#if it did than all the people playing those first person shooter games all need to be psychologically tested
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Xbox Research
Okay, someone just asked me if my research into xbox games from both the 360 and xbox one era revealed any changes in demographic trends between those two generations. So now I get to rant about my results!
First! I will describe the data I was tracking. I made a list of all the games officially released for both of those systems at the time I started the research. This came out to about 2000 games for the Xbox 360 and about 4500 games for the Xbox One.
Then I started categorizing each game based on the following factors.
Genre: I chose 27 genres for this project, and allowed each game to get a maximum of 3
Mode: Each game was designated as Single Player, Multiplayer, or Both
Protagonist Gender: Classified as Male, Female, Player’s Choice, Unknown, or Not Applicable
Protagonist Race: Classified as White, Person of Color, Player’s Choice, Unknown, or Not Applicable
I’m going to put the rest of this under a Read More, because there is A LOT
I say I “started” categorizing them, because I will be honest and admit that I did not fully complete all this data for every game in the data set. I prioritized my research by which games were the most popular, ranked by how many players in my data set had played them. I did get all of this information for every game played by at least one person in my data set, which comes out to about 3100 games fully categorized.
As for my player data, I took 90 players (45 self identified men and 45 self identified women) and used their achievement data to track which games they played. This differentiates my data from a lot of stuff that’s widely available because rather than tracking sales, I was tracking what people actually played. If there’s anything I’ve learned in my years as a gamer, it’s that there’s a big difference between what people buy and what they play.
Anyway, on to the trends!
Genres Rise, Genres Fall
The top genres between to the two systems were fairly consistent. Top 5 for the 360 were Shooters, Sports Games, Action Adventure, Brawler/Hack’n’Slash, and Racing/Driving Games, in that order.
For the Xbox One, the top genres were Shooters, Action Adventure Games, Platformers, Roleplaying Games, and Sports Games, in that order.
The biggest difference between the two system generations is that producing indie games for console became a lot easier in recent years. So, not only do we have a lot more games overall for the Xbox One, but many of those are from smaller studios. I believe this is why platformers crack the top 5 in the One era, and why sports game fell from the 2 spot to the 5 spot.
Some genres did have a dramatic shift in popularity between the 2 systems. Walking Sims functionally didn’t exist in the 360 era, but there are a full 32 of them in my data set for the One (and they continue to grow in popularity - I believe the number/ranking would be higher if I had continued to track this to the current day).
Party Games (defined as more casual games meant to be played with local multiplayer for short sessions) dropped massively in popularity. This is no surprise given the shift to online gaming and many franchises dropping split screen capabilities.
Music/Rhythm games also had a massive drop in popularity. Again, no surprise. Guitar Hero, Rock Band and Dance Central were once huge franchises, but now there aren’t really any equivalent major releases.
Classic Adventure Games (defined as character/choice driven games with stories but no or little action) have risen in popularity. Again, this is largely driven by the expansion of indie titles in the space.
Simulation games, survival games and visual novels have also become more popular. I would argue that survival wasn’t really an established genre in the 360 days, but it definitely is now.
ALSO: The prevalence of game modes has shifted greatly! In the 360 era, games largely needed to have both single player and multiplayer modes, with fully 71% of games falling into this category. That has shifted over the years, with only 37% of games for the XBox One era having both. Numerically and percentage wise, exclusively single player games are on the rise. That being said, only one exclusively single player game (Fallout 4) cracked the top 20 most played list. The 360 era had 3 single players games in the top 20 (Hexic HD, The Walking Dead and Assassin’s Creed). So those publishers who claim that single player titles just don’t sell as well anymore? You might not like it, but they aren’t lying.
The Glass Ceiling For Women Was Raised a Few Inches
When it comes to gender representation in games, my results largely speak for themselves.
360 Games With
Male Protagonists: 46%
Female Protagonists: 4%
Player Choice: 36%
Not Applicable: 9%
Unknown: 5%
Xbox One Games With
Male Protagonists: 33%
Female Protagonists: 11%
Player Choice: 32%
Not Applicable: 17%
Unknown: 7%
So, women are getting a bigger market share of protagonists these days, but it’s still only a small percentage.
Also, I will note that Player Choice is not always as equitable as it sounds. In addition to games where you get to create your character, any game with multiple playable characters and even one female option was put into this category. So, for example, a Dragon Ball Z fighting game with 20 characters would count even if only one of them was a woman. This type of thing was (and still is) pretty common.
And this probably goes without saying, but for all my gender neutral folks, nonbinary options were not purposefully excluded from this study. Rather, there were so few relevant examples that any few that could count got lumped in the Not Applicable Category (which also included protagonists of species with alternative gender dynamics).
Things Not Getting Much Better for People of Color
The numbers here are bleak.
Xbox 360 Games With
White Protagonists: 35%
POC Protagonists: 4%
Player Choice Protagonists: 37%
Not Applicable Protagonists: 18%
Unknown Protagonists: 5%
Xbox One Games With
White Protagonists: 35%
POC Protagonists: 4%
Player Choice Protagonists: 26%
Not Applicable Protagonists: 27%
Unknown Protagonists: 8%
As you can see, by market share, people of color have not made any gains. In fact, if you look at games that give you a choice, there has been a backslide! I will note that I think this number can largely be explained by the rise of indie games on the platform, however. Character creation clearly comes with a higher development cost than many indies can afford. And, well, frankly a lot of stuff indie studios are producing isn’t more progressive in this aspect anyway.
While these numbers are not promising, there is one area in which things are not as bad as they look. Namely, popular and triple AAA games are getting more diverse, at least through the avenue of letting your create your own protagonist.
In the 360 era, 7 of the top 10 games features canonically white male protagonists. You don’t get to a canonically nonwhite protagonist until number 14 on the list (Lee, from the Walking Dead).
In the X Box One era, only 3 of the top 10 games features canonically white male protagonists. The rest let you choose. (Lee from Walking Dead is still the most played canonical nonwhite protagonist, followed by Kait Diaz in Gears 5 and Beatrix LeBeaux in Slime Rancher).
This category was particularly fraught because race can be subjective. For example, can we really say that Kait Diaz qualifies as a person of color? We’re talking about a franchise that takes place in a fictional earthlike setting, so we don’t have any real history to pull from. Her skin tone is ambiguous and her voice actress is white. But I feel her name and design puts her in the category of latino coded, and after a discussion with someone who actually played the game, that’s where I put her.
There were a lot of cases like this in this category, so do look at these numbers with a grain of salt knowing that I often had to make a judgement call as to how to classify a character, and other people may have made different judgement calls.
ANYWAY if anyone has any questions about any of the data I collected, please let me know because I could talk about this all day.
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A Brief Overview of some of the Best Video Games I Played this Year
Aight, so I played a lot of video games this year. Big surprise. I did play Armored Core 6, and Sekiro, and Dave the Diver, and Super Mario Wonder, and Tears of the Kingdom. but you’ve heard of all those. You don’t need to hear about them again. For clarification this is about games I played for the first time this year. Not games that necessarily came out this year. In no particular order
1.Rhythm Doctor
Single button rhythm game. Far harder than it sounds. Excellent music, excellent gameplay, excellent story. Go check it out! Seriously.
2.Atomicrops
Twinstick shooter and farming sim hybrid. I got ridiculously addicted to this. Damn amazing game, good for the adhd. Very tight gameplay loop.
3. Shotgun King
Chess rougelike where you are a king with a shotgun. Actually quite strategically complex. Very fun time.
4.Lunacid
Basically a new indie Kingsfield. An excellent time if you enjoy old slow action rpgs. Amazing atmosphere, music, level design, etc. Great time.
7.Citizen Sleeper
If I had to pick a top game from this list, it might just be this. RPG about being an escaped robot victim of capitalism on a space station and all the people you meet there. Made me cry a lot. Very good. Just play it.
8.In Other Waters
The same devs as citizen sleeper made this. Also very very good. About a marine xenobiologist exploring an alien ocean. Also made me cry. Best game about the ocean ive played. Finished it in a single sitting.
9.Mosa Lina
Very neat puzzle game/immersive sim in the strictest sense. Your solution to any give level is truly your own, always.
10.Milk Outside of a Bag of Milk
The sequel to another very good game, milk inside of a bag of milk. Although ofc quite dissimilar from my own experiences, as a person who struggles with intense social anxiety and is generally neurodivergent, I relate a lot to both of these games.
11.Signalis
Survival horror game about being an android who is looking for someone. Another game you just have to play. Very interesting story and themes, and tight, classic-feeling gameplay.
Other games I played for the first time this year and loved, that you’ve probably either heard of before or I didn’t quite like enough to list: What Remains of Edith Finch, Everhood, Paratopic, No One Lives Under the Lighthouse, Hyper Demon, Post Void, Wrought Flesh, Dusk, Exo One, Gris, Into the Breach, Abzu, Antichamber, Humanity, Amnesia Rebirth*
I feel like I need to end every videogames recommendation post now by begging you to play Outerwilds. Trust me, its amazing.
*edit: forgot to list Jusant. Very good game
#video games#video game recommendations#rhythm doctor#atomicrops#Shotgun king#lunacid#citizen sleeper#in other waters#mosa lina#milk outside a bag of milk outside a bag of milk#signalis
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Moonstruck Ch 4. First Date
18+ only! This WIP contains explicit material
“Thanks for grabbing us a table,” Ezra said as he took the seat across from Apollo. A nervous sigh escaped him.
Apollo, all ease, gave him a smile. “It’s nice to see you somewhere outside of the coffee shop.”
“Couldn’t leave all of our meetings up to fate.” He grinned back and picked up his menu.
“I’m glad you thought so too. How’s the unpacking going?”
“Long. I’ve got another six boxes to get through before I’m done.”
“Moving is always a pain in the ass.”
“Tell me about it,” Ezra sighed. “Actually, don’t. I don’t want to talk about moving.”
Apollo chuckled, “What do you wanna talk about?”
“How was work?”
“It was good. Got to work with one of my favorite clients.”
“Yeah?”
“Lizzie’s great. She’s been a client for about three years now.”
Ezra nodded along. “Three years is a long time. I think?”
“I just supplement her other stuff. She’s a professional burlesque dancer but she comes to me for strength and endurance training.”
“I remember those days. I was a gymnast all the way up through high school.”
“Really? That’s awesome!”
Ezra hid a smile in his menu. “Thanks. I got tired of the constant, grueling schedules. Being told what to eat and do and wear every minute of the day. I gave it up the minute I could.”
“Damn. That sounds like it’s even more of a pain in the ass than moving.”
“It was,” Ezra laughed. “The older I got, the more annoyed I became with the food restrictions. Especially during competition season. I started researching more and more about foods and how it intersected with athletics, and it just grew from there.”
“Do you only work with athletes?”
“Nah. I work with everybody, but my special interest lies in athletes and former athletes.”
“That’s really cool, man.”
Ezra grinned. “Do you work every day?”
Apollo shook his head. “My schedule is really flexible, so I can take off when I need to.”
“Did you-”
“Nope. Lizzie was my only client today. Tomorrow I’m booked solid though.”
“Lucky I asked when I did then.”
The waitress arrived to take their order and their menus. When she left, Apollo picked up the conversation where it had left off.
“I’m glad you did. Going another week without getting to see you would have sucked.”
Ezra’s cheeks grew pink.
“Shit. Did that come out weird?”
“What?” Ezra tipped his head to the side, “Weird how? I don’t think it was weird.”
“That’s good. I haven’t been on a first date in years.”
“That makes two of us then. Tell me something else about you? I know you like to run and see the sunrise.”
“I do search and rescue sometimes.”
“Jesus. And I thought my job kept me busy.”
“I don’t like downtime. I like to keep moving.” Apollo took a drink of his water.
“I like downtime, but when it happens at work it just makes the day drag. That doesn’t happen often though. Busy days can drag too, but not in the same way.”
“That I completely get. Sometimes there’s just too much stuff and not enough hours.”
Ezra chuckled. “Those days are worse than unpacking.”
“My offer still stands to help you unpack.”
“There’s only six boxes left.”
“And how long will they take to get through?”
Ezra dropped his head, “Longer than they should.”
“You have my number.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“What do you like to do for fun?”
“I know what you’re gonna think, but I like going to craft breweries. They have fun flavors you can’t find at a store.”
“I don’t drink, so I’ll take your word for it.”
Ezra gave him a smile, “Your turn.”
Apollo returned it. “You’re one of very few people who haven’t immediately asked why I don’t drink.”
“Lots of people don’t drink for lots of different reasons. It’s like me saying I don’t like watermelon.”
“Thanks for that. I like to play video games.”
“Let me guess, first person shooters?”
Apollo laughed. “That’s what everyone always says, but no. They make me mad motion sick. I like co-op RPGs or fighting games. Something I can play with Ilya.”
“Is Ilya your roommate?”
Fuck. That wasn’t supposed to come up yet. Shit. I wasn’t prepared for this. Goddammit I shouldn’t have said anything.
“You good,” Ezra asked at the worried look on Apollo’s face.
“What? Yeah, I’m fine. What about you? Do you game?”
“I play dating and farming sims. Lame, I know,” Ezra laughed.
“Never played one. But if that’s your jam then that’s your jam.”
“They’re super chill.”
“I bet they would be.”
The waitress brought out their food.
“Fate says you should let me try a bite of that,” Ezra said, pointing to Apollo’s crepes with his fork.
“Fate says so?” Apollo chuckled, “better not tempt it anymore than we already have.” He pushed his plate closer to Ezra so that he could take a bite.
“Fuck that’s good. You want some of mine?” Ezra slid his plate towards the middle of the table, offering up his eggs benedict.
Apollo leaned over, cutting out a bite with the edge of his fork. Egg yolk and hollandaise soaked the english muffin, creamy avocado, and the crisp bite of pickled jalapenos burst with flavor within Apollo’s mouth. He closed his eyes and sat back. “I’m definitely ordering that next time I come here. They didn’t have it last time.”
“We could keep sharing,” Ezra offered.
Apollo’s eyes flickered to him. “Do you think it’s what fate wants?”
“It’s what I want.”
“Should we get extra plates?”
Ezra shrugged, “ I don’t mind eating like this.”
“I don’t either.”
They ate a few more bites in silence.
“I wonder,” Apollo said, “if I could replicate that benedict.”
Ezra blinked at him, “You cook, too?”
“Someone in the house has to. You can only live on takeout and pizza for so long.”
“Is there anything you can’t do?”
Apollo shrugged. “Dunno. I can’t do my taxes. Does that count?”
Ezra shook his head and laughed. “You work out, you cook, you like nature, you’re a personal trainer, you’re funny, you’re a Greek god. How have you not been on a date in years?”
“A few reasons. I mostly haven’t been interested in anyone. How have you not been on a date, Mr. doctor, cutie, gymnast?” He took another bite of his crepe. There was one bite left, which he saved for Ezra.
“My last relationship didn’t end great. I haven’t been interested in anyone else since.”
“Sorry to hear that, Ez.”
“It’s whatever. I’ve moved on.” Ezra shrugged.
“I saved this for you,” Apollo said in an attempt to lighten the mood. He spun his plate so the final bite faced Ezra.
“That’s yours, you should have it!”
“Fate says it’s yours now.”
Ezra laughed. “If fate insists, I guess I should then.” He picked up the last bite with his fork and brought it to his mouth. “Thanks, Apollo.”
“Of course.”
“Here, you can have the rest of mine if you want it. I’m stuffed.”
“You sure?”
“Definitely,” Ezra nodded.
“Thanks.”
After breakfast, Apollo walked Ezra to his car. Ezra leaned against the door, shielding his eyes from the sun with one hand so he could look up at Apollo. Apollo adjusted so that his shadow fell on Ezra’s face.
“Um, Ez?”
“Yeah?”
“I have a confession to make.” Apollo’s fingers began to tap against his thigh.
“You’re secretly married and I’m going to be your mister.”
Apollo laughed. “That’s surprisingly close, but no. Well, I mean, kinda? But not really.”
“Now you really have to tell me.”
Apollo’s hand moved from tapping his thigh to running his thumb over the edges of his nails.“I’m polyamorous.”
Ezra blinked, but Apollo rushed on.
“I know. I’m sorry. I really hope you don’t think I was stringing you along. Because I do really like you.”
“Do you-”
“Have a boyfriend? Yeah. His name is Ilya. I hope that’s okay?” Apollo hung his head, heartbeat throbbing against his chest.
“Wow. That’s uh, I was just joking when I said that.”
“I know, but you were really close to the truth.”
“Closer than I expected.”
“Much closer.”
“Well fuck. Okay. If we’re dropping bombs, I guess I should share mine, too.” Ezra took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m trans.”
Without hesitation, Apollo’s face split into a grin. “Hell yeah! One of my little sisters is trans, too. Her name is Abigail. Maybe you could meet her someday.”
“You took that surprisingly well.”
“And you took me being poly surprisingly well.”
“About that,” Ezra said.
All of the air went out of Apollo. His smile disappeared, heart falling to his feet. This is it. This is where he leaves. Fuck!
“When would I get to meet your boyfriend?”
Apollo blinked, trying to reign in his hopes. “Whenever you want. If you want, that is.”
Ezra chewed his lip. “The thing is, Apollo. I’ve never been with someone that’s poly. Hell, I’ve never even met someone that’s poly. Or at least not that I know of. But I do like you. I do. Does he even know about me?”
“I told them yesterday. Kendrick, Ilya’s boyfriend, is the one who found your note in the bag. That was clever, by the way.”
“Hold on. Let me see if I’m following along correctly. You’re dating Ilya, who is dating Kendrick?”
“Yeah.”
“But you and Kendrick aren’t together?”
“Not romantically, no.” Apollo scuffed the toe of his shoe against the ground. “Kendrick and I have known each other since we were kids. He’s my best friend. But, we do sleep together.”
Ezra frowned. “Wow.”
“I know,” Apollo mumbled.
“Where do I fit into this?”
Apollo finally looked up. “I like you, Ezra. I want to keep getting to know you. You don’t really need to worry about Kendrick, he’s not interested in anyone that isn’t Ilya.”
“Except when he’s fucking you.”
“Except then.”
“And Ilya?”
“He’s fine with it. We want each other to be happy. That’s the most important thing for us.”
Ezra nodded. “That’s good. Happiness is important.”
“I want you to be happy, too. Whatever that means for you. For us.”
Ezra’s mouth twisted. “I’m going to need some time to process all of this. It’s.. it’s a lot to take in.”
Apollo nodded. Nervous fingers were clenched into fists to steady them. “I understand.”
“I’ll text you in a few days. Is that alright?”
“Yeah. Sorry to drop all of this on you, but I thought now would be a good time to bring it up.”
“It was. I’ll talk to you soon, though.”
“Talk to you soon.”
Apollo stepped back so that Ezra could get in his car. He waited until the engine started before he moved out of the way and crossed the parking lot to his own car.
Alone, he couldn’t breathe anything that wasn’t Ezra’s scent. It clung to his clothes, the inside of his car, his heart. He inhaled deeply. For just a minute he let himself close his eyes and daydream. Let himself get swept up in every little moment of the breakfast they had shared. That, at least, was worth remembering.
Finally, he pulled himself back to the present and started his car.
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Playing with hair
This is a prompt fill up for SFSummerbingo2022 of the 'Playing with hair' square. @starkerfestivals
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After the whole Thanos fiasco spending time in the lab weekly with Mr. Stark – Tony – is a norm for Peter now. Tinkering on his web shooters, putting new upgrades in his suit, watching Tony work on his suit. This is the best time of Peter’s week. And if Peter also got to see Tony’s muscle flex under those thin tank tops, then it was just an added bonus.
It was a bit hard to accept at first that his feelings towards Tony had long changed from bright-eyed hero worship to something that made his heart clench. Now it’s something he just lives with every day.
This started a few weeks after Tony’s divorce with Ms. Potts, telling him that he can use the lab whenever he wants. Peter was only a little surprised to see Tony join him. But now the lab has turned into a sanctuary for both of them.
With his classes in NYU and spending time with May or his friends, he can only manage to go to the lab once it twice a week. But it’s okay. Peter was content with that. Or so he thought.
Time like these were the hardest to manage to be content with only being Tony’s protégé-turned-friend. Times when tiny touched him. Casually placing a hand in the back of his neck and massage that area, leaning over his shoulder to see what his working on, moving him by a hand on his hip and Peter’s personal favorite, playing with us hair.
No matter how much he tried to tell himself at first that they were all platonic touches, he couldn’t. The fingers pulling at the collar of his shirts, the hand squeezing his hip or the subtle pull of his hair that made it almost impossible to hold back a whimper, wouldn’t let him.
It’s like both of them were waiting for the other to make the first move. The tension between them was palpable. Every week Peter went to the lab vibrating with anticipation and every week he went back wound up and a little disappointed.
