#i love writing fucked up men

[gods-graveyard]

Kill your darlings?? I Cryogenically freeze mine to be ressurected when the world needs them most.

#writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #i love writing fucked up men #writing #fanfiction writer #fanfic #hp fanfcition #hp fanfic #harry potter fanfiction

[bizarrelittlemew]

top/bottom discourse and dom/sub truthers this and that, none of that can touch me because i headcanon them as vers and switch and whatever is best for the bit and therefore always win. look at all the beauty in the world

#all these middle-aged men deserve a good railing and to rail someone good and i will not get in the way of that #in fact i will encourage it because i love them. love reading and writing them fuck in all the different ways keep it up everyone love you #also begging some people to learn the differences between top/bottom/vers and dom/sub/switch #one day i will write them as sides and no one can stop me #📓🐭

[voxpraxis]

sorry but i’m tired of books/media with softcore trans guy protags who are wimpy and anxious and never stop thinking about how trans they are and have a flowery little romance with a guy who calls them cute. like that’s all good and fine but where are my trans guy protags who are straight up gross. evil. covered in dirt and blood all the time. give me a trans guy character who spits and kills people and fucks to the death and doesn’t give a shit about shit PLEASE i am begging you

#write trans men indistinguishably from cis men you cowards for the love of god #for the record i am not saying soft flowery trans guy characters are bad #it’s just that EVERY media representation of a trans guy that i’ve ever come across has been like that #no offence but i would rather read a book about a trans guy who just straight up murders children for fun #than have to read one more book about a trans guy who stresses out over passing in high school #fucking g o d #AND WRITE ADULT TRANS MEN FOR FUCKS SAKE #ENOUGH WITH EVERY TRANS GUY CHARACTER BEING 17 #WHAT THE HELL #anyway lmao #op #trans #transgender #trans man #trans guy #ftm #books #reading #lgbtq #lgbt #rant #1k #2k

[merakiui]

Your Yan Idia and his magical onahole is so amazing its so gooddd!!! But what if the magical onahole but with Azul and the tweels???

Zuzu using it as a comfort toy and fucking its precious hole with his rather big but tentacle-like octopus cock. Trying to sit still when mysterious phantom suckers are sucking on their puffy slit. trying not to cum when long slender fingers work your hole open, rubbing up and down so gently

OR OR!! Tweels know that its connected to their darling and fuck the onahole's holes so roughly. They do it when the reader is asleep and jolting them awake once two large mercocks were shoved into their pretty tight holes, in class when they're in a middle of a lesson or in random places.

Azul definitely uses it as a comfort toy, but he also uses it for practice! He does everything to the onahole that he wishes to do to you. He fucks into it in his octo-mer form just to work on being more confident in that form so that when (and if) he does get to fuck you with his tentacles he won't feel so insecure. He also wants to be perfectly skilled when he eats you out or scissors you open; he dreads looking so foolishly inexperienced when he actually gets to sleep with you, so he'll practice quite often. And of course he always, always cums lots inside. <3 he could go many rounds if he's particularly pent-up (he hate-fucks the onahole a lot because he's a jealous tako), so if he chooses to use it on a day or night when you're with friends... good luck. :)

Slimy eels... >:( they know exactly what they're doing when they fit both of their cocks inside just to see how much of them you can take at once. They definitely fight over the onahole sometimes, wrestling each other for first use with mean scowls and snapping jaws. Floyd doesn't want to fuck Jade's cum back inside you. He wants his chance to fill you up first, not settle for sloppy seconds!! And Jade doesn't want to share at this moment because he found a particularly phallic-shaped mushroom and wants to see how well you'll take it (which is an immediate no-go for Floyd; he is not fucking an onahole that's been fucked with a mushroom). Sometimes Jade just wants to drag things out and tease you so slowly, but Floyd is impatient and he wants to be inside you the minute he's freed his cock from the confines of his boxers. And there's only one onahole, so they're forced to either compromise and share or fight over it like starved eels.

The twins work together very well when they aren't actively strangling the other near death for use of the onahole. When they're functioning on the same horny brain cell, they actually plan some very devious schemes. Jade likes to talk with you, whether over tea or in the botanical gardens or even during a walk through campus, while Floyd's off with the onahole, slamming it onto his cock just so Jade can watch the breath get knocked out of your little lungs. He loves to see you squirm and if you let him (you will; peer pressure is so fun and Jade does it best) he'll have you bent over so he can see how your hole gapes and clenches around an invisible force (Floyd's dick). He'll force his way inside and the two of them fuck you sore and dumb.

Jade likes to use the onahole when you're spending time with a friend or if you're on a date. He may not seem it, but he has a nasty jealous streak. He's only willing to share you with Floyd, so the fact that his dearest darling would even think to spend time with others when he and Floyd are the best fits for you... You really like to hurt his poor heart. :( it's only fair he absolutely ruins your chances with anyone else, teasing you all throughout your date before finally, finally bottoming out just when you think anything special might happen on your date. After all, why settle for someone who is better off becoming fish food? Obviously Jade and Floyd are the ones meant for you; the way you squeeze Jade's dick so tightly indicates that you agree, even if not yet verbally.

#meraki thirsts #yandere twst #n/sfw #i will admit the trio were the first ones i thought of while writing the response to onahole idia... ;;;;; #actually this works so well for shy scummy incel azul #he breeds you in secret and you have no idea :) #or the twins pressuring you to get pregnant because they want children and their parents want it too #but when you tell them no they act like they understand and the matter is never spoken about again #they turn to the onahole determined to fuck it so many times you'll eventually be knocked up #and then when you come to them pregnant they can act like you cheated on them #but don't worry!! they still love you <3 just promise you'll marry them #and in nine months you'll see it was all a big misunderstanding because what a wonderful surprise #you were actually pregnant with their fry all along :D #orz they are the worst men aaaaaa i need octavinelle carnally T_T

[chr0n1c-ag0ny]

Kunidazai reunion sparking them finally, actually, truly getting together (cause they're idiots who have essentially been and old married couple for years and were the last to notice)? I think yes.

kunikida offering his apartment to Dazai, as his partners was in no shape to be lived in, after all the time that had passed with no upkeep and the time it spent in police custody, being milled through for any potential evidence. there was no way he could let him go back to it, not now, not tonight. Kunikida needs him close tonight.

