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#i get rly worked up and have a hard time sorting out everything i wanna say LOL
yuukei-yikes · 7 months
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care for my kagepro au inspired by phineas and ferb across the 2nd dimension where they hang out in a dark undisclosed location and they all have knives
this is extremely over the top and supposed to be funny btw. ayano's plot hole plan that makes no sense doesn't work but from another angle. she gets spit back from the daze in the same way it doesn't make sense for her to stay in there and she's still in THE AIR FROM JUMPING so erm she shatters a leg and maybe her spine too. fun times. she walks with a limp now
ayano in the daze's like. but i wanted this -> i deserved this -> im guilty i got what i wanted though -> i deserve punishment -> this IS punishment -> but i wanted this (restart) SO in this scenario where she survived she's still struggling with guilt because she DARED try to take the easy way out when she knew her siblings needed her. so now she's edgelord I must protect my siblings i dont deserve my cape (edgily puts scarf away) also the eyepatch is for extra edgelord vibes but i think it'd be cool if she can't control favoring because she's so all over the place so it's always active, and since she feels so much regret she can only project that one memory of her jumping to ppl. sad. so she covers it for the sake of everyone.
because of ayano's survival it's evident kenjirou is posessed so ayano+mekatrio move out immediately and are in actual hiding from him. that's why they're at undisclosed location. seto brings mary with them. so ayano's like ok, saeru wants all the snakes together, they're all gonna gather anyway it's better to have them all in one place and have eyes on them. so she starts the gathering process herself. in this saeru is extremely just Out There cartoonishly taking over the city style i told you this is based on phineas and ferb. i told you. btw the joke is that it's insanely over the top. i just find it episodic and joyful.
also ayano's cold to shintaro because she can't afford to have her feelings for him distract her, she has no right to normal teenage girl feelings like a CRUSH. but shintaro still believes kano as ayano saying IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT was the real ayano which matches with her new behaviour towards him so he's extremely pathetic about it. he's with her through her entire recovery and becomes her right hand man which the trio HAAATE bc ayano doesn't let them do anything but shintaro can always come<3 their missions go from buying groceries to saving haruka and takane from the evil lab to kidnapping hibiya and hiyori. shit like that.
they get hibiya and hiyori and it's their BIGGEST PRIORITY to protect them because they're saeru's next target and if they can avoid having all snakes out it's by making sure these 2 stay alive. erm they don't wanna be there though. it's dark in here and you're all weird as hell. momo is tasked with babysitting them. she's not happy about it.
momo never gets her money controlled, dropped out from school since day 1 and the fame got to her head so she's kinda awful. she's the only one allowed out of wherever the fuck they are because of work she's literally the one paying 4 everything. toxic yuri situation with kido who has one side of their head shaved. you know how it goes. also kido acts rly tough like they're out there killing thugs and goons but mostly they just make food
takane is the medic in the same way barbers used to be surgeons in the middle age which means everyone tries really hard not to get hurt so they don't have to go to her. also saeru's whole Experiments on haruka and takane thing is a lot more evil and ermmm she has one less leg and she's permanently connected to a reactor thing of sorts so she's also the team's tech! woohoo!! it's unknown whether she got opening eyes or not because she has no idea how to activate it which makes ayano rly frustrated. same goes for haruka who has not woken up since aug 15. which is the main reason takane started watching youtube tutorials on medicine. get you a girl who will take care of you if you're in a coma and there is no access to a hospital.
seto and mary wield weapons for one reason or another. kano is extremely guilty about shintaro's guilt but also hates him more than ever bc ayano won't trust him anymore and now shintaro's the one knowing everything. probably some doomed yaoi in there somewhere. this is my evil kagepro au
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straycalamities · 10 months
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no for real the onceler fandom when i was a huge part of it (2015/2016) was so fuckin toxic half the people left bc everyone was praising one or two blogs and acting like everyone else was dirt. it was super discouraging and i ran about 3 blogs and the only interactions i ever got was from people starting drama :(
im not sure what the askblog scene looks like today but im HOPING and PRAYING its better
eughh im sorry that sounds like absolute hell...i barely dipped my toes in because i was recovering from Stuff (stuff that took me to this year to get over enough to even make another personal blog) so i wasnt Too up-to-date with what was going on in the fandom from 2015 tooo 2019?ish? even if i popped in on entre's blog time to time, but i've heard stuff from others and friends
i think the askblog scene is A LOT more chill these days. a lot more lax and there's sooo much just...Less of everything that it makes things easier to like take in stride at least to me compared to 2012-2014 days where everything was so intense, extreme, and constant
there's still the like ghosts of the same issues that've been present since day one but its like...on a MUCH lesser scale. i honestly think it's pretty good all things considered :) the only thing that makes it rly hard for me compared to past eras is how split the fandom is uhhh app/site-wise (like its very much spread across tiktok, tumblr, twitter, discord, maybe more...idk) and so it feels like im missing out if i dont keep up everywhere LMAO and each location comes with its own issues either population-wise or site/app-wise
i miss how centralized it used to be to tumblr u_u and obviously having more content to look at back in the day, i got very spoiled on it so when i peruse the fandom content its like a lot less to look at but thats honestly GOOD FOR ME BC I HAVE NO TIME NOW LMAOOOO but its just like strange bc im like woah i dont have to scroll for an hour on entres dash anymore to catch up
well i do, but that's bc i have no time to check it on work days and so it piles up for when i do sit and take the time. cant imagine the hell i'd be in if it was 2012-era activity
ppl who had full-time jobs in the fandom in 2012 damn...i salute you.
unfortunately with a fandom as niche as this, it kinda cooks up the same issues over and over again and it makes me wish there was some sort of disclaimer that popped up as soon as you wanted to join the fandom to give you a rundown on how the culture is, who the people are, what the past drama was (so dont bring it up again), and all that LMFAO like a onceler fandom 101 that was just beamed into your device when you were like hmm what if i joined the onceler fandom LMAO
i kinda wanna do something like that specifically for askblogs? like a dos and donts. or "things i wish i knew when i started an askblog" type of thing but alas..no time. bc i see other mods go through the same obstacles/difficulties i went through and learned to either change my thinking on, or something else to either help me get past it/over it or at least cope better and id wanna pass that on if the fandoms gonna keep getting revived every two or so years and then cave in on itself from the same rehashed drama/problems it always has :sob emoji:
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ncytiri · 1 year
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OC TAG GAME
tagged by: @nuclearstorms, thank you bones!!! 💗 tagging: anyone who has ocs they want to talk about! please tag me if you do because i wanna read about yours!! template by @sehyune / picrew
✦ favorite oc
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zafira al-sentinel (skyrim)
all of my ocs are so dear to me but i think if i had to pick one, it would be zafira <3 she is one of my oldest too (i think this year she will be maybeeeee 6 years old?) because i have been playing with variations of her since my junior year of high school so she is like a true day one :') she is such a sweetheart and loves helping people and loves animals!!! she's sort of a reluctant hero and didn't really wanna be dovahkiin but realized she could use her powers for good :')))
✦ newest oc
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jang mi-cha (fallout 3)
i recently started playing fallout 3 for the first time since it came out??? because i rmr playing it when i was like 8 and being way too scared by it KSDLFKJS so i figured to give it another shot! so this is ms. mi-cha!! my lone wanderer and for my playthrough, she is half korean, half black (going off of the fact that catherine's game model is black which i never knew until i started going through the fallout wiki!) and she is a lil smartypants <3 and OFC she's bi (she dated amata when they were young teens but realized they were better as friends and they were each others first kisses!!)
✦ oldest oc
refer to the seventh question because i realized mara is in fact my oldest oc but i didn't wanna rewrite that here so yeah! see mara's info down there 🫶
✦ meanest oc
this is crazy i don't actually have a true mean oc... i can't help but make nice characters 😔 he doesn't count since he isn't my oc but i do play around with miraak from skyrim and he is such an asshole but he's my little asshole <3
✦ softest oc
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deon cameron (state of decay 2)
MY SWEET BOYYYYY (i say abt a 25 year old man), deon is definitely the softest oc i have so far, he is the second in command, later the leader, of my first community in state of decay 2, the fragments! he took over the position after his best friend (and crush) max's mental health started to decline as a result of stuff he had to do as warlord (a subclass of hero in sod2) :( he is a very kind hearted man, always wanting what is best for the settlement and as a trader hero, he established a trading outpost at their homebase allowing for traders from around the region to come and trade! he also looooves animals and specialized in pathology to help create more plague samples and became one of the settlement's main medics! he is a very busy man but he doesn't care what is thrown his way, as long as it means that the settlement and the valley is safe!!
✦ most aloof/standoffish oc
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venus (cyberpunk 2077)
it comes as no surprise as someone who was once embroiled in arasaka's innerworkings and coming from a family who was thoroughly involved in arasaka business would be standoffish but after being backstabbed by a higher up in a botched assassination attempt on another higher up and having everything she had worked so hard to earn taken away in the blink of an eye, it's no wonder that venus is the way she is :/ but don't let her steely expression and sharp words get to you too much, once you crack through her touch outer shell, you will find a woman who wants nothing more than to be loved and trusted :/ she rly does have a heart of gold tho, she kept it quietly but when she was still employed at arasaka, a small chunk of her paycheck went towards a school for inner city kids to help fund their educations and provide teachers with supplies 💗
✦ dumbest (affectionate) oc
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mara sanchez (saints row 2)
i mean. if you have seen saints row 2 in any way, either played it or watched a playthrough of it, you will see how much of a dumb (affectionate) game it is 😭 i believe mara is my oldest oc omg... this bitch has been with me for 10+ years?? that's actually so crazy to think abt omg... anywho, mara is the boss of the third street saints and is genuinely one unserious women. she is fashionable as hell and likes to appear a professional, well kept lady but she is anything but 💀 has been caught streaking multiple times on the beach during a night out with her crew, once got stuck hanging out the side of a helicopter during a mission with her underwear on full display, advertises open house free weed "tastings" at the university district apartment, joined a coed curling team at the university when she was younger for the hell of it... just a very unserious woman
✦ smartest oc
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xolia vene (star wars) and jang mi-cha (fallout 3)
i already mentioned mi-cha being a smart lady in her section but i felt i would mention her here once more <3 and ms. xolia my beloved... she is a benefactor for the resistance in my sequel trilogy rewrite and i can't decide whether i want her to run a nice nightclub or be like an art gallery curator that is able to shuffle money around without suspicion... but yes! she was orphaned as a young child and taken in by a wealthy family from naboo who later saw their oldest child become the senator of naboo and xolia sort of followed in her sister's footsteps during her teenage years, shadowing her and learning the inner workings of the galactic senate. she is a very attentive and smart woman and i love her dearly 💓
✦ oc you'd be best friends with irl
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vernon (cyberpunk 2077)
VERNONNNNN named after vernon from the kpop group seventeen and also inspired by vernon himself! he is a nomad and just such a little comedian, even though he is a pretty quiet guy! like when he is in the right atmosphere, around the right people, he will be the absolute life of the party. he is a major cat lover and is looking to adopt whatever cat he might stumble upon in night city. i think vernon and i would get along super well for all of these reasons but specifically the part abt being cat lovers!
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gokubrain · 3 years
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hey sorry if this seems rude but do you personally feel like Vegeta's redemption arc was well executed? I ask because these past days I've been thinking it over and I realize that to me I think it was kind of wasted until certain parts of gt and the anime super. It started okay in the frieza saga, had that 1 really good moment near the end of the cell saga then kind of got dropped in the buu saga till the end because he only "settled down" but still didn't show it really. sorry again for the rant and if it seems rude, I just would like to hear your opinion on this.
omg i don’t think this is rude at all, ur totally entitled to ur opinion bro!!
tbh i don’t have a ton of room to talk on this?? because i haven’t seen GT or super (or... the buu arc I KNOW LMAO I KNOW but i’m getting to it i prommy, i’m rewatching the series rn so i’ll get there soon!! i also know a bunch of plot points from buu sooo...)
i think my major issue with vegeta’s redemption is that it’s kinda framed in a way that people chalk it up to like. him having a family and that being the reason he stopped being such a bad dude LOL LIKE. IDK IT REALLY RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY THAT PEOPLE ARE LIKE “wow... all vegeta needed was a woman to settle him down....” like... no no i dont think thats the intended message here LOL
but i’m kinda digressing LOL
like i said, i can’t speak too much on anything past cell arc. but i feel rly mixed on vegeta’s characterization lol, i don’t think it’s a secret that i’ve always been kinda negative towards it simply bc i think it’s not really,, that well done MDMFMF I MEAN IT’S FINE I GUESS BUT people are always talking about how vegeta’s redemption is iconic or whatever but i rly just. don’t agree lol
again though i think i just kind of cringe at the idea of people being like “oh vegeta knocked up this stranger he barely knew and now he’s a good guy” like it feels very ,, idk. 😬
but like yeah okay i agree with u that i feel like,,, a lot of things are kind of glossed over ?? like i feel like at the beginning of the android arc,, he’s just kind of. suddenly there and suddenly a “good guy” (i use that term so fucking liberally here because. holy shit? cell arc vegeta?? LMFAO yikes he is a mess)
like i get what you mean. i definitely think vegeta should have had a more in-depth exploration in terms of redemption. i would’ve loved to see his man vs self struggle really written out buuuuut akira toriyama doesn’t even like vegeta so i guess it’s to be expected 😭
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i4lixie · 2 years
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hey i love ur works , sorry if this is kinda random but i was wondering if you could write something abt felix comforting you after a bad breakup? soft or hard or both is fine idm length or anything either im just rly struggling & need some sort of way to escape with skz relating to my situation 😵‍💫
ohhh bby ofc :(( pls feel free to message me if u wanna talk at all. i hope this helps you. feel free to ask for more if you need it too.
I put a lillll paragraph of smut at the end, but it's nothing too bad.
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Felix would be the best, best friend during a breakup.
He would get you anything and everything you needed—snacks, water, blankets, anything. He would hold you close to his chest and let you cry as much as you needed, especially if you were having a particularly hard time. He would tell you to stay there as long as you needed. Even if you sat on the bed for hours on end, he wouldn't move, giving you a few sips of water between crying sessions.
"Whatever happened, whatever they did, you can get over it with time," he'd tell you, placing a kiss on your temple. Felix is the type to soak up everyones emotions and he wanted everyone to be happy at the same time, so having you so heartbroken next to him upset him just as much. "Time heals everything, I promise."
He'd also be with you as long as possible. Days, weeks, months-it didn't matter. If he had free time, it was spent with you, healing you and building you from the ground up.
He would go above and beyond to make you happier. Gifting you that skincare you wanted for a while, or some new shoes you didn't have the money to get yet. He'd bring food everyday and cook for you, and even feed you if you needed.
He wouldn't rush your healing time. He'd let you be as upset as you wanted to for as long as you needed to.
