#fuck you go away you hurt me and then ignored me im done

[savage-rhi]

💙

#I am not gonna let what happened take away my passion and innate desire to help people because I can't ignore that #if I learned to trust humans before I can re-learn and give people a chance again #Just because I've had a bad streak of dealing with people who see me as less than were abusive or otherwise #doesn't mean that everyone is a heartless bastard wanting to set me up to fail or want to personally hurt me #I am not gonna stoop to the level of those who have hurt me #whether they fucking like it or not I'm gonna be a therapist #I'm already a PSS they can't take that from me #I'm gonna be my authentic self I am not going to change my mold for anybody not for these dated policies and archaic fucking beliefs #that are designed to keep people sick and trapped #I can't save everyone I can't click with everybody but damn it I'm gonna fucking try and be present for people that don't have support #even if people hate me for whatever damn reasons they have cause everybody deserves a shot #may everything that has already been done to me be given back to by those that dealt it #I'm gonna wrap up my finals for this week and then open up my kofi shop for business #i still don't know wtf im gonna do to survive but im laying out the stones #thank you to everyone that has and continues to check in on me i love you a lot

[ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts]

.

#i shouldnt have to just ify my anger wje. what you have done in the past has upset me #just because you have time where you get my pronouns right doesnt make the times that you dont go away #it doesnt make it hurt any less #you cant say that you do a “good job” when its by your own standards. #i constantly have to hear 'she/her' every fucking day at work from hindreds of people #i dont want to hear it from my fucking husband #its been over four years tht you have known me and its been they/them for as long as youve known me #she/her shouldnt even be in your fucking vocabulary when you refer to me #but because you still see me as 'female' that makes she/jer the default and for some reason #you cant wrap your brian around wjy that fucking bothers me #don't tell me you 'do a good job' and that i 'should know that' and that you 'dont want this to be a point of contention' #when you decide to go to bed without even asking me if im okay or telling me goodnight #you wanna gove me aomething to fucking be upset about?????? thatll fucking do it holy fucking shit #LMAO what the fuck is even happening #you wont even fucking talk to me because im upset with you so now youre going to just fucking ignore me being upset???? #in what fucking universe is that fucking okay??????? #fucking what ever!!!! #WHAT EVER. WHAT THE FUCK EVER. #fuck this #google wheres the nearest fucking bridge #this has been the worst goddamn week ive had in a very fucking long time #just fucking make it END ALREADY HOLY FUCK #and dumb ass roommate and his gf is here and i dont fucking want to deal with their fucking dumbass fucking shit either #get rhe fuck out of my goddamn life already im so fucking done #FUCK. FUCK OFF YOU DUCKIGN DUMBASS BITCH

[pupkashi]

arguments are never nice, but at least they help you grow

a/n: hi hi ! here is some angst with gojo of course with a happy ending !! thank u for the requests and i hope you guys like it :3 I’m not the best w writing angst so feedback is very appreciated !!

wordcount: 1,580

masterlist

“could you please just listen to what I’m saying?” you frown, frustrated sighs leaving your lips, hands balled into fists at your side.

satoru seems unbothered, his eyes still on his phone, only half paying attention to whatever you were talking about.

“I am listening to you, y/n” he groans, finally setting his phone down and facing you.

“no you’re not” you groan, “you know what? whatever,” you mumble, already walking away when you hear satoru stand up from the couch, his hand wrapping around your wrist and pulling you back towards him.

“no, say what you wanted to say” he pushes, piercing blue eyes staring down at you, slightly narrowed.

the height difference makes him more intimidating than you’d ever thought, but the anger in your veins was enough to roughly pull your wrist free from his grasp, venom in your words as you repeat yourself.

“it’s like you don’t even love me anymore!” the words were meant to stay in the back of your mind, and your blood runs cold when satoru doesn’t even flinch at the accusation.

“whatever y/n,” he sighs, turning around and grabbing his phone from the couch.

you’re not sure what to do as you stand there, frozen. satoru only sits back down and resumes his scrolling, it’s makes your stomach hurt even more.

“you’re not even gonna deny it?” your voice is smaller now, and you try to ignore the tears blurring your vision.

“it’s what you think isn’t it? what the fuck do you want me to say?” his eyes never meet yours, and somehow it makes it even more painful.

there’s a beat of silence, and you almost think he’s gonna let out a sigh and apologize, but it never comes. instead you’re left standing infront of your boyfriend, hot tears down your face as he scrolls through his phone.

it’s only until he hears your muffled sniffling that reality seems to hit him, what the fuck was he doing?

when he finally makes it to your shared bedroom you’re already walking out, not saying a word to him as your carry the small suitcase behind you.

“where are you going? what’re you doing?” his voice finally seems to have some emotion in it, and it makes you want to laugh.

“leaving, what else does it fucking look like? a vacation to Belize?” satoru flinches a bit at your cold tone, hand already reaching out to stop you when you turn around, angry eyes meeting his now softer ones. “you had your chance, we’re done.”

the words hit satoru hard, air leaving his lungs as he watches you walk out of the bedroom door, heading straight for the front.

“no- sweetheart- y/n please don’t, I’m so sorry please i just-” his head is scrambled and he’s not sure exactly what to say or do, but he knows you cant leave through that door.

he’s rushing ahead of you to block the doorway, positioned in front of the doorknob so you can’t even think of reaching and opening the door.

“what is it you want gojo?” the name feels foreign on your tongue, and it makes the man standing over you flinch as you stare up at him.

“you,” he replies, not missing a beat as you roll your tear filled eyes at him, scoffing.

“me?” you laugh, not bothering to hide the slight tremble in your hands as you point an accusatory finger at him, poking him in the chest slightly. “maybe you should’ve thought of that when you didn’t give me the time of day, or when i just wanted five minutes with you,” you growl, “or when i told you right now how you didn’t even love me and you didn’t even fight back.”

there’s hot tears down your face now and your sure he can see your whole body shaking. he can only stand there, heart breaking and walls spinning as you continue to berate him. what else can he do? he deserved this.

“you know im not used to this!” he pleas, blue eyes trying their best to coax out any sort of compassion, “anytime someone wants to leave me i just push them away first so it hurts less,” he groans, hands running messily through his hair.

“please y/n, you know i love you, more than anything,” his eyes are a bit red as he leans down a bit, trying to get you to look at him, but you only push him away.

you only shake your head at him, “no, you don’t get to play the ‘this is my first real relationship’ card, not right now” taking a couple steps away from the door, watching as satoru closes the gap between the two of you.

“sweets please, I’m sorry I’ve been so caught up with work and the elders and higher ups and the kids, I just- it’s no excuse and-” you only look at him when you hear a choked sob leaving his lips, watching as the once cocky and cold man breaking down in front of you.

“you don’t deserve how I’ve treated you, but i promise I’ll learn and I’ll grow,” he pleads, and for a second the anger in your body subsides. “i cant lose you, i don’t know what I’d do without you,” the tears flowing down his face have your heart faltering, and you almost reach out to wipe them away.

almost.

the sigh you let out is enough to make satoru tear his eyes from the floor, watching as you let go of your suitcase and head to the couch, taking a seat and setting your head in your hands. he’s frozen in his spot for a second, sniffling softly before wiping his face and tentatively walking over to you, sitting an arms length away from you.

“why didn’t you deny it?” you ask, your head still in your hands, not bothering to look at him. satoru sits up a bit straighter, his eyes fixated on you, hoping you’d look at him.

“anytime I get close to someone, or i start caring about them something bad always happens to them,” his voice shaky as he continues, “for a second i thought maybe this was the easy way out, maybe this way you wouldn’t get hurt.”

“how would that not hurt me? how could this possibly have been easier than just talking to me?” you frown, finally looking at him with tear filled eyes, “how could letting me believe that you’ve fallen out of love be easy?”

“it’s not!” he scowls, “it hurt and i didn’t know what to do and it wasn’t until you were actually leaving that i realized and- fuck,” he sighs, bottom lip quivering as he sucks in a sharp breath.

“it’s only when you were leaving i pictured my life without you, and it’s not a life I’d want to live,” his blue eyes are focused on the wall for a second before he’s staring at you again. “i fucked up, badly, and I’m so sorry y/n but please,” he’s scooting a bit closer to you, his hand hovering just over yours, as if he’s asking permission to touch you.

you can feel the warmth of his hand radiating onto yours, just barely moving so your hands would intwine with his. there’s a warmth that blossoms in your chest as you watch him relax at your touch, practically melting when he feels your skin against his.

“give me one chance, i can’t promise i won’t fuck up again, but I’ll promise to try my best and communicate with you,” red rimmed eyes searching yours as he waits, “i love you with all i am, i can promise that.”

the seconds that it takes you to reply feels eternal, and satoru can feel the ground beneath his feet crumbling away.

“okay,” you whisper, “one chance, gojo, if you mess it up that’s it we-” you’re cut off by strong arms wrapping around your waist, his face burying itself into the crook of your neck, his hair tickling you a bit.

“thank you, i love you, im so sorry sweetheart,” he breathes out, squeezing you a bit tighter.

after a moment of debate you’re throwing you arms around him, rubbing his back and breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne and your laundry detergent.

“i love you too ‘toru,” you mumble, rolling your eyes as he peeks up at you, a stupid grin on his face as he hears the nickname he’s grown fond of.

you stay like that for a while, only pulling away when he hears your stomach growling.

“how about we order your favorite takeout, put on the show we’re watching and stay in tonight? just you and me?” there’s no point in hiding the smile on your lips as you nod, letting him plant a gentle kiss on the apple of your cheek.

satoru wasn’t perfect, and he wasn’t gonna get everything right on the first try. but he does try his best.

maybe he burns a pan somehow making you chocolate covered strawberries, maybe he puts way too much vanilla extract in the cookies he baked you, but he’s trying.

and when he’s giggling and staring at you like you hung the moon, buying you flowers everytime he’s coming home to you and doing his best to set aside time for you, you feel yourself falling harder for him.

satoru was trying, and that’s all you could ever ask for.

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @beautiful-is-boring @luna0713hunter @torusmochi

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru drabble #gojo satoru angst #gojo x reader #gojo satoru imagine #gojo satoru #gojo satoru one shot #gojo satoru headcanons #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru fanfic #gojo satoru x reader angst #gojo satoru x reader fluff #gojo satoru x gn!reader #gojo satoru x y/n #satoru gojo fanfic #satoru gojo one shot #satoru gojo angst #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo headcanons #satoru gojo imagine #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo fluff #satoru gojo #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen angst

[lovelettersfromluna]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sweet Little Lies *ੈ✩‧₊˚

{Ellie Williams x Reader}

Summary: Being on tour with someone you’ve been ignoring for two months is hard…but doable

an: AHHHHHH!!! I am so excited to finally give you guys the second part of The Perfect Girl! I can confidently say that the vibe of this one has been so much fun to write and think about ideas for, and it makes me so happy that you’ve been enjoying it! This one is pretty short, im sorry but! the next part will be longer, fluffier and much smuttier hehe. Anyways, I hope you guys like this part too. 🖤 (Also yes I know I posted this before the poll was up but y'all saw how it was going im sorry I am an impatient woman)

Warnings: 18+!!! Eventual smut, Ellie is selfish point blank period, reader is extremely sad, some making out but doesn't lead to much, ANGST!!!!, this one is pretty short so not many warnings hehe. let me know if I missed anything pleaseeee.

Part 1 can be read here!

The rest of the tour was…rough.

After the night at the club, the silent treatment that you had for Ellie had gone from simply ignoring her, to pretending like she didn’t even exist.

Shows were awkward, practice was awkward, being in a fucking band with her was awkward. Not to mention the very noticeable divide that it put between you and the other members.

The entire situation made it hard to talk to anyone. It made you feel extremely isolated, because you had convinced yourself that no one could possibly understand, especially not the other two men in your band, so you barely spoke to anyone.

In return of that, the other members found it hard to talk to Ellie. Because ever since you had pulled away, things were just no longer the same.

The late nights hanging out in someone’s hotel room stopped, partying after shows were done without you, and the only times anyone truly ever saw you was when you had to perform. When you were done, you’d quietly go back to your hotel room to sulk.

The tour ended that way, with you silently pulling all of your things from the back of the tour bus once you had returned home and catching a cab back to your apartment in the city, going against the tradition that you all had done every time when coming back home, which was going to your favorite local bar and trying to out drink each other before stumbling home in the cold.

So now, you were home, still ignoring everyone.

It was hard for you. Because the girl you’ve looked up to for so long, wanted for so long, had said such mean things about you. And you weren’t an idiot, because never for a second did you ever think that Ellie could ever want you the way that you wanted her, even when you were wrapped up in her arms at night, or when she whispered stupid jokes in your ear whenever you were sad, her lips ghosting over your skin, you never once thought that you could have her. Because you weren’t a kid with a great big imagination, with hopes and dreams that you’d one day be swept off of your feet by her.

You knew deep down that it would never work out, and you were okay with that. You had long accepted that your love was unrequited, and as much as it hurt you to see her date girls she’d only known for a few weeks, and fuck countless groupies every night, you never let it get to you.

But hearing her say what she said, hearing those words fall from her pretty lips….it was like something was eating you from the inside out, and the love that you had for Ellie couldn’t outweigh the pain that she brought you.

And you couldn’t fucking do it anymore.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

The decision you had made didn’t come without heartache. You cried, you screamed, you threw things, ruining your room entirely, your rage and sadness burned you so deeply, because in all of this you still blamed yourself, and not her.

It had been almost a month since you got back from tour, and you could count on your hands how many times you left your apartment. Dylan and Charlie came by the visit a few times, and their apologetic smiles somehow pissed you off even further, because it made you feel small and frail, like you’d never be able to come back from this on your own.

You appreciated them, and you enjoyed the times they were around because it gave you an out from thinking about Ellie.

But all good things would come to an end.

That’s how you found yourself at Dylan’s apartment. He was shocked when you showed up, having not seen you outside of your apartment in who knows how long.

He knew that whatever it was you were there for, was serious.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ellie felt like she was seeing red.

She slammed the door to her car once she arrived at your apartment building, her nostrils flaring as she breathed hard. She couldn’t even stop for a moment to think about what she was doing, or if you’d even be home.

But after her phone call with Dylan, she didn’t care. She needed to see you.

After tour had ended, she had found her way to your place a few times. The first time she had a bouquet of red roses gripped between her hand, which after 10 minutes of standing outside your door, she took home and threw in the trash. The second time she came by with a box of cookies from your favorite bakery, which she ended up angrily shoving into Charlie’s chest when she came back home and he was at her apartment waiting for her to teach him a new guitar riff. The third time she simply slipped a hand written note under your door about how sorry she was, which you had promptly ripped up once you saw the small ‘from: Ellie :’)’ written on the front.

That was the last time she had showed up, figuring that you’d come around whenever you had cooled down from the entire situation. What she didn’t expect though, was for it to go on for months after tour had ended.

But she was done, she was over this and she was over you ignoring her.

She knocked on your door loudly, staring knuckles banging on the wood of your front door, making you frown as the loud noise echoed throughout your apartment. You sighed, opening the door harshly.

“I told you I didn’t want one of your fucking pamphlets! If you don’t leave I’m calling the fucking-“ your words were cut off, eyes going wide as you looked up and caught eye of Ellie.

A very angry Ellie.

You sighed tiredly, already trying to close the door on her. “Go home Ellie…” you mumbled out. But her palm was pressing against your door and stopping you from closing it on her.

“You’re quitting the fucking band?” Her voice is harsh, and her words make you freeze as you stop pushing your door closed.

You figured word would’ve gotten out sooner or later…you just preferred later rather than sooner.