Peter was already having a pretty horrible day with his professors thinking that no amount of assignment is too much, people are rude enough to cut in line and the Starbucks barista thinking too much sugar is fun or something. He doesn’t think he’ll survive another day of the ridiculous game if unresolved sexual tension.
Tony notices his sour mood just as he enters the lab.
“Rough day, Pete? You don’t look too well.” Tony’s worried tone made him feel a little better.
“Yeah, had a bad day. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”
“If you want maybe we could skip working today and watch something on the TV. We could also get the Chinese takeout you like so much.” Tony’s proposal sounded tempting but today Peter wanted to keep Tony at arms length.
“No its fine. I need to work on the web shooters and focusing on something else would be better.”
“If you’re sure…” the older man trailed off.
“I’m sure. I’ll be alright.”
-
Peter was not alright. It has been more than an hour and he didn’t get anything done. He couldn’t concentrate on anything at all. He kept getting equations wrong and his head was pounding. He knew he was looking at the web shooter equations but hi brain wasn’t catching anything.
“Pete, that’s enough. Stop working now.”
“Its fine I just need a minute.”
“No you don’t. It’s not like you’re doing anything productive by being like this. Just stop for today, okay? If the web shooters are that urgent I’ll take a lot at the for you. Right now we can order takeout and watch Obi-Wan. How does that sound.”
“That sounds wonderful. Best idea ever.” Peter relented with a sigh.
A few moments later they were settled on Tony’s ridiculously comfortable lab couch, Obi-Wan playing on the TV and finished takeout boxes on the table. Peter was feeling more relaxed then ever. Maybe that was the reason the when Tony put a hand on his thigh all, he did was scoot closer and snuggle next to Tony.
“Peter, what are we doing?” Tony’s we’re weren’t above a whisper, as if to not ruin this fragile thing between them.
“I don’t know, Tony. You tell me. You’re the one who started this.”
“Like you weren’t totally on board with everything.” Peter chuckled when he heard the slight in Tony’s voice.
“Yeah I was. And I’m also on board with doing something more than just sneaky 18th century style touches.” Tony straightened them both so that they were now facing each other. He put his hands on Peter’s check so he was now cradling his face and Peter leaned towards Tony’s right hand just a bit.
“Something more, huh? And what would that be?” Tony leaned closer to his face.
“You tell me.” Peter leaned closer too and now their lips were almost touching, warm breath mingling together.
“Something like this maybe.” And Tony kissed him. It stared out soft and chaste. With just a soft pressure on their lips but soon turned filthy. With him climbing on Tony’s lap, Tony licking into his mouth, hands pulling at his hair.
They broke free a while after, both of them panting. Tony’s hands were still playing with his hair when Peter groaned. “Ugh. I love it when you play with my hair.”
“Yeah? I love it too. Your hair’s really soft. And the sounds you make, Pete. Jesus Christ.”
“Mmm. You have really nice hands.” Peter promptly melted when Tony’s nails started scratching his scalp and nuzzle into Tony’s neck.
“Do you wanna grab some dinner with me tomorrow? Then we can carry on where we left off.”
“Tony Stark, are you asking me out?”
“Yes I am and say yes before I back out thinking this was a very bad idea.”
“Nuh uh. No backing outs.” Peter put his hands on Tony’s waist and held him tightly. “Keep playing with my hair just like this and I’ll go dates forever with you.”
“Promise.”
#starker#ao3#tony stark#tony stark x peter parker#tony x peter#marvel#ironman#spiderman#the avengers#SFSummerBingo22#starker community#starker fandom#starkerfestivalsevents
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Disco Elysium (SPOILERS)
I played through Disco Elysium a while ago. I recommend it if you haven't tried it yet... Don't buy it though, money doesn't go to the original devs anymore, and the people it does go to are shady af.
So, I had tried to play through the game before, but was never really able to actually get through much of the game. Very un-motivated at the time.
But a while ago I actually started a playthrough I'd be able to finish, and I gotta say, I love the game, best game ever made to be honest. Genuinely beats out any other game I've ever played, and that I'd ever play. So I'm making this post to share my experience, and the paths I took to complete it.
Day 1
Sobriety
I easily remembered the whole of the intro, the first day is all I've played at this point, and anything outside of the intro in the Whirling in Rags I did not remember.
I chose one of the template builds, the Thinker, and immediately started thinking of what kind of character I wanted this sad sad man to be. I ultimately decided in making him an ace detective, and horrible socialite, and also swearing him off of alcohol. Pretty much the opposite I imagined he was like before the INCIDENT.
He woke up, he grabbed his things, took a look in the mirror, and saw the beautiful man I would be playing for the rest of the game.
Behold!
He went outside to grab his other shoe, and then conversed with his neighbor for a bit, her being confused at his lack of understanding of who, what, where, why, and how he is. He goes downstairs and meets Kim Katsuragi, his new partner. When asked his name, he came up with "Raphael Ambrosius Costeau." This obviously wasn't his name, as faint bits of memory would later return in the form of "Harrier".
He would then go on to talk to the few people inside the Whirling in Rags at the time, learning about his new debt, and his job as a police officer. Learning about the world as he investigates. Once arriving at the crime scene he immediately throws up. Putting off investigating the body until later. He would investigate everyone around the crime scene, and those at the traffic blockade nearby. Getting a bit of a picture, multiple men carrying a man from a mercenary group to hang him on a tree, the main questions being: Why? Who? Was the man alive at the time, or already killed? He came back to the body, somehow resisting the urge to hurl his internal contents out into the now pre-stained ground. he was able to investigate some while the body hung, but he had an idea, a better idea. Asking for Kim's gun, he was somehow able to convince Kim that he would be able to shoot the body down. And he did it, after all, even if he doesn't remember, he took more off days at shooting ranges than anyone else in his precinct. He was a skilled shooter, and he knew it.
He tried his best to inspect the body, and did a decent job at it, but felt like he wasn't done, and took the body to a fridge to keep it cold to investigate tomorrow. He then went to go talk to the one person available he had not contacted yet.
God, he's ugly.
Managing to avoid sitting in THE CHAIR, he was able to get some information out of Evrart, namely the location of his gun, a rather important thing to have, and a bad thing to lose. Who knows what sort of malicious individual could have found it, and be actively using it for CRIME??
He took the money from Evrart, not because he was agreeing to help him, but because he needed to pay his debt.
He passed by the shipping container, and after yelling at the doors once, he pulled out his crowbar and tried to pry the doors open. In absolute disbelief, he managed to
WHAT THE FUCK
Quickly forgetting about what just happened, and whether or not he thinks capitalism is even an okay practice, he absconds with even more money than he came in with. And investment he said, somehow finagling a cool hundred into his pocket.
At this point, there wasn't much left to do, he had people to interrogate still, but they were elsewhere at the time. So he went back to his room, paid off his debt, and slept the day away.
...But not before tricking Kim into sleeping, and stealing the boots off the dead body, vowing to find the rest of the armor.
Day 2
The Hardie Boys
He went through a whole day without drinking, this is good, this is healing. He knew what he needed to do this day, and first went to investigate the body, as it was early in the day, and the Hardie Boys weren't at their spot yet.
He looked over spots he had already looked at before, but noticed something new.
A bullet hole, in the back of the neck of the body.
This is it, this is new, this implies that the hanging was not the true cause of death, or at least puts it into question.
He was hung post-mortem.
He went to the Hardie Boys for their interrogation at this point. They proved to be very... Strange. It's like they wanted to make themselves seem guilty, practically admitting outright that they hung the body, that they killed them. With the evidence of the bullet hole, this seemed off.
There was nothing else to do at this point.
He went to talk to someone who was near the tree where the body hung, and got directions to a piece of armor.
Harrier told Kim to bring the body back to the police while he went to sleep after a hard day's work.
Day 3
Communism
At this point, Harrier is getting a semblance of personality, a crucial part of any personality being, of course, politics. Harrier became a communist, partially due to the debt really cementing in his mind the idea of the cost of living being bullshit, but mostly just reflecting the beliefs of the player controlling him, who is also a communist.
Before his time, his prime time, Harrier's prime time, there was a war that broke out on this island, a fight between a group of revolutionary communists, and the government, a fight which, ultimately ended with the government winning. Of course, by the time of Harrier, this war was a distant memory of the older people of the island, specifically two people, two possibly gay men who both fought on different sides of the war.
A thought in Harrier's head as he investigated more of the surrounding areas of the body, was that, what if he, himself was the reincarnation of the founder of communism, Kras Mazov?
This was a stupid thought. He kept this thought for the rest of his life.
I'm starting to forget many small details at this point, so I'm going to skim through things.
At this point, Harrier was going into the fishing village, and there... He found his lost badge. In a car. Crashed into the ground. After it had been driven over the bridge connecting the village to the city. Which broke the bridge.
Harrier also joined a group of communists, although it wasn't what he expected, he had a good time with them, whether or not they are fit to lead a new-era revolution. They were fun.
During this time, Harrier also got really into the idea of cryptozoology. Becoming friends with a patron at the Whirling in Rags, and being asked to find her husband, a cryptozoologist. He was found at the fishing village, and he started helping him catch a cryptid, a sort of large bug of sorts, setting traps and lures to try and catch it.
At this point, he also talked to a friend of said cryptozoologist, noticing something strange about him, he got this friend to reveal that he had been keeping, and wearing, a piece of armor belonging to the hanged man.
He had acquired all of the pieces of armor he could at this point.
Day 4
Pew Pew
Today was the day. The day the gun would be found. Harrier's pistol.
It had originally been sold to a pawn shop, then bought by someone, and until today, the identity of that person was a mystery.
That person is "The Pigs", a policiphiliac, a wannabe cop. Possibly insane. Taking multiple things belonging to police, she pretended to be one. In front of the police. Harrier managed to talk her down, and was able to acquire his pistol, before telling her off and continuing the investigation.
It was at this point Harrier had found his style. He was a communist, unfortunately trapped within a reality of ultra-captialism. And at this point he didn't care who knew, which was perfect as he had found a had, a winter hat, worn by those during the war who had sided with the commune.
And thus. Harrier, ultra-communist, was finished.
And he looked damn good.
He also became very good friends with Kim yesterday, and was able to show off his sick pinball skills to him, managing to actually win a game. I only just remembered that.
His investigation was going well, as he was talking to his neighbor again. Klaasje. With her, investigating reports of sexual assault by the victim, reported by the Hardie Boys, although unintentionally. Harrier almost had a mental breakdown, losing touch with his multiple thought-personalities in the process of interrogating her. She revealed to him what actually happened with the victim...
Ellis Kortenaer, an Oranjese mercenary, and Klaasje's lover. During a party involving the Hardie Boys, she and Ellis had went up to her room, and FUCKED had private involvements within. This caught the attention of a so-called corporate assassin, who then shot Ellis in the back of the neck, while he was on top of her. Using his high perception, Harrier took into account the angles, the bullet hole in the window of the balcony, and where Ellis would have been when he was shot.
He deducted that there would only be three places where a possible killer could have be posted.
Klaasje, afterwards fearing that the bullet that hit Ellis was meant for her, and thinking if she covered it up as a group hanging it would not be noticed by who was after her, she gathered the Hardie Boys and another accomplice, deeply involved with the drug issues in Revachol, to fake a hanging.
Kim suggested they arrest her, but another option was to give her a note that makes her obligated to turn herself in.
Harrier took this option, at the behest of his easily-manipulated psyche, his inner thoughts, his personality. Although his volition was against it, his gut feeling, it told him to get Kim to arrest her here and now, but Harrier was too easily convinced by his other, compromised thought-patterns.
Within the day, he investigated two of the earlier mentioned killer's locations, noting that one has had no human life within it for weeks, if not months, the other, he was unable to rule out, being very secluded.
He then investigated a lead from an earlier delve into a drug trafficking ring. Below, where he found his revolutionary hat, in a secret tunnel network. He was assaulted by the accomplice of the fake hanging, Ruby, although not a willing accomplice. Using a device to disorient the two detectives, but after they destroy the device, she threatens to shoot herself. Harrier manages to de-escalate the situation, promising not to arrest her if she puts the gun down, and telling her they just want to talk to her. She does drop the gun, but runs afterwards, back towards central Revachol. Following her, the detectives stumble upon a most troubling scene...
The Mercenary Tribunal
The time has come, a promise from the mercenaries fulfilled. On this day, they have come to exact their revenge. Confronting the Hardie Boys. The detectives intervene, guns drawn, they try to talk down the mercenaries, trying to convince them that they know who did it, that the killer is going to be found soon, but nothing works. They say they already know who did it.
Bullets fly. Time slows to a halt. Harrier has just shot the leader of the mercenaries. He tries to yell for his comrades to shoot him, but he collapses before words could leave his hole-abundant mouth. The mercenary full clad in armor raises his rifle, but Harrier manages to dodge it, while Kim aims a shot at the man. Harrier notices the mercenary standing next to the leader raise her gun, towards Kim. Before he could call out, two shots ring out. Kim is unscathed, and the fully clad shooter is killed instantly... A member of the Hardie Boys has been shot. The leader, in his dying breath, his final moments of living, shoots Harrier.
Harrier blinks, collapsed on the floor, in pain too immense to describe. A lot of good the armor did him, he thought, as he bled out on the ground, seeing in his fading vision a figure, walking up to Kim who is trying to make sure Harrier is still alive. Harrier yells out to Kim.
Day 5
Harrier Du Bois
In the Whirling in Rags, Harrier wakes up, Kim standing next to his bed, explaining the situation, and aftermath. Two Hardie Boys have been killed. All of the mercenaries are dead. Harrier is in too much pain to move properly, unable to run too much, lest the pain take him. He decides to continue the investigation anyways, just one last place to look before it's all over, an island, an abandoned base back during the war.
Harrier, trying to feel better, brings a radio on the ride to the island. It feels badass. He feels badass.
Arriving, he makes his way up to the spot he had seen from the balcony of the Whirling in Rags. On the way, he spots a man, a very old man carrying a gun used by the communist revolutionaries.
After some time of questioning, Harrier discovers this man is a deserter of the army that fought for the commune in the war. The deserter explains some things, finally tired of the life he had been living all these years.
He had been spying on Klaasje from the island, and through a peephole inside the Whirling in Rags back rooms, watching her every move, watching her sleep every night, wake up every morning, watching her stand on her balcony in fear and contentment. He developed feelings for her, through these times watching her, leaving her flowers on her balcony that bloom mainly on the island he lived on.
Something is wrong with him, clearly, but something else is there. Another presence, which shouldn't be there, shouldn't exist.
Cryptid
The creature the cryptozoologist had been chasing the whole time. It was real. It was controlling the deserter through pheromones, controlling his brain processes, making him ignore its presence, but also making him go slowly insane the whole time he had been on the island, and live longer than he had any right to. Once it appears, the link is severed, and the deserter falls limp, catatonic.
Harrier touches it, linking his own fractured psyche with the creature. The conversation is long, a talk about the pale, a mysterious force akin to radiation, that appeared along with humans to the world, although Harrier, for a moment, thinks its talking about him when it mentions the pale coming into existence with "you". It talks about the bad relations between flora and fauna, and humans, with the creatures of the world believing humans will bring the destruction of everything, eventually. It talks about its own history, about how it, as a species, has gone unnoticed for over 4,000 years.
Harrier urges Kim to take a photograph. As soon as he does, Harrier moves away, sensing hostility building up in the creature.
The creature leaves, and leaves behind its nest. In the middle of which lies a helmet, the last piece to the set of Fairweather T-500 ceramic armor.
The detectives agree to leave and, when they get back, they find police officers gathered, finally catching up to Harrier, wanting to take him off the case, thinking he'd do irreparable damage to the stability of the investigation, not knowing that he had already completed his investigation.
The police have no idea of Harrier's recovery over the past week, Kim, having become very close friends with him very quickly, backs up Harrier saying that he has completely stopped drinking, and become a very good cop as well, at the same time also becoming extremely communist, though Harrier insists it won't interfere in his work.
They reluctantly accept this, and the evidence of a cryptid with the photo that Kim took, and in the end, Harrier is back to work, along with Kim who agrees to be his partner for good.
That was my completed playthrough of Disco Elysium. And I will never play it again. I feel like if I even make one, tiny, small choice that differs from my original playthrough, I'll be betraying my original experience of the game.
I recommend, even after reading through basically the entire main plot of the game, and spoilers on the ending, that you still play through the game. This was just my one perspective, and you could get a WILDLY different experience from this. You could become a fascist if you want, or a hyper-capitalist. Or a liberal. You can become a superstar cop, or a cop who is sorry all the time.
For me, I played through the boring cop communism, while accidentally dabbling into capitalism by constantly asking for money from people.
Please don't buy the game. Play it though.
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So I went and watched that Cyberpunk: Edgerunners on Netflix. I finished the series last night. So first thoughts when I started:
It was hard for me to want to watch anymore after Epi.1. Not because of the graphic nature (though I was not prepared for the literal blood bath it started with), not because of langauge (that doesn’t bother me at all). But because it confused me. I don’t know if it would have been better if I had played the game beforehand or not. It’s a shame if that’s the case - that you have to play the game to have a better understanding. I can’t help but compare it to something like Arcane, another Netflix series based off a game; I haven’t played LoL in YEARS, only played for a couple months and know absolutely zip about the lore, but I could watch Arcane without any problem and I thoroughly enjoyed it. (I originally was going to compare it to The Witcher but scrapped that, since the series is more based off the books than the game).
It took me another week before going back and starting Epi.2, and I’ll be honest, the only reason I did is because I am sick and had nothing else to watch 🤣 And that night I pounded through 2 or 3 episodes. I was starting to get a better understanding and had even grown to like Maine, Dorio and Rebecca; Lucy was still on my shit list at this point lol and David... well, he wasn’t one of my favorites, let’s just put it that way.
I still don’t have a full understanding of the world and the circumstances that led to people modifying themselves into cyborgs (and why you have fools that go so far as to lose their minds). But I did enjoy most the characters. And I hated most their fates, ultimately leaving 1 (maybe 2? Though I don’t remember seeing him at the start, maybe I missed him in the background somewhere because he seemed to know Maine) of the original crew that David started with alive.
As I said before, I don’t know if I would have understood more if I had played the game; I’m not sure how much backstory/world building the game gives you. Did it make me want to play the game? I mean, a little? I’ve always wanted to play Cyberpunk: 2077, I’ve heard good things (y’know, when the developer’s finally went in and patched some fixes and what-not), it looks like it has an awesome character creator (which is a huge bonus for me) and looks to have a (at least mildly) interesting storyline. But unfortunately its a shooter game, which I can’t do (I’m horrible. no lies) and it’s in first-person (I loath first-person games, I don’t like not being able to see what’s around me, and makes making a character pointless since you don’t get to look at them outside of maybe the occasional cutscene or screenshot taking).
I feel they need to do some kind of prequel to the series (since a sequel is about 90% not gonna happen given how it ended, unless they do another edgerunner team kindof thing). Give a little more background into the world to better understand what’s happening for those who didn’t play the game. I feel like I would have enjoyed it so much more if I understood the world and how things worked.
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Now I need to know. Who is the actual villain dictator that you like.
Why did you like them? Thank you
Pagan Min from Far Cry 4, though there is some dictator namesake according to google that i've never looked into.
his story--and the far cry 4 story--is pretty great and mayhaps also left a unique impression on me as it was my first bigger shooter game.
story is about an american guy, ajay, who comes to kyrat to bury his mother there. mum and dad are from there and his mum essentially left with ajay to the united states. we start looking at the urn and the letter, and then the bus he's in gets stopped/shot and dictator pagan min appears, gets mad at some of his soldiers on what the difference between stopping and shooting the bus is (the soldier shot the bus) and kills him with a pen. ajay has to sit down for tea time with pagan, runs away, and is swept up in the conflict between pagan and the golden path, a rebellion that his dad once led. he starts to work for them because he glorifies his dad and somewhat forgets about his mum, and the instructions on bringing her to lakshmana--whatever that is, we and ajay are left in the dark about that.
but! the golden path is actually pretty bad. we start doing war criming to reach pagan min, once more, and finally kill him. when we get to face pagan, in the very end of the game, he tells us about lakshmana, the daughter of ajay's mum and pagan (!!), and that he loved her and had actually invited ajay to tea so he can hand the kingdom over to him (!!) as he had grown bored of being a dictator. meaning, we did all those hours of killing and fighting and blasting our way through when we could have simply sat down for tea with him, found lakshmana, and gotten a new head of state all by waiting.
that's the story, and it's so thought-provoking in good vs. evil lines blurring together. the options we get by not waiting, by playing the game, are ultimately worse than by discovering the secret ending (i.e. we wait in the tea room for pagan to return and get the kingdom handed over within 15 minutes of gameplay.
pagan is designed to be full of dichotomies. he's funny and got some of the best lines but he is so vain that he has a whole golden statue built of himself. he cares deeply about ajay and calls him several times throughout the game but he is okay with people dying for his fight with the golden path or because they angered him. even the pen he uses to stab someone with is a gift from ajay's mum; meaning he stabs a soldier with a gift of love.
villains in the far cry series are always incredibly well written and the main focus of the game. no other character gets that much attention. but pagan min has held up to me more than the other villains have, and i think it en large is because of the likability that he tries to create and the relation to the protagonist he has, while we try to balance the question of what is good and bad. pagan min is a bad person, but he genuinely cares for ajay and he used to genuinely care for lakshmana and ajay's mum, ishwari. the 2022 DLC we got even explores this further, where pagan feels the split between good and evil in him and he realises his own guilt in why ishwari left to the united states.
the reason why i enjoy this character so much and why i talked about him in the previous ask is that no matter what pagan does, the moments of evil aren't far away. this isn't a sweet summer's child who has had bad things happen to him nor is he progressing from nice to evil. instead, the good and bad are never far from each other--just like the seemingly meaningless pen he stabs a soldier with.