After a while of that, he'd start taking you on cute little friend dates, making you feel good and wanted. He'd hype out any outfit you were, even if it was just the minimal sweats and hoodie. No matter how you looked, he would call you gorgeous every time before he lifted his arm over your shoulder and led you to the location.
Sometimes, it was just late night drives with music filling the car. He put on whatever you wanted. Whether it be a popular Arctic Monkeys song or a Megan Thee Stallion track to hype yourself up, he'd be singing along and smiling at you with every passing lyric.
Sometimes, he'd really take you out. Parks or cafes were his favorite. He ordered you whatever drink you wanted and as many drinks as you wanted. He probably should've stopped you after five Starbucks drinks, but he couldn't help it. He was simping for you and gave no shits about it.
After Starbucks, he'd take you to the parks and push you on the swings or down the slides. He's such a light and airy person that his presence would instantly lift your spirits. Soon enough both of you were laughing your asses off, playing around the park like little kids.
And if you wanted it, he'd please you intimately too. He'd be screaming on the inside but if you just wanted his hand between your legs while you cuddled at night or him on top of you on your couch, he'd give it to you. He'd always put off his own pleasure too, no matter if he was so hard he was literally shaking. You were more important.
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lunareclipsee · 3 years
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so one thing i hc is that people SEVERELY underestimate angel.
i mean with david literally looming over them all the time it’s not a hard thing to do.
so asher and babe are like “you know what would be amazing. a double date at this new club that just opened up for empowered ppl and their partners”
so asher and babe go first just to see how it is and they LOVE it. it’s so fun and there are plenty of people just watching from the sidelines so nobody is really out of place. so they ask angel and david to come along.
of course at the door you have to have proof of the completion of that one class you have to take when you reveal the empowered world to unempowered ppl (i forgot what it’s called), but other than that it’s not rly mentioned who’s empowered and who isn’t.
so asher and babe are absolutely out dancing bc that’s more their scene, while angel and david are just content to watch their friends have fun. they’re sharing little jokes and laughing and shit, having a good time yk?
david has to go like take a phone call or piss idk he just has to step away for a minute. and angel is like ‘ok ily’ and starts vibing to the song that’s playing. everything is very nice and lighthearted until some dickhead water elemental comes up and starts trying to chat up angel. now, not only is angel wearing david’s jacket, they’re wearing his shirt too. and a necklace he got them. and a bracelet he got them. and- you get the picture. point is, angel is visibly taken.
but this little water elemental is like ��hey baby, you look pretty lonely. wanna head out with me?”
and angel pulls the most blank face they can muster before they’re like “hmm no, my boyfriend is here with me actually”
and the water elemental says something like “well i don’t see him here. he really shouldn’t leave a prize like you all alone. i promise it’ll be worth your while.”
angel is getting slightly annoyed at this point so they say “no offense, but if you’re not out of here in thirty seconds my boyfriend will be back and i promise you, he will smack your ass into the next fucking holiday”
cue this dude calling angel all sorts of names, anything he can think of just to try and get under their skin. but they want to have fun so they get up to go and hang with babe and asher.
and he grabs them.
so, naturally, angel grabs his wrist back and fucking judo flips his ass. poor mf is out of commission before he hits the ground 😭. david was about to step in bc he was walking back as he was calling angel names and he sees that and he just.
“i’m going to marry you.” running around this mfs head as asher loses his shit watching the literal heart eyes just permanently stay on david’s face all night.
anyways they have a very fun night otherwise and david bitches the WHOLE way home about how he has to get up to leave for work in two hours but he actually rly enjoyed being able to just relax completely for once.
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i8jisoo · 4 years
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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader
seungmin x reader | part seven of dad!skz
↬ genre; fluff & angst
↬ warnings; obviously pregnancy, talk of sex/condoms, talk of morning sickness, cursing, child-birth
↬ notes; i feel like my mental health is getting worse and it has been really hard to be positive but i finished this awhile ago, never posted it! just thought to post it today since i just reached 500 followers,, tysm everyone for the support on my posts and following me for content,, i’m waiting for enhypen debut rnnn, it’s really one of the only things keeping me happy n ready. my bias is jungwon :) he’s so adorable n cute i can’t wait + i hope to start writing for enhypen soon when i feel better,, ty guys <3
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the night was a one night stand
seungmin had no plans to see you after, you already gone by the morning so it made no different what he wanted afterwards
so with his number in your phone, you decided that texting him would be the best
you texted him your address, asking him to meet with you after u addressed who you were
the best maybe after twelve, seeing as how from nine to eleven you would be occupied with the toilet bowl, the morning sickness really weighing on you
hes there, ready to talk, looking great
ur just there in a t-shirt and sweatpants with slightly messy hair
you seat him on ur couch, pacing in the kitchen before actually beginning to talk
“it broke, or maybe you forgot. i don’t know but you, you got me pregnant.”
i honestly see seungmin being really innocent in this and he’s just made a bad decision which resulted in a baby
“wh-what? no, i used.. i..”
it dawns on him that he can’t remember slipping on a condom before
he’s turned white as a sheet, probably feeling more ill than you
he does the math, figuring you’re around two months, you’re not that far along obviously
“we don’t have to do this, you hardly know me.”
hes shaking his head quickly, “nono, i wanna.. i may never get this chance again. i might not ever meet someone again, so, if it’s with you? i’m fine with that.”
seungmin was there for the next appointment, fully supportive and stepping up
hes scared but so excited
he also moves out of the dorms, raising flags, but he keeps assuring everyone that he was just getting a change of scenery
he claims he got a dog but uh, there isn’t one
he actually moves in with u, an apartment that wasn’t too far away from the dorms and he will time to time spend the night if they need him to
ur actually really understanding of his career and u admire his adjustment
late night with him where u two go to a twenty-four hour convenience store and buy every junk food possible
u also acquired strange cravings such a pineapple and cream cheese or kimchi and chocolate sauce
that night however u rly had a craving for cheese and cheese only
it doesn’t last however, from three to five you are in the bathroom hunched over
he?? isnt?? actually?? the worst partner to get pregnant from a one stand with?????????????????????????????????????????
he’s pretty much a sweetheart
bless everyones heart though when they find out about you
“this is my friend, we are.. having a uh, baby!”
haha surprise...
u swore that jisung’s breath was lost when he said that
chan is fucken freaking out about this
“we’re gonna be uncles!”
everybody screaming and cheering which was a good sign
ur days are average and u guys just act like friends
friends having a baby lmfao
it’s a fine line between dating and not dating
seungmin reaaalllyy likes you but he has this bit of guilt in him for getting you pregnant
ur the one who uprooted your life and ur gonna have a kid for the rest of ur life with him and he’s still living his and doing what he loves
seungmin heart eyes motherfucker when u come to a concert, just there to see him n see what he does for a living
u guys get this cute ass picture of everyone lmfao i just imagine the boys and seungmin standing around and posing with ur small bump
he doesn’t get to go to every single appointment, so his first appointment he went to was when you were around six and a half months
he’s super excited and just super nervous
so many expecting moms its crazy
when your name is called and you two go back, he’s jumping out of his seat and going back with you
the doctor applies the gel on your stomach, the rounded bump sticking out prominently
his hand clasps around yours, fingers laced with yours and he gives you a warm smile
the screen flickers on and theres your baby
it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen
he can clearly see the legs and arms, theres the head!!! he can make out the toes and fingers
then u guys get to hear the heartbeat together
it’s so strong and he just,, wow.. this is real 😣
ur bearing his child, your guys’ baby,, he can hardly believe it
then the doctor asks if u two want to know the gender
“yeah.” 🥺🥺🥺
ofc u could’ve known before but u didn’t know if seungmin wanted to find out or wait n u just would feel guilty if u went ahead
he was rly trying to be as involved as possible, he had a busy schedule and u two weren’t even dating and this whole thing was happening secretly
they turn the monitor for you two to look at, pointing around
“there they are, we have a baby boy.”
seungmin is so taken aback, this all is so .. unreal for him
he’s ready to get the disc with ur ultrasound footage n the heartbeat but also the ultrasound photos 🥺 he’s so in love with your baby boy
u two are just sitting in the office after, ur wiping off ur belly n he’s just like
“i’m in love with you. you and our son — i know, we agreed to co-parenting and no feelings but,” his voice is so strained n he’s just so fragile n so utterly raw, “i couldn’t help it.”
ur fact at first is just frozen and slightly shocked
then ur like 😮🥺😣
“no, cause i was thinking the same exact thing.”
that seals the deal for u two pretty much, ur both emotional wrecks in the exam room
theres the boyfriend and girlfriend dynamic now — seungmin and you sleeping cuddled together
it wasn’t like you two didn’t cuddle before,, but it would usually end up with seungmin silently creeping out of bed or you softly removing his arm or you leaving him gently
u rely on him more, the final trimester hard on you and ur so exhausted and hurting
u two getting the nursery ready together which actually consists of u sitting down rather than actually doing anything
though u will have to teach this boy how to put away bibs and fold baby clothes
u two are young and u both have a lot of explaining to do to your own families, but they are supportive
they r more than happy to teach u two about children and giving tips on these things
blue nursery with lil teddy bears around and its just the cutest, props to room designer seungmin 🤓
baby boy is so stubborn, you’re past your due date and you both want him out
you two try a shit ton of things
name it all: pineapple, spicy foods, raspberry tea, daily walks around the block, literally everything
everything except for the obvious that had been recommended by your obgyn
sex.
both of you two hadn’t really explored in the topic of sex or anything of the sort, it was slightly awkward
you’re five days overdue now, which now you couldn’t even care
“please..! they said it works, even our ob said so!”
he is so cautious about this, but begrudgingly decides to proceed with this idea
he’s so sweet 🥺 but maybe a little too sweet because next thing you know is that two short hours later ur water breaks and u are in labor!!!!
both of you are vv nervous
his hyungs are right there to calm him down, asking you if ur okay and if u need anything
they rly adore their lil minnies baby mama & their lil nephew
seungmin is big daddy deffo
he’s so attached to u 🥺 it hurts to see u in so much pain and he can’t do much to take it away, but he will kiss ur forehead and wipe ur tears away
he personally finds u so angelic as u are quite literally coated in sweat and nearly breaking his hand
it’s finally over, you and seungmin both turning to the tiny baby that just came into the world, both of u crying while laughing at the beet red baby
theres your little baby boy in your arms, squirming at the new coldness and trying to move around in the blanket
all of the boys come in, excited to meet the baby
in amazement you made this adorable, small baby after one night
this experience was everything and more to you both, so glad you weren’t as careful one night and now had the greatest gift given to you: your small son who slept soundly in your arms
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©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.
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perenial · 3 years
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please feel free to ignore but what’s it actually like to get your phd? bc i’ve heard a thousand different opinions and thoughts and feelings on it, and i know it’s a lot of work and up to the individual program and what u do. but like, is it actually awful and the worst like everyone says it is? bc i need to go to grad school to move up job wise but idk if i wanna go through all that or just get my masters (again please feel free to ignore if this is too much! i know it’s a big question)
it's. hm. okay.
have you ever been in a sensory deprivation tank or something similar? when i was 16 i went on a family holiday to japan and i was lucky enough to go through this underground labyrinth called tainai meguri at kiyomizudera temple in kyoto. down there it's completely pitch black and you're told to remain silent, so the only thing guiding you forward is this balustrade of beaded rope that stretches from one end of the tunnel to the other. it takes about 7-10 minutes to walk the entire thing, but honestly? when i think back, i can't quantify what time felt like down there. even though i was surrounded by other tourists, all that felt real was my breath and the sensation of the beads rising and falling beneath my fingertips.
the thing about tainai meguri is that it's essentially a metaphor for birth. when you're down there, the darkness doesn't feel oppressive or scary – it's actually the reemergence into the light that makes you feel uncertain, the knowledge that Outside has all the sharp corners and clear edges that have melted underground. at the same time, you have this awareness that you could lose yourself in the darkness if you stayed, that taking your hand off the rope and wandering back would mean letting your own corners and edges flake away like ash drifting into dust.
it's super fucking surreal, and 100% what doing a phd is like
right now i'm 7 months in and it has been one of the most isolating experiences i've had throughout my education. you're absolutely right in that it's a hyper-individualised program; even your supervisor(s) don't know exactly what you're going through, because the purpose of a phd is to outclass them in your chosen field. i'm personally very aware of this: my thesis is an attempt to delineate a subfield within gender studies that doesn't really exist yet, so talking to my supervisors is essentially a game of telephone where majority of the time i'm just talking to myself. i'm also aware of how easily i can get lost in this – there are so many avenues i can go down and i've already had like three separate breakdowns over whether i should pursue them. it's incredibly tempting to just stay in this academic limbo where i read more and more existing literature to ask more and more questions instead of branching out and actually defining the parameters of my own thesis.
but
there's something you don't really think about when you're going through tainai meguri: you don't see the other people you're walking with until you reach the end. you know on some level that they were with you, that their hands brushed over the same beads, but it doesn't hit you until you step outside that for a few minutes there you were all in the exact same situation. and this is what it's like seeing people who have doctorates or masters of whatever – you see them at their most defined, their clearest, least ambiguous, most purposeful version of themselves and their work, and that's fucking terrifying. you're like, fuck me, those guys are so brave, they're so smart for having figured it out, but the truth is they just kept stepping forward. they were in the same comforting darkness as you and decided to keep walking, and everything else just sort of.....fell into place around them the closer they got to the end.
this is a rly long and complicated way of saying phd programs are the ultimate illusion trick, where everyone looks professional and no one knows what the fuck they're doing until the very end. it's hard and lonely and confusing and time consuming; it's also an incredibly profound experience to carve out this specific part of your life for the sake of researching something you care about. if you're tossing up whether or not to do a phd (or any project imo), i suppose the question it comes down to is this: do you trust yourself in the dark? and if you do, do you trust yourself enough to leave it?
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piet-ra · 3 years
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Taylor Swift x Catradora Masterlist
So, this is a masterlist no one asked for but I'm doing anyway. It's basically every Taylor Swift song that think fits the dynamic perfectly or that I'm completely projecting a Catradora storyline into (it's canon universe, no AU). I’m basically SPOPfying TS’s discography. It can be just one line or the whole song. I will highlight the lyrics and it is sorted by album. I hope you enjoy it and if it helps my fanfic writers out there, all the best. (just an fyi, I’m listening to all of this through a very romantic filter, before anyone comes at me saying that “actually catra wanted more than Adora and their issues were deeper than just unrequited love and bla bla. I know. just let us enjoy this gay animated couple)
I might develop my reasoning more in some than in others, so if you want to know more about why I chose such song and all that, just send me asks, I love them! 
Let’s get on with the list now!
From “Taylor Swift”(Yee haw taylor at her finest)
Picture to burn
okay, so bear with me. Catra’s pov after Adora left her.
