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wavetorhia · 7 months

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homesick

james potter x sirius' sibling!reader

summary: in which you run away from home after you've had enough and find refuge in james potter.

1.3k. hurt/comfort. angst. warning: minor implications of abuse.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

it had all happened so fast.

there was yelling, screaming, and a faint crashing of glass. spiteful words filled with hatred, dripping off the tongue of the woman you once called "mother." tears dripping down your face, blurring the face of your mother in front of you.

standing in the dining room that seemed to feel bigger and isolating, your figure shrinking and shaking as glass shards crumble next to you.

"YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY! JUST LIKE YOUR GOOD FOR NOTHING BROTHER!"

hearing sirius' name only caused more heartache as you realize that there was no one to defend you now. he had run away from home. no note. no warning. you and regulus were left to fend for yourselves in this place you called "home."

"don't speak ill of my brother that way." your voice was weak and shaky, only so much as coming out as a mumble. this response however caused your mother to see red - pure rage erupting more than before.

before you knew it, the enraged woman stood in front of you, her hand raised and a stinging pain on your left cheek could be felt. the sound echoed and bounced off of the dark walls of the black residence, even merlin could have heard it from his grave.

in a loud whisper, through gritted teeth she spoke. "get the hell out of my sight."

without another word you turned around and swiftly left the room, tears continuing to fall as you ran up the stairs to your bedroom. you spotted your beloved younger brother, regulus, peaking over the hallway - having heard everything that happened. you paid him no mind, however, as you made your way to your room (also hearing him following behind you).

as you both entered your room, regulus shut the door behind him as you collapsed onto the floor. all of the emotions, pain, hurt, and suffering finally caught up to you. you felt your brother pull you into his arms, trying to provide any comfort that he could possibly give to you. muffled sobs could be heard and his shirt dampened with your overflowing tears that seemed never ending.

it felt as if hours had passed before you could regain your breath. you let yourself out of regulus' grasp, bodies still near each other, and remained on the floor together, a deafening silence engulfing the both of you as the both of you processed what happened.

"...this isn't the first time mother has done this to you."

"i know."

"are you going to continue to let her treat you like this? how much more of this can you take?"

you were left unable to answer. regulus was right, this wasn't the first time she has unleashed her anger onto you. but today was far worse than before. you continued to stay quiet, your eyes trying to avoid regulus' as he stared at you waiting for your answer.

finally you spoke. "i can take her hits and jabs at me. but if she does the same to you i don't think i could take it."

regulus eyebrows knitted at your answer, both sadness and frustration mixed in his dark eyes.

"mother wouldn't do such a thing to me. but if you continue to stay here...she'll kill you."

at this you looked up at him, looking at his now teary eyes caused your vision to blur. a new wave of tears engulfed you both, reaching out and embracing each other at the truth behind his words. together you knew what you had to do, and the thought was heartbreaking. nonetheless, you both knew it was the only choice you had.

for the next hour, the two of you grabbed a large duffel bag and began to pack some of your things. items that were essential and valuable to you. it had soon reached three in the morning when you finally gathered all your things, exhaustion had begun to take over you and your dear brother.

looping your bag over your shoulder you both quietly made your way to the fireplace. regulus hurriedly found the floo powder and made his way back to you. taking your place inside, bag in hand, you grabbed a handful of the powder and looked up at your brother.

"be safe reg."

"you too."

a small sad smile stretched on both of your faces as you looked at each other. a bittersweet goodbye, not knowing when you would be able to see each other again.

as you said the words, "the potter residence" you could feel and see your surroundings begin to change. taking one last glance at your beloved brother, noticing his mouth wording a sentence you knew all too well, you had now found yourself in a dimly lit living room.

it was far different from your own. it was warm and cozy, a feeling of safety brushed over you just by stepping into the lovely home. trying to be as quiet as possible you made your to the couch, not wanting to wake up the residence of the home you (to put it lightly) intruded in.

sitting on the couch you finally allowed yourself to take a breath. you had finally taken the chance to realize what you had done, abandoning the life that you had been living.

you were finally free.

"(reader)? what are you doing here love?"

however, as you were preoccupied with your own thoughts, you failed to notice the figure making its way from the hallway. recognizing the voice, you turned your head to see james potter looking at you with confusion and worry. the wand was occupying his right hand lowered at the sight of you and not an intruder, and he made his way over to you.

"im sorry for coming out of the blue." you weakly smiled in embarrassment, looking down at your hands. seeing james take a seat next to you, your hands now being held by his, a small comforting squeeze causing you to look up at him.

"there's nothing to apologize for love, you're always welcome. but did something happen?"

at his question you began to remember the fight, the screaming, the crying, and even regulus. not saying a word your eyes began to water, silently begging for them not to fall but your body denied that request. james noticed the tears that fell and pulled you into his arms. quickly returning his embrace, you both stayed in that position for what felt like forever, more tears soaking his shirt.

after a while you both pulled away, james placed his hand on your cheek, his thumb softly grazing it. no words had to be said in order for him to understand your situation. it was one he had dealt with before not too long ago either.

as he inspected your face, his eyes landed upon the bruise that had formed on your cheek. his eyebrows furrowed, his other hand reaching over to get a better look at it.

"it's okay. it doesn't hurt anymore."

you tried to reassure him that the pain was gone. however his face never wavered as he looked at the red and purple splotch.

"im sorry that you had to go through that."

"you don't have to apologize for something you didn't do."

"you deserve an apology anyway, even if it isn't from the person you want it to be from."

at those words you weakly smiled at him, a silent 'thank you' coming from your lips as you reached out to hug him again. the warmth of his body softened the tension that your body was unknowingly holding.

a gentle kiss was placed on the top of your head making you squeeze him tighter, no words being able to express the thankfulness you felt to have him here.

before you knew it, you had fallen asleep in his arms. the both of you laying on the couch as the sun greeted the moon and peaked through the windows. no more words had to be said or spoken. no need for tears. for anger. for fear.

all you needed to know, and feel, was that with him-

-you were home.

•°. *࿐•°. *࿐

#james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter fic #marauders x reader #james potter x you #angst prompt #one shot #angst with a happy ending #hurt/comfort #the marauders era #fluff #angst to fluff #rhia's collection ✧.*

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moonheavens · 5 months

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Hello! I just want to let you know I'm still thinking about itcoac. So very lovely, it fills me with such a soft warm feeling 💕

I'd love to hear more about the backstory changes if you want to share! Been thinking about Sirius going to the Lupins in first year, wondering if his parents disowned him right away for being sorted into Gryffindor? The way Sirius behaved on that first train ride, and how scared he looked after being sorted... my heart aches..... And on the same topic I'm also so curious if you have any thoughts on why they ended up kicking out Regulus too?

Oh this is such a wonderful question - I love deep diving into fic-lore and I have a lot of thoughts when it comes to itcoac-lore, so thank you so much for asking, and for your sweet words as always <3

Answer below the break as it's a long one...

One of the things that appeal to me most about Wolfstar as a best friends-to-lovers ship is their codependency. They're friends, first, and something more second, and I think everyone who's been in that situation knows how terrifying it is to admit your feelings for fear of ruining everything you already have.

I have always liked the idea of Lyall and Hope as good parents (I particularly like their portrayal in Blends & Names by @rvltn909) and have toyed with the concept of Sirius moving in with them instead of the Potters in my head before, and how that would look.

The idea for this fic came to me when I was wondering how Sirius would feel if they were even more codependent in that exact situation, and that's sort of how he ended up where he is - it was an experiment, at first. I wanted to put him in a situation where everyone in that family formed a spiderweb, with Sirius at the centre, and envision how he would deal with the impact of his feelings for Remus within those fragile family dynamics.

As for why he left the Blacks; Sirius's back story has always been a bit ambiguous across characterisations, with writers interpreting it as everything from minor verbal abuse and neglect to violent physical and mental abuse. I wanted to explore how he would feel from going from the more extreme end of that spectrum to living in a home where he was loved and cherished and protected.

I envisioned that Walburga and Orion would (naturally) be unhappy with him being sorted in Gryffindor, hence why he was sent on the train by himself with the fear put into him that he better be sorted into Slytherin and make friends with the right people, or else. When he wasn't, I think Sirius knew that there was no way he could go back over Christmas break and endure whatever punishment awaited him there, and especially not now he had talked to other people his age and learned how parents were supposed to behave.

When Remus offered to take him in, I imagined it as Sirius choosing not to go back to Grimmauld Place, and his parents responding by saying well, then we'll close this door, and the vault, and the access to your brother forever by disowning you. I think that response terrified Sirius because he didn't know at the time whether Reggie wanted to get out too, and if the Lupins wouldn't keep him he'd be homeless, but he also knew it was the right choice to go because he couldn't go back to Grimmauld and suffer any more of their abuse.

So then Regulus, when he joined Hogwarts the next year, saw Sirius and his group of friends; saw Sirius with colour on his cheeks and meat on his bones, no longer cowering, loud and brash and starting to grow into himself, and he resented that at first. I think it would naturally take him a while to put aside the jealousy, and even when Sirius asked him to come to the Lupins too, he would be petty and resentful on purpose and say no to hurt Sirius back.

In the story he didn't come until the Christmas of Year 3 (Year 2 for Reg) because he went back home for those first two breaks, and realised that without Sirius all their ire was focused on him instead, and it just wasn't manageable without his brother by his side to endure that together. In my vision he would talk about Sirius to his parents so much that they grew tired of it and realised he was never going to be the heir they wanted, and so they kicked him out too after that summer, in a nasty "so go to your brother, see if he wants you" kind of way.

So I think he sent Sirius that letter, the last week of that summer and met Sirius at the train platform that Sept 1st with a trunk full of his belongings, nothing more, and Hope and Lyall told him he was welcome there too. He'd think about it at first, of course, because he's Regulus and he hates accepting what he thinks is pity, but I think he eventually realised that it was the better option, and that he just... missed his brother and wanted to be where he was, and to be loved the way Sirius clearly was.

And they both got exactly that :)

Thank you so much again for asking, this was lovely to explore and explain, sending smooches! <3

#fic: itcoac #ames asks answered

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ashesandhackles · 3 years

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The Hogwarts Express scene in Prince's Tale: A Sirius and Snape analysis

I really, really enjoy Sirius and Snape as characters and their respective narrative functions in story. But what gets me most about them is how much Rowling hints about their backgrounds and so much of it makes sense with regard to who they are as adults. So I am going to be breaking down a very small scene from Prince Tale and getting into long winded hypothesis about their respective childhoods.