You let out a sigh, one of your hands coming up to tuck a strand of your hair back before you give her a half shrug. “I told Dylan not to tell you until the end of the month..” you mumble out, your eyes staring at your sock clad feet.

The second you confirm it, you’re confirming Ellie’s greatest nightmare, and she’s pushing past you and walking into your apartment before you can even tell her that you don’t want her in that, and that she needed to leave.

There’s no use in fighting her, because she’s already there and she’s clearly very pissed off, so you simply close your door behind you and lock it. You figure that if this is the last conversation you’ll have with Ellie, it might as well be this one.

Ellie is pacing back and forth in your small living room, hands in her hips as she tries to get a grip of everything that she’s learned within the past few hours. She wants it to be a lie, she wanted to come to your apartment and have you tell her it was all a prank, and she’d finally hear that pretty laugh of yours when you too made up and cuddled on your couch.

But you weren’t, you weren’t giving Ellie any of that and it made her feel even more pissed off.

“Ellie…” you mumbled softly, reaching out and trying to grab her arm gently, trying to calm the girl down so you could explain.

Ellie pulled her arm away the second you tried reaching out for her. The soft tone of yours was all she had wanted for the last three months, hearing the way you’d soothe her when she became too consumed in her feelings.

But Ellie felt betrayed, she felt like she was being left behind, like you were throwing her away and leaving her like everyone else did.

You were abandoning her.

“No! Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t talk to me for three months and the first thing I hear about you doesn’t even come directly from you? You didn’t even have the fucking decency to sit us down and tell all of us…you told Dylan and you had him deliver your message to us like he’s your fucking bitch” she spat.

You knew she was mad, you knew she’d come to your apartment in a rage when she found out. You had prepared for it, you prepared for all the nasty things Ellie would say to you.

But you didn’t expect any of this..

You inhaled deeply, trying your best not to let her words affect you.

“Look, Ellie…I just…it took me a long time to figure out what I needed to do to feel better. I don’t…it just isn’t working for me anymore-“ she cut you off, her hurtful words coming back with a vengeance.

“Bull fucking shit.” She spits out, and her tone is enough to make you flinch. Her words are cutting into you just like they had that night in her hotel room, and you’re trying to find something in you to not lose your fucking mind right now.

“You’re leaving because of me, because of something I said. You’re…you’re leaving behind something fucking amazing because I hurt your feelings. I don’t know how many times I have to say it! But I’m fucking sorry! Okay? I feel awful for what I said and I wish I could take it back but I can’t, and I’m sorry, but you’re being weak for leaving because of it” she yells out.

And everything stops….because all you can hear from anything shes just said…

Is that you, are weak.

And it’s like some sort of fucking phenomenon or something, because you suddenly feel like you’re being transported to that night, and you’re standing behind a wall, listening to Ellie laugh about how…how fucking unwanted you are.

And you don’t hold back anymore. You’re done holding back.

“Yes Ellie, are you even listening to yourself right now? Have you for one fucking second not been a selfish asshole to think about how any of this has affected me?” Your voice is tired, and it sounds like you’ve been internally fighting with yourself to keep these words inside.

“You hurt me Ellie! If you’re so sorry you said those things, then why did you fucking say them? Is it so hard to just say you don’t see me that way? To be a sensible human fucking being and not trying to dig me into a deeper hole than you already fucking have?” Your voice is growing louder and louder, and you’re slowly closing the space between the both of you as you shout at her.

When you’re right in front of her, your chest almost pressed against hers, your voice is quiet, and it almost sounds like you’re whispering to her for a moment.

“I never once believed that you could ever want me…but saying the things that you said about me, and then sabotaging me whenever I’m trying to live my fucking life…I can’t do it anymore Ellie…I can’t be around you anymore..”

Ellie almost fucking whimpers, because the tone of your voice is nearly enough to bring her to tears.

You aren’t even fighting anymore, you’re just tired. You’re practically begging her to let you go because she’s just held you in her hands for too long, never giving you the chance to grow and become something more than what you are.

Ellie feels it, just by the look in your eyes, she can feel that this will be the last chance she has to tell you, to come clean and stop lying to herself and to you.

Shes being given one last chance, so she knows she can’t mess it up.

“I’m in love with you.” She deadpans.

You roll your eyes, walking away from the girl. You had no time for games, and that surely meant Ellie falsely confessing her love for you just to keep you in the band.

You nodded your head towards your door as you watched her. “Nice try Ellie. I’m sure you’ll be able to charm some other girl enough to replace me as lead singer by the end of the month. It’s time for you to go” you sigh out.

And Ellie is practically whining as she makes her way over to you, towering over you as she pleads.

“I…I’m not lying…fuck id never lie about this. Leave the band if you want, I don’t care, I just…” she grabs your hand, bringing it up to lay over her heart as she sighs “I need you to know how sorry I am..and how I feel about you…” she sighs out.

Your eyebrows were furrowed as you looked down at your hand pressed against her chest, rolling your eyes as you used the placement to push her away from you.

“Ellie, cut it out. Seriously. I heard what you said about me, I heard all of it. Im not your type, remember? I look like a kicked puppy everytime you’re with another girl” you sighed out as you pushed past her, walking off into your living room before plopping onto the couch with a loud huff.

Ellie was groaning softly, hearing her own words being relayed to her in your voice made her heart break even more than it had before. She followed behind you, sitting on the couch and reaching for you.

“I..I didn’t mean any of that! I panicked!” her words catch your attention, but she groans when she sees the unamused look you’re giving her.

“I swear…just…” She tried, pleading for just a bit of your time before she was getting on her knees in front of you, pushing your legs apart so that her body was pressed against the edge of the couch, and you had no choice but to look at her.

“I’m an idiot, okay? The last thing I wanted was for Charlie and Dylan to tease me about having a massive fucking crush on you…I just…you’re too good for me, I’m not…I know that you deserve better than me…but I can’t help the way I feel about you. It eats away at me at night and it makes it hard to sleep and it doesn’t stop unless you’re around” She rambled, her eyebrows knitted together as she spoke.

Her closeness made your cheeks burn red, and you tried to keep your face down because you knew the longer you’d look into her eyes, the easier it would be for her to make you fold. You frowned as you shook your head, and before you could even speak, she was already talking.

“Please…please I’m so sorry baby…it’s killing me…not being with you is fucking killing me. I’ll leave the band, I’ll pack up and you can find a new guitarist to take my place just..” her words died down, and her fingers were placed gently under your chin to force you to look at her, and you almost lost your breath because..

Ellie was crying.

And not only was Ellie crying, but Ellie was crying for you.

Her green eyes were rimmed red, and her eyelashes were clumping together, and your insides twisted because all you wanted to do was to hold her, pull her into your chest and tell her that it was okay, that you were okay, and that you could be together.

But you couldn’t. Not after what she did.

“Ellie I…I can’t…” you mumbled softly. You opened your mouth to explain further, but you found that you couldn’t speak.

Because Ellie’s like were pressed firmly against yours.

Her long fingers were cupping either side of your face, keeping you close as her lips moved against yours. You gasped softly, trying to break away from her, but she used it as an opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth, and from that point on, you melted into her completely.

You moaned softly, and Ellie was already pushing you back to lay against the couch, her body hovering over yours as she kissed you so deeply, so passionately, you could feel all of the love she had for you seeping into your mouth.

It felt amazing, having you pressed up against her, whining into her mouth and breathlessly begging for more. It was like every dream Ellie had ever had of you was finally coming true…

But she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that came with it.

If this is what Ellie had always wanted, why was it that she felt like she was doing something wrong? Why did it loom over her like a dark cloud, soaking into her core and making her feel terrible about doing this to you…distracting you from everything she’s done with sweet kisses and breathy moans.

She wanted it…god she wanted it more than anything

But this wasn’t right.

She furrowed her eyebrows as she gripped your waist, moaning softly as she pulled away from you. You frown in confusion, staring up at her and searching for what might be wrong, what you had done to make her stop.

“What? What is it Els?” And Ellie swears she’s never heard something so sweet, the nickname you had for her like the sweetest melody she’d ever heard.

She sighed, gently pulling away from you as she shook her head. “This isn’t right…” she mumbled softly. She sits down across from you, her legs spread with her elbows resting on her knees, hunched over a bit.

You frown as you watch her, sitting up and adjusting your tank top, suddenly feeling extremely exposed underneath the girls presence. “Do you…not want me?” You mumble softly. Ellie’s eyes are nearly bulging out of her head as she quickly turns to you, grabbing your face and pulling you close as she shakes her head quickly.

“No! God no I….you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of angel…it’s just…” she sighs, her voice raspy before she starts again. “This isn’t how this is supposed to go…you’re worth so much more than what I’ve given to you…I’ve been mean, and selfish and...And I come here expecting you to just forgive me and...and give yourself to me and...it isn't right.." She sighs out. You pout softly as you listen to her, and you are suddenly remembering all of the things that Ellie said, and you can't help but agree that the wounds are still fresh.

She notices how deep in thought you are, and she uses her strong hands to grip your thighs and pull you so you're straddling her lap. She licks her lips, her hands toying with the plush skin of your thighs as you both stay there for a moment, before she breaks the silence.

"Im not going to convince you that you need to stay in the band...if you really want to leave, thats your decision..but..." She sighs softly.

"Let me prove to you that you're what I want...give me one chance to do this the right way, and I promise princess...you won't regret it.." Her voice is raspy, and it reminds you of all the times she would talk to you while you both laid in bed together and you couldn't sleep. It reminds you of all the times Ellie called you on the phone in the middle night, too high and too needy, just so she could hear your voice.

And it reminds you of how in love you are with Ellie Williams..

Your hands slowly go to rest on her shoulders, your fingers toying with the ends of her hair at the nape of her neck, and you can swear you can see the girl visibly glow the second you give her a nod. In an instant, she's pulling you closer and pressing kisses to your neck, in spots that she knows you're extremely ticklish at. You nudge her gently to stop before you both settle down.

"Thank you angel...I promise...I'll do right by you.." She mumbles softly, her pretty green eyes staring at your plush lips before she leans in, pressing the softest, most gentle kiss to them, almost as if she were afraid she'd break you all over again.

#ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie tlou #ellie x y/n #ellie the last of us #ellie x you

[rookiesbookies]

Captain John MacTavish x His wife x Sergeant Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish

I dont know how it would happen but i'm imagining sweet little Johnny ‘Soap’ Mactavish meeting Captain MacTavish and his wife. I guess this is me rewriting what happened bc Im made we’ll probably never see Neil as his boy again. 

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

Smut smut smut under the cut for my lovely mutual @shotmrmiller of my John and his wife meet sweet little Johnny au thing.

Also @glitterypirateduck this one is for you and #soapitup

“Bhean,” he whispers loudly, following it with squirrel noises, motioning for her to follow. She walks out of the recreational room. He nuzzled bis face into her neck, letting her know he was nervous about what he was going to say. “I'm getting serious deja vu.”

“Talk to me, Goose.” A shameless quote of their favorite date night movie from when they dated made his nervous face crack a smile.

“I have this crazy memory,” he mumbled into her neck, she always worried he’d hurt himself craning it down like that so often.

“What about, don’t leave me on cliff hangers, Mr. MacTavish.”

“Do you remember our first time together?”

“Skiing or fucking? Because I remember both very well.” He chuckled at her bringing up his failed skiing attempts from a vacation they went on.

“Making love, Bonnie.” He hummed, “would you believe me if I told ya it’s because I had done it before?”

“Considering baby you told me he’d call me mommy? Yes. Yes, I would.” She hummed. “You also found my clit really fast which makes that really reasonable in retrospect.”

“What if, like my future self taught me at that stage, we teach him how to make love to you so he can charm you with the monster.” It came out more as a question, making his nerves hammer against his chest. He was more than sure he beloved wife would say yes, but he didn’t want to risk making her uncomfortable or saying it wrong. 

“He does really want to impress me,” she mumbled. “Fine. But there’s ground rules.”

“Of course, Mo chridhe, anything.”

“Just the tip, you know how I am about hygiene. I don’t fully try young you to keep everything clean. He swears to secrecy and if I ever think for a second he mentions this im ending his blood line. And you stay with us. You are my husband after all, not the boy.” The Captain nodded with every word. He’d make sure. He knew the Sergeant would want no harm to come to his future wife, and the Captain didn’t need a scorched relationship.

“Thank you, Mo leannan, it’s what helped me keep up hope I could lock you down when I met you when I was his age.”

“So it was a memory and more than deja vu?” She asked with a raised brow.

The Captain just simply nodded, planting a kiss on her temple, “you’d tell me if you wanted to back out right? If it made you uncomfortable?”

“John.” She was serious, she never called him just ‘John’. “I expect the same from you. And you’d know I’d never keep that from you.”

She reached up to his face and gently rubbed it. He melted just a little bit into her touch. “I assume you don’t plan to do this on base?”

“No, but that’s the hard part.” “I’ll handle it, go tell the mini you,” she said softly, planting a kiss before walking away.

The Captain sighed and let his shoulders relax, he knew he was so lucky to have her. The sergeant was about to be the lucky one though.

He made his way down the hall and stole his past self from a conversation with Gaz. “My wife and I have decided to give you an opportunity to learn more about her.” He said in a low deep voice. “I will be teaching you about her body so you can please her but there are ground rules she set and a few of my own.” Once he covered his wife’s, he got on to his own, “do not bite her, dig your nails into her, or ignore me if I tell you to do something. No coming inside either and don’t try anything.” Sergeant Soap nodded along, “I’m not sure you’re actually listening, sergeant.” The Captain growled. Soap’s eyes went wide, “Captain me, sir, I prayed last night for an opportunity to feel her skin, honestly I was just expecting to be allowed to shake her hand.” The younger Soap grumbled, “believe me, I’m all ears.” “And none of that ‘I have a latex allergy so I can’t wear condoms’ crap. I know we don’t have that allergy. You will be wearing one.” “You’re so no’ fun,” Soap mumbled. “Fine.”

The Captain didn’t entirely know how he felt about the kid creaming his wife. Sure, it was him, but it was a younger, rowdier, dumber him and not his same body. Getting married meant he was the only one allowed to cream pie his wife, and yes, it is a version of him, it wouldn’t be the same as him doing it. Even if his wife is on birth control and enjoys them, he knows he’d get jealous, way too jealous. Besides it’s his job anyway, he signed a paper to be able to do it, and this kid version gets to just randomly do it.

“So when do I get to show mo bhean how a younger body is better to make love with?” Sergeant asked, patting his older self on the back. This made the Captain flip until the voice of an angel spoke up.

“Ya mean when you meet yer own damn wife. Ya wee-” the Captain’s rage was cut off. “Tomorrow night. I’ll be there ahead of schedule to prepare, my husband will drive you.” She said, walking past the two with effortless grace and a sway of her hips. She flicked a piece of hair back over her shoulder. 

The next 24 hours were full of different forms of tension for younger Soap. He was eager, so eager, almost too eager in the Captain’s eye. The Captain’s raging jealousy made him almost want to shut down the whole thing. 

When he loaded the sergeant and himself into the old truck he sighed. “Remember the rules?” “Of course.”

“Can’t believe you still own this truck.” “She’s carried me through a lot.” “When you meet YOUR wife, she’ll appreciate it. Square bodies are her favorites.”

The rest of the drive was small talk. The sergeant saw a notification appear on the Captain’s phone and snatched it up, since the captain was driving. He back read the short conversation from this morning between the Captain and his wife, who had been the notification. ‘Mo chridhe you better not warm yourself up on that clarty vibrator’

‘You expect him to be able to get me warmed up enough?’

‘Its a teaching experience, mo leannan’

‘I don’t want to make him wait too long, I remember how impatient you were <3’

“Does she think ima div?” Soap looked at the Captain and asked. “Reading my personal texts? Real professional, ya eejit.”

