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gomapda · 16 days

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sidewalks we crossed [side B: him.] (pt. 2)

this is broken into parts because tumblr has a limit of 1000 blocks.

side A found here! | side B (part 1) found here!

author's note:

part two of side b!

the final installment.

it's been a long journey to get here, and any messages or words i read in the tags of the reblogs were a source of comfort for me during these times. i'm glad that my words resonated with even just one of you.

and of course, thank you for being here.

✧⋆°｡☾☼꙳ ੭ * ‧ ⨯ . �� ✦ ‧ ⨯ ς(>‿<.). ⁺ ✦ * . ˚ ⨯ ੭ * ‧☼☽⋆｡°✧

pairing: lee jihoon/woozi (seventeen) x f!reader

genre: romance, fluff

summary: an accidental like, an off-chance comment, a purposeful message. you were in an unrequited love with your childhood best friend and decided to run away from him and your feelings and years later you find yourself in the same city with the same feelings when he stalks your instagram.

rating: 13+

length: 30k (bro WHAT LOL)

tags: idol!jihoon, childhood friend!reader, unrequited love (but not really), reconnection through instagram, this is just different scenes pieced together (including a ton of flashbacks), reader’s nicknames are all bug-themed, reader has depression and it manifests as suicidal ideation sometimes, this is basically real life (aka seventeen exists and debuted 150526), but the years are a little bit off for the trainee period, jihoon left busan later and trained for shorter for the sake of my story hehe, cursing, pining, mamamoo + ateez are the besties of reader, member x member pairings, jihoon and reader are both dumbasses, reader is extremely book smart but has one brain cell when it comes to romantic feelings, jihoon writes music like he’s been divorced 12x, word genius lee jihoon, idk how doctoral degrees work, i only got my masters and it was a non-thesis track lol, also idk how trainee auditions work either, miss communication is a lady we all know too well, super cute soft shit too tho tbh, no beta we die like men, i spent 5 hours trying to format this for tumblr and i’m still unsure

inspired by “drivers license” by olivia rodrigo and “what kind of future?” by woozi

inspo spotify playlist found here!

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“Noona, I need help.”

Immediately, the older girl closed the book she was reading, a young adult romance novel and turned her attention to him. “You never ask for my help. What’s going on?”

“I… I like Y/N.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yes.”

Jihoon balked. “What? Does everyone know this already?”

“Y/N doesn’t.”

He groaned loudly.

“Are you finally wanting to tell her?”

“I mean, yeah. I—I just don’t know what to do.”

“Well, I got just the thing for you, Jihoonie.”

Jihoon spent his time trying to come up with some elaborate and dramatic confession (per the advice of his noona). They sat in cafes, picking out different foods that the two of them knew you’d enjoy, scoping out different restaurants, going to the library and her handing him too many romance novels.

After a few weeks, “Noona, you sure this is going to work?”

“Nope.”

“What?! Then why am I doing this?”

“I was just curious to see how much you were willing to do for her. She deserves nothing less than the best, you know,” the girl grinned, now revealing her mischievous side, one that he has never seen before. “Jihoon, you really think that she’s going to want anything that’s a grand gesture?”

“Well. No, but I thought you would know her—”

“Jihoonie, there’s no one that knows her better than you, I think. You probably know her and see her for how she really is. More than she can see herself. All you have to do is just tell her the truth. That’s it.”

“…this was a waste of time.”

She hummed. “Hm, nothing came up for you?”

“What do you mean?”

He could see that she was fidgeting with her fingers. She let out a nervous laugh as she said, “I actually wanted to see whether you still liked me. Whether spending time with me was going to change your mind. Not that I wanted it to! But I didn’t want you to be wishy-washy. She needs stability. She’s already chaotic on her own.”

“You knew I liked you?”

“Just a tiny bit.”

He let out a dry laugh. “Would you have given me a chance?”

“Would you have tried?”

The two of them sat there for a moment, mulling over the weight of the words said between them. But they both knew that there was someone else in their lives who mattered more, who they truly yearned for. If Jihoon and his noona ever pursued something, it would’ve just been them trying to find comfort in each other because they couldn’t have who they wished for. They would’ve tried to shape each other to fit the missing puzzle piece, losing the essence of themselves.

Jihoon and his noona were only mere reflections of who they actually wanted, the illusion created because of how much time was spent together. And that image would’ve faded fast.

“No, I don’t think I would have.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Good luck with him.”

“Yeah… good luck with her. It’ll work out.”

──────────────────

Plenty of people could say that his noona was childish, that she should have picked another route to go down. That it all could’ve been left unsaid. But Jihoon was grateful for her choice to do what she did. Because you didn’t deserve that “what if?”. Neither did he. You both needed to be sure.

And he felt it, walking into the restaurant.

He immediately recognized you, even with your head down. He was so used to seeing you from afar that this was a sight that was unfortunately so familiar to him. He walked forward in hopes of closing the distance between the two of you.

“Jihoon! Hey!” Your cousin said, frantically.

Jihoon held back his laughter, the sight of his hyung flustered a rare occurrence. “Hey, hyung.”

“Oh my goodness, it’s our Jihoonie! Hi!”

He could see that her eyes were screaming: save us. Jihoon wondered if he’d be able to. “Hi, noona.”

Ah, there you went.

Your eyes finally met his.

God, so beautiful.

“Hey, firefly.”

“Holy fuck.”

Jihoon was startled. Since when did you curse? And the fuck word too? But it must be a new development considering the other two were making a huge commotion over it. But even in the midst of chastising, you didn’t break eye contact.

“It’s been a while.”

You blinked. “Um. Yes.”

He couldn’t help but smile. This was happening.

His brilliant and warm and fiery sun.

The reason behind why his own light exists.

His guide, his inspiration, his hope.

His firefly.

Close enough to reach out and catch.

But not quite yet.

“So, are you all done eating?”

“No, not even close! Only ordered one pajeon, but feel free to order anything that you want! Oppa will be covering,” his noona responded as she motioned for him to take the seat next to you. He did and immediately felt you tense up beside him. Jihoon mentally cursed at himself. He should’ve asked.

He decided to lean back in his chair to try to mimic the body language he hoped from you: relaxed. “Hyung’s the best.”

“One day, I’ll make you spend that idol money of yours.”

“Alright, it’s a deal.”

You must have recovered from your shock, since you piped up with a, “Wait. Shouldn’t you be careful about eating out? What if someone sees you here? Couldn’t something happen?”

Aw, you were worried for him. “This is a restaurant that’s frequented by SEVENTEEN. This specific table is so far removed in the corner that it’d be hard to get a good look at my face, especially since my back’s to them.”

You looked around and scanned the area, probably noticing the boisterous environment of hweshiks overpowering the casual dining you were partaking in. “Hm. Okay…”

“You worried about me?”

“No, I’m worried I’m going to end up in Dispatch with message requests from sasaeng fans.”

Jihoon felt the color drain from his face. “If you’re uncomfortable with me being here—”

You immediately shook your head. “That was a joke, I guess it was too serious of a reality for it to seem like one. Jihoon, thanks, really. But I’m scary good at ignoring people. Uh… I’m… I’m glad that you’re here. Seriously.” You paused for a moment, probably noticing the tension that he was too aware of. “Because we’re with two weakass eaters so it’s up to us to finish the job. Will you join me on our noble mission?”

He snorted out a ‘yes’ and the table laughed. Your cousin brought up a time where you were crying because you hated wasting food but the dish was too spicy but you were too stubborn to stop eating. You quickly reminded him that he was the one who tapped out first and left a 9-year-old to solve the issue (“Wouldn’t have been a problem for me if you didn’t create one, oppa!”). The four of you spent more time catching up than thinking about what to order until you were all brought back into the reality that you were at a restaurant and ordered nothing but a pajeon and drinks.

The older two let you and Jihoon decide, as you were both pickier eaters than they were. Once the food arrived, you fell into a rhythm of years’ practice. You pushed your portion of fish and beef onto his plate and he pushed his portion of bean sprouts and japchae onto yours. You both split the pork belly serving evenly between the two of you.

His arm would (accidentally) brush against yours but none of the tension remained from earlier. You didn’t retract, you didn’t run away. In fact, you poked his arm for his attention midway in the conversation and he never thought such a small thing could evoke such happiness.

──────────────────

Physical touch was never something that Jihoon craved. In fact, in most cases, he felt negatively towards it. So, the experience of being touch-starved was not something he knew anything about.

That is, until you were gone for two weeks at an academic competition.

Why the hell was an academic competition half a month? And during summer break? What did they expect middle schoolers to do? Solve world hunger with pi? (The number, not the food.)

You were spending your school vacation for the sake of more school.

What a stupid concept.

And you were on the same team as Baek Yunho, the star player of the baseball team and chemistry league. Jihoon saw the way that Yunho would try to come up to you after a game, but you only ever made a beeline towards Jihoon.

He didn’t realize just how much the two of you gravitated towards each other. Between class periods, he’d pinch your nose or flick your forehead or you would attempt to bring him to his knees by pushing your own into the back of his and fail miserably and he would roundhouse kick you in response. If the two of you had the time, you would go over to his house and dig your toes into his ribcage when he totally owned you during a game of Super Smash Bros. And during the summer, usually, you would be sprawled over him, back to back, as he would watch anime or play games on his phone and you would read your summer reading list.

But normal people wouldn’t consider that physical touch.

And yet here he was, genuinely touch-starved, because you were in Daegu with a whole seven days left.

He grumbled under his breath. Another day has gone by without seeing Baek Yunho during practice which meant another day that you were gone. Something that occupied his mind, as he opened the door to his bedroom, swinging his baseball bag onto his bed.

And he heard a loud, “ow!”

He saw you rubbing your knee on his bed, with a pout on your face. “What the hell are you doing here?”

That’s one way to say he missed you.

“I came back from my competition today to apparently get assaulted by my best friend.”

“I thought it was two weeks long.”

“The whole thing is, but I opted out of the award ceremony. Plus, I only competed in the writing and foreign language portion because that’s all they needed me for, which all happened in the first week.”

Jihoon’s mind didn’t catch up with his body as he reached for you. You yelped and threw a pillow at him, “Ew. No, you just got back from practice and you’re sweaty!”

“Firefly, you’re missing out on a rare opportunity.”

You paused for a moment, possibly recalling all the times he’s rejected a hug from you and realizing this indeed was very rare. “Can you at least wipe off your sweat?”

“Nope, not at all,” Jihoon snickered.

It was now a competition to see who would be the faster one, you rushing for the door or his arms. And of course, the athlete that he is, Jihoon won.

“You smell like the sun! Stop!”

He decidedly rubbed his neck into the shoulder of your shirt and you did your best to wiggle away, but failed. Your look of disdain was met with Jihoon’s satisfied one. “Lee Jihoon, you’re the worst.”

“I’m glad my punching bag is back.”

You pushed his hair back only to immediately retract. “Ugh! How does so much sweat just come out of you?”

“Does it matter when I have a towel right here?”

You pinched his ear as he pushed his sweaty forehead against the other shoulder of your shirt. You burst into a fit of giggles when he found your ticklish spot in the middle of your thigh, but soon enough, your ankle found purchase around his and pushed him onto the ground as you clambered away and into his closet, probably to find a shirt to change into.

He was left there on his bedroom floor, listening to your ramblings about his sweat, almost deliriously happy.

He was satisfied, no longer a starving man.

──────────────────

After the food was finished (thanks to the two of you), the four of you walked out of the restaurant, the couple saying they were so full they wanted to walk it off on the way to their hotel. They offered for the two of you to join them but you declined, saying the hotel was in the opposite direction of your home.

Your cousin felt uneasy leaving you to walk home on your own. But you pointed at Jihoon with your thumb and said, “Jihoonie can walk me home, if you’re so worried. But even if he can’t, I’ve lived here long enough. This isn’t anything new.”

As if your cousin completely ignored the latter half of what you said, he glanced at Jihoon who gave a quick nod. “I’ll walk her home. Don’t worry. Then I’ll take a taxi back myself.”

After much long-winded convincing, the two headed off to the hotel while you and him were left walking down the street, his own face masked up and covered with a baseball hat in case of anything.

“You know, you don’t have to walk me home.”

“I’d like to, if that’s alright with you.”

He noticed you adjusting the hem of your shirt. “Okay. It’s a little bit of a walk from here. Maybe 30 to 40 minutes or so.”

“That’s 30 to 40 minutes I’d like to spend with you.”

“…yeah. I’d like that too.”

This felt almost surreal. You by his side.

But also so natural, almost inevitable.

As if this was all just waiting to happen.

After a moment’s pause, you asked him what he was doing for the coming months, if there were any plans.

“There’s a concert that Bumzu’s holding in Busan, and he’s asking some SEVENTEEN members to perform, so I’ll be doing a solo piece for that one.”

“Oh, SIMPLE?”

You immediately made a face as if you got caught admitting something embarrassing and Jihoon grinned. “Ah, you know my solo song?”

“Hm. Maybe…” You trailed off, looking everywhere but at him.

Cute.

“It might’ve possibly made it as my top song of the year in 2016.”

Agh, even cuter. “I’ll tell Yoon Jeonghan that he’s not actually your bias and you’re actually a Woozidan.”

“You can call me a Woozidan, you’d just be exceedingly and astronomically incorrect, like always. Unlike me, who is right, quite literally 100% of the time.”

Jihoon laughed. “Hey, I’ll have you know I’m one of the brains in SEVENTEEN, alright?”

“That’s because you were forged in the fire that was your friendship with me. Of having to deal with my illogical thinking.”

“Ain’t that the damn truth.”

The mood between the two of you was solid and Jihoon felt his resolve flare up within him, gathering the courage to ask, “If I invited you to Bumzu’s concert, would you go?”

“Oh. The one in Busan?”

“Yes.”

“Uh. When is it? I’m supposed to start work in three weeks.”

He wondered how big of a Carat you were because he knew that most would jump at the opportunity, but he felt oddly reassured that you weren’t a fan who would shirk on your responsibilities. “It’s in two weeks. You can… uh, bring Hyejin?”

You blinked up at him. “You know her?”

“She, uh, is always on your Instagram.”

“That’s very sweet of you and she’s gonna freak out that you know her, but she’s actually going to be in Jeonju that entire week with Wheein-unnie because they’re visiting their family. And then none of my other friends know about me knowing you. But. You know what? What kind of Carat would I be if I turned down this offer?”

Great minds think alike. “So… I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you will. I’ll sing the chorus of SIMPLE so loud I’ll overpower even your vocals.”

“You know, I never said I was singing SIMPLE.”

“Oh, what? What are you singing then?”

Jihoon grinned. “Guess you’ll have to come and find out.”

You let out a low whistle. “Wow, what an idol. Using your charm to convince me to use up my time and money.”

