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gadriezmannsgirl · 1 year

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Our Ray of Sunshine -P.G

Also known as Gender Reveal (2), feedbacks are appreciated, enjoy! Fun fact: I didn't knew what Helena name meant, when I searched for it, it matched with the title I had already given to the fic :)

Summary: Your babygirl is finally here

After the Gender Reveal, all people surrounding you have been over the moon, including you and Pablo, passing from calling it 'It' or 'Baby' to 'She/Her', coming up with names but never getting one, Pablo already had a nickname for her, her aunties, uncles, godfather and even grandparents (Both by blood and by choice/heart) have bought almost every single pink article of clothing, bib, everything, you name it, possible.

They forgot the fact they had already purchased her, a lot of things.

"She's not even born" You began folding her clothes, you already had eight piles of it "and I think I'm gonna have to give a few of these away to others"

"What? Why?" Pablo asked from besides you, looking up from his laptop

"I have already seen the same 'I'm aunties little girl' onesie five times" You look at him, said onesie in your hand showing it to him. He smiled without showing his teeth recognizing the gift as Aurora's one.

"I helped her get that one" You give him a look

"Helena already has that one" You say "In fact, she has other four like that but in different color"

"Just in case she doesn't like the other colors" You narrowed your eyes at him "Also, she's Paula"

"Helena sounds better" You defend

"I like Paula"

"Pablo, I won't put my baby girl your name in femenine!" He laughed hard at that

"I'm just kidding!" He closed his laptop "Helena's beautiful and it has a beautiful meaning" You smiled seeing him sit on the bed, back against the headboard as he grabbed you by the waist and kissed your 34 weeks tummy. Your shining light.

You gasped feeling her kick, you could never get used to it, it was something amazing and her unique way of letting you know she was also there, that she was good, uncomfortable with any x given position, in the convo and in your lifes too.

Even though she hereditated her dad's hard kick and sometimes hurted you a bit, you loved it.

You moved Pablo's hand towards where she was making herself known watching him smile

"You like Helena, little princess?" He asked speaking softly into your tummy leaving some kisses there with a smile on, seconds later, she kicked as you both smiled at each other widely "Helena is it, then"

Two nights after that, you had a bit of trouble while sleeping, she was moving around a lot and no matter what position you got into, it wasn't enough for her

"C'mon, Lena" You whispered "Mommy's tired" You carressed your lower tummy careful of not disrupting Pablo's sleep but failing.

"Something's wrong?" You heard your husband whisper, voice hoarse still filled with sleep "Can I help you in anything?" You hissed stopping your movements, Pablo instantly woke up "C'mon, mi vida. Let's get you up" Pablo stood up inmediately grabbing your hands and pulling you up

"She's being difficult tonight" You managed to say in between breaths. You were feeling an inmense amount of pain in your lower tummy and lower back too.

You took a deep breath feeling the pain knock it out of your lungs, you tried to calm down and take those deep breaths in and slow breaths out just like your mom and Belén had told you to.

"Amor?" You heard Pablo's voice at distance even though he was centimeters away from you, then you felt it.

You felt water run down your thighs and more pain came in

"Did you just-?" You nod humming cutting him off, your hands gripping his tightly "Joder, me cago en la-"

"Pablo" You said warningly taking deep breaths

"What should I do?" He asked you as you gave him a look still trying to breathe properly "Ok, ok! Don't worry, wait here, I'm gonna search for the keys" You nod humming one more time, not really taking in his words you were just keen on making the pain go away.

He left running as you stabilized yourself in your beside table

"Amor, c'mon, let's go" He came back pulling a hoodie of his over your almost naked frame

That's the little story of how you ended up in the hospital two hours later at 5.30am

"It hurts" You cracked out a bit before letting out air

"I know, mi vida, I know; I'm sorry" He kissed your hairline softly "Wish I could take your pain away" He was sat next to your bed, holding his hand tightly in yours "She'll be here soon" You smiled a bit

"She will" You closed your eyes a bit hissing as another contraction hit you "Our parents?" You tried to take your mind away from the pain

"Mine are on their way here along with Au and Javi, yours the car didn't start, they are waiting for you brother to pick them up" You nod "I already called the guys, Pedri and Baldé are here, they're on the waiting room"

"That really sweet of them" You smiled lightly

"Yes it is. Would you like to see them?"

"Later" You took a deep breath already feeling tired "Not a fan of people looking at me while I'm looking awful"

"You're not looking awful at all" Pablo said shaking his head inmediately "You're looking extremely beautiful, more than you always do. You're about to give birth to our babygirl, bring a new life. You're absolutely gorgeous and I love you so much" You smiled feeling another contraction "Feeling okay?" You nod

You spent seven hours more like that, by the time it was due for Helena to come into the world, everyone was inside the room. The guys, your girl friends and families.

"Señora Páez" The doctor came inside with a smile "Ready to bring your little one into this world?" You nod excited as everyone left the room

"Want you here" You whispered to Pablo

"I wasn't going to leave you, mi vida" He kissed your forehead grabbing your hand tightly

"What if I can't do it?" You asked being afraid watching the nurses and the doctor get everything and preparing themselves

"Don't say that. You can and you will do this. You are the strongest woman I've ever met in my whole life, you can do absolutely everything. I love you" He kissed you softly on the lips "You're about to bring the most beautiful thing ever into our lives, mi amor. I trust you, I know you can do this, preciosa"

"Ready?" The doctor asked

"Pablo"

"Get ready, mi amor. I'm here with you. Let's become parents"

When you heard those words come out from his mouth, you pushed, pushed and pushed with your everything. You were going to be a mom, you have waited for this moment ever since you found out of your pregnancy, you wanted to hold you baby in your arms.

And you finally collapsed after hearing the doctor's yell of joy, Pablo's arms catching you and soon you heard her screams and you smiled happily

"Here she is!"

"Preciosa?"

"I'm alright" You breathed out with a smile on "I'm alright" You smiled at Pablo, he smiled back at you and kissed your lips

"Dad, wanna cut the umbilical cord?" Pablo nodded excited hand already out to grab the scissors from the nurse's hand.

Pablo was shaking, he was feeling happier than ever and the excitement he was already a dad was settling in

"Momma, here's your babygirl" One of the nurses passed her to you, she was crying but as soon as you got her into your chest she stopped

"Lena, mi amor" You said softly, one of your fingers going to her little hand, as she gripped it tightly "Mi niña hermosa, we're mommy and daddy" Your voice cracked a bit.

You felt arms around you and saw Pablo hugging you both while crying lightly

"Joder, que es preciosa" Pablo let out and Helena wriggled a little, he put his arm underneath yours and she relaxed again, it was beautiufl how she seemed to understand, sense the voices and touches you had given her through your belly eight months back. Soon Pablo's hand gripped both of yours "Hija mía, we're extremely happy to finally have you here with us" You smiled "You're so loved already and we're going to take so much care of you for the rest of your life" He spoke his voice cracking too, he couldn't stop watching her and neither could you "Mommy and daddy love you so much"

She was gorgeous. She was perfect already.

"Thank you so much, mi vida" He finally looked at you "I can't ever thank you enough for this. You've made me a dad and I'm truly and forever grateful for it. Te amo, mi reina"

"Y yo a ti" You whispered kissing his lips. You gestured him to hold her too and he smiled grabbing her "I think she'll look like you"

"I don't think so. She's too beautiful to have my beauty genes" You laughed lightly

"You're extremely handsome, Pablo"

"But you have the good looks in our relationship" He said looking at you smiling, you blushed as he laughed lightly "I can still make your momma blush, Lena. I haven't lost my touch and I better never do" You shook your head

"You know you won't" He winked ready to keep joking until your moment was cut by the nurse who asked him for Helena to check her out and all.

"We're parents" Pablo said as soon as the nurse left with your daughter. You smiled at him and nodded

"We are" You kissed him and broke the kiss thanks to your yawn, making Pablo laugh

"Are my kisses that boring?"

"Oh shut up" You laughed

"Go to sleep for a bit, mi amor. I'll take care of Helena for now" You smiled

"You need to sleep too, you know?"

"I didn't just pushed a human out of me, you know?" You laughed "Go to sleep. I'll be fine with her and if something happens or if she needs you, I'll call you" You nodded "Te amo"

"Y yo a ti" You said closing your eyes

When you woke up, you woke up by some shushing and a few laughs

"Hijos de su madre, que se callen" You heard your husband say "Y/N is asleep and so is Helena"

"Already in dad mode?"

"I swear to God, I will kick you guys out of the room if you don't stay quiet"

"You'll have to kick yourself too" You replied watching Pablo instantly wip his face towards you, you smiled watching the pink blanket on his arms "you're also being loud"

"Sorry mi amor" He inmediately apologized going over to you to kiss you "How are you feeling?"

"Sore and tired" You laughed lightly watching your babygirl sleep in her dad's chest. You made a bit of space in the bed for him and your baby to sit, which he glady took

"Wanna eat?" You nod kind of forgetting about the bunch of people that were in the room

"Hi everyone" You said softly earning a few giggles

"How are you, my dear?" Your mom asked you as you nod lighty

"Never been this good" You smiled

"Congratulations, momma" Pedri said smiling as you smiled back at him

"Thank you, godfather" He blushed coming over to hug you.

Soon you saw the whole team, your close friends and your family fill the room with balloons, teddy bears and some chocolate for you, you smiled widely

"Thank you everyone for being here" You said

"Thank you for giving us the prettiest daughter, grandaughter, niece, friend and babygirl ever" Baldé said winning a few 'aw's' from the guys. You laughed

"She definitely got your beauty"

"Stop with that" You smiled

"Hopefully she got your brains and personality too" Pablo himself said making you laugh, the guys started to talk about something but you shut them off.

You were watching your husband be with your baby girl when she started crying

"Might be hungry" You smiled at Aurora, Pablo passed you Helena as you accommodated her, the guys excused themselves to let you have that first mom-daughter communication but Pablo, both of your moms and Aurora who stayed

"Thank you" Aurora said "For making me an aunt, for giving me the most beautiful niece ever, I wish the two of you as a relation all the greatest things and happiness in the world, and to your little but gorgeous family the same thing" She kissed her brother's and yours temple before coming out of the room

"That might hurt a bit" Belén said making you smile ", but it's the worlds most precious feeling"

"I agree" Your mom said smiling, the two older woman helped you and instructed you om how to breastfeed for the first time before leaving the room, not before both of them thanking you too.

"You can sleep too, you know?" You said to Pablo after a few minutes, he was mesmerized watching the two woman of his life, he shook his head

"Don't really want to" He whispered

"But you have to" You smiled "I'll wake you up if I need anything. It's your time to rest, amor" He smiled giving in after three kisses. He jumped out of your bed towards one that the hospital had put for him.

And with a hand on your thigh he fell asleep. You smiled once more watching the two loves of your lives.

Helena is such a lucky baby, having the most beautiful family by blood and by choice ever. You knew that she would always be taken care of, if you and Pablo couldn't, she was going to be extremely spoiled by them too and she will grow up with so much love, respect and care in every aspect of the words. But you were also lucky to have Pablo in your life and also the guys.

"Lena" You called her softly "You and mommy are extremely lucky" Your eyes shiftened to Pablo "I've got the world's most perfect husband and you've got the world's most perfect dad. That's the man of our lives" You smiled at her as her hand was placed on your chest lightly "I'm sure he'll do anything to see both of us happy, but I'm also sure we only need him to be like that. Am I right?" She gripped your hand and kicked her feet making you laugh, you took it as an agreement of your statement "That's right, my little ray of sunshine"

Helena was in your lives since only five hours ago, but you already loved your little and perfect family of three.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @elijahslover @stuckinaf4nfiction

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gemsofgreece · 6 months

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Do you have any reliable sources about beauty in Ancient Greece that you can recommend? Something that would help a person draw mythological characters with more credibility?

For example, something that would help someone draw a character described as beautiful or very beautiful (Helena, Achilles, Penelope, Aphrodite, etc.) and actually look like they would be seen as beautiful or very beautiful in the context of the work. Or even clothes and accessories! The popular idea of Greek clothing is kind of generic (you know, that idea of "just put on soft-looking white fabrics, put a laurel wreath on their head and they'll look Greek enough" and even women, even high-class ones, having rather simple hairstyles.)

