking at a cat. You knelt by him, meeting his height before placing your hands on his shoulders and moving him to sit on the mattress with his back against the wall.
“I want to taste you, Sannie.” You purred, sitting a top of your folded legs, his own legs spread to make room for you.
He raised a brow watching you, amused at your actions. Even like this, he looked so attractive.
San smiled softly at you and caressed your cheek as you looked at him with round wide eyes. “Are you sure, sweetheart?”
You nodded, experimentally teasing the imprint of his length in his briefs. His breath hitched at the mere touch of your fingertips, his excitement making his thighs tense.
“Teach me how?” You looked at him through your lashes and the sweet determined look you had turned him on even more.
You were rather shy that you asked him to show you but little did you know, that just sent his mind places. Was he really your first?
Curiously, you palmed his length making a shaky breath leave him. “Did that feel good Sannie?”
“F-fuck… y-yes. It felt good sweetheart.”
“Can I take it off?” You tugged at the waistband lightly and he nodded eagerly.
You pulled down his boxers and once the garment was down past his hips, his cock sprung free from its confines. It slapped against his hard abdomen and you felt your mouth water at the sight.
Not knowing what it’d do to him, you slowly wrapped your hand around his length to gauge his size and San hissed at the warmth of your soft palm. He was hot and stiff, and the pink head was glistening with a slick liquid. With your other hand, your fingertips spread his precum all over the bulbous round tip.
“Oh, sweetheart, you’re torturing me.” He groaned the more you massaged this sensitive tip.
You felt your core tingle at the sight of his furrowed brows and his parted lips as you touched him. You wanted to make him feel good too.
“What do you want me to do, Sannie?” Your voice was so sweet.
“F-fuck, baby, spit on it a-and then wrap your pretty hand around me, okay?” His hand gently cupped the back of your neck.
A little hesitant but doing as he said, you spat on his cock, and the dirty sound and act of it made his cock twitch. You were guessing that you should spread it around and when he hummed, it told you, you were doing something right.
“Such a good girl, sweetheart.” He cooed. “Now wrap your hand around me. Fuuuck. Just like that.”
Feeling excited with all the praise he was giving, you kissed his neck slowly, doing as he did to you earlier.
“M-move your hand up and down, sweetheart.”
“O-okay.”
Your saliva mixed with his precum gave lubrication for you to easily glide your hand up and down his shaft.
“That’s it, baby. That feels so good. Fuck.” He moaned. “Come here, let me kiss you.”
You do as he says and kiss with his, moving your lips with his, and your core clenched when you could taste a sweet yet slightly salty flavor on your lips. Was that you? The fact you were tasting yourself on his lips turned you on.
The two of you stayed like that; making out while your hand pumped his cock, feeling his girth and his length. You couldn’t help but wonder how he’d feel inside of you but you wanted to taste him first like you said.
You pulled away from his lips and they pouted at the loss of them but he couldn’t stay disappointed for long, not when your tongue just did a kitten lick on his sensitive tip.
“Fuck, sweetheart, are you really sure?” He moaned, not wanting to force you. He was happy enough that you had been jerking him off. You really didn’t have to return the favor if you didn’t want to.
“Mhm.” You hummed, following your instincts and taking his leaking tip in your mouth, while your hand continued to move up and down his shaft.
His taste made your head spin and your clit throb. You liked the taste of him, it was a little salty but it was just him.
“Shit-,” he threw his head back, his other hand gripping the mattress as you licked and suckled at his tip. “That feels so good. Fuck. Don’t stop. Such a good girl using your pretty mouth on me. Do I taste good?”
You hummed so cutely as a yes. God, he’d do anything for you. How were you this cute?
“Do you think you can take more of my cock in your mouth? You think you can take it?”
His dirty talk made you even wetter and you were sure that you were dripping at this point.
Could you take it? There was only one way to find out.
Breathing through your nose and flattening out your tongue, you slipped his cock deeper almost choking when the hot tip touched the back of your throat but you against your gag reflex and tried to mimic what your hand had been doing. You slowly moved your head up and down, bobbing rhythmically on his cock.
San moaned breathily. This was your first time taking cock in your mouth? “You’re a fucking natural, baby. Fuck. That feels good. You look so pretty like this. Could cum just watching you.”
What you couldn’t take in your mouth, you made up for with your hand, earning more moans from San. You liked this. You liked making him feel good. You liked having his cock inside your mouth, you wanted to taste more than his cock.
You wanted more.
“Fuck,” he swore when he felt you bravely take a little deeper, feeling the way the start of your throat constricted at the intrusion of his cock. “Sweetheart, if you keep doing that—,”
You bobbed your head faster, not caring that you were making such lewd slurping and sucking sounds. He had done the same for you and at that moment you understood why he had enjoyed tasting you.
San’s thighs began to clench and his core tightened further. His knuckles were turning white at how hard he was gripping the mattress in one hand while the other grabbed your ass, making you yelp and take more of him deeper in your throat, which pushed him over the edge.
There was a cute surprised squeak that came from you which was the cherry on top of him spilling his load inside your mouth. Your eyes widened as you felt his hot release go down your throat and they fluttered close as you savored the taste of him.
San was losing it when he felt your throat move as you swallowed his cum. He didn’t know you were going to do that. What’s making his head spin further and making his hazy orgasmic bliss last longer was how you kept him inside your mouth, just the tip, and licking the slit of his cock head.
You pulled away, his cock falling on his stomach, still hard and you sat so cutely in between his legs as he panting and coming down from his high.
You wiped the edge of your mouth and licked what was left of him on your lips.
“Sannie tastes good.”
You didn’t know you had said that out loud in such a soft manner that made San swoon.
San like a cat, pounced on you.
He was once again all over you. Your back was against the mattress as he found his place between your thighs. You eyed his cock, still hard and glistening from when it had been in your mouth. Your walls clenched when San wrapped his own hand around his pretty cock and pressed the head against your clit making you whimper.
San rubbed the tip of his cock through your slit, spreading your slick and coating himself with it. You were so drenched that it was driving him crazy, he wanted to bury his cock deep inside you so bad but when his eyes met the long scar smiling from one hip bone to the other. He wanted to take his time. For you.
“Y/N,” he said softly, holding your hips with care. Even though you told him that he couldn’t break what was broken, he wouldn’t want to think of breaking you. In fact, he wanted to make you feel full, whole, and complete. He wanted to care for you in a way you deserved. “Am I your first?”
The sudden question threw you off. It made you realize that he was going to be your first. Concepts like those shouldn’t matter to you especially since you didn’t have the time to think of such a thing.
“Y-yes…” you admitted, relaxing a little. “You’re the first person to ever kiss me too. I want you to be my first, Sannie.” Your heart was aching while your body burned for him. “And if this is our last night alive, I wouldn’t have imagined anyone else being my first and my last. I’m glad…it’s you.”
San didn’t know if this was the right time to say the three words he’d been dying to say to you for so long. “For me…” he slowly moved his hips, rubbing his length between your slick folds, making your face relax into that flushed blissful expression.
“It’s always been you.”
You didn’t have time to think or question what that meant. Not when the tip of his cock teased at your entrance, just pressing against it.
Slowly, he let the head pop inside your cunt, both of you gasping. The girth of his cock stretched you out more than you could ever with your two fingers and there was a slight sting as he entered, making you bite your lip and whimper.
But he was attentive.
San intertwined his fingers with yours while his other hand held your hip still as he slowly, little by little, inch by inch, pushed his cock deeper into your tight wet heat. The velvety warmth of your walls made his head spin and the way they hugged his cock was heaven. The carnal part inside of him wanted nothing more than to thrust deeply into you and have you falling apart for him.
“S-Sannie, m-more.”
He growled lowly. Despite this being your first time, the wetness of your heat made his cock slip in so easily. Both of you watched as his cock split your lower lips apart and how his length slowly disappeared into you. You were bewildered that San was inside of you. You never knew just how badly you wanted to be close to him until tonight.
The circumstances were dire, it was hopeless but you had him.
“I want to feel more.” You squeezed his hand as he pushed his hips a little further. “Y-you’re so thick.”
San must be dreaming.
You brought your free hand over your mouth as the sensation of being filled up was such a pleasure you’ve never felt before. It was too much and not enough at the same time.
“You’re taking me so well, sweetheart. You’re doing so well.”
He cooed and praised you for each inch you took of him and there was something about the heat of him inside you, spreading apart your chaste walls that made your thighs shiver as he bottomed out.
San let out a long exhale, cursing as he felt his whole length be snuggly embraced by your velvety warm walls. He could even feel your arousal coat him and drip out of your entrance. He was ascending. He was the closest he could ever get to the person he’s only ever seen as the love of his life.
You looked so beautiful before him. How could you be so bashful yet exuding such allure? Your hand squeezed his as you adjusted to his cock inside of you, he could even feel the way your walls squeeze and contracted as you did. Fuck. He was your first. The first man to ever have the privilege to be this close to you, to feel you, and to see you in a state so vulnerable that you hid from everyone.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” San asked, massaging your hips to help you relax. You were squeezing him so tight. “Does it hurt?”
His sweet voice and the care in them made your heart crack. What did you do to deserve someone like Choi San?
“N-not really. It’s just…new.” You whimpered when the head of his cock that was in your mouth earlier was snug against your cervix. “I-I can feel you.”
That made San’s head spin. “Y-yeah?”
“Mhm.” You nodded, holding his hand and looking into his eyes. “I…feel…you.”
Each word held so much weight and emotion that San couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and crashing his lips on yours. He could feel you too and he loved the feeling of you. He drew his hips back just a little, slowly giving you shallow thrusts to get you used to him. You gasped at the sensation of his cock gliding and scraping your walls, the friction so sinfully and mind-numbingly good.
San continued to kiss you, his tongue delving into your warm wet mouth, the two of you kissing messily as his cock eased its way out of your walls leaving only the tip in. You squirmed. The first taste of the motion of his length inside you sparked a rush that felt addicting and when he easily slid back into you again, it confirmed that growing addiction.
“S-Sannie!” You cried out, arms wrapping around him, holding onto him as he stroked your walls deeply.
“F-fuck, Y/N, you feel so good.” He groaned, burying his face into your neck, kissing the spots he hadn’t marked with love bites.
Your legs wrapped around his waist, your lust mixing with greed as you needed more of the feeling that San was giving you. You’ve never felt so much in your time of being alive. It was new. It was something you never had before.
The deep passionate rolls of hips with every intention to make you feel pleasure, the hot kisses on your neck, the sweet nothings he’d whisper, and the gentle caresses on your body. It made you dizzy, you’ve never lost yourself in something so…euphoric.
As San continued to glide his cock in and out of your tight heat, with his forehead against your chest, his eyes met that scar on below your belly once more, his heart aching. Why did they take that away from you? It was so cruel of them.
His emotions were all mixed up. You two might not live to see another day after this night and the two of you acting on your emotions and passions that had been suppressed for so long were both overwhelming. Plus the truth of what happened to you during your Academy days hurt him.
All he knew was he wanted to you to feel all of him. To make you feel his love and desire for you with every touch, every kiss, and every strong drive of his hips.
The passion and the way you two had been showing it to one another became more carnal as the lust muddled both your brains with nothing but unspoken love and the need to just fuck.
San’s hips picked up their pace. He thrusted and drove into you so deeply, each scrape and glide of his length inside you made his fat cock head kiss your cervix and pound into that one spot that sent you shivering and moaning.
San liked those sounds of yours. Accompanied by the lewd wet squelching and the sound of skin slapping against skin, it was driving him crazy.
“You feel that, sweetheart?” He placed his palm just below where your scar was, where he was fucking you. “That’s me.”
“C-can feel you, Sannie! Oh god,” you cried out, nails digging into his back. You could feel him waking up every fiber of your being with pleasure. “Want to feel more of you. D-don’t stop, please. Want you. I want you.” You were rambling mindlessly too lost in the pleasure, too lost in the heat of his thick cock filling you up.
“I won’t stop, baby. Can’t stop. I need you so bad. You need me to right? Fuck,” he felt you squeeze him tighter. “I’ll make you feel good, Y/N.” He moved his palm lower to find your sensitive pearl all puffy and sticky with your arousal.
Your back arched into him as he massaged your clit.
“You look so beautiful,” he whispered, fucking you til you both get your fill. Even if you both came now, he doesn’t think he’ll have enough of you. He wanted to fuck you so passionately. He wanted to drink what he could of you as this might just be your last night together. “Are you close, sweetheart?”
“Y-yes!” You croaked out, panting with each thrust of his cock. “W-wanna cum, Sannie. P-please.”
“Don’t worry, pretty. I’ll make you cum. I’ll fucking make you cum.” He growled, his hips picking up their pace. Your mouth fell open. The new pace had his cock hitting your g-spot at such a rapid pace you couldn’t think at all. All you knew was you wanted him to keep fucking you.
“H-harder. Need to feel you deeper.” You whined, hugging him close and your words only made the man before you go feral.
The snap of his hips shook your whole body with pleasure that only crescendoed your bliss further into euphoria. That tight knot within your tummy was reaching its limit. With how San was moaning and groaning against your neck, and how his fingers on your clit glided so easily with your slick was sending you over the edge.
You chanted his name over and over so breathlessly, your nails digging deeper into San’s back.
Snap!
Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as your walls clamped down around San, your thighs and hips convulsing uncontrollably as pleasure swooped through your body. You couldn’t help the way your nails clawed down his back which made the man before you moan brokenly as his hips stilled and glued against you.
Heat began to fill your walls and your womb as you came hard. San’s thigh muscles were taut as he emptied what he could into you. It was driving him crazy. Your walls were sucking him in a way where his cum just kept flowing til he had nothing more to give you.
“S-Sa—,” you didn’t have to finish calling out for him before he leaned forward to capture your lips. The kiss was slow and lingering…it was gentle and deep.
“I’ve got you,” he said briefly leaving the kiss to take a moment to straighten his back to look at you before him.
You were glowing. Your beautiful skin was covered with a thin sheen of sweat that made you glisten beneath the moonlight and your face was flushed. Your eyes looked up at him hazily, blinking prettily as you were still in your high. His eyes then drifted to where the two of you were still connected. Your puffy lips were split around his cock and you couldn’t help but look down there too.
Slowly, he slid himself out inch by inch. You whimpered at the loss of fullness but when you saw the pink cock head slip out and his length slam against his abdomen coated in your slick and pearly white release? Your walls clenched around nothing. With his thumb, he pulled one of your lower lips gently to get a good look at your pink pussy and his eyes darkened once more when he saw his cum leak out your pulsing hole.
San spread his release all over your pussy, his cat-like eyes curious and staring deeply at where he ‘marked’ you in his way.
“M-more.”
Did he imagine that?
“S-Sannie,” you spread your lips apart for him, making him swallow the lump in his throat. His eyes went to your face, his head spinning when you looked at him with such want and need. Could you look at him like that forever? “M-more. Need to feel you more.”
With San….you never had to ask him twice.
With the same passion and desire as he did earlier if not more, he was on you again. This time the two of you didn’t care about being gentle. You two were desperate for one another. Utterly desperate.
Then you found yourself locked against San with his arm around your waist, your back pressing against his body as he fucked deeply into you without thought. Your bodies were sticky as your shared heat kept you both hot, the cold forgotten as he pounded into you.
You moaned over and over for him, the sound a beautiful melody to his ears.
“I-I don’t think I can stop.” He rasped against your ear, slamming his pelvis against your ass filling your cunt up to the brim with his cock. “I don’t want to stop,” San growled while you cried as he slammed particularly deep, the new position making him reach that spongy spot inside you so fucking easily.
He’s gonna make love to you til you both are absolutely spent. Til he was empty and til you fell apart and had enough of him.
In that little walled-off prison you two were in, the two of you indulged in ways you both could never have during your time in the Academy. Boundaries they programmed into you were broken, lines were crossed and two beating hearts were fully awakened…and for the first time, truly, alive.
Then…when it was done…when that night passed and dawn broke. Those two hearts remained in each other’s arms, embracing one another as they feared for what the morrow would bring.
Not knowing that San would have to keep the promise he kept you.
“You deserve more than this life. You should be able to live freely and to love freely. Leave all this behind. Leave me behind.”
But he wasn’t going to leave you behind.
He could never.
Tumblr media
-- feel free to scream in my askbox!
TAGLIST : @endeav0rsb1tch @eastleighsblog @scarfac3 @deadgirlwalking3 @ddaeing @lexiigom @lesyeuxdeanna @ja3hwa @prettyjewel93 @dear-dreamie @ashrocker123 @kookibuns @i2hyun0 @kpopismyescape23 @alex-tinyy @hyukssunflower @honeypaintedskies @jinnieboosworld @dawn-iscozy @moonchildushine @asjkdk @voicesinmyhead-rc @not-everything-is-so-primitive @atinytinaa @songmingisthighs @sanniesbum @angellluh @teenyfinds @vannabanana1995 @huachengsbestie01 @lovinghologramtrash @anxiousskylar @megseungmin @chnt1 @dezmybelovedddd @khuyyn @trippoverrt @liniiiaa @caityelise99 @mismatchfluffysocks @venn-ie @unlikelysublimekryptonite @staytinyville @tinybada @awkward-fucking-thing @bloomingsann @cheesemonky @nakiiko @littlestarwoo @sharksandminhos
468 notes · View notes
theprettyarachnid · 2 years
Note
JJK characters from most to least likely to prefer a clingy s/o
a/n: how am i supposed to live laugh love after reading book 14 but anyway enjoy <3 <3 <3
please tell me i answered this question correctly
warnings: none
characters: itadori, megumi, inumaki, yuuta, gojo, suguru, nanami, sukuna
itadori
🕷 he's used to it by now but yuuji still blushes every time you kiss him or hug him
🕷 you guys have a silent competition of who can surprise the other the most by sneaking up behind the other and hugging them
🕷 yuuji's in the lead because he can be quite stealthy
🕷 always has the biggest smile on his face when he gets you because you always end up laughing and telling him to put you down so you can give him a proper hug
megumi
🕷 he already has trouble believing that most people want to even be around him so when he realized how clingy and affectionate you were, he was a little taken aback by it
🕷 he didn't intentionally do it but in the beginning he shrugged you off every now and then
🕷 when you started to back off because of that, he noticed it right away and asked
🕷 felt really bad about it and told you that he was sorry and he actually liked how affectionate you were
🕷 which wasn't a lie but megumi didn't realize that until you stopped
🕷 he always gets a little embarrassed and he much prefers when you're clingy in private than in front of nobara and itadori
inumaki
🕷 his love language is touch so he’s very happy when you reciprocate with the same energy
🕷 he gets shy when you hold his hand first though
🕷 you two are glued by the hip so whenever one of you are alone, everyone immediately asks where the other one is
🕷 both you and inumaki insist that gojo pairs you up during missions
🕷 inumaki turns into an absolute wreck when you’re sent on a mission alone because what if something happens to you and he isn’t there?
🕷 he would never forgive himself for that
🕷 loves showering with you and he definitely steals your body wash
yuuta
🕷 when he had a crush on you, he loved yet simultaneously hated it
🕷 yuuta loved how it gave him an excuse to be close to you but he always had a difficult time keeping his cool
🕷 but it doesn't matter now because you two are dating
🕷 he loves it just as much and he absolutely hates when he has to leave you because he can't stand the sad look on your face
🕷 he tries to not show how upset he is too because he knows it'll only make you sadder
🕷 when yuuta comes home, he brings you into a big hug before you drag him into your dorm so you can make up all the lost time for when he was away
gojo
🕷 teases you so much but he’s actually just as clingy, if not more
🕷 literally starts complaining if you haven’t given him any affection after an hour
🕷 satoru doesn’t sleep as well when he’s away because there’s an empty space in the bed
🕷 when he returns home, he doesn’t care what you’re doing he just carries you bridal style into your bedroom so you can cuddle and baby him
suguru
🕷 smiles fondly at you whenever you cling to his arm or hug him
🕷 suguru will be talking to his 'monkeys' and ignores them when you come up to him and wrap your arms around him
🕷 once someone interrupted you both and he hid your face in his chest and 86 them
🕷 if you dont know what that means, he pretty much killed them
🕷 it gives him quite the ego boost knowing how much you want to be with him
nanami
🕷 finds it very endearing
🕷 he may not reciprocate depending on the setting you are in but he doesn’t stop you
🕷 tends to just give you a quick kiss to the hand when you’re in public
🕷 once threatened to punch gojo in the face when he gave you guys kissy faces
🕷 nanami always gives you just as much attention when you’re home though
sukuna
🕷 “what the fuck are you doing?”
