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#i got a reaction about 12 hours after the shot and then it lasted for about 24 hours
landofgay · 2 years
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I love how quickly me and bf fell into domesticity lol it's cute
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angywritesstuff · 1 year
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The one with “We were on a break”
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I have had this one shot ready for a week, but I didn’t post it because is not festive, but today I said fuck it 😂
Pairing: Henry Cavill x reader
Summery: After a fight you and Henry decide to take a break… you spend all your night deciding if maybe you didn’t make a mistake, Henry spends his night differently Warnings: angst, cheating (is it cheating? is it not? if you have seen the episode of Friends this is inspired of, you know what I mean), child abandonment. Poorly written English, English is not my first language so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes
The last year had been difficult for you and Henry, the constant arguing, the couple therapy, the costant nagging every time he traveled for more than a week without you, the fear every time he went out with his friends.
It all had started 12 months ago: you had just been promoted at your job and you couldn't have been happier, after years and years of given your all to your job your boss was finally recognizing your effort, you were engaged to the love of your life, you had a beautiful house and a super cute and fluffy pup. But the promotion hadn't only come with the gratification of your effort being recognized, it was also followed by a lot more responsibilities and hours in the office.
Henry had been happy and supportive of you, of course he had been, he had always wanted for you to be fulfilled in every aspect of your life and he knew that, even if you didn't need to work because he could provide with anything you could need and want, you had always wanted to be indipendent, you didn't want him to think you cared about his money, not even for a second. You always joked that when he got tired of it he could just "hang up the cape” and you would give him an allowance.
Even though he couldn't have been happier for you and your accomplishments, the longer hours in the office had started to weigh on both of you and your relationship.
Your relationship had always needed a lot of work: Henry traveled a lot for his job but you had always managed because you used to have stable hours, but being now the head of your own team you couldn't always go back home at 5 p.m. like you used to, beside you had just been promoted you couldn't ask for time off already.
All of that had reduced the time you could spent with Henry when he was home and it had started a chain of reaction that had ended with the biggest fight you and your fiancè had ever had in four years of your relationship.
You could still remember that day, and the days after, like it was yesterday, you could still remembered the emptiness you had felt as soon as Henry had slammed the door of your house, you could still feel the dread of losing the love of your life for a mistake you weren't sure you could forgive.
-10 months before-
You were in your office with your boss Daniel, trying to fix the mess that was the last shipment, you could see your cell lighting up with Henry's calls, but you could also feel your boss eyes burning the back of your head so you couldn't really answer, beside you were almost done. You didn't know what time it was, you didn't know how long it had taken but you had done it: you had fixed the problem and you had impressed your boss.
"Good job today, I was sure you were the right person for the promotion but i'm happy I wasn't wrong"- Daniel, your boss had smiled at you… and he never smiled, so you took it as a win.
"Thank you"- you had said while putting your coat on
"Why don't you take the next couple of days off? I know the last couple of months, after your promotion, have been tough and don't think I haven't noticed that you have been the last one leaving the office almost everyday since getting promoted. The project is bascially done, we have fixed the shipment problem, I'm sure your team can manage the last details without you"- you wanted to jump for the happiness but had tried to stay professional.
"Are you sure?"- you double checked
"Of course, you deserve it. I don't want to see you until next week"- Daniel said while leaving the office.
You were on cloud nine, you were tired of course but you couldn't wait to be home: all you wanted was to get home, drink a glass of wine and tell Henry the good news. You couldn't wait to spend some time with Henry: maybe you could take a long weekend trip, it was going to be amazing.
You arrived home and the first thing you noticed was that Kal didn't come as soon as he heard your car and that could mean only two things: he and Henry weren't home or Kal was too busy taking care of Henry to come to the door and that worried you...
"Babe? Kal? I'm home"- you said while hanging your coat. Henry didn't answer you but you could now hear Kal wining and the tv on so that meant he was home.
You went to the living room, sure that Henry was there by now, even if he hadn't answered when you had said hi, maybe he had just fell asleep while watching a film.
Only when you entered the living room you were able to noticed that the table was set, a simple candle as center piece, and a bouquet of red roses was resting on what was supposed to be your side of the table. Henry was on the couch and it was clear he was very much awake
"Babe. I'm so sorry, I-" you tried but he didn't let you finish
"it's 11 p.m. Y/n, you told me you were going to be home at 6 at most... at 6 and it's 11 pm"- you could see it was upset and the last thing you wanted was to have a fight. You were so tired, you just wanted to hug your boyfriend and go to sleep preferably with your bear of a man and your baby-bear of a pup keeping you warm.
"I know I'm sorry, I really tried but the shipment department made a mistake and it took a while to fix it but listen-" he stopped you again and now you were getting annoyed. He knew there were really few things that got on your nerves and people not letting you speak was one of them. But you took a deep breath trying to stay calm as long as you could because you could see Henry was mad and one of you needed to keep a clear head if you wanted to avoid a fight
"You tried, yeah that's what you keep saying, that's the only thing I have been hearing from you in the last two months, well that and the message on your voicemail since you seem to have decided to stop answering my phone calls. Do you even remember what today is?”-he asked and even before he had finished to speak you wanted to curse. Fuck the roses, the home cooked dinner, he was wearing your favorite suit...
"It's our anniversary"- you whispered, it's not like you had completly forgotten, you had rembered this morning but you hadn't seen Henry before going to work since you had gotten out while he was still on his morning run, just to be sure not to get late. You had asked your boss to go out a little bit early but then the mess had happened and you had forgotten about the anniversary, about the dinner Henry had planned weeks ago without telling you anything about it, wanting it to be a surprise. He had only aked you to be there and well... you hadn’t been .
"Yeah it's our anniversary and I just spent it without even seeing my fiancè since she was busy working all day"- he wasn't screaming, Henry never did, especially not at you, but it didn't mean he was any less angry
"I tried, I swear I had asked Daniel yesterday to finish early but-"
"Daniel of course"- he interrupted you again and now you had had enough
"What's that supposed to mean?"- now you were getting angry... ok you were sorry you forgot about dinner, you were sorry you got home late, but calm-Y/n had run out of patience and you didn't like the tone your fiancè was using with you
"There is something I should know? about you and Daniel?"- Henry asked and in that moment you could have strangled him
"Please tell me you are not serious right now"- you tried one last time to reasoned with your fiancé
"Do you think I didn't noticed how he looked at you at your promotion dinner? How he always tried to get his hands on you?"
"OH MY GOD! Not this again, there is nothing between us, he is fucking married and even if he wasn't do you really think I would cheat on you? is that the consideration you have of me? Do you really think that low of me?"- you didn't know if you wanted to cry or scream, maybe a bit of both. You were sure your relationship was solid but now it almost seems like it was falling to pieces in front of you
"No of course not. I dont know"- Henry said sounding deffeated
"You don't know... after four years together you dont know"- you could feel tears starting to fall but you didn't give them any mind -"Maybe we should take a break"- you added after a while you and Henry had spent waiting for the other to say something
"Yeah... let's just take a breath, I'm gonna take a walk, do you want me to get you something while I'm out?"- Henry was looking at you and even though you wanted to stop your mouth before it could spell the next words, you couldn’t, it almost seemed like you had lost control
"I meant a break from us"- you muttered
"You want to break up?"- Henry asked and you could see he was shocked and mad all over again
"I..."- you wanted to tell no but you couldn't speak, you wanted to stop him while he was getting his coat, you wanted to tell him you loved him when he was almost at the door, but you didn't. All you did was watch the love of you life slamming the door of your house while crying, Kal spent the whole time whining
-Now-
You had spent that night crying, trying to reach Henry on his phone to tell him you didn't really mean it, you were just tired and a little bit mad, you wanted him to get back home so you could rest and have that conversation when you weren't running high on emotion.
You had wanted to tell him you didn't mean it, there was no way you had meant it.
You heard the door opening and Henry getting in the house, you took a deep breath and tried to stop thinking about the past: you and Henry had moved past that fight and what it lead to. You had needed months of couple therapy but you were finally in a good place again.
"Hey baby"- you said while hugging Henry, the memory of that night had left you needing a little bit of affection
"You ok?"- Henry asked, he could probably see a lingering pain in your eyes, the pain form remembering but you didn't want to bring up that fight again, you had talk it through in therapy and you were over it, but sometime you still thought about that night, about what you could have said differently, you still wished no mistake had been made at work so that you could have been home on time... nothing would have happened then, or maybe it would have anyway, who knew. Your therapist had told you there was no good that could come from the 'what if' but you couldn't help yourself and, even if he didn't tell you, you knew it was the same for Henry, you knew he still thought about it, he still wished things had gone differently.
"Yeah of couse, I can't stop thinking about our trip for our anniversary in two months. Paris here we come"- you laughed trying not to think that your anniversary would always coincide with the worst memory of your relationship with Henry. But you had both decided you didn't want to lose the pleasure to celebrate your anniversary.
Henry smiled at you while tenderly kissing your temple
"I love you"- he said and your heart warmed as it did every time you heard those words from him. You two were ok... yeah you were
"I love you too"
You were about to kiss Henry when you heard Kal barking and the ring of the doorbell soon after.
"Are you waiting for someone?"- you asked
Henry shook his head before going to the door, you decided to stay in the kitchen so you could start cooking dinner, whoever was at the door Henry could handle it. But when 5 minutes had passed and Henry hadn't yet come back and hand't invited whoever was at the door in, you started to worry
"Henry who was it?"- you asked while reaching Henry at the door, but once you were there you almost stopped breathing: she was in your house with a stroller at her feet.
-10 months before- the day after the fight-
You had spent the previous night trying to reach your boyfriend on the phone to ask him to come back home, to let him know there was no way you wanted to break up, not even take a small break. That wasn't true, you had just been a little bit mad and very tired. But your calls hadn't been asnwered. You had then decided to leave him a message
"Hey baby I'm sorry about our fight, I didn't mean it, of course I don't want us to take a break. I'm gonna wait for you in our bed ok? Please come home. I love you"- your message had said
You were sure that as soon as Henry would have listened to your message, he would have come back home and you would have made up. There was no doubt in your mind.
You had fallen asleep while waiting.
The next day you had woken up expecting to find the warm presence of your fiance next to you, his big arms hugging you like he always did but you were alone, Henry's side of the bed was made.
You started to worry: there was no way that Henry after listening to your message hadn't come home, something must have happened.
You were ready to call every member of the Cavill family, every hospital in town to make sure he was ok, when you heard the door closing.
"Henry?"- you knew you were almost screaming but you were scared, you had been sure your fiance was nearly dead until a minute ago, otherwise why hadn't he answered your calls, why hadn't he come home.
"Oh my god Henry"- you flew in his arms as soon as you saw him, he squeezed you in between his arms, almost like he was sure you were going to leave. - "I'm so sorry about yesterday, I was just tired, you were right I need to balance my work and my personal life better, but you need to know I would never cheat on you, not with Danel, not with anyone. Beside Daniel gave me the next couple of days off, we could take the car and go on a road trip, we always wanted to do that. Henry are you ok? Did you get hurt?"- you asked in the end when you finally noticed you had been talking for minutes without Henry saying anything back.
"I'm sorry"- he only said
"I know I'm sorry too, we just had a fight, nothing that a calm conversation with a hot chocolate can't fix"- you gently kissed him on the nose.
Now that you weren't scare to death for your boyfriend safety, now that you could finally breathe and think clearly you noticed that your phone hadn't stopped beeping since you had woken up
"Oh my god, what is happening? I swear to god if something happened at work again I'm quitting"- you went to pick up your phone to understand what was happening that had people blowing up your phone.
"i'm sorry"- you heard Henry's saying once again while you looked at the thousand messages people had sent you, every one of them had photos of Henry with his arms around someone else, of Henry entering an hotel with another woman, photos of Henry kissing a woman that wasn’t you.
You looked at Henry and when he once again said sorry you were sure you were gonna be sick
-Now-
And now that woman was on your door step, with a straller on the floor at her feet.
"what is she doing here?"- you asked Henry and you knew you sounded harsh.
You could see the hurt in Henry's eyes, the fear of losing you, the same fear you had worked on together on therapy, you could see it, of course you could, but at the same time you could also see the woman your fiancé had cheated you with in your home, with a baby in toe.
“I don’t know”- Henry said unsure, it was clear he didn’t know who to look at, his eyes kept going from you to the women at your door to the baby no one had talked about yet.
You wanted to run, you really did, the woman that had almost broke your relationship forever was in front of your fiancé and even though you didn’t think Henry would hurt you like that again you weren’t going to risk it. You didn’t want to hate her: it was Henry who was in a relationship back then, he was the one who had made the mistake, but still you didn’t want to see her.
“I don’t want it”- the woman said bringing back you on earth
“What?”- Henry said
“I don’t want it, the baby, it’s yours. You can do whatever with it, you can keep it or give him up for adoption, I don’t care”- she sounded like she was talking about a thing and you really wanted to punch her
“You can’t just leave your baby with me, you don’t even know me”- Henry said while you stood there looking at the scene like it was a movie you were watching, like it wasn’t really happening in real life, like it wasn’t happening in YOUR LIFE.
“It’s not my baby”- she said before turning her back to you and leaving, the baby was still asleep in the stroller on the floor.
Henry picked the stroller up, and started to go in the living room, probably trying to understand what to do now
“Y/n”- Henry called you once he noticed you stood still at the door but you couldn’t move. You wanted to look at your fiancé but you knew once you did everything was going to become real or well real for you at least.
“Y/n, baby”- Henry said coming back to you once he was sure the baby was safe and asleep. He gently shook you, trying to get you to look at him and not at the now closed door
“You have a baby”- you just said
“I-“
“You have a baby with another woman… you had a baby with the woman you cheated me with”- you knew you sounded like a broken record but you were still processing
“We-“- Henry tried but you stopped him before he could even really begin
“Don’t even try saying that we were on a break, because I swear to God Henry… Fuck, you have a baby, and it’s not mine, fuck”- the tears were coming, you knew it, but you couldn’t help it, what do you do when your fiancé have a baby with the woman he has cheated you with?
“I think I need a moment”- you said
“Ok”- Henry said thinking you were going to go to the bedroom, but soon it was clear he had been mistaken -“where are you going?”- he asked when he saw you putting shoes and coat on and opening the door
“I need a moment”- you left without even looking at you.
You knew you should have stayed, you didn’t want to hurt him, you really didn’t but at the same time you were feeling all the hurt you had tried to leave behind and you didn’t know what to do.
-10 Months ago, the day after the fight-
“Y/n, talk to me please”- you had been staring at your phone for what it seems like hours without saying a word and Henry was starting to get worried. He tried to gently take your arm but you took a step back
“Don’t touch me”-
“I’m sorry, Y/n I made a mistake, an horrible one but I’m sorry”- Henry tried again
“A mistake?! You slept with another woman Henry”
“She didn’t mean anything”
“And yet she was worth jeopardizing our relationship”
“I didn’t think there was a relationship to jeopardize, I thought we were broken up”
“I asked for a break, a break I was ready to call off as soon as you got out of the house, I tried to call you so many times last night but you were too busy screwing someone else to answer me. You were busy sleeping with another woman after you had just accused me of cheating”-
“I’m sorry, I thought we were broken up, it doesn’t justify what I did I know, I fucked up but please, please, tell me we can fix it, tell me how to fix it”- Henry asked with glossy eyes
And you just stood there looking at the man you loved asking yourself if you would ever be able to forgive him
-Now-
You weren’t even sure where you were gonna go, you weren’t even sure what to do, you just got in the car and stood there.
You just stayed in the car, in front of your house where your fiancé was alone with a month-old baby, a baby that you didn’t give him.
You looked at your phone, you didn’t even know how but you had spent an hour in your car without doing nothing, you took a deep breath and looked at the house: there was no doubt anymore, you knew what you were going to do.
You exited the car and got in the house; you could hear the baby’s screams, so you let them lead you where your man and the baby were.
“You’re back”- Henry took a deep breath as soon as he saw you: you didn’t know if it was because he didn’t know if you were actually going to come back tonight or at all, or if he was hoping you could help him with a baby that apparently had been crying for a while, almost for as long as you had been gone.
“Why is the baby crying? Did you check the diaper? Did you feed him?”- you asked getting closer to Henry and gently caressing the baby’s feet
“You’re back” Henry said again
“Henry focus, yes I’m back”- you looked at your fiancé’s eyes for the first time since you had been back and you could see he was just as scared as you, you were both scared you weren’t going to survive another tsunami
“You left”- he just said
“I know, I’m sorry, I needed a moment or an hour apparently”- you shrugged
“Where did you go?”- he asked
“Nowhere actually, I just got in the car and stayed there, I needed a moment but we are gonna be alright, ok?”- you caressed Henry’s curls before pooping the baby nose softly watching the baby stopping screaming for a second before starting again -“we’re gonna be ok, we are probably gonna need to schedule a couple appointments with the therapist, but we are gonna get past this, but we need to focus on the baby right now.”
“Ok”- he just said waiting at you for direction… oh your man
“I think she left some formula and some diapers so I’m gonna take care of the baby and you are gonna make some calls”
“Calls?”
“Yes Henry calls. You need to call one of your brothers to get some stuff for the baby, the last thing we need is paps seeing me or worst you buying baby stuff, we need to be careful, at least until we have a better understanding of the situation. You also have to call your lawyer we need to know what to do, how we can be sure the baby is safe, how we can be sure no one can take him from us”- you were on a roll
“Us?”- Henry asked still shocked about the whole affair
“Yes us, if this baby is yours we’re gonna take care of him, love him like he deserves, like I know you have wanted to do as soon as she said it was your baby even if you haven’t said anything because you think I’m gonna leave you, I’m not. If you are the father, this baby is mine too, that’s it! But Henry tomorrow you need to make one more call, we need to have a paternity test made and probably have a doctor take a good look at him, just to be on the safe side”- you could see Henry’s heart breaking a little.
The little man has been in his life for just an hour and he was already attached, he was heart broken at the simple idea of giving him up.
“Henry I really hope she told the true, I know you want to be his father, but if you’re not, don’t you think his father deserves to know?”- you gently smiled at him
“You’re right”
“Of course I am, I always am right”- you smiled at him knowing that you were going to be alright. The baby, who had calmed down a little as soon as you had taken him in your arms and had started bouncing around, gave a little scream of unhappiness
“Yeah someone is hungry, aren’t you baby boy?”- you softly said to the baby.
You looked up, knowing that Henry was looking at you two and seeing his eyes filled with love you knew you were gonna make a beautiful family
“We’re gonna need a name”- you and Henry smiled
Ps: Feedback is always welcome and appreciated ❤️
Henry Cavill taglist: @xxxkatxo @mansaaay @thorins-queen-of-erebor @maan24 @grounded-in-light @omgkatinka @xprettyqueenx @marytudorbrandon @kebabgirl67 @narnianaos
(If you’re name is crossed it’s because I wasn’t able to tag you. If I forgot to tag someone please forgive me and tell me again 😅)
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Meghan and Harry: Episode 1
Why?
Seriously, why?
Bet let’s start at the beginning. I live-blogged the documentary on my Notes app. I wasn’t originally going to post it because I’ve stopped blogging, but omg, this is truly, as Scobie would say, the endgame. Of course, it’s not the monarchy losing the game. It’s the Harkles, They’ve checkmated themselves.
This was a six-hour own goal. I knew it was going to end badly for them when I saw Sunshine Sachs dropped them. Without SS astroturfing positive coverage all over the place they were doomed anyway.  However, the content of the documentary takes it beyond doom and into truly apocalyptic. I bet it has great ratings. It’s a complete train wreck.
[Edited after first liveblog: Netflix is calling it the most viewed documentary ever, but that’s misleading. It barely held on to The Crown’s audience which was its base number, and I doubt it will have the same staying power. Still, not a bad The Crown companion piece for Netflix.]
But let’s break it down.
Episode 1
Starting with shots in an airport lounge and a rented house looking like absolute crap is the weirdest branding idea I’ve ever heard of. They don’t look relatable. They look pathetic.
[I’m editing this after finishing their series and this opening is even more baffling now. Episode 5 covers their last week of royal engagements. First, that segment is a lot more glamorous and exciting than these sad-sack iPhone videos and they really should have opened with that. Second, Episode 5 shows they were elated and super excited after finishing those engagements. They loved the crowd reactions and the press coverage and were over-the-moon with happiness. These videos are supposedly shot after that and they are all sad and mopey and wondering “how they got here.” It’s a huge disconnect.]
The intro music screams “cheap YouTube production.” So does the stock photo montage. Oh, now it’s home movies…why? This resembles the video tab of a super-basic Facebook couple circa 2014. Netflix paid millions for this? I don’t think they got paid $100m, but I bet Netflix shelled out a tenth of that. They still overpaid.
[Actually, maybe they didn’t. The Crown cost $13 million per episode and they likely paid $10 mil for six episodes of Harry and Meghan which got the same audience.]
Now they are in a house (theirs? Victoria Jackson’s? Oprah’s?) that looks like a Restoration Hardware showroom and they look slightly less pathetic but also like they are in couples’ therapy. Oh, she did know who he was. What a shocker. Dimwit doesn’t seem to realize the implications. I wonder if the filmmaker is secretly mocking them.
[The house is a random rental that is now for sale so I wonder if they get a sales commission for the product placement. https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmareynolds/2022/12/20/montecito-home-where-prince-harry-and-meghan-markle-filmed-documentary-lists-for-335-million/?sh=3285e16b74fa]
My husband is watching with me. He was very confused by Meghan’s comment about how “when the stakes are so high” it makes sense to get the story from them. He doesn’t understand why the stakes are high. I told her Meghan is a narcissist and he didn’t believe me. He used to watch her on Suits and despite my best efforts still thinks she’s Rachel Zane. Anyway, he thinks the house looks like an expensive rehab clinic and now I can’t get that out of my mind. I think they are trying to look like the happy couples in When Harry Met Sally but it does feel like luxury drug rehab therapy full of Restoration Hardware furniture. He also asked me what was going on with Harry’s pupils in the airport lounge video. He thought that was weird. I tell him it's cocaine, but he thinks it's Xanax or something like that.
Montage. “They are destroying us.” “This has always been bigger than us.” Oh, please.
Montecito sunset. I guess this is their backyard? It looked better in the real estate photos. Meghan croons “isn’t it beautiful?” and Archie agrees. All I can think of is that these idiots used to live in freaking Windsor Park and now they have my grandma’s yard (complete with chicken coop and everything).
Walking with Archie. Harry mutters “this is a great love story” while pushing an empty newborn stroller (why? Where’s the baby? Is Meghan carrying the baby?). This is surreal. 
Glamorous wedding shot (a melancholic reminder of past glories, frankly) and it turns into a closeup of Harry’s legs. Eew.
Meghan goes to the chicken coop. There’s a lot of cyclone fencing in this house. 
Back to the Restoration Hardware Showroom. Meghan is in sweats because…I don’t know. Weird Instagram family pics including a sad little birthday party for Archie. Good lord, my kids had better parties than the King’s grandson. This is so pathetic. 
Oh, no. She got the cheap Amazon patio furniture protectors. At least they match the cyclone fencing. 
More family Instagram. They are protecting their kids…by putting them in a documentary?
Did I just see Harry’s underwear??!! Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Between the sale of family pics, the family drama, and the plumber’s crack, I’m starting to feel that Meghan married her dad.
Harry talks about consent with regards to his children…but they are too young to consent so it doesn’t really makes sense. Guess he thinks it’s only his consent that matters.
My husband asks if Harry is an addict. I suspect it’s partly his demeanor and partly the inconsistencies in the narrative. Meghan said she’d prefer Prince Harry, and that showed how little she knew about the royals? Media exposure requires consent, but your kids are in a documentary? Harry doesn’t seem to realize that these things make no sense.
I feel the way they structured these confessionals with an invisible interviewer was a big mistake. Oprah’s presence during that interview served to validate their shady claims. She has a lot of credibility so when she nodded and smiled people trusted that. It made their statements credible. Here they don’t have that and all the contradictions are apparent.
They’re in the yard. Meghan is trying to channel Martha Stewart and failing. Martha wouldn’t have cyclone fencing, Megs.
Meghan in sweats in the Restoration Hardware showroom. BIG expensive drug rehab vibes. I bet this is what all the rich women wear at the Betty Ford Clinic. She complains that other people write books about them and “wouldn’t it make sense to hear our story from us?” Actually, Megs it’s becoming painfully clear that the tabloids and royal biographers have made you two look a lot more interesting, glamorous and stylish than you really are. Left to your own devices you two are boring as dry toast.
Really cool shots of London. Whoa, the city looks great! They spent money on these. They probably should have spent that cash making California look good. London is their past and California is their future and so far their past looks a lot cooler and more glamorous than their future.
Tig Instagram pic montage. I wonder who was taking these? She should have rehired the photographer because the family pics she has now are terrible. These were much better. Her Tig life feels a lot more upscale and aspirational than her current Montecito existence which goes to show what good photography can do. LOL, she used the airport with the Ghurka suitcase. Yes, she didn’t know she was going to meet a prince and that’s why she traded in her Rowena for the luggage brand the princes are known to use.
Pics from what appears to be Harry’s private Instagram. Interesting—wait, the Insta rumor was real? What the? Good lord why would you admit that in a documentary???!! This is freaking surreal. Whyyyyy?”
[To those who don’t know. There was a rumor back in 2016 that Meghan was a designated Soho House “companion” and the girls were “advertised” through a private Insta account run by Marcus. If you liked a girl you could DM Marcus and get an introduction…which seems to be exactly what Harry did. I don’t understand why they would mention this in a a documentary. Everyone bought the Violet von Westerwhatever blind date story. They should have stuck to that.]
I wonder how the mainstream audience is reacting to the new instagram story. The original story got a lot of coverage and a critical mass of people may start to wonder what the heck is going on. Even my husband is skeptical and I don’t think he knew the blind date story. 
BTW, the fact that she was following his account was known in Toronto as soon as the relationship story broke. Interesting.
“Friend” talking about Wimbledon. She’s actually Serena Williams agent so I’m not sure why she’s labeled as a friend. Wimbledon, blah, blah, blah. Lol, Again, Meghan’s old life appears a heck of a lot more glamorous than her current one. OMG, she told Serena’s agent she was going on a date with Harry??!! She was telling everyone wasn’t she?
Texting. She was posting all of this to Insta as it was happening which is absolutely hilarious. Actually, this whole documentary reminds of the early days of the relationship when she was posting everything on Insta and leaking stories to US Weekly constantly. They really wanted all of this material out there and waiting until they got paid for it probably took probably took enormous self discipline. Guess they took Doria's "don't give the milk away for free" advice to heart.
I just realized she’s wearing Trevor’s Cartier bracelet during her monologues and that cracks me up. 
More cheap stock footage. Seriously, how much did Netflix pay for this? Endless chat about their first date, which is nowhere near as interesting as they seem to think it is. They should have stuck to the blind date story. It was slightly more interesting. Bad Soho House selfie. 
Nacho shows up as a “friend” and he’s really Harry’s promo buddy. The Silver Tree person was also a Suits director. Everyone is a business contact in this documentary. All these white people in California resort wear are giving me White Lotus Season 3 vibes. 
Baseball hat pics in a messy kitchen…these two are hellbent on shedding whatever royal glamour they had left. Wait, isn’t this an old picture from Toronto? Like real old, first year in Toronto kind of old. What a weird choice.
“Marry someone who fits the mould instead of someone you are destined to be with” followed by a pic of Megs trying to look sexy in a wifebeater shirt. Does the director secretly hate them? He was born in a palace but he had a trailer park heart…she was a tacky actress from the wrong side of the tracks…they were destined to be together selling family pics to the tabloids just like dad…it’s a family traditioooooooon….
Old royal footage…Diana…Charles…childhood photocalls, which Harry seems to resent, but he’s doing the same to his kids in this documentary, so I really don’t understand what he’s thinking. The Diana footage is a big misstep because wow Di was charismatic and these two losers can’t hold a candle to her. 
Thirteen whole minutes of archival footage, most of it stuff his parents “consented” to, and lots of whining about press intrusion. Dude, you’re in a reality show. You’re putting your kids on television. Know where you stand.
Then a slew of private couple pics that they really should have kept private. Love the wallpaper. Bet that was Frogmore. The documentary is rather disorienting. I can’t tell what house they are in or when the pictures were taken.  
Boom. “So much of what Meghan is and how she is is so similar to my mom.” My husband actually rewinds this part to make sure he heard right. Pic of Diana with her kids in the garden and then another pic of Meghan with her kids in the garden. Very similar gardens. Not so similar women.
“He wanted to marry his mom?” my husband asks. 
Cringe video of Archie with a Diana photo. “I didn’t want history to repeat itself,” Harry says.
“He did want to marry his mom,” my husband says, amazed. “So he can save her this time.” Shaking his head. “This is nuts but it’s television gold. Did the brother marry his mummy too?”
“No,” I said. 
“And the brother is the one who gets to be king, right?”
“Yes.”
“That’s good.”
More monologue about their courtship. Lol, they really did leak the handholding painting to the press. Footage comparing Megs to Di and it’s painfully obvious she’s nowhere near as charismatic. 
Diana’s death and more archival footage. This documentary is a humongous downer, isn’t it? Childhood friend of Harry’s I’d never heard about. Was he invited to the wedding? I don't think so. Strong White Lotus vibes coming from this guy.
Diana’s funeral. Harry’s drug scandal. Hellraiser Harry. Bitching about paparazzi. No mention of Vegas, which is weird. You’d think that would be the big traumatic story about media intrusion. I guess he only wants to blame the UK media and Vegas was a TMZ story in the states and the UK media wasn’t allowed to print the pictures so it doesn't fit his narrative.
More whining about royal photocalls…except for the Lesotho photo ops which Harry didn’t seem to mind. Bit of a disconnect there because those were royal pr as well. In fact, it was the way the royals rehabilitated his image after the drug scandal. Seems like Harry only hates the royal pr he can’t personally monetize. Why isn’t Sentenbale getting a shout out? You’d think he would plug the charity here (Audi, Soho House, and JP Morgan got very obvious brand placements) but if he did I missed it. [Edited: Should have added the house to the list of product placements]
LOL, Prince Seesio straight out says that the Lesotho vacation was a response to the bad press in the UK. They should have briefed him better. I don’t think he was supposed to say that.
Botswana vacay with Meghan. Wow, the Daily Mail made this look a lot more glamorous than it actually was. This wasn’t exactly glamping, was it? Were there showers? No, best to not go there. No charities are mentioned. No mention of the “love” bracelets, just a Daily Mail article shot.
More whining about press intrusion then private Halloween pics that really should have stayed private. Lol, they went to a party with Eugenie after the relationship was leaked. Tell me you leaked the relationship without telling me you leaked the relationship. I bet Meghan wanted to post this on her Insta and Jason didn’t let her. I wish they’d let her. The press reaction to the Call of Duty costume would have been epic.
Harry doesn’t seem to be catching on. If you were in disguise and no one knew you went to this party except Meghan, Jack and Eugenie, then who exactly leaked it, Harry? Because we knew about it a day later.
That’s a Toronto newspaper, the same one that had the leak about Meghan following Harry’s private account. At the time the evil British tabloids were actually under the impression Harry was still in England and had cancelled a trip to visit Toronto.
The other outlet who got the scoop early was our old friend US Weekly, and the byline was by a then-unknown gossip hack called Omid Scobie. Given what we know now about their relationship with Scobie. Yep, I think these two just confessed to leaking stories about their own relationship.
The DM had to quote the Toronto paper and US Weekly when they finally broke the story on the other side of the pond.
Interesting that Meghan and Harry’s “new and improved super real love story” is the one that was being leaked in Toronto and not the one that the evil UK tabloids had supposedly uncovered through nefarious means. I don’t understand why they are changing the story, though. The blind date wasn’t a tabloid rumor. It’s what they themselves said during a BBC interview. 
End of episode. Overall, I feel this was a huge missed opportunity. Not much about his work in Africa or her UN/One Young World work. We hear about Harry’s photography but barely see it. It’s their chance to tell their story and their story is “we’re boring and tacky people who sell pics of their kids.” I feel they really wanted to put the “real” story of how they met out there—the IG dog pic, the Call of Duty costume, the crappy Soho House selfie. It reminds me of her old Working Actress blog where she was constantly stressing how unglamorous acting life really was. 
I’m not blown away by the quality either. Their home movies feel cheap and curiously inauthentic. They should have run everything through a filter to make it feel coherent and cohesive. The stock/archival footage is sometimes great (London and the royal family), sometimes cheap (Soho House), sometimes missing (California), and sometimes misleading (pap shots of Chelsy, Cressida and Kate that are narrated as though Meghan was the victim). 
The documentary lacks the authoritative tone most documentaries have. You really feel it’s “their” side of the story and not the “real” story. I think the problem is how they switch from the couples’ personal narrative, confessionals, and personal pics into historical pictures and public royal narratives. The institutional credibility of the royal shots makes the personal material feel biased and unreliable. The videos of Charles and the kids interacting with photographers, in particular are massive own goals because they remind the viewers that everything, including Meghan and Harry’s pictures and videos, includes invisible photographers. It’s just that the Harkles are hiding that from us, whereas the royals are upfront about it. The confessionals in the rehab setting, in particular, were huge mistakes, imo. They feel like reality show confessionals (like the ones the Housewives franchise uses) and viewers are trained to see those as unreliable narrations. Using someone else's house was also a bad idea. It feels fake.
The whole thing feels very chaotic and unconvincing. My husband thinks they are both addicts and I remember thinking that when they first started doing their beanie hat appearances. I ask him why and he cites the dilated pupils, contradictory narratives, family resentments and couch-surfing at other people’s housing. He says it’s standard junkie drama.
Other family members are watching and most of the group chat (lawyers and social workers) reaches the same conclusion: even the royals have junkie kid drama. The social worker says she has tons of clients like Meghan and the all sound the same. “They’re trying to destroy us.” “It’s a great love story.” “I don’t know how we ended up here.” “What happened.” They are all more interested in having their side of the story validated than in actually fixing the problem and they just repeat the same family dynamics over and over again. That’s why Harry is showing us pics of his kids in the house/garden/vacation right after complaining that his parents showed the world pictures of him, his bother, and his cousins in the house/garden/vacation.  She noticed that he posted a pic of himself in military gear (the Halloween pic) as an adult and a similar one of himself a kid. He also posted skiing pics with the royals and then similar pics in the sand in California. She’s says he’s basically re-living his childhood and trying to get it right this time. 
I didn’t expect many people in my family would be interested in this, but they are all having fun psychoanalyzing these two. Everyone thinks this is Harry rewriting his past so he gets to save his mum this time. Meghan’s motivations are less clear. No one believes she didn’t know who he was. The psychologist says it’s weird that Meghan’s side of the love story was just “it was exciting…we just got to know each other….” Her motivation is not that clear, although there was that one story about wanting to be protected from the elephants in the tent. Opinion is split with half the chat thinking she wanted to be rescued by Prince Charming and the other half (the psychologists and social workers) thinking that as an actress her fantasy would be A Star is Born. The psychologist says those two are not that different. In the Prince Charming fantasy you get rescued by an individual and in the Star is Born fantasy you are rescued by an institution, i.e., the studio or Hollywood. She thinks her fantasy was A Star is Born and that’s why she’s so resentful now. I think we’d discussed that in the blog before. Interesting to hear someone else saying it. Meghan didn’t want a love story where she was rescued by Harry, she wanted a Hollywood success story where she was acclaimed as a star by the palace. She didn’t get that and that’s why she’s still upset even though she got the Prince Charming love story. That’s not what she wanted. Harry got the fantasy he wanted, so he’s not as upset. 
Not much support for the theory (mine) that she was manipulating him consciously. Everyone seems to think it’s a case of two mental illnesses falling in love, along with junkie drama. That’s why Harry is so amazed at their “fantastic love story.” He wanted to marry his mum and she wanted to be his mum. That’s a pretty unlikely combination. 
I’m very curious about the “friends” featured in this episode. No Jess, no Markus, no Misha Nonoo, no one from the Suits cast except Abigail Spencer, and no Janina. Everyone seems to be a business partner of some sort. Cory was missing also, but it makes sense that she wouldn’t mention him. Reitman’s wasn’t mentioned either but I guess she doesn’t want to give them press.
I don’t understand why they didn’t lean into the charity work angle. She was doing One Young World and he was working Africa. Her "You can be Both" essay wasn't mentioned either and I feel they should have led with that instead of going with her “single girl trip” and the not-so-glam Botswana vacation. I also don’t understand why we didn’t see more of Harry’s supposedly amazing wildlife photography. After all, they are trying to build a career as documentary producers. You’d think that would be relevant. The big takeaways from this episode are: Meghan is mummy and I saw history repeating itself so I had to save her. “Save Mummy” seems like a weird narrative to craft a brand around, but my husband is right. It’s television gold.
On to the next episode.
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fiveisnumber1 · 2 years
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Timeless - Five Hargreeves X Reader
Main story parts:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33
E3 - I Think We’re Together Now
A/N: Hi everyone, this is the final part of the season 2 alternate ending I created. Please stay tuned for when season 3 comes out tomorrow as I will be going back for the alternate timeline in which everyone jumps to 2019 and will follow the season 3 storyline! Thank you all for reading so far and I can’t wait to continue with season 3!
The morning light filtered through the curtains as the sound of birds chirped outside. It was truly the dawn of a new day. As you began to wake, everything started coming into focus. The trees swaying in the breeze outside, the silence of the house you were staying in, and as you blinked the sleep out of your eyes you saw the sweetest boy you had ever seen finally resting the way he should. Five's arms were wrapped around your waist as he held you close to him. Even in his sleep, he refused to let you go. Smiling at him, you snuggled into him more, hoping that you could fall back asleep again. This was exactly the life you were supposed to live. One with no worries like an apocalypse, assassins, or time travel. Just you and him getting to have your happily ever after one day at a time. As you started to doze back off you thought about all the things you two would get to do now. You could dance more, you could go on dates, and you could even introduce him to your friends properly.
Oh no. Your friends.
Your eyes shot open wide and worried energy started coursing through your system as you looked around for the nearest clock. Seeing the digital clock across the room you saw the time listed on it. 10:26 AM.
