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simeonisalesbian · 3 years

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Drink Away Ya Problems Mammon x MC

Yo yo yo. This is the first Obey Me fic i’ve written (I’ve got a couple others I’ll post in a hot girl minute) MC is gender neutral and it’s really easy to replace each “MC” with any name of your choosing ^.^ Thank u for ur time!

Words: 1436

Mc sat at their desk staring blankly at the page and textbook in front of them. It had been about 3 hours now with no interruptions from the demons who lived in the house. Quite the rare occurrence. They had hoped to get a good amount of work done, and they did up until now. Apparently having to deal with constant intrusions makes someone's ability to focus on something in one sitting really shity. They sighed again just wishing someone would distract them from this for at least a little while.

As if summoned, the door swung open revealing Mammon. “Mc…”

"Hey Mammon, what's up?" Mc turned happily smiling at the demon who came to distract them. Their face fell as soon as they saw the demon's face. "Oh. Is everything okay?"

Mammon had his arms crossed close to his chest and looked as if he'd start crying at any minute. His face was turned away from them and just to be safe his eyes were staring at the floor.

" 'M leavin'. 'M sick of being accused of shit so I'm running away. Felt like ya would want to know." Mammon squeezed his eyes shut. "So yeah I'll just go-" he turned to go back out the door.

Before he could, Mc grabbed their arm pulling him into a hug. The sudden motion of affection was a breaking point and he practically crumbled in their arms and let a few tears silently slip.

"Hey. You're not leaving. What would I do without the Great Mammon around, huh?" Mc slowly led the demon over to sit on the bed, hoping to make him feel a bit better about himself.

" 'M not that great," Mammon mumbled under his breath as he willingly sat down on the bed. He rubbed at his eyes hoping to regain some composure as Mc looked at his face.

"I beg to disagree. I mean you just saved me from what must have been the most boring assignment in the history of all the realms." Mc said while moving to lock the door. It wasn't common that they actually locked it but they hoped the motion would put Mammon more at ease. After that, they sat back down pulling Mammon back into their arms. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

He shook his head.

"That's fine too. Whatever you want. Just know I'm here for you, kay?" Mc said softly petting the demon's head.

They sat there quietly for a while before Mammon spoke up. "Do you still have that bottle of human alcohol?" It was quietly mumbled and if Mc wasn't listening they would have missed it.

"Yeah. Was saving it for a rainy day. I'd say this falls under that. Did you want me to grab it?"

"Yeah. If ya want to." Mammon sat up just enough from where he was leaning on them to let them stand up. He watched as they dug under the bed, grabbing a glass bottle they bought the last time they visited the human world.

"I can grab cups from the kitchen or we can drink straight from the bottle. Up to you."

"Fuck cups, hand it here," Mammon said, reaching out for the bottle.

Mc smiled. He wasn't quite back to his usual to his happy-go-lucky self but this was a lot closer. And while it probably wasn't the most healthy idea to drink during a breakdown, Mammon probably would have drunk himself sick if he actually did go out along with gambling away all of his brothers' money. So arguably this was better than that outcome.

"Hey it is mine, save some for me jeez," Mc said watching the demon chug the bottle they handed him as if it was water.

"Your mistake for handin' it to me first. Here." He handed the bottle back to let Mc take a swing. He glanced down at his phone that had no new messages. "Do ya think they actually think I ran away?"

"Hm?" Mc passed the bottle. "Your brothers? Hard to say we were pretty quiet for a while they might. Why do you want them to think that?"

"Dunno." He said before drinking a much smaller amount than before. "Maybe? Is it cruel to want them to hurt as much as I do?" He took another sip.

"Not sure." Mc grabbed the bottle knowing the avatar of greed would drink the whole thing if they let him. "In human standards, we'd probably call it a bit cruel but a common feeling nonetheless. Aren't demons meant to be cruel tho? Isn't that part of their thing?"

Mammon just shrugged. "I guess so." He didn't look happy with the answer so Mc tried again.

"You're asking me though right? I don't think you're cruel. I think those feelings are fine. As long as you don't take them too far that is. Like as long as you don't like...I dunno kill them or something? You're probably fine"

Mammon laughed softly. "Do all humans have sucky morals like that or just you?"

"Hey, my morals aren't sucky. I just set the bar low. Obviously, there are lesser bads than killing but it's the first thing that came to mind."

"Lesser evils."

"Huh?"

"Ya said 'lesser bads.' Pretty sure it's lesser evils." Mammon corrected with a smirk.

"Who died and made you the saying police huh? I can say lesser bads if I want. Fuck the police and all that." Mc said playfully glaring.

"Didn't you just imply 'm the police?"

"Don't." Mc glanced at the bottle. "How the hell have we already drank half of this?"

"Who knows. But I say we finish it off." He said grabbing it.

"What? No, we should probably stop. It's Thursday, we have classes tomorrow." Mc said, pulling the bottle towards them.

"Fuck classes I ran away remember? I don't need no classes." Mammon pulled.

"Yeah you ran off I didn't. I still have to go"

"Nah. We'll just say I brought you with me."

Mc paused thinking for a minute. "You think that would work?" They couldn't think for shit they drank nearly as much as Mammon had.

"Course I do! When has the Great Mammon ever been wrong?"

"Many times."

Mammon pouted but pulled the bottle from Mc's hands. "Ha!" He shakily stood almost falling and he moved away. He stood another long swing from the bottle.

"Hey! It's my bottle!" Mc stood with the intent to take back the bottle but fell as soon as they did.

"Oh shit. You good?" Mammon said, setting the bottle down long enough to check on the human.

Mc grabbed it chugging nearly as much as Mammon did before replying. "Yeah. Wasn't that far of a fall. Don't think I can walk, though. Snacks are out of the question."

Mammon smiled before pulling Mc back to their feet and setting them both down on the bed. "We can call Beel if we want snacks. He's like the king of snacks. Besides, we can just drink and like, watch a movie. Don't need snacks to have fun."

"Shit, you're right. God, I'm gonna have the hangover from hell tomorrow huh." Mc said grabbing the laptop that was luckily left on the nightstand, to pull up a movie.

"You and me both. But it'll be fine. I want to pick the movie though it was my idea." Mammon said, pulling the laptop towards him.

"No, it's my laptop."

It was going to be a long night.

Epilogue

Lucifer unlocked the door to Mc's Room later that night. The chatter from inside had long since died down since the last time he checked. He was originally going to ask if Mammon had said anything to them since he left. But the last time he had stopped by he heard the familiar bickering from his brother and the human. He left them to it and decided to check on both of them later.

Opening the door he smiled seeing that the owners of the voices that had forgotten to talk in an inside voice earlier, we both soundly asleep.

Mc had Mammon wrapped in their arms, his head on their chest. Mammon had one arm dropped over them, the empty liquor bottle dangling from his hand. The laptop that has long since died was close to falling off the bed.

Lucifer placed the laptop on the desk plugging it in. He then grabbed the bottle from Mammon's hand.

The hangover those two would have tomorrow would be their only punishment. Knowing they did that to themselves would be better than any punishment Lucifer could give after all.

#obey me mammon #mammon x mc #mammon x reader #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me #obey me!#om mammon

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izur-x · 3 years

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Determination

Pairing ~ nagito/reader

Genre + warning ~ angst, death, gore, blood, also. Spoiler for nagito free time, SPOILER FOR THE WHOLE GAME!! A little bit of hajime/reader and izuru/reader :>

Summary ~ Nagito couldn't help it, and you just snap by him saying that he a trash, and his luck with effected you, even though, it's been three years of relationship.

Note's ~ i need angst, I'm an angst based person, so yeah, and i don't think my angst is good anymore, also a little crack fic, and this is going to be a long one shot..

"s/o...I already told you! You will never know when-"

"we've been in three years relationship, nagito! Your luck didn't affect me! You should stop worrying about this!" You bit bottom for your lips, glaring at him. Your eyes became watery, you wanted to cry.

"you'll never understand how I feel when they died in front of me! Losing someone that I love, that I care about. I don't want that to happen again!"

"nagito! We've been through that together! Are you forget about that?!"

He flinches and back away a little, he made a mistake. A big mistake.

"s-s/o— i-i—" "forget about this. I'm sick of this, we've been fighting for one and a half hours, and I'm done, you win, nagito komaeda." Nagito back away little by little again and collapse to the ground.

"you're using my full name..."

"i know"

"you...must be real mad at me."

"mhm"

Nagito eyes widened and he realizes that his tears are dropping, nagito quickly wipe them away and get up, not looking at you.

Everybody that hearing this fight between you and nagito seems....guilty and sad, even hiyoko and fuyuhiko. "Hey, what should we do?" Chiaki begins to whisper.

"we..should leave them alone, for now. And check both of them tomorrow." Hajime glances back at you two, "let's go." And then everybody leaves.

"they eavesdropping on us, didn't they." He sighs, "unfortunately, yes." Nagito still didn't look at you. You tighten your fist and clench your jaw.

"i. I'm sorry.." "you don't need to say sorry, komaeda." He flinches, nagito felt his heart slowly losing apart, "maybe the last hug would be great.." you said to him, looking at the ground with arms open, waiting for him to hug you.

He hugs you tightly, securing you in place, not letting you go. He got distracted by you saying that.

In the next two days, things getting worse...

You and nagito ignoring each other, at breakfast, whenever you see each other while walking exploring the island, everything. Nagito only eat a bit and head out, Hajime we're concern so he asks him, and nagito said "oh, I'm not hungry, and you shouldn't worry about me."

His self-degrading becomes worse. Also, you rarely see Nagito outside.

The two days were hell for you both.

And then this happens on the third day.

"why are we gather around again?" You ask.

"well, the future foundation needed us to help them." Hajime explains "we will be fighting the remaining of monokuma's, and make the city better again." Hiyoko whines "ugghhh, that would be a lot of woorrkkkss!" "But, we have to help them, for what they do to us, for what they've done to return us to hope instead of despair." "Ugh, now you bring that! Fine!" Hiyoko murmurs something.

We wait until the boats arrived, and it this, not long enough. As we got into the boat, three people were waiting for us, it was Makoto naegi, kyoko kirigiri, and Byakuya togami.

"Welcome back, seniors!"

We all smiled at them, Makoto and Hajime shaking hands, "we ready to risk our lives." "Oh no, we don't hope you guys to die! I'm sure you guys will do great, we already prepare the gun, come!"

We follow Makoto to the inside of the boat. "W-Woah...." We were all amazed by so many weapons. Gun, ak-47, flamethrowers, grenades, dynamite, swords, and many more.

As everyone selects their weapon, this one weapon got my interest. A scythe. A red one, I pick it 'it's not heavy as it looks..nice.' "oh! (L/n), great choice!" I jumped a little, "oh, thanks, naegi." I awkwardly laugh.

As I observe the scythe, I feel two— I mean four pairs of eyes looking at me, I shrug the feelings away and continue to observe.

"you guys already pick yourself weapons right? Let's train a little so it's doesn't you!" Everyone agrees and follows Makoto, again.

We train a little, yes. A little. Mikan constantly trips. Ibuki almost shot Akane. Teruteru... I don't want to talk about it. Hiyoko accidentally burns her kimonos. Chaos. Also, Hajime spilled his orange juice.

We take a break from the train, give ourselves a drink, I decided to talk to Hajime, "yo Hajime, how was training?" "It was chaos..." "Meh, I said it was normal."

"so..." "How was a thing? Is Kamakura there? I'm curious." "It was great, about that..." Hajime looks around and grabs my hands "come." I got drag by Hajime.

"hey Hajime, what's wrong?" I catch up and walking beside him, as I look into his eyes, it was completely red. I stayed silent after seeing that, Hajime or Kamakura continue to drag me and pin me into the wall.

"what was that for!" His index fingers place into my lips "shhh...you don't want anyone to hear us, right?" Deep voice, that must be— "Kamakura?"

"yes." "Um, you don't have to drag me here so that you could talk to me.." he sighs "I don't want to face them, yet." I tilted my head a little bit, "it is because of the killing game? But it's already over—" "I know it's already over, but their trauma. I don't want them to remember that."

'Woah, Kamakura cares about the other?', "so." I hummed and look at him "how were you and komaeda? Still fighting?" I look away to the ground "we...broke up." Hajime/Kamakura let out an 'oh'.

"That was unfortunate. Ahem, we should head back now, let—" I don't know what I was thinking, I hugged him without any thoughts. "(L/n)?" "Ah! Sorry." I back away "yes, let's go."

As we head back and everyone was waiting "hey! Where were you two?" "Talking." We both answered at the same time "ahem, we almost there, prepare for the battle, I will explain to you where is the headquarters, also your position."

Byakuya explained to us everything, Mikan will be the healer, Sonia and hiyoko protect mikan, teruteru will throw the grenade and dynamite. "Unit one will be....."

"nidai, owari, (l/n), and tanaka, unit two will be: pekoyama, kuzuryuu, hinata, unit three will be: imposter, mioda, hanamura, komaeda, souda. This unit will be fighting"

As we drop off from the boat, "senior!! We wish you luck!! Don't die okay!!" We wave at them and begin our battle.

We encountered the monobots, it wasn't a lot, we managed to fight them, no one is injured until we got into the middle of the town.

We've been a trap, a lot of monobots around us, back, front, left, and right. "Everyone! Prepare yourself! Sonia, hiyoko! Protect mikan! And everyone else pleases circle! And prepare for the sixth battle!" As I ordered them.

Everyone got into the place, and the battle begins.

Now.

The never-ending battle. Some of us got injured, nothing bad until...

"damn it! These monobots must be a lot in here, I think we have to find a hiding spot and heal." I couldn't focus at the time, I heard someone screaming my name when I look back, it was nagito, screaming my name, "(Y/N)! BEHIND YOU!" "Eh?"

Everyone's attention shifted to me, as I look back, a monobots charge a laser beam towards me.

It was too late for them to save me.

The laser hit my stomach. I heard everyone screaming, screaming my name, my eyes were widened, my mouth wanted to say something, but couldn't.

I felt someone lift me, as I look who it is, it was nagito, crying. "Please stay. (Y/n)! You have to live! Don't l-leave me!" He begging me to stay longer... Suddenly the monobots seem off...they don't attack us, they just stay in place, not moving.

"UWAHHW (Y-Y/N), DON'T DIE." Mikan begins to treat my wound, even tho it was a waste of time. I cough up blood."nagito, listen to me..." I lift my right hand, to touch his cheeks, but I don't have too much energy.

So he grabs my hands and places them into his cheeks, everyone watch this cried, in horror, blame themselves, "no matter what happens to me, no matter what we've been through together, don't blame yourself nagito..." More tears fallings.

"I don't have too much time in here...and everyone, nagito, please stay alive for the sake of our next generation of hope and future, love you guys..." I softly smiled. "Don't forget, from the bottom of my heart..." "I truly in love with the determination that sleeps inside you...and yes I stole nagito line! Hahaha...."

"Why are you smiling like this is nothing..." Hajime- no. Kamakura said it, he walked to me and crouch. "You're an idiot." "I am." I look at nagito one last time, wiping his tears away, "now...don't look so sad. I don't want that, please smile."

Everyone forced smile, I traced nagito lips and pull him closer. "Stay alive, okay my hope?" And kiss him, a final kiss. A goodbye kiss.

And I let out my last breath. With that, I sacrifice myself. This is our last battle, the beginning of the new generation has just begun.

Side note ~ hm......did you cried? No? Alright.

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syinisuga · 3 years

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Begin Again [MinYoongi]

Pairing : Yoongi x Reader

Word count : 5.2K

Genre : Fluff and Angst

Description : Friends to lovers, Long Distance relationship, Lovers to (?)

Summary : when you thought the friendship you once had with him died away after one silly mistake, and you thought you would never have again what you lost;

But it blossoms back unexpectedly stronger and is slowly growing to be something more beautiful than you ever had

"I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn, and end;

But on a Wednesday in a cafe i watched it Begin Again"

--------------------✨📖✨---------------------

It was the start of a new year and you weren't particularly happy about being moved up a few classes into an entirely new class with relatively new students you haven't personally met yet. You were still grateful for your good results in the past year to have you land in such a good class. In all honesty though, you did miss your friends from your old class, all of them being scattered in the back classes however changed your mind about being thankful that you're at least in a better one. The first few days of getting used to the classes went by rather slowly as you were listening to the introductions of the other students and teachers half mindedly, till around your 4th day into the classes that is.

You were randomly seated in the Chemistry lab by the teacher as she familiarised herself with the rest of the class. Not paying much attention you were spacing out, resting your chin on your palm, tapping away at your cheek.

" Um, hey there"

The voice from the stool next to you spoke. You turned your head to the direction of the voice, being met with warm brown eyes looking right at you. He had soft black hair, eyes slightly puffy as if he hadn't slept well the night before, lips curled up in a slight smile as he looked at you.

"Oh, hello"

you answered, trying not to sound overly shocked at the first human interaction you've had in this new class.

"I'm yoongi, what's your name?"

"I'm y/n, nice to meet you Yoongi"

"So what are your interests? What do you like to do y/n? Any hobbies?"

It definitely took you by surprise when this boy you've never really met before was suddenly making an interest to get to know you more. Something about him felt raw and not shy but in a good way.

"Well i really love listening to music and i do indulge in art as well. Spend most of my time listening to songs while drawing. Draw the mood of the song you know?"

"Damn, haha you sound kinda like me. Not tryna be cheesy or anything but i love listening to music too, I'm shit at drawing tho, i can barely draw a stickman"

Both of you exchanged a little chuckle at his open confession about himself. And even though it had only been a few minutes of words between the two of you, you felt at that moment that he wasn't like the other boys who popped up to talk to you first. This one genuinely seemed interested in you just to make a new friend.

-----------------------🤝------------------------

"Yo y/n you wanna ditch PE and hang out in the library? The new Resident Evil movie came out we can watch"

"You know what, yeah let's yeet"

You don't know how it went from spending lunch times together, to skipping the most boring subjects to hang out and hide. It'd been a few months since you started your new friendship with Yoongi, and by now you were known as the inseparable duo, funny enough both of you became the class representatives. Somehow you two got closer and closer each day, the more you talked the more you felt like you've known each other for years, yet some part of you knew that there was more to Yoongi than he was showing to you.

On a particularly slow day at your classes, you and Yoongi had pre planned to sneak out to hang out at your usual spot in the library. Sitting at the back of the library the both of you laughed at a joke Yoongi made about how almost the whole school shipped the both of you.

"You know y/n, I envy you"

"Oh well, I know I'm fabulous" you playfully said as you flipped your hair back, earning a little grunt and a harmless eye roll from Yoongi.

"It's not that you loonatic, i envy you...cause you have such a nice relationship with your family"

His sudden statement caught you slightly off guard but you gave him a look, clearly eager to know the reason behind his words. Flashing half a smile towards you he starts his story.

"Growing up for me was, well, it was an experience. I grew up under the care of foster parents who constantly reminded me that my parents gave me away cause i was a burden, all my life that's what i was told. Never had a father figure or mother figure to help shape my emotions? Guess that's why I don't show it if I'm sad or depressed, which is actually most of the time"

he looks down at his hands and chuckles softly.

"But you know something y/n? Being with you makes me feel like I could be myself, like I don't have to be afraid of being judged. And that's why I wanted you to know the truth but i understand if you don't wanna get involved or-"

You cut him off by placing your hand on his, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yoongi, i want you to know that I'll always be here for you and you can talk to me about this anytime okay? You're my best friend now! And I'm hoping I'm yours too?" You ask in a more playful tone making yoongi giggle.

"Of course you are"

"Good! Cause i come in a package deal of crackhead and supportive as well as a no return contract"

"Sounds perfect to me bestie"

-----------------------😚------------------------

Over 2 years had passed and the whole highschool down to the teachers were sure the two of you were in a relationship, as everyone saw the two of you being practically stuck together almost all the time. Yoongi and your friendship became stronger than ever since that day he decided to open up to you. It became a regular thing where you'd confide in each other for emotional comfort as well as motivation and support. Not missing the fact that your level of crackhead together had become an all time high.

Your finals and exams blasted through and you had spent all your study weeks with Yoongi in the library. As sketchy as it was you and your best friend actually did sincere studying. And as it would, your hard work together paid off earning the both of you high marks in your finals. The two of you didn't miss to make a trademark crackhead scene at the receiving of the scroll ceremony when you accidentally tripped on your shoelace and Yoongi cracked up laughing and clapping before helping you up. The two of you celebrate with drinks and a lot of food that night and Yoongi paid for everything to make it up to you for laughing when you fell.

You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror before heading out to your highschool's hall. It was your graduation party but more importantly to you it was Yoongi's birthday. Coincidentally the two events had fallen on the same day, and what better opportunity than to get dressed up to party at your graduation ceremony together. It had been a heck of a ride these last two years, and you were going to make sure this last school event would be memorable.

Upon arriving you scan around the hall of students in search of the familiar face.

"Looking for me?"

He makes his presence behind you known by clearing his throat. You turn around to give your usual playful comment back but the words were caught in your throat as your gaze landed on your best friend. He was dressed smart, in a suit that looked like it was custom made to fit him, his hair in a side part and bangs neatly framing his face. You were so used to seeing him in his casual hoodies and ripped jeans that seeing him in formal wear made you choke on your words.

Too focused on getting your senses back in check, you don't notice how Yoongi's train of thought was stopped dead in its tracks as he watched you turn around to face him. He never pictured his crackhead of a best friend in something other than t-shirts and track pants. Seeing you in a dress that hugged your figure in all the right places and taking in the sight of you, with your makeup and hair all done to suit the dress you were wearing nearly made him pass out from how he was holding his breath to admire you.

Clearing the silence between the two of you, Yoongi speaks up first.

