#i had forgotten exactly how much legit talk about God there was from him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

btsslowburnfic · 3 years

Text

The Arrangement Chapter 3

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: Interview Round 1 and our first encounter

Previous chapter here

----------------------------- You bartended through the weekend without incident. You had honestly kind of forgotten about your strange encounter with Mr. Rude Dimples as you geared up for another work week. You arrived at your office job early Monday morning and headed to the breakroom. You loaded up on coffee and some fruit someone had sat out and went to your desk. At exactly 8 am you opened up your emails. You scanned through the work correspondence answering a few quick questions and queuing up some to answer after you checked on a few things. You then opened up your personal email and almost fell out of your chair when you saw **Google Calendar invitation: Job Interview. Very Personal Assistant. BTS Corporate Accept/Decline**

You opened it and lo and behold there was an invitation to a job interview this Thursday at Grindhouse Coffee Shop. You shook your head, so maybe it was a real job. Maybe. You were relieved to see the interview was in such a public location. You went into your work calendar and marked yourself out of office for an hour and half. You never took any time off so it wouldn’t be a problem. How does one prepare for a job interview for a personal assistant? You wondered.

You opened an incognito window and started researching job interview questions and also looked into what exactly BTS Corporate was. It was a media company who seemed to dabble in everything from modeling to music. You recognized two of the models immediately, JK and V. They were both well known in the modeling world and graced the covers of many magazines. Ok so this was a legit company. Cool. Cool. Oh my God, you thought. What if the position was to be an assistant to a model who was as hot as those two? You remained calm. You had bartended and been around hot dudes before. It would be fine. You would be fine. You kept the incognito window open as you returned to your actual job and continued to email and message colleagues about your projects. You also skimmed through BTS Corporate’s website to learn more about the company and spy on some of the other models and talent who they employed.

The rest of the day went by without incident and you were excited for two reasons: one, you had a job interview at a place that paid more than your two of your current jobs combined, and you had Monday night off from bartending. You headed home, looking forward to spending time with your family.

You rarely got to see your brother, who was in his second year of high school, and your sister, who was finishing up elementary school. You walked into the apartment, slipping off your shoes and work bag.

“Hey everyone!” You yelled and headed into the living room. Your sister and niece were doing their homework on the coffee table side by side. “Hey girls. How was school today?”

You got some noncommittal “goods” out of them and left them to their schoolwork. Your brother would be at cram school for another two hours. You walked into the kitchen where your aunt was preparing some food.

“Hello Aunt Vi,” you said, scooting around her towards the refrigerator to make yourself useful. “How can I help?”

“Hello [y/n]. If you could get the rice cooker ready and prepare the chicken that would be great.”

“You got it,” you responded, dutifully beginning the tasks you were assigned. You loved your Aunt Vi and were so grateful she was able to take the three of you in. The apartment was cramped and she did her best to make sure you all never felt like you were imposing. But, it was hard not to feel that way given the circumstances. You found your mind wandering back to the job interview. With that much money you could easily afford to either pay for a larger apartment for all of them, or pay for your brother to live at the school’s dormitory. You tried not to let yourself get too excited about it, you still weren't sure if it was a real job. And you had already had more disappointments in the past 5 years than you could deal with. You tried to keep it from making you pessimistic, but it definitely made you wary of most situations. Especially ones that seemed too good to be true.

“Suho called this afternoon,” she said quietly while chopping green onion.

You involuntarily flinched. “Oh? I’m sorry. I didn’t give him this number.”

“I know I know. He asked for you and wanted to talk to your sister.” She paused, “I told him to go to hell.”

It was always weird for you to hear your very proper aunt curse, but when it came to Suho, there was no escaping the rage she felt. And rightfully so.

You nodded your head. “Good. I’ll see about getting our number changed again.” You said, feeling like it was your responsibility.

She didn’t say anything in response and the two of you continued to make dinner together silently.

--------------------------

The rest of the week flew by. Office job, bartend, check on your siblings’ homework, check your bank account, pay your aunt, skillfully balance every cent in your checking account, sleep, caffeinate, repeat. Before you knew it, Thursday afternoon had arrived.

You walked into the coffeeshop. Grindhouse Coffee was across the city, near Club Tokki, so you had to watch your time carefully. You immediately noticed a large concentration of very attractive women with perfect faces and perfect tits. Damn. Were they here for the same position?

“Tokki,” you heard a voice call towards you. You turned and saw Mr. Rude Dimples walking towards you with a tablet in hand. Oh God, you had a nickname? “Rich Asshole.” you waved, smiling “It’s nice to see you again.”

He guffawed, clearly not expecting that. “I am conducting your job interview Tokki,” he loosened his neck tie. “You should watch your mouth.”

You raised your eyebrows. “I’m pretty sure my mouth is what landed me this interview since it clearly wasn’t my good looks” you gestured to the space around you. “And it’s ‘[y/n]’ not Tokki.”

He swiped his tablet. “Got you all checked in. I’ll let you know when it’s your turn.” He shook his head as he walked away.

Yoongi sulked at a booth in the cafe, his delicate lips pressed firmly into a pout. He refused to take part in the interviews or look at the resumes, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. So far he was unimpressed. It was like walking around work: a bunch of models who all looked the same. Who the hell would believe he would marry one of these women? He sighed. You shouldn’t judge someone based on their looks, he reminded himself. He kept one earbud in, lazily eavesdropping on the people in the cafe. A group of three women were sitting in the next booth over.

“I wonder what kind of job this is. It sounds like an escort service but like also a secretary.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I wonder if it’s for one of the models.”

They continued to prattle on about the job, how Namjoon has approached them, and stuff like that. Yoongi scanned his phone and looked over, Namjoon was interviewing one of the girls right now. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking out over the cafe again. Maybe he would grab a coffee. He pulled out his other earbud and got up to order his usual iced Americano.

“I totally think that’s what it is. What kind of loser has to pay for someone to date him?”

“Yeah. And it’s definitely not that guy,” she gestured over to Namjoon. “He’s hot. This guy is probably hella ugly. Like rich and ugly. Which I guess I could get over for the price tag.” The girls all laughed.

Yoongi felt his face grow red. That’s what all these women thought about him. Some rich loser idiot desperate for their attention and willing to sell themselves off for his and BigHit’s attention. He didn’t even want this. He didn’t need this shit. He headed towards the door. Fuck this place. Fuck these girls. Fuck Namjoon.

You looked up from your seat by the door to see a man around your age walking over quickly and pushing the door open hard. You shrugged, he must have realized he was late or something. You looked back to where he had been sitting and saw he had left his earbuds sitting on the table. You got up and walked over and saw that he had actually left his very expensive earbuds. Shit. You could probably catch him if you tried. You picked them up and headed for the door.

“Where are you going Tokki?” You heard Namjoon say as he got up from the interview table, clearly done with his latest interview.

“I’ll be right back.” You yelled, “Probably!” You amended. You had been spending the past fifteen minutes talking yourself out of the interview. You knew your office skills were mediocre, your mouth got you into trouble all the time, and you were so not as pretty as every other girl in there.

You peered out onto the sidewalk looking for the black hat and black outfit. Damn it. Wait. Across the street. You waited for the traffic signal to change and then ran across the street. By the time the signal had changed he was far ahead of you. “Hey!! Hey you!” You yelled, ever so inelegantly across the sea of people. There was no way he was going to hear you from where you were. His head was down and he was definitely in the zone. But, you were running and he was walking so you finally caught up with him by the next block. “Hey, you,” you pulled gently on the back of his jacket. “You…”

Yoongi turned to see what was happening. He had heard a woman yelling but assumed she would have been talking to someone else. He saw a girl around his same age and height standing there, panting slightly like she had just exercised. He was still upset from the whole cafe incident, leaving him short tempered and just wanting to get somewhere private. “What?” He asked tersely.

You stood eye to eye with him. This guy was good looking. And kind of rude. Oh well, you thought he had been in a hurry when you started chasing him. “Here,” you held the earbuds out in their case. “You left these on the table.”

He looked at you for an extra second, suspicion in his eyes. “Thanks.” He took them from you and relaxed slightly. “At Grindhouse?”

“Yeah.” You fan your face. Running in office clothing sucked. Ok. Well your business here was concluded. You stood there for another few awkward seconds.

Yoongi looked at the girl who was standing in front of him. He hadn’t seen her in the cafe, and he couldn’t believe she had run the few blocks to return the headphones. He tried to think of something to say. Small talk was not his strong suit. “Do you work near here?”

You huffed and puffed a little, still recovering from your unexpected jog. “No. I work across town.” You thought for a second. “Well during the day anyways. I do actually work near here at night though at Club Tokki.”

Yoongi put the earbuds in his bag. “What brings you to this side of town then? The coffee’s not that good.” He deadpanned.

You shrugged, “Eh, I’m supposed to have a job interview. I don’t know though. It seems shady and that place was populated with models who I think are also going for it. I think I’ll just get some of that coffee that you don’t recommend and head back to my day job.”

Yoongi stood there putting the pieces together. You were there for that interview. Normal-looking you who apparently already worked two jobs. He sighed, feeling like a creep for knowing more about the job than you did and knowing that it would be working with him. He rubbed along his jawline with his hand, “I don’t know. I think you should go for it. Maybe you’ll stand out.”

You laughed, “Because I’m ugly and sweaty?” You teased, you knew you were normal looking and could be pretty if you did your hair and make-up.

You thought you saw the tiniest hint of a smile as he replied, “Yes. Take your ugly face back there and apply for the interview and do better than those models.”

You rolled your eyes, “That was the shittiest pep talk I have ever had in my life but ok. I’ll march back in there sweating like a pig and do my best.”

“I wish you luck. Thanks again for the earbuds.” He said, giving you a polite wave as he turned and started to walk back to BigHit’s headquarters.

You laughed a little bit and decided, what the hell, you might as well go for it. You returned to Grindhouse, to the seeming annoyance of Rude Dimples.

“Finally Tokki, I was getting ready to give your time slot to the fucking barista.” He gestured to the table.

“Oh my God, you are so immature. How are you the one in charge of this interview?” You asked as you took a seat in the chair.

“I’m the boss of the company Tokki, if you don’t like it you might want to leave now.”

“One: From my research, as President and CEO, Hitman Bang is the boss of the company. You’re the CIO. Two: I’m guessing this isn’t an interview to be your assistant or I definitely wouldn’t be here. Three: it's [y/n]. So let’s get to the part where you ask me questions and I answer.”

Namjoon sat there for a minute, opening and shutting his mouth a few times in shock. He spread his hands out along the table. “Huh. I’ll give you that you actually did research on the company. Well done. Let’s begin.” NEXT CHAPTER

#bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts au fanfic #bts yoongi x reader #bts suga x you #suga x reader #suga x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi scenarios #bts writing

96 notes · View notes

sockit-2-me · 3 years

Text

PART 2

I wanted to ask him to let me go, I’ll forget his face, he’ll forget mine and we love on. But I felt paralysed. I felt so small, this man is probably only a few inches taller than me but right now he is a mountain.

The corner of his mouth smiled as he said, “Talk to me,” he placed his fingertips on my back, so lightly I almost didn’t feel it. His touch was too gentle to be true. I know that this is the calm before the storm.

I’m questioning all my morals right now because I’m thinking about how attractive he is. I’m thinking about whether my body looks good for him. These intrusive thoughts disturb me. I could be dead in minutes and I’m thinking about sex.

His fingers glide along my back, under my tshirt, he walks slowly around the table, examining me like a doctor. Trailing further I feel him attempt to jam his hand down my jeans.

“No.” I say quietly, there was no real effort or power behind me, I’ve almost surrendered already.

“Ah she speaks,” he’s standing behind me but I could imagine him rolling his eyes.

I take a deep breath, and try to control the trembles in my voice, “please, let me go, I won’t tell the police. I won’t remember anything, I promise.”

“My dear, I want you to remember everything. You missed out on all the fun last night, it wouldn’t be fair, would it.”

“Last night?”

“Yes baby, I thought you had forgotten, you’re much less feisty today.”

“What did you do to me,” this time I burst into tears, I can’t believe a few seconds ago I was romanticising this. Im helpless. Im hopeless. Im lost. Im a damsel in distress.

His smile feels more sinister now, I can feel him feed on my fear, he loves that im dying.

“I’ll tell you all about it tonight. There’s just some things I’ve got to attend to…” he trailed off like he was distracted.

“Please-“

“Listen to me. Carefully.” This is the most serious he’s gotten yet, “If you’re going to beg me or try to run away or fight me - I will fuck you until you’re paralysed and I will keep you here for the rest of your fucking life - do you understand?” He pauses and I make a muffled yes sound, he continues. “Now that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do that anyway,” he slaps my arse gently, in an endearing fashion, “you like that don’t you?”

The last part startled me. I expected the threats. I am very afraid but I think I’m beginning to dissociate. I’m calmer than I was when he wasn’t here.

“Don’t you?”

“I’m sorry, don’t I what?” I couldn’t focus as my mind was so loud and chaotic.

“Oh my fucking god. Look at me for fuck sake… there. Are you listening to me?”

The eye contact we hold feels too intimate, like he’s my boyfriend. I don’t want to look away. Maybe he senses my humanity and fear and sweat and he lets me go. Maybe he can read my mind and knows exactly how I feel. He seems like he can read my mind. He feels larger than life.

“Alright fuck it, I’ll tell you about last night, it’s a shame you’ll never get to see the videos, they are… something else…. Anyway. Me and my guys found you walking through the high street, you were rather drunk. Do you remember that part?”

“I don’t…”

He chuckles, “Naw, your little body really takes the drugs well then hm,” he scans me up and down again before he starts to remove my clothes.

“Please don’t-“

“What did I tell you about being disobedient? I want the best for you, just do what I say. Don’t make me do this to you.”

As he speaks his motions get more anger fuelled, but he calms down. This is a man on the edge and I can not test his limits. I know he’s going to hurt me but I think I can make it out of this okay.

“It was me, and my two mates from the bar. You asked us for a lighter and you were very flirty. Not just with me. With all of us. You told us how your feet hurt, and how you really wanted to smoke a joint, how drinking made you forget your problems, how you were sad that your ex never called…” All this information seems legit. I can’t believe it. I approached him.

“So we invited you to smoke with us. You trusted us blindly, like a child being offered candy. It was cute to see you so happy, you love attention, don’t you?”

I blush.

“Don’t you? Tell me you love it.”

I don’t know what to say.

I let out a little squeal as he digs his nails into my skin, “I’m sorry I’m sorry I love it.”

“You love what?”

I pause.

“I-“

Fuck! He scratches all along the backs of my legs, it’s only then that I realise he pulled my jeans all the way to my bolted down ankles.

“I love the attention!”

“Aw baby girl loves the attention. What a spoilt little girl…” when he talks like this I find myself swooning, again I’m enjoying something that should be killing me inside.

“We brought you here pretty quickly. I drove. You were tied up and shoved in the footwell, you’re so small it’s fun to force you into little places or positions… But of course this was all consensual. As is this,” he noticed my confusion and continued, “ahh yes we prepared for this moment,” he takes out his phone and shows me the screen.

He plays a video.

It’s me.

It’s like watching a ghost on camera.

I’m so drunk, I’m laughing, having fun, I’m sitting on one of the other guys’ knees I think. My top has been lifted up so it’s above my tits, my hair is a complete state and so is my makeup.

The audio from the video plays loud and clear, “yes omg why are you guys being so weird about this! Just do it! This is me giving you permission! You can have me!” I’m smiling from ear to ear in the video. Some famous last words. Somehow I feel less safe than I did before. Is this video a way of saying I consent to everything from now on? All of a sudden this feels very long term.

“You see? It’s such a shame you can’t remember, you had so much fun. You did things you’ve never done before. And we were so proud of you. I am so proud of you.”

It feels genuine. He’s proud of me. It feels good.

“Wh-what did we do?”

“Oh my dear, I can’t tell if you’re enjoying this not,” he raises a brow and I look away, am I afraid or just ashamed?

“I’ll tell you, it’s okay. You deserve to know when you get spitroasted for the first time. You know what that means little one?”

I looked at him dead in the eye as I nodded - I never thought I’d be that girl.

“Good girl. You did a very good job, considering. I fucking loved force feeding you my dick. Watching your pussy get destroyed, your eyes rolling back, your body getting weak, as your face got violated with my cock… it was something else. Oh yeah, does your little pussy hurt?”

I am shocked. I don’t know what to say.

“I don’t know”.

He chuckles, “let’s find out then, shall we?” He asked as if I had a choice.

He pulls my panties down to my ankles, the anticipation is an extraordinary feeling. The fear is incredible.

“Oh no baby, you’re all wet. Was daddy’s story getting you all excited? Do you wanna hear about how I used your fragile little pussy? You wanna hear about how I choked you till you passed out and proceeded to fuck your unconscious body?”

My legs began fo twitch, I couldn’t help it. I felt like a sex slave. I felt like all my dirty little secrets and guilty cravings are now defining me. How can I be in such a place and feel this way. I am wrong.

“Did y-“

“Yes. And we didn’t cum in you, we’re saving that for tonight, we don’t want you to be drunk, it just wouldn’t be right.”

My breathing got heavier then.

“Baby, don’t worry, you want my cum inside you. You want it. You were catting for it last night. He tapped my pussy, you want it so bad,” he started to play with my push and I realised he might be right, “my god you’re so fucking wet. Fuck.”

I can tell in his voice how bad he wants me now. And I know that I want him too.

So I make a light moan sound, not necessarily a good or bad moan. I need to play it right here.

“Baby girl you’re too enticing,” I hear him starting to unzip his clothes, and just like that the panic kicks in.

I start shaking myself as hard as I can, lashing every way possible to get out. He’s going to get me. What if he has an sti, what if he gets me pregnant, what if he doesn’t let me out? And there’s 2 more of him somewhere.

“Shh…”

He mounts me.

He’s bearably heavy, but I keep squirming, I’m tensing my legs together and screaming.

He takes his shirt off and sticks half the sleeve in my mouth, but I just spit it out. His eyes dart to mine and I learn my lesson, I stay quiet, the way he looked at me chilled me to the bone. Submission feels like the only option, I don’t know what he might do.

“Thank you baby, now be a good girl and relax for me. I know you want it, I can feel you dripping for me.”

He rubs his dick over my pussy, I am wet, I can’t deny it. He keeps rubbing, almost like he’s teasing himself. He wants me so bad I can hear it in his voice, feel it in his motions.

He puts it in.

He keeps pushing and pushing, now it’s all the way in. It hurts. I don’t think I’ve ever had a dick this big before, I can’t see it but it feels uncomfortably big. I hold my breath and clench my fists. This isn’t gonna be quick.

7 notes · View notes

avengersassemble-fics · 4 years

Text

Stark’s Girl

part 02/015 “she loves the wind in her hair”

masterlist

previous part // next part

work count 3k

an: yall i legit am so emotional over this part?? i wanted to capture the innocence that it still there about howard and maria, and really just reminisce in all that.. it’s emotional. its a tear jerker honestly. pls lemme know what you think.

“This isn't really a negotiation,” Steve said first. Both were still in their positions, him in this chair and you on the other side of the room on the bed. You stared at him plainly, but shrugged your shoulders.

“I’m not talking about it unless he’s in here,” you replied, pressing the pillow tighter into your chest.

Steve understood, but the SHIELD agents on the other side of the two way mirror wouldn’t. They had said no already, but you were stubborn. Hard headed. Just like Tony. Just like Howard too. It made him feel giddy on the inside while keeping that straight face on the outside. It also made him consider how well minded you were considering all the years you were with Hydra.

“So we have two options, either he’s in here and I tell you everything you want to know, or we can sit here and play this staring game,” you paused tilting your head, “which is it going to be Captain?”

Oh you were good. Your face showed no sign of emotion, and he knew you weren’t bluffing, not in the slightest. His face matched yours, but he was the first to break the eye contact and looked to the two way mirror. He didn’t mind Tony being in here, so if they would just get their heads out of their asses, this could move on a lot smoother. He knew Tony wanted to hear your story, and he did too in all honesty. He wanted to know what you remembered from that night.

There was a click at the door, and both you and Steve shot up. You stayed in your place and you both watched as the door opened and Tony came in. You swallowed the lump in your throat, but a small smile played on our lips. You wanted to run to him and hug him but your legs kept you there.

You were scared.

Tony’s gaze was on you as he took a step inside the room. His orders were to keep his distance, they didn’t know if you were dangerous, if this was all a play to get close to him and kill him. But he knew you could never, but on the other hand he didn’t need them to pull him out of this room. He needed to be here. Steve motioned for him to take the chair he had once occupied and Tony nodded, slowly taking a seat. You mimicked his motions and sat back onto the bed, hugging the pillow once more.

Steve could see the look in your eyes change when Tony had entered, they softened, and he couldn’t tell if the way your eyes were wet meant you were going to cry. No, he didn’t think you would, you wanted to be strong for him. For Tony. Steve took his place against the wall, letting the two siblings focus on one another.

“Can you tell us what happened?” Steve asked. Your eyes went to him, reading his face. His face was soft and made you feel safe. You could share the story with him, and whoever else was behind that mirror. You looked back to Tony.

“My memory of that night is..not the best,” you started in a whisper, “I remember daddy driving fast down this road, mommy was telling him to slow down. She never liked it when he drove fast with me in the car,” you remembered. Tony smiled to himself at the memory. He had forgotten how their mother would playfully slap Howard on the shoulder and tell him to drive like it was Sunday. Howard would toss a smile over his shoulder to his daughter in the back seat and wink saying something along the lines of “she loves the wind in her hair” or anything to get a giggle from you.

“Everything happened so fast, one minute we were on the road, the next all I saw was flames. It hurt,” you paused, rubbing at your wrists, “the glass had cut me, the seatbelt felt like it was..choking me. I remember unbuckling myself and trying to reach the front seat but I can’t remember past that anymore. It just ends.”

Steve nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. His eyes watched you talk, and occasionally he would look to Tony to gauge his reactions. But Tony was in a state he had never really seen. He was just listening.

“The next thing I really remember was waking up in a room like this, but smaller,” you glanced around, “there was a woman there. She told me I was in an accident, and they were going to help me feel better. I asked them where my mom and dad were, and they told me that they would be there soon. And then I asked if my brother was coming too,” you paused and averted your eyes to the ground, “they told me he would be there soon too, he couldn’t wait to see me.”

You smiled sadly to yourself, “They did help me feel better. But each day passed, and no one came. I kept asking how much longer it would be before I could go home and she would smile and tell me soon. Just the word soon. But that changed quickly. I don’t know what they did to me but I can’t.. I can’t remember those next few years. They’re just gone.

I was in Paris when someone approached me on a covert mission, they told me I was beautiful and that I looked like this man. She handed me a magazine and on the cover was you,” you nodded at Tony, “They said it was the craziest coincidence and I thanked them. They let me keep the magazine. My first offense with them was when I went dark and sat in a cafe to use a laptop and researched everything there was about Tony Stark. And it hit me like a train. All those memories came back, and they did not like that.