Dazai takes him up on his offer. he doesn't want to be alone. he won't admit it, but he can't be alone, he doesn't know what it would do to him, what he would do to himself if he was left unattended. so he gratefully, while making jabs and cracking jokes at his partner, follows him home.

their night proceeds as normal, as it had for years of Dazai crashing with him. Kunikida cooks while Dazai sits up on his counter, rambling on and on about anything he can think of. Kunikida never realized how much he missed Dazai's voice until the relief of not cooking in silence hit him.

when they eat Dazai drags his partner to sit on the couch, even though Kunikida hates eating on the couch, knowing he would make an exception for him, just for tonight. they sit too close to just be friends, coworkers, partners even. their arms touch, their knees lean into one another.

when Dazai's finished with his dinner he lays a head in Kunikida's lap, turning on the TV, flipping through all of his partners recorded media until he finds the show they had been watch together, every episode that aired since he was arrested is recorded and unwatched. with blurry eyes he hits play. Kunikida's hand is in his hair and it doesn't leave.

they don't talk, they don't have to, they've talked enough. for now they just want to sit and feel each other's touch and hear each other's breathing. it's all they need.

its nearly 3 in the morning when Dazai finally starts to doze, he'd curled up into a ball, halfway in Kunikida's lap at that point, holding onto one of his partner's hands. Kunikida knows he should get them both to bed, he should offer Dazai the room and take the couch, that he should have the man some space after all he'd been through. but he aches at the thought of leaving his side, at being separated again.

but he doesn't even have to say anything, should have known he never had to, Dazai's always been sharp as a tack, his intuition, almost terrifyingly, even sharper.

His partner turned lazily in his arms, looking up at him with tired but knowing eyes. let's go to bed, they say. you don't have to go, you can stay, they assure. please don't go, they beg.

Kunikida breathes a long, heavy, sigh of relief.

"ok," he answers, before finally getting up after hours laid up on the couch, watching as Dazai continues to doze.

his heart aches with feverish heat. he'd missed him so much he had begun to go mad, had gone mad really, and now his partner was back, he was back and alive and mostly well, and now he was so relieved it ached in its own right.

he went about making up his bed for two, for Dazai, knowing he needed enough pillows and blankets for half a dozen people, but kept stopping to look over the back of the couch to make sure he was still there, still with him, that he hadn't been taken away again. by the time he's done he's probably crossed his apartment two to three dozen times, from his room to the couch again and again, before he's finally decided the room was good enough, there were enough blankets for Dazai to cover himself with and pillows to hide in.

when he goes to Dazai this time around, he kneels in front of him, carding a hand through his hair, tracing a thumb over his brow, to his nose, and then his cheek. his partner's eyes flutter open, a smile graces his lips.

"come on," he whispers, worried too loud a voice would shatter the delicate air of safety and comfort around them, "time for bed."

Dazai hums, getting up with a stretch and a yawn, much like a cat, before gingerly hopping off the couch and into Kunikida's arms, a false smile and air of cheekiness to him, hiding the ache Kunikida knew all too well resided in his partner's heart as much as it did his own, if not more. he holds him for a moment, savoring the feeling of him in his arms, before taking his hand and leading him to their room.

Dazai knows the drill. he goes to the other man's dresser and picks out a pair of his own sweatpants, ones he kept here for nights like these, and as per usual, one of Kunikida's shirts, gliding across the room, out into the hall, and into the bathroom.

Kunikida crawls into bed, feeling like he's been hit by a bus by the days events, and ends up half asleep by the time he feels Dazai crawling into bed next to him.

he expects to see bandages peeking from the borrowed nightshirt, to watch Dazai shield himself from the world, from his partner's touch, with a swarm of blankets, for Dazai to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for him to fall asleep first.

but tonight's different, so different.

Dazai's skin is bare where the shirt doesn't cover, his scars on display, each and every one of them, the burns, the cuts, the bullet wounds, the ones Kunikida has never one been able to decipher the story of. they're all bared to him, with no visible hesitation on Dazai's end.

when his partner climbs into bed he neglects the pile of blankets laid out for him, the pillows too. instead he lifts the comforter that's draped over the entirety of the bed, Kunikida included, sliding beneath it like it's natural to him, like he'd done it every night for months, years even.

he looks at Kunikida for a moment, silently asking for permission, which Kunikida cannot give fast enough, and then Dazai's in his arms, his own wrapped around his neck, nothing between them but the clothes on their backs.

Dazai pulls away, just a bit, Kunikida almost cries out, almost pulls him back in, but knows better. he lets dazai go, but he never leaves. he's moved just far back enough so they could both look each other in the face.

"I missed you," he spoke softly, his hands shifting to hold the blonde's face.

"I missed you too,"

there's a moment of silence.

"I love you." the words are hesitant, skittish even, like he's unsure of how Kunikida would take it.

"I love you too," he replies without a second thought. he loves his partner, he loves him, more than he knows what to do with, so much it drives him mad and makes him ache.

Dazai nods. he's thinking, Kunikida can see it on his face, his mind is going a million miles a second. worry flashes on Dazai's face, and Kunikida panics, goes to pull away, goes to give Dazai space, even if his own skin burns at the thought of parting with Dazai's.

but Dazai doesn't let him, he clings to him, "Don't go, please don't go, please," he begs.

his voice is desperate, so Kunikida doesn't. he watches his partners face twist and turn, watches as fear spreads across his brow and tears gather in his eyes, and he doesn't know what to do because this has never happened.

but than Dazai leans in, slowly, tugging Kunikida closer so they can meet in the middle. Kunikida feels his partners lips on his. he kisses him back. he can't decide if that was a foolish decision or not. It's soft, softer than either of them knew they were capable of, it's gentle and earnest and good.

Dazai stops after a moment, lingers in Kunikida's space before looking him in the eye once more, he doesn't speak, they don't need to. Dazai looks at him, tears running down his face, but he's smiling, he's ok. his thumbs wipe away tears Kunikida hadn't realized he'd shed. they're ok.

"I love you," Dazai mutter's again, speaking again before the other man can answer "Kunikida?"

"yes, Dazai?"

"don't go."

"I won't."

"promise?"