"Shit." You said under your breath
You had almost forgotten in the peace of being with Five but you had promised your friends that you would show up to school the next day if the apocalypse was stopped. If it was 10:26 that meant your friends had already been in school for almost 3 hours probably wondering where you were or worrying that an apocalypse was still upon the world. This wasn't good. You needed to get to them NOW. Carefully, you tried to slide out of Five's grasp but he held you tighter pulling you in closer to him. And unfortunately, what you thought was cute only moments ago was now a barrier to your plan because even in his sleep he refused to let you go. You knew there was only one way you were getting out of this, you needed to phase through his arms. You didn't know how much your powers had been restored by sleeping but you still needed to try. Taking a deep breath you rolled yourself out of bed and through his arms but your reaction time was not great and instead of gracefully getting up you rolled onto the floor.
"ow..." You groaned quietly
Sitting up you held your breath as you saw Five move a bit. The last thing you wanted was for him to wake up after all of his sleepless nights trying to stop the apocalypse. He shifted around a bit more but then you saw as he settled, his arms wrapping around the pillow you were laying on before. Letting go of your breath you quietly got up from the floor and made your way out of the room. Rushing into the bathroom, you brushed your teeth and hair before noticing you were still wearing a majority of the clothes from last night's events. They were covered in ash and blood and there was no way you could walk into school with them on and not get some type of social service called on you. You had clean clothes but they were back in your bedroom. And heading back in there would run the risk of waking up Five, or anyone else for that matter. You did have one option though. Quietly, heading downstairs you saw Luther and Diego sleeping on couches while Klaus was sprawled out on the air mattress. Carefully, you made your way past them and towards the duffle bag that Charlie had provided you with. Looking in the bag you pulled out some of your clothes from the 60s. It wasn't a perfect solution but at least they weren't dirty. Heading into the downstairs bathroom you quickly changed before sneaking towards the back door.
"Where are you going?" You heard a voice call
You jumped a little bit at hearing someone's voice. Turning on your heel you saw Ben standing there with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Jeez Ben, give me a heart attack why don't you? It's not like I didn't already die once yesterday." You whisper yell at him
"That's is exactly why you shouldn't be leaving. You are in no condition to go anywhere." Ben points out
"Listen, I'm just heading out to school. It's no big deal." You argue
"Why do you need to head there anyway?" Ben questions firmly
You paused for a moment. Arguing was going to do no good and if you got too worked up it might honestly cause someone to wake up. Instead of being defensive about it, you calmed down and decided to be honest. Taking a deep breath you quietly answered,
"This family is not the only group of people that cares about me. They need to know I'm okay too."
It didn't take Ben long to realize you were talking about your friends, the ones he had seen at the bowling alley. They obviously cared for you too and they were the only other people to know that the apocalypse was going to happen. He still didn't think it was okay for you to leave especially since you weren't in the greatest condition, but he knew nothing he said was going to stop you from going to them because you had always put your friends first. Reluctantly, Ben began to nod his head in agreement.
"Fine," He replied, "But I'm waking everyone up in 30 minutes."
"Fifty." You shot back
"Forty." Ben countered
"Deal." You said as you started to head out the door
"And (Y/N)?" Ben called
You paused as you turned to look back at him, wondering what else the ghost boy needed to say.
"At least leave a note," Ben added
That was probably a good idea. Grabbing a stack of post-its you wrote "Going to school. Be back later." a few times over and placed them on spots you would expect people to see them. One on the table, one on the fridge, one on the door, and for good measure one on Luther's forehead since he was so tall. You gave Ben one last look before rushing out of the house, the door shutting behind you.
Looking out the kitchen window, Ben watched as you grabbed your bike from the side of the house and rode off towards wherever your school was. The time on the kitchen clock was 10:48 and in 40 minutes he would wake his siblings to tell them what had happened. He only hoped they could understand why you did it the way he did.
And as you rode down the sidewalks, you peddled as if your life depended on it, trying to get to your friends as quickly as you could.
While you peddled onward though, your friends sat in their classes anxious and unfocused. At a certain point the night before they had all passed out from exhaustion waiting for something to occur. But nothing did. They woke up the next morning and everything was just as it was. No cataclysmic apocalypse, no end of the world, nothing. The group had managed to pull themselves together and go to school just like you requested but when they arrived you weren't anywhere to be found. You all didn't share the same class schedule but you were always in a class with at least one of your friends and yet with each passing period, there was still no sign of you. Your friends would congregate by your locker during the time when students were switching classes hoping that out of nowhere you'd just appear. But still nothing. And so they'd all have to leave and move on to the next lesson of the day that they wouldn't pay attention to.
Currently, Lucas was in civics, Addison in advanced placement psychology, Viktoria in band, and Kenny and Bren in English. And then there was Dean, who sat in his world history class staring at the empty desk before him. The one that you were supposed to be sitting in. Anxiously, he bounced his leg up and down hoping for you to come in. He needed you to.
Ever since he had gotten to school that day, only to find you weren't there, he started regretting letting you go off to try and stop the apocalypse. He did what he promised he'd do and kept all of the group together but it all seemed like bullshit now since the group wasn't a group without you. Addison had even protested leaving you behind last night and seeing the way things were now, Dean knew she was right for doing so. You guys were a team, a family, and there was no reason that you should've split up no matter the danger. You had all been in dangerous situations together before, so why did you convince him that last night was different?
As he sat wondering about what he could've done differently though, you had finally pulled up to the school. Getting off your bike you almost fell over as you struggled to lock it up on the bike rack. Your head felt light and your legs wobbled underneath you as you walked away from your bike and into the halls of the school. Stumbling around, you used the walls on either side to hold you up, but as you banged into lockers trying to get to your own you realized Ben was right. You were in no condition to leave the house, but it was too late now and your physical health seemingly always came second to the well-being of your friends. While difficult, you had finally made it to your locker. As you leaned against the cool metal of the lockers for support, trying to take a moment to yourself, your legs gave out below you and you quickly slid down to the floor. You needed to take a moment to yourself but hopefully, you could find your friends soon.
But at that moment when you had collapsed to the floor by your locker, Dean felt his twin brother-sense go off. You were close. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. His head whipped back and forth as he quickly looked out the window of the classroom and then out of the window on the classroom door. He didn't see you there, but he needed to go and find you. Trying to think of a way to get out of class he did the only plan that came to his mind. Jumping up from his seat and slamming his hands on the desk Dean loudly exclaimed,
"I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
The rest of the students in the class quietly turned to look at Dean but he did not notice as he instead stared down at his teacher waiting for a response. Stopping his lesson, the teacher Mr. McNally turned from the whiteboard towards Dean only to see him staring back, his gaze unwavering. Trying to get back to his lesson, Mr. McNally stated,
"Mr. Hernandez, while I appreciate your openness with the class you should've gone during lunch. Please sit back down."
That was not a sufficient response though. Dean needed to leave and he needed to leave now. Stepping out from behind his desk he stood firm as he continued to look his teacher in the eye and demanded,
"If you do not let me go to the bathroom right now, I will stand in front of the class and piss my pants on purpose."
"What?" Mr. McNally asked shocked
"Not only that I'll piss YOUR PANTS!" Dean emphasized
"I-what does that-"
Mr. McNally looked at Dean utterly confused. What the hell did that even mean? Piss his pants? It did not make any sense and honestly, he did not get paid enough for this type of stuff to happen. Not wanting to deal with this any further nor risk Dean keeping his word he relented,
"Just leave."
Dean froze for a second as he processed the response of his teacher. Once he had acknowledged what he said though, a wave of energy burst through him. Quickly, he picked his backpack up off the ground, throwing it over his shoulder before rushing out of the classroom without another word. Racing down the hallways he frantically looked around for you, zooming past classrooms and calling out your name hoping for some type of response.
Your name rang through the classrooms he passed by. Most of the students treated it like a minor distraction, but for the rest of your friends, hearing him yell your name snapped them back to reality. All of them had wandered off in their minds, their thoughts wracked with the worry and guilt that Dean had felt only a few minutes ago. But hearing your name forced them into action with all of them, in one way or another, running out of their classrooms and following the sound of Dean's voice.
Hearing the sound of footsteps echoing down the hall you forced yourself from the ground. You had to look normal, at least as best as you could so you wouldn't get in trouble. The hall monitors in this school were ruthless after all. Standing up once more you felt your legs shaking below you as you pressed against the lockers for some type of support again. It wasn't much but as you stood, you listened to the sounds of the footsteps as they got closer and closer and closer until they came to a complete stop. You could hear the sound of someone panting as if they were out of breath. Slowly, you turned your head to look at the person, preparing to explain yourself, but when you finally saw who they were, a bittersweet smile started to form on your face.
Dean. Your brother. Standing there alive.
The last you had heard, he and the rest of your friends had died in the wake of the apocalypse, but that was over now. Immediately, you pushed yourself off the lockers you were using for support and used the momentum to stumble over to him. Wrapping your arms around him, you used him for support as you hugged him for the first time in years.
Tears started to form in Dean's eyes as he held you in his arms. It had been less than 24 hours since he had last seen you but not knowing where you were or if you were okay made it feel like an eternity. It was difficult to find the words to express how happy he was to see you again but he managed to choke out,
"You're alive..."
"Yeah. I am." You replied quietly before joking "You wouldn't believe what it took to get here though."
Before you could start to explain more to him through you heard the pounding of footsteps heading your way. You and Dean looked at each other confused as you waited in silence for whatever was coming down the hall. Dean attempted to move the two of you off to the side of the hall but just as he was about to do so, one by one, the rest of your friends rounded the corner of the hall. Freezing in place for a moment, smiles came to their faces, and for some tears pricked their eyes as they saw you there leaning against Dean. Your presence was like a weight off their chests and it was hard to contain as they ran over to you excitedly shouting,
"(Y/N)!"
One by one they threw their arms around you and Dean, piling on into a group hug. Kenny wrapped his arms around you and Dean first, with Bren quickly following suit, followed by Viktoria and then Addison not far behind. And then lastly Lucas, who wrapped his arms excitedly around the group and hugged as tight as he could. But for a normal boy, he was still abnormally strong and with you being in the direct center of the group hug, you were being crushed by the love of your friends. As your body was being squished by the power of friendship you managed to choke out,
"Don't. crush. me. please." 
Realizing what they were doing the group quickly pulled away giving you your space to breathe again. They thought they had lost you once so they were going to make sure that they weren't the reason it actually happened. Finally taking a good look at you, Kenny commented,
"You're severely injured. How are you even alive?"
"That's a great question and a very funny story because last night I uh...died." You explain nervously
"You what?!" Dean exclaimed
"Died." You reply once more
Your friends looked at you in shock. What did you mean you died? What happened at that theatre that caused your death? And how did you get back to life? There were a lot of unanswered questions that needed an explanation as soon as possible if this group was going to be able to move forward with their day. Being the first to speak up after your admission Bren states flatly,
"We're gonna need more context than that."
You looked at them all with an awkward expression on your face. You had no clue where to start. Hoping that if you started talking the words would just find themselves you began,
"Well-"
Before you could even get another word out though a voice yelled from behind you,
"Hey what are you kids doing out of class!"
Down the hall was one of the school security monitors. They were ruthless and took no excuses for people being out of class. You all watched as they started walking their way down the hall towards the seven of you.
"Oh shit! Security!" Kenny exclaimed
"What do we do?" Viktoria asks panicked
"Run!" Dean yelled
Grabbing your hand, Dean started to run down the hallway pulling you behind him with what he assumed to be all your friends in tow, but as he looked back he saw Lucas still standing by your locker frozen.
"Lucas c'mon!" Dean called out
"But I'm the student body president! I can't break the rules!" Lucas shouted back as the security guard got closer
"LUCAS ANDREW KLEIN. RUN." Addison commanded firmly
Lucas looked between the security guard and his friends and although he didn't want to break the school rules, his girlfriend yelling at him licked him into action and he took off sprinting down the hall to catch up with the rest of his friends. Together you weaved through the halls trying to make it to the front door that would lead to the parking lot of cars the security guard running behind you all trying to catch someone. As you ran down one hall you could see Kenny stop for a moment.
"Kenny, what are you doing?" You questioned
Instead of responding to the question, you watched as he opened the janitor's closet, grabbed a bottle of floor cleaner, and poured it all over the ground before throwing the empty container at the security guard causing him to slip and fall.
"Get fucked!" Kenny shouted
As he turned around and kept running with the rest of you all, you saw from behind as the security guard struggled to get off the ground and kept slipping on the floor cleaner. There was no time to focus on that though and you rounded a corner and made it to the front door. Lucas opened it up allowing everyone to run out of the building and into the parking lot towards Dean's car. Making it to the car, Dean slid across the front hood to the driver's side before putting the key in the door and unlocking the car for everyone to get in. From behind you could hear the familiar sound of the security guard shouting,
"Hey! Stop!"
Piling into the car, Dean revved the engine before whipping out of his parking spot and racing out of the parking lot. For a moment the security guard tried to run behind the car, only to be flipped off by Kenny leaning out the back window as Dean sped you all away from the school and off somewhere else.
As you and your friends went off on your journey of ditching school, however, the forty minutes Ben had allotted you to do what you did had finally run out. Approaching Klaus who lay asleep on one of the living room couches, he shook his shoulder and called,
"Klaus wake up,"
"Go away," Klaus mumbled sleepily
"Klaus wake up!" Ben calls louder
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Klaus shot up from his seat
"You know you would think that after saving the world TWICE apparently you would give me a day off!" Klaus shouted annoyed "What do you want!"
"(Y/N) left." Ben states flatly
"What!?" Klaus yelled
Through all his yelling, the rest of the house was abruptly woken up from their slumbers. Making their way into the living room they glared at Klaus through sleep-filled eyes as they waited for some kind of explanation.
"God, what is with all the yelling Klaus?" Five asked annoyed
"(Y/N)'s gone!" Klaus exclaims
Hearing those two words, any feeling of tiredness that Five may have had in his body immediately went away as he shouted,
"WHAT!" 
Five started to pace around anxiously. You were severely injured after the events of yesterday. The fact that you were even able to walk up the stairs to head to bed last night was a miracle but that didn't mean you were in okay shape to leave. 
"Do you know where she went?" Five asked frantically
"Uh, I know where she went." Luther said as he held out a post-it note "I pulled this off my forehead."
Snatching the note from his hands Five looked over the basic message you wrote that read, Going to school. Five let out a disappointed sigh at the fact that there was no more information but this was probably a little bit of payback for the note he left you only saying Going out. Honestly, your note was better than his because at least this had a location. 
"So where is she?" Diego asked in a worried tone
"She went to school..." Five replied
"I appreciate her commitment to her education but why would she leave in the condition she was in?" Diego questioned aloud
"Because she made a promise to her friends that she would meet up with them there if the world was saved." Ben explained
Minus Klaus, the rest of the group turned and looked at Ben in shock. They knew he was there but it was the seeing and especially hearing him part that was still something they needed to get used to. 
"I'll have you all know, I tried to stop her, but when she has a plan in mind there's really nothing that can do so." Ben continued "All I could do is make a deal with her that I'd wake all of you up forty minutes after she left. And I did."
"Ugh, why does she have to love her friends so much?" Klaus complained
"Because that's who she is." Luther responds
"We've gotta go find her." Five interjected "We don't even know if she even made it to the school. She might just be lying on the side of the road." 
"Five's right, we at least need to know she made it to the school and not passed out on some street." Diego added
The group of siblings looked around at each other for any other comments but all that was presented were nods in agreement at the idea. Given the fact that everyone pretty much slept in their clothes from the night before the group rushed to put their shoes on before making their way towards the van they stole and heading off to make sure you were fine.
As the Umbrellas were driving towards your school though, you and your friends had already driven away. Taking back roads to pass the time and make sure that you didn't get caught by anyone you relayed the story of all that had happened after you left them at the bowling alley. The 2019 apocalypse, the time travel to the 60s and your time there, the people you met, the things you did, apocalypse 2 electric boogaloo, your plan that successfully saved the world and the events that followed said plan. You told them everything from beginning to end as best as you could and they all seemed to understand what happened and why you did what you had done. There was a mix of emotions in the car as the story you had told held many highs and lows but with a little bit of time to process the mood shifted to joy at the fact that everything had worked out in the end, but right as your group of friends started to talk and interact like normal again Dean had pulled back onto city streets and you recognized a sight that for a while was only in your memory.
"Dean stop the car." You stated
"What?" He asked confused
"Stop the car!" You exclaimed this time
Immediately hitting the breaks, the car came to a harsh stop as you got out from the passenger seat and looked at the crumbled remains of the old Umbrella Academy. Walking away from the car, you approached the mess of concrete and ash that used to be your home. The front gate was still there, although one of the doors had fallen off one of its hinges and now hung at an angle. You stood outside the gate looking up at the sky where the academy once loomed over you, like that first day you decided to cross the street to see what was hiding inside. Taking a deep breath you stepped past the gate and into what remained of the old building. Looking around it was as if you saw the present day and glimpses of the past all at once. To your right was the parlor where you would spend your days playing with the Hargreeves or later on reading books and playing the piano. To your left was the dining room in which you had shared a few meals with the Umbrella Academy and many more with Reginald himself. And then up ahead was where many of the rooms were. Up the stairs to the left were the bedrooms of the academy members and your former bedroom. All of which you had spent memorable times in. And upstairs to the right was where Reginald's office was located. Many times were spent going in there to bother him for money, for pure entertainment at his annoyance, or on the rare occasion a genuine inquiry. This was your home and although the dust had settled, your memories of this place still hung around.
From behind you, your friends got out of Dean's car and slowly approached the gates the same way you had done only a few moments ago. Looking at the mess in front of them they stared in disbelief. A place that they had been so intrigued by for practically their entire lives was reduced to nothing.
"Holy shit. It's really gone." Lucas stated quietly
"I can't believe it either." Viktoria adds
Hearing the quiet mumblings of your friends far behind you turn around to look their way. You could see their shock at the once-mighty academy now being nothing but a pile of rocks and broken items and their hesitancy to enter the premises. Wanting to get them to come along you mention,
"You can come in." 
Hearing your reassurance, they slowly all began to cross the threshold of what remained and make their way over to you.
"I always thought one day when I figured out how to explain everything I would show you guys around and give you the academy grand tour but unfortunately this is all that's left." You explain to them 
"It's alright. A little shocking that it's actually gone but it's not something to worry over." Dean replies "I'd rather have you still standing over this old building."
You saw as the rest of your friends nodded in agreement with Dean's statement before looking around the place once more.
"You guys can look around the place if you want, I'm going to find somewhere to just sit for a bit though." You state
Nodding their heads everyone starts to walk off in their own directions just looking at the crumbled walls and destroyed items of what once used to be. It was quiet, almost as if in reverence of the history and memories this place held for you. As you wandered around looking for a place to sit you saw something that caught your eye. Your head tilted to the side in disbelief as you wondered if you were hallucinating or not. Carefully, you made your way through the pieces of the house towards what you saw and were pleasantly surprised to see that you weren't seeing things. Almost as if the house decided to avoid it, the bench from the courtyard that Five had first pushed you over all those years ago still stood in one piece, completely untouched by the mess surrounding it. A small smile came to your face as you went over to it, brushing off some of the dust and taking a seat on the side you always sat on. To others it might've just looked like some bench, but to you, this bench was the beginning of a very interesting story, and to still have that piece of the story meant more than words could express. Gently you used your pointer finger to draw a heart in the dust that still littered Five's side of the bench. He wasn't there with you now but having that little heart was close enough for the time being. As you stared at the drawing you just made you could hear the sounds of footsteps running your way and Bren's voice calling out,
"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)!"
Looking up towards where his voice came from you saw Bren run and stop in front of you with something in his hands. Holding it out he enthusiastically asked,
"CAN I KEEP HIM?"
It took you a moment to realize what he was holding but when you did, You asked disappointed,
"Why do you have Ben's statue head?" 
"Can I keep him? Please." Bren begged
"What? No." You responded baffled
"(Y/N), I'll take care of him I swear." Bren pleaded
"No. This is still my house. You can't just loot my house, Brendon." You explained before commanding "Put him back"
"But-" Bren tried to reply
"Put. Ben. Back." You reemphasized
Letting out a long sigh, Bren gave Statue Ben's head a longing look before reluctantly turning around to head back to where he was found. As you watched him go you gave a small shake of your head unsurprised at the situation that had just played out. Taking a deep breath you tried to sit back and relax on your bench but only a few moments later you could hear Dean scream from across the house.
"What is it?" Addison asked loudly
"Dead person. Dead person. Dead person." Dean repeated over and over again
Quickly, you and the rest of your friends ran over to where Dean was, and as you looked down into the rubble that Dean had just moved you saw a familiar face lying there.
"Mom!" You yelled as you dropped to your knees and started moving rubble out of the way
Seeing your urgency your friends joined in as you all worked together to uncover your mom from the debris she was under. Getting most of it away you all looked over Grace and the state she was in. Given the severity of the collapse, you thought she would be worse for wear but surprisingly she wasn't completely destroyed. For the most part, her form was still intact. Some joints were twisted or out of place, and her synthetic skin was torn in a few areas exposing ripped wires but overall she still looked like her. She wasn't a pile of scraps and metal, she was still your mom.
"I hate to be that person but why are there wires coming out of her?" Viktoria questioned
"She was a robot. That's why there's wires." You answer "But I never saw her as a robot. She was my mom but now she's well...gone."
"She doesn't have to be gone," Bren stated
"What do you mean?" You questioned looking toward him
"Well, why don't we just fix her? Then she won't be gone." Bren explains "Lucas is good at reading schematics, Dean has hands-on mechanical experience, I'm pretty good at programming and Kenny can stitch up people like it's no one's business. If we can find the plans on how she was built we might just be able to put her back together for you."
Your eyes lit up brightly and a smile came to your face at the prospect of getting your mom back. Bren was right about all of your friends' abilities and there was a very real possibility that with their combined efforts you could manage to put her back together. You nodded your head vigorously before looking around the ruins of the house trying to place where things most likely would've been. If Grace's schematics were going to be anywhere it would've been somewhere in Reginald's office. Getting up from where you were kneeling you carefully walked around the rubble towards the general area in which his office was. 
"Let's try looking over here!" You called out to your friends
The six of them made their way over to the area in which you stood and carefully you all began to try and look through the wreckage in the hope that you could find her schematics. You all moved about the area looking through papers upon papers that you could pull out from the debris but finding nothing of significant importance. But then as hope started to seem lost Viktoria called out,
"Hey! I found a safe!"
Rushing over you saw that he indeed had found a safe. Although there were a few dents it was relatively untouched and in a decent enough condition that whatever was inside was most likely intact as well. There was a chance that this was a dead-end but it was still worth a shot. Using your powers you phased your hand through the safe grabbing at the papers inside and pulling them out. Carefully you flipped through them. There were plans for something called the Televator, another plan for something called the Levitator, and then at the bottom of the pile, just as you had hoped there were the schematics for how Grace was built. Turning around to your friends, a smile so wide that it hurt on your face, you exclaimed,
"This is it! These are her plans!"
"That's great! Let's go fix your mom!" Lucas shouts excitedly
With the schematics in hand, you and your friends head back over to where your Mom was. Standing around her you take a moment to try and figure out how to go about the next steps of this plan.
"Hey real quick. Where are we gonna put her in my car?" Dean asks
"We can put her in the trunk," Kenny suggests
"Has anyone considered the fact that it will look weird to have seven kids carrying what looks to be a body across the street and shoving it in a trunk?" Bren comments
"That's a very good point." Addison adds
"Guys, guys, don't worry." You explain "I can make her invisible, but we'll still have to carry her." 
"Carry her? That's easy, I got this." Lucas states before lifting her up from the ground and into his arms
Taking one last look around the ruined academy you knew that it was time to leave and move on. Stepping next to Lucas you took your mother's hand in your own, turning her invisible as you all crossed the street back to the car. Opening the trunk, Lucas gently placed Grace down and with your friends creating a wall so that the trunk could not be seen by people passing by, you let go of her hand. Slowly, you start to close the trunk to get ready to leave but before you could do so Bren stated,
"Wait! I gotta put something in there."
With a confused look on your face, you saw as Bren placed the head that had broken off from Ben's statue in the trunk next to Grace. Turning to look at him in disbelief you questioned critically,
"Dude, what the fuck. Where did that come from? What did I say about looting my house?" 
Staring you down, in a steady, monotone voice, Bren replies curtly,
"I'm not leaving without him." 
You stare him back down for a moment but knowing that there was no way he would back down you reluctantly let it go.
"Ugh, fine." You relented before adding "Let's go."
Closing the trunk, you and your friends got back in Dean's car before heading off to the store to get the supplies you would need to help put your mom back together. 
As you and your friends headed off once again though, the Umbrellas has just arrived at your school. Along their drive, they took survey of the sidewalks and areas around them trying to make sure that you weren't laying somewhere passed out. Luckily enough they didn't see you anywhere on the way which gave them hope that you had made it to the school alright. As they entered the school parking lot they quickly found a spot before the seven of them all piled out of the van. Approaching the school hastily, they made their way to the front doors passing a rack of bikes.
"Hey hey look." Diego said pointing at the rack "That's (Y/N)'s bike. She must be here."
"Good. Let's just check on her and then we can go home." Five replies
 Finally making it to the front door Diego rings the intercom button calling a worker from the front office to come to the front door. Opening the door the worker looks on confused but still continues to greet,
"Welcome to Argyle Public High School. Before I let you in I need to know why you're here. Y'know for safety reasons and all so please state your business."
"I'm here to check that my kid made it to school okay. I haven't heard from them this morning." Diego quickly responded
"Okay," the worker acknowledges before turning their attention to the other 5 visible people "And the rest of you?"
The rest of the group all look around at each other confused waiting for someone to speak up. Taking  the initiative Luther steps forward and politely starts to speak,
"Hi." We are uh family-" 
Before he could even continue his thought though Klaus quickly interjects,
"Polyamorous family! We all...love each other...a lot."
Luther, Allison, Vanya, and Five all give Klaus looks that range from confusion to utter disbelief at the word vomit that came from his mouth. Looking back at the worker, Luther hesitantly continued,
"Uh yes...a polyamorous family who um"
"Just moved to the area," Vanya adds unsure
"Right. We just moved to the area and we would like to register our son so he can complete his schooling." Luther finally finishes
"What? What are you talking about? We're here to-" Five begins but is cut off
"Now listen son, I know you've been homeschooled most of your life but this will help you finally learn some social skills." Klaus says placing a hand on Five's shoulder "Maybe you can even learn to be nice here."
"Are you fucking-" Five starts to snap only to be cut off by Diego asking
"Can I see if my kid is here now?"
"Yeah sure..." The worker answers confused before adding hesitantly "...Come along."
"A polyamorous family? Really?" Luther complains in a low tone
"Well, how else were we all going to get inside?" Klaus whispers back
The Hargreeves all follow the worker into the school building and into the main office. The room was exactly what you would expect a school office to look like. It had mailboxes for all the teachers, a front desk that people could check into, a bunch of filing cabinets likely filled with student records, and most other things an office would have. The Hargreeves stood together behind the front desk as they waited for what the office worker would do next. The office worker gave an awkward glance at the "polyamorous family" before walking over to a computer.  As they looked up from the monitor they looked toward Diego and asked,
"Are you a registered contact for your kid?"
"Yes," Diego responded
"Alright, what's your name?" They followed up
"Diego Hargreeves," Diego answered
The worker typed on the keyboard punching in a few things before responding,
"Alright, gotcha. Is Miss (Y/N) your child?"
"That's her. Is she here?" Diego asked concerned
That's all they really needed to know if you were here and if you were okay. Once they had that sorted out they could all go back to Eudora's place and continue to lay low. Looking up from the monitor once more the worker responded,
"Records are showing she hasn't been here for attendance in any of her classes today."
"What?" Diego asked confused
Your bike was outside how could you not be here?
"I'm not seeing her on record today. Is she missing? Would you like me to inform the police?" The worker asked reaching for the phone
Knowing the police were the last people he wanted involved, especially given the circumstances Diego raised his hand as he replied,
"No, no. That won't be necessary. Maybe I just missed her at home. We've had two important deaths in the family in the past week so things have been flipped upside down." 
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that." The worker consoled
"I guess I better go back and check." Diego stated, "Hopefully she's there."
"Before you go, I know this is odd but can you take a look at some security footage. We're trying to identify some students who have skipped school today. Maybe your child knows them?" The worker asks
"Oh uh sure," Diego responds
Turning the computer monitor to face out towards the desk the worker pulls up a video as the Hargreeves start to watch. As the footage plays the Hargreeves see as six familiar faces and one VERY familiar face run down the hallways of the school and out the front doors together. The eyes on all of the Hargreeves go wide as they realize the kids that have skipped school are you and your friends. 
"So do you recognize any of these children?" The worker asks
"Nope." Diego responds quickly before turning to leave "Well I better get going home then."
"Uh well, I hope you find your kid." The worker responds 
As Diego leaves the room, the worker turns towards the rest of the group "Now how can I help you get registered?"
The group looked around confused at each other once more. None of them actually wanted to register Five at the high school, but now that they knew you weren't here they weren't sure what to do.
"Well-" Luther tried to start but was cut off
"Registered? Here? With missing students and children running amuck?" Klaus exclaimed overreacting "This is an inappropriate learning environment for our beloved son. We will NOT be registering him here."
Grabbing Five by the wrist Klaus pulls him towards the door and out of the room as he calls behind,
"C'mon honey one, two, and three. Let's leave."
Allison, Luther, and Vanya all watch as Klaus leaves the room with Five reluctantly in tow. Looking back at the worker who had a baffled look on their face Luther apologized,
"Sorry, he's uh...very particular."
And without another word the three of them walked out of the room and out of the school. As the three of them walked outside they could see Diego from afar loading your bike into the back of the van. As the group walks over to where Diego was, Five turns to Klaus and threatens,
"If you ever drag me by my wrist like that again, you will lose your own." 
"Oh don't be so harsh Five. I just want to give you the best I can." Klaus replies jokingly
As they finally get to the van and approach Diego, Five states,
"Whatever Klaus. If she's with her friends then she should be okay. Best thing we can do is just try to get back to Eudora's and wait for her or all of them to get back."
"I guess we go back to square one then." Diego replied
The rest of the group nodded in agreement before getting back into the van once more. And so as the Hargreeves started to head back to the house after the wild goose chase you unknowingly led them on, you had already made it there after going to the store and purchasing the necessary supplies to attempt to fix your mom. Lucas grabbed your mom from the trunk of Dean's car, carrying her inside and gently putting her down on the couch. Taking out all the materials you had gotten you laid them out before handing Lucas the schematics of how your mom was built.
"Alright. It's time to factory reset your mom." Kenny exclaims
"Dude, what the fuck?" Dean asks "Why would you say it like that?"
"I don't know. The words just leave my mouth." Kenny explains "Whatever you hear is what I hear for the first time too."
"Sometimes I wish you couldn't speak." Bren comments
"Wow, that's not even the worst thing I've ever said." Kenny remarks back "Like I could say how Killer Moth from Teen Titans is kind of a DILF."
"Well yeah that's just the dad version of Mothman and Mothman is fuckable too," Addison adds
"Guys!" You exclaim
Your friends all turn their heads from the discussion of hot mothmen to you. With an exasperated look on your face, you ask,
 "Can we please just fix my mom?" 
Your friends give you apologetic looks before being kicked into gear. With the schematics in hand, Lucas started to read them off in such a way that Dean understood exactly what he is fixing and where. Fusing wires back together, putting Grace's joints back in their proper places, and inserting a new charging port into her, the mechanical aspect of your mom started getting better bit by bit. Once Dean had properly put parts of your mom back together, Bren stepped in to make sure that the programming was intact. It took him a while to figure out exactly how to check it all given that Grace was a more complicated piece of machinery than your average computer, but with some time and effort he managed to crack the code. Going through it all he saw that there were no malfunctions within her programming, meaning that the only issue left to solve was sewing up the open cuts in her synthetic skin and trying to turn her on. As Bren stepped aside, Kenny stepped in, and precisely and carefully, he started to sew up your mom. The stitches he made were practically invisible, just little white lines that signified where the cuts had been. And as Kenny finished his last stitch and stepped away from Grace, you saw her once more completely intact. There was your mom. All that was left was to turn her on. Plugging the charger into your mom you and your friends sat around quietly as you waited, hoping that your work was successful and she would come back to life. It felt like forever but then you saw as a blue light lit up behind her eyes. Her head began to lift up as she sat up straight more. Leaning forward towards her, you called softly,
"Mom?" 
You watched as her head turned towards you, her eyes blinking a couple of times before a smile came to her face.
"(Y/N)?" She quietly asked
Your jaw dropped in shock for a moment as you realized it worked. It really worked! Rushing from where you were seated you went to your mom throwing your arms around her and exclaiming,
"Mom!"
Grace wrapped her arms back around you as she held you close. She didn't know what had occurred between the moment the house collapsed and this moment but if you were here hugging her then it had to be okay. A few tears fell from your eyes as the feeling of joy overwhelmed you. Pulling back from the hug, Grace could see the water running down your face and gently wiped away your tears.
"What's wrong sweetie?" She asked
"I'm just happy." You responded, "The world is safe, I have my friends and family and life back, everything is just good."
"Oh, sweetie all these things are good because you make them good." Grace comforted 
"Oh, these are my friends. The ones I always tell you about." You say before pointing each one out introducing "This is Lucas, Dean, Addison, Kenny, Bren, and Viktoria. They actually helped put you back together."
"Well thank you. It's nice to finally meet you all." Grace greets "You know you kids look just like the academy when they were younger."
You watched as after your mom made that comment your friends' faces all started going through waves of emotion. From shock to excitement they all started to get up, cheering and celebrating the fact that your mom had said that they looked like their heroes, the Umbrella Academy. You wish your mom hadn't made that comment to them, but the more you thought about it the more she was right. Up until that moment, you had never noticed the almost eerie similarity of your friends to their umbrella counterparts but maybe you just had a type in terms of people you liked being around. Standing up from the couch Grace looks around at the group of you and your friends and asks,
"So are you kids hungry? I can make some cupcakes to celebrate how good things are." 
"Cupcakes sound awesome!" Viktoria remarks excitedly
"Well, I'll go get started on some then." Grace replies turning around to find the kitchen
"Oh, Mom!" You called
"Yes, sweetie?" Grace asked turning to look back at you
"Since your dress is all dirty from the house collapse, Addison, Viktoria, and I all went to a vintage store and got you some new clothes." You stated handing a large bag to her "You don't have to put them on now but I just wanted to let you know."
Grace looked down at her attire only to see her dress stained with dirt and concrete dust. This wouldn't do at all. Looking back towards you, she takes the bag from your hand and says,
"Well, I hadn't even noticed my dress was so messy. I'll go put on some of these new clothes and then I'll get right to making those cupcakes. How about you kids go outside in the backyard for now?"
"Okay," Dean replies before tapping Lucas on the shoulder and exclaiming "Tag you're it!"
Dean immediately runs off towards the back of the house and into the backyard with the rest of you and your friends quickly following suit.
"Hey, you can't just play tag without establishing it first!" Lucas yells sprinting to catch up with one of you all
Grace lets out a small laugh as from afar she sees the joy of you and your friends all playing together. For a moment it reminds her of the time when you and the Hargreeves were all young and having fun and she could only hope that with the world saved maybe, just maybe, she'd get to see such a thing again. Heading upstairs Grace went off to change her clothes before making some cupcakes for you and your friends outside. And as you ran around spending time with your friends, the Hargreeves had finally made it back to Eudora's house. After a stop for some fast food since none of them had eaten and an ungodly amount of unexpected traffic they were finally back. As they pulled up on the street near the house, Diego looked out the front window of the van and questioned,
"Why is there a black 67 Impala is parked outside Eudora's house?"
Peering from the back of the van through the front window Five looked at the driveway and saw a car exactly like Diego described. While the sight may have been concerning for the rest of the group Five knew better as he stated,
"That's Veronica."
"I thought her name was Viktoria?" Vanya adds
"The car's name is Veronica. It's what Dean named his car." Five elaborated "And if that's Dean's car, that means (Y/N) and the rest of them are here."
"Why is the car named Veronica though?" Klaus questioned
"Because Addison told him to name the car that." Five answered
"I'm just glad it's a safe car. I was worried it was going to be the feds or something." Luther commented
"We're fine, but we really should get back inside." Five stated, "Things haven't blown over yet."
Five was right. Things were still fresh and it hadn't even been a full day since the events of last night. There was still a lot that could happen and they really needed things to blow over. Exiting the van the group made their way back into the house assuming that you and your friends were already inside, but as they entered there was no one to be seen. From further in the house, Diego could hear the sounds of sing-song humming. Following the sound back towards the kitchen, he entered the room and saw a sight he didn't expect to see. Diego could feel his heart clench as he hesitantly stepped forward, and with a shaky voice asked,
"M-mom?"
Placing down the cupcake she was icing down Grace turned to look at Diego. A smile came to her face as she walked over to him greeting,
"Hi, Diego!"
Diego looked her up and down. He clothes were clean, her hair was perfectly done, and the only thing out of place was little white lines that looked like scars. It was as if the house never came down on her. In disbelief, Diego said quietly,
"You're alive..." 
"Well of course I am silly," Grace commented happily
"How though?" He questioned
"(Y/N)'s friends are quite a clever bunch. They all helped to put me back together." Grace explains
As she explained what had occurred the rest of the Hargreeves appeared in the kitchen. Looks of disbelief similar to Diego's appeared on their faces. Looking over Diego's shoulder, Grace saw the rest of the group enter the room. Luther, Allison, Klaus, Five, Vanya, and...Ben. Shock filled her face as she stared him down.
"Hi, mom." Ben greeted kindly
"Hi" Grace replied softly, emotion evident in her voice as she continued "Oh wow, all of my children in one place. I- I never thought this would happen again."
"Oh mom, it's okay." Diego comforted as he wrapped his arms around her
One by one the rest of the Hargreeves went over to where Grace and Diego stood and wrapped their arms around each other in a group hug. As they stood there they waited for one final person to go over and join them as a family. 
"C'mon Five." Luther encouraged 
Five stared at the group as they all looked at him but before he could even make a decision or say anything Klaus grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the hug. His siblings rearranged themselves so that Five was stuck closer to the center and couldn't leave. Looking toward Klaus, he threatened,
"I'm going to break your wrists."
"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and hug your family old man." Klaus retorted, not caring about what Five had to say
Five shut his mouth as his siblings around him held onto each other, and although he had the ability to jump away something in him didn't really want to. Together the group stood not just as a bunch of different people but as a family. When the hug finally broke, Grace looked around at everyone with immense joy in her eyes as she explained,
"Well, you all came just in time. I was just about to serve the kids some cupcakes."
