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#i really love fate dialogue
wisdom-t3a · 5 months
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even without context this is the dumbest thing i've made. anyway chiron #1 milf lets gooo
the context:
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sieglinde-freud · 4 months
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been capturing some of the bosses from the kid paraloges in rev just because its something i normally forget to do and i went down to the prison to go persuade one of them and i think its important to say that ive been playing with combat/other action animations off and so i kinda forget what my units look like sometimes. so i go into the prison and
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got jumpscared. hi pretty dress laslow. why are your shoulders like that
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he was successful though so like i cant even complain
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forcedhesitation · 5 months
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I finished act 2 again, but properly this time. and I cannot even begin to put into words how satisfying and beautiful all of that was. I loved act 2 the first time I played, but figuring out how to save the last light this time, properly completing halsin's quest, storming moonrise towers with jaheira and her harpers, seeing aylin reunite with isobel...all of it. I love it even more. and the beginning of act 3 feels all the more rewarding, having fixed my past errors.
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#bg3#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#that was. incredible. I can't believe I missed so much the first time I played.#but at least having messed up the first time gives me a greater appreciation for the full story.#I did the “lift the shadowcurse” quest SO assbackwards last time I missed like. 90% of halsin's act 2 dialogue.#he IS cute. I am just STUPID. and learned nothing from dunking on gale before- when that was ALSO my own colossal mistake.#jaheira also gets such a badass moment of glory if her harpers as still alive. if you lose last light like I did before...#...god the assault on moonrise feels so...depressing. I felt so fucking bad for her the first time I played.#but I thought that you couldn't save isobel! and that's just what was supposed to happen! fool was I!#oh and if your tav fails the perception check on mizora when she first sends wyll to rescue zariel's asset- HE renegotiates his contract!#which I like better? I like when the companions get to choose their own fate! I like wyll taking a stand for himself! it was awesome!#and well. if corydalis used his outrageous charisma stat to push mizora into giving wyll a funky new sword? that's just friendship <3#the relationship between aylin and isobel is beautiful. I'm so happy that I replayed to save isobel. I much prefer seeing aylin happy :)#barcus. barcus. barcus. I want to criticise you but I'm in love with astarion so. can I really talk???#well maybe /I/ can't. but corydalis is Aware and playing mental manipulation chess with astarion. out of pure intent. but still.#join our polycule barcus. please. we will treat you better. I promise <3333#anyways. not ready for the buggiest part of the game again. but at least I know what's going on this time.
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the-meme-monarch · 2 years
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“I don’t like chulip’s love interest” sorry you feel that way but she is the literally the objective of the game
#chulip#like. i wish there was more to do with her.#more dialogue from her that isn’t just from showing her items#more obligatory dialogue with her to make the player like her ig?#give the player a reason to want to get her kiss at the end#but every time I see people say they don’t like her is bc she’s mean#i don’t want her to be nice. she’s a very layered and justified character I feel like#i mean she slaps him the first time bc you try to kiss her Out Of Nowhere. that’s very justified#she’s at odds w her parents and is homeless bc she couldn’t stand to be around them anymore#i really appreciate that she’s very much her own person. she isn’t perfect and sweet or nice. she doesnt come from a picture perfect family#she has interests and dislikes and isn’t a blank slate and i love it so much#she’s very self assured. ms thick glasses diagram of her says she’s kinda bitchy but also a romantic#I think she’s just sort of hardened herself as a result of her experiences#idk I just want her and pb’s relationship to be like a placebo.#poor boy kisses her in his dream before they met and thinks it’s fate and pursues her affections#but throughout the game he actually gets to know her and realizes he really does love her bc he loves who she is.#and not just bc she was in his dream#i know this game will eventually come to the switch bc it won the poll but i want it to be. better#/i saw this lovingly bc this is my favorite game for some reason#say*#i have analyzed this game so much but ik that doesn’t mean the people who played it casually understand it like i do#like i just want some things(abt love interest especially) to be more overt#words from the monarch
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ajdrawshq · 8 months
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Forrest being classed as a male unit despite being one of the most obviously transfem characters ive ever seen in a game and Soleil not being able to date any of the girl units despite being very openly a lesbian are both genuine crimes BUT it does let them be together despite everything so. yknow . thin ice
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claire-starsword · 1 year
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swampjawn · 1 month
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God I love animation. I love it for the way it can bring anything to life beyond the constraints of boring ol' reality, but also the ways that it's inextricably linked to, and draws on the conventions of live-action film-making.
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So fuck it, let's look at how Hayao Miyazaki straight up copies some camera framing techniques from his predecessor and the other most influential Japanese filmmaker of all time, Akira Kurosawa! (Kurosawa really was the master of framing scenes around his characters, so he's a great source of inspiration)
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(btw, this is a screenshot from this TV special where the two met for the first time just after the release of Kurosawa's final film. It's pretty interesting, and also very cute how nervous Miyazaki seems to be to meet one of his idols.)
Specifically, how the two each choose to break the 180 degree rule (well, not technically 'break' in the case of Kurosawa) to show their protagonists' changing destiny in "Throne of Blood" and "Princess Mononoke".
For anyone who doesn't know, the 180 degree rule is a basic film-making rule of thumb which states that in any scene where two characters interact, you should draw an imaginary line between them and the camera should always stay on one side of that line.
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("In the Mood for Love" - Wong Kar-wai)
This way, one character is always looking to the right of the camera, the other is always looking to the left, and the audience doesn't get confused by the geography of the scene. Crossing this line can be disorienting, but when done intentionally, it can convey a paradigm shift of some kind in the scene.
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In this scene from "Throne of Blood," (a feudal Japanese retelling of Macbeth) Washizu's wife Asaji discusses tactics with him and tries to convince him to aspire to the throne and to assassinate his lord Tsuzuki while he sleeps.
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As two servants appear to notify them that Washizu's sleeping quarters are prepared, the camera dollies left and around the characters' backs. This camera movement is motivated by the motion of the servants' torches outside the room, but it also signifies a change in Washizu's outlook.
Washizu is completely silent for most of this scene, contemplating his wife's advice. But as the camera slides behind his back and across the line of action, the scene is now re-framed, illustrating his change in perspective.
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He's been convinced and the trajectory of his life is about to change - and now, facing away from the camera, is the time for action.
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Because the camera slides smoothly across the line, Kurosawa isn't technically breaking the 180 degree rule. Miyazaki on the other hand, takes it a little further.
The complimentary scene in Princess Mononoke comes near the start when the wise woman of the village reads Prince Ashitaka's fortune after he's cursed by the wild boar spirit. She tells him that it is his fate to leave the village and travel to the west, where he may be able to lift the curse on his arm. The trajectory of Ashitaka's life changes in this moment too. As he accepts his fate, the change is symbolized by him cutting off his hair, but also by the camera jumping the line.
