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#i can’t draw ponies well anymore and then it kind of hit me like
veloriium · 4 months
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save me emo fluttershy
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jinmukangwrites · 3 years
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Just a short whump piece I wrote to warm up for something else. Enjoy!
Prompt: a fae creature is trapped in an iron cage.
Warnings: description of injury, burns, near death situations
Basically, now that I know Hyrule can canonically turn into a fairy, he will know no peace from me.
-o-o-o-o-
Hyrule doesn't know how he's gotten here. Or, well, he does know how he's gotten here. He knows every detail by heart of how he's gotten here. He just… doesn't know how he's allowed himself to get here. 
He's exhausted. Every inch of his body aches down to his very bones. He's hungry too. Emotionally drained. But he can't do a thing about it. Not when he's as small as a butterfly and about as strong. 
Why did he think scouting ahead in his fairy form was a good idea? The day's been peaceful so far, and he shouldn't have tested fate. But… he's been itching to fly. And it's strange, because he knows he's lived most of his life up until fairly recently with his feet firmly on the ground and his head reaching the shoulder of a pony. 
Yet ever since he's first flown with wings attached to his back… sometimes when he's his normal self his shoulder blades ache and the world feels claustrophobic. 
So yeah, he offered to scout ahead as a fairy. He didn't exactly tell the others that he'd be going in that form… he'd never hear the end of it from Legend… but they probably could tell he was yearning for some space. Hyrule figured that Twilight always went off on his own. Why couldn't he?
And now he's here; fluttering weakly in a metal cage. 
He didn't expect to run into a camp of moblins. He tried the best he could to fly away, but one of the damned creatures thought too quickly and snatched an old lantern. It poured the oil, opened the door, and scooped him out of the air. Hyrule only realized the lantern was made of iron when he scrambled for the latch and his hands began to burn. 
There's a reason fairies are put in jars. Not that Hyrule would like to be put in one of those either. 
His skin burns. The moblin seemed to realize his weakness to the metal and shook him around a bit before hanging the lantern up in their rancid cave, snorting joyfully. They left soon after to celebrate by the bonfire outside, but the damage was done. He's pretty sure there's not a single bit of exposed skin that isn't irritated or blistering. His cheekbones feel tight and his palms are red... His arms and legs look like he's gotten into a fight with stinging nettle. 
The worst part is that even with his shoes he cannot rest. The burn of iron still seeps through as if he's as good as naked. The only way he can fully avoid hurting himself is flying in the center of his cage. However, he's small and he's already been flying for hours. His wings are tired, and the tips of each frail and transparent limb are singed a painful brown from them brushing against the cage unintentionally. There's not a lot of room. 
He's sure he won't last much longer. His body feels so bruised and battered and his eyesight is starting to blur. The strain of the muscles used to move his wings burn just like the iron. Soon enough, he will blink and not open his eyes, exhausted to the point he passes out and lands on the metal floor below him to sizzle. 
How, oh how did he land himself in this one?
He tries to distract himself from the pain. He looks out of the bars of the lantern, fluttering as closely to the small gaps as he dares, and memorizes the room below him. But he quickly grows bored with that, so he hums tunes to himself. But even that gets tiring when his throat starts to demand water. 
How much longer will he last? If he falls onto the iron, will it kill him? Or will it just be an endless torture that he can never escape from until he's starved to death? 
His eyes droop. His wings stutter. Fear clutches his heart in sharp claws, but there's nothing he can do. He's been trying for so long that his body is deciding to stop for him. He can only hope that once he hits the bottom of the cage, the agony will be enough to give him just enough adrenaline to restart his efforts and keep going for a little while longer. 
His wing jolts. His foot touches the bottom and he screams. It's all he can do to lift himself back into the air. 
Distantly, he's aware of the moblin's screeching getting louder and agitated. There's... there's fighting out there. The clanging of swords. Human shouting. Voices that are familiar to him. 
Hope and terror and fear and joy and a whole mixture of all kinds of emotions swirl in his stomach. His friends. They have come for him. 
His wings shutter and fall limply to his back, and as he falls he wonders if they've come too late. 
Immediately, his entire world is engulfed by fire. He can't find it in him to move. He's not sure his muscles work anymore. All he can do is gasp and writhe on the floor of the lantern as his skin sizzles. He tries to listen for his friends through his tortured sobs, he tries to watch the entrance of the cave through his tears, but his attention is weak and the pain is strong. He's almost tempted to give into it and let it consume him. Maybe he'll pass out and the pain will stop. 
A shadow. A shadow appears in the mouth of the cave. Drawing up the last of his strength, Hyrule crawls to the edge of the lantern and looks through the gaps to get a clearer view. 
In walks a familiar head of pink hair below a blue hat. Hyrule has never been more happy to see Legend. 
"V-vet-" he whimpers. Legend twitches and looks around the cave with wide eyes. 
"Traveler?"
Determination fills his bloodstream, right next to the agony. "Up," he sobs. "Up."
His arms give out and he lands fully on the ground, his head making a dull thunk as it hits the metal. He cannot see if Legend heard him, nor if he knows what Hyrule meant. All he can do is curl up and sob pathetically as the pain doesn't lessen. 
He doesn't know how long he stays like that, but somehow he's aware of the world shaking carefully next to the creaking of metallic hinges. His eyes, however, fly open when a soft hand touches his body. 
Tender fingers lift him from the bottom of the lantern, and the next thing he knows he's laying in the middle of Legend's cupped palms, the lantern discarded on the ground and the rings he usually wears nowhere to be seen. 
He still hurts. He's still hungry. He's still exhausted beyond belief. 
Yet, the second Legend brings his hands and Hyrule closer to his chest, making it so he can hear his worried heart, he finally loses consciousness.
"I got you, Rule," Legend whispers. "We found you."
He's safe now. He can sleep. His friends came, and everything will be okay.
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beigehearts · 3 years
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The Price of Self Respect
Read part one here! PART II CW: mutilation, gore, puke
 1,729 words
____________________________________________
He’s observing you, every inch of your body. He stared as if you were an art piece, but you begin to wonder what was the true meaning behind it. His grin disappears as if he realizes he’s showing too much emotion. “I never thought the creator would look like this. Though it’s never good to assume.” 
Somehow his comment struck a chord in you, and you aren’t someone to stay quiet. “I never thought the Spider’s Leader was a pretty boy, though it’s never good to assume.” You scoff and shake your head. His eyes widen though you aren’t bothering to look at the man anymore. “Wire me my money- I have better things to do than stay where my mission is finished.” You turn on your heel and click your way out of the room, and Chrollo didn’t try to stop you. 
Laying in bed at 7 pm, watching an oldy cheesy and romantic movie, you bite into a sour gummy worm. You snuggle deeper into the large, soft bed, sinking into it’s warmth and achieving nirvana. Maybe you should go to a bar. You haven’t gone out for a drink in a while, you try not to be intoxicated for a week before a mission. It could slow you down. Seeing as you have no missions, and assuming you won’t for quite a while, you might as well indulge yourself.
After putting on minimum makeup, and a comfortable but cute outfit, you call a cab to pick you up at the front of the hotel. You used the hotel phone of course, not your own to call a cab. Before you head down to the lobby, you quickly draw a thread ring on your finger. If any nen is use within five feet of you, it will snap. This was you don’t have to constantly exhaust yourself by using gyo constantly. 
You are shielded from the rain by the awning in front of the hotel, you hold your arms to your chest as a chill runs through you. It’s quite cold today, you’re surprised that it’s not snowing or sleeting. A yellow car pulls up to the curb and you rush into the back seat. 
“Hi, I’m headed to the Lotus Bar.” You say in a sweet voice, as you do to anyone providing you a service. 
The man in front of you seems cramped in this somewhat small car. He’s wearing a cabbie uniform besides the hat. His hair is in a high pony tail and his head is only a few centimeters away from the roof of the car. He nods towards you and mumbles, “Okay.” 
You try not to think much of it but the hunter in you tells you to worry. You know there are weird people in York New city, and your thread ring hasn’t broken so you should be fine. 
Five minutes into the car ride and you reach the highway, at this time the cabbie starts to make conversation. “You don’t look like you’re from around here.” 
You put on a fake smile even though he can’t see it, “Yes, I’m just visiting for a few days. On business.” 
He nods while keeping his eyes on the road, “What kind of business? Are you an auctioneer?”
“No no, I’m just here meeting some coworkers. It’s more of a business vacation than it is a business trip I should say.” Rain hits the windows as if trying to break through the glass and hit you. Car lights are blurred because of the heavy rain and you wonder if the cabbie would be able to see clearly enough out of the front window. 
The cabbie pulls over to the side of the highway and sighs.  “Is it raining too hard to see?” You ask innocently.
He turns in his seat towards you, he has a crooked nose, and deep deep eyes. His frown doesn’t falter when he says, “We’ve reached our destination.” 
The ring on your finger snaps.
He lunges at you, grabbing you by the throat and punching you impossibly hard in the gut. Your body begs to cough violently but the hand around your throat prevents you to. You punch him in his crooked nose and he loosens his grip on you. You contort your leg to kick him in the neck, and he goes flying into the dashboard. 
Blood splatters all over the car’s shitty leather seats when you cough so hard that you become worried your organs will be coming out next. You scramble for the car door and leap out head and hands first. Right as your hands feel the cold and wet road, he grabs your ankle. You glance back at him and his lips quirk upwards, “Nice try. “ The cabbie grabs your thigh and calf, with brute force there’s a loud crack. It takes a moment to register in your mind- but not long. You scream out in agony, and slide out of the car and onto the road once he lets go of you. You flip onto your back and see it, your leg is bent in a way that no leg should be bent. The sight of it causes bile to rise in your throat, and you turn over, everything that was in your stomach forcing itself out of your body. Once everything has left your stomach, you flop back down on your back and grit your teeth in pain.
The man steps out of the car, and picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder. Your foot digs into his rib cage, simply because it’s been forced into an unnatural position. You feel a buzzing coming from the man’s pocket and he grabs his phone and answers it, as if in no rush at all. 
“Nobunaga. What’s taking you so long?” 
You conjure your pencil and begin sketching in the air.
“I’m on my way.” 
It’s starting to come together. A ferocious creature.
“Chrollo told you to be here ten minutes ago. Did you sit down and have a damn drink with the girl?!” 
The incredibly large dog begins to form into a physical creature.
The man, Nobunaga, groans and growls into the phone, “I’ll be there soon.” He hands up and puts his phone back in his pocket.
Nobunaga stops and turns when he hears an eardrum shattering bark. His eyes widen but he’s not quick enough to stop the feral dog you’ve created. It sinks it’s fangs into the back of Nobunaga’s leg, and takes a chunk out of him. He screams in pain, collapsing, unable to stand at this point. Things begin to go black, the pain becoming too much for consciousness. You reach out for the dog and as it stretches to grab you gently, to run away with you, it whimpers loudly. It begins to dissipate into dust. Someone had attacked your dog with nen. Above you, standing in the ashes of your large pooch, is Chrollo. 
“Come on, let’s go y/n.” 
Your mind is fuzzy, sounds are nothing but unintelligible nonsense, and your sight has already gone. At least the pain would be gone for a while, if you woke up. 
Who knows how much time has passed, certainly not you. It’s quiet, deafeningly quiet. You peel your eyes open. which requires a lot of effort. Your body is fighting you to stay down but you sit up with much pain. Your stomach feels as if a wrecking ball has slammed into you. You pull the shirt that is not yours up and see a black and blue bruise blooming on your stomach with sprouts of yellow. Speaking of, who’s clothes are these? You look down at your legs, wearing sweatpants much to big for your frame. You feel down to your knee and wince, it seems to be back in place, and wrapped carefully with some kind of nen. 
A sigh escapes your lips and you take in your surroundings. It’s dark but your eyes have adjusted to it already. You lay on a makeshift bed, with a light sheet covering your bare feet. The floor is concrete but so are the walls. The room is maybe, 10ft by 7ft wide. The only light in this small, claustrophobic room comes from the moonlight through a hole in the ceiling. 
Your eyes wander towards the entrance of the room, a man sits on a wooden chair that looks incredibly uncomfortable. His eyes don’t even look up from his book when he says, “How are you feeling y/n?” 
“Well, my leg is broken and I’ve been kidnapped. So not bad.”
He closes his book and chuckles, then gently places his book on the floor next to him. “You put up quite a fight. It was wonderful to see you create something so beautifully.” Chrollo sits on the floor at the end of your makeshift floor bed. “It truly was delightful.” 
You look down at your hands in your lap, “How is Nobunaga?” 
“He’s okay, he’s been through worse.” 
“Whose clothes are these?” Suddenly you have many questions that you want answered.
“They’re mine.” He states. Though the statement surprises you, you could never imagine Chrollo wearing sweatpants and a white t shirt. 
“So what am I here for. Information? You gonna torture me? Go ahead, you guys already broke my leg.” You say as if he’s the one who broke your leg.
Chrollo stares at you in wonderment. “You have quite a lot of questions. I can’t blame you.” He looks up to the single light source and nods to himself. “I’ve been observing you for quite a while. 
Once the words reach your ears, a red tint covers your cheeks. How could you not have known he was watching you? How long has he been watching you? How much does he even know about you?!
“I’m a specialist as well. I’ll let you know what my nen ability is.” For some reason this makes your heart pound, do you want to know what his ability is? 
“I take other people’s abilities, so they can no longer use it, and I can use as many as I take. That’s why I tracked you down. Your ability is quite unique.” He looks at you with a genuine smile, “But then I began to like you too much to just take your ability. So instead I took you.”
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samstree · 3 years
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You are too well tangled in my soul (2/4)
Inspired by The Time-Traveler's Wife.  
Pairing:  Geralt x Jaskier
Geralt is a time-traveler, and Jaskier falls in love in a slightly misplaced order.
Warnings: referenced child abuse and mentions of chronic pain
Read on AO3
Calling the Witcher ‘old friend’ at the tavern was probably a mistake. The Geralt walking in front of Jaskier looks exactly the same as he remembers: golden eyes and rugged jawline. And yet, this is the furthest Jaskier has ever felt from him ever since the first sunset at the lake.
There is no warmth to greet him, no knowing smile or softness, only indifference that bleeds into annoyance. The gut-punch is as loud a declaration as it gets. This Geralt is the youngest Jaskier has ever seen him, hardened with weary travels and open night skies, and yet seasoned enough to have settled into distrust and isolation.
As they trudge through Dol Blathanna, the notebook filled with their encounters sits in Jaskier’s pocket, every date recorded with the utmost carefulness, burning a hole onto his mind. How does he explain it? How does he explain that he’s been friends with the Witcher for eight years while he only glares at Jaskier with derision? No, that is too unfair.
Besides, even if he dumps it all out, Geralt is unlikely to just…transform into the person in Jaskier’s memory. This Witcher is not the ever-present friend of Jaskier’s childhood, not yet. He knows better than most that you can’t force people into becoming someone they are not.
Jaskier leaves the notebook at the bottom of his pack.
At the edge of the world, he witnesses the heartbreaks of an elf king. The second-hand stories he knows by heart now pale in comparison. A taste of the real world, of the real pain humans have been ignoring is all it takes for Jaskier to be sure of his path. He is a storyteller. Destiny has decided that when it brought the amber eyes into his life at the age of eleven, so he tells the story. He writes the song.
Jaskier starts following Geralt.
They settle into a routine: monsters, songs, and nothing more. There are no mythical powers that can bring his best friend to him anymore, only the newly acquainted Wolf Witcher who now tolerates him with glowers.
It shouldn’t sting when Jaskier sings their adventures at taverns and Geralt only grunts as feedback. It shouldn’t sting when his chatter is only answered with silence or an absent-minded hum. It shouldn’t sting when Geralt flinches upon hearing Jaskier refer to him as friend while begging to see the hunt himself.
“We are not friends, Jaskier.”
It shouldn’t because it is where their story begins, properly this time. And yet it does.
Seasons pass. Jaskier cannot stop searching for recognition in those amber eyes. Nothing comes up. Still, he searches.
  Geralt notices.
Of course. As subtle as Jaskier would like to believe he is, his companion is too perceptive. We can tell by the heartbeat when someone is lying or hiding something. He learned this long ago by the lakeside, when Geralt indulged his curiosity by debunking all the Witcher myths. No, Julian. We cannot read minds.
His excitement that day reflected in the Witcher’s eyes that were amused by a child’s wonderment.
Can he tell what Jaskier is hiding now?
Jaskier stares long at his form on Roach when a throw-away comment from the Witcher brings him right back to the lake, all the words stuck at his throat.
“You’ve been quiet, bard.”
“What? Miss my lovely voice?”
“Glad for the silence.” Geralt drops it, but his gaze lingers for a moment.
At night, Jaskier helps the Witcher remove his armours, a newly formed habit as their travels settle into a familiar rhythm. His fingers untie the complicated knots. Geralt’s breaths brush by his ear.
A warm hand comes up to steady Jaskier by the elbow, the thumb drawing small circles on his chemise. It’s a comfort that he has received so many times before, a reassurance that he can trace by heart. And yet, Geralt is unaware.
Jaskier’s breath hitches in his chest, his heartbeat suddenly rabbiting.
“Alright?”
He cannot acknowledge the concern, scared that more will be revealed. Muttering something about being late, he fumbles away to his bedroll and burrows deep. As the churning in his mind subsides, Jaskier falls asleep hoping that it never comes up again.
  It comes up again.
They sit by the glowing campfire, Geralt having just returned from a hunt in the forest. Despite the Witcher’s reluctance, Jaskier nudges him to spill the details and takes them down for new songs. The scratching of his quill fills Geralt’s contemplative pauses.
“This is all very good, Geralt. It’d make a great song. But what was the wyvern like? Come on, help me paint the picture.”
“It was…big, and green.”
Jaskier chuckles, his quill hovering mid-air. So many times before has Geralt only described a monster as ‘big’ or ‘fast’, even the older, more mature Witcher he met in his teenage years sometimes struggled with more adjectives. Being the curious child he was, Jaskier pestered incessantly for more during their short encounters. At night, he would lie in bed, playing out the scene in his head, clashes of magic and steel lulling him into sleep. Now, almost a decade later, he sits in the exact same spot in front of the Witcher, desperate to learn anything from a quest, just to be stunted by Geralt’s inability to form words.
“Some things never change.”
Jaskier smiles to himself and continues to fill in the blanks with more theatrical touches. A song does not become the greatest hit on the Continent just with plain facts and verbs. Chewing on the quill, he barely notices that Geralt’s posture has stiffened.
“Why do you say that?”
“What?” Still distracted with composing a melody for the words, Jaskier looks up at Geralt, whose expression now full of alert.
“What never changes?”
“Um…Just you?” Jaskier stammers, “Stingy on the details, as usual.”
“It’s not just today.” Geralt scowls and stands, pacing around camp irritated. “You talk as if… as if you know me a great deal, Jaskier. You look at me as if you see an old friend. You were familiar with me from the very first day. You didn’t run away in fear like so many others.”
Oh well, subtlety is not exactly Jaskier’s forte.
“You know me,” He tries to gloss it over. “the ever so friendly bard.”
Geralt considers him skeptically. Under the intense scrutiny, Jaskier swallows a lump in his throat. The Witcher finally relents.
“Whatever you see in me, bard,” Geralt lets out a resigned sigh, “it’s not there. So stop looking.”
It’s too late for that, Jaskier thinks. Or too early.
  “I mean, why can’t I just tell you everything?”
Geralt walks beside Jaskier, his hair in a simple pony. A long scar runs down his left eye, barely missing it.
That one’s new.
It’s so jarring that Jaskier cannot stop staring at it from time to time. Added with the well-trimmed beard, framing his rugged face, Jaskier is almost looking at someone else. Witchers don’t age like the rest of them do, but the years are clearly showing on Geralt’s face, giving him more gravitas. The White Wolf, indeed.
He has a slight limp in one of his legs, also something new. The breastplate of his armour is worn and beat after what looks like decades of use.
A strange sight. Jaskier has only witnessed the man’s younger counterpart buy the same plate a week ago at a market in Cidaris, brand new and shiny. It was right before Jaskier decided to stay and perform at the local court and Geralt traveled on by himself.
The small garden behind the main hall is where he has found the older Witcher, who embraced Jaskier immediately without a beat. It is when Jaskier breathes in the familiar pine and leather that he realizes how much he’s missed his old friend, even though he’s been traveling with the same person for the past year.
Keeping the secret has taken a toll on Jaskier, as he only notices now that he is completely relaxed. He desperately wishes to unload it.
“You are going to know anyway. When you inevitably end up in Lettenhove, pimpled teenage me in front of you.”
“Jask,” The endearment comes out of the older Witcher so naturally, his voice deep and rich as wine. “You have seen me in my younger days. I was quite…let’s say, untrusting. I was determined to be alone. Telling me that destiny has bound me to a bard with no self-preservation instincts would only send me running away screaming.”
Jaskier teases, “Now that’s something I’d like to see. The mighty Witcher running and screaming because of a bard.”
“Hmm,” Geralt smiles in return, “There are things that we have to experience for ourselves. Just wait a bit longer. I’m unlikely to be pulled away when we are together. It’ll have to be when we part ways. As I said, it’s like a homing beacon.”
An anchor.
“And now, you are only here when Geralt is gone. I mean, you. The younger you.” Jaskier muses, “Destiny has a way of keeping you from running into yourself. Hah! Probably a good idea. Imagine the brooding doubled.”
Geralt stays oddly silent and guides them both to sit on one of the benches, his knee stiff and slow to bend. It slipped Jaskier’s notice that now there is a sheen of sweat on Geralt’s forehead, his brows furrowing in pain. He starts rubbing at the knee with a wince, breathing through the discomfort. His right elbow also creaks like an old ship, followed by a pained gasp.
With the fast healing, it must be a particularly bad injury for it to affect Geralt this much. Jaskier rubs his hands together to warm them up and places them on the Witcher’s elbow, slowly massaging it to ease out the tension. He’s quite unsure of his touches but judging from Geralt’s gradually relaxing posture, it is working nonetheless.
“What kind of beast hurt you like this? Can I warn you when the day comes?” Jaskier’s worry clenches in his chest. After a moment, Geralt places his larger hand on top of Jaskier’s, an unvoiced thanks. So Jaskier lets go.
They are sitting too closely together. Jaskier can see the tiny scars on Geralt’s face, thin lines that disappear into the thick beard. Leather and pine, the most reassuring scents in the world, overwhelm his senses and draw him closer.
“I wish we could take away all the hurt that will happen.” Geralt says with regret, “But no, Jask, I’d rather not. Some things need to happen for us both to be here today. Not to mentions many others.”
“I can just warn you about this one thing.”