"Well well, you don't completely look like the satanic spawn of hot cheetos and depression today. You actually look pretty good"

Smirking a little smile you bite back at his comment.

"Well same to you too Mr. I'm a millennial emo teen. You actually look, presentable today"

The two of you exchanged a playful giggle and assumed your seats at your class tables as the ceremony went on.

You don't see the small glances Yoongi takes in your direction, the thoughts gushing through his mind about how you looked at the moment and cursing himself for not realising your features sooner. He admired the way you had chosen to dress up today, seeing the way you had styled your hair so your curls would frame your face, the way you had done your makeup in a more natural looking way that he thought suited you perfectly. Yoongi didn't remember when the unlabeled feelings for you came but the longer he looked at you the more he was starting to put a name to the feelings he had. So much so that he had completely spaced out in his thoughts of you like that he didn't realise you were speaking to him.

" -don't you think so Yoongi?"

"I'm sorry what did you say? The umm, the music is so loud"

"I saaaaiiddd it's beginning to get a little dull at this graduation ceremony, we need a little surprise, don't you think?"

"Surprise?? What kind of surprise?"

Flashing a smile his way you get up and walk towards the front of the hall where the ceremony host was finishing up their ending speech. Whispering into the host's ear, he gives you the microphone and you confidently stride to the front. But you accidentally go too close to the speaker and it lets out an unpleasant squee, making you move back and away a little. You look up and around finding your best friend's eyes looking back at you giggling at the scene that just occured.

"Well that's one way to get everyone's attention" you chuckle earning muffled chuckles and words from the hall.

"So firstly congrats to everyone on graduating y'all did it. But that's not why I'm up here right now. Today is a special day for someone, and since it's the last day we'll all be gathering I wanted to make this memorable for him. So everyone I would like to wish out here, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIN YOONGI"

you started to sing happy birthday and the rest of the hall joined in singing with you.

In all this happening, Yoongi could only focus on you, the way you just boldly got up to sing out loud and wish him Happy Birthday in the most "you" way possible. So he didn't know if it was the moment or if it was his unlabeled feelings overflowing for you, that he got up and walked towards you as the song was ending. He couldn't tell what came over him at that moment but he knew for sure he wasn't going to stop what he was about to do next. Cupping your cheeks in his palms, he leaned in, pressing his soft lips to yours. Kissing you with deep feelings overtaking his mind. The moment his lips touched yours he knew what those unlabeled feelings were, it was Love.

You couldn't process fast enough that your best friend was striding towards you with a goal, a desire. And you surely didn't expect for him to suddenly kiss you. Registering the feeling of his lips on yours, your eyes closed on their own as if on automatic response. You sank into the feeling of his lips, and it was then you felt the spark that ignited your own unlabeled feelings for Yoongi. You had definitely asked yourself countless times before if what you were feeling for Yoongi was more than just friendship. On the countless nights he had cried on your shoulder or when you cried on his, on the many occasions where you were both always partners in crime, you would always glance at Yoongi and wonder what more could there be to the feelings between you.

As the both of you slowly pulled away from each other a roaring sound of cheers erupted as it seemed to be that the two of you were the last ones to know you two were actually in love with each other. Taking your hand in his, Yoongi and you ran out of the hall that night knowing well where the two of you stood from that moment on.

-----------------------❤️------------------------

"No babe I think you should definitely take the opportunity to study there, I know it's far but it'll be really good for you, plus it's something you really like! It'll take some time for you to get used to the new place but i know you'll fit right in. In fact i know your wack ass would stand out"

You giggled at his comment but you wholeheartedly took his motivation and advice. But the question and thoughts still lingered in your mind as you heard Yoongi chuckle on the other end of the phone.

"But Yoongi, this means we'd be in a long distance relationship, with you going off to study in the opposite direction and all. Even our breaks don't match Yoongi.. what'll we do" the worrying tone in your voice didn't go unnoticed by Yoongi as he answered you in a calm reassuring tone.

"It'll take some work, but i know we can get through this okay? We'll make it, we can make it. I love you" you smiled at Yoongi's voice uttering the sweet words of love as you felt yourself calm your thoughts.

"I love you too Yoongi. Well then, keep me company while i pack?"

"You bet"

It had been a few months since you started dating, and honestly it didn't feel any different from when the two of you were in your phase of friendship, everything was going relatively smooth apart from the little fights and misunderstandings you had now that you were a couple. Sometimes you sit to think to yourself if moving into a relationship with Yoongi was the best choice, it would feel as though sometimes he would act differently and not like he always would but you just shake of the thoughts. You just figured with all these future college studies and intakes coming about that he was just as stressed as you were. You assured yourself that the two of you would be alright and that you'll always have each other.

A few more months pass and the two of you have already started your college lives. Yoongi being in a campus almost 8 hours away from you with minimal transport for him to even go home let alone plan to meet you. It was going smoothly, settling into orientation and getting to know the layouts of the campus well, meeting new friends and truly taking in your next step in education. You and Yoongi would exchange day to day text messages about how orientation and the first days of classes went.

All well and good till Yoongi's texts became slower and less frequent, he would always say that he's busy with his friends there, or straight up not giving a response at all. You became more and more fearful at how this long distance thing was going to work out for the two of you.

28th Tuesday

[12:27am] hey Yoongi! I hope you had a great day, I miss you and hope you sleep well, love you!

[08:40am] Hey Babe, good morning! I'm in class now, wishing we could skip like old times haha, hope you have a great day! Text me soon

[6:48pm] Hey i just got back to my dorm after classes, it was super fun! How was your day??

[8:11pm] Yoongi?? Are you okay? Are you busy babe?

[8:24pm] I miss youuuuuuuu :(

[10:16pm] Yoongi :(

You tossed your phone to the side of your bed as you felt your tears well up, why was he suddenly avoiding you? Is he okay?? Did he get hurt? Your thoughts were spiraling, getting messier till you heard the familiar ping from your phone. You scurried to your phone to see Yoongi's name pop up on the screen. Your smile quickly faded, replaced by disappointment at his reply.

[10:43pm] Hey, was busy with friends today, going to bed now ttyl <3

You frowned and wouldn't let him go this time. The days of short texts to unreplied texts and this is how he replies now? In a fit of fury you call him.

"Hello?-"

"Yoongi what's wrong? You haven't been replying to my texts as usual are you okay??"

"Mmh I'm fine, just busy with classes and my new friends y/n"

"Well I can't accept that answer Yoongi, I'm busy with classes and friend's here too but I take the time so why can't you?"

"Hey it's not that big of a deal y/n, we're in new environments now and it'll take me some time to settle in"

"Yoongi surely you have at least 5 minutes a day to text me??"

"Yeah of course I do, I just texted you didn't i?"

"That short ass reply was what you call a text Yoongi? It really sounds like you're avoiding me"

"You know what y/n I don't have time for this right now I'm tired"

"No Yoongi, I haven't talked to you properly in days come on don't you miss me Yoongi?"

"To be honest I've been enjoying the new company here that's I haven't missed you much"

"What do you mean Yoongi? You don't think of me?"

"Not all the time no, i have other things to think about here y/n i have new responsibilities here I can't be thinking about you all the damn time, just be happy I texted you back"

"Are you threatening to not text me anymore Yoongi? Is that what you're saying? You don't wanna talk to me anymore?"

"Oh god for fucks sake y/n stop being so clingy alright? Just grow up a little!"

The sound of his voice in heightened frustration made you choke on your words, you silenced yourself as his words rang loud in your head.

"You know what y/n I don't think this will work out, I'm going to get even busier and this will just be in the way of it all"

"Yoongi…"

"I'm sorry y/n but clearly this distance is proving that we won't work out"

"Are you... breaking up with me Yoongi?.."

The pain in your voice and the soft shaky exhale doesn't go unnoticed by Yoongi. Yoongi takes a deep breath, realising he spoke too fast in frustration. As much as he did feel for you this distance was tearing you apart and Yoongi didn't want to believe it but it was the truth. He spoke softer this time giving his side of his explanation.

"Y/n, you've been nothing but amazing to me, but I realize that we were more compatible as friends, I mean think about it, we've had so many petty fights that we never had before we dated. Our growing college life will further hinder our relationship. I don't want to hurt you like this by not giving you the love and attention you deserve. I'll always love you y/n, just not as more than friends I suppose"

You couldn't believe what was happening right now, your world felt like it was crashing down on you hard and fast, you could feel the sharp stinging in your chest from how your heart was breaking the more reality hit you. Yoongi's words had reason to them, but you were still in a state of confusion. Why could you make time for Yoongi but he couldn't for you? Maybe it's because the two of you are pursuing different fields of studies? Maybe he really had better things to do? Yoongi didn't want to hurt your feelings by making you feel abandoned so he was in fact abandoning you? No? But he said he'll still love you?? Your head was spinning a bunch of thoughts ran through your head.

"Okay Yoongi...if that's what would be the best for us..then okay"

"Don't worry okay? We'll still text as usual, talk when we can okay? I won't let you go, you're still my best friend y/n"

You didn't know if his words would be comforting enough, but at that moment you took what you had and calmed your thoughts for now.

"Okay Yoongi.."

"Good, I have an early schedule tomorrow. I'll talk to you later okay? I'm going to bed now. Goodnight y/n"

"Good night Yoongi"

-----------------------💔------------------------

As it will, Yoongi and you slowly drifted apart. You would often see his social media updates about how he was actively participating in clubs, and how he had taken up new responsibilities, going to camps and hosting events at his institute and he definitely seemed to be doing well. You on the other hand fell more and more at war with your emotions, it didn't hinder your studies. Thankfully you could keep those two apart. But whenever it got a little too quiet you'd think of him, the days in highschool when you were inseparable. You missed his laugh, his endearing way of calling you the most heinous nicknames. You definitely missed his comforting arms, his words of encouragement when you were down, you wished nothing more that in this moment you were crying to him instead of because of him.

You couldn't believe that you were sitting here, broken and feeling alone by the guy that made his way into your life, and had now made his way out in the most painful way possible. You were left there clueless and confused. Did he do it for you? Was it the right thing? Did he really think of you? Why was this happening? What would have happened if you didn't date? Would things be different? Would your best friend have stayed? All these questions playing through your mind, countless nights you spent crying yourself to sleep. Thinking of how you felt almost betrayed, you cursed at yourself for sending texts to him that were only left on read or replied with a simple "I'm busy, text you later".

Slowly days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months as you hadn't spoken much to Yoongi. You became stone hearted from all that had happened and slowly you got back into yourself. You were more and more active in your college life and you were growing to be better at controlling your emotions. Sure some little things remind you of him now and then, but it was much easier by now to brush his thoughts off. As sadly as your situation was you learned to move with it and not let it consume you. Every now and then you'd see Yoongi piston updates on his progressively active life and you'd feel happy for him, you wondered if he ever felt the same for you when he saw your updates on how well you were doing.

----------------------🍃-------------------------

It had been a total of 4 years since everything happened, you were on a roll and you had graduated college. You had a few job applications pending and you were more stable with your life by now. All the questions you once had were stored in a box collection dust in the far corner of your mind.

It was a relaxing Saturday evening, you were in your apartment lounging on your bed. As you were chatting away with your friends a familiar ping aroused from your phone. The name that popped up on the screen made your heart heavy and you breathing shallow, a true ghost from your past…

"Yoongi 🥀"

Your screen read. Taking a deep breath you opened the chat.

[9:57pm] Hey y/n it's been a long time… are you free tonight? Can I call you?

You didn't know what exactly to think right now. Every cell in your brain telling you not to. That you shouldn't give into him again, and that you should just talk to him over text no matter what it was. But your heart was screaming for him, the familiar feeling of longing for him returning in a massive tsunami, washing over your thoughts. You took a deep breath to centre your thoughts and decided you'd listen to him and talk to him again.

[9:59pm] Hey Yoongi, yeah I'm free to talk.

As soon as the message was read by him, your phone rang. You took one more deep breath and answered the call.

"Hello y/n, how are you?"

You cursed in your head at how much you missed his voice, the way he spoke to you at this moment had a hint of the same longing you had for him.

"Hey..Yoongi, I'm good. How are you?"

"I've been good too.. congratulations on graduating"

"Thanks Yoongi, congratulations on graduating too.."

"Thanks…"

The silence that fell had you both reflecting on everything that happened and how fast it all went by. The box of questions in your mind burst out once again whereas Yoongi on the other hand was feeling guilt and hate towards himself for everything that he put you through. Little did you know that these last few months Yoongi was hit with the hard realisation that he had lost not only his best friend but the person he cared about the most. His family certainly did not improve and the one person who was there for him when he needed it, he had left broken hearted and abruptly once he found a new escape. Yoongi was slowly flooded with memories of you as he neared his own college graduation. He remembered your highschool graduation and how he felt for you there in that moment of time. He spent a few nights crying at the realisation that he had thought of what's best for you but didn't think of how you felt and how he had left things between the two of you.

"Why Yoongi…."

Was all you managed to say out loud before your emotions caved in. Understanding what you were asking he answered.

"I was so caught up in the new environment of growing up and moving on that I did what I thought was the best to not hurt you...but I didn't think far enough that doing so will indeed hurt you.. and I wasn't there for you like i was supposed to. It took a hard hit to my head to realise that I was wrong y/n… you were always there for me and stupidly I made this mistake… I thought i was thinking of the best for both of us, when in fact i was thinking of myself.. I was selfish and I realised that…so many things reminded me of you y/n, the clouds, the sun, the sight of roses, the smell of hot cheetos.."

You giggled a little at his last comment earning a little muffled one from Yoongi.

"I understand if you hate me for what I did to you y/n… and I don't know if it'll ever be the same between us again.. but I'm willing to try to bring back what we had... if you're willing to give me a chance…"

You exhaled softly before letting out everything that you've been feeling.

"I don't hate you Yoongi, I never could and I never will. You're everything to me Yoongi and I was just really hurt by what you did and how you ended things. So many thoughts went through my head and I won't even talk about how much you made me cry….you dipshit" the playful cursing nickname made Yoongi chuckle a little, slowly making him feel reassured at the directions of the conversation.

"I'm willing to give us a chance Yoongi..and you're right, I don't expect it to be the same as what we had, I just hate that I lost my best friend.."

"I know..i understand that..and I'm sorry..for everything"

"It's okay Yoongi, I'm sorry too… maybe I should've been more understanding…"

"Hey… do you.. wanna hang out Tomorrow night?"

"You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, i wanna see you and catch up with you"

"Sure Yoongi that'd be nice"

"Great!! I'll meet you at the café by our old highschool?"

"Sure Yoongi, sounds great"

"Right then, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow Yoongi"

You could hear the smiles in each other's voices as you both bid goodnight and hung up the phone. You didn't know what it was exactly but you knew just from that phone call that everything was going to be alright. You felt like you breathed much easier now, your mind much lighter. Yoongi felt the same, he was smiling more now filled with the excitement of meeting you again tomorrow after years.

-----------------------✨------------------------

You made sure to check yourself out in the mirror a few more times before heading towards the café. You had chosen to wear a simple yet stylish outfit, your hair tied back in a low loose ponytail, your short hairs framing your face. You were nervous yet excited to be reunited with your best friend again. And as you approach the café, there he was. Standing outside the door of the café waiting for you. The now slightly more mature looking, dark fluffy haired man, wearing a long black coat was looking just as nervous and excited as he was looking down at his feet.

"I didn't know you needed glasses to see now"

your voice made him turn his head fast in your direction. The moment his gaze landed on you, it felt like highschool all over again. The way you looked standing there, just centimetres away from him. He took in your slightly matured face yet he told himself that you hadn't changed one bit.

"It's official, you're old Yoongi"

He chuckled and playfully scoffed at your comment.

"Well at least i don't dress like the satanic spawn of depression and hot cheetos"

"Sure thing Mr. I'm still a millennial emo teen"

The two of you laughed, and the world seemed to slow down. The feeling that nothing ever really changed between the two of you was knowing, however this time something felt entirely different. Both of you could feel it for sure. It was the feeling of a bond stronger than both friendship and love. You didn't know what the feeling was exactly, all that you knew was that you're never losing each other again. All this while you've been sitting there watching the feelings you had burn and crash in the worst way possible, but today right here at this café, right in front of your eyes you watched everything Begin Again.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts au #yoongi fanfic #bts min yoongi #min yoongi #bts yoongi #kpop fluff #bts fluff #bts angst

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georgiasfm · 3 years

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╰ ･ﾟ. * 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐘 ;

[ scarlett leithold, cis female, she/her ] have you seen GEORGIA CALLOWAY lately ? yeah, i heard they're TWENTY TWO years old and a REALITY TV STAR/PODCAST HOST now in charleston city. i mean, i don’t know if it’s their LEO vibes or that they’re -OBSTINATE and -CAPRICIOUS but also +GREGARIOUS and +EMPYREAN but they remind me of MIND GAMES by BANKS. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble around here.

hey besties ! i’m ley , i’m 20 ( well .... i will be at midnight ) , i go by she / her pronouns , and i’m livin’ in the est timezone ! i unfortunately have a super busy weekend bc it’s my birthday , so i won’t be able to be around as much as i want to be. but i’m gonna do my best to as active as possible ! thankfully i wrote this intro ahead of time so for once it isn’t a complete disaster ( it’s still not good tho so don’t have high expectations ) anyways , here’s miss georgia calloway !!

𝐈 . 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 :

FULL NAME : georgia belle calloway . AGE : twenty - two . DATE OF BIRTH : july 23rd . ASTROLOGY SIGNS : leo sun , aquarius moon , pisces ascendant . GENDER : cis woman . PRONOUNS : she / her / hers . SEXUALITY : bisexual . MOTHER : diane calloway : former pageant & debutante queen turned stay at home mom / trophy wife . FATHER : jack calloway : career politician & mayor of charleston . SIBLINGS : georgia is the middle child of five kids . two older brothers , two younger sisters . POSITIVE TRAITS : gregarious , vehement , alluring , venturesome , empyrean , altruistic . NEGATIVE TRAITS : obstinate , reticent , flighty , temerarious , capricious . AESTHETICS : the patter of raindrops against glass windows , the lingering scent cigarettes mixed with sweet perfume , drinking honey whiskey out of red solo cups , watching constellations with exhausted eyes , sneaking out by means of the vine trellis , leaving texts unanswered for days , a box of pageant awards hidden away in the closet , secrets that weigh more than gold on cherry stained lips , bending every rule just enough to get away with it , wrinkled white satin dresses and knee high ruffled socks , one too many bottomless mimosas at brunch , hearts drawn on fogged glass mirrors , lollipop stained lips . CHARACTER INSPO : brooke davis ( one tree hill ) , sarah cameron ( obx ) , lux lisbon ( the virgin suicides ) , jackie burkhart ( that 70s show ) .

click here for a quick trip to her pinterest bc it describes her better than i ever could !!

( tw ; infidelity , death , drunk driving )

𝐈𝐈 . 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 :

from the second she was born , georgia was treated as her mother’s little doll. diane had been ecstatic the day she found out she was with child for the second time , and even more ecstatic to find out she would be having their first little girl. she was dressed up in pink dresses and frilly socks , shown off to all of the women country or her mother’s weekly book club nights. she was the apple of her parent’s eyes , until she wasn’t. with brunette tresses & honey brown eyes , georgia was adored by everyone .... her beauty noted with claims that she would grow up to be a heartbreaker. her mother thrived on the compliments ; the subtle reminders to what her own childhood had been like. she had always planned on having a little girl that she could do pageants with just like she had with her own mother , and darling little georgia was perfect for that. at such a young age , georgia fell in love with the pageants. she thrived in the spotlight , with all eyes on her. and just like her mother , she won every competion she was entered in , until she didn’t. by the age of nine , georgia was starting to grow bored of the constant pageants and recitals , wanting to explore other interests. by that point , diane’s interest in her had worn off and moved onto the next child , a five year old with beautiful blonde curls and dimpled cheeks. georgia grew to know the subtle ache of rejection , and from that day forward , did everything she could to win back her mother’s affection.

from the outside , the calloway’s came off as the picture perfect family. but from the inside ? things were quite the opposite. georgia’s parents had unmeetable expectations for their children. get perfect grades , nothing below a b acceptable. sit down , look pretty , and shut up. don’t cause a scandal. their love was entirely conditional , only being shown when their was something they believed deserved rewarding. if you were to ask georgia , she wouldn’t be able to tell you the last time her mother actually hugged her for genuine reasons , and not to manipulate her into doing what she wanted. their father was rarely home , always away working or traveling for work. it became obvious that he was having an affair –– multiple affairs , but diane just looked the other way. the calloway family was very prominent in charleston , especially with her father being elected mayor , and their was nothing that diane would allow to ruin their image. even if it cost her own happiness.

things got considerably more difficult around the calloway home when georgia was sixteen. her eldest brother had gone out for a night of fun with a group of friends , and made the fatal mistake of getting into a car with someone who was far too drunk to drive. georgia will never forget the conversation she overheard from the living room that night ; “ they were drunk. lost control of the vehicle. died on impact. ” it tore the family apart , dividing them even more than they already were. georgia couldn’t stand the silence of her home after her brother’s death. so she started partying constantly , going on 48 hour benders and staying out long past her curfew. she couldn’t even recognize herself in the mirror. gone was their innocent little girl , the apple of their eyes. even this couldn’t get the attention of her parents , they barely even noticed she was gone most of the time ; all they did was yell at her to not make them look like fools.

for her whole life , georgia followed her parent’s rules. after graduating high school , she was expected required to go college and get a degree , but georgia just couldn’t be bothered. this is the one time she went against her parent’s wishes. her fear of being stuck here forever , with the same life as her parents ; a husband that doesn’t love her and miserable children , won out over the need for approval from her parents. so she ran off to la , and landed herself on love island usa after being approached by a producer. georgia is reality tv gold , and quickly became a fan favorite. her most memorable moment being after she got her heart broken on live tv , when she purposely held up a lighter to set off fire alarms ; and then laid on the ground getting drenched by the sprinklers. so now she’s single again after being made a fool of in front of the world , back home with parents that hate her for bringing them unwanted attention , and stuck in the city she tried to get away from. but , she’s got a podcast. it’s called the bimbo summit and it’s pretty much the only thing bringing her joy right now. it started as a way for her to expose some behind the scenes shit from love island , but now it’s just for fun.

