Tumgik
#everyone say thank you Nina
moon-warlock · 9 months
Text
AKJSAHAJ Crowley just had his
“Oh.”
“Oh.”
Moment
11 notes · View notes
1moreoffkeyanthem · 5 months
Note
wife wife i have no music taste, but you feel musical to me! will you drop any songs you relate to your universes stans, kyles and style in general? if not music books, other characters, pieces of media, quotes, poems? i am insatiable darling <3
YOYOYO!!!!!!
First of all hello my wife my wife the love of my life! (I did in fact ride half of my first year of college on a music scholarship)
OKAY so you know how heavily I associate Fall Out Boy with Stan in general (mostly bc I like projecting and I’m a gremlin abt fob) SPECIFICALLY Infinity On High (I know we’ve discussed this before and yes I’m still unhinged abt the 27 rm thing) AND I’ve said a LOT abt OrangeJuiceVerse Stan being musically inclined as one of his main outlets.
(I will be mainly sticking to ojv bc that do be my main focus atm)
So Stan will play literally whatever on the guitar and he can improvise SO WELL!!! Like it’s wild but he’s just like eh it’s a casual hobby but he hears a song and immediately knows the basic chord progression and bpm he’s the king of countermelodies too. Kenny will start playing something and then Stan will pop in with the most gorgeous harmonies and just…. fall in.
Stan will listen to ANYTHING he especially loves songs with a story (I’m sticking to ATLCTS for him being a Tenacious D fan bc I very much enjoy that) and Kyle, while Stan is all “LISTEN TO THAT CELLO BREAK” Kyle Is all fully into the lyricism and losing his shit about RAINDROPS ON ROSES AND GIRLS IN WHITE DRESSES AND SLEEPING WITH- (I feel like they have similar tastes but for different reasons if u get me)
My Kyle’s for sure are lyrics gremlins. Stan will be like KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE but Kyle will be WAIT LOOK THE STORY HOLY SHIT SYMBOLISM(smh they whole ass watch musicals together and neither of them stfu) (losers)
(This is unhinged I’m eepy) so song specific idk man but I feel in my soul that Stan’s hopeless romantic ass serenades Kyle on a regular basis ESPECIALLY when he’s in an Emo Boy Mood like this man thinks he’s Orpheus or something ALSO Stan is incredibly specific about having certain playlists for every single situation and the “Super Best Spicy Time” playlist is INCREDIBLY LAME!!! (I’m talkin Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and Mr Brightside was playing during their first time) like they are losers your honor
On FOB Stan I’m currently specifically feeling him with What A Catch, The (After) Life Of The Party, From Now On We Are Enemies, Golden, Fame< Infamy, The (Shipped) Gold Standard, She’s My Winona, Disloyal Order, A Little Less Sixteen Candles, Heavens Gate, SOPHOMORE SLUMP IS SO STYLE OMG
Sorry that was a lot I’m very passionate abt the fob Stan thing
EVERY LAME ASS SAPPY LOVE SONG IS EXTREMELY STYLE TO ME!!! If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell, I’ll Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie, LINE WITHOUT A HOOK?!? Nothing Matters But You by The Young Veins, Northern Downpour and When The Day Met The Night by Panic, I Think I Love You by Tenacious D, All I Ask Of You from Phantom (btw I saw someone draw a style phantom of the opera au it slayed so hard), Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John (there’s this scene in a fic I read where Stan plays it for Kyle on his guitar and I lost my mind), ofc Carry On Wayward Son, Accidentally In Love by the counting crows, Turn Off The Lights from the Vices and Virtues bonus tracks, As Long As You’re Mine from Wicked (I feel like Kyle fuckinh loves Wicked) All I’ve Ever Known from Hadestown.
OJV Kyle for sure listens to the acoustic versions of pop songs and is SUCH a sap (he won’t admit it as much as Stan tho) like he’ll pause a song after a particularly clever or romantic line and just be like DID YOU HEAR THAT! Stan writes songs every once in a while and whenever he writes for Ky he always tries to paint a story because that’s what Kyle likes help I love them so much
As for other media I associate w the boys, bruh lemme tell ya the sp brainrot is so real I physically cannot watch or read anything without imagining a couple as style (literally last night my partner and I were watching the picture lock of the last feature we worked on and I’m over here looking at the two main characters like hmm who is Stan who is Kyle I’m the WORST)
Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure is so Them to me holy shit like best friends getting into situations and being obsessed with each other I love that shit (u can’t tell me Bill and Ted aren’t in love)
This comes as no surprise to anyone but Lord Of The Rings for sure, especially since i decided that they speak elvish to each other on the regular
I’ve also said it before but!!! As a massive PJO/Riordanverse fan, THEY ARE SO PERCABETH CODED!!! We got Stan/Percy as the reluctant hero who everyone looks to, Kyle/Annabeth as the badass short tempered voice of reason, like DUDE.
(Also I hope you know how much your fics have influenced my mindset like I’ll drive past Taco Bell and be like o look style moment and I saw Fireball at the gas station and thought abt rm Stan)
Anyway this is long as SHIT I’m completely insane it’s fine THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK ILY
0 notes
ineffablelvrs · 1 year
Text
hello, just popping in to make you guys aware of the fact that empire state building is a crows' stan
Tumblr media
comments under @msmrvels' tiktok
6K notes · View notes
99laundry · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
tagged by @killrockstar to post nine of my favorite women vocalists! decided to stick with the rock girls for this one :)
kathleen hanna (bikini kill/le tigre), missy dabice (mannequin pussy), ari up (slits), shilpa ray, corin tucker (sleater-kinney), hayley williams (paramore), pj harvey, kelli mayo (skating polly), nico
if anyone else wants to do this pls feel free and tag me!
23 notes · View notes
five-of-cr · 5 months
Text
here's the thing about matthias: he isn't the honorable, reformed hero some of the fandom seems to see him as.
yes, he was raised by a tight-knit family of comrade soldiers and decides to betray them in the end. of course that took incredible strength. i don't deny that. but we also need to recognize that the drüskelle are not just some rogue cult. they are a core part of the fjerdan government, who is trying to wipe out the grisha because they are seen as dangerous. that's literally just genocide. however indoctrinated someone is, this is something that is evil from every angle, even if the character can't or won't see it.
and look, i love a good redemption arc, but matthias is such a passive actor in his. he falls in love with nina against his will. she changes his attitudes toward grisha because she's beautiful and kind so all grisha can't be bad, right? this a classic example of the trope of separating the "good ones" from the rest, where you cherry-pick specific individuals to point to as exceptions to a group's nature, which is still implied to be evil. you have to do a lot more than fall in love to truly unearth and address the roots of bigotry.
tbh, this is my biggest critique of the books as a whole. i loathe the "love conquers all" trope that pairs together a character from the oppressed group and one from the oppressors, letting the one show the other through the power of love that being bigoted is not nice. it puts all the responsibility on the former to prove their humanity, and gives all the credit to the latter's ability to be persuaded to recognize it. and then it inevitably leads to forgiveness, because the character has "earned" it by changing their views, once again making the victim seem like the villain if they don't absolve the oppressor of their past "mistakes". also, it's incredibly unrealistic for someone to fall in love with a person who actively hates them and considers them sub-human. in real life, people have to work on their bigotry before that happens, not use the relationship as a plot device for character development.
i think the idea of writing a character like matthias is neat. i think portraying someone's struggle to throw off the suffocating, hateful dogma they've been fed all their life is a story we need more of. i think personal growth of this variety should be celebrated, because otherwise people would never change. but i don't think the people, fictional or real, get to do this without facing profound consequences. it is not enough to feel sorry. it is not enough to apologize. it is definitely not enough to fall in love. and i think writing that lets people off the hook like this grossly oversimplifies power and oppression, and ends up being a feel-good way to romanticize people who cause a lot of harm.
a last note: my opinion is 100% influenced by my being bipoc. matthias is a classic aryan supremacist, even if being aryan isn't the thing he's being supremacist about. my gut reaction to that type of character is always going to be mistrust, both because people in real life have given me reason to be mistrustful and because characters like these are often written in a way that makes you sympathize with oppressors. i don't think matthias earns that trust, and i don't see why i owe him my affection as a reader.