Throughout this dialogue scene and even as he cuts his hair, the simulated camera sits just slightly to the side of Ashitaka's left shoulder.
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But once it's done, for the final shot, the scene is reframed and we jump to the other side, where Ashitaka is now looking to the right of the camera instead of the left.
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Making the camera dolly across a scene like Kurosawa's version in 2D animation is no simple task, so this transition with a simple cut is in a way subtler, in another way a bit more jarring, but it conveys the same meaning.
This is the moment when our protagonists make the choice to embark on a new destiny and re-frame their lives.
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This has been an excerpt from a short video essay I made a while back, which not many people watched. I think this is at least in part due to my failure to package it well, and it seems you tumblheads like this animation/cinematography analysis stuff, so this is an experiment to see if, with the help of y'all, and a new title and thumbnail, it's at all possible to give this video a second wind in the eyes of the Youtube Gods!
So if you found this interesting, I'd appreciate if you checked it out! Thanks for reading!
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freak-accident419 · 4 months
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Good Tidings
Josh Futturman x GN!Reader
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Summary: You and Josh barely have any time to yourselves due time traveling nonstop, trying to save the fate of humanity. However, being at the Futturman’s Christmas dinner party granted you two a fair amount of time.
Word Count: 2.9k
Content: 18+ Smut, MDNI, gender neutral reader (no genitals specified, it’s just vague penetration), cockwarming, lots of fluff, takes place during Future Man S1E6 “A Blowjob Before Dying”, too much shitty sex jokes n puns (im sorry) (not), giddy+silly+sweet love making, you think you are sooo fucking funny, more goofy than serious/lustful, you two are very much in love, more plot (high ass dialogue) than porn tbh
(A/n: Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!! Hope you enjoy this muahahaha and thank you all for your recent support! First smut written on this account, so be gentle with me please !)
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You, Tiger, Wolf, and Josh were at the Futturman household, schedule disrupted due to the reluctance of Josh’s parents. They insisted that you all join them for their small Christmas dinner party. You were all sat down at the dining table, as well as the neighbors, Josh’s Uncle Barry, and Diane’s friend, Wanda (who was especially invited to perhaps keep Barry at bay).
While Tiger was mostly impatient and displeased with every mindless convo and laughter, talk revolved around several topics like DNA kits or Wolf’s strangely fascinating culinary.
You sat beside your boyfriend, Josh, slightly nervous about the time you were wasting. Ever since you’ve been dragged into the whole ‘Biotic Wars is real’ and ‘kill or be killed’ shit, you and Josh have been dealing with the worst, unimaginable shit ever. With the two of your adrenaline wearing off, you gradually processed everything that’s happened the past few days since you were never given a break. Hence the hand holding under the table as you two would seek comfort from one another.
But you attempted to distract yourself from the deaths you’ve witnessed and the near-death experiences you’ve had to your best ability by indulging in every conversation.
“Gabe, honey, tell them about—about the recent fishing trip we went on,” Josh’s mother, Diane encouraged to her husband with her sweet, achingly kind voice. You had so much respect for Josh’s parents, so it was pretty easy for you all to hit it off well. They loved you. In fact, they were heavily relieved that Josh had finally found someone, let alone someone as amazing as you.
Gabe let out a hearty chuckle as he prepared himself to tell the table his story.
“So, a couple of days ago, Diane and I went on a small fishing trip. And I remembered an old trick back in the day that attracted a lot of trout,” he explained as you picked up your glass of wine, sipping some generously. Diane smiled at him with a nod as he continued. “One of the very efficient ways to go about fish bait is blowing worms.”
You choke on your wine, holding in a laugh, coughing a bit instead as Josh looks at you with a knowing smile. “I’m sorry, what?” You asked, trying not to grin too widely. Did you hear that right?
“Blowing worms,” Gabe repeated, getting a confined chuckle out of you and Josh. “You inflate the worms with air, which makes them float instead of having your bait be at the very bottom. It’s perfect, especially near the winter time. Worked like a charm.”
“Ohh,” you gasp in wonder. You chuckle to yourself before you spontaneously say, “Yeah, actually, I think I did do that a few times. Blew a-a worm.”
You looked at Josh, thinking you were being hilarious, but he looked at you with surprised eyes and parted lips of shock that slowly transitioned into a smile.
“Really?” Josh’s father expressed with intrigue. “I didn’t even know you fish. You have someone teach you that method, or—”
“Oh, no, Mr. Futturman, I,” you speak as you occasionally switch from looking at him to Josh. “I think it’s a very popular method. It’s a pretty natural instinct, you know? Blowing worms, that is.”
“Wow, really? Always thought it was an old-fashioned sort of thing.”
“Nah, far from old-fashioned, it’s almost contemptuous!”
You did pretty well at suppressing your laughter, because you sounded really earnest. Josh covered his mouth, amused by your subtle humor.
“Joshy, we didn’t know that Y/n likes fishing. We could’ve taken them on our trip. In fact, we could’ve all went,” Diane suggests as she looked at Josh and then you.
It was like everyone at the table was blind to your immature, yet humorous implication. Except, of course, your boyfriend.
“Oh, no worries, Mrs. Futturman,” you insisted kindly. “I don’t usually fish. Plus, blowing worms can be very exhausting.”
“Y/n—” Josh reacted, but interrupted himself with a suppressed laugh.
“You think so?” Mr. Futturman raised an eyebrow. “I just stick a syringe in them, inflate it, and bam, it’s all thick and ready to g—”
You and Josh burst out laughing, holding onto the table and each other. You swore there were slight tears coming out of your eyes as both of your faces were red. You felt overjoyed to feel happiness and delight for the first time ever since your involvement in the mission. And you felt even more glad that it was your boyfriend that you fooled around with.
“Sorry, sorry,” Josh says after his laughter died down as the entire table was confused. “I just—We just thought about a, um, moment when—Um… Actually, Y/n and I did go fishing once. Isn’t that—isn’t that right?”
You nod and go along with it, detaining your giggles.
“Well, anyways, we actually did that method, and yeah, you’re right, it works like a charm!” He exclaimed with joy as his parents smile at him with approval and pride.
“Bet the worm was pretty small, huh?” Tiger jumped in wittily, however, in a coldly nonchalant manner.
“And pathetic!” Wolf blurted.
“Hey, even if that might’ve been true—might’ve—it-it probably had a personality, you know?” He reckoned with a shrug, making you laugh again.
***
“You are—are fucking terrible, you know that?” Josh quickly muttered under his breath as you two continued to kiss each other deeply on his bed. “Those were my parents.”
“C’mon, baby, admit it, it was comedy gold,” you giggle, pressing your lips to his once more by tugging his black, skinny necktie towards you as you remained sitting on his lap.