“You think I’m charming?”

“Enough that my wallet is in constant danger.”

“You know, I can always give you free things.”

“It’s okay. Buying your albums and merchandise and concert tickets have been the only way I can support you. And, well, I did promise I would be your number one fan.”

“‘S alright. That’s all in the past.”

Jihoon noticed you flinching at those words. Your voice was barely above a whisper, “…Is it really all in the past? It’s not that simple, is it, Jihoonie?”

He remained silent.

So did you.

You both walked, the evening stroll accompanied only by the artificial lights of the city, the sun having long since gone to rest and the light of the moon nowhere to be found.

You reached the doorstep of your apartment and you turned back to face him. “I think… We probably have a lot to talk about. But maybe the timing is off right now. I know I need to sort myself out, if that’s okay? I’m trying to do this thing where I think before I talk instead of just diving in and regretting something, you know?”

Jihoon nodded. He was all too familiar with that.

“But I just want to let you know that I still want to be a part of your life. And we can navigate how that will look like when we’re both not caught up in living our lives. Is… is that okay?”

He wanted to cry. “More than that.”

You smiled. “I’ll see you at the concert, Jihoonie.”

“I’ll see you, firefly.”

──────────────────

After that night, he was thrown back into his and SEVENTEEN’s work. Outside of Bumzu’s concert, they were working on their next album, aiming to release it in just two months, the theme centered around a youthful infatuation blossoming into a mature love.

He wondered what you would think of it.

One night, he was in his studio with Soonyoung again who looked over Jihoon’s latest solo for Bumzu’s concert.

“Jihoon, this is the saddest shit I’ve ever read.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Are you sure that this is what you’re wanting to perform? That this is what you want her to hear? In front of hundreds of people?”

“It’s… the most honest I can be. Yeah, it could scare her off. But I don’t think we can keep moving forward without addressing what happened between us. But I didn’t make this song to make her feel bad. I made it so I could let go of the pain I associate with the old her to be able to make space for the new her, you know what I mean?”

Soonyoung spared no expression. “Whatever you think is best, Hoon.”

“I’m just going to take a leap of faith,” Jihoon sighed. There really was no predicting exactly how things would turn out. You were different, he was different. There were too many unknown variables with the situation. “Hopefully she’ll be there to catch me.”

“Mm.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m thinking about how you’re going to be singing a ballad, pouring your true and genuine feelings, and I’ll be performing Hurricane in a tiger print shirt.”

Jihoon paused for a moment. “Duality of SEVENTEEN.”

──────────────────

You must have also been busy, as the only notification he got from you was on the day of the concert. It was a selfie of you at a gas station in the wee hours of the morning, no doubt filling your tank before your 4 and a half hour car ride, with a message saying, “i’m on my way to you! fueled by overpriced gas and cheap snacks!”

You were on your way. To him.

There was an electricity that was coursing through him that went beyond just nerves before a show. No, there was so much more riding on this, and as much as he wants to believe and trust that everything would work out in some way or another, there is the deep part of him that yearns for it to work out for the best. The most ideal cut.

He pressed his hands against his chest, as he tried to mimic compression.

But there was just too much bursting out of him to truly contain.

“Jihoon-ah, you alright?”

He must have looked like a crazed man to Jeonghan because the latter had an incredulous look on his face as soon as they made eye contact. “Do I not seem alright?”

“No.”

“Hyung.”

Jeonghan let out a low chuckle and moved behind him to squeeze the shoulders of the stressed man. “It’s okay to hope, you know.”

“It feels like hope is the reason I can’t breathe right now. If it weren’t for hope, I wouldn’t care this much. If it weren’t for hope, I wouldn’t be in this position.”

“You’re right. You wouldn’t be. Without hope, you wouldn’t be in SEVENTEEN. You wouldn't have become an idol, be our unit’s leader, become a producer, written songs, or even had the chance to reconcile with her. All of what you are would’ve been impossible without hope”

Jihoon bit his lip. “I feel like I’m going crazy, hyung. I keep going back and forth between whether it’s worth it. I haven’t felt anxiety like this in years. I know that lo–love–” Jihoon realized he never said that word so directly about her. He always found more poetic ways to dance around the word. “–can be a lot of work. But this? It makes me think that it’s not meant to be. When I see her and when I’m with her, it feels so right. But when she’s not in front of me, I feel like the best thing to do is to just run away.”

“Yeah, but you ran away last time, right?”

“And I wouldn’t be in SEVENTEEN if I hadn’t.”

“But you’ve still pined after her for all these years.”

“Maybe that’s just me being stubborn.”

“Yeah, and? What about it?”

“What happens if I’m pining after her because I regret hurting someone I cared about, my best friend. What if I don’t actually love her–”

Jihoon’s voice caught in his throat.

Jeonghan answered in a low whisper, and Jihoon is sure that if he turned around, he would see pity in his older member’s eyes. “Jihoon–”

“No, I know,” he quickly cut him off, sighing. “Ridiculous notion. Hyung, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I don’t understand myself at all. Just yesterday, I was talking a big game about how I needed to trust her and take a leap of faith and now it feels like I’m going back on it.”

“So, you don’t trust her?”

“That’s… not it.”

“Then what is it, Jihoon?”

“I… I can’t…”

“It’s just you and me here.”

Lee Jihoon and Yoon Jeonghan.

The very two people who were in that room together when that fateful encounter on social media occurred.

Yoon Jeonghan, the island of SEVENTEEN.

“What if she doesn’t love me back?”

Jeonghan felt Jihoon’s shoulders tremble underneath his grip. The older began to rub gentle circles and stood there in silence as the younger buried his face in his hands. “...She could.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“What if she does?”

“That’s not–”

“–How it works? Why are your worries more likely than your hope? Are they more logical? More based in reality? Listen, they’re all just thoughts driven by feelings. They both have an equal chance of happening, and yet you are convinced your worries are true. And maybe that’s your fault. Your fault because you keep suppressing your hope in fear of pain and rejection. So that later down the line, you can tell yourself that you knew it anyway. But guess what? This isn’t a game where you’re trying to come out of this as the least hurt.”

Jihoon felt lucky that Jeonghan couldn’t see his face.

“Just think of it as finally being able to let out the entire truth that you’ve been hiding for years, the truth that has been found in your lyrics, but is now finally going to reach the person you’ve hoped for so long that it would. She’ll be right there, listening to you. You’ve wanted it for so long. Don’t try to convince yourself all of a sudden that it’s not.”

“...Yeah.”

“Plus, they already have the line-up and backing vocals set up, so. It’s not like you can change it now. Go put your in-ear in. We’ll be in the audience. All of us.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“...I’m not sure if it means anything, but you’re a good man, Lee Jihoon. I’m proud of you.”

Jeonghan patted the younger’s shoulder before exiting the small space, leaving Jihoon to his own thoughts. Ones that no longer swirled over the possibility of pain or even the potential of reciprocation. Instead, he thought about his members. The ones he’s told he’s loved, both in teasing ways and genuine utterances.

And then he thought of you.

He’d like you to hear the same from him.

At least once.

(And hopefully more.)

──────────────────

Busan’s driving laws were nothing like the rest of Korea.

Luckily growing up in Busan, you were aware of the way that the drivers swerved in and out of lanes, making illegal (?) turns any chance they got. The flow of traffic in Busan is so aggressively different from Seoul, that it felt as though you had to flip a switch to reorient yourself into the version of you that learned how to first drive in Busan.

Not long after the person you were driving to see had stormed out of your home.

You sighed.

You weren’t sure what to expect at the concert.

It felt almost embarrassing how much you daydreamed over him potentially singing a song to you. The reality is dangerously close to overlapping with the delusion that you found yourself trying to literally shake away the thoughts.

But how could you not be a little hopeful?

The love of your life invited you to a concert, with him singing a solo song.

Maybe he’d confess–

The honk of the car behind you pulled you out of your thoughts. You groaned loudly, slapping your forehead. “Get it together, Y/N!”

Jihoon had told you to enter the concert hall through a certain entrance, and that you wouldn’t need to wait amongst the lines. He recommended waiting until everyone else was seated, so you would still have 20 minutes to kill before entering the venue.

You drove, mentally fighting yourself every kilometer of the way, until you finally reached the venue. You showed the badge that Jihoon had given you and was directed towards the back lot where staff parked. You cut the engine and sat there, attempting to calm yourself down.

You immediately get a request for FaceTime on your phone.

You answer it.

“Bumblebee!”

“Unnie, I can feel myself eroding away.”

Hyejin rolled her eyes. “You’ll be fine.”

You heard Wheein’s voice in the background. “Is that Y/N?”

Hyejin answered, “Yeah. Wanna say something?”

Wheein popped into frame. You gave a weak wave. “Are you gonna confess today?”

“What? No. That wasn’t in the plan.”

“Okay? Then change the plan,” Wheein said, as though it was the most obvious thing.

“I just want to be friends.”

“Forever?” Wheein asked.

“For now,” Hyejin supplied.

You rolled your eyes. “Listen. All I know is that I want to be in his life, and whatever that looks like is still to be determined, alright?”

“But what do you want in the long run?”

“You know I can’t plan for the long-term. Let’s just take things day by day, alright?”

“Okay, but what if he confesses today?” Wheein asked.

“He won’t.”

“What if he does?”

“I–”

Hyejin tapped Wheein’s thigh off-camera. “She’ll handle it if it comes up. No matter what happens, we’ll be here to pick up your call, okay? Whether it be to sort out your feelings or to just fangirl about the concert. We’ll be here to listen to whatever you’re willing to share. There’s not much to do here in Jeonju anyway, so. Just hit us up.”

“Go eat Jeonju bibimbap.”

“We did,” they answered in unison.

You let out a short laugh. “Alright. Well. Regardless of everything, time will continue to pass. I’m going to just bask in the fact that I was invited by a member of my favorite idol group to watch his performance.”

“And that’s already cool as hell,” Wheein nodded.

The three of you chatted about their plans for the week while you did your best to focus on the conversation while still paying attention to the time left until the concert. Not long after, you bid them farewell to once again sit in silence in your car, pressing your hands against your chest.

It was time.

──────────────────

Bumzu’s concert started off as nothing less than spectacular.

You always admired his musical prowess, knowing that he was the one who helped Jihoon form his own identity as a producer and songwriter. Bumzu was a titan in his own right, his lyricism and musicality rivaling plenty of others in the field.

Although his talent is impeccable, the venue itself was small. His transition from performing towards writing and producing had a hand in influencing the number of tickets sold. You also realized belatedly that the concert wasn’t advertised to include the SEVENTEEN members that you were promised.

Regardless, it felt like such an intimate space, you were thankful for it.

You were in the upper gallery, away from the rest of the concert attendees. There wasn’t anyone else nearby you, and you assumed that would stay the case.

That is, until you heard someone sit right next to you.

You glanced over, not wanting to be overt in noticing them (although, Korean culture lends itself to staring at others outside of Seoul and Busan), and you felt your breath hitch.

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I–yeah.”

“I recorded a video for you for your graduation,” the most beautifully ethereal man on this side of existence said. “Do you remember?”

“I–yeah.”

He flashed a brilliant grin. “Yoon Jeonghan.”

“I–yeah.”

“Congratulations on graduating.”

“I–” This time, his voice overlapped yours. “Yeah.”

You flushed. “Sorry. I’m just– I’m kind of taken aback.”

“I heard I was your favorite member, your bias.”

“Mm. That’s true.”

“Why is that the case?”

You paused for a moment, the vocals of Bumzu drowning out the sounds of your conversation. “They say that your bias is the one who’s most similar to you. And your bias wrecker is the one that you’d most likely want to date or be romantically involved with.”

“Oh, so, we’re similar?”

“In the way that we love others, I think? From what other members have said about you, the way that you love is both wide and deep. You love others in a way where you can be a home for them during times of hardship,” you said, sheepishly. It felt almost strange to claim you were as loving as you were, but. You knew yourself. You knew your heart. Even the bad parts. “Also, we both would cheat at games.”

“It’s the only way to play.”

“Winning is too easy otherwise,” you added.

“Exactly,” he chuckled. “Well. That makes me feel better.”

“That I cheat at games?”

“No. That you love in the same way that I do. Because if you love Jihoonie as much as I love him, I think I have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“I do.”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at you. “I’m sorry?”

“I do love him,” you said, unhesitantly. Perhaps it wasn’t the wisest decision to tell one of Jihoon’s closest confidants this information. But, it wasn’t a secret. It wasn’t ever meant to be a secret. It was simply a fact. “There’s no way that I wouldn’t.”

“You… You haven’t doubted your feelings?”

This time you raised an eyebrow at him. “Why would I? He’s easy to love.”

Jeonghan laughed. “You’re so right, Y/N. So. Is he your bias wrecker?”

“You mean the one that I want to date?”

“The very same.”

You saw the mischief in his eyes, and you felt yours bubble up inside. “I wonder.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised you cheat at games, you don’t seem like a great liar.”

“Who said I was trying to?” You flashed him a toothy grin.

“It’s rather strange to see just how different the two of you are. And also, how human you seem. The way that he talks about you, you’d think otherwise.”

“Unfortunately, being human is all I know,” you said, trying to shove down the feeling of butterflies in your stomach at the mention of Jihoon speaking of you to his precious brothers.

Bumzu was now giving a ment, but you were still so focused on the man next to you.

He crossed his legs and looked out at the stage. He pursed his lips. “Y/N. He’s a bit of a handful sometimes, you know.”

“I’ve got two hands.”

He smirked at that. “Right. That you do. And if you and I really are similar, then. Well. I hope you really listen to what he has to say to you, even if it can be hard to hear. I hope you try to understand him even when he doesn’t make sense. And, of course, I hope you enjoy the rest of your life loving him.”

You felt some tears well up in your eyes. “I’ll try my best.”

Jeonghan looked at you softly and patted your knee. “That’s all I ask.”

He stood up and you gave a slight bow. He smiled and said, “Enjoy the show.”

Bumzu’s voice rang out: “And now, a special guest: WOOZI from SEVENTEEN.”

Your eyes snapped back towards the stage, barely noticing the figure of your bias move back out into the shadows of the concert hall. You were transfixed by the man walking out on stage, his pale skin glowing underneath the stage lights, his black collared shirt hanging loosely on his frame. The cheers could not distract you from the way he gripped and ungripped the microphone in his hand as he sat down on the stool.

He lifted the microphone to his lips and began speaking.

“Hello, everyone. I am SEVENTEEN’s WOOZI.”

His eyes were darting around, but only looking downwards, barely looking at the crowd. “Today, I’m going to sing a song that I’ve only ever sang once. Um. And that was by myself, in my studio. Not even the other members have heard it.”

