#i can ramble about the weird little bitches in my brain forever

[the-starry-seas]

omg we both have star wars ocs! Isn't that crazy!

...I kinda wanna hear about them if you like sharing haha

I love talking about my OCs! And if you want to talk about yours 👀

Vinir is my favourite by far. He's a sneaky, cranky bitch through and through and I love that for him tbh. Professional killer and mercenary who loves nothing and no one except for his *counts on fingers* five droids. There's a reason I call him Droid Dad. He's aroallo (and if people still do face claims/refs for OCs, his is Sean Baek, specifically in his role as Fancy Lee from Killjoys).

He gets sent to spy on and potentially assassinate a Mand'alor (EXTREMELY long story here, but tldr adult Boba brought Jango back from the dead and Jango's having a grand time fucking with everyone). Problem being that he doesn't yet have orders to kill Jango when someone else tries... so Vinir's gotta save Jango's life to protect his payday.

He gets assigned as Jango's bodyguard after that, because Boba insists Jango needs some protection in light of a very-nearly-successful kill job. Jango's view on this is "I will accept a bodyguard to prove that I am better than him and don't need him."

And then Vinir can keep pace with him and the two of them form a begrudging alliance that develops into a qpr. There is a shitload of drama down the line when Jango finds out why Vinir showed up in the first place, but they settle things eventually. There's stabbing involved but that's practically a love language for these guys. Truly nobody else could ever fucking deal with either of them.

Racer is a close second, though. She's a clone trooper, part of an ARC squad to be specific. She's their demolitions expert and she is wildly irresponsible with this. (If her responsible older brother/squad leader keeps finding dud grenades in his bunk, that's totally not her.) They have a broken microwave that she keeps microwaving random things in to see what happens (they explode, except the space Furby, which starts sparking and gets them all in trouble).

She's a chaos gremlin to the max and loves horrible jokes and puns. If she can find a way to cause trouble and bother her brothers, she will take it and add some glitter. She loves all things fast, and is a part-time underground speeder racer, hence her name. She has plans to make a career of it someday and could probably be pretty good at it!

There is more complicated AU nonsense at play here, like there is for basically all my Star Wars characters. TLDR is her squad, the Aces, get time travelled into the future where they can do whatever they like without the war going on.

Racer promptly starts flirting with a pirate captain, and gets not only a cool new job as a pirate but *counts on fingers again* three cool girlfriends. She heard 'be gay do crimes' and took it to the absolute max. If you know The Orion Experience, that's her vibes, especially All Dolled Up and The Cult of Dionysus. I support her in all she does.

And Cam my beloved <3 He's dating one of Racer's brothers, Ember, and she is constantly at risk of getting Bonked for playing the grindr sound effect whenever she sees them holding hands. And the one time she played the wedding march.

He's a marine biologist with a particular love for the stingray tank. He and Ember have a meetcute where Ember literally trips and falls into Cam, and Cam catches him and takes him to lunch. Ember spends the entire lunch listening to Cam infodump about coral and Cam is ready to propose right then and there.

(Meanwhile there's some minor drama going on in the background, because Ember suddenly disappeared during a family outing and they're all mildly concerned he's been kidnapped or fell into the shark tank or got eaten by a kraken or something. Nope, all he fell into were those big brown eyes.)

His secondary love, besides the ray tank, is the shark tank. Ember's always a little nervous to see him diving in there, but Cam has three different sharks who consider him a friend, and he loves all of them in return. They've never tried biting him and he's good at what he does, so he's pretty confident and calm about swimming with the sharks.

He also knows sign language, which means he can talk with the mermaid performers when they're in the tanks. He's called the mermaid whisperer, and every so often he gets a letter from a kid on a field trip who saw him talking with them, asking how the mermaids are doing. He keeps every letter framed in his office.

#i can ramble about the weird little bitches in my brain forever #there are so many of them but i do have favourites #starry seas speaks

[lighthouseas]

hi all! i know that i haven’t posted for a while, but since the end of the year is fast approaching, i thought i’d make a post detailing my appreciation for my lovely mutuals . (if you saw this post earlier because tumblr was being a bitch, no you didn’t <3333)

anyway, without further ado- and in no particular order-

bee’s end-of-the-year MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST!!!

@hazmatazz - OHHH MAN. SILLY GUY ALERT. starting off strong with the lovely the amazing the fantabulous HAZ HAZMATAZZ. haz, being your friend and fellow Silly Squad member has been such an honor. you’re so funny and sweet and smart and make the best posts that make me giggle. and even though i don’t talk in it much, seeing so many Shenanigans go down in the discord server is seriously the funniest thing. I could just. squish you. you make me so happy and it’s an honor to be your friend. seriously hope 2024 treats you amazingly bc you deserve all of it <3333

@cannibalismyuri - SARA!!!! sara my lovely ohhh you are. the funniest. seriously. i have been reduced to Tears of laughter from posts on your blog. you have such an energy about you that is completely unmatched. even with Fandom Weirdness and the like, you’ve still pulled through and kept being your silliest self (and let me be silly with you which is awesome), and i commend you for that. aaaand not to get sappy or whatever but i really do look up to and admire you. you inspire me a lot. also, i love your new url. i want to eat it. pun intended. HAVE THE BEST 2024 EVER <3333

@qulizalfos - LIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. everyone listen up okay. liza is the loml IF ANYONE EVEN CARESSS. liza oh my god i adore you and your endless enthusiasm. seriously your comments on tsad are comments that i look back on when i need motivation because they’re just. so sweet. you are so sweet. we’ve only been mutuals since this SUMMER and yet it feels like we’ve known each other forever. i love screaming about things with you and i love the fact that my FIC is in your BIO??? HELLOOOO??? also okay. can we talk about your writing and art. liza i cannot say ENOUGH how talented you are. if i could staple your fics and art to the entire st fandom’s forehead so they would have to look at it forever then i would. your brain is so ginormous and the way you describe things and think about things is something i could only dream of doing. literally adore everything about you and wish i could hang out with you and wayli so we could all be a little insane together <33333 love you. LOVE YOUUUU I hope 2024 is awesomesauce for you <33333333

@wayward-sherlock - SPEAKING of wayli. oh wayli. if i had time to write a 10 page essay detailing how much of an impact you have had on me i would. seriously though you are just the sweetest, kindest, and most positive person ever. seeing you blow up my notes makes me grin So Hard because like oh man. wayli likes my blog. THEEE wayli thinks i’m cool. wtfff….anyway. you are so smart and it shows in your literally breathtaking writing and analysis (ANALYSIS FIRM!!!) you’re so perceptive and it honestly blows me away. reading your writing is so mesmerizing and just. sends me on an adventure. actually just scrolling through your BLOG sends me on an adventure because you always have the best stuff on there. honestly, I just wanna give you the biggest hug and tell you how awesome you are because rambling in a tumblr post simply is not enough. all’s that to say, i’m really looking forward to this coming year that will hopefully include more screaming about fanfiction in our discord messages and more of us being friends. because i love being your friend and it’d be so awesome if one day we could hang out together and be a tad Insane. doopel dopple gang STICKS TOGETHER AMIRITE?? anyway. i love you so much and wish you all the best in 2024 <333333

@antibyler - spencer HIII i know it’s been a minute since we last talked but can i just say that it has been an HONOR being your mutual this year. you’re so cool and fun and easy to talk to and also are a Fellow NHIE Fan which makes you even cooler. don’t think i’ve ever seen a bad opinion on your blog, which i know is saying a lot but it’s true To Me okay. seriously could never ever imagine Not following spencer basiltonpitch antibyler because like. that’s some essential dash content right there. THEEE blog to ever. makes the tumblr experience about 2034549650 times better. hope 2024 treats you wonderfully, my triple b mutual WOO <3

@versa-vices - FINNIEEEE!!!!!! you are my sunshine my special sunshine you make me happyyyyyyyy when skies are grayyyy….like actually though you are such a sunshine. seeing your comments on my posts never fails to make me giggle. a Silly Squad member that’s for sure. but like. being your tumblr bestie this past year has been so much fun. hanging out on the dash together and being Slightly Unhinged in the discord messages has been one of the highlights of my year. you’re so sweet and lovely and i don’t think it would be tumblr without you (those 10 minutes where you deactivated were HARD man okay. what am i supposed to do without u :(() okay anyhoo. thank you for being the bestest ever and hope 2024 treats you well <333

@light-lanterne - angel hiii! it’s been a bit since we’ve interacted but i needed to talk about how kind and patient you’ve been throughout literally everything because tumblr can be a little much sometimes. your kindness and determination to make so many beautiful graphics is absolutely incredible. i still look back on the graphics you’ve made for my fics sometimes, and it’s just…amazing. you’re so talented both in your art and your writing. when times got tough in the Fandom, i could always count on your blog to be a cozy and warm retreat from the craziness. it’s an honor to be your mutual, and i hope 2024 treats you kindly, because you seriously deserve it <33

@booksandpaperss - ELLI HIII!! holy shit one of my oldest mutuals. here when the ancient scrolls were written. elli , you have made my fandom experience so much more enjoyable. what with your huge brain and amazing takes, you always keep things real and i admire that about you. you’re also just. so easy to talk to. both because you’re ridiculously funny and also because you’re so nice to me like what. i love Discussing things with you, especially when it felt like we were sitting in a corner sipping tea and having a grand old time while the entire fandom went batshit. uscore fr. also, your comments on tsad…dude…they made me and STILL make me tear up. you read everything with such an attentive eye and then give the sweetest compliments on it. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. you’re just. so awesome okay. never forget that. hope u have a wonderful 2024 <3333

@karenchildress - hi jo!!!!!!!!!! i know we don’t interact as much but like. you’re such a joy to see on the dash i’m being so fr right now. how are you so funny like some of your posts still make me laugh to this day. you also keep things Real which i appreciate a lot, people tend not to do that nowadays T-T. we need more jo karenchildresses in the st fandom i think. things would improve marginally. anyway. keep being cool and fun and hope 2024 brings you much joy <3

@homohabu - oh man you’re just. you’re so nice. your blog is so inviting and has the loveliest colors all over it that make me very happy. you’ve always been so lovely to me and it makes me smile. you’re also another one of my oldest mutuals…and you’ve still stuck around through everything. thank you for having an awesome blog and being an awesome person! hope 2024 is good for you!!!!!!!!

@kuntniss - sierra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hiiiii it’s been a minute but can i just say that your blog makes me so so so super happy whenever i look at it. both your reblogs and original posts are just. great vibes. great vibes all around. you’ve been so nice to me this past year and it’s seriously been so wonderful interacting with you and looking forward to seeing your posts. being your mutual is so fun. i hope 2024 brings you so many good things, you deserve all of them <33333333

@weirdo09  - cade! i know you haven’t been online in a while but i just wanted to say that you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me this past year. you’re so creative and i loved hearing your ideas in my inbox and getting tagged in your wonderful. i hope you’re doing okay now, because you were honestly such a joy to see on the dash and in my notes. also, your ever changing themes were always a nice surprise to come across when i opened your blog, lol. hope 2024 treats you well :)

@holyvirgilscriptures - virgil !!!! oh my god i adore your blog so badddd like. i could seriously scroll through it forever it’s just banger after banger after banger. you always have the best takes on like. Everything. also FELLOW TAWOG BROTHER IN ARMS HELLOOOO !!!! BEST TASTE IN MEDIA AWARD GOES TO YOU MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. you have made this year so so so enjoyable just with the Existence of your blog. this coming year i hope we can interact a bit more because you’re super awesome <333 may 2024 bring you many good things! 

@ollsonline - oliver <3333 my lovely. since we became mutuals you have been nothing but the sweetest, kindest, friendliest person to me. you’re so welcoming to everyone and it absolutely warms my heart. you’ve been such an amazing friend to me this year and we should totally talk more because you’re super cool and awesome also!!! thank you for being the best and i hope 2024 treats you kindly <3

okay that’s all i’ve got! to any mutuals i did not get to mention: i love you so much. you have made The Tumblr Experience that much more bearable with your endless kindness. i love all of you so much, and am wishing you a happy new year through the screen! MWAH!!!!!!!

#if we are mutuals and i did not mention you here I PROMISE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH #i just have like. 40 mutuals and could not feasibly mention All Of Them but please know that i love and appreciate all of you and the #-interactions we have <3 #okay. if tumblr deletes this one im going to maul someone #bee.txt #mutuals 💫 #<- throwback tag #also pretend noah pimplepogue is here. okay. hes deactivated but he is here too in Spirit

[msmcnevertweet]

Into the Blind, and Wot I Like about Space Stuff

I've been working on this for a while in between breaks updating As the Sun Forever Sets. Why is my idea of a break from writing games just writing a different game? I have dumb bitch disease. I wanted to talk about some of the inspirations for it.

Welcome to The Rim

Into the Blind is a sci fi game about a group of gig economy workers living contract to contract on the roiling, wild edge of space. It's about CRT screens, mechanical keyboards, junction boxes, pipes and wires. It's about the unknown, the stresses of capital, and horror - visceral and ephemeral. It's about working hard jobs in dangerous conditions for little pay, and the chance of a better life. 

You are a Freelancer - Salvager, Shipbreaker, Courier, Bodyguard, Assassin, First Responder, Negotiator, Investigator, Debt Collector. A Freelancer is any and all of these, depending on the contract. You'll take whatever you can get to make ends meet. 

Every job you do balances your need to pay the rent on your ship against your desire to remain alive. Grab what you can, get paid, and stay alive.

If this sounds cool to you, you can grab a free preview (with the old name) below.

Let me show you my favourite space things

Ok, time for the self indulgent ramblings.

(Potential) Spoilers for: Gravity, Interstellar, Contact, Arrival, The Expanse, the Alien series, the Thing, Annihilation, Homeworld: Cataclysm and Magnetic Rose.

Physics and Feelings at 10km/s

There are a lot of sci-fi horror TTRPGS out there. Like a lot a lot. Mothership, Death in Space, the Alien RPG, You're in Space and Everything's Fucked, the list goes on and on. Not that that matters - people should make the games they wanna make and I wanted to make a scary sci-fi game with spaceships, so eh fuck it.

Something I realised while writing stuff for Into the Blind and working on the system is that the themes and feeling of a lot of the sci-fi stuff I'm into didn't revolve around a towering monster skulking around dark spaceship. Like, sure, Into the Blind will have a nasty alien somewhere, I don't need to say that I like Alien or talk about why it's good (I do, it is, and I'm going to), but there's more to write about than monsters. Space is already intrinsically stressful and horrifying:

Neil Degrasse Tyson and Chris Hadfield can shut the fuck up, Gravity has some of the scariest, tensest scenes in a movie I've ever seen in my fucking life. After watching this you could never pay me enough to go to space. The only enemy here is inertia, the only monster are the principles of physics that cause a cloud of debris to whip through orbit at 22,000 miles an hour.

Aside from the spectacle, Gravity is a film about finding the will to go on when you have nothing to live for and everything's against you. It's heavily implied that Dr Stone went to space because she's tired of existing on earth (or at least that's my read). She wants mercy and relief from the pain of her life, and watching it you want to gift it to her so badly, but the debris field crashes into her life over and over. It's a relentless, uncaring solar tide that returns like clockwork when to fuck her up any time she gets a break.

These extreme forces also generate incredible tragedy and loss. Interstellar is kind of a dumb movie but despite the memes about this scene it always gets me. You don't know what you have until it's gone, and sometimes the distance between you knowing you've lost something and it becoming lost can (thanks to black holes and weird gravity stuff) slip by you in an age that feels like an instant.

Both Gravity and Interstellar have soft, beating hearts encased behind the layers of radiation shielding, technobabble and worn metal, and when the colossal forces that make the universe turn rip it open, they're laid bare.

That's a fucking cool thing to make a game about!

Indistinguishable from Magic

I'm not a big brain science person, when it comes to wormholes, relativity, folding space time and all that, I don't really get it. I just know that it's cool as hell and opens the door to powerful character stories about finding meaning and confronting your feelings at the edge of our understanding of reality.

Contact and Arrival are two sides of the same movie to me. Both are heavily grounded in big Theory and big Science Words, both are about powerful sciencey girlbosses who've lost something dear to them (one in the future, one in the past.) Contact leans more towards the hard science approach, but both are at their best when they're balanced on the edge of the plausible and the implausible. They're both about the incredible, incomprehensible nature of the universe. They're both about people who change the world, in ways both vast impercievable to everyone else.

They're both stories of hope and benevolence, but Contact frames this through 90's optimism and the power of nations working together towards a common goal (it's so optimistic, even the villain-coded megacorporation decides to help out, which uhhhh), Arrival frames these themes through personal tragedy - Dr Banks pays a high price to save humanity from itself.

Behind the calculations and clipboards and theories, these are stories about personal discovery, love and heartache.

These are also fucking cool things to make games about!

Magnetic Rose is probably the single biggest influence on Into the Blind - there's a full adventure heavily inspired by it in the preview. It's just so good. The visual design and animation are simultaneously grounded and real yet brilliantly beautiful and surreal. It's tragic gothic horror at the dark, gritty edge of space, and it's so good at being sad. The penultimate scenes in heart of the tomb-like space station, surrounded by rank brown water and decaying metal are heartwrenching. Heintz is tormented by visions of his past and you feel it so hard. The film doesn't care to tell you how this is all happening - are his memories ghosts? holograms? hallucinations? It only cares about the why, and it's incredible.

Breathable Air Prepayment Meters

It's been ages since I watched The Expanse, so I'm not gonna dwell on it too much, but what I remember focused heavily on how capital and government care little about those they govern and sell to.

The level that our existence is monetised and used as a cudgel against us currently can surely only expand along with our expansion into the stars. You can go there right now if you have enough money to do so, and when life beyond earth becomes feasible, the companies that financed it will need someone to clean the ducts and polish the solar arrays. The amount of things that can be sold to you can only increase out in space. You think rents are high now? Wait till you see the price of a 1 bedroom apartment in orbit around Mars. Add nice breathable mix of nitrogen and oxygen to your list of monthly outgoings. You think you'll be able to repair your C02 scrubbers without voiding the warranty? Fuck no.

The Alien movies are obviously (despite what some grognards on twitter dot com will tell you) deeply about extreme capitalism. The galaxy is ruled by companies that could not care less about you, and the bottom line is all that matters. This kinda matters less and less as the films wear on, but the first 3 are all about working class people sacrificed on the altar of the interstellar dollar.

Alien 3 in particular has a lot of problems, but the edgy teen in me is still really fond of this scene. It's doing a Big Foreshadow (Do you get it? The alien is like.. the flower he's talking about right? But the flower is bad?) But it feels like an appropriate lament for prisoners on the ass end of space. Despite what the company wants you to believe, the inmates of Fury 161 don't deserve to die, aren't expendable.

We all have flowers within us waiting to grow, out from the shadow of capital.

You might've noticed mentions of a nasty guy in those last clips.

Ok fine, also Monsters

We all love a little nasty guy, I cannot resist the pull of the weird monster that does Big Themes. Like I said, there's so much TTRPG stuff focused on them for good reason And space is ripe for the nastiest of guys.

There's really nothing more to be said about The Thing, it just fucking rules. It's a movie that cares as much about what a monster can do to peoples bodies as what it can do to their minds and relationships.

What a horrible fate for Sheppard. The idea of Annihilations mutant bear is just so sinister it makes my gut drop whenever I re-watch it. Again, not much else to be said about this movie. It rips.

Homeworld: Cataclysm is a weird game. It's a survival horror.. strategy game? Set in space? Where you never see a single person?? And somehow it's voice acting and plot is incredible???

The Beast is the nickname for the microorganism that emerges from the millenia old wreckage the mining vessel Kuun-Lan happens upon whilst scouring deep space for valuable minerals. The threat it presents is so real and visceral, it's one of those "if this hits our planet, it's so over" monsters, and it's obscenely scary and gruesome. Even the Bentusi, a race of nigh-on ageless benevolent machine beings are absolutely terrified, and try to abandon the galaxy in the face of it (they fear their biological minds will be trapped in their machine bodies if they're taken over by The Beast, locked in and forced to watch what it does to the galaxy. Damn.)

The scene where you and your fleet fight the Bentusi as they try to evacuate known space to force them to help you is intense and incredible. You're fighting gods, and all you can do is crash against their incredible technology again and again like a stiff breeze, pleading for help and humanity. You shame them into taking responsibility for helping the mortals in the galaxy against this ancient threat. That's the fear inspired by The Beast.

Thank you for coming to my Space Ted Talk

I told you it was self indulgent huh. Hopefully this goes some way to explaining what I'm going for with this game. Not only monsters, but the experiences of people trapped by incredible forces of nature, corporations and circumstance. Not only horror, but exploitation, sadness, love, longing and loss. Thanks for reading.

Again, if you want to check out Into the Blind, you can get the free preview below, and follow me on Itch to get notified for when game releases (soon? idk)

#ttrpg #indie ttrpg #ttrpg design #horror #science fiction #y'all ever go on a spaceship and cry #incredible self indulgence #am I accidently doing a Substack on tumblr dot com?

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers With an MC That’s Only Soft for Them

So, cute Headcanons are my kryptonite! Please enjoy, my fluff loving brethren!

Lucifer

We at Stupid Headcanons inc. recommend that MC does not inflate this bastard’s ego further, but if they choose to…

Lucifer, the morning star, a high ranking demon, does not need MC’s affection… that was a lie he C R A V E S it.

This pairing is actually quite complimentary, Lucifer is only soft for MC, MC is only soft for Lucifer, perfectly balanced.

MC shouldn’t expect Lucifer to be too reciprocal to their affections in public until they’re both neck deep into the relationship, but in private, hoo boy.

The “good job!”s, the hugs, the quick pecks on the cheek, all of it just made Lucifer practically melt. He adores all the affection, and it’s all for him.

Finally, someone in this house appreciates him…

“Lucifer, try not to overwork yourself, if you need anything, just ask, okay?” “Thank you, MC.” “Hey MC! I need help, pass me the remote.” “YOU CAN WALK OFF A CLIFF BELPHIE! Love you, Lucifer.”

And to be honest, some of the roasts are funny, but MC, dearest, please dial down the sass near Lord Diavolo.

Mammon

Of course MC’s favourite is the Great Mammon! Heh, who else would it be? Not that he needs this human’s affection or anything!

…screw it, please MC, give him more head pats.

Hand holding, hugs, resting his head on MC’s lap… Mammon’s really living the life.

In public Mammon is constantly trying to get MC to shower him in praise and affection in his own weird tsundere kind of way. It’s good thing MC is always willing to give their demon all the love they have.

It just makes him so happy that all of MC’s affection belongs to him, it makes his greedy little heart sing.

MC’s love and care tragically does not save him from being caught for his shenanigans, but MC, stone cold bitch that they are, will always do something bad to get strung up next to him.

“MC, what’re ya doin’ here?” “Oh you know babe, just hanging around.”

Nothing makes him smile more than when they stick up for him, to MC, he isn’t scummy trash, he’s the great Mammon! Their super amazing guardian! He does what he can to live up to MC’s image of him!

Since Mammon’s super supportive of his human, he’ll always provide reaction sound affects whenever MC delivers a verbal smack down.

Levi

MC likes him? Must be a joke. Who’d like a gross Otaku like him…?

The human exchange student apparently.

They’d listen with a look of pure adoration on their face whenever Levi would ramble about his favourite anime, they’d help him organize his figurines, they’d play video games with him…

Man… MC’s really playing the long con here on this practical joke.

