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blossom-hwa · 3 years

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college model!juyeon

SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.4k

genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au

triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)

fashion major!kevin

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices

and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF

so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you

you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)

so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too

and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week

it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO

kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash

(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)

then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress

and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off

AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens

at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are

and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean

juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.

which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself

(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)

(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)

anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine

juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece

you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)

juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there

you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you

juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3

and that’s how it goes.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

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A will they, won’t they relationship with Seth Brundle would include~

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous/Hope this is what you wanted!)

(I chose to do this outside of the plot but I wouldn’t be opposed to doing something similar during the plot <3)

- Seth was never an incredibly social person but seemingly out of nowhere, it became abundantly clear that he needed somebody in his life. An assistant; he’d reasoned with himself, somebody who could help him with his work while also ensuring he didn’t go insane staying cooped up inside his house all day. That was where you came into the picture.

- You’d been working as an engineer/machinist when you first met him. Over the years, it became a habit of his to go to one specific company for his very important machinery and odd parts. You were a new hire of theirs, one he became anonymously and particularly fond of after seeing the level of care you put into your work.

- It was during one of his routine pick ups that the two of you finally met face to face. It didn’t take him long to decide that you were the perfect person to employ; young, intelligent, precise, …pretty. After learning that you had a background in biology, he considered it a match made in heaven.

- He asked if you’d like to see what he’d been building, planning to propose a partnership once he’d successfully amazed you with his invention. Since your shift was almost finished; and you were a tad bit curious, you took the bait and agreed to go with him. The rest is history.

- Seths never really had anyone to talk to about his work so it’s really a breath of fresh air when you come into his life. He can finally have a conversation with someone who’s on the same level as him and understands what he’s saying.

- The two of you can have deep, hour(s) long conversations with each other and not even realize it. Sometimes you’ll figure that you’ve only been talking for maybe an hour tops, then check the clock and find out you’ve actually been talking for three hours. Guess time ...flies when you’re having fun.

- Touching and staying close to each other’s sides any chance you get. You normally have to work in pretty close proximity so it isn’t all that hard to find an excuse.

- The two of you get to know each other very well, I mean, that’ll happen when you spend nearly all day and night with a person for days on end. But regardless, he can recite all your favorite things and uses it to his advantage.

- Sometimes, he’ll just surprise you with a treat or gift, usually something like buying you your favorite hot drink or dessert. He likes being able to make you smile and absolutely adores when you return the favor.

- Late night take out dinners after a long day of hard work. Some of your best memories have taken place on the floor of his apartment, cheap food container in hand and a smile on your face.

- Crashing at his place when you wind up working late into the night. Waking up and seeing you asleep on his couch/bed never fails to make his heart flutter and bring a smile to his face.

- Teasing and treating each other like you’re an old married couple. Every now and again you’ll bicker with each other and he swears you both sound just like his grandparents.

- The two of you have definitely been mistaken for a couple more than a few times. It never fails to make his heart race whenever someone says you look good together or calls you his girlfriend. He always tries to subtly look over at you to see your reaction, hoping that you don’t look bothered by the idea.

- He started calling you darling and honey jokingly; both because of your tendency to get mistaken for a couple and just to be a smartass, but then he just never stopped. It’s become a habit of his and one that he isn’t going to be able to break anytime soon, no matter how hard he tries.

- The amount of times he’s made you flustered with his compliments/praise; specifically after you spark an idea in him or make him realize something, is embarrasing. Oftentimes, he’ll kiss your cheek/forehead, laughing like he’s just gotten an adrenaline rush and calling you a genius.

- He’s definitely exclaimed that he loves you in these moments but you just think it’s strictly platonic, like how someone will say “god, I could just kiss you” when they’re overjoyed. If only you knew the truth.

- Whenever he gets something right/finally figures out what’s happening, he turns into an adorable fool. He giddily takes you by the arms and demands that the two of you celebrate, already moving towards the liquor cabinet as you try to calm your beating heart.

- Everytime you tell him that you believe in him or think he’s a good scientist, he has to stop himself from smashing his lips to yours.

- Theres a few times where he almost kisses you for real and you’re nearly sure he will. Once when you were both huddled around his computer, your faces inches apart (a fact you realize when you finally look at each other for the first time). He glances down at your lips and begins to lean in but stops himself, apologizing and stepping back with a shy smile.

- The second time is when you fix a major bug in his system, making everything work just the way it should. He’s grinning ear to ear as he calls you brilliant and a million other names, all but running over to where you stand. He hesitates for a moment; contemplating just doing what he’s dreamed of doing for so long, before he finally just pulls you into a tight hug. You never thought a hug would make you so dissapointed.

- Then there’s the times where he’s almost told you how he felt. There was definitely a few but one stands out to you even to this day. The two of you had been working together for a few months and he’d finally decided that he could completely trust you. He brought up the idea of adding your voice to his machine and couldn’t help but smile at how excited you got.

- You spent the next hour or so programming your voice into the system and once you were finished he very nearly told you that he loved you. Right at the last minute, he decided that he just couldn’t do it and instead told you that he was glad that the two of you met.

- He’s finally forced to confess his feelings to you about a year or so after you become partners. While you can’t deny that you love him, you also can’t wait around for forever so you agreed to go out on a date with an acquaintance of yours.

- When you tell Seth, he seems bothered by the idea but he plays it off like he just wanted your help in the lab. He very nearly says accepts when you offer to reschedule your date but ultimately decides that it’s not fair and tells you to have fun, giving you a forced smile as you promise to stop by afterwards in case he needs any help.

- When you return to his house later in the night, he asks you how it went, taking the time to tell you how nice you look all dressed up. You shyly admit that you weren’t really planning on seeing the man again which makes him visibly happier. It’s then that he finally tells you what you’ve been waiting to hear for so long.

“Y/n,” he starts abruptedly, turning around to face you “Theres something I’ve been meaning to tell you, something that I can’t hold back any longer. Y/n ... I am completely in love with you and have been since the moment I saw you.”

“Now if you dont like me back thats fine but I couldnt live with myself if I didnt at least try to tell you how I felt. It finally hit me that I could lose my chance forever if I don’t say anything and thats not a risk I’m willing to take. I never want to feel how I felt tonight ever again in my entire life. So ...what do you say?” He asked, his voice slowing to a nervous stop.

- It felt like a dream when you returned his affections. He’s so excited to be in a relationship, especially with you of all people. He’s surprised that you want to be with him but god is he glad.

- The two of you share your first kiss right then and there, slowly moving toward each other until you’re nearly chest to chest. You’re still gazing into each other’s eyes as his arms encircle your waist. You only close them once his lips press against yours, stealing your breath away.

- It’s safe to say that you spend all night wrapped up in each other’s arms, making up for lost time.

#80s movie imagine #80s movie headcanons #80s movie headcanon #the fly imagine #the fly headcanons #the fly headcanon #Seth Brundle imagine #Seth Brundle headcanons #Seth Brundle headcanon

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doodles-arts · 4 years

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Request: turtles reacting to crush

pairing?: All 2003 turtles x reader

Rating?: Pg

Warings?: loads of fluff

Request: 2003 turtles reaction to their crush, the turtles did the sweetest thing ever for them, talking loads of nice stuff about their crush, protecting crush or showing their nice/happy sides and crush waits until they are alone and crush says, crush has been good friends with the individual turtle, so they’ve never spoken like this before, “You know you’re really beautiful”?

Summary: The boys all react a little differently to a super hawt crush! some boast, others turn hate into love

A/N: I did get carried away with my baby Donnie a little, if your interested in a one shot of a biker reader with a sarcastic Donnie, please reblog! I’d love to write it, but am working on other things for you guys, so if you’d like it let me know to make some time! @donatello-writes thought you might like the donatello part. Give it a heart if it were any good and read this lil note, love your work!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leonardo:

Met you because you were being jumped.

Classic hero saving damsel in distress

Doesn’t trust you at first for the sake of his family

But he grows on you

2 sizes...

You're absolutely the sweetest!

You bake him things for free as a thank you for saving your life

He can’t help but eAT it AlL

Master splinter actually makes him run laps around the sewers because of how lagged he is.

He asks Donnie for a diet plan and is h e a r t b r o k e n when he’s told NO SUGARS

You make him keto and protein cookies for his weekly cheat meal

You apologized when you were told he couldn’t eat anymore because he had gotten bigger.

The boys tease him about his weight when you're around.

Even after he lost all the extra weight.

His calm demeanor eases all your anxieties

He loves the way you're just so kind to all his brothers and everyone you meet.

One day when you were baking a cake for Mikeys birthday and all other kinds of party favors for all the boys, Leonardo kept you company. You both talked and about things you were planning, you both were very close. And Leo was very obsessed with you and your baking apron. He probably followed your back end with googly eyes all afternoon.

You didn’t mind having him keep your company and hand you any ingredients you needed but you couldn’t help but notice how much more his muscles were showing off. He was RIPPED. You blushed and looked away when he caught your wandering eyes. He didn’t seem to mind, keeping the conversation going about your next hangout. He watched you with adoration and when you couldn’t reach for something on a high shelf he chuckled and offered to get it for you. You didn’t want to seem helpless but he was willing.

“That would be great actually!” You smiled and stepped back, “coming to my rescue as per usual~”, he blushed but you couldn’t see it as he reached up to grab the barely used baking soda. As he stretched, time slowed. His usual strap that held his katana was resting as you both cooked. Without it, it brought much more focus on the flesh on his side that wasn’t covered by his plastron or shell. It was insane how his muscles on his sides stretched and rolled. You could have drooled right there. But there was more to your private show, the little potbelly he used to harbor thanks to your baking, was long gone! His arms were round and plump. The muscles warned anyone who tried to mess with the leader. A clear reminder that you were in love with a god. A GOD. He was magnificent, his body chiseled from stone by Donatello or Michelangelo, the sculptors. You sucked in a breath, trying to make the second longer, but all good things come with an end…

You couldn’t help how your cheeks flushed as your thoughts wandered and traveled. As did your eyes, embarrassing yourself even more as he turned sharply, his glutes flexing as he took a step forward, you just couldn’t believe it-

“-You know you’re beautiful, right?” Leonardo almost dropped the bottle of baking soda that slipped from his three-fingered hands when you had commented on this. Quickly catching it and trying to grab his cool back from slipping in between his fingers as well. You giggled, laughing at your own embarrassment to lessen it. You might have been a bit flustered, but you meant it. “Uh.. thanks?” Still flustered and taken aback, Leo handed you the bottle and sat back down.

The air was thick with an awkward feeling, it might have been you, but you did mean it, you could have meant it platonically or romantically, so you weren’t that worried if he didn’t feel that way. He was clearly the source of the feeling. Refusing to talk afterward. Growing with anticipation, you put too much baking soda in the bowl and groaned in annoyance, scooping the part of the batch that had too much and throwing it out. After it was fixed you took a spoonful and handed it to Leo, “I’m sorry if I said anything out of line, peace offering?”

You had been making an eggless cookie dough batch so that you could give Mikey some cookie dough to eat without getting sick. And as Leo looked at you with that tiny sweet smile, he knew he was cracking. He wasn’t offended, not at all! He was flattered! Honored! But how could he reveal his true feelings if you might not feel the same? He took the spoon with a smile, “accepted!”

When he was finished with the spoon and set it down, you jumped into his arms for a hug, “good! Now stop being so quiet! You're my favorite person, so be my taste tester!” He felt his control falling and before you could pull away he hugged you tighter, you giggled and hugged back. But it was when he wouldn’t let go that you felt something was off. And there was, Leo was freaking out about how to approach you about this. “I’m sorry, but let’s stay like this, I have something to tell you”, he whispered into your ear huskily. You couldn’t help the goosebumps on your arm that stood when his warm breath hit the side of your neck.

“Okay-yeah, okay”, you replied shakily, you weren’t scared, not in the slightest, you could feel a spring in the bottom of your stomach start to tighten. His close proximity had your head swimming. You breathed in his scent and swooned inwardly to the smell of metal oil, peppermint body wash, and the scent of his natural skin.

“I… I know how strange it might seem, but I like ya’. Something about you has me pulling towards you. You always make me happier. I don’t know how else to tell ya, but I want-” before he could answer, your breathless voice did,

“Yes, I like you too, silly.” He hugged you closer as he silently fist pumped the air behind you, “shell yes!”

“I can feel that Leo” You giggled.

Donatello:

Your Casey’s sister

He hates you once he gets to know you

Your blunt, straightforward and RUDE

You’re really smart tho

And slim thicc…

Every time you come he leaves to his lab

He can’t stand you Casey, and Raph roughhousing

He can’t stand watching you on some days either tho…

He hates the way you make him feel

He’ll never admit it but he’s in la-la-la-la-loveeee

The way your arms are beefed up

You’re not picky

You don’t complain

You confront him once, asking, ”what’s your problem!” and he lashes out that your blunt, straight forward and provocative

He didn’t mean that last part

You bluntly tell him you don’t care about what he thinks, you never did anything directly to him for him to always give you attitude

You ask for a truce, instead of being problematic and resorting to violence

From that moment Donnie feels different about you

guess you weren’t so problematic and dumb as he thought

You agreed to help out with his experiments as a peace offering. They’re boring and you hate them but you try for Donnie. Lately, he has been asking many experiments from you, asking to help him with tools and taking notes. He said your handwriting was ‘prettier, surprisingly’. You told him his face was surprising. You both threw jabs at each other constantly. But you grew to like it, he was quick on his feet and always knew what to say back or when to stop. Most people were too sissy to take your comebacks or too sensitive to throw jabs. As you got to know Donnie you noticed how much fun he actually could be. You certainly didn’t have to prove your strength around him or get bruises by the end of the day. With him, it was playful and calm, sure you still liked a bit of wrestling here or there, it had been hotwired into your system by then.

Donnie respected that and you respected that he didn't enjoy the roughhousing around his equipment or in his lab. The mutual respect was a different tune than the constant hating glares you'd send each other. As you sat on the table next to the bike he was fixing up you were humming a tune to yourself, waiting for Donatello to ask for another tool. It kinda reminded you about your dad…

You blew a raspberry and laid you back on the clear table, “I’m bored”, you huffed out. You were tired of just sitting around, looking at the wall, “Well, lucky you, I just finished” he responded dryly. You rolled your eyes and hopped off the table to help him off his shell, “for the tallest slimmest turtle of the bunch, you sure are heavy.” you snickered as he faked a laugh and rolled the bike through the back entrance. “Yea, now shut up and follow me.”

You huffed and walked alongside him, “Soooo, who’s the bike for. Do I get to ride it first? Only fair since I helped!” You mused, trying to convince him to let you ride the bike. You used to own a bike, and you loved that thing to death since it was the one your dad had made for you until Casey broke it.

~~~

You were furious, it was the last thing you had of your dads, and he totally wrecked it during the night with Raph. You tried your hardest to fix it, but you didn’t have the cash for the spare parts, so you ended up scrapping the beat-up engine and the seat, hoping to still find the memory of your dad in them. You kept it in your room. Inside your closet.

After that, it took Casey months to get back on your good side, you only held out that long because he refused to tell you how he broke it. After another month of torture and burnt eggs in the morning, Casey begged the turtles to tell you the truth. And he did, promising to explain what happened to the bike, but he had to show you something first. And that’s how you met the turtles and Donnie’s stuffy ass.

~~~

“It’s yours. So you can ride it wherever you want, genius.” Donnie had to look away, feeling flustered that he was doing this. But you stopped dead in your tracks. When Donnie noticed that you had stopped, and turned to look at you. You had this dumb look on your face as you starred at the bike. Taking small steps towards the seat and opening it, “what’s wrong with you?” He asked, hoping for you to say something back. Kinda creeped out by your silence and wide eyes. As you lifted the seat, ignoring his remark and noticed the little engraved signature of you and your dad. Your heart broke into tiny pieces and fell in the pit of your stomach, you fell to your knees, feeling yourself shaking. Looking at the familiar engine.

“Where did you get this-” he felt a little nervous at the tone of your voice. Deeply unwavering, you sounded half dead. Pissed.

“I thought you’d-”

“WHERE!” He gulped, you hadn’t even looked at him. He walked around the bike to your side, “I’m sorry, but I and Casey took the liberty to rebuild a junk bike with your seat, I fixed the engine and put it in too. If I knew it would bother you so much, I wouldn’t have invaded your privacy.” He still felt your cold demeanor and didn’t dare touch you. Your silence only fueled his anxiousness. Your shoulders were slumped and you tried your best not to break, but the pieces were all falling down. Remembering the night as a little girl that you both worked on the bike and engraved your names on the underside of the seat and rode it for a test drive.

The tears flowed down your cheeks before you could stop them, it was unusual for you to cry, but your bike. His bike, our bike. It was back and fixed, you had something to feel like he was still there, waiting for you to come home after riding. Donnie’s warmth was wafting towards you and you gave him a tight hug. He still stayed after you yelled and didn’t make fun of you when you cry. he really was sweet... huh.

“Thank you, Donnie. I never knew you were so soft.” You pulled away and gave him a soft punch on the arm. He chuckled, trying not to stare at your tear-stained face, it was strange to see you that way. “Nothing wrong with being a little soft, now get outta here and tell me how well the bike does,” he smiled.

You smirked, rising and pulling the turtle behind you, swinging a leg over the bike like second nature. Pulling him on too, “you’re coming with, nerd. We’re gonna have the ride of our lives.” You rev the bike and speed out the sewers, and he yelps. He quickly holds on to your waist for dear life as you ride about the sewer. A raise in the concrete sends you in the air a few feet and you laugh as you feel him hold on tighter, the drop back down sending your sunglasses down, covering your eyes from the wind as you drive faster. His buff arms were warm on your waist. They felt good, and it almost distracted you while you were driving, what would it be like to have them wrapped around you on different circumstances?

You made swift and tight turns that made it feel like your bike would fall on its side. But you were a better driver than Casey could ever dream to be! Donnie was in good hands. As you drove back to the lair, your hair wind-whipped, and all over the place, Donnie couldn’t help but feel both scared out of his mind and adrenaline rush!