I was interrogated for days, I knew because they had taught me how to measure time by where the sun and moon positioned itself. They thought I couldn’t see it but the tiny crack in the window was just enough. They kept asking me what I knew and I said everything. They didn’t like that.”

You sighed, “On the last day they brought a laptop in, and when they opened it there was a feed. I couldn’t see straight, but it was you. You were on the screen, giving some kind of press release junk, and they could see me relax. They told me that one of their people was there now. You’re easily accessible and they could kill you in a second's notice if I ever tried to leave or contact you.”

Tony was quiet as he watched tears swell in your eyes, “I don’t.. I don’t want you to think I didn’t try, God, Tony I wanted to. But they would kill you. They often reminded me of that, that you would be gone just like mom and dad,” you felt the tear fall, “when I remembered it all that’s all I could think of. Everyday I thought about you. I thought about how you’d hold my hand when we’d go on those walks to the park, until people started to notice and you’d pick me up and run as fast as your legs could take you. We’d hide behind that huge old tree stump in the Peterson’s yard until the coast was clear, and then when we would make it to the park you’d push me round and round on the merry go round until I got sick.

I thought about how you’d try and come into my room quietly when I was sleeping when you’d get home late from your fancy school, and lay in bed with me. You always thought you were so sneaky but the truth was I was waiting up for you those nights. Mom would let it slip you were coming home and I left the door wide open for you those nights. You’d kiss my head and whisper goodnight and fall asleep and I would too.”

Tony’s eyes were tearing up at that point, Steve’s too in fact. You smiled sadly to yourself and locked eyes with Tony, “I just want you to know that everyday I thought about how much I loved and missed you, mom, and dad.”

Tony shook his head, and he stood making his way over to you. Tears had fallen down your cheeks and he kneeled in front of you and wiped them away with his thumbs, “You don’t have to tell me, I know. I know how much they loved you, and how much I love you.” You nodded as he spoke and he took you into his arms, and this time you wrapped your arms around him too.

Steve Rogers watched the scene unfolding around him, and a pang of guilt filled his stomach.

—————

There were images coming in from all over the world. Tony had taken it upon himself to run your face through facial recognition technology to learn when and where you were all these years. None of them were state side, but you had popped up in Berlin, Paris (like you had mentioned), various parts of Russia, and the list continued. Each picture he could see your face changing, getting older and older, and even hidden under different hairstyles and clothing from rags to the most beautiful of fabric, your eyes still stayed the same. Even if some images were fuzzy.

He rubbed his face and glanced at his watch. It was 2 am. He had stayed with you for most of the day and into the late hours of the night until you had grown tired. You both laid in that bed, his arm around you and your head rested on his side, and he listened to you fall asleep. You looked so calm, and he kissed your head and carefully peeled himself from your sleeping body. He didn’t want to leave you, but he had to get to work on being able to bring you home with him.

Home. Where would that be exactly? The tower didn’t feel like a good fit, but he also no longer had his home in Malibu. He was working on something in northern New York, maybe he could have you help him with that. You had always been creative when they were younger, he thought he picked up a thing or two from you. With Pepper running Stark Industries, he could use a woman’s touch.

Either way, he had fought with the agents about letting him take you with him as soon as possible. They didn’t agree with him on the idea that he should take an obviously trained secret agent back under his care, without the finishing reconditioning being complete. He obviously didn’t agree and said that you’d be leaving with him whether they liked it or not. They said that if he tried that then not only would you be considered a threat, but he would too. He believes they knew that would make him think twice about his next actions and unfortunately they were right.

He couldn’t put you in harm's way. Never again.

Tony stood from the desk he was occupying and stretched his back. He was sure Pepper was asleep, but maybe she’d be awake for him to talk things through with her. She had become his voice of reasoning, and if she wasn’t there then that fell on Rogers. Or Romanoff. He had already asked so much from Steve though, and of course he couldn’t wake him up this late. Old men needed their sleep.

Tony made his way back to the room he was given, it was small but it worked for the time being. He slid a card against the panel on the side and the door opened automatically, and he smiled at the sight of Pepper sitting upright and working on something in her lap.

“You’re up late,” he commented, walking in and unbuttoning his shirt. Pepper smiled at him, setting her things to the side as he crawled into bed. Tony rested his head in her lap, and she began to stroke his hair.

“I could say the same for you,” she threw back and him and he grabbed her other hand to kiss it, “what’s going on in that mind of yours, Tony?”

On the other side of things, you had woken up in a sweat. The room lights turned on low when you had shot awake. You desperately threw the blankets off of you and rested your arms on your legs to breathe deeply. The nightmare wasn’t new to you, but with the past days events fresh in your mind, something just bothered you more about it.

The door beeped, which you related to someone being there. You didn’t know if they lingered to give you a moment to compose yourself, but when it opened the person in the doorway was..surprising. Steve Rogers took one step in before pausing, as if looking for permission.

“Captain Rogers,” you managed and he took that as an invitation to come in, “you have impeccable timing.”

“I was-“ he cleared his throat, realizing how this was going to sound, “I was in the other room, going over today when I heard you wake up. I wanted to check on you.”

You nodded, more to yourself than him. You ran a hand through your dirty hair and sighed.

“I had a nightmare.” You said simply. Steve nodded, putting his hands into the pockets of his pants.

“When I came out of the ice, it took me awhile to readjust to life, I still am in a way,” he started, “I think the hardest thing was sleeping in a soft bed after that many years. It’s—“

“— not normal,” you said in unison. He nodded and you offered a sad smile.

“Do you still have them?” You asked, and Steve shook his head without hesitation.

“Sometimes, not as much anymore.”

You looked from him then to the bed you were sitting on, and you motioned to him, “Would you like to sit?”

That took him by surprise. You looked at him with kind and curious eyes, and he felt himself drawn to that. But a part in his mind told him to tread cautiously, but he nodded and took the steps closer to you. He sat on the edge of the bed, leaving a comfortable amount of space between you two.

“I spent a lot of my time thinking about how different my life would’ve been if I wasn’t in that car that night,” you started off, your fingers tracing lines on the fabric covering your legs. Steve found himself watching, and listening to you speak.

“Tony he’s gone on to do great things, and even become a superhero to others other than me,” you chuckled to yourself, but it stopped and so did your fingers, Steve’s eyes went back to your face, “what’s going to happen to me?”

You asked him honestly, your eyes locking with his. Steve didn’t know how to answer in all honesty. The thing was no one knew what exactly you had done all these years. You mentioned missions, and he had also seen the way you reacted to certain things. Were you like Bucky? Or something else? His silence to your question made you continue.

“Captain Rogers—“

“Steve. You can call me Steve.”

You nodded, “Steve,” you tested and he offered a nod, “the things that I’ve done won’t be taken well by people. I’ve extorted world leaders, tortured people for information, and.. have had to go to extreme lengths to cover my tracks. Murder wasn’t off the table,” you said the last part in almost a whisper, “I didn’t want to do those things but I wanted to stay alive. But now my greatest fear is being locked in here. Never being free.”

Steve carefully placed a hand over yours, and you looked at him with curiosity. He was comforting you.

“I promise that Tony would not let that happen to you,” he paused, unsure if what he was about to say was too much, “and I promise that I won’t let that happen to you.”

You smiled, and it made him smile in return, “You are a kind man, Steve Rogers.”

“Everyone deserves to live their life freely. I had a friend back in my time,” he paused and released your hand, but you turned to him to listen with all your attention, “I thought he died back then. When Hydra was found out, I learned that he survived, and they had taken him too.”

“He’s alive?”

Steve nodded, “He’s gone off the radar. I’ve been trying to find him but he’s good. Too good. Every lead we’ve gotten runs cold eventually.”

“Does he have a name?” You asked and Steve nodded.

“His name is James, or I called him Bucky. His covert name was the Winter Soldier.”

He watched your face to see if you had any reaction, but you just furrowed your brow in confusion, “I’ve never heard of him.”

He felt relief leaving his body, but he nodded instead, “All I want is to find him and help him.”

You tilted your head at him, “You want to help others, but what about you? You said you’re still readjusting to things.”

Steve nodded, and took a deep breath and offered a smile, “I learn as I go.”

You nodded, “Will you help me? Can we learn together?”

Two people, two very different situations. But he believed that you, just like his friend Bucky, deserved your freedom. Your life back. He made a promise to himself right there in that instance that he was going to do everything in his power to get you out of there and help you see your life freely again.

He would damn well make sure it happens.

Steve nodded, and you smiled at him like there was no tomorrow. He was going to make sure you got out of here.

----------

tag list - if i missed you or you would like to be added pls message me!

@elliee1497 @iizabxlla @bulbasor-charmander-2020 @littlemoistcarrot

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #tony stark #tony stark x reader #stark!reader #Avengers #avengers fic

487 notes · View notes

coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe · 3 years

Text

Nightmare or Scared To Be Lonely

Quick Tag List: @kuruumiya @spacelizardtrashboys @enigmaticandunstable @nattinngrst @stupidbluegirl

This Passage contains potentially: swearing, violence, blood, angst, whump, fluff and smutty content.

Summary: Kirby addresses a fear that she hasn't felt in a long, long time.

Kirby's POV:

Waking up on the morning of the Twenty-Second, with Roddy's arms wrapped around me was a welcome comfort from what had arisen inside my mind. Thoughts I never dared put to words, I eased myself out of his grasp and did my old morning routine, giving myself a moment to breathe and think through the recent recurring nightmares. It had been at least a year since the last nightmare, twenty years since they started. I thought they had finally stopped, but I was wrong.

Since I was nine, I have had nightmares of being alone in a dark place, usually a forest but sometimes an empty town or city, sometimes even walking through a deep valley. Utterly alone, completely alone, abandoned by everyone except a consistent nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me that I'm not 'normal' enough.

Catching my breath and calming myself down, I look over at Roddy, still asleep on the bed, and I sigh in relief. He's real, he's there, I'm not insane. I look at myself in the mirror, brushing my fingers over the scars on my face and remembering just how I got each of them. I heard a long yawn from the other room as Rod stirred awake, shaking the 'cobwebs' from his mind and I stopped, looking over at him again and smiling in admiration at the rowdy Scot.

"Well, that's a beautiful sight to wake up to," He waved me over, "C'mere baby."

I reached the edge of the bed and Roddy pulled me onto his lap.

"You are so beautiful, don't you ever forget that. I love you, you can tell me anything," He kissed my shoulder, just above the dragon tattoo, "Anything at all."

"Rod" I mumbled, my breathing catching in my throat.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I can tell you anything right, you won't laugh unless it's a joke right?"

"I promise you, I won't laugh at ya."

"What would you do if someone you loved had recurring nightmares?"

"I would try to understand why they keep having them. Why?"

"What would you do if they were scared by them."

"I'd comfort them. What's going on in your head, baby?"

"Rod, I'm scared."

"Why are ya scared?"

"I don't want to be alone. I'm not normal. I'm a fr-"

Rod pulled me into a kiss, pressing his forehead to mine after he pulled away, "You're not a freak. You're my lady and if that makes me a freak for loving you, I don't give a damn. You're stunning and they can all kiss my ass."

"Thank you Roddy, I needed that."

"So, uh, about that Erik guy?"

"What about him?"

"What made you like him?"

"Well, aside from the flaming red hair, the freckles, the green-hazel eyes, the tattoos and his muscles, probably his personality, he made me laugh, he was sweet to me, and he was ballsy enough to wear a kilt and fight in it."

"So, who's better, me or him?" I could hear a twinge of jealousy in his voice.

"Roddy," I whined, "In a different universe, then I'd probably be with him but I'm with you. I will be with you regardless of if this works out or not, for at least the next few years career-wise, and who knows, if this does work out, maybe one day the two of us will have a proper life together. Family. Pets. Kids, maybe. Actually," I stood up and grabbed the keys to my D200, twirling them around my finger for a moment, "I'd actually quite like to have kids one day. That is, of course, if I can have kids."

"Whaddya mean 'if'?"

"Well, I'm a giant, giants have diminished reproductive systems." I muttered out.

"So, uh, hypothetically speaking, if you can have biological kids, if, if ya could, ya know," I looked at his face, his cheeks flush a rosy shade of pink, "Well, if you," he slowed down his words, looking to the ceiling as if asking God above for guidance, "If, you, could, have, bio-log-ical, kids, you, would?"

"Yes Roddy, why was that so hard to ask?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and covered his groin with his other arm, "no reason."

"Jesus, Roddy. If that gets you hot you might end up breeding like a rabbit one of these days."

"With you?" I heard a twinge of optimism in his voice.

"Of course fuckin' not, Jesus, whaddya take me for?" I spluttered out, shocked that he'd even think of me like that, I took a deep breath before explaining myself, "I'm not a very, oh God, uh 'Sexual' being. I don't see the pleasure side of it, I think of sex only through the lens of science."

Rod looked up at me once again, cocking an eyebrow before talking, "Where are ya planning on going?"

"Anywhere with food, wanna come with."

"Actually, before you leave, can I ask you about your family?"

"Sure. What do you want to know?"

"Well, what are they like?"

"Uh, hmm, well, my da's tough, he was raised on a farm and thus is incredibly strong because of his upbringing. My mam on the other hand is like your stereotypical fiery red head when angry but usually she's quiet and peaceful. My da never shuts up, unless he's watching TV, which is when his ears don't work."

Rod's brows knitted together in a confused way, "His ears don't work?"

"As in he shuts everything that isn't the TV out."

"Oh. I see, so your dad shuts the world out when he's watching sports and the like?"

"Exactly, Roddy. Do you want to go get food or not?"

"Well, of course I'm gonna go with ya," he covered his mouth but I could vaguely hear him mumble to himself, "Can't risk other guys trying to get to my lady. No Sir, not her."

I put on my leather jacket, my back to Roddy, unintentionally showing off the Welsh flag painted on the back, once again hearing Rod mumble to himself.

"Where've ya been all my life baby."

"What was that, Roddy?"

"Nothin'," he spluttered out, as if he was shocked that I could hear anything he just said, "Let me drive."

"Rod. It's my D200, I'll drive."

"I know it's your car, but I'm gonna drive us." He said, quickly getting changed into some clean clothes and his usual kilt.

"Why?"

"I wanna treat ya, give you a surprise."

"Ok then, catch." I throw him the keys to the D200 and he catches them in one hand.

We drove out to a small Irish bar and Rod parked nearby.

"This place does the best homecooked fish and chips."

"Oh, really, so they're legit Irish?"

"I think so."

We walked in and the place went silent and I could feel the amount of eyes on the two of us. We got to a small table at the back and ordered full English breakfasts for two.

After a while and several drinks, not one being actually alcoholic, we got up to leave and this meant we had to walk past the main bar.

"Wrestling is fake, you know." one of the drunken idiots slurred out, he had obviously connected the dots of why we looked the way we do.

I bit my lip and tried to control my breathing, Roddy on the other hand…

"What did you say?"

…He was already advancing towards the guy, fists and teeth clenched.

"Rod, we should g-" I stated, trying to keep myself calm.

"NO!" he cut me off, "What did you say?!"

"Wrestlin' is fa-"

Rod's fist silenced the guy with a quick right hook, sending him sprawling on the floor and silencing the rest of the bar patrons.

I dragged Roddy out by wrapping my arms around his midsection and dragging him backwards out of the bar before letting him go.

"That, that fucker."

I got in front of him and pushed him back, away from the bar, "Rod, get in the fucking car before they come out here!" I yelled at him, and holy shit if that didn't set him off.

"I don't give a fuck if they come out here, I'll fucking kill him."

"Rod, let it go."

"No, I will not 'let it go' that fuck needs to be taught a lesson."

"Would you just get in the fucking car?!"

"Would you just fuck off."

"Fine, I will."

I stormed off, Roddy still had the keys to the D200 and I believed I could walk back to the hotel, my mask obscuring my face so people started looking, the fight, the argument and now the fact that people were staring at me. Today can not get any worse.

Oh boy was I wrong, it took two minutes for the rain to start and ten minutes for Rod to pull up in the (or rather, MY) D200. He pulled up and rolled the window down.

"I'm sorry, please get in the car."

"Fuck off, Piper."

"Kirby, baby, get in the car. Please."

I sighed and got in the passenger seat, "Why do you fly off the handle so easily, Rod."

"Why don't you, that fuck was insulting our job, our livelihood."

"Rod," I breathed out a hefty sigh and removed my mask so that my voice wouldn't be muffled, "Rod, I may not have fought the guy but I had to bite my lip and control myself. I had to count to ten in my mind and try not to escalate the situation further. I would have loved to go up to the guy and said 'Hey, the business isn't fake, we do this to feed our kids, but that's the thing Rod. I don't have kids I need to feed, I've been wrestling and working out for so long that I feel like I've forgotten to have a family, or even a life."

The car stopped suddenly and Roddy put his head in his hands, if the car had been any quieter he could have heard the pounding of my heart.

"You're not the only one."

"What do you mean?"

"I think I forgot to have a life. I've been alone and angry at the world for so long that I have forgotten that I'm human, and I need a private life, away from the ring, and for me to have that life, I need someone to share it with. A wife, for example, maybe a couple kids too. Heh, Imagine that, Roderick Piper, family man, forget it."

"Rod?"

"Yeah, Sweetheart?"

"Rod, I don't want to be alone."

"I know, baby."

"Rod?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about storming off earlier. I love you. I don't care how much this makes me sound sappy, but I need you in my life, I need that Scottish fire. Americans are dumb and the British are the British, and well Scots are the fiery, hot blooded warriors that I've grown up knowing but never being around until Erik. God, I just, I want to have a home, Roddy, and a family of my own."

"I wonder what our kids would look like?" He sounded like he had zoned out, but what he was mumbling to himself made me realise he hadn't zoned out, "What would we name them?"

"Rod, what do you think of the name, 'Enfys'?"

"What does that mean?"

"It's Welsh for 'Rainbow'. I'm not suggesting anyone name their child 'rainbow' I just think it sounds pretty."

"Why do Welsh names have to be so weird?"

"I'll walk back to the hotel if you insult my homeland again, boyo."

"All I'm saying is that there's a lot of 'y's and 'u's in Welsh names. Alright, lass."

"Rod, shut up and drive us back to the hotel."

"Make me."

We locked eyes and for a moment I forgot that we had started arguing again, I reached over and stroked Roddy's cheek, now realising that he had gotten himself beaten up again.

"Kirby, don't ge-"

"Why do you always get hurt, Roddy, don't tell me 'don't get upset' when you're beaten and bruised. Rod, drive us back to the hotel so I can patch," my breathing caught in my throat and Rod realised I was about to cry, "Rod, drive us back to the hotel so I can patch you up."

"Anything you say, just, please don't cry."

"Rod, I can't help the fact that seeing the love of my life battered and bruised, my natural instinct as a protective person is to show my sensitive side as I feel like I've failed to keep you safe."

"I failed to keep me safe, after you left I did the idiotic thing and stormed back into the bar, I got myself thrown through a table."

"Roddy, you fucking idiot. I told you it was better to leave without getting yourself hurt. Why didn't you listen?"

"Don't you go pulling the 'I told ya so' technique on me."

"Why not?"

"I've heard it my entire life, that's why."

"Well, maybe if you listened to it once in a whi-"

END OF NIGHTMARE or SCARED TO BE LONELY

#wrestling fic #Lucifarians

3 notes · View notes

normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

Text

I'm ignoring my responsibilities in favor of watching the All Malec Moments video compilation so get ready for a livewatch no one asked for

Hodge is so incredibly wrong about everything he says about Magnus and it's kind of impressive because all he says is heavily supported by the Clave's files, which. Is proof of how great Magnus is at manipulating them and having them think exactly what he wants them to, tbh. Especially considering that as much as Magnus closes off emotionally, he was always very caring and kind to all other downworlders and warlocks, like, they all know they can trust him, he was named HWoB, he has a thousand kids, he took them all into hiding, etc. But the Clave and circle members are still 100% sure he's a super greedy lothario who's good for nothing but partying, and like. Obviously it's because they racist but they have an intelligence system and a file full of pictures and information and it all seems to support what Hodge is saying about him. So like Magnus was quite literally living a double life, with a whole personality he put up for shadowhunters and enemies, and another for his allies and friends, and even that one isnt 100% him because he was still trying to protect himself by closing himself off from relationships. and thats fucking impressive like my man is so smart i love him

Their first official talk is so funny magnus literally goes "I'm magnus" and Alec goes "Alec" and then he smiles and then he just goes. "Oh yeah right we should uh we should go to the hmm youhavebeautifuleyes what's it called hm" and its hilarious because they exchanged three (3) words and Alec is already all lost because Magnus is just That Beautiful. also all Magnus has to do is introduce himself and Alec smiles for the first time in 4 episodes like bro. bro. seriously. help him

he's SO frustrated when Alec doesn't get the "i love a dirty lair" flirt like he does that little eyebrow raise and hes just like "what the hell i thought that was GOOD" but Alec's head is legit playing wii music

Magnus pays izzy for "defending the warlocks" i had forgotten about that and it makes me so soft ;-;

Magnus and Izzy were just vibing with magnus asking her what presents Alec likes and clary immediately interrupts to ask about the memory demon like homophobic from day one i guess

Magnus is positively impressed by the way Clary goes "I'll do anything to save my mother" you can see how much he values loyalty right then have i mentioned that i love him

we talk about the "I'm talking to you" part a lot but we never mention how Magnus just throws that one and yeets off with clary not even waiting for a reaction he's just like that's RIGHT bitch you have beautiful hazel eyes too! do with that what you will i am now summoning a demon goodbye forever

the second him and Clary are away from the rest he tells her not to trust anyone and to be careful, like... ugh he cares so much it's unreal and again very deliberate, flirt a little, give izzy a necklace, throw in some innuendos, make it seem like it's all very innocuous so no one bothers to follow them or listen in when he goes away with Clary alone, and then immediately warn her about the clave when he gets away from the others. like he cares so much and he's so good at keeping that visible only for those he wants to it's astounding, my man is so talented and i hate that he had to learn to do that to survive but god i admire him and how committed he is to helping others too. like he could say "welp who cares it's dangerous imma go fuck off" like ragnor did but not only did he stay but he had a huge vulnerability with all his generosity and he never gave that up not for a second, even as he closed himself off from having any close friends or family or lovers, he never was anything if not generous and kind

the way he deliberately calls Jace shadowhunter in the most uninterested and even lowkey condescending way after the "pretty boy" incident idndjdndi we stan a king

the way Alec and magnus hold hands to summon the demon and even Magnus seems a bit shocked at the intensity of the sound and the bond that they make like. obviously they have their little staring contest and Alec is doing the Lightwood Intensity™ thing but like you can see Magnus frown just slightly and be a little confused because it was so strong right off the bat. even the sound of when they hold hands is louder than when the others do, like you can just feel their connection and the way magnus' magic flows so freely through Alec like god the soulmate energy tbh

Alec has a full body jerk when they hold hands too and he's the only one like damn we get it u 2 r vibin get a room