When Levi isn’t drowning in self doubt, he absolutely loves how sweet and gentle MC is around him, a side only he gets to see… *swoon*

A cold mean character that’s only soft for their love interest??? That’s one of Levi’s top five favourite romantic tropes!

Levi’s often taking notes on MC’s snappy remarks so he can sass people while he streams, he’s not too good at it, so he just streams with MC present. His viewership goes up whenever exponentially whenever MC says anything.

“Someone in the chat just said I must be insanely lonely-” “There’s no way in hell you’re lonelier than that guy at night. His bed ranks number one in the top ten loneliest places ever.”

Satan

At first, Satan took more of an analytical interest in MC’s attitude, they’re either suicidally impulsive or very confident in their ability to run from danger if they think they can sass demons and get away unscathed.

Once the two connect and MC goes soft for him, it’s game over. Satan’s weakness is cute things, and nothing is cuter to him than his usually mean MC raining affection and compliments down upon him!

Satan finally has a leg up on Lucifer! The human adores him and isn’t afraid to talk back to that pretentious motherfucker-

MC sits in Satan’s lap and the two read together, they smuggle cats into the house, they lay in bed together plotting the downfall of their enemies… just normal couple things.

Sometimes MC just sits next to him and makes a particularly nasty quip at someone else, then give him a big ol kiss on the cheek.

It just makes him oh so happy…

“Honey, I brought you tea!” “Ah, thank you MC.” “I took it from Lucifer’s private stash of relaxing tea :D” “You really are my soulmate, aren’t you?”

Asmo

Gasp! MC’s so mean! Do it more!

Asmo, sassy god he is, appreciates a good snide remark or twelve, so he’s always got a front row seat to MC’s shennaniganery.

Before the pact, he was back in the peanut gallery with Satan wondering when MC’s words would come back to bite them, but after the pact, nothing’s touching the human. Their sass is completely consequence-less as long as Asmo’s around!

These two are a match made in hell, literally. Asmo and MC get to be so in sync that they manage to make each other’s insults better by working together.

“I’d give you the name of a few surgery places but I don’t think they implant brains into unlucky people like yourself.” “They might be able to implant a better personality though~.”

Asmo’s fully willing to flaunt his relationship in public. Sort of in a “look at us! MC’s only nice to me! Eat shit losers!” kind of way.

It isn’t all vanity and insults, MC always finds a way to make Asmo feel better whenever he’s feeling down. MC makes sure to tell Asmo as often as possible that they love him for more than just his looks, and it makes the Avatar of Lust swoon.

Just as long as MC never turns their razor sharp wit on Asmo, he’s their cheerleader forever.

Beel

Good choice, MC.

Despite his resting bitch face, Beel’s a big softie, everyone knows that, and as the Simpsons said, ‘the strong must protect the sweet’.

Well… MC isn’t as strong as Beel, but they will verbally eviscerate anyone who even dares insinuate anything not nice about their precious gigantic cinnamon roll!

“Listen up bitches! Not you Beel, we’re all glad you’re here.” “^_^” “Y’ALL ARE IN DEEP SHIT.”

Beel loves how affectionate MC is! Doesn’t matter if it’s in public or private, he and MC are almost always at least holding hands.

MC always has emergency snacks on them, they never get upset when Beel eats everything in the house, they just smile and hand over whatever food they have on them and help fix the problem.

Beel is probably one of the only characters who would try and get MC to branch out and be nicer to everyone and not just him. Whether this works depends on MC.

Belphie

Does he deserve this? No. Did he almost start crying when MC began to show him genuine care and affection? Yes. Does he nearly die of laughter every time MC snaps at someone? Yes.

Belphie’s not sure why MC decided that they were going to love him of all demons… but they just… understand him.

They listened patiently and offered a shoulder to cry on, even after he hurt them… their understanding, their compassion, just wow. Belphie really lucked out.

MC lets him nap, fluffs his pillows, reminds him to wash his pillow cases and comforter, gets him sushi, like geez… what a simp… *sniffle*

In return, Belphie offers cuddles. Cuddles and quality time together. For the first time in how many millennia Belphie is going to get off his ass and do something for someone if they ask.

It’s a miracle.

Belphie isn’t one for flaunting a relationship but… he may just let some people know that this super mean human likes him the most by giving his human a quick kiss.

#Obey me #Obey me! #Obey me shall we date #Obey me Headcanons #Obey me! Headcanons #obey me! shall we date? #Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Mammon #Obey me Levi #Obey me Satan #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me Beelzebub #Obey me Belphegor #Obey me MC #Obey me Lucifer x MC #Obey me Mammon x MC #Obey me Levi x MC #Obey me Satan x MC #Obey me Asmo x MC #Obey me Beelzebub x MC #Obey me Belphegor x MC #pokémon

[babymetaldoll]

The bullies of the future (Matthew Gray Gubler/Reader)

Prompt: Imagine school in 300 years

Word count: 2,8K

Summary: Matthew starts rambling about the future over dinner. How do you think school will be in the future... will there be bullies... will our kids be bullied. All the questions reader has no idea how to answer. 

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader 

Category: Fluff

Warnings: mention of bulling and cursing

Masterlist 

- “I'm just saying, when we have kids, they are going to be homeschooled”- Matthew kept stirring the pot and (Y/N) continued chopping veggies, like what they were talking about was no big deal at all.

Of course, 'cos you and your boyfriend of seven years just happen to talk about your future together every once in... seven years, apparently. And it had to happen casually as you cooked dinner together.

So, (Y/N) took a deep breath and played it cool.

- “Home school? you wanna get our kids tutors?”

- “No, no! god no!”- he made a pause and analyzed the idea- “Well, maybe... I don't trust my math, but I was thinking maybe we could both be in charge of their education.”

Matthew was talking about it like it wasn't a big deal. It was: "Which topping do you want on your pizza today, by the way, let's have kids and homeschool them together!". No biggie, right?

- “Other than the fact we were both bullied in school, why do you want to keep them in our little house bubble all day?”- (Y/N) made her best to sound as casual and cool as possible, though she was freaking out inside.

- “'Cos school sucks”- Matthew simply replied, and both of them fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

- “I wonder what school will like in 300 years”- Gubler was thinking out loud, and (Y/N) found herself staring at the ceiling analyzing the idea.

- “I bet it will still suck”- she added and heard him chuckle.

- “And of course, aliens will be the teachers”- he stated and nodded at his own words- “Maybe they can "ET" us, and put all the knowledge inside our brain just with a finger on our forehead.”

- “So you wanna be fingered by an alien in school?”- (Y/N) looked at her boyfriend and frowned pretending to be confused, but making her best not to laugh. He, on the other hand, was laughing so hard she was sure the whole neighborhood could listen.

- “When you put it in those words... I don't know... maybe if they are hot aliens...”

- “I hope they are cool aliens, not the ones who always try to blow up Earth, or end with humankind”

Gubler stared at his girlfriend, she was taking the dough she had already made and had to rest, and started getting ready to prepare their pizza.

- “Is the salsa ready, Gub?”- he nodded and turned off the stove.

- “Do you think there will be bullies in school 300 years in the future?”- the tone of his voice was a little more serious, (Y/N) noticed it right away. Maybe that's where all the homeschooling idea was coming from.

- “It's more likely, people are and will be assholes forever, why?”- he shrugged and moved to the kitchen island, holding the pot with the tomato sauce he had prepared (it was his own personal recipe, and he was proud of it. It might or may not be taken from (Y/N)'s mom, but that was a fight he was never going to quit).

- “Hon, you know you can't keep kids in a bubble just to stop them from being hurt”

- “I know”- he whispered and focused on (Y/N)'s hand kneading the dough. Somehow, cooking with her felt like a place he could hide in.

If he was honest - which he was in his mind, but no as verbally as people might think- he could spend the rest of his life eating everything and anything that she cooked for him. He could gain a hundredth pounds, and he wouldn't care, he loved her home cooking, 'cos it was in fact, his home.

They had been seven years together, and he was now all of a sudden talking about kids. He didn't understand where that thought was coming from, but he knew he was sure she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It wasn't something he had to think about, it was something he felt on the inside every morning when she was the first thing he saw, as soon as he opened his eyes.

- “Wanna talk about what this is really about?”- her words took him from his thoughts, but he shook his head in silence- “Then pick a movie, I'll put the pizza in the oven and we'll be ready in twenty minutes.”

Matthew picked the original Carrie movie for their Saturday lazy date night, and they cuddled on their couch to watch it eating their homemade pizza. They chatted about all their favorite scenes and laughed at the poor special effects, but by the end of it, after an obscene amount of food and a bottle and a half of red wine, Matthew couldn't shake the bully's thoughts away.

- “Would you go all Carrie with your high school bullies if you could?”- his voice was a soft whisper as (Y/N) turned off the tv and the screen went black.

- “I don't think so... I wanted to when I was in school, but I don't think I care so much right now... although who knows what might happen if I get to see one of those assholes again”

The girl turned to her boyfriend, her legs laid on his lap as he sat next to her, covered with the same blanket. He knew he had to admit it, but there was a part of him that kept thinking maybe if he didn't talk about it, it hadn't happened.

- “I bumped into one of my bullies today”- he looked down at his hands, playing with a napkin as he spoke. He didn't want to turn his eyes to her 'cos he knew she would be scared and concerned. Which she was. She couldn't believe something like that had actually happened.

Matthew openly talked about his bullying experience in school in a positive and inspiring way, to help people under the same kind of situation face it and overcome it. But he never let anyone close enough to his trauma so they could understand how bad things had been for him. And it had been bad. The fact no one could call him "Matt", though it was the "go-to" nickname for Matthew was just the tip of that iceberg.

(Y/N) knew most of it after all that time, that's why it shocked her to know her boyfriend had bumped into someone from that dark era of his life.

- “Who?”

- “Chris Sanders...”- Gubler wished he could forget that name, but it was not possible. He didn't have an eidetic memory like his character Reid, but the trauma of years of bullying wasn't easy to erase.

- “Where?”

- “At a coffee shop this morning when I was out getting groceries... it was weird”

- “I bet it was”- (Y/N) moved closer to her boyfriend, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheeks several times- “Do you want me to kill him? ask me to kill for you, Gubler, please do”

She joked and managed to make him chuckle. But it only lasted for a second.

- “I know I have to be the bigger man, but I couldn't”

- “You don't have to be anything, honey”- (Y/N) leaned to him and kissed his cheek a few times. Matthew closed his eyes and sighed, the sensation of her lips against his skin was enough to relax him. But the memories he had buried were too clear in his head now, and there wasn't much he could do to wipe them off.

- “He put me in a fucking locker every day for a whole year”- Gubler closed his eyes tighter and held his breath for a few seconds.

- “Son of a bitch!”- just thought of her boyfriend going through that torture as a kid, hurt (Y/N) deeper than she could explain. She would give anything and everything she had, to travel back in time and kick those mother fucker's bully asses.

- “And today, he approached me like we were long lost friends”- Matthew scoffed- “Can you believe that? he walked to me and hugged me yelling "Matt" like I should be surprised and happy to bump into him!”

- “That asshole! and what did you do?”

- “I didn't know what to do, so I panicked and stayed still for a second, and he continued talking and talking about how great he was doing, and how he had seen me on tv, and... I tried to get my coffee and run away, but one thing he said just... made me snap.”

- “What did he say?”- (Y/N) whispered. Matthew sighed and looked down at his hands. Somehow, he felt guilty about what had happened, somehow he felt responsible for being mean to someone who had been cruel to him for years.

- “He said he saw an interview of me thanking every bully for being mean to me, 'cos they made me who I am today...”- Gubler whispered every word, and (Y/N) held his hands, trying to make him feel safe.

- “You did say that, I remember”

- “Yeah, but I was trying to be a positive... he just...”

Matthew was struggling with his words. He was trying to clear his head, but he was so mad, so upset, so... angry with himself for accepting the abuse for so many years, he couldn't think straight.

- “Hey, hey!”- (Y/N) leaned and kissed the tip of his nose- “I'm here, you are home, everything is ok, so come back”- she smiled at him and watched him smile shyly.

- “Yeah... I'm here”- he moved closer to her, and slowly rested his head on her shoulder. (Y/N) instinctively wrapped her arms around his body, and held him close to her, protecting him from his thoughts.

The couple stayed in silence for a few minutes. Matthew didn't want to make a big deal out of the whole thing, but deep down inside, he had bottled up so many feelings, he was having a hard time hiding them from his girlfriend.

- “He said I owe him”- Gubler murmured so quietly, (Y/N) barely heard him. He was hidden in the crook of her neck, trying to focus only on the smell of her skin instead of all the thoughts that kept hunting his mind.

- “What?”- his girlfriend whispered and clenched her fists behind his back. Of all the things she could have imagined that asshole telling her boyfriend, "you owe me" wasn't one of it. It wasn't even in the top 10. "I'm sorry I was a mother fucker with you back in high school" was something he should have said, but "You owe me"? only a real sociopath could make such sick joke.

- “And I... just... snapped”- Gubler bit his lips as he moved and stared at (Y/N), his puppy eyes were so apologetic, it made her feel he was indeed apologizing to her for something bad he had done.

(Y/N)'s hands caressed his cheeks as she smiled at him kindly. Whatever he had done - even it that included beating the shit out of that asshole - she knew he meant no harm. Matthew was a pacific guy, he wouldn't get mad, he would always be nice to everybody, even with people who were annoying or rude.

- “Gub, whatever happened, he totally asked for it”- she reassured him.

- “Yeah...”- but still, he didn't say a word

- “Did you hit him?”- he shook his head and sighed

- “I should have, though”- his voice was a whisper again.

- “Yeah, he deserved it... actually, let's google that asshole, I wanna go and smash his fucking face against a brick wall”- Matthew chuckled and stared at his girlfriend- “I mean it, I want to”

- “Maybe then we can google Jen Bennet, and avenge your shitty high school years as well”

- “So you really want me to go all Carrie on my high school bullies?”- Gubler shrugged smiling, but his response was a bluff and she knew it, he was never going to endorse any kind of violent behavior. Not like she would.

- “I don't want you to do that, never”- Matthew gave her a sweet peck on the lips and rested his forehead against hers. Silence hung between them for a few seconds, until Gubler finally sighed and whispered.

- “I threw my coffee to his face and yelled he was a narcissist son of bitch”

- “And?”- (Y/N) moved, looking into his eyes as she furrowed her brows, not getting the big deal of it- “He deserved it!”

- “Yeah but... maybe I overreacted?”

- “Did you stab him?”- but Gubler shook his head- “You didn't kick his balls, right?”- and he shook his head again- “Then, what's the whole deal?”

- “I burned his face and neck with hot coffee, not to mention the fact I yelled and cursed right onto his face in front of a lot of people”

- “So?”- (Y/N) wasn't getting what was the big deal. Sanders had been a bully to her boyfriend, he deserved worse. He deserved hell, 'cos he had put Matthew through a nightmare. She would hurt everyone who had done anything bad to him if she could. That's how much she loved him. No question asked.

- “So?!”- Matthew was in shock his girlfriend was taking things so calmly.

- “Honey, though I know you are the perfect guy who thinks being nice is better than anything else in the world, I have to burst that bubble for you: sometimes, people are assholes and we have to kick ass, you don't have to be a unicorn all the time.”

- “I'm not a unicorn!!”- he replied looking almost insulted. Matthew turned to the coffee table, poured what was left of their bottle of wine into their glasses and gave one to his girlfriend, who was smiling playfully.

- “Ok... a teddybear then”- she took a sip and sighed. Gubler stared at her biting his lips, probably trying to find something to say, but thoughts were overwhelming at that minute. He felt guilty and honestly bad about how he had reacted. He thought standing up in front of a bully was going to feel better, but apparently, it sucked.

(Y/N) could read on his face all the struggles happening in his mind. Her finger found his hair, and ran slowly through it, knowing it was something that always managed to relax him.

- “I just feel I'm no better than him after what I did”

- “Don't overthink it, Matthew Gray”- he felt her hands tug his hair softly, as a small chuckle left her lips- “You are better than anyone and everyone I know or might know”

- “Are you going to encourage our kids to kick ass?”

- “Yes!”- she answered not giving the idea a second thought- “But only if someone is messing with them”

- “Them?”- Gubler raised an eyebrow and (Y/N) felt her cheeks burning in no time. Had she said too much? no way.

- “You said kids, plural, them, kids, them...”- she poorly explained almost stuttering. The fact they were talking about kids was still too much for her to handle. It scared and excited her at the very same time. It felt like something she wanted to do, and couldn't wait to do, but never knew it until that day.

- “I see... maybe school 300 in the future will have better anti-bullying policies...”

- “We are not having kids in 300 kids, Matthew”- (Y/N) didn't realize what she had gotten into until it was too late- “I mean... I don't think we will be alive in 300 years.”

She made a pause as they stared at each other quietly. Neither of them knew what to say next, so she quickly looked for a way to change the course of the conversation drastically.

- “Anyway, it was a good pizza”

- “Yeah”- he nodded frenetically and blushed.

- “And a great shitty movie”

- “It ain't shitty”

- “The book is better”

- “Nerd”- (Y/N) gasped pretending to be offended and watched how Gubler bit his lips. She still didn't know if he did that on purpose or not, but whatever it was, it had one hell of an effect on her every single time, even after seven years.

- “Finish that wine and follow me upstairs”- her words were a command. 

- “Why?”- he raised an eyebrow knowing exactly what she was talking about.

- “I wanna cheer you up for beating up that bully”- Gubler didn't argue with that at all, he finished what was left in his glass and stood up.

- “Are you always going to cheer me up with crazy dirty sex?”

- “Yes”- she turned to him and frowned- “Is that a bad thing?”

- “Did you hear me complain?”- he grinned- “We could have done it on the couch, you know”

- “You can't tie me to the couch”- (Y/N) teased and curled his lips to a dirty smile.

- “I love you”

- “I know.”

#matthew gray gubler #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #fanfic #MGG #spencer reid fanfic #matthew gray gubler fanfic #fluff #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #babymetaldoll writes

[blackmissfrizzle]

Collide

Characters: Dean Winchester x black!reader, Geralt x black!reader

Summary: When on a case, the reader bumps into a familiar face.

Warnings: None

A/N: This idea has been in my forever. I’m happy its finally out.

Between the store clerk trying to stare down your blouse and him giving you, Sam, and Dean unnecessary details of the attack here, you were gonna blow your brains out. Dean noticed your frustration and smiled at you. He loved the little pouty look you would get when you were annoyed. It was the same look you gave him when you wanted something from him.

To get away from the clerk’s stare you roamed around the gas station, still intently listening to his story.

“Then some dude who looked like he came straight from Game of Thrones came inside. I thought he was LARPing.”

“LARPing?” Dean repeated looking up from his notepad.

“Live action role playing,” you explained, your fingers dragging over the chips.

The clerk looked at you adoringly. “You know what it is?”

“Yeah,” you sauntered back up to the counter. Time to tease this little sucker. You took a cherry blowpop and unwrapped it. “I do it all the time. My favorite is the professor and the naughty schoolgirl.” You fluttered your eyelashes as you stuck the lollipop in your mouth.

Dean squeezed your hip in warning to cut it out. He didn’t need more reason to knock the kid out. You paid him no mind though. You just continue to smile at the clerk in which you had no doubt probably jizzed in his pants.

Dean slammed the countertop to get the young man’s attention. “Hey, eyes over here. What happened when Jon Snow came in?”

“Umm, he umm, went crazy.” You couldn’t hide your smile as he stumbled over his words. Serves him right for being a little creep. “He started swinging some blade around and killed the three other guys that were here. I thought I was next when we made eye contact, but he walked right pass me.”

Sam asked for the footage for the fight, but just our luck the camera was busted, it was only there for show. Now you had to be here longer listening to the clerk ramble.

“Uh, he’s as tall as you,” the clerk pointed at Dean, “But he’s ripped. More ripped than you,” he pointed at Sam while Dean murmured, he was ripped. “Oh, and his eyes, they were freaky man,”

The three of you traded looks. Maybe you were just dealing with a demon.

“What color were they? Yellow? White? Black?” Sam questioned.

“Yellow, well more like a golden color. You know kinda like Twilight vampire eyes.”

That was odd. None of you dealt with anything with those kind of eyes before. Guess this means this wasn’t gonna be as easy as you thought.

“Oh, and he had long white hair which is weird because he did not look that old at. Maybe it’s a new hipster trend.”

Your head popped up at the mention of the white hair. It couldn’t be him. He’d be dead by now.

Losing all jokiness, you grabbed the clerk by the collar and pulled out the necklace he gave you that you always wore. “Did he wear something like this?”

“Yeah, the same thing, just bigger.” You let him go and smoothed his collar in apology before walking out. You needed air asap.

Sam and Dean soon followed. Neither have seen you get rough with a witness before. “Y/N/N, you okay?” Sam rubbed your back as you tried to catch your breath.

“Yeah, I think I know who our killer is.”

“Kinda figured that out. Care to share with the class?” Dean knew just how to pull you out of that state, being a dick. You couldn’t pass up hitting him.

“Remember when those witches sent me to the past? I think the guy who helped me is the killer.”

Dean snapped his fingers trying to remember the man’s name. “What was his name. Geral- Gerald? No. Geral-”

“Geralt.” You finished for him.

Dean didn’t like how you said his name or how your eyes lightened up. The two of you weren’t a couple, but you were his.

“Wouldn’t he be dead by now?” Sam questioned.

“Time travel.” You simplified for him.

Dean shook his head. “Man, I hate time travel.”  

—

The three of you ended up at an abandoned house. You used a hair tie Geralt gave you as a conduit for a tracking spell.

“Geralt, do you have an extra scrunchie?”

“A what?” He asked, looking up at you on Roach as he walked alongside you.

You forgot they didn’t know the term scrunchies. “A hair tie.”

“Why didn’t you just call it that?” He complained.

You rolled your eyes at his grumpiness. “That’s what we call them in the future.”

“Ah. No, I don’t have an extra one. Why do you ask?”

“Because mines broke and I don’t want my braids in my face in this heat.”

Geralt sighed as he undid his. “Here,” he handed you his hair tie.

When you got into town, you bought a new hair tie at the market and you tried to give Geralt’s his, but he insisted on you keeping it. Instead he took the new one.

You surprised it work since it was so flimsy, but you couldn’t use the necklace he gave it to you, because technically it wasn’t his. He had it made for you. It was for his ‘little witcher.’

You opted to lead with your sword instead of your gun. Geralt wouldn’t be shooting at y’all. Plus, the only time you could use it was when you were hunting vamps and you missed swinging this baby through the air.

Quietly, you entered the home. Geralt would be on guard and you didn’t feel like fighting him off.

The three of you split up, in search of him. You really hope that you would find him first and not Sam or Dean. He wouldn’t trust them as easily.

Your hopes were crushed when you heard Dean yell, “Son of a bitch!” Racing down the hall, you and Sam arrived at the same time only to see Dean dodging Geralt’s sword.

“I thought you said he was some sort of hunter?” Sam pointed out Geralt’s black eyes.

“He’s not!”

You screamed out the Witcher’s name, but he didn’t respond. He had to be under someone’s control.

“Don’t shoot him!” You yelled at Dean, who was letting out rounds.

“Well, tell him to stop trying to impale me!” Dean rolled to his side to dodge the sword once more.