As you both hopped off you smiled at the slacked jaw turtle, “she rides good, I’ll probably change her tires though. Maybe loosening the steering gear, makes the tight turns feel less death-defying.” You refered to the bike and giggled as you helped him off, having a new feeling of adoration for Don, even with that dumb look on his face. After he wiped the surprise of his face and laughed you noticed something about Donnie, he had a tendency to stare. That much you already knew, but with you, it was like he couldn’t look away or keep staring all at the same time.

‘Hmm… Oh.. OHHH… How could I have never noticed before?’ You smiled at him and grabbed him by the sides of the plastron and forced him to look at you. “He-Hey, what’s the big idea!” You kept smirking, watching his cues, of getting angry, huffing, and pushing you off as he did with his brothers. It never came. That’s all you needed to know, you tapped him softly on the snout and smirked. “Nothing, I’ll come back for my baby tomorrow, you just make sure to be in disguise, we're going for a joy ride tomorrow night.” Waving goodbye as you walked out you felt proud. You were gonna put this boy through a ride, “By the way, Don, your really cute, ya’ know that?” His jaw slacked as you walked out, he never thought you’d ever say that to him.

He kinda liked it tho...

Raphael:

Met you through April

Is infatuated with you from the startttt

You are a gymnast

100% a smart ass

100% has a great ass

Casey asks, “can I ask a stupid question?” and you’d respond before you can keep quiet, “better than anyone here”

He finds your flexibility hawt

The boys hate how much he tries to show off when your around

You don’t notice, you think it’s just Raph being Raph

He’s ALWAYS inviting you to workout

LEG DAY every day

You like working on them and Raph doesn’t mind teaching you

You put his flexibility to the test every time

You tried to get along with him

The boys are shook to how well behaved he is with you

April notices how well you take his flirting, if you even notice it

You like how dorky Raph is when you’re alone

That’s when you start having feelings for him

Your gymnasium was closed by the company it was under and you had nowhere to practice

You confessed this to Raph and he noticed you were sad about it

He finished hanging up the last high bar. He knew you were missing the gym you used to practice in. He hoped his brothers wouldn’t notice how much effort it really took him to put it all up, so they wouldn’t accuse him of going soft. He wasn’t going soft, he was just trying to impress you is all. There was no shame in that, right? You were cool and sexy, you didn’t even have to try to look beautiful, you just were. Something April and Raph agreed on multiple occasions.

As you walked into the sewers with a pair of leggings and a form-fitting sweater. Perfect. You walked over to hug your friend and held on tightly to his warm, and he was glad to return it. He led you deeper into the lair and showed you, “well, I know that you miss your old gym, and you can’t find any good ones around here. So I thought you could kick it here until then!”

He pointed towards the hanging bars and gym mats on a far corner of the lair. An old mirror hung a few inches off the ground. You could tell he did his best with what he had. He had even taken the liberty to make a walking bar, the current thing you were struggling on. He listened. He cared. You walked closer to the corner that held the mini gymnasium he had created for you. No one had ever done anything like this for you, how was it possible… that you hadn’t seen it before?

“Oh, Raph… I’m at a loss of words. I can’t believe it!” You basically jumped in his arms when you had turned around. You were unusually giddy at the moment and decided to use it to your advantage. Hugging him tightly, knocking the wind out of him, pulling back in a flash and zooming back in.

…

His eyes were wide open as your cute face and scrunched up nose, and kissed him! He couldn’t believe it! You were kissing him right now! On the exact second that he started kissing back, you pulled away bashfully. Smiling and looking back towards your own personal little gymnasium, “thanks again, Raph.”

He nodded and replied, sorta out of it, “yeah, that was one hell of a thank you for a weird looking fella like me-”

You whipped and around and gasped offendedly, “-don’t you say that Raph, you know you’re beautiful, right?” the last part of the question was asked softly. He shrugged and you laid a hand on his cheek to force him to look at you. “You are Raph, I like you, I have for some time now, don’t turn me away, please.” He looked back up at you incredibly and starred as you smiled at his wild look.

“Alright, I won’t, on one condition. I get another kiss?”, pulling him closer with a hand on his cheek, you pulled him in for another kiss. One that he was actually prepared for, this time.

Michelangelo:

You meet him at a skatepark

He thinks your hawt in biker shorts and retro t-shirts

He obsessed with showing off his moves, just like his older brother

He has a different approach tho

You end up impressing him more tho

He makes jokes and invites you to skating contests

You win a few, but it’s obvious that he knew a lot too

You actually enjoy his company

You find it strange you only see each other at night

You don’t mind it tho because you own a skate-shop

You too love having late-night snacks

He never sits too close to you

The first time he’s afraid of taking a chance at you being afraid of how he looks

You guys take turns bringing snacks

You always buy pizza

You know there’s something weird about his body, but you don’t judge because he’s the absolute sweetest

*SmaCK* Your falling for him

One day, Mikey can’t help but want to be closer, so he has to take that chance

“Awesome, Mikey! Check this out!” You rode towards a staircase hand bar, sliding down and as you jumped off, you flipped your board, landing perfectly on the ground and riding your way back over to him. As you stomped your board back up it snapped. Mikey gasped in pity, “oh no dudette, I’m so sorry.” You shrugged and smiled, “It was a prototype anyway, I’ve got more in my shop.”

You walked towards your beat-up car as you felt Mikey’s face drop, “wicked cool! You make boards?” You chuckled as you turned around and pointed to his board, “you do too, honey.” There was that nickname that drove Mikey through the moon, had him sighing like a lovesick puppy. He followed you to the car with goo-goo eyes.

“Wanna come see my shop?” He practically jumped in excitement, “Would I!” He hopped into the car without a second thought, too sweet to take into consideration that you could see his green skin in the closer proximity. The hunch under his trench coat, the strange shape of his feet, or that his chest and stomach were irregularly flat for a guy with such buffed up arms. As you drove, you turned on the music to make up for the lack of conversation. Not trying to seem awkward, just trying to wrap your head around the fact that Mikey wasn’t human.

He never hurt you before, or ever overstepped his boundaries, he wasn’t a creep, he was funny and cared about you. He cherished the time you spent together, he sent a text every night you were together when you got home to ensure you were safe. It was safe to say that you felt something for Michelangelo but was afraid to fall for a stranger. But was he really a stranger? It wasn’t like you met him yesterday! You had been hanging out for a few months.

You had nothing to fear and so when you walked out of the car you confidently invited him and turned the lights to let him gawk at your boards. “I custom make them, all ya gotta do is put in an order, I fix ‘em up too.” You leaned over your cashier post, admiring the obvious turtle in the light of your store. He was a big sweetheart, he’d never hurt you!

“Dollface, this is amazing! I didn’t know you could make surfboards, and the designs on them are wicked cool!” You agreed, very proud of your work as you walked over. Pressing a hand to his arm, “wanna make one together?” He nodded rapidly like a kid high off of candy. And you knew that his heart was too pure for this world, you laughed and pointed at his jacket.

“Maybe you should take this off and get comfortable!” For a split second, he almost agreed and shed off the oversized coat, but he didn’t want to lose you. You were so cool… “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, dollface.” You rolled your eyes and blew a raspberry, which surprised him. “Mikey, I don’t care what you look like, not like I couldn’t tell under the store lights anyway! You’re beautiful to me, you should know that!” You placed your hand on his chest pushing the coat off his shoulders softly with a smile.

Stunned but flattered he allowed it and leaned forward, feeling a moment creeping on, the coat fell on the floor. A few inches from your face and he was already closing his eyes and puckering out his lips at you, You felt the same energy, but…