17 notes · View notes
cuteniarose · 11 months
Note
Hello!! katkastrofa directed me to you as someone still active in the red lotus fandom and I just wanted to say hi!! I fell down this rabbit hole pretty recently and it's been a blast, so I'd love to chat about them!
Omg hi I'm so sorry i took so long to answer i completely forgot about this ask (things were a lot, what can I say)
Anyway, welcome to our side of the fandom. Population: less than five, and Kat and I are really the only ones active most of the time
I've been in this minor character hell for just over four and a half years now and they've become permanent rent free residents in my head, so I'd love to talk about them))
3 notes · View notes
Text
Leigh Bardugo knew exactly what she was doing when she made Nina bi
9 notes · View notes
frankencanon · 9 months
Text
I'm still reeling from Good Omens 2 — and I'm not talking about the cliffhanger.
No, I'm talking about the plot.
The whole "Something Terrible is Going to Happen" thing with a Naked Amnesiac Gabriel in the beginning made it seem like this season was going to go the same route as season 1 did — Armageddon, take 2.
And then when the season ended I was just so distracted by the kiss and the cliffhanger that it never really processed for me that this entire season was...
Well.
Whereas season 1 was all about stopping the Apocalypse, season 2 was entirely centered around romance, and only romance.
From what I can recall, there were three main storylines driving the plot in season 2:
Maggie and Nina's love story.
Gabriel and Beelzebub's love story.
Crowley and Aziraphale's love story.
Even if it didn't seem that way at first, it was revealed in the end that everything that had occurred had to do with someone's love story.
Naked amnesiac Gabriel showing up at the bookstore? That only happened because he fell in love with Beelzebub and got himself fired, then chose to run away before they could steal his memories of falling in love with them.
This whole season was about trying to find out what happened to Gabriel (love, love is what happened), trying to get Nina to fall in love with Maggie, and Crowley coming to terms with the fact that he is in love with Aziraphale, and then eventually working up the courage to act on that love.
And that's not even mentioning the minisodes — which were basically telling us the story of how Crowley and Aziraphale fell in love!
This entire season was centered around romance, and only romance!
The second season of Good Omens was literally a love story. I can't believe it — can you?!
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU so much, Mr. Neil Gaiman!
Never before would I have guessed that season 2 would end up like this... I know we're all sad about how things left off with Crowley and Aziraphale, but there's not nearly enough appreciation going around for how we were even able to get to that point in the first place!
Everyone say,
"THANK YOU, NEIL GAIMAN!"
And let's not forget David Tennant (Crowley) and Michael Sheen (Aziraphale) who played these hopelessly in love idiots so well!
5K notes · View notes
armageddidnt · 8 months
Text
Welcome to My Collection of Random Thoughts during my nth* rewatch of Good Omens Season 2
*only amazon prime knows the exact number at this point but I’m fairly certain it’s in the double digits
Tumblr media
Episode 1: Gabriel’s fly lurking in the box when Aziraphale first takes it inside 👀
Tumblr media
Crowley’s promise of “two minutes” basically means that he’s been homeless and living in his car for the past 4 years strictly so that he can be within 2 driving minutes of Aziraphale at all times in case his angel needs him I’m not crying you are
Tumblr media
So here I think the key word is “fragile,” Crowley knows they are ostensibly safe from their respective sides but that could change at any moment so he’s basically spent the last 4 years in anxiety-ridden terror hovering as close to Aziraphale as he can to try and protect him from heaven, hell, and anyone else that would want to bring him harm after all that business they pulled in season 1 with stopping Armageddon
Tumblr media
Episode 2: I just happened to pause the episode while Aziraphale is lying to the angels about his miracle and LOL Michael really outdid himself here (Sheen, not the Archangel)
Tumblr media
Gabriel trying to swat flies and almost smashing the repository of every single one of his memories
Tumblr media
I’m cAckling
Tumblr media
So if Good Omens exists in Good Omens, does that mean Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett exist in Good Omens?? Do you think they based their Aziraphale and Crowley characters on Aziraphale and Crowley??
Tumblr media
Episode 3: So I’m trying to find any hints or foreshadowing of the Gabriel Beelzebub thing bc tbh I did kind of feel like it came out of nowhere which is really the only issue I have with them. I found this one scene where Beelzebub almost ?? seems to be concerned about Gabriel ?? But it’s blink and you miss it and there could be lots of other reasons why Beelzebub doesn’t want to fail in locating Gabriel (pressure from/leverage over heaven, etc) so idk
Tumblr media
More Foreshadowing Fly content 🪰
Tumblr media
Episode 4: So here we’ve seen that Shax can just appear inside the Bentley bc she did it earlier to talk to Crowley. Shax only pretended to be a hitchhiker so she could be invited in because Azirpahale was driving so technically she needed permission to cross the threshold of an angel 👀
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This scene will never not destroy me the 1941 flashback is the absolute sOFTEST thing ever to happen on this show
Tumblr media
We really need more context here I need to see the Crowley-Furfur Monkey Rides
Tumblr media
Episode 5: ahahaha thank you google translate for absolutely destroying my sanity this evening
Tumblr media
POP goes the Ziraphale
Tumblr media
Okay I know you can’t hear it in the gif but just before Nina takes Maggie’s hand, there’s a very quiet miracle noise, like Azirpahale literally MADE Nina dance with Maggie, he said I’m writing a Mina Jane-Austen-Ball-AU and my otp will KISS godDAMMIT
Tumblr media
Azirpahale seems lowkey kind of manic this whole scene tho, he’s controlling literally everyone to force Nina and Maggie together and whenever Crowley says anything that pokes holes in Aziraphale’s Magical Jane Austen Ball Fairytale, Aziraphale just straight up denies it. He wants Nina and Maggie to dance and he wants him and Crowley to dance and he refuses to acknowledge anything beyond that.
Tumblr media
Is this just Shax insulting Crowley for how much of a nuisance he’s been or a reference to his former status as an angel ???