So, let's start with Snape. The scene begins with Snape rushing to find Lily, already in his Hogwarts clothes. Harry notes he must have been eager to get out of his clothes - ones that look like he borrowed from his mother, as Petunia spitefully pointed out. This has always been a very interesting detail to me - first off, it indicates how poor Snape's family is. Second, this indicates his tiny rebellion from his father - he refuses to wear clothes of the abusive man, and prefers his mother's. I admit, I am partial to the reading that Snape refuses to associate with his father in tiny ways, rather than Tobias refusing to hand his son clothes.

(I have seen readings which say that it is also a sign of neglect - perhaps his parents bought clothes that simply don't fit him, but I am more inclined to think it's a hand me down, simply because Harry identifies so strongly with it. Because Harry knows what it is like to wear a hand me down that don't quite fit, that are too big for you, or the ones that make you look ridiculous.)

Lily and Petunia's relationship is fraught with Petunia's jealousy. And young Lily is upset over it when Snape meets her. "I am not talking to you. Tuney hates me" she tells him. "Because we saw the letter from Dumbledore". Young Lily shows signs of being extremely emotionally reactive and this scene is one of them. It's easier for her to deal with Petunia's rejection of her by telling Snape she doesn't want to talk to him. It's a childish displacement of her hurt over her sister's rejection. (I am genuinely baffled by interpretations that Lily and Hermione are similar. Hermione is very cognitive person, Lily, as we have been shown repeatedly in memories, is not).

Snape, however, with his bad history with Petunia and his inability/ poor social skills to understand why this matters to her, goes: "So what?"

Lily, who throws him a look of deep dislike, says "So she's my sister". This seed is important because this is what develops into "he doesn't get me" feeling she later displays in her teenage scenes with him. Interestingly, most of Lily's personal relationships have deeply interwined love and dislike - Petunia (whose rejection bothers her but she cheerfully informs Sirius that Harry nearly broke a vase her sister sent - which means there is resentment on her end too), James - who she was attracted to even before 7th year but also disliked at one point, and Snape - again, a contentious friendship filled with love and distance.

"She's only a -" we dont get to hear what Snape intended to say. And given his own acrimony with Petunia, it could be anything. However, I read it as "She's only a Muggle" because it ties into his feelings about his father. Snape, who is proud of being half a Prince, emphasizing his magical lineage from his mother's side, his refuge in a violent, neglectful home. (Barty Crouch Jr and Snape with their disappointing fathers - I imagine Voldemort is supremely attractive leader to people with broken homes like this)

Snape, by all accounts, shows a disorganised attachment style. His caregiver, his mother - and perhaps the only parent he seems to have regard for, is too preoccupied by her own abuse to be there for her son - we see this in glimpses Harry sees in OOTP: " woman cowering" where a man shouts at her, and a young, neglected Snape cries in the corner. Children born in homes like this have trouble regulating their emotions, simultaneously displaying tendencies to aggressively lash out or show disassociative symptoms. Both of which Snape displays. Statistically, this is also seen more in low income households where economic instability and resulting domestic instability creates an unsafe environment for the kids to safely form ideas of their identity, or express emotions in healthy ways, modelling instead out of behaviour seen at home.

Then, Snape reminds her that they are going to Hogwarts. He is already in his Hogwarts clothes - now, Snape gets to be the impressive figure. The one who told her about magic, who theorised about how Muggles get letters from magical people, the one who told her about Dementors and Azkaban. He has already left behind the Spinner's End version of him, he wants to bigger than that, and is keen to be in place of magical learning and to join Slytherin. Essentially, he shows signs of unstable identity, insecurity - all prime for grooming into a cult.

And here comes along James Potter, who looks around at the mention of Slytherin. James's comment uses Snape's line and directs it to Sirius instead and it becomes a conversation between them, as a way to bond more with a fellow "rowdy boy" Sirius. Effectively ignoring the other two.

Sirius as we see here, "does not smile" when James talks about Slytherin. He essentially says something that can be construed as a way to nip that conversation in bud: "My whole family has been in. Slytherin". This suggests to me that there is some loyalty to his family there and his disillusionment with them isn't entirely fixed yet. After all, Sirius's intense loyalty to his friends, more specifically James, did not come out of thin air. It is reasonable to suggest that he felt some loyalty to his family at some point and the intensity with which he regards his friends is a reaction to burned off and being a "displaced person without a family" as Rowling put it.

Interestingly, while his reaction to his mother and Bellatrix are obviously sore spots, his response to Regulus is comparatively quite soft. ("Stupid, idiot" - something he calls James later on in the same book, OOTP). I imagine Sirius has quite complicated feelings about his brother and he is capable of nuance (when the person isn't Snape, where his dislike seems to be borne of an intense projection): "The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters". As someone who is grown up among them, Sirius would understand that.

His framing of Regulus's need to please his parents also further highlights what exactly is the source of disillusionment. He calls Regulus "soft enough to believe them" - which means he is crediting his own intelligence to see through his parents bigoted world view. Clearly, bigotry is not something the Blacks explained in a way that Sirius, eldest of their male line and their heir, bought it. It also probably didn't help the Blacks case that Grimmauld Place is in a Muggle neighborhood and that their eldest son is a bit of a wild boy with interest in pushing boundaries. His intellectual disconnect leads to the righteous rage he later feels but it began there. (Boy, it must suck to discover that everything you have been taught to value in the world and in yourself as the heir is essentially rubbish). Since his differences with his family began with seeds of intellectual disconnect rather than on intense empathy with downtrodden, it makes him, as a pureblooded privileged boy, unable to truly understand Lupin's fears regarding his lycanthropy. Hence, the Werewolf prank (I am not getting to the Snape bit, just the Lupin bit). To James' credit, he does understand what that means for Lupin and saves all three of them from different set of consequences.

Anyway, back to the scene. James, who has made an ass of himself in front of his new friend, who he was getting along with fine until now, then goes "Blimey, I thought you seemed alright". (Btw, I find James wildly large ego kind of hilarious here, especially in light of Snape's comment about him to Sirius in OOTP: "You will know he is so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him"). Sirius, who I believe has been raised like "royalty" as Blacks would, has good enough social skills to defuse a situation. He grins and says: "Maybe I will break the tradition".

This line is an indication of Sirius's desire for independence, an identity seperate from his family. The use of the word "tradition" is interesting. It sounds like Sirius is expected to behave in a certain way, the heir of Black family whose parents thought being a Black "made you practically royal". Adult Sirius is contemptuous of this, or their "valuable contribution to Ministry" which means they just gave gold - it tells me that any and all conditions put on him by his family were to fulfill tradition that is either worthless or holds no meaning in his eyes. The root of the emotional abuse Sirius suffers from his family is this - realising his parents love for him is conditional on him being a certain way. (In fact, you can read Regulus desire to emphasise his connection to the family as a reaction to what he sees with Sirius - Sirius does not behave, Mum and Dad don't love him). As a child with unconscious knowledge of lack of love, Sirius then acts out, they react, rinse and repeat "until he has had enough". Sirius chafes against boundaries well into adulthood and doesn't react well to people enforcing it on him, even if it is out of love for him. Cue the fire scene with Harry where he behaves as if Harry is rejecting him instead of protecting him.

Sirius asks James about where he wants to go, and Snape, who is incensed about James being insulting about a House he put stock in, which he made part of new identity (so that he is no longer that Snape boy from Spinner's End) and was in general trying to be impressive about in front of Lily, "makes a disparaging noise" once James talks of Gryffindor. Snape's response to James' : "Got a problem with that?" is interesting. He says: "If you'd rather be brawny, rather than brainy-"

This is an important value for Snape. He knows he is clever and values it. He spends his spare time inventing hexes, making great shortcuts to Potions. He has genuine thirst for learning and he hones it. In SWM, we see that he has written far more longer answers than anyone else, he is poring over his paper after exams. He even mocks Hermione's lack of inventive answers: "Answer copied word to word from the textbook, but correct in essentials". He values originality. It may be me stretching this, but I am partial to the reading: this is his way of rejecting his father once again, who is implied to be a violent man. (in other words, someone who is hypermasculine - "brawny". In fact, Snape's rejection of hypermasculinity is a huge post on it's own - Potions (brewing, cauldrons - coded as feminine arts), the doe Patronus, his proficiency in Occlumency and Legliemency (intuitive mind arts, again seen archetypically feminine) etc).

"Where are you hoping to go, seeing as you are neither?" - Sirius is quick with emotionally cutting insults. Snape hasn't even finished his sentence, but Sirius is already on his case. Which suggests growing up in a household with sharp tongues. It's a fair assumption, given Mrs Black's half mad portrait. It also tallies with Sirius's talking about his mother: "My mother didn't have a heart Kreacher, she kept herself alive out of pure spite" . The wounds are fresh enough on this. (Another interesting way Snape and Sirius act as inverse mirrors - Snape rejects his father, Sirius rejects his mother. Sirius acts as proxy for James for Harry while Snape takes on Lily's role of protecting him). However, you know who else is spiteful? Sirius.

While James is the physical bully (the tripping Snape, doing most of the bullying in SWM), Sirius attacks emotionally. ( Sample the one about Snape's appearance - "I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment, there will be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word" or even the carelessly vicious- "Put that away, before Wormtail wets himself in excitement"). Curiously, with all that talk of how his mother being spiteful, it's her room he spends time in when he is depressed. (Again, in inverse mirror way, we can talk of how Snape looks for a father figure in Dumbledore - craves his validation and is proud of Dumbledore's trust in him). We could argue it's also because Buckbeak is there, and perhaps it's the largest room in the house, but it's very telling that's where Sirius spends time when he is "in a fit of sullens". Sirius's sense of abandonment from his family, makes him look for family connections with friends - a trait he shares with Harry. Interestingly, the first time he glimpses Harry in Privet Drive, Harry is also running away from home - just like he did. Anyway, I could go on.