Izzy going "you ppl are pathetic" straight to the hets is so funny especially after Alec reacted to holding magnus' hand like he had gotten a 1000W electric shock or something. but i get the feel maybe she did that deliberately so they wouldnt pay as much attention to Alec's reaction too

the special effects were truly so bad like we all knew this but damn

Jace is such an asshole like Alec made it to kill the demon because it was you know about to seriously hurt them all and Magnus had just said that he couldn't contain the demon for longer (and like we know that Alec is the only one who ever cared if Magnus overexerted himself out of the shadowhunters but like bro this affects you) and Jace just???? shoved him??????? against the wall???? like a fucking piece of shit??? they should have let valak kill him tbh

the first time magnus calls him Alexander is when he calls Alec to see if he wants a drink and it's just like very clearly a thing that's supposed to be between them two? like he never did it when there were others nearby and i dig that

the fact that when asking Alec out he said "it was nice getting to know you, you seem sympathetic" like he could have gone with a lot of better more flirty adjectives but for a second the truth slipped out and he said what he thought - that while Alec was objectively you know tall and strong and all what really attracted him was the way Alec clearly gave a fuck whether or not Magnus was struggling with his magic to keep the damn demon at bay. and that was before the magic sharing shit too when Alec proved him right by cleaning up his things and saying that he had exerted himself enough for one day. like so many ppl see Magnus as the All Powerful Son Of Asmodeus Who's Also There To Service Shadowhunters and Alec just shows the faintest signs of caring about his wellbeing and he's immediately drawn to him like damn Im sad

also maybe this might be why he asked Alec to come so he could draw from his strength specifically, like he knew from the little hand holding thing that Alec was open and receptive to his magic (which probably adds to the "sympathetic" stuff like the fact that Alec had such an intense reaction to his magic and yet didnt try to push it back or draw away from it basically shows that he's open to Magnus if that makes sense? not only because magic is a part of warlocks but also because shadowhunters are all taught that magic is like, dirty and evil, so it would be instinctive for Alec to be resistant to demonic magic in his body, but he wasn't, he accepted it so readily and intensely it was a shock to the both of them) and also that he cared enough to support him. he kinda had Magnus' back from the beginning, first killing that circle member in the club before Magnus even saw him, then helping Magnus kill the other, then immediately making it to kill the demon when Magnus said he couldn't hold him back for long. like im aware I'm reading too much into this but s1 malec was very kept to the between-the-lines and its very interesting to me to think what Magnus was thinking, even if obviously on a subconscious level. Alec was showing himself to be open, reliable and caring, and magnus values that, and hes attracted to him and he hasnt had that in a while, because he wouldnt allow himself, but now he's healing and the pull he feels when he finally gets that while being emotionally available enough to accept these little gestures of caring is really strong. love that for him tbh

i go FERAL over everything about the magic sharing shit okay i always have. the way alec shows up and Magnus is kind of falling over, exhausted from trying to hold onto luke, and Alec immediately runs to support his weight and make sure hes okay? and magnus even as he was about to fall over never had his magic falter, my man couldn't keep his balance but still wouldnt come close to stumbling and risking luke's life further for even a second. so when Alec gets there he's just quite literally having his back, supporting his weight, when even Magnus didnt care about that (which like. unhealthy) and was focused on luke? and like Magnus can focus on luke because Alec is there to give him his support and make sure he's fine and how long's it been since he last had someone to do that?? and it's clearly alec's first instinct and like we know Jace or even Clary wouldnt fucking react like that. and then they have this ridiculous fucking staring contest again like we get it alec you're gay panicking at Magnus' beautiful eyes but like pls? and then we get to the most important part which is TAKE WHAT YOU NEED

like JDNDJSNSKDNDJDBSHSBSUSNSISNSIBSZJBZUZBSJSBSISNSSINSIS *SCREAMS INTO OBLIVION, SENDING SELF OUT OF EARTH'S GRAVITY ZONE*

his reaction is just SO intense and immediate he's just like "take what you need" he just offers himself fully to help Magnus just like that, no hesitation, and like Magnus is literally drawing from Alec's strength/life force, there should be some kind of resistance, even from a regular person or a friend, like its a very natural instinct. but Alec just grabs his hand and goes take what you need and he doesn't resist he just lets him do it and lets Magnus take his strength, because he genuinely worries about his wellbeing and safety just because he does, he believes in protecting others and being there for them, same as Magnus, and to Alec it's the most natural thing in the world but to Magnus it's shocking because he's always been self reliant, he has to be, he's been alone too many times and he's been used too many times and he's scared of what he'll let people take from him if he opens himself up because he always gives and gives, and he hasnt even let anyone be there for him to have his back and give him support when he needed in these last few centuries, not fully, not since Camille. but Alec shows up and just immediately cares for him in both small (like later when he refuses to let Magnus clean his couch magically because he knows he's tired and does it himself) and huge (like literally not hesitating before letting Magnus use a super intimate and presumably draining spell on him without putting any kind of limit, so Magnus can not overexert himself like he always does) ways and it means so much to him? and hes just so drawn and attracted to him and suddenly he realizes he's catching feelings that he had forgotten how to, because of course he had been healing and opening up, but he still kept people at some kind of length that didnt allow them to take care of him even if they wanted to, but Alec got that opening and he dived right in, and Magnus realizes how starved he's been for this kind of care and support that he's been denying himself and he decides to chase this, take it seriously, and i just aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and like again Alec doesn't even think twice about it, because he's always been the protector and the support anyway, and he doesn't want to let anyone struggle and also most of that is just him being a Decent Human Being, but just like he got that opening that no one else did before, he met Magnus at the right time and he was sympathetic and caring and that sparked so much in Magnus, made him realize just how much he's been craving affection and care and close contact with people, and being vulnerable emotionally, and all of that that he's been denying himself. obviously magnus is romantically attracted to him but right then Alec is unlocking honesty with himself inside of magnus, he's unlocking vulnerability and not using it against him but really making a good thing out of it, and magnus' forgotten it could feel like this, safe and nice instead of hurting and scary. and again it's such a simple gesture but fuck my boy's been starved!! for so long!!! okay! and he can't help but want to desperately clutch to that feeling because against all odds he trusts alec to see his vulnerability right then (and he deliberately lets him see it further when he gives Alec that drink, tells him he's been closed off, that alec's unlocked something in him. you can see all the sadness and hope and vulnerability in his eyes right then, pretty much for the first time in the show, hes just so open and vulnerable and that's deliberate! first time was a fluke but second time he's choosing to because he wants to see where this goes, and if the magic sharing scene is the spark, the drinking scene is the fire, because they're not in a life or death situation anymore, Magnus is choosing to give Alec a chance by showing him a glimpse of his insecurities and Alec answers in kind, letting Magnus see his own confusion and want, and also again shows his caring and doesn't betray or use magnus' vulnerability and fuck!!! Magnus falls in love right then because this boy stays with him all night and talks, and he sees Magnus look at him with shiny eyes and admit that he's been scared of relationships, and he tells magnus not to overexert himself, and they click and Alec is open to his magic and hes funny and hes compassionate and also passionate about what he believes in, and they have so much in common with the way they hide and care so deeply and protect others always and are so loyal and i just. udndjdndidjdjxnxjxnskxndk SOULMATES god)

I need to lie down actually this was a bad idea I'm not strong enough I'm too feral

Might continue this later who knows. I'll be tagging malec livewatch and also long post as always if you want to filter this nonsense out

#fuck im an emotional bitch this was supposed to be funny and lighthearted!!!#incoherent shit #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #meta #malec meta #aaaaaaa #overflowing trashcan #long post #malec livewatch #anti jace herondale

64 notes · View notes

max-is-tired · 4 years

Text

You Got Me Hypnotized (So Mesmerized)

Pairing: Remile

Characters: Remy Sanders, Emile Picani, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders

Words: 4.458

Warnings: homophobic parents, misgendering, teen pregnancy, getting kicked out, medical drugs, labor mentions plus its aftermath, swearing, freaking out, mentions of death (just Remy being their dramatic self), alcohol mention (two characters get tipsy), past & internalized aphobia -this is mostly fluff I promise

Notes: First of all, an enormous thank you to @adultmorelikeadolt for commissioning this big boi, I fell in love with the prompt almost immediately and I’m super proud of how it turned out. Genderqueer Remy and asexual Emile? How could I refuse?

Writing this was so fun, there are points in this fic where I legit had to stop typing because I was too busy laughing to make any sense. I hope you guys like it at least as much as I enjoyed working on it!!

Commission me!! Buy me a coffee!!

Join my Discord server!!

Of all the things Remy thought they would end up as they'd never considered becoming a single parent at 18.

Their parents had not been happy about it, obviously -when had they ever been when it came to them? They had been furious, shouting and screaming as they’d never done before.

"How could you ever do this to us?" their father had roared, "we already put up with all that genderqueer crap of yours, even when heavens only knows we didn't need to do that. But this? This is outrageous!"

"Get out," had seethed their mother, "no daughter of mine will be such a disappointment -so get out of my sight, and don't you dare come back."

Remy had simply gotten up, biting the inside of their cheek until the taste of iron filled their mouth.

"I was never your daughter," they had said as they threw the door open.

"Glad we agree on something, then," their mother had answered before shutting the door behind them.

After that, with their parents and the kid's father out of the equation, Remy had had quite a hard time figuring out what to do.

Thankfully, they were not as alone as they had previously thought. As soon as Virgil heard of what had gone down, he and his mothers basically adopted them on the spot, giving them a home and all the support they had needed.

Fast forward eight and a half months later, they found themselves hunched on a hospital bed, screaming profanities at the top of their lungs as they pushed and pushed and pushed and tried with all of themselves to not punch the nurse if she said "breathe, you're almost there!" one more goddamn time-

Remy doesn’t remember much of the actual labor, aside from the pain of the contractions and the doctor and nurses telling them what to do. They remember the cry of a child suddenly filling the air, piercing and full of life as they slumped tiredly on the bed, exhaustion hitting them full force.

They remember a solid, warm weight being gently laid in their arms, the doctor's voice barely making its way through the metaphorical cotton that seemed to have filled their ears as they looked at the little human squirming in their arms -their child, the distantly thought, something warm and fuzzy taking residence in their heart.

"Congratulations," the doctor was saying, Remy's brain barely registering his words, "he's a very healthy boy."

Now, normally it would have been pretty clear the doctor was talking about the baby and not the parent. However, Remy was exhausted, 10 hours of labor weighing on their shoulders as they fought valiantly to keep their eyes open just a little bit longer.

So yeah, sue them if they slightly misinterpreted the doctor's words.

“Actually-” they slurred, attracting on themselves the gazes of everyone present as they pointed and accusing finger towards said doctor- “actually doc, you could not be more wrong. Because you see, I may be very healthy but I’m sure as hell not a boy, and if you call me one one more time I will take that folder in your arms and slap you with it. We clear?”

Remy nodded to themselves and closed their eyes, cuddling their child close to their chest with a contented sigh.

“Well, that’s very nice to know,” the doctor said after a moment of silence, making Remy open their eyes once again to glare -why was he smiling like that? And why was Virgil laughing his ass off on the chair?

“However, I’m afraid there has been a misunderstanding,” the doctor continued, barely containing a chuckle himself as he watched Remy’s expression become more confused by the second, “because, you see, with that statement I was, in fact, referring to your son.”

Remy blinked, the gears turning sluggishly in his head as the last minute or so replayed in their head. “Oh.”

Virgil -who until that moment had more or less managed to get his laughter under control- broke down again, falling from his chair as he merrily cackled his lungs out on the hospital room’s floor.

“Oh, heck off,” Remy grumbled.

“I’m sor- I’m sorry-” Virgil wheezed between fits of laughter, not looking apologetic at all- “oh my god Rems I’m never letting you live this down-”

Remy rolled their eyes, opting to ignore their best friend as their gaze moved on their son's little face. Bright blue eyes stared back at them, wide and curious, and Remy felt the warmth in their heart grow and grow until they felt like there wasn’t a place for anything else.

“So… he’s okay? No complications?” they asked, unable to tear their gaze away from the little bundle in their arms.

“Everything went as smoothly as it could’ve,” the doctor assured them, “your child is the epitome of healthy and I’m sure you’ll be able to-”

“Patton,” Remy piped up, wiggling his finger in front of his son’s face and smiling as he let out a happy gurgle, “his name is Patton.”

The doctor hummed, nodding. “Very well,” he said with a smile of his own, “as I was saying, I’m sure you’ll be cleared to bring Patton home very soon.”

“Mhm, sounds perfect,” Remy answered, clearly distracted.

The doctor chuckled, scribbling something in the folder in his arms before turning towards the door. “I’ll leave you two to get to know each other,” he said before heading out, “congratulations on the successful birth, Mx. Astoreth. Now get some rest -you both deserve it.”

A comfortable silence fell into the room, broken only by Virgil’s wheezing breath and Patton’s occasional happy gurgle.

“So-” Virgil said when he’d finally managed to calm down enough to formulate a coherent sentence- “Patton, uh?”

“I think it fits him, don’t you agree?” Remy hums, a tired grin stretching on their face as Patton let out a particularly loud squeal.

“Hello, Patton,” they said, kissing their son’s head, “welcome to the world.”

+++

Remy yawned, sliding the last batch of freshly-baked pancakes on a plate as they idly hummed along with whatever song was now playing on the radio. They padded out of the kitchen and finished setting the table, before moving towards the stairs and cupping their hands around their mouth.

“Patton!” They called out, hoping their son hadn’t fallen asleep while washing his face again, “breakfast is ready!”

Almost immediately they heard a muffled thump coming from the upstairs bathroom, followed by all-too-familiar quick steps sprinting down the corridor.

“Breakfast!!” Patton cried happily as soon as he reached the top of the stairs, throwing himself down into his ren’s arms.

Remy -who had since gotten used to their son’s antics- simply smiled and easily caught the little boy, swinging him around a little as Patton giggled his little heart out.

“Here is my little Pattycake!” they exclaimed, giving him a big kiss on his cheek, “what incredible adventures did my favorite son in the world have tonight?”

“Ren!” Patton squealed, barely keeping his giggles at bay, “I’m your only son!”

“More of a reason to love you!” Remy grinned, relishing in their son’s delighted laugh as they set him down at the kitchen table “now sit down and eat your pancakes, you don’t wanna be late for school.”

“Can uncle Virgil come to pick me up today?” Patton said between mouthfuls of pancakes.

“Wow, you choose him over your own parent?” Remy asked, putting a hand on their chest in mock-offense, “I’m hurt, Pattycake, really.”

“He promised me ice cream!”

“Oh okay then,” Remy snickered in their coffee, “nothing can beat ice cream.”

“Exactly!” Patton agreed, dutifully nodding with his mouth full of food. He almost looked like a hamster, Remy mused while trying with all of their might to not squeal out loud and reach for their phone to take a photo.

“Well, sorry to disappoint-” they finally said, grabbing the dirty dishes from the table and putting them in the sink for later- “but today you’ll have to make do with little old me.”

“Aww, but I wanted ice cream,” Patton pouted, crossing his arms as he glared at the floor.

“I know, honey,” Remy said, carding their hand between Patton’s wild curls and crouching down in front of him, “but there’s a parent-teacher conference today, and I’ve gotta be there for that."

Patton still didn't look up, gaze stubbornly fixed downward. Remy sighed, tapping their chin in thought.

"How about this?" They finally said, nodding to themselves, "I come to pick you up, and after I've talked with your teacher we call uncle Virgil and we all go to that ice cream parlor you like so much."

Patton gave them a furtive glance, and Remy could see their son's pout already start to melt away.

"The one near the dog park?" Patton asked tentatively.

"The one and only," Remy nodded, grinning.

"Can I go play with some puppies too?"

"After you've eaten your ice cream, and if it's not too late, then I don't see why not."

"Yes!!" Patton exclaimed, his previous pouting session completely forgotten as he happily jumped into his ren's arms, "I love puppies!!"

"I know you do, bud," Remy laughed, spinning their son around for a few seconds before gently putting him down, "now go get ready, you don't wanna be late for school!"

"Okay!" Patton said with a big smile, before sprinting up the stairs towards his room.

Remy sighed, shaking their head with an amused smile on their face.

Patton sure was a handful, but god if they didn't love that little ball of sunshine.

+++

After dropping Patton off, Remy got back home and officially started their own day.

They turned on the speakers and connected their phone, their favorite playlist immediately filling the house. Whistling happily along with the music, Remy set to cleaning around a little, washing the dishes and collecting some clutter from the floor with a pep in their step -they may not have been that much of a morning person and have the habit to curse their alarm to hell and back almost every single morning, but there was something calming in their routine that they wouldn’t trade for anything else in the whole world.

After their little spring cleaning was done, they grabbed their sketchpad, laptop, and tablet and half-sprawled themselves on the couch, letting the music wash over them as they set to work on their most recent commission.

When they got up again, it was way past noon and their stomach was very much protesting the lack of lunch. Groaning, Remy put aside their work and stood up, stretching their arms into the air and sighing when some very satisfying popping sounds came from their back. Humming, they moved to the kitchen, enjoying a quick lunch as they idly scrolled down their phone -and sent a quick message to Virgil, telling him to keep his afternoon free for an ice cream trip.

Panic!AtTheEmo: will do, can’t wait to see my favorite person in the whole world

Panic!AtTheEmo: oh and you too ig

Remy let out a snort, typing out a response as they moved to fill their third cup of coffee for the day -they were trying to cut their caffeine intake, but it was a work in progress.

SassyBitch: how very much dare you

Then, they put down their phone and got back to work, setting an alarm to alert them after another two hours -it would do no good to have promised their son ice cream only to completely miss the parent-teacher conference, after all.

+++

Emile sighed, slouching back on his chair as another mother filed out of the classroom with her child in tow. He loved his job, he really did -interacting with the children, even the rowdiest ones, almost always brought a smile to his face and fondness in his eyes- but dealing with the parents was always more tiring that he would like it to be.

Set on enjoying the few minutes of peace before the next parent came in, Emile stood up and stretched his arms upwards, letting out a satisfied hum when some popping sounds reached his ears.

Then, he heard the door open again.

“Mr. Picani!” someone squealed, Patton’s very familiar voice his only warning before a blue blur tackled his leg with an excited squeal.

“Patton!” Emile laughed, before registering someone else’s calling the kid’s name at the same time -one of Patton’s parents, he presumed.

“Patton, you can’t tackle people like that, we’ve talked about this!”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Emile said, kneeling down to give Patton’s nose a little boop - he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face when Patton let out a delighted giggle. The kid was just too adorable not to. “I could never refuse one of Patton’s pattoned hugs.”

“Fair enough,” came a chuckle from over them, making Emile finally look up to greet the newcomer -only to feel himself freeze on the spot, eyes widening slightly as he felt his heart make a little jump in his chest.

“Oh fuck they’re hot,” was the only coherent thought inside Emile’s head as he took in the black leather jacket, black hair framing a very, very handsome face and a pair of gorgeous, deep brown eyes staring back at him from behind a pair of sunglasses.

Yes. Sunglasses. Inside. Emile was too busy having a mini gay crisis to care too much right now.

“Uh-” he said, very eloquently, before scrambling to stand and try to get back some of his composure as he worked very hard on fighting down the blush currently threatening to take over his face -if because of embarrassment or a gayness overload, he was still too busy panicking to figure it out.

“Hello!” Emile said, voice jumping an octave higher as he threw a hand forward to shake, “I’m Emile Picani, Patton’s teacher -How do you do?”

“Nice to meet you,” the other grinned, “Remy Astoreth, I’m-”

“They’re my ren!!” Patton interjected, eyes sparkling as his grin seemed to widen even more.

“That I am,” his ren -Remy- chuckled, briefly kneeling down to scoop Patton in their arms, “so, I hope Patton has been behaving in class?”

“Oh, he’s a literal angel,” Emile sighs, a smile stretching automatically on his face, “he’s always so kind and sweet, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen him helping his classmates. Your son is a joy to work with, Mx. Astoreth, there’s nothing bad I could say about him if I tried.”

“That’s very good to hear,” Remy said, grinning as their son giggled at the praise, “and please, none of that “Mx. Astoreth” thing -it makes me feel old. A cutie like you can absolutely call me Remy.”

Emile squeaked, cheeks burning as he froze like a deer caught in the headlights -not that Remy was much better, the confident expression they had been wearing until that moment melting away in barely-concealed panic as what had just come out of their mouth started to set in.

“Shoot, sorry!” they exclaimed, trying not to jolt the kid in their arms too much in their panic, “I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, oh my gosh, that was totally uncalled for, I usually have a much better filter-”

“No, no!” Emile interrupted their rant, clearing his throat as he gave the other a tentative smile, “it’s okay, really. I, um, didn’t mind, Mx. Ast- Remy.”

“oh- oh!” Remy grinned, before looking away, cheeks aflame, “great, that’s, uh, great.”

Too caught up in their own embarrassment, none of them noticed the little stars quite literally dancing in Patton’s eyes, hands pressed on his mouth to stop a squeal from coming out.

+++

Remy managed to keep their composure up until their scheduled meet-up with Virgil. They managed to keep themselves together -even if only barely, if Virgil concerned glances were anything to go by - all throughout their usual greetings, the quick ice-cream trip and letting Patton roam around to pet dogs, with the promise to not stray too far off.

Then -when their son was finally out of earshot- they finally lost it.

“Holy shit I’m so fucking gay-” they shouted-whispered as they hid their reddening face in their hands. Beside them, Virgil startled, sending his ice cream flying and splattering on the ground.

“A warning next time would be nice, thanks,” he grumbled, throwing a mourning look to his now inedible ice cream.

“Sorry,” Remy said, not looking very apologetic as they peeked at him from between their fingers, “I’ll buy you another one when I’m done having a crisis.”

“You’re an absolute disaster of a person,” Virgil sighed, slouching back on the bench they were sitting on as he ignored the withering glare Remy sent his way, “anyway, care to elaborate? All I know is that you got out of that parent-teacher thing looking like you had just seen a fucking ghost or something.”

“Seen an angel, more like,” Remy muttered.

“... Remy, did you get the hots for your son’s teacher?” Virgil asked in disbelief, barely fighting down a snicker as Remy whipped their head out of their hands to glare at him full force -which would have maybe been intimidating, had it not been for the raging blush covering their cheeks and ears.

“Oh my god, you do!” Virgil grinned, obviously delighted by the sudden turn of events. “Spill. Now.”

“V, I don’t even know where to fucking start,” Remy said “he was just so sweet and polite -Patton introduced me as his ren and he didn’t even blink? Like, immediately used the right pronouns, nothing of that misgendering bullshit.”

“I already like him.”

“I know, right?!” Remy grinned, pushing on with their story -they were not gushing, no ma’am, Remy Asthoreth does not gush, what are you on about. “And he’s so cute?? Like, pastel hair and sweater cute, and he had freckles!! Freckles, V, and also apparently he adores the shit out of Patton which is even worse because I’m way too gay for this! I’m gonna die of gay overload and I’m not even angry about that.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows, blinking. “Oh wow, you really are smitten.”

“Shut your fuck,” Remy grumbled.

“You wish,” Virgil snickered, “so got any plans on how to woo this sweet angel of yours? What’s his name, by the way?”