Geralt’s gaze meets Jaskier’s, the long scar prominent. “Some things are too important to risk. I now have people who are dear to me. They – they’ve all come a long way. I wouldn’t change it for the world if it means they are safe. Even if I have to go through this.” He rubs at his knee again.
The wight behind the words settles in Jaskier’s chest.
The Geralt he has been traveling with is so determined on isolation and detachment, rejecting even simple friendship. He cares, in his own silent, brooding way. Jaskier sees it when he refuses payment from people who are struggling to make ends meet. He sees it when he buys Jaskier new boots when a pair has worn out. And He sees it when Roach’s coat is always kept pristine when the Witcher cannot afford new clothing for himself.
But the man in front of Jaskier speaks of people in his life with love and openness, all his rough edges softened and smoothed. Whatever happened in the years in between, Jaskier is eager to learn.
“You are a self-sacrificing idiot as usual.” He jokes.
The adoration in Jaskier’s heart unfurls into something more, something he does not dare to name. The same something, he realizes, is the gravity behind Geralt’s golden eyes that he’s been unable to name.
  Jaskier is twenty-four when Geralt finds out.
He has just spent a winter at Oxenfurt after being offered a teaching post while Geralt returned to Kaer Morhen as usual. The job is exciting and the students cannot be more pleasant. Adding the occasional visits from Essi and Shani, Jaskier doesn’t have many complaints.
And if he lingers too long in the greenhouse, standing wishfully for something to happen, that’s no one else’s business.
Usually Jaskier waits until the ground begins to thaw before departing for Kaedwen, where he will continue to roam and perform in major cities and possibly run into Geralt. Their shared journeys are never planned and they never agreed upon any meeting places, but somehow the bard can always find the Witcher in the springtime, so that they may resume their on-and-off travels.
This spring, however, an unexpected cold spell hits Oxenfurt after buds have sprouted from bald branches. A blanket of snow covers the cobblestone streets overnight, driving students and staff alike indoors with sniffles and shudders.
Jaskier is intending to retreat into his bedroom with a cup of steaming ginger tea, when he hears of two professors talking about the famous White Wolf being stopped at the city gate. Perplexed, he puts on a heavy coat and walks across town, blowing at his frozen fingers to desperately warm them up.
Geralt never seeks him out when the season turns, despite Jaskier’s attempt at hinting at his wintering plans multiple times every fall. If the Witcher is here this early in the spring, he must have left the Blue Mountains when the howling wind of winter was still raging. Traveling across the continent in the cold cannot be easy even for the Witcher, especially when contracts are still scarce.
Jaskier’s boots crunch the snow beneath them, his vision filled with the clear, grey sky and snowflakes scatted in the air. Outside the city gate, a tall, cloaked figure is being told off by a guard. A chestnut mare waits loyally in the distance.
Geralt is right there, snowflakes peppering his dark cloak. His complexion is sour as ever.
Gods, Jaskier has missed him.
“Geralt! What brings you here?” Jaskier shouts to get his attention and jogs on the slippery road to embrace the Witcher. The hug is brief and impersonal, and when he steps back the misery is still present.
“Aren’t you happy to see your best friend? After all, you’re the one who traveled in this sodding weather just to see me.”
Jaskier expects a rebuttal of the claim ‘best friend’, but it never comes. The Witcher’s comprehension is mixed with travel-weary, souring him even further.
“I have something of great importance to discuss with you, Jaskier.” Geralt gestures to the guard. “But this man won’t let me into the city.”
Jaskier turns to the guard and explains that the Witcher is an esteemed guest of the university, before they are both let in with Roach in tow.
The walk to Jaskier’s lodging is silent with a tension in the air. The Witcher looks tired, disheveled from the wind and cold. Jaskier will warm them both up with a fire and ginger tea then.
“So,” Jaskier tries to make conversation, “Before we discuss the thing of ‘great importance’, how was Kaer Morhen? You know, the mythical Witcher keep nobody knows anything about.”
“It was…fine.”
“Masterful conversationalist as ever.” Jaskier takes in the curt response and fills the silence with stories of his winter at the university. He chuckles at the funny bits himself when Geralt seems deep in thoughts the entire time.
Once they have put Roach in the university’s stable and entered Jaskier’s warm bedroom, the tension can be cut by a knife. An inexplicable nervousness bobbles up in Jaskier’s throat as Geralt puts down his pack by the door and begins to speak.
“Jaskier –”
“Before you say anything,” he interrupts, pulling out a bottle of wine and two glasses. It seems that ginger tea might not be enough to get him through this conversation. “We should warm up a little. Can you believe the weather!”
He puts one glass on the table near Geralt and downs the other in one go.
“Jaskier,” Geralt reasserts himself, the golden eyes determined. “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve met me before?”
Jaskier studies his glass as if it is the most interesting thing in the world. The Witcher continues.
“There was a lake, in the woods. You were young, and you…you greeted me by name. You knew me.” Geralt’s brows scrunch up in confusion. “You knew me before we met.”
“Um…yes?” Jaskier grimaces.
“Why haven’t you told me before? Damn it, Jaskier. You knew this whole time that I –”
“That you can magically time travel to my childhood?” Jaskier puts down his empty glass next to Geralt’s untouched one. “What was I supposed to say back then, Geralt? ‘Hello, you don’t know me but I know everything about you. And that includes your secret power because I’ve met you twenty times before –’”
“Twenty times?”
“Well I haven’t counted in a while so I could be off.”
Geralt sighs, palming his face. They both look away. The weighted silence in the room is only interrupted by the occasional crackling in the fireplace.
“Twenty times.” Geralt mutters to himself. “How – why?”
Jaskier tries, “You told me yourself. Your powers have this…pull. It’s like –”
“Gravity.”
“It pulls you to certain places or certain people.” Jaskier vaguely gestures around himself.
Realization dawns on Geralt’s face.
“That’s why you followed me. That’s why you weren’t scared of me, why you look at me…” He trails off. “Because destiny already forced me into your life.”
Geralt’s features morph into a stoic resignation, something Jaskier is too familiar with. It’s what Geralt looks like when someone chases him out of an inn or throws things at him, or when mothers yell at their children to get away from him.
No. Jaskier won’t allow it now.
“No,” His voice is desperate, “It was because you were my best friend. You are my best friend. You were there for me by the lake when no one else was. I followed you because you are kind and brave –”
“Because destiny already decided for you.”
“No –”
“Gods, Jaskier. You were so young. You shouldn’t be bound to me by something I cannot even control.”
Jaskier takes in a shuddering breath. “It’s too late for that.”
He doesn’t know how to convince Geralt, who looks so guilty through Jaskier’s blurred vision. He feels weak and hollow.
The conversation continues but Jaskier pays no attention. Geralt says something about traveling separately for a while and begins to leave. Golden eyes meet Jaskier one last time before the door clicks shut.
Running away while screaming indeed.
Sagging into a chair, Jaskier remembers the worn-out notebook sitting on the shelf, untouched.
Once again, Jaskier is left alone, his best friend disappearing right in front of his eyes.
  Jaskier tries to find Geralt but always falls a step behind.
He travels and plays, pleasing tavern audiences so he may get a place to sleep. He asks about the white-haired Witcher everywhere he goes, hoping he can catch up with him just like so many other times. But the Witcher is gone whenever Jaskier sets foot into a town, as if sensing his presence.
“Isn’t that your Witcher? The one from your songs?”
Jaskier tries not to wince.
“He was here days ago, but I heard he left for Novigrad.” The innkeeper says in confusion, “Why aren’t you with him?”
Putting on a bright smile, Jaskier answers, “Even the most talented artist cannot stay with his muse at all times. Lest the creativity runs dry too soon.”
He sets out for Novigrad, but never reaches it.
Jaskier does not see the bandits coming, nor is he capable of fending off all five of them. The dagger he hides in his boot and the sword fighting lessons that tutors once forced upon him can only do so much against these fully armed men.
After stabbing one of them in the shoulder, causing the man to yell and cuss, Jaskier is knocked out from behind.
Jaskier wakes up flung across the back of a dark horse. The pain at the back of his head throbs with every step it takes, the moving ground makes bile rise in his throat. The men talk about ransom from the Count de Lettenhove for his only son.
Oh, dear.
There is no way to tell how they learned, since Jaskier is gagged and tied to a tree when they set camp. He doubts his kidnappers are willing to indulge his curiosity anyway. A growl comes from his stomach. The fire and roasted dinner warm in the distance but clearly these men are not the sharing type.
Frustrated, Jaskier dozes off as night falls, listening to their constant chatter about how to spend the ransom. Too bad for them, Jaskier thinks half-asleep, they are not getting any money. Father will probably thank them for stopping the family embarrassment from tarnishing the Pankratz name any further.
Jaskier wakes up again, to the sound of yelling and weapons clash.
Bodies are flung across the campsite; his captors scream in pain and scatter. The startles horses gallop away with some of them on top. A flash of black and silver moves with an elegance that can inspire songs after songs.
A hand comes to remove the gag in Jaskier’s mouth and continues to undo the ropes around his wrists. Concern sparks in the gold, the softness overlapping with Jaskier’s distant memories. He should greet an old friend, or it’ll seem rude –
“Julian,” Geralt says, “That’s a terrible name for you.”
Jaskier blinks. Now Geralt is reaching to untie the knot behind Jaskier, their breaths only inches away. No scar. These are the same eyes that left him in Oxenfurt months ago, with the click of a door.
Not an old friend, then.
“That’s why I changed it.” The rope burns on Jaskier’s wrists sting when he tries to flex them. He states the obvious, “I see my Witcher in shining armor has come back to save me, again.”
“It’s like you are looking for trouble, bard.”
“Not like it was my fault.” Well, only a little bit his fault.
“Hmm.”
“I was looking for you.”
“I know.”
Of course, he was avoiding Jaskier on purpose.
“Why did you have a change of heart then? Missed my charming personalities?” Jaskier intends a joke, but the old name reminds him. “Wait. You were at the lake again?”
Geralt hums as Jaskier gets up to rummage through what his kidnappers left. Thank the gods they thought his lute and bags might be worth something and didn’t chuck them in a ditch.
Neither the lute case nor the instrument inside received much damage, to Jaskier’s relief. He should check for his bags as well –
“You kept asking when I would be back.”
Jaskier pauses. “And you couldn’t answer.”
“You asked me not to leave. You cried.”
Yes, he desperately grasped for any semblance of certainty as a child, and when he couldn’t get it young Julian spiraled into a panic, begging the Witcher not to leave. He remembers trying to hold back the tears but it came out with snot and hiccups. The embarrassment is still fresh after a decade.
“Well, there’s no need to remind me.”
“No, I –” Geralt struggles with words, “You said you kept records for me. I don’t want to disappoint you again, if I go back there. When I go back.”
The leather-bound notebook is still sitting at the bottom of Jaskier’s bag. He can feel the shape of it through the fabric. It is what Geralt came back for, just so he can have an answer for that child, so he will not disappoint him next time.
“That’s sweet.”
“Jaskier. I would never choose to entangle your life with mine, a Witcher’s. It’s –” Geralt breathes, “You were so young.”
So he said, months ago. Jaskier digs into the bag and retrieves the notebook, walks up to Geralt, and presses it on his chest. Geralt catches it, his gaze never leaving Jaskier’s.
“I wrote down the dates after each of your visits. All you need should be in there.” Jaskier suddenly notices how tired and hungry he is, the headache flaring up once he’s upright. He sways as a clink of metal hits the ground and Geralt’s strong hand steadies him at the elbow. “Oh, thanks.”
Geralt only hums, but his amber eyes keep studying Jaskier.
“You said you didn’t want me bound to your life.” Jaskier tries again, “But Geralt, you were the best part of my childhood. You were the reason I could leave that wretched place. You were the only person who saw me when no one paid any attention. I – I cannot imagine my life if you weren’t in it, if you hadn’t shown up by that lake in Lettenhove. So please…don’t turn away from me.”
He’s begging again, just like ten years ago. He’s begging for the little boy waiting by the water. He’s begging for himself now. It doesn’t matter that it’s embarrassing because after a beat, Geralt nods.
“Okay.”
“What?”
“I said okay,” Geralt’s expression sags with softness. “I – You were so excited to see me. You asked about my hunts. And Jaskier, you were so unhappy in your own home, but my stories – There was a spark in your eyes when you listened to them.”
Jaskier’s breath hitches. He looks into the sunlight gold boring into his with warmth.
“Does that mean you’ll stop running from me?”
“I would never want to snuff it out. That spark.” Geralt sounds apologetic, “I see now that you decided this life by yourself. Travelling and adventures. They suit you well, Jaskier. So yeah.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Because there is a boy in Lettenhove, and he really, really looks forward to seeing you. In fact, he is counting the days right now, for your next return.”
Geralt chuckles, “That’s not how this works.”
“You know what I mean.”
Jaskier grins in return, patting the Witcher on the arm. Geralt looks at the notebook in his hand and says solemnly, “I won’t disappoint him again.”
  The door of their shared inn room creaks open and it sounds like a bag of coin is dropped on the table.
“Ah. I see you collected payment for the Griffin.” Jaskier looks up from the music sheets spread out on the bed.
“I was at the lake with you.”
Jaskier feels a big grin spread across his face.
“You made me tell you about the hunt.” Geralt says.
“Yes, I remember. And I composed my very first Witcher song two days later. Well, only in my head and it lacked a bit polish, but you know, I was eleven.”
“Does that mean I’m spared now?”
“Yes, my dear. You may be spared of recounting your mighty battles for now. I still remember it quite vividly. Did you tell me you bit feathers off its wing and choked?”
“Fuck off, bard.”
Jaskier chuckles and gets back to his composing. It might be time to revisit an old song yet.
  “I was at the lake with you.”
“When?”
“Last month, when we were apart.”
“No, when for me?”
Geralt looks down at Jaskier, who is lying in the meadow of wildflowers next to the Witcher’s crossed legs, trying and failing to braid a flower crown of dandelions. The afternoon heat is relentless, drenching them both in sweat before they have to take a break.
Tall shrubs cast down a cool shade where they are sitting, shielding away the scorch. Roach is nibbling at some flowers in the distance, the same flowers that Jaskier cannot seem to bend into shape without crushing.
“You were…older.” Geralt says after considering, “You braided flowers into my hair.”
“Oh yeah. That day. Can I do it now?”
“You are not a child anymore.”
“No, but this is not working.” Jaskier throws away the dandelions that are now in pieces, pouting. He lies back on the grass, inhaling the fresh smell of grass and letting the breeze cool him down a little. Above him, Geralt looks refreshed after a short meditation.
“You were getting restless. In your own home, about your own future. You kept asking me if you were going to leave Lettenhove.”
“And you distracted me by letting me braid your hair. I totally forgot about pestering you for the rest of the day.”
“It worked.”
“Hmm.” Jaskier is almost impressed.
Geralt pauses for a moment. “You were so unhappy, Jaskier. You couldn’t see a future for yourself.”
“Well, that’s why I left. It’s all fine now. I’m living my best life with my favorite time traveler. Don’t worry, dear.” With his forearm placed on his eyes, Jaskier is completely relaxed.
“Should I have told you, just so you had an idea?”
Sometimes Jaskier still thinks about his childhood in Lettenhove, how miserable he was under all the expectations that he was never going to meet. No, he couldn’t see a future for himself as the Viscount, neither did his father, as the falling of canes and sticks proved. Sometimes Jaskier still wakes up from nightmares rehashing those beatings.
Would it have been better if his younger self had known what the future had in store?
“No,” He says, “Don’t tell me anything. What I went through put me here. It made me what I am. Telling me the future might change things, and I would never take that risk.”
“Hmm.” Geralt sounds apprehensive. “I’ll have to keep you in the dark.”
Sitting up, Jaskier places a hand on Geralt’s knee, the one that’s going to retain an injury that doesn’t heal well, the one that’s going to creak and spasm on a rainy day. Geralt from the future is willing to endure the hurt just to make sure everything goes right, young Julian will have to as well.
“I wish there’s another way. Believe me, I do. But…it’s too much at risk.” He squeezes, hoping it’s reassuring. “I know you don’t like this, Geralt. But time is too tricky, you can’t tell me anything about my future. That’s the rule.”
“Says who?”
“Says me.”
“It might be the first rule anyone’s had about time travels.”
“Right,” Jaskier smiles tightly, “The very first one.”
They go back to cooling off in a companionable silence before moving on again. Geralt rides on Roach’s back while Jaskier strums his lute on the ground, playing a song in Elder absent-mindedly.
For what it is worth, Jaskier’s past is already too well tangled with this beautiful Witcher in front of him. There is no changing his fate now.
A comforting weight unfurls in his heart whenever Geralt is near, regardless of which version of him it is. It unfurls even further with each step they take together over the years. In the blazing afternoon sun, it blooms into something else.
Oh.
He loves him.
He loves him with all he is, was, and ever will be.
No matter. Their days ahead will be just as entwined as the past.
Jaskier strums his lute again, the song turns into something bawdy. The amber looks back at him with mirth and a mirrored smile.
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Ive never really understood the hype surrounding Taylor Swift - I mean, I like some of her songs, but im not big on modern pop music so generally she just doesn’t really click for me. But I find it interesting that theres quite a few of Beatles/Swift blogs - like, they should have very little in common given that they’re from completely different eras and all, but somehow people seem to find a lot of semblance between the two. << and thats not me shitting on any of these blogs btw! Hope I don’t come off as rude or condescending there <3
Anyway, I was just wondering what got you into Taylor Swift? (I think ive read your post on how you got into the Beatles)
Hi, anon! Don't worry, I don't think you're rude or condescending! I agree they don't have too much in common and I don't really like their music for the same reasons.* I do have a playlist of Paul songs that have similar vibes to Taylor songs but it's mostly lyric-based. (Also the Beatles For Sale songs actually have quite the Taylor-tinge because Paul and John were not immune to Country Music)
I saw @stewy say once that a possible reason there are a good handful of us Swiftie-Beatle People on here is the appeal of a vast discography, which I agree with. If you have an artist/group with 200ish songs, it's just really fun to really dive into their work and explore all the facets. I also think: we're talking about the most popular band of all time and one of the highest-selling artists of the 21st century. They have a lot of fans so there's bound to be overlap, regardless of musical differences.
Moving on to your question: Getting into Taylor was an extremely personal experience for me and so my explanation is probably going to be kind of long so I'll put it under a read more.
It was spring-summer 2014, I was 15. I had heard the more popular songs of hers starting with Love Story and enjoyed pretty much all of them (I always found her hopelessly romantic point of view fascinating) but before I got a Spotify account in 2013 it was difficult in general for me to really get into an artists' entire discography so most of her songs had flown under my radar.
At the time, I was in this very weird sort of codependent online friendship with this girl who was basically my first real best friend and my first more or less crush. She was very depressed and I was very much in an I Could Fix Her™ mood, except that I obviously couldn't fix her and it made me feel like I wasn't enough and she had begun pulling more and more away from me and not replying to my messages and it was simply driving me insane. I consider it the saddest period in my life.
at some point during this period, I started trying to connect with other people (all online, I didn't know how to talk seriously to anyone IRL) and explaining the issues I'd been having, and one of the people who brought me joy and whom I actually felt not drained talking to was a huge swiftie. And IDK the fact that she loved Taylor and the fact that talking to her made my life better (and also the fact that I liked all the Taylor songs I knew at that point) just made me decide to give her a listen. And I think that whole "large discography discovery" phenomenon really helped me at the time (funny, because her discography has doubled since then). It gave me something new to focus on; there were just so many songs to discover, all telling such rich stories. I also have always loved bridges, they are almost always my favourite part of a song. And Taylor, god-bless her, loves them too and always puts her ALL in them. Like pretty much every bridge of hers brings the song to the next level, and even a lot of her songs I don't adore tend to have great bridges (Stay Stay Stay and Paper Rings come to mind). I think one of her most underrated qualities is how good she is at song structure and really building up an entire musical journey with a song. She also almost always adds cool ad-libs in her second and third choruses to keep the songs interesting and dynamic (or at least since she's gone pop). Anyways, back to the story: Then Taylor announced 1989 as her next album and released Shake It Off, and it was just like this great happy thing for me to look forward to, when I had very little keeping me going. The era was promoting a lot of happiness which in hindsight was slightly fabricated and it was just a really great thing for me to latch onto.
At the same time I was coming to realize that I was gonna have to pull away completely from my friend and all those break-up songs just… Hit, y'know? Like, some people seem to think Taylor's a one-trick pony because she likes to write break-up songs but to me, break-ups are just like this moment where you as a human can potentially feel every single emotion, and Taylor's songs have covered every facet of the concept. Here are some songs I remember from that period, that all meant a lot to me at the time because they explained my own pain to me so well:
Haunted, for the absolute terror you feel in the first moments you realize someone is probably gonna leave you. Come on, come on / Don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted.
I Almost Do, for the inner turmoil you feel when you know you have to stay away from someone for your own good but you really, really have to resist just running back to that person. We've made quite a mess, Babe / It's probably better off this way / And I confess, Babe / In my dreams you're touching my face / And asking me if I wanna try again / With you / And I almost do.
Last Kiss, for that absolute sadness that comes simply with remembering everything that was good and not comprehending how it could've possibly ended. I still remember / The look on your face / Lit through the darkness / At 1:58 / Words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go / Away?
Forever and Always, for that feeling of desperately wanting to hold on to what you still have but at the same time realizing it probably isn't going to last and having no idea how to fix it, plus feeling like the other person doesn't even care. So here's to everything / Coming down to nothing / Here's to silence / That cuts me to the core / Where is this going? / Thought I knew for a minute / But I don't anymore.
Dear John, my all-time favourite song, for that moment you find clarity and realize that you deserved better and that you were headed in an extremely dark direction because of this other person. [DISCLAIMER: my friend did NOT abuse me nor did we have some inappropriate age difference. But the way she would ignore me and her general moodiness really affected my own mental health and self-worth problems] You paint me a blue sky / And go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess games / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone / Tonight / Well I stopped picking up / And this song is to let you know why.
(She's covered more aspects of break-ups in other songs [cheating, divorce, feeling awkward around your ex amongst others], these are just the ones I remember being really important to me when I was first getting into her)
She really helped me feel a lot less alone during one of my loneliest periods and I really can't thank her enough for that. Soon after this, I started crushing on a girl in my class and Taylor's love songs started to take on a new meaning for me as well.