The witcher had the hunter backed into a corner with no room to miss his strikes. Before Dean could get stabbed, you blocked Geralt’s sword with yours.

“Geralt! Stop! It’s me!” Geralt’s black eyes held no recognition. It was as if you were another monster.

You’re a total badass but fighting Geralt proved to be exhausting. He was a much better swordsman than you and it didn’t help that you learned from him.

While you were trying to stay alive, a book barely missed your head. Looking in the direction it came from, you saw Jaskier being hemmed up by Sam and Dean.

“Jaskier, did you just throw a fucking book at me!?”

“Y/N?” The bard squinted his eyes, trying to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating you. “It’s you! Thank the heavens! Geralt is in dire need of your help.”

“I can see that!” You gritted, while Geralt had you backed against the wall with your swords crossed.

“Geralt, look it’s Y/N, the woman’s name you’ve been saying in your sleep is here.” He’s been saying your name in his sleep? You were sure he be too caught up with Yennfer.

It didn’t matter though. Geralt still was on attack mode. You were talking to Jaskier, trying to figure out what was happening when Geralt stroke your sword out of your hand with the tip of his near your neck.

Jaskier was forgotten by the boys, now that you were in imminent danger, but you told them to stand down. You knew you could get through to him.

“Geralt, it’s me!” The sound of distress in your voice broke through Geralt. His eyes reverted back to normal, well, normal for him.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The one that got away.  Geralt dropped his sword, shortened the distance between you two by leaning his forehead against yours while cupping your jaw gently. “Y/N,” he whispered against your lips.

His lips took you by surprise. You haven’t felt them against yours since you came back your time. This time it was different. It was more passionate. The eagerness from Geralt let you know that he was seeking familiarity and you were willing to give it.

A throat clearing broke you out the kiss. You turned to see a pissed off Dean, a smug Jaskier, and an uncomfortable Sam. Taking in that sight, you stepped away from Geralt’s embrace.

“Um, Sam, Dean, this is Geralt of Rivia.”

Despite his immediate disdain for the man, Dean introduced himself. “Nice to meet you. I’m Dean Winchester of Lawrence.”

Geralt ticked his head to the side before shaking Dean’s hand. So, this was the idiot that Y/N would groan on about. He never quite understood why the idiot didn’t want to be in a relationship with Y/N. She was smart, beautiful, and a hell of a hunter. He would’ve taken her for himself if only time didn’t separate them.

With introductions over, you got to the meat of it. Geralt explained that someone plucked him, Jaskier, Ciri, and Yennefer out of time, just to use him as a weapon. The rest were used to keep him in line, but after one too many fights with his abductors they found a way to spell him under their control.

“Then why are you with him?” You asked Jaskier.

Jaskier’s face flushed and he looked towards the ground. “They said I was annoying, so they sent me with him.”

You had to contain your laughter, but Geralt did not. Leave it up to Jaskier to annoy his kidnappers to the point they couldn’t stand being around him.

You were getting into the backseat of Baby when Geralt just stood there a little confused. “What are you doing? Get in!” You patted the empty seat and he hesitantly slid in.

“This is small,” Geralt commented as his eyes roamed the vessel. It sort of reminded him of a carriage without the horses.

“Faster than Roach. How is she?” A smile graced your face as you reminisced on the stead. She was the most beautiful horse and as protective over you as Geralt.

“She’s well. She misses you though.” Not as much as him though, Geralt thought.

Nuh huh. This was not gonna happen on his watch. Dean let the freakazoid get one free kiss because he was disoriented, but he be damned if he let him make moves on his woman. “Who the hell is Roach?” Dean asked, looking at the pair of you from his rearview mirror.

“My horse.” Geralt met Dean’s eyes in the mirror but for only a moment.

Dean quirked an eyebrow. “Really? you named your horse after an insect.”

“Dude, you literally named the impala Baby,” Sam slapped his shoulder.

Sam’s comment launched the brothers into an argument about Baby’s name origin. While they were having their silly argument, you leaned up and turned on the radio to drown them out.

Immediately, Jaskier was intrigued by the music coming out. You told him all about the advancements in music and promised him to show him some good music.

Dean caught the tail end of your conversation and asked Jaskier why not start his music lesson now.

Sam and your eyes went to each other. Both of you knew Dean was about to go through his expansive cassette tape collection. Sam put in his headphones while you leaned your head back, getting comfortable for your nap.

You didn’t feel Geralt pull you off Jaskier when your body slumped over on him. You didn’t feel Geralt wrapped his arms around your waist as he leaned your head on him. And you definitely didn’t feel Dean’s hot gaze staring at your conjoined bodies.

Tagging: @deansblackbeauty​ @dark-night-sky-99​ @brownsugarcoffy​ @jinaaaannnnn @amethyst09​ @titty-teetee​ @deanscroissant​ @deansbbysblog​ @thickemadame​ @arizonalovesher​ @harrywujj

#black!reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x black!reader #dean #dean x reader #dean x black!reader #SPN #SPN FANDOM #spn fanfic #dean winchester fanfic #geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt x black!reader #the witcher #the witcher fandom #the witcher fanfic #geralt fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fandom

[lunarapocolypse]

Cryptic

@terrible-my-hero-academia-aus I blame you for this. For terrible aus prompt week: Dabi is a Jpop idol

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Love is dead and never existed. All you ever did is betray me as I lay here, sick and festering. You are the definition of dread, the bane of my life.” Dabi groaned, slumping on the couch. Magne gave him a concerned look.

“Are you okay?”

“Shimura ate my fucking ice cream.”

“Not my fault you didn’t eat it quick enough!” A scratchy voice called from the hallway. 

“I bought that yesterday, obviously I wouldn’t have finished it by now! How the fuck can you eat partically and entire tub of ice cream, and still be that skinny?” Dabi shouted back.

“Metabolism.” Tenko spoke, chuckling as he entered the hotel room. “And you can’t really say that, considering you’re underweight too.”

“I don’t eat much, so at least I have a reason. You eat all the junk in the world, but you’re still a skeleton.” Dabi pointed out.

“Guess I can’t argue with that.” Tenko shrugged.

 Magne let out a sigh.“I really worry for you two, at least try to eat healthy. You’re both practically sticks!” 

Tenko rolled his eyes, flopping onto the  couch as well.“I do what I want, Magne. No need to be worried, though I appreciate it.” 

The makeup artist sighed again. “I can’t help but worry.” She checked her watch, getting up. “Me and Himiko said we’d go out tonight, I have to get ready. You’ll be okay by yourselves, right?”

“Yeah yeah, we will. Now get going, before Crazy barges in here. She broke the door last time. ” Dabi grumbled, waving at her. He wasn’t in the mood to hear Tenko’s screechy shouting about how much it would take to replace the door. That’s at least what happened last time. Then again, Tenko seemed to be in a good mood today. 

“Try not to kill each other.” Magne giggled, opening the door and gently closing it. Tenko flipped her off, but Dabi could tell from the placid look on his face that he wasn’t really mad.

Dabi shifted on the couch, as a silence entered the hotel room. It was one of those silences that gave him space to think, to make him sweatdrop at how the heck he got here. He never thought that after running away from home, he’d get scouted for idol training. And never did he think he’d actually like it. He originally went along with it since they provided free meals but he quickly began to enjoy it. He always did like music, so he supposed it made a little sense. He never thought he’d actually be popular either. He had just debuted a year ago, and was already topping the charts. 

He had just finished his last performance of a tour he was doing, and it had been a blast. This whole tour had been a blast. He and the rest of the team were staying at a hotel until they headed back the next day. Dabi couldn’t remember the last time he enjoyed something this much. If only his siblings could be there to see it.

“You did a really good job today.” Tenko spoke, a wide smile crossing his face.  Most people would describe his smiles as creepy at first, but once you got to know him somehow they became endearing. At least that’s what Dabi thought. Not that he’d admit it.

Tenko was the son of the man who had originally scouted him, Kotaro Shimura, so Dabi had known him longer than the people on his team. He and Tenko didn’t get along at first, but they eventually became close friends.

“Are you congratulating me? I’m flattered, but that’s concerning coming from you, mophead. Are you getting a brain freeze from all that ice cream?” He replied, a shit eating grin appearing on his scarred face. His fans, the Cryptids as he called them, somehow thought this was hot. In Tenko’s own words ‘that’s because they’re monsterfuckers.’

Dabi chuckled as he dodged the water bottle that his manager chucked at him. 

“I’d congratulate you more if you didn’t tease me when I tried. But if you’d rather have me be annoyed all the time, then fine! I won’t be nice to you anymore.” he huffed. Dabi pouted.

“Wait no no no, I take it back. Give me validation.” He whined. Tenko turned away, flipping him off.

“Too late. You lost my validation forever.”

“Shimura noooo. Don’t do this to me.” 

“You did this to yourself, bitch.”

“I’m sowwy Mister Shimuwa, owo.”

“Please never say that again.”

“Then fowgwive me.”

“No.”

“Baby don’t hurt me don’t hurt me no more-”

“Oh my god, stop, I’ll validate you, just please. Anything but that song.” Tenko croaked, trying not to laugh but failing miserably at it. Dabi’s grin reappeared as the atmosphere went silent again. Not an awkward silence, much more comfortable than that. Until his dear manager decided to speak.

“We got a new sponsor request.” Ah, so that was the reason the mophead was in such a good mood. 

“It would be pretty stupid not to take it since it’s the best sponsorship we’ve got yet, but I wanted to run it by you anyways.” Tenko said, turning to face the other. Dabi cocked an eyebrow.

“That big? You’re talking like it’s a hero agency or something.”he joked. He had a bad relationship with heroes, so being sponsored by one would be weird. It probably wasn’t that though-

“I’m surprised you guessed it.” Tenko purred, a smile creeping up his pale face. Dabi’s eyes widened. Okay, it was a hero agency. Well...he didn’t like heroes, but this could help his career, so he could make an exception. It’s not like he had to truly support the agency, after all.

“Oh really? What agency?” He asked, unable to stop the bitter feeling in his stomach.

“One of the best! The Flame Hero, Endeavor.” 

Ah.

Dabi froze in his place.

“Personally I don’t like him, too aggressive, but he’s number two so imagine how much this is going to boost us! I can finally give Magne and Toga a pay rai-....hey are you okay?” Tenko said, stopping his rambling with a soft mumble as he noticed Dabi’s stiffness.

“Turn it down.”

“...What?”

“Turn down the offer!” Dabi snapped. “We’re already doing good, we don’t need that bastard’s help.” Tenko raised an eyebrow, giving him a stern look.

“Are you being serious?”

“Yes, I am! I’m not taking some bullshit sponsorship from Endeavor of all people.”

“I get that you don’t like heroes and I don’t either but-”

“This isn’t just about heroes! It’s him! I’m not associating myself with a guy like that.”

“Do you have some personal vendetta against him?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“This is your job, Dabi. You have to put personal feelings aside. Think of how much we’d spread, with his influence!” He hissed.

“I don’t need his influence! I don’t need anything from him!”

“At least give it a chance-”

“I’ve given him more than enough chances!” Dabi roared. His volume was enough to make Tenko flinch. 

“I’ve given him so many chances and he fucked up every single one of them, he’s not going to change, Shimura. He...he’s going to ruin this too.” He gasped.

“He...he…” Dabi felt like he couldn’t breathe, and his vision felt blurry. Shit, was he crying? He was shaking too. Oh god, please not a panic attack things were going so well today-

“Dabi? Dabi!” Tenko seemed to realize what was going on because he gently tapped Dab’s shoulder.

“Look, I need you to breathe. Copy me, alright? Breathe in for 5.” Tenko demonstrated. Dabi followed along.

“Hold for 5.” One two three four five. “And breathe out.” One two three four five.

“Good. Now just repeat that. Here, place a hand on your belly and your chest. Make sure it’s expanding when you breathe in and out.”  Dabi did as he said, slowly calming down. This continued for a bit until he stopped shaking.

“...Sorry. Didn’t mean to freak out.” He mumbled. Tenko sighed.

“Don’t apologize. Here, I’ll turn it down. He’s gonna be pissed at us, but that’ll be fun to see.” Tenko said, grinning once again. Dabi’s eyes widened in shock.

“But, didn’t you say to put personal feelings aside?” He asked.

“I did, but if those feelings are bad enough to make you have a panic attack then it’s clearly not worth it. I’m glad I asked you before accepting, otherwise we’d really be in trouble.” He said, chuckling a little.

“Thanks, Shimura.”

“Don’t thank me. I’d be a shit manager if I still asked you to take it.” He replied, rolling his eyes.

“Although I’m curious, you said you gave him a lot of chances. And he messed it up. What exactly is your history with Endeavor?” he asked. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, of course.”

“Well, it’s complicated. I don’t wanna go into detail, but if I’m gonna talk about this I’m gonna need a drink.” Dabi figured he’d let him know a little. After all, he’d been his manager for a year and his friend for longer, and he deserved an explanation. Tenko nodded at that, getting a bottle of wine from the cabinet, along with two glasses.

“How did you know how to deal with a panic attack? Tell me that first.” 

Tenko shrugged. “Me and my sister get them sometimes, we tend to help each other through it.” Dabi nodded.

“So, anyways, what’s your deal with Mr. Number two?”

“He’s my dad.”

Dabi nearly burst out laughing when Tenko spit out some of his wine.

“What??? Wait,now that I think of it you both have fire quirks and he had a son that died at age 14, the same age you were scouted at and it was only a month before you were scouted too...Oh my god.” He mumbled, taking a large sip. “Oh my freaking god.”

“Connecting the dots, creep?”

“It’s all coming together. I’m surprised I didn’t guess by now.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyways, he’s an abusive asshole and I’m not taking his help ever again. That’s all I will tell you for now.”

“Understandable.” Tenko had pretty much used his own dad’s influence in the business world to get big then cut ties with him. They didn’t get along, for reasons Dabi only had a vague idea of. Something about All might, and this one old hero...what was her name? Dabi couldn’t remember.

“Wait, he had other kids, right? Do your siblings still know you’re alive?”

“Yeah, we have a group chat.  They have no idea where I am though.” he said, chuckling. “I told them I ran off on a pokemon go journey.”

“...That’s a dick move. I respect that.” Tenko replied, nodding with approval. 

“Pff, yeah. I still send them pics of pokemon from time to time.” 

“You said he was abusive...what about your siblings?”

“He ignored my sis and middle bro, but the youngest...Shoto...he took my place after I left, let’s just say that.” he muttered, bitterly. “...I’m a coward who wasn’t able to help him, let’s just say that.”

“You’re not a coward, you were reasonably scared. And it’s not like you can’t still help.”

“...What do you mean?”

Tenko sat up, his  stunning ruby eyes having a spark in them. “Y’know, Endeavor is pretty popular, but if his fans knew he was a child abuser there would be some controversy. Plus, you’re almost as popular, and if you’re this good now imagine how much your popularity will increase in just a few months.”

Dabi raised an eyebrow. “Your point?”

“Endeavor doesn’t stand a chance against an army of fangirls, and the press, if we can get them to side with us.”

Oh.

“...You want me to admit he’s my dad, and basically expose him when I get popular enough?” Dabi said, giving him a bewildered look.

Tenko shrugged. “Well, not that bluntly. If we’re going to do this we have to make sure it’s convincing. And have a little fun while we’re at it, of course.” he smirked.

“Only if you feel up to it. Not gonna pressure you to do anything you don’t feel like.” 

Dabi gulped.

“Oh, why the hell not. Down with Endeavor.” he raised his glass. Tenko cackled, raising his as well.

“Down with Endeavor!” 

They drank, giggling like teenagers.

“Hey, Dabi?”

“Yeah?”

“I have a stupid idea.”

“Shoot.”

“How about we hype up your fans, before delivering the final blow? Dabi smiled, seeing a gleam in the other’s eyes. 

“Oh, do tell.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Todoroki, Midoriya  you two have to see this!” Mina gushed, running over to where the boys were eating their lunch.

“Ashido? Is something wrong?” he asked, tilting his head.Mina grinned, shoving her phone in his face. 

“There’s this jpop idol me and Kyoka really like, Dabi, and look! In his new album apparently they found a lot of messages when played backwards, but that’s not just it! They have a secret code language in it too.”  This caught both the boys’ attention. 

“Uraraka was talking about him earlier! This should be fun.” Midoriya commented, a large smile forming on his face.

“Can you play one for me?” Shoto Fan-Theorist Todoroki said, eyes gleaming. Mina happily obliged, playing the first song backwards.

“This is for Endeavor, you big fat white nasty ass smelling bitch-” The song began. It was pretty impressive how it sounded like this backwards, yet it had completely different lyrics when played normally.

Shoto and Midoriya listened intently, cracking up a few times. Although Shoto couldn’t help but feel like the voice was strangely familiar...

“He hates Endeavor too, huh Todoroki? I wonder why?” Midoriya tapped his chin. “Now that I think of it, he has a fire quirk too, right? Blue fire.” Shoto’s eyes widened. He only knew one person with blue fire…

“Oh this one is why I wanted to show this to you specifically is because of this.” Mina played another song, making Shoto’s ears perk up.

“Shoto do your homework and don’t forget to water the cactus, Natsuo.  Tell mom I love her and tell dad to fuck off.  Fuyumi don’t cry I’ll be okay.” She stopped the recording, smiling at their wide eyes.

“Fuyumi and Natsuo? Your siblings? And he mentioned you…” Midoriya mumbled, glancing at his friend. Shoto gulped.

“Ashido, play something with the secret code language you mentioned.”

“Huh? Okay.” She played a snippet making Shoto jump up, slamming his hands on the table.

It was the same code language they used in the Todokids group chat.

And it translated to  “I wanna be the very best like no one ever was!  To catch them is my real test to train them is my cause!”

“TOUYA!”

---------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, look at this guys.” Tenko snickered, showing everyone the comments on Dabi’s music videos.

“Who is Natsuo? Sounds like they were pretty close”

“Guys play it at 0.75 speed, you hear the words “Die flaming trash can””

“Why is there so much Endeavor Hate? Did he hurt our Dabi?”

“Omg he looks so perfect <3 I would die for Dabi-senpai”

“Everyone, there’s not actually hidden messages, calm the hell down”

“Stop hating on Endeavor without actual proof”

“Hey look at 1:46-1:57 backwards! It sounds like he’s saying that Endeavor was abusive!”

“Nooo Poor Dabi he looks so sad in this video T-T”

“Hey look, 0:34-0:47 is kinda scary. Is that some secret code? Sounds like parseltongue.”

“Guys, whatever these messages mean, we’ve got to support Dabi no matter what! Poor baby”

They cracked up, making the driver of the limo groan.

“I can’t believe you actually did this, the press is going to go nuts!” Jin cackled. Dabi simply high fived him.

“That’s the point.”

“Just so you know this was my idea, so I get credit if anyone asks.” Tenko huffed.

“Yeah yeah, whatever creep. How much longer til we get there?”

“Perfect timing, it looks like we’ve arrived.” Tenko commented slyly, looking up at the large UA building. The students would be leaving any moment now.

Dabi grinned seeing a heterochromatic boy leave, talking quietly with his friends. He seemed to be excited.

He rolled down the window of the limo, grinning like a maniac.

“Shoto!”

The boy flinched, glancing at the limo. A few of his friends proceeded to freak out. They must’ve been fans.

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping!”

“...Who are you?”

Dabi laughed. “Aww c’mon, you don’t remember your dear big bro? I’m hurt, Shoto. And just when I finally became a pokemon master.”

The pink girl next to him whispered something in his ear, making his eyes widen, as he ran up to the car.

“Touya?”

“Who else would I be? Although I prefer to go by Dabi, now. Touya isn’t edgy enough.”

“...You forgot to bring milk. For 11 years.”

Dabi groaned. “C’mon Sho, I was busy being a star, give me a break.”

Shoto sighed, a hint of a smile appearing on his face as he hugged his brother from the window. Dabi’s eyes went wide but he reciprocated the hug, groaning when he heard Magne and Toga’s squealing.

“I missed you, Touya.”

“...I missed you too. Now stop being sappy, I have a reputation to keep.” he mumbled, as Shoto let go.

“C’mon kid, we’ll give you and your friends a ride home. Plus, I wanna see the rest of your family when they see Dabi.” Tenko said, opening the door with a grin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’M HOME, FUCKERS!” Dabi yelled, bursting the door open. Fuyumi and Natsuo stopped what they were doing to blankly stare.

“Wait Dabi? Sho, why is a jpop idol here? Wait, um, can I have your autograph? My friend really likes your music.” Fuyumi said, getting up.

“Guys, it’s me. Touya.” They continued to stare at him blankly.

“It’s true, he has a complete pokedex. Every pokemon in available pokemon go is in there.” Shoto said, walking in next to him. “Only Touya could manage to do something like that.”

Fuyumi seemed to believe it, running to hug her brother.

“Touya! It’s been so long, did you bring milk?” She smiled, seeing Spinner place two jugs of milk on the counter.

“It’s his apology for missing his turn all those years.” The Lizard snickered. Dabi rolled his eyes.

Natsuo still looked unconvinced. “If you’re Touya, then say something only the real Touya would know.”  Dabi smirked.

“In middle school we graffitied the entire back of Endeavor’s hero agency with meme and vine references. Oh, and you taught Shoto his first curse word by accidentally saying “Fuck this fucking goddam shit I’m yeeting myself the hell outta here” in front of a five year old. You were in fourth grade when you said it, now that I think of it.” Natsuo gasped

“Touya!”

“Wait, you said that in fourth grade? Natsuo!” Fuyumi scolded.

“Shut up, at least I didn’t kiss my best friend’s girlfriend.” Fuyumi turned bright red as Dabi laughed.

“Okay, clearly some drama has been going on and I’m disappointed you didn’t tell me about it.”

“Well, let’s fill you in.” Natsuo said, laughing.

----------------------------------------------------

“Hey we’ve got to leave for the interview in six minutes, hurry the fuck up.” Tenko groaned. Dabi laughed. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming.”

They were on their way to an interview about Dabis’ new album. With Endeavor, due to all the hidden messages.

It was time to let all hell break loose.

“Thanks, Shimura.”

Teno raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

“For, helping me I guess.” Dabi shrugged.

“Tenko.”

“Huh?”

“We’ve been friends for literal years, just call me Tenko.” The man replied, getting on his coat. Dabi smirked.

“Thanks, Tenko.”

“No problem, patchwork.”

“Hey!”

-------------------------------------------------

Dabi grinned walking into the building. It was probably a bad idea to have drank right before this, but he was nervous and couldn’t help himself, okay?

He smiled even wider, noticing Endeavor there as well.

“Hey old man. Long time no see!”

The man’s face scrunched up looking at him.

“Dabi. I advise you not to call me that.”

“What, are you disappointed in me? I mean, I was the failed child, but I really thought you’d warmed up to me since you offered to sponsor.” His eyes went wide.

“...Touya?”

“I lived bitch.”

Dabi grinned even wider, pretty sure his staples were gonna pop out any moment. But he couldn’t resist seeing the look of terror on the other’s face.

Yeah, this interview was going to be hilarious.