“Does she think I can’t make her feel good? Or make her feel like she’s on Eccie?”

“No, she just doesn’t want you to wait too long. She does this. I bought it for her first time I left on a long mission, now she uses it to take away the fun part of getting her warmed up.”

“So she thinks I'm a fandan.”

“Dinnae fash yersel.” The Captain sighed, “we’re here and the least ya can do is make her feel good as a thank you.”

When he dragged his younger self into the hotel room, it finally set in that he was going to be cucked. By a younger him. Fucking his wife.

He knocked on the door twice and it kind of felt like his wedding night all over again. There she stood in a silk robe, eyes only on him with a gentle and soft smile. It's a smile she only gave when she was nervous, he gave a similar smile back to let her know he felt the same. It was subtle, but he reminded him this was indeed his beautiful wife.

“Go strip in the bathroom and sit down in the chair when you’re done, we need to talk.” The Captain said sharply. 

“Aye aye Captain,” the sergeant mumbled, walking into the bathroom. 

The Captain’s hands immediately found his way to his wife’s hips. 

“Are you nervous?” He asked, holding her close with his mouth near her ear between kisses he placed in her hair.

“Of course,” she said softly into his chest.

“Do you need to back out? We can leave and forget all about this if you need.”

“Do you need me to want to back out?” She asked soft, turning her head to look up into his eyes.

“No, I don’t think so, mo bonnie lass.” He said, planting a kiss on her forehead. “Give me a safeword to give him and a safeword for emergencies.”

“Two levels of safe words?” 

“Just in case I don’t hear the first one, he’s kinda loud.” She giggled and placed a kiss on his neck.

“Bubbles for him and Soap for emergencies.”

“My old callsign?”

“I never call you anyway,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Can I undress you and keep that privilege to myself?” All he needed was the little nod she gave before he moved to untie the robe. 

The lace blue bra she had been taunting him with with the matching panties drove him crazy. She ran her hands up and around his chest as his opened the clasp with one motion and undid the hooks holding the straps over her shoulders so she didn't have to remove her hands from his torso.

He sunk down lower as he planted sloppy kisses down her body and removed her underwear. Lovely pacing a kiss at her lower lips before trailing bite marks backup as the Sergeant exited the bathroom.

“I thought you said I couldn’t bite!” He accused as he watched the Captain leave a hickey on his wife’s chest.

“YOU can’t, I can.” This made the younger Soap look offended. The Captain smirked at the Sergeant’s face. “My wife, remember. Not yours.”

His wife just ran her fingers through his slightly grown out mohawk, a means to sooth him. 

Captain MacTavish moved to his wife’s ear and whispered softly, “may I told yer hand through this, mo ghraidh?”

“Gu sìorraidh is gu bràth,” she said back, pointing to the tattoo on her collarbone. When Soap heard it he almost fainted.

“She knows the language?” Sergeant Johnny asked.

The Captain hummed, pulling his mouth away from the dark hickey he was leaving on her neck, “learned a little bit for me.”

The Captain gave his younger self a once over before landing a sarcastic remark as his eyes landed on the bush, “glad to know you haven’t started shaving yet.”

“You trim?”

“Occasionally,” the Captain pulled his waistband down a bit, nuzzling into his wife, “I wax for special occasions. Yer lucky I found one who doesn’t care.”

The Captain locked his fingers with his wife’s, gently herding her to the bed. He laid her down gently and got her into a good position, shoving a few of the lousy pillows under her waist to offer a better angle.

“How are you?” He asked softly, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. “Ready as I can be,” she said with a soft giggle, as he bent down to plant a kiss on her lips.

“Sergeant, come here.” The Captain commanded, pointing at the foot of the bed, his wife couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as she dropped her hand over her face. The Captain moved his wife’s knees apart with his free hand, the other still lovingly holding her’s. Johnny got on his own knees as John commanded him as he spread his wife’s pussy lips apart with his fingers. “Ya see that?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, sir,” John corrected Johnny. He basically gave his younger self a tour of his wife’s softest pieces. Telling Johnny her favorite things that he does and what she reacts best to. Johnny was so enthralled with her body he could move his eyes anywhere else. Especially when John put his fingers inside and curled them suddenly making her gasp so Johnny knew how far in her g spot was. The way her body jolted and softly raised as the gasp left her lips was his new favorite thing. He was so jealous he didn’t have her yet. That she wasn’t his wife yet, that he didn’t have the liberty to mark her body yet. “Get to work,” the Captain said, patting Johnny. He didn’t need to say it twice because Johnny went right in.

The wife brought her free hand down to her mouth to hold in the gasps and moans as Johnny ate so eagerly. John was usually slow and sensual, to the messy and a vehement eating that was happening at her core was a much different sensation. John gently pulled her hand away.

“Checkin in with ya, are ya doing good?” he asked his lovely wife. Her eyes couldn’t focus, her mouth gaping and shutting. 

She gave a nod and a hum as her body started to clench as Johnny inserted fingers between her legs and curled, making her body lurch towards the sky and gasp. The Captain gently placed kisses on her face, her velvety cries just make Johnny want to do it again. “She’s even prettier from this view,” Johnny mumbled, spreading her apart with his fingers.

“She donnae like condoms but imma make ye wear one anyway,” Captain Mactavish told his younger self before placing a kiss to the forehead of his flushed wife, still coming down from her orgasm as her husband ran his fingers through her hair as her breathing slowed with her closed eyes. John threw the condom at Johnny, who quickly rolled it on before standing up. “Donnae force it in, go in slow.”

Johnny positioned himself, putting one of the lovely wife’s ankles to his shoulder before giving it a soft kiss. He didn’t dare pull her down the bed like he would have normally done, he walked on his knees to meet her. Hands sliding down her legs to lift her ass, one he saw as so perfect.

He slowly slid it in as John kissed his wife’s face, holding her hand. She was more than used to John’s dick by now, but she was far from used to Johnny’s pacing. So much energy and stamina, not to say John didn’t have it but John was definitely more about making love than he was about fucking or just having sex.

Once she started to grind her hips, Johnny’s face lit up and he immediately started a toe curly, back arching pace. His tip bullied her g spot, making her mouth fall open but no sound falling from her lips.

John cooed at her as Johnny bullied her soft parts, not caring about his own pleasure, solely the pleasure of this goddess in front of him. Once he was sure he had found the spot, Johnny folded her a bit more to hit it a bit deeper, making sure everything was dragging against her.

The only thing that left her were whines, she felt her melted brain might just spill out her ears as the white, staticy heat built up. 

A nice ring built up around Johnny’s cock as he began to roll his hips. Her pulsating cunt milked him so much he felt an almost numbness in his fingers as all he could do was hold her and roll his hips as she let out a broken moan and came. Her husband’s voice echoing around her head with praises and loving words.

It was down right impossible for Soap to not come from her body's pulsations so he did. He wished it hadn’t been into a condom but he was grateful he just got the chance.

John gave him a look and Johnny took it knowingly, going to get a warm and damp towel. He handed it to John who began to clean his wife up, nodding to Johnny to let him know he could leave. 

Johnny didn’t know it was so John could reclaim his wife with some slow sensual sex and lots of love bites.

John, unlike Johnny, was going to come inside. Johnny looked at the photo he had taken of himself with the wife of Captain John from the night prior, "I'm going to marry you. Yer the one I've been looking for."

#cod x reader #call of duty #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish #captain mactavish #soapitup

[leviathanspain]

little hell

finnick odair x reader

synopsis: you wished more than anything that he had left you to die in that arena, because nothing could hurt more than seeing him with her

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

watching their ceremony had felt like you had drank poison. a burning fire had been brewing in your abdomen, and as they kissed, you had to swallow the bile that threatened to come out.

finnick had turned to face the onlookers, and smiled as he held annie’s hand. only you could notice the smile faltering as he gazed over you, and you looked down, not wanting to look at him any longer.

you had abandoned the wedding early, excusing yourself with the pain in your leg, that hadn’t bothered you since your days in the infirmary, but it was good enough.

you fought tears until you got behind closed doors, where with the commotion of the celebration, hid away the noises of your sobs. finnick knew, and you too had known, that annie would always hold a flame to his heart, but it was you who allowed yourself to fall in love, and it was him who gave you the hope.

days later, a soft knock on your door rang out and finally you had peeled yourself out of your bed to answer it. you couldn’t hide your surprise when you saw it was katniss, looking pale in her grey jumpsuit.

you let her in without question, and moved to sit on your bed, with katniss closing the door behind her.

you raised an eyebrow, “katniss. honestly you’re the last person i would expect to be here.”

katniss didn’t say anything for a moment, until finally, “i doubt you expected anyone at all.” you let out a bitter laugh, and nodded, “i suppose you are correct.”

katniss nodded, “but i’m not. finnick has been asking about you.”

you scoffed, “why does he even care? he’s a married man, he’s with her..” you trailed off, “im just here, the other woman..” you trailed off, and katniss swallowed thickly.

“i cant say anything for him,” she admitted, “but i will say that he is horrible for what he did- and how he lied to you both.” you nodded, forgetting completely about annie, who was oblivious to his indiscretions.

katniss had stayed with you for another moment, where she sat in a comforting silence.

finnick had been looking for you throughout the compound. he had hug onto annie as she did to him, but his eyes would still clear a room looking for you.

he had finally found you, and pulled himself away from annie with just a good enough excuse.

he made his way to you, and you turned to meet his eyes. you rolled your eyes, and sharply turned back on your heel, your feet carrying you to somewhere you didn’t even know you were going.

finnick called your name, desperation in his voice, you felt him hot on your feet. without thinking, he grabbed your arms, and threw you against the wall.

you gasped, and turned to see no one had even batted an eye at his slight aggression, but you were now in no position to ignore him.

finnick swallowed, looking down, “i’m sorry. for having to do this but you won’t talk to me otherwise.” you nodded your head slightly, and sighed, “and?” finnick inhaled, “i should have told you about annie. i- i don’t know what i was thinking.”

“i don’t either finnick. if you had any fucking brains, you would’ve left me to die out there, so you wouldn’t have to see my face around here, and feel that guilt.” you felt your eyes rim with tears, and you sniffled, “you should’ve killed me. done the mercy, finnick. and there’s not a day that goes by that i don’t hate you for what you didn’t do.”

finnick exhaled, and his voice felt shaky, as did his grip on your hands, “i know. i should’ve told you about annie, i should’ve stopped it but-“ he shrugged, “i love you.” he whispered.

you blinked and tears fell onto your cheeks, “you cant say that. you cant say that!” you pulled your arms free and threw him back. finnick fell back onto the wall and stared at you in shock, “you don’t get to fucking say that.” you yelled, and felt yourself heat with anger.

you shook your head, giving finnick one last look before you left him there.

#finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick x you #finnick x reader #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair oneshots #finnick odair #finnick odair smut #hunger games imagine #hunger games fluff #hunger games angst

[blackelysian]

Situationship.

Duke Dennis x Black! Fem! Reader as Makena

Word Count: 1,449

Warnings: 18+ smut, fluff, toxic relationship

Summary: Tired of this situationship between you and Duke you decide its just better to end things. Duke wants to make it right.

Makena POV

A sigh escaped my lips as I aimlessly scroll through my phone. It was now 3 am and Duke still wasn’t here yet. I sent a text to his phone for the one hundredth time.

                                                                       It's late, don't even worry about coming anymore… Sent.

No reply. Once again.

I watched his story and saw that he posted something 30 minutes ago. He was out with his friends at some party or function with some bitch grabbing his face. At that point I was fed up, annoyed and kinda hurt. I throw my phone to the side and sit up. He’s been blowing me off all night after he told me he was coming over so we could spend some time together. One stop and I'm on my way, I Love you”  was the last response I got from him. Tears streamed down my face. Not only was I mad at him I was mad at myself for even allowing my feelings to get wrapped up in whatever you wanna call this. Duke and I have been messing around for almost a year now but he never officially asked me to be his girlfriend. He helps me with my bills, buys me whatever I want, fucks me good, but there was no actual commitment. He uses the excuse of he doesn’t want to hurt me, but this hurts way worse. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone dinging, indicating I had just got a text. I hover my face over my phone revealing the message from him. 

Im outside

I layed back down on the bed ignoring his text. Next thing I know I hear my front door unlocking.

I groaned annoyingly. I need to get my key back from this nigga. I can hear his feet making their way to my bedroom before he slides my door open, stumbling in. He casually makes his way over to me leaning down to peck me on the lips but he was met with the palm of my hand.

“So you just goin walk in here late as a motherfucka and act like nothing's wrong??” She raised her voice at him.

“Come on boo don’t start that, i'm here now right? That's all that should matter'' He asks nonchalantly, going back in for another attempted kiss. I quickly jumped up and moved around him.

“You know, I don’t think I wanna do this anymore Duke..”I say looking away from him.

“Do what Makena?”

“THIS” I raise my voice again, pointing between the two of us. “This is getting old and I'm tired of sitting around waiting on you to see how good of a woman I am..tired of waiting on you to respect me! I’m done.” I snapped. 

“What do you mean you're done?”

“I'm done, We are done! And you need to give me back my key!” He chuckles at me.

“You trippin’ im not going any fucking where” He simply says, slideing his shoes off.

“Why don’t you just let me go Duke?” I questioned. “Why continue to string me along huh? You don’t want to be with me at this point so what's the point of keeping this going?”

“Makena,You know I love you. I just don't want to hurt you” He states, pulling me in front of him.

“You don’t think this hurts already?” I hold my hand up. “You know what, I just want you to go, i'll give you a minute to get whatever stuff you have here and leave my fuckin key” I turn my back to him not even giving him a chance to respond, heading for the bathroom to take a long, hot shower. I needed to clear my mind and hopefully by the time I got out that asshole would be gone for good.

Omniscient POV

After about 20 minutes, Duke enters the bathroom. He sees Makena’s naked silhouette through the foggy glass shower. He looks over to see her music softly playing from her bluetooth speaker. He quickly strips out of his clothes and slides in the steaming hot shower. The breeze runs a chill down Makena’s spine as he slides the door back closed. 

She quickly turns around. “I thought I told you to go?” She asks, rolling her eyes.

“We not done talking yet” He wraps his arms around her, bringing her body close to his.

“Duke, please don’t do this to me right now. Just let me go and leave” she says, trying to unwrap his arms from around her. He holds her tight.

“What do you want? Whatever you want I’ll give it to you. Just don’t leave me baby” 

“He can’t be serious..” She thought. But with the look on his face she knew this was far from a joke. But she couldn’t give in. What would he think of her if she just took him back so easily? Why now did he want to do the right thing? 

“It's a little too late fo-”

“Be my girlfriend?” He cuts her off, looking in her eyes with adoration.

“Wow really?” She asks sarcastically. “ Now you want to ask me? It's only because I'm telling you I'm done with you that you want to act right now” She says disgustingly, rolling my eyes and pushing him away from her. 

“Baby I'm serious!” He exclaims, grabbing her again. “I can’t lose you, whatever you want me to do I'll do it. I want to make it right, I have to make it right. Give me just one more chance and I promise we won’t have to have this conversation no more”

“I don’t know what to say Duke…” She says lowly, looking down and away from him. He drops to his knees in the oversized walk in shower, grabbing onto her waist. He places gentle kisses along her stomach trailing down to her womanhood. 

“Say yes” He says softly, placing a kiss right on top of her clit. Her breath hitches in her throat. 

“Say yes baby..” He throws her left leg over his shoulder and places a few more kisses on her wet center before completely devouring her. He made sure to take his time pleasing her. He wanted to show her that he meant what he said.