I don't intend to post, it's more for practice. So if the source you know is very dense, it's okay because, as it is an exercise, the study part is important. In case you respond, I would like to thank you in advance for giving me some of your time.

Do I count as a reliable source? XD It's just that all the knowledge I have about this comes from snippets of information throughout my life and not so much a targeted study, the sources of which I would have kept.

I would argue however that most of the information you can find on the Internet (apart from ones manipulated by political motives, both western appropriation of the Greek culture AND wokism) is fairly reliable, because thankfully it is based on the very scripts and statues of the Ancient Greeks, so it's hard to go that wrong. Those are the legit sources.

For example, Homer uses two epithets to characterize Greeks again and again; καλλικνήμιδες and ευπλόκαμοι. The former means "with beautiful legs" and the latter means "with beautiful long hair". Both were apparently beautiful features Greeks took pride in. The leg one is particularly used for warriors, which means they had toned, long, lean and strong legs. The hair is used for both sexes, as both sexes had very long hair until the classical period, often worn in many braids. In general, up to the Archaic period, the beauty standards weren't dissimilar to the ones of Minoan and Mycenaean times. The long hair Greek men had before the classical era (and beyond it for some Greeks, such as the Spartans) is rarely seen in modern representations. I don't know if it was the beauty standard or the universal truth but Ancient Greek depicted themselves almost always with wavy or curly hair, almost never straight or curly with very tight rings.

The skintone difference between men and women was also a totally legit beauty standard - handsome men were tanned, which was a sign they were roasting under the sun doing tough, manly things, warring, sailing, farming etc Beautiful women are constantly called λευκώλενος which means "with white arms, hands". Women showed their noble demeanour or descent by staying at home being dutiful wives, avoiding the harshness of the sun, dust and dirt. Being fair was the beauty standard for women. This differentiation between men and women was ongoing from Minoan up to Classical times, and most likely beyond this as well.

Beautiful women are also described to have doe eyes or cattle eyes, meaning expressive and elongated almond eyes. Having quick-glancing, clever, shining eyes ("ελικώπις") was very valued too. Goddesses such as Athena are often called "γλαυκώπις" which means "bright, white eyed". Of course it doesn't literally mean "white", unless Athena was indeed imagined like that, but with bright, light eyes. Other than that, the eyecolour is not often mentioned. The majority obviously had brown and hazel eyes, however there were blue and green eyes, there is scant art about it. But it isn't clear what the beauty standard for eyecolour was - what interested the Greeks more was the shape, size and expression of the eye. They were charmed by spirited eyes. "The eye is the window to the soul" type of thing.

Being blonde was considered a sign of noble or even divine descent, therefore it was considered very beautiful and not very common. There are sources that Greek women in later antiquity died their hair with some dyes to make them appear a little lighter. So a beautiful Greek man or woman could be blonde, but not Scandinavian or grey blonde, more like dirty blonde, gold blonde, strawberry blonde.

Throughout all sources in existence, Greeks were very interested in the health and good physique. A handsome man had to be lean, strong and toned. I mean, there are countless six pack ancient statues at a time it was crazy hard to achieve this. Greeks weren't fond of the bear type of strong though, all male bodies in sculptures look lean, even the heracleian (herculian) ones which are sturdier are still lean compared to the modern very muscular or the bear type. Greeks also found proportions and symmetry very important.

On the other hand, according to statues of the Classical period and onwards a beautiful woman should have some fat on her, be juicy and soft, especially in the belly and the hips, signs of fertility. Nice arms were meaty and soft and nice breasts were perky and round. Legs were comparatively leaner and long, since as I said Greeks took pride in that. A beautiful woman could either be a little plump or toned, depending on the region again.

Based on the statues, ideal facial traits was a straight (not curvy), proportionate nose and medium or full curvy lips.

From the classical period onward it all became about the beard for men, in place of their earlier fascination with beautiful hair. A handsome mature man kept his hair neatly cut and had a strong, thick beard, not very long. Before a young man could grow a decent beard, the beauty standards for him were more feminine, with a boyish softer youthful charm (still ripped af though XD). Cheeks in young men and women are round, however the chin is usually well defined.

As for fashion. Fashion was indeed modest and somewhat plain after the archaic times, it is not a stereotype. What you could play with to make the outfit fancier is the accessories, jewellery, belts, pins etc. If you want something more special, draw early Archaic or Mycenean or Minoan women, whose clothing was very interesting and vibrant, with a lot of geometric cuts and bold colours.

Good make-up involved an emphasis in making the face appear whiter (chalk and lead hazard), charchoal for eye-liner and thickening of the eyebrows and red iron oxide for the lips.

Yes, please, skip on the excessive laurel wreath usage, not that it wasn't a thing but we can have enough of it.

Late Archaic kouros. Note the sixpack, the tall toned legs, the long braided hair.

Different skintone standards between men and women. Helen wears some fancy outfit here as well.

Large expressive almond eyes in a Minoan woman. Also the make-up. Minoans are pre-Greeks, but they had similar beauty standards and fashion sense with the Mycenaeans and then they mixed with them anyway.

Idea for elaborate Late Myceanean - Early Archaic fashion. Souce here, you're gonna like it.

The Caryatids in Amphipolis are IMO some of the prettiest female statues in Ancient Greek art. This is a relatively recent discovery and the monument has not yet opened to visitors.

Medici Aphrodite (Venus de Medici), Hellenistic era. Aphrodite was juicy.

You might as well reach fifty, the sixpack and v-line are ALWAYS there. Beauty wise, men might have actually had it harder than women in Ancient Greece XD

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Ancient Greek jewellery with dates for reference.

The statue of Antinous in Delphi is a statue we definitely do not talk enough about. Even though the body is toned and the muscles are defined, a beautiful young man is portayed with cheeks and softer angles in the face.

This is what I know, I think it's a pretty safe summary, however any followers with specific sources can add them in the comments. Hopefully all this will help you out with your practice!

#greece #ancient greece #beauty standards #ancient greek art #beauty in ancient greece #ancient greek statues #ancient greek #greek culture #historical fashion #anon #ask #long post #tw long post #tw long #traditional clothing

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teawaffles · 9 months

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yuumori: the remains ch5

Now on: Cubari / Mangadex

Thank you for waiting! Somehow we're right on schedule this month (๑˃ᴗ˂) Also, Volume 1 of The Remains will be released with the next chapter on 4 Aug, and the next chapter will have a colour spread too 💕

Spoiler-y footnotes for this chapter under the cut:

Callbacks to the light novels

On Page 1 of this chapter, Louis mentions some tales in passing. In order of appearance, these are: Book 1 Story 2 (Louis and the Aquaria), Book 1 Story 3 (Albert’s Drinking Contest), and Book 2 Story 2 (There’s No Business Like Show Business).

Callback to Ch71

William’s handshake with Helena Curtis mirrors the same scene with the other Helena in New York, in Ch71 of the main manga.

The Girl Who Sees Rainbows…?

The official English title given for this story is “The Girl Gazing at the Rainbow”. This is due to the use of 視る rather than 見る in the Japanese title — while both words mean “to see”, the former kanji is used to emphasise “looking intently”, and hence “gazing”.

While I will be using the official English title in this arc's chapters, I still stand by my original version of it (“The Girl Who Sees Rainbows”) in the light novel translation, as I think it sounds more natural and succinct in English. 😅

Where might The Remains be going next?

My sensing is that subsequent chapters will adapt the rest of the third light novel, since [spoilers!!] the three stories within it are all connected 😆 That would mean the rest of the cast will be getting some time to shine too (including the 221B gang!) ☺️

Really hope they’ll adapt Forbidden Games (Book 2 Story 1) in between those chapters — maybe as a side story/minor digression from the plot? It would be such a missed opportunity if it doesn’t turn up in The Remains ( ; ω ; )

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #yuumori #scanlation #updates

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lola-jo · 9 months

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Magha Nakshatra Female Appearance

Born to be a star.

Magha Chandra (Moon) Beauty (Type 1)

Rene Russo, Julia Roberts, Venus Williams, Aaliyah, Gloria Vanderbilt, Wanda Jackson, Jazmine Sullivan, Claudia Jordan, Ana Beatriz Barroz. These type 1 beauties: - Have a lioness beauty (look powerful but very feline and feminine). - Have a longer face, powerful gaze, smooth pointed nose with thick lips. - Look spiritually rich & abundant, which radiates out. - Have a natural air of prestige. - Have a rich luxurious quality about them (natural shine). - Look like they come from royalty. - Are the centre stage. - Give meaning to the word celebrity. - Can embody a character.

Magha Chandra (Moon) Beauty (Type 2)

Morgan Fairchild, Ashley & Mary-Kate Olsen, Bebe Rexha, Amanda Seyfried, Guilietta Masina, Anny Ondra, Helena Bonham Carter, Ami Suzuki, Krysten Ritter. These type 2 beauties: - Look like they came out of a Tim Burton movie. - Are theatrical. - Have oneiric essence. - Look like period/victorian era dolls (huge doll eyes, roundish face contrasted by smaller nose and lips). - Can pull off a dark or light coquette aesthetic. - Would look amazing in Corpse Bride core. - Produce art from the soul. - Have that Kat Dennings humour (honourable mention to her as a Magha moon native). - Have a magical quality about them. - Can produce magic on and off screen.

Magha Chandra (Moon) Beauty (Type 3)

Jodie Foster, Kate Bosworth, Olivia Hussey, Dolly Parton, Haley Williams, Vivienne Westwood, Patti Guesch, Phyllis Fraser, Ayaka Hirahara. These type 3 beauties: - Have a fragile but agile cat quality to them. - Have cat like features (sharp rounded eyes on a delicate but sharp bone structure). - Have a transformative beauty (many colours, patterns, cuts, styles would suit them naturally). - Understand transformation (are transformers). - Have a natural allure. - Are the best at adopting an image. - Are the best at their crafts. - Are cool, calm and collected but feisty when they need to be. - Admired by many. - Can take on the world alone. Magha Lagna (Ascendant) Beauty will be up next xxx

#magha nakshatra #vedic astrology #sidereal astrology #nakshatras #leo #ketu #astrology #beauty #moon #ascendant #essence

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jbuffyangel · 3 months

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So Many Girlfriends: Arrow 1x17 Review (The Huntress Returns)

We were a little light on Oliver and Felicity content last episode, but “The Huntress Returns” makes up for it. A good deal of the episode is focused on how Oliver feels about Helena and McKenna, but ultimately shines a bright spotlight on how he feels about Felicity.

Let’s dig in...

Olicity, Helena and McKenna

Will Oliver Queen’s real girlfriend please stand up?

Just kidding. I think too much is made of how many women Oliver dated in Season 1. Technically it was only two… well three but we’ll talk about the third later in the season. This is not an exorbitant about of dating for a single man. That said, we’re juggling three out of the four in “The Huntress Returns” so things feel a bit crowded.

This episode primarily focuses on how Oliver feels about Helena. She’s back after discovering her father cut a deal and will be placed in witness protection for offering evidence against the east coast families. Helena will not allow her father to have any kind of life because for her there is no life after Danny.

Helena can’t go up against the Starling City Police Department alone and wants Oliver to help kill her father. We get sucked into another “revenge versus justice” argument between the two of them and honestly I am trying hang with my boy here. Oliver believes what he is doing is justice and not revenge, but he is splitting the thinnest of moral hairs.

I’ve done the mental gymnastics to follow his point in previous reviews, and I won’t repeat myself too much, but every time they argue about this I find myself agreeing with Helena. Oliver is dangerously close to the hypocrite line, but ok sir. You only kill when necessary (although I don’t remember every person crossed off the list being killed in self defense) and only when it serves justice (but Oliver has anointed himself judge, jury and executioner so it’s HIS kind of justice – that doesn’t actually make it justice.)

Moving on. Helen extorts Oliver into participating by threatening Tommy.

First, Tommy finds out Oliver is a superhero and then he gets beat up by a girl. This has been an emasculating couple weeks.

It’s Diggle that asks the all important and completely obvious question.

