#i wrote very quickly and did not edit it lol

[ghost-proofbaby]

if it were anyone else (e.m.)

warnings: strong allusions to depression, disordered eating/rough relationship with food, mentions of smoking, description of a sort of panic attack. very sad. hurt/comfort? not edited.

wc: 1.6k+

a/n: this is literally entirely self indulgent and written entirely after i sat and cried and thought "i wish i had eddie here right now to hold me". maybe in like thirty minutes tops. this is for me and only me. go figure lol. sorry. yeah. anyways.

if you relate, my askbox is always open, and i'm very sorry you've felt this way as well. i hope you all take care of yourselves. drink some water, call a friend. be kind to yourself.

“I’m worried about you.” 

Four words that always manage to strike a certain type of fear in your gut. You don’t know how to react as he says it, how he wants you to react. You can only stare blankly, you can only wish harder for the earth to swallow you whole.

“What do you mean?” you laugh nervously, following it with a hard swallow.

You’re playing dumb. You know it, he knows it. The tremor in your bones and your numb appendages know it, too. 

“You’re…” Eddie stalls, licking his lips, letting his eyes rake over you, “You’re getting bad again.” 

You’re quick to shake your head, forcing another hollow chuckle from your chest, “It’s not that bad. I’m fin-”

“You’re not fine.”

The look in his eyes could crack your spine if you stare too long. Wet eyes, a trembling bottom lip, worry lines etched into his forehead that you realize might be caused by you.

You’re causing him worry. The last thing you want to do, you’ve accomplished. You’re on a fast-track to becoming a burden – the first step is always acceptance. 

You’re still unsure of how he wants – no, needs you to react right now. This conversation is a landmine for both of you, and you hold every breath with every step as you try to navigate it. If you make one wrong step, it could cause an explosion that spares no survivors.

You don’t mind if it tears you apart limb by limb. You do mind if it hurts him. 

“How… How do you know that?” 

It’s not a sarcastic snipping or defensive deterrence. It’s an unfiltered response of genuineness – you want to know the signs, you want to know what has exposed the rot this time.

And then, maybe next time, you’ll be able to better shield it from him with this knowledge. 

“How could I not?” he takes a deep breath in through his nose, and you focus on the flare of his nostrils rather than any of the tears beginning to gather at his waterlines, “It’s been happening for a while now, though, hasn’t it?” 

Your throat is a cage, tight and restrictive and ringing with a bitter metallic taste in its tenseness. You can’t respond with words. You can only nod. 

He chooses to answer your question more properly now that you’ve admitted it, “You’re cold all the time again. You’re always sleeping too much or too little. You’re smoking again, running yourself into the ground. Picking up distractions like they’re going out of style.”

“Hey, they might be. We never know-” you cut yourself off when your eyes meet his. Now’s not the time for jokes, “Sorry. I… I know. I’m sorry.” 

He’s right. Fuck, he’s right. 

“I want to ask you something, and I need you to answer me honestly,” his own steps across these landmines are just as delicate, just as feathery light, as your own. You hear it in his tone, see it in his body language. You wish your body could sink into the mattress you’re sitting on the edge of as he crouches in front of you, warm palms connecting with your knees. Grounding you. Tethering you. Holding you back from that sinking you crave. “Are you… Sweetheart, are you okay?”

If anybody else had built up to such a stupid question, you would have laughed in their face. You would have shoved those warm palms right off of your skin and you would have thrown up those ice cold hands of your own, shouted obviously not. 

Obviously not. I’m not okay. I’m so far from okay, it’s a bit comical. I am drowning. I am treading in freezing cold waters and I am barely capable of keeping my head above the waves. My engine is fucked, my tank is empty. I don’t think I’d even know how to be ‘okay’ again if you did manage to pull this mangled body of mine from these depths and sat me down on safe, solid ground again. 

You can’t say any of this, though. Not because you don’t trust him, not because he would judge you. But because the moment he asks the question that should make you scoff, you let out a sob instead. Something like a muffled, broken wail that tears from deep within you. It had already been ready and poised, laying in wait for a perfect moment like this one to escape. 

His eyes aren’t the only glossy ones anymore. 

“I-” you start, breathing already stuttering and chest already constricting, “I- I-”

“Hey,” he palms smooth up your thighs, carrying their warmth with them, as if he were trying to spread it across you. As if he had heard your thoughts. As if he already knew all about those dark, treacherous, freezing waters you were stranded in. All you can do is spew out another cry, strangled as you tried to swallow it down before it entered the atmosphere between you two, “Hey.” 

You only notice the tears when you crumple forward and he meets you halfway. Those warm palms, those hands so capable of safety and promise, cup your cheeks and his thumbs make quick work of swiping away the salty streams. 

“Hey, baby, breathe for me,” his voice is tragically gentle, “Just one deep breath, okay?” 

To demonstrate, you watch his chest expand dramatically, his hands forcing you to keep your eyes on him. 

You can’t see through the bleariness. 

“C’mon, sweetness,” he encourages again, “One breath. Just one.” 

If it were anyone else, you’d turn into a fit of rage at the coddling. You’d break everything in sight. You’d scream until your already burning lungs finally collapsed as they’d been yearning to for so long. 

But it’s him. It’s just him, it’s just Eddie. 

His chest rises dramatically again, and this time, yours does as well, albeit through stifling hiccups. You’re dizzy from the lack of oxygen and the flood of emotion that was wrecking you. 

“There you go!” his voice rises ever so slightly, and when you flinch a bit at the sudden volume, he retracts, “Sorry, sorry. But that’s it, sweetheart. Another one, okay?” 

Another breath. Another sob. Another wave of all the pain you’ve been battling off. 

You’re cold all the time again. You’re always sleeping too much or too little. You’re smoking again, running yourself into the ground.

He was right and it fucking killed you. None of those are things you could ever shield him from. You didn’t have the heart to pull away those numb and icey fingertips every time he’d reach out for your hand, or try to cover the shivers that managed to rack your bones even in the middle of summer. The sleeping situation had been spiraling, a pendulum of sleepless nights that would end in a sleep so deep that you could have been mistaken for resting with the dead. Maybe the smoking you could have hid, especially when you’d been so boastful about quitting. 

You weren’t running yourself into the ground. You had already collapsed into the dirt, you had already joined the worms. You’d buried yourself alive, six feet under, and nothing could have stopped him from sniffing out that scent of decay on you. 

The death of a soul and mind. The death of the thing that had propelled you forward for so long. No amount of sweet perfume, or hour long scalding showers, or minty gum to occupy your mind rather than a proper meal, can erase that stench. 

You never could have shielded him. He always saw right through you. Always had, always would. 

“I’m sorry,” you end up crying out. 

You don’t know what you’re apologizing for, but you echo the words again. Over and over, on repeat, until he’s rising from the ground. Until he’s sat beside you. Until his arms are suddenly encasing you and you’re awarded a warmth you didn’t feel deserving of. 

He doesn’t smell like the decay you’d surrounded yourself with. He smells like slow waking in the morning, dreary and calm and at a reasonable time. He smells like warm baths that only relax your bones, and don’t have to blister your skin in the process. He smells like three meals a day, all comforting and all effortless and that never linger with a sense of regret.

He’s not decay, never even treading close to death. He’s home. He’s the promise that you could be okay. Even if it isn’t right now. 

“Don’t apologize,” he murmurs into the crown of your head, squeezing you tighter into his chest, not even blinking an eye at the patch of wetness you leave behind from where your cheeks bury against him, “Never apologize. Ever. Not with me, sweetheart. Keep the sorries. I don’t need them.” 

If it were anyone else, the holding would have suffocated you. But it’s him. It’s Eddie.

You don’t fight him when he pulls you fully into his lap, situating the two of you comfortably on that mattress. 

You don’t know how long you let him cradle you like that. How much of that time is spent filled with your cries, or how many breaths he gently urges you to take with him. He never once has to verbally say what you already know; he never once promises aloud that it’ll be okay. He doesn’t put that pressure on you, not yet. Not today. Not when he knows the journey to okay is still such a long one. 

“I’ve got you,” he whispers to you instead, “I’ve got you, now, sweetheart.” 

If it were anyone else, you wouldn’t believe them. 

But it’s him. It’s Eddie. 

And he’s got you, for now and for as long as you need.

#my writing #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson comfort #idk what this is #i hope it flops because fuck is it personal ! #i wrote very quickly and did not edit it lol #like my own personal diary entry or therapy session #bleh #very niche and doubt it's relatable lol #but i'm unwell and what good am i if i can't make content #if nothing else #i can create #still good for something maybe i don't know #at least something not awful can come from this storm

[writingreadinglurkingandsmirking]

Hold Me Down (Is This A New Start?) - Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: After a long, hard day of work you just want to go home and go to bed. But, when you get a persistent knock on your door from Rafe fucking Cameron. you know you’re gonna have a long night ahead. Letting him in, after two months of not seeing him, you fully anticipated a screaming match. But, you got something much different than you bargained for—much better too.

CW/TWs: brief angst, brief mentions of Rafe being on house arrest lol, feminine pronouns used, gorgeous/sweet girl/baby/darlin' as nicknames, toxic behavior, canon-adjacent Rafe, mean-ish Rafe, smut, piv sex, oral sex (male receiving), impact play, (not really) lowkey daddy kink, brat reader, dumbification, degradation kink, praise kink, overstimulation, breath play, unprotected sex (be safe I am nawt your mom gn), allusions to a pain kink for sure, mushy gushy sweet ending, not highly edited or reviewed

Words: 8.1k+

Note: 18+ MDNI, really just fucking don’t. I wrote this one in first person because writing in second person irritates my very soul. Uhhhh so this kinda came out of left field and I did nawt plan on writing this but here we are! But such is life! Anyways…back to regularly scheduled programming.

It had been a long day - too long. There was something exceedingly exhausting about living paycheck to paycheck that the average person didn’t understand. There was nothing quite as specific as the exhaustion that you encountered by overworking yourself day after day, week after week, month after month, all for nothing. Because that’s what this all amounted to. Nothing. Nothing extra at the end of the week to take home, nothing to do anything nice with. Just nothing. And nothing sucked the joy out of your day like knowing you’d have to get up the next day and do it all over again.

When I’d finally gotten home from a shift that didn’t end until almost the crack of fucking dawn - a good twelve hours after I was supposed to have gotten off shift - there was not a thing I wanted more than to sleep. Still, even as I sat on my fucking couch, my woes could not end. There was a loud, demanding knock on the door.

The first time I ignored it.

The second time I ignored it.

The third time, an annoyed voice accompanied the knock.

“Baby, open the fucking door,” came the snarl from the other side. I groaned and ran my hands down my face. I really didn’t want to deal with Rafe today. Not like that had ever deterred him before. “Baby, come on. Listen. Please. The cops are fucking trolling around outside. Baby, please open the door.”

I groaned and pulled myself to my feet, opening the apartment door. Standing there, looking at pitiful as ever was Rafe fucking Cameron. The bane of my existence. My more-or-less on-again-off-again boyfriend—though I’d sooner bash my head against the door than admit that. I glared at the ass who had done nothing but make my life harder since he’d entered it. Then, I stepped to the side and let him in. He stepped in and closed the door quickly, locking it behind him. He turned to me and pressed an absent-minded kiss to my forehead before going to sit down on the couch.

“You look like shit, darlin’,” he said. When he even had the decency to look up and notice I was there.

“Thanks,” I said dryly. I looked down at his leg. His ankle monitor looked fucked. “What the fuck did you do this time?”

“Just a little mod,” he said casually. “I needed to get out for a minute.”

“Why did you come here?” I demanded. “Did you stash more fucking coke in my house I swear to fucking God I will kill you. I am not catching a fucking charge for you, asshole.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why would I leave my coke with you knowing that you’d throw it out, baby? That’s just bad business. Besides, darlin’ the cops aren’t outside for me some loser is probably getting caught selling a few doors down again. And hey? It’s a crime to want to see you now, darlin’?” he asked, winking.

“No. But it is a crime to skip out on house arrest, Rafe,” I said blandly. “And I know damn well that you’re not here because you want to see me. I’m just convenient to you like fucking always.”

He rolled his eyes as if I were being the dramatic one. “What’s wrong now, gorgeous?” he drawled. “Always seems like there’s something these days, hmm?”

I clenched my jaw. “Fuck you, Rafe. Get the hell out,” I snapped.

Rafe frowned. Stood again and walked over to me. He placed his hands on my hips, refusing to leave. I, in turn, refused to look at him. “Look at me, darlin’,” he demanded. Reluctantly I did. “What’s wrong?” I didn’t answer. He brushed my hair back from my face and just kept looking at me. “Come on, sweet girl. Tell me…what’s wrong.” He smiled to himself when I still didn’t answer. “You know better than anyone I’m not going to leave until you tell me, baby…so come on…what’s wrong with my sweet girl?”

“Fuck you,” I repeated weakly, pulling out of his arms. I plopped down on my couch, curling into myself and closing my eyes. “Just fucking leave when you see the cops are gone. I can’t be bothered today.” The asshole had the audacity to laugh at my words. “Shut the fuck up, Rafe.”

Dramatically, Rafe sighed and knelt down on the ground in front of me. I felt him grab my knees and pull me to face him. I had no choice but to unfurl, otherwise, I would’ve fallen into him, which I had no interest in doing. So, I leaned back into the couch, trying to ignore the heat of his hand sinking into my cold legs through worn jeans. It was hard to ignore that. Hard to ignore any of him, really. And he knew that. That’s why he only waited through my stubborn silence for a few minutes.

“Come on, baby,” he hummed. “Tell me what’s wrong. I’m sorry I’m a dick, darlin’…you know I care.”

I laughed weakly, eyes still closed. “No. No, you don’t,” I said flatly.

He ignored my words and kept rubbing my legs. “It’s so fucking cold in here, baby,” he commented. “And your legs are freezing. Your heat not working?”

“No, it's working. It’s just too fucking expensive to heat this shitty goddamn apartment and I’m not forking over more money to the cunt landlord,” I said sharply, glaring at him. “Did you suddenly forget what life is like if—” I cut myself off, shaking my head.

He had the audacity to glare back if you could believe it. Then, he slapped my inner thigh. “I told you to call me if you needed help,” he hissed. He slapped my other thigh. “The fuck are you doing? What game are you playing at, baby?”

I pushed him away from me with my foot. “A game where I don’t need to rely on a man who is a fucking wannabe felon,” I snapped.

He rolled his eyes and got to his feet. “Newsflash, baby, you do need me,” he said, sounding way too smug about it.

“Fuck you, Rafe. I need a bullet to the brain more than I need you,” I sneered.

“That’s cute.” He continued on like I didn’t even speak in the first place. “I could give you that, if you want. But that doesn’t change anything about it, darlin’. You need my money, you need my cock, you need my love. You’ve said it yourself that no one gives it to you as good as I do. And I know you haven’t been looking which means you’re still as invested in this as I am. So.” He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. “When I tell you if you need my fucking money to heat your stupid apartment because your ass is too stubborn to move in with me…then you fucking call me.”

“You are not my fucking father,” I snapped, pulling out of his tough.. “Like I said. Bullet to the fucking brain before this shit anymore. I’m sick of it.”

“I don’t know. You do call me daddy a lot,” he mocked. He smiled down at me, but there was hardly any warmth to it. “But, oh? You’re so sick of it, hmm? You want to be brainless?” He laughed. “Well, I can make you brainless without having to put a hole in your pretty little head.” He wound his hand tightly in my hair, pulling my face towards his while I sharply inhaled. “And you’ll remember exactly why you’re not done with me, gorgeous.”

I glared at him. “I haven’t seen you in two months. The last time I did see you, you called me a stupid, worthless cunt and told me that you never wanted to see me again. And you think you can just show up here and get me to listen to you?” I demanded. I felt my face heating with my frustration. “Just like that? You think you’re…you think you’re worth me listening to?” I laughed. “Like I said. Fuck you, Rafe. I deserve…I deserve so much better than this. Than you.”

There was a mocking pout on his face. He reached out and grabbed my face again, squeezing my chin. “You think you’re going to find someone better than me?” he asked incredulously. He let out a laugh. “And where do you think you’ll find someone like that?” I didn’t answer. I refused to give him the satisfaction. He chuckled, but then his face went serious. “I’m sorry that I haven’t seen you in months, darlin’. I’m sorry that I said I never wanted to see you again. I was pissed, sweet girl. I didn’t mean it.”

“Oh you never mean it,” I said, the sarcasm’s impact dampened by the tearful sound of my voice.

He moved his hand from my chin to cup my face. I hated myself for it, but I did lean into the touch. “Come on, sweet girl…don’t be like that, baby,” he said. He leaned forward and dropped a kiss to the side of my neck. “You know that I love you.” Another kiss, followed by a short nip. “I’ve been busy, darlin’. That’s all. I’m sorry. I should’ve called, sweet girl. I know that. I’m not mad.”

“You were mad,” I accused, glaring at him.

“I was mad, baby,” he said, deceptively calm. “I was…frustrated that you wouldn’t let me take care of you. I just want what’s best for you. But I’m not mad anymore.”

“Well maybe I’m mad at you,” I retorted, harshness still lessened by the teary voice and the way I leaned into him.

“That’s okay,” he practically cooed. He pressed another kiss to my neck then moved so we were face to face, just a breath between us. He smirked, eyes drifting down to my lips and then back up. “You can be mad at me as long as you want, sweet girl. Just as long as you tell me that you love me.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. “No,” I said stubbornly.

“Come on, sweet girl, please,” Rafe purred, stroking my neck with his hand lazily. “I love you, darlin’.”

“I love you,” I said, voice breaking. My eyes popped open and I felt the tears in them.

Rafe’s smirk didn’t waver, but his eyes did soften. He let out a hum and wiped a tear that slipped. “There’s my sweet girl,” he cooed. He leaned forward and pressed a long, languid kiss to my lips. “Let me make it up to you, baby.” Another long kiss—lazier this time. “Let me apologize for calling you names, baby.” Another kiss. “Remind you that you’re my special, sweet girl.”

I huffed. “Oh so you wanna fuck me and suddenly I’m not a stupid, worthless cunt then?” I spat, voice dripping insecurity.

Rafe rolled his eyes so hard I was shocked that his eyes didn’t stick in the back of his head. “You’re not a stupid, worthless cunt. You’re my sweet girl and you know it,” he drawled. “I was a little fucking high when I said that. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

I gave him a withering glare. “Oh and you’re not high now?” I asked even though I could already tell he wasn’t. He gave me a flat look and I deflated, leaning back, covering my face as I leaned against the arm of the couch. I sniffled. “Okay, I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. I didn’t mean it.”

He chuckled dryly and rubbed my leg gently. “It’d be fair if you did,” he drawled. He squeezed my leg. “And it’s fine that it’s not fair, sweet girl. I wasn’t fair. So.” He grabbed my legs and lowered them both to the floor. He gently pried my legs open leaning further into my space, hands dancing up both my thighs now. “How about I be real nice and make it up to you?”

“No,” I said stubbornly, glaring half-heartedly down at him. I felt his hand toy with the waist of my jeans, dancing just over the button. “I don’t want you to.”

Rafe raised an eyebrow, unconvinced considering I’d begun to lean into his space more, opening my legs to give him more space to occupy, more space to get closer. “Oh?” he posed, tone almost mocking. “You don’t want to?”

“No,” I corrected, grabbing his hand, putting it back on my hair to silently prompt him to grab it just as he did before. “I don’t want you to be nice.” I glowered at him .”It’s been two months, Rafe. I need…”

He let out a low chuckle, eyes dark with quickly emerging lust. “Fuck, darlin’, tell me…what do you need?” he asked.

I blinked slowly, still looking right into his eyes, intoxicated by him already from such a short time together. “I need you to take care of me like you always do,” I said quietly.

Immediately, his hand wound tightly through my hair and he rose to his feet, forcing me to tilt my head up. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I looked up at him, my eyes wide and wanting. I bit my lip, eyes trailing slowly down his body, to his belt at my eye level, and then back up. He chuckled again, grinning down at me. He wound his hand a bit tighter in my hair making me let out a squeak as he dragged me just a bit closer to his body.

“You need me to take care of you?” he posed, tone just shy of mocking. “Need me to help turn off that gorgeous fucking brain of yours, baby?” He used his free hand to trail down my cheek, fingers briefly touching my neck and stopping there. “Need me to fuck you stupid, sweet girl?”

Taking a shaky breath, I reached out, hand loosely holding his belt buckle. “Yes,” I said breathlessly.

