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furiousgoldfish · 3 months

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If you're often wondering why do abusers do this to kids, and why they don't change their behaviour even when it's pointed out, I have a few insights to share.

I believe abuse is an easy way for people to get out of parenting their own kids, while still getting credit as if they're doing it. And even more, they get special privileges and resources that normal parents wouldn't try to get, because the price of them is too high for the children to pay.

For instance, in order to take care of a child, you have to deal with their development needs; meaning you need to be educated enough about human development to know why the child is acting the way they do, you need to know if they need guidance, support, boundaries, stability, schedules, or entertainment, fun, play-time, attention, comforting, more resources, more interaction. You also need to deal with their random behaviours, like children will sometimes get loud and careless, break stuff, cause damage, turn against you, get sick, get into bad moods, get sulky, throw tantrums, get stuck in bad groups of people or be predated upon, have trouble at school, wander off, develop mental illness, and as a parent, you are expected and required to be there for all of that, on top of regularly caring that they're well-fed, bathed, that they have fitting and functional clothing, that they're well socialized, and that their living condition is clean and functional enough for them to be happy and safe.

Now, if you're an abuser, and your child is struggling or giving you any of the random behaviours that annoy you, and you lash out at them, tell them nobody is ever going to love them, threaten to 'give them a reason to cry', yell at them until they get frozen in shock and pain, they're not going to come to you next time for help. In fact, it's unlikely they'll feel safe around you to exhibit half of their normal behaviour, instead they'll be sheepish and too scared they'll accidentally annoy you, so you won't have to hear about their day, their bad moods, their worries, their loudness, them making any trouble for you; in fact, your mental energy will be yours only and you will effectively not have to emotionally raise a child anymore, it will be just another human who is too scared of you to ask you to fulfill any of your parental duties.

What about when your child is sick? You know you have to care for your sick child. Except, you're an abuser, so to you this is a drain on your energy and you'd rather not have to deal with it, because a child to you is not a real person but an object that is in your way. So, you yell at your child that they got sick on purpose because they hate you, you tell them it because they did 'x' and 'y' (which they maybe did because you failed to watch out for them) and inform them that you will not be taking them to the hospital. Now your child will not expect any care while they're sick, and in fact, they'll be too scared to even come to you next time they're sick. Again, you got out of childcare and have all of your energy for yourself, at the expense of your child's health.

If you continually call your child a financial burden, ask them when they're going to pay rent, force them to work in order to deserve to eat and sleep at your house, complain about how 'money doesn't grow on trees', then your child will be too scared and ashamed to confess when their things are broken, clothes no longer fitting or torn, their shoes too small or breaking apart, their hygiene products at their end, or for anything they might like or want from the store. Now your child will try to make ends meet on their own, and you can financially save up and buy yourself what you like, and then buy the kid something when it's convenient for you, maybe for like a birthday present. Maybe at this point you are starting to see that if your child runs around looking very rugged, people are going to notice the visible lack of care, so you either make sure the kid does have some new-looking clothes, or, you tell the kid explicitly what they're allowed to wear outside, to not bring shame on you and the entire family, once again putting the responsibility on the child to look 'cared for', while you do almost absolutely nothing to make it a reality.

Now you're having a child who is, out of deep-seated fear of you, acting politely and socialized in company, giving you ever chance to pretend that you care for them daily, while you're effectively living as if you didn't have a child at all. But maybe that's not enough for you. Maybe, you also want to use that child to earn money as well; after all, they're scared of you and will do as you say. You can put them up to any kind of labour and call it 'chores', and tell them you're just 'teaching them work habits', while they're doing your part of household chores, heavy physical labour, maybe even your job, if they're good at it.

But maybe this is not the area where you need assistance, but you're looking for a free, non-judgmental therapist who will be on your side completely and never dare to call you out or confront you - and voila, this child is so desperate to make any sort of connection to you, they'll carefully listen to all of your woes and trauma, even when it's deeply inappropriate for them to hear it, and they'll of course, be on your side as you're the only person in the story they care about, so you can cry to them as much as you want and even encourage them to fix you, to run around looking for ways to cheer you up, make your life easier to you, influence other people to give you what you want. And if they ever dare to stand up to you or defy you, you can just snap at them and call them something that makes their blood freeze in shock and they'll back down and become even more obedient.

Neat, isn't it? Not only you don't need to parent this child anymore, but you can draw any kind of benefit out of them, groom them into any kind of behaviour, extract physical and emotional labour from them, take their anger out of them, control their life so it benefits you and not them, all while convincing them it's their duty to give it to you.

As a result, you will be untouched by the chore of parenting, and your child will grow into a terrified, deeply insecure, always wondering why they're not enough, never feeling good enough, neglected but not aware of it, hyper-independent, ashamed, desperate, unloved, depressed, traumatized, engulfed by grief and loneliness, never understanding why their own parent didn't want them, care-deprived adult. Because it's all that effort, all that responding to child's needs, all that attention and care and warmth and energy put into a child, that is necessary for them to have proof that they're a worthwhile human being, that they're not only alive to be filled with emptiness and serve others.

But that's also why the abusive parents will never stop what they're doing. The benefits they get by abuse far outweigh the cost (the cost being the well being of their child, to them cost is zero), so they will not suddenly become willing to do the job of parenting, after they've spent so much time successfully avoiding it, and only put the energy into gaslighting the child into believing this is normal.

This is also why they put so much effort into making the child dependent on them, and sabotaging the potential escape - they're benefiting from having that child around, they're actively extracting what ever they want from this young person that they barely have to cover the living cost for, who doesn't know or understand how many of their human rights are being violated. There's truly no easier way to isolate, trap, groom, brainwash and then control a person.

#benefits of abuse #child abuse #abusive parents #why abusers do it #what do abusers gain by abusing #psychological abuse #emotional abuse #why do they do that #why abusers abuse #benefits of abusive behaviour #consequences of abuse

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cybertron-after-dark · 2 months

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I was gonna ask a question but i honestly forgot it 😅 so just tell me something you want to rant about

If you do happen to remember what you were gonna ask feel free to do so, do not worry about spamming my inbox bc I live for that shit.

As for the rant

Transformers Rescue Bots had some of the best, kindest, and most respectful representation of neurodivergence I have ever seen in media and I'm tired of pretending it didn't.

While there are obvious complaints to be made about neurodivergent traits (especially autistic traits) usually being portrayed in media by inhuman characters like aliens or robots, this being a case of both, I feel like thats a pretty negligible sin given just how human the show makes the robots feel. (Also it was like 2011 and we were STRUGGLING for any scraps of rep anyway)

But like. The behaviors all these robots exhibit are all shit that I do that was always deemed unacceptable when I was a kid and seeing it portrayed with the level of kindness and gentleness they do in that show has me fuckin crying a little man. I wish I had actually watched it when I was younger and it was first airing because maybe if I did I would've had an easier time explaining what the hell was going on with my brain a LOT sooner.

Blades being anxious, overly sensitive, and WHOLEHEARTEDLY queer (which they had the absolute unparalleled balls to just casually confirm by having him swoon over "hunky vampires" in one episode and NOBODY commented on it. Fucking iconic) and getting so so deeply invested in the shows and movies he loves that he acts out the roles with enough passion to steel his nerves and completely flourish.

Boulder getting really confused at concepts that are basic and intuitive for most people, but still being so fucking intelligent, and never being made to feel stupid for the mix-ups, as well as just being so wholely, unabashedly in love with the planet he's found himself on, even if he doesn't understand all of it (Also apologizing to inanimate objects when he knocks them over 😭)

Chase being obsessed with rules and law because he NEEDS the structure to not fall apart at the seams, even feeling the need to fabricate a minor crime to justify using the emergency line to get a hold of the firehouse when he can't find the other bots. As well as just fully not understanding comedy (BUT TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST), taking things super literally, and having a lot of trouble with tone and expressions (even though you know just how deeply he feels All The Time).

Heatwave being desperate for attention and recognition, but completely allergic to asking for it. And honestly allergic to showing any genuine emotional responses other than aggression. The constant sarcasm and sass and defensiveness that he POORLY maintains because everyone knows that underneath that tough guy front is the loneliest robot on earth that wants to be loved SO bad but would rather jump into unicron's mouth than voice it because if he lets his guard down who knows what will happen to him or the people he cares about.

Just. All of it man. Seeing them exhibiting all these behaviors and quirks that all too often get met with poor reactions from people who don't want to deal with what they don't really get, but here they're met with patience and understanding?? It's got me fucked up. They get to be functional adults that struggle with what they have going on but still push through. They get to have unconditionally loving relationships with people that treat them with respect. And that's the kind of shit that gives me a lot of hope for folks like me because maybe some neurotypical kids that watched it picked up on what's helpful when their friend who acts like one of the bots is going through it. And maybe some neurodivergent kids watched it too and for the first time they just felt SEEN.

Okay rant over, I'm gonna go cry over some plastic robots 👍

#post written while ugly sobbing a little #rescue bots was written with this complete and utter kindness baked into it #as much as i praise the show for the comedy and character aspects #which are still wonderful in their own right #it must not be understated how genuine and sweet and compassionate the writing is #the funny little flash animated robot show did more research than sia ever did with her shitshow hatecrime of a movie #maccadam #transformers #rescue bots

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cosmicjoke · 4 months

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Of course Levi has a selfless and compassionate side, but objectively speaking, I don't think the manga/anime emphasizes these qualities as much as some people are exaggerated. For example, in the manga, the garrison soldier they captured during the uprising arc says that he even killed people he shouldn't have killed (I think those people were servants idk)

Or like in the trost arc when he doesn't react to the deaths of all those people who died in the chase for the female titan. There's a scene in the uprising arc where Hitch talks about this genocide and sort of berates him and his corps, but Levi doesn't react to it. He values human life, but not enough to talk about it or to go on about it.

He characterizes people who are inferior to him, who are not of equal status, as weak. In the Shiganshina arc he says he hates weak people.

I think his role in the anime is more of a supporting weapon character than these actions. He's more of someone who stands out in battles and with his strength. And he can play a supporting role in some characters, including the main character.

This may sound like slander, but that's not my point. My point is that in some fandoms, people tend to exaggerate one aspect of their favorites and either don't acknowledge or ignore their flaws or make excuses for them. In the anime and in interviews, we see Levi touch upon his compassionate and selfless aspects. But he also sometimes exhibits cruel, reckless actions on some issues.

No, the manga and anime makes it expressly clear how much Levi cares.

Levi didn't kill anyone during the Uprising arc outside of Kenny's squad, who were first trying to kill him and his squad. Purely self-defense and purely justifiable. He only hurt the people at the military base where they captured the soldier from. They didn't kill anyone there. These are Levi's exact words:

"Unfortunately for you, they won't be coming to your rescue. Killing them would've been a bother, so they'll just be off their feet for the time being."

This, accompanied by panels showing Levi's squad taking the soldiers out, only injuring, not killing, them.

Levi reacted during Trost. What are you talking about? We see a close up of Levi when the shit hits the fan, his expression clearly troubled and his fists clenched at his sides. His fists clenching is plainly highlighted because the reader is meant to understand that he's upset. A clear expression of anxiety and frustration at not being able to help.

Hitch is talking about the people that died during the incident in Trost, not a "genocide", and Levi takes full responsibility for it, making no excuses for what happened. Hitch is shocked because she thought Levi would try to make excuses and deny any responsibility, because she thought he was heartless, but he didn't, because he cares and he's just as upset as she is. She didn't expect that.

Just because he doesn't blubber and cry outwardly doesn't mean he isn't feeling anything. He knows it's messed up and that it went sideways when it wasn't ever meant to, just like so many of the missions the SC conducts.

When he says he "hates weak people", he means he hates the situation. He's frustrated and upset. He hates that these people who have no experience fighting titans are on this mission with them, because their ranks have been so thinned out, and because of that, they're likely to get killed. You have to pay attention to Levi's actions, not his words. Levi is known for not being good at expressing what he means when he speaks. His actions are what's important. He works himself to the point of exhaustion trying to save those people you say he "hates" for being weak. Does that seem like something someone would do who doesn't care about their lives?

The problem is, you just aren't paying enough attention to Levi's character, and further, you don't understand his character. You seem to need it said and spelled out in literal terms in order to pick up on what's going on, which, if that's the case, this isn't the story for you. Levi's emotion isn't blaring and in your face. It's subtle, but still obvious if you simply pay attention. You see it in his actions and expressions. We aren't exaggerating Levi's compassion and kindness, you just don't want to or aren't able to acknowledge it because it isn't spoon fed to you and it doesn't fit with your preconceived notion of who Levi is. You need to pay more attention in order to understand Levi, because he's a complex character, not the one-note "weapon" that you want to define him as.

You talk about bias and not being able to see clearly as a result, but your own bias is pretty evident on this topic. You get basic facts wrong and then present them as "evidence" for your claim that Levi is reckless and cruel. It's just that you don't understand him as a character.

#Levi Ackerman #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin

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sassykattery · 8 months

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Dollface Pt. 1

In a world where magical objects sometimes end up in places they shouldn't be, sometimes even the most careful end up in precarious situations. This fic is "Dollface," a story about a particular demon falling into one of those very situations.

CW: The main character is afab, uses she/her pronouns. This story is meant to be somewhat curvy/plus-sized reader insert, but the main character is given a physical description, but it's not crucial to the story or mentioned often after Part 1.

Themes: Romance. Magic. Adventure.

Characters: Main Character. Diavolo, mention Barbatos.

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

Enjoy.

Masterlist

I suppose this is what I get for opening that cursed text, Diavolo thought. Barbatos is going to be quite cross with me when I get back... Whenever that will be at this rate.

While the Demon Lord, his butler, and the seven brothers were visiting the human world, Diavolo had heard of and found a magical artifact exhibit to see if there were any authentic pieces. Often times, when these exhibits took place, they were full of fakes. However, he still enjoyed looking through them nonetheless. He was intrigued by reading the tall tales that accompanied these items, amused by the stories humans would come up with. On occasion, there would be an authentic item left behind by a witch or careless demon that somehow ended up there, and he would work to bring it back to the Devildom.

However, he was distracted by a commotion down the hall, and when he accidentally touched this cursed book before inspecting it, opening it just slightly, he found himself motionless on the floor, staring up at the lights on the ceiling and unable to move.

Hm, now, how do I get out of this? Surely there's a way to undo it...

The prince then began to cite a spell in his mind but felt the buzzing sensation of being barred from completing it. This curse had locked his magic, leaving him unable to perform anything to help.