“Duke..no” She trails off, throwing her head back as he lapped her up like a thirsty dog. His thumb finds her clit drawing small circles on it. 

“Be my girlfriend baby” He says again, looking up to watch her love faces. She begins to feel her orgasm build in her stomach as she grinds down on his face. “Shit i'm almost there” She gasps. He stops immediately, getting up and turning off the shower before picking her up and walking her out the shower. 

“You don’t get to cum until you say yes.” He wraps a towel around her wet body, bending her over the sink, the two making eye contact in the mirror. She could see the lust and longing in his face. He rubs his member up and down her slick womanhood before roughly sliding into her in one swift motion. 

“Fuck” she groaned out as he starting to deliver rough,delicious strokes. 

“You goin be my girlfriend baby?” He asks yet again, brushing some of her curls out her face. Her mouth falls open but nothing comes out. He delivers a smack to her ass. “Answer me baby” He groans, going deeper bottoming out. 

“Oh shitt, Yess” She moans out blissfully.

“Say it” He says, pulling out and sitting on the side of the tub, pulling her back on him and sliding in again. He starts to work her up and down his member.

“Say it Makena” He states firmly.

“Ima be your girlfriend babyy” She blurts out.

“Yea?” He says with a smile, kissing you along the side of your face and neck as he still bounces you on him. Makena starts to throw it back on him, pulling out her best moves to show him that it doesn’t get any better than this. 

“Oh fuckk mama” He grunts, grabbing the back of her neck turning her to face him. 

“Gimme kiss” They lean into each other and give each other the sloppiest kiss ever. 

“Hmmm baby im cumming” She cries out, picking up her speed.

“Cum on your dick” His words were like a catalyst for her orgasm, which rips through her like a tornado. He finishes right behind her, pulling out and releasing on the rug. She turns to kiss him once again.

“Mm we not finished yet. I still have a lot of making up to do.” He says with a lustful grin on his face.

A/N: Makena definitely DID NOT stand on business 😭😭

#black stories #black reader #duke dennis x black!reader #black love #black writers #black smut #black fanfiction #smutty #imagine #x reader #fem reader #fluff

[beanxiv]

NAGI X READER WHEN HE CALLS THEM A PAIN AND THEY GET SAD SO HE COMFORT THEM -🌷 anon

waiting ; nagi seishiro ✩࿐

warnings: hurt/comfort (im so bad at writing hurt/comfort so pretend this is good), petnames, nagi being mean (at the beginning), communication issues :/, established relationship

notes: nagi is definitely the type to bottle in all of his frustration and then take it out on you unintentionally, but its ok i can change him.

wc: 1.9k

"sei, can we watch a movie together?" you sit on one end of the couch while nagi lays on his stomach next to you (feet by your thighs and head facing the opposite arm rest) taking up the rest of the couch. his nose is buried in his phone screen, explosions and other video game sounds blasting from the speaker.

"uhhm, 'kay. lemme finish this round." your boyfriend mumbles, not bothering to look over his shoulder at you.

you sigh, but decide to stay patient. "okay, baby." you fiddle with the tv remote as you wait. when a couple minutes pass you tilt your head to glimpse at nagi's face. "done yet, shiro?"

"no. wait."

you frown, "okay.. but you've been playing for an hour before i asked you to watch a movie and you said you'd finish this round fifteen minutes ago."

"oh, my bad. i accidentally started a new round. i have t'finish the round now, can't pause an online game. just gimme a few more minutes." he still barely acknowledges you, nothing more than a slight shrug of his shoulders.

when another ten minutes pass your patience starts to wear thin. "seishiro, do you want to watch a movie together or—"

"i said wait a few minutes. the round is still goin— ah, fuck! you made me die.." nagi clicks his tongue in annoyance. pushing up off his elbows to sit up and angrily tossing his phone on the carpet. "goddamn, y/n. you're such a pain sometimes."

you blink, an ache building deep in your chest. "what?" you swallow the lump in your throat away. "i asked you if you wanted to watch a movie. you said yes and told me to wait. i waited fifteen minutes and asked again. you told me to wait. i waited again. i stayed patient for thirty minutes. now you're calling me a pain? after barely even looking at me today? you haven't talked to me since you came home from practice three hours ago!" you scoff in spite of yourself, "..really, seishiro. if you wanted space, you could have told me."

you see the weight of nagi's words start to process in his eyes, "shit— i didn't mean that, y/n. wait—"

"i'm tired of waiting, nagi." with that you slide off the couch and walk into your shared bedroom, slamming the door shut before nagi can see tears of frustration threaten to spill over your eyes.

when the door shuts loudly nagi flinches but doesn't move from the couch. he sits there, swearing under his breath and running a hand down his face. "i'm such a fucking idiot.." he wishes he could kick himself for his stupid mouth. the image of your face completely falling into bitter sorrow when he called you a pain replays in his head. regret freezes his veins, and his own heart starts to ache each time your expression fills his brain.

he swears at himself again before jumping off the couch and rushing to your shared bedroom. he hesitates but manages to knock twice on the door.

"y/n, baby. i'm so sorry. please," he chews on his lip. please what? he doesn't even know what he's asking for. please open the door, please forgive me, or please talk to me? he doesn't know. he'll take any option at the moment.

he hears you shuffle to the door and sniff. are you crying? his heart breaks a little bit more at the thought of you hurt because of his idiocy.

"nagi, i meant what i said." you still haven't opened the door. but talking through the wood is better than nothing. "i'm tired of this. it's not the first time this has happened. you've ignored me a lot before. i understand if you want time for yourself, i do too sometimes. but don't tell me you're going to do something with me and not mean it."

"i know, y/n. i'm sorry, i just.." nagi isn't known for his way with words. he's not used to voicing his every thought. but he's willing to make the effort to fix his mistake and make it up to you. "practice sucked today. i was in a shitty mood after and i took it out on you when i shouldn't have."

he hears you sigh. the lock on the door clicks and you pull the door open. nagi searches your face for any indication of your reaction. his heart drops at the sight of your red, puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

he wants to pull you tight against himself— kiss the hurt away— but he holds himself in place. he doesn't want to push his limits until you completely forgive him.

"why didn't you just tell me? we've been dating for so long now, do you still not feel comfortable enough to tell me things?"

"no! i do. i just— today was so stressful, i just wanted to lock myself up in the house and play games to get my mind off of it. i didn't realize i'd been ignoring you all day, i'm sorry."

you let out a laugh that doesn't quite reach your eyes, "see? nagi, you could have told me all of this hours ago. none of this would have happened." you have a bitter look in your eyes that tells nagi you're still upset. "it would've been that easy. just a simple 'hey, y/n i had a rough day today, and i'm not really in the mood to do anything today.' and i would have respected that and moved on."

he steps forward and takes your hands in his, "angel, i'm sorry. really sorry for calling you a pain. i swear i didn't mean it. it was— i was projecting my frustration onto you when i should have just communicated it and found an output a different way. you're the farthest thing from a pain. you're— you're honestly the reason why i'm living my life," nagi breathes out a laugh. "if it weren't for you my routine would just be wake up, football, games, eat, sleep, repeat. and not only that, you're beautiful, inside and out. and you make me laugh, and you make really good food for me, and you help me take care of choki. actually, not only that— you help me take care of myself too. honestly, i don't know if i could survive without you, y/n. so please, please forgive me, angel."

you chew on your bottom lip, "nagi—"

nagi winces, "and please stop calling me that."

this pulls a ghost of a smile onto your lips which sends a flutter through nagi's heart. you think to yourself for a moment and the smile fades slightly. "seishiro, a relationship works two ways. you know that. for it to work you have to talk to me. tell me everything— if practice went well, tell me. if it was absolute shit, still tell me. if you feel like doing something, tell me. if you don't, tell me again. i didn't start dating you just for the title, sei. i want to be with you. i want to know what makes you happy, what stresses you out— i want to know everything you'll allow me to. in exchange, i'll trust you with my heart too."

nagi presses his lips together in a tight line, "i trust you with everything. you know i do. fuck, i trust you with some things more than i trust myself." nagi sighs through his nose, his eyes a window of rare vulnerability. a window that opened only for you. "i can tell you anything, y/n, i know i can. i just don't know how. it's not something i do. i mean before you moved in with me, i lived alone during high school-- until blue lock-- and i didn't talk to anyone except reo in school. i'm not used to talking about myself and what's on my mind. the only thing i ever spilled my thoughts to was choki— my cactus for fucks sake," nagi laughs dryly. he felt pathetic telling you something so stupid. it reminded him why he kept his heavier thoughts to himself. but...

"well, you have me now. ah, and choki too if it helps," is that a smile? you're smiling— only slightly, but a smile nonetheless.

does that mean you've forgiven him? no... even if you do forgive him, he still owes you a proper apology. he wont let you walk away without it.

"i think you're a better listener than choki," nagi admits. when he expected you to scoff in his face and turn away, you stayed and continued talking with him. "i just took to long to understand that. and i promise to work on it. i'm sorry, angel. i never want to hurt you, i only want to see you happy."

"thank you, 'shiro." you murmur, finally looking up at him. nagi searches your expression for any remnants of pain and he sees none, as soon as he sees the soft look in your eyes he exhales, all of his worry leaving his chest. you smile slightly, squeezing his hand a bit. "i accept your apology. and ill try to be patient too, i understand it takes time to completely share all of your thoughts and feelings, so i won't push if you don't want to tell me anything, but at least tell me that much if you don't feel like talking."

nagi nods, "i will. i promise, i swear i'll work on it. thank you, yn. thank you for forgiving me." he can't help himself anymore, and pulls you snug to his chest, his arms right around your waist as he buries his head into the crook of your neck. "i love tou so much.. i would beat myself up if i lost you because i'm a moron."

you giggle a bit, your hand coming up to card through his hair. "mhm, you are kind of a moron."

"yeah?" nagi chuckles back, sighing softy. you feel his breath fan against your neck and pull him from the crook of your neck to look at him.

"yeah, you are. but as long as we both work on communicating, we'll be okay." a grin tugs at your lips as you look at your boyfriend.

nagi nods, his soft white hair swishing a bit as he does. "i promise t'communicate better, angel. or at least i'll try my best for you."

"and that's all i'm asking for," you murmur, the grin still on your face as you lean towards nagi to plant a kiss on his lips.

nagi returns your kiss before pulling away to look at you, "you wanted t'watch a movie together earlier.. right?"

"are you sure?" you chew on your lip, looking at him with a furrow between your brows that he wants to kiss away. "if you're still not feeling up to it, it's oka-"

"i want to," nagi interrupts, pulling you in by your waist to kiss between your brows. "so let's go cuddle and watch something."

taglist : @astruosie @saesins @dreamlessimp @hanmasdolly

©beanxiv — all rights reserved. copying, reposting, translating, and modifying in any platform or by any means is not allowed.

#i think i hate this.. #can u tell i dont usually write angst/hurt #im so used to writing fluff i had no clue how to go about this #i bullshitted this whole request im so sorry anon #😭😭 #beanxiv writes #blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #nagi seishiro #seishiro nagi #nagi seishiro x reader #seishiro nagi x reader #nagi x reader #nagi blue lock #blue lock nagi #hurt/comfort

[dxckgrxsonx]

soo… can we get more dickpic storyline?? IM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU 🙏🙏🙏😩😩

okay. so this took longer than i wanted. on the upside, i've got about seven different scenes half written out because this fought me every step of the way.

Jason gets a little jealous in this one which i will explore in the next part ;)

MASTERLIST // SERIES MASTERLIST

**

“Do you have to go?”

Panic snaps tight like an elastic band around your chest and you whirl a full hundred-and-eighty degrees to face Jason, breath still frozen solid in your throat.

There’s a pout settled on his face, bottom lip pushed out just slightly, eyes downcast. He looks almost…pathetic really for someone who has the potential to be dangerous. A mean looking bruise grabs at his jaw and annoyingly, it almost makes you cave right there and then.

“Will you stop doing that!” You snap, pitching a tube of lipgloss in his direction. “The idea of dying from a heart attack is so embarrassing. I either die in an epic shoot-out, or I simply just do not die.”

Catching the tube with one hand Jason grumbles and flops face-first onto your bed, “I can’t believe you’re leaving me.” He whines, voice muffled by the duvet. “I bought us facemasks. You’re denying me beautifully moisturised skin. This is the worst thing you’ve ever done.”

“Aw, poor baby.” You mock, standing up from your dresser and draping yourself across his well muscled back. “Is this worse than the time I blew up your microwave? Or the time you asked me to look after your plants and I accidentally killed them?”

Grabbing a pillow, Jason reaches behind him and wacks you with it, “You’re a horrible person and you’re going directly to hell.”

Sniggering, you balance on your knees as Jason shifts underneath you. Once he’s settled so he’s facing upwards you seat yourself comfortably on his stomach. Jason looks at you with nothing but disappointment when you request his attention by sticking a finger in his mouth, but you ignore him and ask, “Will you be there?”

“Get your fucking finger out of my mouth before I bite it off.” He garbles.

“What was that? I can’t understand you.” Grinning to yourself, Jason rolls his eyes and sinks his teeth into your finger. He bites down hard enough for it to fucking hurt and you yell whilst yanking it free. “That was attempted murder. You’re definitely going to hell with me.”

Jason doesn’t reply and you feel the pause in the air. It makes you nervous and you can’t decide if it’s in a good way or not.

“You look really nice.” He suddenly blurts out, and you pause in your anxious examination of your now injured finger. He swallows thickly when you look at him like he’s grown another head, pink splotching clumsily across his cheeks. “But you’re missing something.”

“Yeah.” You agree, trying to control your voice without letting him know that your heart is shaking at the bars of your ribs. “A finger without teeth marks.”

The pink starts dipping to caress his throat and you shift just slightly on his lap, getting worked up about just how far down that colour could reach if you pushed him a little more.

Opening his palm, Jason reveals your lipgloss and he twists it open. You expect him to hand it over to you so you can apply it yourself, but Jason–forever full of surprises–reaches out his steady hand and goes to apply it for you.

His swipes with the wand applicator are precise and you rub your lips together to get them evenly coated, but you end up smudging a small blob of gloss at the corner of your mouth.

Jason’s lips quirk up at the edge and he silently wipes the excess away with the pad of his thumb before you get a chance to even raise your hand.

“There you go.” He says, and his voice is thicker than normal, heavier. “Now you look perfect.”

You find yourself lost for words.

It doesn’t happen often. But sometimes you find yourself grasping at thin air, letters slipping between your fingers like sand.

Well, that's not entirely true.

The right letters are there, but you just don’t know how to hold them yet. And you don’t know what would happen if you stopped hoarding them behind your teeth.

How strange that the fear of something unknown can keep you from being happy; how unbelievably human that is.

Touching the tips of your fingers to the bruise on Jason's jaw you sigh, almost like it’s causing you pain. The colour is dark–recent–not yet starting to heal. Jason exhales and tips his head to the side, baring his throat and letting you explore the edges of the bruising. His eyes slip closed and there's a yearning throb inside you swelling up at just how much trust Jason has in you to be vulnerable.

His hands come to rest on your thighs, thumbs digging into the soft flesh. Sweeping your fingers at the very bottom of the discolouration something catches your eye.

A thin white line stretching across his jugular.

It looks like he’s had this throat sliced open.

Pulling your hand back you say Jason’s name in a near horrified whisper and he turns his head to look at you. There’s something there, written in the lines of his face and the way he looks at you–like you’re everything–but neither of you say a word.

A sudden smile lights up your face despite the sharp wedge of something like grief in your chest and you plant a sticky kiss across Jason’s cheek, “Mwah!”

