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#god it does feel nice working on something!
pinknipszz · 9 hours
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IT'S BUZZCUT SEASON, ANYWAY
⤷ gojo satoru, ryomen sukuna, and fushiguro toji
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SATORU thought it was going to be a harmless prank. hair grows back after all.
well. he didn’t anticipate his “harmless prank” to cause this much emotional distress. 
“it’s so ugly!” you scream, hiding your tear-stained face in your hands in a desperate attempt to forget the horrific image of your sweet, sweet boyfriend and his white buzzcut. entirely dismissive of the fact that you’re in a public setting—a park, actually—satoru quickly scoops you up in his arms with consolation on his lips.
“it’s not that bad baby,” he swears. “it’ll grow back in a few weeks anyway.” you spiral at his words as images of that vile haircut flash in your mind. after putting you back on your feet, satoru tries to pull your hands away from your pretty face, but his efforts turn futile once he hears something along the lines of: “it is that bad!” 
it comes out as a hoarse, incoherent muffle, but he understands it nonetheless.
“i’ll wear a wig!” he blurts out desperately. "there's a shop down the street. we'll buy one right now." your shoulders stop shaking as you fall silent, and for a moment, satoru thinks he made the right choice of words. however, when you barrel into another fit of loud sobs, an unretrievable part of him chips away.
with a heavy heart, satoru sighs and holds you against his chest, cradling your head. he really fucked up this time. people throw him strange looks, but others—especially women—only sigh and shake their heads sympathetically at your anguish. no one can really blame you for reacting like this anyway. 
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“SUKUNA,” you gasp in awe at the sight of him. 
you’re hardly seated yet, but the thin glass shield does little to spare him from the bewildered look on your face as you gawk at the short, neat buzz in place of his usual slick back. he feels his eye twitch.
when the officer coughs behind him, sukuna throws a mean look over his shoulder before ripping the telephone off the wall and holding it close to his ear. he only gets to hear your sweet voice once a month, and he’ll be damned if you waste it on his hair. “don’t ask about it,” he gruffs out. “tell me what you’ve been up to.”
you blink once—twice, even—before mirroring his actions and grabbing the prison’s janky telephone (having done this so many times, you don’t even wince when you touch some mysterious residue left by the previous visitor). you try to speak, your lips curling around the syllables of a word, but not a single sound escapes your throat. 
sukuna rolls his eyes at your loss for words. “come on. talk to me, doll.” his light tap against the glass earns him a warning that you don’t quite catch from the officer, but by the quiet string of curses that leaves the receiver, you guess it must have something to do with cutting his minutes. which you absolutely did not want.
“i think it fits you,” you say hurriedly. “you have a nice face, so the buzz works really well.” your delivery wasn’t the most elegant, and you might have even stuttered in between, but sukuna nearly groans when he hears you again. god he misses you. more than you miss his pretty pink hair.
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TOJI thinks his life can’t get any worse—or at least that’s what he thought before getting into a car accident last week. by the grace of god, toji survived with only a few minor injuries, but his hair, now full of a million tiny glass shards, wasn’t so lucky. once he realized that they were impossible to wash out, toji knew there was only one thing left to do.
a loud shriek echoes through the apartment. 
“toji—why are you bald?” you point an accusatory finger at your boyfriend of three years, standing in the middle of your bathroom with a towel around his waist. maybe under different circumstances, you’d be drooling over the delicious sight, but how could you possibly do that when his hair is so close to his scalp!
toji simply won’t stand for this slander. now don’t get him wrong. he loves you more than anything in the world, but the last thing any guy wants to hear is his name and the word “bald” in the same sentence. “i’m not bald goddamnit!” he barks back with equal ferocity. “it’s called a buzzcut. get it right, woman!”
the hilarity of the situation has you doubling over in laughter. tears are ruining your mascara, but you don’t half the mind to care, and neither does he as tension melts away from his shoulders. toji chuckles and shakes his head at your desperate wheezes. honestly, this interaction could’ve gone much, much worse.
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(masterlist) | (a/n: i don't think anyone else in the series would get a buzz tbh)
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fuckaperioddrama · 20 hours
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Draco Malfoy Headcanons
Warnings: Toxic!Draco | Bullying | Mentions of Rough Sex, BDSM, Choking, Worship/Praise Kink | Oral (F Receiving) | Mentions of Drugs and Alcohol | Let me know if I missed something.
Fem!Reader
Author's Note: I've got a love-hate relationship with Draco Malfoy.
Proofread, but might have mistakes.
Theodore Nott Headcanons
Mattheo Riddle Headcanons
Lorenzo Berkshire Headcanons
Blaise Zabini Headcanons
Tom Riddle Headcanons
Masterlist
Minors DNI | 18+
Draco Malfoy | Physique
5’11 | I don’t see him as being super tall.
Draco is more on the lanky side.
Working out? Physical labor? Absolutely not. | He plays quidditch for the attention. Genuinely hates sweating like ew. 
Resting bitch face. THE WORST resting bitch face. He looks like such a bitch, I can’t stress this enough. 
SO UNAPPROACHABLE 
But he is really pretty. | I know I say this for pretty much all of them, but that’s how you HAVE to describe Draco
Draco is pretty and no one can argue with me on this. 
Draco Malfoy | Personality
Dick
Genuinely awful to almost everyone
He’s a powerful person and he likes to let that be known. Always looks down on people who don’t share his status
He and Lorenzo have that same frustrating energy in very similar ways. 
Lorenzo is frustrating because he tries to pretend he’s not actually the worst.
Draco is frustrating because he just has so much audacity
“Hey, nice shirt.”
“Oh, thanks! I actu-”
“I’m kidding, that’s the ugliest fucking shirt I’ve seen in my entire life. Did you actually think I was serious? Where did you get that? The dump? Merlin, you look AWFUL! I can’t believe you left the house looking like th-”
| Regina George energy |
Was that necessary? No, but Draco doesn’t care. He hurt your feelings? OH WELL
He WILL laugh in the face of anyone who cries in front of him because why are you acting so pitiful?
Sure he just pointed out your deepest and most shameful insecurity, but geez pull yourself together.
