#ghost is usually left behind in the car or let go whenever it gets too much- roach is always with him waiting on the others | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nobodylivesson · 8 months

Text

The Black Cat

Fandom : Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II

Pairing : Task Force 141 X Male Reader(Platonic)

Request? No

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I sat quietly at the back end of the car, wanting nothing more than to take a quick shower now that we were about to reach Alejandro’s base and get some fucking sleep

These last few days with the tension of missiles hanging above our heads had everyone including Simon very serious but now with it gone they can all take a breath

But something wasn’t sitting right with like a nagging feeling constantly pricking my chest since I saw the missile detonate

I sighed and focused my sights outside in the darkness when a voice beside me asked “Still worried about something, (Y/N)? I presumed with the mission done, everyone would be happy but it looks like things still trouble you”

My mouth formed a thin line and with a calm face I faced Phillip Graves, another thing that has been bugging me for a long time

He and his shadow company have helped Task Force 141 a lot and I know Captain Price holds him in good regard but this was the first mission when I had met Graves face to face yet he has been trying to get to know me personally, too much for my comfortability

“Nothing much Graves, just some good old fatigue kicking in my systems after finally getting done with all that shit. Was thinking of all the things that are left to be done by us regarding the mission and thinking about it just made me feel more tired all over again” I lied smoothly while facing the front with my hands folded over my chest

My gut intuitions were never wrong and I know I shouldn’t be suspicious of someone new I had just met but you can never be less cautious, something Ghost always told me

“But why do I feel like there is more to it than you are letting on to me, I thought we have become close enough to share some secrets” Graves says with a smile like that of a Perfect A+ student making me internally roll my eyes

“Oh Graves, I think the tiredness is hitting you also for you to assume I am hiding things for I have shared everything I can think of with keeping our friendship in my mind. Anything more than that can be only shared if you become my lover which I, unfortunately, can’t just make anyone claim me like that” I say with a chuckle with my eyes still closed and I can instantly feel the atmosphere dropping inside the car

“Sergent, we don’t need to go that far I just wished we had a good relationship since General Shepard tells a lot about you” Graves tries to say with his usual tone but being a veteran, I can easily make out the anger hidden under his friendly words

I shrug my shoulder and look at him again with a smile before saying “I think we have already made that friendship Graves, if you want more try that out with Ghost or Captain Price, they are in desperate need of more friends. Anyway since your work is almost done I doubt we both will be meeting each other for a long time so creating extra friendliness would be saddening, you know?” As a matter of fact

But simply replied Graves “Well we can’t say for sure for the future might always change”

(Y/N) felt a shudder at this as a feeling of danger rang inside him but before he could say anything their car stopped just in front of the gates of Los Vaqueros which were guarded by Shadow Company’s soldiers

“What is happening here, Graves?” I asked in a low voice with my eyes pointed at the stationed soldiers of his to which Graves smiled and said in a hushed voice “It will be better for everyone if you stay put inside the car, (Y/N)” before getting down off the car with the other two soldiers while I see Alejandro get down from the car behind us

I quietly open the door by side and pop my head out to look at Ghost coming out of his side, giving me the look he always gives whenever he feels that shit is about to happen

I feel anger boiling inside my depts as I hear how General Shepard and Graves wanted us to fall back and everything was to be taken over by Shadow Company. I knew things were not right but I didn’t think it was as deep as this and I can see that Graves wanted to do more than just ‘take over’' this mission.

If not stopped with this bullshit things can go out of control, so I tried to step out of the car but Ghost stopped me with a shake of his head when I heard Graves say “Your men have been detained” and all hell broke loose as Alejandro pounced at Graves only to be pinned at our car

I swing open my door at once when I hear gunshots being fired towards Soap and see Simon hit the guard behind him, slipping a knife down my sleeve into my palm, I quickly kill the soldier waiting near my left side

Ghost turns around to disable another soldier coming towards him as I shoot another soldier towards my right when I get into high alert with Soap’s painful grunt heard after I saw an onslaught of bullets fired towards him

I make eye contact with Ghost who instantly can see my next actions and falls to the ground while I take leverage of the open window to jump on top of the car, surprising the soldiers on the other side

Without giving them any time, I shoot down the two guards with my gun before jumping down from the car roof in front of the unconscious Alejandro and saw Soap has managed to run down the hill

Graves who was going towards Ghost came out from the gap between my car and the one behind but couldn’t even turn as I jumped at his back to twist his hands, disarmed him and held a knife near his throat’s vital point

Immediately, the remaining soldiers paused upon seeing this but Graves just relaxed before asking “Well very crafty at your hands, aren’t ya? But would the value of your comrade be enough for slitting my throat? We can be less hostile, right?”

My eyes quickly look back and see that a sniper from the upper deck post of the gates has his sight on Alejandro, making my grip tighten but lowered my knife slowly before throwing it to the ground and releasing Graves to raise my hands high

“Now that’s a good boy! General Shepard always did say that Sergent Chat Noir was a fabulous and important member of Task Force 141 yet his weakness lies in his care for his fellow soldiers. Want to wish this inability of you didn’t exist at this moment, right?” Graves asked with a smirk as my hands were being tied down

I just blankly looked at him and tilted my head to look behind him when a huff escaped my nose and said “It seems sometimes arrogance makes the Great Phillip Graves forget the other factors of the situation”

Graves must have immediately realised what I meant by looking where I was looking as he turned around and cautiously went around the last car’s end to see Ghost had vanished

I can feel Graves's frustration as he looks down the hill where Soap has escaped and angrily spews “FUCK! I need you all to find ‘em!” before looking at me as I was held up by the two soldiers holding my tied hands, Alejandro held beside as well

“Well, at least we got the feline under control and would be getting the other two rouges soon. Don’t worry (Y/N), I will be giving you a visit soon for some personal talks till then enjoy some rest that you wanted!” Graves said while signalling for us to be taken away

I simply laughed at this as I walked towards the gates and shouted “WELL GRAVES! You will be getting the game of Chase of your life cause Sergent Soap and Lt.Ghost can handle babies like you with the back of their hands”

How amusing it was to watch to see Graves's dirty face scrunched in anger as I looked back before turning around and continuing to laugh

Oh hell is about to be thrown in the streets of Las Almas this night

In one of the dimly lit rooms of the prison of Las Almas, a man simply waited for his capturer to come as he slept on the ground with his hands behind his head and a leg popped on top of another

Since he had nothing better to do he decided to catch up on some sleep as he knew he would need his energy soon when his teammates came to get him

He was thrown here right after being tied for god knows what reason but being agitated or hyper about a situation you can’t do anything about is not his forte so he just chilled

That is until he heard the steel door of the room move and creak before it slowly opened, his eyes still closed and his body still relaxed

“Oh, it seems being locked here seems like a field trip for our prisoner for him to be so relaxed in the cell. So much for being part of Task Force 141” a voice hit the sleeping guy’s ear making him laugh in his mind

“Shush, don’t say unnecessary things. We do our things and bring him out as Sir Graves ordered. Now wake him up and be careful” another voice said in caution

“Hahaha, what can a sleeping man do! I have seen him throughout our whole mission and unlike Ghost or Soap, Sergeant Chat Noir was just laid back and seemed to survive somehow, makes me wonder if he got into special forces through connection” the first soldier says in mockery

“Oi mate! I don’t think-” the second soldier tried to warn but the other man interrupted him by saying “Nice to say? Or do you want to say safe? Come on and look at the situation, I don’t think anyone is gonna have the authority to question us about what we do here anymore cause we are the law now, definitely not this cat who got his tail caught” before standing near the sleeping man

(Y/N) at once opened his eyes and with his popped-up leg, kicked the standing soldier in his side making the soldier lose his sense. (Y/N) just held the front of the soldier and propelled that guy to the ground using his soldier, then badly twisted his right arm making it break and the soldier screamed in agony

The other soldier who saw all this happen was still gaping in shock when he realized (Y/N) was looking at him but he couldn’t even get his gun when one bullet hit each of his legs making him scream as well before a strong kick by (Y/N) made the soldier knock out cold

(Y/N) now calmly stands as he observes his work where the first soldier was still groaning in pain while the second was out cold yet it seemed he was not done yet as he turned towards the first soldier to do something more but stopped after hearing a voice

“I think if you feel the need to survive, you would leave those two boys alone, Sergeant” Graves's voice cuts through the cold atmosphere and (Y/N) already knows a gun is pointed at his back

(Y/N) simply just throws away the gun at his side and turns towards Graves with a broad smile as if he just didn’t demolish two of his soldiers with ease and muses “Nothing much, Graves just was trying to teach a life lesson to your soldiers who don’t know the meaning of being cautious no matter the situation. This kind of attitude would cost you in the far end, not me” as he comes out of his cell with his hands behind his head

Two new soldiers immediately withhold him while a third one goes to check on the soldiers inside

“Well do tell me how your presence Graves graces me?” (Y/N) asks mockingly to which the said man pays no mind and starts with a rant of his own

“As I have said before, General Shepard holds high regard for you and admires your skills. He feels your skills are being not given the importance they need under Price’s leadership and Task Force 141. That’s why, General Sheaprd has an offer for you. Join the Shadow Company and become General Shepard’s man, you will obtain everything you desire. Leave this useless piece of uniform and join the real army” Graves says as he holds (Y/N) face up by his chin

(Y/N) didn’t show any emotion like a trained person and Graves just frowned

“What will happen if I decline this offer?” the other soldier asks to which Graves smiles and replies “You will be pushed into the cell with Captain Alejandro after which we shall go out to kill Ghost and Soap. We will think after that what shall be done with you and of the missile crisis”

Suddenly (Y/N) starts to giggle before fully laughing confusing everyone around him

“Are you naive enough to think that your men have the capabilities to kill a ghost and its guard dog? An Undead can’t be killed twice and a loyal hound would do anything to protect its master, even bite your arrogant head to pieces. You all might be hunters of the dark but those two are the ones who control the dark, so I wonder who would end up being hunted in the end” (Y/N) mockingly laughter echoing around the floor

The soldiers paled at this thing and Graves for the first time showed his anger, face distorting with scorn and his hand harshly brought (Y/N)’s closure to his, their noses almost touching

“Well then, when I drag and throw both of their bodies in front of you I wonder how you will react, Black Noir. Maybe then you would be willing enough to change your mind and join along this side, under my leadership” Graves lowly whispers to which (Y/N) continues to smile

“First let’s see you make do it and then we shall discuss my reaction. Take back your worthless offer and let me rest up in the cell, the only person who commands me is Captain Price and one team I have joined will be Task Force 141 forever. A person impersonating a captain is just arrogant and shallow, not worthy of being my leader” all stated making Graves growl before harshly kicking (Y/N) on the stomach

(Y/N) winches at this yet still maintains his eye contact with Graves

“If it weren’t General Shepard’s orders you would be twenty feet under the ground sergeant, always remember that. Put him in the cell with the other one” Graves says it all as he prepares to open the door of Alejandro's cell and (Y/N) only rolls his eyes at this when he notices the soldiers he has beaten up being escorted out after being given first aid probably to be taken to a hospital

(Y/N) eyes shine and he loudly says “Oh soldier it seems you have woken up” making the soldier who was speaking shit about him sharply look at him with a fear stricken face

It made (Y/N) feel a jolt of excitement and he continued saying “Well soldier I wanted to tell about why I had Black Noir as my codename but you were not in the state to here, so listen. Black cats are known to give bad luck to those whom they presume as their enemy and on a battlefield I am the worst luck any enemy can stumble upon if they wished to return alive. Remember that when we meet again, soldiers” his voice suggested which everyone understood including Graves who simply opened the door to make sure none of his veins was popping out of anger

“Los fantasmas no existen, hasta que te topas con ellos. Remember this Graves Philip, when you go out today for your so called hunt. I shall see you soon” was all (Y/N) said before he was thrown inside the cell

(Y/N) straightens himself and sighs when he notices Alejandro standing at the end of the cell looking at him with frowned eyes

“Thought you would throw a fit when the door got opened, Amigo” the shorter male says with a grin to Alejandro who says with a sigh “Well after the storm you kicked up outside I knew that if I did something irrational now, I would get killed”

(Y/N) chuckles as takes a seat on the ground with his back and head being supported to the wall after going through all that shit, also the pain in his stomach from being kicked was still troubling him

Alejandro comes to take a seat beside the closed-eye male, for after a long time (Y/N) felt a little peace coming to him

Alas, he couldn’t take a rest with Alejandro’s eyes drilling holes at his side

“Something bugging you or is my face to guapo de manejar, Amigo?” (Y/N) asks jokingly to which he receives a punch at his right arm and a huff as a reply as silence again takes place

“If you want to say something just go ahead, I will be listening to you Sire” (Y/N) says while looking towards Alejandro with serious eyes making the said man just shake his head before seriously asking “Why did you stay behind, Sergeant (Y/N)? I have heard enough about your skills from Lieutenant Ghost and Sergeant Soap to know that you had enough chances to escape with them and wouldn’t it have benefited us all if all three of you escaped”

(Y/N) hums and looks front while stroking his chin with his finger as if thinking deeply but instantly turns back to Alejandro with a smile seemingly an answer ready

“My instincts at that moment told me that creating a diversion and getting all the attention would be the best course of action if we wanted everything alright” (Y/N) says with a shrug to which Alejandro looks at him with a face thinking ‘Are you crazy or shit?’ before saying “Are ya serious? Just your instincts were enough for you to do this? Just as Ghost said you are one hell of a crazy burro”

“Damn gotta tell Leutinant to stop talking about me behind my back, instead do it more openly while we all talk together so I can hear these compliments in real time and feel great” (Y/N) says with a snicker and seeing Alejandro’s unimpressed look return back to the topic “I mean my instincts isn’t just purely instincts, I mean my trusts on the other, the knowledge about the other party, the best way to approach the situation and minimal damage to comrades also play a big part”

Alejandro asks with a raised eyebrow “You trust your comrades enough to know they would be able to come over here on their own?” to which (Y/N) simply “Do you not trust them enough? Or else you would definitely have tried to escape earlier when I entered no matter the risk, Sire”

Both men stare at each other for some time but Alejandro is the first one to break it as he sighs before he moves close to (Y/N)’s ear as if to say something confidential

“I would have never asked to work with the team if I didn’t believe in them. If both men can clear through the city and reach the safe house I told them about, Rudolf who also hasn’t been caught will be able to help them from there” Alejandro whispers making (Y/N) lean back at the wall in ease

If (Y/N) was being honest, no matter how much confidence he showed regarding his teammates' success, worry still lingered in some corner of his heart about how they would proceed with this mission and he didn’t want them to risk their lives. These guys were the only people (Y/N) called his family and friends, something happening to them would be devastating, to say the least, but he can relax now

“Well then we just sit back and can only wait now” (Y/N) says with a hum to which Alejandro asks “Oh, so we are done and ready?”

“Yes of course, now we just wait till those two are done with their Parade of death against the Shadows and make it clear who returns to the ground, us or those bastards”

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There is not much to say, just that I have shown my face once to make people know I am not dead yet

#x male reader #cod mw2 #mw2 #call of duty mw2 #cod mwii #ghost mw2 #modern warfare 2 #soap mw2 #price mw2 #alejandro mw2 #graves mw2 #gaz mw2

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purple-babygirl · 3 years

Note

First of all… who told you that you could toy with my heart over your latest work: SamBucky and the injuries Little. Talk about the angst but fluff. Just mwah!

But will all that angst especially with Sam and Bucky—they are just a perfect combo, btw. I now am needy for angst to fluff (oops…). All I can think about is an insecure little who think that her daddies don’t love her after a misunderstanding, so she pack up her things and runs away. (But a happy ending is ensured) when Sam and Bucky are able to find her

Love you.

Pairing: SamBucky x little!f!reader

Word Count: 2,796

Warnings: polyamory, ddlg dynamics, a dash of angst, and a pinch of fluff

A/N: Hello, Nonnie! Thank you for reading, and thank you for sharing this idea with me and allowing me to toy with your heart over it!💜💜 I was a puddle writing this one. I'm really sorry if this took me too long; I hope it's to your liking and I love you too *ghost kisses*💜 please enjoy xx

unwanted

“That's enough. Go to your room.” Sam demanded angrily, looking down at the cheerios covering the kitchen floor that he now would have to clean up.

“Papa-”

“All you do is cause trouble and I'm done! To your room, now!”

She's been bad again. It was the third time this week. She has been disobedient and impatient. Whenever Papa and Daddy told her to do anything she somehow managed to mess it up. Sam had told her not to touch anything but she wanted to help nevertheless. She couldn’t reach the cupboard though and ended up spilling the box of cereal all over the place.

Her gaze dropped and she walked to her room without another word and a few minutes later, Bucky came to give her lunch and collect her phone and tablet, taking away her screen time for the day.

“But daddy-”

“No, doll. I'm taking them away. You never listen anymore and it needs to stop.”

Papa and Daddy are mad at you. They don't love you no more. They're sick of you. You never listen and you're always bad. They could be so much happier and calmer if it wasn't for you always riling them up. They were done. It needed to stop. They don't love you no more. They don't want you no more. They don't love you. They don't want you.

She sat wallowing in her room, tears gathering in her eyes as her own mind attacked her. Maybe it was all true. All she does is cause trouble.

So maybe if she left…

She got up and got her big girl backpack out of the closet.

Maybe if she left Papa and Daddy would be better off without her.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she gathered and pushed items into her bag.

Maybe if she was gone they would be less angry.

She zipped the bag up before sloppily slipping her socks on and picking up her stuffed friend.

Maybe if she escaped the house she could escape her thoughts too; leave them all in her room and go.

She wiped her cheeks, tiptoed out of her room, found her shoes by the front door and quietly got into them. She could hear Daddy and Papa lowly laughing together while they got things done in the backyard. Leaving really was the right decision then; they were happier without her.

Taking one, last, tear-blurred look at the house, she stepped outside and quietly closed the door behind her. She held her small white bunny to her chest and sniffed before taking off, walking to the only place that would bring her comfort.

“She's going to be so happy. I can't wait to see her face.” Sam smiled proudly, hands on his waist as he took one last look at the swing he and Bucky have put together for their baby girl in the backyard.

“I really hope she likes it.” Bucky smiled back in agreement before opening the door for Sam and walking inside behind him.

They felt they were too hard on her that morning and she was usually a good girl, only intending to do good for her Daddy and Papa. So they decided to build the swing earlier than they’d previously planned to lighten things up again.

“Is it just me or is it awfully quiet in here?” Bucky murmured, bringing the water bottle down from his mouth and looking around the living room in slight suspicion.

“I mean, she is in a timeout and you did take away her phone,” Sam reminded him, trying not to let himself panic as he got himself a water bottle from the fridge.

But it wasn’t that. Bucky could still hear her presence no matter how quiet. He could hear her crayons gliding on paper when she would sit down to color. He could hear her hum as she organized her toys around the table for tea parties. This quietness wasn’t normal.

Bucky jogged up the stairs to her room and just as he feared, she wasn't in there. Her sandwich was untouched. Her closet was open and her backpack and favourite blankie were missing.

“Sam!” He called for his husband, taking long strides to their bedroom to find she wasn't there either.

Sam ran up the stairs at Bucky's freaked tone and saw him pacing through the hallway.

“She's not here.”

“What?” Sam’s heart sank into his stomach.

“I can't find her.” Bucky shook his head at Sam, running his fingers through his hair in growing panic.

“Hey, calm down. We're gonna find her.” Sam rubbed a hand down Bucky's back, trying to hide his own fright for Bucky's sake as his mind ran to every single place she knew how to get to on her own.

“How? How are we gonna find her? We don't even know where she went or if she's okay-”

Sam put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, the other cupping his cheek.

“Hey, breathe,” Sam instructed, slowly breathing so Bucky could copy him, trying to send away the panic attack ready to take over him. Bucky nuzzled his palm, his breath coming out shaky.

“That's it, Buck. In and out.” He moved his hands to Bucky’s.

“But she was so little when we sent her to her room and she probably doesn't even have any ID or money with her-”

“Bucky,” Sam squeezed his husband’s hands.

“We can't lose her, Sam. I can't- I took her phone away- if she's in trouble, she won't be able to-”

“Bucky, baby, we're gonna find her and she's gonna be okay. I promise.” Sam reassured him with words he himself wasn't sure would turn out to be true, his large palm stroking up and down the tense muscles of Bucky’s back, “I need you to keep breathing for me.”

Bucky tried to manage his breathing, slightly calming down to the thought of getting to hold her again.

“She couldn't have gotten that far, so we're gonna look around and I'm gonna call Steve, okay?” Bucky nodded at Sam's words, glossy eyes closing as Sam planted a kiss to the side of his forehead, “okay, baby. Let's go.”

Sam took the car, driving slowly, roaming the neighborhood to see if she was anywhere around the area. He was asking anyone and everyone who passed by his car if they've seen her. But apparently, no one has. Not even the old couple at the end of the street with the dog she loved to pet so much.

Bucky chose to go on foot as he walked in the other direction, preferring to depend on his enhanced senses instead of talking to other people. Even if he did talk to them for help, no one would understand that while her picture looked like that of a grown lady, she was a mere baby. They would never understand their panic.

Sam rubbed his forehead in frustration, leaning it against the wheel. He’d just hung up with Steve. He said she didn't come to his place; didn't even stop by. In fact, he hasn’t heard from her at all and got worried when Sam called. He took an uneven breath, trying to maintain his cool before he lifted his head up and started the car again.

Leaning back on the big tree, she wrapped her soft blankie tighter around her frame. It was getting kind of chilly and she was starting to regret leaving now that it wasn't that sunny anymore. The tears drying on her cheeks made her shiver even more and she sniffled, kissing her bunny's head and tugging the stuffed animal under her chin. She hoped Daddy and Papa were feeling better now that she was no longer there with them.

“Doll?” She heard Bucky's voice and before she could wonder if she'd imagined it, she was pressed to a hard chest.

“Oh, thank god,” Bucky sighed, kissing the side of her head over and over again, his hands tight around her back, holding her and her bunny close to his frantically beating heart.

“Baby, why'd you leave like that? We were so worried! We looked everywhere, we called everyone.” Bucky kissed her forehead a bunch before “-oh right!”

He got his phone out of his pocket with one arm, the other still firmly holding her to his chest. She kept holding onto her bunny, not really getting what was happening. Was she in trouble for leaving unannounced or not? Why would Daddy and Papa want to find her? She was nothing but trouble.

“Sam, I found her! We're in our secret place in the park.”

At Bucky's call, Sam took a sharp turn, stepping on the gas to get to the park as fast as he could.

“Are you okay, doll? Are you hurt anywhere?” Bucky asked her after hanging up, anxiously checking her head, face, arms and legs for injuries.

She shook her head silently, fresh, hot tears burning at the brims of her eyes.

“Thank god.” Bucky hugged her to his chest again, “we were so scared, doll. We were so scared.”

He kissed her damp cheeks and chin as she kept biting her lip, quietly sniveling.

She'd scared them. She'd worried them. Why was it always that she did something wrong while trying to do anything right? She was no good.

“It’s okay, love. I found you. I’m right here.” Bucky kissed her eyelids, then her nose, thinking she was crying because she was lost alone.

He pulled her on his lap and adjusted himself in her place, his back to the tree trunk as he held her close, fearing she’d disappear if he were to loosen his grip around her.

“Sugar!” Sam’s voice echoed through the empty part of the park when he saw her burrito-wrapped body in Bucky’s lap.

“Papa’s here, doll. It’s okay.” Bucky whispered to her when she didn’t stop crying.

She turned around and her eyes met Sam’s watery, brown ones.

“Hey, sugar,” Sam greeted softly, getting down on his knees before her.

Her lower lip jutted out further as new tears soaked her pretty face. It hasn’t even been a whole day and she’s missed Papa and Daddy so much. How was she ever planning on running away from them or being without them?

“Aww, no, no, baby, it’s okay,” Sam cooed, bringing her to his chest and engulfing her in a protective hug.

Her blanket fell in Bucky’s lap and she dropped her bunny to cling to Sam, barely quieting her sobs.

Not able to hold himself together any longer, a tear escaped Sam’s eye his gaze met Bucky’s. He buried his nose in her hair and squeezed her closer to him, sighing in relief that they’ve found her. His mind kept torturing him with scenarios of her getting hurt and not getting help. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if they’d actually lost her.

“You’re okay, sugar. Papa’s here with you. I’m sorry it took us so long, baby. We were looking in a lot of places.” Sam sniffled, pulling back to pepper featherlike kisses all over her face.

“You wanted to find me?” Her small, brittle voice asked, doe eyes staring up sadly.

“What? Of course we wanted to find you, baby! Why would you think otherwise?!”

“But I was bad. You w-were done. It needed to stop,” she repeated his and Bucky’s words on him and Sam felt shame cover him from head to toe, Bucky not any different as he bit down to stop his tears.

“Doll,” Bucky went to hold her hands only to find they were freezing.

“Shit! She’s too cold,” he told Sam, who immediately started taking off his jacket.

“Dada, bad word,” she softly reminded Bucky, covering her mouth with her hand before Sam got out of his jacket.

Sam slipped his warm jacket on her and pulled the zipper up, her small hands disappearing inside the long sleeves.

“Good girl, sugar. It is a bad word.” He rolled the sleeves back just enough to get her palms out so she could still hold her bunny.

“But you don’t see me asking daddy to leave because he was bad, do you?” Sam asked tenderly and she shook her head no.

“Exactly, I’m not. You know why?” Sam pressed kisses to both of her hands multiple times, rubbing them between his palms to warm her up.

“Why, papa?” she asked as he carried her in his arms; Bucky gathering the rest of her stuff.

“Because I love him so much." Sam wiped her tears. "And both me and daddy love you so so so much, sugar.” He pressed a firm kiss to her temple.

Bucky handed her the small bunny back after patting any dust or leaves out of it.

“We never want you to go, doll.” Bucky pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

“Even when I’m really really bad?”

“Even if you’re really really bad,” Sam guaranteed, kissing her temple again.

“But- I thought papa and daddy would be happier and not so angry no more if I left,” she mumbled innocently as Sam started walking to the car with her in his arms.

“That could never be true, doll. We’re only happy as long as we have you,” Bucky reassured her, opening the backseat door so Papa could slip in with her on his lap.

“And you still love me?” Her pout, teary puppy eyes and words were just killing both men inside.

“Of course we love you, doll! We will always love you. We can never afford to lose you,” Bucky told her, his eyes searching hers to offer them comfort.

“Baby, we love you so much it’s uncountable, remember?” Sam ran his thumb over the knuckles of her stuffie-holding hands.

She nodded, her eyes teary but her smile comforted and reassured. “I love you too, Papa,” she mumbled, grabbing onto Sam’s thumb, her eyelids barely staying open.

“I’m sorry I left,” she sniffled.

“It’s alright, baby. We’re all together now and we're going home.” Sam kissed her forehead once more, wanting her to forget all about it and know everything was okay again.

“Told you we’d find her,” Sam said, drawing Bucky inside the car by the cheek and brushing his lips against his.

“You did.” Bucky nodded, pressing his forehead to Sam’s and kissing him again.

Bucky pulled back and smiled adoringly at her sleepy eyes fighting to stay open as she leaned onto Sam's chest before getting in the driver’s seat to take them home. Sam was caressing her hair and before she knew it her eyes were fluttering closed.

All the crying all day had drained her and her body could finally give up and relax now that she was in Papa’s hold; she was out like a light.

“You’re so important to me and daddy, sugar. Never ever forget that,” Sam whispered against her forehead before pressing a slow kiss to her skin.

She might've had no idea how adored and cherished she actually was, but that was okay. Sam and Bucky had a lifetime ahead of them where they could show her again and again that they loved and needed her just as much as she did them.

“Dada! Papa! Wake up! We have a swing!”

She’d fallen asleep pretty early in the car last night and neither Sam nor Bucky had the heart to wake her up when they got home. So they took her shoes and socks off and tucked her in in their bed.

Now they had to deal with her waking up way too early. She’d gone to the bathroom on her own like a good girl before her stomach hungrily grumbled. And when she got to the kitchen for a cup of water and maybe the plate of fruit in the fridge, her eyes fell on the swing showing outside the small window on the kitchen door.

Bucky rolled over and opened his eyes first, her jumping on her knees on the bed beside him pulling him out of his dreams. Sam, however, didn’t move a muscle. The man slept so soundly that sometimes Bucky was jealous. How heavy of a sleeper could a person be?

“Yes, we do, baby.” Bucky chuckled. “Me and papa built it just for you.” He smiled sleepily at her excited face before annoyingly poking Sam’s back, “Sam, wake up.”

“Tank you, dada.” She settled back on her ankles though still buzzing with joy.

“You like it, sugar?” Bucky opened his arms wide for her.

“Yes, I love it.” She nodded happily before perching herself on his hard chest, cutely kissing his jaw, “and I love you, dada.”

“Sam.” He affectionately punched his sleeping husband’s shoulder, smirking when he heard him groan, “she likes the swing.”

1K notes · View notes

etceteraon · 3 years

Text

losing heart | hjs

pairing: gamer!jisung x female reader

genre: f2l, fluff, romance, angst

warnings: slight language

word count: 10.2k

summary: after meeting and starting to date your close online friend of a few months, you start to realize that maybe you might have been better off staying online.

a/n: this is my first fic and I really hope it's enjoyable, I worked really hard on it and hope it meets any expectations. I also wanted to thank

@softbbyg0rl

for being so kind as to help me proofread this and actually help me expand upon it, I'm really thankful for their help and this probably wouldn't be half of what it is without them helping me out. I am indebted to them /j. I also had another friend help me read over this and I promised them a jeongin x reader in return, so expect that in the near future!

Video games had never been an issue for you before. You enjoyed them yourself normally, occupying yourself with various titles and genres of video games. Growing up you were known as the nerdy kid, finding interest in things that the other kids deemed ‘weird’. Really it was just that they were closed minded and couldn’t accept anything that was different or new. Anime and video games were entertaining, it didn't matter to you what other people thought about it. It was something that had helped you bond with some of your family members, and had helped you make a few friends over the years, one of them being your current boyfriend, Han Jisung.

The two of you had met online in a game you both enjoyed, Genshin Impact. Normally conversation in this game wasn’t much, just asking what the other needed and helping the other out with it. Things like domains, bosses, etc. After that was all said and done, you said your goodbyes and left, more than likely never encountering the other player ever again. When you and Jisung had met in the game however, things had gone much differently. It was only after about an hour of grinding domains that he had asked for your Discord, the two of you chatting on there for a few weeks before you both mustered up the courage to voice call. A few weeks after that, it was video calls. Only a couple months later, you two were very close friends, playing games and hanging out whenever you both had free time.

How quickly you two had clicked was a mystery to the both of you, but even your online friends were surprised at how fast you had let Han Jisung into your circle. Normally you were very particular about who you spoke to, let alone on a daily basis. Whenever you first met someone you usually spent the first few weeks getting a read on their personality and getting to know them before even thinking about actually getting close to them. It seemed Jisung had just rubbed off on you so quickly you hadn’t had a chance to actually go through your usual process.

When Jisung had suddenly brought up the idea of meeting in person just six months after first meeting each other online, it came as a shock to you, not expecting him to be the one to suggest it since you had learned he was actually an introvert despite his online persona. You had both learned that you lived relatively close to each other, having discussed where you lived previously. It was still about a two hour trip from your house though. Jisung of course had suggested he be the one to travel, but you didn’t want to cause him any more anxiety than he already had and told him you’d be more than willing to do the traveling.

A week was all it had taken for you to get on a bus and travel from your hometown to his. Jisung was texting you the entire ride there, clearly nervous with how many questions he was asking, probably wondering to himself if he should just call it all off. Your other online friends had gotten quite jealous since you hadn’t even met them yet, but you had to remind them just how much further away they were compared to him. They couldn’t argue with that. The two hour ride hadn’t felt long, your legs relieved to be standing upright as you exited the bus, holding your bag close as you looked around nervously. You had never done something like this before, and you honestly hadn’t even realized just how nervous you were up until now.

Scanning the busy sidewalk, you squinted, nibbling on your bottom lip as you struggled to focus, your heart slamming against your chest. Having to wear masks didn’t make things any easier, only being able to see the top half of people's faces really limited your ability to recognize someone you had only ever seen over the phone. After a few minutes, you had begun to wonder if Jisung had up and ditched you. Scrambling for your phone, you nearly dropped it, hissing as you unlocked it and looked over your messages with Jisung. He had said he was on his way to the bus stop a half an hour ago. It couldn’t take him that long could it?

About to call him, you walked over to the bench and sat yourself down, pressing the dial button and placing the phone up to your ear, looking around sheepishly, silently wondering if you were going to be ghosted and have to take another two hour drive home. Faintly you could hear the sound of a phone ringing, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you turned your attention to the source, seeing a rather short male with bleach blonde hair running towards the bus stop with a motorcycle helmet in hand. It was only moments before the male wearing all black actually reached the stop, looking around, locking eyes with you for a moment before pulling out his phone that was ringing and taking less than a second to look at the caller ID before answering.

“Y/n? I just got here- Where are you?” He questioned, nearly making you scoff into your phone’s receiver as you stood up, looking directly at him and cocking an eyebrow.

“Right in front of you.”

The slow turn and the look of realization was more than comical. Jisung’s eyes widening and then scrunching as he smiled under his mask. Hanging up the phone he slowly walked over, rubbing the back of his neck as he cleared his throat, shaking slightly with anxiety. “I uh, I’m sorry for getting here late. I kind of ran into an issue and had to do some last minute problem solving.” He explained, earning a head tilt from you. “What kind of problem?” You asked, wanting him to elaborate.

A quiet chuckle left his lips as he held up the motorcycle helmet he was holding, motioning back towards a bike that was parked on the side of the road. “I only had one. So I had to go and buy another.” You were sure your expression had matched Jisung’s from just moments before, in shock as you realized the motorcycle was his. If he was slow at realizing you were right in front of him, you were slow in realizing something much more obvious. “You never told me you drive a motorcycle…” You trailed off, Jisung nodding slowly in agreement.

“Ride a motorcycle but yeah. It never really came up and I’m not one of those people who constantly brags about riding one. It’s just a mode of transportation and happens to be cheaper than a car.” He shrugged, and honestly, you couldn’t argue with his reasoning. Clearing your throat, you shrugged your bag further up onto your shoulder, shifting your weight back and forth on your feet. “Well, I’m here. Now what?”