“Fuck you so much.” Jason says, shoving your head away and wiping the lipgloss from his cheek, but he smiles back at you, Lazarus eyes glittering. “For the record–”

“Oh no you don’t. If the next words out of your mouth are something stupid like, ‘for the record I know you ate the leftover pizza in my fridge last night’ then I’m not listening.”

“For. The. Record…” Jason starts again, “If you’re with me in hell. Then it’s not hell.”

“You’re such a fucking sap, Todd.” Shoving your entire palm in his face he makes a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat and swats at your thigh. “Sweet talk isn’t going to make me stay home tonight. I’m going out and it’s going to be fun!”

**

You’ve got seven messages to say your friends are waiting outside and you wrestle open your door with a growl then turn to face Jason who’s sprawled out on your couch.

“If I don’t text you by one–”

“I’ll come look for you.” Jason finishes. He’s got a mug of tea in his hands and he picks up the book he left on your coffee table the last time he was at your apartment. “Have fun! Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Pfft. I’ve never been stupid a day in my life.”

“Hey! Remember that time when you–”

“Nope!” You interject loudly whilst Jason laughs. “I’m leaving now.”

**

Your shoes keep sticking to the floor.

Resting with one elbow on the bar you sip at your drink and throw a glance around the crowded club. Bodies are jammed together on the dancefloor and as the music swells the crowd rises to match. The entire atmosphere is electric, the push and pull of thrumming bass and alcohol making your hips sway easily to the beat.

“Well hello there, pretty thing. Can I buy you a drink?”

Pointedly glancing down at the glass in your hand with a slight quirk of your mouth you look up and make eye contact with the guy standing beside you. The first thing you notice is that he looks completely out of place; like he would be more at home somewhere quiet. He fiddles with the sleeve of his shirt and you quickly realise that he’s nervous.

It’s almost endearing if not for the whole ‘pretty thing’ thing.

“God.” He says, laughing to himself and rubbing the back of his neck. “That was absolutely horrible–there’s literally a drink in your hand. I’m so sorry. I must admit, this isn’t usually something I do.”

Across the club you watch as your friends zero in on you, waiting for any sign you need intervention–or an escape. Just the knowledge that they’ve got your back is enough for you to loosen your shoulders slightly.

The air around you twists and swells. Someone else has your back too.

“I agree. That was horrible. I mean, pretty thing? Really?” Someone says from behind you, their voice eerily familiar and sharp. A firm arm snakes around your middle and the memory of having that same thick arm wrapped around you whilst you slept flashes bright behind your eyes. “She’s not interested.”

You've never heard Jason sound like that before. He sounds almost possessive, maybe even jealous and it feels like someone just jammed a taser into your ribs and shot you full of fifty-thousand volts.

“The fuck are you doing here?” You ask, leaning back against his chest, skin warm and buzzing. “But also, thank fuck you’re here. Did you hear that guy? Pretty thing? Seriously? I’ve never felt more objectified.”

Jason laughs and rests his head on your shoulder, “It was boring waiting for you to get back and I didn’t feel like doing facemasks on my own. What are you drinking?”

“Something fruity.” Comes your response and you lift the glass so Jason can take the straw between his teeth. “Are you sure you didn’t just miss me?”

Humming as he takes a sip Jason lets the straw go and turns so he can press his mouth against the shell of your ear, “And if I did miss you?”

Your whole body shudders at the tone of his voice and you just barely manage to stop the whine from coming out of your mouth. His arm tightens around your waist and you can’t deny just how good it feels to have him close like this.

“You could have just called. I would’ve come home, you know?”

“I did call.” Jason rumbles, and you pull out your phone to check. “See. I called you twice and you didn’t answer. You’ve really hurt my feelings.”

“Oh here we go again. You’re always talking about your feelings.” Jamming your elbow backwards and into his ribs, Jason recoils in offence. “I hurt your feelings when I stole all your socks. I hurt them when I burnt that cake in your oven. I even hurt them that one time I laughed when you fell down the stairs.”

“I can’t help that I’m sensitive!” Jason defends, the pitch of his voice touching the roof. He shifts to pinch your waist and you smack the back of his hand.

Patting his arm you spin around to face him, and when you glance up at him you suddenly turn thoughtful–emotional.

“You’ve just got a big heart.” You say softly, reaching up to brush your fingers through the white streak in his hair. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Jason pauses, and you let your hand drop back to your side.

“And yet you laugh at me when I fall down the stairs.”

“Of course.” You deadpan. “Because it’s really fucking funny.”

**

You took your shoes off a few blocks back and they’re hanging from your fingers as Jason gives you a piggy-back ride home. You were fine until you stepped one foot outside the club and then the hit of somewhat fresh air sent your head spinning.

“I really hope my ass isn’t out.” You mumble, head resting on his shoulder. “No one needs to see what underwear I’ve got on.” Jason sighs like every word out of your mouth causes him physical pain. “At least I hope I’ve got underwear on.”

“You are a goddamn disaster.” He says, mostly to himself. Shifting you further up his back when you start to slide down he grumbles, “For fucks sake you’re not making this easy.”

“I live to please.”

“I think I might actually hate you just a little bit.”

“Rude. Now you’ve hurt my feelings.”

“Now, now, pretty thing.” Jason mocks. “Having your feelings hurt is my thing, not yours. So shut up.”

Breaking out into giggles you tuck your face into Jason’s neck and sigh, “The only person I want to call me pretty is you, Jay.”

“Well I’m not going to do it now.”

Without thinking you sink your teeth into his neck and bite down hard enough for it to bruise. Jason stops dead in the middle of the street, his rough hands flex around your thighs and you honest to god hear him moan.

It sounds almost exactly the same as it does on the videos and you shiver.

“Y’make such pretty noises, Jason.” You praise, and run your tongue along the indents of your teeth in his skin. Goosebumps flare up his forearms and you feel him swallow. You wonder for a split second if he’s blushing again. You wonder how far down it goes this time. “My sensitive boy.”

Yawning loudly, you slump your head back against his shoulder, and Jason starts walking forwards again, his pace uneven.

“M’tired.” You slur, half asleep.

“Almost there.” Jason reassures, “My pretty girl.”

**

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x reader series #jason todd x you #red hood x reader #red hood x you #dickpic!jason x reader #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #asks #answered #ella writes

[nyancrimew]

fucked up sorta intoxicated long vent

cw: uuh mental health, drugs, suicide mentions, very much is just an existential crisis put into post form

this is not a suicide note or anything, im about to go cuddle up with my wife and go to sleep i just had to get my fucked up thoughts out, i might delete this tomorrow

meaning

it's so hard to find meaning in life anymore. i live for those around me, for those i love, those who love me back. yet i keep hurting them, everything keeps falling apart. i live out of spite, i cant let authority win. yet im slowly giving up my cause. i live to prove a point. ive long forgotten what point it even is anymore.

there hasnt really been any new compelling reason to keep going in over 10 years now. i honestly wonder how much it even really takes anymore to drive me to suicide. it can't be that much, im already always living on edge.

i just barely know who i even am anymore, ive largely forgotten the first 20 years of my life, and the last 3 are mostly just fog as well. forced to live in the moment, carrying all the baggage of all the previous moments i dont even have memories of anymore.

how are people just like able to keep living, regularly finding joy. how are people able to deal with bad times without immediately pondering all the ways in which they could kill themselves in?

god i need therapy so fucking bad. i keep dragging down everyone around me. how can i fix all the damage ive done, a sorry won't do. how can i fix all the damage done to me, no sorry will ever do.

why are the only options to just keep going, ignoring all the pain, or ending it all forever. where is the restart button, where can i reset, rewind, apply what ive learned to the situations where i fucked up. how do i go back and undo all the trauma. the trauma i experienced myself and the trauma i put on others.

we're all just lost children in a world not made for us. where is our world. where is the place in which we can find solace. your arms make me feel safe, and at home. but i know you feel the same way i do.

it pains me to know we're in this together, god if only i could bear your pain, if only i could bear everyone elses pain. it hurts me to know you feel this way too. no one should have to know how this feels. i wanna take on all the pain in this world so i can leave and turn the world around.

am i just failing at being a part of this society or is society failing me. i am like one bureaucratic fuck up away from dying alone on the street with no roof over my head. i cannot be self dependent, why does this society fully expect such a thing of me.

is this all worth it for the few moments of bliss, for sparing the people around me from the pain of losing me. would the pain of losing me be greater than the pain i cause every day?

i am lost. i dont know anymore. fuck i need therapy. or just anything that can fix me. the drugs certainly haven't yet, but at least i also have dependency to fight with now i guess.

yea fuck man idk

#mental health #yea idk #i was originally gonna just throw this on my blog #but while i want this to be read by people i think i want to at least somewhat control the spread of it #feel free to leave input and nice replies and stuff

[dickmastersfruit]

now im thinking about angst (with whatever ending) where lucifer and the reader were already having a not great day and then when he needs something for one of his new creations and he calls for the reader to get it he accidentally calls the reader lilith

Just talk to me

Pairing: Lucifer x F!Reader

Warnings: use of Y/n (once), language, and a dumb nickname

Word Count: 1088

There had been no reason for how the two of you felt that day. Maybe it was something in the air, or the way he slept, or maybe it had just been you. Whatever it was Lucifer had been way more irritable than normal. Everything seemed to tick him off, the way you breathed, the way you said his name, every word that rolled off your tongue seemed to strike a nerve. 

“Just talk to me” You begged as he walked away from you. You watched his figure disappear into the dark hallway as if he had never been there in the first place. You huffed out a breath as he continued to ignore you.

“Whatever” You whispered to yourself as you stared at the workshop door he had disappeared into.

You were certain you hadn't done anything wrong. Constantly going over what had happened in the last 24 hours. You had a lovely dinner and he was a sweetheart. There was nothing wrong, it had been a perfect night. You want to bed in each other's arms, yet the next morning he seemed to hate you. 

You stayed in the living room waiting for him to get over whatever was happening. You waited hours before suddenly a noise caught your attention. A loud crash sounded before his voice broke the silence that happened after. 

“Sweetheart” His voice called out which instantly had you running toward his workshop.

“Yeah what?” You asked worried as you opened the door slowly revealing him sitting on a swivel chair at his work desk. You looked around the workshop noticing papers and little ducks all over the floor. There were mini ducks of you and Charlie and one of alastor that had a fork in it’s head.

“Lilith could you-” He instantly stopped.

“What” You said as it registered whose name he had said. Your face fell as he turned around to look at you. “Oh” You whispered more to yourself. Your eyes fell to the floor as you quickly turned around to walk out slamming the door behind you.

You could hear him calling after you but you had finally understood what was wrong with him. You had always known what they had was serious, it was real. When she left he was heartbroken but you were there to pick up the pieces that she had shattered. You knew she had meant so much to him and deep down you always felt that he would never get over her. Yet somehow he did and he felt that same love but with you. At least you had thought.

“Y/n, Please” He begged. 

You slowly turned toward him. “Is that why you've been ignoring me all day?” You whisper looking him in the eyes. 

“I’m sorry” He whispers clearly wanting to say more but nothing comes out. “I.. I just sometimes.. You know? "he says as his voice cracks.

You take a deep breath as you tilt your head up trying to stop yourself from saying something you’ll regret. “You miss her?” You ask, making eye contact. 

“Please” He begs. “You don't understand” 

“Do you?” You ask again with a harsher tone this time. He stares at you but you can tell what he wants to say and you can tell he won’t admit it.

You shake your head, running your hand across your face. “She left Lucifer” You yell. “She left and she’s not coming back”. Your hands flew to your mouth the minute the bitter words fell off your tongue. 

You watched as his face fell, the hurt instantly taking over his face. His body went slack as he stared at you. 

“Ducky, I'm so sorry,” You whispered. “I don't know what happened.. I would never say that” You walk toward him slowly but he backs up as you take a step forward. 

“But you did,” He whispers. 

“I don't know what to do,” You yell. “I have been wanting you to love me the way you loved her since she was still with you.. Why can’t you fucking understand this” You continue as tears begin to stream down seeming to find no end as they wouldn't stop.

“I love you so much but if you still love another woman more than you could ever love me i’m not sure if this is worth it” You admit as your voice cracks. 

“No. No you can’t fucking do this.. I do love you. So much. More than you think I do” He yells as you sob, finding it hard to breathe. You run your hands through your hair shaking your head.

“My love” He whispers, making you lift your head to look at him. His eyes find yours as he strides toward you quickly.

You didn't realize what he was doing until he pulled you into a hug as you struggled against him “No let go” You cried but he held on tighter and no matter how hard you pushed and kicked he held on until your breathing slowed and you melted into his embrace. 

“I wasn't thinking,” He said calmly, laying his head on yours. “I didn’t mean to ignore you.. I would never purposefully hurt you my love” He begins as he pulls you from the hug to look at your face. His hands slide across your cheeks wiping away the tears. “I love you and you know who's here right now” He says looking at you. You stare at him without saying anything.

“Words. Who's here with me right now” He speaks again, keeping his hands on your cheeks forcing you to look at him.

“Me” You whisper trying to look away but he forces you to look at him.

“Good girl” He says, kissing your nose. You scrunch your nose up causing him to giggle as his hands slide to your waist. “Do you forgive me?” He smiles at you.

You wanted to say no because what he did today had really hurt you but the way he looked at you had you bucking your knees. You glanced away before looking back at him. “Yes” You nod. “I’m sorry too” You shrug, biting your lip.

He gives you a soft smile before pulling you in tightly against his chest as he leaned down. The sweet taste of his lips flooding your mouth as he kissed you slowly. His hands trailing his way through your hair as he pulled you back by a few strands so he could stare into your face.

“I love you” He whispers softly.

Masterlist Lucifer Masterlist

#bbgwrites #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oneshots #hazbin hotel fic #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer oneshot #hazbin lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #lucifer angst

[whore-era]

collage!ellie x reader hcs? <3

a/n: im gonna assume u meant college!ellie so HERE IT GOES just for you anon friend <3 sorry for how short it is kfkdkkd

tlou 2 university: college!ellie x reader headcanons <3 18+

i have a feeling ellie is either a biology major, engineering major, or a physics/astrophysics major (cuz our girl loooves space), meaning she's extremely intelligent and does very well in class!! she's always answering the professor's questions, taking notes, paying attention. when you struggle with any science/math related subjects, she's ALWAYS willing to tutor you. but, this doesn't mean she's just gonna give you the answers, she's gonna make sure you actually learn and study, even using any means possible — like having you strip off a piece of clothing every time you get an answer wrong and making it a fun time for the both of you.

when you have important projects/papers/quizzes/exams to do that day, she'll make sure to send an encouraging message. don't get me wrong, she always does, but on especially important days like these, she'll always make sure to send an extra special one <3 'good morning baby! you're gonna fucking KILL this chemistry exam babe! you worked your ass off and you're gonna do amazing and get the highest score ❤️ i love you my smart girl let me know what you get when you're done' 'ty els <3 i love you most babe ! i'm abt to start talk to u laterrrr 🏃🏻‍♀️'

ellie will always fulfill her girlfriend duties and walk you to and pick you from classes! even tho she's always a tiny bit late because your class was all the way across campus from hers, but she wants to make sure you're protected and safe so she doesn't care either way! and she'll always carry your books for you, making sure you don't strain or 'hurt' yourself (her words not yours). "els, i have two, capable working arms!!" you whine, as she takes the textbook off your hands, "and so? what if you get a muscle spasm? or you sprain your hand?" she retorts, "by a two pound book?" ellie shrugs, "the possibility is never zero, babe."

when ellie has a project or an essay to work on, it'll be a little difficult to reach her as she gets in the zone when she's working. you'll probably send her some texts throughout the day to check in on her, but as the day progresses you'll find yourself worrying and thinking about stopping by her dorm with dinner because you already know she hadn't ate all day from being cooped up in her room typing away:

you - 9:30 am: els! just got out of class!! gnna go get some lunch w jesse :) hope ur doin okay <3

you - 11:45 am: miss u babe hope ur work is coming along great !!!

you - 2:21 pm: havent heard from u......kinda worried....hope u have been eating n staying hydrated missy >:(

you - 5:56 pm: ok i'm On my way! to ur dorm rn w/ dinner i already know u haven't ate yet n ur gonna feel my wrath

you - 5:56 pm: ignore that extremely enthusiastic On my way! it autocorrected im still mad at u

hearing the booming pounding on her door, ellie takes off her earbuds and walks to the door, opening it. to her surprise, you're standing there, take-out in hand, and a grumpy expression gracing your face. "do you know what time it is? have you even ate yet, ellie williams-miller?" ellie grimaces at the sound of her full, government name leaving your lips. "i'm so sorry, babe. i was working all day, i didn't even realize how much time had passed 'til you showed up," ellie mutters, her stomach grumbling on cue. you hand her the take-out from her favorite spot on campus, and she graciously takes it from your hands. "you better be thankful you have a very caring and worrisome girlfriend, els," you say, "i really missed you today." a smile curls on ellie's lips, "i know, baby. here, let me take a little break from my paper, and i'll make it up to you, yeah?"

and that night, ellie was extremely thankful she worked on most of her paper, as she completely disregarded anymore work as she decided she'd rather fulfill her appetite by eating you out instead. leaving her take-out cold and untouched. but hey, she held her part of the deal and indeed made it up to you.

that was also how 5 papers ended up taped up against her dorm-room door, complaining of the 'fucking loud ass moans' the morning after.