Heading over towards the cupcake tray, she finished icing the last of the cupcakes before picking the tray up and walking out the back door to the backyard. Following her onto the back porch the Hargreeves watched as you and your friends ran around laughing and screaming. You all seemed so happy and it was in a moment like this that they remembered why the world was worth saving and why they went through all they did. It was for happy moments like these. Stepping down from the back porch, Grace walked towards the picnic table as she called out,
"Cupcake time!"
Immediately, you and your friends stopped on your heels and turned to run towards the picnic as you heard Grace call for cupcakes. Making it to the table you all sat around it as Grace placed the tray of treats down on it. From across the yard, you could see the rest of the Hargreeves standing on the back porch unmoving. Using your hand you waved them over as your friends all called and cheered for them to join. The Hargreeves took a look at each other looking for some type of consensus or instruction to go. Five refused to stand around anymore though and instead opted to flash over to the table before sitting down next to you. Taking your hand in his, he looked around at your friends giving them a small wave. And with Five already settling in the rest of the siblings took that as a reason to walk over. Standing around the table the siblings gave your friends polite smiles and greetings but as their eyes passed over Bren they were slightly confused by the object he was looking down at and holding.
"Is that my head?" Ben asks
"You can't take him from me! I'll kill you!" Bren threatened holding Statue Ben's head tighter
"Well, that would be a little difficult since I'm already dead." Ben comments
Bren looked over towards the voice confused at what they had just said but as they looked they saw a translucent blue figure standing next to them. Bren looked back and forth between the statue head in his hands and the figure before staring at the figure with wide eyes.
"Hi, I'm Ben." Ben greeted
Bren stared at Ben for only a moment before immediately passing out and falling from his seat on the ground. While you and your friends were unsurprised at the reaction, the hargreeves looked on in shock. Allison crouched down on her knees gently shaking Bren trying to wake him up.
"Is he okay?" Ben asked concerned
"Is he dead?" Dean questioned
Taking a look at his friend on the ground, Kenny looks back to the rest of the group and states,
"Nah, he's fine."
"You didn't even check to see if he has a pulse," Diego commented
"It's fine, I got this." Kenny explained before shouting "IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE!"
As if it was a reflex Bren shot up from the ground with a fist raised in the air as he exclaimed,
"Don't you fucking dare!"
You and your friends all started to laugh and after a moment of feeling awkward about the situation, the Hargreeves did too. Extending a hand out to Bren to help him back up onto the bench at the table, Kenny said,
"Welcome back prince of darkness it's cupcake time."
And so as things began to get settled everyone together grabbed a cupcake and started to fully enjoy the day. With enthusiastic conversation and the sharing of stories between your two generations of friends, the day after the apocalypse felt like one step forward in a better direction. There were good things in the world, beautiful things, and although there were many open wounds, with time and love they would heal and things would get better one day at a time.
___________________________________
May 15th, 2019:
After the world had been saved, things did not immediately go back to normal. You didn't expect they would, but the amount of clean-up that needed to be done was...a lot. Allison had to go back to California for Claire and her continued custody battle, Diego was still on the line for Eudora's murder, and then there was the whole mess with Vanya at the theatre. And like a cherry on top of the world's worst sundae, you still had to deal with the Hargreeves' interpersonal conflicts with each other along with all their identity crises from learning about their lives in the 1960s. Even your beloved boyfriend was struggling with his identity and what to do next given that he was a young man again and the threat of the apocalypse he had been fighting against for years was now gone. It was overwhelming, to say the least, especially with the fact that you had to resume your life as normal going to school and all. 
But, bit by bit, things started to change for the better.
In an odd twist of fate, when Allison returned to California to continue her mandated sessions, seeing that she was rendered mute and therefore could not use her powers until her voice healed, the court surprisingly decided to cut the number of her mandated sessions in half. An agreement was also reached to let her have supervised visitation with a fairly good agreement in the works for Patrick and Claire to move closer to the city so Allison would not have to fly back and forth.
With the guns that Five anonymously sent to Chuck, video footage at the library and boxing gym at the time of Eudora's death, along with a recovered recording of the phone call of Eudora asking Diego to come to meet her at the motel, Diego was cleared of all charges and taken off the suspect list. And shortly after you and Diego attended Eudora's funeral to fully lay her to rest so that you could all start to move forward.
As for Vanya, through a rousing bout of gaslighting and secret use of your powers you were able to fool officials into believing the Icarus Theater was already structurally unsound and had a massive gas leak which caused everyone to mass hallucinate the events of that night. Which both the theater itself and the mayor made press statements following that narrative.
And as all the major loose threats started getting tied up all that was left were the frayed ends of the Hargreeves' own problems. Through consistent encouragement and the occasional threat of bodily harm, you managed to get the Hargreeves siblings to start opening up to each other. It wasn't perfect as many of them were stubborn bastards who held onto their trauma and resentments like a badge of honor but through their honesty, things started evolving into something more cohesive and family-like. 
It was even family-like enough that Vanya opened up to the group about being transgender and wanting to use different pronouns and go by the name Viktor. Of course, everyone accepted them with love and respect, and when news of this name got to your friend Viktoria, she flipped with excitement at practically sharing the same name with her idol. 
At some point, the group of you came together to execute Reginald's will. It was not unusual that he had one but what was unusual was that he actually left his money, assets, and current investments to people. Specifically as written in his will, All assets of my estate will be evenly dispersed between any and all children who have ever lived under the roof of the Umbrella Academy at the time of my passing. It was a surprisingly kind gesture for a man who for the most part really sucked. But just as written all the assets were dispersed in an eight-way split between the Hargreeves children and yourself. And because of Ben being in fact a ghost and relatively not in need of cash, he offered to use a chunk of his portion from the will to rebuild a new home where the academy once stood for everyone to live in. 
And so things started to settle into a routine. You, Five, Klaus, Ben, Luther, and Mom lived in Eudora's house as there really wasn't any other place for you to go. Mom was finally given her own room and stayed in what was formerly Eudora's bedroom. With the spare air mattress, Luther set up his own space in the basement while Klaus and Ben took the couches in the living room. And to Diego's dismay, you and Five continued to share a room and a bed together. Diego and Viktor lived at their respective places from before the apocalypses but would spend time at Eudora's with the rest of the group when they were free. And Allison made her best efforts to come back and forth between the city and California so she could be both with Claire and her family while custody arrangements were still going on. 
Five was still Five, but there were little changes here and there that you started to see. He quickly ditched the academy uniform and started wearing a mix of formal and casual attire. It was a little funny to see him look like he was going to a James Bond lookalike convention one day and the conspiracy theorist fishing meetup the next but to you, he looked nice either way. He hadn't quite found his style yet but he was getting more comfortable. There were still the days where he would go around anxious about another apocalypse or something else causing you and his family harm, and there were still the nights where he'd wake up in a cold sweat worried that you were dead or that he was still stuck alone in the apocalypse. But he knew he could rely on you, the same way you could rely on him with your nightmares and anxieties and the two of you slowly started to heal your traumas together.  The biggest leap through was the way he was with your friends. Your friends would consistently go over to your place to hang out with you, interact with the Hargreeves, and slowly absorb Five into your chaotic friend group. At first, you could tell their desire to include him in things came on a little too strong and he had a strong pushback against it but as they gave him his space to adjust on his own he slowly started coming around more. Joining for movies and partaking in a few of your sleepovers, but he especially did well with the type of sarcastic nihilistic humor you and your friends shared. And before he could even realize it, your friends were now his friends too.
And although there was still so much chaos, things were good.
Like many other days, you had woken up, gone to school, and met up with your friends. But compared to those other days, today was different. Today was the day that you and your friends would be seeing if you were going to get into college. Specifically, if you guys were going to get into the elite college that you all applied to. Most of your admissions letters had come in but no one had opened theirs yet because you were all waiting on one more to come to your house. But you knew today was the day. When you all had sent in your applications they notified you that all decisions would be received in the mail by this specific date, and so after school ended the seven of you went to Eudora's house to finally see if you were getting in or not. Arriving at the house you opened the mailbox and pulled out the few envelopes in there checking to see if the letter you all had been waiting for had come. 
It had. 
And with that letter in your hands, you all were ready to see what the future held. Heading towards the front door you grabbed the packages off the porch before heading inside. One by one the group filed into the house, seeing the very familiar sight of all the Hargreeves scattered about the living room and adjoining dining room. Five and Ben, who was now consistently visible and able to interact with objects due to Klaus' practice with his powers and lack of heavy drug usage, were both reading in the living room while Klaus knitted on the floor watching cartoons. Luther and Diego were playing what seemed like a competitive game of UNO at the dining room table and Viktor and Allison were having a conversation in the doorway connecting the two rooms. As you all entered the house there was a chorus of greetings as you and your friends settled in. Placing the letter mail down on the dining room table you passed out the packages stating,
"Klaus your Shein order arrived, Ben here's that literary magazine you submitted to and Luther your book Whoops! I Guess I'm A Parent Now came in."
"Why do you need a parenting book?" Diego questioned confused
"Hi, Luther!" Lucas exclaimed popping up behind him
"Jesus, Lucas. What have we talked about when it comes to personal space?" Luther asks defeated
"Sorry, dad." Lucas apologized
Letting out a defeated sigh, Luther gestures toward Lucas. A smirk comes to Diego's face as he chuckles a bit responding, 
"I see, but if I can get the hang of it so can you big guy."
As things started to settle down with everyone getting situated in the house Klaus called out from the living room,
"So is today the big day for you all?"
"It sure is!" Kenny responded excitedly
"Alright then, how about we gather around and watch you open up your letters then?" Viktor suggests
You and your friends nodded opening your backpacks and pulling out the envelopes you had been waiting to open for days now. Everyone gathered around the dining room table, you and your friends standing while most of the Hargreeves sat or leaned up against a wall. Out of all the college applications you had sent out this was the school you were hoping to get into the most. You and all of your friends had applied but the acceptance rate was low and all of the programs each of you applied for were overwhelmingly competitive. You could feel the nerves of anticipation build as you stared at the letter in your hands.
Sensing your nerves, Five took one of your hands in his giving it a reassuring squeeze as he comforted you,
"Hey, you're gonna get in. You have nothing to worry about."
"Yeah, the only ones who need to worry are those admissions people if they don't let you in. I'll kick their asses." Diego stated, pulling out one of his knives
You assumed your brother was trying to be reassuring. It was not helping as much as he probably thought it was though. Seeing the look on your face, Allison rolled her eyes taking the knife from Diego's hand and placing it on the table before gesturing to the group of you holding your letters.
"Alright, alright. I'm just saying." Diego replies 
A silence fell over the room as you and your friends all looked at each other.
"Moment of truth." Bren states quietly
"Huh...yeah," Viktoria replies nervously
"Countdown from three?" Lucas suggests
All of you nodded your heads quietly at each other before taking a collective deep breath. Meeting each other's eyes you all start to countdown in unison,
"Three. Two. One."
And with that the seven of you ripped open your envelopes, pulling out the letters inside and unfolding the papers to see what they said. There was a heavy weight in the room as you all started scanning that first sentence for the most important word. And then you all saw it-
Congratulations.
The worry on your faces turned into shock as all of your eyes went wide and the Hargreeves waited quietly for one of you to say something. Tears pricked at your eyes as you looked up from the paper in your hands.
Seeing the tears forming in your eyes Diego and Five leaned in concerned both worriedly asking,
"What happened?"
A small smile started to form on your face as you quietly replied,
"I got into the chemistry program."
As you said those words the worry on their faces started to melt away and an overwhelming feeling of happiness washed over them. After all this time, and everything that had happened to you, it was comforting to see you so happy. Five reached up and grabbed one of your hands placing a kiss on it before looking up at you and saying confidently,
"I told you there was nothing to worry about."
You gently wiped away some of your tears as you looked toward Diego, holding out the acceptance letter for him to take. Gently taking the letter, he started to read through it but the further he got through it the more blurry the words on the page became. Diego blinked his eyes trying to clear his vision as he looked back up towards you. He beamed with pride at all you had accomplished. You had done so much and come so far from where you were back when you were 13. You grew up into such an amazing person and at that moment Diego only had one thought on his mind.
"I wish your parents were here to see you now. They'd be so proud of how you turned out." Diego quietly states
You were taken aback by what Diego had said but it meant so much for you to hear that. In your lived experience it had been a decade since you were last around your parents, and you wondered if they would be proud of who you had become even after disobeying one of their main rules. For him to say that they would be happy with the person you had become was the best reassurance he could've ever given you. Looking back at him you quietly responded,
"Well, they'd have you to thank for that."
And just like he did to you only a moment ago, Diego too was taken aback by what you said. He Had tried his best for so many years not to replace your parents but to fill in the spot they were supposed to be as best as he could. He had help from Eudora and his mom but he did everything he could to give you the best life and it meant everything to him to know that after all that had happened, you still felt that he had done right by your parents. Although he tried holding them back obvious tears fell from Diego's eyes causing Klaus to ask,
"Are you going to cry?"
"No, I'm gonna punch you in the throat." Diego threatens getting choked up
"I was just gonna offer you a tissue if you were," Klaus replies slowly holding out a tissue box
"Oh. I mean- I'm fine. It's just dust." Diego lies taking a bunch of tissues from the box
"But I dusted yesterday," Grace states as she steps into the room
As Diego attempts and fails to conceal the overwhelming wave of emotion he felt, Lucas approaches Luther once more holding up his acceptance letter for him to see.
"Luther look! I got into the political science program and I got a sports scholarship! I'm gonna be playing on the football team!" Lucas proclaims excitedly "I know you don't really like your number but I'm going to ask if I can get the number one on my jersey so you can always have my back. I've never played with any other number except yours."
Lucas looked at Luther with his blue eyes lit up with excitement and a wide smile was plastered on his face as he continued to hold the paper out in front of him. And as Luther looked back at him, processing the words Lucas just said it was like someone shanked him in the heart, but in a good way. Luther's face started to contort weirdly as he tried to process the wave of emotion coming over him.
"Luther, are you okay?" Lucas questions confused
"Yeah, it's just like Diego said...dust." Luther replies getting choked up as well "I'm really proud of you."
"Thanks!" Lucas replies happily
As Lucas turns away to go show Addison his letter, Allison steps forward and begins patting Diego and Luther's backs trying to console the two blubbering strong men with "dust" in their eyes. Wanting to know what other news was around, Ben looks at your friends who hadn't spoken yet and questions,
"Well, what about the rest of you?"
"I'm going to be an English major." Bren states
"Hell yeah, the Master of Death is taking on college with his Edgar Allen Bro," Kenny exclaims throwing an arm around Bren
"So you managed to get into the nursing program then?" Bren questions
"Of course! You didn't believe I could do it?" Kenny retorts, pretending to be shocked
"Just a smidge." Bren jokes sarcastically
"You suck." Kenny replies playfully shoving him away "Anyway I think this calls for a celebration shot. Klaus, you want one?"
"Of course!" Klaus exclaims
"No!" Ben and Bren reprimand at the same time
As Bren And Ben attempt to stop Kenny and Klaus from getting their celebratory shots, Dean raises his acceptance letter over his head and proudly declares,
"Well, I'm going to be getting my criminal justice degree so I can get one step closer to being a public defender."
"Let's just hope you don't fall in love with a girl who wants to be a district attorney." You comment to him
"Like that's gonna happen," Dean remarks back
You sucked in your breath and threw a side glance to Five as you knew your brother's type very well and the chance of him having feelings for someone who wanted to work on the opposite side of the justice system was more likely than he probably thought. Five gave you a look back as he shrugged his shoulders. Well, there was nothing you could do about it except wait for it to happen.
"Okay that's cool and all, but Viktoria and I are going to be in the performance business because we just got into the music and theatre programs!" Addison exclaims
"That's great!" Viktor praises "You'll have to let us know when you're performing in the future so we can go watch."
Allison nods her head agreeing with Viktor's statement as she applauds for the two of them, before pointing at an unopened envelope on the table that was now scattered amongst the other open admission letters. Everyone looked at the extra envelope on the table, the one that you had brought in today. It was the envelope you and your friends were waiting on and you didn't need to look at who the envelope was addressed to because you already knew. Smiles came to your and your friends' faces as the Hargreeves looked around at each other confused.
"Whose letter is that?" Five inquired
"It's yours." You replied picking up the letter and holding it out towards him
Five looked at you confused as he slowly took the letter from your hand. Looking down he saw that it was addressed to him just like you had said. Looking back up Five noticed the excited looks on your faces, and while he was still confused he now was more so intrigued by your reactions.
"Open it! Open it! Open it!" Lucas started to chant as the rest of your friends follow suit
"Uh, okay." Five replied confused
Turning the envelope around Five opens the seal before carefully pulling out a folded-up piece of paper and unfolding it to see what it said just as you all had done moments ago. Five started to read was the paper said but before he could get very far Viktoria encouraged,
"Read it aloud." 
Five gave a quick nod of his head before looking back down at the paper and beginning to read aloud,
"Dear Mr. Five Hargreeves, Congratulations on your admission to our physics program..."
Five paused as he looked up from the letter giving you and the group a quizzical look only to be met with seven "go on" looks back at him. Slowly, he looked back down at the paper as he continued,
"...We receive hundreds of applications each year from qualified students across the globe but your application stood out amongst the others. You have demonstrated immense talent and ability that is in alliance with the goals and mission of our school and we are happy to invite you to be part of our incoming class for fall 2019."
Five looked up from the letter once more and saw the looks of anticipation on all of your faces and that was when he realized what you all had done. You all were going to college and didn't want him to feel bad about not being there with you so you made up a letter just for him. It was quite impressive that you managed to make it look so official but nevertheless he appreciated the gesture.
"Sooooo?" Addison inquired
"Thank you." Five replied, "It's really nice that you made a fake admission letter so I could feel included."
You and your friends all looked at each other confused.
"Fake?" Kenny commented, "Damn that would've been a much easier process."
"What do you mean?" Five questioned confused
"Dude, it's a real letter. You're going to college with us." Dean explained
Five looked down at the letter again and then towards his siblings, all of which had the same confused and dumbfounded looks on their faces.
"What?" Five questioned even more unsure of what was going on "I don't understand. I didn't send in an application."
"That's because we did it for you." Lucas elaborated "April 3rd through April 21st was the most stressful three weeks of our lives thanks to your girlfriend."
All the Hargreeves leaned forward waiting for you to actually explain what was going on because nothing about this was making sense at this point.
"What did you do?" Viktor asked
"The real question is what didn't we do?" Bren replied, "(Y/N), you want to elaborate?"
"Sure. It was a pretty involved process but we submitted an application to the university we all applied for." You started to explain "First we had to get you documented, so Dean broke into the city records office and managed to get you a birth certificate saying you were born October 1st, 2000 so it would make sense why you were applying for college this year."
"He did what?" Luther asked shocking out of his emotional state
"Broke into the city records office, keep up." Dean added, "I also got you a bunch of other legal documents you would need and scanned them into the government system so it looks like you were always on the record."
"Nice job, kid. Good for you." Diego complimented
"So then Bren hacked our high school records system and added you in there to make it seem like you were a student." You continued
"Don't worry I gave you the best possible grades I could without putting you in the running for valedictorian or salutatorian," Bren added
"And you remember those interview questions I asked you for a group project I was doing?" Viktoria interjected
"Yeah?" Five replied hesitantly
"Those were the application questions. Reader and I took your responses and turned them into actual writing." Viktoria responds
The jaws of the Hargreeves slowly began to drop more and more as you and your friends continued to elaborate on everything you did to get Five into college with you.
"I helped to get you some letters of recommendation from teachers under the guise that they were writing nomination recommendations for (Y/N) to get into a science program." Lucas stated, "I just downloaded the word documents they sent back and changed her name to yours though."
"And since we're the closest in appearance, I went and got a fake ID so I could take the SAT for you!" Kenny exclaims "Well. Kind of. I just was sitting there filling in the bubbles but (Y/N) was feeding me the answers. Invisibly of course."
"And I called the admissions office pretending to be Allison's press agent saying that a family member of hers was applying to their school but to keep it under wraps because she didn't want them getting hounded with attention. Which obviously put them on high alert for your application." Addison finishes
Quickly pulling out the notebook she carried on her, Allison vigorously wrote down in bold letters "WHAT?" before holding it up to the rest of the group tapping at the word on the page. 
"Anyway!" You stated ignoring Allison's concern "All of us threw an application together for you and now you're in. With us!"
Five took a long look at you before looking around at the rest of the people in the room. You and your friends looked at him excitedly while his siblings face beamed with pleasant surprise at what you all had done. It felt unreal that this could be happening. He knew that he was technically young again but the fact that he had the ability to start over hadn't hit him until now when he was actually presented with an opportunity to do so. 
"You guys did all of this for me?" He asks
"Of course, you're our friend!" Addison replies
"It would be weird to not have you there with us." Bren chimes in "But you have your girlfriend to thank for keeping us all on track."
Five stood up from the chair he was sitting in and looked down at the paper in his hands before once more directing his attention back to the group of people around him. 
"Sooooo, you wanna go to college with us?" Lucas inquires
"We'll have the five boys taking college by storm." Dean encourages
"Is that five boys in the sense that you're his boys or the number of boys?" Viktor asks confused
Lucas, Dean, Kenny, and Bren all direct their attention towards Viktor as they simultaneously state,
"Both." 
You couldn't tell exactly what your boyfriend was thinking at that moment but nevertheless, you put a reassuring hand on his shoulder as you softly said,
"You've worked so hard to get where you are right now, and you have a second chance right in front of you. Why don't we make it the best it can be?" 
Five looked at your beautiful face and knew that you were right. He did work hard to get here. He does have a second chance. And he was going to make it the best it could be.
"So what do ya say, buddy?" Kenny suggests
"I guess I'm going to college."
As everyone threw their congratulations toward each other and talked about their excitement for the future, Five took your hand and pulled you aside in the living room. Holding your hand a little tighter, he glanced back towards the bustling dining room filled with his friends and family.
"Thank you." He said quietly as he caught your eyes and added "You didn't have to do all of this."
With the hand that was not being held by Five's, you lifted it up towards his face and placed it on his cheek, gently brushing your thumb back and forth. 
"I just wanted you to find your purpose again." You replied
Letting go of your hand, Five wrapped his arms around your waist as he pulled you closer to him. He never needed to find a purpose. He had a purpose, it had been his main purpose since the day he first found it and he wanted you to know so.
"Don't worry. I already have one." He stated quietly
"Yeah?" You replied curiously
"Yeah," He responded sincerely "I'm looking at it."
"And I'm looking at mine." You added softly
The two of you held your gaze with each other for a moment before gently pressing your lips against each other. It was soft and sweet and neither of you could help but smile into it. You two were each other's raison d'etre. It had always been that way, and it was the way it would always be. 
"Oooooooooooooh! " Your friends teased from the dining room
Pulling away from the kiss you and Five look towards your group of friends as they made kissy faces towards the two of you and playfully mocked your display of affection. Rolling your eyes at them you exclaimed,
"Oh shut up!"
"C'mon love birds, have some cake with us."  Klaus remarks
You placed one more kiss on Five's cheek before pulling away. Reaching his hand out, Five took yours in his, and hand in hand the two of you took another step into your future together.
________
June 16th, 2019. 7:30 AM:
After too many years, several attempts on your life, three time jumps, two apocalypses, a death, and a resurrection, you were finally graduating high school. It had been a lot of hard work, probably more work than any other person ever had to do to get to where you were, but you did it. Today was the day, and more so, through all the trials and tribulations you still managed to become valedictorian. 
Getting up bright and early, you got ready for the big day ahead of you. You and your friends, long before any of the apocalypse chaos was even a thought in your mind, had planned that on your graduation day you would all go get breakfast at a local diner before heading to the school. You had woken up before most others in the house and gone through your typical morning routine to get ready for the day. Shower, teeth, hair, dressed, etcetera. You accomplished it all but once that was done, you grabbed your valedictorian speech from your room, put it into the pocket of your dress, and grabbed the hanger that was holding your cap and gown before heading downstairs.  Hanging the cap and gown on the coat rack by the door, you then turned to head into the kitchen only to find your boyfriend there leaning against one of the counters with a mug of what you assumed to be coffee in his hand. He wore a white button-up, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, along with some black slacks, shoes, and a tie.  His hair fell off to the side in its usual style and as you stepped into the kitchen you saw his bright green eyes light up as he looked at you. A smile was on his face as he placed his coffee down on the counter, and walked over to where you stood. Placing his hands on your waist, he looked you up and down as he commented,
"Well don't you look wonderful." He commented
You smiled back at him before taking a step closer and wrapping your arms around his neck.
"You're one to talk." You replied "I mean you're all dressed up. I haven't seen you like this in a few weeks."
It was true that he really hadn't worn more of his formal clothing for a bit, but he really hadn't gone anywhere so it never seemed necessary. Most times your friends would come over to the house after school to hang out so it didn't make sense to put on a more business-type attire. If no one but his friends were going to see him, why stress about it when he could just lounge around in a flannel and jeans.
"No reason to put on my good clothes if I'm not leaving the house." Five remarked
A playful smirk came to your face as you started to run your fingers through the back of his hair. Gently, you started to sway side to side as you moved your face slightly closer to his. Not enough to kiss him yet, but enough for him to notice the change in distance. With your eyes locked on his, you playfully mused, 
"I mean I have a reason."
"Oh, you do?" Five inquired taking on the same playful tone as you as he also leaned in a bit more "And what might that reason be?"
"I like seeing you in them." You answered
Slowly, Five brought one of his hands up from your waist, tracing it along your side and neck before using it to tilt your chin up towards him more. A teasing smirk appeared on his face and he knew exactly what he was doing as he asked in a low tone,
"And why is that babe?"
You could feel your stomach do a flip as he called you that. It was a rare occurrence but it made it all the more impactful on the occasions where he did use it. You were the one who had started this cat and mouse though and you were going to be the one to finish it. Gently, one of your hands snaked from behind his neck and over his chest before grabbing onto his tie.
"Because when you wear a tie I can do this."
And with one little pull, you had closed the gap between you and him. Your lips pressed together firmly and you could taste the black coffee he was drinking only moments ago. It was bitter but over the past few months, it had become one of your favorite tastes. Together your lips moved slowly and softly against one another, but it wasn't enough for either of you. Your one hand that was playing with his hair earlier now gently pulled at it while your other was still tightly wrapped around his tie. 
Five grabbed at your waist once more pulling you flush against him. Even a centimeter of space between the two of you was too much. His sudden action caused you to part your lips slightly allowing him to deepen the kiss. If there was one thing Five appreciated about his new living arrangements it was the fact that he didn't have Diego breathing down his neck every time he so much as decided to look at you. As Dean affectionately called Diego, he was "el bloque de pollas último" and every second he wasn't around Five relished in the freedom that it brought. The two of you shared a room, a bed, as much privacy as two young adults could want, and the ability to express your love for the other. However, whenever.
Maybe it was the way you liked how the other looked in formal clothes or maybe it was the excitement and anticipation of the day, but whatever the reason was, at that moment there was a neediness that grew. You hummed happily into each other's mouths as your need for more sped up the kiss. You held each other close, melting into each other as your lips refused to part because there was no need for air when you had the other. Both of you were hungry, not for breakfast though, but for each other. But then from behind you, you both heard,
"Must really be a sucking face kinda morning, huh?"
Immediately, the two of you broke from your kiss, your heads snapping towards where the comment came from only to see Klaus leaning against the doorway to the kitchen with a wide smile on his face. 
"Good morning lovebirds." He greeted cheerfully
"Jesus Klaus! How long have you been there?" You exclaimed
"How long has this mating ritual been going on?" Klaus questions, his demeanor teasing and upbeat
You and Five both roll your eyes annoyed by the rude interruption Klaus had caused. Obviously upset by this development, Five snaps,
"Don't you have to get ready or something?"
"Don't you have to jack off before Diego gets here or something?" Klaus replies playfully
"Fuck off Klaus." Five retorts irritated
"Listen, I'm just saying if you plan on taking any celebratory actions you should relegate it to behind a door and not in the middle of the kitchen," Klaus commented
"Klaus, no- that's not what we were-." You stuttered out, a blush rising to your face as you added "why do you have to make everything weird..."
"Because he doesn't know how to do anything else." Five remarked
"Okay rude. I'm just trying to help you two," Klaus explains "But also there's a car in the driveway."
"Is it black or green?" You question
"Black," Klaus replies
Hearing his response you let out a disappointed sigh as you state,
"That's Dean's car. They're here."
Giving Five a disappointed look, you walk away from him and back into the living room for a moment to make sure you had all your things to go. As you moved away from the kitchen Five quickly approached Klaus. Displeasure and irritation written all over his face after what had just happened.
"Next time keep your help to yourself." Five chastised under his breath "I just want to kiss my girlfriend. That's all."
Placing a hand on the shoulder of his brother who was definitely frustrated in more ways than one, Klaus whispered back,
"With the way this house goes through tissues, I think you're lying to yourself, buddy."
"Mon chéri." You called as you walked back into the kitchen "Before I go, do you think you can read over my speech one more time?"
Five looked away from Klaus, his displeased expression turning into one of genuine care. You had been making consistent edits to your valedictorian speech since you had first found out you would become valedictorian at the beginning of the month. Trying to be supportive, Five reassures,
"Ma chérie, I've read it 47 times over the past two weeks. 12 of those in the past 36 hours. It is a great speech and you are going to do amazing."
"You think so?" You asked
"I know so." Five stated positively "And you'll have all of us there to support you."
You could hear the sound of a car beeping outside signifying that your friends were all there and they were getting impatient with you not coming out of the house yet. You looked towards the front door before looking back at Five and saying,
"Are you sure you don't want to come with us? I'm sure we can squeeze you into Dean's car."
"This was something you all planned together and that car is already packed as it is." Five explains "Anyway someone has to be here to make sure this family gets there on time."
Another round of beeping could be heard from outside along with the now growing sounds of enthusiastic screaming calling your name. If you didn't get out of the house soon your friends were going to wake the whole neighborhood.
"Alright, the ceremony starts at 10 am so everyone needs to be in their seats no later than 9:45." You stated before asking "Have you printed out the tickets?"
"Not yet, but I will." Five replies "If there's one thing I'm good at, it's getting shit done under time constraints."
"Alright. I love you." You say
"I love you too." 
Placing a quick peck on his lips, you rush out of the kitchen, grabbing your cap and gown off the coat hanger before opening the door to head outside. As you go to close the door, you can hear from behind you Five reassuringly exclaim,
"Don't stress, okay? Everything is going to be fine." 
June 16th, 2019. 9:15 AM:
Everything was NOT  fine.
At this point, Murphy's Law should've changed its name to Hargreeves Law because anything that could go wrong did go wrong. Which was almost incredible because it started out so fine...
After you had left to go to breakfast, Five finished drinking the rest of the coffee trying to improve his mood that was effectively ruined by Klaus. No matter how annoyed he was by Klaus' interference this morning, he knew this day wasn't about that. It was about you graduating and because you were already stressed about it Five tried to stay calm and positive. Keeping on track, Five went over to the house computer and followed the directions that you had shown him plenty of times before he clicked the button to print the tickets to get into your graduation. And as the jarring clunks signifying the printer was starting up could be heard so could the sounds of the rest of the house getting ready. 
As Luther got ready in the bathroom and Klaus started making himself some toast for breakfast, Five went upstairs into what was previously Eudora's room to see if Grace was ready. Five entered the room to see Grace sitting in her craft chair in the corner looking down at the cross-stitch in her hands, the lamp Luther had gotten her yesterday still on. 
"Good morning Grace." Five greeted
Grace didn't respond though. All she did was look down at the cross-stitch in her hands. Confused, Five slowly approached her calling her name once more,
"Grace?"
Once more she didn't respond. She didn't even more. And as Five finally stood next to her, he saw what the problem was. Grace had requested a new lamp so she could cross-stitch while she charged at night and yesterday Luther had taken the responsibility of getting it for her since everyone else was busy. Leaving that responsibility to him though must've been too much because as Five currently saw, when he had plugged in the lamp he unplugged her charger to do so, meaning that she hadn't charged at all and was not awake.
"Shit." Five said to himself as he quickly unplugged the lamp and plugged in her charger. 
He watch anxiously for the little blue light to come on behind her eyes and hoped that soon enough she would wake up and be able to go to your graduation. She had to go. Everyone was going. It was Five's responsibility to make sure that everyone was going. As Five continued to look at Grace he tried to reassure himself that everything would be fine. And then the blue lights signifying she was charging came on. Five let out a sigh of relief, hopefully, she would charge quickly and this problem would be behind him. This was just one little bump in the road this morning. It couldn't get worse right? Right as he thought that though, he could hear Luther yell,
"FIVE!"
Rushing from the bedroom towards the bathroom, he opened the door only to find Luther with a plunger in his hand and the bathtub ready to overflow.
"What happened!" Five shouted
"I was shaving, and the drain got clogged," Luther explains worried
And as he said those words Five actually noticed his brother's appearance. The left side of his upper body was all shaved, while the other side was a bushy mess of thick gorilla hair. A distinct line split down the middle of his chest showed where one side ended and the other began.
"Why didn't you shave last night?!" Five snapped
"I was worried that it would grow back and I wanted to be clean-shaven for (Y/N)'s graduation. I didn't think this would happen!" Luther exclaimed
"You didn't think shaving a bunch of your monkey hair down the drain wouldn't cause it to clog?" Five criticized
"No!" Luther replies panicked "What do we do?!"
"Turn off the water you idiot!" Five yells
"Right!"
Luther quickly reaches down towards the faucet, turning the water off, but right as the drain problem was stopped in its tracks a scream could be heard from downstairs. Running out of the bathroom, with the half-hairy Luther in tow, the two quickly head downstairs only to see Allison and Viktor run into the house.
"Was that you?" Five urgently questions
"No, was that you?" Viktor responds
"Why would it be us if I just asked if it was you?" Five replied exasperated
"I don't know! We just got here." Viktor states with Allison nodding her head in agreement
As Viktor finished his statement another scream could be heard from the kitchen. Rushing in the Hargreeves siblings took in the sight of the toaster on fire and Ben using his tentacles to wave Klaus around in the air. Because he too was on fire. The group froze for a moment, in shock at what they were seeing before them, but after a few seconds of processing, everyone started to gain a sense of urgency.
“What do we do?” Viktor questioned worriedly
“Get the fire extinguisher!” Five directed back “In the closet.”
Viktor nodded his head. Turning on his heel he rushed back towards the hall closet, a loop on his belt getting caught on a nearby door handle. Getting stuck his momentum halted causing him to lose his balance and fall to the ground. And as he fell forward the awful sound of fabric tearing ripped through the air. Ignoring the sound Viktor stood back up and finished making his way to the hall closet. Grabbing the fire extinguisher he wobbled back towards the kitchen, his pants starting to fall to his knees, fiddling with the release valve trying to make sure it would spray at the toaster.
When Viktor had run off towards the hall closet, Allison ran towards the toaster. Avoiding the flames, she unplugged the toaster from its outlet and although it wouldn’t stop the fire itself, it would stop the electric current from running through it. As she started to make her way back from the toaster she saw Viktor come back into the kitchen, his pants ripped and now starting to fall down closer to his knees. Allison stopped in her tracks confused by the sight. Viktor looked up from the extinguisher, his eyes wide with surprise at the sight of his sister but before either of them could change course Viktor had already started to press the release valve letting all the extinguisher foam come out covering the toaster-
...and Allison. 
Wiping the foam from Allison looked over at Viktor in shock but that attention was drawn away  by Klaus shouting,
"Put me down!"
"I'm trying to help! You're still on fire!" Ben yelled back as he continued to swing Klaus around with his tentacle
"I'd rather you let me burn than make me puke!" Klaus exclaimed, "You're flooding my brain with blood!"
Hearing the word flood, a lightbulb went off in Luther's head as he rushed over to Ben with his arms out and loudly stated,
"Ben! Give him to me I have a solution!" 
Letting go of Klaus, Ben drops him into Luther's arms. Turning away from the kitchen Luther starts to rush towards the stairs leading to the top floor. Five watches bewildered as Luther carried the currently on fire Klaus through the house. Spacial jumping in front of Luther, Five asked frustratedly,
"What are you doing?!" 
"I have an idea just trust me!" Luther stated as he pushed past Five and headed up the stairs
"NO!" Five yelled as he followed Luther "Why would I do that?"
Quickly, Luther rushed back into the bathroom where the almost overflowing tub was and held Klaus over it.
"Luther what are yo-" Five started to inquire
But before he could finish, Luther dropped Klaus into the tub below. Water splashed from the tub drenching the nearby walls and covering the floor in a solid layer of wetness.
"Why would you do that?!" Five shouted
"Well look, he's not on fire anymore," Luther replied sincerely
"He's completely drenched, you idiot!” Five chastised “And on top of it there's water all over the floor now!"
Standing up, Klaus slowly got out of the tub. The right side of his clothes were black and charred from the fire that was on him, his once curly hair now flopped down in his face, and every time he moved water would rain down from off his clothing like he had gotten caught out in a hurricane. Unable to see with his wet hair in his eyes Klaus reached out and grabbed onto the first fabric he could feel.
"Klaus wait! That's my-" Luther starts to warn
But just like Five unsuccessfully stopped Luther before, Luther unsuccessfully stopped Klaus from using the fabric to dry off his face and hair before dropping it on the floor to sop up some of the water.
"Only dress shirt..." Luther slowly finishes
Five let out an exasperated sigh by all the idiocy that was going on around him. Today was supposed to be a nice day all about you and your accomplishments but just like every other time they needed to work together under time constraints, his siblings found a way to mess it all up. Leaving the bathroom he saw as Grace wobbled out of her room on unsteady legs.
"Goooooood Mooorning" She slurred
Five closed his eyes rubbing at his temples trying to relieve the stress headache that was coming on as he called out,
"Luther!"
Peaking his head around the corner of the bathroom door, Luther looked towards Five waiting to see what he was called for.
"Help get Grace downstairs," Five explained gesturing to her "I'm going to try and find her portable charger."
With a quick nod of his head, Luther lifted Grace up gently in his arms before walking downstairs, Five following closely behind before turning off towards the kitchen. The room was still covered with fire extinguisher foam, the toaster burned and unusable, but at least the printer in the office corner was unharmed. Flashing to the corner to avoid the extinguisher foam, Five grabbed a portable charger for Grace from the cabinet so she wouldn't shut off during the ceremony. Placing the charger in his pocket, Five grabbed the printed tickets from the printer tray but as he tried to lift them up he realized one of them was stuck. He tried pulling on it from the tray a little harder but when that didn't work he knew it was an internal issue. Lifting up the lid where the ink and printer reels were located Five saw the one page caught in the reels. Folding up the papers and placing them in his other pocket, Five carefully tried to get the paper unstuck but when it still wouldn't come loose he became frustrated. None of them could get into the ceremony without these tickets. 
