#i don't think i've really thought about what i really want...? there's so much things that are fucking holding me back.

[lowkeyerror]

The Family Business Ch.12

WandaNat x Reader

Word count: 2.7k

Ch. Notes: It's a converstion so dialouge heavy, non-sexual nudity

Summary: Natasha and Wanda reveal their feelings.

An: Ok... ok late again, but tell me it's not worth the wait. (Please don't) Hopefully you love it because it's 2:25am but I'm still doing this for yall and yes if everything goes right new ch. on Monday

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Wanda couldn’t look at you when she was speaking. You could see she was trying to find the words, but you didn’t know how to help her.

Natasha knowing what her wife is trying to say tries to take over.

“ Before I met you I was a little jealous. Seeing the love of my life light up talking about someone who was quite literally thousands of miles away, was a hard pill to swallow. I haven’t known you as long as Wanda, but I can see now why she had always spoken so highly of you.”

You want to interrupt the red head and say anything back to her, but you don’t. They had said they wanted to tell you everything before you spoke so you intended to let them.

“When Papa sent me away, I resented him for it. It was a great opportunity and a show of good faith, but I was angry with him because I didn’t want to leave you here. I thought we had grown quite close, little krolik. You were the best part of all my days. So much so that even thousands of miles away I couldn’t shut up about you. Even after I fell in love, you’d always find a way into my mind,” Wanda plays with her wedding ring as she speaks.

You look between the two woman silently urging them to continue.

“I’ve been many places, lived many lives, and have met many people, but I've never met anyone like you. There’s this light inside you that you keep so close to your chest. I can feel it behind all the walls you put up. I see it in how intensely you care about your family and I admire it. I admire you,” Natasha isn’t scared to take your hand in hers.

Wanda continues, “It’s hard not to admire you. If Natasha has seen it in these few months, it’s safe to say I’ve always seen it. I saw it before you put all these walls up, when you let it be known to everyone. I think that’s what startled me so much when I came home. I felt like a soldier come home from war to see his home was no longer his.”

The woman begins to get emotional. You reach out your other hand for her to take, not knowing what else to do.

“When I saw Wanda interact with you for the first time, I felt something. It wasn’t jealousy or hatred or anything like that. It was this overwhelming warmth. Seeing her hold you as if you’d disappear, seeing her smile as big as our wedding day, it made me happy,” Natasha recounts.

Wanda sighs, “When we were in my old room at the dinner I was terrified. I thought you were going to tell me the same thing everyone else had when it came to you, but you didn’t. You held me, dried my tears, and I think things really started to fall into place for me then.”

“I met Wanda when she was technically on a job. She was leading and in charge of operations. I had seen her get angry or upset on multiple occasions, but I don’t know if I ever saw her as mad as that night. I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears when she had Pietro against the wall. As far as I knew, I was the only one who could calm her down, but then you did it like it was second nature.”

You speak quietly, “She’s always had a temper.”

You think the woman will roll her eyes, but she doesn’t, “I have and you have always been there to calm me down. I don’t know how to say this, Y/n. When I met you, you were just my little brother’s best friend, but then you became my friend and then a part of my family. You were so delicate back then, you weren’t even 18 for Christ sake.”

Natasha tries to help her wife find her bearings, “But by the time she left you were 22 and you had grown into a young woman.”

Wanda shakes her head a bit, “You had done a lot of growing, that I didn't want to see, that I was trying to ignore because I didn’t want you to think that I had intentions of taking advantage of you. I felt like at the time I was too old, you were too young, and we were too close.”

You look at her with confusion on your face. There’s only one thing that she could be talking about in your mind, but this can’t be happening.

“What are you saying Wanda?”

For the first time in the conversation her eyes meet yours. You see the fear in them, the uncertainty, the desperation. Her hand let’s go of yours and finds itself on her bouncing knee.

“I don't want to ruin this and I'm so scared of losing you, but if you would’ve died in that alley not knowing that I’m in love with you it would’ve destroyed me.”

You feel your heart beating against your chest. Your mouth opens and closes a few times as you try to find your voice. You find yourself stuttering for the first time in years, “Y-you w-what?”

Wanda stands abruptly trying to run from the conversation. This makes you panic and try to stand as well. However, you forget about your ankle and yelp at the weight you put on it.

Wanda’s arms are quick to steady you before you do anymore damage to yourself. She’s close to you and you swear you can hear her heartbeat.

“D-did you s-ay-” you give up frustrated with your reappearing stutter.

Wanda’s grip on you tightens slightly, “I’m in love with you.”

“Wanda I- you’re married,” you look back at Natasha only to find her staring at you.

She stands from her place on the couch, and closes the gap between the two of you.

“I have my own feelings for you Y/n,” Natasha is confident as she speaks.

Her assertion makes you turn red, “Y-you also?”

Natasha smiles sweetly, “Maybe not love just yet, but I could see myself falling for you.”

This situation was short-circuiting your brain, it felt like you were dreaming. This couldn’t be real. As you stood between the two woman it felt like less of a dream.

“I loved you before they sent you away,” you blurt out to your friend’s sister.

Once you start it’s like the words just pour out of your mouth, “You were way out of my league. You’re still out of my league, I mean does it get more taboo than falling for your best friend’s older sister. You’re just so easy to love, but I never thought I had a chance and then you came back with a wife; a very beautiful, very intelligent, ex-Russian spy of a wife, and I just knew I didn’t have a chance.”

“The chance is now. Admittedly, we don’t know how something like this works, but I think we can figure it out together,” Wanda levels with you.

“If you're interested,” Natasha adds on, leaving the ball in your court.

“It would’ve been nice if you guys had told me before I got a cut on my lip. I could’ve done the whole dramatic kiss to cut you off,” you tease them.

Wanda rolls her eyes, “If I could shove you and you wouldn’t fall over, I would.”

“You talk to every woman you’re in love with like that?”

Natasha chimes in, “You get used to it after awhile.”

You share a laugh and when it dies down Wanda speaks, “So we’re doing this?”

“I want to try, but I don’t want to ruin your marriage,” you speak honestly.

“You won’t,” Natasha declares with certainty.

“How do you know?”

She thinks for a moment, “The love Wanda and I have for each other is endless, I’ve never for a moment thought anything could break it up. We’re not changing the way we love each other, we’re just adding you into the already existing dynamic. Eventually it should end with the three of us loving each other endlessly. Does that make sense?”

You nod slowly, “It sounds perfect.”

Natasha places a kiss on your cheek like it’s second nature to her, “Good.”

Your ears heat at the contact and before you can respond Wanda places a light kiss at the corner of your lips.

The movement leaves you wanting more. Against better judgement you try to lean down and kiss her. You succeed in placing your lips against hers for a brief second but as you pull away you almost fall again.

Natasha is the one to steady you this time. She teases you, “Someone is eager?”

“My ankle doesn’t want me to be great.” you pout.

Natasha hesitates, but delicately she touches her lips to yours. It’s as quick as your attempt at kissing Wanda.

“Your ankle won’t stop us, bunny,” Wanda looks at you with shining eyes.

Your face heats at the nickname that’s only familiar to you in the woman’s native language. The women chuckle at the pigment of your skin.

“We’ll see who’s laughing when my lips don’t hurt and I can kiss you properly,” you try once again standing on your own.

“I’m looking forward to it,” Wanda lets her eyes fall to your lips.

You roll your eyes, “Stop teasing, and help me get ready for bed. This has simultaneously been one of the best and one of the most painful days of my life. Truly unforgettable.”

Natasha speaks first, “I’ll get some stuff ready for a shower.”

“I’ll help you to the bathroom,” Wanda finishes.

It’s an all too similar feeling as you find yourself perched on the bathroom counter with Wanda standing between your legs.

Her fingers play with the end of your shirt. She looks at you for permission and you give her a light nod.

Slowly as to not aggravate your injuries she takes your shirt off. She’s careful as she unwraps the bandages from your torso.

“You’ll need help in there,” she speaks softly as her eyes scan your body.

“I know,” the pain starts to catch up with you.

Leaning forward slightly you rest your head on her shoulder. She smells good and it calms your nerves.

Wanda can’t help herself as she speaks up, “Isn’t this a familiar scene?”

You raise your head off of her shoulder and smile, “It’s ringing a few bells.”

Natasha enters the restroom with some towels and pajamas, “I’m going to get some food going, if you guys are alright in here?”

Wanda nods, “I’ve got her, Nat.”

Natasha nods and proceeds to exit the bathroom, “Just holler if you need me.”

Wanda steps away from you to turn the shower on. She’s back in front of you in no time.

“How do you want to do this?”

You feel nerves as you speak, but you try to sound objective, “I think you should join me. Not because I want to see you, not that I don’t want to see you. Its just I can’t really stand and-”

She quiets you down by pulling her own shirt over her head. Her feet pad against the bathroom floor as she makes her way back over to you. Wanda’s hands place themselves on the top of your pants. Her movements are slow but sure as she begins to pull them down. She takes extra care when they're around your ankle.

Once they’re off she takes a step back swiftly removing her own pants. The only thing left on both of you is your underwear.

The sound of the shower rings heavily in your ears as you watch Wanda take her bra off. You can’t move even if you want to. Your eyes glance over her chest before following her hands path lower. She’s not teasing as she removes her panties.

Once again you find yourself with her standing between your legs, but this time there was significantly less fabric in the way. She reaches behind you back to place her hands on your bra clasp.

“Y/n, do you mind if-"

“Take it off,” you finish for her.

She does as you say, a shaky breath releases from her. Your bra falls off your shoulder, but you keep looking in her eyes. Her hand slides down from your back and her finger hooks around your underwear.

“Take it off,” you repeat in a hushed tone.

She follows your instructions. Her eyes snap back to yours. The two of you stare in silence. There’s an underlying tenderness to the moment.

Wanda’s hand reach for your waist, “Ready?”

You nod and she assists you off of the counter. The water hits your skin and you sigh. You enjoy the heat against your bruised skin. Wanda’s hands stay in place for a moment just keeping you steady.

It's a silent delicacy as Wanda soaps up a towel and begins to gently clean your skin. You marvel at the lightness of her touch.

She turns you around so you face her. You look down at her and can’t help but brush your nose against hers. You hear her breath hitch. Carefully you use your hand to guide her’s across your body.

Neither of you dwell as she cleans every inch of you intimately. You lean against the shower wall a bit so Wanda has room to wash herself. You take in the details of her body as she cleans herself.

She gets out first and then helps you put the pajamas laid out for you on before dressing herself.

“I love you,” you say it easily when everything is done.

Wanda places a kiss on your forehead, “I love you too.”

Wanda helps you to the kitchen table. Your eyes find Natasha moving about in the kitchen.

“Almost done, I know you’re tired lisichka. We can eat then get in the bed,” Natasha speaks to you.

“Thanks Natty,” you look at her with your hand on your chin.

“Did you re-wrap her torso detka?” Natasha asks her wife.

Wanda snaps her fingers, “I knew I forgot something.”

“Take over here, and I’ll do it?”

Wanda agrees to these terms. Natasha goes to fetch the medical wrap and quickly returns. You’re sitting down, so Natasha kneels to be level with your torso.

Carefully with tentative hands, she lifts up your shirt. Her hand finds the small of your back, to encourage you to sit straight. You follow her instructions.

“Tell me if it’s too tight, okay?”

You’re looking down into her eyes and you momentarily get lost in them. The hues of green draw you in like emeralds.

“Baby,” she says again a little more firm.

You snap out of it and nod, “I’ll tell you if it’s too tight.”

She brings the wrap around your torso multiple times, each time looking for any extensive discomfort in your expression.

When she’s done with your torso, she quickly does your ankle. Your ankle was more sensitive, so she made sure to be extra gentle.

“All set, lisichka,” the woman places a kiss on your forehead as she stands up.

“Food is ready,” Wanda announces bringing plates for the three of you to table.

At this point exhaustion was knocking at your door. You eat in comfortable silence and once you’re finished, they help you to bed.

When your head hits the pillow, you almost fall asleep instantly.

“If I didn’t want to kill him for what he did to my father, I’d kill him for this,” Wanda says to her wife.

“The men involved have been dealt with already,” Natasha relies to her Wanda.

“You work fast malyshka,” Wanda places her hands on Natasha’s hips.

Natasha looks at your sleeping figure, “I’d move at the speed of light for either of you.”

Natasha ends her statement by kissing Wanda.

“I love you,” Wanda pulls the woman closer to her.

Natasha smiles pecking the woman’s lips once more, “I love you too.”

The two of them climb into the bed, making sure to give you adequate space due to your injuries.

“Why does this already feel so natural?” Wanda questions.

Natasha answers instantly, “It’s just meant to be like this. This feels like the final piece to our little puzzle."

Wanda was more than content with that answer, closing her eyes, unable to fight rest.

Somewhat like before, but entirely different at the same time, the three women lay together.

Taglist: @natashaswife4125 @autorasexy @alexawynters @blkmxrvel @toouncreativeforausername @likemick @sgm616 @bstvst @dorabledewdroop @sapphic-simp4015 @natty-taffy @justarandomreaderxoxo @mmmmokdok @tarathia @bgwlsmahf25 @lezzylover @og-kxsh-420 @vanessashands @untoldreader @sxlfishbrokenheart @marvelgirlx @elle161989

#lowkeyerror #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #wandanat x reader #the family business

[phyrestartr]

Divine Favour | Sukuna x Kitsune!Reader (Pt.2) NSFW

W/C: 3.2k #NSFW, THEY FUCKIN', mild yuuji/reader, yuuji and gang are v early 20s, heian sukuna, male reader, typical kitsune shapeshifting, canon typical violence, morally grey reader, sukuna ignores feelings through the force of sheer willpower, unhealthy relationships, power imbalance, dubcon elements, blood as lube (SORRY), Sukuna unhinged horknee, ABO elements

A/N: I wanted to make this include more parts, but I am so flabbergasted and in awe of the response to this fic that I feel the need to feed y'all feral creatures LMAO. JKJK but 👀 Thank you for all the feedback and support! It really gives me the motivation to continue writing and to interact with the JJK community. I'm having a lot of fun!

tags: @kamote-kuneho @kamote-kuneho @nyanwko @kamote-kuneho @better-imagination-9 @3zae-zae3 @chibiduck @kiiyoooo @lukaijah

“What the fuck is this?” Sukuna drawled, an intense fury simmering through his being. His gaze couldn't tear free from you, not even to size up the blindfolded weirdo watching him intently. 

He shattered the coffin, freeing you from the makeshift cursed bath some freak had forced you into. He smoothed damp hair from your sickly face and searched for sparks of life somewhere in the cold stillness that'd overtaken you. And there was something. He found it, a little glimmer of vitality in the smallest, shakiest inhale. 

“Good,” he praised, brushing your hair back more and more to get a better look at your face. You looked like the frail little thing he saved all those decades ago.

“You know,” Gojo interrupted, but Sukuna paid him no mind, “If I didn't know any better, I'd think you actually cared about that kitsune.” 

“Then you don't know what this is,” Sukuna decided blandly. “Figures.” Kenjaku kept him off the record, huh? Guess that's a bonus.

“Oh? Do you wanna enlighten me before Yuuji comes back?” Gojo smiled, as if he really expected Sukuna to play nice and be honest with him. “Come on, come on, it's your chance to be vulnerable~” 

“Tch. Pretty damn sure the fox'll be the one to tell you.” His hand smoothed over your stomach and rubbed slow, gentle circles against your skin as reverse technique sought to bring you all back to him. “He yaps about as much as your insufferable ass does. Granted, he talks a lot nicer.” 

“Wow, rude.” Gojo sighed and clapped twice as if clapping on a light. “Okay! I've had enough bullying. Yuuji–” 

“Brat, don't you fucking dare–” 

Yuuji inhaled sharply. He blinked owlishly at your calmed expression, your eyes now closed and breathing now steadied thanks to Sukuna's aid. 

Aid. That wasn't something the king did. 

“Sensei,” Yuuji managed, voice quivering under the weight of memories’ emotion. “Can you fix this?”

Somehow, you were stuck in the throes of flirtation with the malevolent king of curses. 

“It may be courtship,” Uraume guessed, soft smile brightening their cold exterior. 

(They'd been smiling more recently, actually, ever since you completed that overcoat and presented it to them. Nary a day went by when they did not don the sentimental garb.)