What's crazy to me is, when she went on hiatus for a few years, a part of me thought maybe I'd grown out of her and no longer had much in common with her, but when reputation came out I was pulled right back into my love for her as a person and musician and then when Lover came out I found that she was still explaining feelings to me better than I ever could (specifically with the songs The Archer and Cornelia Street). And now with folklore and evermore she's simply absolutely perfected her story-telling and I find myself deeply moved even by the songs I don't directly relate to. I feel like she has this amazing ability to find the absolute truth in the specific. I've never had a summer romance with someone who already had a girlfriend and mostly wanted to go back to her, and yet the bridge of august feels so real to me, y'know?
Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose
It's hard to explain but looking at this, like it's so much more than the story it's telling. It's talking about how when you're young you really need so little to feel satisfied; how sometimes the idea of someone maybe spending time with you is better than actually doing things with other people; and how if someone using you without much thought can make you feel like you're not even entitled to grieve what you lost. Sorry. I'll stop. Don't want to go insane.
So, all of this is very personal and unique to me, but I think really the main thing that draws me to her is how vulnerable and honest she is about emotions, how eloquently she can explain the pain of being alive to me. Some people think she isn't the strongest singer, but I think, much like John actually, one of her greatest assets is how good she is at projecting emotion. The song happiness is a song I think has some lyrically weak moments but her vocal performance on it is so raw and devastating that every single line works even when, looking at it on paper, it feels like it shouldn't.
Hope this rambling made sense to you, lmao?? I love talking about Taylor though so thanks for the ask! Also very open to giving song recs if you do want to check her out more but I won't unless solicited to lmao *Sort of off-topic but I do think there's a relation between my fascination with the Beatles' history and my love for a great break-up song. I like pain I guess :)
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rwbyremnants · 3 years
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CHAPTER WARNINGS: Hard convos and fluff (and awkward almost-incesty feelings)
Getting pretty close to the end! Also I started writing a new project - I know I know, I'm not even done posting this and Princess And The Dragons! Believe me there's just a ton of fics I could keep posting for all eternity, but they're all a complete mess (except the 2 I'm working on posting now). I might hit the fuck it point and post a few of them without doing any editing or rereading to make sure they make any sense. Yay for all that information nobody asked for!
=Chapter 10
A few months passed. Ruby had no further contact with Winter after she drove away from her, apart from one message she asked Penny to send, establishing that she no longer wanted to continue their arrangement. No more sessions, no more visits to the club, nothing. Even the casual texts had stopped, or the occasional silly snaps back and forth of each other's day; it was like they had never met. Strangers.
Then came an occasion she was dreading. There were other family gatherings she had managed to bow out of – anything to avoid awkward contact again out of fear of embarrassing herself; but this wasn't one she could squirm her way out of so easily. Weiss's birthday. She would never want to avoid her idol's celebration, especially not when she was specially invited! Dodging that one would also raise suspicion, and make it far more obvious that she was avoiding something to the other guests.
Plus, she didn't want to hurt her any more than she already had. Her guilt was too heavy. Time to bite the bullet and say hello.
All she could do was mentally prepare while she was out shopping with Yang, looking for an ideal present with her wife. She had promised that she would look after whatever she bought so Weiss didn't find it; at least that was a promise she could keep without anyone getting hurt.
"Hey, how about a cute little pony?"
When Ruby looked over, she saw Yang was holding up some kind of rainbow-painted porcelain horse tchotchke. She practically welcomed the distraction, no matter how mundane. Raising an eyebrow, she laughed, "Oh God, are you gonna turn her into one of those kooky nerds who has a billion of those?"
"Well… no…" Putting it back, Yang sighed and looked around. "But I'm totally drawing a blank this year. You know she's the one who's good at picking out gifts, and I just… suck ass."
Still trying to distract herself, Ruby smirked back toward her, walking a couple of steps backward to keep their pace in the store. "She told me enough times she liked what you got her last year. You know… the 'banana'?" If she wasn't going to be able to distract herself with small goods, she could by embarrassing her favourite sister. "She tells me everything when she gets drunk, unfortunately."
Ducking her blonde head, her big sister groaned and muttered, "God, Weiss… why can't you handle your booze?" She cleared her throat and spoke up to say, "But I don't wanna get her another 'toy' this time. I want it to be something sweet. Y'know, romantic and shit."
"Oooh…" That didn't give Ruby all too much to work with. While Yang and Weiss were definitely happy together, even she knew romance wasn't Yang's strong point. Aside from throwing herself in the path of an explosion that time a few years ago, the closest she had gotten was buying flowers on one occasion; only to get rid of them when they discovered Weiss was allergic. That was a story she wouldn't let her live down.
"Well, what kinds of things has she been into lately? Anything she mentions in passing or something?"
"Um… music? Frilly dresses and expensive perfume? Marrying the worst girlfriend in the world?" Sighing, she leaned back against a shelving unit full of lawn gnomes and hung her head. "I'll just get her another Victoria's Secret gift card."
"Doesn't that kinda count as a present for yourself? Just saying…" But Yang's phrasing didn't sit well in Ruby's own mind. Sure, she didn't know what sorts of presents were romantic and usually ended up with a cop-out gift, but at least she wasn't hurting anyone in the process of that. The worst girlfriend award for sure went to Ruby Rose. "And we both know she has the better of the Xiao Long-Rose sisters, so don't say you're the worst, dork."
"Does not! You're the real prize, and Penny is so lucky! Geeze, if you weren't with her, I'd be beating guys and girls off you with a stick!"
Even if it was meant positively, Ruby wasn't particularly in the mood to play along. Instead, she shrugged her shoulders reluctantly as she wandered out of the store, walking aimlessly in the direction of a jeweller’s. "Nah, I'm lucky to even have Penny. Don't even know how she puts up with me sometimes."
After a moment, Yang followed. She took so long to respond that by then, Ruby assumed she had forgotten the topic. Then…
"Okay, spill. What's been up with you the past couple months?"
"H-huh?" Even if it was a question she should have expected, she was taken aback, instantly finding herself on the defensive. "N-nothing! I was just saying that Penny's good for putting up with me, that's all!"
"Yeah, but you and Penny never fight. She hasn't seemed unhappy being with you or anything like that, at all." Folding her arms over her ample chest, she demanded, "So what's up, Rubes? Spill – unless you want me to tickle it out of you."
No getting out of that not-so-idle threat, no matter how much she tried. And even if Yang didn’t tickle her, she would be like a dog with a bone. Sighing, she looked downward sadly, still idly pacing around in the hope either of them would see something of interest for Weiss.
"It's not Penny and me that have had issues. We're fine. Our relationship's been pretty solid for a while…" When she stopped in front of the bracelets, she debated where to begin, whether or not to tell the story. In the end… "But… I’m, uh…"
Sensing this was big, Yang slid an arm around Ruby's shoulders. "You can tell me anything. If you could handle me coming out and transitioning, I can handle whatever's bugging you."
In the end, that tilted the scales. Yang deserved to know, since she had always been so open with her. At the same time, she didn't need to know who it was. The thought of that conversation coming to light certainly wasn't a good one given Yang's past with Winter.
"You know Penny and I don't… y'know, that often. So, um, Penny let me go out and see someone else, purely for sex. It worked out so great at first, me and this other girl had an amazing connection… but I had to go and ruin it."
For a moment, all Yang could do was blink in surprise. "Whoa, really? Never thought of you as a 'side chick' kinda girl." She hastily added, "But that's cool! I mean, if you have needs and Penny's okay with it, why the hell not?"
"Yeah, heh… I guess." Scratching the back of her head nervously, she couldn't look Yang in the eye anymore. The situation was too sensitive. "But it got deeper than that. Penny and I talked about it as well, and… and we realised that I was falling for this other girl the same way as Penny. Which she felt, too. But then… then I said some really stupid stuff and made a huge mess."
"Falling for both of them?" But of course, Yang had mostly been saying that to confirm it to herself. Blinking a few more times, she then asked, "What kinda stuff? Like, maybe it wasn't as bad as you thought."
"L-like…" There was the awkward part; she didn't know how to word what was happening without possibly outing either Winter or Qrow. Sighing in frustration, she looked back up. "Okay imagine if, I mean just imagine here – you're about to confess your feelings to Weiss for the first time, but then when you're just about to, you find out she's been sleeping with… with Dad or someone as close as that. Y-you'd be shocked, right? Shocked enough to really hurt her feelings on accident?"
For a long moment, Yang just tried to process the very idea being put across to her. Then she burst out, "Dad's been banging your side-chick?!"
"No!!!" Quickly slapping a hand to her forehead, she groaned out in frustration; one that had a couple of people turning to look at them. "I said 'someone as close as', not Dad himself! But that's not the point, anyway!" Looking around some more of the various watches and charm bracelets, Ruby sighed again. "I was yelling at her how if she cared she would have told me, because that was happening before I started hooking up with her, and during. And like, she knew this person was close to me! And I ended up… ended up learning I'd hurt her on other occasions without meaning to. Bad."
This time, Yang took even longer to respond. They both went back to looking over the things in the displays, picking them up and putting them down. Neither really paying much attention to what they were seeing.
"This, um…" Yang held up a tennis bracelet with a musical note dangling from it. "Is this dumb? I… think she could like it, but I, um…"
Again, Ruby welcomed the distraction. As much as she needed advice for what to do next, she much preferred to ignore the subject and keep burying her head in the sand. "That is super cute, actually. Maybe you can get another little snowflake charm for it too?"
"Ooh, that's a good idea… let me know if you find anything like that. Or maybe a star, because…" Her voice got quieter as she added, "She's my star."
Despite Yang having meant it genuinely, Ruby only saw her usual attitude of pun making and groaned again. "That was sooooo bad, international superstar. But stars and snowflakes, got it."
"Y-yeah," Yang replied with a feigned laugh. Clearly she had thought that was really romantic and it fell flat.
They both dug through the display for a little while longer, and Yang did eventually find a snowflake. Ruby was still hunting for a star when she walked back over. Clearly her mind was preoccupied.
"Um… hey Ruby?"
"Hmm?" Noticing that Yang had found what she wanted, she turned back to the display a moment to look longer. "Still can't find a star… Do you mind if it's a typical one? Or do you want a more… what? Something wrong?"
"The typical one is fine, we dug through most of 'em." Then she cleared her throat and tried to sound unconcerned as she asked, "So, were you, uh, maybe, kinda… sleeping with Blake?"
That'd made Ruby drop the small charm she had picked up, which bounced and rolled under one of the displays before she could catch it. At least it was one of the cheapest ones. "Oh, shoot! Noooo!"
“Those things are dime a dozen. C’mon, I asked you a serious question.”
She looked back around to her sister reluctantly. "No, not Blake. I mean, she said she thinks I'm cute before, but also said she would never want to because of your past. Kinda... crossing the streams, or whatever."
"Okay," she sighed in relief. "Whew! Just… you know, I noticed you guys were kinda hanging out sometimes, and… like, I never for sure thought you were, but that’s the only obvious guess I have."
Breathing with relief, Ruby laughed nervously with her. "T-that's fine! Nah, she and Sun seem to be exclusive to each other, from what I know, at least."
Under her breath, Yang muttered, "She's said that one before…" Then she cleared her throat and said, "Okay, Ruby. Whatever went on between you and whoever… it sounds like you were going past just bumping uglies and into really caring about each other. Weren't you?"
"H-hey, it wasn't like-!" But as much as she wanted to deny it, Yang was right; that was the simplest way to put it. Looking downward, she mumbled, "Yeah… we were."
"But… she's also doing stuff with someone really close to you, and it kinda gives you the 'this room is too crowded' vibe?" When Ruby didn't answer, she sighed and ran a hand through her bangs. "Whoo. That's rough."
"She’s also roommates with this person," Ruby added. It seemed like a major detail to leave in given the situation. Pacing to the other displays, she explained in more detail. "I'm not really mad about that anymore, I guess… I'm more mad that I hurt her. Not just by yelling at her about that, but that I left before talking it though. And that I hurt her before all this ugliness and didn't even know I did."
"God… and you were just gonna walk around with all this weighing you down?" Reaching over, she tousled Ruby's hair until it was a messy brown-and-red mop. It was one of the few things she had done when she was Ying that still lingered, even with how much she had changed before Ruby's eyes as they both grew up.
"Sis, I can only work with the facts I got. From where I'm standing… it sounds like this, um, person is worth it to you to go out on a limb for. I’ve been watching you moping around the past few months, and it's like… like something's missing inside you. And maybe your hookup isn't what you need, or maybe she- they are, and… I think you owe it to both of you to try. Just… I don't know, talk to ‘em again. Be chill and see where it goes."
"How?" she asked desperately with a little shrug. "How can I be 'chill' about it when I more or less said 'fuck you and what you've been through' to her face? Like… okay, it wasn't those exact words, sure; but the message was the same."
Though Yang did wince at the implication of saying something like that to someone, she gripped Ruby's shoulder. Unfortunately, due to her ignorance of the topic, her phrasing was less than ideal. "Hey, so you messed up in a… not small way. Sometimes to get what you want, you gotta eat a little crow."
Which was rather noticeable, given that she immediately shut her eyes tightly at the remark. "GOD I'd rather not hear 'Crow' and 'Eat' in the same sentence, you have no idea…"
But whether Ruby liked it or not, her sister was completely right. The problem wasn't going to be solved by hiding from each other; they needed to talk. To apologise, say their piece, and learn. Even if they ended up still avoiding each other after, the least they could do was try.
Apparently, Yang had been trying to talk to her all along, because she finally said, "Yooo, you in there, little Ruby? Big sis calling!" Then a fist was knocking on the top of her head, albeit lightly.
"GAH!" Flinching as soon as her head was touched, she nearly managed to knock the bracelet from Yang's hand! But right away she composed herself again, scratching her head. "S-sorry… I spaced. What were you saying?"
"I was saying that we should probably check out," Yang laughed easily, beaming her usual confident smile down at Ruby. "This bracelet's kinda lame, but it's literally the only idea I've had all day that doesn't make me wanna hurl myself into a volcano."
Ruby could only smile back, handing over the small star charm she had unearthed. "I actually think it's really cute, she'll love it."
But just after they'd finished checking out and re-entered the mall complex, Ruby was attempting to get some information of her own. She had been wanting to for a while, but didn't know how without raising suspicion. As naturally she could, she asked, "So… who's coming to the party? Me, Penny… who else?"
"Oh, well you know. Family people. Plus FNKI is supposed to be there, and Blake and Sun." Pointing, she asked, "Smoothies? My treat, for helping me out with this."
"Yeah, I guess smoothies wouldn’t break the bank," Ruby laughed, following her big sis. "Family people… so Dad, Jacques… Winter…?"
With a slow drawl, Yang answered, "Riiiight. That's who family is. Oh, I don't know if Uncle Qrow RSVP'd yet or not; he was invited. But Dad's gonna be there for sure." Then she looked suspiciously at Ruby. "Unless there's a problem with Dad being there…?"
"Why would I have a problem with Da-" But given the rather serious look, Ruby rolled her eyes. "Look, Dad was an example. This friend isn't actually sleeping with Dad. If she was, he would be living in the house with them, cause they are roommates with the person, remember? And no, it’s not Penny, and it’s really not me."
"Well yeah, I guess. Just double-checking, okay?" When Ruby still seemed irritated, she sighed and said, "Okay, I won't ask who's who again. I get it, this is sensitive. But… I do hope you get whatever's going on squared away. And promise me you won't sit on it until too much time went by, and now you feel like you can't speak up. Please?"
Eyebrows furrowing, Ruby looked up to her sister anxiously. She was genuinely worried about her… and had good reason to be, given what she had to deal with a few years ago; of course now that a somewhat similar situation presented itself, even if only affecting her sister, she would be on edge. But not wanting to let on how truly she was bothered by this, Ruby instead looked at the smoothie menu.
"Get me a banana and blueberry smoothie and it's a deal."
But all Yang groaned in response was, "Do you have to pick 'banana'? I'm already embarrassed enough about that as it is!"
----------------------------------------
"…but she’s been saying she wants to eat more organic, so I figured, buying some vegetable plant seeds could be an idea; something to do with little Fèn once she gets older, also. Not such a boring present, is it?"
Winter’s father had offered to drive her to her sister’s birthday party to both spare her sobriety and cab fare. He insisted strongly, despite her reluctance to be in his company. In recent days, that seemed to be worryingly common; for her to be alone or seem a little more uptight and serious than usual. Even if he had never mentioned it, her father certainly noticed.
And when noticing she still wasn't particularly listening on this occasion, he cleared his throat. "S-so… Amber couldn't come. She had something with her own family she couldn't miss, so you and Weiss will have to meet her properly another time."
"Hmm? Oh, yes… that's wonderful, Father." It was a stock answer. Winter would normally have offered up something a lot more in-depth and pointed, but it seemed she still wasn't up to the task.
In fact, she had spent most of the past months avoiding any time alone with her father. Not that he would know why. Not that they never talked, but their discussions had been fewer and further between ever since he told her about Amber. Poor Jacques. The only cause he could think of was the possibility that Winter didn't like his flowering relationship. And no wonder; no one would like to hear their parent had moved on, much less such details.
While they were at a red light, he looked around to her, asking, "You… aren't mad at me for dating again, are you?"
"What?" she asked, roused from her reverie. "No, not at all… oh, Father, I'm sorry. My mind is just elsewhere." Frowning over at him, she told him as earnestly as she could, "I didn't mean to make you think I disapprove of Amber."
There was a wave of relief, and right away he swept the sweat from his brow. "Phew! You had me worried there! Last thing I wanted to do was make you or Weiss feel uncomfortable." As the light turned green, his attention returned to the road, but he didn't drop the subject. "Then what is wrong, dear? You've seemed off for a long time now."
"Have I?" she asked, trying to sound as convincing as she could. She shifted in her seat, trying to find a more comfortable position. "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to worry you."
"Well, you have been a little," he admitted. "So, if it's not Amber… what is it? Is there something I should be concerned about? Have I done anything to upset you?"
"No, nothing," she answered immediately. There was no way she could ever tell him why she was so uncomfortable in his presence now - especially since it was getting easier to manage a little at a time. So she had to distract him, and she could only find one topic that would adequately excuse her standoffishness without making her poor father feel worse. "Just… I was beginning to think I might have found an 'Amber' of my own. But the relationship fell through before I could figure that part out."
"Oooohh… so, it's relationship trouble." While it was a better assumption than the whole truth, it was still awkward for old Jacques Schnee. He wasn't used to talking to his daughters in such circumstances until a couple of years ago, so the advice was always rusty. Still, he tried. "There's always more fish in the sea, even if you have to swim a little further out, I suppose. I know you get out more than I do, I'm sure you'll find a nice… girl, to settle down with someday."
Laughing weakly, Winter crossed her legs in the opposite direction, hoping against hope that it would abate her discomfort. No such luck. "Doubtful. I just don't feel that kind of connection with people. Not until…" Did she dare confirm? "Until she came along."
"I see… the one that got away, hmm?" Given the silence, that was also confirmed. While it wasn't as easy for him as it would be talking to a son about this sort of thing, he tried his best to treat her in the same way he would a son, and cleared his throat. "Girls are very mysterious. One minute you think you have them figured out, the next, you're back to square one. Or in your case, square zero. Of course, you know that, being a woman yourself." Scratching his head nervously, he tried to continue, "But what I'm saying is, don't bet all your money on one horse. If it's not meant to be, it won't happen. If it is, things will… well, they'll find a way to work."
"But I wasn't putting money on any horse," she sighed. "My feelings came as a complete surprise to me; I wasn't even looking! And then…" There had to be a way to discuss this without going into specifics. "We had an argument. About our relationship, and how we hadn't been entirely honest about our situations. It should have been something we could work through, but…"
"Ah, of course. Nobody likes complications." They weren't too far from the house, but rather than pull right up to the drive, he pulled the car over onto the shoulder a moment. "Listen, I'm not very good at this, you can tell; but it sounds like you both left everything up in the air rather than talking through the issue properly."
Winter could feel her anxiety rising. They were so close! She hadn't been mentally prepared to be alone with him for any longer than the drive there. But she also didn't want to squander this chance to have a non-superficial conversation with her father; they were so rare, and if she avoided this one she might not get another for a while. Or might even lead him to believe she hated him. That wouldn’t do.
"I wanted to try again. But she let me know we were done. That… she didn't want to see me anymore. She was so upset, I… how can I approach her if she hates me?"
Leaning back in his seat, Jacques sighed deeply, drumming his fingers against the top of the steering wheel as some form of distraction. "How indeed. Then again, your mother and I used to have our fair share of arguments before we got serious; sometimes, shit happens." It was unusual for her father to swear, even more so when he was calm. Still, it meant they were possibly getting somewhere. "Perhaps arrange to meet under more neutral circumstances?"
"Perhaps so." Her eyes flicked toward her sister’s house and the promise of safety, and she sighed. "We'll see. It feels so hopeless, but… I should at least apologise for my part of our misunderstanding. Then it would be up to her, right?"
"Exactly." He smiled toward her. "The ball will be in her court, as it were. If she wants to play, she will. If not… well, you can say you did everything you possibly could. It's disappointing if it does come to that, but in the end, it's far more satisfying to say you tried than to give up without trying."
Nodding glumly, she tried to let herself believe him. It was so hard! But she knew it was the truth; yes, Ruby was well within her right to end their arrangement, even without what went on with Qrow. Even so, that didn't mean she and her sister-in-law couldn't patch up their friendship, and discuss what went wrong like mature adults.
"You're right, of course. It's… I'll think about it. Thank you."
Nodding happily, he put his hands back on the wheel again to drive the last few seconds of the journey. Already, there were a few cars and bikes on the drive from the various guests. One of which included the small red car that Winter recognised so much: Ruby's.
Oblivious to that, Jacques was already taking off his seatbelt and opening the door. "In the meantime, just enjoy the party today. I'm sure Weiss will let you hold Fèn for longer than a couple of minutes this time!"
"Don't count on it," she laughed as they exited the car and began walking up towards the lakehouse. Despite their difficulties and Winter's private discomfort, she really did appreciate the talk more than she could say.
Once they got inside, they could see most of the guests had arrived. Yang and a few members of FNKI were loitering in the spacious entryway. One or two other children from Fenléng's daycare were toddling back and forth in the living room, their mothers likely nearby. Winter thought it was nice that she had a few little friends to play with.
"I'll be back in a bit, guys," Yang reassured both Flynt and Inu upon noticing the new guests. Suspecting they hadn't seen Weiss yet, she thought it best to greet the newcomers herself, managing to scoot past them to welcome her inlaws with open arms. "There you two are! Figured you got lost, again."
Jacques chuckled to himself, accepting a quick hug from her with a pat on the back. "That was just one time. Where is my other pride and joy, anyway?"
"Out in the garden with Ruby! I think they wanted to catch up a little bit before we gave Weiss her presents and stuff. You can head through, if you want?"
