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onlyfreds · 3 years

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Closer | F.W.

Title: Closer (High School!Au)

Requested: Yes/No

Summary: Fred Weasley is one of Hogwarts High’s most popular students. On the other hand, Y/N L/N is the school’s smartest. After the latter starts tutoring Fred, he starts to wonder why he had never noticed her before.

“I love you! No time to explain!”

Those were the words that started my relationship with Fred Weasley.

Nobody really expected that school’s smartest student would end up dating the most popular one.

But let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

It was started on a Monday morning at the Cafeteria.

“I thought you were supposed to call me?” My best friend, Jennie, said as she sat in front of me.

Unfortunately, I was too busy staring at the most popular (and most handsome) student in school, Fred Weasley.

I was pulled out of my trance by Jennie snapping her fingers in front of my face, “Hello? Are you even listening?”

I gave her a blank look, “Sorry, what did you say?”

“I thought you were supposed to call me?” She repeated.

I smiled sheepishly at her, “Sorry, I was in such a rush this morning that I forgot.”

“Now that’s resolved.” She said with a small smile, “Who were you busy staring at?”

My eyes widened at her words, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jennie playfully rolled her eyes, “You fully know what I’m talking about.”

She then turned to look behind her, exactly in the direction I was looking at earlier.

“Ooh.” She mused as I felt my cheeks heat up, “You were staring at Fred.”

I looked down at my hands, “I wasn’t.”

“Come on.” She said, slightly leaning forward “It’s not like I’m a stranger. You know that you can tell me.”

I looked up at her, “You promise you’ll keep it a secret?”

Jennie laughed, “When did I ever share your secrets to anyone else? I didn’t even tell anyone about the party you threw while your parents were away.”

“Fine.” I said, “I have a thing for Fred.”

She squealed, “Do you want me to put in a good word for you? He’s in my friend group.”

“What? No.” I said a little too quickly, “Besides, why would he be interested in me?”

“Why not?” Jennie said, giving me a look, “You’re practically the smartest girls in this school, not to mention the prettiest one too!”

I scoffed, “The prettiest? You flatter me, Jennie.”

“What?” She said, “It’s true.”

I rolled my eyes at her, “Come on, we’ll be late for class.”

“Fine. Fine.” She tutted, “But I can always- “

“Jennie!”

“Okay! I get it, you think that you’re not good enough for him.”

I sighed, adjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder, “It’s not that I think that I’m not good enough for him. It’s just that there are so many other better options that someone like him can choose from, and I’m not one of them.”

“Fine. Whatever you say.” She said as we entered the classroom.

Our Biology class was already dismissed for the day; I was packing up my stuff to leave when our professor called for Fred.

I already slung my bag over my shoulder, and I was about to head out of the door when our professor called me, “Miss L/N, can you stay back for a minute?”

I stopped in my tracks, turning around and slowly walking towards the desk where Professor Lupin and Fred were standing.

“Yes Professor?” I asked, slightly aware of Fred’s gaze on me.

“Mr. Weasley here may be having a bit trouble with the subject. Since you’re the best student in my class. I was hoping that you could tutor him?” He explained.

I swear that my heart started beating faster the moment he said that. He and Fred were looking at me in anticipation.

“S-sure.” I managed to stutter out, “T-that’ll be great.”

Professor Lupin smiled, “Brilliant. Just coordinate with each other what times would be convenient for the both of you. Now, you’re both dismissed.”

Fred and I headed out of the classroom together, walking in comfortable silence.

“Thanks.” He suddenly said, “For willingly spending some extra time so you could tutor me.”

I looked up at him for the first time since leaving the classroom, “Of course. Anything to help.”

He smiled, handing me a piece of paper, “My number’s written there. Maybe we could start this Friday, after class?”

I nodded, “Sure.”

“I’ll see you then.” He said before leaving me to go over to his friends.

I suddenly felt an elbow rest on my left shoulder as I gazed at the direction where Fred had gone.

“So,” A voice spoke, “Spill the tea.”

I turned and saw Jennie, sporting a grin.

“What tea am I going to spill? Chamomile? Mint?” I teased.

She rolled her eyes, gently pushing me as I laughed, “No silly, I’m talking about the tea on you and Fred. Though mint doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Well, Professor Lupin asked if I could tutor Fred and of course I agreed.” When I looked at her, she was gaping at me with anticipation.

“Go on.” She urged, “Continue.”

I shrugged, “That’s it, the end.”

“No way!” She said, “Come on, I know there’s so much more to that story. Don’t keep me in suspense.”

“That’s really it.” I said.

She huffed, “There’s no fun in that.”

Friday came faster than I expected.

I walked into the cafeteria, where I was supposed to meet up with Jennie after I spent free period in the library.

I saw Jennie, talking to Fred, twirling her hair around her finger while she laughed.

On the other hand, Fred smiled at something Jennie had said.

The exchange went on for a while, Fred tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, to which she giggled.

I turned my back at the sight, shoving the hair out of my face as I started to make my way out of the canteen.

I just couldn’t believe it, after everything Jennie said, she was the one who had a thing for Fred all along.

I rushed to the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, gathering up my composure and making myself look as presentable as possible before heading back to the canteen.

I saw Jennie sitting by our spot, once she spotted me, I gave her a small smile and sat right across her.

“Hey.” She said, “Where did you go? I saw you already arrived then the next minute you were gone.”

“Oh, I just went to the bathroom for a sec.” I said.

She studied me for a minute, “Have you been crying?”

You really can’t hide anything from your best friend, Jennie knew me too well.

“Yeah.” I admitted quietly.

She reached forward and squeezed my hand gently, “Why?”

“Because, um, remember the book that I read last week that made me cry?” I lied.

Jennie laughed, “Let me guess, you read it again?”

I chuckled, avoiding her gaze, “Yeah. I did.”

“Why did you reread it? I told you not to read it again.” She asked through fits of laughter.

“I’m sorry.” I said giving a chuckle, “I couldn’t help it.”

Jennie shook her head teasingly, “What am I going to do with you?”

I sat down at the far end corner of the library, tapping my fingers against the desk while I quietly hummed along to the song I was listening to.

To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call, and say, "Meet me behind the mall”.

I felt a small tap on my shoulder, I immediately pulled out one of the earphones and turned to see Fred standing behind me.

“Hey Fred.” I greeted as he sat down in the seat next to me.

“Hey.” He said, “So, can we get started?”

I stowed away my earphones in my backpack, “Sure. So, what topics do you need help with?”

He shrugged, taking about his textbook, “Our most recent lesson, the one about reproduction.”

That’s when we started.

“Mitosis basically involves the division of body cells and it produces two diploid somatic cells that are genetically identical to each other. On the other hand, meiosis involves the division of sex cells and it produces four haploid gametes that are genetically unique to each other.” I explained.

The ginger nodded, “So, mitosis produces identical cells while meiosis produces different ones.”

I smiled, “Exactly.”

Three hours later, Fred was able to grasp the concept.

“Thank you so much Y/N.” Fred said as we walked out of the library.

“No problem.” I said, “If you have any more questions, you can ask me anytime.”

With that note, we went on our separate ways.

The following weeks happened on the same routine, every Friday Fred and I would be at the library after class, working on whatever concept Fred couldn’t understand.

Later that month, we had a surprise pop quiz in Biology.

I was standing by the courtyard, taking a photograph of the sun as part of my project for photography club when I suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and lift me up in the air, spinning me around.

“Woah.” I said with a small laugh as whoever it was had finally put me down. I turned and saw Fred behind me, a big grin gracing his features.

“Hey Fred.” I said, hopefully that he’ll mistake my red cheeks for the heat, “What’s up.”

He grinned even wider, before pulling a piece of paper out of his bag and handing it to me.

I looked down at it, realizing that it was the pop quiz we had in Biology. And next to his name was the letter A in red ink.

“I got an A on the test.” He said, “I have never gotten an A before!”

I smiled at him, “Congrats! After all the hard work you’ve been doing, you totally deserve it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have done it without you.” He said.

I chuckled, “I only helped you understand it, you were still the one who answered the test.”

“But I wouldn’t be able to answer it if you didn’t help me understand it.” He insisted, “And as a token of my appreciation, I got you this.” Fred then handed me a red box which contained chocolates inside.

“Thanks.” I said, looking up at him.

He chuckled, running a hand through his hair, “No, thank you.”

(Fred’s POV)

It’s been a month since I started having tutor sessions with Y/N. I know that she’s one of the smartest people in school, but I don’t know why I didn’t notice her before.

My siblings and I were hanging out by the courtyard, talking about the Biology lesson that had been discussed an hour ago.

“That lesson had been the easiest one ever.” George said.

“Yeah.” Ron agreed, “I have no interest in biology whatsoever, but I have to say this is the concept that I was able to grasp in one lecture.”

“How about you Freddie?” Ginny asked, “What did you think of the lesson?”

I nodded, half of my mind in a daze, “Yeah, it was easy.”

Then I saw Y/N passing by, unaware that I was cutting off a conversation my siblings were trying to get me engaged in, I called out her, “Hey Y/N!”

She turned her head towards me, “Yeah?”

“Can we meet up this Friday? I kinda got confused with the lesson today.” I requested.

She nodded, offering a small smile, “Sure. I’ll see you then.” She said before walking off to her best friend.

I couldn’t keep the smile of my face as I turned my attention back to my siblings, who were now gaping at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You just said no more than five minutes ago that you found the lesson easy and now you want to meet up with Y/N a.k.a. your tutor?!” He asked.

I felt my cheeks heat up as I looked down at my hands, not answering the question.

My sister nudged Ron, “Honestly Ron, are you that blind? It’s obvious that Freddie’s in love with Y/N.”

“Aaw.” My twin cooed, reaching forward to ruffle my hair, “Freddie’s in love.”

I swatted his hand away, “I’m not in love.”

Ginny snorted, “As if we’d believe you Freddie. With all the gifts you’re giving her? The chocolates? The flowers? You almost decided at giving her a necklace at one point. Don’t tell me that it’s ‘just a token of your appreciation’.”

“And the way you would never shut up about her? Please Fred, you could do some much better than that.” George chimed in.

I sighed, feeling the blush on my cheeks transition to a darker shade, “Okay fine. She’s this wonderful angel that I’m pretty sure dropped straight down for heaven. I’m such an idiot for not noticing her sooner. And, with prom coming up next week, I’ve actually been meaning to ask her.” I confessed.

(Reader’s POV)

Fred and I were sitting in the library, chatting with each other and not really getting any work done.

“Okay. Okay.” I said after recovering from a laughing fit after Fred told me a story of him and George during their younger years, “But, we have to start on whatever you don’t understand because that’s what we’re here for.”

Fred smiled, “Actually. I understood it just fine.”

I gave him a confused look, “Then why did you asked to meet up?”

He smiled, taking out a bouquet of roses and handing it to me, “Well, since prom is happening in a week. I was wondering if you would be my date?”

I stared at him, awestruck. The Fred Weasley, the most popular guy in school, wanted me to be his date for prom?

“As a friend?” I asked.

He licked his lips, fiddling with the end of his shirt, “Well, I was wondering if you could actually be my date. But if you want to go as friends then it’s fine.”

I grinned, standing up and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “I would absolutely love to.”

“Great.” He said, his cheeks being painted with a shade of crimson, “I’ll pick you up at eight?”

I giggled, “That sounds like a great idea.”

“My girl’s already grown up now.” My mum cooed, as my father put an arm around her while I walked down the stairs in my y/f/c prom gown.

“How do I look?” I asked nervously, biting my bottom lip.

“Sweetie, you look absolutely wonderful.” My father said, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

We suddenly heard the doorbell ring.

“Oh, he’s here!” My mum said as she opened the door, my father following suit.

From my spot at the staircase, I caught a glimpse of him. I swear, I could’ve fainted from how handsome he was.

“Is Y/N ready?” He asked, the grin evident in his voice.

My mum nodded, “Y/N, honey! Fred’s here!”

I came into view, Fred’s jaw visibly dropping as he saw me.

“Hey there beautiful.” He said, his eye dropping into a wink.

I smiled, looking down at my feet, “Thanks.”

He then offered his arm, and I took it as my mum said, “Have fun you two!”

Fred grinned, “We will!”

We both arrived at the venue an hour later.

We had a great time dancing the night away with no one else but each other.

Then came the moment wherein they would announce the prom king and queen.

“Now, I don’t want to keep you waiting anymore.” Professor Lupin said as one of the members of the student council handed him an envelope, “And the tonight’s prom king is none other than: Fred Weasley!”

A roar of applause echoed through the hall as I gently nudged Fred towards the stage as he was awarded with the sash and the crown.

From the rumors that I heard, Jennie was in the leading position for prom queen. So, I would exactly be surprised if she won.

“And now.” Professor Lupin continued as the roars and cheering died down, “For this year’s prom queen, it is none other than: Y/N L/N!”

What? I was prom queen? How did that happen?

Ginny nudged me gently, snapping me out of my thoughts, “Go on.” She urged, “They’re waiting for you.”

Fred was looking at me with a huge grin as I made my way to the stage, last year’s prom queen giving me the sash and the crown.

After the pictures has been taking, it was time for Fred and I to lead the first dance.

He lifted my hand and grazed his lips along the knuckles, “May I have this dance, my queen?”

I giggled, “Yes you may.”

As it grew deeper into the night, Fred and I were walking through the gardens under the starry sky.

“Thanks for being my date.” He said with a small smile.

“Of course, thank you for asking me.”

He ran a hand through his hair, “Well, can I confess something to you?”

I nodded, “Sure.”

Fred turned to face me and suddenly said, “I love you! No time to explain.”

Before I could even open my mouth to say ask what he meant, he suddenly crashed our lips together, my waist fitting perfectly into his hands as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Be my girlfriend?” He asked as we pulled apart.

I smiled, “I would want nothing more.”

Fred grinned as he started to attack my neck with open-mouthed kisses, “Think we should go somewhere private?”

“Absolutely.”

It was a week since prom, and it just proves that news and rumors travels fast around school.

“So Fred,” Jennie asked, twirling her hair around her finger, “I heard you have a girlfriend, who is the lucky girl?”

Fred caught my eye from across the way, beckoning me towards him.

“C’mere baby girl, don’t be shy.”

I smiled, walking towards him as he placed an arm around my waist and pressed a kiss on my cheek, causing my best friend’s jaw to drop.

Fred grinned, “I actually like to think that I am the lucky guy to be dating not only the smartest, but also, the prettiest girl in the school.”

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝:

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chibinekochan · 4 years

Text

Obey me! The brothers when you are insecure

I have several requests that basically come down to being insecure beancakes.

So here you all go.

I relate a lot to this.

Love yourself first, everything else will come with time.

The common scenario is some mean butt said something about your looks and now you feel bad about yourself.

------------------------

Leviathan

Excuse me? What?

He is so confused.

How can you feel bad about your looks?

You are perfect, I mean just look at you.

Levi can't comprehend.

Like you are a clear 10/10, no screw that 100/10.

He would date you, but you know he is just a stupid nerd and nobody likes him.

Levi is a very insecure bean himself, give him a hug.

He will go on a long rant about all your points, that he loves a lot.

It's honestly impressive how long he can talk without taking a breath.

You feel very embarrassed about half of his points.

The only way to shut him up is to kiss him.

Satan

Excuse him, he has to go and punch someone.

Well, that can wait.

Right now you are sad and that is more important.

He listens to all your insecurities, even when it's hard.

Satan wants to jump up and yell at you to stop this nonsense, but that wouldn't be helpful.

Instead he just makes tea and listens and then he gives you his own counter list of things that he loves about you.

Funny enough, a lot of your insecurities also find their way onto Satan's list, like the way you laugh, for example.

He makes you feel much better.

Satan isn't done, next he invites you to stay with him the rest of the evening and watch your favorite comfort movie, while cuddling.

Belphegor

This is what happens when he isn't around.

He was sleeping.

Belphie can't believe this, how dare they.

Belphie is very worked up about it.

You feel very down.

That stops Belphie from planning any pranks, for now at least.

He just hugs you and sits down with you.

Belphie knows that what they told you is all just a bunch of bs.

You are perfect just the way you are.

Who else would be able to make a pact with him and his brothers?

Who else could make him like humans again?

Who else would be able to become a member of his family?

Yeah nobody but you.

Belphie loves you so much and it makes him mad that someone makes fun of you.

Especially since the part that the demon made fun of is his favorite.

Bad taste stupid demon!

After ranting a bit more, Belphie spends the rest of the day cuddling you and telling you how beautiful you are, until you can't hear it anymore.

Asmodeus

Unbelievable!

Not on his watch!

How dare they?

Like come on, you are so cute!

Don't they have eyes?

Haters gonna hate!

They must be jealous of you.

Asmo is more offended than you are, they might as well said that he is ugly.

It's time for a spa day!

There is nothing better to feel beautiful than taking care of yourself, with some great company.

You are a bit reluctant but soon get swayed by Asmo.

Asmo knows how to make you feel better and forget all about the earlier encounter.

Soon enough you both have a ton of fun.

You even have a sleepover and honestly feel better than ever.

Mammon

What did they say?

How dare they talk badly about HIS human?

Well first Mammon has to make you feel better.

He can't stand to see you sad.

Mammon is here to make you better!

He does whatever you like, your favorite movie? Well, look at that he somehow has it.

Your favorite snack? Not meaning to buy it for you but he has a whole bunch of it just a coincidence.

If there is literally anything that will make you feel better, Mammon just happens to have it laying around.

If that isn't enough to cheer you up, well he is a tiny bit lost but darn it he tries everything he can think of.

Like ummm karaoke? Do you like a song sung by the Mammon?

Maybe he can cook something for you?

Oh, how about going to your favorite place?

In the end you smile no matter what and if it's only at Mammons heartfelt tries.

Mammon is happy regardless.

Give him some hugs and kisses he deserves them.

Lucifer

Well someone will get some real punishment.

That can wait until later.

Right now you need some support.

Lucifer can't just leave you like this.

First he tells you that the demon is wrong.

In every single way.

I mean look at you, you are amazing.

It's not just that your heart is beautiful, you are beautiful overall.

Hearing this from Lucifer surprises you.

Lucifer then continues to list every detail about you that he loves.

You rather just want some attention, which Lucifer gladly provides to you.

Ask for anything you want, snuggles, hugs, kisses and so on.

Lucifer will tell you that you are very needy with a smile and then do it anyway.

Beelzebub

The demon said what?