#is this OOC? yes #Am I sorry? also yes #this is just crack treated seriously #i didn't proofread so RIP #dabi #terribleauspromptweek #dabi is a jpop idol #dabi mha #mha dabi #bnha dabi #dabi bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #fuyumi todoroki #todoroki shōto #shoto todoroki #natsuo todoroki #todoroki natsuo #shigaraki tomura #tomura shigaraki #tenkoshimura #shimura tenko #enji todoroki #bnha endeavour #Luna tries to write

[gottlem]

you belong with me (gigi x crystal)

a/n - some of this isnt proofread so im SORRY if it gets messy at the end it is literally 3am. also this is my first fic so pls be kind i dont know what im doing like at all. (also keep a look at for slight jackie x jan) this was inspired by someone wanting a fanfic based off of you belong with me by taylor swift and i loved the idea so here we are and i am sorry.

-----

Gigi and Crystal are best friends. Growing up living so close to each other made them an absolute power-duo, for years on end they have been inseparable at all times. When they were younger, Gigi would sleep over at Crystals every single weekend and neither of them would ever get sick of eachother. They spent their nights giggling at nothing and making pinky promises “to never ever not be friends” and that they would be each other's “favourite person” forever, because they didn’t know that life can get a tad bit more… complicated when you start to get a little older. Living in ignorant bliss of the impending doom of high school, they would spend their time in their own little bubble, making the most of each other's company. In their minds, it wasn’t a question whether or not they loved each other. The answer was there without even having to ask the question, but of course they were too young to fully understand anyway.

In her early teens, Crystal would slowly realise that if young Gigi and Crystal were a boy and a girl, everyone would have joked about them being together with them being so close, but since they had been two little girls, they were just best friends in everyone’s eyes. Crystal would also slowly realise that ‘just best friends’ isn’t really where she wanted to stay with Gigi, but that truth wouldn’t come for another few years. She learned about the term ‘lesbian’ when there was a rumour in the 7th grade that she was one. It hadn’t fully occurred to her that girls could like girls in that way, but when she did google what it meant on a random wednesday night, it seemed so obvious. Natural. Of COURSE girls can like girls, they’re so pretty! Needless to say, it didn’t take her very long to understand that maybe the rumour was actually true- but nobody needed to know that. Not even Gigi. Definitely not Gigi. To be honest, she didn’t know where her friend even stood on topics like this, but they had never even talked about boys, so she absolutely didn’t want to risk bringing up girls. 

In 7th grade, Gigi already knew what a lesbian was. She heard talks about her best friend being into girls, but she paid it no mind. If Crystal was gay, she’d tell her, right? Gigi could be trusted with that kind of stuff. Either way, she wouldn’t bring it up. Maybe Crystal hadn’t even heard about it, maybe she was completely oblivious. Yeah. That must be it. It was around this time Gigi realised she herself might like girls. But it had nothing to do with Crystal. Nothing at all. In fact, the topic of relationships had never even come up between them. In 8th grade, Gigi started to get little crushes, exclusively on girls. This was the year she decided she was a lesbian. By then, the rumours about Crystal were long forgotten, but her friend’s sexuality was almost always in the back of Gigi’s mind. Crystal had never expressed interest in boys (or girls for that matter), but then again neither had Gigi. She knew she would have to come out to Crystal at some point - there was no WAY she was hiding a future girlfriend from her best friend. 

One night in the summer before 9th grade, Gigi slept over at Crystal’s house. Just like old times, except now both girls had quite a big secret they were hiding from each other, completely unbeknownst to the fact that it was the exact same secret. Gigi was going to tell her by the end of the night. She was SURE of it. The hours passed like minutes and before the girls knew it, the sun had completely set outside and the moon shone down into Crystal’s brightly coloured bedroom (some would think it’s decor is all over the place, but Gigi would describe it as being perfectly Crystal). The pair had settled into a slow, but somehow not very sleepy conversation despite the time, by around 1am. If Gigi was going to tell her, it was now or never. Before she could change her mind, Gigi had looked Crystal in the eye and started with “I really need to tell you something”. She had rambled on about how much she trusted Crystal, and how much she wanted her to accept this. Crystal didn’t have any idea what Gigi could possibly be leading up to, but she did absoluetly not expect to hear “I’m gay, Crys” coming from her friend’s mouth at 1 in the morning. 

The confession left Crystal speechless. Of course she didn’t judge Gigi, she was gay too! She was just shocked. How long had Gigi known? How long have they both known and didn’t tell eachother? It took Gigi’s tearful eyes and furrowed brows to tear Crystal out of her overthinking. Shit. She hadn’t even responded. 

“Crystal. Are you mad? Oh my god you’re mad aren’t you? Or like weirded out? I can go if you want. I get if you’re like uncomfortable with me staying over now-”

“Gi”

“-I don’t have to sleep in  your room. I’m sorry I told you. We never talk about this kind of stuff why did I think telling you would be ok? I-”

“Gigi!” Crystal shook Gigi’s shoulders to get her attention. Her eyes were bloodshot and Crystal cursed her brain for short circuiting when it did. She knew she had to tell Gigi now. 

“Me too” her voice came out as a whisper, but it cut through the silence of the room with ease. It was Gigi’s turn to be stunned into silence. Neither of the girls said anything. Crystal just hugged her friend. She didn’t stop until they woke up in the morning. That week, Crystal let her eyes linger on her friend a little longer than normal every time they passed each other at school. She found herself re-typing text messages and doing anything to speak to Gigi. She knew what all this meant, but she would not tell Gigi. It was  just a little crush. Everybody gets little crushes.

10th grade rolls around far too quickly than anyone would like to accept. Gigi and Crystal are as close as ever. Well, as close as ‘just friends’ can be, much to Crystal’s (hidden) dismay. Jan and Jackie, who had become very good friends with the pair in 9th grade, would constantly tease Crystal about her not-so-small-anymore crush on Gigi when the other girl wasn’t looking. Of course, Crystal hadn’t told them, but it wasn’t necessarily difficult for the couple to figure it out when she would stare at Gigi every chance she got. The teasing only got more painful about a month into 10th grade, when Gigi started dating the new student, Nicky. Suddenly, Crystal felt herself become awkward around her best friend - someone she used to feel so free with. It was easier to pretend she wasn’t falling in love with her when she was single. But now, now she had someone to be jealous of. Someone to remind her that clearly she’s just not good enough for Gigi. Every now and again, Gigi wouldn’t show up to their usual lunch table, leaving Crystal to third wheel with Jan and Jackie. On these days, Crystal didn’t bother looking for Gigi, she knew who she was with, and frankly she couldn’t bear to see them together. When she first saw the couple kiss, it made her stomach drop. Gigi was waiting for the bus when her friend sat next to her and made easy conversation. They were smiling and laughing until Nicky’s car (because of course she could drive) came to pick Gigi up. When she got in the car, the couple shared a moment far too intimate for Crystal’s liking. She pried her eyes away until she heard the car leave.

By Winter break, Gigi and Nicky had been dating for three months. Crystal wasn’t very familiar with how their relationship was going - she knew it would only hurt her if she always asked Gigi about it. If Gigi wanted to talk to her about it, she would bring it up, and apparently Gigi really didn’t want to talk to her about it. Crystal was fine with this. Well, Crystal was fine with this until there was a knock on her door at 11:58pm on a December night coming from the one and only Gigi Goode. Who was crying. Like, really crying. Crystal took the girl's hand and rushed her to her room, sitting her on the bed they had shared (platonically!!!!) many times before. She let her cry. Crystal had learned in her 16 years of life that sometimes, you just gotta cry. Still, the sight of her friend sobbing so much wasn’t an easy one to digest, nor was it one she had seen often. 

After god only knows how long, Gigi’s cries had died down, she was in Crystal’s pyjamas (which Crystal thought was too much for her brain to handle right now, but considering the situation she pushed these thoughts the the back of her mind, as if she hadn’t tried that for the past year anyway) and she was holding a glass of ice water between both hands. It was Crystal who broke the silence. 

“What’s up?” She was quiet, scared that speaking too loudly would cause the fragile girl infront of her to break down again. But she didn’t. Her brows furrowed and she had a look on her face that Crystal couldn’t quite place, something she wasn’t used to by any means after being friends for a good ten years now. 

“It’s nothing. Me and Nicky just had an argument”

“And this is why you came to my house in hysterics in the middle of the night in Winter. Ok, sure.” She deadpans. Gigi gave her a look as if to say ‘you bitch’ but there’s a fondness behind it nonetheless. 

“Ok fine. It’s more than nothing. It feels like all we ever do is argue anymore. We do like, two things; we argue or we mess around, yknow? And I’m kind of sick of it! It’s like I’m here for her to make out with and that’s all that we have going for us. That’s the only good thing. And shouldn’t there be more? Shouldn’t there be romance, and dates and shouldn’t we be able to be stupid in front of eachother and-” She started to cry again, though not as intense as before, definitely enough to stop her little rant. Crystal thought it was for the better, if she heard anymore of that she might start crying herself. She could give Gigi all of that. Hell, she already did for the most part.

Crystal was torn. She wanted to tell Gigi she should break up with Nicky. She knew it would be for the better, for both of them, but she still felt like it would be selfish of her to give that advice. She didn’t want to accidentally take advantage of Gigi, with her being in such a vulnerable space. So she tells Gigi the facts - well, she didn’t really have much (or any) experience so they could be completely false, but to her they seemed quite solid.

“Couples have honeymoon phases. They can’t keep their hands off each other because they’re so obsessed with this new person they have all to themselves and people get carried away. It’s human nature. But that dies down, or it should. Eventually. Couples argue. It’s healthy to disagree and make up every now and again but there comes a point where it’s just too much. I think you know where that point is. I can’t make it up for you, it’s not my relationship, babe” Crystal let the pet name slip without thinking too much about it. She was tired and it was a school night, and her friend was upset. She told herself it meant nothing. Gigi hugged her and fell asleep quite quickly, exhausted from her emotions having taken over.

Nicky was beautiful. Drop dead gorgeous. Painfully stunning. This was a fact, this was understood by boys and girls alike, gay straight or bi. Gigi was lucky to have her, or maybe she wasn’t. Crystal didn’t know anymore. She could see why Gigi had clearly fallen so hard for the french girl, with her fashion forward style and her thick accent that Crystal had no option to admit was just plain sexy. Again, this was all fact. Gigi was also beautiful. That’s why everyone loved them together. Aesthetically, their relationship just worked. But Crystal had a tear stained pillow and a broken girl to prove that aesthetics mean nothing unless there’s love there too. And Crystal loves Gigi. She always has, and probably always will. Crystal didn’t like Nicky. She didn’t like the knowing glares she would get as they passed each other in the hall. It was as if the french girl could read her damn mind and she didn’t like it one bit. It wound her up to no end. She also didn’t like how she would argue with Gigi until she would cry and cry and run to Crystal’s house, sobbing into her pillow. It became routine. The pillow was pushed to the side, specifically for when Gigi came to cry her mascara onto it. Nicky would always apologise the next day. Gigi would always accept it. Crystal felt more and more hopeless.

A few months later, the routine continues. Gigi sends Crystal a text one night in February at around midnight, to say she’s coming over (a new-ish development in the all too familiar routine) and Crystal prepares the signature glass of water and the tear-soaked pillow for her friend. When she opens the door after Gigi’s knocking, she is met with no tears. Actually, she is met with a smile. Crystal just stands there. Gigi walks casually up the staircase and into Crystal’s bedroom, taking the glass of water and sitting cross-legged on her bed, hugging the pillow, but not for emotional support - because it's just comfier. Crystal follows her, a million questions on the tip of her tongue. She sits opposite to Gigi.

“I broke up with Nicky”

Oh.

OH.

“Just now? Oh my god, are you ok?” Crystal hears herself replying before she even knows what to say, she’s glad she didn’t say something stupid.

“No actually, I broke up with her this morning. I was talking to Jan and Jackie about it earlier, but you weren’t there. Plus, I wanted to tell you like this anyways. Here. Feels like tradition. Like it’s come full circle.”

“Are you sure you’re ok though?” It’s honestly creepy to see Gigi so calm over Nicky, after all the tears she had spilled before.

“Yeah. I think it truly ended a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

It’s silent. Crystal feels tense. Like there’s something else to be said, like something else is going to happen. And she’s right. Because when she looks up, Gigi is staring at her, pupils wide and ears red. Crystal feels like she’s under a microscope. A breath gets stuck in her throat. Gigi giggles at it. She giggles and she inches forward. She inches forward and lifts her hands. She lifts her hands to Crystal’s face. And they’re kissing. They’re kissing and Crystal is smiling. When they pull away, Gigi has plump lips and a dumb smile on her face. Crystal loves it. They sit there for a minute, just staring at each other. Letting each other give the moment a second to sink in. When it does, they laugh. And then they talk about it. And then they kiss some more. And then they fall asleep. So what if it took Gigi a bad relationship to see what was standing right infront of her? Now they have each other, and that isn’t going to change.

#well that was a rollercoaster #inspired by taylor swift #the one and only #did u like it #pls say you liked it #gigi goode #crystal methyd #drag race #jan sport #jackie cox #crystal x gigi #gigi x crystal #also yes there is side jackie x jan bc i love them ok #rpdr #rpdr12 #lesbian au #highschool au #kinda fluffy kinda angsty #slow burnish #drag race fanfiction

[keith-the-hoe]

The Glimmer Hoes Master Plan| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: [X]

Episode Two: [X]

Episode Three: [X]

Episode Four: I'm Flyin'

Episode Five: [X]

Warnings:

This may contain weird questionable subjects, no no words and sex scenes. It may cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and fall into a state of confusion. Do not read if you are under the age of 16. Read at your own risk.

Cast:

Keith Richards

Ronnie Wood

Bill Wyman

Charlie Watts

Rod Stewart

-------------------

It was around midnight when the huge slaughtering went down around the small motel in CaliFOnia. The Rolling Stones were on the search for a hospital since Ronnie is a dumbass and got attacked by a Mick robot. Keith has been on his side the entire trip. He was quite upset about everything that happened since they went on vaca. His whore side hoe got killed, his Cyborg Mick didn't work out well, and now his best friend is now slowly dying.

"Don't worry buddy, you will be fine, I swear," Keith said calmly.

Ronnie didn't seem to be having a problem with anything. He was just there looking at Keef, smiling.

"Well.... this has been a helluva ride! You Rolling Stones whores are something!" He added.

Bill just rolled his eyes and looked out the window. Charlie was still trying to figure out why he's in a band full of dumbasses. Keith looked away for a second and later realized that Ronnie wasn't there anymore. He panicked.

"G-guys!! Ron disappeared!" Keith yelled. Bill and Charlie looked back at him. They were confused. Charlie sighed in relief. No more dumbasses.

"Where in bloody hell did he go, you monkey!?" Bill yelled. Keith searched the whole van and did not find him anywhere. Charlie looked out the windshield and spotted Ronnie on top of a roof of a strip club.

"Bill! BILL!" He pulled on his hair to get his attention. "That big nose whore is on top of that roof!" He said as he pointed up at him. Keith pressed his monkey face on the glass and spotted him.

"RON! How in the actual fuck did ya get up there!?" Keith asked as the van pulled up to the parking lot of the strip club. He kicked the door open and ran up to the building.

"Oh hiya there Keith! Beautiful view up here! I can see every single building from here!" Ronnie said with a chuckle. Keith extended his arms in case he decides to jump off.

"Ron! Get down from there! You're going to fall!" Keith said sounding very worried. Ronnie just laughed.

"Nah! Mate! I won't fall! I've done this many times with my mate, Rod!" He said. Keith was utterly confused. Bill and Charlie walked up to Keith to tell him that they should get going. Keith refused to leave Ronnie behind so he climbed onto the roof. He then realized that he is afraid of heights. He slowly walked up to Ronnie.

"Alright mate, just walk over to me and lets get down safely, okay?" He said calmly. Ronnie just smiled widely at him. He did a T-pose and fell forwards. Keith panicked and ran to the edge of the building. He didn't see him anywhere.

"Charlie! Where did he go!?" He said in a very shaky voice. Charlie pointed up to the sky. "You dumbass! Why would you even consider that huh!?" He yelled. Charlie shook his head in disappointment.

"You Muppet! That is not wot I meant! He's up in the sky flying!" Charlie yelled in response. Keith looked up to the sky. There he was, flying around like a chicken. He was so confused. He the heard music coming from a building that was across from the strip club. A blonde big nose whore was standing on there singing some song that said something among the lines of "I'm flying."

"Wot the fuck?....." Keith said to himself. Bill and Charlie seemed to be entertained by the music. Bill looked up at Keith, who was still on top of the roof.

"Hey matey! Get your monkey ass down from there and come look at this spectacular show!" He yelled. Keith was hella annoyed by everything. He got down from the building and headed to the van. Ronnie was preparing for landing but a pamper flew into his face and caused him to fly into the dumbass bitch, Rod. It caused a huge explosion. Bill and Charlie hugged each other in fear. They slowly looked at each other and pulled away. That was awkward. Keith was once again hella upset.

"Let's get the fuck out of here...." He said as he hopped in the van. The Rolling Stones were once again on the run. Keith could not believe that he'd just lost his two best friends. Ron was like a corn dog to him.

"Where are we headed?" Bill asked Charlie. He just sat there thinking if they could possibly go back home because he just wants to go home. The only problem was that they didn't have money to book a flight to go back to Britain. They were stuck in the states for a while. Keith reached into his underwear and pulled out a picture of his whore best friend, Mick. He seriously wished he was by his side, even if it was for just a little bit. A tear ran down his monkey face and quickly wiped it away. Bill and Charlie saw someone crossing the street.

"Jesus CHARLIE STEP ON THE BLOODY BREAKS!" Bill yelled.

Charlie did what he was told. The van did a loud skkkrt sound. Keith flew into the seat. Dumbass didn't wear his seatbelt. Charlie and Bill sat there completely startled. There stood a man who was average height with longish hair and blue eyes. Keith took a glance at him. He could not believe his eyes.

"M-Mick?" He said softly.

The figure walked closer to the van. His skin was pale and was covered in dry blood. His clothes were worn out and dirty.

"Sweet mother of-" Charlie added.

Keith quickly exited the van and ran up to him. Mick took out a blade and pointed it at Keef. He stood there in fear of him getting stabbed by his zombie friend.

"M-Mick," he began, "Its me, you're buddy. We've known each other since we were dumb fucks."

Mick slowly turned his head to look a Keef. His eye color was faded to a light blue shade. He stared at him for a while until he put away his blade. He was shocked to once again see his monkey friend after he had gotten killed by Mick Taylor.

"Its okay buddy, I ain't going to hurt ya..... Just want to be with you again...." Keith explained.

Mick stood there in silence.

"Jesus wot is this!? Some kind of weird romantic zombie movie!? Oh fuck that matey! I ain't here for that! I just want my damn band back!" Mick said.

Keith chuckled and pulled Mick in for a tight hug. Surprisingly, Mick hugged him back.

"Jesus Mick! Where the hell were you!? How did you find us!? I thought I lost you forever!" He rambled.

"Well, Monkey, after you had left me there at the dumpster, I woke up and followed the tracks from the van." Mick explained. "It was a helluva ride!"

Keith was glad that his bestie was back. He couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. Bill and Charlie just sat there in the van face palming their faces.

"Well.... We're back to square one....." Bill said to Charlie.

Charlie just wants to go home.

"I am hella glad you're alive! Heck I even tried to replace you with a cyborg version of you!" Keith said as he fixed his pants.

"You did wot now?..." He asked.

"Doesn't matter! You're here now! Meaning we can go back to being friends and being in our band!" Keith added.

Mick just smiled in response. They both hoped into the van. Bill and Charlie shook their heads in disappointment. They threw Mick in the dumpster for a reason and somehow he managed to find them. They really thought they did something. Lol. Mick and Keef kept going on about plans they had for their road trip. Mick really wanted to go to January so Keith yelled into Bill's ear to drive them to McDonald's because he really wanted some lettuce from there. All Mick wanted was eat brains but he resisted. Bill rolled his eyes and began to drive. Mick sucked Keef's penis to pass the time. Charlie shoved them out of the van because he seriously did not want to see dumb fucks sucking each other's dicks.

The Rolling Stones made it to a fairly large city that was located in Wendy's bathroom. Mick and Keef kept making out in the back of the van.

"We should totes do that....." Bill said to Charlie with a small chuckle. Charlie just sighed deeply.

"I just want to go home.... Is that too much to ask for? We've been all over the place and it's been exhausting for me." Charlie explained. Bill just sighed. He patted his shoulder and looked at him dead in the eye.

"Don't you worry about a thing, we'll go home soon." He said in a soft voice. Charlie just looked into his dark eyes. He began to feel warm. Mick chocked on Keef's dick and was trying to figure out how the fuck that happened because his monkey penis isn't the biggest here. He then saw Bill and Charlie kissing each other.

"Oh shit matey!" Mick yelled which resulted in him getting a shoe thrown at him.

Keef got lost and has no idea what just happened. The Rolling Stones stopped by a motel that has been vandalized by Led Zeppelin.

"Oh no.... those damn crusty ass bastards are here...." Charlie added. Bill spotted one of the members who was pissing in the pool. He was truly concerned about them.

"Wotever you lads do.... do not get near Led Zeppelin, those bastards do witch craft and eat goats hearts." Bill explained.

"Oh shut it you! We literally eat goats head soups!" Keef yelled. Bill was hella confused. When did they do that? They checked out rooms that had two singles. Mick and Keef are going to share beds while Bill and Charlie sleep on the other bed. This was going to be a sexy night. Sorry, Rod Stewart is holding me hostage as I write this whole fanfic. The Glimmer Hoes removed their clothes and laid in bed. Keef fell asleep pretty quick. Charlie and Bill stared at the ceiling and fell asleep. Mick didn't need sleep at all. So he went out to the porch and saw two led zeppelin members fucking each other in the pool. He's got some inspo there! There was another band staying in the motel. Mick absolutely hated them with a burning passion.

"Oh those bloody Beatles! we're constantly getting compared to one another!" Mick said angrily. He came up with a very beautiful idea. He reached in his trousers and took out his blade. "Let's Dance! Put on your red shoes and dance the Blues!" Oh Mick loves Bowie so much. He walked up to The Beatles and began to slice their head open to eat their brains. He let one go but was killed by a Led Zeppelin member. There was no point in doing that honestly. Mick went back to the room. He was still hungry and needed more brains to devour. He stood there in the doorway looking at his buddies. He slowly walked in and shut the door behind him.

#the rolling stones #rolling stones #cursed #cursed post #cursed image #cursed photo #cursed content #mick jagger #keith richards #charlie watts #ronnie wood #rod stewart #rolling stones fanfic #crack fanfic #fanfic #writing #writers on tumblr #classic rock #rock

[seven-oomen]

Hi, Ben!  I hope your day is going well so far!  Are you still getting snow, or has the storm calmed a bit?  We’re supposed to be getting a potentially severe ice storm over the course of today.  There’s already a thin layer this morning, we’ll see how the rest of the day goes.  And temperatures are supposed to stay in about the -4 to -6C range the rest of the week.  I’m very glad that I’m off the next couple of days, and managed to get by the grocery last night after work.