Raising a small bag and the box from Jacques, Winter said, "Where shall I put these?"
"Oh, I'll take 'em while we go through, it's on the way. Weiss's been waiting for you guys to turn up!"
With a brief wave goodbye to the two guests, Yang journeyed through the living room with both of Weiss’s relations following behind. She detoured to the kitchen with the two gifts, adding them to the pile, then leading Winter and Jacques to the rear conservatory doors. And there in plain sight were Ruby and Weiss, sat together on the bench.
The circumstances couldn't be any worse. Both Jacques and Weiss were completely unaware of the tension between Winter and Ruby. It gave no time for either of them to prepare mentally, especially not when Jacques was already walking outside toward them both, calling out to get their attention. "There she is! Twenty-two years young."
Turning, Weiss smirked at him as she said, "You got it right this year, Father. I'm impressed." Then her smile widened and she said, "Hey, sister of mine!"
"Happy birthday," Winter said, smiling gently. For the moment, she could forget about the girl sitting next to her sister. Ruby was definitely very important to her, but this wasn't her day, and it wasn't Winter's. "How does it feel to be another year wiser?"
"About the same," she laughed back with a little shrug. "Yang and I were just talking about that this morning; every year is just an encore, isn't it?"
"Once you're past twenty-one, it is pretty much the same,” Jacques chuckled. “Still, gives us an excuse to have a drink or two."
While he was making small talk with his daughter, Ruby continued to sit still with a drink in hand, staring toward the ground nervously. She knew Winter was there, but was far too scared to even make eye contact with her. Clearly, she had been just as cut up as Winter was in the first place. At least that was one small good sign; the pseudo-breakup wasn’t already an irrelevant event for the girl.
"So, how many others are on their way?" Winter asked, hands in the small of her back.
"Well, there's Blake and Sun," Weiss began to list off as she embraced sister. "Taiyang is on his way with Qrow. That might be everyone, right, honey?"
"Blake just messaged and said she's on the way," spoke up Yang from behind them, who had just finished putting the gifts away and was now coming to a stop by her wife’s side. "Aaaand Dad's on the way but a little held up because he went to get Penny from the airport. That’ll be a while, so… should we do presents?"
"You guys go ahead," Ruby said from her seat. At least now she raised her head a little, and looked outward to the large lake rather than at the floor like she was before. "I'm just gonna… chill here for a minute. Crazy week."
"Sorry to hear that," Winter said almost automatically. Then she cleared her throat and hastily turned to Weiss. "Are you ready for presents, or would you rather wait for Blake and Sun?"
"We can wait. In fact, now that I've stopped breastfeeding, I'm ready to have a drink. Can I get you something?"
Smiling demurely, she responded, "Oh, come on; this is your day. I can make drinks for both of us. What will everyone have?"
"Maybe Weiss already has the drinks I…" Though before she could finish that quip, Yang realised just who was in their company. They might well be on good terms, but an adult breastfeeding joke might be a bit too much for the subject’s father and sister to take. Winding back, she cleared her throat again. "Yeah, but I'll get them though, seriously. I know Weiss wants a strawberry daiquiri, and I’m still on the dry list. You two…?"
"I'm driving, so just sparkling water for me. What about you, Winter?" Jacques asked, although he was about ready to head inside.
Her eyes flicked to Yang, but then she said, "Martini, dry, single olive. That is, if it's no trouble."
"Nope, not at all!."
Weiss and Jacques headed inside first, with him asking about how she was and how Fènleng had been. It was always the subject whenever he came over now. But before Winter could step inside, Yang's hand landed on her shoulder, pulling her slightly around.
"Hey… you got a minute?"
That was quite startling for the elder of the Schnee sisters. Glancing both between the door inside and Ruby on the bench, she asked, "Of course, what's up?"
Glancing back at her little sister for a quick moment herself, she leant in closer toward Winter, talking in a hushed tone. "Okay, this is gonna be a weird request, but could you talk to her? This past few months she's had a bad case of the blues about, um, this situation she’s in. I know it's weird asking since she barely knows you, but… I'm kinda at a roadblock."
"Me?" Gulping, she glanced back at Ruby, then again at Yang. The woman she had treated so badly once upon a time. "I… don't have the greatest track record with helping people. Mentally. I'm honestly very surprised you'd ask me."
"Well, I'm stuck… Weiss is stuck, Penny's stuck… we're out of options. Not that you're a bad option, that's not what I'm saying at all! I mean, I know it's not gonna be the same as when you talked me into leaving and-" Sensing she was rambling, however, she looked down when the quizzical gaze of Winter met her own. "Bad start… bad start. But, yeah… if it's okay with you, could you? She may open up more if it's with somebody who doesn’t know her as well as us."
"Yang… you have me all wrong. I'm honoured you trust me to help her, and I'll definitely do my very best. Just… surprised." Swallowing hard, she whispered, "I've been hoping to… make things up to you; I know I can't, but anything I can do to try…"
"Oh pssshhh, I wasn't even thinking about that!" Yang quickly assured her, even laughing a little just to prove it. But in a short moment she squeezed her shoulder, just enough to convey she was serious. "I'm asking as a sister-in-law. Not as a 'you owe me'. Please?"
That prompted Winter to sigh in mild relief as she patted the hand on her shoulder. "That means the world to me. And yes, of course; I just apologise in advance if the talk doesn't do as much good as we both hope."
"Least we can say we tried. I'll have your drink ready in a second."
Finally releasing the shoulder, she headed back in the house behind Weiss and Jacques, leaving the two girls outside alone. Ruby, who was still trying to look to one side with her beverage to do anything to avoid looking her way; and Winter, who was awkward enough thinking about what needed to be done. It was pretty obvious Ruby wouldn't be the one starting.
There was so much she wanted to say, but in the end all she did was pace up behind the bench, come to a stop, and ask, "So… how have you been?"
Nervously shrugging her shoulders, Ruby kept watching the lake while she took a sip of her drink. Damn Yang… she didn't know anything about the situation, yet had somehow managed to convince Winter to do the very thing they needed to - despite her wanting to run a mile from it!
"G-good," she murmured after the sip, resting the hand back on her knee again. "J-just, um, doing so-so. And you?"
"I've been better… but I've been worse. So… I guess the same as you." She looked down towards her hands, white-knuckling on the back of the bench, and tried to relax. It wasn't working. "How are… you and Penny?"
Yet again, she shrugged her shoulders. However this time she at least made some form of effort to acknowledge her needs, by scooting to one side of the bench. "Not too bad, I guess. She has a new job, but she's been kinda stressed because I've been super tired a lot of the time."
Realising it would look strange if she kept standing there when there was an empty seat, she rounded it, sitting down as far away as she could from Ruby. Hopefully, she wouldn't feel crowded. "Why so tired? If it's not too much to ask about. Feel free to tell me it's none of my business, I…" But she didn't finish her thought.
"O-oh, it's nothing. J-just… uh…" Seemed it was more than nothing, especially when it came to the person she was admitting this to. But trying her best, she eventually shrugged her shoulders after another drink. "Just… felt a little off, that's all. I-it's like that sometimes."
"You should talk to your sister about that. She would know more about that, since she's… already on medication. No thanks to me," she added in a bitter undertone.
Closing her eyes, Ruby sighed deeply as she placed her glass on the ground and out the way. "That wasn't your fault entirely, you know. There were a lot of issues at the time with her, hiding under the surface. And besides, I'm pretty sure it’s not genetic; my parents weren’t diagnosed with stuff like that. So if it’s anybody, it’s Yang’s mom, I guess."
"Still, you… should work on what's troubling you." This was getting harder to dance around, and when she thought about doing so, she found she was unable to. "Because despite… how things played out, I still want what's best for you, Ruby. There's just no sense in you suffering if you can talk to someone, sort things out. Medication or no medication."
"I'm not depressed," she corrected. Although from the way she kept staring toward the ground, she wasn't exactly doing anything to prove that comment wrong. In the end, she placed her hands on the bottom of her small skirt, grasping the hem anxiously. But in the end, she thought to herself; what good would it do to keep distracting and leaving things unsaid? "I've just… been upset. Not Depression, not anything else; I'm just sad, okay? It… it was my own stupid fault in the first place."
"What was?" When Ruby didn't answer immediately, she followed up with, "I don't want to assume anything. That isn't my right. But maybe whatever has upset you wasn't your fault alone, and… and then you wouldn't have to punish yourself so harshly. Right?"
For a long while, there was silence between them. Ruby continued to look downward, still unable to yet look up at someone she once couldn't get enough of. It was almost tragic how far they had drifted thanks to a single argument. But the silence was lifted by a small, but rather desperate whisper.
"I miss you."
Winter's head raised, eyes wide. Her mouth worked as if she would respond right away, but she forced herself to stop, to consider her words more carefully. Then she stated, "And I have missed you. So much."
Tucking a stray strand of hair out of her own face, she eventually settled to holding her hands together on her lap, idly crossing her legs to appear casual. Just on the off-chance anyone inside was looking. But already, she could feel everything she had bottled up coming loose, feel her heart thudding with fear, eyes welling up.
"I just got so mad," she began to confess. “S-so mad and so jealous… and I had n-no right to be. That wasn't fair. Not when I-I'd done things just as bad to you."
"You didn't realize what you had done was so…" Winter paused, having to breathe deeply. This wasn't something she made a habit of discussing, so even now, months later, it was difficult. "We both crossed a line that we didn't think as important to the other person as it turned out to be. Is… that fair to say?"
It was accurate. All Ruby had wanted to do was show Winter that she was brave enough to do more daring things, while Winter simply wanted to keep the two most important people in her life happy without awkward encounters. It was certainly a fair assessment. Nodding in agreement, she stared out toward the lake again in a somewhat more contented silence.
"…How's Qrow?"
"Oh, he's been alright. They promoted him to assistant manager of the bar; said he was doing a great job with the work but was a little rude to the customers, so he was better placed being rude to the bartenders."
"So he gets to sit at a desk behind the bar and drink? Sounds like an ideal job for him."
Winter smiled down at the hands in her lap. "You… probably don't want to know any more details than that, do you?"
Though that last comment didn't make Ruby laugh. Unfortunately, she was still rather awkward about that situation. "N-no… not really. I wanna hear if he's okay but not like, those details."
"Of course, of course," she replied hastily. "I have no problem with that. As long as you agree not to tease me about… about the other thing. We can bring it up from time to time, but don't tease. It just…" She looked away, biting her lip to keep from showing a reaction too severe.
"I know… I stepped over the line." Nervously she shuffled in her seat again, looking downward toward the floor. A look of pure shame. "The truth is… I just thought that maybe… if I used my intuition and showed that I could be daring enough to try something big like that, you'd be pleased with my progress. But now I know, t-that was completely wrong. That you can't ‘guess’ with this stuff."
The corner of her mouth ticked up as she conceded, "Well, to be fair, you were right with everything except the third person who happened to be in the room. But your performance was… I still have to fan myself thinking about how good you were."
"It… was pretty hot." Unsure if that was crossing the line or not, she shrugged her shoulders nervously. "That doesn't count as teasing, right? To admit that it was really… really thrilling?"
"No, not at all. I… could tell you how I really felt about it, if you promise not to pass judgment. A-and if you promise not to think it means I dislike you; just because I was angry and upset didn't mean I wanted you out of my life! I regret so much that I made it seem that way…"
"I wouldn't blame you if you did… I crossed the line," she admitted again. She knew she deserved more than that. She expected fury, rage even, but Winter had something else to say. "…g-go on?"
"What I said during play… that it really turned me on… I wasn't lying. It did. But admitting that means admitting that…" Winter's cheeks were pink already due to how long they had been talking about their last session, but she bravely forged ahead.
"On the car ride up here, I spent the entire time trying to ignore how wet I was getting. Because I was in the same car as my father. You were so good, and gave me such a powerful climax, that now… now I associate that with speaking to him, being in the same place as him. Which I'm so ashamed of; it's… not as if he had anything to do with it directly, or as if I want to sleep with him! GOD, no! But the two things are connected in my brain pretty strongly now." Now that the older woman had said her peace, she closed her eyes and waited for the reaction. However bad it might turn out to be.
"Ohhh…" Surprisingly, it was far easier for Ruby to take in than expected. While it was good to learn that she had given Winter an extremely powerful orgasm, and Winter was proud of her as a sub… learning that Winter now associated her own father with their escapades wasn't so good. In fact, when she thought about it…
It was the same association she now had with Qrow once learning who he was. Finding out that Qrow was another of Winter’s partners made such thoughts hard to totally block out. A sexual context for her own uncle. They were both dealing with those awful tricks of their minds. Only difference was, Ruby knew she would never accidentally be picturing her uncle during the act the same way Winter might with her father.
"Shit… I really screwed up…"
"Not so badly. I mean, it's almost fun, when I'm not disgusted with myself." A few seconds later, she added in a weak murmur, "That was supposed to be humourous, but after saying it, I realized it didn't come out that way…"
Still blinking, she finally looked more in Winter's direction than the floor at last. Not eye contact yet, but it was better than what it was. "Geeze, I just wanted to do something… adventurous. To be bold or whatever. I didn't want to ruin an entire person for you, let alone your own father!"
With another gentle, nervous smile, she turned back to face forward. "You don't have that much power, Ruby. He's not ruined, exactly… just… this is something I'll have to work through. But it does help to have a specific cause; you fucking me under the desk, instead of just 'Surprise, you're turned on in your father's presence'. Keeps me from thinking I'm even more of a deviant than I already am."
There was a small chuckle coming from her. "That would be the worst version of the Daddy kink."
"Ugh," Winter groaned, ducking her head. "Do you know how long I mentally dissected me moaning 'Daddy' when I’m being fucked?! I haven't called him that in over a decade, and I still had to worry about it!"
"Oh my god, I was kidding - I didn't know you had one!" The laugh was beginning to increase in volume. In fact, it would be the loudest anyone would have heard her laugh in weeks, even if it was a slight form of teasing. Their talk was working.
So Winter kept it going. Yes, she was uncomfortable with the subject matter, but it was also a relief to be able to get it out and discuss it instead of bottling everything up. "Well, I do, but it never had anything to do with my actual daddy until that night. Not as far as I knew, anyway." Shifting in her seat, she muttered, "You know what they say about all little girls wanting to marry their fathers…"
"Not me; never ever been interested in men. Even me being kinda weird about sex aside…" Finally, she felt her muscles relaxing as she grew more at ease; even began to smile. Maybe things were going to work out for them still being friends, after all. In the end, that's what they wanted, to be in one another's lives, regardless of feelings.
But Ruby didn't want to leave it there. Talking about where things went wrong with their arrangement was one thing, but with their feelings was another. They had come too far, said too much to leave it there without talking it through fully. If only she could take that first step.
Though Winter beat her to it. "If you're sure you want to keep these secrets, and aren't already disgusted by me…" Her eyes flicked up to Ruby's face, then away again, waiting. Bursting to speak, but afraid that she had already gone too far.
"I could never be disgusted with you." At long last, she looked up, and right at Winter's face. It was like she was seeing her for the first time all over again. She could already feel the bottled up feelings reemerging, the compulsive need to grab Winter and kiss her as hard as she could. But they had to talk it out first. "Even after all my thinking, all this time with these dumb thoughts… I can't be disgusted with you. I can't even dislike you. And I don't want to. Because all this time has passed and I… I-I… still…"
Almost as if to head her off, Winter went on, "G-good. Because it's been getting worse, even if I've been getting better at processing it; understanding it's a kink, and it doesn't make me bad for having a kink if I don't indulge it. That's not as bad, right?" Her eyes held Ruby's for just a moment, hopeful, drinking in the desire she saw reflected there, before she turned away.
"As you heard, my father has begun dating this Amber woman. I've seen her, and she really is attractive." More fidgeting from the elder Schnee sister. "S-so… I may have had a stray fantasy about walking in on them…"
"Well… I-I guess… um…" Truly speechless after that confession of hers, Ruby looked to one side wide eyed, scratching the back of her head nervously. Managing to force a chuckle of her own, she admitted, "I guess these things don't hurt. Fantasies and all that, different strokes for different folks."
"You know, I could tell he was flustered by that sketch of yours - which I framed, by the way, I hope I can show you how it looks framed. That… is part of what made it harder to forget this whole thing. He didn't know it, but he was finding me attractive." Then she cleared her throat, waving that away as best she could. "Which only makes sense; he's always told me I'm a lot like Mother was. Weiss is the one who looks so distinctly different, even though there's a family resemblance, of course."
"Weirdly? She looks like your dad, if he was a girl… if that makes sense?" She could only hope that would be enough to make her chuckle along with her. The strange thing was, at the start of this arrangement, she was so obsessed with Winter's likeness to Weiss. Now, she could completely separate them. When with Winter, it was like Weiss was never even a factor.
"She does!" Winter admitted with a giggle of her own, raising a hand to her mouth to hide it. Then she sighed and said, "Anyway, enough about my budding Electra complex before I develop a thing for Weiss, too." Turning more fully, she looked straight at Ruby with a sober gaze. "I'm so happy that we can talk again. It might not be easy, but I can't tell you how much I've missed this!"
Laughing right back with her, Ruby picked her drink back up from the ground. The smile on her face evolved into a grin. "Me too! This was one of the things I missed. I mean, Weiss and Blake are great to talk to, but you sorta get fed up with them bringing up their other halves like, all the time."
Nodding, Winter crossed her legs in a lot less discomfited gesture - though she still shivered slightly at the action. "Indeed, they do go on about each other. But it's a positive thing, that they're in such stable relationships." Glancing over at Ruby, she asked in a careful tone, "You and Blake didn't ever…?"
Drinking the final swig of her drink, Ruby shook her head lightly, drawing the glass away. "Nah. We agreed that'd be too weird with how she was with Yang and all. Plus, as much as she knows she's bisexual…" Shuffling up closer to Winter a moment, she quickly checked the area to make sure no one was in sight. Thankfully, they were all too distracted by the presents to even notice those two outside. Finally, she leaned into her ear, whispering, "She is definitely all about dicks."
Giggling, Winter whispered back, "I know. I offered to Dom her a few times, or to let her Dom me, and she said she 'wouldn't mind' but didn't seem all that excited about getting around to it. I saw that as the gentle kiss-off that it was, and never pushed for an answer."
"Yeah… She won't admit it, but she is a cockslut," Ruby whispered back. And yet even when she was done whispering, she didn't move away. Not yet. She had become content with sitting right at Winter's side, even leaning in slightly toward her. So close… even after months, it was becoming like those few romantic sessions all over again. Except there were no characters, no practice. This was Winter Schnee and Ruby Rose.
"Do you still…" But as soon as the words began to form, she held a hand up, shaking her head. "Nah, forget it, I'm being dumb."
"I still miss more than just our sessions," Winter told her firmly, offering it when Ruby hadn't finished her question. "I miss YOU, all of you."
Ruby found no more words to say. Usually a chatterbox who let her mouth run, and she was completely speechless. All she could do was keep their close proximity, feel her cheeks beginning to heat up once more as Winter stared back at her. She always managed to make her blush… and this was no exception. After a brief check to make sure no one was around, she found her eyes wandering elsewhere. To Winter's eyes, her lips…
"Kiss me."
"Are you sure?" she breathed gently, allowing her index finger to brush down along Ruby's arm. "Someone might see. Or do you want them to see?" Quirking her lips, she whispered as she drifted closer, "Not that I would fault you if that was secretly what you wanted."
"I-I want…" She wanted everything to go the way it was meant to go when she first confessed her feelings for Winter. She wanted for them to be more, so much more. "I want you… I want to feel how you feel about me. Even after this long. I-if you still do."
At the more insistent wording, the lessening of ambiguity, Winter's eyes began to shimmer. Her throat tightened, and she leaned in yet closer. With only another second of hesitation, her lips took the younger woman's, hungrily and with great relish.
And she poured every last ounce of desire into her mouth as she kissed her back, as her hand slid up to rest upon her neck. For the first time, one of their kisses wasn't merely full of confidence, sensuality, desire. This time, there was so much affection - on a level closer to Penny's, though different in its own right. Open and earnest.
In the same way, Ruby felt her eyes closing in bliss. Her hand crept up and into Winter's hair, bringing her in closer. Her other hand was holding her glass as best she could, but even that was a struggle. In the movement and effort Winter displayed when she opened her lips slightly further, when she eased her tongue forward to brush against her own, she could feel it. This kiss was so completely different to what she had felt from her before, yet entirely familiar. Winter Schnee loved her, and she could tell from that single, honest kiss between them. And already she could feel tears welling up in her eyes all over again.
Though Winter continued to pour more and more of her affection into the contact, eventually it grew to be too powerful. She had to break away to whisper, "I thought I lost you forever!" before she threw her arms around Ruby, pushing her face into her neck and trembling all over as she tried not to break down entirely.
Although hesitant at first, Ruby eventually found the strength to hug right back, pulling her in tightly as she grasped the cardigan she was wearing. Everything was back, her scent, her touch; her. And she wouldn't have it any other way. What a fool she was to let it all go, to let such a thing slip away because of a pathetic argume-
"Guys, we're starting to open the presents!"
Yang happened to call as she stood by the conservatory door. Why did that have to happen now?! Thankfully, there was no awkwardness about the embrace; it simply looked like what Yang had intended for them, for Winter to have helped Ruby with her sadness. And that brought a smile to her face. "Awww, come on you nerds, get in here!"
Pulling back with a sniffle, she was sure not to do what she would have done - kiss Ruby again - and instead turned immediately to call, "Coming!" When addressing Ruby again, she whispered, "Are you going to be alright? I mean, I think I can dry it up, but we can linger a moment if you need to."
Moving the hand from the back of her head to her shoulder instead, she nodded. She desperately wanted to do the same, quickly lunge forward and kiss Winter. But that would have to wait until another time. "Y-yeah, we'd better. Yang's been worried about me."
"Yeah, she said. Your sister really cares for you; I'm glad you're so close." Biting her lip as she stroked Ruby's arm, down out of sight due to the bench, she whispered, "Maybe… she can be one of the first ones we tell, when we're ready. She and Weiss. I think they're the ones who might feel the most strange about us being anything other than sisters-in-law."
"Yeah… Yeah that's true. It would be a good idea." But it seemed at first, Ruby hadn't quite realised what that implied. Until she started to really think about it. And her eyes widened once she began to think on it more and more, before finally gasping, "You… want that with me? Like, to be completely out in the open? Really?"
"Possibly," she answered with a shy smile as she finally began to stand up, pulling Ruby to her feet alongside. "Depending on other factors. Mainly, you and Penny; if we did that, she would be part of a polyamorous relationship, even if she has no feelings for me. I don't want to put her in that position if she's not comfortable with it. And then we'll have to decide how we feel about each of the other people in our lives knowing about it in turn."