🕷 definitely shoved you off the first time you hugged him
🕷 in his defense, he probably has not experienced physical affection in the thousands of years he’s existed
🕷 and no meaningless sex does not count as physical affection
🕷 sukuna has gotten used to it but he still tells you that he finds it gross
🕷 once you actually pulled away since he told you how 'disgusted' he was by your clinginess but he yanked you back over to him
972 notes · View notes
whirlwindimagines · 1 year
Text
‘Now here we are, staring at the stars’
Luke Skywalker x Reader
a/n: Not requested! Lol not my usual stuff but Star Wars has a very special place in my heart, and how could I not write about my og baby girl Luke was the first fictional character I had a crush on lol if I'm writing for Luke I take a lot of his personality from legends because the books Luke??? HE SET THE BAR mister I love my scary wife anyway never get me started on Star Wars I know too much and love it too deeply to be normal. This can be read as platonic i just feel like someone should tell luke he's doing a good job Luke Skywalker x Reader 
Tumblr media
You never thought the universe could be so vast a silly thought now, you scoff the sound echoing into the night. How naive you used to be, back when all you knew was the desert and two suns. Now look at you, in this jungle listening to the sound of creatures you couldn’t even begin to name.
Footsteps approach, light but meaningful, and then a voice, “Can I join you?” Closing your eyes you smile, as if you could ever refuse him. Opening your eyes and patting the spot next to you in the grass, Luke joins your side laying down and resting his hands over his stomach.
“What are you doing? “His soft voice asks you as you let out a hum, “just existing I guess.” You reply, it’s so strange this peace that has settled over you after everything, all the fighting, you all won. You knew it wouldn’t be the end, lots of politics would come into play, but right now you could just enjoy the victory. 
Turning your head to look at him, your eyes soften, reaching out to place your hand over his. “How are you holding up?” It’s a stupid question, but with everything that has happened, you didn’t think Luke had time to just exist either. 
He doesn’t answer, but instead places his gloved hand over yours. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next, I mean I did what everyone wanted me to do, and now what.” He sounds lost and unsure, like back when the two of you were younger. 
“I think that’s okay though. I think if anyone deserved the time to figure things out it’s you.” You answer honestly, “And you don’t have to figure everything out alone ya know?” You continue smiling when he turns his head to look at you. 
“Thank you.” You let out a huff, turning your gaze back to the stars, you can still feel his eyes on you. “You don’t need to thank me; you did its Luke and you did it your way. We won, let’s just enjoy it for now.” Luke laughs, you’ve missed the sound, it's a little sadder somehow.
“I’m proud of you.” You whisper it into the night and hear the stuttering breath Luke takes, closing your eyes you sigh. “You’re the bravest person I know, don’t I know how you do it.” you really didn't, Luke was simply amazing, and that he chose to be kind and solve things his way, and that after everything he's still the kind farm boy used to know. 
“I think your pretty amazing too” his quiet voice replies, a bit shyly, and you can’t help but laugh not a cruel one just one of surprise. “Oh, now you're just being sweet. But I mean compared to you, I’ve kinda just been there while you guys did all the work” That wasn’t true, but to compared to your friends? And the amazing feats they’ve done for the rebellion, it feels like you pale in comparison.
Luke is quiet, you didn’t expect a reply so you close your eyes, “When I felt like my world was falling apart you kept me grounded, I don’t think I would still be here without” The words are spoken with such conviction that it makes you take in a stuttering breath. You don’t think anyone has ever said anything like that to you. It makes your eyes burn, but you don’t want to cry you’ve done enough of that now is a time to be happy. 
You are at a loss for words, how do you say reply to something like that? You turn on your side to face him, as Luke turns his head to look at your eyes curious. “Well, I hope that I can continue to be at your side in the future.” it's a little cheesy, but hey you think you’ve earned being cheesy and it makes Luke laugh so that’s another win in your book. 
“I would like that a lot,” Luke says quietly, and well you really enjoy the thought of that too. “Well, it's a good thing you are stuck with me then farm boy.” You tease, his eyes go a little wide at the tease, and you can't help the laugh you let out. Even after everything, he could still turn into that shy kid you knew back on Tatooine, he covers his face with his hands, but he laughs slightly. 
“No one has called me that in a while,” Luke admits quietly, why would they? He was Luke the Jedi, he was way more than some farm boy, you didn't mean the teasing nickname as something cruel, but as some sort of fond memory. “Good, that can just stay between us then.” You reply softly, turning back on your back to stare at the stars. You feel Luke grab your hand holding it tightly in his between the two of you. He doesn’t say anything and neither do you, yet you can sense everything that isn't said. It's just…a perfect moment and one you plan to cherish.
A/n: Happy May the Fourth be with you! If you’re reading this! I’m getting my wisdom teeth removed today 😭😭 wish me luck, i'm gonna have a Star Wars marathon when I got home and sleep.
85 notes · View notes
spiritofdragonfire · 1 year
Text
My thoughts on Transformers: Earthspark Episodes 11-18
Absolutely PHENOMENAL!!!
Truly outstanding!
So happy to see more of the new Terrans (aka the new precious cinnamon rolls of the Malto family) learning more about each of them
It was cool to see new characters such as Tarantulas, Breakdown, Shockwave, & Grimlock! Though I'm surprised we didn't see more of Optimus & Starscream in this new set of episodes.
Hashtag & Nightshade's new designs & alt modes are so cool & fit them perfectly! I thought Jawbreaker would finally find his alt mode by the end of season, but it looks like we'll have to wait until next time
Hashtag's GHOST surveillance van alt mode, ability to connect to the Internet, and love for cinema & technology is pretty neat & suits her character.
Nightshade's owl form suits them as they needed a form as interesting & unique as they are. Such a sweet little scientist! The bond they formed with Tarantulas was sweet! Hope Tarantulas was able to escape from GHOST & we see more of him in the future & he eventually reunites with Nightshade.
Jawbreaker is just downright precious & all his moments on screen are nothing short of adorable! Eager to see what alt mode he ultimately chooses for himself. He is the definition of a gentle giant!
So sweet to see Twitch, Thrash, & the Malto kids take on big sibling roles & look out for their new younger Terran siblings!
Dorthy continues being the best, most badass mom ever! Definitely one of my favorite human characters of any Transformers series!
Bumblebee being friends with Stunticon Breakdown was interesting. Seeing him sacrifice himself to GHOST so that Bumblebee could escape after both of them were exposed was so sad. Then Bumblebee was forced to leave in order to keep the Terrans & Malto family safe while being hunted down by GHOST which made this episode even sadder!
I like how they showed how the final battle that ended the war went down in the memorial episode. Megatron taking the Malto kids & young Terrans there to teach them about the history & help set them on the right path to a better, brighter future in that episode was so beautifully done!
Definitely loved that they elaborated on Megatron's redemption arc. So sweet that he said it was Dorthy that caused him to have a change of spark & join Optimus. Not only that, it was when she & her squadron were attacked by Decepticon seekers that Megatron proved he had truly changed by choosing an Earth alt mode to protect them (mainly her)!
I definitely want a flashback episode of when Megatron & Dorthy first met & how they became friends! I desperately need this episode to happen!!!
Special Agent Schloder & Executive Agent Croft being brother & sister was both both unexpected & interesting. I knew there was something off about her! He seems like a pretty decent guy who wants to do the right thing, while she is a conniving, shady bitch!
I knew Mandroid wasn't dead! No body, no confirmed kill! Should have known that he would end up conspiring with Croft to do more shady shit to Cybertronians! This is one dangerous pairing!
GHOST is even more shady than I initially thought! Torturing captive Decepticons & Croft allowing Mandroid to use them as his test subjects is downright despicable! Also, what is up with all the toxic GHOST boxes just being left in the woods to infect & mutate the wildlife seemingly at random & how were they able to make a device capable of erasing the memories of Cybertronians? (Also did the mutated bear remind anyone else of the Krang aliens from TMNT?)
Also did the part when Shockwave scanned Thrash to see his memories remind anyone else of when Transformers Prime Shockwave would use the cordical psychic patch to see into the memories of other Cybertronians?
Can't wait for more episodes! Can't get enough of this great show!
44 notes · View notes
billpottsismygf · 4 months
Text
The Church on Ruby Road (spoilers)
Oh my god! I absolutely loved that! Ncuti Gatwa is phenomenal. He's got so much presence right from the start, and there were some lovely little Doctor-ish quirks that he got across very nicely. I particularly liked his disdain for the Goblins' supposed time travel, him loving the name Lulubelle and the way he rattled off his police interview answers (though the bit about the proposal was perhaps a little too Sherlock). On a sadder note, his 'maybe I'm the bad luck' line was also delivered really well.
Ruby Sunday is pretty cool too, though I'm not quite as sold on her yet. Millie Gibson's performance felt just a trifle stilted to me, but I hope that goes away as she relaxes into the role. I loved her family, especially her gran. It's so nice to have a wider companion family like this again. We got it a bit with Yaz (and sort of Ryan and Graham), but I hope we get to see a bit more of this lot!
I wasn't sure what I was going to think of the Goblins, but I really like the alternative physics time travel thing they have going on with the language of luck. The Doctor's line about learning the vocabulary of rope was great; some real 'resonating concrete' vibes. But yes, the Goblins were fun and interesting. I don't know if they'll become anything particularly iconic, but not every villain needs to be.
The musical number was enormous fun. Obviously the first part was released ahead of time, but the Doctor and Ruby launching into a second part was unexpected and fantastic. Ncuti has a damn good voice. There have been questions about whether a musical episode of the show could work before, and I'm definitely here for it if there's ever a plan to give us more than just one song! Ruby's own ability to sing (improvisationally!) was also quite nicely set up with her being in a band.
Perhaps the best part of the episode was when Ruby was taken out of time. Her mum being a far more jaded and unhappy person, with even the lighting getting dimmer, was incredibly effective. Her declaring she was happy alone with tears in her eyes, the Doctor also crying, really got me. Ncuti's performance throughout that as well gave me a lot of faith in what's to come (not that I needed any, given what I've seen of him in Sex Education). (That 'then why are you crying' also had more than a hint of Amy crying for Rory.)
I have to mention the timeless child stuff. As with what he did with the flux in Wild Blue Yonder, I'm over the moon that RTD is taking things from the last era and actually doing stuff with it. I know there will be people angry about it because they expected him to retcon the whole thing, but I far prefer this approach. Granted, I never minded the timeless child stuff that much (unlike the flux), but it was really effective having the Doctor actually bring up the fact that he doesn't know where he's from. I wonder if RTD is planning to do anything more with it, or if it will just be used as character and relationship building material.
Smaller stuff:
We got another mavity mention, so is this just here to stay or is it part of a longer arc?
The way the gloves work didn't make sense to me. The way the Doctor explained them was as if the weight just shifted to the glove (which makes sense for making balancing and gripping easier), but if that's the case where does the extra weight come from when pulling the rope down? Oh well, I'll just imagine they're magic weight deletion/creation devices and move on with my life.
That spike through the Goblin King at the end was brutal! I'm surprised they were allowed to show it. No blood or anything, I suppose, but still!
Ruby's mother (we presume) was somehow still walking away after the Doctor's whole escapade with the Goblins. Bad directing (I might have bought it if she were much further away on a long road) or an indication of more at play? Either way, presumably this isn't the last of that plot thread!
What the hell is going on with Mrs Flood? When she was watching the Doctor towards the end, I thought it was pretty strange, and then in the mid-credits sequence I started to wonder if she was something more than she seemed. Then came the look to camera and her line about TARDISes… Technically, this could be a weird little moment a la Feast of Steven, but it seems more likely something else is at play. The Toymaker could bend the rules of reality, so perhaps she could be part of the legions he mentioned, able to break the fourth wall at will. We shall see, I suppose!
17 notes · View notes
havenoffandoms · 3 years
Note
Hey congrats on 900 followers! Would I be able to request the touch starved prompt from your list with the pairing Aiden/Lambert please? Love all your writing!
Hello!! Thanks for requesting this prompt and this pairing! I’ve been on a right Lambden kick recently, so I felt inspired. I hope you like it! 
Prompt 13: Touch-Starved
Pairing: Aiden x Lambert
Warnings: None
Prompt List
Lambert was apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together. Being stabbed to death in his sleep comes to mind, or having Aiden go all batshit crazy if Lambert dared to beat him at Gwent. Lambert has heard many rumours about Cat witchers in his long life. Cats are batshit crazy. Cats are emotionally volatile. Cats are backstabbing sons of bitches… literally and metaphorically. Cats are bad. Cats are evil, etc, etc. All these rumours circulated in Kaer Morhen long before Lambert even set foot in that ramshackle castle. He was too young to have witnessed the Tournament, but he heard the older witchers talk. Later in his life, when only a handful of wolf witchers were left after the sacking, Eskel gave Lambert a more detailed account of the Tournament.
“The Cats betrayed us, went on a rampage. Killed many wolf witchers in the process. Geralt and I lost many friends that day,” Eskel told him one evening, when the oldest surviving wolf was too far in his cup to notice that he was oversharing. “Radowit’s court mage Astrogarus promised the Cats monopoly on killing monsters within Kaedwen in exchange for attacking the Wolves during the tournament. Turns out Radowit was a backstabbing motherfucker himself. He ordered his soldiers to shoot all of the remaining witchers of both schools in the arena.”
“Lemme guess,” Lambert spoke, his own speech slightly slurred, “pretty boy saved the day?” 
Eskel shook his head. “Fled. Mousesack helped him escape the massacre. Poor bastard never forgave himself for abandonin’ our brothers, but what choice did he have?”
Don’t get Lambert wrong. He’s not saying that Aiden is harmless, far from it. The guy’s lethal with his swords, deadly with a pair of daggers, not to mention a stealthy and clever thief. Aiden is mercurial, hot-tempered and a bit feral when he wants to be, and his morals are at best dubious. Whereas wolf witchers had their emotions beaten out of them at a young age, cat witchers feel too much, too strongly. Lambert’s witnessed Aiden flip tables when peasants beat him at Gwent, but he’s also witnessed the Cat shed a tear after bringing the news to a mother that her son did not survive the ghoul attack two villages down the road. 
Lambert was apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together, but the Cat had never ceased to surprise him. The most unexpected trait Aiden has displayed to date is his insatiable need for physical contact. It’s not like Lambert hates being touched - he’s only human, albeit a mutated one, but still human. He enjoys a hug as much as the next person, especially when said hug comes from one of his brothers (or, dare he say, Vesemir) at the end of a long and difficult year on the Path. Lambert has also never begrudged a bed partner a post-coital cuddle session. Aiden’s need for physical contact is… on a whole different level. 
The first time it happened, Lambert almost shoved the Cat off him and sent him packing, until he realised that Aiden was not only hugging him, but clinging onto him. His sharp nails were digging in the soft material of Lambert’s shirt, the fabric creaking in protest under the firm grip. When Lambert looked down, he noticed the pinched eyebrows and tears trailing down Aiden’s face. It wasn’t until a broken sob pushed past the Cat’s lips that Lambert reluctantly returned the embrace, arms wound tightly around Aiden’s trembling body. Aiden eventually settled in the safety of Lambert’s arms, his features softening as he sank back into a peaceful slumber. 
Neither mentioned the previous evening’s impromptu cuddling session, but from that moment one, it was like someone had flicked a switch. Aiden came up with every possible fucking excuse to touch Lambert. Their hands would always accidentally graze each other when they packed up camp, or tacked up the horses. Aiden would bump shoulders with him when they were travelling on foot. If they sat next to one another in a tavern, Aiden would press his leg against Lambert’s, and if they were facing each other, a tentative foot would gently nudge Lambert’s shin and linger there. It’s not like Aiden was trying to hide his intentions, either. They rarely paid for two rooms anymore, because even if they did, Aiden would always end up in Lambert’s bed anyway, arms wound around Lambert’s body like a koala clinging to its mother.
Lambert doesn’t hate Aiden’s need for physical proximity, he’s just… confused by it. Aiden rarely takes any lovers to bed, even though he clearly craves physical intimacy. Lambert is more than happy to cuddle with Aiden, especially when they are forced to sleep under the stars and the early autumn frosts begin to settle over the region. It saves them from lighting a campfire, which may attract the wrong kind of attention to them. That’s all that’s ever transpired between the two, though… cuddling. Lambert enjoys the cuddling as much as Aiden does, but for Aiden it seems to be about more than mere enjoyment. The Cat simply refuses to go without physical intimacy which at times can be… alright, it can feel overbearing, but Lambert’s not about to complain, not when most humans turn away from him in disgust and contempt when he tries to chat them up. 
Over the course of the next few weeks, Aiden almost develops a form of separation anxiety. He refuses to let Lambert out of his sight, going so far as to follow the man everywhere, and that’s the moment when Lambert snaps. 
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he asks, his tone hiding none of the irritation he feels at being tailed by this overgrown tomcat. Aiden stops dead in his tracks, his eyes growing wide at Lambert’s words. 
“Huh?” 
“You’ve been following me since this morning… I have errands to run and it’s hard to do that when you’re breathing down my neck!”
Lambert instantly regrets his words the minute they leave his mouth. Aiden’s shoulders visibly sag at Lambert’s comment, his content expression melting into something sadder and the sight tugs at the wolf’s heartstrings in all the wrong ways. Aiden averts Lambert’s eyes shyly, the tip of his ears turning a pretty shade of pink as embarrassment washes over him. Lambert heaves a sigh. Way to act like a fucking dick. 
“Sorry, Aiden. I… I didn’t mean to sound like an ass, but-”
“It’s alright, I… I knew this moment would come eventually.”
“What are you talking about?” Lambert asks, a confused frown etched on his face. Aiden doesn’t look at him when he replies in a voice far too small to belong to the lethal, cocky witcher Lambert has come to know over the past few months. 
“You’re gonna ask me to leave for good. I get it. I… I’ll go back to the room and pack my things.” 
As Aiden turns around to leave, Lambert’s hand shoots out and grabs a hold of Aiden’s wrist. Before Lambert’s brain has a chance to catch up, he finds himself pulling Aiden into a nearby alley, away from prying eyes of judgemental humans meandering the stalls of the midweek market. Aiden looks so unsure now, so vulnerable like this, and it makes Lambert want to wrap the Cat up in warm blankets and cuddle him and forget the world for a while. Instead, he settles on pressing Aiden’s back against the wall and draping himself around the Cat witcher as much as he can. 
“That’s not what I meant,” Lambert breathes in the air pocket between them as he locks eyes with Aiden, “you’ve just been… especially clingy recently. Are you sure you’re alright?”
Aiden averts his eyes once again, but Lambert is quick to grip the other man’s chin and force Aiden to meet his gaze. Even that simple touch pulls a small hiss from Aiden, whose eyes flutter shut as he relishes in the feeling of Lambert touching him anywhere. Lambert purses his lips, eager for an answer. 
“Aiden-”
“Winter is around the corner,” Aiden whispers, his tongue darting out to lick his suddenly dry lips. Lambert’s frown deepens. 
“And?”
His question is met with a pointed eye roll from Aiden. 
“And… wolves return to their dens for winter, don’t they? I was just… enjoying the last few weeks in your company before you leave and never come back.”
As the final piece of the puzzle slots into place, understanding dawns on Lambert. He pulls away from Aiden and the small whimper the loss of contact triggers does not go unnoticed. Something old and fragile aches in Lambert’s chest as the meaning of Aiden’s words sink in. Aiden isn’t just worried about being separated from Lambert for a few months, but he’s worried that Lambert will never come back.The wolf links his fingers with his Cat’s, squeezing softly as he leans into Aiden’s space and rubs his bearded cheek against Aiden’s jawline. The latter quickly melts under the soft ministrations, the soft content rumble deepening into a continuous purr as Lambert nuzzles the crook of Aiden’s neck. 
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” 
“Yeah, right,” Aiden snorts in response, “cause you’re so good with feelings and shit.”
