#five left!!!!!!!!

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Ok, I’m a little confused on how to word this request so bear with me.

Would you be willing to write a short fic about Astarion and The Main Character, sharing a tent at camp because relationship, and the main character giving Astarion a massage because he got hurt in battle, but Astarion starts moaning too loud on purpose, and making the other people at the camp think they are having sex?

I realize how weird and specific this is, but I love the idea of Astarion being an absolute Ham, and making the others uncomfortable XD

(Bonus points if the Main Character plays along)

LOL. Yes, I am willing. CW: Actually not many? Allusions to sex I guess? Maye spoilers to be safe? Brief mention of sadboy back story? This is honestly pretty tame.

~

Astarion wasn't against adventuring. If anything he was a fan, especially when comparing it to his old life. But he was only a fan when it was him doing the bloodshed, not when he was the one being knocked around into walls by massive ogres.

It hadn't been the worst pain he'd ever felt, far from it. But it had been fairly intense. Intense enough for it to take multiple tries for him to get back on his feet. And to have you fawning over him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" You asked as the two of you entered the tent hours later, still hovering behind him, "Is there anything I can do?"

"I'm fine darling," Astarion sighed as he plopped down onto his bedroll, exhausted beyond belief, "Nothing that a good night's sleep can't fix."

The healing from Shadowheart had done wonders, even if his muscles were still screaming at him. He was sore yes, but it really was nothing dire. But that wouldn't stop you from fretting, a fact that Astarion was a fan of.

It was no secret that he liked it when you agonized over his well-being. At first he had been a bit offended at your constant worry, taking it as a lack of belief that he could take care of himself. But then he realized you just... cared. About him of all people. Deeply and intimately, in a way that Astarion had never known, but one he could certainly get used to.

"Want me to have a look?" You asked as you sat next to him, your hands already helping to do the work of taking his armor off, "Maybe a massage?"

"That would be perfect," Astarion sighed, more than happy to let you pamper him. He had been hoping that you would ask that. You did have talented hands, "Thank you darling."

After he was divested of his armor you had him lay on his stomach, his back bare as you straddled his legs. Then you got to work, kneading his sore flesh like a pro. Astarion could feel the tension seeping out of his muscles. You really were so good at this, just one more perk of accidently falling in love with you.

He was moaning before he even knew the sounds were out of his mouth. But he didn't give it much thought, not when he knew you didn't mind. If anything you liked hearing him feel so content, even if he could get a little loud.

"Tch."

Astarion blinked his eyes open at the sound. Was... was that a scoff he heard? Astarion strained his ears, listening out of curiosity as you worked wonders on his back. That was one benefit of being a spawn and elf hybrid, he had vastly superior hearing abilities.

"It's happening again," That was definitely Lae'Zel's voice, the gravely cadence instantly recognizable.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad!" He heard Halsin say quietly, only to be met by collective groaning, "Whiners, the lot of you. I would have expected better from you Karlach."

"All I'm saying is that they could pitch their tent a bit farther away, that's all!" She laughed back at him, "Can't a girl be a little jealous?"

"Or a little annoyed," Shadowheart grumbled.

"Or a lot," Gale agreed, grumbling in that very specific way that made Astarion want to slap the frown off of his face.

Astarion rolled his eyes, finding himself to be a bit annoyed as well. While it was true that the two of you could get... excited, you weren't that bad. And Astarion had made it a point to sneak you far away from camp when he really wanted to have his way with you. What more could they ask for? It just felt like envy at this point, an envy that Astarion was petty enough to resent.

"All I'm saying is if I lose one more wink of sleep because of those two, they're getting a piece of my mind," Gale continued, "I'm sure we all can agree on that."

Oh. Well in that case...

"You're so good at this my sweet," Astarion moaned loudly as you worked over a hard knot in his back, "The best I've ever had."

He could hear more groaning from the peanut gallery, but better yet he could hear the smile in your voice as you quietly answered, "I'm just happy it helps. You're so bruised sweetheart, I'm surprised you're still standing. Your pain tolerance is really something else."

That was unfortunately true, a natural consequence after decades and decades of torture. But at least it served him in his newfound freedom.