“there’s no time for tears/I’m just sitting here plotting my revenge”
“And if you’re missing me you’d better keep it to yourself/ cause coming back around here would be bad for your health”
“so watch me strike a match on all my wasted time/ as far as i’m concerned you’re just another picture to burn” -> I can just imagine catra scratching their doodles when i listen to this through a catradora lens.
Teardrops on my guitar
Teenage Catra’s pov pining over Adora.
“Drew looks at me/I fake a smile so he won’t see/That I want and I’m needing/ everything that we should be”
 “I laugh 'cause it is just so funny/ That I can't even see anyone when he's with me”
“[he’s] the only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart”
A Place in this World
Adora trying to deal with the new responsibilities and pressure She-ra brought her.
“I don’t know what I want/ so don’t ask me/ ‘cause I’m still trying to figure it out/ don’t know what’s down this road/ I'm just walking/Trying to see through the rain coming down”
“I’m alone, on my own/ and that’s all I know/ I’ll be strong, I’ll be wrong/ oh but life goes on/ oh I’m just a girl/ trying to find a place in this world”
The outside
Catra’s pov(on her way to redemption)
“So, how can I ever try to be better?/ Nobody ever lets me in/ And I can still see you, this ain’t the best view/ On the outside looking in”
“You saw me there, but never knew/ That I would give it all up to be/ A part of this, a part of you/ And now it's all too late, so you see/ You could have helped if you had wanted to/ But no one notices until it's too late to do anything/ How could I ever try to be better?”
Tied Together With a Smile
Catra to Adora and her self sacrificial complex.
“hold on, baby, you’re losing it/ the water’s high/ you’re jumping into it/ And letting go and no one knows/ That you cry but you don’t tell anyone/ That you might not be the golden one/ and you’re tied together with a smile/ but you’re coming undone
Should’ve said no
Catra to Adora(season 1)
“you should’ve said no, you should’ve gone home/ you should’ve thought twice ‘fore you let it all go/You should've known that word like what you did with her/ Would get back to me/ and I should’ve been there, in the back of your mind/ I shouldn’t be asking myself why/You shouldn't be beggin' for forgiveness at my feet/ you should’ve said no, baby, and you might still have me”
“I can’t resist, before you go, tell me this/ was it worth it?”
I’m only me when I’m with you
just general catradora because this is effing cute
“I'm only up when you're not down/Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground/ It's like no matter what I do/ Well you drive me crazy half the time/ The other half I'm only tryna let you know that what I feel is true/ And I'm only me when I'm with you”
A Perfectly good heart
Catra’s pov(season 1)
“Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now/ Why would you wanna make the very first scar/ Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart”
“Maybe I should've seen the signs/ Should've read the writing on the wall/ And realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall/ No matter what you say, I still can't believe/ That you would walk away/ It don't make sense to me”
From “Fearless”(platinum edition)
Forever and always
ohhh the promises.... catra’s pov.
“And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all/ And you flashback to when we said forever and always/ And it rains in your bedroom/ Everything is wrong/ It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone/ 'Cause I was there when you said forever and always/ You didn't mean it baby”
Come in with the rain
this one i think it fits both Adora and Catra singing the same thing to each other(while they were still stranged) and if you want the whole reasoning behind, ask haha cause otherwise this is going to be even bigger. 
“I've watched you so long, screamed your name/ I don't know what else I can say/ But I'll leave my window open/ 'Cause I'm too tired at night for all these games/ Just know I'm right here hoping/ That you'll come in with the rain/ I could go back to every laugh/ But I don't wanna go there anymore”
The other side of the door
this is pure catra. just pure catra. seasons 1- 4 Catra and what she did vs her real feelings. (very fitting for ”promises” too)
“In the heat of the fight I walked away/ Ignoring words that you were saying/ Trying to make me stay/ I said, "This time I've had enough"/ And you've called a hundred times/ But I'm not picking up/ 'Cause I'm so mad I might tell you that it's over/ But if you look a little closer/ I said, "Leave," but all I really want is you/ To stand outside my window throwing pebbles/ Screaming, "I'm in love with you"”
“Me and my stupid pride are sitting here alone/ Going through the photographs, staring at the phone”
“So babe if you know everything/ Tell me why you couldn't see/ When I left, I wanted you to chase after me”
“And I'll scream out the window/ I can't even look at you/ I don't need you but I do, I do, I do/ I say, "There's nothing you can say/ To make this right again, I mean it, I mean it”/ What I mean is/ I said, "Leave," but baby, all I want is you”
White Horse
okay, that’s just a joke. but I wanted to share the mental image my brain created. I just can’t stop imagining Catra on princess prom, looking longingly at Adora dancing with some nameless girl and singing “I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale/ I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet/ lead her up the stairwell” and then catching a glimpse of swifty “Now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around”
i’m so sorry for this, but I’m actually not.
oh and the more serious interpretation is Catra refusing Adora and her fucking hero complex, saying it’s too late for her to try to go and fix things.
You belong with me
Just to mention this song fits every childhood friends to lovers ever. so that’s it.
Tell me why
Adora’s pov(season 3-4). I feel this is Adora getting more and more frustrated with Catra and especially after she “gave up” on catra after the portal.  and this connection made me sad.(and I’m not by any means calling Catra abusive with this, because I know how the song depicts a somewhat abusive relatioship and I’m not by saying Catradora is that(it isn’t, at all), but their relationship throughout the seasons is fucking messy.)
“I took a chance, I took a shot/ And you might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not/ You took a swing, I took it hard/ And down here from the ground I see who you are/ I'm sick and tired of your attitude/ I'm feeling like I don't know you”
“And I need you like a heartbeat/ But you know you got a mean streak.”
“And I know you see what you’re doing to me/ Tell me why”
and the one that hurts:
“I take a step back, let you go/ I told you I’m not bulletproof/ Now you know”
You’re Not Sorry
Adora’s pov, post portal
“All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around/ I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down/ And it's taken me this long, baby, but I've figured you out/ And you're thinking we'll be fine again, but not this time around”
“You don't have to call anymore/ I won't pick up the phone/ This is the last straw/ Don't wanna hurt anymore/ And you can tell me that you're sorry/ But I don't believe you baby like I did before/ You're not sorry”
Change
so everything here might be a lot of a stretch, but I can’t really control what my head comes up with. The song progresses and so does Catradora’s story in this. like, I feel the song starts when they are kids in the Horde and then teenagers promising each other they will rise in the ranks and rule the place and then after defeating Horde Prime and getting their new beginning.(And maybe both of them singing, but I feel Adora would fit better, dunno)
“And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you/Somebody else gets what you wanted again and/ You know it's all the same, another time and place/ Repeating history and you're getting sick of it/ But I believe in whatever you do/ And I'll do anything to see it through/ Because these things will change/ Can you feel it now?” -> Adora singing to catra imo, but you see it however you want to honestly.
“These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down/ This revolution, the time will come/ For us to finally win/ And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah” -> Here it’s the promise they made when they were younger, that they would be running the place together and even the “nothing rly bad can happen as long as we have each other” one.
“So we've been outnumbered, raided, and now cornered/ It's hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair/ We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/ They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared” -> maybe their teenage years strengthening their resolution. 
“Tonight we stand, get off our knees/ Fight for what we've worked for all these years/ And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives/ But we'll stand up champions tonight/ It was the night things changed/ Can you see it now?” -> this could be so so so many things, but I chose to see as a time skip and it is the night they defeated horde prime just to make it interesting. (this whole thing was such a stretch, but I’m having fun with it, so fuck it i guess)
From “Speak Now”
 Sparks Fly
Adora’s pov
“The way you move is like a full on rainstorm/ And I'm a house of cards/ You're the kind of reckless/ That should send me running/ But I kinda know that I won't get far”
“Take away the pain/ 'Cause I see, sparks fly, whenever you smile/ Get me with those green eyes, baby/ As the lights go down/ Gimme something that'll haunt me whenever you're not around/ 'Cause I see, sparks fly, when you smile”
“My mind forgets to remind me, your a bad idea”
Back to December
Catra’s pov(call from Horde Prime’s ship and interactions on Darla)
“Your guard is up and I know why/ Because the last time you saw me/ Is still burned in the back of your mind”
“So this is me swallowing my pride/ Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night”
“It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you”
“These days, I haven't been sleeping/ Staying up, playing back myself leaving”
“I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't/ So if the chain is on your door, I understand”
Mean
That’s just Catra singing to Shadow Weaver, I’m sorry. the whole song fits here, so just my top picks.
“You, with your words like knives/ And swords and weapons that you use against me/ You have knocked me off my feet again/ Got me feeling like I'm nothing/ You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard/ Calling me out when I'm wounded/ You, picking on the weaker man”
“You, with your switching sides/ And your wildfire lies and your humiliation/ You have pointed out my flaws again/ As if I don't already see them”
“All you are is mean/ And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life/ And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean”
The story of us
both Adora and Catras(basically the whole song lol)
“I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us/ How we met, and the sparks flew instantly”
“I used to know my place was a spot next to you/ Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat/ 'Cause lately, I don't even know what page you're on”
“Oh, a simple complication/ Miscommunications lead to fallout/ So many things that I wish you knew/ So many walls up, I can't break through”
“Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room/ And we're not speaking/ And I'm dying to know/ Is it killing you like it's killing me?/ Yeah, I don't know what to say/ Since the twist of fate when it all broke down/ And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now”
“How I was losing my mind when I saw you here/ But you held your pride like you should've held me”
“Why are we pretending this is nothing?/ I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how/ I've never heard silence quite this loud”
“This is looking like a contest/ Of who can act like they care less/ But I liked it better when you were on my side”
“But I would lay my armor down/ If you say you'd rather love than fight”
(let’s ignore that the song actually ends in tragedy lol)
Haunted
Why did you leave, Adora, for fuck’s sake. Catra’s pov.
“Come on, come on, don't leave me like this/ I thought I had you figured out/ Something's gone terribly wrong/ You're all I wanted/ Come on, come on, don't leave me like this/ I thought I had you figured out/ Can't breathe whenever you're gone/ Can't turn back now, I'm haunted”
“Stood there and watched you walk away/ From everything we had”
oh and a sad bonus. Catra’s pov from when she was Chipped:
“He will try to take away my pain/ And he just might make me smile/ But the whole time, I'm wishing it was you instead/ Oh, holding my breath/ Won't see you again/ Something keeps me holding onto nothing”
Last Kiss
I’m realizing with this list that Taylor is a Catra Kinnie(and she condones murder now, so great!). Catra’s pov.
“I still remember the look on your face/ Lit through the darkness at 1:58/ The words that you whispered/ For just us to know/ You told me you loved me/ So why did you go away?/ Away”
“All that I know is I don't know/ How to be something you miss/ I never thought we'd have a last kiss/ Never imagined we'd end like this”
Long Live
The very fortunate aftermath of the Heart of Etheria and the defeat of Horde Prime. anyone can be the narrator in this, but for me is Catra and Adora, together(but some Catra solos)(I’m such an Adora kinnie, but fuck if this isn’t dominated by my fav catgirl)
“I said: Remember this moment/ In the back of my mind/ The time we stood with our shaking hands/.../ The night you danced like you knew our lives/ Would never be the same/ You held your head like a hero/ On a history book page/ It was the end of a decade/ But the start of an age”
“Long live the walls we crashed through/ All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you/ I was screaming, long live all the magic we made/ And bring on all the pretenders/ One day, we will be remembered”
“And the cynics were outraged/ Screaming, "This is absurd"/ 'Cause for a moment, a band of thieves/ In ripped up jeans got to rule the world” (fourth wall breaking, catra is actually singing this to her haters)
“I'm not afraid/ Long live all the mountains we moved/ I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you/ I was screaming, long live that look on your face”
“Will you take a moment?/ Promise me this/ That you'll stand by me forever”
Ours
just a cute song, go listen to it and insert literally anyone in it.
From “Red”
Treacherous
i feel like it fits the vibe of the dynamic, but I don’t feel like expanding on it lol
All Too Well(because ofc)
I honestly don’t know who narrates this one. either Catra or Adora fit well, but I’m more inclined to say Adora but idk why. it’s just the vibe I’m getting.
“And I know it's long gone and/ There was nothing else I could do/ And I forget about you long enough/ To forget why I needed to” -> in this one i was like, Adora for sure
“Maybe we got lost in translation/ Maybe I asked for too much/ But maybe this thing was a masterpiece/ 'Til you tore it all up/ Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well” -> But then this one came and I was like, well, depending on the pov, it fits both.
“And you call me up again just to break me like a promise/ So casually cruel in the name of being honest”(best lyrics c’mon) -> and the whole break me like a promise thingy made me think Catra’s pov, but then I guess you could also put it in Adora’s pov if you wanted to, so up to y’all.
I Almost Do
C’mon, Catra once again.
“And I just want to tell you/ It takes everything in me not to call you/ And I wish I could run to you/ And I hope you know that/ Every time I don’t/ I almost do, I almost do”
“I bet you think I either moved on or hate you/ ‘Cause each time you reach out, there’s no reply/ I bet it never, ever occurred to you/ That I can’t say hello to you/ And risk another goodbye”(kill me now, there’s still a lot of heartbreak for me to go through)
The Last Time
Catra’s pov, before she leaves Adora and has the little breakdown with Melog.
“This is the last time I'm asking you this/ Put my name at the top of your list/ This is the last time I'm asking you why/ You break my heart in the blink of an eye”
“Just like all those times before/ You wear your best apology/ But I was there to watch you leave/ And all the times I let you in/ Just for you to go again”
Everything has changed
baby Catra and baby Adora meeting and immediately clicking.(Tay is Adora and Ed is Catra for me, but as always, you do you.)
“I just wanna know you better/ Know you better, know you better now”
“'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello"/ And your eyes look like coming home/ All I know is a simple name/ Everything has changed/ All I know is you held the door/ You'll be mine and I'll be yours/ All I know since yesterday/ Is everything has changed”
“ And all my walls stood tall, painted blue/ And I'll take 'em down, take 'em down/ And open up the door for you”
Come back… be here
it talks about leaving and all, and the obvious choice is Catra, but Imma put it down as an Adora pov.  for as much as I talk about Adora leaving Catra, Catra also left Adora. justified or not, their reasons, their motives or wtv is not what i’m here to talk about. I’m just stating that Adora asked catra to stay many times and catra didn’t. So the feelings of abandonment also fit Adora very well depending on the way it is weaved. Some are rly just plain Catra, tho. back to the song.
“And this is when the feeling sinks in/ I don't wanna miss you like this/ Come back, be here, come back, be here”
“And now that I can put this down/ If I had known what I know now/ I never would've played so nonchalant”
“This is falling in love in the cruelest way/ This is falling for you when you are worlds away”
“But you're in London, and I break down/ 'Cause it's not fair that you're not around”
From “1989”
Style
general catradora
“And when we go crashing down, we come back every time/ 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style”
Out of the woods
general catradora
“We were built to fall apart/ Then fall back together”
All you had to do was stay 
Catra’s pov. the line “picking up the pieces of the mess you made” just hits me where it stings, because I remember Catra trying to cover for Adora and then Adora not coming back and then having to deal with the wrath of Shadow weaver alone.