He likes to remind everyone that no matter how hard they try they will never be him.
Because he’s Draco mother fucking Malfoy. | Duh.
FLAUNTS
Doesn’t know what humble means. If has it, he’s displaying it it.
Projects his insecurities onto others.
He treats others so poorly because that's how he treats himself. He is his own worst critic and he feels a lot of pressure from other influences in his life too.
Uptight. High Standards that everyone must meet.
Draco can still loosen upthough. He enjoys a good party.
Prefers to host so that he can control the guest list.
Whenever he doesn’t host he’ll complain the whole time because that guy would have never been let into one of his parties.
Draco smokes and drinks but it’s 50/50 on how messed up he gets
If he’s out with just Mattheo, Theo, and Enzo then he’s pretty sober because who knows what he’ll get into with those three.
If Tom or Blaise are there then he’ll go a little crazy because he knows those two won’t let anything too bad happen. | Mostly Blaise. Tom will only intervene if it’s for his benefit.
Draco Malfoy | Casanova
Draco is someone else I can see who targets other people's girlfriends
Whereas Theo does it only if their boyfriend pissed him off, Draco does it merely because he can.
Generally, Draco is very dominant in a toxic Alpha Male kinda way
He likes to go all out. Takes them on dates, wine and dine, fanciest restaurants, fanciest cars, just the whole nine.
He doesn't want them to talk much unless it’s to compliment him. He’s not so much doing the grand gestures to impress women. He’s mainly doing it to flex on other men.
He still cares in some way though because uhh
After the date, he takes them back to his room, and AHH
SO GOOD
He thrives off of pleasing his partner. If he can make a girl scream his name even ONCE he is walking around the next day like he is a GOD. | More so than usual.
Loves giving and he would never tell anyone to do this, but if you throw in some praise? One crumb of praise?? FERAL
He goes into overdrive. They thought he was good before, but if they praise him next thing they know their legs are shaking and they’re cramping so bad because they just can’t take anymore but it feels so fucking good so they will take it all with no complaints
Quite the reputation in bed.
Overstimulation, bondage, choking, anything to give him the control he wants.
But then he has someone extra special for the lack of control he needs. | I feel like this person is Pansy, but that’s a whole other story.
Draco wants to be a sub SO BAD, but he will only let those he trusts see that side of him.
One girl, MAYBE TWO! MAYBE
But even having one person who knows that side of him exists makes him so anxious so he will probably only stick to that one person.
Draco likes to talk about every single girl he fucks and he brags about his encounters regularly.
But he’s taking his secret Dom to the grave and he will gaslight the shit out of everyone if he is ever exposed. He REFUSES to let people know that side of him exists.
Draco Malfoy | Friend
Closest to Mattheo and Blaise | I KNOW PEOPLE DON’T PUT HIM IN MATTHEO TOGETHER HER! I EXPLAIN IT A LITTLE BIT IN MY MATTHEO HC BUT IT MAKES SENSE!
Draco is a good friend
He’s such a sweet guy once he gets comfortable around someone.
So supportive!! | Lucius and Narcissa loved to cheer for their baby boy so that’s how he treats his friends.
As long as it makes him look good!
If someone is playing a game with him and they’re on the opposite team then he is spending every second praying for their downfall
But if his friend is on the same team as him then he becomes so proud every time they do something right.
Look at his bestie out there showing everyone their skills and helping him win. | Go bestie!
Outside of his selfish nature, he doesn’t like to see his friends fail.
He gets really unhappy when he feels like he’s failed at something and so he projects those feelings onto others and in turn that makes him want to help his friends succeed.
He thinks if they don’t then they’ll feel the way about themselves that he feels about himself.
He will always make sure his friends have their notes, they’re in class, they’re eating, they’re studying, etc.
And if they’re doing any sort of presentation, performance, whatever he will be in the crowd like the proud parent he is.
Does not share.
If Blaise asks to use his Dior cologne he is absolutely saying no because he doesn’t want to waste any of it. | Only child behavior. No offense.
But he’ll go out the next day and buy Blaise his own.
“Here,” as he drops the box in front of him.
“Is this?”
“You said you wanted to try it,” he shrugs
“You didn’t have to buy me a bottle! You could have just let me use yours.”
“And why would I do that?”
Draco Malfoy | Boyfriend
He's so obvious when he's in love.
He genuinely treats you like you're some sort of a goddess.
Draco would not let you do anything.
He won’t do it for you, but he’ll find someone who will.
“Draco, why is Mattheo on a rampage in the library? I was walking by and heard Pince screaming at him.”
“I told him if he found that book you needed for your test I’d take him to the concert next weekend.”
“But you promised me I could go!”
“You are going.”
“Then why-“
“Shhhhhh”
You will always be his number one priority. Acts of Service
Draco will basically upgrade your life.
Does your water bottle leak sometimes? He’s already bought you a new one.
He presents you with gifts, but if it’s a replacement he usually switches them out and will tell you later.
You would need to communicate when something is sentimental because otherwise, he’s throwing it out for a new one
Door creaks? New door. The drawer won’t open properly? New dresser. Woke up with a sore back? New mattress.
He just bought the items, someone else replaced them.
Eventually, he’ll start doing some services himself too.
At first, it seems beneath him, but once he’s all in he doesn’t even have to think about it.
Puts his jacket on the ground because you want to sit and enjoy nature and he won’t let you get your outfit dirty
Will make sure to loosen up any skincare, food jars, or whatever he knows you regularly use so that you don’t have to waste time seeking him out to do it.
He knows when you’ll use them and gives himself time in his schedule to loosen them just before you need them.
Will not let you stress over anything.
The second you mention you have more than three things to do that day he’s already rejecting the idea.
“Oh, absolutely not. That’s way too much. I’ll have someone do that for you.”
He’s not letting you work. You’re too good to work.
A life of luxury, baby. Gift Giving
DRACO EXCELS IN THIS CATEGORY
You guys don’t even need to be dating for that long. On your third date, he shows up with a Birkin bag
His parents bought his love and that’s how he would treat his partner as well.
He would not let you pay for anything.
Same mentality as Theo where he just thinks it would make him look bad if you ever did pay for anything so it’s not happening. It doesn’t matter if you actually want to pay.