"Maybe I just like it when it hurts," Astarion groaned loudly, an obvious lie. Especially to your ears.

It was enough to have your hands pausing on him. You leaned in close, whispering a question in his ear, "Are you doing what I think you're doing?"

"Darling, I'll do anything you want me to do," Astarion murmured, hoping that the ridiculous line would get his point across. And it did, of course it did. No one understood him better than you.

Astarion glanced at you as you leaned back, pleased to see the telling smirk on your face as you got back to work.

"Do you like that baby? Should I go lower?" You asked loudly, biting your lip near the end to keep in a giggle, "Would you like that?"

"Please," Astarion moaned out, only half of the sound faked. You really were just that good at giving massages. And the show you were both putting on was having the desired effect.

"For the love of everything that is holy keep it down!" Gale yelled out into the night, doing nothing more than encouraging Astarion to get even louder, "Perfect darling, right there. Gods, I'm close."

"Mm, flip over. I wanna see your face during," You shot back. Astarion could hear it in your voice, that barely contained laughter. And he wasn't doing much better himself. If anything he was a little surprised the others hadn't caught on yet. Maybe even a little offended. The dirty talk you had together wasn't this bad, a fact that they would know if they had actually ever heard it.

But before Astarion could belt out his big finale, the flap of your tent was being pulled open, Gale's voice yelling into it, "For the love of Mystra would you two shut up- oh my gods. They aren't even naked!"

That was the end of the façade. The two of you burst out laughing, you falling down to Astarion's side as you erupted into a pair of giggling idiots.

Karlach joined Gale at the door to the tent, her voice cracking halfway through on a laugh, "I told you they were hamming it up! Wyll, you owe me ten silver!"

Gale was already turning back, a pout on his lips as he muttered, "You're both lucky it was fake. We were five seconds away from sending Lae'zel in to shut you up."

"The threats aren't going to help my desire to continue fucking with you in the future," Astarion called after him, wiping amused tears from his eyes as they both stepped away. You turned to face him, still giggling up a storm as Astarion wrapped an arm around your wasit.

He kissed your cheek, still grinning ear to ear, "I think it's safe to say that I feel much, much better now."

#astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #asks #silly #so silly #dramatic sad vampire man deserves to be silly #five left!!!!!!!!

[ashiiuou]

"Five Nights at Freddy's"

#wanted to do a piece before the FNAF movie releases #ONE NIGHT LEFT !!!! #TOGETHER WE ARE FNAF!!! #FNAF #five nights at freddy's #william afton #springtrap #michael afton #mike schmidt #elizabeth afton #henry emily #charlie emily #golden freddy #fnaf ennard #ennard #circus baby #crying child #puppet fnaf #evan afton #dave miller #afton family #digital art #artists on tumblr #art #fnaf fanart #fnaf art #procreate #digital painting #fnaf movie #my art

[cracklewink]

Harmony Syndrome Part 5/5

The last chapter of my mlp infection AU! Thank you to everyone who followed along. Some final thoughts on my twitter @cracklewink if anyone's interested : )

#mlp #my little pony #mlp infection au #mlp infection #twilight sparkle #Sorry for leaving the ending open ended but I genuinely couldnt decide on just one way for things to turn out and I liked the idea of #leaving it open the most #in my mind sunset's final message is like we found a recording from the later days of the infection and we dont know what happened in the #end because the recordings stopped/ended #In any case I think they were able to put twilight and the others to rest #but who knows who survived the “final battle” and who didnt #also yes Twilight created harmony syndrome but not on purpose lol #it was the result of her botched attempt to create a spell that makes ponies immortal #obviously it backfired lol #and the irony is that twilight ends up dying before any of her friends #if they didnt want me writing my little pony horse tragedy they shouldnt have left mlpfim off on the note that all of twilight's friends #were growing old without her #ending thats been haunting me for five years #if anyones seeing this this is an open au btw so feel free to adopt any of the ideas if you like! : ) #tw thanatophobia #thanatophobia