That's completely wrong!

Can't they see? Unbelievable!

What does a random demon know?

You are perfect!

Beel can only shake his head.

You shouldn't listen to some silly things like that.

Beel keeps talking about how pretty you are.

He is very sincere about it.

It's hard not to believe him.

All of this talking makes Beel very hungry.

Time for comfort food!

Beel will feed you all of your favorites while you sit on his lap.

Check my Obey me! Masterlist for more content

#obey me #omswd #obey me headcanons #obey me headcanon #obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me demon brothers

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evarcana · 3 years

Note

Courtiers + Christmas

Sorry, dear anon, it took me ages 😓 well at least I did it before xmas, right?

To avoid the whole discourse about why the bunch of demons and one morally corrupted human are celebrating Christmas, I should say that this is based on the MC inviting the courtiers to celebrate together.

Valdemar🎄😈

Not like they usually pay attention to silly human holidays. But if it is you inviting... “how delightful” - of course Valdemar is coming. The problem is that in their millennia of existence being busy with their research they sort of missed out on what Christmas was about. “MC, don’t give me that look, this is all fairly new”, you don’t even want to what is old for them. But it’s Valdemar so they lock themselves in dungeons and put all their inhuman determination into researching Christmas.

Valdemar’s research is ...advanced. After they excitingly start telling you whether you knew that red in decorations symbolises blood, you decide it’s time to intervene, hand Valdemar list of gifts to buy and encourage them to return to their usual work (who would believe you would ever say it).

They turn to the party/dinner dressed as Santa (or whatever equivalent). Are you shocked? Erm yes... But why are other guests loving it ?! Well they did become sort of xmas expert in less than a week so you guess it’s okay. Expects lots of stories on how Christmas celebrations developed over the last centuries.

Charms your grandma or elderly auntie by being the only person capable of listening about their chronical conditions and actually engaging on the topic. Your little niece/neighbour’s kid loves them too - they expertly removed all those bits of turkey leg they don’t like to eat in less than 5 seconds. Everybody loves them. But Valdemar still spends most of the time telling what a fascinating specimen you are.

When it comes to gift exchange part, you are glad that they only added a few medical books, plague masks and antiseptics to the list, could be worse.., but where is yours present? “You, my little silly duckling, are on the naughty list this year” with this Valdemar gently throws you in their sack grabs you and excuses you both from the party. You try to protest but they only say that they played along for long enough and now it’s their turn to play little game with you. Oh well you can leave early one year, it promises to be worth it.

Valerius 🎁🍷

Every year Valerius receives plenty of invitations to winter holidays parties arranged by the nobles but this is the first time he got invitation to something that personal. Tells you that he needs to check his diary and finally reluctantly agrees only because “there was a rather unfortunate cancellation”. But really in his head he is like “Omg does it mean that I am part of the family now? Cancel all plans NOW.”

Then he learns that you plan to have Christmas dinner/party at your place. The consul of Vesuvia to go to that ...shack?? That’s unthinkable: The party will be in his estate, yes he knows that it’s incredibly generous of him to offer and no you cannot refuse.

And this is when things are getting extra. You know that crazy neighbours competitions whose Christmas lights are brighter and decorations are better? That’s Valerius, although he has nobody to compete with really. The massive xmas tree got delivered from who-knows-where and who-knows-how in 2 days, and there is no red, golden or green decoration item left in stock in entire Vesuvia, oh and some the palace’s best cooks suddenly took a sick leave for a week (no it was Valerius promising them triple wages).

You ask Valerius not to get any expensive presents, otherwise you will feel bad, he did indeed agree that it was reasonable suugestion. Everybody gets presents more expensive than life. The guests surpringly find Valerius a very good host, this might have something to do with those gifts which were definitely extra or with the fact that everybody got merry in like 20 min thanks to all the fancy wine. Valerius is gossip central, argues about politics with your annoying uncle and plays board games with children.

Insists that it would be better if you stay overnight and not travel home late. Falls asleep in chair with drink in hand like an old man. Later that chair somehow migrates to the hallway by the guest bedroom, under the strategically placed mistletoe. Wait, where did red silky robes come from? All planned. Let’s hope that the unfortunate relative of yours is not staying in the same guestwing.

Vlastomil 🎅🏻 🪱

It’s lovely of you to invite him but he is a busy worm man and cannot really leave his children alone. Maybe he can just stop by? “No, MC! Don’t get offended!!”

Then he learns that Christmas is usually about family, does it mean that his children can come as well?? Ugh while you are mumbling something about that worms may not be very comfortable at your place, Vlastomil decides that the Christmas party will be held in his garden so the worms everybody can enjoy it.

Prepare to have a ...thematic Christmas. There is white xmas tree decorated with the shimmery worms and candy canes which have worms wrapped around them. Okay, even you are not the biggest fan of worms you have to admit that the ice sculptures of worms are quite impressive. He even has little nativity scene but with the worms.

Everybody receives crystal tree decoration baubles with live worms inside. Everybody is shocked. Vlastomil explains that it’s only stocking fillers and there are more gifts. (Also crystal baublesare only for transportation, the worms need to be free range, how dare you). The actual gifts are... amazing. Somebody got a scarf that they liked but didn’t have enough money to buy on that day, another person got a album of pin up pictures of snake women even if it was supposed to be a secret interest of theirs and you got that sparkly princess teara you cried for your parents to buy at age 5 but they never did (cmon, x years later, you still like it).

Some little child says that Vlastomil is like Santa with how you he magically read people’s wishes (there there, little one, it’s just the power of gossip), but Vlastomil is vibing: wiggler gets elf outfit from somewhere and you get lots of invitations to “come to sit on Santa’s lap”. Yes you can stay there after all the guests leave (and yes you can keep your sparkly teara on).

Volta 🍪🥛

Was secretly dreaming to be invited since at least October. But is still genuinely surprised when you ask her to come. She asks tonnes of questions: who else is coming, are you sure they would like Volta, what are you going to do, will there be food?

Volta wants to help you with all the preparations. Not like she is super useful but she did dig out from the piles of stuff in her estate and bring you lots of old tree decorations and some nice tableware. She basically spends all your time with you in the build up to Christmas: you decorate the house together, make gingerbread houses (well more like you made one house from the 1000s attempt, they all got eaten before they were actually completed) and pack gifts for everybody.

You warned all the guests that there going to be lots of food this year, and no you finally don’t need to worry about what to do with the leftovers and crying “end me, I am sick of having xmas food for 10 days in a row” because they are not going to be any leftovers. But you didn’t expect Volta to turn up with even more food. “Volta does not want anybody to starve on Christmas!”. She surely eats lots but she is also looking after other people lots, passing them plates with food (just imagine her holding it with both of her tiny hands) and topping up their drinks, she wants everybody to enjoy the dinner.

Everybody at the table is talking of how adorable Volta is, and nobody can even hide tears when Volta presents little hand made gifts that she prepared herself. But Volta humming Christmas carols? How does she even know Christmas carols? This is illegal level of cuteness.

Volta wants to stay to help you to clean up when the dinner is over. It’s quite and it’s only two of you. Oh you might still have some sweet things in the cupboard.

Vulgora🔥🌟

At first super excited to be invited but the next second they ask what is Christmas about and what does it involve. You decorate, eat, chat to people and exchange gifts? That sounds awfully boring to Vulgora. Can they at least smash the tree in the end? What do you mean - NO?!?!

Eager to help too. They need to use their energy somewhere. You are not sure whether it’s the type of help you wanted. You asked them to carry the xmas tree from the market? There are 5 trees in front of the house, one of which is like is almost 10’ tall. You asked them to chop some wood for the fire? Well, there is enough to have a bonfire in the towncentre. But on the positive side, your house is lavishly decorated this year, Vulgora likes the red and golden theme.

Lots of battle stories at the dinner, some of which ...lack xmas spirit a bit. All the gifts are...war themed. Then Vulgora gets bored and wants to fight for the right to cut the turkey/ vegan nut roast, whatever you are having. Oh no. But they can smash nuts with their gauntlets - the guests are impressed and suddenly want more battle stories. On the positive side, it’s definitely not boring this year, Vulgora is load and energetic.

But then suddenly Vulgora suggests you all go outside, when you question them, they say it’s a surprise. It’s hard to believe what you see: they prepared fireworks and sparkle fountains !!! You cannot help but smile watching vulgora excitingly running around setting them all off (but hopefully not setting your house on fire).

You watch firework lighting up the sky with Vulgora hugging you from behind and then..they rugby tackle you to the ground?! Well whether there is snow or not, they want to have a fight. Luckily the fireworks are over and the guests can just...leave you two to it.

#not sure whether it was cuter in my head #the arcana courtiers #the arcana courtiers headcanons #the arcana headcanons #valdemar the arcana #Valdemar #consul valerius #Valerius #vlastomil the arcana #praetor vlastomil #volta the arcana #procurator volta #pontifex vulgora #vulgora the arcana #questor valdemar

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totallytododeku · 4 years

Text

☁ studying together ( x reader hc's) ☁

characters: midoriya, bakugou, todoroki, kirishima, yaoyorozu, uraraka, + ashido

genre: fluff <33

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

I. Midoriya 🌳🍀🌻

this poor boy is so excited to be spending time with you

but he will not take his nose out of his textbook

he can't help it

he's so happy to be in the hero course he takes his schoolwork a little too seriously

however, you can use this to your advantage ;)

normally you're almost as invested in his journey to becoming the next Symbol of Peace and achieving his dream as he is

and you would never dream of doing anything that could jeopardize it

So you were silently bouncing off the walls with glee when you realized he was impervious to distractions when it came to studying

literally anything is fair game

which is why studying with him is your new favorite time of day

pet his hair

kiss his cheeks

climb into his lap

pat his head

hold his non-dominant hand

hug him from behind his chair

rest your head on his shoulder and take a nap

do whatever you want

you can basically do anything to him while he's studying without having to worry about distracting him

he will blush a little bit of you kiss him but but you think it's adorable

lol turn on whatever tv or music you want

but only if you're done with your work!!

hes very adamant that you keep up with your work as best you can do you can graduate side by side and be pro heroes together someday

K. Bakugou 💣💥 📢

he would totally be the one to invite you to study and he would probably want to study in his dorm

it's super quiet and nobody will bother you guys because they know it's that spiky gremlin's room

overall his room just has a really relaxing atmosphere

you love being near him as much as possible

and he's much more affectionate in the comfort of his dorm room

but that doesn't mean he's gonna go easy on u ;-;

he still has his gruff attitude and will make sure you're studying every day

or else he will call u baka and force you to sit down and study until you know all your material

he's actually a great tutor tho

he writes out all the work for each problem and explains them thoroughly

all while holding in you in his arms while you sit in his lap

sometimes you can convince him to play a game with you where every time you get an answer right he gives you a kiss

but you whine when you get one wrong and he won't kiss you

he huffs before giving you a kiss while still trying to look annoyed

stupid girl he mutters

but he pulls you a bit closer to him to hide his blush and moves on to the next problem despite your giggles

S. Todoroki ❄🔥🍜

he doesn't really need to study but he doesn't know how to just .. relax

like he doesn't know how to not do what his dad tells him to do

and his dad wants him to study

it's just easier for Todoroki to do what his dad wants than to rebel

that is, it was

Until he met you and the dekusquad

obviously everyone cares about their homework and wants to graduate well and go Plus Ultra!

but study sessions with Todoroki usually end up just being you guys trying to help him be less hard on himself while you have him as a captive audience

he doesn't really mind, though, especially when it's just you two

the intimacy of studying together in comfortable silence and just

enjoying each other's company

makes his heart go (*￣∇￣*)

like i said he doesn't really need to study so he'll just end up helping you review material

please just ... hold his hand :)

after you're done studying for the day just pull him into a hug and over to your bed

he needs a nap

you feel warm fuzzies inside from how caring he's been to sit with you while you finished your homework and bring you warm tea

you don't even think you just

Time for cuddles :3

it becomes your daily ritual to study together and then cuddle

he always falls asleep in your arms with a small smile

E. Kirishima 🗿🗿🗿

(HAHAHSHNSJ THE 🗿 EMOJI OMG I'M LITERALLY SO FUNNY LOL I'M CRYING)

"Okay, Y/N, let's study hard and do our homework like men!" *fist-pumping the air and grinning like an idiot*

"...what's so funny? "

he doesn't care if you're not a man it's his trademark

he likes to study at his desk because he says it's "important to stay focused and work diligently"

generally he is the least focused person, ever. besides kaminari.

however, he's so energetic and enthusiastic that once you sit down and start studying he'll be able to keep your motivation up until you've finished all your homework

GREAT at studying for tests and quizzes (in theory)

he will never give up

like I said he could keep studying for hours once he sets his mind to it

So you have to compromise and get him to study in short bursts throughout the day to help him have a better chance of remembering anything ;-;

his memory is not great but it's kinda cute

you, being the smart cookie that u are, realized the best way to help him memorize things was to study with flashcards frequently throughout the weekend while doing other activities

so you plan to hang out together and do something fun every week while having your study material on index cards in your back pockets

it's a literal study date.

a weekly date out to the mall or the park or a little coffee shop but with math trivia thrown in randomly throughout the afternoon!! :D

Of course he was ready to turn it into a game he's a literal puppy

he just wants to show you you can be proud of him

you giggle lightly when you hear him say that and let him know that you'll always be proud of him, no matter what

M. Yaoyorozu 👑🏆☕

studyblr wants what u have.

studying in momo's room makes you feel like a Victorian young lady studying moral philosophy, writing poetry about the mourning doves outside the garden window, and waiting for her husband to come home from sailing the seven seas

it's your Belle moment where she's in the royal library except it's every day

stacks of beautiful, old books

the smell of the crisp, white pages

soft classical music floating through the air

the window cracked open slightly

and you are the luckiest student in all of UA because you get to study with the smartest girl in the whole school

she's also gorgeous and sweet and perfect which def doesn't hurt

u know that joke that ur teacher can spend a year explaining something and u never understand but then a random indian guy on YouTube explains it in 2 minutes and you finally get it

she is that random indian guy

you will never struggle with a single concept after you start studying with her

And she's so proud of you for every little question you answer correctly

(even thought she's the one that explained it all so well in the first place)

it's the definition of comfortable silence

she insists that neither of you study too hard and that you take lots of breaks to stretch

she says its to help you stay concentrated but really she just wants to feel your gentle hands on her shoulders as you massage out the knots

you take turns kneading the tension out of each other's shoulders

you feel a pleasant tingle down your spine at the feeling of her soft breath on the back of your neck

She pulls away and you share awkward smiles, neither of you realizing the other one of blushing, too

(((*≧艸≦)ﾌﾟﾌﾟｯ

O. Uraraka 🌜🚀🙏

ur actually super productive study buddies

Like u started studying together and then all of a sudden you were almost at the top of your class

she's just so sweet that being with her gives you the energy you need to write that essay all in one sitting instead of procrastinating like a normal person

Shows up at your dorm with snacks and drinks to keep your energy up!! :D

even though she's still going to end up getting sleepy anyway later in the afternoon

You get most of your studying done at the beginning of your study date so it's not really a problem

you know she doesn't have a lot of money to be throwing around so you pay for dinner every night

It's usually takeout but sometimes you guys make your own dinner for fun!

it always turns out almost inedible and burned because neither of you were paying attention to the stove

don't let baku see it or he'll start screaming about how you need to try your best at everything so he can beat you fair and square and that includes cooking too

neither you nor uraraka can handle spicey food so you never eat what Bakugou cooks for the class

You grab a few bags of chips and some sushi and shut yourselves in your dorm to pull an all-nighter study session about once a month

it should make you tired but, again, studying with her is so enjoyable that you don't mind

u two enjoy each others company in studying so much that you sometimes read ahead in your textbooks just to be able to study more

overall, hanging out with her is just lighthearted and filled with giggles

and you just so happen to get all your homework done along the way

M. Ashido 👾👽🚿

"studying" with her is so much fun

Hanging out with Mina in general is so much fun

it's impossible not to smile when she's around so even if you have a huge exam tomorrow, all your worries fade away just from being with her

She is pretty distracting in cases where you actually wanted to get stuff done

But you don't care

Change of plans

you're doing mani pedi's with Mina

No more studying

it's not as bad as it sounds though

You're not slacking off or anything and you can still keep your grades up with help from your other friends like Momo and Iida

you guys are just goofing off in the privacy of your dorm room when you should be studying

"It's not a crime to be young, Y/ N ;)"

she's just so energetic and happy like a little pink ball of sunshine

you can't help but laugh at her silliness and cute antics after a long day of classes

she makes your heart beat faster like you're on a roller coaster but without the nerves

somehow you feel giddy and comfortable in her presence at the same time

it doesn't matter what you two are doing, you always have fun

make sure she goes to bed on time, though, or she might end up baking a seven-tier cake at 3 am and Bakugou will scream at you for waking him up

don't feed her after midnight lmao

i started writing this after i almost died of boredom in my online calc class. my senioritis is already kicking in and it's still September (｡-ω-)

#boku no hero academia x reader #bnha x reader fluff #bnha headcannons #bakugou katsuki x reader fluff #midoriya izuku x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #shoto todoroki #Uraraka ochako #uraraka ochako x reader #Mina ashido x reader #yaoyorozu momo x reader #yaomomo #Kirishima eijirou x reader #eijirou kirishima #mha x reader #my hero academia x reader fluff headcannons #study date #hc

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breitzbachbea · 3 years

Note

📒💖

Emi, I'm kissing you on the mouth right now, you're so sexy. In general but also for taking the bait.

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

The Constantinople AU

This AU is from 2017 and came about because I watched a TED-ED video about Constantinople's walls, relistened to the Aladdin soundtrack and because I had earlier talked with a friend about how I had not really seen people make a genie a woman. I came back years later to explain it to my friend Jonah and add new stuff and this year I showed it to @amber-isnt-a-precious-stone to add even more things. It's one of my favourite AUs for sure.

Dramatis Personae:

- Herakles Karpuzi (APH Greece) as Son of the Roman emperor and heir to the throne - Sadık Adnan (APH Turkey) as Soldier in the Ottoman army and Imposter Prince - Dilan Taş (Human OC) as Jinn and Sadık's unsuccessful wingwoman - Athanasios Karpuzi (Human OC) as the Roman emperor and serial skirtchaser - Salvatore Vento (Human OC) as Advisor to the emperor and Fuckface McBadDad - Michele Vento (APH Sicily) as Herakles' childhood friend

The Happenings™:

- It's set in Constantinople in an alternate Universe, close to ours. It’s the late High Middle Age/Early Late Middle Age (depending on how you want to periodize. I am working with how the German Middle Ages are divided, which is arguably a very bad method for classifying Byzantine. But this is my silly Hetalia AU, not my term paper). Around 1300, I’d say.