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citrusdarling7 · 3 years

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Dumbledore's Villainhood

description- an essay i wrote when i should have been doing actual course work

warnings- mentions of abusive households, spoilers for the HP series, mentions of death, and dumbledore slander. (duh)

🗡—————————————————————🗡

I have read the Harry Potter books around twenty times, along with dozens of fanfictions based off of the series. My friends and family have suffered through hour-long rants on subjects such as Snape being the worst character, racism in the writing, and how characters such as Fleur and Lavender are a projection of Rowling’s own internalized misogyny. (Warning: spoilers for the Harry Potter series below!)

The Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling is arguably one of the most well known book series in modern times. With over 500 million copies sold worldwide, these books have been read by millions of people. The story follows orphaned main character Harry Potter as he learns he is a wizard and has a mortal enemy that he will consequently face every book. Harry begins to study at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which is presided over by Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore was written to represent the Mentor character that is so commonly found in any Hero’s Journey type of story; however I do not believe Dumbledore deserves any praise. I believe that Albus Dumbledore was the true villain of Harry’s story.

Before I dive into the prompt, I would like to first clarify that this is actually not how Rowling had intended for her character to be interpreted. Although she has to be accredited with the fascinating world-building of her series, I don’t like to provide her with any unnecessary praise. Rowling has shown through her social media that she is transphobic, homophobic, anti-Semitic, and racist. Her judgment is incredibly flawed and therefore reflected in her work; Rowling truly believes that Dumbledore should be praised.

In the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, young Harry is sent to live with his non-magical Aunt and Uncle proceeding the murder of his parents. While standing on the end of the street and conversing with Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore says, “It’s the best place for him— His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he’s older. I’ve written them a letter.” (pg 14.) The Dursley’s were incredibly neglectful towards Harry, border lining on the edge of abuse. Harry often went days without meals and spent weeks locked inside the cupboard under the stairs. In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, book number six, Dumbledore finally explains why he allowed a child to grow up in such horrible conditions. Since Lily Potter sacrificed herself to protect Harry, that protection would continue as long as he spent at least one day a year with her blood relatives. Dumbledore could have easily found a magical family to take Harry in, and have the boy visit his aunt and uncle once a year. It was completely unnecessary for him to be raised by them, yet Dumbledore simply did not care.

Throughout the series, Dumbledore manipulated nearly everyone around him in a variety of ways. One example of this was his relationship with Rubeus Hagrid. In the year 1945, the Chamber of Secrets was opened by Tom Riddle, (young Voldemort.) During a flashback scene, a suspicious Dumbledore has a conversation with Tom Riddle and asks, “Is there anything that you wish to tell me?” (pg. 245) regarding the Chamber. Dumbledore already knew that Riddle was the one to open in, yet he stood aside and did nothing when Hagrid was later blamed. Once Dumbledore was appointed as Headmaster of Hogwarts, he allowed Hagrid to become a gamekeeper for the school. Poor Hagrid views Dumbledore as his savior, which the old man uses to his advantage. Dumbledore was constantly having Hagrid risk his life and freedom by running errands for him. On page 59 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Hagrid performs magic after Uncle Vernon insults Dumbledore. After his expulsion from Hogwarts, Hagrid was banned from doing magic. He is so blindly devoted to Dumbledore that he is willing to break laws to “defend his honor.” When the Chamber of Secrets is opened again in book two, Dumbledore stands aside and allows Hagrid to be taken to Azkaban, the wizard prison, even though he knows Hagrid could not have opened the Chamber.

Dumbledore is consistently described as a great and powerful wizard. Readers are meant to believe that there is nothing the man can not do. It is true that Dumbledore was extremely talented. We know this because of his part in defeating Grindelwald in the 1940’s, the various awards given to him by the Ministry, and him being appointed Headmaster of the school. Yet Dumbledore did very little to help defeat Voldemort, instead opting to use two generations of child soldiers. The Order of the Phoenix was an organization that he started in the 1970’s, which was made up of mostly 18-20 year old's that were fresh out of Hogwarts, Harry’s parents included. During the May 2nd 1998 Battle of Hogwarts, the majority of the fighters were teenagers. And where was Dumbledore? Well, he was conveniently dead by then, after plotting with Snape in the previous book to have him be “murdered.” Dumbledore was selfish and careless when he essentially raised Harry to be a sacrificial lamb, knowing that he was Voldemort’s 7th horcrux all along.

“Help will always be given at Hogwarts, Harry, to those who ask for it.” Dumbledore loves to emphasize how Hogwarts can essentially be a home and family for those who do not have one. That is, if they are in Gryffindor. Although Rowling paints members of Slytherin house to all be evil and conniving, that is not at all true. (Not that Rowling considers Snape to be the only redeemable Slytherin, which I completely disagree with.) Horace Slughorn and Regulus Black are examples of Slytherin characters who bravely fought against evil in their own special ways. In Regulus’ case, he sacrificed his life to further hide one of Voldemort’s horcruxes. Slughorn was able to put past his sense of pride and divulge vital information to Harry, even though it embarrassed him. But Dumbledore believes that being sorted into Slytherin House is like having the world EVIL branded across your forehead. When a young Tom Riddle was sorted into Slytherin, Dumbledore no longer made any attempts to help the boy. Much like Harry, he was a half-blooded orphan who had no idea of his heritage before coming to Hogwarts. Seeing as Harry was a Gryffindor, he was given extra favors and help from Dumbledore that prevented him from becoming evil, which was a very real possibility. Even after his time as a student at Hogwarts, Tom Riddle returned to the castle seeking out a job as a teacher. Dumbledore refused him the job, which would have been an excellent opportunity to keep Riddle in check and prevent him from becoming the monster that is Lord Voldemort. But Dumbledore turned him away, and is therefore responsible for the man he later became.

Although the Harry Potter series is marketed towards elementary school children, I have realized that as you mature, there is so much more that you will take away from the book series. Rowling’s intended themes are one of love, death, and friendship. Looking deeper, you realize that the story is essentially the story of two boys. By the neglect and manipulation of Dumbledore, one became the greatest villain, and the other the greatest hero.

#harry potter #dumbledore slander #anti dumbledore #anti jkr #tom marvolo riddle #harry potter analysis #character analysis #fanfic writing #writing #albus dumbledore #slytherin #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #gryffindor

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mvnvgedmischief · 3 years

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unremarkable days.

summary: sirius black is trying to be a good man, a good brother, a good person. Sirius has a steady job designing book covers for a publishing house, a flat he never leaves, and a traumatized brother who was just removed from the custody of his parents. All in all, it's wildly unremarkable.

chapter: 4/?

characters: sirius black, regulus black, wolfstar, background marauders

tags: tw: canon compliant abuse, child abuse, social services, abuse

words: 3. 8 k

read it on ao3 here

read the last chapter here

Sirius knew that work was going to be high stress all day. He felt sick to his stomach, thinking about the way he would continuously have to talk to people, when all he wanted was some peace. He wanted downtime. Time when he didn’t have to think about how he needed his paycheck to put food on the table, clothes on his brother’s back, pay bills to keep his lights on, wifi for homework. Regulus occupied his thoughts at all times, protecting him was Sirius’s only priority these days. He didn’t have time for anything else. Not his friends, not his interests, not music. Nothing could come between his focus and his brother’s wellbeing, because if it did, Sirius would never forgive himself. The consequences were too dire. So instead, he just wished for downtime that wouldn’t come, and prayed for the weekend to approach even faster.

The weekend, when he could finally sleep again, albeit not well. The weekend, when he had the time to take a breath, even if it was only brief. Because his weekends were also spent finding ways to better equip his apartment for his younger brother, going to long grocery runs so Regulus had lunch to take to school, meal prepping all of the things he couldn’t bring himself to eat for dinner. He was definitely tired of all of the ways his mind was spiraling out, he didn’t have the time. He didn’t fault Regulus for it, it wasn’t the teen's presence in his life that was causing all this stress. It really was his own fault. A bit of crying at that first hearing had given Walburga and Orion the satisfaction of a victory over him at that first hearing, and they seemed to crave more of that chaos. They wanted to watch their children suffer, and this was how they chose to do that. So instead he spiraled in the privacy of his own home, because he could practically hear the words they burned into his mind whenever he saw them, and feel the ache of old beatings.

But it was only Thursday, and that meant he still had to do this all day, and then get berated by the rest of the team for not attending their weekly bonding happy hour. If he was lucky, no one would ask him to go. He knew he should be less terrified of them asking, most of the people on his team were his friends. There was simply the question of Remus, and Sirius didn’t have the time to be thinking about him in the first place.

He didn’t have time to think about the way his hair curled just the right way to fall into his eyes when he slept, or the way his caramel freckles made him look sunkist. He didn’t have time to think about the pink scars that ran down Remus’s face or how they got there. He definitely didn;’t have time to think of the comfort of his hand combing through Sirius’s own mop of unruly curls. So instead, he needs to put all of that out of his mind. It wasn’t going to help him do well at work. It wasn’t going to solve his problems. He didn’t have the time for this, nor did he have the emotional bandwidth. Perhaps that was why Sirius was conveniently avoiding the idea that he had asked Remus on a date. With some luck, Remus would think he was just an asshole who ghosted him. That was definitely complicated by the fact that they worked together, that he couldn’t just disappear. He wanted to, he really did, because there was simply no time.

He set up his deliverables as though he had made tons of them, because his employment in this company rode on it. Just two months ago, he was pegged to be promoted within the next two cycles, and now he could barely hold on to his sanity enough to handle his workload. He was so fucking tired, and he had so much on his plate. He needed to mentally prepare himself for the long day of meetings ahead of him. He had no true motivation to do his job right now, all he knew was that his exhaustion was no excuse. He knew that his boss, Alice, was giving him a whole lot of leeway right now. She was probably doing more than she should to help him. Being a mentor on the senior design team didn’t mean she needed to keep tabs on his personal life and pick up his slack.

“Sirius–”

When Sirius focused back into the meeting he was calling into, it occurred to him that they’re talking to him. So he did what he always did, blamed it on a shoddy connection.

“Oh, sorry, can you repeat that? My audio cut out.”

“Remus was saying that some of the poems could probably use illustrations, and he was wondering if you had any ideas on which ones needed it.”

“Thanks, Peter.” Sirius was glad that he knew the people on this team, that Peter and James were as close to him as anyone could be. Because otherwise, he’d probably be fucked.