"Stupid fucking modern technology." Five mumbled angrily to himself before pulling harshly at the printer and shouting "Just give me the fucking tickets!"
With one more harsh pull the paper came free from the reels along with the reels themselves coming free from the printer and yellow, cyan, and magenta ink splattering from their cartridge onto his dress shirt and tie. 
"SHIT!" Five yelled as he pushed the printer onto the ground and started kicking it
And as he beat up the broken and defenseless printer he caught a glimpse of the clock over the stove, and saw that it was 9:15 causing him to sprint into the living room and shout,
"WE NEED TO GO!"
The rest of his siblings looked at him with confused faces. How could they go when they looked like this? But before anyone could open their mouth and address the elephant in the room Diego walked through the door excitedly exclaiming,
"My girl is graduating!"
The messed-up crowd of Hargreeves turned to look at the only missing member of the family who had finally decided to arrive. But the sight they saw was both unexpected and highly unsurprising. Diego wore a hat with "World's Best Brother" embroidered on it and a shirt that said "My kid is valedictorian, not yours" as he held an airhorn in one hand and a bunch of balloons in another. As all the Hargreeves looked around at each other, Diego finally processed the scene before him asking,
 "Oh shit- what the fuck happened here?"
And it was with those seven words that Five had finally fully lost it. His siblings watched as his face started to twitch. Malice formed in his eyes as he began to vibrate violently. And like a powder keg whose fuse ran out, Five exploded,
"GRACE DIDN'T CHARGE OVERNIGHT! LUTHER CLOGGED THE SHOWER DRAIN TRYING TO SHAVE AND NOW LOOKS LIKE A WALKING YING-YANG! KLAUS CAUGHT ON FIRE! BEN IS A GHOST!  ALLISON IS COVERED IN FIRE EXTINGUISHER FOAM! VIKTOR HAS NO PANTS! AND I'M COVERED IN INK FROM THIS STUPID FUCKING PRINTER! AND WE ALL NEED TO LEAVE NOW !"
Five breathed heavily trying to regain both his composure and the breath he lost from yelling so much. If they didn't leave in the next few minutes they would not be getting to your graduation in time and that could NOT happen. He should've known this would happen though. They could barely organize themselves to get to an alley in Dallas on time. Why would they be able to manage themselves for your graduation? Honestly, Five had hoped that this was important enough to them that they could pull it together but if there was one thing the Hargreeves were good at it was fucking up everything at the most inopportune times. His siblings quietly stared at him for a moment before Viktor raised his hand and stated,
"Uh Five, we can't leave...I don't have any pants." 
And it was that comment that unleashed an onslaught of other ones. Allison gestured up and down at herself aggressively as she was still covered with extinguisher foam and Klaus inquired,
"Should I try to change?"
"Is Mom even in condition to leave the house?" Diego questions
"I don't have a shirt anymore." Luther comments
"Hey what does me being a ghost have to do with anything?" Ben asks
 Angrily flashing away, Five grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt from the dryer before flashing back to the living room. Tossing the portable charger at clothes at the respective people Five exclaimed,
"Here's Grace's portable charger, here's a shirt, and here's some fucking pants!"
"Five these are Luther's pants," Viktor said holding up the very oversized pair
"And this is Klaus' shirt." Luther holding up a very undersized shirt
" I don't care! Put them on and get in a car! We're leaving!"
Luther and Viktor glanced at each other before reluctantly putting on the clothes that did not fit. Viktor was practically swimming in Luther's pants which came all the way up to his chest level. And Luther was practically hulking in Klaus' shirt which looked like a crop top on him and exposed his half-shaven half-hairy midriff and arms. Diego let go of the balloons in his hand and let them roam free about the living room as he helped Grace up and started bringing her outside to his car. Allison gestured at herself once more but instead of wasting his breath Five just started showing his siblings out the door. It did not matter. Five did not care about how anyone looked at this point. All he knew is that they needed to go and go they would. 
By some miracle, the disorganized bunch actually made it into the cars as they sped off towards your high school. And by running both stop signs and red lights they managed to make it there in record time. Parking on some open spots of grass the group rushed out of the cars and over towards the check-in table with Luther carrying Grace on his shoulder since she couldn't really walk let alone run. Out of breath, the messed-up-looking family stood together in front of the check-in table. Slamming the printed-out tickets on the table Five stared down at a volunteer underclassman who looked back at him in fear.
"Eight tickets for Hargreeves. Where are our seats." Five demanded harshly
The underclassmen looked down at a paper in front of him before looking back up at Five who look like he was ready to revert to his assassin ways and kill without hesitation. 
"Se-se-section B, r-row K." The underclassman stammered, a hand shakily pointing in the general direction of their seats
Standing up straight, Five takes a deep breath before fixing his hair and readjusting his ink-covered tie.
"Thank you." He replies politely as he walks off in the direction of their seats
The rest of the Hargreeves give the frightened kid apologetic smiles as they quickly follow behind. Ignoring the confused and judgemental looks of other families the Hargreeves made it to their seats and quietly sat down together. Taking a look at his watch Five saw that the clock read 9:45 am. Somehow he had managed to do it. He got all his siblings together and got to your graduation on time and now all they had to do was wait for it to start. 
After 15 minutes of ignoring people's stares and people slowly moving to farther away seats from them the sound of pomp and circumstance played by the high school band began. Two by two students started walking into the high school gym and to their respective seats. Families cheered and called out to their graduating kids trying to get them to look as they passed by and the Hargreeves were no different. The minute you stepped into the gym you could hear an excited voice call out,
"That's my little valedictorian!"
Only to be followed by the sound of an airhorn going off a few times. You let out a small laugh knowing that Diego was obviously enthusiastic about your accomplishment today. With a smile you looked toward where the sound came from but when you finally locked eyes on the Hargreeves your smile slowly faded as your jaw dropped in a state of shock. Locking eyes with your boyfriend you mouthed at him,
"What the fuck."
"Don't ask." He mouthed back
You blinked your eyes a few times in confusion and you slowly looked back forward and managed to make your way to your seat at the front. Besides your utter shock at the current state of the Hargreeves, the ceremony went off without a hitch. A commemorative video for the class of 2019 was played followed by a plethora of speeches from members of the school's administration. And then it came time for you to speak. Slowly you rose from your seat at the front and walked over to the podium. Pulling out your speech you unfolded it and looked it over once more before looking out amongst the crowd of people watching you. You could see as your friends gave you supportive smiles and thumbs-ups and the Hargreeves looked on with pride. Locking eyes with your boyfriend you watched as he gave you a smile and a small nod encouraging you to read the speech you had worked so hard on. Taking a deep breath you look at the crowd once more and began to speak,
"I have heard many times in my educational career that you get out what you put into it. And I think that same concept applies to life itself. I have learned a lot over the past few years of my life.  And the main thing I've taken away is, if you put in the work to make the life you want then in the end it will be the life you deserve."
Pausing you looked down at your speech for what to say next but as you scanned the following words you decided that what you wrote wasn't what you were going to say. Flipping the paper with your speech over you now look at a blank page. You weren't going to say what you wrote, you were going to say what you felt and what you actually knew. Looking back up once more with a new surge of confidence you continued,
"Life is a series of moments in time and in each moment you have to make a choice. Some choices will be irrelevant, like choosing to have a jelly donut or a glazed one while some will be everlasting like exploring your curiosity against the wishes of others. Some choices may be easy, like deciding to dance with someone while others will be difficult, like fighting against what you know is wrong even if it feels hopeless."
Five's smile widened as you spoke those words. He had read the speech you wrote so many times that he could've recited it himself, but this was not that speech. It wasn't formal, forced, or edited to some arbitrary level of perfection. It was genuine, authentic and most importantly it was you. Five saw as you look into the crowd of students catching each of your friends' eyes before looking back up towards him and his siblings continuing,
"We decide on so many things each and every day. Making new friends, learning new things, becoming role models, finding a family, falling in love, and for some of us even saving the world. We all make these choices and they shape who we are and what we get out of life."
Taking a side glance at his siblings, Five could see Diego beginning to cry and Grace who had finally changed up enough to function properly trying to comfort him while Luther patted Diego on the back. And as Allison and Viktor rested their heads on each other listening to your speech, Klaus threw an arm around Ben who didn't push him away. They might be a dysfunctional family but they were a family nonetheless and every time in the end they would be there for each other. Focusing on you once more he saw the pride in your face as you spoke,
"As you move through your next moments of life, retain the knowledge you have gained from prior experiences, good and bad, and let them motivate you. Surround yourselves with people who support you because even in the midst of conflict and despair they'll be by your side. And keep your heart filled with love because even the most daunting of tasks can be overcome when you love with all your being. Congrats to the graduating class of 2019. We did it!"
_________
September 1st, 2019:
It had been five months since the Umbrella Academy had come crashing down, reduced to piles of rubble and dust. But like a phoenix rising from the ash, something new was reborn in its place. Just like Ben had said, a chunk of his inheritance was put towards financing, not just a new building where the academy once stood, but a new home. A real home for all of you and for anyone else you all decided to bring into your chaotic lives. The relative floor plan of the building was the same but you and the Hargreeves, with the help of a building planner and interior designer that Allison had hired, all worked together to design a space that was to your liking. It had an extensive library, state-of-the-art kitchen, massive home gym, a beautiful outdoor courtyard, and a fully stocked bar, among so many other practical and fun amenities. This house would be everything the academy wasn't. It would be bright, welcoming, and full of life. It had taken multiple construction crews working around the clock for months to build this place for you to live but after all that time the best part had finally arrived as today was move-in day.
Most of the furniture and necessary elements for the house were already in place and so today was just about bringing in everyone's personal stuff and putting final touches on people's bedrooms. 
Which included that of your friends. 
You and your friends had already planned on trying to get a place together if you all got into the same college. But as the new building was being constructed you thought to yourself why put time and money into finding a place to live together when your college would only be a 40-minute drive from the new building. It certainly had the rooms and empty space to accommodate six more people living in it and the Hargreeves and your friends had all started blending together nicely so why not have them move in? You had pitched the idea to the Hargreeves and without a shadow of a doubt, they were all on board. And so now today everyone would finally be settling into their new home. 
Luther and Lucas took on the task of carrying more of the larger and heavier boxes inside with Diego and Dean quickly following suit to prove how strong and capable they were. It was odd that they were taking the stairs though since everyone else, including Luther and Lucas, were using the elevator. Instead of carrying boxes themselves, Kenny and Klaus relegated their belongings to some ghosts haunting the property that Klaus used his powers to control while Ben, who had gained more control of his powers through support and training, used his tentacles to carry Bren's boxes to his room.
And while everyone else was bringing their stuff in, you stood in the parlor with a giant picture frame in your hands as you looked at the empty space above the fireplace. For years that spot was filled with a dismal painting of your beloved Five, but now in this new home, you were going to put something there that matched the joy and vibrancy of this place. Using your powers to hang it above the fireplace, you took a step back and looked at the painting Charlie had made for your birthday of you surrounded by all the people you loved and cared for. It featured everyone living under the roof of this new house and a few who were not around but were still dearly loved. As you looked at the painting you remembered the day you found it. As you were finally looking amongst the items Charlie had packed in the duffle bag he gave you, you found a cardboard tube hiding below some of your clothes. Pulling it out of the bag you opened it up seeing the beautiful work of art that was inside with a note saying,
I hope one day you can finally find a place to hang this up
And find a place you did, in what would be one of the most prominent spots of the house. As you looked at the painting now above the mantelpiece you zoned out as you took in all its little details that Charlie had added in. The colors he used, the smiles on everyone's faces, and the bright tones that filled the painting with warmth and life. It truly was a work of art. 
"You know that painting was always my favorite to do." A voice said behind you pulling you from your trance
You paused for a moment. The voice that spoke felt familiar to you. Slowly you turned around. You looked towards the voice that spoke to you and found an older gentleman standing there. Their hair, a light brown color that faded into shades of gray, was styled off to the side. They wore a nice button-up with the sleeves rolled up to their elbows, with a pair of khakis and loafers. They had wrinkles on their face, many of which were smile lines. And then you saw a very distinct feature. A pair of bright green eyes. There were only three people you ever knew with green eyes. Your boyfriend, Kenny, and
"Charlie?" You questioned
A wide smile appeared on the man's face as he replied,
"Hi (Y/N),"
You couldn't believe it. He was here and he knew you. He remembered who you were but how? You had tried looking him up but there were so many Charles Andersons that it was hard to figure out which was the right one. On top of that, you had one memory syringe left and it was the one that contained Charlie's memories but at some point, it had gone missing. It broke your heart because even if you were able to find the right Charlie you couldn't make him remember you because you didn't have his memories anymore. But now he stood before you as if no time had passed.
"I don't- why are you- how do you-" You started to question without actually finishing any of them
"Yeah, I knew this would be quite the shock," Charlie chuckled
"I- I don't understand." You replied confused
"Ha, well now you know how I felt when you came through that wall," Charlie remarked sarcastically
You rolled your eyes at his comment, your face scrunching with displeasure as you asked annoyed,
"Are you gonna keep mocking my confusion or are you going to elaborate?"
"Oh, there's the (Y/N) I know! I just hope you don't yeet anything at me." Charlie exclaimed
You rolled your eyes once more but this time a smile came to your face. He was exactly the way you remembered him. Going over to him you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a hug to which he reciprocated. For you, it had only been five months since you had said goodbye but for him, it had been decades. And yet being with your friend again it felt like no time had passed and there was no difference in age between the two of you. You were just Charlie and (Y/N). Pulling back from the hug you looked up at your friend as you requested,
"Alright, now tell me how this happened." 
"What happened was a few minutes after you and the Hargreeves had left that electronic's place you were all hiding there was this flash of blue light and then some over-enthusiastic people showed up. A short guy and a tall woman."  Charlie begins to explain
You slowly nodded your head knowing full well who those over-enthusiastic people were. Herb and Dot from the Commission.
"Yup, I know them." You stated flatly
"Well, they kidnapped me." He elaborates "Took me to some building for a bit before dropping me back off inside my house in Texas. Said the weirdest thing before they left though."
"What'd they say?" You asked
"Don't worry about any paradox psychosis, we already eliminated that problem for you?" Charlie replied, his tone quizzical
"Oh." 
You stared up at your Charlie, the shock on your face evident as you realized what they meant even if he didn't. They had killed the Charlie in this timeline so the one that remembered you could exist in it. It was a kind gesture on their part but also very extreme to do.
"Does that mean something?" Charlie questions curious
"Uh, it doesn't matter. Totally minor. Don't worry about it." You waved off before asking "So, uh what happened after?"
"Well, when I was dropped off back home my dad was on his death bed. He wasn't surprised to see me but I sure was surprised to see him. At least like that, y'know?" Charlie continues  "Anyway he gave a half-ass attempt at making up with me and then like a week later died leaving me all of his money and assets."
"You gotta love when they have half-a-heart at the last minute and leave you all their estate." You jokingly commented
"I can assume the same happened to you?"  Charlie said gesturing vaguely to the house
"It was an eight-way split but yeah." You replied
"Well, I see you've put your cash to good use. This place is a lot nicer than when I was here the last time." He commented
You raised a curious eyebrow at him as you repeated,
"The last time?"
"When I had to paint the portrait that was hanging there before," Charlie answered 
Ah yes. Five's old portrait. You had recalled reading a few of the entries in Ben's journal talking about how Charlie was commissioned to paint it but the dots of him already having met the academy long before they actually knew him didn't connect until now. Unsure of exactly what to say, you only replied with,
"I see."
"God, I hated that painting I had to do of Five, looking nothing like him but I couldn't deviate from Reginald's wishes, and Diego kept yelling at Reginald and me to paint you because you were gone too." Charlie ranted "Took everything in me to look at those younger versions of the Hargreeves and pretend I didn't know what would happen or that you'd both be back one day. But at least some of my better work is up there now"
"It's your best work," You complimented with a smile before saying "So what are you now 78? You look really good for your age."
"Well, that's the other thing! Those over-enthusiastic people dropped me off in the wrong time. Instead of going back home in 63' I was dropped back into 83'." Charlie explains "When you first said time travel is a bitch and you will be immensely confused when you come out the other side I didn't quite get it, but when that happened I sure understood what you meant."
You blinked your eyes in confusion for a moment as you did the math in your head. If Charlie had been dropped back into time 20 years later than when he should have, that means he was 20 years younger than he should be.
 "So you're...58 then? Five's age?" You questioned
"Yeah, but your boyfriend definitely looks a lot better at 58 than I do." Charlie joked
"I can assure you, you're pulling off old age better than I did." Another familiar voice comments
Looking at the entrance way, you and Charlie both see Five standing there. A smirk was on his face as he made his way over toward the two of you, before standing at your side and wrapping an arm around your waist. Directing his attention towards Five, Charlie asks,
"So, you've been looking after her, like you promised?"
"I've been trying, but you know how she is." Five remarks playfully
"Oh I sure do," Charlie replies in a similar tone
"Hey! Rude!" You exclaim hitting each of them in the arm
The two of them laugh at you causing you to roll your eyes, but as their laughter subsided you stated,
"The one thing I still don't understand is how did you get here?"
"Your boyfriend found me." Charlie answers
You turned your attention from Charlie to Five, surprise written all over your face as you wondered what in the world Charlie meant by that. Looking at you gently, Five admitted,
"I knew you were having trouble looking for him so all those days while you were at school I was searching for him and then one day I managed to find the right contact information."
"He called me up under the guise of wanting a custom painting but I had already recognized the voice. I just played along for the extra surprise. We met up at a coffee shop nearby and then he stabbed me with a needle which honestly was somehow a great refresher for my memory but hurt. A lot." Charlie added, "But once I recovered from being stabbed unexpectedly we came here."
It took you a moment to realize, but you had never lost the syringe that held Charlie's memories. Five took it so he could give them to Charlie and surprise you. Every day while you were in classes he spent his time looking for Charlie...for you. All this time when you asked what he had done while you were at school and he replied not much, he was hiding all the research he was doing just so at this moment he could make you happy. 
"You did all of that for me?" You asked softly
"Look at all you've done for me." Five responded, "It's the least I could do."
You glanced over at Charlie, who was already beaming at the two of you. He had always liked Five even before he had actually met him because you always had talked about him with so much love. He made you happy and that's all he could ever ask for, for you. 
Looking back towards Five once more, you placed a kiss on his cheek before saying,
"Thank you, love."
It was things like this that made you fall in love with him over and over again. Gently resting your head on his shoulder, the two of you looked towards Charlie who was waiting patiently for your attention again. 
"I see a ring on your finger. You got married?" Five asked
"Yup, 34 years and counting with my Chelly," Charlie stated proudly
"Charlie and Chelly?" You commented, "That's cute."
"It's short for Michelle, but like me, she never really liked her full first name. I've also got a daughter who's 32 now." Charlie added
"What's her name?" You questioned
Charlie's smile widened even more as he answered,
 "Amanda (Y/N) Anderson," 
Tears of joy pricked your eyes and you heard him say that he in part named his daughter after you. It wasn't something you expected but the gesture had touched your heart. You mattered so much to him that he used your name for his child's middle name. You didn't know what to say but you looked at him happily as he continued,
"Y'know a funny thing is her husband took our last name because apparently, Thomas Cumming had been giving him some problems throughout his life. But because of him, I've got two grandkids as well! Four-year-old Connor and two-year-old Lacey. I'd love for you guys to meet them sometime."
Reaching into his pocket Charlie pulled out his wallet showing you and Five a recent picture of his whole family. They all looked so happy together and you were so proud of how far Charlie had come since when you first met him.
"I'm really happy for you Charlie." You comment
"Thanks but I wouldn't have all of this if it wasn't for you." Charlie replies to you before adding to Five "And you too."
"Me?" Five ask confused
"Well yeah, if you didn't drop her in the 60s none of this would've ever happened." Charlie replied before posing "Sure it was all kind of a mess to get here but it worked out in the end didn't it?"
A small smile formed on Five's face as he thought over everything that had happened. It was kind of a mess but Charlie was right. He got everything he could've ever wanted when he was stranded in the apocalypse. He got his family back, a future of possibilities ahead of him, and most importantly a second chance at a life with the girl of his dreams. It all worked out in the end. 
"Yeah, I guess it did." Five quietly said
Looking off into the main foyer, Five saw as his friends and family continued to bring in boxes of stuff into their new home and as much as he loved being by your side, he wanted to go and be a part of that. And anyway you deserved to be able to catch up with Charlie. Looking between the two of you Five stated,
"Well, I'm going to go bring in our boxes and let you two catch up more."
As he started to walk away, you caught his hand bringing his attention back to you. Locking eyes with him you said once more,
"Thank you mon chéri."
"Anything for you ma chérie." He replied
And as he walked away, you took a few steps to stand side by side next to Charlie. There was a peaceful silence between the two of you before Charlie quietly commented,
"Y'know you've got a bright future ahead of you two."
And as you both looked through the parlor doorway, you watched as your boyfriend carried in a box of your shared things into the new house. A smile on his face as he passed his siblings and joked with his friends. And as you saw the joy on everyone's faces and felt the warmth of this new start in your heart there was only one thing to say,
"Yeah. We finally do."
(Part 3 of 3)
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layanasstories · 1 year
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Cause of pain
Part 12
"And what did it look like?" These are the details I need for later. "Why do you want to know?" He asks. "Well, because I have a body to identify later." Actually, I would have liked to say this more appropriately, because his reaction to this is as expected. "Sorry. What?" with big eyes he looks at me. "It's really not that difficult. Look, the FBI doesn't have a clue what you look like. Otherwise they would have shown your mug shot everywhere. Besides, I'm the only one you had close contact with, they know that." I explain and wait a moment. "This is what I am going to do. I'm going to tell them the whole story. That Thomas let me into the group. That you convinced me to help search for Hannah. That she was a friend from before. And she had asked you for help. Probably suspecting you could hack. At first I was a bit reluctant to be in contact with you, but we quickly grew close." I wait to continue talking for a moment to see if he can follow me. "I'm still following you." He confirms.
"Well, after I tell them some details about our theories and findings. Will I tell them that Richy actually wanted to lure me to the mine. But that instead, I convinced Alan to go. I found out that you had also chosen to go and you were already in the mine when Alan finally got there." Now I fell silent, this time not to see if he was still following. But because this is the part that had torn me apart for a year. The thought of it, makes me sad again. "Are you OK?" His caring tone makes me feel the tears come up again. Quickly I wipe my eyes dry with my sleeve. "Yeah, no. I don't know." I answer quickly. "Anyway, I will tell them that after your last message, the mine went up in flames. That I heard nothing from you after that and my worst nightmare came true yesterday. You never left the mine."
Even though I had wiped my eyes dry several times by now, they were streaming freely. "I really thought you were dead, you know. That I would never see you again. It felt like I was going crazy from not knowing." With difficulty, I can say the words out loud. "I'm so sorry. I should never have assumed you'd be over me within no time. I should have let you know something." He uncertainly puts his hand on my knee. "You really were convinced I could forget you so easily?" I shake my head slightly in disbelief "You thought you were in love with me. While the other way around it is just the same.". He remains silent, though his eyes tell me enough. "So that's why I need all those details, you see." I talk on quickly. "Somewhere in the story I tell them that not long before you went to the mine, you called me by a video call. Therefore I know what you were wearing." This is where I stop my explanation.
He cleared his throat a little, to get rid of the lump he was probably feeling. "That's genius. Bizarre, but genius." He blinks his eyes a bit to process what I just had said and then continues "They won't find anything of me, I know they have already started a DNA search. But I beat them to that. The DNA they find will not be linked to... Mark..." he sighs "To spare you the details of that, I'll just say that my name is above Mark's DNA in the systems and visa versa.". "So in other words, they can only rely on my statement?" I complement him. "Yes, that's what it comes down to." He confirms.
It is dark in the bedroom, only a small stream of light from the lamppost in front of the window shimmers past the curtain. Jake had offered that I could sleep in his bed and he would take the sofa. That was about three quarters of an hour ago and I can't get a wink of sleep. Apart from all the details he had told me that go through my head, it feels strange lying here alone. Very quietly, I crawl out of bed and open the door of the room. Looking towards the sofa, I see Jake lying down, with no blankets or anything. His breathing sounds restless and occasionally I see a shiver pass over his body.
I don't know what comes over me, but a huge desire to crawl against him overpowers me. I turn to the bed and carefully pull off the duvet and take it with me to the living room. As quietly as I can, I place the blanket over him and crawl on the sofa to lay next to him. As if we have always done these things, I feel him shift a little to make more room for me and put his arm around me. I wiggle a little to lie more snugly on which he disappears with his face into my neck. "I didn't think I was in love with you, I am still in love with you." He whispers softly against my skin.
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thisismysecondrodeo · 2 years
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"This Means the World to Me" Part 2
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You woke up with only a little bit of a headache and a smile on your face like you had been having an excellent dream. You couldn’t remember the details but all you wanted to do was slip back into it. You had just closed your eyes when you remembered yesterday HAD happened and you shot upright to check the time. 
7 am. Saturday. Thank god you were always an early riser when you’d been drinking. And…two texts from an unknown number. 
Unknown: Looking forward to some good old fashioned American soccer, Y/N? [Link] 😉 - 12:30 am
Unknown: Still down to go? - 15 minutes ago
Jesus you couldn’t believe you had left Jason on read but you had been several drinks past sober at that time of night. You also couldn’t believe Jason had gone to sleep thinking of you and maybe woke up thinking of you too. You thought about teasing him, asking who it was and how they got this number but you knew it was some combination of Sasha and James. Besides it was too early for fooling around, not when everything felt this light and giddy. 
Y/N: Fell asleep trying to decide whether I should support the local team or follow my heart [Picture]. Thoughts?
You sent a picture of the local team jersey on a hanger next to your Roy Kent AFC Richmond jersey
Jason: Wow… not a Lasso fan, huh? Go local we’ll match
You sent a laughing emoji and decided to leave it there before your wit ran out. Besides, “we’ll match” had your hands shaking it was so sweet. You sat your phone down and went to the bathroom, looking at yourself hard in the mirror. It was time to have a little come-to-Jesus moment. 
Were you attracted to Jason? Yes, of course. 
Was he attracted to you? You thought back through the events of last night, his thumb wiping a tear from your cheek, his reaction when you made a flirty joke…you decided it was a maybe. An incredibly unlikely maybe, but not a complete no. 
If he wanted to sleep with you…would you go for it? You weren’t usually one for one night stands, but you had had a couple and this seemed like special circumstances. So…yeah you think you would. 
If he wanted to date you…? You laughed at just the thought. It didn’t seem likely, and it certainly didn’t seem worth it to deny yourself sleeping with the man of your dreams in hopes it became something more. Besides, he was 20 years your senior with 2 kids, it didn’t seem like a romance written in the stars. But still, you couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like, what he would be like as a boyfriend. Jesus, you rolled your eyes at yourself, for all you know he’s a fucking dick. But even as you thought it, you didn’t believe it. He had shown up for you after all. He hadn’t let you down. 
A few hours later you were getting out of your Uber at the stadium, texting Jason that you were here as you walked to find your seat. Of course the seats were excellent, close to the field and the supporter section, but Jason was nowhere to be found. You looked around for James too, assuming of course that this was not a real date and his assistant was probably there, but you shrugged finding yourself alone and took a quick selfie. As soon as you brought your phone down you got a text. 
Jason: Whatcha drinking?
Y/N: Blue moon?
Jason: Coming up! 
You posted your selfie on your instagram story and Willa immediately dm’d you.
Willa: Where’s your husband?!!
You laughed quietly to yourself, but heard footsteps behind you and put your phone away before you could respond. 
“What’s so funny?”
“The fact that I’m here right now I suppose,” you smiled and looked up at him and saw him carrying a whole load of things: Two beers held in one large hand, a container of popcorn tucked under his arm and a paper basket of nachos balanced on top of a paper basket of chicken tenders that he was holding tightly against his chest. “Oh jesus, let me help you,” you rushed to stand up taking a beer and the stack of paper baskets from him as he fell into the seat next to you. “Yeah I mighta over did it,” he chuckled. It was still early so sections were only just beginning to fill in around you. You glanced around again for James when Jason caught your eye. 
“Expecting someone?” His eyes crinkled as he said it, his dimple appearing just on the side of his mustache and you tamped down the overwhelming urge to press your thumb to it. Looking at him directly was difficult, like looking at the sun, but you thought you were getting used to it. 
“Yeah I’ve actually got this hot date…” You smirked at him, ready to lay your cards on the table. 
“Oh yeah? What’s he look like maybe I can help you find him.” 
You looked him over, eyes never leaving his body while you answered, “oh well, he’s about 6 feet tall or so, dark hair, dark eyes, incredibly handsome. Great taste in shoes.” 
Jason chuckled and looked around playfully, “I hate to break it to you, but that could be just about anybody.” 
“Oh no,” you responded with mock seriousness, “see this guy is distinct, he’s got this great mustache…” you laughed. Jason grinned, offering you some popcorn. 
“What about you,” you said, before trying and failing to cram too much popcorn in your mouth. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you watched him watch you. “Got a date?” 
“Oh,” he responded quickly, “I certainly did.” You tried to hold your face steady at the past tense, no sign that you were thinking of anything other than bantering back and forth. “But then I saw you doing your best impression of a chipmunk and decided to ditch her, stick with you instead.” You laughed and nearly choked on a popcorn kernel, chugging your beer to cover your embarrassment as the game began.
You thought it might be awkward with no one to moderate your feelings or to distract when you felt yourself gawking. But you quickly felt at ease next to him, watching the game with true interest. Every once in a while he’d lean over and tell you something he had learned about soccer on Ted Lasso, or comentate on the game but for the most part the two of you just passed snacks back and forth and took it all in. You offered to go get another round of drinks at the half and he argued a little but acquiesced. As soon as you were out of his eyesight you responded to Willa, he was getting snacks!!! Willa sent you a rather inappropriate gif and you were glad you had walked away from Jason before you messaged her. 
Upon your return you saw the camera was moving around the stadium to the audience which was always fun, but a little nervewracking as you realized it would assuredly swing to Jason. Everyone would be pumped to know Ted Lasso was here. You sat back down in your seat and he slung an arm around the back of your chair, not touching your body, but you felt held all the same. It sent a rush of warmth through you that you blamed on the overpriced beer. 
Just as you turned to ask if the stadium knew he was here, there was a familiar Mumford and Sons riff and his face on the big screen. They were playing the Ted Lasso theme. You knew you had just been caught gazing at him adoringly when he pointed up for you to wave and you looked at your own embarrassed face on the massive screen. You thought he might move his arm but he didn’t, left it draped over your chair as he saluted the screen and it finally, finally swung away to the field as play resumed. If Jason felt some sort of way about being publically seen with you, he didn’t say anything. And considering you weren’t a celebrity by any means, no one would assume it was a date anyway, so maybe it was okay if you both relaxed into this a little. 
To put the cherry on top of the already perfect sundae that was your day spent with Jason, the local team won and the spirit of the stadium was palpable. 
“So,” Jason said, “we watched some soccer. Fantastic soccer that it was. But I didn’t really get to ask you any of my burnin’ questions.” 
“Oh, I wasn’t aware you had ‘burnin’ questions’,” you put on his accent hoping to get a smile from him, and you were pleased when it was successful. “I know we just had a shit ton of snacks but how about some dessert? We can walk and talk, I’m an open book.” 
“Sounds great,” he responded, guiding you through the crowd teeming out of the stadium with a gentle hand on your lower back. You clocked it, and catalogued the touch to talk about with Willa later, but you were impressed that his star power was affecting you less. It did still feel romantic, however, so the butterflies in your stomach fluttered just the same. 
You were leading him to an ice cream place a few blocks away and Jason starts in on the questions about writing. Some of them you felt were just him humoring you—after all he was a writer himself—but he assured you that television writing was much different than a novel. He asked detailed questions about your characters and where your ideas came from, and he seemed tickled when you told him about ideas you had that hadn’t made it in the book. 
Conversing over ice cream was easy and thankfully you were much more comfortable meeting his gaze when he locked eyes with you. Talking about your writing transitions into talking about your family and your life and you asked after his. Some of the answers you knew, but you pretended like you didn’t because it was easier that way. You hoped it was easier for him too, that it also felt natural to be strolling aimlessly eating ice cream together like he wasn't a celebrity. Yours coffee, his strawberry. Every once in a while, you snuck in a compliment or told him about your favorite things he’s done, the way his clever humor impacted your writing, but you tried not to overdo it. And every once in a while he got noticed by a stranger and happily stopped for a picture or autograph. 
“I don’t understand autographs,” you said after another stranger walked away from the two of you. You finished your ice cream cone and wiped your hands, and Jason followed suit, quirking an eyebrow at you. 
“You just had a book signing,” he responded with amusement.
You laughed, “I know. That’s what makes it worse. There’s something a little strange about giving someone something they want when you don’t know why they want it, but it's tradition I guess.” 
“Is it that different than a picture?”
“Well yeah, people want a picture with you because you’re hot.” 
He laughed and shrugged, “So you’re saying you don’t want my autograph?”
“I gotta be honest here,” you chuckled, “I do not want your autograph.” 
“Well what if I wanted a picture?”
You stiffened wondering if he was really implying what it sounded like he was implying. Did he think you were hot? Or was he just teasing? It was taking too long for you to respond and you glanced up at him to see him waiting patiently, no hint in his face that he knew how what he said affected you. It was late afternoon now, almost evening and the setting sun made his eyes look almost gold.
“Alright,” you smile at him, "if you insist," not thinking he’d meant it, but he slipped his phone from his pocket and leans back, so both of you fit in the frame the warm light hitting you both. You couldn’t help but think you looked good together, despite the age difference. Your own phone buzzed and you checked it quickly to see Willa invited you to a bar. She wanted to get all the details about Jason with no idea that you were still hanging out with him. You could just imagine the squeals she’d be emitting when she found out. 
“Need to go?”
“Go? I’m your tour guide! I go when you do. How long are you in town?”
“My flight out is tomorrow afternoon.”
“Oh! So what’s your plan for the evening?”
He winked at you. “You’re the tour guide.”
“Well my friend Willa invited me for drinks—”
“Oh, I don’t want to hold you. I can entertain mys—”
“I was going to ask if you wanted to come with? I know being a celebrity probably makes shit hard, so if that’s not your scene I totally get it. But I can tell my friends not to be weird.” 
“I’d love to meet your not weird friends,” he smiled at you. 
You laughed at and lead the way.
AN: I promise its only going to get sexier from here (thought I've never written smut so we're probably talking a teen rating but I'll do my best haha) Also I've never seen this laughing JS gif before, if anyone knows where its from let me know! And seriously, thanks to anyone who reads my JS brainrot it makes me feel like I'm not alone in this obsession <3
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chellyfishing · 4 months
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ho ho holy shit it’s the end of the year and that means it’s time for you guessed it my reading year in review.
instead of “read more than last year” my goal this year was “read at least one non-fiction book” and not only did i do that, not only did i read FOUR of them, i still also read more than last year!