Tumblr media
They’re both completely dismissive of each other when they’re trying to say something important and that’s the main issue they’ve been having this entire season tbh
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 6: I think it’s funny that Crowley describes the angels as bees here because in the book, Neil/Terry describe humans the same way. Guess we have more in common than we thought huh?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
So the metatron was the one who originally decided Gabriel would be memory wiped and not sent to hell, and he was also the one that decided not to sound an alarm about Gabriel for some reason and said ‘just go find him yourself’ instead. The metatron has definitely got his own agenda and you can bet he doesn’t want Aziraphale up there in heaven because he’s a “leader” and he’s “honest” like that’s exactly what Gabriel was and look where it got him 👀
Tumblr media
There’s just something I can’t quite put my finger on about the metatron bringing Aziraphale a coffee from “give me coffee or give me death” and then asking Aziraphale if he’s going to take the coffee he’s giving him…
Tumblr media
I have not seen a single person talk about this since s2 came out but Nina literally calls Maggie “angel” because that’s the term of endearment they hear Crowley using for Aziraphale !!!! I’m still going fERAL over this and I can’t believe no one else is eitHER
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Something about this part of The Final Fifteen compared to this scene from the first episode is so representative of the entire season. Azirpahale keeps saying “my way or get out” and Crowley finally hits a wall and can follow Aziraphale no further. So he does just that. He goes.
Tumblr media
I’m sure a lot of us by now have seen this post that brings up how Aziraphale literally pushes the remains of Crowley into his mouth and swallows and it’s the only thing I see when I watch this now
Tumblr media
We still don’t know for certain if Crowley queued up this song to play on their way to the Ritz or if the Bentley started playing it all on its own and it’s driving me insane
Tumblr media
Basically how I am doing after my Truly-Alarming-Number-th watch of this traumatizing episode/season. WELP hope you enjoyed this garbage dump of my thoughts and feelings time to go cry for a bit again BYE
2K notes · View notes
theowritesstuff · 1 year
Text
Everything
Tumblr media
Kaz Brekker x gn!healer!reader
Requests: “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.” & “You are everything. Everything.” Although I did change it to “You are everything to me. Everything.”
Warnings: bruises, knives, guns, stabbing, blood, murder (feral Kaz)
A/N: Yeah, this is pretty dark guys. If you’ve watched the show/read the books you’ll be fine, but the crows plotlines are usually dark. I actually really like this one though! Italics are Kaz’s thoughts.
Request a prompt with one of my characters!
Kaz Brekker was methodical. He planned everything he could down to the very minute. It was how he was able to become the leader of the Dregs, the Bastard of the Barrel. No one dared cross Kaz, in fear of losing their life.
His crew were nearly as untouchable as he was. Jesper, the sharpshooter. Inej, the wraith. Wylan, the demolitions expert. Nina, the heartrender. And Matthias, the druskelle. They, along with their leader, made up one of the most prominent gangs in Ketterdam.
Then there was you. You were the crow that Kaz kept tucked away from the rest of Ketterdam.
Nina had brought you to Kaz after finding you help a small child with a nasty scrape on his knee. She watched as you guided your hand over the scrape, and the cuts disappeared. She hadn’t seen another Corporalnik in Ketterdam before, and knew that having a healer would help immensely when it came to heists.
Kaz was reluctant to take you in, only agreeing once he’d seen you heal a black eye Jesper had been sporting for a few days. He gave you a room at the Slat, gave you a few kruge, and introduced you to the other crows.
They were all easy to get along with. Nina helped you ease into this new life, often times joining you for meals, or taking walks through the markets with you. You had an obvious initial distaste for Mathias, often times choosing to stay away from the druskelle, but seeing him with Nina quickly put you at ease. Inej was incredibly kind to you, and graciously thanked you whenever you healed her. Wylan and Jesper were easy to get along with, often times too absorbed in each other to be aware of other things going on around them.
Then there was Kaz. It was more difficult to have a working relationship with Kaz, anyone could tell you he usually kept to himself unless he was giving orders or collecting kruge. You tried not to take his indifference to you personally.
You do remember the day things changed between you and Kaz though. The group had all come back from a heist exhausted, some injured, some just tired, but you could see Kaz out of the corner of your eye walking to his room quicker than he usually does. You followed him upstairs, and softly knocked on the door.
“Come in.” He grunted.
You’d never been in Kaz’s room before, you don’t think anyone other than Kaz actually has. It’s dark, and honestly exactly what you’d expected. A bed in the corner, a desk against the wall cluttered with paper, and a wardrobe that he was currently riffing through.
“Is there a reason you’ve decided to grace me with your presence Y/n?” He asks, his tone sharp.
“How did you know it was me?” You shuffle forward, and close his door behind you.
“Everyone else knows not to bother me after a job.” He turned his head towards you slightly, allowing you to catch a glimpse of red on his cheek.
“You’re hurt.” You take a step towards him. He steps back from you instantaneously.
“I’m fine.” He turns back to his wardrobe.
“Saints, why must you be so stubborn?” You sigh. He doesn’t answer you. “I thought you hired me to heal you, so let me do my job.”
It’s his turn to sigh this time. It would be nice to stop the stinging sensation on his face. He glances at you, then gestures you towards him. “Fine.” He sits down in the chair at his desk, and watches you slowly step towards him.
You slowly move towards him, aware of the way his shoulder tense with every step you take. You don’t know exactly what’s happened to him, but you can easily tell he’s got some sort of touch aversion after watching him for a while. The black gloves that never come off his hands are used as another layer to keep others away.
Once you’re standing in front of him you take a look at the thin cut across his cheek. “I didn’t know the bastard of the barrel could bleed.” You murmur.
You don’t fail to miss the slight upward quirk of his lips at your comment. He holds his breath as your fingertips hover over him. He expected to feel the waters rise up in his chest, drowning him, instead he’s surprised to feel warmth from your hand. You’re careful not to actually touch him, pulling away once he’s been healed.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” You ask, stepping away from him.
That was the moment you became more than just the Dregs’ healer. Whenever you went out anywhere Kaz would send Inej with you for protection. He knew how valuable a grisha was in Ketterdam, and he was not going to let someone else take you away. He called you into his office in the Crow Club or his room in the Slat more often. Sometimes he’d need you to heal a paper cut, other times he’d just want your company while he planned out heists. On nights where he came back banged up more than usual he’d bare more skin to you, allowing you to heal him and provide him the comfort a part of him so desperately needed.
He’d never let it be known he was growing some kind of attachment to you. You were a weakness to him, and Kaz Brekker didn’t have any weaknesses.
It didn’t take long for the other crows to figure out something was different between the two of you. Kaz was a cold, corrupt gang leader, but they could see a shift in him when you were near.
He’d give you his coat if you felt cold on the walk from the club back to the Slat. He kept your favorite drink in stock at the Crow Club. He’d look to you for your opinion on plans for heists. He whispered comments to you while he thought the others weren’t paying attention, a smug grin growing on his face as you laughed at what he’d said. Soft isn’t the right word for what Kaz had become when you were near. He was gentle with you.
Jesper caught you sneaking out of Kaz’s room early one morning still in the clothes you’d worn the previous day. He smirked at Kaz as he ate his breakfast for the day.
“Have a pleasant night boss?” He asked over his cup of coffee.
Kaz raises a brow at him, silently asking what he meant.
Jesper simply looks over at you, who is currently in conversation with Nina and Mathias on the other side of the room. His eyes travel back to Kaz, gleaming with mischief.
Kaz looks like he’s about to hit Jesper over the head with the crow’s head of his cane. He gets a stern talking to in Kaz’s office later that day, and is informed that if anyone finds out about his meetings with you, his precious revolvers might end up on someone’s table in the market.
No one mentions any changes they’ve seen in Kaz after that. Everything goes smoothly from then on, until one particular heist.