I reveled in the sudden, sharp sting in my cheek. “Try again,” he warned, voice raspy.

“Yes…please fuck me stupid, daddy,” I said, batting my eyes up at him. “I don’t wanna think anymore.”

“Fuck,” Rafe muttered, his voice raspier still, thick with lust. He chuckled and loosened his hand in my hair before dropping it. He took his shirt off and then knotted a hand back in my hair. “Okay, baby. I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of my sweet girl.” He stroked my cheek gently with his free hand before moving it to his belt buckle and undoing it with ease. He then smirked down at me, inclining his head. “Well? Take me out, darlin’.” I glanced down at his open belt but he tutted, tilting my chin back up. “No, baby. Keep your eyes on me.” His request was one that was most easy for me to accommodate considering I felt like I’d die if I looked away from him.

My hands trembled as I reached forward, taking the belt off of him. I was ready to throw it to the side but Rafe held out a hand. Without even questioning it, I placed it in his hand. He then set it to the side and gestured with his head at me to continue. Which, I happily did. I heard him let out a quiet chuckle as I undid the button on his pants and brought down the zipper without breaking eye contact. I almost hastily pulled down the fabric until it sagged the rest of the way down. I raised my eyebrows at Rafe in a silent plea.

“What, baby?” he asked, amused, tightening his grip on my hair. I let out a weak whine and pouted. “What? You gotta tell me what you want, sweet girl. Use your words.”

“I wanna see your cock,” I responded, hooking my hand on the hem of the waistband of his boxers. I tilted my head to the side, jutting my bottom lip out further. “Please, daddy.”

He let out a dark chuckle. “Okay, baby,” he drawled. I hummed, pleased with myself, and looked down, prepared to take his boxers off. But, he tutted, turning my head up with his grip on my hair so I’d meet his eyes again. “Nuh, uh, darlin’. Keep those gorgeous eyes on me still. Don’t you dare even think about looking at my cock yet, baby. Just get it out.”

“But—” I began to complain before being silenced with another warning slap on the cheek making me whine and pull back slightly; not that Rafe let me get very far.

“No but, baby. You listen to me. Be a good girl,” Rafe warned, tone darkening. “You know I want what’s best for you, right, sweet girl?” I nodded through teary eyes, looking back up at him. He cursed under his breath at the sight, tightening and then loosening his hand in my hair once more. “Good girl, baby. Such a good fucking girl. Now, get my cock out. And don’t even look at it.”

I shivered at the order but complied. I reached and used two fingers to gently drag the fabric of the boxers down until they too gave way, falling down past his knees. Using every bit of restraint I had, I kept my eyes locked on his, refusing to look at his dick even as it hung directly in front of my face. Rafe hummed, his free hand moving from his side to wrap around himself, pumping lazily. I swallowed, biting my tongue as a reminder to keep my eyes up. A mocking laugh fell from Rafe’s mouth at the sight and I felt my stomach tighten.

“Oh there’s my good girl,” he cooed. “She can finally fucking listen, huh? So proud of you baby. Little slut that you are, I didn't think you’d be able to do it.” I let out a tiny whimper at his words, feeling a growing, heated pit of arousal low in my stomach. I shifted slightly, just barely able to keep my eyes from falling down. He chuckled again and pursed his lips. “How about you take your clothes off for me baby? Then I’ll let you look all you want at your favorite part of me.”

“All my clothes, daddy?” I checked. He nodded. I all but raced myself to do so. I whipped off the shirt I had on with ease and shimmied out of my jeans easily enough. Sitting there in my bra and panties, Rafe told me to stop and so I paused, looking up at him. “Yes, daddy?”

“Nothing, darlin’…just wanna look at you a minute,” he said, eyes dark with lust. “So fucking pretty, baby. God on fucking high, can’t imagine what I did to deserve such a blessing.”

“Stop,” I dismissed, blushing.

“Nah, baby. You’re a fucking twelve-course meal and I plan to have all of ‘em,” he dismissed, stepping closer and grabbing my chin. “And you aren’t gonna say some dumb shit like that again. We clear, baby?”

“Yes, daddy,” I murmured, feeling his thumb ghost up to trace my bottom lip. My breath hitched in my throat and he seemed to remember himself.

He pulled away and smirked down at me. “Bra and panties off. Let me see that pretty pussy, darlin’. Been missing it so much while I was gone,” he purred. I shivered at his words but peeled them off, shivering at the cold feeling of the air against my nipples and the cool fabric of the couch against my exposed core, quickly growing wet. “Fuck you’re so pretty. Look at you…all this…just for me.” He came closer again—even more this time—and his hand loosely went around my jaw, jerking my head up. “You are just for me, aren’t you baby?” I nodded immediately. He glared, his voice gruffer. “Words, darlin’. Or I might not be inclined to be too nice to you.”

“Yes, daddy,” I said breathlessly, wide-eyed. “All yours. Just for you.” I felt my heart beating rapidly in anticipation of seeing Rafe smile down at me. “Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?” he asked, hand still hooked around my jaw.

“Can I look please?” I asked sweetly, pouting up at him.

His lips quirked into a smirk and he narrowed his eyes looking at me, appraising. “I don’t know, baby. You think I should let you?” he asked.

“Please,” I said, pouting. “I just wan’ you. Want to see you. Wanna have you.”

“Awe with my sweet girl saying all that, well how could I say no?” he drawled, removing his hand from my neck to trail back and join the other in my hair. “Go ahead and look, darlin’. Take as long as you’d like.”

Ever so slowly, I broke my eye contact with Rafe, trailing my gaze down to his dick. Rafe’s confidence even as he stood bare as the day he was born was one of the things that had initially attracted me to him. But, looking at him now, lazily pumping his hand over his cock while he smirked down at me? I don’t think that I’d ever been quite so down bad for him. Which was…concerning, maybe? Pathetic, perhaps? But I didn’t care. At that moment, with his long, thick dick just hovering right in front of me, all I could think about was how badly I wanted him. Of how long I’d wanted him…of how long I’d waited.

“What? I don’t even gotta fuck you to turn that pretty brain off anymore?” he said, voice an alluring growl as he let out a dark sort of chuckle. “Got you so trained to take my dick you don’t even try to fight it, do you sweet girl?”

I shifted at his words, suddenly feeling my core flutter at his words, clenching regrettably—miserably—around nothing. His smirk increased tenfold at that and he stepped closer so that there was practically no space between us, not that there had been much before. Now, his cock stood proudly just next to my face. Again, ever so slowly I raised my eyes to meet his again. And the desperation must’ve been clear in my gaze if the smug, self-satisfied look in his were anything to go by.

“And this was supposed to be for you,” he hummed. “My dumb little baby won’t be able to think for herself and tell me what she wants when I get started, will she?” I let out a pathetic little whimper. “You just need something in that sweet little pussy and your perfect mouth, huh?” His eyes trailed down to my lips, briefly displaying the heated desire he was feeling before moving to meet mine again. “Tell me one thing, darlin’, okay? Think your cute lil’ brain can take that?”

“Yes, daddy,” I said, voice coming out breathy. I squirmed slightly, squeezing my thighs together to avoid doing something like grinding on the couch and making him stop this before it even started.

“I don’t have too much patience before I gotta get in that tight fucking cunt, gorgeous,” he drawled. “So…tell me. You want me to eat that pretty pussy? Or do you want to choke on my cock?” He grinned, sharp-edged and shark-like. “It’s up to you.” An aborted moan came out of me at his words. The answer for me, right now, at least, was obvious. I glanced down at his dick and then back up. “Nuh uh, darlin’. You tell me which one you want.”

“I want you to fuck my throat,” I whined, looking up at him wide-eyed.

Rafe chuckled, hands tightening in my hair. “I’ll give you a pass on not addressing me properly this once because you said something so sweet, darlin’. But don’t do it again,” he said, half-mocking, half-warning. I nodded eagerly. One hand released my hair. He pat my cheek and then held my jaw tightly between two fingers. “That’s my girl.” The possessiveness dripped off his tone. “Now be good for daddy and open that fucking mouth.”

My mouth fell open without much thought after that. He grinned as I left it open, tongue sticking out just the way he liked it. His thumb pressed down on my tongue, head tilting slightly to the side as he looked at me. I moaned at even that simple feeling, my body practically trembling with want for him. But, for a good few long moments, that’s all he did, slowly pressing his thumb more against my tongue. But, after a few moments, he drew it away, using his free hand to lazily pump his cock—still only half-hard—in his hand. I inhaled shakily, eyes looking at his heavy cock, knowing the weight and feel of it without even touching it.

“Mmm,” Rafe said, letting out a leisurely sigh as he jerked himself off in front of me. “You want my dick, sweet girl?” I nodded eagerly, tongue still shamelessly hanging out of my mouth. “You want me to make you choke on my fucking cock, baby?” Again, I nodded and he groaned. “You’re so fucking sexy, darlin’, fuck.” I watched with rapt attention as a bead of pre-cum leaked from the tip of his dick. I heard Rafe chuckle not a moment later. “Holy shit are you drooling, baby? Fuck, you really want this dick, huh? Well, I don’t wanna leave you wanting.”

Rafe used the hand in my hair to bring my head closer and anchor it in place. His other hand still held his dick that he was bringing towards my awaiting mouth. The second I felt the tip of his dick touch my tongue I groaned in appreciation at finally having something, feeling myself growing wetter and wanting. Already, with him not even having touched me yet, I was a mess. Rafe knew it damn well too. He chuckled, slapping his dick against my tongue making me inhale sharply then let out a tiny little whimper.

“Should I stop teasing you baby?” he said, voice measured, even, and entirely unaffected—as if he were in a business meeting and not getting ready to ruin my throat. “Should I make sure you lose your voice tomorrow now?” I nodded as best I could while ensuring that his dick did not fall from my tongue which just made him let out another low groan. “Alright, then, baby. You asked for it. Time for you to put that fucking mouth to work.”

I barely had the time to inhale before I felt Rafe’s heavy member settling against my tongue. I let out a breathy moan, reflexively hollowing out my cheeks and bobbing my head to take him further into my mouth. I moved my hands to touch him and he slapped them away.

“No fucking hands,” he grunted, pulling my hair so I’d look up at him before pushing me down to the hilt of him, nose settling against his pelvis. He cursed and I felt his dick pulse in my mouth as he looked down at me, eyes dark and wanting. “So fucking pretty when I’m stretching your fucking mouth open, baby. Look at you. So fucking good.” My core fluttered again at his words, clenching and unclenching while I felt myself starting to dampen the couch slightly the wetter I got. “Gonna fuck your throat now, darlin’.”

With the minimal warning issued, he thrust heavily, pulling out of my mouth almost entirely before thrusting entirely back in. I forced myself to breathe through my nose, relaxing before something unfortunate could happen like my gag reflex being triggered. I moaned around him, using my tongue as little as I could find myself able to when he started to consistently, aggressively thrust himself to the back of my throat. I whimpered at the feeling, grinding absent-mindedly against the rough fabric of the couch, letting my tongue trace along the vein on the underside of his dick.

Rafe caught sight of my desperate rutting against the couch and he let out a dark, slightly breathless chuckle without interrupting the pace of his thrusting. “God, look at my desperate fucking baby. What, is daddy not taking care of you fast enough? Fuck,” he grunted. “You wanna grind like a desperate, needy, brainless little toy? I should make you fucking get off of my thigh without me touching you?” My choked whine of displeasure at the threat made him let out another mean sort of laugh. “Don’t worry, darlin’. That’s gonna be for later.” I let out another whine at the promise then. “Yeah, baby. Gonna make you get yourself off on my leg and then I’m gonna eat your pussy so good. Gonna make you cum for me at least five times before I stop. I’ll fucking tie you up if I gotta, gorgeous. Gonna make my sweet girl so overstimulated she’s not gonna think ‘bout anything but my fucking cock…my fucking mouth…my fucking hands.” Each word was punctuated by a pointed thrust down my throat. “As if you think about anything else, my dumb little fuckin’ baby, yeah?”

When he pulled out of my mouth entirely, releasing my hair, I reflexively gasped in a breath of air, eyes wide and watering. I looked up at him. But, Rafe was still non-plussed by how fucked out I already was. He wasn’t even pausing, barely breaking even a bead of sweat across his gorgeous, obscenely perfect body. No, instead, he knelt down in front of me, one hand making its way immediately to my pussy and finding my clit like two ends of a magnet attracting to each other. He let out a low tutting sound, shaking his head at me as I bucked my hips against his hand before I could stop myself.

“So fucking sloppy, pretty girl. Is this all for me?” he asked, his voice both teasing and harsh. “Barely even done anything to you, baby. You’re just that much of a needy little fuckin’ slut for me, huh?” I let out a high-pitched keening noise and he hummed, wrapping his hand around my throat to make me focus on him even as he slipped two thick digits inside of me. “You want me, baby?” His voice was husky, rasping and his alluring eyes were locked intently on me.

“Yes, daddy,” I whined, voice weak around the whining and moans that I couldn’t help but release as he finger fucked me into oblivion. Even with so little direct stimulation, I felt my legs starting to tremble and my stomach starting to tighten, coiling and ready to barrel quickly towards release. Rafe could tell too based on the way my pussy was practically trying to swallow his fingers whole. “Please.”

“Please what, sweet girl?” he cooed, pretending like he didn’t already know damn well what I wanted.

“Fuck me,” I begged.

“Oh but you sound so pretty when you’re whining, gorgeous,” he groaned. “And I need you to be nice and fuckin’ ready for me. So I need you to cum for me before I fuck you.” My stomach tightened further just on the edge of sweet, sweet release that I’d been missing the past two months while he was missing on fucking house arrest. “Okay, baby?”

“Okay,” I sobbed, hips trying to buck even as he used his massive hand to direct my hips to keep the rhythm he wanted, the other tightening around the outside of my throat, making my eyes roll.

“Good girl,” he huffed. He paused his speech a moment, his fingers moving even faster, making me choke out a sobbing moan, head falling back until he squeezed my throat again in warning, making me lift my head. He then issued a command. A single word. “Cum.”

And who was I to disobey?

The coil in my stomach exploded into a mirage of light behind my eyes as they rolled back. I felt a slightly shrill shriek erupt from my mouth more than I actually heard myself. And all that I could think of beyond the veil and haze of pleasure was the feeling of Rafe’s hands, his skin so close to me. He supported my body as I slumped against him, both of his hands moving to rest low on my hips.

“Good job, gorgeous. You look so fucking pretty falling apart for me,” he encouraged, his voice an appreciative, warm grumble of affection. His hands ghosted up and down my sides. “You ready for me to fuck you, pretty little thing?”

“Yes, daddy,” I said, letting out a long, shaky sigh. I reached out, hands trailing up the planes of his solid chest, leaning my head on him to listen to his steady, calm heartbeat. “Thank you, daddy.”

“Of course, baby,” he said. I could hear the smugness in his voice but I didn’t care. He leaned me back on the couch and moved to get up. I let out a whine of dissatisfaction and grabbed his hand tightly, pulling him back towards me. He looked amused as he raised a brow. “I have to go get a condom, sweet girl.”

“No,” I said stubbornly.

“No?” he asked.

“Have you been fucking bitches on house arrest?” I asked, bottom lip jutting out.

He reached out, pulling my lip down and looking at it in undisguised intrigue. “No,” he admitted.

“Well, then you haven’t worn a condom with me before. So fuck’s sake, Rafe just fuck me,” I demanded.

Rafe’s eyes had a hardened sort of glee to them. His hand moved before I registered it and my head turned as his palm made contact with my cheek. Again, my core clenched around nothing. This time, I bit back the moan that threatened to escape.

“Who?” he warned, sounding all too happy to remind me of my place.

“Fuck me, daddy,” I reiterated, still with an extreme attitude. “Fuck me, don’t pull out cum in me, I don’t care. Just fuck me, daddy.”

“Drop the attitude,” Rafe said, a final warning.

“No,” I spat, knowing exactly where it would get me. You know, right where I wanted.

Instead of slapping me again as I’d first expected, Rafe tilted my head up with just his pointer finger under my chin, his shark-like smile back again. “Do you want to be punished, baby?” he asked, sounding all too eager. I offered no answer. He used his free hand and slapped me, harder this time. I couldn’t bite back the moan this time, or the way that my hand tried to drift between my legs. He caught my wrist easily to stop me. “Answer me or I’m gonna stop. I’ll walk out the fucking door, darlin’.” My bottom lip quivered at the thought, chest heaving. “Do you want a punishment, baby?”

“Y-yes, daddy,” I admitted after another stubborn moment.

“Well why didn’t you say so, darlin’,” he cooed sarcastically.

In a flurry of movement, Rafe sat on the couch and had me over his knee. My bare, soaked cunt made contact with his hard knee and I choked on a moan at that feeling. I barely had time to register the change in position before he landed his first hit on my ass. I yelped at the feeling, reflexively trying to squirm away from the pain, even as I felt a jolt of pleasure at the feeling. Rafe held my hips in place easily with one hand, keeping me firmly on his lap, and used the other to lay a hard slap against my ass, making me yelp again.

“That feel fucking good baby?” he grunted, slapping me again. I didn’t answer, a sharp, hissing inhale coming from my mouth. Another slap. Another whimper. “You should be fucking thanking me for this, darlin’. Disciplining your unruly fucking ass. Making you my good girl.”

“Thank you, daddy. Thank you, thank you. Please,” I whimpered, reflexively trying to squirm once more when his hand made contact with my ass yet again.

“Please, what, sweet girl? Remind you that you’re fucking mine? Oh, I am gonna, darlin’. This is just part of it,” he ground out. I could feel his rock-hard cock pressed against my side and I was torn between wanting it stuffed in my mouth and my pussy. Both thoughts escaped from my mind entirely as he landed another slap against my ass.

“More,” I ground out through clenched teeth, barely able to resist the urge to grind against his thigh and knee with the desperation that I was feeling.

“Needy little slut, you are, huh?” he asked, amused. His hands stopped their cyclical pattern of slapping my ass to rub the abused flesh for a moment. I felt his hand move between my legs more, teasing my entrance with his fingers. Naturally, I opened my legs for him. He chuckled at that. “Can’t wait to be stuffed with me, can you? Already brain dead to everything but me, aren’t you, sweet girl? You’re just my little plaything right now, aren’t you?” I buried my face in the couch and let out a groan, feeling his hand circling my clit again, lazily, not creating enough friction to do anything.

“Daddy, please,” I whined.

“Don’t worry, pretty little thing. I know just what you need to cum again. I decided I need two from you before I fuck this sweet little fucking pussy,” he grunted. With sudden and almost startling accuracy, Rafe slapped me again. This time, his hand made contact not with my ass but with my pussy, the sharp slap making me gasp and jerk from the pain. I let out a half-aborted scream and rocked back into his palm, panting from surprise. He openly laughed. “You didn’t think I forgot how much you liked that, did you, darlin’? Remember that real fucking well? So I’m gonna take care of this pussy just the way I know you need it.” I let out a breathy moan mixed with a cry as he spanked my clit once more. Again and again and again he did it until I felt like I was dripping sweat on my whole body and my pussy was soaked with my juices—the couch too for that matter. “Fuck me, baby, your pussy is so pretty all puffy like this. She’s just crying for me. You want me so bad your poor fucking brain can’t handle it, can it?” I let out a pathetic little whimper, unable to muster much more. “I tell you what, darlin’. You cum from me slapping this pussy and I’ll fuck you til you pass out if that’s what you want. You wanna do that for me?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” I gasped immediately, hardly even grasping the words just knowing that I wanted the pleasure that had been slowly building to finally reach its fucking crescendo.

“Good girl,” he said before unleashing a series of slaps to my pussy in a pattern that I couldn’t have anticipated if I were in his damn brain myself.

This time, as I tumbled over the edge of pleasure, I wailed, jerking against his hand. I collapsed against Rafe’s leg as the aftershock of the second orgasm washed over me. I gasped for air like I’d been drowning and I felt Rafe’s hand tracing up and down my back lazily. As I caught my breath, he placed a final sharp slap to my pussy making me let out a weak yelp of complaint. Without being too gentle, Rafe maneuvered me off of his lap and over the arm of the couch. He let out an appreciative groan and I lifted my head to look back at him. I was startled to see him lifting the belt. My eyes widened as I felt him wrap it around my wrists, quickly binding me.