But you weren't so sure; the event of courtship was serious business across all lucid creatures. Animals and creatures of primal existence sought out partners with favorable genes and strong constitution, whereas humans and the like yearned for merit or love in their coupling. You didn't quite grasp the way humans thought. Not yet. 

Well, save for flirting. You decided it was a sort of pre-courtship where nothing became serious and nothing was on the line, but frivolous touches and haughty words of praise ran rampant when those concerned crossed paths. 

Much like today.

(Much like the days before and after.)

You walked along the stone-paved path most mornings, lost in thoughts and mumbling to yourself bits and pieces of poems. Most were unfinished, but in their own time, verses would find one another and complete the incomplete. 

A groggy yawn hummed from the palace entrance. And moments later, Ryoumen Sukuna fell into step with you, grumbling and mumbling complaints about the nippy Spring morning while he tucked his arms away into his sleeves. 

He followed you, idly looking around the expansive space you'd helped curate and maintain when you weren't busying yourself with the girls or decorating clothing. The gardens weren't a mess before, not at all, but now they had a certain taste–trees and flowers were planted with specificity, stones were moved, paths reworked. You took the outside over completely. The king didn't mind. 

“Sukuna-sama,” you said, voice melting in kind with the morning frost. “I'll need to leave for a short while.” 

Sukuna quirked a brow and looked at you. You gazed upon the large, thick koi flashing their beautiful scales and ornate patterns of orange and white as they swam and followed you. Tch. How come even the fish were drawn to you? 

“And how do you think you'll accomplish that?” Sukuna tossed a rock into the koi pond, making the fish scatter. “Getting away from me isn't something you can do.”

You huffed and looked at him. “I understand. I simply seek your permission.” 

“Denied.”

“Ah.” You deadpanned. “Why?”

“You're mine; I decide where you go, how you breathe, if you eat. Or are you forgetting that?” 

You sighed and let your ears droop sadly with your tails. “Surely you jest.” 

“Are you laughing?”

You whined like a sad, sad street pup before cozying up to him, slipping your hands up his stomach and chest like you were supposed to. “Please?” 

“No.” 

You chittered and pressed your face against him, but didn't protest and complain much more. 

Sukuna’s thoughts whirled. The show was amusing, sure, but you didn't do anything without reason, especially when it had to do with breaking character and acting out like this out of–

Oh? 

Sukuna leaned down and sniffed you, searching for the intriguing coil of flowery citrus he nearly missed on the warming breeze. It was so, so faint, but decadent and alluring in a way that made the master of toxins cautious–most poisons tasted sweet, after all. 

You pulled your head back, shrinking down the slightest bit with your ears flattened against your skull. Your eyes, wide as a full moon, stared up at him, expectant. The touch of your hands on him never left, though.

“Brassavola nadosa.” Sukuna tilted his head. “You smell like it.” 

You blinked curiously, relaxing. “Is that so?” 

We don't have that orchid in the garden. Sukuna hummed and lifted a lock of your hair, catching another weak waft of the flower's faint scent. 

It's coming from him, then. Hm. 

“Tell me again why you want to leave the palace?” Sukuna asked on a hunch.

And that hunch doubled down when you fidgeted with the cloth of his haori and looked aside. 

“I wish to bear children," you admitted, shy and quiet. "To try, at the very least. Perhaps find a mate, too.” 

Children. You wanted children. After everything those sorcerers put you through for who knows how many years, you still wanted to mother a runt of your own. And you were willing to run off into the wild to, what, let some random man knock you up? Fill you with seed of unknown origin, unknown value, unknown potential?

Sukuna's ego flared. He leaned down to you, tilting your chin up to make you look him in the eyes regardless how small you felt in that moment. He deserved to witness you. You deserved to witness him. 

“You're not leaving,” he breathed, and he swore he could hear your heart break. “If you want a brat, you'll get a brat–only if you stay here 'n give up on those shitty thoughts of finding a sire out there.”

Your eyes scanned his face, tracing over serious lines and honest creases. Clearly, you searched for an answer–

“How?” 

–one that Sukuna didn’t have. Or maybe he did. Perhaps he just couldn't find the words for it. 

He scoffed and ruffled up your hair, unable to answer you. “You're not leaving. Not unless I say so.” 

The first time he let you go, he left scars. 

He found you in your chambers come early evening. Your tails swished and flicked as you sat amidst a nest of his robes and the missing linens from his chambers while you futzed over the embroidery of another haori, this time adorning the plain thing with the darkest scarlet one could find. Sukuna could already guess why. 

Your being burns as wildfires do. Lively. Emphatically. Devouring more and more so long as the earth lets you. Yet where you do not lay ruin, you grant warmth and light in a divine way. Wildfires are not such horrible things if one stays a respectable ways away. 

Your poetic nonsense irritated him to no end, but he fell enamored all the same; you spoke to honor him with every utterance of his name. You didn't try to kiss his feet nor did you bask him in compliments–you only spoke into existence that which hummed through your mind, unprovoked. It just so happened to be everything Sukuna liked to hear. 

So when he found you secluded away, beckoning so sweetly with intoxicating scents of citrus and gardenia, what choice did he have but to lay claim, to give you the brat you so sorely yearned for?  

You sensed him. Your gaze flicked to him, stoic and unmoved as ever, as the energy in the room built into suffocating silence, something like tectonic plates caught in deadlock, holding their disastrous energy, waiting for the right moment to devastate the world with a single, cataclysmic shift.

And of course, it was the impatient predator that moved first, setting a catastrophe into motion. 

The hours blurred together. 

Every minute of the chase was thrilling, invigorating, surprising–you were filled with tricks and traps, never slowing down for a second to think or doubt as the beast of a sorcerer pursued you through his palace, through the city below, and now into the looming forest in the mountains. 

Admittedly, he'd gotten carried away. He lost himself in the rush of it all, the adrenaline and pure, destructive desire pushed his self-control into unraveling just the slightest bit; honest attacks tore through space and time, hoping to maim and cripple you if they were to hit. And, honestly, the way you avoided his attempts to strike you down enthralled him as much as it enraged him–he was seconds away from unleashing his domain until a less-than-satisfying ripple of cursed energy tore across your thigh and put you down.

It was then, walking up to you, to his prey, that Sukuna remembered you weren't a sorcerer. Most would be able to stand and walk it off, maybe even heal with reverse technique, but you could only grasp at your weeping wound and grimace. Because you were not a sorcerer, you were a kitsune: a trickster, a creature full of mischief and void of cursed energy. 

Yokai. Not a human. Not a curse. Not like the rest of the boring souls wandering his earth. 

Sukuna pinned you the second you tried to make a break for it. Fangs and claws gnashed and tore into him while his hands strained to keep you down and rip those damn clothes free from your burning skin. 

Mating's never a pretty thing when it comes to nature. Humans like you made it something more.

Sukuna clasped a hand over your mouth and forced his weight onto you, ripping reedy yowls from your core as you twisted and turned, primal mind urging you to run, run, run, don't make this easy, make him prove his worth–

Rip.

Ribbons of what were once your robes fluttered to the ground, useless and unsalvageable. They were plain black, so unlike what you usually wore. You wouldn't miss them. 

“Make this as difficult as you want, pet,” Sukuna whispered as he loomed over you. His hand slid from your mouth to your throat when you stilled.  

“You know how this ends.” 

His pants were pulled down while another hand wiped slippery blood against your pliant entrance–and that was the only warning you got before he pushed into you. 

Where you should have screamed, you instead sighed. Your back arched off the ground like a work of art. Two hands gave up on holding you down in favour of gripping your waist and hips, pulling you closer to him, forcing you flush against his body. 

He noticed it then: a litany of old scars and discoloured marks shining against your skin. Marks left by those who did not deserve to taste such a delicacy. 

Unsightly.

Blood painted the grass. Cleaves and slashes ate away at those tainted scars, painting over the ugliness left hidden for too long–now, his marks would decorate you. Now, those hidden scars would mean something. They’d mean everything. 

Yet Sukuna's selfish maiming wasn't fitting the bill, and your antsy-ness was proof of it. You tried for the last time to pull from him, but his grip tightened around your throat. You gazed at him, then, eyes so wide and hungry, eager to fight or fuck–whichever came first. 

He braced over you and nearly winced as he dragged out of your suffocating heat. A sharp snap back inside loosened you, the glide of blood and slick aiding him. 

“I'll take you the way you need it,” he drawled as he built the pace quickly, already feeling his own obsession and excitement reverberating through his body, filling every fibre of muscle with electricity.

“Then,” he growled, leaning closer to your face. “I'll fuck you the way you want it.”

“More,” you sighed, digging your nails into the pillow you had your face buried in while the beast fucked you from behind. Sukuna groaned in compliance and lanced into your guts deeper, harder, faster than before–you were the only one that could handle the brutal way he let loose, and he was more than willing to indulge in that privilege. 

The hands all over you rose to the occasion, too; one had your tails fisted in his ruthless grasp, rudely holding you still and pulling you back against his hips; another rested on the curve of your ass, only moving to give a sharp slap or to knead your soft, perfect skin; the last two held your hips in a crushing force, his calloused fingers digging into your plush sides and sharp hip bones like you might disappear at any second. 

A sharp, sweet whine signaled the beginning of the end, as did the restless fidgeting and shifting in the king's grasp. Seeing you, a poised, powerful, mischievous being, come undone beneath him came to be one of Sukuna’s favourite sights, especially knowing it could only be because of him--only him. 

He leaned over you, his heavy chest pressing into your back as one hand released your waist in favour of fisting in your hair and tugging your head back and out of the futon you so desperately clung to. 

“Ah-ah,” he scolded breathily. “No hiding.” It was a familiar sentiment, one he had no problem reminding you of now and again. You had a horrible habit of trying to vanish when overwhelmed, after all. 

“Terrible beast,” you snapped back, scoffing indignantly when the deep bassy laugh of the man rolled through your body. “Horrible.” 

“You love it,” Sukuna growled back, grinning through every word. 

Something about it clearly struck a chord with you, judging by how fast you choked on your voice and came undone, legs trembling and body tightening around the too-big intrusion. The king groaned and bit at your neck, licking whatever blood beaded at the surface in between rushed, hushed words of praise for you and your efforts–most, if they heard the things he said, would call it out of character for the beast. Most didn't get to see beyond his raw power and crippling cruelty, however. 

Sukuna grunted and spilled inside you, pulling you back by your hair, hips and tail to ensure he forced every bit of his offerings deep into your core. Your body rocked and twitched against his, accepting all he had to offer you at the end of yet another coupling, before he let go of your locks and let you collapse face-first into the futon. 

He pulled out slowly, watching as every inch slipped from your abused hole before popping free and uncorking a dribble of whiteness from inside. He tutted and scooped it up with two fingers before stuffing it back in. 

“Oi, oi, are you even trying to keep it in?” He teased, smirking as you huffed. 

“You've exhausted me. I have no energy to attempt the impossible,” you lamented, nuzzling your nose further into the soft sheets smelling of cedar and fresh blooms–something so uniquely Sukuna. 

Your king sighed and gave your ass a firm few pats. “Guess I'll have to spoil you even more.” He settled onto his back and easily pulled you onto him, yanking you up to straddle his waist right where that second mouth laid open and eager to taste you. 

“This is uncouth,” you sighed. But you rocked back against the thick, heavy tongue pressing into your pliant heat, licking deep into you with a mind and hunger of its own. 

“Seems couth enough for you,” he commented, watching you ride his centre with rapt attention. “Little harlot's getting off on this, hey? Such a needy little brat.” 

His hands smoothed up and down your legs and sides as you shamelessly chased a second high. Your hands clasped over his as he took you into his hand and stroked you back to ample stiffness, the soreness of too many rounds of fucking making you far too sensitive to touch. 

“S-Sukuna-sama,” you stammered. “I can't–”

Sukuna's head tilted with a pleased smirk. “Ho? I thought you wanted to bear children? Are my offerings not enough for you?” 

You scrunched your face up into something of a prissy glare, but the shine clinging to your lashes and the shuddering of your body against his betrayed your crumbling demeanor. Of course, he was impressed with how his fox was fairing considering everything he put you through. 

He maneuvered you onto your back, grinning as you growled and weakly struggled against him. You looked perfect–stomach swollen, hair fanned out behind you, eyes teary but unable to tear away from the creature that’d tormented you for hours upon hours with no desire to give you a break. 

“Greedy god,” Sukuna lamented. One hand came to rest on your bruised neck again, fitting around so perfectly. “Nothing’s ever fucking good enough for you.” 

“You are.” 

That gave Sukuna pause. He stared down at you, all eyes looking over you with rapt attention as he tried to think. Tried to understand. Tried to parse those words and uncover what exactly you tried to convey. 

But it didn't click. 

“Tch. You're lucky I'm a generous god,” he scolded, releasing you from your torment in favour of collapsing down beside you for some much-needed rest. Not only did your beautiful body wear him out (not that he'd admit it), but your whimsical words wore his sanity thin. The worst part was you didn't even intend to damage him so. 

“I am truly honoured to merely be in your presence,” Your voice, light and dreamy as petals fluttering, laughed, and Sukuna's soul did something odd. 

He stared at the ceiling as you shuffled beside him, quickly returning to his side, donned in one of his haori and determined to make a comfortable nest of blankets and clothes around you both for the rest of the night–ah, morning? Huh. What an ordeal. 

You curled up next to him, shoving your back firmly against his side the way you often did when resting as a fox, and Sukuna huffed. 

“Turn to me,” he commanded, and you obeyed. 

He, too, turned to face you to envelope your lithe form with invincible arms and divine protection. Your soft purrs rolled through him, settling his wild spirit into a lazy tempo of an early morning stroll through a garden filled with one sort of white orchid: 

Brassavola nadosa. “Lady of the Night.” Your calling card. Your divine essence.

"Brassavola nodosa (Lady of the Night) is a medium-sized epiphytic or lithophytic orchid species boasting extremely fragrant flowers throughout the year. The blossoms, 4 in. across (10 cm), emit a citrus fragrance at night. Each flower features long, slender, pale green or creamy-white sepals and petals and a large, heart-shaped lip sometimes adorned with purple or dark red spotting." - gardenia.net

#sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x male reader #sukuna x m!reader #sukuna x you #jjk x you #male reader insert #male reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen reader insert #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x you

[disregardcanon]

this probably seems like a weird question from your end,but why do fanfic writers care so much about comments? aos already tracks hits and likes, sorry ""kudos"", so why are comments such a big deal to the point that people will stop writing?

okay, so i'm going to take this question very seriously and i promise it's not to make you feel bad. this is a comprehensive explanation of reasons that comments are important for me, both as a writer and as a reader

engagement vs numbers game

seeing trends

buy-in

community building

engagement vs numbers game

let's look quickly at two different fics of mine. this is the kudos count for a fic called Of First Kisses and Burnt Lips

it's old. it's been up on ao3 for almost 11 years now. 258 people liked it enough to leave a kudos, 12 people liked it enough for a bookmark, and it's been clicked on 3,859 times.

i have no clue what almost any of these people on ao3 THINK about it. beyond "huh. sure. i'll kudos that". compare this to its crosspost on ffn, where i got 5 reviews

3/5 mention it being cute. 3/5 give appreciation to me for taking the time to write it. 2/5 praise the writing itself from the attention to detail with grammar to the craft. 1/5 is an "um..." which is hard to decipher but appreciate and 1/5 is a silly reaction, but it's a reaction! look, someone felt a felling reading my thing! that made me giggle!

looking at the stats here from a purely numbers perspective, my fic DID better on ao3. it got a lot more kudos than it ever got faves or reviews on ffn. but those ffn comments are still what i think about when i remember this fic.

sure, a shear number like hits or kudos can be comforting and motivating. i'm definitely not telling you to NOT leave kudos! but the fics that i've come back to, recently, are the ones where i don't have a lot of kudos but i do have a few people who are invested in the stories and leaving comments to tell me

2. seeing trends

lets look at a few of the comments on my fic The Maid of Honor Made Them Do It

so just in these two comments, we see both commenters hone in on the same detail: my choice to include a special christian music playlist that this characters' friends made for her. a few other people in this thread mentioned that same detail, so i know this bit really worked well! it's great feedback that lets me know that a good chunk of readers agree with my characterization here.

these readers zoom in on specific details that they really liked! things that made them laugh, the absurdity of the concept, enjoying reading it, and that they could see it staged, which is a HUGE compliment for a work in a fandom for theater.

i've always had trouble with imaging where characters are in a space, how they're occupying it and moving, and how to use that for characterization purposes. however, i got more than one comment on this fic about how people could see it staged! that means that i'm improving in an area that i've always struggled with. that's huge. it makes me want to keep working on this thing! it makes me feel like what i'm doing here matters, because lots of people are picking up on similar things! they're invested enough to give me a comment! and it makes me want to keep writing for the hatchetfield fandom because some people are invested in my work here. that is BIG! seeing trends in the way that readers experience your story helps a lot with writer buy-in for a project and also for writers self-analysis.

as a commenter: this helps me JUST as much. when i really dig into what i enjoyed about a fic to tell the writer about it, that helps me analyze and articulate the strengths and things i might want to take away from the storytelling, and that makes my writing better too!