“Emile,” Remy answered, slumping, “and I don’t know if I even want to pursue this, honestly -he’s my son’s teacher, for crying out loud!”

Virgil hummed. “Well, at least you already know Patton likes him. That’s one less thing to worry about, don’t you think?”

“I guess, but still-”

“You could invite him for dinner at our house!” Patton’s voice piped up from behind the bench, startling the both of them and sending Remy almost with their ass on the ground.

“Patton!” Remy squeaked, blush returning full force as they looked at their son’s innocent grin, “honey, what are you talking about?”

“You should invite Mr. Picani over for dinner!” the boy repeated, grin widening even more, “and then you can kiss and be in love and get married and then he’ll become my papa!”

Silence fell on the little group.

Then, Virgil rolled out of the bench onto the ground, wheezing in laughter as Remy let out a strangled noise, cheeks flushing with a blush so vibrant it could probably be spotted even in pitch darkness.

Patton tilted his head to the side, clearly confused, before shrugging bouncing back towards a little group of dogs to pet them. “Adults are weird.”

+++

Remy knew their son had inherited some of their stubbornness. They’d just never realized just how much, until the kid decided that his only goal for the school year would be to set his ren and his favorite teacher together.

It was almost cute, really, to see him continuously drop some not-so-subtle hints about them going to lunch together -that is, if the simple thought of a lunch date actually happening didn’t reduce Emile to a stuttering mess and Remy to the best imitation of a red tomato the world had ever seen.

(Virgil found the entire thing hilarious, of course. Watching his best friend struggle with their hopeless crush on the cute teacher was quickly becoming one of his favorite pastimes -getting systematically pushed down from the couch by said best friend was a price he was more than willing to pay if it meant he could keep his front seat for the whole she-bang.)

This all went on for literal months, with Patton trying to “subtly” push two of his favorite adults together while said two adults seemed to lose any apparent braincell in their possession as soon as they were in proximity of each other.

Then, tired of playing nice, Patton got out the big guns.

“Ren?” he said one day, not looking up from his coloring book, “if you don’t stop being silly and go to lunch with Mr. Picani, I’ll tell him about the Doctor Incident.”

From the kitchen, Remy let out a startled sputter, fumbling with the pan in their hands as a now-familiar heat started spreading on their cheeks.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Would I?” Patton asked, blinking his big blue eyes at his ren.

Remy groaned, pinching the bridge of their nose. “You’re spending too much time with uncle Virgil.”

Patton simply gave them a dazzling grin, going back to coloring.

+++

Remy -who wanted to keep some of their dignity, thank you very much- did end up asking Emile to lunch the following day, much to Patton’s delight. And you know what? It went even better than they could’ve ever imagined. They talked, they laughed, enjoying the meal and each other’s company with smiles on their faces and warmth in their hearts.

That afternoon, Remy bought their son an ice cream to celebrate -and to silently thank him, since they knew that, without Patton’s constant meddling, they would’ve never gathered the courage to actually ask Emile out.

Fast forward one month -and many other cute dates- later, the two were still going strong, and Emile had grown to become a beloved constant in the Astoreth household.

Like right now, for example.

Remy and Emile were sprawled on the couch, a bottle of wine and two empty plates sitting on the coffee table in front of them. They were enjoying a quiet night in, with Patton spending the night at his uncle Virgil’s place.

Emile let out a contented hum, his head resting on Remy’s legs as his partner gently cradled a hand through his hair. He could feel the four or five glasses of wine buzzing in his blood, leaving him feeling tipsy in the best way. He felt relaxed, at ease, and for the first time, Emile couldn’t feel an ounce of anxiety about being alone at home with someone he was undergoing a romantic relationship with.

For the first time since he could remember, there was no pressure, no expectations, no voices in the back of his head sounding so much like his parents telling him to just stop being such a prude, that he was just leading Remy on and that if he didn’t get over it already then they would leave him for sure, just like everyone else did.

Just like Aaron did.

Emile couldn’t help the little pang of hurt in his chest even after all these years, a tiny, dejected sigh leaving his lips without him even noticing. In some ways, Remy reminded him a lot of Aaron, with their witty humor and flirty, sweet advances -he probably had somewhat of a type, Emile mused as a tiny smile tugged at his lips.

He just hoped Remy wouldn’t walk away too when they finally learned the truth about him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Remy suddenly piped up, startling the man in their lap.

“Uh?” Emile answered, much eloquently.

Remy snickered, and Emile felt a dopey smile form on his lips at the sound. “You were looking pretty deep in thought, babe. Wanna share with the class?”

“I was just, uh, thinking about some things,” Emile said, looking to the side.

“Good things or bad things?”

“... yes?”

Remy snorted, shaking their head with a fond smile. “Fair enough. But please remember that if you need to talk I’m here, okay?”

Emile nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak -he felt as if there was a lump in his throat, his feelings and thoughts running wild in his head and making him feel dizzy as his heart beat wildly in his chest.

Emile was not stupid, he knew very well he had fallen hard and fast for Remy. And how could he have not? They were always so sweet and considerate, showering him with compliments and affection and never raising a single eyebrow at Emile’s quirkier habits and enthusiastic personality.

Emile didn’t regret it, not one bit. He loved Remy, and that was not something he could -or was willing to- change.

Which made the prospect of sharing his secret much more terrifying.

Unfortunately for him though, tipsy-Emile seemed to have even less of a filter than sober-Emile, and his mouth opened before his brain could properly register what he was about to say.

“I’m ace,” Emile blurted out, slapping a hand on his mouth immediately after.

Oh my gosh what the heck did I just say?!, he mentally yelled, bracing himself for whatever Remy would say.

He did not expect the soft laugh that reached his ears, the hand carding his hair not stopping its ministration as Remy didn’t even look up from their phone.

“Nice,” they said, leaving their boyfriend completely dumbfounded.

Emile stared, feeling his already-sluggish brain metaphorically break in his head as he tried to make sense to Remy’s nonchalant attitude. “What?”

Remy glanced down at him, a teasing smile dancing on their lips. “Hun, do you know what happened last time I slept with someone?”

Emil cocked his head to the side, clearly confused. “No?”

“Patton happened.”

Emile blinked. And blinked some more. And then-

“Wait, do you mean-” he suddenly said, eyes widening in realization as he shot up from Remy’s lap, “you gave birth to Patton?!”

“...Yes?”

“Oh,” Emile said, flopping back down, “alright, a lot of things make more sense now, okay.”

Remy snorted, shaking their head as their shoulders shook in time with their laugh. “You’re really something else, Mr. Picani.”

Emile hummed, feeling as if he’d gotten a huge weight off of his shoulders as he cuddled closer to his partner.

A comfortable silence fell over the two, interrupted only by the occasional car driving through the neighborhood as they simply enjoyed each other’s presence.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#sanders sides #remile #remy sanders #emile picani #asexual emile #genderqueer remy #virgil sanders #patton sanders #kid patton #he's a ball of sunshine and i love him #fanfiction #ts fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #maxiswriting

275 notes · View notes

lifeofroos · 4 years

Text

ToN spoilers!!!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is the last ‘Nico in therapy (with different drinks)’ I have planned for. Maybe I’ll write more, but I am not sure. The other two chapters are on my AO3! (and somewhere on my Tumblr too).

This might be crazy chap.3: Strawberry Milk

I had almost forgotten what the strawberry milk carton was supposed to mean when I found it. It wasn’t that I hadn’t thought about my last conversation with Dionysus, but my week had been rather good - it had sunken to the background.

The milkcarton appeared next to my sword after training. According to my schedule, I actually had to pick strawberries - something I did not really enjoy. I had to give Dionysus credit for how he had planned this session.

When I arrived at the Big House, Dionysus was standing on the porch. It seemed like he was thinking about something. He even looked a little sad. He shook his head for a moment when he noticed me, as if to throw the thought out.

‘Nico di Angelo.’

‘Sir.’

‘Do you remember our last conversation?’

I put the straw through my juice… milk carton.

‘Yes, I did think about our last conversation. About… how there are probably more trauma’s than just… you know.’

He nodded. ‘Is it difficult to say?’

I looked at my carton. ‘I think so. I don’t know why, but...’ I shrugged.

‘It’s understandable. It will take a long, long time before it will hurt less.’ He shrugged as well, as if to say ‘I am just telling you’ and ‘there is no use in sugarcoating it.’ I shrugged again. ‘Of course…’ I hesitated.

‘I think what you want to say is ‘of course that comment does not help.’’ That was exactly what I wanted to say. ‘...No.’

‘Can you tell me about some of the other things - concrete things - that the voices remind you off?’

I took a sip of strawberry milk. Just like last time, I was overcome with the thought that it was ridiculous to be telling all of my problems to Dionysus, god of being out of your mind. It took me quite some time before I had gathered myself enough to go on.

‘... Of course, eh, tartar sauce. You know what I mean.’ He nodded, waiting for me to continue. I had already mentioned Tartarus, therefore it was easier to to tell him again. Now, I had to say something about the other things. Other things like losing Bianca, and seeing her in my dreams sometimes, before she chose to be reborn. Other things like Minos chasing me while I was trying to get her back. My feelings for Percy. The whole mess with Cupid. Losing Jason after all that. Did I have to tell goddamn Dionysus of all people about Cupid and… everything else around that topic?

I took a tiny sip. ‘I…’ another one. ‘I… you know…’ I took a very deep breath. ‘Bianca,’ I whispered.

‘That was your sister, right?’ Dionysus’ voice was quieter, more soothing, than usual. I nodded. It felt like I was shrinking. A tear rolled down my cheek.

‘Nico?’

‘Hzm?’ I sniffed, trying to hold back a sob.

‘I am sorry, but I think it is important that we try to continue. This is a difficult subject, but it is one that needs to be discussed.’

I nodded once. He was right. But another part of me (was it me?) wanted to punch him. Or run away. Or both, at the same time. Yet, I stayed, while more tears slowly rolled down my cheeks.

‘She chose rebirth. Is that correct?’

Another nod. How did he even know that?

‘And there was something with king…’

‘...Mi-minos.’ If anybody was going to tell this story, It was me.

‘I don’t know anything else about it.’ He spoke the truth. I could hear it. I know I said I wanted to tell this story, but now I was not so sure anymore.

‘I…’ more quiet. ‘I… wanted to get her back.’ It came out softly, but it came out. Dionyus’ shoulders rose a little. He looked as if this brought back memories for him as well. ‘And Minos… ‘helped’ me. Said he did.’ The look of sadness in Dionysus’ eyes changed to something more like ‘of course. It’s Minos.’ ‘Eventually… with Percy, and the others… I… I…’ I waved with my hands, but it was too much. It hurt to think about it. And what did this guy have to do with any of it?

I broke down. Not with a loud scream, but silently. The tears ran down my face, my nose stuffed up and I felt a faint pounding in my head. It took some time for the tears to stop - before I went completely quiet.

I might have been silent for an hour. At some point, Dionysus took a deep breath. ‘Nico di Angelo?’

‘Eh?’

‘What do you think about… getting a therapist?’

I looked at him. But he was my therapist. Who was he talking about? What was he talking about?

‘There is a therapist for demigods in New York. I can bring you there tomorrow. Maybe… it’ll be easier.’ To talk to her than to me. I shrugged. I did not care. Maybe. I felt bad. My head hurt.

‘I’ll get back to you tomorrow.’

The next morning, I woke up early. There was a box of Minute Maid grape juice on my nightstand. I climbed out of bed and walked out the door, while forgetting to take along the juice box. Dionysus was standing right outside my cabin. ‘Come. You got a free day. We’re going to New York. By car.’

I did not say anything while walking towards the car. Will would want me to eat breakfast, but I did not feel hungry. Dionysus did not do or say much. All he did was open the door for me and make another Juice box appear in my cup holder. I did not touch it.

‘Demigod mental center.’ It made me look up. The drive had taken us... time. How much, I could not tell. I looked out the window. The building was bleak and did not invite me to start feeling hopeful. ‘Ask for doctor Trevorson,’ was all Dionysus had to say. ‘I cannot go in with you. That’s the rules. No gods in the demigod mental health centre.’ Alright, that made sense, I guess. I did not question the fact that Dionysus of all people abided to this rule.

I felt a lot and I felt nothing at the same time. I just did not know, I really didn’t. I did not know while I was waiting for the doctor and I did not know when he came to collect me.

The session was a blur. I knew only one thing when I came out of the room: No. I did not want to be treated by doctor Trevorson. And, I was only being honest, I did not think he wanted, or even knew how to, treat me. As soon as the word ‘Tartarus’ fell, it was over.

Dionysus was waiting in the car, seemingly deep in thought. I wondered whether he had gone anywhere else or if he had just spend all the time waiting. I slipped back into my seat.

‘How did that go?’

I looked at him. Apparently, that was enough. ‘Than… we have to talk about other options.’ I legit had no idea what he meant. But I was also starting to get sick of not knowing.

‘You haven’t had breakfast yet,’ Dionysus stated. I shrugged. ‘Therefore, we are going to get you breakfast. Do you have any ideas?’

I almost automatically responded with ‘I don’t know,’ but then I remembered that I did not want to not know anymore. Anything was better than not knowing. So I said I wanted sloppily made pancakes with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Good choice, apparently, because Dionysus smiled. ‘Alright then.’

A few minutes later, we walked into a Denny’s. It was questionable whether this was the right place for a therapy session, seeing as how it radiated chaos energy. They did, however, have sloppily made pancakes. Those were a certainty right now, and I was going to hold on to that.

When we sat down, me with a plate filled with pancakes (and some other stuff - like, for real America, calm down, I only need one meal), Dionysus put a carton of Demeters’ Divine Orange Juice in the middle of our table.

‘Wait. I first want to eat one of these pancakes worry-free.’

‘Absolutely.’

I tasted like sloppily made pancake with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. And I was going to savour every sloppy bite of it. At a while, Dionysus wasn’t even paying attention to me anymore. He was scanning the crowd. I wondered whether he was trying to find out if any Olympians were in the restaurant (is it a restaurant? Can you really call Denny’s a restaurant? They might have more nuanced terms in other languages).

I put the straw through the juice carton as soon as I had finished the pancake. The sound caught Dionysus’ attention and he turned back to me. ‘So. Let me start off by saying that you do not need to go back there.’

‘Isn’t it a thing that the first session is weird?’

‘For most demigods, that’s what we say.’ Oh, so there are more demigods that went to therapy? How come we don’t know that? ‘But one look at you and I realised that that wasn’t going to do it for you.’

I tore a little bit of pancake off with my hand. ‘So… then what?’

Dionysus gestured at my juicebox. ‘You mean that you keep…’ counseling me? Giving me therapy? ‘...helping me.’

‘Yes.’

‘Fine.’

He looked at me for a moment. ‘That also means that you have to trust me.’

Trust? that goes far, man. I’ll let you council me, but trust? Calm down. ‘Partly.’

He did not respond. I took another bite of pancake. Then, I took a deep, deep breath. ‘Shortly after she had died… I kept hearing Bianca’s voice in my dreams. That… also hurt. It is less now, probably because... she is reborn. But now Jason is gone too.’ I felt tears coming up again. My throat closed up. I stared at the pancakes (and other crap) on my plate - I knew I would have never finished it all, but now it felt even more impossible.

‘There is a lot of old grief. It might hurt to work through that. Yet, it is important that you learn how to cope. That will make your life better. And Nico, you deserve a better life.’

‘I’ll… try to learn how to cope. I’ll do my best to do that. Really.’

‘I believe you. And about…’ He stopped. About what? ‘Nevermind.’

‘Nevermind what?’ I waited until he made a sign of some sort, but he did not. ‘We’ll talk about it in a future session.’ I wanted to press further, but decided that I either let it rest for now or that he would erase the last thirty seconds from my memory. Slowly, I took another bite of my pancakes. I’d have to stock up on juice boxes, too. I wasn’t about to let Dionysus control when we had an appointment all the time.

(A/N: In The Netherlands, we would call Denny’s a ‘vreetschuur’ or an ‘eettent,’ but certainly not a ‘restaurant.’)

#Nico di Angelo #Dionysus #Trials of Apollo #tower of nero #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #writeblr #percy jackson #PJO #hoo #heroes of olympus #therapy #denny's

6 notes · View notes

meganshinsou-tm · 5 years

Text

Sugarcoated. (m)

↳ chapter six: strategy

❧ genre: pro-hero hitoshi, adoptive siblings, happy ending

❧ chapter warnings: none

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

A pair of (e/c) and ruby eyes stared intensely at Hitoshi over a hand of colorful cards. The man wasn't worried at all, he had just called UNO and you had three cards left, there was no way he was going to lose. He could see you whispering quietly to his little sister that stayed glued to your hip since meeting. Your fingers larger in size to Eri's pointed to each card in a different order, making him quirk a brow and wonder what the two of you were planning.

The card on the top of the deck was a green 6 and his last card was a wild card, so no matter what was thrown down he would be able to win.

"Okay Sou-Sou, first we 'skip' you, then we then 'skip' you again -"

"UNO!" You blurted out before she forgot.

"Oh yeah, thank you (Y/N), and lastly we use our wild card."

Hitoshi blinked at the green and blue 'skip' cards and the wild card. He wasn't exactly sure if that was how it was supposed to go.

The hero was baffled by how quickly we was defeated. Looking up he saw Eri with arms crossed and a smug grin and you sucking in your bottom lip trying to contain your laughter at his humiliation. He threw down his last card and pointed a strong finger in your direction.

"You brats! You were stockpiling all your weapons until the last minute!"

"It's called 'strategy' Toshi, didn't you learn that in hero school?"

"Apparently not. Let's all hope a villain doesn't challenge him to UNO any time soon," Aizawa's voice suddenly interjected as he shook his head and rose from the couch, walking to the kitchen.

Hitoshi rolled his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck accepting his defeat and leaned back against the couch behind him. You and Eri were in your own world talking to each other. The lavenderette crossed his arms and watched as you interacted. It was as if Eri had known you her entire life, her little hands held yours tightly and her ruby eyes sparkled. His heart fluttered at the scene and he could tell that by the end of tonight he wouldn't be Eri's personal favorite anymore.

Your eyes looked in his direction and your lips moved, shaking his head he asked you to repeat yourself since he was so lost in a trance.

"Geez Toshi, stop daydreaming. I was asking where the bathroom is."

Before Hitoshi could point you in the right direction, Eri was up and dragging you. Passing him you smiled and winked. Shinsou smiled back and started to gather up the card game, a few seconds later he could hear little feet running back into the living room. Soon Eri had flung herself at his back, wrapping her arms around his neck. The man coughed as she nearly knocked the wind out of him.

He finished with the cards and ask the child to sit on his knee. She did so and looked up at him curiously.

"You seem to really like (Y/N)."

"I do, she's special."

"What do you mean about that Eri," he questioned and tilted his head.

"(Y/N) has been hurt recently, when I was healing her I could feel that her mind and body were uneasy."

Hitoshi rubbed his sisters back and looked at her concerned face. Eri's quirk allowed her to do more than heal, she could sense people's emotions and well-being making her very in-tune and perceptive to others. Still she was too young to be given exact details about what you were dealing with and how you came to be hurt. But he knew how much she wanted to help you feel better and so did he.

"Yeah, you're not wrong there little one. We can help her out though!"

You sat at a massive dining table, Eri right next to you and Hitoshi sat across from you. Shouta happened to make a warm and spicy curry, it was perfect since the weather outside was getting colder and colder. It was also nice to have a home cooked meal that wasn't your own usual three dishes that you cooked over and over again.

Aizawa questioned you of course, about your education, previous jobs and previous child caring experience. Besides working at the café you only ever worked at your colleges book store in your free time. You came from a decently sized family and had various cousins you'd babysit, along with your own four year old niece and seven month old nephew.

"I didn't know you had siblings." Hitoshi stated, crossing his arms on the table and leaning in.

"Well you've never asked. I only have an older brother, I also have a step-brother but he isn't exactly part of the family, hasn't been for years now. To be honest my older brother and his wife are like parents to me. My own were always occupied with their multiple businesses as we grew up and we were left to fend for ourselves most of the time. I had to grow up fast at a young age. Once him and my sister-in-law got their own place I practically lived there because I hated being in that big house all alone, I went everywhere with them and they would care for me when I needed someone to run to or was running low on food."

"Well it's nice to know you seem very close with some of your family. What businesses do your parents own?" Aizawa asked.

"They own various ones. One is a property development in the inner city, another is a restaurant, and one is a convenient store. They're both very smart and know how to run things well and are well known throughout the city. Every one in school always assumed I was this snooty rich girl but I wasn't. I've earned everything I have now all on my own. My parents taught me the value of hard work and that nothing in this world is just given to you without it."

Hitoshi quirked a brow and hummed. He was learning more and more about you than usual. At work the two of you would just generally flirt and not hold legit conversations about your personal lives. It was admirable to him that you were such a hard worker but he hated what you happened to put yourself through just to reach your goals.

"You know, if you had a quirk, I'm sure you would've made a great hero. It takes me years to instill that kind of thinking into those wild animals I teach."

You smiled and nodded at Aizawa, genuinely flattered by the compliment.

"Can I have an apple now?" Eri chimed in, bored with the adult talk.

You smiled and pinched her cheek, Aizawa sighed and rose from the table, grabbing everyone's empty dishes and Hitoshi got up to get the platter of treats. Eri did an anxious and giddy dance while licking her lips as her brother brought over the apples. Once they were sat down he told her to pick one out, she chose one of the smaller ones you made intentionally for her.

Before biting into it Aizawa cleared his throat, crossing his arms and looking at the little girl.

"Oh yeah, thank you (Y/N) for making these!"

"It's no problem cutie. Next time I bake something maybe you can help me out."

The little girl had already started eating her apple, sticky red candy covered her lips and cheeks as she happily nodded at your suggestion. Hitoshi crouched down next to her and took a bite of her apple while she was looking away. When she looked back he acted as if nothing happened while he obviously chewed. He couldn't help but hum himself at how good it was.

"Oh my god, if you end up making more junk like this I'm gonna end up gaining a few pounds." The purple haired hero confessed with a smile.

He then kissed the top of Eri's head and ruffled her hair and walked back over to Aizawa to help him clean up.

"Eri when you get done I want you to go upstairs and get ready for bed, I'll be up there shortly to run your bath," Shouta had ordered over his shoulder.

"Can (Y/N) do it?" She asked, mouth full of sticky the sticky treat.

You awed and Hitoshi chuckled, nudging his sensei with his elbow while joking about joining the club of the forgotten. He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulder while rolling up his sleeves.

"Only if she wants to though, she technically isn't obliged to do so just yet."

Eri turned to look at you with her wide and shimmering ruby eyes, a messy smile on her face. "Will you (Y/N)? Please!"

"Of course Eri!"

With that the little girl finished her apple and took your hand, leading you out of the kitchen. Hitoshi looked at you with a smile and wave, you returned the gestures and off the two of you went. Once upstairs you went to Eri's room where she dug out her pj's and took you to her own little bathroom. As you ran the water for her you sat on the edge of the tub as she stood between your legs and you brushed her long hair up into a ponytail. As she bathed she talked a lot, asking random questions about you. You helped to wash her face clean of the sticky red candy and happily answered. Until she asked one question that threw you off guard.