"Yeah, of course. If we don't handle this right, people would accuse me of being a cheater. And I don't want that – she doesn’t deserve to have people thinking that, either. Don't worry, I'll be talking to her about it soon."
Winter nodded, then couldn’t help grinning down at the little puppy. Now all hers – or at least, more hers than she had been expecting. "I can’t wait."
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Text
Jon Lord, Deep Purple
Original article by Lee Marlow which was first printed in the Leicester Mercury in July, 2000.
-
You join us in the hallway of Jon Lord's sprawling Henley-on-Thames home.
Him, Leicester born, millionaire keyboard maestro with rock legends Deep Purple and Whitesnake; me, Leicester-born over-eager hack with a headful of daft questions he's answered a thousand times before.
Holding out a hand, Mr Lord, the David Niven of rock 'n' roll, greets me like a long-lost friend.
Grey stubble frames his face and a head full of slate grey hair is tied neatly in a pony tail.
"Good to see you... find it all right?... blah... terrible weather again isn't it... blah... Yes, it is nice round here isn't it... George Harrison lives just down the road... blah... we're touring in August... blah... on the road in South America..."
He hardly stops to draw breath as we settle in the cream lounge.
I can't help but notice the luxurious off-white carpet is so plush that I can trace my footsteps from the oak door to the immense sofa and, in the corner, a small cinema screen masquerades as a TV.
Life has been kind to Jon Lord.
He's sold millions of records and, erm, "rocked" the biggest audiences the world over – from the 200,000 fans at the California Jam in the mid-1970s to last year's hybrid Royal Albert Hall gig featuring Deep Purple and the London Symphony Orchestra.
Purple, his mainstay band of the past four decades, are about to hit the road again.
Lord admits that after all this time it's hard to resist.
"I don't need to do this anymore," he says, "but it is immense fun.
''I do see a time when we'll have to call it a day, of course, but when? I know I can't do it when I'm 90, but..."
It's all a long way from life at 120 Averill Road, where Mr Lord senior packed socks by day and played sax by night and where the young Lord enjoyed "a perfect childhood," roaming through the nearby countryside with his grubby-faced pals.
An after-school diet of piano lessons, homework and bike riding, however, left a teenage Lord facing an extra year at Wyggeston School.
"I just wanted to play with my friends," he says. "But it was always homework and piano lessons. Something had to give – and it was usually homework."
After being sacked from his first two jobs in Leicester, Lord left for London to study acting and played roll-out-the-barrel-style standards in smoky pubs to pay his rent.
Despite his best intentions, Lord's hopes of becoming an actor were overtaken by his desire to play rock 'n' roll and by the mid-60s, he'd been roped in to play keyboards on The Kinks' You Really Got Me.
"All I did was plink, plink, plink," he laughs. "It wasn't hard."
But from there, Lord and his trusty Hammond organ didn't look back.
He had a top 10 hit with Let's Go To San Francisco with The Flowerpot Men and was pocketing the princely sum of £60 a week.
Lord's future was bright. In fact, his future was Purple.
The group formed in 1968 and had a smash hit in the US with Hush at the end of the year. Three decades later, Kula Shaker took the same song to No 1 in the UK charts. ("Good version as well," says Jon, "if a bit too fast.'')
Purple opened for Eric Clapton's Cream in the States, but after five storming gigs they were taken off the tour as the energised Purple boys blew Slowhand's shambolic drug-addled trio off stage.
"We got on well with them. They had no idea we were to be taken off the tour – they were too stoned!" recalls Jon.
Back home, Purple instigated the first of many line-up changes, welcoming new singer Ian Gillan and bass player Roger Glover – a switch which heralded a new era for Purple and, with it, British rock.
"We knew we had something. It was just so exciting. We used to practice every afternoon and then gig every night."
Gillan brought more than great vocals to the band – his jet-black long hair and charisma attracted the ladies as well.
"There were plenty of groupies at that stage," smiles Lord.
And?
"Well, let's just say if you give a young lad a bit of money and untroubled access to nubile young women – it's not a bad life is it?"
Even at the wrong side of 50, Gillan, it appears, still has a certain charm with the opposite sex. Lord and Gillan were recently interviewed by former Watchdog beauty Alice Beer for the BBC1 religious show H&E.
"I might as well not have been there," smiles Lord. "She was completely taken by Gillan. And after the show they left together and went for a drink. No, I don't know what happened!"
The first five years of the 1970s saw Deep Purple trapped in a perpetual album-tour-album loop. The shows were sold out and the albums – In Rock, Fireball, Machine Head, Made In Japan, Who Do We Think We Are? – all went platinum.
They made a wodge of money, concedes Jon, but their managers made more.
Yet despite the excess (they also had their own plane, naturally), Lord steered clear of drugs.
"I can say hand-on-heart we were never really a drug band. My Dad bought me my first pint and I was still very much a lad from Leicester, you know.
"I experimented with drugs, of course I did. I smoked grass, but it left me sitting in a corner, introspective and giggling to myself.
"I had a brief flirtation with cocaine in the late 1970s but, to be honest, I don't really like being out of control."
The drugs came later. American Tommy Bolin, drafted in to replace the increasingly moody and erratic guitarist Ritchie Blackmore, succumbed to a long-term heroin habit in 1976 and Lord still recalls the time a cocaine dealer chased bassist Glenn Hughes on to the band's private plane, demanding $3,000.
By 1976, the writing was on the wall for Purple and its elaborate brand of rock music. Punk was the new king.
Lord retreated to the States for two years. But former Purple leader David Coverdale was looking for someone to become the new ivory tinkler in his new outfit, Whitesnake, and Lord fitted the bill.
"He wouldn't take no for an answer. I harboured no ambition to be Whitesnake's keyboard player, but he was very, very insistent."
Persuasive Coverdale might have been, but financially generous he certainly wasn't.
"I was in Whitesnake from 1978 to 1983 and he paid me abysmally! I complained regularly and he'd say 'Ok, leave it with me', but it never changed.
"It was a good laugh – that was the main reason I stayed in the band. It was ironic that in the middle of this punk revolution we were playing white R&B and selling out tours."
Strangely, considering the times, Whitesnake's brand of sexist crab-paced rock was a hit.
They were the biggest-grossing tour band in Europe by 1981. But Coverdale – secretly nicknamed Elsie by the band because of his louche on-stage antics and some of his cheesy lyrics – wanted success in America. At all costs.
"It was all style over substance towards the end," sighs Lord. "The band lost its heart. It was just about posing."
The music might have lost its soul, but Whitesnake – complete with a new band of poodle-permed hired hands in black spandex and glitter jackets – went on to sell 17 million albums in 1987.
Lord, meanwhile, had answered the call to reform Deep Purple.
"The critics said Purple getting back together was about money. It was never about money," says Lord. "It was exciting for us and the fans when we got back together."
And that's where he's been ever since. In truth, the reformed band never quite graced the same artistic heights they reached in their heyday, but on the concert circuit they're still capable of selling out a Wembley Arena or NEC.
"I don't enjoy touring in the way I used to, but those two hours on stage make up for it.
''The day I can't open that door and look forward to it is the day I say, 'Thank you very much and goodnight'."
And that's about it. Interview over. I've got more daft questions but, crikey, I've been here for more than three hours and he needs to finish a musical extravaganza he's writing for the local church. Phew, rock 'n'roll.
"Take care driving back," he says, "and give my love to Leicester."
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maxortecho · 5 years
Text
Confessions - 1x01
For today’s Echo appreciation, I thought I’d use the theme of confessions and kick off a meta series following Liz’s S1 journey towards Max. 
Liz has been closed off and emotionally drifting for the past 10 years. She doesn’t connect. Once she hits Roswell though, she’s met with a shock to the system in the shape of Max Evans. Max emotionally blindsides Liz throughout S1. She likes to see herself as a rational person separate from her emotions, but she struggles to rationalise Max. Bit by bit, Liz finds herself becoming tethered to a connection and to her feelings again. Ultimately, Liz’s S1 romantic arc builds to her confessing these feelings to herself, to Max, and to Rosa. 
So let’s start with episode 1!
The Crashdown
The first episode opens with Liz spitting fire at an unknown cop for pulling her over at an ICE checkpoint. Except, well—turns out it’s Max Evans. Her anger subsides, her voice softens, and she’s suddenly remembering him smiling at her in high school. The thing is, Max is still the cop who pulled her over. Liz is shocked to see him, sure, but I think it’s her automatic association of goodness and safety with her memory of Max that has her combativeness and suspicion evaporating on the spot.
Then Sheriff Valenti comes over. Liz’s walls immediately go back up.
Liz: “Are you going to breathalyze me, or?”
Later, at the diner, Max causes the same shocked and breathless reaction.
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I still find it cute that Liz spends a good thirty seconds speechless and staring at Max wide-eyed while he’s talking to her. She seems more stunned than she was the first time--he was in full uniform and a strange context there; here, he’s lost the hat and the jacket, and he’s in familiar territory at the diner and her family home. 
Max is only dropping in to let Liz know her left front running light is broken, and then he promptly turns to leave in the middle of her staring. Liz flounders and mirrors his spin, walking in the other direction--
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(to where, honey? the window? lmao)
--before making a split-second decision to dive headfirst into that familiarity sparking between them.
Liz: “You want a milkshake?”
Liz doesn’t get time to rationalise in these initial moments. She stays in that vulnerable space during their diner discussion, tries drawing Max there with her (”You wanted to be a writer. So why did you join the force?”). Max references Rosa’s death and Liz visibly closes herself off. This is the first time she does so in reaction to Max--which is fitting, considering what happens next.
In the OG Roswell, Liz actually gets shot in the stomach. But Liz gets shot in the heart in RNM. I definitely think RNM upped the drama and the symbolism here. Max and his family’s betrayal has lead to Liz dying by the heart. It’s time for him to start fixing his mistakes or Liz is gone forever. Eight minutes into the series, Max literally and symbolically restarts Liz’s heart.
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Big Sisters
After Liz is shot and Max tells her it didn’t happen, Liz decides she’s going to confront him. But directly before she does, Liz visits Rosa’s roadside grave. Liz doesn’t have a memory here that is specifically about Rosa. Instead, she has a memory where she talks to Rosa about Max. When I first watched this, I found it a strange choice for introducing Rosa. But!
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I now view this Liz/Rosa conversation as representing Liz’s conflicting perspectives about Max. Flashback Liz is all heart and driven by emotions: “Maybe I don’t want to miss Max Evans”. 
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Flashback Rosa is arguing to think with her head and not her emotions, and pushing the ‘cage around your heart’ narrative that Liz adopts after Rosa’s death: “He’s already in the rearview mirror, trust me”.
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Liz’s memory at Rosa’s roadside grave feels like she’s seeking out her big sister’s advice. What’s interesting is that Liz already knows Max is lying to her and she has suspicions he’s hiding something bigger—and yet an emotional plea is her first plan of action. The rational, scientific plan (what we are consistently told is characteristic of Liz) is her back-up plan when it comes to Max. 
So Liz finds Max and gives him a milkshake. She reveals some personal information in an attempt to appeal to his goodness and sense of right. She can trust Max to tell her the truth. All he needs is a push. A secret for a secret, right?
Liz: “Can you keep a secret? My mother is mentally ill. My sister Rosa too. I was always afraid I’d end up like them. Hallucinating. You know I thought I was shot?”
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Except Max doesn’t meet her halfway. He denies she was shot. Max changes his mind when Liz becomes more upset, but he gets interrupted by Michael exploding a car’s windows. Liz leaves the conversation without answers. She takes Max’s straw instead.
Even though Liz has fallen onto her rational plan, how does she follow up the Max interaction? With another big sister. She seeks out Maria and The Wild Pony. The next step of Liz’s rational plan should be checking out Max’s DNA. But Liz doesn’t do that yet. Instead, Liz actually follows the next step of her emotional plan failing: girl’s gotta eat her proverbial bucket of ice cream before she can move on. Liz tells Maria that she thought she felt a spark with Max, but now she just feels like an idiot after getting the cold shoulder from him. 
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Liz finds that switching off her emotional reaction towards Max--and transitioning into a rational scientist about him--isn’t coming easily to her for some reason. Strange. That usually works. I don’t think this is an influence of the psychic bond either; Liz has the same problem in the beginning of 1x03. She’s there to gather data about Max but has to visibly shake off her emotional reaction and the pull towards him. 
By the time the handprint turns up and Liz checks his DNA, Liz is ready to confront Max again. Except Max has already decided he’s ready to share his secret. Like their first scene at the ICE checkpoint, all of Liz’s fire evaporates on the spot.
The Desert
This whole episode, Liz has been trying to get some vulnerability and honesty out of Max. And boy does she get it. Max flays himself open in the desert for Liz—his identity, his feelings, his memories—and the amount he’s giving her blows Liz and her reservations away. HER FACE JOURNEY, Y’ALL.
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Liz: “Max... Why me?”
Max: “Do you remember the first time we met?”
Liz: “I feel like I’ve just always known you.”
I ache at this line. This idea of Max embedded in Liz’s history and a piece of her identity. Max associated with familiarity and home, despite him literally being an extra-terrestrial figure. She isn’t bothered nor put off him by him being an alien. He’s still just Max Evans to her. (And, okay, for Max who simply wants to be the guy from Roswell, who feels scared of being extraordinary, I find this really sweet.) Max can show her his memories and how he feels about her (why her), but he’ll have to touch her.
Liz: “Okay. Do um… do whatever you want.”
Which is essentially the point of this meta where I descend into incoherent yelling. Liz will say in 1x04 that she keeps a cage around her heart. But here, Liz doesn’t even hesitate to give him full access to it. Max made himself vulnerable for her, so she’s comfortable fully reciprocating. Liz entered Roswell wary and closed off, but a few days later she’s 100% on board for weird, unknown, psychic alien bonding with Max. Damn. Over and over, we are shown that Max Evans is an exception to Liz’s rules.
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Max refuses to kiss Liz after, thinking he’s interacting with a Liz mirroring his own feelings back at him. Liz doesn’t seem to agree. Instead of arguing the point though, she leaves it at “Fine. I’ll kiss you [when the handprint fades].”  (His delightfully scandalised reaction? Chef kiss!) She can prove him wrong later, if he won’t believe her right now. I do think Liz reflects Max here in some kind of feelings loop--but at the same time, she knows she’s also experiencing this purely, as her own source of feelings.  
While I’m here, if Max believes Liz is reflecting his feelings, then what does Max believe he’s feeling because of Liz? Does he consider that possibility? Is he feeling any doubt or fear? And if he is, is that Liz or him?
The Reunion
Hmm, reunion indeed.
Liz says she can’t connect. But she does.
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Liz says she doesn’t dance in Roswell anymore. But she does. And she drags Max along with her.
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Oh, I’m sensing a theme for Liz here.  
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pinkykitten · 5 years
Text
Trust
Marvel
Bucky Barnes x Frankie Winchester (oc)
Warning: fighting, curse words
Specifics: comedy, romance, fluff, one-shot, oc
People: bucky barnes, steve rogers
Words: 1,826
Requested: By @the-gang-makes-a-tmblr for a prompt i was thinking they first get together after they save the world in some way, and it's kind of fluffy, and it's basically how they can relate in some things in their life being difficult. And that's part of what draws them together in this. But just gonna start with them getting together basically.
Authors Note: i kinda changed up the prompt a bit so instead of them fighting to save the world i just made it that they fought something small since this is just them meeting. i really enjoyed this oc and writing this it was super fun and forgive me for taking so long to write this. 
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“Hey bonehead, you think you can go any faster?” Frankie asked impatiently. Her heels of her boots constantly making contact with the floor making a clicking sound. 
“What did you call me?” The man turned around, anger evident on his face. Frankie smirked as the two waited in line at Frankie’s favorite bakery. 
“I’m sorry I just didn’t realize you were deaf...bonehead. I called you bonehead. You keep looking at the menu for five god da*m minutes like just pick something. I’m starving and haven’t had any breakfast and I gotta run somewhere so hurry.” Frankie crossed her arms. 
The man stopped ordering and tried to punch Frankie. Frankie dodged the blow and instead caught his arms in a death lock. The cashier lady already used to Frankie’s attitude smiles as she gives Frankie her special order. “Extra berries like I asked?”
The lady nodded and Frankie smiled, “thats why you’re my favorite. Gotta love ya! Here take this,” Frankie hands the cashier girl a tip but the lady denies it. “You are our best customer, you know you don’t need to pay.”
“I know lady but I’m trying to be nice and everything so just take the da*m money already, alright.”
The lady chuckled and took it, mumbling, “stubborn.”
Frankie let the man go and walked out with her order, putting her sunglasses on. 
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She moaned in delight taking a big bite of her pie. The movement of the car got some of the filling on her outfit. “Sh*t.” 
Frankie missed her brothers, it was almost as everything reminded her of them. 
As Frankie parked the car on the side of the road trying to take out the stain she remembered when she was little and how her brothers used to play dress up with her. They would treat her so specially. All she wanted to do in life was be like them. 
“Lets put some music on,” she looked through her discs of her favorite music. “Which one do I want?” She tried to decide between Fall out Boy, or Green Day but she was interrupted by a phone call. 
“Who is this?” 
“Um Frankie,” Steve Rogers said, sounding serious on the other end. 
Frankie sat up straight, worried, “what happened Steve?”
“I think it would be better if you come here.”
“Okay I’m on my way.”
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Munching on the rest of her pie she sprinted indoors of the Avengers Tower, wiping off the residue of breakfast onto her clothes. She could hear talking on the other side of the wall. 
“Steve! Steve!” She was greeted with, “Bucky?” Her eyes wide with surprise. Steve was behind Bucky, a guilty look on his face. “Yeah, hi Frankie.”
Frankie looked between Bucky and Steve, “hey Mr. America, can I speak to you in the back...alone?” Steve nodded and Frankie gripped his arm tightly, knowing she was not hurting him but getting her point across. She lead him inside his room, closing the door. “What the he*l Steve? What is he doing out there?”
“Look I know Frank this is weird-”
“Don’t call me that-”
“But he’s my friend,” Steve continued on, “he’s gotten better.”
“Steve, you know what he does. What he’s like. He’s bad, like really bad. Worse than this pain I’m feeling in my stomach from-”
“Too much pie,” Steve answered for her.
“Wow...is it that obvious.”
Steve grinned, “no, I just know you that well.”
“Steve, me and you are friends, he is not. He has tried and succeeded in killing so many people. He is one of the bad guys and now you want to let him into our life and what you just expect me to just accept him?”
Steve was quiet, peering down at his shoes. 
“Oh my god thats what you were thinking!”
“Frankie, its more than that. Even though he’s done terrible things I just can’t leave him alone. He is terrible and has done terrible things but I suspect if we help him, if we cure him he can be the Bucky I used to know.”
Frankie touched lightly Steve’s cheek, “the Bucky you used to know is not here anymore, Steve. He’s gone and you have to understand that and let go of the past.”
“You want me to let go of the past? Well, I don’t see you letting go of the past about your brothers.”
Frankie gasped. That was a personal, private topic she never liked to discuss but she trusted in Steve so much that she told him everything. He knew he shouldn’t have crossed that line. Steve knew he went a little too far, “Frankie, I’m sorry.”
She put her hand out, “no, you’ve made it very clear who’s side you’re on.”
She left the room, trying to hold back her tears. 
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Training was a great stress relieve. Frankie would just imagine either someone she hated as the punching bag or the issue in her life, trying to knock it down physically and figuratively. 
Sweat dripped from her forehead as she repeatedly kept punching. Her arms were numb but still she kept at it. Finally with one last blow the punching bag flew and ripped in the middle, clean. The sand that made it heavy poured out, “sh*t, gonna have to get another one.” She wiped her forehead as she ripped the bandages across her knuckles off. 
“Has that happened before?” A foreign voice called out to her. Frankie turned to see Bucky, the enemy. Frankie thought to keep silent but instead answered him with a growl, “yes...why are you here Bucky?”
“What? Can’t see a pretty lady like yourself fight?” Frankie looked at him, rolling her eyes. “I see, not really into that type of talk, noted. How did you do that though?”
Frankie shrugged, “do what?”
Bucky pointed at the punching bag, “how did you learn how to fight like that?”
Frankie sat down on the bench and took a swig from her water bottle. She smiled, “my brothers taught me. They literally taught me everything I know.” Bucky sat beside her and could see the love and happiness she had as she talked about her family. 
“And your powers?”
Frankie chuckled, “long story bud, but my powers are basically I can fly and I can beat the sh*t out of people with my superhuman strength.” Frankie created a fist as she showed her muscles, smirking. Bucky chuckled lightly, “I can tell you’re a tough one.”
Frankie playfully hit his arm, “oh really? Who told you?”
Bucky grinned widely, “you know Steve talks a lot about you...” The air was thick and silent. Frankie almost forgot about that man sitting next to her. She almost forgot about what he had done to people. She held onto her water bottle tightly, almost popping it. The anger she felt when Steve chose Bucky over her had risen up again. She stood up but Bucky held onto her hand, “please Frankie, I know I did terrible things but...that wasn’t me. You need to understand Steve is in a hard place right now.”
Frankie looked deep into his blue orbs and shook her head. Her blonde pony tail shaking with her, “I can’t Bucky. I just can’t trust you.” She brought her hand back and proceeded to leave.
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From that day on Bucky had tried to get closer to Frankie. He would converse with her about her childhood, about her life. Her dislikes and likes. He wanted to know everything about her, he wanted to prove to Frankie that she could trust him. 
She even opened up to him about her past, and how difficult it was. In some ways Frankie and Bucky were the same. They both had gone through terrible things in their lives and still made it. Frankie had to admit that Bucky had been through a lot and sometimes she found her self admiring his strength and perseverance. 
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“Guys suit up. We got some men around near the warehouses. Trying to steal military weapons,” Steve announced.  
Frankie got her suit together noticing the way Bucky was staring at her with big eyes. 
“You think you’ll be okay?” He asked her, grabbing Frankie’s arm. Frankie scoffed, “what, you think I won’t be? I’ve lived without you for while, I think I can handle this myself.”
The team went to the area and Steve teamed up Bucky with Frankie. “C’mon Steve, I don’t want to babysit.”
“Guess you’re stuck with me,” Bucky grabbed his guns as he tried to take control. 
“Who does he think he is?” Frankie mumbled as the two met up with the group of men. One group went to a truck and sped away leaving Frankie flying after them, “I’m going after them, Bucky you keep an eye out for these guys.” She points to the rest of robbers. Bucky fights them while Frankie flies over the truck. The men inside try to shoot at her but she dodges it or breaks the bullet. “Is that all you got?”
