#i'm hoping people understand it was hurtful for my ego to admit this

[hyperactivewhore]

I see this question going around and I can’t help but wonder who would win in a fight - the twilight vampires or the tvd vampires. As much as I hate to admit it, I have to give it to the twilight vampires, but what do you think?

People really don't realize how ridiculously overpowered vampires of Twilight are.

It's not a secret most people see Twilight, and their vampires, as a joke: they sparkle, and that's definitely not scary. But they're basically indestructible, and tvdu vampires can be killed with a wood pencil, there's no chance a tvdu vampire is taking down any twilight vampire. Not even Hope, Klaus or any other Original for that matter.

Essentially;

Tvdu vampires:

Can be weakened by vervain

Can be weakened by wood

Can die in the sun

Can die in the sun if you take their daylight ring away

Can have their bones broken easily

Can be staked

Can have their heart removed

Susceptible to witchcraft

Especial poison can either dessicate or incapacite them

Twilight vampires:

Almost all weakness of tvdu vampires don't apply to twilight vampires

Obviously bad written, but still stronger

Tvdu vampires can bleed, be stabbed, die in human ways but still come back to life but they're down if there's wood in the equation, while Twilight vampires literally need to be ripped apart first, be incapacitated and then be set on fire so they're definitely dead. And even then, the pieces of their bodies can literally reconnect if they're close enough, if I'm correct, or they can also lick the wombs to stick it together again.

Twilight vampires are practically rocks, harder than diamonds, their skin is impossible to penetrate so stabbing is impossible, and getting their hearts ripped out won't kill them anyway. Canonically, the only thing that can harm a Twilight vampire is a vampire themself or werewolf teeth. They also cannot be compelled, due to how their brains work, and magic isn't really gonna harm them, being deprived of blood just turns their eyes black while tvdu vampires get considerably slower and practically dry out.

The Originals were getting their ass beaten by witches and vampires almost every season, and an eighteen years old actually managed to kill one of them, so unless Twilight vampires don't have a white oak stake I'm pretty sure they would end up in a standstill.

There's Jane too, who died burnt and her gift is making people feel her pain as she died, basically being burned alive, so perhaps she can kill a tvdu vampire with her mind alone due to this. Alec can practically take away people's senses so in my opinion, they're both cleaning the tvdu verse without moving a finger.

Perhaps Hope is the only one that stands a chance, but only taking into account her witch abilities, as her vampire and werewolf side are significantly weaker than the Twilight contraverse.

I'm really not trying to start a debate here. I loved Twilight as a child, and I adore tvdu a lot more, but once again, every single supernatural creature in Twilight is ridiculously overpowered.

#i'm hoping people understand it was hurtful for my ego to admit this #i'll always like tvdu vampires more as they're more “realistic” #twilight vampires are basically gods #twilight renaissance #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #bella cullen #bella swan #edward cullen #alice cullen #rosalie hale #rosalie cullen #jasper hale #jasper cullen #esme cullen #carlisle cullen #jane volturi #alec volturi #alec and jane volturi #klaus mikaelson #hope mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #kol mikaelson #elena gilbert #the vampire diaries #the originals #tvd #to

[utytimeline]

I might make some people mad, but I'm gonna say it, anyway.

So, Ceroba's reason for choosing Chujin over Star was because she wanted someone more mature. At least, that's my understanding. Star was playing cowboy and role-playing with his friends while she wanted to settle down and raise a family.

And... yeah, Star had a lot of growing up to do. And he did almost none of it until Ceroba stopped him from shooting us.

Star's main character flaw is his ego, but it's even worse than just an ego. Half the reason he set up the Wild East was to help everyone else. He wanted to bring in money to help his family when the Swelterstone's effects caused a drought; he wanted monsters to get a taste of what the surface is like so they don't drown in despair; and he wanted to make Ceroba happy after she lost both her husband and her child. All of this on top of feeling like he was a "nobody farmer" that couldn't do anything or help anyone.

So Star's primary character flaw isn't as simple as just having a big ego. His primary character flaw is trying to fix others as a way of fixing himself.

Sometimes this is a good thing, tho. I often think of Star as the "papa" of the Feisty Five. He's the protective one, he's the one teaching them ethics (reminding Mooch that they're not supposed to be bandits, playing dead to teach Clover about the responsibility of potentially hurting someone), he takes care of the town, he's made ALL his own money from this town that he built himself (enough that Mooch wants his inheritance, so it's a sizeable amount), he even gave his posse a designated nap time, gave Ceroba a home (and possibly gave her his bed while he crashes on the couch), sews his own clothes, set up all the rules and regulations... and I could go on, but I think I've made my point. Star is not wholly irresponsible. He's not perfectly responsible- he, and the rest of the posse, have a habit of breaking and losing Blackjack's weapons, they're all loud and rowdy, and they have a tendency to forget to turn off their boulder machines out in the Dunes.

So, yeah, Star does still have some growing up to do. But he's got a good start.

As for... everything that went wrong... That was entirely due to Star's worship of humanity. Star fell in love with westerns and with the justice and overall sense of romance that they portrayed, so much so that he not only tried to make himself into one of his western heroes, but he then extended this worship to the first human to ever set foot in the Dunes- namely, Clover. And because of this, Star completely threw everything that was good about himself out the window. He sees a human an immediately decides "this is my deputy," without even really giving Clover a fair chance to see if they even are deputy material. He forgot the safety glasses, got so worked up he forgot how to pronounce "duel," became extremely temperamental, apparently forgot that Vengeful Virgil was scheduled for the train mission that day, locked up a Royal Guard against her will (arguably committing treason in doing so, I might add), and just generally began running over everyone's words and emotions, including Ceroba's.

So when it came down to the Showdown... Star blamed Clover. Star's not an idiot. He knows good and well it's not Clover's fault. It's Star's fault- or more precisely, it's his worship of humanity that is to blame. But the problem is, he's taken it upon himself to guard the feelings of other monsters, to make them feel hope and joy. And he just screwed up and stole all that from them. So he's conflicted, not willing to admit that he has done the exact opposite of everything he set out to do. And since it's his worship of humans that led him to this point, he decides to blame the human.

Hence, the Showdown.

But he doesn't want to do it. He says himself, "Monsterkind's Hero is a title soaked in blood." He loves humans. And he sees Clover as a friend. He doesn't want to kill them. He's not a killer, and he doesn't want to be one. He doesn't believe in it. Justice is one thing, but... how is it just to kill someone that did nothing wrong?

So. Here's where Ceroba comes in. Telling Star he needs to calm down and go back to who he used to be. And Star points out that she's changed, too. Even Ceroba says, before taking Clover to the Steamworks, that she doesn't know if she has room to tell Star to go back to the Starlo she used to know.

Ceroba, tho, is no different than Star (this is the part that I said might make some people mad). Ceroba worships Chujin just as much as Star worships humans.

Ok, look. Chujin was a great craftsman. He built so much- furniture for Dalv, his and Ceroba's house, the space heater at the Honeydew Resort, many other items in use throughout the Underground, Kanako's toys (even programmed a video game for her), and so much more. So much that even Star respects him for all that he did for everyone.

However, there is also much that indicates that Chujin wasn't the best at his job. His only award is "You Tried at Engineering," and it took 14 tries for him to build a working robot. In Chujin's defense, I will say that it is impressive that he did build a working, sentient robot without the use of a SOUL, which is how Alphys made both Mettaton and Mew Mew; however, if Chujin is really such a genius, why did it take 14 tries to get Axis to work, when it apparently only took 1 try for Guardener?

And then Chujin didn't just stop with robotics, but went on to SOUL research. Two completely different fields. (And before anyone starts commenting on Alphys, I just want to point out, yet again, that both of the robots she built did use SOUL power; so, realistically, Alphys never was a great robotics genius, but rather, everything she did was a part of SOUL research- hence, the reason Asgore hired her as the Royal Scientist). But Chujin decided to press on with his SOUL research, despite there being no indication anywhere that he had ever done any such research before.

Now, I'm not trying to say that Chujin wasn't remarkable or a genius. I'm just pointing out some things that indicate that maybe he wasn't quite the genius that Ceroba wanted to make him out to be. And... Ceroba's reaction to his "You Tried" award. She's proud of him. More pride than what is warranted by such an award.