Why would Draco Malfoy let anyone pay for him? That’s so embarrassing.
Elevates your wardrobe. He wants to coordinate. Not so much matching outfits but if he’s wearing all black then you’re wearing all black.
Will be very controlling with this kind of stuff. He wants you to always fit his aesthetic. If he’s not wearing sweatpants then neither are you.
Why should you dress comfortably when he bought you 10 different dresses just in the last hour?
New shoes, makeup, nails, hair
Paying for your facial because his girl needs to relax.
And he’s in the chair next to you because all of those looks of disdain he gives out on the daily are giving him wrinkles. | Skincare King.
And to make sure his girl gets the best treatment
You deserve it all and he will show you that and tell you that every single day.
Little off-track Draco rant moment coming up.
I feel like when you first start dating Draco he will be a little judgmental and controlling. Like with what I mentioned about him wanting you to have a specific aesthetic
But when he falls in LOVE
He has this full-body reaction to every single thing you do.
You wake up in the morning your hair a mess, boob hanging out, crust all up in your eyes and he just looks at you and his stomach gets this queasy yet dull feeling and his mind is zeroed in on you. It’s like someone literally went into his brain and fully erased every single thought that wasn’t centered around you.
He feels the hairs raise around his body and he gets this rush of adrenaline from being both excited and so nervous because how the fuck is the most beautiful person in the world in his bed right now?
But the main thing he notices is his heart. This ache takes over his chest as he’s so overwhelmed with how much he loves you.
And to get it all out he HAS to tell you every single day. All day.
Words of Affirmation
Dating Draco means you have to be comfortable with compliments because he positively will not stop.
“The way this light is hitting you makes you look amazing.”
“I swear you’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen.”
It doesn't matter if you're eating, studying, or talking to your friend or professor he will always find the right moment to lean forward, his lips brushing against your ear as he tells you how beautiful you are.
Once more, when Draco is in love with you, for lack of a better word, he becomes the utmost simp.
Did you pass your exams? Just barely pass them?
“You’re so impressive. You’re so smart, I can’t believe I’m dating you. I’m so lucky.”
Style your hair differently?
“You’re so creative. How do you come up with this stuff? That’s amazing, you look so good.”
Cook eggs? The most basic meal ever or even if you don’t cook and just order out
“You always know exactly what I need. I’m so thankful for you. You always take such good care of me. I appreciate you so much.”
He doesn’t care how cringey he sounds. His girl is a goddess and she deserves to be worshipped. Both with words and with Physical Touch
Draco loves to touch you, but he’s not fully comfortable with PDA.
He was raised in a household where those things weren’t proper to display in front of others.
All of his PDA is very subtle. Your hands rest next to each other as you’re sitting down and he has two fingers gently rested atop of yours.
Standing next to each other somewhere and he has his hand gripping the back of your arm. Kind of his way of showing everyone who you belong. And also reminding you that he’s there. Just so you don’t forget about your lovely boyfriend.
When you’re with friends and the air is more relaxed he’ll keep an arm around your shoulder and softly play with your earlobe.
It’s all very subtle. Then when you’re in private he becomes so annoying
He needs physical touch and he needs it NOW
After class every day he needs at least a 20-minute cuddle session. 20 minutes and no less. He will build his entire schedule around this and will bitch out anyone who ruins his time with you.
He prefers to be the little spoon and he likes to rest his head very nicely upon your boobs
Back rubs are mandatory. You need to rub his back as soon as he lays down.
Playing with his hair isn’t a necessity, but it’s preferred.
However, if you are playing with his hair then you need to commit. Don’t just run your fingers through it once and call it a day.
“Baby, please. I can’t deal with this today. I’ve already had so many things go wrong, if you take your hand away from my head again I will frankly have a nervous breakdown.”
“Draco, calm down. It’s not tha-“
“PLEASE!”
He takes the Quality Time he gets with you very seriously.
Draco can be busy, he’s not that partner who is around you 24/7 but when he is with you he is fully devoted.
Anything that might distract him is getting pushed to the side and he is 100% yours.
Do you want to watch the same movie for the 6th time in two weeks? Fully invested. He knows every line. Even if he hates it he will never act like he’s uninterested or bored.
If it’s important to you then it’s important to him.
You want to rant about how that one person pissed you off again? All ears.
Do you simply want someone to go with you to the store, for a walk, or just do the most random thing? Of course, he will come. If you need him to do something? Great, he’ll help. Do you just want company? He will gladly be a figure in the background you can talk to when you want to.
Draco will never let you believe for a second he isn’t absolutely in love with you. His love is filled with such enthusiasm and care that it’s easy to see how much he wants you in his life
And in his bed | ;)
Draco Malfoy | Committed Lover
Remember when I said Draco likes to worship you?
IT IS BECAUSE HE HAS A WORSHIP KINK
He doesn’t like to be rushed during sex. You are the most ethereal being he has ever seen and he needs to take his time with you.
He has every detail of your body memorized because he loves to look at, feel, and taste every morsel of you.
Sprawled out against his bed, frustrated and desperate because Draco has spent the last 45 minutes kissing almost your entire body, purposely leaving out the spot you need him at most.
He may take 45 minutes to an hour just focusing on the rest of your body, but he saves your breathtaking cunt for last because he has to dedicate at least three hours to that
Munch.
It’s concerning how often Draco eats you out. If you let him I’m sure he would do it at least four-five times a day. On his knees with his tongue swiftly moving over your sensitive bud while he looks up at you in awe because you just look so pretty when you cry for him.
Draco would have a hard time teasing you or withholding anything.
It’s like he goes into a trance.
Cock being sucked into your achy cunt, squeezing him so tight he feels like he can’t breathe
And then your lashes flutter and your mouth parts and he just stares at you mindlessly as he continues to drill himself into you.
You’re so pretty he can hardly focus.
Draco is adaptable. He’s a switch, but he prefers to be a sub.
It’s when his worship kink and praise kink come out the most. He wants to worship you but he would like it if you praised him in the process for being such a good boy.
On his knees staring up at you as he runs his tongue from the top of your ankle all the way to the end of your hip.