Diggle: Oliver if you didn’t still have feelings for this girl you would have thought of a different solution than letting her extort you into killing someone.

Oliver: What do you want me to do? You want me to kill her?

Diggle: I think you would have a long time ago if she looked more like me than the T-Mobile girl.

Diggle is never wrong. Exhibit A: the T-Mobile Girl

Normally John advises Oliver to stay his hand, but he’s worried Helena will drop a dime on both of them. A concern Oliver shares, which is why he hasn’t handed her over to the police.

Oliver does finally admit to his FEELINGS. He’s still holding on to whatever idea of Helena he has in his head. He believes this idealized version is the true version. This is a mistake Oliver makes a lot with women – Moira, Thea, and L*urel. Each of them have faults, some more glaring than others, but he stubbornly ignores them and believes in the Snow White version instead. It’s patronizing and keeps Oliver from seeing the women he loves as human beings – with imperfections just like him.

Oliver keeps telling Helena, “This isn’t you,” when it very clearly is her. Oliver’s hero complex means he believes everyone can be saved, but when a person refuses to change and chooses the darker road again and again, then you must believe them. Saving someone is an illusion. No one can be saved unless they want to be saved. We must all make that choice for ourselves. We must choose our salvation.

Helena’s return shines a glaring spotlight on how little we know about McKenna after several episodes. Oliver and McKenna haven’t progressed much past a few dates and some lukewarm kisses.

Arrow ramps up the heat with a love scene, but it feels very perfunctory - like they must have sex to count as a relationship. Something to check off the list before McKenna is shipped off to The Land of Forgotten Characters.

This is exactly what happens when McKenna gets caught between Oliver and Helena's show down. Helena shoots McKenna, which fractures her femur. She is moving to Ocean City to live with her sister and rehab for a year.

Oliver makes a valiant offer to visit and do the long distance thing. He cares for McKenna, but I couldn’t help but feel this offer came from a hefty dose of guilty. Of course, Oliver is going to blame McKenna’s injury on himself. He even says he’s responsible for her – not that he loves her. McKenna can see that Oliver’s feelings are not long distance level and she dumps him.

And every heartbreak was a yellow brick road Pointing me straight, just taking me home I was never lost I was just passing through I was on my way to you

"On My Way" by Jennifer Lopez

Arrow does not let these failed relationships go to waste. They are pointing us to Oliver’s real destination point. “Return of The Huntress” has a couple of dialogue gems that Olicity vidders have used again and again. More often than not, the writers are not talking about the relationship Oliver is currently in. They are talking about the relationship he is headed towards.

McKenna: The first thing you do is you find yourself someone you never have to apologize to.

It’s interesting that McKenna says this to Oliver right before they make love, but by the end of the episode he is wracked with guilt over her. He actually has to steel himself before going into McKenna’s hospital room because he cannot show what he’s truly feeling. The offer to come to Coast City is one big apology.

This is Arrow’s version of “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” which personally I think is a load of crap.

If you love someone and you hurt them then acknowledging their pain and apologizing for it is a very important part of forgiveness. You do not get a successful relationship without forgiveness.

I think the sentiment Arrow is trying to communicate is that Oliver needs to find someone who understands who he is and all the various pressures in his life. Someone he doesn’t have to lie to (McKenna/L*urel), but won’t ask him to murder people (Helena). The only woman in Oliver’s life that fits in these categories is Felicity.

As I said before, this show has the subtly of a jackhammer. Felicity calls as Oliver and McKenna fall into bed together. The camera panning to Felicity’s face on Oliver’s phone while he is having sex with another woman is not accidental. They are very clearly saying which woman Oliver SHOULD be having sex with.

Oliver leaves McKenna’s bed the minute he finds out Helena has attacked Felicity. This is in my Top Ten if not Top 5 of Oliver rescuing Felicity scenes.

Source: https://gifyu.com/paigeota

Helena forced Felicity to hack the FBI database for her father’s safe house location.

Oliver arrives in a panic and calls out for Felicity. He finds her bound and on the floor. It is not often we see the Hood’s feathers ruffled, but they certainly are in this scene.

Oliver’s voice drops to that soft tone with an “I’m here” and “Hey” as he gently touches Felicity’s face to reassure himself she is okay.

There are limited circumstances where Oliver allows himself to touch Felicity. He sticks to shoulders for a looooong time, but allows himself something more intimate when Felicity is in danger.

Source: https://gifyu.com/paigeota

The real tell here is Oliver’s RAGE. He goes absolutely feral when he hears someone entering the office and almost throws a knife at Diggle.

Source: https://gifyu.com/paigeota

Helena has killed innocent people to get to her father. She knows Oliver’s secret which makes her a dangerous threat to Team Arrow. She subtly threatened Oliver’s family by showing up at the mansion and directly threatened Tommy by almost ripping his arm from the socket. NONE of these actions convince Oliver to kill Helena – until she threatens Felicity. Oliver’s carefully crafted façade which hides the anger simmering underneath is tossed aside immediately. He wants to rip Helena in half with his bare hands.

Source: https://gifyu.com/paigeota

It’s starting to add up this episode! Helena has been searching for the right pressure point and boy did she find it. Felicity is not just comedic relief. She is not just Oliver’s Girl Friday. The writers are clearly writing their interactions with romantic undertones and this episode shines a very bright light on where Felicity ranks in Oliver’s life, how much he cares for her, and what he’s willing to do to protect her. Ok sure, Oliver has a lot of “girlfriends,” but there’s only one who truly matters.

Prepare yourselves. I don’t disagree with this statement.

Source: https://gifyu.com/paigeota

Happy is not Oliver’s goal right now and I don’t believe he’s anywhere near the vicinity of happiness. If Oliver somehow achieved whatever his current definition of happiness is (which is also in flux) he wouldn’t know what to do with it. Not unlike a dog chasing a car.

Oliver is trapped in a self fulling prophecy attempting a normal life while living his vigilante life. He laments that marrying the two is impossible because it continually blows up in his face when he tries to merge his love life with his crime fighting.

He couldn’t be honest with McKenna because she’d arrest him. Oliver was honest with Helena, but she desperately needs to be arrested (and requires a good dose of therapy). Whenever the puzzle pieces don’t fit, Oliver throws his hands up in exasperation and says, “SEE? I CAN NEVER BE HAPPY!”

There is a problem with his math. As Diggle said, it’s about finding the right person. McKenna, Helena, *cough*L*urel*cough* are not the right person, so of course it doesn’t work out. Oliver never really addresses the massive issues with each of these women on an individual level. He sort of just chucks them all into the same love is impossible category.

We know the answer. Hell, I think even Diggle knows the answer at this point. It’s a 5 foot 5 inch blonde ponytail swishing Oliver right in the face. Felicity knows the truth. Not only does she NOT want him arrested, she has joined his criminal enterprise. She is wildly intelligent, beautiful, empathetic, witty and just the right amount of sass and toughness to keep a pain in the ass like Oliver Queen in line. This is the girl you bring home to meet your mother, Oliver.

Just hold her hand my dude!!

Source: https://gifyu.com/paigeota

But Oliver refuses to allow himself to look at Felicity in that capacity for now, which brings us to the second issue with his math. Oliver doesn’t feel he can be happy. He doesn’t believe he’s worthy of love. He might be chasing after it, feigning some attempt at a normal life, but these relationships blowing up in his face is not completely unwelcomed.

There’s a sense of relief sinking back into the darkness of the bunker. He tried, it failed, and now Oliver can wash his hands of the whole “happiness” thing, which is fine because he doesn’t deserve it anyway.

So, no I don’t believe Oliver’s priority should be happiness right now. He’s nowhere near ready for that. Oliver needs to do an enormous amount of work mentally and emotionally before he is even in the realm of readiness for Felicity Smoak. What he needs desperately right now is a friend who understands him. Of course, Felicity will be the friend Oliver needs because he will never find a life with Felicity without her help.

But bring on all the shoulder touches in the meantime!

L*urel and Tommy

Source: https://gifyu.com/paigeota

Soooo Tommy is having some issues with Oliver’s identity. I always giggle inappropriately when Oliver is so offended by Tommy calling him a murderer. He looks like he wants to say, “Am not! It doesn’t count if they were bad people!”

Tommy is not interested in a morality debate with Oliver because he doesn’t trust him anymore - a consequence from all the lying. We’re already on Team Oliver. We know his reasons for doing this. We watched Robert Queen kill himself. We understand our vigilante’s pain, so it’s natural to get a little defensive of him when Tommy is this unforgiving.

But Tommy has a right to his anger. Oliver has lied. A LOT. He is a killer. This is a disquieting revelation about the kid you grew up playing t-ball with. Not everyone is as cool with murder as Diggle and Felicity. (Tommy does soften on Oliver a little by the end of the episode.)

It’s not all moral high ground either. Tommy doesn’t say it, but Oliver being the sexy and dangerous vigilante L*urel is obsessed with is not scoring him any best friend points.

Tommy is going through all the feelings this week, which means he’s not the most attentive boyfriend and doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth for the latest Lance drama. L*urel’s mother, the OG Dinah, is in town because she believes Sara is alive. Dun dun duuuunnnn!!

SPOILERS!!!!!!

This storyline just annoys the crap out of me. I hate that they introduce this in Season 1. I don’t know if it’s meant to be a red herring, dangle a hook or just to drive us crazy, but it lessens the emotional impact of Season 2.

The first thing Oliver did when he came back was state definitively that Sara was dead. Dinah's picture of someone who looks like Sara is pretty flimsy evidence to contradict the man who watched her die. It feels like the writers are trying to give L*urel and Detective Lance something to do and bring all the divorce drama with Dinah into the fold. Eh. Keep it.

What annoys me even further is L*urel immediately jumps up Tommy’s ass for being distracted and not fully invested in the dead-sister-is-possibly-but-probably-not-alive drama. Good grief woman. Can the guy have an off week? Calm down.

I’m 50/50 on whether Tommy really wants to tell L*urel that Oliver is the vigilante. Yes, he wants to tell her because that tea is PIPING HOT and he has to be dying to tell SOMEONE. No, he doesn’t want to tell her because of the previously mentioned sexy leather pants problem. It’s really a toss up at this point.

The problem is Tommy is actually a really decent dude who is terrible at lying and L*urel knows he’s keeping something from her. Thanks a lot Ollie. She throws a hissy about Tommy being “a million miles away” and storms off. The seeds of distrust and disappointment are sewn and we shall wait for the impending jealousy implosion to come.

Stray Thoughts

Oliver and Slade are negotiating a flight off the island. Wake me if it’s not a foregone conclusion this plan fails. The dude was stuck there for five years.

Thea wants to get Roy a job. Nothing says love like gainful employment.

Is date number six significant? What happens on date six? I am old and have not dated for awhile.

Oliver ordering Felicity out of the room was HOT. He doesn’t want her within fifty feet of Helena. I like it when he’s growly and bossy. Source: https://gifyu.com/paigeota

Roy gets stabbed saving Thea. She kisses him because he’s scared of needles. First kiss cute factor is off the charts.

“Why can’t you just admit that you still have feelings for me too?” Does anyone else feel like Oliver had sex with McKenna to prove he doesn’t have feelings for Helena? It felt oddly timed.

Listen to the Watchover podcast reaction to 1x17!!!

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me.

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kalolasfantasyworld · 2 months

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Paper Hearts and how it came to be

Hi everyone this a post nobody asked for, but I really wanted to make. I admit that I was inspired to make this after reading the afterword of the Embers of Sun and Flame by @thoughtfullyrainynightmare.

Paper Hearts spoilers - not plot specific, but overall concepts. I wanted to reveal a bit of how it actually happened that I came up with it and I can tell you it was a journey.

3 main points below and then I will expand:

Noelle and Nozel are my favorite characters, while Noelle finds herself and becomes happy. Nozel... we don't really know much about, but we know that he's been not great.

SILVA REDEMPTION - it was supposed to be a redemption story since the beginning. I wanted to give all the Silvas a more "human" outlook. A chance to make mistakes and change for the better. A chance to become a family.