It was a lot like any other heist, sneak into a place, steal something that costs an exorbitant amount of money, then sell it for twice the price. The problem was Kaz needed someone to sneak into a crowded party, and at that point most of the barrel could pick out any of the crows in a crowd. They needed someone that could be inconspicuous.
It was the perfect job for you. You’d always wanted to go on the crazy adventures your friend went on so often, and this was finally something you could swing.
When you volunteered to step in, Kaz immediately refused. There was a reason he kept you locked away in the Slat during jobs.
No amount of kruge is worth putting your life on the line.
He gives excuse after excuse as to why you can’t be used. You haven’t done this before. You don’t know your way around the building. They need their healer ready to treat them afterwards.
I can’t bear the thought of losing you.
“You don’t even know how to use a weapon.” Kaz sighed, barely looking up at you from the blueprints on his desk.
“Inej can teach me, right?” You turn to the wraith with pleading eyes.
Inej stutters as she looks between you, and the icy stare coming from Kaz.
“Besides, you said that you wanted me to learn how to fight.”
No, I said you should learn to use a weapon. I figured Jesper would let you shoot a few bottles behind the Slat.
“We need them boss. Y/n is our best bet.” Jesper shrugs as he becomes the receiving end of Kaz’s glare.
Kaz looks back down at his blueprints. He knows it’s going to be a busy event, and the others will be spotted on sight. He briefly wonders if he can hire someone else to do the job, but then he looks back up at you. He trusts you, more than he’s trusted anyone in a long time. He knows this is something you’re perfectly capable of, but is it something he’s willing to risk?
“Fine.” He grunts. “But Jesper and Inej will teach you to use their weapons first.”
Your hearts swells up with pride. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thrown yourself over his desk to hug him. “Thank you Kaz. I promise you won’t regret this.”
If only you knew how wrong you had been.
You did train with Inej and Jesper prior to the heist. You even practiced fighting with Mathias a little bit, who was significantly holding back his punches in fear of actually hurting you.
Kaz had made sure to drill his instructions into everyone’s heads, until they could repeat their schedules without thinking about it. Everything had gone to according to plan on the night of, until things took a drastic turn.
He kept an eye on you for as long as he could, until he was needed somewhere else, leaving you in the crowd of the large hall completely isolated from the rest of the group.
You were doing well on your own, slowly becoming more confident as you strolled around and made conversation. You managed to distract all of the merchants with conversation long enough for the crew to get what they needed. It was nearing the time Kaz told you to meet him outside when you were spotted by someone. You vaguely recognized the face, it was a man you’d seen in the Crow Club a few times.
He must’ve known about your affiliation with the crows, because next thing you know you’re being escorted the opposite direction you need to go. You try to stay calm, and remember what Jesper and Inej taught you about fighting, but you know with them holding onto your arms it’ll be near impossible to reach for the knife you have hidden away.
You end up in a courtyard behind the building when they start to question you. Simple things like “why are you here?” and “where are your friends?”. They quickly become aggravated with your innocent act, and become more incessant.
All it took was for one of the men holding you to loosen his grip for you to swing your arm away, and hit him on the side of his face with your elbow. Chaos ensued immediately. You were able to grab your knife, and used it as best you could against the three men fighting you. You had taken a few hits, but were able to stand your ground fairly well, until you felt a sharp pain in your side.
You froze, partially from shock, but mostly from the searing pain you felt. You looked down to see a dagger lodged in your side, being held onto by one of the men. He had a wicked grin on his face as he twisted the knife inside of you. You wailed out as he pulled the knife from your body, and watched as you collapsed to the ground.
“Brekker won’t be able to save you from that, little bird.” He snikered, then ran back inside with the others.
You could feel the blood pooling at your side. You tried to press a hand to the now sticky fabric of your shirt, and put pressure on the wound. You were far too hurt to be able to concentrate your powers to one spot. Your vision started to get spotty when you heard voices above you. A girl’s voice, clearly in distress, and a boy’s voice, sharp and stern.
More hands pressed to your side, then something was wrapped tightly around your waist.
You couldn’t hear what they were actually saying before you felt yourself being picked up, and held in someone’s arms. You looked up to see the figure that was holding you. A bigger build, wide shoulders, blonde hair? Mathias. Had you been conscious enough to speak you would’ve made a joke. Something about a druskelle carrying a grisha to safety. He’d laugh, but retort, telling you about how many times he’s had to save Nina.
You let yourself fall into the darkness after a while, your head lolling against Mathias’ chest. It’s okay, you thought, you knew you weren’t going to make it as soon as he pulled that knife out of you. You just wish you were able to see your friends one last time, to see Kaz one last time.
Kaz could feel his heart thundering in his chest. He tried to keep a calm composure, but anyone of the crows could see the anxiety building up in him. He was barking orders as soon as he saw you laying on the ground, a puddle of your own blood surrounding you. The waves start to build in his chest. He wants to reach out and touch you, to give you any semblance of comfort, because you’re not dead, there’s no way he’s letting you die. He’ll destroy all of Kerch before he lets that happen.
He notices when your head lolls. “Quickly.” He urges the group, speeding his own pace back to the Slat.
Once everyones regrouped they all gather in your room, where Mathias has lain you down on your bed.
Kaz tosses a pouch of coins to Jesper. “Go get some medicine. I don’t care how much it costs. Get the best you can find.”
Inej kneels down next to you, whispering prayers to her saints. Mathias leaves to gather supplies to help you. Nina keeps your heartbeat steady, her hands hovering above your chest.
The waters have reached his lungs now, pulling him down deeper into the ocean. Your blood coats the scarf Inej tied around you earlier, staining the blue material a dark, deep red.
“Saints! Kaz, your heartbeat is obscenely loud! Could you please go anywhere else?” Nina snaps at him.
Kaz doesn’t move for a moment, then quickly leaves your room to go to his own. He attempts to slow his breathing, to calm himself down, but anytime he closes his eyes he sees you again. You and Jordie.
It’s days before he talks to anyone. He only ever leaves his room to step into yours. Nina occupies a chair near your bed, dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep.
“Still alive.” Is all she says to him. He nods, then retreats back to his room.
He scours any and all information he has about the party, until he finds what might give him some relief. He leaves the Slat early one morning, and doesn’t return until late that evening. The gold crow’s head of his cane is now a bright crimson color. Blood is splattered on his neck, and one can assume his clothes as well, though the black hides it well from anyone giving him a second glance.
Jesper is surprised to see Kaz in such a state, knowing that he liked to keep up appearances.
“Hey boss, you’ve got a little…” he trails off, gesturing to his neck.
“It’s not mine.” He rushes passed Jesper, back to his room to start scrubbing the blood away.
You wake up about a week after the heist. Your throat is dry, and you feel incredibly hungry. Your limbs feel weak when move to sit up.
Nina sits next to you on a chair. She’s slouched over, soft snores falling from her lips. You softly nudge her, and let out a hoarse “Nina.”
She grumbles to herself as she wakes up. “Kaz, they’re fine.” She slowly opens her eyes to see you staring back at her, and she gasps. “Saints! You’re awake!”
You point to the cup that sits next to her, and gulp down the water when she hands it to you.
She stands up and looks towards the door to your room. “I’m going to go get Kaz.”
You grab her wrist before she can leave you. “Please don’t. I don’t think I can deal with incessant “I told you so”s right now.”