The men bring out a machine gun and Frankie pauses, eating her words, “oh.”
They shoot at her non stop but she dodges all of the bullets. “You good Frank,” Steve asks through her ear piece.
“Again, don’t call me that, and yeah, I’m good, still alive at least.” Frankie flies under the truck and with her super strength lifts the truck, throwing it upside down. It crashes into tanks with an explosion and fire. Frankie up in the air laughs victoriously and flies below. 
Of course some men are dead but one man is still alive, coughing and trying to get out of the truck. The flames almost consume him but he makes it out. With ashes on his face he is sneaky. He creeps up on Frankie, who thinks all of them are dead. “Well it looks like my work here is done.” She places a hand on her hip. 
“Look out!” Bucky calls to Frankie. Frankie turns around and sees the man that is still alive lift a sharp piece of the truck and is about to stab Frankie. Frankie is too slow and does not protect herself but Bucky runs to her aid and pushes the man away. Bucky punches the man in the face knocking him unconscious.
Bucky so worried runs to Frankie, “hey are you okay? He didn’t hurt you right?”
Frankie is shocked. Surprised that Bucky would do such a thing and cared that much. Bucky wraps her up in his arms and for once she lets him. She lets him in, and is slowly but surely trusting him more and more. She’s starting to open her eyes and see the real Bucky. 
“Bucky...you....you saved my life.”
Bucky helped her in getting up and back to the tower. “I couldn’t let anything bad happen to you Frankie, I just couldn’t.”
Frankie smiled and accepted the hug, embracing him harder, “thank you Bucky.” The two walked hand in hand back to the tower. 
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Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @marwantr, @divaanya, @wassupitschloe, @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag), @spycii, @eminemsgiraffe
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flute-fields · 5 years
Note
Ooh nooo I did put animal crossing! I feel so dumb now I meant harvest moon. Sorry about that!
that’s fine! considering your mom wants one for her DS, i’m going to list the DS games available for Harvest Moon and offer my two cents on them since the DS games are the ones i have the most experience with lol so you’re in luck
to add another note, keep in mind that Harvest Moon has rebranded as Story of Seasons, so SoS is the same HM we all know and love; Natsume took the Harvest Moon title and released a bunch of horrible games to catch peoples’ interest with the familiar title, so the title shifts in this list. i only used the name Harvest Moon when discussing the games out of familiarity/force of habit; later on down this list, the title changes. i’m also adding the 3DS games.
i’ll link you to the games as well so you can go over them yourself/she can check them out herself to see what she’d prefer. i wrote a lot but not nearly enough to cover the controls/functions/story line/overall goal/townspeople in each game.
1) Harvest Moon DS/Harvest Moon DS Cute. considering one of your mom’s favorite HM games are AnWL, i think she’ll like this the best; the game is set in Forget-Me-Not-Valley with a huge amount of characters from AnWL! in DS, you can only play as Jack/Pete. in DS Cute, you can choose to play as either Claire or Pony/Jill. DS/DS Cute is probably one of my favorite title games because it’s so similar to AWL/AnWL, so i think she’d really enjoy this one. i don’t have much to say on the story/goal of the game since it’s basically AWL/AnWL for a DS. out of all the games i go over here, i think she’ll like this one the best.
2) Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness/Harvest Moon: Sunshine Islands. these two are very similar to Tree of Tranquility/Animal Parade because they’re essentially the same game with major differences. in IoH, the player character is washed up on a new island during a horrible shipwreck after a violent storm/lightning strike and sea and never makes whatever their original destination was; those who survived the crash make a new life on the island they washed up on (it sounds bleak but i promise it’s not).
however, in SI, the MC sails to SI for a new life and all of the villagers have an established life there. the two games have different goals and slightly tweaked characters, but are functionally relatively the same, with SI adding in more marriage candidates. this series is also one of my favorites, but one thing to add is that the art is very chibi-fied. not sure if your mom will mind it, but it kind of bugged me at times. i personally prefer SI.
3) Harvest Moon: Grand Bazaar. this was one of my first HM games, and it’s very cute and charming; the art, however, is more cutesy than the previous titles, so at times it kind of feels like everyone is a baby lol. the game is a little different from usual - there’s no shipping bin, because the goal is to sell everything you produce at a bazaar that’s held once a week (or at a shop in town if you don’t want to wait that long). you don’t mine in this game either, since you buy ore in shops or find them in rocks during winter. overall, it’s a cute game, but maybe not the most memorable? i remember enjoying it a lot, but i can’t remember that much about it. >_> it’s one of the more cutesy games as opposed to the little bits of realism/somberness in AWL/AnWL
i’m skipping Puzzle de Harvest Moon/Harvest Moon: Frantic Farming because neither of them are farming simulators, they’re puzzle/matching games
4) Harvest Moon: Tale of Two Towns. one of my favorite games! you play as a farmer starting in one of two towns situated on either side of a mountain, with a blocked tunnel connecting them. your goal is to bring the two towns together again through cooking festivals, which will unblock the tunnel; until then, you travel between the towns by climbing the mountain, which is great for foraging but eats up some time in your day. one town is focused on farming crops, the other is focused on farming livestock; you can do both in either town, but your farm will be devoted more to main export of either town. for example, in Konohana has a lot of fields for crops and a small barn. it’s the opposite in Bluebell.
your residency in one town isn’t permanent, though; i think at the end of every season you can choose if you want to move to the other town and you can keep doing that indefinitely. another addition to the game is dating, where you go on dates with marriage candidates rather than just leveling hearts and proposing! it brings a tiny bit more realism into the romance lol. this game is available for 3DS as well.
5) the Rune Factory games. i haven’t played a lot of RF (only 4 lol ._.) but they’re all titled as fantasy Harvest Moons, meaning you have a farm and farming is a major focus, but there’s also magic and elves and fighting monsters in dungeons to get good loot! RF title games for the DS are Rune Factory: A Fantasy Harvest Moon, Rune Factory 2: A Fantasy Harvest Moon, and Rune Factory 3: A Fantasy Harvest Moon. Rune Factory 4 is a 3DS title and the only one i’ve played but i liked it a lot and intend to play the other titles!
i don’t have too much to say on the series since i haven’t played a lot, but i really enjoyed RF4! the games are much more story driven than Harvest Moon, which i found really fun since it felt like i had more of a goal than just “farm for the town”. i will add though that i loved all of the bachelorettes(minus Amber)/bachelors up until gearing toward proposing, because a lot of their Marriage Events suddenly had like...weird stuff? i won’t spoil anything but suddenly things like possessiveness/jealousy/weird unhealthy relationship stuff came up and i was like WHOA WHAT WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM O_O because it was all SO drastically different from everything else up to that point. i didn’t romance any of the bachelors but it was there for the bachelorettes so idk if it’s the same.
there are more HM games, but these next ones are for 3DS. i’m not sure if your mom has a 3DS (i know u said DS but i call my 3DS a DS all the time so idk if it’s the same thing for you or not >_>), so i’m adding these next titles because i’m on a roll, but keep that in mind! i will also add that, with your mom’s preference in her favorite games, she’d probably enjoy the games i listed above waaaaaay more than these next ones, since that’s how i feel too.
1) Harvest Moon 3D: A New Beginning. this is the title where things feel... very different. i didn’t really enjoy it that much, if i’m being honest, because it brought in a weird focus away from farming where you reorganize the town and build new buildings and stuff. it felt a lot like the sims, minus making characters. this is the first title where you can customize the player character though! which i love! since your mom’s favorite games are AnWL and Animal Parade and MY favorite games are AnWL and Animal Parade and i didn’t enjoy this game much, she probably won’t either. the tutorial stage is also really, REALLY, horrifically long -- it stretches over a week in-game time of just basically doing nothing. most of the characters are REAL charming though imo, and they lose the cutesy chibi art which i was really happy about. the art and characters made me stick through the gameplay since i enjoyed them. they also brought in older characters and renewed their designs; i loooooved Witch Princess and Amir in this game so much i was so stoked to unlock them. but overall yeah one of my least favorite titles in the series since it brought so much focus away from farming to me and while characters/romance are nice, a huge draw TO the HM games is the farming
2) Story of Seasons. first game to be hit with the rebrand from Harvest Moon! any game after this was released (FEB 27 2014 in Japan) with the title of Harvest Moon is NOT Harvest Moon anymore! it’s Natsume up to their dirty tricks of using a great brand and stealing the name to release bad games.
anyway, SoS was... pleasant! i enjoyed it. it didn’t stick with me like the older games, though. but i loooved the art and the town, and the villagers were charming. you compete with other farmers in town for certain fields located in different places, all of which are best suited for certain kinds of crops. i liked the rival aspect, but it is very different from older HM titles. you can also select the difficulty to play in either Veteran mode or Seedling mode; i recommend Seedling mode, both because prices aren’t as high and because HM (to me) is a game to relax and have fun farming, and Veteran mode is just stressful.
3) Story of Seasons: Trio of Towns. i love this one. (well, for the most part). this is the first game that introduces your family! you start off as a young adult still living at home with your mother, father, and younger sister, and decide to move out and become a farmer. your father is furious at this idea but you are eventually set to live in the same town as your Uncle Frank, who is a farmer, to measure your farming ability. if by the end of three years, you haven’t proven to your father than you have what it takes to be a farmer, you’re leaving the town forever. the bleakness reminded me a lot of AnWL, for some reason; i loved the aspect of your father being strict and hard on you since it felt a little bit more somber than the super cute, super peppy titles in the series of recent years.
that’s where the bleakness ends, tho. i will say that, despite loving this game and the characters, i really, REALLY hate the three-town system. you start off on your farm to three crossroads that lead to three different towns that all unlock by summer in your first year. and yes, it’s fun! the different towns yield different crops and resources. but it doesn’t feel at all like Harvest Moon to me. it feels way bigger and with way more things to do. it also makes days a LOT longer, since you run from all of the towns to complete errands in part-time jobs. it needs more of your focus than other games. i haven’t finished the game yet, and while i love it, i love it separately from other HM titles. it doesn’t hook me in the way the older titles did, which i think is because of the modernity of it with three different towns and being bigger and and having such consistently bright colors as opposed to one small town and muted color scheme of, for example, AWL. it feels, like ANB, very different from the vibe Harvest Moon usually gives you. idk how to describe it. i feel like this game exists in a separate niche.
i like how your family feels more real in it, though; they periodically send you letters and visit you. it really feels like you had a life before coming to the town(s), rather than starting off as a blank slate at the beginning of the game.
anyway i hope that helped! lmk if you need any clarification or want to go over other things or want any other recommendations. i hope ur mom finds a game she likes! ^_^
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6th Comedy Monologue
“So folks, that whole Brexit rubbish is finally over isn’t it?”
“I know, some of us could see it coming and Teresa May looks like the spitting image
of the stepmother from Cinderella
how come nobody has noticed that yet?
we all have politicians we don’t like don’t we?
at times like this, I have to remind myself Teresa May is a very well liked woman
but then I remember back in the day Margaret Thatcher was also a very well liked woman
don’t you think she and Teresa may are quite similar?
well this is how she’d treat a political problem
*attempts impersonation*
“what’s that? ok men I did you to do this and then this and then this and this”
whereas Teresa may would handle the situation like…
*attempts impersonation*
what’s this? oh leave it for a few months
but the main thing is they both hate poor people so who cares what they think
I actually sort of understand why people like Jeremy Corbyn but I had written that previous gag back in late June of last year, speaking of outdated gags
Pirates were the communists and socialists of the 17th century
they wanted money, disagreed with colonialism and didn’t care what the government thought of them
like with communists they were accepting and inclusive but they wanted gold
the pirates accepted many on their ship they allowed homosexuality, they allowed women in strong roles  there were great times had on the high seas
even with the loot, they got they’d share it evenly what other power was involved with being inclusive with most things except money Oh Yeah! the communists
Yes, Yes we’ll handle it we’ll accept you but give us all your money
communism is a good concept but in the end, people get greedy for the money
like with pirates
we’ll accept you matey but give us some gold
however they didn’t agree about the government, they had their own independent pirate crews and disagreed with colonialism and capitalism
kind of like some of us, I think
we criticize politics, we like to party and we accept most people except colonialists …and capitalists...
Oh well, at least there’s been good music with Marina and the diamonds, Ariana Grande and the 1975
We, humans, love music
which makes me think about bands related to Homosapians
in the 60s we had the Monkees good band good name
and now we have Arctic Monkeys, Gorillaz, Rang a Tang and Apes
what about the lesser known homosapian types
Chimpanzees and Baboons
if music existed in Planet of the Apes
the Kate Bush hit Babooshka would be about a
monkey looking for love after getting his heart broken seeing his wife cheat on him with an older mandrill
only to fall in love again with who he’d call his baboonska
Animals are interesting creatures whether they are made of glass, made of 1960s haircuts or made of the first songs of a math rock band
Another good thing about music and animals is that Roger Taylor is going to help us save the bees
Thinking bee! Thinking queen! thinking bee! Thinking queen!
Speaking of which there’s been a whole glam rock/synthpop revival going on
And I love that
although as a kid I watched media from all sorts of different decades
While they watched Jersey Shore and Love Island I was watching Disney and CBBC sitcoms mixed with Japanese cartoons and shows from years before like Jem and the holograms, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the original my little pony series.
I would also watch funnybones, the original noody series from a VHS I “borrowed” from my neighbours, as well as the Muppet show and some classic cinema.
I think it’s amazing that this revival is happening it’s like the 60s,70s,80s,90s and early 2000s are all going on at the same time.
Revolutionary anarchic protests, Androgynous rockers, Neon colours, post-punk indie shows, peculiar fashion trends and reality shows as well as the cybernetic future beyond
But I’m also cold and angry about how this is happening because on the other hand, there are things carried over from previous decades that shouldn’t still be around...fascists in positions of power, nonces in the entertainment industry, Threat of a nuclear war, low economy, Jamie Oliver, Piers Morgan, Death, Pollution,Misogyny,Misandry,Sexism,Racism and White Supremacy
I could list more, but I can’t think at the moment I’m focusing on my work while morons on Twitter and Tumblr are yabbering on about vegan sausage rolls.
I’ve never tried Greggs before but I’m sure the vegans and vegetarians are happy that a mainstream chain like Greggs has made a product catered specifically for them, whereas before if you asked for a “vegan option” at a restaurant the waiter would scratch their neck.
However not all restaurants are like this,having to work overtime dealing with angry parents,screaming children and the odd nazi at Mcdonalds is not an easy task,yet so many waiters and workers across the world are able to somehow keep those businesses afloat,you guys, girls and comrades don’t get enough credit,you should be paid more,no wonder so many mainstream restaurants are having strikes or running out of food and people are either going to more independently funded places or ordering online to get their daily dose of fast fried convenience.
and while I would be interested in trying a vegetarian diet,It would be hard for me to give up eating chicken that quickly but I don’t really eat meat that often,and before you say anything as long as cannibals don’t use their choice of food in a dangerous way they’re ok with me, it’s no different to when our prehistoric ancestors had to hunt to find food in order to survive,some people still have to do that,it’s sad...it really is,while Christianity isn’t something I believe in anymore, it did say in the bible that Jesus shared his bread and food with his people,and I think some of us should start doing that,and if you already do whether it’s a snack you have or leaving out leftover food from your side takeaway business, that’s brilliant your making more people happy and your allowing more people to enjoy food and to have access to that basic human necessity that we all should be able to have to access to.
Sharing is another primary school lesson it feels like half of humanity has forgotten about outside of basic decency and kindness, but I’m probably not the one to talk about that since I was called “Rude” for most of my life.
there’s a big difference between telling someone they’re a plonker and making someone more aware of how they can improve themselves as a person.
Most of us all have flaws, most of us have had toxic moments,
we’ve all at times had moments where we’ve said something wrong that we didn’t mean,
or times where our cowardliness has accidentally caused misunderstandings and drama
or times where we didn’t intend to sound hurtful but that’s how it came across, or times where we’ve blindly followed toxic people, imitating their actions without meaning to or just generally times where we’ve been ignorant little eijjits.
Even people some would say were flawless had flaws or problematic aspects about them
David Bowie wasn’t too nice to his wife Angie in later years, Graham Lineman and Robert Webb are transphobic, Rowan Atkinson supports Boris Johnson’s “so-called” jokes and Ricky Gervais doesn’t like hearing people with different opinions than him.
Overthinking however can exaggerate this, overthinking can take that one time you were a bit rude as a child and that problematic “fandom” phase you had as a preteen and make you feel like your worst person in the world.
Your not, but most of us have had moments,there’s also the “not like other girls/boys phase” sometimes it’s just a light-hearted comparison drawing or blog post taken out of context other times it’s the grown-up equivalent of saying “I like this thing over your other thing that means I’m better than you”
Considering my at times cold thoughts it’s weird that I’m the person of all people telling you this
It’s perfectly ok to be prideful and narcissistic just don’t be so arrogant that you forget about your morals and the people that you're close to, but if at times because of mental health you question your levels of empathy, sympathy and compassion that’s ok too, your voices deserve to be heard, and there is help available you can find it through helplines, organizations or even your own comrades.
Outside of all the twits in this horrid fishbowl of a world, there are also millions of very kind nice people, I don’t know where I’d be now without my comrades
The offline pals who are like my sunshine because they brighten up my day,the old secondary school friends that made me feel less alone,the online people who I can vent to, converse with and joke with,the bloggers from years ago that I still sometimes keep in touch with and the creators who through their work in Media, Theatre and the Arts were able to encourage me to keep going, keep working, keep creating.
I think your all lovely and beautiful and creative human beings, no matter what identity you are, what music genre you listen to or what topping you prefer on your pizza
I will most likely adore you and if I haven’t it’s probably because I haven’t met you yet
You are one biscuit of cells, on this fishbowl planet, your mind is a land of wonder and your body is the garden surrounding it, take care of yourself like how you take care of your garden, your pets or the fictional characters you write about.
Your future might not be the future you expect, but it’s one you’ll enjoy.
if you are doing something you love which harms nobody, be as happy and passionate about it as you like
you are a person who deserves the world
Don’t push yourself too hard, if you know you’re doing a good job keep at it, don’t stress yourself too hard, but remember not to procrastinate, your mental health is important, some people might not understand all of the issues you’re going through, but you can make it out alive.
You're, not a number or statistic you're a person, your a beautiful, Kind, incredible, wise person
spread some love and don’t forget what the late Freddie Mercury said,
Keep yourself Alive!
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eldritchsurveys · 5 years
Text
176.
part 6 of that weird long bzoink survey
Have you ever mowed the lawn? >> A couple of times long ago.
Do you get an allowence? >> No, I get an income.
Where do your parents work? >> ---
Did you ever know your great grandparents? >> No.
What does family mean to you? >> It doesn’t really mean anything to me. For all intents and purposes, Sparrow is the only person that counts as “family” because once we’re married that’s literally what we’ll be, legally. I have no connections to the people I’m blood-related to, and I’m not even interested in having “family” at this point because it’s been such a source of bullshit for me. I don’t even want “in-laws” lmao because her mother is always like “you’re part of the faaaaamily” meehehfhhhhhhh fuck that.
What does friendship mean to you? >> I don’t know. I’ve always had a hard time really understanding what a friend is supposed to be for me, which is partly how I ended up in so many bad friendships. I would like to be in a mutually beneficial friendship, but I’m really not sure how they work, and no one I’ve asked about it seems to have had any insight except, you know, “don’t be a dick”-type advice, which is largely general.
What does true love mean to you? >> Love is just behaviour, for me. A way of treating people that shows compassion, appreciation, and interest. I don’t really know any other way to think of it than that.
What's your favorite band/group/singer? >> I don’t know, man, I have a million.
What's your favorite movie? >> The Fountain. Also, Interstellar. Also, Sunshine.
TV show? >> I like a lot of tv shows, I don’t really have any stand-out ones.
What radio station do you listen to most often? >> I don’t listen to radio.
Do you get snow days often where you live? >> Yes, unfortunately.
Do you try to run from things that are bothering you? Does it work? >> I try to distract myself from things that I can’t do anything about, or feelings that aren’t productive. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Can you smell fear? >> I’m guessing not.
Would you ever pet a lion? >> If I had an opportunity and could guarantee not getting eaten, sure.
What's your favorite perfume? What's your favorite cologne? >> I like oils. Like from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.
What's your favorite overall smell? >> I don’t have one.
What's your favorite sign? (star, heart, rainbow, skull) >> I’m not sure.
Do you know how to play marbles? >> I didn’t know there was a specific game related to them.
Do you know how to play jacks? >> I do now, but when I had them as a child no one taught me that there was a game you’re supposed to play, so I kinda just fiddled around with them.
Do you know how to play poker? >> I’ve forgotten by now.
Tape or tacks? >> Depends.
Plastic, wood, or wire clothes hangers? >> I prefer wood, but they’re more expensive.
Do you have a light in your closet? >> There’s a light in the main bedroom’s closet.
Do you collect spare change lying around the house? >> No.
Do you like the taste of Tums? >> Not particularly, but it’s not terrible.
How about Pepto Bismol? >> I’ve never tasted it.
Do you have a fast or slow metabolism? >> I don’t know. I’m guessing it’s average.
Do you drink coffee? >> No.
Is the room you are in right now a mess? >> Not really.
When you slip and fall do you laugh it off or freak out? >> I definitely laugh. Especially if it seemed like it probably looked comical to an observer (which a lot of falls really do).
What is your definition of feaking out? >> I don’t know, there’s a lot of ways to freak out.
Have you ever played in a refridgerator box? >> Nope.
Do you still draw with chalk? >> Nah.
Have you ever finger painted? >> I don’t recall having done so, but who knows.
Have you ever had a pie in your face? >> No, thank god.
Ever bobbed for apples? >> No.
Ever hit a piniata? >> No.
Played pin the tail on the donkey? >> No.
Have you ever been on tv/the radio? >> I’ve been on television.
What's your favorite number? >> 9, or 19.
What's your favorite letter? >> V.
What's your favorite color?  >> Gold.
(>0.0)><(0.0<) <- Is that cute to you? >> Sure. Looks like two Kirbys.
What's your favorite onomatopoeia? (Crash, bang, zoom, meow) >> Hmm... zoom is fun.
Have you ever been fishing? Is it really all that much fun? >> I’ve never been. I figure it’s probably more relaxing than fun, but I wouldn’t actually know.
Ever been minurature golfing? >> Yeah.
Are you a tennis geek? >> No.
Computer geek? >> I don’t really consider myself any kind of ‘geek’.
Video game geek? >> ---
Anime geek? >> ---
D&D geek? >> ---
Are you one of those people who watch Naruto? >> “One of those people”, lol. Okay. Anyway, no, I don’t watch it.