“You’re not getting away from me, gorgeous. Not when I finally get to fuck my pussy again. You’re nice and ready for me,” he said, sounding almost absent-minded as he spoke to me. He grunted as he slid into me with a single thrust. When he bottomed out we both let out moans—his low and mine high and keening—and I felt my body shake. “Fuck. When you can feel your legs I’m gonna fuck you so hard in doggy you’re gonna not walk the day after. But right now I just gotta finish the job, baby. Gotta turn your fuckin’ brain off forever.”

With that, he started to purposefully piston his hips, holding my bound wrists behind my back for better leverage. I was nearly boneless, shrieking in pleasure as his hot, throbbing cock stretched me open and brushed against each and every nerve ending just right—at least that was how it felt. How he felt. His thrusts were deep and slow and pointed. I sobbed against the feeling, wanting to rut back into him to make him speed up. But, I couldn’t muster the strength. So I just let him fuck into me at his own pace and I felt myself starting to build towards another bout of pleasure—this bound to be even stronger than before if the stars already behind my eyes were anything to go by.

“Daddy, please,” I sobbed, not knowing if I wanted more or less stimulation, more or less pleasure, from him.

Regardless of what I wanted, Rafe didn’t say anything. He grunted out a noise of acknowledgment that I’d spoken then doubled down in his efforts to make me cum again. And when he wrapped his arm around my throat again, tightening quickly and entirely, it was over. This time, as he forced me to a third orgasm, I was actually sobbing, tears running down my face from the fucked up amount of pain and pleasure entwined in being so overstimulated in such a short period of time—especially after so long away from him.

“There’s my good fucking girl,” Rafe said, voice slightly hoarse as he slowed his thrusts to a stop.

He still hadn’t cum himself, his dick fully pulsing inside of me with how hard he was. I dreaded what that meant, even though I also fully anticipated what I knew would come. He gently undid the belt from around my wrists, releasing me, and then eased himself out of me. He flipped me around on the couch and I looked at him with big watery eyes.

“Please no more,” I said, tears slipping down my cheeks. “It’s too much, please.”

“Come on, darlin’,” he cooed, pressing kisses to my cheeks. “Come on, sweet girl. You can give me one more. Been missing my pussy so much. You know I need one more from her.” Another series of kisses, the last one a long and lingering, filthy one to my lips where his tongue entwined with mine and we both pulled back needing air. “Please, baby. One more for me.”

His hand moved down, gently tracing my clit, making me jolt. Already I was so sensitive, so overstimulated. But, the impossibly sweet and imploring look on his face? The hunger he had for me? It was impossible to deny.

“Okay, daddy,” I agreed, sniffling.

He leaned his forehead against mine, grinning. “That’s my girl,” he said softly.

He hitched my leg up over his hip, settling between my legs on the couch. He used his free hand to grip his cock, looking down at us. He gently slapped the head of his dick against my clit once, twice, a third time until I whined and he chuckled, reaching over to press a short kiss to my lips to shut me up. He ran himself up and down my slit over and over until I was shivering and he saw a tiny dribble of new arousal dripping from me. He let out a low moan of his own and then sank into me in one, hitching my leg up again so he could thrust as deep as humanly possible.

“There you are, gorgeous. There’s my beautiful fucking girl,” Rafe praised, pressing a kiss to each cheek, to my lips, and to my forehead as he steadily thrust into me. “So fucking perfect for me. So fucking good for me, baby.”

“You feel so good, daddy,” I said, eyes rolling back and then curling as he pressed down on the slight bulge in my stomach only present because of him. “Thank you, daddy.”

“Anything for you, baby. Fucking anything,” he grunted. He ground slower against me instead of thrusting for a few moments. “You don’t get to keep me from my pussy anymore, baby. I gotta fucking be with you.”

“Wanna be with you, daddy,” I babbled in agreement.

“Good fucking girl,” he huffed, pressing down on the bulge again making me whimper. I felt his dick pulsate again and I tightened around him habitually making his breath hitch. “You gonna cum for me one more time, baby? I’m so fucking close.”

“Yeah, daddy, I’m gonna cum,” I whined. “Please can I cum? Please, please, please?” I begged.

“Fu-fuck yeah,” Rafe stuttered. “Cum with me baby.”

And this time, as I fell across pleasure’s razor edge once more, Rafe fell with me. I felt as he came inside me, hot and deep. My eyes rolled at the feeling, almost addicted to the mere feeling of him being so close and intensely part of me at that moment. I held him without realizing it, nails digging into the skin of his back as I held him against me, ignoring the fact that I was trembling like a leaf.

“So proud of you, my sweet girl. So good for me, gorgeous. Love you so much. So good for me.” Those were the first things I was coherent of hearing again when the whooshing in my ears had faded. They were the sweet praise that Rafe was offering. He went to move—to pull out—but I held him to me still, almost wrapping myself around him like a koala to stop it.

“No,” I denied. “Don’t move yet.”

“Okay, baby,” he agreed. “I won’t pull out. Do you want me to hold you?” I nodded. He carefully moved us. I winced as he adjusted us so that I was sitting up and in his lap because it made him deeper for a moment still but as we settled that faded and I just melted into his chest. “I’m so proud of you, baby. You did so good.” He stroked my skin and hair for a moment. “I gotta get you cleaned up, sweet girl. Get you some water.”

“Not yet,” I denied again, eyes closed as I leaned against him, as much of my skin touching him as possible. “Take care of me in a minute.”

He chuckled. “Oh? You’re gonna let me take care of you?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I answered absent-mindedly. “Fine. You can take care of me, Rafe. I’ll stop being stubborn.” I needed his help. He’d been right about that when he showed up, I was adult enough to admit that. And I knew that he loved me. That he meant it from the best place.

“Really?” he asked, disbelieving. “You’re gonna move in with me? Let me take care of you? Just like that? All I had to do was fuck you like that?”

“Yeah. That’s all you had to do,” I agreed, far too exhausted to explain the complex detail of it in truth. I let out a breathless laugh though, a thought occurring to me when I felt a cool bite of metal and plastic on my leg. “Well, as long as you don’t get arrested for busting out of house arrest.” I cracked open my eyes to give him a smile.

“Shut up, I'll be fine,” he muttered. His hands held me closely, tightly, possessively to him. “You don’t get to take it back. I get to take care of you now. To make sure you’re safe. You’re gonna live with me, sweet girl.”

“Okay, Rafe,” I agreed softly, reaching up to stroke his cheek gently. He leaned into the touch and I smiled. “I will.” I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, laying my forehead against his.

“I love you, baby,” he murmured, so quiet I could barely hear it.

“I love you too,” I replied, just as quiet, just as simple.

He smiled at that, the sight making his eyes go warm and sweet. “Alright, then, gorgeous. Let’s get you cleaned up and get the fuck out of here,” he said. His smile morphed into a cheesy sort of grin—the kind I rarely got to see. “Let’s go home.”

For once, I couldn’t disagree. And I couldn’t help but echo the cheesy smile. “Okay, then, Romeo,” I teased. “Let’s go home.”

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron one shot #obx x reader #obx smut #obx x you #obx fic #obx fanfiction #obx angst #outer banks x reader #outer banks x you #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks fic #rafe imagine #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe cameron obx #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #my writing #obx

[etherealising]

chapter thirteen | the injury of finally knowing you

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: hard conversations are inevitable and that’s exactly the lesson carmy learns when he decides to finally be honest with you.

warning(s): unintentional slut shaming (lol) | ooc carmy | very minimally edited |

wc: 7.6k

The sound of the bathroom door opening did little to draw your attention as you sat on Carmy’s bed, eyes trained on the letter in your hand. You hadn’t meant to snoop or anything, as Carmy showered you stayed in the living room for a bit and tried to work more on the rough draft for your article but the inspiration just wasn’t there at the moment, so you ventured to his room to wait for your turn to shower.

You didn’t think you’d ever willingly read these letters again, so when Carmy asked if he could have them you had no problem allowing him to take them. But then you saw them sitting folded on his side table and you knew exactly what they were before you reached for them. As you waited for Carmy to finish you read them, you weren’t sure what compelled you to do so but you read each of them from start to finish even when you could feel the emotion clawing up your throat. The worst part of it all was that you couldn’t even remember when you penned each letter, they were dated but the emotions spilling from your words made you feel a bit ill. It was almost like a different person wrote these letters, of course, you still felt the hurt and anguish, but you were sure you’d always feel it.

“Shit,” your eyes moved to find Carmy making his way towards you, quickly gathering the letters on the bed before gently removing your grip from the one in your hand. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have left these out.

You watched him tuck them away then felt the caress of his thumb against your cheek, the motion soothed you even as he moved his thumb up to wipe a fallen tear. “Do you read them often?” You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear his answer, but you also didn’t want him beating himself up over something that was entirely out of his control.

Carmy’s thumb continued tracing back and forth against your cheek, eyes flicking between your own before his hand dropped, his eyes following soon after. “Too often…kinda like if I uh read them enough it’ll fix everything.”

Your heart clenched at his words a quiet sardonic laugh following behind them, “Sounds fucking stupid I know I just,” he stopped himself you could tell he was closing himself off, see in his face that he didn’t feel like what he needed to say mattered.

Carmy’s head turned at the slight sensation he felt ghosting across his hand. You gripped his hand in yours giving it a subtle squeeze before raising it to your lips and placing a kiss so soft and loving to his knuckles that you were sure he could feel the sensation of emotion seeping into his skin and burrowing into his bloodstream.

Watching as he allowed you to comfort him in your way, your free hand reached out to comb the stray pieces of hair out of his eyes. Your thumb ghosted across his temple before tracing a path down his cheek and landing at his jaw, raising his chin so he was forced to look at you.

“Carmy, I wanna hear what you have to say. I always want to hear what you have to say. Do you understand me?” Your voice was quiet yet demanding, you hoped to convey just how serious you were, you would listen to the man in front of you read his grocery list morning, noon, and night if necessary.

You gave him a small encouraging smile as you looked at him. You watched as his eyes strayed to your lips eyeing them for longer than what seemed appropriate considering neither of you was sure what this relationship was, if the context of this conversation was any different you would’ve already captured his lips with your own. Instead, you leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before leaning back, your hand still attached to his.

Silence settled over the two of you, you couldn’t force Carmy to talk but you hoped he felt safe enough to open up to you more than he already did. You just wanted to be there for him, to show him that through everything you were still in his corner.

“I read them and I…I just feel this intense guilt you know?” You listened as Carmy began speaking he looked away from you, his eyes locked on the wall opposite the two of you. “A-and I just feel angry, angry at myself. Because why the fuck didn’t I just ask you to stay with me, why didn’t I-I check on you.”

You sat next to Carmy silently, squeezing his hand every so often to let him know you were still there, still listening.

“Most times I just think about how alone you were, how fucking scared you must’ve been. A-and it makes me angry all over again because why the fuck would you do that to yourself?” Carmy’s glistening eyes met yours, questions swimming through his irises. “Shit, no I-I’m not blaming you, promise. But I just look at you and it’s like fuck she deserved so much better, deserves so much better but y-you just suffered alone because of me you know. You’ve always been the best of us Baby and just the idea of you all alone writing those fucking words while I was in some miserable fucking kitchen across the country fucking oblivious to it all I just…I.”

Carmy’s words trailed off, you watched his throat bob up and down like the words he tried to get out lodged themselves there fighting to never be spoken. You tried not to cry, you didn’t want Carmy to think he needed to comfort you in this moment, but it was all for naught as the tears streamed down his face, silent sobs wracked his body as he held his head in his hands. Your interconnected hands pressed desperately to his lips catching every tear.

“Bear, hey look at me,” you spoke softly hoping to lure his attention. There were a few moments of waiting until Carmy’s head slowly lifted, eyes quickly tracking the tear stains on your cheeks, you didn’t give him the chance to wipe them away as you removed your hand from his to grip his face. His stubble was scratchy underneath your touch but you gently dabbed away any leftover tears. “There you are.” It was quiet, a whispered breath that made Carmy’s heart race.

“It's cliche, but they really mean that shit when they say you can’t change the past.” You gave a small grin at the huff of air Carmy loosed through his nose. “It hurts Carmy, god does it hurt. But neither of us will be able to move forward if we keep letting our past mistakes and regrets live in the present with us. There’s a lot of shit I wish you would’ve done differently, things I wish I did differently, and now that we have the chance to do things differently I mean…I don’t wanna waste it. I don’t wanna waste another 10 years without you in my life, Carmy.” You paused, stopping yourself from what you wanted to say but knowing that if this was real if you and Carmy were going through with this the opportunity would present itself.

“I don’t want you to pretend what we experienced wasn’t harrowing and trust me some days it’ll hit harder than others. But if I deserve better then so do you Carm, I…I want us to be happy in whatever way makes you most comfortable. Just please Carmy…don’t push me out of your life again, I’m not sure if there’ll ever be a next time for us after this.”

Carmy’s face was still held delicately between your hands, you offered him your best reassuring smile as silence settled over the two of you. You wished you knew what was going on in Carmy’s head, you were nervous to be too blatantly open with your feelings for him scared it would shut him down.

“How long?” Your brows furrowed at Carmy’s question, a plea for him to explain himself. “If I wanted happiness i-in the same way you did, how much longer would you wait?” It made sense now what he was asking, a small sad smile made its way to your lips as you drank in every bit of emotion that ran across his face the longer you stayed quiet.

You searched his eyes for any sense of hesitation but found none, “I’m a patient woman, Carm, but I won’t wait forever.” Sometimes the truth hurts but it was better to be honest and get everything out on the table now since the two of you were being vulnerable.

Carmy nodded expecting nothing less, if he were being honest with himself he didn’t even think he still deserved your time but he sure as hell was still happy to have it. And this time he wouldn’t allow himself to get in his way, his hands came up gently cupping yours before turning his face from left to right and allowing his lips to sink into the palm of your hands.

He watched as your eyes sparkled before he moved to grip your face, tilting your head down just right to place a kiss on your forehead. A kiss full of love and promises.

A kiss that said you wouldn’t be waiting long.

You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror, a small smile peeking through at the sight of yourself in the matching pajama set Carmy bought you. A small laugh left your lips as you thought about him shopping for you all alone, how many different sets he must’ve looked through, how undecided he must’ve looked while shopping for you.

He’d done a great job though as far as you could tell, there wasn’t any way he could go wrong. You quickly stepped into the matching fuzzy socks that came with the set before turning to exit the bathroom making sure to grab your work clothes so you could wash them.

Exiting the bathroom you found Carmy sitting up in bed with a journal in his hand, the scene reminded you of that Christmas years ago, although this time you were almost positive you wouldn’t wake up alone. You smiled at Carmy as his eyes found yours before leaving to exit the room and start your laundry.

Looking around the living room a feeling of worry began to sink into you as you couldn’t seem to find your laptop or any of the documents you’d spread on Carmy's coffee table earlier that night. You checked around to make sure you hadn’t overlooked it before making your way back to Carmy.

“Carm, have you seen my laptop?” Your voice trailed off as you watched him lift the device off of his side table, your documents neatly stacked on top of it.

You carefully grabbed your belongings halting as you weren’t sure if Carmy wanted to be bothered by your presence as he did his respective work. You took one last look around the room before deciding it might be best if you just returned to working in the living room, knowing how frustrated you could get at times when writing.

“Sit down Baby.” You stopped mid-step to look at Carmy whose eyes were still glued to the journal in his hand. His eyes flashed up to you as you stayed planted in your spot, his eyebrows raised as if to ask why you hadn’t joined him yet.

It was hard but you hid the giddy smile on your face as best as you could, something about just being in Carmy’s presence in such a domestic context made you feel all warm inside like maybe someday this wouldn’t just be a one-time thing. Maybe this would be your life.

You settled in next to him taking a quick peek at his journal before averting your eyes. You were curious as to what he was writing in there, but that wasn’t exactly your business, it didn't mean you couldn’t ask questions though. “Working on the menu?” You tried to sound nonchalant like you were just making small talk as you waited for your laptop to power on, hands mindlessly shuffling through the loose papers not reading a single word on them.

“Somethin’ like that.” Carmy’s voice was quiet as he quickly finished his last thought on the page before closing said journal and storing it away. “Working on your article?”

You let out a quiet scoff at his non-answer, a quiet laugh following at his curiosities being thrown your way. “Something like that.”

Carmy’s laugh rang through the otherwise quiet room, the timber of it warmed your belly. He quieted down after a moment, you could see a frown forming on his face out of the corner of your eye. “I uh…never apologized for punching your boyfriend b-but I’m not sorry for punching him, I’m sorry that it probably made things at work weird for you.”

Your head turned in Carmy’s direction so fast you were sure it gave you whiplash. This man could not read a room to save his fucking life, you’d basically told him moments ago you were his when he was ready to take that next step and here he was bringing up fucking Hayden. You’d give your kidney to spend a day inside that man's head.

“Let me get this straight Carmen, you think I was dating a man who told me to my face, surrounded by loved ones that I didn’t try hard enough to kill myself?” You could see the realization dawn on him as he let your words sink in, embarrassment clear on his face as he realized his mistake.

Carmy’s arm moved up to scratch at the back of his neck, “Well no, but he said-.”

“And you believed him?” You didn’t need to hear any more of Carmy’s sentence to know that whatever Hayden told him was done with malicious intent. You tried not to be upset with Carmy in that moment seeing as how you hadn’t let him explain his side, but a part of you couldn’t help but feel judged.

“Shit no,” you could hear the panic in his voice as he reached to move your laptop and papers, hands quickly falling to your waist to turn you to face him. “No, no I…fuck. I just didn’t know how to bring it up to you and now I’ve just fucked it.”

The frown on your face deepened as you watched the panic race through him, “You could just ask me Carmy instead of accusing me of things. I don’t mind that you're curious but is that what you think of me that I’ve had relations with every man I know? You gonna accuse me of fucking Richie next?”

“Baby,” the words escaped Carmy in a sigh, he hadn’t meant to offend you but the longer he thought about it he realized how much of a repeat offender he was when it came to backing you into a corner like this. First the prom accusation, then the Christmas accusation, and now this. “I’m sorry… it's just you have so much experience a-and-“

“Carmen!” Your eyes shot wide at his words, if he was hoping to assuage your feelings he sure was doing a shit job at it. “Do you even think before you speak?”

Carmy wanted the world to swallow him whole in that moment, he’d never been a master of words but he was shooting himself in the foot more often than not in this conversation.

“You just indirectly called me a slut Carmen. Which by the way if I was it's nobody’s business but mine.” You removed Carmy’s hands from where they had settled on your waist, peeved by the whole conversation.

Carmy’s hand moved up to run through his hair, he knew deep down why these conversations kept coming up between the two of you and it wasn’t because he thought any less of you because of your sexual history. But every time he thought he could have an honest conversation with you about this it just turned into him self-sabotaging in hopes that you’d do the mental work and figure it out, but that wasn’t your job and he knew that he just tended to ruin any good in his life before it had the chance to become great.

The two of you sat in silence as you allowed Carmy to gather his thoughts; the indignation sat heavy in your chest. You weren’t ashamed of any casual relationships you’d had in the past, and you wouldn’t allow whatever Carmy had going on to force you to feel guilty about living your life. Whatever adventures you’d partaken in prior to this was exactly that, before Carmy.

“I-I don’t think any less of you for whatever past relationships you’ve had. And I don’t care…at least not in the way you think I do it's just,” he paused, gathering whatever courage he had to get the rest of his words out. “There’s just this…this need for me to be the best at everything, a-and I’ve been fucking things up with us for so long that I think you know what if I finally let this happen and there’s just someone better for you.”

A sense of understanding washed over you, and while you didn’t want to invalidate Carmy’s feelings he still needed to know the effect of his words. “Carm, it's okay to feel insecure. But you can’t expect me to know these things if you don’t talk about your feelings with me.” Your eyes darted across his face making sure you hadn’t lost him. “This doesn’t work if neither of us communicate, the next time you’re curious just ask me Carmy. And please if anything like that ever happens again check with me instead of letting things fester.”

Carmy nodded his head rapidly, thankful that his most recent blunder hadn’t caused too much of a rift. He knew he could confide in you about anything but he just felt a bit apprehensive confiding in you about his feelings for you. His hand reached out to play with the ruffled bit of your sock allowing himself time to come to terms with the fact that he’d have to work on opening up even more to you if there was any chance of a romantic relationship.

“You know for a long time I uh, I envied you.” You were surprised by Carmy’s admission watching him closely as he continued fiddling with your sock. “It’s fuckin’ stupid really, but I uh think it started when Mikey let you work at the shop and your relationship with him just drove me fuckin’ crazy sometimes.”