Nina scoffs. “Oh please, he’s been worried sick about you. I had to kick him out of here because his heartbeat was distracting me from yours.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. He even paid for some pretty pricey medicine for you. Speaking of which, here, take these.” She holds out a few pills. “Now, I’m going to go get Kaz, and maybe after this near-death experience you two will finally just tell each other that you love one another.”
“What? I don’t-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shake your head.
“It’s okay, he’s not very good at hiding it either.” She smirks at you before she leaves.
She’s only gone a few minutes before your door swings open with Kaz in your doorway.
“You’re awake.” He says.
You shift so that you’re sitting up on your bed. Kaz closes your door behind him, then sits down in the chair Nina had been using, his eyes trained on the floor ahead.
“I’m sorry about the heist Kaz. But I promise I didn’t tell them anything-”
“I know.”
You furrow your brows. “You know?”
He looks up at you. When he does this, you realize just how close you are to him. You can see every detail in his face. The way his blue eyes sparkled in the dim candlelight of your room. You could brush your leg against his if you shifted. You start to move away from him, afraid of touching him, but stop when what sounds like a plea escapes him.
“Stay.”
You let out the breath you’d been holding, and relax beside him.
“Nina said you were worried about me.” You say softly.
He laughs a little, shaking his head. It’s a sight he’s reserved for just you. “Of course she did.”
“Were you?”
He looks into your eyes as if he’s searching for something. “I was.” He takes a breath, then turns his body so he’s facing you. “You scared me Y/n. I thought you had died, or were close to it. And I…” His admission is quiet. “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.” He hangs his head in shame. The bastard of the barrel can’t admit how he feels.
“I understand.” You nod. “I feel so much love for you Kaz, you consume my every thought. You don’t need to say anything. I understand.”
He looks up at you, surprised. Surprised that someone as pure as you, someone who was literally made to heal, could ever love someone who’s caused so much pain as he has. He slowly removes his right glove, and drops the leather to the ground. He lifts his hand to your face, hovering near your cheek.
“You don’t have to.” You whisper, body frozen.
“I want to.” He takes a deep breath in an attempt to push the waves down, and slowly caresses your cheek. His throat tightens up, and for a moment it feels like he’s drowning again. But he focuses on your warmth, and his breathing slows down again. “You are everything to me. Everything.”
-
3K notes · View notes
1moreoffkeyanthem · 3 months
Note
feeling tender in this chilis will you tell us what ur styles find most attractive or love the most about each other or even what they find the most endearing, my dear? <3
My darlingest, Absofuckinglutely!!!
Dude I have a million AU’s, but all across the board? Stan and Kyle are SO RIDICULOUSLY IN LOVE!!! Even before they knew it, they were. I’ll always deliver the Tenderness. And u know my styles are pretty consistent across every universe, so these STAY true:
Starting with what Stan loves about Kyle emotionally? His PASSION!!! Kyle cares SO MUCH about EVERYTHING. And everyone. He sometimes gets carried away, and Stan will be silently smiling while trying to cool the fire down, because he adores it but like damn Ky you don’t need to get this worked up over the gas station clerk’s struggle with his kid? It’s so cute to him tho.
Similarly, my Kyles are some of the most empathetic people you ever did see. He just senses things about people and his first impressions? They’re usually right. If Kyle gets a Bad Vibe from someone, that’s a good sign to steer clear. When Stan isn’t sure what to think of a new person, Kyle is, and tells him with no hesitation. He’s so instinctual in general and can diffuse a bad situation at the drop of a hat. If he doesn’t get too riled up lmao. He just KNOWS. And he’s so trustworthy too, like you need someone for something? Kyle. He’s very self aware for the most part and stays on top of what’s going on mentally, but when he lets loose? Stan is just gazing in wonder at his firecracker of a sbf in absolute love.
On Kyle’s side of things: dude Stan is the sweetest human being on the face of the planet. Where Kyle is a fighter, Stan is a LOVER. He is so vocal about the things and people he loves, and he’s really protective of them! (Where Ky is a Defender, Stan is a Protector) Stanley Marsh my sweet loverboy and he tries SO hard to perform these sweeping romantic gestures and it’s even more endearing when he fails (unfortunately he is indeed kind of a loser) but is so cute oh my goddddd like ok king try to serenade your bf and slip on the ice and smile that soft smile when he helps you up.
When he takes a stand on something he is FULLY into it. Another thing u know about my Stans is that he’s ALWAYS vegetarian and that will never change bc he LOVES animals. And if he randomly brings home a stray cat (hi Moose) Kyle cannot say no because dammit Stan is already so attached and he looks so cute making those Eyes at you and his love of all creatures great and small is so precious!!! And Kyle, who thrives on passion, really really likes to see Stan get so stoked about that kind of thing. Stan is also such a dork and he WILL infodump about fob’s discography or lotr it’s so cute!
On that previous note, Kyle likes validation. His love language is words of affirmation. And Stan gets stoked about Kyle, and he will not hesitate to express it!
So, physically, ohhhhh boy I may need to chill with the hcs because I absolutely have too many. Starting on that with Stanley Down Bad Marsh and his adoration of Kyle:
Stan 100% absolutely has a thing for Kyle’s hair. Kyle hates his hair for a lot of the time growing up but Stan LOVES IT!!! Out here mega down horrendous and going “kyyyyy take your hat off I’m sad” and Kyle folds bc when Stan’s feelin down he is so comforted by a mass of red curls and he has indeed cried one of the times Ky cut it short (this may or may not be the reason ojv Kyle has shoulder length hair)
While I do have some Tall Kyles out there, most of them are on the shorter side, and all my Stans are Big Boys. And Stan very much enjoys the size difference. He LOVES picking Kyle up, feeling like a knight in shining armor (my Stans are PROTECTORS FR) and just holding him oh my god he gets so excited when Kyle actually LETS him! (Oh wow what a surprise I’m turning this into OJV hc hour) so OrangeJuiceVerse Kyle is 5’7 and like maybe 130 soaking wet, Stan loves to just snag him lmao Ky may get insecure abt his size sometimes but Stan’s gonna love it he genuinely thinks it’s so cute
His FRECKLES! Bruh every Kyle I’ve written has beautiful faint freckles EVERYWHERE and Stan will be connecting them like constellations. Most of his features are sharp and pointed and like something out of an elven fantasy and then there’s the freckles and hair that juxtaposition omg stan is enthralled.
Kyle is JUST as enthralled with Stan! He is a classically HANDSOME dude like this guy looks like a disney prince and his eyes are the prettiest shade of deep blue you’ve ever seen! Kyle may not get distracted as easily as his counterpart, but he’s staring into those eyes and spacing out. And oh my god directly to jail for Kyle bc when Stan’s got his arms out, it is SO over for him!!! Like ok ATLCTS headcanon one time smokejumper Stan and fae prince Kyle were at the Stenny Apartment once Ky figured out how to pass as human and Stan took his hoodie off and he was wearing a tank top underneath and that sweet vegan firefighting king is built! And Kyle sees the burn scars and is reminded of how much Stan cares about the forests and yep that was the first time they did ~activities~ smh but same, wood nymph Ky, I have a crush on ATLCTS Stan as well
It’s worth noting that most of my Kyles are somewhere on the ace spectrum too. But Stan Marsh exists, is built for hugs, and is the hottest guy in the universe to him.
Thank you so much for the ask my love I love to talk about the boys and how much they are simping <3
11 notes · View notes
neil-gaiman · 8 months
Note
hello Neil! I’m not sure what time it is where you are or when you’ll receive this. I just wanted to tell you something I really appreciate about good omens.