- Athansios Karpuzi is the current Roman Emperor, which makes Herakles the heir to the throne. Athanasios is desperately trying to wed his son off to any available suitors to form new alliances, but two things keep getting into the way: 1. Herakles is thoroughly uninterested in playing along with Athanasios’ plans. He’s not a chess piece on his father’s board if he's got anything to say about it. 2. Salvatore Vento is Athanasios’ closest consultant and protests any marriage for whatever reason he can find. For the sole reason that he has been eyeing the throne for himself the entire time and wants to marry his own son, Michele, to Herakles.

- Like in my Hetalia AU "Like Father Like Son", Salvatore and Athanasios trust each other as far as they can throw one another. There is no genuine trust here at all, no sympathy, really, they just stick together because they know the other is useful. Have some assorted banter as result of this:

Salvatore: "Immortal what a name! What a title to bear! Although immoral would have fit you much better." [Athanasios’ etymology is “immortal”]

S: "Maybe you wouldn't have to struggle to find a suitable bride for your son if you stopped dragging every young woman within and from outside Constantinople to bed." Athanasios: "He's into guys too, problem solved." S: "Oh, yeah, me dumbass thought you needed stop whoring around, how silly of me."

A: "If he is into anything at all. But if I have another child, they might keep this empire going." S: "No legitimation to the lineage's claim to power like a gay loner and a bastard child." A: "Ah yes, I hired the man whose wife ran away with his son so he could berate me about family life. How I value your opinion, Salvatore." S: "She didn't run away." A: "No, she just hides and sends you people until she can get her divorce. I'm very inclined to give it to her."

S: "They're childhood friends! They'd make a great couple!" A: "All I can hear is what a great emperor you'd make, ruling on my corpse."

- So. Herakles is staunchly resisting any marriage to anyone and minding his business one day, walking along the great walls of Constantinople. He stops to look out into the surrounding area and suddenly, hears a noise. Confused, he looks down and sees someone scaling the wall. Sadık looks up and sees the most beautiful man he has ever seen … spotting him trying to get into the city.

- Sadık is part of the Ottoman Turks, who’re conquering the area around Constantinople these days. He’s some nobody in the army and thought he’d give it a shot and get into the city by himself to earn some fame (and money).

- Herakles is seriously impressed Sadık managed to actually almost scale the famously impenetrable walls of the city. Not impressed enough to actually let him in. So these two banter a bit, Sadık now distracted by this hunk in front of his nose. Herakles correctly assesses that he’s a Turk and says of himself that he’s the emperor’s son. Sadık: “Hey, hot stuff, if that’s true and it’s so impressive, why don’t you let me in as a reward?” Herakles: “Yes, of course. And then I’ll open the gates for the rest of your people, so that you can just walk in and take the city. What impossible thing do you want to happen next, a kiss on the mouth?” Sadık: “What’s so impossible about that?”

- Either way, Herakles threatens to sick the guards on him, which leads to a “Oh no you wouldn’t” - Herakles grins and definitely would, so Sadık has to retreat. (#Don’tSickTheGuardsOnMyAssYou’reSoSexyAhaha).

- He goes back to camp, having gained nothing but a crush. He gets in real trouble for rummaging around the booty, where he finds an oil lamp and WOULDN’T YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. Dilan, a Jinn, pops out and Sadık uses his first wish to get out of trouble. Once that is done and the two have a moment of peace, he's thinking about what to do next and his mind circles back to Herakles.

- Dilan: "Ah yes, they always want something with love ... so who struck you and what's the problem?" Sadık: "Well ... I don't really know if it's true but he said he was the son of the emperor. He certainly looked the part! And I didn't really want to wait for him to call the guards to confirm it." Dilan: "Wait ... so you want to get with the son of the Roman emperor?" Sadık: "If that handsome little shit didn't lie to me, then yes." Dilan: "Isn't that a little out of your ballpark?" Sadık: "What, is it out of yours? Can't help me in that case, magic lady?" Dilan: "Psht, don't make me laugh! I can make the impossible happen, just tell me what you need." Sadık: "I dunno ... I guess getting inside the city?" Dilan: "That's it? That's all you need? That's less than a no-brainer -" Sadık: "Oh yeah, if it's so easy then, save that second wish for later. I got past one of the walls already once, I'll figure that out without your magic." Dilan: "Alright, alright ... and what about the wooing of your sweetheart?" Sadık: "That we'll see to once we're there ..."

- Dilan and Sadık chitchat while they make it to Constantinople. Dilan spends some time in the lamp, because walking is boring, but she does tell him that she's pretty sick of being in there. So that's where Sadık learns about her wishing to be free. Dilan in turn learns that Sadık doesn't have such a rosy life either (especially because now he can't return to the army, after he basically deserted).

- So they get to Constantinople and decide to actually factcheck if they got the right guy - and if yes, some general information about the emperor's son. Luckily enough, a friendly trader/tradesman tells them a bit about the city and the imperial family. Dilan: "So, did you by any chance ever see the emperor's son?" Trader: "Oh, well, that's an odd question, isn't it? But since you don't seem to be from here, I can understand the curiosity. Well, let me think ... You often see him only from afar ... during a triumph where he had accompanied his father during the campaign I got to see him up close. What a regal figure there at the head of the troops!" Sadık is too lost in the vision of his crush all decked out in military gear on a horse. And then taking all that gear off and being a regal figure while he fucks Sadık into the sheets … Dilan: "Yeah, yeah, yadda yadda, we need something more concrete. Height, hairstyle, haircolour, what does the dude look like?" The trader/tradesman is a little baffled but does provide a description that lines up with who Sadık saw. So with that information, they start to wonder how to woo a future emperor.

- Luckily, now that the trader/tradesman thinks they're here for imperial gossip, he actually mentions the fact that Emperor Athanasios hopes for his son to follow his footsteps and is currently looking for a suitable match, so that Herakles can be of political use even while he's still in charge. So Dilan and Sadık get an idea how to get into the city and Herakles heart. Or his pants. Milestones are still up for negotiation.

- After the grand entrance happened, where Herakles definitely took offense at either "Heard your prince was a sight lovely to see" or "Heard your prince was hot, where is he?" because either question was accompanied by Sadık's flirty looks, Athanasios actually lets Sadık and Dilan into the palace. There he and Salvatore discuss the entire thing, aka if whoever Sadık pretends to be is a good match.

- While they talk political stuff and snark, because of course Salvatore is against it, Sadık continues to feel very smug in his new princely identity and makes flirty eyes at Herakles. Herakles is just like "ugh" and much more happily plays with his cats. Which tbh sounds like they're 16 or something, but they're not that much younger than in canon (I think they'd be 22 and 24 here).

- Hijinks ensue. Herakles tells his dad that he’s a Turkish soldier that tried to sneak into the city and Athanasios doesn’t believe him, thinking Herakles is now lying badly to not get married. Dilan and Sadık are developing a friendship that is best described as hoes being bros.

- Dilan: "Look, you like cats. Cats are furry. Hairy, if you will. You know who else is hairy? Sadık. He's juuust as hairy as a cat - shhhht, I'm wingmanning for you and it's working great, you can thank me later."

- At first, Dilan mostly employs her magic for some silly little things with Sadık to woo Herakles. It doesn't work very well. Herakles: "I know it's magic, that's not impressing me - Okay, it is kinda cool, but you're still a dick." Dilan: "But a dick with a cool sidekick, come ON! What else do you want me to do to make the nerd viable?!" Sadık: "You call that wingmanning?!"

- Once Dilan realizes dickbags Athanasios and Salvatore are, she also uses little magic tricks to continously make their lives worse. Ironically, this may be what finally endears her and Sadık to Herakles. (If you haven't noticed, he doesn't like his father very much and Athanasios doesn't care for him aside from being a political pawn).

- At one point, Michele shows up at court! Herakles is overjoyed to see his childhood friend, which he hadn’t seen in years! Sadık is absolutely not, because it looks like just when he and Herakles almost had something, this twat shows up and steals the show!

- Dilan: "Well, I can't make him not love this dude, but I could beat the dude up." Sadık: " ... keep that in mind."

- However, when Dilan goes to investigate what Michele is doing here (and wingwomanning again), this ensues: Dilan: "Hey brah, what's up, why so blue looking? Is it because your boo just told you you ain't his number one anymore?" Michele: "I, eh ... no ... May I ask who you are?" Dilan: "Just one of the servants of the insanely charming and powerful - and hairy - Prince who's here to marry the Prince. Yep, he's sooo gonna marry that guy." Dilan: "There was a whole musical number about it, you should have seen it, I was on top of my game." Michele: "Sure heard about it, you stirred up trouble here. Hope it helps ... I'm not saying that Herakles should marry someone his dad set in front of him, but it'd be nice if he found someone at last. He told me he was very lonely the last years ... I don't want to leave him behind just as lonely again." Dilan: "Yeah, it'd be - Leave him behind?"

- Dilan: "Good news! His loverboy is not here to stay! He wants to go to the west, he's just here because of his terrible dad!" Sadık: "Oh, that's good! Wait ... isn't his father that asshole of an advisor?" Dilan: "Yeah. Why." Sadık: "The guy who wanted to marry his son to Herakles since apparently forever?" Dilan: "Yeah, but his son is not going to marry him." Sadık: "I smell a trap 10 miles against the wind."

- There is no trap however. Herakles realizes that the crush on Michele is nothing but a childhood crush and has to be left in the past … and that he wants to move forward with Sadık. When he wants a conversation one-on-one, Dilan wants to make it a one-on-two, but Herakles asks her if she doesn’t want to keep Michele company in the gardens, it’s not gonna take long, an hour or two at most. Then she can also fetch Michele when they’re done, so that Herakles can say goodbye before he leaves for Sicily.

- Dilan thinks about it, finds it’s not a trap (and if it was, nothing she and her fists couldn’t solve) and goes in the garden. There she talks with Michele and makes the mistake to either show off her magic powers, tell Michele of TurGre’s meetugly (#Don’tSickTheGuardsOnMyAssYou’reSoSexyAhaha) or to be like: “Hey, do you wanna know a cool secret? Sadık isn’t a Prince, all of this is my doing. Pretty cool, eh?”

- Unfortunately, they’re not alone. Salvatore was searching for Michele in the gardens, to get his “fucking rotten brat of a son” to play along after all instead of disappearing once again. So he overhears this. Salvatore: "Oh, so Prince Sadık is not a Prince? That's a funny joke indeed and I'll laugh my ass off the hardest in the end."

- So just when Herakles and Sadık had time to talk about their feelings and confess and, also, you know, make out and fumble for good measure, they get interrupted. Literally when Herakles was finally stripped down to his tunic and Sadık slid his hand underneath it.

- Athanasios: "This is gonna be the last wall you breached, you little rat." Herakles: "Dad! Stop it!" Athanasios: "This man nearly ruined our dynasty. Arrest him." Salvatore: "Arrest the man indeed. Go and get the ex-emperor." Athanasios: "Ex-Prince. It's not the right time for your snark." Salvatore: "I'm not talking about that small fish. Guards - arrest this careless idiot who nearly ruined our city by letting a scammer into its walls! Clearly the emperor's been in on this and can't be trusted!" Athanasios: "You've lost your mind." Salvatore: "You've lost yours and it's actually the thing you'll miss the least when syphilis is going to eat away the last of your rotten brain in the dungeons. So get him! And that ottoman faker, too, just get the trash out of here."

- The scene ends rather dramatically, because I love the thought of Michele and Dilan rushing to their help, but they get held back. Dilan maybe gets restrained by some anti-magic stuff. And Dilan begs Sadık to use his last wish to help him. To solve this problem. But Sadık refuses, because he promised to use it to set her free. So Dilan is just livid and upset, distraught, yelling at him to let her do something while he gets taken to the dungeons.

- So now Salvatore’s in charge and setting his plans into motion. PR is of course the first thing that needs to be done, so there’s a speech to Constantinople’s masses: "But, as you know, I respect and regard the royal family, the entire dynasty, more than any of you! So I am not going to assume power, it'd be a crime against God himself who granted us this emperor, if I had removed him for anything but his unstable condition and his tragic mistake of almost letting his lineage being tainted! Not to mention that this would have been the end of our beloved empire, our city, suddenly overrun and ruled by those barbarians! No, of course I'll give my power to the true heir who was merely a victim to his father's incompetence. To prove I really mean it, I'm even going to give up my son to the Prince, to forever bind my loyality to the throne!"

- Michele: "I hold no more respect for you as father as I did when we left. I'm not going to play along your perverted plan." Salvatore: "Well Michele, if you don't respect me as father, then maybe you'll respect me as the Roman Emperor!"

- Meanwhile, in the dungeons, Athanasios and Sadık have some great chitchat. Sadık: "Guess that's some quality father and son in law bonding time, eh?” S:“Though I'm pretty sure your son would rather call me daddy than you." A: "Once this entire drama is over, I'll have you decapitated. Or just kick you back to your people and let them handle this." S: "Ah, but when I came here as a fake prince, your arms and gates were wide open. Should've listened to your son when he told you so."

- Here’s also some Salvatore content: Athanasios: "And now you strut around in my clothes. I'm surprised they even fit you fatass!" Salvatore: "Oh, the entire imprisonment is really getting to you, ain't it, emperor tightlips? Ah, I meant - ex-emperor tight lips. Now you've sunk low enough to insult me with such details. Is it because you have nothing else left now that you're off your high horse?" Salvatore: "I thought so. At least you're enough of a sound mind to not threaten me with 'once I get out of here' hot air. Because we both know you're not getting out of here in a lifetime anymore. And yes, I’m wearing your rags, since I’ve got no time to waste.” Salvatore to Sadık: "Actually, it's sad that you aren't going to be there to watch it. Although, I think a public execution would just spice the entire wedding festivities up, if I think about it."

- Ah yes. The wedding. Herakles: "You look great today, my love. Like a polished jewel." Michele: "Thanks. I'd never seen a man more handsome than you though. Truly, a prince with all his qualities seen right away." Both: -sigh- Ft. Dilan, who’s just watching the kids sadly and is trying to reassure them she got this, she’s gonna find a way, it’ll be fine!!!

- Herakles and Michele wonder why Sadık didn't use that wish. To which Dilan replies he said he'd free her with it, but she didn't believe he'd actually uphold that promise. And he shouldn't have because now she's useless and he's in trouble. (And Hera only falls more in love with Sadık, because being a good person is HELLA swoony.)

- Dilan also tries to cheer them up and I believe she can still do small magic tricks, she just can't get out of whatever shackles/confinement she is in. So when she isn't despairing or raging, she tries to cheer Herakles and Michele up with some silly little tricks. She shapeshifts into their fathers to make fun of them. Which leads them to an idea ...

- I have no idea what it is though. I only know that the grand final and resolution involves shapeshifting. If anyone who's better at plots wants to give me ideas, please do.

- However they manage to stop Salvatore's machinations, this is what follows: Salvatore gets thrown into the dungeons. Herakles decides to not let his father out and instead take the crown himself. He becomes emperor and marries Sadık. Sadık uses his last wish to set Dilan free. Michele goes to travel to Sicily, promising he’ll write letters to them and come visit some day (Dilan promises the same).

- The end of Salvatore and Athanasios rotting in jail together is SO satisfying to me, bc now that they are useless to each other, there is nothing left to do but be a pain in each other’s ass. They hate each other and they DESERVE EACH OTHER.

Sequel Bait:

- Before we get to the sequel bait, let me give you some prequel bait for a change. Here's a little "what if one of the many suitable matches for Herakles had been one of the Beilschmidt brothers" scenario. Plus free medieval history lesson:

- Now for the actual sequel: Three years come and go. Herakles and Sadık settle in their new rules as emperor and ... emperor's husband. (I don't know if Byzantine empresses were "put into office" in the same way the Emperor was. If someone is more knowledgeable about this than me, correct me).

- Their marriage is going swell, however both struggle in their new official roles. Herakles faces all the administrative problems and tough decisionmaking that comes with being a ruler, while Sadık struggles to be accepted by the people of Constantinople. Where Herakles tends to take care of the court, Sadık tries his hand at being a military leader.

- One morning, Sadık wakes up with Herakles in the room. Which should not be surprising, if it wasn't for the fact that Herakles had left the city yesterday. He's oddly nonchalant about it when Sadık asks him and also ... weirdly chipper? Eager? Kitschy in his flirting? He's at first flattered, but soon very confused by everything and wonders if either he hit his head real hard in his sleep or if Herakles fell off his horse when he tried to make it out of the city.

- Turns out none of it, because after some more eyelash fluttering, his "husband" goes POOF! and turns out to be Dilan, who's on the floor laughing. "You should have seen your stupid face! Really! Wait, I'll show you!"

- After Dilan is done shapeshifting into Sadık, absolutely overacting his reaction and argueing with him about it, they finally get to catch up. Turns out that Dilan was bored by travelling around the world and wanted to check in on her old buddy.

- She couldn't have chosen a more opportune time to do so. Once Herakles returns, he ... at first has a weird reunion with his husband. Sadık is kind of wary around him and starts to list his attitude and general personality traits/ticks as proof for ... something. Takes a while for Herakles to get the news that Dilan is back, too.

- Herakles is very relieved to hear that! He wanted to confide something in Sadık, because after he had returned to the city, someone had taken him aside. Natasa Simonides, an old and trusted courtly advisor, needed help. Recently, her husband Ibrahim disappeared and she's worried.

- Natasa also told Herakles a secret: Ibrahim is a Jinn, which is why his disappearance worries her even more. Herakles informs Sadık and asks Dilan if she knows anything, but she sadly hasn't heard anything either. - Before she can zip off and see if she can find Ibrahim, Herakles asks another favour of her - to educate Natasa's twins, Timothea Farah and Omar Veniam instead. Natasa thinks they may be able to find their father, but they don't know they're half-Jinn, so they'd need some guidance. Dilan happily agrees to be their teacher!

- My only more in-depth infos on Jinn and their children with humans comes from this Monstrum video by PBS Storied. I don't think Thea & Omar would need to be taught by anyone to be seers and how to be in communication with non-human spheres, but it makes for a better story.