The story did not start with Helena. She was "created" for the Silvas, to help them grow and learn. I couldn't do this with an already existing character without changing canon. Helena sees the whole BC (literally 5-170 episodes, plus a bit of manga until the Spade Raid) story from her perspective, a new perspective and gives an outlook on what the Silvas did then. However she developed as a whole well rounded character with her strengths, quirks and flaws. 💕

Nozel x OC

Nozel was in the dark for a long time. A cave filled with perfectionism, guilt, self loathing and unhealthy ambition. A very cold place. (a tiny reference to Allegory of the Cave by Plato, obviously this is a slightly different case)

I know he would not so easily get out of his cave towards the light

He needed to be "forcefully pulled out of it" and that's where a nosy, cheerful, talkative, very stubborn and at times annoying OC comes in

She helps him see the light in the outside world, by teaching him how to simply have fun, but also notice the good inside himself.

She pulls him out to that "shining light" and that's how her name came to be -> Helena meaning sun ray, torch, shining light

Nozel is by no means weak in this story, on the contrary I want to show him as a strong character who found some ways to cope with his past even though they were certainly not the best ones. However he is able to grow and learn (such as admitting, that he was wrong, or being vulnerable with time).

Silva redemption

We've seen moments, literal snippets of Nebra and Solid acting not like the last pieces of trash (when Nebra checks up on Solid, when he's hurt, Nebra realising that she is an obstacle after she's hurt, or when Solid tells Noelle to go to the shadow palace, little more besides that) and I think that to each other they were never that awful. I wanted to expand on that.

So let's introduce Helena, but hey they will treat her awful if she's below them in social hierarchy -> let's make her a princess with a lot of mana

A princess? which house? She's supposed to have a "fresh view" -> she has to be a foreginer

Foreigner?! Are you kidding?! they will eat her alive (I mean they did xd) -> There has to be some familiarity and how better to achieve that then through Acier, thus Luciana (Helena's mom) and Acier were best friends and Helena is actually half clover half diamond

She has to warm up the atmosphere -> once again the little light. Helena becomes friends with Nebra (Nebra learns how to treat a friend well), and she cares for Solid like a little brother (somebody will bite back and he will learn respect), Nozel... you know the story and with Noelle you will see how it goes.

However there will be more to their growth then just Helena and sometimes she will simply witness the changes

They are assholes to lower class people -> Helena is not, but why? even though she is a princess -> backstory time ;)

Nozel, Nebra and Solid are STILL very much ASSHOLES in Paper Hearts!!! I just give them an additional face and a chance to grow over time, to be more than that.

Character growth

people make mistakes, and these characters will make them in Paper Hearts, but they will learn and grow because of them

This story will be long, because it will not rush through changes. They happen over time and a year and a half is a lot. I want these to be natural.

Helena

her character was explained a bit earlier, she has to counter the cold of the Silvas and be full of life

She comes from a big, warm family so she can show the Silvas how does a healthy family life look like

She has FLAWS, quite a few actually, because people are not perfect and that's what makes them special and beautiful. She's supposed to be relatable.

Helena is not traumatised, depressed or broken. She has her past and it affected her, but she's learnt a lesson instead of letting it control her.

Another reason for why she is a princess -> I've always had a hard time picturing Nozel being long term with someone outside of nobility. Not because of arrogance, but simply responsibilities. Helena knows how to take care of a house, knows Royal customs and will be a good lady of the house, someone Nozel can lean on in his duties, who understands how important it is to carry the name. So they have some similar values and backgrounds helping them understand one another. Especially at the beginning of the story, when he would simply not talk to anyone below his status and that's when Helena was introduced. (also based on the assorted questions brigade that's his type)

Helena's hispanic -> I simply love hispanic characters, spanglish is a fun addition to the story (my friend pointed out to me, that I may have been subconsciously inspired by Lance from Voltron)

Helena's looks -> I wanted her to have that sun kissed, hispanic look

Her eyes are dark brown, almost black -> I wanted a silver haired baby with super dark eyes 😍 (that's Natalia and literally the only reason for Helena's eye color)

She wears red -> the red blue dynamics, although they kind of flipped, because usually the blue are funny and silly, while the red grumpy, but you know what I mean

There's a four years difference between her and Nozel, I wanted her to be a bit younger so that she would have an easier time connecting with the younger Silvas (there's 1 year between her and Nebra) and overall Helena is filled with that "youthful vigor"

her perspective is new and fresh, she's a foreigner and we learn about Clover with her

Paper magic... that's a lot to unpack especially since you don't know (she doesn't either) how her spells develop yet -> let's say I wanted her to be "weak" at the beginning and paper seems pretty timid and the "blank page" metaphor (song unwritten fits her so well). You have to trust me that Paper Magic was very carefully and deliberately thought through.

Helena has not and never will become a magic knight. She's supposed to be different than Nozel and have her own thing, which is healing. This also is relevant towards her not changing canon, but being able to interact with it.

Why Diamond out of all the suit kingdoms? -> You'll see xd (forever in the future though 🥲), but it came with the development of the story. As I said Paper Hearts started with the Silvas then branched out. However I do have some Diamond Kingdom lore.

CANON

this story is written in a way that it could happen in the show

meaning Helena is watching something but not interacting where the "BC camera rolls"

I need to rewatch quite a bit while writing, but I'm not complaining (okay the festival chapters were hard and there were times when I wrote a scene only to be like "No! This character can't be here!" and I had to delete it 😭 "bye bye funny scene")

I wanted for you to see what the Silvas are doing, while BB are on their adventures

So it can be the reader's favorite game -> I wonder what is Helena doing in this part of the series?

assorted questions brigade is my literal guidebook (Nozel is a lightweight, socks on during sex 😁)

Actually writing

I haven't written anything in YEARS

I've never finished a fic

I was self conscious about my stories and how I wrote characters (terrified that people will say "oh they would not act this way at all!")

writing is still one of the most personal things I have (it lies closer to my heart even than my art)

Miraculously I opened up and told my not BC friend the main plot of Paper hearts story -> she said "it's good write it" -> that same evening I had the first chapter drafted

That's why I explain literally everything in Paper Hearts (you're getting specific descriptions of how each character looks like). I want her to be able to read it without her needing to watch the show. So it's written that non BC people will understand it and people who are just watching won't get spoilers, because I give spoiler warnings.

Those who know BC see the foreshadowing, little hints and easter eggs, so it's just as fun.

Humor

I love humor

I laugh so much while writing this story and I do my best to make it really funny

Helena is hilarious

And the sunshine x grumpy relationships are my favorite

so Helena and Nozel deliver me so much content

Besides there are Finral and Vanessa

Finral and Vanessa

I love them

They are an amazing trio with Helena, so funny too

I wanted to let the readers know what's happening in BC and keep them in a loop where we are with the BC storyline, so they tell Helena about their adventures

Obviously there is much more to them than being a source of information

Platonic relationships

This story will have a lot of them, such as relationships between Helena and each one of the younger Silva siblings, or mentioned above Finral and Vanessa

It is a romance, but also much more

There are quite a few chapters in which Nozel is just not present and they're still fun, but focus on different things

Hard topics

there are and will be some tougher, more angsty chapters and sadder ones as well

BC story has its ups and downs in terms of characters well being. It can't be happy all the time.

Once again PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES

I want them to learn from them

Action

I actually found out writing fight scenes is not awful

so I describe them (wait for the elf reincarnation arc chapters...😁)

Romance

This is obviously a romance, spicy, funny, thoughtful, lovable and at some points relatable, but it also has its downsides

IMPERFECTIONS!!!

Pink tinted glasses

Helena and Nozel don't miraculously fall in love, they learn it and it happens over time, they become "friends before lovers" it's natural.

Yhm sexual tension -> a lot, this story is rated mature for a reason!

Support

building relationships takes time

MISTAKES!!!

misunderstandings

It is soft, touching, but painful at times

There's a song in my first language saying (this is my translation):

Love is no teddy bear, no flowers

It is also not a horned devil

Nor it is love, when one is crying

And other is jumping on them.

Because love is not a film at any cinema.

Neither roses, nor kisses - little, big ones..

But love... is when one is falling down

And the other is pulling them up

that's the Nozelena I'm going for ❤️💙

Song additions (as you can see above😉)

i love music and I love incorporating it in this story

so song guessing like in chapter 21 was so much fun

I even created a full playlist for one of the latter chapters (i listened to it while writing, now it sometimes plays when I drive a car xd)

And there are some songs, which just fit the characters and I will link them

I'm really just goofing around with this, but it makes me so happy

Other ships

i know they're not there yet

but they will be in the right time of BC storyline

Helena is too nosy to not butt into other relationships and not be a matchmaker or something...

I just wanted to give some love to the characters I like and won't really gallop of canon, but they will have some cute scenes (not all the ships I like though, that would be too much, so I chose those fitting the plot, very sadly no Greyche, no MagLuck 😭, maybe mentions of them though)

Canon is the reason why I'm doing mostly "canonic" ships

Other characters that appear

This story ends up being not Helena x Nozel, not Helena x Silvas, but Helena x BC characters overall

it's funny and interesting how they interact

And I want to show some love to other still amazing characters, who just did not find their place in my top of the top, or did not really fit the plot of this fic as mains

Development

writing this story is a process

and I have it plotted out, so everything really does happen for a reason. I'm not changing the plot whatsoever since I came up with it and it was before setting up Ao3 or this tumblr account.

but then there are some little things, which I don't see coming and an additional chapter appears (I'm loosing control over the length of this story)

The "story tells you what it wants" and I follow it, so the chapter details are not set in stone

I also realised I can't write short chapters any more, so it prolongs the story too and sometimes I need to split them in two (for example the festival chapter was supposed to be in 1 mayeeebe 2 -> it's in three, elf reincarnation was supposed to be one -> it's in three)

But I think that what's in there is necessary, interesting and just fun so i won't make this story shorter on purpose, that's not the point

Illustrations

They happened. There's nothing to explain here. I just like to draw. I've read two fics with illustrations and I found them fun. I wasn't planning on illustrating every Paper Hearts chapter, but it may happen.

I'm truly exploring what I can do with my art in those illustrations so they are made in multiple styles, at different points in time and they differ greatly.

The title/s

You will understand why Paper Hearts, when I finally will get to a chapter titled this way

It's obviously connected to Helena's paper magic

Each chapter title matters -> I spend a lot of time on thinking them through and they greatly foreshadow what will happen, a lot of times in metaphorical ways

They are made in a specific style "The ...." -> I just thought it would be fun to stay consistent

Damn, this was a loooong post!

I hope you guys enjoyed this little (not really 😂) explanation and are enjoying my passion project called Paper Hearts.

For those who are reading Paper Hearts I hope you like how it came to be and continue with me on this journey through BC. I'm forever grateful for your support.

For those who haven't read it I strongly recommend it to you. The first few chapters are a bit icky, because I was just learning how to write and setting up the scene, but it's a good story. This statement I've actually never doubted. 💕

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the-hufflepuffle · 8 months

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I've fallen down the pit that is Good Omens 2 and because I'm me I made "ineffable offspring".

Esther

'star'

Created after S1

Named after the queen from the Bible who risked her life for the Jewish people. I feel like Esther would have been one of Crowley and Aziraphale s favorite people that ended up in the Bible.

Very much a sarcastic, loving, older sister vibe despite being an only child

I really like the "snake eyes" theory about Crowley so I think he'd name her after the stars, and she'd be the only one he can see now.

Raised mainly by Crowley who has/had the space for a kid

Likes it when the Bentley is a little bit yellow i.e. the studs on the wheels, or the stitching on the seats

Alexei

'defending men'

Created after S1

Named for what his parents wanted him to do: defend men

More of a serious self sacrificing older brother, and is the "scary dog" in Esther and Helena's "scary dog privileges"

Grew up very similar to a divorce settlement arrangement: one week with Gabriel, next with Beez. Still getting used to being able to live with both of them at the same time

I think Gabriel and Beez would try and raise him as neutrally as possible, because neither wants him in heaven or he'll full time

He loves his younger sister and acts very much like a Neteyam to her Tuk. I don't know how to explain it for people who haven't seen The Way of Water so here's pictures for what I mean. 1 is Neteyam holding Tuk when they are learning about the sea and 2 is neteyam saving Tuk and their brother lo'ak when they get captures.