The dinner party was still going on downstairs. After a long time of looking at each other longingly at the table, you two decided to excuse yourselves in order to “prepare gifts for Josh’s coworkers that he forgotten to wrap” in his room.
When you guys rushed in his room, you couldn’t take your hands off each other, immediately making out once the door was locked. However, you then had to close all his blinds before you met him back on the bed. This wasn’t new to you, none of it was. The soft, warm orange that his room’s light emitted strangely comforted you, as well as being back on his soft, spacey mattress.
Was it a good idea to leave Tiger and Wolf alone with Josh’s family and company? Probably not. But you’ve taught them enough shit. They tolerate Josh’s parents, so why not a few other guests as well? And you’ll only be gone for no longer than five minutes, you’d hoped.
You bring your hands to his pants, attempting to unbuckle his belt. “Shit—What the—What the fuck is this?” You grumble, Josh laughing at you as you struggle.
“I think it’s—” He giggled, bringing his own hands to his belt, trying to remove it, pulling. “I think it’s stuck.”
“What the shit?” You wheeze. “Fuckin’—Fuckin’ cock block!” You continue to mess with the belt, trying your best to unbuckle it.
“Wait, you—you’re almost there, you—”
“Oh my god! Holy shit! I got it!” You let out a surprised gasp, quickly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants right after.
“Oh shit! Flawless victory!” He exclaimed, making you stop in your tracks, looking back up at him.
“You did not just quote Mortal Kombat because I successfully unbuckled your belt,” you raise an eyebrow, nevertheless amused by his dorkiness.
“Maybe,” he answered smugly.
“You’re lucky I am in love with you, otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have let that slide,” you chuckle.
“Oh, come on. You’d love my video game references either way,” he insisted.
“I’m serious, Josh, the amount of things I’ve let slide because I love you is kind of crazy. Let me just say, I am so glad I met you after the ‘apple juice’ incident that Ray told me about.”
“Ray told you about that?”
“He told me a lot of things. Mostly the embarrassing things. I think he wanted to freak me out, you know? Always thought I was too good for you.”
You pulled his pants off, throwing it carelessly down on the floor. Your lips attached once more as he snickered as you then cupped his face with your warm hands. You look at your lover, his big, brown, desperate eyes looking at you with utmost adoration. “Well, jokes on him, he was entirely wrong. You are so good to me, you know that?”
He smiles at you softly, and you could sense how flustered he felt to hear that (the blushing patently gave it away). “You’re the one who’s been on my side since forever. Even when you got involved in all this shit that you didn’t even have to be in. You-You could’ve called me crazy, and-and broken up with me, but you believed me and stayed by my side, even knowing that things were gonna get dirty. And they did, get really dirty.” Rest in peace Janis and Carl? Or, rather, die, you evil perf-cocks? Eh, doesn’t fucking matter. “You’re so good for me, sometimes I can’t believe you’re even real.”
You giggle sweetly as you give him another kiss, a quiet smack caused by your lips deftly leaving his own to speak. “Well, I’m here and I’m real, and I’ll always be there for you, baby,” you reassure. You were perfect for him. Indefinitely.
He smiled blissfully. “I love you so much.”
You two made out passionately until you were laying under him, the lower halves of your bodies bare as you discarded the necessary clothes.
“Do you think your parents and everyone else knew about the worm thing or are they just that… I don’t know… clueless?” You asked endearingly under your breath as your fingers entangle in his soft, brown hair.
“Hmm. Possibly,” he reckons, raising his eyebrows as he thought about it. “That was still kind of evil of you, though.”
“Me, personally, I thought it was hilarious.”
“Blowing worms?”
“C’mon, your father set himself up for that.”
“Tiger called it small,” he muttered lamentably. “And Wolf said it was pathetic.”
“Jeez, whatever happened to personality?” You chuckle softly.
He sighed. “They still sort of called me out.”
“Shut up. It’s average, to say the least. Doesn’t matter either way, you’re enough.”
“But—”
“Josh, if it bothers you this much, then just prove them wrong right now,” you reply with a laugh.
“As in—?”
“Josh, c’mon, we don’t have time anyways. They’re expecting us any minute because of that shitty made-up story excuse. I love foreplay, dude, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t acknowledge the time at all. Quickies are definitely not our cup of tea. Y—” Your breath hitched as you felt his tip prod at your sensitive entrance. He gave you a soft, comforting kiss on the nose. You looked into each other’s eyes deeply, then your lips crashed into each other’s as the two of you stifled your moans once Josh finally thrusted in.
“Y-You know you’re p-perfect just the—mm—way you are, right?” You ask gently, wrapping your arms around his neck.
He smiled at this, kissing your lips once more, beginning to move. Your heart fluttered each second you felt him thrust in and out, slightly and satisfyingly stretching you. His hips moved quite skillfully, but also slightly clumsily, which was nonetheless admirable.
Your usual soft moans and gasps would be replaced by stifled grunts and sighs, due to the company downstairs. As much as you wanted the whole world to know that Josh Futturman was yours and only yours, you also had dignity—plus, it was his goddamn parents downstairs.
You giggled as you felt his nose against yours each rough kiss. “Y-You know, however, I think the only complaint I have about you is the fact that you hate Super Mario Bros.” You point out with a chuckle.
“Y/n, in my—agh—defense, it literally makes no sense. Like, why would there be pipes that are—”
“Okay, why rely solely on logic and rationality, hm, Futturman? I thought video games were all about escape. It’s all just harmless fun.”
“Yeah, well, I’m much more into games with thought-out plots and challenges,” he remarked, making you roll your eyes playfully. “Anyways, it pretty much just got ruined for me even more when Tracy at the video game store talked about Luigi having a very hairy, Italian cock.”
You raise an eyebrow.
“Baby, I love you. However, your goddamn dick is currently inside of me. Please do not talk about Luigi’s theoretic hairy penis.”
“Noted,” he assents, going back to kissing you passionately, while moving slowly inside of you, yet deeper with each thrust. You let out a quiet, pleasured gasp as you felt him fill you perfectly, his hands lovingly gripping your waist to keep you still.
Your eyes closed as you indulged in the feeling of his gentle thrusts, him peppering kisses on your neck, softly chuckling under his breath. He guessed he was still in disbelief that he had someone as amazing as you.
“I… I still can’t believe someone as perfect as you would ever go out with a loser like me,” he scoffed, pressing more kisses against your neck and jaw.
“Hey, seriously?” You frown, holding his face in your hands once more, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. “You are… a lot of things, Josh. But a loser isn’t one of them. Okay? You are so kind and funny and caring and thoughtful a-and—m-mm—amazing i-in general.”
“I—Fuck. I—I don’t deserve you,” he panted.