#inbox#anon#far cry 4#video games#pagan min#and this is why i feel like CS is a slippery slope in the fandom#i don't feel like collins pulled the character off like she could have done#i've seen far too many people be utterly baffled by him killing (?) lucy gray#so many felt like CS did a 180#and that ain't good if that's a general impression#i was bored throughout the whole book and waiting for snow to do real bad stuff#and then he did only for the book to end#where was the killing people for political gains bit#i wanted to see his rise to power not his vacation time in d12#i wanted to see blood and evils#and we barely got that#and this is why i worry that CS will be blorbofied#because we didn't get to see enough of him being unarguably bad#meanwhile pagan min literally stabs a soldier with a pen#and i love that because it shows how he abandoned love and all things good#and why he is so hung up on ajay coming to kyrat
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First post
Jordan Kantor
Professor Cavitt
ENC 1102
29 Feb 2024
Gaming Hurts?
Hello everyone Gamergurl here! For my first official post I wanted to discuss the stigma around gaming being bad or unhealthy for you. Since my blog will go in depth about specific games, I think it is important to go over some broader topics of gaming first to touch the surface of gaming before we really get into it. One of the biggest stigmas around gaming is how it can be dangerous for you in different ways. These ways can range from health- both mental and physical, exposure to insensitive topics such as violence or nudity and of course the gam chats with strangers. While all of these issues are very real and genuine concerns, I am going to focus on how gaming is actually good for you today.
To begin, I would like to go over rhythm games first. These games are typically in the style of point and click to match up with a song. These games are good for reaction time. They stimulate the brain and improve hand eye coordination skills. These skills are also building blocks for more hands on or intense games such as shooter games. The National Institute of Health published an article that states “The researchers found that the children who reported playing video games for three or more hours per day were faster and more accurate on both cognitive tasks than those who never played. They also observed that the differences in cognitive function observed between the two groups was accompanied by differences in brain activity. Functional MRI brain imaging analyses found that children who played video games for three or more hours per day showed higher brain activity in regions of the brain associated with attention and memory than did those who never played”. This not only shows how gaming is good for brain development but regular tasks. Memory and reflex demanding games cause the player to exercise these muscles in the brain. While they may or may not realize it, they are doing an activity that is good for their brain and themselves.
Gaming is an outlet in so many ways. It can be used for inspiration and a way to express emotions. Personally, if I am in a bad mood or just need a pick me up, I will get online. An easy way to get out anger or sadness is channeling it into a game. An article done by the American Psychological Association states “Simple games that are easy to access and can be played quickly, such as "Angry Birds," can improve players' moods, promote relaxation and ward off anxiety, the study said. "If playing video games simply makes people happier, this seems to be a fundamental emotional benefit to consider," said Granic. The authors also highlighted the possibility that video games are effective tools for learning resilience in the face of failure. By learning to cope with ongoing failures in games, the authors suggest that children build emotional resilience they can rely upon in their everyday lives”. Video games can be calming even though they are known for intense emotions. There are many games that fall into the category of “indie”. These games are typically very calming and have soothing music with slow gameplay. These games are a nice alternative to other stress relievers. Personally, when I am upset or need to get some emotions out, I channel those feelings into an intense game. For me these games are FPS or First Person Shooter. Something in the games relieves that violence I built up and lets it out in a healthy way. Games are also a controlled setting to allow emotions out.
Many games can actually teach you life lessons. My favorite example of this is the GTA franchise. For those of you who are not familiar with these games, you play as a character in story mode or a free roam world option. There are missions where you complete heists, robberies, shootings and more. While all of this sounds reckless and like a horrible idea for a child to have access to, this game has repercussions or consequences. If you break another persons car you have to pay for it with your personal in game currency. Cops can come and get you for doing these bad things such as robberies. And while doing these bad things is the objective of the game, there is the reminder that punishments await. This almost reinstalls the fact that these actions are bad and should only be committed online in a game. An example of a life lesson in games that I like is the don't give up and keep persisting aspect. The Harvard Buisness Review uploaded an article which mentions “Video games can be repetitive. You might fight the same monsters again and again to level up. You might run around for hours collecting sticks just to build one weapon. You might make tons of progress, only to fail at the last moment and be sent back to square one. Games take patience. The same can be said for work, and our lives in general — it can feel repetitive at times. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Think about it — if we didn’t enjoy the small, mundane moments of video games, what would be left? The patience and hard work are what make the glorious cut scenes, rare achievements, and final fights worth it”. These are some lessons that adults have a hard time with, learning this at a young age can be very beneficial for you in the long run.
Gaming is a way for many people to remain social. Gaming can allow you to connect with many people all over and create unique relationships. I personally have made some great friendships with people online. These relationships may be online but they are very real. As someone with anxiety, I find it easy to talk online. Hiding my face and detailed information about myself can be freeing. These people do not know who you are or what you look like etc. They only know what you tell them. For my senior year of high school I did all of my classes online. I did not do zoom so I had no contact with any classmates or anyone else but the teacher. This made it difficult for me to remain social. I found myself mainly socializing with my online friends. I was able to spend more time on my computer so it was easier for me to see what was going on online already. I would sit in calls with my friends or take mini game breaks in between subjects and assignments. This would be a distresses method for me and a way for me to calm down during class almost like a rest period in between classes. Since I also do have a hard time making friends out in public, this method of connecting with others was super easy for me and comfortable. An article by GEICO states “Past research involving children found that those who played more video games were more likely to have good social skills, perform better academically, and to have built better relationships with other students because of the social and collaborative component to some types of games”. This shows that people who play games are better at being social.
It may be hard to believe, but gaming can be a job .There is a broad spectrum of employment that falls under the term “gaming”. This can be from coding and designing to actually playing games for a living. The more common jobs related to gaming are jobs like game design, animation, game development etc. Or there are jobs to play games professionally. This is definitely an interesting career and not one that many can get into. I know this myself because I am trying. I stream on Twitch. It is definitely easier to make this a career if you are very good at a specific game because then people will watch you for the top tier gameplay. Unfortunately, I am not nearly good enough to be considered a pro in any game. My content turns towards funny rather than good. I still try very hard but I know that I am no pro yet. I like to consider my content as a road to success as I am working on improving as I make content. I have been streaming for quite some time now and I just try to have fun with it. At first I tried to be as good as I possibly could, but that got tiring really fast. It is not easy always trying to be the best at any given moment. I learned that as I went on. Now I just have fun and enjoy my time. Trying to be the best took all of the fun out of gaming for me. Once you reach a certain mindset in competitive gaming many people just seem to loose interest, I was a victim to this phenomenon.
To conclude, gaming has a natural negative stigma surrounding it. Gaming actually is not a harmful activity. It has many benefits both physical and mental. It can be a source of inspiration or an outlet for emotions. It can be a way to express yourself in many ways. Games can teach you real life applicable facts or skills. I myself use gaming for fun, money and a way to express myself. Nothing is better than that winning feeling you get from a victory or the endless laughs with strangers online.
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oh boy I finished (citation needed) a new game time to add to the veedia tag again
metal: hellsinger (ps4)
this game is Lovely. this game is so fun. I cannot aim to save my god damn life. metal hellsinger accomplished a major feat in having the only possible setup in the entire world to encourage me to play a first person shooter (being, really good metal and rhythm mechanics) and to that I applaud it because I consider fpses to be sort of my mortal enemy? right next to mmos and fighters? im gonna go into it more let me not take up ur entire dash.
the gameplay is Lovely. i did play on easy mode but ough the. shotgun cocking effects to the beat of a good metal song. there is Nothing Like It. the difficulty is Honestly Not Bad ** given some practice time and its very much a delight to play. well. save for one part but ill get to that. its a darkly lit game which is a problem but all of the enemies are color coded, glow, and have their own sounds and that alleviates it a bit.
i will say that the game is. Not Optimized to PS4? it is. Quite Glitchy and while I don't mind most of them i know some people do and there were a few that very much got in my way (i posted the acheron boss glitch a couple hours ago). also sometimes enemies just get stuck in the floor and youre waiting for them to pop up so you can move on. thats fun. also the bug enemies suck. the shield enemies also suck. those arent glitches i just hate them.
as for plot uh. this game was not made for plot. i accept this. its kinda Just Okay but it doesnt really need to be more than that. you play a scary demon lady who wants nothing more than to rip the devil limb from limb. whats better than that. youve got a troy baker skull. the plot there is admittedly pretty cute especially if you try to analyze the lyrics but i am also very much a sap and it hit a specific genre of Relationship In Media That Is So (Kinda Just There) Its Not Even A Subplot which is one of the few genres i can actually stand. i will say i feel i got a bit beauty and the beasted at the ending but like. eh. it wasnt that much. anyway. next point
theres no bad songs in here. my favorite is this devastation easily. ost introduced me to arch enemy which is a band you can all tell I'm normal about. the lyrics only kick in when youre at max multiplier so being able to hear a good drop is a good motive to get decent and not get hit. i think my ranking of songs is this devastation - no tomorrow - burial at night/stygia - dissolution and then everything else is kind of at the bottom in no particular order. not to say i dont like them but theyre all the same level of like. also serj tankian is there. he is lovely. he does the final boss theme (no tomorrow) that I wish I could fucking hear him over damage sound effects and myself swearing. yeah now we get to that
** The Final Boss Is Bad. yeah my main problem (and kinda only Real Problem) with this game is uh. i dont think i can actually finish it? there is an Enormous difficulty spike at the final boss to the point where my first run of lasted a solid Two Minutes if that and i am on easy mode. my friend described it as (game is touhou now) and yeah i can see it. first person touhou. nobody wants to play first person touhou. i dont want to play first person touhou. i didnt actually beat the game i just watched the ending and resolved to get back to it when i feel like it (never) and do better things with my time. like draw unknown in little outfits.
anyway thats My Thoughts. its a good game and i will probably keep playing the levels over n over. for people who dont replay these games over n over it is definitely not worth the money as you can pretty easily slash through all the levels in one sitting if you know what youre doing but i am easily entertained and love rhythm games. stay tuned for doodles of the unknown with my general fashion sense. listen to the two best tunes also. maybe listen to the whole ost after if u like it.
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mie what are your thoughts on gamer!armin? i know we have streamer eren, but do you think armin would game too?
Unfortunately... this is a very cute concept, and I can see almost all boys fitting some kind of gamer/streamer aesthetic :((
He has a pc setup, but I think he might also have a console or two. He would be one of the lucky bastards who got a ps5 for retail price and he’s so lowkey about it even though it’s kind of a big flex (see, now, if Connie or Eren had it they wouldn’t fucking shutup about it ever bye).
He keeps the ps5 in his living room tho, and honestly uses it very casually. It’s really more for when you wanna play games with him, or for when his friends come over and wanna do more multiplayer stuff together. Or for things like Just Dance.
He would probably also have a Switch but got it as a birthday present or something; he didn’t want to buy it himself/have too many consoles, but since he has it, he does use it (and he really likes it)! Lowkey he takes it with him to some of his more boring lectures and he’s in the back of class playing Kirby lmaooo
His pc setup would probably be all white with a lot of neutral/grey tones, and maybe blue? or like sage green as his accent color, idk I feel like those suit him. His computer case and monitor and desk would be white, but his keyboard/keycaps could be green/blue and the mat for his mouse and stuff. His headphones, too.
Speaking of which, I think he would have one of those keyboards with the round caps that kinda give typewriter-ish vibes, but are still very clicky and satisfying to type on. He uses his setup for games, but also for work lmaoo so it’s pretty practical.
I think he would also have pretty lights around his setup. Not the typical rgb/led ones, but maybe those hexagon (?) tile things, or just a simple string of, like, Christmas lights he found at target or something. He always has the lights on if it’s dark out; he doesn’t like the only light source to be from his screens because he thinks it’s too harsh and it hurts his eyes. Baby.
He has like a fake laptop next to his desk for his cat to play with so that it doesn’t jump on his desk when he’s gaming or doing work.
When he plays games, it’s usually with his friends esp if they’re multiplayer. He doesn’t like gaming with random people, it makes him nervous. Sometimes even his friends can be too much for him after a while lmaooo
He gets really excited if you wanna play games with him. He doesn’t think he’s the best gamer in the world, but he’s good enough to show you the basics and somehow it feels easier when you’re playing with him.
Has a thing against first-person shooter games, but he’s a little too good at them. He doesn’t like them because they kind of make him dizzy after a while and because some of them are a bit violent yet... he’s scary accurate at them. Him, Mikasa, and Levi... a little too good at games like that despite never playing them... is there something you guys wanna share with the class...
He complains that you’re “distracting” him when you sit on his lap when he’s at his computer, but it’s highkey one of his favorite things. Even if he’s actually doing work, and not gaming, he kinda sorta really likes that you would just wanna sit in his lap and take a nap. He pokes fun at your for it after tho, let that be known.
Very protective about food and drinks near his computer. And by protective, I mean they’re not allowed with a six foot radius. Except water, but even then it must be bottled. Food/drinks and technology don’t mix. Not to mention it’s all white, he’s not taking any chances. And he cleans his desk religiously.
He has glasses he’s supposed to wear when he’s looking at screens for too long. He looks very cute in them. He hates being photographed in them. You have gotten away with taken far too many photographs of him in them.
Sometimes he just sits in his swively chair for fun. Not to game, not to do work. Just to spin around for a bit. He also likes to let you sit down and spin you around for fun. It’s how you have long conversations and make decisions about what to eat for dinner.
Lets you have a profile on his desktop. He also lets you have a villager on his Animal Crossing island and is very bitter if you do not let him do the same, even though you both have your own islands.
Even if you don’t play with him a lot, he’ll still get you matching headphones. He’s very shy about it.
If he streams, it’s probably because Eren or Jean stream too and got relatively popular, and then he did by association. He doesn’t mind it. His solo streams are a lot more calm than Eren’s or Jean’s or Connie’s, but people like them anyway. It’s a lot of fun when they all stream together.
People really like watching him stream on his ac island. His is so pretty (because he spent 6 straight weeks putting it together when he first got the game. No sleep, no other games. Just him collecting recipes like a little worker bee).
He usually mentions you off-handedly in his streams, and eventually people catch on that you’re his girlfriend. He wouldn’t necessarily ask you to show your face (and he definitely wouldn’t make you if you didn’t want to), but he would mention to you how much people ask about you.
He... lowkey... kind of likes how much people like you (and likes the comments that tells him he’s lucky or the jokes about if his girlfriend is single). He never responds to them, but deep down... he... has a thing for them. I will not analyze why here, but I will let you take a guess <2
He lets you use his computer for anything you need to. If you wanna play (with his friends, without him; which is really fucking funny by the way, because Connie probably wouldn’t even notice that you’re on the mic for at least an hour), or do your homework, or just watch videos, or whatever.
His cat sits on his lap or his desk, or at it’s little mock cat-desk sometimes, but on chill days/when he’s playing calm games, sometimes it his just on his shoulder. Takes a little nappy nap. Occasionally licks his cheek.
#anonymous#no i dont wanna talk about this keep your mouth closed if you know me#aot x reader#snk x reader#armin x reader
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SWTOR: It's. About. Story.
After weeks of complaints about the new Galactic Seasons program, the devs posted a response today. Unfortunately they managed to neatly sidestep almost all of the complaints players have been making en masse:
1. The PVE objectives funnel a lot of players into areas where the instances are too large for the map to accommodate, such as 30 players on CZ-198. It's thus making those areas miserable to play, and woe to anyone actually trying to complete story (such as Rishi and Yavin 4).
Solutions to this issue would be a) lower the number of players in each instance; b) distribute the objectives more broadly so players don't all converge on a few specific areas. EA/BW said nothing about the former and doubled down on making the objectives narrow for the latter, at least for the first season of GS.
2. The "RNG" for objectives is very heavily skewed toward PVP and GSF, which are activities many players dislike and do not want to do. It's not uncommon to have both GSF and Warzones come up as the day's POs, and there's only one re-roll.
3. Re-rolling any objective often results in GSF or PVP coming up again. There's only one, so that often means a player cannot complete their PO (s) for the day.
As solutions to #2 and #3, players have been asking for a) more re-rolls; b) a way to toggle mission preference between PVE, solo PVE and PVP objectives so they avoid the ones they hate and won't do.
4. There are no solo weekly POs.
It seems as though EA/BW is making a conscious effort to ignore all the feedback on what many players actually want from the game and the issues they've expressed both on the PTS and live, to try to push the play styles they - and a small clique of fans - personally favor. It feels to me that they are trying to force the game and the player base to be something they're not.
SWTOR was marketed as a story based game. Its core demographic comes largely from two single-player, story-based games: KOTOR and KOTOR II. When it was released it was praised for the richness of its storytelling, and the strength of its voiceover artists.
Not PVP.
Not raids.
Not GSF.
Story. Good, substantial story.
The writing on the wall is there with other EA/BW games, too. The next Dragon Age was changed from a MMO to a single-player game. Anthem, a game involving group play, failed. Fallen Order, a single-player story based game, did well.
Mass Effect and Dragon Age are a decade old. KOTOR is an older game, too. People still play them, and want more of them, because of the story.
Of course, EA/BW would love it if the SWTOR playerbase en masse learned to love PVPing and GSF. It's low-cost content for them. They don't have to do much; just provide the maps and let players kill each other. But that isn't why people play this game, overall. There are far better games for PVP, first-person shooters and space battles, if that is what one actually wants. Heck, there's an entire space battle Star Wars game, Battlefront II, if that is what one wants.
In SWTOR, it's about the story. It's about the characters.
Sometimes I feel like there are devs at EA/BW who are trying to do this with the resources they have, and I'm grateful for that effort. The swoop rally had short storylines and characters to talk with. Echoes of Oblivion brought us the best writing since KOTFE. They had a Mandalorian themed flashpoint that brought in a storyline for non-Force users. None of it was IMPS VS PUBS 4EVA!!! which was great. Even the Secrets of the Enclave was pretty good. While I dread what it may be setting up, and it's back to the IMPS VS PUBS 4EVA!!! treadmill which is boring and tedious as fuck, it was designed well and had some really excellent moments.
But...Spirit of Vengeance was designed initially at a level much more tedious, and requiring better gear, than usual story/solo flashpoints. GSF objectives get way more conquest points that anything else. Some mats are only available through ranked PVP or NiM Ops. And now, Galactic Seasons, which could have been brilliant but seems to be garnering more resentment, anger and lost subscriptions than anything else.
When is there engagement and interest in SWTOR? When does one see more people posting on the official forums? When do the planets seem busier? When there's new story or event that can be soloed.
What do people constantly ask for? New stories, new engagement with companions, new strongholds, new world building.
It's interesting that EA/BW never has to beg or bribe people to play the story. Players do it because they want to. Even KOTFE/KOTET, which are not super popular, do not require player bribes. The only story content people seem to avoid or revile en masse are the walker missions; Oricon, which needs two ops to be completed; and Makeb, which tellingly has no characters with which the player can bond and engage long-term.
The class stories? Still being played. I've been through the Sith Warrior story four times, with several clones at various points in the class story working their way through. I've been through the Sith Inquisitor story three times, again, with more clones coming up. Bounty Hunter? Three times, so far.. Smuggler? Twice, so far. Imperial Agent? Twice. I've repeated every class story at least once, and I still keep coming back to do the class stories and planetary stories and side quests, because they are good. Because I like the characters I meet. Because the planets are engaging.
Shadow of Revan? Still being played.
I still see people on Ilum. I see people on Onderon and Ossus. Even Zakuul and Iokath. The story content gets played, and played again. One of the things people have requested again and again, in fact, is a way to repeat the story content.
Voiceover artists are expensive, especially when three languages are being recorded, but players have offered ways to add engagement with companions without speech, such as emails from them. Silent missions. You don't need to have a voiceover artist to animate a short scene of Lana Beniko or Theron Shan dancing on the beach with a PC they've romanced.