- So Dilan is off to teach the kids while Sadık volunteers to go and search for Ibrahim. Herakles resumes his imperial role in the city.

- It's not really fun and as the people become more and more agitated with the status quo, more and more people "remember" that the old emperor is still around. Enough people are going "What's that kid knowing anyways?! All those highfangled ideas and useless reforms, for what?" that a select few decide to stage a coup by releasing Athanasios from the dungeons.

- Now, I still haven't decided if Salvatore also gets let out. The problem is that I really would begrudge him his freedom ... but I also begrudge Athanasios his freedom! It doesn't feel fair that one bastard gets to walk free and the other doesn't!

- Out in the field, Sadık isn't having much more luck. No Jinn in sight and the trouble he has with a few of the men that accompany him keeps him thinking about the acceptance problems again. He really wishes at one point that Herakles wasn't emperor at all. You can imagine how terrible he feels for these thoughts when news of the coup catches up to them. Be careful what you wish for and all that jazz. On top of that, he gets into trouble as well - betrayed by some of the men he had taken along. He gets stuck in some place like a cave or an abandoned house he was investigating ...

- Sadık finds a large sealed bottle and thinks 'Well, what's the worst that could happen?' He is greeted by a GIANT cloud of smoke instead of anything edible/drinkable. By the time the cloud is human-shaped, he already has a giant grin on his face. Sadık: "Hah! I have a sixth sense for this kind of stuff!" Jinn: "Greetings, mor-" Sadık: "Yeah, yeah, quick question, is your name Ibrahim? Or do you know one of your kind called Ibrahim who's been passing through recently?" Jinn: "My name is Ibrahim - " Sadık: "Great! You know a Greek lady called Natasa? I take that look as a yes. Okay, so first wish is to get us out of here, second wish we'll see, third is like freeing you from the whole servitude bit - You do the three wishes thing, right? Anyways, your wife and kids are wishing for dad to come home, so get us out of here, you'll get explanations on the way back."

- In the meantime, Dilan and her protégés, along with Natasa and Herakles, have been trying to figure out how to solve the problem at court. It doesn't help that the news of Sadık's troubles also reached them (I know the speed of spreading information may be historically hella inaccurate, but I need it for the drama). So Dilan is torn between helping her best bud and helping the rest at court. The Greeks cook up a plan and assure her that she should go and help Sadık, they've got this.

- The plan is to get Athanasios to do something incredibly stupid that would immediately turn the people against him. They exploit the fact that Athanasios likes to listen to words that fall from pretty lady's mouths. So Timothea flatters her eyelashes and promises to tell him something of a vision she had ... that the divine has something to tell him through her. (Don't worry for her, she may have to endure his fingers under her chin, which is infuriating and nauseous enough, but no more skin contact than this). Thea gets backed by her brother to lend it more credibility once Athanasios considers with his head and not his dick.

- And we can all appreciate that Dilan has been sent away, otherwise the scene would have been like this: Thea: "The spirits are talking to me about you ... " Dilan: "Mhm, mhm, indeed, I can hear them to. They're saying that you're a bitch!"

- Dilan in the meantime reaches Sadık, Ibrahim and those of his troop that haven't betrayed and abandoned him as soon as they heard of the coup. A little happy reunion before she immediately fills them in on what's happening.

- They come up with a plan themselves to finally get rid of Athanasios and the Simonides and Herakles have begun to sweat a little back home, because Athanasios mistake of listening to the twins' advice has bought them time, but not really solved the problem yet. Which is when Dilan and Ibrahim sweep in, concocting an illusion powerful enough to wrap up everyone in Constantinople and make Athanasios seem like the literal devil. Some mass-hallucination miracle bullshit, truly, to assert that he doesn't deserve the throne.

- Maybe for good measure, Athanasios disappears after the illusion is over. Dilan and Ibrahim have no idea where he went, they say with a smile.

- Another grand finale! The four lovers are reunited, Thea and Omar are overjoyed to have their dad back and he is overjoyed to have his kids back. When Dilan tells the Simonides twins that they did a great job, she's a good teacher after all haha!, Ibrahim and Natasa invite her to stay. Dilan says that they don't need her, surely, now that Ibrahim can teach them, but Ibrahim says he could use some help. Herakles also encourages her, saying that he'd love to have her at court - and Sadık also bullies her into staying. "What do you wanna do, see the world again? Didn't do much for your peanut brain the first time around, maybe hit the books together with Hera so that you'll be a passable teacher some day."

- Dilan and Omar also have evolved a crush on one another during this entire mess. That's what I'll leave you with - all well that ends well.

Also hey you! Thanks for reading all of this! Here's a little bonus content if you made it this far!

A wonderful fanart of Michele and Salvatore by my beloved friend C0FFINATED over on twitter!

Here's an amazing commission of the Greeks and Turks by @captkirkland ! I'm not sure if I'm allowed to repost the pictures myself on tumblr & you shoud reblog it from him anyways. Show him and his amazing art some love! From left to right it's Timothea, Herakles, Omar, then Dilan, Sadık and Havva (who's not featured in this AU, rip. Things would have worked to well with their brainpower).

Thanks for reading this! Hope you have a wonderful day!

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yan-twst · 4 years

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♡ mod’s yandere prompt writing list ♡

♡ these are yan-twst’s mod’s personal yandere prompt list! i wrote them to use here on my blog, but anyone else can reblog them and use them if they want!

“ah, look... there’s blood all over me.”

“don’t you see? it’s your fault- you made me like this.”

“in the end... you’re only good for being with me. you’re useless at anything else, aren’t you?”

“i’m sorry for stealing your personal belongings... now that you’re here forever, i can return them!”

“nothing. without you- i’m... nothing.”

“you have no idea... the things i’ve done while thinking of you, darling...”

“i don’t care if you think i’m a monster; i’ve decided you’re mine.”

“it’s cute how you think you have a choice!”

“well, maybe if you’d accepted my confession, all these people wouldn’t have had to die...”

“if you think of leaving, i’ll make death seem like a blessing to you.”

“aah, forgive me for what i must do... i just can’t live on without you...!”

“feeling dizzy? well, it’s too late to realize: you already ingested what i slipped in your drink.”

“sure, i’ll let you run away. but if i catch you... then it’s fair game for me to do what i want.”

“the more you squirm, the more excited i’ll get, silly.”

“if you keep screaming, you could damage your vocal cords- go ahead, i don’t mind.”

“anyone who could rescue you is already dead. give up.”

“you don’t know how much i hate being this way- but i can’t change.”

“i tried my best to be a normal lover... but it simply won’t work. you understand, right?”

“want to escape? tell me, what other person would ever love someone like you?”

“the outside is so dangerous, don’t you see? if i wasn’t here to protect you, who knows what would happen to you...”

“i’m trying really hard to be nice to you here, but you’re making it real hard.”

“apologize? why would i? i haven’t done anything i didn’t have the right to.”

“you’re so sweet... i’m addicted to your presence.”

“i don’t care if it’s the drugs making you speak; say you love me, again.”

“don’t look at me like that... you know i do everything i do because i love you.”

“those bruises... did i do that...?”

“if you keep me happy, your life will be good, don’t you understand?”

“you just aren’t fit to be on the outside world. stay here with me- i’ll take care of you.”

“don’t you get it? i’m in charge here- you’re basically a glorified servant.”

“if i was you, i wouldn’t bother trying to escape. you’re too weak.”

“why are you so ungrateful? there’s nobody else other than me who could ever love such a miserable creature like you.”

“i ordered you to stay quiet. stop crying.”

“i didn’t mean to- no, god, i love you so much...! how could i have done this?”

“that’s right, just accept me... you’ll be so happy with me...”

“i’ve tried to be tolerant, but your disobedience has reached a limit i cannot ignore.”

“i wish i could love you the normal way.”

"your fear is so delicious to me"

"you look beautiful when you sleep... i'd know- i watched you, after all"

"it's ok if you don't love me, i'll still do whatever i want"

"don't you dare think of anyone other than me"

"i wish i didn't need to make you drink love potions for you to act caring, darling"

"from now on, you're my pet- go on, keep me entertained"

"this is your last warning. either you're obedient, or i'll make you obedient"

"all i ever asked was for you to love me back... are you so selfish you won't even give me that?"

"are you so desperate for human contact you'll come to me? good, that was the point"

"well, you can sleep here with me, or i could chain you up and make you sleep on the ground. it's your choice"

"say you love me, or else i might do something we both won't like"

"did you think you could escape me...? don't you know we're meant for each other? you're destined to return to me"

"i never claimed to be a good person. if you didn't want this to happen, you shouldn't have made me fall in love with you"

"i'll use you to my heart's content. don't you dare complain- it's what you deserve"

"if you're smart, you're going to stop struggling and kiss me back right now"

“apologize? why would i? you know very well you brought the punishment upon yourself.”

“stop crying- you made me mad. tears aren’t getting you out of this one.”

“i’ll count to three, and you better say you love me, or else i’ll do something neither of us will like.”

“if you behave, we’re all going to be happy here, so why do you keep acting out?”

“i’m starting to think you’re a bit of a masochist. i mean, why else would you keep angering me over and over again?”

“you bruise too easily- i haven’t even roughed you up yet...”

“cry, scream, i don’t care. you can’t do anything against me.”

“don’t you get it? i could kill you if i wanted to, but i won’t- because i love you.”

“i hurt your friends? no, you did that- by disobeying me and talking to them.”

“don’t make me lose my temper again. i love you and you’re making it too tempting to punish you.”“cry, cry some more, please... it looks good on you.”

“it’s ok if you hate me- i’ll still be able to do as i please with your pretty face.”

“aw, did you flinch? i was just reaching over for my phone- what did you think would happen?”

“tears suit you better than any makeup. i could watch you cry all day.”

“there’s some pleasure to be found in pain, they say. maybe you’ll learn to enjoy punishment at one time, too.”

“i like having power over you, don’t you get it? there’s no way to get out of this.”

“run, cry, scream; you’re still just dancing in the palm of my hand.”

“it’s ok to give up. in fact, i encourage it- just let the future i’ve chosen for you run its course.”

"you know i hate to hurt you... so please, don’t make me do it.”“i would never lie to you, darling, so i mean it when i say you shouldn’t be talking to others.”

“oh, nasty rumours about you are being spread...? my, i wonder who could’ve done such a thing...”

“i’ve done so much for you, the least you can do is love me back.”

“you’re to naive. if i don’t protect you from danger, who will?”

“that’s right, just let me control your life. there’s no way someone like you could even live alone.”

"you’re crying... ah, it’s because you love me, right?”“i don’t understand why you’re getting away from me... we’re a couple!”

“i’ve already told your parents you’d spend the holidays at my place, so stop crying. lovers do this all the time, so why aren’t you understanding this?”

“we’ll be together, forever and ever... forever...!”

“i cooked us a romantic dinner! so stay still while i detach the chains form you so we can go sit down, ok?”

“shh, please don’t cry... all relationships have their ups and downs, and i’m sure you’ll get used to being locked inside soon!”

"all the blood i’ve ever spilled was because of you.”“you don’t need anyone other than me. i’ll be your everything.”

“what did you think would happen? i told you i was an intense lover, didn’t i?”

“love hurts, get used to it.”

“say you love me again. say it so much i get drunk off it- i don’t care if you mean it or not, i just need to hear it.”

“don’t complain to me. you’re the one who tempted me, i just did as my instincts said.”

“your phone number, your favorite color, the brand of your clothes... i’ve memorized it all, see?”

“sure, you can turn me down. but i don’t think you’d want me to publish all these photos i’ve taken while you weren’t looking, would you?”

“oh... well, you found the photo of you i keep in my pillow, huh? ... well, what do you think of that? should i just keep the real thing instead of a pic?”

“now, stop drooling- we don’t need everyone to know you’re under a love potion, love.”

“oh, you aren’t that drunk, don’t worry. i just drugged you.”

“yes, i’ll admit i broke into your room to watch you sleep, but what can you do about it?”

“if you ever escape, i’ll track you down, no matter where. it’s useless to even try.”

“how can i get to your heart? should i try with money? or should i go straight for love potions?”

“i keep pencils you’ve chewed on, pictures i’ve printed of you, clothes i’ve stolen from your room... you think i’m a creep, don’t you?”

“you better learn to love me back. you know why? because nobody else will ever love you- so you’re stuck with me.”

“i’m sorry it had to be this way. i tried so hard to be a normal lover, but... it was always going to end up like this.”

“i feel like i’ll die if you don’t love me. would you truly hurt me like this?”

“what is it you don’t understand? nobody is ever going to love you like i do. nobody will ever understand how i feel about you.”

“your family, your friends... they’ve forgotten about you by now, i’m sure. but i’m still here- i’m the only one who loves you.”

“look at me in the eye when i speak. it’s rude not to do so, don’t you know?”

“if i tell you to jump, you should just ask how high. obedience should be your first nature.”

“i want to pamper you- i want to keep you safe and warm... like a pet.”

“don’t stress too much over what i slipped in your drink- i just want you to relax with me, for once... i don’t want you to be so tense; here, i’ll even undo your chain for a while.”

“you’re lucky to have someone who loves you this much. don’t you know how lonely it is to have nobody who loves you...?”

“you take, take, and take- my love, my protection, my affection... you should show me some of that back; don’t be so ungrateful.”

“you want to run away? sure, go as far as you can. catching a difficult prey is the most satisfying hunt.”

“i was normal, you know? you awoke something inside of me- you fucked me up.”

“i hunger for you, darling. your beauty, your presence; i need them like i need air.”

“perhaps you’re right in that i don’t love you, at least in the traditional sense. i’m obsessed with you- i need you, more strongly than the word love can imply.”

“you belong to me. i own you, body and soul.”

“... it hurts me to hear you say you hate me. i’ve gone so far for you- how can you do this to me?”

“aw, i know people warned you about me, baby. you ignored them- and look where you are now, huh?”

“shut up and do as i say. i don’t care how scared you are- feel free to blame it on my hormones or instincts, or whatever helps you feel less guilty.”

“i’ve been watching you for a while. i know your routine, your habits; i fell in love with how you act when you think nobody is looking.”

“i need to know if the love potion worked; say you love me, kiss me, show me affection.”

“hate me, fear me, think whatever you please. it doesn’t matter to me; you’ll do your thing and i’ll do what i want.”

“stop crying so much. it hurts me to see you sad, don’t you know?”

“oh, you’ve stopped fighting...? has the day come when you’ve finally understood how much i love you?”

“ah, it’s ok to be angry at me... kick me, yell at me...! i don’t care what you do, just being near you is heaven!”

“i’d do anything for you. and i mean it; the law means nothing if it’s something you ask of me.”

“ah... you punched me- that’s ok, too. i hope it bruises; i want a mark to remind me your lovely hands were on my skin.”

“did i get the potion dose wrong...? you’re slurring your words and you look hazed, but... well, the love potion is still working, i suppose.”

“i’ll be the only one you speak to and see. you’ll become hopelessly addicted to me, as i am with you.”

“i threw away all my morals for you; i don’t care if what i do is wrong anymore.”

“toxic relationship...? my, i think you’re a bit confused- i’m simply taking care of you, don’t you know?”

“don’t talk back to me like that- in fact, don’t talk at all unless i tell you to.”

“bow to me, love me, please- make me feel something, or i’ll make you suffer.”

#yandere x reader #yandere prompts #prompts #writing prompts #prompt list

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malfoysmaybank · 3 years

Text

drivers license - stanley barber

a/n: i was having some writers block on my requests and i’ve been sobbing to this song on repeat, so here’s a fic for my bebs stanley barber. i also changed one lyric from “blonde girl” to “one girl” because it fit the plot more!

warnings: angst, you might cry (i did while writing this lols), parent absence, fluff at the end because i couldn’t break my heart with this one, but some straight angst is coming soon!!!!

word count: 1.7k+

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You had been best friends with Stanley Barber since you were young, maybe 10. You had stood up for him when some kids were pushing him around because of his outfit.

“Hey! Get off of him!” You said, yelling at the trio of 5th grade boys pushing another boy to the ground. “Or what, Y/N? You’ll tattle? We aren’t scared of a girl.” The leader of the pack said. You clenched your jaw and punched him straight in the nose. You weren’t going to let a man talk to you like that. The leader started crying and ran off, his sidekicks following after him. You walked over to the boy on the ground and helped him up. “T-Thanks for that.” He said as he got back up. “No problem. I’m Y/N, by the way. Y/N Y/L/N.” You extended your hand for a handshake. He took it. “Stanley. Stanley Barber.”

You’ve been close ever since. You ate lunch with him that day and bonded over silly things like tv shows and favorite colors. In middle school, he helped you develop your style and you bonded over new things like favorite bands and books. You had his back and he had yours. He truly was your best friend.

However, you started seeing Stanley in a new light in eighth grade. He had gotten taller, his face a little more structured. He also learned how to play guitar that year. He wrote a song about you, of all things. Nobody had ever done something like that for you before. You started noticing the little things he did for you. He would randomly bring a bag of your favorite candy to lunch if he saw you were having a bad day. He taught you how to play piano because he thought it sounded nice with your voice. You fell in love with Stanley Barber. Fuck. Of course you’d NEVER tell him. You couldn’t fuck up the only good thing in your life right now. So that meant silently suffering whenever he had a crush on someone.

That’s the issue, you couldn’t be happy for him when he was with someone else. You spent countless days crying alone in your room after he’d go on for hours about his newest crush. This continued for a straight 3 years. His newest crush was Sydney Novak. You thought this one would blow over, just like his past few, but it didn’t. In fact, this one was the strongest crush he’s ever had. He’d been ditching you to hang out with her. He wasn’t even there to see you get your drivers license, something he’d been so encouraging about. He basically taught you how to drive because he knew how much it meant to you. He didn’t even know you had passed your test, never once asking. But in the sparse moments when he didn’t blow off plans, he’d constantly be talking about her. One of those sparse moments being tonight.

You were currently in his room/basement and he was going on one of his Sydney rants. “She’s so cool, Y/N. I mean, I’ve never met someone who I’ve clicked with more.” Um ouch, but whatever. “I don’t know, she’s just different. Like, in a good way though.” Three deep breaths, Y/N. 3… “We even hooked up the other night.” 2… “I think I’m in love with her.” 1. “Look Stanley, not to be rude, but do you EVER shut up about her?!” You spat. He looked over at you in shock. “I can’t do this tonight… I’m leaving.” You grab your ‘save the earth’ backpack and start jogging up the stairs to leave.