You placed a finger on his lips, “You didn’t think it was going to be that easy did you?” He shrugged and grinned, “a guy’s gotta try don’t cha’ think?” You giggled and pecked his cheek. Leading him to the backroom to work on the new board together. Mikey wasn’t going to let you focus too much for too long though. He would get that kiss!

~~~~~~~~~

remember! if you really enjoed the donatello scenario, reblog for a oneshot!

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himbowelsh · 4 years

Note

Well now I need touch starved Liebgott something! I always imagined Webgott to work the other way around. Y'know Web being unused to hugs and Lieb having no sense of boundaries. But I'm really intrigued by a concept of switching it up.

hello i’m in tears bc this took so long to write, but... enjoy an extremely touch-hangry boi. be warned, for copious amounts of obscenely soft cuddling.

Long story short, it goes like this.

David’s just finished an article, two hours ahead of the frankly unreasonable deadline sent by his editor; he collapses on the couch, promptly kicks his sock-clad feet up on the coffee table, and slumps against Joe’s side.

Joe goes very still.

At first, David thinks it’s because of his feet. Joe can be weird about things like that; he values cleanliness, and “not acting like fuckin’ animals in the house, Jesus, Web”. All the things David was never allowed to do growing up in his family’s Manhattan penthouse --- like leave dishes out or discard his clothes in messy piles --- are exactly the sort of things that drive Joe insane. He kind of relishes doing them, just to see the twitch Joe gets by his eye, and for the way he grips his hips roughly when he growls at him to “quit leaving your shit everywhere”. David’s natural sloppiness leaves Joe needing an outlet for his frustration… and their shared bedroom is kept very clean. It works out great for both parties.

So, sure, it’s probably just the feet on the table… he thinks for a grand total of eight seconds, before looking up to catch Joe’s eye.

His boyfriend’s gaze has gone impossible soft. It takes David’s breath away, a little, because Joe isn’t like that as a rule. He’s sharp edges and broken glass, jagged teeth and bladed grins. He’s harsh as sandpaper and smooth as steel. He’s frustrating, and his gentle moments come and go like fickle summer storms.

To be fair, impromptu cuddling on the couch isn’t like them either… but David needs it tonight, and stepping outside the bounds of their normal relationship can’t be the worst crime in the world. He holds Joe’s gaze for a moment, questioning and careful… but, instead of pulling away, Joe just takes a moment before sighing. His arm wraps around David’s shoulders, pulling him close.

“Rough night, Web?” he asks, an undercurrent of implication in his voice. This ain’t like you. You alright?

“You have no idea.” David rests his stubbled cheek against Joe’s chest, sighing deeply as the tension slowly drains from his muscles. Joe is hesitant to react; his actions, even as he rubs up and down David’s shoulder, lack his usual fearlessness. Joe can grab his ass in the middle of a crowded bar, or ruffle his curls just to get on his nerves… but this casual intimacy is uncharted territory for him.

He needs a distraction from his own head. David’s got just the thing. “How would you,” he sighs, “like to hear about the plight of Heteractis anemone? Because I just wrote four thousand words on it.”

“Heter— huh.” Joe sighs into the crown of his head, ruffling his curls. “Pretty sure Guarnere caught that once.”

“Knowing him, he’s still got it,” David replies. When Joe laughs, it reverberates in his chest, a low rumble in David’s ear.

“Yeah, alright, Web. Tell me all ‘bout your anemoles.”

“Anemone.”

“Yeah, what’d I say?” Joe presses his grin into David’s hair. “Amenemes.”

“Anemo-- damn it,” he mutters, burying the words against his boyfriend’s chest. Joe laughs even harder… and, like it or not, the sound it a balm to David’s frayed nerves. Even better are the strong arms which wrap around him, fully encompassing his shoulders and pulling him against Joe’s body. It’s… more than he was anticipating, more than they probably need, but it feels nice, and he doesn’t want to pull away. David melts against him, curling his legs with Joe and letting himself drift off. Fingers card gently through his hair; his boyfriend’s warm breath caresses his temple… and being this close feels so good that he forgets to remember it isn’t ordinary at all.

If he looked up at that exact moment, he might have found Joe enjoying it even more than he was… but David, as usual, preferred to sail away.

-------------------------------------

That really should have been the end of it… but after their night of unexpected intimacy, it’s like a dam has broken.

Joe does it at unexpected moments. While David is flipping pancakes in the kitchen, he comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist, chin looping over his shoulder. They just sort of… stay there. David is so surprised that he ends up charring the pancake, which Joe eats anyways, because he’d inhale charcoal if he was hungry enough… but while his boyfriend is wolfing blackened pancake lumps down his throat, no explanation is offered. David doesn’t know how to ask.

He’s brushing his teeth; Joe comes up behind him and holds his hips, just staying there for a few minutes. He’s reading a book in bed; Joe lies down, curling into his side like an automatic reflex. They’re watching whatever B-rated action flick Joe just insisted on going to see at the Cineplex, and Joe holds his hand the entire time.

Calling it strange is an understatement. It’s fucking bizarre.

Which isn’t to say Joe’s been shy about physical contact before, because he hasn’t. He’s just always been measured with it. Joe doesn’t hold back from touching people, grasping their shoulders or clapping them on the back… but he never goes overboard with it. His touches don’t linger. He’s a handsy person by nature, but David never considered before that he weighs every touch before giving them out.

If that’s the case, what’s changed? Why has he suddenly become so free — even apparently craving — touches he’s never asked for before?

David doesn’t know much about the scientific method, but any good journalist can test a hypothesis as well as a lab tech. Early one night, before either of them have gone to bed, he sits down next to Joe on the couch and sets the remote in his boyfriend’s lap.

“Anything but reality TV,” is all he says, and Joe smirks as he turns the station to some late night show.

He’s paying attention; David is not. Instead, his attention is fixed firmly on Joe, not even trying to hide it. The curve of his profile, the shadows along his neck and collar, the way he always lounges when he sits… like he’s trying to take up as much space as possible. Something about him seems inexplicably, undeniably lonely.

David leans over and wraps an arm around Joe’s shoulders. The reaction is expected; Joe goes tense, like he’s trying to figure out what the hell is going on. David counts back in his head: ten… nine… eight… seven…

Before he gets to five, Joe’s relaxed into him. Easy as that — it’s like teaching a puppy to eat food, or a baby to cry. Joe and touch go together like authors and caffeine. Touching is easy for him, but being touched is the most natural thing in the world.

A flame kindles to life within David’s chest, and soon it’s warming him from the inside out. He can’t keep a fond smile from his lips. After a moment, his hand strays up to Joe’s hair, threading gently through the well-maintained strands. Joe’s always had a weakness for having his hair touched, and tonight is no exception. He makes a tiny, content noise and leans into David, the tension slowly draining from his body. It doesn’t take long before he’s leaning against him, head balanced against David’s chest. Arms still around him, David holds Joe tenderly, caressing his hair while occasionally pressing kisses to the crown of his head. Joe’s heartbeat is steady, his muscles lax. David charts the gentle rhythm of his breathing until he’s sure his boyfriend has dropped off to sleep.

When he looks down, a wave of tenderness washes over him. Joe Liebgott with every guard down is a thing to see. He so rarely looks peaceful. There’s something restless about Joe, a relentless hunger thrumming just beneath his skin, determined to break free. He’s always had an edge of urgency to him… but now, dozing against David’s chest, he looks without a care in the world.

He ought to be this way all the time. He deserves to be happy all the time. God help him, if David has any say in it, Joe will be.

“Is it my birthday or something?” Joe asks, when David, completely unprompted, begins massaging his shoulders. “Shit, don’t tell me I’m another year older and just forgot.”

“Not for another few months, old man,” David replies. On reflex, Joe tries to twist and grab him, but David’s massage doesn’t let up; after a minute, he relaxes into it, slumping further back against David’s chest.

“You been acting weird lately,” Joe declares — as though David needs to be good, and as though he wasn’t the one acting weird to begin with. “Everything fine at work? You didn’t… gamble away our savings to the mafia, or promise Sobel our firstborn kid or something? If you got news for me, Web, I can take it without a bonus massage.”

“Why do you think — wait, we’re going to have kids?”

“Head in the game, Web. What’s going on?”

At once, he’s glad Joe is facing the other way, because David’s not sure what he could say otherwise. He frowns at Joe’s back muscles, kneading into them with a bit more force than necessary. Sure, he’s been… more physically affectionate these days. Joe no longer has to seek it out, because he gives it willingly… and even if touch doesn’t come naturally to David, the obvious way Joe eats it up when his touches linger in public or they draw close to each other in private makes it all worthwhile. Joe seems happier nowadays, so clearly it’s working fine.

Why’s he getting interrogated now?

“Am I not allowed to touch you?” he asks. “Just because I want to touch?”

“You ain’t a touchy-feely person. Never have been.”

“People change.”

“Not you.” Joe’s observation is too neutral for David to justify flaring up at it. “Come on, Web. What’s going on?”

He’s silent for a long moment before summoning a reply. “I want you to be happy,” he declares, finishing off Joe’s back massage with a caress of his neck. “I want you… to feel loved.”

Joe is silent for a beat before turning his head to look back at him. “That’s all, huh?”

“Yeah,” David huffs. “That’s all.”

It’s hard to make out Joe’s expression when one half of his face is cast into shadow, but David spots the amusement in his eyes… and something else, too, something softer that he can’t put his finger on. It sparks a familiar warmth in his chest, and he smiles.

“Well, don’t stop on my account,” Joe sighs. There’s no warning before he’s leaning back against David’s chest, but David’s ready this time. He opens his arms, embracing him as they go. Slowly, Joe relaxes into the comfort of his touch, and the world feels a little warmer.

#webgott #david webster #joe liebgott #joseph liebgott #my writing #Anonymous

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happyhemostudies · 4 years

Text

ochem (study tips & tricks)

Hi there! Long time no see. I am officially through my first term of organic chemistry (out of three), and I have gained some tips & tricks to make it a little bit more manageable! (I got a B, and I know that some people on studyblr are happier with an A but a B in my first upper division science is more than I was expecting so I’m happy about it!)

Get a molecular modeling kit!

The beginning portions of ochem ask you to understand nomenclature (naming), functional groups, isomers, and stereochemistry. Functional groups are what I feel like you could maybe muscle your way through without ever seeing it in 3D but for everything else, make sure you use a model! It helps tremendously when you’re trying to learn what molecules look like in space. I lost mine in a box halfway through the term (at the beginning of isomers, rip me) and felt so lost with stereochemistry until I found it again. Make mini models of all your functional groups and learn what they look like. Make cis & trans models. Do what my friends and I did and stick random things together and learn how to name them properly. I got mine from Amazon for about $12 and it was worth every penny.

Preview notes/book before class.

If you’ve ever met me, you know that I’m full of anxiety and hate reading before class because I get anxious when I realize I have no idea what I’m reading. Don’t be me! Realize that reading beforehand can only help you solidify your understanding when you relearn it in lecture! It is totally okay to not know it while you’re reading as you’ve obviously never learned it before. This comes in super helpful because there’s a lot to cover in lecture, lots of diagrams and molecules to draw, and you likely won’t have enough time to write out all of the good book-type words you want to know too.

Watch additional videos.

I would like to tell you the wonders of videos for ochem. Since it’s such a visual course, it is SO much more helpful to learn from a video than a book! Honorable mention for @ TheOrganicChemistryTutor and other ochem videos on YouTube, but the real shoutout goes to @ Leah4Sci on YouTube and at leah4sci.com As my lab partner texted me at 1:14 am the morning of our second exam, “This woman is a godsend.”

Study with a group (and a whiteboard!)

In gen chem I made an awesome group of friends who now suffer through ochem alongside me. You would not believe how helpful it is to study with them, explain hard concepts, and work out problems with other people. We reserve a room in our science library and get to working out problems on whiteboards. Highly highly recommend. Especially if you can reserve a room once a week to go over the week’s materials.

Use colors in your notes.

One of my best friends writes her notes in strictly pencil and as a pen gal, it hurts a little. I cannot keep track of anything at all if it’s written in one color and I smudge pencil really badly as a left-handed human. So, I write in pen and make sure that I have at least a highlighter and one colored pen on hand. The highlighter is to highlight important concepts and circle my nucleophile and electrophile at the beginning and ending of a reaction. The colored pen is to track electron flow.

Attend (and try to enjoy) lab if you’re taking it alongside lecture.

My lab partner is lowkey the best frat boy I have ever met and has always made sure that I don’t have to fly solo in lab like other lab partners have made me do, leaving me with all the work. About half way through the term we no longer worked with partners but we worked together during lab if one of us got stuck and would work on post-lab reports together because the questions were always insane. Lab is an amazing break from lecture and a wonderful way to apply what you’re learning. You’ll also meet a bunch of cool people in lab, and I highly suggest forming study groups with your lab partner or lab bench as you spend so much time together every week.

Make a second notebook specifically for ochem!

You know how some people manage to make super beautiful notes during class? And if you’re anything like me you’re trying but mostly just scrambling to write down everything? If this rings true to you just know that I wholeheartedly get you. This is your chance to make your notes insanely pretty or colorful while also reviewing! I bought a composition notebook and I take about 2-3 pages to explain ONLY the important stuff from each chapter. This is my “cheat sheet” going into the test and you’ll usually find me looking over it the morning of my exams (because my exams are at 9am :( it’s rough out here).

Hope this helps! Best of luck to those starting ochem and best of luck to those continuing on into their next term/semester of ochem.

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 5 years

Text

Even if it hurts, pt.2

Summary: It’s been two years since their horror ended. But when Ethan receives a call that his girl has been rushed to the hospital, he comes running.

Warnings: none really, talk about sex, some fluff, swearing

Word count: 1500

Even if it hurts (Gang AU)

Ethan and Y/N were going strong, two years without a glitch. A criminal defense lawyer and a man suspected of being the leader of a formidable gang – the irony wasn't lost on anyone as the news reported on them daily.

However, they didn't give it a second thought. Each of them did their thing, enjoying the time they spent together, especially since Y/N moved in with Ethan at their one year mark.

Happy. That's how Ethan would describe himself by her side. Perhaps for the first time in his life.

Until Ethan got a call.

„Boss, you gotta get down here!“ Jeremy, one of his men shouted on the line, frantic from the sound of it. And usually Ethan would just roll his eyes and click his tongue, letting the man speak before he chews him out for being a drama queen and giving him orders on how to behave or what to do, but not today.

While he kept his nose clean and no one could trace his crimes back to him, one of Ethan's men messed up. Jeremy completely messed up and got himself caught and his beautiful, stubborn fiance decided to be his lawyer, which meant she is with him and if she isn't the one calling, well it didn't go over well with Ethan. It meant trouble. It meant she was somehow stopped from doing so and it made Ethan's heart drop.

„Where?“ He asks, already grabbing his suit jacket and running out to his BMW.

„That hospital near the courtroom!“ Jeremy's voice cracks, realizing he's now got more than one problem at hand for the issues with the law were nothing in comparison to his boss who was known to be a ruthless man, unforgiving, and while he was merciful so far, Jeremy knew his luck is running out. Especially when he takes in consideration how fierce his boss is when it comes to Y/N. There isn’t a thing he wouldn’t do to protect his girl.

Everyone in the gang knew that.

Everyone in the world knew that and none dared to test his patience.

„Fuck's sake, what happened?!“ Ethan's gruff voice made Jeremy shake in his seat in the waiting room. Ethan drove fast, breaking speed limits while ignoring the lingering scent of her vanilla scented perfume in his car.

„I don't know boss! She just fainted after the closing argument!“

Ethan only pressed harder on the gas, throwing the phone to the passenger's seat, feeling as if he might faint as well. He knew his Y/N is not a fainter. Heck, she prides herself on never fainting in her life because 'I am not faint of heart, Ethan' or the type to even cry or do things many women do. She's his strong little camper, his perfection with all the little flaws he loves about her that make their fights insane.

That's why their fights are like losing your mind, fire on fire. But the making up always makes it worth it.

Rushing inside, he pushed through people until he reached his terrified soldier, grabbing him by the shoulders as he leaned down to get into his face, Ethan's murky eyes intimidatingly glaring at him.

„Point me to someone you've seen work on her.“ The poor man points at a doctor who just walked out from behind closed doors, redirecting this Ethan shaped hurricane toward someone else.

„Excuse me, doctor! My name is Ethan Dolan and I am here for Y/N Y/L/N. I've been informed she's been admitted.“ Using his cool, slightly darker tone, Ethan kept up the image of a proper business man and someone who isn't about two seconds from drawing a gun and shooting at anyone who stops him from seeing his dear Y/N, the light of his life.

„Ah, yes. Right this way, Mr. Dolan.“ The doctor didn't seem phased at all, leading Ethan inside and to a room where Y/N laid on a table, another doctor with her.

What shocked Ethan wasn't the fact that his girl is paler than usual or the dry saliva at the corners of her red painted lips, but the monitor next to her head that continued to beat so fast, so frantically he swore his own heart stopped for a moment in order to hear the sound clearer.

„Ethan.“ She breathes his name out, her arm outstretched and her hand open for him to take.

Slowly, he steps inside, clearly frazzled and unsure of what he just walked in on despite it being pretty obvious.

„Oh, so this is the dad?“ The other doctor smiled, sparing Ethan a glance before returning her laser focused eyes on the screen beside Y/N's head.

„Dad?“ Ethan croaks out, his eyes flickering from the screen to Y/N's pretty face that painted her emotions so clearly he knew she was freaked out as well. But no, he wasn't really freaked out, rather surprised. Maybe even a little shocked, but not freaked out. He always wanted more with Y/N and while they were a few weeks from the date of their wedding, this little surprise fit in perfectly with the future he envisioned for them.

„Say something.“ Y/N's fingers intertwine with his, applying light pressure for Ethan to use as an anchor to reality.

„I'm just wondering which room we can convert to be a nursery.“ Ethan's lips crack into a smile until a wide, shit-eating grin takes over and his eyes light up so much so Y/N was sure he had sunshine break through as the murky brown made place for a deep hazel.

„Oh, God. You're not freaking out at all? Cause I am!“ Y/N exclaimed, pointing to the screen.

„I have a parasite!“ Her exasperation only made Ethan chuckle loudly, clutching his stomach with his free hand as he struggled to stop himself.

„Ethan Grant Dolan, I am seriously scared, this isn't a laughing matter!“ She couldn't keep a straight face no matter how serious she tried to seem, her own giggles joining his while the doctor watched them fondly, knowing they will be just fine.

„Everything seems in order. I'd say you're already ten weeks in and the baby looks good, strong. I'll go check your labs and we can talk more about prenatal care and anything you're confused about, okay?“ Excusing herself, the doctor left them alone to talk more, feeling they might need it.

But they barely talked as Ethan just leaned in, pressing his lips on her forehead and down to her lips, resting his forehead on hers.

„You scared me shitless today.“ He whispers, his hand atop her head as he languidly moved her hair back, soothing her.

„I got scared more than once. Ethan, we never even talked about kids.“ Detecting traces of despair, Ethan frowned, lifting his head slightly to hover above hers.

„I know we didn't, but this kid has two badass parents and while it's not exactly planned, I am over the moon. You're giving me a family I lost so long ago. I couldn't be happier and more grateful.“ The smile painted on his lips was enough to convince her heart to settle down, to ease up on worrying and just enjoy having a small miracle inside her.

„I still can't believe we ended up together.“ She chuckled, placing a hand on his cheek as if she's checking he's real and with her.

„I still can't believe you keep tolerating my shit. I always thought you'd take a peak behind the curtain and run, but you're still here and more than that! You actually have a piece of me inside you. You have two of my hearts now.“ He sighed in content, angling his head so he can kiss the hand on his cheek, watching her lips stretch into a smile.

„So...ten weeks...Guess that little bathroom visit we paid your jet was what caused this, huh?“ Ethan chuckled, nodding.

„Or the time I came to your office?“

„And then came inside my office.“ Y/N laughs, winking, lightly slapping his shoulder. They share a look, one of those looks that make your breath halt in your throat and your heart skip three beats at once and your mind stop working entirely - soulmate kind of a look.