“Not everyone’s a sappy sentimental bitch like you are,” Lambert teases gently, earning himself a half-hearted slap up the back of the head. “I don’t have to go back to Kaer Morhen this winter.”
Aiden tenses, his soft purring stopping abruptly as he takes in Lambert’s words. Lambert continues to rub his cheek against Aiden’s jaw, his neck, his cheek… wherever he can reach, the action meant to soothe the brewing storm in Aiden’s mind.
“It’s your home,” Aiden offers weakly, “I don’t want… I… it’s your home.” 
“I can send a letter to the old man. Let him know I’m alive. We could find a den somewhere else… an attic somewhere, or an abandoned castle.” Lambert nuzzles the spot right behind Aiden’s ear, earning a pleased hum from the Cat. “Or you could come with me.”
“Sure. Cause that’s gonna end well…” 
“That’s settled then. I’m spending winter with you.”
Aiden pushes Lambert away, their eyes meeting once again but this time, Aiden searches for any trace of a lie in Lambert’s amber gaze. He finds none, because Lambert is one hundred percent honest in his offer. He would ditch Vesemir, Geralt and Eskel for a year to spend it with Aiden… and the thought should scare him more than it does, truthfully. He’s only known the Cat for a few months, and yet… well, maybe Lambert was dreading the winter as well. How about that? It’s not like he felt equally anxious about leaving Aiden, it’s just… fuck off. 
“You mean that?” 
“Mhm. Fair warning… I hate the cold. If I’m spending the winter with you, you’ll have to find a way to keep me warm or I will bite your head off.” 
In Aiden’s defence, he does keep Lambert warm all winter long. Their cuddling finally turns into something more, and from the moment Lambert and Aiden cross that fateful line there is no going back. Aiden becomes insatiable, always seeking Lambert’s body in some shape or form, never letting the wolf out of his sight again.  Lambert may have been apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together, but it turns out that all his worries were for nothing. Turns out Cat witchers are still crazy, and feral, and mercurial… a tad possessive as well, something Lambert doesn’t hate... but they’re also the cuddliest sons of bitches on the Continent. 
Lambert can live with that, he thinks. 
Request a prompt.
249 notes · View notes
breadqueen95 · 2 years
Note
HEY BESTIE!!! CONGRATS ON 500 FOLLOWERS!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOU AND HAPPY THAT YOUR WRITING IS GETTING THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES!
I have a headcanon request if you would please humor me. I am submerging myself in the Christmas vibes, so my first thought when you announced the headcanon requests was, “what does Bucky do for Christmas? Does he have traditions that he shared with his family and Steve back before the war? Does he start new ones with the reader? Does the reader share some of theirs with him?”
I think maybe a little bit of all three. And you know how I feel about the endgame ending, i.e. that it’s $h!t so I was hoping you would pretty please incorporate their traditions with Steve and Sam and Natasha and the rest of the avengers because they are a family and ANYONE WHO SEPARATES THEM IS A MONSTER!
Congrats again, and I love you, babe! 💜💜💜
AHHHHH OMGOMGOMGOMG HI BESTIE I'M SO HAPPY YOU SUBMITTED SOMETHING!!!!! and thank you!!! i'm almost there, just a few more followers and honestly that's insane to me
alright i hope you're ready for christmas bucky HERE WE GO
wc: 1.1k (lol)
bucky barnes x fem!reader
Tumblr media
bucky had...mixed feelings about the holiday season
it's not that he doesn't like christmas, he just has no idea how to feel about it
he lost his parents so young, and trying to make things special for becca was a lot of pressure for a kid with no money
plus trying to keep steve healthy and out of fights, bucky just saw christmas as something else adding to his stress
one thing he remembers from those times that he enjoyed was bundling stevie and becca up as much as he could, then the three of them walking around the city looking at the lights
it was something they could all do together that didn't cost money, and moving their bodies meant warmth
sometimes they even snuck into a warm building under the guise of "shopping" (they couldn't afford shit let's be honest) but it was warm at least
so now that he's living at the compound with everyone, that familiar holiday pressure comes up a lot this time of year. he definitely didn't miss it, that's for sure
everyone starts getting a little more relaxed, a little more festive
so it's just another way he feels like he sticks out; everyone gets happier, he gets sadder
now that he remembers, and he remembers everything, christmas only serves as a reminder of everyone and everything he's lost
it's a little bit easier this year, though
because this year he has you
you're like his anchor; you make him feel human, like he has something to live for
he finds he wants to tell you things he did with his family as a kid
he talks about the lights, and how much they mean to him
so you plan out two different nights during december: one for family, one for just the two of you
you and the team set aside one night as a surprise for bucky, and all of you spend the evening decorating the entire compound
we're talking lights EVERYWHERE
tony and sam happily take the task of getting lights set up outside, much to wanda's panic (she's convinced they're going to get themselves killed the idiots)
steve, who really should've looked into taking up musical theater, breaks out into christmas carols anywhere and everywhere
bucky's still quiet, not nearly the loudmouth charmer he used to be, but you catch him quietly enjoying himself
you'll glance over at him to see him looking around the room at all the people he gets to call his family, blue eyes wide and cheeks flushed with happiness as he grins to himself
almost like he can't quite believe how he got here
it's that night tony introduces him to the concept of MISTLETOE
an excuse to kiss his girl? anywhere and everywhere he wants? SIGN HIM TF UP ARE YOU SERIOUS
he tries it out, and when you blush and giggle as he kisses your face all over, he just KNOWS he has to do it again
so now he brings a sprig everywhere with him, just in case the mood is right
"bucky...you know you don't need an excuse to kiss me, right?
"i'm getting in the spirit shut up"
that starts to make christmas seem like something he could enjoy
steve takes you aside that night, looking at you like you hung the moon
"thanks for giving me my best friend back"
yeah okay fine steve i'll JUST CRY NOW
you and the others slowly introduce your favorite christmas traditions throughout the next few weeks, now that he's warmed up to the holidays a little more
wanda and sam *try* to bake with him, but bucky just ends up eating everything before it even gets to the oven
so they just make him the taste tester (which makes him feel like a little kid but in the best way)
tony hosts a cookie decorating competition, which of COURSE just makes everyone needlessly competitive
like PLS CAN I JUST HAVE PEACE HELLO
but it ends up being SO FUN
sprinkles everywhere. icing everywhere. it's a huge mess and natasha is crying on the inside because she just knows she'll have to be the one to clean it up
somehow you end up with icing on your cheek, which bucky kisses off so you don't mind that much
he's absolutely precious and i can't handle it
steve introduces bucky to all his favorite christmas movies that he's discovered since "desfrosting" as he calls it
picture steve as a lean cuisine with me. do it. it's fun
bucky's decided that his favorite is how the grinch stole christmas with jim carrey
the grouchiness about the holidays? the sarcasm? yeah he can relate
he always cries at the end though DON'T TELL ANYONE
you and bucky create one of your favorite traditions that first year. you listen to old christmas carols that he knows from when he was young, and you listen to some close to your own heart
and during the first snow of the season, you and bucky dance in the snow together to those songs
LET ME BE SOFT OKAY
and then...you take him to the city, just the two of you
hand in hand, you and bucky walk around brooklyn in endless circles, looking at the lights and decorations at every corner
he's taken you to his old haunts before, but now he treads the familiar paths he used to walk with steve and becca on those cold nights, and he still isn't alone
it means a lot to him, that you'd do this for him
bucky can't keep himself from getting emotional. he misses his sister. he misses how uncomplicated life seemed back then
but he can't bring himself to regret surviving it all, not like he used to, and he tells you as much
"i'm so happy i have you, sweetheart."
"me too, buck. me too."
eventually you end up in midtown, bucky having never seen the giant christmas tree or the other touristy things
"that's a big fucking tree. like probably too big"
he can't get over it. even as the two of you ice skate right next to it, his eyes keep flitting over to it as he mutters
"jesus fucking christ it's too big"
even so, he had a blast that night
you swear, he's never laughed as much as he does that night
he's never been able to just let go this time of year. everything was always stress, too many expectations on him
now that he's allowed to have fun? goddamn he's having a BLAST
he wraps you up in his arms, leans his forehead against yours, and kisses you soundly. right there in rockefeller center
even when bucky pulls away, he keeps his forehead against yours
"thank you"
"i love you, bucky"
"i love you too, baby"
*********************
no tag list for hcs from now on bc i don't want to sorry pals. but i hope you enjoyed this!!!
63 notes · View notes
ladyyatexel · 2 years
Text
Strange Shapes Snippets Volume 2
Here is more of my incredibly long Malik/Ryou problem!
Today's Adventure: having long distance feelings with Monster World
Upon confirmation that Malik both has and can use video capabilities, they struggle through an hour or more of configuring and compatibility issues before the first connection works.   The image of Ryou moving on screen sets off a spark of much wanted reunion and reignites whatever it was that made Malik put an ancient artifact into a bag destined for airport security.  It’s the first time he’s seen Ryou’s face since they were separated. 
Ryou is pretty even when lagging and pixelated.  His clothes look too big and his hair kind of flips at the ends and the light from his monitor gives him a glow like the moon against his vaguely defined apartment.    
“Sorry about the mess.  I’m still finishing a project.” 
Malik is not looking at the mess.  
“What is it?” 
“Oh, it’s kind of a redesign of a game world I made before.”
“Can I see?” 
“Um, we can try.  Can you even see me?” 
“Yeah.” And he’s so happy to see Ryou at all and looking real and he’s adorable and beautiful and weird and makes sense all at the same time and Malik still does not see a mess.   “It’s a little bit choppy, but it’s okay.” 
“Okay, hang on.”  
Ryou gets close to the screen and then the image gets patchy, flashing in and out of dark as Ryou unhooks his camera from whatever he has it balanced on.  When things stabilize again, it’s difficult to tell what the camera is pointing at or even from what direction. 
“Hello?” Malik tries. 
“Still here, can you see?”  The image is a little unstable but when it focuses it does so on a tiny village in the middle of getting a new paint job.  
“Oh, yeah, there it is.”  
“I’ve just been making some small changes right now.  Colors, mostly, but I might change the setting a little, too.  I played a game with Yuugi and the others with this, and it was really special to me, but I just have to change some things about it now.” 
“Why?”
At first, Malik thinks the connection has frozen, but then Ryou moves the camera view to include himself next to his fantasy world.  The scale is surprising.   
“Sorry, I think I’m just used to hesitating when I talk to people about this.  But I don’t need to do that with you.”  His tone shifts from polite apology to casual confiding. The glow that accompanies Ryou smiling even through unpleasant memories might just be a lighting problem with his camera.  The warmth of being some kind of special exception is definitely from the camera.  Definitely.
“You remember I told you about my hand?”  Ryou holds up his left hand as he talks.  “The spirit in the Ring used my diorama to do it. Something I made for fun. You see the castle?”  
The image swings from Ryou and shakily centers on a grey building painted to resemble stone.  The tops of all its towers come to points, except what should be the largest one, which is missing.  
Ryou continues, his voice sadder than Malik remembers. “He used the top of the tower.  It went the whole way through.”  Ryou puts his hand into frame palm up and lowers his arm, simulating the impalement.  His face is off screen, but with the camera pulled toward him his voice is louder, clearer, closer, realer, like he’s right there.   “I tried to clean it and put it back to the way it was afterwards, but the force and the blood… It was ruined.  I’ve needed to make a new one since then.  Now that everything is over I actually have the chance.” 
Malik curls his fingers against his palm imagining the force of the injury.  In various places around the world, people are living with similar damage that is directly Malik’s fault.  His fingers curl tighter, pressing fingernails into his palm.
“Is your hand okay?”  It’s too small a question for the size of the event.  He didn’t give the injury the weight and consideration it was due while Ryou was in Egypt. It’s another pang of guilt, even though, at the time,  he’d fully expected to deliver his apology and then be asked to never speak to Ryou again. Now, he’s finding himself aching to offer comfort he doesn’t know how to provide for an injury that healed long before he met its owner.
The tiny figures are, unsurprisingly, cute.  Even through the awkward lighting of the camera, they look like Ryou’s friends, especially Yuugi, who has to have been a particularly custom-heavy job. 
“I love making these.  I still have a lot from before… so it’s nice to be able to make new ones.”  
“You just use them like tokens?”
“Not like you’re thinking.  They just represent where and who you are in the world.” 
Malik laughs.  “I could use one of those.”
Either missing Malik’s existential joke entirely or choosing to ignore it, Ryou leans enthusiastically toward the camera.  “We should play!  I can make a miniature for you too!” 
"I've never played that kind of game before."
"It's fun!" He glances at the little figure in his hand. "And, you know, a bit of an escape."
“Still escaping, huh?” 
Ryou’s gaze on the miniature softens into tenderness Malik feels he shouldn’t be seeing.  “Always, I think.” 
Perhaps fueled by the feeling that he shouldn’t, he just wants to look.  Whatever Ryou is feeling is pretty and real and makes Malik ache and just seeing it will be better than hearing the rules of another kind of game, no matter how fun.  
“You should teach me, then.”  He says it quietly, maybe reluctantly.  
Instead of vanishing, the soft expression turns toward Malik.  “Really!?”
“Yeah,” he replies weakly.  
Ryou’s glow for this topic is enchanting. Tenderness is replaced with the camera shaking with his enthusiasm, but it’s just as wonderful.  “Let me get you some materials, we can see what kind of character you’ll be!” 
He’s grateful they aren’t playing Duel Monsters, but if anyone could make Malik feel like going near it again, it would be Ryou.
☆☆☆
Ryou holds the figure close to the camera.  At first it’s too close and he has to pull back.  “Here we go.   What do you think?” 
The tiny sculpture even has an extra swish of dark paint under its eyes and over its cheeks.  It’s simple but touching to look at something made for him (and of him).  
“It’s great.  I like his eyes.” 
“That’s my favorite part too.” 
The pause as Ryou smiles at the screen wraps itself around Malik’s lungs and for a very warm breathless second he could swear Ryou is not talking about the figure. 
Ryou reaches off screen and the moment vanishes only to be replaced by one just as warm.  
“Here,” Ryou says, putting a white figure with a hood next to the tiny fantasy version of Malik.  “Now they can go together.”  
The white figure has Ryou’s eyes and his hair and is a healer.  
"That suits you."
☆☆☆
24 notes · View notes
watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
Text
Flatmates - Harry Styles
i listened to kiwi while writing it so i strongly advise to listen to is while reading as well. without any further ado, i present you this flatmate!harry fic with some steamy smut!
word count: ~9k
warning: smut
masterlist
Tumblr media
You were desperate to find a place to live, to say the least. You’ve always had trouble remembering deadlines and important dates, and thanks to this charming trait of yours, you successfully missed the deadline of the college dormitory applications. After a day of solid panic you started looking for cheap apartments, but living off campus seemed to be something only rich people could afford. Rents were ridiculously high and you were certain you couldn’t afford to spend thousands of dollars for a room smaller than your pantry back at home. You watched ad after ad, making calls all day for a week straight, but at the end, you always went to bed with the thought that you’ll have to live under a bridge through the first semester of your freshman year.
It was until a friend of yours, Rita, who was mature enough to apply to the dormitory in time called you with the best news you could receive.
“This friend of my future roomie is looking for a flat mate. You gave me his number, maybe you could give him a call and see if the room is still available. Just tell him Kimberly gave you his number, I’m sure he’ll offer you the room on a nicer price.”
“Oh my God, you just saved my life!” you gasped, almost feeling like crying. “I owe you big time, Rita!”
You called right away, not wanting to waste any time and maybe have the room already rented by then. A deep, male voice answered the call in a soothing British accent.
“Harry Styles,” he said in a calm tone.
“Hey! My name is Y/N and I got your number from Kimberly. I’m looking for a place to live from September and I was told you have a room to rent?”
Harry sounded a little hesitant at first, asked a few questions about you to have a better picture of you, but eventually offered the room. You quickly agreed that you’d be able to move in at the end of August. You were thankful you had one less worry about school finally.
August rolled around the corner faster than you expected and in no time, half your life was packed up into boxes and suitcases as you and your dad drove two hours on a Saturday to get you all settled in your new home. Up until this point, you hadn’t seen Harry just yet. Though you did search up his name, but he was the kind to never post about himself, but mostly about guitars, landscapes and animals. His Instagram was dry, no trait of what he looked like or even the slightest hint about himself. There was only one photo that featured the outline of a guy, which makes it clear that the person was fully naked, no trace of any clothes hanging on his body, but it was completely dark, so nothing could be really seen. However the tag on the figure made you think it wasn’t him, so it didn’t matter. His Facebook seemed even sadder, barely any posts, not even a decent profile picture. You were surprised to see there are people who don’t really use social media, but you didn’t take it as a bad sign. Harry must be a private person and you had nothing against that.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea to move in with a guy you’ve never met before?” your dad asks as the two of you are unloading the car in front of the apartment complex. Glancing up you shrug your shoulders with a little excitement, knowing that you are only minutes away from finally seeing the person you are gonna spend your next months living with.
“He sounded like a decent person, and I really don’t have any other choice, dad. Or do you want me to sleep in a park or something?”
“God, no. You really should be more careful about those deadlines next time,” he sighs kissing the top of your head before shutting the back of the car once everything is set on the ground.
“Don’t worry, I already bought a calendar so I can keep better track of everything.”
When you first told your parents that you’d be living with Harry, they didn’t seem to be a fan of the idea, but they realized you weren’t really swimming in options at the moment so they eventually come to peace that their daughter is going to be living with a guy. They didn’t make a big deal out of it, knowing well you were an adult now practically who can make choices for herself.
The two of you manage to bring everything up to the third floor and you ring the doorbell since you don’t have your keys yet. You immediately recognize Harry’s British accent as he calls out a “coming!” from the other side of the door and a few seconds later it opens, revealing him.
Your first thought is that he is tall. Very tall and oh my! How handsome! His green eyes find your gaze and his dimples come out as he smiles at you happily. This man is surely a nice sight, you think to yourself, but you quickly bring yourself back to reality as he takes a look at all the stuff surrounding you.
“Y/N, why didn’t you call me that you were here? I could have helped you!” Taking a step outside he stretches his hand out for your dad. “Nice to meet ya, you must be Mr. Y/L/N. I’m Harry.”
“Nice to meet you,” your dad nods at him shaking his head before Harry grabs a box from the floor himself, holding the door open for you.
“Come on in!”
The three of you quickly bring everything inside from the hallway and you finally have a moment to look around. It’s not a big apartment, but seemingly perfect for two people. Walking in you have a small kitchen on the left and a little dining area on the right with a simple table and four chairs around it. Further inside is the living room, it’s nicely furnished very bright thanks to the large windows across the front door. On the left there’s a door that leads to the bathroom and on the right there’s a small hallway, two doors on each side. The two rooms are exactly the same size, so there was no need to have a discussion about who is getting which room. Not that you were gonna go against Harry when he literally saved your life with letting you stay with him.
The place seems tidy and neat, it’s clear that Harry takes good care of his home and that is for sure a relief.
Your room has a double bed, a desk with a chair, a dresser and a built in little closet. Everything is white or a light beige color, nothing extreme and you already have plans about how you want to decorate it to make it cozier.
“I left two shelves free for you out of the three. I have a few hair products, but I figured you’d need more space,” Harry tells you when you put a smaller box into the bathroom that has all your toiletries.
“Thank you, I appreciate it,” you smile at him.
Your dad sticks around a little longer helping you unpack some of the bigger boxes, then you walk him down to his car before he leaves.
“Please call your mother often. You know how much she worries about you,” he asks as he pulls you into a quick hug.
“Will do.”
“And call us anytime you need help. Two hours is not that far away, I can always come and get you.”
“I’ll be alright, dad, but thank you.”
You watch him climb into the car and he rolls down the windows waving in your way as he leaves from the parking lot. You stand there until he disappears on the corner and then go back up to your apartment.
Harry is sitting in the living room when you get back, some quiet music playing from the Bluetooth speaker as he reads a book. He glances up at you and you flash him a smile closing the door behind you.
“Your dad seemed quite okay with you living with a guy.”
“He had time to get used to it. They’re not that strict though.”
“That’s cool. I was thinking, maybe we could order some food when you’re done unpacking and just get to know each other a little more.”
“That sounds great!” you smile, but can’t ignore how fast your heart is beating in your chest. Harry surely has an effect on you that you’ll need to gain control over if you don’t want to make living together hard for yourself.