The crowd were wowed at the prospect of hearing an entirely new song from a genius producer. Seeing the spotlight shine on him, you realize how bare he looked without his other members surrounding him. His vulnerability was amplified by the closer proximity of the space.

You knew he was the kind of person that would lessen the amount of lines he had solely to allow others to shine more. He wasn’t like the sun, the blazing fire that consumed the day. No, he was so much more like the moon, the one that would reflect others’ light, but in such a way that was never accosting.

Even on the stage in front of you, he glowed so ethereally, you wondered if he was always the fae that you believed lived near the winding tree at Old Man Park’s home. He was the guiding light in the midst of night, always present, but in a less overt way than its celestial partner.

The sun was stunning in its own right, life-giving, even, but the moon provided comfort to those who tread in the darkness.

And you’ve seen the way he has done just that.

Not just for you, but for millions around the world.

“This is, uh. A very personal song,” you couldn’t help but notice the way that his grip around his microphone tightened. “I’m not sure if many of you out there have been unsure about what the future holds. But, this song… captures that, I think. This is ‘What Kind of Future’.”

Your reaction to grab your phone to record was immediately cut off by the piano playing.

This… melody?

Your throat tightened. It sounded so similar to the lullaby he would sing–

As if nothing happened I told myself that it was all a dream. When I closed my eyes and opened them again, I wanted to wake up with a relief.

The melody was so familiar, but because of that, you could focus solely on the lyrics he sang.

Was this song… about you?

No, your mind supplied. Don’t be delusional.

But what if it was?

Your heart began to pound loudly in your ears, and you had to take deep breaths so as to not miss anything that he had to say.

Our past that didn't line up If I could go back in time Rather than roughly, but warmly Would I be able to let you go?

Your eyes widened.

You thought back to that moment in your house.

Could it be–?

When we weren't over As I held onto whatever was left You let go of me as I refused Although I don't wanna see you, I miss you Although I hate you, I miss you I don't understand myself so well

You immediately recall the desperation on his face and the hurt in his voice that you couldn’t see until it was too late. It was shrouded by his anger and your desire to look away. To run away. Because, to a teen on the cusp of adulthood, that was easier than being honest.

This waiting It's not easy to endure If I forget that someday As if nothing is wrong Our future will be empty and It's not that I want to forget you

You never wanted to forget him.

You couldn’t.

He surrounded you at every turn.

The best parts of you were things that you learned from him.

He softened your rough edges, quieted the inner criticisms, pacified the burning flames.

The idea of him never being a part of your life again was one that you could not fathom, even with all of your imagination. Because there was no way for the current you to exist without him. Not in a way that deemed him necessary, but in a way that his friendship, his love, for you shaped you into becoming someone you, yourself, learned to love as well.

Your future might have been filled with joy and happiness.

His, just as likely to.

But yours and his, as he said, our future, would be empty.

We were happy about us You, who isn't me anymore Although I don't wanna see you, I miss you Although I hate you, I miss you I don't understand myself so well

You tried to quell your tears as much as you could, in fear of missing even another moment with him. Because you realize now that the feelings you had were not one-sided. Of course, they couldn’t have been. The way that the two of you stuck by each other through thick and thin.

Why were you so adamant that it couldn’t be true?

What kind of future is coming before us? Even if the Heavens don't give us an answer I'm too stupid until the end So I don't know the answer

The love you had for each other was so simple.

It was so direct, so straight-forward.

But the two of you made it complicated.

Why?

You also didn’t have an answer.

The both of you, burdened by the decisions of the past, anxious about the potential of the future.

As his vocals rang out, as he cried out, the tears finally streamed down your warm cheeks. You buried your face into your hands, listening to his voice, but unable to withstand the sight of him holding his microphone with such gentle, yet firm, hands. The same ones that trembled at his side that fateful day. Your breath staggered as you wept for the past versions of you.

The ones who struggled and constantly questioned whether you were loved by the person you longed for. The ones who somehow convinced themselves that you weren’t, rather than trusting in the obvious truth that you always had been.

And still are.

As the song concluded with his smooth vocals, the crowd erupted into cheers. You raised your head and found him looking longingly up in your direction, and if you weren’t mistaken, at you.

But how could he?

The stage lights were so bright, you were sure it was impossible to see beyond the stage.

But with the way his gaze softened as your bottom lip trembled.

Maybe, just maybe.

As soon as the crowd settled down to a reasonable level, he began speaking again. “Thank you all for attending tonight. Bumzu-hyung is an artist that I admire a lot, so I feel really honored that I was able to share my music here. This song is… both personal and special. And I hope that, maybe, someone out there can understand what I was trying to convey.

“Carats, thank you always for your support. Remember to stay healthy; I’m always wishing for your happiness. We hope that you continue to love and support SEVENTEEN. I’m always humbled by Carat’s love for us, and I really wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

He began to fiddle with the microphone in his hands.

“Did you know that…” He trailed off for a moment before he glanced up in your direction. Your breath hitched. “...If you dream of fireflies, they’re supposed to represent guidance and inspiration? Because they’re kind of like a beacon of light in the dark. And according to some, they’re also meant to represent taking a chance at an opportunity that’s right in front of you. And I, uh. I’ve been dreaming of fireflies for a long time. So, I think… that means that it’s time to try and take that chance. I’m not sure what it’ll look like, but…”

He shut his eyes for a moment, tilting his head backwards, looking as though he was allowing the weight of his words to really sink into him. He brought the microphone back up to his lips.

“Thank you again. I hope our future together is one of happiness.”

He gave a slight bow to the audience who cheered loudly for him. He, once again, looked up in your direction. You weren’t sure whether he could see your expression, so instead you lifted your phone screen at its highest brightness, open to the phone dial screen.

If he gave any semblance of acknowledgement, it was imperceptible.

Bumzu was welcomed back to the stage and squeezed Jihoon’s shoulder before the latter excused himself off of the stage.

Almost possessed, you followed suit, leaving the upper gallery to rush towards the restroom, out of earshot and view of anyone else.

Not even a minute later, your phone starts vibrating.

You answer immediately. “That was fast.”

“We’ve wasted enough time, don’t you think?”

“Are you… running? You sound like you’re out of breath.”

“Meet me outside. Staff parking lot.”

“I–”

“Security cleared it out.”

“Jihoon, I’m not fit like you! I’m not a runner.”

“I’m not asking you to be. I’ll wait for you as long as you need.”

Your heart swelled. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“I’ll see you soon, firefly.”

The sound of his smile filled your senses as the call ended.

Despite your complaints earlier, your feet were carrying you at a pace you haven’t attempted since your required physical education class. Your eyes were darting around, searching, searching, searching. The adrenaline rushing through your body was enough to keep up your strides. You were rushing forward, and then–

You saw him.

He pushed his hair back, his chest rising up and down, attempting to catch his breath. He was definitely winded from the running. But there was no rest for the weary as your eyes locked. You found yourself barreling forward, not even really thinking of anything other than: him.

And his arms caught you with ease as you slammed yourself into his chest. He spun you around to lessen the impact, but tightened his grip on you. “Firefly–”

“Jihoonie.”

You held each other for a while.

Long enough for both of your breathing to even, for your heart rates to synchronize.

As though making up for lost time.

He adjusted his face just slightly away from the crook of your neck to speak. “Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere you want.”

“Yeah, well. I’m the driver, so no shit.”

Jihoon laughed and squeezed you closer to him. You let out a grunt. “You call the shots, firefly.”

You disentangled yourself from him and pulled out your car keys from your person. “Alright, get in, my passenger prince. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, hm?”

──────────────────

“Hi! My name is Y/N. Here’s a seashell!”

The young boy’s expression contorted into one of confusion. You were completely unaffected. He looked around at the empty playground, save for a few pigeons here and there, before pointing to himself. “Are you talking to me?”

You knew for a fact that he was someone that the CU convenience store auntie would call a ‘cutie’. You’d agree! “I’d like to!”

“I’m… I’m Lee Jihoon.”

“Okay, Jihoon! Can we be friends?”

“S-Sure.”

“Awesome!” You clapped your hands together. “I don’t really know what friends do together, but let’s go on the swings! You can sit first and I’ll push you. I’m very strong.”

“No, it’s okay! I can push you—”

“You don’t think I’m strong enough?”

“No, no. That’s not what I said—”

“Get on the swing, Lee Jihoon!”

“O-Okay.”

──────────────────

“Do you remember when I pushed you on the swing so hard that you lurched forward and got a nosebleed from falling onto your face?”

“That was the first day we met, firefly.”

“Well, I wanted to know if you remembered.”

“To the point that it haunts me.”

“You were so small and cute back then. So shy.”

You half expected that the two of you were going to drive in silence, just basking in each other’s presence. But, remaining true to the dynamic you two always had, there was still so much to talk about. You told him about the drive down from Seoul and how Busan really needed to up its driving laws to match the rest of the country. He told you about how Soonyoung just finished performing “Hurricane” on stage and Jeonghan sent him the video.

You told him about how Jeonghan actually approached you.

“Aha.”

You couldn’t turn to see his expression, so you asked, “Why? Is that a bad thing?”

“He, uh. Might’ve witnessed me have a bit of a mental breakdown backstage, so.”

You took his nervous laughter as a sign to not push further. “Honestly, me on any given Tuesday.”

“What, your grad program?”

“Oh, man, I gotta tell you.”

And so the two of you exchanged both stories and banter until you finally saw the shoreline coming into view. Just a couple of moments later, you parked your car along the sidewalk at the edge of the beach. This was a more local area, far away from tourist spots.

“Ah, this place.”

“Lotta memories here,” you said. You shot him a big smile as you turned off the engine. “Let’s go make a new one.”

The two of you exited your car and threw your socks and shoes into the trunk of your car, just like you did with his parents’ car, when you were children.

As you both walked towards the edge of the water, you were very aware of the silence that had fallen onto the two of you.

There was an instinct in you that told you to remain quiet.

“You know,” Jihoon broke the silence. You smiled to yourself. “I’ve always admired how you were able to be so honest about your feelings, without worrying about what other people think.”

“That’s the nice way of saying that I don’t think before I speak.”

He laughed and you relished in it. “Maybe.”

You skipped forward a bit more, letting your toes dig into the now cooled sand, the sun long set. You had your back turned to him as you waited for him to continue speaking.

“I was always someone who kept to himself. Who never really shared my heart with anyone.”

You hummed as you turned to face him directly. “You did in your own way, I think. You just needed people who knew how to read between the lines.”

“I was never honest about the hard stuff though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I constantly asked myself if I was worthy enough to love you.”

You opened your mouth to retort, but he continued.

“You loved me in such loud ways. You honestly left no room for doubt, and yet my brain managed to squeeze in some anyway. But… you know what I eventually realized?”

“What?”

“I realized that if I were to give myself to anyone, to be safe with anyone in the world, it would be okay if it was you. You’ve always been honest. Your sadness. Your joy. I know I can trust it. Maybe that’s naive considering how long we’ve spent apart. But you’ve never been anything but honest. So this is me trying to do the same. Y/N, my light, my firefly, I love you.”

In his eyes you saw him searching for something, anything. He might’ve not been able to interpret the expression on your face, but there was no need to. You pulled the collar of your shirt down to reveal the ink forever etched into your skin, placed over your heart.

Art that was drawn on a paper towel a decade ago.

You knew even in the dim light of the street lamps high above you, he could see it.

His jaw dropped. “Wait. That’s—”

“I broke one promise in my life. Just one. And I told myself I would never do it again. No matter how stupid the promises were, no matter how mundane, no matter how old they were. I would never break another promise. Because breaking that one promise ended up breaking me. The promise that I’d always be by your side.”

“What are you—?”

“Because it’s you, it’s always been you. Ever since I gave you that stupid seashell from this very beach,” you gestured at your surroundings. “And it was stupid because you could easily get your own, but you kept it. Like it was a precious treasure.”

The rampant beating in your chest matched the rhythm of your words.

“I don’t know what the future holds, Jihoon. I have no idea and I’m terrified. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know anything. Years at Yale, years at Seoul National, years spent in higher academia only taught me that I know so little. But you, oh, you were the worst reminder. I don’t get how you can make me feel so empty and filled at the same time. I don’t understand how you can make me feel at home with just a smile. I don’t know how you have such a hold on me. You’re just this strange enigma that I can’t seem to place, a riddle with no way to solve. But God, I so badly want to try. You’re a question I want to spend the rest of my life trying to answer. Because it’s you.”

He bit his lip and you wondered if you overwhelmed him.

“I’ve spent years, you know,” his voice barely above a whisper.

“Doing what?”

“Hoping that you would hear me. That my words would reach you,” he breathed out. His eyes softened as he recalled, “‘If a second life that’s different from now is to come to me, will I be by your side? Will you be by my side? I imagine things like this. Even if they’re words I mentioned as a joke. Will you believe me? Even if it’s a funny imagination. On a sudden day when I’m left alone, I’ll take my steps towards you again.’”

He stepped forward, hands reaching for yours, and you immediately took them, as soon as he was an arm’s length away. Physically, this wasn’t the closest he’s ever been, but it was the closest you’ve ever felt.

“‘You did this once before. Only by looking in your eyes I can tell. Whatever may happen, I want to know this emotion. When walking by my side, I don’t even want to let go of your hands. That flattering feeling is because of you, everything is so good.’”

He took another step forward, his voice dropped to barely above a whisper, hoping you could hear his words above his heart hammering in his chest.

“‘What can I do? Without you, my heart stops and it’s always cold. What can we do? Without me, you’ll struggle just as much, so what can we do?’” He paused, before recalling later lyrics. “‘I don’t wanna let you go like this. I don’t want to be scared with a broken heart. I’m the place you can come to. You’re the place I can go to.”

Tears formed in your eyes, but he brushed them away easily, now cupping your face within his hands, the tips of your noses brushing against each other, and you could have sworn he felt the fluttering of your eyelashes against him, dampened slightly by your watery eyes.

“‘I couldn’t express my feelings because I was too young. I wanted to be your tomorrow, so I lived today. Ever since the first day I saw you. In my heart, it’s always been you. These typical words, I’m only saying them now, but I hope these typical words will reach you.’”

You looked at him, your entire being filled and your senses flooded.

With him.

It was only him, him, him.

How could you not have realized?

His words, his feelings were so clear.

He had the kind of love for you that brings forth a melody.

His gentle voice drew you away from your own thoughts, “Thank you, firefly. For choosing me.”

“Always, Jihoonie. Always.”

He leaned in to close the distance.

You met him halfway.

──────────────────

Your hands were intertwined with his as you swung them lightly, back and forth, ebbing and flowing, like the waves almost reaching your feet on the coastline of the local beach where you would laze away during your adolescence and find adventure during your childhood.