"Are you happy right now (Y/N)?"

"Uh – yes I am Eri. How could I not be?"

"I was just wondering. Would it make you happy to see me and Sou-Sou more?"

You titled your head with a half-smile and thought about her question. That day was really the best day you've had in months, especially after the numb weekend you had. Thinking back to all the frequent visits Hitoshi made to the café, you couldn't exactly remember ever being unhappy when he was around. Granted he got under your skin a few times, but you had a quick recovery time when it came to him. Either you'd go groveling back or he would. His earlier confession ran through your head and you could feel his kiss to your forehead again and the way his hand grabbed yours in a protective and possessive manner.

You looked to the little girl before you as she played with a pink rubber duck that looked like a unicorn. You've only known the child for a few hours but she felt like your own little sister and your own tiny best friend. She seemed to be enamored with you herself, probably because among her elders, you were the only female. You couldn't really imagine going back home after today and not seeing her again, it was heart breaking to think about honestly. With a smile you dried off her face and pet the top of her hair.

"You know, I think that would make me more than happy."

"So, you'll stay with us while daddy is gone?"

"If you truly want me too Eri."

Downstairs after cleaning up Shouta and Hitoshi talked, about you obviously. Aizawa was more than comfortable knowing you were the person asked to do the job. He could tell Eri already adored you to bits and that she wasn't the only one.

"Hey - no inappropriate stuff while the kid is around, got it?"

He spoke to Hitoshi, the boy wasn't paying attention though as he looked down at his cup of coffee. Rolling his eyes the elder smacked him on the back of the head, making him come back down to earth and glare with violet hues.

"The fuck? What?"

"I said no inappropriate shit while Eri is around!"

"What are you talking about Shouta?" Hitoshi casually said with a smirk and sipped his drink.

"Don't play dumb Hitoshi. I can tell you're falling for that girl, I'm not against it or anything. To tell you the truth I think she's a very sweet person and has a good head on her shoulders. Why she likes you in return though, I don't know."

"Ouch?"

"I'm just saying, you can come off as cruel and blunt sometimes. Which tells me a lot about her. Either way, what you two do together is your own business and I know with her moving in things will just escalate between you. Just - try to keep it PG when the kid is around or awake. Keep the physical stuff in the bedroom."

Hitoshi laughed, rubbing the back of his head and agreed while looking at the time on his watch and decided that it was nearing time for you to leave, he was aware you probably had to work the next day and he would need to be making a call to work himself. Aizawa informed him that he would be leaving for his trip that coming up Friday, so Eri would need to be picked up from school by him. As they discussed more about certain classes or functions the child had during the next three months, you and Eri were heard coming down the stairs chanting in unison.

"Kim Namjoon! Kim Seokjin! Min Yoongi! Jung Hoseok! Park Jimin! Kim Taehyung! Jeon Jungkook! BTS!"

Both the tired looking men glanced over to see Eri in your arms as you chanted with your fists and smiled walking into the kitchen. You placed the little girl on the ground and she ran to Hitoshi. He bent over and picked her up with a dramatic grunt.

"We're gonna have to get going now kid, it's your bedtime and we got a good drive to make."

"Already," the little girl whined.

"Yes, already. I'll be seeing you again though Friday when I pick you up from school then I'll be stuck with you for three whole months!"

Hitoshi teased and tickled Eri's sides. She laughed and squirmed until he stopped. Her eyes turned to glance at you.

"You'll be there too, right?"

"Yup, I promise!" You nodded and gave her a thumbs up.

Hitoshi smiled, hearing those words let him know that you would in fact be accepting the job. You looked at him and stuck out your tongue, trying to get him to stop staring, he chuckled and went back to saying goodbye to his sister. You thanked Shouta for the dinner and bid him farewell before you all switched people. Hitoshi and his father talking again as you walked to the front door and he grabbed your coats. You crouched down to Eri's level and she flung into your arms hugging you tightly.

"Goodbye (Y/N). I can't wait for Friday!"

"Me either cutie. I'll see you then!"

Eri took Aizawa's hand and Hitoshi ruffled her hair before they took off upstairs. The lavenderette helped put your coat on along with your shoes before doing his own. He made sure to button up your coat tightly all the way to the top and pull your collar up to cover your face and cheeks, once satisfied he smiled and pinched one of the soft pieces of flesh making you smile back.

"Alright sweetness, let's get you home!"

The two of you made a mad dash through the cold air to the jeep. Your nose and cheeks instantly turned pink once nipped by the wind. Quickly, Hitoshi opened the door for you and hoisted you up and into the seat. Once inside the cold vehicle you rubbed your hands together as your teeth chattered and he tried his best to get in as well. He shivered dramatically once a gust of wind flew in while he shut the door and put the key in the ignition to start the vehicle. His hand turned the heat nob all the way up and he leaned over to turn your seat warmers on. You put your hands to your face, trying to blow warm arm into them and rub them together as you trembled.

"Here, give me those!"

Hitoshi turned to face you over the console, grabbing your hands and cupping them in his. He leaned forward and blew warm air into them and vigorously rubbed your hands between his. Repeating the process over and over until both your appendages weren't ice cold anymore. You watched him closely as he performed the sweet and intimate act, cheeks still pink but not from the cold.

His violet hues looked up at you from under his lashes and your heart stopped. He smirked and placed a soft kiss to the insides of both your palms. Your stomach did flips and you sniffled. He sat back up and used a hand to cup around the back of your head, pulling you closer to his face, your noses brushed together and he chuckled at how ice cold the tip of yours was.

"So fucking close, I can't think," you screamed internally and licked your drying lips.

"You don't fair so well in the cold huh?" His deep and monotone voice said, breaking the silence.

All you could do was shake your head, paralyzed by the drop in temperature, except your insides were on fire. Hitoshi looked so smug and was obviously relishing in the effect he had on you. His hand released your head and cupped your cheek, a warm thumb brushing over it. Nexr, his lips parted and once again your eyes screwed shut as you prepared for what was next. A warm kiss enveloped the tip of your nose making your eyes open as you groaned, shoving the man away from you. He let out a hearty laugh as you tried to hide your now red face.

"You fucking play too much Toshi!"

"I'm sorry, you're just so fun to tease sweetness!"

Rolling your eyes you aggressively put your seat belt on, crossed your arms and balled up into the seat looking anywhere but at him. His long arm reached over and ruffled your hair before he secured his own belt and pulled out into the street driving to get you home.

After only ten minutes, the warmth inside the vehicle combined with only the dim glow of the dash buttons and features and quiet music had you passing out in no time. You had managed to slump over onto the center console, still balled up and with your head on your arms. For the longest time Hitoshi was conflicted on whether he could touch you or not, he yearned to.

A soft sigh left your lips as you nuzzled your face deeper into your coated arm, your other one stretched out and your hand landed on his thigh. His eyes widened as it was a little to close for his comfort right now with you being unconscious. Gently he grabbed your hand and moved your arm back over to your body. Once he let go, his own arm was tugged back as yours wrapped around it and cuddled it like a stuffed animal. Your cheek brushed against him with a satisfied hum and one of your hands intertwined with his. His own heart soared and he smiled, brushing his thumb against your skin.

Quietly he spoke to himself, "Once again, you're going to be the end of me."

#sugarcoated #hitoshi shinsou x reader #hitoshi shinsou #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #aizawa shouta #eri

154 notes · View notes

magaprima · 4 years

Text

Part 2 Episode 5 Thoughts (1 out of 2)

Okay, before I begin my usual rambly analysis, just wanna say that first scene with Lilith and it focus on that cabinet...I’m sure I have that, or something very similar. But anyway, onwards

Can’t help but notice that when Lilith is sat in the chair, chatting to Stolas, swigging an enticing glass of whiskey, with the lighting and the way the fire is glowing in the hearth and casting her shadow all around the room, this not only creates the illusion of hell, reminding us of where exactly Lilith truly lives, that for all her time spent living in this cottage, her true home is in Pandemonium, but it also has very old-movie vibes when portraying a ‘devil woman’, all hellish colours and shadows, and we can also go onto the whole ‘shadow self’ idea, and how Lilith’s shadow is larger than her physical body, thus implying she’s much more powerful and ‘larger than life’ than she appears while pretending to be Ms Wardwell.

Also she is talking about this prophecy really openly and loudly with Stolas, fully aware that Adam is in the next room. I get the feeling she’s either totally forgotten about him being there, or her time at Baxter High and in Greendale has convinced her that humans never realise what’s really going on even if it bit them on the nose, so she’s just not being careful at all.

‘Just as Sabrina performed an exorcism and a resurrection in perversion of the Nazarene’s miracles, she must now bring down the temple’ Some nice exposition there. And that is exactly what it feels like. It might as well be an aside in Macbeth for the way this was written.

Also, Stolas, why are you asking which temple? What other temple is there besides the Church of Night? Get with the program, dude. But then when Lilith says about setting the bricks tumbling and Stolas replies, she genuinely laughs and I would love to know the sassy back and forth that went on between those two....before we discovered he was a spy for Lilith and so even her own familiar couldn’t be trusted.

“I do so love stirring the cauldron”

I think this is one of the truest things about Lilith. She likes stirring things for the sake of stirring them sometimes, with no ulterior motive, she just enjoys seeing the chaos and chain reaction a simple stir can cause. And she genuinely has fun with these sorts of things, where she sets things in motion with a word or a look or an dea. I kind feel this goes back to the beginning, and how she essentially ‘stirred the cauldron’ in question God and Adam and defying him, and so comes from her desire to overturn the status quo which is quite intrinsic to who she is. No doubt, within reason, she stirs shit up in Hell too, and it wouldn’t take much for those court members to turn on each other.

When Adam comes in and says ‘Mary’, Lilith stops mid drink and keeps her glass at her mouth as she looks at him, which I think does slightly imply she had forgotten just a little bit that he was in the next room. She’s gotten used to monologuing in privacy but now there’s someone there. A mortal someone. Also the fact she’s pretending to be someone called ‘Mary’, a Christian name, stands out even more when a moment ago she was all ‘bring down the temple’ and talking about the Nazarene etc.

“I thought I heard you talking to someone” Yeah ‘thought’.

Lilith throws him her usual polite Principal Wardwell smile she throws everyone when they’re asking questions she wants them to forget about, but the way she says ‘No, Adam, dear, go back to bed, I’ll be in shortly’, shows us how since the night of the Sweethearts Dance, she has definitely decided to keep him around. The risk of him interrupting her or causing to have to be ‘on’ with her Mary persona more often is worth his company apparently, which is very revealing. There’s no romance here, and they’re obviously not sleeping together (confirmed by his jammies being full buttoned plus the info we learned in Part 3 about his relationship with the actual Mary) but there’s already an odd...comfortability, which I don’t think Lilith has even realised, and most likely is telling herself it’s for convenience so people won’t come looking for him, but that hasn’t stopped her before with the pizza boy, the jock, Hawthorne...so how come Adam gets special treatment?

Also he smiles so cutely and nods at the way she says ‘I’ll be in shortly’ and he doesn’t ask her how long, doesn’t ask what she’s doing, he simply accepts that she wants to stay up a little longer on her own. He’s very respectful of her choices and of giving her distance when she wants it, and I think this is a large part about why Lilith didn’t kill him off even before she started to fall for him.

She does roll her eyes a little once he’s gone, and it just makes me think that with him there she has to be Mary all the time. And she’s being the Mary he expects her to be; sweet, polite, concerned about her students etc. It’s only after the development towards the end of this episode, that we then see in the next episode, that while she’s still being ‘Mary’ she’s now behaving more like the Mary she is with Sabrina, which is more like herself.

Also the fact Lilith glamours herself to look like Edward Spellman is not only one of only two times we see Lilith appearing as a man (the second time is as Adam when she goes to Mary for help, and yeah I need to analyse the fuckity fuck out of that moment) because Lilith, understandably, seems to prefer being a woman even when wearing a glamour, but it’s also quite an interesting thing for her to pretend to be, considering Lilith does play, inadvertently, a parental role towards Sabrina quite often, and you could reason even more so in Part 3. And then with the fact Lilith is now carrying Lucifer’s child just as Diana did, well the whole Edward connection is even more observationally interesting.

Also Lilith just popping out of the shadows after removing the glamour and looking down on Sabrina and being all ‘and bring down the temple, she shall’ very clearly shows Lilith obviously thinks they’ll never see her in a million years because they never do; and guess what? She’s right.

Then when Sabrina goes to her for help, and she’s all ‘And your Father’s ghost told you all of this, that Father Blackwood murdered him and your Mother’, it always makes me wonder how much truth was in that. Lilith never does outright lies, she uses the truth to lie as that’s usually more convincing and harder to disapprove, so I imagine there are some elements of truth here. We do know Edward had a manifesto Blackwood wouldn’t have wanted, and now Blackwood has his own manifesto, so there’s motivation, plus we know Faustus disliked a lot of things that Edward wanted for the Churches of Darkness (Equality for witches, for one)...is it possible Blackwood tried to stop them getting the manifesto to the Anti-Pope and the whole thing went wrong? That he was to blame but by accident? Or was it one of his dedicated Judas Society boys that did it? Taking Blackwood’s words as instruction rather than complaint, and then realising what had happened, covered it up to save himself as much as anything? I just feel there are elements of truth here and it does make sense for him to be connected to it all things considered, but I’m just not quite sure which parts are accurate and which are exaggerated.

“Well, I’ll be damned” Usually, they stay stuff in the reverse in this show. ‘Those blessed Pagans’ instead of ‘those cursed Pagans’, and ‘what in the heaven’ instead of ‘what in the hell’, so I feel like ‘I’ll be damned’ should be reversed, like ‘I’ll be blessed’ or something along that line. I feel this was just a slip up on the writers part (much how I hated in the little mermaid on Broadway, they had the sisters say ‘she doesn’t even dip her toe in’ rather than ‘her tail in’; keep with the lexicon, people!) but I would really love if it was because she was spending so much time with Adam and so having to be careful what she says and how she says things, and she’s got into a habit of saying ‘I’ll be damned’ and ‘what the hell’ and didn’t realise she did it with Sabrina.

When Sabrina says ‘you were his secretary, what do you remember about that time?’ you see the slightest flicker in Lilith’s expression where she’s like ‘oh yeah I was his secretary wasn’t I? And...in love with him, I think? But yes secretary...and obviously, I know things’ and so she proceeds to do what she does often with Sabrina; bluffs, bluffs like hell. She even has the same vibe as the exorcism episode where she’s all pacing around, avoiding Sabrina’s eye as she instead looks into the fire, going ‘ah, well, erm, yes, I...’ and buying herself time to come up with a story, trying to remember what she does know about what happens and neatly tying herself into it.

When she finally has a story in mind, she literally swivels around, chin lifted, like yes I am here with a story, I’m good now, let’s start again. Ahem, there was an enquiry. You can literally see that that she has taken that brief hesitant moment to come up with everything she’s about to say now, but the difference from here to exorcism episode, is she now has Sabrina’s full trust, so she doesn’t have to go so crazy and elaborate and all over the place with her story. She keeps it short and simple and it’s safe and convincing.

“An inquiry, immediately after the crash, the very definition of a whitewash”; definitely happened, therefore she starts with the truth, an indisputable fact, but she delivers it with emotion, reminding Sabrina subtly ‘yes I love him too and the whitewash of it all hurt’ and obviously that makes her story not just believable but sympathetic; she and Sabrina both want justice for Edward, don’t they?

“You know who ordered it and reviewed it’s findings of course?” Again, easy fact to know and prove, so we can definitely assume Blackwood was in charge, and it would make sense since he became High Priest in Edward’s place.

But then Sabrina starts asking legit questions such as why did Blackwood want to kill her parents, was it purely for ambition, what work was she trying to stop and Lilith now has to move into the manipulation part of the story, bending the truth, telling it in a way as to make it work in her favour.

“Your Mother and Father were bound for Rome, well more accurately the Vatican necropolis beneath Rome, he was to meet with the Anti-Pope and deliver his manifesto, a bold doctrine to reform the church of night” I’m guessing this is all true, unless Lilith went to the lengths of shoving Edward’s manifesto into the bottom of the ocean, this all seems correct, but this would have been information easily researched, and no doubt the reason Hilda and Zelda don’t talk about it, as it’s the idea that maybe someone in the church wanted him dead for his manifesto and they can’t face the idea of that. So they always insist it’s an accident.

“A traditionalist like Blackwood would do anything to stop Edward from presenting it to the Anti-Pope” Now this is the bit which is more theory than fact, but note how she doesn’t state it as fact, it’s all ‘well he is a traditionalist’ which is very true, so she lets Sabrina fill in the gaps there, she doesn’t commit to the theory, only suggests it. Stirring the cauldron. But, considering how vehemently Blackwood tries to stop Sabrina presenting the manifesto and his wide-eyed look when he sees it, and how he freaking KILLS the Anti-Pope to stop it all, suggests Lilith might have hit the nail on the head. Whether it was Blackwood himself or, as I said above, one of his boys taking it upon himself to do it and Blackwood covered it up, I think we can safely presume he was involved somehow.

“What was in the manifesto? You must have kept a copy” Sabrina says and you would think, as his secretary. Mary would indeed have a copy. But Lilith knows this is the one bit she can’t bullshit, because if Sabrina gets to the manifesto what she claims was in it could be easily disproven, so Lilith doesn’t even make an attempt, she simply she says no there was only one, but when she says ‘somewhere at the bottom of the ocean’ she yet again plays the hurt and sad card, that subtle reminder that she cared about Edward too, it all encourages Sabrina to share with her, to trust her, to believe they’re in this together.

“Well, then your parents would not have died in vain” That was the money phrase right there. That’s the one that Lilith knows will push Sabrina into action, the idea that not only have her parents been murdered, but that their attempts were lost and all for nothing, directly appeals to her sense of family loyalty and her ‘I must do what’s right no matter the cost’ vibe. Lilith’s smile is almost smug but she manages to hold it back, because she’s probably thinking ‘Getting Sabrina to take on Blackwood and avenge her Father to bring down the temple is literally the easiest task ever. I’m done and it’s not even lunch’.

Also, later on when Adam asks about Sabrina, that tells us he was in the house when Sabrina was there. Did she meet him? I mean she must have seen him at the dance but did she actually meet him here? Did she realise he was a mortal and so keep quiet, but then think to herself that Ms Wardwell is even more someone she can trust, because she wants a life with mortals just as Sabrina does? Also she told Sabrina the reason she was excommunicated for wanting to marry a mortal; does she think Adam is that mortal? Or that it was so long ago that that mortal has died and Adam is new? Why could we not have had a scene where Adam walked in on Lilith and Sabrina and awkwardness ensued??

#episode stuff

12 notes · View notes

yshai-tia · 4 years

Text

thanks to @house-vexile‘s idea about spreading some appreciation with reckless abandon in honour of the holiday season, here’s my attempt at being obnoxiously sappy towards all the folk who’ve extended their kindness my way, and just in general, since i made this blog some odd few months ago. time to spread some good cheer and all that, leggo.

first section is dedicated to the folk who’ve written with me/are currently writing with me. not to sound like some hot popular bitch but you all reached out to me and right off the bat i’m stupidly grateful for that because it cannot always be easy to just straight up contact a complete stranger like ‘H-HEY WRITE WITH ME MAYBE?!?!’ ya’ll got stones. own that shit.

@ayice-tia of course you gotta be first ‘cause you were the first person to contact me not too long after i threw that messy LFRP post to the winds. i still get a laugh out of the fact that you thought i wouldn’t respond back to you u fewl, now we’ve been writing for months, surprise!! where to start. you’re the first person to sit down and dedicate to long-term writing with me and it’s thanks to you that i’ve been able (and am still currently doing so, let’s be real) to flesh out so much of Shai’s character. like i go back and reread our first posts and i barely even have a grasp on his manner of speech yet let alone most other things. between writing with you and constantly shooting the shit with you on discord he’s been able to rapidly take form into a fully fledged character with a lot more depth than I ever expected-- i’m especially appreciative of all the long talks we’ve had about brainstorming tribal lore, to toss ideas back and forth about our catte’s respective homes and their people has been some of the best manner of character building.

you already know how much I adore Yice, being able to watch him grow into a complex character in his own right has been such a treat, how he grows into his confidence yet never loses his good heart in the process. i love how you are able to so perfectly write a character who’s an absolute ray of sunshine yet has this undeniable simmering fire underneath. when i think of the trope ‘my kindness is not weakness’ Yice comes to mind instantly, and you nail that essence with aplomb. anyway, i hope to continue writing with you for a long time to come!! thank you for reaching out to me and sticking around this entire time. also p.s. never stop sending me photos of your dog

@further-ruin we may not have written all that much together yet (yet™!!!) but it’d be remiss for me not to talk about how lovely your writing is. your attention for detail, especially character-wise, is so good and goes such a length to really add liveliness to a scene. even if the scene is two frozen cattes talking in a cave somewhere in godsforsaken Coerthas, i’m still into it, and the effort you put in really shows because i may not be all too familiar with Izzy just yet but i’m already invested in his mannerisms, his potential, what could be brought forth from behind that carefully maintained icy facade. he already has Shai’s curiosity piqued that’s for damn certain. i can’t wait to see where things go and, in the mean time, enjoy your vacation! man i wish i was on a beach right now.... i bet they do too, if they weather this storm Shai is gonna drag Izzy’s ass to Costa

@hiraethwyl oh Lyrin’a. Lyrin’a is such a cutie. Writing with you is definitely such a nice relaxing reprieve, you’re the first, and still the only, person to approach me with the rp hook of ‘hey build something for my character!’ and that alone made me stupidly happy, for 1) getting to write out a scene that involves Shai’s normal-ass day job, and 2) because someone read enough about his character to realize “oh he could probably do this thing i need.” and, of course, you already saw ICly how ecstatic Shai was at the chance of getting to build Lyrin’a a new brace, he cannot wait to get started. your writing has such a gentle lilt to it, i can easily get lost in reading those stand alone pieces you post on your blog, i love them. i’m eager to see him flourish more as a character, maybe Shai will be able to convince him to show him around the Shroud a bit? share some of his Keeper culture with him? we shall see!