Helena

'shining light'

Created after S2

Named after disposition that she's always had. I also think that when Gabriel wad Jim he read Fire and Blood and Helaena, the princess with an affinity for prophecies and bugs, was his favorite.

Definitely more positive, which doesn't mean she doesn't get serious or sad, she just tends to be more upbeat first

Got heterochromia with both of Beez eye colors,which makes Gabriel happy.

Definitely annoys Alexei but in a fun way and if it makes him really upset makes up for it.

She also was raised neutral, but that was more of a change in parenting style where Gabe and Beez want their kids to be individuals, so the show them all sides to things.

#good omens 2 #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable husbands

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offtorivendell · 2 years

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Azriel and Elain Archeron, just living up to their names

Please don't share or screenshot this post without credit.

I've spoken before about their name parallel, and others have also, but when I was looking up the passage where Elain stabbed the King of Hybern for a different theory, it finally clicked for me that Feyre said that Elain - not the Cauldron - had answered her prayers. This distinction should really put an end to people reducing her role in the king's death, but people love to hate Elain, so maybe not.

I've already posted about Azriel's first corresponding quote, but there is a second, so here they all are, side by side.

Azriel

Azriel may be the angel of death, but in Hebrew it also means "god is my help."

Cassian’s dark brows narrowed. I dragged a hand over my face before going to Elain and touching her too-bony shoulder. “Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.” “I can help her,” said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing his fingers as he extended a hand. Nesta monitored him like a hawk, but kept silent as Elain took his hand, and out they went. - ACOWAR, chapter 30

Azriel, still limping, merely nudged aside Cassian and extended another option. “This is Truth-Teller,” he told her softly. “I won’t be using it today—so I want you to.” [...] Elain’s eyes widened at the obsidian-hilted blade in Azriel’s scarred hand. The runes on the dark scabbard. “It has never failed me once,” the shadowsinger said, the midday sun devoured by the dark blade. “Some people say it is magic and will always strike true.” He gently took her hand and pressed the hilt of the legendary blade into it. “It will serve you well.” “I—I don’t know how to use it—” “I’ll make sure you don’t have to,” I said, grass crunching as I stepped closer. Elain weighed my words … and slowly closed her fingers around the blade. Cassian gawked at Azriel, and I wondered how often Azriel had lent out that blade— Never, Rhys said from where he finished buckling on his own weapons against the side of the wagon. I have never once seen Azriel let another person touch that knife. - ACOWAR, chapter 69

Elain Archeron

Elain/e has a variety of different meanings, such as "fawn," "bright, shining light," "sun ray," and, as an added bonus, is associated with Helena* (therefore Oleanna), and Elena. In Hebrew, however, Elain means "my god has answered me."

* A reblog from @wingedblooms.

Nesta did not move from where she shielded Cassian’s body. The king raised his hand, power whirling like a dark galaxy in his palm. I knew they’d both die the moment that power hit them. Anything, I begged the Cauldron. Anything— The king’s hand began to drop. And then halted. A choking noise came out of him. For a moment, I thought the Cauldron had answered my pleas. But as a black blade broke through the king’s throat, spraying blood, I realized someone else had. Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.” - ACOWAR, chapter 74

Coincidence? Possibly. But it's interesting that Azriel helped Elain to answer Feyre's prayers at the end of chapter 74 in ACOWAR, by lending her Truth-Teller earlier that day. Azriel, who Feyre had previously called "the knife in the dark" (ACOMAF), indirectly assisted Elain in taking on his role when she stepped out of a shadow with his legendary dagger, which had "never failed" him, and would "serve" her well.

I'm working on a theory in which I hope to explain how Elain may be referred to as "the Shadowsinger's knife" in the future, or possibly is even now - I'll link it below when it's done - but really, the Truth-Teller scene was pivotal for them both, and I suspect will be crucial in their future story (manifesting Elriel being carranam, please). I really hope we learn about it from their points of view. 🤞🏻

Further reading about Truth-Teller and carranam:

Carranam #1 - a reblog from @silverlinedeyes

Carranam #2 - a reblog from @nikethestatue

Truth-Teller hints at a relationship between Elriel

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redpasserines · 8 months

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Helena, on mourning.

Car sirens. Blue, red, blue, red. The flashes of light reflecting on the beads of a broken necklace. A shadow standing on the balcony, lightly stepping around the broken shards of the window. The outline, glowing red and blue. And red again. A body, on the floor. The single pearl in her right hand. And Helena, under the table, with her mother’s blood splattered on her cheeks.

Did you come to kill me?

She skates like she’s running. She doesn’t feel like dancing right now, because right now, she exists twice. She’s eight and twelve years old. She can hear it, the fork clattering, the sirens, the way the wooden floor had creaked when she’d stood; can see the morning’s light, the blue and the red, Damian promising he’ll be back, a man who’d introduce himself as Jason, staring at her.

Everything always catches back to you, Helena. You’re allowed to be sad. Even if you think it doesn’t make sense.

The stands are empty. The rink is, too. It’s five in the morning, on a Tuesday. She expects to see her mother there, behind the glass panel. She turns, and she thinks she almost runs into her older brother, who’d never moved on from the shakiness he had in the beginning, but who’d always, stubbornly, tried to catch up to her.

Her dad holds her in his arms in front of a hole in the ground. He isn’t really her dad, because the dad-she-never-met is like they’d said her mother is, now, as in: laying down in a hole somewhere. It’s hot, maybe twenty four degrees or so, and the sun is shining bright. Helena doesn’t cry. This is all just a bad dream. On the side, she sees more of the stone memorials.

Her right skate cuts viscerally across the ice. Any other day, she would have felt bad for the people that’d come after her.

You remind me of my brother. Well, I guess he’d have been your brother too. I mean, I’m Todd’s brother, and yours, too, though, so I guess not necessarily. But he was really good. Not at skating, just. Well.

Helena is twelve years old. Her mother is never coming back. She didn’t leave for a day trip to scout another city. Don’t think that we’re leaving, baby, we’re just racing across the whole Earth. You love racing, I know that because when you were four and in kindergarten, you would make me bring you to school extra early so you could race with the boys. Helena had stopped complaining, at some point, probably around the time they went to Sweden and she’d learned about skating on black ice. Gosh, she had hoped they’d go back to Toronto, eventually.

Helena is eight years old. She’s running across the ice. She’s her mother’s daughter, because she’s running away, away from people that she would probably kill her if they’d ever caught up to her. Except, even though that’s all she’s been seeing, maybe because that’s all she wants, she can’t see them. She’ll never see them again.

She jumps. She knows she shouldn’t, not while she’s angry and falling apart and alone, but otherwise she’d remember. Remember the first time she’d seen Damian in that black and blue costume of his, explaining why he was wearing it. If she concentrated hard enough, she could remember her father’s old red helmet, too, the way it shone in the cave’s low lighting.

You remind me of him. He would have loved you.

She turns, four times. She lands it. She’s been trying that exact jump for years. It’s not supposed to be possible, technically. That’s what all of her coaches had told her. There are limits to everything, Helena. That’s okay. We just have to live with that. She screams.

#helena wayne #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson #<- implied #selina kyle #This might be terrible and ik the quadruple axel is overdone but I think it makes a sick parallel to Dick (who for context she never met)#Also blue and red which are Dick’s color (that Damian took up afterwards)#and Jason’s color.. not me explaining my whole writing lmfao #anyways. She means the world to me #oh and also idk if that’s clear or not but the shadow she sees is Jason (who adopts her) and the fork clattering morning light bit are when #she learned Damian died. Basically Selina was on the run from people she shouldn’t have crossed and they ended up killing her. Yeah. Sorry

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havendance · 8 months

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It would be amazing if you kept Helena's love interest as Kori! If you want to keep it true to the frankly inherent homoeroticism of 80's comics you can have them say shit like "she was my shining light in the darkness, my only reason for living, I wish to know her intimately and dream of her warm embrace..." While they're constantly asserting that they're friends :) just gal pals :) nothing going on here

I mean that’s a given!

just gals :) :) being pals :) :) sharing an apartment together, confiding their most intimate thoughts and deepest fears :) :) sparring, completing each other on how pretty they are etc etc

#helena bertinelli #koriand'r #the cooler gotham antihero #helena dick roleswap au #carthago delenda est #letters to the editor #dc #bats + birds + affiliated

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the-eighth-article · 2 months

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Helena. I like that name! Helena. That means shining light in Greek! Oh I do hope I came up with that..

#dw rp #the eighth doctor #future daughter #diary entry

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thewizardingtoad · 9 months

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Hi! Welcome to insanity, where I go through this one amazing manhwa "A Returner's Magic Should Be Special" and make a post every time Zod Exarion appears, just because. Please be aware that these posts can have spoilers up to chapter 232, so you might want to read that before these :)

Chapter 40:

Alright, so this is our first "official" look at this world's Zod, which is pretty exciting.

This picture is 100% him, this is his expression in at least half the Manhwa, so,,, good job? This is his very essence, staring at magic items intensely, probably a slightly crazed look in his eyes, knowledge and chaos shining though them. :'D

When l first saw this panel I honestly thought : wow this person must be very smart and powerful, but also a) what the fuck is up with him and b) I would like to not be in the same city as him ever thank you very much. In fact, I would appreciate at least one country between us at all times if that's possible :D

And then the villain vibes, who let this man have the villain vibes??? I don't think l even realized until my third reread that this was Zod. Why are you standing in a black room next to a big chair in front of a big ass window creepy lighting and all like some overrated eccentric super villain ready to take over the world??

Then I realized that in chapter 1 we saw Zod through the eyes of Desir, just like how we see him every time after this. This might be the only time when we see him how everyone, who haven't spent the last 6 years getting their ass kicked by him in chess, sees him. The very serious, looming figure with unimaginable power and knowledge. Someone who's pulling the threads in the shadows.

There's a very big contrast between these panels and every other appearance of his. While everyone sees the expressionless almost godlike genius, who's capable of anything and everything, Desir sees his friend, the very human, very real person, who he spent the last 6 years trying to keep sane by playing chess with him, and the person who did the same for him in return.

I might as well could say that in this picture we see "The Sage of Wisdom", the person everyone relies on, and everywhere else we see Zod Exarion, who, at least Desir knows, also needs to rely on someone.

Honestly, the more I stare at the last picture, the more I think him "breaking down" after finding Helena's ring(???) was coming for a long time. I mean, how long was he tower master for at this point? 71 years?? Jfc.

chapter 1 | chapter 40 | chapter 44 |

#a returner's magic should be special #returner's magic #rmss #zod exarion #joad exarion #Xeilon's Zod sightings #give it up for the angstiest 91 years old man in existence everyone #it's about the chess 🤌 it's about people's expectations of him 🤌 it's about the angst 🤌

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scribbleseas · 1 year

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The Indignant Pawn, Chapter XVII: The Inevitable Equalizer

Description: You are Y/n Y/l/n- formerly known as Princess Helena, the runaway princess.

You're an assassin for hire who only agrees to find the worst of London's criminals at the business end of your knife; until a mysterious woman hires you to end the likes of Ciel Phantomhive, the King of the Underworld. You find yourself trading your weapons for your abandoned family crest in order to infiltrate his home as none other than Princess Marie-Louise, your twin sister. What's to happen when you find that the young Earl is more than a callous businessman?

OVERALL STORY WARNINGS: sexual assault (once in the prologue), objectification, misogyny, death, detailed description of blood/gore, detailed description of murder, lying, impersonation, theft, weapons, detailed panic attacks, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, kissing

CHAPTER WARNING: suicidal ideation, drug dealing, mentions of overdose, drugs, there’s debate as to whether drug abuse is the fault of the dealer or the individual, mentions of murder, detailed gore

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! Second to last chapter...how are we feeling? I’m so happy to have gotten this out for you, even if it was a little later than planned. This chapter was hard to perfect, and I’m very proud of it! Don’t hesitate to let me know how you feel about it. Another quick two notes: 1. MC’s views do not reflect my own & 2. I opened commissions! If you really like how I do things, have an idea you’ve always wanted to see on screen, and the financial means, maybe consider sending a request! I would seriously appreciate it, and it would really help me out.