3. buy-in

this is a comment on a series that has less than 100 kudos across three fics, but has thoughtful, appreciative comments on each work. it's called Melting Pot

the commenter deleted their ao3 account. they may be one of the people who commented on the next fic, which i posted recently. they might NOT have been! honestly, it doesn't matter that much to me. this person gave me a gentle and nudge about a fic that matters to me and mattered to them at the time, and they were part of the push i needed to get back to it.

from a commenter perspective, i know that hearing a kind word can help someone keep up their motivation to write, even when i can't write in depth comments the way that i like to!

just recently i only had the time to comment "nice update" on a favorite fic of mine called Teeth That Turn. but they know that i come and i read and they know and talk to me by (user)name. because they know i care about this thing they care about! and it's way more fun to do something like this when i know i can chat with the author about theories and thoughts and ideas. and this isn't a "wow aren't i so cool other writers like me! tehehe" bragging thing, it's just evidence for the case of why comments matter?

if i didn't want this to be a two way buy-in, i'd ONLY read published fiction, you know? we're all playing in the sandbox on the playground and i like what they made. they like that i like what they made :) we're scheduling a play date to fight with sticks after school my mom said it's okay!

4. community building

now i know that i just mentioned above here why i like being a commenter and how it helps authors, as well as why i like HAVING commenters as an author. i'm still arguing those things as a lead up to this section, where i have two other points to make about community building here too.

1. you can comment on OTHER comments! if you go through and read to see what other people are saying, you can agree with them. you can add some commentary! sometimes you can make a joke! and i've only ever had fun responses from something like that. authors tend to love that their fics are getting such a response that people are talking to each other about it! like look!!!!!! my thing got you to talk to someone else about it holy shit?!??!

2. commenting on fics in your fandom builds you a good reputation and makes other authors you comment on more likely to read YOUR fic. i'm not going to post any screenshots on this one because it would be embarrassing for everyone involved, but there have been authors that i really admired who gave my stuff a try after i commented on theirs. and they've told me that's why they tried it! like obviously it's not just networking or whatever, but it's really nice to have someone give your stuff a try because you've been enthusiastic and thoughtful about theirs.

and you make friends this way! fandom friends! who want to talk about your blorbos! you get to go on little play dates in cyberspace with cool people who like what you like. you don't ever HAVE to be a writer, of course. if you don't want to throw your hat into the ring or make art or edits or gif sets or anything, that's cool. no one ever has to participate in fandom outside of their comfort zone! but if you want to, you know that you'll feel more welcomed if you have some people in your corner for it, and making friends in a space, screaming about how much you love the characters you love, and remembering that fic authors especially are just fans too will help you feel like you "deserve" to exist in the space. maybe you don't write, but you go here too. you've got a space in the fandom and your comments don't have to be, like, perfect literary essays for authors to appreciate them and get a motivation boost from them still existing and us being able to go back to them and go!!! look!!! i don't suck!!! this person liked what i did so i'm okay! :)

#anons #writing things #ao3 things #the case for commenting

[ambermeh]

Chris Sturniolo Firsts

⋆ His first crush: does not really know how to act around you and will become the most nervous and giggling person ever. This man will just want to talk to you. Especially if you two are friends and he has feelings. 'why don't you come over, i'll get the food' 'chris it's two in the morning'

⋆ He will drop subtle hints and play it off as joke because he doesn't want you to know or him to have to tell you 'outfit looks good ma might have to fight the other guys for you' 'shut up chris, what are you even talking about?'

⋆ As much as he pretends to be a player around you or jokes that all the girls love him, he cannot even look or think at a women in the same way after having a crush on you for a while. To the point you will be at a party somewhere and you will try and set him up with someone as a joke but he is dead serious and will act pissed off if you mention it. 'what's wrong I was just trying to help you find a girlfriend' 'yeah, well maybe I don't need help'

⋆ as you two are spending more an more time together you start having the same feelings and talk to Matt and Nick about it because they know Chris the best 'i think you should just go for it' 'i mean if chris says no he literally has lost his mind'

⋆His first relationship: when he finally builds up the courage to say it I think he would make a whole romantic surprise. For example, you get back from a week long holiday and he realises how much he actually likes you and so makes you find these clues etc and will be waiting for you at the end with a bunch of flowers. (Nick and Matt were also made to help because he would be stressing about doing something wrong)

⋆ The dates would be the funniest thing ever because he will randomly think of things he wants to do and there is page on his notes of all the dates he wants to do with you

⋆ Even though he will act like he doesn't like the romantic shit that other people do he LOVES it

⋆ Want to bake cookies and eat them while watching a romcom, sure. Want to do skincare and put make up on him, 100%. and the TIKTOKS that he would post would be so cute because he is literally just in awe of you. Does anything that you want really.

⋆ Just wants to make sure he is still the funniest person ever in your eyes. I feel like he would randomly show you videos while you two are just cuddling just to make sure you find them funny and will text you at the most random time with a joke he thought of 'well you could always show me when i'm not trying to get to sleep' 'sorry it was too funny not to'

⋆ First pet: it would be a cat because even if he didn't love the idea at first he would slowly start to be persuaded by the tiktoks of cute and funny cats. The cat would have to be a ginger cat or black cat because I think he would want one that matched his energy. Gets it as a kitten and was all I'm not going to get too attached to the cat BUT when it starts cuddling him at night he will act like it's his child 'I'm gonna stay at home because I can't leave him alone thinking I've left' 'thought you said it was my cat'

⋆ First child: The sweetest Dad ever

⋆ Will want to play sports with them all the time and dress them in outfits 'y/n i'm gonna go out and play some basketball with the kids i'll be back soon love you!!!'

⋆ Records everything because he thinks they are too cute not to. (and sends them all to you) 'Say hello to mummy for me, look y/n she's walking'

⋆ is that Dad who no matter what supports their child, you will never hear Chris comparing them to any other child because he loves them for who they are

⋆ AND even if you two are tired with having kids Nick and Matt are more than up for having them over, while you and Chris just eat a meal or watch a movie together. The love that you two have for each other is even more now that you have a family. 'we are parents now, I'm so proud of us' 'I know and at least we are not one of those boring couples' 'how could we be? I'm hilarious and you are so beautiful and funny and smart and' 'Chris shut up' 'you're blushing ma'

#matt sturniolo x reader #matt x reader #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #chris x reader #chris sturniolo x reader

[dira333]

soulmate AU: if your soulmate colors their hair, your hair turns the same color + ATSUMU!!!!!!!!!!

THE WAY I GIGGLED AND KICKED MY FEET OMFGGGGG

for some reason i'm picturing the fic being like a through the years type of thing? where when you're kids your hair is just a normal brown but then in middle and high school it becomes a sort of ombre bleached blonde and it's just your journey with your hair and you wondering why your soulmate doesn't take better care of theirs lol. i also picture it like you see atsumu on tv a lot just because he's a really famous volleyball player and you have a little bit of suspicion but you don't think too much about it because he's really famous and there's no way you would be soulmates with this celebrity (who's known for being boyish and charming and flirty yk).

Let me run from you - Miya Atsumu x Reader

You suppose it could have been worse.

Mukai-chan's hair is a bright red today. Nakao-Kun's lovely black hair has turned an ugly grey color. And Taniguchi-chan chopped off all her curls, not realizing that it's only her hair color that will mark her soulmate.

But you hate it, the garish yellow of your hair. You hadn't mind all the stages before, the dark brown that turned lighter and lighter each month. It had been kinda fun too, not knowing when your soulmate got another chance to see their hairdresser. But now?

You twirl a strand between your fingers.

"You know, it reminds me of gold," Emi, your best friend, points out. "And I could be silver." She points at her own, greyish curls.

You sigh. "That's nice of you. But I think it looks more like piss."

-

"Hey, have you seen that already?" Emi turns the magazine so you can see. It's a poster of some high school Volleyball team.

"What about it?"

"Look at these two." She points at two guys who look eerily similar - well, except for their hair color. "They match. Just like we do."

"Mhm, maybe," you turn your head to squint down at it. "The grey one matches, but the yellow doesn't look as bad on him as it does on me. And who says our soulmates will be related?"

"Excuse me?" Emi scoffs. "Like anything else could be true. You're my platonic soulmate after all."

You snort. "True. Do you want to swap lunch again?"

"Thought you'd never ask. Oh, I made Onigiri last night, do you wanna try the new flavor I came up with?"

-

College is College. Fun and hell at the same time.

"Your hair," one of the girls from your class points out over a cup of something you don't want to taste again. You snort. "Don't remind me. I've tried every toner there is, but I think I need to start at the source."

"No," she starts again, but this time it's Emi who cuts her off, clawing into your arm.

"You'll never believe who I just spotted," she says, voice hushed, breath rushed. "The most beautiful guy to ever exist."

"Oh, so Kageyama Tobio is around?" You joke, but she shakes your arm violently, letting you know this is serious.

"No, no, you don't understand. His hair is the same color as mine. And he's in the kitchen making food, I-"

"Oh, you mean Samu." The two of you turn to the girl. She grins smugly at your now obvious interest in her knowledge.

"He's in my business class. He wants to open a restaurant. He's got a twin brother too. Your hair reminds me of his."

"No way," you wave her off, "If you're talking about the Miya twins you must be mistaken. No way my soulmate could be famous enough to be part of the Miya Twins. He's too dumb to use conditioner."

She laughs. "Oh, boy, are you in for a surprise. I think he's here today. Stay here, I'll get him."

She turns away and you use your chance to grab Emi and go, moving a fast as possible in the direction of the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" She asks, clearly confused.

"Getting out of here and making sure you still meet your soulmate."

"But what if that Miya guy is yours?"

"No way," you shake your head, "I didn't struggle my way through school to be the soulmate of some rich dude. That's too cliché."

You burst through the doors of the kitchen, now face to face with a guy you can only describe as handsome. He's got that lazy smile that Emi's always liked best, arms deep in a bowl of dough.

"Oh, hey," he smiles, "If you're hungry there's some chips and dip in the fridge. Pizza is almost ready to go in the oven too."

"This is my best friend," you tell him, pulling Emi out from behind you, "Avid food blogger, talented cook, and pretty much your soulmate. Thank me later."

She squeaks but you squeeze her shoulder and make a run for the backdoor - you're not sure why they're always located in the kitchen but you're not one to complain tonight.

-

You've almost made it to safety, the curb already in sight, when something hits you in the face - hard enough to let you tumble over, and land face-first in the dirt.

"Oh shit! Are you okay?!"

You groan, push yourself up only to come face to face with the guy from the kitchen - no, his twin. The hair color is different.

"Wow," he grins cheekily, "I knew I'm great but that's the first time someone literally fell at my feet."

"You wish," you snarl, "Is that your way of flirting? Hitting innocent girls?"

"You don't look that innocent," he jokes, "But no, I only do that for the cute ones."

"Har har," you sit up properly, and put a hand to your chin where it hurts the most. "What did you hit me with anyway?"

"Volleyball," he offers you his hand, "Come on, let me help you up."

"Tsumu!" Someone yells from an open window, "Hoga-chan's looking for you, she said- Oh, so you found her."

"Found who?" Tsumu, your attacker, doesn't turn around. His stare is a little unnerving. It would help a lot if he was a little less attractive.

"Your soulmate."

#my writing #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #soulmates #atsumu fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu

[valkyriexo]

You're Drunk | Changbin

ᑉ³pairing; Changbin x Reader

ᑉ³genre; Sickfic , Comfort, angst with a happy ending

ᑉ³warnings; Alcohol, Arguments, sorrow

ᑉ³Authors Note; a little different that the other ones in this collection. Thank you for all the love :)

Part of the "He helps you when.." collection. Other members parts: Chan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Han | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

"I can't believe you're seriously considering this," Changbin says, his voice tight with barely concealed frustration as he looks at the job offer in your hand.

You can feel his disapproval like a weight on your shoulders, but you can't ignore the excitement bubbling inside you.

"I know it's a big decision, Changbin, but this job could be the opportunity I've been waiting for," you reply, your voice full of hope.

"But what about us? What about our relationship?" Changbin counters, his tone pleading as he searches your eyes for reassurance.

You take a deep breath, the weight of the decision bearing down on you. "I don't want to give up on my dreams. Can't you see that?" you reply.

Changbin's face contorts with hurt and frustration, his voice wavering as he speaks. "Well, it sure seems like you don't care about me," he says, his tone laced with bitterness. "You're willing to throw away everything we have just for some job on the other side of the world."

Tears well up in your eyes as his words hit you like a punch to the gut. "That's not fair, Changbin," you protest, your voice cracking with emotion. "I care about you more than anything. But I also need to think about my future."

Changbin's brows furrow in frustration, his voice tinged with desperation. "But I can provide for you," he says, his tone pleading as he searches your eyes for reassurance. "You don't need to take this job. We can make things work here."

You feel a pang of guilt as you meet his gaze, knowing that his words come from a place of love and concern. "It's not about the money Binnie," you reply, your voice gentle but firm. " I appreciate it. I really do. But I need to work too. I want to have something for myself, I need to have something for myself."

Changbin's expression darkens, hurt flashing in his eyes. "So what, you're saying I'm not enough for you? That I can't provide for you?" he says, his voice rising with each word.

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all," you protest, the tears welling up in your eyes. "You provide so much for me, Changbin, but this is something I need to do for myself. Can't you understand that?"

Changbin's shoulders slump in defeat. "I understand," he replies quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I understand it clearly," he says, grabbing his things and beginning to leave.

"Binnie," you start, your voice trembling with emotion, but he cuts you off with a shake of his head.

"I need some time to think," he says, his voice distant as he turns away, his footsteps echoing in the tense silence that follows.

It was a memory, clear and defined, of a scene that had unfolded just a few days ago. Each detail remained vivid in your mind, as though etched there permanently, refusing to fade with time.

You were alone in the dimly lit apartment, and you found yourself transported back to that moment. The weight of the decision still heavy on your heart, the echoes of your voices reverberating in the quietude of the room. You could almost feel the tension in the air, the raw emotions palpable as if they were still swirling around you.

As you sat there, lost in the labyrinth of your thoughts, you couldn't help but replay the scene over and over again. Each time, the words exchanged between you and Changbin felt sharper, the emotions more intense, as if the memory itself was trying to etch its significance deeper into your consciousness.

With each sip of your drink, you tried to drown out the pain, to numb the ache that resonated within you. But no amount of alcohol could erase the memory, nor could it silence the inner turmoil that ate at your soul.

Days passed in a blur of anguish and solitude. Your apartment became a sanctuary for your sorrow, the only constant in a world that seemed to be crumbling around you. You retreated further into yourself, the outside world fading into insignificance as you grappled with your inner demons.

You hardly had the energy to tend to your basic needs. Your phone lay forgotten and uncharged, its silent screen a stark reminder of the darkness in your life. Meals became an afterthought, mere distractions from the relentless ache in your heart.

Most of your days were spent in tears, the weight of your emotions too heavy to bear alone.

You found yourself curled up on the couch, the soft glow of the lamp casting long shadows across the room. Every corner of your mind is consumed by thoughts of Changbin, his hurt expression haunting your every thought. You replay the argument over and over in your mind, dissecting every word, every nuance, searching for a way to make things right. But no matter how hard you try, the same conclusion stares back at you, cold and unforgiving: 

You and Changbin were drifting further and further apart.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you consider all your options, weighing the pros and cons with painstaking detail. But no matter how hard you try, you can't shake the sinking feeling that no matter what path you choose, it will lead to heartbreak.