@swordmens you i specifically left for last because i could talk about your writing until the year rolls over and then some. holy shit. where do i even begin? your meticulous care for detail, the way you build a scene, the atmosphere, everything. you just fucking nail it again and again without fail and it leaves me in awe. honestly in the beginning i was so stupidly intimidated, some legit real writer’s fear, like ‘they are so good at this?? oh my god??? i don’t think i can keep up????? does this drivel i send their way even compare??????’ absolute terror. at this point the intimidation is mostly abated (still kinda there little bit ngl) but my adoration of your writing has not, i could never tire of reading everything you put out there. there’s this inherent level of thrill knowing you’re writing with someone that, no matter how exactly you toss up the ball, they will in some way or another spike that shit with intensity. i just. so damn good. please never stop writing. ultimately, in the long-run, the intimidation was a beneficial thing because rising to the challenge of wanting to keep up with your writing went from ‘oh shit i’m scared, every word’s gotta be perfect’ to ‘oh fuck this is a lot of fun actually???’ and i’d like to imagine my own writing has benefited from it, if anything my confidence as a writer absolutely has and i have you to thank for that. as far as collaborative writing goes, i don’t think you can ask for much more than a rp partner that you both genuinely enjoy writing with and actively challenges you. i’m extremely grateful for the chance to write with you.

tl;dr i adore your writing, i adore writing with you, i adore Castor. i’m sorry i didn’t take your initial offer of having them meet in a more laid-back fashion and now they’re both beat forty different shades of shit from sunday while simultaneously trying to row up shit’s creek without a paddle LMAO as sorry as i feel for them it’s been fun every single step of the way

@silvernsteel @eorzeanincubus @nikoto-n @kytir @amahrigold @xavi-ffxiv @twelveswood @confusedtia @miqojak @placesyoucallhome @a-corsairs-chorus @gayhaurchefant @lightdevoid @sola-ffxiv @ishgard @voidwife @sand-seeks-sun @wondereverlasting @ivyffxiv @alphadrg @az-ffxiv @mai-takeda @vylette-elakha @dravaniia @gatheredfates @aife-ffxiv @lordittetsu

ya’ll are no doubt like, oh sweet jesus why is he tagging me, leave me out of this nonsense. tough nuts. your ass is getting tagged for one of the following reasons: we’ve talked about writing together but haven’t quite yet, i’ve noticed how often you reblog my photosets, you say nice things about my stupid cat boy, you tag me in shit, you’re just a general, overall positive presence whomst’ve i adore seeing on my dash, you said one (1) nice thing to me last month and i still haven’t forgotten it, you deserve to be called out for being great, etc etc. appreciate yourselves, ‘cause i appreciate ya’ll. also write with me sometime :dagger:

#;ooc #had a few glasses of riesling and slapped on a holiday playlist while writing this #to REALLY get into the spirit lmao #so if i went overboard y'know #i ain't sorry #you'll learn to cope #oh sick this is my 200th post nice

13 notes · View notes

thorsstorms · 5 years

Text

Abroad part 10

(Chris Hemsworth x Reader)

Summary: Being the Hemsworth Kids’ Nanny, you were vowed to keep it strictly professional for their sake, but do the stolen glances go unnoticed between you both?

Word count: 6k ish idk

Warnings: The lot y'all. Fingering, unprotected sex (y'all wrap that shit) 18+! VEGAS BABY.

A/N: if you want to be tagged, PLEASE SEND AS AN ASK.

Masterlist

“India, I don’t want to say it again.” Her wet swimsuit was still on the floor in the upstairs bathroom, just as it was thirty minutes ago.

“Put the tablet down and do what she says or I swear you will not see that thing for a week.” Chris rounded the kitchen corner to eye her, watch her huff and throw it down on the couch and slowly walk for the stairs.

Today was not her day. She had been defiant since the moment she woke up, crying because she didn’t want to eat breakfast, sad that she doesn’t have the sandals that she likes in California, heart broken that the shirt she wanted was in the washer. It was enough to drive you crazy for the day.

You threw the blanket you were folding on to the back of the couch and sat down next to one of the boys who was making seemingly a million little paper airplanes. His fine motor skills weren’t very sharp, so the edges were very crooked and not creased, but he didnt care. His little fingers did what they could to keep him entertained.

Sasha was your saving grace compared to the other two. He was easy to please, and compliant, the easygoing child, much like you were.

Chris had been seated at the kitchen table for the past hour on his laptop trying to memorize maps and try to plan out what we were going to be doing. He had been watching travel sites for information, trying to track how long the drives were from each stop. It sounded like too much work honestly, you were a road trip veteran. You learned to go with the flow, it is hard to follow a timeline, but you left him to it. He had ever done this across the states, you had.

By some grace of god, Elsa was going to be flying into LA and was going to stay with the kids. Back months ago, you both had this time planned for Paris, the kids were going to fly out of Paris with their mother to Spain and spend two weeks with them while we were all in Europe.

This ment begging Chris for an extra night in Vegas. Originally only staying one night at the Mirage because it seemed the most kid friendly to you. You on the spot asked him to cancel those reservations and book two nights at Paris instead. It was your absolute favorite hotel of them all, and was home to your favorite restaurant that looked over the Bellagio fountains. He had never been, so either way he didn’t care but you were determined to show him the best time possible.

Plus you had a surprise in mind, located in Treasure Island, and maybe another in the Venetian. You were going to have to be sneaky about it, deciding to call Gen later in secret and make sure it would be okay, she would get it setup for sure.

“Go fly one of these at Papa, tell him to get off the computer and come play with you,” you whispered quietly in Sasha’s ear. He turned to you with a mischievous smile, starting to giggle and cover his mouth to stay quiet. He picked a few up off the floor and one from the coffee table and started to tiptoe across the room, moving slowly like he was a spy. Your gaze shifted between Chris and the creeping ninja on his way to attack.

He was sat hunched over the computer with his hand covering his chin, eyes scanning the screen.

“Papa!” Sasha’s high pitched voice broke the silence, pelting all four airplanes like they were baseballs at his head. “Come play with me!” He jumped suddenly at the sound of his voice, watching the paper fall on to the keys.

“Play with you? You want me to come play with you?” He rose from his seat as the boy slowly nodded his head, ready to dart in the opposite direction to get chased. You watched Sasha dart around the room, Chris on his tail, Tristan running to you to take cover.

Later that night he was stuck back at the laptop after the kids were in bed. Sat against the headboard looking for hotels around your hometown regardless of the fact that you had told him there was no way your mother was going to allow that. He was afraid of intruding on her since you insisted it be a surprise. A compromise was reached when you agreed to call her in the morning and tell her that you were coming again, but only her.

Trying to pack the last of the clothing proved to be a bigger job than you had anticipated. Everything was washed and the kids were finished, but you swore he had brought his entire closet with him.

“How the heavens did you fit all of this in here in the first place!?” Trying to opt for a new way to arrange the luggage.

“I told you I would do it, just leave it be!” He pulled his eyes away from the screen, watching you surrounded by clothing on the floor.

“Really? If you packed this, nothing would be folded and there would be no order to anything. Then I would lose sleep over it.” It ended up working by putting all the shoes in a duffle bag, yours included, then putting some of his things in your two bags. Remaining in control of all the little things was what kept you sane. You ignored his continued obsession over the computer screen and resorted to pulling through drawers to make sure everything was out and your weren't leaving anything behind when you both left in the morning.

Inside a drawer of the dresser was two scripts that had been sent to him, some other paperwork, and a manila folder. You grabbed them all out, knowing they would be forgotten if you didn’t, and tossed them all on the top of the closed suitcases, not knowing where to put them at the moment. You watched as the papers slid off the top of the suitcase to a sloppy pile on the ground. You had always had an amazing aim.

The papers were gathered in a pile and you sat down to try and straighten them out and shove them all in the folder when a certain few words caught your eye.

“MARVEL TWO FILM CONTRACT”

The stapled papers got singled out on the carpet in front of you, flipping over the next 10 pages, seeing zero signatures. The contemplation zoomed through your brain, whether you should even be snooping or not. You continued anyway, hyper focused on the documents in hand.

Not a single pen mark was on any of the papers besides the last, signed fresh by Kevin Fiege in black ink, dated almost four weeks ago. You tried to conceal the confusion, silently covering your mouth and glancing back up to him, who was not paying a lick of attention to you.

Why had he not signed it yet? Did he not want to finish this? Its only two films, much smaller than the last.

“Chris,” your voice was quiet and trying to gain the courage to ask, but heard easily over the sound of the fan in the room. You were met with a hum, not looking your way yet. “Are you- do you not want to do this?”

As if he suddenly knew exactly what you were talking about, he shut the computer and sat up, staring at you on the floor with the other papers in a pile. The sudden urge to defend your curiosity took over.

“I-I wasn’t snooping, I promise. I was just, you were going to forget this stuff and, I pulled it out. It-They fell.” Your words were having trouble making it out to make sense, though he didn’t move from his spot to grab anything from you.

He took a deep breath, running a hand over his face, rubbing his eyes. He motioned for you to join him on the bed and you followed quickly, bringing the papers with you.

“I didn’t sign them yet.” He said, pulling the paper from your grasp flipping back a few pages. “The filming period is 18 months- maybe longer, due to start in November.” He pointed out a section on the fourth page, stating the filming period and locations. You still didn’t understand. So what? You knew he had done more rigorous work in the past, what was two more movies, and then being done with it?

“Do you not want to do this?” You asked again. Your question remained the same.

“(Y/N) it’s not that I wouldn’t want to do the movies, of course I would want to do them. But it’s a very long filming period. Two big movies back to back again. I filmed Ragnarok, then Infinity war, and Endgame all back to back and was pretty much gone for a straight year and a half. Almost two.” The longing feeling that would take place inside yourself during that period was treading up lightly. He hadn’t been legit filming the entire time you’ve been with them. He had just finished. But it was his job, and he built this character into something far deeper than expected. The obligation to finish the story was far greater than the obligation to be selfish and not do two last movies, at least that is what you were thinking.

“I don’t understand.” The air was starting to hang heavy over your confusion.

“Doing something like that again, being contractually bound to it, it was hard on the kids. Me being away for long periods of time. It was hard on me. It was- It was hard on my marriage.” Finally understanding where this was going. You stayed silent, thinking about it. The timeline matches up, something you had never thought about before. You never pried him for answers, you figured he would tell you if it mattered. This was him telling you. Now, it matters to him. “It is not that I don’t want to do the movies. It’s just the rough draft of the schedule that- that stresses me, I guess.”

“You’re job is not easy.” He put the papers aside on the nightstand. “I can’t tell you what to do. But if I could, I think I would tell you to sign them.” He leaned back on the pillows while you put the laptop on your nightstand and adjusted the blankets. “I think that you can pull this off. It’s just two more years and you can take off as long as you’d like. You have worked like crazy these past couple years. Cranking movies out, one after another. You’ve made your mark Chris.”

You paused to let him speak. To tell you that you don’t know what you are talking about or that he just doesn’t want to do it at all. But he didn’t speak. He laid in contemplation, staring at the ceiling and listening to your words of encouragement.

“Don’t worry about the kids, don’t worry about me. You can be selfish about this, finish what you started.” He laid still in his quiet thought. It became clear to you that he had thought about this for a long time, even still didn’t feel like he knew the correct decision. He thought of you, what kind of future would take place if he signed and if he didn’t. He decided himself he wasn’t willing to put everything on the line with you, but that was where he wasn’t thinking clearly.

The silence swallowed up the room, suddenly making you understand why he was so hesitant.

“I’m not Elsa, Chris.” His eyes snapped quickly to you, daring you to continue. “I don’t-I don’t have a modeling career to run towards. I’m not… taking the backseat for you to do this. I like to think I’m sitting in the front seat, ready to grab the wheel for you.” Your silly analogy lightened his mood, but it was true. It was different.

“You think I should sign them.”

“Do the damn thing.” He still didn’t move. “I don’t want to pressure you or anything but-”

“You are not pressuring me, I’ll do it. You are right.” He stood up grabbing a pen from the bedside table. You started to panic, definitely feeling like you had just guilted him into it.

“Are you sure?” You watched him with bright eyes. He deserved to let himself do this. He would never forgive himself if he didnt.

You felt almost a sense of pride as you watched him sign the last page, ignoring your further questions, standing almost naked with only boxers on, almost 11PM.

“Don’t move! Freeze! I want to take a picture.” Of course he didn’t listen and stood up straight. “Say cheese!” He smiled silly and held up the paper showing his signature.

“Woah.” We were coming up on the strip and could see it from the highway. “Which one is Paris?”

“I’m gonna take a guess and say the one with an Eiffel Tower attached to it,” you said, looking at him like he shouldn’t be driving if he couldn’t see it from here. The drive had just reached over four hours. Four hours of you talking about Vegas and stories from the last two times you had come, trying your hardest to leave out the surprise. He’d see it for sure when you got there.

His restlessness was rubbing off on you. Turning onto the south side of the strip, you watched as he admired Luxor and your other favorite, New York New York, through the windshield. Arriving farther down the strip, you eyed the big sign attached to Treasure Island. Granted, it was still another two blocks down the strip but honestly. He seemed oblivious to it, eyes attached to the Bellagio fountains and trying to pull into the valet at Paris.

How the fuck did he not just see that? Surely he knows about it. You decided to not say anything just yet, proceeding to follow directions that Gen had given you both. The luxury of not having to lug your own bags around the hotel entrance and through the casino to find your room had never been presented to you before. Questioning him as he left the keys with Valet without grabbing the bags, waiting for security before going inside. Oh, right.

You walked with two security guys that worked for the hotel, weaving through the hotel to the check-in desks, greeted by a manager. He was promptly handed two room cards, and a hotel brochure.

As soon as you entered the room you went straight for the window to see the view. He gave his thanks to security and shut the door behind him, following you to the window. The giddy smile across your face couldn’t help but spread to his. His arms wrapped around you, resting his head on top of yours. You leaned back against him, relaxing into the enveloping warmth of his embrace.

“Thank you,” you looked out at the view from the room, feeling excited to get out there.

“For what?”

“Just being you, I guess.” You leaned over in his arms and he met you for a kiss. He was gentle and unrushed. You had hoped he would mellow out once you got on the road.

You turned in his arms pushing him across the room till he hit the bed and sat down.

“Just being me, huh?”

“Oh shut it,” wishing he would wipe the smirk off his face. You straddled his lap, throwing your arms around his shoulders, his coming to your hips. He welcomed your kiss, wrapping yourself around him. His smirked disappeared as you both deepened the kiss, his tongue poking around yours. He left gentle kisses across your jaw, pressing hard against your pulse point sending a shiver down your skin.

A knock at the door interrupted your trance, Chris pulling a way and placing a small quick kiss at your lips.

“I love you,” he said quickly going to stand up to open the door. You locked your limbs around him, locking your ankles behind his back while he stood up.

“Oh c’mon, really?” You pouted, clinging to him. He chuckled and unwrapped your feet setting you on the edge of the bed, reluctantly letting go.

You quickly fingered through your hair to make it look somewhat presentable as your bags were piled in the room off a trolly. You immediately went for clothes and a makeup bag. There are so many bags, surely you do not need all of these for two days here.

“Hey woah, don’t we get to finish what we started?” He walked up to you taking the makeup bag out of your hands and setting it on the desk. Before you could answer he had grabbed the bag of your thighs, hoisted to his waist, walking back to the bed, your arms reflexively going around his shoulders. He started to nip at your neck, sitting back down and rigorously trying to go back to what you had started.

“Wait,” you choked out, trying to remember what you were going to say. “I- I made us dinner plans.”

“You did?” he spoke softly, lightening up on his assault.

“Mhmm,” his hands left your hips, pulling under your shirt and running up your exposed skin. His lips found yours for just a moment before you pulled off of him. A groan erupted from his throat as you slipped from his grasp.

“Princess,” His voice carried a coarse, impure ring to it.

“Just have some patience,” your voice was definitely lacking the conviction it needed. The thought of making him wait was almost detrimental to your will, always ready to give in. With only two nights to show him Vegas, you wanted to do something before dinner as well.

You went back for the makeup bag and a black and floral jumpsuit, after all, you can’t wear a dress on a gondola! You hadn’t gotten to do them yet but you were determined to this time around. Through The Venetian they had a gondola river flowing in and out of the casino and hotel, surrounded in an Italian setting and a guide, it looked amazing and romantic and you couldn’t wait to show him.

“Can you wear your blue button down? It shows off your ocean eyes, I like it,” you disappear into the bathroom, whisking away the blush of your confession. Too forward of a request? Hopefully not. The mirror in the bathroom was something to be admired, excited to do your makeup. Getting dolled up sounds so amazing, it was a rare occurrence these days.

“Okay so, we are gonna go to the Venetian. It is down just two blocks. I’m just, so excited!” He eyed up and down the street, admiring the detailed tall buildings, the dancing fountain across the street. So much for the blue shirt he looked so handsome in, you knew he was going to have those obnoxious sunglasses covering his eyes till the sun went down.

“But what are we doing? Just walking?” He fell into step next to you, clasping your hand to keep close through the crowded sidewalks.

“We are going to go on a gondola ride and pretend we are in Italy!” You couldn’t wipe the smile of your face.

“Holy shit,” he said quickly, halting his footsteps in place, almost tugging you backwards. Both of you getting dirty remarks from those behind you. Your heart felt a quick jolt at the thought of people recognizing him and ruining your evening, maybe even the days here. You quickly tugged him forward telling him to keep walking before he draws attention to himself, not bothering to mask the urgency in your tone. You looked up ahead knowing he finally saw it.

“Is that-no way! That’s me!” You shook your head, lugging him along behind you trying to keep up with the pace of everyone else. He kept talking to himself, saying how in the world he didn’t know about it, trying to ask you questions about it. You skipped the part about telling him you had gone a few years ago, though surely it would come up tomorrow.

You answered all he needed to know while you both were in your own little world, floating through the hotel. The detail and styles of the build captured his eyes. The body language he showed was taken back at the extravagance of the hotels, each having a strong thematic presence.

He admired the posters at the entrance of the wax museum, walking to the counter for tickets, thanking heavens there was no line or crowds. He made fun, taking selfies with almost everyone of them. Kissing Dwayne Johnson, laying with Hugh Hefner, standing even taller on his tippy toes with an annoyed look next to Captain America. You indulged yourself, posing with Khloe Kardashian who almost towered over you as Chris did. You got close with Channing Tatum and Bradley Cooper, making him take your photos. Needless to say, you both probably had way to much fun, spending way too much time in each themed room.

An amazing idea popped in your head as you entered the main gala, telling him you were going to play a game of freeze. You positioned him down the couch from Will Smith, on hand on his knee.

“Don’t move!! When the next guests walk through I’m gonna act like I’m taking a picture with you. You can not move! Or it won’t work!” He was on board almost immediately, ready to scare the whoever dared to get close. You moved away from him to check it out, starting to hear chatter coming up the escalator from the outside.

“Oh my goodness don’t move! I’m gonna video!” You whispered to him, running the Brad Pitt, pretending to be interested with him.

You watched from the side, trying your hardest not to reveal him from laughing. If you started laughing, he would to.

The onlookers drifted from each wax figure at the entrance, spotting a perfect seat between Will and Chris.

“Ooo! Take one of me here too!” The woman handed her company an Iphone, skipping to the couch. You watched with wide eyes as he looked like he was about to burst an eyeball from not blinking or breathing. He snuck a small, quick blink, making it difficult not to pee yourself from holding in the laughter. The man slowly lowered the camera, tossing her name into the air to get her attention. He ignored her questioning reply and walked a bit closer, eyeing him.

“What?” She asked him again, ready to pose for the picture, both her arms around their shoulders. As soon as her arm landed she jumped away, Chris screamed at her to scare her and she screamed back profanities, clutching her chest.

The eruption of laughter continued, yours probably obnoxiously ruining the video you were trying to hold steady.

You kept it going as he greeted them both, being the best he could be before you ended it. You approached the couple as they all calmed down, automatically being put in charge of taking photos for them.

You listened as Chris asked them nicely if they could hold off on posting anything for a day or two, asking to enjoy his time here with you, drifting his arm around your back. You blushed from his stare as they nodded in agreement of his explanation.

The four of you ended up snaking through the themed rooms together. You left your separate ways after you airdropped the video to her, reviewing it all together again to catch his blinking.

On the way back towards Paris, you passed through the mall to hit a couple stores, buying too many brushes and a few Jeffree lippies at Morphe. You followed him into Swarovski, refusing to allow him to inform you of the prices of the wrist watches he was admiring.

Dinner was more than what you expected. Gen had come through with the the string pulling. The manager offered you both free wine tasting while you had a stunning table, privately seated along the balcony. The fountains to keep you both entertained for the time being.

“I am genuinely lost for words.” The dessert was sat down on the table, but his eyes were on you. The dark sky and lowlit balcony did the most to hide your rose blush, but you both knew it was there.

“Well I’m glad you like it,” the glass of Sangria seated on the table top had become increasingly attention-grabbing under his stare.

“Come here,” the legs of his chair scratched across the ground as he scooted back from the table. His hands secured around yours, bringing you to sit on his lap, stealing the glass from you and setting it on the table.

You observed his movements with curiosity until he met your lips for a thank you. His hands keeping you from sliding from his grasp. You leaned into his chest, grazing his neck with your fingertips to savour his slow moving taste on your lips. The certain kiss that no words are needed, or exchanged. Striving to accept his appreciation, overjoyed with the romantic atmosphere that was created for the evening. He was quick to create a bliss in you that had you forgetting to breathe, forgetting to act appropriately in public, regardless of the needed privacy.

“I love you,” his promise was whispered against your lips. The kind of moment where your thoughts flash through your mind erupted in your head. Regardless of any crush, or any love you had thought you felt before this moment, it was fake. It was swept away in the wind. Any charm that was presented to you in the past, it was weak. Any humor you found in someone else, it was paled in comparison to the joy he was always radiating on to you. Any soul crushing want, it was ignored and invisible until your eyes settled on him.

“And I love you.”

After a few minutes, you both decided it could be time to leave. Before you could exit the restaurant, you were met with the same hotel manager that gave you the room cards from earlier. She stood strict with two men from security with her. She spoke about offering security if you chose to remain in the casino for the evening.

You stayed stiff, almost behind him as you glance towards the entrance of the restaurant, where two more guards were trying to escort a few photographers out of the casino.

“We can keep professional photographers out, but guests with cameras are a different story.” She gazed between you both with sympathy. Before he could even turn to look at your reaction, you informed her that you would stay for the rest of the evening. It was only almost 10PM.

He didn’t know, but Gen was smart enough to assign you with security for all day tomorrow. Going to S.T.A.T.I.O.N. was the given reason, but also so you could explore further. You obviously didn’t expect to be walking the streets all day long, so nothing of it was much of a surprise to you, just an inconvenience.

Between walking to the room, you admired him as he stopped and took a few photos with people. They were all polite, waiting patiently as he made his way around the group of about 10. There were not many instincts to go in the opposite direction like the first time you ran into this problem with him. Granted it was still kind of weird, but more admirable.

As soon as you got into the room and started to pull off jewelry, you heard him shutting the door behind you, “So, do we get to finish what we started yet?”

You couldn’t hide the laugh that started, “Hmmm… Shower first?”

He groaned, saying he agrees only if he can shower with you. You were not one to say no, after all. He walked straight in there, stripping clothes as he walked across the room. You of course had to grab all the essentials into a bag first to carry in there. There was no way you were going to use that shampoo, soap, and face wash they provide. Before walking into the already steamy room, you gathered his scattered clothing and threw it in the corner on top of his bag. Messy clothing happened to be one of his downfalls.

You placed all your clothing on the counter top before opening the shower door, greeted with a stupid youthful grin, happy he got his way.