“So I was looking through them, and I was thinking Bite, Magick, and Love I could probably use larger scale illustrations. But at the same time, we don’t want to crowd the book. How attached are you to the current order or page arrangement?”

It felt too close, but he was lucky that he had at least read the titles of some of the poems in the first half of the book. Sirius knew Remus didn’t actually know what his level of involvement was. He thought it was just doodles, but Sirius would be responsible for presenting everything from kearning and font choice within the pages, to illustration and cover art to the design team. He was integral to the success of this book as a product, and he needed to start acting like it.

“I’m pretty attached.” Remus sounded cold to Sirius, and he wondered what exactly he had done wrong in this meeting. And yet, he didn’t have time to think on it. He needed to keep things moving, keep getting valuable information out of the author. Hook up be damned, Sirius needed this book to actually get off the ground.

“Okay, well we should get a meeting on the calender to discuss. What poems and what scale of illustrations you want–”

“Shouldn’t you be deciding what the illustrations look like and the logistics of those. Isn’t that what you get paid for?” Remus really wasn’t making this easy on Sirius. But he had dealt with bigger demons and divas then whatever this attitude was. So he put on a light and airy smile, one they’d never know didn’t reach his eyes over the low quality webcam and nodded.

“If you’d like to take a hands off approach with the design work, that can absolutely be arranged. But in the case of a fledgling project with a new author, the design team, myself included, really hope to prioritize your artistic license so that we can get a better sense of your vision for your literature, should Quill move forward with other publications in the future. We can provide a completely in-house service, with as much input as you feel necessary during the design process, and deliver collateral towards the end of the project when final edits are done, if you would prefer, Mister Lupin.”

Sirius practically wanted to scream. He needed Remus to stop fucking with his job, with his livelihood. He couldn’t lose this project. He needed all of the billable hours he could get if he was going to justify the overtime he needed in order to provide for his brother. This was ridiculous. But his clinical and polite answer must have thrown Remus, because he didn’t get much more attitude out of him. The back and forth had ended. So instead, Sirius pulled up his deliverables for the week, which included new iterations for the covers, and twelve illustrations for the three poems he had mentioned.

He noticed the way Remus looked at his drawings, like he was pained by whatever his thoughts were, and Sirius wants to scream that he’s under no obligation to think that they’re good. But then he remembers that Remus seemed to be nitpicking on purpose, based on his critique of the design system itself. Sirius didn’t have the time to deal with that level of petty, just because he hadn’t been answering. He was too busy. He had too much on his plate. So instead he continues his presentation.

“I don’t like any of these. Maybe you should start over.” Remus sounded vindictive, even mean. Like he was doing this out of spite. Sirius could feel his heart drop in that moment. He didn’t want to start over. He didn’t have the time.

“What do you not like about them?” Sirius is trying to salvage his work while he can.

“The vibe is off.”

“Oh, is there something specific that throws it off or...” Sirius trailed off, wondering what exactly he needed to change.

“No, it’s the whole thing. All of them are just off.”

Sirius needed to think quick on his feet. He didn’t have the time to start from scratch, so he pulled up his original thumbnails that he had discussed with Remus.

“These are the original sketches we discussed. I moved forward with the ones we talked about. I’m happy to rework those sketches,” no, he wasn’t. “But if there’s another sketch that you think would fit your vision better, please let me know.” He felt like he was pleading with Remus not to hate his artwork. He’d be a liar if he said it wasn’t a blow to his self esteem to hear that everything that he did was bad.

“No, I would suggest you start over.”

Sirius nodded, his mind immediately whirring with ways he could start over and re-design this project. He really didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to do hundreds of thumbnails to get set on thirty, only to be destroyed in a meeting again. Especially when Remus seemed so excited about all of his illustrations before the meetings. It felt like too much. He didn’t have the energy for this kind of behavior.

Luckily, Marlene directed the conversation away from Sirius’s work. The rest of the call went on without a hitch, like the only person who’s work Remus had a problem with was Sirius’s. He knew that it was more likely for Remus to have a problem with him, because design work was usually something an artist thought of as easy; however, this felt calculated and cold. If Sirius had been avoiding Remus before, it definitely wasn’t about to get better. So instead, he listened to the end of the meeting, and started the project all over again. He could do this. It was an unremarkable critique. It didn’t matter.

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darkouter · 5 years

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barty headcanon & general meta: surviving the imperius curse

personals don’t reblog! if mutuals think this is interesting enough to apply to their muses who have been put under the imperius curse before, feel free to tho.

ANYWAYS, time to talk about the implications of being controlled by someone completely for long periods of time! let’s have a psych student ramble about the symptoms of trauma that survivors of the imperius curse are likely to face. in fact, to tie this to cecil’s psychiatric health practice that he opens up on the wizarding side of london, i’d like to think that barty in his care leads to him forming this draft of criteria for a disorder that is closely linked to that of ptsd, but specific to those who are put under the imperius curse.

quick note: i take heavy inspiration from netflix’s jessica jones series when it comes to how mind control works, as i already have an extensive concept built around it for my kilgrave rp blog, and you’ll see that influence throughout this post if you’re familiar with the series (if you expected me to not bring mr. eggplant emoji into this, you’re a foole, as he taints everything that i do and is a pervasive parasite to my very soul). poison ivy, too, provides some direction for this.

first: what does it look and feel like to be under the imperius curse?

what we know: it is pleasant to be under at the time, possible (but hard) to overcome through sheer force of will, it can last for an indefinite amount of time, harry could successfully perform the curse on the fly without having practiced on anyone ever before, and j.k. bowling ball really should have defined it more so i wouldn’t have to write this post.

i think there are three main factors that inform how someone feels, thinks, and acts under the curse: 1.) how much autonomy the spellcaster allows them, 2.) how adept the spellcaster is at the curse, and 3.) the will of the person being controlled. each of these may impact how lucid the cursed individual is/acts.

generally speaking, victims do not find the experience to be unpleasant for the duration of the spell. in fact, it is usually calming and enjoyable. victims are free of stress and responsibility due to lack of control, and it’s akin to being heavily sedated. so. imagine being incredibly high, and that’s how thought patterns and emotions are affected. this may be disrupted when there is a trigger of some sort that causes a victim to fight. an example is extreme cognitive dissonance, such as in situations where the victim is so severely against performing an ordered action that they begin to fight against it. at that point, they may become confused and upset due to conflicting desires. the curse doesn’t simply make people do things, but it makes people feel that they want to do those things, so the artificial desire battling with real desire will cause internal distress and debate over what to do. the caster’s ability will compete with the will of the cursed in this instance.

casters may gain better control by actively engaging with the individual in close proximity, using their wand, and only separating for short amounts of time. on the other hand, the cursed may have a better chance at fighting if there is distance, lack of engagement, and long intervals of separation. the spell is liable to lose its strength over a period of time away, where it is not maintained. i like to kind of think of the spell having a battery life: maintaining strength when the caster is nearby, charged / being refreshed when the cursed is engaged with through use of wand, and draining at other times. a strong will fighting, particularly if due to an outside stimulus’ influence, drains it much faster.

barty remained under control of crouch sr. during his absences, but the dark mark’s appearance and death eaters showing up at the quidditch world cup was enough of an emotional trigger to give him the desire for freedom to act. crouch sr. was not in his presence to strengthen the spell, so he broke out of the curse. however, after being stupefied and taken home, he went back under. the imperius curse’s influence is something that is an active, ongoing mental battle. with crouch sr. back in his presence and without the same motivation inspired by the dark mark, barty could not overcome it. he had to be freed by tom.

now, the curse lasts indefinitely if it is maintained well enough. so how do people operate when they are not actively being given orders? how much autonomy do they have? all of those three factors would have to affect this. the cursed may have more autonomy if the caster gave it, if they are not competent enough with the spell to maintain control that is complex and involves the ability to set rules, and/or if the cursed has a strong enough sense of self for their personality and instinct to show through.

when harry used the imperius curse, the man he cursed (i’m not looking it up, it was some guy during deathly hallows when they broke into gringott’s) had to be given constant orders to operate. when harry wasn’t actively making him do something, he would look mindless. harry had to constantly be cognizant of him if he had wanted the curse to seem natural because he was not good enough at the spell to balance how much control the man had over himself. people who are not good at the spell may have something like this happen, with someone becoming a total zombie, or with the opposite occurring, the cursed are too autonomous (think of playing a video game character normally versus the sims; both need to be actively piloted/monitored for different reasons).

crouch sr. was skilled in his use of the imperius curse, and he established specific rules that served to keep barty isolated but did not otherwise cause friction with anything unnecessary, which allowed him to operate somewhat normally. he was still dazed and would not have been able to pass as someone who was not under the curse, but crouch didn’t need barty to fool anyone because the entire purpose of the curse was to hide him away entirely. their house elf winky helped him function where barty needed it. barty didn’t have a strong enough sense of self nor the will to break free under normal circumstances, as these are large flaws that have always been part of his personality. there have been times where the curse broke by accident of some kind or because something prompted barty to will it, but learned helplessness caused him to not actually do anything about it. with regulus gone, tom fallen from power and disappeared, his mother dead, his friends turned on him after the trial, the last loyal death eaters imprisoned, and him supposed to be imprisoned/dead, there was nothing for barty. even during the few times he managed to gain his freedom from the curse, he didn’t actually have any freedom. there was nowhere to go, no one to turn to, and not much of a life worth living. frankly, being back in control of himself would allow his severe depression to come forward, so the imperius curse was preferable. at least he would be content under it.

second: what happens after escaping the curse? what are its lasting effects?

there are a lot of potential issues, but some concepts i think are important: i feel like people would struggle with their sense of self, trust in their own judgement, and feel the need to make sure they don't feel that loss of control ever again.

immediately upon coming out of the curse, people are likely to be in a fugue state or otherwise very confused. decision making may not feel natural. they may dissociate, as they have not had full control, may feel like they still don’t have it, and the entire ordeal may have felt like an out of body experience. being thrust back into their own body may feel unreal, and they might suffer from depersonalization (feeling that they themself are not real) or derealization (feeling that the world around them is not real).