“Maybe we can name the baby Grayson if it’s a boy? Or Eliza if she’s a girl and we could call her Lisa?” Y/N starts, but Ethan’s heart soared in that moment, realizing how incredibly lucky he is. So, instead of being considerate and letting her speak, he interrupts her in his own way.

„God, I love you.“ Ethan connects their lips, wanting nothing more than try their luck and bury himself deep inside her, but he refused to let go of his reigns, wanting his girl to rest up and get back her strength before he fucked her senseless.

„I have your labs. Oh!“ The doctor stopped at the door, watching the pair separate, Y/N giggling awkwardly while Ethan rubs the back of his neck with a coy smile.

Their road ahead was certainly an adventure, one many wanted to know all about, but none truly guessed what happened behind closed doors. The love they had for each other only grew, as did their little family.

Tags: @xalayx @fallinginlove-16 @accalialionheart @heeydolan @heyits-claire @notanotherdolantwinsblog @godlydolans @ethanhes @dolandolll @dolanstwintuesday

#ethan dolan #ethan dolan x reader #dolan twins #ethan dolan gang au #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan fluff #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan fic #ethan dolan au #dolan twins au

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luving-hanni · 5 years

Text

A Hotel Room

Title: A Hotel Room (Mingyu Husband!AU) Pairing: Mingyu x Female Reader Genre: Smut Warning: Oral and manual sex, penetration, dry humping, fingering, teasing….. Edging (?? idk) sex in general. Word Count: ~950 Comments: Hey, your neighborhood fanfic writer who is definitely not qualified to do do this. I love the idea of being married (god bless that lucky soul).I really don’t feel this will be super husband-y, but i’ll try. I hope you enjoy my more full out smut fanfic writing attempt. update: GUYS I WROTE SO MUCH!!

You’ve been dating to this wonderful young man named Mingyu for nearly 4 years. Mingyu was in your Biology 101 class during your first semester of college. He was a year ahead of you. You couldn’t believe that you were lab partners with him. You quickly became best friends after lab ended and there was a special spark between the two of you. At the beginning of your relationship, you had wild crazy sex with him every night (i mean, look at him), but things have calmed down to about once a week. Now you were getting married. It was time for nice married sex.

Anyway, it was your honeymoon. During your wedding ceremony, Mingyu vowed to the 2/2/2 rule; every two weeks, you go out on a nice date, every two months, you go on a small weekend getaway and every two years, you take a big trip with him. Since it was your honeymoon, you knew another big trip is two years away. This was was your first big trip with your husband. Doesn’t that have a nice ring to it: husband. You have always wanted to go to a big city far away. Mingyu, being the best boyfriend, now husband, ever quickly made this happen. After all, the both of you were taking a break before starting your Master’s together. College was tiring and you wanted to live your lives a little bit.

[ In a City Hotel Room ]

After arriving to the city, you check into your hotel. Soon after dumping your stuff, he wrapped his arms around you, and began feeling you up. “Mingyu sweetheart! Aren’t you tired from the plane ride?” you giggled as his hands began to roam your body. He loved your back and stomach. Those were the most sensitive non sexual spots on your body. You felt something ignite within your gut. Mingyu, busy untucking your shirt replied “yeah, but not too tired that I can’t show you how much I love you… wifey.” Soon you were shirtless and began to help undress him. The boy was tall and he always enjoyed seeing you help undress him… mainly because you could never get his shirt off. Good thing pants are just as good. Also, being married, it was different. Sex wasn’t as often and now it was more meaningful. Sometimes you missed the spontaneous fun sex.

As you quickly worked on getting his pants down, you can see him growing hard in his boxers. It really didn’t take much to get this boy excited. It has always been, give him on passionate kiss and he was ready for some fun. Before taking them off, you places your hand on his hardness. “Y/N” he said as he grunted and sighed. “Yeah?” You replied, rising and eyebrow at him “does this feel good?” Mingyu quickly nodded before picking you up and placing you on the bed. You continued to rub his hardness. He groaned and threw his head back with pleasure. The sight of him was enough to turn you on, but you refrained from doing anything.

His hands guided to you sitting on top of him. You slowly began to grind your hips on him which drove him absolutely insane. His grabbed you hip with one hand and started to squeeze one of your boobs. If you weren’t wet enough, now you were plenty slippery. Pausing, you stopped grinding on him and started to make out like how you did when you first started to date- wet, sloppy, yet slow.

As you began to kiss, you felt a hand leave your hip and play with the elastic on your pants. He quickly pushed his hand into your wetness. Starting with small circles, he gently played with you. As your moans grew, Mingyu’s finger went quicker and quicker. One, then two, rubbing your cl*t. This drove you crazy. He was just as happier to hear you be loud. It was nearly enough for him to cum. You quickly took off your panties (i hate the word panties.. Why did i just use it???) and he did the same. Tossed them aside, you moved down on him and started licking his hardness. He was in heaven.

He helped you by thrusting gently into your mouth. By now, you knew how to go down on to make him happy and how not to make yourself gag. With each moan, louder than the one before, you knew he was close. Right before he came, you stopped. You repeated his several times. “wifeyyy, why do you... torture meee? he wined, but you continued to lick down his length. He was fed up and quickly told you get on all fours. You got on all fours and prepared yourself. You forgot to pack condoms. Thankfully, you had an IUD and didn’t have to worry about pregnancy.

He positioned himself and inserted his length. It felt full against your walls and he groaned too. It hurt since you haven’t had sex in a while. You moaned and he knew it wasn’t the usual. “Are you okay?? I’ll go slow” Mingyu asked as he tried his best to hold himself back. After a slow few thrust, he quickened up. The hotel room filled with heavy breathing and moans. He went harder as he reached his climax. He loved when you came with him so he slipped a finder over your cl*t again. Rubbing to match his thrust. “babe…. i’m about.. to” you said between heaving breaths and moans. You grabbed his back as you climaxed together.

Out of breath, you beat him to the bathroom to pee and threw on his shirt. He opened the door as you were washing your hands. He walked by and slapped your exposed behind. He hasn’t done that since you’ve been married. You giggled and said “I thought you outgrew that.”

Jet lagged and all sexed out, you climbed into the bed and passed out. It wasn’t until 2 am when you both waked up and decided to go at it again.

[ending comments] I have no idea how to write anything. yeah, i didn’t even proof read this......it wasn’t super husband-y other than it’s married sex…. on a honeymoon. Idk. I’ll write a fluff to this!! oOOooOo A PART 2!!! Sorry anon if this isn't exactly you had in mind.I hope you enjoyed it anyway :)

#seventeen mingyu #mingyu #seventeen smut #mingyu smut #kim mingyu #mingyu fanfic #seventeen fanfic

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flashingcursor · 5 years

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Fic: Tell Me You’re Joking

Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Loki Rating: Teen. Warnings: No powers AU. Word Count: 3,994 Square Filled: Blind Date. Summary: Darcy and Loki haven’t had a date in a while for various reasons. Jane and Thor think they’d be perfect together so they set them up. A/N: @marvelfluffbingo Alright so like with my last bingo card I thought I’d kick things off with some Tasertricks. Ironically, anonymous had prompted Tasertricks - Blind date in my ask around summer 2018 when I last opened my ask to prompts. So why not? This also serves as a fill for my fluffbingo card on Dreamwidth with the prompt first date. I got a three in one hit go me. Somehow in the writing of this oneshot and AU, Darcy became Tony Stark’s daughter. Which is a trope I kind of dig in Darcyland, I just never had a story that lent well to that particular line of thought.

Fill for my First Date prompt on my Fluff Bingo Card. Marvel Fluff Bingo Masterlist Read on AO3

“Please tell me you’re joking?” Darcy bursts when Jane finishes.

“What do you mean?” Jane asks with a confused look for her friend's disbelieving response.

“You set me up?” The intern starts, “On a blind date with your boyfriend’s younger brother?” The disdain drips from her voice as she enunciates each word.

She loves Jane don’t get her wrong. Loves that the astrophysicist is happy with her hulking blond beefcake of a man. He helps drag Jane from the lab at decent hours, though both have terrible eating habits no matter what happens. Both her and Thor are all too content to live on processed sugar and coffee and it makes Darcy’s stomach churn at the thought.

“When you say it like that it actually sounds sort of bad. But he’s exactly your type and you’ve both been having terrible luck on the dating front.”

Darcy raises an eyebrow at her friend. “Terrible luck on the dating front?” She says the words slowly, maybe they would sink in for the older woman on the other side of the lab.

“You can’t tell me Ian was a good idea in retrospect,” Jane breathes putting her work aside for the first time in the whole conversation, her work forgotten. Boss lady wasn’t going to like that she was going to need to rerun the model she set up, but it serves her right for dropping a bomb like this on Darcy.

“Not the point. Maybe I’m happy in singletown right now.”

“Are you happy in ‘singletown’?” The air quotes clear in her voice.

“Happier in singletown than I will be on that date you set up for me.”

“Just go, give it a try. If you don’t enjoy yourself, I will let you boss me into eating and sleeping without complaint.”

Darcy raises an eyebrow at her, “Can I have that in writing?”

“Brother, I have wonderful news,” Thor boasts entering the library in their family estate.

Loki places his thumb between the pages of the book he was reading and glances toward his older brother and eyebrow raised in question. Thor had a hard time keeping things to himself when he was in such an exuberant mood. If he didn’t say anything and just let him speak, his brother would explain why he was so pleased with himself.

“You aren’t going to ask me what it is?” Thor asks when the silence stretches too long.

“You asked Jane to marry you and she said yes,” Loki responds flatly.

“Not yet, but mother helped me secure reservations for dinner next month at The Skyline.” Thor’s shoulders droop a little that Loki would think he’d jump so far ahead of himself when there was still so much to plan for the proposal. Shaking his head, he smiles at the slim dark-haired young man waiting.

The younger son of Odin can feel a headache forming. His brother can be a bit dense at the best of times. He was also capable of sharing the intelligence of a rock at the worst. But in the years since childhood and the transition into adulthood, Thor had grown greatly. His selfishness tempered, his cruelty near entirely erased after Odin nearly cut him off two years ago. For almost two years Thor had to live like the average citizens of the United States and find a way to make it work. It had done wonders for his older brothers’ temperament, he’d even gained a surprising amount of wisdom.

“Shall I start guessing then?” he asks replacing his thumb with a bookmark and setting the book on the coffee table, his expression bland. He’s glad Thor is so happy in his relationship with Dr. Jane Foster. As it is he’s still amazed the woman has managed to outlast Sif’s passive-aggressive attempts to drive her away and their mother’s false sweetness in the early months of their courtship.

“No need. You have a date in a week with Jane’s best friend.” Thor explains looking pleased with this development.

Loki blinks owlishly at the hulking at his brother, a date? With Jane’s best friend?

“And I am to do what exactly?” He wishes he could summon the energy to be annoyed, all he can summon, however; is bewilderment. HIs happy self-centered to a fault brother was setting him up with his girlfriends closest friend.

“Go on a date,” Thor says it slowly as if the meaning is obvious.

“No.”

“Brother, please!”

“I said no. I have no interest in having my older brother find me dates. I’m perfectly capable of doing it on my own.”

He doesn’t wait for Thor to try to convince him, Loki sweeps by him intending to leave the library. Instead of walking past as he normally would though, Thor catches his wrist and pulls him up short. His eyebrows raised at Loki's claim as if to say they both knew his words for the lie it is. Not that he would say as much aloud after his time away.

“Just meet the girl. If it doesn’t work out, you’re free to leave.” Thor gives him his best beseeching look and Loki’s frown deepens. Like their father, he doesn’t explain why it is so important that he go on the date. Knowing the happy couple, he was likely to be Thor’s best man at the wedding and if she is as close to Jane as Thor says, she’d be the maid of honor. Pinching the bridge of his nose and inhales deeply, he is in no mood for the lovebirds playing matchmaker.

He might be known for spinning tales and crafty stories to get what he wanted or manipulate others, but he had nothing on Thor’s earnest manipulations. The way he made you want to do what he was asking because it would do nothing more than make him happy. It worked best on their mother and Sif, and Loki had thought he’d long ago grown immune to the look. Apparently, that was not the case as he sighs.

“Fine. Where am I to meet this girl?”

Thor beams as he rattles off the address for a chain restaurant that skirted the line of middle-class fancy and casual and Loki wonders if he just agreed to some horrible punishment for some prank Thor finally realized he pulled. His green eyes narrow at his brother. He looks far too pleased with his acquiescence to the request. That never bodes well in the long term.

"If you think I’m going to like her you’re sorely mistaken.” Loki snaps.

“Of course, I would never think such a thing. I just wish to see you have a good time away from your books for one evening.” Thor agrees his mouth spread into an amused grin as he walks away, hands folded behind his back.

In the end, Jane does put their agreement in writing, Darcy will have free reign in determining the length of lab activities for a week if she doesn’t have a good time on her blind date. Once the agreement is carefully filed away in Darcy’s shoulder bag, she tilts her head at Jane.

“So how am I going to know his brother from every other Joe Schmoo in the place?” She asks.

She made it a rule when Thor and Jane started dating that she wasn’t allowed to google anything about Thor’s family. The general idea is that if she didn’t look them up in the media, she would be able to develop an opinion of the hulking blond that made her friend blush like a school girl on a regular basis. For the most part, that rule has worked perfectly well for Darcy. Overall, she finds Thor to be a good guy, a little goofy, somewhat ridiculous, and very larger than life in attitude and action, but a good guy.

“I forgot you haven’t seen a family photo. I’ll get back to you on that.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve a rose and a favorite book, I will probably be okay with it,” she flips through a few pages of notes only half seeing the scribbled contents, “And just how fancy is this place going to be? Like do I need to buy a new dress for the occasion or is the black number I wear to faculty cocktail parties going to be fine?”

Jane makes a vague grunt of acknowledgment which means she’s already back in work mode. Sighing Darcy settles in for long hours of transcription and data entry. Her friend would get back to her eventually. As things stand now she's leaning toward her black cocktail dress. Knowing Jane and Thor they were going somewhere nice but also low-key. Her cocktail dress was perfect.

A week after agreeing to the insane idea of taking Jane’s best friend to dinner, Loki pauses in his research to find a slew of texts waiting for him on his cell phone. The notification light flashing a brilliant green demanding his attention. Giving up on ignoring it, he picks up his phone and checks his texts. All of them from his brother.

How would you prefer Darcy recognize you? Brother? Loki are you there? Loki this isn’t funny.

Sighing heavily Loki pinches the bridge of his nose. Did no one respect the workload of a Ph.D. student? He had work to do, there wasn’t time to be discussing how he was going to reveal himself to Darcy. The entire date wasn’t important enough to warrant so much of his attention. Frustrated that Thor was so insistent about the whole thing, Loki responds with the first thing that comes to mind.

I’ll bring her a rose and one of my books. At least if it turns out to be terrible, I can get some work done.

Perhaps something else? She explicitly said she would prefer not to have such items used to identify you.

Then maybe she should pick how I’ll identify her.

Jane says she’ll be wearing a black cocktail dress and a gold necklace with a jade pendant.

The colors catch Loki’s attention. He’s always preferred black, gold, and green. At that thought his eyes narrow at his cell phone. His long fingers typing out another message to his brother.

Did you tell Jane what colors Darcy should wear?

No.

Truth.

I did not. She picked them herself.

For a moment he stares at his phone unsure of what to say. She picked those colors herself. No coaching. It could mean she liked them herself, it wouldn’t be strange. Plenty of people liked those colors together. But it felt too pointed to be natural. Not that it stopped him from trying to visualize what she would look like in them.

Very well. Tell Jane I’ll meet Darcy out front at 7 pm sharp.

Of course.

He can almost hear Thor’s pleasure in those two words, and it makes him scowl as he returns to his work. Twenty-four hours to go and he would find out just what made his brother think this girl would be a good match for him. And probably prove how wrong he was.

On the day of the date, Jane somehow manages to wrap up on her own. She nearly forces Darcy from the lab, with some half-baked excuse that she had dinner plans with Thor that she couldn’t miss. The harried actions and the way she wouldn’t meet Darcy’s eyes when she asked why she hadn’t told her about this date spoke volumes. Jane wanted her out of the lab and getting ready for her date. Heaving a heavy sigh, Darcy packs up more to humor her friend than over any excitement for her approaching date.

The actual process of getting ready seems to drag by. Setting up your friends on blind dates when they aren’t actively looking for someone to date takes all of the fun out of getting ready. The usual excitement missing, there are no flutters in her stomach making the whole process robotic and she finishes a full hour before she needs to leave. It’s enough to make Darcy think she shouldn’t get excited about dates at all if it makes her hair and make-up cooperate for once.

Her hair styled into careful waves over her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes rimmed in thick black lines of eyeliner that wing at the outer corners of her eyes. She's looking fine if Darcy does say so herself.

She paces her apartment after that. Thumbnail between her teeth as she attempts to reign in the desire to chew on the nail. Her frustration with the whole situation serving to make her stomach twist. Not helping.

Going into the kitchen she gets a glass and pulls a bottle of ginger ale from the fridge.

“I could stay home, tell Jane I got sick.” She mutters to herself as she fills the glass halfway with the soda. Her eyes flicking to the amber liquid in thought. It wouldn’t be a complete lie if she texted right now. She did feel terrible and it wasn’t nerves.

Taking a sip, she leans a hip against the counter, “If I do blow him off I’ll never hear the end of it.”

God, she was losing it if she was debating herself in her kitchen. Draining the glass, she sets it down and goes to get her purse. If she has time to act like a crazy person, she has time to leave and give it a try. She has an agreement to enforce, and she's looking forward to bossing Jane around for thinking she needs help getting a date.

Pulling out her phone she pulls up the messaging app.

Call me fifteen minutes into the date to give me a convenient out. I will not forgive you if you don’t.

You sure about that kid?

Very.

How will I know you don’t need it?

I won’t answer.

Fair enough.

Satisfied that her “dad” would help for once, she shoves her phone back into her purse and leaves. It was better than the endless memes he sent about the blind date for the last week. She doesn’t know how Pepper puts up with him sometimes, but she gives the woman credit for it every day. That woman is a god damn saint in Darcy’s book.

Loki sweeps across the sidewalk outside the restaurant for the fifth time. She’s late. He’s watched no less than fifteen couples go inside and six different women. None of them wearing a black cocktail dress with a gold necklace and jade pendant. He swears if she stands him up after he actually showed up (with minimal cajoling from his brother at that), he is going to be livid.

“If you’re Loki I deserve a refund just for showing up,” a voice states with a click of heels.

“You’re late,” he shoots back as he turns to look at the speaker.

He isn’t struck by her beauty. Nothing so mundane. She’s pretty, she put effort into her hair and make-up. She’s shorter than he imagined given his brother's stories, but the heels help close the otherwise large gap in their height. Her necklace rests peacefully on her chest the jade pendant stopping just above her ample cleavage. His gaze quickly shifts up before she can correct him. Something about the way she’s standing with hand on jutted hip screams she would in less than a heartbeat.

“What were you doing timing me?” She asks her lips twitching like they want to form into a smirk.

“It doesn’t matter, shall we?”

She gives the restaurant a once over and shrugs, “May as well.”

Her easy nonchalance comes as a surprise. Based on her greeting he would think she didn’t want to be there any more than he did. But the way she heads for the door like a woman on a mission, he comes up behind her and pulls the door open a little wider as they press into the lobby.

“You have a back-up plan don’t you," he presses a little closer than strictly necessary to whisper in her ear.

“Of course, I do. You probably do too. You scream planner.” She replies stepping to the hostess station, “Hi we uh called ahead under Odinson.”

The hostess looks relieved and her smile goes from polite disinterest to genuine. “Of course, it’ll be about ten minutes.”

“Cool thanks,” Darcy replies and turns to come nose to chest with her date. Her eyebrows rising in curiosity as she tilts her head back. She bites back the sassy comment about getting too close. The lobby was quite full so she was willing to give him a little wiggle room.

“I scream planner?”

“Don’t get offended. Every family has to have at least one. Though based on stories, the only one that doesn’t really plan in your family is Thor.”

“He does have a way of running headlong into everything.”

“That he does. Do you,” she waves her hand between them, her fingers grazing the soft dark material of his button down as she does, to illustrate he should move.