𝐈𝐈𝐈 . 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 :

georgia is the girl that’s not easy to forget. she’s outgoing and amiable , but stubborn and not easy to push over. she was the one that moms would warn their kids to stay away from in high school ; she leaves a trail of destruction wherever she goes , no matter how hard she tries not to. she has the purest of intentions , genuinely just wanting love & happiness for herself and everyone around her , but it seems like the universe has different plans.

she almost has this air of melancholy surrounding her ? like even when she’s happy and smiling , you can still sense it or see in her eyes that she’s not truly happy

very charismatic , she’s a major people pleaser so she’ll put everyone else’s feelings before her own . she just wants everyone to be happy even if it means she ends up being miserable .

georgia’s a selective oversharer . she’ll tell you all these useless little facts so you think she’s opening up when in reality you don’t truly know her because she refuses to talk about the things that matter .

she’s trusting once she gets to know someone , but if you break that trust even once she’s not very quick to forgive. she’ll hear you out , but it’s unlikely that she’ll ever let you back in.

she is completely unhinged. somehow picks the worst possible decision every time a problem arises. she’s not much of a logical thinker , and tends to let her heart make decisions for her. it’s gotten her into a world of trouble one too many times , and yet she’s never learnt her lesson.

she’s also a serial dater. in her pea brain attention = love so she’ll flock to wherever she gets that. she likes the validation of relationships but hates the commitment , so pretty much all of her relationships end before they ever really start.

don’t ever tell georgia she can’t do something. she’s a stubborn bitch and she’ll either do it immediately just to spite you or dedicate her entire life to proving you wrong and that’s not something anyone needs to deal with.

very opinionated and not afraid to make sure you know !! she will stand up for what she’s believes in without even a second of hesitation.

she would not be caught dead looking unpresentable .... she’ll do her hair and a full face of make up even if she’s waking up at 4am. and don’t even bother to ask her to go out after she’s done her skin care routine .... there’s no chance

doesn’t really know how to handle her emotions ? so when she’s hurt she tends to just .... shut down & push everyone away

she is a hardcore adrenaline junkie , she does so much stupid shit just for the thrill. making spontaneous and impulsive decisions is her favorite pass time. she just holds a lot of emotion in , so anything that will release all of that or make her feel anything other than the things she’s avoiding are very much welcomed.

#charleston:intro

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snkpolls · 3 years

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SnK Episode 71 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 176 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

RATE THE EPISODE 172 responses

This week’s episode keeps up the high mark of the previous episodes, with 98.8% of respondents giving the episode a score of 3 or higher (overwhelmingly 4s and 5s). Nice!

It was aight.

It's cool

8.5/10

great!

Very rocky imo in terms of animation, as the cracks are beginning to show but overall look like the backgrounds and music choices were top tier.

Really good episode, I was disappointed in the jacket scene but it’s not the end of the world

loved it

It was overall a great episode I loved it.

🔥🔥🔥

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 174 responses

46.6% of respondents overall were most excited to see Eren meeting up with Floch and the others, with 23.6% of those respondents favoring the scene of Eren putting on his jacket specifically. 12.1% most enjoyed seeing the angry citizens shouting out the Survey Corps motto. 9.8% were thrilled to see Zackley’s death animated. 8% were psyched to see Pieck in disguise at the end, and 6.9% most enjoyed the moment where Hitch caught Armin red-handed trying to touch Annie’s crystal.

YOUR REACTION TO EREN PUTTING ON HIS JACKET? 171 responses

Eren putting on his jacket was a scene many obsessed over when it first appeared on page and many looked forward to seeing it animated. Most of the response choices were focused on various forms of swooning over Eren and his abs. Some (13.5%) stated that they didn’t really understand the dramatism and some others (another 13.5%) simply stated that they did not see much in Eren outright. We’ve gotten a lot of write-ins about comparisons to the pre-animated trailer shot of said scene. More on that in a later question.

i mean i understand the thirst, but eh

Prefer manga :/

The trailer did it better

Meh. Better in the trailer and the manga.

TF was that? Well it's still good in its own way.

YES! YES! YES! YES! Y E S!

both "HOOOOOLYYYYYY 😳" and "so dramatic and for what?"

Trailer/Manga shot was way better

Manga shot/trailer version are way better. Dissapointed

Trailer looked better :(

Mappa only made Reiner thicc, why Eren is so frain he has 1,85! He is so strong in the manga

I don't care

Manbun.........👀

He can have my babies anytime 😌💅🏻

Not as sexy as advertised; that’s okay, though.

That scene looked weird af ngl. It looked better in the trailer 😔

Me after THAT eren scene: 🤰🏻🤰🏻🤰🏻

Eren makes my dick rise

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU NOW THAT WE APPEAR TO BE GOING BACK TO LEVI AND ZEKE’S PERSPECTIVE NEXT WEEK FOR A BIT? 171 responses

Levi and Zeke’s chemistry has been the subject of praise for many, so it’s no wonder that 87.1% of respondents are rather excited to get back to seeing Levi and Zeke again. Wow!

ARE ARMIN’S FEELINGS FOR ANNIE GENUINELY HIS OWN? 173 responses

Armin’s feelings for Annie have been looked at under a microscope for a variety of reasons, which is why we’re asking if you believe that his feelings for her are genuine. A plurality, 49.1% think that they’re a mixture of his feelings for her, as well Bertolt’s. Slightly less (30.6%) believe that Armin’s feelings for her existed since before any of the recent developments. Only a select few believe that he either became interested in her post-timeskip or that his feelings are solely influenced by Bertolt. One person doesn’t think Armin has any feelings for Annie at all. And a few others just don’t care.

Bertmin simping for Annie and that apparently being enough for her to start considering him as boyfriend material is the fucking worst. I hate this shit. It's made me like both characters considerably less.

Uhh Armin where ya reaching?!

He was interested with her even before it was revealed she was the Female Titan and now that he has Bertholdt's memories, he sympathizes with her too and wants to understand her more so maybe Bert's memories intensified his feelings

His feelings for Annie are mostly his own. Bert's feelings might be in there a little, but the feelings are still Armin's.

CONTINUITY ALERT! EREN HAS HIS HAIR UP IN A BUN IN YELENA’S FLASHBACK. THOUGHTS? 173 responses

Uh-oh, Eren’s hairstyle moment. It would appear that there might be a continuity error with Yelena’s flashback and whatever that means for the timeline. A slight plurality (37%) didn’t seem to care about this, actually. But 33.5% appeared to believe that it was a mistake on MAPPA’s part that might get fixed in the BluRay version of the episode. 16.8% also believe that it was a mistake, but don’t believe it’ll get fixed. 9.8% think that it’s actually a retcon and that Eren’ll have the man bun when Chapter 123 gets adapted in Final Season Part 2.

I hope it gets fixed because it's bugging me.

I really wish it was like how it was in the manga. Eren looks good with his hair down in his 16-17-year-old phase. Despite the error, it wasn't a deal breaker for the episode.

He looks totally gorgeous with his hair up in a bun, please let this mistake be

Honestly I don’t mind it. It looks great either way.

Eren in a manbun is a total win for me!

WHICH PIECES OF INFORMATION MISSING FROM YELENA’S ADMISSION IN THE MANGA DO YOU WISH WOULD HAVE BEEN INCLUDED IN THE ADAPTATION? 163 responses

As with almost all dialogue-heavy chapters in this series, there are cuts. In this episode, these cuts mostly affected the conversation between Yelena and Pixis. The most yearned for cut material was Yelena never telling Eren to go along with the plan and Yelena saying that she used Floch as a “go-between” between her and Eren. Others also noted missing lines about Yelena wanting Eren to stand up for himself, Yelena stating that Zeke gave the volunteers a hopeful future and the idea that her and Eren came to quick agreement. The plurality (31.9%) however, didn’t seem to mind any cuts.

WHAT ARE YOU OVERALL FEELINGS ABOUT SOME OR ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED DETAILS BEING CUT? 161 responses

There is often a sort of expectation to have everything (or almost every) line from the manga adapted in the anime, so it’s interesting to see how people react to that sort of stuff. An almost 50% of respondents stated that they didn’t really care about the cuts, whereas smaller handfuls of respondents stated that the cuts either took away from the characterization of the conversation, or from the context and timeline-building purposes.

I'm not thrilled about the cuts, but I understand MAPPA can only fit so much in on each episode, so I'm okay with it

the yelena/volunteers plot has always been wonky and hard to follow

I don’t think it’s a problem, they need to cut certain things.

i literally never notice but i agree that it makes it harder to piece things together

Meh

It might seem for anime watchers that Yelena didnt do much, and Floch and Zeke that did the most part, in their own plans. Floch to betray and Zeke in predicting Eren wouldnt be on his side in some way. Yelena helped Zeke a lot to where he arrived in the rumbling

All of the above

ZACKLEY WALKS OVER TO HIS TORTURE MACHINE IN THE ANIME BEFORE MIKASA ASKS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO EREN, RATHER THAN GLANCE OVER AT IT AFTER HER QUESTION. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE? 170 responses

There was a partially comedic insinuation in the manga that Zackley thought about strapping Eren to his “art piece”. The insinuation is possibly still there in the anime, but in a different form. So we asked how you felt about it. Slightly below a half (48.8%) stated that they thought the subtlety was still there. 18.8% thought the subtlety was lost with the small change and 8.8% believed the change made Zackley seem less unhinged. 21.8% really didn’t care at all.

Why is this a question?

The glance was funny as fuck in the manga, but might have been awkward to pull of in the animation

They're blown up tho, does it even matter?

DID EREN KNOW ABOUT THE BOMB? 170 responses

Whether Eren truly knew about the bomb is a bit unclear to this day and with how it endangered Armin and Mikasa. A plurality (40%) believe he knew about the bomb, but did not know about his childhood friends meeting Zackley. Slightly less (30.6%) think that Eren did not know about either the bomb or AM meeting the Artist. A minority (7.1%) does believe that Eren knew about both the bomb and meeting and 21.8% simply aren’t sure!

Even if he didn’t know, he obviously doesn’t care either way.

THERE IS SOME DEBATE ABOUT WHETHER EREN’S JACKET SCENE WAS BETTER ANIMATED IN THE PROMOTIONAL VIDEO OR IN THE EPISODE ITSELF. WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE? 170 responses

Here we go… The elephant in the room… Which Eren abs scene did you prefer? The Promotional video or the actual episode? A somewhat slight majority (57.1%) seemed to like the version seen in the promotional video more than the episode itself versus the ones who preferred the episode’s style (42.9%).

THE EPISODE MARKS THE BEGINNING OF FLOCH’S ACTIONS AS THE VOICE OF THE YEAGERISTS. HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT IT? 170 responses

Floch has always been a controversial character and the developments seen post-time skip have not been any less debatable. You may floching love him or floching hate, but he’s here and he’s staying for a while. A plurality (48.8%) notes that although they may not personally be a fan of the character, they truly do appreciate the nuance his appearance gives to the story. Just over a quarter (25.3%) stated that as big fans of the character, they’re looking forward to all the screentime the Flochster will receive. In contrast, 20.6% despise the man and his questionable haircut and are also dreading the showcase he’ll soon receive.

I hate Floch and will cheer again when he dies, but I enjoy his character.

I detest Floch but I'm not dreading all the screen time he'll take up.

Since he died in the manga, my hatred for him has cooled down somewhat now that I'm watching the anime.

I am once again asking for you to shut the fuck up, Floch.

WE KNOW NOW THAT EREN DID CONSPIRE WITH FLOCH TO BETRAY ZEKE TO ENACT THE RUMBLING. STILL, DO YOU BELIEVE HE DID IT BECAUSE HE HAS THE SAME BELIEFS AS FLOCH, OR WAS HE JUST USING FLOCH AND THE YEAGERISTS AS A MEANS TO AN END? 161 responses

An overwhelming amount of respondents (87.6%) stated that they believe Eren never truly saw eye to eye with Floch and his ideology and that Eren was simply using Floch as a means to an end. In contrast, 9.3% truly do think that Eren was ideologically similar to Floch and the “New Eldian Empire”. A select few thought you couldn’t just say one way or another.

They both wanted to protect Paradis

DO YOU THINK IF THE YEAGERISTS, BESIDES FLOCH, KNEW ABOUT THE FULL SCALE RUMBLING BEFOREHAND THAT THEY WOULD WILLINGLY FOLLOW EREN? 167 responses

The majority (53.3%) feel that the Yeagerists would see a divide if they knew beforehand that Eren wanted to initiate the rumbling, with some sticking around for the cause and others possibly leaving because it’s too extreme. 25.1% believe that they all would have fully supported the rumbling in the name of their own survival. 15% believe that every Yeagerist already knew about the plan to commence the rumbling, and only 6% feel that they would most certainly have betrayed the Yeager brothers (and Floch) if they had known.

I don’t know, this is a loaded question and I’m tired.

DO YOU THINK THAT, IF THE STORY ENDS PEACEFULLY, MIKASA WILL HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY IN HIZURU? 170 responses

While this plotline may not be going anywhere in the manga (or so it seems), the reminder of its existence is brought to light again as we revisit these older moments from the manga. 32.4% feel that Mikasa wouldn’t leave Paradis behind to start a life on Hizuru. 23.5% think that she wouldn’t leave Paradis behind, necessarily, but will still have a role to play in Hizuru. 21.2% think it doesn’t matter because Isayama has completely discarded (or forgotten) about this plotline. 12.4% don’t know what to predict (if anything) and only 8.2% believe that her future lies in Hizuru beyond the main storyline.

The last two options plus me not caring. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hizuru is already rumbled, gone, but she will continue the azumabito clan in paradis

Is no one else gonna question Kiyomi's hair being sucked into her skull??? HELLO MA'AM???

Hizuru is likely flattened

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 171 responses

Episode 72 has already broadcasted as of the completion of this poll. For scenes that were most anticipated, 35.7% were most looking forward to seeing Levi and Zeke’s interaction in the forest. 33.3% most looked forward to Niccolo leaning straight from Gabi’s mouth that she is Sasha’s killer. 18.7% highly anticipated the Blouses learning about Gabi killing Sasha, and 9.4% were looking forward to Gabi/Falco and the Blouses gathering at Niccolo’s restaurant. Only a small amount were looking forward to Niccolo protecting Jean and Connie from drinking the wine.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Man the animation was gonky

no levi </3

So many faces of Niles are weirds !

Let hange aloneeeeeeee and happy, please

I have no word for this, but I feeling good

Shit is getting really real now!

Everyone talking about Eren’s abs and I just wanna say the music in that scene was amazing!

I loved how it was all neatly put together and fast moving

Armin looked so good. Homie walked from point A to B and i SCREAMED. Thank you.

i wish they included eren's warhammer escape from the prison, besides that solid episode all around, the people chanting 'dedicate your hearts' gave me chills

I can't stand Hitch at all but MAPPA made her really pretty. Re: The jacket scene The trailer version was pretty much identical to the manga panel. But I liked the version that made it into the final episode too. People have been so ridiculous about MAPPA ""ruining everything"" this season, they should stop watching if that's how they feel. I thought Eren looked great and found the sun shining on his abs funny. The scenery was better in the episode, imo. I hope they don't cut Jean's line about booze not caring about what race you are. Lmao

Meh. It's not bad of course, I just find the rythm weird and I don't really feel many emotions watching the episodes. And I was so thirsty for the jacket scene, and it turned out weird too.

Mappa pls stop drawing eren like shit he is gorgeous in the manga

MMGH SOON!! LET'S GOOOOOOO

You friccin moron, you just got zooked!

i miss eremin </3

Wish they had shown how eren used his titan powers to escape.

I'm so not looking forward to the controversy that's gonna be reignited during the EMA talk scene. I'm actually dreading it, but we'll finally get the Levi vs Beast Titan scene so I'll be fine

112 will destroy ships

I felt the animation was flawless as usual but the script was kinda boring, I expected more of these aspects: -Yelena, it was bland with the cuts -Hange, they cut something I cant figure what in this Yeagerists coup act that turned her scenes a little bit lacking? Idk something -Again the soundtrack in the episodes is so silent. The only episode so far I liked the ost beyond the Opening and Closing themes is Reiner episode. I miss the melodrama of Witstudio osts

Eren putting his jacket on in slow-speed whilst talking at regular speed is fucking trippy

Just happy to see Hitch!

It was slow and mainly plot driven. I enjoyed it despite the changes.

goddamn is that a hella well-animated explosion

more abs please

Great episode. Really ridiculous how many people overreacted about the jacket scene. It's ok to perfer the way the trailer did it but to those who say Mappa is ruining the adaptation because of minor things like this, calm down.

I wish the jacket scene was better But over all the ep is pretty good

Boring, but then again so was this phase in the manga.

I really like the VA they chose for Onyankopon! His voice is very warm and genuine, which suits his character well

The sunset was so aesthetically pleasing

yoooo just read ch. 138 and im crying in da club :(

These MAPPA episodes have been a low point for me. I’m trying to enjoy them because I love this story but it feels like a chore.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 161 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

#snk poll #snk polls #snk spoilers #snk s4 #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot

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prompt-master · 3 years

Note

Would you be willing to share how you might rewrite Yukizome, Sakakura, and Munakata to make them likable characters (if not ppl Bc there’s a big difference)???

ahhhhhhh this ask got me so stupidly excited that I was like wavin my hands around. I think about how to rewrite their characters OFTEN. very often. I’m gonna go with likeable character over likeable people because I think they work better where they’re actually not that likeable people.

The one I think about the MOST is Munakata. He was SUCH wasted potential and I partially blame the medium for that (a single season anime is too constrained for future, it needed more time and care to be a proper story). But Munakata is actually so close to being a compelling character but they made some MAJOR mistakes with him. This ended up getting really long and more like a 3 page ADHD ramble essay. SO IM VERY SORRY to anyone who cannot read this but TYTYTY if you did because these ideas make me very happy! Oh it’s only about Munakata btw because of how long it got

The thing about Munakata is that he is designed to be a foil to Naegi. In fact a majority of dr3 future FOCUSES on this foil dynamic. It is Naegi’s hope vs Munakata’s hope. The World’s hope vs The FF’s hope. And more importantly it is True Hope vs Corrupted Hope.

This is a fantastic concept...so why didn’t it work in canon? I think that the biggest most glaring issue with Munakata’s hope is his logic. Munakata is meant to be a logical man, although with corrupted morals that lead him astray. Yet in canon his logic is laughably infallible. For example as a major figure in the FF and someone who wants to spread hope....why would he tell Naegi to kill himself? More importantly why does he continue to try and slaughter Naegi? The issue here isn’t from the fact that he wants him dead but from the fact that he is under the IMPRESSION that this entire game is being broadcast to the world.

Think about this for a second. In Munakata’s eyes he is going to kill the Ultimate Hope, an international symbol of a better life, live on TV. He doesn’t just want to kill the Ultimate Hope..he wants to do it BRUTALLY as a MAJOR FIGURE OF THE FF. IMO this should have happened later on as the game furthers the emotional turmoil in Munakata’s head and he eventually snaps and gives in to the desire to kill Naegi despite the fact that this is live. And then there should be CONSEQUENCES for that. I wanted so badly a realization where Munakata realizes that he is hurting the Ultimate Hope in front of what he believes is the entire world.

Another issue with Munakata’s logic is saying things such as...implying that the HPA KG was...just a game. I mean...people DIED. it's not hard to see how wrong that logic is. you can't say “this is the real world now” when what Naegi experienced WAS the real world. I think that this could be fixed through a bit of world building. DR3 Future is rather isolated from its world. We don’t really know much about the world and its dynamics. I think it would make perfect sense if the general public viewed the HPA KG as a tv show, they got numb to the sight and even those untouched by despair had a hard time connecting that these are REAL people suffering. With this previously established Munakata expressing that the KG was not real would make a lot more sense and play into his corrupted idea of hope.

There is also Munakata’s connection to his other friends. Now I’ve talked about this before but the game was clearly designed to BREAK Munakata and Naegi. This way the FF would die, both the FF and World’s hope would be broken, and upon seeing this Mitarai would have no choice but to deploy his own forced hope. So it makes perfect sense that Yukizome’s death would break him (in fact if she hadn’t died in that way, her NG code was designed to be Munakata’s fault). But something about it felt...superficial. Again I think this is the mediums fault but it almost feels as though Munakata just forgets about Yukizome until later. I think they should spend more time establishing his pain and what he has lost and why this pushes him to kill. In his eyes if she can die then nothing else matters. It should be THE breaking point, not the first push. I do like the betrayal he feels towards realizing she had despair but it needed more time to fester.

And his relationship with Sakakura also felt weak. In all honesty it was hard for me to feel as though they were ever friends. Sakakura is written as though he just follows Munakata like a loyal dog and Munakata just orders him around. Establish their relationship more! Why are they such good friends? Why is Sakakura important to him? And more importantly why did Munakata decide to cruelly gut Sakakura knowing he was about to confess? This is because he believed that Sakaura was despair and that his confession was more manipulation, but they didn’t show this well at ALL. Munakata just comes across as a major a-sshole who does not care. I also personally found it distasteful that when changing his heart Munakata only seemed to cry for Yukizome. I understand that was his love interest but Yukizome at the end of the day killed herself. Sakakura however was an unnecessary betrayal he took into his own hands AS HE HIMSELF KILLED HIM. He should have more guilt over that! Not just in that moment where he runs to Sakakura, but ahead of time as well! Maybe even DURING his rampage they could have shown him having moments of guilt but he is so absorbed in the idea that all despairs have to die that he doesn’t even realize he has become despair in the name of hope.