With a heavy heart, you bury your face in your hands, the weight of your decision crushing you from all sides. The thought of losing Changbin, of being without him, is almost too much to bear.

As you continue to drink, the tears continue to flow, mixing with the bitter taste of alcohol on your lips. Each sip brings a temporary reprieve from the pain, but as the alcohol dulls your senses, the weight of your sorrow only seems to grow heavier.

Your vision blurs as the room spins around you, the sounds of your own sobs echoing in your ears. You try to steady yourself, to cling to some semblance of control, but the weight of your emotions is too much to bear.

With a heavy heart and weary limbs, you sink further into the cushions, the warmth of the alcohol washing over you like a heavy blanket. Your eyelids grow heavy, the exhaustion of the day catching up with you in a rush.

As the tears continue to fall, you find yourself drifting, slipping further and further into the comforting embrace of sleep. The weight of your sorrow lifts, if only for a moment, as unconsciousness claims you, pulling you into a dreamless slumber.

In the quiet of the room, the only sound is the soft, steady rhythm of your breathing, a stark contrast to the chaos of your thoughts just moments before. 

But in the midst of your slumber, a persistent sound breaks through the silence, pulling you reluctantly back to reality. At first, it's just a faint noise, a distant echo in the depths of your dreams. But as it grows louder, more insistent, you're jolted awake by the realization that someone is knocking at your door.

Your head throbs with the remnants of your earlier drinking, the room spinning as you struggle to sit up. With a groan, you push yourself off the couch, stumbling towards the door with unsteady steps.

Outside, Changbin's voice cuts through the fog of your mind, his words urgent and frantic as he calls out your name. "Hey, are you in there? Open up, Y/N," he says, his voice tinged with worry.

You fumble with the lock, your hands shaking as you struggle to grasp the key. With a click, the door swings open, revealing Changbin's anxious face staring back at you.

He rushes forward, his arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. "Thank God you're okay. I've been calling and knocking for days," he says, his voice trembling with relief. "What happened? You haven't answered my calls or texts"

But beneath the relief in his voice lies a simmering undercurrent of frustration and concern. "Where have you been, Y/N?" he asks, his tone tinged with reproach. "I've been worried sick. I didn't know if you were hurt, or... or worse."

You flinch away, a surge of anger coursing through your veins. His sudden appearance only serves to reignite the flames of frustration and hurt that had been smoldering within you.

You take a step back, your voice dripping with sarcasm as you glare at him. "Oh, how thoughtful of you to grace me with your presence again," you say, your tone laced with bitterness. "Are you here to torture me some more, or have you finally come to your senses?"

Changbin recoils slightly, his eyes widening in surprise at the venom in your words. "No, Y/N that's not why I'm here," he protests, his voice tinged with desperation. "I came back to apologize, to make things right."

You scoff, the sound bitter on your lips. "Apologize? Is that supposed to make everything better?" You retort, your anger bubbling to the surface. "You left me alone, Changbin. You walked out without a second thought."

"Y/N, I... I'm sorry," he begins, his words cautious, as if walking on eggshells. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

You scoff, your anger refusing to abate, fuelled by the raw hurt festering deep within you. "I don't want your apology, Changbin," you snap, with bitterness in your tone. "You don't get to waltz back in here and expect everything to be okay. You hurt me."

Changbin's expression crumples with remorse, his desperation evident in every line of his face. "Y/N, please," he pleads, his voice thick with emotion. "I know I messed up, but I want to make it right. Please give me a chance to make things right between us."

"Why? Why should I?" you counter, your voice tinged with bitterness and hurt.

Changbin's eyes plead with you, his anguish laid bare for you to see. "Because I love you," he whispers, his voice cracking with emotion. "Because I can't bear the thought of losing you."

You scoff at his words, the pain in your heart too raw to be assuaged by mere declarations of love. "Oh? Is that supposed to erase everything?" you retort, your voice laced with disbelief. "You let your fears and insecurities drive you away, Changbin. You left me when I needed you the most."

Changbin's shoulders slump with the weight of your accusations, his gaze dropping to the floor in shame. "I know," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I'm sorry. I let my own demons cloud my judgment, and I hurt you in the process. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. Please, Y/N, give me a chance to prove it to you."

His words hang heavy in the air, a fragile plea for forgiveness amidst the wreckage of your relationship.

"I know I can't take back what I said, or the way I left," Changbin admits, his gaze unwavering as he meets your eyes. "But I want you to know that I never meant to make you feel like your dreams didn't matter. They do, Y/N , and I was wrong to make you feel otherwise."

Tears well up in your eyes at his apology, the sincerity in his voice piercing through the wall of hurt and anger that surrounds you. Despite your efforts to remain stoic, your face betrays the conflict within you, the emotions waging a silent battle beneath the surface.

"I understand if you need time," he continues. "But I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I promise to do better, to be there for you, to support you in pursuing your dreams, no matter where they may lead."

Your vision blurs as tears stream down your cheeks, mingling with the remnants of anger and hurt that still linger within you.

"I... I want to forgive you, Changbin," you manage to choke out between sobs, your voice wavering with emotion. "But it's just so hard..."

Your words trail off as you stumble slightly, your balance compromised by the lingering effects of the alcohol from the night before. Changbin's eyes widen in concern as he reaches out to steady you, his touch gentle against your trembling form.

"Are you okay, Y/N ?" he asks, his voice filled with worry as he takes in your disheveled appearance and the telltale signs of a hangover.

You shake your head, the room spinning around you as you struggle to remain upright. "I'm fine," you say, your words slurred with the remnants of sleep and alcohol. "Just... a little dizzy, that's all..."

You feel his arms around you, his warmth a stark contrast to the chill of the night air. Despite your anger, a part of you can't help but lean into his embrace, seeking comfort in his familiar presence.

Changbin's grip tightens around you, his concern palpable. "You're not fine, Y/N," he says, his voice soft but firm. "You're drunk, and you need help."

"I'm fine," you mumble, your words slurring together as you try to steady yourself against him.

But he isn't convinced, his brows furrowing with concern as he studies you intently. And then, realization dawns on his face as he pieces it all together.

"Did you... did you drink because of me?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, filled with a mixture of guilt and sorrow.

You can't bring yourself to meet his gaze, the weight of shame and regret settling heavily on your shoulders. "I... I don't know," you admit, your voice barely audible as you struggle to find the right words. "Maybe... maybe I did..."

Changbin's expression softens, his eyes filled with compassion as he wraps you in a comforting embrace. "I'm so sorry, Y/N," he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. "I never meant to drive you to this. I never meant to hurt you like this."

His words cut through the haze in your mind, and for a moment, you feel a flash of resentment. But as you struggle to keep your balance, you realize he's right.

You're not fine, not even close.

Changbin gently lifts you into his arms, cradling you like precious cargo as he carries you to the couch. With careful movements, he sets you down, ensuring you're comfortable before he disappears into the kitchen.

You watch him go, feeling a mix of emotions swirling within you. Despite the lingering tension, you can't help but appreciate Changbin's efforts to take care of you.

Minutes pass, and Changbin returns with a glass of water and a plate of sliced fruits. He places them on the coffee table before sitting beside you, his gaze filled with concern.

"Here, drink this," he says, handing you the glass of water. "It'll help with the dehydration."

You take a sip, grateful for the coolness of the water as it soothes your parched throat. Changbin watches you closely, his brow furrowed with worry. With a soft sigh, he reaches for the plate of sliced fruits, carefully selecting a piece and holding it out to you.

You hesitate for a moment, but the earnestness in Changbin's eyes urges you to comply. You take the fruit from him, feeling the sweetness of it on your tongue as you chew slowly, savoring each bite.

Changbin watches you intently, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he observes your reluctant compliance. He looks relieved, as if seeing you eat brings him a sense of comfort and reassurance.

Once you've finished the fruit, Changbin disappears into the kitchen once more, returning with a small packet of liquid IV and a fresh glass of water.

"Bottoms up." He says handing it to you.

"I don't need you to baby me," you snap, the words sharper than you intended.

Changbin recoils slightly, his expression a mix of hurt and concern. "I-I'm sorry," he stammers. "I just... I just want to make sure you're okay."

You sigh, the weight of your words settling heavily on your shoulders. "I know," you say softly, your tone gentler this time. "And I appreciate it, I really do. But I'm not helpless, Changbin. I can take care of myself."

Changbin's gaze softens, a tender smile playing on his lips. "I know you can, Y/N," he says, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "But that doesn't mean I can't take care of you too. I love you, and seeing you like this... it hurts me too." With gentle care, he offers you another piece of fruit.

You sigh softly, and without a word, you reach out and take the fruit from him.

As you finish the last of the fruit, you notice a shift in your body. The warmth from the alcohol is slowly dissipating, leaving you feeling cold and shivery. Changbin notices your discomfort immediately, his brows furrowing with concern.

"Are you feeling cold?" he asks softly, his voice filled with worry.

You nod weakly, the tremors becoming more pronounced as the alcohol wears off. Changbin springs into action, disappearing into the bedroom to retrieve some blankets. He returns moments later, a stack of soft blankets in his arms.

"Here, let me help you get warm," he says gently, draping the blankets over you with careful hands.

As he tucks the blankets around you, you feel a sudden urge to be closer to him. His warmth is inviting, comforting, and you find yourself reaching out to him, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards you.

"Binnie," you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper, "can you stay with me?"

Changbin's eyes soften at your request, a tender smile gracing his lips. Without hesitation, he settles beside you on the couch, wrapping his arms around you in a warm embrace.

"Of course, Y/N," he replies, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "I'll stay with you as long as you need me."

"I'm sorry, Changbin," you whisper, your voice laced with remorse. "I didn't mean to push you away. I know you're just trying to help."

Changbin's smile softens, his gaze filled with understanding. "I know, Y/N," he says, his voice gentle. "And I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to make you feel helpless. I just want to take care of you because I love you."

You lean into his embrace, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your chest. In that moment, you realize how much you truly love him, how much he means to you.

As you snuggle closer to Changbin, resting your head against his chest, you feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear. It's a comforting sound, a reminder of his presence and the love that surrounds you.

But as you listen to the gentle thud of his heart, you feel it begin to quicken, a subtle shift in tempo that doesn't go unnoticed. Changbin's arms around you tighten slightly, as if he's trying to hold you closer, to shield you from the storm of emotions brewing within him.

"Y/N," he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper, "I'm sorry for everything. I was wrong to argue with you about the job. You should take it. It's an incredible opportunity, and I shouldn't have stood in your way."

You lift your head from his chest, meeting his gaze with a soft smile. "Changbin, it's okay," you say gently, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair from his forehead. "I understand why you were worried, but you were just looking out for me."

Changbin's expression softens at your words, but there's still a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I know, but I shouldn't have been so selfish," he admits, his voice tinged with regret. "You deserve to chase your dreams, Y/N, even if it means being apart from me."

"Y/N," he murmurs, his voice tinged with uncertainty, "I want what's best for you. And if this job is truly the opportunity you've been waiting for, then you should take it."

You lift your head from his chest, meeting his gaze with a furrowed brow. "But what about us, Bin?" you ask softly, your voice filled with apprehension. "What about our relationship?"

Changbin's expression softens, his eyes searching yours for reassurance. "I want to be with you, Y/N," he says earnestly, his voice filled with conviction. "But I also want you to pursue your dreams. You shouldn't have to choose between us."

You feel a pang of guilt at his words, the weight of his sacrifice settling heavily on your shoulders. "I don't want to lose you, Binnie," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

Changbin's fingers trace gentle circles on your back, his touch a soothing balm to your conflicted soul. "You won't lose me, Y/N," he assures you.

For a moment, there's silence between you, the weight of your words hanging in the air like a promise. And then, without warning, Changbin pulls you into a tight embrace, holding you close as if he never wants to let you go.

"I love you, Y/N," he murmurs against your hair, his voice filled with love and gratitude. "I love you more than anything in this world."

And as you melt into his embrace, surrounded by the warmth of his love, you realize that this is where you belong - in Changbin's arms, with his heart beating in time with yours.

*·˚ᑉ³ M.LIST | Ko-Fi | Taglist | Thank you for your support | Consider leaving a comment, reblog or like | © 2024 Valkyriexo  licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 

#stray kids smau #skz smau #skz texts #stray kids #straykids x you #stray kids ff #straykids angst #skz imagines #straykids fluff #skz #skz x reader #bang chan #lee felix #lee know #minho #changbin #jeongin #seungmin #hyunjin #fainting #bangchan #stayville #changbin x you #changbin x reader #seo changbin #binnie

[cherrysnip]

sincerely yours - choi seungcheol

pairing: seungcheol x afab!reader

content: married life, dad!seungcheol's reaction when your daughter received a love letter.

(spoiler alert: he freaked out😭)

word count: 1.5k

Tuesday nights have always been Seungcheol's turn to wash the dishes. In retrospect, no one can even make him do a single household chore when he was younger. He grew up surrounded by helpers who were paid to do the job so he didn't try as much to learn them.

However, that changed when he married you. Probably it was because of how you were raised differently from him but you’re not comfortable of having other people hovering around your house to "do things you can do on your own". And unwilling as he was at first, Seungcheol just obeyed what you wanted because well, that's how whipped he is. (He'd undoubtedly say yes had you even declared the sky green.)

So here he is, seven years later, a "master" on the craft of washing the dishes. It's silly how such a simple thing could make him so happy but really, it wasn't easy for him to reach this point. He broke plates after plates that he swore at one point he saw you gritting your teeth like you were one thread away from strangling him.

But he said that every time you would smile at him and utter a soft thank you, hell, everything's worth it.

"Why are you smiling like a fool?"

He turned to see you leaning on the counter watching him with suspicion. A sheepish smile escaped from Seungcheol's lips as he reached out for a dry towel to wipe his hands.

"You don't have to know," he teased.

Your brows furrowed, "You better not be thinking of another woman or else..."

Seungcheol chuckled and walked towards you. He leaned, placing his hands on your sides, caging you on the counter. The action was so sudden it caught you off guard.

"How would I do that when you're everything I think about every waking day of my life? Hmm?" He planted a kiss on your shoulder which made you gasp. Years into your marriage but this little things your husband does still makes you giddy like a teenager. And of course, the blush spreading all over your face didn't escape Seungcheol, causing him to grin wider. Your reaction to his touch will always be his favorite drug.

"Now, you're just flattering me..." 

"I'm being sincere," Seungcheol insisted and met your eyes. "I still can't believe that after all these years, I'm actually married to you. How can I be so damn lucky?"

After he said that, your pouting lips turned into a wide smile. He is such a dork, you thought. You can't resist it anymore so you cupped his cheeks to kiss the tip of his nose. Being the competitive guy that he is, he did the same to you while chuckling. 

"I'm luckier to have married you, Cheollie. You're everything I've dreamed of a husband."

"Are you sure? I remember six years ago, you said you'll divorce me because I forgot to clean our room."

"Well, you already learned your lesson, didn't you?"

Seungcheol nodded, "I most certainly did."

"Oh by the way, I have something to tell you," you said a little bit later. Your arms were already wrapped around Seungcheol's waist with your chin on his broad chest.

"Baby no. 3?" Seungcheol asked hopefully and he only received a pinch on his side. "Aw! I'm just kidding sweetheart!"

"Tss," You removed yourself from Seungcheol but you still didn't let go of his arm while you gently dragged him to your living room. You picked up something from your coffee table and even though he was basically towering over you, he still wasn't able to have a clear sight of what it was because you were quick to hide it on your back.

"What is it?” He curiously asked but instead of answering him immediately, you slightly squeezed his arm."Promise me you won't have a heart attack?"

"How can I promise that sweetheart? Come on."

"Well, okay. Just please don't pass out."

"You're just making me nervous."

You pursed your lips and handed him the familiar heart-shaped paper. The last time he got a hold of something similar to this was during Valentine's Day and he almost lashed out. Good thing, you were able to prevent him from doing so. 

"W-what's the meaning of this?"

You clicked your tongue trying to supress your laughter. Knowing your husband, you kind of expected this reaction from him already. 

"Found that in your daughter's workbook. I was helping her with her assignment and that fell."

"Damn it! Seriously?" Seungcheol dramatically gasped and stared at the piece of paper again. "Sweetheart, you've already read this haven't you?"