Even if they cannot keep up every romance, if they just kept up with Lana and Theron it would make players happy. Add in, let's say, four or six selected from the class stories - let's say Scourge, Kira, Quinn, Jorgan, Vette, Risha - and a lot of people would be overjoyed. Four men, four women; equal number from each faction + KOTFE. That does leave an uneven number of mlm/wlw possibilities but there are two of each, as well. And those companions can certainly have platonic friendly conversations with the PC, too. I personally really miss Vette, Talos, Xalek, Blizz, Ashara and Jaesa being in my story. And many others, too.
The things being offered by GS are things that story players enjoy - decos, new strongholds, companions with side story missions - and this makes it even more frustrating that story players are being expected to PVP, GSF and use Group Finder, unless they want to buy their way through, to get them.
Don't get me wrong - the fact that it's all optional makes me less angry at EA/BW than Iokath and Oricon did, by a long shot. All the same, it's a shame they're setting it up this way, because if they gave story/solo players objectives that were not PVP and group based, I think they'd be seeing a lot more excitement and engagement right about now.
Right now, it seems EA/BW is far more interested in catering to a smaller player group who enjoys side content that the rest of the player base has to be actively bribed and coerced to play. Should PVP and GSF get development? Sure, if people enjoy it. Should the game try to funnel the rest of us into it? No. The fact that players don't want to be there, and have expressed that sentiment again and again, and constantly need to be bribed and coerced into it, should be a wakeup call. But EA/BW is still sleeping and hitting the snooze button.
SWTOR is a story-based game. Raids, PVP, GSF are all wonderful for those who enjoy them but they are not for everyone. Players in a story based game need story.
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Hypothetically Rewriting Assault’s Story + Some General Assault Opinions
There’s a game my husband and I like to play when we watch a movie, play a game, or read a book that has a story that we don’t really enjoy or we enjoy certain parts of but not others. We look at things we’d keep and things we’d change and we build a story from there-- sort of like an AU but we don’t really go into the writing part, we just stick to theorizing and mapping a general story.
I decided to play that game with Star Fox. Not because I think Star Fox has a bad story but because sometimes I think the stories could have been handled better. Note: for the rewrite game, I only really look at story, even for video games, I don’t really look at gameplay mechanics, but I do understand those have a lot to do with story potential so I do take it in as a factor... I just don’t bother to “rewrite” the mechanics, if that makes any sense at all. Some of my list today will include boss encounters but I wouldn’t necessarily say those are mechanic-related... more like “event-related”.
I’ve mused a bit in the past about rewriting Adventures and Command and I do have plans to do a mock up of an Adventures remake eventually. However, today I was thinking about how I would go about handling an Assault re-write in particular. Much like Command and Adventures, I don’t have any beef with the core story but I do think there’s a few things that could’ve been better about Assault’s storyline-- like they had good ideas rolling but they didn’t quite refine them.
Under the cut because SUPER long.
My basic feelings on Assault are pretty positive. I think the game is generally just fun and I like that it feels like the natural progression from SF64. I liked getting to see planets we haven’t seen since the N64 era in better graphics and I liked seeing Star Wolf return. I also just thought the aparoids were neat enemies.
Generally speaking, though, when it comes to Assault, I think it suffers from the thing it tries to push the most-- the story. I think a lot of people get caught up in thinking the story is better than it is because it’s the first game since SF64 that really follows the same Star Fox vibe without retelling the Lylat Wars. Don’t get me wrong, the overall plot is great but the execution and pacing are... wonky. Certain characterizations also take a hit in some regards but no one really talks about that when Command exists. That’s something we’ll talk about later on with this post.
That being said, Assault really does have a lot good going for it. An absolute banger of a soundtrack, some great dialogue, a neat story synopsis, the introduction of cool characters like Panther and Beltino (who existed but was always off-screen), and just good levels.
So, here’s what I would add, I suppose, if I were to somehow have the ability to rewrite Assault. Originally I had this in paragraph form, but I’ve made it into more of a list under topic segments with main points bolded for your viewing pleasure. Some of these points might be considered nitpicky and while I do understand that yes, this is a game about space animals, I do hold the developers in high enough regard to make a game with a continuity that makes sense.
The Story Changes
- Reduce Pigma’s storyline in Assault. This is the biggest one for me because a bulk of the plotline feels like a giant chase to just get at Pigma and it feels like it derails from the actual plot with the aparoids. We only go to Sargasso because of Pigma. We only go to Fichina and then back to Meteo again, because of Pigma. That’s 3 levels in a 10 level game devoted to just tracking down Pigma and chasing him. While it makes the build up to fighting Pigma kind of nice, I personally feel like the plot could be reduced to 2 levels. If Assault overall was a longer game, I could see them making it 3 levels. Overall, though, in its current state, I feel like the side plot overstays its welcome and the aparoids promptly get shoved to the side in favor of “Oh no, we gotta get to Pigma!” And I get the main motive here is to show how the aparoids affect people and because of the build up, it does a good job at showing how utterly terrifying the aparoids are. But it’s still too long given the length of Assault’s story. The only alternative to this is make Assault longer, which... honestly, it should be.
- Revise the scene with Tricky. I’m obviously not well-versed in dinosaur biology but I’m pretty sure dinos didn’t grow that fast from what studying I HAVE done. And why is he suddenly king now? Did his parents die? He seems not affected by this at all? Like it’s a funny scene with him, Fox, and Krystal, but it’s odd if you really look at it. Give us, as players, more context because I’m still not even sure what happened to make Tricky suddenly the leader and... big. As a note, you’re gonna hear me gripe a lot about the Sauria level in this post.
- The Star Wolf + Peppy sacrifice is a low effort way to raise tension/stakes and then cop out. Oldest trick in the book, imo, is to act like you’re going to kill off important characters only for them to be alive miraculously. And let’s face it, as an audience we all know they aren’t going to kill those characters because it’s Nintendo and those characters are too beloved. I would’ve forgiven them for only doing this with Peppy or Star Wolf, but when you tack them both together and throw in the fact they make it seem like you’re going to have to kill General Pepper too... yeah, it’s just a bit much of the same trope over and over again. I wanted to put a note in here about how I’m fine with the Great Fox being “sacrificed” but overall, it needed to return to the series because of it’s icon status, but I think that’s more of a gripe at Command instead of Assault.
- Keep Pigma alive. This will conflict with a point I have later on about the game consistently having characters cheat death for easy drama points but with Pigma, I would’ve kept him fully alive... but maybe with some physical damage from the aparoids. I understand he’s semi-alive in Command and tbh I don’t know where I stand on that. Why keep Pigma alive, you might ask? I feel like his character has a lot more potential than being “just the greedy guy”. Like he’s got good potential future villain material for future games and... if I’m honest? I just don’t see Nintendo wanting to keep Pigma dead so why even bother killing him off? They couldn’t even commit to him being dead in Command anyways so it seems very moot.
- Bring Bill and Katt back. Assault is acts a bit like a big reunion of all of our SF64 favorites but our two favorite side characters are suspiciously missing. Wouldn’t Bill be out on the front lines fighting against Andrew in the beginning? Or maybe back in Katina? And wouldn’t Katt inevitably show up in the midst of the invasion, maybe to pointedly check in on Falco?
- Bring Andrew back for the final fight. I think Andrew being defeated early into the game is fine overall but I think bringing him back in for a reunion final fight against the aparoids would serve to really solidify that it’s really everyone vs the invading aparoid force. It would show that not only is Star Wolf willing to put aside their differences but so is basically everyone in the Lylat System in the name of survival. Imagine the Venomians and Cornerians working together against an aparoid fleet, giving Star Fox and Star Wolf time to attack the queen? I just think it’d be neat and it’d open up the potential for some fun banter mid-mission. I do understand that quite a few people consider Andrew canonically dead after Assault but personally, I feel that his defeat left his fate questionable (I’m a staunch believer that unless there’s a body, they’re probably alive, especially for Nintendo games because, again, they never like to kill people off) so him returning in Command never really bothered me.
- In general, reconsider some of the character portrayals. Unfortunately, when a series has a different studio for each game, character portrayals will inevitably have inconsistencies. While I give Namco a lot of credit for putting in oodles and oodles of detail into the game (particularly the levels), I think they failed in their portrayal of Fox, at the least, and Wolf is a considerable offender as well. While it’s obvious that Fox in Adventures was effectively modeled off of Sabre even in terms of personality, Rareware was at least able to justify Fox’s newfound jaded attitude with the passing of many years and a distinct lack of steady income, resulting in the team being in disarray. Assault’s Fox is a stark contrast to his cynical interpretation with seemingly no explanation other than maybe “Oh, I have more money and a gf, maybe I should behave myself”. As if the sudden change in personality wasn’t random, Fox also just seems very blah, like a blank slate stereotypical shooter game protagonist dude with little to no emotion. Wolf is less obvious but gets slated into a mentor-like role midway through the game and ends up in a respectful rivalry with Fox... which there’s nothing inherently wrong with that except for it happening abruptly (and, I mean, Peppy is right there). But I take less issue with this and more of an issue with the fact that there’s an entire level establishing that Wolf now runs a crime den with effectively what seems to be an army and no one bats an eye at this. He doesn’t even call on them to help with the aparoids. Did they all die when the aparoids attacked Meteo? Are they safe somewhere else? Where do they go? How was Sargasso able to operate without the CDF being on their doorstep with warrants for arrests?
- Don’t kill all the dinosaurs. A bit of a dramatic statement but the ending screen that showed all the damage to Sauria really bothered me. While I understand that the dinosaurs had less of a chance against the aparoids than a more technology-focused society like Corneria, I was a bit disappointed that the decision was made to just state that a lot of tribes had been wiped out. I know this could easily be retconned in a future game and I feel like it should be. “But why, Amalia? Why are you disappointed by that?” 1) It’s a little too grimdark for my tastes. 2) The fact it all happened off-screen felt very hand-wavy. And 3) It brings into question the entire point of Adventures. Why did we bother to save this planet if it was going to be reduced to rubble and ash 1 year later? Where were the Krazoa in all of this? Why did they not make an appearance at all to try to stop the invasion with their alleged powers? It just raises too many weird questions and I feel like Namco didn’t think it through too much. Which I mean, sure. Family, kiddo game. I’m not asking for bigbrain plot and lore but I’m squinting at this bit because it does feel very contrary to the lore from the previous game.
- Make the aparoids more relevant. As nice as it is to have a random bad guy from another galaxy, I feel like there was more that could be done with the aparoids in terms of their origins. Tiny things, mind you, not huge revelations. Off the top of my head, they could have been tied into Krystal’s backstory to help alleviate some of the complaints that she was too random to be added to the series’ main cast. Alternatively, they could have been a product of Andross or even a weapon prototype from Corneria that fled the lab (I actually thought the game was leaning in that direction for a bit then just Nothing Happened). I get that the vagueness of their origins leaves room for people to speculate and speculation is nice but... when you leave too many things unknown, it starts to feel less like giving fans room to interpret and more like just doing random things for the sake of it. I think a lore tidbit here or there would work wonders for the aparoids instead of leaving them as just borg/zerg clones.
Level-Based Changes
- Add either Aparoid RedEye or Aparoid General Scales as a boss to Sauria. Given that this level mysteriously lacks a boss, which is just weird compared to the other levels, I think that they had the opportunity to add something cool to go along with the cinematic feel they were going for with Assault. Assault’s cutscenes do play in a movie-like fashion and it’s clear they’re trying to make the game as epic as possible. It’s a shame they had so much fodder for a great boss here but they failed to go through with it. Alternatively: Add a Krazoa-Aparoid fusion. Why? Because Star Fox is about cool epic sci-fi and that would be cool epic sci-fi incarnate.
- Add a boss to the Aparoid Homeworld Level, aka the penultimate level. Another one I felt was personally weird that there was no “final defense system” to challenge the team. Would be cool to do an aerial battle over the aparoid planet with some giant flying aparoid.
- Be kinder to Sauria. The level had some good homages but overall was incredibly small and incredibly short. It felt like a bone tossed to Adventures fans but was not entirely true to the setting built by Rareware. I’m... not even sure where the Sauria level is supposed to take place? I presume it’s Walled City but it doesn’t really have the same color scheme or aesthetic? Also where is my revised Adventures music? Why do all the other levels get it but Sauria doesn’t?
- Put some of those funky items from the multiplayer into the main campaign. I don’t know why some of these things, items especially, were omitted unless it was purely due to time constraints. I remember having missile launchers and jetpacks in the multiplayer and was a bit sad that they were not in the main campaign. Retuning the levels and adding those in would be a nice breath of fresh air for the more tedious on-foot missions.
- More levels. Self-explanatory. Still sad we didn’t get the Zoness or Titania levels in the single-player mode.
I think all of the above changes would improve the game, though I recognize all of this is being said 16 years later after lots of time to contemplate Assault’s weaker points. I’m not entirely certain how long Star Fox Assault took to develop but given that there’s obviously quite a bit scrapped from the game (an entire arcade mode was scrapped as well), I’m going to assume that the studio felt pressured to shove the game out the door and into the hands of customers. It’s a shame, really, because I think a little bit longer in the oven would have done a lot of good. Still, the product we got was good in its own right and a game that many people look back on fondly. I haven’t gotten to replay it in years but I hope to quite soon.
You might wonder why I bothered typing this all out and I guess my point was this-- Assault was great but it wasn’t perfect, and while a lot of other games fall under a crushing amount of scrutiny, Assault seems to dodge it. And don’t get me wrong-- I adore Assault. But given that not many takes exist out there about rewriting it, I decided to give it a shot. For variety’s sake.
I do want to a mock up of a revised Assault story, which I think I will get to work on after completing this while all my ideas are still fresh in mind. So stay tuned for that sometime in the near future. I will also be doing my Adventures mock up at some point but probably not for a little bit as I do wanna focus some of my free time on actual fic-writing.
Anyways, if you stuck around this long, thank you for reading! Have any changes you’d like to see to Assault if you could time machine your way back to the early 2000s? Feel free to post in the comments, I’d love to read your ideas!
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Warm Beers
Taglist is OPEN! Dm or comment to be added
Posting Schedule: Monday, Wednesday, Friday
This takes place before season one!
All Works Master List
Warm Beers Master List
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Word Count: 1808
Kenzie slips out of her room, quietly closing the door behind her. JJ was still asleep, cuddling into one of Kenzie's pillows with the green dinosaur squishmallow John B. gifted Kenzie last year under one arm. He looked so peaceful that Kenzie couldn't bring herself to kick him out, even though it was already eight in the morning, and she could hear her dad downstairs making breakfast.
"Does JJ want eggs?" Shoupe asks, back turned towards Kenzie when she enters the kitchen. His daughter stops in her tracks and stares at his back. How the hell did he know? Kenzie made sure that everything was put away and that they stayed quiet all night. "You're not as sneaky as you let yourself believe, Z," Victor points out and looks at his daughter with a knowing smirk.
"Dad, I'm so sorry," Kenzie starts to apologize, knowing she broke one of her dad's rules. Again. No boys were allowed to have sleepovers until after she was eighteen.
"Don't apologize. I've known since the first night. If I wanted to get you in trouble, I would have," Shoupe points out, turning back to the scrambled eggs in the pan. "You're too good to that boy, you know?"
Kenzie slides into a barstool and leans against the counter. She rolls her eyes and protests, "He just needs some extra love. You've seen the deadbeat dad he got stuck with."
"I know. I'm just giving you shit. Now, does JJ like his eggs scrambled or over easy?" Kenzie shrugs. "You're best friends, and you don't know how he takes his eggs? Are you even best friends?" Victor jokes.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to know his damn egg order to be considered best friends. I'll demote us to acquaintances again," McKenzie sasses with a roll of her eyes. Shoupe laughs at her and dishes his eggs onto a plate.
"You didn't want any, did you?" He asks as he takes his place next to Kenzie at the kitchen island. Kenzie shakes her head. She wasn't the biggest fan of eggs unless she was low on protein. If they had more cheese than egg, she would eat them, but the Shoupe household was out of cheese at the moment. Which Kenzie considered a crime punishable by death. "Didn't get any sleep last night?" Kenzie shakes her head again as Shoupe's phone starts to ring. He sighs when he sees the caller and answers it. McKenzie slips off her barstool and goes to grab a breakfast shake from the fridge while her dad gets called in early for work.
He sighs and hangs up, looking at McKenzie. "I have to get going, Z. I'll see you later tonight?" Kenzie agrees and hugs her dad goodbye. He leaves the house with his plate of eggs and his ceramic coffee mug. Victor had already gotten dressed and everything he needed for his workday when he decided he had enough time for breakfast. Which, obviously, got cut short.
Kenzie moves to the living room couch and sits on the far end, drinking her shake and scrolling through social media absentmindedly while she thinks about her plans for the day. She should probably clean up her bedroom, or she could forget that and go play with the Pouges on the water.
She glances up from her phone when JJ sneaks downstairs, looking around for the deputy. "He's already at work, Maybank," Kenzie calls up, causing the boy to jump. She giggles and waves him over. JJ jogs over and jumps on the couch next to her. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."
JJ rolls his eyes and slaps Kenzie's phone out of her hands. "What the hell, JJ?"
"I wanted your attention," JJ shrugs, smiling at her innocently. "The fuckers have work today, so it's just you and me until three. So, what are the plans?" JJ asks, heading tilting. Kenzie rolls her eyes and picks her phone up from the ground.
"Who said I wanted to hang out with you?" Kenzie jokes. JJ pouts and crosses his arms like a child throwing a tantrum. "I'm kidding, J." Kenzie laughs, pushing JJ's arm lightly. "I thought that I should clean my room but would rather play games," Kenzie suggests.
"I say we play games all day," JJ inputs, causing Kenzie to giggle. Her eyes catch the Hello Kitty band-aid still stuck on his chin, heightening her giggles into a real laugh. "What?" JJ asks, forgetting the bandaid is stuck there.
"You have a kitty on your face," She laughs. JJ's hand slaps the plaster and starts to giggle as well. "You look so stupid," Kenzie continues to laugh as JJ claws the Hello Kitty off of his face.
"You're the one who forced me to wear it last night," JJ exclaims, rolling up the bloody band-aid and tossing it to the floor. "What's the plan, Ken?" He asks, trying to forget the way his heart melted when Kenzie kissed the wound late last night. It didn't mean anything - to either of them - but it was such an innocently sweet thing Kenzie always did to make JJ feel a little bit better.
McKenzie rolls her eyes, picks up JJ's disgusting plaster between two fingers, and takes it to the kitchen trash can. "I'm always picking up after you disgusting idiots," Kenzie says, shaking her head as she walks back to the living room. JJ just smiles a Cheshire cat-type smile as he lounges on the couch. "Pick a game, Loser," Kenzie instructs as she plops down next to him.
JJ starts up her game system and scrolls through her options before landing on a first-person shooter he knew he'd beat Kenzie at. As she takes the remote, JJ grabs her legs and sets them on his own. She squeals slightly as she gets pulled closer to him, practically sitting in his lap. When given a questioning look from Kenzie, he just shrugs and starts the game. He just needed a little extra physical love this morning.
The two yell and push each other when the opposite kills them during their numerous rounds. Kenzie's tongue sticks out the corner of her mouth as she concentrates on the game in front of her. JJ takes notice when he glances over at her.
Kenzie's hunched over, feet planted firmly on the ground instead of over his legs after he brutally killed her. The controller is clutched tightly in her hands as if the pressure she hit the buttons with would make the attacks hit JJ harder. Her tongue pokes out, and her eyes squint at the screen in concentration. JJ could feel his heart pick up in pace as a smirk spreads across McKenzie's face.
"Bomb! Headshot, Maybank," Kenzie cheers, jumping up from her seat and doing a small victory dance in front of JJ. He forces the smile that creeps across his face down as Kenzie continues to dance. She was so happy that she won against JJ that she was practically glowing. Her smile spread so far across her face that her chin dimple appears.
At this point, JJ knew there was something else besides beers and not eating causing his upset stomach. But it didn't hit him until Kenzie turned to face him, smiling wide and eyes bright, that the feeling came up, and he felt like he needed to throw up. Kenzie was one of the most beautiful people JJ's ever had the pleasure to have in his life. Both inside and out. But was he going to confront these feelings? He's JJ Maybank. Of course he won't.
"I let you win," JJ pouts, crossing his arms and leaning back into the couch. Kenzie giggles and jumps on the couch next to him, knees tucked under her. JJ rolls his head to the side and glares at Kenzie. Her eyes glisten with victory as she stares back at the boy.
"You didn't let me win; you got distracted," Kenzie points out. She obviously saw JJ staring and used that to her advantage. He wasn't as sneaky as he liked to think he was. Drool was practically flooding out of his mouth as he looked her over. Kenzie was a little flattered that JJ got distracted by her, but it also made her stomach clench.
"Yeah? By what, Ken?" JJ prompts, sitting up so he's even with Kenzie. Something was yelling at him to lean in, to make a move on his best friend. JJ knew he shouldn't, but the urge to kiss those pretty pink lips grows the longer he looks at them.