A BIG weakness on Munakata’s part comes with interacting with other characters. He is a man who should know how to take charge, lead, and doesn't know what to do when things are getting too crazy even though he THINKS he does. Munakata is heavily flawed, OBVIOUSLY flawed, but many of the interactions with him are as tho his rampage isnt a big deal. There should be reasons for this! Why do people trust Munakatas guidance so much? I dont know! All ive seen from him is that hes insane! Maybe even pieces where around others hes a lot nicer so you can understand why they follow him, even though hes ready to gut Naegi alive with a flaming katana. His interactions with others feel like the writers just wanted to see the next big evil thing they could think of, but for Munakata’s character this doesn't make sense because he was appointed a high status in the foundation for a reason. Maybe even have people say they disagree with some of his methods but at the end of the day he gets the job done!

There is another major missed opportunity here and it's why Muanakata wants Naegi dead so badly in the first place. The remnants. Hiding terrorists in the apocalypse is a PERFECTLY valid reason to want someone dead and think they're a bad guy! But I think since Naegis initial arrest was already so hostile and violent we get the sense that the FF is simply just...crazy.

And let’s think about what Munakata WANTS from Naegi. He does not just want Naegi dead he wants something worse. He wants Naegi to suffer first. He thinks that Naegi doesnt understand his own personal pain. He thinks that because Naegi protected the remnants he must also not care about the suffering the remnants caused. He wants Naegi to feel despair and then die. This is important to his corrupted hope. He thinks the suffering must be shared in order to understand who must die, but he is creating a cycle of pain. Tie this back to the broadcasting issue. He wants Naegi to break for everyone to see. I think..and this is just a concept..I think it would have been a great idea for Munkata to force Naegi to watch the despair video so that he has no choice but to understand.

AND themes are majorly important to Danganronpa. And I don’t think its a stretch to say that there are parallels between Munakata and Naegi. In fact I would say that there are aspects of the og trio in this new trio. I think it would have been really cool if they showed how our favorite trio could have ended up if they had been corrupted as well. But the parrellels dont stick strongly. I think it would have been cool to show a past where Munakata’s idealism lies more strongly than Naegis. As the student council president there was a time where he himself had to use his words to solve problems. Perhaps he learned that sometimes his words made things worse. Munakata does not have Naegi’s talent of emotional intelligence. He is a man of action over words. So he interprets this as WORDS being the problem rather than understanding he does not have these skills. Especially when the apocalypse breaks out, it becomes all action over words. So he sees Naegi who is all talk as a genuine threat who will let everyone die through his “weak ineffective” idea of hope.

Another parallel could be drawn from the fact that they both have hope based careers. Their job is too keep things hopeful. Maybe Naegi stays safe doing public broadcasted speeches, while Munakata is on the field weeding out despairs. This would cause Munakata to feel as though Naegi is doing no real work yet getting all the credit for being a savior.

Munakata constantly complains that Naegi does not know true pain. But he and we as an audience have followed Naegi through his entire process of trauma. We know he is in the wrong. But what do we as an audience know about Munakata’s suffering? We are shown almost nothing! There are some implications, but for how intense he is implications are not enough. We need to see his suffering. We should see how he has witnessed death. Yukizomes death is not nearly enough for this because he talks as though he has suffered for years. How can we as an audience understand that when we have never seen it? How can we understand Munakata when he is outright denying Naegi’s trauma that we KNOW existed with no proper justification for his reasoning?

I also believe that Munakata should have died. It actually upsets me a bit that he was PLANNED to die but didn't. He should have died protecting Naegi after all that suffering and relentless brutality he offered him. Munakata again is a man of action over word, and protecting Naegi with his last breath is the perfect way to show how in the end he changed. Especially when all he wanted initially was for Naegi to die. I find that much more satisfying than just…...walking off to who knows where.

So lets recap some changes. Munakata needs a proper display of his past traumas and his relationship with Sakakura and Yukizome. Munakata needs a proper display of his work relationships and the respect he has earned. Munakata needs to fall into corruption at a better pace, and have geniune reasons for his illogical attacks on Naegi. Munakata needs to care more for his friends. Munakata needs to deal with the turmoil of wanting to hurt Naegi while he believes the world is watching. Munakata needs to die for Naegi

This has gotten long...and I still have things to say. There is so much to make Munakata a good character. Future had a lot of potential and is amazing for a rewrite concept. As for Sakakura and Yukizome since this has gotten long feel free to ask for another round of this individually when asks are open again! If you read all of this somehow….TYSM

#ask #danganronpa #kyosuke munakata #dr3 #dr3 spoilers #analysis #???#sorry sorry sorry ahhhhh i have so much to say fuuuuihkhuhi

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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

Text

Written In The Stars LXXXIX (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: I’m sorry for the last chapter, I’m not tho

P.S. I made a spotify playlist with all the songs I’ve put so far in the story, I’ll leave the link here :) -Danny

Words: 1,992

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: Catch Me -by Demi Lovato

Chapter Twenty-Four: Misconceptions.

She hated that she cared so much now, everything was relevant, every mistake felt like a missed opportunity.

She'd almost kissed him merely a month ago, and she would've kissed him tonight if it weren't because he'd chosen to blame her for the attention some boys were paying to her.

For Harry, it made sense that Mel would rather spend time with a Quidditch celebrity or a popular Gryffindor than to spend it with him. He was jealous of the Slytherin that managed to change her mind about their least favourite house, and if that wasn't about enough, Erick also had a very attractive cousin, in case Mel needed more options.

She surely had the talent to befriend good-looking boys, she had to at least admit that.

Mel was always changing plans, giving him the best presents, defending his bloody honour! What else does she have to do to convince him that she will always choose him?!

"I saw it this morning, Severus!" An angry voice exclaimed over the bushes. "It looks almost fresh like they just tattooed it in my skin!"

"Really?" Snape's voice came out with disinterest. "Must've been a trick of the light..."

"You know it wasn't! It's an omen! A terrible omen!"

"Quite honestly, I don't see what there is to fuss about, Igor."

Mel realized she'd get in trouble if they were to find her eavesdropping on their conversation, so she tried to flee. However, she crashed against someone's front, Mel grunted and turned around quickly, "Sorry!"

Harry blinked in surprise, probably not expecting to see her.

"Severus, you cannot pretend this isn't happening!" The voice was getting closer. "It's been getting clearer and clearer for months. I am becoming seriously concerned, I can't deny it —"

"Then flee," Snape replied. "Flee — I will make your excuses. I, however, am remaining at Hogwarts."

Mel jumped out of Harry's grip, fearing that Snape could find a fitting reason to take points away since he seemed to be registering the bushes in search for rulebreakers.

"Ten points from Ravenclaw, Fawcett! And ten points from Hufflepuff too, Stebbins!– And what are you three doing?"

"We're walking," Ron told Snape. "Not against the law, is it?"

"Keep walking, then!" And with that, both men were gone.

"What's got Karkaroff all worried?" Ron muttered.

"Dunno, he was talking about some mark on his skin," Mel kept her eyes on them until they disappeared. "Said something about bad omens..."

"Since when have he and Snape been on first-name terms?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Is weird–" She shared a look with the boy, then remembered she was mad at him and turned hot on her heel without a second glance.

"Wait!" Harry called after her.

Unfortunately, she had to stop a second time when she heard Hagrid's voice coming from the bench ahead of them. Mel hushed him and indicated both boys to be quiet before pointing at the bench. Harry turned to see if they could go back and tapped Ron's shoulder to get his attention and tell him to go back. Ron strongly refused when he saw Fleur there with her date and pulled them closer to the shadows so no one could see them.

"You better hope Snape doesn't find us here, Ronald," Mel whispered angrily.

"Shh!"

"What did you know, 'Agrid?" Madame Maxime was saying.

'I hate this, I hate this, I hate this,' Mel echoed in her mind, eyes fixed on a beetle slowly crawling up the reindeer statue where they were currently hiding.

"I jus' knew... knew you were like me... Was it yer mother or yer father?"

"I — I don't know what you mean, 'Agrid..."

"It was my mother. She was one o' the las' ones in Britain. 'Course, I can' remember her too well... she left, see. When I was abou' three. She wasn' really the maternal sort. Well... it's not in their natures, is it? Dunno what happened to her... might be dead fer all I know..."

"Mel," Harry tried a second time. "Mel, I'm sorry about what I said before, I didn't mean–"

"Are you really trying to do this now?" She hissed. "Shut up!"

"Me dad was broken-hearted when she wen'. Tiny little bloke, my dad was. By the time I was six, I could lift him up an' put him on top o' the dresser if he annoyed me. Used ter make him laugh... Dad raised me... but he died, o' course, jus' after I started school. Sorta had ter make me own way after that. Dumbledore was a real help, mind. Very kind ter me, he was..." Hagrid blew his nose loudly.

Mel jumped and Harry pulled her back quickly, she noticed his hand lingered on her waist afterwards. She didn't try to push it away, for now.

"So... anyway... enough abou' me. What about you? Which side you got it on?"

"It is chilly," Madame Maxime stood up. "I think I will go in now."

"Eh? No, don' go! I've — I've never met another one before!"

"Anuzzer what, precisely?"

The hand on her waist tightened and her shoulders tensed, they were preparing for impact.

"Another half-giant, o' course!"

" 'Ow dare you!" Madame Maxime gasped. "I 'ave nevair been more insulted in my life! 'Alf-giant? Moi? I 'ave — I 'ave big bones!" She stormed off into the castle, after a minute of dense silence, Hagrid walked slowly in the direction of his cabin.

"C'mon," Harry's voice startled her again. "Let's go... What's up?"

"Did you know?" Ron asked. "About Hagrid being half-giant?"

"I didn't," Mel replied.

"No," Harry shrugged. "So what?"

Ron grimaced, he shook his head, pushing them forward. "I'll explain inside, c'mon..."

Mel didn't want to go back inside with them, but the curiosity was killing her and she needed to know, no one talked until they reached a table.

"So? What's the problem with giants?" Harry was the first to ask.

"Well, they're... they're... not very nice."

"Oh, I understand everything now," Mel said sarcastically.

"Who cares? There's nothing wrong with Hagrid!"

"I know there isn't, but... blimey, no wonder he keeps it quiet, I always thought he'd got in the way of a bad Engorgement Charm when he was a kid or something. Didn't like to mention it..."

"But what's it matter if his mother was a giantess?" Harry insisted.

"Well... no one who knows him will care, 'cos they'll know he's not dangerous... But they're just vicious, giants. It's like Hagrid said, it's in their natures, they're like trolls... they just like killing, everyone knows that. There aren't any left in Britain now, though."

"What happened to them?"

"Well, they were dying out anyway, and then loads got themselves killed by Aurors. There're supposed to be giants abroad, though... They hide out in mountains mostly..."

"I don't know who Maxime thinks she's kidding," Harry grumbled. "If Hagrid's half-giant, she definitely is. Big bones... the only thing that's got bigger bones than her is a dinosaur."

"Are we sure is not a misconception like several from around here?" Mel inquired. "Take muggle-borns, for example..."

"Oh no, not at all. Giants are awfully violent and let it very clear during the last war... wonder how Hagrid's dad got one interested..."

"Let's not talk about Hagrid behind his back, all right?" Mel looked around. "More so when there are so many people that could hear."

Five minutes later she was considering to go find the twins and join their table when Harry tried to apologize once more.

"Mel?" He inched just a bit closer. "I'm sorry, I really am– I didn't mean it."

"I know that," She scowled. "You said it anyway, and it hurt."

"That's why I'm sorry," He seemed truly repentant. "I didn't mean to make you cry–"

"I didn't cry."

"I saw your face when we found you," He turned his body, now he was fully facing her. "I felt awful, even before I saw you... I don't want to stop being friends."

"Me neither," She grumbled. "What d'you suggest, then?"

"I want to know if you'll forgive me first," He said with a hint of hope. "Will you?"

Of course she would, she wanted nothing more... She also wanted to yell at him that he had no reason to be so rude. Blimey, why did he have to be so stupid?

"Yes," She glared, "but don't ever talk to me like that again, I'm not the type to take advantage of nice boys and you know it. It's awfully rude, and I have enough of that."

"You won't hear a word of it again."

"Okay... What now?"

Harry smiled shyly. "I can offer you a dance before the ball ends? I know I messed up the last one..."

She could've refused and kept her chin up for the rest of the night, she could've even said she'd rather dance with Goyle than to give him the satisfaction of saying he got to dance a third time with her... but she really wanted to dance with him.

"All right," She stood up and walked without waiting. "Just one. I don't feel like holding hands with you for long periods of time."

"What about short periods of time?" Harry asked, happily following her like a puppy.

"If you find a way to get away with it," She replied with the tiniest smile. "You may certainly try."

By midnight the ball was coming to an end, it wasn't the perfect evening Mel had dreamed of, but it had been nice, even educational. She saw Hermione walked past them without a second glance. Ron had it coming, he and his need to be in a bad mood about everything all the time.

As they started their way upstairs, a voice called Harry. It was Cedric, he rushed over to meet them halfway, leaving Cho Chang at the foot of the stairs.

"Yeah?" Harry asked in confusion.

Cedric looked at Mel and Ron with mistrust, both kids gave him a weird look and kept walking, understanding the message.

"He sure acts like he's worth a lot, the idiot," Ron scoffed.

"Cedric didn't do anything to upset you."

"Cedric?" Ron replied as they got to the second floor. "I wasn't talking about Cedric."

"Then who?"

"Krum! Strutting around the castle, going to the library and talking to Hermione like he has the right to... to interrupt your study sessions."

"Are you jealous?"

He looked scandalized, "Why would I be?"

"I honestly don't know."

The rest of the walk was quiet until they entered the common room, Hermione was waiting for them, arms crossed and a stare that Mel knew all too well.

"Well?" She asked.

"Well, what?"

"Are you going to apologize?"

"Apologize?" Ron gaped. "I did nothing wrong!"

"Yes, you did!" Hermione stepped forward.

"Godric, have mercy..." Mel groaned, walking up to a chair and sitting down heavily.

The Gryffindors that were arriving paid no mind to their argument, most of them were too tired to even notice what was going on.

"I was only telling the truth!" Ron continued loudly. "This has to be another way to get more points on the next task, I don't like it and neither should you!"

"Well, if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?" Hermione was shaking in anger, her hair was slowly falling down from its bun and her face was getting redder.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Ron yelled back.

Harry arrived then, giving her a puzzled look.

"Just let it happen," She mumbled.

"Next time there's a ball," Hermione continued, "ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!" The girl walked out of the place and straight to the dormitories.

"Well," Ron said, blinking a few times in confusion, "well — that just proves — completely missed the point —"

Mel stood up.

"Get over it," She patted his back and went upstairs.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world

#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #WITT fic

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toorusquill · 4 years

Text

i said i’d write kagevera hcs so here they are 😼 (sending this in again bc i have it somewhere in my notes n while i was going through it i spotted some mistakes so 😔) and this is the list from your post:

✓ your fellow slytherin friend had a mad crush on kuroo (but like who doesn’t tbh) so ofc they dragged u to watch the quidditch team practice solely for this babe when they figured out what time everything was scheduled

✓ and you had your eyes on a specific chaser 👀 (since i headcanon goshiki baby as the seeker) bc ngl he was pretty cute plus you see him around the common room a lot bc y’all are in the same house or just stuffing alarming amounts of food into his mouth @ breakfast

✓ the team was too focused on playing so none of them really noticed you were there for a while but when goshiki was flying around the field trying to catch the snitch again he stopped by when he recognized you two for obvious reasons

✓ he talked to the both of you about the game and just made small talk until kuroo called him out for getting off track, and thats when kags realized y'all were there

✓ he stared at u for a while even after goshiki left bc LETS BE HONEST YOU’RE STUNNING, and when you caught him, he just flashed u an awkward smile bc he didn’t know what else to do 😔🤚

✓ and lets say kags asked goshiki abt you after practice ended out of curiosity and goshiki went to tendou and teru bc he didn’t know much abt you other than your house and name AND WHEN I TELL U TERUSHIMA LITERALLY PULLED OUT A LIST OF ALL THE CLASSES YOU WERE IN AND WHAT TIME EVERYTHING STARTED I-

✓ daishou was just like what the fuck

✓ instead, daishou – the only one with a girl so he already knows LMAO – begrudgingly suggested that kags should ask u for help with his potions class if he wanted to get to know you better (ALL THE POTIONS HOMIE MADE EXPLODED AND SNAPE WENT APESHIT UHH) since he needed MAJOR help with that subject anyways so he did

✓ AHEM MATCHMAKER DAISHOU PLS THANK HIM

✓ and ngl kags n daishou were on good terms, daishou also wanted to piss off oikawa so like

✓ anyways you accepted bc you had extra time on your hands and didn’t mind BUT THE AMOUNT OF EFFORT YOU NEEDED TO PUT INTO TEACHING KAGS SHIT- ITS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS PLEASE YOU’RE ABOUT TO GROW GREY HAIRS

✓ you still continued to teach him though, starting to meet up with each other in the slytherin common room from time to time to review the textbooks so that’s how you and kags started talking

✓ kags starts waving at you when he sees you in the hallways n the corners of his mouth quirks up into a half-smile whenever you wave back :((

✓ anyways once y'all got closer through THE STRUGGLE OF HELPING KAGS WITH HIS CLASSES EVERY WEEKEND BC YOU WERE “HIS ONLY HOPE FOR PASSING,” you two would start eating breakfast together everyday (u also yell at him whenever he eats too quickly bc we already saw what happened at training camp smh), showing up to his practices and games and he shows up to yours if you play, etc

✓ one time at practice you were vibing and i hc oikawa and daishou as beaters so they were hitting the bludger at each other bc they HATE one another with a burning passion and they unintentionally hit it towards you bc while they tried to keep it from crashing into the stands y’all i-

✓ luckily for you tobio swooped in and saved you bc he was already kind of staring at you before this even happened 😔🤚 (while daishou and oikawa were trying to put the blame on each other i-)

✓ and eventually, kags even opens up to you abt his past one night while y'all are just gazing at the stars in comfortable silence which took you by surprise but you gave him words of encouragement, praise, and reassurance nonetheless AND HOMEBOY LITERALLY DIED YOU WERE DEADASS SO SWEET AND PATIENT W HIM ?? hes never really recieved anything like that before so he doesn’t even know how to react

✓ THATS WHEN HE STARTS FALLING FOR U HJDKJSHAJK

✓ he was becoming more shy around you, honestly blushing AT EVERYTHING YOU DO HE THINKS YOU’RE SO PRETTY

✓ shirabu was visibly cringing at all of this sis he dipped he couldn’t stand seeing how awkward y’all were around each other 😔

✓ kuroo finds out hella fucking fast and LITERALLY WONT STOP GRINNING WHEN YOU’RE AROUND LIKE SIR

✓ TERU AND FUTAKUCHI KEEP “ACCIDENTALLY” BUMPING INTO KAGS IN HOPES THAT HE FALLS ONTO YOU LIKE THOSE CLICHE WATTPAD STORIES HJDSALJF

✓ they’re never succcessful tho, kags literally broke a vase once and it gave everyone a heart attack bc mcgonagall was gonna kick their asses when she finds out😔🤚 they tried to gorilla glue the pieces back together i’m-

✓ meanwhile sakusa isn’t even there he’s too busy being a germaphobe

✓ and atsumu won’t stfu abt it kuroo always needs to slap a hand over his mouth whenever you’re around bc u bet he’s taking this opportunity to tell u that tobio likes u smh

✓ anyways fastforward a few months, daishou ended up talking kags into asking u to the yule ball w the help of tendou (bc oikawa refused to be there LMFAO)

✓ daishou even got mika in on it and she bought kags a bouquet of roses to ask u out with and HE WAS GONNA CHICKEN OUT LAST MINUTE BUT TERU AND FUTAKUCHI PUSHED HIM ALL THE WAY TO THE QUIDDITCH FIELD WHERE KUROO HELPED HIM ASK YOU TO SHOW UP AT

✓ when you saw kags with the flowers you were like “I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE, TURN IT UP” bc shit you liked him too but homie is impossible to teach and a literal mess of a human being 😔

✓ manz took a sec to form proper sentences bc he was stuttering sm ??

✓ when kags finally asked u out, THE RELIEF THAT WASHED OVER HIM WHEN YOU DIDNT TURN HIM DOWN LMFAO HE WAS WORRIED

✓ HE WOULDN’T EVEN LOOK AT YOU HOMIE TRIED TO HIDE THE PINK THAT DUSTED HIS CHEEKS WITH THE ROSES HE HELD

✓ fastforward again LMFAO, when i tell u that u almost stumbled backwards and crashed into the tables of food when u saw your manz at the ball bc KAGS IN A TUXEDO UM YES PLEASE

✓ anyways i’ll leave what happens at the ball up to your imagination but allow me to mention how both your feet hurt like a bitch afterwards bc you kept stepping on each other while dancing 😔🖐️

—

ALICE LSDJFAL SORRY I POSTED THIS SO LATE BUT FCKKKK u really made my heart go !!! with these headcanons 🥺 these ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE. i love how you were able to draw interactions with all the boys why haven’t you started a writing blog yet i

goshiki and kags would be good friends ngl and kageyama in a suit at the yule ball…i am LOOKING <3

this was so good. alice i love u and u have stolen my heart once again. u are beAUTIFUL if akaashi doesn’t take you out for stargazing imma have to do it myself

#alice <3 #vera is 💞#my bb loves <3 #djflasj this was so sweet pls i love them >:(#vera talks #kagevera #submission

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stillwithkoo · 5 years

Text

Mindflayed | JJK pt.1

A JK halloween fic/Stranger Things AU

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: horror, smut, e2l, f2l, angst, cnc, breeding kink, daddy kink, choking kink.