“Now, you say you want it back/ Now that it's just too late/ Well, could've been easy/ All you had to do was (Stay!)”
“Here you are now, calling me up/ But I don't know what to say/ I've been picking up the pieces/ Of the mess you made”
“Let me remind you/ This was what you wanted/ You ended it/ You were all I wanted “
I wish you would
Catra’s pov.
“Windows down, you pass my street, the memories start/ You say it's in the past, you drive straight ahead/ You're thinking that I hate you now/ 'Cause you still don't know what I never said/ I wish you would come back/ Wish I never hung up the phone like I did, I/ Wish you knew that/ I'd never forget you as long as I live, and I/ Wish you were right here, right now,/.../ I wish you would”
“We're a crooked love in a straight line down/ Makes you want to run and hide/ But it makes you turn right back around”
“You always knew how to push my buttons/ You give me everything and nothing”
Bad Blood(original version, not the remix)
Originally I thought, “oh this is Adora” but then I decided it was both of them together.
“’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood/ You know it used to be mad love/ So take a look what you've done/ ’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!/ Now we've got problems/ And I don't think we can solve 'em/ You made a really deep cut/ And baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!”
“Did you have to do this?/ I was thinking that you could be trusted/ Did you have to ruin what was shiny?/ Now it's all rusted/ Did you have to hit me where I'm weak?/ Baby, I couldn't breathe/ And rub it in so deep/ Salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me”
“Did you think we'd be fine?/ Still got scars in my back from your knives”(i really thought Adora here just cause of the literal scars in her back)
Wildest Dreams
if you want to headcanon a pre she-ra Catradora relationship, this song is really good. Since I’m trying( and def failing in many instances) to be as canon compliant as I can, I’ll skip it.
This Love
Catradora in the heart of etheria. could be both povs: either Catra holding Adora’s dying body and like “this love came back to me” or Adora prepared to die, dreaming about Catra, letting her love go, but in the end came back to her. for me, this is Adora’s, the whole song feels like her to me
“Currents swept you out again/ And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone” -> she’s fading, she’s being fully consumed now and the currents swept catra out from her. 
“In silent screams and wildest dreams/ I never dreamed of this” -> she never allowed herself to dream that Catra would love her or that she wanted a future with Catra, but now she’s being faced with the loss of exactly that.
“This love is good, this love is bad/ This love is alive back from the dead/ These hands had to let it go free, and/ This love came back to me” -> their love is a very complicated thing, is not easy. they have a history of being enemies that tarnish it a bit and when it was too bad, they had to let it go. but the love came back to them in full force. alive back from the dead, literally and figuratively.
“Lantern, burning/ Flickered in my mind, only you/ But you were still gone, gone, gone”
“Been losing grip, on sinking ships/ You showed up just in time” -> adora dying, being saved in the most dramatic way possible.
“This love left a permanent mark/ This love is glowing in the dark” -> just the imagery, wow. and the antithesis of the mark of  scars left by love and now the mark of it is the glowing.
“Your kiss, my cheek/ I watched you leave/ Your smile, my ghost/ I fell to my knees/ When you're young, you just run/ But you come back to what you need” -> finally reunited yay
I know places
Catradora in the Horde being super cute and hiding everywhere, just because.
“Something happens when everybody finds out/ See the vultures circling, dark clouds/ Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out/ It could burn out”
“'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns/ They are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run”
“Baby, I know places we won't be found/ And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down/ 'Cause I, I know places we can hide/ They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run”
“Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love”
From “Reputation” (Not expecting much from this one)
 Delicate
Catradora being all cute and insecure after the end of the war and learning how to navigate their relationship, the old and the new. Catra’s pov, probably.
“This ain't for the best/ My reputation's never been worse, so/ You must like me for me/ We can't make/ Any promises now, can we, babe?/ Is it cool that I said all that?/ Is it chill that you're in my head?/ 'Cause I know that it's delicate (Delicate)/ Is it cool that I said all that?/ Is it too soon to do this yet?”
Gorgeous
so, i think this song is extremely cute and would fit very well in many various au’s, even some of mine, so I’m just leaving it out here, check it out if you haven’t, but won’t expand on it. 
Dress(I was pleasantly surprised bout this one)
Catra’s pov.
“All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation/ My hands are shaking from holding back from you/ All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting/ My hands are shaking from all this”
“Say my name and everything just stops/ I don't want you like a best friend/ Only bought this dress so you could take it off/ Take it/ Carve your name into my bedpost/ ’Cause I don't want you like a best friend/ Only bought this dress so you could take it off/ Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me/ Flashback to my mistakes/ My rebounds, my earthquakes/ Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me/ And I woke up just in time/ Now I wake up by your side”
 New Year’s Day
Another super sweet song that doesn’t exactly fit in the canon compliant list, but that I definitely use in my future Catradora headcanon, so I’ll just put in a few lyrics. 
“There's glitter on the floor after the party/.../You and me from the night before, but/ Don’t read the last page/ But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you’re turning away/ I want your midnights/ But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day”
“But I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we're making mistakes”
“You and me forevermore”
From “Lover”(this album is so sweet fuuuuck)
 Lover
the whole song. just, future catradora. Adora’s pov tho because this is such a dorkish in love song and that bit about “You’ll save all of your dirtiest jokes for me”, Adora saying this to Catra. that’s it
 Paper Rings
future again. this whole album might be just me fantasizing about their future, who knows.
“Cat and mouse for a month or two or three/ Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe/ Darling, you're the one I want, and/ I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this/ Uh huh, that's right/ Darling, you're the one I want/ In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams/ Oh, you're the one I want”
 Death By A Thousand Cuts
I forgot this song and I’m adding it now at the last minute. extremely tired. not gonna paste the song here. but go listen, it’s really fitting for catradora.
“saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts”
Afterglow
this is one I didn’t want to put in here, just because of a few lines specifically, but it made me think of Catra’s apology, so here it goes. (the parts “it’s all in my head” and “It’s all me” that bug me so, but we’ll pretend they don’t exist)
“I pinned your hands behind your back, oh/ Thought I had reason to attack, but no”
“Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves/ Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us/ Why'd I have to break what I love so much?/ Sorry that I hurt you/ I don't wanna do, I don’t wanna do this to you “
From “Folklore”
OKay, so now that we got here, we’re gonna get a bit creative and take everything with a grain of salt(more than we’ve already been doing) cause I doubt we’re gonna manage to be canon compliant in every one(this includes evermore too, I’m about to go off in these two albums), but everything just oozes catradora, so bear with me. and if you made it this far, damn you’re hot.
The 1
Adora’s pov. before they actually got together.  
“I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit/ Been saying "yes" instead of "no" -> her new life in Brightmoon and all her new good experiences.
“And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow” -> such an Adora thing to say.
“But we were something, don't you think so?/ Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool/ And if my wishes came true/ It would've been you/ In my defense, I have none/ For never leaving well enough alone/ But it would've been fun/ If you would've been the one” -> the longing, the yearning
“And it's another day waking up alone“ -> :( 
“I persist and resist the temptation to ask you/ If one thing had been different/ Would everything be different today?”
Cardigan
Catra’s pov. 
“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan/ Under someone's bed/ You put me on and said I was your favorite”
“A friend to all is a friend to none/ Chase two girls, lose the one/ You drew stars around my scars/ But now I'm bleedin'”
“But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss/ I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs/ The smell of smoke would hang around this long/ 'Cause I knew everything when I was young/ I knew I'd curse you for the longest time/ Chasin' shadows in the grocery line/ I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired/ And you'd be standin' in my front porch light/ And I knew you'd come back to me”
Exile
now rlyyy bear with me. It gets confusing. And big. It's the whole song too.
Bon iver's verse + Swift's chorus is Catra seeing adora move on so quickly and leaving Adora behind. 
Swift's verse + Bon Iver's chorus is Adora's pov. And then they merge in the bridge to air their grievances. I'll demonstrate below.
“I can see you standing, honey/ With his arms around your body/ Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all/ And it took you five whole minutes/ To pack us up and leave me with it/ Holdin' all this love out here in the hall”  +  “I think I've seen this film before/ And I didn't like the ending/ I'm not your problem anymore/ So who am I offending now?/ You were my crown, now I'm in exile, seein' you out/ I think I've seen this film before/ So I'm leaving out the side door = Catra’s pov
“I can see you starin', honey/ Like he's just your understudy/ Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me/ Second, third, and hundredth chances/ Balancin' on breaking branches/ Those eyes add insult to injury”  +  “I think I've seen this film before/ And I didn't like the ending/ You're not my homeland anymore/ So what am I defending now?/ You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out/ I think I've seen this film before = Adora’s pov
and then the bridge with both.(it’s one hell of a giant bridge, not gonna paste it here lol)
My tears ricochet
This one i see as a conversation, one that I'll again exemplify lol.
“And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too/ Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe/ All the hell you gave me?/ 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you/ 'Til my dying day” -> both of them 
“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace/ And you're the hero flying around, saving face” ->Catra
“And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?/ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” -> Adora
“Look at how my tears ricochet” -> both
“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace/ 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave” -> Adora
“And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?/ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” -> Catra
“Look at how my tears ricochet” -> both
“And I can go anywhere I want/ Anywhere I want, just not home/ And you can aim for my heart, go for blood/ But you would still miss me in your bones/ And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky)/ And when you can't sleep at night (You hear my stolen lullabies)” -> both
“You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same/ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” -> both
“You turned into your worst fears/ And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain” - > Adora
“Crossing out the good years” ->both.
I could honestly make a whole post about this song and Catradora, dissecting lyric by lyric, I even have an animatic for this song thumbnailed, so I’ll jump to the next one before it gets too out of hand. again y’all can ask me anytime if you want to know more.
Mirrorball
Adora and her self sacrificial bs and not being rly her so she can be what everyone expects *from* her. Make me cry more, why don’t you!
“I'm a mirrorball/ I'll show you every version of yourself tonight/ I'll get you out on the floor/ Shimmering beautiful/ And when I break, it's in a million pieces”
“Hush, when no one is around, my dear/ You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes/ Spinning in my highest heels, love/ Shining just for you”
“Hush, I know they said the end is near/ I can change everything about me to fit in/ I'm still on that tightrope/ I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me/ And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why/ I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try/ I'm still on that trapeze/ I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me”
Seven
Baby Adora to baby Catra. 
“And I've been meaning to tell you/ I think your house is haunted/ Your dad is always mad and that must be why/ And I think you should come live with me/ And we can be pirates/ Then you won't have to cry/ Or hide in the closet/ And just like a folk song/ Our love will be passed on”
August
older teen/adult Catra reminiscing about younger teen Catra dealing with her love for Adora. Probably the last August before Adora joined the rebellion. (ignoring the love triangle ofc)
“But I can see us lost in the memory/ August slipped away into a moment in time/ 'Cause it was never mine/ And I can see us twisted in bedsheets/ August sipped away like a bottle of wine/ 'Cause you were never mine”
“I remember thinkin' I had you/ Back when we were still changin' for the better/ Wanting was enough/ For me, it was enough/ To live for the hope of it all/ Cancel plans just in case you'd call/ And say, "Meet me behind the mall"/ So much for summer love and saying "us"/ 'Cause you weren't mine to lose”
This is me trying
Catra's pov/redemption
“I've been having a hard time adjusting/ I didn't know if you'd care if I came back/ I have a lot of regrets about that/ Pulled the car off the road to the lookout/ Could've followed my fears all the way down/ And maybe I don't quite know what to say/ But I'm here in your doorway/ I just wanted you to know that this is me trying/ And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound/ It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you/ You're a flashback in a film reel”
Illicit affairs
Just leaving it out here cause it is so gayyy. And I'll prob write an au for this once I'm through with my five thousand WIPs.
Invisible string
Just the feeling of the song, not exactly catradora specific. More generic.
“Time, curious time/ Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs/ Were there clues I didn't see?/ And isn't it just so pretty to think/ All along there was some/ Invisible string/ Tying you to me?/  Time, mystical time/ Cutting me open, then healing me fine”
Mad woman
Catra's pov S1
“Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy/ What about that?/ And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry/ And there's nothing like a mad woman/ What a shame she went mad/ No one likes a mad woman/ You made her like that/ And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out”
Epiphany 
Adora dying in catra's arms and dreaming about her future with catra. 
“"Sir, I think he's bleeding out"/ And some things you just can't speak about/ With you I serve, with you I fall down, down/ Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out, out/ Only twenty minutes to sleep/ But you dream of some epiphany/ Just one single glimpse of relief/ To make some sense of what you've seen”
Betty
Another case of a song with STRONG catradora vibe, but too au- ish. The imagery of the song is too clear. Still, these parts here… 
“The worst thing that I ever did/ Was what I did to you/ I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything/ But I know I miss you/ Yeah, I showed up at your party/ Will you have me? Will you love me?/ Will you kiss me on the porch/ In front of all your stupid friends”
Peace
adora's pov. I think is Adora kinda warning Catra that she can’t promise to stop saving the world, she can’t stop being she-ra, it is who she is and danger is going to follow her, so, is it enough if she can never give Catra peace?
“I never had the courage of my convictions/ As long as danger is near/ And it's just around the corner, darlin'/ 'Cause it lives in me/ No, I could never give you peace”
“All these people think love's for show/ But I would die for you in secret”
“The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me/ Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?”
From "evermore"(FUCKING FINALLY and everything is going to be au-ish I guess)
Champagne problems
Adora's pov, but i resent this cause THEIR PROBLEMS ARE NOT CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS OKAY? but nevertheless, It’s adora leaving Catra behind and breaking my heart in the fucking process.
“You booked the night train for a reason/ So you could sit there in this hurt”
“Because I dropped your hand while dancing/ Left you out there standing/ Crestfallen on the landing/.../ Your heart was glass, I dropped it”
“You had a speech, you're speechless/ Love slipped beyond your reaches/ And I couldn't give a reason”
How evergreen, our group of friends/ Don't think we'll say that word again/.../ I never was ready so I watch you go/ Sometimes you just don't know the answer/ 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you”
Gold rush
Catra's pov pining over Adora before and after she became She-ra, but especially after with the bit “I don’t like that everyone would die to feel your touch”. After all the pining and imagining what a perfect relationship they could have she wakes up to reality and sees that “it could never be”, “It will never be”. 
“Gleaming, twinkling/ Eyes like sinking ships on waters/ So inviting, I almost jump in”
“I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush/ I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch/ Everybody wants you/ Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you”
“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/ With your hair falling into place like dominoes”
“At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit/ And the coastal town we wandered 'round had nеver seen a love as pure as it” 
“My mind turns your life into folklore/ I can't dare to dream about you anymore”
“'Cause it will never be”
‘Tis the damn season
Adora’s pov. Adora being the one who left because she has to, but she misses Catra and their old times together. However, she knows she won’t be able to stay so she’s asking for this weekend and breaking her own heart in the process.