“Sorry.” He takes a step back.

“Mhm.”

Darcy walks away and takes a seat on the bench along the wall as they wait.

“What’s your back up plan?” He asks after she’s settled.

She grins leaning back into the cushion of the seat. He can’t help but return it, her attitude is almost infectious. She might be unhappy about the arrangement as he is, but she seems to enjoy toying with him. Add that she has a plan to escape the situation much as he does, doesn’t even seem to mind that he does, and Loki is suddenly much more intrigued by her. More than he was when she walked up.

“Is this one of those ‘I’ll-show-you-mine-if-you-show-me-yours’ situations, because honestly, that tends to go over better when I’ve had a couple of drinks and have a decent buzz going. Remind me to stop feigning enjoyment for Jane and Thor when they drag me to burger joints.”

“Stop feigning enjoyment when Jane and my brother drag you for burgers,” he responds, she laughs, and it isn’t one of those ‘wow-that’s-so-lame’ kind of laughs. He amused Darcy by responding with equal amounts of sass as she gives.

Either way she doesn’t respond at first, and Loki remains quiet. He can wait out his most stubborn tutors and professors, he can wait out one young woman that his brother is fond of and routinely refers to as his sister. The prolonged silence doesn’t appear to faze her at first, but after a couple minutes of them staring at each other and then pretending not to look at each other at all, she starts to fidget. Her hands go from her lap to her hair, to sitting on the bench at her thigh, back to her lap, and finally crossing her arms under her breasts when the hostess call them.

“Odinson, party of two.” The hostess announces and Darcy is on her feet, brown hair swaying about her shoulders as she crosses the small lobby to the hostess station once more.

The hostess smiles at them and leads them to a table in the back, the lights just far enough away to create a romantic atmosphere. There’s a small tealight on the table already lit and flickering as the hostess places their menus across from each other on the table.

“Your server tonight will be Angela and she’ll be right with you,” the hostess states before leaving them to figure out what comes next on their own.

Darcy starts shrugging out of her dark coat.

“Let me help you,” Loki offers moving behind her he takes her coat from her and hangs the coat on the hook at the top of the booth before she can protest. His own follows a moment later and he slides into the far side of the booth. His back to the rest of the patrons his head cocked to the side waiting. His mouth turned up into a cocky smirk as she studies him.

“Keep that up and I may reevaluate my desire for a refund,” she quips taking the open seat across from him.

“Sounds like a challenge.”

“And if it is?”

He leans forward until the table stops him and his smirk widens considerably, “Consider it accepted.”

Her eyes widen and he watches how she swallows like something he just said was particularly enticing. Too bad there was a table firmly between them. He wouldn't mind discovering how else she might react to him.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t get the chance as her phone starts ringing. A low gravely almost computer sounding voice growls ‘I am Iron Man’ as guitars start in the background. His brow furrows in confusion as she pulls the device out of her purse and clicks a button on the side before laying it face down on the table, silent once more.

“Do you need to get that?” He asks leaning back.

“Back up plan.” She says simply with a shake of her head as their server comes up.

“Hi, I’m Angela and I’ll be server today. Can I start you with anything to drink?” The perky blond server asks.

Darcy has a bemused expression as she orders without ever taking her gaze from Loki’s, “Water with lime please.”

“Coffee please.”

“Alright, I’ll go put these in and give you a few more minutes to look over the menu.” The server leaves and Loki tilts his head at Darcy.

“Your back-up plan was to get a phone call fifteen minutes after we were supposed to meet?”

Darcy is starting to answer when his own phone starts ringing. His cheeks flushing as he works to get it silenced before it disturbs the dining room. Perfect timing.

“Need to get that?” Darcy asks a self-satisfied smile plastered to her face as she leans back.

“It’s just an alarm.” He hisses as the ringing goes silent.

“I’m sure. So are you going to bolt on me or are we both in agreement to see what happens next?”

“Let’s see what happens next, shall we? I’d to be accused of not giving things a legitimate chance.” He pauses as their serve returns with their drinks.

They ask for a few more minutes before ordering. Loki leaning forward in his seat and Darcy does the same her grin mirroring the one he can feel splitting his face. She is beautiful he realizes once he stops trying to dismiss her. Now that he’s paying attention instead of thinking about his thesis project. And if he was gauging her reaction correctly just as much interested in a little payback at her friends as he was.

“What do you say to telling them that it was a terrible date?”

“Sounds like an idea I can get behind.”

“Excellent.”

Dinner goes well. As they eat the pair plan all the ways they plan to convince Thor and Jane that it was a horrible experience. They start simple, keeping the beginnings as close to what happened as possible. Mixing truth with fiction was the easiest way to remember a lie, a fact he was pleased to see that she was already familiar with as they talked.

When they finish, Loki lingers. She lingers. He couldn’t remember feeling quite like this before. The last time a person caught his interest like this was a long time ago. Getting up from the table he picks up her coat and holds it out to her to help her put it on once she stands.

“Can I drive you home?” He asks putting his jacket on.

“No, I’m good, but you can call me tomorrow if you’ll give me your phone.”

“Of course.”

Handing over his phone he watches her type in her phone number and her name. Red-tipped fingers returning his phone to him.

“I’ll do that.”

“You had better mischief. Otherwise, our little prank will be very real.”

“I promise Darcy.”

#marvelfluffbingo #tasertricks #darcy lewis #darcy x loki #darcy lewis x loki #axkerti writes #fanfiction #oneshot #first date #blind date #fluffbingo #rated: teen #these two kill me sometimes

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odderancyart · 7 years

Text

Dear Diary

AO3 Warnings: depression

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

I am a thief. I stole today. I know it’s wrong – I know – but what other choice did I have? I can’t get a job – no one wants to hire a fifteen-year-old without a permission slip from parents – and begging is dangerous. Someone could find out that Papyrus and I are orphans, and take us to an orphanage or foster parents. They could separate us. I cannot risk it.

So today when I went to the supermarket to buy food for whatever money I had managed to scrape together I couldn’t help it. There was so much food. They wouldn’t miss just a little. While for me and Papy…

I got tortilla bread, tomatoes, hamburger meat and even some honey. Papy was so happy when I let him have honey after dinner. I can never afford treats for him. I wish I could. Papy deserves all the sweets in the world, no matter how disgusting sweetness is. He loves it, so of course he’ll have it whenever I can.

I’ll probably have to find another store the next time. It’s too dangerous to go to the same place without buying something. The cashier would get suspicious.

Sans

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

I almost got caught today. Key word “almost”, thankfully. I don’t know what would have happened to Papy if they’d got me. If no one had been there to fetch him after school, they would have looked for our “parents”, only to see there’s no such thing. It would have been catastrophic.

I’m still shaking as I write this. I just need to get it out before I leave to get my brother. I’m so scared.

I was just putting some cornflakes into my inventory for tomorrow’s breakfast as an employee saw me. If I hadn’t had my shortcuts…

This can’t go on. I can’t continue stealing. Not only is my conscience killing me – although that part is worth it so I can feed and clothe Papy properly – but I’ve been to almost every shop in New Home. I’m going to get caught. I’m going to get caught one day and then Papy will be taken from me.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

It’s my birthday today. I’m seventeen. Papy got me a blue scarf, he made it himself in school. He also tried to make me a cake, but I had to stop him from burning himself.

I love him so much. I love the scarf. I’m going to wear it always.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

I didn’t eat today. I’m so hungry.

But at least Papyrus got something in his stomach, even if it wasn’t much.

XX/XX-XXXX

I have a job. I have a job.

I still can’t believe it. I’m crying, dear Diary. I’m so relieved. There’s this old tortoise in Waterfall. He saw me rooting through the garbage dump for clothes, and he offered me a job. Not only that, but he’s the guardian of this little fish girl, Undyne. He promised to take care of Papy whilst I’m working. Undyne’s a few years older than him, but I think they’ll get along great.

Everything’s looking better. It’s even paid quite well. A lot more than I’ve ever scraped together before through begging and odd jobs like mowing lawns and walking pets. I’m going to sell hot dogs. Gerson – the tortoise – also said that if I do well enough I can buy the hot dog stand from him and it’s going to be mine. I’m looking forward to this so much, it’s going to be awesome!

Finally, the Magnificent Sans – Papy has taken to calling me that and I like it – will be able to give his brother the childhood he deserves.

I must go get Papy at the mechanics club at school now. Hopefully he’s got some friends, the little guy is so shy.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

Selling hot dogs is amazing. Everyone gets so happy when I give them the ‘dogs, and I meet so much nice people. I love meeting new people, and I think they like me too. I’ve made a lot of new friends, including Grillby. You know, the fire elemental who owns Grillby’s in Hotland. He doesn’t actually buy any ‘dogs – I think he’s a bit of a cheapskate – but he likes to chat when I’m working close to his bar. Sometimes he even exchange services; he and the firelings gets ‘dogs and I get hamburgers or pommes frites, or if it’s weekend, a drink.

Papyrus has become best friends with Undyne. I am so happy over that, I have been worried for him. He’s been diagnosed with high-level social anxiety and has difficulties making friends or even talking with people. But now he’s at least got her. She’s a sweet girl, even if she is a bit anxious too; unless she gets passionate about something. Then she's incredibly loud and eager.

He’s fourteen now, his birthday was last week. I could actually throw a party for him. It was the first time any of us got a birthday party, and while it was small I think he liked it. The guests were me, Gerson, Undyne, Shyren and the Blook cousins. The Blooks and Shyren held a musical number for Papy and he loved it. Even Undyne played a song on the piano despite her hatred of being in centrum.

They all really care for Papy and nothing could make me happier. He deserves it.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

We’re moving to Snowdin. I’ve bought a house! Now when Papy’s graduated we can finally get out of New Home. No more of these ratty apartments in the capital, it’s really big! Two bedrooms, living room and kitchen. It’s actually the biggest house in town. We’ll get much closer to Waterfall too, which will be good for Papy. To get closer to his friends. He’s seemed down lately.

About Papy graduating; it’s brilliant! He had highest grades in all practical subjects, and good ones in the theoretical too. Except Physics – I’ve tried to explain it but he doesn’t seem to be able to wrap his mind around it. Ah well. We’re all good at different things. I’m brilliant at physics but I couldn’t build half the machines Papy can. He’s a genius at mechanical engineering, I really hope he’ll make a career in it.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

Papyrus works in the Labs with Undyne now! They’re a team and he’s earning a lot of money. I let him keep it all, though. I earn enough on my hot dogs and as a sentry to pay for the house and food and everything else. Did I mention I’m a sentry now?

I’m a sentry now.

Anyway, I’m so proud of him! He’s so happy, goes to the job with a smile and comes home tired but grinning and tells me everything about his day. I’ve never felt so lucky to have him as my brother.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dea

He’s

I don’t know wh

Papy has been diagnosed with severe depression.

I’m quitting my job as a hot dog vendor. I need to be close to home if he needs me.

I’m so worried for him. He doesn’t do anything. He just… nothing.

He doesn’t work at the Lab anymore.

And I can’t do anything.

I feel so powerless.

XX/XX-XXXX

Papy has begun to at least do something. He’s moving around the house, organising. It’s almost mechanic, but he’s not sitting staring at nothing anymore. He’s still in a very bad condition, but he’s a little better, I think. We’re lacking money now when I only work as a sentry. I need to get more money, or we’ll have to move and I don’t think that’d be good for Papy.

He’s also told me to do something. I think he feels bad that I quit a job I loved to take care of him. I need something that will stop him from blaming himself.

XX/XX-XXXX

I tried to get into the Royal Guard. It’s better paid than being a sentry and it did seem like it’d be interesting. And, perhaps more importantly, I can tell Papy this is my new passion so he’ll stop feeling guilty.

It didn’t work.

Captain Alphys said she can’t let a 1HP monster into the Guard. “Too dangerous,” she said. It’s frustrating. I can’t help my low HP, it’s a birth defect. And it’s normally over it’s maximum! It’s only been lower because I’m exhausted and haven’t had time to train as much now when I have to look after Papyrus. He has been spending too much time at Muffet’s lately. Seems to make him happier – which is good – but it’s not healthy for him to only eat sweets and drink alcohol all day. I worry!

I told the Captain that I need to get into the Guard. I think I practically begged her for it, to be honest. It was humiliating, but anything for my baby brother.

We’ve reached an agreement. She’ll train me, at least on the defensive, so I get something to show Papy. In return, I’ll teach her how to cook without burning her house down, and she’ll pay me for that. And if he, or anyone else, asks, I’m her personal Guard trainee.

I’d like to get into the Guard, really. But this is the best we’ll get I think, and it’s better than nothing. I think it might even be fun! Captain Alphys is quite pleasant, even if she’s really brash and violent. She’s promised to show me anime, whatever that is. She was horrified when I told her I didn’t know what it was.

I think this will be good.

It has to be.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

I think I’m going insane. I get this feeling all the time that time’s repeating. That this has already happened. I don’t know what’s going on. It has to be my imagination, doesn’t it? Time can’t be repeating, that’s impossible.

XX/XX-XXXX

A human fell into the Underground today. The sixth. Alphys caught them and took them to Queen Toriel. We only need one more SOUL now, and we’ll be free.

Hopefully it’ll happen soon. It would cheer Papy up. He’s better, but he’s still bad. I sometimes wonder if he’ll ever be happy again. But I can’t think that. He will. He must.

I’ve gotten him a job as a sentry. I think he needs to start doing other things than spending his days at Muffet’s again. Molly, Snowdin’s healer, agrees.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

Papyrus laughed today. He finally visited Undyne at the Lab, and when he came home he smiled at me. Then he laughed when I punned. I’m so relieved, I’m so happy. He hasn’t been in the Labs for years, but it seems like it was good for him.

I’m going to bake him a honey carrot cake to celebrate. It’s his favourite.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

Time is still weird, and I still get these feelings of extreme déjà vu sometimes, but I’m getting used to it.

I’ve made a new friend! Their name is Temmie and they’re… something. I don’t know what kind of monster they are. They look kind of weird, but they’re sweet and funny. I think they need some anger management though, but perhaps the Magnificent Sans can help them with that.

That’s what friends do, after all!

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

*the words are too smudged out to be read. Looks a bit like someone threw this page in the dishwasher and then put it back in the book again.

XX/XX-XXXX

Dear Diary

There’s a human Underground. It’s been so many years since the last, most of us had begun to lose hope. Not me, though. I knew it’d happen eventually. It had to. I’m going to try to catch them. I know Alphys won’t be happy – she says it’s too dangerous and that I should call the Bunny Unit or her if I saw a human before hiding – but the Magnificent Sans can do it. I know it. Then she has to let me into the Guard, or at least actually train me. I’m getting really tired of these repetitive defence lessons. I know how to defend myself.

It’s nice to do something for me for once. Not that I’m ever going to complain. I’d live my life the exact same way if I had to relive it. Perhaps gone to Gerson earlier, though. Given Papy a proper childhood quicker, without being in half-starvation with toys and clothes from the dump.

XX/XX-XXXX

Welp – that plan didn’t work. The Human is too nice to catch. Or, well, I did catch them. But I couldn’t take them to the Queen so she could take their SOUL. The kid’s sweet, even if they’re a bit violent. I think they would be great friends with Alphys.

XX/XX-XXXX

The Surface. The Human – Chara – broke the Barrier, or whatever happened. We’re free.

I knew it. Or at least I tried to.

And it happened. The Barrier is gone.

We’re free.

I think I don’t need you anymore, dear Diary. Thanks for all the years you helped me through all the difficulties of life Underground. But I have a feeling everything will get better now. Papy’s already looking happier than he’s ever done before, and Chara’s forcing him to play tag with them as I write this. The King is back, and he’ll try to adopt them, and the Queen doesn’t seem as tired anymore. Alphys and Undyne’s finally dating, and I think that I will finally get to live for myself too. I’ll always live for Papy, he’s my baby brother, but just perhaps will I get the chance to find out what I really want to do with the rest of my life.

Thank you.

Sans is signing out.

Papyrus and Chara exchanged glances. Papyrus was horrified. He knew his brother had had a hard time raising him, but he hadn’t know it had been this bad. That Sans had gone hungry, or stolen or that he had loved his hot dog job so much. He felt terrible. Chara petted his head.

“Cheer up, idiot,” they said. The word was harsh, but Papyrus gave them a smile. He knew they cared. “He wouldn’t want you to feel bad. He did it all because he loves you more than anything.”

The door opened, and Chara’s eyes widened. Papyrus quickly grabbed the diary they’d found in one of the old boxes from Snowdin, and shoved it beneath the couch. Sans came in, smiling brightly at them. Following him was Bumbersnoot, his dachshund.

“HELLO, SIBLINGS!” he greeted cheerily. “I’VE HAD A GREAT DAY. MY NEW CLIENT LOVED BUMBERSNOOT, AND I THINK HER PROBLEMS WILL BE SOLVED SOON.”

About a year after they reached the Surface, Sans had decided to become a therapist. He was really good at it, too. Papyrus realized now that he’d never seen Sans this happy before. He swallowed, and quickly stood. With a few steps he reached Sans, picking him up in a tight hug.

“thank you for raising me, bro,” he mumbled into Sans’ neck. Sans seemed surprised, but hugged back just as hard. “i love you.”

“I LOVE YOU TOO, PAPY,” he said. “BUT WHAT BROUGHT THIS ON? ARE YOU OKAY?” He sounded concerned, and Bumbersnoot nibbled at Papyrus’ tibias to show he too was worried.

“yeah. i’m just so glad you’re happy.”

“Me too,” Chara agreed from the couch, although they almost muttered it. They weren’t much for sentimentality.

“THANK YOU,” Sans replied, still sounding a big confused. Papyrus smiled at that. Perhaps it was for the best, he didn’t think Sans would appreciate they’d read his old diary, even if it hadn’t been on purpose. They had simply wanted to see what that old book was and then hadn’t been able to stop. “I’M GLAD YOU’RE HAPPY TOO. BOTH OF YOU.”

“do you wanna go to grillby’s tonight?” he asked Sans, who raised an eyebrow.

“SURE, BUT YOU HATE GRILLBY’S FOOD.”

Papyrus shrugged. He did. Grease was the worst. But after all these years of Sans taking care of him, he could take it one evening. Anyway, Grillby always made milkshakes for him, and they were good.

“eh,” he said and turned to the human. “chara? You wanna come? or would you rather eat at home with asgore?”

Chara tilted her head for a moment before nodding and grinning.

“I’m coming. Have to spend some more times with my best big bros, right?”

The brothers grinned, and Sans took Bumbersnoot in his arms before grabbing Papyrus, who grabbed Chara. With a quick shortcut, they arrived at Sans’ favourite restaurant. Papyrus grinned as the regulars cheerfully greeted his brother, and him and Chara too, for that part. He still wasn’t all that good at talking with people, but Sans chatted enough for both. And with how merry his big bro looked as he spoke with his friends about his day, he wouldn’t want it any other way.

Grillby waved over them to the bar desk, and Chara picked a play fight with Bumbersnoot. Sans grinned so widely as he watched it.

Yeah, Sans’ life hadn’t been the easiest, Papyrus now knew better than ever before. But at last it seemed like they all could finally be truly happy.

@faemytho I hope it was okay that I used Bumbersnoot?

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lunaraen · 7 years

Note

“I am a disaster and I have a sneaking suspicion that I always will be.” with Magnus (with Gabriel or Ellegaard, I guess??)

Madness knows no bounds.

That’s a good general rule ofthumb, when dealing with anybody who’s got more supplies than most people knowwhat to do with and just as many ideas, especially when said supplies can doconsiderable damage when used incorrectly and can do even more when used right.

Loathe as Ellegaard may be toadmit it, some days, personal experience has taught her that inventors, herselfmaybe especially, can be just as mad as griefers. It isn’t so much a case ofdifferent degrees of craziness as it is fields.

The distinction’s not asimportant as she sometimes likes to make it.

(This is, after all, coming from someone on her hands and knees tinkering with a system of shrill, stubbornpistons that’s far more complex than it needs to be, wearing coveralls coveredin grease and redstone, just because she can and because rain always puts herin a more experimental mood.)

And Ellegaard has considerable…experience with Magnus and his brandof insanity. On the better days she’ll call it the learning kind, and on theworse ones she’ll say it’s an occupational hazard.

No matter how she wants to lookat it, though, there’s no changing that he’s very much a part of her regularschedule. The other Order members are too, of course, but usually she doesn’thave to wonder about whether or not they’re plotting to blow up her inventions,unless Gabriel’s messing around with Magnus and Magnus is still there in thosesituations too, usually as the bad influence/inspiration.