“J-Jesus Christ, sh-shut your fuckin’ rathole. Yes you do, baby. You deserve me as much as I deserve you.”
It was becoming harder to focus on your words as you continued to feel an increased sensation and pleasure as his thrusts quicken and falter. You let out a small gasp as you tense things up by wrapping your legs around his waist to bring him in even deeper. You two had been speaking and giggling to each other constantly that you didn’t even notice the lewd, wet, slapping against the skin that came from each heavy thrust. Josh grabbed one of your hands, interlocking your fingers tightly on the mattress beside your head.
“J-Josh, I—” You begin breathlessly.
“I know, me too,” he grunts as soft, inaudible whimpers and whines leave his lips while the movement of his hips stuttered. His rhythm was becoming unsteady, but it was also increasing in speed. “I—Y/n, f-fuck, I’m c—”
“Sh-shit, baby, I—” You pant as you felt closer and closer over the edge, every mere feeling increasing your stimulation. You bring your hand to cover your mouth and suppress any loud moans as you finally released, the knot in your stomach undoing itself as you sigh afterwards once your hand left your mouth. Josh came exactly right after you as his hips jolted for the final time, spilling his warm, white seed inside of you, burying his face in your neck to muffle a high-pitched grunt and acute whines.
You two were breathing heavily, kissing each other’s lips softly and lovingly after you both came down from your high. You two never moved from your position, still fragile and sore. Josh caressed the side of your waist under your shirt, his head resting in your neck as you moved your hand to play with his hair, holding him in your arms.
“This is probably the only time we’ll have together alone before we have to continue with the damn mission,” you figured, tangling his strands of hair in between your fingers.
“It’s bullshit,” he mumbles, his thumb continuing to rub your waist.
“Enjoy the moment while we can?” You suggested with a small chuckle.
“Yeah, I guess,” he sighed dejectedly.
A beat.
“Hm,” you hum thoughtfully.
“Yeah?”
“Nothing, I just… I like it whenever you’re inside of me,” you comment softly. This was probably the most affectionately vulnerable and honest you have been with him. Your tone lacked any intention for humor or lust; you were genuine.
He lifted his head up from your neck. “Seriously?”
“I don’t know. It just feels right. You know, as if you were, like, made for me exactly,” you whispered lovesickly, looking down at his sweet, plump lips to his profound, gorgeous brown eyes. “I wanna stay like this a little longer. You’re so perfect for me. I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” he replied with a smile, kissing your lips soothingly.
Then suddenly,
“Futturman! L/n! Get out of there, we gotta go now! Operation Cameronium!” Tiger called from the other side of the door. “Goddamnit. The fucking—tiny man—baby thing—is, just, really starting to piss me off. Let’s go!”
You and Josh looked at each other for a while in silence before bursting out into laughter.
“We-we better go before she considers murdering little baby Wallace,” you suggest with a soft smile.
“Yeah… Wait. Do you really think—”
“No…” You answer before he could finish his sentence. “I know she seems all stoic on the outside, but I feel like the past few days, she changed a bit. Empathy-wise. Slightly, at the very least.” Josh nods.
“I’m really gonna miss this,” he sighs.
“Me too. But don’t worry, once we fix everything, we have all the time in the world together,” you assert.
“Okay,” he smiles sweetly, kissing your lips before slowly pulling out of you, leaving you to feel empty and slightly bummed.
The two of you, with your clothes back on and hair quickly fixed, you waltzed downstairs with no problem. Your hands had been interlocked, faces a bit flushed as you smile to yourselves.
“You two sure look happy,” Diane expresses joyfully. “You really got into the Christmas spirit, wrapping all those gifts upstairs, huh?”
You giggled under your breath. “Oh, yeah, definitely, Mrs. Futturman. Uh, very much so. I really love Christmas, you know? The gift wrapping Joshy and I did upstairs and, you know, all the Christmas traditions. ‘Specially, ‘specially the yule log.” You look at Josh with a knowing grin as he just listened in, suspecting nothing at all. “Really makes you feel warm inside, am I right?”
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absolutebl · 4 months
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Best 23 of BL 2023 - Quirky Awards
SHOCK & AWE AWARDS
1. Biggest BL surprise of 2023:
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The last 3 months of 2023 in general got my biggest WTF award.
GMMTV fielding OffGun AND TayNew in the same quarter while also airing Last Twilight (arguably one of their best BLs ever)
That they ALSO optioned 3 JBLs
That there's a high heat omegaverse BL staring Pavel
That there were 20 BLs airing and none of them Korean.
With 5 VAMPIRE BLs announced for next year
But my prize in this category goes to My Dear Gangster Oppa.
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It's just crazy:
Thai talent, Korean money + IP (this is adapted from a manwha) airing on a Chinese channel (iQIYI). Plus it was GOOD and made smart reuse of a pair who richly deserved it. I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production. And wonder if any other film genre could even do anything like this.
2. The “that country did WHAT?” award:
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The 8th Sense from Korea?!
I mean, seriously?! Dealing with metal health, suicide, darkness, therapy, age gap, & first time love BUT FROM KOREA? And then openness and casual boyfriend physical affection? What's next? An actual hard fought coming out narrative with an HEA? Gay domesticity and families?
Careful Korea, you'll strain something. Possibly your own culture and film industry.
I should stop having expectations of Korea, they keep surprising me.
Runners up: Korea letting OnlyOneOf do Bump Up Business not to mention that OmegaX thing. AND Korea adapting Why R U? What are you up to, Korea? Qua? Is this a coded message? Should we send help? Do you need snacks?
3. Biggest casting whoa! where did you come from? award:
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GeminiFourth in My School President.
Seriously? Babies what? How did GMMTV find you? How do you exist? How is BL this lucky?
4. That studio did WHAT now? award:
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GMMTV putting EarthMix into Moonlight Chicken.
And then doubling down with G4 as the damn sides.
Fucking genius.
5. I’m sad you were ignored award:
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Destiny Seeker.
It's just a really fun little Thai pulp, the pairs were good, silly dialogue, plus consent and other good rep. I enjoyed it. No one talked about it AT ALL.
6. 2023 BL That Actually Made Me Lose My Mind Award?
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Laws of Attraction. -The casting, the crazy story, the soapy drama! But specifically: Film playing Charn - the range of his smiles alone. GLORIOUS
I mean I Feel You Linger in the Air also sparked something in me, but LoA drove me actually nuts.
NARRATIVE AWARDS
7. Best story 2023:
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La Pluie
I know, you're surprised, right? At the time I didn't chat much about it but I really enjoyed the discourse others were having. I love anything that really examines the fated mates (soulmates) trope and the idea of "the one". What a clever way to do that. (This is one reason UWMA is my favorite Thai BL.)