Damn, this is a strong curse. I wonder what I am–

"What an adorable doll! I think maybe a child or someone dropped this. We should take it to the front desk," a woman said, hovering over the prince.

A doll?

"Alright, but hurry up. We're going to be late if we don't leave in two minutes," a man said next to her.

The woman picked up Diavolo, her gentle hands holding onto his entire body. He merely watched as he took in her features as she peered down at him. She dropped him back down to her side and began walking away from where he was once standing.

Oh, I'm going to be sick. This is worse than some of the rides at Devil's Coast, he thought. Ah, I suppose I won't actually vomit now. Still, this is dizzying.

"Hi, I found this doll on the ground and wanted to know if a child was looking for it?" The woman said, stopping at the front desk of the exhibit.

"Not yet, but we can hang onto it just in case when the kid realizes it's gone," a man replied.

"Oh good, here," she said, handing the prince to the employee.

Diavolo looked to see a grouchy-looking older gentleman holding him now and was quickly thrown into a dark desk drawer with little decorum.

Well, now what?

---

This is definitely not good, Diavolo thought as he stared ahead at the envelope he was in.

About two weeks ago, he was taken to some adult woman's house, still unsure how he came to her possession, where he was given a tag around his back left leg, sealed in a plastic bag, and sat to wait in what seemed to be an office. He looked around at the other dolls, figures, and toys around him, wondering if they had met the same fate as him. It was unlikely, but at least he could look at a few of them, finding some entertainment in imagining what movies or games they were from.

Then, one day, the woman took him and placed him in what seemed to be a mailing envelope, along with a card he decided to read as entertainment while he spent two weeks being shipped to hell knew where. It was in another language, but some of it he could read, as it essentially said thank you for ordering this product.

Barbatos is going to kill me, he thought to himself at one point. It seems I have been purchased and being sent to someone else.

While he was loaded into airplanes, thrown into trucks, and passed from person to person in this envelope, he was coming up with ways to apologize to his butler and the brothers, no doubt thinking they were absolutely frantic looking for him. Surely, all eight of them will lock him up in his castle for an eternity to work on his paperwork for causing such a fiasco.

Finally, he had come to rest in one place for two days, and that's when he heard her voice for the first time.

"Hi there, I have a package I need to pick up. I'm not sure if you have it or if the postman took it," he heard a youthful feminine voice call out.

"Let me see... Yes, we have it! From out of the country– Japan, I see. How interesting," another older sounding feminine voice replied, picking up his envelope and carrying him a few feet before placing it on a surface.

"Yes! I'm very excited," she replied.

"Just sign here."

After a few moments, Diavolo was moving again as he heard a "Thank you so much!" in a highly cheerful voice.

As he was carried away, he could tell the envelope was being hugged tightly, as he wasn't moving too much and felt pressure around him, though he could tell they were walking. He heard what seemed like a car door unlock, and the two swung inside of it, the door shutting and an engine starting.

Suddenly, he could hear the envelope being torn open, and a hand reached in to carefully pull him in his plastic bag out. He was faced away from the person holding him, looking to see the black interior of the car he had been taken to, taking in the new scenery for the first time in weeks. The clear plastic wrap was peeled open, and he was carefully pulled out of it, seeing an ivory hand with black, sharp nails holding him. He was then turned around, and he saw for the first time who was now holding him, the first new face in weeks.

Oh.

"Hi there. You're so cute..." she murmured a greeting with a sweet smile on her lips. Her thumb ran across his body and hair.

Diavolo took her in as well. She was an adorable blonde with intricate makeup applied to her face. He saw her glittering purple lids with sharp black liner, beautiful lashes batting as she looked at him. He felt that he would be blushing if he actually could with how she inspected him so closely. Her eyes crinkled with adoration lacing her gaze, and he noticed her darling shadow blue eyes sparkling down at him. He also appreciated her full cheeks and round face. Her soft touch wasn't unnoticed either, how she gently caressed his form, even with her claw-like nails. Her lips held a soft shine to them, small in size but with a pouty lower lip and very muted pink in color, now curling into a charming smile.

Well, it could be worse.

"I'm so happy to have you..." she murmured again, holding his body gently in her palm as she continued to thumb over his hair. Her hand was warm, and her touch was careful, as if he was porcelain instead of a plush velvet doll. She turned him over a few times, carefully pulling on his garnet overcoat, before turning him to face her again.

Could be a lot worse. She seems nice, at least.

He was then placed on what seemed to be the seat next to her as she started buckling a seat belt and turning on some music in the car. It sounded like pop music, and from his seat in the car, he could easily see her, watching as she reversed the car and then drove off.

Their car ride lasted for a little while, and Diavolo had the privilege of listening to her sing to the radio and pick up what seemed to be her lunch.

This isn't so bad. She's a good driver, her voice is lovely, she seems sweet. Well, I guess this is better than the alternative while I wait for help.

When they reached their destination and the car stopped, he watched her eat a sandwich, switching radio stations to a orchestral one. After she was done, he saw her reach over to hold him again, and he was face to face with her once more.

"I'll just take you to class with me," she mumbled. "I don't want to leave you in the car."

Class?

After a few minutes, he was placed into what he saw to be a pink backpack, and he looked ahead to see a textbook, calculator, and some other items he didn't quite recognize. The zipper closed, and he felt them starting to walk again, followed by a car door shutting and a beep to lock it.

It was a few hours before she picked him up again. He sat through what sounded to be some physics and chemistry courses, and he was rather impressed with her. She answered questions like a pro, and he was rather curious to know more about her. He also overheard her conversations with others, like her professors and how friendly they were to each other. She was clearly studious and on top of things, sounding like a successful student, but he noticed how she always seemed uncertain, or rather, he realized, how anxious she seemed.

It was finally when they reached what he thought was her car again, that the bag was set down, and she opened it to pull him out. She seemed a little tired, some creases under her eyes now, but he was distracted when she put him in the front pocket of her jacket up high on her chest, facing out to see the world ahead.

Oh, this is lovely, I can finally see where we're going, he thought cheerfully.

She put on her seat belt, reversed out of the parking spot, and off they went again. He took in the scope of her world, watching the soccer fields, parks, buildings, and scenery that passed by. She started singing again, now listening to heavy metal, to his surprise.

An intriguing human. As sweet as she sounds and looks, she listens to music about rage and death, but still in her lilted and soft singing voice right in my ear. Now that I think about this, this is an excellent opportunity to learn more about humans.

After around fifteen minutes, Diavolo watched as they entered a residential neighborhood, small and large houses whirling by as she drove down the street. They pulled into an alley and then a driveway around the back of a house, the garage door opening as she straightened her car to pull in. After putting it in park, she got out and walked back to retrieve her backpack, close the garage door, and then walk inside the house.

He tried to take everything in as she walked inside the house. She walked down a dimly lit hallway, and then she made a turn to open the door. He looked out to see a turquoise room. There were black furnishings throughout, clothes strewn in a couple of places, and what seemed to be a vanity with makeup, lights, and mirrors on it.

The woman set her bag down on the floor near the door and started to take off her shoes and jacket, but not before taking the prince out of the pocket while she hung it up. She held him firmly but gently in her grasp as she walked around, and finally, she plopped down on her bed. Laying him on a pillow next to her head, he watched as she pulled out her phone and began scrolling through it.

Diavolo felt a little bad for looking, but he was at a point where he could easily see her phone, right next to her head, and he observed as she scrolled. He learned her name, figured out her age, a little bit about her interests, that she was a college student and caught a glimpse of what she was studying, and that she loved to write. It took him time to realize what she was doing as she opened an app and began typing quickly. From what he could read, she was a talented writer, clearly knowing how to illustrate feelings and showcase not only interesting but well thought out characters.

She suddenly yawned, clicking off her phone and rolling onto her side, facing him. Her eyes closed, and he looked at her in his peripheral.

She's even cute while she sleeps, he mused fondly. It's lovely to meet you.

After half an hour, she was up again, bringing her backpack over to the bed to pull out a laptop, tablet, and stylus. He watched her with interest as she played music from the laptop and began drawing.

Drawing, too? She has quite a few talents, it seems.

She looked over at the prince, tilting her head as if in thought.

"Maybe I should draw you sometime," she mused, turning back to what she was doing.

I'd like that.

---

Diavolo felt the human woman stir the next morning, and suddenly another light came on for about an hour, and she was out of sight for that long, until she came back and he realized she had put makeup on. He watched as she moved around, and suddenly, he was up in the air too, her small hand taking hold of him to place him in her pink backpack again. And thus began another day.

The prince listened to her music, her singing, the lectures she attended, which seemed vastly more challenging than the previous day with biochemistry and microbiology, and rode home once more. When they arrived home, they laid on her bed again while she scrolled through her phone.

She sure seems to lay in bed a lot.

"Ugh, my back," she groaned, rolling onto her side. From how he was laid up slightly against another pillow, he could fully look at her as she scrolled through her phone.

Well, that would explain it. Poor girl.

"Mm," she giggled wickedly, a naughty smile gracing her lips. Diavolo listened as she scrolled through many different videos over the next hour, her laughs and cackles like music to his ears. He watched her nearly cry with laughter, how her eyes and brows gave away so much of what she was thinking.

This was far better, he thought, than being locked away in some office or drawer, bored out of my mind.

Diavolo came to like this human woman. He enjoyed her company, even if she wasn't always directly talking to him. Her laugh and singing made him smile internally. The way she moved and spoke entranced him. They were somewhat like friends then, at least to him, as much as he was learning about her habits.

A friend. A human friend.

Though, it didn't take much to steer his thoughts away. He had been gone from the Devildom for quite some time, likely longest period yet without a way to contact everyone. Likely, Barbatos and the brothers were frantic to look for him, and here he was, a doll living with an adult woman who treated him like a beloved childhood toy, even after just a couple of days.

But maybe, just maybe, this wasn't so bad. He was learning so much about humans from this experience, and he could just relax while time ticked on. And if he had to spend this time with her until help arrived or the curse broke, then it wouldn't be so bad. She was sweet, good company, and rather loving. She was endearing. He was at the point where he wished he could talk back to her, desperately wanting to interact, to see how she would react to him in his full form.

Then it hit him. Would she like him? Would she be afraid of him? She was rather short, so maybe he would be too intimidating. He knew she was an anxious person, so what if he scared her? What if she wanted nothing to do with him?

Or would she enjoy him too? Would she let him get close? Could they touch? Would she like him gently caressing her as she had done to him? It felt a bit unfair how she could just hold, touch, or carry him as she pleased, when he wanted to do it and more to her as well. Would she want to kiss him? How would her lips feel? How do they taste? Maybe he was just curious about her, and his nature was getting the better of him. Or maybe, he could see himself getting to know her and finding there is more between them.

These thoughts and that many more plagued his mind as time passed, occupying him constantly.

Hear me, denizens of darkness, for this curse shall be broken in parts. First, the demon shall in perpetuity remain in motionlessness and silence until the beloved human shall retain affection for the doll and vice versa. For the love of a doll is to place one's emotions onto the doll. Once affection is reached and matained, may the effected demon be vocal in their returned affection. Second, should the effected demon hold these affections mutually, shall the two get closer. Let there be a forged fondness for one another. Only when the human may voice this fondness shall the doll be set free.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed.

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated.

Tags: @delphi-dreamin @itsmeninerz @flemmingbamse @attic-club-sandwich @bite-sized-devil @marvelous-maniac @themythicaldisaster

#obey me #obey me shall we date #sassywrites #sassystories #obey me fanfic #obey me diavolo #obey me smut #diavolo x femoc #diavolo smut

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dalchiid · 1 year

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 36

A story of obsession, fear, and lust. You're a maid whose Masters forbid you in meeting their guests for the night but your luck runs dry when you run into them and catch the attention of Lord Hoseok himself. He's smitten from the beginning and thus, your fate has been decided.

Pairing: Yandere Vampire Hoseok x Fem/AFAB Reader

Word Count: 6,660

Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Obsession, Possessive, Angst, Fear, Blood, Biting, Dub-Con, Eventual smut

Will add or remove warnings based on what's in each chapter.

I do not condone the behavior being exhibited in my work. This is solely for entertainment purposes and I hope if any of you are ever in a situation like this that you have the chance and ability to run away from it. Take care out there.

DO NOT copy, edit, or repost my work anywhere.

Chapter 36 Warnings: Yandere, Possessive, Obsession

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The rest of the time spent with Namjoon feels like a dream. Hearing his voice is soothing. His presence alone keeps you calm and collected. For a brief moment you were worried. Did what you two did earlier turn out to be wrong? As in what you two did - was it too fast in a relationship? Could you even call this a relationship? The idea of it all and the labels had you thinking hard but you think it's best to go with the flow. If you did anything more than that it would just ruin your mood and you didn't want to do that. Especially when the object of your desires was here in front of you.

You're so into Namjoon's voice as he reads that you don't realize Hoseok's appearance. He makes you jump when his hands land on your shoulders. When you look up and see that it's him you freeze before directing your eyes over to Namjoon who pauses his reading. He smiles at his brother before he dog ears the page he left off on and closes the book.

"Hey Hoseok."

"Hey." Your captor's response is stilted.

"I'm assuming it's dinner time." Namjoon sets aside the book before standing. "Should we go and head off now?"

The grip on your shoulders grows tighter for a moment before loosening a bit.

"Uh, you go on ahead. I have to talk to Y/N real quick."

You don't like the sound of that.

Your pleading eyes look up at Namjoon begging him to stay but you know there's nothing you can do to actually make him stay. Nothing as the opposite would just make Hoseok suspicious.

Namjoon gives you a long look before nodding with a smile. "I'll see you then."

He makes his way out leaving you with Hoseok and it makes you grimace.

Hoseok pulls out the seat next to you and sits on it but facing you. His hands move to grab your one where he holds it gently within his own.

"Hey," he says. "How are you feeling now?"

You sigh and so suddenly a weight pressures down onto your shoulders.

You don't answer Hoseok. Instead you look down at the table unseeing.

Hoseok lets out a sharp tsk but not out of annoyance. Instead he uses it as a way to begin talking.

"Earlier you really shut down on me. Don't think it didn't worry me because it did." He brings a hand up to pull your hair behind your ear. "It really worried me. I had a hard time working because I kept thinking about you. About what it is I might have done wrong and how I can fix it."

Your eyes still remain unseeing even as he brings your hand up to his lips.

"Baby," he says. "Please talk to me. Help me fix this."