As always,

Happy Reading!

- Dan

⇠ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER ⇢

MASTERLIST

. . .

MAY 7TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

“You are rather terrible at this,” Ciel noted, watching Y/n shift her croquet mallet to find a better angle. She opted for the red and yellow set of balls; she had aimed poorly throughout the game, making them painfully strewn about the garden. Meanwhile, Ciel hit his set concisely through the hoops, with a marksman’s precision. His blue and black balls consistently sailed through the course. It was clear that he was the victor in this game.

Sebastian taught him how to play properly since many betting men liked to stake claims on their prowess with a wooden mallet. Ciel wasn’t ashamed to admit that he closed one or two business deals based on the stakes of such a game. Humans were overconfident creatures, and it was a fault he would exploit in any way he could.

“Unlike you, I have not had the leisure to spend my time perfecting my proficiency in childish garden games,” Y/n replied instantaneously, a terrible loser. Ciel was an even worse winner, much in the same way she liked to gloat when besting him at draughts. They made fierce competition for one another, nearly equal in every aspect that was important, yet immensely unbalanced when it came to useless skills: croquet and board games.

“I’m not sure I would consider hitting a ball through a checkpoint proficient,” Ciel replied, confidently crossing his arms across his chest as he watched her aim her next turn. He squinted, the bright spring sun shining on the fresh garden. It caused a bit of sweat to bead in his hairline. The warm weather was a light at the end of a bitter winter, enriching his fiancée, as well. Y/n looked polished, yet attractively unsophisticated in her white linen dress. It was short, hardly falling past her kneecaps.

With a frustrated exclamation, she hit the ball into the hoop’s thin leg, bouncing off the cast iron. It bounced down the cobblestone trail and into the bushes, causing Carl to sprint after it energetically.

“Case in point,” with a nod, Ciel gestured to the dog as he crawled under the bushes and blindly swept with his paw in search of the fugitive ball.

“I did aim, though I’m not sure how much smaller these bloody hoops can be before they’re too small to let the ball through them!” she protested.

“Right,” Ciel arched his eyebrow in an incredulous look before turning his attention to his mallet and the ball. After a brief moment of angling his hold, he gave the ball a sensible hit, sending it flawlessly through the course’s last hoop. With a self-satisfied chuckle, Ciel turned his focus back to her. “They are small, I reckon.”

“Watch yourself, or I might have to angle my mallet flat into your skull,” Y/n threatened with no real malice. In a silent surrender, she let her mallet fall into the manicured grass, opting to crouch and scratch behind Carl’s ears instead. Even though he retrieved Y/n’s adlib ball, the dog seemed unsettled, his head craning towards the tree line.

A growl rumbled in Carl’s throat, though it wasn’t entirely intimidating, considering his head barely came up past Y/n’s shin. His sandy-brown hair was stained with rich dirt, causing Ciel to wrinkle his nose; though the thought of ordering his butler to bathe the creature was amusing enough to make up for it.

Frowning, Y/n faced the same direction Carl’s ardent gaze pierced into, and sure enough, Sebastian emerged from that direction with a man in tow. The man cursed in Spanish, his hands bound behind his back as the demon pulled him by his lapel jacket. However, the moment his gaze landed on Y/n, he stopped fighting Sebastian.

“Y/n! It is Diego! Tell him to let me go!” he insisted, stumbling over a loose piece of cobblestone. “Please! He ties so tight, I cannot feel my hands,” Diego complained, making a show of pain in his tight facial expression.

“Your hands will survive, you dramatic fool,” Sebastian clicked his tongue, fastening the man to an outdoor chair in seconds. He left Diego’s satchel limp in the grass to his side. “Do relax, Miss Y/n, I have already taken the liberty of disarming our guest here,” the butler said, but that did little to calm her stance. Her mallet merely dipped as Carl sniffed around Diego’s bound legs, each one tied to the chair’s front counterparts. The dog picked a sunny spot in the grass once he was satisfied.

“Why are you here, Diego?” Y/n insisted suspiciously, her attitude did nothing to quell Ciel’s disdain. He made no effort to keep the disgust out of his face, quickly noting the dirty, yet well-made, clothing Diego sported. He was a young man, he couldn’t have been much older than twenty-five. His skin looked gold in the sun, a contrast to his dark brown eyes and hair.

“Who are you,” Ciel demanded before Diego could respond. Y/n already told him that Doña, her former benefactor, was Spanish. Diego was clearly of the same nationality, and she seemed suspicious of him, and Sebastian had to disarm him. He had been lurking in the forest. He was likely a subordinate of this… Doña.

“You mean, Y/n didn’t tell you about us while you were falling in love?” Diego batted his eyes sardonically. Surely, he would have clasped his hands if his wrists weren’t tied to each arm of the chair. “That is rude. Poor, poor manners the princess has.”

“Falling in love,” Y/n repeated with enough dubiousness to nearly convince Ciel that they were far from such a relationship.

“The paper. In my bag,” Diego snapped, gesturing to the well-loved leather satchel to his side. Sure enough, he had an issue of The Daily Courant rolled up and shoved into it. The paper was wrinkled in Ciel’s hands, as if someone had held it angrily, crinkling the pristine print. The front page’s expanse was overcome with a photograph of himself and Y/n boarding the S.S Highness before they left for Italy— the issue dated back to April 28th.

The public heard word of their engagement while they were overseas.

“What does it say?” Y/n demanded, abandoning her mallet in the grass yet again and leaning next to Ciel to read the headline:

New Royal Pair: Queen’s Granddaughter: Her Highness Princess Marie Louise and Lord of Phantomhive Spotted. Engaged?

The photograph was unmistakably them, arms intertwined. At the time, what was likely a brief look to the side of Ciel’s, was pictured as a long, loving look from Y/n.

“Everyone on this damn continent knows. Doña knows, we know,” Diego added. “Do you see why I’ve come here now?”

“I have no obligation to tell you anything. I stopped being a puppet for that woman the moment she sent a dozen gunmen to kill me,” Y/n seethed, ripping the newspaper out of Ciel’s grip. “Get him out of my sight,” she told Sebastian.

“My Lord?” Sebastian questioned, never one to take orders from Y/n.

“I order you to—” Ciel started to comply.

“Hey, hey, hey. Whoa! Stop doing that, you strange devil-man!” Diego protested, shifting violently in his chair to angle his front towards Y/n. Sebastian’s glowing eyes frightened him, but the light was subtle enough for Y/n to assume it was from the spring sun. She knit her eyebrows together in confusion. “I come here to warn you. I have information. I cannot tell you what she’s planning if I am dead. Can I?”

Ciel frowned. Of course, a powerful figure from the Underworld would never let such a mortifying betrayal survive. “Forget it, Sebastian,” he sighed, rubbing his thumb and index finger into his forehead. In her hesitation to protest, he suspected Y/n felt the same way.

“Why would you betray her?” Y/n asked, clearly not believing Diego’s defense. Ciel was hesitant as well.

“Doña is family— our sister-in-law. When Phantomheave killed Manuel, we wanted to kill him right back for it,” Diego said pointedly, his scowl dark enough for Ciel to be thankful that Sebastian had him bound tightly to the chair. “Ojo por ojo, though it seems my Lord is down one of ‘em already.”

Manuel.

“But now…it has been too long, and Doña has grown too dark and obsessed. Me and Carmen and Andrea just want to return home. I am a good painter, Y/n, this is not my life. Manuel was supposed to manage the family business,” he continued. Under his vengeful exterior, he did look tired, like a man who couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried, recognize his life. For years, Ciel felt the same way. Especially the first several years with Sebastian; he’d look into the mirror and see someone completely different.

“We just want to be home,” the man said, “but Doña wants you— both of you— dead, no matter what happens to her. She is planning to intercept your wedding.”

The wedding location was so minimally disclosed that Ciel was uncertain about it. How could she have the means to find out?

But Y/n seemed convinced. “How?”

“She will not say, I swear,” Diego swallowed with difficulty, shifting uncomfortably. His stare didn’t leave hers, though sweat rolled down his low hairline. “Please, Y/n. Without Carmen and me, she has no one in England. The rest of us are home, managing business.”

Business.

Manuel, business, Spain. Manuel, business, Spain. Manuel, business, Spain.

“What is this Doña’s real name?” Ciel demanded. The sudden intensity in his voice was enough to startle both Y/n and Diego, while Sebastian’s grin only deepened. The demon knew what was going on. He knew how Ciel was related to this woman, Manuel, Spain, and why she wanted him dead. That grin of his made a joke of his imperfect memory— thinking nothing of a simple mission for Her Majesty that took less than three days of his time.

Ciel told Elizabeth it was a business trip to discuss textile exports. He brought back a gown for her, and Spanish wine for her family as if it had been a vacation of leisure.

“I cannot betray my family more than I have. Though, surely you know, Ciel Phantomheave. You would truly be a sick bastard if you did not remember the family you slaughtered.”

Y/n paled, taking a step away out of surprise. He didn’t blame her. It sounded horrific. The memory was more graphic than most missions. Sebastian and himself killed everyone that passed... all except for one woman, who Ciel found in the leader’s study, cradling the dead body of a man in her lap. Sebastian left a bullet precisely between his eyes.

“Shall we finish this one, too?” Sebastian had asked him, approaching from behind.

“No. We’re finished here.”

“Master?”

“Look at her. She could not possibly rally now.”

Apparently, Ciel had been wrong about that.

“What does he mean?” Y/n asked, looking every bit as queasy as the moment after she met her family and sicked every bite of her breakfast into Buckingham Palace’s shrubbery.

Ciel took a sharp breath in, “I will not repent for harm that was just in its end. If you’ve come here searching for an apology, then I am afraid you will be sorely disappointed.” His voice came out steadier than he would have expected, given that he was the subject of such an unfiltered look of pain and confusion on Y/n’s face.

For a moment, Diego looked as if he might curse Ciel out for his indifference, or sob over the loss of his family. But instead, he pursed his lips and retrained his gaze on Y/n, too hurt to continue looking at Ciel after such a blunt response. He tried his best to look detached, scarcely maintaining his composure.

“Y/n, I ask for the means to return home in exchange for this information. This man has claimed the soul of my entire family — and Doña’s. He will not have ours,” he said.

“Mariana’s soul,” Ciel corrected. He had to have confirmation that it was his pity, his rare show of mercy, that put him in these circumstances. “That’s her name, is it not?”

“…It is,” Diego admitted hesitantly, still refusing to look at him. There was a new note of respect in his voice, less aggressive than when he presumed Ciel had forgotten about the family entirely. “Manuel was her husband, me and Carmen’s brother.”

“Release him, Sebastian,” Y/n ordered after a halting pause, her nimble fingers quickly unclasping her earrings. They were teardrop diamonds set in gold, an engagement gift sent from her Uncle Edward and Aunt Alexandra. The Prince of Wales and Princess of Denmark, respectively. The heirs to Her Majesty’s throne.

Those earrings sat between the flesh of generations of royalty, and Y/n unclasped them and offered them in her palm without a semblance of hesitance. When she refastened the stoppers on the back of the earrings, she repeated herself: “untie him, Sebastian.”

“Unfortunately, I take exclusive orders from my Lord, Miss Y/n. Forgive me,” Sebastian replied without a hint of apology. He was awaiting Ciel’s response, trying to predict which would win: his affection for Y/n or his pride.

“Ciel,” Y/n’s stare pried into the side of his head. “He wants to go back to Spain with his sister. You killed the rest of their—”

“His family was made of drug dealers, responsible for the overdoses of potentially dozens of English li—” he started to explain.

“Drug dealers coerce no one to take the drugs that cause overdose,” Y/n fired back incredulously, crossing her arms over her chest. She wanted Ciel to release Diego; therefore, she expected Ciel to release Diego. Sometimes Ciel wondered if she still thought herself a royal in their dynamic.

“They supply it!” Ciel replied.

“The individual decides to take their supply! It’s a business! It is not the same as pulling a trigger and murdering like you did them.”

Sebastian observed the argument with the same amusement he would watch a sparring match. Diego seemed interested in expecting his boots, all too calm considering they were debating his future.