The two of you fell into a comfortable rhythm, the sounds of the ocean and lull of the town around you, just basking in what felt like the stars finally aligning.

Jihoon squeezed your hand for a moment. “You know, I thought you left because you realized that I had feelings for you and didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“I’m sorry, what?” You stopped in your tracks and turned to face him, still not letting go of his hand, the sea breeze weaving itself between his and your hair.

He raised an eyebrow. “I thought I was pretty obvious. Hyung and noona thought the same. They figured it out pretty early on.”

“Um.”

He blinked. “You had no idea?”

“I—I thought you were in love with noona—”

“Hey, I might’ve thought she was pretty, but you were the one that turned that into something it wasn’t.”

“What! What about the times we went to try and find out whether the mini golf place was fun enough for a date idea? Or whether the food stand near the beach was romantic enough?”

“Please tell me you’re hearing yourself.”

“I’m—”

“Jesus, firefly. Are you serious? Did I end up ever taking her there? Did I even try? All of those places, all of those times, those were meant for you. You were the one who kept bringing up noona and what she would like while I was trying to figure out whether it would’ve been weird to reach out and hold your hand.” His grip tightened on yours.

You flushed at that. “Okay, but like—you spent so much time with noona before I left.”

“Because she was trying to help me plan something to get it through your thick skull just how in love I was because obviously none of the other things I did was enough.”

“I—you—she’s better than me.”

“I just confessed that I was in love with you, and you’re focusing on her right now?”

You blabbered out incoherent sounds and he merely laughed in your face at your reaction.

(Or maybe at himself.)

“Dozens of songs of writing my feelings for you into the lyrics, and you still didn’t get it. So. I’ll try and say it as clearly as possible. I love you, Y/N. What can I do to get you to notice me? Because I’ll do it, firefly. I swear I will.”

You bit your lip.

“I got my driver’s license.”

He wasn’t expecting that. “Uh… recently?”

“No. A month after you left, a month before I did. I got my driver’s license and I so badly wanted to call you to tell you. Because we talked about late night diner specials and how uncrowded the park was at six in the morning and you said I’d be your chauffeur forever.”

“Yeah, why should I have to learn?”

“Jihoon.”

“I’m doing alright without one, thanks.”

You rolled your eyes, but continued, “I drove around the neighborhood several times, passing by the mailboxes we used to Sharpie, the stop signs we tried to run up and slap, the sidewalks we crossed after hagwon, the sewer where we were convinced a clown lived.”

“That was a you thing, don’t drag me into it.”

“And I realized that none of it mattered if you weren’t in the passenger seat.”

“So, what are you saying? That I’m just good company?”

You eyed him and knew he was teasing, but there was a hint of insecurity underneath it. Because he said those words you had yet to acknowledge, let alone, respond to. The corner of your lips upturned. “Yeah, that’s it. And if it’s alright with you, I’d like to be in said company for at least one lifetime. I love you, Lee Jihoon.”

“You’re missing the ‘too,’ since I said it first.”

“You’re annoying.”

“It’s been one of the only ways to get you to look at me, firefly.”

“Mm. I’m always looking.”

“Respectfully?”

“Most times. Have you seen the ‘Good to Me’ choreo?”

He bumped your shoulder as you burst into a fit of giggles, choosing to let go of his hand to wrap your arms around his waist as he pretended to stomp off. He stuck his tongue out at you, calling you a pervert, and you said, “Hey, you’re the one that’s in love with me, alright?”

He swept you up into his arms and rather than carrying you princess-style or even in a piggy-back ride, he threw you over his shoulder and you yelped loudly.

“Jihoon!”

“Y/N!”

“Let me go!”

“Nope. Never again.”

You made a gagging noise. Who is this shameless kid?

“I’ll put you down though, my shoulder hurts.”

You smacked it once you were on your own two feet and ran as much as you could with the weight of your feet sinking into the wet sand with each step. He quickly closed the distance between the two of you and tackled you to the ground. You fell back, with his hand behind your head, ensuring no damage to your person. You giggled up at him.

The edge of the waves were mere centimeters from you, but seeing him against the endless night sky, with glittering stars, him, your moon, you could not bring yourself to care.

You had so many questions you wanted to ask him, about his life as an idol, about his pursuits and his struggles and his hopes and his dreams. You were so excited to fall in love with him again. You hoped that he would be just as excited to love the person that you’ve become, the one that is so wholly you, but has been transformed by him.

Leaving things left unsaid was a burden the two of you beared for far too many years, believing that you deserved the painful yearning of each other, to make up for the choices made as teenagers.

You breathed in the salt of the sea, as you thought about how, years ago, you were in the same city, letting this very person walk away from you. Shame washed over you, as it has for years, like the waves that were ebbing and flowing right beside you, and tears began to form in your eyes. It was almost embarrassing, how easily you let him slip away. He deserved so much.

“I’m a lot,” you choked out.

He smiled softly as he cupped your face gently, not moving to brush away tears that were threatening to fall. He simply held you, wordlessly accepting all that you were.

“Never too much, and always enough, firefly.”

You wanted to thank whatever higher power was out there.

Whatever one compelled Jihoon to search your Instagram page and accidentally like a post from years ago, a notification that could have been swiped away accidentally in the middle of the night by a bleary-eyed and half-awake you.

Because what kind of future would’ve come otherwise?

Would you have reconnected in some other way, more purposeful and intentional?

Or would you have convinced yourselves that living apart was something that was inevitable and it was better to have simply let the past be the past?

Or would you have yearned for each other in ways that even the potential of running into each other would lead to an eruption of nerves?

You breathed in slowly as you wrapped your arms around his middle, breathing him in, letting his heartbeat drown out even the sound of the crashing ocean beside you.

It didn’t really matter.

This future will be one that you build.

Together.

[끝.]

78 notes · View notes

icyharrington · 2 years

Note

Writing prompt 142 with Eddie?

142. “Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

oooo finally an opportunity to write some pissed off eddie content teeheeeeee okok lets do it !!! PS I AM STILL TAKING PROMPT REQUESTS !! the og post is on my page so go check it out and send me one if you’re interested! :3 also sorry if this sucks im not used to writing multiple different fics/blurbs/whatevers in 1 day dfjgkdjfg

contains: jealous!eddie, mean eddie, dirty talk, degradation, fingering, general rough/mean dynamic (he still luvs you tho don’t worry uwu)

You’ve never seen Eddie this angry before, and your body is caught in limbo between utter terror and arousal.

So you’d fucked around with Steve Harrington- you and Eddie were on a break! And a well-deserved one, at that, considering that he’d been devoting all of his time to his fantasy campaigns rather than his real life, human girlfriend.

Eddie stands before you in his bedroom, his wide brown eyes unusually cold as they size you up. His arms are folded protectively in front of his graphic t-shirt, a prominent frown on his lips. “So what you’re telling me, (y/n)- and correct me if I’m wrong here- is that you let Steve Harrington’s dick inside you? Is that what I’m hearing right now?”

He sounds so sarcastic, yet so deadly serious; it sends an uncomfortably cool chill up your spine, and you’re unsure of what’s about to happen.

You look him dead in the eyes despite the anxiety it causes you, unwilling to back down. “Yes, Eddie, I did. I fucked Steve Harrington. So fucking what? We were on a goddamn break! It’s not like you ever wanted to fuck me while we were together.”

“That is such bullshit, (y/n),” Eddie seethes, taking a lingering step towards you. You stand frozen in place, your limbs unwilling to move from where they’re planted. “Every time you’re in the mood to fuck, it’s when I’m busy with Hellfire!”

“You’re always busy with Hellfire!” you scream at him, one-upping him by taking your own hopefully-menacing step in his direction.

“What about that night in my van when you turned me down? Or when you told me to stop being gross when I was feeling up your ass, hm?” He cocks his head threateningly, sauntering until he’s face-to-face with you.

“I just said that because I was in a bad mood, Eddie,” you murmur, feeling a little guilty about the exchange in retrospect. Usually you loved when Eddie would touch you, even by surprise- he’d just happened to catch you on a bad day. “I don’t think you’re gross.”

“Oh, really? ‘Cause I think you do. I think you find me downright disgusting. That’s why you ran off to go spread your legs for Steve Harrington- to find out what it’s like to fuck a real man. Right, (y/n)?” His eyes are welled with tears, though he’s good at keeping them at bay, with his face contorted into a scowl. “Making a fucking fool of me, huh? Dating the freak and fucking the jock. I bet you did it before our break, you fucking slut.”

He’s shaking, and you want to hug him, though you’re scared what will happen if you do. You mentally kick yourself for even allowing the secret to slip in the first place, but you never would’ve forgiven yourself if you hadn’t told the truth.

Now, though, you wonder if it would’ve been worth it to lie, just to prevent Eddie from believing all the other untrue parts his mind had invented. “Eddie, I would have never done that to you!”

He drags his eyes up and down your body, taking in the short skirt you’re wearing, paired with a pair of platform boots and a cropped sweater. When he speaks, he doesn’t reference anything you just said, evidently too wound up in his emotions to process much else. “Yeah, prancing around at school looking like that, huh? You dressed like that for Steve, didn’t you? Wanted him to take you in the bathroom and fuck you stupid?”

You whimper; you aren’t certain if he’s intentionally trying to make you horny right now, but for some unfathomable reason… you so are. “No, Eddie. I promise you, I don’t want Steve. It was a stupid mistake, Eddie, I swear! I was upset about us being on a break, and I just…I don’t know! I fucked up!”

“Yeah, you’re right, (y/n). It was a stupid mistake.” He takes in a breath, seeming to ponder on what his next action will be, before he shoves you back onto his bed. “Real fucking stupid. That’s my pussy you’re throwing around like a tramp, get it?”

He flips up your skirt, grasping your pussy between your legs and rubbing you harshly through the thin lace fabric of your panties. “Oh, I’m sure Steve Harrington could never get your pussy as pathetically wet as I can.”

You don’t say anything, moaning out at the rough motions of his callused hand against your soaked underwear; if he continued doing this for another minute or so, you’d probably cum without needing him to do anything else. He smacks your cheek lightly in response to your silence, narrowing his dark eyes at you. “Could he?”

“N-no, Eddie,” you whisper, letting out a strangled whine when he moves your panties to the side and presses two fingers into you abruptly. “I told you, it was a mistake. I want you, Eddie.”

“Could he make you feel as good as I do?” he demands, taking your jaw in one hand and jerking it so that you’re facing him. “Hm?”

You shake your head rapidly, a helpless look on your face as you silently beg for his forgiveness (which you know is already granted, though you don’t expect him to tell you that quite yet). “No, Eddie. Never.”

“Fuckin’ thought so,” he says as he continues to fuck you with his fingers, adding a third in order to stretch you wider. “You’re lucky I love you enough to teach you a lesson instead of kicking your ass to the curb.”

He’s not serious- at least about the kicking-you-to-the-curb bit, though the way he’s speaking to you is making your skin prickle over with warmth. There’s just something about your soft, sweet Eddie being mean that turns you on beyond belief.

Looking up at him with wide doe eyes, you hold back a knowing smirk. “You’re right, Eddie. I am lucky.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfiction #mine #joseph quinn #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things smut #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #eddie munson fic

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clan-ackerman · 2 years

Text

---mdni---

but like imagine ridding Dottore tho, thighs on each side of his hips, like ??¿ pls rail me, sir

----

he was busy. you were busy. he had tests and experiments to run. you had mora waiting to be delivered to Northland bank at Liyue on behalf of Pantalone.

you hadn't run into each other for almost a week. you just didn't have time for anything. until...

until you were going down the hall and patienly walking behind Pantalone as he was reciting all the expenses and all the money transfers - all the while you tried to mark them down on the paper in front of you - eyes never leaving it.

"Doctor." Pantalone said curtly passing by. As if that was your cue, you looked up.

"Regrator." Dottore answered in clipped tone, his eyes glued on you. He paused and then addressed Pantalone once more:

"Is your darling assistant awfully busy?" false sweetness was coating his words. His hand reaching for your chin.

"She's not for your experiments, Doctor." Pantalone pushed his hand away from you.

"Oh? Oh, but she is." Dottore leaned down closer to you.

"Miss?" Pantalone looked at you. You swallowed and gave unsure smile:

"It would be unfit of me to answer such question. Whatever you are implicating."

"It seems that my colleague isn't sharing you." Dottore sighed in disappointed and straightened to his full height.

"A shame. Truly." His hand reached to gently touch a piece of your hair and then with curt nod left:

"I must bid you farewell then."

Pantalone nodded and resumed to walk. You reculently followed your boss. Making couple of steps he said:

"You have five minutes. Go." He sent a look at you over his shoulder.

"thank you." You gasped out quietly and dashed into opposite direction, in hopes to chase down certain scientist.

Taking a turn on the right, you called out breathlessly:

"I thought I'm exclusively yours!"

At the other end of the hall, Dottore stopped and turned around to look at you.

"You know that i don't share." He answered, his tone gaining an edge - waiting on where this conversation is going.

"Are you sure? Back there it seemed different to me." you walked up to him.

"You are mine." He looked as you walked closer to him.

"Really?" you teased, now standing in front of him and looking up at his mask.

"Mine to build. Mine to break. Mine to protect." he said quietly.

"Hm? Are you sure?" you raised an eyebrow to mock him, small smirk playing on your lips.

"Mine to hunt. Mine to touch." his voice dropping lower as he slowly pushed his mask back up. His red eyes half lidded as he leaned closer to your lips:

"And exclusively mine to fuck."

"'ttore..." you whispered, your breath fanning over his lips. Just his body this close to yours made you weak in the knees and ready to do whatever he wanted.

----

"Ahh..." You moaned, your head falling back as you held up your skirt with one hand as the other one was trying to steady yourself behind on his thigh.

"Fuck.. that's it..." Dottore swallowed thickly his eyes falling to where you were sliding up and down on his cock.

"...missed you... missed t-this.." you leaned forward, your hair touching his chest.

"come here." Dottore's hand wrapped around the back of your neck to pull you down to his lips, making you place your hands on his naked chest that wasn't covered by the dress shirt that still hang around his shoulders. Your hips now going in slow circles on top of his.

For a moment you just stayed like that - your hips going in circles as one hand was sliding up to his teal coloured hair and messing it up even more - his hand squeezing your hip as other one splayed across your lower back to push you down whenever he thrusted up into you. Your breaths mingling in-between your lips.

"you're mine... aren't you..?" he clenched his teeth as he gave a particularly hard thrust.

"Ahh!" you moaned, voice raising in pitch: "your's 'Torre!"

"good girl." he smirked before his lips landed on yours. He wrapped his hands around you, feet planted firmly against bed as his hips pistoned into yours. Every single one of your moans were swallowed by him:

"i know you can... take it..." he smiled against your lips; groans and moans of his own slipping from his mouth.