they might have permanent cognitive side effects from being in a dream-like, trance state for so long (where the above symptoms become chronic). they may have to deal with wondering how much of what they did was themselves and what was the imperius curse. there may be feelings of guilt and general self-blaming for their behavior, for not having enough will (i.e. in their minds, being too weak) to break free, or for being caught in the first place. they may feel violated, used, or dirty. maybe sometimes wonder if they ever actually got out from the curse, wonder if they can trust themselves to make decisions. deal with paranoia that they might be trapped or controlled, whether by means of being cursed again or even just in other, more subtle ways (like socially, wanting to avoid ever feeling obligated to do things for other people; physically/magically, wanting to be able to fight; emotionally/mentally, not wanting to be made to feel weak). they could possibly become hypervigilant and anxious and/or depressed. some may have memory issues, whether amnesia surrounding time under the curse or problems organizing timelines in chronological order. in general, organized thought may be impaired to some degree. it may be hard to form interpersonal relationships due to lack of trust, feeling misunderstood, insecure, and wanting to self-isolate.

the trauma is unique to the individual, as it depends entirely on what someone was made to do during their time under the curse and for how long, which can be wildly different from person to person. someone who was controlled momentarily in order to steal something for someone versus someone who was controlled for a long period of time and committed a variety of acts like murder might not have much in common between their emotional responses.

for barty, it really just exacerbated issues he already had — he suffered from dissociation, dependency issues, and insecurities about sense of control before azkaban and the imperius curse, due to crouch’s abuse and his own latent mental illness. because it lasted so long for barty, his brain chemistry and thought patterns have been twisted more severely than most survivors. he suffers from disorganized thought, similar to that of someone with schizophrenia or dementia. emotions are more likely to win over logic at times. there are some actions he simply struggles with doing, and there was a period of time post-curse where he couldn’t write coherently and had to make moody do it for him. he loses his train of thought at times, his memories are fuzzy, and he has no clear understanding of who he is as a person because he wasn’t able to be one for so long. he also has a very hard time communicating with people due to the isolation.

#| OOC: HEY GHOULS!#| HC: BARTEMIUS CROUCH JR.#this is long but ive gotten a few questions abt how i view the imperius curse so here !!!!!!!!#ral told me to write it and i am but her servant..................... perhaps she has put me under the curse ? spooky

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circe-poetica · 5 years

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A Midheaven study, MC Leo conjunct Lilith and Regulus

The Black Moon is associated with all the dark faces of the Great Mother; Kali, Black Madonna, Black Tara and, with Mary Magdalene in her form as the Shakti of Christ, so she is a huge image of the Divine Feminine and it is no small thing to have her so powerfully placed. She has claimed you as one of Her own and wants you to be an agent for her power in the world. Any image of Lilith around our career life demands that we develop the sacred feminine warrior energies and give them expression. Black Moon/Lilith, especially in Leo, points towards doing it from a place of great personal power and individualism, as opposed to old beliefs that set us up for subservience. She can be found in people who work in areas like defending the rights of women, refugees, the under-privileged; in international law, in war zones, in women’s refuges. She is a gutsy advocate, activist, on the side of the deepest emotional truths and in any area of life where the feminine has continued to be dishonoured, rejected and abused.

She is as much found in deep therapeutic and spiritual process, as in those who work on the life and death edges, like hospice work, conscious dying or in casualty departments. (The word spirituality is too light weight for her energy here as she is a form of great Shakti, the transformative serpentine power of the sacred feminine!) Therapeutically, Lilith is comfortably operating in those who work with sexuality, masculine/feminine balances, sexual abuse and healing, relationship dynamics (especially in helping women regain their individuality and personal power) and in tantric processes. And in working with the deepest ends of the emotional spectrum; rage, grief, all forms of toxicity, past-life and trans-generational residues and influences, conception/in-utero/birth traumas. This where the “curse” label comes in, as anyone with strong Lilith positions is a carrier of the same, the accumulation of rage, toxicity, grief and betrayal that comes form lifetimes, ages and generations of rejection of the feminine in all her forms. So part of the journey of owning her power, and your own, is through processes that allow you to purify and release these carried residues. Whether through primal work, spiritual or shamanic midwifery, whatever takes you into these deepest places, it is absolutely necessary to be able to own this part of your birthright. The unfortunate truth is that distorted Lilith or any of the other “Dark Goddesses” are fully able to sabotage your life in their unhealed forms.

Regal Regulus at 29º Leo has the honor of being the closest star to the ecliptic and therefore closest to the red carpet path of the glorious Sun. Regulus is a triple 1.3 magnitude star that flashes white and ultramarine. It is found, naturally, in the brave heart of the constellation Leo the Lion. Regulus officially entered tropical Virgo on November 28th 2011.* Could Regulus crossing this symbolic sphinx cusp, Leo to Virgo, herald the age of Aquarius? Many astrologers speculate that Virgo will teach Leo to put aside ego, dispense personal glory, become more humanitarian and have respect for mother Earth itself. Other ‘star seed’ type commentators describe a switch from service-to-self (Leo) towards service-to-others. (Virgo=Service, Aquarius=Others).

Now all this assumes that Leo’s ego is somehow a bad thing! Conversely however, those with a weak sense of self are also those that suffer from narcissistic personality disorders (And other related Dark triad traits. See Ceres post.) Without a strong sovereignty, service-to-others can become co-dependancy and doormat syndrome! Regulus is the archangel Raphael, one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. On the fixed cross, Regulus is one of four cherubim, symbolised by the Bull, Lion, Eagle and Human. These are the signs Taurus (Aldebaran), Leo (Regulus), Scorpio (Antares) and Aquarius (Fomalhaut) respectively. You can see these Archangels on the corners of the Rider-Waite tarot deck on the Wheel of Fortune and The World.

“Early English astrologers made it (Regulus) a portent of glory, riches, and power to all born under its influence”and this fixed star is generally considered fortunate, courageous, successful and all those great qualities associated with the sun sign Leo.

Regulus has its negative side. “It gives violence, destructiveness, military honor of short duration, with ultimate failure, imprisonment, violent death” Bernadette Brady associates Regulus with downfall. Regulus is pure divine-masculine energy, which these days is often portrayed in Hollywood at its lowest, crudest vibration.

Otherwise, Hollywood seems to delight in ridiculing and belittling Regulus energy. For example Disney has removed the Prince’s true love kiss in ‘Frozen’ and denigrates heroic, chivalrous men in ‘Enchanted’. This could also be seen as Regulus’s ‘downfall’, but it is a manipulated one. It suggests that all the testosterone-fuelled, courageous energy of Regulus’s past is somehow ‘wrong’ and so the solution is we must rip the balls off every feisty Lion.

Can we shift from service-to-self to a service-to-others mentality? It’s hard to feel like you want to be “of service”if you are essentially already living as a slave. The working classes suffer most from cheaper, imported labour. These working classes, (often vilified as ‘Chavs’ or ‘Rednecks’) are craving Regulus empowerment and fame through ‘selfies’ and reality TV shows. Why? Because the despised ‘populist’ working class are subconsciously grasping for their lost sovereignty and culture with this apparently narcissistic, negative-Regulus behaviour.

For approximately the last 600 years Regulus has been in Leo decan 3, which is ruled by aggressive Mars in both systems and Leo decan 3 includes the influence of Regulus so; “They are always right, their rule is absolute, any challenge to their authority is seen as betrayal. Loyality, loyality and more loyality, this is the number one demand of their loved ones.”

Medieval astrologers said Regulus would bring glory, riches and fame to all those born under it, and that it was the ‘Royall Starre’. Robson says Regulus gives “success, high and lofty ideals and strength of spirit, and makes its natives magnanimous, grandly liberal, generous, ambitious, fond of power, desirous of command, high-spirited and independent.” It is important to bear in mind, even with Regulus in Virgo, the ‘Royall Starre’. will still carry its original meaning for natal charts.

Regulus Keywords

Brave, bloodthirsty, gutsy, ambitious, driven, unstoppable, proud, pompous, majestic, magical, vain, arrogant, egotistical, regal, owning one’s sovereignty, loyal, poised, famous, flamboyant, fabulous, dashing, flash, outrageous, chivalrous, courteous, conquering, entrepreneurial, outré, controversial, glorious, bold, hot, brutish, sexy, passionate, diva-esque, haughty, naughty, playful, flirty, childlike, extremist, romantic, generous, fanatical, bossy, unhinged, stalker, predatory, man-eater, mentorship, ability to prophecy, seer, benevolent leader, assuming responsibility, parental, protector of the people, in service for the greater good, connection to ones pride, a statesman/woman, alchemical transition to the Red King (Rubedo), the path to individuation.

Regulus Midheaven

“Honor, preferment, good fortune, high office under Government, military success. If with Sun, Moon or Jupiter, great honor and ample fortune.” [4]

Jackie Kennedy Onassis;(03′) Regulus’s near neighbour is the rather bloodthirsty star Phecda, this I believe is what gives the Regulus its raw martial side. The beastly nature of the Lion isn’t afraid to throw itself into battle and get blood on its hands. This is graphically demonstrated with Jackie, for after John Kennedy was shot, she refused to remove her bloodstain pink Chanel suit. Regretting having washed her bloodstained face and hands, she stated “ I want them to see what they have done to Jack” [2] Of course the woman was an icon, more poised and regal then most real life royals and exuded bravery and loyalty. The Vatican; Much bloodshed in the name of Jesus Christ… Barbara Windsor; Soap matriarch and ex landlady of the Queen Victoria, with a regal sounding surname. Patricia Routledge; Famous for her portrayal of snob Francis Bucket (“pronounced Bouquet…”) in British comedy ‘Keeping Up Appearances.’ Mark David Chapman; Famous for bringing down king of rock John Lennon. Jimmy Page; Rock singer with wild blond mane. Prince; Well he’s Prince… Bernadette Brady;Astrologer. Also Michael Douglas, Clint Eastwood, Mata Hari, Patrick McNee, Henri Toulous Lautrec, Jim Carrey, Shania Twain, Claudia Shiffer, Peter Stringfellow.

https://danielsowelu.com/a-prominent-lilith-on-the-midheaven/

https://darkstarastrology.com/regulus/

#midheaven study #regulus #lilith in leo

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oopsbirdficced · 6 years

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The Dreaming

This is poorly disguised Saint Seiya- The Lost Canvas fanfiction, I admit it. Sendoa is Capricorn El Cid, and Iason is Sagittarius Sisyphus. Written for a writing contest on Flight Rising, this was the Freestyle entry, meaning it didn't have to be about the site's pet dragons. The mythology here is kept purposefully vague.