Jisung paused for a moment, seemingly processing your words before motioning towards his bike once more. “I figured we could go back to my place. I figured I’d order food since I’m not the best cook as you know. Almost burnt down my apartment on multiple occasions. My roommate is there, but he’s really chill. You’ve heard him every now and then on call or on mic. He normally keeps to himself, but I already told him about you coming and he doesn’t mind.” He stopped, thinking about whether or not that was everything he was wanting to say. “...Yeah. Unless you don’t feel comfortable with that of course. We can always go somewhere public and just hang out like that.” He offered, clearly not wanting to make you do anything you didn’t want to do.

“No, that sounds great.” You assured him, seeing his eyes scrunch as he smiled again, nodding happily. “Okay cool, let me just-” He stepped forward, getting alarmingly close and leaning forward. It felt as if your heart had stopped beating and the world was moving in slow motion around you. But before you could let your mind wander too far, Jisung placed the helmet he had been holding on your head, knocking you right out of your trance. “-ouch…” You mumbled, Jisung leaning back just slightly to look you in the eyes.

“Sorry, it’s kind of heavy, but it’ll keep your head intact.” He joked quietly, making sure everything was tight, locked and secure before stepping back and flipping the shield to cover your face, smirking slightly as he smacked the top of the helmet. “You good in there?”

Rolling your eyes, you flipped the shield back up to glare at him, smacking his arm as he laughed. “So you’re an ass in person too?” Jisung clicked his tongue before snapping his fingers and shooting finger guns at you. “You know it.” You were internally cringing, but before you could even think about teasing him for it, he was walking over to his bike and you had no choice but to follow, trailing behind him like a lost puppy.

You watched as he got on his bike, pulling his helmet on with ease and starting the engine, the loud sound making you flinch. If Jisung noticed this he didn’t comment on it, simply looking over at you and moving his head to the side, signaling for you to get on the bike. You had never rode one before, so this was a nerve wracking situation. What happened if you fell off? What if you got into an accident? Your mom had always told you just how dangerous motorcycles were. What if this was a bad idea?

Suddenly, Jisung was off of his bike and his hands were on your waist, lifting you up and onto the motorcycle, flipping your face shield back down before getting back on himself. He kicked the stand up so he was now balancing the bike himself. Looking back at you, he raised his voice so you could hear him over the sound of the motor. “I’d suggest you put your arms around me unless you wanna fall off.” Mean, but you knew he was just trying to tease you. You didn’t waste any time to wrap your arms securely around his waist, your head resting against his back. You swear you could feel him laugh as he flipped his face shield down, but you didn’t have any time to really think about it before he was off, riding down the streets of Incheon with you clinging to him for dear life.

The ride to his apartment felt like forever when in reality it only took a few minutes. Your grip on him hadn’t loosened in the slightest, far too afraid of falling from the motorcycle. Even after he had parked and turned off the engine, you were still sticking to him, an audible laugh leaving his lips as he took off his helmet. “You plan on letting go anytime soon?” He teased, you only shaking your head in response. He snickered before carefully prying your hands off of his waist, getting off of the bike and helping you off before taking your helmet and tilting his head slightly, noting your expression. “Was it that bad? I tried to be a little less reckless than normal.” His tone was joking, but you could tell he was genuinely concerned he had scared you.

“N-No it wasn’t that bad, just not used to it.” You assured him, stumbling slightly as you tried to take a step forward, his arms quickly reaching forward and holding you so you didn’t fall. “Jeez, we’re lucky you don’t have very far to walk.” Again with the teasing. You weren’t surprised by it though, Jisung had always been like that when you two talked. You scoffed, hanging on to his arm as you steadied yourself. “Shut up Ji. Where’s your place?” You questioned, Jisung smirking before leading you towards the building, letting you hang on to his arm without much thought. He didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest despite having told you that physical contact made him nervous. You wondered what had changed. Carefully leading you inside and through the building, the both of you made it to his apartment, you finally letting go of him as he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. If his roommate was home you weren’t sure why the door was locked, but you didn’t bother to question it as the door opened and Jisung motioned inside. “Ladies first.”

“When have you ever considered me a lady?” You joked, stepping into the apartment and looking around curiously, Jisung scoffing at your question as he shut the door behind the both of you. “Since always. You are one are you not?”

Shrugging, you didn’t answer his question, tugging at the straps on your bag as you walked further into the apartment. For some reason the decor didn’t really feel like it matched Jisung. After all, he had this whole e-boy/rocker look going on and you had fully expected the apartment to be messy and unorganized, but it was the complete opposite. It was clean, spotless even, and it made you wonder if he had cleaned simply because he knew you were coming to visit. Turning to look over your shoulder, Jisung smiled sheepishly, fiddling with a zipper on his leather jacket. “My roommate helped clean everything up. It doesn’t usually look like this.” He admitted, making you laugh and shake your head. “I figured as much.”

As if on cue, another male stepped out of a room in the hall, locking eyes with you and giving you a questioning look before noticing Jisung standing beside you, putting two and two together as a smile started to form on his face. “Oh, you must be Y/n-ssi.” He stated matter-of-factly, making his way down the hall towards the both of you and holding out his hand to you in greeting. You gingerly grasped his hand, smiling softly as he began to introduce himself while shaking your hand. “I’m Yang Jeongin, 01’ liner.”

Your eyes lit up at the realization that you were both the same age, “L/n Y/n, also 01’ liner.” You stated, watching as he relaxed a little realizing that he no longer needed to be so formal with you. The two of you let go of each other's hands, “Ah, well it’s nice to meet you Y/n. Jisung hyung has talked about you a lot.”

Raising an eyebrow, you glanced back at Jisung who smiled and shrugged as if to say he didn’t know what Jeongin was referring to. “I hope it was only good things.” You returned your attention to the male in front of you, watching as he chuckled and quickly nodded his head in agreement with your words. “Only good things. He’s always going on about how much he enjoys your company and how pr-”

“Yang Jeongin- '' Jisung cut him off suddenly, the younger male’s eyes widening before a mischievous smile crossed his face. The two males exchanged various expressions, you watching in confusion as they had a silent conversation with their faces. After a few moments, you cleared your throat, feeling awkward just standing between the two as they acted as if you weren’t right there. Snapping out of it, Jisung looked at you, quickly putting on a smile as he placed a hand on the small of your back, leading you towards the hall. “How about we hang out in my room, hm?”

“Wha- but I thought-” You trailed off, Jeongin following behind the two of you. “Seriously Jisung hyung? I thought we were all gonna hang out-” He mumbled, Jisung shaking his head as he practically pushed you into his room, stepping inside and shutting the door on Jeongin before the younger could hold it open. Locking it, Jisung turned to you, noticing your quizzical expression. He chuckled nervously, placing his hands in his pockets as he averted his gaze. “I just thought it might be better to hang out alone for a little while.” He stated, though his words sounded off, like he was only partly telling the truth.

You decided not to pry however, glancing at the door behind him. “What about Jeongin? He seemed upset.” Jisung shook his head, moving away from the door and closer to you. “He’ll be fine. He’s only being like that since we don’t normally have people over. After we hang out on our own for a while and go back out there he’ll forget about it.” He sounded so sure of himself that you had no reason not to believe him, nodding slowly as Jisung bit down on his bottom lip, seemingly debating something in his head.

“What’s up Ji?” You questioned, said male letting out a breathy laugh, not at all surprised that you had noticed something was going on in his head. “I uh- well I didn’t want to make it weird or anything but… I was wondering if I could give you a hug?” He sounded like he was nervous, and that suspicion was confirmed when you noticed how he was refusing to look at you, shifting back and forth on his feet. You found this cute, giggling quietly as you looked him over. You had just been practically glued to him while he was taking you back to his place on his motorcycle and now he was all shy and nervous because he wanted a hug?

Wordlessly, you crossed the remaining space between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his waist and looking up at him. Jisung tensed up slightly at your touch, remaining still for a moment before wrapping his arms around you, holding you close and resting his head on top of yours. “I made that weird didn’t I?” Snickering, you nodded, still keeping your hold on him but closing your eyes. “Just a little, but it’s fine. You make everything weird.”

An offended sound left his lips, earning a laugh from you as he pouted. “I do not make everything weird.” He mumbled, watching as you slowly pulled away and sat down on his bed, glancing around the room to actually take everything in. The decor in his room definitely made more sense, anime posters and figurines, manga, various instruments, LED lights adorning the ceiling, his gaming setup. It was all very Han Jisung. A light blush adorned Jisung’s cheeks as he cleared his throat and sat down beside you, nibbling the inside of his cheek. “Sailor Moon huh?” You teased, watching as his ears turned red with embarrassment.

“You’re gonna make me take all of this down right now I swear.” He huffed, eyeing you as you took your bag off and set it on the floor before falling back onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling and kicking your feet. “I think it’s cute. I like Sailor Moon too, she’s pretty.” You admitted, meeting his gaze to show that you were being honest.

“I mean, what’s not to like about her? She’s funny, sweet, caring, cute- plus she has a cute cat and super powers. Not only that but her outfit when she transforms is adorable. I’d wear that if I could.” You trailed off, watching as Jisung’s expression changed. You couldn’t read what it was, but there was a slight sparkle in his eyes as you spoke about his favorite anime character. “What are you thinking about?” You pondered, Jisung smiling as he snapped out of his trance, laying down beside you. “I just didn’t expect you to like Sailor Moon too. We never talked about that before so I didn’t even know you liked anime.” You considered his words before realizing that he was right, nodding slowly.

“I do. I watch it every now and then when I have time, but I grew up watching it. Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Naruto, the essentials.” The two of you talked about anime and your other interests besides gaming for a while, simply laying on Jisung’s bed as you both relaxed and spent time together, getting to know each other a little more. It was almost comical how easily you two got comfortable with each other despite having never met in person up until then. You both stayed there for about an hour before Jisung had brought up his music, asking you if you wanted to hear what he had been working on. Of course you obliged, sitting up as he grabbed his guitar and made his way back over, playing a few songs for you after getting over his initial nervousness to sing in front of you.

You praised him for how good he was at singing and playing the guitar, also mentioning just how thoughtful and beautiful his lyrics were. He turned bright red at your compliments, shaking his head as he put his guitar back, holding out his hand to you as he came back over, asking if you wanted to go out into the living room and watch some TV and order some food. Of course you agreed and took his hand, getting up and following him out of his room and into the living room where Jeongin was sitting, his eyes moving from the TV to the both of you. “Oh, are you finally gonna come out here and hang out?” You could tell he was upset, but not enough to cause his voice to sound angry.

Jisung simply nodded at his roommate, going over to the couch and scooting him over before sitting down himself and patting the empty spot beside him for you to sit. You made your way over to the two males, slowly sitting down as you looked at what Jeongin had been watching, some YouTuber playing a game you had never seen before. Looked like both of the boys were gamers, which made sense. Jisung took the remote from Jeongin, switching it from YouTube to Netflix and clicking his account before handing you the remote. “You can watch whatever you want.” He told you, pulling out his phone so he could order food, Jeongin looking over his shoulder as he mumbled to the older male what he felt like eating. You laughed quietly, shaking your head before returning your focus to the TV.

You picked out an animated movie you hadn’t seen in a while, reaching forward and setting the TV remote down on the small table situated in front of the couch. Leaning back you noticed Jisung’s eyes glued to the TV, confused at his expression until Jeongin also looked up. “Ah, Jisung hyung watches this all the time. I think I’ve seen it at least twenty times.” He mumbled, your eyes widening as you leaned forward to grab the remote. “I can pick something else if you both have already seen this-” Jisung quickly reached forward, shaking his head as he took the remote and set it back down.

“No, it’s fine. If you want to watch it, we can watch it.” There was something different about his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what. Nodding, you went back to your previous sitting position, Jisung mumbling something you didn’t catch before handing you his phone. “What do you feel like eating?”

The three of you debated over what to eat for a while, mainly because you would suggest something, they would agree and you would go right back to asking them if they were really okay with what you had picked and then you were back to square one. Eventually you actually managed to decide on something, Jisung ordering for all three of you and then focusing on the movie. The three of you sat in silence, enjoying each other’s company. It was about halfway through the movie that the food arrived, Jeongin getting up before Jisung could, opening the door and thanking the delivery person before bringing the food in and shutting the door behind him. He quickly sorted out the food in the kitchen before bringing it all over, handing both you and Jisung yours before sitting down and starting to eat his own, not even bothering to wait or thank Jisung.

Giggling, you quietly thanked Jisung who shrugged it off, saying it wasn’t a big deal as he began to eat. The rest of the night was spent pretty much the same, the three of you watching various movies before Jeongin decided to retire for the night, saying goodnight to both you and Jisung before shutting himself in his room, leaving you and Jisung alone in the living room. Once the movie you were watching was over, Jisung cleared his throat, causing you to look over at him, feeling a little tired, but not trying to show it. Of course, it seemed like Jisung knew even with you trying to hide it, a soft smile on his lips as he slowly stood up. “You can sleep in my bed. I’ll take the couch.” Always the gentleman.

You opened your mouth to argue but he shook his head before you could, “I’m not letting you take the couch. So either you take the bed, or I end up on the floor. If you sleep on the couch I’m sleeping on the floor, so either way I’m not sleeping in my bed. Would you rather me sleep on the couch or the floor?” He didn’t give you much choice, but you knew he wasn’t bluffing. Groaning, you lifted yourself off the couch, ignoring his cheeky laugh as he led you back to his room, turning on the light and showing you where everything was in case you needed it. He then reminded you that he’d be on the couch in the event you needed him for anything, saying goodnight and giving you another hug before leaving his room and shutting the door to give you some privacy.

Everything felt like a daydream up until that point, a sigh leaving your lips now that you were alone in his bedroom. You locked the door so you could change into your nightclothes. After you had done so, you moved to unlock the door, your attention grabbed by an out of place manga just after. You walked over, picking it up and moving to put it back in its place, only for pages to fall out of it, your eyes widening when you thought you had accidentally ruined something of his, only to notice when going to pick them up that they were song lyrics and different ideas for songs. You felt like you were invading his privacy, quickly trying to stuff the pages back into the manga before your eyes fell upon your name. Furrowing your eyebrows, you couldn’t help but look over the page, eyes widening.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and before you could react Jisung was already in the room. “Sorry I forgot that I need to get my clothes-” He stopped once he caught sight of you, clearly in shock with how he simply stood there. You smiled sheepishly, placing the paper you held back into the manga and closing it. “I didn’t mean to look through it. I was going to put it up because I saw that it wasn’t where it was supposed to be and then a bunch of pages fell out.” You tried to explain, Jisung finally moved to take the manga from you, setting it back down on his desk before looking you in the eyes.

“You read it didn’t you?” His voice was calm, but you could tell by how quickly his eyes were scanning your face that he was anxious to hear your answer. Nodding, you bit down on your bottom lip, unsure of what to say or do. Jisung sighed, taking a step back and running a hand through his bleached locks, “God- I didn’t want you to find that… I meant to tell you, like actually tell you. I wanted to send you that song once I had finished it.” He mumbled, his admission making your cheeks heat up a little. So you weren’t reading too much into everything.

Reaching forward, you pulled Jisung into a hug, clearly surprising him as he squeaked in surprise. “Wh-” Before he could even finish his question, you interjected. “I like you too Ji.” It was simple, it was to the point, it was the truth. You felt Jisung tense in your grip before relaxing completely only seconds later, pulling you closer to him as he let out a breathy chuckle. “So, I don’t need to send you that song?” He questioned, looking down at you as you smiled. “I’d still love to hear it.” Smiling, Jisung leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I think I’ll finally be able to finish it now.”

That was how everything had started, and that was what got you here. Laying in your shared bed staring up at the ceiling as the subtle sound of clicking and the drag of a computer mouse filled the room. You weren’t sure how long you had been laying here, but it had been a while. Slowly, you turned your body to the side, seeing your boyfriend's back turned towards you, facing his monitors, headphones over his ears. You weren’t sure when was the last time the two of you had actually spent any time together. In between work and his constant gaming addiction, it seemed you were always left to occupy yourself. When you got back from your job, he was usually asleep, so you’d climb into bed with him and sleep yourself. Almost every time when you would get up, he’d either be gone or sitting at his desk and playing video games. That was when your dislike for video games began.

Today was no different it seemed, a quiet sigh leaving your lips as you reached over to your nightstand, picking up your phone and checking the time. It was late. Though you could have guessed that by how dark the room was, the LEDs on the ceiling the only thing illuminating the room. They had been Jisung’s idea, but you hadn’t objected since you figured it would be both of your living space and he ought to have some things of his own as well. You felt a sinking in your chest as you came to the realization that your fear was more than likely true. You had gone off to work that morning hoping, praying that Jisung would at least remember your birthday. But it seemed he hadn’t, far too engrossed in his video games to even notice you were awake.

Gulping, you pulled yourself off of the mattress, deciding you weren’t going to make a big scene. You left the bedroom in silence, going out to the small living room of the apartment and sitting yourself down on the couch in front of the TV. You could feel tears pricking at your eyes, but you wouldn’t let them fall. Reaching forward, you turned on the TV, figuring a distraction would help keep all of your emotions at bay. That or it would drown out the sound of you crying once you finally broke, knowing it was only a matter of time before that actually became reality. You didn’t even bother to actually pay attention to what you had put on the screen, merely turning up the volume as you pulled your knees up to your chest, lowering your head so you could no longer see.

You weren’t sure where things had gone wrong. Really, nothing had. You and Jisung had been very happy from the beginning, and you had no issues up until you both actually decided to move in together. You thought that living together would have actually made it easier on the both of you, not having to manage your work/life load as much. Trying to date while living two hours away from each other and having jobs on top of that made things harder, but now that you two were actually living in the same apartment, it felt like you actually spent less time with each other. Odd how that worked.

In the moment, you were tempted to just grab your things and leave, overwhelmed with the amount of emotions you were feeling. Anger, sadness, betrayal, loneliness… it was all just piling on. It probably didn’t help that you never expressed how you were feeling, pretending everything was just fine when you knew it wasn’t. You were just never one to create a problem, opting to just suffer than make anyone else uncomfortable or feel bad. The sound of someone knocking on the door had forced any tears that were about to fall back into your tear ducts. You knew Jisung couldn’t hear with his headphones on, so you begrudgingly picked yourself off of the sofa, sulking over to the door and prying it open, looking out with a dead expression up until your eyes met ones you hadn’t seen in months.

“Chan?” You breathed, unable to believe he was actually standing in front of your apartment. When you had moved in with Jisung, you had moved to Incheon in order to not make it hard on him. This had caused you to leave your family and friends behind, including your friend since middle school, Bang Chan. He always had impeccable timing. Beaming, Chan held out a box that held a cake in it, a present in his other hand as he tilted his head sweetly, his curls falling just slightly. “Happy birthday Y/n! Surprised you didn’t I?” He chuckled slightly, watching as you took a step back, a hand over your mouth as you tried to contain yourself.

It seemed to be just enough to send you over the edge however, tears spilling from your eyes before you could stop them, a broken sob leaving your lips as Chan’s happy expression quickly changed to one of concern. “Oh God-'' He didn’t even ask to be let in despite having never visited yours and Jisung’s apartment before, stepping in, he shut the door with his foot. It took him only seconds to find a place to set down the cake and present he held, bending down slightly as he held your arms and tried to look you in the eyes, seemingly searching them for an answer. “Y/n what’s wrong?” He had known you for so long, there was no getting out of this one.

He knew that you never cried in front of anyone unless something was really wrong. That or you had been holding in your emotions for too long. This time it happened to be both. You weren’t able to blame it on being happy to see him, he’d be able to tell you were lying immediately. God why had he decided to visit you now of all times? Sniffling, you tried your best to stop crying, shakily wiping away your tears before Chan wiped the remainder away with his thumb, arching an eyebrow as he awaited an answer.

“I-I just… God…” You fumbled over your words, not exactly sure how to explain what was going through your head to Chan. Of course, it seemed he could sense this, taking your wrist and leading you over to the couch you had previously been curled up on, sitting you both down and smiling softly. “You can take your time Y/n. I’m not gonna rush you. Just tell me what’s going on and why you’re so upset.” He always had to be so understanding and kind. You just weren’t sure if he would be as understanding and kind to your boyfriend after you told him what was bothering you. He had always been overprotective and had even tried to talk you out of moving in with Jisung in the first place.

“O-Okay well, it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just Jisung and I haven’t been spending much time together lately. I’m just lonely and upset.” You mumbled, watching Chan’s jaw harden at the mention of Jisung, his eyes narrowing and growing dark as he tried to put the pieces together. There were things you weren’t telling him and he knew it. “Is he busy with work?” He questioned, your heart clenching. Chan really was just going to get to the root of the issue wasn’t he?

“He is sometimes…” You trailed off, nibbling on your bottom lip as you avoided Chan’s gaze. You hated it when he got angry. It was rare for him to do so, but when he did, he was terrifying. “What about other times?” His voice was cool and even, showing no signs of anger, but you knew better. You knew he was probably itching to get his hands on Jisung and in your mind you were wondering whether letting him in was a good idea.

“Well… when he gets back from work he usually sleeps or plays his games. When I get back from work he’s either at his job, sleeping or gaming. I mean, gaming is his form of stress relief so… I get it. It used to be mine so I can’t really be upset with him for that. I can’t be mad at him for sleeping or going to work either. It’s not that big of a deal.” You were making excuses for him and you knew it. But you didn’t want Chan to lose his cool. The thought was more scary than spending your birthday alone. “So he’s choosing video games over you.” Chan stated bluntly, anger creeping into his voice.

Slowly, you decided to look at him, only to see he wasn’t even looking at you now, but rather around the apartment, one of his fists clenched as he tapped his foot against the hardwood floor. You didn’t respond to his statement, so it was only a few moments before he looked you in the eyes, giving you a look that told you to correct him if he was wrong. You searched your mind for something, anything, but you came up with nothing, gulping as you slowly lowered your head, sighing shakily. “I-I guess.” You whispered, feeling your body grow cold as you admitted it to yourself aloud. Chan cleared his throat, nodding as he looked around the apartment once again. “Is he at work right now?” The silence that filled the apartment was his only indication of that, but when you looked around, unsure, he could tell that he was wrong in his assumption.

“He’s here right now isn’t he?” He scoffed, the anger he had been holding back making a swift appearance as he got to his feet. Eyes widening, you quickly grabbed onto your friend's arm, knowing he could easily overpower you and do what he wanted, but he wouldn’t. He may know you like the back of his hand, but you knew him just as well. “Chan please. Don’t make this a big thing. I’m already upset and things getting out of hand is only going to make it worse.”

“Y/n-” Chan started, looking back at you, anger fading as he looked into your eyes, knowing that ultimately he was going to do whatever it was you asked of him. “Can I just talk to him? You and I both know that you don’t deserve to be treated like this.” He bargained, only causing you to shake your head in disagreement. “You know for a fact that you won’t be able to hold yourself back if you ‘just talk to him’.” You gave him a knowing look and he simply huffed, averting his gaze. He knew you were right.

“You brought cake right? How about we just have that and hang out? That’d make me feel better.” Chan’s tension had eased slightly at your request, taking a deep breath as he nodded, deciding he was simply going to appease you since it was your birthday after all. Getting off of the couch, Chan grabbed the cake and present he had set down in a hurry, going into the kitchen and setting it down once again. You followed shortly after him, looking over as he opened the box, a soft smile gracing your lips. He had remembered your favorite color. “It’s very pretty.” You praised. Chan clicked his tongue as he opened a pack of candles, starting to place them on the top of the cake. “Of course it is, I picked it out.” He teased, causing you to roll your eyes and smack his arm. “God you’re annoying.”

Snickering he shrugged his shoulders, pulling a lighter out of his pocket and carefully lighting the candles. “Yet you still miss me. Crazy how that works.” Looks like you two were right back to how you had always been. He wasn’t wrong though, you had really missed him. Being pulled away from everything you knew just for Jisung had been hard, but it had been something you were willing to do for your relationship. One you weren’t even sure was there anymore. Pulling you from your thoughts, Chan started singing. His voice had always been amazing. After he had finished, you blew out the candles, Chan grinning and ruffling your hair before pulling out the candles and starting to search the kitchen for something to cut the cake with. “So, what did you wish for?”

He always asked that question. Every single birthday of yours without fail. You always responded with the same thing. “You know I can’t tell you that. If I tell you it won’t come true.” Laughing, Chan shook his head, amazed that you still stuck by that. “You actually think that matters?” He questioned, earning a nod from you as you opened the drawer that held your kitchen utensils, pulling out a knife and handing it to Chan who thanked you before getting to work on cutting the cake. “Have any of your wishes come true that you haven’t told anyone about?” He pondered, the question making you think back on your previous birthday wishes.

“Mmm, there have been a few actually.” Chan gave you a questioning look, pausing as he did so. “Like what? Since they’ve already happened you should be able to tell me right?” You considered it before figuring that he was probably right, pulling out two plates and forks before sitting yourself down on one of the barstools that were placed along the island in the kitchen. “For my sixteenth birthday I wished for a skateboard and I ended up getting it that day.” You stated, Chan smirking as he continued to cut the cake, shaking his head.

“Maybe because you had been bugging your parents for it for a whole year. Only to never use it despite me telling you I’d teach you how to ride it.” He added in the last part just to chastise you, placing a piece of cake on a plate before handing it to you along with a fork. “I highly doubt that had anything to do with your wish.” You rolled your eyes as you took a bite of cake, humming quietly. He had remembered your favorite flavor of cake too. Of course he had.

“You don’t have to hate on me for believing in birthday wishes just because you don’t Chan. I get it, you’re too grown up to believe in something silly and childish like birthday wishes.” You could tell he got slightly irked by your words, scoffing as he got himself a piece of cake. “That’s not even it-”

“Then what is it?” You cut him off before he could finish, tilting your head slightly as you stared at him. Chan slowly took a bite of cake, looking you in the eyes, considering his next words carefully. “None of my birthday wishes ever came true. So I stopped believing in things like that. I think it’s endearing that you still do though.” He admitted, causing you to frown. “None of them? Not one?” You questioned, Chan seeming to think back on it as he stood there in silence, looking down at the cake. “Mm, I guess there was one that came true?” He sounded unsure, but you leaned forward in your seat, smiling as you waited for him to elaborate.

“I think it was my eighth birthday? The memory is kind of foggy, but I remember wishing for another sibling. It’s kind of dumb now that I think about it, but it did come true.” He shrugged, looking back up at you as you giggled while taking another bite of cake. “I’d say that’s a pretty big wish. The stars probably just figured that wish was enough for a while.” Chan rolled his eyes, snickering as he shook his head. “Yeah sure, whatever you say Y/n.”

The two of you enjoyed each other’s presence for a while, seeming to forget about the issue at hand which was exactly what you had been wanting. Not wanting to confront it or make a big deal out of anything. Chan was helping you ignore your problems and you were more than grateful, the male stating that he wanted to watch you open the present he had got you, so you both moved from the kitchen to the living room, the TV still playing whatever it was you had put on. Gingerly, Chan set the present on your lap, waiting patiently for you to open it.

You had always gotten nervous when it came to opening gifts. You were never a fan of surprises and presents were just wrapped surprises. Slowly, you pulled the tissue paper out of the bag, peeking inside. Your eyes widened once you realized what it was he had gotten you, gasping as you practically ripped it out of the bag, looking it over with wide eyes. “Oh my god- This is so expensive Chan. You really shouldn’t have.” You pried your eyes from the present to meet his gaze, seeing just how happy he was with your reaction to the gift. “I knew you’d like it. I’m sure you’ve been eyeing it for a while now. You always do that with the new lines.” He stated, making you nod in agreement.

“I actually had this in my cart for when I could afford it. It still scares me how well you know me. I never even told you about the new line.” Chan simply shrugged, acting as if it was no big deal. “What can I say, I’m just that good.” He chuckled, already leaning back as you reached forward to smack him.

For a few hours the two of you just sat and talked, not even realizing just how late it was getting. The two of you were making up for lost time, only able to talk over the phone or text, sometimes video call depending on just how busy the two of you were. Life as a producer was busy, that was also part of the reason you were so surprised he had shown up at your front door. It was the last thing you had been expecting. Just like you hadn’t been expecting Jisung to leave your bedroom. It seemed he and Chan had noticed each other’s presence before you had even noticed Jisung, standing silently in the hallway as he looked between the two of you. You immediately turned your gaze to Chan, seeing the look that was on his face before had returned. That wasn’t good.

“Who is that-?” Jisung finally spoke, looking at you with confusion and slight fear. It was then you remembered that Jisung and Chan had never officially met, your eyes widening as you motioned over to your childhood friend. “Chan. Bang Chan. I’ve told you about him, remember? My best friend since middle school.” You explained, Jisung’s expression growing more relaxed as he slowly nodded, remembering discussing him before. “Ah, yeah. We’ve never met before.” Jisung smiled, making his way over to the couch and holding out his hand.

Chan stared at it for a moment before deciding not to be a total ass. He took his hand and shook it, gripping it tightly before paying Jisung a sickeningly sweet smile. “No we haven’t. I’m sorry for not telling you before coming over but I thought I’d surprise Y/n for her birthday.” There it was. You had been expecting him to say something, but you hadn’t been expecting him to say it right out of the gate like that. Confusion was written on Jisung’s face for a moment before his eyes widened in realization, his gaze quickly flitting to yours. “O-Oh…” It seemed he finally understood the tension coming from Chan.

Slowly you lowered your gaze, fiddling with the present Chan had gotten you. Jisung took a moment to look at it before looking to the kitchen, seeing the cake sitting on the counter. “Y/n… I’m… I-I didn’t realize…” He stammered, unsure of what to say or do. After all, there wasn’t much he could do now. “It’s fine.” You mumbled out, forcing a smile as you looked up at him, hating to see just how upset and guilty he looked. Chan on the other hand, wasn’t having it.

“Look, I know it’s our first time meeting and Y/n told me not to make a scene, so I won’t. However, it’s not fine. You should know Y/n well enough to know that she doesn’t like to voice what’s upsetting her. You may be busy with work, or stressed, or whatever, but you ignoring her for your video games is something that shouldn’t be happening. Forgetting her birthday? Don’t you think that’s a little much? Do you see the problem? Y/n shouldn’t have to beg you for attention. You should be paying attention to your girlfriend regardless of what your work life is like and if you can’t handle that, you shouldn’t be stringing her along. She doesn’t deserve that and you know it.” His words were harsh and to the point, but he got across what he wanted to. Jisung gulped, biting on his lower lip as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“You’re right.” Jisung mumbled, hanging his head. “I’ve gotten so absorbed in gaming because of stress from work, but that’s not an excuse. I should have been paying more attention to Y/n, so much more attention. I-I honestly can’t believe I forgot her birthday. I didn’t even realize just how bad I was getting… I just…” He sighed, stopping himself as he turned from Chan to look at you, taking a few steps closer before bending down slightly to look you in the eyes. “I’m so sorry Y/n. Really I am. I don’t have any excuses. How I’ve been treating you is wrong and I realize that. I promise I’ll change.” He spoke softly, searching your eyes as he apologized.

You could tell he was being genuine, seeing tears pricking at his eyes as he spoke to you. “You’d better or I’ll come right back here and take her home with me.” Chan muttered, causing you to roll your eyes at him. “Chan-” You chided, earning a sigh from him as he stood up, placing his hands in the air as a sign of defeat as he made his way into the kitchen. “Sorry, I’ll give you guys a minute.” It was clear he didn’t want to, but he would do it for you.

Sighing quietly once Chan had left the room, you looked to Jisung and patted the part of the couch Chan had just been sitting on, waiting for Jisung to take his place before sitting crisscrossed and facing him. “Ji… I’m not gonna lie and say I’m not upset. I am. I’m really upset. I had honestly thought that you would pull through and remember my birthday but you didn’t. It honestly felt like a stab to the heart. However, I’m also not going to say you’re completely at fault since I haven’t been honest and voiced how I was feeling to you. Keeping quiet and just letting things get worse was my own doing and I’m sorry I didn’t communicate with you.” You mumbled, Jisung furrowing his eyebrows and shaking his head as he reached forward, taking hold of both of your hands. “Hey, no. You’re not taking the blame for this. You shouldn’t be apologizing to me when you haven’t done anything wrong. You never once forgot anything important to me and I forgot your birthday. That’s huge and I’m gonna be apologizing for it forever. I should have realized what I was doing to you. That was my fault not yours, okay?”

You frowned, getting ready to disagree. “I’m not budging on this one. You have no reason to be apologizing to me. You know I’m right.” You didn’t, but you weren’t going to argue with him. Once Jisung saw you were done trying to blame yourself, he sighed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your forehead, the memory of the day you had first met in person coming back to you. “I’m really really sorry and I’m gonna make it up to you somehow, I promise.” You hummed, closing your eyes as Jisung pulled you into his chest. This was more contact than you had with him over the past few months.

“You’re making a lot of promises tonight Han Jisung.” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around him and looking up as he nodded in agreement. “I know, but I plan to keep them. I’m going to change and I’m going to make it up to you.” Smiling faintly, you hummed again, not wanting to say anything else as you rested against your boyfriend's chest, closing your eyes as you allowed yourself to relish in his presence. You hadn’t fully forgiven him, you were sure he knew that as well, but you were just glad the biggest thing was out of the way and you wouldn’t have to tiptoe around the issue anymore. The rest of it would be him regaining your trust and fulfilling his promises. “Happy birthday baby.” A quiet mumble left Jisung’s lips as he kissed the top of your head, earning a smile from you.

“Technically her birthday has already passed. It’s nearly two in the morning.” Chan suddenly cut in, causing both you and Jisung to turn and look at him, you with a glare and Jisung with a questioning gaze. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I see you two have made up for the most part so uh, seeing as I traveled two hours to get here, you both mind if I crash on the couch?” You opened your mouth to speak, but Jisung beat you to it. “Sure, it actually pulls out into a bed since my old roommate comes over sometimes and crashes. I can set it up for you.” His sudden agreement surprised you, but you decided not to question it, Chan nodding as he motioned towards the door.

“Cool. My stuff’s in my car so I’ll be back.” He then left without another word, Jisung watching him go before looking back at you. “Am I sleeping on the floor then?” He questioned, causing you to roll your eyes. “Ji, when have I ever made you sleep on the couch or anything like that?”