"I promise." its a foolish thing to say, but Dazai needs to hear it, hell, he needs to hear it, "I'm not going anywhere, so long as you promise me the same."

he hesitates, his eyes avoid Kunikida's for a moment, before returning from their shared gaze, "I'll try, I promise, I'll really try this time"

Kunikida nods, slowly moving to kiss Dazai's forehead, the brunette leans into it.

"I know you will," he whispers into Dazai's skin, "and I'll always be here when it's too hard to manage on your own."

there's silence again, but it doesn't feel wrong or heavy, its soft and warm and it feels right.

"I love you," Kunikida finally returns.

there's more silence, Dazai just looks at him, just watches, fingers playing with Kunikida's hair and drifting over his face until something clicks into place in the other man's mind, something nobody but Dazai could ever understand.

he leans in once more to kiss his cheek before he settles against Kunikida's chest, letting out a pleased huff as he curls himself into a ball, "goodnight," he muttered, almost instantly going still with sleep.

"goodnight," Kunikida replied, knowing Dazai wasn't going to hear him, pressing his own goodnight kiss to the top of Dazai's head before burying his face in the other man's hair (Dazai doesn't smell like his shampoo anymore. it makes something in him cringe. he tries and fails to ignore it).

it takes Kunikida a while to fall asleep, he's too busy running the night over and over and over again in his mind. he holds Dazai close and lets his fingers trace over scars, feeling over his too-thin frame, feeling each bone beneath his skin. there's so many thoughts rushing through his mind, to many fears, worries, anxieties, what ifs. what if I hurt him? what if I break him? what if I ruin this?

his thoughts are only stopped when Dazai gently nudges his head into his jaw, hands pulling Kunikida's off of him, holding them gently in his own (he should have known sleep wouldn't come that easy to Dazai).

he takes a deep breath, steadying himself and his mind, his partner's hands squeeze his gently, good, they seem to say, and sleep finally starts to pull at him once more.

he lets it happen, let's his eyes close and his mind go blank, knowing Dazai is safe, he's safe in his arms, he won't be taken away again. he sleeps knowing Dazai loves him, that he kissed him, that tomorrow they'll wake up like this, and maybe, just fucking maybe they can finally have this one happy ending.

#I love when two emotionally constipated men find ways to be indirectly vulnerable and soft with one another. it matters so much to me. #they don't know how to talk about it or what they mean to one another or what they need from the other but they make it work #but after so long of dancing around each other only to be ripped apart for so long something just gives way and for once its in their favor #I hc that Dazai can be quite graceful in a ghostly and/or feline sort of way when he wants to be. he hops to his toes instead of standing- #glides instead of walking. stares into your soul with these big old eyes instead of just look. so thats just sprinkled in here. #on another note. these men are idiots. I said getting together but for christ sake they've been together for years they just never noticed. #I cringed at their stupidity multiple times while writing this. #dazai is scared of loving kunikida. he's scared his love will damn the man he loves. he's scared he'll leave too #but he can only run from his feelings so long #kunikida is scared to love dazai. he's scared he will find a way to break him. that he won't be careful enough. that he'll screw it all up. #they're so fucking messy and I love them your honor #I have so much to say about them #kunikida bsd #kunikida doppo #bsd kunikida #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai bsd #kunikidazai #kunidazai #if you see typo's no you don't

[iliektehhaxs]

NSFW Alphabet - Barnabas Tharmr Edition

Pairing: Barnabas Tharmr/Reader Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors DNI Author's note: Took me a while to get his manner of speech right, but I think I nailed it in the end. Warning for some more dark romance themes in this one, otherwise enjoy!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s clingy, preferring to lay in bed alongside you, indulging himself in your presence. Afterwards he’ll have one of the maids run a bath for the two of you, but until then you’re not leaving the bed for anything. Whatever you need it can wait, right now Barnabas needs you by his side and nothing else.

Stubborn as anything, he pins you to the bed. “And where exactly do you think you’re going?” He asks, as if you leaving his embrace is a betrayal. You don’t get a chance to explain yourself, silenced by his lips against yours. Sweet as they are, you pull away with a laugh, pressing your fingers to his chest. “I only wish for some water, is that too much to ask?” He buries his head in your neck, nibbling at the vast expanse. “Yes, it is.” 

“It���s only a short walk away!” You laugh.

He lays his head between your chest, peeking up at you with pale blue eyes. “Far longer than I could stand to be separated from you.” An arm snakes its way to your back, pulling you ever closer. “I will summon one of the handmaidens, but until then you will stay here, with me.”

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

If you ask him to choose he will look at you like you’ve grown feathers and a tail. What do you mean favorite? He loves everything about you, he’s not so simple to prioritize one thing above another.

He’d probably say his hands, because he gets a lot done with them. The same hands he uses to cut down foes is the same ones he uses to make you cum.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s coming inside of you, no questions asked. Don’t try to argue with him either, he’ll just fuck you until you’re too stupid to say no. Afterwards he’ll watch it drip out of you fascinated, might even finger it back inside.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Enjoys the idea of having you sat on his cock during especially boring meetings, your moans forcing the other council members to stop and take pause at your blissful expressions, spread open in a way only he could provide.

Of course he’s far too possessive to let such a thing happen, but a man can dream.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Has experience with bedding women for the sake of pleasure, but you’re the first woman that has caught his eye in a more profound way, made a dent in his bedsheets. It’s the first time he’s felt genuine love, and it took him a while to understand those emotions.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary or lotus position, close third would be cowgirl. Really anything that lets him hold you close.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Very serious, do not try anything funny. Any attempts will be met with an ache that persists for days.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Does the bare minimum in terms of shaving, but if you ever mention it he’s making it a regular habit. He’d do anything for you as long as you asked him. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Initially he struggled with his emotions, didn’t quite understand why his heart picked up its pace when he looked at you or why your smile could lift him from the foulest of moods. He didn’t have a name for it, but he knew that he needed you more than he needed to breathe. When he finally understood that this yearning for you was love, he was quick to express that.