(btw i am on storygraph if any of you are also on storygraph)
in january i read that there uh locked tomb series by tamsyn muir. thinking that it was a trilogy and then finding out no i actually have to suffer like the peasants for the conclusion. anyway it was fine and definitely hasn’t taken up at least 40% of my brain at all times ever since. it’s a very normal series i had a normal reaction to and you should read it, it’ll be fine.
i also read volumes 7 and 8 of spy x family by endo tatsuya. 7 is around where the anime stops and i watched it at the end of last year so. i finally just picked up 9 and 10 but i’m saving them as treat for surviving to the new year. anyway it’s good. i generally avoid graphic formats because my brain is just not good at processing images properly, especially when it’s all in black and white, but this was pretty easy for me to read. it’s a good time, recommend.
in february i read witchlings by claribel ortega. this is a middle grade book so the depth and style aren’t exactly for me, but it was very very cute and fun, with a diverse and lovable cast, and i would definitely recommend this to kids age idk 7-ish to 12-ish. that genre of child. a good magical book series to read instead of. you know. i’d be interested to continue the series as well, i think especially if ortega has the books mature with the readership she could really have something special here.
confession i really like to listen to people tell me stories (horrorbabble my beloved) and since i finally got a new library card this year (two actually now!) i can just get audiobooks and listen to them whenever i want. so in april first i listened to we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson, which as you may or may not know is one of my favorite books of all time. i wanted to experience the story again and i didn’t want to just watch the film (it’s fine, honestly, it just lacks a lot of what i find really captivating about the book) so i put this on while i was doing other things. great book, great author, and i have no complaints whatsoever with the audiobook performance.
i also listened to james and the giant peach. this is my favorite roald dahl book and the audiobook is only about three hours. the narrator had incredible energy, exactly what you’d want from someone reading a children’s book.
in june i read the first nonfiction book, sex ed by ruby rare. this is a very accessible and inclusive book about… no. i shan’t say. everything is spoken about in frank terms and rare has a very personable voice and style. it’s also illustrated!
my next nonfiction book was in august, when i finally got to read i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. you probably don’t need me to tell you that this book is SO!! GOOD!! an incredible and important piece of art. jennette is so heartbreakingly honest and real here. i spent the whole book just wanting this child, then woman, to be okay. i am so happy she has turned the page on a new chapter in her life and has been able both to follow her real dreams of writing and gain some catharsis in the process. trigger warnings especially for abuse, including sexual abuse, including to a child, including by a parent, and eating disorders. she does not shy away from the ugliness of her experiences so please be prepared for that. it is very heavy at points.
after i finished that book i was just skimming through libby even though i already own [redacted] unread books and anyway on a whim i picked up a book called a door in the dark by scott reintgen. i decided to give it a shot because the main complaints were slow first half (that’s fine) and “unlikeable main character” (a woman with questionable morality). it was pretty good! the high point for me was the main character, in fact. i don’t really want to spoil anything so i won’t go into details but it definitely toys with your expectations in ways i appreciate. looking forward to more in the series!
i finished out august with they were here before us by eric larocca. this is only my second book by larocca (you’ve lost a lot of blood was my last book of 2022) but honestly i already knew i would read anything by them. this book is kind of a collection of short stories but they all have a theme that ties them together and are meant to be read in order. i love his prose, I love his weird imagination and imagery. this is exactly the kind of “unsettling and weird” that i will eat up. easily a new favorite author of mine. (their books are not for everyone, i hasten to add. they are very much for certain tastes. warnings in this book for some mild body horror as well as animal and child death.)
oh just kidding i forgot i read two books that day. the real last book i read in august was after they came by tom kavanagh. it is not a plot twist that this is a story about someone (a teenage girl specifically) living with paranoid schizophrenia, which i believe kavanagh also has. it’s clear this is a very personal story to him, and the horror comes not from the delusions or behavior this girl is having but from knowing she is trapped in them, scared and effectively alone. it’s very heartfelt.
in september i read a couple of shorter works. the first one was “undercover” by tamsyn muir, which is part of amazon’s “into shadow” series of short horror stories. being only about sixty pages this is nowhere near the ballpark of locked tomb’s twisting density but it still really draws you in. it’s a good time.
the other was the novella sour candy by kealan burke patrick. let me start off by saying! this is a grim one. there’s no real catharsis here. it’s just down, down, oh look we can go even further down. i guess it’s not my preferred type of horror, but it was still a good read.
in september i also read a full-length novel, sawkill girls by claire legrand. this is unfortunately my “worst book” of the year but even then it’s completely relative, most of the rest of my reading was bangers. i guess it’s not really what i was hoping it would be. it went places i thought were a bit… idk. i don’t want to say silly, exactly, but it didn’t quite work for me. i think that’s it really, it just wasn’t what i wanted, and what it was wasn’t really for me. important tho: there is sapphic rep and ace rep in here, asexuality in particular being addressed by name, so if you want more of those things, you could do a lot worse than this.
my third nonfiction read was in november and it was the woman in me by britney spears. i decided to crack this open and hopefully read it over the last couple days before my library hold ran out and i ended up devouring it in one sitting instead. like the other memoir on this list, this is a tough read. you will get angry, you will get furious, you will get sad. most people do not come out of this looking good at all and i am so glad brit and her ghostwriter decided to pull no punches. again check the trigger warnings, there’s a lot of abuse of a person with mental illness here, including forced institutionalization and of course the extremely unethical conservatorship. there’s also discussion of an abortion that was difficult and not especially wanted. i’m so so so so glad that she is free to live her life and speak her truth and i hope she gets to live happily with her boys and her man forever.
another book i read in one sitting was exit, pursued by a bear by ek johnston. i found this awhile back when i was looking for modern shakespeare retellings, specifically for one of a midsummer night’s dream, though as you can probably guess from the title this is actually inspired by the winter’s tale. so, there’s no getting around that this book is about sexual assault. it’s very blunt and frank about it, though the assault is not described, only the events leading up and the aftermath. weirdly, i would describe this as something of a slice of life more than a “message” book. this is the story of a seventeen-year-old girl getting on with her life after being drugged and raped. it’s primarily about her recovery especially through her relationships with friends, family, and others. it contains episodes of her triggers (the song that was playing just before she blacked out being a big one) but is primarily about her fighting desperately with everything she has not to let it dictate her life. warnings aside from sexual assault include discussions of forced pregnancy and abortion.
so, i’ve been wanting to read katzenjammer by francesca zappia for quite awhile now, but the price will not drop and the library down the street doesn’t have it. but then i got a card at another branch and voilà! let me warn you now that this is a sad book. it does not have a happy ending. i was warned it was sad going in and i was still not prepared to be absolutely gutted on a spit by it. i figured out what was going on about a fifth of the way from the end and just. cried from that point on. bawled my eyes out. might cry again now. so good, for the record, zappia has an undeniable way with prose and imagery, and there are sketched drawings throughout to shape her vision. i cannot give proper content warnings without dropping a major spoiler, so it will be up to you to decide how you need to approach this book if you want to. i will say that it is NOT sexual assault, though there is quite a bit of bullying that at points can feel a bit threatening in that regard, if that makes sense. i recommend it if idk you have tastes similar to mine (again, i did love it) and are willing to just be really fucking sad for a few hours.
i got a couple more library books in december. the first was my fourth and final nonfiction book of the year, another memoir, counting the cost, by jill duggar (dillard), her husband derick, and a credited professional writer, craig borlase. i have way too many words that i feel should be said about this book for one bullet point. i think it’s important to remember that jill and derick are still conservatives with some toxic and very harmful values, but jill has done incredible work deconstructing and derick has been a phenomenal husband to her. this book feels… unfinished though. it’s clear there’s still a lot that jill has not come to terms with. i hope that she can continue to grow and find peace. and i hope that others who are escaping fundamentalism can feel seen by this.
i took a break from my other library book (below) bc i just really wanted something i knew would be light and fun and easy to read, so i turned to ship wrecked by olivia dade. this is the third book in a series, the first two of which (spoiler alert and all the feels) i read last year. each one is about a couple with one (or two in this case) actors from a fictional show that is… i mean it’s game of thrones but make it greek myth. she doesn’t even try to hide it, it’s game of thrones. the thing that drew me to the series, aside from the fact that it just sounded like fun, is that all the main ladies (and in this case the man as well) are fat. as for this book, i think it’s probably my least favorite of the three. the fmc maria is pretty great but the mmc peter is easily my least favorite of the three male leads. dade doesn’t write toxic men, let me add, and all three books are dual pov so you really get to know both characters, but he just wasn’t it for me. i wish that the other characters got more screen time, especially since the books are not that short, but dade prefers to really dig into the psyches of her leads, unpacking their baggage and traumas to build healthy relationships, and i do appreciate that. downside is that there is not much diversity, other than her three ladies are each different kinds of fat (and don’t get me wrong, i love that and want to see more of it). this book has a lot of background queerness though so that was nice to see. i wonder if she intends to write a book about the wlw couple from the show, but i don’t know since afaik neither of those ladies are plus size. i’d read it, or really anything else she decides to do with this world.
the other library book i read from this batch was leech by hiron ennes. people describe this as a weird book but honestly if anything it could have been weirder. i went in without knowing a thing about it besides, like, taz blurbed it shut UP i doNOT HAVE a proBLEM. quick sketch this takes place in a very post-apocalyptic world and is about a doctor going to a remote isolated northern region during winter. yep, that’s all that it’s about. content warnings for body horror, both of the icky kind and the psychological kind, miscarriages, infant/child death, violence, and discussions of grooming and sexual abuse. it’s not really about those things (except the body horror) and when it comes up it’s generally less than a page at a time, but like. it’s all there and you should be careful. i would say it’s more about identity and autonomy and what it costs to break free. and body horror.
i read the burglar in the closet by lawrence block. i came across this book because one of my booktubers put it on his best of 2023 list and it sounded fun. and it was! it’s actually from 1978 and the second book in a series but i didn’t read the first book and was fine. there’s quite a bit of sexism but the amount and the framing of it didn’t make it impossible to enjoy this book. the narrator has such a strong voice and there are some genuine laughs to be had. plus, the ending surprised me! it was well-crafted! it’s a quick read and i’m pleased i took a little detour through it.
and the last book i’ll probably finish in 2023 (who knows!) is maeve fly by cj leede. i literally just now finished it and have to sit with it before i give it a proper rating and all that. there were times i wasn’t sure how i felt about this book. the narrator has such strong nlog edgelord energy but in her defense, she is literally a serial killer (i don’t think this is a spoiler tho it does take her a minute to say on page that she has killed). there are a lot of lines that had me rolling my eyes a bit, mostly because they were always the lines that were marked as frequently highlighted, like yeah, predictable. but there are also a lot of moments of genuinely beautiful prose, and a kind of macabre humor over it all. things really go off the rails in the last 20-25% or so but that was definitely my favorite part. technically i’ve seen this book classed as on the milder end of extreme horror, basically just be aware that there is a lot of very, very graphic violence. but the thing is, i read this book primarily as a metaphor, tho i’m not sure how much the author meant it as one. the ending makes me think perhaps she did. and honestly, framing it that way, maeve is actually… painfully relatable. why do i feel like i just got put on a watchlist somewhere. uhh, i could go on about it a lot, but you don’t care, you don’t intend to read this book. plus it’s more important that i mention that this book takes place in los angeles, except the parts that are in anaheim, because maeve plays princess E— at D— (never named but not at all obfuscated). the author does treat anaheim like it’s part of LA and i KNOW I KNOW it doesn’t matter TO YOU but the main thing i kept thinking was, wow i bet that commute is a bitch. i actually really liked the D— stuff because it’s all a bit inside baseball, employees and anaheim residents will capital K Know. there were also some really great descriptions of LA, and it just was nice to read someone put to words what the actual appeal of living around here is. it’s difficult to explain because people always come in with so many preconceived notions. as mandy moore put it, it’s a city of open doors. (lmao i just saw grady hendrix blurbed this as “anaheim psycho.” chef’s kiss.)
anyway i could easily finish something else if i set my mind to it but i kinda wanna maybe crack into something a bit longer. those last two were both under 300 pages, and even leech is not that much over it. or maybe i’ll just let myself disappear into bg3 until the new year.
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dnallohleoj · 5 months
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guys I'm really trying, I swear, I'm actually trying to have fun with Grand Theft Auto V but it's just a worse Saint's Row in every way that matters.
The story pacing is atrocious, first and foremost. I was at something like 12 hours in before I even got to the PREP for the tutorial heist, and that's due in large part to them copying my least favorite thing about Skryim - side quests are given the exact same level of priority as main story quests, so it's been hard to figure out what's actually important. Compare to Saint's Row, where things don't really slow down until after you've been shown all the important gameplay mechanics and understand the core play loop(s).
Second, the thing that I hear most people praising the game for is the ability to cause mayhem in the streets. But not only is it actually harder to start shit that leads to interesting chain reactions, it's far less rewarding, because unless a cop actually SEES you kill someone or cause property damage, or you're willing to stick around for a LONG time after causing problems, it's basically impossible to raise notoriety outside of missions.
And speaking of missions, that's basically the only way you see any action. There's no rival gangs roaming the streets, ready to fight on sight. Even though there SHOULD be after one of Franklin's companions decided to start shit with a rival gang before you even meet Michael. Compare to any Saint's Row where there are rival gangs who want you dead before you even understand the dynamics surrounding them.
But even if there WERE combat all over the place, what good would it be when LITERALLY EVERY ENEMY IS ONE-SHOT??? At first I thought I was just unreasonably good with headshots, but then I figured out that most people still went down in one hit if I shot them in the foot. It really makes the game's cover mechanics feel irrelevant, and really trivializes Trevor's special ability. I've taken far more damage from accidentally setting myself on fire or being launched off a bike than I have from enemy gunfire.
On a separate note, I'll believe people when they tell me GTA did the whole immature/satirical humor thing first, but Saint's Row definitely did it better, and involved it in far more of the game.
GTA V just overall seemed to focus on quantity over quality. And clearly that works for most people out there, but I've played the game now, and I see what all the fuss is about. Just like with The Last of Us and Uncharted, I'm seriously disappointed in you all and have no faith in your taste in games if you think this is any kind of masterpiece.
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kratomkittycat · 2 years
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I made this post last week, because I had taken too much kratom extract and well… this happened. I became very out of it, but it ended up wearing off and I ended up being fine.
The next day, I took 3 Premium Kratom shots, spread out over the course of like 3 hours, and felt nothing. My tolerance had gotten really high, my typical dose was 2 Premium Kratom shots + 2 MIT Go Black Extra Strength packets.
The day after that, around 1 in the afternoon, I took the equivalent of 15 grams of kratom (in the form of k-shots.
That night, after they wore off, I wanted to re-dose. But the second dose of the day never works, no matter how much I take. I thought about the countless times I’ve asked on the internet how to make it work, because other people take kratom 5 times a day and it still works and it’s not fair. I thought about how those posts were always met with downvotes and preaching about how I shouldn’t do it. I thought about how Shanna never had any reaction to my level of drug use, but when I told her about how I want to be like Kody who used multiple drugs multiple times a day, she all of a sudden had this HUGE shocked horrified reaction and went on and on about how damaging it would be if I did that.
I was filled with absolute rage that I could not do it no matter how hard I tried, so I thought, “I’ll just try harder and show these people that I CAN do this and that I am not their property and they can’t protect/control me!!” So I took the equivalent of 12 grams of kratom in k-shots immediately after downed an MIT 45 bottle that said 5 servings per bottle.
I felt absolutely nothing. So then I decided to go to bed. But right before I went to bed, I got dizzy, my stomach hurt, I went upstairs and felt like I couldn’t even change to my pajamas so I lied down and my heart started pounding.
I called poison control and told them how much I took and the effects I felt. They told me that I need to go to the hospital. I did not go to the hospital.
I woke up the next morning perfectly fine, and decided to take a long break from kratom. But then as the day went on, I missed the way it made me feel when it felt good more and more. I took it that night, and started using daily again.
Tuesday of this week was an especially rough day. Since the moment I woke up and said “no kratom today,” I felt absolutely emotionally miserable. It helped that I made the posts on here to talk about what was making me miserable (my trauma), but I was still miserable. But I did make it through the entire day without kratom extract (because my sister told me she couldn’t bring me to buy any til Thursday and I only had one dose left). I decided that I never want to put myself through that again and have been using once daily ever since, even after finding out that I will be getting drug tested soon.
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whatdoesshedotothem · 2 years
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x Saturday 2 June 1832
9 ¾
12 35
fine morning F61° at 9 ¾ - incurred a cross just before getting up thinking of Mrs Milne tho’ despising her - down at 10 25 - hurried to see Mr Cobb - George had had a quiet night and shewed some sign of consciousness this morning in opening his mouth when desired by Mr Cobb - no fever as yet - but impossible to calculate the effects of reaction to say he is out of danger yet - Mr Cobb or his son (who slept here last night) will him again today - 16 oz. of blood taken from the arm yesterday night lose 5 oz. before getting home and the 24 leeches might take 8 or 10 oz. - the poor fellow looks more himself this morning - seems asleep - is to be kept very quiet - very kind joint letter from Mr and Mrs Duffin glad to see me at all times - beg me to fix a day - do not go to Acomb till Whitsun Tuesday - skimmed over my Times newspaper - came upstairs at 11 50 - in 1 ¾ hour till 2 35 wrote 3 pages and one end and ½ the other small and close to M- mention and explanation of George’s accident - and that Mrs M- and I got on very well together  - my persuasion that she and CN- etc etc think I know all about the proposal to Louisa explain how I turned them off this idea by talking of Lou’s formality I should never have thought of her but might of Eliza if not married -  Own that M- repeated to me some observations of Mrs M-‘s on my style of conversation ‘I only mention this, that, in case anything of this sort should be hinted at (tho’ I suspect it will not) you may merely declare that you have never told me anything without a very sufficiently good reason, nor anything which you did not feel it your duty to tell me as a friend - keep to this - Mrs Milne, at least, will understand you. In days of yore, I praised
SH:7/ML/E/15/0076
 you to her - I have done it again even more effectively - stand firmly on your own high ground assured that you are, and can be, only raised in the estimation of everyone in proportion as that one who has known you best is led by circumstances of any kind to speak of you with unreserve that I have descended a little in your scale of interests, is doubtless, as it will be believed by everyone who knows us, not your fault, but mine - a belief that must be confirmed in the minds of all who see or even suspect the bitterness of my own disappointment and regret. I only hope that amid all your changes of plan, your visit to York will not be prevented. I should really grieve over your mother’s disappointment’ - recommended from us all Geranium (a sort of bright [?] colour) for your light-blue-walled saloon - tabourette [tabouret], says Mrs N-, with a satin stripe - wide 7/. or 8/. a yard - narrow 4/. or 5/. a yard - to be had all colours from Manchester - like the sitting room curtains here - then wrote 3 pages and ends and under the seal to my aunt - account of George almost the same, as it to M-, but modified and rather enlarged - promise to write again by Monday’s or Tuesday’s post - then having just said that I should see John’s son and give him the one pound my aunt to give out the gig-sale and lend him what more might be necessary, the boy came - gave him a good sermon upon conduct etc and finished by giving him in his name £1 and 25/. more as a last gift from myself telling him he must do for himself in future and never want another shilling from his father or me - he has 6 guineas a year - out of which pays a guinea a year for washing - 1st ½ due the 9th of this month - he seems likely to do well and, as I told my aunt looks really much improved in his new clothes - then having had Charlotte for a little while before the boy came had Mrs N- afterwards - sent off by the keeper at 3 ¾ my letter to my aunt ‘Shibden Hall H-x’  and to M- ‘Lawton Hall, Lawton Cheshire’ – CN- and I agreed to walk after dinner and then dress afterwards - Dinner at 4 ¼ - coffee and then CN and I out at 6 for 1 ¼ hour - went into the little wood and saw the tree in which poor George was shot - then sauntered in the fields and in the village - dressed - tea at 8 10 - Mr Charles Cobb - came - thinks George quite as well as could be expected but still in a very precarious state - put a blister on the nape of his neck - asked what opening medicine he had been taking - powders calomel and another purgative which I got him to say was Epsom salts i.e. with senna in a draught which draught was given every 3 hours will the medicine operated - which it did before and after Mr Charles Cobbs being here the pewter bed pan being left in the bed he had clean sheets and was made quite comfortable this after soon begged Mr Charles Cobb to stay here all night if he thought there was the least occasion but he thought not - no bad symptom and if there was any nothing could be done - bleeding could not be necessary again tonight - if he snored (without being asleep) it was all over CN- and I had examined his hat 16 or 18 shot had entered it - of the 5 or 6 that had entered his head, none of any consequence but that that had entered by the eye - and so small a substance could only have produced so great an effect by heaving wounded some of the small arteries of the brain - read a few pages of volume 1 Mrs Jameson’s memories of female sovereigns - she says women are not fit to rule all the instances we have of their sovereignty prove this wrote the last 14 lines till 11 ¾ p.m. at which hour F62° - fine day -
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skiller0dani · 3 years
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Broken Paradise | Spencer Reid
M A S T E R L I S T Criminal Minds Masterlist
smut requests info wc | 9.1k summary | you run into an ex boyfriend during an interrogation. except it's you being interrogated, and it's your ex boyfriend doing the interrogating.
song
another draft just waiting to be published. really obsessing over Spencer Reid.
also there's mentions of abortion, nothing graphic it's literally just a short direct reference and nothing else.
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You always hear people say your past will come back to haunt you, you just didn't know they meant literally. You leaned back against the metal chair in the interrogation room, you've been in here for what felt like hours. You couldn't complain too much seeing as it's your fault that you're in here at all. You wished they'd come in and tell you something, give you an update, say hi, say anything. You seriously underestimated how maddening silence can be. You knew little about the murders the police were investigating, something about druggie women being found mutilated. The pictures they showed you were downright horrifying, you'd need at least one solid bottle of tequila to forget the bodies of those poor women.
The Las Vegas Police Department were a bunch of judgmental pigs, the only reason they'd brought you here at all was because you were from the wrong side of the tracks. Both of your parents were users, and if you were lucky, also dead. They probably assumed you used as well, and seeing as you seemed to fit the killers physical preference the police brought you in for questioning and also for your own "safety". But really you knew they didn't give a damn about your safety, they just wanted to know where you got your shit from. No matter how many times you insisted you didn't use, they kept pushing. When one male officer started throwing your parents in your face, you stood up and promptly broke his nose. That's how you landed yourself cuffed to the table, tightly.
"Oh thank you so much for gracing me with your presence once more." You smiled sarcastically as another officer walked in, wait he's definitely not an officer. The man who entered the room had cleanly cut dark hair, and wore an expensive looking black suit. Not the run of the mill beat cop that you were expecting. You bit back any other fiery remarks, if you wanted to get the hell out of here you needed to cooperate. Diana would be expecting you, not that you were itching to see her but after letter number 75 of her begging you to swing by- well lets just say that Spencer's mother was never the problem. You doubt Spencer even knew Diana was contacting you, which was good. You wanted nothing at all to do with him.
"I'm Agent Hotchner here with the FBI I need to ask you a few questions." This man was all business, you seriously had to fight the urge to fuck with him a little bit.
"I'd shake your hand but..." Your eyes flickered towards the table, where the police officer who's nose you broke had very tightly handcuffed you. In fact he cuffed you so tightly that your wrists were already raw and bleeding a bit.
"They wouldn't have handcuffed you if you didn't punch an officer. Did he hit a nerve?" The Agent's face was level, and gave nothing away as to what he was thinking. You tongued the inside of your cheek, your foot tapping quickly on the concrete floor. These assholes were really starting to piss you off.
"He was being a dick, how many times do I have to tell you guys that I don't use? Are your heads filled with sawdust?" You snapped roughly, yanking away from him to lean back in your chair despite the biting pain in your wrists.
"That's not why I'm here Miss Y/L/N." Agent Hotchner said, his voice even and his eyes on you. The way he was looking at you made you feel exposed, like he could read all of your secrets because of the way your eye twitches when you're nervous. You hate these damn FBI profilers- wait.
"How's Spencer?" It's a shot in the dark, a very long shot in a very dark tunnel. Before the scumbag left you without warning, Spencer mentioned that someone was trying to recruit him for the BAU department of the FBI. The profilers. Spencer left and never came back, two guesses as to where he went. Your eyes locked onto the Agent's in front of you, and from the slight upturn at the corner of his brow you knew you got him. Spencer is here.
"You know Dr. Reid?"
"So he's a Doctor now, doesn't surprise me. Let me guess, he has PHD's and Doctorates in Math, Chemistry and something to do with Geography right?" You say as casually as you can and you can only hope this man is wondering how you happen to know so much about one of his Agents.
"Unless I'm speaking to Spencer Reid, I want my lawyer." You snap, leaning back. You know Spencer won't talk to you, and unless they have physical proof you're guilty of something they'll have to let you go.
Check mate.
//
Spencer couldn't ignore the questioning glances from his fellow teammates even if he'd wanted to. He watched you lean back in your chair from the other side of the one way glass, what are the chances that you are wrapped up in this case? You of all young petite blonde women in the metro area. The world was fucking with him, it had to be.
"She a friend of yours?" Derek's voice was the first to cut through the silence.
"No." One word answers were the safest route, the shortest diction would give little time for them to draw information out of the way Spencer was speaking. There was a tremble in his tone, he knew there was. Spencer prided himself for having little to no baggage behind him, but of all unopened suitcases- his previous relationship with you was the largest one.
"Really? Cause she seems to know a lot about you." Derek said, his eyes fixed on Spencer. The tension in the room was palpable, and suddenly it felt hard for Spencer to breathe let alone compose himself. After shoving free from the small viewing room, Spencer found it a lot easier to exist without the scrutinizing gazes of his coworkers.
"You hear her?" It was Hotch, with a patiently guarded expression on his face. Spencer and drugs wasn't an uncommon problem, although in the past his poison of choice was dilaudid. Now there's a string of drug related murders and a possible junky who seems to know a lot about him.
"Yeah, from before the Bureau." Spencer clarified quickly, and Hotch honestly looked the tiniest bit relieved.
"Think you could talk to her, she's made it obvious she won't talk to any of us." Hotch said, and from the tension building in Spencer's shoulders he can tell there's some bad blood between the two of you. Spencer took a deep breath before taking all of those unresolved emotions and forcefully shoving them down. Deep, deep down. It's time to do a job, there's a missing woman who needs to be saved.
//
When that door opened again, you thought you'd won. You thought they were coming to begrudgingly release you. Instead you were met by the big doey eyes of Spencer Reid, your first and last love. All the air was stolen from your lungs in an instant, the memories flood back and you can't stop them. The anger rises then, this is the first time you've seen him since he left you. The one person you trusted not to leave you did, he left like everyone leaves you. Like your parents left you. He's very clearly all business, his face hardly giving anything away as he swiftly reached down to unlock the handcuffs around your wrists. If you wanted to walk away from this without your heart getting broken you needed the upper hand.
"Heya baby." You smiled, you hoped that maybe it would disarm him. At least a little, but when you looked at him all you saw was a stoic and focused expression. Nothing? Really?
"I need to ask you a few questions Miss Y/L/N." Spencer's voice was controlled, even in tone. His voice... God his voice could bring you right to tears. You could still hear him saying how much he loved you with that stupidly angelic voice of his. Spencer was very quickly taking control of the situation and you did not like that at all.
"You know you can ask me anything, there's no secrets between us right Spence?" You leaned forward on your elbows, trying desperately to ignore the throbbing in your wrists. One of Spencer's biggest giveaways is eye contact, when he's upset or feels guilty he'll avoid looking into your eyes. You turn your gaze up to meet his, but once again you're completely disarmed to see him unabashedly looking into your eyes like it isn't a problem at all. Either Spencer has amnesia and forgot who you were, or what happened between you two doesn't hurt him like it hurts you. You refuse to believe it's the latter, he just forgot. Definitely forgot. Somehow he must have forgot.
"Nina Fredricks, have you ever seen her?" He slid a photo in front of you, you recognize her as the woman who was most recently kidnapped. Most recently being 12 hours ago so chances of her still being alive are unfortunately slim. You nibble on your lower lip, come to think of it you actually might have seen her.
"Yeah, saw her at Winchell's, little coffee shop on the corner of 5th? You remember right Spence? You used take me there all the time, I loved giving you head under the table." You smirk, but it quickly falters. Whatever training he went through must have stripped him of all emotion and turned him into a machine. Built only to solve cases and do nothing else. That wasn't the case however, you just didn't know how good Spencer is at compartmentalizing his emotions. He could only imagine the looks on his coworkers faces upon hearing you say that, at least he can just say you were lying to try and illicit some sort of reaction from him. They don't have to know that you totally used to slip under the table and swallow his cock in a diner full of people. They don't know about that side of him, and Spencer doesn't plan on changing that.
"When?" He presses on with the interview, and surprisingly you're forthcoming with information when you're speaking to Spencer. Even after all this time, he has this annoying power over you. This innate ability to get you to do whatever he wants you to, although you would prefer him to use this special ability in the bedroom. No! No you have to eradicate thoughts like that, Spencer hurt you worse then anyone else ever has. He hurt you worse because he made you think he was going to stay, and then he didn't.
"Few nights ago, she looked really messed up though. Winchell threw her out, definitely doped up on something. Before you ask, no I didn't see where she went." You sigh, finally giving up flashing Spencer the all too familiar 'you win' look. Usually a victorious grin stretches across his face, but not this time. Those times are over.
"Did you see anybody with her?" You're not entirely surprised that Spencer isn't writing any of this down, that stupid eidetic memory. You're fooling yourself if you think he forgot what happened, Spencer never forgets anything. Ever.
"Every detail matters."
You genuinely try to remember if anybody was with Nina, and while you didn't see anyone you remember shortly after she left the diner there was this horrible screeching sound. "After Nina left I heard what sounded like tires screeching on the street. Never saw a car though."
"Thank you Miss Y/L/N, is there anything else you can remember about that night? Anything that sticks out?" After a few moments of quiet contemplation, you shake your head.
"Am I free to go?" You ask quietly and Spencer shakes his head.
"Unfortunately we're going to have to keep you in protective custody. We'll move you to a more comfortable room, but you'll need to stay in the precinct."
"But why? I'm not a drug addict-"
"You are exactly this killers type, and we don't know if looking a certain way is more important or if being a drug addict is when it comes to him choosing his victims." Spencer explains simply, his mouth moving a mile a minute as he stands. When he turns his eyes back on you, you realize he's waiting for you to follow him. You stand and follow him out of the cold interrogation room to a comfier waiting room. It has a table and chairs, vending machine and a big plush couch.
"You can stay in here, we'll let you know when it's safe to go home." Spencer says, and this is when you finally catch the crack in his façade. His eyes flicker away from yours, trying to disguise the waver in his voice, the desperation to vacate the room as quickly as he can. But now that you've seen him break, even a little, you're going to crack him wide open. You won't let it go that easily.
"Spencer?" Your voice is soft, with an innocent drawl that Spencer can't resist. He turns his head to look at you, swallowing thickly when his eyes meet yours.
"You do remember me don't you? Once upon a time we were in love." You see the rest of his coworkers trying and failing to look like they're not listening. But it's not like you care if they do, Spencer will though but luckily his back is to the door. After a few moments of tense silence, he finally speaks.
"Of course." It's not the answer you were hoping for but it's an admission, which is more then you were getting earlier.
"Do you miss me Spencer? Miss me in bed next to you?"
"W-Well I-"
"Do you miss when I used to cook your favorite dinner every night when you came over? Do you miss how I loved you unconditionally?" Your voice was steadily growing more hostile, and you knew there were tears building in your eyes. This has all been building up for so long you know you can't stop it now.
"Y/N-"
"Do you miss being able to fuck me whenever the hell you want? Is that what you miss the most Spencer? You must not miss me that much because when you left I didn't even get a fucking call! You didn't even say goodbye, you just left!" You were yelling now, with tears streaming down your face. Spencer had slyly shut the door by now, he knew this was going to happen the second he saw you. He wished he could help you understand why he had to leave the way he did. He was trying to protect you, and he still firmly believes he's protecting you. Look what happened to Haley, what happened to Maeve. Spencer loved Maeve and he lost her like Hotch lost Haley, and Spencer can't lose you. Not you. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to you.
"Please try to understand-" You never even let him get close to finishing his thought.
"Understand what? Leaving me? You said you loved me! How could you love me and then leave me alone? While I was pregnant!" Your hands flew to your mouth, you honestly never planned on telling him that. Spencer's eyebrows rose high in the air, and you can tell you just knocked the wind out of him. Spencer's hand reached back for the door handle, "pregnant?"
"Spencer I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell you that way." You tried to explain, and despite the fact that he'd abandoned you, you were dead terrified of him leaving again now that he was stood in front of you.
"Do I have a child you never told me about?" His voice is shaky, afraid. Now you can see all his coworkers heavily invested in your conversation.
"N-No, I...I got rid of it." You said softly, watching the mix of emotions swirl across his face. When his trembling palm curls around the door handle you launch forward to grab at his arm.
"I'm sorry, please don't leave. Not again-" But he's pulling his arm free from yours and turning out of the room, nearly slamming the door behind him.
//
Spencer ignored the questions, he ignored the looks. His legs gave out somewhere near one of the couches. He stared ahead numbly, trying to make sense of what you'd just told him. Trying to somehow wrap his head around the terror of you being pregnant and then the grief of the lost possibility all at the same time. By now, JJ and Rossi had shooed everyone away from Spencer. Which he was immensely grateful for, the only thing he wanted now was to be alone. Completely and entirely alone.
Pregnant.
The word kept replaying like a scratched record, screeching in his ears every time he closed his eyes. Spencer pressed the balls of his palms into his eyes when he heard the distinct sound of footsteps approaching him. Whoever it was, he already wished they would go away.
"Damn Kid, I didn't expect you to date such a spitfire." Derek joked as he sat down, doing what he can to ease the tension. Spencer didn't even bother looking up at him, his head stubbornly lowered and his gaze locked on the ground. Derek racked his brain for something adequate to say, but what was there to say? How could Derek find a way to make this right? Spencer just found out you were pregnant with his child and that you'd got an abortion all in the same 10 seconds. It was a lot to process.
"You gotta talk to her Spence." Derek's voice was less humorous this time. Spencer wrung his hands nervously, his eyes finally lifting to meet Derek's. A sharp shake of his head and a flash of the tears in his eyes and Spencer stands, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands. Time to get back to work. Someone has to talk to you, Derek can't stand of someone crying by themselves like that.
"It's not really my place-" JJ tried to argue as Derek stood in front of her.
"Someone needs to talk to her, and Spencer isn't going to." Derek said, rubbing a hand down his face as his eyes flickered back to Spencer. Who was currently throwing himself headfirst into the geographic profile of the killer they're looking for, because maybe if he works hard enough the rest of the entire world will just disappear. Maybe if Spencer keeps working and does nothing else you'll just vanish from that room and he won't have to deal with this. It's not that Spencer wants you to go away, the opposite actually but there isn't room in his life for you anymore. It's not safe. Spencer would rather be alone for the rest of his life then put you in danger because he's lonely and misses you.
"Alright, fine. But only for Spence." JJ says, jabbing a finger in Derek's direction before reluctantly heading towards the room you're in. She glances back at Spencer, who has become consumed by the map in front of him. JJ can always tell when something is bothering him, he has physical giveaways. The way his shoulders are rigid as he scribbles something on the whiteboard, the furrow in his brow that lets her know that while he's working on something, his mind is elsewhere. The tremble in his palm from trying so hard to hold everything back, everything he doesn't want anyone else to see. To someone that doesn't know Spencer, he looks perfectly composed, his attention and focus completely on his work. JJ knows him well enough to know that his mind, and heart are sitting tattered in this waiting room on the couch next to you.
JJ creaks the door open, flashing you a smile that makes you absolutely hate her guts. Spencer probably has some puppy love crush on her, she's beautiful. Long blonde hair, slender body, stunning smile. Everything you're not.
"Hi I'm Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ." The way she's looking at you lets you know that she came in here to try and understand. You're not in the mood to talk to her or anybody else in this stupid building except for Spencer. You want to hate him so bad but you can't. You can't because of how much you fucking love him. The bastard.
"Look I know you're probably not all that excited to talk to me-"
"I want Spencer." You snap, and by the look on her face you can tell she isn't surprised that you said that. JJ chewed on the inside of her cheek, how does she say that Spencer doesn't actually want to talk to you?
"Dr. Reid is needed elsewhere right now, but I'm willing to talk if you need to."
"You don't have to lie Agent Jareau. I know he doesn't want to see me, he's doing that thing where he pretends to work on something while secretly obsessing over something else." You say casually, and the fact that you can pick Spencer apart so easily is somewhat off-putting to JJ. But that could be her unrequited crush on him shining through, deep down JJ doesn't like that some other woman knows Spencer better then she does. While you'd love to sit here and wallow in your misery, a much worse idea strikes you then. If you can't talk to Spencer why not fuck with the woman who's clearly in love with him.
"And the little twitch in his fingers, the slight clench in his jaw. See that? He keeps rolling his shoulders back," while everything you were saying isn't a lie- it's guaranteed to annoy her. JJ stayed quiet, she hated that she didn't know what the goddamn twitch in his fingers meant.
"He's tense, but there's more. He can't stand still, keeps shifting from foot to foot. It's driving you crazy that you don't know why he's doing that." You laugh as her annoyed eyes flash to yours for a second before settling on Spencer again.
"You're a profiler, you can't figure it out? That doesn't surprise me, you've probably never considered the fact that Spencer has an unusually high sex drive." Your words completely stun her, and JJ's cheeks flush profusely.
"It means he's horny." You say casually, leaning back against the couch. You love the blush on her cheeks, and the fact that she's clearly biting her tongue to avoid saying something rude. You love that you got under her skin, and yes you're aware that you're a bad person. Now that you've said it, JJ can't get it out of her damn head. Spencer is horny. Spencer isn't a virgin. The thought of Spencer having sex makes JJ feel a sick turning in her gut. She was happy believing Spencer was a virgin, believing that nobody has gotten to experience that side of him yet. Happy to believe that he was untouched, but apparently that was not the case. Now that the illusion has been shattered, JJ feels as though the jagged pieces of it are cutting into her, and she knows you enjoy watching her bleed.
"Trust me, I know just what to do to relieve the tension, I know how to get him off quick. Do you?" You smile as you let your eyes shamelessly drag down his slender frame.
"You're only saying this because you want to control the conversation, and you hate that I see him everyday. That I can talk to him whenever I want, about whatever I want. You wouldn't lash out if you didn't feel intimidated." JJ says calmly, rendering you just as speechless as she was moments ago. The pain that was sent stabbing into your heart caused you to recoil back from JJ, trying to hide your misty eyes from hers. You can't let her know that she's winning.
"Look, we can both get nasty all we want but that's not why I'm here. I just want to help." JJ says sincerely, but you still don't budge. JJ taps her fingers against the wood of the table, thinking about leverage she can use to get you to talk to her.
"Spencer fell in love again." JJ says finally, and this time you turn your gaze up to look at her. You push your emotions down, no matter how much it hurts to hear her say that. Who is she? Are they still together?
"If you want to know more about her, then I suggest you talk to me. An answer for an answer, fair?" You can see her trying to bait you, and damn her because it's working.
"Fine." You grumble, leaning back fully against the couch. Your eyes catch Spencer's for a second when he turns to face the table, presumably looking for a map you remember being on the right side. You point to the right side of the table and Spencer looks nothing but annoyed when he follows your direction and finds what he's looking for. He hates that he functions better as a person when you're around.
"What's the deal with you and Spence?" JJ asks, and there is a lot to unpack with that question.
"Gonna have to be more specific." You say with a shrug, your eyes hesitantly meeting hers.
"How long were you two together?"
"2 years 8 months." You answer without pausing, causing her eyebrows to raise. JJ didn't expect you to remember down to the month, it's been years since you and Spencer were together. That's not a short fling like JJ originally thought, that's a substantial amount of time.
"What's her name?" You ask, desperate to get information on this mystery woman who has stolen Spencer from you.
"Her name was Maeve." Was. You don't miss how she says was instead of is.
"Why do you hate Spencer?" JJ looked like she cared, but you know it's not you she cares about. She's in here to try and protect Spencer in some way, she's acting like you're the villain.
"I don't hate him. He abandoned me. Just packed up and left, no note, no goodbye. Haven't heard from him since." You snap, hating the amount of emotion that was in your voice. JJ's eyebrows furrow, that's just so unlike Spencer. He's not cruel, he's never been cruel but that...is cruel. You see a look flash across her face.
"Sweet boy isn't as sweet as he seems." You say softly, folding your arms over your chest.
"He must have had a good reason." JJ insists, her eyes landing on Spencer's back as he continues to map out the hunting grounds of the killer. You know he's just wasting time to avoid coming back in here. Spencer is a certifiable super genius, he finished mapping it out a while ago. He's just pretending he hasn't finished yet.
"Spence still with her? Maeve." Her name felt like poison on your tongue, and JJ slowly shook her head.
"She died in front of him, really tore him up." Your heart cracks a little bit at her words, you can't imagine how hard that must have been for him. You see JJ open her mouth to ask something else when the door opens, and a man with darker skin pokes his head in.
"JJ? Reid found him, we gotta go." As soon as he arrived, he's gone with JJ hot on his heels. She sends you a smile before she rushes out of the room, and you see Spencer following her path out. They're going to arrest a murderer who has an arsenal of weapons at his disposal.
"Spencer! Y-You can't go, it's not safe!" You blurt from the doorway, and he pauses. His eyes find yours as he holsters his pistol, an unreadable expression on his face.
"It's my job." And that's all he says before he disappears out of the precinct, leaving you once again.