"can't... 'torre... Gonna... " you cried out, nearing your orgasm as your head fell to his collar bone.

"eyes on me, princess" Dottore snarled, grabbing fistful of your hair and yanking your head up.

At one point there was a knock on the bedroom door, but you didn't hear it - your senses overtaken by the man beneath you. For a second Dottore's red eyes darted to the door as a wicked smile spread across his face.

Roughly pushing you up by your shoulders, he straightened you up.

"ride me..." he said, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips. your hands rested in front of you on his abs, feeling them contract as he was nearing his own orgasm.

His one hand grabbed the hem of your skirt and held it up against your hip as his other gently traced your side and ended up on your clit. Expert finger tips rubbed quick circles, making your thighs tremble at his sides.

Another knock.

Your own moans and Dottore's heavy breaths drowned out all other sound.

"wanna come, sweetness?" He swallowed thickly.

"with you.. only... with you..." you nodded frantically, eyes locking with his. at this given moment they seemed such dark ruby red - almost blood like. if only you'd know that it's his favorite answer.

with sultry smile, Dottore pushed you harder down on his cock.

"do the thing.. i like..." he mumbled as his thumb did quick circles on your clit, alternating between couple of harsher flicks. whenever he did that, you clamped harder around his cock.

"f-fuck... princess..." his hand grabbed your tight.

"'torre ...!" you squeaked out his name. with on last thrust, his back arched off the bed as he came. the warm feeling of his cum and the way he was bitting his lip - triggered your own orgasm as your eyes rolled in the back of your head and trembling thighs locked around his. with one last thrust in your cunt he sent you falling down on his chest.

"Doctor, have you see-" a voice followed the click of the doors.

you froze on top of your lover as your eyes looked up at your boss, who turned on his heel to face away from you two.

in a rush you tried to get off of Dottore, your knee clumsily bumping against the side of his ribs.

"princess..." Dottore hissed beneath you, his hands flying to your hips and securing you in iron grip.

"Miss." Pantalone cleared his throat, back still turned towards you two. You were dieing of embarrassment and grabbing Dottore's fancy lab coat to wrap yourself in something.

"I gave you five minutes." Pantalone scolded.

"Lord.. I-I.." you tried to find words how to explain this. Dottore reached for his mask and put it on - slightly higher on his forehead. with dissatisfied tsk he sat up, swung his legs over the edge of bed and wrapped one strong hand around your waist and lifted you off of his cock just to playfully throw you aside on the bed.

you squeaked at feeling, your hands flying to cover your mouth. sending a devilish smile your way, he stood up and tucked himself away, but not bothering to zip up his pants.

"Your assistant is just too tasty, Regrator. I just had to steal her away for a bit longer. She's such a refined... taste." even though Dottore was speaking to Pantalone, he leaned to place a chaste kiss on your forehead.

"Unfortunately, I am a greedy man and don't share what's mine." Dottore straightened and yanked the coat off your shoulders, making you scramble to cover yourself.

Slinging the coat over his shoulders Dottore walked up to Pantalone and guiding him of the room said:

"She'll be ready in five."

As he turned around to close the doors behind both of them, you could see how his hungry eyes disappeared behind that mask that still had lipstick stains on.

#dottore #dottore genshin #dottore smut #dottore x reader #dottore x you #genshin Impact dottore #il dottore

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hugz4hoon · 3 days

Text

stargazing - s.j.y.

summary — you and jake are best friends. nothing more, right?

pairing — best friend!jake x fem!reader

genre — fluff and slight angst

wc — 1.2k

a/n — wrote this at 17 with park jisung in mind lol but i fine tuned it a bit so that it fit jakey jake :p kinda wanna write a part 2 for this idk tho

It was 3am when you heard a knock on your window. You ignored it at first, thinking it was just the wind. When it happened three more times, you begrudgingly got out of bed to see what it was.

Who the hell is knocking at my window this early in the morning?

You get to the window and see Jake, your childhood best friend, sitting on a tree branch in front of your window, and he’s doing that thing. That awkward smile he does when he knows he did something he shouldn’t have. At this point it’s his trademark, something that he’s been doing since you met for the first time at five years old. The first time he used it on you was when he accidentally smashed the lego castle you worked on for what felt like forever. He made it up to you later by helping rebuild it, and ever since, you've been inseparable.

However, you've grown to hate when he uses that trick on you because that little smile always makes your heart flip, and you hate how easily it affects you. You open the window for him while bracing yourself for the cold breeze to pass into your room. “Jake, what the hell are you doing here?” you ask in a slightly angry tone, although you could never stay mad at him for long.

He sheepishly grins at you, “I don’t know… I got bored and somehow I ended up here.”

“Well, get down! Don’t you know how dangerous this is? You could get hurt, idiot!”

“Oh? Wow, didn’t know you cared about me that much,” he smirks.

You roll your eyes. “I don’t. I just don’t want to be liable if your dumbass falls off.”

Jake grabs his chest to feign pain while holding onto the tree with his other hand, “Fuck, Y/N, you always know how to humble me.” With those words he starts climbing higher up the tree. You stare at him dumbfounded. He glances back down at you with a grin,

“Aren’t you coming?”

You're not sure why, but your legs move to follow him up the tree before you can fully process what's happening.

He jumps across the short gap from the top of the tree to the roof of your house and holds out a hand to aid you in doing the same. When you both safely land on the rooftop, you lie on your backs next to each other to look at the stars. No words are spoken, just comfortable silence as you lay there. Eventually, your yawn breaks the silence and Jake looks at you tenderly and does that thing again. God, it’s like he knows how weak it makes you.

“Sorry for waking you so early in the morning,” he says to you quietly.

“Yeah, you should be sorry,” you whisper to him with fake anger in your voice, “but it’s okay. I like this.” You don’t know why you’re whispering; it just feels right. As if speaking too loud would break the haze you two are in right now.

When you look back at the sky, you both start to point out different stars and constellations to each other. At some point, you point out another constellation excitedly, but he doesn’t respond. You frown when you don't hear anything from him, and glance at him to see what’s going on. Instead of finding him sleeping next to you as you expected, he’s wide awake, staring at you with a small smile filled with fondness. You could almost swear you saw stars in his eyes.

“Jake?”

“Hm?”

“What is it?” You ask him in the softest tone he’s ever heard from you.

“Huh?” He’s lost in a daze. He doesn’t even process your question until seconds later, and when he does, he quickly snaps out of it.

“Oh. Nothing.”

When he realizes he got caught, he swiftly turns back to the sky. You continue to look at him with a confused smile on your face, as a faint pink tint starts to appear on the apples of his cheeks. Still unsure of what just happened, you slowly turn back to face the stars.

His breathing becomes rapid as he realizes what just happened. His mind races as he processes it. What if she knows? Did she realize I have feelings for her? Was it too obvious this time? But he pushes those thoughts out of his head. For now he just thanks the gods above that you didn’t question him. It would’ve been incredibly hard to come up with an excuse right now.

As the first hints of dawn paint the sky in pink and gold, you and Jake lay side by side, gazing up at the stars in a comfortable silence. The weight of unspoken words lingers between you, a palpable tension that neither of you dares to break. Lost in the moment, you steal a glance at Jake's profile, bathed in the warm light of dawn. Your heart flutters at the sight of him, a familiar warmth spreading through your chest as you fawn at the way his features are softened by the early morning light.

Just as you're about to turn away, Jake's gaze flickers from the sky to you, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sends shivers down your spine. In that fleeting moment, you catch a glimpse of something unspoken, something that makes your heart race with a mixture of hope and fear.

"Y/N," he murmurs, his voice barely more than a whisper, "there's something I need to tell you."

Your breath catches in your throat, anticipation bubbling up in your chest as you await the words you've longed to hear for years. In that moment, as the world holds its breath in hopeful expectancy, you find yourself wishing that maybe, just maybe, he feels the same way you do. But before he can say another word, the distant sound of a car engine rumbles in the distance, cutting through the stillness of the early morning. With a heavy sigh, Jake tears his gaze away from yours, his expression unreadable as he turns back to the sky.

"Nevermind," he says quietly, the words hanging in the air like a promise unfulfilled. And just like that, the moment is gone, slipping through your fingers like grains of sand as the world awakens around you.

“I should go now, it’s getting late.” He sighs as he moves to get up.

“Okay.” You whisper softly, hoping he doesn’t notice the pleading look in your eyes, and that he would hopefully change his mind and linger a little longer in your presence.

“Don’t get kidnapped on your way home,” you add, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

He sighed a laugh, the sound barely audible as it escaped from his lips, tinged with melancholy. “Right. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Yeah. Bye, Jake.” You don’t look him in the eyes as you bid him goodbye, scared that if you do, the dam behind your eyes will break.

He searches your face for any emotion. He wants you to stop him from leaving. For you to grab his hand and keep him next to you forever. But your eyes don’t budge, still keeping them on anything but him. As he realizes you’re not going to look at him, he takes his leave. “Bye, Y/N.”

You watch as Jake goes to climb down the tree, his features glowing in the hues of the sunrise. And just like that, he slips from your fingertips once again, leaving you to wonder if he’ll ever feel the way you do about him.

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ifimdreaming · 1 year

Note

i love your writing! any chance of writing anything for John Marino i think he deserves some love<3

blurb!

needy

john marino x reader || fluff!

summary: john gets home from practice and isnt meet with his usual greeting

author's note: hope u enjoy ! even tho it is short and sweet

word count: 0.5k

you had been lying in bed watching a movie when john got home from a late night practice.

normally you greet him at the door with a kiss, but it was getting really late, so decide to just stay in your room until he came to you.

“hello? Im home!” he calls out to you, unsure if you were there or not.

“in here” you respond, too tired and lazy to get up and still distracted by your phone.

he enters the bedroom, turns on the light, “hey baby” he says happily as he walks towards the bed where you were lying.

“mm can u turn that off? Its too bright” you say as you squint your eyes and continue scrolling on your phone not looking up at all.

john complies, turning off the light and begins making his way over to you, standing right above you. he looks down at what you’re doing and he grabs your phone from your hands, placing it on the bedside table.

before you get the chance to react, you suddenly feel the blankets being ripped off your body and the bed shifts down slightly as he begins to climb in.

“erhh get off me!” you squeal as john gently plops right on top of you and squishes your entire body underneath his weight.

“I can’t breathe jj…” you say squirming underneath his chest and your words are mumbled.

“hm? what was that? Can’t quite hear you” he responds as he is tackling and squishing you even more underneath him, after you unsuccessfully tried to move him off of you.

“johnny!!” you move his arm from over your head and squeeze your head out from his armpit, finally getting a little bit of air. he laughs in response and flips you over so you are now on top of him, and you sit up on his lap.

“What was that for?” you say heavily breathing and situating yourself, fixing your hair and untwisting your shirt.

he places his hands on either side of your hips and leans in to place a gentle but passionate kiss against your lips. you deepen the kiss and lightly press yourself down further into his lap.

he begins massaging your hips with his hands and you detach your lips from his, only long enough to lift his shirt over his head. He eagerly attaches your lips to his again as soon as you take it off of him.

“i missed you baby” he says between kisses, “oh yeah? so you decide to almost suffocate me?” you reply jokingly and he sits up with you still on top of him.

He laughs at your remark and and stares at you lovingly before placing a soft kiss against your lips.

“needed my kiss” he responds after pulling away and you just shake your head.

you grab his face in your hands and pull him in, just as eager to love on him again.

#john marino #johnny marino #nj devils #nj devils imagine #new jersey devils #new jersey #nhl fluff #nhl imagine #nhl #request #hockey x reader #hockey imagine #hockey blurb #ifimdreamingwrites #john marino imagine #john marino blurb #anon asks

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andkisses · 11 months

Text

♡ you can't sleep | enhypen ♡

ot7!enha headcanon: you can't sleep, and what they do to help you fall asleep

♡ ot7 x gn!reader | wc. 2.3k ♡ genres/tropes: fluff! ♡ mentions of/warnings: some pet names sprinkled throughout ? not much beyond that ♡ a/n: bulletpoint format, a little something for every member <3 small preview of jungwon's and the rest below the cut ^^ ♡ masterlist ♡

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ jungwon

daily debrief

this isn’t even a “oh you can’t sleep” thing

he does it every day if he can

there’s a whole routine he’s worked out

you lay in bed on your side, facing each other

the comforter pulled up to your chins and you’re all tucked in nice and cozy

sometimes he has a hand lazily thrown over a hip

sometimes he just holds your hand

he’ll always have you go first

and he’ll listen intently as you divulge everything about your day

the good, the bad

the boring and the outstanding

and jungwon always knows the kinds of questions to ask to keep you talking

because even though you know he loves u to the moon and back

it’s hard talking abt yourself and your day sometimes, opening up and being vulnerable like that

but having jungwon so interested, with his eyes big and shining

and his smile as he encourages you to keep going

opening up is as easy as paging through a book

and once you’re finished

(and sleepy, lbr, eyes blinking to stay awake)

it’s jungwon’s turn

but he knows you’re extra really truly sleepy now

(this was his plan all along–it’s why he makes you go first every time)

so he begins with his day, in a soft, quiet voice

he’ll hold your hand and rub his thumb across your knuckles

or push hair out of your eyes and behind your ears

and when he notices your blinks get longer, eyes staying shut

and your breath slows

and you start answering questions with “hm?” or “mhm” rather than actual words

jungwon stops talking

he takes you in–peaceful, relaxed

it’s everything he wishes for you–everything he believes you deserve

he’ll pull you close, arm around your waist, tucking you beneath his chin

and seeing you okay? safe in his arms?

it’s all jungwon needs to have a peaceful sleep

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ heeseung

sings a lullaby

are we surprised? n o

this man is humming or singing all the time when you’re awake

copying pieces of music like a songbird

so when you can’t sleep??

it is now his personal mission to help you relax

will prop himself up with pillows and hold out his arms, beckoning you to come snuggle in

and you get flustered bc omg just let me suffer this is embarrassing

but heeseung won’t have it

you’re his love, his dear

he’s going to do everything in his power to help you sleep and sleep peacefully

and ofc u fold bc being in his arms is your favorite place tbh

so you crawl over, snuggle into his chest and under his chin, pulling the blanket up with you

his warm arms wrap around you, and heeseung sighs bc this? you in his arms? holding you close? is all he needs

but this isn’t about you

he asks you for a song recommendation and it can literally be anything

a n y th i n g

the doofiest goofiest song and he’d still sing it beautiful for you with perhaps too much seriousness, which in turn makes the whole situation even goofier

and it gets you to unwind because he really can sing

and he can really make you laugh

then when you run out of ideas or go quiet, he’ll start singing his own choices

maybe it’s just a little bit

maybe it’s throwing it back with a you belong with me

it eventually gets to the point where he’s unsure if you’re awake or not–even tho you’re breaths are slow and you’re completely relaxed in his arms

but he keeps humming soft little tunes, things that aren’t even songs yet, just to make sure you’re 100% asleep, even as his own eyes pull shut and he can hear his dreams calling

you’re his everything–so of course he’ll do anything for you

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ jay

back rubs

a tale as old as time tbh

but if it works, it works

at the beginning of your relationship you did have to ask

and it was SO EMBARRASSING FOR YOU

like why should u bother your bf’s sleep just bc u can’t :(

but jay never ever once made you feel bad for it

he felt worse that you couldn’t fall asleep on your own and that you struggled bc he knows how busy your day is

and if you’re that busy, you must be stressed and that’s what the root problem is

also… he’d never tell you this

but that you trusted him to help you fall asleep???