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"In the act of killing the gods of the Dreaming thou hast inherited their powers. Congratulations, new gods, may thy reign be blessed, and may thou not abuse thy powers as they did.”

The words still echoed in his ears, even days later. Iason never wanted to kill anyone, his hand had been forced by the circumstances. He sighed softly, looking over at Sendoa. Sendoa was even more at odds than he was. The dream gods had stolen Iason’s soul, putting his body in a comatose state. Sendoa had quested to free him, but his freedom had come with a cost- and a dubious reward. That he now had their powers- well, if it troubled Iason, it troubled Sendoa even more.

Their transition into immortality had been seamless- Iason wasn't even sure when it had happened, before or after they had spoken to the god of death. Sendoa was staying at his house, unable to leave Iason alone. Iason knew Sendoa was scared that he'd wake up and it would have been a dream, actually rescuing him. Iason hadn’t slept in three days, and neither had Sendoa, and he at least felt none the worse for wear for it. However, this denial wasn't sustainable.

“Sendoa,” he broke the silence tentatively, voice soft in the oppressive atmosphere. “We need to face this. We have to accept it, or the world is going to suffer, and that includes our families. My brother and his wife, my nephew, they all need to be able to dream, and if we don't confront this…” his voice failed him, and he stood from his seat by the window. “I'm going to sleep, Sendoa. I'd like it if you joined me.” He held his hand out to his dearest friend, and Sendoa stared at it for a long moment. He was frowning deeply, a muscle jumping in his jaw from tension. Sendoa was wound tight as a spring, and it wasn't healthy. Was he even going to be able to sleep? Sendoa had always been a serious, quiet man, his kindness hidden by an intense drive to better himself.

“Will you lie down with me?” Sendoa asked finally, hard-won vulnerability peeking through his tense and unhappy demeanor. Iason smiled, taking his hands and pulling him to his feet.

“If you want me to, I'll be happy to.” He said warmly. They hadn't shared a bed in long years, and Iason always loved company while sleeping. It probably stemmed from all of his time caretaking his nephew for his brother- Regulus was a very physically affectionate child. He told Sendoa to meet him in his bedroom, and changed into a soft, long nightshirt and equally soft shorts. Sendoa met him wearing soft long pants, and they curled up under the sheets of his bed.

A few long moments passed, before Iason sighed softly.

“When we go to bed, you're supposed to sleep, Sendoa.” He said softly, turning onto his side. Sendoa stared stubbornly at the ceiling, jaw set. He sighed again, sitting up and tugging at Sendoa until his head was in his lap. Sendoa looked up at him, expression belligerently bewildered. “Relax,” he murmured, beginning to gently rub his temples. Sendoa sighed softly, and slowly relaxed. Once he was nearly asleep, Iason gently rearranged them so he could lie down too, and pulled him close.

Sleep descended gently, pulling them under sweetly.

Iason opened his eyes to dim darkness. Sitting up he discerned the shapes of large pale stone gates, the space within them filled with formless voids. That struck him as wrong, as he climbed to his feet, seeing that the space was vertical as well as horizontal, and gates loomed above him, too, seemingly to float in the air, but also planted on solid ground. It only struck Iason as strange if he thought about it too long, so he tried not to. He wandered down one formless hallway, looking around for Sendoa.

“Sendoa?” He called, listening for any response.

“Iason! There you are!” Sendoa looked a little wild around the eyes as he jumped down from another level and caught him up in his arms tightly.

“Easy, Sendoa, I'm here!” Iason soothed. “What has you on edge?” He asked, stroking Sendoa’s back softly. He was holding Iason so tightly he swore he could hear his ribs creak.

“These are the Gates of the Dreamers. They had you locked up in here, stuck in your gate, sealed with a wall of magic. It took the power of the Lady to open it and release you, while I distracted the gods of dreams.” He told Iason, shuddering at the memory. Iason had no memory of this- probably for the best.

“I'm sorry, Sendoa. My weakness made you suffer-”

“Never say that!” Sendoa interrupted, practically shouting in Iason’s face. “I'm sorry. But please, don't say that,” he asked in a more reasonable tone. “It, it hurts me, when you say you're a burden, or that your actions have caused others suffering, because it's not true. You are sweet and kind and selfless, and a stronger person than I will ever be.” The words were dragged out from someplace deep inside him, aching and honest. Iason felt tears prick his eyes.

“Oh, Sendoa. You're a better person than you think you are, I promise.” Iason murmured, tucking his face into the crook of Sendoa’s neck. They stayed like that for a moment, before Iason stepped back, wiping his eyes and looking around with newfound determination. “Well. I'm not keeping this place like this, all dark and gloomy and full of bad memories.” A thought occurred to him. It's a dream, right? They could do anything here, and he's always wanted…

A gasp told him his idea had worked. He unfurled huge, golden wings, shining with inner light, and laughed, jumping up into the air.

“Come on, Sendoa! Fly with me!” He laughed, and Sendoa awkwardly, haltingly lifted into the air to meet him. He gave Sendoa a wry little smile. “I meant give yourself wings, it looks a bit silly just like that.” He said gently. Sendoa closed his eyes, frowning in concentration. After a few minutes, black wings to match Iason’s gold spread from his shoulders. Iason smiled in delight. “Beautiful, Sendoa, you're beautiful,” he said, and bit his inner cheek. He hadn't meant to compliment him that obviously. Sendoa smiled, though, quiet and private, and took his hand.

“Come on.” He said softly, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. Iason smiled shyly, and they flew.

“Why are the gates dark?” Iason murmured, pressing a hand to pale stone. Light spiraled out from his hand, and the stone turned pale, glimmering gold, spreading throughout the endless halls of the Dreaming.

“Iason,” Sendoa gasped his name in awe. Iason smiled, awed and delighted by the change. “The gates are still dark within. When I was here… before, they showed scenes of their dreamer. But this, this is an entirely pleasant change.” Iason smiled back, newly energized.

“I think I could make it better,” he murmured, before flinging himself into the air and spreading his wings wide, willing what he wanted to come to fruition. The air filled with golden motes of light, making the endless gloom softly lit and welcoming. Sendoa laughed, a rare and cherished sound.

“Beautiful, Iason. Like you.” His answering smile was a little cheeky and sly, and Iason giggled, even as his heart swelled.

“A gate over there is unlit, though,” Sendoa pointed, clasping Iason’s hand. “I wonder why?” Iason followed his direction, curious, and indeed, one gate is still unlit. He flew over, touching the stonework. It was cold to the touch, and made a shiver slide down his spine. “Perhaps if I touch it?” Sendoa asked, pressing his hand to the stone. Immediately doors filled the empty void, wrought of silvery metal, with elaborate, scrollwork handles. Dark scrollwork marked the stone frame of the massive double door, and Iason and Sendoa exchanged surprised looks.

“Go on,” Iason whispered, curious. Sendoa set his hands to the doors with a sigh, and pulled. They opened smoothly, not even a whisper of a creak marring their hinges. Inside was a study, dark and draped in soft fabrics. The candles lighting the room burned pale and dim, the only source of light. On one wall stood a massive mirror that reflected only cloudy mist, framed in heavy velvet drapery. Iason attempted to exert his will upon the space, unsuccessfully.

Sendoa glanced from him to the room, before closing his eyes with a frown. The room brightened, the candles now burning tall and smokeless. A window with a view of a starry night, full moon shining down, opened on the wall. the drapery of the room lightened from black to a rich red and brown. With the improved light, Iason saw something he hadn't earlier: a crown wrought of dark, filigree metal resting on a black velvet pillow on the desk.

“You should put it on, Sendoa. I think it's important.” Iason said softly, pointing the crown out to Sendoa. Sendoa looked incredibly reluctant, but picked up the delicate thing, resting it among his curls. It sat against his brow like it was meant to be there, and Iason smiled softly. “You look terribly regal, Sendoa.” He murmured. Sendoa managed a small, tight smile, before he turned to look at the mirror.

“I think I know what that is.” He said. “If you are all that is sweet and golden in the Dreaming… then I must be your opposing force.” He strode forward, Iason shadowing him, and pressed a hand to the misty mirror. After a moment, he sank through the surface. Iason hesitated for a moment, before following, shivering when passing through the surface made him feel like he'd been plunged into an ice bath. He staggered into Sendoa’s back, clinging and strangely afraid. His skin and wings lost their strange golden luster, but Sendoa was now emitting a dark radiance. Perhaps this was his domain, then, as the world of doors was Iason’s? He peered over Sendoa’s shoulder to see monstrous shapes approaching through the mist. There was only one place this could really be: the realm of nightmares. Sendoa stood firm, uncowed by the monsters of nightmare, and one by one they bent knee to him. Sendoa inclined his head in return.

“You may remain, but know this: fear may play an important role in the human psyche, but it does not rule anyone.” He said, quiet and stern. All the monsters seemed to agree somehow, and departed back into the mists.

Iason was relieved when they returned to the cozy little study. As necessary as the nightmare realm was, it was, well. Unpleasant. Strangely, Sendoa retained his radiance, even out in Iason’s realm.

“It seems odd that our realms don't seem to be on an equal level.” Iason said instead of commenting on that. Sendoa frowned, nodding slowly.

“I have a theory. This must have been my dream gate from when I was mortal. Which means you have one somewhere as well.” He said. That made sense. Iason’s eyes lingered on Sendoa’s crown, and a thought occurred to him as well.

“What if putting on that crown symbolized an acceptance of your powers? If I have one too, maybe we can restructure this realm of dreams into something balanced, stable.” He said slowly, growing more sure of himself as he spoke. “Yes, I think that's it. We need to find my gate!” He took wing again, looking around helplessly. Sendoa caught his hand, and pulled him along, arrowing straight for a gate that looked like all the others. Perhaps slightly more golden, but, still…?

“How did you know?” Iason asked softly, pressing his hand to warm stone. His door sprang into being, identical to Sendoa’s but for golden scrollwork in place of dark.