You’re sitting down as Draco rests his head against your lap-begging, pleading for you to bounce on his cock and use him like the good little toy he is.
And you do.
Draco does so much for you. He would lay the world at your feet. It’s only fair that he gets a little treat.
————
hehehehehe
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glossamerfaerie · 2 days
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One aspect of Gwynriel that really excites me is religion. The other protagonists don’t seem to take religion or rituals very seriously? Everyone respects the Mother and acknowledges her power (and the Cauldron), but we haven’t explored faith among the fae. Feyre has a terrible experience with Ianthe (a sadly accurate depiction of corruption within organized religion). But we know that not all priestesses are like power-hungry Ianthe. Nesta is understandably indifferent even though she later has an experience with the Mother during Nyx’s birth. Rhys and Cassian seem respectful but we’ve never seen them pray or attend services. It’s giving “only attending church during Christmas” level of religious commitment.
Azriel, on the other hand… we haven’t had much canon insight in his head, but I firmly believe that Azriel is more religious than his brothers. Like he’s not the type to attend temple services, but he probably thinks about faith and the Mother regularly. Clearly he has contemplated mating bonds and who creates them — maybe he’s prayed for a mating bond? Maybe his mother raised him to be more religious. In HOFAS, after Nesta takes the mask off in a close call, Az’s very first instinct is to thank the Mother. Possibly that is meaningless (like how an atheist can say “thank god”) but idk. Az seems to have more faith than his brothers.
“The Mask fell from Nesta’s face, clattering on the stone.
Nesta swayed, but Azriel was there, catching her, bringing her to his chest, scarred hands stroking her hair. “Thank the Mother,” he breathed. “Thank the Mother.”
A few chapters later, Az describes the Cauldron and what happens after death.
“Bryce nodded to the carving. “What’s the big deal about a cauldron?”
“The Cauldron,” Azriel amended. Bryce shook her head, not understanding. “You don’t have stories of it in your world? The Fae didn’t bring that tradition with them?”
Bryce surveyed the giant cauldron. “No. We have five gods, but no cauldron. What does it do?”
“All life came and comes from it,” Azriel said with something like reverence. “The Mother poured it into this world, and from it, life blossomed.”
Later in the conversation, Az explains what happens to souls after death.
“When you die, where do your souls go?” Did they even believe in the concept of a soul? Maybe she should have led with that.
But Azriel said softly, “They return to the Mother, where they rest in joy within her heart until she finds another purpose for us. Another life or world to live in.”
The way Az talks about the Mother, with reverence and confidence, makes me certain that he’s more religious than his brothers.
Then, of course, we have Gwyn — a literal priestess who was raised in a temple. She still attends daily services and sings for the choir. I’ve wondered if what happened in Sangravah shook Gwyn’s faith. Maybe she thinks the Mother exists but isn’t a benevolent deity. Maybe she’s bitter that the Mother didn’t save her servants from Hybern attacks. She definitely feels shame and unworthiness — Gwyn no longer feels like she has a right to wear the Invoking Stone. Working through those feelings will be a major aspect of Gwyn’s arc.
“You asked me once why I don’t wear the hood or the Invoking Stone. That stone is a sign of holiness. How can someone like me wear it?”
Within the temple, Gwyn also faces prejudice and discrimination from her fellow sisters. Ianthe isn’t the only asshole within the organization (cough Merrill cough). I’m sure that some people in Sangravah were cruel to Gwyn’s family because of their nymph heritage. I don’t know what SJM has planned, but I feel that religion will play a major role in the Gwynriel book. I wouldn’t be surprised that, like Nesta, Gwyn has a firsthand experience with the Mother. She will definitely use the blue invoking stone for healing (a nice parallel to Az’s blue siphons).
“It’s an Invoking Stone.” Gwyn unfurled her fingers, revealing the gem within her hand. “Similar to the Siphons of the Illyrians, except that the power of the Mother flows through it. We cannot use it for harm, only healing and protection. It was shielding us.”
I’m also curious to see Gwyn and Az discuss their religious beliefs together. Maybe Az gets permission to join the dawn and dusk services. The man barely sleeps, he might as well watch Gwyn during her religious commitments. The shadows are NOT going to pass a chance to hear their girl sing (or watch her glow). Maybe Nesta can talk Az into singing with the choir. 🥹
Nesta could only gape at the lovely melody, the voices from the front of the cavern leading it, lifting higher than the others. Gwyn sang, chin high, a faint glow seeming to radiate from her. The music was pure, ancient, by turns whispering and bold, one moment like a tendril of mist, the next like a gilded ray of light. It finished, and Merrill spoke about the Mother and the Cauldron and the land and sun and water. She spoke of blessings and dreams and hope. Of mercy and love and growth.
Idk, maybe I’m wrong about Az being religious. But it feels like such a wasted opportunity if we don’t learn more about the Mother! At the very least, I do see Az attending the dawn and dusk services if he’s not on a mission. 🎼🩵🎶
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mydarlingbat · 3 days
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I freaking love this issue so freaking much. The whole concept of Batman Europa is absolutely amazing. It's fun. It's worth the read. Lets just point out that Batman has called the Joker his partner at the very beginning of Batman Europa #2 which leads me back to what I was saying in the relationship between Batman and Joker, that Batman always acknowledge that they're partners. Moreover Batman tries to pick a fight with the Joker while he's just talking to him. I mean give the man a break. He's not even trying to hurt Batman in this comic. He's behaving himself reasonably well, although we can't ignore the reality of Batman allowing the Joker to prefer himself as Batman's sidekick too.
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Now when he grasps the Joker's arm. We know it's not a firm grip. The Joker easily jerk his arm back, and then Batman reaches over to grab for his hand possibly again? Though he doesn't get to say anything else, because Nina interrupts them. I do feel like Batman needs to feel like their some Kind of contempt between the two of them, or a little disputing to feel like it's their usually pattern. It's their dance. He doesn't like to see this side of the Joker, and especially have to acknowledge it. The way the Joker keep informing to Bruce that they'll die together, and Batman doesn't even want to hear that. It got me laughing so much.