Thank you so much for showing Nina and Maggie’s relationship the way you did. I feel like I’m our society today women are expected to be married or having kids or if they’re not either they’re expected to be some entrepreneur of sorts. But you showed two women that are just living normal lives, sure Nina is in a struggling relationship but that’s not the only part about her character we get to see. Personally I see their relationship and their lives to be empowering as a women myself because the way I have seen “empowering women” portrayed in the media is in a “she doesn’t need a man she can do it all on her own” sense when just getting through my day without breaking down can be the most amazing or strongest thing I do that day. You also showed that whatever age you’re at everyone has their insecurities and you don’t have to fully figure out who you are or what your boundaries are at any specific time in your life because in the end we’re just people. Also thank you for not making the lesbians in the show the background characters that only exist to help the main character, thank you for actually giving them their own story line. And thank you for leaving them on the note they were left on, I thought it was perfectly done because we can see they still care for each other but they know what’s best in their relationship.
That’s all I wanted to say, I’m not sure if this made sense but I just wanted to thank you.
You are so welcome.
2K notes · View notes
reve-writes · 1 year
Text
—bejeweled; kaz brekker.
ʚ kaz brekker x reader | grishaverse | 1,2k words. ʚ from this ask. | dating kaz brekker, and he gifts you jewelry as trinkets like the crow he is. ʚ established relationship; crow club drinking. ʚ a/n i love this idea so much! i'm sorry if it's rushed or slightly off. thank you for reading!
Tumblr media
It started out small. Kaz had a ring he looped through a silver rolo chain necklace that he wore, tucked under his shirt, until one day it wasn't there anymore. The ring was a simple silver thin band with the letter R carved into the inside of it. It was a barely noticeable part of his get up, but Inej, the sharp-eyed wraith, noticed the lack of shining silver chain under his collar.
“Did you lose your necklace?” Inej asked, settling into the barstool next to him in the Crow Club. Kaz looked up from his glass, acknowledging her with a brief glance from under his hat.
“No,” he replied, not elaborating any further. Kaz Brekker couldn't help the way his eyes fall onto you as you sat at one of the tables with Jesper and Wylan. You laughed, throwing down your hand of five cards victoriously. His eyes caught the glimpse of silver around your left middle finger. A ring. His ring.
An involuntary smile crept onto his lips. It vanished within a second, as if it had never been there in the first place.
You turned your head, catching his stare before you sauntered over towards him. Kaz didn't say a word, turning to the back door of the club that led to a mostly deserted alley, hoping you would get the hint to trail after him.
The door clicked shut behind him, but not three seconds passed, it swung open again. You stood there, grinning smugly towards him.
“If I didn't know any better, I might start thinking that you missed me,” you said, brushing some lint off of his collar.
His gloved hand caught yours, holding it in place as you tilted your head to look at him. “I thought it was the other way around.”
He smoothed out your palm, pressing the back of your hand to his lips briefly. When he pulled away, he was twirling the ring around your finger. It was intimate—the ring was his and it was on you. You were his, as scary as the thought was to him, he liked it just as much.
Next, it was an ankle bracelet. A small little thing, usually tucked safely inside the neck of your boots. Then, eventually he started bringing whatever jewelry he found his hands on.
Tumblr media
Your last job was for a painting—expensive, six digits in Kruge, and it went mostly smooth-sailing, other than a couple of close calls. Everyone was safe, celebrating at the Crow Club. Drinking, dancing and laughing like there was no tomorrow. The ever-brooding Dirtyhands seemed to be in a lighter mood as well.
You danced to the music, trotting towards the Bar for a refill. His eyes trailed after you, trying to catch your glance. When he locked eyes with you, his head tilted slightly to the back door. His gloved hand definitely pulled another card from his sleeves and he revealed his hand on the gambling table. Sly cheater.
Jesper groaned loudly. “Kaz wins? Again?!”
Nina laughed merrily, leaning on Matthias' shoulder as she shuffled the deck again.
Kaz stood up as you were already closing the door behind you.
“I need a drink,” said Kaz. The rest of the table did not question him as they were already starting another round, this time with Wylan as a challenger.
Kaz was out the door in seconds.
“Seems our rendezvous is compromised, Brekker,” you said when the door clicked shut behind him. You gestured to a drunken man, passed out by the door, snoring loudly.
His nose scrunched up in disgust, noticing the putrid smell of alcohol and puke. “I wanted to give you this.”
Like a magician, he pulled a string of chain necklace out of thin air. Kaz and his sleight of hand was something you found extremely endearing.
“You took it from the house.” Your eyes widened, noticing the intricately-shaped charm of the necklace. It was the silhouette of a crow. You mentioned it to him in passing as you looked around the room where you were taking the painting from.
“It's yours.”
You let him hook the necklace around your neck, noticing the way his fingers brushed against your nape longer than it should have.
“Thank you, Kaz,” you muttered, taking his hand with both of yours, pressing it to the side of your face. You leaned into the leather, closing your eyes.
Tumblr media
The next time it was more noticable, a bright ruby ring, occupying your pointer finger. It was a small band, but the red stood out extremely against the silver. Your last job was at a pawn shop that belonged to a swindler that you were paid to intimidate into returning the money they had scammed out of your client. As part of it, you were to conduct a robbery of sorts. You were allowed to keep your loot on top of your payment. It was an easy deal to take.
You arrived at the shop just a bell past midnight. Jesper had already snatched a couple of vintage cufflinks for himself. Inej didn't mind swiping a knife or two from the extensive collection. Wylan was fixated on a small, bronze clock. Matthias was shifting through fur jackets being hanged by the door.
Nina gasped when she opened the box of jewelry. It was filled with various stones on different ring bands. There was a mix of earrings, necklaces and bracelets, too, but everyone was eyeing the ruby. It was practically shining.
“That is stunning,” said Jesper, already moving to grab it from Nina's grasp.
Before Jesper could take it, Kaz's gloved fingers closed over it. He tucked it into the pocket of his vest. “That is mine.”
Everyone let out a noise of disagreement, but relented anyway. However, it created quite the scandal when you headed down for breakfast and the ring was adorning your ring finger.
Wylan was the first to notice the bright red stone. His jaw dropped, trailing after the clueless you, who was almost on auto-pilot as you buttered a piece of bread and bit into it.
Wylan tugged on Jesper's hand, pointing at your finger. Jesper let out a conspiratory gasp, which alerted Nina and Matthias. Inej, who was blowing on her cup of tea, looked up as well. Kaz was nowhere to be seen yet.
“Morning, everyone,” you mumbled, rubbing the sleep off of your eyes. You were taken aback by everyone's bewildered reaction. “Are you okay? Is there something wrong with me?”
Self-consciously, you started smoothing out your hair and tugged on the collar of your shirt.
“Oh, you're fine,” Jesper said. “We just can't help but be curious of the ring.”
In your sleepy haze, you shrugged. “A gift from Kaz.”
As if on cue, Kaz walked down the stairs. Everyone's gaze turned on him simultaneously.
“He gifted it to you?” Asked Matthias, tilting his head inquisitively.
Kaz, with his usual scowl, asked back, “What are you all on about?”
“Everything made sense!” yelled Nina. “Matthias, I told you about the changes in Kaz's heartrate—”
“—or the way he sometimes disappears—” said Wylan.