Your nostrils flare as there's a subtle roll to your eyes. "The only way to fix this is to stop everything that you're doing."

Completely ignoring your words Hoseok blinks a few times before speaking. "Is this about last night?"

"Last night," you say. "Everything."

He huffs a little but he doesn't seem to be annoyed. Not entirely at least.

"Hey."

You take the chance to look up at him and see the worried frown that overtakes his face.

"Be honest with me please. Tell me what's on your mind right now."

Licking your lips you look down to his own and see how there's a slight pout to it. It would be endearing to you but after everything it's hard to feel that way.

Your eyes draw up to his own and your lips purse. He clearly looks worried and a part of you feels glad that he does.

Should you be honest with him? You should. You could but the question is will he listen to you? You could try, right?

You give a deep sigh before you turn slightly his way. "You controlled my mind last night."

He doesn't say anything. He just stares so you continue.

"I hate it when you do that."

Hoseok sits up straighter in his seat before slouching a little. His eyes shift all along your face before he looks down at your conjoined hands. He clearly wants to say something but you guess he's taking the time to formulate his answer.

When his lips part he takes in a quick breath before speaking.

"Do you know why I did it though?"

Your brows furrow. "Does it matter?"

He looks up at you. "Of course it does."

It's your turn to frown. "What matters is that you did it and it's not the first time. I hate it when you do it because you take everything from me when you do."

Hoseok clenches his teeth and flexes his jaw. You can see a building argument brewing in his eyes but he seems to be fighting to keep it at bay.

"Every time I did I had good reason to."

"Hoseok," you start. "There is no reason for you to do that to me." Your eyes water but it's out of frustration. "How can you say that and take my free will away? How can you say that with a straight face?"

He looks over towards the side with a sigh. He seems done with the conversation but you don't let up.

"Things would be a lot more different if you had never done it in the first place."

"So what do you want me to say?" He looks back at you clearly irritated. "That I'm sorry? Because I'm not."

You flinch at his words as if he'd punch you in the face.

"If I would have never done it you wouldn't be here with me now."

"Wow," you say. "I would say you're right but knowing you you would have found a way for me to be here either way."

He looks taken aback by your words. Was he not expecting you to bite back? You cried your heart out to him - to Namjoon. Was he expecting you to continue on helplessly? Of course you can cry but right now you needed him to hear you out. Before you find yourself crying again.

"Hoseok. I know you're different. You don't see things the way I do but-"

"Stop. Just stop."

You look at him incredulously. "Why? Why should I? Why can't you just hear me out?"

"Because!" His hold on your hand tightens momentarily and he has to calm himself down before he makes an even bigger show. "Like you said. I don't see things the way you do and with that in mind you'll never understand that everything I do it's to keep you protected and here in my arms. Do you know what would have happened last night if you would have said something about us? How many people that would have been in our business though they shouldn't be? Fucking hell Y/N. I know it's taking you some time to love me but don't be stupid. Don't make rash decisions unless you want to seek punishment over it."

Your mouth open and closes in silent shock. Do you hear yourself right now is what you want to ask but you know he does. He hears himself alright but he doesn't care. Or at least he does and because of that warped and twisted mind of his he thinks he's the one who's right in all of this.

"Seek punishment," you ask. "So what? Do you admit that controlling my mind is punishment? What about the other times you did it?"

"Oh come on, Y/N. Don't put words into my mouth."

"Then what do you mean, Hoseok? What do you mean?"

Hoseok closes his eyes and breathes heavily as he tries to calm himself down. It takes some time and with each aching minute that passes by your heart beat accelerates. You're anxiously waiting and when he's finally calm his eyes open again to look at you.

"Please stop making things difficult. Besides my family you're all I have and you mean the world to me. I wouldn't be here with you if it weren't because I love you. Why is it so hard for you to accept that?"

You face twists into a slight grimace at his words.

Why was it so hard for you to accept that? Other than the fact that it's because you don't love him. Obviously. It makes your blood boil but you feel like you're arguing with the wall because he's insistent on you just giving up and accepting him. You feel like you're in a losing game because no matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter how you act Hoseok will always be right and you will be wrong. It makes your stomach turn uncomfortably because you're left speechless.

There's not much you can come up with to say now. Why when he's going to make you sound like the biggest asshole. When he will just twist things around so you can see his way even when you don't want to. How has his family lived with him for so long knowing he's like this? How can they just allow it to happen? Up until now it seems like he's never had someone tell him no. If you're not including the one that got away. You wonder how she did it. You're almost tempted to ask but you know that will make you look suspicious. Maybe you'll ask Namjoon. If he knows.

Hoseok's hand comes up to caress your hair before he rests it behind your head. You feel his thumb swipe back and forth until it doesn't anymore and his eyes are deep with emotion. Emotion you wish he wouldn't direct at you.

"Can we stop arguing?" He asks you this and you feel yourself go limp.

Why argue with someone who never loses? Are you going to give up now?

You blink slowly. Your head grows empty. From ways to argue back with him to useless thoughts. You realize that to get back at him and win you'll have to wait and leave. That's the only way you'll win. Is if you manage to escape and keep him off your tail. For now you will be as placid as possible while he gives you all of himself. You will give bits of yourself up but not for him to control.

"Only if you promise not to control my mind again."

Hoseok inhales deeply as he sits back. He works his jaw and he visibly looks irritated. You're expecting him to say no because he looks like he will say it so you cut in before he can.

"If you can promise me that then I promise I'll tone it down with the aggression."

His brow raises in what you assume to be curiosity.

"You will?"

You nod your head.

His hand slowly comes down to rest on your lap where his fingers begin to play with your own.

He seems to be contemplating on his answer as he eyes you. You wonder if he's thinking if he can trust you. Can you trust yourself? No not really but you hope he doesn't feel the same way. For your sake.

His lips pout as he thinks some more before a small smile graces his face.

"I can do that. So long as you keep your promise."

You release a breath you didn't realize you had been holding.

On one hand you're disappointed because that means you will have to actively play nice with Hoseok but at the same time this means he won't take from you your free will. That meant a lot to you and so you nod your head in agreement with him.

"Words Y/N."

"I promise."

You bring up your pinky finger and it makes him smile. Your pinkies loop before your thumbs press into each other. It was childish but you take this as a solid promise between you two.

He brings your hand up to his lips where he kisses it before releasing you.

"Then let's head for dinner, yeah?"

You hum with a nod before you both stand up to leave. His arm wraps around your shoulders where he pulls you close to kiss the side of your head.

"So what were you and Namjoon up to?"

The image from earlier of you two tangled up in each other's arms comes to mind and it makes you smile.

"He was just reading to me. We're almost done the book."

"Yeah? That sounds nice."

Yeah, you think. You'll keep these memories with Namjoon close to you and hope you can make some more along the way.

When you enter the dining room you see almost everyone is there. Everyone excluding Taehyung and Jimin. You're not thrilled to see the latter and you hope he doesn't come by but you know he more than likely will be here to join you all. This is his house as much as it is his brothers'.

Your eyes lock with Namjoon's for a moment and he gives a barely there smile. You catch it and send one back but he looks away before he can see it. The action makes you frown a little but you have to remind yourself that you both are seeing each other in private. People know you meet one another but what ensues during these times everyone is unaware of. You have to keep it together and act nonchalant about it.

When you sit down you look at Yoongi whose lips stretch into a thin line. It's reminiscent of a smile and you don't know why but it makes you laugh.

"What," he asks.

"Nothing."

He frowns.

"Seriously it's nothing. It's just," you pause. "The smile you gave me. It was cute."

His brow raises and at first it seems like you must have said something wrong because he just stares at you but then you notice how his cheeks turn red. Was he embarrassed?

He wipes his nose before looking away. "Don't let Hoseok hear you say that."

You huff a laugh to which he smiles.

"You seem to be in better spirits."

You look across the table to see Seokjin is directing his comment towards you.

"You weren't really all there earlier. I'm assuming things are better now?"

Your eyes shift to Namjoon though it's brief before you look back at Seokjin.

Humming you rest your hands on the table. "Yeah things are a little better now."

His fingers dance across his bottom lip before he smiles. "I see." He brings his hand down to rest on his lap before smiling. "I assume Namjoon had something to do with that?"

Your face falls a little at the implications. He doesn't know about you and Namjoon right?

"I'm just saying." Seokjin interrupts your thoughts. "I assume it was because of Namjoon since I know you two went off to the library after breakfast."

"Oh," you say. Of course he doesn't know about you and Namjoon. Why were you so worried? "No yeah. I had some time to cool off with him so I'm better now."

Hoseok's hand comes up to massage the back of your neck. When you look at him he smiles like a man in love. It makes you feel a little sick but you have to remember you have a part to play. You made a promise and as much as you would love to go back on it - for your own sake - you can't.

Suddenly the door flies open and reveals Taehyung and Jimin who go to take their seats. You try to avoid making eye contact with the latter but it seems like there's no choice in the matter because just the slightest look his way and your eyes meet with his. His eyes grow into slits as he glares at you. His nostrils flare in clear annoyance and your eyes shift in discomfort. You nibble on your bottom lip as the air around you seems to stiffen just the slightest bit at Jimin's entrance and no one is doing anything about it.

"By all means." Jimin says as he takes his seat. "Continue talking. Pretend I'm not here."

Seokjin rolls his eyes.

"How are you today, Jimin?" Yoongi asks.

There isn't an immediate response. It's silent for a moment until Jimin hums questioningly.

"I'm sorry. Are you concerned about my wellbeing? That's a first."

Seokjin rolls his eyes again as he sighs. "Don't start again, Jimin."

The vampire in question scoffs. "Start what?"

"Are you seriously still upset?"

"What do you think, Seokjin?"

The oldest tongues his cheek as he tries to regulate his breathing. Jimin is working him up but he's trying his best not to let him get to him.

You're feeling uncomfortable because you know he can easily direct this at you again and you're hoping he doesn't.

When the air feels like it's about to simmer into something hotter the doors to the kitchen are opened and out comes the food. It silences everyone for a minute as the plates are placed before you. You thank the servant that presented you your food as he works to slip Yoongi his plate as well. You grab your utensils to begin eating but you feel like there are eyes on you. When you look up and around you see Jimin's eyes glaring daggers your way. You look away with a bite to your lip as you sigh.

You're trying not to let him get to you. You want to eat in peace. Reaching out you grab a bit of kimchi from the smaller bowl between you and Hoseok and add it to your rice. When you're about to eat it all together you're interrupted by Jimin.

"So. Y/N."

You slowly bring the food to your mouth and chew.

"What were you up to today?"

He doesn't sound the least bit interested and it makes the food you try to swallow down feel like sludge.

You look at Hoseok and you see he's glaring at his brother but he waits before pouncing.

Looking back at Jimin you shrug your shoulders. "I was at the library."

He gives a wry smile. "With Namjoon I'm sure."

"Jimin." Hoseok warns.

"What?" Jimin asks.

Your heart is in your throat and it makes the next bit of food even harder to swallow.

Don't let him get to you, you think. It's what he wants. So you grab your drink to take a sip and ignore where he's going with the topic of conversation.

"You're heart is beating a mile a minute and all I said was that I'm sure you were with Namjoon. Care to share with the people what's on your mind?"

"Jimin." Hoseok is starting to grow irritated and it shows in the way he says his brother's name.

"You protect her too much. Let her speak for herself."

"I'd say he doesn't protect her enough if you got to do what you did." Jungkook mumbles. His words aren't spoken low enough so you hear his comment and it makes you swallow deeply as you place your utensils down.

"Can we have just one dinner where everyone isn't snapping at each other?" Seokjin sounds exasperated.

"I wasn't snapping. Just stating the obvious." The youngest continues to mumble.

You take the chance to look at Jimin again before taking slow even breaths and with a calmness you didn't even know you had you answer him.

"Yeah I was with Namjoon. Nothing wrong about that is there?"

Jimin runs his tongue slowly over his lips and glares at you. He clearly wants to say something but he settles for a scoff instead.

"Yeah. I guess not."

Hoseok's hand finds your thigh and he squeezes it. When you look at him he gives you a smile before proudly looking his brother's way with a smirk. He seems pleased with you responding back the way you did but if he only knew Jimin was on to something... You try not to think about it.

"Now that that's over with." Namjoon was quiet all this time. Playing aloof before raising his brow. "Is there something else anyone wants to talk about?"

You look around the table and when no one says a word Seokjin lights up like something just hit him.

"You'll never believe what I heard about earlier today."

"Go on." Namjoon encourages.

"Apparently Hyun-Woo is in the hospital."

Your face slowly drops. Hyun-Woo? Not your Hyun-Woo, right?

"Is he now?" Jimin asks in a bored manner.

"Yep." Seokjin directs his sights onto you. "Word is going around that he stopped eating. He doesn't even want to feed off the maids. His brothers tried forcing him but that didn't work. It's apparent that some time after we left the Baek's he refused to eat. Their parents got involved and had him admitted to the hospital for it."

Your eyes don't know what to focus on as your breathing accelerates. "What," you ask. What was going on?

"I know you two were close. I wonder if it has anything to do with you, hm?" Seokjin smiles

You don't hear the way Hoseok clears his throat in irritation. Your mind is just focused on Hyun-Woo. Eyes beginning to water and hands starting to shake. Your appetite is no longer with you after hearing the news.

"Who," you try to speak. "Who told you this?"

"Word gets around. There isn't anyone who doesn't enjoy a good gossip." Seokjin says as he takes another bite of his food.

A good gossip? You would be affronted on Hyun-Woo's behalf but then you remember that this is Seokjin. Why would he actually care? Not even his brothers are safe from him.

Your attention slowly draws over to Hoseok. He looks annoyed by the news and when he feels your eyes he looks at you. His gaze softens at your distressed state before cursing under his breath.

"I'm sure he's fine, Y/N. Don't get worked up over it."

"If he was fine I'm sure he wouldn't be in the hospital."

"God damn it Jungkook. Read the room." Hoseok curses.

The youngest eyes open wide as he pouts. When he notices why Hoseok berated him his pout grows more.

"Just saying," he mumbles.

"Baby. Hey."

You didn't realize your attention drew away from Hoseok until he calls you back.

"Hyun-Woo is fine. Right, Seokjin?"

Seokjin hums questioningly. "Sure yeah. Whatever you say."

You blink a few times to try and stave off the tears that want to be shed.

Hyun-Woo stopped eating? He stopped feeding? Was it really because of you? Because you left? Your heart breaks for him and the need to see him overshadows any other need you have right now. You miss him so much and it breaks your heart that he's suffering.