This one reminded me of the way Color Rush approached allegory and that's no bad thing. Such an impressive little piece.
8. Best narrative structure 2023 award:
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Unintentional Love Story.
I know this may seem a simplistic pick. But I love the tidiness of this no frills contemporary romance, how the culture of work and personal ethics and corruption fight against the main character's affection and integrity. Poor baby boy is driven into a corner and then punished for it. But it is punishment he feels he deserves, and so it is up to his (now) ex to figure out what went wrong and why.
It's just great. I love it when no one is stupid or wrong, it's just impossible circumstances and unintentional love deeply felt.
9. Best 2023 dialogue (script) award:
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Jun & Jun
Never before has Korea laced a BL with that much perfectly executed innuendo. It was a master class. I didn't know you could be that lascivious in Korean, quite frankly. Plus the way the 2 Juns constantly seamlessly transition between formal register (work, public - where they are boss/employee) to informal register (when they are alone and age mates + childhood sweethearts).
Beautiful to hear and watch.
10. Favorite scene 2023:
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The dub con scene in I Cannot Reach You because I AM TRASH for an out of control seme. I'm sorry I just AM.
I have said it before, I will say it again, NO ONE DOES THIRST like Japan. And when that thirst bubbles over, it is heart-clenching and very hot.
11. The most rewatchable BL of 2023 award:
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Our Dating Sim
That scene where they lie on the floor + the stolen kiss + giggle? Come on, it should be on comfort repeat in war rooms. It could bring world peace.
ACTORS & CHARACTERS AWARDS
12. Best performance of a queer actor in a leading role, 2023:
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Fluke in Make a Wish.
It was fun to see him as an irreverent immortal and while I love OhmFluke I also really enjoyed this new pairing. It was a genuine pleasure to watch.
13. Best pining 2023:
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The moot pining in Tokyo in April is...
Boys, seriously? Japan must you destroy us like this? Hurts so good.
14. Best wingman 2023 (The Namgoong Award)
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Tiw from My School President
I mean, come on, of course it's him!
(Also can you believe Mark went on from this to do fricking Only Friends!? To Last Twilight! Come on GMMTV GIVE HIM A LEAD!)
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15. Biggest OMG I LOVE you boys together, YAY!
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Dimpled McMafia & Feral Bunny Foo Foo from Kiseki Dear to Me.
They were feral for each other.
We were feral for them
It was a whole delightful THING.
16. Most unexpected return of a BL pair? award:
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The Private Lessons pair showing up in Love Class 2.
I know it was only a cameo, but SERIOUSLY? Thank you SO MUCH Korea! A big studio picking up a Strongberry pairing? I love you.
Seriously tho between them, Taiwan & Korea tried for ALL THE CAMEOS this year.
17. Well aren't you two just the prettiest? award:
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NetJames in Bed Friend.
Need I say more?
18. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
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Bah Vinh in Vian & Mr Cinderella 2. I did like either show but I loved him in them. Especially the make outs.
Yes you have chemistry with all the boys in Vietnam and you kiss beautifully. But it's okay now honey, you have the crown. Relax, you're stressing us out.
RANDOM PICKS
19. Favorite Linguistic Moment of 2023:
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Our Dating Sim
Caught in the act by the elevator scene. OMG it's so funny. They're being such boyfriend shits to each other, and to be caught in the act by THAT character, and try to manifest formal language whole cloth? Hilarious.
Honorable mention to War Peanuts in Destiny Seeker.
20. Biggest disappointment of 2023:
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You Are Mine
Seriously Taiwan, AGAIN you disappoint me with an Office BL? You're Taiwan, land of offices and suits. This should be YOUR SETTING TO WIN. And yet... argh. I mean it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good either. Stop it Taiwan, do better.
Runners up? Between Us, Chains of Heart, Dangerous Romance - this was a HOTLY contested category.
+ 2 Winners in the sub-category of FUCK YOU FOR THAT ENDING award:
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The Director who Buys Me Dinner - I mean this nicely but: you have your lane now Korea, stop hurting us, that's Japan's responsibility and they do it better.
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I Feel You Linger In the Air - I'm just hugely disappointed. Thailand ALMOST got its second 10/10 from me, but that damn ending.
Argh.
21. Best Wardrobe/Prop Use 2023
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The shower of packaged bedsheets in My Personal Weatherman
Amazing. Brilliant. No notes.
22. Best Queer Rep 2023
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Chot in Step By Step
In fact, all the queer characters in this show were treated with great integrity.
AND props to this cast for refusing to do fan service. GOOD FOR YOU! Fuck those sasang wankers.
Runners up? The found family cast of Love in Translation and the Rainbow Rice Cakes in The New Employee.
23. Best Meta Trope call out
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Tin Tem Jai
Come on, what a zinger, but at themselves (and Taiwan)
Final question: which of the 23 was the hardest for me to pick?
Honestly? Question #1 this year. But also question #20.
(Last year: 2022's Version) 
Remember I only pull from shows that were completely finished by the end of 2023. Or The Sign probably would have taken multiple categories. But it will fall into 2024 offerings.
(source)
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cepheustarot · 4 months
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Your future love relationship: with whom and what will be
Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.
Paid readings
Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.
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Pile 1: This person will look strong, fit, most likely he often does sports and therefore he looks muscular. But in addition, he also has a strong inner core, he endures all stressful situations, solves all problems, he is not of those who give in to emotions, it is important for him to first deal with problems, things. He can also be called a determined man and all his achievements he achieves through hard work, through the efforts he has put in, he does a lot to realize himself, his desires. Self-fulfillment in life is just as important to him! This person is not only able to work well, but also to rest well, he really knows how to unload their head from complex thoughts and enjoy the moment without burdening himself with problems. It can also be called the soul of the company, as it emanates the aura of a friendly person, with whom it is easy to enter into a dialogue and can be discussed anything, it is easy for him to maintain a dialogue with anyone. In addition, he is energetic, active, he can have quick speech and active facial facial expressions, he can walk fast or do something quickly. He has leadership skills, he is able to lead people, he is able to work in a team, he is ready to take responsibility for his actions. 
Your relationship with this person will be very strong and stable, you will trust each other, maintain, together cope with difficulties, you will feel that you have become family to each other, you will have a strong connection between you, You will achieve much together. in addition to that you will have an understanding, your relationship will not be deprived of passion, playfulness, between you will be a lot of romance and flirting. 