Ceroba said she met Chujin when he pretty much rescued her after she twisted her ankle, fell into a ditch, and laid there for several hours, unable to move. She also said that she had considered dating Starlo before meeting Chujin. So... hate me for this if you want to, but I feel like she may not have the best judgement when it comes to guys. Now, that's not to say she picked losers or creeps. Both Chujin and Starlo were/are sweethearts that care deeply about everyone around them. But the fact remains that Ceroba left behind the guy that she'd known all her life for a guy she just met, just because he rescued her from a bad situation.

And I'm not even saying she made a bad choice! By all accounts- including Ceroba's, Martlet's, and even Starlo's- Chujin was a good, kind-hearted, hard-working monster, and a wonderful husband and father. But... he wasn't perfect. And I think Ceroba, even though they had to have been married at least 10 years, just always had stars in her eyes where he was concerned. He was her everything. She believed he could do no wrong. She believed it so strongly, she was willing to do... many horrible things.

Ceroba's drive to kill Clover started with her love for Chujin. She wanted to do anything to keep him alive in her own heart. And when their child begged and pleaded for a chance to help, Ceroba agreed, because Kanako woshipped her father, too. Ceroba's misguided belief in her husband guided her to do things she would never have done otherwise.

Thus the reason for her guilt. It's not just guilt over killing her own child. It's also guilt over knowing that it was her own misguided worship of a monster that wasn't as perfect as she thought he was, that this was what led her to kill, and to kill again.

Ceroba worshipped Chujin. Just as Starlo worshipped the ground Clover walked on, Ceroba worshipped the ground Chujin walked on.

So when people point to Ceroba's comment that Starlo didn't grow up... yeah. She's right. Starlo needed to grow up.

But so did Ceroba.

One of the hardest parts of growing up is realizing that the people you worship are just people. They make mistakes, and you, yourself, are mistaken for believing they can do no wrong.

So, anyway. There's as much Staroba (Starfox, I call them) hatred as there is love for the ship. I've seen both sides of the argument: Starlo isn't mature enough; Ceroba is insane. Yeah. You're both right. And that's why they're perfect for each other. They both made the mistake of changing everything they were in an effort to continue worshipping their idols. They both went nuts. They were both driven to kill. This is the inherent danger of idolatry, believing so much in something that isn't real, that you will do anything to make it stay real to you.

#undertale yellow #starlo #ceroba #clover #my analysis #character analysis #starfox uty #chujin ketsukane #kanako ketsukane

[simphornies]

Angst! I choose you! (That was cringe I'm sorry 😭)

Can I please request a Vox x Female Reader where Reader protected Vox from Valentino

(PS: Val killed Reader in the process)

And because of that Velvette has to take care of a Depressed Vox

A/N: My friend and I were going back and forth on ideas for this because we love angst. I hope you guys enjoy! A part 2 will be made for this because I love you guys

Word count: 1.6k (1,611) Warnings: ANGST, valentino being a FUCKER, descriptions of violence, death, there is no mention of y/n but it's f!reader

My Beloved [ Vox x F!Reader ]

Vox got into another argument with Valentino. Both overlords had anger issues so their arguments always end up becoming explosive with glassware being thrown around. You came in as soon as you got word of their fight. When you ran into his office, it was clear that it was about you again. Valentino shoved you out of his way, glaring at you, seething with anger. He slammed the door shut but you couldn’t care any less. You ran to your lover’s side and held his hand.

“Vox? What happened?” You frowned, seeing all the broken glass. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“It’s…” He hesitated and planted a gentle kiss on your hand, “It’s nothing, baby. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll always worry, my beloved.” You held his hand close, “Is it about the shoot again?” He sighed and nodded.

“He came in here demanding I convince you to be in one of his movies. I told him no and well,” He gestured to the shattered glass that littered his office, “You see how well that fucking turned out. Fucking moth just won’t stop. I told him that there’s nothing he could ever offer for your body! He ju-” You gently tighten your grip on his hand, cutting him off. He looked at you and the worry in your eyes melted his anger away. “I’m sorry, baby. It just makes me so angry when fuckers like him think they have any right to a sweetheart like you.”

“I’m sorry I’m causing this much stress.” You said softly, “I’ll talk to him if you need me to!”

“No!” He said as his screen got brighter with his increased panic, “No, babe. It’s fine. I got it handled. I promise, okay?”

You knelt next to him, your head on his lap, “Okay. But if anything happens, I’ll always be here for you, my beloved.”

He smiled, gently caressing your head, “Of all the souls in Hell, I know that the most, my dear.”

Your relationship with Vox seemed to come out of nowhere to those that didn’t know the past he shared with you. Velvette was the first to learn about his life with you before he died. He confided in her. At first she just wanted tea on his life before Hell but it ended up with her showing genuine interest. He had been pining for you even after his death. He wanted so desperately to confess how much he loved you. You never left his mind in his final hours and when he found himself in Hell, his heart broke. He feared that he would never meet you again. This fear pushed him into trying to get into relationships with people that had the smallest of reminders of you. You were an angel to him, the gentlest soul he’d ever met. He was sure that you would go to Heaven but when he saw you aimlessly roaming the streets of Hell, he rushed to meet you. You didn’t recognize him at first glance but the moment you heard his voice, everything fell into place. He, honestly, didn’t understand how you ended up in Hell. You had to remind him that you ran his “business” with him. His love for you blinded him from your heinous crimes, almost erasing it from his memory just out of adoration for you. He got such a massive ego boost when he learned you went on a bit of a rampage after his death that led to your execution.

It wasn’t long after your arrival that the two of you entered a honeymoon phase, constantly out on dates and always being at each other’s sides. After months of flirting, teasing and a multitude of dates, Vox finally asked you out. He was bad at romance more than he’d like to admit. Without Velvette’s help, he was definitely going to change his mind. The way he asked you out made you think he was going to propose. He had petals scattered on the floor and held the sweetest flowers he could buy in Hell. He was a nervous wreck waiting for you to arrive at the location he sent. The sight of him standing disheveled in front of a giant “Will you be mine?” neon sign made you burst out into laughter. But you said yes nonetheless.

Days passed after the argument. You were walking up to Vox’s office and as you got close you heard yelling. It was Valentino starting another fight. You started to run as soon as you heard glass breaking. When you reach the doorway you see Valentino aim a glass cup at Vox.

You grabbed his arm to stop him and raised your voice. “Stop! Valentino, that's enough!”

Valentino got angrier at your attempt to stop him and he pushed you off of him, knocking you down to the ground. “Don’t fucking touch me, bitch. You’re lower than me, don’t forget that.” He hissed. Vox ran to your side and helped you up.

You scowled at him as you held your head high, “I don’t give a single shit who you are. You’re a little bitch baby that can’t take no for an answer.” You spat back.

“What the fuck did you call me?!” He yelled and began to step closer to you. Vox blocked him from getting any closer.

“Val. Fuck off. I said no and my decision isn’t going to change.”

You saw Valentino raise his hand to hit Vox. Without thinking, you pulled Vox out of the way. You barely dodged his swing, his claw scratching your cheek deep enough for it to draw blood. You growled at him and slapped him across the face. It shocked all three of you. Your confidence faded once Valentino opened his wings, his face shrouded in rage.

In the blink of an eye, he had you by the throat. You instinctively held onto his hands, trying to pry his tightening grip on your neck. His hold alone left bruises on your neck. Before Vox could reach him, Valentino flew through Vox’s balcony. He used your head to break through the glass door, making you scream from fear.

“Valentino! What are you doing?!” Vox yelled, running after him.

“Aw, what?” He teased, “You’re telling me you really give a fuck about this bitch?” He laughed, menacingly. You struggled against him and managed to get a glimpse of how high up you were. “You loved me too, remember? Before her.”

“Put her down, Valentino!” He screamed, glitching from both fear and anger. His pleas received laughter.

“You’re turning out so pathetic and soft, Vox.” He grins, blood dripping from the side of his mouth. “I’ll put her down, just for you~”

Your eyes widened at his tone and knew exactly what was coming. You looked at Vox with tears in your eyes. The fear in his eyes broke your heart. His hand reached out towards you as if he could reach you. THe only thing you could do was smile at him. He couldn’t get himself to smile back, he could only stare at you. This exchange only fueled Valentino’s rage.