"Can," you start speaking before you can fully form your thoughts. "Can we see him?"

"No." Hoseok's answer is immediate.

"But-"

"But nothing, Y/N. You should know better."

Your bottom lip trembles. "But I want to see him."

"Just send him flowers and call it a day." You can hear rather than see how Jimin rolls his eyes as he speaks.

"I don't know about that."

You all look at Seokjin.

"If he receives anything with Y/N's name on it he just might lose his mind. Well... more than he already has."

You think Seokjin might be right. Even visiting him might not be a good idea but you need to see him. You want him to know you're okay and that despite it all you do miss him.

Your eyes draw over to Hoseok and it seems like he knows what you're about to say because he gives you a look of disapproval.

"Hoseok please."

"No, Y/N. My word is final."

You grit your teeth as your nostrils flare. Your brows are furrowed in anger and a strong bite is about to come from you but Hoseok interrupts you.

"Remember what you promised."

That you would tone it down with the aggression. Yes, you know but this - Hyun-Woo meant something to you. Why couldn't he see that? Or he does see that and because of who he is he can't allow it. It makes you want to stomp your foot, cry, scream. Do something but you do nothing. You stare into your plate of food unseeing. You feel helpless and wish you could do something for Hyun-Woo. Anything to help get him back on his feet again.

"You could write him a letter."

Your eyes slowly draw up to Namjoon. He sends a concerned look your way and smiles something soft when you lock eyes with him.

"Let him know you're okay. Maybe it'll help."

The response makes Hoseok suck his teeth.

"Come on, Hoseok. It wouldn't kill for her to let the man know she's alright. She's here with you. You won already."

You hate the way he says it but he's right. Hoseok has won. For now. You'll find a way to win yourself. For both you and Namjoon.

Hoseok tongues his cheek before jutting his lips out into a pout as he thinks. He's clearly on the fence about this and one last long look your way makes him begin to fold.

"Fine, but don't give the man any false hopes. Just let him know that you're fine and for him to get it together. No more no less."

A sigh of relief leaves you as does a tear that slips between your lashes. "Okay."

Hoseok raises a hand to wipe your tear away. "Finish eating."

You nod your head and bring the food to your mouth almost instantly.

With Namjoon's help you managed to convince Hoseok to let you write to Hyun-Woo. You can't even begin to think of what you'll say. There's so much you'd like to but know you cannot. He said to let him know that you are okay. You can do that. You'll tell him as well that he has nothing to worry about. Though that's not entirely true you're willing to say anything just so Hyun-Woo can get better again.

It's weird how despite everything you and Hyun-Woo went through you still care deeply about him. Was it weird? You've known him for so long so even through the hardships caused because of Hoseok you still have a soft spot for him. He does mean a lot to you and if things were different you'd still have him in your life, but to settle for the reality of things. He's not in your life anymore and all you can settle for is a letter he may or may not reply back to.

What if he does reply back? What do you do then? You're not sure. You doubt Hoseok will allow for you two to continue writing to each other and now suddenly this makes you think. What happened with Sunmi? She said she would try to write to you but she hasn't? You wonder if it's because she's forgotten about you or if it's because Hyung-Won isn't allowing her. He seems like the type to do that. You wouldn't have guessed that before but then again did you really know your former Masters? No. No you didn't.

Everyone finishes dinner quickly and you're not surprised to see Jungkook still eating away at all that he's given. Yoongi is the first to be done and the first to go followed by Seokjin. Jimin doesn't linger around either and it leaves Jungkook alone with Taehyung as Namjoon accompanies you and Hoseok.

"Are you still busy with work?" Namjoon asks.

Hoseok stops in his tracks and brings you all to a halt in the hallway.

"Kind of? I just need to finish tying a few ends."

"Well if that's the case I can take Y/N again. Maybe help her with that letter."

You look up at him in surprise. "You will?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "Why not?"

Your captor grunts in mild irritation. "I'd rather read it before sending it out."

You frown because of course he'll look over it. He needs control over you no matter what.

"That's fine." Namjoon says before looking at you. "We'll head to my study so we can start on something."

You give him a grateful look before Hoseok tears your attention away from his brother to kiss your forehead.

"I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yeah." You nod your head.

He has no problem departing from you now. After the two of you "made up" he's a lot calmer. He's not as anxious. He may be annoyed with the Hyun-Woo business but at least he's not taking it out on you.

Namjoon places a hand on your lower back. "Come on. Let's get this done."

You follow along close to his side as he leads you to his study. It's not a far walk and you have to admit that you're a bit excited. Not just because you get to spend more time with him but because you get to visit a place close to him. You haven't been to his bedroom or study and wonder what they must be like. You have an answer as soon as you get there and are hit with a sweet aroma when he opens the door. You note immediately he has a diffuser on his desk. The sticks stick out of the bottle and release a pleasant smell as you look around.

Almost all his furniture is made out of wood. His desk, stands, and coffee table. It gives a home-like feel to everything but also an expensive one. Like you're walking around a museum. He even has paintings hanging on his walls and miniscule sculptures that you know must cost a fortune. And just like Hoseok he has a welcoming couch fitted across the room.

"Welcome to my study."

Your search around you comes to a pause as you look at Namjoon.

"It's not much but it's one of my safe havens."

You smile. "I like it. It's so much like you."

Something akin to a blush dusts his cheeks as he looks around.

You weren't saying it just to say it. It very much feels like him. You can feel everything that makes Namjoon him in this room. It's welcoming to you.

Before either of you can say something he extends his hand to the desk chair.

"Go ahead and sit. Let's get this letter going."

Smiling you take your seat and rest your elbows onto the desk.

You see that he has two monitors along with his computer set up onto the desk next to them. He pushes his keyboard and mouse slightly off to the side before procuring a paper and pen that he pulls out from one of his drawers.

"Do you have an idea on what to write?"

You bite your bottom lip as you try to think.

Yes and no. You try and rattle your brain for a few thoughts but you're left empty. Unsure of what to say. Unsure about what Hoseok would allow you to say.

You shrug your shoulders. "Kind of?"

"Run it by me."

Inhaling deeply you look up at him. "I just know I want to let him know things are okay and that I miss him."

Namjoon cringes. "I don't think Hoseok will like that last part."

You pout but you know he's right. You have to be very careful otherwise Hoseok will toss this letter into the trash.

"Well tell me about your relationship with him."

Your brows raise in question.

"I don't think you've ever told me," he says as he leans against the desk.

You look back down at the blank paper and sigh. "We were close once. He used to let me get away with a lot of things."

"Like?"

You shrug. "I could talk back to him if I wanted." You huff a laugh. "He preferred it. Said he wanted to be able to have a real conversation for once with someone he cared about."

"Did you care for him?"

You nod. "Even though I started as just a maid he'd feed from he wanted to have an actual relationship with me. More than just a friendship really but he respected my boundaries. Well, for the most part really."

Namjoom comes over to lean back onto his desk right next to you. "What do you mean by that?"

"What I mean is that things were okay for the most part until Hoseok came and ruined everything. Hyun-Woo started to grow terribly jealous. I mean he's always been a pretty jealous guy. He hated it if I smelled like anyone else. Especially if it were another male's scent. He said it's because when it's time to feed it turned him off but I know it was for something more. But when Hoseok came he changed completely. His frenzy was being triggered almost every night and his jealousy made him do stupid things."

Small pause.

"Did you ever help Hyun-Woo with his frenzy?"

You shake your head no vehemently. "No never. Even though he really wanted me to."

You think back to that night where he nearly lost control and bit you hard. You swear you can feel the phantom pain of the bite mark on your arm. It stayed scarred and you look down at it to see the way it seems to mock you.

"He did this?" Namjoon gently grabs your arm and runs his thumb over the scar.

You hum. "Yeah."

Namjoon sighs deeply before letting you go. "To be honest," he says. "It doesn't really sound like he was all that good to you."

You wince but he's right. You had your soft moments with Hyun-Woo but he treated you more like his property than anything else. The only difference to Hoseok is that he drew away from you when you wanted him to. Well, for the most part. At least before Hoseok made himself apparent.

"Sorry, Y/N. I-"

"No you're right. He wasn't all that good to me but I still cared for him. I saw a friend in him and it's why knowing what I know now about him breaks my heart."

Namjoon hums before drawing quiet.

The silence feels loud in your ears after talking so much. You don't know how it makes you feel other than being forlorn and a bit confused. You briefly wonder if the feelings you have for your former Master can be justified. After saying everything out loud to Namjoon it feels a little weird to say you actually care for Hyun-Woo. After everything you've been through with him? Yeah. After everything.

You breathe in deeply before releasing it into a long sigh. "Even though he probably doesn't deserve to hear from me I still want to write to him. Help give him some peace of mind so he can go back to living his life as he should."

You can feel Namjoon's eyes on you and when you look up to him his expression is unreadable. You wish you could know what he's thinking but it's not like you have the ability to do so so you just stare.

His eyes jump across your face until he nods and gives a barely there smile. "Then let's get to writing this letter."

You pass him a grateful smile before you look down at the paper and begin to write.

There's not a lot you can say. You know this so you're careful as you write.

Dear Hyun-Woo,

I hope this letter finds you. If you don't know it's me. Y/N. It's been a while since we've talked. It's been a while for a lot of things. I heard that you've been unwell and I'm so sorry about that. I think I know why you're sick but I won't mention it. I'm sure it's something you don't want to talk about.

I'm writing to you to let you know I'm okay. I'm not in danger or anything so there's no need to worry. I know writing to you isn't the same as actually hearing my voice but you have to trust me. You can trust me, right? I hope you can.

There's so much I wish I could tell you but now is not the time. Maybe another time? If you want to write back to me that is. After everything that has happened if you don't want to talk I understand. Just promise me one thing. Please get better. If not for yourself then for me. You have so many wonderful years ahead of you. You have a wonderful life to live. Don't let anyone, not even yourself, get in the way of that.

I hope this letter can bring you a bit of peace so you can heal. I'll be rooting for you Hyun-Woo.

Sincerely,

Y/N

It's not a long letter but you feel like you put a lot of your heart into it without revealing too much. Without telling him you miss him or anything that will get Hoseok on his bad side.

"You done?" Namjoon asks.

"Yeah."

"Let me see."

You pass him the letter and watch as he reads it. You bite your bottom lip nervously as you worry the pen in your hand. There are no expressions on Namjoon's face as he reads the letter and so your heart beat begins to beat erratically. Your eyes shift from left to right in nerves but before you can panic anymore Namjoon brings a hand down to rest over your own where he squeezes lightly to comfort you. Your breathing pattern and heart beat begins to regulate at the gesture as you welcome Namjoon's touch.

He nods softly before extending the letter back to you.

"This is good. Hoseok should have no problem with it."

You heave a sigh of relief. "I was worried it would be too much."

"No." He shakes his head. "You didn't reveal much so there's no problem. If he were to have a problem with anything it'll probably be the part where you wrote for him to get better for your sake but it's not bad. He'll get over it I'm sure."

You hope so. You don't know what else to write to help fill that area if Hoseok does have a problem with it but you'll trust in Namjoon's word. You'll trust him as you always do.

"Come here."

Your brows raise as you hum questioningly.

He extends his hand out for you to take and when you do he pulls you up and into his arms where you rest the side of your head on the middle of his chest. You can hear the dull sound of his heart beat and it forces you to close your eyes.

"Things will get better I'm sure," he says. "It's going to take time but it'll get better."

You don't know if he means that because of Hyun-Woo or for things in general. Either way you hum in agreement and wrap your arms around his waist.

He keeps you cocooned in his arms and places a gentle kiss onto the top of your head. You feel safe like this. Like you're out of harm's way. You take the chance to close your eyes and bask in everything that is Namjoon.

He made you realize that Hyun-Woo wasn't all that good of a person to you. You still care for him but you wonder what type of person that makes you. A good one? A delusional one? Namjoon doesn't seem to judge you for it so you guess it's not all that bad.

You hope the letter makes it through Hoseok when he goes to scrutinize it so you can send it as soon as possible. The sooner it gets to Hyun-Woo the sooner you hope he'd get better.

#bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts fic #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #hoseok x reader #yandere hoseok #yanderebts #btsfanfic #jhope #jung hoseok #hoseok #reader #fanfic #reader insert

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jackoshadows · 1 year

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Sorry to send you a sansa ask lol I was just wondering if you could help me out. I'm trying to understand why people say sansa is a literal child right now but they also want her to be queen in the end. Are they assuming we will have a big time skip? I mean, if she should be excused for being dumb because she is a child then why do they want her to be queen, wouldn't that make her situation worse?

Welcome to Schrodinger's Sansa!! It's an asoiaf fandom phenomenon where the character of Sansa Stark is simultaneously many things at the same time.

No, they are not expecting time skips. They are arguing that Sansa is simultaneously both very smart and also she's a little child unable to understand when adults tell her things.

Exhibit A:

Linking to this essay because it's often send to me in discussions about Sansa being very smart.

But there’s no reason the readership should share those views. Sansa is a very clever individual who makes increasingly good use of several skills she started the series with, and develops greatly as an observer and an actor over the course of the story.

Same person then writing about Sansa pushing the Maester to drug SweetRobin with the dangerous SweetSleep despite the Maester warning her that it has long term consequences for SweetRobin's health:

I’ve said before that I don’t think Maester Colemon is doing nearly enough to actually explain the problem with sweetsleep to Sansa, so I’ll have none of that either, thank you. She’s thirteen with no grounding in any sort of natural science whatsoever;

More broadly, do we expect thirteen-year-olds to be able to take full responsibility for another’s medical care? Do we expect them to have a sophisticated understanding of, say, heavy metal poisoning, or prescription drug abuse? Even with modern resources? Sansa, who cannot head off to wikipedia and start researching for herself, is in a situation where she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.

Sansa does not have wikipedia and therefore cannot double check on what a doctor is telling her about a drug is still one of the funniest things I have read on here about the character 🤣, right up there with Sansa being the 'embodiment of hope for the future' and 'flames coming off the side of the face' for a bnf when a blogger called out Sansa for bullying and mocking Arya's appearance.

Again, keep in mind that Maester Coleman is Westeros' version of a physician, a doctor who treats the sick. This doctor is telling Sansa all this in the text:

Give his lordship a cup of sweetmilk,” she told the maester. “That will stop him from shaking on the journey down.”

“He had a cup not three days past,” Colemon objected.

“And wanted another last night, which you refused him.”