The power you have over him is something so grand, so tangible he would kiss the very ground you walk on if it pleased you so. Sex with him isn’t an act, it’s devotion; sweet and simple.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

High sex drive, doesn’t jerk off. He wants every single drop of his seed in you and you only. He had left for an excursion beyond Waloed, forced to suffer the words of politicians for hours on end. He shouldn’t have to be here, but they had insisted, wanting an answer from the king himself even if it would be the same as it always had. He had grown antsy in your absence, images of your form haunting him as he pretends to be interested in what they have to say. Days pass and he can feel a nagging in the back of his mind, wanting nothing more than to hold you in his embrace, to taste the sweat against your skin, feel you call out his name in bliss. He lies awake at night missing you, erection pressed against his sleepwear uncomfortably, but makes no move to relieve himself. 

No, he wouldn’t dare, not without you. A week passes, and he is finally returned to his love, your familiar scent putting him at ease the moment he steps into your shared bedchambers. He can never tire of this, of how you so easily bring him at peace.

You jump into his arms without hesitation, kissing him tenderly. “Welcome back, my lord.” There’s a coy smile on your face, a hand gingerly playing with his hair. “I’ve missed you.” He admires you, a familiarity in your gaze. He is glad to know he was not the only one left wanting. He picks you up unceremoniously, walking to the bed. “As have I, my love. Allow me to show you just how much.”

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Lingerie - Seeing you dressed in the finest of lace is a gift in and of itself, and being able to rip off the wrapping makes that gift even more enjoyable.

Body Worship - You are his queen, expected to be treated as such. 

Mirrors - An extension of body worship, he will watch eagerly as you shake on his lap, a single hand placed at your neck. “Do not turn your eyes away, my beloved. I should have you witness yourself, as I do.”

Choking - Either giving or receiving, depends on what he’s in the mood for that night. Sado-Masochism - Let’s be real here, this is Barnabas we’re talking about. The man lives for battle, both in and out of the bedroom. Treat him rough, he can handle it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom, occasionally the throne room if he’s feeling bold. Also has a tendency to drag you away to the nearest empty room if you’re looking extra desirable that day. It’s not like anyone will complain after all, he is the king.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

A single look from you is enough to get his blood boiling. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything involving bodily fluids, or anything that would permanently scar you. He may be a masochist but he’s not unsanitary, nor is he evil.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

As mentioned before, his only experience with sex prior was whatever woman would occupy his bed when he felt like it. He used to think he had a preference for receiving because that’s all he knew until that point, focused on his own pleasure above all, but you quickly changed his view.

His mouth moves against your pussy enthralled, his eyes dark with lust. You mewl for him, a beautiful sound that stokes a fire inside, brings him closer and closer to completion without a single touch.

You squirm under him, unable to handle his ministrations even if he knows you crave them so. His two hands lock you in place, no room to push away as he devours every last drop of your lust.

It runs over his chin, spills against your plush thighs, and he makes no move to remove himself. He indulges, gorges himself on your taste until he’s satisfied, and returns for seconds greedily.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

On a good day he’ll drag on for hours, teasing you until you cry, on a bad day he’ll fuck you until his fingers bruise your skin and your legs give out. Depends on how annoying his royal advisors are.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Yes, but not too often. He’s aware of his reputation, but he will throw it out the window in a heartbeat if he sees the brand new lingerie set he’s bought you peeking out beneath your dress.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes, without a doubt. 

The cold bite of steel sends a shudder down your spine. Ever so slowly, the flat of the blade moves against your naked chest, to your stomach, and finds its target at the fine line of your panties.

Barnabas watches you mesmerized, how your body reacts to the danger, goosebumps forming as he moves his blade across your skin. You don’t move away from him, even when the blade moves back to line your throat.

“So well behaved,” he whispers, pressing the blade further against your skin. “You would trust me with your very life?”

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “I would.”

You bite your lip when you feel his knee pressed into your pussy, knife still at your throat. 

“And what if my hand were to slip?”

It never would of course. Barnabas is far too experienced to let such a thing happen.

A quick flick of his wrist and your underwear is left in pieces, the blade now lying flat against your mound. His eyes roam across your body, a hint of something sadistic rising when he sees your reaction.

You tremble, forcing yourself to stay still lest the knife truly hurts you. Even as you try your best, he can feel you just barely moving against his knee, still seeking pleasure.

A whimper, shaky hands moving to rest at his chest. “Please, keep going.”

A wicked grin passes across his face. “As you wish.”

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

You can try to beg him to stop, the key word here is “try.” Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t listen.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Assuming this is a modern AU, he’ll entertain a buttplug or a vibrator. If ropes count as toys,  then those too. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Damn near fucking evil. His dick could be throbbing in his pants, ready to make a mess of himself but he will hold back just to draw out your pleasure one more time, just one more time dear— It’s never just one more time.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Grunter, not very loud. Would rather listen to your cries instead.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves to teach you how to defend yourself. He was over the moon when you asked him to hold a sword for the first time, and now you’ve gotten to the point where you can parry a blow. Not only is it an excuse to spend time with you, but he can have the peace of mind to know that if you’re forced to fight, you could handle yourself. 

You would never have to, of course, because he’d never leave your side long enough for anyone to harm you. Any fool bold enough to try would be unrecognizable after the fact, but he’d be a liar if he said the image of a sword in your hand wasn’t arousing.

The both of you stand in the courtyard, not a soul around save for the birds that fly overhead. You hold your sword in a strong grip, despite your exhaustion, while Barnabas has barely broken a sweat. Inexperienced as you are there is a spark in you, one that may yet grow into a wildfire with the right training.

“You have been practicing without me, I can see it in your stance.” He muses, eyeing your weakened body.

To anyone else it may seem a mockery, but you knew better. You raise your sword in front of your body, lips curling into a grin.

“Do you think I’ll be able to defeat you now?”

He shakes his head in amusement. “A Dominant you are not, but I will make a fine swordswoman out of you yet.” (As an added bonus, I also think he would love bringing you the most lavish gifts! Perfumes, jewelry, the softest fabrics straight from the Dhalmekian Republic, he enjoys spoiling you. Anything for his queen.)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

6.1 inches, uncut, slightly curved upwards, veiny. Always hits your gspot without fail.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Less of a sex drive and more like he’s ready to please you if you so wish. You would only have to ask, and sometimes you don’t have to, he can tell. The two of you are sitting in the throne room, side by side as he gives an audience with a member of royalty.