He smiled faintly, shrugging his shoulders as he lifted himself off the couch before helping you up. “Well technically the first day we met.” Shaking your head you went to the kitchen, putting the cake and everything else away as Jisung moved things around in the living room before pulling the couch out into a bed. “You were the one that didn’t let me sleep on the couch. I was going to, but you forced me to sleep on your bed.” As Jisung was fixing the pillows, Chan walked back into the apartment, this time locking the door behind him. He set his things down by the couch, giving Jisung a sideways look when their eyes met. “What-?” Jisung trailed off, looking down at the bed before looking back up at Chan.

“Blankets?” Jisung’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh yeah right, sorry.” He swiftly turned and walked down the hall towards the small closet that held clean blankets and pillows they kept aside. From the kitchen, you gave Chan a look that told him to knock it off, the male deciding to act like he had no idea what you were looking at him like that for. Jisung returned with blankets in hand, setting them down on the bed. “There, is this enough?” He questioned, Chan looking them over for a moment before simply nodding. “Yeah, that’s fine.” No thank you, no ounce of appreciation in his voice.

Jisung cleared his throat, nodding slowly before turning around and making his way into the kitchen where you were cleaning up and telling you that he’d do it. It took a bit of convincing, but eventually he had kicked you out of the kitchen, finishing up by himself. You huffed as you went over to Chan who was fixing his bed for the night. “You know you don’t have to be such an ass to him. He apologized.” You mumbled, keeping your voice quiet so Jisung didn’t hear. Chan sighed, straightening out the blankets before grabbing his bag and setting it on the bed, looking through his things. “I’m still pissed at him. He’s lucky I didn’t beat him into the ground. The only reason I didn’t is because you told me not to.”

“And I appreciate that, but he is still my boyfriend and I would like for you two to get along. I don’t want to have to play mediator any time you two are around each other.” There was silence for a moment before Chan sighed, nodding in agreement. “Fine. I’ll tone it down.” Smiling, you gave him a small hug, “Thank you.” You peeped, him only groaning in acknowledgement.

“Where’s your bathroom so I can change?” You showed him to the bathroom before starting back down the hall towards the kitchen, only to meet Jisung halfway, him holding your gift from Chan in his arm, folded nicely. He lifted it, smiling sheepishly. “He’s really good with gifts huh? I know you’ve been eyeing this thing since the new line came out.” You were genuinely surprised he had known that since he had been so preoccupied the last few months. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he seemed to notice. “You leave your tabs open a lot on your laptop. When I wake up for work you usually leave it out, so I noticed that you were looking at it fairly often.” He explained, your eyes widening slightly. “Oh… I didn’t even realize.” You half-whispered, Jisung chuckling quietly.

“I’ll go put this up.” He smiled before brushing past you and into your room. Chan left the bathroom only moments after, changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants much like Jisung had been wearing as long as you’d been awake. “You should sleep. It’s late.” He spoke, causing you to nod before watching him make his way down the hall towards the living room. “Are you going to sleep?” You asked, knowing that he had issues sleeping, always had.

“I’m gonna try, but don’t let me keep you up. I’ll be fine out here, I’m a grown man you know.” He teased, earning a quiet laugh from you. “Okay, well thank you for everything tonight Chan. I really appreciate it.” Turning, he smiled, his signature dimple smile. “No need to thank me. I just expect you to travel two hours for my birthday now. I’ve set the bar high.”

Your playful banter went on for a while longer before you both said goodnight and you retired to your shared room with Jisung. Stepping inside you shut the door behind you, immediately noticing Jisung busy unplugging all of his gaming stuff. Your eyes widened, “Ji- This isn’t… I didn’t mean you had to-” You couldn’t even form words, Jisung turning to look back at you. “I know. I just think it would be best for me to stop completely for now. Get things back in order before I even think about introducing this back into my life. It got way out of hand and I don’t want that to happen again. So I’m prioritizing.”

“B-But that’s… don’t you think it’s too much?” Your voice was quiet, unsure as Jisung shook his head, unplugging one final cord and picking himself up off of the floor, dusting himself off. “No. Considering I’ve put you on the side burner for months now, I think it’s more than enough. Gaming will always be there, but I don’t want to lose you because of it.” Shifting uncomfortably, you picked at your fingers, unsure about the whole thing. Jisung walked over, pulling you into his arms and resting his head on top of yours. “I’m sure about this okay? So don’t worry about it.”

“Okay…” You trailed off, deciding that if it was Jisung’s decision, you didn’t have any reason to argue with him. “Okay. Well, how about we go to sleep, and since you’re off tomorrow, I can take tomorrow off, probably call in sick-- and we can go do something, just me and you? There’s a fashion show downtown I believe. You can wear your new present from Chan and you’ll be the best dressed person, along with the best looking. Then we can go out to eat, or before. Whatever you wanna do baby.” Smiling you relaxed in his grasp, “That sounds great Ji.”

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thera-daydreams · 3 years

Text

KABILANG BUHAY

× A TRESE ONESHOT ×

[Crispin x Ghost!Reader]

📝 Summary: Your demigod husband remembers you—everything about you—and how much he absolutely loved you. He remembers everything, including the memory that hurt the most.

📌 Warning: Contains fluff, angst, character death, and mentions of violence (because an angry Crispin being the son of a wargod is bound to shed some blood somewhere). Masakit po talaga 'tong songfic na 'to, trust me. If you don't want to get hurt, scroll awaaaay. Pero if you want maximum 1000% ultra heavy pain, then listen to the song below on repeat while reading, too.

Song: Kabilang Buhay by Bandang Lapis

(word count: 5,642)

"Masasayang mga araw na kasama kita."

Warm. Crispin always remembered you to be so warm—every single part of you. The heat of your skin against his whenever he held you, that whimsical sparkle in your eyes whenever you saw the little joys in life, that sprightly curve of your lips whenever you two teased each other, and the radiance he saw from you whenever you were around the people you loved.

In his eyes, there was always a halo around your head or a beam of light following you around. Perhaps he was biased; perhaps he saw you through rose-tinted glasses, but it didn't matter to him. To the demigod, you were everything he ever wanted.

You were the one.

You were also one of the sweetest people he'd ever met. Every morning without a fail, there would always be a hot cup of kape and a plate of pandesal on the table—not only for him, but for everyone else in your little family, too. Alexandra, Hank, and of course, his younger brother Basilio. Even before you became his girlfriend, you'd treated them as your own loved ones.

That was the day he knew you were truly the one for him. The one who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The one he wanted to build a home with. The woman he wanted to marry and have children with, if you were okay with it (when that conversation came, you said you would be happy and honored to be his wife).

Crispin said it was the other way around. It was he who was fortunate and honored to be your husband. You'd laughed in response, kissing his cheek. There were no fancy rings or a formal, elaborate proposal involved, but that day—he remembered clearly that you had that conversation on a chilly December 1st, 9:24PM, right before you two went to bed—was an unspoken promise.

You two would be inseparable and together 'til death do you part.

Going back to that coffee and bread, he always wondered how you managed to keep it so fresh (you said it was a secret, but later on you spilled the beans to him after him pestering you). Even if he woke up at noon because of missions with his bossing and his brother, palaging mainit ang kape at pandesal. You must have had some sort of superpower you weren't telling him (you rolled your eyes, telling him that superpower came in the form of a microwave).

"Paglalambing at kulit mo na hindi nakakasawa."

He was by no means clingy or touch-starved, but whenever he was around you, he had the need to at least hold you in any way. Sometimes, it was the usual PDA (Basilio and Maliksi teased him about it, but he didn't care if it meant having some sort of contact with you; Alexandra just let it be because she knew how much you two loved each other). In public, you guys toned it down—settling with holding hands or you just linking your arm through his. If he was driving the car, his hand would either be innocently resting on your thigh or your hand which was on your lap. If you were the one driving the car, then it would be your hand on his thigh or his hand. He loved to draw circles on your skin whenever he was daydreaming or starting to doze off, too.

You as a couple often expressed your love for each other in different ways, and not just by saying it out loud. One thing Crispin adored the most about your relationship was the way you voicelessly said "I love you". If it wasn't clear enough that acts of service was one of your love languages, then he could understand that you loved him back through three taps.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

At first, he had no clue what it meant. You just kept doing it whenever you were near him, on whatever body part you could touch. If he was driving? Tap, tap, tap on his thigh. If he was the one cooking? You'd hug him from behind and then one of your fingers would go tap, tap, tap on his waist. If you were eating together? You'd take his palm then just... tap, tap, tap while chewing on whatever food it was you had in your mouth.

He recalled that afternoon you guys were eating at a simple Japanese place. While you slurped up some of the wheat noodles and the savory soup, you were excitedly doing a little happy dance as you ate—the one you did whenever you ate something you found yummy. Frankly, Crispin found it endearing. He, too, was guzzling down some of the ramen when you reached out for his hand then laid it on the table palm up.

With a mischievous smile and your puffed up cheeks looking like a chipmunk from the noodles you'd gobbled up, you gently tapped his palm with your index finger, that same glint in your eye whenever you did that gesture.

"... Anong ginagawa mo, mahal?" Crispin chuckled, a brow raised. He found it cute but he had no idea what it was supposed to stand for.

"Wala lang," you mysteriously answered in a muffled voice, swallowing.

"You know, you shouldn't talk when your mouth is full," he pointed out, amused. You snorted, gulping.

"Not my fault you asked a question, Crispin," you retorted, shoving in another bite of noodley goodness with your chopsticks. You did a mini-wiggle when the umami flavor exploded on your tongue (the ramen was bussin', bestie). Ratatouille would be impressed!

"But seriously, what does the tap stand for?" your boyfriend wondered. You did it again. Tap, tap, tap.

"Isn't it obvious?" you smiled. He then sweat-dropped.

"Wait, keep smiling," Crispin leaned over the table, removing a tiny bit of the dahon sibuyas stuck on one of your front teeth with his nail. He then popped that finger into his mouth, making you blink at the action.

"Ay, may naiwan pala. Hehehehehe." With how long you two have been dating, you were no longer embarrassed if you did get anything stuck in your teeth and he had to get it out (it's happened in more occasions than you could count). You did the same to him (and trust me, you were way past the stage of getting grossed out from the gross habits couples did). At least you two were a hundred percent comfortable and open to one another, right? Sanaol.

Crispin nodded, going back to eating his noodles, "Okay, back to the topic. What does this—" He tapped your palm the same way you did. "—even mean?"

Your grin just grew wider then you whispered into his ear, "I love you."

"... I love you, too," he answered automatically, still not understanding. "But what do the taps mean? You keep doing it and—"

You did it again on his hand.

"I." Tap.

"Love." Tap.

"You." Tap.

At long last, that look of realization came upon his features, "... Aaaaaaaaah."

You chuckled, all brightness and merriness from your revelation to the man you loved. "Gets mo na, mahal?"

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Oo, mahal. Hehe."

"... Can we order another bowl of ramen? Please?" With those puppy-dog eyes? Crispin could never resist. He'd rip the world apart for you and build it back up from scratch if you wanted him to.

That was how deep his love was for you. Kapag nagmamahal ang isang diyos, walang imposible... 'di ba?

He was already raising a hand to call for a waiter, "Sure. Basta maubos mo."

"... And if half lang maubos ko?"

He sighed, "... Edi ako kakain sa anong maiiwan." What was the saying whenever you found your soulmate? Oh, yes.

True love is getting fat together.

Maybe it was true for both of you.

When you two exited the ramen place, you patted your bloated tummy. "Haaaay, busog na busog si food baby," you sighed in happiness, adjusting the the top of your high-waisted skirt to loosen it up for more space. You elbowed him slightly, wiggling your eyebrows at him and mimicking Kylie Jenner, "Soooo, I'm thirty-four weeks today."

"'Luh, ang drama mo," Crispin snickered, poking your rounded side playfully and making you pout. "Nagdadalang tao ka pala, ha. Ako ang tatay pero hindi mo sinabi sa akin na buntis ka." He wouldn't lie, but thoughts of you being pregnant with a child warmed his entire being. Mini-yous and mini-hims running around.

What a dream.

"Nagdadalang tae lang po, manong," you stuck your tongue out at him, then stopped. He stopped walking, too, looking at you questioningly.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Mahal?" you paused. Gulugulugulugulu. Oh no. Mayday, mayday!

"Did you forget something at the restaurant?" he asked. You shook your head in response, telling him there was an emergency.

"... Mahal, natatae ako."

"Like, now?" You nodded at him with wide, doe-like irises. His eyes crinkled, finding the situation hilarious. "Really? Oh shit. Literally. Is this because we were talking about poop?"

Crispin could only cackle as you rummaged through your bag for some wet wipes (and the situation led to you two running around the mall like psychos looking for the nearest restroom—grabe ang cold sweat mo, sis; it was that type of pooping session).

As he waited outside the women's comfort room, he found himself smiling like a weirdo from your date today. Nagdadalang tae o nagdadalang tao, he wouldn't love you any other way.

"Punong-puno ng ligaya ang ating pagsasama."

He found himself unconsciously doing the tapping to you, as well. Tap. Tap. Tap. He only now realized how many times you've been saying "I love you" everyday. Usually, you'd only verbally say it out loud three times: in the morning waking up, whenever he left for a mission, or the times you went to sleep together (because of the nature of his work, it was uncommon, but if he was at home during the night, he'd make sure to say it to you). But now that he knew what the taps meant, he counted them for one week from Monday to Sunday.

You were sitting on the couch, on your stomach and sprawled vertically over his lap. He was watching a basketball game on television while you were on your phone, scrolling through Facebook. It was all quiet until he tapped his finger thrice on your calf. You beamed, rolling over to face him then gently tapping his cheek three times—not with your fingers, but with your hands, smooshing his cheeks then pecking his lips.

"Fwifee-hweif," he said. You tilted your head at him, letting go of his cheeks.

"What was that?" you curiously inquired.

"Fifty-eight," Crispin gave you his signature flirty grin. "You tapped me one hundred seventy-four times today. And one hundred seventy-four divided by three—because I love you has three syllables—is equal to fifty-eight." His affectionate gaze to you softened. "Mahal, you've told me I love you fifty-eight times today."

You just hugged him and hid your face in his neck, "I love you, too, manooooong."

"... Wanna watch a K-drama tonight?" he said, his voice rumbling through his chest as you laid your head on it.

"Mmhmm."

You guys ended up binging Scarlet Heart Ryeo and bawling your eyes out (Crispin cried louder than you, actually, and the box of tissues was passed back n' forth between you two).

"Punyeta, walang Season Two?" Crispin cursed, blowing his nose.

You hiccupped, shaking your head and scrolling through the categories, "W-Wala e-eh, m-mahal."

"Seryoso ka ba?" he gaped, wiping his tears after wiping yours. "That's how it ends?"

You nodded, sniffling, "Uh-huh."

The next morning, when all of you gathered in the kitchen for breakfast, Alexandra and the others could only stare, nagtataka kung bakit namamaga ang mga mata niyo (yeah, they were swollen as hell).

"... Anyare sa inyo?" Alexandra quizzed. Hank, while pouring everyone some juice, had a worried look on his face, too.

"Nag-away ba kayong dalawa, Kuya?" Basilio questioned. You both shook your head simultaneously.

"Hindi," Crispin shortly answered, exhausted from crying with you all night.

"Nanood lang kami ng K-drama," you supplied, as worn out as your boyfriend was.

"Aaaaaaah."

"Na parang wala nang sisira ng lahat."

The date always held some significance to him, not only because it meant only a few days before Christmas but also because it was the day you promised to one another that you'd be endgame.

December 1st.

It would repeat in his head over and over again until the day he died.

The two of you were lying in bed, the cold night air entering through the open windows. You were leaning on his chest in-between his lap, reading The Count of Monte Cristo. He noticed that your expression often shifted between being giddy to being angry or smug at what was happening to the main character.

"... Mahal?"

"Yeah?" you responded, not taking your eyes off the novel. You flipped another page.

"What kind of ring do you want? Para alam ko kung magkano ang iiponin ko?" he quietly asked, his thumb caressing your temple. Normally, men wanted this to be a surprise or didn't talk about this but he only wanted you to have something you'd cherish for the rest of your life. You tilted your head back to look up at him. "Do you want those with the big gems or the smaller and simpler ones?"

You gazed back at your novel, then sat up and closed it, turning to look at him. "Crispin." You took his hands in your own (he tapped it thrice, making a teeny smile creep up your lips). "Hindi ko kailangan ng singsing."

His eyes grew wide, "... Are you sure? You don't want to be formally married?"

You frantically shook your head, "Nooooooo, noooo! That's not what I meant, dummy. I just wanted to tell you that I don't need an expensive ring to be yours." You kissed him. "And to be your wife."

"Pero—"

"Mahal, if we ever do have kids, mahal ang gatas, diaper, at tuition," you childishly told him. "Kung magpapakasal tayo, I don't need a huge proposal or a big wedding. Let's put the funds away for a house and for the future, 'mkay?"

"... But you won't have a ring," he sulked.

Getting an idea, you hopped off the bed and open your cabinet, finding a piece of durable string on one of your shirts. With a strong tug, it came off. You walked back towards your boyfriend, flopping back down then looping it on your left ring finger. You held your hand up to him, "There. I have a ring now, see?"

Crispin had never ever loved anyone as much as he did right now. There was a nagging feeling at the back of his head, though. "... I feel like I've seen this in a movie before, mahal."

"Duuuuh. I got the idea from the Count of Monte Cristo. Mercedes promises herself to Dantes with a string ring! Sorry nalang if copyright infringement ang ginawa ko, hihi." You showed him the book you were reading, the smile not disappearing from your face. Feeling ecstatic, he kissed you passionately right on the spot.

"Ipapangako mo sa akin na magsasama tayo nang walang hanggan?" Crispin whispered against your lips. "Magpakailanman?"

You kissed him, rolling your eyes, "Oo na, Crispin. Corny mo talaga, manong. Such a hopeless romantic, like me!" Another kiss. "I'll stay with you forever and ever and eveeeeeer and grow old with you. We'll get that rest house in the mountains, travel the world together, win the lotto, and do anything we want!" you declared determinedly.

"Promise? Talaga?"

You grinned, wriggling your little finger, "Pinky promise."

He linked his pinky with yours, "Okay. Pinky promise, wifey."

"Okaaaaay, hubby," you quipped, settling down and snuggling into him.

9:24PM, he saw the digital clock display before he pulled the covers over you both, keeping you warm and safe in his arms.

"Bakit pa dumating ang oras na ito?"

"Mahaaaaal, pauwi na ako. Huwag kang mag-alala," you quietly told Crispin over the phone. He was on another investigation, but while their bossing was speaking to Captain Guerrero and Lieutenant Tapia about the case, he used the spare time he had to check up on you.

You had been buying groceries, but knowing you, Crispin had a feeling you had gone to do some other errands.

"Pauwi ka na? Meaning, you're driving home?" He sighed, "And why are you whispering?"

"... Ehehehe," you nervously giggled.

"Anong ehehehehe?" the demigod asked you, suspicious. "Mahal, saan ka na ba talaga?"

"Nasa banko pa ako. Oopsies," you admitted shamelessly. "But I just finished paying the bills. I'm actually walking away from the counter now and—"

You suddenly stopped talking. For a second, the son of the wargod thought that the signal had gone bad.

"Mahal?"

Your voice had gone distant, but it seemed like it was talking to someone else. He strained to hear what you were saying.

"Hey, hey... shhhh, little one, huwag kang umiyak," he heard you say. Your voice seemed so far away. You seemed like you were trying to shush a person. A kid.

"I want my mom!" a child wailed.

"... Langga, come here. At huwag kang masyadong maingay." If it weren't for his heritage as a god, he would have barely been able to hear what you said.

Were you comforting a kid? Awww. He was about to just end the call then text you instead when another much louder and crueler voice could be heard over the phone. No, there wasn't only one voice. There were more.

"Mamatay kayong lahat! Balang araw, hindi na mga tao ang mamumuno sa mundong ito!"

Then there was a sound that was unmistakably a gunshot.

"Nabalitaan ko na wala ka na."

Bang!

His blood went cold. Almost every day he handled firearms in his line of work, so of course he knew what it sounded like. The shrieks and terrified shouts came after the gunshots.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The last thing he heard were more gunshots, then the call ending.

He had never sprinted to Alexandra so fast before, frantically begging her to let him use the Dragon's Gate to teleport to wherever you were, even if it made him physically sick and nauseous.

Crispin didn't give a damn what happened to him, as long as nothing happened to you.

"Hindi ba't sabi mo hindi mo ko iiwan?"

It all happened so fast. One moment he was silently praying to Bathala for your safety while looking for you in the chaos. The next? He was scouring through the overwhelmed emergency room of the nearest hospital, where it was flooded with victims from the mall shooting.

It was a mess, with bleeding patients on the floor as nurses tried to assist. Others were seated on monobloc chairs that had been quickly put on the corridors. There was an overwhelming number of patients taken to the hospital either through ambulances or police cars themselves. It already began to stink of death, and Crispin hated it. His bloodlust as a wargod was creeping up his veins from the stench and his inner fury, but he held it in. He needed to find you first.

Behind him, Alexandra and Basilio were searching for you, too. When he told them what happened, they didn't hesitate to help and be transported to the mall as quick as possible. Captain Guerrero had already dispatched units after hearing what occurred (there was also an alarm that had blared in the station—a bank employee must have pressed an emergency button or something).

Surprisingly, in the midst of the havoc happening inside the hospital, he found himself walking towards the Trauma Bay of the hospital like a magnet. He had no idea where he was going, but he just kept going, and he stopped by a less crowded hallway. If he just went straight forward, he would be entering an operating room.

"Excuse me, coming through! Make some way!" It was a doctor who yelled from behind him. He turned around.

"Hindi papabayaan na ako'y mag-isa."

And as if time went by slower, he found you on a stretcher, being wheeled through the corridor as a nurse was on the bed with you, performing CPR. He saw the amount of blood gushing out of the bullet wounds on your body; one on your back, another on your stomach, and a third on your thigh.

Crispin couldn't help but run after them, asking one of the health professionals what was happening to you, "Nurse! Nurse, is she going to be okay!?"

"Are you her family?" they quickly interrogated. Alexandra and Basilio rounded the corner right as the nurse asked him that. Both held their breaths when they saw the tormenting state you were in, unconscious and on the brink of death.

The eldest demigod frenziedly nodded, "Yes, yes! I'm family!" He glanced at your bleeding form, and his heart clenched seeing the string ring on your finger, a bit of blood splattered over it. "I'm... I'm her husband! Asawa ko siya!"

You weren't formally or legally married yet, but to his eyes (and many of the others who knew you both), you were practically husband and wife.

"Good," the nurse said as they rushed you into the O.R., stopping Crispin from entering any further. "Sir, we need you to tell us your wife's name and her health details, please. She has to be operated on as soon as possible. We need her age, blood type, her comorbidities or allergies, if any..."

Crispin knew them all. He'd memorized them. And he told the nurses everything they needed for the operation. As long as it saved you, he'd say anything. Do anything.

"Hindi ba't sabi mo sabay tayong tatanda?"

It was a grueling operation, he could tell. Crispin had been pacing continuously in the waiting room, not even daring to sit from how anxious he was about you. Hank had come instantly to the hospital after hearing, and now there were three seated and extremely worried people watching him panic outside the operating room.

"God, please let her be okay," he continued to mumble to himself, fiddling with his fingers. "Please, please, please..."

"Kuya, umupo ka muna," Basilio tried to convince his brother.

"Oo nga," Hank frowned.

"You've been standing for five hours," Alexandra gave him a saddened look. "You should rest."

The older demigod shook his head, "I can't, bossing. Hindi pwede. Not until I know that she's okay."

As if on cue, the head surgeon came out of the operating room. Crispin nearly jolted and would have grabbed the man's collar had it not been for Alex and his brother holding him back, calming him down. No one could tell what he was about to say until he removed his surgical mask.

The four occupants waited for his response, antsy. The tension in the room was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

"Doc? Is she okay? Is she gonna be alright?" Crispin asked, troubled out of his mind. Alex's grip on his arm tightened, and so did Basilio's hold on his shoulder. "Doc, please say somethi—"

"... I'm sorry," the surgeon shook his head, a somber look on his face.

It was like the universe stopped for the demigod. The two people holding him were the only ones to support him when his knees buckled.

"We did everything we could. She lost too much blood, and the bullets hit too many vital organs," the doctor explained forlornly. "We performed CPR and a cardiac massage on her for thirty minutes, but she did not make it through the rest of the operation."

The words just echoed emptily through Crispin's ears.

"Bakit bigla ka na lang nandiyan sa kabilang buhay?"

When he entered the morgue alone, he didn't know why but he was expecting you to be sitting up and smiling, almost hearing your teasing voice telling him it was all a cruel prank. At first, that was what he saw. He saw the love of his life, soft skin flushed and curled up lips filled with so much love directed at him. He saw you radiant—glowing; that familiar twinkle in your magnificent eyes. He reached out to hold your left hand, awaiting its warmth.

Awaiting the three taps.

The taps that would tell him "I love you" and "I'm okay".

Crispin even waited a minute. Maybe you were still there, hanging on. Maybe... just maybe... you were fighting.

"Mahal?" he croaked out, squeezing your hand.

"Paano na ang lahat? Paano na ako, tayo?"

Those three taps never came. One minute. Five minutes. Ten minutes.

Only then did he really see you. The illusion all came crashing down.

Now your skin was so cold. So lifeless. So... opposite from what you were when you were alive. You were pale. Your lips were tinted blue. You were so still. So deathly still. Not one movement.

It freaked him out.

He couldn't believe it was you on that metal table—it didn't look like you. Where was the halo he always saw around your head? Where was that beam of light following you around?

His rose-tinted glasses suddenly became grey and dull. Taking your left hand, Crispin felt his heart shatter even more when his hand brushed the string ring on your finger. They had cleaned you up and made sure there was no blood left on your body, but nothing could remove those tiny, miniscule splatters that stained the string.

Remnants of what happened today.

You never did remove it. Even when showering or swimming or washing the dishes, you'd joked to him.

"See? 'Di ko nga kailangan ng singsing. Mas maganda pa nga 'to, eh. I can wear it all the time! Matibay pa!"

Crispin could nearly hear you, but it was all just a memory in his mind. God, he didn't want to forget your voice. Your laughter. Your cries. You whispering to him how much you loved him. He couldn't. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he did.

Both of you didn't even get to say "I love you" one last time. But reality was harsh, and this wasn't a movie where the leading characters could have a lengthy monologue confessing to each other as the dramatic scene was drawn out from seconds into minutes.

There were no camera angles, no music, no time left, and no happy endings. Everything was raw. Real.

"Hindi ba't sinabi mo sa akin na sabay tayong mangangarap?"

"Mahal," his voice trembled as he held your icy hand to his lips, kissing it. "Huwag mo akong iwan. What about us? Our dreams? Andami pa nating pangarap, 'di ba? Mga gustong gawin?"

No response.

"Tatatanda pa tayo, 'di ba? Bibili pa tayo ng bahay na nasa bundok... then we'll travel the world together, right? We've... We've saved up half of the funds! You... You can't leave now..."

Silence.

Crispin felt tears dripping down his face. He hadn't noticed he was crying. Only with you could he be a sniveling mess—around the others, he always had to be the kuya. The responsible one. The oldest one. The loyal bodyguard.

With you? He could be anything and you would never judge him.

Even when you were dead, he was still a sniveling mess in your arms.

"Sabi mo gusto mong manalo sa lotto," he choked out, cupping your cheeks. It was so strange to him; how colorless they were compared to how... spirited you were in life. "I'll do that... I'll make that happen. Just please... please come back to me. Gagawin ko ang lahat... bumalik ka sa akin, mahal. Mahal..."

Crispin told himself nothing was impossible when a god loved someone, yet now all this god could do was be paralyzed by his despair.

"Bakit bigla kang lumisan nang hindi man lang nagpaalam?"

They say there are five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. People don't talk enough about how they weren't actually stages. They were just five emotions and there was no particular order they came in. They would come and go, and that was how dealing with loss really was.

Today, as he was cradling his departed soulmate and the only woman he knew he'd ever love this much—reduced to tears while nursing his broken heart—he was feeling denial, bargaining, and depression all at once.

Only then did he allow himself to feel anger—just pure, unadulterated fury—when Alexandra let him and his brother unleash their bloodlust to the guilty aswang clan that had been the culprits of the mall shooting. The bank robbery.

He had his vengeance.

The son of the wargod nearly became a god of war that night, coming home soaked in the same crimson that dripped off his guns. He swore to himself he'd rip the world apart for you and build it back from scratch. Thus, Crispin was merciless to those who murdered you and all those other innocent humans.

He took his time watching the life dissipate out of their eyes, especially since he didn't see yours before you died. They were already closed when he got to the hospital too late.

Denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. He'd felt all that as time passed, on and off.

Acceptance? That last stage? That last emotion? Crispin never did really get to that point. Perhaps he would. Perhaps he wouldn't. Only more time would tell.

"Isang malamig na hangin ang yumakap sa akin."

The demigod sat under the tree that shaded your gravestone, a bouquet of white and red roses beside him while he relaxed on the grass. It was a classic symbol of true and everlasting love. That was the vow you'd made to one another, right?

December 1st.

It had been one year since your death. Wasn't it funny how the fates worked? Two years ago, on this very day, you two promised each other that you'd be together forever. He said that this day would be memorable to him until the day he died because technically, it was your engagement slash informal wedding anniversary.

Then one year ago, you had been shot trying to protect a child from those armed aswang. You saved the kid, alright. Crispin even made sure that the little boy, one of the lucky survivors of the shooting, wouldn't be targeted by the aswang. He ensured your sacrifice wouldn't be in vain. But what was supposed to be a marriage anniversary turned into your death anniversary.

December 1st.

The day would indeed be eternally ingrained into his mind.

But now, he could only dwell on nostalgia as he crouched and cleaned your gravestone, polishing it after removing all the grass and dirt. Engraved on it were the words beloved friend, sister, and wife.

Wife.

He really should have married you before you were declared dead. It didn't matter now; you would always be his wife, even in death.

On the left side of your gravestone was his mother's tombstone. He did the same, cleaning it and polishing it. When he was done, he tapped your gravestone thrice, "Una na ako, mahal. Paalam din, Ma. Baka hanapin pa ako ni bossing."

Tap. Tap. Tap.

He jerked, swerving around and standing up. He swore someone just touched his shoulder and—

Whoosh!

"Parang isang pahiwatig na magpapaalam ka na."

A gentle breeze came from behind him, where the tree was. Once more, he turned around.

Crispin didn't know what to do.

He thought he was dreaming, but he wasn't. He knew he wasn't. Not with the way your hand rested on his cheek. Not with how warm you felt.

Despite seeming almost transparent, you looked absolutely radiant, more so than when you were in life. If he was biased before about you having a halo and a beam of light following you around, now he wasn't (because you really did have a golden circle on your head and a candescent glow behind you).

You didn't speak, but again, you tapped your index finger thrice on his cheek. He was too stunned to react to the featherlight touch you had. It was almost nothing, but it was there. A ghostly tap, tap, tap.

"... Mahal?" he whispered.

You joyfully beamed at him (God, did you look divine), then planted a fragile kiss on his lips. You settled down on the roots of the tree and patted the patch of grass beside it. He sat down slowly. When he did, he removed his black gloves while you intertwined your hand with his.

On his left ring finger was a string ring made from that old shirt of yours. The same one you improvised your string ring from. It was how Crispin always remembered you and how he brought your memory everywhere with him.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The triple tapping. Perhaps it was your way of wordlessly saying you loved him while simultaneously bidding him goodbye as a ghost. He didn't know. You couldn't speak (or he couldn't hear you), so you did what you could.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Just that gesture every once in a while as you quietly listened to him tell you about his day.

When he had to leave, he saw you there by the tree, sitting and waving at him. The next time he came to visit, you were there. Always there, waiting.

And when you weren't, after a couple of decades, Crispin knew that it was time for him to let you go.

To let himself move on.

But that didn't mean he stopped hurting or stopped loving you. He could never stop loving you. Never.

Kahit kailangan ka niyang bitawan upang makapagpatuloy ka sa kabilang buhay, habangbuhay kang minahal ng isang diyos ng digmaan.

× AUTHOR'S NOTE ×

Nasa mood kasi akong manakit ng tao (because ngayon ko lang pinanood ang mga pelikula ni Rico Yan & Claudine Barretto after his death; ang pait eh, right person but wrong time). Medyo sadista pala ako, haha. Ayun, pati ako umiiyak habang nagsusulat nito. Even when I was showering, I was still crying and blowing my nose out. Sana nagustuhan niyo kasi pati author niyo nasaktan sa ginawa niya. 🥲😅

And that tapping gesture was inspired by a random Reddit post I saw years ago. As someone whose love language ain't saying stuff out loud, that just really called out to me. Acts of service kasi akin, eh.

Anyways, I finished writing this at like, 12AM. I'll just edit the typos and errors tomorrow because I want to get this oneshot off my chest. Goodnight! 😂💤

Comments and constructive criticism are welcome! Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated, too! (Yes, you may also rant at me for this.) 💙

TAGLIST: @belladaises @binibiningbabaylan @4kodzuk3n @sparklingmallow @severuslovebot @holyshxtangel @marinac15 @space-flamingo @pippethealien @kashasenpai @disappointmentpastry @hornehlittleweeblet2 @seijohoe @monimiin @ibelievein2dmensupremacy @tinybonksharkcop @hannalogies @banisuoh @genshin-idiot @lemonnie-kimmie @haliya-mori

#trese #trese 2021 #trese netflix #crispin #crispin x reader #trese fic #x reader #trese x reader #thera.writes

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silverrstarrr · 3 years

Text

extra hand

Update note: Happy spring break loves! Here's a smut I never finished but I still wanted to post it. I'll be taking break from writing eren. I recently started simping for geto Suguru from jjk so😩

Okay, so this is my first smut. I'm just experimenting and playing around with things. I WOULD LOVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, but don't bash me bc I'm a little sensitive and then go off 🥲. Song? Um, don't get mad at me but killshot by Magdalena b. slowed n reverb and no guidance remix, slowed n reverb.😕🦴

Pairings: erenxf!reader, smut!

Warnings: fingering, swearing, idk??

"Fuck!"

You tossed your phone onto the nearby bed in the spawn of annoyance, watching the mobile device bounce up a few times, then settling down into the soft comforter. Why were you irritated? It was because he hasn't texted. Eren Yeager haven't texted you back.