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Pile 2: I’d like to point out that maybe your partner will be younger than you! Or he can act like a child at times, be naive at certain points, but these details are not critical and should not prevent your relationship from developing. The person himself is quite lucky, successful, all his beginnings and new cases are accompanied by success. I would also call him unpredictable, his actions and thoughts are difficult to predict, as he has the traits of an adventurer and, figuratively speaking, today he will want to go to the other end of the world, and tomorrow will conquer the mountains. I mean, he’s pretty easy-going and he’s very easy to accept that kind of offer. By virtue of his character, he constantly gets into various stories, from which, of course, he gets out, because fate is on his side. Also this man is not deprived of romance, he quite openly shows his feelings and his love, a lot of flirts, give a lot of gifts, a lot of making nice gestures. The person himself is also emotional, he can quickly change mood. He is quite young and inexperienced, so he does not have enough experience of life, but nevertheless he is open to everything new in his life, in this respect he is quite bold. 
Your relationship with this person at the beginning will be filled with romance, you will be constantly together, as you are deeply in love with each other and without the presence of anyone near you will quickly miss each other. You can even idealize each other during this period! However, over time your sense of obsession will fade away and only love, warmth and affection between you will remain, you will be able to exist together, complementing each other, and separately, continuing to do your business. 
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Pile 3: The person himself can be closed, it is difficult for him to open up to people, he is not inclined to show a lot of emotions and tell about his feelings, just it takes a lot of time to trust another. He has a realistic view of things, he tends to objectively assess the situation, relies on logic and facts, rather than on feelings and intuition, in the dispute it is important to prove his point of view rather than show empathy and look at the situation from the side. He can criticize people, but he is also self-critical, has high demands on himself and people, he is perfectionist, tends not to believe in himself and his powers, so he tries a lot to achieve results. Perhaps he’s still a troubled man, prone to thinking too much. He is also one of those who is willing to help people, extend a helping hand, support, he is happy to share his experience and advice, he is generous, honest with people, he appreciates people close to him. 
Your relationship will develop rapidly with this man, you may have common goals and plans and you will achieve them, you two will succeed! But I see here you may not see much of each other, you may meet from a distance and you may often miss each other. But at the same time you will be sincere in your feelings, you will love each other. 
Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤
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youneedsomeprompts · 5 months
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~ IT'S FATE, RIGHT? ~ ARRANGED MARRIAGE PROMPTS
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requested by: various anons requests: see full requests at the end of the post
Feel free to use and reblog!
Part 1 (kinda): 10 marriage of convenience prompts
Setting/action:
#1 - freaking out briefly every morning when they realise they're sharing the house with their newlywed spouse #2 - finding out new quirks of the other with great fascination #3 - trying to willingly make the other a part of their daily habits #4 - getting that strange feeling in their belly whenever they introduce the other as their "spouse" #5 - being awkward around each other because they don't know how polite or how casual they should be #6 - being nervous because how do you do the married thing? #7 - slowly but surely growing fond of the other #8 - getting used to the other's company and being completely thrown when they're suddenly in a situation on their own #9 - making time to have dates to get to know the other better because you should know your spouse, right? (there's absolutely nothing romantic about it, alright?) #10 - biting their tongue because somehow everything they say comes out as flirty and that's not who they are, right?
Dialogue:
#11 - "We have to be married, but we don't have to pretend we are that lovey-dovey newlyweds when we're clearly not." "I'm just trying to be nice." #12 - "You... look pretty." "Really? You never said that before." "Well, then certainly I was blind." #13 - "Wow, you're actually really fun to be around." "Well, and you really have to work on your compliment skills." #14 - "You don't know how glad I am that fate brought us together. This is much more pleasant than I had thought." #15 - "I think we're doing this pretty well. I am certainly glad to have you by my side while figuring out all this being married stuff." #16 - "Who would have thought we would end up like this?" #17 - "Thank you for being so patient with me." "How I see it, marriage isn't about intense feelings and going all in for one particular moment. It's about making a promise for the future and every day to come to stick it out together and be each other's backbone. What is marriage if not patience?" #18 - "May I ask you something? Why me? It's certainly not because you were madly in love with me. So, why me?" #19 - "We're the bestest of teams, aren't we? Unstoppable! The ultimate duo!" #20 - "Even though this was meant to be a rational affair and just a wise deal, you changed my life. Marrying you was both the best and the most nerve-racking thing I could've done."
(requests: hii i was thinking could you do like a newly arranged marriage thing and like action prompts and dialogue prompts where they haven't gotten too comfortable around the other yet but they're starting to like each other or something 😭 I hope I could explain it somewhat well; Hey could you do an arranged marriage prompt where they don't hate each other but are just nervous around each other ish; arranged marriage secret affection prompts?)
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neo-nomatrix · 11 months
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Just Stay
Miguel O’hara x reader
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word count: 885
synopsis: miguel is never there when you need him the most
warnings: SMUT!! not super explicit but a lot of dialogue and some descriptions
You’ve become used to waking up in an empty bed. Miguel was never next to you in the morning. Eventually you stopped reaching your hand to the left side of the bed, his side of the bed. Some part of you was always disappointed, though. There was still a small ache in your heart not being able to greet him in the morning.
“Are you going to work tomorrow?” You ask him, playing with the food on your plate.
“You know I have to,” he dismisses you, turning back to washing his plate.
You stay silent and fidget with your fork.
“You have me for tonight. Isn’t that enough?”
No, you want to respond. Of course that isn’t enough.
“Of course it is,” you smile.
On nights like these, which are most nights, Miguel doesn’t just fuck you. He makes love to you. He treats you so well you forget it’s his way of saying goodbye. He tells you he loves you and then doesn't even care enough to say good morning. Maybe he hopes you forget about it or forgive him. And you hate yourself for loving him so much to not care.
“Ay, i fucking love you, Cariño,” Miguel says so sweetly in your ear. Making your eyes roll to the back of your head.
The mix of your moans and his grunts drown out everything else. The world around you is completely blurred as he thrusts in and out of you. You could describe his kisses as sloppy but in truth they’re not. They’re given with such love and adoration for the brief moment you forget he doesn’t mean it.
“Say it, say it back,” he practically growls in your ear. His hands grip your waist, one slowly coming up to your neck squeezing.
“I-I love you,” you say reluctantly. Tears spotting in the corner of your left eye.
Your arms wrap around his neck and you grip at his broad shoulders. Hands scraping over the scars you scratched on his back the night before. He pushes his head into the crook of your neck to suck on your neck. His teeth digging into your neck and leaving marks everywhere.
He fucks you like he loves you. And you just can’t tell if he means it. Your hands pull at his hair as he finishes inside of you, pulling you in for one more kiss. Allowing his moans to melt inside of you.
Afterwards, you let him take care of you. You let him carry you to the bathroom and you let him tuck you into bed. You let him kiss you on the forehead and pull you to his chest as he gets into bed with you. You fall asleep in his arms fully knowing it won’t be like this when you wake up.
So of course, it surprises you when you wake up to Miguel’s arms around you. His breath on the back of your head and his arms squeezing around you like he’s afraid you’re going to run away while he’s not looking.