Summary: Strange things happen after a one night stand with your friend, Jeon Jungkook. But you didn’t realize it’s only the beginning, and Jungkook is not who he seems.

A/N: this is a short series lol bec im 2 lazy to write a long fic. I still hope you hoez enjoy tho! 🥴🥵 my halloween gift for y'all 💜

You recently moved to Hawkins, Indiana after staying 21 years at your family’s place or more like hellhole. In this town, you met a guy named Jungkook and his crackheady lookin gang. (his friends) they didn’t really do crack though, they were just dorks.

You became friends with them, and they made adjusting to the new town a whole lot better. You didn’t think strange things would happen in this town, as cliché as it seems- nothing ever happens here, they say. One night, seemed to change that though. You were currently on the couch, trying to doze off while watching TV with Jungkook. He was probs already asleep you thought, well that was until he inched a bit closer to you.

You paid no mind to it, since he was probably just sleepy and it probably didn’t mean anything. Well, now his head was on your shoulder. Okay? maybe he likes to cuddle? you didn’t feel uncomfortable really, because he was your friend and he was cute too. You just hoped he couldn’t hear how fast your heart was beating at his very close proximity.

Then it happened, you weren’t sure when but he was breathing on your neck. Was he awake? he was kissing your sensitive spot, like he knew it. he was peppering small but sensual kisses to your neck. You were still immobile, because of the emotions you were feeling at his sudden actions.

He was awake now, you were quite sure. He looked at you and you couldn’t really decipher what his eyes were trying to tell. They were dark and clouded. Was it with lust? or was it with hate? you weren’t sure. You didn’t really think he’d have feelings for you, and he didn’t show signs of being interested with you at first, so you aren’t sure what to do now. You didn’t have time to decide though, because he already did it for you by attaching his lips on yours. He was kissing you kinda rough but in a good way. You kissed him back soon enough, you just blamed it on your raging hormones. Maybe you were ovulating and getting your period soon. After the passionate kiss, you think he stopped just to tell you,

“I want you."

He said, voice a bit hoarse from kissing. "Do you want me too y/n?” His question caught you a bit off guard. “Jungkook… I…” you actually didn’t know what to say. All you knew was that you felt good, but could you really do more than hook up with him? won’t it ruin your friendship that was just beginning to bloom?

“Answer me, baby. Do you want me too or not?” His tone demanding. He looked so hot with his long black curly hair and annoyed facial expression that you couldn’t say no. “Yes, I want you Jungkook.” you said voice barely a whisper, you were still too shy to admit it.

But then, he curled his fingers around your neck almost choking you but not quite, and then said, “I can’t hear you babe, I need you to say it properly and louder so I can hear.” He then removed the fingers wrapped around your neck. “I want you, Jungkook. I really do.” You said voice much louder this time. “That’s my good girl. It’s good that you want me, cos I want to breed you. Can I breed you kitten?”

He said, catching you off guard again with his dirty talk. Well, if that was his kink too, then who were you to disagree with him? you were on the pill anyway. “I’d love for you to Jungkook…” You replied.

“Call me daddy, kitten. Say it again.” he demanded.

“I’d love for you to breed me, daddy.” He then smirked, seemingly pleased with what you said. “Part your legs then baby, let me take care of you first.” he said, and you did as you were told. You parted your legs and he peppered soft kisses on your thighs. Then he started getting a little rough and leaving bites as he goes near to where you want him the most.

To your surprise, he fingered you first. Inserting one, and then two fingers inside your tight hole. Making digit eights on your clit, and soon enough you were shaking and cumming just from his fingers. He licked them, and watched your post orgasm face. He couldn’t deny he enjoyed seeing you like this. You’d make a perfect vessel for his offspring to be in. So if in case he dies, there will still be a mindflayer in this realm. A new one. Of course he had to use this mortal’s body to get what he wants, but he knows it’ll be worth it anyway when his plan succeeds.

He doesn’t waste time and eats you out before you can even recover. Using his tongue like he was made to do this. To do you. Licking and sucking on your sore clit like he was paid to. Leading you to your 2nd orgasm. “Are you ready to take my cock now baby? can you still take another mind blowing orgasm?”

Jungkook asked you, while you were still coming down from your high. “I dunno kook… I meant daddy- I’m pretty spent, but I’ll try.” you tiredly replied. “I’m sure you can handle one more baby, you’re a tough girl. And you’re my tough girl.” he said seductively, giving you hope that you can still take one last orgasm at least. He then picked you up bridal style and went to his room. And after laying u on his bed, without warning, he slipped his big fat cock inside you stretching your walls in a good way. In a satisfying kinda way. He was pounding into you with so much force you don’t even know where he got his strength from.

And after a while- you came the hardest you could. And he does too, inside you. Creaming your pussy with his dark-ish cum? or were your mind just playing tricks with you? maybe you were just really exhausted, you did orgasm 3 times now.

You were so sensitive and sore, but Jungkook wanted to go at it again. You can’t believe his stamina. He wanted to fuck you doggystyle and so he did. He loved the feeling of reaching inside you even deeper, and cumming inside you even more. After you got your 4th orgasm of the night, you just wanted to sleep, too tired to get out of jungkook’s bed and take a shower. Jungkook decided he wanted to make small talk anyway.

“Y/N, you’re still awake right?” he asked.

“Yea, guess I am since you’re keeping me awake.” You teased. “Sorry…I just wanted to ask about what happened with us tonight…You’ll keep our offspring right?” He said, voice seeming much deeper than his usual one. It was kinda creepy, his voice and his question.

What did he mean by keeping your offspring? “Offspring? I don’t understand what you mean Jungkook, I’m on the pill.” You retorted. “You mean you’re using protection? you can’t get pregnant?” he asked, voice seeming a little mad to be not. You nodded, obviously to say yes. Albeit, quite frustrated with his reaction.

Well shit, he can’t get you pregnant if you’re preventing yourself from the actuality of it. He was mad and pissed. You were a useless bitch then. He was gonna kill you. And so he did, by bashing your head against the wall repeatedly. But, of course, only in his mind. He couldn’t kill you yet, or another useless mortal. It would arouse suspicion, and he was trying to avoid that for now. Because he still needs to accomplish his plan, and he doesn’t want any distractions. The friends of this mortal’s body he’s inhibiting- mustn’t find out.

Hopefully, they’re too stupid just like this mortal Jungkook, If he hadn’t followed the rats, then he wouldn’t have found him. His curiosity for the unknown had killed him. Though, the shadow monster still would’ve chosen and possessed another host, to help in making his plans come to life. And if the real Jungkook was here, well, he probably won’t be doing this with you. It’s pityfully pathetic how hard he’s trying to take control back of his own body, he’s also really quite idiotic, he should know that his attempts are futile.

But, the mindflayer took pity on him for a bit, to see what he would do. If he could warn her somehow, of what’s going on inside of him and what’s gonna happen to this town. So, he let him take control just for a little while, and warned him to hurry up before he ran out of time.

🍁🎃🍁🎃🍁🎃🍁🎃🍁🎃🍁🎃🍁🎃🍁🎃

Jungkook sucks in a breath, shock flooding through him now that he’s finally back in his own body and consciousness. Though he knows this wouldn’t last long, and he’ll corrupt him again. He has to warn you, all of you. And you all need to stay away from him. “Y/N, wake up! wake up! You need to get the fuck out.” He yells to you and woke you up with a start. “Jungkook, what the fuck? it’s still 3am can’t you at least let me stay til the morning?” You were embarrassed and appalled at his rude behavior.

You just fell asleep, and here he was wanting you to get out of bed and his house, away from him. Wow, he was totes such a gentleman. Men really only want you as their sextoy. “I can’t explain right now, but I don’t want to hurt you anymore than i already did. So please listen to me and just go.” He said with his voice tired.

Was he tired from awhile ago? or was he sick? You looked at him closely, and realized there were dark bags around his eyes, and he looked more exhausted than he did last night. “Jungkook, what do you mean? you didn’t hurt me. I enjoyed it, I mean- I wanted it too. Did you regret what we did last night?” You said frustrated and meekly. “I did. It was a mistake, and now I want you to go.” he said so coldly, and he looked like he meant it.

I wanted it too. But at the right time, and I wanted it to be me, the real me to do it with you. Jungkook said in his mind, the words he couldn’t say right now to you. He grabbed your arm and made you wear a big and long sweater, then gave you some pants but he was already ushering you to go outside before you could even put them on. You couldn’t believe he could be so cruel. His front door was now open, and he was just waiting for you to finally get out and leave him. But you didn’t leave without telling him, “You’re such a cock you know that? don’t worry I’ll never talk to you again.”

And that was the last words you ever spoke to him. Jungkook was hurt. Physically, mentally and emotionally. He was also drained because of everything. Maybe he had himself to blame, maybe if he didn’t let his curiosity get the best out of him and followed the goddamn rats, this wouldn’t have happened. But, he also knows that the mind flayer would’ve just chose another host. It wouldn’t stop at anything. But what it didn’t know or might have underestimated is that, Jungkook wouldn’t stop at anything too. He just needs to get it back. His supernatural abilities, he lost it because of a tragic incident before. But he knows it will come back. And when it does, (hopefully it will, before the mindflayer kills everyone and he’s too late-) He’s gonna save everyone: You, his friends, his town, and himself. And that dickhead mindflayer will be eradicated forever.

Part 2 coming soon. ty for reading! pls reblog and comment if you liked it, positive comments and feedback are highly appreciated 😊 Reblog and tell me if you want to be added on the next taglist! 💜

A/N; also, my mindflayer in this fic is kinda ¼ human or at least it was human before shsh. and it’s a very horny mindflayer 🤣 it wanted to breed y/n to create a demon heir/child so if inc it dies, there would be a new evil monster to create havoc in the town. fortunately y/n was on b/c so thank the gods for that. 😂

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kor-ra · 4 years

Note

Fun challenge for you based on your recent tags: Explain to me, someone who has never watched a single episode of the 100, why you ship Bellarke? I am curious, and I'm hoping this is entertaining for you to do lol

Oh gosh ok you asked for it, the flood gates have been opened. Sorry this took so long to answer but I wanted to explain it in the best way I could (or at least try to). I’m going to do a short version and a long version so people don’t have to read my entire explanation lol. Also I’m only going over the plot as it relates to their story, so there will probably be some holes.

Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake are soulmates, plain and simple as that. The growth that they have had since the first season till now has been a long and winding road. They were enemies then became co leaders then best friends and now are (hopefully) on track to admitting that they love each other. The amount of parallels the show draws between them is insane and they both have such a profound understanding of each other due to their shared leadership role and constantly being the person that the other one goes to when they need someone to comfort them. Time and time again they choose each other, even during some of the most difficult decisions they will ever have to make. Their growth almost always comes back to how they influence each other to try and be better people. Canonically, they make better decisions when they are together: The Head and the Heart. They cannot exist as their full selves without each other in their lives because their lives have become so intertwined with each other that they are fundamentally different people when they’re apart. No matter how often they’re apart, they always find a way back to each other. And if nothing else, the gazes and longing hugs that they give each other just oozes love and understanding.

Ok that was the short version. Here’s the Long Version🤪

Ok so Bellamy and Clarke definitely did not start off this way. From the very first episode they are at each other’s throats. Clarke is trying to be the practical leader to get these kids to survive while Bellamy is the dynamic leader inspiring these kids to “do whatever the hell they want”. They don’t see eye to eye and Bellamy even says he’s willing to cut off Clarke’s hand to get what he wants. This doesn’t change until 1x03 when Bellamy sees Clarke mercy kill Atom, another kid on Earth.

This girl, who he thought was a pampered princess, was able to make this tough decision while he couldn’t. After that they begrudgingly try and coexist together. Then “Day Trip” happens and Bellamy and Clarke go off on their own and almost die by a rogue delinquent. They kill him and while they’re recuperating Bellamy wants to run away from all the hardships and mistakes that he’s made. Instead of holding it against him, Clarke gives him forgiveness (“if you want forgiveness, I’ll give it to you ok, fine you’re forgiven”)

For the first time they are truly vulnerable with each other and make their first decision to lead together. This is the turning point. From then on they co lead together, sharing the burden and responsibilities of leadership and being the person that the other depends on. They don’t always get along but they learn to rely on each other. The season ends with them separated at the end of their first big battle. Clarke closes the drop ship door to save her people from the enemy and she thinks he didn’t survive the blast outside

Bellamy and Clarke are separated (a common occurrence that you will soon find out) Clarke is trapped in Mt. Weather and although the rest of her people are comfortable there, she is determined to get out and find out if the rest of her people -cough cough Bellamy- are alive. Bellamy likewise also starts to look for Clarke. Angst and drama ensues, but the important part is that we get our first ever Bellarke hug and man is it a good one (and an absolute fan favorite)

Like Bellamy is so stunned by the way she RUNS and wraps her arms around him and slowly after the shock hugs her back. But this hug cements just how important they’ve become to each other. From here on out they protect each other. Bellamy saves Clarke from being poisoned, he volunteers to go into Mount Weather and Clarke (originally) violently opposes it saying that “She can’t lose him to” in reference to losing the boy she loved, among other things (imo this is when Bellamy starts to develop real feelings for Clarke). Finally towards the end of the season when they face off against the “big baddie” they have to make the choice to kill hundreds of innocent people among the guilty to save their own people. An impossible choice, and Clarke being the self sacrificial puppy that she is wants to “bear it so they don’t have to”. But Bellamy won’t let her do that, they’re going to share that heavy burden. And they pull the lever together

So they return home, people rescued and the guilt hanging high above their heads. But for Clarke the guilt is too much to bear and she tells Bellamy that she has to leave. And Bellamy BEGS her to stay, even repeating that same line that she said to him in the beginning of the show. However, she leaves him and her people behind, which would lead them both down a path of hurt.

And hurt they do. Clarke leaving didn’t fill the hole of guilt in her heart, and Bellamy was left to (try lol) and heal his broken heart on his own. I will also say that both Clarke/Bellamy get their own significant other with Lexa/Gina respectively and this is because (imo) they both go down paths where the other is not in the picture I’m so certain that if they stayed togehter, they would’ve been together and that’s why they’re always separated. But then for the first time in the 3 months since she left, Bellamy finds Clarke, while she’s being taken captive and literally DROPS EVERYTHING to rescue her. When he finds her it is the most tender thing.

This is soon interrupted when Roan (her captor) comes back and Clarke BEGS him to save his life, saying “I’ll do anything. I’ll stop fighting just please don’t hurt him.” Bellamy gets stabbed in the leg and and Clarke and Roan get away. Unlike a normal person, Bellamy Blake is hopelessly in love and devoted to Clarke so he STILL TRIED TO GO AFTER HER WITH A HOLE IN HIS LEG AND WE GET THIS BEAUTIFUL SCENE RIGHT HERE

Cut back a little while later Clarke is safe in Polis with Lexa, trying to unify their two clans and Bellamy finds her again. He tells her to come back to Arkadia (their home) but she says she needs to be here (in Polis). This breaks his heart and is what sets him literally down a VERY DARK PATH of murder to try and justify a war (complicated stuff, what matter is he fucks up). Clarke eventually does come back to Arkadia only to find a very angry and heartbroken Bellamy who tries to justify his actions (You Left Me). They have a very Bellarke™ talk full of emotion and love.

And just when you think everything is going to be alright, he handcuffs her to a chair lol. And they spend a good chunk of the season apart.

When the going gets tough however, they know that they need each other. And after episodes of not speaking to each other they have another one of their Bellarke™ talks and hugs where Bellamy says “I was so mad at you for leaving. I don’t want to feel that way anymore” And then they hug like this, like c’monnnnnnn platonic my ass.

I’m going to speed up for the sake of getting to more stuff. But they end season 3 as they always do, fighting the evil together. Other highlights include Clarke’s (brainwashed) mom using Bellamy as her 1st choice to sacrifice in front of Clarke. There’s also a cute hand holding scene hgngnghngg

For all the angst however, this is the first season when other people call them out on their feelings (mainly Bellamy’s tho) for each other well Octavia already called him out during the first hug but that doesn’t count because She knows him too well. His other friends call him out for not being devoted to his old girlfriend Gina (who died) and Murphy comparing his feeling for Emori (his CANON love interest) to Clarke.

Ok, I know a lot of this post has been focused on Bellamy’s feelings and that’s mostly because Clarke has had a love interest in every season so she hasn’t had time to recognize her own feelings. However during s4, we get to see the extent of just how much Clarke means to Bellamy as well. There are a lot of moments in this season so I’m just going to try and focus on the big ones/my faves.

(This isn’t super important, but in the 1st episode of s4, Clarke is still grieving her gf Lexa who died and IMMEDIATELY AFTER, we get a cut to Bellamy like way to be subtle guys. no platonic explanation for this edit)

Ok basically what you need to know about s4 is that the world is going to end by a nuclear radiation cloud thingy called Praimfaiya and it’s up to Bellarke (along with some other peeps lol) to save everyone from it. So one of the things Clarke has to do is write a list of 100 people to choose for a potential bunker. So of course Clarke puts Bellamy on spot 99 but can’t bring herself to write her own name. So Bellamy who is sleeping on the couch wakes up because his Clarke is sad sirens are going off to tell her to put her name down. (If I’m on that list, you’re on that list) Still she can’t do it sO BELLAMY DOES IT FOR HER (because this boy needs her to be with him). and then he puts his hand on her AND SHE LAYS HER HEAD ON HIS HAND....so tender.

Ok so a few episodes later Bellamy (and Kane) get held hostage and Clarke has to sacrifice part of a large shelter that they need to escape Praimfaiya for them, it’s a tough decision but one that Clarke obviously makes. (Literally the only reason Bellamy was even taken was because Roan knew how much he meant to specifically Clarke). I can’t find a gif, but trust me it’s worrisome

Ok god next episode is when we start getting into that high stakes shit (THAT I LOVE). So basically Clarke and Bellamy are going to be separated AGAIN and right before he leaves Bellamy says this

LIKE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO ARGUE THAT HE WAS NOT ABOUT TO CONFESS HIS LOVE TO HER LIKE CMON PEOPLE LOOK AT EVERY TROPE OF THIS EVER. Clarke of course was like “No, we will see each other again” but uhufhdjejdwkndwk he was going to say “I love you” in my book

Ok now towards the end of the season, most everyone in Skaikru is in this Bunker except for Octavia and most of the grounders (people on earth who survived the original radiation). I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this yet but Octavia is Bellamy’s younger sister and throughout the show he has sacrificed so so much for her and risked a lot of things to keep her safe. So now when Bellamy learns that Octavia is alive and outside the bunker he rushes to open the door for her. But here’s the catch: if they open the hatch, there’s a chance the radiation is bad and everyone in the bunker (THE HUMAN RACE) would die. However, because Bellamy needs to save his sister he’s willing to take that risk. For Clarke, that isn’t though and POINTS A GUN at him. But Bellamy says if she shoots she’s “going to have to make it a kill shot”. AND SHE CAN’T BRING HERSELF TO SHOOT HIM. CLARKE CANNOT KILL BELLAMY EVEN IF IT MEANT SAVING THE HUMAN RACE. Of course it was fine but still man c’mon.

And then later in order to try and lighten the mood, when they’re trying to drive the rover, Bellamy makes Clarke laugh and IS SO DISTRACTED BY HER SMILE HE CRASHES THE CAR. ok moving on

OK HERE IS THE BIG LEAGUE MY FAVORITE BELLARKE SCENE IN THE SERIES. So Bellamy and Clarke have this big heart to heart cause Clarke thinks she’s gonna die and it is the softest scene ever. So Clarke, thinking she’s going to die says “You’ve got such a big heart Bellamy. People follow you, you inspire them because of this (his heart). But the only way we’re gonna make sure we survive is if you use this too (his head aka what Clarke represents in their relationship” AND TO THAT RESPONDS “I got you for that” IN THE MOST TENDER WAY LIKE THEY’RE SO IN LOVE. And also they have one of the best bellarke hugs of the show.

So Bellarke and like 6 of their friends head off to the space station to avoid the death wave. However, the satellite that allows them to get in isn’t working, so Clarke sacrifices her self to go and fix it while the rest of her friends can go to space. Bellamy makes the HEARTWRENCHING DECISION to leave her behind in order to save the rest of his friends from the death wave. So Spacekrew go up to the station to wait 6 years until Earth becomes habitable while Bellamy grieves Clarke’s death.

Except she’s not dead

Clarke has special blood called “nightblood” that made her immune to the radiation. She spends the next six years on the only available plot of green land left with her adoptive daughter Madi (who has nightblood and she found when she survived the radiation.) So for the next 6 years CLARKE CALLS BELLAMY ON THIS RADIO EVERY DAY. This radio doesn’t even work, but Clarke calls him anyways to keep her sane and (imo) this is when I truly think Clarke realizes the depth of her feelings for Bellamy, because I for sure wouldn’t call my platonic buddy EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for 6 years (THATS 2199 DAYS) like c’mon

Ok so 6 years have passed, and Clarke is waiting for Bellamy + Co (Spacekru) to come back to Earth. But before Spacekru comes back, another ship lands on Earth full of escaped prisoners who have been cryogenically frozen for the past like 150 years. So basically they come to Earth, capture Clarke and hold her hostage, while Madi (her adoptive daughter) escapes.