He let out a quiet huff of laughter before finally looking up at you hoping you wouldn’t hold his past indiscretions against him. “I would just watch the two of you sometimes and wonder why the fuck the two of you acted more like siblings than he and I did. But I uh, I think what really pushed it over the edge was the summer you left.”

You sat there listening intently, nervousness building in your chest as Carmy divulged feelings of his you had never been privy to until now.

“I fucked up big time I-I knew that, but at the time it just pissed me off. It was stupid but I just expected you to get over everything the…the kiss and then seeing me with Claire, I was a fucking idiot. And you just started spending even more time with Mikey and it was like the two of us hadn’t been best friends for almost our whole lives.” Carmy shook his head realizing how immature all of this sounded even to his ears. “And then you just fucking left us…left me and I know you had to, but I was an idiot teenager and at that time it just felt like you’d given up on me.”

Your quiet sniffles drew his eyes from their burning gaze trained on your forehead, watching as your lips rapidly trembled.

“I called you every day for a year, Carmy.” The tears began to fall, your voice cracking along with it as you defended yourself for a hurt you hadn’t even realized you caused.

Carmy’s heart ached as he watched you, his hands surging forward to grip your face, “Shh, I know Baby please don’t cry. Please, I just want to be honest with you.” His hands moved to gently wipe your face as you nodded two small kisses landing on the apples of your cheeks before he moved back to make sure you were okay, his hands leaving your face to hold your hands in his.

“It was like I fell into this mindset once I decided to leave for culinary school, I felt like none of you fucking believed in me, but I believed in me and I was just like fuck you watch this…a-and I just lumped you in there. I just threw myself into and I was so caught up in my shit it wasn’t until Sug sent me your article about the James Beard award that I realized I was the one who gave up on you…on us. By then I felt like it was too late, like too much time had passed and it wasn’t fair for me to expect space in your life anymore.

Silence settled over the room, your heart felt like it was ready to beat out of your chest. The idea that Carmy threw away your friendship because of envy hurt you to your core, and as much as you wanted to excuse his actions just because you were teenagers you wouldn’t; not this time. Carmy made it abundantly clear he knew he’d made all the wrong choices and you weren’t going to sit here and lick his wounds or pretend it was all okay because none of it was. For years he acted as though you didn’t exist as if he’d never met you, made you feel like you had done something catastrophically disgusting for him to ghost you in the way he did.

“I thought I did something to make you hate me ” You hiccuped as you spoke trying to rein in the tears, you looked back and forth between Carmy’s eyes scared to find even a sliver of hate floating around in them.

Carmy’s heart broke as he listened to those words leave your mouth, he hadn’t meant for this night to take the turn that it did but he felt the two of you were in a good place and that you deserved to know the truth. He wanted to be honest with you, in the hopes that by clearing the air between the two of you the both of you could continue to move forward, preferably by building a future together.

“Hey, hey look at me please.” Worry raced through him, he was sure this was the moment when everything fell apart for the two of you. The two of you had already come back from a lot, he just wasn’t sure your relationship could come back for the immaturity that caused all the unnecessary hurt in the first place. Carmy wasn’t sure he could watch you any longer, since you’d been back in Chicago it felt like every meeting between the two of you ended with you in tears and he was always to blame.

You wouldn’t look at him, your face buried in your hands. But what more could he expect you’d spent all these years beating yourself up for something that wasn’t even your fault, all these years wondering why you’d lost your best friend with no sign of answers insight. Carmy raised to his knees hesitant but deciding to wrap his arms around you, pulling your head into his chest hoping to offer you some sense of comfort.

He pulled you into him as tight as he could wanting to remember what it felt like to hold you in case this was the last time he’d ever be blessed with your presence.

Carmy didn’t need to open his eyes to know that you were gone, the lack of warmth next to him and the foreboding feeling told him everything he needed to know. He sat up in bed looking at the space you slept in, the covers wrinkled from where you tossed and turned, a part of him was sure the sheets had lost the warmth of your body hours ago.

His eyes flitted around the room hoping to find some piece of you still there but he came up empty. He raised his hand swiping it across his mouth as he recalled the conversation from last night, he thought he was doing the right thing by opening up to you, being honest but as he sat there in his quiet empty apartment he wasn’t sure if his vulnerability had the opposite affect and reopened wounds you were trying to keep closed.

There was nothing he could do now, the truth was out in the open between you, and all he could hope for was that you’d forgive him. Reaching for his phone he scrolled through the few notifications hoping to see your name, but coming up short as he finished looking through them all. He quickly pulled up your contact pressing the call button before raising the phone to his ear and listening as it rang before he was sent to voicemail.

Carmy didn’t want to make a big deal out of you leaving and if you asked him for space he would give it to you, but to do that he needed to know you were safe, and the chances of him finding that out lessened each time you didn’t pick up the phone and the messages he sent stayed on delivered. After the fifth call, he moved from his bedroom to the living room hoping the reason you weren’t answering was because you left your phone behind.

But every trace of you was gone and as much as Carmy tried not to overthink the current situation at hand, he couldn’t help the rising anxiety within him, his hand moving to massage his chest the heaviness in it causing discomfort.

Carmy’s eyes found the Polaroid of the two of you still on the counter where you placed it. He reached out, picking it up and bringing it to his eye line, his finger darted out to trace the smile on your face. Every time he glanced at this photo his eyes would always stray to you, more importantly, the look on your face.

He thought back to the moment this photo was taken, displaying one of the happier moments in his life, and it wasn’t because of the sex, the whispered promises, or the shared kisses. It was the fact that when he looked at this picture it reminded him of the moment he realized he was willing to commit to you, the moment he realized he shouldn’t have ran at hearing your admission through the door. He remembered working his whole shift half his mind focused on the tasks at hand, the other part trying to figure out the words he would say to you upon returning home. But you were gone, and deep down he knew you would be you made it clear your time together had an expiration date, but he still held out hope and then he returned to an empty apartment with this Polaroid and his chain all to welcome him home. He hid it away not being able to stomach what he’d lost, until he found it while unpacking when he moved back to Chicago deciding it was an image he wanted to see every day for the rest of his life.

He placed the picture back in its spot above the stove before moving to grab his phone and quickly calling Sug hoping she might have heard from you. Maybe you called her and vented about the previous night, or maybe you were at her house now. He paced back and forth as he waited for his sister to pick up, he felt guilty that Sug always got dragged into this mess between the two of you but he just needed to know you were safe somewhere.

“Is Baby with you?” The words were out of his mouth as soon as he heard the line connect.

“Good morning Carm, I’m doing great. My feet are a bit swollen but other than that it’s been a nice morning.”

Carmy let out a huff of frustration, “Shit, sorry about your feet Sug,” he listened to her mock laugh through the phone. “Is Baby with you, or have you heard from her?”

He waited with bated breath hoping Sug could assuage his worry, “I haven’t spoken to her since last night, I thought she was with you.”

“Uh yeah, yeah she was,” Carmy wasn’t surprised that Sug knew you’d been at his house, it’s probably how you’d gotten his address. “But I think I really fucked up this time Sug.”

“Carm,” the tiredness was evident in Sug’s voice and he felt even worse continuously adding stress on her plate.

“I know Sug I’m sorry I just…I said some things and she was just gone when I woke up. A-and I’ll give her space if she needs it but I just…I’m worried you know what if she…she,” Carmy couldn’t finish his sentence not wanting to speak the idea into existence.

The line went quiet and he wasn’t sure if Sug understood what he was trying to reference or if she was lost in the web of memories. “I’ll check with Cortez, just call me if you get in touch with her before I do. Please Carmy.”

Camry didn’t know who the fuck Cortez was but he appreciated all the help Sug was offering. He agreed to let her know if he heard from you before ending the call. He tossed his phone onto the counter, his hands running through his hair as he tried not to stress over the situation any more than he already was, bending over he placed his elbows on the cold countertop before placing his head in his hands, he was sure he could feel an ulcer developing at all the stress the two of you caused each other.

His head shot up at the sound of the front door unlocking, the last thing he needed was someone trying to rob him at eight in the fucking morning. Carmy watched from his position in the kitchen, surprised to see your body trying to sneak back into the apartment wearing your clothes from the previous day. He was silent as you quietly closed the door before locking it and turning to face him.

The surprise on your face was evident as the two of you stared at each other waiting for someone to speak first. It was you who broke the silence, raising the bag and cup holder in your hand as you spoke, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you but I bought us breakfast.”

Carmy frowned at how casual you were acting as though he hadn’t spent most of his time awake freaking out over your disappearance, though it's not like you knew that. “You…you can’t just fucking do shit like that Baby.”

The distress was clear in his voice and he watched as you frowned confusion decorating your features “I can’t…buy you breakfast?” If Carmy wasn’t so stressed out by you at that moment he would’ve found it cute the way innocence flashed across your face at the question, he was seconds away from giving in from that look alone.

“What? No, you can’t just…just fucking disappear like that. I woke up and you were just gone and y-you didn’t leave a note or anything…I was worried about you.” Carmy finished his train of thought before it turned into nonsensical rambling, his eyes finding yours across the room as he watched the understanding wash over your face.

You nodded, Carmy followed your movement as you made your way to the kitchen placing down the objects in your hands before lifting yourself onto the counter opposite of him. The two of you stared at each other, Carmy moved to cross his arms across his chest hoping the longer he’d stay silent you’d give in and explain your little vanishing act to him. He wasn’t mad, far from it but he didn’t know how to tell you that this reminded him all too much of you disappearing in New York.

“I didn’t mean to worry you, Carm. I just needed some time to think about everything you told me last night.” His eyes stayed connected to yours as he nodded in understanding, you came back so he felt it was safe to assume the heavens made sure he hadn’t lost you yet. “I’m not sure if I can forgive you Carmy those years for me…they were miserable. I felt all alone in a new place and it wasn’t just me, your actions hurt. My mom was dying Carmen and she asked about you so much…she loved you like you were her own Carm.”

“I don’t think you meant to hurt anyone,” Carmy’s eyes watched your mouth form a disbelieving laugh. “But the fact is you did, and I know you’re sorry Carm, I see it in your face every time you apologize, every time you look at me. And what’s stopping you from doing something like that again? You’re flighty Carm, what if we finally decide to do this…to take that next step and you feel overwhelmed, like it's all too much what then? Do you just ghost me again in hopes that it hurts me enough to finally give up on us or do you stay and do the hard work?”

Your response was valid and Carmen knew that, so he didn’t even take the chance to try and defend himself. He hadn’t thought about the consequences his actions might bring and didn't even give a second thought to how selfish he was being when he cut you off cold turkey. And he loathed to admit it but through all the time apart you still knew him better than anyone else.

“I…I don’t know if I can continue wanting this for the both of us Carmy.” Carmy’s eyes followed your hand that stretched out between the two of you, your fingers wiggling to urge him to go to you, his feet leading him easily.

Carmy found his way to you watching as you entwined your fingers with his, his free hand coming to rest on your hip as he looked up at you seated on his counter from his position between your legs.

“I don’t deserve to spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells around you Carm scared that you’ll drop me at a moment's notice,” Carmy didn’t want to hear the rest of what you had to say but he stayed put, allowing your free hand to ghost across his cheek until you gently cupped it his face relaxing into your palm. “And you don’t deserve being pressured into a relationship you’re not ready for, it’s not fair to either of us.”

The words felt like they burrowed into his heart, growing roots and staying there for all of eternity. He leaned in resting his forehead against your eyes closing so he could pretend this moment wasn’t happening and instead the two of you were just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Baby,” the words were a plea as they left his lips hoping that somehow the two of you could salvage this.

His eyes opened as your thumb gently rubbed across his cheek watching you as you watched him. “It's toxic Carm, we’re toxic.”

Your breath ghosted across his lips and he savored the feeling sending a tender squeeze to your hip before he gently pulled you to the edge of the counter, his nose bumping into yours, lips precariously close to brushing against yours as he began speaking, basically transferring the words from his mouth to yours. “We can work on it.”

His nose nudged against yours waiting for you to stop him before things went too far. His eyes flickered back and forth between your eyes before dropping back to your mouth analyzing the way your teeth sunk into your bottom lip. Carmy’s hand left your hip, his thumb gently tugging at your lip ghosting across the plumpness of it, he cradled your jaw, his nose nuzzling against yours just right to have your bottom lips brush against each other.

The two of you sat in that position for a moment, Carmy wouldn’t make this decision for you not if you didn’t want him to. But as your hand moved from his cheek to the side of his neck he felt his heart begin to race as he would finally get the chance to taste you after so long apart.

Your body jolted against Carmy’s, your lips landing against the corner of his mouth as the phone in your pocket vibrated. Carmy wasn’t sure if the disappointed sigh was yours or his, his hand fell from your jaw moving around your hip on the counter to retrieve the phone from your back pocket. Both of you knew the contact was unnecessary but the quiet gasp you let out was proof enough that neither of you cared.

“Who is it?” Carmy relished in the way your lips brushed against his as you spoke, the two of you still poised in the position for a kiss.

He looked down at your phone doing his best not to show a visceral reaction at the name on the screen. He carefully turned it in your direction watching as your eyes widened before taking the phone from his grip. He let out a sigh of remorse as you pushed off of him, sending an awkward smile his way.

“Sorry, I need to take this.” Carmy nodded, reluctantly stepping from his position between your legs, his hand raised to the back of his neck as he wasn’t sure what to do with himself before deciding to occupy himself with the breakfast you bought.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as you stayed in your position on the counter and answered the phone. He didn’t intend on eavesdropping but considering he was still in close proximity he could hear the voice coming through the other line.

“Cortez, what’s u-”

“Do you like stressin’ people the fuck out ma?” Carmy tuned out the conversation as soon as he heard the gruff voice deciding to instead occupy himself with the breakfast you bought.

Carmy’s head turned in your direction when he realized you’d been trying for some time to gain his attention, he gave you a small half-smile wanting nothing more than to hold you as the two of you figured things out. Instead, he held a bagel out to you as a peace offering, “Breakfast?”

He watched you nod before coming to join him, the two of you standing in silence as you put the spread on your bagels. Breakfast was spent in silence with the quiet dialogue of the TV in the background, the scene of you two on opposite sides of the couch a mirror image of the previous night's dinner, that same tension-filled air hanging between the two of you.

Carmy didn’t argue when you decided to head home after finishing, the two of you silently worked around each other to clean up the trash from breakfast. And he forced himself not to bring up his worries about the future status of your relationship as he led you to the door.

“Drive safe yeah?” Carmy stood in front of his door frame trying not to be as awkward as he felt.

He watched your lips spread into a small smile, he wasn’t the only one seemingly fighting off the awkwardness. “I’ll text you when I get home…thank you for letting me stay, and for the food and the clothes.” Your words ended on a quiet laugh the sound bringing a smile to Carmy’s face.

The two of you stood there for a moment longer awkward silence lingering in the air, you began rocking back and forth on your heels Carmy unsure of what to say. “I guess it’s time I make like a banana and split.”

Carmy tried to hide his smile at your stupid joke, his hand reached out to grip the back of your head pulling you into his chest. “I forgot how fuckin’ lame you could be.” He smiled as he felt you laugh in his arms his lips pressing into your temple as he allowed to push off of him, his hand still cupping the back of your head.

“You missed out on 10 years of lameness Carm, gotta start makin’ up for it at some point.” Carmy let his smile grow at that point. You’d made it clear to him that you wouldn’t forgive what led to the downfall of your relationship.

But as the two of you smiled at each other he took this moment as an olive branch, whether you meant for it to be or not he would take what he could get. He allowed you to pull him back in both of his arms wrapping around you his body relaxing into yours as your warm lips met the skin over his Adam’s apple before moving to place one final kiss on his jaw.

He let you step out of his hold hoping you wouldn’t mention the dusting of pink that he could feel spreading across his cheeks. You stepped back Carmy’s hand that was once on the back of your head traced down the side of your neck, then your shoulder, and arm before finally entwining your hand with his.

“Before I forget do you know when you’ll be free in the next week, I kinda need to interview you for this article I’m writing.” Carmy gave a small smile at your antics.

His free hand moved to scratch the back of his head trying to gather all the courage he could, “I uh still have a couple hours before I head to the restaurant if you wanted…to interview me now.” The smile left his face as he watched your smile fall.

“Oh, I’m sorry Carm I actually have somewhere to be, but thank you for offering.” He nodded trying not to let the disappointment show on his face.

The two of you exchanged goodbyes before Carmy stepped back into his apartment realizing what an idiot he was for not walking you to your car and also thinking you’d just drop everything and spend more time with him under the pretense of conducting an interview. Deciding to make himself useful Carmy headed into his room figuring he might as well head to the restaurant since he had nothing but time.

Carmy was in the middle of buttoning his jeans when the sound of incessant knocking spread through his apartment, part of him was resigned to just let whoever it was knock it wasn’t like he really knew anyone in the building. But the longer the knocking went on he decided to just figure out who the hell was bothering him.

Making it to his living room he swung the door open ready to tell the person off but stopping in his tracks as your figure stood there surprise easily written all over his face.

“Hi, Carmen Berzatto right?” His eyes narrowed confused at the game you were playing, eyes darting to your hand hanging between the two of you before it raised to the notepad he hadn’t realized you were holding and began writing in as you spoke. “Impolite and shorter in person. Sorry, I’m with the Tribune I was wondering if you had time for an interview.”

Carmy rolled his eyes laughing at your antics, “You’re a fuckin’ dork.” He moved out of the way and opened the door wider signaling for you to come in, locking the door he turned and watched as you began taking your jacket and shoes off.

He was sure he had never seen a more perfect image, than the vision of you in his apartment at that moment. Your selflessness was never more apparent to Carmy than in that moment, he could almost physically feel his love for you growing as he realized time and time again you would fight for this relationship.

baby: ayye yo this shit actually kinda toxic

carmy: ohh no maybe if we make out that’ll fix it??

a/n: anyway i know this may feel like we’re going backwards but i promise you the barby ship will be sailing sooner than you know it! please enjoy! 🤍

likes are great, but comments and reblogs really are the lifeblood of fic writing. if you love this fic please consider sharing 🫶🏽

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy the bear x reader #carmy berzatto x you #the bear fic #the bear x reader #the bear x you #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

[meanbossart]

Spicy Asks: The Sequel is here. I'm so, so sorry.

Oh he's a very passive guy, he likes being manhandled around and not having to do much of the work (a bit of a pillow princess one might say). As far as fetishes go, he does have fantasies about group sex and of being roughed up, but I think if put in a situation where he could practice it in a controlled environment he'd be like "EHHHH nevermind actually" and go home very quickly LOL

DU drow would have 100% banged Lae'zel if he hadn't killed her. He couldn't stand her personality but they would have gotten on like two peas in a pod in the sack.

He does find Shadowheart very pretty, but they struck up a friendship so quickly that I don't think he could see her in that way 🤷 but that's still a smash, technically speaking.

Jaheira. Ohhhh Jaheira. As far as general dynamics go she would have been the best choice after Astarion, probably - though there is no way in hell or high heavens that she would have ever let him touch her LOL regardless, DU drow finds her looks and personality to be very attractive.

He's pretty much utterly indifferent to anyone else. Wyll is too idealistic, Gale is Gale, Karlach isn't his type, Halsin gets on his nerves - oh, he WOULD have banged Mizora if he hadn't been heads over heels for Astarion by that point.

The man just likes his femmes I guess LOL

HMMMMMMM yes, but since it's not really a porn fic expect any scenes like that to be in line with what we've had so far, where there's more of a focus on developing character dynamics rather than gratuitousness (I hope I've gotten that across, at least LOL).

LOL, It's ok, it's a ridiculous not-name and I'm so sorry for all the people I have made confused and will continue to confuse because of it.

As for your question, definitely not! I personally like big-bottom/smaller-top scenarios so that's why I focus on it, and I do think character-wise those are the roles they fall into most naturally - but they switch around every so often when the mood strikes and it isn't really a big deal.

Oh are you kidding me? The guy LOVES being cared after in an intimate setting. Being doted on, groomed, checked up on, having his hair played with and clothes fixed up - he doesn't express it outwardly much, but these are all things that make his murderous little heart skip a beat. He was the same way pre-tadpole but it was mostly servants and Sceleritas doing it, so he didn't get much out of the exchange; and Orin didn't entertain this at all, or, if she ever did, it was very, very, very rarely and really just a crumb of intimate affection that he most likely misread anyways.

I'm not sure what to say to this one LOL the penis is full of blood already man I don't think a vampire needs to make it any more tempting to themselves to chomp down.

I wrote a thing about that not too long ago :D ! The answer is complicated but, mostly yes.