“You’re still here,” you whisper, half hoping he wasn’t awake.
“I know I'm not around a lot anymore. I’m trying, really,” he responds, loosening his grip on you.
“That doesn’t fix everything else.” You get out of bed and face him.
“I know it doesn’t. I know how much I've messed up, believe me.”
He sits up on his elbows, the duvet cover falling perfectly at his waist revealing his toned stomach. God, it is hard to be mad at that six pack.
“I hate the way you treat me, you know that? You’re never around and I fuckin hate it. When i’m alone and- and sad you’re supposed to be there to tell me it’s all gonna be okay but you’re not! And I am so sick of it. I want to be happy. I understand how important being Spiderman is but you have to learn to balance it out okay? Or else I can't do this anymore,” you exhale. Finally letting out what you’ve been wanting to say for months.
“You’re giving me an ultimatum?” He clarifies.
“Yes! I am! and you are in no position to question me,” you state.
“I get that, I do Cariño. But what I do decides the fate of the world. Of everyone, including you,” he tries to reason.
“Maybe we just shouldn’t be together then. If it’s that important. I shouldn’t be a distraction from that” you turn away from him. Unable to make eye contact with him.
You take his silence as an answer. You’re facing the wall, you’re hands on the edge of a desk. Biting your lower lip, wondering what’s going to happen next. After a few seconds you turn around to an empty room. The door just an inch open. He left.
He fucking left you. Again.
You’ve come to learn that Miguel will leave and abandon you when you need him the most. And you know that’s not what you deserve. But you also know that you love him, and that he hopefully loves you just as much.
You hate yourself for loving him. And he hates himself for hurting you. Maybe there’s a universe where the two of you are happy with each other, truly happy. No matter how much it hurts, you know you will love each other in every universe.
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ofswordsandpens · 4 months
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I've enjoyed episode 3 the most so far, but I think the show is still struggling to find a good balance between taking itself seriously and the absurdist humor that RR writes with. My main takeaways:
The Fight Scenes (or Lack Thereof?)
It seems very peculiar to me that the show is just speed running through its battle scenes. Again, it feels very much like the product of Disney trying to sanitize anything that's too extreme?
The trio fleeing from the kindly ones in the book ended with Percy taking control of the bus and then crashing it. It explodes. They lose all of their stuff (money, food). In the show, they simply bail out the back window. No true panic. No tension. Just, okay :) we're leaving now :)
The Medusa Scene. I'll speak more to this later, but in terms of the fight we get to see... well we get to see nothing. Apparently this fight required us to view it through the lens of the invisibility cap (ie. not at all),
I understand this show is intended for a younger audience, but the books are as well. Even the movies, which are pg, came up with better ways to show things without necessarily showing things. As a result, it feels like anything that might induce the slightest bit of tension or fear are sanded down and its honestly doing such a disservice to the books and the audience.
Medusa
I actually really liked this portrayal of Medusa. The 1950s housewife vibe landed well for me. And I loved the actress's voice -- very soft and soothing but always sounding as if she were just about to cry.
Also, I really liked her dialogue. Her digs at Athena and Poseidon were perfectly tragic.
That being said, I really prefer the trio's arrival to the emporium in the book. In the books, they've been wandering the woods and are lost and exhausted and hungry because of the battle/bus crash where they've lost all of their stuff. It almost feels like the emporium popping up "out of nowhere" was more of it finding them.
Meanwhile in the show, Grover finds it through scent on a satyr path and they immediately know its Medusa, which imo takes out so much of the fun of it all??? In the books, they dont know. Grover's just like, freaking the ever living fuck out, and clearly Percy and Annabeth have let him take sole custody of the shared brain cell, cause they're more concerned about getting some food than anything else
Just... RIP dumbass shenanigans
And honestly, I'm not really sure what necessitated the change here in the show (of them not being tricked). It would have been one thing if they were going to change Medusa entirely to not wanting to harm them at all, but imo, I think its arguable/evident that show Medusa was looking for an excuse to petrify Annabeth and Grover (at minimum) regardless of anything.
Honestly, I would have had the show loosely play it out as: book arrival (they dont know its Medusa), keep the dumbass energy and banter, the trio figures out it Medusa while they're eating, Medusa is the more sympathetic version we see in the show, regardless it still ends with the battle.
Also, I do mourn the book battle. The panic and absurdity is just handled better imo. Annabeth shoving them off the bench, Grover flopping all over the place with the shoes but actively getting a good few hits in, Percy having to use to the reflection to behead her... the #TeamWork was emphasized a little more there to me.
Characterization
I think the show is absolutely nailing certain parts of the characters.
They've gotten Percy's anger and his derision towards the gods down. But, I think they're actually underscoring some of his, idk, sincerity? His kindness? It was the line "she met a pinecone's fate" that just rang off to me. While undoubtedly funny, it's just such a stark difference from his reaction to Thalia's story in the books, where he was unsettled by her fate and felt a sincere sympathy for her. The line in the show I assume is meant to criticize the gods, but still, it feels like it comes at the expense of the sensitivity that he has.
They've gotten Annabeth's bluntness, intelligence, pride, and superiority down cold. No question about it. But I feel like they just need to let her be more of a 12yo kid?
Like. In canon she and Percy banter and argue over the silliest of things. She plays hacky sack with Grover and Percy. She blushes and hyperventilates when Luke interacts with her. Episode 3 is like the first time we've gotten to see her do something remotely childish (buying all that candy) and I'm just dying for more of that!! She's not the "mom" of the group and she has her canon dumbass moments. I'm hoping more of this is captured moving forward. They've gotten a good start on the banter, but let Annabeth be more silly! Cause she is!
(Absolutely none of my personal qualms about the characterization are Walker or Leah's fault. They've done amazing. It's the writing/directing I'm side-eyeing).
OH! And I'm sorry but Percy being like "Annabeth we're going to bury medusa with your hat on" would have never ever flown with Annabeth. In no world.
But Grover eating them up at the end? Iconic. Good for him.