"My unfathomable beauty," Kenzie teases, leaning closer to JJ unconsciously. JJ smirks and glances down at Kenzie's lips again. They just looked so fucking kissable right now. Kenzie's tongue pokes out and licks the soft skin, egging JJ on more.
Kenzie can feel JJ's breath fan across her face as they slowly gravitate towards each other. This was wrong on so many different levels. They were best friends, and there was the no-Pouge-on-Pouge macking rule. But being this close and this intimate was causing both teens to get upset stomachs and throw caution to the wind.
The garage door swings open harshly, and the deputy follows soon after, carrying his empty dishes and looking around frantically for something. Kenzie jumps to the opposite side of the couch while JJ leans back into the soft sofa cushions casually. As if they weren't about to kiss.
"What are you looking for, Dad?" Kenzie asks, scratching the back of her neck. Shoupe takes one look at the teens and rolls his eyes. They looked like love-sick puppies who longed for the other's sole attention.
"I got to the station and realized I left my badge at home. Have you seen it?" Victor asks, still looking in the kitchen.
"You didn't have it this morning, so it's probably still upstairs, in your room, on your dresser," Kenzie says, knowing exactly where Shoupe keeps his personal belongings. He sighs out a thank you and goes to retrieve it. The teens stay silent and avoid all eye contact.
This had got to be the most embarrassing situation Kenzie has ever been in. It was getting hotter in the room by the second, and Kenzie and JJ continue to ignore the other's presence in stiff silence.
Kenzie's dad yells down that he's found as he trots down the stairs. He places a quick kiss on his daughter's head and eyes JJ suspiciously before bidding his goodbyes and running out the door. The friends continue to sit in silence, staring at the floor, before Kenzie breaks the silence.
"Are we going to talk..."
"No," JJ answers curtly and picks up a remote. "Let's just play." Kenzie agrees silently and goes back to fighting JJ, who won't let up on the poor girl.
Taglist: @queenofallhobos @gwenlovesharrystyles @gviosca @x-lulu @cognacdelights
#jj maybank#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank fanfic#jj maybank fanfiction#jj maybank obx#jj maybank series#jj maybank story#warm beers#obx#obx1#obx series#obx story#obx fanfic#obx fanfiction#outerbanks fanfic#outerbanks fanfiction#outerbanks#outerbanks series#outerbanks story#outer banks#outer banks fanfic#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks series#outer banks story#outer banks imagine#outerbanks imagine#imagine#romance#love#teen story
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White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 3/3
Full Story: Part 1, Part 2
Hey my beautiful readers. Thank you so much for sticking around till now. I was honestly so terrified of posting this fanfic because I had never done that before but everyone’s response has been so kind to me. Thank you.
This is the final part. I hope you all enjoyed the story. As always, this chapter is dedicated to the Shooters GC who are the best people on Tumblr.
Quick Info: The songs used in this chapter are You Were Beautiful by Day6. Park Yoona who plays Sujin said in an interview that she liked Day6, specifically this song. Haru by Royal Pirates is a personal favorite of mine. It has the same theme as True Beauty that in real love, things like looks don’t matter. The final song that Seojun sings to Sujin is Half Moon by Dean. Hwang In Yeop who plays Seojun stated that he liked this song in an interview.
Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun
Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers
Word Count: 16.2k [this one is LONG]
Rating: T
PART 3
i.
“What have I done?” Sujin pulled at her hair in frustration.
The deal she had made with Han Seojun had been the on account of the many shots of soju she had taken. It was only when she had sobered up the next morning that she realized, with horror, just what exactly she had promised.
It was a bad idea. On paper it sounded plausible; two people suffering from the same pain could empathize with each other. But in reality, going through a heartbreak meant that you needed someone to support you, not the other way around. Trying to support someone whilst being in pain yourself was hard. And in this particular case, it would be impossible. Mainly because the people Kang Sujin and Han Seojun liked were with each other.
Sujin could see her and Han Seojun’s fledgling friendship going up in flames before it had even had a chance to fly. She would always want to talk about Lee Suho and he would resent that since Suho was the one dating Jukyung. Seojun would want to talk about Jukyung and Sujin would find that annoying for the same reason.
It was a recipe for disaster.
“Yah, gimme your number.” Sujin had demanded last night, handing Han Seojun her phone after he had agreed to her stupid proposal. Seojun had obediently entered his number at her behest. She programmed her number in his phone as well.
“There. Now we can text each other if we ever need to talk.”
“Ya, why am I Gangster in your phone?” Seojun had protested when he had saw her type it out.
Sujin had chuckled, drunk on soju. “Because you’re a gangster, you gangster.”
“Is that so?” Seojun proceeded to type away furiously into his phone. He held it up for Sujin to see.
“Princess? Are we kindergarteners?” Sujin had frowned.
Seojun stuck his tongue out. “That’s what you get for naming me Gangster.”
Sujin had retaliated, editing his contact. “Here!” She held up her phone.
“Wha-What? Twerp?”
Sujin blanked on the argument that had proceeded after this but she knew they did argue. To the point that the owner of the tent bar kicked them out.
Now Sujin was stuck with the contact named as Twerp on her phone and she had no idea what to do with it. Should she text him? Should she delete it? Should she just pretend last night didn’t happen?
She knew she should choose the third option. Or even the second. But her hand itched to send Seojun a text and see if he really was up for hanging out.
All day long Sujin kept checking her phone, looking for any new messages or missed calls she may have received. All she got were some memes from Suah and everyone else’s responses to those messages on their group chat. Han Seojun had also responded with a laughing emoji. Which meant he wasn’t too body or occupied to text Sujin.
Then why wasn’t he texting her?
Why do I care?
Sujin knew why. It was because she had no body else to talk to about what was bothering her. Normally, she would have called Jukyung but this time, she couldn’t. Jukyung’s giant engagement ring kept flashing in her mind over and over. It even plagued her dreams last night.
Sujin needed to occupy herself. Her current jobless situation wasn’t helping things either. She quickly fired a text to Suah to see if she was free to hang.
Sorry Kang Su! Me and Taehoon are going to visit his parents. Suah had replied.
Sujin looked at her list of contacts. There was no one else but Han Seojun who she could ask. Reluctantly, she texted him.
I’m going to the batting cages. Wanna join me?
Sujin pressed send before she could stop herself and was immediately filled with deep regret she saw the “Seen” check appear.
One minute, two minute, fifteen minutes passed. He didn’t reply.
“Guess he wasn’t interested.” Sujin lamented. It would have been nice to have someone to hang with, but given the obvious rejection, she had to make do with just lonesome herself.
Kang Sujin wasn’t exactly a prodigy at sports, but she was considerably better than most. Batting happened to be one of her strong suits.
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
She hit each ball with graceful ease. Her brows were furrowed in focus. Her breathing controlled and steady. Sujin had learned long ago that sports aided in dealing with her rage and frustrations. It was a way to release all of her worries in a healthy manner and channel inner peace.
Thwack! Thwack!
She hit again and again, not caring about the score, just wanting to get the shot.
“Wow, I’m impressed.”
“Huh?” Sujin carelessly turned and her surprise at finding Han Seojun standing in the adjacent batting area was only thwarted by the ball hitting her in the torso. She yelped in pain.
“Oh, gwenchana?” Seojun asked in concern.
“Aish.” Sujin held her side and moved out of the way of the pitching machine. She gave Seojun a scathing look. “What are you doing here?”
“You asked to meet here didn’t you?”
“People normally respond to invitations to confirm they’re coming.” Sujin checked herself for injuries before resuming her batting position.
Seojun was quiet. “I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to meet you.”
Thwack! Sujin hit a ball. “Oh, yeah? What made you change your mind?”
Seojun picked up his bat, not responding. The pitching machine on his lane whirred to life. He hit his ball. Thwack! “Did you see the video Jukyung posted?”
“Ah-nee.” Sujin replied. Thwack!
“She posted a bridal makeup tutorial.”
Sujin missed the next ball. And the one after that. Seojun could feel her gaze on his back but didn’t dare turn. From his posture Sujin could sense hostility. Which was fine, she hadn’t invited him here to talk. She invited him here to vent. She resumed her batting.
“I scored higher than you.” Sujin informed with a grin once they were done.
“Good for you.” Han Seojun said, unimpressed.
He still seemed on edge. Sujin had tried to engage him during their small breaks between the game but all he had given her were clipped answers.
“Did you watch the entire video?”
“Yes.”
“How did it feel?”
“How do you think I felt?”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Just hit the ball.”
Sujin didn’t know how Seojun was when they had parted, but she herself felt significantly better. She went home with a peaceful mind and even discovered that she had gotten a call from a prospective employer. They asked if she could come in for an interview the following week. Perhaps things would be getting better from now on.
Or perhaps not.
The interview had gone horribly wrong, especially after the interviewer realized who she was. Sujin had expected a polite rejection but instead the interviewer had decided that she deserved a lecture on bullying from him.
“You know. I was bullied too as a kid.” The interviewer had said.
The experience had left her shaken. Was this going to be her life from now on? Would she just be kicked out of society just like that, over a badly reported gossip article?
Sujin’s hands ached to be washed but she refused to even think about it. She needed an outlet and she knew exactly what she wanted. It was then that she got a text from Han Seojun.
Let’s meet.
Sujin told him where to show up.
“You know jujitsu?” Seojun was surprised when she had invited him for a match.
“Don’t you?” Sujin said, clad in her white Gi. She had been warming up when Seojun had arrived clad in jeans and a hoodie. He had a cap on underneath the hood.
“I don’t fight with girls.”
“And what if a girl fights with you?”
Seojun chuckled incredulously.
“If you can laugh like that then you can show me what you’ve got, no? Or are you afraid you’ll lose like you lost in the batting cages.”
“That wasn’t a competition.”
Sujin smirked, “Sure it wasn’t.”
Seojun rolled his eyes and went to change out of his clothes.
Smack! Down Han Seojun went. He had gone easy on Kang Sujin for the first round because she was a girl. But she had immediately disarmed him and thrown him over her shoulder. Grinning like a wolf, she immediately took the fighting position again, leaving Han Seojun to recover on the floor.
“First one doesn’t count!” He argued.
“What’s wrong, Han Seojun? Can’t even fight against a girl?”
Seojun got up, “Alright. I won’t be going easy on you anymore.”
“Fine by me.”
Sujin attacked first, Seojun quickly blocked her, wrapped his arms around her waist and tried to push her down. She wrapped her legs around him and swiveled him around so that he fell. Then she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling at his arm.
“You fight without strategy.” Sujin said through clenched teeth as she tried to keep him down. Seojun managed to turn her entire body over, releasing himself.
“Fighting is about instinct. Not strategies.” Seojun went for the attack this time. Sujin blocked him but he easily maneuvered around her, throwing her down and pinning her in place with all his strength. It was an awkward position to be in, but he didn’t care. He would not let her win.
“Anything without a strategy is doomed to fail.” She grabbed his collar and adjusted her leg to flip them over. Now she was keeping him down.
“Nope. Instincts always win.” He weaseled out of her grip and they parted.
Sujin took fighting position again. She easily jabbed and smacked him around while Seojun blocked haphazardly. She was precise and focused, knowing exactly where to hit and how.
In her mind, she wasn’t fighting with Han Seojun. She was fighting with her interviewer. She jabbed and blocked and kicked the man who had sat and judged her without even hearing her side of the story. It was cathartic to let this all out. And if Han Seojun got hurt in the way, then she didn’t mind.
Sujin and Seojun fought for a long time, both sweating and panting with exhaustion but neither relenting.
“I’m still winning Han Seojun.” Sujin said with labored breath.
“We’re not done yet.”
Smack! Down Han Seojun went. Again, and again, and again.
“Had enough?” Sujin asked as they parted.
“Never.”
Seojun attacked. Sujin easily blocked it, kicking him in the chest. The mat was slick with their sweat. Sujin didn’t see Seojun slip and fall to his knees. She only spun around to deliver a roundhouse kick to his torso. But the kick would have hit him in the face. Except, except Han Seojun caught her ankle just in time. The force of it nearly knocked him down.
“I can’t let you hit my face.” He said with a half smirk.
“Wae?” She asked with a flick of her brow.
“It’s a precious commodity.”
He pulled Sujin by her ankle, bringing her leg to his side. She fell on him, using his shoulders to brace herself. Their noses were almost touching. He cupped her calf and grabbed her sleeve to hold her in place.
It was too close. Sujin’s mind went blank. And that was the opening Seojun needed to throw her down.
“I won that round.” He grinned, standing up.
“Doesn’t matter. I’m still ahead.” Sujin’s face still felt hot. She got up and straightened her Gi. “I think that’s enough for today.”
Seojun nodded. “You hungry?” He asked. After the workout she had just had, she was ravenous.
They went to a nearby convenience store where they got ramen. Seojun watched in surprise as Sujin hungrily chowed down.
“What?” Sujin asked.
“You are a very unexpected girl, Kang Sujin.” Seojun took off his cap and ran his hand through his hair.
Sujin smiled and stirred her ramen. “So, what happened this time?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why’d you ask to see me today? Did Jukyung post another video?”
Seojun hesitated. “Last time… I was in a bad mood. But you seemed like you wanted to talk.”
Sujin gave a slow smile. “What? You felt guilty?”
“Yes.” Seojun said unabashedly.
“You know we don’t have to talk. Maybe we can just keep each other company.”
“Sure. That seems fine.” Seojun looked at her critically. “But something was bothering you today.”
Sujin bit her cheek. “I had an interview today.”
“Didn’t go well.” It wasn’t a question.
Sujin told him, about how her interviewer treated her. About how she feared she may never get a job again.
“Ah-nee, how can people be so ridiculous? You already settled the matter didn’t you? Then what’s everybody’s problem?” Seojun’s outburst warmed Sujin’s heart. It felt good to talk and share. It made Sujin feel lighter. She wondered if she could return the favor.
“You didn’t tell me what you thought of Jukyung’s video.”
Seojun’s face fell. “Ah. That.” He leaned back and sighed. “Did you see it?”
“Yeah.”
Seojun’s face was a strange combination of pain and admiration. “She looked beautiful, didn’t she?”
Sujin’s voice was small. “Yeah, she did.” And Suho probably thought so too.
“They’ve been together for so long. Marriage was inevitable. But now that it’s happening… I don’t know. I just feel… honestly I don’t even know what I feel anymore.”
“I know what you mean. I can’t imagine how I’m going to attend the wedding.”
“My mom’s inviting the two over for dinner to celebrate. Imagine having to sit through that.”
“Yikes. Does your mom know how you feel?”
“Of course, she does. But Lee Suho is my best friend and she’s happy for him.”
“Well… I’m always here,” Sujin held up her phone, “just a text away. If you need me.”
“What I need right now is more food.” Seojun got up.
“Aren’t idols supposed to diet?”
“Not when they’ve had their ass kicked twelve times. You want anything?”
“Nah. I’m full.”
While Han Seojun went inside, Sujin checked her phone for any messages and emails. She had applied to a dozen non-profit companies. None of them, except the interview today, had gotten back.
“Omo. Isn’t that, that girl?” Someone said loudly.
“Yah! Shhh!”
Sujin looked up to some mean looking high schoolers gawking at her. There were three of them but the one standing in the front was clearly the leader. The girls to her side was trying to keep her quiet but unsuccessfully.
“It is! Look. Its that woman, Kang Sujin! Wah! I never thought I’d meet someone I read about online in real life.” The leader girl came forward, crossing her arms.
Sujin stood up to her full height. The girl was shorter than her, but she was undeterred. Sujin half admired her courage.
“Can I help you?” Sujin asked in a measured tone.
The leader girl stared Sujin down. “Check out her audacity. Should someone who’s hated by everyone be talking like that?” The girl spoke in banmal.
“I don’t know you. And you don’t know me. So why don’t you leave?” Sujin suggested. These kids were younger than her, although by not much. They looked like seniors who might have been held back a year or two.
“Why should I leave? You leave.”
“I was here first.”
“This is my usual place. My boyfriend’s coming here to meet me.” The girl said self-assuredly.
“Then let him come. There’s enough space for the both of us.”
“I don’t think so.” The girl got right in her face. “You’re the girl who seduced our Seojun Oppa, aren’t you? Don’t you know that you almost ruined his career by doing that?”
Sujin laughed at the thought of Han Seojun being someone’s Oppa. He always seemed so childish to her.
“Oh, you think its funny to ruin someone’s career?”
Sujin tried to explain calmly, “No, no. I wasn’t—"
The girl pushed her, “Women like you are everything that’s wrong with the world!”
The old Kang Sujin would have kicked this rude girl’s ass by this point. But Sujin was trying to be a new Kang Sujin, one that didn’t hate easily. Sujin sighed. “Kid, just leave me alone.”
The girl poked her finger in Sujin’s shoulder. “And what if I don’t?”
Sujin raised a hand and the girl flinched. But Sujin only stroked her head. “Youngster, you shouldn’t be so rude to people.”
“Like you were to Lim Jukyung?” Sujin’s face hardened as the girl taunted, “What? You guys are friends now? Who would buy that bullshit? People are you are such trash. You go around flaunting your beauty, seducing our idols. Trash like you doesn’t belong here.”
“Yah, stop it!” The girl’s friends warned from behind.
“Chaeri, you’ll get into trouble.”
Chaeri didn’t listen. “Leave! I don’t want people like you here.” She told Sujin.
It was one thing to be nice. It was quite another to be weak. And Kang Sujin was anything but weak. “You want me to leave?” Sujin said. “Then make me.” Sujin stood her ground, glaring at the girl.
Chaeri smiled. “Okay.” She reached over to the half finished can of soda that Han Seojun had left on the table and poured it over Sujin.
Sujin closed her eyes to calm herself. Don’t engage Kang Sujin.
“Here you go, b****.”
Alright, screw it.
Sujin’s eyes popped open enraged. “What did you just call me? B****?” She grabbed Chaeri’s hair and pulled.
Chaeri screamed, “Yah! What are you doing?”
“I was going easy on you since you’re a teenager. But now I see you need to be taught a lesson.” Sujin kept her grip firmly on the Chaeri hair as the girl struggled to break free. “Listen carefully. Just because someone has allegedly done something wrong doesn’t mean you get to take justice in your hands. If you see something wrong, you speak up about it. If it’s happening in front of you, you stop it. But you don’t go around harassing someone without even understanding the full story, arachi? If I’m a bully, then go tell the police and have them investigate. Calling me names and bothering me only makes you another bully, not an avenger.”
Sujin let go. Chaeri ran and cowered by her friends who looked at Sujin in fear.
“Now get out of my sight. And don’t let me see you girls again.”
The girls ran away as Sujin watched. She didn’t enjoy what had just happened. It left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Was I too harsh?
“Remind me never to piss you off again.” Han Seojun came to stand by her.
“Mwo-ya, were you watching? How long were you here.”
“I came out when I saw you grabbing that girl’s hair.”
Sujin frowned in worry. “I wasn’t—”
“I know.” Seojun came forward, eyeing her head. “I heard the speech. Did they do this?” He pointed to her wet hair.
“Ugh. Yeah.” Sujin groaned.
“Let’s go inside. You can clean up.”
Sujin used the convenience store bathroom to wash out the soda from her hair. She dried off with some paper towels but her head looked like a mess when she was done. She tried to smoothen it down but then it stuck to her face weirdly.
In the store, Han Seojun was signing an autograph for the store clerk. “Ya, gimme that.” Sujin came up behind him and took his cap off from him, putting it on herself. Han Seojun didn’t bat an eye lash.
“Here you go.” He told the clerk.
“Thank you. My girlfriend will really appreciate it.” The clerk beamed.
The convenience store entrance rang as they exited.
“You can keep that cap.” Seojun told Sujin.
“Ah really?”
“Yah! Are you the one who harassed my girlfriend?”
Seojun and Sujin turned. The high schooler, Chaeri, was standing there with four hulking boys, all looking like miscreants with their mean faces and unkempt clothing. They seemed older than high school kids, more like college students. The girl’s friends were notably missing. It was just her and the four thugs.
“Han Seojun,” Sujin whispered, “you leave.”
“No.” He said casually, yet firmly.
“You could get into another scandal, you idiot!” Sujin hissed.
“No.”
Sujin clenched her jaw. “Listen to me, you dolt. You’ll—”
“Omo! Is that Han Seojun?” Chaeri was staring, eyes wide in wonder. “It is! Oh my God, Oppa! Is that you? Why are you here?” Chaeri’s eyes passed between Seojun and Sujin. “Oppa, are you actually dating this girl?” She asked, sounding betrayed.
“You know this guy?” Chaeri’s boyfriend asked.
“He’s Han Seojun. He’s an idol.”
“He’s not with me.” Sujin declared as she walked up to the group, putting distance between her and Seojun. “We just coincidentally met inside.” She stood resolutely with her shoulders squared, not showing an ounce of fear.
Seojun walked up and stood Sujin. “I am with her. So what? You got a problem?” He asked Chaeri.