It takes quite some time to unpack everything and find the right place for your stuff, you don’t even finish by the time the food arrives so you decide to leave the rest for tomorrow.
The Chinese food is all set on the table when you walk out and Harry is getting two plates for the two of you.
“Settled in?” he asks as you take one of the chairs and he sits across you.
“Not fully, but I’m getting there,” you chuckle as he hands you your order. “Thank you.”
You talk over the food, just getting to know each other and you finally get a better picture of Harry. It’s his third year of college, he is studying music and pedagogy, intending to one day use music as a helping tool for kids who have learning difficulties. He is a big fan of collecting vinyls and quite passionate about trashy rom coms.
“Really?” you chuckle when he mentions how his Netflix queue is filled with romantic movies.
“Guilty pleasure,” he nods smirking.
You tell a little about yourself too and he seems genuinely interested, which feels nice. You would have hated if he found your interests boring and negligible, but that’s not the case.
“How come you couldn’t find a roommate for so long?” you ask the question that’s been in the back of your mind for quite a while now. Both of you are done eating and you’re cleaning up the table.
Nothing really stood out about Harry just yet, it’s quite a mystery for you why he couldn’t find someone to live with him.
“Well, you could say I’m a little picky in this field. Lived with my best mate first year, and though I absolutely love him, he was horrible to live with. Felt like his personal maid the whole time. When Niall moved in with his girlfriend and I had to move on my own I promised myself I would choose carefully. Lived with a PhD student last year, he was pretty great, but he moved out when he graduated, and I couldn’t really find someone I liked since then.”
“Glad I passed then,” you chuckle as you take the dishes and start washing them while Harry stands next to you, leaning against the edge of the counter.
“You seemed like a decent person to live with, I hope I won’t be wrong about that,” he chuckles, but you can tell he is still a little scared you might turn out to be a total asshole.
“Don’t worry, I won’t be too much trouble. I’m quiet like a mouse and clean up after myself.”
“That’s all that matters,” he smiles. “Alright, I have some things to finish, I’ll be in my room if you need help with anything.”
“Thank you, Harry.”
He waves in your way before disappearing in his bedroom.
You spend most of your Sunday unpacking what was left and running errands, buying groceries so you don’t have to go to the store every other day during the week. You occasionally meet Harry in the kitchen or the living room, but you both just do your own thing and it’s totally fine by you.
School starts quiet smoothly, Harry was kind enough to give you a rundown of where you’ll find your lecture halls so you don’t really get lost around campus, easily finding your way.
Friday afternoon you and Rita are sitting at a café near campus to discuss the first week of school. You don’t have any classes together, so only grabbed lunch two times all week, but didn’t have more than twenty minutes together before one of you had to run to a class. Now you are both comfortably sat in a booth with two cappuccinos and plenty of time to talk.
“So, how is living with Harry?” she curiously asks.
“He is great! Though we don’t meet that much. He has a band so he has practice three times a week, spends the rest of his time at home reading or watching TV.”
You ate dinner together twice this week, but you haven’t really had the courage to join him in the living room when he was watching TV. It sounds stupid but you figured maybe it would bother him if you were out there with him. And since he didn’t invite you either, you just stayed in your room mostly.
“Kimberly told me he is hot, is that true?” she asks with a smirk as she takes a sip from her hot drink. You immediately feel your cheeks heating up.
“Well, he surely is a good looking guy,” you breathe out.
“Lucky you! There’s not much of those in an all girls dorm,” she pouts and you chuckle. “So are you gonna make a move on him?”
“That’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head laughing.
“Why not?”
“Because we live together and if he rejects me that would be so awkward for the rest of our time living together.”
“But you can’t know for sure if he would reject,” she points out, but she can’t bring up one thing that would change your mind.
“It’s better not to take the odds. I don’t want to end up on the street.”
 As the days go by, things start to get busier in your everydays. Assignments and papers start to pile up so you have to start working on them if you don’t want to leave everything to the last moment. You become a regular in the library, the atmosphere is great for you to get into the flow and get a lot of work done.
It seems like Harry is in the same shoe, he is often in and out of the apartment, sometimes only spends home just a couple of minutes before he leaves again. However they slowly get accustomed to each other, learn the ways the other likes things and work up a schedule for things. Harry learns that Y/N likes to take a shower twice a day and washes her hair usually on Wednesdays and Sundays, so he doesn’t try to take too much time in the bathroom on those days. He also notices how she doesn’t have time to wash the dishes after herself on Thursdays when she just runs home to have a quick bite before she has to leave for another lecture, so they came to a silent agreement where Harry cleans up after her on Thursdays while she takes up on the dishes on Saturday when Harry leaves to band practice at eight.
They work well together and soon enough all of Harry’s doubts about Y/N fade into nothing and he realizes he has made the right choice with her.
Usually she stays at the library until seven on Mondays, but this week they are closing early because they are rearranging a whole department, so Y/N leaves a little after five. She pays a quick trip to the grocery store before she heads home. Opening up the door she immediately hears the music playing, one of Harry’s vinyls is twirling around in the record player and she hears the water running in the bathroom. Setting her bags on the counter she starts unpacking the groceries.
The music and the running water pushed the sound of her arriving down, Harry didn't realize that you were home early when he opens the bathroom door, singing to himself wearing absolutely nothing as he wants to go and grab a pair of clean underwear, but he is shocked to see you standing in the kitchen.
“Shit!” he snaps, hands immediately flying to cover himself as he sprints back to the bathroom quickly grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist.
Your cheeks are heating up immediately even though you didn’t see anything you weren’t supposed to, the counter top covered him just right above the critical line, but it’s the first time you’ve seen his upper body completely naked.
Even though it was just a spit second, the sight of his many tattoos and the defined V-line leading down to his crotch burned straight into your mind, leaving you flustered and shy all of a sudden.
“Sorry! I should have let you know I was coming home early!” you call out turning around, as if he was about to walk out naked again. Harry chuckles lightly as he returns, this time a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Don’t be silly, you don’t have to check in when you come home. It was my fault, I shouldn’t just walk around naked assuming you wouldn’t be home.”
You should, you think to yourself gulping as you turn around and dare to look at him again. You don’t see less than just a few seconds ago, his chest is glistening from the dampness, his curls are still wet and you are having a hard time not to stare at the tattoos on his lower stomach, so you busy yourself with the rest of your groceries as he walks into his room and returns in a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt.
“Any plans for the weekend?” he asks disappearing in the bathroom, but he leaves the door open and you hear him shuffle around, probably fixing up his hair. He uses some kind of mousse that keeps his curls perfectly and also happens to smell like mango and some kind of citrus.
“Um, not really.”
“We’re playing at this bar with the band, wanna come and watch us?” Walking out of the bathroom he switches the light off before walking to the couch and opening up his Netflix account on the TV. His invitation surprises you, but it also feels nice he wants you there.
“Oh, sounds fun! Can I bring someone?”
“Of course! I can have a table reserved for you, if you’d like,” he smiles at you before turning his attention to the screen.
“That would be great, thanks.”
You feel like after your little encounter it’s probably not the best day to join him at the TV, especially because you can’t stop yourself from blushing every time you look at him. The sight of his naked torso pops up in your mind every time and there’s no way you can just casually sit on the couch with him without your body lighting up on fire.
 Rita is excited when you tell her about the invitation, you don’t even have to convince her to go with you since she is dying to finally meet Harry. When he leaves in the early afternoon on Saturday he assures you that there’s gonna be a table reserved under your name, and off he goes to practice, leaving you alone for the rest of the day since he tells you he won’t be back before the concert tonight. Rita comes over around six and the two of you get ready together.
“You have to wear something spicy,” she wiggles her eyebrows at you while you sit at your desk applying mascara to your lashes.
“I don’t want to overdress, it’s just a bar.”
“Yeah, but Harry invited you. I bet he wants you to see him play.”
“Of course he wants, why else would he invite me?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows.
“You don’t get it,” she chuckles turning to you, hands on her hips. “He wants you to see him play because it feeds his ego. Maybe even turns him on.”
“Stop acting like there is anything between us. We are flatmates and that’s all.”
“I think he wants to be more, you’re just too pussy to make a move yourself,” she shrugs turning back to your closet.
“Stop calling me a pussy for not wanting to make it awkward for the two of us to live together. I’m pretty sure Harry doesn’t see me as anything more than just the person he lives with.”
“Then we have to change that. And I think this is the perfect dress for that.”
Rita pulls out a little black dress you bought about a year ago, but never really got around to wear it. It’s so tight, pushes your tits up way too much for your liking, you’re not even sure why you bought it in the first place.
“I’m not wearing that,” you shake your head.
“Are you afraid he might get a boner from you in it?”
“Rita!” you snap at her, but she just chuckles.
“Look, if you’re so sure he doesn’t want you like that, why does it matter what you wear?”
She has a point. It’s not like this dress will change anything and it would be nice to wear at least once in your life this stupid dress if you bought it.
Grabbing it from her hands you throw it to the bed and start undressing as she claps in victory.
You remembered right, the dress leaves close to nothing to the imagination when it comes to your figure. The fabric hugs your figure tightly, and you put on a lacy bralette that peeks out at the top of the dress, kind of covering some more from your skin, since the dress doesn’t do much in that field itself. Rita tries to convince you not to take a jacket, but you throw your denim jacket on, feeling the need to have something give you the slightest sense of being covered.
You arrive at the bar twenty minutes before the concert starts and it’s a good thing Harry reserved a table for you, because the place is packed. You’re not sure if it’s because of them or it’s just a regular Saturday evening.
The little stage is all set up, but you see no sign of Harry anywhere as the two of you settle at your table with a drink. Luckily, the bartender did not ask for an ID, he was too busy looking at your chest. At least there’s one good thing in this dress.
The drum set at the back has the name of the band on it and you smile reading it. The word ‘Stylish’ is printed on it with bold blue letters, referring to Harry’s last name, who is most likely the front man of the band.
The place is buzzing and the two of you enjoy being out at a bar concert. When the lights go down you finally spot him walking out of the back followed by a guy and two girls.
“Welcome, folks,” he greets the audience, his accent filling up the place over the chatters. A round of cheering answers him, making him smile. “Thank you for coming out tonight, we hope to entertain you in the next hour. Our name is Stylish and now let’s get down to business,” he smirks and just as he takes a step back from the mic, the band starts playing. Harry grabs a guitar himself before stepping back to the mic and then he starts singing.
They play a mixture of covers and original songs, the transition between them is so smooth you sometimes forget it’s a whole different song that’s playing. Harry is clearly enjoying the spotlight, his presence on the stage is so natural and capturing, you often catch yourself forgetting about the rest of the band.
One song follows the other and you don’t even realize how fast this hour passes by. Harry sometimes stops in-between songs, entertaining the audience with small jokes and just casually interacting with them.
“Our last song is up next, so let me take a moment to introduce the band,” Harry speaks into the mic while softly playing the guitar so it’s not completely quiet as he talks. “At the drums, the amazing and talented Sarah Jones!”
A round of applause fills the bar as Sara waves around smiling widely, before Harry moves on to the next member.
“Playing the piano, the wonderful Charlotte Clark!”
Charlotte plays a short melody on the keys matching up with what Harry has been playing, before she also waves at the audience.
“The guy who is a way better guitarist than me, Mitch Rowland.”
Harry’s comment makes the audience laugh and Mitch just nods shyly, a smile pulling on his lips under his mustache.
“And this handsome Brit who sometimes acts like a comedian,” Sarah starts leaning closer to her mic. “Harry Styles.”
It’s no surprise that Harry gets the biggest cheering and he smirks sweetly, his fingers still strumming on the guitar. The clapping and screaming slowly dies down and as Harry steps back to his mic they start the last song.
It’s quite an upbeat, funky song, you just can’t resist dancing around on your chair and seemingly Rita is enjoying herself as well, cheering with her beer in her hand. The song comes to an end and they all line up at the front of the stage bowing down together as the whole bar cheers on them as one person.
“Woah, this was… something else,” Rita breathes out once they disappear at the back and chatter fills up the place once again and the lights come back.
“They smashed it!” you nod in agreement. You figured they are good if they get asked to perform, but this was way beyond what you were expecting.
Looking around you are hoping to see Harry somewhere, but they must be celebrating somewhere at the back. Maybe he won’t even come out, you think to yourself as you finish up your beer.
“I’ll get us another round,” you tell Rita as you make your way to the bar.
There are quite a few people waiting to be served, so you squeeze yourself into the crowd and hope to get to the front soon.
“So how did you like it?”
You jump in surprise when you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind you, and turning around you see how close he is standing to you.
“Hi! I didn’t even see you sneak up on me,” you chuckle making him smile as he squeezes himself next to you. The two of you finally reach the front, but the bartender is serving someone a little on the left so you have to wait. “I loved it, you were like a proper rockstar up there!”
“Thanks,” he chuckles and his dimples show up on his cheeks. The bartender finally gets to you and Harry is quick to order for the both of you. “’S probably better if I place the order since you’re not twenty one just yet.”
“Didn’t have any problem ordering the first time,” you smirk smugly and Harry raises his eyebrows at you before his eyes wander down your body for a second.
“I bet you didn’t in this dress.”
Suddenly, you’re very aware of how daring your outfit looks, so out of reflex, you pull your jacket tighter on yourself, Harry’s smile quickly fades as he realizes that he made you uncomfortable with his comment.
“I meant that you look really pretty. Definitely makes you appear a little older though.”
“My friend wanted me to wear it, I would have been fine with something else,” you admit as the bartender places your order in front of you and Harry pays for the whole thing.
“Glad she convinced you,” he grins down at you and you can feel your cheeks heating up once again.
He helps you carry the drinks to the table and Rita quickly puts her phone away when she sees who you are returning with.
“Harry, this is my friend, Rita. Rita, this is Harry,” you introduce them and Harry shakes her head smiling.
“Nice to meet you,” he nods kindly.
“Oh, same goes for you,” Rita smirks and you roll your eyes at her.
“I’ll go get the rest of the band, do you mind if we join you guys here? There are no empty tables.”
“Sure,” you nod smiling before the crowd swallows Harry.
“For fuck’s sake, you have to make a move on him, Y/N!” Rita turns to you as soon as he is gone.
“Would you stop?” you chuckle.
“No! This dude is so hot I forget my name when I look at him! And you live with him! You can’t miss this chance, Y/N.”
“I’m not missing anything. We live together, it’s not worth it.”
“Not missing anything?” Rita looks at you as if you were mental. “You are literally missing everything!”
“I’m done with this conversation,” you tell him just when Harry appears again, this time with two of his bandmates, Sarah and Mitch are following him smiling, hand in hand.
“Charlotte had to leave early, but this is Sarah and Mitch,” Harry introduces them as they join the two of you at the table. “And this is my flatmate, Y/N and her friend Rita.”
You all shake hands as Harry sorts out the extra beers he has ordered so everyone has a drink on their hand.
It’s no surprise, but Sarah and Mitch prove themselves to be just as cool as they seemed up on the stage. And the best thing is that they don’t shy away from sharing funny stories that include Harry.
“So have you been looking for a new place to stay, Y/N?” Mitch jokes. “I’m sure you’ve had enough of Harry by now.”
“Very funny,” Harry laughs at his bandmate’s comment.
“To be honest it’s pretty fine so far. He is a pleasant person to share your home with,” you say with a soft chuckle.
“What’s one thing you hate about living with him?” Sarah asks and Harry pretends to be hurt over the question.
“Who said there’s anything she hates?”
“Shush, I was asking her!” she hushes at him making you laugh.
“I really can’t point out anything in particular. Maybe he has been very careful, luring me into believing that he is the perfect flatmate so I get stuck with him.”
You stay for a while, just chatting and having a good time until the bar starts to empty out and you decide it’s better if you head home as well.
“We have to take care of the equipment, are you leaving or do you want to wait for me?” Harry asks you.
“We’ll just call an Uber, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him.
“Alright, see you at home.”
You say goodbye to Sarah and Mitch and part your ways with them as you and Rite head outside.
“I hope you noticed how Harry was looking at you,” Rita smirks at you when the two of you are sitting at the back of the Uber.
“What are you talking about?” you sigh leaning your head against the seat.
“I caught him staring at you quite a few times.”
“He was just probably looking at me when I was talking. Don’t try to talk something into it that’s not true.”
“Alright, I’ll stop,” she replies holding up her hands. “But I still think you are missing out on some amazing dick.”
You awkwardly glance at the driver who is hearing everything you say, but Rita seemingly doesn’t mind that you’re not alone.
“You know what? We should give Tinder a try.”
“What? Why?”
“If you don’t want to make a move on your hot flatmate, we need to get some satisfaction from others.”
“I’m fine, thanks.”
“Oh, you are not,” she chuckles. “But you will be when you match with the hottest guys on campus.”
You let Rita believe that she convinced you to sign up for Tinder, but you get out of the car with the intention of never downloading the app, like ever.
Walking into the apartment you grab a clean, oversized t-shirt and a pair of panties since your sleeping shorts are all dirty, but you were planning to do the laundry tomorrow. You decide it’s not a big deal and the shirt will probably cover enough of your body.
You take a quick shower to get off the thick smell of the bar that’s stuck on your skin, taking your time moisturizing yourself once you’re done. When you get dressed you see that the shirt does cover your bum, but if you lifted your arms up it surely shows a big portion of your ass, so you’ll have to be careful if Harry arrives.
You’re lounging on the couch watching a rerun of House M.D. and scrolling through your phone when Harry arrives.
“Hey there, rockstar!” you greet him teasingly and he just chuckles shyly.
“Is it gonna be my new nickname?”
“Well, you really were one tonight, so I think yes,” you nod making him laugh. Walking further inside his eyes stop on your bare legs and he is quick to notice that you’re not wearing any pants, like you usually do. You immediately tug on the end of the shirt to cover more of your skin, but it’s not really working.
“Ehm, I’ll go and take a quick shower,” he informs you before disappearing in his room first and then rushing into the bathroom.
Looking down at your attire you decide it’ll be better if you threw on some sweats. Harry clearly got a little uncomfortable seeing you so bare, so it’s better to cover up. You’ll just take them off when you go to bed.
Harry doesn’t take too long in there, and when he joins you on the couch you are pretty sure he took a cold shower since no steam followed him when he left the bathroom. His eyes flicker to your now covered legs, but he doesn’t say anything, just makes himself comfortable next to you.
“You like it?” he asks nodding at the TV.
“Yeah, he is such an asshole, but it’s funny,” you huff. “Hey, I took a few pictures tonight. Wanna see if you like any of them?”
“Sure,” he nods pushing himself up a little as you unlock your phone and show him the photos you took of him and the band while performing.
Some of them ended up really cool, you were able to catch the lights and their movements just the right way, especially one stands out where he was holding out a note, basically screaming into the mic, he really looks like a rockstar on that one.
“Can you send me this one?”
“Done,” you smile at him and glancing over you see that he opens the Instagram app on his phone. You watch him crop and adjust it a little bit, then tag his bandmates and finally, he posts it.
“Wow, this is the first picture on your page with you actually on it,” you tease him.
“So you’ve been stalking my profile?” he smirks at you.
“I wanted to check you out before I moved in, but your social media was no help in that.”
“Yeah, I’m not a fan of posting that much, but this was a cool picture.”
“It’s an honor to know that I took the first one featuring you.”
“Actually, this is the second one, but it is the first one where my face is visible,” Harry tells you before turning his attention back to the TV, but the gears start to turn wildly in your mind, trying to remember which picture could be the other one.
Later, when you’re lying in your bed with your door closed, you pull up his profile and stat scrolling down. Most of the pictures fall out, because they have absolutely no trace of any human being on them. But then you stop at the one that features a black silhouette of a man, the one you thought wasn’t him.
Opening up you tap on the tag and see that it leads to Mitch’s profile, but now that you’ve met him, you’re pretty sure it’s not him in the picture. So you take a closer look and as you go over the small details, like the line of his neck, how wide his shoulders are and the untamed curls, you soon realize that it is indeed Harry in the photo.
You push down a moan when realization sets in, because that means that you’re staring at the naked silhouette of Harry and it immediately starts a fire between your legs.
“Jesus,” you whisper as you let yourself stare at the photo a little longer. You weren’t expecting it, but it’s surely making you feel some kind of way.