“It was too soon. My lady, you do not understand. As I’ve told the Lord Protector, a pinch of sweetsleep will prevent the shaking, but it does not leave the flesh, and in time …”

I try, my lady, yet his fits grow ever more violent, and his blood is so thin I dare not leech him any more. Sweetsleep… you are certain he was not bleeding from the nose? I must speak to the Lord Protector. This feast… is that wise, I wonder, after the strain of the descent? Lord Robert mislikes strangers, you know that, and there will be drinking, noise… music. Music frightens him”

“This descent… my lady, it might be safest if I mixed his lordship some milk of the poppy.

And then when he gives her a final warning, she threatens him with Littlefinger because 'father and I have larger concerns' than SR's health and well being.

Very well.” They paused at the foot of the stairs. “But this must be the last. For half a year, or longer.”

“You had best take that up with the Lord Protector.” Maester Colemon cares only for the boy, though. Father and I have larger concerns” - Alayne, AFfC

This is what happens when fans self-insert and project onto a character and rely on fan made headcanons instead of actually interacting with the canonical text. They want her to be flawless, therefore she's a naive, innocent little baby. The same consideration is never afforded to the other children, even Arya who is two years younger to Sansa. And yet if one looks at their character endgames, Arya is always an assistant to Sansa, there to give her the information while clever Sansa puts together and uses the information to rule.

They want Ned Stark and Maester Coleman to explain stuff to Sansa like this for her to understand what they are telling her:

And yet she is also the smartest, most cleverest character in the series - smarter than Jon, Dany, Arya, Bran, Tyrion, LF etc.

One of the reasons for why we get so many of these bnfs thinking that 'Sansa Smart' will be queen/lady of WF and at the same time arguing that Sansa is naive/innocent/a little child is because they see her as this flawless symbol of kindness and compassion.

I already wrote about this here that in fandoms like asoiaf, virtues like compassion and kindness is seen through the lens of white, western liberalism and traditional femininity. I wrote that long ago and now with the rise of tradwives, it's even more relevant to this discussion.

It has always baffled me that the character trait most often highlighted in fandom for classist and sexist Sansa is kindness and compassion simply because fandom thinks that being polite and having good manners = being kind and compassionate.

This results in posts like this where they argue that Sansa is actually being kind to Jon Snow by treating him like a bastard when the author through Jon Snow is actually being critical of the character!!

Remember this is the quote from the books!

He missed his true brothers: little Rickon, bright eyes shining as he begged for a sweet; Robb, his rival and best friend and constant companion; Bran, stubborn and curious, always wanting to follow and join in whatever Jon and Robb were doing. He missed the girls too, even Sansa, who never called him anything but “my half brother” since she was old enough to understand what bastard meant. And Arya … he missed her even more than Robb, skinny little thing that she was, all scraped knees and tangled hair and torn clothes, so fierce and willful. - Jon, AGoT

We also have a bnf chiming in and agreeing that yes, Sansa was indeed being considerate of Jon's feelings here!

Even Jaime Lannister has had moments of kindness, where he tries to help Pia. And yet the only character in the series on whom these character traits are constantly pushed onto is Sansa Stark.

Sansa can actually be an interesting character if her fans let her be one. She's not a little child who does not understand what Ned and Maester Coleman tell her. She does understand and chooses to ignore it for her own selfish reasons - marrying Joffrey, whom she loved, and becoming queen or wanting LF's plans in the Vale to succeed. That's why she feels 'as wicked as Arya' when she goes and tattles all of Ned's plans to Cersei. That's why she thinks that while the Maester cared for the boy, she and LF had larger (more important) concerns.

Sansa is interesting in the way she deflects and refuses to acknowledge the unpleasant truths before her and lives in this alternate reality where everything is fine. She ignores Joff's sadism because it clashes with her idea of noble, beautiful princes. She ignores what is being done to poor SweetRobin because she thinks it is essential to her own survival that LF's plans succeed.

The reason her stans refuse to dig deeper into the character other than extremes of naive, innocent child and smartest character ever is because Sansa would then be as flawed as Jon, Arya, Dany, Bran etc. and they don't want that for her. They want her to be special in some way and this is it.

Arya killed the guard to survive - and she's portrayed as too damaged to ever live happily with her family. Jon and Dany face hard choices of doing the pragmatic or the morally right thing and are often called out on those choices, especially Dany. Pretty much most of our protagonists engage in morally grey actions.

And yet Sansa fans insist on her being this flawless character- it's everyone else' fault except hers. It's Ned's fault, it's Coleman's fault - they didn't explain properly. It's Arya's fault for trying to help Mycah, Arya should have tried to build a relationship with Sansa. Suddenly it's Sansa who is the outcast in Winterfell and Arya the favorite. Suddenly Sansa is Ned like and Arya 'bites people like Catelyn'.

This leads to her being interpreted as this idiot who cannot understand when a doctor is telling her a drug is dangerous. Which then clashes with their essays about 'Sansa Smart' and how she is going to be the best queen ever and change the system and bring about women's rights and all that.

It's the same with this 'pawn to player' stuff they write for the character. They expect her to be this smart player of the game and at the same time remain this good, idealistic, 'kind and compassionate' leader... How?! LF and Varys did not get to where they are by being good people. Sansa has to get her hands dirty, be ruthless and often times not be concerned about the well being of others - just as she does with poor SweetRobin. And yet her fans think she will become LF level of game player and do it while being kind.

Especially baffling because GRRM is deconstructing all these tropes of good knights and kind ladies. Brienne of Tarth is the embodiment of the perfect knight and yet she is not what one would expect a knight to be. This was part of Sansa's arc of growth - where she sees and experiences up close the brutality and lack of morals of these knights in KL.

The Northerners are loyal to Ned Stark, not because he was some beacon of kindness and compassion or because he had good manners and said please and thank you but because he ruled according to the laws of the land and enforced those laws in a just manner and was therefore an honorable Lord. He beheaded those who committed crimes, he put down rebellions, he took child hostages and he also kept the peace of the land.

And Ned Stark was as flawed as all the other characters. So this insistence that Sansa has to remain this caricature of 'kindness and compassion' - even if it's canonically untrue considering bigotry is not kind - is bizarre and one of the main reasons for why we have Schrodinger's Sansa. I can't wait to see all the excuses and justifications bnfs will come up with if we get TWoW and Sansa is doing all sorts of morally grey shite and going along with LF's plans.

#asks

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taem-min-archived2 · 1 year

Text

immortals || k.kb

PAIRING || Key x Female Reader

GENRES || Soulmate AU, Mystical AU, Angst

SUMMARY || Soul (noun): the spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal.

COLLAB || Part of the Eternally Yours: The Soulmate Exhibit collab by @sungbeam. Thank you for letting me take part in this collab! Check out the collab here!

WORD COUNT || 5.7k

A/N || Slight inspiration from ancient dreams and see you in my 19th life. Also thanks to @jaynaur for helping me get some inspo in these dry times.

TAGLIST || @shrutiajit @exoxobsession @woo-minhee02 @buttvi @vllxchor @stayinzencity @ahtisa02 @spacebyuns @midnightmoi @xavi-in-kpopland @fifty-shades-of-mischeif @whatudoing @justchuji @myluv-yeonjun @cara-18 @ongshimi @xuxibelle @yerimezzy @trashlord-007 (If you want to be added to my taglists, fill in this form)

A misty breath escaped her mouth as she sighed, the cold air clinging against her skin, no matter how much she pulled her drape closer to her body. Winter had begun earlier than usual this time, causing the days to feel much colder. The trees in her garden had already shed their leaves and neither were there any squirrels or birds lurking on them, enveloping her house in an empty silence.

But it was something she had gotten used to over the years. It was something she had to get used to. Somewhere down the street, she heard a group of children laugh, and a small smile tugged on her lips. It was nice to hear other people laugh and smile. It somehow bought a sense of calmness over her, which was something she rarely felt.

Living was painful for her, but so was death. Y/N honestly didn’t know which she dreaded more. She really wished this endless cycle of pain would stop but that would have been a very selfish move. Especially when she knew that they would be hurting.

A crash came from behind, jolting her from her reverie and she walked back into the house. Y/N found a broken cup on the floor and she glared at the teapot on the table.

“Sorry.” A wisp of smoke arose from it, partially taking the form of an old man. “You were out there too long. We were worried you would catch a cold.”

Y/N sighed, picking up the broomstick to sweep away the broken porcelain. “You could have called. And also, just because we figured out that this cup doesn’t have a soul doesn’t mean that we can break it.

“Sorry Y/N.” This time a young girl’s spirit from the vase spoke. “We did want to call but what if the neighbours heard us?”

“Still…” But their argument was right. After all, she was the only one who had discovered that objects had souls too. And for this truth, she had to pay a heavy price. A price that pained her both mentally and physically. A price of her soul.

In a world where lovers were connected by the string of fate, you were given a chance to find your soulmate throughout all your lives. Most people tried to find theirs within their given lifespans because not finding one had a heavy punishment: you remembered your previous life. And you kept on remembering all your lives, pain and happy memories until you found your soulmate.

Only a soulmate would be able to end the cycle of remembering. For Y/N, the hard part wasn’t finding a soulmate. Since everyone was always on the lookout of finding theirs, you were bound to find your soulmate in the given life itself. But the hard part for her was the fact that she didn’t have a soul.

“Should we get going for today?” Y/N asked, stuffing a piece of bread into her mouth as she hurriedly wore her apron and packed her tools into her bag. She tried sounding cheerful because she didn’t want the antiques in her house to be burdened by her sadness. She didn’t want them to blame themselves for her current state.

“Y/N, be careful out there!”

“Don’t forget to eat your lunch!”

“Don’t be back home too late, it gets darker earlier nowadays!”

“Don’t worry about me, I promise to take care of myself!” She yelled back as she dashed out of the house. Even if she never had a soulmate and had forgotten what it was to be loved by someone who wasn’t family, she was glad of these companions she had made.

Some of them had been with her since her very first life. Since she remembered every single life, she had always tried to collect the antiques she had lost in her previous life just so that they could be together for another lifetime.

By the time she had stepped out, it had begun snowing. The snow grew thicker by the time it was evening, slowing down business more than usual. Y/N had been mending a damaged clock when she heard the bells of the temple ring nine times, indicating the time. Suddenly, realising how late she was and how worried the spirits at her home would be, she hurriedly packed up her things and closed the shop.

The snow had begun falling more thickly and the road was completely covered in a white blanket. It was hard telling where the sidewalk ended or where the road started but Y/N kept towards the sides just in case. There weren’t many people at this hour nor were there many cars on the street. She hurried on, feeling apprehensive all of a sudden and pulled her cloak closer to her body, dismissing the feelings as cold.

Y/N turned towards an alley, pausing for a second at how dark it was. She wondered if she should just stick to the main road but deciding that she was already too late today, she continued walking. It was lonelier here, with almost no street lights or even houses in the vicinity. The feeling of foreboding grew in her heart and all of a sudden she froze.

Just as she had predicted, the sound of footsteps that had been following her for quite some time too stopped. Her eyes scanned her surroundings as she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

Y/N began walking away, this time with a much more quickened pace as she ignored how much colder she was feeling. It’s going to be okay. She thought to herself. The street is coming to an end. I can just-

She turned back just to make sure she wasn’t wrong and at the same time, the man ran towards her. A scream tore her throat as she stumbled back, slipping on the ice and falling down. Y/N saw a flash of silver in his hands and squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the stabbing pain but nothing came.

Instead, she heard the sound of knuckles hitting something hard, followed by a crash as though a body was thrown across the street. Slowly opening her eyes, Y/N saw another man standing in front of her with his back facing her and the person following her lying on the street. She looked up at him and at the same time, he turned towards her, their eyes meeting. She felt a shiver run up her spine as the man’s cold eyes flicked through her.

She had met people whose eyes didn’t hold any emotions, almost soulless like hers. But never had she seen someone whose eyes were so lively, almost looking like their coldness could burn through her skin. Y/N could nearly see flames dancing in his eyes. Somehow, that made her more scared and she inched away from him a little.

“Don’t worry. I’m not here to harm you.” He said. Extending his hands towards her, he looked at her expectantly. Y/N tried to think of what he might have wanted from her but seeing that he had saved her this once she had no other option but to accept his hand.

She had expected his hand to be cold just like his eyes but to her surprise, they were warm in a comforting way. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she felt a sense of familiarity but nothing came to her mind presently so she dismissed the feelings.

“Er, thank you.” She muttered, unable to meet his eyes. Something about his intense eyes seemed to scare her. “I’ll, uh, get going now.”

But as she was about to remove her hands from his, he tightened his grip on hers. She looked up at him in surprise and felt another shiver run down her spine. He was looking at her so lividly that she felt like it was her mistake he had gotten pulled into her mess.

“Oh no, you are not going anywhere. You have a lot of explaining to do Y/N.”

Y/N wasn’t sure what had gotten into her but here she was, standing beside the stranger as he cooked dinner in her house. At first, she was terrified of how he had come to know her name but then he explained a little and that’s how he ended up being invited to her house. He had asked for dinner as payment for saving her life but upon finding her house was practically empty, he had taken up the task to cook them dinner.

“So, um,” She began the conversation awkwardly, not sure what to ask. Judging from the way he was cooking, she figured that he must be a professional cook too. “Your name is Kibum and you are a soul collector?”

“That’s right.” He said, tossing the vegetables in the pan. His temper had cooled down by the time they had reached her house but he seemed to snap again when he found out she barely had food in her house. The only reason she began a conversation now again was because he seemed to have calmed down once more.

“And you…collect the souls of the dead?”

“That’s right.”

She already knew what a soul collector did but of course she had to pretend like she didn’t know. Most people eventually found their soulmates so even if they did remember what happened to them after their death, they would forget it after this life. But she remembered each and every single of her death, which was why dying was as painful as living for her. At least when she was alive she always had the antiques with her but in death, it was a cold, lonely and dark place.

“So…you’ve come to take my soul because I was supposed to be killed by that man today? Then why did you save me?” She now realised what that feeling of foreboding she was feeling. Even after all her deaths, she could never guess it on time.

The soul collector looked at her suspiciously. “You know an awful lot about this, don’t you?”

“Hahaha,” Y/N laughed nervously. “It’s just that-”

“Let’s cut to the chase shall we?” He interrupted her, placing the two plates on her dining table. He sat down and she followed suit, all of a sudden feeling scared. What if he had found out her secret? What was going to happen to her? What was going to happen to the antiques? She could feel the tension in the room but she didn't dare speak before Kibum did.