Literally a little while later Spacekru finds their way back to Earth and stumble upon Madi who tells them Clarke is alive, much to all of their shock but ESPECIALLY Bellamy (cause ya know the love of his life is back from the dead). So he goes to find and rescue her his wife from the prisoners. When he finds her they threaten to shoot him on sight, but he has leverage. He can send a signal back to the spaceship so, he trades 283 lives in order to save Clarke because of course he does.

Bellamy and Clarke finally have their moment to reunite 6 years in the making and it’s as soft and sweet as you could ever expect it to be and they have another one of their classic Bellarke™ hugs.

Ok so happy ending now for them right? They’re finally back together !!! Well NOPE because after Bellamy was done grieving Clarke he got himself a girlfriend :))))))) named Echo (context Echo was an assassin/spy the “bad guys” until end of s4, then she went up to space w/ them) but Bellamys whole schtick is forgiveness, which he learnt from Clarke COUGH COUGH . Anyways when Clarke sees them making out for the first time she is let’s just say ~taken aback~

and the second time she sees them she looks straight up heartbroken !!!

Now that Clarke has finally realized her feelings for Bellamy he’s with another girl :///// But Clarke still holds a very dear position in Bellamy’s heart and we see that when he confronts his sister. Remember Octavia? The sister who he would do anything for??? Well now she’s kinda lost her marbles and became an evil dictator when she was leading everyone in the bunker. So now due to ~plot~ Octavia wants Clarke dead. Bellamy CANNOT have this happen. I mean he just got her back !!! And he pleads for Octavia to save her life and Octavia says this

HIS SISTER WHO KNOWS HIM BEST (well besides Clarke lmao) CALLED HIM OUT ON HIS FEELINGS. And the best part is that Bellamy doesn’t even try to deny it. Then he says “I can’t let you kill Clarke , O” AND PROCEEDS TO POISON HIS SISTER. THE ONE WHO HE HAS RISKED HIS LIFE FOR LIKE FOREVER (she doesn’t die tho) Bellamy choses Clarke over her without hesitation, and that has come a long way my friends.

Ok while, we’re riding this high it gets kinda worse. So, remember Clarke’s adoptive daughter Madi? Well now Spacekrew wants to put this thing called the flame (ok sorry I glossed over it before but it’s really important to the show, I just hate it !) which all previous leaders of the grounder people had, in Madi’s head because she’s the ~destined~ leader (it’s confusing I know just roll with it). Clarke is like fuck no because she also hates the flame (queen) and doesn’t want Madi to become a leader and carry that burden. So Bellamy locks Clarke up to get to Madi, but then Clarke grabs Madi and leaves Bellamy to die in Octavia’s apocalyptic fighting pit to fend for his life.

Not looking great right? Bear with me for a moment lol. So flash forward to the end of the season and one of the prisoner dudes accidentally sets off a bomb that’s going to destroy the one green valley that was left. Bellamy is pissed at Clarke for leaving him to die, but Clarke was only trying to save Madi but doesn’t know how to fix this. Then Madi (our mini bellarke shipper) tells Bellamy how important she is to him. Like this girl probably watched her make these calls every morning, SHE KNOWS

And just like that Bellamy cannot be mad at Clarke anymore, because he realizes the bond and isolation and dare I say LOVE she must have for him to do that. So they all make it back up to space as Earth explodes for the 2nd time (RIP). So remember that prision ship with cryogenic pods? Yea so now basically everyone who is on Earth is going to rest in these pods until Earth heals itself. Except it doesn’t (at least not in the 10 years they had hoped for). So two of Bellarke’s friends and couple named Monty and Harper stay awake and spend their remaining years finding another planet to live on. And when they find one 125 years later guess who they picked to wake up first. You guessed it, the co leaders themselves Bellarke. So they have a tender moment watching the sun rise over this new planet

Ok this is the last season before we’re caught up but my god it’s a big one for Bellarke. Ok so the season starts off on this new planet and everyone is distrustful of Clarke for what she did on Earth to protect her daughter and make ONE personal sacrifice when she sacrifices everything for everyone all the time god Anyways, on this new planet due to this like “red sun” they hallucinate on the surface and Bellamy says to Clarke “I don’t need you anymore Clarke”(remember this it’s important). After the red sun fiasco, the actual residents of the planet show up (they were descended from an earthship that came there like 250~ years ago).

(I can’t believe I almost forgot to put this but Bellamy tells Clarke about the radio calls before they hallucinate and it’s such a whole some scene and helps to bridge the gap between them once more)

So the people show Bellarke + crew their customs which includes a ceremony where they repent and let go of their past mistakes. Clarke uses this to apologize to Bellamy for her actions as she declares to him “Hey, you’re my family too. I lost sight of that. But I promise I will never forget it again” like boyo that scene brings me to tears like fuck !!! and then once again they have a classic Bellarke™ hug and god it’s a GOOD one.

So yay, they’re on good terms !! That means something bad is about to happen again per usual. So it turns out the leaders of this group of people have been alive for 100s of years using these “mind drives” to back their consciousness up and put into new bodies when their current body dies (fun!). And take a guess as to who has the special blood and can be a new host :))))))))))

Clarke gets stolen and *dies* so Josephine can take over her body. While Josie!Clarke fools everyone for like an episode, guess who is the first to think ‘hey that’s not really Clarke’ ofc our boy Bellamy. AND THEN THEY GIVE BELLAMY AN ENTIRE EPISODE TO GRIEVE CLARKE LIKE HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO LOOKS THIS SAD THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE. way to be subtle JR

But then guess what !!! Clarke isn’t dead. She’s trapped in her own mind, but very alive. And you’ll never guess how Bellamy finds out. Josie!Clarke taps her fingers on her legs and Bellamy interprets it as morse code that translate into “ALIVE”. LIKE IMAGINE TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO SOMEONE THAT YOUR SUPPOSED DEAD WIFE BESTIE IS STILL ALIVE CAUSE SHE SENT YOU MORSE CODE, LIKE MY BOY I KNOW YOU LOVE HER BUT THAT’S QUITE A STRETCH.

Anyways, this sends Bellamy into overdrive mode, because goddamn it he is not losing her a 3rd time. Throughout the next episodes we see Bellamy prioritize Clarke over everyone, including his girlfriend Echo when she is in danger. He risks himself and even the lives of others to try and save Clarke to get Josie out of her head. And it all culminates to this masterpiece of a Bellarke scene.

Clarke’s heart stops and she won’t get up and Bellamy arguably becomes the most desperate he has ever been. He whispers, “the head and the heart” before LITERALLY BECOMING HER HEART AND PERFORMING CPR ON HER AND BANGING ON HER CHEST TO GET HER TO WAKE UP (HOW MUCH FURTHER CAN THEY TAKE THIS METAPHOR). Even when Octavia gives up, Bellamy yells at her that she’s not dead. “I need you” the first time he has openly admitted that he PERSONALLY needs her in his life. “You’re a fighter Clarke now get up and fight”. Clarke literally (in her mindspace) finds the will to get up and fight by hearing Bellamy’s voice. And like a miracle she wakes up and AN ICONIC AND BEAUTIFUL Bellarke™ hug occurs, even though it looked like she was literally about to kiss him !!!!!! Like tell me these aren’t heart eyes ?!!??!

So then for the rest of the few episodes Bellamy is still super protective of Clarke but they have to split up again because ~plot~. BUT WE HAVE ONE MORE GREAT HURT/COMFORT BELLARKE MOMENT IN THE FINALE. Clarke’s mother had just died, and who does she seek in a crowd for comfort: Bellamy...hopefully you know this by now. God they give each other such meaningful looks in this last scene and have another once again iconic Bellarke™ hug, but it’s a hug where they run into each other like from s2 !!!!! parallels

So they end s6 closer than ever and now we’re all caught up in the present to s7 and lemme be honest besides 7x11, it’s been a HORRIBLE bellarke season, but last episode has had things shake up finally god. So basically everyone assumed Bellamy was dead (including Clarke!!!), but *surprise surprise* he’s alive, but as they soon find out he’s been brainwashed by an evil cult. NOW IT’S CLARKE’S TURN TO SAVE HIM BY BEING HIS HEAD LIKE HE WAS HER HEART LAST SEASON (or I at least hope so). As of writing this post, Bellarke isn’t canon but I’ve been watching this show for 5 years and these two have such a hold on my heart it’s embarrassing, but I hope this explained to you why I and many others will be ridiculously obsessed when it comes to them hehe. Pray for us to be canon, we only have 5 eps left for this beautiful story to come to a conclusion.

#the 100 #bellarke #bellamy blacke #clarke griffin #bellamy x clarke #answered #seriously tho thank you for indulging me #I had a lot of fun #sapphosapprentice

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rainyjellyfishmagazine · 4 years

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My Mom Died

When i was young, or at least younger than i am now, i used to read stories of people that had lost one or both of their parents, and i always wondered how world was like for them. What do they think when someone mentions something like; "Wow, i spent a fantastic weekend with my parents" or "I went shopping with my mom and look what i got" or "My dad taught me how to drive", or even how they react to relatable memes, when they are not so relatable to them.

Unlike the majority of people who wonder these things, i actually got to experience it. But for me it isn't a story of loosing a best friend, a guardian, a role model, it's about freedom. Free from a dictator, free from the paranoia and the anxiety.

My mom wasn't born an abuser, and she definitely didn't switch into one when she had me. We as a society view abusive and toxic people as if their bad qualities are innate, when oftentimes that's far from the truth. My mom was an amazing woman and i will be the first to admit it. After all, she taught me many things, by being an example of what to avoid becoming, i learned so much. She was independent when she was young, she left her home country to seek higher education in another nation, the USSR. A country of which she didn't know the language, didn't share the same political views and definitely didn't like the weather. But she did it anyway, and when she was done, she searched for a job even further; Finland, Australia, Italy to name a few.

She then decided to get married and have a baby, me. When i was born she fell in love with me. She loved me, she really did. In fact, she loved me too much, that's what made her toxic. She decided to leave her job to raise me, to leave her friends to spend more time with me, she essentially self mutilated her mental sanity because that's what she taught was best for us. But the truth is you cannot be happy talking to small kid all day, every day for years and still be healthy. That was her biggest mistake and My biggest lesson.

I have a lot of memories of her when i was really small; we used to sit together on the couch and watch tv, we would eat chocolate together while doing it, or sometimes ice cream. She taught me how to draw, i distinctly remember us being in the kitchen cooking pasta and her teaching me how to draw hearts with faces, she even got me an easel to paint. We also used to bake cakes together or when i was really young, we used to play with my barbies on the living room floor. These are the happiest memories i have and sadly enough, i think i count them on the fingers of one hand. Even these, that in my heart are filled with nostalgia, the more i delve into them, the more i find issues. She was so indifferent and bored when we played with the barbies, she was annoyed while we were cooking and drawing heart-faced people, she didn't really let me eat much of her ice cream or chocolate because they were hers.

But those were the years that i still loved her. She was my hero, my everything, i loved her so much. And she used it against me, to punish me. She would yell at me for everything and anything, by no means was i a saint but i was a very easy child growing up. Anyway, when i would apparently do something wrong her number one tactic was to insult herself, if for example i hadn't done my homework on time she would go on and on on how she was a terrible mother and she has done an awful job at raising me, that alone would kill me. I was crying and apologizing for making her so sad, i would promise her that i would change to not make her feel that way. One other time we were supposed to go to a festival but i decided to draw with my markers and a got a little color on my hands. When she saw this she was furious that i ruined the day and we didn't go to the festival. For so many years she made me feel that i was causing her so much pain, so much sadness and i would hope to disappear. I have cried my self to sleep countless of nights hoping that i wouldn't bring her so much sadness, that i would disappear and in my place she could have i kid that made her happy...

Silent treatment was usual, she would just ignore me for days, she would withhold love from me, she wouldn't hug me or kiss me or talk to me, she would refuse to wake me up in the morning, or tuck me to sleep or take care of me. She would even lock me outside and not let me in... I was maybe 7 at the time, and i felt abandoned and helpless. And the worst thing of all, i felt guilty for causing her so much distress. I had to walk on eggshells to make her happy, but whatever i tried it wasn't enough, i was never enough. She was a bomb ready to explode.

This wasn't her only tactic though, she threatened me as often as she could, that she would hit me so much i would have bruises everywhere. Because according to her that's the only way i would learn, and that she has tried everything, to explain to me what i had done wrong and apparently this was the only way I would learn. She used to slap me in the face here and there, but nothing major to consider it physical abuse. She would threaten to lock me in the basement, which she often did. She would threaten throw away my toys, that i was very protective of. She would basically threaten to take away everything that i had interest in, it used to be toys, then tv, then my smartphone and wifi... This caused me so much anxiety over the years that when i was in kindergarten, i used to hoard all the dolls.

As the years went by she searched for every little thing that she could punish me for. Our house had rules, one of them was that everything and i mean EVERYTHING had to be in order. To give you a perfect example, she once forbade me to play with my toys and tablet and watch tv for a week because one of my shoes wasn't in a 90 degree angle to the wall and was 80 instead. Another time, i wasn't allowed to watch tv for a week because, i would come from school 10 minutes before her (she was a teacher) and while i was waiting for her i would turn the tv on. Apparently i was obsessed with tv and i needed to be punished for it. My "obsession" also resulted in another punishment i remember. Every night we would watch a series on the tv together and then go to sleep. Many of the episodes were on repeat so i liked to read the episode's description to determine if i should watch it or not. This called for extreme measures and she changed the wifi passwords and didn't give them to me for 1 month. Once when she told me to call her on 6.30 and i called her on 6.37, she came to pick me up from my friends' house and didn't let me go out for 3 weeks. But to conclude, she searched for every little thing to punish me for. She would literally ask me a mind puzzle but if i answered wrong she would take something i loved away. She used to say to my French teacher "I'll catch her, i'll catch her doing something wrong, and then she'll see". She was this desperate to punish me.

When i was a kid i really loved her and hated my self for hurting her, but as i got older i realized that maybe it wasn't my fault. Maybe i wasn't the culprit. Maybe it wasn't me after all. But she would continue to scream and yell, bang the doors and the cupboards in rage and call me and herself names. Maybe i was right, maybe it wasn't my fault that we used to fight, only she would fight as it wasn't my place to "talk back", TWICE a week minimum. Maybe it wasn't my fault that she always spoke of the negatives anyone had, i don't know one person that she hadn't insulted behind their back. I was right, i knew i was right when she complimented me for not fighting for a week or when in a fit if rage she told me that sometimes she wished that she hadn't had me. Her words cut deep into my flesh. One moment it would be "Baby you are so beautiful and so smart i love you so much" and the other it would be "You are so useless and stupid, you will never achieve anything in your life you lazy bitch".

I didn't wanna spend time with her anymore, but she demanded to be loved. She demanded me hug her and kiss her and tell her i loved her, when she would ignore me for days. I felt very conflicted to do it, i hated it but i knew that i would face harder consequences if i didn't do it. There are pictures of us hugging each other and the only thing i was thinking at that time was to touch her as little as possible. I still had to hug her and kiss her even when she said vile things to me. To compensate and to keep at least a strip of my sanity i started thinking vile things too. I couldn't handle it any more, i was loosing hair from my anxiety and i wished she was dead. I used to think it was the only way out, it was either her, or me, and i didn't know which i preferred. I used to say it when i was angry and i would take it back almost as soon as i said it, because i loved her. As the years went by, it would take longer for me to take it back, soon the reason for reconsidering changed. I tried to justify her being alive so that we -and i- would have more money, i tried to to weigh the advantages and disadvantages to show myself that i_need_her and i need to be patient one more day/week/year and i would move out. At my lowest point i stopped being remorseful of wishing for her to die. I welcomed it, i was imagining it constantly, how much better my life would be, how much better everyone's lives would be. But these things happen to other people, not me. Or so i thought.

The day came, she was a teacher at the primary school and she was to accompany the eldest kids close to graduation to the closest middle school, where i was at, for them to gage at the school and talk to the teachers. Everyone in our town with little kids knew her. She passed out in the middle school's playground, i didn't see it but everyone else did. The ambulance came and took her, my dad picked me up and drove me home. I thought they would give her some supplements and send her home. But that of course didn't happen. When they told me it was serious i thought that this is what i had been dreaming, even if she didn't die maybe the shock of what had happened would change my life even for a little time. As the days went by and she wasn't getting any better i was apprehensive, this was really it. I would be free.

They unplugged her in a week, they said it was a brain hemorrhage. Everyone knew of her, but no one knew her true colors. I was the talking subject of the year, only to be pitied.

When something like that happens, its like you want to sit down and think, how it affects you, how life will be, but you can't. Everything is moving, people go on with their lives and time passes so slow and yet so fast. For the first time in my life i felt calm and not on the edge, a weight lifted off of my chest. I wasn't on the edge, i didn't feel paranoid, i felt... relaxed. But no one else did, i was blind to the truth, everyone else seemed to love her and mourn her. I realized it that summer when i went on vacation to my aunt's place. She said that my mom was always so calm and composed and never yelled or caused a scene. I knew a bomb ready to go off when everyone else saw a saint. That week i started having nightmares, nightmares i still have today. The kind that leave you terrified to go back to sleep. I saw that she was alive. Only her thought tormented me. But to everyone else i was a sorry little orphan that lost her mommy. I still haven't really told my dad what she put me through when she was alive. In a way i refuse to let her hurt others like the way she hurt me, especially since she's dead.

I no longer remember her voice. I no longer remember her face, or her hair, her glasses. I have to look the photos to remember. But she taught me the real lessons.

Do not nag for no reason.

Do not try to find the negatives in people.

Do not push the people you love away from you.

Do not take everything as personal offense.

Life is short Do Not Waste It

#toxic parents #toxic mother #abuse #emotional abuse #abusive family #abusive parents #abusive mom #death #narcissistic parent #narcissistic mother

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aereres · 4 years

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Favorite Sweater - Ruel

Like every other year during the Christmas season, I found myself in my room, going through my closet to find stuff that I don't wear anymore or that doesn't fit.

It was almost like a tradition, bringing all the clothes that I didn't need anymore to different thrift stores around town and get some money out of it.

I stuffed the pile of sweatpants, hoodies and t-shirts inside a plastic bag, and made my way downstairs.

"Ruel, you're going to sell the clothes?" My mum asked me.

"Yeah, I was leaving now," I said as I bent down and kissed her cheek, before leaving the house.

"Be safe!" Was the last thing I heard from her before I closed the door and made my way to the car.

I divided the clothes in three piles for three different stores, not noticing my favorite Acne sweater in the last pile.

I left the clothes at the shops, took the money without paying attention and made my way back home to spend time with my family.

------

Weeks passed, and I spent so much time trying to find the Acne sweater I lost. I searched in every closet in my house, looked through all the places clothes could be stacked inside my house and even on the tour bus, thinking I might have lost it there while being on tour.

I lost all hopes, so I moved on.

A while later I was walking around town on my own, my usual bucket hat on top of my head as I listened to some music.

It was the day before Christmas Eve and there were stockings everywhere. There were kids running around with candy canes in their hands and parents screaming at them to be careful.

I closed my eyes and sniffled the air around me, the faint faint smell of cinnamon making the whole atmosphere better.

And then I saw her.

She had my sweater. My Acne sweater. There was the red tomato soup stain on the left sleeve that wouldn't go away, and there was the little black spot I unintentionally made with a marker. It was MY sweater.

It was lazily hanging around her shoulders, being too big for her small frame, and it reached the middle of her thigh.

Without even thinking, I made my way towards her and her friend, just wanting to have my sweater back.

"Hey, sorry to be such a bother but that's my sweatshirt," I say as I stopped her, a hand on her shoulder.

"I don't think so, hun. I found this at a thrift store, so basically now this is mine," she said, flashing a sarcastic smile, starting to walk away.

"I can pay you back! How much did they make you pay? 50? 100? 150?" I asked her, running to stay beside her.

"I'm sorry, uhm..."

"Ruel,"

"I'm sorry Ruel, but I've been searching for a nice sweatshirt for so long," she said, a hand resting on my shoulder.

"Please? It was a present from my sisters and it was a mistake. It shouldn't have been in the pile for the thrift store..." I ask one last time.

"Okay, let's make a deal. I'll give you the sweater back if you bring me out on a date at the rides fair this Friday, and make me have a good time," she said, a smile on her lips as she took my phone out of my hands and added her number.

"Nice. I'll see you on Friday. Bye, Ruel," she walked away, leaving me with my mouth wide open.

Well, she's a feisty one.

------

We texted through the week, her name was Y/N. We had very similar personalities, and I found myself slowly falling for her. What was happening to me?

Friday night, I met her in front of the fair. She was wearing the sweater and some leggings under it, a small backpack was hanging on her shoulders.

"So, which ride do you want to go first?" I hesitantly asked her.

"I don't like rides. I like coming here for the atmosphere. You know, I like the chilly air and all the lights coming from the stands, I like the smell of cotton candy and pretzels, I like to see cute couples. I just love it here..." She said softly as we walked through the fair, the dim lights illuminating her pretty face.

"I don't like rides either" I said as I looked in front of me.

"So you basically came here for nothing," she chuckled out.

"Nah, you seem pretty nice and also, I love that sweater" I said, a smirk on my lips.

"Why that?" She asked.

"My sisters bought it for my birthday, and I got really attached to it," I chuckled, realizing how stupid I must have sounded.

"My brother had a hoodie like this, it was the same color and it reminded me of him. He died in a car accident when I was fifteen," she said calmly as she looked in front of us.

"I-I'm really sorry to hear that," I whispered, taking her hand in mine, looking at her in the eyes.

"It's okay, it's been a long time since that. Me and my family all moved over... So, I'm really craving some cotton candy right now," she said, trying to lighten up the mood, as she stopped in front of a cotton candy snack.