Locking your phone you throw it to your nightstand before you bury your head into your pillow. You have to press your thighs together quite tightly to make the throbbing sensation stop so you can finally fall asleep. Well, it takes some time before that happens and it’s quite torturous.
  Unlike how you planned, Rita finally gets you to download Tinder and give it a try. She helps you set up your profile, and though at first it feels incredibly awkward, you slowly adjust to being out there on the virtual market.
You start swiping left and right whenever you are bored during classes or you’re having a break from studying. Your matches start to pile up and soon enough you start getting messages as well. You reply to the ones you like or find funny and creative, giving them a chance, but not many end up going too far. Somehow the conversations always die down and you lose interest in the person.
Only one guy gets as far as asking you out and getting a yes as an answer. Jordan is a physics major and seemed like a nice and funny guy through the messages, good-looking too, so you decided to give it a go.
So Friday evening you dolled yourself up, put on a nice blouse with your favorite skinny jeans and black heels, ready to head out to your first ever Tinder date.
As you walk out of your room you find Harry in the kitchen in his basketball shorts and a simple black t-shirt making himself a cup of tea. The shorts are hanging low on his waist and as he reaches up to get the hones from the cupboard you get a glimpse of the soft skin on his lower waist. You quickly look away before you could have any further thoughts about what else is under the waistband of his shorts.
“Oh, where are you heading all dressed up?” he asks, eyebrows raised.
“I actually have a date,” you admit nervously as you grab your keys and put it away in your purse.
“Lucky guy,” he smiles and you can feel your cheeks heating up again. There’s just something in the way he compliments you, it makes your knees go jelly.
“Thanks. I’ll see you later? I’m not sure when I’ll be back,” you tell him grabbing your jacket from the hanger next to the front door.
“Have fun,” he nods before you walk out.
 Jordan proves himself to be quite frankly the same guy you got to know through messages. He takes you to this Mexican themed bar and you are just chatting over some exciting looking cocktails, but you find yourself zoning out sometimes.
What is Harry doing right now? Is he staying at home? I should have asked if he had any plans. Maybe he is hooking up with someone right now.
You find yourself thinking about way more than you probably should and it’s making you lose your shit. So maybe this is why, or because Rita told you to just go with the flow, but when Jordan asks if you want to go up to his place you say yes.
It’s as awkward and bad as you were expecting, unfortunately. There’s a reason why you don’t hook up with every random guy you go out with once. You are totally on different pages, but when you are lying under him on his bed, you just know there’s no way out.
It’s not that he forces you, because you’re sure he would have stopped if you asked, but it would be so awkward to just walk out because you weren’t feeling the vibe. So at least one of you should enjoy it.
You should deserve an Oscar for that orgasm you fake, it’s so believable. Jordan doesn’t seem to notice that you felt absolutely nothing, just frustration and impatience, he tries to make you stay the night, but you save yourself with a lie that you have to wake up early in the morning so it’s best if you head home.
Your frustration just grows on your way home. You were really hoping to get laid tonight, so maybe that could stop you from fantasizing about Harry, because your thoughts have been wild since you found out that he is the one on that Instagram picture. It doesn’t help that he has been walking around shirtless quite a lot.
Shameful or not, you even touched yourself once thinking about him. You were home alone after a particularly boring day so you thought you’d just get yourself off. Before you could realize where your thoughts have wandered, you were moaning his name as you came hard. You couldn’t look into his eyes that day when he came home, he probably thought you were nuts, basically running away from him.
It’s almost midnight when you get back home, you were expecting Harry to be asleep by now since he has band practice in the morning, but you are surprised to see light coming from his room. As you close the front door, kicking your heels off he walks out, of course, without a shirt, his glorious body on full display.
“Hey, how was your date?” he asks as you step to the fridge to get yourself something to drink. You’ve been so damn thirsty since Jordan was… done with you, you could have asked for some water at least, but you just wanted to leave as fast as possible.
“Ugh, don’t even ask,” you whine, leaning against the counter.
“That bad?”
“Worse,” you roll your eyes and Harry chuckles softly.
“Come on, it couldn’t be that bad if you came home so late.”
“Well, it did start off nice, but I shouldn’t have said yes when he asked if I wanted to go to his place.”
“Oh.”
“Worst sex of my life, I wanted out the moment we arrived, to be honest,” you honestly say, feeling a little weird that you’re talking to Harry about it, but you just want to get it off your chest.
“Then why didn’t you just leave?”
“Dunno, I just… I was hoping for just a little satisfaction, but I guess I asked for too much,” you sigh finishing up your water and you walk past him with the intention to grab your pajamas and have a shower that would wash away the happenings of the night, but Harry’s voice stops you.
“Not everything is lost just yet.” Turning around you give him a puzzled look.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He bites into his bottom lip and lets his eyes travel down your body, his intent gaze sends a shiver down your spine. When his eyes return to your gaze your heart is wildly beating against your chest.
“I mean that… I can make you feel good, if you want.”
Your mouth hangs open and your eyebrows shoot up at the blunt offer he just made. At first you’re not even sure you heard him right, but as you replay his words you realize that you indeed heard him crystal clear.
“Are you messing with me right now?” you ask, feeling like it’s all just a joke. He did not just offer to satisfy you because you complained to him about how bad your date was.
Harry takes a few steps closer to you, a small smirk tugging on his lips.
“Not really. You want to get off and I would love to be the one to help you with it.”
“But… we live together,” you say and realize how stupid this just sounded, but you hope he gets what you were trying to say.
“So? Does that mean we can’t fuck?”
The way he said that makes your legs go weak for sure. You’ve been fantasizing about things similar to this, but those were nowhere near to actually hear him propose the idea of fucking.
“But… it’ll be weird, won’t it?”
“Only if we make it.”
He walks closer, closing the distance between the two of you and he cups your cheek in his hand as his eyes flicker down to your lips.
“Harry…” you breathe out, but you already know you gave in. There’s no way you can say him no, not after weeks of dreaming about the exact same thing.
“Just stop thinking,” he tells you before pressing his lips against yours.
He kisses you hard and you gladly let his tongue push into your mouth within a second, kissing him back with the same passion. You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands travel down on your sides until they reach your ass and they give it a bold squeeze, making you moan into his lips. You feel him grin as his hands move over to your thighs and he urges you to jump and so you do, wrapping your legs around his waist.
Though you keep your eyes closed, kissing him hard, you can tell he brings you to the couch, laying you down to your back, holding himself up above you. He starts kissing down your jawline and neck, sucking and biting on the sensitive skin. His hands grab the hem of your shirt and you lift yourself up a bit so he can pull it off, throwing it away to somewhere behind the couch. While his lips are sucking on your breasts wherever they are bulging out from the lacy bra, his hands work fast on your jeans, undoing the button and the zipper, tugging them down until you can just kick them right off.
“Matching set? You were really counting on having a good time tonight,” he mumbles against your tummy as he kisses his way down on your body.
His right hand reaches up and cups your breast before it slides under you and easily unclasps your bra. You quickly slide the straps off and throw it to the side, so now you are lying under him only in your panties, whimpering and panting at every kiss he leaves on your body.
“What do you want, Y/N?” he hums glancing up at you, sitting between your legs as he slides just one finger over your soaking wet panties, running it along your throbbing center.
“Fuck, I want you,” you breathe out.
“How exactly do you want me?”
“Jesus, just eat me out, Harry!” you shamelessly moan and he smugly smirks before he hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them down, throwing it to the ground.
Now you’re lying completely naked in front of him, and he pushes your knees farther apart, looking down at you with lustful eyes.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” he growls as he gets closer and without a warning, he licks into you.
You moan in sensation as he starts sucking on your clit, his tongue working perfectly against your bud. Your hands find their way into his hair and you grab a handful of it in each. Oh, how many times you’ve thought about doing this!
“Harry!” you cry out when you feel him push a finger into you, slowly pumping it in and out a few times before he adds another to it. He quickly picks up his pace as he keeps sucking on your clit, getting you closer to your orgasm with every lick.
“Fuck, I’m so close!” you moan, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you struggle to even breathe.
“Cum for me, baby,” he mumbles against your wet clit and just a few more pumps later you came, screaming his name.
“Fucking hell, Harry!” you breathe out when he climbs up on you smirking.
“You think you can handle another one?” he asks, pecking your lips softly. Looking down you see how hard he is and even if you were on the verge of dying you would have said yes. There’s no way you let him get up from this couch unsatisfied after the orgasm he just gave you.
Instead of saying anything, you push on him until he is sitting on the couch and you have your knees on his sides.
“I think you are a little overdressed, aren’t you?” you ask teasingly as you bring a hand down to his erection, cupping it through his shorts and underwear.
Harry cranes his neck so his lips could meet yours again as he lifts his hips up, pushing his shorts down along with his boxers. You sit back down to his lap and his erection presses against your wet folds making you moan into his mouth.
“Do you want me to suck you off?” you ask breathlessly, but Harry shakes his head.
“I would last, I just want to fuck you,” he growls and you swear to God that was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard.
“Condom, we need a condom,” you tell him, still kissing his lips.
You get off him and he quickly runs into his room, shortly returning with a condom between his teeth. He rips the package on his way and falls back to the couch, rolling it on carefully. When he is done you swing your leg over him and get on top again, holding onto his broad shoulders. He grabs the base of his cock and lines himself up to your center and you give yourself a moment to admire his naked beauty right in front of you.
You look into his sparkling eyes and leaning down you kiss him hard as you slowly ease down to his length, his cock slowly filling you up fully.
“Oh fuck!” he moans at the feeling of you around him. His fingers dig deep into your waist as you stay still for a few moments, adjusting to his length. “You alright?” he asks breathlessly. Your eyes meet his and you nod a little before you start moving.
It takes a few moments to find the right pace and get yourself comfortable, but when you finally do, you just can’t stop. His hands are on your ass as he guides your hips a little and you feel the rings on his fingers against your heated skin. He buries his face into your neck nibbling and kissing on the soft skin wherever he reaches.
“Fuck, you look so fucking hot, Y/N,” he grunts when you let your head fall back, feeling your orgasm slowly building up again.
“Harry, I’m gonna cum again,” you pant, picking up a faster pace, desperate for release.
“Cum for me, baby. Let me make you feel good!” he moans wrapping his arms around you as he holds you still, stopping you from moving, but instead he starts thrusting into you, his cock buries so deep into your pussy, your eyes roll back into your head from the feeling.
“Yes! Don’t fucking stop!” you scream as he keeps fucking you hard.
It doesn’t take too long until you fall completely apart and cum again, your legs basically turning into jelly. Just a few thrusts later Harry cums as well, thrusting deep into you a few more times as he moans into your neck.
You lie completely numb on him, his fingers gently stroking your naked back as you try to come back to reality. When you lean back and your eyes meet again you are still speechless.
“I’ve literally wanted it since the day you walked into this place,” he admits with a soft chuckle.
“Really?” you giggle shyly.
“Oh, really. Seeing you around, sometimes without a bra under your shirt completely killed me most of the time.”
Your cheeks are heating up, you didn’t think he noticed when you weren’t wearing a bra.
“Don’t be so shy, you have amazing tits, you are not allowed to wear a bra anymore around here,” he teases you grinning as you laugh and leaning down you kiss him shortly.
“I had quite a few fantasies about you too,” you admit making him raise his eyebrows.
“Really?”
“Mhm, especially after you walked out of the bathroom naked, even though I didn’t even see your dick then.”
Harry chuckles lightly as he pushes his hair back from his forehead, resting his head against the back of the couch.
“So…” you shyly start, ”what now?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that… we live together and we just fucked. What does this mean for the future?”
“Well, I thought that next time we could do it the right way. I could take you out on a proper date, and then fuck you on the kitchen counter.”
You laugh at how blunt he is, but you love the idea he just proposed.
“Okay. Sounds fine by me.”
2K notes · View notes
jiilys · 3 years
Note
would u help me out for a second. im in the mood to write for the first time, and i think your style is beautiful. sitting down n actually trying though, im stuck as fuck! i’m realizing that in your dialogue/scenes you’ve got a lot of Little Things. little tiny elements that are subtle & just enough. how are you deciding that lily is building a house of cards at the moment or sirius is sitting in a tree or whatever during a given scene? how do you come up with those ideas for dialogue that are so silly & real & sneakily tender? do you know where it’s going when you begin? any advice for just… starting something?
ps: i appreciate you. you make it look easy & that’s very very cool
This is a lovely question!! Sorry it took me so long to get to it, I didn’t want to get it wrong. Also I’ve included some examples to try and explain what I mean in practise, but it also comes off rather like plugging. tragically this is unavoidable. Anyway, all that being said I have no idea how to advise you about dialogue and coming up with it, I think just listening to people talk helps. Don’t forget contractions, and when in doubt always trust the reader to keep up, real people don’t say perfect or even grammatically correct sentences a lot of the time. We also cut each other off all the time, especially when we’re trying to be funny. Like, here’s an example from warm front:
“He’s not even two. He probably would have thought it was, like, having a lie down or something.”
Harry was laughing now, “A lie down?”
“Yeah, a spontaneous, truck-induced–“
“–Permanent–“ “
–Permanent, lie-down. I’m almost jealous now actually.”
Another thing, but people say um and like or can't speak or cut themselves off, especially when they’re nervous. James when Lily says she loves him for the first time: ‘“Wow,” He breathed, “I’m– wow.” He put both hands on her cheeks and kissed her crazy, abruptly, dumbly. Her head spun.’ He can’t even speak! Dumb boy.
I think natural dialogue sometimes just requires you to read it aloud, which is very embarrassing but ultimately quite useful in trying to figure out whether something sounds normal or not. Use casual words, and try not to go dictionary hunting: if you cant think of the word chances are your character can’t either
In terms of concepts I have no idea, but I do have a few tips. I write all my short one-shots in one document (its called ‘just bad’ lmao) so its easy to start something, write a few lines, and then if it doesnt work just start a new concept, but still have all the old stuff handy. if you feel like you’ve written yourself into a corner its probably because you took a wrong turn earlier, so its just a matter of going back up and figuring out where you turned onto the dead end, or where a line could be funnier and/or sadder and/or more meaningful. Sometimes the bare bones of a decent line is there but you have to work it a little.
In this harry/ginny thing where harry is apologising for all the attention and ginny brushes him off she says:
“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”
The response went through a few drafts, all variations on the same thing:
(1) “You’re funnier.” [too short, doesn’t make sense, and not really that funny. unholy trinity]
(2) “You make it funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, “It’s not– you make it like that.” [this could work! I have no idea why I cut this, I think I forgot abt it lmao]
(3) “You’re the funniest person I know, Harry said, sincerely, and Ginny felt her heartbeat all through her, “You make it funny.” [jumping from ‘its more funny than annoying’ to getting this sincere out of nowhere is a little much, even for harry who is famously whipped]
I ended up going with this:
“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”
“You’re funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, flustered, “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”
It follows the flow of the conversation and I think the way he says it, ‘you’re funny’ like its obvious, and then being like oh fuck and over-explaining it stumbling a little “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”. You know when you like someone and you say something that gives you away before you can stop yourself? I wanted it to sound like that. Just gotta keep in mind how people behave, we are so stupid a lot of the time, we give ourselves away.
The thing about short stuff i find is implying a lot of history without actually describing a lot of it. I normally do this by having memories come up as almost shards, one second of feeling. You know when you’re in a conversation with someone and they mention someone or a past event, and it rises to the top of your brain, but only for a second? i find sometimes when you’re reading stuff people will try and replay entire memories or events mid-conversation, which is not something you do when you think. You don’t need to replay it beat by beat, you were there! This sounds vague as hell so I’ll try and show you what I mean:
From good crimes: “Petunia is engaged.” Lily’s voice, raw and wrong, “To Vernon. Eliza Hunt told me at the supermarket.” Sudden flashes of Petunia, the only time he’d ever met her, sat in the back of Lily’s twenty-first, pinched and whispering. “Whose Eliza Hunt?” This seems as good a thing to say as any.
pretty on the nose (the phrase ‘sudden flashes’ is pretty so i'll allow it from past me). But see how you don’t need to know how Petunia didnt talk to anyone, how she left early, how she was the odd one out: you don’t need to read all that, you already know because she was sat in the back and because pinched is such a mean verb, spiteful and sharp, you can already imagine how the evening went without me saying so
From my proposal take, after Sirius finds out they’re engaged: Sirius’ grip on his shoulder tightened for one second, still grinning, and James knew what he meant. “I know.” He said, because only Sirius had been there for all of it, when they were fifteen, drunk on Firewhiskey for the first time and James had said I think I’ve fucked it, I think I’ve fucked it but I like her for real.
you don’t need a description of the whole night, what party they were at, who they were with, what they were talking about: the important bit is that Sirius was the first person he told, and that they’re both remembering that at the same moment because they’re soulmates lmao. You know when something big happens for a friend and you feel so full of pride & love that you feel like you’ll burst into confetti?? this needed to feel like that, and you only need a flash for it
I feel like I’ve sort of strayed off from what you asked me, which is really advice on how to start something. I normally start with a line, usually of dialogue, and then try and build from there because dialogue is my thing. You might have a different thing! Some people write from concepts or locations, or an image. i might start with one or a few lines of dialogue, write them down, and then try to build from there. For example for the proposal thing I started from james just saying “Marry me”, which I find more romantic than ‘will you marry me’, purely because it sounds like he simply couldn’t stop himself from saying it, like it rushed out. Another example, this thing started from just “don’t be mad at me” “okay” James agreed instantly, because he is such a sucker for her.
When I write I don’t normally know where I’m going! I normally set out to write something I think is vaguely funny and evokes An Emotion, and then I just play around with stuff until I get there. when I write certain stuff and I have scenes in mind, stuff I want to happen, but I find that if I try to plot it to tightly its not exciting to work on, because sometimes you write a good line by accident, that you hadn’t thought of when you sat down, and you surprise yourself. That is a really nice feeling! i want to maximise that feeling.
'What I mostly try to remember is that writing something down, anything down, is useful. Sometimes you write for a whole night and dont get anything useable, but its like clearing pipes. Sometimes you have to flush through shit to get to the good bits. All the rough stuff, the things you don’t like or didn’t work, you wrote to get you to the stuff that did work. All of the bad shit got you here! It wasn’t a waste, you were working to find the good thing
If I had any tips its just the usual stuff, read! It is annoying how much that helps. Also, and I know this may make you shudder, but reading poetry is useful just because in no other literary or media form is language so important. In comics you have pictures, in novels you have plot and character, in film you all that and cinematography, but in poetry you live and die by how good the words are. If you want recs here’s my poem roundup tag, that I do sometimes, or if you want something just now read this by Anne Carson, which uses words like ‘smashing’, ‘boatwash’, and ‘green’ in the best way possible. Also it has these lines: “Recently having learned to recognize the type of tree called sycamore, / I see them in any forest— / the ones that look harrowed, / in shreds, but / go also / straight up into life,”
I mean, think of a sharper image than that?? It’s not possible. Just try remember to stay true to your characters and that in real life, the little stuff is the big stuff. Little things the people around you do normally show they care more than big speeches, and if you want to show love that’s how to make it feel lived in. You want to build a world! the little stuff is usually the world. Take some from your own or dream the ones you wish you had.
This truly was a very kind message and I’m so grateful you like my stuff, I hope any of this was even half-useful, although now reading it back it is borderline nonsensical. I’m going to bed now, good luck with the writing, and don’t forget to send it to me!!
caro xoxo
72 notes · View notes
cjsinkythoughts · 3 years
Text
FATWS One Shot #6 - No One Said Anything About a Metal Arm
Word Count: 2011
Warnings: Explosions, Gunshots, The Winter Soldier, Implied Death, Stevie Almost Crying
Setting/Characters: Towards the End of Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Reader, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Maria Hill, Nick Fury, Bucky Barnes; Mentions of Alexander Pierce, Arnim Zola
A/N: This one took me a while to write and I’ll tell you why. Rewatching this movie made me want to do a complete rewrite of it. I had so many ideas of where the reader could be and why and what she was doing then and all that. But…I told myself this is a One Shot of her unofficially meeting Bucky for the first time. Which is why it seems incomplete - because it kinda is - it’s just that scene picked from the movie. Am I happy with it? Eh. Am I holding back from writing more parts and just saying “forget this piece, it never happened”? Maybe. But, I can’t. I wish I could. But if I were to rewrite this movie, I’d rewrite the next one. And the next one. And it would take me months to finish these. So…this is what you’re getting.