“Where’s your soulmate?”

“Oh, uh, he’s- he’s I haven’t met him yet actually” She lied. “I’ve tried searching-”

“Is that so?” He tilted his head and studied her, as though he already knew the truth but was just teasing her. For some reason, this made her angry and she looked up at him, forgetting all her anger. “Yes. I haven’t bothered to look for them. To be honest, I don’t want to look for them. There isn’t any problem with that, right?”

Kibum seemed taken aback by this response but he gained his composure almost immediately. “No, there isn’t a problem with that. But it does make soul collecting a bit difficult.”

“That isn’t my problem.” She said coldly. “Now if you excuse me, it would be better if you were on your way-”

“You don’t get it, do you?” He snapped all of a sudden, making her jolt back. Once again, she felt a sense of deja vu, like a distant memory she had forcibly forgotten. “There’s a huge problem if you don’t get a soulmate! It would have been fine if it was just one or two lives but I know that you haven’t had one for many lives! I’ve been noticing these abnormalities for quite some time and I'm sure it's just you being reborn. But here’s the main problem. You seem to remember even the period between each life. In other words, no soul collector comes to you when you die. Why do you think it's like that?”

Kibum was standing by now and peering at her angrily, causing Y/N to gulp in fear. How did he figure out so much? Did that mean all the soul collectors were after her now?

“I-I don’t know-” she stammered when he cut her again coldly.

“It’s because you don’t have a soul.”

She could only stare at him, hands clutching under the table as she held her breath in fear. What was going to happen to her now? What was going to happen to her antiques? Would she be punished now according to the laws of the soul?

“I’m sorry.” was all she could say.

“Sorry is not going to solve-”

“I know that okay?” She snapped, her voice rising. “You think I like the fact that I don’t have a soul? Do you know how hard it has been for me all these years? As though the loneliness wasn’t enough but the pain of remembering everything is just too much! There are so many things I want to forget and yet I- I-” Y/N felt her voice choke as tears brimmed her eyes.

Kibum looked at her as though he understood her pain. He stood up and cleared away their plates, turning his back to her. “You don’t need to explain to me now. Get some rest. We have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“What about you?”

He looked at her questioningly. “What about me?”

“Where are you going to sleep?”

He looked at her hurt and offended but Y/N could see the look of mischief underneath that facade. “Why, are you not going to let me sleep here?”

“Excuse me!”

“Sheesh, I’m just going to be in the living room. Don’t worry, I won’t creep into the bedroom. I have some manners. Unless…you want me to freeze to death in the backyard?”

“...Make yourself comfortable.”

“What does he even want?” Y/N muttered to herself angrily as she shovelled the snow from her front yard. “Why is he even here if he doesn’t even want to talk business yet?”

“He was so aggressive yesterday and yet today, he hasn’t spoken a word about it?” The porcelain vase beside her asked. She shook her head angrily before muttering once more. “I couldn’t even get a good night’s rest because of him.”

All night she had tossed and turned in her bed for two reasons. One being that Kibum apparently didn’t need any sleep. So he took this opportunity to ‘tidy’ her house. The whole night all she heard was the clattering and shuffling of things. Another reason she didn’t get a wink of sleep was because her mind was elsewhere. His words had reminded her once more of how lonely she was and she racked her brains hard trying to remember her first life. The faint feeling of being loved was lingering in the back of her head but no matter how hard she tried to remember, she couldn’t remember who it was, or if it was all just a part of her imagination.

“You are the owner of the house!” The vase whispered to her. His spirit was almost a thousand years old and she always listened to his advice. “You should be the one commanding him, not the other way around! How dare he go around threatening you!”

“That prick! I should-”

“Darling, why do you keep talking to yourself?”

“D-Darling?” She stuttered angrily, turning to glare at Kibum who was leaning against the door frame, smirking at her. “Who do you think-”

All of a sudden she felt the ground under her dissolve, the world growing dim around her. The air around her felt different, somehow warmer as though it was a different season. Y/N tried blinking to clear her sight but the world was still blurry and dizzy around her. She could faintly make out Kibum standing against the door, but now he was wearing different clothes, much ancient ones. His hair too was styled in a different way and he was smiling at her.

“Darling, why do you keep talking to yourself?” He repeated his question once more, even though it felt like he was talking to her underwater. But yet, she felt that this time the question was asked in a more teasing way, and she could hear the faint touch of affection in his voice.

Her mouth opened on her own and she heard herself repeat the same this time, but this time sounding more flustered than angry.

“D-Darling? Who do you think you are calling darling?”

“Darling?” His voice sounded clearer and this somehow jolted her back to reality. Everything around her cleared but Y/N could still feel her head spinning slightly. She looked at Kibum and expected him to have the same expression but instead, he was looking at her in shock. Judging by his expression, he too had just experienced what she had.

“What was that?” She asked angrily. If he was a soul collector he should be able to tell what had happened right now, right?

But Kibum only stared at her, his shocked expression slowly turning to that one of pain.

“Kibum?” Her anger died down a little and she took a step closer to him, only for him to stumble back. “W-Wait- Stop-” He looked like he had seen a ghost, and for some reason, that hurt her a bit, like it was her fault that he was like this. “I-I’m not sure but d-don’t come closer!” Saying that he dashed back into the room. She stood staring at his retreating figure for some time, before going back to her work.

No matter how much Y/N tried to wrap her head around this, she just couldn’t make sense of it more than the fact that it might have been one of her past lives. People barely remembered all the details of their current lives, so it wasn’t possible for her to remember each and everything unless it had affected her emotionally. She definitely didn’t remember anything from her first few lives except how she ended up in this repeated cycle.

Now that she thought of it, how was she sure that that was her first life? It could be that that was the first life she remembered. Maybe she had a soulmate in all her previous lives. She wondered who was her soulmate in her first life and what had happened to him. All of a sudden, a sickening thought came to her mind, one she had never thought of all the years she was alive. What had actually happened to her soulmate? Surely he was able to find another one, right? It couldn’t be possible that he too was roaming around without one, sharing her pain and burden of remembering his past lives, could he?

This very thought made her knees go weak and she sat down on her verandah. How could she have never thought of him even once? If anything had happened to him it was her fault.

All of a sudden, an idea popped into her head.

“Hey,” she said, speaking to the vase beside her. “Do you think soul collectors have a list of names from whom they collect souls or something?”

“I suppose so. Or else, how would they keep track of you not having a soulmate?”

“Do you think this is the right time to talk about something sensitive?”

“I would not suggest it. Given his prickly personality, he will probably lash out on you.”

She sighed, realising that the vase was right. But for some reason, she felt uncomfortable about leaving him just like that, when it was clear that he was shaken up by what he had seen. Was it because he was her guest and she couldn’t bear to leave him like that? Or was it the fact that for some reason he looked familiar to her?

Y/N trudged back into the house, wondering what she was going to say to him. She always thought soul collectors were gods, celestial beings that had never experienced any human emotions. But from seeing KIbum, she wondered how one ended up as a soul collector in the first place. Were they chosen? Or were some people just born to do it?

She found him sitting on the steps of her house, staring at her front door listlessly. Standing behind him, Y/N racked her head, trying to think of how she should approach him. She didn’t want to anger him more now that he knew her secret. But more importantly, she didn’t want to hurt him more.

“Is my back that beautiful?”

His cocky voice jolted her back to the present, throwing out the little pity she had felt for him. Rolling her eyes, she sat down beside him, looking at him expectantly. He sighed and looked at her questioningly, as though asking what.

He looked like his usual self, not even a trace of sadness even in his eyes. It was as though the hurt person she had seen a few minutes before was just a figment of her imagination.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

Kibum looked at her like she was asking an obvious question. She resisted the urge to get up and storm away from him. “Of course I am. Why shouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, you didn’t look alright a few minutes before. You looked…hurt.”

At this he scoffed, turning his face away from her. “Soul collectors don’t feel emotions. I can’t feel hurt.”

Even though he stressed on the can’t, to her it sounded like he was just shutting out his feelings no matter what. Sunlight was directly falling on his eyes now and you were squinting against it. She sighed in exasperation and gently turned his shoulders towards her.

“Don’t face the sun-” All of a sudden Y/N realised how close they were. She was still holding his shoulders and his face was just inches away from her. From this up close, she could see his pale skin and the slight flush his pale cheeks had. His eyes flicked over her face in surprise and she felt heat rush up her cheeks. She let him go and turned away a little, feeling as flustered as him.

“So- um-” She stuttered, trying to change the subject with whatever came into her mind. “Do you like flowers?”

“F-flowers? Yeah, I like- I like flowersuns. I-I mean sunflowers. Yeah I like them a lot.” He looked at her surprised, his expression more scared than relieved for the change of topic. His usually cool demeanour seemed to be completely gone now that he stumbled upon his own words. For some reason she found it funny and a giggle escaped her mouth.

“W-what? Why are you laughing?” He whined, and that made her crack into laughter even more.

“I don’t know.” She said, “It's just…very funny seeing you so flustered.”

He glared at her and muttered a ‘I hate you’. She smiled at him, feeling all the tension that had built previously disappear. The corners of his lip too curled up to a smile and she realised how beautiful he was. With the sunlight falling on his face lightly, Kibum looked almost godlike and it made her wonder whether good looks came with the soul collectors package. Again, the strong sense of familiarity enveloped her but this time she ignored it, choosing to enjoy the comfortable silence between them.

“I've made dinner for us.” Kibum announced, like it was a daily routine he followed. He moved towards the kitchen just as Y/N came in through the living room.

“You are still here?” Y/N asked jokingly as she took off her coat and hung it on the coat stand. It had been snowing heavily today too but she didn’t make the mistake of staying out late at night like she had yesterday. Kibum had indirectly threatened her that if she ended up dying before he got to question her, he would personally haunt her. Though, she pointed out, it would have been the other way around since she was the one who was dead.

“Of course. I still didn’t question you.” He said, placing the dishes on the table. She looked at all the dishes he made impressively. She didn’t cook much usually since she never had a proper appetite, but somehow the smell of his food made her feel hungry, as though she hadn’t eaten in a long time.

“Do you like it?” She looked up at him and he was smirking at her, but she nodded happily. “It's been a long time since I had good food. Somewhere down the line, I just lost interest you know…” her voice trailed off but Kibum nodded.

“I understand. Being immortal…isn’t all that glamorous as people paint it to be. Soon even the smallest things that give you pleasure too feel like a burden.”

She stared at him. For the first time in all her lives, she felt understood. Y/N clutched the chair hard, feeling as though she had just lifted a huge rock off her chest. Of course Kibum could relate to her. Being a soul collector must have been painful for him too.

“Shall we?” He asked, motioning to her chair. She nodded and sat down, picking up a spoon to decide on what to try first.

“So do you eat such good food on a regular basis?” She asked.

“Of course not. But I do enjoy cooking sometimes for my guests.”

“Guests?”

“Yes of course. You didn’t think that soul collectors can’t have friends, did you?”

“No I didn’t. But given your personality I just wondered-”

“Hey!”

She laughed before smiling at him apologetically. It had been a really long time since she had an interaction like this and somehow this was making her giddy and light. When was the last time she had talked to someone so freely, laughed like this or even smiled at? Over the years she had slowly shut out people. Maybe this was why Kibum had said he couldn’t feel emotions? Because of the burden of remembering rather than because he was a soul collector?

Shaking off these heavy thoughts from her mind, Y/N turned her attention back to her food, still unable to choose which food to start with. Kibum chuckled at her indecisiveness and picked up her bowl, placing a little of everything in it.

“Sheesh how have you been living on your own if you can’t even take care of yourself?”

“Don’t put any cucumb-”

“I know.”

“Huh?” The two of them looked at each other in confusion. How had he known that she didn’t like cucumbers?

For the second time that day, she felt the world swim around her. Once again, it felt like she had travelled back in time, but in the exact same setting.

“You are such a baby, you know.” She heard Kibum say, his annoyed voice sounding afar. And yet, he picked out all the cucumbers from her dish and placed it in his, smiling at her softly.

This time she jolted back to present almost immediately, feeling nauseous from the memory. Now she was sure they had met in some life, but judging how lovingly he had looked at her and how her past self responded back, she was suspicious that it was her first life.

Then did she actually have a soulmate? Kibum looked ghastly, cold sweat dripped all over his face and Y/N felt her heart twist in pain.

“Kibum?” She whispered. “Are you okay?”

He shut his eyes tight, as though trying to forget what he had just seen. Slowly, she got up and walked to the other side of the table, sitting down beside him. Then gently putting a hand on his shoulder, she softly asked him once again. “Kibum? Is something wrong?”

She heard him take a shaky breath and she froze. Was he crying?

“Why did you do that?” He asked, causing her to be taken aback. What was he talking about?

“Are you talking about the memories? I don’t know-”

“I meant,” he asked, turning towards her. Tears were running down his cheeks and she felt a familiar stabbing pain, one she had forgotten long ago. “I meant why did you leave me?”

“Leave-”

And it was as though he had asked a magical question because all of a sudden memories of her first life came flooding back into her head.

“Wait for me!”

Y/N turned towards the voice chasing her, laughing at his annoyed face as he stumbled to catch up with her. She had been running across the field for quite some time, and he had been chasing her, despite complaining of how he didn’t care much of where she wandered off to.

“What is it? You are pretty slow, you know?”

“You are too fast. I’m not slow.” Kibum huffed as he caught up with her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down, sitting to catch his breath. She let out a laugh and edged closer to him, giving their entwined hands a squeeze. His annoyed face broke into a smile, before he quickly leaned in to give her a peck on the lips.

“H-Hey!” Y/N stuttered, heat rushing up to her cheeks. “You can’t do that! You should at least give me a warning.” She muttered, fingers lightly grazing her lips, still able to feel the tingle as his lips had grazed against hers.

Kibum laughed once more. “Fine, I’ll warn you next time, okay darling?” The pet name caused her to flush more furiously and Kibum took it as a yes. Slowly, he leaned in, his eyes never leaving hers. She stared back at him, unable to look away. He looked so beautiful that she felt that her heart was going to pop out of her chest any moment now. She was sure even he could hear her heart hammering. Unable to control the excitement she was feeling right now, Y/N shut her eyes. She felt his soft lips graze against hers, and before she could stop herself, she kissed him back.

It definitely wasn’t their first kiss, but each time they kissed, it felt like a whole new feeling for her, as though she was falling in love with him again. She gripped on his shoulder, as his hands cradled her face, bringing her even more close than they already were.