"how'd they even know it was us?" ellie queries, reading over the complaints. "oh wait, it says here 'please tell your girlfriend to keep it down. she was screaming your name all night. thank you for reminding us who lives in dorm 114.'" needless to say, you were red as a tomato and it gutted you to leave her dorm, feeling everyone's eyes on you as you walked down the hall.

let me know if yall would like more college!ellie hcs!! <3

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie williams tlou #the last of us #the last of us ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie x reader hc #college!ellie williams

[guiltyreverie]

Remedy

Part 1 || Part 2

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Content tags: enemies to lovers; slow burn; afab!reader; clan issues

Warnings: slow burn, gojo being a dick (even geto can’t save him here), enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, gojo dating around, pain :)

Word count: 6.5k

“Say something. Anything,”, he grasps your hands and you push his hands away, almost disgusted at him for behaving this way, “I’m begging you.”, he looks at you with a defeated expression.

“You’re un-fucking-believable, Gojo.”, you almost spit at him but you take a step back away from him to avoid such immaturity and shake your head.

It’s been almost two weeks since you went to Gojo’s house and he finally got the stick out of his butt to realize just how badly he screwed up - it took him two weeks to notice, mind you.

“Are you always going to be an immature asshole, insulting me whenever we disagree, Satoru?”, you aren’t yelling yet, but with all your pent up anger and worse, hurt, it’s going to be only a matter of time.

He interrupts your well prepared monologue, “No-“

“Shut it.”, he immediately shuts up and looks at you like a kicked puppy. “I’m talking now, no interruptions, you hear me?”, he nods along afraid of what you’d do if he actually interrupted you again.

“I did not deserve to be treated like- like a himbo in front of your entire family!”, you stutter, your anger consuming you to the point all your prepared insults and thoughts just crumble and you aren’t able to form coherent thoughts. You take a deep breath and run your hand through your hair: “All I wanted was for you to open up because I care about you and I worry for you,”, Satoru widens his eyes and opens his mouth only for him to close it again like a fish when you give him a ‘don’t you dare speak’ look, “but even that seems to bite me in the ass with you, Gojo. I’m done with whatever kind of friendship we had, do what you want, I’m out of here.”

“Y/n”, he grabs your arm to hold you back from turning around but you quickly shake it off.

Your steps halt for a second and it seems like all your inner turmoil just disappeared and you’re left with some sort of clearance: no anger, no hurt, no frustration, nothing.

You coldly glance at him and shake his arm off then keep walking - a silent goodbye.

He wanted to run after you, catch you, you were slipping off his grasp but he knew if he didn’t respect your wishes now, he’d completely lose you and there would be absolutely no way you’d ever forgive him.

With every step you took you felt the tension in your shoulders ease and when you finally stepped outside the nagging sense of freedom was gnawing at your skin as if it was finally breaking free you suddenly could breathe the breath you were holding in and relief washes over you - the chapter about Gojo Satoru was over what you fail to realize is that it’s an entire book about him

Saying goodbye to your feelings towards Satoru was easier than you had initially thought - maybe you were in denial or in a state of apathy but it helped immensely.

Even when you finally see him after a few days your body gave out no reaction - no thumping heartbeat, no goosebumps, nothing; you were so indifferent towards him, towards anything really, you had become a mere shelter of what you had once deemed as yourself but there was no changing it - at least some of his comments were true it seems.

He’d glance at you several times even when somebody else was talking to him and despite your best attempts to ignore him you still feel him staring; it irks you, makes you feel naked, you knox he’s trying to read you; figure out what’s going on im that pretty little head of yours and it’s only a matter of time before you break under his excruciating stare.

Your mouth opens before you can even stop yourself: “What?”, he is startled - he didn’t expect you to actually talk to him first.

“You’re pretty.”, your eyes widen in surprise and you flick his forehead.

“Compliments aren’t going to make me forgive you.”

“It was worth a shot.”, that boyish smile reappears, the same smile that makes you feel giddy and almost always makes you want to drop down your guard and let him in; for a split second you think that smile is worth your ruin and you have to shake yourself off of those thoughts, let the rationality take over again otherwise you might catch yourself falling into a hole you can’t come out of.

You shake your head no, your eyes distrusting, to someone like him you probably just look like a scared bunny but you didn’t care, you let him in once and see where it got you.

“Anything important you need to discuss?”, you stare blankly at him.

“Hmm, something important...”, he grabs his chin contemplatively, “well if I say ‘you’, how would you react?”

“Gojo, be serious for once in your life!”, you scoff at him.

“I am.”

“No, you aren’t.”, you roll your eyes.

“See, y/n, that’s your problem, you always assume what’s going on in my head and why we can never see eye to eye.”, he’s starting to whine.

“I wouldn’t have to, if you’d just say what you think for once in a while,”, you sigh, “but as we have seen at the dinner, sometimes I really don’t want to know what’s going on in your head.”

“C’mon, sweetheart, I wasn’t being serious, I just wanted to rile you up a little.”

“Well you seriously hurt me, so I guess you did rile me up in some way.”, you want to forgive him, but the part of you that was always at odds with Gojo, the part that was always insulted by Gojo couldn’t; The two of you don’t know how to be friends with each other and maybe it should just stay that way, and hopefully someday you’ll become acquainted enough to get married.

The odds weren’t looking good for the both of you and it would always just be a matter of days or weeks when you’d just start to fight again, that’s how you guys always were and how you’d always will be, you can’t deny this.

“I’m sorry, it was never my intention to actually hurt you.”, Gojo grabs your face and looks at you with so much intensity and honesty, add his height to the equation and you can’t help but feel intimidated by him, “look at me, y/n, look at me and tell me I’m lying. We both know I’m not.”.

The two of you stare at each other for what feels like minutes but you don’t know how much time has actually passed and you sigh.

“You’re on very thin ice, Gojo.”

Smooch - you felt a wet and warm sensation; Satoru had just kissed your cheek sloppily, you’re too shocked to even react - He had kissed you; suddenly you’re unable register anything other than your face heating up and the inner little devil voice in your head craving more of this.

When you finally manage to pull yourself together you push him away stunned and flustered: “Gojo! Have some shame, won’t you.”, he grins that boyish smile once again and you can feel the ice on your heart thawing little by little - a sense of doom overcomes you. You hate this, you hate him, you hate yourself for letting him crawl back to your heart.

You take a step away from him, a bubble of anxiety rises within you, you need to breathe, a task which you find really hard to do when you catch yourself once again staring at his blue eyes that look at you with the same anxiety you’re feeling - were those his or your feeling reflecting in his irises? You weren’t sure, maybe both.

“Look, you screw this up and it’s final, no more redemption, apologies or whatever else you come up with are gonna work anymore.”, you look at him trying to read his stoic expression but as always; it’s hard to find out what’s going on inside his head. “I’m tired of opening up just for it to bite me in the ass afterwards.”

“I know and I promise, I did not mean to hurt you.”

You nod, he deserves the benefit of the doubt, at least for your own sanity and your future together.

To your surprise he did seem to pull himself together and although you two still bicker at any chance you get or he ends up teasing and annoying the hell out of you, it was different than before - it was more lighthearted, less intense, you liked this dynamic between you. You guys hang out even more together - Haname even complains about how he is taking up all of your time and in response he ends up bragging about that towards her and you end up scolding him for his immaturity.

Sometimes the three of you would hang out together but other times Satoru would drag you out by yourself or Haname would explain she had enough of him for a while and needed some girl time and right now was one of those occasions.

Haname and you end up sitting in a nice restaurant and enjoying each other’s company, god you loved her so much.

“Yknow, I’m not trying to be all sentimental but remember when we ate here for the first time?”, she grins at you happily, you can’t help but roll your eyes at her playfully.

“God, you sound like a 80 year old lady reconciling with her long lost friend.”

“I mean, you do have been kinda M.I.A. these weeks.”, she wiggles her eyebrows like a mad woman and you scoff.

“I have not.”

“You have.”

“How have I been M.I.A.?”, you gasp in surprise - you had fairly often talked to her the past few days.

“Uh-huh”, she hums, “baby, even when you’re with me, you’re still hung up thinking about your boyfriend.”, she grins, a glint in her eyes, that tells you she knows exactly what’s going on inside your head - even without telling her.

You scowl at her: “He’s not my boyfriend.”, and try to save at least some of the dignity that your cheeks starting to flame up as if you had just entered hellfire are taking away from you.

She looks at you with a pointed look: “I didn’t even mention his name.”

If you thought your face couldn’t get any redder than now, you were proven horribly wrong now.

“It’s not like that.”, you roll your eyes, a little pang hits you in the chest, “he doesn’t even feel the same way”, you shrug and gulp down the tension that’s building up in your throat. “We’re just facing the fact that we’re going to end up together either way and decided it might be better to get along instead of hating each other’s gut.”

“What I’m hearing is, you like him.”, she smiles at you.

You nod hesitantly.

“Well, how are you so sure, he doesn’t feel the same?”, she looks at you, her gaze clearly saying ‘don’t assume what other people are thinking’

You shake your head at her and gesture to the couple a few seats behind you: “That’s why.”

She turns around to the spot you pointed at before she gasps loudly, catching the attention of several people in the room, including Satoru, who was sitting in front of a pretty girl and then smiled at you guys before focusing back on the girl in front of him; she seemed to pay no attention on everyone but him.

“Why. Are. You. Letting. This. Happen.”, she hits your arm in between each word.

You smile at her sadly, you had already accepted this situation but it still felt like salt being rubbed into a wound you didn’t even know was still open. “Just because I like him, doesn’t mean I’ll stop him from finding someone he likes.”, you shrug once again and stab the fork into your steak. “We’re arranged, Haname, I can’t force him to like me romantically.”

She looks at you as if you had gone insane: “And you think that makes it ok for him to see other girls without your permission?”

You chuckle coldy at her: “No, that's where you’re wrong.”, you take a bite of the steak and swallow it down, the same way you’re swallowing down all of your feelings regarding this situation, “He did ask for permission and I gave it to him.”

She shakes her head at you: “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Thanks, I know.”

“Don’t you think it’s unfair to the girls to be dating someone who is already promised to someone else?”, she scowls at you and you can’t help but feel offended.

“Don’t you think I don’t know that?”, you scoff at her and can’t believe she’s trying to make you the bad guy in this situation. “I already told him, he’s just going to break their hearts and if he wants to relieve some steam he should be upfront about it.”

She looked relieved: “Good. What happened then?”

“Nothing - he just said to let that be his worry.”, you sigh, “anyways, can we drop this, I don’t like talking about it.”

She looks at you sheepishly and considers her next few words as if she was talking to a scared child: “Y’know, if you’d just tell him how you feel, you could save yourself the pain.”

“And give myself the pain of embarrassment?”, you chuckle, “or of rejection? Besides, I don't want him to treat me like a fragile little thing just because my heart beats a little faster whenever I see him.”, god you really didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore - it makes the formerly delicious steak taste horrible and makes you want to throw it up at the next chance you get.

“Baby, your heart beating a little faster whenever you see him is an understatement - your eyes practically search for him whenever he isn’t there and when he is? Full of hearts.”, she raises her eyebrows as if trying to make her point come across clearer, “not to mention, whether you like it or not, you basically crumble at his attention, girl- you’re completely whipped.”

“No way.”, you look at her as if she’s the insane one now. “I do not!”, the urge within you to throw a fry at her grows stronger.

She laughs and makes weird googly eyes at you while saying: “See, this is how you look like.”

You shake your head and laugh - you'll get over him, you’re sure of that and give the two of them one last quick glance before you shove down any type of remaining angst deep into your chamber of unresolved issues.

It seemed like you couldn’t be any more wrong, though because whenever he gives you his boyish smile your legs still feel like pudding or when he wraps his arms around you, you can’t help but lean in a little closer - as Haname said, you were whipped, it doesn’t matter how much you deny it.

Although the next time you’re faced with his charming smile you’re almost about to throw up.

“I really do like her, y/n”, he smiles.

Please shut up, you almost wince out, but you can’t, you can’t let him see what you’re feeling, not when he was finally genuinely happy after Geto left. It pained you to know there would always be someone else behind the reason for his smile and never you. You could laugh and joke around with him but you’d never be the one holding his heart and you wished you could more than anything else in the world but you’d rather kiss a curse than ever openly admit it to him.

When you finally break out of your thoughts you notice Satoru is staring at you nervously, as if he was waiting for a reply and you try to gulp down any sort of distress you were feeling; he didn’t sign up for a girl unable to handle her feelings for him.

You try to smile sheepishly at him but your voice still comes out shakier than you had planned: “I’m sorry, ‘Toru, I wasn’t listening.”

He ‘tsked’ and poked your cheek: “What’s gotten your pretty little head so deep in thought that you can’t focus on this dashing young man in front of you.”

“It’s nothing”, you breathe out and he looks at you in disbelief and you reassure him again “It’s really nothing,”, you give him a pointed look, “just got my head in the clouds, I’m fine”, it seems like you try to reassure yourself more than him.

He still gives you the same look but then shrugs it off: “No pressure, if you don’t want to tell me. I was asking if it was fine to ask her out to be my girlfriend.”

Absolutely nothing could have prepared you for this, if you felt like he had punched you in the guts before, this time it felt like he threw an entire planet at your gut - you really were going to puke now.

“I- Satoru..”, you didn’t know what to focus on, your vision started to get blurry, you really were about to fucking crack and you wish you could erase your feelings when you can make out his worried expression - you felt guilty, horrible and most of all you yearned, you yearned for him and it’s slowly killing you as if you were an animal at the butcher’s house slowly bleeding out, simply because you know, this will always be one-sided affection.

He grabs your shoulders and he almost violently shakes you and you finally get a hold of reality, Satoru is in front of you and you’re probably terrifying him with your weird behavior.

Your voice cracks: “I’m sorry, Satoru,” you felt incredibly selfish but on one hand you knew this would be the right decision, “I can’t agree with that.”