“V-Vox.” You croaked out, your voice hoarse from Valentino’s grasp. “I love y-”

Before you could continue, you were suddenly pummeling towards the concrete below you.

“No!” Vox screamed at the top of his lungs.

You heard his cry for you. You heard Valentino’s cackle. As you got closer to the ground, you relaxed your body and shut your eyes, accepting what was about to happen. And then you no longer heard anything. You didn’t hear the way Vox screamed and cried. You didn’t hear the hums of electricity that came before his power outages. You died from Valentino’s rage.

All power was cut off in Pentagram City. He heard your last words. He knew what you wanted to say. After the time you shared together, you had never told him “I love you.” because of your personal past. He didn’t need to hear you say it, you both knew how much you love each other. He didn’t know that you were finally ready to tell him you love him. He didn’t know he helped you get over your past. And he’ll never get to hear you say you love him. He’ll never hear your sweet voice again. He’ll never get to make up the time he lost with you. The only time he’ll be able to hold you again was to collect you from the ground.

His heart was shattered. It was obvious to everyone around him. Vox never left his security room. He locked himself in there and drank his pain away. He played the videos he had of you, looked at your photos and longed for your smile. He’ll never hear your songs, your jokes, your laugh or see your smile. He was alone again.

The only person that managed to get into his security room was Velvette. She did her best to comfort him and get him to clean up. Everytime she went in there, the entire room would reek of alcohol and grief. As cold as her heart was, the sight of him crying at your photos and videos broke her. She grew close to you when you first came. Her first impression of you was from Vox’s lovestruck stories and meeting you was a different ride. She understood why Vox loved you the way he did. She never spoke of it but she cried with Vox when you died. She was enraged. The only thing that stopped her from killing Valentino herself was the grief.

None of the Vees spoke to Valentino for months and that pissed him off.

Tag list: @froggybich @baizzhu @dickmastersworld @matrixbearer2024 

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #vox hazbin hotel #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vees #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel angst #hazbin hotel x reader angst #vox x reader angst

[arlestial]

hello hello! i'm really fan of your work and i'ld like to know if you could make rin boyfriend headcanons please? thanks in advance! :) bisous de france and don't forget to take care of yourself <3!!

❝He looks up grinning like a devil❞

synopsis : Rin Itoshi thought he wasn’t ready for love, ever. Until he met you. And now; his heart isn’t really his anymore.

pairing : Itoshi Rin x genderneutral!reader •— Blue Lock

tw : none, just some fluff, some suggestive mentions - (just some kisses) but nothing really developed nor important here (kind of enemies to lovers at first, tho)

word count : 1850~ words

author-note : it’s been 8 months guys, and I’m deeply sorry for this - clearly not intentional - hiatus ! I’ve been busy with my studies and my mental health but it’s all better now <3 I’m going to answer to the few requests I have in my ask box as soon as I can. It’s longer than what I excepted 😭.. Thanks for your request, hope you like it anyway. Gros bisous à toi, et passe une super bonne journée ! (N’oublie pas de te reposer surtout)💗 take care of yourself ♡

RIN ITOSHI was an actor. Always playing the rude, cold guy. The emotionless, indifferent man who was in fact a broken little boy inside. He was a huge liar. Constantly putting a facade between him and other people. Maybe it was a shield, not to be hurt again. Maybe it was a weapon, not to be approached again. He was lonely. And he knew it very well, deep inside of his slewed heart. But wasn't solitude better than suffering? So he sticked around his old mentra. He had other things to attend to, to think of.

RIN ITOSHI despised you. No- he hated you, with all his guts. You were so annoying; always talking to his teammates, laughing with them as you brought water bottles so they could drink. Could you just do your job without talking for once ? When Ego announced you were going to replace Anri for a few weeks, because she was severely ill, he swore he was going to jump out of the window. It could’ve been anyone else - but no, Ego chose you, you out of all the qualified, useful, and actually smart people out there who wanted the job. Why ? He wasn’t the type to complain, he couldn’t care less, but just seeing you on the field made him feel a boiling anger deep in his stomach, and you felt it the first time you laid your eyes upon him.

"You got a staring problem, perhaps ?", you asked, raising an eyebrow at his staring. He looked so fucking irritating, his cold and condescending gaze fixed on you. Your tone betrayed your harsh thoughts.

"No. Just wondering why you look so boring and annoying even though I’ve never talked to you.", he answered, with a mocking tone - still, his face remained neutral, judgmental even. You scoffed.

"The feeling’s mutual."

Since that day, you two argued with each other constantly. His teammates never seemed to understand why; and Rin was too busy thinking about what comebacks he could said to your petty insults to actually explain them why you were so.. frustrating. He couldn’t understand it either. But seeing your shocked face, your scoffs and your protests, your upset behavior tainted by a sharp words just brought something new in him, something he couldn’t explain with proper words. Joy maybe ? It was fun to tease you. And it was also easy, too.

RIN ITOSHI, in all honesty, took a liking in this little game. He wouldn’t admit it, though. So, when the day came when you stopped answering his bittersweet notes and decided to ignore him, he felt strange. Weird. Why ? Wasn’t it the whole point ? Bore you until you stop to annoy him ? Why was he missing your plain, insignificant comebacks ? Your rude attitude towards him ? And now he was jealous. Jealous to see that his fellow teammates had all your attention. He wanted your attention all to himself. Because what Rin Itoshi wants, Rin Itoshi gets. And there was no way you were going to ignore him longer. He couldn’t bear it.

RIN ITOSHI decided - by his own chef - that it was enough. You were surprised, to say the least, to see Rin in front of you, completely silent, looking at you dead in the eye. You frowned, taking a step back. (Definitely not scared because he was creepy)

"Okay… I don’t think that staring is your only problem, I guess.. Can you-"

"Can you shut up, for once ? I need you for something.", he cut you before you could even finish, and you rolled your eyes. So ignoring him didn’t solve the whole thing.

"So now, you need help ?", you added, amused, "I thought you were a big boy that didn’t need the help of a "unqualified, dumb, assistant","

"I’ve changed my mind. Do you want to be the one to blame if we lose the next game ?"

You weren’t paid enough for this job. So you just sighed, accepting your defeat and your fate. Without further discussion, he dragged you to the gym. And that’s when the whole, well, quite unusual tradition took place at first.

RIN ITOSHI apologized. For his rude behavior, for his sharp words, while he was training in the gym - as you were watching his progression, of course. Every day, you were at the same hour at this exact spot in the gym, talking to Rin as he was training his already sculpted body. He was still teasing you, but this deep boiling anger in his stomach became, day by day, more.. pleasant. Until the day Isagi walked in, interrupting your little chat, and winked at him, murmuring in his ear to "make a move". That’s when he connected the dots. He had feelings for you.

Confessing his feelings was hard. Especially since Anri came back. You were supposed to leave in a few days, and Rin couldn’t help but feel the sting in his heart. Was he going to see you again ? He couldn’t let you go just like that. Not after what you’ve did to him. So the last day, after you had greeted all his teammates, you walked out the door of the Blue Lock’s building, a sigh leaving your lips. He wasn’t there. How foolish to think that maybe, your feelings were reciprocated. You walked away, until something - no, someone, grabbed your wrist. It was Rin. You turned to face him, surprised. You opened your mouth to say something-

"I like you. A lot. Fuck- No. I love you. Don’t go just yet. Please."

And how could you refuse this confession ? (You can’t anyway.)

RIN ITOSHI and you started dating after that. He was a little stiff at the beginning; the man wasn’t used to be loved nor taken care of. So you taught him. Light touches here and there; Rin was a quiet, shy, yet attentive lover. He wasn’t too fond of PDA : first, he didn’t want to include you in paparazzi issues, and second, he wasn’t completely comfortable in public in general. He would put his hand on the small of your back in a crowded street to show you the way, lock your pinkies together all the time, probably press a kiss on your hairline; but that’s all he would do in public.

"This way, love. Careful, we don’t want you to get lost, do we ?"

RIN ITOSHI, in private, is a touch-starved, self-deprived boy who needs your whole attention and affection. Please, cuddle him. Let him be the little spoon, and he would absolutely melt. He’s putty in your hands as soon as you reach for him. Lay down on the couch, with him resting on your chest, your heartbeat lulling him to sleep as you fingers play gently with his hair, softly scratching his scalp just like he likes it. If you stop, he will wake-up in no time; glaring at you with a slight pout on his lips.