He follows as you open the door to his garage. “Woah, woah, woah, Y/N. What’s up?” Stan calls from behind you. You grab your skateboard and lift up the garage door. It’s pouring outside, but you don’t care. You go to leave but feel a hand on your wrist stop you. “You’re not going out in weather like that, just come inside and we can talk.” He says gently, still slightly confused. “About what, Sydney again? Don’t you get it Stanley?!” You snap in his face. His eyebrows furrow and you let out a sarcastic laugh, tears building in your eyes. “Of course you don’t. You’ve been so wrapped up in Sydney that you forgot who I was! I’m so done, Stan. I can’t sit here and pretend that I don’t care anymore. Don’t bother hanging out with me anymore.” You snap and rip your wrist away from Stanley’s grip.

You drop your board and get on, pushing as fast as you can. He calls after you but you block him out. When you’re a far distance away from him and his house, you just sit down on the side of the road and cry. Hurt that he’ll never be yours. Angry that he doesn’t care about you anymore. Frustrated because you tried to be the glue that held your friendship together, but even glue can’t fix the titanic.

You didn’t go to school for the next week. Your parents wouldn’t care, they weren’t even here. Still on some ‘business trip’ just like every week. Instead, you did something that calms you. Wrote music about how you were feeling. You played piano basically all week. Singing anything and everything you were feeling. It made you feel worse sometimes, but in the end it felt worth it.

Stan pulled into your driveway in his dad’s piece of shit car. He needed to work this out with you, he hadn’t seen you all week and he was worried. He missed his best friend. As he quietly closed the car door, he heard the piano playing. He didn’t recognize the song, he was curious. He didn’t even bother knocking, knowing you would slam the door in his face if you knew it was him. He quietly shut the front door and he heard your voice. It got louder as he walked closer to your bedroom door. He’d always loved your voice, it put him to sleep some nights. He could see you slightly, the door left ajar. He listened in.

“I got my drivers license last week,

Just like we always talked about.

'Cause you were so excited for me

To finally drive up to your house.

But today I drove through the suburbs,

Crying 'cause you weren't around”

You sang flawlessly, not a single note out of tune. There was so much emotion behind your voice. So much hurt, anger, frustration. He continued listening, trying to find out who caused you so much hurt. He’d bash their face in, that’s for sure.

“And you're probably with that one girl

Who always made me doubt.

She's so much older than me,

She's everything I'm insecure about”

With that first line, it hit him. He’d caused this hurt. The anger, the frustration, that was him. He was so angry with himself that he almost missed the next line… almost.

“Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs,

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?”

You… you loved him? He’d spent so much time on Sydney that he hadn’t even realized what was in front of him all these years. Except he had.

“And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one.

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.”

God damn it! He could’ve confessed sooner, instead of ignoring his feelings. And for what? A mindless hookup with Sydney?! He could’ve had you this whole time, but he fucked up.

“....Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.”

You said that line softly. No anger, or frustration, or even confusion behind that line. Just hurt. He saw a single tear fall down your cheek as you stopped singing. There was more to that song, you just couldn’t continue. He’d be sure to ask you to sing the rest of it later, but right now he needed to fix this. You stood up from the piano bench and he burst through the door. “Stanley, what are you doi-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he wrapped his arms around you and brought your head to his chest. “I meant every word of that damn song. Every word. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” Tears flowed down your face as you tightly hugged him back and buried your face in the crook of his neck. “I love you. And I’ll be better for you. I should’ve treated you with the respect and love you deserve. I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Please give me a second chance, please.” He cried. “I love you too, Stan.” You started. “But I don’t know.” He squeezed you tighter (but still as gentle as possible, he didn’t want to hurt you), with more tears flowing out of his eyes. “Please, Y/N. I’ll be better. If I give you anything less than the love and attention you deserve, you have my full permission to punch me square in the face and kick me to the curb.” You both giggled, still crying.

He let go of you to hold your face in his hands. “Please?” He begged. “...Okay, fine. But we need to go over how you’re going to do better in the future and what we can do to help each other communicate better and stuff.” You said. He picked you up and spun you around, making you squeal. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Y/N!! I promise I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” You laughed as he set you down and leant down to whisper in your ear. “Want to hear a secret?” He said, sending shivers down your spine. “I never liked Sydney.” He laughed as you hit his chest. “You dick!” You exclaimed, shocked. He swiftly pulled you in by the waist, your faces inches apart as your hands rested on his chest. “You love me, though.” He whispered. “That I do.” You said and finally closed the gap. Damn, you could kiss this boy forever. Alas, the moment is cut short because unfortunately, humans need oxygen to survive. “I love you too.” He says and smiles, giving you a peck on the forehead. “Could you sing the rest of that song for me? I love your voice but that songwriting was INCREDIBLE.” He says and you nod.

------------------------------------------------------

permanent taglist:

@loonylunaandthenargles

#stanley barber x reader #stanley barber #ianowt #i am not okay with this #stanley barber x you #stanley barber x y/n

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oneweekoneband · 3 years

Text

her Nebraska (1982)

In July I flew to Massachusetts with a plague on, and I felt that it was wrong, but my mother had begged and I’d been out of work for months. Mornings there I ran in long, uneven ovals on the same roads I’d memorized in high school. There’s no sidewalks, but the few feet of dirt between the craggy pavement and the open mouths of the fields serve all right for a single body in motion. When a truck comes up close from behind, the ground shakes, and I step away bouncingly from the street toward thigh-high yellow weeds and grass, and keep going. I was slowly picking my way back in that dirt, sweat-slick from only a plodding couple of miles in peak summer heat, and sucking the wet cotton of my mask in between my teeth on every inhale, when Taylor Swift announced she was releasing a surprise album produced by the guy from The National. Not the guy from The National, like, the voice, but the guy from The National whose photo was circulated on Twitter earlier this year as some kind of antifa super soldier, which isn’t the case, but would’ve been rad. First, I stopped dead to send some outraged, misspelled text messages, and then I ran home faster than I’d moved in years.

Tall, blonde, patrician pop star Taylor Swift is to me something like a cross-between a wife and a boogeyman. Bound we’ve been since we were really children. Time and its changes haven’t rid me of her, and what’s worse is I have never quite been able to wish they would, though I claim as much all the time. Countless hours of my one wild and precious life have been spent on endlessly analyzing the minutiae of Taylor Swift’s music, the mind that made it, the real world events which influenced it. And though all the while I have known she is only a person, and that people, while each strange and lovely in their own ways, are, in the end, mostly dull, needful in just the regular manner, the fantasy is better, the sick dream of a megalomaniac songstress, curious, thrilling, probably evil, and I choose that. I don’t know Taylor Alison Swift, born to this world in, I presume, the usual way. But my Taylor Swift? I’m a renowned expert. I’ve always eaten up stories—movies, music, celebrity news, the one my grandfather tells about falling off his bike once in Ireland as a boy and his face “cracking open like an egg”—like a starved dog. I’m obsessive about my interests, but not inclined to intense fandom, and certainly not fandom in the mode of the stan. For one, I’m too self-absorbed. But caring intensely for a famous person is falling in love with a ghost, and that’s all right—I mean, what the hell? We’re here together just dying... Let’s enjoy—but is an affair best undertaken with the knowledge that everyone alive has their own complex interiority, as unruly as your own, and that you, a stranger, are not in any real way connected to the lawless, blurry middle of that celebrity, and will never be. It’s freeing and fun to know this. I mean, these people are basically in your employ. Glamorous dollhouse dwellers. Acknowledging that uncrossable distance allows for a different, healthier closeness of pure imagination. My feelings, then, can comfortably be at once both fiercely intense and entirely silly. I am a foremost scholar in the art of the Taylor Swift who exists in my head. The real person raised in Pennsylvania I don’t know at all. I have some conjectures on the matter, and, as with all my conjectures, every hackneyed theory, each picky little opinion, I’m sure they’re perfect, brilliant, just absolutely right, but that’s still all they are. Taylor Swift, figure of the cultural imagination, is the Jodie Comer to my Sandra Oh in Killing Eve, annoying and pretty in frills, taunting me endlessly and holding us trapped together in a dance of most enchanting death. But the real Taylor Swift has favorite bed sheets and a social security number and a British boyfriend, none of which I have any desire to know about, and if I saw her at a restaurant I’d politely avert my eyes before, yes, dive-bombing the group text. There’s nobody on Earth I’d stand in line to speak to, but then I’ve been speaking to a certain figment of Taylor Swift for nearly half my life.

I went to a Taylor Swift concert the night before I moved into college in 2009. My father’s work friend, firefighter by day, near professional gambler by night, got comped tickets to the Fearless Tour stop taking place at the nearby casino, and he let me have them as a reward, mainly, for happening to be seventeen. Live in-person and performed acoustically, “Fifteen” made me cry. A few years after that, in the thick, sticky part of my first post-college summer, I wrote approximately twenty-three million words about her in these very pages. (”Pages”) At that point, Taylor’s most recent release was 2012’s Red, and the work I produced that long ago July about Taylor and her career, writing I was fairly pleased with at the time, feels now, besides just being extremely clearly written by a twenty-one year old, strange to me for the way it favors the sweet over the sour almost uniformly. There is a wholesome kind of ardor in that writing which maybe I’ve outgrown the ability to hold. Or maybe Taylor just proceeded to spend the next half a decade plus releasing one bad single after another, and it was taste—and trespasses against taste—and not some shift in my nature which altered the tenor of our bond. I have real love for my particular image, gleaned from public statements and published art, of smart, bizarre famous woman Taylor Swift, and I admire the bulk of her output very much. I’m just no longer so inclined to fawn. This is not to say I am here to offer a Taylor Swift hate screed. I couldn’t swing it, and, anyway, I’m not a pop feminist-for-hire circa 2010. But we’re older now. Things are different. At twenty-eight, twenty-nine this month—Taylor will, also this December, turn thirty-one—I regard Taylor Swift warily, like an ex with whom you have a tentative friendship, perpetually on the brink of falling one way or the other into hatred or delight, only to wobble back the opposite direction again at the slightest provocation, but still, despite best efforts, even, I regard her all the time.

folklore was released at midnight on July 24th 2020, but I was at a cabin in rural Vermont without Internet or cell service. I drank Bud Light seltzers with my mother while watching the eerie pandemic return of Major League Baseball, and when I got into a strange bed there I stewed, knowing there were people out in the world all over who were hearing Taylor Swift songs I never had, and that this was a fundamental wrong, a disruption in the balance of the universe. I listened to it the next morning in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot.

And folklore is great. That’s the terrible thing. Slightly less great, maybe, than some people have insisted, tricked, I think, by just the pronounced shift in sound. But it’s great. A little gift I asked for a thousand times and was still surprised to get, like a wife who didn’t expect her henpecked husband to ever follow through and buy the paraffin wax hand bath as-see-on-TV. For years, I’ve been halfheartedly insisting that Taylor had a great album in her. I’d say it even, perhaps especially, while she stubbornly fed me gruel. Or worse, gruel with the occasional whiff of something better. With a ripe, little raspberry dropped into the slop. The bright, villainous thrill of “Getaway Car” made me believe Taylor, my Taylor, was in there somewhere under the lacquer of sequins and synth, which, while not objectionable by default, seemed a costume, and an ill-fitting one. The lived-in world of “Cornelia Street” made those old scars sting. That gay “Delicate” video. When she did “Call It What You Want” on SNL and played guitar while wearing an ugly sweater. If the abominable “ME!”, lead single off Lover, was the stick, 1989’s “Clean” was the carrot. I was Charlie Brown, and Taylor my Lucy, yanking the football back again and again. Over drinks I still yelled that Taylor Swift’s next album would be, “her Nebraska”, referring to my favorite Bruce Springsteen record, and learned to live with that egg on my face for good. I suppose I even came to like it. There was something inherently funny in taking up, like, “blind faith in the as of yet untapped greater artistic potential of massively wealthy and popular singer Taylor Swift” as my totally inane personal cause du jour, and eventually it was a bit, a gag I performed to be obstinate and didactic, but way down somewhere awful near my kidneys I meant it the whole while. And then she did it. A pandemic befell the world and amid a sea of human suffering Taylor Swift remembered she can write. She wrote, and with a massive, crucial assist from Aaron Dessner, whose music on this record is sometimes so beautiful it actually angers me, as the last thing I needed in already perilous times was to be made to try and marry my uniquely perverse emotional responses to beloved divorced dad band The National and fucking Taylor Swift, she made an album which, if not her Nebraska, per se (I’ve come to realize that a major part of believing Taylor Swift will one day make an album I find as quietly devastating and gorgeous as Nebraska is knowing that no album will ever actually be Her Nebraska... That each will, rather, to me, be more and more evidence that it’s coming still, more proof that the limit is untouched, on and on ad infinitum, or at least until the seas take us into a place of salty peace.) is a shocking credit to all my hard-fought and deluded confidence. folklore is great. This fact has made me feel almost equally as disoriented from my understanding of the world as the time-melting COVID-19 lockdowns have, and it turned my Spotify year in review annual collective AI humiliation kink thing into a glaring indictment of my mental state, but still, I mean... It’s great.

In talking about folklore a bit this week, there are a number of specific topics I intend to cover—what a thrill it is to hear Taylor say “fuck”; Taylor’s terrifying birth chart; the astoundingly perfect bridge of “the last great american dynasty”; “because my ass is located at the back of my body”; the bit in last year’s “Lover” where deranged WASP Taylor Swift implies that to “leave the Christmas lights up til January” is some signifier of being a love-struck bohemian, when actually everyone who doesn’t employ domestic staff to take their lights down does this; how reputation is the best of the Taylor Swift records released in the latter half of the 2010s, actually, and the people who can’t see that are cowards—but intend mostly to let the muse move me where she will. Against the advice of my better angels, she—that tie-in marketing eldritch terror—always does.

#taylor swift #folklore

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manychocolatefactories · 3 years

Text

CatCF: White Chocolate

And here is my White Chocolate retelling!

About this version: This version could take place in something between the 90s and the 2000s. It has been strongly inspired by both the world of cartoons in general, and "A Series of Unfortunate Events", as strange as it may seem. In this version, you have Seven Platinum Tickets.

Reinterpretation of Augustus Gloop:

Augustus Gloop, first Platinum Ticket winner. This Augustus, I imagined as a bully.

Physically, he is a very round boy. His belly is round, his torso is round, his face is round, his arms and legs are round, he basically looks like a bunch of balloons tied together, or a mass of spheres/globes. He has two great "beaver teeth". In terms of clothes, he eithers wears hoodies too small for him and of bright, vivid, flashy colors (orange, yellow, pink) or he wears striped shirts that are not slimming at all (such as the red and white stripes shirt of Augustus Gloop in the 2005 movie).

To all adults, Augustus plays the part of the cute, happy, innocent boy. But to all the other kids, he is a horrible, nasty, brutal and greedy bully. He likes to torture and dominate others - though he is not a sadist. He just seeks power and dominion, he loves to strike fear and submission in the heart of other children. A good exemple of his double-faced nature are his beaver teeth - he can actually speak perfectly fine with them, even though they gave him a slight lisp that is quite cute to adults. But with children, he worsens his lisp on purpose so that he would spit and splutter all over their faces, and when said children complain, the adults keep saying things like "He can't help it, he is just different, don't discriminate".

Augustus actually used to be a regular-sized kid (even though taller and bigger than his comrades, but not that fat). He regularly beat up, gave wedgies or other typical bully tortures on his peers to get their money or their toys. But it all changed when one day a boy had the idea to offer him his lunch instead of his money. Augustus was a big eater you see, and he seized the opportunity of having a free lunch. And since all the other kids preferred to give up their lunch rather than their money of their toys, they all started to "encourage" (as in, subtly manipulating him) so that he would racket lunch and food instead of money out of them. As a result, Augustus grew immensely fat on all the free food he got each day - and with his bigger size he could intimidate and crush other kids more easily. But at least, they didn't had to steal money from their parents anymore.

His demise will be with the Exploding Candies (remember those?). I think they would be going by a section of the Factory where some of Wonka's candies are stored, and Augustus would see another kid holding an Exploding Candy. Not knowing what it is, he would bully said kid (maybe Charlie?) into giving it to him. He would swallow it and then...

BOOM! HE EXPLODES INTO LITTLE PIECES!

No, I'm kidding Xp Actually I went with something much more cartoony (this Augustus himself being cartoony - in fact I based him in "fat Chuck with beaver teeth" from the cartoon "Chuck's Choices". It may sound weird but it makes kind of sense in the series Xp). He would suddenly be all distended and inflated like a balloon, and then deflate completely (again, like a balloon), reduced to a flat, pancake-like boy, with smoke coming out of his mouth, nose and ears.

Reinterpretation of Violet Beauregarde:

The character is named Violet Strabismus, second Platinum Ticket winner. For her, I tried to think about what kind of people/archetype/stereotypes were seen chewing gum all day long, and I ended up finding this idea upon seeing a girl on a train that corresponded exactly to that.

This Violet is the typical embodiment of the cynic, "pseudo-edgy" teenager that seeks everything that is bleak and dark. She is a mix of goth, of emo, of punk and grunge. She only wears and surround herself with things dark, creepy, sinister or sad. She romanticizes notions such as despair, death, suicides, and the like. She is the kind of teenager that claims her whole life is just a series of pains and losses, that she seeks comfort in the darkness and the morbidity, and she disdains everything joyful, innocent or happy. Her two favorite hobbies are chewing gum, and trying to destroy other people's dreams and hopes with depressing talk.

The irony in all that, however, is that despite Violet's claims that she has a miserable and sad life, she actually has a very happy one. She has loving parents that support her in everything she does, and siblings that also love her. She comes from a wealthy background, which allows her to buy all the chains and piercings and extremely complicated goth/punk clothes she wants at specialized stores. She is quite a pretty and good-looking girl, even with her creepy clothes and dark makeup. She even has a huge house, and in fact despite her claims to adore death, never went to a funeral ever in her life, and never knew anyone that died. Still, she keeps repeating that she is a "misunderstood, bullied, rejected loner". And she is not suicidal herself, mind you, nor depressed. She is perfectly fine. She just wants to look like she is, to "fit her style".

Her demise, as with all the Violet variations in my stories, relies on the Three-Course Meal gum. But here, the dish used is the ice-cream. I had the idea that the gum would actually turn Violet's flesh into ice-cream. As a result she is immediately put inside Wonka's cold storage room and freezers, so she doesn't melt. And she is condemned to live her life alone, in dark, cold, locked up places, exactly as she pretended and wished to.