He looks at you, startled for a second and then he realizes what you’re saying; his expression quickly goes from confusion to anger. “Why?”

“Look-“

“What, y/n? Can’t handle me being happy?”, he let’s go of your arms, his jaw is tense and his once blue yet warm eyes felt like nothing but an eerie ice cold lake.

You wince, you can’t handle him being angry at you, especially when it’s rightfully placed anger - you felt terrible. “We are arranged to get married, Satoru.”, you look at him, you were truly sorry and incredibly selfish, so fucking selfish.

“So what? Does that mean I have to deprive myself of love completely, y/n? Am I unable to love anyone that isn’t you?”, his voice is getting louder and you have to hold back a whimper - your tears that already risked coming out were now falling continuously.

“Don’t you think it’s unfair?”, you finally manage to get out, your voice was as unsteady as you felt - god you wish you hadn’t agreed to this in the first place. “I’m sorry, Satoru, I really am.”, you try to grasp his hands but he shakes them off and you have to gulp down the aching pain of betrayal in your chest, “but don’t you think it’s unfair to the girl, to hope on a love, knowing you’re promised to another?”, you tried to maintain a pretext of reasoning, of sense, but deep down - in the deepest parts of your heart - you knew it was because you couldn’t handle seeing him with someone else, not with the knowledge that she’s his girlfriend.

He scoffs at you in disbelief: “Cut the bullshit, you wouldn’t care less about a stranger, it’s about the fucking family image, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not-“

“Fucking save it.”, he interrupts you and you had never - not even in your arguments before - heard Satoru speak with such disgust directed towards you and he walks away.

You felt absolutely utterly terrible and finally let out the sobs you’ve been holding in - this is all your fault, you whimper to yourself. You were a hypocrite - telling him to go out with someone but the moment it gets actually real you deprive him of exactly that.

You stay at the place for probably several hours - you didn’t really count - but you stay there until your breathing finally evens and you’re able to go a few minutes without crying; you had cried your soul out that night until you were only left with the biggest headache and a void inside of you, you knew were unable to ever fill again.

Slowly you get up, your legs felt weak after sitting for so long but you had to get a grip, you had to at least go back to your room.

Just why did you have to open your mouth and ruin all the good stuff happening between the two of you, you felt terrible your own pain colliding with the guilt of your intertwined fate; two forces clashing into one another creating a cataclysm in your very own mind. You wanted to curse at everyone, hate everyone for putting you in this position: entrapped in freedom - you were kindly speaking a mess.

The room was silent - only your irregular breathing was audible, which was quite contrary to your very loud mind. You wanted to apologize, take everything back, undo what you did but sooner or later this would’ve happened anyways. Imagine explaining to your girlfriend you had your own engagement party to attend, at least that’s what the logical side of your brain told you - your heart was wondering how long you would’ve been able to bear seeing Satoru love someone else.

It was all pointless now; the pure anger - almost seething hatred - in his eyes was enough to tell you he would never feel the same, the two of you will probably never even be on good terms again after this.

To your own disappointment your premonition had been right: when you showed up to class the very next day he had sat himself as far away from you as possible and didn’t even bother to look at you. When you try to reach him when the class is over he was already away from the entire campus.

“You look like a truck ran you over. Twice.”, she states, visibly concerned.

“Thanks.”, you reply sarcastically.

She steps closer towards you and wraps her arm around yours: “Wanna talk?”

“No, thanks.”, you shake your head, “I’ll talk it out with him first, when we’re both more collected.”

“I don’t know, babe. It seems bad, maybe waiting is the wrong solution.”, she raises her eyebrows contemplating, “I mean, you guys, no matter how bad, have never sat apart.”

You tense up even more than before: “I know.”

Several days pass after that, you had finally started to collect yourself; instead a comforting void in the former emotional chaos had ignited in you and you figured you were finally calm enough to reach out to Satoru and talk to him.

Just when he’d sit down in his seat you take up the spot next to him and the teacher immediately enters the classroom, although he doesn’t acknowledge your presence and immediately turns towards the blackboard you were determined - you needed to sort this out now or never.

“Satoru”, you whisper.

No response.

“Pss, Satoru.”

He gives you a side glance but turns back around.

“Satoru”, you stand up and the attention of the entire class is on you.

Now he genuinely looks at you - albeit he’s probably wondering if you had finally gone insane but you didn’t care.

You take out your hand and wait for him to take it so you can lead him outside. The teacher demands an explanation but he only gets a simple ‘sorry’ from you before you focus back on him.

“Please.”, you whisper, you felt desperate to fix this, you wanted everything to go back to normal so bad, even if that meant having to let him go to another woman.

He sighs and reluctantly gets up: “Excuse us, teach, we’ll be back before you know it.”, he doesn’t take your hand and walks out of the room, you awkwardly let your hand fall down and follow him. Impatiently he’s tapping his foot and almost looks like he could rip open your skull, you gulp - maybe he hasn’t cooled down yet.

You hadn‘t noticed before, probably because Satoru was never the one to actually get mad at you but right now - he was more intimidating than any curse you‘ve ever met and you felt like a defenseless little child standing in front of him, he towered over you, like always but the cold anger in his eyes made you feel so small, in a way you never felt before.

A part of you wanted to run away - let everything stay the same, ignore the storm but a bigger part inside of you knew, if you didn‘t speak up now the storm would never vanish and you’d be trapped in its chaos for eternity.

You take a deep breath and sigh: “I’m sorry, Satoru.”

“For what?”

It takes a few seconds to sort your thoughts - what were you sorry for? Him? Or yourself?

“For everything.”, you breathe out, “reacting the way I did, but also for agreeing to let you see her in the first place.”

He raises an eyebrow - he looks angrier than before and he immediately opens his mouth, probably to curse you out, but you hush him and plead with him to let you finish first.

“Look, it’s not because you’re seeing her or because I have feelings for you, it’s just-“, you bite your lip in frustration, “that relationship is going to be doomed from the start. Yes you’d be just boyfriend and girlfriend now but in a few years? How would you tell her that you can’t go any deeper because you’re already promised to someone else? It’s unfair and absolutely selfish to do that to her.”

“You have feelings for me?”, he repeated in confirmation, it seems like he still hasn’t processed your revelation.

Your eyes widen in surprise and for a second you almost curse yourself for letting it slip: “I thought you knew.”

He shakes his head and you’re ready to throw yourself out of any skyscraper; you briefly close your eyes and calm yourself down - it’s okay, so what if he knows, you try to reassure yourself.

For a second he seemed to have calmed down before the anger seemed to consume his facial features once again: “Why don’t you just say you can’t handle seeing me with someone else because you have feelings for me? Why make up all these other excuses?”

“Because it’s not-“

“Don't fool yourself, y/n. That’s exactly why.”

You grow more and more frustrated, yes you had feelings for him, but it also seemed like you were the only one rational enough to realize just how doomed his little “relationship” is, despite your feelings for him.

“No, Satoru. I’d never prioritize my dumb little feelings over your happiness because I have feelings for you.”

He chuckles sarcastically: ”Yeah, right. Then why don’t you just let me be happy for now. Before I’m chained down to you.”, you felt like puking, does he even realize how much his words hurt? “See, in the end, you will end up with me by your side anyways, I can’t escape it, let me enjoy being with someone I like.”

Right now it feels like he’s stabbing you with a knife over and over and you can’t help but think - he’s doing this on purpose. Be it out of anger or frustration or whatever else it may be, he wanted you to feel pain, that was his goal and god you wish you didn’t care for this bastard but you did and that would be your most likely downfall.

“You’re being a complete asshole right now.”, you say, your voice filled with exhaustion - you didn’t want to argue anymore nor care for him nor actually have anything to do with him, “look, I am sorry for going on about it like this and for hurting your feelings in the process, believe me, but I don’t think I deserve to be treated like this either.”, you shake your head, you hoped he’d finally understand where you’re coming from.

“Awww,” he coos exaggeratedly, “did I hurt your feelings?”, you scoff, how did you even like this man in the first place.

“Thanks for letting me know where I stand.”, you smile coldly, visibly uncomfortable, “I’ll kindly step out of your way now.”, you were done with this situation, you had spoken your mind and apologized but if he didn’t wish to fix things, you wouldn’t either.

The storm between the both of you had stilled, you went radio silent with one another, aside from the occasional mission you had together, in which you’d also just exchange the most basic necessities or the occasional family meetings where you two would go back to pretending you’re deeply infatuated with one another. It was complete radio silence between you guys - you weren’t gonna lie; you missed the playful banter, you missed him, but it wasn’t worth being hurt over and over.

Soon your second year passed and you had even reached the end of your third year; the elders had announced your engagement party - the skyscraper sounding once again as tempting as the waffles in front of you. Your mother, Satoru’s mother and you had gone out to buy an engagement dress and accessories for you and they really didn’t hold back.

They chose a beautiful white long backless dress ornamented with various pearls on the neckline and back, the sleeves were covered in lace and it was absolutely stunning, you had bought matching white high heels and got yourself french nails.

You knew this engagement party would be extravagant and the wedding would top that by at least 20 times but looking at the location you were absolutely stunned, it was beautiful and straight out of a fairy tale; the tables were decorated with white and lilac flower everywhere fairy lights were strung up, even a photo venue and the symbol of both of your clans were stitched into handkerchiefs meant as gifts for the guests - your moms had gone out of the way for this.

There’s a bittersweet taste in your mouth upon looking at the venue - it was beautiful but you wish you also had a just as beautiful bond to your soon to be fiancé. You sigh to yourself and thank the both of them for all their work before you take off to get your hair and make up done for the evening and get dressed.

When it’s 8pm Satoru rings the doorbell to pick you up; you give yourself one last look in the mirror to check if everything is alright then grab your purse and open the door hastily.

His eyes trail up and down your body - you thought you looked good but now you weren’t so sure anymore, not when you’re met with him in a dashing black suit that made him look absolutely handsome, for a second you wondered if you looked good enough for him and you had to refrain yourself. After all this time there’s a small part within you that still cares- longs for him - that always wants to know what he thinks of you and you doubt you’ll ever stop caring for him like that.

You try to refrain from nervously biting your lips, you want to ask him ��how do I look?’ but the fear of rejection, of being hurt, stops you from asking exactly that, instead you simply nod at him as a form of greeting and close the door behind you.

You shakily whisper: “Let’s go.”, you didn’t even bother looking at him and simply made your way towards the car and stepped inside, not waiting for him.

The car ride is silent, which is a huge contrast to the booming cluster of conversations inside the engagement location. When you two enter side by side, Satoru uncomfortably close to you, his hand at your lower back, the guests are silent for a second before everyone cheers loudly and you smile at everyone gracefully - maybe if you acted good enough you might actually start feeling that way.

“Y/n, Satoru, come, let‘s take pictures!“, your mother grabs the both of you and drags you to the photo venue; she was brimming with excitement and you smile to yourself - at least her happiness is worth the sorrow.

She forces the two of you into several poses, Satoru looks visibly annoyed and you have to pinch his side; you give him a pointed look and try to get rid of that scowl on his face. How would this seem authentic if he‘s frowning in all of the pictures that are probably going to be hung up everywhere in both of your houses. He briefly looks at you before he shakes his head and seems to put himself together and a smile reappears on his face and your breath stills - his smile is fake but nonetheless his beauty couldn‘t be any more real.

Suddenly Satoru‘s mother pops between you guys and scolds the both of you: “How can we have engagement pictures when there’s at least 5 inches of space between you?”, she pushes you closer to each other to the point your shoulder hits his chest and you do your best to not take a step back away from him.

“Come on, guys!”, your mother yells, visibly annoyed at the lack of romantic affection between you, “a kiss or two hasn’t hurt anyone.”, ‘yet’ you add mentally and groan.

“Come on, mom. It’s embarrassing.”, you grumbled and give desperate look at Satoru who had a tinge of amusement glinting in his eyes, “we don’t do PDA.”

“It’s your engagement!”, she sighs and gives you a pleading look and you breathe out in defeat.

You feel Satoru’s chest rumble in your back and he chuckles deeply: “Well, let’s give our dear mothers what they want, don’t we?”

You almost do a double take - Who are you and what have you done to Gojo Satoru? Before he wouldn’t even look at you and now he’s willing to kiss you? It felt so surreal to the point you don’t even realize that you guys had been facing one another and Satoru was waiting for your response.

The nod you give him is so subtle, you aren’t even sure he saw it until he starts to lean in and you are absolutely sure you are going to freak out. The huge space in this hall suddenly wasn’t enough, your breathing was starting to become uneven and you wanted to push him away, you needed the distance and yet your body was acting completely different. It was leaning closer towards him until your lips finally meet one another.

Kissing Gojo Satoru was one of the last things you expected to do tonight but here you were. His hands softly grab your face and you lean in even closer into him. Despite his soft hands there was a certain rough touch into the kiss - it’s like he put in all of his anger, hatred for and at you in it and it was addicting to say the least. A bridge inside you broke and you were falling deep into the river and drowning in your feelings and yearning.

When you two finally part it feels like mere seconds passed but your heavy breathing suggests otherwise. The two of you just keep staring at one another, you feared that if you broke the eye contact everything would go back to the way it was before, so you remain silent; the warm tone of the fairy lights being the only thing surrounding you.

Faint laughter seems to finally break the bubble you have created and you step back in shock; the realization of what just happened finally dawned on you.

“Excuse me.”, you push yourself away from him and step out of the venue; you needed to collect yourself and you can’t do that with Satoru around.

The cold air hits your burning cheeks and you finally seem to calm down now the only thing filling your head was confusion - Satoru confused you. He went from hating you to radio silence to kissing you; yes, it was because you guys were urged to do so but he could’ve also simply rejected them. You close your eyes for a brief second and sigh to yourself - men. There was no point in dwelling and overthinking this in a few minutes he’ll either go back to ignoring you or being an asshole.

A jacket suddenly appears on top of your shoulder and you flinch back in surprise.

“It’s cold.”

“Thanks.”, you smile at Satoru and wrap his jacket even tighter around you.

He smiles back and you have to wonder just why he is out here with you, when he could be enjoying a glass of wine inside.

As if Satoru could read your mind he chuckles and runs a hand through his hair: “I know we haven’t been on the greatest terms the past few years.”

“You don’t say.”, you reply sarcastically and he rolls his eyes in response.

“It’s just, I’m a fool, y/n. Unsure of what he wants and feels and I’m sorry for dragging you down into my pile of bullshit.”, you didn’t know what to say, how to go about this - this pulling and dragging between the both of you, you were tired of it.

“You might be unsure of what you feel, Satoru, but for someone who claims to hate me he sure was into the kiss.”, you point out as a matter of fact, you two kissed each other in there like you both had been each other's lifeline.

He chuckles: “Yeah, I might feel a little more than just hatred for you.”

“A little?”, you frown.

“More than a little.”, he grins, “but I can’t believe you haven't moved on already.”

You scoff and he looks at you so sure of himself and you can’t help but shake your head while laughing.

He stares at you and you awkwardly stop laughing: “What?”

He looked sorry: “How can I make it up to you?”

“How about you start with kissing me and we’ll figure out the rest.”, you grin at him and once again you’re ready to open your heart to the man in front of you.

“I can work with that.”, he grins before grabbing you by the arms and pulling you closer towards him, your lips colliding - you could get used to this type of remedy.

#fanfiction #x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo #gojo satoru #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk manga #satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #guiltyreverie

[iisowks]

bbg….imagine-teen mommy! reader who works with PM dazai and through a LOT of drama he finds out he’s the father (drama💗) you decide the rest~ or!! Another idea!! Idea no 2; chuuya finds out its dazais kid. ((Smut or no smut idk))

PM! Dazai… and chuuya x Pregnant teen! Reader

Warnings: it can be a trigger for some people, mentions of suicide, mention of alcohol, mention of sex, suggestive but not smut detailed, it ends bad so yeah, and kind of cheating too.