"I didn’t know I asked you to stop."

"My hand hurts, Rin."

"Bold of you to assume that I care."

"Please ? Just for 5 minutes.", he added in a whisper after some seconds, practically begging for your touch. His sudden change of attitude caused you to chuckle.

RIN ITOSHI absolutely dies for your kisses. He lives for them, okay ? Your plush lips pressed against his, with you sitting on his lap as his hands traveled to the back of your thighs, holding you in place. One arm around his neck, the other hand supporting yourself by grabbing his shoulder, he swears he could spent hours just making out with you. His tongue buried down your throat, bodies grinding and pressed against each other’s as you both let your eager lips devour your love.

RIN ITOSHI who kisses your insecurities away (literally). He knows exactly what it feels like to have insecurities and to be misunderstood about them, so don’t worry (he’s definitely an overthinker too.) You’re not going to be insecure on his watch. He would reassure you all the time, taking his precious time whispering sweet nothings in your ear, hyping you up. He wants you to be the most comfortable possible around him. Communication is the main key in your relationship. He took some time to finally let down his walls, so he intends you to do the same : without any pressure, of course. You can trust him, he can trust you. You both rely on each other’s back, and you can always count on him for anything. He’s not a man of many words, but for you, he would make an effort.

"Shh, darling. Come on, look at me, please,", he gently tilted your chin up for you to look at him, "dry those tears, my love. I’ve never met someone as strong, as beautiful and as courageous as you. If only you could see yourself with my eyes.. Don’t listen to them. They’re just jealous of you. Honestly, they should be jealous of me. After all, what did I do to deserve an angel like you ?"

RIN ITOSHI was an actor. Always playing the rude, cold guy. The emotionless, indifferent man who was in fact a broken little boy inside. He was a huge liar. And perhaps you could heal the broken inner-child that still suffer in silence today. But with certainty, with you, behind closed doors, maybe- maybe, for you, he could grow into a whole different person.

"I think that.. I think that I like the person I am when I’m with you. Does it make sense ? Yeah. You bring a side of me that I don’t want to let go. I think it’s a soulmate thing, don’t you think so ?"

#blue lock x reader #blue lock #blue lock rin #blue lock rin itoshi #bllk #bllk x reader #bllk rin #bllk rin itoshi #rin itoshi #rin #rin x yn #rin x y/n #rin itoshi x you #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock x gn reader #gn reader

[kyotosworld]

Nervous

pairing: steve rogers x reader

summary: steve helps you deal with a breakup. best friends to lovers. (fluff)

warnings: suggestive comments

word count: 767

"He didn’t deserve you."

"That’s sweet, and I know, but sadly, that doesn’t make it hurt any less."

Your ex of one month just broke up with you, and you’re heartbroken—well, kind of. You hadn’t dated for that long, and your feelings for him weren’t very strong, but the relationship was a good thing. Plus, it hurt your ego to get broken up with. After it happened and you had somewhat accepted it, you told Steve.

You and Steve have been the closest of friends ever since you met your freshman year. Steve got lost and asked you for directions to a place that was right across from where you guys were standing. You both laughed about it, talked more, and have been close ever since.

Now you’re here in Steve's dorm, sitting on his couch, after you told him the news.

"I’m really sorry, but I can’t stand seeing you this miserable. C’mon," Steve says as he grabs your hands and pulls you up to stand. "We’re going to practice what to do when you see him again."

"What? why?" You groan, annoyed that you had to get up from Steve's very comfortable couch.

"Cause it’s gonna happen," he says with a serious look on his face, "and you need to be prepared; I know how easily you fold."

You make a slightly offended face but know he’s right. You roll your eyes, "Fine, what are we practicing?"

"I’m going to pretend to be him, and you’re going to show me how you would react to him if he were to come up to you."

"Ok. I don’t see the point in this, but I’ll do it just for you." You smile sarcastically.

Steve chuckles. "Ok, ready?"

"Mhm," you nod.

His face quickly changes, and he starts doing his best impression of your ex, "Hey, how’s it been? I couldn’t sleep last night, couldn’t stop thinking about you."

Oh.

"I need to check you off my to-do list." Steve smirks.  

You know that he was only acting, but woah, maybe I do fold easily. Your ex never talked to you like that—well, he tried, but he wasn’t very good at it. Steve’s a natural.

"I shouldn’t have broken up with you, I miss you." He inches closer. "I want you," he says, all while maintaining eye contact with you.

You're flustered by his flirting with you and lost in the way he’s invading your space. You don’t say anything, and Steve looks disappointed.

"Oh, come on. We’ve barely started," he teases.

That brings you out of your not-so-friendly thoughts of him, and you shake your head, "Oh, right." 

"What’s wrong? Didn’t that douche talk to you like that all the time?"

"Yeah…he just-he wasn’t…very good at it," you say quietly while looking away in embarrassment.

"Are you saying I'm good at flirting?"

"No. Shut up," you slap him on the shoulder.

He laughs, "What is it then? How come you messed up so easily?"

"I won’t mess up when I actually see him, I was just…distracted." You ramble on without thinking, "You're the only one who has that effect on me anyway-" you stop yourself as you realize what you just said and clench your eyes shut.

Steve freezes, "What?"

"Nothing," you say quickly, hoping he didn't hear what you said despite knowing it’s unlikely.

"No, I don't think that was nothing." Steve says with a teasing look in his eye. 

You look everywhere but him.

He cocks his head in realization and smirks, "Oh.” He moves closer to you. “Do I make you nervous, sweetheart?"

You finally get the courage to look up and instantly regret it. He has a determined look in his eye, as if he won't be satisfied until you admit it to him. So you whisper, "Yes."

A few more seconds of searching one another’s eyes before he crashes his lips onto yours.

You finally understand the feeling people get when they kiss, when they know they have met the right person—a feeling you have never had before Steve. You have wanted this for so long, even when you didn't know it, and from the look of things, Steve has too.

You both pull away in need of air, breathing heavily. Then you laugh, "Are we still practicing?"

"I’m going to pretend you didn't say that and continue kissing you," he says before doing just that. You can feel his smile against your lips.

Well, you don't have to worry about me going back to him anymore." You giggle once you pull apart.

"Thank goodness," he laughs before diving back in.

#steve rogers #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x y/n #captain america #marvel #mcu #mcu x reader #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #avengers #fluff #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fanfiction #steve x reader #captain america x y/n #captain america imagine

[fizzyxcustard]

Personal Post (and apologies)

I'm going to post some personal feelings and thoughts here, so if you're not interested in that, then please skip.

First off, I want to apologise to anyone I've offended. Now, you might be wondering why I'm starting off with that statement of apology. The truth is that I've had a very bad couple of years mentally, and I'm not using this as an excuse for any bad/negative behaviour, but more for you to maybe understand my thought patterns. I know that I've come off as toxic to some people; I stand up and admit to that. I have. My behaviour has no doubt been hard to deal with, and because of this, I've lost friends. And it's mainly to those people I wish to apologise. Whether they'll actually see this post or not, I don't know, but I hope they will. And that goes for anyone else that I may have upset without realising. This post is calling myself out.

A lot of my negative behaviour has come from very destructive thought patterns, which revolve around never feeling good enough and not fitting in. I play the comparison game constantly, and to the point that I sometimes dread coming online to Tumblr. Because I know my mind will begin to churn and tell me that I'm not a good enough person, I'm not funny enough, talented enough...just not good enough in any way at all. And it's because of this that I've pushed people away from me because of the fear of rejection through my own comparisons to other people. These thoughts have even affected the way I see myself with my family, so it's not just online friends. It's in almost everything I do.

I wouldn't normally post anything this personal on Facebook, but on Tumblr I feel that my anonymity helps me to remain a bit more shadowed from criticism and harsh words. I can only think of a couple of people from Tumblr who I've met in person.

So this post is me apologising to anyone I've ever hurt, been cold with, been standoffish with, been snappy with. Again, I know that this isn't an excuse for negative behaviour and toxicity, but I'm trying to change my ways. Whenever I feel that wave of anxiety rip through me because the negative comments in my brain are becoming so loud, I now take a step back to recalibrate. I'm consciously giving my rational mind more room to step in and take control. I'll admit that it's fucking hard, but I am trying with every last ounce of my being to become a better person.