That means few things are new,even if she still has to wonder what he’ll try to throw at her again.

But even if it isn’t new, whenMagnus enters the room even more quietly than most normal people, the click ofthe door quiet but not as quiet as it would be if he was trying to be sneaky,it’s different in all the little ways that are downright unsettling. Like thelack of any comment as he walks by her, not even nudging any of her tools asideas he does just to mess with her, before sitting on one of the crates ofredstone she finished filling that morning, sparkling splotches of leftover,dusty red dotting the sides and lining the top.

Maybe she wasn’t expecting himback for a while, given that it’s also not uncommon for Magnus to just wanderaround for a few days. It’s not quite the training they need to beat a dragon,but he always shows up and does his best for that too, and who’s she to arguewith self-care?

Except whatever care he trieddoesn’t seem to have worked this time, even for his usual.

He looks like he feels every bitlike the drizzle outside, and as much as Ellegaard enjoys listening to thesteady drum of raindrops against the window, it’s unnerving to see Magnus lookingevery bit soaked to the bone, like it actually bothers him.

He’s done this before, walked orlimped back in after going out for a few hours, either covered in soot and ashor still smoking most times, but he’s always laughing when he first gets back,or snickering, or just smirking and looking far too proud of himself andwhatever chaos he wreaked. All being sopping wet has ever done before is madesure he can’t still be smoking while he cackles about whatever he just pulledoff.

So it’s, maybe, a littleconcerning, just a bit, when he trudges in, dripping and still managing to looklike he’s rolled around in a fire pit, as well as frowning.

In fact, it’s not even a goodfrown. Notch knows they’ve all seen better scowls from Soren, when he’s mad athis builds, or Ellegaard herself, when her machines are being… less thancooperative.

(Machines and people alike tendto be far more cooperative when a good wrench and a few threats get involved.)

Ellegaard knows Magnus can do abetter frown, even on his worse days, but it seems he’s forgotten that. Atleast, it makes him look all the more pitiful, something he’s never been fondof being. The mere idea of being seen as pathetic is usually enough to get himroaring with laughter again.

Yet there he sits.

Pouting.

In Ellegaard’s experience, theonly thing worse than a scheming griefer is a pouting one.

(Which means it’s really in thebest interest of her inventions, not to mention her already questionablesanity, that she shut this down as soon as possible, before Magnus doessomething they all regret, and it works just as well as motivation as it doesan alibi.)

So she doesn’t even bother withthe melodramatic sigh as she gets to her feet, picking up one of the rags byher feet as she does to wipe off, or at least smear around, the excess oil andredstone clinging to her gloves.

And he doesn’t even look up ather.

“What’s wrong?”

With him still not looking at heras he responds, she’d be happier about writing it off as a mood if there wassome sort of genuine emotion behind the grumble. The problem? There isn’t.

“Nothing’s wrong. Leave mealone.”

She almost considers leaving himto it, but this is actually concerning.

Besides that, few things make foras obvious a cry for help as limping back to her lab while she’s busyinventing, something only Magnus ever dares to interrupt anyway, to sit like akicked puppy.

Ivor’s always been better athelping people with emotions, and they both know it.

“You’re moping.” Shesighs as she lifts her goggles, letting them rest on her forehead as shecrosses her arms, the spotty rag dangling from her hand as she resists the urgeto frown herself. The red tint of her goggles, as it turns out, wasn’t doing asmuch to make him look miserable as she thought they were. In fact, the lack ofcolor might just be making him look drearier. “What’s wrong?”

And oh Notch, he actually takes amoment to respond, and the heavy sigh that precedes it is almost just as bad.

“I am a disaster and I havea sneaking suspicion that I always will be.”

Ellegaard also knows tired whenshe hears it. There’s nothing bitter in the words, far more precise than heever normally bothers making them, and what sounds like exhausted acceptance isfar worse than any grumbling.

“That bad?” He doesn’teven glance up at her, mouth twisted into a thin line that looks whollyunnatural on him. Whatever humor Ellegaard was trying for drops, her shouldersslumping a bit even as she raises an eyebrow. “Notch, you’re serious. Whathappened?”

“…you know that fire theyjust had down in Mauragon?”

“The mining village at thebase of the mountain? What about it–” News travels quickly between thevarious small villages surrounding the temple, but there wasn’t much to saywhen it was apparently taken care of so quickly and with no reported injuries.Ellegaard had thought it had just been some lightning, given their currentweather, but now… well, it clicks, and maybe it shouldn’t as easily as itdoes, but that doesn’t change how fast everything snaps together.“…oh.”

For a moment, the storm outsidesounds impossibly louder.

“Yeah. Oh.” Magnus’selbows are on top of his knees as he hunches over, fingers barely touching theedge of his mask as he holds his head up. “I just wanted to buy some TNT,but there was a stack of them on display, and I was lighting a cig when I tripped.”

At least it explains a lot.

“You… tripped.” Shedoesn’t say anything to let him know how easy it is to believe and how hard atthe same time, Magnus’s luck and his usual agility apparently once again atodds, but she’s sure her tone takes care of that for her. And, of course, ifsaid luck is playing into things the way it normally does… “Right by thedisplay?”

He’s alive, which is more thanmost people would be if they’d been in the same situation, and it’s the farkinder side of his luck.

(Not that she’s ever one todiscount ability, and she knows Magnus has plenty, for better or worse. It’sjust as much his experiences coming into play, and she doesn’t doubt he gothimself as safe as he could as quickly as he could, given the few seconds he hadto react. He’s still standing, and not just a pile of burned parts and ash, sothere’s not really any other possibilities)

The sharper side absolutelyexplains why he looks like he set himself on fire, though.

“Yup. Turns out a lot of theshop was made of wool. Cheaper that way.” She doesn’t snicker, the way shewants to for a second as the mental image completes itself, but she does wince.That sounds about right, given how these things tend to go and how… Magnus he tends to be during them.“Nobody got hurt or nothing, but… it was close. Not allowed back.”

Nobody got hurt, he says,re-lighting a cigarette that looks less burned out than he does, and Ellegaardhas to resist rolling her eyes.

“In the shop?”

“In Mauragon.”

Well then.

That explains the brooding aboutit.

Brooding, by the by, is anotherword for trying to bottle up emotions, failing, and pouting about it, with anoptional existential crisis or two. Ellegaard would know, she’s done plenty ofit herself.

“…I thought we were tryingto be heroes to protect people.” She uses the cautious, observational toneusually reserved for machines that seem to be ready to jump the line tomalfunctioning but haven’t yet. There’s supposed to be some humor there, butshe gets the feeling it falls dead on its feet anyhow. “Not ruin theirstock and blow up stores.”

“I know.” He groans,rubbing at his temples as he does. “I was going to pay for the stuff andeverything too. You try being apyromaniac and not cause trouble everywhere you go.”

“Did you help fix thedamage?”

There’s a pause.

“Yeah.”

That’s that. He screwed up, fixedthings up, and was banned from someplace else.

Which leaves her with taking careof the existential crises. Honestly, it may be something of her specialty atthis point, at least when it comes to Magnus. And she does have some things she’d like to take care of, Ellegaard musesas she glances at the still greasy, still squeaking pistons.

“…you know what I think always cheers you up?”

And he glances up at her, lipstwitching up in what actually looks like a smile.

It looks like the world won’t beending today, then.

Good. She still has far too manyinventions she needs to get to before that can happen.

“Blowing random crap up inthe desert?”

There’s an art, a science, too,to how long a pause should be held, for dramatics sake if nothing else. There’ssomething to be said for presentation.

Ellegaard waits one moment, andthen another, before nodding.

“Blowing random crap up inthe desert.” It’s likely just her imagination, the way her functioningmachines seem to hum in agreement. “And guess who has a few failedinventions that need to be taken care of?”

And the smile twists into theeven more familiar grin and he looks so much more like the Magnus she knows.

“You’re the best,Ellie.”

It’s easier to grin back when theknot in her chest loosens.

“I know.”

Because there’s somethinginherently insane in being a griefer, and something just as mad in being anengineer. There’s the constant danger, the constant toeing the line, the geniusthat could just as easily be called lunacy.

And there’s something to be said,for knowing that and still combining those kinds of insanity, and the easiestthing to call it is fun.

#My Stuff #fanfiction #mcsm #minecraft story mode #anon

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newdruid · 7 years

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One Last Time. Leonard Snart x Reader

Title: One Last time Pairing: Leonard Snart x reader Warnings: Spoilers for Flash season 3. Angst? It's kinda sad... really sad. Author's Note: So... I've been kind of inactive, and I know Beauty and The Beasts needs updating, but... here's this while you wait I guess. This was a random idea I had a while ago... yay? ------------------------- 24 hours. You had 24 hours to save Iris West. Otherwise the future would be unchangeable. So here you were, standing in the lab waiting for Tracy and HR to unveil their trap for Savitar. Knowing HR, this was probably going to be slightly flamboyant, but that didn't matter as long as it saved Iris. “The Speed Bazooka!” HR revealed. Tracy and himself began to explain how it worked. There was only one problem. “It needs 3.86 Terajoules of energy to work…” Tracy said, sounding hesitant. “That's more energy than the sun!” Exclaimed Cisco. Everyone began trying to think of different ways to get that much power. It seemed pointless until Cisco rigged the satellites to search for something with that much power. Of course, they all pointed to A.R.G.U.S. Unfortunately when Cisco and Barry went to talk to Lyla Michaels about using this power source, she told them no. “Wally and I will phase through the walls and take it.” Barry insisted. “Uh, no you won't.” Cisco shot him down, pulling something up on the screens in the cortex. “These are Metahuman power dampeners and they are all over the building.” “Too bad none of us are master thieves.” You said. Barry disappeared after that. You made your water over to a computer and started going over the layout of A.R.G.U.S. looking for ways in and out. The rest of the Team was doing similar things. You could feel both determination and doubt in the room. No one wanted Iris to die, so they were determined to find a way to save her. But there was still the cloud of possible failure hanging over the team. You decided to ignore it. Everyone was still in the Cortex when Barry got back. The man who came in with him, caused everyone to freeze, ironic considering who it was. The newcomer’s presence affected you most, however. “What? No welcome party?” Leonard Snart remarked, looking over at you. “What the hell is he doing here?” Joe questioned. “Snart’s going to help me steal the Dominator tech.” Barry explained. There was some arguing, but you weren't paying attention. You couldn't take your eyes off of Snart. “Well, it looks like you have a lot to discuss.” Leonard interrupted. “I'll be in your lab getting ready.” He left the room. “I thought Snart was with the Legends?” Joe inquired. “He was… “ “Snart is dead, Barry.” Said Iris. “That means you time traveled again. You promised you'd never do that again.” “I also promised I'd do anything to save you.” Barry retorted. “Do you have any idea what you've done?” You had finally piped up. You refused to look at anyone, and had subconsciously began fiddling with the ring on your left hand. “How could you bring him here Barry…?” Barry looked at you with soft eyes. “Y/N I'm sorry… I didn't think about how this would affect you.” All you could do was shake your head. You felt Cisco put a hand on your shoulder from his spot beside you and you lifted your head up to look at Barry. “How am I supposed to walk into that lab and face the man I love, my husband,when in my heart, I know he's dead?” Barry looked at the floor. He couldn't find the words to say. “Y/N- “ Cisco tried to intervene, but you cut him off. “I just… I need a minute.” You stood from your chair and exited the Cortex. You somehow found yourself in the Speed Lab. You stood in the middle of the room with your arms wrapped around yourself. Thinking. Thinking about the day Mick Rory came to your doorstep. ------------------- Knock knock knock. You opened the door, smiling when you saw Mick. You hugged him lightly then backed away looking around. “Where's Leonard?” You asked, searching his eyes. They were sad, he almost looked like he might cry. “I'm so sorry Y/N…” Mick couldn't get anything else out. Your blood ran cold. “He… he died a hero…” You didn't cry, but you were frozen. Until you heard another voice, a baby's voice, crying. You turned to look back in the house then back to Mick. “He never got to hold her…” ------------------ “I thought you'd be happier to see me.” Leonard’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. You forced a smile. “Hey, sorry… I've been distracted.” You replied. “I'm just really surprised you're here.” You knew he didn't buy your bluff. “You never were a good liar, Y/N.” He stepped closer to you, pulling you into his arms, you found yourself pressed against his chest. “My guess is something happened, but I know what time travel and knowing too much can do to a person, so I'm not going to ask.” He kissed the tip of your nose. This was surreal to you. You hadn't felt his strong arms around you in a long time. Sometimes when you lay alone at home you thought you felt him but you always woke up to find the empty spot beside you. Having him there now felt the same way, and you hated it. At the same time, you never wanted him to leave you. “Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. I, am sure we'll be fine.” He smiled. Oh how wrong he was, yet you wished he was right. You wanted to tell him, so maybe he could stop the future. Then you thought about what you and you're team were doing now… you didn't want him to be in the same loop of insanity, trying to stop something that couldn't be stopped. So you smiled instead. You focused on him being here right now. You put your arms around his neck, one of your hands finding its way to the hair at the base of his skull. You kissed him, the feeling so familiar, but almost forgotten. He held you tight, and for some reason, you didn't care if he let go. You just needed to see him, to feel him, one last time.

#the flash #snart x reader #leonard snart x reader #leonard snart #cisco ramon #barry allen #mick rory #legends of tomorrow

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kukuandkookie · 7 years

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Broken Pearls the Colour of Blood

*Part 2 can be found HERE!

For as long as I remembered, I was Carnelian's.

I'd come into existence for him. I was made to be his servant; I was a Pearl, after all. And that's what we were. We were to be there for our masters and we were to obey every command. It was our duty.

Carnelian was a scientist working for the Gem Labs on Homeworld, and he had a reputation that stretched far and wide. Some would call him insane, but I thought otherwise. He was brilliant; unique—he was smart in a way no one would ever quite understand.

But I wanted to understand. He was like a puzzle, and I wanted to solve him. I was made to be there for him, after all.

I belonged to him.

And maybe he wasn't mine, but... I was just happy being his.

When he was stressed, I was there for him, and he was stressed often from work. He was never alone. He had me.

I still remember once, when I was approaching him with new specimen for him to study, he asked me, "Tell me, Pearl... Am I good owner?"

I knew this dance. All I had to do was say the right thing and make him happy. "Of course, Master."

He paused, his gaze unchanged from my words. He was looking down, yellow gaze duller than his usual blazing eyes, and he didn't look any happier. I was prepared to expand on my words, but he raised his head and continued with: "So tell me... Why do they all leave?"

I froze, the smile still on my face. Sometimes...there are some things you just can't answer. So instead, I looked down and murmured, "Master..."

"Bismuth is gone, Pearl." He narrowed his eyes, his irises shrinking until they were just slits. "The traitor."

The way he said "traitor", with his teeth gritted and spat out, was so full of hate, I hoped he'd never say the same thing about me.

I'd always be by his side. I'd always be his, and I'd always be there to make him happy.

I thought the whole ordeal would just blow over. He'd forget about them like he always did. He'd start smiling again, because he didn't hold onto such things. He never let them get to him, which was a trait I admired so much.

But Master no longer smiled. He never forgot about that betrayal.

I couldn't smile either. I was so worried about him. What good is being there for them if you can't even make them happy? I felt so useless. I was just a Pearl, and I couldn't be there for him the way he needed—not this time.

When he did smile, it was fake. He made more advances on me, but he was always so rough. It wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to be his and for him to be mine, but not in the direction we were heading. Yet, I was willing to look past that because I thought I could change direction. I thought we were on the right track. He was broken, and I wanted to fix him.

I needed to go after those who hurt him. Bismuth, Unakite, Lapis, Sapphire, and the rest of the Crystal Gems... I needed to get rid of them all, for Carnelian. For us.

I remember approaching Bismuth and telling her she'd have to turn back or else I'd have to poof her for betraying Carnelian.

She paused and looked back at me. "Maroon... Are you doing this for yourself, or for that monster?"

"He's not a monster." I hesitated, holding up my blade. "And I'm doing it for us."

"You keep telling yourself that," she sighed back.

Her words and the pity in her voice made me angry, so I attacked without trying to reason with her any further. We fought for a long time, but she had back-up. She had the rest of the Crystal Gems there to help her, and I had no one.

I lost.

While I was struggling to get back up, she knelt down in front of me. "Don't," she whispered. "Stay down." Her eyes were soft and sad, nothing like the cold gaze of a soldier she'd had when she was still on our side. "Or else I'll have to poof you. And I don't want to do that to you, Maroon."

I stayed down, if only because I was too damaged to stand back up. She left with her friends, and I was left behind. She'd moved on without me. Without Carnelian.

After that, and after facing Master's disappointment, I realized something:

I was falling.

At first it was okay. After all, what did love feel like but to fall?

However, the tunnel I was falling through was growing smaller. It grew darker, more suffocating. Yet, I kept going. I didn't try to stop because I thought I could help the Gem at the end of the tunnel.

I could find him. Find us. And then he could be happy again, and I could love him from afar like I always have. Things could go back to normal and everything would be okay.

But as I fell further, it only grew darker. He was always just beyond my reach. I was so scared; scared he'd crash and break without me, scared I'd never save him in time.

And somehow, I got here.

Dragging myself across the floor, screaming at the broken Gem in front of me to fuse with me so that we could be stronger and beat these Crystal Gems. "FUSE WITH ME!!" I commanded, trying to draw them out of their stupor. The skittish Gem I was screaming at was a simple Ruby soldier, and their gem was cracked. But I didn't care. I had to fuse with someone, or else I'd never be able to defeat Pietersite, the fusion of Lapis Lazuli and Bismuth.

I managed to grab the Ruby and I twirled them around until we were enveloped by a glow and we fused to become Pyrope, but the fusion was unstable and we quickly fell apart after being defeated. The fight was fast; the Ruby I'd grabbed was too weak and damaged by that point to have been of any further use. Pietersite finished us off with a blow to our chest, and I remember suddenly being me again, flying through the air and tumbling until I crashed into a wall.

I remember Pietersite's gaze. It was so full of pity, I felt my own chest grow tight as I closed my eyes. When I awoke, Pietersite was gone. Carnelian was in front of me, brandishing a sword, and his back was turned to me. He was protecting me, and that made me so happy I almost forgot the danger we were in.

"Master..." I tried to pull myself upwards, but I couldn't do it. I was still lying there on the ground, damaged and weak—like the Ruby lying a few feet away, who had been poofed after our battle.

He turned around and smiled—it was filled with teeth, jagged and sharp, and while it was almost like all his other smiles, I could tell when one wasn't real. "You did well, Pearl. But not well enough," he told me.

"Master?" I questioned, now slightly terrified.

"And I'm very unhappy right now," he continued lowly, before plunging his blade into my hand.

I gasped and bit back a scream, my eyes widened in pain. I looked up slowly, my irises shrinking in fear. So why are you still smiling? What did I do wrong? I remember wondering, so confused and lost and shocked that he'd hurt me.

He paused, sighing. "Oh, Pearl..." He reached out and caressed my cheek. "Did I scare you?"

I nodded meekly, tears streaming down my face as I scrambled to understand the Gem in front of me.

"Why don't I give you another chance?" he offered, his voice too kind and his smile too sharp.

Despite those warning signs, I just wanted to please him. I just wanted to make it up to him; make up for whatever I'd done wrong. "Yes, please—" I began to beg, but I never finished.

He leaned closer and whispered, "If I poof you, will you come back to me?"

I froze, cold and rigid. "What...?"

"Will you do that for me? Or will you leave forever, like all the others?" he asked, pulling back. He was still smiling.

"I-I'll come back," I stuttered, crying hard now. I couldn't smile back, I was so scared and unsure of the situation I was in. But he was asking me if I would be there when he needed me most, and he was still talking about those who'd betrayed him. I wasn't them. I was going to forgive him for everything, or else he'd never forgive me, and that felt like a punishment worse than being poofed. "I'll always come back," I whispered.

"Promise?" His grin stretched wider.

"Yes." I was at the end of the tunnel. The fall was over, and I'd broken myself crashing to the ground. I'd always thought I would be the one above him, trying to grab his hand and stop him from crashing. But instead, somewhere along the line, when it had been too dark to see, he'd moved out of the way and let me fall beneath him.