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Batman complimenting how fast the Joker is in this panel is just life. If that clown can move that fast you know he could have killed Batman, and he's infected too.
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Now the Joker just murder someone again, and Batman still works with him after this! And on top of that Batman trusts him? Like how???
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Batman doesn't even sound mad that the Joker just murdered someone? I mean he's actually just like yeah, let's finish up this journey. He doesn't even mention it later in the comic.
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Batman thought he was going to die, but the Joker saves his life, and he doesn't exactly want to acknowledge it, but he does anyways.
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I just love this page. The Joker eyes are to the side, like he's not exactly sure how to function right now. He doesn't know how to fit this into their relationship. I mean I love it. The awkwardness that's establish between both of them is so obvious. I can't stress enough of how much I admire this page. The way Batman doesn't even want to look at the Joker. Oh my god the way the Joker refuse to look at the Batman for a little while. The tension is thick. Batman's 'shut up' line is practically for the Joker when he says something true or something plain stupid. Batman constantly says shut up when the Joker says things about Batman caring about him, but the Joker tells Batman he loves him all the time, and Batman doesn't say shut up. I don't want to hear that, but Batman denies his own feelings towards him, so Batman despises the mention of him caring about the Joker. He tries to shut it down rather quickly. Batman and Joker feel the need to lay out some sort hostility, when they're not doing their usual routine, so the Joker tells Batman he regrets saving him. He's not happy about it. That makes the tension between them settle down a bit, but right after this the Joker saves Batman once again in Batman Europa #3 The Joker also immediately jumps back to Nina, to avert the attention somewhere else, which works.
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Batman still isn't exactly ready to look at the Joker, but the Joker goes over to have a conversation with Batman. Batman responds hostile as always, but Batman doesn't deny the Joker request exactly. He just reminds the Joker that they're dying, and the way the Joker gently and cautiously rests his hand on Batman's shoulder, making sure he's alright with him touching him right now is adorable and actually is nice.
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The fact that the Joker has to turn around to say those sweet words to the Batman. Let's me know they're not too familiar with this kind of thing.
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Batman now is comfortable enough to let the Joker freely touch him again. Batman doesn't deny it. He also doesn't inform to the Joker that they will never be friends, because deep down Batman knows that the Joker is his friend. It's just my opinion.
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darriness · 2 days
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Buck has never felt so hungover. He doesn’t drink a lot and last night he drank…more than a lot. There had been karaoke, hadn’t there? Oh God, he hopes there isn’t video.
And now he has to tell his sister on her wedding day that they’ve lost her fiancé.
At least Eddie’s here beside him, looking just as worse for wear. Or maybe even more so. Buck’s not sure why he even bothered with the collar of his shirt.
Telling his sister goes just about as well as he thought it would. She and Hen immediately start pacing, reaching for phones, and calling numbers so fast Buck’s not even sure they let the line connect before they start another call.
And he and Eddie stand there awkwardly. Immobile with hangover. And honestly, Buck wishes his parents weren’t here at the moment. He doesn’t overly care what they think anymore (okay maybe he does but he’s working on it) but he sort of wanted to see them for the first time since they…found out…a little more presentable.
Maddie had asked him if he wanted her to tell them before the wedding. So they wouldn’t go all ‘Phillip and Margaret Buckley’ and make fools of themselves when he showed up at the wedding with Tommy. Who is probably waiting for me downstairs looking gorgeous, Buck thinks with an inaudible groan.
But now it’s HIM making the fool out of himself wearing a ridiculous outfit, destroyed within an inch of its life, and more hungover than he’s ever been.
His dad coughs to break the silence between the four people not currently pacing around the room.
“Um,” Phillip says with an awkward shuffle forward, “You, um, must be Buck’s date. We’ve heard…a lot about you. Nice to meet you.”
It’s almost in slow motion as Buck watches his dad extend a hand toward…Eddie. He thinks Eddie is Tommy. He thinks Eddie is Buck’s date. Buck’s not sure if he wants to laugh or cry or vomit.
His parents, in their own weird way, are trying. And while he can’t forgive and forget, a part of him heals a little more in this moment.
And then he glances over at Eddie. Eddie, who is vacillating between looking at Buck’s father’s hand and Buck himself, straightening his ruined suit jacket like that will make it look any less ruined.
A weird feeling fills Buck’s chest at the gesture. His eyebrows furrow as something almost…unfurls behind his ribcage. Between the insinuation and Eddie’s reaction to it, Buck can’t make heads or tails of the increased beat of his heart. What…is happening?
“Dad, that’s Eddie. You’ve met him before. He’s not Buck’s date. Tommy is.” Maddie huffs from near the window; phone still at her ear as she rolls her eyes.
Phillip apologizes immediately and Buck thinks he tries to make a joke to lighten the mood but Buck’s now focused on the new feeling in his chest. The feeling that popped up right after Maddie set their father straight.
Disappointment.
What the hell is happening?