Reinterpretation of Veruca Salt:

Now, I am not much satisfied with this Veruca Salt, but well, it is still worth a shot, even though the idea itself may be not so original.

Veruca Salt, third Platinum Ticket winner. For this Veruca, I envisioned actually a character based on Darla Dimple from "Cats Don't Dance". She is a small, cute and child-like girl, that looks almost like a pretty little doll, but who is able to scream with an insanely powerful voice and can act like a total brat by throwing extremely destructive tantrums and breaking everything everywhere if she doesn't have what she wants.

Her demise was actually suggested by ArtMakerProductions - the Geese Room. The Geese Room from the 70s movie would return, with a full room having geese lay chocolate eggs for Easter (I also think Wonka would be disdainful of this silly idea according to which rabbits laid the Easter eggs). And when Veruca would throw one of her usual tantrum, one of the goose would believe her to be one of her children (due to Veruca's screams sounding like a goose' screams) and just sit on her, crushing the little girl. (Not to death of course, but that's one big goose Xp).

Reinterpretation of Mike Teavee:

This one was hard to think about, but I finally found something I'm quite proud of.

Mike's character is obsessed with television, right? And he wishes to be INSIDE television, right, that's the core of his demise. Well... what about a Mike Teavee that is obsessed with television not as a watcher but as an actor?

Henry Trout, fourth Platinum Ticket winner, is a former child actor who used to be the star of numerous teenager sitcoms and other televisions shows by Disney-like productions. All this fame turned him into a spoiled, arrogant and selfish brat, and when he was kicked off the shows, for both being too old AND being just too much of a jerk, he couldn't let go of the past. He believes that everyone knows him through his work as an actor, and that everyone is a fan of him. He spends a lot of his time looking at his old television shows, and television is his only topic when speaking with other people. He still dresses and acts like a star - and never once realizes that a good lot of people don't know or even remember him. As per ArtMakerProductions, his parents are also his agents, and they desperatly try to find back their son's former glory, by "overselling" him to get a lot of media exposure, and still doing a lot of advertisement and promotion despite him not getting any real work - the finding of a Platinum Ticket was another attempt at becoming famous once more.

Take the characters of "fallen stars" such as Norma Desmond in "Sunset Boulevard" and Jane Hudson from "Whatever happened to Baby Jane?". Mix them with the former Disney or Nickelodeon child and teenage stars, especially if they had a dark turn in their life (the Spouse twins, David Henrie, Cameron Boyce, Zac Efron...). And you get Henry Trout.

His demise is still the Television Room, like all the other Mikes. However his variation is that the television Wonka used was prepared to teleport and air objects, such as Wonka bars. It is still a technology in working, and they only focused on the material and visual parts. They haven't worked on the sounds. As a result, once Henry Trout gets on TV, he is insanely happy because now everyone will see him and nobody will kick him out... but then he realizes he can't speak, because there is no sound. And when rescues from the television, he discovers he turned completely mute.

Reinterpretation of Charlie Bucket :

Charlie Bucket, the seventh and last Platinum Ticket winner.

For this one... I actually don't know. I wanted to do a Charlie based on the "brown-haired Charlie" as illustrated for exemple by 2005's Charlie. But I hesitate. On one side, I haven't used yet the idea of "the too-saint Charlie", aka a Charlie Bucket so good and so perfect he becomes a male Mary Sue, unrealistic and annoying, an exaggerated caricature of a good boy. I thought I could potentially use this with the brown-haired Charlie, especially since 2005's Charlie was criticized for being a too-perfect child.

On the other side, I also liked the idea of a crippled Charlie, in the mind of "Tiny Tim" from A Christmas Carol, and I also thought it would be fitting for him...

So I'll let it float for now.

Reinterpretation of the deleted kids :

# Terence Roper. Since this one had barely any personnality in the original drafts, I decided to include him (especially since I already reinvented the two other kids part of his trio - Clarence Crump and Bertie Upside).

I think of Terence Roper as the typical "hot bad guy" archetype. He is a criminal kid, and a little delinquant, that drives despite not having a permit, that steals, that robs, that like to spread chaos and destroy shop windows and tag walls etc... I think he is the son of two famous criminals, and thus thinks of crime as the "family business". But he is also a very good-looking, very charming, and very popular boy, which resulted in him not only being leader of gangs and the like, but also having a sort of cult or worship around him - similarly to how "bad boys" in high schools can be idolized. I think something very similar appened with his parents - I want to explore with this character how people worship criminals, with very successful bandits, mafioso or drug dealers ending up as popular and romanticized and idolized as movie stars, singers or the like.

He is the blousons noirs of the 50s and 60s, the old-fashioned troublemakers pachucos, the greaser delinquants of the movie Grease, and all other fashionable kind-of-criminal groups you could think of.

But the irony here is that Terence actually got his Platinum Ticket by legal means, by buying a chocolate bar - and in fact, for him to have found the Golden Ticket and not stole it is a great disappointment and shame.

For his demise I thought of re-using the Fizzy Lifty Drink. He would stole it in an act of bravado, and drink it without realizing what it was - which would result in him getting a perpetual case of bad gazes (frequent burps, farts, and other stomach noises). This would completely ruin his cool and good looking image, as well as any kind of grace or discretion he may have.

# Miranda Mary Piker. Sixth Platinum Ticket Winner (Terence Roper was fifth). She is based on the character as most know her : a school-obsessed, fun-killing girl. The original incarnation was a stern, no-nonsense, very strict girl that basically acted like any cruel headmistress or teacher from those horrible British boarding schools. However, given that this character was alreayd beautifully reintepreted by Danguy96, I wanted to do something slightly different. This Miranda is more like an "annoying moral guardian". She is still obsessed with school, good work and being an obedient and good child, and she still disdains silly things such as games, entertainment or fun in general, but instead of being a stern and harsh girl, she would rather be a nagging and annoying pest, that keeps giving speeches and sermons to everyone about why you should act a certain way and not another, a walking moralization that keeps trying to teach "proper manners", "maturity" and "basic knowledge" to everyone in a very condescending way. I also thought she would try to dress up as an adult, and thus with adult clothes - but since she is just a cild, said clothes are much too big for her, resulting in her looking kind of ridiculous.

Her demise would, of course, be the Spotty Powder. I can't remember if this was an idea that was suggested to me, or one used by someone else in their reinterpretation, but I like the concept that instead of falling inside the machine and being crushed to death, Miranda (and possibly her school director father) would actually fall into a big pile of the Spotty Powder, and thus develop all the symptoms of a contagious disease and be forbidden from setting a foot in school for a very long period of time.

Reinterpretation of the rival chocolatiers :

This is the big defining feature of White Chocolate. In this version, the rivals of Wonka have a big part to play.

They don't appear in themselves - but they sent emissaeries, messengers and spoekpersons to contact each of the kids that won a Platinum Ticket, in a similar way to the 70s movie, and each chocolatier tempts the kid with a different "treat".

Slugworth seems to be a chocolatier involved in the criminal underworld - his emissaries at least seem to have some criminal undertones, and act through fear and violence rather than seduction. In fact, I think his chocolate and candy business may actually be a "cover" for darker criminal activites, and "washing" of dirty money.

Augustus Gloop receives the visit of a man with "icy blue eyes and nasty purple scars on his cheeks". He passes off as a waiter in the restaurant in which Augustus is celebrating, even though it is just a disguise. He tries to convince Augustus by both subtle threats, and the promise of a free pass and unlimited offer in all the restaurants and buffets of the town.

And Terence Roper, due to his criminal connections, actually is invited to the house of a wealthy man with ties to the criminal world, a creepy man in fancy, wealthy suits, but stuck in a wheelchair and with a fake eye shining like a silver dollar.

Slugworth's purpose seems to be the destruction of Wonka. He tries to convince the children to sabotage or put maybe bombs and things like that inside the Wonka factory, or to ruin batches of candy, stuff like that.

Prodnose rather keeps sending women as emissaries. In fact even thought of making Prodnose actually a female chocolatier, but I don't know yet... I thought of Prodnose as some sort of media mogul, that tries to spread their brand to everything (there are Prodnose television shows, book series, toys, sport equipment, gardening tools, etc...) including candy-making and chocolate-making.

One "messenger" contacts Veruca Salt. She is one of the journalists interviewinv the young girl after she found her Ticket. Based on Cherry from the musical, she is a happy, charmant, pleasant woman. But her face has something... weird to it, almost unnatural, as if she had a bad surgery job done to it. And she keeps smiling all the time - her smile seems completely stuck.

Henry Trout is the other one to receive a messenger from Prodnose. As Henry goes to have a new suit tailored for him (because of course Henry only had tailored suit perfectly to his size), the tailor reveals herself as a messenger of Prodnose, who could easily bring back Henry in Prodnose-made television series and shows. The tailor herself is a tall and thin lady all dressed in black, and with long, spindly fingers with long and pointy nails - her hands in fact look like creepy spiders.

I thought of probably Prodnose trying to cause a huge scandal inside the Wonka factory, and thus asking the kids to find out Wonka's dirty secrets, and if not, to invent some that they would "reveal" upon leaving the Factory. Where Slugworth tries to ruin physically and economically Wonka, Prodnose tries to ruin his reputation and to discredit him on moral ground.

As for Fickelgrubber, he is actually envious of Wonka. I think he is a very young person hailing from a very wealthy and powerful family, and his dream was to become a candy-maker, but he was very bad at it. However he refused to give up - especially when seeing how Wonka was succesful. Fickelgrubber is an envious and jealous child-minded young person, and he refuses to admit Wonka can succeed where he fails. Fickelgrubber has tried to copy and steal Wonka's inventions for years now, but all his attempt ended up failing miserably - he copied the ice-cream that never melt of Wonka, but they had a tendency to turn into rock-hard material. He copied the gum that could create gigantic balloons of Wonka, but he mixed up the recipe, and the gum actually made kids inflate and pop like balloons. And when Fickelgrubber released glow-in-the-dark candies, it was later revealed they contained a huge dose of radioactive components.

Fickelgrubber's emisseries are creepy kids (I still don't know if they are "friends" of his or merely all sorts of cousins of his real family - as I said, Fickelgrubber is quite young, both in spirit and mind).

Violet, upon visiting her local cemetery, is contacted by a beautiful blond teenager standing on the wall of the cemetery. He acts flirtingly, seductively, playing the "good cop" (and he also actually acts like a cat, meowing, purring and sometimes even moving like a cat - I thought of him as a parody of Cat Noir from Miraculous). And when Violet is not receptive to this, the boy presents his sister, that is waiting behind Violet. A big, burly, muscular girl with a bulldog-like face.

Miranda is also contacted by Fickelgrubber emissaries - twin girls, identical, but "perfect", as in with perfectly clean and ordered clothes, identical beautiful hairstyle, and the like (I thought of them as inspired by the twins from The Shining). They are basically the kind of "perfect" and "proper" kids Miranda seeks to create in the world. And they try to convince her to join them (they even have prepared for Miranda clothes identical to their own so that they would become their new sister). I don't know however how would Miranda react to that - either she refuses, due to stealing secrets being perceived as cheating and she is against it ; either the sisters actually convince her to go along with the plan by the simple argument that Wonka is an excentric, ridiculous man that gets success without hard work, and Miranda hates both goofy/clownish and not-hard-working people.

As for Charlie Bucket, he will actually be visited in turn by one messenger from each chocolatier (in fact, he may even escape them when they start fighting each other).

Slugworth's emissary... I actually don't know. Xp I thought of maybe a kind olf man, almost grandfather like, that acts all nice and doting, but then reveals that inside his cane, there is a blade.

Prodnose's emissary is a loud-talking woman with a lot of makeup and wearing a huge coat made out of crocodile (I thought of her as a mix of Cruella and Ursula).

As for Fickelgrubber's emissaries, Charlie meets at first a beautiful Japanese teenager (male or female?) dressed in a refined suit, something between a fashion model and a succesful business owner. And when their smooth talk fails, they present their brothers - because they are triplets. And appear from the darkness two huge sumos, teenagers yes, but the size of elephants. (This was again inspired by usual sumo appearances in cartoons, from JCA to the Simpsons passing by Shuriken School).

#catcf #charlie and the chocolate factory #white chocolate #augustus gloop #mike teavee #violet beauregarde #veruca salt #terence roper #miranda mary piker #fickelgrubber #prodnose #slugworth

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vs-redemption · 3 years

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I love Soft Saturday/Sunday! :3 I remember you posted a selfship of yourself and I wanted to try one for me lol so, here goes! It was a bit hard/weird because I don't think any of these wonderful guys would be with me ^^U It was still fun to do though!

1.) Belle x Todoroki, Shouto (Bellouto? Shoutelle? Belloroki?)

- I'd probably be very distant with Todoroki at first because of his cold demeanor. It would have to be Midoriya who would get us together.

- We would end up sitting together at the same lunch table, chatting with our group of friends. Eventually our love for noodles would bring us closer. I would buy him some different types of cold soba or even show him unique recipes to try out. If I ever see anything soba related, I'd text him and say "Look! I thought of you! It's your fave ^^"

- Once he opens up about his past, I'd probably get teary eyed and give him a big hug. I'd thank him for trusting me enough with his childhood memories and I'd also eventually open up to him about my own hardships.

- I would give him all my love without smothering him. I'd just want to show him the love and care he deserves especially since he didn't have much of it growing up.

- I think it's the little things that might make Todoroki fall for me. Things like bringing him tea when he's studying late, if he fell asleep before setting up his alarm, I'd put one on his phone and on my own just to make sure he'd wake up on time, praising/acknowledging all of his big and small accomplishments, getting his favorite food when he's sad/had a rough day, sending him cute text messages like "Good morning, handsome!" or even doing something like this:

Me and Todoroki: *studying intensely*

Me: *gasps loudly* OMG

Todoroki: What? O_O

Me: I love you. (´,,•ω•,,)♡

🙈

2.) Belle x Miya, Atsumu (Bellumu? Biya? Atsubelle?)

- I'd have to have known him for a long time before we'd date. Kind of like childhood friends to lovers? If I met him at an older age, I might think he was a jerk and wouldn't want to go out with him.

- I wouldn't be afraid to call him out. Like when Atsumu is having his "if you can't hit my toss then you shouldn't be on the team" moment, I'd probably punch his arm and scold him.

- I'd have to turn it around and tell him "what if someone told you that?" or "treat others the way you want to be treated". I think he'd like that I don't treat him any different or baby him.

- Since we're childhood friends, we're already comfortable with each other. We've also seen, heard, and been through a lot together. We'd know silly small things about each other like "Atsumu always listens to this song right before a game" or "His right eye always twitches 3 times before he sneezes"

- He's seen me go through some relationships and has seen how I've acted/treated the person I'm dating. Atsumu would see that I put in a lot of effort and the stuff I'd do for my previous boyfriends. I think that would eventually make him want to ask me out. It'd be something that he might want to experience, too. Like how it would feel to hold my hand or share a loving embrace.

- When we'd get angry at each other, it could get a bit loud, but we would resolve things quickly.

- Our relationship would also be fun and full of silliness and lovely surprises. He'd do something like honk the horn right when I'm passing in front of his car to get to the passenger side. Atsumu would also surprise me with a gift that I've been eyeing or even a spontaneous trip to somewhere!

3.) Belle x Kageyama, Tobio (Bellayama? Tobelle? Kagelle?)

- We met at a mutual friend's party in college. We'd probably talk about how we were basically dragged there.

-I love to party/hang out, but when I have something to do/ a goal, I strive hard to accomplish it. (ugh, getting some PTSD from nursing school lol)

-We would end up talking about our ambitions and what we hope to end up doing in our lives. After becoming friends for a while, we'd get on the topic of relationships. We'd both want someone who is patient and understands that when we're busy, we're not ignoring them. We're studying/practicing.

-I think that is what convinces both of us to start a relationship.

-We're both busy and can get stressed out easily, but we'd know what to do to ease the stress a little. Like giving Kageyama different flavored milk cartons.

-It would look like we don't spend much time together/don't really act like a couple, but when we have free time, we'd be spending it with each other.

-We'd get our nails done together. （〃・ω・〃）

-We'd both have to think about how great it would be when we get settled with our careers and that we'd have more time to spend together. Planning future adventures/vacations is our motivation.

-Even though I'd miss Kageyama dearly, I totally understand how it feels like when you have other obligations. I'd never want to get in the way of his goal so I would do my best to support him and show my love in any way that I can and that would be something he might love about me.

First off, all three of these amazing boys would love you to pieces! You are so thoughtful and kind and they'd be foolish not to fall for you! I accept no arguments about this. 😊 This got way out of hand so... gonna put my rambling below a cut.

Send me some soft headcanons

Let's talk Todoroki! Gonna be honest... I don't know if I trust Midoriya to play cupid 😂 Of course, meeting Todoroki through him makes sense, but you know who zeros in on how cute you two look together immediately? Yes, it's Mina! Thankfully she's not obnoxious about it, but she does have your back. She expertly manipulates every situation to give you and Todoroki a chance to interact. Somehow, thanks to her, he always ends up sitting/standing right next to you in class, at lunch, in training, on the bus, on the sofa in the common room... EVERYWHERE.

Poor boy would be so confused at first by your attention. Like, of course he doesn't mind being your friend, but nobody else texts or talks to him about his interests outside of hero stuff. He didn't even know anyone noticed he liked soba that much. And all the little things you do for him like bringing him tea or setting an alarm, he's not used to it. He doesn't hate it though. Actually, he kind of likes it. And I just want you to prepare yourself for the day when he takes the initiative and your phones lights up with a message from him for the first time with a picture of some random thing that made him think of you. *my heart would explode*

It's all downhill after that because he really likes the way you respond when he reciprocates your kindness. The flustered look on your face when he brings you some of his sister's homemade soba noodles for lunch, the cute emojis you use in your texts when he messages you first in the morning, and the shy smile you give him when he finds the courage to compliment you. He's never wanted to take care of someone the way he wants to take care of you before.

ATSUMU. You're totally right. I'm the same as you in that I would not trust this little shit for a while after meeting him. Childhood friends to lovers is nice because you there's no way you wouldn't know the real Atsumu. The idea of you knowing little personal things about each other is so cute too. Atsumu takes advantage of this and always gives the best gifts for birthdays and holidays. And he's always so excited to watch you open what he got because he KNOWS you'll love it because he knows YOU.