[crystallizsch]

sigh i had an epiphany

book 4 is just a whole ass scooby doo episode huh

#there’s even FIVE of them #no i am unable to elaborate further #im afraid if i do i cant go back #so this is for the ones who’ll get it maybe ;;; #also i’m never gonna be over the fact that jamil MIGHT have gotten away with it if he left the prefect alone #jamil my beloved you got too overzealous #[— #twst #twisted wonderland #twst art #jamil viper #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #twst grim #twst yuu #★'-my-art #(💜) yuusha #—]

[intotheelliwoods]

They can never catch a break... I think we need 2 weeks vacation time to recover from this one

#scallione is still standing #he has too much energy #<3 #2 arms left #the besties #anyways good going everyone that was a horrifying yet entertaining watch #whos next (tiz...) #and kayson if you read this #go high five vane already #you deserve to high five vane me thinks #also jesus that was the most voted on poll by 400 something votes... #wild

[starlit-bug]

I don’t draw enough Moon ❤️‍🩹 he deserves a moment in the spotlight 🌙

#I wanna turn the top right into a fullly rendered pic sometime #also top left… maybe have y/n cowering behind the desk or smth #fnaf sun and moon #fnaf sb #fnaf #fnaf security breach #moondrop #five nights at freddy’s security breach #original character #fnaf fandom #security breach #fnaf sun #my art #dca sun #fnaf dca #dca fandom #dca fanart #dca moon #daycare attendant #fnaf daycare attendant

[dandelion-roots]

post 'all the showers mysteriously broke down so they had to use the public baths together?!' WAN era (i do not know how public baths work)

[id in alt]

#bsd #transzai #trans dazai #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd atsushi #bsd yosano #bsd kunikida #ppl rly blew me away w their response to my original trans dazai drawing- i expected like five ppl to see it- so im BACK #w another digitized* doodle #* scanned inked and fixed digitally #it makes me so happy to know this fandom is full of trans ppl- at least on the trans website #transing my blorbos makes me happy and i have fun doing it for my own transsexual health #but it always makes me extra happy that other ppl enjoy it too #such is art #if anyone has trouble reading the light blue background text in the last image its in alt text! #just click on the like alt button in top left corner

[canisalbus]

The Sheep plush has delighted me so much that I had to pause my work to quickly scribble a young Machete. please enjoy.

.

#auough #b baby #and his sheep... #that's distressingly cute #and you remembered the floppy left ear too #now I'm very tempted to give him that plush in canon #even though it wouldn't come off as historically accurate the shape language is too modern and dog toy-ish #hhhh hhh #;_; #thank you! I'm in pain #tropinui #gift art #own characters #Machete #why can't he have nice things huh #let the crinkle rest for five minutes

[athenagranted]

the way i would pay for oliver to write meta about buck's character

#like. he Gets it. i've been thinking about buck in this ep for five days straight and he said it better in one sentence than any paragraph #i could ever come up with #people are arguing over whether buck #acted the way he did bc he wanted tommy's attention or eddie's attention or bc he was feeling left out or whatever but i don't think it's #any one thing i think it was just a general feeling of Wrongness when tommy showed up borne from thirty years of repressing his sexuality #and he tried to rationalize it as jealousy or whatever and worked through the fact that his behavior was completely unreasonable but #it wasn't until tommy kissed him that all of the rage that was trapped inside him was allowed to escape bc he finally had a name for it #he's been turning over parts of himself for years trying to find that final piece and getting more and more upset when it eludes him #n this kiss was the kind of cathartic relief that he so desperately needed bc it allowed him to understand what's been missing #anyway. oliver stark i love you so much i'm so grateful you play buck #buck #rae.txt #911

[viarayy01-blog]

WHEN THAT PIZZA IS SIMULATING 💥💥💥💥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

#fnaf #fnaf fanart #fnaf art #five nights at freddys #my art #fnaf micheal #fnaf scrap baby #fnaf molten freddy #fnaf left #fnaf puppet #fnaf fredbear plush #fnaf pizza sim #pizza sim #pizza simulator #fnaf 6 #fnaf 6 pizza simulator #fnaf 6 fanart #fnaf 6 molten freddy #fnaf 6 lefty #fnaf pizzeria simulator #fnaf 6 scrap baby #poster design #poster im making for myself hahaahahah

[mxliv-oftheendless]

Ok I know we all like to joke about how the Battle of the Five Armies is only a page long in The Hobbit but like. Sometimes I think about how what if Tolkien wrote it that way because he didn’t want his kids to hear about war.