“There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me/ But if it's all the same to you/ It's the same to me”
“So we could call it even/ You could call me "babe" for the weekend/ ​'Tis the damn season, write this down/ And the road not taken looks real good now/ And it always leads to you and my hometown”
“You can run, but only so far/ I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave/ But if it's okay with you, it's okay with me/ Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake/ I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay/ So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends/ And wonder about the only soul/ Who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'”
“And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own/ To leave the warmest bed I've ever known/ We could call it even/ Even though I'm leaving/ And I'll be yours for the weekend”
Tolerate it
Catra’s pov and how she thinks Adora feels towards her. How she only tolerated Catra until something bigger, better and shinier came along and she abandoned her.(what to expect from a track five, huh?)
“While you were out building other worlds, where was I?/ Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?/ I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life/ Drawing hearts in the byline/ Always taking up too much space or time”
“You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I/ Break free and leave us in ruins/ Took this dagger in me and removed it/ Gain the weight of you then lose it/ Believe me, I could do it”
“If it's all in my head tell me now/ Tell me I've got it wrong somehow/ I know my love should be celebrated/ But you tolerate it”
Happiness
adora’s pov. I feel this is Adora letting Catra go after season 3. just, she loves Catra and there were many great moments because of her, but that doesn’t mean the hurt isn’t there now. also doesn’t mean she’ll be forever miserable, proved by her new life in Brightmoon. It’s her realizing that Catra is actually hurting her, and being angry and then letting go.(god this reminds me of a fanfic where catra stated that she was happy without Adora, could be happy without Adora. But with her, she could be happier)
“There'll be happiness after you/ But there was happiness because of you/ Both of these things can be true/ Past the blood and bruise/ Past the curses and cries/ Beyond the terror in the nightfall/ Haunted by the look in my eyes/ That would've loved you for a lifetime/ Leave it all behind/ And there is happiness”
“Tell me, when did your winning smile/ Begin to look like a smirk?/ When did all our lessons start to look like weapons/ Pointed at my deepest hurt?”
“I can't make it go away by making you a villain/ I guess it's the price I paid for seven years in Heaven/ And I pulled your body into mine/ Every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties/ No one teaches you what to do/ When a good man hurts you/ And you know you hurt him, too” -> this whole bridge, man. THIS RIGHT HERE. They both hurt each other, there’s no simple clean cut way to look at things, to make Catra the big bad villain. but that also doesn’t erase the pain felt, so argh, this kills me.
“All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness/ You haven't met the new me yet/ And I think she'll give you that” -> and this little hint of hope.
Dorothea(i swear, i will write a Dorothea/tis the damn season au)
Adora is dorothea and this is Catra’s pov
“Hey, Dorothea, do you ever stop and think about me?/ When we were younger down in the park/ Honey, making a lark of the misery”
“You got shiny friends since you left town/ A tiny screen's the only place I see you now”
“It's never too late to come back to my side/ The stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo/ And if you're ever tired of bеing known for who you know/ You know that you'll always know me, Dorothea (Uh-uh)/Dorothea”
coney island
again, both povs. one to each other, illustrated below.
“Did I close my fist around something delicate?/ Did I shatter you?/ And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island/ Wondering where did my baby go?/ The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go/ Sorry for not making you my centerfold” -> adora
“Over and over/ Lost again with no surprises/ Disappointments, close your eyes/ And it gets colder and colder/ When the sun goes down” -> both
“The question pounds my head/ What's a lifetime of achievement/ If I pushed you to the edge?” -> catra
“Were you waiting at our old spot/ In the tree line/ By the gold clock/ Did I leave you hanging every single day?” -> adora
“Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey?” -> Catra
“And when I got into the accident/ The sight that flashed before me was your face” -> Adora
“Sorry for not making you my centerfold” -both
Ivy (hold on tight, this is big)
this is a good one.
“How's one to know?/ I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones/ In a faith forgotten land/ In from the snow/ Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow/ Tarnished but so grand”
“And the old widow goes to the stone every day/ But I don't, I just sit here and wait/ Grieving for the living”
“Oh, goddamn/ My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand/ Taking mine, but it's been promised to another/ Oh, I can't/ Stop you putting roots in my dreamland/ My house of stone, your ivy grows/ And now I'm covered in you so” ->  for me, this is Adora in the moments preceding the failsafe and the Heart of Etheria, and the person she’s committed to is She-ra(and dying as she-ra). And she’s trying to fight and be strong to make the sacrifice she knows she’ll be asked to, but she simply can’t stop Catra from “putting roots in her dreamland”. Catra’s touch enlightened her, even though tarnished by their years of being enemies, it felt grand and it could chase the pain away; just for a moment, all her pain fit in Catra’s hand. But, she grieves for this touch for she knows it’s only a dream. Even though she’s now “covered” in Catra, she’ll never be able to fully have her, not when she’s so committed to She-ra.
“I wish to know/ The fatal flaw that makes you long to be/ Magnificently cursed/ He's in the room/ Your opal eyes are all I wish to see/ He wants what's only yours” -> now here she’s in the heart of etheria and wondering why would Catra want her so much when she knows she can’t have her, when she knows she’s doomed. the He in this is Horde Prime. As we see in the “future hallucination”, all she wants is Catra and he wants(to destroy ofc) what’s Catra’s only - herself.
“How's one to know?/ I'd live and die for moments that we stole/On begged and borrowed time/ So tell me to run/ Or dare to sit and watch what we'll become -> Adora know it’s only borrowed time, it will end and she feels like there’s nothing she can do about that.
“So yeah, it's a fire/ It's a goddamn blaze in the dark/ And you started it/ You started it/ So yeah, it's a war/ It's the goddamn fight of my life/ And you started it/ You started it” -> here Adora is finally fighting back against Destiny, Prime, The Heart… and it’s all because Catra started it just by loving Adora, covering her in her ivy and making Adora so unable to not love her back.
(can you tell this is one of my favorite songs in the album?)
long story short
honestly, post-war catradora. Adora’s pov.
“Fatefully/ I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me/ Misery/ Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep/ And you passed right by/ I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides/ The knife cuts both ways/ If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break”
“When I dropped my sword/ I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door/ And we live in peace/ But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready/ No more keepin' score/ Now I just keep you warm (Keep you warm)/ No more tug of war Now I just know there's more”
“And I fell from the pedestal/ Right down the rabbit hole/ Long story short, it was a bad time/ Pushed from the precipice/ Climbed right back up the cliff/ Long story short, I survived”
closure
catra to adora pre season 5
“it's been a long time/ And seeing the shape of your name/ Still spells out pain/ It wasn't right/ The way it all went down/ Looks like you know that now”
“Yes, I got your letter/ Yes, I'm doing better/ It cut deep to know ya, right to the bone/ I know that it's over, I don't need your/ Closure, your closure”
“Don't treat me like/ Some situation that needs to be handled/ I'm fine with my spite/ I know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life/ Staying friends would iron it out so nice/ Guilty, guilty, reaching out across the sea/ That you put between you and me/ But it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary”
Evermore
just the message in general i think fits season 5 catradora very well. how, yeah, the pain sucks and it’s terrible but it won’t be for evermore. Justin’s bridge exemplify very well just the desperation of being in the middle of this whirlwind of pain, begging for a pause just to see if there’s any way to be recovered from that. it just so happens, there is. 
no exemples in this one, the vibe of speaks for itself and I’m rly tired right now.
...
oof, so there was it. Hope you liked it! show me some love cause this took a while lol(but a got my TS marathon done without feeling guilty, because at least… content? so there’s that). if you made it this far, THANK YOU!! stream evermore and good night y’all(or morning or afternoon, wtv works for your timezone lol) 
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yuukei-yikes · 1 year
Note
do you think shintaka ever sort out their codependency or does it just get worse
*cracks knuckles*
they do sort it out. but it's obviously not super ideal lol
in my sick twisted mind it is all stitched together with the mess of shinaya too. I WANNA WRITE A FIC SO BAD *banging table* i have this very specific relationship hell for shintaro thought out. *scratches head*
i talk a little bit abt it here and i think in other places but heh. honestly when i link to other posts its not rly like begging u to read them its more like a disclaimer that i might repeat myself which honestly i dont mind doing bc im crazy and im gonna talk abt the same things 1 billion times GLADLY. SO... >:3!!!! ITS MY TIME. have fun:
basically. so the usual right, takane feels like if she isnt watching shintaro all the time he could suddenly revert back to being a shut in and shintaro is comfortable having takane because she's familiar and the single constant in this life and all other lives in all other timelines. ene has always been there. takane = ene while a shock, to shintaro he can barely make a big deal out of it after retaining is activated bc he's seen it a million times. of course takane is ene. if anything the one needing closure over this reveal is takane.
i think post str shintaro is incredibly kind to her about it though. i think he feels immensely guilty for route xxx and is able to be openly thankful and they have a tender moment together. i think this single heart to heart changes everything for them. shintaro acts annoyed over takane's clinginess post str but becomes terrified when she's away, and sort of desperately looks for her the same way she does for him essentially reciprocating the sick need of each other, the difference is that he tries acting all cool abt it and making excuses while takane is sort of more direct abt like. HEY ARE U ALIVE??? JUST CHECKING IN LOLLL OK TALK TO U LATER ASSHOLE LOVE UUU!!! while shintaro's like ermmm...i was calling u cuz my comp is acting weird?? idk i tried some stuff but id rather u look at it to make sure. and takanes like LOL
like takane is totally delighted. shintaro isn't resenting her, he's gladly accepting her into his life and treating her like a friend and she KNOWS him so she knows that even if he says he wants her away the way he acts says otherwise. like she can read him like a book there is nothing he can hide from her, takane is able to see everything going on thru his mind. no one but her is more mindful abt everything that retaining eyes implies. maybe ayano, but we know which one shintaro is more comfortable about HEH. the fact takane is so direct about knowing about it and how hard it must be is also immensely comforting to shintaro (AGAIN ayano also does this but ayano is scary to shintaro) shintaro reciprocates takane's need for him again bc she is familiar and a comfortable constant but also because she is taking care of feeling all the heavy things for him. shintaro is desperate to stop feeling and takane is desperate to ignore her own feelings. but it doesn't REALLY work. shintaro still feels sad and broken and terrified. and takane still feels overwhelmed and in disbelief and unsure about everything. does this make sense.
takane's thing is like... okay erm. let's put takane under the microscope for a single moment. I'll try not to go TOO crazy.
ok. disclaimer. i could get very fun and nitty gritty abt the misogyny in takane's writing, how all her povs revolve solely around haruka & shintaro and essentially ends up being a female character who revolves everything around 2 guys, if not one the other and etc. but. i will not do that. i will just mention it there in passing and do what u do with it lol. that aside, basically takane is the kind of person who desperately focuses on worrying about someone else so she doesn't have to think of herself and her own problems.
takane is dealing with... a lot. because she had given up on life. well life gave up on her rather. she was dead you know. she decides to dedicate herself to shintaro and shintaro alone. her purpose was being company for him and keep him moving. and all of a sudden she finds herself alive and having to face the life she unwillingly left behind, and everything that comes with that like. having a body, being honest with haruka, accepting her illness is a part of her, etc. i think takane deals with a lot of existential crisis LMAOO like she CANNOT BELIEVE she is real. she has 1 line saying she felt like the whole time she was ene felt like a dream and it felt like a relief to hear shintaro talk to her as takane because it made her see it really happened. and i took this line and RAN WITH IT‼️‼️‼️
shintaro needs to be needed by takane and takane needs to be needed by shintaro. lol. they got 30 mental illnesses💗 but the thing is. one has retaining and the other doesn't 💥
their relationships to haruka & ayano are important in this and play a huge part in it too not only because its REALLY REALLY REALLY funny for takane to ditch haruka all the time to go find shintaro's wallet or something and for shintaro to tell ayano ok u can sleep over tonight i practiced cuddling with takane so im all good to go like that wont make ayano scream in her pillow for the next day. like theyre so sick in the head. but anyways ITS SO mixed in with shinaya's sick as hell relationship that i already wrote like 80 posts about and im not repeating myself im just gonna assume u know what i mean LIKE THIS IS WHY I NEED TO WRITE A FANFIC whatever.
as that happens with shinaya (like actual dumpster fire sirens going off glass breaking trashcan falling over etc) takane has haruka. haruka has his own set of problems feeling not good enough for her + survival guilt (for konoha) + terrified of being alone again. but takane's aware of the codependent issue basically bc haruka keeps telling her even if not as firmly and she would need so it takes longer than ideal. it's like present in her mind that it's a totally fucked up way too feel. also haruka & takane are totally in the same page abt holy shit we're ALIVE?? AND WE HAVE OUR BODIES??? WE HAVE TO FACE OUR LIVES AND MOVE FORWARD?? WE'RE IN OUR TWENTIES??? AUGGHHHH lol they go thru it together MAN I LOVE HARUTAKA sorry im normal. i know jin is allergic to giving takane a problem that isnt related to a guy but to me she also goes thru the same omg im in my twenties thing as haruka. bc like. yeah hiyori and ayano were stuck in the daze too but haruka was also watching everything outside. like takane he was a painful bystander. even if takane's spirit wasnt in the daze she was still playing a sorta similar role outside. like u can watch but u can barely do anything!! because youre DEAD!! haruka&takane understand each other's struggles more than anyone else, and suddenly they're alive and also the oldest in the group and they're like. ok lol. let's fucking go i guess. haruka and takane existentialism crisis crying for 3 hours then having to pull themselves together bc they have to do groceries. the horrors are indescribable but we have to pay rent. i love harutaka *shaking*
and haruka is super comprehensive about takane's thing with shintaro even if it's mixed in with all his feelings of omg takane prefers him omg takane is super best friends with the dan who all probably resent me for replacing konoha omg im gonna be alone augghhh like lol he's GOING THRU IT TOO but!!! takane also helps him!!!!!! theyre there for each other!!! they dont weaponize these things against each other, in fact it brings them closer. total opposite to shintaro and ayano. so takane's getting out of this mindset before shintaro does and she is really self aware and slowly making progress and ermmm becoming a little pissed off abt how he takes her for granted. bc he does.