"I did."

"And you're not bothered?"

"No, I'm not. Actually, I find it cute," you replied.

"It isn't." Seungcheol almost shouted but tried hard not to make it too loud because he was well aware the twins were already sleeping. "Look here sweet, whoever this kid was, confessed he has a crush on Chaewon and even wrote I LOVE YOU! He wrote I LOVE YOU to our daughter!"

You finally burst into fits of laughter, "What's wrong with that?"

Seungcheol was starting to get annoyed now but it immediately dissipated when you touched his arm and guided him to sit on the couch.

"Calm down Cheollie. It's just a simple note. No need to fret so much about it," you tried to ease him and Seungcheol sighed. He reached for your hand and pressed it as if he's trying to summon his lost composure.

"I mean...that kid wrote those words for our daughter. To our princess. And he's only what? Six years old? Does he even know what it means?"

"Don't insult the feelings of that kid, Cheollie. You yourself even proposed to someone when you were just what? Three?"

Shock passed through Seungcheol's face. He was just going to defend himself when you waved your free hand. "Don't even try to deny it. It was your mom who told me about it."

"Fine. But that's beside the point...last time it was Jungwon. Our little prince received a similar letter with three red roses on Valentine's Day and now it's Chaewon...and an I love you? God! The moment we received the result of your pregnancy test even felt like it just happened yesterday and now, they're receiving these...things. It's too fast. They're growing up too fast."

"Cheollie. It's not as if they're already marrying--"

Seungcheol was quick to cut off what you were supposed to say. "God no sweetheart! They're just six-year olds!"

"Exactly my point," You calmly said and closed the gap between you by hugging him and burying your face on the crook of Seungcheol's neck. "So loosen up, okay?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that... I know that after several years they'll grow up and will meet a lot of people. And then eventually, both of our kids will each meet the person they will love...but right now, I really just want them to enjoy their childhood first...is that too much to ask?" Seungcheol immediately stopped talking when he heard you sniffing. "Are you crying?"

You lifted your head and hurriedly wiped your tears without looking at him. "This is your fault."

"What did I do?" Seungcheol asked teasingly and helped dry your cheeks. "Okay, I'll stop being irrational now so you should stop crying too."

You immediately shook your head, "You're not being irrational. You're just being a good, scratch that, the best father you have always been. You're loving and responsible."

"And?"

"Fine. Handsome too. Very," they both chuckled. "Jungwon and Chaewon are sure lucky to have you as a father."

“And you as their mother," Seungcheol kissed your forehead.

"Seriously though," You suddenly said and peeked at the paper your husband was holding. "The kid is undeniably sweet writing a letter like that."

"Sweetheart..." He groaned and his plump red lips automatically turning into a pout like that of a kid sulking. 

"Sorry," you giggled. "I won't bring it up again."

You both just stayed on the couch for a long time hugging each other. And even with just that, everything felt perfect.

"Cheollie?" You called in a whisper.

"Hmm?"

"I just realized something after reading that kid's letter."

"Uhuh?" Seungcheol responded expectantly.

"That I don't say those words a lot to you," Your voice wavered. "Even if you very much deserved to hear it everyday."

Seungcheol can't help but smile because he is completely aware that you're not the most expressive when it comes to your feelings (which is a complete opposite of him) but he also knew that you have so much love to give and you just have a different way to express it. 

"Even if you don't say it everyday sweetheart, I can always feel your love for me and for the twins. And that, " Seungcheol hugged you tighter, "...is more than enough.

"But still, I feel like you want to hear it."

"I do but--"

"I love you, Cheollie." You said rather abruptly and buried your face on Seungcheol's chest. He could only laugh at your cuteness.

"Are you seriously acting shy now?"

Shame was definitely already creeping on your system so you slapped his chest and whined in a low voice, "Stop teasing me!"

With a contented smile, he whispered too.

"I love you more sweetheart."

—♡—

#svt #seventeen #svt scenarios #svt au #svt imagines #seventeen drabbles #seungcheol drabble #seungcheol fluff #svt fluff #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol x you #seungcheol x y/n

[dinossaurz]

Shit, not the pink ribbon skirt again.

Pairing: Emo!Mingi, F, Girly!reader, Emo!Yunho

Summary: She couldn't be different from both her best friends. She's all cute, popular and girlie. And they're... yeah, emo. Weirdos. They like her, she knows it. But they don't know it... yet.

WC: 2k

Genre: Fluff; maybe a little suggestive

Requested by: @zchnlswrld

Beta/proofread credit: @peachesyeo

A/N: It's just a little different from what you asked, but I can write it again if you doesn't like that.

I just hated so much what I've made here fkskfjskdj sorry

Nets: @newworldnet

Being popular isn't a hard thing.

Well, it shouldn't be, at least.

You've been lying in a chair, in the library, "hiding" yourself from some football players. With your bestfriends by your side, as always.

Mingi and Yunho never leaves your side, more specifically when you're up to be alone. They hate the mere thought of you being alone.

Or, better saying, they hate the mere thought of you being all alone in your fucking pink short skirts you love so much.

The skirt in question is short but not too much, and it has a huge pink ribbon on it's top.

You knew they also loves that skirt, to be really honest.

"So, Y/N, why you're here again?" Mingi whispered in a heavy tone.

"I'm hiding, of course." You says, in a low tone, trying to avoid the goosebumps Mingi's voice gave you.

"But you're friends with them, aren't you?" Yunho, who know exactly who you're hiding from, says with a frown.

"Ah… nope. I'm friend with you and Mingi. You know that, Yuyu." You missed the way he smiled at the nickname you gave him.

But you didn't need to see something knowing that something was off with both your bestfriends. I mean, you know them since always. You both grew togheter, being glued since childhood. You knew everything about each other. Well, they think you don't know one little thing.

The thing is… Yunho has a huge crush on you, and at the same time Mingi also has a huge crush on you. They don't know each other crushes, and they swear you don't know too. Little did they know you know everything since day one, and that's why you're always a tease to them.

You know exactly how to act around them, rushing your hands to theirs when you're side by side to them, "accidentally" passing your feet to their legs . And, of course, your little pink ribbon skirt with nothing less than your underwear under.

And that's exactly why you're here, by the library, acting like you're trying to hide. Your friends of the team knows you're trying up something to both your boys. Actually, they helped you with some advices.

"So, what are you up to today?" you asked, making them turn tables to your side.

Mingi arched his eyebrows, laying himself in the table, turning a little to look at your eyes. Again, you felt a goosebump up your spine.

"You're never curious about us, Y/N."

You know he was lying right now, but you didn't cared about that too much, then you just arched your eyebrow, mirroring Mingi.

"I'm going to play games all afternoon and maybe night." Yunho answered, his eyes a soft sight in your direction, and you just smiled in your plans working that easy.

"So, you're free at night?" you smiled brightly.

"Always free, actually." he answered, a little confused. He wanted to say he was always free to you, but he hold his own lips to open and say some shit.

"Yeah, me too." Mingi said, his voice a little sleepy. This big boy is always sleepy, to be honest, and that's what you think is the most cute thing about him.

The night after that, you were at the cinema near your complex. You lived near Yunho, so once he said he was leaving his house, you did the same.

You were nervous about your plains, because you were afraid to lose them both if you were wrong, even if their acts were too obvious sometimes.

When you saw Yunho arriving, you just jumped out off your thoughts, starting to sweat under your pretty pink top crop, matching your pink ribbon skirt.

Not far from where you and Yunho were, Mingi was also arriving. He saw you there, just waiting just as the cute brat you used to be around them.

And… shit, not the pink ribbon skirt again. He used to think you knew how hard you make him just by wearing this fucking piece of fabric.

He wished he could touch that fabric. It looked so soft by the touch, and he wished he could also feel your soft thigh between his hands and…

"Mingi!" he was cut off when he listened both your voice and Yunho's.

Mingi oppened a small and nervous smile, trying to wash off his dirty thoughts. He just passed his fingers through his hair (black just like the night).

"How long you're here?" Mingi asked, looking from Yunho to Y/N.

"I just arrived." Yunho said, smiling to them. "But I think Y/N's here for a little long."

"Nah, I arrived just a little before you." you smiled, playing with your hair that pulled off your braided hair.

All your nervousness just increased when the seconds passed by, and you considered turn back with your plan. But it was too late when your mouth oppened alone just to speak the things you rehearsed in your mirror in the past few days.

"Can… can we talk a bit. Y'know, before the movie start." you shyly smile, looking to your feets covered by a pair of blue all stars, a gift from Yunho. You just realised both of them where using their matching black converses with you. Then your smile switched from shy to a open one.

"I… Sure." Yunho said quietly, a little afraid that you would say you're dating someone.

He could barely only thought about you dating someone isn't him.

The tree of you were sitting by a table in a near cafe

You were holding a hot and sleeveless cup of coffee. You knew it would hurt your hand, but your mind was still a misty.

"I-I… I know something is happening. To… To the both of you." you said, a little faster and in a low tone. Your face was turned down, and you looked up when you listened them chocking with their drinks.

"Uh… I didn't understand… w-what you're talking about?" Yunho said, whiping his mouth, his hand shivering a little.

You turned your head to the opposite side again, avoiding their eyes.

"You're both acting weird when around me. And don't think i missed your heart eyes in my direction, Song Mingi." you said, not even taking a pause to breath. Your face turning pink like the colors of your clothing.

"You saw?" Mingi whispered, his face turning to a bright red.

You nodded, turning now to look at Yunho.

"And I know you've been jealous of my other friends." Yunho, that was looking down, probably praying that you never saw nothing weird in him.

"I always wondered if…" you started, but paused to take a sip in your coffee, to calm yourself with the hot liquid. "If you both also liked me."

You were looking to your fingers, a little pink because of the heat from the coffee cup.

"Y-you said... Also?" you could listen to Yunho's voice that he was a bit (maybe too much) nervous with what he just listened coming from the mouth of the girl he loves the most.

But... what confused Yunho the most was, how Y/N knew Mingi liked her before he even talked that to Yunho.

He washed the thought when he saw Mingi freezed looking to the girl.

"Min, are you..." Yunho started, but was cut by Mingi low voice.

"It means you really were teasing me... teasing us..." he corrected himself "with that... that...

"Skirt?" both the friends could see she was holding a grin when she looked down.

Oh, boy, both of them were so fucked and so melted and confused among her thin fingers.

"Since when you knew?" Mingi asked.

After she talked to them, the trio walked to the cinema, head in the clouds, they never really watched the movie, totally involved in talk to the girl sitting among the two towers.

"Maybe since the beginning?" you asked, not really searching for answers. Mingi scoffed in disbelief.

"I thought I was hiding my feelings very well, since no one said anything."

"Well... technically, I discovered Yunho's crush firstly." Yunho looked at you, his ears turning a little pink, just like your skirt, you thought. "You know, he always looked at me with those puppy eyes, and then he was looking at me like an all grown golden retriever."

You could feel Mingi holding his laugh by your side, you just joined him.

"Ya, you two... tsc." Yunho whispered holding a small smile.

"Could you please, stay silent?" A fourth voice appeared, and the three of you widen your eyes.

"Oh, sorry." You poked Yunho and Mingi's side, nodding them to get out of that place.

And that you did, laughing when finally out of room.

"So... what we going to do now? You know... about... all that..." Yunho was moving his hands so fast he almost slapped you.

You just hold his hands, squeezing both in your tiny hands.

"Calm down first, Yuyu." You assured, smiling a bit.

While you were looking into Yunho's soul, Mingi touched your shoulder, making you look at him, who was smiling.

That smile so long makes your heart flutter in your chest, then you just smiled back at him.

If someone from out your trio saw you with both of them, would be scandalized. The two boys were so tall, and that emo aura that followed them would make anyone run for their lives, but not you.

You loved them so much to just think about running away from them.

Then you just took Mingi's hand on yours, while still hold one of Yunho's. You looked at both of their eyes and smiled, letting a small smile in the corner of their lips, one each.

And then you just smiled again, seeing their confused faces.

#ateez #ateezfic #Mingi #Yunho #Emo Yungi #newworldnet #fluff

[vergess]

A work friend of mine's daughter has recently developed (?) schizophrenia. He seems to like my advice in general, and in particular thinks I gave him helpful advice about handling traumatic experiences he's had, and so talks to me about this a lot. I've tried to give advice along the lines of prioritizing her comfort/well-being/calmness over her "connection to reality" (his words), like not picking arguments over things she says in pursuit of correcting her, similar to taking care of someone with dementia.

Do you have any points I can focus on or resources I can look up to support him and by extension his daughter better? I'm not very familiar with the subject but do know that in looking this up I'm wading through a lot of stuff that's not very supported or with the schizophrenic person's well being and agency in mind.

You're exactly right about the comparison to dementia. Although not nearly as severe an illness, schizophrenia is one of those "redirect not reinforce" conditions.

So, one of the big things you can suggest, especially while the person is in the early period of onset (which can happen over the course of a year at any age, but usually between 20 and 30), is try to help them make plans for the future. Which sounds big and scary, but it mostly consists of honestly going through with them to make lists of the things they enjoy, the things that stress them out, etc. Because there is going to come a time, and it's sooner than anyone wants, where remembering what she finds relaxing will become impossible on her own (at least, during periods of high stress; she may always be able to self regulate in normal conditions).

Schizophrenia often makes people feel deeply afraid and out of control of their own thoughts, which is really scary!!

But your friend's daughter is likely still able to remember what things she enjoyed before the onset of her illness. Whenever she gets too wound up in a fearful delusion, rather than trying to combat the delusion, I suggest redirecting her to one of the things she enjoys, whatever that may be. A hobby, a movie, etc.

It's important that the idea for the redirection initially come from the schizophrenic person themself. This way, you can honestly say, "hey, remember when you said you like X, why don't we try some X together," and it be something reaffirming to the person's sense of control rather than fighting it.

Of course, if the delusion isn't fearful/scary/stressful, the best thing to do is to accept that it is her genuine reality right now, and just work around that belief. No need to start a fight and make it stressful.

Another thing is, and this is MUCH more controversial in the west but I'll go ahead and say it. Another thing is, if the daughter's voices are friendly or kind, to support her engaging with them (if she so chooses). This way if/when her voices become mean she can choose to "disengage" with them as a conscious change. In practical terms, this means if his daughter is ever having conversations with her voices that seem to be in good spirits, to treat that more like she is talking on the phone with someone you don't know, than to treat it as a scary hallucination.

Then, if the voices ever get mean, she can "give them the silent treatment" to help establish a sense of control over them and help her feel like she doesn't have to listen to them.

In a way, it can be good to conceptualize her voices as "influential strangers" and just encourage her to listen to good influences and ignore bad ones.

Finally, depending on where the daughter lives and her support needs, it might be good to get her registered with the healthcare service in your area sooner than later. In the US, a young person with schizophrenia automatically qualifies for medicaid and can also qualify for disability. Both will need to be applied for, and the application process is a byzantine mess.

Especially regarding disability, it is best to hire a lawyer to make your application (they will be paid out of your benefits not your pocket).

As such, if your coworker's daughter is unlikely to be able to live entirely on her own, including job, hygiene, travel, etc it's a good idea to get there registrations started ASAP. That way if the coworker ever becomes sick or when he eventually dies, etc the daughter can be supported.

If the daughter has low support needs and is likely to be able to live on her own (which can and does happen sometimes!! Even with schizophrenia), one of the biggest challenges she's going to face in the long term is going to the doctor.

Not only are doctors deeply, deeply scary to the mentally ill in the west (for good reason!), which makes doctors a prime target for delusions of fear and abuse. But also delusional thinking can interfere with a person's ability to identify their own body sensations.

EG, it is very common for schizophrenics to "be really angry and not know why" and it turns out it's because they have a UTI but couldn't feel it due to delusions. In fact, it's so common that one of the first things we do at work when a client is very upset like that, is ask them if they have been peeing more often (the answer is usually 'yes').

A huge part of the reason people with schizophrenia die young is the inability to tell when they are sick, followed by feeling unsafe going to the doctor.

Ultimately, the biggest thing to remember is that no matter how stressed or scared you are as a carer, the person with the illness is just as of more stressed. They aren't fighting you, they're fighting terror. Remembering that can make the intense demands of caring for someone with higher support needs less draining.