the biggest bestest ego boost ever

and as you two progress together

it gets to the point you don’t have to ask

jay’s figured out the signs of when you can’t sleep

so sometimes you’ll be there, on your side facing the wall, begging for sleep or maybe lightning to come strike through the ceiling or the floor to open up on your side of the bed

bc tbh anything would be better than struggling to fall asleep atp

then, you feel a warm hand coat your back up and down in sweet, relaxing patterns

and you sigh, the goofiest love struck smile on your face because you’re dating the sweetest most attentive man ever

he’ll notice when you’re cuddled up together too

(bc u think it’s more difficult to hide your struggles when you’re in his arms but bffr YOU’RE IN HIS ARMS)

tucked against his chest his jay’s favorite way to hold you

esp when you can’t sleep

because he can rub your back and lean against the top of your head AND GIVE YOU LITTLE KISSES

sometimes he’ll sing or ask you goofy ass questions like “would u rather rent a house on saturn or stay at a resort on mars”

and you giggle because they take you off guard

but his steady hand rubbing soothing patterns up and down your spine is all you really need

everything else is just the perfect bonus

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ jake

tells a story

it’s a unique excuse to talk lol

but he’s so good at it and you love hearing him speak so it’s truly a win-win

you’ll confess that you can’t sleep

(sometimes you really do try to sleep, and other times you simply skip to asking jake)

and at first jake is very much ☹️ bc wdym his bby can’t sleep

but once he’s past the shock you not being okay (even tho it’s just not being able to sleep he’s dramatic lol)

he’ll pull you close and start chatting

sometimes it’s a really story about his day or something that happened to him in the past

or maybe even a problem or situation he’s facing and everything he’s doing to solve it

sometimes tho

and these are your favorite times

he’ll make up a story on the spot

and they’re always overblown and absolutely ridiculous

like a prince who has to travel to another planet to rescue his loved one

or a fish who has to do everything they can to plug a whole in the bottom of the ocean before it all drains out

and they never make sense and he retcons all the time when he realizes it doesn’t make sense

but he’ll go on and on, one arm safe around you, the other painting invisible pictures just in front of you in the dark

and once jake realizes you’ve fallen asleep, with you curled into him and your hand tucked beneath your chin

he’ll shimmy down until you’re both comfy and under the covers

and he’ll brush hair out of your face

jake takes a moment to watch you sleep before closing his own eyes and taking a deep breath

he can’t help but smile and feel proud

because you could have the worst day ever

but you find yourself safe and relaxed in his arms

and knowing that you trust him like that??

his favorite thing of all

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ sunghoon

holds you close

physical touch

he may keep a polite close yet still some space distance in public

but at home

ESPECIALLY if you’re struggling with something

societal decorum goes out the window

this man is CLINGY

you're surprised he hasn’t started calling u teddy bear with how much he holds onto you

but at times like these? when you’re eyes hurt you’ve been awake for so long but you can’t sleep still

you are so very thankful for your bf

he’ll talk himself up–aren’t u so happy u have a bf with such strong arms to hold u?

but the reality is

c’mere closer i can’t say this too loud

he’s so whipped for you he’s dizzy

having you in his arms every night is like a dream. he won a lottery with an endless payout. heaven on earth. his friends are sick of him talking abt this good god please we get it sHUT UP

just holding you makes him calm down; he finds his inner peace knowing you’re safe

and when he’s calm, you find it seeps into you too

sometimes you’re on your side spooning (and ofc he’s big spoon)

other times he’ll prop himself up with pillows and the headboard and hold you in his arms on your lap

either way he holds you secure against his frame, his warmth acting like a silent lullaby

he’ll rub your back, or gentle fingers up and down your arm

nuzzle into your neck or the top of your head

whispers pretty things to you, about you or you together or pretty things in the world

the atmosphere he creates is so tender and sweet and even after your toughest days

you always relax enough to drift off

and sunghoon always knows when you do–he feels you completely relax in his arms, slump against him, your breaths slow and even and peaceful

and sunghoon knows that, at least in this aspect, he’s done very good

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ sunoo

makes you get up

you're PISSED at first

bc tf u mean get out of bed? im trying to SLEEP??

but then he starts explaining how you should only ever sleep or rest in bed that way your brain understands that going to bed = sleep

and he does this as he makes the room as uncomfortable as possible

pulling off the covers and the sheets

pulling the chain on the nightstand light

poking your arm which was cute the first two times

and you’re just there like (￢_￢;) as he’s talking and all (･ᴗ<)☆ as he continues to chatter on abt the scientific evidence related to sleep habits

eventually you end up out on the couch, knees to your chest facing each other, talking about any and everything

you spill abt smth that’s been bothering you at work

(and sunoo’s heart nearly explodes bc omg u trust him and his opinion on the subject???!)

and sunoo tells you abt his day, this cafe he wants to try with you

(the way he tacks on with you to the end of talking abt the cafe makes your heart nearly explode as if u aren’t already dating)

(simp)

((he’s one too it’s okay ;))

at some point sunoo procures this lavender lotion that smells amazing and sunoo says it helps promote good sleep

and he’ll rub it into your hands, like a mini massage, as he asks you more questions about your day or something you like

and you end up leaning against the back of the couch, watching sunoo talk about something as he massages your hands and wrists

you don’t even realize you’re eyes have fallen shut until you feel sunoo poke your cheek

when you open them, he’s right in front of you, noses only a moment apart

he moves forward, a sweet, chaste kiss on your lips

“let’s get you back to bed, hm?”

and you shuffle back to bed, slipping beneath the covers, out as soon as your head hits the pillow

sunoo simply snuggles up beside you, holding your hand and tucking his head next to yours

he's happy–over the moon–that he helped his love fall asleep

and he'd do it every night if he had to

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ niki

games

“you can’t sleep either? want to help me pass this level?”

he's trying to three star smth on a rhythm game and passes you the phone lol

you think he’s being ridiculous bc shouldn’t we at least TRY to sleep ??

but now you’re brain is caught on the idea of competition–three staring the level AND beating niki at his own game, literally

so you take turn passing the phone back and forth, both of you failing to three star that particular song on hard

and both of you refuse to go down to normal or easy

the blue light from his phone casts a glow around the two of you

propped up against the headboard, shoulder to shoulder, your head on his shoulder and his head on yours

eventually you both get tired of that song and end up picking songs for each other to play

“the one who fails the most has to buy lunch tomorrow”

he thinks you’re being ridiculous with this bet but he would literally do anything for you

he didn’t expect you to say yes to playing, bc he knew you valued sleep

but he could tell you weren’t feeling sleeping yet and would just be struggling

and you’re really REALLY good at rhythm games

he could watch you play forever

and it ends up that way somehow

his phone in your hands as you find a series of songs you’re really good at

niki’s arm that was between you ended up around your shoulder, pulling you closer

and then… just like that

the home screen music is playing on loop and the both of you bolt awake when his phone slips from your hands

you both stare at each other for a moment, blinking, too recently pulled from sleep to know what occurred

then he takes it, exits out, locks the screen and sets it on the side table

you poke his cheek, a grin on your face

“you have to buy lunch tomorrow~~”

niki smiles, snuggling back down into the covers at your side

“yeah i guess i do”

#kdiarynet #kwritersworld #kflixnet #k-labels #enhypen headcanon #enhypen fluff #enhypen #fluff #headcanons #all

119 notes · View notes

mayhem-neverending · 5 months

Text

The Big Bad Wolf

Part XI

Word Count: 4,228

Warnings: Mentions of death

Note: Lights, Camera, Action! Don't mind the beginning, please and thanks. And Obito is in this part, don't worry.

Once again sitting across from him, Kakashi had the space to collect himself. He was internally reeling from your warmth and delicious smell, the ghost of your touch lingering in his hair. You appeared largely unaffected, but happy with the interaction.

A buzzing from his pocket stole his attention. He pulled it out and opened it, seeing a string of notifications. Two were from Genma, one was from Guy. He opened Guy’s first.

Rival!! I just heard you came to your paramour’s rescue!!! Is it true!!?? You are truly HEROIC!!

Kakashi opted to ignore that for the moment and opened Genma’s messages.

I thought you said you guys werent together

does that mean ur coming to my bday party too?

An irritated sigh exited his nose. His irritation clashed, however, with the excitement he felt from your conversation. He tucked his phone away without bothering to answer and only smiled at your questioning brow.

“How did Obito like meeting Hikaru?” He asked pleasantly.

“I think he was a little unsure at first, but he came around towards the end I think,”

“That sounds about right,”

“I really need you to get him a phone. I would hate for me or Hikaru to be sick and I don’t have any way to get a hold of him,”

“Makes sense. I’ll look into it tomorrow,”

“Thanks,”

You mirrored Kakashi as he sipped his sake. He looked around briefly before asking, “You don’t happen to have any of that food you were talking about earlier, do you?”

“No, I left it all with Obito. Are you hungry?”

“A little,”

“Well, I’m sure Obito’ll be happy to see you,” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Kicking me out?”

“Never. I just think it would be good for him to see you. He’s been doing a lot better, and I think he’d be proud to show you his progress,”

He thought for a moment. “Not tonight. I’ll make some time tomorrow though, okay?”

You grinned. “That’d be great, Kakashi.”

“And you’re welcome to my fridge, if you want. I don’t really have the energy to cook right now,”

“What do you have?”

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Go look,”

He kept his drink in his hand while he got up to look. You followed him, your own drink in one hand and phone in the other. You set them down and hoisted yourself onto the counter. You settled yourself and opened up your phone. You hadn't heard it go off but you figured you might as well check.

You were glad you did. There was a message from Hina, your cousin… And a missed call from Toma, but you weren’t going to give that one any of your energy.

hey no worries here im with my aunt. the one w dementia near the border. Ill lyk if anything happens but im sure itll all be okay

thanks for worrying abt me tho. r u coming when I give birth still? im due in like 2 weeks

“Fuck,”

Kakashi looked back at you from where he was bent over, placing a bake-able tupperware container in the oven. “Hm? What’s wrong,”

“A. I forgot I told Hina I would be there when she gave birth, and B. She didn’t take my warning seriously… The upside is that she isn’t near her husband’s compound, though. She’s on the western border, closest to us.”

“You should tell her to stay there. It’ll be easier to extract her in case of an emergency.”

You did just that, and told her you would try to find a sitter for Hikaru so you could be there for her. To her it was just a loving family member there to help her; for you it was an extra set of eyes and capable hands there to protect her. If the Zen’in Clan stirred up trouble, like they always did when things didn’t go in their favor, it would compromise the safety of her and her baby.

“Would I be able to take off for that?” You asked Kakashi, who was leaning against the counter opposite you, his feet crossed at the ankle in front of him.

“For her baby’s birth?”

“Yeah,”

He tilted his chin down and his thin brows furrowed. “I don’t know, Y/n. It would be incredibly dangerous for you to go into a country that is in such a politically tumultuous state right now,”

You grumbled, but didn’t push the subject further. You would have to play it by ear, anyway.

The next morning your son woke you extra early. He wasn't allowed to go to school until twenty-four hours after his fever had subsided, so you had convinced your grandma to take him for the day before you had gone to bed.

You got up slowly and went about your usual routine. The morning was incredibly bright from the sun reflecting off the surface of the white snow. Before you left, you tried to find a pair of sunglasses, but only found Hikaru’s half-bent ones. He didn’t care for your attempt at putting them in his toy bin and took them from you, smashing them on his face until they balanced enough for him to walk around with them.

Your grandma was closer to the forest than the daycare was, so you had taken a little extra time getting out the door. You styled your hair differently and chose a nicer set of warm clothes - a more fitted sweater and jeans. You wouldn’t admit it, but you knew deep down who you were trying to look nice for.

The walk took longer than you had anticipated since you had forgotten to factor in Hikaru’s desire to stomp around in the freshly fallen snow. You let him dig his toes in and drag his feet and shove his little hands in it in wonder; choosing to be patient and appreciate the sheer joy lighting up his chubby face.

Waiting in the front window, your grandmother watched as you two approached until you opened the front gate. She opened the door and called for Hikaru with a delighted smile.

“My boy! I haven’t seen you in what feels like 50 years!” She exclaimed dramatically.

He wasn’t giving her any attention, opting to plop straight down into the snow and giggle. You shook your head with a smile and hoisted him up, effectively covering yourself in the snow that came with him.

You handed him off to your grandma, told her you loved her and kissed Hikaru on both cheeks, repeating the same phrase to him. You waved goodbye and made a swift exit.

Obito was worried you might not make it But there he was, standing in his window, watching you take dramatically large steps as you trudged through the deep snow. The scene put a massive grin on his face. He courteously opened his front door for you when got close enough.

“Good morning,” you untied your boots on the front step, sliding your feet out and hopping into the cottage.

“Good morning!” He replied cheerily, shutting the door behind you.

“Somebody’s in a good mood,”

He thought you were being sarcastic, but you smiled up at him warmly, even if it didn’t quite reach your eyes. You smacked the snow off your boots and pulled them inside, letting him close the door behind you. Instead of your usual route to the kitchen, you veered off the path and tossed yourself on the couch.

“Walking in that snow really wore me out,”

He playfully rolled his eyes. “So, that means you get to slack off on the clock?”

“Of course,” you patted the seat next to you with a little smile. “Come slack off with me?”

He settled onto the cushion next to you, turning his body so that he was facing you. A comfortable silence surrounded the two of you for a few short minutes. He studied your profile while you stared at the fire, obviously lost in thought.

“I had an interesting evening after I left yesterday,”

“Oh?”

“My ex’s new girlfriend harassed me outside of the apothecary, then Kakashi shows up and tells me that Akujia has outlawed all forms of chakra control!”

“Shit, are you serious?” he leans back, his smile slipping.