Alright you joke, but, if you don't think DU drow hasn't spent a little too long lingering over Astarion's feet and ankles then I got amazing news for you.

I touched on what they generally like on the previous edition of Wine Fuelled Spicy Asks, but as for what they like to do as a couple, it's probably a lot of body worship and some playful denial on both ends. Du drow thinks Astarion is the most elegant and limber thing he's ever seen (and he loves how he smells), and Astarion thinks DU drow's body is an expertly put together murder machine. They have a great time being mutually enamored with each other's (and their own) appearances.

I think they also venture into some blood-play and vapid threats of violence in the future, as a treat, but takes a while for them to trust themselves and each other enough to indulge in that kind of thing.

Needs a little direction, plus you gotta learn to enjoy a bit of teeth and a very slobbery time - also I think he distracts easily, It's nice to have a man who's willing to venture the whole perimeter with his mouth but sometimes you do just want him to stay on the prick. But generally speaking - yes, DU drow gives good head. Fun head, even!

What do you people want from me? Do you want schematics? Diagrams? Do you want me to compare their holes to famous people holes? Do you want me to take out my measuring tape and give you numbers, tell you which kind of produce each of them can fit in there???

One is pink, the other one is brown. One of them just looks normal and the other looks and feels a little like it been around the block a few times. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW.

#ask compilation

[cookiesandbiscuits]

Obey Me! Older Demon Brothers With an MC Who Gives Punches When Surprised

A/N: Ayo! I'm back with another hc that's living rent-free inside my head. But first of all, I wanna thank you guys for supporting my first hc. I didn't expect it to receive such support when I wrote it. I feel ecstatic knowing that you guys liked it.

Now, I never really "punched" someone when they surprise the shit out of me, but I did hit someone accidentally when they scared me while watching my classmate play Granny (sorry whoever that was). It was really funny to imagine when the brothers get smacked by MC when surprised, so I decided to write this crack hc.

Another note: I got too lazy for the other brothers lol. But if you guys want I'll try to make the younger brothers' edition.

Summary: The title is self-explanatory.

Genre: Crack

CW: N/A

MASTERLIST

Younger Brothers + Diavolo & Solomon Version

Lucifer

This is very unlikely to happen but let's just say that it did happen once.

You woke up from a nightmare that night. Earlier that night, you and the other brothers decided to watch a horror movie for movie night. It was an understatement to say you were scared. You went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water to calm yourself down.

Meanwhile, Lucifer, who was pulling an all-nighter to finish his work, also decided to go to the kitchen when he noticed his cup of coffee was empty.

He notices that the kitchen lights were open. He immediately assumed that it was Beel having another one of his midnight fridge raid.

Was about to shout until he saw your figure, and his anger readily subsided.

But he's curious as to why are you still awake at this ungodly hour.

He tugs your shoulder and asked.

"MC, why are you--”

His words were cut short when your fist made contact with his face.

You two stood there silently for a moment, your brain took a few seconds to process what just happened between you and the firstborn.

When you finally realized what just happened, panic quickly took over your body.

"O-oh my gosh, Luci! Are you okay?!"

He just waves it off, and he clears his throat to affirm that he is okay.

"Yes, I am fine. But I have to say, you do have some strong punches."

He will ask you to keep this incident between the two of you because it is likely that his brothers will use this to blackmail him.

Mammon

He just came from one of his money-making schemes when he saw you walking alone in the street.

What the hell is his human thinking walking alone in the street? You do realize that you're in the Devildom right? Walking alone in the street is like an offer to the lower demons that you're a free meal. But the Great Mammon won't let that happen on his watch.

He started running and when you were finally within arm's reach, he grabbed one of your shoulders to get your attention.

He was going to ask you why you were walking alone but you didn't give him a chance to when you decided to make his face into a punching bag.

Oh my Diavolo, I think he broke his nose!

He started groaning and you started panicking, saying incoherent apologies to the demon who became a victim to one of your surprised punches.

"...What the hell was that for?! Are ya tryin' to break my nose or somethin'?"

"I'm really, really sorry Mammon, it's a bad habit of mine. There are a lot of creeps back in my hometown that's why I can't walk alone on a street without being always on guard. I really didn't mean to punch you."

Why are you giving him that look?! You know he can't stay mad at you when you give him that puppy dog eyes.

Alright, fine! He'll forgive you for this, but only if you're the one who'll take care of his facial injury. Don't get him wrong though. He's not asking you to do it because he wanted to be pampered by you, okay?!

Leviathan

You were lounging on the common room couch with Levi and you were playing a horror escape game on your phone.

He was curious about the game you're playing since it's rare for you to be engrossed in one.

So he decided to look over your shoulder to peek into your screen.

Wrong move, my dude.

At the time he looked over your shoulder, the serial killer caught your character, which caused you to yeet your phone and jerk your hands away.

MC's Hands - 1 Leviathan - 0

"OH MY GOSH! I am so, so sorry! A-are you okay?!"

He's fine MC, don't worry. But his forehead isn't.

I mean, you did hit him in the forehead with your bony knuckles, which will leave a mark for a few days. But he can cover it with his bangs so it wouldn't be visible to others.

He'll make a mental note to never look over your shoulder again, especially when you're playing a horror game.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me x reader #obey me mc #obey me crack #cookie writings

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Hi!

i just wanted to know if your requests are open and if they are i wanted to request something with Judd birch x GN!reader like their in highschool together and known each other for years because of leah (your her bestfriend) and he kinda falls in love with the reader and only soft and fluffy around them, all fluff x

-Markus

Hi <3 my requests are open, I’m just bad at getting through them lol

Tags: Judd Birch x gn! Reader, very cute, very fluffy, Judd is emotionally constipated, sex references, this is a big mouth fanfic cmon, I also still don’t know how to write hormone monster dialogue, talk and mentions of masturbating? Idek man, I didn’t edit it through bc I’m lazy, I wrote this at 2 am

Authors note: hello! I hope you like this <3 I realized that I always write with fem! Readers in mind so this was a nice change, I hope it’s readable (: see you at the bottom lol

Word count: 1,8k words

Judd Birch is a simp:

It just sorta happened one day, like BAM he had fallen for you. Hard.

I mean, he saw you around all the time, at school or hanging out with Leah at his house so it took him a pretty long time to realize he liked you

Of course Maury had been by his side the whole time, telling him to do all sorts of lewd things to you but he never really took it seriously

To him you were still just the quiet little 12-year-old Leah befriended in 8th grade

Until you suddenly became so much more

Maury had been going on about how cute you were for a long time, but it wasn’t until your junior year that Judd started agreeing with his hormone monster

You had always annoyed him significantly less than all of his siblings other friends, so he tolerated having you around

You also never bothered him at school, unless Leah wanted him to drive the two of you home

It was the day after summer break, the start of yours and Leah’s junior year and Judd’s senior

He drove Leah to school and as soon as he parked, she basically threw herself out the van and ran towards someone

He slowly followed her across the parking lot, somewhat curious to see where she was going

She threw herself at someone, and it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize that it was you

But when he did, he was absolutely stunned. I mean, he straight up stopped in his tracks, mouth hanging slightly open

You had grown over the summer, seemingly both physically and mentally

You seemed so much more confident in yourself, and it seemed like you had found your own style too

He would never admit it in a million years, but he thought you looked really nice in your new clothes

‘Judd likes y/n! Judd likes y/n!’ Maury appeared behind him, mockingly singing about Judd’s newfound crush

Judd’s face morphed into a scowl, as he continued to ignore his hormone monster

‘C’mon man! I can see your little heart-boner from here! It’s obvious.’ Maury chuckled, pulling out a stethoscope and placing it over Judd’s heart, feeling his slightly increased heartbeat

“Oh, Judd! I’m surprised you actually showed up today,” You called to him, suddenly turning all your attention to the older teen

He quickly recovered from his shock, shoving Maury aside and putting on his usual stone-faced expression

The wind blew your hair out of your face as you walked towards him, and he had to admit.. you were quite easy on the eyes, and your voice sounded nice calling his name and-

He lost track of his thoughts when suddenly you were in front of him. ‘Here’s the plan. Ditch school, throw them into your van and plow them till you’re shooting blanks!’ Maury said, grabbing Judd’s arm and tucking him towards the van

Judd exhaled through clenched teeth, not even realizing he had been holding his breath as you walked up to him, Leah in tow

“Fuck off.” He scoffed, looking anywhere but your eyes. “Don’t you have to go help Leah with her gay ass theater group, or some shit?”

You grinned, unfazed by his foul attitude. “Alright, mr grumpy pants. I hope you had a nice summer though, it sucks I didn’t get to see you much.”

‘FUCK YEAH! THEY MISSED YOU?’ Maury yelled in victory, throwing a bottle of whiskey to the ground, shattering it loudly. ‘Hear that, judder-butter? My dick tells me you have a good chance with them,’ he purred.

Judd didn’t even notice Maury, face slowly flushing as he took in your words. Judd Birch was not one to blush, never had he been known to look anything but murderous, but suddenly his whole facade melted and turned bright red

He coughed. “Uh. Sure. It’s not like I have time to hang out with dumb ass kids anyways,” he muttered, painfully aware how both his ears and face was now bright pink

You crossed your arms over your chest. “You’re only a year older than me, dipshit.”

Despite the flush on his face, he still managed to look somewhat intimidating as he rolled his eyes and gave a low grunt. Just before he could clumsily come up with an answer, Leah pulled your arm

“C’mon y/n, we gotta go meet Daniel in the assembly hall,” she whined, causing Judd to finally pay attention to his younger sister and break his trance

“Go piss off to your gross theater group. I won’t pick you up, walk home nutsacks.” And with that, he walked off, leaving you and Leah in the parking lot

He finally relaxed as he rounded a corner, out of sight from you and Leah

‘NOOO! What was that? Get back over there and show them a better fucking time than whatever gangbang they’ve got going on in their theater group!’ Maury pleaded, throwing himself dramatically on the ground

‘Look! My little penis was so excited!’ Maury pulled a tiny penis out and held it in his hand, the creature giving Judd a disappointed sigh

Judd stopped walking, leaning against the brick wall he was walking past “Shut the fuck up.” He grunted, sending Maury a glare.

The hormone monster simply chuckled, unfazed by his anger. ‘But loook! How can you say no to such a cute little thing? He’s so sad, he’s getting all soft..” Maury stood up, shoving the little penis in Judd’s face. Sure enough, it was crying

Judd sighed deeply, thoughts of you flooding his brain. He leaned his head back against the walls, closing his eyes for a moment. “Fine.” He snapped. “Let’s go Jack off.”

Maury roared in victory, giving Judd’s shoulder a firm squeeze. “And this is why you’re my favorite, kid.”

After that, Judd started showing up to school significantly more

He started letting you sit in the front seat when he picked you and Leah up, actually leaving his room when you came over, going out of his way to do you small favors, ect

Let’s just say Leah caught on real quick

“You know Judd is totally into you, right?” She said one day, while you were sitting in her room, getting ready for a party

“Huh?” You said, too focused on smoothing out your clothes in the mirror to pay attention

“Judd. My brother. The psychopath. Future serial killer, he likes you.”

You paused, turning to look at her. She was lying on her back on the bed, head hanging down the side as she stared at you upside down. “No way. Judd hates everyone,” you said, searching her face for any signs that she was joking

She looked completely serious as she said: “Yes way. He’s a total simp. It’s almost cute, actually, like, in a deranged creepy kinda way,”

You scrunched up your nose, thinking back to your latest interaction with Judd. He didn’t seem that different, did he? There was that one time he got you free weed, multiple times were his raccoons escorted you places to make sure you were safe, not to mention all the car rides and-

“Oh my god.” You said, looking bewildered at Leah. She grinned, rolling around to lay on her stomach. “You know, I’ve never seen him not make threats at someone. You really did a number on him,” she giggled

Slowly, your face started to heat up and you turned away from your friend with a hand clasped over your mouth. “I mean, he’s always been nice to me- I just- I didn’t think it was a big deal?”

Leah got up off the bed. “Of course it’s a big deal! You even like all the same stuff! Have you seen the way he looks at you when you talk about horror movies? Or when he offered to lend you that one, uh, what’s it called? The game with zombies or something. But anyways, that’s, like the biggest deal ever!”

You hid your face in your hands, trying to conceal the large grin that spread across your face.

“But,” Leah continued and even if you weren’t looking at her, you could tell she was grinning too. “If you’re going to date, it better not interfere with the theater rehearsals,”

You huffed out a laugh, turning back to look at her. “I wouldn’t miss those hours of watching you flirt with Daniel for anything!”

Now it was Leah’s turn to blush, the conversation quickly moving on as she went into detail about whatever Daniel had done that day

After that, you finally started noticing Judd’s odd behavior

What he called flirting, some people would probably call kinda creepy, but you didn’t mind

You liked the stolen glances, how he got angry when he blushed, the quick touches and the long talks you would have about music and movies when Leah was doing something else

You also thought it quite funny how he could go from growling at his family, to looking at you with big puppy-dog eyes in mere seconds

He’s literally only like that to you, would never be soft in public either

You started having lots of movie nights, the guy always has a new low-budget gore-fest up his sleeve

But oh my god, he’ll get so soft if you fall asleep during a movie

Like, gently tucking you in under the blanket and cuddling up to you, he even trades his scowl in for a cute little content expression

Even if he just thinks you’re asleep, he’ll sometimes mutter a bunch of lovey-dovey stuff, don’t ever ask him about it tho bc he will deny it

I think I’ve said this in a previous hc, but high Judd is soft Judd

If you’re high and the mood is right, you could coax almost anything out of him

He’ll quietly say stuff like “you know I love you, right?” Or “I’m sorry I called you fuckface, I didn’t mean it. I actually really like looking at your face.”

On very, very rare occasions his family has caught him being soft

Like, you’re cuddling on the couch or something when Nick gets home from school

Or Leah catches him softly whisper to you while you sleep

She totally filmed it and uses it as blackmail.

“Drive me to rehearsals or everyone’s gonna see you being a simp for y/n” is the only threat that ever works on Judd

Anyways, he’s a good boyfriend but don’t expect him to be soft all the time

He is most of the time, but he also has quite the temper. If he ever says something truly mean to you, he’ll feel so bad about it though

He will beg Leah to talk to you if you’re mad at him

Don’t get fooled by his attitude, he’s so whipped for you

This was so cute (,: I love Judd

I also want to thank everyone for a 1000 followers! I’m really not that active and I honestly didn’t expect to reach a 1000 lmao

But I’m really grateful, thank you all so much for reading <3

I hope you enjoyed this too, tysm for requesting!

If you want to request more Judd stuff, or anything else please go to my profile.

Love, author

#i hope this is okay #big mouth #big mouth x reader #judd birch #judd birch x reader #judd birch is so hot help #self insert #help I was trying to write birch and I accidentally wrote Judd bitch

[sweetnsour1]

5:47:01

Fluff, Bakugou x g/n reader, part 1 of ?

Your jaw was clenched and you tried your hardest to keep your bottom lip from jutting out as you stared down at the pitiful sight in front of you. The line of red was clear and nearly enough to bring tears of frustration to your eyes, but…no matter how strong you were, or how hard you tried, there was just no way to alter the decided outcome laying right in front of you.

“Y/n! Dude…you’re totally ignoring me.”

Kaminari waved around a paper with a very visible C+. You tried to smile, but it quickly faded when your eyes fell back to your own desk. You hated this…the grade, but also that haunting feel of not doing your best. He grabbed your shoulder, rocking you side to side.

“Hey! I’m tryingggg to brag about how good I did on my test because of you. Although, you totally could’ve been less mean-Dude, what’s wrong?” You didn’t answer. He rested his chin on the top of your head. “Ugh, nothing. You did amazing as usual.” He laughed and snatched the paper.

“I did not do amazing.” You jumped up, but he kept running. He hopped onto a desk, holding it just out of your reach. He checked the grade on it before sticking his tongue out at you.

“You got another A.”

“Ugh, I know what it says. It’s just…not A enough. You know?”

“No? How can it be-“ His words turned into a yelp as the owner of the desk finally lost his patience.

Bakugou grabbed Kaminari by the collar of his uniform, looking just like a cat scolding a kitten. The sight never failed to make you laugh…even now when you felt like you sucked. He plucked your paper from Kaminari’s hands, holding him a few inches above the ground. He didn’t release him until the stun gun hero had stopped flailing his legs…which was potentially thoughtful of him?

“Go fuck around on your own desk, idiot.” He nudged Kaminari away.

“Don’t be so rough, man. You’re gonna accidentally give me a kink or something.” You both laughed as Bakugou’s blush showed up quicker than his glare. Kaminari hurried off to his desk, making sure to take a route that placed Kirishima between him and his potential threat.

Bakugou’s glare was gone when he turned back to face you. He maybe kind of looked pretty fucking cute with the blush still covering him. Your eyes moved up his cheeks to land on his…One of his eyebrows shot up and his head tilted, but he didn’t look away. You felt a heat spread across your own face. How the fuck could he, of all fucking people, be making you feel things like an idiot? You heard the rustling of paper and looked down to see your test in the air between you.

“You’ll never beat me with shit like this.” Your mouth fell open for a moment. He was grinning like such an asshole.

“Yea, I fucking know.” You snatched the paper back.

“Should’ve come to my room instead of his.” Your mouth fell open again. “Fix your face. I meant to fuckin’ study.” You frowned.

“Yea, I assumed to study. I was just surprised you offered.”

“Oh.” Your gaze was fixed on that stupid minus next to that not so stupid letter.

“What else would I go to your room for?” He didn’t answer, so you risked looking at him again. Your eyes widened when you saw his pretty face was now a much darker shade of pink than before.

Masterlist

Wrote this on my lunch break. I’ll check for edits after school, but that was a fun time challenge.

Edit: edited! lol why didn’t any of you tell me y/n snatched the paper twice smdh

#bakugou x y/n #Bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou #bnha fluff #Bakugou fluff #bnha #mha #mha fluff #bnha bakugou #kaminari fluff #Kaminari

[dreaming-marchling]

⭐  Because I couldn't choose which fic I most wanted a director's cut from. :D

I'll go with Across the Lonely Decades :)

Some BTS Tidbits:

"In the center of the mess was his newly re-made warlock. Magnus’ magic had been restored to him eight weeks ago and seeing him with his old confidence back had been a relief to Alec. Worth the trip to Edom and the literal hell he and Jace had gone through to make it right."

Imagine my deep shock when the show went in a totally different direction with this, lol. I was so sure that Jace was going to be a big driver in helping Alec get Magnus back, like nearly as intense about it as he was in getting Clary back. After Magnus and Alec sacrificed for him and with Alec's pain which Jace knew so well having just lost Clary I really thought we were going to see battle parabatai in Edom doing their damnedest because they BOTH were determined to get Magnus back. Super let down that they didn't go that route although obviously there are great aspects to what they picked. I left this bit in even after that aired just as an ode to what I wanted that arc to be.

---

This is one of the main ambience videos I used to help myself get into the Victorian mood.

---

“I don’t know much about parabatai I’ll be honest.” Ragnor said

Ragnor is not being honest. He's trying to get Alec to talk about it.

---

In answer, the warlock hurriedly handed him a… scimitar? Not his favorite and kind of a random choice but he’d take it.

I was getting into The Old Guard and Joe uses a scimitar so I threw this in for the unexpected blade Alec is given. I also picked Ragnor using Yusuf as the first Joseph iteration when he was sharing his revelation about Jozef's identity for the same reason.

---

The whole thongs conversation got added after I started posting the story because I felt like we needed another nice Bane scene of him trying after readers were even more upset about his behavior than I had anticipated.

---

“Shh,” Jozef shushed him gently. “I’m Joseph and Lottie is getting Magnus. That’s what matters, all right? I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise. Dymphna won’t come back.”

“Alec!”

Magnus’ frantic voice called for him.

Alec blinked slowly.

“Stay awake, Alec.” Jozef urged him. When had he learned Alec’s name? He hadn’t known it before when he had been sending Alec through time. He hadn’t been kind then either.

I wasn't super clear in the story and it confused some readers so I'll say it clearly here - Joseph only uses Alec's name here after Magnus calls it. He doesn't know it before that, he was using it after to try to keep Alec awake. I also initially had Joseph call Alec "child" before I decided that was too much and switched it to boy. I wanted Joseph to be really kind and tender to Alec to highlight the person he used to be. Also, I forever live for the idea that Alec is very obviously not centuries old to actual centuries old beings lol

---

Alec felt like he was floating.

I added this whole section to further break hearts right before the chapter was posted.