For a while I considered leaving Tumblr, but that would mean stepping away from doing the very thing I love, which is writing and sharing with you. But the need for external validation to feed my ego and turn down the deafening volume of the negative voice was getting too much. My rational mind has had to take the reins again and fight to be heard over all the commotion of self doubt. For some time I've even developed people-pleasing ways which has later led to resentment, and again, negative outbursts.

I know I need to work on this cripplingly low self-esteem, build myself up and also be completely authentic and not people please. Don't get me wrong, I do try and be as generous and kind as I can, but sometimes it's wound up compromising my own state of mind, and I must try and work on this, too.

This post is me being open, raw and vulnerable. All I can do is apologise again, and whatever comes of this post, I will accept gladly.

I hope I can usher in a time of more confidence, more happiness, and maybe more friendships which are unburdened by my negativity.

If you've made it this far, well done, and thanks for coming to my TedTalk. :) <3

#personal post #fizzyxcustard #personal insight #anxiety #negativity #negative mind sets

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

My breaking point...

//Hey, so...I hope you guys don't mind, but I need to vent for a bit.

//I'm here to announce that I need to take a break for a bit and...I'll explain why. Just a warning, I'm gonna be talking about some pretty heavy stuff.

//I don't really want to go into proper details, but these last few months since the start of the year have been...rough for me.

//I've been stuck in a horrible place and suffering from depression and unfortunate circumstances, even with the arrival of my new university year. I've been trying to make some changes and better my physical and mental health, so I can work my way through it.

//But it hasn't really worked. For some reason, every time I try and do something better, my life and mood just gets worse. And I will admit, some of it has derived from me doing stupid things and I'm the only one who can be held accountable for it. However, a lot of it also comes from other people both around me and online, who are making my life difficult for literally no other reason than what I can assume to be an innate desire to want to hurt me, with no rationality behind it. You guys have no doubt seen my complains about Tumblr's changes and how they've completely ruined my usual setup, and I still hate that I'M the one who has to change my way of doing things just to adapt to what are unquestionably stupid and terrible changes to what was once a perfectly good website.

//And even if it's completely unrelated to me, I just hear so much negative, and just horrible, terrible stuff going around that makes me question what the point is of even having a life to live. Take this past week leading up to today for example. If you've been following social media and the latest news, the situation with SSSniperWolf and JacksFilms and how YouTube are protecting her. Even today, I logged online to see what was happening, only to find out Wendee Lee (Miu and Akane's VA) is deciding to be a cunt and talent agencies fucking people over.

//Additionally, on AO3, I caught one of my followers being homophobic, saying they were desperate to not have any gay relationships in PToH. Because they post from a private account or whatever, I can't block them either.

//Inconsequential to me in the grand scheme of things, but the knowledge that other people are suffering at the hands of others is making me sad and prompting me to just reflect on whether there's a point or not in even trying to do what you love or make something of yourself if it only means someone else will hold it against you for the sake of their god damn ego.

//Because ultimately, people are horrible. They just are. To be honest, I'm still shocked that I have an understanding and kind audience on this platform like you guys, because I know a lot of you sympathize with me and have done in the past. And for that, I'm grateful.

//That being said, even though I would REALLY rather have avoided it, there's something I DO need to make perfectly clear, because it's happening again and I'm not in the mood to put up with it this time. I know I said I wouldn't go into detail, but I kind of need to here, even if I really rather wouldn't.

//If you follow me on other platforms of have seen my other work, you'll know that I have a sprite edit blog called @creepercraftsprites, and recently, I was requested by Mod Bubbles from A Student Out Of Time, to make some sprites for their blog. These sprites involved Kanata Inori from Another Despair Academy in a bunny girl outfit.

//A while back, I uploaded a series of sprites of every DR girl in a bunny girl outfit on Reddit; a series which included Chihiro, Hiyoko and Himiko, and sparked some heavy controversy on the subreddit. It gradually got worse, and eventually, I got permanently banned from the subreddit entirely.

//I still assert the moderators for the subreddit are ungrateful and favouritist cunts, but that aside, part of the reason why the situation got worse is because I was harassed, threatened and verbally abused by multiple people, and accused of pedophilia.

//And low and behold, I got some messages saying the EXACT same thing in light of the Kanata edits.

//I knew this would happen, but I still wanted to go through it anyway because I respect Mod Bubbles, and in no way am I saying this is THEIR fault. Of course it's not! I had every right to refuse making those edits, but I accepted. But I will not let myself be held accountable for statements that are just blatantly false, and I know even back then, the people who did this kind of harassment to me didn't actually care about the edits. They just wanted to hurt me.

//Case in point, they went out of their way to CREATE ALTERNATE ACCOUNTS after I blocked their mains, JUST TO KEEP HARASSING ME!

//And it's PATHETIC! It's just a sad state of existence and it makes me angry just thinking about it! That people do this!

//And do you know WHY they do this? Because the internet is the perfect place where you can say the worst thing imaginable to someone, or accuse them of something that is just completely and utterly ridiculous, ruining their reputation for no good reason, and face NO repercussions for it.

//Twitter, or X as it's now known, is the prime example for this. Almost EVERYTHING about that platform is horrible. It's a toxic platform full of toxic people, owned by a toxic manchild. But this is a problem that exists EVERYWHERE. Tumblr, Reddit, Facebook; if it's a social media, there's going to be someone who's going to take advantage of it with the intention of HURTING people.

//Whether it's because people can't think for themselves and have to be led by some influencer or whatever, because they can't take a joke, because they like seeing people suffer or because they misunderstand someone's intentions and refuse to let them explain themselves.

//If somebody offends you, or you don't like what someone's opinion states, then that's fine! Either ignore them, or block them! Blocking someone might be toxic, especially if they haven't gone out of their way to harm you, but at least it ends the problem right there and then! Why do people think that a perfectly reasonable solution to saying you don't like someone's work or statement, is telling them to kill themselves!?

//That's NOT funny! And you deserve some kind of punishment for saying that! Do you really think telling someone like me, or someone else who you think has screwed up, to kill themselves, or to die, is going to make YOU the BETTER PERSON!?

//It makes you WORSE by a SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT!

//People over react to everything nowadays; you cant even talk without pissing people off. GenZ and people on the internet are just really fucking immature, and I hate that it really does get to me. It shouldn't. But when people tell you you deserve to die just because you made one innocent piece of artwork of a character you like...

//...I won't lie, I considered it for a brief second, just if it means I can get away from the world that I share with these horrible, disgusting people.

//Before anybody asks, I AM seeking help for this. I just needed to rant a bit because this keeps happening, but I need to take a few days to just...readjust, focus on myself and my life, and what ACTUALLY matters right now, because frankly, I'm on the cusp of losing my fucking mind.

//I'm tired...I'm just...so...damn...TIRED...I'm fed up of ALL of this.

-Mod

#mod #vent #important notice

[msookyspooky]

I nearly threw my phone in excitement when I saw the newest Update to TT! I grinned like an idiot when I saw it 😂.

The entire conversation with Stu and it is so incredibly in character for him and Billy. How Billy storms out of the house (even though it's still raining???) and is injured but still keeps his back straight and marches out to save his own ego, smh.

And Stu, despite his clear issues with empathy, is incredibly observant and he knows and understand *why* y/n is upset; and he actively admits that he needs y/n in his own life as y/n needs him-but she doesn't need him or Billy as much as they need her. It's a strange thing this bond all three of them share, there is so much history between them-mostly bad, tbh-but it connects them in a way where they have to trust each other (actually kinda brings to mind the convo Lillard's character Tim in 'The Curve' has with his roommate).

And of course Stu is still Stu where he does tell the truth and isn't fully lying, but is warping it slightly to benefit himself ("He offered a hopeful smirk that wavered when he saw you wouldn't spare him a glance.")

And the fact that Stu actually says 'I'm sorry' is really huge for someone like him. And he lets himself be vulnerable when he talks about how he felt when he really thought y/n was dead. And great for y/n that she tells Stu what's what, but Stu is still surprised when y/n says not seeing him or Billy again is probably for the best. When the two of them talk about how the various GF murders and continuous legacy of GF has affected their lives and y/n thinking in a messed up way, it brought Randy, Dewey, and Gale into her life for better or for worse.