Y/n continued breathlessly, “Diego risked his life to come here and warn us today. We can make preparations against her now. Our wedding can be safe from her because of him. What will you do, otherwise? Kill him too? Make her more determined to kill us? You don’t wish to give him your money? Fine! I can fund their way. All you stand to sacrifice is your pride.” Her face was red.

Sensing the growing tension, Carl picked up from the sunny patch in the grass and whined, rubbing against Y/n’s dress. At least Ciel knew which side their dog was on.

There was no reason for Ciel to kill Diego beyond wetting his own thirst for blood and self-righteousness. His morality wouldn’t let him kill uselessly, particularly when the man provided him with invaluable insight that could save the woman he was rather fond of, himself, and a significant day for both of their lives. Their wedding was a day that needed to go flawlessly, and the forewarning gave them time to make the preparations to ensure it.

His resolve melted, and judging by the way Sebastian’s smile fell, he sensed it as well.

“Let him go,” Ciel said. “That is an order.”

Y/n released a long breath, watching Sebastian expertly undo the knotting around Diego’s limbs. The Spaniard cursed, rubbing at the red imprints the rope left in his skin. His movements lagged as he picked his satchel up and hung it over his shoulder. Sebastian returned his handgun.

“Take these,” Y/n said, offering the heirloom earrings. Just as Diego extended his hand obediently, Ciel interrupted.

“No, Her Majesty will notice if you stop wearing those. Sebastian, get him a cut of last week’s profits from the company. We wouldn’t want to have to explain to the Queen that you’ve given away a classic royal heirloom as a gift to a commoner,” he explained.

“Consider this payment my reparations to you. Although I do not regret fulfilling the Queen’s wish— dispelling drug trade between Colombia and Britain — I will give you the means to move forward,” this was the best manner to proceed. At least it would take the target off his back, somewhat. Unless Diego was double-crossing him. That offense would have to result in death, no matter how Y/n pleaded with him.

“Thank you,” Diego nodded. “Y/n, I hope he makes you happy,” he tacked on, somewhat awkwardly. Naturally, he couldn’t fathom the idea of his family’s killer inadvertently romancing someone to the extent that they couldn’t kill him, abandoning their mission and lifestyle, altogether.

After all, being a princess was a full-time commitment. Surely, Y/n recalled that she could never return to the life she lived before stepping onto his estate. There was no feasible way for her to continue living the life she lived.

“Thank you, Diego,” Y/n finished refastening her earrings. “Good luck, truly.”

“Come, I will show you the cut the Lord wishes to offer you,” Sebastian said, guiding Diego into the manor. The Spaniard sent Y/n one final wink before following the demon.

The moment the two were out of earshot, Y/n faced Ciel once more. “To best prepare ourselves, we need to pool our knowledge. Tell me about her while we walk,” she motioned for him to follow. This was the trail that rounded the estate perimeter, weaving through the structures that were on the grounds; the guest house, main manor, stables, and conservatory. The sun had been at its peak during their game, and now it was beginning its descent for the early afternoon.

“Fine,” Ciel said, offering her his hand while they walked. They were only able to act so frankly when they were alone, holding bare hands. Nothing was quite as grounding, save for the way she ran her thumb over one of his knuckles methodically. He could never tell if the repetitive motion was to soothe him or herself.

He told Y/n about Queen Victoria’s request for her Guard Dog to sever ties between the Colombian drug trade and British consumption. The number of overdoses and drug-related theft in her nation was beginning to upset her, and her researchers traced some of the cocaine influx to Os Caeos, a branch of the Spanish mafia. The group was facilitating connections and trade over the Atlantic, and Victoria wanted it to cease.

She gave Ciel the assignment, and the best way to end the business was to pull it up by its roots. The family was too enshrined in its work to stop after a mere threat, and much too far removed from the British Underworld. They wouldn’t connect Ciel, a young British nobleman, to being the Queen’s Guard Dog. That left him with leaving them no choice but to stop— killing them.

Ciel and Sebastian took a steamship into Barcelona. It wasn’t difficult to find the Baulo operations manor; the family lived there for decades. Civilians could point to it from the street. Everyone knew the Baulo family by face and name. Their mafia was a close, family-operated company, spearheaded by Manuel, the eldest son of the previous head. He was married to Mariana Baulo-Hernandez; they were expecting their heir.

“Clear it out. I want the whole lot of them killed,” Ciel ordered, “I will find their records for Her Majesty.” He took his gun out of his deep pocket, the metal heavy in his hand. “Do not let them kill me, Sebastian,” he said, an ironic smile twisting his lips. His heart raced with adrenaline, excitement. Not fear. Anticipation. It was the same sureness and clarity he used going into any chess match, really.

Ciel would stomp out these enemies for Her Majesty. Such was his duty as a nobleman and a Phantomhive. He crushed who she wished silenced.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, my Lord,” Sebastian chirped, pulling his gloves off neatly and tucking them into his pocket. He never liked to soil his gloves. The contract on his hand glowed now that it was exposed, a manifestation of the sheer supernatural power that flowed through the demon. He made easy work of bending the metal gate open, each hand holding one fortified metal bar and pulling it apart with the strength and disquieting pleasure of an automaton.

The butler wasted no time afterward, shouldering through the main door and killing the servants who met him. Ciel heard their brief screams from a grotesque choir, each fallen one replaced by a new terrorized individual. It didn’t take long until gunshots accompanied those cries. Of course, nothing of such earthly strength could stop a demon.

After another brief moment, Ciel took after his butler, looking at the sparse corpses adorning the halls with contempt stoicism. They were servants dirtying his shoes with their blood. No one aiding these criminals was innocent, whether that came in the form of cooking their dinner or washing their floors.

This was how to pull an ingrained institution out by its roots. Like a weed— the gardener doesn’t simply cut the plant down, he pulls it out of the ground and chars it.

Ciel stepped over a maid’s limp body and started up the staircase. He already knew where he was set to go, forward-thinking enough to have mapped out the manor’s vague layout beforehand. Even so, any smart business leader would keep their office secluded on the top floor.

It was easy to ignore the pained screams from around him when he had a fixed mission in mind. No one was going to escape. Ciel was the cat, these foolish drug dealers and their staff were the mice, and he supposed…Sebastian was the trap.

Curiously, the office door was closed when Ciel reached it. There were notably more guards on this floor and near this room— loyal servants to their very end. How kind.

Even still, blood pooled under the door and it stained the copper door knob. As the cacophony of sounds quieted, he could hear the soft, labored breaths of someone crying.

Cry. Nothing in front of you will change if you cry.

The knob only jiggled stubbornly when Ciel turned it. He frowned.

Locked.

The crying stopped, the person in there likely realizing that there was someone outside, trying to get in. Demanding to get in.

Ciel took one of the fallen guard’s truncheons. The weapon was about a foot long, and heavy in his hand. With a grunt, he put all of his strength into ramming the end of it into the knob. It gave slightly, the copper denting and leaning out of the hole. He repeated the process twice before it gave way, roughly falling to the floor. The door swung open, revealing a hastily made, and last-ditch barricade: two office chairs.

He grew tired, but he forced himself to refocus on the new room. The office was a wreck, a mess of scattered papers, two bodies and books were strewn about the room. There was a bookcase next to where the door was, most of its books carelessly thrown across the floor. The piece of furniture seemed like someone pulled it several centimeters out, likely trying to add another layer to the haphazard barricade before they realized the wooden fissure was too tall and dense to move alone.

Ciel wouldn’t have noticed her if she hadn’t stayed insistently close to the man’s body. His legs peaked out from behind the desk, but she was small enough to have stayed reasonably hidden if she wanted to.

He unlocked his gun, but she didn’t seem to care. Instead, she sat on her haunches and cradled the man’s head in her lap. It made sense that Sebastian found and killed Manuel Baulo in his own office. A bloody serrated knife sat to her side, pulled out from between his eyes. She pushed his wavy hair down his forehead to hide the wound.

She kept her eyes closed, surely aware that Ciel was with her, but she ignored him. Instead, she held Manuel’s limp left hand with both of hers, intensely whispering into it in Spanish. Likely praying. Her matching ring sat on her left ring finger as well, a big diamond set in gold.

This was his wife, Mariana.

“Descansa, fácil. Mi amor,” Mariana kissed his knuckles, leaving a smear of her crimson lipstick on him. Tears streamed down her cheeks when she opened her eyes again. She was rather young, but then again, her husband was as well. The previous head of Os Caeos contracted some unlikely disease and died early, leaving his eldest and his wife to run a business when they couldn’t have been older than thirty.

Very slight smile lines creased on either side of her mouth, twin dimples on her cheeks. Her eyes were dark and soulful as if her pupils took over her irises entirely. They were intelligent, easily taking Ciel in— from the top of his head to the bottoms of his shoes. Despite his best efforts, they were stained. Her eyes lingered on his gun.

“If you are killing me, you do quickly,” she said, finally addressing Ciel. She wore a white nightgown, dressed down like her husband’s body. After all, the sun was just beginning to rise, breaking through the gloomy clouds. It was rather untimely, the glorious light made the man look like a martyr when he wasn’t.

“Or if you feel nervous to kill a pregnant woman, give the gun,” Mariana added, “there is nothing left for me in this world, Ciel Phantomheave.” Her position and small maternal bump would have concealed evidence of her pregnancy. It had slipped Ciel’s mind.

“You know of me?” Ciel asked, masking his surprise. He let his gun waver. She was in no state to so much as threaten him, much less attack.

“Of course. We thought we might meet you soon, although…Manuel thought we would have time to negotiate. His father thought we needed to kill you after your return. But…my husband disliked the thought of killing children,” Mariana sighed, gently running her fingers through Manuel’s curls.

“I make it a policy not to negotiate with criminals,” Ciel said. She was not going to manipulate him.

“I know that now,” Mariana replied, “almost my entire family was in this manor. Let me be with them. I only want to be with them.” She wiped a stray tear away with the back of her hand, collecting herself admirably, given that her husband’s lifeless body was splayed out in front of her.

“My Lord?” Sebastian entered. He must’ve been silent coming in, given neither Ciel nor Mariana noticed his entrance. “Shall I finish this one off, too?” he questioned, knife at the ready. The demon was the trap. Mariana was the final mouse in the maze, but she didn’t want the cheese. She wanted the trap.

“No, Sebastian. We’re finished here.”

There was nothing Sebastian disliked more than when Ciel showed mercy. “Master…?” he asked, confused. He was reluctant to put his knife away.

Mariana sighed as if she had been expecting Ciel’s response. She looked up at the two of them, her hands never left her husband’s body. She wasn’t a woman who wanted to die. She was stronger than that and smarter not to re-establish the Spanish mafia after Ciel had crushed it so decisively. Letting her go would let her raise her child in the country, and Os Caeos could remain some distant memory. A story Mariana would relay to the child when they were old enough to learn about their father.

“Look at her. She could not possibly rally now,” Ciel replied, gesturing to the broken woman’s scattered stare. They would be leaving her to her own devices— whether she survived would be up to her will. “I want to leave, Sebastian. Now.”

Y/n listened to Ciel’s recollection of that morning with surprising calmness. She merely nodded along, keeping her thoughtful gaze fixed ahead as they walked. Nothing about it seemed to surprise her, though he suspected she worried more than he was letting on.

“I see why she would want you dead,” Y/n admitted. Ciel did as well; he went through a similar trauma to Mariana, and his sole purpose in life is to find those responsible and force them through the exact torment and pain he suffered through. She was no different. Those who Y/n killed for were no different.

“Frankly, you might have asked this woman why she would want me dead before ensuing on this mission,” Ciel replied, “why did you never ask?”

Y/n waited a moment, unsure how to reply. “I knew she was telling the truth. Sometimes…people go through suffering that goes beyond words,” if any kind of pain that would qualify, it would be cradling your killed spouse in your lap; feeling so hopeless that you’d prefer their murderer take you too as opposed to living in a world that he was ripped away from.

“Ciel, she isn’t going to give up, even if Diego and Carmen really do go back to Spain. I know her,” Y/n added after a beat of silence.