again. takane is a constant. that means she is always here. in shintaro and takane's relationships it doesnt go both ways how they help each other. they dont help each other, takane helps shintaro and thats it. ene's always been secretive and ene is always been ene and now ene is always been takane and while shintaro knows this he's also never... had takane as takane before? so even if she's familiar and accepting her helicoptering over him, he's also totally preoccupied with all his other issues to even think about takane's side of things. shintaro despite his babygirl tendencies is at the end of the day a very self centered person, its hard for him. i dont mean it to say he sucks or anything. i think its genuinely rly hard for him!! he's going through a lot!! and he's bad with people and words and emotions!! he doesnt... stop being self centered though. not for now at least. and takane isnt exactly begging him to help her or anything because HARUKA is helping her with her issues. while shintaro is trusting everything on takane, and ayano is begging him to open up to her, takane is trusting haruka and continuously lets him help her and also helps him with his stuff. like shinaya and harutaka are dealing with similar situations in TOTALLY different ways
so for shintaro to find out/realise takane is also hurting he's like oh my god im such an ASS because OF COURSE SHE IS!!! but he's like i thought letting her be insane abt me was enough help??? bc AGAIN he hasn't really recognized that it actually goes both ways and he needs her as much as she needs him. it only becomes apparent when takane is needing him less and less bc she's been healing outside of their fucked up dynamic and he's like wait a damn moment???!!!!! so he's like TAKANE why didn't u say anything!!! and takane's like erm idk. it just kinda played out like that it's fine haruka is there for me im working on it and stuff and shintaro is SOOO insane abt it because realising takane's been relying on someone else takes him out of this familiarity and he's like oh my god TAKANE IS ALIVE HARUKA IS ALIVE AYANO IS ALIVE OH MY GOD THEYRE ALL MOVING ON WITHOUT ME OH MY GOD and its so uncomfortable for him. its so uncomfortable to see takane with haruka the same way it makes him uncomfortable to be with ayano because it makes him so painfully aware of like. THIS IS THE GOOD ENDING. yknow.
anyways... shinaya breakup happens lol!!! takane is again here to pick up the pieces. and shintaro is SO broken over this that takane soooorta reverts back bc YIKES HES NOT DOING GOOD. shintaro is clinging on her so bad it makes him look stupid. like i said in the insane shinaya reply. being back to being despaired over ayano and crying on takane is familiar! self sabotage at its finest, its pain that he knows. new things he hasnt seen are terrifying!!! and this way.... takane is away from haruka, rather paying attention to him instead and he is dragging her down with him!!! its awful but its comforting to think for him like YES!!! TAKANE IS ALSO BAD!!! TAKANE IS ALSO STUCK WITH ME!!!! BTW THIS IS ALL ON AN UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL FOR SHINTARO LMAO.
but takane is AWARE... like yeah she gets he's sad over his breakup but takane doesnt TOTALLY revert back. like by this point its been a long time and she's totally aware of their codependency & working on it & already resenting a little how shintaro takes her for granted. and when it's been long enough and shintaro is still pathetically sobbing abt ayano, takane's been back in ene mode trying to distract him and cheer him up like always but she's like. man i have a job to get to. can we wrap this up for today. LOL LIKE takane has a fucking life so even if shintaro's (unconsciously) like omg yess its like it used to be, it isnt because takane has shit to take care of outside of him😭 she can be like. sorry man i gotta go i got a thing with haruka and shintaro's like ???? because... "normally" she would cancel on haruka for him and now she wont and shintaro's like wh??? and maybe he points it out and it REALLY pisses takane off LOLLL
ok so takane ticking time bomb abt to tell shintaro off + shinaya breakup + kanoshin insanity. *rubs hands together* shintaro about to accidentally finish destroying his relationship with takane that's already hanging by a thread. because he's dealing with all the guilt over his breakup with ayano and the newly found kinship with kano(+internalized homophobia) and he's like... so desperate. he's like. ok. there is 1 person in this world who will still have me and make me feel normal abt being this way.
sorry for shipping shintaka and being insane. shintaro wants to date takane. SORRY I KNOW its born from an insane fucked up situation and its truly the last straw for takane because she's like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUIUUUT WHAT THE HELLLLLL bc shintaro's only going to her bc 1. to make me feel straight 💥 2. to make me feel valid💥💥💥 LIKE HES NOT THINKING OF HER FEELINGS AT ALL and i do think he'd fall for her in a little fucked up way like well idk??? i dont know but i definitely think shintaro&takane feel a very specific way abt each other and in his desperation shintaro decided to call it love LOL. takane would treat it sensibly if SHE DIDNT FUCKING KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON and she sends him to hell for it LOLLLL !!!!! this also distances haruka & shintaro because SHINTARO KNEW haruka is insanely self conscious and insecure and always treated the situation with kid gloves in fear of takane being like lol u dont like me hanging out with shintaro?? bye then. like he knows haruka has always been scared of takane choosing shintaro over him (even if not romantically) and then HE GOES AND DOES THAT AND even someone like haruka is like. bro... because listen by this point!!! haruka and takane have grown A LOT as people and as a couple while shintaro was stuck in this insane quarrel with ayano and himself and has his head so far up his own ass he couldn't see how horrible of an idea it is until he does it and ends up fucking up with friendship with both takane AND haruka. fun
SO............. umm. ur question. yes they do sort it out. shintaro has to grow a lot though. i think its his fallout with takane that is his last straw and he sort of realises he has got to make a change and accept this reality as terrifying as it is. its definitely a quartet fallout too. ofc they makeup!! ofc shintaro apologizes, of course they start talking again (i don't think they'd go long without talking btw i think takane's just like we. need time apart) and ofc they get to a point where the quartet is all together again even if shintaro and ayano are broken up, they get to be on friendly terms after enough time apart, and shintaro and takane can also be normal friends. they are still bestest friends but definitely more proper and shintaro now acts like a person to takane instead of taking her for granted and is there for her like a proper friend would be and etc. ofc it gets to that!!! but lol. isnt it so fun to have a circus first :3
THEY JUST NEED A BIT OF TIME APART..... but they are best of friends. they're one of a kind to each other💗 erm. Hi
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cattles-bians · 3 years
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damie vibecca exes au pt 9
post directory
obsetress: ready ok ot4 hc incoming
em: ot4! ot4! ot4
obsetress: after dani breaks up with her viola cuts all her hair off n it's the first impulsive thing she's ever allowed herself to do in her whole life (which should also tell you exactly how fucked up she was by it) n so then we have
obsetress: short curly hair viola
em: what is wrong with you
em: oh i love a dramatic haircut as a motif
obsetress: by the time she and rebecca start hooking up it's grown into a long bob and she keeps that for a while tbh because like
obsetress: viola has impulses all the time but she either: suppresses them, or thinks about them and then does them to the point where they can no longer be considered impulsive
obsetress: vs um
obsetress: dani has impulses all the time and used to suppress them but then fully leaned into
obsetress: charging headfirst into whatever the fuck (vp speech ref sheds a tear)
em: OTP: dont you wanna go apeshitt
obsetress: and thinking about how people change u and rub off on u for the better even after they leave
obsetress: viola: wants to go apeshitt
obsetress: viola: thinks about going apeshitt, thinks about all the ways it would benefit her, thinks about how she would enjoy it even if it did not in any way benefit her
obsetress: viola: yes ok don't you wanna go apeshitt
em: no but i am i am thinking abt like. dani and viola as both sort of? dragged into being housewives and homemakers because Women n viola didn’t really have the power to change her situation (even if she got isabel out of it!) and dani actually managed to call it off
obsetress: YEAH
obsetress: grits teeth
obsetress: once again crying over very intentional very deliberate danvi parallels that no one else wants to talk about and i think even in this au right
obsetress: viola is socialized in such a specific space that this can very much still be true
obsetress: and i think like part of what draws her to dani is exactly that––that dani had the freedom to do that much sooner––but also she resents dani for exactly that too
obsetress: even when they're together, and that's the possession piece too
obsetress: i think a part of her thinks if she can't do it for herself she can have it for herself and that's close enough
obsetress: like she v much covets dani
em: ah the unique way that lesbians fuck each other up bc of living in a homophobic and misogynistic society
em:i mean who doesn’t covet danis ass
obsetress: literally and metaphorically
obsetress: and part of dani definitely knows that but part of dani (at least until she doesn't) likes it
obsetress: (also this is kinda what i was getting at w my insane lil pwp alfjadslf but i think it tracks here too)
obsetress: because she's like "well this is what it's supposed to be but it didn't work with eddie because i don't like men but now i'm with a woman and this is how it's supposed to be"
obsetress: "and i like being wanted it's nice to be wanted by someone i want for once"
obsetress: but yeah thinking a lot about the danvi dynamic once again
obsetress: viola short curly hair to viola long bob
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obsetress: YEAH I JSUT
obsetress: WENT TO HER INSTA TO FIND
obsetress: AND THEN GOT
obsetress: SO DISTRACTD
[em note: edited out a 30 minute tangent going through pictures from kates instagram]
obsetress: so anyway the whole point of this. long bob viola
obsetress: rebecca loves long bob viola she rly loves um. sitting on her lap and running her fingers back through her hair
obsetress: when she and dani see each other again for the first time dani's all "oh. you cut your... hair" and vi's like "i did" and dani's like "it, um. looks... it looks... good?"
em: i think it’s nice when viola does something for herself :)
obsetress: it's nice :)
obsetress: i'm happy for her :)
obsetress: wish she didn't have to look so much hotter though :)
obsetress: don't make that face, babe, it's fine :)
obsetress: you know i love you :)
em: WAIT
em: dani had a fucking moment. she’s like
obsetress: oh dani likes her girls w curly hair huh
em: counting on her fingers. how many ppl has she dated w
em: YEAH
obsetress: YEAHDLKFJSLDFDFJSLDFj
em: CURLY BROWN HAIR
obsetress: OH MGOD EDDIE TOO
obsetress: NOT JUST GIRLS
obsetress: aw baby has a type
em: so actually it is DANI who ends up w the strongest routine
em: just short bob hair viola sitting next to jamie and dani has a fuckjng. out of body experience. perceives herself a little too hard
obsetress: she's just. staring
obsetress: mouth def hanging open
obsetress: then someone's like "dani? dani?" and she's blinking like five times in a row and sitting up straight
obsetress: but she does def have that moment at brunch
em: jamie doesn’t twig it
em: violas like. violas got a keen eye for anyone ‘copying’ her style. raises one devastating eyebrow
obsetress: dani and vi devastating eyebrow partners n crime
obsetress: later that night, in bed: jamie?
jamie: wot?
dani: do i have a type?
obsetress: jamie immediately wants to jump to no because how could she have anything in common w––
obsetress: oh. oh
em: jamie’s lil wispy premature greys set her apart
em: ‘jamie HATES it when she has things in common w viola’ is my favourite bit sjddkhd
obsetress: jamie "not sure how viola has no greys n she's how much older than me again" taylor
em: dani realises she actually has. no idea how old viola is
em: barely even knows a birthday
em: maybe viola even has like. a decoy birthday
em: queen of being mysterious for the drama of it all
obsetress: "she's just too stubborn to grey is all" "i'm stubborn!" "mm" "wossat supposed to mean" "you're..." "i'm what" "you like to... pretend? you're stubborn" "pretend i'm–– i am!" "jamie, i asked you to repark the car because i didn't want to get out of bed and it's street cleaning day and you immediately jumped up to do it even though you can barely parallel park"
em: WHIPPED
obsetress: jamie's quiet for a long time then, softly: "can parallel park just fine"
obsetress: "mm"
obsetress: whipped as hell
obsetress: this led me to everyone making dani or viola parallel park all the time when they go anywhere
obsetress: hc dani is a Very Good driver. idk why but it tickles me
em: i think um. dani is v independent and wants to be able to do things herself
em: and i think she probably got her license before eddie, but as soon as eddie got his....
obsetress: and dani's better than him n got a better score than him, and yet
em: and yet!
em: they swap out being deso driver if they’re gonna be drinking. or jsut call a taxi lmao
em: i’m so endeared by Extremely Good Driver Dani
em: dani does a reverse park without thinking
obsetress: viola loves her martinis n dani is drunk off of half a glass of sangria
obsetress: same!!!!!!!
obsetress: also just like. imagining
obsetress: dani checking all her mirrors
em: no
em: HANNAH
obsetress: and adjusting everything so fastidious
obsetress: OH GOD
obsetress: i didn't––
em: i jumped
em: phew it’s actually cute
obsetress: yeah! dw i'm not sick
em: well
obsetress: she just goes through her whole lil checklist and is so meticulous and precise
em: jamies like ‘we’re the same height’ and danis like ‘well.’
obsetress: oh god the four of them driving to the seaside for a vacation together (lots of content to mine here, will have to put a pin in most of it because i am getting sleepy) but they end up taking the truck much to vi’s chagrin just because it can hold the most
obsetress: (like viola doesn’t have a range rover but listen it needs to be dani n jamie’s car for this to work)
obsetress: and vi and rebecca are sitting in the back and then rebecca’s frowning and blinking and digging a headband out of the seat between them and viola immediately just. knows
obsetress: she’s like “dani?” “mm?” “you and jamie... have cleaned your car recently, right?” (jamie’s chiming in: “i’m right here, vi, you can address me too,” viola pointedly ignores her) “um... maybe a couple months ago? why?” “well,” and vi pokes her disdainfully with the headband, “can you at least tell me you’ve had it cleaned between whenever this got stuck between the seats and rebecca and me sitting here now?”
obsetress: dani just GRINS sheepishly
obsetress: “i could tell you that, but...” “but?” dani mumbles “it would be a lie”
obsetress: anyway dunno why vi’s that upset about having to sit in the backseat where dani n jamie hooked up, like, last week when it’s not like she and rebecca haven’t been inside the two of them respectively but it’s absolutely the kind of contrarian shit she’d choose to be pressed about and it makes me laugh so
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happikattwuzheere · 4 years
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was gonna try and do multiple characters in one post but nope! i have too much to say. also the pictures are all different sizes so its rly hard to get the photoset to look appealing, so we’re starting w/ blue. and also a colored pic of what adam looks like when he’s not a deer. boy’s tryin not to stand out. which goes great up for him right up until it doesn’t. lmao. i’ll talk a bit about him too w/ stuff that didnt get mentioned in the starter post about him and gansey, but this is mostly gonna be about blue. 