And Stu gave her his number just in case!😭🥺

CHERRI! Cherri is the goodest dog and the poor baby hurt her paw trying to get to y/n! And good for Cherri for coming to bark angrily at Stu, Cherri knows people. And is Stu feeling bad/hurt that Cherri doesn't trust him anymore? I mean, it's a good reason why the dog doesn't trust you, Stu. (I keep forgetting that there was a framed photo of a dog in Stu's house, I think in his parents' bedroom???).

Stu just talking with Cherri was a really light moment, a good break after the convo Stu and y/n had.

(I know Scream 4 takes place like, 10 years later, but I want Cherri to live forever.)

And then the conversation b/t Billy and y/n! And Billy of course being the one who's so aggressive and denying his feelings, and his default is aggression when he doesn't want to confront his own feelings. And y/n not falling for his usual bs and telling him what's what even when he doesn't want to hear it. Billy doubles down and telling y/n that if anyone is going to kill her that it’s going to be him, and Y/n is an absolute badass telling Billy that she has a plot ready for him in the backyard if he ever comes after her or her loved ones.

How drained y/n suddenly is that 20 min before all three of them were talking and now the two of them are gone. Stu leaves behind that note with the heart 😭. And the y/n is crying while holding Cherri and saying she hates them both, and there’s such a bond between all three of them because of everything that’s happened. 

Billy crying in the car and Stu being an asshole about it is so in-character I-😂. And blame each other when it's both their faults. 🙄 Stu trying to get Billy to admit that he cares about y/n and Billy defaults to aggression and his misogynistic ass being all, “She's nothing but a two faced, weak ass, nagging female that needs knocked down a few pegs."🙄

How Stu gets very upset at what Billy is saying (""Don’t say that shit about her man. Not right now. Not to me.”), and makes Billy confront his feelings and unsurprisingly it explodes when Billy does acknowledge how he feels, how the past 3 years have been, and how he felt zero purpose in life anymore when he thought y/n had been killed. How Stu is like ‘Finally!’ when Billy does admit it, and Stu was right because now they can finally both come to terms with things.

Stu threatening Billy that he'll kill him if he goes after y/n🥺.

And Billy and Stu somehow manage to still be dorks as they smack at each other’s *wounds* in the car, and they will eventually go their separate ways-but we know they’ll be back for Scream 4.

I SCREECHED when I got to Dewey’s part and he had photographic evidence!!! It is one hell of a cliffhanger and Dewey wants to be respectful of y’n’s personal life (especially after everything that happened) but at the end he keeps wondering what y/n is hiding from Randy and him. How that Dennis guy looks so much like Stu Macher, and he wonders who that other dark haired man was. 

I am looking forward to what you have planned for the fourth installment in the series! TT has been an excellent read and I honestly can’t believe that it’s finished! Thank you for writing it!😊

OMGOSH THANK YOU I LOVE LONG REVIEWS LIKE THIS!!!🥺😭💘💘💘

Yes to everything and I'm so so glad it felt in character!!! I know the slow burn is slow but I intended for them to be together in 3 but after everything; it feels like a deserve and ooc of them after everything that's happened while 10 years to sit and mull over everything between them and a new Ghostface threat + now Dewey having evidence that they're alive. Because let's face it; Stu is NOT going to let YN die and Billy isn't either (I hAvE tO kiLl yOU oNlY- Okay sir whatever helps u sleep at night 🙄🤚)

Cherri is alive she may be old af and just a scrungly, smelly, blind and deaf old lady but she will be our old lady one more installment at least 🥺

[mossible]

MOSSIBLEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

The newest chapter for broken snow globe was amazing!!!!!!!! It feels really refreshing to get to see octavio have some character development and finally being able to be honest with himself and the people around him. It's a great first step! Freeing those who want to leave the underground, and lowering his ego and admitting his past mistakes.

It's very strong and mature.

Once again I love the wasabi supply unit, they are very silly and clearly appreciate octavio a whole lot <3

And also so true, they are one of the last things in octavio's life that gives him balance. (Sad but true)

I AM BALLING IN MY SEAT

You don't Understand how excited I am to see splatoon 3 octavio in action.

I want to see him and Craig in the same room again even if it's just them insulting one another again. I'm really curious with how octavio's going to interact with Craig after admitting he's afraid of the inklings of the past but that inklings aren't so bad anymore.

I have a feeling there's gonna be SOME change.

I think I just miss the old men and I hope we get more character moments between them where they don't have to be screaming and shouting at each other because they hate themselves

All in all, another amazing chapter mossible!!!!!!

P. S-can we get a random hint on what happens in the next chapter in any shape or form

Thank you for reading mossible, good luck on the next chapter!!!

tysm!! im glad youve been enjoying the silly little grumpy old mans character arc! (better late than never is very applicable here LOL) like i mentioned briefly in the latest chapter's notes; yeah splat3 content is about to get covered! which obviously includes the scenes before and after the first boss! which. also obviously includes some very VERY relevant interactions for the fic! what i will say in that department, regarding your hunch; during octavio's speech at the end of part 2, he specified that his lies were driven by specifically his "Fear of [the] Inklings that hurt [them], during the Great Turf War." not by just simply inklings in general. what that means about the coming interactions, i'll leave up to your imagination :) again, though, thank you! both for ur kind words and sending in asks with your feedback and questions so often :D!!

i'll leave you off with this little bit about whats to come; the next new character y'all are about to meet is someone that youve heard about before! (albeit very briefly)

#cracked snowglobes

[dying-weeds]

i feel so wrong, for knowing, for feeling in my heart that im not the only one who did wrong. he also use me the way he wants, to feed his ego, and in the minute i crack, that im not what he wants, he lashes on me because "you mix your pills with booze". yes i do. at least i admit the shit i do. at least i try to fix it.

Hey anon, even though I don't know your exact situation and I'm not sure of the background of what is going on, just know that even though you make mistakes that doesn't make you a horrible person. Just because you make mistakes also doesn't mean that other people have the right to treat you poorly or hurt you in any way.

I have also used alcohol and pills in the past to cope with the abuse I was going through so I understand that it can sometimes make you mean or maybe you do something you can't exactly remember. Just know that two wrongs don't make a right and just because you are using substances to handle your pain does not give him a reason to treat you badly or hurt you. Nothing you do makes you deserving of abuse.

I hope this helps you feel better soon and if you ever need anything I am always here to help.

#anons #answered #tw abuse mention #tw alchohol mention

[hatingmyself101]

I am the single most mediocre person I have ever met in my life. For starters not only am I a mediocre friend, but all of my friends have mediocre relationships with me. Not that this is a negative reflection on my friends because they have awesome relationships with each other, it's completely on me. My best friend doesn't actually know me no matter how much she thinks she does. I don't even know if she is my best friend anymore, she has so many other people to choose from and she hangs out with other people a lot more than me. She calls other friends her soulmates and her 4lifers, she doesn't do that with me. Maybe we're not best friends anymore? I don't know, but if she's not my best friend then I'm pretty sure I have no one which fucking sucks. Secondly, my relationship with my parents is mediocre. I obviously love them, they're my parents, but they don't understand a single thing about me. I feel like the only person who actually knows me is me. There are times when I feel like I genuinely hate my parents and I find it hard to feel guilty about that because I know they're feeling the same thing even if they don't admit it. Thirdly, I am a mediocre volleyball player. This doesn't hurt as much as the other ones, it's just a little annoying that I spent over half of my life with a sport I'm just 'okay' at. There is literally nothing interesting about me. Not a single thing. The only mildly interesting thing I can think of is that I love to read, but who fucking cares about that? No one. Fourthly, I am a mediocre student. Sure the teachers like me and most of the other students do, but in the way that I like a kind restaurant waiter. I smile and speak to them nicely, but I wouldn't try and form an actually meaningful relationship with them. It's not fucking worth it. Fifthly, I have mediocre mental health issues. Yeah, I've got a touch of depression and a bucket full of anxiety, but again who doesn't have those? The one above mediocre thing I have going in that department is that I used to cut myself and have a couple of scars from that, but I don't really count that as anything because no one knows about it. Sometimes (scratch that)... ALL the time I think about how I'd much rather be under average than just average. Being average sucks. When you're average you tend to make friends with above-average people and then that makes you feel a whole lot better about your life right? Wrong. All my friends are beautiful and charismatic and interesting and they've had their first kiss… I'm seventeen and I've never even held hands with a guy in a romantic way. How fucking pathetic is that. I guess I am also above average in the sin department if we're gonna get religious. I'm a woman and have a mild porn addiction, nothing crazy, I could easily, probably stop. Plus I like to masturbate which I guess isn't normal for teen girls. I also have a crazy god complex, sometimes I think my mind is so deep and endless that no one is ever going to realize how intellectual I really am, but I also have a huge self-hatred/self-loathing thing going on, which is probably good for me so my ego doesn't go unchecked. However, the self-hatred thing has now given me body dysmorphia which is really shitty… but again that's normal so who actually cares? I'm not suicidal or anything, but I sometimes wonder how great I would be if I were dead. Not in the way that I'm a bother to people and they would like me better, but in a way that people would actually know me. Or at least think they know me. If I died today they would talk about what an amazing friend I was, which is completely wrong, my parents would say how lovely of a daughter I was to them, again wrong, They would talk about the hopeful future I would have, nope, and probably 13 more pages filled with things I was above-average at. I'm not gonna kill myself or anything it's just an interesting thought.