Sujin’s face contorted in exasperation. Han Seojun, you idiot!
The boyfriend looked amused at the situation. “Aaah. I see now. You think that just because your boyfriend is a big shot idol that you can do whatever you want?”
“That’s not what happened. Your girlfriend here harassed me first.” Sujin explained coolly.
“Oppa, she’s lying.” The girl said. “I was just walking by and she started pulling my hair.”
Sujin scoffed. “What an obvious lie. You gonna believe that?”
“I don’t see why I have to believe you.” The boyfriend replied.
“Why would I attack her without any reason?”
“Oppa, she did it because I was a fan of Han Seojun.” Chaeri looked at Seojun, “Aren’t you going to defend your fans?”
Seojun tilted his head. “My fans don’t go around harassing my friends.”
Chaeri’s mouth fell open. “What?”
“Also, no real fan would damage their idol’s reputation but causing a scene like this. Don’t you know it reflects badly on me when say I have toxic fans?”
Chaeri’s face contorted in anger. Sujin gulped, “Han Seojun, shut up.”
“Oppa, you’re going to just let these people treat me this way?” Chaeri pulled at her boyfriend’s arm.
The boyfriend leaned down to Sujin, “Listen here ahjumma, you hurt my girlfriend. That action is going to come with consequences.”
Seojun grabbed the boy’s collar, pushing him away from Sujin. “You can’t call yourself a man if you threaten women like this.”
The boyfriend laughed, before he went in for the punch. Seojun dodged it and kicked the guy in the chest, sending him backwards. Chaeri squealed and jumped to the side. The other three thugs went for Seojun and Sujin.
Sujin brought one of them down with a spin kick in the face. The other two boys were on Seojun. Sujin kicked one of them away and dragged him further by his hair.
It was difficult for Sujin and Seojun to keep up. The thugs, while young, were still huge and more in number. Sujin took her time to size up her opponents, hitting and dodging accordingly. Seojun fought in his typical instinctive manner, taking many hits but also delivering his own.
One of the boys had Seojun backed up in the corner and by this time the boyfriend had gotten back up. Seojun didn’t see the boyfriend, but Sujin did. The boyfriend picked up a stick lying on the corner of the street by the garbage cans. Two thugs were on Seojun now, holding him back as the boyfriend raised the stick, aiming to swing it right in Seojun’s face.
In that moment, Sujin forgot all about fighting with strategy. All she could think of was saving Han Seojun. She ran into the boyfriend, taking him down with her entire body. She kicked him in the groin, causing so much pain that the boy’s face became red. Han Seojun, and the two thugs holding him back, were staring at her speechless.
“I won’t let you hit his face.” She told the boyfriend. Then, giving Seojun a sideways look she added, “It’s a hot commodity.”
Seojun took this opening to break free and kick the thugs away. Sujin swung the stick and hit one of them in the back. The last one standing decided to be smart and ran away.
Seojun and Sujin looked at each other, and the high schoolers lying on the ground, moaning in pain. They had won and it felt good. Seojun looked at something behind Sujin. She followed his line of sight and found Chaeri standing by the corner, recording everything on her phone.
Sujin walked up to her. “Give it while I’m being nice.”
“I’m recording this too you know.” Chaeri said insolently.
Sujin smiled. Then spun around to kick Chaeri, except she missed her face by an inch.
“Ah, how sad. I missed.”
Chaeri just stood, frozen in place. Seojun walked up, pulled the phone from her hand and smashed it to the ground.
“Am I going to hear about this online?” It was a rhetorical question. Said with such authority, in that deep angry baritone, that even Sujin felt intimidated.
Chaeri just shook her head.
“Good. Lets go, Kang Sujin.” Seojun led Sujin away by her arm.
“So, like I said. Remind me never to piss you off again.” Seojun repeated. Sujin chuckled. “Also…” Seojun rubbed the back of his head, “Thanks… for saving me back there.”
“Don’t mention it. After all, we have to protect his hot commodity.” Sujin teased. Instead of getting annoyed like she expected him to, Han Seojun smirked.
“You know I never said my face was a hot commodity. I only said it was a precious commodity.” Sujin stopped in her tracks as she realized he was right. But Seojun kept on walking smugly. “I guess you think I’m hot.” He called back to her.
“No way!” Sujin yelled as she ran after him. “No way!”
ii.
Things had changed between Kang Sujin and Han Seojun. They were way past enmity now. In fact, Seojun couldn’t even remember the hate he used to have for her. They were also past the courteous co-existence they had sustained for a brief period where they acted polite and nice to one another which was more a sign of them being strangers than anything else.
Now Han Seojun and Kang Sujin really could say that they were friends. Hanging out together had become a weekly ritual. Almost always, it was prompted by something Jukyung or Suho did.
The night of Suho’s and Jukyung’s the engagement party, hosted by Suho’s father, they went to karaoke to sing their hearts out. As expected, Seojun was the better singer. But Sujin wasn’t exactly bad herself. Her song choices were about self-empowerment and having fun. Seojun chose soft, ballads that were clearly about Jukyung.
“One day, my songs will be on a karaoke machine too.” Seojun had wished as they had walked back home.
“And then I will sing it.” Sujin encouraged.
“And ruin it.”
Sujin punched him in the shoulder.
The time Suho and Jukyung announced their wedding on Jukyung’s channel, they went to an arcade. Of course, Sujin beat Seojun at every game.
“Ah-nee, how do you know how to play? All I ever saw you doing in school was study.”
“Just accept it, Han Seojun. I’m better than you.”
“At bragging maybe.”
The time Jukyung got drunk and went around hugging Han Seojun thinking he was Suho, they went for a drive on his bike.
Sujin had insisted that he teach her how to ride it.
“Aren’t you afraid?” Seojun remebered how terrified Jukyung had been when she first rode with him.
“Why would I be?” Sujin asked, confused.
She took to the bike quickly and soon was riding them both around the city without Seojun’s guidance.
“Not too bad, Kang Sujin.” Seojun was impressed. Sujin grinned triumphantly.
As per their agreement, the two looked out for each other when they were with the group, making sure their feelings weren’t too apparent. At the night of the engagement party, Sujin kept covering for Seojun when he didn’t participate in conversations as much as he usually did. She would answer for him or change the subject. On the same night, Seojun had been the one to sneak Sujin away when she was on the verge of breaking into tears when the couple was cutting the cake. No one had noticed the two heart broken friends that night. All eyes had been on Jukyung and Suho.
On the same night that Jukyung had gotten drunk, Han Seojun had been the one to distract Suah when she kept pushing Jukyung into dating a guy she knew from work. And on a separate occasion, when the group was out for dinner and had run into Suho’s father, Seojun had kept a firm hand on Sujin’s back when Lee Joheon spoke at length on how sad he was about her parents’ divorce.
As uncanny as it seemed, it was undeniable. Han Seojun and Kang Sujin were friends now. Oddly enough, no one seemed to have picked up on their closeness, despite the fact that they never hid it from anyone. Sujin mentioned that Seojun had taught her how to ride his bike but the statement went unnoticed for its inclusion of Han Seojun. All Suah and Jukyung cared about was how dangerous it was to drive bikes.
“Han Seojun! Stop being a bad influence on Sujin!” Jukyung had scolded.
“What did I do? She’s the one who wanted to learn. And she’s not so innocent either. Just ask her about how she beat me in jiujitsu.” Seojun had pointed a finger at her.
“You know Jiujitsu?” Suho had asked, ignoring the part about her beating Seojun.
“Yeah. We should spar sometime.”
And so things went on and Jukyung’s and Suho’s wedding date inched closer and closer. But Sujin felt nothing had really improved with her feelings about Suho.
“We should really get to the therapy part one of these days.” Sujin casually said over a cup of coffee. This time, they had opted for a quiet meeting in a café.
Seojun considered her request. “What should we talk about?”
They both drew a blank, neither able to come up with a good starting point. Their feelings were so complicated and tangled that neither knew were to start unraveling.
Sujin raised a hand, fingers spread out wide. “Five questions.” She said, and with each word she lowered a finger, “Who, What, When, Where and Why.” She said in English.
“What’s that?”
“Its how you gather basic information. You ask yourself these questions.” Sujin explained, translating in Korean, “Who is it? What is it? When was it? and Why was it?”
Seojun nodded. “Okay. You first.”
“Hmm… We can skip the Who since we already know who it is. So, what is it that I like about Lee Suho? Hmm…” Sujin had to think for a minute.
The first thing that popped into her mind was her father. She and Suho both had troubled relationships with their fathers and at the time, Sujin had felt that Suho could understand her better because because of this. But she couldn’t tell Han Seojun that. Having a dysfunctional family made her feel like a freak. She didn’t need Han Seojun knowing about her private problems, even if they were friends.
So instead of the truth, she said, “He was cool,”
Seojun scoffed. “Kang Sujin were you that shallow?”
Sujin looked at him flatly. “It wasn’t just that! It was… well, he was always cold to everyone else. But he still treated me better.” Sujin looked at her hands, nervously playing with her thumbs. “I guess I liked how he was with me. And I liked that he wasn’t shallow like most boys are. ”
That answer seemed more acceptable to Seojun. “I don’t think I can distill my feelings to just a couple of traits. I like everything about Lim Jukyung. The way she smiles, the way she ties up her hair, how kind and caring she is with everyone… she just has this warmth about her that just… draws you in.”
“I know what you mean.” Sujin agreed. But there was a little part of her that resented Seojun’s compliments of Jukyung. Wasn’t she kind and caring too? Didn’t she have any warmth?
Probably not. Her father’s voice said. Sujin pushed it away.
“When did you first start liking Lee Suho?” Seojun asked.
Sujin thought for a minute. “I don’t know. I just know that when I noticed I liked him, it felt like I had always liked him.” She sat up straight. “What about you? When did you start liking Jukyung?”
After a pause he replied, “When I started to get to know her. I can’t say exactly when… But I noticed my heart would act weird after she started teasing me about my underwear--”
“Say what now? What underwear?” Sujin perked up. It was at this moment that Han Seojun knew, that he had messed up. He could feel himself get red in the face.
“It was nothing. What I meant was—”
“Nononono, no. Han Seojun, you’re not getting out of this one. Tell me. What underwear?”
Seojun crossed his arms, “I’m not saying a word.”
Their therapy session had ended there. Sujin tried again and again to get Seojun to reveal what the underwear incident was but he kept his silence. He would die before he ever told anyone about how Jukyung had seen him dancing around in his cheetah print underwear.
Han Seojun still experienced PTSD when he heard “Okey Dokey yo!” from anywhere.
iii.
Seojun didn’t know how the fight began. They had met up for dinner after Sujin got off from work. She had taken up various part time jobs to pay the bills. With her being busy throughout the day, dinner was the only time they could meet.
They had been talking about Suho and Jukyung. Seojun normally danced around the topic of what Sujin had done back in high school now that they were friends. But this time she had brought it up herself.
“Do you remember that picture I took of you?”
“Yeah.” Seojun still remembered how flatly she had said You look cool. He had almost admired her audacity back then, and he did so more now.
“I traded it to get the info on Jukyung.” She admitted quietly.
“Ah, even back then my face was such a hot commodity.” Seojun said smugly.
Sujin made a face at him.
They joked about the past, about how Han Seojun hadn’t changed since then, about how Sujin had changed so much. Then, as they walked towards Sujin’s apartment, they got into the serious stuff. About how Sujin just disappeared after the truth about her was revealed, about how Seojun was right that she had only destroyed herself, and no one else.
“I wish I hadn’t done all that. Looking back, I want to kick myself.” Sujin had said.
“You should have shared, about what you were going through. Suah and Jukyung would have understood. I mean, having your father treat you the way he did… it must have made everything harder to deal with. Looking back, I might have acted better too, even helped y--”
Seojun suddenly noticed that Sujin wasn’t with him. She had stopped in her tracks and was glaring at him but Seojun couldn’t understand why.
“W-what do you mean my father’s treatment?” Sujin asked icily, her face was unreadable.
“Well… didn’t he used to beat you and pressure you for—”
“Shut up! Just shut up, Han Seojun!” Sujin suddenly freaked out. And it scared Seojun.
“What’s wrong?” He asked with concern. He moved towards her, but she moved back.
She looked at him coldly. “Who the hell told you about this? Was it Suho? It was Suho, wasn’t it? No one else knows besides him.”
Seojun hesitated. “Actually... that time when I met your mom—”
Sujin blinked rapidly. “So you’re saying that you’ve known about this all this time?”
“Kang Sujin, calm down its not a—”
Sujin spoke through clenched teeth, “What’s not a big deal? The fact that my family is broken or the fact that my father was an abusive asshole? What exactly about it is not a big deal, Han Seojun?”
Seojun was thoroughly confused now. “Sujin-ah.” he called out to her but she kept moving back with every step he took towards her. She was shaking quite visibly.
“Did you have fun, thinking I was so tragic and damaged? Did you have fun pitying me all this time? Did you—” Sujin’s eyes went wide as if she hit a realization. “Ya Han Seojun… did you become friends with me because you pitied me?” She said the word with such acidity that Seojun flinched.
It would be a lie to say it hadn’t influenced his opinion of her. But it wasn’t the only reason they were friends. Surely Sujin had to understand that.
“Sujin-ah—”
“It’s true, isn’t it?” Sujin’s lip quivered. “All this time, you’ve only treated me decently because you thought I was some tragic case—”
“You know that’s not true.” Seojun protested but Sujin wasn’t listening.
“—and here I was thinking we were actually friends. Han Seojun, would you have even been nice to me if you hadn’t known?”
“Does that matter?” Seojun asked, frustrated, “We’re friends now, aren’t we?”
That had been the wrong thing to say. Sujin’s eyes flamed as she suddenly switched. Gone was the shaking and the freaked out look. Sujin was now very calm and cold; calculating in her movements. She gave a sarcastic smile. “Ya Han Seojun. Do you know? I pity you too.”
“What?”
“Pathetically liking someone for so long, whining like a boy over everything, acting all childish, you think that makes you attractive?”
“Ya, Kang Sujin—” Seojun warned.
“I bet Jukyung pities you too.” Sujin stalked up to Seojun. “Ah, that loser, Han Seojun, until when is he going to be hung up on me? I bet that’s what she thinks every time she sees you.”
They glared at each other for the longest time. Maybe too long.
“Kang Sujin… you are seriously messed up.” Was all Seojun said before he walked away; from Sujin and the entire situation. Sujin’s eyes filled with tears which she furiously blinked away.
If Sujin had been more like Jukyung, she would have dealt with this situation maturely. Lim Kukyung would have faced her emotions and not taken Seojun’s sympathy as pity. Lim Jukyung would have been up front about how she felt and not pushed Seojun away. Lim Jukyung would have been better.
But Kang Sujin was not Lim Jukyung. Kang Sujin was a messed up girl.
iv.
“Has anyone heard from Sujin recently?” Jukyung asked the group. They were all gathered for lunch, all except Seojun and Sujin, both of whom had been absent these past couple of get-togethers.
“Wae? Has something happened?” Suah asked.
“Not really. But she hasn’t been replying as much to my texts.” Jukyung pouted.
“You know what Kang Su is like. She’s rarely online. Plus, she’s working all these jobs now.”
“She always replies to me though,” Jukyung muttered to herself as she looked at her chat with Sujin. The one Sujin hadn’t responded to since four days.
“Is Seojun not coming today either?” Taehoon asked Suho.
“Don’t know. He’s so busy with brand practice these days that he barely replies to me.”
“Guys! Sorry I’m late!” Sujin rushed towards the group.
“Kang Su!” Jukyung and Suah welcomed her.
“We were afraid you wouldn’t show up again.” Jukyung said, putting her arm through Sujin’s.
“Kang Su-ya,” Suah said, playfully nudging Sujin’s shoulder, “you’re all dressed up. Did you just come back from a date?” Indeed Sujin was wearing a sleek black pant suit with full makeup on.
“Who went on a date?” Seojun arrived but stopped when he saw Sujin. Sujin held her breath as she waited for him to say something.
“Our Kang Su.” Suah responded. Seojun just flicked a brow but betrayed no emotion. He took a seat besides Suho.
“Ya! It wasn’t a date. I just came back from an interview.” She grinned.
“Ooh! How did it go?”
Sujin kept her silence for a second before she finally burst with excitement, “I got it!” The girls squealed at the good news. “Its at this non-profit that works with providing clean water to under-developed countries.” She showed everyone the website for the company and the work that they did on her phone.
Everyone congratulated Sujin on her accomplishment. Even Seojun gave her a “Congratulations.” To which she thanked him.
“I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t think you’d come.” Suho told Seojun.
He wasn’t going to. But he had heard that Sujin hadn’t been present either and he had figured it would be okay for him to join everyone if she wasn’t there.
She should have been an actress, Seojun thought as he watched Sujin behave like nothing was wrong.
The conversation over lunch flowed easily as it usually did. Everyone laughed, joked and shared about what had happened since they last met. No one seemed to notice that Seojun and Sujin were not speaking directly to each other, even once. They only spoke to everyone else.
It was only when Seojun was leaving the men’s room that he found Sujin waiting for him and jumped in surprise.
“Ah, ggam-jjak-ee-ya!” Seojun held his chest in shock.
“Aww, the great Han Seojun get’s scared?”
“Only when confronted by pervert girls who stalk boys outside the washrooms.”
Sujin narrowed her eyes. “Shut up! I wasn’t stalking. I was only waiting to talk to you.”
“That’s equally worrying. What do you want?” He said dismissively.
Sujin handed him a keychain. It was his own face made in cartoon form. “Here. I know how much you love seeing yourself.”
“What’s this for?”
Sujin cleared her throat. “An apology. Mianhae, Han Seojun. Last time—”
“I don’t want to hear it.” He handed the keychain back to Sujin. She grabbed his arm as he tried to leave.
“At least hear me out.”
“No.” Seojun pushed her arm away.
Sujin’s lips tightened. She grabbed Seojun’s arm again, pulling him with brute strength. “Will you just listen to me you big baby! I’m trying to apologize.” She glared at him.
“Why? I thought you hated me.”
Sujin’s face softened. “I don’t hate you, Han Seojun.” She let go of his arm. “That time… when you started talking about my father, I just lost it. I haven’t actually told anybody about what he did to me. Not even Suah and Jukyung know. All they know is that he was tough on me.”
“Lee Suho knows.” Seojun accused.
“He figured it out on his own. I never actually told him. How could I?” Sujin felt ridiculous admitting it out loud, “How could I tell him that I don’t know what a happy family looks like? I see Jukyung with her dad and Suah with hers and how they have such good relationships, and I can’t imagine being the same way with my father. And that makes me feel like a freak. People already give me weird looks because of my parents’ divorce. If they knew about my father, they’d think that I was crazy… and maybe I am, who knows.”
Seojun softened. “You’re not crazy, Sujin-ah.”
There it was, that pity on Han Seojun’s face. Sujin hated it but she had come today to this lunch only to apologize to him and that is what she was going to do.
“I am, Han Seojun. Why else would I have said all of those mean things?” Sujin’s voice shook. Seojun moved to hug her but she stepped away. Him comforting her would be too much, she would fall to pieces if he did. She had to hold herself together, on her own. “I’m sorry Han Seojun. I didn’t mean any of it. Not a single word.”
Seojun nodded. “I know.” He felt like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders and only then did he notice how bothered he really had been about their fight.
“You guys not coming?” Suho asked as he passed by. Seojun and Sujin straightened themselves up and joined the others.
They found the girls giggling at something on Jukyung’s phone.
“What’s funny?”
“Ya Kang Sujin, your nose looks so big in this!” Suah commented. Jukyung turned the phone to Sujin. It was the video of the live event they had done.
“Aish!” Sujin said disapprovingly. “I look so weird in this video.”
Suho and Taehoon leaned over and laughed too as Sujin robotically read off the comments in the video.
“Maybe we can go Seojun’s makeup next.” Jukyung suggested.
“I’m a celebrity, Lim Jukyung.” He said haughtily, pulling the lapels of his jacket, “You can’t just have me on any show.”
Sujin wrinkled her nose at Seojun, “This coming from a guy who didn’t even know the difference between ppt and fitting.”
“That never happened!” Seojun contested. Everyone else laughed.
“Sujin-ah. Maybe I can have you on as a guest next time.” Jukyung suggested.
“Sure.” Sujin put her arm around Jukyung and whispered audibly, “And let’s do it when Suho isn’t around.” The girls winked to each other.
Suho smacked Sujin’s hand away from Jukyung’s shoulder. “Keep your hands off my girlfriend.”
“Sure. But I can’t guarantee she’ll keep her hands off me.” Sujin grinned evilly. Suho’s wide eyed, worried, expression made Jukyung laugh.
v.
Han Seojun fell on his face for the umpteenth time as he tried to hit the ball that Sujin had served. He was lucky they were all on the beach and his face was hitting soft sand instead of concrete.