SO. 
there’s this fey entity, right? i don’t have a name for them, but they’re not...they didnt START the fey/human conflict, but they are benefiting from it, politically speaking? and when maura was younger, despite other witches being like “girl dont choose sides, we’re witches, we guard boundaries but we don’t choose sides,” was hotheaded and brash and went “ok but fuck that though” and one thing led to another and she ended up getting a curse on her firstborn. Oops. that’s where the kissing curse comes from, here; i’ll get into that much later in a text post probably but gansey’s survivor’s guilt thing doesnt come from him actually dying in this au it’s from something Else, but blue will still kill him if she kisses him, just, for different reasons, it’s an actual curse this time and not something to do with the nature of who they both are. 
her father’s still a tree light, but like, she actually knows that from the outset? because. they live in cabeswater. the tree lights are all around and accept her as one of their own even if she can’t turn into a tree, and as a result of that, she’s got some cool perks. 
a) extremely resistant and/or outright immune to a Lot of fey bullshit 
b) still boosts psychic energies and magical powers like in canon
c) the absolute safest person to be traveling in cabeswater ever, because the forest itself loves her, and also if you mess with her within the borders of cabeswater a bunch of tree lights will physically manifest and be like “hey buddy wanna think twice about that”
but she can’t use magic herself, still, which actually works in the favor of herself and the coven--witchcraft is in a sort of weird spot, culturally, where it’s both feared and often hated, but also understood to at times be necessary, especially by rural peoples like those of the village. im taking a very discworld spin on the witchcraft, because i love discworld and you can’t stop me, and so the attitude is, like. its frightening ancient magic and the church hates it but when there’s an emergency and someone’s on the border between life and death, or something is trying to pass into this world from another, etc etc etc, then you gotta suck it up and call on a witch because they’re the only ones who can deal with those things. so. the coven is tolerated, both because it’s too big and powerful to actually fight but also because it’s extremely needed when you live in a village right next door to fey lands. you NEED someone watching the border. however that doesn’t mean anyone wants to be seen publicly talking to a witch--but blue’s not a witch. she’s a witch’s daughter, but she’s not a witch herself, which is a step removed enough that she can go into town and run errands and also people will maybe pull her discretely aside and tell her if something’s coming up that the coven should know about, and it all works very neatly with her acting as a sort of liaison. very important role she plays, which is why gansey tries talking to her after his initial attempt to speak with the coven directly fails. 
speaking of the coven itself: i’ve been calling it the fox way coven, even tho it probably wouldn’t be called that because there’s no road called fox way that the coven is built on, it’s a big magic house out in the fairy forest, BUT they do have a fox theme because i love foxes and this is a gift i have been given. if people have familiars in this coven, they’re foxes rather than cats, because as wonderful as cats are u cant have them and foxes in the same house that will go bad. but also there’s a v small number of them, like maybe three or four total out of the much higher number of women living there, who are fey blooded like adam, but who become foxes rather than adam’s deer. persephone is one of these! (it’s worth noting the reason why they become the same animal is because of a combination of coincidence, intentional theming, and mostly just because like, virtually all of the residents there aside from persephone are related to either maura or calla) 
anyway the point is, because of this, blue’d seen enough feyblood transformations that when, one day when she was 9 or 10, on a visit to town, she saw the most distressed, disoriented fawn wobbling around frantically and was able to very quickly recognize that that was, in fact, a person who had probably turned into a deer for the first time, and responded by very calmly informing him that she knew who could help and leading him home. this is where those last two pictures come from, and how adam’s apprenticeship started. 
like, there was a lot of arguing from the witches immediately--of course we’re going to teach him how to become human again but we aren’t really going to take him on in the coven are we? he’s a boy, he’s some local kid we know nothing about, what happened to keeping it in the family, he’s the wrong animal and we’ve got a whole thing going on--at which point persephone parted everyone like the red sea, took one look at adam, went “mine now” and despite a lot of grumbling that was the end of it. she took him on a bit of a tour of cabeswater a few days later, after he’d had time to think it over, and he felt so drawn to the forest that he agreed to the apprenticeship.
so he’s technically persephone’s apprentice but like in actual practice he’s being taught by the entire coven lmao, ANYWAY
adam being adam also had a backup plan for trying to get out of the village--even at ten he figured witchcraft might be a first way out of there, he was already thinking about it, but by thirteen when the good ole abuse started (and at which point the last whispers of dissent died out very quickly amongst the coven, nope, adam is one of us now, do you want us to very threateningly hang out in your front yard sometime because we can do that--what do you mean no, let us do this,) he was also like. i dont think this is a guarantee of getting out of here i need a second job. and the thing is, as was mentioned in the original post, the fey blood also means adam’s got issues with iron; it’ll poison him if he’s stabbed with it but it also reacts to his skin touching it like a hot stove. he’s fine if there’s a layer between his skin and the iron, but if he touches it directly, it’s Bad. so ofc this headstrong idiot takes an open spot a t a metalworker’s in the village because adam is the king of making bad decisions. the witches have a betting pool on how long it’ll take him to out himself. “its fine i’ll wear gloves,” he says. “it’s the perfect disguise no one will expect someone with fey connections to work near so much iron,” he says. “i have everything perfectly under control,” he says.
anyway he totally forgets to wear gloves before grabbing an iron tool while his dad and his boss are both in the store and in clear view of him and that’s why he was getting chased by hunters when gansey rescued him 
also he and blue tried dating when they were like 13-14 and it ended about as badly as in canon and they made up later and by the time the story starts they’ve settled into very much being weird siblings. adam starts hanging out with gansey initially to try and basically spy on him, figure out why he’s here, but ends up rly liking the guy and deciding his reasons are sincerely to try and help people, and he tells this to blue who starts immediately accusing him of having a crush on the lordling and being a class traitor, because she does NOT like gansey at this point and really the nobility all prefer wizards to witches which is a stupid idiot decision and frankly the fact that this lordling is apparently enamored by some random deer is hilarious to her, but even moreso is the fact that adam actually defends the lordling to her, like, “wow adam its hilarious that the lordling’s friend thinks that you have charmed the lordling because from my perspective it looks the other way around” “shut uuuup you’re not listening im serious, like, yeah ok he put his foot in his mouth really hard when he talked to you but im telling you i dont think the whole i-wanna-understand thing is an act” “idk if i can trust you through those rose tinted glasses buddy. tell me again about that time he called you princely?” “oh my god” 
this is turning into rambling but. thats the gist of the witches and blue esp thank u for coming if u made it this far here’s a bonus persephone fox 
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pasttorn · 3 years
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      -- SHORP. mega quick update on what’s up with me & a mini announcement that i’d LOVE if y’all could spare a couple minutes to look through ( & maybe consider joining or sharing with a friend y’all feel would be interested ! ). 
        -- EVEN if y’all don’t care about me as a mun / blog, at least skim the announcement section bc it’s important to me & where i am rn ! 
     UPDATE ! !
       -- SINCE december, i’ve started college ! ! the saving up year of college at least, bc the college i’m in has this thing where if we don’t have enough money to pay for the tuition fee ( which rly is just, money for us to spend throughout our first year & our trips & other expenses like food or gasoline ) we can join the saving up year & they’ll give us a job to earn the money. & while i was a bit more free before, they finally found a job for me at the canteen, which means i’m off cooking with the head chef for literally the entire day for the whole campus-- which is largely the reason i haven’t written much or said anything here ! !
      -- I’M trying as hard as i can to manage my time better in order to not be so tired / drained at the end of the day, in order to try to write something here or spend time with closer rp friends, but between moving to a new place ( since i’m living in the campus now, which is in a whole different country to where i was ! ) & getting used to the job & getting to know my teammates / classmates that i’m gonna be working with the next four+ years, it’ll take me a lil’ bit longer to try to get this blog up & running again. 
       -- FOR those wondering, i’m NOT dropping this blog & i’m not dropping any of the threads / asks i have saved up unless my rp partners don’t wanna keep writing them anymore, because this blog is too important for me to just give it up, but i am gonna be quiet / on a mini hiatus a lil’ bit longer. if any ship partners ( be it platonic or romantic ) that have a close relation w/ my muse want to break things up & move on, then even though it’d sadden me to see it end, i’d understand, because i cannot guarantee i’ll be the most active in plotting or thinking about our muses relationships & it might take some more time before i can go back to ‘ normal ‘ here-- but if y’all are willing to wait a bit longer, then i’d love it if we could continue it. if you don’t, then please tell me so we can make changes at some point because the last thing i want is for y’all to feel i’m neglecting you or your muse, which is not my intention & i apologise if i ever made y’all feel that way.
     ANNOUNCEMENT ! !
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       -- TIME to promote the college i’m currently studying at ! ! or am gonna be studying at in september, at least ishuegrdfmkcvx. the college is DNS Necessary Teacher’s Training Programme, & it’s a college dedicated to training teachers ! ! honestly i’ve only been in the campus for a month now, & from the chats i’ve had with people from other years & from graduates & from my teammates in general, i can already tell it’s gonna be a worth it sort of experience. in their own words, we’re all not looking to be the ‘ traditional ‘ type of teachers, & are learning by experiencing & travelling-- the first year we travel to africa, & in the second year we ( your school year team ) picks a country in europe to live in & work in ! ! 
       -- IF you don’t have enough money, that’s alright ! you can join the saving up year, & earn the money here yourself ( & in the chance you don’t make enough, the team is here to pay the difference if we can ). if you’re worried you’re too young or too old for the programme, let me just tell you that in the 2021 school team ( the year i’m in ) the ages range from 18 to 27. if you’re worried about previous experiences, just know that this my first time in a college or even getting a job, & we’re all ! ! willing to help with anything as a team. all you really need is the drive to be committed to the programme & to the team-- because you are going to be busy almost all day, & it might get tough to deal with sometimes, & you need to know what you’re comfortable with or are not comfortable with doing.
       -- I was very nervous before coming bc rly, i’m an introverted fool that still doesn’t know what i want out of life even though i’m 21 & should know at this point, & even had a breakdown the first night i got here bc i was in a new place on my own & didn’t know what the fuck i was getting into & was so afraid of disappointing everyone, but god everyone here is super welcoming & understanding about everything. since the month i’ve been here, i’ve made friends that also very much love anime, have found out that sexuality ( or the lack thereof ) is openly discussed & accepted, there’s a D&D group & there’s just, a bunch of creativity everywhere. & yeah, it can be overwhelming sometimes, but there’s always someone in the team who would be willing to spend time with you & to help you out with whatever you may need, because in the end we’re all dealing with the same things. i’ve even gotten along with people from other school years ( that started their studies in 2020 or 2018 ), & honestly you can’t even tell they’re in a different year at times bc everyone is always so kind & open about everything.
     -- I’M not gonna lie, i’ve only been here a month for the saving up, & so far all of this feels like a real life acnh adventure, where everyone in the team is the mayor. wild comparison but everyone is so welcoming & we all live in the campus & see each other every day, that it really feels like interacting with other villagers & the money we make goes to maintaining the college / the community / our team, so it very much feels like i’m the mayor / mc in anch trying to decorate the island / make it better idK
          LINKS to check out ! ! 
Quick 3 min video ! ! ! pls watch ! ! !
WEBSITE
FACEBOOK PAGE
INSTAGRAM
NEWSLETTER
       -- IF you have any questions about the programme or what it’s like to study here, pls don’t be afraid to hit me up in DM’s either on here or on disc//ord ( SHORP#8549 ) ! ! i’d be more than happy to answer any questions or share images / videos bc god, it’d be so cool if one of y’all or someone y’all know would be interested in the programme ! 
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lizbotw · 3 years
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okay not a request! i just wanna talk to you about characters bc i love you 😌💕 but what do you think valentine’s day with kaminari would be like? literally just tell me the first things that come to mind! just a no pressure thing where we can talk (ahem scream) about our favs if you feel up to it 😭 <3 anyway i hope you’re having a good day 💕💕💕
turn it up... i’ve been waiting for this one 😁
hellooo my best boy i think abt him daily asf bye 😣 ew he would be so cheesy that’s horrible i love him 😁
he would make you so many cards with pick-up line puns omfg. his dorm looks like he’s doing a kindergarten craft project the night before... he has the safety scissors, the construction paper (imagine him making time after school to go to the craft store and look for ur fav colors pls he thinks he’s a genius), the glue sticks, the glitter uh oh
sero helps him bc 🤝 kirishima too!!! best bros, let’s get it 😎 it was just supposed to be kami + sero but then kirishima shows up to kaminari’s room because that’s just what he does so then kiri gets put on snack duty bc this is a lot of hard work and they need fuel
the problem is... kiri is somehow bad at that. long story short iida caught him trying to lug a bunch of the dorm’s supply of chip bags up to kaminari’s room and lectured him about how it’s not healthy 🙄 so now they have no junk food so they actually have to make something...
kirishima is trying, he really is, but god can he not cook. after it is clear he sucks at cracking eggs, they switch so now sero is on snack duty and kirishima is helping kaminari make the cards and it’s actually going sort of okay 😁 they have a rhythm + everyone knows their role and it’s not a perfect system but y’know 😁
yeah but that doesn’t really last. bakugou comes into the kitchen... says sero sucks at cooking and takes over that </3 mina appears bc omg food and then she finds out how they’re helping kami make valentine’s cards for you and she wants in. queen of romance. she has such a big brain and comes up with even better puns. probably ropes jirou in too bc girls okay. suddenly everyone is involved, awesome sauce 👍
anyway yeah they do those and kaminari leaves them in places for you to find throughout the day like pls why is there so much glitter.......... aizawa is annoyed. probably. maybe. like you are tracking glitter all over the school but it’s legit NOT ur fault!!! it’s the cards!!!
anyway that’s off topic but yeah he has the cards w the puns AND he has a whole list of puns + pick-ups lines in his phone to say to you he memorized them too but like the list is just in case he forgets, you know idk he probably checks the list when ur not looking and when you turn back to him he’s all like 😁 it’s very cute idk like if u try to forget for one second that today is valentine’s day... well u won’t. bc it’s everywhere
probably got so caught up with everything that he forgot the flowers esp bc he was running late </3 idk if it’s just my area but there’s legit sm places to buy valentine’s stuff on the walk to school even. like just walk around the block during ur lunch period and sm ppl are selling flowers n bears n chocolates n stuff. crazy.
yeah so when he’s walking to school he buys a bouquet from some random seller and thanks the heavens that he doesn’t have to go back to the flower store halfway across town rn 😤 but he still chooses a pretty bouquet even if it’s last minute okay 😁 (whatever “pretty” means in his standards...) feeling like he probably gets light pink roses i will not accept anything other than roses... not sure if ppl do other types of flowers anyway tbh. am not an expert
he also has basic ass chocolates 🙄 idk what the typical ones are but whichever ones are like the target of chocolates. they’re good yes but everyone has them... where’s the creativity (i’m kidding, they’re very cute! you expected nothing less from your boyfriend. thanks king)
idk i feel like a lot of ppl say arcade dates w him but it just makes sense 😩 so there’s that. but anyway i think it would just be chill after school w him lol you can just go out to eat at ur usual spot or idk maybe somewhere new but tbh anywhere works bc all the restaurants have cute valentine’s decorations set up so it sets the cute mood!
might wear rly bright valentine’s outfits to go out idk like you both look cute and trendy. you probably take the cutest insta pics together too like w you kissing his check or smth cheesy LMAO pretty simple and normal but it so fun <3
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exclamaquest · 3 years
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Would ya look at that? I got powers au brainrot now lmao. A few questions!
1) So I'm getting the idea that the remnants want to get rid of Hopes Peak because of all of the unethical shit, but what about Junko? And a few follow-ups, why does she go to the remnants alone and not with Mukuro? What is the relationship between those two also?
2) You said something about miu startin an uprising, does that include just the v3 kids or do the the kids join in? And do they eventually team up w/ the remnants?