"One cotton candy for me," she said to the girl behind the counter.

"I'll get a pretzel" I said.

A couple of minutes later, I paid for our snacks as we kept walking.

"Ruel is such a strange name. I like it tho," she said as she sat down at a bench.

"My dad was born in The Netherlands, it's from there," I said, eating my last bite of pretzel.

"That's cool," she said, looking at the stars.

"Yeah"

After a while, she looked at me again, resting her hand on top of mine.

"I had fun," she said as she started to take the sweatshirt off.

"So, here you go, this is yours," she handed me the light brown sweater, hugging her small frame in her arms because of the chilly air.

"No, you can keep it," I said, making her shocked. "It reminds you of your brother, and if you don't cover up, you're probably gonna die here because of a cold," I said, helping her to put the sweater on again.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, Y/N. It's fine," I told her as we started walking back to the parking lot.

"Thank you so much, I had fun," she said as we reached her small car.

"We should meet up again" I told her as I looked down at her, the moonlight lighting up her face.

"Yeah," she said. "Bye, Ruel," she whispered, standing on her tiptoes and kissing my cheek softly.

"Bye, Y/N," I said when she got inside the car, a small smile on both of our faces.

And that was the start of something new, something sweet, something amazing, something that would forever be in my life.

------

A/N: so guys, special imagine today. At like six this afternoon I received an anon asking me about this lovely type of idea and I decided to write it down after asking for consent.

So, thank you @unmotivated-muggle for making me write this, I had so much fun.

P.s. had to do something with the Acne sweater, so I changed things up a bit...

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jising-jisang-jisung · 5 years

Text

I Believe | Park Jisung

Genre: floof, little smidge of angst

Word count: 2k

A/n: another part of the jb song series that I really liked writing!! I hope yall like it even tho it is a tad rushed and maybe corny 😔✊

Based off this jonas brothers song

You stood outside the door to the dorm of the boy you liked. He had asked you to come over and study with him for your chemistry exam. Finally, you worked up the courage to knock, but as you raised your fist, the door opened revealing a shorter boy with dyed orange hair. He exclaimed in an unhumanly loud voice, "Jisungie! Your girlfriend is here!"

You were quick to correct him, "I'm not actually his girlfriend." Your voice only came out in a whisper as the boy looked you up and down.

"I know that. I just like to tease him. Hi! I'm Chenle!"

"Nice to meet you. I'm y/n." You were able to project your voice this time, just enough to be audible for the orange haired kid.

"Aish, Chenle, quit bothering y/n! We are here to study, not talk to you. And don't you need to get to your class?" Jisung piped up from behind Chenle.

"Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me. See you again, y/n!" And with the last statement, he added a wink.

Jisung welcomed you into his dorm, pulling out his chemistry notes and books. You two studied for a while, laughing at the dumb mistakes you both made in each problem. "Jisung, you're so stupid. Glucose is C6H12O6."

"I know that. I'm just testing you to make sure you know that."

This went on like that for a while, Jisung's face slowly growing more flushed by each passing second. You're not sure when you got into the current situation or how. You're sitting on the couch next to Jisung, watching a drama. He was so focused on the show. You noticed the small pout on his lips and the small freckle just outside of them that enhanced the cuteness tenfold. You didn't realize how long you had been staring at him until he turned to face you. "Y/n, it makes me really nervous when you look at me like that," he admits.

"Oh, uh-" you stuttered, trying to explain yourself, but in the end, all you could squeak out was a small, "sorry."

"How would you feel if a really pretty girl kept looking at you?" He puts his hand to his mouth, mentally cursing himself for calling you pretty.

"Pretty?" You nervous laugh. "Sorry, it's just, I think you're really handsome." You're pretty sure that you just died saying that.

Jisung's face had never been redder in his life. He kept opening his mouth to speak but couldn't get out a sound. How is it that you fell for a boy who is shyer than you? Probably because he is really cute and sweet and one time you heard his laugh in chemistry class and it was the cutest thing you'd ever heard. "I like you!" You burst out, unable to contain your thoughts any longer. Ordinarily you were a very pensive person, carefully calculating everything you say and do. You don't know what compelled you to blurt out this confession in the spur of the moment. Perhaps it was the look on the boy's face sitting next to you.

He took several deep breaths and closed his eyes before turning to you. "I like you too. A lot actually."

"Finally!" You hear a familiar, loud voice announce from behind you.

"Chenle?! How long have you been sitting there?"

"Since you were staring at y/n before she was staring at you. It took you guys a lot longer than I expected to finally confess."

"And that means you owe me 10 bucks," another boy calls out from behind Chenle.

"Are they all here?" Jisung asks timidly.

"Yep!" Yet another boy confirms.

~that was how you scored Jisung as your boyfriend~

By now you've gotten to know almost all of Jisung's friends. They have an interesting relationship because there are several that are just older than him, but then older boys who act as parental figures. So far you've only been introduced to his peers. You don't know if you'll ever understand how it all works. Nevertheless, you befriend some of them as well.

Dolphin Lele: hey y/n! Wanna go get ice cream?

You: ofc! I'm already omw

Often times this makes Jisung a little jealous which is just a plus. He always looks extra adorable when he has his jealous pout.

"Y/nnnnnn," he dragged out your name cutely. "Why do always hang out with Chenle without me?"

"Sorry, Jisungie, we just went to get ice cream. Here!" You pecked him on the lips, effectively transferring some of the flavor of the treat you had earlier.

"Hmmm. Okay! I forgive you!" His smile made you feel so warm like nothing else could. Though, you were still to shy to tell him any of that yet.

You stood outside Jisung's dorm after he texted you to come over. From inside you could hear the voice of someone scolding him. "Jisung, don't you think you're a little young to be in a serious relationship like this?"

"I know I'm young, hyung, but that doesn't make my love any less strong," Jisung defended.

"You don't even know what love is! Just forget about y/n and focus on your work, okay?"

You had leaned up against the door to listen when you noticed the talking stopped. You jolted forward, uncontrollably as the door was swung open. "You must be y/n," the voice said. "You should really stop distracting Jisung from his job. He has work to do you know. You guys are too young to fully understand emotions anyway, so give it a rest will you?" The tall man smiled down at you in a belittling manner. He walked past you, revealing a watery eyed Jisung standing still, his only movements being the rise and fall of breathing. You could tell he was trying his best not to get upset. Tears began to well up in your eyes too. You were the cause of Jisung's scolding. Before he could see you, you took off out of the dorm as fast as your little legs could carry you. Through your blurry vision, you took out your phone to text him but ran into someone first. "Sorry, I wasn't looking."

"Y/n?" You heard Chenle's voice. "What's wrong?"

"Tell Jisung it's over. I'm leaving." The words were so painful to say. Your heart was being torn apart. If you continued to see the boy, he would continue to receive backlash from his hyungs, but it also killed you to leave him.

"What?! Y/n, what do you mean?" Chenle turned to go after you, but you were already gone.

[5:37 pm]

Baby chick 💚: y/n, where are you? Chenle just told me something's wrong.

[read 5:38 pm]

Baby Chick 💚: y/n pls respond!! I need to know you are okay TT

You: I'm safe if that's what you mean. You shouldn't contact me anymore. I'm sorry.

With that, you blocked Jisung's number. You sat alone in your dark room, all the shades closed to further enhance your sad vibes. You even went as far as to turn on your sad hours playlist and wrapped yourself in a fluffy comforter on your bed. That was the last thing you remember before you cried yourself to sleep that night.

You woke up to the nonstop noise coming from your phone. 23 missed texts from Jaemin, 11 missed calls from Chenle, and 7 missed texts from Renjun. That's when you realized you forgot to block all of Jisung's friends' numbers to. Oh well, there's nothing you can do about that now.

You slowly got out of bed and shuffled to your kitchen in search of some comfort food. Moving unhumanly slow, you found a carton of Jisung's favorite ice cream. You put it back in the freezer and settled for some shredded cheese.

You were most of the way back up to your room when you heard a knock at your door. However, you decided not to answer it. For some reason, you weren't particularly in the mood to talk to anyone. But the knocks didn't stop.

"Y/N! YOU BETTER OPEN YOUR DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL BUST IT DOWN!!" Chenle's loud voice rang through your home. "I'M GONNA COUNT TO 3!" he added. "1!" You really didn't plan on moving from where you were until... "2!" you realized the door wasn't locked. "Th-"

And before Chenle could finish, Jaemin walked right in. "Thank you for that Lele, but the door was not locked." You felt a tinge of pity for Chenle because his heart was so big but he was also kinda dense. "Y/n, come on. We have somewhere to go."

"I'm not going anywhere. You guys should leave," you retorted, somewhat harshly.

"Then, please just answer your texts from Jisung."

"I can't," your voice was weak again. Much more faint than when you first met the boys because now it was almost pathetic.

"Well, then we'll have to take you."

"What?!"

Behind Jaemin followed some of Jisung's other friends, Renjun and Jeno. They each grabbed your arms, gently pulling you. "Hey, what do you think you're doing? You can't just kidnap me!" But the boys didn't let up at your protest. "Fine. I'll go," you huff. "But at least let me get changed out of my pjs first."

"No. Why are you guys taking me to the dorm? I don't want to see him."

"Cmon y/n," Chenle pleads. "He is not talking to any of us. He won't even leave his room."

Hearing about the boy you love's condition just makes you feel even worse. Nonetheless, you couldn't just abandon him. "Okay. I'll try to talk to him. But just so you know, if he gets more hurt by this, I will never talk to any of you again." You threaten the group, but none of them seem the slightest bit worried.

You knock quietly on his door. When there was no response, you weren't even sure he'd heard you. So, you knocked again only slightly louder.

"I already told you, Jaemin, go away. I'm not coming out right now." Despite his angry tone, you could hear the sadness in his voice.

"It's not Jaemin," you manage to whisper out. The door opened immediately to reveal a disheveled Jisung with puffy eyes.

"Y/n? What are you doing here? I-" he was cut off by you hugging him.

"I'm so sorry, Jisung. I saw you get yelled at and I even got told off, myself, and I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving you but now i realize that all I did was hurt you and-" it was his turn to cut you off. He kissed you softly as tears fell down both of your faces.

"It doesn't matter anymore, now I got you here with me. Nothing matters any longer, now I got you here with me."

"Still, you got in trouble because of me."

"Don't worry. Johnny didn't bother me."

"Don't try to be cool, Jisung, I saw you almost cry afterwards." You heard him gulp loudly. "So why didn't you listen to him?"

"'Cause you show me something I can't live without." He whispered in hushed tones, "I love you."

"I love you too," you choked out between sobs. "But what will the others say."

"Yeah, I know what they say, and that's fine. 'Cause I'm here to stay, through the good and the bad times."

People call you crazy and say you're moving too fast but none of that matters to you two. Who cares if youre still teenagers? You still love each other with all your hearts. And if someday you do fall apart, such is life. But for now, anyway, all you need is Jisung by your side and vice versa.

#nct #nct dream #park jisung #jisung park #jisung #nct jisung #jisung fluff #park jisung imagines #jisung imagines #park jisung fluff #park jisung angst #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct angst #jb song series #master tag

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damienthepious · 5 years

Text

tuesday time for soft and angst and soft (and kisses)

No More Changes (I’ll Still Love You The Same) [Chapter 4]

[chapter 1] [chapter 2] [chapter 3] [ao3] [chapter 5]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, (tho not THIS chapter certainly), Curses, human!arum, (but not… because he WANTS to be), (it ain’t good y'all), Panic Attacks, Overstimulation, Rilla Is Queen Of Comfort, Damien Does Not Consider The Consequences Of His Words, The Keep Is Best Mom, Body Dysphoria

Summary: Lord Arum and his Keep have fought off curses before, but they have never dealt with one quite like this. They have never dealt with a curse while having a couple of humans around to help them, either… though it remains to be seen exactly how helpful Arum’s lovers will be, in the effort of restoring him.

Chapter Summary: Self-care is vital in times of crisis.

Chapter Notes: We all needed a little soft. And therefore this is. the LONGEST chapter so far. Chapter title from the song Riches and Wonders, by The Mountain Goats. However the song that best fits the general tone of the day is Soft, by Babygirl.

Chapter 4 - Guardians of a Rare Thing

Rilla steps through the portal and emerges on the other side in Arum’s workshop. She sighs in frustration, ready to scold Arum for trying to work in his current state, but as she glances around the workshop she realizes it’s empty. Is the Keep really that disoriented by all this? Did it bring her to the wrong room? “Uh, Keep? Where’s Arum? I need to see him.”

The response comes slow, and maybe a little softer than usual, but Rilla can hear the warning in its tone all the same. Of course. After Damien… Of course it would be afraid for Arum- afraid of Rilla, and what she might say to him. If he’s really as upset as Damien said…

“Keep, please. Let me see him. Damien made a mistake. You have to let me see him. Please, he has to know that we’re going to fix this. He can’t think that-“

She cuts off as the Keep lets out a relieved sigh, and she hears the shifting of vines. She watches as the Keep carries a mass of vines and leaves over to her and deposits it gently at her feet. She can see the shape of Arum curled up, nestled and tucked into the bramble. She can just barely see his face through the tangle of foliage, and his (painfully plain) gray eyes refuse to meet hers.

She gives a relieved sigh of her own, setting her bags down and moving closer to the vines.

“Arum-”

"Has he sent you to convince me?" Arum says, low and bitter, only half his face visible through the Keep’s embrace. "To present me with some ultimatum? Some simple human mathematics to bolster his case?"

"Arum, you know-"

"I suppose the numbers add up, when you truly simplify it, don't they? The happiness and convenience of two humans held against the desires of one monster- oh, and the monster's home, as well, but it isn't as if there is anyone left to understand and translate for it, so it does not really matter what opinion the Keep holds on the matter, does it? And besides, I am sure we are all well aware of the relative value placed on the wishes of a monster, anyway. Or- ha, or do my desires count for more, now that I am one of you?"

“No. Listen to me-”

Arum laughs, or chokes, she can’t quite tell. “A more effective curse than even they intended, I would wager. Weaken me, mute my bond with my creator, force me to face the conditional nature of human affection-“

“Arum. Damien is an insensitive ass, and he fucked up.”

Arum’s eyes finally meet hers, then, and it nearly breaks her to see the pain and hope shining there, the redness from the tears already shed, the shine from those that might still fall. Saints, oh saints but he doesn’t deserve this-

“What?” he says, suspicious, and Rilla sighs.

“I’m sorry,” she says gently. “I know- I know that Damien said some just- profoundly callous things to you. He’s- he’s just-” she shakes her head. “I just shouldn’t have left like that. I’m so sorry you and the Keep got stuck alone like this. That wasn’t what I wanted for you.” She pauses, biting her lip. “Are you- are you gonna let me in, or do you wanna have this conversation through branches? That wasn’t a judgment- whatever makes you more comfortable is fine by me.”

Arum looks away again, working his jaw soundlessly for a moment before he mutters something she can’t quite hear. There is a pause, and then the Keep shifts the vines around him, creaking them apart but not away until it opens a little window. She can see him a little better, then, see him shrunk in on himself, curled into an even tighter ball inside the embrace of his home.

She plops down on the floor beside him, because she'd rather die than try to pull him away from the Keep right now, and he tilts his head just slightly, though he does not move either towards or away from her.

"If the Keep is giving hugs, mind if I get in on that? Group hugs with mom are honestly the best," she says mildly, and it startles a weak laugh out of him, and after a moment or two he lifts his arms and the vines part a little more, widening the cozy space inside the tangled thicket. Relieved, Rilla slips in beside Arum, and the steady softness of the moss and leaves around the both of them is almost too comforting for Rilla’s worried mind to bear.

When she’s settled in the small space, her arms safely around Arum, she sighs, her brow furrowing. Arum very clearly doesn't know what to do with himself. He keeps moving his hands, slipping them from her shoulder blades to her arms to her lower back, unsettled and uncertain, and she realizes after a moment that he can’t settle because he wants to be holding her more tightly. He wants to hold her as he usually does, and he can't, now. He only has half the hands he is used to holding her with.

"I'm so sorry, Arum,” she says, and this close she barely has to do more than whisper. “We're gonna fix this, though. If we can keep from killing each other over methodology, we can figure out anything, right?"

Arum sags against her.

"I..." he hisses through his teeth, a pale shadow of the noises he should be able to make. "I intended to say that I have overcome worse. I do not actually know if that is true, this time."

“I mean, we’ve both almost died more than a few times by now, so…”

“And yet,” Arum mutters, his soft blunt fingers fluttering against her shoulders. He sighs. “Amaryllis, I…”

“I’m sorry, Arum,” she says again, steady as a boulder, soft as moss. “I’m here, now. I’m here.”

For a moment, he’s glad he’s slumped into her, that she can’t see his face. The line between crying and not-crying is becoming blurrier, and Arum is so, so tired. He can't even tell, anymore, if he's crying because of the near-pain, or out of relief because he knows that it's going to be okay because Amaryllis is here now and she’s promised they’re still going to fix this, that she understands how hard this is for him, or if it’s because even despite his relief at her presence, his thin belief that they will somehow make this right again, that still doesn't mean any of this is okay now.

"Of course-" he tries to straighten up, but she can feel the way he's trying to accommodate for a tail that is no longer there, and she has to force herself not to wince, not to let the heartbreak show on her face. "Of course, you are the only human whose mind I would trust with a task such as this. Brighter than the lot of your entire tepid species."

Normally she would poke him in the snout for a comment like that. Right now she just scowls, the look in her eye indicating clearly that she knows he's being snarky on purpose. "And you're not so bad yourself, obviously. We'll figure it out. We'll get your real body back."

Arum closes his eyes, sighs, nods against her shoulder.

"We need to get you more stable before you start trying to do science or magic, though, Arum," she says, and he grumbles but he is shaking, just a little, and he knows her stubbornness too well to protest, just now. "And... and then at some point, we need to talk to Damien."

Arum flinches, his eyes flying open, and then they narrow disdainfully. "No."

"Arum-"

"He- Amaryllis, I cannot bear to look at him. I cannot- Amaryllis he looks at this body- this stranger, and his eyes shine, already wondering at all the ways this will fix things, will fix his aberrant affection for such a horrible monster-"

His cheeks are wet, again. Rilla can feel her own heart cracking, and she wishes she could parse out how much of this is just the strange new body, and how much is the hurt. It wouldn't help to know, but- "I know. I'm sorry for that, too, but you know that he loves you, Arum. He does."

"Then why? Why look at me that way? Like he is already living in the future, where his days with a monster are past and forgotten? Why yearn for proper kisses, as if every affection passed between us was some poor imitation?" He scoffs. “He loves me. Perhaps. But it is always in spite. In spite of everything I am. Despite the fact that I am a monster, he loves me."

“Arum,” she says softly.

"He loves me and feels it as a flaw in himself,” he continues, sneering. “He loves me and feels himself broken because of it. That has- that has been thrown into stark relief today, Amaryllis. And I cannot push the question from my mind- if this is how he l-” he squeezes her tighter, and the pressure is all wrong, halved and without the cool touch of claws, and when he tries again, his voice has gone so very quiet that she would not be able to hear him if she pulled away another inch. “If this is the way he loves me, Amaryllis, in contempt of everything I am, is that- is that love at all? Is that anything like it? I have very little practice in this arena, certainly, but it cannot be- it cannot be this.”

Rilla can’t help but press a soft kiss to Arum's brow, not wanting the touch to be overwhelming but unable to clamp down on the need to soothe. "He's still caught up in how the Citadel expects him to be. He does love you, Arum. He loves you so much, just like I do, and he's trying. And when I talked to him he- he knows that he's messed this up. He knows he hurt you. And I know that none of that makes this any better, and I know that you’re really vulnerable right now and he tripped right into that, Arum, but-" she feels her heart clench, "but even if you can't forgive him." She stops again, and dammit she's not going to cry too. She's not. "Even if this is how this thing breaks, I think you owe it to him and you owe it to yourself to tell him exactly how you feel. To tell him yourself how he hurt you, and if he wants your forgiveness he can ask for it then."

He doesn't respond right away. She imagines the ticking rattle that usually accompanies his slow thoughtful pauses and it burns like a hot coal in her stomach, and then Arum presses his face into her collarbone and clenches his jaw.

"Please," she says, just quietly. "We don’t have to do it right now, and honestly it’ll probably be better to let things settle a little bit first, but I don't... I don't think you really want the last things you say to each other to be... to be that."

Arum sighs again after a long moment. "I don’t… understand. You are just as human as he is," he mutters. "Yet you seem as eager as I, to restore my proper body. Certainly it would be freeing," he sneers, "for you as well, to love another human. That is- that is what I find most painful, Amaryllis. The longer I consider his words the more I fear he may be right. I only make your lives more difficult, do I not? My own pain and discomfort aside, would your lives not be so much simpler if I were human? We would not have to hide, you would not have to lie to protect me or yourselves-“

“But you aren’t human.” Rilla scowls, and she feels hot with anger. “It doesn’t matter what they did to you. You are not a human. You are Lord Arum, He Who Rules the Swamp of Titan’s Blooms. You are a monster, and that’s exactly who we fell in love with. Not some human. You. We fell in love with you. We fell in love with Lord Arum.”

Arum sinks further into her embrace as she speaks, his breaths slowing, growing more even.

"Love is always complicated," she continues, voice softer. "And yeah, loving a monster is new for both of us, just like I bet loving humans is new and strange for you. But it’s… harder for Damien, to let go of the way he thought before. I was never like Damien, though. I never wanted to fit into the Citadel the way he did. There's a reason why I'm still 'of Exile', Arum. I chose to keep that, and I chose to be with you. I chose to be with a magical construct with gorgeous scales and four arms and a tail and a bad temper, and I'm not giving you up without a damned fight."