Jesper chided in, “—and he's never cared for jewelry before, but lately he's been taking souvenirs back—”
“—and he's been giving them to ___,” concluded Inej.
“Well done,” said Kaz uninterestedly. “Astute observations.”
He brushed past you, taking a bite out of your buttered bread as he did. “Good morning.”
It was safe to say that the rest of the day was filled with inquiries by everyone else. Kaz wanted no part in it, leaving you to deal with the barrage of questions from how and when and all the sorts. You swore you'd have a couple of words for Kaz by the end of the day.
[ ]
2K notes · View notes
beauspot · 9 months
Text
Good Omens Is a Big Deal
With everything going on I haven’t acknowledged how grateful I am for what Neil (and John) did this season. I always saw Good Omens as a romantic story and everyone involved seemed to be super supportive of that. To actually see a follow through on those themes was wonderful though. To see Aziraphale continue to look at Crowley like he’s the earth, the moon, and the stars. To see Crowley continue to save his angel not because he needs them to, but because they love him.
To see them have their dinners, and give the other access to their prized possessions. To see them dance. They love each other. They are in love with each other and it’s not implied or a throwaway line that can be edited out.
It’s the beating heart at the center of the story.
Tumblr media
And they weren’t meant to be. Neil himself will tell you when he and Terry wrote the book Aziraphale and Crowley were meant to be friends and that’s it. Over time their relationship evolved and where a lot of writers would simply ignore that and keep pushing forward Neil pivoted and said “you know what? let’s see where this goes.” The last time I can remember something like this happening was with Hannibal years ago, it’s so rare with queer pairings.
I know everyone was excited about the kiss and it is refreshing to see queer people actually get to kiss, it’s still not something that happens all the time, but that’s not what made them canonically queer to me. If they remained completely asexual and never kissed or showed interest in kissing one another I’d feel the same. While I always felt they were queer what sealed it for me were 3 things:
1. Nina and Maggie, a romantic pairing that parallel our angel and demon break down to Crowley how she and Aziraphale are partners (and it’s clear they don’t mean business partners, does Crowley look like he runs a bookshop?) but they never say what they’re really thinking. They go on to state how that’s all they needed, the obvious implication here being that Nina and Maggie shared their romantic feelings with one another and that Crowley and Aziraphale need to do the same. Upon hearing this Crowley takes that as a sign to confess his feelings.
2. Gabriel and Beelzebub, another pairing that parallels Crowley and Aziraphale who are also clearly in love with one another is something Crowley references while he is confessing his feelings. “If those two lovestruck idiots can go off together, so can we. Because I love you.”
3. Crowley and Aziraphale express plainly to each other that they need the other. Crowley says to Aziraphale he wants to stop pretending they aren’t a team, a group, a them.
Tumblr media
Aziraphale says verbatim “We can be together.” and “I need you.” He doesn’t say “We can work together” or “I need you to help me” or some other cop out that a lot of other shows or movies might come up with to continue to bait their fans, while having plausible deniability.
Tumblr media
They love each other and it’s not platonic.
To me, the kiss serves as a way to seal the deal for people who only understand queer love when it’s punching them in the face. That’s not to say queer people can’t like the kiss, it’s one of my favorite scenes in the show simply because of how heartbreaking it is, but they were a couple to me long before that. And to add onto that by making every other important pairing in the show queer as well? Nina and Maggie being happy sapphics who don’t die at the end. They’re not together, but the implication is that one day they will be. Two non-binary beings—Gabriel and Beelzebub—falling in love and choosing to be with one another forever. The angels and demons are all genderless and no one misgenders them and no one gives a FUCK.
That means so much to me and I genuinely cannot express how thankful I am that this show and this season were made. The only thing I can say is thank you for standing for something, because not everyone does.
1K notes · View notes
boxwinebaddie · 3 months
Note
i made ravenstan on picrew hehe
Tumblr media Tumblr media
OHHHHH MY GOD I'M OBSESSED!!!!!!!!!
the EYE BEAUTY MARK HELLLLOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU GENIUS!!!! ok the tiny braid is so cute i love my life the bi boy PEACE SIGN!!!! also okay the nECK TATTOO???????? I AM HAVING MANY THOTS ABT IT!
like...thats...very interestin...management only put a ravenstan ban on piercings...Tattoos however...very interesting indeed.
-uncle nina, thinking many thots abt neck tattoo ravenstan
7 notes · View notes
thelov3lybookworm · 3 months
Note
Hey, will you write a cassian x reader fic inspired by the song Creepin by Metro Boomin & the Weeknd?
My fault.
Summary: They never liked her. Thought he was too good for her. She did not realised the lengths they would go to hurt her.
•○●⛦●○•
Tw: self loathing, cheating, asshole inner circle, reader does not think herself worthy of love. that's all, me thinks, but if there's more, lemme know.
A/n: thank you for the request anon! i enjoyed writing it so much 🥹 so sorry for the long wait my love❣️
(the inner circle is kind of a bitch in this, not Nesta though. she is an angel. reader has no freakin backbone, so dont read if its no your cup of tea)
with that out of the way, i might do a part two if everyone wants it. I have it all planned out 😏
anyways, enjoy!
(heheh @artists-ally and @aroseinvelaris i hope this makes you cry. the snippets were just the snacks. this is the meal)
•○🌑○•
Y/n stared at her best friend of centuries, numbness spreading through her chest the longer she thought about the information she had just received.
"Y/n? Please say something." Nina begged, her eyes shining with tears, pleading.
"What is there left to say?" Y/n mumbled, taking a deep breath as she turned her gaze towards the empty cup that sat in front of her, picking at her cuticles. "Are you... are you sure it was him?"
Y/n knew it hurt Nina to be the bearer of the bad news, and she felt bad for asking her more about it. But she needed to know. "Yes. I don't think many Illyrians walk around with seven glowing rocks on their body."
Y/n nodded absently.
They sat a few moments in silence, letting the scrape and clinks of the cutlery fill the space between them.
It was supposed to be a girl's day today, and it had been fun, until Nina had gotten that sad, guilty look on her face as the two of them sat sipping on tea at a small cafe in the heart of Velaris.
Y/n almost regretted asking her friend what the matter was. Almost.
When the quiet became unbearable, Y/n stood with a deep sigh, grabbing her purse from the table in between them. Nina followed. "Y/n?"
"I think it's getting late. We should go home. He will be returning soon."
Y/n could see Nina's heart breaking for her friend, but she did not want anyone's sympathy.
"You are going to go back? To that house? To him?"
Y/n released a frustrated breath as the two of them left the cafe, spilling out into the packed street. "What else am I supposed to do? Run away?"
"Yes! He does not deserve you. Please tell me you will leave?"
Y/n looked away from Nina. "You know me, Nina. I have never been one to just up and leave."
It was almost common knowledge at this point. Everyone who knew Y/n, knew she would rather stay in a relationship in which she was the only one making an effort than leave. And she knew she probably was weak for not standing up for herself, the couple of relationships she's been in before showing that, but she simply could not bring herself to forget the teachings of her long dead mother-
That it was a female's job to keep her partner satisfied, and if he sought out other women, then it was the female's fault that she could not satisfy his needs.
Y/n did not think she would ever be able to stop being that timid, shy female who would just cry in the safety of the darkness in her room when someone hurt her.
She hated herself for it.