The second biggest thing is to remember to take time for yourself, because if you burn out as a carer, then you've left your kid without support for potentially months or years, and that's pretty bad compared to having them go to a fun adult program like a summer camp every day for a month while you recover.

Finally: there are more programs for schizophrenia support than you think. Even in my rural bumfuck town of 3000, we have two (2) different programs, including a year round day program that operates 5 days a week and takes walk ins.

Your coworker does not have to take care of his daughter alone. Support exists.

#Asks #Answered asks #arctangential

[bucksdaffy]

okay, so i've seen some people claim that tim minear is an avid buddie shipper and that he's slowly but surely laying the groundwork for buck and eddie to become canon in the future and...

i'm just thoroughly confused about this assertion.

i'll preface this by saying i'm very new to the fandom, so i'm prepared to be wrong about this. i'm aware i may lack crucial context because i've been here only so long. also, i don't know tim personally, so i obviously can't speak to his true intentions, but i'll make my case anyway.

i'll cite two RECENT comments by tim that i assume people might draw this conclusion from:

1. [?: There is a sect of the fandom that just wants 9-1-1 to be the Buck and Eddie show, and any cut that removes a second of them is going to get the same reaction. Nothing short of renaming the show "Christopher's Two Dads" is going to make them happy.] T: I totally get that. I even appreciate it. Which explains the entire first act of last night's episode. I kind of did for the Buck/Eddie fans (I mean I really do it for myself in the end). I just thought... they'd like it? Shrug. I liked it, so whatever.

2. Minear tells Rolling Stone that he hasn’t just been aware of fan reactions, he’s actually changed storylines in the past to avoid being accused of queerbaiting. But rather than help, he says it made the show worse. “Nobody wants to be accused of queerbaiting so I kind of stopped writing those characters together. And I think it hurt the show because I was so afraid to be accused of something that I wasn’t going where I would naturally go with the stories,” Minear says. “I just decided that I just have to write the thing that I think is right. I just have to be honest with the story I’m telling and let the chips fall where they may.”

now, i may be biased, but this doesn't read to me like he plans on buddie endgame at all.

while it's clear he loves the bond between buck and eddie and enjoys highlighting it in the show, saying he totally wants them to end up together feels like a reach.

he discusses being accused of queerbaiting in the past, which led him to backtrack a little and stop writing buck and eddie together. how does this suggest he did it because he wants buddie to become canon? if that were his intention he could have continued to drop more (apparent!) hints that buck and eddie may love each other in a non-platonic way. he wouldn't care about the accusations of queerbaiting so much, because he would be planning to make them canon all along. sure, there are external constraints that could prevent this from ever materializing, but that doesn't mean he couldn't write the dialogue in a clearly ambiguous way so that once he gets a pass and everyone else involved is on board with it, he could confirm that "yeah, you were right; it was a good ol' friends-to-lovers slow burn trope all along. congrats!!" no. instead he backtracked because he didn't want anyone to think he was writing buddie as anything other than a platonic relationship. that's it. but he eventually realized it doesn't really matter because people are going to think what they want to think regardless. and he obviously loves buck and eddie's friendship so he might as well just make the most out of it at this point. and if he ever feels like maybe it is a good time to turn their friendship into something more because it feels right for story, he'll go for it. but if not, he won't.

i see a lot of people claim buddie is a six-season-long slow burn, being carefully crafted right now for future canonization. and they say tim basically confirmed this. but i really can't see his comments being a confirmation of the sort.

if there are any quotes i'm missing that suggest otherwise, i would love to go through them. so if anyone's aware of any, please don't hesitate to hit me up.

but at the moment i believe y'all are just setting yourselves up for disappointment.

#i'm half asleep writing this #i don't even know if this makes sense #anyway #i'm open to discussion #if anyone has any thoughts on this i'll happily read through them #bucktommy #not tagging the other ship for reasons #evan buckley #tim minear

[shmolish]

(does a lil twirl) hi!!! hello!! i’ve never sent in an ask like this before, so sorry if i do something wrong o|-<! but what would be your take/your thoughts on a yandere shadow milk situation, where the reader truly starts to fight back, resist? 🤔

AN: Inspo from the song "Meant To be Yours."

Shadow Milk x Reader

Oneshot

Warnings: Yandere, toxic relationship, obsessing, manipulation, mentions of murder

-Locked Out-

"Come on doll, you're just being silly!"

A few knocks would be sounded on your door.

"I already told you. I'm not coming out until you agree to let me leave!"

Shadow Milk sighed. Surely you didn't think that something as simple as a door would be able to stop him... right? He almost found your stupidity amusing....

Oh well. Entertaining this small delusion of yours for a little while couldn't hurt.

"You know locking yourself in there kind of defeats the purpose of being able to escape, right?" He'd ask you.

...

"I don't care! I just don't want to see your stupid face. I hate you!"

And you'd keep repeating that last line over and over.

"I hate you."

He knew better than anyone that those words held no truth. They couldn't! How could you hate him when all he's been doing has been in your name?

He lived for you. He breathed for you. All of his thoughts were for you. It was all you, you, you, you, you!

You were akin to a beautiful bird. One that, if it were to ever escape, would surely be hunted down by others. That's why you needed to stay here, with him, where he could keep you safe.

Keeping you chained down was in your best intrets, even if it did strip you of your freedom... He was the only one who deserved to see you, after all.

"Listen, my doll. I love you so much. Why don't we just end this silly argument?"

His voice sounded so inciting, yet it was laced with a venom that would kill you if you ever let it in.

"No. Don't talk to me unless you're bringing me outside."

There you went again, acting all stubborn... It was a fun game at first, but it's now become a lot more troublesome.

"Open this door," he said, this time with much less leniency in his voice.

He said it in such a way that shook you to your very core. It was cold and uncaring, unlike his usual playful self.

But... you just knew you couldn't open that door. You'd basically be handing your freedom over to him.

"You know I hate it when you do these things-" a loud bang came from the other side of the door, "you always make it look like I'm the bad guy."

But you would not move. You did not open that door. You could not open that door.

"If this door isn't open in five seconds, I'm going to come in there myself."

...

What caused his personality to change so much?

"Five."

Why did it have to be you that he adored?

"Four."

Can't he just leave you alone?

"Three."

He's actually insane!

"Two."

Please go away...

"One."

....

You asked for this, Shadow Milk thought to himself. If only you had cooperated more. Maybe he wouldn't have to do these things. It really was all your fault.

He vanished into some shadows before swiftly reappearing on the other side of the door; where you were.

Ah, he just loved seeing your face full of fear.

We're you scared of him?

Good. You should be.

It's about time you realize who's really pulling the strings.

"You didn't really think escaping me would be so easy right? A simple locked door is hardly an obstacle, doll." He bent down in front of you, smiling and patting your head degradingly.

Tears would prick the corners of your glossy eyes as you realized you had lost.

"Oh, I've just had the most brilliant idea!" He leaned slightly closer to you. "You said you wanted to go outside, right?"

There wasn't a response from you, but you looked up at him ever so slightly.

"How about I bring you to a nice little village and slaughter each one of the residents in front of you?" His smile turned crazed, and there was hardly any sanity left in those eyes of his.

I mean, of course he'd never actually bring you outside. There was too much risk in something like that. He just needed to scare you a bit. Get you to submit.

You'd grab his arm and started to beg; quite pathetically at that.

"Don't-"

He just kept smiling, forcing you to your feet and dragging you around by the wrist.

"Wait! Don't do that please," You'd say in between a few sobs.

His grasp around your wrist tightened.

"Tell me you're sorry," he said.

"What-?"

"Apologize."

"I'm sorry.." your legs began to quiver and you'd take a small step away from him instinctly.

He cupped your face, bringing you closer to him. "For what?"

"For not listening."

It's strange, really. He was the one breaking you down, yet you were the one apologizing. It's scary how easy it is to get you crawling back to him.

"All right. I'll forgive you. But only because I'm so loving and understanding."

He brought your face to his, pushing his forehead against yours.

"Just know that next time I won't hesitate to kill all of them, and it'll be all your fault if I do."

《☆》 Fin

#crk #cookie run kingdom #crk x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader #cookie run #cookie run x reader #cookie run shadow milk cookie x reader #shadow milk crk #cookie run kingdom shadow milk cookie #shadow milk x reader #crk shadow milk #shadow milk #shadow milk cookie #shadow milk x reader crk #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere shadow milk cookie #yan shadow milk cookie #yan shadow milk cookie x reader #smc #yan smc x reade crk

[sincerely-sofie]

Chapter 9 of Sofie Plays "Slay the Princess": The Hero and the Princess (Round 4) + The Prisoner (Part 1)

Listen. I may be stupid. But I'm also dumb.

[ Beginning ] - [ Previous Part ] - [ Next Part ]

EYYYYYYYYYY this is personally relevant in a very darkly humorous way, right down to the wording! Loving the player character and how much I can project experiences with psychosis onto the guy.

Okay hear me out HEAR ME OUT, this is me stretching this quote SO FAR to mean what I want it to mean BUT. As far as we know, the player character is the only person the Princess has ever met. Is this the Ultra Princess commenting on the fact that she doesn't know anyone but the player character? Long Quiet Personification PC confirmed????

PC'S PERCEPTIONS OF THE PRINCESS INFLUENCE WHAT THEY BECOME!!! I WAS RIGHT!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOO

I'VE BEEN ITCHING TO TELL THE ULTRA PRINCESS ABOUT THE NARRATOR. FINALLY.

Oh shoot. Um. We appear to be closer to the ending than I thought...

YOU FRICKIN' FRICK I WANTED TO GO THROUGH THIS WHOLE GAME WITHOUT PICKING UP THE KNIFE EVEN ONCE. DANGNABBIT.

Nope don't like the fact that the music cut out the second I picked up the knife! Don't like that!

Princess I don't think you quite realize that there are more awkward starts to a relationship and I speak from a painful degree of experience.

Asked her how I can get her out of here and the flashbacks are returning TTnTT

VERY deliberately avoiding the bait that is that upper dialogue option.

Why is dismemberment always the answer with these two?

Was this an option last time??? Was this an option the whole time and I missed it because I took ages to realize I could scroll through the options menu??? FRICK.

"I'll make this quick" she says. I don't like the confidence in her tone or the ramifications of how that will affect my perception of her and the way she manifests next time.

Welp. It really was quick this time. At least there's that.

WHOA WHOA WHOA HOLD ON. The Princess has been a prisoner this whole time. That's been one of her most defining, fundamental character traits. Is this chapter title implying that she wasn't as much of a prisoner as I thought?

New party member! Mr. The Narrator you should understand the struggles of being a disembodied voice. Improvise, adapt, overcome.

First thought on the Skeptic was that I didn't like him. He is now one of my absolute faves.

MIRROR TIME! MIRROR TIME! MIRROR TIME!

I'LL GET YOU ONE DAY YOU REFLECTIVE MANIAC.

I refused to take the blade and the Skeptic is digging in his heels about it. I don't like the revelation with Skeptic picking up the blade that Voices other than the Narrator are able to control my body.

I don't want to choose violence. I want to choose happy endings and love stories ;w; Guys. Guys please.

... Why is that one manacle empty?

The Hero is sweating bullets and wondering if the Princess is going to behead herself to get out of here and I'm dying laughing despite my nerves.

The Skeptic just called the Narrator pathetic, to which the Narrator basically said "WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER SAID I WASN'T." At least he's self-aware.

PC: Hey, who's that other chain for? Princess: Wouldn't you like to know, feather boy. Narrator: *deep, deep sigh*

Did a lot of beating around the bush talking about who has more reason to distrust the other. Pretty sure the only way out of this is to behead her, and I'm really curious about the empty shackle. Gonna check that out first and then cut her out myself.

Narrator's huffy about me examining the shackle. Buddy it's an inanimate object, and I'm pretty sure you're not very motivated to trap me using it like you always get with locking the door to the basement.

Skeptic just asked "And what? Is it going to lock the second we put our wrist into it?" and I have done a 180. That thing is definitely locking onto us if we put it on. Still gonna put it on because that's what the Contrarian would say to do if he was with us and I miss him.

Either way, even if my bad decisions result in us being chained up, we still have the blade. Beheading is still an option.

Oh goodie, the music cut out! That's a good sign!

NOOOOO IT'S THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY OWN ACTIONS

Dying at how the Princess's expression changes to one of mild disappointment.

Beheading is no longer an option :(

The Skeptic just pointed out that the chain is clearly special, and I'm hearing Kill Bill sirens and remembering that one time the Narrator said I was special during the Beast chapter.

*pops confetti popper* iiiiiit's DISMEMBERMENT TIIIIIME!

(Ran out of images to include in this. See y'all in the next one!)

#slay the princess #stp #sofie liveblogs stuff

[phoelipop]

I finally started reading Loveless and its been so painfully relatable like nothing I've ever experienced before

Back in 2015 was when I first learned about asexuality but I was in denial for a while because I didn't think it was real / just thought it was an internet thing. After learning more about it, I realized how much it aligns with my life and experiences I had growing up... but I didn't wanna believe that was me.

Around 2018 was when I fully accepted that I'm ace, I know that without a doubt. I never liked using labels for myself but once I found about asexuality it felt so freeing, knowing the way I am is perfectly fine and normal and that there are others like me.

And for the past year and a half I guess I've been having that same battle with myself over whether or not I'm aro too. I've never had an actual relationship (that i wanted to be in), nor have I ever really wanted one. Like others, I also forced myself or lied about crushes to fit in, never wanted to pursue a relationship with anyone tho. It's all what friends ever cared about, and yeah it's normal! But growing up not actually wanting those things made me feel very not normal.

But I'm human, I don't want to be alone. We're raised to believe romantic love is the one goal in our society and you're miserable without love. I've never been miserable not having a relationship, the only time i was was when I thought I had to and forced myself into them, just because someone liked me i thought I would start to like them back if i tried. I didn't of course and it was terrible. But I still wanted to be open to the possibility that one day I'll meet someone that will change all that. I don't really think that's possible for me and, I'm just starting to believe that's ok now.

Selfship always felt safe for me since it's fiction, and I did try to find friends and a sense of community through it, but again learned even in this I'm different. It's different for everyone though, but even with selfship sometimes I find it hard to relate to others when it comes to expressing love. I dunno… But I've always been happy with my fictional loves and my friends + family, that has always been enough for me.

This book has also made me want to be a better friend… I admit I've been so distant lately with everything going on in my life rn its been hard to see my worth sometimes and believe that I'm actually loved by my friends but trying to work on it… platonic love is just as important, even more so especially for us aroace-spec peeps

#phoe speaks #asexuality #aromantic #aroace #having these big 'am i aroace' thoughts on Luffy's bday aka THE aroace king

[iverna]

I've been in a creative slump lately, and I think I finally figured out why, and I want to share because maybe I'm not the only one.

So AI is here. And fandom engagement is wayyy down. And it feels like there are a dozen different ways that you're devalued as an artist/writer/any kind of creative person who makes and shares stuff. I've seen people talk about the lack of engagement and positive feedback, and that's definitely a trend as well and doesn't help. But there's something else at work as well.

I thought I was just burned out, maybe a little depressed, but I actually do have creative energy. I do stuff all the time. I'm full of ideas. It's only when it comes to fanart and fanfic and basically anything I'd share online that I sit down to do it and immediately want to give up and fall asleep.

I think I finally know why. What happens is, I make a thing, I share a thing... and it's met not with hate, or silence, but with demands for more. Every fic writer has probably run into this, the comments that just say "more please" or "when will you update". We all hate it. It makes you want to never update again. But when it's only the occasional comment, you shrug it off, maybe complain to your friends, done.

But I feel like it happens way more nowadays. It's a general shift in attitude. People do it with everything now. I like this thing, give me more of it. And I kind of get it, but also, I don't. Not to the extent it's happening at the moment.

The textbook example for me is still Rogue One. People loved it... and demanded a sequel. For Rogue One. A movie in which every single main character dies at the end, and which leads literally directly into A New Hope. What would a sequel even be about? The five minutes Leia spent running from Vader? It makes zero sense. The sequel to Rogue One already exists, it's called A New Hope and it came out over forty years ago.

But they didn't think about that. They didn't give a moment's thought to what a sequel could be, they just wanted more.

And as the person who made it, that reaction tells me a) you didn't pay a single ounce of attention to what I made because you're asking for something that makes no sense and b) nothing I make is or will ever be enough. The reaction is always "make more".