“You forget. I've been here before, and this is where you were trapped.” Sendoa murmured, as Iason pushed the doors open. The room was similar to Sendoa’s, except draped all in white, with no mirror. Iason concentrated, and the colors shifted to cream and pale blue, window appearing to the same night sky. He strode to the desk, and allowed himself a brief moment of hesitation, before taking up the white-gold crown and placing it on his head.

The world seemed to suddenly snap into place, and an anxiety Iason didn't realize was there eased. He turned, stretching a hand out to Sendoa.

“Shall we make this world anew?” He asked, and Sendoa smiled faintly.

“Yes.”

#original fiction #saint seiya #the lost canvas #mythology #dreams #gods #and godslayers #and Sisyphus's guilt complex #definitely shippy #sisycid

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perf-patricia · 7 years

Text

Lethal - AU Tomione

I made a thing guys, something no one asked for but oh well.

When Tom got the call at the end of his 'Advanced Organic Chemistry' lecture he saw red. Hermione was in the emergency room because she had been attacked early in the morning. He looked at the time and thought of how not long ago he had said goodbye to her with a promise to meet up later for lunch. He immediately began to jog out of the university building and made his way to his car. How the fuck did the time fly by so fucking fast. Why didn't I call her? What the fuck I wrong with me? What if- Before he was able to drown himself in his thoughts a flash of pale blond hair stopped him.

"Tom, what happened." Both of his arms had found their way to Toms shoulders, that's when Tom noticed he had been shaking. Abraxas eyes were alert and Tom knew he must have the look of a wild man by the way Abraxas was acting.

"Hermione, she's in the emergency room." He swallowed, the words were hard to get out but the truth, the truth was even more atrocious. "Someone attacked her, Abraxas. I wasn't there to . . . I promised to keep her safe. How could this-" Tom bent over and gasped for air, moaning as a wounded animal. If the words where finally seeping into him, Hermione is lying in the hospital in pain.

Tom was devolving before Abraxas' eyes and he knew if he didn't get Tom out of the public's eye they would attack him like yearlong hungered animals. Abraxas steered Tom towards his car. Once they were both inside Abraxas made his way towards the nearest hospital. The car ride was completely silent and that unnerved Abraxas. By the time they reached the hospital Tom looked completely different, all had drained from his face and the look in his eyes could kill. Tom made quick work to find Hermione and soon enough both him and Abraxas were standing in front of her room.

When Tom saw Hermione, lying in the hospital bed all life seemed to be drained from her, he was livid. His girl was in pain. His. Girl.

"Who would do this to her?" A stupid question they were both wondering and still they both seemed to know the answer.

"Bellatrix," they both said at the same time. "I'll kill her Tom, if she did this to Hermione, I'll kill her." Abraxas said as he took in the condition that Hermione was in.

"Oh, I'm sorry but only family is allowed in," a bland nurse said as she walked into check in on Hermione. "We are her family," Abraxas said as he began to walk out of the room, "I'm going to give her parents a call." He said nodding at Tom.

"Don't worry them Abraxas, I will take care of everything."

"Well, if you are going to be the one to look after Miss Granger then I must tell you." The nurse began to say, making sure only Tom was the only one within earshot.

"What she's gone through â€¦ if she makes it though, it won't be easy. I'm terribly sorry to have to ask you this honey, but it gonna be a lot to deal with. What she's going though, the hell she will endure after, are you sure you can be there for her? Because if you can't assure me that you won't leave this poor girl, then there's no point in you staying." She said picking up Hermione's chart and checking on her vitals.

"I won't give up on her, and I will most certainly never leave her." Tom said with the upmost compassion and honesty. The way he said it made the woman believe him, too. Without hesitation Tom was ready to give up his life if it meant having Hermione back. "Now will you please tell me what's happened to her?" There was a look in his eyes that was so raw and vulnerable that the nurse had to look away, how do you tell someone their loved one has been violated in the worst of all ways?

"She was beaten and stabbed multiple times" The nurse cringe when she looked back to Hermione's medical chart. "She's just now gotten out of surgery but I'm afraid she will need to go back in an hour or two to repair some injured organs." She continued but refused to look Tom in the eyes. There was something, something worse that she wasn't telling him.

"What else is there? What haven't you told me?" He began to probe, but still the woman would not speak. "She is the person I love, the only person I've ever loved in my entire life. And she is lying unconscious in this hospital because I want there to protect her, now you aren't telling me something. I need to know that she will be okay and that I can prevent this from happening ever again. For me to be able to do that you need to tell the entire truth." Still the woman would not budge. "Please, I just need to kn-"

"We also found vaginal tearing, it was severally extensive and we can only assume that she suffered a great deal of pain. Judging by the chemicals that were in her blood stream when she came in she was most likely drugged before the attack took place. This all correlates with a sexual assault." The room was silent, pain staking soundless, all that could be heard was the noise that came from every machine that was helping Hermione stay alive.

A pained look came over Tom's face, how could something so vile happen to such a beautiful being? How will she react when she comes to? Will she blame herself? Or will she hate me? For how long will she hate me? What can I do to help her? How do I make sure that she knows this doesn't affect her worth or her beauty? How do I help her with this?

Before Tom was able to respond to the nurse, a loud noise started to ring from one of the machines that was connected to Hermione. People ran into her room in a matter of seconds and in a heartbeat Hermione was being moved. All he managed to get was that something had gone wrong so they were taking her back into surgery sooner than expected. "It should only be a few hours, honey." The nurse told him as she left.

Lestrange, it was both of them, fucking both of them. They attacked her. They got to her when she was defenseless. They decided to strike when I wasn't around. Everything was premeditated. Every last detail was perfected. And so of course I knew, it wasn't their plan. It wasn't for their reasons it was all for Bellatrix. She hated Hermione from the moment she started school with us. Since she started school with us Bellatrix has been after Hermione. Every day it would be some different scheme to get people to hate the new girl. Eventually when none of Bellatrix's plans played out accordingly he hatred escalated. Instead of attempting to ruin Hermione's reputation, she was out for blood. Bellatrix began to push Hermione around, but she didn't get far. The only incident there was, was a vicious example of Bellatrix's misdirected hate, Bellatrix pushed an unsuspecting Hermione out of the third story window in the library. Hermione, a girl everyone loved, did not simply fall out a third story window. Everyone knew that Bellatrix was the one responsible, it was clearly visible in the way she would walk down the hall. During Hermione's stay in the hospital wing of the school Bellatrix began to exert her old personality. This was a side of her that Tom was never really fond of. He didn't pay the encounter any mind until Hermione recovered and was allowed to leave the hospital wing.

It was very subtle revenge plan. It began with Bellatrix being iced out of every social club and outing. Before long it was only Bellatrix and her boyfriend. Then she began to receive anonymous messages, someone chose not to physically harm Bellatrix but to manipulate her mind. Tom was loving every minute of it, his first guess was one of her cousins, Abraxas, Regulus, or even Sirius. Then animal carcasses began to appear in Bellatrix's room until one day she walked in on a dying crow, she watched as the life drained from its body. The interesting thing about all the "attacks" on Bellatrix was that there was never any proof of them. Eventually Bellatrix became so paranoid that she sought out Hermione in the library, a quiet place of sanction, and confronted her on the mysterious occurrences. Hermione simply smiled at Bellatrix and said, "I'm the storm you were never prepared for, sunshine." With that Hermione made her way towards the library exit, looking back towards Bellatrix. Smirking, seemingly satisfied with the petrified Bellatrix, "If this mysterious person continues to persecute you, Bella, don't hesitate to reach out to me." She walked out with a brutal look in her eyes and after that no one dared get in her way.

Before anyone became the wiser Bellatrix had been expelled from the prestigious school for substance abuse. There are only so many times a professor is willing to write off the "usual" misbehavior. It wasn't a problem in Tom's eyes, not at all. A smart girl getting rid of the slag who's only ambition was to gain more attention. Someone had to put Bellatrix in her place. That was the moment Tom began to take notice for the girl with frizzy, wild hair in the year below him. She was fucking lethal. Tom became attracted to Hermione because of her personality, she was vicious as was her mind. That was the underlining factor that really got Tom. She was absolutely brilliant. She was the top of her class. What Tom would give to have her in his year, some competition would be nice.

Hermione came out of the surgery seven hours after Tom had arrived at the hospital.

Hermione didn't wake up until two days after she got out of her last surgery.

Hermione didn't say anything for five days, after her attack.

Hermione was in the hospital for 10 days, recovering from her attack.

#Tomione fanfic that no one asked for #tom marvolo riddle #Hermione Jean Granger #tom riddle #Hermione Granger #tomione fanfiction #tomione #Tom x Hermione #tom+riddle+x+hermione+granger #Harry Potter AU #M for Mature #hogwarts #Nonmagic au #asthetic #bruised and battered #dark hermione #comforting tom

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severusdefender · 7 years

Text

Severus Snape fandom survey results

This is long so I’m putting it under the cut.

The survey received 329 responses. It was made up of two sections. The first section had six questions which dealt with the demographic structure of the fandom. The second section had twenty-four questions dealing with fandom and life experiences.

Starting with the closed ended questions:

1. Where do you come from?

There were so many different responses from all (inhabited) continents that I’m just going to list the top 5.

USA 46%

UK 9%

Germany 7%

Australia 3%

Brazil 3%

2. What is your religion?

Again we’re going to do the top 5 because there were so many religions.

Christianity 30%

Non-religious 21%

Atheism 16%

Agnosticism 10%

Islam 5%

3. What is your race?

White 71%

Black 4%

Asian 8%

Latinx 5%

Mixed race 7%

Middle Eastern/Arab 1%

Indigenous people 1%

N/A 3%

4. What is your gender?

Cisgender female 74.5%

Cisgender male 1.5%

Transgender female 4.6%

Transgender male 4.6%

Non binary individual 9.7%

Other 5.2% *

*The percentages are affected once we go into the ‘Other’ answers but I’m not comfortable forcing a label on someone

5. What is your sexual orientation?

Heterosexuality 31.6%

Homosexuality 7%

Bisexuality 28.3%

Pansexuality 12.2%

Asexuality 16.7%

Polysexuality 0.9%

Other 3.3%*

*percentages change when the ‘Other’ answers are looked into usually increasing the number of LBGTQIAP+ members

6. What is your romantic orientation?

Heteroromantic 34.7%

Homoromantic 8.8 %

Biromantic 27.1%

Panromantic 15.8%

Aromantic 5.5%

Polyromantic 3.6%

Other 4.6%*

*percentages change when the ‘Other’ answers are looked into usually increasing the number of LBGTQIAP+ members

I would like to take this moment to apologise for neglecting Intersex and Omnisexual and Omniromantic members of our fandom. We’ll do better next time.