Or maybe he'd just always been on top.

The fall may have been over, but it wasn't a light at the end of it that greeted me. It was a blazing inferno, swallowing me up before I could even take a breath and try to pull away. It was too late. I'd been blinded by the light, unable to see the flames beneath me. And now I had crashed and burned.

He smiled until his eyes were slits, and it became impossible to tell if there was any love in his gaze. "Let's test that theory out," he announced, raising the sword above his head.

My eyes widened but I slammed them shut, readying myself for the blow. My mind screamed and I wanted to scream right back.

I hadn't found a Gem at the end of the tunnel... I'd found a monster.

"Let him go."

Carnelian spun around, the smile vanishing as he saw someone blue and battered struggling upwards on his elbows. "Lapis," he hissed.

Lapis Lazuli groaned, opening his eyes and glaring back fiercely.

I struggled to form words, to tell him to stop it, that this was between us, that I wanted this. But I couldn't do it. The words were stuck in my throat.

Lapis dragged himself upwards. "You may have poofed that Ruby and cracked Bismuth's gem during this battle, but I'm still here. And I'm going to shatter you if it's the last thing I do. First you hurt the love of my life, Sapphire—he still suffers because of you, you monster. Then you never let Bismuth go, and when she leaves, you hurt her too. You hurt Unakite with all your experiments and harsh words, and now you're hurting the only loyal member of your team left? You're a disgusting monster, Carnelian. And I'm going to shatter you for everything you've done."

I was frozen again, shocked by the news. The Ruby hadn't been poofed from the fall? Carnelian had done it to them?

"Pearl, would you mind finishing him for me? I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of battling me," Carnelian cooed.

"I-I..." I trailed off, still unable to comprehend this new development.

Lapis gazed back at me, steadfast and sure. "You don't have to do that," he told me. "You don't have to fight his battles for him or listen to him. Not anymore. Turn away from him and do as you wish. Do it for yourself this time."

"You don't understand... I'm a Pearl, of course I have to," I said, my voice breaking. I didn't deny that shattering Lapis Lazuli wasn't what I wanted. But it was what Carnelian wanted and...didn't I want what he wanted?

"So do it," Carnelian whispered. "You said you have to. Do it for us, Pearl."

I stood up on wobbly legs, pulling my weapon out from my gemstone. My hands were shaking, and I couldn't focus with all the tears blurring my vision.

"DO IT!!" screamed Carnelian.

Lapis leaped forward.

I winced, my feet rooted to the ground. I knew I needed to dodge, but I couldn't get my body to listen to me. Everything felt detached, like I was pulled apart at the seams. I could hear Carnelian screaming at me, but he sounded far away, like I was underwater and drowning—but Gems didn't drown. And Gems didn't have hearts either, yet I felt as though mine were pounding in my chest, roaring in my ears, trying to break free of my ribcage—another thing I didn't have.

However, Lapis' attack never landed on me. The whoosh of air whistled past me and I spun around, spotting Lapis tackle Carnelian to the ground. "For Sapphire, for Bismuth, for Unakite, and for Maroon Pearl!" the blue Gem hissed, ready to rip out my master's gemstone.

"No!" I gasped.

"Pearl, do something!" Carnelian shrieked.

Lapis turned to me. "It's okay now," he said, smiling. It was the first genuine smile I'd seen in a long, long time.

I managed to relax, his smile sending me into a state where fear could no longer reach me. I even smiled back.

Carnelian slammed his feet upwards into Lapis' chest and sent the other Gem flying. "You do not touch me!" he roared, seething as flames burst from his hair and hands, glowing sparks that streaked the gray sky orange.

Groaning, Lapis sat up only to be met with a sword thrown through his chest. His eyes widened and he met eyes with me—mine had grown into saucers as well, and I covered my mouth with my hands as a cloud of smoke suddenly poofed around Lapis. When it disappeared, so had he. The only thing left behind was the blue gemstone of a lapis lazuli that clattered to the ground.

Carnelian spun around to me. "You've failed me for the last time!" he snarled. "Fetch me my sword so I can poof you and give you that last chance I was talking about!"

Last chance...? Fear gripped me again as I scrambled to the sword. This wasn't just a monster greeting me at the end of the tunnel, it was my worst nightmare. And yet, it was still him—my beloved Carnelian.

I grabbed the sword but paused when I saw Lapis' gemstone glinting in the light. Tears streamed down my face as I whispered, "I'm sorry," even though I didn't know who I was apologizing to anymore. Maybe everyone. Then I trekked back to Carnelian and held out the sword.

"Good," he purred. "Now give the sword to me, Maroon Pearl. Let me poof you and give you another chance."

This is your last chance, I told myself, feeling dizzy and detached. You might as well do it.

"Give it to me," he coaxed, reaching out...

Do it. You won't have another chance. I paused, glancing back at Lapis Lazuli's gemstone. Had I apologized to him? Had I apologized to my master? Or was I apologizing to myself? Lapis' voice filled my head:

"Do it for yourself this time."

And that was when I stabbed the blade through my master's chest.

He froze, eyes widening as he stared back at me. "Pearl...?" he coughed out.

"My name is Maroon," I said slowly, too calmly, not realizing what I was doing, "Carnelian."

He looked shocked, and I sometimes wonder if it was because it was the first time I'd ever retaliated, ever talked back, ever demanded to be called "Maroon" instead of "Pearl", or ever called him "Carnelian" instead of "Master"—or maybe he was just shocked by the fact that I had stabbed him through the chest. Or maybe he was shocked by all of them.

His eyes were wide, but as the smoke began to rise from his skin like he was sizzling, it looked like he smiled a toothy smile, even chuckling, before he closed his eyes. Perhaps I'd only imagined it—the smoke was hard to see through, and the hissing sizzling sound was hard to hear through. The familiar cloud came, with the poof, as he disappeared into his orange gemstone and it fell to the ground.

I stared at it, before falling down on my knees. I picked his gem up and cradled it in my hands, whispering apologies maybe a thousand times, because it was all my fault. The tears came fast and hard, and I let them. I sat there, crying for a long time, until Lapis Lazuli regenerated from his gemstone and fell to the floor.

"Maroon...? Maroon, it's okay, I'm here for you," he gasped. He looked around wildly, until he found me in the carnage. We locked eyes, and his gaze softened as he saw the glinting orange gemstone in my hands. "Oh, Maroon..."

I didn't move as he flew over to me with his water wings and knelt down beside me. We didn't say anything for awhile.

"Maroon..." he began gently, finally attempting to break the silence.

"I thought I was going to let myself get poofed, but then I just...I-I betrayed him," I whispered quietly.

"You did what you had to. I'm proud of you, Maroon. You—"

"I thought I could fix him," I continued, my voice cracking. "But maybe he wasn't broken, and that was just the way he was built. You can't fix what isn't broken. Yet I still thought...I thought he wasn't built right, that I could change that—that I could change him; change us."

Lapis paused. "...I know," he murmured back.

"I loved him."

"I know." He sighed softly and wrapped his arms around me. "It's okay," he whispered. "He can't hurt you anymore."

I cried into his chest for a long, long time, still mumbling "I'm sorry" over and over again. Carnelian couldn't hurt me anymore, but I was already damaged enough. So I let myself fall apart in Lapis' arms, because the first step toward fixing something was to break it. And that was the first step toward fixing myself.

#gemsona week #gemsona #literature #fanfiction #steven universe #steven universe oc #su oc #gem oc #kuku88 #my writing

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pa-awesome · 5 years

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Small Lies That Escalated Into “This Is My Life Now”

• I was a new graduate student freshly arrived in the US and very poor, and I couldn’t afford a laptop, so the only way I could communicate with my family was to hit up the library and use a public computer to email with them. Eventually my girlfriend back home wanted to skype, and I wanted a little privacy for this if you know what I mean, so I set about finding the most private computer available to me in the library. On a recon mission the day before the Skype, I located a single computer in a conference room and the next morning got up at 7am to account for the time difference and walked into the conference room with my eyes totally focused on the computer. I’d actually walked most of the way in before I realized there was a group of people around the conference table having a ridiculously early morning meeting. The guy at the head of the table, apparently thinking I’d showed up for the meeting and that I was heading towards him, handed me a paper that said “agenda” and said he was so glad a graduate student had shown up, then launched into the most incomprehensible talk about electrodes and chemistry. Meanwhile I know my girlfriend is sitting halfway around the world thinking we’re going to have sexy time Skype and I’m blowing her off and I’m feeling desperate. But everything I knew about US culture was only based on movies, so I have no idea if I can just apologize and leave or what. I miserably sat down for the incomprehensible meeting, rehearsing all the excuses I can give my girlfriend when we talk later. I was barely paying attention. Eventually questions were directed at me and I confess that I’m a new grad student and I don’t know much about the equipment they’re talking about. Everyone excitedly tells me all about it and I still don’t totally understand what they mean, except I’m starting to get that they’re going on a research expedition to [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] and they’re building a piece of equipment to bring with them. By the end of the meeting I am part of the project. 6 months later I am in [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] helping to operate this equipment. I appear briefly in the background of a Discovery Channel documentary (only black guy within hundreds of miles so easy to spot). I happily transfer to this other lab and this other field for my fully paid and stipended PhD. I am considered a real go getter, mainly based on my arrival at an early morning meeting no one else wanted to attend. New major, new field, new life because I was too awkward to admit I had just been in the room to sexy skype with my girlfriend.

• My freshman year of college I was walking around campus when a very friendly looking girl waved at me. I’m awkward, so of course I waved back. The next week, the same thing. This began the weirdest saga of my life. For the next two years, we greeted each other as old friends every time we came across the other. She knew my name (somehow?), I never could figure hers out and it was WAY too late to ask. I just pretended I knew who she was and why she knew me. Finally, I joined the honors program and entered my classes for my thesis. Who should be in this class but mystery girl! I was horrified. I wouldn’t be able to pass it off anymore. First day of class we are all sitting there chatting and she greets me by name, again. I had finally learned her name from attendance, thank God. Someone asks, finally, “oh, so do you two know each other? Where’d you meet?” Silence. I stare at her. She stares at me. Finally she breaks down wailing. “I don’t know! I don’t know, okay, we’ve just been waving at each other for two years and it was too late to ask!” Shes standing in my wedding next spring as one of my bridesmaids and very best friends.

• So I’m a visiting nurse and started seeing a patient 3 days/week for wound care. He was a paraplegic and didn’t get out much or have many visitors. He offered me a cup of coffee one morning, but I didn’t know him very well yet and was uneasy about drinking something out of unknown person’s kitchen. Plus, we are really not supposed to, but I could tell he just needed a little company. I told him I drink it black to keep it simple, never planning to have another cup. Next day, I come in and notice a little sticky note on his counter that said “Remember to make fresh pot of coffee for Rachael”. It was so touching to me that I went early every single appointment from that day forward to have a cup of black coffee. I hate black coffee but I felt it was too late to tell him I liked creamer after all. I drank black coffee with him for 3.5 years and he became a good friend until he passed away…

• I was a simple retail employee, basically been doing it since I got out of highschool. Made the old college try but ended up not pursuing anything more than an AA. I worked with a lot of people I really liked and admired for one thing or another and I just wanted to fit in with them. Compared to the stories they told I always felt like I had done nothing with my life or time. One slow day stories are being exchanged and the conversation rolls back to me so I blurted out that I was a photographer in my off time and went on a long history about my years in photography with film and my own dark rooms. I told countless lies about the difficulty of transitioning from film to digital but still kept my old film cameras for certain types of shots. I fucked up. Of course everyone wanted to see my work, I weaseled and told them I would bring stuff in but of course had nothing to show. That night after work I went to bestbuy and maxed out my credit cards to get a lot of camera equipment, indent on a tirade of learning everything I could, signed up for community college courses on every type of photography I could sign up for. All so I could hide the mountain of shame I created. I started taking pictures every morning at dawn and every evening I could get out of work before sunset. I worked as an assistant to a wedding photographer for free for 3 months on top of all that to fill out a portfolio that hadn’t existed up to this point. Everyone was so happy looking at my work that I couldn’t bring myself to stop! I kept at it; I hiked trails that I didn’t think I could hike just to get that perfect hard to find view of a sunrise the next day, I started doing weddings and parties by myself for free to capture the perfect picture out of thousands so I could show it off, I started traveling the world so I could validate the photography adventures I told stories of. It’s been a spiraling mountain of lies, but at the end of the day I discovered my love of photography through them and now it’s my whole career. Three hundred sixty-five days a year and I have never been happier!

• When I first got Married back in 2005, my wife asked me if I like Creamy Peanutbutter. I knew she did, so I told her “Yeah that’s great!”. She buys creamy peanut butter, I buy creamy peanut butter. About 3 years ago, she’s doing some experiment or something with our daughter and she needed chunky peanut butter. I saw it in the pantry and exclaim “Oh chunky peanut butter, I love this stuff!” to which she responds “… You do? I’ve been buying Creamy peanut butter all these years because you told me that was your favorite” So long story a little shorter, we both prefer chunky peanut butter by a large margin, but had been buying creamy for ten years because we both thought it was what the other preferred. Reading that back, we’re pretty boring people. yep :D

• I told my parents i bought a duck when I was 20 to tease them. I found a picture online of one and sent it to them. Sadly, they believed me. They got overly excited about their “grand-duck” and told my whole family. I ended up buying a duck…

• I was homeless, sleeping under a bridge in charlotte near the music factory. I needed a job so I dressed as best I could, which wasn’t very well, walked into a bar on 7th and lied about my work experience. They gave me the job , I started working that day. They paid me cash after every shift. I worked there for three years, became the manager, and now I love cooking. Never cooked a day in my life up till that point. A lady, in her 50s,who was acting as the kitchen manager trained me. She knew I lied, but she also knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t even cut a tomato. She saved my life. She didn’t tell anyone and kept training me even though sometimes I’d piss her off but I always tried to do better. I got an apartment a month into the job using another cook to call the apartment and let them know how much I get paid cause they wanted that for some reason. I was getting paid $11 under the table so nothing was on record which is why he had to call. I worked as a line cook immediately. It was overwhelming. I’m not from the city and the work was fast paced. I would study on my time off by watching youtube and cooking at home.

• I was looking for a job and I didn’t want to be a fast food manager anymore so I fluffed out my resume with computer skills I didn’t have. I was contacted by a recruiter who asked me some questions to gauge my abilities and I straight googled the answers as he was asking them. When I went to the interview, the boss had all of these circuit boards sitting all over his desk. I recognized them as Raspberry pis from Reddit. So I asked what he was using them for. The rest of the interview was just this guy bragging about all of these projects he had going on. He might as well have been speaking Greek. I just feigned interest and said wow a lot. I’m hired. Who knows how this shit happened but I have literally googled every problem I have been given. Day 543, they still think I know what I’m doing.I’m making 1.5 times what I was making as a manager. I have a GED for christsakes.

• I have one. A good friend of mine did not have an umbrella on a very rainy day. One of her coworkers offered her a lift home. One lift home turned into two, then three, until he was shuttling her to and from work everyday for months. This coworker is also a very good baker, he would make these lovely cakes and pastries and offer them to her which she politely took, every day. Then one afternoon, on her way home, he stops and picks up his parents. He happily introduces her as his girlfriend. She was shocked by this title to say the least.They proceeded to invite her to a family gathering over the long weekend to meet EVERYONE. His parents, they were so nice, she accepted because she didn’t have the heart to embarrass the guy. She went to the gathering, met with other family members and he kept introducing her as his girlfriend. She never worked up the nerve to correct or stop him. Long story short they are now married.

• Not me but my Dad. We moved and he was convinced the postman’s name was ‘Ger’ as in short for Gerry. He greeted him by it, nearly every day for about 10 years. We even gave him a Christmas card which he displayed down in the sorting office. Fast forward and we have a temporary post man, my Mum asking him after a few weeks 'When is Ger coming back?’ This was met with stunned silence and a puzzled look, with a resounding 'Who is Ger? No one works in the locality by that name’ Turns out, his name is Declan and he was too nice to correct my Dad for close to a decade.

• I didn't want to go to dinner with the gang from work, including my boss, so I told them I was having dinner with my wife and her parents. I lied. I get home, wife wants to go out to dinner. So, we head to the restaurant, and just as we're getting near the door, I see the work gang with my loudmouth boss all piling out of their cars. What are odds of us picking the same restaurant? Shit. Busted. There was an old couple walking into the restaurant in front of us. I held the door for them, and insisted they join us for dinner. They were quite perplexed, but accepted my offer of a free dinner. It was the most uncomfortable dinner ever. They had no clue who we were, none of us had any shared interests... they rushed through dinner, thanked us, and got the hell away from what I'm sure they thought were a couple of weirdos.

• Told a small lie to a girl I was texting that I love running, dunno how it sold because I was fat. Started running the second after I sent that. 5 years later I went from 298 to 180. Not bad.

• This is one that doesn't bother me. I had a coworker with memory issues or dementia and he called me Kevin once in awhile, not my name obviously. It made me laugh and one of my coworkers started calling me Kevin and telling new employees that's my name. This was 3 years ago and it is still going. at the same time I told my son who thought it was hilarious, and somehow it morphed into me calling him Kevin, and my cat too. So I would yell downstairs, "Kevin, is Kevin down there?". My son told his best friend, and they started calling each other Kevin. Now when I see my son's friend I call him Kevin. for this story to come full circle, my son and said friend came to my office and I introduced them as my son Kevin and his friend Kevin. also my sister now calls my son Kevin.

• 40 years ago, when I was my final secondary school (high-school) year, I decided that I wanted to be a Civil Engineer and study Civil Engineering. My father, who probably had some doubts about my choice, arranged for me to spend a week in a civil engineering office owned my a friend of his. I spent a week there and definitely knew one thing afterwards - that I did not want to become a Civil Engineer! So... a couple of months later, I was walking through the centre of town and met the owner of the Civil Engineering company that I had spent the week with. He says: "Hey, 1000000CHF, how are you? Still planning on becoming a Civil Engineer?" I'm a bit flustered (as I often was at that age) and don't know what to say, so I say: "No, actually I've decided to study eh... hmm... Computer Science" (The 1st lie) He says: "That's great. A career for the future." We say good-day and go upon our separate ways. A few weeks later, while I'm actually sitting my final school exams, he calls me and says "Hey, 1000000CHF, I'm starting a computer company, would you like to join?" I say: "But, but... I'm about to start University to study Computer Science" (The reinforcement of the 1st lie) He says: "Great! We'll pay your University and you work all your spare hours for us." So I was trapped. Because of my lies I ended up studying Computer Science in a top University and getting a great degree and postgrad degree while earning a full income on the side (this was the 80s). But the silver-lining was that I actually fell into a career that I absolutely love and never want to quit. Forty years later I still get enthusiastic about interesting new technologies and have created two successful I.T. companies that are still operating. I'm actually in the process of creating another this month. Despite the management tasks, I still succeed in spending over 70% of my time doing what I love - developing modern, quality software. Clients and developers that work with me respect my opinions and are very often surprised at how I stay on top of the technology trends. But what I really derive my career satisfaction from is knowing that there are millions of people out there using software that I designed and wrote every day.