Your relationship with eren was a toxic one. You weren't the type to romanticize or fetishize "toxicness" but here you are, putting yourself in one.

Eren was your boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend? The both of you used to talk, met at a dumb frat boy party. This should have raised red flags immediately but you guessed the alcohol was to blame for it.

You guys had a small heated makeout session in one of the corners, away from the crowd. Sadly your friend was vomiting all over the place and had to take your leave.

Slowly you started seeing each other on campus and exchanged numbers. He'd always flirt with you, crack small jokes and was a good listener.

Sometimes he made small gestures and teasing comments that made the tension between you two, very heavy.

You started talking to him more than usual. you were sure eren only gave you his number to call you anytime he was in the mood, which happened often. It was obvious he's been with other women before cause, phew, he knew how to put it down.

Despite being fuck buddies, he was always down to chat and talk about things. You adored everything about him. How unkempt his hair was, the way he'll always ask how you were feeling and was willing to help you–his beautiful jade eyes.

Anytime you were upset with him, he always knew how to catch your attention again. From all this, you caught feelings. Real bad. But eren didn't feel the same, well so you thought.

Eren was walking around campus with another girl, arm slung around her shoulder, him whispering sweet nothings in her ears as you watched her face get red and started laughing. He even took you on small dates to restaurants and hanged out at his dorm.

You stood there dumbfounded. He played you. You guys were never a thing, you didn't understand why you thought you'll be different, he's a fuck boy after all.

He hit you up later that night, wanting to have a sesh in his car. Your emotions were spilled all over the place. you messaged him back questioning about the girl he was with. You sounded so desperate and you hated it.

From the way you were texting he knew you've caught feelings and automatically cut you off.

You were shocked, you hoped for him to just clear things up and tell you those overly used line: "she doesn't mean anything". You know, what most guys tell their girlfriends after being caught cheating.

But that was 4 months ago. He recently got in touch with you two week ago. How dare he just try to slide back into your life as if nothing happened? you were beyond pissed but you still messaged him back anyways. What the fuck? You're just going to get hurt all over again. You guys were chatting for a good week and decided to meet at his dorm.

"Hey y/n, long time no see, huh." He said

you clicked your tongue. "So you just ghost girls out of nowhere and hit them back up whenever you feel like it?" you were absolutely irritated, you wanted to punch his stupid face.

Eren rolled his eyes and let out a tiresome sigh. "It's whatever, get over it. I messaged you back, correct? You should be happy."

He was high. You could already tell by the way he smelled and the reason why he texted you out of the blue.

"Fuck you, Eren." You stormed out of there with your blood rushing. You were so angry but wanted to cry so much. "Whatever"? Was he serious?

You immediately called an uber and went home.

You rented out an apartment with one of your friends from high school. They were out most of the time so you never really saw them.

Automatically, eren was blowing up your phone with text messages. You didn't answer them, and kept him on delivered.

Which didn't last long because early on, on Tuesday, you messaged him back.

He was obviously upset you left him up and dry for a week but got over it.

Now, you're here. Waiting for his reply once again, your last text message was three days ago. It was currently Saturday night, 6:48 pm.

He hasn't responded since Wednesday. Was he going to ghost you again? Maybe he found another girl to mess with? bzzt bzzt You instantly whipped your head back, and stared at your phone's now lightened screen. You had a notification,

From eren.

Unlocking your phone, you checked what he sent.

"Can you come over?"

"pls?"

You read, then reread, then read again. He wanted you to come over? he's doing it again. He's fucking doing it again. He responds three nights later, what the fuck.

You didn't respond at first. Just staring at the open conversations.

You guessed eren saw that you read his text and three dots appeared on the lower left, he was typing.

"y/n, I know I fucked up but please can you respond at least?"

Your thumbs swiped against the keyboard.

"say what? what do I owe you a response for?" You sat down on your bed as the blue bubble sent.

"my phone got messed up, I dropped in it in the rain on my way back from practice. It cracked really bad"

You studied the screen not knowing what to say. You couldn't tell if he was lying or if it was true. But it did rain on Tuesday, so his story wasn't completely untruthful.

"I'll be over in 10"

That's it, you gave in to him. You're just setting yourself up again for another heartbreak.

You decided to prepare yourself. This was going to be a long night

—

You had your jacket on as you stepped out the door. It was still winter, luckily the piled up snow died down.

You quickly jogged to your uber and entered inside. the driver took off shortly after you came in.

The drive was pretty short, he was only ten minutes away. you wished it was longer, so you could lecture yourself for the decision you made.

You hoped out the car and went inside the boys dormitory. His dorm was on the left wing, so you proceed towards that direction.

Eren shared a dorm with Armin, you hoped he was there just in case a heated argument happened because you had a feelings one would come.

Arriving at the hall where all the rooms were at, you walked down the hall checking the numbers, so you'll know which one was his.

You despise that you remembered it as you stood in front of his door.

You pulled out your phone to shoot him a quick "here" to notify your arrival.

Not too long after, a tall brunette opened the door, he immediately grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside.

The room was dim and dark, other than the dark purple LD lights.

You felt your back make contact with the door behind you, he snaked his free hand around your waist. He pressed his lips against yours, you could feel his impatience as he tilted his head slightly to the side to deepen the kiss.

He pulled away ever so slight and licked the bottom of your lip asking for entrance, so intoxicated by his lust you simply obeyed and parted your mouth slightly. His warm tongue slipping in exploring every inch of your mouth.

You ran your other hand over his black t-shirt trailing up to his neck soon afterwards interlocking your fingers in his brown locks. Although the kiss felt rushed it still made you melt, and gave a small throb down in your area. You slightly tugged on his hair earning you a groan into the heated kiss.

The butterfly’s in your stomach were going on a rampage and your heart was beating out of your chest. He slightly pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your mouths together.

"...eren," you moaned slightly.

He was looking down at you, you were so stunning beneath him—face already flustered from one kiss. he wanted to here his name once more.

traveling down to your neck, he started showering it with wet kisses, and continued traveling down. He reached your collarbone and gave it a small bite, as the skin turned red, your grip in hair grew tighter. You were a mess, already ready feeling slick in between your legs as you rubbed them together, desperate for any sort of friction.

eren slid his hand upwards from your waist to your shirt, his soft hands grazed your bare skin—rubbing slowly, sending shivers down your spine.

you released another breathy moan as he continued at your neck. Hearing you moan was a blessing to him, he couldn't stop thinking about you ever since your last encounter.

He wanted to defile you, run his hands all over your body, touching placing only he knew he had access to—having your fingers intertwined in his long locks as he heard dumb founded mewls, begging him to stop teasing and give you what you wanted.

He pulled himself away from your neck, leaving you stunned at his sudden stop.

" why'd you st-" you were cut off by the jerk at your arm once again. He was taking you to his room as you trailed behind him, not saying a word.

Reaching his room, he pulled you inside, his lips crashed against yours once more, he kicked the door with his foot and closed it, locking the knob.

Your mind was fuzzy, you felt so heated and felt your pussy clench against nothing. You wanted him so bad, his impatience was rubbing off of you. But you couldn't bring yourself to tear away from his mouth, his lips felt so soft against your own. It made you feel wanted by him again, as if he never ghosted you and needed you this whole time.

Your back touched the soft mattress of his bed as he climbed on top of you, you were going haywire. you gave in to him with no obligation whatsoever and was dominanted in response. you can't say you didn't expect this from the moment he decided to text you.

His hands slithered up your shirt, pushing it up, grabing a hold of your breast through the bra. you smiled at his eagerness to touch you, how long has he been like this? using your elbows to support you, you raised your upper back from the bed as his other hand came around and unhooked your bra.

The butterflies in your stomach wouldn't stop, the warmth from his body felt attonishing against your own. sloppy kisses smothered across your lips, each break releasing a moan from one another, hearing throughout the room.

You laid back down as his hand large hands began fondling with your breast, your nipples were already hard from all the foreplay.

Eren hips started to grind against your pelvis,

"Fuck..." he moaned out, his face was already red, blushing like a dumb teenage virgin.

You break the kiss and sat up to remove your shirt, eren gave you space to do so–moving back a little. You tossed it on the floor, on the otherside of the bed, along with your bra, which was sitting next to you since eren took it off. You knocked you shoes off as well.

You immediately leaned towards eren wrapping your arms around his neck, lips already on his own, making him fall towards your direction—giving you a chance to wrap your legs around his waist. Your back made contact with the mattress once again and you moved your hips, grinding your heated core against his crotch.

"Dammit y/n...fuck, I can't stand this...when you do this to me."

Eren followed the same action as you. Releasing small moans and you both continued to dry hump one another.

You tugged at his shirt, wanting him to take it off. You didn't like it when you were the only bare and he knew this, a small chuckled erupted from his throat as he got on his knees–hands grasping the hem of the shirt, tugging it over his head.

You laid there in awe, he still kept his shape after all these months. You guessed those practices were really paying off. Your hand trailed up his torso, feeling his sculpture chest beneath your palm. His skin was so soft, you drifted your hand back down, passing over his abs.

"You like what you see?" he said smirking down at you.

"Shut up." you spat out.

Eren moved back down to your chest and took a hold of your breast, bringing his mouth to your nipple–while his other hand supported his weight. He gave it a long lick eyes flickering up at you, checking your reaction. His mouth was warm, his heavy breath touching your skin while he decided to play with your nipple.

You released small grunts as his red tongue swirled around your perked bud, closing his mouth then releasing it—leaving kisses and bite marks all around your breast. You were prepared for all the purplish marks you'll in the morning, you prayed you had your ointment at home.

Using his other hand, he slid his hand down your stomach, earning another moan from you. His touch felt so ethereal, this was what your body was craving for all these months.

His hand slid past your joggings, making contact with your cotton underwear. He dipped his fingers between your lips, gathering the slick that was leaking from your heat. His fingers brushed against your clit, as you moaned his name,

"eren—hnng, stop teasing—"

His only response was a smirk as he released his lips from your nipple with a wet pop sound.

"look how wet you are for me, hm? what happened to that attitude that you're so keen of?" his index finger continued to rub against your entrance, your clit getting some friction in the process. His middle finger plunge into your hole, sliding is easily from the lubrication of your wetness as he began pumping his finger in a steady motion, each stroke going deeper and deeper, stretching you out.

"nnghh—fuck eren..." your voice pitched at a higher tone for a moment.

you haven't felt like this is a while, his long digit fitted perfectly into your hole.

"hm? look how tight you pussy has gotten without me, can't wait to feel you around me."

Eren pulled his finger out, using his index to spread open your lips, then gathered some more slick as both fingers went inside.

He was prepping you up for his length, since you haven't had sex in a while. His fingers started to scissor you, both spreading out in your core—stretching you out even more.

Your hand immediately went for his hair and tugged at it with a grunt, eren moaned at your aggressiveness with his brunette locks.

"s-stop...mfhh." another soft mewl escaped your lips.

Eren pulled out his fingers and rested them in your panties.

"Stop?" He knew what you meant, he always does. his eyebrow turned to an arch, waiting an answer.

"m'didn't mean for you...to," you couldn't form a sentence, your mind was so hazy from the heated atmosphere between you two. you wanted his touch again, you hated the feeling of you clenching around nothing.

eren gave your chest a few pecks, then one at your neck close to your jaw.

"use your words, y/n." man, he was enjoying this too well. He missed this part of you so bad, having you a complete mess under his touch.

"I want you inside of me." The last word was spoken in a lower tone, you were embarrassed. Never knew you'll hear those words come from your mouth again.

"Good girl." He bought his fingers up to his mouth as he sucked on them, swirlying his pink tongue around his digits while directly making eye contact with you. Releasing them with another wet pop, he start to work on his joggers.

Moving off of you, he swing his legs to the edge of bed, pullng down his gray sweats as it hits the floor–slides it across the floor. He did the same with his boxers.

You did the same, taking off your bottoms along with your damp panties, placing it over with your other clothing.

erens cock slapped against his abdominal, precum already dripping from the slit of head.

He gave himself a few strokes, groaning loudly as he shifted back to your direction. Settling between your legs, he uses his hand to trace his pink tip between your folds, slipping between your lips constantly—gathering lubrication.

"m'mfgh...stop teasing eren," your chest was heavy with anticipation, you wanted him inside you so bad. His free rest on your bended knee, his fingers drawing circles.

"shhh, y/n—I know." He coos.

Finally, he dipped his cock into your seeping hole as your velvety walls draw him in–not giving him a chance to adjust from tight you were. You both moan in unison, feeling contentment, getting what you guys wanted you at last.

" hnng, you're so tight...shit," erens eye closed shut while he pushed the rest of his length inside you. Even after stretching you out with his fingers, you were still tight and eren enjoyed every second of it.

Once he was in all the way, his cock was a snug fit—he waited for you to adjust so he could move.

Your chest now heaving up and down, you give a little nod—signaling it was okay to move. Drawing his hips back, he slid out of your core completely and immediately thrusted forward entering back to your wet core.

Eren began thrusting into you at a steady pace as his both of his hands grabbed your legs, resting them behind your knee.

You knew it'll be a long night.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

update note: HAHAHA IM BACK GUYS MORE FANFICS. I'm finally on spring break 😭

#x reader #anime #attack on titan #eren headcanons #eren x reader #eren yeager #eren yeager x reader #aot x black reader #eren jeager x reader #eren jeager #eren jeager headcanons #armin x black reader #eren aot #eren yeager smut

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solarwonux · 3 years

Text

Needy || Joshua Hong

fratboy!joshua x f!reader

w.c: 3.5k

warnings: angst a little, smut, car sex, unprotected sex, dirty talking, friends with benefits to lovers, breeding kink if you squint, fluff

note: Happy Birthday Joshua hehe. I hope you guys like this one let me know :)

masterlist

You awake?

The bright light of your phone made you squint as you read over Joshua’s text, a suppressed yawn falling out of your mouth.

I am now.

You sat up on your bed, blinking rapidly trying to regain your vision while attempting to read the time. Three in the morning. You sighed, the cold air conditioning hitting your naked arms making you shiver.

Joshua rarely texted you, if it wasn’t to meet his needs. Sexual and all. And in turn you did the same. It was part of the arrangement the two of you had concocted one Friday night over a half-finished research project, a few drinks and a one-night stand.

It worked.

That was until your feelings for him grew into something more than sexual. You wanted him—no you needed him in every way possible. You wished he would cave into you instead of keeping you at arm’s length. Scared of how his frat brothers would view him if they were to ever find out he was fucking around with a girl in his Women in Literature class. He ignored you. Acted as if you didn’t exist, flirted with other people in front of you, jabbing knives into your heart repeatedly. It hurt you, but you always had to remind yourself that your feeling’s weren’t part of the deal.

You hated him and yourself for letting him treat you in such a disgusting way. For feeling desperate and insecure enough to let him use you in every possible. Until, he showed up at your doorstep with a lustful glint sparkling behind his soft eyes. And you’d fall on your knees worshipping the ground he walked on as if he were Aphrodite’s son.

Every time he came and left you swore that it would be the last time, knowing very well you were lying to yourself. Your feelings for him haunted you, they stayed at the back of your mind as you tried everything in your power to keep them locked away in a wooden box.

Joshua Hong was addicting.

An addiction you never wanted to recover from not matter how much it hurt you. He was like sweet poison running through your veins and you’d bust your lip on the venom he dispensed over and over again in order to keep him close. Your need to feel his body close to you was far greater than your unwanted feelings and another failed love affair.

Let’s go for a drive.

Joshua tapped his fingers on his steering wheel. The chill driving playlist he had put on sounding through his car speakers, while he waited for you outside of your apartment. His impatience getting the best of him, contemplating on whether he should honk his horn or not. But seeing at it was nearing four in the morning he decided against it.

He sighed and rested his head against his window. He was exhausted, but every time he would close his eyes to welcome sleep, his thoughts would start up again. He hated thinking because every time he thought his doubts would seep in. They surrounded his entire body and made him want to scream out into the void. He was frustrated that he had feelings for someone. Feelings that were so strong that occasionally would threaten to break the surface. He wanted to confess but he couldn’t bring himself to confess because he was scared that they would see him for who he was.

A coward who was too scared to admit he was in love because he feared it.

“You’re gonna open the door for me or leave me stranded out here?” Joshua jumped, your forehead pressed up against the glass of his car window. He could tell you were tired, the bags underneath your eyes were prominent, and your face was flushed and little bloated. He felt bad for waking you up, but he needed to see you. He needed to feel your calming presence by his side because despite the relationship the two of you had. You were the only person that could make him feel at ease.

He unlocked his car door, watching you yank it open and get it. “What’s up?” You grabbed his jacket from the floor and put it on top of you as if it were a blanket. It was useless but it kept the cold air at bay.

“Nothing, put on your seatbelt.” He took his car of park and backed out of your driveway. You rolled your eyes reaching over for the seat belt and put it on. “Something’s wrong but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” You shrugged leaning back in his passenger seat and rested your head against the black leather.

“Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Reasonable.” You yawned, bringing the jacket up to your neck. “You can go to sleep if you want, I just didn’t want to be alone.” Joshua retreated his hand from the steering wheel and placed it on your thigh giving it a squeeze. You gazed over at him, taking him in just like you did whenever the two of you were together. The dark blue of his bangs tickling his eyelashes keeping his eyes hidden from yours.

Joshua tightened his grip on his steering wheel, his thumb caressing the outside of your clothed thigh. He knew you could tell something was bothering and he wanted to tell you, to open up and finally let you in. To give you a free pass to break his heart. To let you walk all over him while he succumbed to your touch, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t let you see what he kept hidden inside because he couldn’t lose you. At least not yet.

“Don’t do that you’re going to draw blood.” Your thumb ran over his chin, tapping on his bottom lip that he had been chewing on since he started driving. He smiled and placed a gentle kiss against the pad of your thumb. Your body felt hot and you retrieved your hand, hiding it again with his jacket. He moved his hand from your thigh and put it back on his steering wheel. The heat of his touch going missing making you feel cold again.

You yawned; your eyes felt heavy. The soft melodies that played from his car radio getting louder than before and you only assumed that was Joshua’s way of silently telling you to stop talking. You turned your eyes away from him settling on the view of the open road. The stillness of the early morning heightening your feelings for him or maybe it was the lack of sleep. Either way you found yourself wishing you had never fallen for him.

“F-Fuck,” Joshua gasped running his length over your wet slit. “You’re always so wet for me.” He mumbled pressing his head against your clit making you shudder against him. The cool air of the ocean breeze hitting your needy bodies making the two of you more desperate than before.

You knew that when you agreed to go on this drive with Joshua, he would end up driving to the spot on the beach the two of you frequently visited on sleepless nights. You knew he would ask you to help him remove the sunrider roof then sweet talk you into accompanying him to the bed of his Jeep. Where he had a plethora of blankets set up, creating a makeshift bed, claiming he wanted to watch the sunrise with you. And you knew you’d end up underneath him begging for him to give you what you wanted. What you needed.

Tonight, was no different.

Joshua had lured you into his love shack with his charming looks and soft smile. He had let sinful words escape his lips. A knowing look etched on his face, while he watched you wither next to him, untouched. He had worked you up slowly, kissed your neck gently instead of marking you up like he usually did. He had taken your clothes off showered your body with kisses, lingering on the parts of your body you hated the most, showing them love. Showing you, he was present with you and in tune with your body.

The soft waves crashing against the beach shore were forgotten, along with the rising sun against the horizon and the morning dew film that had started to stick on to your flushed-out bodies. Nothing else in the world mattered but the pressure you felt in between your legs and your delicious heat wrapping around him, engulfing him in until he bottomed out. His head falling into the crock of your neck, whispering sweet nothings against it while he started to fuck you slowly.

“Y-You feel so good, so w-warm.” Joshua kissed you, feverishly, swallowing your moans. His soft lips whimpering against yours. “I want to be inside you forever.” His hips moving against yours slowly, making sure you could feel all of him inside you. His hands found your back and pushed you against him, chests heaving against one another’s. You arched your back, gripping the blankets underneath you. Your moans bouncing off the windows of his cars, mixing with the sound of ocean waves.

This was a sight you were all too familiar with. A sight that played in your head whenever the two of you were apart. A sight you craved for constantly wondering when he would call you up again to use you for his selfish needs. This sight however felt and was different. He had taken his time, showed you that he knew how your body worked. Joshua had prioritized your pleasure over his and it sent warning flares through your body, because it felt like a goodbye.

“I want you to cum with me.” Joshua grunted his hand snaking in between your bodies searching for the little bud of pleasure. His thumb hoovering over it, the suspense had you withering, begging for him to touch you the only way he knew how. You whimpered feeling the ghost of his touch, your fingers tweaking at your nipple, sending a rush of pleasure through your body. “J-Joshua, mmm, I-I need to cum.” You pressed your chest into you hands, watching as his face contorted into pure bliss, his thrusts getting sloppier, his thumb finally connecting with your clit and rubbing slow figure eight, constrasting the speed of his thrusts. You gasped raising your hips rocking against his hips and hand, feeling the sweet coil start to build up.

“Go on angel, cum around my cock. Let me feel you.” He groaned finding your free hand and interlocking your fingers with his. You clenched around him. Your orgasm getting nearer, until it wasn’t. Until Joshua evilly slowed down his thrusts, pressing his thumb forcefully onto your clit, sending a jolt through your body. “J-Joshua please.” You choked out digging your finger nails into the back of his hand. He smirked pulling himself out of you fully, the head of his cock teasing your entrance.

“Gonna let me cum in you baby, fill you up until it’s spilling out of you.”

“F-Fuck, yes Joshua…whatever just fuck me.” You said the desperation lingering in your voice. Joshua hummed in response before ramming himself into you a broken whine falling from your lips. His thumb on your clit again, your body convulsing with pleasure as you felt yourself come undone around him. Choked out moans leaving your lips as he continued to thrust himself into you, helping you ride out your orgasm while chasing your high.

Joshua panted wrapping your leg around his waist, the head of his cock pressing into the soft velvety spot making you cry out. “J-Joshua t-too much.”

“It’s okay baby I got you…always.” He leaned his body over you, his warm chest resting against your flushed one. He brought his free hand moving the falling strands of hair away from your face. His eyes boring into yours, whispering silent praises until he finally spilled his seed inside you, filling you up to the brim. He hid his head into your neck biting down, your heat continuing to clench around him, milking him out.

The remnants of your orgasms overwhelming the two of you. Pants echoing against the roar of the ocean waves, your chests rising against one another’s while you tried to recover from your highs.

Joshua raised his head, a satisfied smile playing against his lips. “Thought this was just a drive.” You said moving his sweaty bangs away from his eyes. He shook his head chuckling, sitting back on his knees pulling himself out of you. “You should know by now that I can’t hold back when it comes to you,” His hands holding your legs open as he watched his cum fall out of you, a pleased groan slipping past his bruised lips.

“So sexy.” His palm landing against your thigh making you yelp out in pain. “You’re such a guy Joshua.” You rolled your eyes trying to close your legs, fighting against his grip. He reached behind finding the t-shirt he had been wearing and cleaned you up. His grip faltering once he was finished. You sat up on your elbows watching him clean himself up. The sun had now started to fully rise casting a golden hue against his body, accentuating all the parts he hated but you loved about him. You felt your heart tense up, a simple reminder of your unrequited feelings for him. You let out a frustrated sigh falling on your back, taking in the bright hues of the morning sun.

Joshua moved and laid down next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist resting his chin against your shoulder. “You alright?” Worry lingering in the back of his voice and you wanted to push him away but keep him close at the same time.

“I’m all sweaty and sticky.” You lied, protruding your bottom lip out and turned to face him. He smirked pulling you closer to his body, wrapping your thigh around his hip. His growing length toying against your swollen folds. “We have an ocean right in front of us.” He whispered his lips finding your neck making you sigh. “Let’s use it to our advantage.” Joshua smirked against the shell of your collar bones. The ringing in your ear from your last orgasm still lingered, but you found yourself needing him once again.

“What if a morning jogger walks by?” You pressed your chest closer to his, his lips nipping on your skin. His hands moving down to your ass and kneading it, the growing beads of his precum falling onto the skin of your mound.

“Then we’ll give them a show.” He bit down, a whimper running past your lips. And you found yourself hating the effect he had on you for the third time that morning. But just like you needed him he also needed you and that terrified him beyond belief.

Joshua wrapped a towel around your wet naked body and placed a kiss against your forehead, lingering there for a few seconds before pulling away. “How are you feeling?” His index finger ran down the side of your cheek taking the water droplets that had fallen from your hair with it. The morning sun had finally finished rising, waking up all life on Earth reminding the two of you that soon it wouldn’t be just the two of you anymore.

Joshua’s heart hadn’t stopped palpitating since you got into his car that morning. His stomach erupted into butterflies whenever he had held you close throughout the immoral escapades the two of you had engaged in all morning. He never wanted to let you go and now as he looked down into your glittering eyes with the heat of the golden sun rays hitting your sensitive bodies, he found that he couldn’t picture a life without you in it. You were a light in a world filled with darkness, where his demons would get the best of him.

When he was with you, he felt like he could let himself go and stop hiding behind an unrealistic image he thought he needed to keep up. An image that had girls and boys at his feet until he got what he wanted. He had used this to his advantage and for the most part it worked, until he met you.

To him you were a free spirit, who found comfort in the stillness of the night underneath the glimmering stars. You never took no for an answer and despite your insecurities–ones he wished he could make disappear forever, you always confidently kept your head held high. From the moment his eyes landed on you a spark of electricity erupted inside of him, warning sirens sounding at loud volumes in his head because from that moment on he knew he was fucked. You had ignited a fire inside of him, one he never wanted to blow out. And even though he wasn’t sure if your feelings for him held the same weight as the ones he had for you. He didn’t care because if anyone was going to break his heart, he was glad it would be you.

“Joshua Hong are you there?” You waved a hand in front of his face. His eyes blinking rapidly as he saw the ghost of images appear in his line of sight due to looking into the sunlight for longer than usual. “Sorry, what did you say again?” He grabbed a pair of khaki pants from the gym bag he kept in the back of his car.

“I asked if you wanted me to be honest with you?” You joked sitting down on the bed of his car, holding the towel tightly against your body. You watched as he stumbled back and forth while trying to put on his pants, a low laugh escaping your lips. No matter what it was Joshua always had a habit of making things harder for himself. An observation you had discovered early on in your friendship and somehow you found it incredibly endearing.

“Always…I always want you to be honest with me.” He smiled leaving his pants unbuttoned then reaching over to grab a colorful button-down shirt, eyeing you closely as he slipped it on. “I’m sleepy, hungry and a little sore.” You crossed your legs, a cool breeze blowing making you shiver slightly.

“If that’s the case then I have a proposition for you?” He smirked closing the gap between the two of you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “Get dressed, I’ll buy you breakfast at the diner by your place and then we can sleep for the rest of the day.” Joshua leaned his face forward and placed a chaste kiss against your cheek. He pulled away, retreating his hands from your body, watching smugly as the heat rushed through your body.

“Wait…together, sleep all day together. Like you and me at my place on my bed…sleeping?” You moved your head to the side raising a curious brow. “Mhm, I mean I could just drop you off and go home, but it’d rather be with you. I can sleep on the couch if it makes you uncomfortable.” He shrugged leaving the last three buttons of his shirt undone, his toned chest peeking through and if you weren’t so sore, tired and confused you would’ve initiated a fourth round.

“No, it’s fine you’ve been in my bed in more ways than one it’s just that you’ve never wanted to do anything other than have sex.” You removed your towel and reached over to grab your t-shirt that had been hanging off the headrest Joshua’s eyes following your every movement, taking in your glowing body, proudly eyeing the marks he had made on you before they disappeared underneath your shirt.

“I have another proposition for you then.” He stuffed his shaking hands in the pocket of his jeans, keeping them away from your line of sight. His nerves getting the best off him and his doubts came crashing down like a wave, making him overthink once again, until he felt your hands against your cheeks. “You’re filled with a lot of propositions, today aren’t you?” Your smile shinning brighter than the sun, making his heart skip a few beats.

He swallowed thickly basking in your afterglow taking his hands out of his pockets. “Be my girlfriend?” He whispered your eyes growing wide and your breath sped up. You blinked rapidly trying to determine whether you were dreaming or not. But the hopeful look behind his soft eyes brought you back down to Earth and you let out a nervous laugh. A pout forming on his face, his hands settling against your waist, while you hid your face in his chest laughing.

“This isn’t funny I’m dead serious.”

“I’m it’s just I’ve only dreamt about this, never expected it to come true.” You whispered your hold on him getting tired and you felt his body shake with low laughter. “Glad to know I’m not the only one who had fantasized this.” He spoke his arms snaking around your body, burying his face into your hair taking in the salty smell of the ocean.

“Yes.” You mumbled after minutes of silence. “I’ll happily be your girlfriend.”

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years

Text

How old is too old?

Jung Jaehyun x reader // SMUT, SMUT, angst, fluff

Themes: OLDER JAEHYUN, YOUNGER READER, please I’m begging you don’t read my works if you’re not comfortable.

Word count: 5k

Summary: Jaehyun was your father’s best friend and life has it’s own twist of reuniting you again.

Warnings: OLDER JAEHYUN, YOUNGER READER, BOTH LEGAL AGE, sex, sex, sex, over stimulation, choking, slapping, dom Jaehyun, mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols, swearing, unprotected sex, rough sex, filthy sex, sad ending, Jaehyun is Johnny’s best friend, Johnny is your dad do the math. Mentions of alcohol, mentions of pregnancy, sad ending

A/N: I did this in one sitting. This is only a made up story and theres no way in hell that this is true. If something about the warning doesn’t sit well on you please don’t read. I would like to thank the anon who pointed out the sensitive topic. I already deleted some parts and edited the fic. Again thank you, and I will be better next time. For the first 200+ readers, I’m sorry if the fic was carrying something sensitive and I was clueless about it but after consulting with some of my fellow writers, I think the edited version of this fic is now safer. Thank you! And if the concept is still sensitive you can message me again I’ll be happy to delete it.

Have you ever seen someone so dreamy and handsome that he sparkles every time he’s around? Or whenever he’s around he just lights up the whole room with his smile. He’s like an angel or a saint that walks among us. Mr. Jaehyun or Mr. Jae, as you call him, is the epitome of that description.

Same birthday, different age.

Years later

“Good morning princess, happy birthday”

The sun is hitting your eyes and you put an arm on your head, not minding the person kissing your exposed thighs. Yuta has been your fuck buddy ever since the day you’ve been introduced to sex. He was your first at everything, but you two never had the guts to take your relationship to the next level. Nonetheless, you’re both still scared to lose each other.

“See you tonight?” you said weakly, admiring Yuta’s angelic features under the bright natural light that comes in your room perfectly.

“Definitely” he kissed your cheek and flopped on top of your naked body, “Don’t forget to clean up well, I came almost five times inside you last night,” he said before he kisses you one last time and leaves you to enjoy your morning.

On your way to the dining room, every one that crosses your path greets you good morning and happy birthday. You respond with a smile and ‘thank you’ as you continue to walk, everyone seems busy for the dinner party tonight.

On the long table, you found your mother and father having coffee and reading the newspapers. “Morning” you greet the before you sit.

“Happy Valentine's day” Johnny, your father, teases you as he folds the newspaper. You roll your eyes at him at let out a small laugh, “You’ll love my surprise for you tonight” he added, chewing his toast with strawberry jam on it.

“Another car? Oh, wait. Did you bought me a whole Chanel boutique already?” you tease your father, even though he perfectly knew you hate material gifts.

“Oh no. You’ll like this one” he smirks at you and stood up to give you a kiss on the forehead, “happy birthday, I’ll be back before dinner and before the guests arrived. Just have to handle a few things at the office”

“Why do I feel like you’re about to buy me a private plane” you tease him again and left you with your mother to enjoy breakfast together.

Living with fame and money all your life didn’t make you a spoiled daughter, or a big spender like your dad. You’re always about the simple things in life that give you genuine happiness, it’s always the people around you are showering you with expensive gifts that you’re grateful for but to be honest, you don’t need it. Family, career, and love. Those are the most important things in your life. But about love, you’re not sure yet.

During the family dinner, as usual, the house is packed with family, family friends, and some people at work. Champagnes everywhere, people chatting about business or whatnot, families catching up, and friends reuniting.

“Where is dad?” you asked your mother, Seulgi while you wait for both your father and Yuta to arrive. You’re not blowing your birthday candles without your dad.

As you chat with other people and enjoy your celebration, your ears rang when you heard people exclaiming that Johnny has arrived. You walked to the entrance to greet your father, and to your surprise… Jaehyun is with him. Handsome as ever as if those years of not seeing each other didn’t make him age.

“You remember Jaehyun right?” your father introduced you to Jaehyun like one of his business partners, but Jaehyun is more than that.

“Mr. Jae, you’re back- is he, the gift that you’ve been telling me?” the question was directed to Johnny but your eyes are glued to Jaehyun, shaking his hands still.

“You’ve grown so much!” Jaehyun knew it was wrong to scan your hot body but he couldn’t resist. He’s good at hiding it.

Seeing Jaehyun right before your eyes made you feel things that you are not supposed to be feeling. He’s not your uncle, you don’t share the same blood, he’s just one of your dad’s business partners. The lust that you felt the moment you saw him scan your body felt so wrong but good at the same time. How can Mr. Jae do this to you?

As the night became more and more interesting, you and Jaehyun spent hours and hours talking and catching up. You have completely forgotten about your other guests, you just want to talk to Jaehyun the whole night.

He hasn’t changed a bit, the only thing that changed in his life is his steady career. The business in Connecticut made him filthy rich because he put his whole life on managing it. He apologised for leaving you and not saying goodbye, “to be honest I’m happy I didn’t see you before I leave, I knew you would be sad and I couldn’t bear seeing you like that. How are you?”

“The same sweet girl that you left, Mr. Jae” you just flirted and you hope he will just shrug it off. “Managing my own business now, I could live alone already but I’m too attached with my parents-“

“Hey, princess” Yuta came out of nowhere and interrupt you mid-sentence. He kissed you on the cheek, enough to make Jaehyun think that he’s your boyfriend or someone who has your heart. “Didn’t get to spend some time with you tonight, but it’s fine. I left your present on top of your bed, I hope you like it”

Jaehyun was watching attentively the whole time you and Yuta were talking, and after Yuta left you noticed that Jaehyun was smirking while he drinks his wine. “Now, I’m perfectly convinced that you’ve grown. He’s not your fiancé or anything right?”