I saw your post about writing and writing styles!  It was helpful because I’ve not really seen the different styles written out and explained before.  I’m still not 100% which I am, but probably either an intuitive plotter or a methodological pantser.  Usually there’s a scene or a line or two that I’m like “this needs to happen in this story” and everything else is fairly free-form.  I did try actually writing down an outline for IYWTD, but even then it’s more a list of beats/tropes and the order I want to include them in.  (And I’ve only just made it past halfway through, although a couple may need to be altered a bit, oh god, how did this get so long…)

It’s also always kinda of amusing to me how many of those writing advice lists are like “Don’t do this”, “Stop doing this”, “Never do that”, and then they’ll encourage you to find your own voice and style.  Like, bitch, you just told me not to ever do half the shit that makes up my style.  Which am I supposed to do?  Damn.  XD  (You will seriously pry adverbs and similar descriptors from my cold, dead, grasping hands.  Also the occasional epithet.  No, I’m not using a character’s name nine times in one paragraph, sorry, and pronouns don’t always help if the characters are the same gender.  The reader can deal. ;D )

And I feel ya on the tall, skinny, blue-eyed boys thing.  It doesn’t have to be just a white boy, but if he’s taller than me, slender, and has a pretty pair of baby blues, my higher brain functions tend to go into insta-lag.  I ain’t particularly proud, but I’ve long accepted this about myself (there are many reasons Luke became my forever BAE.)  That’s not to say a lack of any of those is a deal-breaker in the slightest, but it’s definitely going to immediately get my attention.

Speaking (vaguely) of Luke, I had a thought the other day of him and Din being off on some planet together (Grogu is staying with Aunt Leia and Uncle Han for a few days), and there’s a noise in the middle of the night, and Din refuses to accept Luke’s assurance that there’s nothing out there, and in true himbo fashion insists on going out to investigate having grabbed only the darksaber and his helmet to cover his face -but nothing else.  Luke just finds it a combo of hysterical and adorable (and kinda hot.)

I hope your novel is going well (whatever stage you happen to be at), and I’m always up for hearing whatever you feel like sharing about it.

I hope you’re still doing well with the whole eating and hydrating regularly thing (it’s also totally okay if you aren’t!), and I’m super proud of you for sticking to it as much as you can anyway.  That shit is hard.  (Also, ignore the 1500 calories thing, I swear that shit is designed for 130lb women trying to shed a few pounds, not people who need to safely and steadily lose larger amounts of weight.  But then I’ve also never fully understood making someone lose weight before surgery, either.  “We need you to get rid of some excess weight before we’ll okay this surgery to *checks notes* get rid of some excess weight."  Like, weird flex, but okay.)

Anyway, I’m rambling again, and should really eat some breakfast and try to write a little myself today, maybe.  Hope you’re feeling okay, and that things are going well overall.  I hope Mo is doing well, and enjoying his best cuddle buddy life.  Take care!  *Hugs!*

Okay, gonna try this this way so that I can refer back to the links on my phone if need be.  I couldn’t quite see the full entries for the physical descriptions, and when I tried clicking on them it kept asking for a login, but I think I saw enough to get the gist.  I’m not sure exactly what sort of feedback you’re interested in, if any, so this will mainly be my usual sort of rambling stream-of-consciousness type thoughts and questions.  Hope that’s okay.  Feel free to ignore if it’s not what you’re after right now!  :D

I think one of the first questions that popped to mind was where is/what happened to Ellie’s mom, and is that something that’s going to cause problems later in some way?  (I.e.- was she killed on a hunt, are they divorced, was it bitter or amicable [would she come after her daughter if she heard about his relationship?])  I guess technically similar questions could also apply to Nate (late husband, ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, one night stand, sperm donor?) it was just more noticeable with Ellie being so young still.  Although that could also be part of why he’s ended up in Wyoming, which was another question I had, although there I assume it’s hunt-related.

I also anticipate quite a bit of tension of all kinds when he and Nate first meet, because Faron strikes me from his descriptions as someone rather used to being able to get his own way either through the influence of who he is, or through his size (not necessarily in any kind of intentional or aggressive way, more in an unconscious privilege kind of way, if that makes sense?), and I don’t think Nate sounds like the type to give two shits about either of those things, and it would probably drive Faron up the proverbial wall that Nate isn’t intimidated by him in the slightest.  (I could be entirely wrong about all this, this is just the impression I get so far. :D )  And I think Nate being noticeably older than him would just make it that much more irritating at first, too.  Now, how long these impressions last will just depend on how quickly they get to know each other, and whether Bachelor #3 is helping or hindering things.  XD  The potential for just sitting back and watching the fireworks as “laid-back dad jokes with a quick temper” clashes with “quiet, reserved, and possibly takes themselves slightly too seriously” might prove too much for our last contestant for a while, depending on where his personality falls.  ;D  (Especially since Faron coming in and starting shit will likely come off as a direct threat to people and places Nate considers under his protection.)

Also, are any of these three going to have met before?  Will Nate already have some sort of relationship with the werewolf (Does he already know about the supernatural at all?)  Did he and Faron encounter each other on the trip to Europe you mentioned in the Life Highlights?  If he and the wolf already know each other, how does he get along with Cas, or Nate’s pets?  Is the werewolf also going to be native to the region?  Does he know anything about Faron’s family?  Does Faron already know he’s a werewolf, or is that going to be a bit of a crisis for him later?  A test of how well he’s learned not to judge?  If Nate doesn’t already know, how will he deal with both their secrets?  Do you plan for full-shift only wolves, partial-shift only wolves, or a mix of the two like TW?  Are there other supes in the area?

I think you mentioned maybe having him be of Native American descent?  I think that could be very interesting, but would require a LOT of research into which tribes are active in the Yellowstone area, and what their individual mythologies say about things like shapeshifters, and LGTBQ+ issues, etc., because there can be a fair amount of variance, I’m sure.  Also, I’m just overall curious how he’ll fit in with the other two size wise (get your mind out of the gutter, you know what I mean.  XD )  Also curious if any o them are going to have the slightest clue on the feelings front, or are they all going to be just absolute disasters?  Will the kids figure it out before they do?  Will the kids get along?  (Will BachelorWolf have any kids of his own, or just Nate and Faron?)  Will Nate’s coworkers have any clue about either the supernatural, or what’s going on with those three?  Because I suspect at least some of them will be way more obvious than they think they’re being.  XD

Uh… I think that was all that’s occured to me right now?…  I’m sorry you’re having a yucky day overall, and I hope tomorrow’s a bit better!  The ice storm has finally moved in here, and I can feel the temperature drop radiating off of the front door and windows.  It went from rain to freezing rain/hail and I’m not sure how long it’s supposed to last.  Hopefully only a little while.  Also, sorry your book was terrible.  I haven’t seen too many recent recommendations from friends, and I’ve been mostly reading “cozy” mysteries (Agatha Christie, Elizabeth Peters, etc) as my comfort reading myself, lately, so I can’t really suggest anything in particular, unfortunately.  At least, nothing I think you wouldn’t already know.  Anyway, hope you’re getting some decent rest, and hope you have a better day tomorrow!  Take care!  *Hugs!*

Alright since this is going to be like a very long one, I’m break it down into a few things.

First full physical descriptions, cause I didn’t know Milanote would be a bitch about it.

Nate:

164 cm (5'4), 75 kg (166 lbs), Short slightly overweight trans man in his middle age. Nearly always the shortest man in the room, only standing around 5'4 and weighing in around 166 lbs. With kind moss green eyes that have permanent crow's feet in their corners and a polite but reserved smile always on his face. 

A face that's framed by faint freckles that are only visible in the sunlight. A neatly trimmed beard spices up his features and frames his pink lips. His thick but short eyebrows frame his eyes and create a short arc to his slim nose. 

A high forehead separates his brows from his wavy dark blond hair that's always tucked behind his ears. 

He generally wears the Superintendents' Park Ranger uniform while on duty. When he's not he wears comfortable jeans and t-shirts, usually a mono color like green, white, or black, plaid flannel shirts, socks with the weirdest patterns and colors, and hiking boots. He wears a steel ring on his right index finger and has a little steel Mjolnir on a necklace around his neck.

He's missing two fingers (his ring and little finger) on his left hand due to a childhood accident.

Faron:

185 cm (6'1 ft), 93 kg (205 lbs), Faron is a tall man with plenty of muscle from his time hunting. He can seem daunting and intimidating when you first meet him but there is a kinder, softer side to him. He has a warm light brown skin color, blue eyes, and black natural tight curly hair that he keeps very short. His full dark beard decorates his cheeks and chin, connects to his upper lip, and all the way up to his sideburns.

  He tends to wear dark clothing, leather jackets, no jewelry that could identify him, jeans, henley shirts, or V-neck shirts, and black, brown, or red jackets. He usually wears black combat boots or dark brown hiking boots. He's got knives and other weapons hidden all over his body and pockets and it might take him a good few minutes to unload every single knife from his body when he was to disarm.

There are also scars all over his body, including some scars on his neck that are visible from day to day life. He had the bad luck of being struck down by a vicious Wendigo but managed to escape. He survived thanks to his sister's quick thinking and first aid.

He covers some of those scars up with tattoos; he has one tattoo of a dragon laying down on his shoulder, with its head on his chest and its body curling over his shoulder and ending just below his shoulder blades. And one tattoo covers up some scars on his lower arm, it's a tattoo of a wolf's head that covers up a bite mark.

Dichali:

He’s 37 and has 4 siblings, and two children, Kajika & Kaniya (Jika & Niya, identical twins, but one of them identifies as male, he’s trans. Kajika is his chosen/reassigned name. They are 10.) Dichali grew up in Riverton, WY, which is the largest town of 10,000 in the largest Native Reservation in Wyoming. He’s also a dear friend to our Nate (who is also his boss technically) and has slowly been falling in love with him for the last few years. (Although he still hasn’t realized that he loves his friend.) 

Yena, his coworker and friend, who’s much younger at 25 has been watching her coworker and her boss joke and dance around each other. She has a betting pool with her girlfriend on who snaps first.

Not sure how I’ll connect him to Faron if it’s more fun/better to have him find out later or to already know him and keep it quiet. 

I’m still working on him, so I don’t have much of personality and other things written down yet. But I have made his physical description:

At 178 cm (5'8) and 83 kilos (182 lbs) Dichali probably isn't the tallest man you've met, he's also not the shortest. And while he's got some good muscle on him from working as a Park Ranger, and being a werewolf, he also has some softer sides. All the better to cuddle with. He has long straight brown hair that falls to his mid-back and deep brown eyes and a long nose that ends prominently. His eyebrows are thin and he has a high forehead. His skin is a light Tawny color, there's a hint of an orange brown with a cool undertone.

His skin is also relatively clear and youthful looking because of his lycanthropy.

He tends to wear pants and jackets made by native designers and always incorporates native fashion into his outfits. He has jackets of mostly gray, blue, brown, and black colors made of denim, cotton, wool, or brass that are lined with more traditional cloths and patterns like the designer brand Ginew. Usually he pairs them with dark jeans, either black, gray, or dark blue. He pairs it with white, blue, red, black, or printed band t-shirts (Metallica, Green Day, Marianas Trench). 

For shoes he has brown hiking boots that are part of the Ranger uniform, more western styled boots like black cowboy boots, and a pair of sneakers.He also wears a copper bracelet with lighting bolts etched into it.

-

Now this whole story got started because I had the question what if we had a DILF romance going on while/because the following happened?

What if a YouTube video that accidentally got uploaded shows the existence of a werewolf in Yellowstone park? Threatening to expose the entire supernatural world.

The werewolves right now are a mix, so half shift is like the classical half shift of a wolf head on a man’s body, but the full shift is more like a larger wolf. Almost the size of a black bear. Though I might change those ideas as the story progresses.

But that is how the Cryptid of Yellowstone is brought into the world. And that brings problems. Big problems.

Wendigos, vampires, djins, I plan to create a world where a lot of supernatural creates exist. From all sorts of cultures. I’m also toying with the idea of Kelpies and Griffins. That kind of stuff.

The supernatural world is hidden from ours, hidden in plain sight if you will. Most encounters are written off as really strange, sometimes a picture pops up, but with the coming of the internet, things have gotten more complicated. Also with deforestation and competition with regular wildlife has made some bigger supernatural creatures either extinct or thought to be extinct. They’re not sure what still lives in Australia, though.

Nate or his son don’t know about the supernatural world. Neither does Yena. Or much of the world. Dichali, his children (to some extent), Faron, and Faron’s family do know about this world.

-

Alright, as for your other post XD

Right now it’s no longer storming but due to the freezing temperatures the snow’s not going away and all public transport and delivery services are still not driving/delivering/running. So that’s neat. Not. 

I swear we get some snow and the country is just down. Upside, ain’t nobody going outside and this helps with lockdown.

I hope your snowstorm won’t be too bad and everything thaws down soon. Snow’s fun for a day but after that...

Make sure you stay warm alright? And bundle up.

Yes dad... alright XD

Honestly, I’m glad to hear you liked my advice too. I’m getting quite a bit of positive feedback on it and that just makes me really happy ^^. I’m definitely writing more writing advice from everything I’ve learned so far.

There’s honestly so many contradicting ones out there, it’s a matter of picking and choosing which ones work best for you and applying those. And that’s the real trick of advice.

Fun fact, a lot of famous writers are also pantsers. Steven King, Neil Gaiman, George RR Martin are examples of famous pantsers or gardeners as they are also called. 

John Grisham, JK Rowling, RL Stein fall into the plotter or architect category. 

Writers like Hank Green seem to fall in the in-between category of plantser (somewhere between a plotter and a pantser. Or the Intuitive plotter.)

Okay but the DinLuke things is really really kinda hot and cute and adorable and has me smiling <3

And I can’t remember what else I wanted to say since it is like 2 am and my meds are seriously kicking in now.

But I hope you’re doing alright and that the snowstorm isn’t too bad where you’re at.

I’ll be alright, my diet hasn’t been going so well the last few days and I can’t really exercise, but I did mostly get healthy groceries that will be delivered friday so there’s that. 

Fingers crossed I can pick it back up.

Okay I’m heading to bed XD 

I’ll talk to you later, B <3 

Hugs from me and Mo <3

#my ocs #please don't reblog #B #my convos with anon #ben writes original fiction #submission

[hellobrockie]

Some very long Rambly TROS thoughts

Holy fuck there is so much wrong with this movie.

Let's start at the beginning. Kylo tracks down the wayfinder/holocron crystal thing that will lead him to the sith homeworld. We learn that Palpatine was behind both the Snoke and Vader voices in Kylo’s head-basically the dude has been manipulating him for 30 years. Kylo states very clearly he's gonna kill this motherfucker. This is very in line with the Last Jedi- Kylo wants to destroy everything- the Sith the Jedi the Resistance- because he’s tired of the constant push-pull of rejection and manipulation. BUT THEN HE DOESNT KILL PALPATINE???? At first the film argues that he doesn't kill Palps because Palps promises him the big FINAL ORDER fleet? Okay...but I don’t think Kylo really gives a shit about a big fleet of ships when it's offered by the fucker who has been scrabbling his brains for shits and giggles. Once the ‘Rey Palpatine’ thing comes to light, we are lead to believe Kylo went along with the whole final order plan because he wanted to kill Palpatine together with REY???? Ahh okay? 

So now we switch back to Rey. She's basically a jedi, cool. And I guess the Skywalker saber just fixed itself, with literally no scars or anything. A great visual representation about how this film feels about character development that happened in The Last Jedi. So Rey breaks concentration and fails the courses. According to the film, this happens because sheisapalpatine. If you had two brain cells you would realize Rey could be upset for normal reasons ...like that in order to the Resistance to win she’s going to have to put Kylo down like a dog. Its kinda cool that Leia is her teacher (more on that later).

Soo then we spend the next hour on a pointless adventure with the Trio™. Which would be fun, if they were ever established as a Trio. Arguably the real trio might be Rose-Finn-Poe. More on Rose later. Here is a list of incomprehensible things that happen here:

Kylo reforges his mask. Because Reasons? The knights of Ren. Because Reasons?

A handful of force bond scenes. The first one actually isn’t half bad. By wearing the mask, Kylo is rejecting the intimacy inherent to the connection because he is about to  defile it. Grabbing Rey’s necklace is a physical and emotional violation. It's the first time he has ever used the connection for personal gain.  The other connection scenes mostly just play around with the two of them being able to pass each other stuff. They lack the careful editing of TLJ connection scenes. Disclaimer: I’m a pretty hard core Reylo and these scenes really lacked the magic they previously had.This might be un-purpose Kylo is clearly pretty lost as this point.  Dull, lacking in heart like so much of this film. 

Kylo becomes a cartoon power ranger villian spouting Palpatine exposition and attempting to create suspense by almost catching the trio a couple times. Some of the dialogue is almost Revenge of the Sith Anakin level awkward.  It lacks both the unstable angry energy of FA or the sad tired boi energy of TLJ. 

Rey makes force lighting because I guess she was upset and it's a genetic ability now???

Poe gets a female love interest, becuase hes heterosexual. HeTeroSeXUal.

Poe and Finn flirt for a whole hour while Poe checks out some new chick and Finn now has a harem thing kinda. 

Poe is now a spice trader. BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S THE HAN SOLO OF THE TRILOGY. Let's just forget that TLJ establishes that Poe is his own character, probably loyal to the resistance since birth. His parents are rebellion alumni.

Two death fake outs. I don’t know why they had to give 3PO his memories back. He lost them at the end of the Prequels and R2 loved him anyway. Chewbacca capture was a missed opportunity to get some resolution to him shooting Kylo in the gut. 

Hux is the spy. Lovely. He is the ultimate weak bitch. Tbh the most consistent character development. Arguably my favorite detail on the entire film. Perfect execution. Domhnall Gleason is a gift. 

Now onto Endor. Endor has so much potential and squanders most of it.

Finn meets other people who left the stormtrooper program. Cool. Weird how it's tied to force sensitivity. I like the idea of the force putting Poe and Finn in the right place at the right time, but I think to imply people’s ability to escape slavery is tied to force sensitivity brings us to the problematic terrority of the sequels. Also the only one who talks to Finn is also black. And Clearly has a romantic vibe. Okay…..

The Rey Palpatine thing is made explicit. Even though anyone will half a brain figured it out 90 minutes ago. More wierd implications…..who would agree to fuck an old man Palpatine? So Rape i guess. Rey’s parents were normal...is this some kinda side material hook to read more about them or some shit??? Kylo refers to Rey’s parents as ‘filthy junk traders’. He's right. THEY SOLD HER INTO FUCKING SLAVERY. However Rey’s parents are good people??? WTF THIS IS THE JEDI COUNCIL ALL OVER AGAIN.

 Soo Kylo destroys the wayfinder to force Rey to work with him. Anti-Reylos will often get their panties in a twist about how it’s an ‘abusive relationship’. This is the only scene that really comes off as manipulative- in a way it never did in TLJ. Partly because they play up this idea of power-hungry Kylo (which has little basis in reality. In FA he just wanted to make Snoke his daddy. And TLJ Kylo is just soo fucking lonely) rather than sad boi Kylo trying to hold onto someone. Damn the TLJ throne scene is soo careful with getting that energy right, balancing the heartbreak with a little gaslighting (sorry off topic).  Then They Fight. Kylo doesn’t even pull out a saber at first because he literally has no intention of killing her. Rey fights because she's mad. Leia decides to intervene at this time, which is weird because Kylo still has no intention of hurting Rey. Apparently Leia sending Kylo a text is enough to freak him out. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN THE TIME FOR FLASHBACKS, MAYBE A ‘YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE’ TO TIE HIM BACK TO HIS NAMESAKE. 

Instead Rey gets him in the gut. She then heals him, something that should have been really intimate. This would have been time to kiss him in that wistful ‘ I wanted to know what it would be like before I exile myself forever way’. This is one of the scenes that desperately needed more breathing room AND GIVE KYLO SOME FUCKING DIALOGUE YOU COWARDS. Healing him combined with Leia stuff should have reduced Kylo to a pile of tears. I think he would find it completely overwhelming that someone thinks he is worth it, worth a part of their life source, worth their final breathes. 

Oh woah surprise Han Solo. This kinda works for me because unlike robot Leia and fairy godmother Luke, Han looks alive. Plus Han is only a memory so Kylo has to save himself, make his own choice. Aww fuck this got me the closest to tears becuase he looks so fucking sad about the fact that he can’t go home. Damn you Adam Driver and you’re big weepy eyes. His mother is dead and I don’t think he ever truly realized that she wanted him back. I guess with the way things went with Luke, he just assumed he was unwanted. Even now, Han is the only one of the 3 Ben can really imagine taking him back. Who knew Han was such a softie.  At the same time there is something so unintentionally sad about the fact that Ben’s whole family can become force ghosts and not a single one gives enough of  a shit about him to show up at the turning point of his life. 

Also the implication that Ben turns to protect Leia’s lifework is strange. Leia’s legacy is the Rebellion, a democratic senate, a planet wiped off the map, NOT SKYWALKER JEDI #2 JJ!!!!! Ben doesn’t even interact with any of the larger powers at work, he just saves Rey. 

Also while Ben’s guilt and shame about killing Han (his true sin) keep him on the dark side, this doesn’t address the 8 million other reasons he left the light. Also why do Leia and Rey never discuss this???? His own fucking family repeatedly rejected him because of his ‘Vadar-ness’ which is ironic considering…….

Then we cut to Rey’s fairy godmother-esque trip to Ahch-To where she arms herself with all of the Skywalker’s personal effects:

Mad that Rian Johnson denied you that ESB fanservice call-back of Luke being able to pull his x-wing out of water?? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered. 

Mad that Leia didn’t have lightsaber? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered, Leia was always prepared to be a back up to Luke because she doesn’t have her own perspective or anything or like a whole fucking political system to run. Also she stopped training because apparently completing her journey would end in Ben’s death...ooo SmArT foreshadowing that Rey using her lightsaber will end in one dead Ben boi. 

Leia and Luke ALWAYS knew about Rey Palps. Which is funny because they threw their own flesh and blood in the trash because he seemed kinda Vader-y. I guess it's wrong to judge people by their bloodlines unless its your own bloodline. I can’t even. 

There is no mention of Ben at all- even though Leia and Luke both died for him and Rey put her whole heart into saving him.  

Now to Exeger or whatever again. Almost two hours in and we’re back at the planet we were on in the first 5 minutes.

Spaceship stuff happens. Take out your checklist to get those pilot and ship cameos. Ooo look its The Ghost! OG trilogy pilot! Lando is there! WOOO! Poe’s girlfriend lived somehow! 

Ben’s last words are ‘Ow’.

Palps wants Rey to kill him because I guess that will make her evil? Since when does killing people make you evil? I don’t think killing Palps to save the world in the same as ‘striking your enemies down in hatred’ or whatever. 

Oh Hey Ben is here. Palps doesn’t care much I guess even though trolling Skywalkers is his whole life’s passion. 

Palps drains the life out of Ben/Rey. They don’t die. Ben goes flying into a pit. Rey has to face Palps alone because I guess even though Ben/Rey are stronger together and are cosmically linked the lone jedi thing will happen anyway?? Is feminism about doing everything on your own rather than building meaningful connections with your equal partner. Honestly only Men would think a women has to do everything alone to prove her worth, Rey has been wanting allies and family her whole life LET HER HAVE IT. 

Also okay sooo Palps did technically kill Rey’s parents and she had about a whole 5 minutes to think about that. Multiple generations of Ben’s family have been tortured by this guy, so I think it would be rather cathartic to see him play a bigger role in the end of Palp.

Rey enters the Avatar State. Cue more fanservice cameos (I love you Ahsoka, but you said it yourself, you ain’t a jedi). In another backhanded slap to TLJ were back on the TheJediDidNothingWrong line of thinking. Anakin is present ...I wonder if anyone else is interested in talking to him…...