You’ve been eyeing him all day, sneaking a glance every time he speaks. You shouldn’t bother him, he has enough on his plate as sole ruler of Waloed, so instead you let your imagination run amok. Broad shoulders and strong arms, large hands that always know what you need and how you need it. Maybe he’d tease you, or maybe he’d fuck you until his name is the only thing you can scream.

Gods, just thinking about him makes your core ignite. Your focus is broken when the man rises from the floor, leaving the room. Had you been daydreaming that long? Your confusion is further increased when Barnabas motions for his personal guard to leave the room. “I would have a moment to myself,” He waves towards the large oak doors. “See that I’m not interrupted.” Wordlessly they file out, and only when he’s certain no one remains does he turn toward you. “How long have you been left wanting?” Your eyes widen. You try to deny it, but a hand at your chin stops you. “I could feel it, your gaze,” His hand moves lower, tracing against your collarbone, then grabbing your neck as he speaks lowly. “I can see right through you, desperate little thing you are.” He pulls you toward him, leaving your seat and moving into his lap without hesitation. “Tell me what has preoccupied your mind so, what you need.” You shiver, a hand slowly moving up your bare thigh, higher and higher. “You, Barnabas.” Pleased with your answer, those same large hands remove your underwear within seconds. “Then you may have me.”

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Doesn’t sleep, enjoys watching you sleep peacefully. He'll stroke your hair and whisper as sleep claims you. "My beautiful queen, forever and always."

#final fantasy xvi #final fantasy xvi smut #barnabas tharmr #barnabas tharmr x reader #barnabas tharmr smut #ff16 #I love my men a lil fucked up #robo writes

[kqluckity]

how some people can look at Zhongli and Venti's dialogue during this Lantern Rite and interpret it as beefing instead of, you know, flirting truly blows my mind? like it's not just what they're saying, but also the way they're saying it. it's flirting, they're flirting. and even if they aren't flirting, that's obviously an inside joke? look at Venti's face when Zhongli acts like they're strangers, does it look like someone who can't stand the other and isn't willing to play along with the other's dumb idea? please. I don't understand how people can still think they hate each other even tho it's established that they're friends, not only through items lore and their own character stories (I really doubt someone like Zhongli would let a guy he hates forge his sigil, let him destroy his precious vase, let him pour wine on his head, and then yearn for him for 500 years bffr), but also in the first Liyue Archon quest Zhongli talks about "a friend from Mondstadt" who used to bring him wine all the time, and Venti has a "refined gentleman friend from Liyue" he wishes he could spend more time with. a friend he still visits often, so much so that madame Ping commissioned Tubby to make a Mondstadt-inspired house for the teapot with good acoustics so he could play inside with no problem.

#oh i heard about the refined liyuean gentleman who ordered tea instead of wine and is very knowledgeable and cute #well I've heard of a bard that is truly elegant and eloquent and whose rhymes are unmatched anywhere #hope this makes sense also yes this makes no sense because it's 11pm and I can't write and and and #also sorry they are melting my brain fr I've been shipping them since 2021 but never felt like sharing here #but now I am so you better suck it up #those two are literally always talking about each other I don't blame Xiao for being a little bit homophobic during that dinner #he needed a breather because of the embarrassing old men and I respect that #xiao: right in front of my salad? what if I killed myself rn? #<- it's what he should've said anyway. it's what transpired from the way he looked at the Traveler tbh #okay I'll stop talking about them for a bit. probably. maybe. but only on here #I'll talk about them especially irl for a little bit longer probably I love them #OKAY I'M SHUTTING THE FUCK UP NOW #Zhongli #Venti #zhongven #genshin impact #gi tag

[faeriescorpio]

resisted writing my time travel peter maximoff fic for one singular day WIP

A/N: For the purposes of this fic i am ignoring Dark Phoenix because this is based off a really detailed dream i had

When Magneto had joined the X-Men (as coined by Raven) after the events of Apocalypse, Peter had thought “this might be my chance to tell him”. But as the weeks passed, and Erik stayed, Peter’s confidence plummeted. He stopped thinking, “is this the right moment to tell him?” and started thinking “what if he asks why I waited so long to tell him?”. Ororo and Raven both tried to nudge him into action, but their pushes only made him curl up tighter into his metaphorical shell. It didn’t help that Erik signed up to be a teacher, and help out with the children, and Raven must have told Charles something because Peter found his schedule included Erik’s class. He hadn’t even agreed to go to school there. As far as Peter was concerned, his days of school were over. He’s just a grown man living in his mom’s basement, occasionally saving the world. Except now he had a class schedule where his father was his teacher, he had a room of his own at Charles’s mansion, and someone must’ve told his mom because she actually called him to let him know that she was so proud that he was “pursuing further education”.

Great. Just great.

Having Erik as a teacher was surprisingly…. normal. Erik was teaching history, of all things, but Peter held back from cracking any joke relating age to knowledge of history. He was trying to make his dad like him, first. And Erik was a good teacher; he was encouraging, he didn’t lash out, though he rarely gave much more than a tight-lipped smile when anyone answered a question right.

Peter soaked up any time with Erik like a sponge. He didn’t attend the X-Men training, so all Peter had was class and the times after class, during mealtimes that Peter normally would’ve rushed off after cleaning his plate. Instead, Peter found himself even loitering outside Erik’s class during study hours, scuffing the ground with his shoe. If the wooden floor was worn down outside Erik’s door, no one would know it was because of Peter. Except, you know, Charles. And probably Raven. And maybe Hank because Raven told Hank everything. And Ororo. And Jean. And Scott because Jean tells Scott everything. And Kurt because Scott can’t keep his mouth shut. And-

The point was, if Erik had any suspicions about Peter spending a lot of time outside his door, he didn’t let on. He treated Peter almost like any other student, save for more tight-lipped smiles. It was probably because he remembered Peter broke him out of the Pentagon, or something, but the almost unnoticeable special treatment gave Peter hope. Not enough hope to do anything about it, though.

Peter kept loitering around Erik. Raven kept pushing him. Nothing came out of Peter’s mouth.