“Dead,”

“That is not good,”

You nodded in agreement. “My cousin, Hina, still lives there, but when I told her she should consider moving here she just kinda blew me off. She doesn’t - I don’t know how to put this without seeming like an ass - but she… lac- has chosen.. not to.. hone.. her critical thinking skills. God I sound like a shitty person, but in short, I’m genuinely worried about her and her baby,”

“Is she a chakra-user?”

“No, but her baby is the heir of the Zen’in clan,”

His brows shot up and he made a face like he was impressed. “No shit? Good for her,”

His comment lightened the mood, and you threw him a playful smile. “I know, right? She’s really got it made. Her husband not only loves her, like, intensely, but he’s loaded, attractive, and with the servants, the girl never even has to lift a finger,”

“Hm, does sound pretty nice,” he rested the side of his head on the back of the couch. “Is that what you want?”

“Which part?”

You enjoyed your view of him. His black hair, which needed another trim, was still moussed up a bit from sleep, and the depth of his eyes was revealed in the stream of sunlight illuminating him. The warmth of the sun softened his sharp features, and he looked absolutely charming the way he was smiling at you. He licked his lips before he spoke, drawing your attention to them. Despite being slightly chapped, you thought they looked awfully silky. You briefly wondered what he would do if you reached out and touched them.

“Attractive, loaded, the servants - is that what you want in a man?”

The seriousness of his tone had you giggling. You shook your head ‘no’. “The love part is the most important to me. I don’t particularly want servants, but money is definitely a perk. I like feeling financially secure, for sure,”

“Attractiveness?”

You raised your brow. He was looking at you attentively, like this was a very important conversation. It made you feel a little weird, but you answered honestly, “In general, I find a lot of people attractive, but in an objective way. I rarely find people that I’m attracted to. And that’s what’s important to me. Someone could tell me they don’t think who I’m dating is all that good looking, but it doesn’t matter all that much to me, because I’m attracted to them as a whole person, y’know? Not just their looks,”

He nodded like you had just given him some profound insight. You, now curious because of his strange behavior, turned the question around on him. “What is important to you in a woman?”

You rested your cheek on your fist. He looked a bit scattered at having been asked the same thing. “Uh, well,”

He cleared his throat and looked away from you. In a flat tone, he muttered, “Dunno, haven’t really thought about it,”

A frown tugged at your lips and you looked at him in puzzlement. “In all your life, you haven’t really thought about it?”

With downcast eyes, he replied, “That’s a conversation for another day,”

You nodded, accepting his answer for the time being. You stood and stretched your arms over your head. “Well, it’s pretty late, how about brunch?”

“Whatever you want,” he replied with a shrug, easing back into his lighter tone.

“I love it when you say that,” you winked.

He followed you into the kitchen in his normal fashion, leaning against the counter-top and taking up your precious little prep space. It didn’t matter how many times you had to move him around the kitchen while you worked, he always stayed if he wasn’t preoccupied with anything else.

He made himself comfortable, folding his arms over his chest and leaning heavily into the counter. He looked intimidating like this sometimes; his mouth set in a firm line while he silently watched.

He wore a black t-shirt, rather than his usual long-sleeve, and you wondered once again about his arms being two completely different colors. What really caught your attention, though, was the muscle definition. You had a hard time tearing your gaze away from the well defined-lines; only narrowly avoiding him catching you by quickly reaching beside him to grab a cutting board.

“I’m thinking extra protein today. How about Eggs Benedict, but make it with chicken cause we don’t have ham?”

“Hm, as long as you fry the chicken like you did last time, I’m game,”

“Oh, that was a new recipe. You liked that?”

“Oh, yeah,” he replied mischievously. “I liked it, ‘like a lot’,”

“You little shit,” you said with a grin.

He laughed at your expense, but you enjoyed his teasing. He was absolutely wonderful to be around whenever he wore his goofy grin. For the first time, you blushed when he aimed it at you.

Feeling a little hot and a host of butterflies in your stomach, you looked away from him and busied yourself with starting brunch. He talked to you about a new quilting project he was sketching out while you pulled everything you needed out. He was animated, drawing the shapes in the air with his finger in an attempt to better convey his vision.

You told him to just get the paper he drew it on with a laugh, and he went off into the living room in search of it among the scraps. You shook your head to yourself, wondering how you could be so happy just listening about his excitement over his project.

You were beginning to remove the bones from the raw chicken when your phone started to ring loudly. Your bag was in the living room so you asked Obito to grab it really quickly for you. He trotted over with it and you asked him who it was.

“Uh, Hina. That’s your cousin, right?”

Anxiety flared in your chest, “Answer it, put it on speaker, please,”

He answered and clicked the speaker button, standing close to you and holding it near your face so you could speak clearly into it. You answered, “Hey,”

“Hi,” she answered in an unnaturally high, broken pitch and you immediately stopped what you were doing, your body stilling while your heart-rate increased.

“Hina?” You asked slowly.

“I-” she cut herself off with a sudden burst of loud, uncontrollable sobbing.

You dropped your knife and pushed Obito over with your hip to get access to the sink. You turned it on and called her name again, but it only caused her to let out a guttural sob that pierced straight through your chest. You hurriedly washed your hands and wiped them on your jeans, grabbing the phone from Obito.

“Hey, hey, Hina? What’s going on?”

You heard shaky breathing on the other end and assumed she was attempting to get enough control to speak, but only seconds later she let out another sharp cry. Your wide eyes met with Obito’s. Something bad happened, obviously, and your mind conjured up image after cruel image. Your hands began to shake almost imperceptibly as adrenaline coursed through you.

“Hina, sweetie. I’m right here. Please, can you tell me what’s going on?”

“I-”

“Take a deep breath with me?”

She made a noise and you started. “In… out…”

After a single breath, she screeched, “They killed him!”

Her uncontrollable sobs were let loose once again, cut up by sharp, ragged breaths. “The. Oh God..-”

On the other end you heard retching, and your hand unconsciously covered your mouth. Your heart dropped into your stomach and your shaking worsened. Your feet were glued to the floor, eyes unfocused on the cabinet in front of you. All of your senses dulled except your hearing, focusing so you could catch any words she tried to get out between heaves. Every noise she made was amplified and rang in your ears.

In between her heaving she breathlessly got out, “The clan… The meeting..”

You assumed she finished vomiting and you listened to her struggle to breathe in and out. “They massacred the clan! Javi’s dead!”

“Where are you?” you asked urgently.

“Still-still with my aunt,”

“Stay there, do you hear me?”

“But-”

“Stay. There. I will come get you,”

There was complete silence on the other end of the line. You waited with baited breath, staring into nothing.

You had never heard her sound smaller than when she asked, “How long?”

You had to pause for a moment; your mind blanking as her voice gutted you. As quickly as you could, you did the math in your head, your heart aching for her. “Two days,”

She sniffled, and a tremor of fear rang through her voice as she asked, “You promise?”

“I promise,” you replied with sincerity.

After a beat, you calmly said, “I have to make a couple calls, okay?”

“I’m scared,” she cried.

“I’m so, so sorry, Hina. This should have never happened to you, and I know it’s hard, but you need to stay as calm as you can for your baby, okay?”

She cried softly on the other end. After a long pause she finally said, “Okay,”

“I’m hanging up now. I’ll be in contact with you later.” You hit the ‘end call’ button, almost missing from the shaking of your hands.

Immediately, you called Kakashi. You finally regained the ability to move, and paced up and down the room as the phone rang. It rang and rang.. and went to voicemail. You took the phone away from your ear and fervently hit the call button again. Your pace increased as it rang and you held the phone in an iron-grip.

He answered. “Hey, I can’t really-”

“They killed the Zen’in clan,” you blurted.

Before he had a chance to respond, you hurriedly gave him the short version of your previous call. There was muted talking in the background and a short, agonizing silence before he spoke to you again.

“Listen, I can’t just send you out on your own. This isn’t just a matter of family; the Zen’in are important people and your cousin is carrying the last living member as far as we’re aware. I have no doubt that someone will come after her to finish the job they started if they find out she’s still alive,”

“Obito can come with me,” you rushed out before your mind could even process.

“Y/n. I can’t. He’s on house arrest, the council-”

“They don’t have to know. Besides, he’s stronger than the rest of the jounin, and everyone’s busy. Please, Kakashi,” you reasoned.

You looked at Obito out of the corner of your eye, and slowly registered that his eyes were glossed over. He likely wasn’t hearing any of your conversation.

He let out a frustrated sigh. “Y/n,”

Hina’s broken sobs reverberated in your mind, and a sense of desperation rose from your chest into your throat.

Your voice broke as you begged, “Please,”

Silence, and then, “Go home, change into your uniform, and bring your gear. Pack a separate civilian outfit. Meet me back at Obito’s when you’re done. No more than two hours; this has to be done quickly,”

“Yes, sir. Thank you,”

You pulled your phone away to end the call when he asked, “What will you do with Hikaru?”

“Fuck!” You raked your fingers over your scalp.

“Just. Fucking Toma can take him,”

“Are you sure?”

You huffed in frustration. “He won’t listen to me if I try to talk to him, but no one else can keep him for four plus days. Can you- would you call him at work or something? Please, for me? He’d probably listen to you,”

“Okay, I’ll try,”

“Thank you.” You hung up the phone.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath. When you opened them, Obito was standing in front of you. His face was deeply lined with worry. He hesitantly reached out in an attempt to comfort you, but stopped midway, unsure of himself. You breached the gap, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and burying your face into his chest.

“That was…” he trailed off.

He awkwardly tried to comfort you by patting your shoulder while his other arm circled around your back. The exchange was brief; you backed away and hastily made for your coat and boots by the front door. While shoving your feet in your boots, you vaguely heard him trailing after you.

“Less than two hours,” you said, now slinging on your coat.

“What?”

“I’ll be back here in less than two hours. Kakashi’s coming, so be ready to go,”

“Ready to go?”

You stopped unlatching the door and looked at him over your shoulder, becoming frustrated as you felt the clock ticking. “Yes, Obito. You’re coming with me. Have an outfit packed, I assume Kakashi will bring the rest of what you need,”

He stared at you with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, but you chose not to respond. Instead, you flung open the door and slammed it shut behind you. You sprinted through the snow covered path to your apartment, and, when you hit the village, you jumped between the rooftops despite the snow, hurrying as fast as you could.

In your apartment, you ripped your closet door open and pulled out a few storage bins that contained all of your shinobi equipment. It was one of the few things from your past you fought Toma tooth and nail to keep, and you could never have been more grateful to your past self for standing her ground.

You found your winter uniform at the bottom of the second bin. You pulled on a black, long-sleeve compression shirt. Over that you wore your kusari gusoku, or the protective chain-mail most ninja wore under their clothes. You pulled on the standard pants with leggings underneath for added warmth, and black boots. You added a thin, but incredibly warm, water resistant hooded jacket that clung to you comfortably.

Taking a seat on your bed, you added white tape to your leg. While rolling it on, you smacked your hand against something hard. You reached into one of your many pockets and to your surprise, found a hidden kunai mechanism; a spring-loaded wire that allows the user to extend and retract kunai from their sleeve instantly. You placed it back where you found it, just in case, and finished the wrappings.

Instead of the regular issued sandals, you pulled on the lesser used, but still military issued, black boots. They formed to your feet perfectly - they had always been your favorite pair of shoes, and the feeling brought in a wave of memories. You had to push them away while you continued, but the nostalgia lingered.

Tying the hitai-ate around your neck was the last piece of the puzzle. The weight of it felt right, a familiar heaviness that steadied your racing thoughts. You wanted to look in your full length mirror, but knowing you would distract yourself, you readied your weapons, tools, and pack first. They were all in one place, so it took only a few minutes to distribute what you needed to your pockets and the rest to your bag. Before you decided to call it good, you went into your bathroom and tossed in some of your first aid stuff, since your old kit hadn’t been touched in years.

Packing a couple outfits (an extra for Hina, just in case), shoes, and basic everyday necessities took up the rest of your time. The apartment looked like a tornado had run through it when you had finally closed the zipper, but you hardly glanced at it. You pulled your bag strap over your shoulder, and an overwhelming sense of anxiety slammed into your gut.

As if in a trance, you went back into your bedroom closet, and pulled out one of Hikaru’s baby blankets and an old swaddle. In the back of your mind you reprimanded yourself for using up space for something that would likely prove useless, but you couldn’t help yourself. Your anxiety had always led you to pack for ‘just in case’ scenarios, and you wouldn’t be changing this time.

Before you put it back on, you allowed yourself one glance in the mirror. The woman who stared back at you was a person you had never expected to see again. Tears welled in your eyes because for the first time in years, you fully recognized the person in the mirror. There was hardly any change, physically. You looked a little older, the dark circles under your eyes a little darker, your hands a little softer, maybe even a little wiser, but all in all, you looked like you, again. Or at least a version you had loved.

You covered your mouth as a quiet, relieved sob spilled out. You blamed your tears on your heightened emotions, and quickly wiped them away. You gave your reflection a watery smile, and waved at yourself like you were greeting an old friend. You tore yourself away before you could get lost in it and headed back to Obito’s.

Part XII

Tag List: @mostlyunsure, @humongousdreamlandbear, @ichaichahatake

#x reader #x y/n #au #naruto #obito x reader #obito uchiha x reader #obito uchiha #obito lives au

23 notes · View notes

witheredsnow · 1 month

Text

I'm unsure how to tag this. But oh well. I can't say this is strictly of an aroace thing. It could be for anyone, really. Hence the vague way of writing. I wonder if you guys think this is too vague tho. Well, all of my works are written vague because interpretation is welcome in any of them.

Anyway, I write these themes (being aroace, friendships, and growing up with things changing) because fiction make it seem like it would hurt less. So I write for myself and share. Tho I think this will be my last work in regards to being aro ace. In a while, maybe. Thanks to whoever was curious to read this. And thanks @random-potato-mil, you may be a random stranger but I appreciate your words. I appreciate everyone's words of my writing even when it's like this. -Rei

Being alone, a short story

I won't be alone. And even if I was, I won't be lonely

That's what I would say whenever someone tells me otherwise.

Because... Why would I be lonely?

Do I not have them?

Will I not have you?

...

.......

Maybe I will not. But I will deny it for as long as I can.

....

Did I ever tell you all that my time with you guys felt so precious? They were moments amongst many others that filled my cache of memories that I would place near my heart. Then with it, I go to sleep awaiting the next day to fill it again some more.

I know... I'm being sappy again. Getting more often these days.

Mmm... Hm? Odd? Me, being sappy?

Maybe, maybe...

I feel my mouth trying to uphold that easygoing smile on my face. It's getting harder these days, I won't lie. And I hate I know why.

No. I shook my head when asked what's wrong. I'm afraid if I said out loud, it'll come true.

...

Time really is moving too fast. I know I used to complain back at school that time couldn't be even slower than it was.