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mcflymemes · 1 year
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PROMPTS FOR DEEP CONVERSATIONS *  assorted dialogue for thoughtful discussions, adjust as necessary
do you think there's more to this?
will we ever be free?
what are you grateful for?
do you enjoy spending time with me?
when's the last time you spoke to them?
unfortunately, i know exactly how you feel.
this can't be all there is.
i believe in truth.
why are you so unhappy?
what was your first heartbreak like?
you have to trust me on this.
believe in yourself.
what's the first thing you noticed about me?
what are you doing to make the world a better place?
do you understand the gravity of this?
i think we were meant to find each other.
do you believe in a higher power?
if you could live anywhere, where would you go?
i haven't felt this way in a long time.
what are you proud of?
if you knew tomorrow was your last day, how would you spend it?
i can't go on like this.
we have to take a chance.
i never gave up on you.
love is the most powerful thing in the universe.
every time i look at you, i see my future.
that was a life lesson. i learned it the hard way.
i can't help but think i should have done more.
do you believe in fate?
if a genie gave you three wishes, what would you ask for?
i've always wondered about that.
at what point are we good enough?
who are you, really?
if you had a million dollars right now, what would you do first?
maybe this will make you change.
things feel different here.
life doesn't make sense.
i'm not perfect. none of us are.
sure, it's scary, but we can't stop now.
it's easier said than done.
i think you can do it.
who broke you?
how do you know when you're in love?
i know that's not the answer you were hoping for.
i wish i knew what was waiting for me.
would you change anything about me?
i've never seen it like that.
we have to keep moving. we can't slow down.
you've really opened my eyes.
has anyone ever broken your heart?
this could lead us to infinite opportunities.
what would you have done differently?
i have so much faith in you.
who was your first love?
i can take care of myself.
i think you should follow your dreams.
you've changed my life in ways i can't explain.
they always said you were different.
i'm not giving up hope.
how can we make the world a better place?
i want to leave a mark on the world. do you?
how do you feel about it?
how would people describe you?
do you ever say no?
were you expecting something else?
who do you compare yourself to?
do you believe in aliens?
i'm not a child anymore.
do you think we were meant to be together?
i trust you with my life.
you are so much stronger than you realize.
if you could say anything to them right now, what would you say?
i didn't know places this beautiful even existed.
do you remember the dream you had last night?
i don't think we're alone in the universe.
love is the answer.
that's all there is.
do you love them? i mean really love them?
we can't sit around and wait for our lives to happen to us.
have you ever been in love?
do you believe in justice?
i won't give up on them.
you inspire me every day, you know.
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brigdh · 7 months
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I want to talk about Izzy's rant to Ed in episode 10, the one that brings out the Kraken. I've seen a lot of different descriptions of what is going on in this scene – death threat, homophobic slurs, etc – and I don't think either of those are what's actually what's happening.
Let's look at it closely, line by line, and the way Ed reacts, from the very beginning of the scene.
Ed: Well, feels nice to tidy up a little. Can't believe I was living like this. Can you, Iz? Izzy? Izzy: I'm going to speak plainly. Ed: Wonderful. You know we share our thoughts on this ship.
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Izzy, cont: This, whatever it is that you've become... is a fate worse than death.
Okay. So there we've got what some have interpreted as a death threat. But does Ed seem threatened? He's startled, certainly, put on his back foot – literally – but he doesn't look afraid or alarmed to me. He draws in a slow breath, assessing the situation, but overall seems more confused than frightened.
In fact he laughs it off with his next line:
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Izzy then escalates the level of aggression in the conversation:
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But Ed, again, looks more confused than anything. Check out that furrowed brow, that head tilt! This is a man going "what is your deal?", not a man thinking "uh-oh, you might kill me!".
Extremely noticeably, even when Izzy storms right up into his face, Ed holds steady. He doesn't run, doesn't lean back, doesn't hunch his shoulders or drop eye contact – there is no vulnerability or defensiveness in Ed's body language at all. Ed is in supreme control of this confrontation – look at the slow way he deigns to turn back to the paper Izzy's holding! As though he's making the point that he chooses when to turn, not Izzy:
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Then we have the "homophobic slur". But watch closely:
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Ed does not react to "namby-pamby", "silk gown", or "pining" at all. He doesn't even blink. He barely seems like he's hearing Izzy. His entire attention is on the picture.
Ed's body language and behavior changes at one word and one word only, and that is "boyfriend". As soon as Izzy says it, Ed's furious:
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(It's even easier to notice when you actually watch the scene instead of using gifs, because Izzy really draws out 'piiiiiiining', putting a lot of time between the first half of the sentence and 'boyfriend'.)
Why is the use of the word 'boyfriend' so important?
Well, what has Ed been doing all episode? He's been crying in a blanket fort and singing sad songs, yes, but he's been keeping a careful level of mystique about why he's doing it. Ed often uses distanced circumlocutions instead of directly acknowledging his emotions, but he's doing it in this episode even more so than usual:
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Here are the lyrics to his song:
(Version one, with Lucius) Hanging on By a thread Hanging on Shouldn't let go If I let go, all will fall Fingers bleeding down to the bone now Can't let go Nothing makes sense Hold on Hold on Hold... on
(Version two, performed for the whole crew) Just let go Make yourself let go Make it go away Away, away today Life's a hard sad death And then you're Deaaad
Notice something? There is no mention of Stede, or love, or break-ups, or abandonments, or relationships in general. All Ed discusses is a vague life-sucks attitude, which could apply to basically anyone under any circumstances. He seems pretty okay with people knowing that Blackbeard is having some sort of weird emotional breakdown as long as he convinces himself that no one knows it's specifically from having his heart broken
This is true of everything Ed says and does for this entire episode. He never once even mentions Stede's name, unless "Farewell, Bonnet's playthings" at the very end counts. The only thing Ed openly admits to feeling bad about is a fictional character who's having a hard time "holding on" (holding on to what? he never says). There are no allusions to heartbreak or romance anywhere in his dialogue.
Now, Ed's not stupid. I'm sure he knows Izzy and Lucius and the rest of the crew can connect the dots and realize that something bad happened with Stede, even if Ed doesn't fill them in on the details. But Ed is also traumatized, and has a whole host of coping mechanisms set up to help him avoiding thinking about things that he doesn't want to think about. If he's not a murderer because "technically the fire killed those guys", then no one knows he's heartbroken because technically he hasn't acknowledged it.
Until Izzy says the word 'boyfriend'. Suddenly the secret is out, and Ed can't handle it. Izzy knows his weakness. That's why this word effects Ed more than anything else Izzy says in the whole scene.
At the end of the confrontation, he hears the crew calling for another song. Look at Ed here. He looks as haunted, as disturbed, in this moment as he does at any point in Izzy's rant.
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This is an important part of the scene, not just a closing note. Because if Izzy (the Caribbean's most emotionally constipated man) can see through him, obviously the whole crew can too.
Obviously Lucius – who advised Ed on his and Stede's relationship, who played along with Ed's 'fictional character' claim, who wrote down Ed's lyrics – can do so most of all.
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There's a direct emotional logic to Ed killing Lucius because he had a fight with Izzy, and it doesn't involve Ed having been threatened or hate crime'd at all. Ed doesn't deal well with his own feelings (from Stede), so he chooses to become Blackbeard/the Kraken and gets rid of all the witnesses who saw otherwise.
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jemmo · 3 months
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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game
Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:
'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'
And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".
When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.
And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.
And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:
"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."
Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.
"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."
And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.
"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."
And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.
And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.
And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.
The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.
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