They were fighting a villain when it all came to a head. It was a dangerous mutant, more powerful than the average mutant, one who had been attacking other mutants in some sort of lashing-out moment, furious at their own differences and taking it out on their people instead of the humans. It wouldn’t have mattered who the mutant was lashing out about, as the X-Men would’ve come to save the day either way. But the mutant was strong, strong enough to take out Scott in a single hit, so Magneto and Raven were even on their side to help take down the villain. Or “A misunderstood, hurting individual,” as the Charles in Peter’s head chides. Not the real Charles, mind you, just Peter’s interpretation of what Charles might say in this moment. God, he must drive Charles up the walls every time the telepath takes a peek inside the speedster’s head.

They were fighting the villain, Scott was down and thus Jean was preoccupied. Ororo was cooking up a storm and Raven was planning something with Hank, but whatever their plan was, it wasn’t happening fast enough. It was essentially Erik and Peter alone against the villain.

“What a duo we make, huh?” Peter tried to say as he dodged the mutant’s blows with ease. He wasn’t really sure what the mutant’s powers were. Super strength, for sure, but there was something else there that made the telepaths useless. 

“Less talking, more taking down the threat,” Erik snapped back, summoning metal to throw at the man with a curl of his fingers. Right. Right right right.

Peter threw a hit at the mutant and then bounced away as the mutant released some sort of force field that would’ve blown him backward if Peter hadn’t been out of range already.

“We’ve got something, just buy us some time!” Raven shouts into the earpiece over comms. What were they even doing before then, if not buying time? Peter wonders sarcastically, but keeps the snark to himself. He lands another two hits on the mutant, but it’s hard to get up close to the villain as Erik is shooting metal from all directions at the mutant.

“Got it!” Raven barks, and the mutant jerks his head in the direction of the blue duo. Peter takes advantage of the distraction to leap forward and land another hit.

“Peter look out!” Erik barks suddenly, and Peter turns to see Raven pointing some sort of mechanical contraption, no doubt built by Hank, at the mutant. Which means, by extension, it was pointed at Peter. He steps backward, alarmed, but he trips over some debris and goes down.

“Are you fucking kidding me-” Peter starts to say, just as the machine blasts a beam that surrounds him. It’s bright, too bright, and he closes ihs eyes against the blinding light as pain consumes him. He lets out a shout, and Erik lunges forward, but Peter is already gone.

#i havent written xmen fics in a hot second rip #cant tell fi my writing needs a brush up becCAUSE i havent written in a hot second #or if its ebcause i like to write Peter's POV in a rambling confusing style #either side its kinda ick but i can you know. go back over this and make some changes #x men #time travel fic #peter maximoff #erik lehnsherr #xmen fanfiction #me when i hate starting fics off already in a situation TM #i need the background. the lore. the summary of the situation at hand. i know some people write action first THEN backstory but i #physically cannot do that. you need a little summary lol #peter 'are you fucking kidding me' maximoff #la lalalalala i love ambiguous villains that only exist for plot #quicksilver #magneto #dadneto

[archerofunspeakablelove]

SpaceDogs was allegedly started because someone was trying to ship adam TOWERS with nigel and everyone played a game of telephone and got confused. don't get me wrong i love spacedogs but ADAM TOWERS AND NIGEL. GUYS!!! THE POTENTIAL

#filed under things i will never write because i have no idea how to #chaotic ramblings #i imagine adam goes to romania to report on the drug circle/gangs and while there he meets this really charming and clearly #slightly deranged man. and he loves slightly deranged men #and they chat and adam's work comes up and nigel is just giggling in his brain #anyways like one day nigel arrives at wherever adam is staying unannounced with several stab wounds in his gut and adam nurses him back to #health in that apartment and the entire time he refrains from asking questions but he's like. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck #and like he had been trying to convince himself that nigel's periods of absence coinciding with certain activity in the underground was jus #coinciding but this was. a bit hard to ignore #if anyone would be interested in reading something like this please do tell me #heu #hannibal extended universe #adam towers #basic instinct 2 #nigel charlie countryman #charlie countryman #hugh dancy #mads mikkelsen

[softestepilogue]

y’all keep saying how y’all hope ed becomes redeemable and like who tf cares he did anything wrong lmao. pushing Lucius overboard? hilarious. stranding the crew? hysterical. chopping off iffy’s toes? comedic af. y’all always so worried about a character being redeemable or morally right and it’s exhausting. that’s why modern books are what they are now. boring and lame af. ed is morally gray. he’s always been morally gray. he don’t like killin but he likes maimin and he has anger issues. and he’s hilarious when he does all of it.

#ed teach #ofmd #our flag means death #for the love of god just have fun #y’all always worried about a character being redeemable so y’all can morally like them #it’s so weird cause they’re fictional #my fave characters are the ones who morally gray #idc what anyone says they are 100% more interesting when written well #if you like ed just like him lol #you don’t need to jump through hoops to like him just do it #idk how y’all managed to turn a comedy show into something so serious but y’all did it #this is tumblr tho so idk why i’m so surprised #this is why modern books are unbearable to read #cause millennials started publishing and are too pc to write interesting characters #also stede is literally trying to be morally gray #tumblr once again just sucking the fun out of everything #y’all are like that one friend who shows up while y’all are having fun and they correct someone to be pc and just always ruins the vibe #also PS i mean morally gray characters that are well written and not the morally gray characters that are white men y’all want to fuck #there is a HUGE difference #op

[fuckmeyer]

Wiggins!) the bizarre thing about the vampire men in the cullen family all seem to be at least subconsciously what Smeyer wants Bella to have but can’t seem to get over her initial vision of what she saw in her drafts or whatever. It’s odd that every single one of the Cullen men are like strongly devoted (but mostly devoid of personality because it’s so Bella centric) but when you compare them to Edward they seem interesting in some ways. Like Narratively we’re supposed to have this threat that Edward is constantly holding back from killer her but I don’t feel like we see that. Conversely, Jasper is constantly the one who is suffering about human smells and is the more vampire-like. But he’s also a glorified lap dog. So it’s like ‘oh he’s a monster but he’ll never hurt me” (things Alice has said out loud. Man even psychics slip up. I swear her powers weren’t so accurate until Smeyer needed an excuse for plot reasons)

Emmett feels like when some women say they like waifish guys because they don’t want to seem like they’re vapid for liking “big dudes with muscles” so of course you pair Emmett with the “shallow blonde”

Carlisle, I swear only exists so Edward has someone to model but I would also argue that he’s proto-Edward before whatever reworking she had to do when writing Twilight for a YA audience and brought him back as a different character.