#prose #drabbles #poems on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled poetry #mediocre #tw self destruction #tw selfhate

[matchmakerecorner]

Hii can i request 🐇 twisted wonderland Matchup?

I'm female, she/her my horoscope is leo and my mbti is istp 5w4 548

I'm very laid back and prefer to go with the flow of life but sometimes come off as ego-centric and domineering. I have to admit I’m a lazy person who prefers having a leisure more than anything else. I mostly spends my time as a stoic and a calm person and i might even come off as apathetic towards the world around me [even tho I’m not]. I’m usually perceived as being insensitive because i generally prefer to deal with emotions in my own head rather than openly [and somehow I'm still well liked?!] tbh I often think I’m above others, yet I am always willing to acknowledge that I’m a total piece of shit [very rarely tho] Sometimes i have fantasies and ideals that I want to start creating or becoming but i myself a reality check and let the dream fade away. I’m very innovative but still choose the practical route a lot. It’s easy for me to create goals and envision the end results but it’s ridiculously hard for me to remain committed to the process. I have a very big ego but one word alone is enough to destroy it. I'm very playful and if I believe I'm right I'll passive agressivly fight you to prove my point [even if I'm wrong]. Like i said i have hard time committing to something i loose interest, motivation and get bored rather easily.

Likes: i like cats and snakes i would love to have one as a pet, horror genre, greek mythology, Japanese urban legends, analog horror, listening to true crime, listening to music, my favourite genre in music is indie and alternative rock, i love spicy food, i enjoy having deep conversations, philosophy, psychology, ancient Greek and roman history, i have love hate relationship with sea food especially cooked fish.

Dislikes: i dislike dogs [I don't hate them i just can't bring myself to love them], sweets, those soap operas my grandmother watches everyday, when people make chewing or drinking sounds, when people baby talk or when grown adults are acting like a literal child, those "protection squad" things, when people [besides my parents] tell me what i should and shouldn't do, "you should smile more :-D" ;-; no, quiet places [i can't sleep in quiet room], heat I'm naturally very warm and i swear easily so I can't stand heat, unnecessary physical contact especially during summer, i dislike winter and snow.

Hobbies: there really isn't anything I'm passionate about but i enjoy reading, listening to music, watching horror movies, watching analog horror videos, listening to true crime.

🐇 | I've decided to match you with...

☆ Jamil really appreciates your calm personality. It's such a breath of fresh air from when he has to deal with Kalim.

☆ He's also not too much of a physically affectionate person. The most he'll do is hold your hand in really large crowds so you don't accidentally get split up. And if you aren't comfortable with that, he doesn't mind just having your pinkies intertwined. Sometimes he'll give you a kiss here and there, but won't do it unless you're okay with it.

☆ His form of affection lies in acts of service. He'll make you your favorite meals, take care of you when you're sick/hurt, etc.

☆ He's not afraid to call you out if you say/do something wrong. Although he does love you, he's not going to baby you. He'll do nice things for you, give you encouragement, and hear you out if you ever need to rant/vent. He hopes that you'll call him out and encourage him as well.

☆ Jamil enjoys learning about different histories with you. He actually finds them very interesting. Sometimes he'll even get different books to binge. And then when you're done, you both can talk about what you read, kind of like a mini book club that doesn't happen regularly.

☆ He understands that you can't stand the heat, so whenever you both go on dates, he always goes to you. He won't make you walk around in the desert outside the Scarabia dorm. If you ever do end up going somewhere hot, he brings lots of water and/or your favorite drinks. He'll even bring you something to block the sun from your eyes, it doesn't matter what you need. He will prioritize your needs.

☆ He also enjoys reading. There are definitely times where the two of you will be sitting next to/across from each other in the library, just listening to music while you're doing your own things. With the occasional conversation here and there. Jamil really cherishes the time you both have together, whether you're talking or not. Just your company alone is enough for him.

The Other Choice(s):

Malleus: He won't give you any physical affection without your permission. But he also enjoys chatting with you about philosophy! Maybe if you allow him to/take an interest, he'll tell you all about the valley of thorns and the history behind it. He can talk about the different stories Lilia used to tell him as well. Anything that interests you, he will try his best to try it as well!

Jade: He would enjoy watching/reading about different crimes with you. Jade is also the type of person to do things for you, and he's a (semi) gentleman, so he won't go past your boundaries!

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

A/n: Hello! I really hope this was to your liking! If you there's something you don't like/don't like the matchups, please send me another ask and I'll try again. Thank you for requesting. Have a nice day! ^^

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

| Teleportation: The Map Room | Matchmaking |

#🐇; stell matchmaking! #twisted wonderland matchups

[inside-the-tardis]

Emotional trauma handling

This post is dedicated to 4 very special people, who have lived in my mind rent free for a few years now. These girls are beautiful, normal (not disassociative, not drug addicts, not detached & perhaps not even as toxic as me, lol ) I am, however, fullof those red flags (& others), and brings to mind an incident that happened over money with one of them. I know that I was legally & fundamentally in the right, however I did lose my cool (one time, with the perpetrator) and cut all ties with her. Over the next few months I distanced myself from them all, simply because I know these 'friends' wouldn't side with me, and I couldn't hope to share space with the perp, things were beyond that. Looking back at things now, there was a lot of space for mis-communication and thigs to go wrong. While I did stroke my ego, I realised I didn't need friends who wouldn't stand up for me when I needed them most. Maybe however, I think I could have a'acted-out' my wounded inner child's trauma. It cost me friends, it cost me peace of mind and it cost me a lot of energy in the years that have passed since. Also caused me mental and emotional anguish everytime I saw them together without me. Confused, hurt and upset I never understood why, because I wouldn't have been diplomatic if I was in their situation. While I do admit my fault, I don't think much is to be gained by blaming them for what I believe are their shortcomings. That will come for them sooner or later. What I do want to achieve with this post is: I don't want that incident, or similar incidents to repeat again. I want to be accountable for the things I say and do. I want to be more patient, expressive and firm in situations that follow. I want to be less moody, less whimsical and have more effective conversations about why I'm hurt and what I expect from people wo I believe are close to me. Those people don't exist for me anymore, and I wouldn't want to waste another single moment worrying about my or their actions towards me. I want to heal from the incident, learn from it, be accountable for who I am and also recognise who I can be if the situation rises again. I want to free myself from the mental anguish and feeeling of mental isolation that followed. Today, maybe they also don't speak to each other, or may not last as life-long friends, none of that is my concern. I can be mature enough to know that I over-stepped boundaries and was hurtful. Simultanesouly I can also agree that their inadequancy to deal with the situation caused our rift to grow wider. Understandable. I can also understand that most people would not go so far as to shift from their comfortable diplomatic spectator stand-point.

However, I can also now at this point in time, stand up with a broad chest and say that Yes, I wouldn't want such people or friends in my life either. I don't need the validation and I don't require the support. I need to, however, put in the work into healing myself. I remain thankful to them for revealing to me my emotional wounds. I will make a conscious effort towards walking away from anger. I apologise for the harsh words I said, and I regret the abrupt removal of friendship at the time. But flaky friends should be removed and better sooner rather than later. I wish to cultivate richer friendships in the future, which are more selfless, more invested and richer. Friendships where both parties can communicate, and freely express. Friendships where we don't shun or isolate people, where we can recognize emotional wounds. I grieve for the lack of true connection that I faced earlier. I hope better from myself & other people in the future connections that I cultivate. & lastly,

I don't want to blame myself or anyone else anymore, I only want to continue to heal my inner wounded child and do better.