• One time when I was 17, I was hanging out at my then-girlfriend's house with her and her little sister. Little sister was watching Spongebob and they jumped up to go in the other room leaving me along to watch TV. Being polite, I didn't change the channel. In walks mom and sees me watching Spongebob and she asks me "Hey IHABTom, you like that show?" I reply, again trying to be polite, "Yep!" So every year since then I've gotten Spongebob SOMETHING from my now-wife's parents. I'm 33. I hate that sponge.

• In 4th grade I lied and said I was going to a track meet to impress some friends in class when the teacher asked if anyone was going. I went home and told my mom I needed to sign up for it. I was never good at athletics at this time in my life. I ended up going to the track meet, it was a 400m race I was entered in, I remember the moment the gun went off I immediately went into a mode I had never remotely gone into before, I was actually ultra competitive for once in my life. I was neck and neck with another kid for the first place spot the entire race, and going into the final stretch I felt like puking and every fiber of my body was burning and he was pulling away. Something came over me and I kicked it into psycho mode and pushed past him for the win and my legs felt like noodles and I collapsed and couldn’t get back up. That race qualified me for a regional meet, I did that one and won again in similar fashion, then went to the state meet and got my ass handed to me. That started me down a long line of running long distance which involved being one of the best in the nation in high school and getting a scholarship to run in college, and trust me the training at that level consumes your life (100 mile weeks), so it was definitely my life at that point.

• This is pretty harmless but when I first met my boyfriend he was telling me about his Star Wars Lego collection and I, being polite, said something like "Oh Wow, I love Lego." Because I did love Lego, when I was 10. This was about 5 years ago and I think adult Lego was just becoming a really big thing, with the Creator houses and modular sets. Anyway, he took this comment and ran with it, as all the little gifts he bought me for the first few years of our relationship were Lego based. A little cottage set, pretty cute. A rebuildable calendar, practical and cute. A house that's a pen holder, I'm ok with that. I would photograph the completed sets and put them on instagram and then other people started buying me Lego sets and minifigures. And before I knew it my entire living room was basically Lego. I did admit to my boyfriend last year that I wasn't as into Lego as everyone assumed - people send me links to the newest products and anything even remotely Lego based on Facebook. He knew, but enjoyed building sets with me anyway and I seemed to have fun doing it. Which I did. But at some point I just sat on my couch and looked at all these plastic bricks that I was surrounded with and asked myself how this even happened.

• Wasn't a drinker in high school so to shut down peer pressure I told them I was born with half a liver and drinking anything could make me very sick or kill me. The lie just became natural and followed me to college. Was out with some friends playing pool and decided to have a beer. When I came back, a buddy slapped it out of my hand thinking I was suicidal. Then the explanations began...

• I was really desperate for an A on my final project for Chinese so I asked my mom(who's a native speaker) for help. Well it worked, the teacher was impressed and I got the grade I wanted... but next year I had the same teacher and she had really high expectations. I end up studying for hours every day while asking my mom to help with my homework for months. Eventually my Chinese got to a point where my mom would look at it and almost always confirm that it was correct(and not grammatically awkward). So yeah. Learned a language to cover up cheating on a single project the year prior.

• My husband works as a data analyst and codes programs and apps for the business side of the company. Once they make an app, it needs an icon to go along with it when it launches. They usually use the company designer, but one day one of his co-workers submitted an icon design for their new app (one my husband had worked on) and others followed. People kept submitting art, so they made it a contest (no prize, just glory). When he got home, he told me about it and then asked if I was interested in joining. That night I did a quick design, he fell in love with it, and asked me to finish it so he could submit it. So I did... Time passed, my drawing won, and they made it the app icon. Eveything was great, until the day his team was in a meeting with the company VP. The VP had heard about the icon competition and asked who had submitted the winning app icon. One of my husband's co-workers quickly called out his name before he could say anything. The VP was impressed and then said that he deserved a reward (money reward) for his work. Surprised and too embarrassed to correct the VP, my husband just stayed quiet. Not denying the information made everyone believe he was the artist. He doesn't have an artistic bone in his body. When he got home, he told me the story and gave me the money for my work. I thought it would end there... but it didn't! When their next app was ready for launch someone asked him to make an icon for them because they loved his previous design. He could have put an end to the misinformation then but he was too embrassed, so he said yes. He got home and asked me to make the icon, he even said he would pay me. I found the situation hilarious so, after laughing at him, I agreed... plus I was getting paid. This has gone on for a while (about 3 years), I have made about 5 icons for the company under my husband's name. He has been pretty dedicated to keeping up the lie all these years. He has asked me about my process of thought when I draw, so he can tell his co-workers about his method. He asked me about my tablet and the program I use. He brain storms about the drawings with his co-workers and tells me what they want. And when I'm too busy to draw, he tells his co-workers how HE is too busy to draw. By now it's our little secret and it has turned into an inside joke. Right now I'm supposed to draw a new icon but I have been so busy that I haven't had time. So when I see him playing games or chilling on the couch I tease him by saying, "Shouldn't you be drawing right now?"

#repost #story #liar #lies

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aquarianlights · 5 years

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I always think it's awesome that you're pursuing in an advanced field that's extremely challenging. I always miss talking to you even if you got mad at me (sorry). I miss knowing how your day was on a constant basis, even as boring as you boiling water for your tea, I just loved knowing anything no matter how big or little happened in your day. but anyway there's so much about you I'm in love with and this is one of those things I like, the part you're doing something extremely challenging

This really made me smile, so thank you.

There are times when I really want to give up, but those times are rare.

There are times when I am sitting in class and scared out of my mind because I didn’t understand *anything* that our professor just went over and I look around the room and feel like everyone else gets it so easily and I’m the only one not getting it. I recently had a small breakdown about that and had to drive over to a friends house and talk long and hard all night with her about whether I was doing the right thing or not going into medicine.

99% of the time, I’m so freakin’ happy with what I’m studying. I love that it challenges me. I love that it’s new and exciting and that I’m getting to learn things that can and will help others someday. I just have such an intense passion for medicine and I never in a million years thought I would go this path because I always thought it was just “too hard” and that “people as stupid as me don’t go through med school coz they won’t ever make it past premed, nevertheless through the MCAT, residency, and boards and everything else.” That’s why I chose not to do it my freshman year (which was a mistake) and changed majors so many times trying to turn my hobbies into passion, when the one thing I had wanted my whole life was the thing best for me all along.

I still feel like I’m the slowest one in the class because everything always came so naturally up until I started taking courses related to my major. I never had to study all through school and even through all of my gen-ed classes in college. Never once did I spend any time studying and I spent the absolute BARE MINIMUM on every single assignment and I would rarely ever be in class and I wouldn’t do any material assigned that wasn’t graded, yet I would still pass with an A with no problem. Literally EVERYTHING thus far (other than math) has come that naturally to me. I’ve never had to try at anything academic other than math. And even that, I put in the bare minimum effort on and would still scrape by with a C every time.

But now… now I’m in some very daunting classes. They’re just insanely difficult and nothing prepared me for just how difficult they were going to be. I knew it was all going to be hard, but I never in a million years thought it would be this hard because of my past academic skills.

I’m naturally book-smart. It’s my thing. I don’t really have anything else going for me. If I fail at the one thing I love most and the one thing that has made me happier than anything else…Idk what I’m going to do.

But I genuinely do feel like I’m the only one in the class not understanding all this stuff.

I sit front and center, literally. Right in front of my professors. I’m extremely interactive in class. I ask questions, I answer questions, I offer up anything my professors ask for in terms of volunteers or what have you. I’m constantly engaged during every second of the class. I run study groups that I meet with after classes or on weekends. I practically live in the on-campus lab. I meet with my professors during their office hours to go over things I don’t get or questions I got wrong on tests/quizzes. I spend all of my free-time with the materials. I am just constantly surrounded by this stuff and so, so, SO busy because of it. And I love that! I absolutely love it!! But I’m also extremely frustrated because it takes me so long to catch on and learn things and sometimes I don’t feel like I understood the thing at all but don’t have time to dwell on it or study it any more to understand it because we’re already 2+ chapters ahead and I just can’t stop to try to fully understand one thing anymore because of how intense these classes are.

Idk. Maybe I’m not the only one not getting it. Maybe I’m just paranoid and imagining it. But it truly feels like I’m constantly the one being left behind in my courses. And I’m just terrified for the MCATs. It makes me feel sick all the time because I didn’t pursue this in the beginning because I felt I was too damn stupid to ever be adept at it and now I took a shot and went for it and I’ve never been happier these years and what if… just, what if I was right? What if I really am too stupid to do this?

Idk. I need to stop dwelling on it all the time, but it has really been consuming my thoughts lately. Especially since we’re on all this endocrine system stuff and for the first time, an entire system is just not clicking for me no matter how hard I go at trying to understand it.

I certainly didn’t think this would be easy, but I also didn’t think it would be this hard. Idk if it’s because of my past of never having to work at anything academic prior to now or what, but good god I feel scared all the fucking time that I made a mistake, despite how much I love absolutely everything about this field. :/

#pre-med #premed #that premed life #medical major #medicine

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slowlyfadedz-blog · 7 years

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I knew he was the love of my life the first time he made me laugh. Oh boy my naive 9th grade self was no where near prepared for the bound of emotions to come pouring out. I was so star struck by one of my high schools big time football players, he was a whole year older than me. He was a receiver and he was amazing at what he loved, so it wasn’t a shock everyone wanted to be his friend. He wore the number 42 for as long as I can remember, it became his identity. He had many different names but Well call him “The boy”. “The boy” was beautiful to me like nothing I have ever seen. I truly did not think someone so perfect would pay me any attention. But he did, he gave me every ounce of his attention and I yearned for it daily. Slowly he was starting to not just be the boy from 1st period. We would walk everywhere together, after every period. We made up special meeting spots in the hallways, people started to catch on. But back then I was a nobody, a tiny little freshmen in a big high school hanging out with the hot shot star athlete… who the hell did I think I was right? We hung out constantly but never would kiss or do anything. We just wanted to be with each other. “The boy” made me feel secure at a very young age. We started dating at the end of freshman year. I trusted him with my life… literally. I decided to start bringing him around my best friend at the time… that was my first mistake right there. 10th grade came around and she had bio with him. They were lab partners but I was cool with it because you think you can trust your best friend right? No wrong. Very very wrong. One Friday night I’m sleeping at his house and his phone goes off unusually late. So I pick it up to look at it, it’s my best friend sending him nudes or herself. Her message read “Don’t let her see”. Don’t let her see… don’t let your best friend see that you’re sending her boyfriend

nudes of yourself. I was so livid I didn’t know what to do, how could I possibly sleep next to the person who is getting nudes from one of my friends I mean who knows if that was the first time right? I told him to make it stop or lose me. And I thought it stopped until a month later same scenario but he was in the bathroom this time, looked through “The boys” phone and still saw nudes of my friend well used to be friend.. I haven’t spoken to her since I first found out, I think she knows why… I called my mom and left that night. I didn’t answer any of his calls or texts. They started dating. They dated for two weeks before he left her. “The boy” texted me and said it was just to get back at me for leaving. He was petty. But I was petty too never with him. Why would I be? The dynamic of our relationship changed this day. I didn’t answer him. I was strong. I was strong for the summer. I ignored the fuck out of “The boy” . He didn’t know what to do with himself. Junior year began and I was so excited to get it over with and be a senior. But it was his senior year… our last year forced together everyday. I started the year with a empty feeling in me. Going through the halls I saw him a couple times. Of course I did, a school filed with thousands of kids and some of his classes are by mine. Lucky me. I tried to act like I didn’t see him, become overly involved with my friends conversations protecting myself from hearing his voice or feeling his eyes burning into my side. Remember now he was a tower compared to me… I couldn’t hide… ever. 4th period came and I had study hall, I walk into the class a minute late and every seat is filled.. except one. The tables were set up in pairs. Lucky me. It was “The boy”. I sat there and wouldn’t look at him for a couple minutes.. but I felt them.. his eyes burning into the side of my face. He was staring at me. The class attendance came around and as I went for my pen in my bag he handed me his and held it too long for comfort without letting go. I let out a small thanks and said to myself fuck. Fuck. It was over. Why did I have to see him. A whole 38 minutes sitting next to each other. I tried to throw myself into my phone… he snap chatted me.. it was a picture of me. I got up and told the teacher I was going to the bathroom.. I went to Lopez’s office and sat with her. She knows everything she was my therapist. I never went back to study hall that day. Next period came and I had gym. I had gym with all of the athletes and a couple girls I was close with. First day of gym you sit on the bleachers and they have a mini orientation. I’m having a conversation with my friends about summer and how I didn’t talk to “The boy” at all. I felt someone sit on the other side of me but I was talking so I thought oh just someone else in this class. My friends looked like they saw a ghost. I turn around and almost choked on my “oh hey”. It was “The boy” again. Lucky me. I had gym with him? Really why me. I couldn’t escape I felt my chest getting tight. He kept trying to talk to me about nothing really. Passing me the ball, he ignored his friends everyday. We started talking more and more. I thought to myself… fuck.. its happening. And I let it happen. Again I was right back where I was comfortable. With him. But I refused and I fought myself. I told “The boy” to go get another girlfriend… I was happy with someone else… it was a lie…but he really got a girlfriend. He rubbed it in my face as much as he could. But I remained strong. We were best friends. I wouldn’t let him touch me. But we would still talk everyday. I started going back to study hall. We started walking together till he had to meet his girlfriend. I hated her. I didn’t know her. But she had him. And he was mine. I hid how I felt. For a while. We teased each other.. I went crazy and kissed him. Bad idea. We had sex for the first time in a while that night. I loved every second of it. I didn’t even think about his girlfriend… immediately didn’t feel good. I made him take me home and I ignored him again. I told myself no more. But I was lying to myself. I let him back in, we started hanging out all the time. His mom and sister loved me.. they hated her. We started talking more and more as if that was even possible. Texting all through school, walking in the halls, he started driving me home, wed text all through the night if we weren’t together.. once it hit 8pm we were on the phone. We would be on the phone until 3am. We never ran out of anything to talk about. Every single night we did this. And it became our new thing. We never grew tired of it. I started calling him in the morning to wake him up for school. I was shocked I was even up on time. His morning voice was the sexiest thing i have ever heard in my life. I loved it. We would never be all over each other in front of anyone. The end of junior year was coming for me but remember this was his senior year. So many things going on. Homecoming was amazing, big shot athlete scored the first touchdown on the new field. He was so excited. I couldn’t be more proud of him. That night was the dance and we grinded all night long. He’s so sexy. But he didn’t go home with me that night. He went home with her. It was the first time they had sex. He called me after it crying saying it wasn’t like me. I loved hearing him cry that he missed me. I hated him for being with her. He told me he couldn’t break up with her. I didn’t know why. He still told me he loved me everyday. Our relationship became toxic at this point. I just didn’t know it yet. We started fighting more and more. I would get mad at him for telling me things about other girls, he was a big flirt and I knew it. But at this point I didn’t like hearing it. I was insanely jealous. He got mad at me for being mad… he would stress that we were just friends when this happened……. we never acted like just friends anymore. He would get mad at me if I was out when we were supposed to be on the phone.. I couldn’t be out past 8… he’d be so mad. I started listening for a couple weeks. Then I hid going out. Graduation was in a couple weeks. He was leaving me and going to Utica to play football. I didn’t know what to do. But I was so insanely proud of him. I spent 300 dollars on him for graduation. He broke up with her. We were together and we had the summer. I couldn’t be happier. We did everything together, I slept at his house every night. I thought I could never be happier. We still did our old little things years later. He was leaving me soon. I didn’t wanna let go. I helped him pack and stayed with him until he left the next morning. I have never cried so hard in my life…or so I thought at this point.. and like that he was 400 miles away. Our daily phone calls increased. From mikes away he held on harder. We would constantly text. I knew his every move. And at night we would skype till 3 am, I needed to see his face. It was still summer for me.. he left early for football camp.. I wasn’t me. I threw myself into working, he would blow my phone up with messages and voicemails telling me I’m beautiful and he missed me. I was still so in love. Senior year came and again I started the year empty. My heart was not here in the building with me. But I was so excited to graduate.. and I had my girls by my side this year. We were doing good. It was just missing him that hurt the worst. Remembering everything we did here together. I only saw him holidays and a couple weekends I would take the 4 hour drive up to stay the weekend in his dorm. We would still fight constantly, over missing each other and him talking about girls. I never wanted to e jealous. I was just jealous they were seeing him and not me… even though they were just in his class. I couldn’t really complain. He never went out. He wasn’t a partier.. he stayed in Skype with me still all night. I loved him with everything in me. He only lasted a year in Utica, he transferred to temple hoping to walk onto the football team. He always had huge dreams. I loved that about him. I always pushed him to reach for them. Summer came back around and I didn’t see him as much. We were both working a lot. The fighting increased. We were both crazy. He cheated with his ex. I was so mad. I left him and he begged for me back. I said we remain friends and that lasted a week. I was too in love. He left for temple. Although closer still in a different state. We still were on the phone everyday. I tried giving him a little space to settle down. He refused to take it lol.. typical SJB. One day he didn’t answer all day. It was weird but I ignored it.. it’s rare that happens.. but it started happening more and more. The phone calls started stopping… I was confused. I was hurt. I was angry. I wanted to get in my car and drive there so bad. I wanted to know why but there’s not much I could do from miles away. He would tell me it was homework, or he was sleeping bc of practice. We had the same friends back home. One of them slipped up. He told me “The boy” was probably ignoring me because of some girl who goes through his phone. I didn’t know what to say. I was confused. I was that girl… who else would do that. I confronted him and he laughed. It was a friend and the person who told me was lying. He told me not to worry. Obviously I worried. Things got worse. They would tweet to each other. He said they were jokes. Then one day he tweeted something about “when bae leaves in the morning”… he ignored me the night before. I tried confronting him. He ignored me. She started commenting on his instagram pictures calling him babe. I commented the same thing. He deleted it. He ignored me. I was relentless. I told him she was ugly. He got angry. But she is ugly.. really ugly. Why would he do that? He told me I was too uptight, and she was there for him when no one else was.. it’s hard to be there for someone when they ignore you. He didn’t let me be there and he blamed me for it. He says he was depressed being in temple and she helped him. I tried helping him. I began to feel guilty for not being there. Was I pushing too hard? What did I do wrong? He asked her out on his birthday. March 25th 2016.

I was broken.

#love #bokenheart #highschool #sweerheart

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