Yeah a rant

hello again bestie Wiglet! (note to self: learn Photoshop so i can shop Jacob's bad wig onto a pic of Piglet)

this is such an interesting take! thanks for sharing. i totally see what you're saying. in all the Cullen men we see both a blend of softness & devotion *and*, interestingly enough, a patchwork of patriarchal ideas of what a man "should" be. & this idea comes to the forefront with the depiction of the love interests

smeyer wants us to see Edward as the chivalric gentlemen from the Days of Yore. we see this in the opening doors, the cutsey little romance taglines ("you are my life now," "look after my heart; i've left it with you," "so the lion fell in love" etc), the knight saving the damsel in distress, the expensive tokens of his affection, etc.

at the same time, in both Edward & Jacob we see the crude traits of the Patriarchy Dreamboat kinda guy. if i had to sum it up, it's like the guy you see in 80s movies. "bad boy." "opposites attract." he's a jerk. he's a hunk. he's domineering. he's allowed to show emotion only & especially if that emotion is anger. he's persistent in his efforts to get the girl, going so far as to kiss her without her consent if it's For a Good Cause (Edward in New Moon post-Volterra, Jacob in Eclipse). he's a cool guy who's In Control 👉😎👉

perhaps that's why the Twilight saga appealed so such a large swath of women & girls. the women, who grew up with the notion that they could have the true love of their dreams so long as they submitted to the patriarchal social contract, saw the contract being fulfilled in Edward. (i.e., "you can be the king if you treat me like a princess.")

on the other hand, the 90s/00s girlies who grew up in the midst of a feminist revolution & who could see the glimmer of a dismantled patriarchy on the horizon were attracted to Edward for the flashes of radical feminist love they saw: the unapologetic expressions of emotion, the honesty of him sharing his vulnerabilities & weaknesses, Bella's ability to override Edward's will when necessary, etc.

sorry, i know this isn't really the crux of the rant you submitted, but it is extremely interesting to see these contradictions playing out in all the male characters of the saga. it's almost like smeyer is having this internal debate with herself without even realizing it...

#twilight meta #twilight renaissance #the twilight saga #i have been reading too much bells hooks (jk that's impossible) and have been thinking about radical feminist theory & #how it actually both applies and does not apply to twilight #i've been wanting to write a meta about it but fuck it #fuckmeyer 2.0 only takes meta requests i guess #anyway you brought up a really good point about how the cullen men are all a mix of what smeyer wanted Edward to be #and yet she was too afraid to realize the vision to its fullest extent #like yes she wants the muscles but she wants Edward to be soft and loving and delicate #and she wants Edward to have an Unforgivable Past but not SO unforgivable that he's completely damaged goods #and she wants him to be Devoted but not SO devoted that he's 'pussywhipped' #and she wants the devout religiosity and Goodness of Carlisle but she recognizes at the same time that women & readers want conflict #my response was getting long and frankly i didn't want to derail or dtract any further from the facts you were spitting but #i see what you're saying and i think you touch on something very incisive about the vision versus the execution of twilight #if we imagine a saga in which Edward WAS balls-to-the-wall Edward...what kind of character would we see? #that is another meta for another time but WOW am i thinking about this Intently and how different the saga would be if smeyer were to Commi #thanks for sending this my way!!! #cheers <3

[gods-graveyard]

Terrance Higgs (character profile)

March 21, 1978-???

(Ill never wear your broken crown by: Yellow_sprouts)

House- Slytherin Alleigance- Hemlocks Wand- 13.5 in, Red wood, Dragon core Fear- Being seen (being alone) Ethnicity- British

"Don't go where I cant follow" "You don't know me- you only know what I allow you to see" "Shhhh- no one cares, or at least I sure as shit dont" "I am not beautifully broken, I was ripped to shreds from the inside out" "Thats a problem for future me"

#terence higgs #cassius warrington #adrien puncey #slytherin boys #slytherin #slytherin pride #ao3 harry potter #ao3 fanfic #harry potter #slytherin skittles #slytherpride #youtube #Youtube #i love writing fucked up men #pureblood #he has issues #and my heart #gonna give him some therapy #hes trying so hard to be emo- but Adrien wont let him #hates everyone (hes lying) #will hiss like a cat

[ricciardosgirl]

thinking about how sweet farleigh probably really is when he's not by felix's side. yeah , he can be a dick sometimes but i just imagine him as the sweetest boyfriend ever. teasing you with playful spats of insults ( lovingly. )

i also bet he's a good guy to cuddle with , idk i just get that vibe. GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOYFRIEND BTW. secretly such a softie. always tries his hardest to impress you - literally doing anything to gain your approval. showing you like tons of affection.

felix SOOO teases farleigh about the way he switches up around you. real soft one. he would be the type of bf to literally worship you.

anyways, just thought about that. i have such saltburn brainrot i might go insane.

#saltburn #farleigh start #writing #i'm just a girl #i love him #i cannot be normal about anything ever #like what a man #love of my life #i need to get a hobby #like rn #oh well #i heart fucked up men #<333

[anghraine]

I’ve been thinking about the development of Elizabeth’s feelings for Darcy in P&P, and one of the things I find really intriguing is how incredibly careful Austen is in her handling of their physical attraction to each other.

A lot of takes on Darcy’s initial attraction to Elizabeth focus entirely on the physical element, but Austen’s description of it folds together his attraction to her intelligence, her expression, her body, and the “easy playfulness” of her manner. Of these, the earliest mentioned is his realization that her face is “rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes” and her eyes are the physical feature that he seems to dwell on the most.

At any rate, Darcy’s attraction to Elizabeth is established early on (Ch 6) and continues as a thread from that point on. And—I mean, even in 1813, it’s one thing to show a man in his twenties being attracted to the pretty heroine. Austen is a lot cagier about Elizabeth’s feelings.

The narrative is structured so that we know Darcy is physically attractive from his entrance in Ch 3, when the narrator refers to “his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien” along with his wealth. But we’re not in Elizabeth’s head at that point, and iirc, she isn’t shown as saying or thinking anything about his physical attractiveness until she blushingly agrees that he is very handsome forty chapters later.