Note: Heyyy so i don’t know what i did so i just did an like PLUS CHUUYA or sum but i guess it’s ok even tho i hated :3, but i really hope you like! and yes i think i’ll do an part two where Y/N finds him when they’re adults!

★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★ . ★

you joined the mafia very young but already a teenager, you don't actually like to be there but you had no choice or where to go. When you joined you didn't want to be with anyone and you didn't actually wanted to have friends, but two teenagers around your age did NOT leave you alone, and you enjoyed it after some time! you felt less lonely.

but then things got complicated. After some time, you catched yourself attracted to Dazai, even though you knew he wasn't the best person to be with, and you denied for a long time until one day Dazai was at your door, drunk.

“heyyy Y/N, i missed you!” dazai said with a messy voice… “Dazai, what the fuck? it 's 2 AM!” you said quite angry at him, but you took him in and gave him water, trying to make him sober, “Dazai, you really shouldn't be drinking that much.” you said worried about him, after all you guys were just teenagers. “and what? were all fucked up, it wont change anything! That's why I came here, I want to experience something before I die and you can help me with that, darling.”

you knew what was he talking about even tho your thoughts are saying not to do it because youre a fucking teenager, you wanted to. “Dazai, i don’t think we should-” “shut up.” right after that he kissed you… and you didn't stop him, i mean, who would 🧍‍♀️

Well you guys had sex, and you didn't know how to react at first… when you woke up he was gone, and that confused you, but you still wanted to talk to him.

After some time you guys became very close and sex became something normal for you two, until one day you two argued about something very silly but you were so done with him that you just walked away just like he did!

well you were walking through the city when you had the thought of drinking something, and since you were from mafia, almost no one questioned your age.

Well it was your first time drinking so you didnt knew what to ask for thats when you saw your friend Chuuya, “Chuuya! hi!” you said happy to see someone you could talk to. “oh, Y/N…” Chuuya said quite… normal? “do you mind helping me? i dont know what do drink…” “its your first time drinking alcohol?”

the night passed really fast, it was already like 1 AM and you and Chuuya were definetly drunk, “hey Chuu, can we have sex?” Chuuya frozed “huh? i thought you were with that morron” “well im not dating him!” Chuuya hesitated, but he was too drunk to have filter. “i… i guess then it’s okay?” you kissed him almost immediatly, you needed that because you were still feeling bad because of Dazai… and you know he probably did the same and that fucking hurted you.

well you woke up in your bed but no Chuuya, so you thought ‘oh thank god it was dream haha’ until you saw a note of Chuuya saying he should have stayed until you woked up but he didnt want to make you uncomfortable, in that moment you thought of suicide.

You simply pretended that nothing happened and prayed for Chuuya to do that too. Well you ignored everyone in the mafia for 2 weeks, until one day you just didn't feel well and runned away from mafia because mori would never let you go earlier, well you had your suspicions you were pregnant and you were going to do the test anyway.

When the test was positive you panicked, you were 16 and now pregnant?! you just wanted to die, but now you had to discover who’s the dad, and you don’t think Dazai would be happy with something like this. You were scared, but you thought it was better to let Chuuya know, since he was the last person you had a sexual relation.

You used protection with both. so one of them just didn’t work or something, you couldn’t think about any other reason but now the problem is not even that, is that you were pregnant with one of those man’s baby.

Well, Chuuya’s reaction was kind of… not good, and you understand that since you both were teenagers and definitely not ready to have a baby, but you also told him that could be Dazai, in the end he just accompanied you to do the test to see who is the father of the baby.

Well, now you have to wait, both of you, because Dazai has no clue what is happening and he probably thinks you still hate him. You were almost dying to know who the father was but part of you didn’t want to be Dazai because you don’t know how he would react.

A call, the attendant started to talk… after a time you just asked for her to say who was, when she said, you hung up and started crying immediately.

“Chuuya, thank you for the help, but i have to tranquilize you. You are not the father.” Chuuya was incredibly silent. “Be careful, Y/N.” That's all he said.

You lefted immediately to look for Dazai, you tried all the places you could, he was in none of them.

“Mori, hello.” It was your last chance. “Y/N, can i know why you are here after disappearing for 4 weeks?” “I just wanted to ask you if you know where Dazai is.” “Dazai is no longer a part of the mafia, miss Y/N.” “what?..” “he lefted.”

You ran. You ran the fastest that you could… you hated him, you hated him so much even though he doesn't even know you’re carrying his baby.

I guess until you meet him again.

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#bungou stray dogs #x reader #bsd x reader #dazai osamu #chuuya x reader #light angst #dazai x reader #bsd #iisowks

[watchmegetobsessed]

SNACKS AND SEX

A/N: a little something, because i thought i would be done with the single dadrry fic by now... but im not so i just wrote this quickly bc i felt bad hahahah

WORD COUNT: 1.4k

WARNING: a bit of body issues

SUMMARY: You're three months pregnant, but the world doesn't know. Seeing some pictures of yourself online really get to you.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

Social media has been a weird hole in your life ever since you started dating Harry. You weren’t an obsessive user before, but you spent your fair share of time scrolling on Twitter and Instagram, checking out funny posts.

But then they were about you.

Five years into dating Harry, one year of that spent as husband and wife, you still can’t stop yourself from wandering online and hurting yourself by seeing something mean about a photo or a nasty gossip. You promised yourself a million times before that you wouldn’t even check what complete strangers have to say about you, but it’s hard to keep away from the internet.

It’s a random Thursday evening when you break your promise again and it brings you to tears. Harry is out to get your Sour Patch Kids, because that was your pregnancy craving of the day and you tried to ignore it, but then ended up asking Harry to run to the store and get them for you without a word or complain. He’s been your hero not just since you’ve found out you’re pregnant three months ago, but probably since you met him.

So while you’re waiting for him, you’re munching on some chips, scrolling on Twitter aimlessly.

And then you find a thread about yourself.

Two days ago you went for a walk around the neighborhood, the weather was nice, you felt like you needed to get out of the house so you and Harry walked to your favorite bakery, got some donuts and took a stroll. Paparazzi keep away from the neighborhood where you live, Harry has had a long but successful fight with them in the past so now they keep their distance, so you weren’t worried about getting papped. But you can’t have normal people away every time you’re out on the streets. He has fans everywhere and love taking pictures of him doing literally anything, whether it’s just crossing the street, being on a run or walking around with her pregnant wife eating donuts.

Well, people don’t know you’re pregnant and hopefully they won’t find out for months.

You kind of saw a few girls get worked up when they spotted the two of you, but you were hoping they would be respectful and not take pictures. You were wrong. And now you’re met with a series of photos of you, your face stuffed with donuts like you never ate any before. They caught you in a bad moment, for sure. You haven’t washed your hair in days, you were wearing baggy clothes because one, they hide your growing belly amazingly and two, those are what you feel the most comfortable in. Your body is going through some major changes, comfort is your number one priority these days.

But now you’re watching people tear you apart for looking so slobby and practically just the shadow of yourself compared to what you used to look like five years ago.

She definitely shouldn’t be eating donuts, lol.

Wow, she put on so much weight!

Harry is just getting hotter, while she is turning into… that.

She is twice the size like she was at the Grammy’s omg!

You just can’t stop reading the nasty messages, they seem to be endless, about your look, your clothes and mostly about the size of your body. You immediately stop eating the chips and toss the pack away as you keep scrolling.

Tears start dwelling in your eyes, feeling like all these comments are being thrown at you relentlessly. There’s no doubt you’ve gained weight, pregnancy has been crazy for you, you’ve been constantly hungry, always eating something because whenever you tried to keep yourself out of the kitchen, your body definitely started rioting against you until you gave it what you wanted. So you’ve been putting on extra weight these past months, but you didn’t think much of it until now.

“Fuck,” you mumble, tears rolling down your cheeks as you lock the phone and toss it to the side, staring ahead of you, the comments playing in your mind on repeat.

It gets you so worked up that you don’t even notice when Harry returns.

“Love? I got everything you’ve been craving!” he sings as he walks down the hallway, smiling to himself thinking about all the treats in his tote bag.

You jump at his voice and try to hide your state, but a moment later he walks in and sees you sitting at the dining table, crying.

“Hey, what happened?” he asks, dropping the bag and rushing over to you, kneeling in front of you. “What happened? Talk to me, baby!”

“Nothing,” you breathe out shakily, but even the blind could see that you’re crying. “But… I don’t want the snacks anymore.”

“What? You’ve been craving them all day, I got all your favorites!”

“I don’t…” you shake your head and even though you’re fighting hard to stop crying, it just gets worse.

“Y/N, don’t tell me nothing happened, something clearly upset you! Please, I want to help!” he begs, feeling helpless seeing you like this.

Instead of answering, you just grab your phone, unlock it and hand it over to him and wait as he reads over some of the mean tweets.

“Baby…” he exhales, putting the phone to the side as he pulls out the chair next to yours and sits beside you, his hands never letting go of yours in your lap. “These idiots don’t matter, they have no idea that you’re pregnant!”

“I’m pregnant, yeah, but I also gained a lot of weight and I’m only entering the second trimester! I look horrible!”

“No, you don’t, you look amazing!”

“Don’t bullshit me, I look like shit on those pictures and I have a feeling I look the same now as well!” you snap at him. Your hormones have been all over the place so you’ve been overreacting a lot lately, but you just can’t help it.

“But that’s not what I see. I see my beautiful wife enjoying some great donuts she deserved because she is growing our baby in her belly. Did you put on some weight? Yes, but that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I loved you before pregnancy, I love you now and I will love you forever.”

“How do you not think I look hideous?” you moan, still not convinced.

“Because I’m in love with you and all I care about is that you’re nourished, loved and cared for so you can care for our baby in there,” he says, placing a hand to your growing belly. “People will always have something to say about us, that doesn’t mean it’s true. I was there with you on our walk, I saw you eat those donuts and wanna know what I thought?”

“What?” you ask in a whisper.

“I was so happy that I saw you eat them with those pleased hums, I loved knowing that you have what you want and need. That’s all that mattered to me.”

Harry can tell you’re still not entirely on the same page as him and he is determined to get your mind to the right place.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Y/N. And you’re going through some extreme changes so we can grow our family. Be nice to your body, because it’s gifting us with a baby. I promise you that even on your worst day, when you feel like you don’t want anyone to look at you, I would still think the same thing about you.”

“Are you sure?” you ask as he wipes your tears off of your cheeks.

“I can’t be more sure, I promise. Now why don’t we get comfortable on the couch, I’ll rub your feet and we can eat the snacks I got and then maybe have sex too,” he adds cheekily and it finally makes you laugh.

“Harry!”

“What?” he grins. “I told you, you’re beautiful. Of course I want to have sex with my amazing wife!”

“You don’t mind the weight I’ve put on?”

“No,” he answers confidently. “I love all of you, I love this wonderful body of yours that’s cooking my baby in there,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses your stomach, making you laugh. Then he wraps you in his arms and pulls you into his embrace. “We good?” he hums.

“Yeah,” you nod, holding onto him tight.

“So, snacks?”

“Yes.”

“And sex?” he adds, his hands wondering down to your butt, giving it a nice squeeze.

“Mm… Maybe. After snacks,” you say, making him laugh this time.

“Deal!”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb

[arson-09]

Acowar Review✨✨ sjm needs to pay for my therapy✨✨

Its not as infuriating as acomaf but its still… bad.

Point 1: the court of ignorance and dumbassery

Lets cut to the chase. why the FUCK didnt feyre read Tamlin and Luciens minds at ANYPOINT while she was doin her hot girl shit of taking the spring court down??? huh sjm??? why is your fmc only powerful when convenient. So much could have been cut down. Acowar was way too long.

The whole destroying of the spring court didnt even make that much sense. Im all for a girlie getting back at the people who wronged her but feyre ended up hurting a lot of innocent people in the process. Feyre even tries to ignore the consequences of her actions. She had to invade peoples minds and manipulate people to get them to turn against tamlin and all this could have been avoided if she read his damn mind and learned he was a double agent. Lucien even hinted towards it

Part One: Princess of Carrion »

Chapter Six

None. It was either go to war with the Night Court and Hybern, or ally with Hybern, let them try to stir up trouble, and then use that alliance to our own advantage further down the road." "What do you mean," I breathed. But Lucien realized what he'd said, and hedged, "We have enemies in every court. Having Hybern's alliance will make them think twice." Liar. Trained, clever liar.

If feyre is supposed to be so smart, and she did pick up on this, why didnt she do anything? This is so frustrating.

Then once she leaves the spring court i found myself frankly not caring. Acomaf hadnt given me enough to care about the inner circle so i didnt and sjm cant make me like rhysand. which i have so many gripes but for word counts sake let me name my main ones

Point 2: Sarah Janet Maas and her shitty love interests

the ignoring rhysand sexual assault of feyre and EXCUSING it and his little habit of not telling his court things

Part Two: Cursebreaker »

Chapter Twelve

Was it going on before you even left?" I whipped my head to him, even if I could barely make out his features in the dark. "I never touched Rhysand like that until months later." "You kissed Under the Mountain." "I had as little choice in that as I did in the dancing." "And yet this is the male you now love." He didn't know-he had no inkling of the personal history, the secrets, that had opened my heart to the High Lord of the Night Court. They were not my stories to tell

here we have sjm acknowledging that yeah, rhysand Sexually Assaulted Feyre UtM in Acotar. Without her consent he dressed her inappropriately (which she was uncomfortable with) had her dance provocatively in his lap, kissed her, and made her drink alcohol so she wouldn't remember the details all without her consent. Yet Sjm is going “its fine” now and feyre herself going “you just dont get it…” ⁉️⁉️⁉️

Now see if sjm actually planned for rhysand to become the love interest why didnt she just avoid all this by having Amarantha make rhysand do this to feyre? Because that would have solved some issues but no. Because Rhysand did all this of his own free will in acotar. He actively chose to do this to feyre. To humiliate her and anger Tamlin because rhysand is obsessed with Tamlin.

Rhysand also loves to not tell his own court things. I was and still am very angry over him not telling Mor, Azriel, Cassien and at the very least his Wife about his plan with the court of nightmares. Just why.

Mors anger towards Nesta also makes no sense. sjm stop writing girl on girl hate challenge impossible

Point three: That one toy story scene “I dont wanna play with you anymore!”

Now tamlin. Tamlin tamlin tamlin im so sorry love for what sjm has done to you. If i start ill never stop. What Tamlin said to feyre and rhysand at the high lords meeting was out of pocket but he also wasnt wrong about some things. Also from established character these actions make no sense and his actions havent made sense since acomaf because sjm threw him and his character away to play with shadow daddy and bad morals. But she also cant commit to making a character of hers actually evil so tamlin saves the whole day by bringing the autumn court to fight and saving rhysand life. Tamlin has redeemed himself by sjm standards but she then wrote the holiday novel which i have read and detested.

Overall the plot was fine. i guess. it probably looked better when compared to the characters.

Sjm learn to redeem characters outside of “ooh they were abused and have trauma so everything they do is okay” for guys and “she fell in love/had sex with the most PERFECT MALE TO EVER MASCULINE.” its boring and flat. Also i know what happens in Acosf (i will not be reading that ty) so wtf happened to Nesta bro. she got the tamlin treatment. boooo 👎

to end off heres some of my favorite highlights from acowar 50%+ thru the book.

#a court of wings and ruin #anti acowar #anti sjm #sjm critical #anti rhysand #anti feysand #tamlin #pro tamlin #This book was bullshit