And that is just demotivating as hell. If nothing I do is ever enough, why even try? I might as well give up. If posting something means I'll have people demanding more, it's better I don't post anything. There's also, I think, a part of me that has her arms crossed and is refusing to make any more stuff for those people. But that's a small part of it. Most of it is honestly just an overwhelming feeling of wanting to give up. Which explains why it feels so much like depression.

So we've got this environment where people just demand more and can never get enough, and don't even really appreciate what they have because they're too busy demanding the next new thing. And it's not flat-out hate, I know some people will even insist it's a positive - after all, would I ask for more if I didn't like the thing? - and that's what's made it so hard to notice what's happening. It's like the attitude just sneaks into your brain and poisons you from the inside.

So I think this how I got to where I'm at currently. I hate it here. I hate sitting down to draw or write and immediately going "meh". I'm going to work out getting out of it. I can't change people, so I'll have to find a better way to deal with the situation, a way to keep it from doing this to me. I don't know how yet, but that's the next step.

I just wanted to share to see if it resonates with anyone, if anyone else feels like this? I only started figuring it out yesterday when it sort of hit me, so maybe it doesn't entirely make sense yet, but yeah. That's where I'm at.

#idk how to tag this really #artist woes #would love to hear if anyone feels similarly #or has any solutions even #do NOT want to hear from anyone who insists it's meant with love #or whatever #because tbh it doesn't matter how it's meant #my feelings are my feelings #and i'm sick of people trying to argue them away

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR Rambles 21

Hah. Green seeing through Vio's eyes his past mistakes haha.

"Now, onto the human towns! We'll burn them all! Spread darkness to the horizons!"

True to his word that's what he did.

Vio is uh. Rather sickened by this.

Yeah blame it on altitude sickness Vio.

Riding on Shadow's lack of knowledge of humans was a good play though.

It's been awhile since we touched on Vio masking around Shadow to save his own ass. But dude had to have been going through it during these events. And I feel like if FS had a longer run time and a T rating we could have actually seen the affects of playing evil had on him.

It couldn't have been easy.

I just like the idea he struggled a LOT more than the og manga gives us any hints towards.

Like he said to Green in the previous flashback he had to watch Shadow no doubt MURDER people and stand by and do nothing.

That'd fuck with his head.

Yeah Vio's thoughts became consumed by how little he wanted to die.

I've always had the personal head cannon that he decided to shatter the mirror after the dragon ride SPECIFIFCALLY because he'd reached his limit on how much he could allow Shadow to do and just, stand by and watch.

He'd been complicate in almost killing Red and Blue, which would fuck with somebody enough.

Had to presumably face vaati in cannon (And in FSR actually did)

Like I've brought up a few times: Why would he even BOTHER making a plan with Shadow to free Zelda if he didn't intend to act on it? Literally outside of giving Shadow hope it served no real purpose...

UnLESS that was his plan but he couldn't follow through.

Which is what I personally go with here.

Vio just fully cracked. Being so stressed out he stress vomits oomf.

Poor guy. Still being consumed by the thought he needs to act normal after EVERYTHING he's been through.

Paralyzed with fear regret and self loathing Vio just crumbles to the floor.

His main thought here is that he doesn't HAVE to kill shadow if he can just hold onto the plan he made.

But as we'll see, his resolve is crumbling faster and faster.

Vio placed so much burden on his own shoulders he crumbled. Trying to do this mission entirely by himself utterly destroyed him.

Vio's been COMPLETLY ALONE here. As much as Shadow thought they were buddy buddy Vio could NEVER fully confide in him and has been ALONE since the forest. Perhaps things would be different if he had someone by his side who also knew of his plans. But he hasn't been able to be honest or had an outlet for all his feelings for DAYS now at least. Possibly longer.

I think I've ranted before about how HIS arc was about learning to lean on his team mates and I wanted to feed into that.

Except Vio doesn't really come to that conclusion now but rather decides he just needs to get out of this scenario right the fuck now.

Which is why since I'm trying to build off the manga: he acts VERY RASH.

Because imo that scene where he gets pissed is just, so badly written due to the manga's context and shit but I digress... (I don't like Tingle's inclusion much at all tbh he doesn't add literally anything to the story and instead fucks up Vio's arc. Bla bla I've went on this rant many times.)

It finally just hit him.

He's unable to keep this up.

As he steels his resolve to do what he's about to do.

Vio's monologue here really dips into how I think he'd end up in a LOT of denial.

He's just telling himself lie after lie to justify the situation he ended up in and his new choices he'll make.

And it all culminates to.

And we know the events of the manga haha.

I liked portraying just how desperate Vio was in these circumstances since again: I don't think the manga portrayed it at maximum capacity cause of the A rating and left most of it up to interpretation.

I like adding Vio's thoughts where we otherwise have no real clue what he was thinking at the time. It's a lot of fun. XD

"What's sitting on me"

More like WHO Green. XD

Apparently showing others things takes a bigger toll on Dark compared to just viewing it by himself.

He's very unenthusiastic even when saying "Yay Dark Link" XD

Green just, stares in utter horror soaking in everything he just witnessed through Vio's perspective.

Oh boy someone cracked like an egg.

Funny how your eye glitched there Green.

Dark Link's "Wtf is wrong with YOU?" Face never ceases to make me smile. Dude's so weirded out by Green just breaking here.

Green's self hating outburst is so jarring to Dark he tries to interrupt him.

Though Dark's nervousness could be for a LOT OF reasons:

He could just be genuinely shocked and worried for Green. Which I think is valid since Dark hasn't really seen someone act this way before.

But also, whenever anybody is angry (Vaati and Shadow): They tend to take it out on him physically.

Dark's reactions is straight up like "Fuck did I break him???" X'D

It's funny how much Dark's perspective on making them suffer has changed.

From delighting in Vio's terror to being disturbed at Green's mental breakdown.

Green's rant is pretty self evidently aimed at his own actions. Thinking he couldn't ever relate to what Vio went through, and considering himself worthless garbage which. oomf ouch buddy.

Dark does quite frankly the funniest things he could do by just, aggressively rubbing his face against Green's like a cat.

Mmm. Darkgreen.

Okay but seriously I just love these two's dynamic. XD

Green's practically BEGGING this "evil dude" to reprimand him and tell him he's an awful leader and horrible at everything he's tried to do and he's just NOT getting that energy from Dark at ALL.

Dark's made his thoughts on Green pretty clear, he thinks Green's a good hero even with his mistakes.

Specifically the fourth panel where he's got the star eyes you can really tell the dude has admiration for Green. XD

I just love Dark's face after Green blurts out that he doesn't do enough too.

It's like he had to really think about what he was going to say in response to that.

Usually when Dark thinks someone is wrong he'll call them stupid in some capacity, but here he takes a different route.

Dark's response is really, simple.

A genuine question.

"...When will it be enough Green?"

Dark's standards for what a hero are and what he deems a good hero or person are rather...tilted but he's accurately called out Vaati and Shadow for shit and he's not afraid to be brutally honest.

I think the brutal honesty of this statement is showing just how vacuous and large the shit Green has put on his own shoulders that he nor Dark know the end of what he's truly signed up for.

And that realization makes Green just break further.

Apologizing that he shouldn't even be able to confide in Dark someone who thus far hasn't even really complained about Green's breakdown at all.

Green's dialogue in the last panel is telling about how he's facing a lot of guilt in breaking down in front of Dark because technically: He should be protecting everyone FROM HIM.

He's breaking down in front of someone who's for all intensive purposes their ENEMY and their current biggest issue.

The guy Green has to decide whether or not to KILL.

And Dark's the one giving in his own way comfort to HIM.

This scenario from Green's perspective at least is all sorts of screwed up.

Poor baby's so stressed he reverts to his manga design

Green further goes onto say that telling Dark his insecurities was a mistake.

Which, is a fair thing to say lol. Dude essentially trauma dumped on Dark XDDD

Literally when I was drawing this scene I thought of this meme lmfao.

Which is awful but I have shitposter brain.

Smth I like about panel 3 & 4 is how Dark goes to wipe away Green's tears. Which is something Green did for him earlier.

Dark can and will reflect positivity if it's given to him.

People keep only feeding him negativity but Green showed him unconditional kindness and he gave it back.

I like how they have a positive effect on each other despite everything haha.

Again peeking into Dark's twisted idea of pain and pleasure.

He's just happy to be suffering WITH someone for a change. Misery loves company.

Green kinda asks a kinda dumb question here. But him asking if Dark feels "hurt" isn't a completely weird question...Like. This thing is a monstrous curse wearing your face it isn't far off to try to clarify some stuff. XD

Dark's response is just, kinda sad.

He's always suffering and always in pain.

Green's quick to try and play off his avoidance of an answer to Zelda and SHadow as Dark keeping him in the head space but ahhh...

Green buddy...You're choosing to stay here with Dark. XD

Dark's quick to point that out too lmfao.

I especially love how he immediately gets disapointed Green is saying smth stupid by asking if he "got hit with the same stupid" which just is a hilarious way to word saying something dumb.

I just like that he can flip from cute to intimidating evil guy in a blink of an eye. XDDD

So Dark's monologue here I got stuff to say haha.

Dark immediately isn't a fan of the idea of being by himself, by his continuous emphasis of being LEFT alone, "By MYSELF...ALONE" The idea Green would be abandoning him in some way if he left.

Also him just aggressively gripping green's face like he's trying to hold onto him in some capacity to keep him there. Oomf.

Often times Dark's "Evil villain" mannerisms like grabbing people isn't him being purposely space invading and sinister but his desperate subconscious pleas for SOMEONE to stay close to him. He's not going out of his way to make people uncomfortable.

He's so unintentionally stereotypically evil and I like that about him haha. He knows to an extent he's intimidating but isn't TRYING to be.

I think that's a fun contrast with Shadow who goes out of his way to invade people's space to MAKE them uncomfortable (like Vio in the woods hah)

Back to his dialogue. He points out Green doesn't want to leave either.

Which is true.

"Cause if you leave...you'll have to return to responsibility. Pretending the sorce of your problems is in the hands of some horrible demon that ensnared you... Instead of a product of your own misgivings and foolishness"

This is in reference to the here and now but ALSO when Green was hunted in the pyramid. He got himself into that situation too haha.

Dark referring to himself as a "horrible demon" shows that he's HIGHLY aware of how Green is perceiving him to a degree.

Green in a way wants to believe Dark Link is pure evil. Which would make the choice he has to make whether or not to spare him easier. Like Shadow said. if he was mindless this would be MUCH EASIER. It'd a a no brainer. But he's NOT and that results in a lot of pain over what to do about him.

A lot of Dark's questions have been rhetorical. He KNOWS Green is pretty much USING him right now to avoid responsibility and is KINDA fine with that?

He makes a light hearted (At least in his opinion) jab that Green's being selfish and taking up his time when he "promised" Blue earlier he'd spend time with him. (Which is funny considering time doesn't really exist here) Being visibly embarrassed Green in a round about way WANTS to spend time with him.

On the HORRIFYING realization about what Dark confessed to planning Green PANICS.

Reasonably he knows what Dark considers "Fun" even if he's not being outright malicious.

Also not so fun visual fact: Dark flinches when Green grabs him.

Which is just sad how he's just used to getting the crap kicked out of him that he fully expected Green to hit him.

Okay I'd be totally skimping out on dumb FSR facts if I didn't tell ya "Love like mine" wasn't a song I listened to on repeat while drawing this scene.

Very strong DarkGreen vibes XDDD "I'll make ya scream and I'll make you want it! You can be my ride or die" mmm delicious. Give more more. Finally some good fucking food.

Anyway page lol.

Dark realizing Green is holding his hand is just kinda cute. Like of course that's what he'd care about lmfao.

Meanwhile Green's full panicking about Dark confessing he was gonna go mentally fuck with Blue later. XDDD

Like dude's on his knees begging Dark not to, even offering to trade places.

I mean, what'd really be the difference after all?

He's gotta bear all the burdens...Doesn't he?

Link's put that pressure on him at least.

It kinda just shows how self punishing Green is at this point. Thinking he fucked up so bad he needs Dark to take it out on him.

Which isn't the POINT of what Dark does. Dark only really haunts them as a means to an end to keep them split and Vaati safe, but also as his own selfish desire to connect with them. Like how he spoke to Vio after Blue ran off.

Green seeking someone to hold him accountable for SOMETHING is just, oomf.

I think it's fun to dive into the idea Green REALLY doesn't know if Dark is faking being kind to him.

I mean, their biggest adversaries lied to them via transforming and using their loved ones MUTLIPLE TIMES. (Vaati shifting into Zelda, using their dad against them, even Vio 'turning' on them, trust would be something VERY HARD TO DO at that point I think.) Deception on the enemy's side isn't unexpected at all.

That he's hinging on the slightest chance Dark IS being genuine with him that he'll listen and not hurt the people he cares about. Whether or not Dark has Free will AT ALL.

He is a curse, it's not far fetched to think he just... CAN'T NOT do what he's designed to do.

Dark for his part is at first, contemplative.

Green's really showing just how AWFUL what he does to people is in a lot of ways. Dark has a certain cognitive disconnect in the sense he struggles to accept in a lot of ways how he truly affects Link.

Though reading Green's mind he distracts himself with "Lol wtf are you doing and what does it prove?" When Green makes the assumption that if he can change Dark's mind than he really is a person who can be reasoned with.

People can be reasoned with, mindless program following curses can not. UwU

Turns out begging is smth Dark's into lmfao so Green's pleading tickled a nerve.

I fucking love Dark's wrong word usage to describe things.

The idea Green WANTS HIM for him to STAY with Green just fills the guy with joy. Even if it's just because Green's being self hating and desperate to save his team mates.

Dark Link likes being wanted.

Green is WANTED by people, and being wanted by GREEN specifically just makes the guy just so happy.

And Dark struggles to really fully describe what he's feeling in the moment because genuine JOY isn't something this guy is getting very often.

Baby is so happy he cries.

Dark's just such a sad dude.

Expressing he's just happy Green cares about him. Mentioning Blue here too but Green is showing compassion for Dark in the sense he doesn't WANT to hurt him.

By HOPING for Dark to be able to be reasoned with, by wanting Dark to be someone he could talk to he IS caring about Dark's safety which isn't smth the dude has gotten from ANYONE ELSE so far.

he even confides he wishes he could stay with Green forever and just be happy with him which is just all sorts of sad.

Ooomf these pages fuck me up man.

Dark LOVES the idea of being with Green. Someone he not only idolizes but the ONLY person so far who has given a single solitary shit about him.

He's so lonely and SO sick of being a conduit for sadness that this sounds infinitely more appealing to him. (Who could blame him lmfao)

Smth to note is how Green is kinda hesitant to fully wrap his arms around Dark Link until it truely sets in for him that Dark truly is just a sad lonely individual who's in a lot of ways a fellow victim as well.

Dark being the one to push Green away, to reject the idea they'd just stay together is pretty telling.

He HAS to "Work"...If he doesn't...

The thought of Vaati dying is just, too distressing for Dark to even fully consider abandoning his mission to do something he'd personally like better.

I just, LOVE the dialogue in panel 3 here.

It's so blatantly ignorant in it's childishness but honest.

It's the kind of thing a child would say about their divorced parents or something lmfao.

Just a simple want without thinking of the greater picture that goes with things and WHY things are the way they are.

Dark Link just can't fathom why the people he loves have to hate each other so much. Why they can't just "get along".

Why he has to work at all.

It's just Dark being bluntly honest about how he feels about this entire situation.

Unlike Green, in the final panel Dark finally steels what little resolve he has and states "I don't wanna do anything either...but I have to"

Both are EXAUSTED and at their wits ends and that's smth I like to this dynamic.

If either were more set in fighting each other they'd both BE fighting. For all intensive purposes THEY SHOULD BE.

But because they're both so exhausted they're actually able to talk about how they feel.

Dark once again compares Zelda to Vaati.

In how his devotion is similar to Link's devotion to Zelda.

Protecting Vaati IS what is most important to him.

And he knows he's doing something wrong on SOME level because he apologizes to Green. His hat curled against him defensively.

Green is once again in panic mode since what little leverage he had is slipping through his grasp as Dark steels himself against Green's attempts at persuading him.

Also Green lmao Dark has big dick back pain disorder watch were you grab him-

But he does make a good point in his frantic pleads.