I'd like to say that he'd be into the fact that you treat him normally like anyone else, but something tells me he would actually expect special treatment since you two are close friends. It would surprise him a little every time you reprimand him for being rude to his teammates or fighting with his brother. He respects you more than anyone else in his life though, so he always straightens up his act just as soon as you give him that look. He hates when you're angry or annoyed at him, so of course he'll be on his best behavior for you. Honestly, he'd do anything to get positive attention from you. (He's already such a simp for you and he doesn't even realize)

He thinks he's just being a protective friend when he criticizes all your previous boyfriends. None of them are even that terrible but in his eyes, nobody treats you the way you should be treated and nobody would ever be good enough. He puts you on a pedestal to be honest. And yes, once you're together it would be full of teasing and giggles and he would absolutely take it too far and overdo it sometimes and get himself into trouble, but it's okay because you know he never means to upset you. He's just so excited and in love with you.

Kageyama's turn. Oh my god! This boy would be so awkward at a college party. He'd probably just be all tall and weird standing in the corner like 😳 what's happening? Thank goodness for you, coming over to talk to him ... but wait... you're so cute... WHY are you talking to him? Now he's flustered for a different reason and he tries his best to have a normal casual conversation with you but he stumbles over his words a bit but bless your heart, you pretend not to notice and continue smiling at him. He thinks you are SO PRETTY!! omg😭

A huge weight lifts off his chest when you start talking about your goals. He knows about goals. That's easy. The look on his face is kind of scary at first because it looks like he's scowling, but he is just listening very intently to you and absorbing every single word. He almost seems like a different person when you let him talk to you about volleyball. His whole face lights up and he's talking very enthusiastically with his hands. He apologizes for ranting at you afterwards, but is also amazed that you'd stayed and let him talk so long.

Being around you IS a huge stress relief. At first he's worried about not spending enough time with you or making you think he's not interested because of his awkward mannerisms. But you're always super understanding and patient with him. Plus, you're just as busy working towards your own dreams. He supports you as much as he can just as you do for him and falling into a relationship is just really easy and natural for the two of you.

Kageyama doesn't really know how to do big extravagant dates, so just being able to take walks with you, or do activities like doing your nails together is enough to make him happy. He WANTS to do more for you though. He would never admit to this, but he actually has a small list of things he plans to do once you both have more time. He pays attention to what you might even consider silly throwaway comments like "One day we should...." or "Sometime I'd like to...." He writes it all down because even if they aren't career goals, those are still things you want which makes them very important to him.

#belle💖#best moot squad #sorry I kinda... went crazy with this #Shoto Todoroki #Atsumu Miya #Tobio Kageyama

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cynthiaandsamus · 3 years

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Bulbamun’s Top Ten Simpsons Episodes!

So now that my new smart tv has Disney+ on it I’ve been watching a lot of Simpsons lately and started thinking about just what are my favorites, this is by no means a definitive list, I may change my mind immediately after posting this but I do tend to hover around the same era when I watch and I just thought about which ones I keep coming back to or otherwise stick with me

10. Round Springfield

So this one fucking makes me cry every time, I don’t watch it as much as I have most of the others on this list but watching Bleeding Gums Murphy die and leave Lisa so distraught always gets me, they do the crazy James Earl Jones cloud ending and it never fails to have me in tears by the end. Also Bart’s small character arc with Lisa believing he’s telling the truth when he wrecks his appendix leading into the end is a very nice touch (and is something that happens in reverse later on in the list).

9. Lemon of Troy

On the other end of things, Lemon of Troy just always makes me feel kind of good, it’s really funny, there’s so many subversion gags that work really well and it’s a neat little adventure story that changes the setting up a bit. Shelbyville is mentioned a lot in various episodes so it’s neat to just go there and see the people are just as weird and freaky as in Springfield despite Shelbyville always seeming to be the better option in most conversations. Also, lemon-shaped rocks.

8. Homer Badman

So this is here for a couple reasons, first of all the Candy Expo in the beginning is an amazing setpiece and I love all the gags they get out of all the crazy candy convention shenanigans. And then the episode just kind of pivots and we get a pretty dire take on media sensationalism that just gets more and more relevant every year. It’s a weirdly nuanced take too since none of the original parties are particularly at fault since they both don’t have the full story but they get swept up into a media whirlwind. (Though the more I think about it, Homer DID still technically grab the girl’s butt even if it wasn’t intended as sexual harrassment there’s still a case to be made that he did do it, but she seems fine to drop it after finding out about Gummi Venus De Milo so I guess it’s okay)

7. Lisa’s Substitute

This is the other episode that never fails to make me cry, like every time I watch this episode I end up having a huge headache from crying so much. This one admittedly relies a lot on its ending and isn’t quite as funny or touching throughout but what an ending, everything from the train scene and Lisa getting the note to how the family wraps up at home and Homer proves he can be a good parent in his own way while relating to all three of his kids on various levels, it’s just really great.

6. Homer the Heretic

So this one is on the list for its atmosphere (and it won’t be the last one) I really freaking love how it sells the lazy Sunday morning feel in the first half, how Homer crafts a fun day off for himself with all these silly little events and snacks and such (which is also how I spend my days off so it probably hit a little close to home). The religious commentary is pretty good too, Lisa the Skeptic was very close to making the list for how it handled respecting people’s faith even when you don’t share it but I kinda like how oddly inclusive this message is for a show that’s usually pretty Protestant-focused, it kind of gets to a message about the intention of faith being more important than the dogma, but also that something like church can still have value.

5. Bart on the Road

This one and the next one are more atmosphere pieces, admittedly the vaporwave meme may have influenced my opinion on this a bit but I find myself coming back to this episode a lot just for the breezy attitude it has about the whole road trip aesthetic and how well Bart organizes this thing on the fly even though none of them have any idea what they’re doing, plus Nelson and Martin are always good to drag along together (see Lemon of Troy) and Lisa’s subplot about connecting with Homer and that being the final test that connects it to the resolution of Bart’s plot I always thought was really cute.

4. Bart’s Comet

Like I said, this is another atmosphere pick. The parts of this one that always get me are the beginning when Bart’s getting up at 4am and everything’s so quiet and still and the day hasn’t really started yet, and then the quiet anxiety that hangs over the town as their waiting for the comet to come crashing down (which if I remember high school earth science it’s not a comet if it enters the atmosphere but whatever). It’s got some really funny jokes and a variety of townspeople to play off each other and a really sweet and poignant ending with Flanders but the early morning scenes and the apocalyptic dread are my favorites here.

3. Bart Sells his Soul

I guess I’m a sucker for the theological/philosophical episodes of classic Simpsons because I love this episode. Just like in an inverse of Round Springfield, this one wraps up with Lisa giving Bart something that solves his grief, and her point about Bart earning his soul through desperation and effort and prayer is really touching. The Moe stuff for the B-plot is really cute and I like the setting of turning Moe’s into a TGI Fridays type deal, plus the oddly heartbreaking scenes of Bart walking around feeling like something is missing, it’s all really good and wraps up in a surprisingly touching way.

2. One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

I feel like nobody talks about this episode as much as they should. Like it’s an episode about Homer Simpson facing his mortality and how that cuts to the core of his relationships with literally everyone in his life. It strips him bare and makes him thoughtful and introspective in a way we don’t really get to see while we take a quick jaunt through all his connections he’s made with the people closest to him. The scene of Homer mustering up all his dignity and listening to The Bible on tape and waiting to die really kinda touches me, I remember first seeing it as a kid and wondering what was going to happen, I knew they couldn’t kill Homer but part of that moment really sold it in a way I wasn’t expecting and approached mortality in a way that few others that use this stock plot do.

1. 22 Short Films About Springfield

Okay, Steamed Hams, you know it, I know it, Steamed Hams is one of the funniest things The Simpsons has ever done, but the whole episode is pretty great. The fact that it doesn’t have a central plot means that it can basically just be a gag factory and get a ton of variety, sweeping around the whole town and just punching in joke after joke of varying types. And despite its name and structure, it doesn’t feel like they’re isolated vignettes, it does feel like they’re going places since the shorts are decently tied together with good visual segues and some plots that continue throughout like Lisa’s hair story. Aside from the Cletus story and maybe a couple others there aren’t any hard cuts that divide one of the stories from another and it’s just really funny. Seems kind of weird to put all the touching and memorable episodes on the list and then top it off with a nonsense collection of hilarious gags but here we are.

#ooc #long post #The Simpsons #Top Ten

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years

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Can I request ikesen Mitsuhide or Obey Me Mammon? Some unrequited love from the boys pov? Give me angst 😍 it can end in fluff if you want :)

Okay so, I LOVE Mitsuhide too much to be able to write unrequited love for him, but Mammon is so dumb that I love him in a way that he’s my Spirit Animal and I want to /Dab at him with all my might.

And wave a fan of money at myself while winking at him, telling him he ain’t ever gonna get my money.

Oh, sweet sweet torture for Mammo-MaMoney.

Also. this is a screenshot I took from the game and I thought it would kinda work :D

It’s already been half a year since you came to his realm, and honestly, you’ve been such a nuisance, especially how you managed to slither your way into making pacts with almost all of the 7 demon brothers, that he actually admired you so much, but had no idea how to admit it, both to himself, or to you.

Honestly, he never would have realised he was ACTUALLY, REALLY, GENUINELY in love with you, until Beelzebub or Asmodeus pointed it out to him, since his actions betrayed his very flamboyant and meaningless words and boasts that he keeps spouting all the time.

He’s really such a love sick puppy that it became sort of obvious to you as well, but...

But you only saw him as the weird and funny class clown who’d make you laugh, but you had other type, romantically speaking, so you decided to friendzone him gently...

Which basically meant you never gave him any hint that you liked him.

You wanted someone more serious, more intellectually and emotionally mature, more understanding.

More...Not MaMoney.

So of course, other demons like Lucifer or Satan seemed to attract your attention more easily, while you kept Mammon as your puppy.

That, at least, he realised, but in a way, he was okay with it, because he got to spend time with you, even if it was platonic, and not romantic, the way he hoped for, but you know, seeing your bright smile always managed to light up his day and get over all the shitty things everybody says about him.

And if HE was the cause of your smile or laugh?

He’d be OVER the moon.

But the fact that as soon as other demon came into the room made you go follow him, and leave Mammo alone, really broke his heart.

Or better said, when you saw how much you would shine around someone else.

He accepted his defeat and that maybe he really had a shit personality, because of his greediness, and didn’t deserve the love of such a beautiful person.

He definitely accepted that you were someone else’s and he was just a friend for you.

Ah...Did I say that?

I lied.

Because the second he found you crying, he rushed to you, holding you close to his chest, stroking your hair soothingly and threatening to kill the bastard who made you cry.

And at first, he thought that your crush rejected you, and a part of his heart kinda leaped in glee, thinking he’d get another chance.

But then you started apologising to him and he got incredibly confused, like-

???

You did nothing wrong to him, why apologise? You never abused him the way his brothers would, and your teasing and mocking never got as harsh as theirs, so it’s all cool.

“I was a blind fool not to realise that I actually liked you and not them. It took a long talk with Beel to realise that, and even more, that I hurt your feeling so much, and I feel horrible that I put you through all of that. I never meant to make fun of you or make you feel bad, because I really cherish you, as a friend and even more, and I don’t want to lose you, Mammo. I’m sorry.” you cried into his chest, and I don’t think he ever felt more thrilled in his entire demon life than he felt now.

He was almost shaking and bouncing from excitement.

“Y-You mean to say that you...You actually like me?! Not as a joke or prank or something?! I-I mean-...! Of course you’d like me, what a silly idea! Haha!” Mammon would try to bring back his faux appearance of narcissism, but it still faded away very easily as soon as you started giggling.

“I thought I wanted someone grounded and mature, serious all the time...But in reality, it got more clear to me that someone with a great sense of humour and who is actually very sensitive and in touch with his emotions would be a much better fit for me. And for that, I was the one to unintentionally push you away. I’m so sorry, Mammo...” you hung your head, but he freaked out because nobody ever apologised to him, what is he supposed to feel?!

“Babe, no, stop, wait! Look at me! The Amazing Mammon forgives you and would gladly date you, The Awesome Y/N! Come one, smile for me, it’s worth all the money in the world!” he flashed you one of his million dollar smiles that made your heart leap in happiness, as you put your arms around his neck and kisssed his cheeks, making him flush with embarrassment.

Mammon.exe stopped working.

Not that he ever worked anyways.

But damn, is he gonna spoil you rotten, his little princess that he loves so much.

(Yes, he would definitely steal others’ money and valuables to give them to you)

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gimme-a-hand-scaevola · 3 years

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A review of the book The Rook by Daniel O’Malley that nobody ever asked for...

Ok so @chemcat92 recommended me this book and I listened to it on audiobook and I just... have a lot of thoughts. I haven’t read the sequel and I’m torn if I will. Having watched some AMVs of the show, it’s a hard pass. My review is going to be in three parts:

1. The plot

2. Wasted Potential - In General

3. Wasted Potential - Gestalt the Most Wasted Character Potential I’ve Read since Drizzt Do’Urden

Obviously spoilers under the cut.

Part 1: The Plot - i.e. I think Daniel discovered books four days before he started writing

Ok so... The plot of this book. It starts off STRONG I will give it that. Myfanwy Thomas wakes up in a rainy part surrounded by bodies wearing latex gloves and no memories. She soon discovers her previous self lost her memories but because she was organized and knew it was coming, she has eased new Myfanwy’s transition. She gets to choose to stay in her life through letters and then we get an easy way to give flashbacks. Anyway this part RULES.

Honestly, the book starts strong as hell. Myfanwy discovers she has supernatural powers over people’s nervous systems and is a trained bureaucrat for a supernatural wing of the government. This all runs sort of like a combination of Heroes and Harry Potter in the best way possible. And here is where we find the strongest part of the book: the superpowers.

We don’t have to look that far to find Heroes type shows or books where everyone has a special ability, so if you’re going to go that route, you’ve gotta bring it. And honestly, Daniel brings it. They powers are cool as hell, they’re inventive, they’re well bounded. I felt like I understood what people’s powers and limitations were. We were in a land with magic, but it never felt cheap. This is going to dovetail into my absolute RANT about Gestalt but give me a sec to get there.

Ok. So honestly I don’t even have any complaints until the third act. Act one gives us the set up, act two introduced the big bad the Grafters and so far so good. We’ve got good but elitist supernatural guys vs. bad but more egalitarian supernatural guys. We also know that it was someone in the supernatural org (it has a name but the name is so stupid I can’t spell it) that betrayed our protag and stole her memories and they’re still around and teamed up with the evil Grafters. Intrigue?? Don’t know who to trust???? Love it.

For some reason everyone is either old, or hot, or so inhuman it’s viscerally horrifying. Love this touch. Eleanor from the Good Place taught us that it’s totally free to imagine everyone in a story as super hot. And it is. So they’re all super hot. Love it. Good commitment, Daniel.

But then we get to Act three. So, this was a big swing on ol Danny’s part because a lot of the effect of this had to do with carrying out mystery. We’d built a lot of tension on the suspense Who Betrayed Myfanwy. So obviously it’s really important for me to be surprised or at least satisfied with who this is. (As an aside, I would have been ok with guessing correctly, I definitely don’t subscribe to surprise trumping cohesive plot). Ok. With that on paper... like... holy shit. What a stupid “reveal.”

So in part 1, like the first scene we get of old Myfanwy’s letters giving us context, she says that her apartment at work was inherited from a dude Conrad something that got promoted. And then she says it’s super badly decorated, and later we see it and this shit is straight out of Austin Powers, mirror over a round bed, The Whole Shebang. But she also says that this guy who otherwise is supposed to be very smooth and charismatic like... asks her about the decor.... every time they interact. Every Time They Interact. The second this was mentioned (WHICH IS AFTER WE KNOW SHE WAS BETRAYED) I'm like “oh ok so this guy bugged her room he’s the villain” and I only wasn’t sure because it was WAY too obvious.

But no. He’s the villain. He has a big reveal where he’s like “AND I BUGGED YOUR ROOM” and I'm like... well... yeah. Of course you did. But here’s the thing tho... Myfanwy’s like... WHOLE ASS JOB is planning covert ops. So... is she good at her job??? IS SHE????

But we also don’t actually show how characters are based on their actions, we are just told how they are. But we will circle back to that in the Gestalt part. That’s honestly the sum of my rant about the plot. It was nothing. It put all its eggs in the basket of the worst most boring reveal of all time. Daniel, I think you might just be boring.

Part 2: Wasted Potential - Everything but Gestalt who gets a special part to themselves.

The big sin of this book might just be too many good ideas. There’s a lot of characters, they all do cool stuff, but we have like 200 pages, so there wasn’t enough time to do anything with all these guys. I got lost about who was who like 80 times because they’re basically all sneaky hot magic guys. One of them smokes and is a soldier and he seems chill.

There’s a vampire and he gets a scene and a long intro that reads more like a wiki page. Like it was interesting but you would have lost NOTHING cutting him as a character except that he was cool. You never ever believe that he was the bad guy because it’s super well established in the Certified Back Story that he could give two shits about the politics of the humans. He’s there bc he’s an adorably young vampire who is very curious so his dad set him up as a powerful government agent as though it was enrolling him in a prep school. Love it, but again, we don’t.... need him around.

There’s a lady who can walk through dreams and I thought she was going to be important based on the fanfare of her introduction but then we forget about her basically entirely.

There’s a whole American wing that we also only see anything interesting about in side story. Basically the world building is really good. Like pretty superb to be honest. But it’s bracketing a story that is nothing so it makes even good characters seems really random. And that bring us to:

Part 3: My Darling, Gestalt. My Type. My Weakness. What a Sad Little Thing You Are (Also misogyny)

Alright... if the rest of this review wasn’t salty enough for you... let the salt begin. Gestalt. So named because of the word meaning larger than the sum of its parts. And so they were destined to be. And so they were most definitely not. So Gestalt’s whole thing is that they are one consciousness with four bodies. They can either control one body at a time and sort of shut the others down or they can control them all at once but that becomes harder if one of them requires more attention than another, like if one is in a fight.

Two twins (men), one fraternal brother, and a sister. If anyone is thinking “uhoh, only one girl, hmm can Daniel handle that? Seems like maybe some Smurfette style misogyny-lite is coming,” you would be wrong. Super wrong. Because it is not misogyny-lite. It’s aggressive Fight-Me-In-A-Perkins-Parking-Lot misogyny. So go fuck yourself, Dan.