Rey dies. I’m not sure why. Palps legit sucked the life of her and she lived, but the Avatar State killed her. 

Ben crawls out of pit. Damn Adam Driver has legs for days. He heals Rey, its kinda sweet but it's also really really weird that he hasn’t said anything. Not saying we need an over the top love declaration but even his emotionally constipated parents managed to get an ‘I love you’ out. 

Ben saves Rey. The thing Anakin thought the dark side would give him the power to do. Interesting bookend. Sad that my boy has such low self preservation, he gives her his life without hesitation. Why do we have to die for other people? It’s much harder to have to live for other people. To move and grow beyond the past. To try and be our best everyday, even when its hard. Isn’t that real redemption? 

Ben kisses Rey. Awww. Its missing some of the elements of a big romantic drama kiss, which I would be okay with ...if it was followed up with a big romantic kiss with a sunset on a new planet before the credits roll. Alas this does not happen. The audience is somewhat befuddled since their had been almost no dialogue referencing their emotional connections. The ‘no one knows me./I do.’ dialogue from the trailer did not appear in film. 

Ben smiles. It has all the boyish charm and innocence Anakin wished he had in the prequels. Aww he really has never kissed anyone. I wonder when the last time he smiled was. HAS THIS MAN EVER HAD A GOOD DAY HIS ENTIRE LIFE. I am emotionally moved until approximately 2 seconds later….

Ben dies. There is no funeral. No mention. Rey doesn’t shed a single tear. This dude literally gave you his life without hesitation. Is Reylo one-sided? Or at least not equally felt? Ow. U The Resistance doesn’t wonder what happened to the Supreme leader. We know at the end of TLJ Luke became a legend, I do not think this happens to Ben. 

The Resistance parties. Cue Return of the Jedi film reel. Poe and Finn are heterosexual. No resolution to the stupid ReyFinn force sensitve thing. Two women kiss. It will be cut out of the Chinese release. 

Rey buries the lightsabers on Tatooine because you know Luke lived there and Leia once wore a metal bikini there. Rey choose the name Rey Skywalker. Which is interesting because she didn’t get along that well with Luke. She finished her training with Leia Organa Solo, Princess of Alderaan who just happens to have been a result of a sperm donation from Anakin Skywalker. She found a father figure in Han Solo. She loved a guy named Ben Solo. I’m not saying she should name herself Rey Solo, but it certainly is better than Rey Skywalker. I mean it's almost like a person's worth and ability aren’t dependent on either a bloodline or acceptance into the galaxies most powerful family. Rey nobody would have been fine.  I’m not going to get into the feminist angle of a self made women tying herself to the legacy of a man. Cue theaterwide groaning. 

Twin suns. Cool. I liked them better in The Last Jedi.

Rey has a yellow-ish lightsaber and maybe made out of her staff. Wonder where she got the crystals from and why they didn’t introduce it earlier. Possible implication she's going the way of the ‘grey’ jedi? idk some Jedi have yellow actually. Ahsoka had a yellow one. Not sure since this film is back on the JediwayisBest bullshit. 

We see Luke and Leia's force ghosts. Ben’s last word was ‘ow’.

In Summary, some odd implications:

Rey Palpatine is quite possibly the worst idea of all time. Worse than midichlorians. The highest level of fanboy pandering and Rian Johnson erasure. Rey has a lot of very real things to be angry about - her rough childhood, the deaths of her mentors, loving someone as dense as Ben Solo, having to come to terms with the fact that her parents didn’t love her. 

Return to prequel-esque thinking on slavery. Apparently it is not that bad if you sell someone as long as you do it with LOVE. 

Making Finn force sensitive is not character development. Its just half assed pandering and additional exposition in a film filled with exposition.

There is some truly awful dialogue in this film. Its shot composition and editing is so sloppy compared to FA or TLJ. 

The force in balance means killing everyone on the darkside. 

Rose is completely sidelined. She is the only Asian character on screen. She is seemingly replaced with a black woman who has a similar background to Finn and is a scavenger like Rey. Yikes. Why does this feel like an anti-interacial relationship thing. 

Said Black women Jarrah talks to Lando, another black character in a bizarre dialogue that vaguely implies all black people are related. I might be really misreading this, but its weird. I would have liked her to talk to Rose instead because female solidarity. 

FinnPoe is played up a LOT. But we are also repeatedly reminded they are attracted to women. This does not feel like woke Bisexual culture. This is pandering without making a commitment. 

Rey’s worth as a character is related to her connection to powerful people in the Star Wars mythos, not her own traits. 

Ben’s character resonates really strongly with abuse victims and outsiders. His lack of dialogue strips him of a lot of his agency.  His estrangement from his family is not resolved. Vader, who arguably did a lot worse things gets a whole dying monologue and force ghost thing. 

Oh hey C3PO said the festival is every 42 year old….OG came out 42 years ago. heh.

In Summary:

Watch the Clone Wars animated series

Fall in love with Ahsoka

Watch Star Wars Rebels or at least all the episodes with Ahsoka and also the series finale, it's got some cool force stuff in it. 

Think about the cool force stuff in Star Wars Rebels and the cool force stuff in The Last Jedi. Woah.

Apply all this cool force stuff to your own personal version of the Rise of Skywalker

Wait for clone wars finale Feb 2020

Rinse and Repeat

Peg Kylo Ren

Oscar Isaac is the Captain on the FinnPoe Ship. 

The Last Jedi was the Best One. Fight Me. 

Find the fanfiction where Rey tells him what a good boi he is which reduces him to a puddle. Find the fanfiction where he cries during sex the first time, the second time, every time. Find the fanfiction where his force ghost gets a hug, where his family welcomes his back. 

Read Fanfiction:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21852886

What I would do instead:

Delete Rey Palpatine

Ditch the mask. You have a fucking Oscar nomiated actor hiding under it. 

After the Endor part, have Kylo join either Rey or the Resistance. Personally I think him hitching a ride on the Falcon would have been wonderfully awkward. And maybe give some closure the calling Finn a ‘traitor’ thing. This is fanservice-y, but no more fanservice-y than the rest of the film. And maybe finally answer the question of who does/doesnt know who Kylo Ren is. Would like a verbal declaration that he identifies as Ben Solo or least Ben or something. 

Ben can still die I guess but maybe give him some kinda funeral. Or reuse the golden dice symbolism. 

Slow everything done. Let the audience feel sad, feel happy. Oh and cut out those fucking death fake outs. 

#tros #rambling #reylo #spoilers #rey #Rey of Jakku no last name given #why did i write this #catharthis #ben solo

[thedistantstorm]

Come Together 06

Fandom: Destiny

Pairing: Devrim Kay/Marc

Warnings: less smut, angst, homophobia, domestic violence (mentioned) I’m so sorry guys, there is some actual plot happening and I’m cruel.

“A young city planner set his eyes on an older militiaman. He was unkempt and terribly forward. The militiaman had class. He wasn’t interested.”

“Clearly,” Marc tells their friends. “That’s why they decided to get married.”

(A story told in bits and pieces.)

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

-/

Their first fight comes five months into their relationship. And unlike previous relationships and partners past, it’s not some meaningless lovers quarrel over who’s turn it was to do something or plan a date.

It was bound to happen eventually: Marc’s mother running into them on the street, in the market, bright and early one Saturday morning. This had slowly become part of their weekly routine, heading down from one of their places, getting groceries and produce, and then cooking together in the evening.

But Marc had made a fatal error, withdrawing from Devrim’s arm as though he had the plague, introducing his mother, Esther, to Devrim. Introducing Devrim to her - as one of his good friends. Devrim was certainly cordial, very much his usual brand of polite and charismatic, and the conversation itself went off without a hitch. Well, almost.

“And your lady friend? Margaret, you said?”

“Oh,” Marc answered, his willing his face to remain neutral before sighing, lying through his teeth, “Yeah. She’s great. We’re very happy together.”

“You’ll have to bring her to dinner. We haven’t seen her in forever.”

“Her work keeps her away, as I’ve told you. She’s always so busy, I hardly get to see her, myself.” Panic lances through him, but it’s not himself he’s worried about.

His lies cut through Devrim far sharper than any knife.

“Pardon my interruption, but I believe I’ve forgotten a prior engagement,” Devrim had lied, excusing himself just as Marc’s mother - a similarly bronze skinned woman with long, sun-kissed hair - was chastising her boy for not calling home as much as she liked, “You’ll have to excuse me,” He’d said, handing Marc their groceries. 

Marc looked at him in mounting concern, but Devrim’s eyes were dark. Closed off. If he knew Devrim was furious, he didn’t let on, only nodding at key points in his mother’s monologue, watching his partner’s back as he walked briskly down the street.

The very moment his mother let him off - on the promise that he’d call sometime during the week, he all but ran back to Devrim’s flat. The door was unlocked. Perhaps it wasn’t-

His overnight bag was packed and sitting in the doorway. Devrim would even not look at him, his eyes gazing at the wall across from his couch, hands shaking, wrapped around a mug of tea. 

“Take your things and leave.”

“It’s not-”

“Now.”

-/

Devrim isn't at his post the following Monday. All of Marc's messages go unanswered. He needed to see him face-to-face. This wasn't a conversation - a situation to explain over messaging. 

He knew it was doubtful that Dev would be in their usual booth during their lunch hour, yet he still makes a point to look anyway. He checks the entire seating area to make sure that his sniper isn't sitting elsewhere, trying to throw him off. Devrim isn't. Marc will have to try again tomorrow.

By Wednesday, he goes to Devrim’s flat. Stands there for over an hour, like an idiot, knocking every so often. He doesn’t hear any sound inside, and resolves that he must not be in there. Which is strange. Devrim is always home on Wednesday nights. They show some history special he adores - Marc has taken to falling asleep against him while he gushes about Golden Age pyrotechnics and battle strategies.

By Thursday, he’s brave enough to approach the Militia officer who always stands opposite of Devrim in the mornings. Before he can get a word out, she smiles apologetically. “Devrim asked me not to speak with you if you came looking for him,” She informs him tightly.

“Is he alright?”

“I really shouldn’t say.”

“I did something stupid. He must think-” Marc shakes his head. “I’m awful. I just… even if he’s done with me, I want to explain.”

The woman looks him over carefully. “Wait. You did something?”

“I-I’m sorry?” Marc tilts his head, eyebrows knitting closer in his confusion. He composes himself. “Yes. I was an idiot. I handled a situation very poorly.”

“Wow. Uh, okay.” The militia-woman adjusts her hat, tucking a stray lock of dark hair behind her ear. “Honestly, I thought he broke up with you.”

“What?” That makes his heart leap into his throat like nothing else. Certainly he considered it a rather heavy possibility, and really, this whole thing could have been avoided if he’d just told Devrim. But until he had the opportunity to explain himself, he was desperately trying to pretend like that wasn’t the most likely outcome of the situation. For his own sanity.

The woman rambles on, ignorant of his internal struggle. “Well, I mean, you’re getting to the whole committed stage. Devrim doesn’t do commitment. Nothing ever hurts him. He just doesn’t get that attached, y’know? It’s weird for a guy so polite, but I guess that’s why he’s always so mellow.” She waves a hand. “Anyway. This changes things. Maybe he’ll actually get his act together and want to marry you.”

“We’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of months!” Marc exclaims. He’s relatively certain the higher possibility lies with him being excommunicated than marriage at this rate.

The woman pats his shoulder, laughing nervously. “Shh, keep it down! Look, my CO would be pissed if he saw me talking to you. Just… meet me at the combini at noon, okay? I know where he is.”

Marc nods. “Okay,” He says. “I-” He sighs. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Seriously. Dev will be sooo mad at me.”

-/

Marc has met Devrim's partner for Tower patrol duty before. Zara is a bit brash, talks before she thinks, but really does mean well. Devrim is fond of her in the way one was of a little sister. She dips into the chair across from Marc as though she's in a hurry. 

"Here's the deal. He showed up Monday and volunteered for an assignment. They sent him out on the first rover headed for Old Russia. I didn't even know they sent us there, but apparently this was some Vanguard assistance thing. He'll be back tomorrow morning." She pauses. "Running away is kind of his thing. Man's afraid of his own feelings, I think." 

She pulls a drink from her pack, and Marc pushes his container of fries closer to the center of the table. She shoves a few in her mouth around saying, "Look. Usually I'm sitting here with him, telling him he should be talking through his breakups. My track record is way worse than his and I actually want to settle down. Anyway," She flops a fry in her hand, conversationally, "Usually he's the one who messes up. Forgets a date on purpose, then sends you a breakup message so polite you're thanking him before you know he's left you in the dirt. It's savage."

"But that's not what happened."

"Yeah," Zara says. "So what did happen?"

"My mother." He sighs, continuing before he loses his nerve. "She's not… she doesn't know I'm attracted to men."

"Exclusively?"

He rubs his left temple, hazel eyes tired and red. "Does it matter?" He sighs. "I introduced Devrim as a friend."

Her jaw hangs. "Shut up."

"What?"

"He did that to the last guy he was with. Or maybe the one before that? I can't remember. Wow, karma is a bitch." Zara leans back, watching Marc's expression sober. "Sorry, sorry, continue."

"My parents think I'm seeing this woman named Margaret. It's just… better, that way. Keeps Mother from nosing around in my business, makes her and my father think I'm on the straight and narrow.

"No." Zara looks at him, like there's something on his face. Staring almost hard enough that it hurts. "Oh. My. Light."

"Yeah."

"So he thinks-"

"Yeah."

"I gotta hand it to you. You really fucked this up."

"Definitely. I think he's gonna dump me."

"I wouldn't be so sure." She examines a fry before popping it in her mouth. "He's got no problem sending a breakup message." She doesn't explain the part where he'd seemed almost desperate to get sent out on an op, or the way his usual neutral, polite expression was saddened and not even the squad's teasing could cheer him up. "I think he needs some space to figure himself out. And I think you need to figure out your next step."

"Next step?"

"You gonna let your folks think you're seeing a woman named Margerie?"

It's Margaret, but Marc doesn't bother correcting her. He gets the point. "I mean-"

"Let's assume it goes well: you explain, Dev forgives, yada yada. You gonna live like this forever?" Her expression turns soft. "I wouldn't think you're here because you want to see it end."

"I'm not."

She smiles. "Good. Devrim will be back tomorrow before noon. He has afternoon rota with me. I'd try and catch him afterwards." She probably pulls the container over to herself, picks it up, and slides out of the booth. "Thanks for the fries."

Marc nods. Normally he'd be upset, but he'd hardly had any himself. Surely Zara can see the gears turning in his brain.

-/

Devrim spends his week doing what he knows best: fieldwork. Assisting Guardians in translating and understanding Fallen transmissions, using those to determine and rig their bases for detonation. Sniping the stragglers from afar while the Guardians dance about like elegant death - and dancing - machines.

He keeps busy. It helps clear his mind. Helps him re-establish his footing. Gives him time to analyze without obsessing. Not that he's obsessing, no. He's not that type, but… If it were really bothering him that much.

Which, it clearly is, as much as he'd like to admit otherwise. It's not until the convoy is on it's day-long expedition home that he lets himself think about what he knows from Marc's conversation with his mother.

At the time, all he'd been able to think about was this other person she'd mentioned, vehemently trying to ramp down the hurt at not being introduced as his partner, which-

Really, that was a whole other thing entirely, and Devrim had already laid awake at night plenty thinking about why that bothered him so. He might be fussy about entering relationships, and selective about who he keeps around, but he's not the type to fall in love. He's kind and doting, sure, but when it comes to forever he's paralyzed, afraid of making an irreversible, incorrect choice.

And yet, he was unmistakably hurt when Marc didn't tell his mother they were together. Normally, it would be a win-win. This was… 

Right. Getting his brain back on track, he thinks back to the conversation. All of Marc's cues, his body language. They were easily discernible as someone trying to cover up a lie, and no doubt, Marc was lying, but the lie itself was up for debate.

And now that he wasn't so livid he thought he'd scream, he supposed they needed to talk.

-/

A hand grabs him as he's headed into work. He's late, but it's better than nothing. "No. Oh no you don't. You look like you're going to keel over. Sit down."

A half-drank cup of coffee is pressed into his hands, and his rear immediately feels the cold of the concrete sinking in. He sighs, feeling his chest rattle with it.

"What happened?"

He doesn't answer that, instead asking, "Won't the squad be mad if they see me talking to you?"

"Whatever. I'm not wearing yesterday's clothes and look like I'm having an allergic reaction." She looks around. The man who stands opposite her and isn't Devrim shakes his head. "Zara, you know how you never understand why you get in trouble?"

"Can't leave someone who needs help. You know me," She grins, shrugging. "Not my style."

He looks up into deep brown eyes, flecked amber in concern. "I'm fine."

"Right, and I'm Ikora Rey."

"She's a Warlock, and I've never seen you both in the same place. Might be true," Comes the call of the other militiaman.

"Ha ha, Mitchell." She rolls her eyes, crouching down in front of Marc, so they're closer, whispering, "You've been crying. What happened?"

"I told my folks."

She rises, swift and serious. "I'm taking my lunch early," She announces. "Cover me."

"Zar-"

"I know, I know.  I'll owe you one." She winks.

-/

It takes the younger patrolwoman until the end of the day to talk to him. She's surprisingly attentive to her duty instead of mouthing off at him and chattering about every new weapon released by the bigger foundries. She caves though, like a guilty child, eventually holding his gaze.

"You're gonna be pissed at me," Zara says.

The brim of his uniform hat makes his eyes look exceptionally blue. He narrows them at her and she squirms. "I take it you've meddled while I was away?"

"Uh, a bit," The female officer admits, nervously.

"You're uncomfortable. How much is a bit, exactly?"

"A bit," She grits back, before looking him dead in the eyes. "How much do you like him?"

"A bit," He quips, unable to tell if there’s a tease in there or if she’s being serious. She’s acting suspiciously.

Crossing her arms, she asks, "Even though he lied to his mother?"

Serious, then. He adopts a warning tone. "Zara-"

She interrupts. "Answer the question. If you thought he cheated on you, this would have been cut and dry."

He waits for passers by to be out of earshot before answering, "Why does it sound like you're on his side?"

"Okay. First of all, I didn't think he was going to listen to me. But apparently he's serious about you. So if you're not serious about him, I want to know so I can do damage control."

"Come out with it," Devrim snaps, a sinking feeling in his gut. "What did you do?"

"We talked. He explained what had happened, that his folks aren't exactly… let's say kosher with him being interested in men. I might have said something about how if he wanted to be serious with you, that meant embracing it, even if they'd be unhappy."

His jaw tics. "And?"

"Yeah." She makes a concerning face. "Wasn't kosher at all." Zara looks up at him. "They, weren't good to him. He said he knew it wouldn't go well, but he didn't think they'd be so extreme."

"Extreme, how?"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, Kay. I can feel the murderous rampage-"

He crosses the cobblestone walkway, to be at a more conversational distance apart. She almost wishes he’d stay back, because him yelling is far less intense than the drop in his tone and his focused attention. "I will not. Explain yourself."

"I took my break early. Walked him to his flat for some clothes, then dropped him off at mine. Everything's wrecked. He called them last night, it went south, they invited themselves over. He'd left when they started throwing things and having a tantrum. Really childish of them, if you ask me."

His hands find her shoulders, decorum the only thing preventing him from shaking her. "Tell me he's unharmed."

Zara pats his scruffy cheek. "You do have it bad," She marvels. "Physically, he's fine."

#destiny fanfiction #devrim kay #marc (destiny) #devrim x marc #angst #tw: homophobia #listen bungie i'm sorry but i've adopted marc as my own and have given him an entire life and personality and frankly i regret nothing #things get worse before they get better #but they will get better i promise

[paintednailsandsoftdetails]

Fine Line: rambles & rankings

hello here i am eleven hours after being knocked on my ass by one miss harry e styles with some thoughts if anyone is curious!!

1. Golden- the sad bop to end all sad bops!! the dichotomy of this music being the most fun and bouncy (the da das on tour!!) while his voice is the lower, steadier element of the song is so interesting to me? also the pessimism of this song is *chefs kiss* even if the idea of his vulnerability being an undesirable trait to his partner is heartbreaking

2. Watermelon Sugar- she slaps and we been knew!! this wins for best dance number for sure and i can’t wait for us all to be grovin and yelling “high!” back at him

3. Adore You- i think after a week ive concluded that this was my least favorite of the 3 released songs, only just slightly? but i absolutely love singing along to this, and ofc the eroda aesthetic is forever connected to it and absolutely incredible

4. Lights Up- baby light of my life :’) i love lights up and i will always love lights up, shes always gonna be special to me knowing what it means to harry and the way he decided to release it on coming out day with that video, and i hope he continues making art like this for a long time to come

5. Cherry- i? wasn’t?? prepared??? to be perfectly real, i wasnt anticipating this being a fav from what we heard in reviews, BUT THIS? musically this is so exactly the sound i want from him (hozier meets bon iver but make it harry?? BLESSED) and im absolutely in love with it. and his voice!! pulled the first tears out of me on the listen through :’) the way he harps on “don’t you call him baby” in the softest most fragile way over top this melody is art, put it in the moma

6. Falling- MA’AM THESE VOCALS. i love that this is pretty bare bones musically to really highlight the vocals and the emotions, both of which go absolutely off. its maybe not the most ~interesting~ to listen to compared to others, but the power of this LIVE? holy shit thats 100% where this is going to flourish

7. To Be So Lonely- starting with “I was just a little boy” PLEASE BE QUITE im not okay. anyways there is something about the way these lyrics sit in the pocket of the music that im obsessed with. i wasnt sure how i felt about either one their own, but god the way the “arrogant son of a bitch” line is weaved in with these instruments (the strings on this!!), i feel that shit in my CHEST

8. She- hello to what i feel are the most hs1-esque vibes on this album, except definitely different and COOLER!! its weird bc this is a sound that i already easily associate with harry, but lyrically/conceptually this is fascinating territory. There are layers to be unpacked here and ive already seen some galaxy brain interpretations so im excited to let this one marinate (the falsetto and “plays pretend” lyrics… okay ma’am) also the “sleeps in his bed” vocal FUCK! and of course mitchell went off and i cant wait for harr to be all over him on tour

9. Sunflower Vol. 6- MY FUNKY LIL BABY this is so sugary in a way thats not at all cheesy but makes me smile so! much! the gasp, the sounds at the end… could not be more babie and i just know im gonna fall in love with the bits and bobs of this more and more every time i listen. shout out to the Queen vibes i got from the “tonight tonight tonight” parts! and also did i mention the end is the cutest thing what the fuck

10. Canyon Moon- these absolute VIBES shes THAT GIRL!! this is so sweet and tender im soft. the “Im going”s are so fucking PRETTY? the beautiful dulcimer sweetie you are doing so great. idek what else to say this is the soundtrack to the gay indie roadtrip movie i want harry to star in and i love it with my whole heart thats it

11. TPWK- hating on this is literally illegal?? babie made this for and about us and the space we mutually created on tour THIS IS OURS. hes feeling good in his skin and dancing with us!! even if he doesn’t have all the answers!! the Queen vibes in this too we love, and we are going to have SO MUCH FUN singing n dancing with him to this :’) the “loooong enough” vocal and then his “all together now” stuff at the end is so happy, healing and sweet i love him so much

12. Fine Line- *sigh* what am i supposed to say? what can i do? musically and vocally this is everything ive ever fucking wanted (again i didnt quite realize that harry styles pulling a bon iver was exactly my niche but guess what it absolutely is). HER FALSETTO HER VOICE THIS DELICATE TENDERNESS?? Cannot think of a single thing ive heard thats more stunningly gorgeous than the way he sings “we’ll be a fine line/we’ll be alright” so guess thats it for me lmao. similar to cherry, on paper these lyrics are not a hit for me (at least without analysis), but god it doesnt fucking MATTER bc they come across so abstract and transcendent in context (and open my mind to so many other interpretive possibilities) that i cannot not be in love. And then of course the horns come in and we get the hopeful turn…this song makes me feel things on a level nothing he’s made before ever has. 