“Ya, who’s idea was it to play volleyball?” Seojun asked as he brushed himself off.
“Quit being a sore loser, Han Seo!” Sujin called from the girl’s side of the net.
“Just you watch. I will make you eat your words!”
Of course, the boys lost. Suho was too distracted by Jukyung. Taehoon played bad on purpose because Suah said she wanted to win. Chorong was a bad at playing in general. The only two people taking this seriously were Han Seojun and Kang Sujin who ran around covering up for their team mates, as if their lives depended on winning. Sujin in particular refused to let Seojun get a single goal.
“You must really hate Han Seojun, huh?” Suah asked once the game was over.
“No. I just don’t like to lose.”
“Look at her, it’s like she’s going to war.” Jukyung laughed at the fire in Sujin’s eyes.
“Did you piss Kang Sujin off?” Taehoon was asking Seojun on the other side as the boys drank water.
“Nah, she’s just like that in general.” Seojun panted, still exhausted from the game.
A crowd of girls had gathered around their little game, drawn towards Suho and Seojun playing. They had cheered the boys on during the game and now they gravitated towards the two, hoping to get a chance to talk to them.
Suho had brushed them off in his usual rude manner. Seojun had been obliging, especially when they recognized who he was. He patiently signed autographs but couldn’t take pictures since his company didn’t allow them.
“Han Seojun, we have to get back.” Suah had come over to inform him.
“Yeah, just one minute.” The fans kept coming and coming. Seojun realized that maybe he should tell them he has to go. But as much as he wanted, he couldn’t say no to the hopeful girls who had liked the music that he made and had decided his signature was worth something.
“Han Seojun hurry up! We have to move!” Jukyung called.
“Just a second!”
Suho came over and rudely pushed through the crowd of girls. “Yah! Don’t be like that to my fans.” He tried dragging Seojun away but Seojun dodged him and the girls quickly pushed him back.
“Yah! Haven’t you girls had enough?!” Sujin’s voice boomed over the crowd, terrifying everyone. “And you girls over there!” Sujin pointed, “I saw you two return twice! You’re planning on selling those autographs, aren’t you?”
“Ya Kang Sujin—” Seojun began to protest.
“Don’t piss me off.” Sujin warned, “Our trip isn’t a place for you to have fan meetings.” She grabbed Seojun’s wrist and dragged him away before he could object.
The fangirls whispered to each other angrily, but none dared stand in Sujin’s way as she took Seojun away from them.
“Mwo-ya.”
“Who is that girl?”
“What the hell?”
“Come on, I’m hungry. We should get back to the resort.” Suho said when Seojun had joined them. He and Taehoon picked up their things and loaded them in their car.
At a distance, near a food cart, stood Kim Chorong. He watched as everyone got ready to leave. He could see Suah and Jukyung clinging to their boyfriends, his own posse goofing around and Han Seojun laughing and joking with his arm around Suho.
“Did you see how all those girls swarmed around me?” Seojun asked Jukyung. “Ya, aren’t you lucky to have a guy like me as your friend?”
“What lucky? You wasted all our time!” Jukyung scolded.
“Ah, I just can’t turn off my charms.”
Sujin scoffed, pulling a disgusted face, “Where? Where are these charms?” She put her hand over her eyes and mimicked searching.
“Right here!” Seojun replied, puffing his chest. “See how charming I am!”
“As charming as a sea louse maybe.”
“Yah!” The group laughed as Seojun pointed accusingly at Sujin.
Chorong had watched as Seojun pointed at Sujin in a huff while everyone laughed. It was the liveliest that Chorong had ever seen Han Seojun be.
“Chagi, what are you doing here all alone?” Chorong’s girlfriend came up to him.
“Geunyang.” Chorong put his arm around his girlfriend and walked towards the group.
They all went back to their resort, a beautiful location that Suho had paid for as this was the first time that everyone was going together since high school. They were all given shared rooms. Naturally, Chorong shared his with Seojun.
“Han Seojun,” Chorong began as Seojun changed out of his shirt, “I’m really happy for you.”
“Huh? What for?”
“You always used to complain about hanging out with everyone, but I don’t hear you do that anymore.” Chorong said sentimentally.
Seojun blinked. “Kim Chorong did you drink too much sea water? What kind of a weird thing is that to say?”
Chorong came up and hugged the half-naked Seojun, who balked at the gesture. “What the hell?!”
“Do you know how worried I was about you?” Chorong, with his enormous size, did not notice how Han Seojun desperately struggled to break free from his grip.
“Ya! You pervert, lemme go!”
“Ah-nee, look at you now. You said you would never go on an overnight trip with Suho and Jukyung, and yet here you are.”
Seojun stopped struggling. “What?”
It was odd that out of all people, Chorong had been the one to notice. “I’m so happy for you Han Seojun. Th—”
“Han Seojun, Jukyung’s asking if you would—whatthehell?” Sujin burst in and went still when she saw a half dressed Seojun being held by a sentimental looking Chorong.
Sujin betrayed no emotion. Just wordlessly took out her phone and promptly snapped a photo.
Han Seojun tried to push Chorong away, “No! Ya! Don’t you dare!”
“Jukyung is asking if you will sing songs for us. Quickly get dressed and come over, okay?” Sujin went out and Seojun caught a glimpse of her evil smile as she did.
“Yah! Kim Chorong!” Seojun shouted as Chorong finally let him go.
Of course, Seojun would perform. He always did when Jukyung asked. The group clapped at the end of the first song but the only reaction Seojun cared for was Jukyung. As usual, he found her engrossed with Lee Suho instead of him. Seojun couldn’t help but stare at the two.
“You sounded good.” Sujin came out of nowhere, blocking his view of Jukyung. Seojun knew, she was doing it on purpose.
“Too obvious?” He asked quietly.
“Too obvious. Suah almost noticed.” Sujin moved to block Suah’s line of vision to Seojun’s face.
“Thanks, I owe you one.” Seojun said.
“Pay me back with a song then.” Sujin rolled on her heels.
“Nope. Only Jukyung gets to request songs.”
She pfft-ed through her lips, “Mwo-ya. How stingy.” She turned on her heels.
“What song?” Seojun asked. Sujin smiled and turned back.
“You Were Beautiful by Day6.”
“Why not something by my band?” Seojun sounded almost insulted.
“I like Day6 better.” Sujin teased.
“I expected better taste from you, Kang Sujin.” Seojun adjusted the tuning of his guitar, testing the chords.
“Its my goodbye.” Sujin explained. “I’m moving on from Lee Suho.”
“Haven’t I heard that before?” Seojun said skeptically.
“Its for real this time.” Sujin said. Seojun looked up at her determined face.
“You’re serious.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah. It’s been long enough now. This is my way of making it official. So do a good job, okay?” Sujin walked away.
“I bet I’ll sing it better!” Seojun called after her.
“We’ll see!”
She hadn’t looked at Suho even once during his performance. But then, she hadn’t looked at anyone, just stared out the window. By the end she was tearing up. Seojun saw Suho happen to look over at Sujin.
He’s going to see her cry.
Seojun began to play his guitar loudly and messily, “Yeppeosseo! Yeppeosseo! Neon neomu yeppeosseo!” Everyone winced as he sang, or rather shouted, at the wrong note. But the abrupt bad singing had its intended effect. Suho’s attention was on Han Seojun. It took a second for Sujin to get the message. She sat up straight and wiped her face.
“Han Seojun! Stop it!” Suah yelled and Seojun stopped. “Are you in a rock band?”
Sujin sent him a grateful smile.
“It’s a totally new style of singing. You guys don’t like?” Seojun asked.
“No!” Came the resounding response.
Sujin’s was the only voice that said. “Yes!”
Seojun pointed his guitar at Sujin, head tilted back. “Better than Day6?”
“Much better!” Sujin grinned.
vi.
“YES! I WIN! I WIN!” Seojun ran around the court, pumping his fist in the air as Kang Sujin stared with a flat face and her hands on her hips. After having lost at nearly everything to Kang Sujin, Han Seojun had finally discovered something she was bad at.
“Are you really that happy?” She said, her upper lip pulled up in disdain.
“Ya! How can someone be so bad at basketball? You didn’t score a single goal!” Seojun’s eyes were wide with pure joy, his cheeks uplifted in a wide smile.
“Stop making fun of me.” Sujin fumed. She hated losing.
“I mean, I’ve never seen anyone lose so bad!” He laughed while pointing at Sujin, relishing in her first defeat. He knew he was great at basketball, but he hadn’t expected Sujin to be that bad. Sujin looked away, puffing up her cheeks.
“Zero!” He made a circle from his finger and thumb, “You got zero! I’ve seen worse players score more on accident!”
“Ah shut up!” She stomped her foot, "I was just off my game!”
“Off your game? Wae? Was my handsome face too distracting for you?” Seojun expected Sujin to come after him with a flying kick, or a punch in the shoulder or even a pithy retort. What he didn’t expect was the deep blush that spread across her cheeks. She looked around, choosing to look anywhere but him.
“Oh my God, jinjja? You got distracted by my face?” Seojun moving to look at her face better.
“Ah-nee-godun!” Sujin yelled, dodging his gaze. “Who would get distracted by those mean eyes?”
“Oh, so it was my eyes?” Seojun purred.
“As if!”
“Ooooooh! You’re even blushing!” He teased.
“I’m red from playing!” Sujin spun around and walked away, leaving Seojun laughing.
“I’m joking! I’m joking! I know it’s not that. Come back Sujin-ah!”
They changed out of their sweaty gym clothes. Seojun was wearing his typical brown coat over black pants and a black turtle-neck sweater. He was ready before Sujin so he waited for her outside.
She came out all dolled up, her hair brushed straight, fresh makeup on her face. She had a white coat over a pretty, pale pink dress. Seojun didn’t understand why she had dressed up so brightly today. She even had heels on. Sujin had denied any special reason when he had asked before so he figured this was just a girl thing that he would never understand.
They had only walked a couple of steps when Sujin stopped in her tracks. “Ah, shit. I think I forgot my phone inside.”
“Why are you so distracted today? Where is your head, Kang Sujin?” Seojun complained. Sujin ran back inside to get her phone.
“Got it!” She came back running.
They walked over to the café that they frequented to the point where the barista recognized them now.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t go to the amusement park like you wanted.” Seojun apologized.
Sujin waved a hand dismissively, “Doesn’t matter. It was just a throw away suggestion.”
“But I understand why you wanted to go there instead.”
“You do?” Sujin asked with a tinge of worry.
“Its because you didn’t want me to find out you were bad at basketball, didn’t you?” Seojun snapped his fingers.
Sujin’s face fell. She clicked her tongue in disappointment.
“I’m right, aren’t I?”
Sujin replied sarcastically, “Ah, you’re totally right Han Seojun. I am so immature that all I care about is winning against a guy who thought Einstein was an appliance.”
“That happened only once.” Seojun defended.
A silence fell between them as their order came. Wordlessly, Sujin drank her iced latte and Seojun sipped his iced Americano. They often had these moments where neither would speak. But it was a comfortable silence. Sometimes Seojun and Sujin just enjoyed each other’s company without feeling the need to talk.
“You know we never finished our five questions.” Sujin reminded.
“Oh wow. That feels like it was so long ago.” Seojun leaned his head back as he tried to remember. “We covered the When. Where… I don’t remember where I fell in love with Jukyung. I think it was the moment in school where she was making fun of my…” Seojun cleared his throat.
“One of these days I’ll find out what that incident was, Han Seojun.” Sujin claimed.
“But not today.” He smiled. “So yeah, I think it was in school. What about you?”
“I think it was at the tutoring centers. I used to go there to study. My father had hit me, and I was in a strange place at that time. Suho comforted me and I guess that was when I realized I liked him. Now you, why did you like Lim Jukyung?”
Seojun leaned back and thought for the longest time. “She was… unexpected. I only started to pester her because I thought she was dating Suho.”
“Yeah, I remember that pestering part.”
Ya, Han Seojun are you a gangster?! Whiplash. Every time Seojun remembered that moment he felt whiplash.
“Since I hated Suho at that time, I had expected her to be hateful too. I thought she was just some vain, mindless girl but… she was the complete opposite. She was kind and thoughtful. She had a good heart and that made her beautiful to me. With or without makeup.” Seojun paused, then suddenly chuckled.
“What?”
“It’s funny. Before, I was never able to pin down what I liked about her. My feelings always seemed so complicated. But now that I see it… it feels so obvious.”
Seojun didn’t notice Sujin looking down at her hands, nervously rubbing them together, “Seojun, do you ever think you coul—” She spoke just when Seojun did.
“What did you like about Suho—oh sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“No, no.” Sujin shook her head. “I wasn’t saying anything. You were asking why I liked Lee Suho? Umm…” Sujin thought about it.
“Lee Suho, has never once liked a girl. Not before Jukyung, at least. There was a time when I was his only friend in school. And I thought… I misunderstood, his kindness as interest. I’ve always been pushed to get the number one position, you know? I always had to be number one. And when I thought that the guy that liked no one, liked me… it made me feel like I was number one, even if I ranked low on the grade sheet.” Sujin looked out the glass wall of the café, out on the street where people were walking, and it was slightly drizzling.
“When he found out that my father hit me, I thought he would see me as a crazy person, or pity me, or judge me for hating my father. But he never did. He only comforted me. He just… understood. And it was the first time that I felt that there was someone else who could understand me and understand what I was going through. That’s why I liked Lee Suho.”
Sujin looked back at Seojun. His mouth had shrunken into a small curve.
“But now he’s just annoying.” Sujin said in a lighter tone, “I mean, at a certain point you start hating people when they appear too perfect, isn’t that so?”
Seojun attempted a smile but it was weak.
“I’m happy now, Seojun-ah. I’m happy that I’m not with Suho. I think its for the best. If I think about it. Suho and I are too similar. We didn’t need more of the same. We needed someone who would help us change. Jukyung helped Suho do that. I could never have.”
“That’s a healthy way to look at it. Though I still think I’m perfect for Jukyung.” Seojun said smugly.
Sujin scoffed. “You think you’re perfect for every girl.”
“Where’s the lie?”
“Here! Yeogi! Here’s the lie.” Sujin tapped her finger on Seojun’s side of the table.
“Ah, Kang Sujin. You have no taste.” Seojun squinted his eyes at her in mock pity.
“And you have the IQ of a sloth.”
“I don’t need a high IQ. My greatest strength is my charm.”
“You keep mentioning this charm but I never see it.” Sujin put her hand over her eyes and began to search around.
They bickered in the café till the barista had to remind them, that they were being too loud. The banter continued as Seojun walked her all the way to her apartment. Throughout the way, Seojun could notice Sujin acting nervously; playing with the hem of her dress, combing her hair again and again, wiping her sweaty palms against her coat when she thought he wasn’t looking. He felt she had something to say to him but he didn’t want to ask what it was. If Kang Sujin had something to say, she said it.
Then, out of the blue, she swiveled on her heel to stand right in front of him.
“Ya, Han Seojun…”
“What?”
Sujin gulped. “Ah-nee-da. It’s nothing.” She turned her back to him.
“Whaaaat?” Seojun whined. “You’ve been fidgeting this while time so you definitely have something to say. What is it?”
“I forgot.” Sujin said, walking ahead, biting her lip.
“Mwo-ya…” Seojun let it go. She probably had more to say about Lee Suho and he wasn’t in any mood to hear it.
“Good night, Sujin-ah.” Seojun said when they reached her building.
“D-Do you wanna come up?” Sujin asked, stuttering a bit.
“Nah. I should go. I have an early day tomorrow.”
“Ah, okay.”
“Chalga.” Seojun waved goodbye. He had not walked more than ten steps when Sujin called out to him.
“Han Seojun!”
“What?”
Sujin hesitated. “B-Bye!”
Seojun chuckled. “Mwo-ya. She’s so weird.”
Sujin saw him wave and then leave. “If he turns, then I’ll tell him.” She told herself, trying to work up the courage to say what she had been meaning to the entire night.
But he never turned. Seojun just kept on walking and walking till he disappeared into the crowd.
“I like you, Han Seojun.” Sujin confessed to the wind. “I like you a lot.”
vii.
Han Seojun had to be absent for the whole month due to his idol duties. Sujin was glad for his absence. It had given her time to set her head straight about her feelings. She could still vividly remember, that last time she had ever confessed to a guy and that was back in high school. She clearly recalled how Suho had looked at her with disgust when she had said, or rather declared that he would have liked her if she had confessed first.
No. I wouldn’t have.
“Aish! What was I thinking saying all of those things?” She pulled at her hair as she rolled over in her bed. The humiliation of demanding that Suho break up with Jukyung, and ridiculously saying that she would toss Jukyung aside for him was too much. On top of that, she had tried to kiss Suho and he had pushed her away, repulsed. That in and of itself made her stomach ache with embarrassment.
She had a good heart and that made her beautiful to me. With or without makeup.
“Ah out of all people why him?! Why another guy who loves Lim Jukyung?! What the hell is wrong with me?!” Sujin groaned, rolling around in her bed over and over. Was she obsessed with men who were into Jukyung? Sujin felt frustrated with herself and wanted to throw her heart out.
She just has this warmth about her that just… draws you in.
Kind, caring, genuine, warm; none of those things describe me. Good heart? A single search on the internet would reveal just how good my heart is. Betraying my best friend and ruining all of my friendships in the process… who would say I have a good heart?
Sujin couldn’t compete with the shadow cast by Lim Jukyung. Even if Seojun did start to like her, Lim Jukyung would always be his first love. And just like always, Sujin would be second.
Sujin felt a familiar jealousy creep in; a resentment, a hate, an anger. It was history repeating itself. It was Lim Jukyung again. Why? Why did it have to be her? She and Suho had ten years worth of history between them and even that couldn’t compare to how he felt for Jukyung. Sujin and Seojun had only a year worth of friendship, a quarter of which included Seojun hating her.
It was a dark feeling. A heavy feeling. Like a weight in her chest. Sujin carried it with her whereever she went. She was supposed to meet everyone today. Seojun was suppsed to be back. She felt like she would be a coward if she didn’t go. But she felt like she would hate Jukyung more if she saw her. In the end she did go, and that weight in her chest went with her.
Jukyung was outside alone when Sujin saw her. She was finishing up a call.
Why? Why did it have to be her? Whywhywhy?
Sujin stopped in her tracks. No. She thought resolutely. She would not make the same mistake again. She would not let her feelings take over her judgement. She would not lose her friend again. As much as she loved Han Seojun, she loved her friendship with Lim Jukyung even more.
“Sujin-ah! You’re here-Oh?”
Sujin enveloped Jukyung in a massive hug, almost on the verge of tears. Jukyung hugged her back, confused.
“You know I love you, right?” Sujin said.
“Dangyunhaji! I love you too.” Jukyung hugged her tighter.
“I’ll always be a good friend to you, Jukyung-ah. I promise.” Sujin sniffed.
“Oh, are you crying?”
“No, there’s just something in my eye.” Sujin quickly wiped her face while still holding Jukyung so that she wouldn’t see her cry.
But before she could part, something pulled her collar from behind.
An irritated Suho stood, still tugging at her collar, “You’re not stealing my fiancée.”
“I bet she’d prefer me to you.”
“Okay! Okay! No fighting!” Jukyung declared a ceasefire.
“Are we fighting?” Seojun came up, putting his arm casually around Suho. “If it’s a fight, my bet’s on Sujin.”
“Wae. You think she’s better than me?” Suho asked.
“She’s scarier than you.”
“You traitor.” Suho released himself from Seojun’s side hug and went inside, grumbling. Jukyung followed after him.
“What was that about?” Seojun asked Sujin.
Sujin looked at him. His delicate, boyish features, his mean looking eyes that carried a surprising warmth. Her heartbeat wildly like a hummingbird. Sujin felt like she could spend an entire day just staring at his face. And then she felt it again, the quiet darkness that reminded her that she could never be with him. Quite suddenly, Sujin spun around and kicked Han Seojun in the back.
“Yah! What was that for?!” Seojun yelled.
“For being you.” She said and walked in, leaving Seojun bruised and confused.
viii.
You were pretty
The feeling of not wanting anything more
Moments that only you gave
Everything, everything
Everything has passed
But you were so pretty
Seojun hummed the song as he finalized the playlist for Jukyung’s wedding. Of course, he was going to perform at Jukyung’s wedding. It only made sense given his connection to Jukyung and Suho. The fact that Suho’s father was an important man at Move Entertainment also helped make things official.
A part of Han Seojun had wished that Jukyung hadn’t asked him. He was terrified of her wedding day; terrified of what his heart might do to him, terrified that he might feel compelled to run away with her in front of everyone.
Right now Seojun was calm. But it felt like it was the calm before the storm.
“Memories of me, have probably become, a thing of the past for you too, whatever I saw to you, it will all be something, in the past.”
“What’s that? New song?” His band mate asked when he overheard Seojun singing to himself.