7. What is your Hogwarts House?

Slytherin 51.1%

Gryffindor 9.7%

Ravenclaw 24%

Hufflepuff 15.2%

8. What is your favourite Harry Potter book?

Half-blood Prince 36.5%

Prisoner of Azkaban 21%

Order of Phoenix 12.2%

Deathly Hallows 12.2%

Goblet of Fire 9.4%

Chamber of Secrets 4.6%

Philosopher’s Stone 4.3%

Do you suffer from a type of mental illness?

Yes 53.8%

No 36.8%

Other 9.4%*

*answers include having mental illness in the past, detailing specific mental health issues, being undiagnosed, currently recovering or having recovered from mental illness, and being not quite sure.

9. Do you face discrimination for who you are?

Yes 53.8%

No 34.3%

Other 11.9%*

*answers submitted include facing discrimination sometimes, occasionally, or rarely, describing prejudices encountered, being able to pass, facing discrimination in the past but not currently, and being unsure.

10. How would you describe yourself in terms of economic class?

Middle class 71.7%

Lower class 23.7%

Upper class 2.1%

Other 2.4%*

*responses include between middle and lower class, below the poverty line, poor, and upper middle class.

11. Have you survived trauma?

Yes 55.9%

No 39.2%

Other 4.9%*

*answers include bullying, loss of loved ones, abuse, sexual assault, loved ones going through trauma, mental illness, poverty, domestic violence, and uncertainty.

12. If you have survived trauma, did it contribute to your love for Severus Snape?

Before we start, for a while I made this question mandatory to answer by accident and I only noticed a few days later so some of the people who answered ‘no’ in the previous question likely answered ‘no’ here too. Keep that in mind.

Yes 50%

No 38.3%

Other 11.7%*

*replies include it contributes to some extent, fans relating to him particularly his losses and his isolation, it helped fans understand him better, it added to the love they already had for him, and fans being undecided.

13. Has Severus Snape helped you in any way in dealing with your trauma, discrimination and/or mental illness?

Once again this question was mandatory when it shouldn’t have been.

Yes 59.9%

No 33.4%

Other 6.7%*

*answers include the question not being applicable, Severus helped them understand themselves, never occurred to them before, he possibly helped, and he helped some cope with high school, work, etc.

14. Who do you ship Severus Snape with?

Lily Evans 32.5%

No one 25.8%

Harry Potter 19.1%

Hermione Granger 28.3%

Remus Lupin 17.9%

Lucius Malfoy 14.3%

Sirius Black 9.1%

Albus Dumbledore 7.3%

Minerva McGonagall 5.8%

Draco Malfoy 2.7%

Other 27.4%*

*Other characters include: Regulus Black, Severus Snape/fan, Severus Snape/happiness, Original characters, older versions of Harry and Hermione, James Potter, Barty Crouch jr, Mad Eye Moody, Arthur Weasley, Rebeus Hagrid, Narcissa Malfoy, any slash pairing, anyone who would love him, Severus Snape/reader, and Kingsley Shacklebolt.

15. What other characters do you love besides Severus Snape?

None 2.4%

Harry Potter 44.1%

Hermione Granger 58.1%

Ron Weasley 30.7%

Draco Malfoy 36.2%

Lucius Malfoy 23.4%

Remus Lupin 47.1%

Albus Dumbledore 23.4%

Sirius Black 28.6%

James Potter 4%

Ginny Weasley 22.2%

Fred Weasley 43.2%

George Weasley 42.9%

Molly Weasley 28.3%

Arthur Weasley 22.8%

Minerva McGonagall 58.1%

Neville Longbottom 41.6%

Luna Lovegood 62%

Other 25.5%*

*Other characters include: Lily Evans, Percy Weasley, Gilderoy Lockhart, Dobby, Sybill Trelawney, Andromeda Tonks, Kreacher, Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy, Hedwig, Rebeus Hagrid, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Bill Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Aberforth Dumbledore, Narcissa Malfoy, Filius Flitwick, Fleur Delacour, Barty Crouch Jr, Blaise Zabini, Newt Scamander, Queenie Goldstein, Jacob Kowalski, Dolores Umbridge, Lavender Brown, and Bellatrix Lestrange.

16. Have you read Cursed Child?

Yes 56.2%

No 43.8%

17. If yes, did you enjoy it?

Another question where I didn’t make it optional from the beginning so the percentages are affected.

Yes 40.8%

No 27.6%

Other 31.6%*

*answers include people not having read it, unsure of how they feel about it, kind of liked it, mostly liked it, only enjoyed Severus’ parts, found it unintentionally funny, enjoyed some parts but not others, and ‘meh’.

18. Are you active in the Severus Snape fandom?

Yes 29.2%

No 15.5%

I try to be 47.4%

Other 7.9%*

*answers include following blogs but not posting anything/lurking, making fanworks, not active but wanting to be, leaving comments on fics and reblogging posts, not anymore, and not active but planning to be.

19. Are you part of another fandom?

Yes 82.4%

No 12.8%

Other 4.9*

*answers include people posting the fandoms they’re in (interestingly Game of Thrones and Sherlock Holmes show up a lot), and Harry Potter fandom in general.

20. Would you say that fandom hate affects your engagement with the Severus Snape fandom?

Yes 48.6%

No 43.5%

Other 7.9%*

*answers include it makes some want to engage with the Severus Snape fandom more, somewhat affects, sometimes affects, takes time and effort away from sharing love and ideas, leads to avoiding or ignoring haters, used to but anymore, and leads to worrying about attacks.

Now for the open ended questions:

21. What traits do you value the most?

Common responses were honesty, intelligence, loyalty, kindness and courage, with most of answers having a variation of these four. Other responses include humour, ambition, social justice awareness, hard work, creativity, resourcefulness and reliability.

I find it interesting that Severus Snape shares some of these traits.

22. How old were you when you first read Harry Potter?

Majority of the responders were between the age of 10- 20. A significant number were below the age of 10. There were a quite a number of people over the age of 30. The oldest responder was in their 50s. A few couldn’t remember the exact age. The average age was 13 years old.

23. How old were you when you first realised you liked Severus Snape?

The aim of this question is to know the average amount of time it took for fans to become attached to Severus Snape. On average, it took 3 years. The mode was 2 years. Take into account the years between book releases, individuals taking time to finish the books and Severus’ character before the Prince’s Tale.

24. What do you like about Severus Snape?

Many of you said everything. Common answers include his wit, honesty, resilience, loyalty, courage, intelligence, perseverance, complexity, and redemption. Inversely some have said they liked his temper, bitterness, insecurities, coldness towards others, pettiness, lack of hygiene, and physical unattractiveness. Hilariously, someone referred to him as Walter White in reverse as he is first a spy who is forced to take a Chemistry like job as part of his cover. His backstory was another thing that attracted fans particularly his history of being bullied and abused.

25. What do you dislike about Severus Snape?

Many said nothing. Common answers include his treatment of his students, ill temper, harshness, pettiness, inability to move on from his past, lack of relationship with others, and immaturity. That he joined Death Eaters is a response that showed up a handful of times. Some of the answers were basically saying it was annoying that he died. Quite a few felt J K Rowling didn’t really do much in terms of his redemption. Others felt he was too loyal to Dumbledore and Lily. Funny answers include that he didn’t destroy Umbridge, the creepy jars of pickled animals in his office, that he died at all, he isn’t real (many have also that if he were real they would get into fist fights with him).

26. How do you see Severus Snape in your head?

The responses were very varied so first I’ll list the most frequent features, orientations and other headcanons. First majority saw him as Alan Rickman, sometimes tweaked in terms of age, size and orientation, etc. Adrian Brody, Shazad Latif and Adam Driver are other fancasts. Features that recurred include tall, skinny (or in that range), not conventionally attractive, greasy hair, gaunt face, black eyes, and hooked nose. The fandom also saw him as average to short with medium length hair, and dexterous fingers. As for race, majority saw him as white but a substantial portion of the fandom had nonwhite headcanons specifically Arab, Jewish, Asian, and Rromani.

The sexual orientations were also varied with asexuality in the lead followed by bisexuality, heterosexuality, pansexuality and homosexuality. Romantic orientations mentioned the most are demiromantic, biromantic, homoromantic and panromantic. Gender headcanons weren’t specified often but non binary genders had an edge with a significant number of responders seeing her as a trans woman. There were also intersex headcanons.

Many answers comprised of behavior and mental health headcanons with most seeing him at least mentally unhealthy. Depression and PTSD were mentioned regularly. A sizeable part of the fandom disagreed with commonly held headcanons. They felt Severus’ ethnic features (large, hooked nose, oily hair and skin tone) were not inherently ugly. They also felt that he was not unhygienic as he wasn’t described with bad body odour. Also I saw more facial hair headcanons than I expected.

27. What is Severus Snape’s most iconic moment?

The most iconic moment by a margin was ‘Always.’ ‘Turn to page 394’ and the patronus were second and third. A list of other iconic moments include:

The scene in Prisoner of Azkaban with the trio and werewolf Lupin.

‘Obviously.’

The Half Blood Prince

Killing Dumbledore (especially the ‘Snape killed Dumbledore’ meme)

His death

‘DON’T CALL ME A COWARD’

The duel with Lockhart

First Potions class

Revealing the Dark Mark to Fudge

28. How does hatred towards Severus Snape in the Harry Potter fandom make you feel?

This is admittedly one of the two most important questions in the survey. I’ll explain in a separate post why but let’s get to it. The fandom felt annoyed, sad, angry, upset, disgusted, and frustrated. A lot of the hate seemed to hurt the fandom. Some of the responses were longer and gave more details such as feelings towards victim blaming, actions blown out of proportions, more attractive characters being given leeway in comparison, canon facts being twisted and fanon being treated as canon. A fraction of the fandom was indifferent.

29. What would you like to see more of the Severus Snape fandom?

Replies include more

fanworks in general