Do you agree that even Pokemon is better than naruto? >> I really don’t have an opinion.
Ninjas or dinosaurs? >> Hm.
Do you watch stand up comedy? >> Sometimes.
What's your favorite tv network? >> I don’t know. I don’t usually watch regular television.
Do you have one night that you could play on repeat forever and ever? >> Nah, I’m good.
Is there one dream you wish you could just live through once? >> Any of the ones I’ve had about Idris Elba, lmfao.
Do you think people with a British accent are hot? How about Australian? Irish? >> I’m really attracted to the cadence of some Irish accents. A person still has to be otherwise attractive to me for me to be attracted to them, though; the accent isn’t going to override everything else.
What is your ethnic background? >> As far as I know, Black American, Native American, and Haitian.
Do you eat ramen? >> Sure.
How about microwavable pot pies? >> Not so much anymore, but I do like them.
What's your favorite topping on popcorn? >> I like kettle corn.
Sweet or regular pickles? >> Regular. Every time I think I want a sweet pickle, just one slice is enough.
Have you ever tried pickled eggs? >> No.
What's the grossest thing you've ever tasted? >> Whatever it is, I don’t remember it now.
Have you ever lied about your age? >> No.
Do you look your age? >> Apparently not.
What age do you look? >> According to people I’ve polled in random places over the past few years, I seem to look somewhere between 21 and 27 to most.
What kind of dreams do you have most often? >> I don’t know, anymore.
Do you even dream a lot at all? >> I’m not sure. I don’t remember upon awakening. I guess this is the tradeoff -- I haven’t had sleep paralysis in months, but I also feel really distant from my dreamself now.
What is the name of your favorite teacher of all time? >> ---
What is your mom's name? Dad's? >> ---
Do you have any siblings? If so what are their names?  >> ---
When was the last time you threw up? >> I don’t remember. Probably at Gardella’s like 6 months ago or whenever it was.
What's the worst part about throwing up? >> The anticipation, I guess.
What do you do for personal growth? >> *shrug*
Do you wear jewlery a lot? >> I’m usually wearing it.
Would you rather die burning or die freezing to death? >> I don’t know how either feels, so how could I really choose?
In other words do you prefer the hot or the cold? >> At this point in my life I prefer the heat, even with my sensitivity to it.
Do you really believe that in 2012 we're all gonna die? >> Oh, so that’s how old the survey is.
Where do you think the Mayans went? >> I’m sure there are anthropologists and paleontologists that have some idea about this.
Who do you think built the pyramids? >> The people that lived there at the time...? Is there evidence someone else did? Or just conspiracy theories, as always?
If you could read anyone's mind who would be the first person you'd read? >> No, thanks.
Who's your number one on your friends list? >> ---
Do you know what the word Mollycoddle means? >> Yeah.
Do you think it's cheating to put questions on here that aren't real Qs? >> No, I just delete them.
Have you ever been dizzy without spinning? >> Yeah.
Do you like to make yourself dizzy? >> No.
Do you agree that milk cold is the equivilent of butt warmth? >> What.
Do you believe that if you want something enough you'll get it? >> No, because there still needs to be some effort put in, not just really hard wishing. But I do think that desire can be motivation to put in that effort, so in that sense, sure, yeah.
Have you ever wished on a star? Did it ever come true? >> No.
Have you ever thrown a penny in a wishing well? >> No.
What was your favorite mall ride? (mini carousel, pony, helicopter) >> Hmm.
Do you take care of your cuticles? >> No, I just leave them alone (which is better than young!me, who used to pick at them constantly).
Do you even know what a cuticle is? >> Yeah.
Do you believe that everyone has a soul mate? >> No.
If you could keep any person in the world as your pet who would it be? >> LOL nah, I like my inworld pets best.
How would you treat them? >> How I’d treat a pet would be determined by both their desires and their limits, and my energy level lol.
Would you put them on a leash when you went out? >> No, because I think that’s kind of... uncouth. Doing that sort of thing in public, I mean. There are plenty of discreet ways to be kinky without having to like... advertise it like that.
How would you punish them when they were naughty? >> That depends on what was agreed upon.
Are these inappropriote questions? >> For many people, they certainly would be. I just happen to not care.
I'm sorry. Have you ever seen Scary Movie? >> I’ve seen #3, but that’s it.
Which is bigger? The Godfather or Star Wars? >> Er...
What are your views on the second Godfather movie? >> ---
It sucked I think. Anyway are you inbred? >> Well, no.
What's your favorite text word? (lol, wtf, brb, g2g) >> I don’t know.
PC or Mac? >> I use PC.
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Text
Okaayyyy, so! Apparently tumblr was being a shitforbrains again and didn't post my answers from a few days ago, so I'm gonna combine both get-to-know-me q&a's in one post! Sorry for the wait you guys.
1st set of q's was tagged by @legendarybitch 😘
Relationship status: Single AF
Favourite colours: Blue and green, hands down. I'm partial to he more vibrant blues and more earthy greens; especially hunter green with gold accenting. But it has to be a nice gold, not that yucky orangey-yellow some folks use
Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstiiiick! Anything else I get annoyed and scrape it off with my teeth
3 favourite foods: Oh god, I have to choose? I guess... Any pizza really though I have a weakness for deepdish (especially double cheese smothered in sriracha 😍), suicide hot wings (I want to choke on the fumes and feel like my face is melting), aannnnd a nice tender rare steak. You can't see it but I'm drooling now thx guys
Song stuck in my head: The Next Episode by Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg
Last song I listened to: Zombies by The Cranberries (the cover done by Bad Wolves is fucking bomb too)
Last movie I watched: Galaxy Quest (1999) Worth every goddamn penny
Top 3 tv shows: Tough call, but I think the closest would have to be Hannibal, Final Space, and Voltron: Legendary Defender
Books I'm currently reading: The Rowan by Anne McCaffrey and Burial Rites by Hannah Kent
Last thing I googled: Biomedical Technology
Time: 11:04pm
How many blankets do you sleep in: Primarily just my one big galaxy comforter
Dream trip: Phew, that one's a pretty tall order! About 9/10ths of my clan/extended familar are still in europe (mostly Germany and the Netherlands), so I'd like to be able to visit everyone! I haven't met most of them because of distance but we're all still very tightly knit accross continents. So a dream trip would somehow entail being able to get to visit everyone and possibly even go with my Oma before she can't fly anymore (she hasn't seen her sisters in many years). If somehow this all timed itself right so that I could also attend the Trakehner Verband approvals at Neumünster, I would legitimately weep with joy. My opa and I had always planned to go together as he hadn't been since immigrating to Canada, but now that he's passed I want to go for the both of us. It's a family legacy thing, I suppose. My second choice would be to visit either Spain or Portugal for a riding vacation 😍
Anything you really want: To have a prosperous and fulfilling life brimming with true friendship, laughter, and love.
2nd set of q's tagged by @vecchiasignoras 😙
Name: Kate, though I consider it to be quite intimate so only my immediate family calls me by this name. Everyone else refers to me as Kat
Height: 5'9"
Middle name(s): I have two! Their initials are E.M.
Put your music on shuffle. What are the first four songs that come on?
September by Earth, Wind & Fire
In the Middle by Jimmy Eat World
Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
Something Like This by The Chainsmokers
Bonus: Become the Beast by Karliene
Grab the book nearest you and turn to page 23. What is on line 17? (I counted them as the beginning/end of dialogue and whole sentences)
"She'll... she'll die! You know as well as I do," and Siglen's words crowded each other out of her mouth, "what happens to the truly Talented in space... I mean, look at how ill David became. Remember how devastated Capella was. To subject an infant... of unknown potential... to such mind-destroying trauma! Why you must be mad, Interior. You cannot! I will not permit it!"
Ever had a song or poem written about you? Not to my knowledge! Though the only thing they might draw inspiration from is how big my feet are lmao
When was the last time you played air guitar? Mmm, a few weeks I think? That Mötley Crüe riff was impossible to resist. As for a real guitar, I think it's going on almost 4 or 5 years now? Jesus time flies.
Who is your celebrity crush? They would have to be Tom Holland and Chris Hemsworth. I definitely have a thing for their personality type 😘
What's a sound you hate + a sound you love?
A sound I hate would 12/10 have to be my mother's voice, even just saying my name. It always sounds accusatory and condescending in the kind of way that's like nails on a chalkboard but under your skin. Also the sound of unexpected people WALKING UP ONTO MY PORCH AND KNOCKING ON THE DOOR INVADING MY SANCTUARY. (I loathe unannounced visitors. Hate hate hate them).
A sound that I love would hands down have to be the ambient noises my horse makes when he's just doing... whatever. When he's doing him-stuff. Slurping up electrolyte water like a messy kid, heaving these great big sighs because life amiright? I especially find his annoyed growling to be hilarious, because he is VERY loud and dramatic about it, but only does it when you ask him to do something relatively low effort that he finds tedious. Like flat work, or walking to and from the barn and paddock. Completely droll and lackluster. But going for a friendly gallop in the back field? You'd think we'd just gotten rallied by fucking Théoden to ride to our deaths at the Pelennor Fields. He makes this hard little growly-grunt when he shifts up into the next gear and then boom, you're gone. Just fucking gone. Then he's a happy springy boi. It isn't like his annoyed growling though; it's different. When he's annoyed it's more like verbal complaining; all in the throat. But when he revs it it's much shorter and takes on a hard edge. Comes up deep from the core. I can't really explain it any better than that. I just fucking love sprinting a 1700lbs war machine in general, now that I've re-learned how the hell to ride it 😂 I'm babbling now
Do you believe in ghosts? I believe in spirits and other things, yes.
How about aliens? We've only discovered and understand, what, 0.4% of the known universe? To not be widely open to and fully accepting of the notion that we are not alone would be pure folly. Even from a mathematical standpoint it would be wildly ridiculous not to. That doesn't mean I have any specific theories or "truths" about it, though. It would just be very stupid of me to be closed-minded.
Besides, if it does turn out to be true it would explain a lot of things. I think my favourite wild theory out there is that Mary, mother of Jesus, was artificially inseminated. Like we do with livestock. If nothing else it's fascinating to ponder the implications.
Do you drive? Yes. Pretty gutsy too, if I say so myself. My mum used to drag race so I guess it's both a hereditary as well as a learned thing.
If so, have you ever crashed? Only once, and that was an actual accident. The conditions were super icy so we were already going 20km below the limit, and I was hanging back, but what happened was the car infront of me hit the car infront of them, and when I slammed on the brakes I just slid about 15-20 feet right into their rear end anyways. Nobody got hurt except for my car; she took the worst of it. The car I hit basically just had to pop the dent back out and it was like I hadn't made contact. Lucky badstards. There were a ton of similar accidents that day so everything got wrapped up pretty quick.
What was the last book you read?
It's been so long since I've completed one, mostly because everything these days sucks ass, so I don't remember what it was. The ones I'm currently reading however are The Rowan by Anne McCaffrey and Burial Rites by Hannah Kent
Do you like the smell of gasoline? Clean, quality gasoline? Yes. Dirty low quality gasoline? No.
What was the last movie you saw?
Galaxy Quest (1999)
Do you have any obsessions right now? Not really, no. I mean, technically all things Bioware and my pony, but those are more of a glowering embers kind of love. Not the raging wildfire kind that overtakes the mind and turns you into a fanatic
Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
Eeeehhhhhh, yes and no. Like I won't actively hate you cause why tf would I waste the energy, so it's whatever, but I will also always keep you at arm's length so idk
Are you in a relationship? No, nor do I want to be. I'm enjoying just being on my own and allowing myself to grow as a person. I don't do relationships just for the sake of being in one, or because of this ridiculous notion people seem to have that you aren't complete/a whole person without a significant other. I'm only interested in end-game, and I'm not ready to be open for that right now ✌
Bonus: What's an annoying/bad habit that you have? Talking the shit out of everything. And I swear. A lot. More in my head than out loud, though.
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welldamnshawn · 7 years
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I do care about you // Shawn Mendes
can you write one based off of "Sorry Not Sorry" by Demi Lovato and it's like you and Shawn broke up and you ended up going to the club and it's hella angst pls and thank you :)))) 
Authors note: Its not exactly like the song because I got kind of side tracked and I’m sorry if you hate it and if its nothing like what you requested 
Authors note 2.0: GUESS WHO’S BACK AFTER LIKE 2 WEEKS OF DISAPPEARING?? its me in case you haven’t come to the conclusion. 
“You needed this.” Kylie tells me, holding the door open to the club for me.
“I do?” I ask hesitantly, my mood still in the dumps after my breakup with Shawn around 3 weeks ago.
“Yes,” She nods enthusiastically. “You’ve been moping around our flat for weeks and damn, Y/n, honey, Shawn is a jerk.” She holds my gaze, doing the best she could to cheer me up.
“You don’t need him. You are a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man to define who she is. Shawn is going to regret the day he left you. Right now however, you are going to hold your chin up high and walk in this club and find some cute guy and down a couple shots.” I giggle, nodding at her words. She loops her arm with mine and we walk straight to the bar, ordering drinks to start as off.
“Thats it!” Kylie cheers as I finish my first drink. I don’t know whether it was because I hadn’t drunk alcohol in quite a while or because I hadn’t been out the house since the breakup, but I downed the next two without thinking. Usually I was a reserved drinker yet tonight I had the urge to cover my sadness with alcohol.
“Lets dance,” I call to Kylie, dragging her over to the dance floor. The lights were flashing, the music so loud that I just let all my thoughts flow out my head. My mind was completely blank. 
“Thanks for taking me out tonight, you were right I did need this.” I shout to her as we both dance to the current song.
“No problem Y/n, Did I tell you your dress looks amazing? Seriously whoever made you wear that has brilliant taste.” 
I laugh, taking another sip of my drink.
“You were the one who made me wear it.” I roll my eyes jokingly and she raises her eyebrows at me.
“And I’m glad I did- I mean, look at all the attention you’re getting.” Her eyes slide past to behind where I’m standing and I look over my shoulder to see two guys standing against the wall, eyes on us.
“What do I do?” I ask, panic seeping through my words. “I haven’t approached a guy since Shawn and that was two years ago.” I whisper sharply.
“Relax, Honey, just be you. Go fill your drink.” Kylie nudges me to the bar and I stumble over, placing my glass on the counter where the bartender grabs it and begins filling it again. He hands it back to me and I turn back to the dance floor when one of the guys catch my eye, waving me over.
I walk over hesitantly, a blue light illuminating their faces. They’re all sharp jaw lines and high cheekbones. Both wearing all black, I found them alluring. 
“What’s happening?” The man on the left asks me, sending me a wink and even in the dark lighting my cheeks burn.
“Not much, I only just got here.” I reply, my hands slightly shaking from nerves.
“Lucky enough you met us and we,” he nods to his friend. “We are going to make your night so much better.” The right guy tells me, taking a step forward and soon I find myself edging back to the dance floor.
I catch Kylie's eye from across the room and she laughs at my confused expression. I wasn’t expecting two guys to go after me at the same time.
A hand on my chin catches my attention and my gaze flicks from Kylie’s face to dark eyes of one the guys. 
He tilts my chin up and just as it looks like he’s about to kiss me, I’m wrenched out of his grip.
“Hey Sweetie, come on the cab is here.” Shawn nearly growls, sending me a fake smile. Still in shock, I can’t seem to process who’s standing in front of me.
“Bro she said she just got here.” One of the boys tries to step forward but Shawn sends them a menacing glare and he backs off. “Another?” He proposes to the other and they both walk away to the other side of the club. 
“What are you doing?” I ask, voice shrill. Realization has finally sunk in. 
“What am I doing? What are you doing? Two guys Y/n?” Shawn shouts, drawing eyes our way and I feel blood flood my cheeks.
“Can you not say it that loudly? It wasn’t like I was going to do anything.” I look away from his eyes. 
“Say what loudly? That you were going to hook up with two men?” 
“I don’t know what I was going to do.” I glare at the wall, ignoring his gaze.
“Exactly, you don’t know. You didn’t think about how much danger you could have been in.”
“Can you just stop Shawn!” I scream, not that it made that much of a difference in a club. “You’re not my boyfriend anymore, I don’t care what you think about my decisions and you can’t go telling me what I can and can’t do.”
He’s silent. His piercing eyes locked on my face, my rage burning beneath my skin so that my whole body felt hot.
“They could have raped you.” He says quieter. 
“And you would care? So let me get this straight, You can care about me now that we’re broken up but if we were together you wouldn’t give a shit what happened to me?” I hiss at him, gulping the rest of my drink and pressing the cup against Shawn’s chest as I walk past him. He grabs it just as I let go but I’ve already walked away, intent on leaving the now overbearing club. 
“Y/n wait.” He says, the door slamming back open and his voice is loud in the quiet street.
“Don’t talk to me Shawn, you never cared before so why do you care now?” the words felt sharp to say and I felt tears prick my eyes. 
An overwhelming sense of nausea hits me and I’m heading to the side of the street in seconds. 
“Oh baby,” Shawn murmurs, stroking back my hair into a makeshift ponytail as I threw up into the gutter.
“Don’t touch me,” I groan as I wipe my mouth, pushing away from his grip.
‘Y/n, sweetie,” He says softly but I glare at him. 
“I don’t need your help Shawn go home.” As soon as I finish my sentence I’m throwing up and his hands are back holding my hair out of my face.
“Baby let me take you back home.” Shawn pleads, sweeping my hair up into a loose pony tail with a hair tie that was around his wrist- conveniently one of mine that I must have left at his house.
“Fine.” I say, trailing behind him as we walk to his car. He holds the door open for me and I hop in silently. He gets in the drivers seat, turning the engine on.
“Seat belt.” He tells me and I roll my eyes, doing the buckle up.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” I say weakly. 
“Can you stop fighting me for one second, please?” Shawn asks, pulling out onto the street.
“No, I cant.” I say firmly, my eyes starring out the window at the passing buildings.
“I really don’t want our conversati-”
“Can you shut up Shawn?” Venom coats my words, Shawn falling silent immediately. 
It only lasts a minute until he’s talking again.
“Would you really have gone home with those guys?” He sounds vulnerable, scared almost- of my answer. Of course I don’t take any notice.
“You mean go home with two extremely hot fella’s who took an interest in me? Oh yeah.” I tell him, grinning wickedly. I turn away, missing the fallen expression on Shawn’s face. When I look back, its masked.
“I thought so.” He says lowly and I glare. 
“I don’t know how its any of your business. You didn’t care before so why should you now.” 
“Stop saying that Y/n!” Shawn shouts and his voice has more of an affect now that we were in a quiet place. He turns left, the road leading to our old flat- my flat now.
“Saying what? That when we were together you couldn’t give two flips about my life unless it involved you?” I say back just as loud. “’Shawn my mum is on the phone’. What response to I get?” I pause, waiting. “I’m busy, tell her I said hi. Oh but Shawn she really wants to talk to- No I’m busy, go away, this is music stuff.” I imitate the conversation that happened when we were together.
“You know I was under pressure at work.” He whispers, pulling to a stop.
“She’s my Mum Shawn. She’s getting old. She’s not going to be around forever and I only wanted you to have a 5 minute conversation with her. She likes talking to you.” My own tone is soft as well. 
“I’m sorry I missed one phone call with your Mum,” There’s a slight edge to his voice.
“I guess we’re doing this now?” I ask, running my hands over my bare arms to try and keep warm in the chilly air of his car.
“I guess we are.” Shawn mumbles.
“It wasn’t just that Shawn. We would be having dinner and I’d ask you about your day and as soon as you finished you would never ask me about my day and if you finished eating you would leave- even if I’m in the middle of a story.” He doesn’t answer.
“It hurts to feel like your boyfriend doesn’t even care about you.” I whisper, staring out the window, the glass foggy.
“I do care about you Y/n.” Shawn says softly, reaching out for my hand. I let him rest his palm over my hand. I stay still for a moment, reveling in the feel of having Shawn by my side again but I quickly push the feeling down. I pull my hand away from his and open the car door, unbuckling my seat belt and getting out the car.
Just as I’m about to shut the door I meet his hopeful eyes- the hope I’m about to crush. “You only care because I’m not yours anymore.” 
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we-work-hard · 7 years
Text
Green: Part One
Pairing: Early 20s AJ Styles x 45 year old Shane McMahon (he hasn’t come back to WWE in this fic)
Summary: Shane keeps being drawn back to visiting the NXT Performance Center by one of the wrestlers who catches his eye...
Notes: This is a prequel to Room 117 (which is here and here, if you want to give it a try), trying to flesh out how AJ and Shane got into that room together. I looked into how the PC works, a little, but forgive me for what I’ve got wrong. Twink AJ is brought to you mainly by this vid of him with Vince Russo in early TNA, and this screenshot of his ass at CWF. Also, MY NEVER-ENDING THIRST FOR HIS YOUNG BODY
Warnings: Age difference, mention of religion, adultery, typos probably
Tagging: Peeps who were nice about Room 117 or other fics I’ve tried (I might have tagged completely wrong, and some peeps who’ve left, or changed their name, or some NetBots too, IDEK XD) – thank you for being kind to this strange one who’s still feeling this place out (as ever, if you ain’t into this malarkey/slash in general, please do ignore it – I’ll still love you)  @llowkeys @omegaweaponx @scriptor @cruxcantare  @your-darkdiva @osanabria2377 @stylessection @cookiemonster2017 @princessgailr-blog @castielscamander @secretagentfangirl @artemisapalla316 @loveambrylayn @the-geekgoddes @tvrnbvckle @kingslayers-angel @unabashedwwesmut @toosweetme @immalittledinosaur01 @tyler0graves @wrestlingbabe @wweconfidential @aintnopartymd @secretagentfangirl @blondekel77 @missmcmahon @wycliffegordon @imlivinthebilife @xepa123 @idle-vanity @alexahood21 @mylittlepartofthegalaxy
Green
The first time Shane sees him, he’s sitting back at the end of the locker room and strapping his legs up, laughing with the guys around him. Shane’s surprised by how young he is compared to the other wrestlers trying out this week. Everyone else has long hair, or beards, tattoos, and that grumpy arrogance that seeps in after working the smaller shows for a few years. But this one’s more like a high school jock, or a frat boy; all-American, with blue eyes and lightly-tanned skin, a big smile.
“So here they are – what do you think, Shane? See any that might make it?” Matt asks jovially, bringing him further into the room to see the boys they have in to train, trying to get a contract at the Performance Center. The chatter dies down as the men start to notice who’s walked in with the head trainer – a McMahon, no less. Shane doesn’t really want the attention or the sucking up that will follow, so nods at the guys confident enough to look up at him while trying to keep his eyes off that kid in the back that looks so out of place here. He hasn’t noticed him, busy laughing at something the guy next to him has said, throwing a rolled-up sports sock at his head.