“Then we will simply need to make every defensive measure,” he replied, not entirely believing his own words. Mariana showed what she was capable of— finding and locating the lost German princess, manipulating the monarchy into believing she was her sister, and even picking up a destroyed business and restoring it to its former empire without Ciel so much as noticing.

To be able to out think a capable woman her would take immense planning and luck, but fortunately, Ciel had a demon for a butler. No matter what he thought of his fiancée, Sebastian would be duty-bound to protect them if that was what Ciel ordered him to do. It wouldn’t be the first time Ciel forced Sebastian to act despite his will.

After all, that’s what their contract was. Sebastian obeyed him, and in the end, Ciel would let him take his soul.

Y/n shook her head, “she will find a way, no matter what we do. Whether it’s next week or next year.”

“You underestimate us, and the staff. We can handle her,” Ciel insisted. His servants were the most elite in the world, handpicked by Sebastian, the protectors of Phantomhive secrets. They’ve fought off mafia men, psychotic circus performers— even Y/n herself. He was unwilling to allow his confidence to tremble in the face of a grief-stricken woman, looking for vengeance as a means to give her life purpose once again.

“But you would be underestimating…Mariana.” She said, stopping in the middle of the pathway. Saying the woman’s name made her face contort uncomfortably.

“Our wedding will be perfect, Y/n. Honestly,” Ciel said, stopping with her. He turned to face her properly and let her hand go to properly brush strands of her hair out of her face. The pads of his fingers settled on either side of her neck, touching her skin so lightly, he barely felt it. He could feel her pulse drumming beneath his thumbs, but her gaze softened.

He’d put everything he had and more into protecting her, no matter what the cost.

“There is nothing I would not do for you. And I know you feel the same,” Ciel insisted, unlike himself. He was always unlike himself when he opened his mouth and failed to filter what came out. It was disgusting, but no one could bear witness besides her.

Her.

She was classically beautiful with a regal face that was unmistakably royal. How could anyone think otherwise?

Ciel’s thumb brushed over her scar, the only defining quality that separated her likeliness from her twin. It was so thin and faded, one would have needed to know where to look in order to notice it.

“You’re right. I suppose we can sort it out,” she conceded reluctantly, but Ciel still disliked the worried frown on her lips. She was the most important person in his life— even if his priority was and would always remain vengeance. This woman was the first person to bring light back into his world.

No one was going to ruin this for them, not when they’d finally gotten all of the rubbish out of their way. Life couldn’t be so cruel. The world was an inevitable equalizer. It was not cruel. It would not steal from Ciel more than it already had.

“Whatever might happen, we can face it together,” Ciel said, internally bristling at himself. He loved the warmth he felt toward her. He detested the way it made him act, the vulnerability it gave him.

Something you love is something you can lose.

Ciel wasn’t sure if the thought of losing her lit an irate fire in his stomach, or if it hurt so much it made him feel ready to be consumed by such an inferno.

Though, of course, Ciel trusted her to fight for herself more than he trusted himself. Still, he wanted to kill her enemies, leave their bleeding bodies strewn about the corridor, left for dead. He wanted to be the person to tether her when the night tried to consume her.

Without realizing it, he had been leaning down, and closer, his stare locked on her pensive lips. Quick to react to any subtle movement, Y/n tilted her head and closed her eyes, meeting his lips with hers.

Slowly but surely, they were beginning to improve each instance they kissed. They found a balance, a smooth rhythm that allowed control to oscillate between the two of them. Y/n’s lips pressed and moved impassionately, his would follow. Like a waltz.

Feeling her lips against his always awakened something in him.

The air around them grew thicker— and thicker— and if Ciel had half of his wits about him, he might have noticed the intertwining clouds in the sky. He might have smelled the musky smell of the earth moments before the rain. But at that moment, he was rather occupied, and the sheets of rain that fell came by complete surprise.

The rain drizzled. The tree leaves whispered, and the sky rumbled. Ciel broke their kiss to regain a sense of their surroundings; unmoved in the middle of the pathway, lined with manicured rose bushes. The trail of dirt and paw prints told him that Carl was smarter than his owners, likely having sensed the new pressure in the air and rain back to the house. Sebastian installed small doors for the clever dog, and it took less than an hour to train him to find them.

Ciel gasped in surprise, somewhat from the sudden rainfall, but more so from Y/n’s clenching on the front of his shirt to bring him back down to her level. She was commanding him to act, putting every bit of her assertiveness into the way she moved with him, channeling all of her worry into something tangible and intoxicating.

“I want to go to your room,” she whispered against his lips. “That is an order.”

Ciel’s heart pounded. Y/n chuckled, clearly feeling it as her right palm trailed down his chest. Every touch electrified his skin. He was static. She was electric. The air was growing heavier by the moment, and it wasn’t only from the rain.

“Yes, sure,” even if Ciel wanted to, he couldn’t have made himself say no. He wasn’t sure he knew how to pronounce such a word.

Within moments they were making a horribly uncoordinated effort to run up one of the side staircases. Y/n was practically dragging him, her soaked dress was thin and sticking to her corset, a gown that would have been improper if they were anywhere but on manor grounds…simply playing croquet. Ciel remembered making a conscious effort to disregard the simplicity and inherent lewdness of such a dress.

It hardly covered more than a nightshift.

He closed his door and locked it before Sebastian could materialize and suggest Y/n leave and catch a warm bath before she caught a cold, or before he could offer a tray of tea.

There was something Ciel wanted much more than a steaming cup. He wanted her. He took a sharp breath in, so much that it made his lungs stutter in his chest. She was straining to unlace the back of her gown, pushing her hair over the side of her shoulder to get it out of the way.

Something about the back of her neck…

“It’s cold in this thing,” she complained, her cheeks growing fiery. “Ciel.”

“You would allow me?” Ciel felt as if he was barely in control of his transgressions, his fingers gracing over the delicately tied satin. “Are…you certain?”

“Yes,” she replied, keeping her hair out of the way. “You can do it, or I will.”

Ciel had it undone in seconds, and the wet garment fell to the floor, leaving Y/n in her corset, tall stockings, and surprisingly short drawers. They ended centimeters above her garters at mid-thigh. Ultimately, she exposed nothing entirely incriminating, but seeing the curve of her waist and her stockings’ garters wrapping around her upper thighs was certainly…more. Her necklace sat between her collarbones, guiding his focus down her corset’s hemline, which kept her breasts pushed upwardly.

His face burned. He was sure if he were to put the back of his hand against his cheek, it would blaze.

“Speechless. And this was all it took,” Y/n made a haphazard attempt to joke, clearly content with being stuck in wet undergarments for the time being. He didn’t blame her, and frankly, Ciel wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle her needing to dry off in front of him more. “If I knew this would be the outcome, I might have tried it much sooner.”

He rolled his eyes, “you’re impossible.’

“Perhaps,” Y/n fired back, growing more comfortable. She smiled at him, her eyes soft, yet searching. It was a strong façade, but she was nervous. Of course, she was nervous. He was nervous.

Ciel reluctantly shouldered off his jacket, which took the brunt of the rain. They didn’t stand out there for long enough to be soaked to the bone, so it was likely Y/n truly was much drier without her most superficial layer of clothing.

He wanted to unbutton the top of his shirt, but his fingers stopped. He paused as if she’d slapped him across the face.

She would see the mark. The Mark of the Beast.

If knowing the sorts of atrocities he pleasured in carrying out for Her Majesty wasn’t enough to fully drive her away, then surely, being marked by sadistic cultists would be.

“Ciel?” The playfulness in Y/n’s face dropped the moment he hesitated. “Are you alright?”

Ciel was, but he wasn’t.

He wanted to unbutton his shirt and bury his face into the floral scent of her hair, and kiss her lips until they chapped.

But she couldn’t know yet, could she? Could she handle it?

Of course she could. She knew the worst of him. He knew the worst of her. This mark wasn’t something he wanted; it wasn’t a deal.

He pursed his lips for a moment, swallowing despite his dry mouth. “If I am to show you this, then you must not tell a single living soul, do you promise?”

Y/n tilted her head but nodded once nevertheless. “Of course not. Your secrets are my secrets,” she said, and frankly, that sentence shot fresh jolts of electricity down Ciel’s spine.

What’s yours is mine; what’s mine is yours.

They were one another’s great equalizer.

“Alright,” he released a breath and went to unclasp the pair of buttons, but Y/n reached upwards to put a gentle hand on his chest. She stared at him— sometimes he detested the bloody eyepatch he wore — her face was stern.

“Not if you are not ready, Ciel. I mean it,” she insisted, but he had his mind made.

Your secrets are my secrets.

“I am,” he said, carefully removing her hands from his shirt to unbutton it. Y/n stopped refuting him, newly distracted as he took his shirt off. Now he understood where her reluctance came from, once he’d finished unlacing her dress. She looked at him with a barely restrained passion, and it was a heavy gaze to be picked apart under. He imagined he looked just as intense and serious as she did.

“Ciel…” Y/n frowned, immediately catching onto the brand on his left side. The mark was burned into his skin, slightly under and to the side of his torso, the far part of his ribcage. While all the redness and irritation were long-subsided, the brand left the afflicted skin slightly raised and swelled, like a stamp. It was going to remain there forever— until the day he died.

“Who did this to you?” she asked, anger flashing in her eyes. Strangely, it was a comfort to him. The Queen on his chess board was prepared to fight for him, much in the way he wanted to kill every last one of her enemies.

I returned to discover the same thing. We can take them down together.

“It’s an old wound,” Ciel guided her fingertips over the raised skin to show her that it didn’t hurt. He was healed, stronger than ever at one another’s side. The foreign touch made goosebumps raise in his arms, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. “Those who did this to me are dead.”

Sensing his unwillingness to speak about it further, Y/n didn’t press. She seemed satisfied knowing that the perpetrators were long gone, but almost sorry she couldn’t do it herself, judging by her frown and the protective toughness in her eyes. Ciel was sorry he couldn’t kill those cultists himself, either. Sometimes, he’d dream about aiming his gun and shooting them between the eyes, or in the heart. Anything to watch them bleed out.

Y/n kissed him, putting another intimate kiss further up his jawline, close to his ear. “I hope they suffered immensely.” Such a curse shouldn't have been erotic, but it was.

Her fingers wrapped around his wrist, guiding him to the edge of his bed to sit. Ciel moved without another thought, blushing when she stood in between his legs once more. She was ethereal in the orange candlelight, her skin deceptively soft, despite the number of healed wounds all over it. He wanted to trace each one. Kill everyone who inflicted pain on her, though he was sure most of them were dead. Not to mention, he was one of those people. Ciel’s gaze flittered to the light scar next to her throat.

She was poetically beautiful. Pulchritudinous.

He thought of the first time he read William Wadsworth: she was a Phantom of delight, When first she gleaned upon my sight; A lovely Apparition…

At the time, Ciel thought the man had been a lust-struck fool, thinking with the contents of his trousers. Now the American poet was beginning to make sense; did that mean they were both lust-stricken fools or was this idolatry normal?

Y/n chuckled when he pressed his lips into her knuckles, then the inner part of her wrist.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Ciel didn’t have an answer for her. He preferred to find her lips again and let her climb onto his lap, her thighs bracketing his legs. Her garters were white and made of lace, matching the dress that they left in a heap on the floor. He couldn’t keep his hands from fiddling with them, grazing over the sheer material her stockings were made of. Eventually, his hands settled on her hips, comfortable on the junction between her upper thighs and waist.

This is why polite society made married women chaperone nobility. If Ciel had known that something this pleasing was possible between himself and Y/n he would have struggled much more. Truly, it was no wonder couples never engaged in such illicit acts until they were married.

Y/n attacked every one of his senses. The moment she had him unlace her dress, he was finished. Now he was touching her warm skin, close enough to smell powder and rosewater. She made soft gasps each time she rocked in his lap, sounds that would undoubtedly haunt him.

Ciel was not a gentleman with her; he was not the Queen’s Guard Dog; he was not the head of the Funtom Company; and most significantly, he was not the next head of Phantomhive.

For the first time in his life, his identity was irrelevant. Privately, Ciel found solace in that.

Solace with her.

. . .

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