Protecting Vaati doesn't necessarily mean hurting them...

That was Dark's approach as a mindless curse...but now that he is a person with a sense of morality, a sense of heroics. Will he still abide by that strategy?

Green's frantic ramblings are just funny as hell but also his diplomacy should get a sticker or smth. Dude's fighting for his life rn. XD

Dark starts to crack under Green's onslaught of LOGIC.

Smth I like to add to that is how Dark's hair faded out of being green while he talked about his feelings before but switches BACK to being green as Green talks.

And then he rejects it to think for himself for a second to really ponder Green's words.

My favorite bit of his "STFU" dialogue is just to tell Green to "STOP MAKING SENSE!!!" which is so funny to me.

SO much about Dark's original purpose has been thrown out of whack due to the progression of things. Vaati's demands are rather nonsensical.

He comes to the realization that things HAVE changed and he needs to adapt accordingly.

To some extent: Dark is just COMPELLED to act heroic and he even considers himself failing in the regard that he's been NOT acting heroic lately.

The more Dark becomes sentient. The more he feels the need to act heroic. Which is curious.

Green's diplomacy worked Yippieeeee!

Also Dark's hair continues to be grey here which imo was always just to show these really were his own thoughts and he wasn't just mimicking Green.

Dark's willing to "Try" things Green's way.

Smth I like is his act of making a pinky promise with Green. Smth just so blatantly childish in it's innocence.

But Green's compelled to believe him due to just how dang excited the dude is to give it a try.

Lmfao. Him acknowledging up front he's not sure how well things will go is just extra "Dark trying to be honest" flare. Which I find fun. He's willing to try his best but won't lie and pretend it'll go perfectly. XD

Green framing Dark going to get Blue as "A mission" was simultaneously stupid as fuck but also smart idea. XD

He doesn't know where Blue ran off to...but DARK LINK DOES.

And Since Dark was going to speak to Blue anyway, might as well tell him to bring him home. XDD

On the other hand: Trusting Dark Link is probably a bad idea. XDDD

Green's gambling hard but doesn't have much of a choice.

Green adding on "I'm trusting you" while looking Dark in the eye is just the cherry on top.

MMMGH I wanna continue ranting but we reached the image limit.

#four swords returns #four swords returns au #four swords adventures #four swords manga #four swords #loz fsr au #loz #dark link #fsr #fsr rambles #FSR rambles

[scekrex]

Male!reader x Adam NSFW prompt.. (I love these two..)

maybe an inexperienced reader x Adam but like it's their first time?? I think it could make some pretty good fluff too!

Oh fuck yeah that's good! I'm so fucking sorry that it took me so incredibly long to write this but! this is probably the longest thing I've ever written. Enjoy 3.3k words of smut

Let's make a mess and cross the line, you and me a masterpiece

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, anal sex

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

All those stupid instagram posts that had stated ‘No one dies a virgin, life fucks us all’ might’ve been true, yet none of these posts coudl’ve prepared you for the first sexual experience ever. Because despite the jokes the posts had been cracking, you had in fact died as a virgin and therefore you had only the slightest idea of what you were supposed to do. Good thing Adam was on the experienced side when it came to this - he had been bragging about how all of his sexual partners had always experienced an orgasm when they had been with him, how true those words were, you didn’t know, but you trusted him and his skillful mouth enough to believe his words. For now.

“Just fucking lay down and let the dickmaster do the fucking work, babes,” the brunette said and therefore gave you a task - something to work with, even if that meant to just lay down. It was something easy you could do. “Are you sure? I want you to enjoy this t-” the first man interrupted you by grabbing your jaw firmly yet soft enough to not hurt you - he wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible and scaring you by being too harsh wouldn’t help at all. “Babes,” his usually playful tone was all gone, all that you heard in his voice was seriousness, “I will, okay? Fucking lay down.” And as he spoke those words, his free hand came to first rest on your chest, then he started to press you down until your back hit the mattress. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath as you felt the softness of the fitted sheet against your naked skin. Fuck, were you really going to do this? Yeah, yeah you were and despite having only the slightest idea on how to act, you were okay. Like you knew how this would work out - two men having sex - you weren’t stupid after all. You had seen it in porn, you had read about it in books, you knew how this would go, you knew how it worked in general, but reading about it and doing it felt worlds apart now that you were about to lose your virginity. Yet Adam seemed to notice your inner conflict and he sighed as he lifted his hand from your chest and let go of your jaw, his once firm touch turned soft as he stroked your side up and down with his left hand, sitting next to you like a god - though you knew he wasn’t, he surely lived up to the angelic status. “You need to relax,” he hummed as his golden eyes roamed over your body, watching your muscles twitch under his gaze. He looked at you like you were the only one for him, like you were all he’d ever need, all he’d ever want. He looked at you with love, love he only had for you, love he would never give to somebody else. “Otherwise it’s gonna hurt,” and while that was all he voiced out loud, you heard the unspoken ‘And I don’t wanna hurt you’ so loud and so clear inside your head that for a tiny moment, you thought he had actually said those words.

You leaned into his touch like it was the most natural thing to do and listening to his soft voice brought comfort, you wanted him to keep talking yet you didn’t ask for it, would it be too much? Too weird? You didn’t know, all you knew was that you didn’t want to fuck this up. What if you overstepped by requesting too much and he would never want to have sex with you again? There were too many thoughts screaming inside your head, too many worries that took over your mind, that prevented you from relaxing because how could you relax when you had no idea what to do while Adam seemed to know it all? How were you supposed to bring pleasure to the first man when you didn’t know how? Sure, you could jerk him off but that wouldn’t be enough, would it?

The brunette watched you for a moment, watched as your muscles continued to twitch, how your body seemed so stiff, so far from relaxed and even though your eyes remained close, he could feel how unsure you were. “Y/N,” his voice was slightly louder than a whisper and if the room wouldn’t be as quiet as it was, you would’ve missed it, but oh how pretty your name sounded when it fell from his lips, he made it sound so holy, so divine. “We don’t have to fucking do anything.” That made you open your eyes, you lifted your head and looked him right in the eyes, that’s when he saw the worries that you were bottling up reflecting in your eyes. And he felt sorry for it, he felt sorry for the fact that he hasn’t got the words to offer you comfort - he has never been good with that. No one had ever comforted him so how was he supposed to know how to comfort other people? “You don’t want to?” was the first thing you asked, oh you were so scared of rejection, so afraid to not be good enough and Adam really hated the fact that he saw so much of himself inside of you. But while you were open about those feelings, he stored them deep inside, had locked them up and put on a cocky act to hide them as best as possible. Adam’s hand stopped at your waist, he grabbed a hold of it and pulled you a little closer to him, “I fucking want,” he replied quickly, assuring that he was indeed looking forward to having sex with you, “But do you?”

The question was left unanswered for a couple minutes, minutes you spent thinking. You did, that you were certain about, but you were also scared. So, so scared that you wouldn’t be good enough. “I-,” you interrupted yourself, breaking eye contact by tilting your head sideways, away from Adam. Dear God, why couldn’t you just tell him? It would make it so much easier, but you were also afraid of that because being afraid of having sex sounded so weird, so childish to your own ears - would he even understand? You didn’t know, on one hand you hoped he would on the other was Adam bragging about how good he was in bed - did he ever have any problems with having sex, has he ever felt as nervous as you were feeling? You doubted that.

The brunette waited for you to continue talking, he wanted to hear what you had to say. Though he thought he already knew, so he tried to help by voicing your feelings for you, “You’re scared.” And coming from him, it sounded so simple, like a small issue he could easily take care of. He managed to make it sound like the smallest problem in all of existence. “Yeah,” was your answer, spoken quietly, embarrassed by the fact that you were feeling the way you did. “That’s fucking okay,” was his response and even though he sounded genuine, you weren’t sure if you could believe his words. Because how could it be okay to be scared of having sex? There was not a single reason that justified your fear in the slightest bit and yet Adam acted like it was the most normal thing in the world - you really didn’t know if you hated or loved him for that. “We’re gonna take this fucking slow, babes,” the first man continued, “As fucking slow as you want.” He grabbed you by your upper arms and pulled your torso up, you were now sitting next to him again. “You’re gonna ride me,” and even though you knew he had his reasons for choosing a different position, you were even more scared of that sudden change. Now you were to do the work, after all. “That way you can pick the pace,” oh now that made a lot more sense and actually eased your worries at least a little bit. That way you had more control. “Okay.” And it seemed like it actually was okay.

The brunette got up to strip himself out of his underwear, then he sat down next to you again and you really couldn’t help but stare because how in the name of the mighty lord above was this about to fit inside of you? There was simply no way he’d fit all of it in - was that even important now? Probably not, yet to you it kinda was. Because how was this supposed to feel good for Adam when- The first man interrupted the train of thoughts that were running through your head by grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him, “Less fucking thinking and more focusing on me, babes.” You looked him in the eyes, gave him a small nod and then started to crawl up in his lap, once seated somewhat comfortably, you tilted your head to look up to him, “So uhm, am I just gonna…?” As you spoke you carefully wrapped one hand around his dick, causing a muffled moan to fall from his lips as he watched your every move. You were about to lift yourself up by grabbing a hold of his shoulder, but he stopped you, pushing you back down again, “I’m not gonna fuck your brains out without fucking preparation.” Normally he’d snap his fingers and get to the part where his dick would get wet, but he wanted to prepare you properly, not only because it was your first time in general, but also because it was the first time for the both of you together, he wanted this to be memorable, he wanted to please you in all the right ways, show you that there was nothing to be afraid of, that this was all about pleasure.

So he wrapped his arm around your waist and lifted your body up effortlessly, his free hand found its way to your ass, he got you used to his touch first my playfully squeezing your ass cheeks, then he slowly moved his index finger towards your entrance, giving you more than enough time to mentally prepare for what was about to come, with the hand he used to hold your body up he snapped his fingers, the cool liquid that was suddenly covering your entrance and his fingers made you flinch, it had been so unexpected yet it didn’t cause you to feel uncomfortable. As his index finger started to circle your hole, he hummed, “Don’t forget to fucking breathe, don’t want ya cute ass to pass out.” And that made you smile a little, his comment made the air feel less heavy and took some of the seriousness away - how he had done it? You had no clue. And then he slowly pushed his finger past the ring of muscles and you inhaled deeply, kept the air inside of your lungs until it started to burn, then you exhaled. The brunette watched you carefully, because while he was impatient to fuck your brains out, to make you feel divine, he also wanted to go slow on you - for now. Once his entire finger found its place inside of you, Adam spoke up again, “I won’t fucking move unless you say so. Take your sweet fucking time getting used to it, babes.” And while you felt like you should get used to it as quickly as possible to not keep him waiting longer than necessary - the hard dick in your hand twitched in excitement - you also trusted his words and took them to heart.

It took you a while to get used to the new feeling, to the feeling of being filled up, because while you had done that to yourself in the past out of pure curiosity, being opened up by somebody else - let alone your partner - felt so different, so much better. So you gave him the okay to move his finger and he was eager to comply, the thrusts were soft and slow they gave you time to adjust, to get used to it. Then the tip of his second finger brushed against your entrance and you swallowed hard, you knew the second finger would bring pain, that it would start to stretch you open properly, you were also aware of the fact that the second finger wouldn’t be the last - especially not with the size of Adam’s dick. “Relax babe#s,” Adam hummed as the hand that he didn’t try to bury in your ass came up to slightly tilt your head upwards, forcing your eyes to meet his. “I’m not gonna hurt your handsome ass, got it?” and while to others his words would sound harsh, maybe even insensitive, you knew that this was the most sensitive and ensuring he could offer, he tried his best to make you feel confident about having sex for the first time and you silently thanked him by nodding at his words. You knew he would not purposely hurt you, that has never been the problem in the first place, yet you were absolutely nervous about the natural burning pain that would follow soon as his second finger slowly started to enter you. But the pain never came and when you seeked for an answer in Adam’s eyes as to why that was, the first man gave you a familiar cocky smile and a promising wink, “Told you I won’t hurt your fucking ass.” And that you had to give him, there was no pain. At all. Not when the second finger had entered you, not when the brunette decided it was time for the third finger and even the fourth finger went in effortlessly without bringing any kind of discomfort with it.

“I think,” you whispered, hands on his hips as you gently fucked yourself up and down his fingers, the feeling of being sp full was still a little strange but the longer Adam kept his fingers buried inside of you, the more used yo u got to the feeling and the easier it was for you to let loose and give up some control, to let lust and desire take over. “I think I’m ready,” your voice was quiet as you finished your sentence, a thing Adam did not like since he’d rather see you filled with confidence, but he understood - or at least he tried his best to do so. A grin met your unsure eyes, “Yeah? Think you can take the og dick like you were fucking made for it?” The way he worded it made you shiver a little, because that was exactly what you wanted, you wanted for your body to swallow your lover’s dick like God had created you to do so. And so you gave Adam a firm yet silent nod, the grin that appeared on his lips at your reaction was almost devilish, “Words, babes.” - “Yes.”

That simple word was enough for Adam to withdraw his fingers and line his dick up against your entrance, before he pushed you down onto his erection, something deep within his eyes shifted, “If it gets too fucking much, tell me. Immediately.” And as soon as he heard another, “Yes,” from you, he slowly started to push your hips down, inch by inch, taking his time. He dug his nails in the soft flesh of your waist to keep him from bottoming out, he held onto every little bit of self control he was able to find within himself, he wanted this to last. Not only that though, he also wanted you to enjoy your first time with him, he wanted you to show you all he had to offer while also making sure you got pleasure from it. So he forced himself with all the willpower his body held to go as slow as possible.

His eyes were locked onto yours, making sure that the only emotions reflecting from them were positive ones, angelic magic be blessed for taking the pain away from you. And then your ass cheeks finally pressed themselves against his hips and Adam had managed to bury himself inside of you entirely without hurting you at all. Your face was scrunched up from the pleasure and the feeling of being filled up - his dick felt so much better, so much more fitting than his fingers. Just as the brunette wanted to check in with you and make sure you were okay you started to move your hips upwards, then you sunk down again and instead of checking on you, the first man moaned out a curse and tilted his head backwards. His reaction filled you with confidence and you repeated your motion as Adam’s nails dug deeper into your soft flesh. He tried his best to hold onto the remaining self control - to no avail though. It only took him a couple seconds before he started to eagerly meet your moves halfway through. His hips made no contact with the mattress anymore, he was too needy, too eager to bury himself inside of you over and over again. Your hands held onto his shoulders in order to make it easier to push yourself up and down. “Fuck, so fucking good,” the first man mumbled as his desperate eyes seeked your confident ones, that look he liked way better on you, especially because the confidence in your eyes was clouded by desire and neediness. You needed him to fill you up just as badly as he wanted to stain your insides with his cum.

The slow yet precise movements with which it had started grew quicker and sloppier with each thrust, with each moan and cry for more. And then the tip of Adam’s dick brushed against a spot that caused you to arch your back and your mind was filled with one thought only. You wanted Adam in every way possible, wanted him to dick you down, fill you up, make you see stars. You wanted him to rail your brains out but your lips were not able to voice those desires of yours, so you simply quickened the pace of your hip movement. A loud moan of his name fell from your lips as your hips tried to quicken the pace, the brunette’s hands on your hips prevented you from doing so. While normally he would enjoy a quicker and rougher pace, for your first time with him he wanted to keep it a little softer, wanted to not fuck your ass sore. You on the other hand seemed to have other plans. As his dick continued to press against that sweet spot inside of you, your hands nails dug into Adam’s shoulders as you pushed your body up and down as forcefully as possible - which basically meant as forceful as Adam let you. “Chill the fuck out, babes, ym dick ain’t going fucking nowhere, you can fuck yourself silly on it for the rest of fucking eternity,” the brunette huffed out breathlessly as he finally loosened his grip and let you set the pace to something more rough and harder, to something quicker and sloppier. Oh and how the both of you were enjoying it, Adam getting lost in the tight heat that surrounded his dick and you losing your mind as you pushed your body up and down Adam’s dick. It felt like you were high on drugs - not that you ever really did drugs, but you imagined this would come close to smoking weed, everything the two of you did, every little movement, every noise, every breath you and Adam were taking - it all felt divine and holy. Like God had wanted it to happen right then and there.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x y/n #adam x reader #adam x you