Arum pauses for another long moment, and then he swallows roughly. "Amaryllis... I- you know that I- I love you," he rasps. "Very dearly."

Not going to cry. Dammit. Dammit. "I love you too, Arum." She closes her eyes, pressing her face into his neck, missing his frill, trying to let his arms and the vines of the Keep around them steady her. "I'm sorry we can't seem to catch a damned break," she says with a weak, wavering laugh.

"If..." he hesitates, "if you think I should... speak with him again, I will... I will trust your judgment," he murmurs, eyes downcast. "If you believe he will listen to what I need to say. Truly listen."

"I think he will," Rilla says softly, and then she kisses his cheek and lets herself smile. "And if he doesn't? I'll just go ahead and kick him in the shins, and then the Keep can dump him in the wettest part of the swamp to think about what an asshole he's being for a little while."

The Keep gives a satisfied sort of warble as Arum half chokes on a laugh, and if it sounds like a sob on the back half Rilla's certainly not going to mention it.

She cups his face in her hands. "Whatever happens, I love you and I'm with you, and we'll figure the rest out together. Okay?"

"... Okay." Arum leans up, hesitates, and then presses the line of his mouth against the edge of her jaw, and it's strange and stiff and awkward and she is not going to cry, no matter how much her heart is breaking for the casual nuzzle of a scaled snout. They're going to fix this, so there's no reason to cry about it. "Okay," he repeats. "I believe you. Despite my better judgment."

“Okay,” Rilla says, her hands gentle upon him.

“It’s not as if I could stop you anyway,” he mutters. “I think the Keep can hear you better than it can hear me, just now.”

Well. That hurts too.

“Alright,” she says. “Alright, we’ve done enough collective moping for today, huh?”

Arum makes a noise, and she imagines that he’s attempting to growl. “I am not moping, Amaryllis-”

"No, no, I think we both were, for a minute there. But I’ve had about enough of it, I think. And as cozy as it is cuddled up in here - thank you, Keep, I really needed this too - I think we need to get you a little bit cleaned up, maybe.”

“Cleaned-” Arum hunches, defensive, and swipes his hand across his face again.

“First thing you did in this body was to fall in the dirt, Arum, and your hair has literally never been washed before. And, yeah, I think you’ll feel better if you can wash your face, too.” She smiles, as best she can. Little things, just little things until she can shift her focus to fixing the one big thing. “That sound good?”

“I don’t need you to- to coddle me,” he mutters, but he makes no move to push her away.

“Look, it won’t fix anything, but you’ll feel better if you’re not all grimy and stuck in robes that don’t currently fit you.” She shrugs. “If you wanna call that coddling, fine, but I just want you to be as comfortable as possible right now.”

He considers that.

“Fine, fine. Keep,” he pauses, mouth pressing awkwardly closed for a moment. “Keep, can you… hear me?”

Another pause, perhaps a little shorter than before, and then the Keep sings around them, light and attentive, and Arum exhales in obvious relief.

“Prepare a bath, if you would,” he asks, soft, and the Keep chimes a clear affirmation, the leaves of their small shelter shivering around them. “Good. Yes. Th-thank you.”

Rilla holds Arum gently for another moment, then releases him so she can press her palms against their shelter, and the tangle surrounding them slowly creaks outward until they can clamber out. Rilla carefully helps Arum back to his unsteady feet, making sure that he’s leaning safely against her as she leads him through the new portal the Keep has provided to the washroom. It’s heartening, that the Keep is stable enough to do so without explicit instruction.

“Alright,” Rilla says as the enormous cupped-leaf basin that serves as the Keep’s bathtub fills with gently steaming water, “get your robes off, and then when we’re done I’ll find something that fits you a little better for the moment.”

Arum- flinches, clinging to the soft purple cloth covering his unfortunate new frame despite the way it still overwhelms his senses. “I- but-”

“Arum, I’m a doctor, I’ve seen like, hundreds of naked human bodies. It’s not even close to a big deal.” She glances away, and then back towards him with a painfully understanding look, and she does not say that she knows he does not want to look at himself like this, not bare and vulnerable, but he knows that she knows, all the same.

He huffs, but then he rolls his eyes. “I suppose that makes sense,” he grumbles, and then he steels himself and starts to pull the robes off, wincing as he goes, gritting his teeth as the cloth slides over his sensitive skin, shuffling it down and baring a decidedly uncomfortable amount of this soft terrible skin to the open air.

“Oh- dammit, Arum, hold on-”

Arum blinks and freezes as Rilla comes close, wrapping her fingers around his wrist and angling the limb so she can see his forearm. With no small degree of bewilderment he sees a distinct scrape, speckled with grit and purpling dark with bruise beneath the redder parts of the wound.

“I- when did-”

“Probably right when you first changed- when you fell,” Rilla says, her brow furrowed with irritation. “You must’ve hit a rock or a root or something, and you didn’t notice because of all of the rest of it.”

Arum huffs, gritting his blunt teeth together. “Ridiculous fragile body cannot handle a fall of a few feet? Absolutely absurd-”

“Hold still, would you?”

Her medical bag is still at her hip, and she starts methodically pulling out what she needs to treat the injury as Arum stands and scowls and shuffles his feet. Now that he is aware of the wound it feels sharp and strange, much more present than a similar scrape would have been on his scales. That would have merely been superficial, and certainly this must be as well (humans cannot possibly be fragile enough to take permanent damage from so small a mishap, they simply cannot), but regardless it feels so vivid. To feel an injury this much in his proper form, it would need to truly pierce his scales, not- bruise him.

There is a safety in the look on Amaryllis’ face as she attends him, though. A familiarity. In matters of healing her focus is always unwavering, a universal force he trusts without needing to even consider it. By the time the bandages are safely wrapped around his new skin, his new injury (do bandages always itch on human skin?), he feels reassured for more reasons than just the treatment of the wound.

Amaryllis solves problems.

Foolish as it may be, he trusts that she will help him fix this one.

“There,” she says, voice soft and steady, and instead of letting go of his arm, she simply slips her hand down to take his, brushing their fingers together with barely any pressure at all. “Now. Let’s get you in the water, okay?”

Her grip on his hand is a bit tighter as he dips his toes in, and it’s a good thing, too, because these damned feet have no grip, no claws or scales for traction, and he nearly slips on the edge. She keeps hold of him, though, and with no major incident and only muted grumbling he settles into the mellow warmth of the water. It is still… somewhat overwhelming, but less so than the cloth of his robes, and at least with the water in the way he doesn’t really have to look at his current form. He cups his hands in the water first, then, and splashes his face, as if one sort of water can pretend away another. He does… feel marginally better, after even just that little bit.

Rilla sets her bag aside and settles to sit by the edge of the basin behind him, taking the basket of soaps and other mysterious jars and oils that the Keep dutifully hands to her with a smile, and Arum tries his level best not to feel like a damned helpless hatchling, forced to rely on Amaryllis and his Keep for something so very simple as bathing himself.

The frustration must show on his face, though, because Rilla’s expression goes infuriatingly sympathetic again, and she sets the basket down and reaches out, gently nudging him forward.

“Lean back for me?” she says, soft, and he gives her a suspicious look. “Gotta get your hair wet before anything else,” she elaborates, and Arum works his jaw stubbornly, still feeling so unutterably humiliated for a tense moment before Rilla exhales sharply. “C’mon, you’ve helped me wash my hair before, just- let me do this for you. I want to do this for you, Arum.” She pauses. “Please.”

Arum looks away from her, his throat feeling tight, and then he leans into hands, allowing her to dip his head into the bath, the bizarre sensation of warm water on his scalp making him shiver.

“Okay,” she murmurs when he’s up again, and then he hears her uncork something, and then she says, quite seriously, “You have to let me know if it feels like too much, Arum. Okay? Last thing I want right now is to make anything worse.”

He grumbles something wordless, not really wanting to acknowledge the idea that a simple touch might push him past some limit, but she does not touch him yet.

“Promise me you’ll tell me, Arum,” she says behind him, and Arum is absolutely certain that he has never in his entire long life done anything to deserve this degree of care.

“Fine, Amaryllis, fine, I will inform you if this pathetic form is overwhelmed by soap, are you happy?” he gripes, and he is satisfied to hear her laugh lightly at his back.

He sighs, settling an inch or so deeper into the water, covering his shoulders, and then he feels her hands, just light at the nape of his neck, slipping up into his unfamiliar mess of hair, and Arum’s eyes slip closed without a thought.

It feels-

It is intense, certainly, especially when whatever soap she is applying starts to foam, and when she starts to work her careful fingers through the tangles, attentively working them out, her blunt nails dragging along his scalp, he understands why his humans- why Amaryllis enjoys it so, when he runs careful claws through her own hair.

“So, obviously, this whole situation is rough,” Rilla says suddenly, without preamble, and Arum scoffs at the understatement as he pulls his knees towards his chest, curling into a more awkward ball. “I'm not going to pretend that it's not, Arum, and I don’t expect you to be happy about any of it. That being said, though… you know, it doesn't have to be all misery and gloom. You've got a pretty unique opportunity, here!" She grins, pulling a hand from his hair and rinsing off the soap so she can touch his shoulder, stroking her thumb over the crook of his neck and watching the way that makes him shiver. "We'll get your body back. Obviously." She shrugs, as nonchalant as she can manage even though he’s still facing away, even though he can’t see her. "But in the meantime, you get to have, just, a bunch of unique new experiences that it's unlikely that any other monster has ever gotten to have!"

"Such as... what, precisely, Amaryllis?" He glances at her suspiciously over his shoulder, but he is leaning towards her as he resumes his former position, allowing her hands back in his hair and obviously more curious than he wants to let on.

Which. Saints bless. It's been so hard to see him this unsteady, this upset, and if she can just draw back some of the fire in him- well, he deserves to at least have some good in this horrible ordeal. Plus, gauging his reactions to new stimuli might turn out to be helpful in figuring this mess out, too. Rilla is a big fan of tasks with multiple purposes.

"Like... right now, like how you’re getting first-hand experience in how it feels when you play with my hair." She grins, and Arum’s posture goes a little stiff, his face a little blank, because it feels as if she has plucked that thought from his very mind. "You can see how it feels to us, to touch things with our fragile human skin. I can show you how kissing like a human feels, just for comparison." She pauses, and he glances over his shoulder again to see the slightly awkward tilt of her smile. “If- if you would like that, I mean.”

“A-ah.” He flushes dark. She misses the frill pretty acutely, for a moment, but it's interesting to have confirmation of her perpetual suspicion; Arum blushes easily.

Her smile softens again, and she cups his cheek very, very gently in her less-soapy palm. "We'll fix this sooner rather than later, so you'd better see what all this being human stuff is about before we change you back, right?"

“If… if you say so, Amaryllis.”

“I do say so,” she says, and he assumes that the smugness in her voice is a veneer. He can respect that. Her hands scrub across his scalp with just slightly more pressure and he- he cannot give the gentle throaty rumble he wishes he could, but he can sigh, at least. “Lean back for me again?”

He does as instructed, indulging the herbalist with a mild frown, and when his hair is submersed her careful touch works to rinse the soap out, and even if it feels just on the bare edge of overwhelming it is the most pleasant sensation he has felt in this body so far.

Damien always loves to say that their herbalist has healing hands. Arum abhors hyperbole, but at least in this assessment, Sir Damien speaks with precision.

He lifts out of the water again, and Rilla works something new into his hair, something smoother. Then she holds out a cloth over his shoulder, for him to take. “Here. Help me multitask and we can get you out of there before the water gets too cold.”

Arum takes proffered cloth from Amaryllis, but as she hands him the bottle of soap he fumbles it. His grip is all wrong, he no longer has to accommodate for sharp claws, and so his loose grip and stubby fingers are not strong enough to hold the nearly full bottle. It falls into the bath with a loud splash, and he snarls automatically and flinches away from the water that splashes up into his face. This- this absurd body, these hands. The frustration- the frustration he cannot even find words for, of trying to reach, trying to catch with limbs that are no longer a part of him, and he feels so useless as Amaryllis gently reaches around him to pull the bottle up out of the water and pour a bit of soap onto the cloth for him.

He bites back a snappy remark about how at least she trusts him with a cloth, if not a soap bottle, because she’s… trying. This is difficult and frustrating for him, but that doesn’t mean he has any right to take it out on her. She’s trying so hard to make this better for him. He knows she’s not… judging him for this. He hates feeling pitied (Damien’s voice in his mind, overly saccharine and indulgent and eager: I am sorry you have been so maligned, darling, but no curse could ever-) but Rilla doesn’t make him feel that way. Of course she’s sorry for him and he knows that, but she never makes him feel uncomfortable. She’s always rational and logical, never overwhelming him with emotions like… well.

He shakes his head to clear that thought and focuses on the feel of Amaryllis’s hands in his hair again, slow and easy. After a moment, he takes the washcloth and begins to run it over his arms. As he runs it over his left arm - careful to avoid getting the fresh bandages wet - he notices the skin there, just above his elbow, is unmarked. The scar that he’s… grown accustomed to, since his first meeting with the little knight, is gone. As if it never happened.

It’s… fitting, he thinks bitterly. He can almost imagine what Sir Damien would think of this new development. You see, my love, just as this new form brings a new kind of freedom to our relationship, so, too, are the old injuries and mistakes erased.

He bites down a laugh he would be unable to explain to Amaryllis. How Damien would thrill at the idea of that old injury merely ceasing to exist. How happy he would be, to know the harm he had caused could simply vanish from the world as though it never occurred. The harm, yes, and also- also the erasure would absolve Sir Damien of his heresy, that blasphemous mercy his Citadel would only ever condemn him for. As if it never occurred.

It would never occur to Damien that the mark he left on Arum would be… significant. A reminder of exactly why he lo- of where his interest in Sir Damien began. A single act of mercy, and with it a promise. A promise that Arum’s monstrous nature was not enough on its own to condemn him to death. A promise that Damien wanted him, a monster. Wanted him alive, if nothing else, and then more than just that.

Now even that simple, meaningful mark is gone. Just as Damien-

Well. Amaryllis does not wish for him to wallow in misery in gloom, does she? Why he is even thinking of the poet now- it’s ridiculous. He is being ridiculous, and all the while Rilla is steady behind him, hands holding him as safe as he can be in this form, and he should allow himself to enjoy that, shouldn’t he? He cannot say how much longer he will be allowed it, after all.

Because even if Amaryllis is correct, even if they can overcome this, even if this time tomorrow Arum is wearing his own skin again, he cannot say what will come of his- his relationship with these humans he has allowed into his home. Into his- into his heart. His two partners were intertwined long before they knew him, after all. If he breaks from one of them-

How could he expect the other not to break as well?

Arum feels his throat clench again, feels the tension in his chest that he is unfortunately becoming quite familiar with.

Arum- Arum needs to let her know. To let her know it’s okay. She has offered so much- so much gentleness and care, more than he could possibly deserve, and-

He may as well say it now, he thinks. He may as well say it while her hands are upon him, while he needs not look her in the eye. He does not think he would have the bravery to say this, otherwise.

"I know you have promised, Amaryllis, to... to assist me in this. To help restore my form." He pauses, and she doesn't, her hands steady and soothing in his strange new hair, working some mysterious softness through his dark locks. "But… but I will understand, if Sir Damien and I cannot reconcile-" he swallows, and forces himself to continue. "I will understand if you and I must part as well, in turn."

Her hands finally stop moving, and she pulls them away to rinse off in the water before she tilts his face back towards her, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "Arum. What?"

"I would not ask you to part with your betrothed," he says, and he still cannot meet her eye because if he does he will dissolve again to nonsense, because all he wishes to do is draw her closer and closer until she can never leave, because he is selfish. "If he and I- if we cannot endure this together, I do not expect that you will humor me alone after you are finished with the task of restoring me to myself. I would not ask this of you."

Her breath catches, and it doesn't sound quite like a laugh. "Arum. Do you really think that I would just-"

"There would be a symmetry to it," he murmurs, very suddenly unwilling to hear her confirm his suspicions. "A symmetry- you came into my life because I needed you to heal my Keep- if we parted after you helped to heal me- yes, it would be a rather logical arc-"

"I'm not going anywhere,” she says, her voice thick, and when he glances to her in surprise her eyes take on a determined glint. She pushes closer, lifting her leg over the edge of the basin and slipping into the warm water beside him fully clothed, despite his surprised yelp of protest, and she wraps her arms around him, squeezing tight. "I'm not giving you up, you absolute idiot."

"Amaryllis- I- I know you feel the need to- to comfort me,” he says, his new voice shivering wild like an aspen in a light breeze, “and I- I admire your kindness, you commitment, but-"

"Idiot," she hisses. "I don't know how things are going to work out between you and Damien, Arum, and yeah, I'm not going to pretend that doesn't break my heart. I'm not going to pretend it's not going to be hard, no matter what else happens. But I love you," she presses her face into his neck, the pads of her fingers digging sturdy and solid into his shoulder blades. "I love you. And I already told you, I'm not going to give you up without a fight."

"Amaryllis this… us. It's all so new, and difficult, and... Damien and yourself- you fit together so perfectly already, as though you were made for each other. I do not… I do not belong with you the way that he does."

"I don't believe in fate, Arum. I believe the choices we make create our fates. And I chose you, just as much as I chose Damien."

Arum squeezes his eyes shut. Why she chose him, he’ll never understand. After all he did to her, after what he almost did to all of them-

"And... to be honest, Arum? If... if Damien can't see how much he's hurting you-" Rilla pauses, and Arum can feel the tension in her frame, can feel that she's holding herself rather tightly. "If he really has convinced himself that this could be better for you, somehow, if he's really willing to be that selfish, and that cruel… I have a hard time believing he's still that deluded, but- if he really is... I don't know." She exhales, her shoulders drooping. "I don't know. I- it would be... hard. It would be hard to- to be with him, after that. I feel like I would need some time- that he and I would need some time away from each other, at least. To figure out how I feel about that."

“But-” Arum’s mouth hangs open for a moment, “I-” he pauses. “And if- if Damien and I- if we cannot reconcile, and Damien remembers that he does not wish to share you with some- some monster any longer?”

She scoffs, her expression going wry. "Frankly, Arum, I don't respond all that well to ultimatums. If I actually felt like I was in a position where I absolutely had to-" she makes a noise that's not really a laugh, "to choose between the two of you, I don't have the first clue what I would do with that. I love both of you. I love both of you so much, I don't know how I would- how I could possibly-" she pauses, inhaling sharply and visibly centering herself. "But. And honestly I very much doubt that Damien would ever do this, but if for some reason he thought he could come and try to twist my arm in some tacky "it's him or me" scenario- well, let's just say that I don't think that would end particularly well for him."

Arum cannot speak, not for a number of breaths after that. Rilla doesn't speak either, but her silence feels more deliberate. "A-Amaryllis," he says eventually, uncertain and unsteady. "You- you should not be forced to toss aside your bond with Damien, not for my sake-"

"I wouldn't be," Rilla says, and her own voice is even, now, her cheek resting easy on his shoulder. "I’m not saying I’m gonna snap my fingers and say goodbye, but depending on how this breaks- I might need some time to think about whether or not he’s the person I think he is. And- and if that's the way it works out, it will be a choice I make for myself."

There is no response Arum can give to that. He can hold her, though. He can hold her, even if it feels like a half-measure, less secure with two less limbs, as if she could slip from his grasp with barely any effort.

She does not want to, though. He reminds himself of that.

“You’re gonna get all pruney if we stay in here much longer, though,” she sighs, squeezing him and then pulling back enough to meet his eye. “Did this help? Even a little?”

“You helped,” he mutters, glancing away and feeling strange heat in his cheeks. “You always help.”

She makes a noise, and when he looks towards her again, she-

There are tears in her eyes.

“Amaryllis,” he breathes, and she laughs strangely, lifting her hands and brushing the heels of her palms beneath her eyes.

“I know, I know,” she says in a thick sort of voice. “I’m sorry, ridiculous human emotional whatever, I’ll have a handle on it in just a second-”

“Amaryllis,” he says again, and he draws her closer, lifting a hand and almost, almost touching her cheek. “No, no apologies, Amaryllis. You-”

She has been holding herself so carefully, he realizes. Spine straight, hands gentle, smile sturdy. And she has been doing so for his sake.

“No,” she says, sighing as if the tears are an irritating sort of imposition, “I’ve got it, I’ve got it, just gimme a sec, here-”

“I love you,” Arum says, helpless against the tide of it, and her breath hitches as he cups her cheek and thumbs away a tear and he- he hates this curse all the more, that it is hurting her, too.

She looks up at him (less up than usual, but still), her lips tilting wryly, and Arum-

Arum sways towards her.

He is accustomed to brushing the thin, inelastic line of his mouth across their lips in request, accustomed to allowing the humans to lead a ‘kiss’ as they desire it, but this time when his mouth meets hers he has even less idea what to do than he normally does.

He understands the fondness they have for the act, though. Why this gentle human curve is so intensely sensitive is beyond his understanding, but the strange sharp tingle of even this unpracticed, unsure kiss is like some sort of wildfire. Skin. However humans manage not to collapse from the intensity of every touch is a mystery.

He also realizes, with some mortification, that he does not know at all what to do next.

In his own body, he would-

He parts his lips, nipping Rilla’s bottom lip with these odd blunt teeth, and she laughs in surprise, pulling away just enough to meet his eye before she dissolves into laughter again.

That is like wildfire, too. Her laughter. The brightness it kindles in his own heart. He smiles when she collects herself, and she shakes her head at him.

“Ridiculous lizard,” she mutters, breathless, and Arum can’t help but laugh along with her.

#elle's writing #sky's writing #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #lord arum #amaryllis of exile #the keep #this one is SO LONG OOPS #also please god please tell us what you think i'm dying

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