//
You couldn't quell the anxiety turning in your gut, you're not sure how to exist while Spencer is out there hunting a murderer. You wished that you could turn off the part of your brain that's still so damn attached to him, but no matter how hard you try you can't silence your heart as it calls for him. You're not sure you could survive the constant fear of losing him if you ever ended up with him again, this life is too much for you to take. Maybe he knew that all those years ago when he left you the first time, Spencer always could see right through you. Maybe he left because he knew staying would only lead you to live a life of constant fear, maybe he was trying to protect you. Either way the reasons don't matter anymore because he left, and nothing can change how badly that hurt you.
"Does it normally take this long?" You ask a passing officer, who in turn shrugs before continuing on his path. You feel like you're going to explode or vomit, or both. It's been over 2 hours, should it be taking this long? What if he got shot? What if he's dead right now and you're sitting here with your damn thumb up your ass worrying about him like a useless housewife? Feeling useless, that's what you hate the absolute most. Knowing there's nothing you can do to stop a bullet on it's trajectory to his heart.
"Spence, are you sure you're okay?" You hear a flurry of voices and when his name graces JJ's lips you're pushing out of the room. Your eyes find him instantly, and then travel to his palm which is pressed tightly to his neck. His bleeding neck. You feel your heart rate spike, hammering like the hooves of wild horses as you move without thinking about it. Before you even understand that you've moved, you're stood in front of him. Your eyes try to scan his neck for wounds but his palm covers the location the blood is coming from.
"C'mere." You grab his wrist and yank him back towards where you saw a first aid kit earlier. Luckily your 2 and a half years of nursing school taught you how to stitch a wound and perform basic first aid. Spencer offers no resistance as you yank him to a back corner of the precinct, pushing him to sit down. You grab the first aid kit, slowly prying his hand from his neck. Your eyes mist at the wound, it's a bullet wound. Looks old though, there's scarred tissue. This had to have happened a few weeks ago at least. You see the thin line of the scar, the middle section seems to have opened up again.
"You didn't wait long enough for this to heal." You scold gently, not missing how his eyes watch you with an intensity smoldering in them. You miss the way he used to look at you, the way he's looking at you right now. You miss being the center of his whole world, you scoff. Look how easy it was for him to walk away from you. You threat a needle to stitch the center of his wound shut again, and when you look for numbing cream you discover that there isn't any.
"Spence, there isn't any- I can't find the numbing..." Your voice trails off as you begin to yank things out of the first aid kit to search for the numbing cream. Spencer's hand catches your wrist and it's only just now that you realize you're trembling.
"It's okay. I'll be fine." He settles back against the chair he's sitting in, turning his head to reveal his neck to you. You hesitate, the Spencer you remember had a very low pain threshold. All of a sudden he's expecting you to stitch him up with no numbing agent?
"Y/N, I can handle it." Spencer says again, his voice firmer than before. You swallow a lump in your throat before reaching forward to begin stitching. You press the needle against his neck, eyeing him to gauge his reaction as you puncture his skin to make the first thread. To your surprise he hardly flinches, a small quirk in his lip is the only giveaway that he's in pain. Is this the same man that got squirmy getting a shot? That would shy away from the needle? Now he's sitting here letting you stitch him up without moving a muscle, without even flinching? The more time you spend with him the more proof you get that this isn't the same Spencer that left you all those years ago.
"How did it happen?" You ask, wondering how he could have survived a gunshot to the neck. He shifts uncomfortably.
"Got shot, two inches away from hitting my jugular." Spencer says it so casually, but you're so stunned that you halt your movements for a moment.
"How many times have you been shot?" You ask, your voice hoarse. Is him getting shot a common occurrence?
"Twice. Also got shot in the leg." The casual way Spencer talks about it almost convinces you it isn't a big deal. But it is. It's a bullet ripping through his body, and it's happened to him on two separate occasions. You finish stitching and bandaging him up, your hands moving away from him as soon as you can.
"Thank God you went to nursing school or I'd be six feet under." He jokes. You know he's kidding but still, the thought of it makes you feel lightheaded.
"Don't say stuff like that." You snap softly, and you know Spencer can see the fear and vulnerability in your eyes. You hesitantly steal a glance up at him once he's stood up only to find he's already looking at you. You shy away from his intrusive gaze, and you could practically feel him probing at your mind. Reading your thoughts as if they were written down for him. You hate that he can always tell what you're thinking, you hate that it was so easy for him to read you. Like a damn book. You have to fight the urge to reach out and grab his hand, it's what you always did when you felt lost or unsure. Spencer was always there to ground you and bring your mind back out of your thoughts.
"Miss Y/L/N?" You hear JJ's voice gently interrupt you two. You shoot away from Spencer as though you were doing something scandalous. He doesn't move an inch.
"Yes!" You blurt a little too loudly, suddenly flustered being so close to him. Why does your sharp tongue always leave you when you need it?
"You're clear to go home."
"I can take her." Spencer speaks up before JJ has a chance to offer, and she knew he would. You swallow a nervous lump in your throat, your palms shaking.
//
The SUV has dark tint, you weren't expecting that. The second you sat back in the plush leather seat your mind flew to lewd thoughts of you leaning over the center console, Spencer's hand in your hair as he helps you take his cock in your mouth. You steal one glance at Spencer, his right hand holding the steering wheel loosely. Your cheeks heat up as you glance down between his legs, get ahold of yourself.
"The address is-"
"I remember." You knew he would. That damn eidetic memory ensured that he never forgot anything. It broke your heart a little, because some naïve part of you was hoping he remembered because it meant something to him. You hoped he remembered the way to your house because he didn't want to forget, because forgetting it meant forgetting you. But you know the reality, you know that he remembers because he has no choice but to remember. His memory is too good to allow him to forget anything, even if it was something he wanted to forget. You're grasping at straws and you know you are, holding onto that foolish notion that Spencer still held onto the memories. That he still held onto the gifts you gave him, crying softly in the night like you did sometimes.
"JJ told me about Maeve." You say softly into the silence, and you saw Spencer swallow thickly out of the corner of your eye. "I'm so sorry you lost her Spence."
"Thank you." He honestly wasn't expecting you to say that, to acknowledge the pain. Because acknowledging the pain meant that you knew he loved her. He did love her. But it was a different love then the love he feels for you. It was special, but so are you. You're special too.
"Have you...dated anyone else?" Spencer can't help but ask as he subconsciously continues the drive to your house. A drive he's committed to his memory, a drive he never wants to forget. You shift to look at him, there were a few you dated. You know when you tell Spencer about them that it'll drive him crazy.
"Tony Anderson." You say and just like you thought, Spencer groans deeply. Spencer detests Tony, they were practically mortal enemies when he still lived in Las Vegas.
"Tony? Seriously?" His tone is incredulous as his grasp on the steering wheel tightens ever so slightly.
"He was a good fuck at least." You know you shouldn't wind him up, but he hurt you for Christ's sakes. He deserves a little bit of pain too. Spencer flinches, a look of anger and something else simmering in his eyes.
"Please tell me you didn't have sex with Tony."
"Why does it matter?" You shouldn't enjoy upsetting people as much as you do. But there's still a small part of you that's convinced that Spencer deserves this.
"Because I can't live with the fact that somebody else has gotten to feel that perfect cunt of yours, let alone Tony." His crude words take you by surprise, and you can't fight the gasp that escapes your mouth.
"Well before you start digging your grave, relax. I never had sex with Tony." You decide to put him out of his misery, and you see the relief physically flood his body. You lean against the window, the next admission from you will leave the air heavier in it's wake.
"I've never slept with anyone but you Spence." You realize it's been a long time since you've seen Spencer let alone had sex with him but you could never bring yourself to sleep with someone else. It's not as though the opportunity never presented itself, you had plenty of chances to have sex with someone else. But you couldn't because there's still a stubborn part of you that doesn't want to betray Spencer.
"Really? Why?" Apparently this revelation surprised him.
"Because no matter where you go I will always belong to you." You snap without thinking, blinking tears from your eyes as you avoid his gaze. Spencer fell silent then, and you know he feels guilty. Probably because he's slept with someone else in the time since he's been with you.
"I know you have and it's fine I'm not trying to-"
"I haven't." Spencer corrects instantly, his eyes meeting yours through the darkness of the SUV. If he could see you he would see the look of utter surprise on your face. It's not as though Spencer was an overly sexually ambitious person when you dated, but you figured he probably slept with at least one person. "I haven't slept with anybody else either."
"I know someone that wants to though." You grumble without thinking, your mind drifting to JJ and the obvious crush she thinks isn't obvious. Spencer tilts his head in a way that resembles a confused puppy, you resist the urge to ruffle his hair.
"Who?"
"Agent Jareau." As soon as the name slips past the threshold of your lips, Spencer's jerks the wheel in surprise. You see a dark blush color his cheeks as his other hand reaches up to steady the wheel.
"J-Jennifer? No way! She's my best friend." You nearly laugh at his flustered state, and normally you would push it a little further but you decide to let it go. You don't want to completely destroy the way he sees her, you know you already destroyed the way she sees him.
"You have no idea what a catch you are Spencer." You tell him as you unbuckle your seatbelt, getting ready to exit the SUV. Spencer reaches over and places a warm hand on your wrist to stop you from leaving, his eyes searching yours for an answer he isn't sure you have.
"Come in?" You ask hopefully, you're not ready for him to leave again. Damnit why did he have to turn up again after so long? You were just starting to think that maybe you could move on and find someone new. You were finally starting to feel okay, and then Spencer reappears and turns your entire world upsidown all over again. Deep down you know that nobody will ever compare to Spencer Reid, and you don't want them to. You don't want anyone to be like Spencer, you want him to be his entirely own person. It's what you love the most about him, is his ability to be himself no matter where he is or who he's with. All of his little quirks, the things about himself that he doesn't notice but you do.
"Yeah." His answer comes across as an exhalation of breath, and you try to hide how excited you are. You want to hold on to any moment you can, stolen moments that you take as you please with no regret whatsoever.
"Nothing has changed." Spencer muses once you unlock the front door and push inside the darkened living room. You blush, admittedly nothing about your small townhouse has changed. It's all basically the exact same as when Spencer saw it last. You rub a hand down your arm as Spencer's eyes go wandering. Trailing over the curtains he remembers hastily pulling closed to protect your decency on more than a few occasions. His gaze then travels to the couch, all those movie nights you two spent curled up together. Or when he got you into Star Trek and you couldn't stop watching it. Pain stabs his chest for a moment, it's hard to remember everything he had to let go of to get the job he has now.
"I miss you too, you know." Spencer says off-handedly. It takes you by surprise, the sureness in his tone is jarring. He sounds so comfortable admitting when he's vulnerable, it's never been easy for you to be vulnerable with him. Maybe that's part of the reason he left, maybe you drove him away by shutting him out. His eyes meet yours, a look so soft in his eyes it feels as though his gaze is caressing your skin. You bite your bottom lip to keep the emotions at bay, what is it about this man that makes you so emotional?
"I never said I missed you." You try to snap, to add an edge to your tone. But instead it came out watery and broken, and in turn Spencer reached up to swipe away a falling tear.
"But you do." You can't even deny it, it's obvious.
"Damn you Spencer Reid, I was finally starting to feel okay again." You cry softly, curling your arms towards your chest in an attempt to shrink away from him. He cups your cheeks in his palms, turning your face up towards him.
"I wasn't." He admits before his lips are on yours, and it's not frenzied and desperate like you've been picturing all these years. It's slow and calculated, soft and passionate. Firm but with a tenderness that makes your knees buckle from the gravity of it. Spencer's fingers card into your hair, pulling your head closer to his. He nips at your lower lip, his arms crushing you against his chest. You throw yourself into him, your arms holding him as tightly as you possibly can. Afraid that if your vise grip loosens, even for a second, that he'll slip through your fingers like trying to hold onto water. You almost don't want to let your eyes close, you don't want him to disappear again.
"I missed you, I miss you-" You gasp against his lips, grabbing fistfuls of his dress shirt. Spencer continues to move his lips languidly against yours, backing you against the wall. His hand ghosts down your side to the hem of your shirt, his fingers toying with it.
"O-Off." You beg, and in an instant Spencer is pulling your shirt over your head. His eyes land on your bare chest, shocked that he almost forgot that you never really wear a bra. His hands curl around your back, drawing your chest up into his awaiting lips. His mouth curls around your hardened nipple, your hand flying into his hair from the contact.
"Is this a dream? Please tell me you're really here Spencer." You beg, almost becoming lost in the emotions again. His eyes flutter up to meet yours, his mouth reluctantly leaving your nipple. He brushes his lips over yours, his hand trailing down your stomach towards the waistband of your leggings.
"This is real, I'm here baby. I'm home." Hearing those words was too much, and you launch yourself into his chest as the first tear trickles down your cheek. Your lips press sloppily to his, the kiss messy and wet as his hand slides into your leggings. His fingers find your wet slit in an instant, desperately parting your lips to slide a lithe finger into you. Your body reacts to him instantly, in a way that surprises you. Almost as though it too was crying out for him, keening into him and begging for his touch as much as your mind is. Spencer hauls one of your thighs up to hook around his waist as he presses another finger into you. You cry out softly into the quiet air, accompanied only by the labored breathing fanning across your face.
"I need to feel you, I- I need-" You can barely get the words out as he steadily pumps his fingers into you. His mouth on yours silences your desperate pleading, his chest firmly pressing your back into the wall. You missed being able to feel him and you hate that you forgot what it feels like to have his body on yours. It's been so long you forgot what the sting of his cock feels like. What it feels like when you stretch wide open around him, to feel like you're being ripped in two. Spencer continues his pace, his thumb rolling your clit to provide the extra stimulation you're missing. It's not enough to satisfy you, but its enough for you two cum. Which you do. You gush around his fingers as you gently come undone, your back arching into him.
"Please," You beg wantonly, curling your other leg around his waist as his hands hook underneath your thighs. Spencer's lips press against yours, moving slowly against your own. You know now that you will never stop loving Spencer, and that he's completely ruined you for life. You'll never be able to love anybody else without your heart wandering back to him. But then again, you don't really mind because you don't want to be with anybody else. You don't want to love anybody else. You just want him, only him. He pushes into your room, walking the entirety of the way with his eyes closed and his mouth pressed against yours. He has the layout of your house mapped out in his head? He never even bumped into anything until he was dropping you unceremoniously on the bed.
"Tell me what you need, I'll give you whatever you want." Spencer husks against you, hovering above you. Your fingers are already unbuttoning his shirt before you even have the chance to respond to him. You know instantly what you want, what you need from him.
"I want all of you, give me everything." You plead, your lips practically chasing his as he kneels up over you. He's being soft tonight, and that's something you appreciate greatly. You need to feel his love, you need to feel everything you know he can't quite put into words. His hands are shaking as he undoes the button and zipper of his dress slacks before kicking them off the edge of the bed. You stare up at his naked body, looking as though it's been sculpted by the Gods specifically for you. Spencer smiles softly at you as he pulls your leggings down your legs, leaving little nips and kisses on your inner thighs as he goes.
"Hurry." You groan, nearly clawing at his bare shoulders to pull him back up to you. Spencer chuckles at how eager you are, watching with interested eyes as the head of his cock breaches your folds. You reluctantly stretch open as he continues his intrusion, his fists curling tightly around the sheets. Christ you weren't lying about not sleeping with anyone else, you're so tight it's making him feel a little lightheaded. Inch by inch Spencer presses into you, his forehead resting against yours once his pelvis is sitting flush against yours. Sure, you've had sex with hi before but never have you felt this connected to him. Spencer sits like a gentleman and lets you adjust to his size, trying to take a few deep breaths himself. It's hard to breathe with your heat sucking him in with a vice grip.
"Can I move?" You're surprised by how collected his voice is, but the furrow of his brow is a giveaway that he's losing the battle to stay stock still inside you.
"Yes, please." You moan, unashamed. Spencer gently draws his hips back, pulling himself nearly all the way out before swiftly sliding back into your inviting cunt. He sets the pace slow and deep, his hands reaching up to lace through yours. Every time the head of his cock nudges that spot deep inside you, you can feel your toes curl. Your head slams back against the pillows, unable to keep your gaze on him any longer. You feel yourself becoming one with him, and you wish you could capture this moment somewhere other then just in your minds eye. Your memory is nowhere near as good as Spencer's, he'll be able to recall every detail of this moment up until the day he dies. But over time, this memory will fade for you. It'll wear out, all the details becoming fuzzy and blurred. If he's not here in front of you, you'll forget and you don't want to forget.
When the night draws to a close, and the moon has reached its peak, Spencer slips carefully out of bed. It chisels away pieces of his heart as he carefully gets dressed, reaching for his go bag which he'd brought inside upon realizing that he'd be staying a while. He pulls out a t-shirt he'd worn recently and leaves it folded neatly at the end of your bed, something for you to hold onto when he's gone. Spencer's cheeks are wet with tears as he leans over and presses a kiss to your head.
"I love you." Is the last thing he whispers in the space between you two before he's gone again.
//
On the jet, Derek can't keep his eyes off Spencer and that helplessly broken look on his face. A book is laid nestled in Spencer's lap, but Derek can tell he isn't really reading it. Trying to bother Spencer into opening up probably won't work, but it's worth a try. Derek has to do something and this is all he can think of.
"You okay kid?"
"Yeah fine, why?" Spencer draws his eyes up from the book, his gaze meeting Derek's from across the table. While Spencer might be a talented actor, he can't lie to Derek.
"Look I know how hard it must have been leaving her again-"
"Did you know that on average the FDA allows a minimum of 1 rodent hair per 100 grams of peanut butter? They have to allow themselves room for error just in case of-"
"Alright you win, forget it." Derek sighs, turning his gaze out the window. In an instant Spencer drops his peanut butter spiel, turning back to his book. A guaranteed way to get people off his back is to start rambling about something boring or gross, they usually leave him alone pretty quickly. It's not that Spencer doesn't appreciate Derek's concern, he just doesn't want to talk about it. He can't talk about it, because every time he imagines how you're going to feel when you wake up, tears come to the surface of his eyes. He hates this case more than all the rest even though they saved the victim. Spencer hates this case for ripping open an old wound, one he thought healed.
He was wrong.
//
When you wake the next morning you knew he'd be gone. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you reached over and felt cold sheets. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you cried how much you loved him over and over again even though he couldn't hear you. It doesn't change how badly this hurts, how much worse it feels compared to the first time he left. Your eyes catch the shirt folded at the end of the bed and you grab it instantly. You pull it over your body and you lay down in your bed, inhaling his cologne that you know will fade over time. Eventually his scent will disappear, removing all traces that this fabric belonged to him at all. Every trace of him will disappear over time, every mark from your body will slowly vanish. When it's all gone, you'll be left with nothing more than a t-shirt that's too big for you, and a cold reminder that the man you love will never truly be yours. A reminder that every time he comes home, he leaves again.
A cold reminder that this world is cruel for bringing you Spencer Reid, only to rip him from you again and again.
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wizkiddx · 3 years
Text
your voice
angsty vibe, requested by @hollandlover19 than you for th rq and hop this doesn't disappoint too much :)))
summary: tom says something so stupid and has to deal with the consquences
warnings: a bit angsty, but ends in fluff! argumnts and raising voices, I guess could be associated with panic attacks tho not written with that intention
//////////////////////////////////
“Oh, Y/n er sorry.” Harrisons morning dulcet tones were what you were awoken to with a groan.
Everything was achy, and your head was pounding, making you grumble in discontent as you shifted uncomfortably on the technically too-small-to-sleep-on sofa.
This was not the morning you’d foreseen even 12 hours ago.
Lockdown had been difficult for everyone, even removing the tragic health crisis. Being locked in with your boyfriend and his brothers and friends was, for the most part, amazing. Lots of laughs, lots of beers and lots of quality time that you usually didn’t get. But it was also intense.
Without a doubt, since you first got together, this was the longest time you’d ever had with Tom. And it had been brilliant, your relationship getting so much closer and just learning the subtlest intricacies about the other. In fact, when lockdown had been announced, you’d never lived together (the most a week-long holiday).
Though it was also like a pressure cooker, Toms rented house. When one of you were in an understandable but stubborn lousy mood, it affected the whole house.
Yesterday night had been the perfect storm. The weather was unbelievably scorching; your work had announced that they had to let some staff go because of the financial implications of the pandemic; a ‘mole’ had released personal details of your relationship.
And it was like a pot on the stove; everything went from controllable to violently boiling over in a matter of minutes.
Honestly, you didn’t even know why you had started arguing - it was that pathetic. And yet you’d both said pretty horrible stuff - though it was Tom who had crossed the line. Frankly, the way he’d spoken to you was almost unforgivable.
You’d both known instantly too, all his anger at you had immediately evaporated when he’d realised what he had said. It took no time for him to become a grovelling apologetic mess, however even that- it was already too late.
It might sound feeble, but honestly, you’d run and locked yourself in the downstairs loo. You’d cried on the inside- whilst from the other side of the door, he had been begging and pleading with you.
After an hour though, Tom finally gave up - hence why you’d had a pretty uncomfortable night on the sofa.
This brings it back to Harrison, the early riser of the house, barrelling into the living room after his morning run. All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, except also slightly terrified looking as he stood awkwardly in the doorway.
“I’m up now” You sighed, dragging yourself into a sitting position on the sofa whilst massaging your crooked neck.
“You er…. you fell asleep watching the TV?” Rolling your eyes, you sighed at the blonde, even if his poor acting was a little entertaining.
“Are we both pretending that you don’t know what went down last night?” Of course, Harrison knew. The walls were thin, you’d been screaming and he was Tom’s best friend. No doubt, Tom had immediately gone to him for help and advice last night.
Harrison held his hands up in response, caught in the act, and clicked his tongue. “What he said was bad. You shouldn’t be the one ending up with the sore back.” He wasn’t wrong.
“And yet here I am…” With a sigh you smiled which he returned with a sickeningly empathetic one “Anyway, don’t let my sad self get in the way, did you come in here for anything?”
Now, because Harrison was mentally a five year old, that’s how you ended up sat crossed-legged on the floor, clutching a wii remote and angrily shouting at yoshi on the mariokart screen. The whole household was competitive as hell and you were no exception - so some rouge elbows were flying when he viciously knocked you off the track.
Slowly Harry and Tuwaine filtered in and picked up remotes too, so the quiet morning was very quickly switched into a tense atmosphere of yelps and shouts. None more so than Tuwaine, who was possibly the worst looser you had ever met.
Really, you knew all the boys were only doing this as there way of showing you they were with you. That they also thought Tom was a massive raging dickhead. And you appreciated it more than they would ever know. Locked down in Toms house, very much not mutual ground, having three stupid boys behind you meant everything.
Just as you got on to the 18th and final race of the house’s mario grand prix, another voice cut across the tense silence as you waited for the coutdown to turn into ‘go’. Naturally, you flipped round to see Tom, looking as though he literally just rolled out of bed with puffy eyes and messy hair and no top. The sight made your heart flutter, to the point you had to consciously check yourself - refusing to smile softly at him like you usually would, instead narrowing your eyebrows and looking back at the TV.
Tom had so desperately hoped that when he came down this morning, everything would be better. That all it’d take would be a quiet conversation for the two of you to make up - for him to have you in his arms again. Primarily as he had heard your excited laugh echoing through the halls in reactions to Tuwaines yelps of protests - it made him hopeful. Waking up to a cold and empty bed was almost soul-crushing this morning. He did not want it to ever happen again.
Which is why his heart sank so much when all you gave him was a scolding look, before turning your attention to the TV. Admittedly, he was naive to think that what he’d done last night would be an easy fix - he knew it too. So with dropping shoulders, Tom silently took a seat on the sofa, watching from afar. You spent the rest of the race more absent, not joining in with the Harrison or Harrys trash-talking, acutely aware of Tom’s eyes burning the back of your head.
Then came Harry’s celebrations as the overall winner (only just) and when Harrison suggested another game Tom piped up again.
“Give me a turn Harry.”
The three boys kneeling next to you all stiffened, looking immediately to you for what seemed like consent - as if they were engaging with the enemy. (At least it was good to know everyone was on your side).
“I’m gonna go prepare for my meeting anyway.” You spoke quietly, already placing the remote on the floor and standing up.
“Y/n I don’t mind swappin-“
“No. Thanks, H but no.” You weren’t being selfless and giving Tom a turn. You were running away from seeing him.
And Harrison was still really angry at Tom. He’d been so selfish and insensitive and had hurt you- someone who Haz also cared a lot about too. Yes Tom was his bestmate, that he’d grown up with and known for years - but Haz really liked you too, in fact all the boys did. So they were almost as pissed with Tom as you were.
So while you threw the cushion you were sat on back on the floor, Harrison shot Tom the filthiest look and practically shooed him away.
“come on Y/n … just one more? Then you can do your boring work.” You were about to refuse when Haz tilted his head toward the door, only then noticing that Tom had slipped out the room. Now that he was gone ,yes, just one more wouldn’t hurt. The meeting prep wasn’t time pressured; it was an excuse for an escape.
Tuwaine whooped a little when you nodded, planting back down and ready for the first race. Yet apart from that, the room was still a little awkward, you being the first to break the silence.
“Actually Haz, would you mind giving me a lift today?”
“What to the shops?
“Um no not quite.” Tuwaine laughed in his usual innocent and infectious style before asking more.
“Seriously? You know we’re locked down? Boris won’t be happy if you going mad and leaving the house.”
“Just to Y/f/n’s. She lives on her own so it’s legal.”
“She lives just down the road right? Can’t you walk?” Harry was confused, making him look away from the screen, ultimately leading to his ‘diddykong’ falling off the track.
“I’ll have my bags. I um… I think I’m going to stay with her till lockdown eases more.”
As soon as you said that, Harry pressed pause on the race, all three boys looking at you mouth-opened.
“For real?”
“Yeh I um… think me and Tom need some time apart and being locked in isn’t helping.”
“I’m not saying to forgive and forget what he said… but he is really sorry.”
“The twats literally kicking himself.” Tuwaine added, making you smile a little for calling Tom that.
“I know just… I need some space and-“
“Are you breaking up?” Harry almost announced, cutting you off. He would miss you too.
“No! Nono I … well I don’t know. I just- we both need this.”
The boys all nodded, looking at the floor for a moment before Harrison’s blue eyes were back on you.
“Course I’ll drive, but… but I’ll miss you.”
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
You’d left merely an hour later, whilst Tom was holed up in the garden doing what looked like an almost unbearable work out. It meant he was also out your hair and you could throw all your stuff into two suitcases without him being any the wiser. It was probably pretty cowardly to leave without speaking to him, but you couldn’t. It would hurt too much and you didn’t want to break down in front of him. No doubt as soon as you had got to Y/f/n you did - into a blubbering mess of tears - but Tom hadn’t seen so it was okay.
Speaking of. Tom.
Tom was not in a good way at all. He’d been trying really hard to curb his’ short fuse’ lately- all of which had been well and truly blown in the past 4 hours. After finally being realised from meetings, which he’d not been able to concentrate on anyway, Tom had mentally prepared himself for a lot of grovelling. Once he’d vaguely hunted the house and not found you there, he naturally asked Harry and Tuwaine (both of whom were in the living room) if they’d seen you around.
It was a typical question, the answer he was expecting was that you’d just gone on your daily walk. And yet the response he got was… well a lot more confusing. Harry’s eyes widened whilst T did his awkward-uncomfortable chuckle, the two locked in an intense bout of eye contact. It was as though they were arguing with each, but through the powers of telekinesis... and it put Tom on edge. He was already stressed because you were so angry with him, so not getting a clear answer out of his brother and best mate - lets just say it tested his patience.
“You two need to tell me what the hell is going on right now.”
The two boys both looked panicked to speak to him, which was the opposite of the usual situation. They were some of the ONLY people in his life that would just say it how it is, no sugar coating. Like if he was away and being ‘famous’ was getting to his head; or if he wore the wrong pair of jeans. Even yesterday evenings events, they’d both called him out on what he’d said to you.
So why the silence?
Eventually, it was Harry who spoke up, but in doing so, practically just waved all responsibility on to another innocent party.
“Ask Haz.”
And then Tom knew. He knew this was bad. Immediately his heart was pumping at an alarmingly fast rate, taking the stairs two at a time and not bothering to knock before bursting the door open.
“Where’s Y/n?”
Harrison was reclined back on his haphazardly made bed, laptop balanced on his lap as he looked up with a sigh. He’d known this conversation was coming, but it didn’t make it any less easy. With a sigh, Haz closed the lid of his MacBook and sat up on the bed.
“Tom just-“
“Where. Is. She.”
“She’s gone to Y/f/n’s.”
“Oh… okay.” Suddenly Tom’s voice was muted, thinking he might’ve blown his top at nothing. This wasn’t weird - Y/f/n was in your support bubble and you went to hers often.
Tom was grossly underestimating the situation - and Harrison heard didn’t fancy stringing him along though.
“No like gone. She um… she took all her stuff. I think she’s going to stay there till-“
Tom was already out his room at that point, slamming the door as he did so. Making a beeline for his own room, Tom then frantically started to pull out the draws and rummage around the shelves, confirming what he already knew. Your clothes were gone, your toothbrush and toiletries were gone, you were gone.
It’s important to note Tom didn’t really cry all that much. Or if he did - it was more inconsequential, at a sad movie or one of the rescue dog stories from battersea. Actually, when it came down to it, he didn’t really cry.
Now though, it was impossible to ignore the burning of his eyes, as he sank down onto the bed that now felt twice the size. With ragged breath, he repeatedly fisted his eyes, not actually letting the tears fall - but it was impossible to not acknowledge their presence. Harrison stood wordlessly at the door frame, knowing it best not to interrupt - whilst at the same time knowing Tom shouldn’t be left alone. There was a delicate balance between the two, which he was walking on a knife-edge on right now.
After a short while, Tom looked up with red eyes and nodded at Harrison, effectively granting him entrance. With a sigh once again, Haz moved and sat next to Tom on the bed, clasping his hands together nervously.
“She said you both just needed a break from each other. Think lockdown and everything was just a bit too intense.” Haz had tried to explain, yet it seemed Tom had only managed to lock onto one of the first words.
“A break? Or breaking up?”
“I uhm… she didn’t explicitly say ending things. But I just… I don’t know to be honest mate.”
“You see the way she looked at me this morning? Like she hated me. Wouldn’t even acknowledge that I was there.”
“I don’t know what to say… she needs time and space I think.” Tom was silent for a beat, shaking his head as he cradled his forehead.
“I hate the fact you and my girlfriend are on better terms than I am.” Anddd his voice was back to scathing.
“I’m not on anyones side. But your both my friends and she… she needed some time.”
With that, Harrison made a quick exit out, getting Harry to take over the Tom supervision.
Ever since the atmosphere in the house had been tense. To say Tom was highly strung was an understatement, particularly towards Harrison. Deep down he was thankful Haz was looking out for Y/n: he was glad that Haz was checking she was okay. It’s not like Tom could, because Y/n was refusing to answer his calls, texts, whatsapps, even the slip of paper he’d slipped under Y/f/n’s door in the middle of an especially dark night.
So it was good to know Y/n was okay, but the fact she was going on socially distanced walks with the rest of his housemates was rubbing salt in the wound.
After a week and a half of complete radio silence on your end Tom had utterly worn down. He didn’t have the emotional capacity to be angry anymore, he was just tired. Tired of missing you with every breath, tired of the ten-tonne weight of guilt pressing on his chest, fucking exhausted with being angry at Haz and Harry and Tuwaine.
The best thing in his life and one of the very limited opportunities was quality time with the people he loved more than anything else. He had ruined it all.
And it was the small things. It was waking up to your soft, whispered voice in the morning; it was your infectious giggle when he surprised you with a hug from behind and gentle kisses to your neck; it was your quiet singing in the shower. Especially when he knew Haz, Harry and Tuwaine were all still seeing you and laughing with you. It hurt like hell.
Which is how he ended up hesitantly knocking on Harrison’s bedroom door at half eleven at night, with his tail between his legs. Having been so uber-healthy all lockdown, Haz was already in bed following his sleep cycle, though for Tom right now- he would be awake.
“I’m um… I’m sorry I’ve been a knob. There’s no excuse of anything I’ve just… I’ve been a knob.”
“You’re not wrong.” Harrison nodded in agreement with a sly smile, motioning for Tom to come into the room, after which he perched on the edge of the bed.
“I just… I need to speak to her but I… I don’t want to push her if she’s still hurting and I…”
“You absolutely promise not to blow your fuse? Because she couldn’t handle that.” Tom’s eyes widened, thinking this would be a much harder pitch than how it seemed to be going.
“Yesyesyes i- I promise. I just, I feel broken you know? Even if all I get is the time to say sorry, I-I really need to.”
Harrison released a deep breath, nodding slowly before throwing the covers off himself. Tom watched all his movements with a curious gaze, silently sitting as Haz pulled on a hoodie, then socks too.
“Well? Let’s go.”
//////////////////
Now, what Tom had not in the slightest bit been prepared for was this to happen tonight. Really, he hadn’t even thought Harrison would agree to let him talk to you… and even if he had, Tom not in hell thought it’d be at 11:30 that evening.
His heart was thundering in his chest, trying to hurriedly script how on earth he was going to apologise meaningfully to you - as him and Haz walked the short distance to your friends house. Honestly the whole situation was peculiar to Tom - finding it hard to believe that if you weren’t to answer his texts you wouldn’t be open to an in person conversation.
What Tom didn’t know, was how you’d been texting Haz at a similar point of desperation. You weren’t happy and even given everything Tom had said and acted - you missed your boy. No matter how infuriating he could be when trapped 24/7 - you’d quickly learnt this was the only way you wanted to spend these weird times.
So yes, Tom’s best friend knew you were hardly sleeping either, but needed that little push to interact with you boyfriend. No doubt, you’d still be awake to answer the door.
Once he’d arrived at the apartment block and walked up the stairs to the right floor, it still took some prodding and pushing from Harrison to get Tom to knock on the door. Plainly, because he was shitting himself. Haz hadn’t given him enough pre warning, enough time to work it all out in his head. So it took another encouraging nod from Harrison for him to knock on the slightly rough-round-the-edges flat door.
Y/f/n was single and young, starting her career in Kingston - so the flat she could afford was modest at best. When it was just occupied by a single person, that was manageable - two was a push. You’d only been living with her for a week and a few days but it was enough to know this flat was not ideal for two people in lockdown. You were already stepping on each others toes. It also wasn’t technically legal to move households but Y/f/n had always been in your support bubble as a single household otherwise. And so there was also a layer of guilt to it all.
Naturally then, sharing a bed with someone who wasn’t Tom meant you just were not sleeping. Even if you had both gone to bed early (just to kill some hours in the day) you were still wide awake at quarter to twelve - when a timid knock echoed through the minuscule apartment. Curiosity peaked at who the hell would be calling now; you silently slipped out of bed, managing to not disturb Y/f/n, and closed the bedroom door.
Now you weren’t an idiot. Even though this was southwest london, hardly the capital for crime, Y/f/n lived in a dodgy building with some questionable characters. And it was midnight. Hence why you approached the situation cautiously, tiptoeing to the door and waiting with your ear pressed against the wood.
“I told you she wouldn’t answer!”
“She will! Might just be in the loo or something.”
“Haz this is stupid-“
The air in your chest froze when you immediately recognised the smooth tone of his voice. It was him… and you’d missed that so much. Already there were tears in your eyes and you couldn’t open the door just yet. So no, instead you slid down the doorframe before calling quietly out into the night.
“Tom?”
The bickering on the otherside of the door was silenced, but you heard a quite tap on the door... and could envision exactly what was going on. Tom, pressing both palms and his ear to the door, as Harrison took a few steps back - sensing his work was done.
“Y/n? You there?” He sounded desperate, you could hear the emotion dripping off his voice. It was only when you tried to reply did you realise your own voice was having a harder time speaking.
“Yeh its-its me.” It felt as though this heavyweight that had been pressing down on your chest was slowly lifting, making your voice all cracky and low.
In response, there was a short and sharp exhale. It sounded relieved before some fidgeting as you imagined him crouching down beside the door - mirroring your image.
“Fuck, it… it feels so good to hear your voice.”
“Yours too… I’ve-i’ve missed you.”
Tom snorted at that, a gentle bang allowing you to realise he’d just whacked his head on the back of the wood.
“You have no idea how this week felt.” He was wrong though, you did.
Yes, maybe without the insurmountable guilt that Tom was rightfully feeling, but it didn’t mean that the time apart wasn’t easy.
“I do. This hasn’t been a nice holiday for me you know?”
He sighed, knowing that yet again he’d said the wrong thing. This time though, he didn’t rebut instantly (which surprised you), instead his response was more measured and calculated.
“I am so sorry. And of course, I know because I was the one that hurt you too. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that.” You nodded but given this conversation was happening through a door Tom didn’t see your gentle agreement - opting to fill the silence.
“I um… I’m not good at this whole um… speaking my feelings. But I’ve hated myself ever since I picked that fight with you. It was stupid and uh it-it was all my fault. I’m so so sorry for hurting you.”
“‘Why?” You tried to ask, except the words were stuck in your throat, making you have to clear it before asking again. “Why did you say it?”
“To get a rise out of you. It’s stupid and petty and fucking-fucking dumb. I said it not because I’ve ever thought it, I never ever have, but I knew it’d hurt you. I was preying on your insecurities because I was angry at the world and that was so unfair. “
“No shit.”
Silence reigned as you fiddled with your fingers - specifically with the promise ring he’d bought you a year ago.
“You-you think you could ever forgive me?”
“Thats the annoying part. I want to hate you because you literally stabbed me then twisted the knife but… but all I’ve done this week is miss you. Even when I saw Haz or Harry or Tuwaine. I just fucking missed you.”
“Can you open the door please love?”
Clumsily you scrubbed the tear tracks off your face, scrabbling to your feet so you could thrust open the doors. Because you might still be bloody pissed at him, but at the same time - you needed your Tom. Thrusting the door open, the first thing you registered was being pressed into Tom’s chest. His arms slinked around your waist and held him tight, which you reciprocated, squeezing tightly round his neck. Your senses were all being assaulted by one thing and one thing only. Tom.
He smelt like usual, except maybe the slightest bit stronger than usual - you figured he hadn’t showered in a day or two or bothered with cologne. The top of your forehead was pressed up against his chin, and as he readjusted his grip on you, you felt the scratchy feeling of his unshaven stubble. He kept whispering apologies against the top of your head, almost desperate and religiously.