“No no.” you shook your head nervously, “Just someone, who can provide my sexual needs” you added confidently letting him know that, yes you’re an adult now.

The catching up with Jaehyun continues, but soon your birthday ends and everyone needed to go home. Jaehyun kissed you on the cheek and told you that he was so happy to be reunited with you again.

“Oh, Mr. Jae” you blurted out before he gets in his car, “Happy birthday”

Jaehyun smiled so sweetly, heart-pounding, ear turning red because he’s so happy that you remember. “Happy birthday to us”

Weeks after your birthday, you decided to live separately with your parents and move out of the mansion. Johnny was sad about it, but he clearly knows sooner or later he needed to let go of you. While you were putting your stuff and organizing some of your things, someone knocked at your door but you’re hands are full you couldn’t open the door for them. “Come in, it’s open. Sorry, my hands are full” You were inside your walk-in closet, putting your shoes inside boxes and you wonder who it might be.

“Thought I should say hi to you. Your father is busy taking important calls” Jaehyun explained.

For a moment, you and Jaehyun chatted and exchanged questions. He asked you what made you change your mind about living on your own, you asked what's his business with your dad lately. Both gave interesting answers until the room became silent as you go back to packing your stuff.

He watches you put your things on boxes, but your Victoria’s Secret satin sleepwear catches his attention. Those thin shorts that expose your butt cheeks whenever you bend over, thin sleeveless top that he oh so wanted to remove, the way your nipples ghost on your thin satin sexy top makes him want to pinch your nipples until you’re whimpering.

You don’t know what he needs, but you feel his breath on your nape. His presence is not easy to avoid when he’s directly behind you and awfully close. “Mr. Jae, do you need something else?” You clear your throat before reaching something but he stopped you from moving. He turned you around and his hands are quick to hold your ass, squeezing them gently with both hands, your body relaxes against his chest but your heart is pounding.

“Put your leg around my waist” it was a stern tone that made you follow without hesitation. He put you on the nearest wall and pinned you the there, his hands are busy removing your shorts and panties. Once you’re naked waist down, he unbuckles his belt and released his thick, veiny cock. The place was dead silent and you couldn’t talk because you can’t believe what’s happening. He kissed you on the cheek before pushing in halfway.

It hurt. But he didn’t care.

He pulls out again only to push right back in a little harder than before. You closed your eyes because it fucking hurts but it felt so good that you part your lips and rolled your head back.

After a few pleasurable thrusts that stretched your walls good, he stopped. The goal was not to have sex and had an amazing orgasm then and there. Jaehyun was testing the waters if you’re up to doing something stupid with him. His main goal for putting his cock inside you was not to give you an orgasm but to let you know that letting him fuck you someday will fucking feel good.

“If you want this to happen again, go to my place tonight. I’ll text you the address” he went down to get your shorts and panties on the floor and helped you wear it. He buckled his belt in front of you without taking his eyes off of you.

Jaehyun left you in your room with a confused mind. Questions over questions but you do know one thing, he will surely see you in his place tonight. And because of that, you finished putting your stuff and took a long bath on the tub. Making sure that every part of your body smells like lavender.

The thought of Jaehyun being your father’s best friend doesn’t sit well on you but the urge and the want of being fucked by Jaehyun lurks in your mind. What’s so wrong about having sex with Jaehyun anyway? Yes, he’s older but you’re an adult too.

As you drive to Jaehyun’s house for the first time, you try not to think about the people who will get mad if they know about this stupid thing that you’re about to do. Jaehyun’s house location is so far from the city, away from every chaos you could think of. As expected, his house is big and well guarded. But it feels cold and lonely.

“You live alone? Mr. Jae?” you asked when you got out of the car, Jaehyun welcoming you with a hug. He looks comfortable in his house clothes, slippers and all.

“Yes. My helpers come and go every weekend to clean the house. How was the drive?” He put an arm around your waist before he opens the door and enter his house, it was beautiful inside. A Chet Baker song was playing somewhere around the house, and it smells good. “I cooked dinner, I hope you’re starving”

You thought that once you stepped foot in his house, he will bring you straight to his room and have sex with you because it’s always like that with Yuta but you’re wrong. He made you dinner and the set up is kind of romantic. The food that he cooked is delicious it made you feel like you were eating somewhere expensive.

And just after dinner and two bottles of wine ago, you two catch up some more. You caught yourself laughing at his stories, giggling when he flirts with you, smiling whenever he looks at you deeply. Then it hit you, maybe he’s just shy to admit that he likes you and that his true purpose is to date you not just fuck you.

“What I did earlier is rather bold and wrong, I’m-“

“It’s okay, Mr. Jae. I’m here, it happened already” he smiled as you sip on your wine.

“Please, call me Jaehyun” he smiled back to you.

When the two of you grew tired of catching up already, finally he brought you to his room. He left you for a minute to lurk around and all you felt was loneliness. The room felt lonely, his entire house too and you’re not stupid to know why you’re here. It’s clear that Jaehyun is lonely in his life even though he has all the money in the world.

“Where are you?” you feel his lips on your neck. Maybe he noticed that you were spacing out. But again, Jaehyun is close to your body just like earlier and it brought you back to reality. You can feel the warmth of his body that you oh so crave, his soft lips that you want to kiss and taste. He turned your body around to face him and just like that he kissed you softly as if he just read your mind.

“Is it weird?” that an older man is kissing you right now?

“No. Not at all, do it again?” you confidently requested, and he happily did it again. Arms around Jaehyun’s neck, kissing each other like everything is right, your fingers go through his soft hair. Every moan that comes from your mouth goes straight to his cock making it twitch and want to be inside you.

He sat you down on the edge of his bed and went in between your legs, removing your laced panties slowly. Dress all wrinkled and just above your thighs, straps already fell off your shoulders making you looked ruined already.

“I can’t wait any longer,” he said while removing his pants together with his expensive underwear. What’s about to happen is, Jaehyun will fuck on the edge of his bed. He pushed inside you again for the second time today without foreplay, rolling hips slowly making you see how lustful he is.

He was so concentrated on fucking you, but he leaned down for a kiss and pull away again so he can see his cock go in and out of your pussy. Jaehyun’s deep grunts and moans are like music to your eyes while yours are like an achievement for him. Hearing you moan because of him feeds his pride and he loves it.

“That Nakamoto guy you’ve been having sex with didn’t fucked you enough” he informs you confidently with a sly smirk on his face. You were so sensitive by this time, both legs folded and clipped on the edge of the bed giving Jaehyun more access to your cunt, explore angles as he pleases. You wanted to close your legs so bad, but it feels so damn good you force yourself to keep your legs open for him.

“Spread your folds for me” you followed and you let him flick his thumb up and down your slit while he fucks you still, putting pressure on his finger and putting his whole cock inside you.

“Too much,” you said weakly, out of breath, gasping so hard.

“And that’s what makes it feel good, enjoy it.” by this time you don’t know what made you cum so hard, his sexy voice, his cock inside you, or his fingers. The orgasm Jaehyun gave wasn’t something Yuta can easily deliver and you hate that you’re comparing them with each other. You close your legs and shiver on the mattress, feeling your pussy tingle even tho Jaehyun pulled out already.

“Good?” he leaned down on you again and kissed your lips, your neck, your face while you two crawl up to the bed and lay comfortably with the pillows. The kiss was full of hunger and lust as if he’s not letting you rest even just for a minute after making you cum for the first time. It was so intense that you’re high isn’t going away and you can feel him line his cock again while he distracts you with his hungry kisses.

“Jaehyun, I need to breathe” he chuckles and gave your request. He used the time to remove his shirt and get you naked before positioning himself again in between your legs that you refuse to open, “Baby, don’t make me open those legs for you” it wasn’t a threat, but it made you scared even tho he was kissing your neck the whole time he was talking.

His beautiful body is on top of you as you slowly open your legs again for him, he tickled your sides and it made you giggle. “Y/n, relax why are you so tensed?” Jaehyun’s arms are perfectly wrapped around your body and it’s making you blush and shy because it’s such an intimate position, the kind of sex position married couples use.

“I’m not tensed, it’s just everything feels new and were so close-“

“Get used to it then” he proceeds to kiss your neck and make you calm using his lips, he was still embracing you and you doubt that he’s going to pull away any second. “Ready?” he asked, rolling his hips a little and you nod your head ‘yes’.

There’s that stinging stretch again because of Jaehyun’s cock that makes your mouth open and your eyes closed. Your embrace to Jaehyun tightens while he thrust in and out of you slowly, but not for long. His thrusts became hammering pounds, that your head hit his headboard already but no one cares, it feels good. “Harder Jae, harder” it was a breathy tone that Jaehyun loved.

You can’t believe that those hard and piercing thrusts can make you both cum in no time and as expected, Jaehyun is wild. “Jae” you call out his name but he chose not to listen.

Tears on your eyes started to fall because of the overstimulation but the man above you sill hasn’t stopped, deep inside you don’t want him either. Jaehyun was the kind of man who will not stop even though your cunt is overflowing with his cum, he overstimulated you, he overstimulated himself. And just like that you both cum again, moaning as loud as you can because you perfectly knew no one can hear you.

That night, you’ve been fucked far too many times in ways you’ve never been fucked before. Every round was more intense than the last one, you never felt so thankful to whoever invented birth control pills because you’re damn sure than Jaehyun can get you pregnant.

You don’t know how, but you somehow passed out and you woke up clean and covered with Jaehyun’s thick duvet. He wasn’t beside you, so you forced yourself to go up and wear his black shirt as cover to your naked body and went outside his room. The house was so big that you don’t know where to start finding him, good thing you found him sitting on one of his couches facing the lit pool outside with a glass of wine on his hand. Body still exposed but he’s wearing a clean Calvin Klein boxers briefs now.

“Why are you sitting so far away from me, come sit on my lap” the invitation made you smile and you walked slowly towards him and sat on his lap as requested. “I'm sorry that I had to drag you into this mess. I’m too old to find someone that will love me genuinely, that’s why I find people who can satisfy my sexual needs”

See, you’re right. He’s lonely. And he got the idea of making you a target for his needs because he knew about you and Yuta being fuck buddies during that time on your birthday. “Oh, so that gave you an idea, huh” you smirk, and raked his hair away from his face.

“Yeah. I'm sorry”

“No don’t be. Clearly, I loved everything that happened tonight the moment I stepped right in”

“How about your man friend, Nakamoto. Will he be okay about you fucking other people? Older people?” he took a sip on his wine, leaning comfortably on his expensive couch giving you a perfect view of his hot body.

“You may be old but you fuck like a horny teenager. Yuta doesn’t need to know” the conversation is getting serious.

“Good because, what we have, what happened should stay between us. It will ruin my career, my job, my friendship with Johnny, my relationship with you”

Ouch. That hurt you. “So you’re my second fuck buddy now?” how can you even think that he likes you and that what just happened in his bed was not just because he’s lonely. How can you think that he longs for you, need you? You scoffed and tried to get out of his lap but he’s quick to grab you and put his hands on your thighs.

“No no, I didn’t mean it that way. We’re together. We’re together as we can be, but we can’t go public until we found a solution. Okay? Don’t frown, please. My heart can’t bear to see you sad or disappointed”

“Okay, I’m sorry I overreacted”

“Let's sleep?” you nod your head with a smile and just like that he left his glass of wine on the table near the couch and carried you back effortlessly in his room. You will never forget this moment that you two slept in one bed. Back against his chest, arms around your waist, the air that comes out from his nose hits your nape perfectly like a reminder that he’s close to you.

Days went on and on like this until it turned into weeks then months. Jaehyun didn’t feel lonely in his house big house anymore, and your life is complete now because you found love. He helped you designed your apartment but you never stayed there because you live in Jaehyun’s now with him.

You and Jaehyun go on to dates like a normal couple but with utmost caution. Spending beautiful nights under the stars, celebrating holidays together, going on vacation. You and Jaehyun plan a lot for the future, and it makes you happy because you have something to look forward to.

As you live with Jaehyun, you became the woman of the house who managed everything even the expenses. Everything was transparent between you and Jaehyun, ‘what’s mine is yours’ as he described it. It was like a trial to married life with Jaehyun, and you’re loving it so far. A perfect love story and no one is reckless enough so not a single soul suspects your relationship.

“My business partners are giving me a headache” he complains as soon he enters your shared room and kissed you. He smelled like car air freshener and he looked like he had a rough day.

You continue reading your book and reply to some of your clients through email on the side while you wait for Jaehyun to come to bed with you. Focused and unbothered, you didn’t feel him kiss your legs as he crawls on the bed shirtless and only wearing hid pajamas.

“Can we have sex? Make my day better please” he asks so sweetly in between kissing you on your neck, your book is long forgotten.

“Thought you were tired?” you caressed his flawless back, feeling his back muscles on your hand, he only shook his head and kissed you down until you reach the fluffy pillows. Swiftly he unbuttons your sleepwear, revealing your boobs that he soon attacked with kisses and love bites. You managed to get him naked and he managed to remove your thin shorts and underwear.

He checked your slit and you were a little dry, so he went down between your legs and spit on your cunt. Filthy but hot. Whenever you have sex with your boyfriend, his cock still stretches your cunt like he’s getting bigger and bigger each day. You never get used to is. You let out a soft ‘ouch’ and Jaehyun heard it, “Yes that’s right. Hurt for me baby”

“I’m not tight you’re fucking big Jae. You’re not even hard enough and yet-fuck!” he interrupted you with a piercing thrust mid-sentence. “Why do you always do that” you whine, he just smirked and continue fucking you wild.

Whenever Jaehyun is stressed like this the sex is always rough and wild, and you love it. He pulls away from kissing your swollen boobs and put a hand around your neck choking you well. His other hand is intertwined yours so whenever it’s too much you can always tell him to stop. But it was never too much for you. The overstimulation, yes. But his roughness, never. “Harder,” you request in between short breaths.

You smiled at him before you cum, eyes rolling back as usual. He pulls out slapped your cunt while you’re still sensitive and shivering, enjoying the view of his beloved girlfriend whimpering on the bed. “Why is fucking you one time is always not enough. We always have to go for a few more rounds. I’m so in love with you” He grabs both of your hands and put it around his neck, “Keep me close Y/n, I love you” he said before going inside you again to fuck you a little bit softer, gentler, and slower.

Having slow sex with Jaehyun is as good as having rough sex with him. “Does it still hurt? I’m sorry” but he still thrusts and puts his entire cock inside you making a bulge on your stomach.

“Fuck I forgot, pull out when you cum okay? I forgot to take my pill this week. Sorry” it was something that didn’t scare Jaehyun. Having kids with you is something he dreamed of happening and he’s ready for it.

“I want to have kids with you” he sounded serious but you’re not on the right mind right now to tell him your answer. You want it too, but you’re not yet ready. You still have so much to unlock in your life. If he pulls out, that will give you relief. But if he doesn't, well, you can just hope that you won’t get pregnant.

After a few thrust,

He pulled out.

What a relief.

That night, Jaehyun stayed in bed a little late just looking at your beautiful face under the nice moonlight shining through his window. He will ask you to marry him and live a normal life, he will face Johnny and handle the situation in his own hands. He will do everything in his power to give you a happy life without hiding from the people who will judge your relationship.

The next day, you woke him up with loving kisses just how he wants it. Jaehyun lived almost half of his life waking up alone in a cold bed, but now that you’re part of his life, he gets to enjoy waking up from your kisses and waking up with a dimpled smile.

“Good morning, you’re up early,” he said groggily but with a smile.

“See you tonight at the party? I have to leave early and take care of some stuff at the office”

He nods his head and forced himself to sit up and give a kiss. A little longer than you expected, but always sweeter than yesterday’s kiss. “I love you. Find me later okay?” you nod your head ‘yes’ and kissed some more.

The annual business party that your dad threw for his company is a big event for him, nonetheless, it’s not stressful just full of people wearing tuxedos, gentlemen with their wives, your dad’s business partners together with their secretaries.

Wearing a beautiful Valentino dress, you walk to the entrance with Yuta hoping that your boyfriend will not get mad because this was just a last-minute thing. Yuta came out of nowhere before you enter the party, and you didn’t want to shoo him away because it will hurt his feelings. After all, you two had a history.

Seated on the same table, you and Yuta, your father and mother, Jaehyun, and his date Yeri. As part of hiding, you and Jaehyun didn’t talk too much but he did tell you you’re beautiful in front of your father and complimented the necklace that you’re wearing which he gave you. Seeing Yeri near your boyfriend hurt you like you two just broken up. Like you and Yuta, Jaehyun and Yeri had a history because they’re ex-lovers.

“Come dance with me” Yuta being the music lover that he is dragged you into the dance floor and made you dance with him. You feel Jaehyun’s eyes follow you even though you were busy dancing under the upbeat music and having fun with Yuta on the dance floor together with the other guests.

Jaehyun on the other hand invited Johnny to smoke tobacco with him. Men with tobaccos stayed in a room where they can play poker peacefully and talk more about business. This is the perfect time Jaehyun thought. The perfect time to tell Johnny about his relationship with you. Seeing you with Yuta was like the push he has been waiting for and now, he’s going to do it.

“Johnny, I love your daughter” he blurted out, holding his tobacco with his right hand.

Johnny chuckled and shook his head in disbelief, “I know right. Crazy how she was just a little girl, felt like only yesterday. Can’t believe she’s running her own business right now and being successful” he smiled, taking a hit on his tobacco.

“That’s all true, but that’s not what I meant” the atmosphere was quiet even though Jaehyun and Johnny are away from the other men. “Were in love Johnny. We’ve been together for ten beautiful months now”

Johnny was speechless and he wanted to punch Jaehyun on the face right then and there, but this is his party. He can’t cause a scene. Johnny is a powerful man, he can ruin anyone and he’s well aware of that. So instead of causing a scene, he fixed his rings and told Jaehyun that, “You’re a well-established businessman Jaehyun. I think you don’t need me anymore as a partner and… best friend. Stay away from my daughter” he pats Jaehyun on the shoulder and made his way back to the party again to find you.

“Can I dance with my daughter, Yuta?” your father smiled at you and took you dancing. You saw Jaehyun sit beside Yeri, smiling so beautifully and making each other smile. “Oh look at my best friend, I’m happy they got back together” it was a lie that Johnny had to made up to ruin your relationship with Jaehyun and also his way to find out if Jaehyun is telling the truth.

Johnny saw the sadness in your eyes, that’s when he confirmed it. “How about you? Yuta looks like a fine man who’s been around. Give him a shot? After all, The Suh and Nakamoto company looks good merging” it was clear that he was suggesting you to marry Yuta someday because of business and you hate it. But you smile and joked nonetheless.

“Arranging me for marriage dad?”

“Psh. No. I’m just showing you a choice. Yuta is a good person, comes from a good family, and-“

“And I’m not in love with him” your dad knew he had to shut up.

You thought that the party will not stress you out and you will have a great time but the opposite happened. Now, you just hope that Jaehyun will turn everything around remove the stress away. But no. He was silent when you got home and didn’t welcome you with kisses that you oh so crave by this time. You went separately, of course, he was the first one who got home but he’s still wearing the same clothes he wore from the party when you found him in the living room drinking hard liquor.

The dress is beautiful, but you wanted to get out of it because it reminds you what your father just told you about marrying Yuta. Soon, Jaehyun joined you in your shared walk-in closet but he’s still silent.

“You didn’t tell me you were going with Yuta. Baby, I was hurt. I wanted to dance with you so bad but-“

“You should’ve danced with Yeri” you blurted out. “She was beautiful Jae, you just let her sit in the table all night. Did you even offered to take her home?”

“Why would I do that, we're together” he watches you unzip the beautiful dress and expose yourself in front of him with only the lingerie that you’re wearing. “Okay sorry I was overreacting” he leans on the door, shoulders crossed, and his bow tie is already undone. “But I told Johnny about us earlier”

You were speechless and disappointed, you scoffed and you can’t believe he did that. “Well you look disappointed” Jaehyun was hurt, he thought you would be happy that he finally had the guts to man up and tell your father the truth.

“I am! Because you decided all by yourself. You didn’t talk about this with me. No wonder my father was acting weird”

“What, do you want to hide forever Y/n? I’m doing this for us. Don't you want to get married and have kids someday?” by this time both of your tones towards each other were a little higher than usual.

“I know your intentions Jae, but it's not yet the right time. I want to have a family and kids with you but not now. I’m just starting to build my life. Come on Jae, you sound like you’re proposing to me now“ you still sound disappointed.

He thought that getting married will make you happy, but now it’s clear to him that he’s wrong. “Maybe I am”

“Well, then I have to say no for now” that was like a bullet straight to his heart. It was like saying ‘Jaehyun, I can’t marry you because you’re too old. Wait for me to get older, then we’ll talk about marriage’ He ignored what you said.

“Wha did johnny told you?” his eyes were cold, there’s no sign of spark in it.

“He said you were back with, Yeri” you were removing your makeup at the bathroom with only your robe covering your naked body.

“That’s bullshit, my own best friend” Jaehyun sounded irritated you can here drawers closing loudly because clearly, he’s not happy that Johnny bad mouthed him in front of you.

“I know its not true, Jae. He was just saying that because he’s concerned and I don’t know, protecting me?”

“Huh? Protecting you from what Y/n? Were together for almost a year now tell me, am I treating you bad? Can you say that you’re in bad hands?” it was not a question. You knew so you didn’t answer.

This is your first fight with Jaehyun and this is the first night that you shared the bed without facing each other. Tonight he lost his best friend, and he can't afford to lose you too. But he was stern. He still wants to make your relationship public and be engaged soon. He not forcing it but you know he wants it real bad.

If last night you fought for the first time, this morning Jaehyun didn’t feel your kisses woke him up for the first time since you two were together. That simple gesture makes Jaehyun happy first thing in the morning and now that you didn’t do it for the first time, it felt like you’re going to leave him soon.

The same argument went on for days, even you don’t know how to fix this problem but still, life goes on. Jaehyun tried having makeup sex with you but you just let him fuck you and it never fixes things. He was so desperate and he was trying so hard to bring back everything but it was not easy. All he ever wanted was to make you stay in his life. But looks like the relationship is ruined.

Finally, he realized a sad truth. Sooner or later he has to let go of you even though he loves you wholeheartedly. When Jaehyun first mentioned the breakup you were furious and mad, “I’m like this Jaehyun because I don’t know how to fix it but I never wanted to break up! But you! How dare you to even make it an option!” of course you didn’t want to break up with the man you love, being not on the same page for now in the relationship is not enough reason to just throw everything away.

“I can’t give you the life that you want Y/n, we continuously hurt each other every day I can’t hurt you furthermore. We can’t be together anymore” he was so calm and you can’t understand how does he do that.

The perfect love story you thought is now ending with tragedy. How can loving Jaehyun become so wrong? But he was right, sooner or later reality will slap you hard and the truth will not be on your side. Loving Jaehyun was something you will never regret doing, but it was wrong because he was your father’s best friend, you two can’t seem to find your way back to each other now.

As you finally agreed to the breakup, moving out of Jaehyun’s house was a fucking torture. You see to it that you get all your stuff during his working hours so he could enjoy the heartbreak that he singlehandedly decided for the both of you. It was a great relationship that deserved a peaceful breakup.

Jaehyun went home on an empty house and it broke his heart to million pieces. Pictures of you and him scattered around the house and letting go of you is life-changing for him in a bad way. Together with the happy memories that you left in his house is the necklace that he gave and every cute note he gave to you whenever he needed to leave the house before you can even wake up. It’s as if you wanted everything to stay in his house, keep everything hidden like it always has, like you and Jaehyun never happened in the first place.

Jaehyun married Yeri a year after your breakup and the news broke you. Deep inside you were still clinging to the chance of getting back with Jaehyun and turn everything around but you’re wrong. No one knew about your relationship except Johnny. That’s good. You don’t need to explain yourself to people.

As years went by, you decided to build your life with Yuta and love him fiercely without worries, without hiding, you told him about Jaehyun and he didn’t judge you not even a bit. The wedding made the news of two companies merging, and the whole country celebrated.

Years after your wedding, you were at the record store buying lullabies for babies so you can listen to it and hope that your daughter can hear it. You’re seven months pregnant with Yuta’s baby and you’re excited to be a mother.

“Y/n?” a familiar voice called your name and you’re too scared to turn your back and face him but you don’t have a choice.

And you’re right. You haven’t seen him since the breakup and he was like a ghost to you now. He hasn’t changed a bit. After four years, you’re now in front of Jung Jaehyun with a baby on your belly and a wedding ring on your finger.

#nct-writers #nct smut #nct angst #nct jung jaehyun smut #jaehyun smut #nct x reader #jaehyun angst #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct 127 smut #jaehyun x reader smut

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dingdonghyvck · 3 years

Text

The Only Exception || Lee Haechan x Reader

Summary: You finally realize that Haechan’s the only exception to the one rule you gave yourself.

Genre: Angst and a little bit of Fluff

Pairing/s: Drummer!Haechan x Lead Vocalist!Reader, Minor College Student!Mark x Reader

Warnings: Explicit content, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, implications of sex, sex jokes, use of drugs, cigarettes and alcohol, verbal and physical abuse, divorce, and a few others I probably forgot to mention

Word Count: 5.4k words

So this is part two of the Drummer!Haechan AU I wrote: Still Into You

Please do give feedback, it’s greatly appreciated! Thank you and enjoy :)

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind.

He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.

And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget”

It all started with hushed arguments, hidden whispers of disappointment behind closed doors, afraid of breaking the perfect image your family had, afraid of the neighbors to talk. From hushed arguments to daily endeavors of avoiding each other everyday, it was like a ticking bomb inside your home. A ticking bomb you had tip-toed over each morning past your parents' bedroom, hearing the muffled crying. You knew it was only a matter of time before the bomb would finally explode, imploding your house from inside-out.

You hoped and you prayed to any god willing to listen that the rumors were not true. The neighbors started talking and the news had somehow got out. And that was when everything started breaking down. The hushed arguments turned to wars of screaming and crying, sharp words that cut through you like a knife. That was when the walls of your home began to talk, they spoke to you too, they echoed the hatred your parents had for each other. They made you feel unwanted, unloved and useless, since of course the sole foundation of your life was crumbling. You were the scars, bruises, and pain they brought into the world, you were once proof of their love that turned into a ghost wandering the halls, desperately clawing against the wallpaper to make it all stop.

It didn't end with words, it seemed as if words weren't hurtful enough. You were caught in the crossfire, desperately trying to raise the white flag between the two, but you ended up becoming their stress ball. They would sometimes drown you, lock you up in the basement or straight up hit you. They kept squeezing you and throwing you around like a stress ball bound to burst, the people at school began noticing the bruises and cuts. In the end they left you alone, vacant and ignored since you began bringing your friends over your house.

And for the first time in a while you felt safe, you felt safe in Jeno's comforting smile when he tried to teach you guitar. You felt safe with Hendery's little pranks and teasing during practices. You felt safe in Donghyuck's presence whenever you two would head out after band practice, in his car with no particular destination in mind. The nights were long, but somehow it always ended too quickly for you. You wished you could stay for an eternity inside Donghyuck's car, it was a place where you didn't bother to be someone else except yourself.

It was a space where you weren't either the whore's daughter or the useless excuse of a student. You were just authentically you and Donghyuck openly accepted you, he didn't say it but you knew he did. He didn't talk whenever you didn't feel like it, he opened the car window when you wanted to watch the stoplights and streetlight wiz by. That's what made those nights perfect, it was Donghyuck's soft humming along the mediocre pop song on the radio. His weirdly specific defensive monologue whenever you brought up his tacky lavender car scent. Donghyuck's presence in general as he would sometimes just hold your hand while you thought to yourself.

One of those nights where you thought to yourself that life should always be like this, you didn't know how, but you knew that Donghyuck has to be apart of it. You decided that the world may go to shit, your parents may end up getting a divorce, you may end up living the rest of your life as a deadbeat. But you no longer cared as long as you had this place, in a worn out car seat next to him; well that was what you thought at least.

"And that was the day that I promised,

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist"

Donghyuck's sudden departure from the band shocked both Jeno and Hendery, they took it considerably well in all honesty. They still wanted to continue on with the band, partly because they needed the money from the gigs and mostly because they worried for you as a friend. You tried your best in trying to continue with your life and look for another drummer, for another Donghyuck in your life. As silly as it sounded since you were the one that pushed him away, you would think of him most days. You were only realizing how important Donghyuck was in your life.

He was always the one who took care of you, reminded you to eat and rest whenever you forgot. He would show up at your dorm to bring you breakfast or make you coffee, remind you that some of the books you borrowed from the library was due tomorrow, or even just chat you to check on how your day was going. Now that you had changed your number and avoided him like a plague you were starting to realize how much you lost.

And you had thought of calling him, or maybe reaching out to ask how his day was going, the same way he used to check on you. You were so tempted that you showed up at his place, a second away from buzzing his doorbell, but you remembered. You remembered how awful you were to him, you were reminded of the pain and misery you've caused him all through out your lives so far. You were being selfish yet again, so you stopped yourself. You immediately turned around that day and called up Hendery and Jeno to tell them that the band was over, you didn't have the guts to face them anymore.

The guilt was eating you alive, they had tried to convince you otherwise but you pushed them away too. The only person who you kept in your life was Mark. You still felt happy to be around him, although you didn't feel comfortable since you felt like you had to keep a facade around him. He seemed glad to see you more often, you'd cling onto him like a flee for days. But there came a time when he finally asked why you were so vacant these days, and where were your other friends; it was an argument caused by Mark's growing irritation for being required to see you everyday and almost having to babysit you like child, all the while trying to keep up with other activities going on his life. You had left him without a single word and returned the next day like nothing happened.

He genuinely did like you, he wished things were different but he couldn't handle the nonstop texts and calls that came from you every minute of the hour, he was beginning to get sick of it. And you immediately notice his distaste, the way he would dryly reply to your messages or not talk to you whenever he did have time to see you. You knew you were becoming a bit too much for him, desperate for company that you became too overbearing, a bit too possessive and selfish when it came to his time.

And for the first time, you felt it. You felt how your heart sunk everytime Mark chose to answer a call from a friend when you were talking to him, the way he would look anywhere else but you whenever you tried to start conversations. You were usually on the other end of the stick, careless of other people’s emotions and too busy living in your own world. You finally knew what it felt when Donghyuck dated you, and what horrible thoughts that came with it. In the end, you knew that Mark was too kind to end it with you, he obviously knew you were having issues in your personal life, but he couldn't be bothered anymore; he's tried talking to you about it, but you'd always change the topic.

So you told yourself that it was better if you would be alone for now, this is the tenfold of misery and hurt you've caused everyone around you, especially Donghyuck, your world was falling apart as more and more people left. You eventually ended things with Mark, and he gave you a simple okay and left. He didn't seem to notice you anymore, he continued to live his university life unscathed, it was as if you two never spoke in the first place.

He would sometimes smile at you or give you a small nod of his head whenever you saw each other around campus, but that was the most you've gotten from him. You didn't blame him, he didn't have time to waste with people like you. Being alone with your thoughts truly was eating you alive, you were beginning to go insane. Everytime you were about to reach out to anyone, either Jeno, Hendery, or Donghyuck, you'd always stop yourself to remind you that you deserved this.

You deserved to be alone, you cannot be loved. You were a heartless monster just as Donghyuck said and you lived most of your days alone while trying to survive with the little funds your new part time provided. You didn't know how, but you somehow lived as days went by. You watched the leaves and flowers bloom from the branches outside of your dorm till they wilted. It was now winter, and you freely wandered the streets. No other human could be seen outside, everyone was probably spending time with loved ones, since of course it was the holidays.

Days you should be spending with the people you cherish and loved the most, you could see the warm lights from within some of the homes, laughter resonates through the walls, probably the lovers and families enjoying their own company. Playing dumb board games and cuddled up by the fire, watching the grinch movies with eggnog and warm cups of hot choco. You never really understood the joys of the holidays, probably because the only other person you had spent it was with Donghyuck, and there you go thinking of him again.

As if thinking of him in everything you do wasn't enough, he began appearing in your dreams. You didn't know if it was pleasant to revisit old memories or did it hurt to reminisce what was lost between you two. And as much as it hurt you chose to remember him as someone you loved, perhaps not romantically, but he was someone you truly cherished. You thought that he'd comment on how cheesy you've become, so melodramatic that you'd give William Shakespear a run for his money when he's already in his grave.

You bitterly laugh at the thought, the cold makes your throat dry and eyes watery but you look up to the moon while standing next to a lamp post near the frozen river. You could almost feel his presence, you truly were going insane that you started imagining things he'd say to you at times like this. The snarky comments and cute pet names he'd give you whenever you dragged him along for whatever adventure you had in mind. You remembered how he'd first complain about it to no end, but he always ends up coming with you. He always does, of course, he's Donghyuck, the person who stuck with you through thick and thin; the person you've hurt the most.

You begin humming a small tune, you didn't recognize it at first, but you ended up humming a paramore song. The song you both listened to during class the first day you two met, the same song that you sang here, with tears streaming down you cheeks. You didn't know you were crying until you felt the cold gust of wind brushing against your cheeks, a chill running down your spine as you sniffled.

"I hope you're happy now Hyuck, wherever you are," it felt weird to speak, you couldn't remember the last time you opened your mouth to say anything. it's been months since you've last said a word to anyone, you throat was dry and you could barely recognize your own voice, it was raspier than you last remembered.

"I'm happy enough to know we're looking at the same moon tonight at least." you laughed, your throat hurts like hell, the laugh came as a croak and you tried to gasp in air to try and stop yourself from breaking down.

It felt weird to listen to your own voice, everything felt unreal. These past few months were like a fever dream to you, you even wondered if you were dead and this was some cruel purgatory you served for the shit you pulled back then. You've thought about jumping into the frozen river, maybe the cold would at least wake you up if this was truly some cruel nightmare. If not it could also finally end all the suffering and pain you know you caused yourself, what hurt most was you cannot blame anyone else for what is happening now. You shakily let out a breath, hands gripping the metal railing. You were about to jump over it when the street's fairy lights were suddenly turned on and it reflected off the thin layer of ice of the lake.

You wake up from your daze, what the hell were you thinking? The pretty lights distracted you for a moment, you pace your breathing with the consistent flicker of the warm glow of the tiny lights, trying to calm down.