I pre-write all my stories before I start posting and while I'm editing as the story is posting I have added little bits to stories but I have never added so many scenes as I did to Across the Lonely Decades. I was having so much fun with this one and had so many feels and this was one of my favorite experiences with readers, I just wanted to give more and more.

---

A reader was sad that I didn't include Magnus' POV of Alec getting glamoured for their morning bread date so I wrote them this in a reply comment, in case anyone here has never seen it:

Magnus didn't go into this with plans for how he would change Alec. If he was going to take his 21st century boy out for as many different 19th century experiences as he could, he would likely be magically disguising him enough times that a great deal of fun could be had through the month. Right now, he had plans that needed them out the door quickly so he was just going to play a game of opposites top to bottom.

First, hair. Lengthen it and lighten it. He sent a pulse of magic at Alec and his hair grew rapidly, going from his usual short style into...

Oh.

Oh that was...

Alec leaned into the mirror to inspect his new hair, “What are you doing?”

Every moment of every day Alec was beautiful, Magnus was agonizingly aware of all the ways, but this...

It was like a Greek statue had come to life. Lush and lovely, made for worship. Tousled curls framed Alec's face, somehow highlighting his hazel eyes and making them glow. He looked like a Romantic poet, like he was about to whisper sonnets into Magnus' ear, like they were...

“Magnus?” Alec asked sort of cautiously.

Alec's voice broke the spell abruptly. “Apologies, darling, that hit me harder than I anticipated.”

---

To Alec’s surprised, Cat gave him a brisk rub of her hands over his arms, “I’m joining Eula and Kaira at the pantomime. Send me a fire message if he keels over but otherwise, have a lovely time and I’ll rejoin you tonight.”

Eula and Kaira are from Hybrid. Kaira more prominently as one of the warlocks who comes to help Magnus get the collar off and Eula is one of the warlocks who were killed to give Alec magic, Valentine calls her a bore when she argues with him.

---

But her eyes were the same. The pleased smile was the same. Martha stood in front of him.

“Hello, pretty boy.”

I didn't end up getting into their reunion conversation but Martha had been keeping an eye on Magnus for decades waiting for Alec to start appearing at his side. Technically she could have gone to Magnus while they were freaking out trying to find Alec and explaining but that would possibly ruin getting Alec home so she didn't. She was pretty pleased to get the call inviting her over knowing now was the time. Now that she doesn't have to stay away she and Alec become buddies :)

Thank you for asking!

#My Writing

[graveyardnails]

But Tonight Is Just Like Any Other Night

Authors Note: I wrote this when I woke up at  5AM and was feeling not good. I did some light editing, but overall I just needed to express some emotions I’ve been dealing with recently. Also, this scenario would def not work in the real world lol I am aware. I just wanted to write some comfort about one of the Moon Knight boys.

ALSO: I forgot to mention, I got the idea for Jake's eyes from @/glitchedknight on Twitter bc I am not a fan of giving Jake a red eye.

Summary: You leave a party feeling alone and hopeless. Needing to get back home, you decided to hail a taxi.

Warnings: Besides discussions of being very sad and alone, there aren’t really any.

Word count: 1.8K

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It  was abnormally humid and hot in Chicago. Your sweater stuck to your body, making it more uncomfortable. All you wanted to do was go home and cry in your bed. Not standing on the road, trying to hail a taxi. 

    It was way too late to take the cta. The buses also have ceased their routes. At this point, you’d pay $40 for a 15 minute taxi ride back to your apartment. 

    In the distance, you saw the bright headlights of a car that started to drive closer to the curb. You raised your hand when the yellow cab with black checkerboard came into view. The taxi stopped next to you and you didn’t hesitate on opening the back seat to slip inside. You kept your gaze low, so the driver wouldn’t see how red and wet your eyes were.

    “Where you heading to?” He spoke with a deep voice, traces of a spanish accent dancing through it. 

    You told him your address. He only nodded before putting the car back in drive. 

    You looked out the window, seeing the skyline of the city you grew up in. It dug a hole in your heart knowing something that you held so close was also the thing that harbored the bulk of your pain. Tonight was no expectation, but the more you thought about it, the more the tears welled up in your eyes. You didn’t want to start crying in this man’s taxi. God, it would be so embarrassing. You wiped your tears away with your sleeve, hoping that he wouldn’t notice. 

    This feeling was overwhelming, all embracing. It swallowed you whole when given the chance. It made you feel like a prisoner in your body, like you didn’t belong. It was dark and rough. It made your days harder and your nights restless. You always tried to fight it, but there were days where you couldn’t fight. You couldn’t cope. Like today. 

    The tears kept pouring from your face, onto your lap. You tried not to make noise but soon you were taking short, small breaths to try to relax. In reality, this never worked, but you could never stop it from happening. 

    “Senorita?” The driver spoke up. You felt his gaze from the rearview mirror, “Are you okay?” 

    You managed to nod, but you needed to verbally answer to make it believable. You quickly collected yourself. 

    “Yes..” You cleared your throat, wiping your tears that were quickly being replenished by fresh one, “Yes, I’m fine.” 

    There was silence and you hoped that was the end of it. 

    “Lo siento, but if you were fine, why would you be crying?” The driver spoke softly. 

    You finally mustered up the courage to meet his gaze in the rearview mirror. A sweet pair of downturned eyes met yours. He had heterochromia; one eye was a deep brown, while the other one had a lighter, almost golden half to it, resembling a crescent moon.  

    ‘’Lo siento tambien,” You responded, your throat wet with how much you had been crying, “I don’t mean to bring my problems into your cab.” 

    The driver's eyes looked away for a second, “You’re not bringing anything bad into my cab,” he assured, “I just hate to see someone crying in my backseat.” 

    You wiped your tears again, resting your hands in your lap. 

    “You don’t have to tell me nothing, but I hope your night gets better.” 

    The ugly feeling in your chest grew agitated at hearing such kind words. It was like a ball, painfully rolling up your throat, making your eyes well with tears again. You tried to hold it back, because you did not want to ugly cry in front of a stranger. 

    The car stopped suddenly, making you jolt. You heard the key come out of the ignition, and the car grew silent. That golden crescent glimmered in the rearview mirror. 

    “Take your time, cariño. Let it out.” He spoke softer this time, his gaze breaking yours. 

    Your chest started heaving before you could even think about his words and another waterfall of tears escaped you, pouring down your face. You tried to cry into your hands, but it didn’t matter. Nothing felt suitable to contain your sadness. It felt so bottomless.

    “Cariño, I know I’m only your driver but if you need anything, please let me know. I can -” 

“I want a hug,” You blurted without thinking, “Please.” 

There was a small pause before you heard the driver's door open, close, then the backseat door open. 

The driver slipped inside, keeping his distance. He eyed you almost hesitantly. 

    You looked at him, tears still welling up in your eyes, and his expression softened. 

He looked so kind. His eyes were soft and endearing towards you, making your heart pound in your chest. He wore a newsboy cap that had a few stray curls poking out of it, and wore a white button up with a black tie. If this was any other night, you would already be running out of the taxi, but something was different. Something about him felt safe. 

You closed the space between you two, catching him off guard. Your arms wrapped around his neck. His arms weren’t around you at first, but when your hold tightened, he wrapped his arms around you, bringing you in just as tight. 

He smelled like tobacco and aftershave. You cried embarrassingly hard into his shirt collar. 

He rubbed small circles into your back, speaking softly, “Si, Si. Let it out cariño,” 

“I feel so stupid.” You admitted through sobs, “I always feel so stupid and alone. I have nothing.” 

The driver held you tighter as you spoke through a heaving breath, “I need you to control your breathing. You’re going to get light headed.” You didn’t listen. 

You heard him let out a small breath, “Breathe with me, preciosa. Come on.” He urged with a light tap onto your ribs. 

You forced yourself to take more consistent breaths. 

“On the count of three, you’re going to take a deep breath with me, then hold it, and then let it out for 3. Got it?” 

You nodded. 

“Smart girl. Okay, follow me.” His chest expanded against yours and you followed suit, counting in your head. You held it, then released it as he counted to 3 again. 

You did this 3 times until your breath was coming more consistent. 

“Now tell me what is making such a pretty lady cry.” 

You took another deep breath before starting again. 

“I feel so alone. I can be in a room of 100 people and still feel all alone.” You explained, “I feel so stupud being in groups of people who are already friends. I feel so unnecessary and useless.” Your voice wavered as the feelings started to feel raw again, “I-I can’t s-shake it. I am so miserable.” 

There was a long moment of silence as you kept crying, thinking about how everyone at the party had just tolerated you there. How you had small talk all night that fizzled out into uncomfortable silence. You watched everyone look away from you, sipping their drinks and changing the conversation immediately. 

“Why do you want to be friends with people who make you feel like that?” He asked simply, 

You took a few more deep breaths to calm yourself, considering your words. 

‘“I just want to feel included. I want to have friends.” It made you feel pathetic, but it was true. You were tired of feeling so alone. 

“Lo entiendo, pero ¿por qué quieres estar cerca de personas que te hacen sentir así?” 

You sniffled, “I like the way they’re friends with each other. They’re always laughing and smiling. They look like they have f-fun together.” 

“You need to find people who want to act that way towards you. Not these pendejos who make you cry like this.” 

 You sniffled. Deep in your heart you knew he was right. 

“I feel so stupid reacting like this for people who don’t care about me.” 

“You don’t need to feel stupid. You want to feel what everyone else wants to feel- belonging.” The driver assured you, “don’t go where they don’t want you, cariño. You deserve better than that.” 

You let out another big breath, relaxing into him. There was another moment of silence where his words were finally cementing themselves in you. You had gone through all this trouble to impress people who clearly didn’t want anything to do with you. And for what? Those people were out partying still, having a great time, and you were here having a breakdown. They were out being ignorant of how miserable they made you, and you didn’t want people who didn’t care about your wellbeing as much as you did theirs. This stranger had shown you more kindness now than anyone at that party had. 

Slowly, you pulled away from the hug, wiping your excess tears on the back of your hand. You smiled at the man, embarrassed at your behavior. 

“You are getting tipped well today.” You joked. 

He smiled sweetly, tilting his head to the right slightly making the golden crescent in his eyes glimmer, “don’t worry about it.” He assured you. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t get your name.” 

“Jake. Jake Lockley.” 

You sat in the passenger seat as Jake drove you home. He played some music and told you stories that brightened up your mood. When he stopped outside your apartment, you felt sad about leaving. 

“Ya llegamos,” Jake announced, looking at the small building you called home. 

You smiled sadly, “gracias por todo,” you couldn’t find the words to express your gratitude, “I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t pick me up.” 

Jake returned the smile, and then ripped off a piece of paper from a form that was tucked underneath the sunvisor. He rummaged in his pockets, producing a pen, and scribbled something down. 

“If you ever need a ride again, you let me know.” Jake handed you the paper with a phone number scribbled on it, “I don’t care where you are. I’ll drive anywhere in the city for you.” 

You almost wanted to cry again but you held it back to take the paper from his hands. 

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” 

You exchanged smiles, “how much do I owe you?” 

Jake brushed you off with a small wave of his hand, “Por favor, cariño, do not worry about it.” 

“I caused you way more trouble than I am worth. You have to let me pay you.” 

Jake shook his head, not entertaining it. 

“Let me buy you lunch the next time you pick me up, then.” 

“Over my dead body are you paying for our meal.” You both laughed until it faded into silence. 

“Thank you, again.” 

“Cualquier cosa por ti, cariño.”

#moon knight #Jake Lockley x Reader #Jake Lockely fluff #jake lockley #mcu #oscar issac #steven grant #marc spector #fluff #fan fiction #fanfic #chicago #jake lockely x you #marvel

[hushroomloser]

Chris Evans Short Story Part 8

Part 8 

Pairing: ReaderxChrisEvans 

Request: Meeeee 

Prompt: “I’m sorry I thought you were somebody else”

Warning(s): I’m a first-time writer

Word count: 586

A/N: Hey online strangers, I wrote the first part a while back and have the rest of the story in my drive but have never posted it. This story I wrote way back in 2019 :'(. I will be posting at random times if you stay and read it thank you so much. Enjoy xoxox - I have no idea how many parts this story and technically I haven’t an ending yet. 

The dreaded block has come and taken me. That and university seems to enjoy giving me some solid sucker-punches every few days. Alas like life I might have given up on this story and writing it altogether. I do not know who’s enjoying this mess of a story. Lol, anywho I will update once again in a blue moon and edit all of the parts to make them more coherent. Especially now that AI can write cry ... my unattainable dreams

Xoxo 

From a tired girly 

White, red and purple consumed the cafeteria, filled with residents, doctors and other health professionals. Rush hour had yet to peak, and yet it was slowly starting to fill up. 

Maybe we shouldn’t have coffee here, he thought. 

Chris roamed around the hospital to find the best spot to grab a quick drink. Unfamiliar with the place he had gotten lost a few times, asking strangers to the nearest exit every time. 

“Hey, you’re that guy right.” 

Dreading it, he hadn’t been recognized yet, mostly because everyone seemed busy. He did not mind taking a picture and talking with a fan but he did not want to be late for his date, especially since he hadn’t found a place to take her yet. He turned around, looking at the person who had called him. 

“Hi, I think so.” 

In his shyness, he managed to smile at the tall stranger wearing a lab coat. He took a quick glance at the name embroidered on his coat, the name was Doctor Gagnon. 

“Are you looking for Lizzy, uhm Dr. Kelley by any chance?” Frowning his brows, he wondered how he knew this specific doctor. A little sad that maybe hospital gossip had been playing a major role in his interaction. 

His anxiety had been slowly elevated when the stranger seemed to recognize the emotion on his face, feeling his uneasiness towards him he quickly said “I am her finance, if that helps, do not worry she hasn’t told anyone. I just know because she texted me about the girl that hit you at the coffee shop.” he giggled thinking about her hitting the Captain. 

Chris did not know why he would giggle or if it was an inside joke or anything he was just surprised at how this stranger, this doctor had been so nonchalant about who he was. He had been used to people being starstruck, especially after playing Captain America. 

He paused and looked at him, he was beautiful even for a straight man the guy he was staring at was a very beautiful man, the movies did not do him justice he thought. 

“Do not worry”, he laughed 

“I won’t tell anyone that I saw the Chris Evans''

“What are you looking for?” the gentle giant asked. He wondered if people got scared of him because of his demeanour and his height. He was a very imposing and confident man compared to him, 

Chris did not know what to think, the giant seemed so nice. “Uhmm thank you, I was just looking for a private coffee shop in this honestly big hospital. “ he started to ramble, ·” How is this soooo big but looks soo small I feel like I am in a maze”, he told the stranger, he felt at ease for some reason telling him of his struggles. The strangers giggled and said, “Yeah I am still confused about it and I have been here for like 5 years it is a very strange place.” 

“The coffee shop next to the parking lot at the end of the hallway should be private enough if you are bringing her there.” he smiled. 

Chris wondered how he knew but he guessed that they were all friends. Chris smiled back, shyly not knowing what to say. 

‘Thank you”, he said shyly, he was truly embarrassed that someone had figured out what he wanted to do. He did not know what to say or add he just stared at the stranger, a very handsome stranger to boot.

….. 

#chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #short story #fanfic #writing #chris evans #creative writing

[gallant-basilisk]

HEY, HELLO I wanted to ask if you can do and todobakudeku x Yandere!reader but if you have done this already plese tag me in it and also, I love your writing <3

TodoBakuDeku X Yandere!Reader

(First time writing yan reader, apologies in advance)

Here's a quick heads-up! I'm only finishing this half finished fic and I'm not doing any editing to what was already written, therefore you may come across grammatical errors and a sudden change in story-telling.

.

"Good morning Momo, Uraraka!" You ran up to the two, tackling them in a hug. "Good morning, Y/N," Uraraka yawned and her lips tugged into a tired smile. "You seem unusually excited today. Did something happen?" "Ah, well.. no.. not yet, at least." "Ooh!" The brunette exclaimed with new found energy, "something's gonna happen today?" "I presume it's something good..?" Came Momo's addition and you pondered for a moment—what to say, exactly. "I actually have something to ask from you guys.. can we--" "Alright problem children, settle down already.." Aizawa's sudden voice made you jump slightly, and everyone quickly ran to their seats.

A few seconds after taking your seat you felt your phone buzz and checked it cautiously.

— - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - —

The three musketeers GC

Momo

I'm sorry about earlier. But we can resume the conversation after class...?

Uraraka

There's nothing happening rn, lets just talk here. It seemed like you wanted it to be private anyways @Y/N

You

Yeah, ur right. It also feels more comfortable over text.

Is that okay @Momo?

Momo

If it's that important, then I can't argue. I want to make sure everything's alright with you, since you're my dear friend.

Uraraka

Aww, Momo!

You

Thanks Momo, Uraraka ❤️

Uraraka

Alright, shoot the question bestie

You

😂 Alright, alright

So the thing is..

Ilikesomeonebutidontknowbowtogjfabkuttconfessing

Momo

Uh..

Uraraka

You like someone?? 👀🎉

You

Well, yes

Multiple someones, actually

Momo

I'm not trying to insult you, but what happened?

Uraraka

Come on Momo

They're flustered and just speed wrote 🤭

Momo

I wasn't aware there was something like that 🤔

By the way, @Y/N

You

Yes?

Momo

Who are you talking about? Are they in our class?

You

.. perhaps

Uraraka

OoOoOO

Don't forget any detail!

You

What detail?

Uraraka

Who they are, how many, do you want help choosing between them, etc

You know, what friends usually asks dear friends

You

You guys really like the term dear friend, huh

But I don't want to choose between them

Momo

Y/N I hope you're not thinking about something bad

Uraraka

Huh, wym Mom?

Mom*

Mom*

MOMO

GEEZ

Oops, i mean geez

😵

You

Lol

Momo

Are you.. okay? 😅

Uraraka

Yes, just autocorrect :/

Sorry

Where were we?

Momo

Right

So what did you think about doing Y/N?

You

Ever heard of polyamory? 😐

Momo

How do you know these someones would be polyamorous? Btw, yes, I had

You

That's why I wanted to talk with you guys

You are close to them

Uraraka

Alright, but WHO

You

.....

@Momo

Momo

We can't exactly help if you don't tell us.. 😅

You

😄

Uraraka

😶

Momo

I don't mean to pressure you or anything, just...

You know

Help us help you

You

😥

Fine

Uraraka

Finally!!!!!

Momo

😅

You

So it's kinda awkward, but there's 3 guys

Just um.. don't judge , ok?

Itsmidoriyaandbakugoandtodoroki

Momo

Please type one word at a time

Or space them

It's hard on the eyes

😐

Uraraka

Um

Momo

"It's Midoriya and Bakugou and Todoroki"

Uraraka

OH

Oh.

oh..

Are you sure??

You

Yeah, very 🙈

Momo

Well, I think Midoriya and Todoroki might agree to a polyamorous relationship if they like someone, but I don't know how they feel about you

no offense!

on the other hand Bakugou....

🤔

Well, tbh I don't know him that well

Uraraka

Balugou def not gonna agree

He's the type o guy who keeps his partners for himself and "doesn't like sharing"

Momo

Especially not with those two, yeah.

But @Y/N

You

Hoo boy, here we go

Momo

What?

Yk whatever not gonna question you anymore

But how come you like them all?

I mean, they're.. kinda different, personality and appearance wise. 🤔

You

Yeah, but it's not like I have an exact type either

Momo

Do you ?

I don't remember ever getting involved with your love life

Prior to now, that is

You

Cause I didn't feel this type of intensity before now

🥰

Momo

I see, well

How can we help

...

Speaking of we, @Uraraka

Smth happen?

Uraraka

What no

Y?

Momo

You just acted a bit off

Uraraka

How?

Momo

You didn't bombard Y/N with questions

Uraraka

Still haven't thought of one

It's so sudden

I never even noticed y/n liked someone...

Momo

Well, you have plenty of time to think about questions to ask

But we should help Y/N now

Uraraka

How? 😅

It's not like i or you have any experience, especially with more than one person

You

Ouch 😔

Momo

😅

We can still think of something

No?

Uraraka

If you say so..

I'll chat with you guys once I thought of something

Momo

Alright..

You

Thanks, again

This means a lot to me guys

❤️

Momo

Np 🥰

Uraraka

Yeah

😅

— - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - —

IRL

You turned off your phone and briefly glanced at Uraraka and Momo. The latter seemed to follow through the lesson without fail after turning her phone off, while Uraraka played with her hair anxiously and chewed her lips. "Heh.." You couldn't help your lips tugging up into a small smirk at the sight of her—hopelessly thinking. Just the sentence "I have a crush on Midoriya" threw her off so much, you wonder what would happen were you to go further.