I wonder when did the pace of time change. I wonder when did I start minding it so much. I wonder when did the passage of time felt like a dreadful thing to think about.

... Oh, right. Yeah, sorry. It's not everyday I get to be with you all. Or... Even one of you. Not in recent days, atleast—No! That's enough of that.

This moment, them being here, us, all of us right here and now.

I will ignore the twinge of an ache of the past and the distressing uncertainty of the future.

Yeah... The here and now. With you guys.

I grin back when I'm asked why I'm quiet once more. Well, new era, new me?

You all laughed at that. Time must be bringing in change if I'm turning... quieter-ish.

..... I could not join in with the laughs without thinking that... Time really is bringing change—That's enough ruminating.

...

......

"Won't you be alone?"

"Aren't you worried that you'll be lonely?"

"You'll just be by yourself in the future if you keep this up."

Oh yeah? Well, mind your own business.

Why do these unrelated people have to keep telling me that? To remind me of this 'fate' of mine?

Even... My own friends.

No, no. I won't be. I will not be. I still have you all. I'm not socially deprived, not a hermit in the middle of society. Right?

...

I am not alone.

....

I'm not.

....

The streets are teeming with people. Varied lives walking past me. The only intersection of my life with theirs is an occasional brush of the shoulder or the awareness of someone in your way that makes your body either stay in trajectory or skirt around.

I'm just one of many.

Hm? Right. Some of these people are in groups of atleast two. How nice.

Me? By myself these days, as obvious as it could get.

Am I alone?

Yes. Right now.

...

......

I've also been alone for a while.

I know. I admit it's lonely.

.....

Life sucks.

.....

......

........

Beep!

....

Sometimes you can't help but feel like a mismatched—or perhaps, not-matched soul in this world.

Sometimes you can't help but feel like a step-down of a someone.

Sometimes... You can't help but be the outlier.

....

Beep!

....

But sometimes life doesn't suck so bad because despite it all, there are times when you don't have to feel that way.

So yeah, I can feel lonely... But I'm starting to be okay even when alone.

....

Beep!

I smile to myself as another beep sounded. They're being impatient again for me to reply.

Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking to myself again. I'm typing, aight? Give me a sec.

A bit later, a fond chuckle made its way out of my mouth.

It's been a while, huh?

....

......

....

"See ya later!"

"Take care. Bye for now."

"Come by again."

"Next time, yeah?"

Of course, even if it's not always.

#aroace #aro #aromantic #rei's random stuff #written #writers on tumblr #friendship #feeling alone #mental health #Well probably is mental health

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astrxealis · 5 months

Text

OH RIGHT ... also. after 4 years of wishing to do so. i finally remembered And put in action playing mahoyaku ..... !!!!! :3

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my favorites are kind of embarrassingly obvious i think. oops.#honestly gotta thank a moot for this ..... bcs i see them posting abt mhyk a lot lately so i've actually remembered.#shout out to yori too if ever you see this + sunny !!! iirc you both also like mhyk <3 but esp yori from what i rmbr... hm.....#going to read story one day but idk. i'm busy. but soon! soon <33 #anyway yeah lol i have my favs i think but unsure as well. kinda funny wondering what others think i'd like ngl... okay bye now tho mwa <33

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127tyong · 1 year

Text

I.O.U

(Be There For You Follow Up)

A/N: Same universe as BTFY, different characters, same medicine. You don't need to read BTFY to understand this story tho they're kinda their own thing

Pairing: Qian Kun X Reader

Genre: Be There For You AU, Smut, Doctor Kun, Good Ending, (as always, i know nothing about medicine lol)

Warnings: Mind Break, kun is kinda mean

Word Count: 2.3k

“I mean, every college kid does a clinical trial to make a quick buck at least once, right? That’s just like, part of the freshman experience!” You were on the phone with your friend as you stood outside the clinic, ready to get tied up to an IV for 10 hours or have your sleep monitored.

“Whatever. Don’t let them do anything stupid to you, alright?” Your friend replied, dryly.

“They’re doctors! They wouldn’t intentionally hurt me, right? Anyways, I’m gonna go in!” Way too optimistic, considering you were willing to go through Hell for $1000.

You walked in and went to the front desk.

“Hi, can I help you?” The worker, wearing a name tag that said “Jeno” asked you. He seemed… like your average nerd. Chunky, black rimmed glasses in a rectangle shape.

“I’m actually wondering if you have any studies that I could participate in.” You smiled up at him, biting your lip, as to avoid asking him if his bright pink hair was up to code.

“Hm…” He grabbed a paper. “How about you fill this out to let us get a better grasp of who you are, then I’ll have a doctor chat with you, alright?” He quickly smiled up at you, but his eyes were cold, probably wishing you’d leave him alone already.

You nodded. “Thanks!”

After about 30 minutes and 100 questions later, you were called into an exam room, and you sat on the bed in there.

A young man with wire rimmed glasses and light blue hair entered and applied hand sanitizer. “So, my name is Kun Qian. So I’ve checked your questionnaire and your medical history, and I’ve compiled a list of things you are able to participate in.”

He handed you a stack of papers, and on top, there it was.

Project E 2.0

This medication is being tested to treat PCOS and other hormone irregularities.

Side effects include a heightened libido, sensitivity during sex, as well as more intense and stronger orgasms.

You glanced up at Kun, who was clicking his pen. “I’ll just do this one, it seems simple enough.”

Kun sighed, rolling his neck back to crack his neck. “The E one? It’s important for you to know that the side effects of this medication are… strong, to say the least.”

“What, am I going to go feral? It’s fine, just give me the jab.” You laughed, but Kun didn’t respond.

“Yes. The woman who received the 1.0 version was unable to sleep, eat… she couldn’t live a normal life for several weeks because of it. All she was able to do was have sex and be force-fed by her doctor… Well, boyfriend now, I guess.” He pulled off his glasses and looked you in the eye. “I promise, I will be right here, ready to assist you, or anything you may need, but I need to know that you can deal with the pain.”

“Well, when you put it like that… I guess I should learn a bit more first.”

“Do you have a husband or wife? Any significant other that might be able to help?” Kun started to write stuff down on his clipboard.

“Er, I have a roommate?” You fidgeted with the hem of your skirt, unsure of what Kun meant.

Kun exhaled loudly, leaning back in his chair, his annoyance with you obvious. “I meant someone you could have sex with, madam.”

“I have a vibrator?” You laughed, the hairs on your arms standing due to your nerves.

Kun bit his lip. “I think it’s in your best interest to choose another option.”

“Um, but I think this would be the easiest for me… All I have to do is track possible side effects, right? And I can go home?” You flipped through the other studies, ranging from a hypothermia study to a sociology study.

“Well, you’d have to stay here for a week, only so we can see how you’d react… but yes, you can.” Kun clicked his pen against the clipboard. “I’ll give it to you. Let me lead you to your room.

It actually wasn’t that bad, considering this was an independent clinic. You had your own bedroom and bathroom, and your roommate sent you clothes for your week stay.

Kun sat on the chair next to your bed, letting you settle in before giving you the shot.

“I’m ready.” You sat on the bed, shuffling over to where Kun was sitting.

“There.” Kun injected it. “I’ll stay with you for the first hour, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Do you wanna get in bed with me?” You scooched over, letting him in.

“Um…” Kun stood up, sitting down next to you, taking his shoes off before moving to sit next to you.

“So, Doctor, how’s your day going?” You turned on the TV in front of you, switching the channel to some cheesy reality Lifetime show.

“You’re the first person I’ve seen today, so I guess… Good.” Kun inspected your body, from the palms of your hands down to your chest, then your thighs and feet. “So… what made you want to do this?”

“Money?” You glanced at him, noticing how plump his lips were after he bit his bottom lip. “Why does anyone let themselves do something like this?”

“Well, you’re not wrong, I guess.” The palm of his hand pressed against your forehead, trying to feel for your temperature. “Are you feeling okay?”

“It’s only been like… 5 minutes, so I guess I feel the same.” You looked up at Kun, who was now standing up and sliding his shoes back on.

A minute turned to two minutes, two turned to twenty, twenty turned to sixty…

“I want to check something.” Kun grabbed his stethoscope, putting it in his ears and against your heart. “I’ll be back in a minute…”

You just sat there, scrolling through your phone.

And it started. Your back hit the bed’s back board, the heat getting to you. You knew you were going to get horny, but you didn’t know it was going to be this bad…

The heavy wooden door opened again. “Okay, so I wanted to see if-”

“Doctor…” Your voice was so whiny, you hardly knew you could make that kind of tone. “Need you.” You sat on your knees, reaching out for him, lips pouting, drawling out every word. Blood coursed through your veins, your heart beating out of your chest. And you felt all the blood rush to your clit at the sight of Kun.

“Fuck.” Kun pressed the stethoscope back against your chest, and after about 10 seconds he ripped it out of his ears, falling down towards your body, one of his hands on your shoulder, the other on your back. “Come on sweetie, let’s get you in the shower… or something, I…” Kun frantically looked around, his concern for you resulting in a furrowed brow. “Did your roommate bring you anything, a dildo, or…”

“You…” You finally got out a word. “Please, fuck me.” Tears began to well up in your eyes. It truly was a feeling you never felt, it was like you had been edging for days without release.

A million thoughts rushed into Kun's mind all at once. The loudest one being the word pathetic. You were a pathetic, whining mess, begging him for his cock, needing to fuck him. And it made him so hard. Any man would get hard in his situation, he figured. But he knew he had to stay professional, even if it was for a few more minutes. “I… I don’t think I can, I mean, I’m your doctor!” Kun pushed you off him, then slipped your jacket off you, trying to get you to cool down.

You had a ball of the fabric of Kun’s lab coat in your fist. “Please, I need… anyone.”

“Fuck, fuck… I thought Jaemin fixed it… I knew I shouldn’t have fucking trusted him.” Kun bit his lip, half wanting to search the suitcase and dressers in your room, but also knowing he needed to comfort you right now.

“Cum… Cum inside me…” You whined, your head hitting Kun’s chest. You breathed in the thick scent of his cologne. Minty, musky and woody. He smelled so good, and that just made things worse for some reason. It truly felt like you were going feral, like you were turning back to your primal instincts, needing him inside you, his warm release, to be filled up. “Need… you inside me…”

“Come on baby… work with me.” Kun helped you to your feet, leading you into the bathroom. The lock on the door automatically locked behind the two of you. Kun started undressing you as quickly as possible then pushed you into the bathtub. “Tell me if the water’s too cold.” He turned on the water, the cold helping lower your temperature.

“Kun…” You cooed, wrapping an arm around his neck. “Please, fuck me.”

You caught Kun looking at your body, up at your breasts and down to your thighs…

“I’ll, um…” Kun’s hand entered the water, and began to rub your clit, making you immediately reach your climax.

“Doctor!” You cried out. “More, more please!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know how to help you anymore…” Kun mumbled, thinking hard.

“Cock, please…” You whined.

“Fuck…” Kun helped you out of the bathtub and wrapped you in a towel, quickly drying you off then leading you to the bed, bending you over the mattress.

“Cum inside, please, please, please…” You really felt like you were actually going brain dead, the only thing on your mind being Kun’s cock.

And he finally was inside you. You let Kun do whatever he wanted to with your body. You figured he must’ve been pent up, too. The way his cock slammed into your womb, hitting your cervix with ease, letting you know how sore you were going to be tomorrow. His hands made their way into your mouth, both middle and ring fingers hooking into your cheeks, stretching your lips horizontally, making you drool, tongue sticking out on its own.

He was rough, nothing like the shy boy he was two seconds ago, who didn’t even know if he should be fucking you. It was like a flip switched in his brain, like he was just pretending to be kind so his cock would feel even better when it went inside you…

“Doctor, please be gentler!” You felt like you were melting on his dick, so hot and so hard…

“I don’t want to.” His hands moved to your neck, wrapping around your neck, choking you until you were unable to breathe.

“Cumming!” You screamed out, hitting your second climax.

You felt your womb filling up with Kun’s cum before he pulled out.

He picked you up and laid you back down. “Do you feel better?”

You nodded, sitting up, covering yourself with the blanket.

“Good. I’ll be back with your dinner.” Kun slid his pants back up then left.

And after about 30 minutes you felt like a bitch in heat all over again.

“Dinner.” Kun entered again after 45 minutes, catching you with your fingers inside yourself. “Jesus Christ…” He sighed, slamming the tray onto the nearest table.

“Doctor…” You whimpered, hoping he would fuck your again.

“You’re so… pathetic. And whiny.” Kun ran his hands through your hair, then grabbed your hand, pulling your fingers out of yourself and licking your juices off. He stood at the foot of the bed, grabbing your foot to pull you down and began to lick your clit.

And again, you practically immediately reached your high…

Kun wiped his face, your cum on his nose and lips. “Do you feel better?”

You shook your head. “Cum…” You whined. “Please?”

Kun facepalmed, sighing. “Ride me.” He sat on the couch in your room.

You slid off your bed and sat on Kun’s lap, facing away from him, lining his cock into you.

“You know, it’ll hurt more if you take it slow. Put it in all at once.” Kun his hand on your waist, stabilizing you.

“I know!” You whined, shoving it in. “Fuck!”

“Hm? Is that it?” Kun’s tone became more mocking than annoyed. “Do I have to do everything for you?” His arm went under your knees, fucking you under you.

“You’re in too deep, Doctor!” You cried out. You felt like Kun was in your womb. “You’re not gonna be able to pull out!”

“Don’t think.” Kun instructed.

And you did as told, letting your brain melt into nothingness other than the feeling of Kun’s cock inside you. You probably wouldn’t be able to recall your own name…

That was, until Kun’s cum flowed inside you again, bringing you into your own orgasm.

Kun dropped you back onto his lap, your arms wrapping around his neck and your head fell onto his chest.

You woke up still on Kun’s lap.

“How long-”

Kun cut you off. “45 minutes. It’s fine.” But really, the entire left side of Kun’s body was numb.

You nodded.

“So, what did you think?” Kun asked you as you climbed off his lap and back onto your own bed.

“It was… good. Amazing, actually, I’ve never felt so good…” You started dreaming about getting stuffed full of Kun’s cum all over again…

“I was talking about the medicine, but thanks for rating my dick.” Kun scoffed, getting up to give you your dinner.

“Oh. Not as fun.” You watched Kun.

“I, um… was thinking that you could live with me and help me test the rest of the iterations of the medication.” Kun hooked you back up to the blood pressure monitor.

“Maybe.” You took a bite of the dinner. “But I’ll say yes if it means I can keep having sex with you.

“You can keep having sex with me even when you stop being my patient.”

#nct smut #nct fanfic #nct x reader #wayv smut #wayv x reader #kun smut #qian kun smut

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