"And I've always lived like this,

keeping a comfortable distance"

senior year, prom.

You bit your lip while watching the fairy lights flicker, whose idea was it to have tiny light bulbs as decoration for the photo booth, and god you wanted to give them a kiss now. It was such a hazard that you couldn't stop thinking of the endless possible drama it could cause, the prom queen could end up stepping on it and light her dress on fire, that would at least make the night interesting. You blew the tiny patch of fake snow off the table while you grumpily waited for someone, anyone, to step on one of the fairy lights, but you were dragged out of your reverie when you hear Donghyuck's voice behind you.

"Hey ugly,"

"Hey stupid," you replied, eyes shifting away from the photo booth for a second to look at him. He stuck out like a sore thumb, he wasn't wearing a tuxedo like the rest, or even a tie to at least try and be formal. He was sporting his favorite leather jacket with a green untucked button up underneath, he looked underdressed, the only effort he made to his appearance was the way he styled his hair to showcase his forehead.

"That's not a nice way to speak to your boyfriend" Donghyuck faked a gasp, dragging a chair to sit down beside you, you raised an eyebrow at him. The stupid crease on his jacket annoyed you to no end, so you fixed it for him, it was his turn to raise an eyebrow at you.

"Boyfriend? I thought boyfriends put in extra efforts for prom? You know like in the movies, they give the girl a cute corsage and tell them how pretty they look and end up fucking in the bathroom or something?"

"You're beautiful." He says it blatantly, you stop to look him in the eyes, and it seemed genuine. You pursed your lips while trying to hide your smile, boyfriend Donghyuck was different from best friend Donghyuck, he was a lot... sweeter.

"Let's fuck in the bathroom later?" he added, to which you groaned and slapped his thigh. He only laughed at you while gently fitting his hand into yours, gently kissing your knuckles when you swore you were gonna bite his dick someday, just he wait.

Well you'll give him credit, he at least made an effort to look nice for you. You didn't even bother to blow dry your hair today and you were wearing what you'd usually wear whenever you went out with him, just with a bit more grunge added, like black fishnet stockings. He wasn't complaining at all, he knew that whatever you were wearing tonight would end up ripped anyway, probably somewhere on his bedroom floor. And plus, you two didn't really attend prom, the only reason you bothered to this year was for the battle of the bands.

You were already done with the performance so you were all simply waiting for the announcement of the winner. You knew Jeno was probably out on the dance floor dancing with his date in a proper suit and tie like a gentleman, but you had no idea where Hendery went. One second he said he was going to get you a drink, the next he's disappeared before you into thin air. So you were left with Donghyuck, who was currently playing with your rings. As weird as it felt to have a label between you two, nothing's changed. You thought that you'd feel more awkward towards him, but the only thing that changed was the label, and you were happy in a way.

"Wanna dance?"

You perk up at his question, you finally realize that a slow song was playing. Everyone was paired off in front of you, even some of the teachers were dancing. You almost let out a laugh at the sight of some of couples who were trying their best to keep it in their pants. You thought he was joking until you looked over at him, he was shyly fiddling with his own hands now, not able to look you in the eyes. You would laugh if it weren't for the way he seemed so shy to ask, he looked like he was about to combust.

"I don't dance," you laughed, he looks up at you. You didn't know it was possible but he looked much more embarrassed now, it was cute it in a way.

"Let's get out of here?"

"Now that's more like it" you smirk, taking his hand to lead him outside of the gymnasium and to his car. He didn't bother to fight it, he just simply let you drag him out to the parking lot.

He opens the car door for you and you played along, deciding to not tease him just this once since, of course, he was already red enough. He turns on the engine and you switch through different channels on the radio, finally settling on one when he pulls out of the driveway.

“And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.”

The song on the radio hummed in the background as he drove as carefully as he could, the roads were iced and it wasn't very safe to drive right now. He was about to take the turn to his house but you stop him and told him to bring you to the center of town, he was unsure why the sudden request, but he follows your directions anyway. For the moment, you stared at his face. The way the streetlights lit up his skin, you rarely saw his forehead and it did make him look attractive. Well he was already attractive in the first place but you couldn’t help but observe the way he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel to the song’s beat, it looked instinctive and natural to him.

"So are you finally going to murder me and take my intestines to sell on the black market?" he spoke, and you laughed, throwing your head back; he was finally starting to look handsome to you, and he opens that damned mouth of his.

"Kidneys my darling! Your kidneys will be worth a fortune!" you giggled while leaning over the center console to kiss his cheek, he smiled at the sound of your laughter.

He takes you exactly where you asked him, the center of the town. The exact intersection that’s considered as the heart of your buzzing neighborhood. The exact intersection that usually had so many cars, always the cause of traffic and delay, was now completely empty. All the stores near the intersect were closed, no other person in sight but the stoplights continued to operate. The colors red, yellow, and green appearing in an ordered sequence, proportionally timed. Although there wasn't a single car in sight, Donghyuck stopped when the light turned red.

"What are you waiting for?" you asked in confusion, he shrugs.

"Can you tell me why we're here?"

You didn't bother to speak, you simply got out of the car and stood at the center of the intersection. You opened your arms up to him and he watched you curiously, you let out a boisterous laugh, spinning around your heel. You forgot that the road was slippery so you fell flat on your back, still laughing. Donghyuck runs out of his car to kneel beside you, he had a worried look to him but it immediately faded away when you looked at him with joy in your eyes.

He scoffed, not forgetting to comment on how stupid you looked before offering his hand to help you stand up. You take his hand but instead of sitting up, you pull him towards you and he slips, ending up toppled over you. His breathing was uneven as it brushed cooly against your cheek, you close your eyes at the feeling. He gently kissed your cheek after a minute, finally standing up to brush himself off. You were still lying down on the ground, flailing your arms around to try and form a snow angel.

"Are you dumb? Get up before we get run over" Donghyuck tried to sound angry, but he couldn't stop the lilt in his voice, a tiny chuckles escapes his mouth.

"Shut up already and just lie down! Why do you always ruin the moment?” you whined looking up at him, still spread eagle at the center of the intersect, he raised an eyebrow at you, it was becoming a habit to him.

“Don’t you feel it too? The world’s stopped, they’ve finally shut up! So enjoy it and come lie down with me.”

“And if we get run over?”

“Then so be it” You shrugged, Donghyuck lets out a heavy sigh before taking his seat beside you. He doesn’t lie down, so you sit up to lean against his shoulder.

And the world stops, like what you said. For a moment the only thing you two could hear was the sound of your breathing and the beating of your hearts, he held your hand in his while you both watched the stoplight change colors. It felt like you two were the only people on earth, and it was the best. There was nothing but the moon, your thoughts, the stoplight, and him. And as peaceful as it was you couldn’t stop the thought from spilling from your mouth.

“Someday I’ll burn this town to the ground” you comment, and he snorts.

“Gee, it sure sounds like a solid plan” he says it sarcastically, and you turn to look at him.

“I’m serious! You better not get in my way or anything or else I’ll have to set you on fire” you say it with the most serious tone that he’s taken aback, well that was one weird thought he thought.

His face makes you laugh and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh with you. He shook his head when he realized you were joking, probably. You felt content and happy that you decided to grant him one wish. He once again has the confused face he had earlier, just when he was finally settled you suddenly move. He tries to stand up to follow you, but you told him that you’ll be back.

He watched you open the driver’s side of the car, he thought you were about to drive away and leave him here but he was abruptly stopped mid-thought when the speakers of the radio of his car boomed throughout the empty streets. His eyes widened, he was worried that it might wake the whole street up. Then he remembered that the residential homes were located near the outskirts of town, so it was unlikely that anyone would hear. Most of this area had shops and stores, so the people are probably back at home, you both aren’t technically disturbing anyone hopefully. He relaxes back into his seat to watch you waltz back towards him.

“So?” you asked, the smile on your face was infectious.

“So?” he mimicked dumbly and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, was he always this dumb?

“May I have this dance?” you groaned, turning red yourself. You blamed it on the cold, but he couldn’t help but laugh at you. At first it sounded like he was mocking you, but when you met his eyes to smack him on the head you were only met with eyes filled with so much endearment and affection that you could only pull back your hand.

He takes your hand to stand up, you complain of course, he was heavy. But he hushed you when he placed his fingers to your chapped lips, he smiled so widely that it looked like it hurt. You pursed your lips, wrapping your arms around his neck and he securely holds your waist. Although the atmosphere was supposed to be romantic, your terrible sense of rhythm in dancing ruined it. You would think that you’d be good at following the rhythm when dancing being a couple of musicians, but you both always missed a beat by a second. And he could only laugh while you cursed, finally remembering why you never danced.

You were muttering something under you breath, but your voice hitched when he brushes his fingers against your hair. He placed a sweet kiss to your temple and you freeze, you felt your heart clench at the action. He begins whispering the lyrics to your ear, you swallow thickly. This was one of the rare times he’d sing to you, you tried to tell him countless times that his voice was beautiful, but he had always denied saying yours was better. But hearing him now, whispering softly against your ear while he nuzzled his nose to your neck affectionately made your heart throb. You take in a deep breath, this feeling in your chest, it was your heart clenching. You didn’t know if he was hurting you but you were so overwhelmed that you suddenly pushed him away.

“Did I do something wrong?” his eyes spoke, trying to reach out to you again but you take another step backward.

“This was a stupid idea” You were shocked to hear your voice crack, Donghyuck frowns at your comment.

“What do you mean?”

“Take me home.... now.”

He tried to take a step towards you but you run back towards his car, closing the door to wait for him. You lower the volume of the radio and try to gather your thoughts, what the fuck was that? You watched him walk back towards the car and swore to yourself, whatever the hell you felt earlier, whatever he did to you, he will never be able to do again. It was too much of a risk, and you swore to yourself to never let yourself be that vulnerable again.

He tries to talk to you on the way home, but your replies were dry. You were busy fiddling with your fingers while looking outside the window. He tried his best to make you tell him what he did wrong but he couldn’t get another word out from you the moment he pulled up in front of your house. You were about to leave but you decided to try and turn things around, you tried to get back to what you two were used to.

You kissed him, hauling yourself over the center console to sit on his lap. He tries to pull away but you continued to kiss, hastily lifting his shirt to try and remove it. In the end he was weak to your touch, he could never deny you of anything. He hoped that you two could talk it out in the morning but you were unavailable the next few weeks after that, busy fooling around with Johnny.

“I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.

I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up, leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream”

Present day.

The next day you decided to visit your home town. Although you didn’t have any family left to visit, you had volunteered to play at an orphanage, it was the least you could do for the holidays. If you couldn’t be happy, you could at least make others feel it. Who knew that Jeno’s stupid guitar lessons would end up becoming an asset to you, you could at least spread a little joy to the children who didn’t have parents, you somehow understood how they felt, in a weird way.

It was a joy to finally sing with a purpose again, hearing them laugh and sing along with you made your heart sore. Well at least you didn’t feel as useless after playing with a few of the kids and chatting with the caretakers and other volunteers. It felt freeing, to finally do something right. You fucked up this year for the most of it but you felt a bit less burdened when the children asked you to braid their hair or took your hand to dance with them. After serving your purpose at the orphanage you find yourself at the intersection. You don’t know what you wanted to accomplish, but your feet ended up taking you here.

And as expected it was filled with bustling life, people going in and out of shops to buy late christmas presents, children building snowmen and riding the tiny slopes made by the snow. The traffic as usual was heavy, the cars were honking and the streets were so noisy that no one could bearly hear themselves think. You sat by a bench near the park, the intersect still in your sight. You were eating a bagel mindlessly when a little kid sat beside you, he was eyeing your guitar.

“You play?” the little kid asked and you nodded, giving him a small smile to not scare him away, you probably looked like a walking corpse; you can’t remember the last time you slept properly.

“A little bit, like five songs?” you smiled and he instantly asks you to play, there was this urgency in his voice that you couldn’t help but immediately do what he was asking.

You bite into the bagel while tuning your guitar, thinking of a song to play, well out of the five you knew how to play. You began strumming the guitar to Paramore’s The Only Exception, humming the tune as best as you could with the bagel in your mouth. You end your humming after the first chorus to be met with a grimace, the little kid laughed at you.

“You’re no good”

“Hey!” you take out the bagel from your mouth to yell jokingly at him, he scrunches his nose up when you ruffle his hair and you laugh at his annoyed face, he somehow looked familiar, was he one of the kids from the orphanage? Wait were they even allowed to leave the orphanage?

“So what’s your name?” You ask, putting the guitar back into its case. The voice that meets your ears wasn’t the little boy’s, it was a voice you haven’t heard in a long time, a voice you thought you’d never hear again.

“Dongsuk,”

This has to be a dream, it couldn’t be real. You blink a few times before pinching yourself, you were probably hallucinating. Because there is no way, not a chance the Lee Donghyuck was now standing in front of you. That shit only happens in movies, this can’t be real. But you could only rub your eyes so much, he looked real, like real enough that he was getting closer to you. And he finally speaks, and you finally realize it really is him in the flesh.

“Where have you been?” he speaks, you first thought that he was talking to you but he grabs the little boy’s arm. He glances at you and you try to speak and he simply turns his nose away from you, you feel your world crack in half.

To his defense you were the one who moved dorms, changed your number, and avoided him like a plague. So his reaction was expected, you don’t know why you were so surprised. He was about to walk away when you finally speak, he stops cold in his steps when he hears your voice.

“Donghyuck...” He turns to look at you, and his eyes were still the same. It still had the same hurt and sadness you’d usually see when he looked at you, but he looked much more angrier than you remembered.

“Let’s... talk”

“You are the only exception, oh and I'm on my way to believing.”

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nyxdelanuit · 4 years

Text

Watch Me (Kyoutani x F!Reader)

Hey guys!! Here’s my addition to the Haikyuu Headquarter’s NSFW Collab,which can be found here! This one’s prompt was mirror sex! I hope you all enjoy <3

Banner made by @guessmqnster

WARNINGS: Rough sex, overuse of princess and good girl, mirror sex (obvs), teasing, general NSFW stuff

You knew that you shouldn't play this game anymore. You weren't eighteen anymore, you were an actual adult now, with bills and a job. You should have real hobbies, like reading or crochet or something, not teasing your friend from high school. It had started out a harmless joke, something to boost your ego whenever you saw the unusually angry boy from the volleyball team staring at you. The more he stared, the bolder you got. He didn't seem to enjoy it much, more tolerating your presence than anything else, but the gossiping of the volleyball club let you know that was about as close as they've ever seen anyone with Kyoutani.

Suddenly it seemed like you had the Mad Dog on a leash. He never snapped at you, always kept his eyes on you. Oikawa had made it a habit of calling you when he was getting out of hand, and just the presence of you in the room would bring the faintest of blushes to his cheek. He would sulk over to you and sit, hiding the redness in his face as you made yourself comfortable next to him. You would giggle, leaving teasing touches and let his eyes wander.

That was fine for high school, you guessed. But now? Now it seemed a little childish to keep up the game. Over the years, you had become the most stable friend Kyoutani had, and your favorite pastime was seeing what reactions you could drag out of him. He had gotten used to some of your older tricks, but you were just as stubborn as he was. You almost felt guilty for letting it get so far.

Yet you still found yourself dressed too scantily for the weather, slipping into some run-down club. Kyoutani had the money to spend at a nicer place, but he seemed drawn to places like this, where no one would question the scowl on his face or bother him too much. Except you. You stalked up to him like it was your nature, throwing your arms around his neck. To his credit, he never touched you first. Your arms around his neck meant he let himself fold an arm around your waist.

“You’re late.” He groused, trying to keep his attention on his drink.

“Sorry, Kyou, it took me a little longer than expected to get ready.” You let your breath fall heavily on his neck, the way you knew would send a shiver down his spine. It was true, you had found Kyoutani’s weakness for cute things shortly after graduation, and slowly your wardrobe started becoming consumed by pastels. You had wasted too much time in front of your mirror before you left, making your eyes seem bigger with white liner and perfecting your twin pigtails. It would never meet the shock and surprise the first time you had dressed up elicited, but the memories of Kyoutani’s red face eagerly drinking in your appearance kept you going.

Even with all of his restraint, Kyoutani couldn’t help but look you over the second you removed yourself from his side, wandering to the bar for a drink. He wouldn’t let you pay, of course. Just another thing you had gotten used to when you started hanging out with him. With a drink in hand, you wandered over to the jukebox in the corner, shelling out change to pick out a few songs. You’d never really enjoy these bars, but you’d take what you could get here.

Queuing up the few songs you enjoyed at this bar, you went back to Kyoutani's side. You passed the time sipping at your drink and leaning against Kyoutani, enjoying how his eyes kept falling to you until the first song you chose came on. You squealed, hugging his arm to your chest.

"I love this song!" You set your drink down on the nearest table, returning to wrap your arms around his neck and swaying to the song. He kept his hands to himself, as he usually did, merely watching you. Yet when you let your hands drop, dragging down his chest before spinning, pressing your back to his chest, his hands flew to your waist. That was new, his grip wasn't as rough as you imagined, leaving you the choice to step out of his grasp. You didn't, of course. Instead, you continued swaying your hips to the beat, his heavy breaths against your neck, the only clue that he was affected by your teasing.

The end of the song was drawing near, so you spun in his grasp, wanting to see the blush overtake his face as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He looked so much softer like this, the scowl wiped from his face, eyes wide open and staring, the littering of red across his face. There was barely a breath between you two.

It seemed as if the game had changed. You had finally tagged him, and now it was his turn to chase. Yet all he did was hold you close by your hips, pulling out his phone and pressing the trilling device to his ear.

"I'm calling about my standing reservation. Make sure it's ready for tonight. I'm on my way now." His voice was low in a way you hadn't heard. You've heard him angry, excited, happy even, but not the low growl he currently voiced. It sent a sweet shiver down your spine, dazing you enough to not notice how he was dragging you out of the bar and into his car. By the time your breath regained its rhythm, and your head stopped swimming with daydreams of Kyoutani, he was already in the driver's seat, speeding down the late-night streets. His hand was clutched around the gear shift, but with a glance, it strayed to your knee. Your breath hitched as you watched it slowly climb up your thigh, resting just under the suddenly too-cute skirt you had picked out for tonight. Only a little further, and Kyoutani would be able to feel the way you were soaking through your underwear already.

He seemed to notice your hesitation, keeping his hand in place and rubbing circles with his heavily calloused thumb, the sensation against your inner thigh causing you to hold back sweet sighs.

"Where are we going, Kyou?" He smirked, a look you decided was handsome on him.

“A hotel.”

“Wait, you have a standing reservation at a hotel? I’m not going if this is where you take all your hook-ups.” You pouted, trying to stand resolve against his tempting touch.

"No, I've had it on reserve for when you came around." If you thought you were flustered earlier, you were utterly embarrassed now. His eyes strayed to you as he waited for a light to change, watching the heat spread across your face. "So fucking cute." He groaned, speeding a little more than necessary as the light changed.

The world sped by as you thought of the implications of his words. For the first time in years, you thought you may have underestimated Kyoutani. He always seemed so flustered and embarrassed at your actions, but he was just waiting for you to make a move? It did seem more true to his personality, but you were still surprised at the restraint he showed, wondering why he held back at all. You hadn't been subtle with your teasing.

He had pulled up to a hotel, tossing his keys to the valet and ushering you in with a hand planted firmly on the small of your back. The concierge smiled as you walked in, almost smirking as Kyoutani stalked to the counter. “Finally making use of your reservation?” Kyoutani only scowled, grabbing the key from his hand.

“Kyou… how long have you had this room reserved?” You asked timidly as he led you through the halls.

"A year or two." He shrugged, quickly finding the room and unlocking the door, slamming it shut as soon as he entered. He flipped the deadbolt and placed the chain, wanting to remain undisturbed. When he turned back to you, the hunger in his eyes made you freeze in place, eyes locked on his as he slowly made his way to you. "Tell me if you want me to stop." You nodded, but he took your chin in between his fingers, bringing your lips to his. "I need to hear your words, princess."

“Y-yes, Kyou, I’ll tell you if I want you to stop.” He places an all-too gentle kiss to your lips, pulling away with a wicked smile.

"Good girl." The words send a shiver of arousal straight to your core. When he turns you around to lead you further into the room, you finally get a good look. There were mirrors everywhere. An entire wall is mirrored, showing every part of the room. Movement above you causes you to glance up, seeing the mirrored ceiling. He must have picked this room for a reason, and you thought you might have started understanding why.

He pushed you to sit on the bed, sliding behind you. Your legs dangled off the bed, body facing the intimidating mirror in front of you. His arms circled your waist, barely ghosting against your skin through the fabric.

"You made me watch you for years while you teased and taunted me." His hands trailed down your hips, skimming over your thighs. The warmth of his hands so close to your core made you fall against his shoulder with a shaky sigh. "So now you're going to watch me wreck you." His voice no more than a growl in your ear.

To your displeasure, he pulled his hands away, and you watched in the mirror as they slipped up your shirt. He lingered for a moment, fingers dancing under the band of your bra.

"Such a good girl, listening to me already. Too bad I still have to punish you for teasing me for so long." He pulls your shirt over your head with ease. His calmness set your nerves on edge, wishing he would just hurry up, but the fingers trailing down your back to unhook your bra stopped the words from leaving your mouth. The fabric was barely pulled from your body before his hands covered your chest. You could feel the way he tensed against your back, your nipples pebbling against his palms.

He allowed himself a few tentative grasps at your breasts before one of his hands fell, the pressure more confident on your skin as he roamed your stomach. Now that he was sure you wouldn’t push him away, his hand returned to your thigh. You could see the blush growing on your face as your legs fell open from him, and you let your head fall back to his shoulder, eyes closed.

He flipped your skirt up, “Now, princess, you were being such a good girl. Don’t look away now.” The barely restrained lust in his voice made you squirm against his hold, but you did as he asked. It was embarrassing, seeing the growing moisture on your panties as his hand slowly crept closer, but when your eyes drifted to Kyoutani’s face, all you could see was the unrestrained excitement in the tense way he clenched his jaw.

The suspense made every movement he made send electricity through your veins, you couldn't tear your eyes away as his fingers caressed against your clothed core, teasing strokes against the wetness he found there. You bit your lip to contain the noises that threatened to bubble up, sighing as Kyoutani took your nipple between two fingers, lightly rolling it as he stared at your face in the mirror. All this attention was overwhelming, and when Kyoutani peeled the fabric away just enough to dip a finger into your dripping slit, you couldn't hold back anymore. You barely registered the moan that fell from your lips as your voice, and it only worsened as Kyoutani pinched your nipple between his calloused fingers, moving to apply the same attention to the other.

He looked crazed now, and you were unable to look away. His eyes burned as they stared at your dripping core in the mirror, shoving two fingers in roughly and pistoning them at a fast pace, taking you off guard. It seemed like your moan finally eroded whatever control he had. You could feel your legs shake as he urged them further apart with his own, opening you up to both of your gazes. It only seemed to heighten your pleasure, watching his fingers dip into your heat relentlessly. You could feel him harden against your back, and you couldn't resist pressing up against it, pulling a hiss from his lips.

"Still teasing, princess?" He growls, slowing his fingers to an agonizingly slow pace. You whine, trying to grind yourself on his fingers, but he places a hand on your hip, holding you still. "Such a little slut for me, aren't you, princess. Look, you're dripping around my fingers." He chuckles, low and crazed. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you won't ever look at another man again. Even if you've only been looking at me. I'm not dumb, baby, I noticed what you were doing right away." You whine as he pulls his hand away entirely, unzipping his pants and shimmying out of them, throwing them to join your shirt. He pauses for a moment, throwing off his shirt and boxers while he took you in, squirming against the empty feeling between your legs.

He lifts you quickly, slotting one of your legs over each of his. His cock slips between your legs, barely pressing against your heat. You grind down against his length, breath catching as the tip grazes your clit, eyes shutting in pleasure. Kyoutani grasps the base of your hair, firm enough to startle you but not painful.

"You. Will. Watch. Me." Each word is punctuated by a thrust, and you kept your eyes on his dick, slowly drenched by your essence. He lifts you slowly, making sure your eyes stay locked on as he sinks you slowly onto his cock. You struggle against his hold, trying to force your hips down faster, but his grip is firm, pressing blooming bruises into your skin.

He finally relents when he bottoms out, letting you move as you please as you adjust to his length. He fills you so well, making you remember just how long it's been since you've fucked someone. Still, none of your flings had felt like this. He doesn't let you set the pace, his hands on your hips, and his thrusts making you feel like little more than a fuck toy. Yet you watch, moans flowing from your chest with every roll of his hips, feeling more desired than you ever had before.

He watches you for a while longer, rutting into your pussy with firm, deep strokes before pulling you off entirely. You whine at the emptiness, wondering how long he’ll keep you on edge when he throws you to the middle of the bed.

You can only stare at yourself in the mirror on the ceiling. You looked utterly debauched, face flushed, tears pooling in your eyes. Your nipples swollen and reddening, and even from this distance, you can see the slick pooling from your slit. Kyoutani pulls your legs wider as he slides up to you, and with the mirror, you can see every muscle in his back as he moves to place your legs. He wastes no time sinking into you again, sitting up on his knees to keep the view clear.

"You're pulling me in, princess." His finger dips to trace a harsh circle on your clit, and you can only cry out in response, watching your mascara run down your face in a dark track. "You want to be good for me, princess?" You nod desperately at his question, not trusting your words. He pulls your knees up to your chest, locking eyes with you as he kisses you quickly, urgently. "Hold your legs for me." Your shaking hands hug the back of your thighs to your chest as he pulls back. "And don't take your eyes off me."

He pulls back, spreading your open with his thumbs as he sinks into you slowly, and you moan at the delicious sight of him sinking into your heat. Once again, he seems to snap at your sounds, you can practically feel the heat of his gaze. You tear your eyes away from the mirror to meet his stare, clenching around him as you see the hunger growing in his eyes. The desire that grew in his eyes made you convinced he would consume you entirely, and all you wanted was to give into him.

“Kyoutani, please, fuck me. I’m your good girl.” You whine, and the look on his face was worth any embarrassment you felt saying the words. His hands pull your hips flush with his with bruising force. He truly lets go this time, starting a fierce pace, and all you can do is helplessly hold onto your legs and watch his dick slip in and out of your folds. It was so lewd, so unlike anything you would ever do. The brutality of his thrusts was painful, but the bite only pulled you closer to your high. He could feel the way you tensed around him, nearing your edge, and his finger returned to your clit, reveling in the way you bucked against his harsh touch.

“Kyou, gonna cum,” Your voice didn’t sound like your own anymore, all rough and fucked out, “Please.” He laughed lowly, circling you clit faster until you fell apart. He pulled out as you came, whining as you clenched around nothing.

"Look at your greedy little pussy, trying to pull in what isn't there." He laid an open-mouthed kiss against your core, lapping at your release as you cried out, wishing you could touch him. As the tremors began to subside, he shoved himself back within you, returning to his unforgiving pace. "I'm going to ruin you for everyone else, princess." He pants, finally replacing your hands with his own as his body covers your own. The feeling of his rough hands was much better than your own, and now you could clutch at the sheets as thrusts within you with abandon. You must be crying now, the wetness covering your face, but Kyoutani's eyes were locked on yours. He never stopped looking, even now. Even as he released inside of you, filling you further than you expected, he fought to keep his eyes open and on you.

He collapsed next to you on the bed, pulling you harshly to his side. What do you say now? After all this?

“You ruined my skirt.” You mentally slapped yourself, definitely not that. Yet Kyoutani chuckled, pulling your head to lay on his shoulder.

“I’ll buy you a new one. But you’re not allowed to watch anyone but me from now on.” You smiled, content with his answer, leaving a linger peck against his neck.

“I think I can do that, Kenta.” The smile he gave you then would be your favorite little secret, soft and sweet just for you.

Taglist: @say-my-name-assbut @rocorambles @animefandomally @super-haikyuu-hotline @gokm1023 @cornchipsanddip @verdandi24-blog @dadchis-girl @moonsaye @beatific-drabbles @animewh0re @queenmira29

#kyoutani x reader #kyoutani kentarou x reader #kyotani x reader #kyotani kentaro x reader #mad dog x reader #Nyx writes #nyx collabs #Haikyuu hq collab

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americxn · 3 years

Text

Run (part 5)

wordcount: 3.5k

warnings: teasing, slight smut

Kai’s side of the bed had long since gone cold when you awoke the next morning. Hurrying from the room, you cursed yourself for having gone to him, the restful sleep that his presence had provided you allowing your thoughts to become sharper and you scolded yourself for giving in to your want so easily. But as you dressed and readied yourself in the guest room across from Kai’s, your craving for him was undeniable, his face stark behind your eyelids whenever you closed your eyes, whenever you blinked. Your heart had seemingly already made the choice for you: It would take awhile for you to fully forgive Kai for what he had done to you, and you knew that when that happened, your want for him would simply burn even stronger. There was no point in forbidding something that both you and him so desperately wanted. A slow grin spread across your face as you mentally agreed with yourself that you were more than willing to give him a chance to love you. But where would the fun be in giving yourself over to him so easily? You turned back to your closet, pulling off the simple shirt you had just donned and replacing it with a tiny, low-cut crop top. Smiling evilly, you turned for the door, making your was down the stairs to the kitchen, silently hoping that Kai would already be in there.

The kitchen was empty when you arrived, causing you to sigh. Pushing away the dim glow of disappointment unravelling within your gut, you stalked for the fridge, grabbing some milk and setting about making yourself a bowl of cereal. You ate your breakfast leant against the counter facing the open kitchen doors, your eyes constantly flicking from your food to the door. Kai had probably gone out, you had woken up fairly late and he usually had errands to run that he preferred to do in the morning. The acknowledgement that you knew Kai’s routine so well made you smile softly. You stopped yourself, hurriedly shoving more cereal into your mouth, wiping at the milk that dribbled down your chin as you cursed yourself for already being so smitten with this man. Finishing up your breakfast, you chucked the empty bowl and spoon into the sink, filling a glass of water and draining it before bracing your arms on the counter. “You’re hopeless.” You whispered to yourself, pushing yourself off the worktop and slowly meandering to the kitchen doors, not sure what to do with yourself. The familiar sound of a car turning into the house’s driveway made you pause in your tracks, your head snapping to the window, watching as Kai’s large white car slowly rolled up the driveway. You stole that car. Your mind whispered at you. Pushing the thought away you watched as Kai emerged from the car, the door slamming shut behind him. Jerking into action, you jumped onto one of the barstools arranged around the marble island in the centre of the kitchen but cursed yourself as you realised that now you were sat stupidly at the kitchen table, along and doing absolutely nothing. But You weren’t given time to dwell on the thought as the front door swung open, Kai’s audible footsteps allowing you to track his short journey down the small stretch of hallway between the front porch and the kitchen door. He was whistling quietly as he came into view in the open doorway, his movements halting as he beheld you sat at the table. He wore a neatly ironed black shirt, the top buttons undone to reveal a portion of his chest, the top half of his faded blue hair pulled into a tight bun at the crown of his head. His car keys hung from his finger as his whistling stopped, Kai turning towards you and diverting his journey to step into the kitchen. You smiled at him, your elbows coming to rest on the cool surface before you, ensuring that he noticed when you squeezed your arms slightly tighter to your body in such a way that pushed your tits further together, your cleavage more than noticeable from the low-cut material of the shirt you wore. “Hey.” He greeted simply, wandering further into the room. “Hi.” You responded, leaning forwards in your seat to greet him. “Where have you been?” “Just running some errands.” You nodded at his vague explanation. “When did you wake up?” He asked. “Not too long ago, I slept in.” He hummed, before responding. “My bed is very comfy, isn’t it?” You tried in vain to keep your cheeks from heating, dropping your gaze to the table in order to avoid his dark eyes as they bored into yours, trying to gauge your reaction. “You should visit me in bed more often, y’know. I enjoy your company.” Whether he knew it or not, his implicit offer was clear: he didn’t mean just to sleep. You cleared your throat, adjusting your arms in order to enhance your cleavage even more. “Do you need any help with anything today? I need someone to give me something to do, I’m already bored.” Kai smiled slowly, his eyes roving over your body, dipping dangerously low before rising to meet your gaze once more. “Nah, I’ve got it covered. Thanks though.” He shrugged as he turned to leave the room. “Although, you could do me the favour of putting those pretty tits of yours away. I don’t want anyone else seeing them.” Your mouth went utterly dry at his boldness, your eyes trained on his broad back as he left the room without another word, resuming his whistling. You stared at the empty kitchen doorway for several moments, trying to ignore the effect that his words had on you as your pussy wetted slightly. Fine, if he wanted to play that game, you could play it just as hard.

Your teasing only got more and more bold over the next few days, and Kai’s reactions only became more and more noticeable. At cult meetings, you sat so close to Kai on the couch behind where he stood to address his group that your knees would brush the backs of his legs, his shoulders stiffening almost imperceptibly with each press of your clothed skin against him. Whenever you cooked dinner together, you would purposely brush past him again and again, leaning over the work surfaces slightly and pushing your ass out. Kai would return the carefully planned ‘careless’ treatment, leaning over you to reach for things from the cupboards, his hands falling to your hips with a ghost’s touch whenever he needed to get past you. Your outfits got skimpier and more revealing each day, the slices of skin that you kept on show for Kai begging him to make more comments on your body like the one he had made about your tits in the kitchen. But of course, Kai knew exactly what you were trying to do and refused to give you what you wanted, instead returning the treatment by ensuring that you walked in on him shirtless several times. This experience had left you flustered and unable to think coherent thoughts afterwards each time it happened, Kai indulging in the redness of your cheeks and the slackness of your jaw each time he allowed you to see the strong plains of his chest and back. And there was that time when you gone into Kai’s room whilst he worked downstairs, wearing nothing but a large t-shirt and your favourite panties. You had arranged yourself on his bed above the covers on your side with your legs tucked upwards to your chest, your arms gathering the pillow to your face. Kai had eventually entered the room after you had drifted off to sleep, his mouth falling open as he beheld you and the generous view of your bare ass that your position presented him. You had stirred five minutes later, disturbed by the sound of the shower running, Kai shivering beneath the frozen torrents of water as he forced himself to empty his mind of the truly filthy thoughts that had flooded his brain at the sight of your ass, your panties hugging your body so tightly that they were almost entirely hidden by the glorious curves of your ass. When he emerged from the shower several minutes later, he had composed himself enough to carefully move your body so that he was able to tuck you beneath the covers before stripping off his clothes and sliding into the bed beside you, his skin cold from the shower.