But it's enough for now.

For now.

~

"Y/N.. Y/N..." "Mmm.. yeah..?" You murmured softly—with your head nested on the desk and covered by your arms—, and, after recognizing the oh so familiar voice, you sprung up from your seat so quickly you knocked your chair back. "Midoriya! Hi!" The words left your mouth in the form of sharp breaths. "Ahaha, hi." The flustered boy scratched his face and you quickly apologized for the jumpscare, even going as far as to bow down. Which earned you an embarrassed chuckle from said boy. "I didn't mean to bother you either, just wanted to ask for your help with.. something." Midoriya averted his eyes and you took this chance to quickly scan the classroom, only to realize it was only the two of you in the room. You were happy, but also a bit disappointed that no one could witness Midoriya's adorableness and flustered state, though you'll definitely carve out every bastards' eyes who stole a glance when you finally get the chance to. But your top priority right now was the flustered boy in front of you, with his soft locks of green-black hair partially covering his eyes that glanced up once in a while and an awkward smile resting on his face. The sight of him made you feel as it always did—you could barely suppress the urge to pull him into your chest and pepper kisses on every. single. freckle on his body. The way he'd whimper and needily grab onto you, starving for your touch just as much as you do. You wanted to spoil him, to spoil ALL of them. The way all three boys would gaze up at you with glossy eyes, impatiently waiting for your return when you leave. When they finally realize how much you mean to them they'd throw away any silly dreams or thoughts, like wanting to be the No.1 hero. They don't need to work to gain the fake appreciation of those good for nothing members of society. So long as they--

"As expected, it's unreasonable from me, huh.." What?- Oh, for god's sake, you got lost in your fantasy. Again. Now look at the boy—that adorable pout on his face that makes you want to cup his face and force his mouth open to-- alright, Y/N, get your head out of the gutter. "I'm sorry if I upset you." "No, no no no no no!" Before you could regain your composure, your hands shot out to hold Midoriya's. "..?!" Midoriya's sharp gasp was the one thing that pulled you out of your daze as you kept rubbing his hands, which were unlike his face—rough, scarred and full of experience. There's definitely no way you'd be able to take him on in a one-on-one combat. "So-sorry!" You blurted out, but still didn't let go of his hands. "It's-it's just that--that, you know--you have verynicehands!..." "Um." "I-I.. I'm sorry--that sounded incredibly weirdbutididntmeanitinaweirdway or anything--notthatithinkyoucansaysomethinglikethatwithoutsoundinglikeacreep--but-but--you get it right??" "To-to be honest, you were talking a little bit too quickly. Can you repeat it?" Midoriya flashed an innocent smile making you feel as if a thousand butterflies would burst out of you at any. moment. You sighed, and regretfully, let go of Midoriya's hands, already missing the rough texture of his skin against your own.

"Nevermind. To be honest..." You began, looking at Midoriya—staring back at you with a heartbreaking look on his face. "...It's--I'd love to--that, yes... I'd love that..." You cursed yourself mentally for not having the heart to admit you weren't listening to whatever he was asking you and can only pray that it's something you're actually capable of doing. You'd rather die than to disappoint him. But that can wait, you'd rather try to engrave Midoriya's beaming face into your memory. The way he squeezed your hands. The muttered "thank yous" and that warm laugh that classified more as childish giggle will forever be a cherished memory to you, only overwritten with even more intimate moments with him.

"Really, Y/N, you're really nice— I'm sorry for involving you in something silly like this." Midoriya bowed to you and, before you could say anything, ran off through the second door. And as soon as his footsteps faded away, the first door of the classroom slid open—Uraraka held the door with her head dipped so low she might as well been bowing down to you.

"Uraraka-chan!" You called out in a sweet voice, expecting a giggle or smile from the naive girl. "What's wrong? Do you need me to help with anything, dear friend?" Instead, she raised her head and glared at you—god, that annoying baby face really doesn't work in her favor, but it sure as hell makes your blood boil. The mere fact that she was here, most likely expecting to find Midoriya all on his own, to take him away from you even when you told her already how much you yearned for him, for Katsuki, for Shoto—It's obvious!— you are the only one who can have them. Yet, despite making it so clear to her, how they all belonged to you, she still can't give up on Izuku?

"Y/N." Now what, does she want to play the victim—to make you out to be the bad guy?

Probably...

"Yes?" The word escaped through gritted teeth wishing to brutally rip her throat out, maybe that, that would make her curse-like presence perish.

She gulped audibly and took a confident stance as if she was facing a fucking low-worth criminal.

The nerve in her..!

"Wait, no, before you continue..." You raised a hand and continued shortly after, "for how long did you eavesdrop on us? What exactly did you hear? If what you heard was the reason why you're... Mad at me, then you have no right to." "Wha--" "YOU were not a participant in OUR conversation, at the most, you were just stalking me or (my) Izuku and only happened to hear it—that does NOT equal being part of it. So if--" "SHUT UP!!" Uraraka shouted and held her head, tears prickling the corners of her eyes.

!?

"You knew it already, didn't you?" You cock your head, "what could you possibly be referring to?" Her lips form a straight line and the hurt in her eyes sells her out. "Oh, it's Midoriya. Well, I would've probably guessed that sooner or later." "You're so heartless.."

"You should stop, before something happens."

But she didn't.

"Seriously--"

/ Whack /

It stings... Your cheek stings and your ears are ringing..

Did...

Did she really...

She just slapped you...

SHE. SLAPPED.YOU.

You truly didn't expect for the dumb bitch to be this dumb. Not a single ounce of courage, merely stupidity.

"Oi." You slowly raise your head, only to meet with a truly horrified expression—all the blood left her face and she, mouth parted, made shallow breaths almost as if forgetting how to breathe, like a fish stuck on land. "I-I.." She stammered, robotically raising her hands in a defensive way, probably afraid you'd hit back.

Which you really wanted to. A lot.

But, alas, nothing goes according to your wishes.

Momo steps into the classroom with Todoroki by her side, and, judging by their expressions, they probably were witness to Uraraka's uncharacteristic melt down.

"Uraraka-san." Todoroki called out, but she didn't turn to face him nor Momo. "Y/N, are you okay?" Momo ran up to you and held your face in her hands, examing the red handprint that slowly formed on your cheek. Truth to be told, it wasn't anything more than a faint uncomfortable feeling and it's most likely gonna disappear after a while.

But.

"Hnn..Momo, did," you sniffled as small droplets of clear liquid trailed down your face and rolled down Momo's hands, "did I do so-something wrong??" "No, you didn't!" A golden opportunity was presented to you. She turned towards Uraraka, "We might've not been here the whole time, but I know that you wouldn't do anything bad intentionally. And so wouldn't Uraraka." Huh? "And I'm sure we can talk this out, right, Uraraka, Y/N?" "Momo..!" Uraraka smiled at Momo with shiny eyes, but you, on the other hand... You should just get rid of them already. They're only obstacles and they never helped you in any way. "Are you okay?" Todoroki's voice tore through the red clouding your eyes. Right. "I don't know why Uraraka-san would shout at and hit me." "That's--" "Why did you hit them?" Todoroki cocked his head and raised a brow, ever so slightly at her. "I..." Uraraka gulped and looked at Todoroki, then Momo. Then you. No. "Y/N's lying about me." "What?" Momo looked at you and Uraraka, a puzzled expression evident on her face. This is not. "Lying about what? You hit me! EVERYONE SAW IT!" "Y/N." Your name fell out of Todoroki's mouth, like a whisper. No. You hadn't prepared for this situation. And you're losing it. They're all looking at you. As if you're not the victim. And truth to be told, you weren't ever really good at acting, especially not under stress. This... THIS ISN'T RIGHT. What should you do...

"Is... Is this about our chat?" You put on your best pouty face and cling to Todoroki, peeking at Uraraka from behind him. "You're mad at me because you like... Midoriya?" "--Nnh...!" She grit her teeth and averted her gaze to the floor, clenching her hands so hard the nails dug into her skin. "Uraraka?" Momo stepped forward to stand before her. "Is what Y/N said true?" "No, I don't like him... I love him! But they knew!..." "Eep!" She pointed at you with a glare and you quickly hugged Todoroki from behind in an act of terror. He turned his head back, checking on you and smiled reassuringly. Aww, how cute. So caring. You almost feel as though you should get rid of Momo and Uraraka right now, before either of those idiots hurt Todoroki. But that's not right. Not yet. "Thank you, Todoroki." You try your best to put on a sad smile, but it's just so difficult when you're so happy. Even with the way things are, it doesn't matter as long as he only has you before him. Not those... Things.

But God does it piss you off how you can't just wrap your arms around him. Can't lock him up or tie him to you... Just yet.

Just a little more.

"This is a sensitive topic to both of you (I assume), so let's talk things out when we're back at the privacy of our dorms." Momo glances around worriedly and presents an uncertain smile, probably with the intention to lighten the mood. "Is that okay with you two?" Uraraka agrees to the suggestion without much hesitation, she trusts Momo's ability to find a solution for everything, after all. You, on the other hand, swallow every venomous word attempting to escape past your lips and begrudgingly nod along.

Your fingers twist the fabric of Todoroki's uniform tightly in anger, but the boy seemingly misinterprets it as fear— he turns towards you slightly and smiles. His hand twitched, contemplating whether he should comfort you with a reassuring touch, but to your disappointment he decided against it and settled with just a smile that turned awkward with uncertainty.

Momo releases a breath of relief and puts a hand on Uraraka's back comfortingly, and slowly leads her out of the classroom. But not before shooting a strange look to Todoroki that you can't quite understand, but you can guess it meant something along the lines of 'lets separate them' or... something, because the next thing you know Todoroki's walking out (in a different direction from the girls) and you instinctively follow him, still clinging to his uniform.

You don't say anything during the walk, and you only stop when you arrive to the entrance of the dorms and Todoroki turns around— forcing you to let go of him— and scratches his neck. "Y/N." "Yes?" You answer immediately, but it doesn't divert his attention from your intense staring. Though he doesn't comment on it. "...You like Midoriya?" "No! Yes– wait, um... This is a little more complicated than it seems." You huff and massage your temple, contemplating lying. Todoroki irks a brow, but doesn't speak any further.

Should you come clean? Todoroki's a rational person, plus he wouldn't judge you, right? Maybe telling him your feelings might provide a better solution than... Well, it's still a plan B, but you shouldn't jinx things just yet.

"So, let's say hypothetically I have a "crush" on Midoriya," you fiddle with your hands and avoid looking at Todoroki for fear of exposing yourself, "but at the same time— I have a crush on an another person too..... And one other. Hypothetically saying!" He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't seem to want to leave just yet, though you're still afraid from looking up and meeting his eyes, so you can't be sure. "What would that make me?" "... I don't know." He answers thoughtfully. "You like three people?" "Hypothetically only, it's a hypothesis! Like a "what if" question." You blurt out hastily, whipping your head up and finally meeting Todoroki's gaze. Fortunately or unfortunately, he doesn't seem to have an opinion formed, or he just doesn't show it with the stoic expression he's wearing.

"Okay." He says with a bit of a pause. "I'm sorry, I don't know what answer you want." "It's not– nevermind. Let me reword that— say, hypothetically, if you were the one I had a crush on... What would you do?" "One of the three?" "Y-yeah." You sigh and carefully examine as he raises his hand to his chin in thought, seriously contemplating your "hypothesis". "...What would that mean?" "What?" "If you had a 'crush' on me, what would that mean?" "That I like you? I really don't know what you're asking."

"Then I would say thank you." "....That's it?" "Yes... Was there something else?" "Sometimes I forget how annoying it can be to talk about certain topics with you..." You grumble under your breath, but you also know that no matter how dense Todoroki can be, he's still someone you genuinely love. Even if your love may be a little too intense..... sometimes.

"No, thank you for answering my hypothetical questions. But I have to go back to my dorm now, so see you later." You say dejectedly and wander into the building, and you feel a slight pang in your chest as you consider that Todoroki may be easier to convince under different circumstances.

~ At night ~

It's about time the bakusquad leaves for their respective rooms (and Bakugou will be alone), so you use your quirk to transform into a small cat and climb into his window to wait.

"...What are you talking about?" Your ears perk up to the sudden change in atmosphere, and you try your best to eavesdrop without being spotted. "Midobro! He told me he's dating someone." Kirishima exclaimed, flashing a toothy smile to Bakugou. "No way!!" Mina screeched, but even that ear-piercing noise couldn't deter your thoughts from wandering from what the redhead had said. "Are you sure it wasn't just a prank or some kind of test from the teachers??" "Kamibro, he was blushing and rambling the whole time we talked." Kirishima turned towards Bakugou for support, but didn't receive any. "The nerd's always blushing and rambling to everyone, besides, there's no idiot stupider than him who would date him." He grumbled, briefly raising his head from his phone, and quickly returned to it. "Man..." Kirishima groaned and looked out the window— you quickly ducked to the side, hoping he wouldn't see you—, then he looked around the room once more. "So you guys aren't interested in who's Midobro's date? Not even a little bit?" "No, dumbass. Because he doesn't have one. Tch!" Bakugou commented, not raising his head this time. Kirishima turned to the other two, receiving unsure grins. "I guess we should go to our own rooms already, it's getting pretty late anyways..." He pouts, and the trio leaves files out of the room, saying a brief "good night" to the blond, now laying on his bed and leaning against the wall.

"Mreow~" You quickly seize the opportunity and paw at the glass until Bakugou notices you, and opens the window. "You're early.." He says thoughtfully as you trot towards the soft bed, and curl yourself up next to the pillow. It's something you've been doing for a few weeks now, taking on the form of a small cat and hanging out with Bakugou late at night— the first time you were impatient, thus careless, and you almost got caught in your original (human) form inside his room. But a few days later, when you were on a walk you saw a young kitten and you got an idea— and to your delight, that idea worked out well and Bakugou allowed you inside his room, even petted you and allowed so many more things that would've been considered weird, or even creepy if you were to do it as a human. (Since then, you've also began visiting Midoriya and Todoroki in their rooms when they were alone, and when morning came you took something from there as a keepsake, of course being careful not to make them too suspicous).

He plops down next to you, but this time he lays on his back and pats his stomach. You happily climb onto him and nuzzle into his neck, purring and kneading as he gently strokes your fur. His lips tug into a small, silly smile and he sighs. You know how relaxing it is for him to pet you and you'd be lying if you said this isn't one of your favourite things to do. But in a few hours, after you made sure he was asleep you'd go to visit your Izuku and Todoroki, as you've been doing for the past few weeks.

Otherwise, how could you sleep peacefully, if there was a chance either one of them could be hurt or even worse... So you have to make sure they are safe, every night, even if they don't know, even if they never thank you.

— - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - —

I really don't want to make this too long. I really didn't know how to end this, so this may seem abrupt.

Ps. I wanted a build-up, but it definitely turned a little awkward. I just didn't want to write the typical (and cringy) yandere falls in love and is immediately killing everyone who even looks at the subject of their love.

I might write another Yandere!Reader x The trio fic (that would be a 100% better) sometime in the future, but right now I'm just glad I got this one off my shoulders. Thank you for reading! ':)

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #yandere #todobakudeku x reader #yandere reader #todobakudeku x yandere reader #bnha shoto todoroki #bnha katsuki bakugou #bnha izuku midoriya #reader insert #request #reqs open

[lesmiserablol]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @satans-poptarts thank you!! <3

1. how many works do you have on Ao3? 84

2. what's your total Ao3 word count? 378,809

3. what fandoms do you write for? atla/lok, les mis, marvel, and ofmd

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

gone fishin'

emergency boyfriend

the strategy of harmony

just say yes

a brush of fingers, a kick of shins

5. do you respond to comments? usually! sometimes it takes me a while but i try to

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? HAHA i would say yours

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? hmm most of them have happy endings and they are fairly similar, though i would say every fic ending in the cat cafe au series was written for maximum sweetness

8. Do you get hate on fics? no but i love the insane reactions to the angsty ones lmaooo

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? nope

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? no lmao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yes -_-

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! i have a fic translated into Ukrainian and i translated my first zukka fic into spanish. i also have had six fics made into podfics which makes me happy

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes!! (this love is) a long time coming it was sooo much fun i would love to do it again (and almost did) but i just do not really have time for writing these days

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? zukka is in my top three all time favorites but they are my number one favorite to write

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ugh this one fic that i wrote in the very early days of zukka that is very divorcedzukka coded.....zuko had abolished the monarchy and iroh fired him from the jasmine dragon because he knew zuko could be happier so zuko left to visit the swt and see his friends (and his former lover) and at first things are awkward but then they become friends again quickly and katara says something about sokka's letters and zuko is like uhhh sokka hasnt sent me a letter in years and katara is like wtf and zuko thinks he must have been writing another lover or something but then he finds a bunch of heartfelt unsent letters sokka had written for zuko!!! anyway there is also mention of a failed proposal and other things and bed sharing and i really love it but it is just a bunch of random scenes thrown together without any cohesion so it needs a lot of work. i really want to finish it one day but i just dont think i will

16. What are your writing strengths? ahhh the most frequent compliments in comments i get are about solid characterizations and good dialogue and making my readers feel things (mainly angst lol)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i have a hard time with exposition or writing action sometimes because i will be so focused on the dialogue that everything else isnt as fun to write. idk if that comes across to readers at all but its something i work on a lot in the editing stages

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? just dont be a dumbass about it

19. First fandom you wrote for? h*rry p*tter unfortunately

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

easily my baby my love my precious my child zukka tangled au now that i see you...i love tangled more than anything and i really worked my ass off making sure it was faithful to the characters and the story of tangled while also very much making it fit the most important aspects of the atla world. i have reread it a few times and i am just sooooo proud of it and happy with how it turned out. close second is no love like your love

tagging @zukkaoru @backhurtyy @that-was-anticlimactic @sokkalore @goldrushzukka @marriedzukka only if you want mwah <3

#tag game

[megamanrecut]

I was rereading season 1, which has been very fun, lots of details that stand out more with more context, but there's this one bit with Proto man that shows up more than once that's interesting.

In the first episode, Proto man tells Mega man that "Doc never got around to naming [him]... Too busy with his other inventions." Which is followed up a little during the Mega Pinocchio episode, with Proto man saying he's always been Proto (although not actually saying Dr. Light named him that, which turns out to be true), and when Mega man comments on that sounding a little cold, comments that Dr. Light is "Oblivious to details... I like Proto. It's better than Paaasd or something" (which lol)

Now that I've read the season 0 episode, it caught my eye that the name thing doesn't really get talked about there! Proto names himself very quickly, with no thought or fanfare behind it. Very fitting, but paired with the season 1 lines, I'm trying to puzzle out the incongruity of it (Proto you lying bastard why can't you be easier to understand!!!)

On one hand, if the subtle but present implication that Proto might feel bitter about his name is a retcon, it's one that I wouldn't have spotted if I hadn't reread season 0 recently. It's also just as likely that I'm reading into a set of lines that were just meant to be snarky, he definitely does that a lot too lol.

But I am curious if there's some level of truth to that sort of bitter undertone that I thought was implied! Proto man is a difficult character to understand, especially in season 1, and in general when trying to understand his feelings towards Dr. Light. Their relationship is so interesting to me, so sorry if I really did just read way too deep into it haha!

There was a slight perhaps retcon! (sorry this took awhile, limited internet access atm, also this is long/rambly lol)

I wrote season 0 waaay after season 1 (between Master of Disaster Part 2 and 3 to be exact) and in original s0 drafts, the naming thing didn’t happen as early, but when I finally began editing it that seemed unnecessarily weird/creepy for Dr. Light. So, instead the name thing came up on Proto’s activation day. Some of the emphasis around Proto’s name in S1 (particularly E1) was for dramatic irony.

So for character analysis:

Outside of that, still same deal with Dr. Light/Proto, just more focused on char divisions over specific, resolvable drama. The whole dynamic between Dr. Light and Proto has always been strained at best to total estrangement at its core, and sometimes painful to write. Dr. Light was never really in the wrong, Proto just developed into his own person that wanted nothing to do with ‘domestic human life’ or to have any type of authority figure. Its a huge philosophical difference, but its also a son who feels smothered and hopeless rejecting his loving father who tried his best to understand but could never make it work in time. That dynamic still exists, unsolved, in the good!Proto AUs (Master of Disaster Part 3, Become the Night)

Still, Proto isn’t really bitter by Dr. Light’s actions per se, he was just bitter about living under his roof where he was bored and under stimulated. Even Mega was surprised by this at first. In Mega-Pinocchio he was expecting a specific drama lead to Proto’s defection then was surprised when Proto also denied that Dr. Light really did anything wrong, and even reassured the naming thing didn’t bother him (I had already written the ‘naming’ scene in season 0, which remained unchanged, just happened earlier) It wasn’t until Future Shock when he began understanding Proto a little.