Arching back, you brought both hands to cup his cheeks, looking into his glassy brown. eyes, which looked so lost and confused.
“I’m still angry.”
“Of course-“
“I’m still angry but I’m going to kiss you okay?”
Safe to say Tom didn’t require a verbal response, taking it upon himself to nudge his lips against yours, yet waiting for you to initiate the kiss. And that you did, everything else about this godforsaken week and a half. His index finger traced the angle of your jaw, whilst he held your lower back tight, pressing himself as close as physically possible to you. Needing you.
Eventually arching back, your thumb ran over his deep and sunken under-eyes, which added so much age to his face.
“You look tired Tommy.”
“Can’t sleep without you telling me goodnight.” That was another tradition you had had. Even when he was away, you’d even set an alarm for whatever bedtime was for the other across the world. Just so you could send a little message or voice not saying goodnight. Was it cringey? Yes. Did either of you care? No.
But since you’d been away all the evening wishes were absent from you. Which hurt Tom more than you may ever know.
“I know you’re still angry but will you please come home to me? I need you to be the last thing I hear at night and the first thing in the morning.”
would love to hear any feedback <333 (but think this is a bit of a shitter so im sorry!!!)
tagging: @lovehollandy12 @pandaxnienke @thegirlwiththeimpala @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @hollandlover19 @hunnybunimdun @crossyourpeter @thefernandasantana@hallecarey1
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Note
Can I get comfort from sal? So trans male reader keeps his binder on to long to the point of bruises and pain? You can chose headcanons or a one shot it’s up to you •3•
Summary: Sal comes home from his supermarket job to see you were in your shared bedroom in your shared apartment and asks how long you kept your binder on after you answer him he tries to help you with the pain.
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Word Count:1654
Pronouns: he/him
Gender: trans male
Warning: mentions of dysphoria, bruising, back pain and small injury
Modern AU
You both are in high school and Sal has a part-time job at the town Walmart.
Y/N = your name
----------------------------
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3rd Person POV
Sal stood in front of the apartment door with the card key in his left hand and was texting the group gc ( with him, todd, larry, ashily, maple and chug ). He turned off his phone and slid the key into the card lock and a small light turned red to green showing that it was unlocked.
Walking into the apartment Sal was met with silence. It didn’t worry him but he wondered where you were when he came home from work you usually were sitting on the couch doing something to pass the time as you waited for him but you weren’t there to give him his usual greeting of “ Hey, Sal, “ or “ Hey, blue! “
Sal then locked the door, took off his shoes, and put them on the boot rack on the door’s left side. Sal stood upright and walked into the living room and that’s when he heard it, “ Oh you’re home, Welcome back! “ Sal heard you greet him from the bedroom. The bedroom door was half open leaving him being able to see you laying on the bed in the room. Sal walked over to the door and opened it and leaned on the door frame.
He looked at you, you were so handsome laying there your legs laying straight on the bed as you scrolled on your phone. You had a tired look on your face and you bet your ass your amazing boyfriend Sal noticed and frowned, furrowing his brow. “ So how was your day today? You look tired. “ Sal asked with a slightly worried tone. You look at him with a small smile and turn off your phone, putting it on the nightstand beside your side of the bed.
“ It was fine I haven’t had a lot of sleep since I was trying to finish the dam book assignment T/N gave us. I did ask todd to help me after I finished pulling out my hair a little. So it’s done now and I won’t have to return to hell for a few days till our next assignment. But other than that I’ve had a fine day. “ You told the blue-haired male that was now on sitting on the bed beside you legs crossed with one hand holding his face listening to you.
You looked at him and asked, “ So how was your day at work? I guess the boss gave you overtime at the store again? “ You asked since he came home 2 hours later than his work schedule had said. “ Yeah, sorry! I tried to get off earlier but she just gave me so many things to do! “ He said annoyed. You leaned on one side wincing at the bit of pain moving gave you and Sal noticed. Sal was not a genius but when he saw you do that it didn’t take long for him to remember the last time a few months ago you didn’t take off your binder for longer than it intended. “ Hey, love how long have you had your binder on? “ He asked with tones of worry in his voice. You saw his eyes through the mask, they looked worried for you, the love of his life.
You sigh and close your eyes not wanting to see his reaction, “ 12 hours. “ You say quietly, almost in a mumble. “ Take it off. “ Sal told you with a stern pained voice. You were hesitant not wanting to have terrible dysphoria again, I mean that the entire reason you have had that on for so long and you both knew it. It took a little time to think but you finally surrendered. “ Fine…” You said with an upset sigh. You sat up quickly sending a jolt of pain down your spine making you lay back down and groan in pain. Sal quickly moved over to you and held your arm with one hand. “ Do you need me to help get up? It must be really painful to move. “ Sal asked rubbing circles on your arm. You make a pained smile, “ That would be really nice of you blue, thank you. “
Sal moved, straightening his back. “ Okay, first let’s sit you up just tell me when you’re ready to move and ill put my hand behind your back and push you up slowly. “ Sal told you. You waited for a minute for the pain to die down a little and told him you were ready. Sal slid his hand under the lower side of your back knowing your upper back must be in so much pain right at the moment.“ K, one...two...three! “ Sal started to move you up slowly and steadily.
Once you sat up Sal helped you lean your back on the backboard of your bed. After that Sal got off the bed and stood beside you. “ You alright? “ He asked squatting down to lead his head in your lap. “ Yeah, I’m fine just in a little bit of pain but no worries! “ You answer as you twirl a few of Sal’s soft blue locks in your fingers. “ Well...if you’re sure you’ll be fine then do you think we could try to stand you up and get that binder off of you? “ He asked in a caring tone. “ Yeah, we could try but I think I might fall over if I do. “ You cucked. SaL then stood up and held both of your arms. “ You know you don’t need to hold me like this right? “ You say as you steadily move up wincing at the pain your binder gave you to move. “ I know I just want to make sure you’re safe and won’t get hurt more than you already are. “ He started concentrating on getting you to stand up. Once you finally stood up he started getting your shirt off as you looked away embarrassed and disgusted. “ Why are you okay seeing my disgusting body? “ You aked as Sal threw your shirt on the bad behind you both. He looked bad at you and put his hand on your face and started rubbing small shapes with his thumb, “ Because I love you, and your handsome body, love. You are anything but disgusting! You're my handsome attractive boyfriend and that's what you'll always be to me, even if you hate how you look ill help you show that you're beautiful! And hey, we can always start saving up for surgery to get them removed if you really want. I’ll do anything to make you happy and I want you to know that but for now, we just need to get that binder off of you. “ He told you. You started to tear up as he started taking it off of you and finally broke down as he also put that down with the discarded shirt. “ Thank you. I love you! “ You cried on her shoulder.
“ Shhhh it’s okay….how about I give you a nice massage to relieve some of the pain? “ Sal asked calming you down slightly. You sniffed a bit and then looked at him with tear stains down your face. “ Yeah, that would be nice….” You said as you lay down in the middle of the bed. Sal sat down beside you and rolled up his sleeves. He first put his hands on your shoulders, thankfully they were warm and he started messaging the notes out. It felt good and you gave a big sigh. He then moved to where your bruises and cuts are from the binder. His hands became softer on your skin and he was careful to relieve some of the pain not give you some more. You felt a wave of relief when the pain died down you didn't even notice when Sal stopped till he said something to you. “ I'm going to get some ointment to put on the bruises! “ He told you walking out of your bedroom.
You stare at the wall in front of you as you listen to his movement, him opening the bathroom door then him opening the cupboard and moving some things around till he found the ointment. You looked over at the door as Sal walked in medicine in hand. He sat back down beside you were still laying on your stomach. “ This is going to be cold on your skin. “ He said opening the medicine and putting some on his finger. He put some on a large bruise and yeah, he was right, it's fucking cold. You wince at the cold feeling on your skin but you soon get used to the feeling as Sal rubbed it in more.
Soon enough he was done and you were tired mentally and physically. You look at your wonderful boyfriend beside you scrolling on his phone. “ You think we can cuddle? “ You ask looking at him with i tired and pained face. “ He turned off his phone and looked at you with beautiful and caring eyes. “ Sure, love! Let me just take off my mask. “ He told you unclipping the clips under his hair. You didn't even really notice he still had it on but was happy he's still comfortable taking it off around you. After setting his mask down on the nightstand he layed his back on the backboard and moved his arms out waiting for you to come in his arms. You crawled over to Sal and went into his comforting arms. You both stayed there in the quiet only sounds of small movement and breathing in air. Soon enough your eyes started getting droopy and you started letting out cute yawns. You hear Sal chuckle and you say a quick shut up before your eyes closed for good and you fell fast asleep going into an amazing and magical dream.
Now you both were together and that wouldn't change ever even if either of you struggles with things or life throws things at you you'll always be there for each other, from now and forever.
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Pictures
Sal Fisher- https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/496873771387590071/
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Sorry if this was terrible! I honestly loved writing this but was having some trouble getting my ideas down on the computer so it might seem quite bad, but hopefully, this helps even a little and have a great day/afternoon/night and remember to stay hydrated!
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cvtqr · 3 years
Text
hey roomie!
pairings; eren jaeger x reader
content warning; eren jaeger x f!reader
content warning; friends to lovers, masturbation, unprotected sex, cream pie 
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being eren jaeger’s roommate was... well, challenging. he was always up late doing extra work his boss assigned him, bringing his friends over, his brother barging in once a day.
you didn’t want to move out though, i mean you could never afford a place on your own. plus you had a good relationship with eren. you were connected through your cousin reiner in college. you guys got pretty close and by graduation the both of you decided to share an apartment for expense reasons.
as of right now, eren was interning at a company called scout. a business ran by no other than the semi-famous, and extremely handsome, erwin smith. eren was working in one of the offices managed by levi ackerman. you figured having someone as powerful and smart as levi guiding you, eren was going places in that company.
as for you, you were currently employed in a bar and grill restaurant called marleys.
“i’m headin’ out, see ya galli!”
“see ya tomorrow, text me in the morning.”
friday nights were usually the worst over at marleys, but today was different. some new workers joined the crew and my boss, galliard, wanted to see how they handled the pressure of a packed night. considering that, he gave me the night off.
living with eren for almost a year i’ve come to take notice of his schedule. every friday i get the notification someone’s at our front door at the same time. 12 am is when he comes home on fridays. it’s been like that since the first few weeks you guys lived together while you were still unemployed.
at least it’s only 7pm now. i can finally have some peace and quiet time to myself with no distraction. once i got home the first thing i did was change into my pajamas. it felt nice not having to worry about closing doors or anything, at least for the time being. eren wouldn’t be home for another 4 and a half hours so you could sit in the living room naked for all you cared.
you didn’t have to do anything but enjoy the peace and quiet, so that’s what you did. you plopped down on top of your made bed and just looked around. that was until your eyes met the picture collage on your night stand. specifically the one picture in the collage.
it was from last summer, you and all your friends at a pool party. the one person you had your eyes on though, was eren. how he looked with his shirt off, his damp hair thrown into a messy bun, his swimming trunks wet from just getting out of the water. to top it off, a smug grin on his face while wrapping his arm around you as you sat on his lap. completely innocent of course, there just wasn’t enough room for everyone to fit in the frame of the shot.
you don’t know what got into you during the next few minutes, but some how your hand found the hem of your pants. slowly bringing it down you started to rub circles around your clothed clit, all while thinking of your roommate. as the heat in your pants began to grow, you finally decided to let loose.
you pulled your pants, along with your panties, down and disregarded them on the floor, flipping back onto your side. you were on full display for anyone who walked in and turned down the small hallway of the apartment. you didn’t even consider the possibility of eren coming back home early. no, you didn’t even think of getting up to shut the bedroom door. was it because some part of you wanted him to come home early and see you?
it was dark in the apartment when eren got home. the only sort of light reflecting was the dim light of your lamp coming out of your bedroom. walking over to put his stuff down on the counter, he turned on the main lights.
if you weren’t digging your fingers into your cunt fantasizing about your roommate, so good to the point where you had to squeeze your eyes shut? then maybe you could’ve heard him come in and just maybe you could’ve seen the kitchen and living room light up.
but he heard you first.
not only was the small light coming out of your room, but soft little moans and grunts.
sneaking quietly to the door of your room, eren rested on your door frame, you still not noticing him. he figured you were too deep in your thoughts, and your cunt, to hear him.
that was until you felt your orgasm building up.
“e-eren”
“i’m over here, y/n.”
you quickly realized that you weren’t hearing things and that for the first time in almost a year, eren came home and early. you quickly pulled your fingers out and reached over to your throw blanket, now covering you bottom half.
oh god he’s going to kick me out. he doesn’t want to live with such a pervert. some roomate, masturbating to the mere thought of him. that was all your brain could comprehend as eren walked over to you and took a spot on the edge of your bed.
“you know, i was going to let you be and go fuck my fist to the sound of your pretty little whimpers. but now i know you were thinking of me. i figured you’d wanna help me out with my ‘issue’ ”
what. i mean of course you weren’t going to deny. but will this change anything between the two of you? fuck it’s already changed after that
“will it change anything between us? like- would we still be good friends and roommat-“
“stop worrying so much, y/n. i just admitted to getting off to the thought of you, after i actually just walked into you doing the same exact thing.”
he crawled over your bed and landed hovering over you.
“things are already different”
he leaned down and captured his lips with yours. more of a gentle, passionate kiss, which led to a more rougher one just a few seconds later.
“want you eren.” you mumbled out between kisses
your hands trailed down to the belt of his pants before he slapped them away.
“i’m not giving you anything until you’re more specific. what do you want now, sweet girl?”
“want your cock, i want your cock eren!”
his hands trailed down to the hem of your shirt, slowly pulling it over you. the second you were exposed to him, his mouth latched onto you, sucking dark marks onto the flesh of your brest. his other hand now working on the other one, swirling around the sensitive nub.
after he was satisfied with all the whispers coming out of your sweet mouth he looked back up at you.
“want my cock hm?”
you never nodded your head so quickly in your life
“a little more specific baby... come on your so close!”
“want it, want it in my pussy, please eren. just please fuck me already.” at this point you were about to cry for him
“good, i think you deserve your reward for using your big girl words.”
moving your hands back down to his pants, you successfully removed his belt, this time without him slapping you away.
but it was him that quickly shuffled his pants and boxers down.
“i’m on the pill as long as you’re clean.”
his cock twitched at the thought of fucking you raw, his cum filling you up.
before you knew it, eren had pinned your arms above your head with one hand, using the other to guide your hips up. his large cock entered you and he bottomed out.
giving him a nod of approval, he slowly pulled back out, before harshly thrusting right back in. your legs quickly wrapped around his hips, pulling him in closer. his hands let go of your wrists, he was now using it to hold your chest down as he sucked and nipped at your neck. your hands held onto his shoulders, tugging onto his shirt.
without missing a thrust, he slid his shirt off with just one hand, soon returning to work on your neck. your hand met with his now bare shoulder, slightly digging your nails into it. your other hand found it’s way to erens hair, tangling into his messy bun. right as your hand met his hair, he pounded right into your g-spot.
this caused you to let out a loud moan, almost sounding like a scream of pleasure. your hand tightly gripped around his hair. harshly pulling it back.
“fuuuuck, that’s it? that’s the spot isn’t it?”
the only answer he needed is when you let out the same reaction once he hit over that same spot again. he had won you. he continued to abuse your g-spot all while you roughly tugged his hair back.
the wave of pleasure the two of your were experiencing was mesmerizing.
“fuck eren, i’m gonna-”
before you could even finish your sentence you creamed all over eren’s cock.
“please let me, inside, fuuck please.”
once he got the soon nod of approval, he poured his cum out. he did what he’s been fantasizing about since college. he finally fucked you and came inside. and he came hard.
when he pulled out the mixture of cum started to leak out of your hole. that was when eren used his figures to push it back in.
“no, no, not one drop of this is going to be wasted. you understand?”
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Text
Absentee
Character: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader
Summary: When Y/N fell in love with Jason Todd, she didn’t realize the normalcy she lost would become such a problem in their relationship. And she didn’t know how much pain it would cause to hide her boyfriend’s secrets. 
Word Count: 4,600 – One Shot
A/N: This is probably a really personal story. And you all might hate it or not relate to it. But oh well...
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Y/N had her music playing in her headphones just quietly enough so she could hear them announce when her plane was boarding.
Between corporate holidays and what was left of her vacation days for the year, she was able to go home for a week and a half.
Only, she was hoping that this year she wouldn’t be going home alone.
But when Jason got sucked into a case two weeks before their flight back to her hometown, she knew there was no way he’d be accompanying her.  
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just–“ Jason had tried to tell her when she realized they weren’t going to be spending the holidays together.
“You don’t have to apologize. There are more important things right now than meeting my crazy family,” Y/N laughed lightly. “But they’ll be bummed.”
Jason still looked so down guiltily. He knew that Y/N had been downplaying how excited she was for her family to meet him.
Yeah, Y/N was upset, but her family was even more upset. Being in a different part of the country and them never putting in the effort to visit her, they had yet to meet Jason. Even when the two of them had been dating for 10 months.
Y/N had met all of Jason’s brothers, along with Bruce and Alfred. It had all been against his will, his family strategically running into them or invading his apartment when they knew Y/N would be there. Jason acted annoyed by it, but Y/N knew he was happy for her to meet them and without him having to act like he cared.
But Jason had only ever waved on FaceTime to her family or sometimes answered calls from them when Y/N left her phone next to him and went to another room.
It wasn’t like Y/N needed her family’s approval. She knew what she wanted and what was best for her. Their opinions didn’t hold as much weight with her as they thought.
But Y/N also had never introduced her family to a boyfriend before. Things either fizzled out before then or the relationship was so casual that the thought of even mentioning a boy-toy’s name in passing to her family made her want to jump out a window.
———
“So Jason couldn’t get out of work last minute?” Y/N’s older sister, Kate, asked as they drove to her house after picking her up from arrivals.
And so it began.
“No,” Y/N answered. “His boss is sort of an asshole. He’s a workaholic and can’t fathom why anyone else would ever be anything different.”
The truth was that Jason didn’t really have a job. When it came to income, Jason was resourceful. He was still a hitman for hire. But once the killing part of that job stopped – which was long before Y/N ever met him – it didn’t rake in as much money. Most of his money was either stolen from criminals or he would work odd jobs here and there.
However, the lie Jason and Y/N had agreed on was that he was a mechanic. And Jason did know absolutely everything there was to know about cars and motorcycles. He’d even promised Y/N that if she ever decided she wanted him to drop the vigilante life, he would do just that and start his own mechanic shop. But Y/N knew better than to ever ask that of him.
“Cars don’t stop breaking – even around the holidays,” Y/N joked darkly.
“Mhmm,” her sister answered.
Y/N already knew what her family thought of her boyfriend’s “job”: it wasn’t good enough for them.
The only reason they let it slide was because they knew Bruce Wayne was his adoptive father. Therefore they interpreted Jason’s ‘lack of ambition’ as his personal rebellion against his privilege and upbringing.
“Mom said he sent flowers and a bottle of wine to the house today and apologized for not being able to make it,” Kate added.
Y/N quickly looked at her in surprise.
“So I’m guessing from your reaction that it wasn’t your idea,” Kate teased.
“No,” Y/N shook her head. “He didn’t even tell me he did that.”
That was a Bruce Wayne move for sure. It didn’t matter that Jason had a rocky relationship with him, the Wayne charm and manners were deceivingly contagious.
————
Later that night, when everyone was in bed and Y/N decided to finally unpack. And she was surprised to find two of Jason’s t-shirts hidden in her bag. They were her favorites of his, always stealing them. Mostly she wore them to lounge around the apartment or to wear to bed. But her favoritism was in no way hidden.
Jason must’ve snuck them in her bag while she wasn’t looking.
Y/N smiled as she grabbed one of the shirts and raised it to her nose. It still smelled like him.
It was enough to make her feel guilty for not having called him yet. She’d texted him that she landed, but other than that, she’d been pretty silent.
She grabbed her cell and dialed.
“Hey, you.”
He always answered her calls as if they made his day, even if she’d called him multiple times that day already. His reaction to her calls never failed to make Y/N smile.
“I didn’t really expect you to pick up,” Y/N admitted.
“Always got time for you,” he answered lightly.
But then she heard background noise: wind blowing, distant sirens, people shouting at each other nearby.
Jason was on patrol. Or maybe he was doing some recon. 
But Y/N knew not to ask. 
“I see some of your clothes made the trip,” Y/N commented through a smile. Jason could hear the smile in her voice. “Those t-shirts have a mind of their own…”
“And my mom thought the flowers and card were sweet,” she added.
“I might not have met her yet, but I know that’s not gonna be enough to win her over,” Jason answered darkly.
Y/N didn’t say anything, because they both knew he was right.
“Flight was fine?” Jason asked, changing the subject.
“Mhmm.”
“I miss you.”
Y/N shook her head and laughed. “No, you don’t. I’ve been gone for like 12 hours.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
She rolled her eyes. “Always the romantic.”
More sirens could be heard. They sounded closer this time. “Are you being careful?” All playfulness had disappeared from her voice.
“Of course.”
Y/N sighed. “Jason, I’m serious. Please, be safe.”
“I know. I know. Don’t worry about me.”
“You know that’s not gonna happen, J.”
He ignored her comment. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
————————
To say Y/N’s time at home was rough…was an understatement.
If Y/N wasn’t being asked a million questions about Jason, she was being interrogated for why he wasn’t there. And if Jason wasn’t the subject of the conversation, people acted like she was single – some even talking about setting her up.
Y/N realized she preferred the former.
Every year, her family threw a giant party.
And for the past five years, Y/N had always been the only one that was single. All of her siblings, all of her cousins, all of their family friends, all of their neighbors…every single one of them had a significant other during those years. 
Everyone...except her. Now, this year, all of them had kids or were expecting.
It was exhausting. 
Sometimes Y/N felt like they were all robots programmed to do the exact same things at the exact same time –  no original thought to be had.
Y/N would be lying if she didn’t spend most of the party wishing Jason was at her side. He would make fun of awkward situations with her. And he would stick up for her when her family teased her a little too much.
The other thing Y/N wasn’t prepared for was unintentionally studying  her family’s boyfriends or husbands. She felt like she was watching everyone’s relationships through a different lens now that she herself had her own. And to put it as kindly as possible…she was not impressed.
Y/N noticed how none of the men offered to help in the kitchen, instead deciding to sit on the couch and watch football and scream at the television. Or how when her cousin handed her son to her husband, and he acted like he didn’t even know how to hold the one year old. And later, when his diaper needed to be changed, he handed him back to his wife as if he had no idea how to do it himself.
Yet her family was stuck on Jason not being able to visit or that he was a mechanic.
What did someone’s job matter if they treated her like she was their world and he the best thing to ever happen to her?
If Jason were here, he would be in the kitchen cooking. And if they had a kid, it would be a 50/50 job – not a burden only Y/N had to bare. He would try to get to know everyone because he would want to know the people who raised the woman he loved. He’d make sure to check in on Y/N every once in awhile, making sure she didn’t need anything. 
Thinking about it all made Y/N miss Jason even more.
Needing to get some air, she decided to go outside and let the winter chill refresh her. It had been getting too hot in the house.
Y/N pulled her phone out of her back pocket and tapped Jason’s name.
“Hey, you.”
“Hi,” she sighed.
Just hearing his voice made her feel a bit better and tension left her body.
“What’s wrong?” Jason quickly asked.
“Nothing. Just…wanted to check in.”
For a second, she was going to explain that she had the sudden realization that all the men connected to her family were trash. And witnessing it was making her miss him more. But she didn’t really want to waste her breath and she figured she’d just come off dramatic more than sincere.
“Are you at your apartment?” She asked quickly.
“Yeah, I’m gonna leave for patrol in a bit…”
Then Y/N’s mind suddenly thought, ‘Fuck it.’
“Jason?”
“Yeah, kid?”
“If you were here…” She began softly.
“Mhmm,” he encouraged.
“What would you be doing?”
Jason was a bit confused by the question for a second. But he slowly got what she was asking.
“Well,” he took in a shallow breath. “I would’ve stolen Alfred’s famous chocolate chip cookie recipe and whipped up those bad boys to bring over. And I’d pretend to care about football with your dad.”
That made Y/N laugh.
“I’d help your mom in the kitchen, even when she pretended not to want it.”
“Really laying it on thick, huh?”
But Y/N knew he was right. Jason was the cook between the two of them – and a good one, too. He also was a helper. He couldn’t sit back and watch someone do something while he did nothing. No matter how big or small.
“Shhh,” Jason reprimanded and then continued. “But most importantly, I’d try to get as many embarrassing stories about you as I possibly could.”
“Well, thank goodness you’re not here then,” she teased with a roll of her eyes.
Jason was quiet a second before he asked, “Wanna tell me what’s wrong now?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Just miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“All my family’s boyfriends and husbands are losers. And I guess I’m just now realizing it.”
“Ahh,” Jason noted.
Now he really knew why she’d asked her question.
“It’s snowing here,” he told her as he looked out the window. “It’s almost making Gotham look pretty.”
“Are you going to the manor for Christmas?”
“Probably not,” Jason answered.
“Jason,” she grumbled. “What are you going to do instead? Sit in your apartment alone?”
“I’m gonna patrol. Crime doesn’t take holidays, Y/N.”
“Cheesy,” she pointed out. “Please be with your family, Jason. I don’t want you to be alone. OK?”
“I’ll think about it.”
Y/N knew that was as good as it was going to get.
Then she felt something on her cheek and she looked up. “Hey, it just started snowing here, too…” She told him with her head tilted back.
“I love you,” he sighed.
“I love you, too. Be careful tonight, Jason.”
Y/N gave herself a few more moments outside before returning to the party.
When she walked back inside, she immediately heard her name. But no one was calling to her. 
She was being talked about. 
She recognized her mom and sister’s voices, and then a couple of her aunts. They were talking around the corner, completely unaware that Y/N was in hearing distance.
So Y/N couldn’t help but linger.
“She says he works a lot. Every time I facetime her, he’s never there,” her sister Kate told the women. “I wouldn’t even really know what he looked like if it weren’t for her photos that she’s sent me. He doesn’t have any social media.”
“I just can’t believe he couldn’t get work off. Around the holidays?” Her mom added in utter disbelief. “Sounds like it won’t be surprising when she finds out he’s been unfaithful,” one her aunts commented.
The group hummed in agreement, but also disappointment. 
“He doesn’t even live in Metropolis. He lives in Gotham,” her mother supplied, only further backing the idea that Jason wasn’t committed. “God knows why. But I hate that Y/N is constantly going there. No good news comes from that city.”
Y/N clenched her teeth in anger.
If only they knew the truth about Jason. 
He was a hero and risked his life every night for an entire city – a city that had done nothing but hurt him. And he was 20 times the man than any of the men in their family.
She just wanted to scream at them for being so judgmental about a person they’d never even met.
But she couldn’t.
So Y/N stormed up to her childhood bedroom and decided she had enough of the party.
She shouldn’t have come home for the holidays. She would’ve rather waited for Jason to get back from his Red Hood work than listen to her family misjudge the first man she ever truly loved and wanted to share with them.
————————
Y/N was so tired when she got off the plane.
She felt like a zombie as she walked to baggage claim to grab her duffle.
What she wasn’t expecting was to find her boyfriend waiting for her in arrivals.
Y/N had told him she would just get a car.
But Jason seemed to have other ideas.
Y/N’s entire face brightened at the sight of him.
She practically ran to him and jumped into his arms.
Jason chuckled at her enthusiasm.
“What are you doing here?” She asked, her words muffled by his body.
“I thought I’d surprise you,” Jason said through a smile before he kissed her head.
Y/N didn’t respond, just held him tightly.
“Come on. Let’s get your bag and head home,” he finally told her.
“So, how was it?” Jason asked once they got into his car. Y/N shrugged, “It was fine.”
Her lack of details and curt response was enough warning for Jason to realize things were not totally fine between them.
He didn’t bother asking for more details during the car ride home. Instead, he answered all her questions about what he had been up to, how the case was going, if his family was alright.
Once they got back to Y/N’s apartment in Metropolis, the grace period seemed to be over.
Y/N had grown quiet as she moved around her apartment, unpacking and putting all her things away.
Jason walked into her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed as she folded clean clothes. “This might be a shot in the dark. But I can’t help but feel that you’re not happy with me,” he finally pointed out.
She didn’t answer or look at him, just kept folding.
“Did something happen while you were at home?” Jason pushed.
She still didn’t answer. So Jason reached for her hands, holding them gently.
“Hey, talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I just didn’t expect how hard it was going to be…” she finally whispered with a bowed head.
“What would be?”
“Just going home without you,” she explained.
“Did something happening?”
“I mean, kinda? Not really. They just…” she hesitated. Did she really want to confess all of this to him? She knew it would only hurt him. "They think you’re a bad boyfriend.”
Jason just nodded slowly.
He should’ve seen this coming. Of course her family didn’t think he was good enough. How could they think anything different?
“I’m just…fucking frustrated,” Y/n groaned. “I knew what I was getting into when you told me about your other life and who you really were. I was willing to keep your secret and protect it. I just never thought about how hard it would be keeping it from my family.”
She shook her head. “They think you’re not committed or something. And that…that you’re probably cheating on me.”
The idea of him ever doing that her made Jason sick to his stomach.
“I’m sorry,” Jason mumbled.
“What?” Y/N gasped. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“But I have,” he argued. “I put you in this position.”
“No, I did. I did when I fell in love with you,” she clarified.
“But I don’t want you lying to the people you love.”
“I’m not telling you this because I’m mad at you or blame you, Jason. I’m trying to tell you why I’m frustrated.”
She rubbed her face. “I just want them to know what an amazing person you are...and how brave and selfless. How you take care of me and love me and…and protect me.” Her eyes began to water. “They’re never gonna know the real you…even when they do meet you. And I fucking hate it.”
“So what if you told them?” Jason offered.
Her eyes widened at that. “Jason…”
“I’m serious. What if you told them?”
She thought about it. But she already knew the answer.
“It wouldn’t do any good. If I told them, then they’d be worried about me. Worried that your other life was putting me in danger. Worried that I would get pulled into it.”
Jason knew she was right.
Her family probably preferred an absentee boyfriend over a vigilante.
“But I see how the shitty men that have joined my family are. And you’re nothing like them. You’re so much better. And they’ll never even know.”
“Come here,” Jason muttered before he pulled her to him.
He let her body sink into his as he held her.
“I’ll do anything you want,” he whispered as he rubbed her back. “I just want you to be happy.”
“I always wondered what it would be like to finally been in a relationship – to just have someone on my team no matter what. I went to all those family gatherings thinking I’d never have it. And once I did, once I found you…” Her thoughts died out. “I just never expected it to be this way.”
“Do you regret it?” Jason asked as he pulled away to look in her eyes.
Her brow furrowed. “Regret what?”
“Being with me. Falling in love with me.”
Her heart broke at the question. “Oh, Jason. Of course not. Never.”
“What if I stopped?” He asked.
“No. I would never ask that of you,” she quickly shot down.
“I’d do it for you,” he tried to argue.
“I know you would. But I’m not asking. Because I know what it would do to you. Every time you’d see something in the news, you’d hate yourself. Because you would convince yourself that you could’ve stopped it. And maybe you would be right.” She took in a deep breath. “Red Hood isn’t just something you do. He’s a part of you. And even though I worry about you constantly, I’m never gonna tell you to stop.”
Jason took his time in reading her face.
“OK?” She pushed.
He nodded.
Then he embraced her once again.
“I’m sorry you have to keep my secrets,” he breathed into her hair.
————————————
Y/N walked into Jason’s apartment.
It was a Friday night and they agreed to have her come to his place this weekend.
Jason was always weary of her coming to Gotham, preferring her to stay in the safety of Metropolis.
He knew they couldn’t do the distance forever, and eventually they’d move into together. But he wasn’t ready to leave Gotham yet. And he didn’t want Y/N to lowering herself to such a city.
“J!” Y/N called when she walked in.
He had given her keys to his apartment quite early in their relationship, and told her she was welcome at his place any time. However, he wasn’t a fan of her getting there after dark. Gotham was Gotham, and he didn’t like her wandering around the city by herself just in order to give him a surprise visit.
An envelope on Jason’s kitchen counter caught her attention.
She nosily looked at it and saw that they were plane tickets to her hometown with both of their names on each of them.  
She heard Jason walk up behind her. “What’s this?”
“A surprise,” he shrugged.
“What do you mean?” She laughed.
“We’re gonna visit your family,” he explained casually. “I called your mom and sister to find a weekend that worked.”
Y/N was shocked to silence.
“I know I fucked up when I couldn’t go with you during the holidays. I know this isn’t gonna solve everything. But I figured…it’s start.” Before he could say more, Y/N threw her arms around him.
————
Jason Todd knew how to throw on the charm. And no matter how thick he laid it on, it always felt sincere.
Y/N smiled as she watched her boyfriend interacting with her family.
He knew so much about each of them already, that he knew exactly what to talk about with every one of them.
For their long-weekend visit, they had decided to stay with her sister.
Jason knew she would be the hardest to win over and was the most protective over Y/N. He made it his personal mission to befriend her and show her how much he loved her little sister.
Y/N never said so, but Jason knew how important it was to her that Kate approved of him.
However, Jason hadn’t been able to have a conversation alone with her all weekend.
Until their last morning there.
Y/N was still sleeping when Jason had made his way to the kitchen.
He figured he could make Kate and her husband breakfast after housing them for a long weekend. And he made sure to start a pot of coffee while he was at it.
Halfway through making his specialty waffles, Kate walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes.
“Oh, hi,” she greeted, clearly surprised to find Jason cooking in her kitchen.
“Morning,” Jason greeted.
“This is a surprise,” she said as she looked around the kitchen.
“There’s coffee if you want some.”
“T-Thanks…” she managed to mutter. “Do you need some help?”
“Nope. I got it. You just relax.”
Kate seemed to be unsure of how to behave when she was alone with her little sister’s boyfriend, and eventually sat on the kitchen stool with her coffee.
“Do you cook a lot?” She finally broke the silence with her question.
“I enjoy it,” he answered with a shrug. “I figured it’s the least I can do for you guys putting us up.”
“That’s very sweet of you, Jason.”
He continued cooking.
Kate figured this was her opportunity to get to know Jason – and not just through Y/N’s eyes. So, she started asking him question after question, and he seemed happy to answer them. Kate was surprised to find out about Jason’s traumatic childhood, making him realize that Y/N must’ve only shared his relation to Bruce Wayne and nothing more about his life before becoming an adopted Wayne.
Jason wasn’t surprised Y/N kept that part of his life to herself. She was protective of him that way. She always felt like his past was his story to tell, not hers.
“I know missing the holidays didn’t leave the best impression,” Jason told her after they’d been talking for awhile.
“You really mean a lot to Y/N. And your opinion matters more to her than you might think,” he added as he crossed his arms.
Kate seemed a little taken aback by how unafraid he was of confrontation.
He seemed more mature for his age – maybe for hers, even.
“I know I’m not going to win any of you over from just a single trip,” Jason continued. “But I’m going to work my ass off to make sure I get there.”
Kate smiled at that.
“I love her,” he told her quietly, but with determination. “She’s…Well, she’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Then he smirked. “And I’m not dumb enough to do anything to fuck things up with her.”
He took in a shallow breath. “I just…I just needed you to know that.”
Kate’s heart swelled from hearing her little sister’s boyfriend confessing his love for Y/N.
“Thank you for telling me that,” she whispered, trying to stop herself from crying. “I worry about her. And I hate that she’s so far away sometimes. I miss her.”
“She misses you, too,” Jason assured her.
“Thank you for taking care of her. I’m suddenly realizing you’re the only reason she’s eating anything that’s not out of a takeout container.”
Jason laughed. “I plead the fifth.”
Before any more could be said, Y/N walked into the kitchen as if she was sleep walking.
“Well, look who it is…” Jason teased.
Y/N walked to him silently, clearly wanting cuddles.
Jason chuckled at her, but gave her what she wanted. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He had kept the PDA at an absolute minimum while he had been around Y/N’s family. But he couldn’t help it when Y/N was her sleepy and adorable self.
“You sleep OK?” He tried to whisper to her.
But Kate still heard it and pretended to look down at her phone.
Y/N nodded into his neck, making him chuckle at her more.
This was new for Kate, seeing her sister being loved and loving someone. Her instinct was to say it made her uncomfortable. But it was just something she wasn’t used to.
Soon Kate’s husband woke up and they all ate breakfast together.
And a few hours later, Y/N and Jason were packed and their was a Lyft was waiting outside to take them to the airport.
Jason hugged Kate and her husband and thanked them for hosting them. Then he grabbed Y/N’s bags and gave her a moment alone with her sister as he took their stuff to the car.
“I think I owe the two of you an apology…” Kate told her little sister.
“You do?”
“I think I judged him a bit too much before really giving him a chance.”
Y/N winced, but nodded. “Yeah, you did, actually.”
“He really loves you.”
Y/N smiled. “He does.”
“I just want you to be happy, you know that right?”
“I know. But sometimes you think that what makes you happy is what would make me happy. Our lives are different. And we want different things. Just because my relationship looks different than yours doesn’t mean it’s worse in some way.”
Kate nodded sadly, knowing her sister was right. “I get that now.”
-----------
A/N: I was inspired to write this when I thought about how my own family would react to me having a boyfriend like Jason Todd: a man who was secretly a vigilante and had a past too hard for anyone to ever imagine. Hopefully, other people can relate to this and it wasn’t too personal. 😬
Let me know what you thought!!!
827 notes · View notes
alpacaparkaseok · 3 years
Text
The Pact - Shocker
Pairing/Genre: OT7 BTS x reader (not poly), idol!BTS, best friend BTS
Word Count: 8.1k
Premise: The truth about the pact the boys have about you has been revealed. What happens when you agree to go on a single date with each of them?
Warnings: angst, lots of feelings, but a lot of those are fluffy, happy feelings lol
a/n: there’s not much left so say except for thank you. I hope you enjoy, I tried my best!
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Shocker (finale)
series masterlist
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“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” -George Orwell ‘1984’
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Sunday, 3:12 am – immediately following the events of date #7
           The fact that the lights are still on isn’t surprising in the least. It’s been like this after every date. Yoongi is no exception, apparently.
           He pauses outside the door, resting his hand gently against the doorknob. It’s nearly silent, but he can hear familiar voices speaking in hushed tones on the other side of the door. He stares at the dark door, unable to shake the memory of your tear-stained cheeks and swollen ankle from his mind. You had sounded so worried, so afraid of what comes next.