#like the hobbit was supposed to be a bedtime story for his kids #and Tolkien fought in an actual war like he was on the front lines #and obviously it impacted him heavily enough to write a whole trilogy of anti-war books #but this was a story originally meant for his children to hear #so what if he left out the battle of the five armies because he didn’t want his kids to hear about it #but still left in the sad aftermath because he at the very least wanted them to know how destructive war is #I dunno I could be wrong #but sometimes I think about that #the hobbit #lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #j r r tolkien #the silmarillion #tolkien legendarium #tolkien

[arrothededushka]

#my art #tcw #star wars #the clone wars #sw #clone trooper dogma #clone trooper hardcase #clone trooper tup #clone captain rex #clone trooper jesse #clone trooper fives #fan art #501st #501st legion #post umbara #79s clone bar #Rex left Tup in charge for one moment #dogmacase

[batneko]

okay okay okay one more dungeon meshi thought

I keep seeing people saying Falin is "better at social cues" than Laios. Y'all she's just quiet. 😭 She just keeps her mouth shut. 😭😭 Girl was proposed to, said "let me think about it," and then did not even tell her own brother. She doesn't know what's going on either she's just quieter about it!!! 😭😭😭

#speaking as someone who ALSO has no idea what's going on at any time and is too afraid to ask #dungeon meshi #it's a spoiler for the manga but she also left marcille at magic school for five years and just thought that would be fine #it was but only because Marcille loves her too much to hold a grudge against HER #and so transferred her grudge to laios

[dasketcherz]

you mean the world to me and... i just didn't know how to say that yet.

#daske art #fnaf #beckory #fnaf gregory #tony becker #gregtony #detetcive rabbit #GTY46 #fnaf GGY #fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's security breach #smth smth bout GGY may have not left his mind and was just laying dormant this whole time #smth smth that sends greg into an absolute anxiety inducing paranoia #that he needs someone to anchor him back before he spirals at himself... #also thanks for the idea puhpanda #i cant get over this line of dialogue being applied to them now

[valkeakuulas]

Not gone, merely marching far away but what about those left behind?

It has taken Rex surviving not one but two galaxy-wide wars to start thinking that his fate would never be the same as his vode, that his lot would be to look at their retreating backs, disappearing in the distance, forever out of reach.

When his time finally comes, Rex just hopes that his men, his brothers, will slow down just enough for him to finally join them.

Thank you thank you THANK YOU @cobaltbeam for taking my commission and creating art for the mental image, that made a home in my brain back in 2020, of a desperate Rex trying to reach out for the retreating backs of the men he once marched with.

#Captain Rex #Jesse #Fives #Hardcase #Star Wars: The Clone Wars #fanart #right in the feels #extra pain points comes from the order in which they are marching way #who says Kix is the only one who gets to enjoy the pain of being left behind? #NOT MY BRAIN #THIS IS AMAZING #MAKE SURE TO ZOOM IN ON REX'S FACE

[zu-is-here]

Your Viking drawings are so cool. I love NM's role.

#zu art #comic #vikings #(<– more here) #dream!sans #nightmare!sans #passive!nightmare #undertale #undertale au #utmv #zu is happy #ask #when I saw this ask I was like ''omg viking au my beloved...'' and the dialogue was ready in just five minutes *w* #thank youuu!! <3 #it's been (almost) a YEAR >:D #my headcanon is that Nightmare was really weak and sick since childhood so it was clear that he'd never become a warrior #perhaps these childhood grievances due to bullying him left such an imprint on his destructive personality #(oh wait it's canon haha ;D) #but yeah now he's almost the most respected person in their tribe (and this plays into his hands) =) #“...better than this strong and healthy Dream will ever be.” #I believe he still loves his brother deep inside and may let everyone die but not him #but Dream knows that this should be stopped... #omg I came up with another scene how dare you inspire me when I have to work xd <33