Either way tho, Proto wasn’t really bitter about his name (at least there was never intended bitter subtext there, but can be interpreted however!) I think in a way even if Dr. Light *had* given him a name (like Blues?) he would have been quick to drop that when he became Proto Man (kinda like how he thinks ‘Break Man’ is cringy in Become the Night or how Elec Man calling him ‘Light’ drives him nuts). He doesn’t really like the connection, and would prefer to have no name or a generic one over one picked for him by Dr. Light.

#questiom time #proto man #mega man #Dr. Light #season 0 #season 1 #season 2 #recut au #the beginning #mega pinocchio #future shock #master of disaster #become the night

[writing-from-supernova]

“Did you mean what you said, back then? Do you... still think I should have stayed dead?”

A Wrightworth drabble I did a while ago. I actually still quite enjoy it, despite the awkward way I switched between whose mind we could read into at a given moment. It’s very sweet and very much will not be the last Wrightworth thing I write.

I wrote this before I finished Turnabout Revolution, so if there’s any weird statements that’s why. I think it would take place between Turnabout Revolution and Turnabout Time Traveler (though to be frank I haven’t finished Time Traveler, lol). I did edit at least one line to make sense given Revolution.

Words: 1.3k

Edgeworth stares out the window from his office as Chief Prosecutor. The Steel Samurai figure on the windowsill feels like an oppressive gaze, judging him for what he's about to do. He quietly turns the figure to face outside, then swivels around in his chair, glancing at the papers upon his desk.

Of course that oaf is late. How unlike him it would be if he were to be on time to something as important as th—

The door creaks open, and Edgeworth's finger quickly zips up to his glasses to adjust them. "I was wondering if you would ever arrive."

"What," the not-so-fresh-faced attorney says, "and reject a personal invitation from the Chief Prosecutor himself? Never." Phoenix grins, quickly taking a seat in front of Edgeworth and leaning forward attentively. "So, what was it you needed?"

Edgeworth clears his throat. "Right. So, I'd like your opinion on something." He turns some papers on the table to face Phoenix, then pushes them towards him. They're retirement papers.

"I've been thinking about early retirement. I've done a lot here, more than I can count, and I think it's time for a change. I simply wondered what you would think, as I value your opinion."

Edgeworth blinks up to look at Phoenix's face, only to find it frozen, staring at the documents. There's a short pause, and he knits his brows together. "Wright?"

Phoenix snaps out of it, shaking his head and taking a breath. He seems to smile out of habit, or maybe instinct, but it's clear to Edgeworth something is off. "Oh, I-I'm fine. I just... I suppose this reminded me of something from years ago."

"Oh?" Edgeworth tilts his head. "Pray tell. I'm curious."

"R-Really, it's not all that important now," Phoenix laughs, "but, it did bother me at the time. About the time when you..." His voice fades out. He looks everywhere around the room except at Edgeworth, as his words elude him. The prosecutor can make an educated guess as to what he's thinking.

"When I... disappeared?" Edgeworth suggests quietly.

"Aha, that's... that's it." Phoenix's forced smile finally leaves, replaced by something only reflecting sadness. "I think it reminded me of the letter you left."

"Mm." Edgeworth makes a sound in acknowledgement, but truthfully it feels like it's now his turn to have words elude him. He hides his gaze behind his intertwined fingers in turn upheld by his elbows on the desk. What is there to say about that time? An apology? He's already apologized for leaving without warning. For making Phoenix think he had...

"It would've been better for everyone if you never came back from the dead, Edgeworth!"

...

The words exit Edgeworth's mouth before he can really think about them. "Did you mean what you said, back then? Do you... still think I should have stayed dead?"

Phoenix physically reels from the question. Talk about a kick in the teeth... where did that come from? And why is he asking now...?

Well. Overdue is better than never, he supposes. Phoenix sighs, weighed down by the past. He stands, walking to face one of the walls adorned with examples of Edgeworth's achievement. He never once turns to face Edgeworth himself.

"...I don't want to lie to you. At the time, I did think that. I was... angry." Phoenix crosses his arms, secretly holding onto himself. "I didn't understand yet, how much pain you'd been in since the trial."

Edgeworth is silent.

"And— well, I know it was... if you'll forgive my language, Edgeworth, shitty of me to say. But it's how I honestly felt. And I'm sorry. I've learned a lot. Or, well, I like to think I've learned a lot, since then..."

Edgeworth is silent.

"Maybe I really haven't. I've been trying. Life's just been really chaotic for me since we really had a chance to talk. The disbarment, Trucy, the Wright Anything Agency, mentoring Apollo, the explosion, everything in Khura’in, it's, it's been so much, I hope you don't think I've been purposefully ignoring you, because I haven't, and I..."

Edgeworth is silent as he moves toward Phoenix, and he gently places a hand on his shoulder. Phoenix stops rambling only upon feeling his touch, and finally looks at him.

The prosecutor finally speaks. "If it means anything, Wright, I think you've learned a lot. Matured a lot, too. I..." He pauses to find the right word, the right word, not that word. "I respect you a lot. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for you." To top his words off, he shows the tiniest of genuine smiles. "Thank you."

Phoenix, now wide-eyed like a cat, can barely believe what he's hearing. To hear all that out of Edgeworth's mouth... it's something he had only imagined in his head up until this point. His breath gets shallower. "Miles..."

And, without warning, he hugs him tightly. In the moment, Edgeworth has no idea how to handle it, feeling a buzz well up in his head. He hasn't moved an inch in response. Why is he...? What is Phoenix doing?

Edgeworth, still tensed up, awkwardly brings his arms around the attorney after some seconds have passed. He can't bring himself to stop... whatever this is, but he feels like he wouldn't want to, anyway. He thinks, have I gotten soft?

There isn't much time to process the question as Phoenix begins speaking again, from the depths of Edgeworth's shoulder. "Miles. I want to tell you something I've thought for... a-a long time, but you have to promise me you won't laugh."

Edgeworth raises an eyebrow. He keeps his grip on him, now firm and almost protective. "I won't laugh."

"...I r-really, really love you."

"I... what?" There's an initial wave of confusion, but surprisingly, it's followed by a feeling of contentment. A pang in his heart. Like this was the outcome he really wanted. Was it? Everything's gone cloudy in his usually clear mind.

Phoenix chuckles to rid himself of the awkwardness and anxiety, unsuccessfully. "D-Don't leave me hanging, here. I just... want to know how you feel."

...Maybe Edgeworth can use that word now. He never thought to tell him, figuring Phoenix's feelings for him were platonic, cut and dried. Though his mind is still blurred, this is one thing he feels sure deciding on. He holds him tighter and, in a low but inescapable voice, says...

"I love you, too."

Phoenix feels like he's about to faint. Oh god. His cheeks hurt, he can't stop grinning. "Aha... Miles... you're a lot sillier than you let on..."

"What? What's that supposed to mean...?"

"How many years has it been like this on your part? Did you really think I would reject you so badly that you decided to just not say it...?"

Edgeworth sputters briefly. "I could ask you the same thing. Perhaps we were both rather obvious about it from outsiders..."

"Are you kidding?" Phoenix laughs. "Maya and Trucy teased me about it all the time."

Edgeworth sighs. "And Franziska did the same with me. Gumshoe to a lesser extent."

"Gumshoe?"

"Yes... even him."

"Oh my god." With a smile that could part the heavens, Phoenix laughs again. Edgeworth can't help but to smile with him. Phoenix removes his face from the prosecutor's shoulder and looks up at him, a gleam in his eye. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Not like I have a choice."

"Don't be like that!" He giggles. "Listen... I want to kiss you. Can I?"

There's another pause. It almost seems like Edgeworth will say no, until, with his own little smirk, "It's may I, not can I."

"Oh my god, Miles..." He snorts. "Shut up. I love you." That's all the permission he needs, and after god knows how many years of dreaming about this, Phoenix finally kisses Edgeworth. And after god knows how many years of yearning for this, Edgeworth finally kisses Phoenix.

There's nothing left to worry about, here. Maybe Edgeworth won't retire just yet.

#my writing #fanfic #writing #drabble #ace attorney #fanfiction #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #wrightworth #narumitsu #apollo justice spoilers #dual destinies spoilers #spirit of justice spoilers #I like my gay old men mwaaah #shipping

[golbrocklovely]

I'm confused, what exactly did Stas do?

i made a whole post about this a while ago, but i'll rehash it as quickly as i can here lol

some of this is hearsay and some of this is actual stuff that happened, just fyi.

stas, at one point or another between 2021-22, had been in gcs with fans talking about colby. i had an anon on here years ago claim that she admitted to a group of fans that she was in love with colby. idk how true that was, so i deleted that asks. but that was at the very beginning of her coming around in the fandom. i've also had ppl claim that she was talking about snc/colby way back in 2019, which was the first time she came around but only briefly.

so you have the gcs, liking ship edits, posting content of her and colby behind a paywall (bc she knew ppl would sign up for it if there was extra content of him and her), answering questions about colby when fans would asks questions about him, ect. that was some of the initial stuff she did.

what became a problem was, especially in 2022 when the core four was a thing, she actively made it more and more apparent that she and colby were "a thing". problem is, he wasn't dating her. he was literally hooking up and hanging out with someone else for the past year and half, someone i've dubbed on here six flags girl. hell, there was even another girl in the mix, pumpkin girl. but she was only here for like a week or so.

he had been on and off with six flags girl throughout 21-22. he literally took SFG on a date WITH sam, kat, abbey, and stas. but stas was doing her damnest to make it seem as if her and him were having something going on. when they all went to europe, she posted a vid from his room, essentially making it seem like him and her were sharing a room (when they weren't bc her shit wasn't even in the room). and also, and this is something alleged that idk if it actually happened but it seems possible, that she was sharing where they were all going to fans on her subscription service which is why certain fans were able to find them easily while in europe. on top of that, her mom was also sharing stuff to fans on facebook (and insta i think) so fans were also able to use the pics she was posting to find them. and all of this is a huge safety risk, which is why i hold it as a main issue i had with her at one point.

the catalyst to what i think caused a rift between stas and colby to occur was malishkagate lol

during tomorrowland, a festival they were all at, colby posted a video of stas dancing and at the bottom it said "malishka" which means baby or babygirl in russian. thing to note about stas is she speaks russian. however, colby doesn't. so it's very obvious that she wrote out malishka on his snap and posted it. and when that got posted (on top of a pic that was on his insta story of her face zoomed in which clearly was taken by her) all of sudden a bunch of fans believed that they were now dating. mind you, they all have terrible cell service at tomorrowland, so most likely colby didn't even see how fans were reacting to anything until basically the next day.

and fans were LOSING IT on twitter. i'm talking ppl were congratulating them on "finally" admitting to dating. stas even liked tweets talking about the malishka thing. some fans were claiming that they "knew all along that they were dating and it was nice to finally see them admit it". and a good chunk of these fans were fans OF stas/were close to her.

mind you… none of that happened. colby never came out and said they were dating, but stas made it seem like that's what was happening, just in her own vague way. and also none of the fans that congratulated them ever took back what they said when it became extremely apparent that they weren't dating.

the almost last time colby and stas hung out was right before snc and kat moved to vegas and had just gotten back from europe. stas posted on her subscription service that she was getting ready for a date, and then later that night posted something with colby, or he posted something with her. however, they didn't go on a date. there was a whole big group of them that hung out (without kat and sam) so clearly… she lied, again, trying to make it seem like her and colby had something going on.

after that, it seemed like everyone kept their distance from stas. kat ignored questions about her, colby started removing comments about her (and shea) from his tiktoks, and stas started tweeting out vague things and saying she felt abandoned and also started up her poetry insta where she wrote about (most likely) colby. she hung out with colby and all of his friends on new years of 2022, and then a couple days later when it was their bday, since her and colby have the same bday, he went and hung out with shea while everyone else celebrated with stas. so….. clearly things were still muddy even then.

things seem fine now. they all seemed to be on good terms with one another. but yeah… she pushed too hard to make it seem like her and colby were dating or had something going on. my thing is, is it possible that something happened between them? sure. but it was also very obvious that whatever it was never got off the ground like she made it seem like it was. so it annoys me to this day how many of her fans and just fans in general take her side just bc she's the one that had feelings for him. he would have been an asshole to reciprocate feelings he didn't have. idk why ppl can't understand that lol

#ask #personal #tc4 #cb ll

[bisexualshakespeare]

fic writer asks

I saw these questions by @ficwip and decided to just answer all of them rather than waiting to be asked

30 questions below the cut!

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again? Uhh I wrote a lot of smut? 😅 oh I have a fic that is just a sex scene? it was part of a series so the lead in was technically there and also I was about to start my period and was very horny. I loooove a long lead in to the sex. Lightning Strike, and kind of Nymph Butter too, has like a couple horny paragraphs and then sex. I don't know if I would do it again but it wasn't really planned? so I guess we'll see what happens!

How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!) it looks like 25??? wild

What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer? I think I have a better grasp of how I intuitively write and I learned that it's NOT a thing I need to train myself out of. It's okay if I write non chronologically or in dialogue only for the first draft, because following the way my brain works will lead me into the most energetic path and I can circle back and add description or transitions later. I think I'm better at description than I think I am but it just doesn't come as quickly.

What piece of media inspired you the most? I mean I published 5 Willow fics in less than two months and started several more so I feel like I have to say Willow!

What fandom(s) did you write for this year? Willow, Ted Lasso, Haven, a couple other one off fandom filks

What ship(s) captured your heart? Airk/Elora/Graydon I am such a sucker for ot3s

What character(s) captured your heart? THRAXUS BOORMAN MY LOVE

Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year? Yeah I watched Willow in i think April and enjoyed nothing else as much

What fic meant the most to you to write? Finishing Multivocal was soooooo wow. Like it is The longest thing I've ever finished and it really brought writing back into my daily life as something to look forward too rather than something to feel guilty for not doing? I wrote it for like three years. This year I made some edits and added some scenes that made me feel really good about taking my time. I really wrote the fic I wanted to see (except i mean i would've preferred them to fuck but other than that lol)

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? Eckleberry Pie was so fun. It was really stream of consciousness. I just had no worries about what other people would think cause I literally was like no one is gonna read this but @lowkeyed1 so I can do whatever stupid shit I want 😂

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? I think Apple Candy. I didn't realize how it was going to end until I got there. I kinda sped through the end of the chapter cause it was already going up after the October collection was closed and I wanted to get it done, so I was just kinda awkwardly figuring out what we were gonna leave on and then I wrote that Graydon was loved and I was like 'oh. yeah. that's what this was about!'

What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it? All of them were difficult. If we're including fics I didn't finish then probably every ted lasso fic I tried to write and couldn't. I was planning on writing a series from Jamie's perspective, I tried to write a fantasy AU, I tried to write PWP, just so much did not work and then I left the fandom.

What fic was the easiest to write? I think I wrote Lightning Strike in like an hour lol

What were your shortest and longest fics this year? If we're ignoring filks and Multivocal, which started posting last year, then the shortest would be Bridges at 670 words and the longest would be my as yet unposted Cyrano AU at 21K.

Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023 I mean I have to go with Eckleberry Pie and the rest of the Harvest Festival series right?! Or if you don't want a bunch of smut then In The Middle is a filk about yelling at creators, so that's a mood

What were your go-to writing songs? I got really into these "immersive writing session" videos where someone buys the rights to a bunch of instrumental music and puts it together to fit a vibe. I listened a lot to traveling through a medieval fantasy world but it gets darker the longer you write What were your go-to writing snacks? tiny bottles of wine cocktails from the grocery store

What was the hardest fic to title? I guess Lightning Strike? I almost always name fics after phrases I use in the fic and in the Harvest Fest series I wanted them to be named after food cause I knew the last one was going to be called Apple Candy, but Lightning Strike didn't have any time for food cause it was just fuckin so I had to find something that felt like it fit but was different. It was a change in perspective, Elora instead of Graydon, so once I decided I wasn't mad about the title not fitting the theme.

Share your favorite opening line Okay I actually wanna use a filk for this cause I love the first verse of What You Believe: How on earth could I be calm When inside my chest's a ticking bomb? The nicest guys can be deceiving Lift you up, then leave you bleeding It's a goddamn tragedy like Misérables

Share your favorite ending line As the moon rose on the final day of the Harvest Festival, Graydon knew, with the utmost certainty, he was loved.

Share your favorite piece of dialogue From Apple Candy:

“So what am I gonna do while you and Airk are together? Sit in my room twiddling my thumbs?” She scoffed and dropped her hands from his shoulders. “I kinda thought you would do things that I don’t like, like studying your languages or practicing the flute.” “Yeah or sleeping with Boorman.” Elora groaned and rolled her eyes. It was kinda cute though. Knowing she was in love with him made it better. He ran a thumb over her hip. “Hey so, Airk left us your bedroom for a few hours. What do you think he’s doing, knowing what we’re supposed to be doing?” Elora’s eyes narrowed. “He better be twiddling his damn thumbs.”

Share an excerpt from your favorite scene From Multivocal, a scene between Duke and Audrey I added right before posting and was much needed:

“I think it could work." She pressed. "The three of us.” “Oh you’re not even gonna ask me? I could have other offers. I’m a very well liked guy.” “As I can see by the gigantic mess all your friends left.” “Hey I don’t mind a mess,” he held her eyes, “as long as I’m not the only one trying to clean up.” She stepped closer. “You’re not.” Audrey put a hand on his chest. She had almost done the same thing several months ago, when she thought the only option was giving him his family trouble again. But then she’d wrapped her hand around his neck instead and pulled him in for their first kiss since Colorado.

Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

this is so hard. I feel like I forget what I used to struggle with cause I'm so focus on what i'm currently struggling with 😅

I had a really hard time writing Nymph Butter because it was this mix of humor and smut and sincerity and I wanted to have like real moments of connection between Graydon and Elora without it being so serious that it killed the sexy mood. The whole fic was a big balancing act there.

“Can you stop talking about Airk? He has nothing to do with us.” “Of course he does!” She shouted, hitting the ground in frustration. “I thought I loved him, but what if I was just using him to get over you? Like you're using Boorman to get over me.” “First of all, Boorman likes being used. Don't you, pal?” Boorman’s moan came from behind him, along with the sound of his hand sliding with help from the nymph butter.

I'm pretty happy with how it came out. I was very meh when I first posted it, but on a reread I think it holds up. Since my new main ship is an ot3 I'm sure I'll have many more chances to work on this mixture of sex and relationship negotiation.

What’s something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

I think I was surprised in Apple Candy that Boorman got a little jealous of Graydon and Elora. Boorman was always supportive of them but when I was writing the morning after, I started thinking in Boorman's voice and I felt that little twinge of sensitivity that he has and how he runs away from his emotions and I was like hmm okay I'll follow that. The overall story was the same but I think it added a little weight to the Graydon/Elora relationship negotiation that came after.

What did you use to write? (e.g. writing programs, paper & pen, etc.) a combination of GDrive, LibreOffice, OneNote, and a physical notebook.

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? Probably in August when I first started writing Cryano AU. I hadn't written anything the whole month and then in the last week and a half I wrote like 5k

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

No but I should! I need to think of a good finished project ritual. I think I usually just text a friend and sigh and watch youtube videos and wait to get a comment.

How did you recharge between fics?

I...don't? Should I have a recharge ritual too?

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

🥺 I would like to thank my IRL friend Lee for beta-ing Multivocal for me. I would like to thank lowkeyed for leading the way in the scary world of rare pairs. Thanks to everyone on the Revolorilution server for encouraging my ideas. Everyone at Voiceteam for encouraging my filks, especially klb! And of course I thank everyone who commented and gave a kudos on my fics! I love you all so much! It's been a great year of writing! Thank you 😭

What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

I want to write all of the willow season 2 fic ideas. I am manifesting an announcement of the show coming back and I want to make sure I get all my thoughts out before that happens. I'm definitely excited about the possibility and would like to have trust in the writers, BUT I put off all my ted lasso ideas until season 3 and now they're all dead to me so gotta grab my joy while I can!

#ask game #kinda