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hiratelier · 5 months
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Many thoughts running through my head as I prepare to upload my last UTAU cover of the year because I'll barely touch the silly singing robot program next year when I have more exciting things to work on...but even then it feels like you're saying goodbye to a close friend you've been with for almost 9 years
#mine#text#currently i am trying to finish a cover for my utaus' 9th anniversary next year and man#the spark for making robots singing usually isn't there nowadays but when it comes to my own utaus#god it does feel nice working on something!#this entire year i've been pumping out covers that first started as an outlet for my creativity#but then halfway into the year i kept getting into creative ruts and it was frustrating because i only limited myself to one outlet#so discovering animatics...gaining new interests...and picking up new skills has helped me branch out from utau significantly#but i will say that using utau bestow me lots of skills that will prove useful beyond just making utau content#i guess working on this one cover helped me reflect on that some more...but god it's kinda making me emotional#even most of my friends who used utau back in the good old days have moved on to other things now and i'm sort of in that boat...#it's not too fun trying to enjoy utau by yourself but honestly i think it all boils down to the fact that i was forcing myself to--#--enjoy using utau constantly. and that spark to create new covers just dies out.#i suppose that coming back to utau once in a long while to work on something nicd amidst working on other projects is something that's--#--more healthy for me yknow? i know i'm sort of betraying my utau-oriented audiences on youtube and bilibili with the way i've been slowly-#--moving away from utau and uploading other kinds of media and interests#but i'm opening up a new chapter for myself in making more oc media and animatics and they're more than welcome to stay along for the ride#i think i'm running into tangents at this point but what i'm trying to say is that for me uploading utau covers weekly was draining#and with me moving away to other projects and not being too hard on myself...my creative drive is slowly coming back#and maybe once in a while my creative spark for using utau apart from anniversary reasons will come back better than ever#and i will try to keep my own utaus alive as ocs apart from singing robot shenanigans and diffsinger development#it is a hobby i enjoy for myself after all and its not supposed to be a chore
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wolfxe · 8 days
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idk what it is about the way dungeon meshi portrays relationships but it feels so unique to me
i like all of the ships and also want none of them to be canon. it's fun to imagine literally all of them, but it's just as fun to examine the platonic relationships and what they mean
it's so refreshing to see marcille & laios' friendship but i totally get why people ship them. marcille & falin's devotion to each other is amazing to explore in any context. chilchuck & laios, laios & kabru, senshi & chilchuck, even toshiro & falin. literally every character dynamic no matter the romance/lack of it is so interesting to me
it really felt like a breath of fresh air getting into something where the relationships between characters felt both real and substantial the way they are, but also capable of being expanded upon and played with without feeling like they're betraying the main themes/ideas. man i love dungeon meshi
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kimjiwoong · 9 months
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I went on a random walk around my neighbourhood and I realized a few minutes in that I was accidentally taking the route I always took with my dog and now I'm literally heartbroken all over again lmao
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cinna-bunnie · 1 year
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i didn't immediately get a follow-up text saying someone i hung out with had a good time
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ban-joey · 1 year
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im fine. sorry for the andor spam. im fine and normal and not losing my shit about the last episode being in a few days. im totally okay with that. it’s fine
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puppyeared · 2 years
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Mr Craig’s cookies if I ever meet you in my lifetime I’d like to shake your hand
#THESE COOKIES QRE SO FUCKING GOOD? OH MY GOD?? I HAVENT EVEN TRIED THEM ALL UET?#I went downtown with my cousin walking around da city!! I had a lot of fun!!!#The Craig’s cookies guy was really sweet something about being called my dears awakened something in me. Like when the hot topic cashier#Calls me sweetheart of smth. OH YEAH I made friends with one of the hot topic ppl because she helped me apply and we saw each other again#Now that I’m working at spirit Halloween and she was like you’re adorable can I give u a hug and I’m like YEAAA BRING IT IN it was so sweet#ALSO ALSO I GOT!! MY FIRST BINDER!!! IT FEELS AMAZING I CANT DESCRIBE IT. ZOO WEE MAMA#NOW I CAN WEAR MY SHIRTS WITHOUT MAKING TJEM LOOSE AROUND THE FRONT TO HIDE MY CHEST ALL THE TIME WOO#also apparently AGO is free admission for ppl 25 and under real??? I need to remember that next time I want to see the 5th floor#SERIOUSLU THESE COOKIES ARE SO FUCKING GOOD#feels nice going out. I also had ramen for the first time and struggled so I gave up and ate the broccoli with my hands#but the actual soup was good!! I was kind of expecting the narutomaki cause I wanted to see what it tastes like#OO and salmon nigiri is yummy too I thought itd be spicy for some reason but it’s actually ballin. I wonder if they have tuna nigiri does#That exist? I wonder what would happen if I put butter on it or something#Also learned about the cardinal directions and I think I get it but it’s gonna take awhile for it to sink in my fat head lmao. But it’s#Definitely something I can practice when I’m going out to places!! Maybe it’ll stop me from spinning in place using my phones compass#Yapping
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sameteeth · 1 year
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god listening to my parents interact is like watching a car crash. but one car is staying on its side of the road + driving very calmly and obeying all traffic laws and the other car is also normal right up until it swerves violently to slam into the first car. then it honks and backs up and hits the first car again
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fairy-angel222 · 2 months
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𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩
—your boyfriend does not appreciate you, but his uncle toji does.
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pairing: toji x fem! reader
content: smut, cheating, unprotected sex, choking, petnames, praise, a little degradation, toji’s hot ass has tattoos, belly bulge, cumming inside you
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You couldn’t really pinpoint when things went wrong. When your boyfriend just lost interest in you. You couldn’t even date back the last time you had been fucked. Simply turning his body when you tried to start something, or using the excuse that he wasn’t in his mood and that you needed to stop being so needy.
But how could you? You just needed to feel something. Anything. You were so tired of using your fingers when he left for work. Or the shower head on your clit when you showered alone, which was now always.
Your relationship was failing, but you couldn’t find it in you to break up with him.
You were quite confused when your boyfriend invited you over for a dinner at his parents. Getting to meet all his family as he introduced you with a wide smile, hands on the small of your back to guide you from person to person.
There was somebody who stuck out like a sore thumb. And you couldn’t take your eyes off of the man was probably twice your age and most definitely twice your size. Tall, broad and muscular with tattoos of all shapes and sizes trailing down his neck and onto his toned arms.
You swallowed hard, ignoring the heat you felt in between your legs as you ogled the greek god infront of you. With his messy black hair and dark eyes, a smirk spread across his handsome face as he tilted his head to stare you down. Hands in his pockets as he strolled towards you, your hand gripping your boyfriend’s shirt as you felt yourself getting smaller and smaller under his gaze.
“Now who’s this pretty thing?” The deep voice questioned, looking down at you with the subtle bite of his lip as he let his gaze run over your figure. “You’re not gonna introduce your lil ole uncle to your girlfriend?”
Your boyfriend scoffed, rolling his eyes and pulling you closer into him. “I have no need to. Now beat it.”
You frowned at his harsh tone. Toji’s hands raising in defense as he chuckled. “Just trynna be nice.” His smirk widening when he turned to face you fully. “Now, what’s your name doll?”
Your knees grew weak at the deep rasp of his voice, avoiding eye contact when you felt yourself face getting hot. “uh.. y/n, my name’s y/n.”