           You’d mumbled out his name when you made it to your bed, the exhaustion on your face momentarily replaced with a look he could only interpret as blind fear. And the way you’d looked at him, wide eyed with a quivering lip…he doesn’t think you noticed, but he nearly caved. He almost laid down beside you and taken you into his arms, deeming the time on the beach not enough.
           With you, it was never enough. Slivers of time and longing looks you never noticed; it would never be enough.
           If the botched date wasn’t evidence enough, it was then, when you gazed up at him and mumbled out his name, Yoongi knew.
           Tonight…it wasn’t enough.
           So he just leaned forward and watched how your eyes fluttered shut as he pecked your nose.
           “I know.”
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          Jungkook straightens up from where he was slumped on the couch beside Jin the second the door opens and Yoongi walks in. The scattered conversation that they had all been using as a distraction fades out as each boy focuses in on the newcomer.
           Hobi is practically invisible beneath the huge sweatshirt he wears, his face barely visible as he speaks. “How was it?”
           For some reason or another, there’s always been a postdate analysis of sorts. It’s usually just like this: all of the boys gathered up in the living room in various states of consciousness. Jimin was the only one to slide by without an impromptu meeting after his date, partially because he was too exhausted to see straight and also because everyone knew he’d tell them all the details at breakfast the next morning. He did, and Taehyung actually managed to break a bowl when he lost it over the story of how you and Jimin got kicked out of the basilica.
           Namjoon, on the other hand, had been pretty grim when he realized that Jimin had been teasing you endlessly about your little kiss.
           Now, Yoongi shuffles inside and plops down unceremoniously beside Namjoon, who looks a little worried at the silence. Dropping his heads in his hands, Yoongi rubs at his face before leaning back against the couch.
           “It was fine, if you don’t count the twisted ankle.”
           “What?” Jimin sputter out, suddenly wide awake. “She got hurt?”
           “What happened?” Hobi follows up, leaning forward until he’s nearly slipping off of the couch. “Is she alright?”
           Yoongi is quick to explain your little accident, omitting your tears from the storytelling. He doesn’t want to embarrass you or make the others feel bad. The others listen with rapt attention, Jungkook’s mouth in a little ‘o’ all throughout.
           Jin remains silent on the couch, as he usually does during these little meetings. He’ll occasionally comment on something or voice a question, but he tends to remain fairly quiet. Drinking in the information, eyes clear despite the late hour.
           It’s unnerving.
           “So…it’s not a bad injury?” Namjoon asks, crossing his arms.
           “No, she’s fine,” Yoongi reassures. “Just tired. She went straight to bed after I dropped her off.”
           Taehyung grins knowingly. “Adorable.”
           Everyone is silent as everyone turns to their thoughts, the same thing on everyone’s mind. It’s Hobi again that breaks the silence, stretching and yawning as he gets to his feet.
           “Well, that’s that. It’s over. Gentlemen,” he eyes everyone around the room, shuffling toward the hallway where the warmth of his bed calls to him. “It’s been a pleasure working with you.”
           “Wait!” Jungkook also hops to his feet, much more alert than the older boy. “What happens now?”
           There are a few non-committal answers from around the room, but two people remain silent. Meeting eyes from across the space, Jin and Yoongi share a silent agreement.
           Jin clears his throat, and it’s only then that the boys realize that it’s been hours since he last spoke. With a soft smile he utters, “We let her choose. Whatever she wants, if she wants to go back to normal or decides to date someone.” His eyes return to Yoongi, and suddenly the memory of two years prior is laid out before them. “Then…we let her go.”
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           “I’m just saying, if he didn’t want you to find it, he would’ve hidden it in his underwear drawer. Sock drawer is a stupid way to go.”
           You sip at the horchata Gina brought over for you, huffing out a laugh. “You’re so weird.”
           Gina shrugs. “Just saying. So what did you get up to yesterday?”
           Yesterday. You had woken up with red eyes and puffy cheeks from all the crying you had done the night before. Slightly embarrassed but more feeling miserable for yourself, you had crawled to the shower and tried to get your thoughts straight.
           When you emerged, you had a couple of texts to welcome you. They were from Jimin and Taehyung, welcoming you back to the groupchat. There were plenty of happy emojis and balloons taking up the messages, enough to make you crack a smile. You shot back a thank you text, letting out a sigh of relief.
           It was good to be back.
           When Namjoon texted and tentatively asked about the state of your ankle and if you were open to them popping over, you took nearly an hour to decide. Nervous about seeing all of them, cautious because you had no idea what would happen if you were in the same room.
           Who would you radiate toward, without even realizing?
           It was then, when that question popped up, that you realized that you had known the answer all along.
           It was startling, how the answer had been there all along. So simple, yet so unattainable.  
           “The boys wanted to check in on me,” you sigh, glaring down at your ankle. It’s still sore, but much better today. Although it’s safe to say you won’t be flying kites anytime soon.
           “But…?”
           “The thought of all seven of them in my little apartment at the same time was overwhelming,” you admit. “I needed a minute. To think. And I know I’ve had weeks to think about it, but yesterday was the first time I felt like I could see the full picture…if that makes sense.”
           Gina nods thoughtfully, reaching over to refill your glass of horchata. The sun is steadily making its way to the horizon, another day wrapping up. “It does. You’ve been going out with someone different each week, you’re probably suffering from information overload after all of those dates and the confession on the pact…how are you not exhausted?”
           “I was yesterday. I was torn – Gina, I want to go back to normal so bad. Just the way it was.”
           “Ignorance is bliss.”
           You set your glass down, pushing back from the table and crossing your arms. “Wouldn’t that be better?” You muse. “That way, nobody gets hurt.”
           Gina tilts her head to one side, eyes flashing. A smirk forms on her face. “You wouldn’t be saying this if you hadn’t already decided on someone.” She leans forward in her seat, staring into your soul. “Who?”
           You school your features into a neutral position. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
           “No, no. You don’t get to shut me out. You have feelings for someone, don’t you!” Gina points an accusing finger at you, letting out a startled laugh. “You totally do! What went on in your head, yesterday? Or maybe you’ve loved them for a while, and this is what it took to realize it-”
           “I can’t do it, Gina.” Your eyes are wide as you plead more with yourself than her. “I can’t do that to the others.”
           “And what, you plan to just let him go?”
           Dropping your head into your hands, you squeeze your eyes shut. “Do I have another choice?”
           The scrape of the chair against the floor alerts you to Gina rising from her seat, and you expect her to leave. She has every right to, you’re frustrated with yourself as well. However, a second later she’s rubbing your back, urging you to look up. Once you do, she offers you a small smile.
           “You always have a choice.”
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           Gina stays for a couple more hours, offering her support as you blubber on about how worried you are. While your heart is urging you to throw caution to the wind and go after what you’ve wanted for longer than you ever realized before, your mind does a great job of conjuring up different reactions from the others.
           All of them are depressing. Every time you close your eyes you’re met with the crestfallen expressions of your best friends. Scenarios play out in your head, where you’re blissfully happy for a few seconds before everything comes tumbling down.
           “You’ve gotta get out of your head,” Gina chides as she eases off the couch. “You’re miserable.”
           You sigh, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s just…I can’t do anything. I can’t. That’s horrible of me.”
           “They’re grown boys; they knew what they were getting themselves into with this. Just…tell me something before I head out.”
           “…ok.”
           Gina pauses before the door, hands on her hips. “Why him? Because from where I’m sitting, they all love you.”
           The question takes you by surprise, but the answer is rolling off your tongue in an instant. “I want to be loved, yes. But more than that…I want to be understood.” You stare at a framed photo on the wall, solemn. “He understands me.”
           You don’t hear when Gina leaves, the thoughts in your head too loud. Instead you stay seated on the couch, chewing on your lip. Wondering.
           Remembering.
           All the times he’d been there – he was always there for you, how could you never notice? – never drawing attention to himself. Just there. Just in case you needed him.
           What’s stopping you?
           A knock on the door stops your train of thought, and you hobble up to your feet. Swinging the door open you say, “Did you forget something?”
           Jin stands on your porch, clutching a garment bag to his chest. His ears are bright red, set aflame by the setting sun. He’s wearing his glasses, which he pushes up on his nose. “I…no?”
           “Oh!” You step back, wincing a little from your ankle. “I thought you were Gina! I…hey.”
           “Hey.” Shuffling on his feet, Jin looks down at the bag he’s holding, seeming to remember why he was here in the first place. “Oh, here. I know it’s a little late, but I got your dress dry cleaned and…well, yeah. Here you go.”
           His hands tremble a bit, but you don’t comment as you take the bag from him. “Thank you. Your sweater is actually hanging up in my room…why don’t you come in while I grab it?”
           “Can I?” Jin looks down at your doorstep, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I don’t want to intrude…”
           “Just come in!” You call over your shoulder, already heading down the hallway. “This will only take a second. Besides, it’s cold outside.”
           The door clicks shut, Jin stepping inside and shoving his hands in his pockets. You rush inside your room, throwing your dress on a hanger in the closet and scanning your clothes for Jin’s blue sweater. When you find it – grinning at the whale on the front – you pause. Holding it in your hands, you take a deep breath.
           “Hey,” Jin’s voice rings out down the hallway. You catch a slight tremble in his tone, which is mirrored by your shaking hands. “I a-actually wanted to talk to you for a second. If that’s ok…?”
           Clearing your voice of the emotion that’s riding you, you respond. “Just come down here.”
           A second later Jin is tentatively peeking inside your room, giving you a nervous smile. His eyes then land on your dresser, widening a bit.
           “So you did steal my copy!”
           Gasping, you toss Jin’s sweater at him and lunge for the dresser. There’s the pact, out in the open for anyone to see. “I- I was gonna give it back-”
           “I can’t believe you’d steal from me.”
           “It was for a good cause!”
           Jin rolls his eyes, laughing as he snatches the pact from you and holds it up in the air. “Nuh-uh, I’m taking this home with me. You’ve had it for long enough.” He makes a point of folding it up and sticking it in his back pocket, staring down at you with an amused expression.
           Suddenly you’re transported to his living room, dancing in his arms. Staring up at him like he put the stars in the sky while he looks at you like you’re the forbidden fruit.
           Is that why he’s here, now? To finally give in to the temptation?
           From the way the smile slides off his lips, you can tell that he’s remembering the same moment. His mouth opens a bit, looking as though he’s about to speak. After a moment, it shuts. Then he slowly reaches out, arms encircling you as he studies your expression. Waiting for any moment of discomfort.
           The second Jin pulls you into his embrace and you rest your head against his chest, his shoulders deflate and he lets out a long sigh.
           It’s not a sigh of relief.
           “Do you remember the first time we hung out together? Jimin wanted to bring you to the Spring Day set, and it was freezing. We were all complaining about our toes falling off and yelling at Namjoon for writing about such a cold song.”
           You chuckle, nodding. Jin’s voice rumbles through his chest as he continues. “I thought that it was so embarrassing, too. We were complaining like kids in front of Jimin’s pretty friend. I figured that you’d never want to hang out with us again. I’ll never forget how angry Jimin was with us after, saying that we were probably making you uncomfortable. Obviously, we all said that it was stupid of him to bring you to a freezing music video set for our first meeting.”
           Jin tightens his grip, laying his cheek atop your head and swaying gently back and forth. You’re not sure if he even realizes that he does it, but you don’t ask. Not as he’s walking down memory lane. It feels like it’s been centuries since you first met.
           “You know what I remember the most about you from that day?”
           You hum, nuzzling in a little closer. Hanging on for just a moment longer.
           “You never complained. Like, at all.” Jin cups your chin, making you look up at him. He smiles softly, but his eyes are sad. “I thought it was a superpower or something, seriously. You just smiled and joked around with Jungkook and Tae. If you were cold or uncomfortable or even weirded out by us, you didn’t say anything.”
           You roll your eyes, latching your hands behind Jin’s back. “I was definitely weirded out, but I didn’t want Jimin to feel bad. He was so excited for me to meet you guys.”
           Jin chuckles, the sound momentarily warming you up. “But the point is, you didn’t complain. You’ve always been like that. Even now, being dragged on seven dates and having to deal with us figuring out our own feelings, you never once complained. You never backed away.”
           The sadness that lingers in Jin’s eyes has you tightening your hold, wondering how to get rid of that sorrow. Your train of thought is interrupted when Jin brushes back a strand of hair, softly tucking it behind your ear.
           “You are beautiful and a wonder. You will always be important to me, no matter where life takes us. You will always be that person that I’ll drop everything for, ok?” Jin takes another long, adoring look at you before reaching behind him and gathering your hands in his. He slowly pulls away from you, staring down at where he holds your hands. “I might be an idiot at times, but I can tell when I’m in the way.”
           As he takes a step back, you watch as he drops your hands. “Jin, wait,” you reach out, grasping his arm as he moves to turn away. “Jin- Seokjin, what’s going on-”
           “You and Yoongi have that in common, did you know that?” Jin offers you a close-lipped smile, placing his hand on yours where you cling to his jacket. His thumb swipes over your knuckles once – twice – before he’s stepping back yet again. “Neither of you are complainers. I mean sure, there’s the funny complaints that everyone makes. But he has a penchant for suffering silently. I’d say he’s a bit of a masochist, but that’d be a lie. He just cares.”
           Jin has made it to your doorway now, where he pauses and leans against the doorframe. He crosses his arms, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought, a faraway look in his eyes. “I think he doesn’t know what to do with it, all those feelings. He just cares so much, about everyone. For you.”
           “Jin,” you gasp out, “what are you doing?”
           One corner of his lips pull up in a smirk. “Me?” He shifts his weight to his other leg. “Letting go.”
           “What are you even talking about?”
           “Don’t get me wrong, I intend to complain. You’ll get an official complaint in the mail soon enough, just give it three to five business days to get here. But I realized something a little while ago: complainers always find some new to complain about. And while that sucks, it also means that they move on. They find something new, no matter how long it takes.”
           He keeps looking at you with that sad smile, and it’s ripping the ground out from under you. You want to scream, throw something, or perhaps dissolve into tears. But nothing happens. You just keep breathing.
           In.
           Then out.
           And Jin keeps speaking. He’s rambling now, something he does when he’s nervous. His brows are still furrowed, and you wonder if he’s making this up as he goes. If the only thing he knew what that he had to find a way in, only to find a way out.
           “As twisted as my logic sounds, I think it gives me hope. Eventually, I’ll be ok. Probably be complaining about the weather or maybe even a girl in no time. Just give me some time, and I’ll bounce back.”
           “Jin,” you croak out. “…you don’t complain, not about these things. Why are you doing this? S-stop doing this.”
           “But it’s like I said: Yoongi doesn’t complain. Jagiya, I know him. Better than you do.” Jin closes his eyes, pinching them shut before opening them again. “He’ll never get over you. I mean it. And if my logic holds true…that means that you’ll never move past him, either.”
           Folding his sweater over his arm, Jin steps back into the hallway. You step forward, your stomach churning.
           “Seokjin!”
           He hesitates for a single heartbeat, almost looking like he’ll turn back around and declare it all some twisted joke. Like he’ll pull you back into his arms and admit that he’s been inside his memories for the past two weeks, replaying “La Vie en Rose” as he lies awake at night.
           But he doesn’t. He refuses to look at you as he marches down the hallway. As he walks, he continues to speak.
           “I was angry that night, when you called him instead of me. When you accidentally deleted your essay. He left, and I was stuck at home, pining after you like some teenage boy. I think even then, I knew that it wouldn’t be me in the end. But I’d die trying.” He laughs, joking but it doesn’t come off very funny.
           It’s when he’s reached the door and goes to pull it open that you call out to him again, sounding like you’re on the verge of tears. “But it was you, wasn’t it?” You run a hand through your hair. “You wrote the note, o-on the back of the pact.”
           With his hand on the doorknob, Jin glances back at you over his shoulder. Now you understand why he couldn’t stand to look at you a moment earlier. Those are tears glistening in his eyes.
           He looks at you for a long moment, eyes so clear and bare that you can see the very moment he lays down his weapons and admits defeat. “Would it change anything?”
           He’s already twisting the doorknob, but just before he opens the door, he hesitates. Waiting for an answer, you realize. Some small part of him still pulses with hope, even after all he’s said.
           You can’t give that hope.
           “There’s a difference, you know,” Jin mumbles, eyes dropping. “Just because I loved you first doesn’t mean I can love you the best. I think sometimes the world forgets that.”
           And then he’s gone.
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           In.
           Out.
           Perhaps the most shocking development has been the fact that you’re still breathing. When Jin leaves your apartment, the sky doesn’t fall. Your heart, while aching, doesn’t shatter into a million little pieces. The quiet hum of your dishwasher continues on, oblivious to all that’s transpired.
           A few tears slip down your cheeks, which you quickly wipe away. When your dishwasher buzzes, you drift over to it as though in a daze. Wiping your hands on your dishtowel, you move to open the dishwasher.
           But it’s that dishtowel with stitched stars that Yoongi gifted you forever ago. Stars.
           You are the stars I’ve been reaching for ever since that night.
           Snatching the towel from where it hands off your oven, you fumble for your phone. Dishes long forgotten, you bring the phone up to your ear and nervously tap your foot. “C’mon, c’mon…”
           “Jagiya?”
           “Hobi!”
           “Hey, what’s up? How’s your ankle?”
           You chew on your lip, struggling to regain composure. “I- yeah. The ankle’s fine. Look, I need to cash in my question now.”
           Hobi chuckles on the other side of the phone. “That’s what I was afraid of. Wanna come over to the studio?”
           “Be there soon.”
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           It’s dark outside, countless stars winking down at you as you hurry inside the Hybe building. You throw a glare up at them, wondering if they were in on it the entire time. If the stars have always been aware that Min Yoongi had no interest in them, much preferring your company to the twinkling lights in the heavens.
It’s your first time in here, the boys having recently moved into the new building. As such, you’re instantly disoriented. At a loss for where to go, you call Hobi.
“Hey, where…?”
“Turn around!”
You whirl around to see the elevator doors sliding open, Hobi hopping out. “Hey, you made it!” He instantly pulls you in for a hug, which you gratefully receive. “Everything ok, jagi?”
It’s then that you realize how you must look. Tear-stained cheeks and tired eyes don’t make for the best combination. “Oh…yeah. I’m alright.”
Hobi doesn’t believe you at all, but he doesn’t push it. Not here, out in the open lobby. Instead he pulls you into the elevator, punching one of the buttons. “Long day?”
You laugh quietly, leaning up against the wall of the elevator. “A little, yeah. What about you? What are you up to?”
“Oh, we’re recording a new Japanese OST. Wanna listen to it once we get up there?”
“Is that even a question?”
It feels unbelievably good to be here with Hobi, falling into an easy conversation despite the nervousness coursing through your veins. Once you reach the eighth floor, Hobi leads you down the hallway toward a closed door.
“What’s that?” He asks, pointing to where you still hold the dishtowel in your hands.
You blink, not even realizing that you brought it in with you. “Oh…um…part of my question, I think?”
Hobi chuckles, pausing outside of the door. “I was wondering when you were gonna use that question.”
At the end of your date with Hobi two months ago, he’d allowed you two questions about whatever you wanted to know. You only asked one, wanting to keep the other for a future time. You never thought it would lead to this.
“Ok, let’s head inside.”
Your eyes widen, but Hobi doesn’t notice as he pushes the door open and strides inside. The sight that greets you makes you want to sink through the floor.
Namjoon and Jungkook sit in front of the recording equipment, while Taehyung and Jimin lounge on the couches at the back of the room. Yoongi is busy on the other side of the glass, eyes closed as he raps into the mic. His dark hair is straight, kissing his brows while he clenches his fists at his sides,
You’re frozen in place as suddenly you’re surrounded by his voice. It’s lilting, more like singing than rapping. The words coming from his mouth stop your heart.
“Don't have to be right, just wanted you to stay the way you are, kindhearted, always smiling, but-”
“Hey!” Taehyung jumps up from his seat, alerting everyone to your presence. “You’re here!”
Jungkook swivels around in his chair, wide eyes crinkling as he grins. Namjoon quietly greets you, cheeks pink as he struggles to focus on the task at hand.
It’s Jimin that notices how lost you look. “Everything alright?” He ambles over to you, bending his knees a bit to look at you. He grabs your shoulder, eyes scanning your face. “Jagiya? Want to sit down?”
But you’re still clinging to Hobi, one hand wrapped up in the fabric of his jacket. “I…actually, Hobi, weren’t you gonna show me your new studio?”
You look back at Hobi, aware that everyone in the room is now staring at him as well with confused looks. You give Hobi a pleading look, but not before you see someone on the other side of the glass.
Yoongi stands before the microphone, frowning as he looks at you. As you lock eyes, he tilts his head to one side and mouths a single word.
Jin?
“I…uh, yeah. Yeah, let’s go look at it first and then come right back, right?” Hobi says, the confusion clear in his voice. Thankfully, he doesn’t question you and instead steps back through the door. “Be right back, guys.”
Just before you walk away, you turn back to try to communicate to Yoongi that you’re here for him, not Jin. But he’s gone, the side door to the studio still swinging from where he walked out.
           Your head is still spinning by the time Hobi heads into his own studio, hardly pausing to admire it before he’s whipping around to face you. The second he closes the door, he’s crossing his arms and giving you a worried look.
           “What was that all about?” He asks. “What’s going on?”
           “Hobi,” you croak out. “Hobi, I need help. I need answers.”
           Plopping down on his cushiony swivel chair, you squint at him. You can feel a headache coming on.
           “I can’t give you the answers if you don’t ask the questions, jagi,” Hobi chides, pulling up another chair to sit in front of you. His gaze catches on your wrist. “You still wear the bracelet I made you?”
           You pause, glancing down at the bracelet. “Of course. Everyday.”
           Hobi smiles softly to himself before leaning back and letting out a long sigh. “Ok. Tell me what’s going on.” He eyes the star-spangled dishtowel still in your hands. “I assume this is about Yoongi?”
           “I…how did you know?”
           He nods to the towel, chuckling softly. “He came to me asking if I knew how to embroider. I didn’t, but I got him a little embroidery kit to practice with on tour. It cracked me up when he ended up buying plain white dishtowels and would spend his time backstage embroidering little stars on them. I didn’t know he was planning on giving them to you at the time…do you guys have some sort of inside jokes with stars or something?”
           You stare at Hobi like he’s just grown a second head. “He what?”
           “What?” Hobi blinks. “Did you not know that he stitched them?”
           Of course not. When Yoongi had gifted you the dishtowels, you’d thought it was sweet, if a bit odd. You even remember joking with him about it, saying that he’d paid off the neighborhood grandma to do it for him.
           “No! I never knew that! Why would I…why would he…”
           “So…you don’t have an inside joke about stars?”
           You sigh, throwing a hand over your eyes. “How could I be so blind?” Slumping down in the chair you ask miserably, “I mean, it makes sense, I guess…he’s done so many things-”
           At this, Hobi stops you. “Like what?”
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           There is a long, long list of things that Yoongi did for you that he never told the boys.
           “Or there’s that time he passed up on his Laker’s tickets because I had that end-of-year project due, and I was worried that nobody would show up to my presentation.”
           You remember that with a jolt. You had to give a twenty minute presentation on the effects of addiction, something that hardly seemed like a riveting topic. The general public was invited to the lecture hall, but despite your valiant efforts handing out fliers and sending e-vites, you were convinced that it was going to be a flop.
           It was. There were about seventeen people scattered about the hall that typically seated three hundred. Your hands were shaking and you thought you might burst into tears on stage because you felt like an utter failure, but then movement caught your eyes.
           Sneaking in and taking a seat on the very back row, sat Yoongi. His bucket hat was pulled low across his eyes and a couple of body guards tried (and failed) to looked inconspicuous as they took seats near him. When you stuttered, he help up a thumbs up and quietly encouraged you to go on.
           Jin’s words from earlier come back to you. I think he doesn’t know what to do with it, all those feelings. He just cares so much, about everyone. For you.
           By this point, you’re exhausted with all of the things Yoongi has done over the years. How blind you’ve been to his unadulterated kindness. Hobi senses it, seeing your shoulders droop. He falls silent, allowing you to sort out your thoughts before you speak.
           “Does he still want me?”
           Looking up at Hobi, you allow yourself to feel the question at you repeat it. “How could he still want me? After how blind I’ve been to my own feelings?”
           Hobi smiles softly, leaning forward to take your hand in his. He gives it a reassuring squeeze. “Jagi…I don’t think Yoongi completely understood his own feelings most of the time.”
           “But he’s done so much-”
           “That he has. But when you love someone, you don’t do those kinds of things for gain. He didn’t do those things to make you fall in love with him.” Hobi laughs to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. “He did it because you’re the right person. And when you’re with the right person, it’s simple. Does he still want you? Simple.” He shrugs. “Yes.”
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           Yoongi is gone, Jungkook tells you when the boys eventually come knocking at Hobi’s studio. They sit in a semi-circle, pondering all that they’ve learned. Hobi had quickly explained the situation to them, and despite your worry, nothing happened.
           Nobody yelled, nobody banished you from their life.
           Instead, Jimin had laughed. Laughed.
           “Pay up, loser,” he’d commanded as he elbowed Taehyung. Taehyung whined and said that he’d Venmo him in a second.
           “Wait, you made a bet?” You shriek. “About who I’d go for?!”
           The boys all laugh nervously, Namjoon slowly edging toward the door. You snap your fingers at him, glaring. “You don’t get to leave, Kim. Were you a part of this?”
           “I…yeah…”
           “But Yoongi’s gone,” Jungkook repeats. “Aren’t you gonna tell him?”
           You sigh. “How am I supposed to tell him? Just march up to him and throw myself at him?”
           Namjoon shrugs. “I mean, that’d work for me.”
           “Yeah,” Jungkook chuckles darkly. “Just go for that.”
           Hobi rolls his eyes, leaning forward in his seat. “Just do whatever you feel comfortable with, jagiya. But do it soon. You’ll psych yourself out if you wait much longer.”
           It feels like you’ve time-traveled back to middle school, gossiping around the lunch table about your crush. Somehow, that’s comforting. While there’s a bit of awkwardness in the air, you can’t help but feel like you’re back.
           “Oh,” Taehyung snaps his fingers, mouth open in a little ‘o’, “but whatever you do, make sure there’s cookies. Or some sort of dessert.”
           “What?”
           “You know, to celebrate if he accepts your confession, or to make you feel better if he rejects you.”
           Gasping, you jump up to your feet. You point an accusing finger at Hobi. “But you said that he’d still want me!”
           “He does! Taehyung, take that back right now.”
           Tae stands up, his grin softening as he steps forward. That’s when you see how much they’ve been hiding behind their playful demeanors. For you. To help you.
           Wrapping you up in a hug, Taehyung squeezes you tight. “It’ll be fine. Don’t you worry.” And then, quieter so no one else can hear, “We’ll be fine.”
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           You’ve never considered yourself to be a nervous baker, but here you are. Sliding another cookie sheet into the oven while two batches are cooling on your kitchen table.
           By the time you made it home last night, you could hardly keep your eyes open. While sleep did come to you relatively quickly, you were wide awake the second the sun crested the horizon. Wide awake, and a nervous wreck.
           Is this how the boys felt when they came to take you out? If so, they deserve a medal of bravery. You’re still within the comfort of your own home, but you can hardly breathe properly.
           Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that Yoongi just sent you a text that he’s on his way. Bouncing on your feet, you run your hands under the cold water in an effort to rid yourself of clammy palms. Drying your hands on the infamous dishtowel, you smile softly.
           Everything is going to be ok.
           Yoongi doesn’t get there for a long time. It’s long enough that you’re worried, and you pick up your phone to call him. A second later, you hear another phone ringing just outside your door. Hardly believing it, you rush toward the front door only to pause.
           “Here we go.”
           Swinging the door open, you come face to face with a guilty looking Yoongi. He’s halfway back down the stairs, but freezes in his steps as he hears the door open.
           “Yoongi?” You’re absolutely bewildered. “Where are you going?”
           Letting out a breathy laugh, Yoongi slowly begins trekking back up the stairs. “Oh…um…I thought I left something in the car.”
           “That’s a lie, isn’t it?”
           “What, are we not lying to each other today?”
           Smiling softly, you shake your head and open the door a little wider. “No. Not today, I’m afraid.”
           Something akin to fear flashes in Yoongi’s eyes at your words, but a second later he’s back to normal. “Smells great. Are you baking cookies?”
           “I’ve baked about a thousand, yeah. Can’t stop. It’s a condition.” You ramble as you turn and head into the kitchen, hoping that he’s following. The sound of his footsteps confirms that he is. “Want some?”
           When he doesn’t answer, you turn around to see what’s going on.
           Yoongi stands beside your table, fists clenched in the sleeves of his cardigan. He’s practically staring holes into the sweet treats, brows furrowed as he takes a deep breath. When he exhales, it’s shaky.
           “I’m fine, you know,” he grinds out, not looking at you. “You didn’t need to bake me cookies. I’m not…I’m not mad.”
           “Mad? What?”
           “Isn’t this why you brought me over? To let me down easy?” His voice is quiet, yet every word is like a bullet. “That’s why you were at the studio last night, wasn’t it? You were talking to the others about Jin.”
           Your heart stops.
           Is that why he disappeared last night? He thought that you’d made your decision, and it wasn’t him?
           “Yoongi, that’s not-”
           He’s already stepping back, refusing to look at you. His eyes are trained on the floor as he stumbles back toward the entryway, looking like he’s doing his best not to full out sprint. “I’m fine, jagiya. I know you’re worried sick about us, but don’t worry. I already told you not to worry, don’t you remember? I shouldn’t have said all of those stupid things on the beach…is that why you brought me over? You felt like I needed some sort of special treatment?”
           You take off after him, unable to believe what you’re hearing. “Yoongi, listen to me. This is for you. It’s all for you.”
           But he doesn’t hear you, he’s busy fumbling with his shoes that he slipped off beside the door. His hands are shaking, but he still refuses to look at you. “I’m so sorry for worrying you,” he says earnestly. His black hair is falling in his eyes, but it doesn’t shield his pink cheeks from your eyes. “I…wow, this is humiliating, isn’t it? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come-“
           “I invited you-”
           “-but I didn’t want to worry you even more, so I came over – why can’t I get these shoes on?!” He collapses to his knees, dropping his head into his hands as he finally gives up on his shoes. “Even that was a stupid mistake,” he whispers, never one to raise his voice. “I bought these for our date but then I realized that they would be stupid to wear to the beach.” He laughs at himself, no humor in the sound.
           You take a look at the dark shoes, which appear to be made of leather. They lace up, but it’s obvious that they’re not broken in yet. Crouching down beside Yoongi, who keeps his face hidden in his hands, you struggle to find words.
           “They look nice,” you mumble, voice raw. Have you been screaming? Or perhaps it’s the emotional exhaustion, finally setting in. “Very pretty.”
           “I wanted to wear them for you. Just once.” Taking a deep breath, Yoongi sits back and brings his knees up to his chest. He back presses against the back of your couch.
           And you’re here. Sitting beside him in the entryway to your small apartment. So far away from where you thought you’d be.
           As Yoongi glares at his shoes, you notice just how bloodshot his eyes are. Like he hasn’t slept in days.
           “Isn’t it odd?” He muses, tired eyes dragging over to meet yours. You’re unable to breathe as he stares at you without the barriers he usually puts up for himself. For the first time you can ever remember, Yoongi looks at you and lets you see everything. Perhaps he’s too tired to mask the longing anymore.
           Your voice comes out as nothing more than a whisper. “What’s odd?”
           He inhales sharply before breathing out slowly. “After everything, I’m still trying to impress you.”
           The small confession strikes you like a bolt of lightning, and you screw your eyes shut. Once the feeling passes and you’ve composed yourself, you open your eyes again to find Yoongi’s again on his shoes. He nibbles on his bottom lip as he reaches out and eases his shoe from your hands. Then, he slips it on his foot.
           As he begins to tie the laces, you open your mouth to say all of the things you should have a long time ago.
           “I see you everywhere I go.” Your eyes are trained on his deft fingers as he pauses for a moment before continuing to lace up his shoe. “For a long time, I didn’t know what to do about it. I just brushed it off as a side effect of our friendship. In my mind, it was better to ignore it than to face it, because then what? I could never have you.”
           His hands are trembling again as he finishes his right shoe and reaches for the left.
           “You’ve always been so good. There whenever I needed you, there just in the off-chance I called. On stand-by, like my own personal assistant.” You chuckle, perhaps a little insane by this point. “And I convinced myself that whatever that was between us, it was enough. It was just gonna be me and my seven best friends for the rest of my life. But then…things started to change. You guys challenged me to view you as something more.”
           He’s nearly finished tying his shoe now, your time is nearly out. But he fumbles, unable to quite finish.
           “That night you guys came up with the dating idea, I knew I was walking into a trap. I wasn’t worried about anyone crossing any boundaries, I was worried about me making the biggest mistake of my life. Sitting there I think I was starting to realize I had feelings for you, and I was one slip-up away from hurting everyone else.”  Now he stops breathing. But his fingers are still slowly working at the laces. “I cared for you then, but I loved you when you showed up at my door seven dates later.”
           He’s just managed to finish tying his shoe when you stop speaking. He doesn’t speak, only staring down at those laces with wide eyes as he processes what you just said. You take his silence in stride, still talking. Still confessing.
           “I didn’t know how to tell you that I was torn between the what-if’s and the what-is. That I was drowning in the possibilities everyone was offering me, but that when I was with you I was finally able to see the world for what it is. But you just said, ‘I know’ and I thought that you did. I figured you knew, because you’re you, how could you not know what I was thinking? You always do.”
           Yoongi stops nibbling on his lip long enough to voice a question, his voice hoarse. “The world for what it is…what is it?”
           You take courage in his curiosity, deeming this a good development. “It’s only tolerable because you’re in it.”
           He falls silent again, deep in his thoughts.
           “Yoongi,” you call softly, heart hammering against you ribs. “Could you look at me for a second?”
           He does, eyes wide with confusion.
           Those eyes, the ones you see everywhere you go. Crinkled up in laughter, joking with you over something stupid. Proudly watching you from the back row as you present to a small crowd. Filled with adventure as you sneak your hand into his pocket at the haunted house, inviting you to dive inside.
           It was those eyes that you saw looking back at you that night with Jungkook, out of breath and lost as suddenly it wasn’t Jungkook kissing you, but Yoongi. That forbidden dream become real as you squeezed your eyes shut and allowed yourself to pretend for a moment longer before pulling away.
           It’s now, looking into Yoongi’s dark eyes that hold so much promise, that you find it easier than ever to say what you should have said that night when he showed up to help you with your essay. Looking frazzled but ready to swim the entire ocean if it would help you. Instead, you had just given him a lingering hug before excusing yourself to go to your room and sleep.
           Sleep hadn’t found you that night, because you had been awake and asking your ceiling why a man like Min Yoongi would do anything for you.
           “Yoongi,” you whisper. “I love you.”
           He doesn’t move, but just blinks. Once. Twice. You see the doubt swirling in his eyes, so when you reach out to pull at his shoelace, you repeat it.
           “I love you.”
           One shoe at a time, you untie the laces. You undo the pain you’ve caused him, break down the barriers he put up.
           “I love you.”
           You continue to repeat the words, focusing on his shoes and not daring to look up at him just yet. Not until you get his shoes off, because then you feel like he can’t run away.
           So you undo the knots and repeat those words with a shaking voice. “I love you, Yoongs.” When you go to slip the shoes from his feet, he helps you, kicking them off and reaching forward to place his hand under your chin and make you look at him.
           Yoongi is crying when you look at him, the tears falling silently. A part of you wonders if he even realizes that he’s crying.
           “You…” he swallows, those eyes so wide. “…love me?”
           It’s simple.
           “Yes.”
           Yoongi furrows his brows again, trying to understand everything that’s happening. “But…Jin.”
           There will be time to explain everything. For now, you answer the question Jin asked you yesterday, standing before this very door. “The pact, the note. It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change how I feel. He came over yesterday to ‘let go’, he said.”
           Something like recognition flashes across Yoongi’s face at those two words, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he nods slowly, trying to follow what you’re saying. “And you feel…”
           “I feel very in love with you, yes.”
           What happens next is burned into your memory for the rest of your life.
           Yoongi sits up, reaching across to you in a flash, pulling you until you’re falling forward. He lets out a shaky breath, pulling you into his lap just like he did on the beach. And as he holds you, he laughs. He’s still laughing as he plants a soft kiss to your forehead. He’s grinning as he presses his lips to your cheeks.
           Tears are still falling down his cheeks as he brushes his lips against your own. Hesitantly, as though worried you might pull away and tell him it was all a joke.
You return the kiss fervently, speaking in a language only you two can understand. He pulls away, staring down at you as though surprised to find that you’re really here and not just a figment of his imagination.
“I love you,” he whispers. And then he’s kissing you in earnest.
Breathlessly, desperately, and with a touch of insanity that only comes after spending two nights wide awake and heartbroken. As he holds you tight and kisses you harder, you know that he’s healing himself with each touch.
           One kiss, one shattered fragment of his heart sliding back into place.
           Your hands wrap around his neck and wind into his hair, pulling him impossibly closer as he gasps and whispers those three words again. “I love you.”
           When the smell of burnt cookies pulls you apart several minutes later, Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist and sticks to you like glue. He rests his chin on your shoulder, planting a few lazy kisses along your jaw that sets your skin aflame. “Mm, I love you,” he mumbles between kisses.
           Placing the burnt cooking atop the stove, you chuckle. “I know.”
           “Agh,” Yoongi groans, burying his head in your shoulder. “I thought you meant something different, ok?”
           “I know.”
           “Yah! I was trying to be understanding of your feelings I thought you had for Jin!”
           Reaching to turn off the oven, you grin. “I’m never letting you live that down.”
           As Yoongi feigns annoyance while shoveling cookies into his mouth, you marvel at all it took to get to this point. Yoongi notices your attention, puffy cheeks turning pink. But he doesn’t shy away, instead he silently offers you a cookie.
           “So…” he begins, a smirk playing on his lips. “I’ve been thinking.”
           “Dangerous.”
           “Well, I know how much you like bad boys.”
           “Mm, true.”
           Yoongi laughs along with you before continuing. His eyes sparkle like the night sky, drawing you in. “Are you free this Saturday?”
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thank you all for reading! I’ll be back with an inside look at the pact as well as answering any questions you may have. Feel free to send your questions in! 
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