“Still got a good eye, I see,” Matt says quietly. “That one’s up from Gainesville. Worked a bunch of Indy shows, and some little Podunk Christian promotion in Texas. Green, but solid. We’re expecting good things from him.”
“How old is he?” Shane notes his snubbed nose and spiky brown hair, the gold cross hanging from his neck. He’s young, but his white and black gear looks old and rough around the edges, like he can’t afford new. His smile is slightly crooked.
“Old enough to be here. Come on, I’ll show you where they train now.”
Just before Shane turns around, the boy looks up and catches his eye, seeming a little startled to see him there. He straightens his mouth out, sits up, and gives a firm nod from across the room. It’s respectful, like how a military kid would do it. Shane smiles and nods back before he goes, raising his eyebrows in curiosity. The boy quirks his mouth in response, then looks back down to adjust his shin-pads, taking a deep breath.
Shane suddenly hopes to himself that the young one from Gainesville will do well this week.
***
The second time Shane sees the kid, he’s standing with his back to him in one of the training rings the next day, getting ready for drills with the other potential recruits. He’s kicking his legs out, warming them up while talking to the guy next to him, suddenly crouching to a squat and pulling himself back up to jump from one foot to the other. He stands out even more among the more grizzled wrestlers now they’re in the ring together.
Shane takes a seat to watch them train, keeping inconspicuous. Even though he hasn’t worked in this company for years, people will always know who he is – he can’t escape that. The good thing about that – the staff here will always let Shane in, even though he’s got nothing much to do with the company anymore. He’s down here in Orlando for his own business interests this week, not to get back into his father’s. He’s been telling himself that all morning. Yet here he is, in front of a wrestling ring again. He doesn’t really know why.
“Alright guys! Let’s get this thing rolling, okay? Sal, come over here a second.”
The trainer takes one of them over to a corner to show him how to throw himself back into the turnbuckle. Shane lets his eyes go where they want.
The young one’s showing an older guy how he takes a punch, getting him to feint a throw, then slapping him on his side to get the cracking sound as he swings. Shane listens hard to catch his voice amongst all the noises in the training room, hearing a thick Southern twang on “I c’n do that all day”. Shane didn’t expect such a thick accent to come out of him, and smiles to himself. From over here, he can pick up on the fact the older guy – dyed black hair in a pony tail, tattooed along his arms – is slightly irked at the advice coming from someone with less experience. The older one offers to show the boy how he does it, slowly leading him into taking an uppercut to the chin, and giving him a stiff cuff to the top of his head to get the sound. The boy doesn’t flinch in his arms at the hit, but just says “Oh, okay, uh huh – wanna see how I do it for a super-kick?”
Shane’s charmed by his gentle pushing back, watching him feign being kicked and lifting his leg up smoothly to slap it while the other wrestler looks at him wryly. He ends up watching their drills for an hour or so, seeing the young man throw himself off of the turnbuckle and whip off of the ropes over and over again – faster than the others and more openly happy to be there. His body is full of energy, well-muscled but not easily tired – Shane can see the strength in it, how he holds himself. He has full control of every limb, every movement clean and quick. But he’s short compared to the others. That’s not going to help him here.
“AJ! Faster, faster – I know you’re only giving me half of what you’ve got! Anthony, I’m sick of your complacency!” 
The guys all laugh at the trainer’s ribbing as they take turns to run, and now Shane knows his name – AJ. And as he gets up to sneak back out, AJ’s eyes catch his movement and he pauses to watch him go. Shane stops to look back at him, expectantly. This time, AJ gives a big grin straight away, still kicking his legs. Shane smiles right back on reflex, as a bigger guy (they’re all bigger guys) snakes his arm around AJ’s neck and pretends to throttle him. He leaves them to it; telling himself to get back to what he came to Orlando for, not waste more time here. This isn’t his world anymore. He can’t let it draw him back in.
***
But the next day, he finds himself returning to the PC after a business meeting runs short – deciding he’ll catch up with Matt again and bend his ear over lunch. And that’s when he gets his third look at the boy – AJ sitting at a table a few across from him with a group, wolfing down a big plate of food and looking up occasionally to add something to the conversation and cackle.
Matt catches him looking.
“How’s he doing?” Shane nods over to the group.
“The Jones boy? Doing great, getting on well with everyone. Eager to learn. I think a few of the more world-weary guys are a little irritated by him, though.”
“Yeah, I noticed a bit of that yesterday,” Shane says, turning his fork to cut at his food.  
“Oh, you snuck yourself in again, huh?” Matt smirks, wiping his face with a napkin and settling back in his chair to look at Shane. “Feeling the old itch? We could use you here, you know.”
“I’m sure Hunter would be happy with me encroaching on his turf – that’s a great idea, Matt.” He looks down and runs his fork across his plate, thinking about why he’s here. “No, I’m just... it’s interesting to see guys at the start of their careers. I don’t know, maybe I miss it a little. Hanging out with people backstage, working on the matches. It’s been a long time.”
“Never too late to come back.”
“Hmm.”  
“I better get back to it – you good here? Fancy coming back to look at some of the footage from today?”
“Nah, I’ll just sit here a while and then head out – you go.”
“I’ll see you back here tomorrow?” Matt says, stroking his beard and smirking.
Shane laughs. “Uh, maybe.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you here tomorrow,” Matt says with a knowing grin, pushing himself back from the table and taking his tray with him.
Shane looks up again and catches AJ watching him this time, his face looking softly curious across the room. When he’s caught, he gives a small smile, quickly checks around the room and looks back to poke his tongue out. Shane lets out a bark of laughter and returns AJ’s smile, before poking his tongue out back at him. AJ crosses his eyes, but Shane can’t do that, so he shakes his head in fake-reproach, crossing his arms. AJ sticks his bottom lip out in a parody of apology, and then Shane apes it, leaning forward over his table. AJ shakes his head and quietly sniggers. They both look away for a second, but their eyes come back together somehow.  
And that’s when Shane realises he’s enjoying this way too much, and the reason he keeps coming back to the Performance Center. And he’s terrified.  
***
Shane keeps away after that. Four days. Four days of thinking about that boy, trying not to think about that boy. Wondering why this is happening now when he’s had 45 years of being heterosexual, never having a thought about other men. Happy with his wife, with his kids. His eye always straying to women when he looks, never men. And certainly not a man half his age. Not a man; a boy, he has to remind himself.  
But he thinks about that boy at the Performance Center every night when he’s alone with this thoughts in the dark, no distractions. And he has to go back.
***
Shane tries to keep his voice calm and casually curious, not freaked when he rushes into the monitor room to find Matt. “Where’s the Jones kid, I haven’t seen him with the others – is he hurt, out sick today?”
Matt turns around in his chair where he’s sitting in front of the bank of screens, feeding in a live stream from the rings.
“Ah, yeah, Shane; that sucks. He didn’t make the cut – heading home.”
What? Shane tries to calm himself down and not look like he’s panicking. “What the hell happened, he was the best of the bunch.”
“Not on promo, he wasn’t – higher-ups didn’t like him. Pump your breaks, come and take a look at this a second, I’ll show you.”
Shane takes deep breaths and tries to get control of himself while Matt leans forward to tap at the keyboard, pulling up a series of videos. He presses play on ‘Allen Neal Jones – WrestleMania Promo’.
“This is the chance of a lifetime, to finally have the chance to make it on the biggest stage in sports entertainment...”
Shane leans forward to watch, heart sinking. On screen, AJ is nervous, wooden and folksy – not the sweet and cocky mix Shane’s seen in the flesh this week. Shane’s frustrated with how this has turned out – this can be worked on if given a chance, he knows it can. This can’t be right, this isn’t right.
“Okay, so,” Shane swallows, still struggling to sound normal and unaffected, “Haven’t we given guys a chance before without a good promo? All the guys pushed up to the main roster who can’t string a fucking sentence together? His in-ring work outshone anyone here in this group, Hunter couldn’t see that?”
“Really got a soft spot for this kid, huh?” Matt says with a twinkle in his eye. “Yeah, I did too. He’s a good boy – I could see that. But he’s not right for us.”
Shane starts shaking his head, and Matt puts a hand up to stop him. “Shane. I feel bad for him – he’s got talent. But where’s the charisma, where’s the promo? What kind of gimmick can we put on him? He’s cute, but he’s small. Will the girls like him? Will the guys? I don’t know. Not for us, Shane – that,” he pauses to point at AJ on the screen, “is not WWE. And you know it.”
“Okay, alright,” Shane sighs, nodding. “I just think the idea of what a ‘Superstar’ is is wrong sometimes, that’s all. Where is he now, you sent him home already; he’s gone?”
“Ah, yeah... there’s an issue with that,” Shane raises his eyebrows, in hope... “His plane home got cancelled. Got another arranged for first thing tomorrow. I offered to book him a hotel room for the night, but he said he’ll crash with one of the other guys from the locker room, won’t take the extra hand out from us.”
“Why would he trust you with that? Why would he trust this place at all? You just shot his dream out of the sky, I bet...” Shane says, wondering if he can find him somehow. 
“See, now you’re just making me feel bad.”
“Sorry, Matt – I just can’t fucking believe this company sometimes.”
“Boy’s probably still in the locker room packing up – you might be able to catch him, offer your condolences... a bounce on your knee, or a tickle under the chin.”
Shane ignores Matt’s attempt to lighten the situation up, his pulse starting to race at the thought he could still catch AJ. Though he can’t think what he’ll do if he does.
“I’m sure he doesn’t want to be any more upset by this place than he already has been – catch you later, Matt.”
“See ya. Oh, Shane?”
Shane stops at the door, trying not to curse.
“Don’t let him cut one of those hellacious promos on you if you find him...”
“You’re an asshole, Matt.” Shane says with a tight smile, trying not to run out of the room.
***
The locker room – will he still be there? Does it really matter if he isn’t? What’s Shane planning to do – offer him a hug? Set up a rival wrestling federation just for him? He doesn’t know, he just... needs to see the boy again, tell him... tell him to keep going, that it’ll work out.  
But the locker,room, when he gets there, has no AJ in it. Other guys are around, nodding their hellos to him before turning back to each other to talk. But no AJ sitting at the end of the room. His locker is empty and hanging open – no spare socks to throw, no beat-up ring gear, no crucifix; no sign he’d ever been here. Shane finds himself reaching down to touch the bench, thinking about what the hell he’d have said if he’d found him.
I couldn’t stop looking at you this week. I think you have a good heart. I’m a married man with kids, but I loved watching you, and I loved you watching me, too – I don’t know why. Will you stay, catch my eye some more, smile at me?
“That kid’s outside.”
Shane turns around, jumping at being caught all morose in front of the empty locker.
“Uh, what?”
One of the others trying out – the tall guy with the black ponytail  – knows where AJ is.
“The kid – AJ? He’s outside. Was asking if he could crash with any of us tonight. But we don’t have room. Not even for someone that small.” The guy he’s standing with lets out a mean laugh, undoing his wrist tape.
He gives Shane a sharp look. “You asking him to stay?”
“Maybe. He was good – I noticed him teaching you some things...”
The guy’s face turns sour, bitter. He puffs himself up.  
“Doubt there’s much he can teach me – unless being an irritant is something you can teach now. He’s out there waiting for his little friends to come back with food so he can wrangle his way into their room – no doubt he’ll manage to steal one of their beds for the night, bat his little fool eyelashes at ‘em.” He seems to remember who he’s talking to when Shane narrows his eyes.
“He’s outside if you want to catch him, Mr Mahon.”
“Right. Good. Best of luck here, boys – I hope you do well.”
“Thank you, Sir.” They both grumble, turning back to their lockers.
Shane rushes out into the corridor and heads to the front of the building, hoping he’ll catch AJ, just to talk, that’s all. Especially if those idiots in there have upset him. Upset him? AJ can look after himself, Shane’s brain tells him. But his heart tells him AJ is alone, and probably heartbroken right now. And too proud to really ask for the help he needs. He needs more than a room.
And Shane is not the appropriate person to give him that... but he’s still jogging over to the boy he finds sitting on a bench outside, his bag by his feet.
“AJ,” he says, out of breath. He clears his throat and tries again. “AJ – you okay?”
AJ flinches out of his thoughts and looks up, blinking in surprise.
“Holy frick, it’s you... You know my name?”
Shane lets out a laugh in relief at finding him in time, and at the language. He feels light-headed to finally be talking to him. 
“Of course I know your name, Allen Neal Jones – you know mine?”
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starryfictionalgirl · 7 years
Text
Partner’s in (Fighting) Crime: Chapter 5: Shatter Me (Dragonfly’s Origin Part 1)
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Masterlist Partner’s in (Fighting) Crime
Relationships: Peter Parker x fem!hero!reader, Michelle x reader (best friends)
Warnings: Reader’s father tries to harm her.  
A/N: Hey guys! So we're about to get the reader's hero origin in this story! Yay! There's not going to be any Peter x reader stuff in this part but there will be some in the next, albeit a bit small. But I really hope you enjoy this origin story and there's going to be about two chapters about it.This first one deals with how you got your powers and the next part which I will write tomorrow is about how you became a hero and goes back to the present with you and Michelle and Peter will make an appearance in the end of that part! Sorry about the long A/N but I just wanted to explain what the plan for these next two parts is. I hope you enjoy!
"You're the dragonfly..." Michelle repeats softly.
"No I'm not." You tried to lie, but whenever you were nervous your wings fluttered, drawing more attention to the fact you had wings.
"You're standing right in front of me with wings and you just flew in the window do you think I'm stupid?" Michelle exclaims and you rush over and try to quiet her.
"Keep your voice down I don't want happy to hear!" You whisper shout.
"He doesn't know does he?" She asks and you nod.
"No one does. Except for you now...." You admit and she sits down on your bed. "I'm guessing you have a lot of questions?"
"No I just found out my best friend has dragonfly wings, super strength and is a lot more badass with a sword than I thought, I'm totally fine." Michelle says sarcastically and goes to pick her book up off the ground.
"Come on MJ..." You sigh and sit down next to her. "I know when my best friend is mad at me."
"Are you even my best friend anymore?" She asks. "I mean you're so different from the girl I knew last year. Not only were you more confident, but you've gotten a lot prettier, and you've been too busy to hang out with me and I'm guessing it's because of this." She gestures to your suit and wings. "But your whole personality is different. You're not so shy and fragile, it's like you're not afraid of the world anymore. How did all of this happen?" You sighed.
"You want my origin story?" You ask her. She nods.
"Okay then." You tell her, and proceed to explain to her the story of how you became the girl you were today.
It started out as a normal day. You put on a turtleneck and jeans to go to school. Even though it was starting to get warm out you wanted to wear clothes that covered your body. You were extremely insecure about it. Not just for how it looked, but because of the bruises and scars that graced your skin as well from your father's drunken attacks on your person. You stayed close to Michelle in school and dared not get too close to anyone. She knew what your situation was like at home, and that it had been going on for some time now and that you should get help. But the thing is, getting help can be hard. Even though you were almost fifteen, you were still a kid. Neither of you knew what to do. After school you walked home with Michelle and stopped by her house which was on the way home from yours.
"See you tomorrow Y/N!" She calls to you.
"S-see you tomorrow MJ!" You call back softly and tense your shoulders and look nervously left and right, wondering if anyone heard you and was about to yell at you. After assuring you were safe you turned and continued to go on your way home alone.
You pushed your glasses up your face and tried to bury yourself in your turtleneck so that you couldn't see the world around you. But unfortunately on your way home you noticed something bad. There were some sketchy looking people and they seemed to notice you, and how scared you looked. As soon as they smiled in your direction you took off down a side road to your right and ran behind the buildings as fast as you could. You weren't even sure if these thugs were really thugs or not or if they were following you, you just wanted to get away from them as fast as you could. You didn't want to be too close to people, especially not strangers. You couldn't trust anyone. That was the lesson you had learned in life. No matter what, someone you're supposed to trust will ultimately end up hurting you.
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You finally stopped running when you felt like you were about to fall over, and you did. Your jeans and turtleneck were making your body too hot. You were overheating. You had collapsed by a sidewalk by a river in what appeared to be some sort of suburban neighborhood. You took some deep breaths and slowly rolled your shirt up your torso, exposing your stomach and back to try to make your body feel colder and less suffocated and you put your hair up in a high pony tail to get your hair off of your neck. Then you started to cry.
"Why?" You sobbed and buried your face in your hands. "Why am I so scared of the world? Why can't I be brave like everyone else? Why am I so weak? I just want a family that won't hurt me, and be able to be a better friend to MJ to repay for being so kind to me. I just want to be accepted and loved is that too much to ask?" You look up and see a dragonfly hovering in flight above you like they normally do.
But there was something different about this one. It was hard to see in the sunlight, but it had a faint glow around it. It flew towards you, slowly as if it was offering you it's help. You reached your hand out to it, willing to accept it. You were desperate and delusional at this point. How on Earth could a dragonfly help you? But nevertheless you begged for it to help you.
"I wish I had wings like you. I could fly into the sky, so high up no one would ever find me. And quick as well, so they can't catch me and chain me down like I am now. I wish I was strong enough to break these bars on my cage. I want to believe that I'll do these things someday but without someone's help I never will. You're the only one that can help me. So if you can, just please..." You broke down crying again because it missed your hand and flew over your head.
It had abandoned you in your time of need. Just like everyone else in your life. You cried more. Then you felt  something on your back. Before you had time to register what it was, you felt a sharp pinch like something bit you.
"Ouch!" You yelped and turned around to see what bit you, but it was just the dragonfly. "You bit me? Of course you did. Whenever I ask my dad for help on something all he does is hit me. So when I ask you for help all you do is bite me!" You scoff and pick yourself up, pulling your turtleneck back down and continue on your way home.
But along the way you felt dizzy.  Something wasn't right. The pain in the back from your bite wasn't going away either. In fact, it felt like it was just getting worse. You dreaded the walk up your front steps, knowing that you were home late and that meant a beating from your father. With a shaky hand you opened the door and looked inside. It seemed like he wasn't home. Thank goodness. You just might get a break today. You smiled and walked towards the stairs to go to your room and hopefully sleep whatever this was off, then suddenly you were hit in the back of your head by your dad's fist. You fell forward and landed on the ground. Your head was spinning. You could barely make out the image of the room in front of you. The pain in your back was almost becoming unbearable and it felt like something was trying to come out. But oddly enough you didn't feel much pain from your father's blow.
"You were late!" He spat at you and you turned to look up at him. "Where have you been? And why is your hair up in a ponytail. You know you're not supposed to wear those." He asks and you didn't know what it was, but you felt a fire surge through you, like an anger you had always kept repressed was waking up. You pushed yourself up and turned to face him.
"I was being chased." You tell him. Your father's eyes widen. You never spoke back when he attacked you. But for some reason now you did. "I got lost and fell down. And a bug bit me and it really hurts. I think it might be making me sick. I'm wearing my hair up because I was suffocating and I needed to get it off of my neck." You groan and try to sit up.
"How dare you talk back to me!" He roars and his fist comes towards you but you grab it and hold it in place. He looks stunned and starts shaking.
Your eyes widened. You were barely even trying to hold him back. How had you suddenly become so strong? You started to stand up and looked him dead in the eye. You looked at the marble countertop that was next to you from the kitchen island. you gripped it and then tore a piece off like it was nothing. Your heart soared, had your wish been granted? Was this really happening? Your dad kicked you hard in the stomach and your landed on your already sensitive back. You groaned and cried.
"Your going to pay for that young lady!" He yells at you. "How dare you damage my property!"
"How dare you damage mine?" You growl at him. He laughs.
"What do you own?" He sneers. "You've got nothing, you're worth nothing! You're my property like everything else in this house so I can do what I want with you!"
You picked up your legs and pushed with them, jumping up and landing nimbly on the floor in front of your father. You needed to get your shirt off, it was starting to feel too tight and the thing on your back felt like it was growing.
"All you do is restrict me but not anymore!" You yell and tear your shirt in two, taking it off, leaving you topless except for your bra.
All of a sudden that pressure in your back felt relieved and your dad looked terrified and screamed and stumbled backwards towards the door. You looked to your side and noticed a clear, long wing rounded at the tip. Your heart started racing, you looked to your left and noticed another one.
"I have wings..." You breathe out shakily.
What was happening to you? Were you turning into a dragonfly? Would you sprout appendages and stuff too? Would you become a giant bug! You started panicking but then you calmed when you realized that the rest of you felt completely normal. You felt just like you always had. So whatever about you that had changed must have been all that was going to change. You relaxed a bit from that thought.
"You're a freak. I always knew you were!" Your father yelled at you. You turned sharply towards him, and gave your wings a few test flaps to see if you could move them. You could. "Why did I get stuck having a worthless daughter like you?"
"What do you mean by 'have'?" You ask and tilt your head, confused.
"Put your shirt back on! No one wants to see you you're disgusting!" Your father yells at you.
"I'm going to keep it off! In fact, I'm going to wear whatever the hell I want!" You yell at him.
He runs at you and tries to attack you but you scream and grab him and throw him over your shoulder. He groans as he hits the ground hard. He looks back up at you, terrified.
"You don't own me." You say softly, remembering an old song your mother used to like before she died. Your father realized what you were doing and roared and the two of you started fighting.
You fluttered your wings to see if you could fly up but instead flew forward surprisingly hit the wall on the other end of the house. You groaned and stood back up. You must be able to fly fast like a dragonfly. You remembered in science you had learned that dragonflies could fly at speeds up to 40 or 60 miles per hour. You must be able to do the same. You had broken a chair in your fall. You picked up the broken chair leg and swung it at your father as he ran towards you, it broke on his head and he fell to the ground. You gasped and looked down at him. He wasn't moving. Had you done it? Had you finally broken free?
Soon you emerged from your house and looked up at the twinkling stars in the night sky. Time seemed like it had gone by so fast. You may have lost the last fifteen years of your life but now you had all the rest ahead of you. You tried fluttering your wings again and you let out a little shriek of happiness as you flew into the air, above the trees, above buildings, up so far that no one could bring you down. You looked down at the photo in your hands. It was a school picture of you, who you used to be. A girl who was scared and always wanted to hide. You frowned at it.
"I'm not going to be you anymore." You tell your old self and fly over a lake and with one last look at your old self you tore it and dropped it into the water below you. "She's so gone..." You say to yourself and fly away.
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A/N: I got inspired by the songs Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling and She’s So Gone by Naomi Scott. I’d recommend listening to them, they’ll enhance the reader’s origin story for you! :) As usual please give me feedback! 
Tags: @johnsonxstilinski @emilyinwonderland3 @dailyavenging @slythergirlimagines
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