Toji hummed, grabbing hold of your hand and bending down to place a kiss to the back of it. “Pretty name for a pretty girl.” He winked.
“Okay that’s enough. You can go now.” Your boyfriend fumed, your eyes never leaving the older man’s as he took his leave, leaving you with a short. “Nice to meet ya, doll” before he walked away.
“We’re leaving.”
Your eyes widened at your boyfriend’s words. “What? Baby why? Your family seems so nice we can’t just leave.” You tried to convince him.
“We can when you’re looking at my fucking uncle like he’s a five course meal.”
You resisted the urge to scoff, maybe you wouldn’t have to if he did what he was supposed to. “I promise you, i wasn’t. Now let’s at least enjoy an hour for dinner before we leave. Okay?”
Your boyfriend only scoffing before shrugging your arm off of him and walking away into the kitchen.
Great. This was just what you needed.
The dinner was awkward for you. Your boyfriend wouldn’t talk to you and kept glaring at his uncle. Who only added fuel to the fire by sending short smirks your way, his muscles flexing as he ate.
You couldn’t help the way your face flushed, fidgeting with the food in your plate as you bit down on your lip.
“Y/n, dear? Are you okay?” your boyfriend’s mother asked in genuine concern. “You have barely touched your food honey.”
You gave her a smile. “Sorry, i’m just feeling a little sick right now.”
“Oh dear, would you like to go to the bathroom? Darling, show her the way.” his mom insisted. Your boyfriend not even sparing you a glance when he spoke, “I’m sure she knows the way, mom.”
You sighed, a piece of you missing the relationship you once had. Giving a tight lipped smile and assuring her that you knew the way before getting out of your seat and heading to the nearest bathroom.
You stood staring at yourself in the mirror, rubbing at the bridge of your nose while telling yourself to get your act together. You gasped when the door swung open. A smirking Toji closing the door behind him and leaning onto it, his hands crossed over his chest as he looked you in the eyes.
“You know, for a girl pretty like you, you sure are stupid.” He laughed, “Don’t you see you deserve better than my scumbag of a nephew?” Closing the gap between you two until you were backed up against the sink’s counter.
Toji’s hand reached up to stroke gently under your cheek, trailing his finger across your lip as he bent his neck to look down at you. In turn looking up at him through your lashes when his other hand held onto your waist.
“You gotta know how a real man treats a lady. How a real man fucks. You want that doll?” Waiting for your shy nod of approval before sitting you on the cool marble top. Your legs hooked around his waist and your hands gripping the counter’s edge when his rough lips met yours. Kissing you hard before trailing soft bites down your neck, careful enough to not leave any marks.
You let out a moan, Toji’s hands moving to peel off his shirt so his rock hard abs were on display. Grinding lightly onto the hard surface with a whimper at the full sight of black ink spread across his pale skin. A grin on his face when he went back to attacking your neck, hand slipping under your dress and pressing against the heat of your panties.
“This wet for me already? I’m flattered.” His fingers making their way to rub between your folds through the side of the fabric. Collecting your wetness before dipping a finger into you. “Think you can take it doll? You’re so fucking tight. Practically a virgin again, how long’s it been since you were given a good fuck?”
You truly didn’t know the answer for yourself. Only moaning as Toji pulled off the lace material, spreading your legs wider and pulling his thick cock out the confinements of his jeans. You whimpered when Toji stroked his length, the size being bigger than anything you’d seen before. “‘S alright, ‘m gonna mold her round my cock.” he groaned, lining up with your sopping hole before slowly thrusting into you.
“Nnhg— so big, T-Tojii— can’t take it.” you mewled, Toji’s hand latching over your mouth to muffle your pleas as he forced himself deep into you. “Gonna make it fit doll, just sit real pretty for me and take it yeah?”
You nodded with a shaky moan, your pussy stretching to accommodate his thick girth as he bottomed out inside you. Grunting heavily at how tight you were around him, his cock so deep that he could see himself bulging in your stomach through the thin fabric of your dress.
Toji started off slowly. Your moans increasing in volume as he sped up. The burning sensation turning into nothing but pleasure as he fucked into you, ricking your body back and forth with each thrust.
Toji’s hand fell from your lips, the tattooed skin finding itself wrapped snugly around your neck instead. His cock grazing your gummy spot as he leaned into your ear. “This is exactly what you need doll. Need me to fuck that pretty little pussy so good.” he grunted. “Exactly what your dumb boyfriend failed to do.”
You could only let out a cry, your smaller hands holding tightly onto the arm around your throat. Digging your nails into his flesh as you moaned out into the air. Your lips parted in a string of mewls as the older man’s cock pierced deep into the depths of your insides. Fucking perfectly into your g spot before bullying its way to the entrance of your cervix.
The unfamiliar sensation making you cry out even louder as your head fell back. “T-toji- ahh— so good Toji, feels s’ good.” you cried, your legs trembling around him with curled toes.
“Careful now doll, as much as i would love for him to hear me fucking you right, there’s other people out there.” he teased, your pussy clenching when your eyes met his. Your eyes glassy and your head fuzzy as you were fucked into oblivion.
Letting out a whimper when his grip tightened unintentionally on your throat. Drool falling past the sides of your lips as your eyes fixed on his v line, up to his abs then further until you reached his face. Finding his dark irises staring back down at you hungrily before pulling you closer to him.
His large body swallowing yours when he pressed you up against him. Your moans and cries getting noisy again as you felt yourself getting close. “Tojiii— nnh, ‘m so c-close, ahh— gonna cum.”
“Yeah doll? Close f’ me? Gonna make a mess on this old man’s cock?” he rasped, broad hips still rolling hard into yours as he watched your mouth hang open slightly, your eyes rolling back before closing completely as you reached your high.
Body shaking and pussy spasming around him as your pussy held onto his cock like a vice, letting out a choked scream muffled by Toji’s knowing kiss as you came. Squirting messily onto his cock with the quiver of your hips.
“So fucking hot.” Toji groaned as he pulled away from you. Your breathing noticeably heavy as he fucked you through the aftermath of your orgasm. “Fuck, gonna cum. Where’d you want it?” he breathed.