[fainthedcherry]

Mental Health Awareness month is tomorrow. So have a post in my timezone for the 1st of may an hour ahead, so I won't have to post tomorrow.

It's crazy, how calmed my parents are now. It's as if they've never yelled or argued with me over not being able to get a job, now that I had been given the chance. Why weren't they just as patient as that before?? I doubt it would've hurt to have been kind to me whilst I was going through a mentally taxing time. Kinda annoyed with them, I admit. But I'm just glad they stopped mentally wearing me down. I really need my mental stability, if I wanna convince them to take me in. I've been preparing a script in my head for several days now, to hopefully ease the anxiety that is asking me why I want a job without answering, "I just don't wanna be home and earn money to get a car and driver's license man, no magic behind it." I honestly wish, that getting employed would be just as easy as the snap of a finger, as it is for me to draw. I have. So many useless talents I never use, it's kinda sad, almost, y'know? I'm a social wreck due to years worth of being put into a bad place with all the bullying I endured, and breaking that shell apart now, to try and become a capable and social being is just so much harder due to it. I'm really trying, but I still fail at keeping my cool once I'm home. I nearly break down each time I go outside. That mental pressure of people judging me, like I was for a literal century (I'm not even exaggerating), hasn't faded, only worsened.

I hope that the help I'm getting now, can reverse that. It's not like I hate talking to people. Once I start, I can't shut up until my own voice becomes rasp. I can literally talk for hours. To no end. It's just so much harder, when no one wants to listen, or whenever I close myself off for a while to do my best to keep my ego in check and try to stay a good person. It's hard to be nice, when I was worn down for so long by the world itself.

^Man all this angst-dump would make killer midwest lyrics though. Maybe I'll update you tomorrow with that. I can't play my guitar that well yet, but maybe, some day. I might just become a musician like Cavetown..Where people can seek refuge and relate and understand. I just honestly want people to feel safe near me. But it's hard due to all the trust-issue I had to endure from friends who've backstabbed me. Way too many have.

But yeah, I think I'll leave this pondering for now to the future tomorrow. I honestly wanna draw some venty art for this entire month? As I don't have 30 mermaids for Mermay, I only have like...3 mermaid characters, which for my standard of being obsessed with fairytale creatures, is a lot. lmao. I might continue doing this. Just. Being honest with people and like..I guess conversing to a mirror? No one but myself listening? Is kinda nice. I usually shut myself up immediately and can't cope at all due to it. Maybe if I re-learn to trust and appreciate a side of me, I've long pushed away, for the sake of presenting myself as a mentally-stable person online, just maybe, I'll feel much more true to myself. Currently I just feel like the worst person on earth, as I've gotten super needy, with the need to be recognized and acknowledged by the world. I want to be someone. But we all want to be someone, at the end of the day.

I'm not sure if tagging this is a good idea? But I honestly also wonder, if someone out there can seek comfort, in such texts, where just a person overthinks their life and ponders. Maybe I should make that the hashtag too, beside mental health awareness month. Maybe look out for some sketches in the coming may? Unless of course, I get busy, I always do and I know it, so I can't really commit to monthly challenges as I'd like to. But hey, chin up, for the fact that I always try, despite knowing I won't get to the finish-line. It's better than doing nothing and being nobody.

#ponderings #thinking #mental health awareness month 2023 #midnight thoughts #Not the Set It Off Song. Though that one rocks. I should listen to it when I'll draw again. Lol.

[sixthwater]

hi there. May I ask how would you interpret rising opposite sun/Venus? And um which timezone do you follow for like the astroblast

Hi! I operate on CST for all of my content.

I'm also kicking myself because I could've swore that I did something for rising opposing your sun but I cannot find it!!!!!!!

Anyway, with your rising opposing your sun, it's just really frustrating and you find balance over time. You slowly grow into your ego (sun), but as you grow into your ego, it clashes with 1. how you navigate the world and 2. how people perceive/describe you. One of my friends has this and they're described as a sweet person who wouldn't hurt a fly. They're just as combative and direct, if not more, than I am. The issue is that it's not exactly wrong when people who know you on a surface level describe you, because it is true to some level, but you get irritated because they're not seeing all of you. You will naturally play out both elements of your rising and your sun, but you don't really like to admit it until your later years, which is when those pieces of your chart learn to play nice with each other. It's kind of like your sun thinks it's better than your rising (since it's able to be activated), and your rising can sometimes go unnoticed until a good amount of people point it out to you, and you start to doubt yourself, and it builds a little bit of resentment towards that part of you, but you can learn to strengthen both of them into valuable assets.

Now Venus opposing your rising is a bit more of a hassle. Venus is what we find beautiful, how we like to treat ourselves, what we seek in partnerships, etc. You're then not agreeing with how you see the world and how you want to put your best foot forward, which can undermine you in relationships (platonic or romantic) at times, or just self-care in general. Say you have a practical earth rising opposing your open water venus. That rising is going to make you second guess yourself or be the voice in the back of your mind that keeps going 'yeah but should you???' 'wow you really thought that was a good idea lol'. But like...it's you so lol. It's a lesson to learn that you can have your cake and eat it too in reasonable means when you have this. You need to reign your rising in and make it understand that it doesn't have to go all out and have everything 100%, and your venus doesn't have to treat itself to everything, and maybe your rising is right sometimes when it's giving some harsh advice, but figuring out when is the key.

Oppositions balance each other out because they're strong in opposing areas. Aries has unrivaled independence and knows when to go at it alone, but Libra knows that you can't do everything alone and when to foster the relationships of those around them. They share traits but they butt heads over miniscule things. That's the key issue, and you just need to take apart what you keep struggling with, to build it back even stronger. I hope that made sense??

#God I hope that made sense jfkdsla;jfiaej #astroblast

[presidential-alert-system]

Just a personal situation rant to make me feel better:

I got invited to go to an event by one of my coworkers and I wasn't feeling great but agreed to go because I was happy to be invited. She started talking about carpooling to avoid us having to pay for parking, which was a good idea, but she wanted us to meet up at her place, which kind of didn't make sense because we all parked at work, but I agreed to it.

(I'm going to try and make this so the rest is under the cut.)

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Later I remembered that her complex has had multiple car break ins (even her car was broken into about 3 weeks ago) and her apartment was used as a standoff camp for cops during a shootout in the complex. I brought the break ins up to the other people going, and said that I wasn't really comfortable leaving my car over there (they all went "oh yeaaah...") and if we could just carpool to and from the work parking lot. Which they agreed with.

I hung out a little after I clocked out to propose the new plan to the girl that invited me (I've worked with her for years, and I do really like her) she got upset, and asked us if we expected the person who was driving us to chauffeur us around from work to her place and then to the event, because she didn't have a car right now. I had forgotten that her car broke down and I apologized and said that it made sense. I asked if it was a gated community (because I kind of hate going to gated communities, they don't do anything to keep anyone out -hence the break-ins-) and she said yeah, but it was just a code to punch in, it wasn't a big deal. I then admitted that I was weary because of the break ins and she said "well you park here, don't you?" Meaning that our parking lot isn't gated . Which it's not, but also doesn't have break ins and is actively patrolled by security with their heads up their ass so far they'll yell at people taking pictures back there. I could tell I hurt her pride, so I said I'm sorry, but then she said "you don't say things like that to people" like what? Ma'am I was trying to voice a very valid concern that hurt your ego. I'm sorry it hurt your pride, but don't act like something your complex has always had is the solution to the security problems. You could tell me that they got a new security company, they upped security, whatever changed to make you so confident in the security of your complex. Because obviously a gate isn't doing anything.

I really like and respect that girl, but sometimes she can get upset so quickly, and stay mad even when someone genuinely apologizes (for small stuff, I understand staying mad at big things)

But I decided to just not go, I don't want her to get more aggravated that I don't want to leave my car at her complex. And I'd rather her be able to just chill out and relax from the stress that has been caused by her living situation. I just hate that it made me miss out on hanging out with people from work that I do enjoy.

I just hope it's not awkward when we go back to work on Tuesday. It just frustrated me and was an awkward conversation that I feel she overreacted to.