After some time of playing with and taunting one another, you had begun to lose hope that Kai would make a move on you, but your desperate prayers were answered when, after about a week of Kai enduring your teasing, he finally gave in, stiffly knocking on the door of the guest room late one night. “Yeah?” You called out, pausing the show you had playing on your laptop and looking towards the doorway. Kai appeared as the door was pushed open and he wasted no time in stepping into the room; closing your laptop, you pushed it to the bottom of the bed, greeting Kai with a questioning look. With his sudden presence, the room seemed to get smaller, filling with an agitated energy as you beheld his stiffly set shoulders. “Stand up.” He ordered, meeting you halfway across the room as you stood instantly as his command, the hard set of his face making your stomach flutter. He stepped up to you, his face an inch from yours. “You’ve been driving me fucking insane.” A slow smile spread across your face at his words. His gaze dropped to your grin, his jaw clenching, the muscles within feathering at your satisfaction. “Wicked thing,” he spoke through gritted teeth, taking another step forwards so that you were chest-to-chest. “I didn’t think you were enjoying it that much.” “Oh, of course I was.” You exclaimed coolly, your hands raising to settle on his chest, your fingertips tracing swirling patterns onto the soft fabric of his shirt. Kai’s eyes were dark as they bore into yours. “Are you finally going to let me do something or what? I don’t know how to make my apology even more clear to you.” You pushed his lowly spoken words aside, just wanting to forget about everything but the glorious man before you. “I don’t want anymore apologies, Kai. I want you to show me how sorry you are.” Your tone was light as your fingers roamed over his shirt, wishing that it was his warm skin you were touching as you raised your eyes to his. He hummed, his hands shooting out to latch onto your wrists and removing them from his chest. “Oh, I will.” Kai promised, stepping forwards slowly whist using his hold on your wrists to back you towards the bed. The tight hold of his slender fingers on your skin was intoxicating and you ached with both want and excited trepidation about what would come next. “Is that a threat or a promise?” You ventured, the knot of excited nerves gathered in your gut growing. “You won’t have to worry about that yet. Now stop talking.” His hands released your wrists, trailing slowly down your chest to the front of the vest you wore. The sound of the fabric tearing filled the room as his fingers hooked into the neck line, pulling the material apart in one clean rip. It fell to the floor around your feet, Kai not giving you so much as a second to track his movements as his fingers moved to hook roughly into the waistline of your pajama shorts. He quickly slid the garment down your bare legs, following the movement with his body until he was kneeling on the floor before you. You could barely breathe as he looked up at you, his hand trailing lightly up the back of your leg to your upper thigh. Your panties were the next thing to be discarded on the floor, Kai smirking as he gripped the back of your knee with his hand and pulled your leg up onto his shoulder. Your head tipped back of its own accord, the proximity of his face to your already drenched cunt overwhelming. Kai’s hand gripped onto the thigh you had hooked over his shoulder as he leaned in to press a single lingering kiss to your mons. The simple action could’ve had you cumming right there but Kai pulled back, his hand once again finding the back of your knee as he rose, pulling your leg off his shoulder and hooking it around his waist once he had risen to his full height. You could do nothing but stare at his face as his fingers deftly reached around you to undo your bra, it’s rough straps scraping against your too sensitive skin as he eased the garment from your shoulders and arms. As soon as it had hit the floor, Kai pushed your back, practically drooling as you fell onto your back in an exposed sprawl. His eyes dipped to the apex of your thighs, his heart thundering with need at the sight of the glistening sheen of wetness coating your pussy; he pushed his overwhelming want for you aside, needing to extract his revenge for your teasing before allowing himself to have his way with you. You couldn’t suppress the shudder that racked your body under the intense scrutiny of his dark eyes. “I want your head on the pillows.” He ordered, watching as you scrambled to obey his command, your pert ass exposed to Kai as you quickly crawled up the bed, flipping yourself over and settling into the soft pillows. He was on you immediately, his knees settling on each side of your legs. “You want me?” He breathed down to you, his hands itching to touch every inch of you. “Yes.” You whispered without hesitation, your hands coming to settle on his shoulders. “I can see that you’re already wet for me.” He crooned, bringing his face slightly closer to yours. “Yes. I’ve been wet all week.” You admitted shamelessly. His face crumpled in mock sympathy. You writhed your hips beneath him, restraining yourself from whining at his sudden lack of action. “You’re sinful.” He whispered roughly and you nodded, agreeing with his comment with renewed desperation. “Keep your arms above your head.” You blinked at him, but did as he asked, your hands hitting the headboard as you silently complied. Satisfied with your obedience, Kai lowered his head to the base of your throat, his hair brushing pleasantly against your collarbones. His lips were soft and warm as he pressed several kisses to your skin, drawing a trail up the column of your throat to your chin. You followed his movements by tipping your head back slightly further with each kiss as he progressed up your neck, allowing him better access and silently inviting him to use his teeth to mark you. As soon as his lips had completed their journey to your jaw, skimming against the bottom of your chin, he pulled away, denying you the full kiss to your lips that you craved. He kept eye contact with you as he moved down your body slightly, his lips latching onto your ribs and proceeding to give them the same treatment that he had just forced your neck to endure. This time, he allowed his teeth to graze against your skin as he travelled from one side of your torso to the other, goosebumps forming in his wake, chasing after his touch. You couldn’t help but groan when he pressed his nose to the space just beneath your breasts, his hot tongue finally coming contact with your skin as he kitten licked his way up to your tits. Pausing at the bottom of their sloping form, he closed his eyes, listening to your laboured, shuddering breaths. From above him, your own eyes were clenched shut, your mouth slightly parted as you forced yourself to keep your hands above your head. All you wanted to do was to weave your fingertips into the blue strands of his hair but you knew that in doing so, you risked upsetting Kai and cutting this intimate exchange short. Using his tongue, Kai softly traced the area of skin where your pert tits met your torso, tracing and licking back and forth. “If you’re not going to touch me properly, then at least let me touch you.” Kai’s teeth latched onto your skin at your words, breathless and accented with whiny need, tugging painfully at your flesh as he raised his head slightly before releasing his hold on your skin. “No. Move your hands and I’ll leave.” He responded firmly. You groaned, your head sinking further into the pillows beneath you at his blunt denial. He dipped his head once more, this time skimming his warm lips along your abdomen, past your bellybutton and to one of your hips. You hissed softly when he bit down on your skin, simultaneously latching his lips onto you and sucking harshly. Kai moved back and forth between your hips, painting them in turn with blotchy, deep red marks, the sensation becoming slightly more painful as his brutal onslaught on your skin continued. In the midst of the intense attention that Kai was subjecting your hips to, you didn’t even notice when his hand trailed down the small stretch of skin between your hips, his touch light as he ventured over your pubic bone to the heat between your thighs. Using his fingers, he pinched the skin either side of your labia together, forcing your cunt to close in such a way that made your clit throb from within the confines of his hold. You gasped when he pinched harder, moving his fingers slightly and rubbing the outer part of your pussy together. Your clit jumped and pulsed in an attempt to gain any sort of traction, Kai’s fingers going still and effectively leaving you to jerk yourself off in his hold. You moaned softly as Kai moved his face away from your skin, dropping his gaze to watch as your pussy pulsated of its own accord in it’s desperation to gain some pleasure from his manipulative touch. He smiled up at you as your hips undulated in weak desperation, his hand not leaving your snatch as he moved back up your body, his face appearing before yours. Leaning down to your pleasure-contorted face, his mouth finally found yours. The kiss was a mere brush of lips before Kai’s teeth latched onto your lower lip, pulling back slightly with your lip still in his firm hold. You groaned when, all at once, his teeth released your lip, his hand leaving your pussy. “Be ready to stay wet for another week.” He said in faux blithe, his face disappearing from view. You couldn’t bring yourself to move as he left, the door closing softly behind him, bathing in such deep frustration that tears pricked your eyes as you listened to his light footsteps as he crossed the hall, the sound of his own door opening and closing like a physical blow as he left you feeling utterly empty and unsatisfied without his warm touch.

Even the freezing water of the shower wasn’t enough to dull the burning need searing through Kai, smoldering a little hotter each time your face infiltrated his thoughts, the sounds of your breathy moans under his close ministrations replaying over and over in his mind. After his shower, his lay naked on his bed, unable to take his thoughts off of you and what you were doing. Relieving yourself from your own frustration probably. The memory of the pleasant smell of your cunt and the hot wetness that had gathered there for him had his hand wrapping harshly around his cock. He had to bite onto the corner of his pillow to remain silent as he brought himself to orgasm not once, but three times, imagining that it was your smaller hand in place of his. He tossed and turned in bed for hours, your scent seeming to hang around him, taunting him and preventing him from the blessed closure of sleep. The fourth time he made himself cum left him still feeling painfully unsatisfied, but it was enough to douse the burning desire coursing through every part of him, sleep coming to offer him a brief reprieve from the strong memories of the sound of your laboured breathing and the feel of your hot skin under his lips.

taglist: @kitwalker02 @three-eyed-snail @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove (if you want to be added or removed, just send me a message <3)

#ahs #american horror story #ahs cult #american horror story cult #cult #ahs season 7 #kai anderson #kai x reader #evan peters #evan peters ahs

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muffindaddystyles · 3 years

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Request: Could u do one where y/n is a stripper but her and Harry are already together. So Harry and his friends all know y/n works at the strip club because she’s Harry girl and they all go up there and she gives him a lap dance?? Idk I just need something dirty😂✋🏽

Disclaimer: Public infatuation, spitting and teasing.

Do you ever see shit crumbling down infront of your eyes and said, "fuck it." before taking the step that could have a ominous impact on your life? Perhaps Y/N did the same. When she couldn't pay for her UNI she started working at a club as a waitress, scrubbing the awful stickiness of beers and alchol wasn't a nightmare for her at least.

She always admired the girls outdoing themselves on stage, something so fascinating about having men on the tip of their shoes and emptying their pockets just to have a watch of mere skin.

One night when the clock striked past 2 am and the club had barely three people her friend ushered her on the stage, it wasn't sexy and eroticaly mind blogging. She was trying to have fun (she's very socially akward and have a stage phobia). Rather, cute as she danced in her pink skirts and showy apron not caring when her headband slid down as she spinned around the pole with loud giggles.

What took her gasp away was a beautiful man sitting in the corner dimmed away from the bashing lights of the room. Hand adorned in gems and jewels wrapped around the crystal glass of beer as he sat man-spreading in a black suit, a white shirt underneath that gives the glimpse of his tattoos and an evident smirk of ferver for her that made her tummy scorch.

"Y/N!" The bartender shouted for her, "Take this order for the table 22, quick." She tumbles down two stairs hastily and it takes out a chuckle from his lips, his eyes following her constantly. The glass of another bevy is for none other than the man with emarld eyes and chocolate curls.

She approaches him with a bicker between her mind and heart to shut the fuck up, as she slides the glass infront of him without glancing up at him.

"Y'dance gorgeously." His voice sultry and so so supple she couldn't belive it came out from him. "Uhm thank you . . . but 'm not what you're thinking 'm." She fumbles with her apron back treating slowly and he raises his brows not in amusement but in acknowledgement puffering out his bottom red lip she oh so gonna think about whole night.

"Doesn't matter, eh." She nods, "like somethin' else?" Her smile. Harry think her smile lit up his previous grumpy mood and his eyes falls over her shoes, he didn't like that they were literally about to thread into patches.

"Nope. Jus' headin' out, take care, love." Fuck him. There's no way she wouldn't imagine about him, being there in her dainty loft.

He left a bunch of cash as her tip and it made her all blushy.

Their next encounter was rather funny. Bumping into eachother at a grocery shop and her collection of junk food, cans of sweet sodas and candies went flying infront of him making her feel giddy that what he'd think about him? A child of five ready to go back to school?

His apologies were cut short when he sees it's her and his eyes went glowy. She's completely a different person when not under the blazing lights, so soft and clean wearing a cream coloured sweater, curdoury lilac pants and spectacles perched atop her bunny nose.

Him in a rolling stones tee and slacks.

"Y'alright, there?" He asks her with a brush to her elbow and she nods, "oh, Mr. Gucci pants?" That was the point where their love story started not a clićhe one but Harry's head over heels for her to this day. She calls him Gucci pants to annoy him cause his trousers that had a visible gucci label on the hem of them.

Then after few months of them hanging out and their first kiss she got to know that he's the owner of the club she fucking works at. She didn't know what to do, is that okay to date something out of your status and league? Even boss? She ghosted him for weeks and realized that how much she missed him. His thoughts didn't seem to leave her mind at all, his lips and kisses.

They've a most healthy relationship, he doesn't stop her from working at club as a waitress neither does he feels remorseful when she gets angry for paying her extra replying with cheekiness, "can't wait to have our bank accounts together, i like to give y'me lovin' sweet bug."

Their sex life's a proper satisfaction for both of them, Harry's such a caring domineering to her and it makes her cry sometimes when she floats into her sub-space. She loves to have him inside her after rough nights and to have sex in the morning getting sticky due to him hardening while still inside her.

She's public shy so they never try anything outside (harry respects her boundaries and gives her space whenever she needs some) but giving him a blowjob in his car doesn't seem that scary, does it? And the fact she loves to keep him warm and wet in her mouth everytime. He exposed her to the world of sex toys and how to use them, she was hesitant in the start but now loves to play with herself while he caresses his cock infront of her.

She hates being tied up! Always wants to touch him and feel his velvety skin. He ties up when she's being a bad puppy.

She loves when he fucks her from behind on her knees studying and sometimes she likes him harsh too, to be pounded raw, it makes her panties soak with yearn to have him.

But, in general he's all pet names and kisses. Gifting her silks and making her matchas. Cuddles and hugs from behind. Though, he likes to be a small spoon with his face tucked between her squishy tits and likes to have back rubs by her when the work gets a load on him.

Today though she'd like to come out of her cocoon and do something bold to show him that she wanna put the same effort to turn him on as he does. She doesn't know that her only presence stiffens his dick.

Harry was along his friends in his usual spot away from the bustling crowd when the patter of heels distracted them making their heads perk up, "would you guys like something?" She asks them and Nialler who's already miffed bad hiccups, "another bevy fo' me." She rolls her eyes at him sticking her tongue out.

"Then fetch one for yourself." While they bickered Harry admired his girl. The curve of her peach and her fleshy thighs, the stocking she's wearing doing nothing to satiate his burn to fuck her right now on these tables infront of everyone. "Anddd what'd you like to 've, Sir." She dips her knee between his thighs near his crotch whispering sultry-ly in his ear and pressing her wet lips against his earlobe on purpose.

"You." He smiles bashfully running his hands under her skirt and thighs giving it lil smack making her squeal softly, "'m all yours to take." She smooches a kiss to his mouth and presses her panties clad cunt against his man-spread moaning subtly when he groped her ass to assist her in humping him.

"Get a room you guys!!" Their friends hollered and Harry was quick to take Y/N's hand leading her to a private room, "On the sofa legs spread fo' me." She doesn't listen to him and pushes him down instead crawling up his lap.

"No." She tries to use the most intimidating voice, "what? You sound like a kitten, baby." He teases her letting his fingers linger over her garter and she hisses when he snaps it. She pins his wrists between them telling him grumpy-ly, "I - said - no." Her neck stretches giving Harry more skin to plant kisses as she brought his hand to cup them against her pussy.

"Wanna fuck me 'n d'the dirty work yourself? Go on then." He murmures grazing her collarbones with his teeth and palms her chest, stroking the perked nipple again and again to make her wet than she already's. Except of undressing him herself she orders him because she's too far gone to do anything other than have his cock pounding inside her, "Undress." When he does so she wraps her hand around his huge prick and taps his cherry lips with her fingers.

Pulling at his foreskin for some time and coating it perfectly with his own pre-come she sides her panties with shaky fingers and sinks down on him completely, she loves this position. In this way he feels too big inside her, deep to her tummy and could embrace eachother cosily.

"This's what you wanted? To fuck yourself with me prick, to keep it forever inside you?" He grabs her from sides helping her ride him and she hugs his shoulders whimpering with each languid stroke of his thickness against her spongy walls, "yes, yes, yes." His balls slaps against her bum and she squeezes around him with a cry.

He tuts in a mean voice, "Look how 've turned me sweet innocent Y/N into a filthy girl whose cunt's always drippin' with me cum." Her hairline beads with sweat and she muffles her moans by bitting him, he yanks her.

"Let everybody listen how hard ye're bein' pounded." He growls spanking her ass to a plump redness, groping her asscheeks to push harder and it makes her squirt around him.

"More, more, please more." She says in a soft hoarseness thighs quaking around his waist from exhaustion and he chuckles kissing her temple rolling her sensitive clit with the pad of thumb to make her cum, "oh! Harry — " This time she moans without holding back and when she doesn't stop moving Harry takes the hint.

"Bug you're gettin' tired." He flips them. Pressing her thigh against the back of couch with a tight grip of his hands around, so tight it'll leave imprints. Looking down a whimper slips from his throat at the sight of her widely spread for him and her pussy lips wrapped around his rock hard cock, though the sofa is already ruined with their wetness he spits where they're connected.

The dirty, sloppy wet noises of them turns him on so bad and he laps at her nipples like a kitten would do drilling inside her vigorously it makes her gasp in pleasure, moan and cry his name.

She rakes her nails down his spine when he grinds down at her in rough circles, "I'm gonna cum." She cries out cramping around him and their bones rattles with each pound she receives from him.

"Come fo' me darlin', gonna count to three — " He caresses her jaw, kissing her again and again face expression bundling up with the wave of pleasure that's about fluid over him as she thrashes under him, head on the sofa and torso stretching out, "fuck, fuck, fuck." He mutters unloading inside of her in sticky white ribbons that spill out of her because he came alot.

Taking a breather they untangle themselves a little and she whispers snuggling into his neck, "might think we could crash at this sofa tonight." Wrapping her calves around him like a koala.

"But, 'm hungry too." She giggles when her stomach grugled angrily.

"Let's clean up and get fish 'n chips from the next shop." He pets her head.

"Amazing!" She chirps.

#harry styles smut #harry styles dirty one shots #harry smut #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #dom harry #harry x y/n #harry x reader #submission

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1engele · 3 years

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daybreak | sal fisher x fem!reader - 5. faster

Previous | Next

[warnings: SMUT (it's dry humping), fast driving]

"are they driving you forward or crazy?"

— When you opened the passenger door to Sal's father's car, it squeaked and nearly snapped off of its hinges.

You froze in fear. "Oh, shit. Did I break it?"

Sal leans over the console from his spot in the driver's side of the vehicle and takes a split second to process. "Oh. Nah, it does that a lot."

You breathily laugh and climb into the passenger seat, pulling the half-broken car door shut. You shifted in your spot and passed your eyes over the interior of the vehicle.

"It smells good in here," you commented, breathing in the scent of mint.

He looked over at you. "Really? That's weird—I don't think he has any air fresheners in here.."

You paled and quickly realized your mistake. You'd just inadvertently smelled Sal and mistook that for the scent of the car. "Oh? Hmm, yeah, weird."

Sal pressed his foot on the brake—you knew this much because it made an audible whining sound—and stuck the key into ignition before turning it. The vehicle's engine became alive, rumbling the car and vibrating the seat beneath you. "Usually that takes multiple tries," he comments.

"When else have you drove?" You asked, your eyes following his untroubled movements.

Sal then shifts the gear into reverse and began to pull out of the parking space. Not before placing his right hand on the back of your seat. You blinked, a chill like ice sliding down your spine.

"Uh, well—this isn't a common thing for me to do," he turns his head to look over his shoulder as he rotates the steering wheel. "I've driven a couple of times. At night, sometimes I'll take the car to the convenience store. I've also taken it to just.. drive."

There's a ghost of a smile on your lips. "You seem like the type of guy that finds it hard to clear his head."

He glances over at you. "You're right. Once something gets in there it's hard to get it out."

"I get it," you reply. "I'm an overthinker too."

Once he'd straightened the vehicle and shifted the gear into drive, Sal drove out of Addison Apartment's parking lot and pulled out and into the road.

The streets were dark, tranquil, calm... the only sounds that could be heard were the blowing of the breeze and the rotation of the car's tires. You began to count the tall streetlights on the side of the road as they rhythmically passed, their illumination casting a brilliantly golden sheen over your skin.

The engine rumbled beneath you. It felt nice. It sent what felt like electricity through your thighs.

These were the moments that felt like you weren't real. Like nothing around you was real—no one around you was real... like nothing mattered, because none of it existed.

Sal says your name. Your head is rested against the seat as you move it to look at him. "Are you okay?"

You blink slowly. "Hm? What do you mean?"

"It's been a while. You haven't said anything."

How long had you been counting lights? How many lights had you counted? Why couldn't you remember the number that had been floating around in your mind?

"Oh," you breathe. "Sorry. I got lost in thought."

You meet his eyes before your attention moved to the rest of him. The way his hands clenched around the black leather of the steering wheel, his rings glinted beneath the light of both the moon and the streetlights that shone into the dim interior of the car. The way his pale arms were visible because he'd previously rolled up the sleeves of your sweater, and the way they were almost translucent—if you looked hard enough, you'd see the blue and green veins.

The slight spread of his thighs and the skin you saw beneath the rips of his jeans.

His Adam's apple, and the way it bobbed as he swallowed the pool of his saliva beneath the scorch of your eyes.

It wasn't hard to decipher. What you felt for him was pure need. You didn't know if he felt the same, you didn't think you ever would, and you couldn't find yourself to care.

You wanted him so bad. You wanted to feel his hands all over.

You looked away and squeezed your thighs together.

Fuck, you thought.

Shaking your head, you moved in your seat, towards the window.

"What are you doing?" His voice called, but you barely heard him over the whistling of the wind as you picked yourself up and off of the seat and sat yourself down in the open window. Your hair blew in your face as you turned your head and watched the road—the white lines painted onto the asphalt as they disappeared beneath the car.

You breathed in, but the current of air was so fast and hard that you found it hard to inhale.

Sal yells your name. "You're going to hurt yourself," he warns, a hint of pleading in his tone.

"No, I won't," you call back, tightening your grip on the handlebar you used to steady yourself and leaning back. "Go faster, Sal."

"You-"

"Please!"

Silence, all but the breeze, before the wheels began to rotate quicker. The wind hit your face harder, and you quickly found it easier to just hold your breath instead of trying to breathe.

You laughed. "Keep going!"

You turned your head upward, the stretch of your neck facing the sky. You looked up to the midnight blue sky and all of the stars that inhabited it.

There was nothing better than this moment.

You felt the grasp of desperate fingers around your ankle. His rings were cold on your bare leg. Once again, that feeling like ice slid down your spine. It took a moment for you to process the fact that Sal had placed his hand on you to ensure you wouldn't fall to your death.

He wouldn't be able to catch you, though—you'd fall too fast.

"I won't fall, Sal. I trust you."

"You shouldn't trust me," he calls back.

You smile up to the heavens and at the stars that blanket it. "But I do."

It wasn't long before your eyes caught onto the oncoming headlights of an approaching vehicle. Your eyes widened just a bit, and you ducked back into the car and returned to your seat. Sal retracted his hand and returned it to the steering wheel.

When the car had passed, he looked to you.

"You'll end up killing yourself one day."

The rotation of the tires began to slow. The car slowed into a cruise, as Sal made a turn and you began to drive through a more inhabited street. You looked around at the houses on the block as they passed—there wasn't even one person in sight.

Nockfell was asleep.

"I'll be okay."

Sal drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Silence follows for a bit. You finally muster up enough courage to say something.

"Sal," you murmur, wringing your hands together.

He turns his head and meets your eyes. His gaze is wonderfully blue, even in the darkness of the poorly lit interior of his father's car. He rotates his thumbs over the leather of the steering wheel.

"Can you pull over for a minute?"

Once again, his hands slide over the shape of the steering wheel. You follow his movements with your eyes—and you're nearly shaking with anxiousness and anticipation.

He obliges your request and pulls into a shaded spot on the side of the road. You're out of the neighborhood now, and the vehicle is sitting on the side of a main road. It's a bit dark, though, in a spot the golden light of the streetlights don't touch.

You watch him shift the gear into the park. The car comes to an immediate still.

"What's-" he starts, but he hastily grows quiet. You move towards him, crawling over the console that separates the both of you. You listen to his unsteady breaths as you place your right knee beside his left thigh and settle into his lap.

You've straddled him.

He meets your eyes—his gaze is wide, unsure. His pupils are blown and he's most likely struggling to process what's happening. "Y/N.."

Your palms rest against either of his shoulders. You slide them down his arms until you've reached his hands. You cautiously pick them up and slowly move them toward your lower body. He exhales against the mask, slowly, as you shape his palms around the curves of your hips and then retract your touch.

Your bare thighs press against his denim-clad legs. You raise your hands again, slide them past his hair and softly cup either sides of his neck. He's really warm.

"I'm sorry," you breathe. "Do you want me to stop?"

Heat, fiery, and too, too hot pools inside of you whenever his fingers tighten over the material of your skirt. "Not really."

You glance downward and settle your lower half fully onto his groin. Your ears are almost ringing as you slowly roll your hips over him.

Thank god you'd chose to wear a skirt—with boy shorts beneath, obviously—today, or else you wouldn't have been able to feel anything.

"Sal," you murmur, sliding your hands over his chest and gripping the material of your sweater he wore to give yourself more grip. The friction only gets better the harder you grind yourself down onto him.

"Shit," he breathes, his now warm palms moving up to your waist and tightening into the place below your ribs.

You lean into him, your breasts pressing against his chest as you bring your mouth to the flesh of his neck and latched onto it. He made the sweetest sound as you passed your tongue over his skin and began to suck a bruise into his complexion.

When you let go, you licked the saliva off and pulled back, and then allowed yourself to place another hickey just beside it.

This was the only sexual experience you'd ever had in your life, and you knew it was his, as well. Everything you were doing was what you felt like doing and what your instincts screamed out at you to do.

Before you realized it, he'd reached behind his neck and unbuckled the restraints of his prosthetic. After he'd tossed it into the passenger seat, he barely allowed you the pleasure of catching your second ever glimpse before he'd pushed you up against the steering wheel and latched his mouth onto the spot just above your collarbone.

Your noise of surprise followed into a whine as he sucked a mark into your flesh. Your sounds only heightened in volume as he began to grind himself up into you.

"Ah," you gasped, the seam in his pants rubbing into that bundle of nerves between your thighs exactly right. You wrapped your legs around him. " Like that."

He hummed against your skin and obliged. As you felt him grind into you harder, you recognized just how hard he was. It was amazing, really—that didn't seem like the type of thing to feel through denim.

Sal passed his tongue over the bruise he left after finishing, just as you had moments ago. He then pulled back to look into your eyes, needy and wanting.

The lust you were feeling was indescribable. You felt warm all over and all you wanted was for him to touch you everywhere.

Before you knew it, your mouth was on his. The kiss was hot and hungry and different than what you'd imagine kissing would be like. It makes sense, though—Sal wasn't like the others. But it was perfect, and you wanted more of him.

You could admit, though—you hadn't expected having your tongue in Sal's mouth would be a factor of your day when you'd woke up that morning.

When you'd both pulled back from the kiss to breathe, you immediately felt that knot that had begun to form inside of you begin to unravel itself.

You held onto him tighter, your words breathy and your lips wet. "Sal," you breathed, both a warning of what was to come and a want to keep going.

"I know," he replied. "Me too."

Before long, followed by one last deep roll of your hips, your entire body paused before you felt yourself finally tip over that cliff and reach that high you'd been chasing. You cried out as you pressed yourself into him, your legs twitching and trembling.

He followed your lead moments after you reached your peak, reaching his own. He buried his face into the flesh of your neck and muffled his groan as his hands shook around you.

After that, you both allowed yourself to be still for a minute, panting and desperately taking in the air.

"Fuck," Sal gasps, leaning back into his seat, his chest rising and falling hastily. "You literally made me come in my pants."

You met his eyes and smiled. He stared into your gaze for a moment.

"Did you.." he began, searching your face.

"You couldn't tell?" You replied, laughing quickly. Your legs were still twitching on top of his. "Yeah, I did."

He lets his head fall back and inclines his head upward. "Holy shit, Y/N. Did- did you have this planned the whole drive?"

Your lips twitched. "No. It just happened suddenly."

Sal chuckles, and shifts in his seat. His hands are still shaking as he pats your hip. "Okay. Get back in your seat so I can take us home."

You oblige, return to your seat, and wondered what exactly all of this meant.

#sally face #sally face x reader #sal fisher x reader

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 3 years

Text

Meeting and Dating Andy Cavenaugh

(My shitty gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- Living in the middle of the desert was an interesting experience. You’d lived in the same home since you were born and yet there were still occupants of your town that you’d never seen or met; even though there was only a meager population of under 50.

- It was the sheer size of your state that did it. Everyone lived miles away from each other and any shop that was considered to be “nearby” was still at least a thirty minute drive so you only ever went into town a couple times a month. Which is how you met Andy.

- You’d driven into town with a list of supplies you’d needed and a wallet full of that months savings, ready to get your stuff and go as quickly as you could; hoping to get home before the sun rose all the way and baked you alive.

- Coincidentally, Andy was in town at the same time, loitering around the store you were attempting to shop at. You paid him no mind and went about your business until you were ready to check out.

- Once the shopkeep had rung you up, you found that you didn’t have enough money for all the things on your list and reluctantly told the man to keep something as he helped you pack up what you could afford.

- Andy watched the entire interaction from somewhere behind you as he pocketed whatever he felt like. Once you headed towards the doors of the building, he picked some cheap thing off the shelf and went to the checkout, watching you as you packed up your car.

- While the store clerk was preoccupied with the cash register, the boy snuck whatever you’d left behind into his jacket and waited another few moments for the man to hand him his actual purchase before he made his way outside.

- You were just about to get into your car when he came up to you, greeting you casually before he held out his hand and offered you the thing that you’d left behind. You looked at him in surprise before you thanked him and took it, shifting it to your other hand so that you could offer him yours in a handshake.

- The two of you introduced yourselves and he asked if you’d be interested in going out sometime. Since all you knew about him was that he was attractive and sweet enough to “buy” you the thing you couldn’t afford, you agreed and wrote down your number for him, telling him that it was nice meeting him and saying goodbye before you drove off.

- He calls you a couple days later while out with his friends, a little liquid courage in his system and a bit of peer pressure from his buddies leading to his wonderful decision making.

- You’re clueless and he thinks his friends will stick to their word of “heading out before you show”, which obviously doesn’t happen. You arrive and they’re still there, almost immediately inviting themselves to what was supposed to be your first date and making the night rather uncomfortable at times.

- You can tell that your date is just as uncomfortable as you, but that doesn’t exactly make things any better. By the time the night ends, you’ve already decided that you’re probably just gonna count your losses and find a potential boyfriend elsewhere.

- But fate seems to be on Andy’s side because the two of you find yourselves face to face a few days later. He gives you an apology, explaining everything before telling you that he’d like to see you again.

- It takes you a minute to decide but you finally agree and tell him that you’ll give it another shot, bringing up your own idea for a date in hopes that you won’t be bothered by his buddies again. He gives you a wide smile, asking when he should pick you up and thanking you genuinely just before he leaves.

- So, for your second date; though you like to consider it your first, the two of you go to whichever place you chose and wind up having a really nice time. He seems to be on his best behavior but his real personality shines through as well; and it’s one that you really enjoy.

- You probably give him a kiss on the cheek as a goodnight but the two of you share your first real kiss on your next date. You’d spent pretty much the entire night together and wound up parking off on the side of the road to stargaze for a while.

- You were leaning against the hood of his car with him, looking up at the sky before your gaze shifted to the man beside you. He was preoccupied with watching the stars, leaving you to let your mind wander.

“I’m glad we gave this another shot.” You said and watched as his focus shifted to you instead.

- He gave you a smile and told you that he was too before he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

- Congratulations, you caught yourself a firebird in the middle of the desert.

- Andy really doesn’t give a shit about how other people feel like 80% of the time, and he’s just a fan of affection in general, so there’s going to be a lot of Pda in your relationship; if you’ll allow it.

- Handholding. He likes keeping you close to him and making sure that you aren’t getting into any dangerous trouble; especially if you’re around his friends. Although he does wear his gloves a lot so; even though he gives you the occasional reassuring squeeze or strokes his thumb across your knuckles, you’ll most likely be feeling leather more than his skin.

- If someone’s kissing a face, it’s you. His lips are for your lips only, he doesn’t bother touching them to anything else; though he does enjoy when you kiss him on the cheek or jaw.

- Deep, slow kisses.

- He calls you honey or baby more than he calls you by your name. And as tough as he likes to pretend he is, he’d love to have you call him by pet names too.

- Cuddling is one of his favorite pastimes; he absolutely loves it. Most of the time, he’ll pull you in, pressing his cheek/jaw to your head and letting you lay right up against him, your head resting against his shoulder or in the crook of his neck.

- A lot of the time, he prefers to be loving in a more reserved way. He tends to show that he cares through his actions and by doing little things to make your life easier. Things like waking up early to put gas in your car or picking up things that you need from the store whenever he’s in town so that you don’t have to go.

- Sometimes, he’ll set up a sentence like he’s about to say something really sweet or you’ll ask him something expecting a cute response and he’ll just say something crude or lewd instead.

“How do I look.” He turns and looks at you, a smile gracing his face.

“Your tits look great.” He replies, barely holding in his laughter.

- He indulges you more than he cares to admit. He might occasionally act like he’s too cool but he’s too in love with you to say no and potentially make you sad.

- Tv dates. There ain’t shit else to do.

- Cruising around in his firebird; and sometimes parking somewhere to makeout.

- Going on road trips or long outings. There isn’t a whole lot to do in your town so you’ll occasionally take the long ride over to the next town in hopes of finding something fun.

- He’ll never tell you that he does but he always dodges potholes and bumpy areas during these trips so that he doesn’t wake you up while he’s driving.

- Driving out to the middle of the desert with a bundle of blankets to watch the sunrise; or stopping on the side of the road during one of your trips.

- Sitting with him while he works on his car.

- Going out into the desert to shoot or smash random junk. Vases, porcelain, tin cans; stuff like that.