Also, NO ONE MENTION WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN IN A COUPLE HOURS! I’M THIS CLOSE TO FREAKING OUT!
Thanks! As always, it’s not beta’d, so please excuse mistakes! Enjoy reading, be kind to yourselves and others, and stay tuned!
FATWS Masterlist
cjsinkythoughts Masterlist
Tumblr media
********
Sitting on the edge of the old dam was calming. Peaceful, even. The constant sound of the flowing water, the trees swaying in the slight breeze. It was nice to take a breath after everything that had gone down the past week.
To say you were worried was an understatement. The last time you saw Steve was the evening after you met Sam. He dropped you off at your place, refusing your invitation to stay saying that he should probably check on his apartment since he hadn’t been there in a while.
A lot had changed since then.
Steve was wanted by SHIELD, along with Natasha. Fury was considered dead, but was actually still kicking in the structure beneath your feet with the help of you and Hill. You had tried to go after Steve, but it was too risky. Pierce - who you were almost 100% certain was behind this whole thing - had been keeping a close eye on you since Steve ran away, knowing you’d be behind him. You tried to catch the blonde at the hospital, but you were seconds too late, meeting up with Natasha who told you STRIKE already took him away for questioning.
You had been called by Hill and she told you what had happened. Fury had asked for your help specifically, considering the amount of times you’d had to fake your own death while being undercover. And you’d been dealing with that ever since.
You had wanted to go get the three of them - you learned Sam joined Steve and Natasha, which somehow didn’t surprise you - but Hill refused, saying you needed to stay there just in case.
But Fury was fine, no one was coming, which is how you found yourself swinging your legs above a hundred feet of rushing water.
It didn’t last long. A car pulling up to the side entrance caught your eye and you immediately swung your legs around to rush towards the stairs. It’s not like you haven’t gone longer without seeing Steve before. You’d gone months without seeing him. It was your job. But this was different. Whether it was because for the first time he was the one who left or because he was on the run from the organization you worked for, you didn’t know and didn’t care. All you knew was you needed to see him. Make sure he was okay.
It took you a while to get there, all the stairs and corners and twist and turns. You got there just as Fury ended his explanation, hearing him tell the trio, “can’t kill you if you’re already dead. Besides…I wasn’t sure who to trust.”
Your footsteps were echoing and you were sure Steve heard you but when you entered the room, his eyebrows shot up, his eyes widening. “Honey?”
“Oh thank fucking God.” You breathed out, jogging over to squeeze him tightly. 
“Y/N…” He murmured in your hair, hugging you tightly back. “What happened? Why are you here?”
Pulling back, you jerked your thumb over your shoulder to the director. “I’m saving his ass.” Your finger then jabbed into his firm chest, your lips falling into a frown. “And worrying about yours. Are you okay?”
“I am. Natasha got shot, but she’ll live.”
You looked over at Natasha, who nodded in confirmation, before looking back into those azure eyes of Steve’s. “What happened? Pierce is keeping a tight lid on everything. I was gonna come find you, but I couldn’t because he was watching me. It’s a miracle I got away from them to help Nicky boy. I haven’t gone out since. But, honest, I was gonna-”
“Honey, honey. You’re rambling again.” Steve chuckled, hand resting on the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair. “It’s okay. I’m glad you’ve been safe here. Pierce is behind this whole thing-”
“Yeah, I figured that-”
“-It’s HYDRA, Y/N.”
You froze. “What? HYDRA? Whaddya mean?”
Steve nodded. “HYDRA’s what’s been infiltrating SHIELD. It’s a long story, but Zola continued it when he was hired for-”
“Operation Paperclip. Yeah, I remember learning about that.” You ran a hand over your face. “Okay…” You hummed, looking at the three of them. “Let’s…talk about it more in a little bit. I know we gotta act soon, but Natasha and Fury need to heal a little bit longer and you should get some rest. You look tired.”
Everyone seemed to agree with your statement, starting to disperse from the room. You started walking out, too, when Steve grabbed your bicep and pulled you aside, down the hall a ways away. You opened your mouth, only for him to pull you into his chest.
“I’m really glad you’re okay.”
You nodded, lightly scratching his back, your arms around his slim waist. “I’m glad you are too.” You could feel how tense he was, which was understandable considering what he’d gone through the past couple days. But there was something else. Something in the grip he had on your shirt. The way his heart was hammering against your chest. His erratic breathing and his ducked head. You pulled away to catch his jaw between your fingers, eyes scanning the anguish in his own. “Bubba? What’s wrong?”
It took a moment for him to answer, his eyes growing sadder with every second that passed. “It was Bucky.”
“What?” You felt like the air was knocked out of you. “What do you mean?”
“The Winter Soldier. The assassin who shot Fury. The one who tried killing us on the bridge. It was Bucky. It is Bucky. I saw him, Y/N. I saw his face. It’s him. He survived. When they experimented on him, it must’ve…God, I’m so…I didn’t even notice…I didn’t even check…I left him…” he shook his head, which fell to your shoulder. “Stupid. I’m so stupid.”
“No, no.” You shook your head quickly, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck as you twisted to kiss the hinge of his tense jaw. “It wasn’t your fault, Steve.” You mumbled softly, lips brushing over the shell of his ear. “It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known. He fell thousands of feet, Stevie. You wouldn’t have found him even if you did.”
HIs grip on your hips tightened. “But I didn’t even try.” His voice broke on that last word. “And how could I not notice something going on with him? There were two years between being experimented on and falling. How-?” Voice catching in his throat, he stopped talking to stop himself from crying. You knew he hated crying.
“You can’t do anything about past Bucky.” You reminded him gently. “But you can help him now.”
“He didn’t even remember me.”
“Then make him.”
********************
To say you were pissed was an understatement. “I’ve been doing undercover stuff for years! This is a piece of cake!”
Steve shook his head. “You’ll be more helpful with Hill. You know more about Project Insight than me, Sam, and Natasha.”
“Bullshit, Steven! You just don’t want-”
“Honey, please.”
You clenched your jaw, glaring at him as he gave you those fucking puppy eyes, his dumb pink lips stuck in a pout. Letting out a rather aggressive puff of air, you looked away. “Fine. But I hate you.”
He beamed and nodded. “I can live with that.”
“Okay.” You glanced at the others. “You all ready?”
“Let’s get these sons of bitches.” Sam stated, making the final adjustments to the wings.
Natasha gave a smirk. “As long as you are.”
Turning back to Steve, you raised an eyebrow, waiting for the captain’s orders. He nodded. “Let’s head out.”
****************
“There’s a problem on the flight deck.” Hill informed you, looking at the alert. 
“Alright. I’ll-”
“Stay with Hill!”
You rolled your eyes at Steve’s voice through the comms. “Sorry, Cap. You’re breaking up.”
“I know I’m not, Y/N! I’m serious! Stay there!”
But you were already moving towards the flight deck. “I’m not gonna sit on my ass here, Rogers! Hill’s got it covered! I’m just gonna go check it out!”
“Honey-!”
“Bubba!”
The line went quiet and for a moment you thought you lost connection. “Please stay safe.”
You let out a sigh at his quiet pleads, nodding even though he couldn’t see you. “That goes for you, too, Steve.”
By the time you got out there, most of the jets were in flames, pilots and crew members scattered around the deck. You scanned the wreckage, trying to find the source-
A gunshot made your head whip to the side. Found it. Or, more accurately, him.
He was standing on top of one of the jets, gun pointed down at the pilot that was sitting in it. Before he could slip in the cockpit, though, you took out your gun and fired at him. Even though you knew who he was, when he looked at you it made your blood run cold. It was confirmation - not that you didn’t trust Steve - but still. Seeing is believing. yet seeing the same eyes you’d seen sparkling up at you from pictures now staring you down, void of any emotion? It was hard to believe it was the same person.
“Oh shit. Bubs?”
“What?! What’s wrong?! Are you okay?!”
You took a couple steps back as the Winter Soldier, no. Bucky - Steve’s Bucky - strode towards you. “Uh…nothing, nothing. I just I, uh, found your Bucky.”
“Y/N, get outta there now! I told you to stay with Hill!”
“Fuck!” You dove out of the way as the assassin started shooting at you. “Now’s not the time for reprimanding, Steven!”
You tuned out his cursings so as to not get distracted when you became engaged in a hand-to-hand fight with the fucking Winter Soldier.
“Hi.” You grunted, ducking under his arm and throwing a kick at him, faking it at the last second. Except, he’d already grabbed your ankle. But you did kick him with your other foot. But…he didn’t really move and it made you fall back, so…fail. You let out a grimace when the wind was knocked out of you, but you couldn’t lay there for long as he moved to slam his foot down. You rolled out of the way, swinging your legs up to hit him in the back of the knee. “Nice to finally meet you.”
He growled as Sam exclaimed, “are you seriously chatting with him?”
“It’s mostly one sided - dammit!” The both of you had gotten on your feet again, and you tried hooking your left knee around his left shoulder to tug him down, but he had slammed you against a jet, your leg stretched in a very uncomfortable position as your free foot stood on your toes. He had his metal arm - which no one had informed you about and you were kinda salty about it - against your throat, his other hand coming up in a fist.
Bouncing on your toes a bit, you finally lifted your free leg up to knee him in the side of his face, making you wince slightly at the stretch and the burn in your left thigh, which was the only thing besides his metallic limb holding you up against the jet.
He stumbled to the side, throwing you by the leg on his shoulder. You went sprawling against the pavement, a hiss leaving your lips at the serious roadburn you no doubt just got. Sitting up quickly, not wanting him to get the upper hand, you let out a breath seeing him swiftly moving into the cockpit of the jet he just had you pinned against.
“Guys…he’s…heading your way…just a…heads up. Also…thank you. It was nice…to fucking know…about the metal arm…beforehand. I’m just gonna…rest here for a minute…”
“You’re not hurt too bad, are you?”
“No, Cap. No, just…gonna be aching for a while. Ugh…” Begrudgingly, you got up to your feet. “I think I’m gonna…go back and chill with Maria.”
“Told you so.”
“Shut up, finish your job, and don’t die, Rogers! And next time, please, for the love of God, mention the metal arm!”
****************
****************
****************
All Works Taglist (Open):
@happygoreading​ @bibliophilewednesday​ @breadqueen95​ @marvelettesassemble​ @w-wolfhxrd​
260 notes · View notes
midnight-in-town · 3 years
Text
“Let’s change the things we can change”
Reading Witch Hat Atelier ch43...
Tumblr media Tumblr media
..I can definitely hear Iguin chanting in the distance “thaaaat’s my girl, the Brim Hats’ hope”. 
So yeah anyway, can I say how thematically incredible it is that Coustas’ misery up until this far crossed the path of Coco (a girl who wasn’t born a Witch) and Tartar (a Witch but born with an eye affliction making him unable to be trained the usual way)? Because obviously, as sort of outcasts in their own community, they’re indeed the most likely to challenge the rigid views of such community. 
As we were discussing with @aspoonofsugar​​​, it is very appealing that Shirahama-sensei would finally take the time to address the series’ worldbuilding by, for once, showing that not everyone is born with privilege. Coco and Tartar were the most prominent examples so far, but amongst Witches, while Coustas and by proxy Dagda illustrate an even sadder reality: 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I don’t know for other readers of WHA, but personally, this chapter totally changed my feelings about the first time we met Coustas and Dagda, when they were about to drown in that raging river.
Back then, the focus was more on Agathe and Coco, who were about to help non-Witches for the first time and how difficult it was to protect the secret of their powers. So Coustas clearly endangering himself to retrieve some of his and Dagda’s belongings really struck me as obvious and foolish, only set up to introduce the concept that medicine was indeed Forbidden™ to be practiced along with magic.
Now though, I just can’t picture it in the same way at all. Knowing that Coustas and Dagda are travelers who lived with barely a thing and who lost literally everything because of this incident (leaving Coustas unable to walk and to earn his meals while Dagda started undertaking mercenary jobs to wage enough for both of them), I can only see it as tragic and saddening. T_T
Tumblr media
That being said, it also depicts an even more striking (and grim) picture, considering all the examples we’ve seen so far of young witches who were dumped upon adults’ consideration that “they were not good enough” to honor the same craft. 
Thinking about Agathe here (dumped by her own family), or even Riché (dumped by her first master) and of course Eunie (considered not confident enough and who ended up cursed by the Brim Hats). Meanwhile, we have Dagda the father figure of Coustas, a non-Witch kid, who’d rather endanger himself doing risky work in order to pay for Coustas’ long rehabilitation rather than giving up on him. 
So... isn’t this bitter and unfair? On the one side, the Witches who are indeed privileged compared to people like Dagda and Coustas, but who face a crushing pressure by their peers in order to belong within the magic community, their world all the while being set in stone by rigid rules that no one shall defy. And on the other, people like Coustas who would benefit from breaking said rules, but at the stake of endangering the world’s peace like in previous times. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
As such it wouldn’t surprise me if most of the Brim Hats actually chose this path, specifically because they were victims (in many different and subjective ways) of this unfair world. 
Not that I think them promoting chaos makes them the right side to choose, but clearly if they seem to believe in Coco, it may be because she’s the one who’s eventually best fit to understand all of this, which means there is also a side of truth to learn from their beliefs. 
All that to say that Coco steadily grows and learns: she learns from Qifrey, she learns from the Brim Hats, she learns from Tartar and now she’s learning from Coustas’ circumstances.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
So I can’t help but love her decision to (indirectly) support Tartar’s violation in order to help Coustas, when the Knights Moralis (and so the magic community overall) deemed it all Forbidden™.
WHA is really a very good and deep series. I thought, until I read this chapter, that what kept me to this story was Coco’s and, in parallel, Qifrey’s predicaments with the Brim Hats, but it is without a doubt all related to the worldbuilding and the sad reality that the wonderment of magic seemed to hide from us readers so far.  
I’ll conclude this post by saying that, while I love Coco and Tartar’s mutual decision this chapter, I think it was definitely foreshadowed as risky and will certainly not be an easy feat to achieve. After all...
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
..if this part of the chapter isn’t a metaphor for Coco and Tartar’s current situation, their young knowledge balanced between their magic community and what Coco experienced through the Brim Hats, I don’t know what is. x)
A m a z i n g chapter! Can’t wait for what’s next!
It’s an amazing manga, please give it a try!
345 notes · View notes
Text
If I Go, I’m Goin
Tumblr media
Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader
Words: 1845
Part One
Summary: With the reader’s funeral just days away, the team worries about Reid. Spencer struggles to cope and finds himself going to places he remembers being with you. Inspired by the song If I Go, I’m Goin by Gregory Alan Isakov. 
Notes: I know. I’m mean. 
Warnings: Character death, grief, depression
More Criminal Minds: HERE
-
And the photographs know I’m a liar
They laugh as I burn her down
She wasn’t leaving until he opened the door. J.J. knocked again, this time a little louder than the first. She had given him a day to himself, but now she was worried. It had been less than 48 hours since Y/N died. Everyone was dealing with it differently. Prentiss and Morgan went to the shooting range, Hotch buried himself in paperwork, Penelope was running around trying to fix everything, and Rossi was being, well, Rossi. 
Everyone thought it was a good idea to let Reid be alone for a while, but they didn’t know what J.J. knew. They didn’t know what Y/N had told her that day. Of course, everyone had their suspicions, but J.J, and maybe Penelope, were the only ones that knew that Spence just lost the woman he’d loved for at least the past year. 
The door slowly opened just enough for him to look out. From the little sliver that she could see, he didn’t look well. His eyes were sunken and dark and it looked like he hadn’t changed clothes since the hospital. The sight of his despair nearly brought tears to her eyes. 
“Hey J.J.” 
“Spence.” She greeted, her voice quiet and empathetic. “Can I come in?” 
“Uh, I guess. Sure.” He stepped aside and let her walk past him into his living room. It was strangely well put together. She expected things to be discarded on the floor, for the kitchen sink to be full with dishes. But the only thing that seemed out of place was a single chair facing the window. “Why did you come?” 
“I just wanted to see how you were holding up.” 
“Did Hotch tell you to come see me?” 
“Spence-”
“Because I really don’t need a psych evaluation right now.” He sat down in the chair in front of the window. Honestly, it was where he had been for the hours before J.J. got there. He just sat, looking out like he was waiting for Y/N to come down the street. 
“I came here as a friend, Spencer. Not as an agent.” 
“Oh.” She watched as the previous outburst lost its effect on him and he slumped forward, leaning his head on the glass. It was like watching a wounded animal stop fighting. It broke her heart. 
Spencer didn’t say anything else. When J.J. asked him a question, he responded with either a silent nod or a quiet mumble. Eventually, there was nothing else she could say. 
“We’re all here, Spence.” She put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “If you need anything before the funeral…” The last word nearly caught in her throat. Funeral. J.J. kept a steady appearance, leaning over and kissing the top of his head. “Bye Spence.” 
He didn’t say anything as the door closed behind her. He didn’t even look back. Spencer kept his gaze out the window and watched J.J. get in her car and drive away. He must have sat there for a few more hours because by the time he finally moved, it was dark out.  
He forced himself to stand and walk back to his room so he could take a much needed shower. Seeing his still made bed made his stomach twist. His mind conjured the image of a quiet morning, none in particular, where he laid with her. He laid with Y/N in his arms as the sun peeked through the windows. Just as quickly as it had come, the vision left, returning the room to its original empty state. 
Spencer moved through his apartment aimlessly, his body moving before his mind could catch up. His thoughts were far away, trapped in those woods with the constant sound of an arrow cracking through bone. It cracked through his chest, leaving only a painful ache. He stepped into the shower with his clothes still on. 
-
This old house, she’s quite the keeper
Quite the keeper of you
He was there before anyone else, sitting in the dim light by himself for nearly an hour. When Hotch quietly trudged to his office, he stopped suddenly, seeing the form sitting at his desk. 
“Reid?” He flipped on the main lights and looked warily at the young agent. While he didn’t show it, Hotch noticed Reid’s disheveled appearance and blank expression. “What are you doing here?” 
“I wanted to do some paperwork,” Reid replied, keeping his eyes trained in front of him. Hotch set his briefcase down. 
“I told the team to take a few days off.”
“You’re here.” 
“I have to deal with…” He trailed off, dreading the report sitting on his desk. Reid nodded, still not entirely paying attention to his supervisor. 
“Right.” He continued to slowly tap his pen against the surface of his desk. Hotch knew that the psych evals weren’t until after everyone came back, but Reid was worrying him. Grabbing his briefcase, he kept a close eye on him as he went to his office. 
Spencer stared at the desk across from him. 
“Come on, there has to be something that you don’t know.” You challenged, chewing absentmindedly on the cap of your pen. Normally he would remark on how many germs were on the average pen, but when you did it, he thought it was cute. 
“Of course there are things I don’t know, I just don’t talk about them because I don’t know them well enough to talk about them.” 
“I bet you can’t name every character in Star Wars.” 
“Alphabetically or in order of appearance.” He smirked smugly. 
He blinked and the memory was gone. Y/N was gone and the emptiness returned. Spencer stood up, wanting to find something that would conjure another image of her. He wandered aimlessly around the office, slowly weaving in between desks. He opened the drawers of her old desk, but they had already been emptied. Her parents must have already cleaned it out. 
Right. Her parents were here. He’d almost forgotten. They were here for the… 
Somehow, he found himself standing in the break room in front of the empty coffee maker. He made himself a pot, not really thinking about his motions as he put the grounds in the filter and poured the water. It wasn’t until he imagined her hand on his arm that he felt anything at all. 
“What are you doing?” He asked, an amused smile playing at his lips. 
“I’m dancing.” You twirled to the other side of him, your playful laugh filling the small room. 
“There isn’t any music playing.” 
“Who said you need music to dance, Spence?” You took his hands and spun into him, giggling relentlessly. “Come on, dance with me.” 
“Are you crazy? We’re at work.” He tried to sound stern, but he just laughed instead. 