Finally, they ran out of breath and broke apart, foreheads still touching as they gasped to catch their breaths.

“Hey.” She whispered, and Kibum smiled at her softly, asking her to go on. “Do you think I’ll be able to find you in our next life too?”

“Why?” He asked, raising an eyebrow jokingly. “Already tired of me?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, snuggling into his body. He too wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. His scent had always been comforting to her and right now this was the place she felt the most loved.

“I want to be yours forever.”

“Me too. I love you so much. Promise me you’ll never leave me.”

“I promise you. I love you, Kibum.”

“You promised me.” Kibum sobbed, clutching her hands as though begging her to look at him. But no matter what, she just couldn’t look up to meet his eyes. The guilt she was feeling right now was just too much. Just because she had sold her soul, he had ended up as a soul collector. He had to suffer just because of her.

“Y/N, darling, please just look at me.” His now familiar warm hands gently cradled her face, lifting it up so that their eyes met. Seeing his teary ones made her heart give a crushing squeeze, as tears flowed from hers too now.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Kibum. I never knew-”

He cut her off by pulling her into a tight hug. She clutched his arms, as though afraid that he would leave her if she let him go. “I’m sorry Kibum. I never knew it would be like this.” Y/N sobbed. “You have every right to be mad at me-”

“Stop, okay? Just stop. I searched for you all these years but I never knew-”

“It hurt, didn’t it?” She broke away from his embrace and asked, looking at his shining eyes. “It hurt living all these years, didn’t it? This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.”

Kibum brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping her tears. “But it hurt for you too didn’t it? Giving up your soul like that. What were you even thinking?” He whispered harshly. “W-Why don’t you think of yourself before others-”

“No. I didn’t think of you. I never thought of your pain or what you might have to face. I only thought of the antiques I used to mend-”

“You are wrong.” He interrupted her. “You knew the consequences you might have to face and yet you gave up your soul. If that isn’t selfless, then I don’t know what is. I’m sorry it took me so many years to find you. It must have hurt living like that.”

“Why are you apologising?” She could feel her voice cracking again. “You did nothing wrong. It's all my fault. I should have talked to you before making such rash decisions.”

“Then make up for it. Make up for all the years we lost.”

She blinked at him in surprise. Y/N just couldn’t understand how he had forgiven her so easily, despite what she had made him go through. But after all, that was love, wasn’t it? Even after all these years she could feel her heart beating for his, as though their souls were one.

Then slowly, she leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss against his lips. His hand ran through her hair, tugging her closer. She felt a spark in her heart and it felt like the world that had once looked bleak to her had its colour returning back. He tasted salty and yet comforting.

“I’ll make it up to you.” She whispered against his lips, feeling him smile. “After all, we are immortal.”

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

#eternally yours collab #╼ 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 ↺ ❝ 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐑𝐇𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐌 ❞ ღ 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒 ⇝ 𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐒 #kwritersworldnet #wkcnet #prism.nw #key x reader #kibum x reader #shinee key x reader #shinee x reader #kim kibum x reader #key angst #shinee key

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greatwesternway · 16 days

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What do engines enjoy doing? I assume that being Useful is at the top of the list, but are there things they like participating in during their off time?

Engines mostly enjoy sitting around and chatting with each other. This is what they did in their downtime during their service lives and it's what they do in their respective yards at their museums now. 999 especially likes a good gossip session. Between her, Pioneer, and U-505, they have enough stories to tell over and over that they never get dull.

In our next year of letters, Pioneer does start developing an interest in what goes on indoors at the MSI. This is mostly for Pilot's benefit (and because Pioneer's yard doesn't change enough on its own to match the amount of stuff Pilot relates about the IRM's doings), but it ultimately makes him better at his job if he can recommend something for a visitor to see when they go back inside. So being Useful, yes.

U-505 and Pilot both have a bit of affinity for learning new vocabulary. Pilot does it because it endears him to Venus (the source of most of his big words) and makes him feel a little less like a hayseed compared to Pioneer, whose service life involved a lot of standing there while people waxed poetic about him in speeches. U-505 does it because his guides think it's funny (and the steam engines do not!), so he's willing to indulge them in the joke.

Humanized engines have a bit more latitude, obviously, but the vast majority of them don't really pick up hobbies or anything. Ray mentioned disc golf at the IRM, but that's a minority of engines who'd participate. There's some passive interest in following people sports. Pioneer and Pilot keep track of baseball, if only because it was brought to their attention that they were supposed to like different teams based on where they live. But again, this goes back to just doing things because people like it. Do they really care about baseball? Not really, but they wear the colors when asked and keep current on the scores.

Most of the rest of the IRM's engines are content to chill in their berths and shoot the shit with each other or nap. 2903 is big (oi oi oi) on napping.

In the 90's, when Pilot starts having offsite excursions and 2903 is moved to the IRM, our engines also start visiting each others' museums. Mostly to actually visit each other, but also it's just fun to see each other working and get a taste of a different venue. Pioneer's and Pilot's work duties are similar in a lot of ways and yet very different. The atmosphere of the museums and the expectation the guests have respectively change the way both of them approach the job. But you never know if you might learn something you can take back to your own museum.

Engines - though they don't need to - will eat for fun. This pastime is a lot more popular at the MSI than the IRM (iykyk), but IRM engines have been known to enjoy sodas together. It's also almost never done alone because the eating is obviously not the point; it's a social activity.

Most of the MSI's engines also like watching films in the Dome Theater. They'll watch whatever is playing, but the nature documentaries tend to get the most repeated viewings. Aside from seeing amazing shit in a panoramic view, this activity is also nice because it's a break from constantly talking to each other.

MSI engines enjoy visiting the museum's other exhibits and learning the same things the people do too. There's so much more than just the engines themselves there (which is why this is not really done at the IRM) and while most engines are not really curious about things, the MSI is inviting in a way that even engines who have lived there for decades can't help be drawn in. You could live there that long and still find new things to appreciate about the Jollyball or the Fairy Castle, for instance. Certain planes still haven't found all the hidden objects in the I Spy exhibit (but only because certain planes have no patience or attention span).

#oc pioneer zephyr #oc silver pilot #oc u-505 #oc atsf 2903 #oc new york and hudson 999 #the future is still silver and black

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onthedriftinthetardis · 8 months

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What should you do if you find an artifact (arrowhead, pottery shard, etc.), on US public lands?

This is a departure for me, but I recently saw a post here that suggested that if you found an artifact from the 1800s on federal land, you should take it to a museum.

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!

If you find an artifact on public land, like a national park, please don't move it! Report its exact location to the agency that manages the land, like for a National Park, find the nearest park ranger.

Why?

Any time an artifact is moved, or removed, from its location, valuable information about that object is lost. Even if the object is returned, the context is destroyed.

Also, this is illegal, and most museums cannot accept artifacts collected illegally, i.e. on public land without a permit.

How do you know?

I studied anthropology & archeology in college, and then museum studies in grad school, so I'm fairly familiar with the major issues and US laws in question.

From the 1906 Antiquities Act which, among other things, first established penalties for removing objects from public lands, to the Native American Graves Protection & Repatriation Act, passed in 1990, which deals with the "repatriation and disposition of certain Native American human remains, funerary objects, sacred objects, and objects of cultural patrimony," US laws have increasingly provided care for natural and cultural objects found on federal land. (Laws concerning natural objects is a whole other subject, and mostly depends on which agency controls the land.)

This is a good thing! So, first of all:

What is an artifact?

Generally speaking, artifacts are things that people in the past made, purchased, collected, or left behind at archeological sites. Sometimes they're objects like arrowheads, but they can be more subtle traces of humanity, like bricks or wood from an ancient house. They might only be a few decades old, or they might be thousands of years old. (In other parts of the world, they may be hundreds of thousands of years old or older!)

What should you do if you find an artifact on public land in the US, including national parks, forests, BLM land, state parks, etc.?

Leave the artifact where you found it. Please don't pick it up, move it, throw it, put it in your pocket or your bag, or bury it.

Note & record your exact location. Snap a picture of the artifact where you found it. Step back and photograph the artifact with a landmark. Please don't post them on social media. (If you take a photo with a recent cell phone, it will automatically record the GPS coordinates if you have location services turned on. This information can be extracted from the original photo file.)

Report what you found. Show a park ranger your pictures and the location of the artifact. If you cannot find a ranger, or you're not on park service land, you can email your photos and findings to the Archeology or Cultural Resources division of the land's governing body. If you're not sure where to turn, I'd email your State Archeologist (Google your state + "office of state archeology") and ask for help.

The agency in charge will appoint an archeologist to properly investigate the site, conduct any necessary fieldwork, and recover and curate the artifacts (or convey them to a museum or other approved repository). Artifacts generally then become available to researchers for study, and sometimes for display in public exhibits.

More about what archeologists do

#archeology #ancient artifacts #cultural artifacts #national parks #national monuments #national forests #BLM lands #US laws #united states #I'm not very familiar with laws in other countries #but I know many have similar laws #museums #thanks for coming to my TED talk #history museums #natural history museums

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alynnl · 7 months

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I did another gameplay marathon and cleared TGAAC 2-3 and I was absolutely blown away by it.

Needless to say, this case has completely shattered the myth of Third Case Syndrome for me.

Let's dive into what (or who) made the largest impression on me.

Barok van Zieks. Up until now, his past was shrouded in mystery, and he appears to be the typical rival prosecutor who wants to poke holes in the defense's arguments and be extremely rude the whole time doing it.

But this case is different for Van Zieks. Because his friend Albert Harebrayne is accused of murder. He meets the accused before the trial, which is something he's never done before. And during that trial, Van Zieks believes in Albert's scientific theory. And it's not a ploy. He truly sees his old friend from university as a man of science and refuses to discredit him.

Even when the trial goes completely off the rails and Albert ends up confessing to the crime in question (just for one more chance to prove his hypothesis is correct), Van Zieks doesn't appeal to the jury and ask them to call for a guilty verdict. He patiently waits for Ryunosuke and Susato to talk him down, then asks for Professor Harebrayne to tell the truth about the machine.

During the investigation, Van Zieks cooperates with Ryunosuke in a limited way, giving him a photograph of the engineer, Enoch Drebber. The fact that he even opens up to him at all is huge. He even asks about Soseki which was even more unexpected!

The third phase of the trial has Van Zieks appearing like he's his usual aggressive self (countering nearly all of Ryunosuke's arguments) but something curious happens when the judge calls for a summation examination. Van Zieks doesn't object. He doesn't even comment on how it's a waste of time. He takes a step back in a sense and just lets it happen.

And when Enoch Drebber and Doctor Sithe are finally brought to the stand, he openly cooperates with Ryunosuke. They both do what they can to find the truth: about the murder at the Great Exhibition as well as the incident at the graveyard ten years ago.

When Drebber is sure he's been had, he takes his anger out on Albert, who's been proven to be innocent in all of this and makes a remark about his lack of talent.

And when those comments get to Professor Harebrayne, it's Van Zieks who speaks up to comfort him. "(Your efforts) are not laughable, they are laudable." Barok showed kindness and mercy, when he rarely showed either one in past cases. He clearly still cares for Albert and "would have trusted no one else to be the prosecution in this case...or the defense."

Van Zieks comes so close to outright saying he respects Ryunosuke! I certainly never expected that from him unless the situation was truly desperate and Ryunosuke was his only hope, sort of thing.

Barok then proves to be (over)protective of Albert by having immediate arrangements for him to leave Britain for Germany, to keep him away from the whole Reaper's Curse Conspiracy (that's what I'm calling it now!) It makes their reunion quite bittersweet, but it shows that Van Zieks is still only human and cares about others.

But the surprises, like the chapter/case itself don't stop there.

Even though he's not required to tell him anything about what happened ten years ago, Van Zieks willingly shares details of his past. He talks about who his brother Klint was, and how he met people from other countries who came to study British law when he was (from what I understand) Chief Prosecutor. Then he revealed face behind the iron mask of The Professor's waxwork head. I figured this serial killer was of Japanese origin given Van Zieks's distrust of all Japanese people.

But what I didn't expect was for it to be Kazuma Asogi'a father. And for the then masked, amnesiac Kazuma to recognize it and recover his memory, as well as reveal his own face!

So while it's a brief, happy reunion between Kazuma, Ryunosuke, and Susato, I can't help but imagine Van Zieks's sense of dread.

All this time, this mysterious young man without a memory who he took as an apprentice is the son of his brother's alleged killer.

I say "alleged" now because...given the revelation that Dr. Sithe forged The Professor's autopsy report, Mr. Asogi might have been wrongly convicted.

It's also still equally possible that Mr. Asogi was a killer, and Kazuma will have to face a hard truth.

As a narrative, Chronicles case 2-3 functions more like a typical fourth case in other games with a total of 5 cases/chapters - where you unlock secrets that will be important in the finale, that involves solving a decades-old cold case or blowing the whistle on a massive cover-up. It's the rising action to what will probably be a very exciting climax. And I can't wait to see where it leads!

As it stands, I have my own predictions for Chronicles 2-4 and 2-5. Since I'm going in with minimal to no spoilers, it will be interesting if any of these are true...

Yujin Mikotoba and Herlock Sholmes know about the incident ten years ago. That's their big secret they're hiding. It's possible they are in collaboration to prevent the wrong secrets going into the wrong hands, even if it means keeping it from Susato, Iris and Ryunosuke.

Barok Van Zieks will get arrested and it will all be a setup. Kazuma will prosecute him. It’s possible that Ryunosuke might have to stop his best friend from using the trial as a means to get revenge. He'll have to persuade him to work together for the truth.

Mr. Asogi will be exonerated in death and the real culprit behind that case will be uncovered

The true mastermind(s) behind the Professor case and the one(s) carrying out the Reaper’s Curse Conspiracy are the same - similar to Blaise Debeste and his Worsties, Patricia Roland and the Zheng Fa president’s body double in Investigations 2

This last one is more wish fulfillment than anything, but there will be a group photo and all the recurring defense team, detectives, and prosecution team will be included.

Along with my educated guesses, I look forward to more surprises as I go through the rest of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles.

It's been an amazing experience and I'm happy I discovered this spinoff (and the series as a whole.)

#Lynn plays video games #TGAAC #DGS #The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles #Lynn's rambling #video game predictions #Return of the Great Departed Soul #Barok van Zieks #This case really showed multiple sides to him #Albert Harebrayne voice: Fascinating!#Susato and Kazuma both got to return to the narrative #Amazing phenomenal #Takumi said 'Nobody gets sidelined'#Absolute king #No spoilers y'all I wanna see for myself 👀#when the courtroom drama hits just right 👌

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altocat · 2 years

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I love that anxious seph is a thing now. I have anxiety so we need more of that stuff because he's so distraught in crisis core and I feel so bad for him.