Overall this album threw me for the loop of a lifetime; its so different from what i was expecting and even hoping for, but without a doubt the most special thing i’ve listened to in as long as i can remember. these songs deliver on a level hs1 barely scratched the surface of, and i cannot wait to see how harry continues to grow and reach even higher places across his career. endlessly proud of him, always.

Extremely tentative ranking 100% subject to change bc this is impossible:

fine line >> sunflower vol. 6 = cherry = canyon moon > lights up > tpwk > to be so lonely > watermelon sugar = golden > falling > she > adore you

#this order isnt it ajssf im sorry #falling she and adore you do not deserve to be that low when #a) fallings vocals are like that b) adore you is so so fun and c) she has conceptual layers and a depth for interpretation that is so !!! #its hard bc the first four just hit so right with me on levels i cant explain #but i think some of my lower ranked songs are stronger lyrically or conceptually #and tbsl would be lower if i wasnt OBSESSED with the music #tpwk would be lower if i wasnt obsessed with the concept #cherry being that high is insane to me but here we are #ANYWAYS LMAO this is what i got come chat with me about it! #fine line #fine line review #mine

[arcanesupern0va]

Rick In The Water; Ch4: Pornostartrek

Summary: W H E R E A R E Y O U ?

A/N: Awwww, shit, who wants some Rick POV? Is it you? Cuz that's what you're getting! What's that? You also want Rick to fight against feelings? GUESS WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU THEN. ehehehehehehe. CW: Discussions of death, suicide and all manner of death Pairing: Rick Sanchez/Reader Word Count: 5329

My ao3

Masterlist

|Ch3: Neon Moon|

I woke up one morning, two weeks after being dosed with truth serum, to Ryan sitting with his back to me, rocking back and forth slowly. I desperately wanted to just roll back over, to just ignore him and go back to sleep but he caught me before I had the chance.

“(Y/N), we need to talk,” he said sadly, and my stomach dropped. My mind raced with whatever I could’ve possibly done to upset him. Sure I’d been spending most of my time hanging out in Rick’s garage, but with my entire day open ever since my salon had to let me go, what else was I supposed to do with my time? Nevermind the fact that I was becoming just as addicted to his presence as he had admitted being about mine, as though his admission made it okay.

“Uh, okay. What’s up?” I asked as casually as I could. I sat up, pulling the blanket up to cover my naked form to give him my full attention as he stood up and started pacing the room.

“Are, are you happy being married to me?” His voice was raw as he spoke. “You’re just never home, and when you are, you’re so distant. I’m starting to think you don’t love me anymore.”

I went into panic mode, prepping myself with my finger on the metaphorical trigger of Rick’s panic button. Was this finally the time? Was this going to be when he snaps? “Of course I love you, Ryan,” I murmured, but as soon as the words left my lips, I knew they weren’t true. I hadn’t loved him for a long time and no amount of mental dampening would ever change that. Unfortunately, judging by the look on his face, he was coming to a similar conclusion.

He never got the chance to try to confirm his fears as a portal opened up in our bedroom, Rick stepping through, looking at me frantically.

“Nova! Nova, I need you to come with me!” he pleaded, grabbing me by my wrist and pulling me up from my bed and toward the glowing green orb.

“W-wait Rick! Where are we going?” I demanded, yanking my arm out of his grasp to cover my now exposed nude form. He gave a frustrated groan, averting his gaze.

“L-look, something’s not right with Morty! I just need your help.” he explained, annoyance seeping into his panic.

“And you were going to drag me off to help him in the fucking nude?” I asked hysterically as I started digging into my closet, looking for something to return my dignity.

“Is Morty okay Rick?” Ryan asked, his voice dripping with concern. I pulled on a pair of sweats and a tee-shirt, slipping on my trusty running shoes,

“He’s not going to be if Nova doesn’t hurry the hell up,” Rick said, panic taking over his voice again as he watched the window nervously.

“I’m here,” I announced. “I’m ready, let’s go.”

I followed him to the portal, sparing a glance to Ryan who watched sadly as I disappeared through it. I knew that conversation wouldn’t stay unfinished, but at least for now, I wouldn’t have to deal with it.

The portal dropped us into a small apartment, with Morty nowhere to be seen. I scanned the room, quickly realizing this was a den of a man who had all but given up. Old take-out tins littered the floor, mixed in with crushed beer cans and trashed gadgets. The room was dimly lit, making it hard to decipher much of the filth spread across the room, but I could make out a picture resting on a filthy pillow on an even filthier couch. I squinted, attempting to make it out but try as I may I couldn’t see anything other than a feminine figure.

“W-where’s Morty?” I asked nervously, but Rick’s face no longer wore a look of panic. Instead, a watery smile was spreading across his face as he gazed lovingly down at me before pressing his mouth to mine, kissing me desperately. I pulled away, shocked at the brazen assault.

“I missed you so much Nova; I thought I would never see you again,” he murmured, resting his forehead against mine.

“M-Missed me?” I sputtered, pulling away from the desperate man in front of me. “Rick I just saw you yesterday. Circling back, what the fuck was that kiss?”

He looked at me with sadness in his eyes as he started pacing. “Goddammit,” he swore in frustration. “I just, I was hoping you and your Rick would’ve crossed that bridge by now,” he rambled, wringing his hands together.

“ My Rick?” I demanded, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Nova, I’m sorry,” he raised his hand to my face, his wrist opening up to expose a small aerosol can. It sprayed mere inches away from my face, making my head spin. “I’ll explain, I promise. Just not right now.”

And everything went dark.

+Rick+

Where in the hell was Nova? Usually, when I saw Dipshit’s car pulling out of the driveway, she popped up like clockwork. I wracked my mind, thinking of something I could’ve done to upset her, and while there was more of a list than I’d like to admit none of it wasn’t recent or offensive enough to earn me her version of the silent treatment.

Maybe she had laundry to do or something. She’ll be here eventually.  

I turned back to my workbench, going back to the atomic speaker I had been working on, but I couldn’t quite focus. I had felt the alarm from rubbing her panic button, but it had been one of the many comfort alerts, nothing that would signify something was wrong.

If she wasn’t here in an hour, I was going to go check on her.

*+*

Ok. where the fuck is she?

I stormed up to the house, preparing to give her a piece of my mind for making me worry about her. Sure, I had only waited forty-five minutes, but my brain decided to take me down the dangerous path of immediately jumping to the conclusion that Ryan had done something to her. I rapped on the door, peeking into the windows as I tapped my foot impatiently. Her car was still in the driveway, she had to be home.

Thirty seconds.

A minute.

My mind raced with images of her being knocked out, hurt or god forbid dead. I pulled out my portal gun, opening one to her room and stepping into it. There didn’t seem to be any signs of a struggle, but her phone was still on her bedside table. That was… weird. I sat down on her bed, turning the screen on to find a text from Ryan.

“I hope everything’s okay with Morty, we’ll have to pick up where we left off when you get back. I love you.” My nose wrinkled in disgust at the message as I tossed it back onto her bed, but its importance wasn’t lost on me.

“I hope everything’s okay with Morty.”

The fuck did that mean?

I opened another portal, this time into Morty’s bedroom. Summer meant the kid was still sleeping, so I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him violently. He awoke with a horrified gasp as I glared down at him.

“Wh-where in the fuck is Nova?” I asked him urgently. Shit man, dial it back. She was probably fine.

Right?

“I-I-I don’t know?” he exclaimed, confused. “I haven’t seen her since last night.”

“So you didn’t talk to her or anything? Telling her something was wrong?” I grilled him.

“N-No!”

Well, fuck me running.

“Well she’s not home, and there was a message on her phone, hoping you were okay.” I spat at him, panic starting to consume me. I pulled out my flask, taking a soothing swig from it. If I wanted to figure out what the fuck was going on, I needed to keep a steady head.

“Why were you going through Aunt Nova’s phone?” Morty asked angrily.

“Everyday, Morty, every fucking day Nova shows up after her idiot leaves for work.” I shouldn’t have to explain this. Morty knows she’s at the house almost every goddamn day. “She didn’t show up today.”

“O-okay and? She has a life, Rick,” Morty reminded me viciously, “Maybe she had other shit to do?”

“Okay, that could be true Mo-uuurp-ty.” Pausing to take another swig, I considered his response. “Then what’s up with the text message. What- how are you logicing that one out genius?”

“I don’t know, Rick! Maybe she lied to Ryan, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Except with how docile he is, she doesn’t have to,” I shot back at him. Even though Morty’s explanations made logical sense, something just didn’t feel right.

“I-I-I don’t know Rick, maybe it’s just habit at this point,” the boy grumbled, climbing out of bed and pulling on his jeans. “I’m sure she’ll be over later, th-then maybe you can act like a clingy bitch to her and not me.”

“I-I-Wha-Fuck you, Morty,” I stammered, “I was worried about her, her fucking husband happens to beat her from time to time. Or are you going to keep ignoring that like everyone else in this fucking house does? Th-th-that makes me a clingy bitch? Paying fucking attention?”

“Uh, a little bit Rick?” He glanced over at his clock. “Ryan’s only been gone for an hour. You’re in full-tilt panic mode a-a-after an hour? Plus, if your mental dampener is working so well, why are you freaking the fuck out?”

“I said it wouldn’t work forever Morty,” I spat at him. “I-if his internalized, repressed rage becomes too much for it to handle, i-it’ll short out and it’s all going to come out at once.”

He didn’t respond, so I followed the boy out into the kitchen, letting my mind go wild with potential scenarios. Beth entered after us, an annoyed look on her face as she read a message on her phone.

“Dad, could you not be portalling into Nova’s bedroom?” she sighed, ”Ryan just texted me to ask, he said you scared the shit out of them.” She rolled her eyes as she tossed her phone on the counter. “What were you doing over there anyway?”

“I-I wasn’t there? At least, not when Ryan was,” I assured her. “I went over there looking for her, but she wasn’t there.” Her phone buzzed again and she sighed as she picked it up to read the new message.

“Well, yeah, he said you showed up, freaking out about Morty and disappeared with Nova,” Beth quickly looked her son over. “What’s wrong with Morty?”

Oh, fuck me.

*+*

“I fucking told you, Morty!” I shouted, dragging him behind me into the garage after assuring Beth her son was just fine, for now anyway. “How many times are you going to doubt my judgment?”

“When you stop being completely erratic,” he mumbled. “L-look, clearly one of the other Rick’s kidnapped Nova. Do- do you think it’s because they want something from you?”

“Yeah, and they’ve already got it,” I growled as I opened the small metal cabinet I kept all of my anti-Rick technology. Fuck, I didn’t want to have to explain this to Morty. Jesus Christ this was going to be awkward.

“Th-There are some Rick’s- on the citadel Morty- that developed a romantic relationship with Nova. Those Rick’s lo- care about their Nova’s like they’re the physical embodiment of a Blips and Chitz or something.” Attaboy Rick, compare her to an overpriced fucking arcade, that’s what she deserves. “So either you’re right, and they’re holding her for ransom, which would probably be an easy fix or some heartbroken stupid ass Rick lost his Nova and came for ours. And that asshole is no-uuurp-ot gonna wanna let her go.”

Morty processed a moment, before a look of confusion passed over his face. “I-I didn’t see any Nova’s at the citadel when we were there.”

“Well Morty, if you weren’t so n-narcissistically focused on yourself and all the other versions of yourself, you would’ve seen her. Sh-she was there, you just-- just had to pay attention,” I insisted. I could feel my throat tighten, her absence felt like a glaring hole in my side. I slammed the metal cabinet shut, tossing Morty an anti-Rick pistol of his own and downing the remnants of my flask before pulling out my portal gun, punching in coordinates for the citadel.

God fucking dammit.

I opened the portal to the citadel, stepping through and immediately groaning. How fucking narcissistic was I to have so fucking many statues of myself in one city? Morty hopped through the portal behind me, eyes wide with wonder as he looked around, still utterly fascinated by this hellhole.

“C-come on Morty,” I ushered him past a Batman Rick and Robin Morty as we cut down a small alley, headed to the one place I did not want to go.

The Council.

I gave the Rick at the front desk a brief rundown of the situation, as he typed into the computer in front of him and gave me a number. Seventy-seven of… thirty. Fucking bureaucratic nonsense. This was going to take forever. I refilled my flask at a complimentary cooler, taking a swig. Ah, the space equivalent to vodka. It had been awhile. I paced back and forth as we waited… and waited… and waited.

What was happening to Nova? Was she okay? What the fuck was the fuckwad doing to her? Jesus Christ, when did I become such a fucking baby?

Thirty-one.

Thirty-two.

It had been half an hour and only two Ricks had gone in front of the council. Why wasn’t this a higher priority? Didn’t those assholes have a Nova of their own? They didn’t deserve her if they did.

Thirty-three.

Thirty-four.

Another thirty minutes. At this rate, if the Rick that took her was going to do anything to her, he’d already would’ve had time to wine and dine her. Would she know it wasn’t me? I mean, there was no way for her to tell if he didn’t tell her himself.

Thirty-five.

Thirty-si-

Fuck this.

I barged in front of Number Thirty-Six Rick, dragging my Morty behind me as forced my way into the Council Hall. “The fuck are you doing?” Thirty-Six Rick shouted at me.

“Wh-whatever parking ticket you got will have to wait,” I told him angrily. He followed me into the hall, the five Ricks sneering down at us.

“Rick N-682, to what do we owe the honor?” Riq IV asked smugly. “Rick J-384, we’ll be with you in just a moment. return to the waiting room.” Rick J-384 started to argue, earning him a one-way ticket out of the hall, courtesy of the Soldier Rick stationed by the door.

“You assholes owe me after that Evil Rick shit,” I started viciously.

“You got your one free Morty coupon N-682,” Rick Prime shot down at us. “What more do you want?!”

“SomeRick came to my dimension and kidnapped the Nova from it.” My heart raced as the Ricks started murmuring back and forth, some wearing actual looks of distress.

“When did your Nova go missing? What is your relationship status with her?” Riq IV asked finally, his tone significantly less venomous than before.

“Sh-She’s my neighbor. Spends a lot of time around m-my house.” I did fucking not want to get all in my confusing fucking feelings about her with this asshole. “She’s one of the Nova’s that married Dipshit, what’s his name, Morty?”

“Ryan.” Morty sighed.

“She married Ryan.” I spat his name out. “U-usually she shows up every morning after he leaves for work but when she didn’t show up I went to check on her and she wasn’t there.” My heart raced as I rambled. “Beth got a text from Dipshit saying I portalled into their bed-bedroom and took her because something happened to my Morty, but I was never there.”

“Y-You let your Nova marry that fuckwad?” Quantum Rick asked furiously.

“I-I didn’t have much choice. I wasn’t around when that happened,” I admitted. “A-anyway, that’s not important. What’s important is someRick took her for Rick knows what reason and I have no idea where she could be.”

“Alright N-682,” Riq IV mediated, “Computer! Bring up reported Nova d-deaths in the past six months.” The huge screen to the right lit up with images of beaten Novas, apparently taken out by their Ryans, a Nova that was smashed in a car accident and countless other heart-wrenching scenarios.

“Wh-what the fuck are you Ricks doing to your Nova’s?” I blurted out, horrified at the images I was presented with. Morty covered his eyes next to me, unwilling to see his beloved Aunts in such horrendous situations.

“What is the likelihood of your Nova not knowing the Rick she’s with is not you?” Riq IV asked, pointedly not looking at the screen himself.

“H-How am I supposed to know? I don’t know what the asshole is doing with her!”

“Computer! What Ricks did the d-deceased Nova’s belong to?” A list of Ricks appeared on the screen, along with the cause of death associated. “Computer, run a filter for Ricks who’s Novas were killed unexpectedly but also romantically attached.” The list shortened considerably, only four Rick’s remaining on the screen. The computer printed out the list for Riq IV who looked it over before passing it down to me. “Here’s a start N-682. Two of these Rick’s live here on the citadel, the other two in their own dimensions. Keep us updated on your findings. Good luck.” I grabbed the list out of his hand, opening a portal to head to the first Rick.

*+*

“Y-Ya know Rick, seeing Au-Aunt Nova like that…” Morty trailed off as stepped through the portal to the first Rick on the list’s home on the citadel.

“It fucking sucks doesn’t it.” I hissed at him, unwilling to sort out how that might be traumatizing the kid,

“M-maybe it is good you did make that dampener,” he murmured. Ah, he was starting to see sense. It’s about fucking time.

“W-Well yeah. Like I said, I’m not the biggest fan of domestic abuse,” I relented.

“Oh give it up Rick, I saw your face too when those d-dead Novas came up on the screen,” Morty chided. “Y-Y-You looked fucked up too.”

“Wh-what do you want from me, Morty?” I asked venomously, stopping at the stoop of the small house.

“You care about Nova. M-m-more than you’re willing to admit,” he probed viciously,

“Wh-Whate-*uuurp*ver you say, Morty,” I dismissed, ending the conversation with an urgent knock on the door. Morty conceded but still eyed me smugly.

What in the hell did he want from me? Nova mattered to me, sure, but he was making it out to be way more than it was. Sure, I liked having her around, but if worst comes to worst I could just go get another Nova, they were just as replaceable as Mortys. Or Jerrys. Or hell, Beths.

Goddamn, you’re full of shit old man.

The door opened and a solemn-looking Rick greeted us disdainfully. I resisted the urge to blow past him and scream Nova’s name, hoping she would reply. Emotional thinking like that would only get us killed. Instead, I had to lie. But, hey, I was good at that, I lie to myself every goddamn day.

“Hi, we’re here on behalf of the council, may we come in?” I asked, putting on a very professional front.

“Wh-what do you assholes want?” he grunted in response.

“Just a moment of your time Rick,” I glanced down to the paper Riq IV gave us, “T-394. Just some routine questioning. In and out.” He relented us, leading us through his dingy home. My eyes scanned every room we passed, falling on a picture of this Rick and his Nova. It was obvious she had been the one to take the picture, judging by the irritated look on his face. T-394 noticed my pause and turned to look at me.

“She died a couple of months ago. Car accident on the citadel,” he explained thickly. “What did you want?”

“M-My Nova just went missing,” I admitted softly, before shaking my head and clearing my throat. “We were wondering if you had heard anything about anyone kidnapping Novas.”

“Why in the hell didn’t I think of that?” T-394 said, irritated. “Look, no. My Nova was the only person I’ve met that was even remotely irreplaceable. Besides, Ricks don’t let them go willingly. And for the Novas that never met their Rick, those are few and far between at this point.”

“The Novas that didn’t meet their Rick?” Morty asked.

“Most of the time, Nova ends up hanging around with Beth but there are a scarce few whose parents moved them across the country or Beth and Nova just weren’t friends. Rick’s that lost their Novas used to go after them, trying to rekindle the relationship but it doesn’t always work,” I explained, exasperated.

“How’d you lose her anyway? Are you sure she didn’t just run away? Some Novas do that you know,” T-394 scoffed.

“She didn’t- Nova didn’t fucking run away you dick,” I bit back, “Some fucking Rick appeared acting like he was me and said something was wrong with Morty so she went with him.” T-394 nodded but didn’t speak. “If I come back here, after going through all these other Ricks and she’s here, I’m going to kill you, you know that right?”

“You’d kill me if she was here right now anyway,” he retorted, unfazed. “I’ve dealt with my Nova dying. I moved on.” The look on his face, however, completely refuted his claims.

“Yeah, whatever you say. You better hope I don’t have to come back here,” I threatened darkly, pulling out my portal gun, pressing in the coordinates to the next Rick.

“Oh, fuck me, buddy.”

“Yeah, fuck you.”

*+*

The next Rick lived in a high rise in the city. Morty and I took the elevator to the top floor, ignoring all of the Rick bums sitting outside on the street.

“H-How are there Rick Bums? Aren’t they smart enough to just leave and go back to their dimension?” Morty asked.

“Life on the citadel is preferable for most Ricks, but some have a hard time making a life here. L-look, I’m not here to teach you ethics, Morty. Figure it out on your own,” I told him harshly.

“Jeez Rick, if this Rick that has Aunt Nova is in love with her or whatever, isn’t she gonna be okay?” Morty shot back.

“Yeah, that’s if Nova doesn’t fight back or do anything that could possibly be construed as an escape attempt.” My heart was racing again, and I quickened my step at the thought. “We don’t know anything about this Rick, Morty. He could be a fucking psychopath.” We approached the door, knocking urgently. The Rick that answered had long blue hair, and instead of the usual Rick attire, wore a long Hugh Hefner-esque cigarette jacket and lounge pants. Ugh, the upper-class Ricks were the fucking worst.

“The fuck do you want middle-class Rick?” he barked from the doorway.

I took a deep breath, trying to control my temper as I went with the same line from before. “We’re with the council of Ricks, may we have a moment of your time?”

“Fuck off. The council knows not to bother me,” he dismissed, moving to slam the door in my face. “You’re not from the council.”

I caught the door with my hand before pushing my way in. “No, I’m fucking not but someone fucking took my Nova and I am going to find out who one way or another.” Hugh Hefner Rick stepped back in shock, clearly not used to people standing up to him. He sighed, allowing Morty to follow us into his disgustingly decadent apartment. Long mirrors hung from the walls in a horrendous display of vanity, along with an advertising standee for Jerryboree. “Wa-Wait, you’re the Rick that came up with Jerryboree? I-I don’t give praise often, but that was ingenious.”

Hefner Rick shrugged, glancing over at the standee with irritation. “Y-yeah, bigger headache than I anticipated.” He walked over to a small stand with crystal bottles of various sizes and poured himself a drink. “Now what’s this about your Nova being kidnapped? How the fuck did you let that happen?”

“I-I didn’t let anything happen,” I roared. I was really getting tired of having to explain this over and over. “SomeRick came into her house, pretending to be me, told her something about Morty being sick, or hurt or fucked up or something and she went with him.”

“A-And you think I had something to do with that? My Nova died from an overdose,” he said flatly. A horrified look formed on my face and he continued, “This life ain’t for everyone. I can’t have someone that can’t hang holding me back,” he shrugged again, lighting a fury within me.

“Oh, so you’re one of those Ricks,” I challenged him, completely disgusted. Morty looked between the two of us, looking confused so I elaborated. “Most Ricks lo- care about their Novas, but then you have these assholes who use them and throw them away like garbage.” Venomous hatred was coursing through me as the Rick in front of me made no attempts to defend himself. He knew what he was.

“It is what it is,” Hefner Rick confirmed nonchalantly.

“Let’s get out of here Morty,” I spat at the other Rick one last time before opening a portal back downstairs on the street. I paced angrily once it was closed behind me. Morty watched me cautiously, trying to think of the right thing to say.

“R-Rick, we should probably get to the next one,” he said in what I assumed was an attempt at a comforting tone.