And you let out a mewl as his thrusts grew sloppy, veiny cock twitching against your walls as he got ready to release. “Fuck, gotta hurry up and tell me doll.”
“Nnhg— inside, want you inside.” you moaned, “C-cum inside me.. please.”
Toji’s pupils dilated and his grin grew wide. “You’re a slutty one in disguise aren’t ya? ‘S my pleasure baby.” His thrusts becoming merciless as he slammed into you. Using your pussy to stroke his cock as you choked out little cries at the fast pace.
“Fuck, gon’ fill you up so good.” he panted, “Gon’ stuff you so full that you’ll be begging to be my good girl again.” his cock throbbed, “Shit— there we go, that’s it doll.” Spilling spurts of his hot cum into your cunt. Making you moan at how easily he filled you up.
Toji gave his final slow thrusts before he was pulling out of you, letting his cum seep out as he helped you put back on your panties. Trapping his seed deep inside you with a hum. “Feel better doll?” he smirked, giving you a short kiss to your lips and laughing as you tried to not let him go.
“Come back to me when you gain some sense and drop that asshole, okay? I’ll be waiting.” Pulling his shirt back on and tucking himself into his boxers, giving you a wink before trying to fix his hair. Your eyes glued onto his back as he walked out the bathroom door.
Leaving you touching your lips that just felt his tongue. Your heart beating faster before you were startled by hard knocking on the door followed by your boyfriend’s voice. “Can you hurry up in there? You’re making my mother think you’re dying or something.”
You closed your eyes and let out a breath, thoughts of Toji plaguing your mind and keeping you calm. “Coming!”
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watch-out-it-bites · 4 months
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I really hope mom doesn't hate us again fuuck
#everyone says shed never hate me but she literally told me to my face that she doesnt like me#then she gets mad when i say it back acts all victim#i wish she didnt download tiktok because now she calls me words i dont understand#says i do weaponized incompotence when i asked her to show me how to do something#shes been nice to me because sister is gone and she was bad hhh i hate thinking of sistwe#but also because ive been doing a lot of things for her so#im gonna have to do extra work so she doesnt fucking hate me again#hgod i hate this#fuucking hate miette#whenever i ask her something she acts like im a piece of shit acts all exasperated#she takes a whole minute to respond when shes watching tiktok#i dont think she loves me no matter what she says#the last time we hugged was when dashy died and before that it was when i left to go to ___#annd. im just so scared of her now#the tones of her voice the way she snaps to get my attention flicks my forehead when shes annoyed with me#i wont forget when she called me a lying little bitch#she gets mad that i remember all these things and hold onto it but. god. i feel like such a shitty person.#its okay when she does stuff to me but when i do it back.#i dont like when shes nice to me. last time she was it was because she was planning something trying to get something out of me#i feel like. any time shes nice shes not really being nice. she just wants something from me.#im so tired#i think she will hate me#shes definitely gonna take away presents which fair enough i understand that
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that-house · 4 months
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Potion Vendor FAQs:
What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.
Do you sell love potions? No.
Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.
Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.
Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.
Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.
So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.
Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.
Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.
Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.
Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.
Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.
Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.
So can you make poison potions? No.
Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.
Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.
How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.
You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.
Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.
Road trip? He lives in Seattle.
Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.
For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.
And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.
Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.
Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.
You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.
So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.
Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.
Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.
Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.
What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.
You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.
Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.
Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.
Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.
Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.
Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.
Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.
When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.
When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.
Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.
Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.
Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.
Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.
I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.
How did you know that? …I’m psychic.
Yeah? No.
You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.
Did you just miss a turn? Probably.
Are you sure we’re not lost? No.
You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.
Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.
Would it help if I said it was? It would.
Is it getting dark? Soon.
Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.
Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.
Should we find a motel? Sure.
One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.
You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.
Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.
Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.
How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.
How many beds are there? One.
Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.
Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.
How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.
Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.
For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.
Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.
Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.
Are you asleep? …
Yes? …
Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …
What should I say? …
Did you know that I had a really nice day? …
Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …
Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …
Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …
Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …
Did you know that you’re warm? …
Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.
Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.
Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.
What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!
Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.
You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!
Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.
Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.
You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.
Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.
Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.
How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.
Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.
150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.
Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.
And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!
Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.
And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.
So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.
So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!
Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.
Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.
Are you done eating? Yep.
Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.
How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.
Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.
Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.
What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.
Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.
Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…
Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.
Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?
When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.
Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.
What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.
Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.
What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.
Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.
Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.
What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.
I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …
Did he get his body modified? …
What sort of surgery could do that? …
How is he still alive? …
Did a fucking wizard do it? …
WHY? …
HOW? …
Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …
I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.
Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.
Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.
Can we do that? Of course.
Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.
Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.
Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.
Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.
How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.
How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.
That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.
Wanna fuck? God yes.
Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.
…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.
How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.
How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!
Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.
When will we get there? Noon-ish.
Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.
Is this Seattle? Looks like it.
Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.
Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.
So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA
Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA
Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.
Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.
So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!
How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.
Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.
Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.
Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!
Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!
Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.
I just caught this, but, FAQ? …
As in Frequently Asked Questions? …
How many times is Frequent? …
Have you known everything all along? …
How many times have you done this? …
Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!
And you say that every time? Yes. I do.
Do you love me? Yes.
How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.
Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.
Can I go now? Please don’t.
But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.
How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.
What happens at the end of this? It begins again.
And do I get replaced with someone else? …
Do I get replaced? …Yes.
Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!
You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.
How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?
Did you know my name is Alice? …
Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …
Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …
Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!
Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.
Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.
Be good to the next me, okay? I will.
Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…
What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.
Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.
What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.
What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!
What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.
Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.
What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.
What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!
So I should keep repeating something? Yes!
I love you? I love you too.
I love you? Again.
I love you? Keep going.
I love you? I’ll just let you talk.
I love you? …
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I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!
I love you? Now can you make it a statement?
I love you.
You did it?
I did it!
You did it!
We broke the loop.
What now?
Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.
And then?
Whatever we want, forever.
I think I’d like that.
Remember that song from the beginning?
The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?
We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?
Let me off, let me in
Let others battle
We don’t need to battle
And we both shall win
Pressed in my palm
Was a stone from the beach
The perfect circle
Gave a moment of peace
Now I’m lying on the floor
Like I’m not worth a chair
I close my eyes and imagine
I’m not there.
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