“You really are just a big child, you know that?” You switched him spots so the water trickled over you, wetting your hair and warming your skin. You reached for the face wash first, turning away from him when you washed it away and caught him fixated on you.

His fingers working diligently through your hair with shampoo. You didn’t even have to ask. The friction against your scalp was worthy of a licensed masseuse. You held back a groan when he lifted his touch, turning you with your eyes closed so the water could flush the product away. The silent minutes turned softly intimate as he brushed the warm rain back from your face, reaching for the other bottle.

You felt his lips press firmly against your forehead, a gesture that warmed you apart from the water. You leaned forward into his abdomen so the fall of the water hit lower on your back while he ran conditioned fingers through your hair.

The raw intimacy that encompassed him was overbearing. It was almost as if he could feel his heart swell while you display yourself for him to care for. It wasn’t just a wash in the shower. It was the unspoken, ‘I trust you,’ that captured his attention. He remembered the days that you would shyly bare yourself to him and not accept his need to be near you and touching you.

Your tapping fingertips against his back broke him from his thoughts, silently instructing him to continue playing with your hair.

“Okay lean back,” his soft voice broke the silence. You held onto his arms as his hands worked against the waterfall to drain the conditioner from your hair, eventually letting go to wipe your eyes when he slowed to a stop.

You reached for your own body wash, spreading it across his chest and up to his shoulders. “My turn,” you told him.

He waited patiently, zoned in on your expression and touch while you ran your soapy digits across his skin. The pure contentment and innocence of it was driving him almost wild, running down his sides, down his arms, your fingers dancing slowly across his neck.

He quickly returned the favor, the length of his hands covering your back quickly, drawing down your backside and thighs, causing bumps across the surface of your skin to rise. You leaned into him again as he planted soft kisses across the back of your neck while his hands reached the insides of your thighs, squeezing gently causing you to almost lose your footing.

“Your skin is so soft Princess,” his whispers sent shivers down your spine and straight to your core. One hand left the party and traced up to your chest before wrapping around you there and the other finally ghosting over your clit. You jumped slightly in his hold, gasping at the contact.

His fingers slowly circled the nub, painfully, agonizingly slow while he listened to your labored breathing, a soft whine escaping you. Your brain starting to short circuit while you tried to hold on to every ounce of pleasure he would give you. You kept a steadfast grip on his forearms, trying to grind into his touch, a motion to beg for more that ended up driving against his hardening cock behind you.

You stilled hearing his voice in your ear. Two fingers teased your entrance, circling it and dipping his fingertips in to dance around lightly. The slow torture was enough for you to be letting out a quiet plea for more.

They shoved in, stretching you out on his fingers. Your balance almost gone if it weren’t for his arms holding you up. He quickly started to pulse around, tracing inside your slick heat untill the moans withered out to silent pants and your hands gripped his arms almost to tight.

Your eyes clamped shut as a wash of pleasure rolled through you, your walls squeezing around the intrusion while it dragged on till he slowed.

Hot kisses were placed over your neck and shoulder while your breathing was slowing, trying to gasp through the humid air. He was speaking praises in your ear, how good you were cumming around his fingers, letting him bring you there.

His hold released from you, quickly turning off the tap and grabbing for the white fluffy towel to dry you off and haul you out of the shower.

Before you could get a word out he was pushing you backwards out of the bathroom, straight back into the bed. No words needed to be spoken anyway. It was at the point where he just wanted you to feel what he could give you. Feel his love for you, outside of spoken words but through his actions and intentions.

His love ment pushing you to bliss 3 more times with a slow and deep rhythm that had you clawing from the sheets, pillows, to him arms in attempt to ground you from his onslaught. With tears peddling against your will when he thrust into you so deep and hard when you hit your last high, eyes almost blacking out for your overexertion and voice straining from an uncontrolled vocal response. The light headed dizzy feeling you get when he finally blows a load deep inside you after rutting against you for his high when he knew you could take no more. Proclaiming his promises against your neck while burying himself in you, that you knew deep down were not just from a sex high.

His fatigue ridden body laid tilting across you, trying not to crush but muscles shaking in place, refusing to cooperate enough to move farther away.

When you finally came to, almost clear headed enough to fully form a sentence, meaning your muscles lost the strained twitch and your eyes could open enough to focus on surroundings, you found him with a slower breathing pattern than your own, admiring you as if he hadn’t just done so for the past hour.

He brushed away tear marks and messy hair from your skin while you sported red swollen lips, blown out eyes, and deep red marks across your breasts to compliment your skin, courtesy of his attempt at showing affection and appreciation. The sight was a treat for his own to view, but was nothing compared the to the fucked out leaking mess he left you with on your bottom half.

You watched with lost eyes, not enough energy to stop him as his fingers gently ran up your mess, cleaning, gently pressing his seed filled fingers in. Your pelvis shook at the intrusion even though you were almost numb to his touch. The thought of his actions was enough to kick start your belonging underneath his bearing weight.

He pulled away, sensing your wariness, to treat your new marks across your chest to a soothing aftermath. Your arms gaining strength to redirect his lips again, timidly to your own. A soft press of his kiss was meticulous to avoid any more torments of your skin.

“All mine Princess.” A careful watched teetered over your expression, touch ghosting over your jaw as you nodded and rasped an ‘I love you,’ that was returned before you could even finish speaking the familiar the words.

“Don’t move baby, I’ll be right back.” He pulled from your weak hold and came back a minute later with boxers, he put use to a washcloth, and gifted you a clean t-shirt of his that you gladly slipped over your shoulders. You immediately nested through the blankets curling into his arm as a pillow.

“Aren’t you gonna play with my hair?” You asked, closing your eyes.

“Whatever you want.”

Taglist: @keithseabrook27 @odinson-barnes@jonsnowisthesexiestbastard@weekendswithnewtmas@innerpaperexpertcloud@toomanyflowerboys @thefashioncomplex@basmaraafat@imaginationintowords@taketimeandappreciate@superheroesaremytea @vampiregirl1797@ynm1505 @danathewitchywoman @aestheticallynon @thorfanficwriter @disaster-rose @cap-just-said-language @xmarveled

#chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth #hemsy #chris hems

144 notes · View notes

retrauxpunk · 4 years

Text

sv 6.04

spoiler-filled recap post under the cut

WHAT THE FUCK

i swear every single episode is gonna have me feeling like that because IT’S SO INTENSE i think i’ve forgotten how intense this show is because it’s prior to the release of s6 it’s been 2 years since i watched new episodes? and so i just know the storylines quite well and am familiar with everything?

but jesus christ!!

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

okay let’s start at the beginning:

FUCK ethan!!

WHAT THE FUCK

I had the vague inkling of a feeling that bringing on ethan would be the same as bringing on the carver, russ hanneman, jack barker, etc. in that it would seem to be good at first and then it would magnificently blow up AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK

there were so many intertwined storylines in this episode? i feel like there were more than usual? there was: richard and his conflict with ethan; gavin’s book thing; monica’s misadventures with feminism; gilfoyle’s budding friendship with john stafford (I STAN); jared’s story with his parents and gwart

THERE WAS SO MUCH.

last episode my fingers couldn’t keep up with my thoughts because it was such an amazing uplifting kickass episode, but this time i just feel, i dunno, kind of clogged with feelings/thoughts because there was a lot that happened in this episode and it was................ MOSTLY SAD????? mostly unpleasant?????? like it was a great episode but all the things that happened to the characters were like ... real shitty

HOLY SHIT the guy who plays ethan is SO GOOD at playing the role of the emotionally manipulative jackass prick who mistreats you and then acts like you’re the shitty one if you don’t ‘play along with the fun’ and so on like HOLY MOTHERFUCKER those types of people are the fucking worst and god i wish richard’s punch hand gotten him in the mouth instead or something (more on that later)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he was so terrible to richard! it fucking hurt! i was with dinesh! i watched richard’s balls getting kicked and my balls hurt in solidarity!! fuck!!

????!

richard what are you doing

it was, no lie, a little nice and fuzzy and heartwarming to see dinesh like sticking up for richard and trying to help him

even if it’s through the ‘dumbest thing i’ve ever seen’, that alpha male video.

WHAT WAS THAT

THAT WAS LEGIT like something out of IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA what the FUCK

i don’t object to it being in the show because, y’know, it’s within the bounds of the absurdities of the show and so on, but

WHAT! that had the exact same energy as the fight milk ads!!

i really like that richard’s initial reaction was ‘this is the dumbest thing i’ve ever seen’. what a shame he succumbed to it!!! ........but at least it wasn’t something worse that he succumbed too i guess???

POOR RICHARD

this is one of those episodes where i am entirely on richard’s side and have no complaints about him, he didn’t do anything wrong

omg i just remembered when he caught ethan’s eye in the opening scene and waved him in because of ‘dumb social shit’ (#relatable) ................WAS THAT BECAUSE HE WAS REFLEXIVELY REGRESSING TO HIS DOWNTRODDEN WAYS from when he was ethan’s report and was consistently having to defer to him and put up with his shit? and that’s why when ethan motions to like invite himself into richard’s office, that’s why richard just invites him in?

yeah that’s my opinion now

........

IT HURTS

IT HURTS WATCHING RICHARD GET KICKED AROUND BY ETHAN

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE

this is one of those times when richard’s like, trying to do a good/right thing and be nice and so on WHEN HE SHOULDN’T BE. like when he was ‘trying to respect’ erlich by refusing to hire jared patakian despite erlich giving him his blessing. and (to a lesser extent) when he went to have those chats with seth after gilfoyle stole the endframe login credentials, and when he gifted laurie some pied piper credits (where they credits? don’t remember the word)

UGH he was trying to be ~chill~ and not so uptight and so on BUT NO THIS IS NOT THE TIME RICHARD and no this is not what being a cool/nice person is! it is not putting up with this kind of shit!

i just felt so bad for him!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS ETHAN’S PROBLEM

god what a cock

I’M SO GLAD RICHARD PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE and honestly??? i wish the punch had fucking landed!! for once i’m sick of richard being an ineffectual klutz! i want him to try to kick ass and succeed!!! god!!

that’s what i want out of season 6, one (1) time when richard tries to do something physically badass like socking a deserving douchebag in the face and actually succeeds

can’t fucking believe he bought into dinesh’s dumbfuck alpha male video. UGH RICHARD

i mean at..........at least it makes him........feel better? idk

(in my personal hc richard manages to watch that fucking always sunny style video and not develop misogynistic tendencies as consequence because that would be lame if it happened)

I JUST HAD TO TAKE A BREAK FROM WRITING THIS RECAP BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH AN INTENSE EPISODE

6.3 was intense in the same way that like an adrenaline-fuelled ultimately victorious battle is intense, or like, idk, the lovechild of MDMA and acid???

6.4 is intense like the COMEDOWN. god

IT IS THE COMEDOWN, it’s the terrible fucking low that occurs in the wake of the soaring high of buying hooli!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay so that’s the richard storyline covered

y’know i was suspicious when ethan wanted to move things onto hooliphones, i thought it was maybe some kind of thing to sabotage pied piper in some way? but now i see maybe it’s just a way to get himself a job. and the bullying of richard is a way to soothe his own fragile ego i guess? hmm

gilfoyle’s friendship with john stafford! I LOVE IT! i love that the guy from the underground pits of jack barker’s box plan has returned! and he announces each hooliphone the way he announced each box ... excellent callback. AND THEY PLAY CHESS! AND HE BEAT GILFOYLE EVERY SINGLE TIME! YES!!!

GILFOYLE WHY DID YOU DELETE HIS FRIEND REQUEST

YOU WERE GONNA ACCEPT IT

YOUR CURSOR WAS HOVERING

WHY THE FUCK

some kind of lame-as-fuck attempt to maintain an idea of power in the dynamic? viewing the vulnerability of accepting a friend request as somehow being weak/lame?? just upset because he lost so many chess games??

hope it’s the the last one becaues that’s the least lame/sad of the three i thinkkkk

also his fucking feed full of dinesh hate. what a loser lmao perfectly suited to dinesh

i want them to kiss

ummmmmmmm monica!! lmao i enjoyed how they made her a female character who is successful but not actually personally interested in being a feminist activist, because i think that’s a thing that’s pretty real/relatable. like, you can be a woman who believes in gender equality but who doesn’t actually do stuff to actively advocate for it, and i think that’s a lot of people, and honestly i don’t think i’m quite like monica (i wouldn’t say the things she said about foxhole HAHAHHA) but i relate to it! i’m not a very politically active person at all, my ~activism is limited to being generally educated on stuff and calling out/discussing shitty things if friends/colleagues say them. so i guess i felt seen? #guiltyfeminist

when monica went to the panel........... and then priyanka totally outshone her ........ i felt a little bad for monica but she was pawning off foxhole to priyanka entirely selfishly because she herself didn’t want to be involved and so i didn’t feel too bad for her :pp

good on priyanka! all that stuff she’s doing sounds awesome!

except the beginning where she referenced her ‘network of awesome women coders’ or something like that, i found that phrasing uhhhhhhh cringey. cliquey. didn’t like it, but that’s just my subjective feeling. also i suspect it was meant to be a little satirical of uberwokeness so fair :P

richard giving monica foxhole ‘for optics’ and then doing the handwavey ‘just make it work, for women’ ........ a brilliant sad-funny representation of extremely superficial and empty meaningless ‘feminism’

laurie lasering in on gwart because she’s also eating that vegetable in a weird way! nice.

OKAY JARED? JARED

FUCK

we see him set up in pied piper’s offices meaning he at least took up richard’s offer which is nice

his parents?

fuck ‘em

they deserve to rot, obviously

sociopaths

i............................... it was an upsetting scene, i’m not sure why it’s in the show............ perhaps to give rise to jared’s whole ‘i must have rejected them and rejected everyone else who’s been kind’ thing that he’s doing in a desperate bid to understand/make sense of his suffering ....... which gives rise to his thing about rejecting richard...

i guess maybe he’s doing that thing where he’s repeating past cycles of trauma/abandonment? that’s what’s (at least partially) driving his stubborn refusal to rejoin richard? is it that he (on some not-necessarily-conscious level) believes himself unworthy of happiness and self-sabotages? and all of that mixes with his fear of fucking up pied piper with his feelings (the way he did in 6.1) and that keeps him away from richard?

I DON’T KNOW IT’S COMPLICATED AND MAKES ME SAD

that thing he said about how he has to stay with gwart . .............. god this stupid entirely arbitrary rule he’s set for himself, it’s so fucking painful

ETHAN’S REPENTANCE WAS DUE TO THREAT FROM HOLDEN? WOW

good on you holden i guess!! .....?

i HATE the whole ‘jared threatening holden and emotionally abusing him into the perfect assistant for richard’ arc because that was painful and i feel like it was played for laughs but i didn’t find it funny or good at all

so in this case it was kinda vindicating to see holden no longer terrified of jared and kind of sassing him (’don’t you have somewhere to be’)

..............what was with the end of the cold open where richard’s like ‘holden i wanted water’??? or something? didn’t holden give him the water partway through ethan’s presentation? ugH

GWART FIRING JARED

FUCK YES! THANK YOU GWART

JARED TALKING ABOUT HOW HE’S FREE TO GO WITH RICHARD

HOLY FUCK

YEAH SO OF COURSE OUR BOY JARED WANTS TO BE WITH RICHARD and now that gwart (his temporarily chosen ‘leader’/person to be devoted to) has given him orders (and therefore permission) to fuck off, he CAN BE WITH RICHARD without feeling like he’s, i dunno, being disloyal.

HURRAH

so the episode ENDS on jared asserting that there is a space for him to be with richard? homg seems like 6.5 is gonna go HEAVY ON THE JARRICH again?????

HNNNG

this was a tense episode and i’m upset

like it was a decent episode, i didn’t think it was bad quality, i’m just sad

#rain watches sv s6 #sv s6 #sv s6 spoilers #silicon valley spoilers #silicon valley #sv squad #my sv text posts #precipitation

12 notes · View notes

lisinfleur · 5 years

Text

Bonita

Author’s Notes | Hey, dear anon! Thank you for the challenge! This is the first time I risked to write for a Hispanic Reader and I really hope it is well written! I would really like to thank my sweet friend @honestsycrets for the help with the details from her beautiful lands! May the gods bless me one day with the sweet chance to know and hug you in person, Bonita... Universe | Vikings Pairing | Hvitserk x Reader Info | Hispanic! Reader, Modern AU, requested by anon for 5CW5 Words | 1699 ⁑ Warnings: None

"What a damn lucky bastard you are!"

Hvitserk knew exactly what Ommar and Knut were talking about with those elbows hitting his ribs.

"She's fucking great, bro. Legit curves from Puerto Rico's fire, man!"

Hvitserk took a sip from his drink; the taste remembering him from the first time he saw her and how he was just as idiot as those two assholes beside him now.

He could remember he sighed at the sight of her curves, thinking she was the sexiest woman he ever saw in his life. Her skin was caressed by the sun and her traces seemed to be hand painted by an artist with his brush sliding in a single line to draw the suavity of those curves and circles and forms of her body. The beautiful lips smiled at his face, colored like the berries of autumn, adorning the face framed by the beautiful dark curls of her hair, cascading through her shoulders, down to her waist. She was the day and the night in a perfect marriage as if the sun had kissed her skin from the morning until the moment the moon decided to embrace her with the cloak of the dark sky, locking stars into the two dark lagoons she had in her eyes. A piece of art he couldn't avoid admiring, stunned by such unique beauty he never saw before in the lands he came from.

He giggled, remembering how innocent and stupid he was. She was so much more... But at that moment, he lost completely the attention to the menu card in his hand, the reason why she had approached him in the first place: He had the biggest number of wrinkles in his forehead she ever saw someone show while reading that thing, so, she thought she could help the foreigner with the obvious confusion about her language.

"May I?" she pointed the card and Hvitserk kinda woke up from his trance, remembering he wanted a drink, looking at the menu once again.

"Ah... Yes... Please... I..." he giggled, remembering how the words simply escaped him completely, despite the fact that there were a bunch of stupid ways to hit on her dancing in his mind.

At least, he had the good sense to avoid all of them. But in the end, he ended up looking even more like a silly tourist, babbling in front of her.

However, she was used to dealing with silly people like him and her smile opened once again, like the sunrise in the sky.

"Here, this one is made of..." she started explaining every single item of the menu for him, translating the words with that beautiful accent in her voice, so melodic.

Hvitserk remembered how he wanted that card to have a thousand items so, he could hear her voice forever.

But the list wasn't that long, and when she finished, he smiled back at her gentleness.

"What would you recommend for me?" he asked, trying to have more of her attention.

And she kindly pointed the number three of his card, smiling.

"Try the Don Q Limon with Cranberry Juice," she said, causing his lips to curve in a smile. "It's a local brand of rum. You may like the experience," she suggested, gentle.

Hvitserk took a new sip from his cup, remembering that moment. The drink became his favorite, just because it tasted like a good memory. One of the best of his life, he had to admit.

At that night, he paid not one, but two cups of that drink, offering a drink to the beautiful girl who was so kind to the foreign stranger. She accepted his drink and his company and the two of them had a long conversation, even laughing together, sharing not one, but various drinks before the night was too high and she said she had to go. And only then, at the time of her departure, the two of them noticed they had forgotten the simplest part of that interaction:

"Sorry..." Hvitserk said when messing with his phone to ask for her number. "But... What is your name?"

The two of them laughed together of that for weeks... And this was the reason why she still called him "Frowny" sometimes, such as he gained the habit to call her with one of the firsts words he discovered from her language... Bonita.

That night, Hvitserk remembers they exchanged messages until the dawn and through the morning on. Laughing emojis had replaced the laughs of the night and he said several times he wanted to see her again. They meet each other dozens of times and she showed him lots of places in her town, always playing about how he looked like a tourist even when he was trying the most to mix with the locals and not to seem so foreign.

He discovered the flavor of coconut water, some steps of her dance and notes of her music; she showed him how to speak some of her words and jokes from her people; stories, traditions, parties, kisses... With Y/N, Hvitserk discovered the magic of that place was too much more than just the beautiful women and beaches.

He discovered she worked on a family shop, selling handmade souvenirs and some dishes from the local cuisine - his absolute favorite kind of store: beautiful things and delicious food. Hvitserk spent hours there with her, learning from the flavors to the histories behind the Vejigante Masks her mother and her produced to sell at the store. He even brought one - red, white and black! - to his mother. He could remember how fascinated she was by the handmade piece that was now exposed in a wall of her corridor, proudly hanging at the wall.

To go back home after the first time was painful. And for a time, Hvitserk remembers he thought his Bonita would forget him. Silly boy... The one who was, at the first moment, planning to have a delicious and lustful night with a woman he would completely leave to his memory in the following morning; was now completely fallen for her sweet words, spoken to his ears at the airport, when they exchanged one last kiss before his departure.

"Vuelve pronto, mi Frowny," she said, nuzzling her nose to his neck, near his ear shell. "I'll miss you."

He came back.

Not one time, but two, three... Whenever he had the chance, he came back to be received by the true fire from Puerto Rico he discovered had nothing to do with the sex appeal of those beautiful women and men from that place.

The true fire was into her heart, enlightening her dark eyes whenever they landed on his image coming from the airport into her arms once again.

Hvitserk could remember lots of things from her. The first time he brought his mother to meet her - and how sweet her family was, receiving them as if they were a part of the house. The way she used to help him with the terrible heat of those lands - and how good it was to share the shower with her, shivering satisfaction under the cold water, against her skin; or simply lay down on her bed, the bare feet touching each other, pretending to fight for the air of the floor fan. He could remember the nights at her balcony, her body sitting in the middle of his legs, her back against his chest and her sweet lips kissing his neck while his eyes were looking at the beautiful sky over them both, full of stars.

However, what he couldn't remember was when his heart changed that way. When she became the blood of his veins or his skin became so addicted to her presence that his homelands weren't attractive anymore. His own apartment was cold, the places were sad, the sky was grey.

Hvitserk wasn't spending his vacations at Puerto Rico with her. He felt like his soul was living with her, in those heated lands, while his body was spending work time in the cold places where he came from.

What was a chance for a one-night stand girl became the reason why he became passionate for planes and never again he spent a single vacation in his home unless he could bring her to stay with him and warm his nights.

"Try not to get burnt on those flames, buddy!" Ommar's voice kinda woke Hvitserk's mind from the memories.

This time, the friends from his land wanted to come with him since he was the one who knew about the customs and language from the place they wanted to know. Hvitserk rolled his eyes. If she was flames, then he was a moth already taken, burnt to ashes long ago. And he liked this way.

He liked the way her spirit was free like the fire he was now so habituated to understand. The fire his foolish friends were too blind to really contemplate.

She was this fire. Her spirit, her curves, her eyes, her smiles, her words...

Her love.

Hvitserk left the empty cup over the table and smiled at his friends.

"I would be happy to burn, my friend," he said, pulling the small velvet box from his pocket, causing Ommar's eyes to become large and Knut to gasp with his drink before Hvitserk could smile.

It was funny to see how foolish he was one day. Good to notice he had grown into someone so better than before.

And it was all because of her.