“Fucking dick. H-How do you just let someone like her just fucking die like that?” I shouted, drawing attention from the other Ricks and Mortys passing us on the street. “She deserves better than that. There are Ricks that would kill, o-or kidnap to have a Nova in their life. And he just- he fucking let her die? I should go back up there and kill him myself.” Ricks and Mortys were stopped in their tracks, as Morty pulled the paper out of my pocket, looking at the next destination. I let him pull the portal gun out of my pocket as he fumbled to punch in the coordinates.

*+*

As we appeared in this dimension, we were immediately greeted with its resident Rick and Morty. They eyed us suspiciously as I glared down at Morty.

“You’re not supposed to portal directly into a Rick’s garage,” I chastised him before looking back up to the Rick. “Rick U-679, I’m Rick N-682, I just had a couple of questions for you,” I told him, dropping all pretenses of the council. I was running out of time.

“I don’t have anything to say to you fucks,” he growled back at me.

“Your Nova died not too long ago,” I posited, ignoring his slight.

“Yeah, what of it?” he asked defensively.

“My Nova was just kidnapped and I wanted to know if that would be something you knew anything about,” I accused. It was either him, or the last Rick and my patience was running thin.

“I haven’t left the house in weeks. My Morty can tell you,” Rick dismissed, turning around with a wave of his hand. This dimension’s Morty nodded, rolling his eyes.

“He really hasn’t. Ever since Nova died he’s been hyper-focused on trying to figure out how to resurrect her,” this Morty explained,“We’ve even got her corpse downsta-”

“Shut the fuck up Morty,” U-679 shouted, delivering a blow to the back of his Morty’s head. “Look, I want my Nova back, I don’t want some fucking hand me down that doesn’t know me from the Rick she knew. Now, get the fuck out of my dimension,” he snapped.

I opened my mouth to continue, but Morty U-679 shook his head fervently. I rolled my eyes, portalling back to the citadel.

“This last guy, W-358 must be the guy Morty. Are you ready to fuck this asshole up?” I asked, pulling out my laser pistol, checking to make sure it was working properly.

“D-Do we have to kill him?” Morty asked hesitantly.

“For all the headache I’ve had to go through, yeah, I’d say we have to kill him,” I assured him darkly.

“It’s just- aw jeez Rick seeing those two Rick’s who lost their Novas, it seems like they were just hurting,” he reasoned, rubbing his hands together nervously.

“I fail to see how that’s my problem, Morty. It’s simple. You don’t steal from another Rick.”

“I-Is that all Aunt Nova is to you? A possession?” Morty accused me. I stopped my inspection to look at him, narrowing my eyes at him as I spoke with as evenly as possible.

“Of course not Morty,” I fumed, “Y-You just don’t get it, Morty.”

“No, you don’t get it, Rick,” Morty argued back. “You c-care about Aunt Nova. Why can’t you just admit to it?”

“I-I already did?” I shook my head at him, going back to my pistol.

“Y-Yeah, you try to make everyone think she’s just something of yours with your ‘my Nova’ this and ‘my Nova’ that, but you are going insane not having her here. I can see it on your face and in your rage about how that rich Rick, as you said, threw her away like garbage,” he ranted.

“L-Let’s just get your Aunt back okay?” I said dismissively, stowing my pistol back into its holster. “You can get all worked over feelings and shit when she’s safe.” I opened a portal in front of us, preparing myself for a fight as I stepped through.

Holy shit, was I unprepared for what I walked into.

Rick W-358 was perched at his workbench, slumped over the table. Oh, and his entire fucking head was disintegrated from the laser contraption secured with a metal clip to the side of the desk. Something awfully similar to the one I had at home. Jesus.

“H-Hey Rick!” This dimension’s Morty was calling from elsewhere in the house. I grabbed my Morty, pulling him out of view from the garage just as he entered the grisly scene. “Hey, Ric- HOLY SHIT,” he shouted. My Morty and I shared a glance as W-358 Morty screamed for his mom. I opened a portal, disappearing on the other side.

“H-Holy shit Rick,” Morty gasped, bending over a trash can to vomit. “H-Holy shit. Don’t you have one of those at home?” he asked me with a horrified look. “W-Were you gon- A-a-are you gonna-”

“N-No Morty!” I sputtered. “I mean, it’s there if I e-ever needed it, but I have no immediate p-plans to.”

“Jesus Christ, that poor Morty,” he lamented.

“Y-You’re missing the point, Morty. That Rick obviously didn’t take Nova,” I changed the subject, lest I end up losing my breakfast too. “So that means either one of the Ricks from before, or someRick completely different.” I sat down on a nearby bench, resting my head in my hands as feelings of hopelessness finally crashed over me.

“S-So we go back to the Council. O-Or, m-maybe you could create a device to g-go through each dimension to find her. There’s gotta be something we can do,” Morty reasoned desperately.

There was nothing Morty could say that would make me see sense, nothing. It was the gentle alarm going off in my cybernetic arm that finally washed those helpless feelings away.

Nova’s panic button was going off.

+Ch5: I Wanna Be Yours+

#rick and morty #rick and morty fanfiction #rick sanchez x reader #rick sanchez/reader

[i-want-to-be-manhandled]

more trans ramblings (tramblings?) - to T or not to T, that is the question

so i’m writing this so i have some thoughts to show my therapist next week instead of scouring my brain for them but im posting it on the internet instead of keeping it in a word document or some shit cause i need some of y’all to relate and i’m already way too personal on here anyways. and also at this point this is my personal blog too, i’ve given up entirely on keeping it just for video games. tl;dr: please tell me i am not the only one with stupid amounts of doubt going against the stupid amounts of evidence that i am very transgender. 

tw: long post, doubts, testosterone/hrt effects discussed in detail, (don’t read this if you know me irl and haven’t personally talked with me about being trans? otherwise go ahead), nsfw cause we’re talking about genitals but mostly towards the end of the second to last paragraph (i’ll strike the nsfw stuff), mention of rape but no discussion of it happening, lemme know if i missed anything

so as my last transpost said im very excited for my hysto that im nowhere near getting but im flip-flopping as to whether or not i want to go on t. i know i can get it fairly quickly if i decide i do want it. there’s a trans health clinic in walking distance from where i am moving in 23 days, i have 3 therapists who will write me a letter of recommendation for testosterone, and my mother even found me the trans health clinic so she’ll try to find me somewhere else to go if they don’t take me in for some reason. (having a supportive mom is great i don’t miss her crying about how hard it is to have a trans kid in january and february.) and i’ve looked thoroughly at the effects of testosterone and have sorted them into pros, neutrals, and cons. (posting it here again mostly bc i need to do it but i also need some of yall to relate and/or validate me and/or answer my weird questions)

pros:

voice drop. im so tired of having a squeaky voice which is exacerbated by me always being anxious, and my sister has a deeper voice than me and always tries to sing ridiculously low parts to stretch it for some reason which makes me feel insecure. and apparently my voice is “always squeaky” according to my dad and like? shit man i pass until i talk that’s just the tea. 

i dont even care if i have a super deep voice, i actually think i’d rather be a solid tenor because that’s the vocal range of most of my favorite songs, but i want to sound like a man when i talk and not an 8 year old girl

side note apparently a lot of trans guys have male “internal voices” but mine just sounds like how i sound when i talk because i’m a very literal person and that’s why it took me forever to figure out i was trans and not having a male internal voice makes me dysphoric sometimes and even doubt that i’m trans at all... that’s dumb af i know it’s just my literal personality type not me actually being a girl

more muscle. i dont work out as it is right now but if i knew i’d see results the way i want them then i probably would. also im getting ripped during the school year anyways bc i walk everywhere with a 15-20 pound backpack strapped to me so i’m at least gonna look semi muscular which is what i want anyways. please give me strength quite literally i can barely lift bro

bottom growth. ik it’s still not going to be ~enough~ or whatever but i’d have... something? that would be nice. 

side note would packers start to be uncomfortable with something there bc i wonder about that sometimes. not that mine is super uncomfortable now or anything (i just haven’t figured out how to make it sit right) but i wonder about that

NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS

if im one of those guys whose periods dont stop on t i am actually going to perform a hysto on myself

fat shifting from hips, thighs and butt to my stomach. i don’t care if i have stomach chub or not, but i DO care that my hips are Like That and my things are Really Girly and i have a fucking Girl Butt TM like please just let me Not Have These Problems

having a more angular face. doesn’t happen to everyone per se but because of my facial structure as it is and also what my dad looked like when he was my age, i probably will get this change. i have actively wished for this since i was 13 and didn’t even know dysphoria was a word. hopefully it makes my lips a little thinner too or at least more masculine.

veins becoming more prominent. i have this one pic of me where it looks like i have Guy Arms and i just wanna look like that all the time ya know

lookin like a dude and passing? that counts right

neutrals:

facial hair. i know a lot of trans guys want this but i’ve never wanted one. i just want a jawline to cut a bitch tbh i’m never having more than stubble except the beard imma wear to my high school reunion

body hair. this is more of a pro-neutral ig bc i want it on my arms and legs but would prefer not to have a lot on my chest and stomach. fortunately i dont think my dad has a whole lot but i’m a pretty hairy afab person as it is i just dont wanna be a werewolf lmao

hair loss at temples. i just don’t care about my hairline enough for this to really bother me. maybe i will when it happens but *shrug*

scents of sweat/bo/urine changing? idk i feel like it will be weird, maybe gross if it turns out bad but honestly i don’t really care what i smell like as long as i don’t smell like a dumpster fire? i shower it’s fine lmao

rougher skin? i dont know if i’d like having rougher skin but i also dont like being an uwu soft boi so

acne. nobody wants it but like... i already have stress-acne right now and don’t really give a shit because i hate how my face looks anyways. not that i want a fuckton of acne because nobody does but im not gonna cry myself to sleep over it ya feel? it’s an annoyance but not really a con

cons:

increase in sex drive. not to be nsfw but masturbating is a chore as it is. it hasn’t been fun since i realized i had crippling bottom dysphoria and even then i can’t get off unless i’m completely distracted from my body (either through porn or being too tired to care). also i have like a 2% chance of ever having a partner so i really dont wanna have to deal with having the sex drive of a 12 year old boy when im 19, single, depressed, and dysphoric. im not even asexual but this is the worst con

emotional changes. yall know at this point i dont have the best temper, and i dont want t to exacerbate that. now, some of my friends have said that t has made them much calmer and actually less irritable, but the rest of my friends said t makes them angry. i have poor anger management and i know it. i don’t need it made worse. it’ll fuck my life up for real

increase in appetite. listen i have gastritis, ibs and acid reflux i cannot afford to be needing to eat more than i currently do

so as yall can see i have a fair number of all 3: 8 pros, 6 neutrals, and 3 cons. and what’s more, all of the cons are things that don’t have anything to do with my appearance (which my therapist and i noticed during our session a couple weeks ago and really made me think i should go on t). so then the answer should be clear: i should go on t, right? deal with having a fucked high sex drive and be pissed off because of it but finally be able to see my reflection in the mirror. so it should be obvious. what the hell am i waiting for?

the main reason i’m hesitant is i’m afraid i’ll want to detransition. even though i KNOW it rarely happens and the women who do thought they were trans because of unaddressed traumas relating to being female or have a personality disorder. i have neither of those things: the only female-related trauma i have is being slut shamed by my mom for wearing tank tops and any shirt that wasn’t a crew neck and one guy saying he’d rape me in 9th grade because he thought rape and sex were the same thing (for his sake i hope he’s grown the fuck up!! i’m not traumatized from this i just made my teacher not let him sit next to me in class and told him to stop talking to me. sadly this is the most sexual attention i’ve ever gotten), and the only mental illnesses i have are depression and anxiety (unless we’re counting dysphoria, which i definitely have). i also sometimes feel like i discovered it too late: i didn’t say “i’m not a girl” until i was 14, refused to explore my gender until i was 17, and didn’t fully accept i was trans until i was 18. and other dumb shit: i never tried to pee standing up so im not really trans even though i didn’t know what a penis was until i was like 9, ive caught myself twice recently wishing for longer hair which made me feel feminine and gross and dysphoric (even though i know hair length =/= gender??), and im not in danger of suicide if i don’t get testosterone and top surgery RiGhT nOw. the prospect of me detransitioning isn’t likely, when you look at all the facts, but the prospect makes me anxious because everything makes me anxious. i am the poster boy for anxiety. and yes, i know i would have said that even when i accepted that i was technically the poster girl but i would have said poster boy anyways because it was “gender neutral” and didn’t rub me the wrong way like poster girl would have. same reason i insisted on being a dude instead of dudette and only described myself with words that didn’t have a female equivalent in french class even if it wasn’t true. so what the hell am i waiting for.

like i know i shouldn’t be doubting at this point because it’s so, so obvious that i’m trans. just because i didn’t try to pee standing up when i was little or ask why i didn’t have a penis doesn’t mean i’m not a guy. i logically know this. like when i was 11 and i insisted to myself i had a male brain but knew i shouldn’t say that out loud because that was weird and i wanted to be a normal girl who didn’t have a weird male brain, and when i was 7 and at my friend sarah’s house and her room was super pink and girly and i literally thought the sentence “is this what i’m supposed to be like?” and when i was 14 and cut my hair into the Typical Queer Girl Pixie Cut and my hair was just??? gone like i wanted it to be when i was 9 and ended up with a bowl cut instead, and instead of looking in the mirror and thinking i looked like an owl when i was 9 i smiled at how “androgynous” (masculine) i looked, and when i was 11 and only hung out with boys at summer camp and they treated me like one of them and the girls were really mean to me but it was the best summer i’d ever had, and when i was 15 and my friend chris joked that i was the “guy” in my lesbian relationship and i was so fucking happy, and when i was 15 and starving myself because i loved my “angular” figure and jaw,  and when i was 16 and wearing a dress to winter formal because my ex met me in one and i wanted to be cute for him but i picked the dress that looked like a suit because it looked very “queer” (masculine), and when i was 14 and literally went “hmmm im gonna bind my chest just because i wanna know what it would look like” and it made me so euphoric and i knew in that instant i wasn’t a girl but repressed it for 3+ years because dealing with it would just be too hard, and when i was 11 and knew it was going to be my last day going to school without a bra on and just being so ashamed even though i wanted breasts so i’d be a normal girl, and when i was 16 and wearing that backwards snapback all the time and my friend said it was what tops did and i was so happy that nobody would consider me a bottom or whatever stupid shit because i couldn’t imagine myself being penetrated ever in my cisgender gay life, and when i was 16-17 and scouring the lesbian section of pornhub for pov/strap-on videos bc i wanted to know what it would look like to fuck a girl with a dick without watching straight porn because i’m 100% a gay female because the word lesbian is too girly im not a trans guy or anything haha, and when i was 14-and-onwards wondering why it felt so empty between my legs and why it felt like i was supposed to have a dick lmao im totally a girl though haha, and when i was 15 and had to google how to masturbate bc i couldn’t figure it out naturally and still felt like i was doing it wrong, and when i was 15 and looked at my vagina in the pocket mirror i got from selling like 30 boxes of girl scout cookies in 2007 and my first thought was “that is not my body,” and when i was 16 and actually very upset that i couldn’t ejaculate when i orgasmed. trans who? what the fucking hell am i waiting for

seriously. i was 7 and looking at my 2nd grade yearbook photo thinking “that doesn’t look like me,” and i was 13 and looking in the mirror saying “that doesn’t look like me,” and i went through all of my adolescence waiting for “puberty to turn me into a girl” and then i was 17 and done with puberty and crying because my body was still wrong. i can’t believe how hard i tried throughout my whole adolescence to be some facet of “normal girl” so i wouldn’t get bullied and be dateless forever and thinking “puberty hasn’t turned me into a girl yet” and not stopping to think about what i was if i wasn’t a girl until puberty was done, i realized it wasn’t going to happen, and it was too damn late for me. now i’m 19 and don’t leave the house without either a binder or a sports bra/baggy layers combo and i’d wear my packer everywhere if i could figure out how to get it to sit right (and also get it past my parents lmao).  like if anyone else rattled off that list of trans shit i wouldn’t question them for a second. but because it’s me and i’m like “what if i’m transwashing my memories? what if i’m gaslighting myself?” i’m still not on testosterone and please validate me. tell me other trans people doubt themselves, no matter how obvious it is that they’re trans. tell me it’s okay to doubt hrt, even though you know it will be so much more likely to help you. tell me it’s okay to be afraid of detransitioning, even though it’s okay if i DO decide to detransition and it’s so unlikely anyways considering all the evidence of Me Not Being A Fucking Girl.

if you read this all the way to the end here’s an awkward hug and some brain bleach im not even drunk or high i can’t even blame substances for this behavior 

#kieran screams into the void #to t or not to t #that is the question #i think i should go on t after rereading this post #but im still a lil skeptical bc of that anxiety ya know #also pls laugh your ass off at my dumb high school self #im here to provide the most quality entertainment #it took me 3 hours to type this

[anigraham]

This is going to get long so, lol...

1. What’s your favorite system? 3.5.  Or a stripped down pathfinder so there isn’t 9,001 classes to choose from.  (And yes, I prefer it over the homebrew version I talk about sometimes, lol.) 2. What’s something you hope to do/accomplish in a D&D campaign? I have so many D&D bucket list items!  First one that comes to mind is I hope to romance an NPC someday.  May be setting myself up for heartbreak as surely the DM will have something horrible happen to said NPC, but ya know.  

3. How important is a strong story line to you? It’s what I live for!  I mean, it isn’t going to ruin my fun if the campaign doesn’t have a strong/deep story attached to it, but man do I eat it up if it does~ 4. What setting do you prefer playing in? Mid-level fantasy.  I want some magic, I want unique creatures, and I want some gods, damnit!  It doesn’t have to get too crazy or anything, but I want some magic in the world.   5. Have you or any fellow players have a character die? What happened? Yeh.  My first character death was a stereotypical elven archer.  It was a TPK to a scorpion.  2e is brutal, man.  A character deaths you don’t know about... I played in a campaign where two players had their characters as siblings.  Well.  One fated day, the younger brother died.  And he died after being given so many second chances, but after so many the DM (and even some of us players) were like...death happens.  It was in a world where resurrection isn’t an option really.  (He died to a mammoth that was infected and controlled by a parasitic “plant” thing that drains your CON.)  While it was disappointing to the brother player, the sister player became super depressed.  We ended the session early, but the next few sessions he just had a lot of trouble focusing and getting into it.  It affected him pretty badly.  We then took an extended break hoping the player would feel better after he took some time, but he didn’t.  We ended the campaign because of it. 6. What is your favorite D&D monster or creature? THE FRICKEN TARRASQUE.   7. What’s your favorite race and class? Half-elf and Paladin!  As rambled more in detail here. 8. Who is a favorite NPC you have encountered? Does the Triad count?  Because that was pretty dang awesome and I love Ilmater forever. 9. Where do you get your inspiration to make a character? My brain.  My process tends to be. . .I think of something I want to have in a character and then I build around that.  Lore really helps me.  Ok started with the idea that I wanted to play a serious character who doesn’t show much emotion, then he became a drow, and the rest followed.  My skittish tiefling idea came to me because I decided, I should play a tiefling and reading the lore...I found it interesting the ways it describes tieflings handle prejudice and I felt like I never see or hear about the tieflings who kind of feel shame or hurt.  Then the rest got built around that. 10. What’s one of your favorite character moments? I am still a fan of my overly optimistic and happy wood elf, hearing a terrible voice in his mind reminding him of some traumatic event, and then upon seeing a nothic and knowing that was the cause of it. . .saying “Please die now!” and shooting it at the surprise of the entire party. 11. What’s the best thing that has ever happened during a session? Being able to actually cry on cue for a scene with Morghain and being able to turn it off when the scene was over.  I loved hearing everyone react! 12. What’s the worst thing that has ever happened during a session? Probably the character death I mentioned above.  Just watching our friend and fellow player become so dejected and unable to keep playing.  And it was doubly hard because that campaign had been going on for so long and so many of us were really enjoying our characters, really invested, and then we had to stop since someone just couldn’t keep going with the story. 13. What kind of characters do you typically create? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The closest I have to a “type” would be melee fighters.  Definitely what I am usually comfortable with.  But I actually try hard to play different things, even if I am only changing a handful of things.  I like to try different races, classes, and different quirks/personalities.  When playing with a new group I tend to go friendly/helpful fighter type so I can learn what I can and can’t get away with in the future, lol.  Not everyone will be comfortable with me playing a former slave or a lying bitch. 14. What is your character’s backstory? Since I think you know most of my current character’s backstories. . .I will go with an oldie.  A little gnome named Lorelai Brassgear!

She grew up in a very small town with a very large family.  Her family were the owners of the local grain mill.  Lorelai had bigger aspirations as she seemed to have a natural talent for using magic. . .something very rare among gnomes in her world.  She became determine to someday go the mages college in the big city and learn to explain the workings of magic through the use of science and math.  (Gnomes in her world are inventors and focus on science.  They actually have a penalty when using magic.)  One day after exploring a nearby cave-in with some of her friends from the town, they discovered that her entire village had been destroyed in an orc raid.  All their families had been killed.  Lorelai and her friends barely managed to get away and so began the start of her campaign. 15. Do you have any goals for your character? When it comes to Natali I just gotta accept I cannot have goals.  Everything is a surprise with her and nothing goes as planned.  My goal is not to die while fully expecting her to die.

16. What is a song you associate to your character?   Even though I haven’t played her very much, I have already associated one song with Cass.  The English version of “aLIEz” done by Amanda Lee.  I imagine Cass as a very conflicted and struggling woman, which I feel like this song captures.  I am especially fond of the following lyrics...

I say “Liar!” I say “Rise in hell!”  I am just about to burst as they say, “War!” I’ll wage war. I hate war. There’s no end to this...can’t you see that? 17. Does your character have any quirks? If so, what are they? My skittish tiefling sometimes slips into speaking in Infernal when he is talking to himself outloud.  If anyone points this out to him, he will be a bit surprised and doesn’t believe it.  His arcane focus is a medallion that he likes to fidget with from time to time.  He also has a habit of arguing with his familiar (usually an owl) as if she was a person. 18. Do you have a certain accent for your character? No.  I can’t do accents period, really.  I might try adding a little something to the way I talk for certain characters, but I think I struggle with consistency.  Loran I tried to speak higher and “friendlier.”  With Ok I try to sound more monotone as I don’t imagine he would be very expressive in. . .anything. . .let alone his voice.  

I can do three voices.  An absurd “old man” voice, a weird. . .voice (that I use for like faeries), and my own voice.  Haha.  But if I can’t even mimic accents from around the world, I sure as hell can’t come up with voices for characters. 19. What character (or type of character) do you hope to play in the future? My skittish tiefling, Mr. Pemberley~!  He doesn’t like being a teifling, feels bad about it, gets super nervous around new people and always assumes that other people expect the worst of him.  He kept his nose in books and is a wizard as a result. . .and is most comfortable (and confident!) when playing with fire.  Probably because he is a tiefling. . .but don’t suggest that to him. 20. What’s been your favorite campaign? Campaign would be the one we didn’t finished mentioned above, sadly.  But I am also really enjoying Tomb of Annihilation.  

#ask me #survey #questions #dungeons and dragons #I honestly don't mind being asked to do 1-20 in one go #usually I see these things and want to do them all anyway so...lol #And hey some questions can be answered multiple times for different characters! #long post