“So? Nobody will see us.” You put a hand on his shoulder and moved his arm around your waist. You both swayed to the music in your mind, your hearts somehow playing the same song. For a moment, you forgot where you were. You forgot that there was another horrific case awaiting you in the conference room and all that existed was you and the man that held you. 
“Hey Y/N.”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.” It seemed now that the two of you were swaying to the sounds of your heartbeats. You blinked up at him, surprised at first, but soon a bright smile spread across your face. 
“I love you too.” 
This vision faded slower than the last, Y/N’s face staying until the last possible moment. His arms ached from the emptiness, his feet rocking back and forth like he was dancing all on his own. 
“Reid.” Hotch’s voice halted the music in his mind. His voice was grimmer, almost sadder than it was before. “Are you ready to go?” 
“Go?” He read Hotch’s expression. “Oh. Right. That’s today.” Hotch nodded and stood aside so Reid could pass by. 
“I’ll drive you home so you can change.” 
-
If I go, I’m goin crazy
Let my darlin take me there
It was a perfectly nice day, making him even more sick to his stomach. The sun was out and clouds lazily drifted across the sky. He wished it would have rained. At least then, the world would look like he felt; colorless and dark. 
Y/N’s parents both shared a few words and Penelope did the eulogy. Spencer was sure it was nice, but he couldn’t focus enough to really hear any of the words. Hotch kept a close eye on him, though he tried not to be obvious about it. Spencer felt like everyone was watching him, waiting for his numb exterior to break. He knew they meant well, but he’d appreciate it if they were a little more subtle about it. 
Somehow, the ceremony felt both eternal and over too quickly. Before he had even moved to put his rose on the coffin, it seemed like everyone was leaving. Maybe it was just him; frozen in time until he could bring himself to step forward. It still felt like everyone was staring at him. How many people even knew about him and Y/N? Maybe everyone, at this point. They were profilers after all and he hadn’t been abundantly subtle on that last case. 
That last case. 
Suddenly the rose in his hand was an arrow, bloody and splintered at one end. It fell between his fingers and hit the grass as a flower again. A petal fell off and he held it to his lips. Was he going insane? Was this what it would be like from now on? Everything reminding him of that last moment with her? With the blood and the arrow and the screaming? 
With a slow, shaky hand, he placed the rose on the coffin. Someone put their hand on top of his, but when he turned, there wasn’t anyone there and suddenly, he felt something… peaceful. Something that told him that all he would need to remember were the good things. The smiles. The laughter. The dances in the breakroom. Despite every logical impulse in his mind, every scientific fact he knew by memory, he knew. It was her. Y/N.
Finally, he started to cry. The numbness was gone and allowed for emotion to finally come to light. Sobs shook his body and nearly made his knees buckle, but he made himself stand. He ran his fingers over the gleaming surface of the coffin and cried. 
“I love you. I’ll always love you.” 
He must have stood there like that for at least an hour, if not several, but when he turned around, he found his team- his family- waiting there for him. And they walked away together, always to remember the member that they lost. A friend. A sister. A lover. And Spencer would never forget you, as long as he lived. 
I will go if you ask me to
I will stay if you dare
-
General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216​
Requested Tag: @ lolalee24; @ haylaansmi; @ obsssedwithjustaboutanything;
182 notes · View notes
Note
Haii so i have a promot for you, it’s stuckony and it’s based around a carrie Underwood song called “ Renegade Runaway “
So basically Steve and Bucky are outlaw, who rob trains, banks, and gamble
Tony is a sharffes and teacher kid, who is also one hell of a gunslinger (like Doc holiday,bat masterson, and Wyatt earp), he’s also a blacksmith
Also happy early birthday! 💙
Thank you for the birthday wishes! This ended up being a lot sadder than I originally intended and I wasn't able to include everything, but I hope it still lives up to expectations!
As always, this fic is also on ao3
~
Tony has his pistol out almost before the door closes behind him. He peers into the darkness of the yard behind the smithy, silently complaining about his eyes taking too long to adjust from the bright fires to the gathering twilight. It puts him at a disadvantage for whoever is waiting out there for him.
“Aw darlin’, is that any way to greet your two favorite outlaws?” someone drawls.
Tony snorts and holsters the pistol again. “Two outlaws, you might be, but my favorites? Far from it,” he snarks.
Bucky Barnes steps into the light spilling out from the window, hand dramatically placed over his heart. “Tony, that cuts me to the quick. Really, the cruelty of your words, they break my heart.”
“Uh-huh,” Tony says, unimpressed. He turns his back on Bucky and locks the smithy door. Peter will leave through the front when he’s finished sweeping and extinguished the lights. Everything else is already stored in the backroom for the night, so there’s no reason he needs to worry about leaving the door unlocked, though he certainly could. Timely isn’t the sort of town that invites trouble, not like some of the lawless towns further west.
When he turns back around, Bucky has moved closer, nearly looming over him. Tony leans back against the door, letting Bucky press against him. Bucky will do it anyway, it’s easier to just give in to him now instead of putting up a fight they both know he doesn’t want.
“You gonna apologize for bein’ so mean?” Bucky breathes into his ear.
“No,” Tony says flatly, crossing his arms. “It’s the honest truth.”
It’s not. Nearly everyone in Timely knows Tony’s sweet on Bucky and his partner, who must be around here somewhere since Bucky mentioned both of them. But it wouldn’t do to be too easy for them. He’s not one of Natasha’s girls after all, giggly and flirtatious and willing to turn their skirts up for a little bit of coin. He likes to make his boys work to get him soft and smiling.
“Now that’s just an outright lie,” someone else says. Tony turns his head to see Steve’s bright blue eyes much closer than he’d expected given that he’d only sensed one of them in the yard earlier. “You love us.”
“Don’t,” Tony denies, turning his head in the other direction so he doesn’t have to see either of them. Steve may be right, Tony isn’t nearly as annoyed by them as he pretends, but loving the two of them makes his life so very hard that it’s easier to pretend he doesn’t have any feelings for them.
“Tony,” Steve murmurs.
Tony stubbornly refuses to look at them. These two outlaws waltz into town all too rarely, typically on the heels of some mess that’ll raise the rewards on their heads yet again, and turn Tony’s life upside down for the brief time they’re in Timely, only to break his heart when they inevitably leave. Sometimes, he wishes he’d never met them.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he whispers eventually, keeping his eyes fixed on the side of the saloon down the street. “The sheriff’s in town tonight. If he catches wind of you—you know Howard wants to be the one to bring you in.”
“Your father’s on a wild goose chase, honey,” Bucky says. “He got word we were hiding out in Howling Canyon.”
“Are you?”
“Do we look like we’re in Howling Canyon?” Steve asks amusedly.
“No. I meant when you’re not—” He stops, biting back the last few words. When they’re not in his bed, he means, but he can’t bring himself to say that. After an awkward pause, he finishes, “When you’re not in town.”
“No,” Steve assures him. “We’re staying—”
“Don’t tell me where,” Tony interrupts, finally turning back to look at them. They both look worried, and he wonders if they know how tired he is of this game they’ve been playing for five years. “You know I’ll have to tell Howard if he asks.”
Not that Howard would. The sheriff is one of the few people who doesn’t know that his son houses the two outlaws when they’re in Timely. He couldn’t even imagine that his son would dare defy him under his nose like that. But both Steve and Bucky know what happens when Tony doesn’t jump to Howard’s every order. They were the ones who took him to Dr. Banner’s after all, after Howard broke his arm for taking too long to finish the horseshoes for Jericho.
Steve’s eyes are stormy at the reminder of Howard’s wrath. Bucky’s mouth is set in a tight line. Neither of them approve of Howard. They’ve told Tony once before that they would take him away from here if only he would let them. But he won’t. There’s too much keeping him in Timely: his mother and Rhodey, even young Peter, who’s only been apprenticed to him for a few months. He can’t just go gallivanting off into the sunset, no matter how badly he wants to. And besides, he knows that the only reason they ask is so that he can get away from Howard. He doesn’t delude himself there. They’d let him go with them just out of range of Howard’s reach and then they’d cut him loose. It’s pity that makes them ask, not—not anything else.
“Just—” He sighs and ducks out from under Bucky’s arm. “Come on. Howard isn’t stupid. He’ll figure out you’re not in Howling Canyon eventually, and I’d like both your cocks at least once before he does.”
~
Tony once had aspirations of being one of the best gunslingers in the west. He had the best aim this side of the Mississippi and he was quick. He’d been planning on making a name for himself, same as his father had.
Bucky’s bullet through his left thigh had put an end to that dream real quick.
He’d been young—hardly even an adult—foolhardy, and unwilling to listen to Jarvis’ warnings that he wasn’t ready to take on Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, who’d been terrorizing the towns in their small territory for the last three years. He’d been so convinced that he would be the one to bring them in and collect on the bounty. He’d studied their movements, known how they thought, and when Timely had gotten word that the two outlaws had robbed a bank in Faircreek, he’d ridden off on his own toward Harshaw instead of Tombstone like all the evidence pointed to.
He’d been right; the trail to Tombstone had been a false one. But he hadn’t had long to rest on his laurels because he’d been noticed. Steve and Bucky hadn’t been as lax in their vigilance as he’d assumed and they’d lain in wait for him, ambushed him, and ultimately shot him.
To this day, he doesn’t know what drove the two outlaws to take him in instead of leaving him out there to die in the desert, but they had. They’d carefully nursed him back to health, taken care of him when his injury had led to fever, and eventually, after nearly two months together, brought him to their bed with sweet words and sweeter kisses. He’d thought he would have done anything for them after that night, but the next morning, they’d sent him back on his way to Timely with nothing more than a promise that they’d be dropping in to check on him. It had been kind, though the damage had already been done. Tony’s injury ensured he’d never be the gunslinger he’d once dreamt of and his heart had been shattered. He’d apprenticed with Happy, taken up blacksmithing as a trade, and moved out of his parents’ home and into a small house not far from the smithy as his bad leg kept him from walking any great distances.
And when Bucky and Steve had kept their promise and stopped by his house to see him, well, his resolve to send them packing had withered. He’d made sure no one had noticed them and welcomed them inside, his poor heart still beating against his ribs in the pattern of their names.
~
They love him, he thinks, or at least they love him as best as they can, which is to say they don’t love him as much as he loves them. They certainly don’t love him enough to take him with them. And he understands—he does, despite what Rhodey thinks. His bad leg is a hindrance to outlaws such as themselves, particularly when it isn’t like they have a home base they could leave him out while they go out to commit whatever crime has struck their fancy. No, they’ve been nomads for as long as Tony has known them, never tied down to any one place, and he’s grateful that they at least love him enough to stay in this area instead of moving on to greener pastures.
He checks that the street is clear and then hurries them into his home. It’s changed slightly since the last time Steve and Bucky were in Timely. Pepper gifted him with a rug to go in front of the fireplace six months ago and Peter’s aunt made him a series of sketches of the view from the top of Howling Canyon that he hung in the kitchen. But other than that, the house is much the same as it’s always been, and he isn’t surprised when neither Steve nor Bucky pay any attention to the changes in favor of following him to the bedroom.
They strip him in silence, hands so gentle he’d call them reverent if he didn’t know any better. But he does know better. They don’t love him enough to be reverent. Reverence is saved for each other, for how Steve looks at Bucky in the early dawn when he thinks they’re both still sleeping, for Bucky saving Steve an extra cup of coffee, for the way they know how to tack each other’s horses just as well as they know their own. Reverence isn’t saved for him.
But he treats themreverently. He’s always treated them that way, since the night they took him to their bed. He’s never known any other way to love. They had been his first, the ones to ruin him for all others, and a small part of him hates them for that even as he kisses them hungrily, savoring these few moments he gets to spend with them.
He goes to his knees for them, worships Bucky’s cock with his mouth while Steve undresses, then lays down for Steve to open him up. He lets them fuck him, moans their names while they whisper praises in his ear, and pretends that this is enough, that he doesn’t want more. He imagines it though, imagines Steve lifting him onto Nomad and following Bucky out of town, never to return.
Bucky falls asleep when they’re done—he always does—so Steve is the one who stands and finds a washcloth from somewhere in the house. He wipes the three of them off and then lays down on his side, facing Tony.
“You’re sad tonight,” he says quietly.
“No,” Tony denies. He doesn’t want them to know that he wants more, that he’d do just about anything to get it. They’ll only feel bad that they can’t give him what he wants, like it’s any fault of theirs.
“You are,” Steve insists. “You try to hide it, but you are.”
“Steve…”
“I won’t ask you.” Steve’s own eyes are sad as he reaches out to run delicate fingers over Tony’s face. “I know you wouldn’t tell me anyway. That’s okay; you’re entitled to your secrets, sweetheart.”
There’s something terribly earnest in Steve’s expression, something that Tony doesn’t think he’s seen before. And he’s so close to blurting it out, begging Steve for something he can’t have. He swallows the words back with difficulty and asks instead, ���What did you two do this time?”
Steve shrugs as best as he can. “A train.”
“A—” Tony stills. “You didn’t. Steve, you couldn’t. You’ll bring the Marshals down on your heads.”
“Had to,” Steve says casually. “Was the only way to get enough.”
“Enough what?”
“Gold,” Bucky says from behind him, startling him.
It takes a moment for the word to sink in, but his breath comes faster as he realizes just what they’ve done. “You didn’t,” he repeats, sitting up. He scrambles to the end of the bed, as far away from Steve and Bucky as he can get. The outlaws sit up as well, leaning against the headboard as they watch him warily. “What were the two of you thinking? No, don’t answer that. I know exactly what you were thinking: you weren’t. Because if you were, you would have known better. Forget the Marshals, you’ll bring the whole damn army down on your heads. How could you have been so stupid?”
“We were thinking we’d like to get a house,” Steve says, cutting him off.
“A—a house?”
“Mmhmm,” Bucky agrees. “We found ourselves a little patch of land in California we’d like to settle down in. Needed one last robbery to get us enough money to buy it.”
Tony’s heart stops beating, he swears it does. “California,” he repeats faintly.
“Sure, they’ll never think to look for us in California.”
Bucky sounds so calm, as though he can’t see that Tony’s heart is breaking in front of them. How can he be so cruel? How can he just causally mention that they’re leaving him forever, as though the last five years mean nothing to them?
“When are you leaving?” he manages, and it shocks him how calm he sounds when he feels as though his grief is visible from the stars.
“Tomorrow,” Steve says. There’s something careful in the way he looks at Tony, like he at least might have some idea of what’s going through Tony’s head.
Tony repeats, “Tomorrow.” He nods, blinking furiously to try to clear his eyes of the treacherous tears he can feel welling up. He can’t let them know. They’re leaving tomorrow and he doesn’t want them to go. He knows it would have happened eventually. The lawless west is shrinking more and more each day. It’s only a matter of time before the law catches up to them. Their only option is to leave and go somewhere no one knows them. But does it have to be so soon? He’d thought they would have more time.
“So this is goodbye, then,” he says, twisting the bedcovers in his hands. He can’t look at them, too afraid they’ll know what’s racing through his head if he does.
“…Goodbye?” Steve asks. He sounds puzzled. Tony hates that. What right does he have to be confused? That’s for Tony, seeing as how he’s the one who’s been left out of the loop during all this. God above, how long have they been planning this? It must have been at least a year in the making.
“Yes, goodbye,” he says. “One last fuck to see you off, right?”
“One last… Tony,” Bucky says sharply, “do you think we’re plannin’ on leavin’ you here?”
Tony’s heart stops for the second time in as many minutes. “You’re not?” he asks, daring to peek at them. Steve looks horrified, Bucky thunderous as he leans forward to tug Tony into his arms. Tony doesn’t resist, too tired of pretending, too confused by the twists this conversation has taken to argue. Steve curls up against Bucky’s side, carding gentle fingers through Tony’s hair.
“Sweetheart, did you think we weren’t gone on you?” Steve asks, kissing his forehead. “We’ve been fallin’ for you since you figured out where we were goin’ and chased us down.”
“But you never asked me to come with you.”
“S’pose that’s my fault,” Bucky says gruffly. He gingerly touches the scar on Tony’s leg where Bucky’s bullet had ripped through him. “We saw how much pain you were in an’ we couldn’t bear to make it any worse. An’ that’s just what would have happened if you’d spent every night out there with us. We wanted to keep you safe, thought you’d be happier if you weren’t always in pain.”
“I wanted you,” Tony says, pressing a kiss to the underside of Bucky’s jaw. “I didn’t want to be left behind.”
“Yeah, we, uh, we get that now,” Steve mutters sheepishly. “Tony, say you’ll come with us this time. Don’t make us go off on our own this time. We want you to come, can’t imagine a future that doesn’t have you in it.”
He should argue. He should remind them that in the five years they’ve been riding off and leaving him at home, he’s built a life. He has a business and an apprentice and a little house that he likes. He’s not the wide-eyed child he once was, dreaming of adventure. But then, neither are Steve and Bucky, if they really do mean that they’re going to get to California and settle down.
“Darlin’?”
~
The next morning, Peter arrives at the smithy to find the backdoor locked and the fire cold. He frowns; it’s not like Tony to still be home at this hour. He turns on his heel and heads to Tony’s house. It’s as dark as the smithy is though it doesn’t look like anything is out of place.
Tony is nowhere to be seen. He wonders for an instant if Tony spent the night at Rhodey’s, as he sometimes does when it’s been too long between Steve and Bucky’s visits (though Peter isn’t supposed to know anything about the outlaws). He turns to leave, planning on heading over to Rhodey’s to ask if he’s seen Tony this morning, only to catch a glimpse of something on the kitchen table, glinting in the early morning sunlight pouring in from the door.
Curious, he wanders over to find a single gold coin—and a letter addressed to him. Peter immediately pockets the coin and then opens the letter. It’s written in Tony’s messy scrawl and he reads it eagerly, hoping it’ll tell him where Tony’s gone.
Peter,
I hope you’ve spotted this. The coin is for you. Under the bed, there’s a pouch full of more coins, but those are for Happy. They should be enough to drag Happy out of the quiet life to finish your apprenticeship. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay, but it was time to move on.
If anyone asks where I’ve gone, tell them I’ve run away to California.
Tony
138 notes · View notes
monicashipslokius · 3 years
Text
Soulmates Actually Pt 5 (of 6)
(Read Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/Part 4)
Loki drags their hands up Mobius’s front, palms flat against his chest, pressing wrinkles into his white shirt. At Mobius’s shoulders, Loki slides their fingers under Mobius’s suit jacket and eases down Mobius’s arms. Mobius straightens his elbows, and the jacket falls unceremoniously to the floor, a dark mark on the beige carpeting. The green tie quickly follows.
Mobius watches Loki with a hooded, passion-filled gaze as their deft fingers open the buttons of his shirt, one after the next, before it too falls down to the floor.
When Loki’s hands finally touch bare skin, they are desperate for it. They follow the path made when Mobius was clothed, up his chest, over his shoulders.
“Loki,” Mobius says, voice caught somewhere between a whisper and a moan.
Loki wraps their arms around Mobius’s waist and pulls him closer. Loki is wearing their silk sleep-shirt, but the fabric is so thin they can still feel the heat of Mobius’s skin against their own.
Loki drops a kiss to Mobius’s bare shoulder, a line across his clavicle, and then up the side of his neck. Mobius tilts his head away, giving Loki more access.
Mobius’s fingers dance up the length of Loki’s arms. He clutches Loki’s shoulders a moment, bunching the nightshirt as Loki bites gently at the soft spot behind Mobius’s ear.
“I want to do this right,” Mobius says. “It’s right for me, but is it right for you?”
Loki hums, trailing a path of kisses to Mobius’s lips before claiming them. Loki pulls away too soon, and smiles when Mobius leans forward, following them. “You are doing perfectly.”
Another kiss. Two. “Not too fast?”
Loki pulls away again, only so far as to look Mobius in the eye so he will know the depth of their feeling as they say, “If I do not have you this moment, I will burst.”
Mobius laughs, and Loki’s heart swells with new, unknown feeling - pride, happiness, unconditional affection. Mobius has won startled laughs from Loki many times but never the other way around. Mobius’s eyes sparkle with delight, with interest and joy and some pride of his own.
Loki wonders if this is what love feels like.
“Not too fast then.” Mobius’s smile lingers.
“No.”
“Good,” Mobius says, and gives Loki a shove.