Nina was the only one who understood Y/n's reasoning and did not give her shit for it. She was the only one who tried to gently guide Y/n to stand up for herself. She never judged Y/n for crying.
"I..." Nina took a deep breath before nodding, rubbing Y/n's back. "I hope you someday find it in yourself to leave him before he..."
Nina did not say it, but Y/n heard it nonetheless.
Before he left her, disposed in favour of someone better. Someone more beautiful, someone more confident and loveable.
Y/n nodded, blinking back tears as she moved to hug her friend, who was more of a sister than anything at this point.
"Thank you." Y/n murmured into Nina's shoulder, her voice breaking. She felt Nina nod against her, giving her a rueful smile after they pulled away.
"Take care, Y/n."
Y/n nodded, turning away. "You too."
•○🌑○•
Y/n searched his face for something, anything, to show her that what Nina had told her was just a lie. That maybe she was mistaken.
Y/n came up lacking.
Now that she thought about it, the signs were always there. She was just too busy pretending that everything was fine. That Cassian was not like her previous lovers. That he would not throw her to the side, out of his life, for someone else.
That he loved her.
She now saw how foolish she'd been. Every male put on this land by the mother was the same. They only wanted females who were confident, who knew how to give them what they wanted.
She remembered how he had become recently. Yelling and picking fights over the smallest things.
The first time it happened, he was deep in his work, and Y/n had dropped something, making a loud sound and startling the both of them. Usually, Cassian would have given her a small smile and just gone back to work. But not that day.
That day he had glared at her, which was almost worse than the words that he mumbled next.
"When will you stop being clumsy?"
He had spoken under his breath, but Y/n had still heard. She stiffened.
"What?"
He sighed, his frustration evident. "When will you stop being clumsy?"
His voice was loud, almost booming, echoing in the painful silence after. Tears filled Y/n's eyes as she stared at him.
"Great. Now you are crying." He leaned back, dragging his palms down his face. Y/n ducked her head.
"I'm sorry." With that, she had shuffled out of his office, hoping she had not angered him too much and that he would forgive her.
Y/n watched, as Cassian threw back his head and laughed at something his family said, his hand on his abdomen.
She knew he had recently begun pulling away, knew he felt trapped by her.
And so she had let him do what he wished, made herself smaller to make space for his happiness.
Maybe that's where she had gone wrong.
She could tell he felt freer in this moment. Could tell by the sparkle in his eyes and by the constant smile and joy on his face.
She watched through the window as his body shook with the bouts of laughter his family pulled from him. She stood outside of the small gates that guarded the River estate of the high lord and blinked away her tears.
She had not seen him this happy in months now, and she had to fight off the jealousy that simmered in her gut. After all, she had no right to feel that way after she was the one who suppressed his happiness.
Y/n took a breath, releasing it in a sigh as she made up her mind. She needed to talk to Cassian, and then she would go back home, to the place she and Cassian had shared. To the place that he stopped living in in the past months, only visiting for the sake of it.
Walking up to the door of the home was quicker than she expected, and suddenly she was staring at the fine wood and considering bolting.
Her hand raised itself before she could do anything else, knocking, and she cursed lowly when the sound of footsteps approached.
The door opened to reveal a beautiful female staring at Y/n with a small smile. She had gorgeous blue-grey eyes, her hair that was wrapped around her head in a crown shining under the faelights.
"Yes? How can I help you?"
Y/n blinked, swallowing, wondering if she looked as miserable as she felt.
"I- is Cassian here?"
The female's brows furrowed. "Yes. Who are you?"
Y/n's eyes travelled to behind the female, where now stood a wide eyed Cassian and a furious looking High Lord. "I..."
Cassian sighed, taking a step forward, making the beautiful female glance back at them. "She's my-"
"She's no one, Nesta." Everyone's eyes snapped to the high lord. Hate spread through Y/n, but she tamped it down when Cassian simply continued staring at his brother instead of defending his wife.
A sudden rush of tears prickled at Y/n's eyes, but she swallowed hard. "Yes. I'm no one."
Cassian met her eyes, his gaze pained. Y/n had the vague feeling of being watched, but she ignored it, directly addressing her husband.
"Can I have a word? In private?"
The high lord opened his mouth, to reject no doubt, but Cassian beat him to it. "Yes."
Y/n sighed, and when she inhaled, Cassian's scent mixed with a soft, feminine filled her lungs . Y/n's wide eyes swung to a confused looking Nesta before glancing at Cassian disbelievingly, and she could see guilt overtaking Cassian's features.
She blinked, letting the tears fill her eyes as she gave him a pained expression.
"Thank you." Y/n mumbled, her tone defeated. Before the high lord could interrupt, she turned away, making her way towards the garden in front of the house, knowing Cassian followed.
When she was sure that no one could eavesdrop on them unless they really wanted to, she turned to her husband.
The two of them just stared at each other, the air around them charged.
Y/n decided to try and break a tense silence. "Hi."
His brows furrowed. "Hi..."
She smiled uncertainly at him as she contemplated her next words. "I... how are you?"
He blinked. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
She shrugged, the words flying out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Just feels like I haven't seen you in a long time. I've been worried."
His features softened, his eyes studying her. "I'm sorry. I have been... busy."
She nodded. "I can tell."
Despite her efforts to not let her sadness show, she knew he could tell.
"I- I can explain-"
Y/n shook her head. "There is no need to. I understand."
He blinked again. "What? You... what?"
She gave him a look. "I understand why you did it. I mean... it's not like it hasn't happened before with my previous lovers. I get it."
His mouth opened and closed like a fish, and Y/n continued.
"Look, it's... okay. I won't stop you from it. Just... I don't want to know. If you are playing me, please... keep it low. My heart can't take it anymore. Just don't let me find out. Keep it to yourself." Her voice wavered as she spoke the words that were swirling through her mind since Nina told her about what she'd seen. "Please don't throw me away."
Guilt and shock spread though his face, as if he's just made a realisation and hated it. "Y/n I am so sorry-"
His voice broke, and Y/n immediately began searching for ways to ask for forgiveness and make him happy.
"Don't apologise, my love. I know your family hates me, and I probably deserve it. I... you definitely deserve better. I know you do. And I understand." She took a deep breath, knowing she was rambling but she could not stop. "I- I am so sorry I could not give you what you want, but please, Cassian, don't-"
Cassian grabbed her face, pulling her into his chest. Y/n stilled, trying to take in a full breath as tears started escaping her eyes as she gasped and clenched her eyes shut.
"Y/n-"
But a sharp gasp cut him off, and Y/n pulled away from Cassian, finding Nesta and Rhysand staring at them. Y/n took a few steps back, not wanting to ruin whatever was giving Cassian the happiness she couldn't.
But Nesta glared at Cassian, and then Rhys. With a start, Y/n realised the high lord was staring at her.
And he had tears in his eyes.
"You were trying to get me to accept the bond with a married male?"
Everything slowed down, and Y/n stared in horror at Rhysand.
"Mates?" She whispered.
Nest looked over, making to step close. "Please forgive me. I did not know that brute was married. I would never have done what I did otherwise."
Y/n shook her head, wondering if there was a way to respond to that.
She settled on the only thing that made sense to her.
"Good night."
She turned towards the gates, and, for the first time since she had met Cassian, ignored the calls of her name by her husband, his brother and his mate as she sprinted away.
•○🌑○•
General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392
Cassian taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter
373 notes · View notes