3) what's the dynamic between mukuro kaito and maki?? Iirc you mentioned something about that a bit ago?
4) do they have like, costumes or something? Because with the whole 'hopes peak exploiting kids by using their public image to sell merch' thing, Id assume they just wouldn't let them go about in plain clothing?
5) what's ur stance on fanart?? I love this au bro and I kinda wanna draw something??
Rip that was a lot, and you don't have to answer everything obviously but I'm just rly curious abt this au cuz it's just rly fun to think about?? Anyways, thats all I got rn, hope you have a good rest of your day/night! :D
1) junko is portrayed as the dumb ditzy bad girl, same as her mentor, ibuki. she HATES it with a passion and wants out. so when the remnants "die", of course she finds them and springs them. and of course mukuro comes with her. what she doesn't count on is mukuro going back. they're a lot more realistic siblings in this au i think FDSKFSD mukuro isn't just blind devotion. she makes her own choices, even when it's hard.
2) yeah!! she gets in contact with junko after a LOT of stuff goes down and basically convinces them to help take down hope's peak in a more constructive way. there's a cool parallel of chiaki trying from the inside, junko from the outside, and miu from somewhere in the middle. she's making her own path.
3) i'm just gonna copy some notes in here FKDSKFDS
"Makoto refuses to take a sidekick and Mukuro gets saddled with two. Kaito and Maki.
In spite of not being the “leader” or paired up with Makoto, he still tries to fill the role. He’s Luminary, getting the chance to guide others! To pep them up and help them out! Tenko does not take super well to these attempts to be the unofficial leader. They clash a lot at first.
Kaito was originally going to be Makoto’s sidekick. Not even for battle reasons, but to groom Kaito into being the next leader. He has the looks. He has the presence. He has the desire to be the hero. What he doesn’t have is the ability to come back from death like Makoto can. Makoto puts down his fist and pulls all the strings he can get to reject Kaito and transfer him to Mukuro. Because he trusts Mukuro to keep him safe, which is more than Mukuro could ever hope for because she's a defector from the Remnants, and now she’s being trusted!
The moment they try to pair Makoto and Kaito together is the same moment Makoto realizes that Hope’s Peak truly doesn’t care about them. They’re setting Kaito up to be a martyr. He's brash and stubborn and self-sacrificing and so so so starry eyed when it comes to Hope’s Peak and powers and he is going to get himself killed! And Hope's Peak knows and they know this kid idolizes the heroes and the school and the idea of being a hero and still they do not care! There is no way Kaito will not die. Even after this Kaito blames Makoto. He had the chance to be a star, to really help people, and in his eyes Makoto took that chance away."
and
"Maki’s whole life is for the orphanage. Her entire worth is her worth as a weapon, in order to support the orphanage financially. She volunteers to be an assassin in place of her girl best friend. Assassin training is a lot of torture essentially. Because of this, being a healer hits her hard. She's not allowed to fight because she has to stay behind to heal. She feels useless. She’s not being utilized to her full potential. This is entirely purposeful on Hope’s Peak’s part.
Maki’s healing powers are also a big part of why Makoto pushes for Kaito to be put with Mukuro. Kaito is gonna die. Might as well have someone who can help him.
Maki’s power is so incompatible with her image of herself. This isn’t what she does. She's a weapon. And weapons don't heal.
Miu and Angie are jealous of Maki. Angie subtly and subconsciously. She’s almost passive aggressive about it. Miu loudly. Miu calls her names at breakfast and she just takes it. Not only can Maki touch others, but she can help them.
Nobody gets what they want.
After Kaito dies or nearly dies, and then comes back he starts pulling Makotos. Maki's always there to bring him back. Until she isn’t.
Mukuro and her idiots. The four of them (Mukuro, Hiro, Maki and Kaito) work as a cohesive unit. Mukuro the reluctant older sister, Hiro falling into the role he usually fills and swearing to be better this time. Both of them seeking some sort of redemption."
4) all their canon outfits are their costumes. they're chosen to fit a specific image. most of them HATE their costumes at the beginning, and even the ones that like them (miu, celestia) grow to despise them.
5) i would be so much more than okay w fanart you have no idea i would love love love to see whatever anyone makes about any of my aus!!!
don't apologize i love answering stupid long asks ive got one im working on rn actually!! im really glad you like powers au theres a LOT to cover ive only barely scratched the surface of!! and good day/night to you too!! im about to pass out right after answering this fKDSKFS
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ao3gingerswag · 3 years
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on the whole idea of the boys when they're older interacting with kids, what if one day a kid comes in with his family who's like rly shy and timid, like not bc of abuse he's just rly shy and with his family who are perhaps quite boisterous and he's not and he gets quite anxious and there's a whole thing where the boys are able to bring him out of his shell ;~; like when he and his family are sitting down for a meal dean comes out with their food and makes him relax bc hes so good with kids. he comes down during the night bc he heard a noise and got scared and cas is down there cleaning up for the night and talks to him about nature to calm him down and the boy is like :)) and then the next morning he's outside and there's other kids who are playing with sam and he's off to the side but sam notices and is able to bring him into the play and he ends up making friends with the other kids, and then by the time the family have to leave the inn he's like smiling and happy and he turns to his parents and is like 'can we come back here soon :D' and it's this rly nice moment, maybe from his perspective so we get to see others reactions to the boys :))
ALSO AS I WAS WRITING THIS I HAD AN EPIPHANY WHAT IF THE BOY IS JACK. DOESN'T NEED TO BE BUT IT WORKS KINDA WELL!!
awwww this is so cute!!! Maybe this could be combined with the prompt about cas helping the family with an autistic child and helping the parents understand their kid better....like maybe the kid is autistic and so he has a hard time talking sometimes and is withdrawn bc of difficulty interacting with others. and dean is so good with kids, even if he can't spot right away that the kid is autistic like cas would be able to, he can tell when he comes out with the food that the kid is in distress. like he's like and here's yours sir :) to the kid (dean is very polite but he is calling the kid sir as a bit of a joke to make the kid smile) and the kid like doesnt look up and the parents are like oh sorry he's just shy. and dean is like oh. hmmm. cause the kid has like his fingers clenched in his tunic. when he comes back out he like crouches next to the kid to make him feel more comfortable and is like hey :) i'm dean :) and the kid doesnt look up or say anything and the parents r like sorry he gets like this idk why. jack look at the nice boy and introduce yourself. (i didnt watch the later seasons but from what i see on tumblr.edu the consensus is that jack is autistic so!) and dean is like no thats ok he doesnt have to look at me/talk to me. and then to jack he's like. u know i have a friend who doesn't always look at people or talk to them and we get along just fine. so i think me and jack are gonna get along great :) and then to jack he's like. you know. my friend and i dont always talk using our voices. sometimes we use our hands! (i guess this is post meeting eileen- i've said this on a different post but once dean cas and sam r introduced to the concept of sign language they adopt it immediately bc cas feels so much more comfortable communicating like that when he's having trouble w/ words) and jack is like ??! so turns towards dean w/o making eye contact, clearly intrigued. and dean is like :) wanna see? :) and jack nods. and dean shows him a few basic signs and jack mimics him. and one of the words is upset. and then once jack learns it, dean signs "you upset?" to him. ;~; and jack nods. and dean is like. wanna tell me what's up? maybe i can help! and then jack does the shy kid thing of indicating with body language that they dont wanna say what's wrong out loud, so dean leans in and jack whispers into his ear "loud." and dean is like oh! i see! we can fix that :) can i tell your parents what you just told me? and jack nods. so dean says to the parents (who r looking on in bemusement) its a bit loud in here for jack. mind if i take him outside for a minute? and the parents are like oh! sweetheart why didnt you tell us? (they arent bad parents they just dont get jack and its the middle ages so its not like there is info out there) and jack shrugs and the parents sort of helplessly shrug at each other, bc jack not verbalizing issues is a common problem for them. and they r like um its ok u dont have to take him outside we will take him. but do u mind bringing our food outside and stuff. like can we eat there. and dean is like of course no problem! and theyre like r u sure? im sorry that u have to go out of ur way for us, im sorry about our son, he can be. kinda fussy sometimes. and dean is like literally dont worry about it!
so then jack's parents take him outside and they all eat on the porch, and dean keeps popping back over to check on them. and jack is clearly much happier and starts to become much more verbal now that he's not overstimulated. still shy and quiet but much more smiley and every time dean brings them something he's very quietly like "thank you."
omg! maybe dean notices that he's not eating his food and so he's like do we want something else? and the parents r like omg no omg im sorry he's just so particular about what he likes omg the food is great jack pls eat ur food dont be rude. and dean is like he's not being rude at all he's a very polite young man :) id be happy to bring something else out. and the parents r like. well. if you're sure...he likes things that r like. boring. like really really boring. like plain porridge with nothing in it and stuff like that. and dean is like mashed potatoes? and the parents r like yes! and jack perks up. and so he brings that out for jack. and he brings it out and the parents r like omg omg thank u SO much for going so out of ur way for our weird kid even tho he still wont look at u at all. they dont say that part they're not assholes to jack, its implied tho and jack kinda curls into himself bc hes embarrassed about causing problems. and dean ofc notices and is like. u know. my friend who talks with his hands can be very particular too. he doesnt like the noise in the dining room either, and he also only likes certain foods. and jack perks up again :)
ahhh he keeps coming out to check on them and he's like hey how u doing? and!! oh no maybe dean also taught him the sign for happy and he signs "happy" at dean ;~:
to be clear- dean doesn't make the connection that jack LIKE like cas, as in he's autistic, at least not yet. like i think he WOULD if he had more time with him, but cas is the only autistic person he's ever met, and he just met jack. dean def just thinks he's very shy, but he's great with kids and can tell right away that jack is upset, and he shows him the signs not cause he realizes that jack is actually non-verbal in that moment but because he really doesnt care if the kid doesn't want to talk to him, he just wants to help. and he shows him the signs and stuff bc he wants the kid to tell him whats wrong, but kids wont tell strangers that if u just ask upfront, you have to gain their trust a little first ;~; and dean understands all of this instinctually bc he's great with kids so he manages to figure out whats wrong and solve the problem even without realizing that jack is autistic. ;~;
the person who figures out that jack is autistic is definitely cas!! jack comes down in the middle of the night maybe not cause he hears a noise, maybe he just cant sleep bc he hates his routine being disrupted and being in a new place ;~; and the sheets feel all wrong and everything smells wrong and everything is different and he hates it ;~; so he comes downstairs maybe be he's crying and he doesnt want to wake his parents up. and cas is downstairs cleaning up still, it's totally quiet tho now so there is no overstimulation. and cas is like oh! a tiny person!! uuhhh.... he def panics a little bc he's not good w people and he's not sure what to do with a random crying child. maybe he briefly considers waking dean up bc dean is good with kids and also maybe he saw dean talking to jack earlier. but then hes like no dean is tired i dont want to bother him ill try to deal with it. and hes like um. hello. um. my name is castiel i am the owner of this inn. um i guess u dont care about that. um. r u ok? and then the kid signs "upset" ;~; and cas is like oh! bc thats their signs! so he signs "what's wrong, why are you upset?" back even tho like it's just their home signs so how would this kid know them. but he signed "upset" so cas responds kinda on instinct. and the kid does not understand anything other than upset bc dean only showed him like 5 signs and he kinda already forgot the other ones. but it doesnt matter! bc those r hand words like dean was talking about and showing him! which must mean this is his friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking!! and jack is verbally like. r u dean's friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking. and cas is like um? yeah i guess? thats me. and jack is like ! i am very particular too! and bc he trusts dean and now by extension cas, and believes dean about cas being "particular" like him, he doesnt feel embarrassed about admitting what's wrong. and he spills his guts hes like everything is WRONG i dont like how anything feels or smells or tastes and everything is different from how it is at home and i HATE it and mom and dad says thats rude but i dont want to be rude but i cant sleep bc everything is all wrong!!! ;~; and he says all this not looking at cas and waving his hands around his head. and cas is like......................................................................oh. hm. i see. this is Me.
so he's just very empathetic and is like im really sorry i totally understand, you're not being rude, i also feel that way whenever we travel and i also am very selective about what i can touch and eat and stuff and am very sensitive to the physical environment. i know i cant fix it all but is there anything i can do to help you feel better? do u want to try some different blankets? and he takes jack to the linen closet and is extremely patient as he brings down each blanket and lets jack touch each one and decide which is the best. and it DOESNT solve everything but just having someone take him seriously and listen to him makes jack feel so much better and hes eventually able to go back to sleep ;~;
in the morning theyre outside, sam who's like 16 or whatever is chasing the kids around playing tickle monster. and jack's parents try to get him to go play with sam and the other kids but he doesnt want to he's too shy and anxious. and cas keeps staring at jack like :( bc he KNOWS but he doesnt know what to do about it. he brings it up with dean and dean is like OH. i see THATS what was going on with him he's like you! and cas is like yeah :( idk what to do about it...
sam sees jack hanging around with his parents on the side and he's like hey! do u want to come play? and jack is like................ and his parents r like sorry hes really shy. and sam is like thats ok! i have an idea, why dont we change the game and we can play hide and seek! (bc that doesnt require jack to jump in to interacting with a big crowd of kids) he's like :) i bet u can hide real well! :) and jack is like! :D and he nods bc hes like whoa i CAN hide really well! and they play hide and ofc sam is the seeker but when he finds the kids he always kinda turns it into man hunt cause he's like ah HA i got u!!! and he chases them around. and eventually he finds jack and hes like mwahahahaha now im gonna EAT you!!! and jack like screeches and giggles and bolts away and sam chases him and the other kids, and basically he like tricks jack into playing the exact same game they were playing before by like easing him into it by not making the start of the game require walking up to a crowd of ppl. but then once they r in the game he's ok just running around with the other kids :)
meanwhile dean and cas watch this and dean is like. do u want to talk to the parents. and cas is like. :/ i dont know how to do that. like how would we even start that conversation. and dean is like. i can help u :) so he does! he's like hey u remember i was talking about my friend to ur son the other day? this is he! u met him when u were checking in! ive noticed that he's like really really similar to ur son and has some of the same issues, and we were wondering if u wanted to talk about how cas deals with some of those things? and basically dean eases them into the conversation and makes it unintimidating for both parties. and cas teaches the parents all about the concept of sign language, and how going non-verbal is more than just being shy, and like they start describing situations in which jack was like Weird theyre like one time he started screaming and crying and rocking in public we didnt know what to do! and cas is like well where were u? what was going on? and like helps them identify the kinds of sensory things that probably trigger jack and stuff. and just like. its a good convo.
omg and cas is literate by this point and maybe the parents r too and hes like. if u ever wanna write to me and ask me about more shit and whatever pls dont hesitate. and then they DO and basically they help this family understand and raise their autistic son and its great!!! :D
anyway this is a VERY long response i definitely just outlined a mini-fic here.
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