So with that all said, how does your seph unwind or relax? I want soft boy doing soft boy thingsssss

YESSS Anxious Seph!

I have clinical anxiety too hhh so maybe I impose that on Seph a lot BUT he does exhibit actual traits!

-Anyway, in the rare instances when Seph gets to unwind and relax, he typically will do a number of things. One of them, of course, is engaging with Angeal and Genesis. As his trusted companions, they're good at getting him out of his shell, as well as helping him take pleasure in more simple things in life. Later on, he feels this way towards Zack as well, perhaps even more so since seeing Zack becomes probably the only thing that relaxes him in what is essentially a series of constant losses and uncertainties.

-Apart from being around his companions, Sephiroth likes taking long, warm baths. No loud noises. No bright lights. Just a quiet dark soak in the tub, maybe with some wine and a lot of self-care and self-soothing. He avoids being near anything that could potentially trigger turbulent emotions, going off the grid for a few hours just to bask in a bit of warmth and silence.

-Sephiroth is rather fond of scented candles. They hold a relaxing aroma. His cabinet is probably secretly filled with them for later use.

-Hair care! Sephiroth loves brushies.

-Sephiroth suffers from chronic insomnia. Some of it is stress and some of it, unbeknownst to him, is because he's partially nocturnal. He's sleepiest during the day and in the offhand chance he actually has the day off, he likes a nice cozy nap with his window open and a bit of sun filtering through the blinds. Catboy hehe

-Deep breathing techniques! Sephiroth is extremely good at appearing calm and completely put together. The only time he really shows his true expressions are when he's alone and unmonitored. If he's having a particularly rough day, he tries to center himself by steadying his breathing. Lots of closing his eyes and counting to 10. Lots of sensory techniques to take his mind off of current stressors.

-Sephiroth is at his absolute worst after lab visits. Though he's willing to stand up to Hojo now that he's no longer a child and very actively gets violent around Hojo if he falls prey to the scientist's goading, the procedures themselves take a heavy toll. He will occasionally be granted breather days afterwards, where he mostly just hides out in his room to recover. Sephiroth doesn't actively sign up for break days so much as they're assigned to him, but even he has limits. He will spend a few days just kind of lying inert and avoiding everyone. Completely nonverbal and isolated.

-As a child, Sephiroth loved puzzles. Puzzles were his favorite way of settling himself, especially if they were particularly difficult. If he's focusing more on solving the puzzle, he doesn't have to think about bad or scary things. He does the same as an adult, busying himself with crosswords and other idle objects to draw his attention elsewhere.

-Sephiroth finds that he sometimes has very strange yearnings. Things he can't quite express or articulate. The need to be held--not romantically. Simply...held. Held tight. Held close. Bundled up against something warm with warm hands around him. He views the need as incredibly weak and beneath him, but the feeling has lingered his entire life. He wishes he could pinpoint its source. But it always slips away at the last moment. Sometimes, alone in bed, he holds himself, trying to capture the feeling. It's so strange. Human and warm and safe. But he can't quite replicate it. He's disgusted with himself for trying or caring. And yet...

#sephiroth #ff7 #crisis core #ffvii #asks #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #genesis rhapsodos #angeal hewley #zack fair #soft sephiroth #catboy #sad murderboi

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that-ari-blogger · 20 days

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The Boss Music Starts Playing, Part 2/2 (Mulan)

This is a continuation of my previous post (link), because the original was too long for a single thing. So, I cut it down.

This relates to the theme of self-image really nicely. Because self-image, by definition, is how a person sees themselves. But it would be foolish to assume that how a person is seen by others doesn’t fit into this.

Shang’s self-image is centred around leading people, for example. That’s why he and Chi-Fu foil off each other, because Chi-Fu’s idea of himself is built on being in power over people. They are similar, but it is the nuances that set them apart, and that are at the root of Chi-Fu’s unmeritedly complex characterisation.

Chi-Fu is misogynistic doofus, but he’s also more nuanced than that, and honestly, he is one of the more interesting side characters in this film. He is a hypocrite, staunchly defending what he sees as masculinity while exhibiting exactly zero of the traits he places value in. He places value in rank above all else, willing to criticise those above him when he views their actions as unwise, but still following orders even when in doubt.

A lot of his characterisation is exemplified in this single line:

“Be careful Captain. The general may be your father, but I am the emperor’s counsel.

And oh, by the way, I got that job on my own.”

Here, he’s an eejit who throws his weight around. He respects the rank of Shang but takes care to position himself higher than him out of sheer spite.

But he’s also kind of correct. Like, I hate the fact that I am agreeing with this guy, but he makes a good point about the general’s nepotism here.

However, Shi-Fu is an antagonist in this film, and I don’t want to understate why he fills that role. Shi-Fu is misogynistic, unwilling to be swayed by Mulan’s displays of heroism because… well because she has boobs, and that disqualifies every point she can make. Again, he’s a misogynist.

Which brings me back to the thing about self-image and external perception, and I am going to bring back the non-binary reading. You can take the hormones, you can dress differently, you can do all kinds of things to make yourself feel more at home in your body. But all of those elements of self-image can be subverted by a single person misgendering you, or deadnaming you.

To those reading this who are not trans or non-binary, that is why we ask y’all to respect our pronouns. It’s not because we enjoy being contrarians (most of the time), it’s because referring to us in the way we see ourselves actually makes us feel better about ourselves. We’re asking you to help us in a way that objectively doesn’t cost you anything other than the effort to try.

Mulan’s feeling of self-worth comes from her sense of belonging in the army, the place where she can be one of the guys, and people respect her for that and accept her as that.

When that image is shattered, and she is left out in the snow to die or go home, it is a gut punch because that belonging lets her go.

This post was inspired by Cinema Therapy’s video on Mulan, and while I joked around in the introduction about accepting their challenge, I think their video was really good, and I wish no I’ll will towards them. But��

I think it was a missed opportunity to not talk about the scene in the valley, because it is an incredible demonstration of what honour and self-worth actually are. They are both influenced by others, yes, but in the end, they are both something you find for yourself.

Mulan could go home, she has saved her father, she has proven herself, she has achieved what she came for. But she chooses to go back to the army and be a part of that, she chooses to go back to the life that Ping let her lead. Like the trial of the arrow, this is for her.

Which leads me into the two “fight scenes”.

This is such well composed shot. Despite the utter lack of landmarks or even detail on most of the characters, you can see the scale and geography so clearly, and your eye is drawn to the stooges, then to the avalanche, then to Mulan and Shang sprinting away from it.

The three stooges carry this film, specifically in the matter of its tone. They set up the humorous, upbeat nature of the first half of the story with their antics and act as a benchmark for Mulan’s success in finding acceptance. Then they stop laughing to show the seriousness of the aftermath.

But here, the little spin that Lee’s helmet makes in the air serves to soften what would otherwise be a jarringly terrifying and gritty moment. They remind the audience what film they are watching and balance out the tone to distract from the visage of death behind them.

Anyway, Mulan’s actions in this battle and the final confrontation lean into a few readings.

First, the feminist reading. I haven’t mentioned this as much as I probably should have up to this point, but the reading is by no means any less valid or prominent as any other.

This is a feminist piece, with Mulan defeating the Hun army twice by going against the masculine stereotypes. She reclaims her agency through being a badass alongside the men, but not in the same way as them. In the finale, she uses her fan, symbolically the thing associated with womanhood in the early stage of the film, to defeat the villain. She demonstrates that she has equal ability and right to be anywhere as the dudes, and in the end, the whole of China bows to her.

I’m obviously not a woman, so I’m not exactly the expert on this, but I can point out the obvious story beats, and I can step aside for people with a more nuanced understanding of this reading to let their presence be known.

Second, the trans reading, specifically a trans masculine reading. Once again, I am not trans, I am non-binary, so I’m going to give my understanding of this read from my limited perspective, and step aside again.

So, Mulan defeats Shan-Yu twice using the things she has learned as a soldier, sword fighting and cannons. These are parts of the identity that she has built for herself as a man, and her proficiency with them shows her expertise in the field of masculinity that she lacked in area of femininity, as demonstrated by the opening number.

When I ran a draft of this post by a trans friend of mine to make sure I wasn’t being inaccurate, he asked me to point out the fact that Mulan ends up with a scar in a similar place to those left by top surgery. So, there’s that.

Finally, there is the non-binary reading of these scenes, which is where I get to go crazy with my own theories.

Mulan defeats Shan-Yu by thinking tactically, a trait not associated with either masculinity or femininity in this setting. Then, she uses both the fan and the sword, walking in both fields to accomplishing her goal, as if the concept of gender is irrelevant to her. She is neither man or woman, and both. Her gender identity cannot be defined so easily.

When Mulan is cast out from the army, that choice of whether to go back to being Mulan or try again at being Ping comes up, and her choice is a mix of the two.

“You said you’d trust Ping, why is Mulan any different?”

Mulan is Mulan, she isn’t trying to be Ping anymore, she’s trying to be herself. Now, she’s attempting to call on the clout and experience that that persona gave her, while distancing herself slightly from it.

Essentially, she isn’t entirely a guy, but she has some of the traits that are socially attributed to guys, and she is at home in the place that she carved out for herself. She is who she is, she cannot be classified. She is Mulan.

I love that the three stooges get to dress in drag for this moment, and I too lament the fact that Shang didn’t. But I also want to point out that, for all of modern media’s advances, this is the closest I have seen to a real fight sequence with characters dressed in drag. Come on Hollywood, you have the chance for the most epic sword fight ever shown, and you don't take it. Do it, you cowards.

That moment actually symbolises the breaking down of gender roles completely. Mulan walks between genders, and now these guys are free to exhibit their own masculimity in whatever way they see fit.

The moment is then played for comedy in a really cool way. It isn’t played as absurd at all. The comedy comes partly from the line “ugly concubines”, but also through the reverse of Mulan’s first scene as a dude.

The three stooges are comically really capable at pretending to be women and take to it ridiculously quickly. That is then contrasted with the fact that they don’t drop the disguises when they return to the actions they associate with masculinity, beating up people with excessive force, and even greet the emperor without changing. The stooges are confident enough in themselves and their gender that they can present this way without getting confused, and without stepping into Mulan’s theming as non-binary or trans or whatever your reading of her is.

Unconditionally, the best part of this sequence is the music, bringing back Make A Man Out of You, specifically the final chorus (also the reveal of the drag is timed to the beat of the song, which is such a cool little detail). Everything I said about the unity of people working together with different strengths and weaknesses comes back. And the lyrics pair with the different forms of gender expression going on onscreen.

“Be a man.

We must be swift as a coursing river.

Be a man.

With all the force of a great typhoon.

Be a man.

With all the strength of a raging fire.

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon"

Shang’s hypermasculine soldier, the three stooges and their varying levels of manliness through their drag, and Mulan, all working together to succeed. Dressing in drag, being a general, being trans or non-binary, are all displaying the qualities of the song. Swift of mind, force of hope, strength of competence, mystery of individuality and interiority.

The actions reference the scene with the arrow in more ways than just the one, because this isn’t exactly the final chorus, it’s the chorus in which Mulan gets the arrow. The backing music was still there in that one, and it’s still there now. The main difference is that when we heard this first, Shang’s voice was leading the chant, but now he is either not there, or has joined the herd.

Catharsis.

Speaking of which, the scene where the emperor honours Mulan is nice and all, but it is secondary to the film’s final moments, and Mulan’s reconciliation with her father.

The gifts sit in the foreground here, but also in the shadows that Zhou has to move out of to get to his daughter. They are a reminder of what Zhou is stepping away from to hug Mulan.

This is acceptance on a familial level. Mulan is happy with herself, and she has found belonging in the army. Now she returns to her father, and offers him the gifts from the emperor, but Zhou discards them like they are nothing, because to him, that’s what they are.

This scene takes place in the same location as their conversation at the start of the film.

“What beautiful blossoms we have this year, but look, this one’s late. But I’ll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all.”

Zhou isn’t perfect, but I’ll challenge you to find a human being who isn’t, besides Oscar Isaac of course. However, he goes through substantial character development in the film behind the scenes in a way that is directly related to the events of the story.

At the start of the film, Zhou values his family, but instinctively his need for honour takes precedent. He will offer advice, and demonstrate his desire for his daughter to find herself in time, but he will undercut himself by his willingness to die for honour and for the hierarchy.

Then he loses his daughter, and he is told to make a choi

ce. He can get his honour back and expose his daughter, or he can stay behind. One will guarantee a reward, the other is a gamble, and without hesitation, he choses the risky option, because there is a chance his daughter will live.

He then has time to reflect over the course of the movie, that’s the development behind the scenes that I mentioned. So, when Mulan returns, and he sees the adult she has grown into, honour doesn’t enter the picture for him, and he accepts her for everything that she is.

Zhou isn’t perfect, but in the end, he is a good dad, and he improves as a person because of that. That’s what matters.

So, Mulan is a story about gender. Either from a feminine lens, a masculine lens, a trans reading, or a non-binary one, this film discusses gender, and how it relates to self-image and self-acceptance. The film talks about honour, and what that truly means, and it deconstructs the form of the musical itself to achieve it's points.

In other words, the writers during the Disney Renaissance were bloody good at their jobs, who knew?

I love that the cricket is doing a Batman impression too. That's just golden.

Final Thoughts

Mulan is my movie. Not the sequel or the reboot, the 1998 original. Mulan is my movie.

It is a story about identity, and as a non-binary individual, this film shaped how I saw myself, and how I related to the world around me. It is also the direct cause of my obsession with cinematography. Mulan is my movie.

To the folks at Cinema Therapy, if by some miracle you read this, thanks. Your video was great, but it also inspired me to write this, something I am very proud of and something that helped me to articulate a few things that I have been struggling with. So, thanks for that.

Y’all stepped on my turf, walked into the labyrinth, and now the minotaur bows its head to you.

To everyone else, hello. I’m Ari, I make media analysis, so stick around if that interests you. Usually I don’t post things on Sundays, but I have a few things lined up, maybe keep an eye out for those.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading this (checks wordcount) 5000 WORD ESSAY. Dear Lord, this got long, and I haven't even mentioned the old married couple that is Mushu and the cricket, or their relationships with identity and gender. That might have to be a different post.

Thank you for sticking around.

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