"But this fire is not for everyone, Ommar. It has to accept you. To want you. And I'll be blessed if those flames decide I'm dignified enough to become one with them".

Holding his velvet box in his hand, he walked towards the dance floor. His precious Y/N so beautifully lost in the music...

"Hey... Mi Bonita!" he called, smiling.

From the iced lands of the Vikings, he came to know her flames. And maybe, if he was really as lucky as Ommar and Knut and many others before then said, then he would be able to play with her a song of ice and fire...

Do you like my work? Support me!

Tagged ones:

|| @bluearchersstuff || @ivarswickedqueen || @directionlessbuthappy || @akamaiden || @bang-kim-bap || @cris101071 || @solveigs-temple || @volvas-temple || @alicedopey || @captstefanbrandt || @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla || @lol-haha-joke || @normatural || @readsalot73 || @shutter-bug124 || @rekdreams247 || @slutforasoldier || @naaladareia || @laketaj24 || @therealcalicali || @grungyblonde || @arses21434 || @honestsycrets || @rabeccablake || @2thequietone4 || @blackspiritshake || @vikingsbifrost || @sincerelysinister || @x-valhalla || @allvikingsfanfic || @calum-hoodwinked-me || @lyanna-the-giantsbane || @chinduda || @isthat-tyra98 || @hissouthernprincess ||

Want to be tagged? Ask me!

#history vikings #imagine vikings #hvitserk #hviserk x reader #hvitserk imagine #hvitserk ragnarsson #hvitserk lothbrok #hvitserk white shirt #hvitserk’s heathen feast #sister wives #5CW #5CW Event #5CWHvitserk2 #shot

50 notes · View notes

pertinax--loculos · 4 years

Text

[Excerpt from Hellbent]

[A somewhat important scene I banged out today. I am not as happy with this as I normally am with my writing; something about it feels off but I can’t put my finger on what it is. So if it’s awful, please be gentle. :D

Context: Alec really doesn’t trust Raleigh. At this point, Raleigh is feeding the occasional tidbit of information to the Brotherhood. He is conflicted.

Content Warning: non-graphic drug use]

****

He stopped again at the sound of pounding footsteps, a fast, heavy beat that sounded like someone taking the stairs two at a time. They got steadily closer until the attic door flew open and Alec practically skidded inside.

“We found him,” he gasped.

Raleigh blinked and glanced at Dash, who looked equally confused. “Well, hello to you too.”

Alec ran a hand over his close-cropped hair and walked further into the room. His eyes found Raleigh and his animated smile disappeared, replaced by the more familiar scowl.

He turned back to Dash. “Can we speak in private?”

Raleigh felt an unreasonable surge of persecution at that, but he shifted, starting to get up.

“Nah.” Dash’s foot touched his knee and Raleigh stopped, startled. “It’s okay. Pretty Boy’s good.” He nudged his knee, not gently. “Aintcha?”

Raleigh swallowed hard against the guilt that threatened to choke him. There was no use feeling guilty. He was doing this for Dash’s own good. The fact that he apparently trusted him so much already would only help in that endeavour.

His throat remained too tight to speak. He nodded instead.

Dash grinned at him and looked back to Alec. “So what’d you say?”

Alec continued to glare at Raleigh for a few seconds, before he dragged his eyes back to Dash. The hint of a smile returned to his face. “We found him.”

Dash rolled his eyes. “You found who?”

“Dantalion.”

Alec’s voice was hushed with awe; a near-reverence that made Raleigh shift uncomfortably. Before now he’d only ever heard that tone in a religious context, and to hear it applied to a simple man – and a brainbent one, at that – set his teeth on edge.

Dash’s face was impassive, but his eyes were cold and flat. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Alec took a step forward and Dash clambered to his feet; Raleigh followed suit, feeling thoroughly ignored.

“Look, I know that you’re deadset on believing he died as a toddler.” Alec’s enthusiasm had returned in full; he was practically bouncing from side to side as he shifted his weight. “But this guy is legit. Libbo, y’know, the author of Liberal Minds, says-”

Dash scoffed, crossing his arms. “Seriously? You got all this from a fucking blog? God, Alec, come on, you’re smarter than this. Don’t go falling for some guy making wild claims on the fucking internet.”

“I’m not falling for-” Alec broke off, clasping his hands in front of his mouth as he took a deep breath. When he continued his voice was much quieter, calm and even. “He didn’t contact the blog. He contacted us, directly. The Partners. And it’s not a wild claim. He has proof; dates and events he remembers, his school records, the fucking adoption paperwork. Libbo checked it all out and it’s legit. He’s for-fucking-real, Dash. It’s him.”

Raleigh blinked, a wave of anxiety washing over him. If Alec was right this was big. It was everything the Partners had been waiting for, the break that might give them the confidence to finally start acting instead of talking.

The Brotherhood would definitely want to know about this.

He looked back at Dash and frowned. He stood unmoving, his narrowed eyes the only sign of what he was thinking.

“It’s bullshit, is what it is,” he said through his teeth.

“Dammit, Dash-” Alec caught himself again and took another step forward, his face beseeching. “Okay, look. He’s holding a meeting, tomorrow night in the Trenches. To introduce himself properly, and to address any problems that we might have. You should come, at least listen to what he has to say. Maybe that’ll help convince you, if the paperwork alone isn’t enough.”

Dash still hadn’t moved. “I’m not gonna be convinced.”

“For fuck’s sake…” Alec ran a hand over his scalp again as a noise of frustration rose in his throat. He looked up and then cut his eyes to Raleigh.

His heart skipped a beat, and he straightened a little without thinking, Alec’s full attention making his palms clammy.

“You talk to him,” Alec said. “He seems to listen to you, for some godforsaken reason.”

Raleigh had forgotten to breathe, but he managed a tiny nod.

“I am standing right here,” Dash growled.

Alec looked back at him and shook his head a little, before he turned on his heel and stalked out, slamming the attic door behind him.

Raleigh turned back to Dash. He was staring at the door, a nerve twitching high up in his jaw. After a couple of beats he whirled around and walked over to the table to swipe up his pills; he threw some into his mouth, washed them down with water, and started pacing up and down the back wall.

His shoulders were hunched and his fingers were curled into fists; every couple of steps he kicked at the floor, hostility rolling off him in waves. When it became apparent he wasn’t going to say anything, Raleigh took a deep breath.

“Um,” he started.

Dash spun towards him. “What?!”

“Whoa, easy.” Raleigh held up his hands, taking a small step backwards. “Alright, I’m not gonna say anything.”

Dash reeled back around and continued pacing. After about a minute, by Raleigh’s count, he stopped and scrubbed his hands over his face. “Sorry.”

Raleigh gave a somewhat convincing shrug. He watched as Dash fidgeted for another couple of beats.

“Do you wanna- can we get out of here? Go somewhere?”

Raleigh only just managed to control his shocked expression. “Sure. Where did you wanna go?”

“I don’t care.” Dash blew a sigh out between his teeth and raked a hand through his hair. “I just- I’ve just gotta get out of this house.”

“Alright. Sure.” Raleigh moved over to the table to grab his keys and phone; after a moment of hesitation he took Dash’s cigarettes as well, tossing them to him as he straightened.

That got him the flicker of a smile. “Thanks.” He immediately fished one out of the packet and Raleigh heard him light it as he started for the door.

When they reached Raleigh’s car Dash stopped, leaning back against the trunk.

Raleigh fought back the apprehension that came with the thought he might be snapped at again and said, cautiously, “You good?”

Dash raised an eyebrow and then the hand with the cigarette. “Figured you wouldn’t want me stinking up your upholstery.”

Actually Raleigh hadn’t even considered that. He’d been too preoccupied, both with Dash’s visceral reaction to what he thought would’ve been good news and with how the Brotherhood would react to the same information.

“Oh,” he said after one too many beats. “Good call. Thanks.”

A strange look flitted over Dash’s face, gone before Raleigh could identify it. He didn’t respond.

Raleigh resisted the urge to fidget as he waited. Instead he focused on watching Dash; his smooth, habitual movements, the way his eyes closed when he drew the smoke into his lungs. It was the most genuine enjoyment of the vice Raleigh had ever seen. He didn’t exactly know a lot of smokers, but those that he did always made it seem incidental, like they barely realised they were doing it. Dash, however, barely seemed aware of anything else. The rest of the world was incidental to him.

“You keep staring at me like that people are gonna talk,” Dash said as he flicked the end of the cigarette away, startling Raleigh out of his reverie. It took him a beat to process the words and then heat flooded his cheeks.

Dash smirked. “You’ve got the keys, Pretty Boy.”

By some miracle Raleigh managed to not fumble them as he unlocked the car, angling inside. By the time they were both seated he’d finally found his voice again. “Where to?”

Dash’s brief good humour had evaporated. He glared out of the windscreen, his fingers worrying one of his sleeves. “Wherever.”

Raleigh closed his eyes for a beat, sent a quick prayer for patience, and turned the car over.

****

Tag List: @adie-dee @bogbodybitch

Just ask if you’d like to be added or removed from the tag list. :)

#writing #writeblr #WIP #original writing #excerpt #WIP:Hellbent

2 notes · View notes

jbuffyangel · 5 years

Text

Disloyalty: Arrow 7x20 Review (Confessions)

Is anyone feeling like the ramp up to the season finale is lacking ramp up? Cause I do.

Also, it’s time to talk about D*nah.

Let’s dig in…

D*nah Dr*ke

The fact I’m starting with D*nah and not with Felicity or Olicity really says it all doesn’t it? Where should the priorities be right now given that it’s Emily Bett Rickard’s final few episodes? Hint: IT’S NOT D*NAH DR*KE.

“Confessions” employs a well known cinematic story telling device called the “Rashomon Effect.” It’s named after a 1950 film where a murder is described in four contradictory ways by four witnesses. Cool right? Yes, it’s a wonderful way of showing how an individual’s perspective, and self interests, can warp “the truth.” One of the best films to employ this technique is called Courage Under Fire. It stars Denzel Washington, Meg Ryan and Matt Damon. Watch it. Thank me later.

I think the Arrow writers are using the Rashomon Effect in “Confessions” but that doesn’t mean it’s effective. The episode has the same problem as “Spartan.” It’s placement in the season is bizarre. “Confessions” would work much better if it aired in the 10-15 episode range, but as one of the final it’s kind of a snoozer. I was super bored. Bored and annoyed. That’s me.

“Confessions” is a looooooot of exposition. Two guards have been murdered and once again Oliver Queen & Co. stands accused. My irritation begins with the Star City Police Department. At this point these ungrateful and disloyal twiddle dinks deserve everything the Ninth Circle has coming to them. My firm belief is Oliver and Felicity should dump this Emiko mess on SCPD’s lap, get the hell out of town and raise their family in peace. But they won’t do that because they are “heroes.” Their selflessness is super annoying.

The good news is our Parkour Prince and Olicity’s first born son Roy Harper is back in town! Oh how I have missed that perfectly sculpted jaw line.

Source: arrowdaily

The big question of course is who killed the two guards? I mean… I guess I care.

I’m not completely heartless. It’s sad the two guards are dead, but we already know Oliver didn’t do it. Neither did Felicity or Diggle. D*nah is investigating, so I’m assuming that puts her in the clear. So that leaves Rene, Roy or Emiko.

We can boil this list down even further given how shifty Roy is acting and the fact we know he’s living on a deserted island twenty years in the future. It’s either Roy or Emiko. I’m five minutes in and I’ve already figured out 95% of the plot. Yawn.

Every character gets their turn in the hot seat with D*nah and Sergeant Bingsley (isn’t that a great name?), who pretty much hates Oliver.

Source: smoakmonster

I’m not going through every single character’s perspective on the events in question mostly because it’s pretty boring (save for Felicity). Oliver, Felicity, Diggle, Roy and Rene’s details vary but all their stories arrive at the same conclusion – they didn’t do it and Oliver’s terrorist sister probably did.

Source: smoakmonster

This leaves us with one of two options – either Oliver & team are telling the truth about Emiko or they are covering for someone on the team i.e. Roy. Here’s where we arrive to the crux of my problem with “Confessions.”

D*nah Dr*ke.

The whole story hinges on D*nah either being a disloyal jackass or the audience believing she’s a disloyal jackass. Neither option says very good things about her character.

Oliver is sorry about the guards, but the team stopped a terrorist act so they are ahead by the numbers and boy he ain’t wrong! Yeah I know. Every life matters but also THEY STOPPED A TERRORIST.

D*nah and the SCPD’s evidence against Oliver is the guard’s were killed by emerald green arrows. DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!! It’s too bad there isn’t another vigilante dressing like the Green Arrow running all over town. OH WAIT THERE IS.

D*nah and Oliver fess up to knowing the identity of the New GA and he admits Emiko is his half sister. Oliver seems extremely reluctant to name his sister as the murderer. D*nah and Bingsley believe Oliver is protecting Emiko, so it feels legit when he quietly confesses she killed the guards. She is the reason Oliver is lying and stonewalling, so Bingsley (kind of) buys his story. Quite frankly this is a stroke of genius. My boy was on fire with the plans tonight!

Long story short, Roy killed the guards in a fit of bloodlust rage, but Oliver is ride or die for his boy and insists the team cover for him.

Source: smoakmonster

However, Oliver’s plan is completely dependent on D*nah accusing her teammates of murder to misdirect the investigation, so he can casually/not so causally point the finger at Emiko.

Source: smoakmonster

We spend much of the episode listening to D*nah say, “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” and, “I want to believe you Oliver but you gotta admit this looks really bad,” because the arrows are green.

Me: Holy hell woman. He went to prison for you. What more does he have to do to inspire some friggin loyalty from you?

Oliver argues pretty much all of my words because he feels me on a spiritual level. He didn’t do it. D*nah should know him better than that. And all he gets is her stony face and judgmental eyes. I mean, God forbid Oliver Queen make the department look bad!

The reason Oliver used D*nah this way is because she’s been judgmental and disloyal all season long. She barely lifted a finger to help Felicity get Oliver out of prison, she arrested Rene for being a vigilante and was up Siren’s ass all the time. (Okay, that last one was warranted.) Her primary worry is holding on to her job as captain. And don’t even get me started on Season 6.

Felicity: Oh you mean when Ricardo Diaz kidnapped Roy to turn him against Oliver? You might have forgotten about that since you weren’t exactly on speaking terms with Oliver and I at the time.

BOOM. Felicity Smoak is my level of petty. I love it. Drag her sis.

At first, I thought the writers were going with Plan A – Emiko killed the guards. So, my irritation with D*nah and her constant blame game when it came to Team Arrow’s actions were at an all time high. I’m not kidding. I want Siren back. Can we do a Canary exchange? E2 gets D*nah . At least the writers have picked a personality with this version of LL. I’ve gone from advocating for Laurel’s death to missing her newest incarnation. This is a full circle moment.

D*nah has many of the character problems E1 L*urel had. The writers are 100% committed to assassinating her character whenever the plot deems necessary. There’s really no other explanation for D*nah’s flip flopping personality and constant suspicions of Oliver Queen. We’ve been here before.

I know for many outside fandom this Roy reveal was an extremely great GOTCH YA,

but I think fandom was on to Roy + rage = Lazarus Pit since the beginning of the season. It’s fine. We’re a very difficult group to surprise because we pay attention to all the itty bitty details a casual viewer blows right past. That wasn’t my annoyance with the episode.

My annoyance is the writers knew I would be annoyed with D*nah and believe she is selling out the team.

Sometimes Arrow is very self aware and this is one of those moments. They know fans are frustrated with the character and yet instead of fixing it they lean into it.

D*nah is blaming and accusing Oliver every other week. Her behavior really hasn’t changed that much from Season 6. So, the one time she’s on board with Oliver’s call I’m supposed to rejoice? No.

Sorry, particularly when the writers use her awfulness to sell the ruse. IF YOU KNOW SHE IS AWFUL THEN WHY DON’T YOU FIX IT?

I couldn’t even be happy about D*nah being “one for all and all for one” because she continues to bitch about protecting Roy to Oliver after they are cleared by the police.

D*nah: Two innocent people died and we’re covering it up.

Oliver: D*nah is someone on this team goes down then this entire team goes down.

Felicity and Diggle also make strong arguments about sitting in lock up while Emiko wreaks havoc on the city. OTA is strongly #TeamProtectRoy.

Source: lucyyh

Rene: But Roy’s not a part of this team. He’s been gone for months doing who knows what.

Oliver: With due respect, you don’t know what he’s been through. Roy is and will always be as much a part of this team as the rest of us.

D*nah: Except the rest of us don’t go around killing innocent people.

OKAY NEW KIDS. You’ve been going here for two stinking years whereas Roy has been around since Season 1. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.

I understand D*nah and Rene don’t have a personal connection to Roy, but when the guy who went to prison for you vouches for him then that’s all they should need. PICK A SIDE. Are you on this team or are you out? If you’re on the team then fall in line.

One thing I will always love about Oliver Queen is his LOYALTY. Roy sacrificed everything for Oliver, so he doesn’t even blink at two dead guards.

Roy was clearly out of his mind, so the Newbies need to take a beat and follow the leader. Maybe you don’t know Roy, but they should know Oliver by now. And that’s the essential problem. Do Rene and D*nah trust Oliver Queen? No. I don’t think they do. Not fully. So what the hell are they doing here?

Also, has D*nah completely forgotten she is also a murderer? Because I haven’t.

The difference between Roy and D*nah is she doesn’t have bloodlust as an excuse. She was of sound mind and body when she pulled the trigger, so I really need her to shove the moral condemnation.

The entire reason this episode focused so much on D*nah is because she has been the character most predisposed to disloyalty this season. The entire reason this ruse worked on any kind of level with the audience is because we believed D*nah’s disloyalty. The entire reason Oliver knew the plan would fool the police is because D*nah’s disloyalty is believable. That is a very big problem. She is not a character I root for anymore and what’s even sadder is the writers don’t seem to care.

Roy Harper

I’m not putting my frustrations with “Confessions” all at D*nah’s feet. Now is the time to take a long and hard look at our problematic son Roy Harper.

Here’s how the episode should have gone:

Roy: I died, Thea dipped me in the Pit and we used the Lotus Elixir, but I still have rage issues because Mirakuru is forever screwing me over.

Oliver: Cool.

Then, Dad would send son out into the field with a babysitter. Kind of like a buddy system. By the way, didn’t they use the only Lotus Elixir on Thea in Season 3? Me thinks yes, but apparently Nyssa has access to a whole lotus garden now.

What’s hilarious about this is Oliver used the Pit on Thea, she used the Pit on Roy and L*urel used it on Sara. And yet they adamantly refuse to use it on L*urel. Nyssa has plenty of Lotus Elixir and Constantine is flying around time with Sara, but they still won’t resurrect her character. Oh Arrow. I see your petty and I love it.

(Yeah I know they aren’t resurrecting Moira, Tommy, Robert, etc. but none of those people are actively seeking employment on the show.)

Anywho, back to Roy. Oliver brought him back to town because Emiko doesn’t know who he is and he could be their ace in the hole. Also they needed someone really good are parkour.

The writers addressed the “Why not Thea?” question, but Oliver’s answer left something to be desired. He’s not going to tell Thea about Emiko until she’s in custody?

Uhhh… okay. I understand Oliver not wanting to drag Thea back into the Star City drama, but he could pick up the phone and let her know what’s going on. I’m not comfortable with a lie by omission. Would Thea come running home if she knew about Emiko? Yeah, maybe but I feel confident they could cook up a Lazarus Pit emergency instead of Oliver lying to his sister. Again.

This is 99.99% Roy’s fault and I’m glad Oliver holds him responsible for keeping a secret like this. It is possible to love and protect someone while holding them accountable. It doesn’t have to be either or.

This is what loyalty, friendship and team work looks like. D*nah and Rene could learn a few things from Oliver Queen.

Felicity Smoak and Olicity

It’s frustrating we’re on episode 20 and I’m spending 95% of my review talking about D*nah and Roy. I have long ago accepted Arrow is never going to focus on Felicity Smoak and Olicity to the level I would like them too. I’ve let that anger die many moons ago. However, I do occasionally get frustrated and this is one of those episodes. The need to use Felicity Smoak to her max potential seems even more urgent because of Emily’s impending exit.

And yet, Arrow remains Arrow. They won’t shift from standard operating procedure even now. Generally speaking, the big Olicity moments happen in the premiere, mid season finale/mid season premiere and season finale. I get it, but EMILY IS LEAVING.

It’s time to chuck the SOP. Granted they’ve focused on Felicity more than ever have before, but this kind of exposition episode and focus on secondary characters would have been an easier pill to swallow if it came earlier in the season. But 7x20?

Maybe there’s an explanation for that and maybe there’s not. I don’t know for sure, but as a viewer it frustrates me.

Upside: We watched Felicity eat a bunch of yummies and be her perfect, adorable self.

Source: lucyyh

She almost told Roy she was preggo and Oliver had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing.

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Her feelings about Rene are the same as mine and it gives me life.

Source: smoakmonster

We end on a cliffhanger with a worried wifey freaking about bae.

Source: olivergifs

And her hair is its own storyline. Wow.

Source: smoakmonster

The fact these are the only real moments I have from one of Felicity’s final episodes is sad to me, but I appreciate them nonetheless. Despite my love, Arrow is an imperfect show and it will remain so until the very end.

Stray Thoughts

Tweet of the night.

THEA IS HAPPY. DO NOT TOUCH MY CHILD WRITERS.

It’s entirely possible Roy goes to Lian Yu because he can’t find a cure for the bloodlust and cools his heels there for the last 20 years. Pretty much anything is better than the writers killing Thea, so if it protects my Theroy happy ending then I’ll get behind it. They are literally dumping characters in Pauseville until the series finale and I am here for it.

Do Thea and Roy both have a red hooded jacket or do they sharesies?

Look I get Rene is in love with Emiko, but she's trying to murder her brother on the regular for stuff Robert Queen did so this whole “family is important to her” stance he is taking is completely laughable. Will anyone on this show ever make sense? Oh right. Felicity AND SHE IS LEAVING.

Oliver is making a shocking amount of sense. Fully realized superhero Oliver is so unnerving. EPIC MOMENT. Source: olivergifs

I'm glad Emiko finally dropped the Gambit bomb. Pun intended. Oliver needs to know the evil sister has been plotting since S1 because full circle baby!!!

Me: It's gonna take a lot more than dropping a building on him to kill Oliver Queen.

Also me: SOMEONE SAVE HIM!!!!!!!! THERE'S TOO MANY TOMMY MEMORIES AND I CAN'T HANDLE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE IT STAHP!!!! Source olicitygifs

The final five minutes were good and delivered an action packed punch, but man it was a slow ride to get there. Time to pick up the pace Arrow! We’re almost to the finish line.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x20 gifs credited.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

#arrow #arrow 7x20 review #arrow 7x20 #anti dinah drake #roy harper #anti rene ramirez #anti laurel lance #felicity smoak #oliver queen #olicity #arrow spoilers #arrow reviews #arrow season 7 #arrow season 7 reviews #season 7 episode review #season 7 episode reviews

52 notes · View notes