- Playing pinball and other convenience store arcade games.

- Every now and again, he’ll get some money from his pops and take you out to a nice dinner; especially if it’s after the two of you are pushed into doing something you dont like and he can see that you’re upset. It’s usually because of Sam but he still feels the need to try and make it up to you and make sure that you aren’t gonna ghost him.

“Hey, why don’t we go and get some dinner,” he’ll say, a hint of nervous desperation in his voice as you walk out to his car. “You can get whatever you want. Dessert too.”

- It isn’t clear exactly how rich Andy actually is but it seems like he’s sort of embarrassed to have wealth in such a poor town. Because of this, I feel like he probably wouldn’t mention it and would try to dodge questions that would lead to him exposing the truth, maybe acting like he’s less wealthy than he is until Sam “outs” him and causes an awkward situation.

- Him stealing things for you. You’d much prefer if he just bought them but at least he doesn’t tell you whether or not he’s stolen it most of the time.

- Likes to fool around a lot; he’s rarely ever fully serious and he’s always trying to make you laugh.

- Can quote just about any western film you can name and does impressions of all the characters. He grew up on those sorts of things so he’s practically an expert by now.

- He likes messing with your stuff: putting on your clothes, using your mirror for random stuff, picking things up off your dresser and toying around with them, etc.

- My god, the change of character he has when he’s with his friends and you, compared to when he’s with his parents gives you whiplash. It’s hilarious seeing him lie and act like an angel during family dinners.

- His dad probably lectures him about manners whenever you’re with them: things like putting his elbows on the table, saying grace, how he treats you, etc. Its pretty amusing to see.

- He seems like a good guy who got mixed in with the wrong people. Sure, he enjoys a little chaos and trouble making like the rest of them but he doesn't like hurting people and you can tell from the way he acts afterward that he isn't proud; especially when you give him a look in the middle of the situation and sober him up.

- You’re dragged along with him and the boys a lot; or he’s forced to ditch you to hang out with them whenever Sam calls.

- Sam flirting with you. You know damn well that he’d make you compliment him or get you to agree with his praise of himself; and Andy would be miffed but unable to do anything besides listen to him while his knuckles whiten on his steering wheel.

- There aren’t a lot of people in your town for him to get jealous of but whenever there is, he does. Most of the time, it’s Sam or some flirtatious traveler but other times it’s your celebrity crushes or old boyfriends. He usually just bites his tongue or makes some kind of sarcastic, passive aggressive comment; it depends on who it is and how you’re reacting to them.

- He’s always looking over at you and making sure you’re alright whenever he can; especially when you’re out with his friends. He knows that getting into the trouble that they do can be dangerous and he doesn’t want anything happening to you just because Sam doesn’t know when to stop.

- The two of you get into a lot of arguments but they’re rarely ever serious. You mostly just bicker before the two of you give up and decide that it’s a pointless fight.

- Whenever you do have an argument, one that he causes and upsets you with, he always feels guilty and finds himself unable to stay mad at you. He might not verbally apologize but he will try to make it up to you in some way and tell you that he’s sorry.

- He’s not big on saying he loves you but he does say it on occasion; and definitely shows it more than he says it.

- The two of you probably get engaged on a whim a bit too early into your relationship but he’s promising to take you out of that desert city and along with him to Hollywood so the ring is a nice symbol of that oath.

#andy cavenaugh imagine #andy cavenaugh headcanons #andy cavenaugh headcanon #andy cavenaugh imagines #creepshow 2 imagine #creepshow 2 headcanon #creepshow 2 headcanons #creepshow 2 imagines #80s movie imagines #80s movie imagine #80s movie headcanons #80s movie headcanon

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slasherbastard · 3 years

Text

Jealous

(gif credit: pearris2swine)

Warnings: implied sexual stuff, angst, swearing Word count: 2047 Notes: i am so uninspired sorry

Another day in Ambrose. You adjusted your dress and stared at your reflection in the mirror and sighed in slight annoyance as the ends of the black dress rode up your legs, you hated dresses and even though it was all for show you still couldn't help but feel gross. You hated the eyes that raked your body and the compliments from the male victims that made you want to vomit but hey, that's just business - and it wasn't just a one person job, Bo took care of the girls and you took care of the guys (and a few girls, which you like to hold against Bo). Of course Bo had to find you the skimpiest looking dress for his mother's funeral, it was amusing to you but sad at the same time. You took a bobby pin off the sink and swiped some hair back and pinned it in place before going back to touching up your makeup when the bathroom door opened and Bo came in.

"Babe? We're going to be late-" You stared at Bo in the mirror and turned to him, he looked stunned. "Oh your body does wonders for that dress." He smirked and walked up to you and place a hand on your side as he pulled you in for a kiss. Before the session could get heated you swiftly pulled away and placed a finger on his lips and smiled.

"We're going to be late." You mimicked his southern accent and laughed as you walked past him, the sound of clicks against tiles followed you with those uncomfortable heels Bo forced you to wear. You made a bet that he was checking out your ass as you walked out and when you glanced back at him, sure enough he was. He followed you out and downstairs.

You both exited the house and got into Bo's truck. Usually the two of you would just walk but you were already late enough and Bo being Bo blamed Lester for the such short notice - even though it was Bo who decided to check his voicemail half an hour before the victims would be arriving. Bo sped down the hill and parked a few buildings away from the church, jumping out of the truck without bothering to lock it before grabbing your hand and practically dragging you through the church doors. The church looked the same as ever, it wasn't like anybody besides the two of you occupied it a few days every month when newer victims entered the town. Bo turned on the stereo and got into place, kneeling down beside his mother's wax covered corpse as you stood beside him with a hand on his shoulder and looked down into Trudy's hazy lifeless eyes, a shiver ran down your spine but you ignored it and continued staring at her just waiting for the church doors to open.

And they did. You and Bo turned around in unison and stared at the shocked face of a girl who quickly shut the door. "Well, that's our cue." Bo stood up and you followed him out to 'greet' the victims, the girl who ambushed the funeral and a guy who looked looked really pissed off. The girl began apologising profusely as you and Bo walked past.

"Look, we need the mechanic guy that redneck told us about."

"That mechanic guy? Well, I'm that mechanic guy but we're in the middle of a funeral-"

"Look, if I pay you extra will-" The man didn't have time to finish before Bo had slammed him against one of the church walls, a tight grip on his shirt as he got close.

"Look buddy, I'm really not having a good day so you're going to wait until this funeral is finished then I'll think about fixing your car. Got it?" The man nodded and held his hands up. Bo let go and walked back up into the church alone while you checked to see if the man was okay.

"I'm sorry about him, he just lost his mother and hasn't been himself lately."

The church doors opened again and Bo stepped out with a more sincere look on his face. "I'm sorry. How about we get that car looked at?" You passed a look onto the man that could be read as 'I told you so' and the four of you began walking down to the station. "So where were you guys headed?"

"Florida, we got family there." The girl spoke in an upbeat voice with a heavy accent, definitely not American but neither you nor Bo could place it. "Our mother's birthday is coming up and we got her the best present." She was really excited, it almost upset you because you knew that she wasn't leaving this place alive. "Oh we never gave you our names! I'm Dakota and that's Matt."

The four of you approached the garage and Bo unlocked the door and the two soon to be wax figures stepped inside and started looking for whatever parts they needed while you and Bo watched them, you were leant up against the wall with your arms crossed over your chest with your eyes on Matt who was stealing his own glances from you with a subtle smile that Bo caught on to as well as you.

While Bo was paying attention to Matt's movements and looks, Dakota was practically staring Bo down like he was the last meal on Earth. When Bo had finally caught on he just winked at her and tried to approach her but she shook her head and pointed to her brother who wasn't even paying attention to what was happening right next to him. She mouthed to Bo something along the lines of "Let's get out of here."

Dakota then walked past and Bo furrowed his eyebrows as he watched her approach the bathroom door and push it only for not to move. "Yeah it's out of order, a'ven't gotten around to fixing it yet but the one up at my place works just fine if you're desperate." Dakota didn't hesitate and nodded. "Alright, won't be too long you two." As Dakota and Bo exited the garage he gave you a small nod and dropped a key into your hand, you looked over at Matt who wasn't really paying attention as he grabbed something off the shelf and drop it, idiot.

You rolled your eyes but walked over. "Let me get it." You knelt down and began picking up the part he dropped. "Be glad this isn't valuable. Bo would've killed you." Matt looked down at you and smiled, awkwardly running a hand through his hair.

"Bo's your boyfriend or something?"

You laughed, a little over exaggeratedly but it could've just come off as you being embarrassed. "No, no, he's my brother in law." You picked yourself off the floor and put the part back onto the shelf and dusted your hands off. "Well, ex-brother in law I guess. That funeral was for my sister, his wife."

"Oh, sorry. I was just wondering because you're really hot."

You really wanted to punch this guy but this was the crap you had to put up with whenever you met the victims, although, you didn't expect to mark "tell-me-about-your-trauma-then-i'll-sleep-with-you" off of your 'Stupid Shit Victims Say Bingo'. So instead you got closer and didn't fix your dress as the fabric began to bunch again, it was so uncomfortable but you knew this all meant nothing so you were good.

"You think I'm hot?" The sentence fell off your tongue with a purr, a part of you realised that those acting lessons and improv classes you took before coming to Ambrose actually meant something. "You know, Bo's gonna be a while. It is quite a walk up that hill." You reached for the buttons on Matt's shirt and he looked over at something before watching you.

"Does that bathroom have a key?" Heat rose in your face as it definitely turned a bright ass red, you could be seductive but you couldn't control exactly how you responded. You broke away from the man and pretended to look for a key as you quietly set the key down on the bench beside you - Matt didn't see you do this, he was busy "messing" around with the buttons on his shirt.

You picked up the key and glanced at Matt before spinning around and holding it up. "Found it-" He was already on you, he'd picked you up and sat you on the bench and a furious make out session began. The key fell out of your hand and disappeared somewhere on the floor but neither of you cared as Matt's lips left yours only to reconnect with the skin on your neck. You didn't want to admit it but he was really good, so much more passionate than Bo but also a lot softer but who cares about Bo right now?

You're only doing this because of Dakota.

Matt began getting adventurous, a hand went up your dress while the other one slipped the sleeves down your arms. You felt devious but you were also worried about how Bo would react since you've never gotten this far with a victim before - and as if time wasn't on your side, you heard the door to the garage open while Matt was too distracted by you to notice Bo was now standing a few feet away from the two of you.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Matt jumped back and you pushed yourself off the bench, readjusting your dress while Bo stared at Matt even more furious than you've seen him before - and that's saying A LOT.

"L-Look man-"

"Don't you fucking L-Look man me!" Bo grabbed Matt by the fabric of his shirt and slammed him into the wall, Matt tried to fight back but Bo just slammed him into the wall again. "Open the fucking basement door, now!" He yelled at you, oh, he was pissed.

You didn't waste a second before opening that door and neither did Bo as he pulled Matt down. You followed behind him and tried to help with keeping Matt down but Bo just pushed you aside as he tied Matt up within seconds. Matt screamed, screamed for Dakota, screamed for anyone who could hear him in this ghost town. "Scream all you want, nobody's gonna hear 'ya." He leaned in close to Matt and smiled before he turned to face you. He didn't say anything, he grabbed you and dragged you out of the cellar and closed the door.

You tried to talk to Bo but he didn't listen. You didn't know where he was taking you and a part of you didn't want to know, you began to struggle as his grip got tighter and you tried to pull yourself away from him and at one point you were successful. Bo looked furious as you pulled away from him and stared up at him with glassy eyes. "What the fuck was that? I leave you alone with a guy and next thing I see is y'all fucking!"

"We didn't have sex! We were just kissing and it went a little too far."

"A little? That's what you call a little?"

"Well you and Dakota were eyefucking right in front of me!" Bo just stared at you before turning away.

"You're jealous." He laughed before raising his voice. "You think that the shit they say to you don't make me jealous either?"

"This was all your idea! You're the one who said that seducing victims would work!" You sighed, taking your time to contain yourself before speaking again. "So where's Dakota now?"

"Vincent's handling her now." Bo paused and stared at you for a second and you swore you saw the light bulb that replaced his brain - if we're being completely honest here since he's got 0 thoughts - light up as he suddenly got close to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. "You know what has to happen now, right?" Bo played his unfair game with you and you lost, either you were about to get punished or you were going to have to watch Bo torture this guy you had no feelings for.

#slasher #writing #horror #bo sinclair #house of wax #house of wax 2005 #i am very uninspired #rushed ending sorry

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fangirlings-things · 3 years

Text

Goodbye [2/2]

➤ PART. 1

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Word count: 4.9K

Warnings: heavy angst, mentions of death

A/N: just a lot of angst (again)!!! thank you guys so much for all the positive feedback and the notes, the messages, everything was amazing so thank you so much, you guys have no idea how much it means to me to see you enjoy my writing!! I hope you guys like this final piece, as usual, let me know your thoughts 💖

GIF IS NOT MINE || TAG LIST CRIMINAL MINDS: @imaginesofyourfandom ; @locke-writes ; @regalbanshee || GOODBYE TAG LIST: @amordesiempre01 ; @hiiwouldlikesomesleepplease ; @clairedragonessbaker ; @crazyshannonigans ; @ohhersheybars ; @messyhairday-me ; @joyofbebbanburg ; @horriblyquirkyasthmatic ; @basssalvatore2 ; @mac99martin ; @auds24 ; @captainhyenafan ; @uwu-sebastianstan ; @xoprincessmel ; @detective-time-lady ; @haylaansmi ; @tclaerh ; @spencie-reid1864 ; @dreamy-moments

In. Out. In. Out.

Hotch had been trying to control his breathing by thinking about those words. Over and over again, non-stopping. The air seemed tinier, yet heavier. Too dense. Sitting at the passenger seat of an SUV, he looked out through the window to the fields that seemed to be passing by. Rossi was driving too fast, but Hotch wanted him to slow down. He did not want to get to their destiny. Had no intention of doing so.

The countryside of Oklahoma City was illuminated by the sunlight of the middle of the afternoon. Farm houses could be seen here and there, with people walking around, doing their jobs. Animals ate and walked around their owners lands. The world was in place, still spinning, and that felt wrong to Hotch. Extremely wrong. You were gone, the world was supposed to be a horrible place. Things couldn’t just go on like nothing had happened. It couldn’t.

He had accepted that when the line went silent before. You had said your goodbye. You were gone. He had lost you. After the rest of the team had left that room, to probably continue to work to take their minds elsewhere, he stayed there, unable to move. He stared to that phone, and a voice in his head said nothing would ever be the same again. He had survived through Hailey. Could he survive through this? Losing you? He doubted it. He really did.

He just wanted silence and to be alone. To mourn you unstoppably like he new you would not approve, but still, he had to. But then David had entered the room again and said that Garcia had something. And even though Hotch had said he wasn’t interested in knowing whatever it was, David told him anyway. He said that when she left the room, she tried to triangulate the source of the call and was able to narrow down the location to a certain region. From there, Emily helped her with the profile that had been built and Reid added it to his geographical profile. Turns out, they could find the origin of the call. The place where you were. Where you had been, at least.

Hotch had told them that he did not want to go. He did not want to go and see your dead body laying around, disposed like he had seen so many other victims before. To see it… he couldn’t. He told the others to go, to arrest the unsub, he did not care. Because even though he did promise you that he would catch the man, he couldn't do it then. He wanted nothing but you back, but that he couldn’t have. And that thought destroyed him.

He had been dragged to the car anyway, Morgan literally pulled him by the arm all the way out of the station. ‘(Y/N) made you promise to catch this guy and you did. Now you go and keep that promise' he had said firmly, and that phrase made Hotch’s chest ache even more than it already did.

As the fields continued to pass, he thought about all you had done together on the past few weeks. You had taken Jack to a park and made a picnic. He had found you asleep in his office and covered you with a blanket he had laid around from one of his to-go bags. You had shared a rushed meal on your way to the airport, just a couple of burgers and soda. You had placed fries in his mouth while he was driving and you both had laughed hard on that day.

“Aaron” his name was spoken just by his side. It brought him back to the hateful reality. He sighted heavily. Live in memories had never felt so good. Turning to his side, he saw that David was looking at him with a careful expression on his face. “We are here”

Those words took a few seconds to make sense. At first he just frowned, but then realization came and his eyes snapped through the window and he saw it. A barn, right next to a small farm house. Both looked old and abandoned, the field around had clearly not been taken care of for a long time now. It was there. You were there. Your body, that being.

He got out of the car before David could say anything else. Before he himself even realized what he was doing. His hand just opened the door of the SUV and his legs were set into motion, taking him out of the vehicle and advancing several steps in the direction of those two constructions. He felt like something was pulling him in that direction, even though he felt the urge to actually run in the opposite direction. Would he be able to ever forget the sight of your body if he found it?

“Hotch! Wait” one of the car’s doors was slammed behind him and then Morgan came running towards him and stopped at his front, putting a hand on his FBI vest to make him stop from going forward. “The unsub is probably armed. You can’t go in there like this”

“Right” he mumbled to himself, lowering his eyes to his waist where he always carried his gun. He took it in his hands, feeling the weight of it like he always did. His voice sounded strange, even to himself. It carried nothing. It was the sound a ghost would make if he could be heard. He did feel like a ghost, just not feeling the pass of time and seeming unaware of everything going around.

Morgan watched him carefully until Rossi, Prentiss and Reid joined them. All of them had their guns in hand and seemed more than ready to bring an end to that nightmare. Rossi was the one who took command of the situation. “Spencer and I will take the farm house. Hotch, Morgan and Prentiss, you take the barn. Be careful, okay?” Prentiss and Morgan nodded in agreement. Hotch did not do anything.

When Morgan and Prentiss moved, he moved. He followed them with calculated steps and an erratic breathing, that came from the sense of panic he was feeling growing little by little inside of him. He saw Morgan pushing the doors of the barn open. From holes in the roof, light illuminated the place that once might have been dark even during the day. He saw Prentiss pointing her gun around as she looked for anything suspicious or a movement of any nature. He walked along with them, pointing the gun randomly, mind fogged and confused. Morgan took the front. Prentiss the right. He went left, to the corners, and that’s when he saw. You.

The first thing he noticed was that you were wearing your dark blue jeans. He hadn’t noticed that before, when you had gone out to follow a lead, but now he did. You were laying on the cold ground, hair spreaded around in a mess that used to be in his pillows by the morning. Your white tank top was a complete mess, teared apart in the belly, where you had been stabbed at least three times. Blood. Blood everywhere. Your face was turned away from him.

He fell to his knees, just realizing such thing when the impact seemed to crawl all the way up to his brain. The tears he thought had ended, came back as if to prove a point to him and instantly started to fall down. Always falling down. He wanted to look away. He need to look away. But how could he do so? You were just laying there. Left behind like some broken object. You had without a doubt been treated as such by the unsub. He wanted to scream. He wanted to sob. But quickly he realized he couldn’t emit any sound. Wasn’t able to.

“Prentiss! Here!” Hotch heard Morgan scream suddenly and he watched as the agent ran towards your body and threw himself to his knees to grab your dead body and bring it towards him. “Dammit, (Y/N)” he said, in the verge of tears.

Hotch finally fell completely down and placed his arms on his knees, then leaned his head down on it. He stared at the could ground and cried. And cried. And cried some more.

“Oh my God” Prentiss said from a few feet away, then she ran towards Morgan and also leaned down, from the sounds Hotch heard. Silence filled the barn as the three of them tried to accept reality. Emily was crying hard when suddenly, she spoke again. “What?”

“(Y/N) has a pulse” Morgan said, his voice seeming to come from far, far away. It was unsure, did not have any confidence. But then after a few more seconds of silence, his voice grew louder. “Emily, it’s a pulse! Get Rossi and Reid here!”

Hotch heard with a confused mind as Prentiss ran away towards the entrance of the barn and shouted for the other two agents. Her voice echoed through the fields. As it did, Hotch raised his head slowly and looked back to where you were. Morgan held your body loosely against his chest, an exasperated expression on his features. His eyes were fixed on the leader of the unit. “Hotch, (Y/N) has a pulse!” as the words seemed to have no effect on the other, he became more desperate. “Hotch, (Y/N)'s alive! Alive, Hotch!”

Hotch got up to his feet and walked towards your body and Morgan, stopping himself from believing that. From having hope. Once close he went down on his knees again and from up close, he saw your face. Eyes closed, blood in the corners of your mouth. The mouth he had kissed so many times. The face he caressed with his fingertips whenever he could.

“Here, Hotch, give me your hand” Morgan demanded and before the other could even do so, he grabbed Hotch’s hand and pressed it to your neck. Your skin was cold. It frightened him. He was about to move his hand away when he felt it. Just a little pumping under his finger. A pulse.

“Alive” he mumbled to himself, trying to set his mind straight. Trying to come to terms with the fact that you weren’t gone. You could still be saved.

“Yes, Hotch, alive!” Morgan smiled out of pure joy as he passed your body into Hotch’s arms and quickly took off his vest and then shirt. With a lot of skill he wrapped the clothing around your bleeding stomach, doing the best he could to prevent the bleeding from keep happening. “We have to get to an hospital”

It was as if Hotch had just been struck by a lightning. He felt filled with an odd energy, that set him into motion in an instant and made him get up with you wrapped in his arms carefully. He ran out of the barn as fast as he could without wanting to hurt you more, passing by Rossi and Reid on the way. “To the car. Now! We have to go!” the firmness in his voice, going back to how it usually was, made the others move as well.

He got in the back of the SUV with you still in his arms. Reid got to the passenger’s seat and Morgan got the wheel and set the car in movement as fast as he could. Rossi and Prentiss took the other vehicle. “Garcia!” Reid’s voice was loud and filled with urgency. “I need you to give me directions to the closest hospital to where we are. Now!” a few silent seconds. “(Y/N) has a pulse”

Hotch had his eyes sat on your face as all of that happened, fingertips running through your face and hair as he fought back more tears. Hope. He had to grab himself to hope right now that it was possible. Your breathing was barely there, chest almost not moving at all. But it was still there.

Still there.

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

“What about the unsub?” J.J asked the others, with her arms crossed over her chest and a heavy look on her face. Just the mention of that man disgusted her.

Hotch sat at one of the hospital's reception chairs, elbows on his knees and eyes on the too clean floor. So different from the barn's. Hours had passed since he had stormed into the E.R with you in his arms. Hours had passed since you had been taken to surgery and disappeared through many doors with doctors all around you. He hadn’t had news since. Any. At all. So all he did was sit there and wait, hoping, praying, wishing and listening to the others talking, without saying anything.

“I found him” Morgan, who now wore a shirt Garcia had brought to him on her way there, said, and Hotch could feel his stare upon himself from the corner of his eye. Even though he was not looking at them, he did pay some attention to that part of the conversation. Honestly, the unsub had not even crossed his mind until J.J mentioned him. All his focus was on you. “He was dead. Shot in the stomach. Bled out. For the way there was a gun left a few feet away from his body, my guess is that (Y/N) managed to shot him before or after being stabbed. He tried to leave by the back exit of the barn, but didn’t make it”

“Good” Reid said with conviction, getting nods of agreement from both David and J.J. He had his hands on the front pockets of his pants and his eyes kept on going to the door through where doctors had been coming to notify other people about their loved ones. He was impatient. Everyone was.

“(Y/N)'s a fighter” Prentiss said in a proud tone. She had been unable to keep a smile away from her lips from the very moment Morgan had said you had a pulse. Even though she was still worried if you would pull through, she was hopeful. Maybe too hopeful, but no one could blame her right then.

“Hey” the proximity of the voice made Hotch raise his eyes, only to be met by J.J's sight standing by his side, lips squeezed in a thin line and hair tugged behind her ears. She sat at the empty chair beside his and joined her hands over her lap. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m not” Hotch pressed his palms together, sighting heavily. They were sweaty, shaking quite a bit. He squeezed them, trying to stop that from happening. “J.J, what if…”

“Stop” the blonde cut him short, so firmly that he fixed his eyes on her in surprise. She was determined, like she usually was when she decided the case they would be working on nextly. “Don’t go there. Don’t torture yourself like that. (Y/N) is going to pull through”

“Are you sure about it?” the question was made weakly, tone just above a whisper. Maybe not even to her. It was more like a unstoppable thought that he desperately wanted to shake away.

J.J opened her mouth to try to formulate an answer but before she could the doors Reid kept on watching were opened and a doctor in scrubs passed through them. He looked around the reception and then fixed his eyes on the FBI team. He started walking towards them.

Hotch got to his feet and started to walk forward, to meet the doctor halfway. The doctor sat his eyes on his face. Even though Hotch was a profiler, in that moment he had no clue what that man was going to say to him.

It scared the hell out of him.

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

You opened your eyes slowly, to then quickly shut them again. The light. It hurt. It was too bright. You tried to take a deep breath. It also hurt. You set your breathing into shallow ones, those you could handle for now. After several moments, you tried to open your eyes again, right eye before the left one. ‘Baby steps', you thought to yourself, mind a bit fogged and confused.

It took some time, but then the place you were in started to get into focus. The walls were extremely white. You were laying in something soft. Soft. So different from the barn. The barn… suddenly the pain you were feeling made sense. You had been stabbed. Did you die? Had that been it? Falling into unconsciousness and everything just stopped? Just like that?

“(Y/N)?” the voice was so sudden it scared you. Made your eyes snap to your left side and then you saw him. Sitting at a chair, elbows resting on the bed you were on. His face was close, eyes incredibly red making it clear that he had been crying. Short hair a bit messy, so unlike the usual organization he always valued. “(Y/N)?”

“A-Aaron?” your voice sounded shaky, deep. Your throat was very dry, and you could feel it burning a bit, as if you had just taken a shot of whiskey. Oh, you could really use one of those.

He smiled, chuckling a bit as his eyes got filled with tears. He fought with them for a second, trying to hold them back. “I’m here, babe. I’m right here” one of his hands travelled to the top of your head and he kept it softly there, stroking the strands of your hair gently.

“How…?” the question died in your dry throat, as you frowned, looking for a possible answer. A thought occurred to you and it made you stare at him in fear. “Hotch, if you died too, I’m going to be really pissed”

He chuckled a bit. God, that did sound exactly like something you would say. Even haven just gotten out of a major risk surgery. “I’m not dead. Neither are you” he saw the relief in your features and smiled. He thought about the fact that he probably had never given someone a smile as pure as that one. How he was feeling… he couldn’t even begin to describe it.

“B-but the call… the barn…” you began, because that did not make sense at all. You remembered perfectly making that call, saying your goodbyes to him and the team. How could you have survived that, when you had already admitted to have been beaten?

“Garcia triangulated the call. She narrowed the location. Reid used his geographical profile and the others crossed references with men with criminal records in the area” the words just slipped across his lips, one after the other. Now that he knew you were okay, he stopped to think about how great had been the other’s work. If they hadn’t done that… well, he tried to push away that terrible thought. “They found your location. They found you”

“They?” you echoed his saying, confused by the choice of words. Usually, there wasn’t a 'we' in that team. It was a 'we'. And 'we' only.

Hotch swallowed dry at the questioning. He averted his eyes from yours and being a profiler, you recognized that body language. He was embarrassed. Feeling guilty. “After your call, I… I lost my ground. I froze” he squeezed his lips on a thin line. “They did everything on their own, I helped with nothing. In the barn, when we found your b-body” he struggled with the word for a bit. “Derek was the one who approached you and noticed you had a pulse. I had given up hope. All I did was sit down and cry” he sighted heavily, obviously trying not to cry right then and there. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I should have reacted. I shouldn’t have sent you out there in the first place, it was my fault”

“Aaron” you slowly managed to move your hand enough to grab his, that still stood in the bed. Your touch on his skin finally made his gaze travel back to your face. You felt that usual spark of excitement when your eyes met. “Nothing is your fault. You were in shock. If this happened to you, I would have reacted in the exact same way. So, please, don’t go there” he nodded in agreement, but you could see that he would struggle with the matter still. For how much you knew him, you guessed that for quite a long time. However, you would be there for him. As you thought everything that had happened, you suddenly got agitated. “What about the unsub? Did you get him?”

“You were the one who got him, babe” Hotch said, and his words made more memories come into place. The stabbing. The fact that when that man was about to pull away from your bloodied body, you grabbed his gun and managed to shoot him. Just a single press to the trigger, that took all the strength you still had. You could still hear that awful sound ringing inside your head.

“I shot him” you said, and he nodded in confirmation.

“He tried to run, but I suppose you got one of his main organs. He died right there, a few feet away from where you were” he told, Morgan’s speech from earlier becoming quite useful. In that moment, he was grateful for having paid attention at all.

You had killed him. You did that. You won. “Good” was the only thing you said, and he chuckled. You smiled softly at him. “What?”

“Reid said the exact same thing” he said, still stroking your hair.

“Reid” you echoed the Doctor’s name, thinking about him and the others. About how much you would like to see them. In that barn, you had realized just how much you loved all of those people. People who used to be only your co-workers in the beginning of that job, but now were your family. “I-is the team here? Can I see them?”

“I’ll tell them to come in right now” Hotch kissed your forehead for a long moment, got up from his chair and disappeared through an open door in the corner of the room. Looking around the white walls and being able to hear only your own shallow breathing, you instantly wished to not have sent him out. You feared that being alone, would send you right back at that barn with nobody but that man. The unsub.

Before you could start to really panic though, Hotch got back, passing by the door. But this time, he was accompanied by the others.

“There you are” Emily was the first one to approach your bed, smiling like you had never seen her smile before. She seemed radiant, utterly happy. The fact that it was because of you, warmed your heart. “I knew you would pull through. You’re a badass” she got your hand in hers and squeezed it tightly, making you smile.

“Hey, sibling. I’m glad you’re okay” Spencer was the next one to approach you, as Emily got a spot close to one of the white walls. His saying was clearly a reference to the fact that you had said to consider him the 'brother' you never had, and that made you realize something.

“Y-you all heard that call?” you asked, looking around the room, to all of those familiar faces.

“Every single word” David confirmed your theory, a sympathetic smile on his lips. “We’re sorry for invading your privacy like that, but… honestly we couldn’t leave. And Aaron… it was better not to leave him alone in there” he looked at his side at Hotch, who had crossed his arms over his chest and was looking a the floor for a few seconds.

“I’m glad you didn’t” you said to David and your words made Hotch’s eyes raise to meet your face again. As you smiled reassuringly, he was able to smile too.

“And as for me marrying again, I’m not going to promise anything. What if I met a person who would be an wonderful ex?” Rossi said, making everyone roll their eyes and laugh. You tried to laugh, but your chest hurt too much, so you turned out to just cough a bit.

Hotch reassumed his position at the chair by your bed on that exact moment. “Don’t push too hard” his hand went back to your hair, as you agreed. ‘Baby steps', you reminded yourself.

J.J then came close, eyes filled with tears. She touched your arm gently, smiling. “I’m so glad you’re fine” she leaned down, kissed your forehead and then stepped back as you were only able to smile at her.

“I already made you three playlists” Penelope said as she was the one who now approached you, her eyes were red. She had clearly been crying very recently. You wished you could hug her. “One for your time here in the hospital, one for your recovery time at home and one for when you get back to work. I tried to include versions of Hotch singing 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' or 'Every breath you take', but he didn’t think my idea was too great, so” she shrugged, in that good humored way of hers. You fought back the urge to laugh. The others did.

“Now that, would be stuff I wish to hear” you looked over at Hotch, smiling. He mumbled 'not going to happen' in a serious, smiling way that made you bite back a laugh. You looked back at Penelope, reaching your hand out to hers. She grabbed it. “Thank you, Penelope. Thank you so much”

As she stepped back, you saw Derek standing behind her. His expression was serious, a bit sad even. As he got close, you saw that he was squeezing his lips tightly. “You do know you scared the hell out of me out there, right?” After you mumbled out a ‘sorry’, he grabbed your hand. “Now, you focus on getting better so we can have those pizza nights you talked about”

“Now that’s a plan” you said, and he nodded in agreement, face cracking up in a smile. You felt good from seeing him smile. After a few more seconds Derek stepped back too, and you looked at all of them, standing there, watching over you. “Thank you, guys. For finding me. For caring. For… for everything” you took a breath as deep as you could take, trying not to let tears fall down. “Now please, go to the hotel, rest. I know you’re all probably extremely tired”

“Actually, due to your physical work preparation, we could have more eight sleepless hours before…” Spencer said, and hearing him rambling like that again felt as music to your ears. Seeing the look in your voice though, very serious about them going to get some rest, he stopped talking.

“We will be back first thing in the morning” J.J assured, with that defining tone of hers that let you no doubt she would keep that promise.

“At the very first light” David agreed.

“Don't go out killing bad guys without us in the meantime” Emily winked at you, still smiling.

“We love you” Derek said, seriously.

“And I love you all” you said, running your eyes through all of them. Then, you watched as one by one, they left the room and then it was like it had been in the beginning, just you and Hotch. You closed your eyes for a long moment, just enjoying the feeling of his touch in your hair. When you opened them again, you met his gaze. “It’s selfish, but c-can you stay?”

Hotch stared at you as if you had just told him the most absurd thing in the world. “(Y/N), did you really think I would leave? I’m not getting out of here until you do” the sight of satisfaction you emitted could not have been held back.

“We can share the bed” you suggested, smiling.

“I’m completely fine with this chair” he kissed one of your hands, bringing it close to his lips before placing it down again, with his over yours. You saw a thought run through his features and before you could ask, he spoke his mind. “Will you marry me, (Y/N)?” you were speechless, incapable of saying anything. You thought how much your admittance on the call to having found the ring would have hurt him. “I had the ring in that drawer for months now. With the job, and everything… I was waiting for the perfect moment to ask but almost losing you like this made me realize that there is no such thing. My perfect is whenever I’m with you. And that’s what I want. I want to marry you”

Hearing that, you could no longer stop the tears. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you”

Hotch smiled, chuckling too. His eyes were filled with tears. “Good, because I was beginning to think that you had only accepted because you were in the verge of dying”

You rolled your eyes, but smiled back. “How did you guess?”

He chuckled a bit more and then kissed your forehead again, like he had done before. “I love you”

Looking at him, the man you loved, you thought about how lucky you were. To have him. To be alive. To have that team. Being so close to dying like that, made you see just how important what you did was. You put away bad people, like the man who had kidnapped you. You saved others. And to be honest, you couldn’t wait to get back on the job.

“I love you too”

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