Loki, caught unawares, falls back onto the bed. “Mobius!” Immediate they are on their elbows, watching Mobius step closer, up to the bed, in the open space between Loki’s legs.
Heart racing at the potential, blissful implications, Loki attempts to keep cool and lifts one lone brow. “My soulmate is feeling bold, I see.”
As Mobius’s hands reach for the waistband of Loki’s sleep-pants, Loki gathers all of their willpower not to whimper out, please. Despite their efforts, it still erupts from their throat, a cut off, strangled sound of desperation that makes Mobius’s smile grow into a shark-like grin.
“Your soulmate,” he says, dropping to his knees, “intends to worship their mischievous god.”
Loki has been in many sexy situations across the centuries, but never in their very long life have they ever felt this much longing, this much lust -
No, more than lust. Desire coupled with affection, wrapped up in...
“Mobius.”
At the first whispered touch, Loki’s thoughts frizzle out, and they do not return for a long, long time.
*
The apartment’s dark, lit only from the dim starlight peeking through the sheer curtains and the flashing clock on the microwave that neither of them set properly.
Loki’s cheek is pressed to Mobius’s bare chest, their ear over Mobius’s heart, listening to the strong, steady rhythm. Mobius’s breath is slow and deep; he fell asleep hours ago. But Loki, even with their body pleasantly exhausted and their desire temporarily sated, lies awake.
They count Mobius’s heartbeats, but hold their breath for the space between them. Humans are fragile things with such short lifespans. Fifty seems so young, but for Mobius, that is already over half his life.
“I think I should retire,” Mobius said earlier, over dinner. “I’ve worked since I was sixteen. Saved and saved. I’ve got enough investments to see us through for a good long while.”
“You love your work,” Loki said, half-hoping they hid the hope in their voice successfully enough to appear supportive.
Mobius laughed, happy and fond, which perhaps was a reveal all its own. “If I dropped dead right now, they would replace me tomorrow.” He stabbed his fork through a green bean, but he might as well stabbed Loki through the heart. His gaze on the food, he didn’t appear to notice. “It’s not personal. It’s a good company. They’ve treated me well over the years. But... that’s just how jobs work. I don’t know. I have more to live for now than just that. And we can afford it.” He laughed again, softer and sadder. “I want to at least have a few years where I can keep up with you.”
“I won’t leave you behind,” Loki said, and they could hear their own desperation.
Mobius finally looked up at Loki, and even though he smiled, he could not hide the gentle heartache in his eyes. “I’m no spring chicken, Loki. Eventually -”
“Do not finish that thought, Mobius M. Mobius.”
“I’m just saying that -”
“I know what you are ‘just saying’ and I will not hear it. I will not leave you behind, and that is the end of the discussion.”
Mobius’s brows lifted high, and Loki expected further argument. But per usual, Mobius subverted all expectations and laughed again, as happy and fond as before.
“If anyone can figure out a way to cheat death, it’s you,” he said then.
He snores a little now. His arms clutch Loki closer, even in sleep. And Loki renews their vow, quiet in the dark.
“Nothing will take you from me.”
*
Mobius puts in his two week notice the next day.
The photo of his office building that he kept on the dresser gets replaced with one of he and Loki together - much of the wall space in their apartment does too. Their smiling faces greet them at every turn.
Perhaps it’s narcissistic, Loki wonders, to have that many pictures of them in their own home, but Loki is so unaccustomed to their own happiness, it is like looking at a stranger.
When they tell Mobius, Mobius smiles and kisses them. He doesn’t reply with words, but he does get that far away look in his eye, the one that appears when his joints are too stiff in the morning, or when he wakes up from having fallen asleep on the recliner without having meant to, or when he looks in the mirror at his gray hair and promises Loki, “I used to be blond.”
And though he never says, I want you to have something to remember me by, Loki can hear the words as loudly as if he shouted them.
Mobius taps his finger on the top of the dresser, near the framed photo of his parents. “You know, I only have this one picture of them. Forty years with them in my life, of phone calls and Christmas cards, too few visits. All of it down to one picture and a bunch of fuzzy memories.”
Loki stands beside him, glancing briefly at the photo before staring at Mobius, at the far away look, and the rare-sadness tilting down his mouth. Yet before they can think of something that would bring some measure of comfort, Mobius turns to Loki and says, “Let’s go on vacation.”
Surprise replaces worry, and Loki glances at the smiling photo of Mobius on his jetski. “A lovely idea,” Loki says, and offers a small grin. “I believe I was promised a trip to the ocean as recompense for surrendering dominion over this realm.”
Mobius wide smile returns, and Loki’s grows in victory.
“A man should keep his promises,” Mobius says, and they start making plans.
*
Two weeks pass, and Mobius's last day at work comes and goes.
“You’ll be sick of me in a week,” Mobius says the first day off, but after a week, and then two after that, Loki cannot get enough of their time together.
During the day, he and Loki talk and go for walks and watch the soap operas Loki pretends to only like ironically but secretly loves.
“Is that Georgina or Regina?” Mobius asks.
Loki, an expert after weeks of indulgence, can easily identify one twin from another. “That’s Georgina. Regina has the beauty mark above her lip.”
During the night (and sometimes during the day too), they lose themselves in each other. Without draining himself at work all day, Mobius has more energy to properly worship his mischievous god, and though Loki will never admit it aloud, they do some worshiping too, of their foolhardy mortal.
Their precious, fragile human.
The longer they are together, the more perfectly matched they seem. And Loki, who has never been in love before, begins to allow himself a moment of soft wonder.
Loki remembers their first touch, the spliced visions of their future, and the way Mobius said, I love you. Again and again, a thousand times in one moment. Loki begins to wish for that... to crave it.
Sometimes they wonder what Mobius saw during the vision. Did Loki say it to him?
They have no idea how to ask without giving themself away.
*
The night before their trip to California, Mobius and Loki pack clothes into a pair of suitcases. At first they had attempted to share a single suitcase, but quickly deemed that an unwise decision.
“I don’t understand why you need so many clothes,” Mobius said, as his ‘half’ of the suitcase shrank down a considerable margin. “Can’t you just magic your outfit whenever you want?”
“You always wear that same drab suit, despite all the others we procured for you, despite no longer being required to wear it for work,” Loki replied. “Surely that portion of the suitcase is enough for one suit.”
Mobius looked down at the brown suit he currently wore, and though his smile remained, a small line formed between his brow. Loki knew instantly they had pushed too far.
So they cleared their throat and said, “Or perhaps I am doing my best to ensure you spend most of the trip naked.”
Mobius laughed and his brow smoothed out. “Alright, alright. I’ll get another suitcase,” he said, without further prompting.
Now, Mobius carefully folds yet another white shirt as he lowers it down onto the perfectly aligned pile of five exact copies. “I’ve been thinking.”
“A dangerous prospect,” Loki says, tossing a few shirts into their own suitcase. “One that usually ends in anxiety for me.” They say it as a joke. They do not expect Mobius’s quiet in return.
Worried there might still be lingering hurt from the suit remark, Loki shifts all attention to Mobius, and finds him a tangle of tension and uncertainty.
“Mobius?”
“Maybe it’s not a good idea.” He unfolds and refolds the same shirt. Twice. “Forget I said anything.”
Loki reaches out, takes the shirt from Mobius hands, and lowers it. Then they take Mobius’s hands and turn him toward them. When Mobius’s gaze drifts off toward the kitchen, Loki laces their fingers together and squeezes his hands gently.
“Good or not, I should hear your idea,” Loki says. “I enjoy knowing all of your thoughts.”
Mobius shifts his glance briefly to the photo of his parents on the dresser. “Even if it’s something that might cause you anxiety?”
Loki traces their thumb over Mobius’s. “I believe not knowing would be substantially worse.”
Finally, Mobius looks at them. “Yeah, okay.” He presses his lips hard together as he studies Loki’s face.
The longer the silence lasts, the more worry coils around Loki’s chest until they  feels as if they might explode just from anticipation of -
“I think we should invite your family to our vacation.”
Loki blinks. Waits for the punchline.
For surely Mobius is jesting.
Instead, Mobius winces. “Now that’s a look.”
“You... aren’t jesting.” Loki tries to imagine Odin standing on a sandy Californian beach, but the image is so outrageous, their mind cannot conjure it.
“Look, I know it’s a bad idea. And we can go ahead and never talk about it after this, but...” He glances again at the photo of his parents, and the heartbroken look returns to his eyes. “Too few visits.”
Only one picture.
There are no pictures of Loki’s family. Mobius offered to print a fuzzy photo of Thor from the internet but Loki refused.
“I’m not saying we invite your dad, I know that’s...” Mobius gives Loki’s hands a gentle, supportive squeeze. “But what about Thor? I promised him a jetski ride.” A pause, then softer, “What about your mom?”
Loki can imagine Thor acting a buffoon on a sandy beach - building a sand-Asgard (or attempting to - Loki’s would be infinitely better), racing Mobius on jetskis, swimming out too far and having to use Mjolnir to fly back to safety.
Oddly, Loki can also imagine Frigga, perched on a lounge chair under an umbrella, flipping through pages of a book. She would be the judge of their theoretical sand-Asgard competition and would undoubtedly deem them equal, regardless of actual merit.
“There’s that smile,” Mobius says, drawing Loki back to the now, away from the beach and to their small apartment in Dubuque. “Maybe not such a bad idea after all?”
Hope burns hot in Loki’s chest, even as they say, “They’d never agree, even if we could find a way to invite them.”
“I don’t believe that,” Mobius says, and his confidence further brightens Loki’s hope. He tilts his head. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I’d never complain about having you all to myself.” He surely aims for a smile, and he gets one. “But... would it be okay if we tried?”
They’ll say no, Loki knows. They’ll never show. But blind hope has them nod their head, just once.
“Great.” Mobius lifts one of Loki’s hands and kisses the back of it. Then he releases them both and steps into the middle of the apartment.
“What are you doing?” Loki asks.
Mobius winks, then lifts his gaze to the ceiling. “Um, hi?” He furrows his brow and glances at Loki. “What was his name again? The guy who’s always watching? Helmdell?”
“Heimdall,” Loki says, “But I’m not sure he’ll appreciate playing messenger for such a silly request.”
“Come on,” Mobius says. “Guy is probably up there all day dealing with huge crises. He might appreciate something lighter for a change. Plus, if anything goes wrong, we can just blame the ignorant human.” He points his thumb to himself.
That this silly human man is so casually willing to bother a god with a party invitation has Loki want to hide their own face in embarrassment and also cover Mobius’s in kisses.
What an impossible fool.
“Mister Heimdall, sir?” Mobius says to the ceiling. “I’m sorry to bother you, I know you're busy. But if you could please let Loki’s mom and brother know that they are invited to come to our vacation in Malibu tomorrow? For a week? If they want to? I’d appreciate it. Uh, thank you.” He lowers his head, frowns, and lifts it again. “You can come too.”
“Mobius,” Loki hisses.
“He can come,” Mobius tells them as he returns to their side. In a whisper, he says, “We can’t be rude.”
Only the most extreme level of willpower keeps Loki from rolling their eyes. “If you were worried about rudeness, you should have invited my... the All-Father.”
Mobius’s smile slips. “No.”
It’s such a sudden turnabout that Loki’s brain goes quiet a moment.
“I’m sorry, Loki. If you want him there, of course, we can invite him, but listening to you talk about him. Even right now, did you hear yourself? You called him ‘All-Father,’ not Dad or Pops or even Odin. So formal. And look at you.” He grabs Loki by the elbows and jostles them a bit, and Loki realizes how tense they’ve been. “Coiled up like a spring about to pop. If this is what just mentioning him does to you, I don’t want that guy anywhere near you.”
Loki loosens as Mobius trails his hands to their shoulders.
“He may be displeased at not being invited,” Loki says.
“We’ll deal with that rainbow bridge when we cross it.”
Mobius rubs Loki’s shoulders, and Loki closes their eyes, putty in his hands.
“You cause infinite trouble for me, soulmate,” Loki says.
Mobius chuckles. “Yeah, but you like trouble. Keeps things interesting.” Mobius’s fingers dig into tight muscle, and Loki lets out a soft, relaxed sigh. “That’s why Regina’s your favorite.”
Loki’s eyes snap open. “She is not.”
“She’s the mischief-maker.”
“No, I assure you, she is far from my favorite. Her plans are so poorly executed that even Claudio, besotted as he constantly is over Georgina, catches wise of her almost instantly. She insults the name of mischief.”
“Maybe. But they wouldn’t have a show without her. She’s the only one who does anything.”
“No, you simply have not watched enough episodes...” Loki stops themself short and stands suddenly taller. “I know what you're doing.”
“Oh?”
“You are attempting to distract me.”
Mobius hums, and his little smile turns 100% smug. “It worked too, didn’t it?”
It did, and Loki is both infuriated and endeared at once. “How do you do this to me?”
Mobius shrugs. “You’re pretty easy to rile up.”
“That’s not what I mean, I -” They stop themself again, realizing they were about to admit to... feelings. Dangerous feelings. They swallow down the words they want to say, and say instead, “You infuriate me, Mobius.”
“Yeah,” Mobius says, “But you like that too.”
Loki does. All powers in the cosmos help them, they absolutely do.
They are as besotted with Mobius as Claudio is with Georgina. No, more so.
Mobius is so earnest and good and kind, and cares so much about Loki and Loki’s happiness, that even though Loki is annoyed, they still lean forward and kiss Mobius quick on the mouth.
Mobius closes his eyes for the kiss, then takes his time opening them again. He looks at Loki like they’re the brightest star in the sky, and Loki, chest swollen with an unfamiliar emotion that washes away all annoyance, even the faked kind, pulls Mobius into their arms and kisses him again, more properly.
Overwhelmed with warmth, Loki swoops Mobius up into their arms, mouth pressed against Mobius’s laugh, and carries him to the bed.
In the end, both suitcases end up on the floor, overturned, contents spread out all over, Mobius’s many shirts no longer perfectly folded. The one he was wearing will need some serious mending, buttons all ripped off. The pants are too torn to be salvageable.
Mobius holds Loki close and places soft kiss after soft kiss along their hairline. The space between one and the next lengthens until eventually they stop altogether.
With Mobius’s breath slow and steady in sleep, Loki leans to Mobius’s ear and whispers, “I think that I... I love you.”
*
“They aren’t going to come,” Loki says in the taxi cab to the airport.
“They surely have other matters to attend to,” Loki says at 30,000 feet.
“I cannot imagine them meeting us,” Loki says on the Californian tarmac,  even as they do imagine it - the four of them with multi-color drinks topped with sliced fruit, curly straws, and tiny umbrellas.
Mobius has not released their hand the entire voyage. “You never know. Stranger things have happened.”
“Stranger than two gods vacationing with their delinquent adopted relative?”
“Sure,” Mobius says with a shrug. “You hear the one about the gorgeous god who found their soulmate in a folksy dope of a human?”
A small measure of Loki’s anxiety melts away. “You are referring to when the realm’s bravest human opened their heart to a broken god?”
“Not broken,” Mobius says, suddenly serious. “Never broken.”
“Mobius,” Loki starts, but in a flash, Mobius easy smile returns.
“Come on. Let’s hit the beach.”
Loki bounces their leg the entire taxi drive to their beach-front hotel. Their suite is large, upgraded last minute at surely no small expense, to a set of three rooms, just in case Thor and Frigga decided to arrive. They change into swim trunks and descend the staircase off their balcony down to the sand. The hotel arranged a series of lounge chairs and umbrellas that Loki is eager to claim, but Mobius pulls them down to the water first.
“We’ve been in Iowa too long. We have to at least touch the ocean.”
Loki accommodates him enough to step into the water, ankle-deep. Mobius splashes in all the way. He dips below the surface, then reappears, drawing closer, soaking wet.
“Do not even think of -” Loki says, knowing what’s coming. Mobius allots them plenty of time to move if they wish, but they do not. Though they do groan in dismay as Mobius wraps them in a damp hug.
“Kiss me,” Mobius says, bright as the sunshine and laughing. “I taste like the ocean.”
Loki does not bother to stop their rolling eyes, even as they indulge him with a kiss. Hm, he does taste a bit salty. But it’s still Mobius underneath.
“Perhaps you are part fish,” Loki offers, teasing.
Mobius’s eyes light up. “Do you think mermaids are real? Mermen?”
Loki, watching Mobius’s youthful glee, has no desire to quash his joy, even slightly. “Perhaps?”
“Oh, man. How great would that be?” Mobius says and releasing Loki, flops back into the water.
Loki can’t help their smile. And they don’t want to either. Mobius makes them feel young again too, full of hope and possibilities. Like they could accomplish anything.
Like defying death.
Their smile slips, but they struggle to hold onto it, not wanting to ruin Mobius’s fun.
But even this trip carries the weight of Mobius’s unsaid wish, I want you to have something to remember me by.
“We will remember together,” Loki says under his breath, as Mobius jumps into a wave.
Then, like a boom of thunder across the beach, roars a voice, “Brother!”
Loki turns to see Thor in bright-colored shorts and a too-small white tank top walking toward him. Large sunglasses hide his eyes, and a swipe of white sunscreen streaks his nose, but his wide smile leaves no argument to his expression. And beside him...
Frigga wears a long, floral sundress and a wide-brimmed hat. Where Thor barrels forward, oaf-like, she moves like the water itself, each step on the sand fluid and careful.
Reality flashes through Loki, stealing his breath. When last she saw them, they were... not...
They have no idea what their relationship could be now.
This was a mistake.
Loki has to run.
They look at the water, but Mobius is too far out.
For Loki to run, they would have to leave Mobius.
Indecision roots them. To stay or to go.
But no, Frigga would not wear a sundress if she had meant only to renounce them. She would not dress as though she intends to stay.
And Mobius...
Loki steels their resolve. How tightly had Mobius held Loki after they fought about his job and he thought Loki gone forever? How many whispered promises had he made since then, of their staying together?
No. Mobius would not leave them. 
Loki will not abandon him either.
Thor reaches them first. “Good to see you again, Loki. Heimdall sends his regards, and his regrets. He could not get away.”
“Oh... uh, of course.”
“Where’s... oh!” Thor looks out at the water. “Mobius! My brother! Stay there, I will join you!” Then he trudges into the water, each step a large splash.
In his place, stands Frigga. Loki stands tall, bracing themself for perhaps-deserved condemnation.
But then their mother lifts a hand and places it softly to their cheek.
“My beautiful child,” she says, and it is enough. It is everything.
Loki falls into open arms, feeling much like a youth again, safe and protected in their mother’s embrace.
“Thank you for inviting us,” she says as she cards her fingers through their hair. “It was a most pleasant and unexpected surprise.”
“It was Mobius’s idea,” Loki admits.
“Your soulmate knows your heart well,” she says, kindness warm in her voice. “It brings this mother peace to see her child so happy. Especially after such a long period of distress.”
Loki closes their eyes and bites back their bubbling emotion. To have their pain acknowledge is almost too much. As to, is having the reaffirmation that they are her child, even now, even after everything.
Loki realizes too late that they are still wet from Mobius’s hug, and pulls away sharply. But Frigga keeps her arms on their shoulders, her smile ever-soft, ever-patient. She holds no harm for them, only kindness. Only joy.
Mobius approaches slowly, kicking gently through the water, creating only minimal disturbance to the water’s surface.
He looks first to Loki, as if studying their face. Loki knows he is searching for distress, that Mobius will rise to their defense with nary a moment’s notice. But he mustn’t see that, because a smile breaks wide on his face as he turns it toward Frigga.
He holds out his hand, dripping wet with saltwater. Frigga glances at his hand, then ignores it and pulls him into a hug, too.
“Thank you,” she says, voice nearly lost among the shift of the waves and the loud beating of Loki’s own heart.
“You don’t have to thank me.” Mobius’s voice is much stronger. “You’re always welcome to... oh.”
She says something else, something Loki cannot hear, something that makes Mobius’s smile soften and his eyes search out Loki’s over her shoulder.
“You don’t have to thank me for that, either,” Mobius says. “Loving them is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
Loki’s whole world goes very still.
The sun shines. The waves continue to pound the sand. Somewhere, Thor calls out for them to join him. Mobius looks away from them, back to Frigga.
Loki just stands there, a single word, echoing loud in their head.
Mobius’s voice. Mobius’s word.
Love.
53 notes · View notes