Even there, Austen leaves the dialogue to stand on its own and tells us nothing of what Elizabeth actually feels about it. The conversation moves to Darcy’s personal virtues, which reveal the critical fact that Darcy is consistently kind and good-natured in the domestic sphere. So Elizabeth’s concession that Darcy is physically attractive is narratively linked to the suggestion that he would make a safe husband, emotionally speaking (although her concession comes first, which may be significant).

Between the initial, omniscient narrator-type description of him and Elizabeth agreeing in Ch 43, we do get references to his looks a few times, but during the period of Elizabeth’s dislike, it’s always either through implication or through someone around Elizabeth rather than Elizabeth herself. So Bingley, for instance, jokes about how Darcy is so much taller than he is, but the narrator only remarks on Elizabeth’s assumption that Darcy is offended by this.

We know that Elizabeth looks for a resemblance to Darcy when she first sees Lady Catherine, and finds it, but this isn’t explicitly linked to her conclusion that Lady Catherine might have been handsome in her youth.

Then there’s the introduction of Colonel Fitzwilliam, when he arrives with Darcy, as “about thirty, not handsome, but in person and address most truly the gentleman.” Obviously the contrast is with Darcy, who is handsome but has less gentlemanly manners, but this isn’t explicitly spelled out. Austen simply says that Darcy “looked just as he had been used to look in Hertfordshire” and moves to the manner of his compliments to Charlotte.

We do get an explicit contrast later, when Darcy, Georgiana, and Bingley come to Lambton (so, after the critical revelations):

Miss Darcy was tall, and on a larger scale than Elizabeth; and, though little more than sixteen, her figure was formed, and her appearance womanly and graceful. She was less handsome than her brother; but there was sense and good humour in her face

Austen breezes past this to Georgiana’s manners and Bingley’s arrival. There are a couple of discussions of Darcy’s appearance earlier at Pemberley, but entirely held between Mr and Mrs Gardiner, who admire his figure while Elizabeth is consumed by embarrassment. She mentions that it was obvious that he had only just arrived via horse or carriage, but not how she knows this or what she feels about it beyond repeatedly blushing.

Then they meet again, he interacts with the Gardiners for awhile, and Elizabeth and the Gardiners leave. The Gardiners discuss the encounter including Darcy’s appearance, and Mrs Gardiner—who at this point, still thinks Darcy has mistreated Wickham—first concludes that Wickham is handsomer, then immediately re-considers and decides that Darcy has perfect features, but not Wickham’s angelic countenance. She (Mrs Gardiner) goes on, “He[Darcy] has not an ill-natured look. On the contrary, there is something pleasing about his mouth when he speaks.”

Elizabeth does not opine on Darcy’s mouth, lol, and instead defends Darcy’s moral character as far as his financial dealings with Wickham are concerned. We don’t hear much more of it apart from that, and in general, we see Elizabeth’s reactions to Darcy more than we hear about them:

Their eyes instantly met, and the cheeks of both were overspread with the deepest blush.

She blushed again and again over the perverseness of the meeting.

The colour which had been driven from her face, returned for half a minute with an additional glow, and a smile of delight added lustre to her eyes, as she thought for that space of time that his affection and wishes must still be unshaken.

Darcy had walked away to another part of the room. She followed him with her eyes, envied everyone to whom he spoke, had scarcely patience enough to help anybody to coffee; and then was enraged against herself for being so silly!

The colour now rushed into Elizabeth’s cheeks in the instantaneous conviction of its being a letter from the nephew, instead of the aunt

She had only to say in reply, that they had wandered about, till she was beyond her own knowledge. She coloured as she spoke

I do not personally think there can be much reasonable doubt about whether Elizabeth is attracted to Darcy during this phase of the book. But the narrative does dance around it enough (for understandable 1813 reasons, I suspect, given that Elizabeth either dislikes or hates Darcy for a significant portion of the book) that it’s not at all clear when she begins to finds him attractive, especially given that she does not actually see him between receiving the letter and acknowledging his attractiveness at Pemberley. So I think there are multiple valid interpretations or headcanons one could come up with for that.

#fun fact: i started writing this bc i was like 'i want to make a post about something trivial i can be concise about' #rip me i guess #but tbh my personal headcanon is that elizabeth /is/ attracted to darcy for a lot of the book but NOT remotely 'secretly in love' or w/e #people will be like 'if the attraction is mutual then what about her dislike are you saying-' #nope! she hates him. in fact she only hates him more bc he's smart and hot and complicated. #in addition to her conviction that he's a terrible person morally #and then she finds out he's actually okay and then that he's actually GOOD and then that he's made himself even better #elizabeth: i tried infatuation at first sight with wickham. now i shall try grown-up feelings like respect and gratitude #three days later: alas... i could have loved him... #some indeterminate amount of time without actually seeing him later: ...oh. fuck. #(i paraphrase. but honestly while elizabeth's realization that half her sleepless nights are darcy's fault is sad it is also very funny) #but yeah i think elizabeth is extremely wary of where attraction to emotionally unsuitable people goes and just buries all that #but once hte brakes go off she falls FAST #also she's genuinely attracted to three different men over the course of one pretty short novel and i love that for her #anghraine babbles #anghraine's meta #austen blogging #elizabeth bennet #fitzwilliam darcy #otp of otps #pride and prejudice #jane austen #long post

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]

---

"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.

Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.

I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #pericky #ricky owens #professor pericles #anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die #i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did #the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲 #which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late #ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world #(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore') #(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all') #and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao) #and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong #his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE. #pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together #'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood' #that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more #and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all #ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally #....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him #he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control #there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore #it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much #(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth) #(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind) #whosebaby makes things #whosebaby writes #SDMItag #dyn: when i die i want you to die too

[dishsaop]

does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic #im just like. tired of gnawing #and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get #content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky #young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me #im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing & #digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances #m text #i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story #not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a #lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out #bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples #and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified #(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right) #and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here #(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh) #I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost. #anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein #out as lesbian #like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has #to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic) #meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just #and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so #yknow. personal viewer bias here #but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian #and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out #but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough. #im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes #I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY. #like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'