Alright, so to number Gestalt’s sins.

1. Scrape off some of that intro mustard.

They’re introduced in the LONGEST fucking passage I’ve ever read telling me that this dude is hard to talk to and weird. Like, I’m in an urban fantasy book already, I'm all set. Also... bitch SHOW ME they’re weird. Like can I see some interactions that give me second hand embarrassment??? No. It is actually never uncomfortable to talk to Gestalt. I only know that because people are super fucking rude about them. But it is never earned. So I don’t feel sympathy when people are like “Oh noooo you have to spend a car ride with Gestalt? Ewwwww sorry.” I’m just like, “What’s your fucking problem? They seem fine.”

2. They’re supposed to be Bad At Planning but when??

Alright so there ARE times they’re bad at planning and we will GET TO THAT. But it’s only post-reveal like... what we are told during a monologue that they were dumb as shit. And that wasn’t even like not being good w/ details like it’s implied they are, it’s literally like doing dumb ass stuff. And it felt more like my bud Dan didn’t have a good handle on why stuff was dumb as rain than Gestalt being silly.

Also.... this is a stupid use of this sort of character. They’re dumb and bad at planning??? THEY’RE A JOINT CONSCIOUSNESS why would you waste that making them “Good at kicking ass.” ugh. Fine.

3. They get sidelined IMMEDIATELY

So a guy named Pumice Stone or Kettle or Lil boy Bad At This or something outs that Gestalt is working with the Grafters because he like.... wasn’t paying attention. It was boring. But anyway so they capture two of the bodies and then stop addressing Gestalt until the end. They have one weird scene where the protagonist like.... freaks them out but ok. Fine. Why is Gestalt so Yelly. Why are so many villains in this book yelly. Ew.

4. The REVEAL MONOLOGUE.

I know this is a long ass review already. But my Feelings Must be Heard. So in the end when Conrad surprises no one but “smart” Myfanwy that he was the bad guy, we also get a reveal from the surviving Gestalt bodies that:

a. There’s an incest baby

b. They’re afraid of death

c. They’re so phenomenally stupid I have lost all interest in them

So... this is where the misogyny comes in. I’ll note here that the only time we interact w/ Eliza, the special girl body, is when she takes a carried to Hogwarts the super secret magic school with Myfanwy and she doesn’t do anything except we get the internal note that she’s like... gained weight. This is the misogyny-lite we expect. (And no, Dan, you don't get any points bc a female character is the only pleased she got pudgy bc YOU wrote the female character so we’re all set there.)

And then we discover that the weird blonde (lol oh yeah they’re all hot blondes) baby that Conrad “Evil Austin Powers” British-Last-Name has with his weird wife is actually a Gestalt body that Eliza had after she boned down with her other body who is genetically a brother and consciously herself.

K. Ok. I have. Ok. Alright. Daniel. Ok.

SUBPART A: My Feelings about Gestalt: Oh Eliza, my darling, my dear, would that I could bring you Justice

So after Eliza is shot dead one of the interchangeable boy bodies of Gestalt yells at Myfanwy about how terrible that is bc it was the only body who could bear children so now THE HORROR they’ll die.

For god’s fucking sake Daniel O’Malley. What the fuck is your goddamn problem. You LITERALLY wrote a Smurfette Syndrome character who is only important because she can have babies. She is literally just there to be a baby-box. What the fuck. Get fucking wrecked. Thank GOD Starz cut your program and fuck the Aurealis Awards for giving you an award for this fucking book. But they’re a sci-fi award so this is probably super progressive for them. I was pleasantly annoyed by the basic nature of this book until this part. Now I am just done with your content. This was more overtly sexist that Supernatural. So... real swing and a miss.

ANYWAY FORTUNATELY this opens a whole new can of worms that I get to ruthlessly mock certified Basic Bitch Daniel O’Malley for.

SubPart 2: Gestalt Raises Interesting Philosophical Questions Daniel Isn’t Smart Enough to Address

So, remember, I would have cut this dude more slack if he didn’t do that to Eliza. Gestalt, to be honest, this whole review is dedicated to what you Could Have Been.

Interesting Questions or Comments We Could Have Asked:

Does having a baby being one of five of your bodies affect your consciousness? That thing doesn’t have object permanence? Is there like an intellectual cost to having another baby body? No, we don’t care. I think we just had there be a baby bc “Weird sister-sex” was as interesting as Daniel could get. Side Note: The obvious question of “lol haha lol is it incest or mAsTurBation is not going to be addressed here bc it is literally too boring to consider)

Does having a body who textually is said to have post-partum depression affect your joint consciousness? If not, why bring it up?? Bc she has “weird lady disease” is that why???

Are they....afraid of death????? Why didn’t you ever bring this up? Why have they showed only excitement at the prospect of very dangerous fights up to this point? Why are all four bodies in the field.

WHY ARE ALL FOUR BODIES IN THE FIELD. Ok so here is one of those points that is definitely stupid but stupid in a dumb as dirt way. If you were afraid to lose your baby-box body, why would you send her into battle?

Why didn’t they freeze a bunch of her eggs? In fact, why did she bear it at all? Why put your one female body that you only want for babies through that sort of danger? Canonically they all get paid an absurd amount and Gestalt is paid for each body, they can afford a surrogate.

Why let a weird dude who is at best contemptuous of you raise your baby body? Why wouldn’t you want to do that? Doesn’t that give him a huge amount of leverage over you?

Is the quality fo Gestalt’s form destined to decline if genetically they can only make more bodies by full genetic sibling offspring? Does that scare them? Again... does their physical brain affect their consciousness?

If so... maybe that would be a good reason for them to want to join up with the Grafters who are way ahead in genetic research and engineering.

ANYWAY Gestalt is sexist as shit and boring as hell and had SO MUCH WEIRD POTENTIAL.

In summary: It was definitely fun but Fuck you, Daniel O’Malley

#the rook #Daniel O'Malley #Myfanwy Thomas #Gestalt #Book review #the rook starz

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

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I took 3 painkillers today, and I still feel the burn from yesterday and earlier this morning from when I was listening to Reba.

Feels like a crow, who I thought meant restart, fresh new beginnings was gonna be my friend, my partner, cause she's seen death like me before.

But no, love.

Her brutal past steals creeps up on her and she was looking for somebody still dead.

I'm alive, but sometimes my legs don't wanna get out of bed and live. And not even a mere country song can help me get out of bed and face seeing my grandmother if I was to go back to her hometown today. Seeing her makes me shake, my shadows from the past, makes me weak. I wish I was dead, so I didn't have to feel any pain anymore.

Or want to feel a high, that causes me pain and grief later. I worry I might take the last shipment of morphine they gave my grandmother right before she passed and take a droplet of it myself.

Knowing that death could happen if I went too close. Over the edge. Over the bottom of what they recommended her to go to sleep. Numb her down, so she didn't have to feel anything as the cancer ate her alive. I've never been in pain like that and I never want to fall in love again.

If it makes me this mad, this angry, this crazy, this selfish, this careless, this delusional person who believes every single thing, big or small, that that person says to me while they try to use me for sex, have their way with telling me how I should spend my life, my time, throw away my hard earned money for them to survive off of me and I should take them away from their struggles and treat them like a grown woman who lives like a child. Doesn't wanna clean up after themselves, doesn't want kids, doesn't have a job, doesn't want a job, wants to just be a stay at home bitch, who gets to sleep all day, play video games and not do shit. take your selfish ass someplace else cause i will not mourn over someone who isn't worthy. But worries me because you remind me wayyyyy tooo much of how my ex still sounded as she talked to me about how it was to be traumatized and wanted someone to take take care of them like a mom. I'm not your mom and I'm not your dad. I wouldn't dare hurt another child physically or emotionally or even mentally cause I TOLD YOU I KNOW HOW THAT FEEEEELLLLSSSS

WHY WOULD I DO THE SAME THING TO YOU THAT I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS SCARED ABOUT YOU DOING TO ME.

YOU NEGLECTED ME WITHOUT EVER TRUSTING THAT I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU THE SAME WAY YOUR FAMILY HAD DONE YOU WRONG

AND I DIDN'T TRUST THAT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF ME THE SAME WAY I USED TO LAY DOWN IN JAY'S LAP.

But I never wanted you to push me off the way that she did. But you did it anyway.

You hurt me by pushing me away the exact same way that she did to me and it broke me.

You hit me right in the same spot. I never expected you to do that. Cause you were wayyy nicer to me. We talked all day together and you even stayed on the phone with me during video chat all night, even as we fell asleep. I've never been so happy to have seen such dedication to be so emotionally intimate with someone and I was even reconsidering pushing my 1 yr of dating requirement before moving in, to maybe a month or 6 days. Cause I wondered, was I tripping because I was gay or am I the person doing something wrong I know I should rethink about

Cause you was like riding a motorcycle. Your head wasn't all the way straight or safe to say, but you sure as hell felt safe enough to leave my stuff with at home for a while. I don't know why it happened like that so easily but it was cause your door was open. And you were emotionally available without any catches. I didn't have to suck your dick. I didn't know if you had q gun or still did drugs, you told me everything straight up. You even asked all my questions when I was sure that yo ass was scamming me because there's no way in hell somebody would leave their home to come live with me and stay my girlfriend and not just stay, but cook for me sometimes, take care of me if I was emotionally distraught from work, you were here and that's what made it great. I talk to you whenever and not be judged for asking you hey hru or feel isolated like Jay made me feel because they always made me feel bad by being rude, mean, nasty disrespectful just for asking them "hey hru" when they were at work. And Mike was silly, when I mentioned going to some beach park that we could go to, he said you know I'm not gonna have as much free time, so I'm gonna be busy alot more." Like he was basically trying to let me down with a no, like damn I can't plan a day trip for us to go to one weekend? And you're so called on date 2 and you wanna date me seriously?

I hate that I miss Athena. But I miss the titanic saving me. I miss all the free time, texting, talking, and calling. The movie nights, the bdsm, the sex, the rough play, the birthday sex. The part where we say I love you and we have beautiful romantic sex together cause I never got it yet even as a virgin and with my 1st actual boyfriend or my actual 1st girlfriend, but 2nd relationship.

Nobody's

Nobody 's Giving Me real love, real show of effort, real time, quality time, and I'm sick of crying over low effort bitches who act like they can't afford to care about the person their planning to fall in love with and invest their time into long term. I'm tired of fake bitches who give me what I ask for and look for, really having Me attach to them. Then leave me hanging.

Like that bitch basically ghosted me and I can't stand to understand why was it so easy for me to fall for it and invest my heart into her just so I could come back down to reality for my head to say "I told you so"

Ughhh fuck my life. And fuck you Jay,Ayunna, Athena Charles, Terrell, Tatyana, and Mike.

I hate you all.

Thanks for making me nuts. Thanks for making me numb, love bombing me, and leaving me dry.

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ijiness · 4 years

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YashaHime Episode 5 Iji Ramble

What I thought was just going to be a “Queen Kags got shoved into Kikyou’s shadow :|” two para turned into a bit of a ramble so.. incoherent rambling under cut.

Will Kagome ever not have her worth be directly tied into the fact she’s a reincarnation of a GREAT PRIESTESS KIKYO? How about, I don’t know, Moroha was born from the great priestess who traveled through time, tamed the wild InuYasha, destroyed the Shikon no Tama and saved the world versus being likely corrupted by it like ANOTHER PRIESTESS WE KNOW? Am I the only one who noticed this?

Why are our kids being stepped over for Taisho and Kikyou as far as recognition? Wat? WAT?

And the rouge of Moroha’s. I don’t remember that being a thing in the Manga, but I thought InuYasha gave that rouge to Kikyou in the Anime series as a show of affection to her, saying it was one of the last remnants of what he had of his mother, Izayoi. And I remember Naraku showing that he had the rouge and crushing it in his hand as InuYasha to drive home his betrayal to her.

I’m HOPING if it was restored that it was by Kaede and she gave it to Moroha after InuYasha and Kagome poofed for reasons still strangely unexplained because she knew it had been InuYasha’s, which is still a little odd that she’d give a gift he gave her mother’s essential rival as a show of devotion, but it’d be even more strange, imho, for InuYasha to have either given it to Kagome or Moroha after he’d given it to Kikyou.

“Here you go, Kagome, Love of my life, bringer of my peace, completion of my world - Here is rouge that is the last remaining remnant of my human mother that I cherished so much I was nearly drowned over if you hadn’t stopped me from falling into the trap of her image.” “It looks used?” “Yeah, that’s probably from when I gave this to Kikyou, love of my life, bringer of my peace, completion of my world who I nearly tortured you with the thoughts that I would abandon you for her at the end of our journey and let her drag me to hell because of residual feelings for her and personal guilt. Just ignore those :)”

And, again, I’m probably thinking too much here but I’m so confused as to why Kags who fought so hard to be known in her own right and to be considered powerful outside of Kikyou’s shadow is nowhere being given her dues. Moroha’s blood having more taste of Taisho’s and the rouge being able to make her taste moreso like it? When her dad’s, his son didn’t taste as good or as alike to him? Is Kagome’s blood doing that? How does that even work? I know it’s magic and demons and all fantasy but this basic stuff MAKES NO SENSE!? HOW DOES BLOOD TASTE SKIP GENERATIONS? TELL ME SUNRISE, EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

Setsuna and Towa are the same as they always have been to me. I think even if I was a SessRin shipper I’d be pretty meh about these two. Towa, the fighting fiend, wanting to just apologize to a literal monster who sucks out the bones of living men and animals alike? Just apologize and move on? What? Even Kagome didn’t think like that and she was pretty pacifistic. Setsuna is everything about Sesshoumaru I didn’t enjoy so that’s a no brainer that I’m waiting for their scenes to be over so we can get on with the plot. ‘I’m not so weak I need to uproot my life to get the ability to sleep back. Leave me alone, annoying sister who came to the warring states era to essentially just help me with that one task.’

Moroha’s ingenuity still gets me and has me grin. The purification salt in her mouth for the demon was pretty awesome as far as smarts. Would like to know what her debt is about. Her silliness gets ramped up a little too much sometimes. I think they want her to fill too many roles to keep the trio interesting; smart and expositiony, aggressive and foolhardy, and a hint comic relief. Sometimes it works, but this episode I was kind of meh for me. She felt a little flat until the fight, but they all kind of did so I think maybe that was just an issue with an episode for me?

Hearing her belt out InuYasha’s attacks was total fanservice and I was there for it, tbh.

I hadn’t intended this to be a full blown rant about the episode, especially given that for all of the balls it rolled into motion it didn’t really feel like a lot at any given point. It moved at a breakneck pace, like they all have, as if they’re playing catch up to something and yet every episode really doesn’t have -that- much happen to it. It all gets crammed into the second half and is done quickly. I don’t remember the episodes of IY feeling like this, but maybe that’s just nostalgia goggles. I remember thinking as I was watching “This kind of a fight, if it’s part of such a big aspect of the coming plot, feels like it should have had an episode or two of build up and a few touch and goes with the enemy to signal its significance to the over arching plot.” Kind of like how some of Naraku’s minions would have an episode or three arc of a grand scheme that moved the team closer to their end goal or a revelation before being shooed off or how a major development/fight between Sesshoumaru and InuYasha would have an episode or two building up to them running into each other.

InuYasha has always beaten you over the head with concepts but you could still get completely blindsided by something or they’d say JUST ENOUGH to get you interested or curious. Here, stuff that seems important isn’t given much time or energy narratively, stuff that doesn’t seem important is given a bunch of attention (Setsuna learning how to play violin really had to happen in 3 days? She couldn’t have had that been a developmental thing throughout and something to grow with?) and we’re getting bombarded with exposition about things but nobody seems to be talking about anything... interesting?

I can see them not necessarily ‘dancing around’ the subject of the inu tachi, if they all know why they’re gone and they’ve been gone for years then they wouldn’t be talking about it because it’s common knowledge; that’s natural. Narratively for the audience, though.. Why would that be obvious not to talk about but Moroha’s blood and lineage need attention? That’s where the logic breaks me. We already know Moroha is a 1/3 demon. We know who her parents are (We can’t go long anymore without someone comparing her to one of them anymore, which is getting old and repetitive.). They know who her parents are. Why do we need to spend a half of an episode of Myoga expositing about -who- her family line is and less about their being missing? Myoga talking about how she tastes better than her father, but no mention of ‘I miss him’ or ‘Poor Lord InuYasha, I wish I knew where he was’ or ‘He was gone from us too soon, Lady Moroha. You would have loved him.’ or anything like he used to go on about Taisho to his sons? He clearly was endeared enough to either InuYasha or Moroha to be hanging with her to the point he didn’t meet up with Setsuna to determine she was Sesshoumaru’s kid before now.

The same thing goes for how Kohaku and Miroku and Sango’s boy (I can not remember his name for the life of me) Didn’t know about Sesshoumaru and his daughters or that Setsuna was related to him and, for all intents and purposes, Rin - who Kohaku had traveled with for some time? The lack of details or discussion around these things is feeling more contrived than natural at this point seeing as they clearly remember these people, they’ve interacted with them as adults (Setsuna’s memory of Miroku now confirmed) so the memory wipe thing seems... odd. Unless it’s a situation where they’re all enchanted to remember their existence but placated as to not to go seeking them out. Or maybe they searched and didn’t find anything but again.. Miroku talking to Setsuna and her not knowing who he was despite growing up in the same village they settled down in? Was that just an illusion? What is up with this timeline?

I kind of hope we’re not going to get our fix of the old group through sequences like Kohaku and Sango’s son where each character hits a milestone or a type of demon and someone who knew the original group gives a “Oh, when your Mom/Dad fought that during their journey they learned/defeated it by doing this!” InuYasha got it a few times, but often that was because he was having to learn a new skill via Tetsusaiga, or Kagome needing to learn to do something Kikyou once did, but it was always handled with an almost sense of reverence and feeling of a new challenge, not so much ‘Here’s a clip that the audience would remember that this character will likely shrug off or seem weird learning because they don’t really care about people they don’t remember (All three) or even like (Setsuna).’

Final note: Where are the damned twins? I hope they have a boy crazy streak. Miroku was cringe at times with his groping but the girls being the flirty ones would be an adorable change of pace.

#Kagome #YashaHime spoilers #InuYasha #miroku #Sango #Towa #Setsuna #Moroha #Myoga

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