“Hmm? No, its Day6.” The song had been stuck in his head since the day he had sung it for Sujin.
“You’re going to play a cover for your friend?”
“Yeah.” It would be his send off to Jukyung. Like Kang Sujin, Seojun was going to put an end to his chapter with Jukyung.
His bandmate put the song on their speaker. After the first verse he declared, “Yah! You can’t play a breakup song at a wedding.”
“Is it too obvious? I was hoping I could get away with it.” Seojun scratched the back of his head, stretching. He had been on his computer for hours now.
“Take it off. Choose something else.”
Seojun went back through his list of songs that he wanted to play. There was one other song that he had discovered recently by a disbanded group. He had really connected with the lyrics and it wasn’t a breakup song.
“How about this?” Seojun played it.
“Yeah, that’s perfect. Use that for the couple dance.” His bandmate said.
The anticipation of the pain kept Seojun up all night. He worried about how he might behave or what might happen. The next day he woke up grouchy and depressed.
“Woah! Why do you look like a ghost?” His bandmate had said when Seojun arrived that morning. He would be going to the wedding with his band, given that they were performing. This might have been easier if he had gone with his friends.
Don’t worry. I’m here if you need me. Sujin had texted that morning. But Seojun was done relying on Sujin like a crutch. He would deal with things on his own. He didn’t want Sujin to think that all he was good for was complaining about his broken heart.
Seojun waited for the pain to hit when they arrived at the location but it didn’t. The wedding planner helped Seojun and his band set up along with members of Seojun’s own staff. When everything was good to go, Seojun took his leave to meet Jukyung in the bridal room where everyone was taking pictures with her.
Here it comes. The pain. How would it feel? Would Seojun cry again?
“Seojun-ah! You’re here!” Jukyung said. She looked stunning in her beautiful white dress. “Hurry! Get in the picture!”
Everyone was there, already positioned for the shot. Seojun joined Sujin to the side. She was wearing a tasteful black pant suit that fit her well. She was wearing makeup which Seojun noticed looked similar to one of Jukyung’s tutorials.
“How does it feel?” He whispered to Sujin.
“Meh.” She replied. “You?”
It was strange. Seojun didn’t feel anything. “Oddly enough, I feel fine.” Surely he was in shock. The pain would hit any time soon.
It was a while before the pictures were done. Seojun’s cheeks felt sore from all of the smiling.
“Come with me to see Suho.” Sujin held up her arm and Seojun took it. She escorted him to where Suho was receiving his guests.
“Lee Su! Congratulations!” Sujin hugged him. Seojun did the same.
“Yah! I can’t believe we’re old enough to get married.” Seojun commented. Suho laughed.
Chorong and the Seojun Squad came over too, patting a blushing Suho on the back.
Seojun couldn’t help but think that Seyeon would have loved to have seen this. Sujin sensed his sadness and bumped shoulders with him.
“Okay?”
“Uh-huh.” Seojun smiled. Oddly enough he was. The pain still hadn’t hit.
A couple of girls walked up to him and asked him whether he really was the Han Seojun they were fans of.
“Of course!” Seojun puffed his chest and signed their autographs. He couldn’t see it but he could feel Sujin’s disgusted gaze on his back. When they were gone, Seojun turned to Sujin with an arrogant grin.
“Ah, I hope more people won’t bother me for my autograph.” He said in fake modesty.
“You should be grateful to have any fans.” She scoffed at him.
“Ugh. You’re too mean, Sujin-ah.” Seojun pouted.
“Ugh. You’re too childish, Seojun-ah.” Sujin mimicked him.
“Um. Excuse me.” A shy looking girl approached Seojun.
“Oh, you want an autograph too?” Seojun had a pen ready. Sujin gave him her most scathing side eye.
“Um actually—”
“You want a picture too? Sorry but I’m not allowed to take pictures at the moment. But I’ll sign if you like.”
The girl blushed deeply. “No, um—”
“Oh I get it.” Seojun swiped his hair dramatically from his forehead. “You’re here to confess to me. Well then I should let you know—”
“They’dlikeyoubackonstage!” The girl quickly blurted. “They’d like you to join your band. The ceremony is about to begin.”
Sujin laughed uproariously, that clear gurgle of pure, high pitched happiness that Seojun often enjoyed. But not in this moment. Not when his arrogance had been so efficiently deflated.
“Sure. I’ll be right there.” He mumbled to the girl who scurried away. Sujin was still laughing. “Found that funny, did you?” Seojun said, but it was not a reprimand. He liked that she was happy.
“Yes.” Sujin wiped away tears.
“You’re going to regret making fun of me when I perform.” He said, comically pulling the lapels of his jacket before leaving.
The lights dimmed as the wedding began. The Master of Ceremonies kicked things off, guiding everyone through everything. The band only played instrumental now. Suho entered first. Jukyung entered after him, looking every bit the ethereal angel that she was.
The couple exchanged their wows and drank the traditional wine. They then bowed to each other and bowed to their guests. Even in the darkness, Seojun could pick out Sujin. From the light glittering off her cheeks he could tell she was crying. He was too. But these were happy tears. His friends were about to make a new journey in their life together and he was happy for them. Truly. That pain he had dreaded over Jukyung’s wedding never did show up. Perhaps it never would. All he could feel was excitement for his closest friends.
Seojun had only one regret, that Seyeon hadn’t been able to see this moment. Seyeon’s was the one absence he always felt. In that moment, Han Seojun swore that he saw Seyeon among the guests. He saw his friend smile to Lee Suho’s and then to him. But Seojun blinked and Seyeon was gone but Seojun would keep that image of Seyeon similing with him forever.
Once the formal ceremony was over, it was time for the real party to begin. Seojun and his band turned up the performance, raising the mood of the room. People danced and sang along with them as they played so well that Sujin realized she could no longer make fun of Seojun when he bragged about his band.
The band then slowed things down, the set finally reaching the song Seojun was excited to play. He emptied his mind of everything but that one song and how it made him feel. This was for Suho and Jukyung and he was going to give his best performance tonight.
The bride and groom took center stage and swayed as Seojun played a softer version of Haru by a lesser known band, Royal Pirates. His rich baritone filled the room as everyone listened, entranced.
“You’re not a traditional beauty, but I like you, you who gets more attractive everyday.”
Seojun had never understood why people considered her attractive. To him, beauty had never mattered. But as he had gotten to know her, he found her to be more beautiful that how others described her.
“You don’t have a feminine voice, but the more I hear it, the more I get attached.”
He could hear her now, scolding him, yelling at him, throwing witty remarks at him that caused him whiplash, which was just his heart beating really fast.
“I can’t call you often, but I always miss you. Each minute, each second. Yeah-yeah.”
When he thought about it, they never really hung out as much as he did with Suho or his Seojun Squad. Most of the time Seojun was busy with work and so was she. But he still looked forward to the times he would meet her again.
“An entire day would pass just by looking at you. If I look at you, I can’t do anything else. Oooooooh. An entire day would pass just by thinking of you. I won’t be able to sleep at thoughts of you. But I can’t help it, an entire day would pass just because of you.”
Time did fly when they were together. Whether he liked her or hated her, he had to admit. She was never boring. Even through the mundane stuff, she always kept his attention. With her brows furrowed as she concentrated, her mouth turned like an ‘n’. He smiled whenever he thought about it.
“We have so many differences. But you fill up what I lack. No matter how much I see you, you’re always beautiful. No matter what anyone says.”
She was always ahead of him; so much smarter and stronger. Beating him at everything. Well, everything except—wait. He never played basketball with Jukyung.
Seojun missed a note. The guitar twanged awkwardly as he stopped singing. His hands were shaking but he didn’t have time to digest what had just happened. The moment only lasted a half-second; Seojun had recovered quickly and continued. No one paid attention to his little mess up, but his hands were still shaking, and his heart felt like it would burst.
He couldn’t think about it. But how couldn’t he? This song had been for her all along. He had been staring at Kang Sujin the entire time he was performing, without even knowing it.
“An entire day would pass just by looking at you. If I look at you, I can’t do anything else. Oooooooh. An entire day would pass just by thinking of you. I won’t be able to sleep at thoughts of you. But I can’t help it, an entire day would pass just because of you.”
The base guitarist for his band leaned over to him when the song was done.
“Thought you lost your footing for a bit there.”
“You noticed? Did anyone else did?”
“Nah, I think you’re safe. But are you okay? You’re shaking.”
“Nothing.” Seojun said, more to himself, “Its… its nothing.”
ix.
He never got to see her again at the wedding. The band was surrounded by fans once they finished so they had to be escorted out. Their food had been arranged separately for privacy. By the time Seojun got the chance to break free, Sujin, along with most of the guests, had left.
Which was good because he needed to settle himself before he said anything to anyone. He couldn’t make heads or tails of what had happened.
“I like Kang Sujin? Ridiculous. Totally, ridiculous. This would never happen!”
Be that as it may, his heart still acted strangely when he got a text from her asking if he was okay. She was worried about him since Jukyung and Suho were now married. He told her tersely that he was busy and couldn’t meet. Then threw his phone away when he realized he actually really wanted to meet her.
It was the first time that I felt that there was someone else who could understand me and understand what I was going through.
Seojun could still remember his irritation when Sujin had told him why she liked Lee Suho. He had resented the fact that yet another girl saw Lee Suho as perfect. How could Han Seojun ever compare to the perfectly perfect Lee Suho? He and Sujin had ten years between them and a shared tragedy with their fathers that Seojun didn’t have.
Ah-nee, can’t I be someone who understands? Can’t she see that I get her too?
“Ridiculous. Why would I want her to think I understand her? Ridiculous.”
If Han Seojun had to answer the What, When, Where and Why of his feelings, he would not be able to put it into words. His feelings were intense and complicated. Too complicated for even him to comprehend. Which is why the braincell that he shared with Suho decided that he must be mistaken and that he didn’t actually have any feelings for Sujin.
“Ah-ne-da. I must have been overwhelmed because of Jukyung. Yes, that must be it. It must be a defense mechanism. I’m only thinking about her to protect myself, because I’m still not over Jukyung.”
It made sense. She was the only other girl he was close to in his squad, and they had been hanging out together more than they used to. His heart must have just gotten confused for a moment. Yes, that was it and nothing more.
The group did not meet each other for a while. Suho and Jukyung had gone off to their honeymoon. Suah and Taehoon had their own things. Seojun only met up with Chorong and Co. but his heart was never in those meetings.
He wouldn’t meet up with her. She tried texting and calling but he always gave her an excuse.
Why did we start meeting so much in the first place? He hadn’t noticed when it had happened, but Sujin had become someone he had come to rely on and this he only noticed when he started avoiding her.
“Seojun, you’re not coming to the flower festival?” Chorong asked, shaking him out of his thoughts.
“Huh? What flower festival?”
“Ah-nee, where is your mind these days? You attend it every year! Did you forget?”
Oh right. Seojun always did like to see the flower exhibitions held once a year. He always got flowers for his mother and sister when he went. It may have seemed like a ridiculous hobby for a boy to be so interested in flowers. But Seojun unabashedly liked them and of course, Chorong and Co. were always there to go with him.
“Of course I’m going to attend. Wae?”
“Sujinnie was asking if she could tag along with us. Suah and Taehoon are not around so she has no one to go with.”
Sujinnie?! Seojun blinked rapidly. “Ya, since when are you and Kang Sujin close?”
“Waegurae? Aren’t we all friends with her now? Did something happen?”
Seojun put on a straight face, “Ah-nee!” He exclaimed in a pitch too high, “Nothing happened. I’m just surprised, as all.”
“Aigoo. Did you guys fight? Sujin did say you haven’t been replying to her texts recently.”
Seojun tried hiding his curiosity, “You’ve spoken to her?” He said, as nonchalantly as he could, which wasn’t nonchalant at all.
“Of course. We all had drinks yesterday.”
“What?! Why the hell did you guys meet her and not me?”
“Seojun, she did text you about it.” One of his friends pointed out.
“Yeah! And why are you acting so weird? Do you hate Kang Sujin again?” Chorong asked.
“Ya! Don’t hate her! We like her now!”
“Yes!” Half the group said together.
“Arasso! Arasso! Calm down.” Seojun waved at them to chill. It wasn’t as if he minded that Kang Sujin was hanging out with his friends. But he did feel a sense of betrayal that he didn’t know about it.
“So, how about it? Will you go?” Chorong asked.
The flower festival was an exhibition where all flower vendors came over to show off their best products. People looking for suppliers of flowers and the public in general could attend, buy flowers or just enjoy the various arrangements.
Seojun went with Chorong and the others. Sujin was there waiting for them.
“Ya Han Seojun! You’re alive!” She lit up when she saw him, punching him in the chest with a brutal force only she had.
“Yah! How could you hurt an idol like that?” Seojun rubbed his chest in pain.
“Oh, sorry. Did I hurt you?”
“Not at all!” Seojun said, “I’m a man. I don’t get hurt.”
“Pfft. Sure.” Sujin grinned.
They went through the various stalls that showcased the various beautiful flowers. The group seemed to have broken off. Chorong was led away by his girlfriend to take some pictures. The boys all banded around a strange, evil looking plant like school children. Seojun and Sujin seemed to have taken a track of their own.
“You don’t want to take pictures?” Seojun asked, pointing at Chorong and his girlfriend who were stopping at every stall.
“I don’t care for that sort of thing. Wae? You want me to take yours?”
“No. We should take on together.”
Seojun took out his phone and pulled Sujin closer, taking a selfie.
“Ya, you can’t even see the flowers.” Sujin complained.
“Yes, you can.” Seojun put a hand to his cheek. “Right here. I’m the flower.”
Sujin’s lip curled in disdain. “Ah, right.” She said dryly. Seojun laughed and she couldn’t help but smile too.
As a regular attendee, Seojun knew most of the repeat vendors there. He took Sujin around, introducing her to the people who knew him and showing her the various flowers he liked. Sujin listened to him go on at length about where the flowers came from and what they meant.
“You know the language of flowers?” Sujin asked, thinking back to the white tulips and the yellow roses he had gotten her way back when.
“Dangyunhaji! Every man should know flowers. How else will you impress the ladies?”
Sujin chuckled. “You know if being an idol doesn’t pan out, you can always be a florist.”
“I’m too pretty to be a florist. The flowers would all wither in shame.”
Sujin patted his head, sarcastically remarking, “Aigoo, our Seojun has suffered so much for being so good looking. It must have been so difficult, living like this.”
It felt nice being with Sujin again. Seojun felt oddly energetic; like he could run a mile and not break a sweat. He babbled about this and that and wondered if Sujin was getting bored. But she never was, she listened and nodded and responded when need be. Time flew by and before he knew it, they had finished going through the festival.
He pulled at the sleeve of her coat, “There’s something else you should see.”
In the back corner, hidden away from the main area were the small level vendors who could only afford the cheaper stalls. It was a street that led away from the festival. Only a couple of people were around.
“These people don’t earn that much because they’re always placed at the back. But they have the best flowers.”
Seojun introduced her to the people that were running the stall, all of whom he knew by name. Some of them gave Sujin flowers for free. She gratefully took them.
The day was almost ending, the slow sunset had begun. A lot petals had been shed. The street with these vendors was covered in these petals, making it look like a path made entirely of flowers.
“This is really beautiful, Seojun-ah.” Sujin said, admiring the street.
“Yeah.” Seojun said, looking at her.
One of the stalls was filled entirely with tulips. Bright yellow owns, pretty pink ones, eccentric multi-colored ones. Seojun pulled out a purple one and gave it to Sujin.
“Here you go, Princess.” Purple tulips represented regality. Sujin smiled.
“Aaand…” Seojun’s picked out a red one. “Here.” He said. Then quickly-— a little too quickly— he added. “Ah-Because it matches your coat.” He pointed at Sujin’s red coat.
Sujin looked at the flower, then back at him. But said nothing.
They strolled over to a bridge that overlooked the entire festival. The descending sun had set everything in a warm glow. The air smelled sweet with all of the flowers. Petals flew in the air.
“Here.” Sujin handed the tulips back to Seojun.
“Why? They’re for you.”
Sujin smiled. “Phabo. You should be giving them to the girl you like. And tell her what they mean when you give them.”
Seojun sighed wistfully, “The girl I like doesn’t know the language of flowers.”
Sujin hit him lightly with the tulips. “I wasn’t talking about Lim Jukyung. Go and like someone else, and bring her here, and give them these.”
“I wasn’t talking about Lim Jukyung either.”
“Mwo-ya. You have someone you like?”
Seojun’s bit his lip. “Yeah. But I’m going to give up.”
“Waaaee? You only just got over Lim Jukyung!”
“Because this girl likes someone else too.”
“Omo, chincha?” Sujin laughed. “Again? Ya, Han Seojun, can’t you choose a better girl to like?”
Seojun gave a sad chuckle. “I know, right?”
“Who is she? Do I know her?”
“Yeah.”
“Who is it? Tell me!”
“Nope. Secret.”
“Ugh, how stingy. At least give me a hint. What does she look like?”
Seojun looked at Sujin, “She’s beautiful. Very beautiful.”
“Ayyy, that’s every girl out there.”
“Well, that’s all the hint I’m giving.”
Sujin punched his arm but relented. It was perhaps better to not know who Seojun liked. Sujin would have been filled with jealousy again and she didn’t want that.
It was curious however, that Seojun found someone he liked, and she didn’t even know. It was curiouser that this new girl had someone she liked too. Just like Sujin, Han Seojun had—
Sujin looked at the tulips in her hand. They stood out among the other flowers the various vendors had given her. Sujin looked at Seojun, who was busy admiring the sunset.
It was strange, but in that moment, she remembered something her teacher had once said.
Some of you don’t know what it is you really want. And some of you do know but you’re hesitant. However, opportunities come without warning and you must be prepared to take advantage of it.
“Han Seojun.”
“Hmm?”
Sujin pointed the flowers at him, tilting her head slightly. Much like he had done a long time ago when he had asked her Do you think I’m handsome?
“Do you like me?”
And just like she had, Seojun answered immediately, with no remorse or regret. “Yes.”
Like the cool girl she was, Sujin didn’t overreact or exclaim in surprise. She only casually said, “I like you too. So, we should date.”
A beat of a pause. One, two three.
“What? What?! WHAT?! You like me? You like me?! Me?! As in, Han Seojun?”
“Yes you, you idiot. Manhi Joahae.”
“What? Ican’tbelievethis. How? Why? Wait, you asked me if I liked you. Did you already know?” Seojun appeared as if his brain had malfunctioned.
Sujin grinned. “You phabo, even if I didn’t know flower language, I could still tell by the red tulip. Ah-nee, red is the universal color for romance. Didn’t you know?”
Seojun’s face was a mixture of wonder, shock and pure happiness. His eyes were wide, cheeks red and pulled up, mouth hanging open in a slow smile. He had no words to speak. He felt like he would explode like a firecracker and light up the sky in sparks.
“You like me? You really like me?”
Sujin closed the distance between them, pulling at the lapel of his coat. She gave him only a chaste peck on his lips before moving back, blushing. “It’s official now. So, no backing out, okay?”
His mind, that was already haywire, went blank.
He pulled Sujin by the waist, pressing her entire form to him and cupped her face with his other hand. The kiss he gave her was intense and she gasped before giving in to him. Sujin felt she could stay like this forever. The kiss only ended because their mouths kept pulling back in an uncontrollable grin.
“You like me?” Seojun asked.
“Yes.”
He kissed her again but they couldn’t stop smiling. Both of them were shaking.
“You like me?” He asked again.
“Yes.” She replied again, chuckling.
And they kissed again.
“You like me?”
“Yes!” She laughed.
And they kissed again. And he asked again, she replied again, and they kissed again and again and again.
EPILOGUE
When Seojun and Sujin told Jukyung and the others that they were dating, it had been the first of April. So naturally everyone assumed they were joking. Seojun and Sujin hadn’t realized this and were surprised at the luke warm response that everyone gave to their announcement.
“Yes. We believe you.” Suah had said and Sujin missed her sarcastic tone.
when Seojun gushed over Sujin, the group all just looked at each other thinking, Wow, they’re really dedicated to this prank.
And even when they left together, the group all gathered and said;
“You believe them?”
“Why pull a prank that’s so obvious?”
“Exactly! Han Seojun and Kang Sujin? No way.”
Only Suho had been the one to keep his silence and not say anything.
But when they all met up again and Seojun and Sujin acted like a couple again, everyone gasped in shock.
“What?!”
“You guys are actually dating?!”
“How?! How did this happen?”
Only Suho had been the one who wasn’t surprised. “Congratulations. I’m happy for the two of you.” He had said warmly.
“Sujin-ah, what about our affair?” Jukyung said despondently, making a crying face.
“I’ll let you know when Seojunnie goes on tour.” Sujin assured her quietly.
“YAH!” Both Suho and Seojun exclaimed in protest, pulling their girlfriends away from each other.
“Lim Jukyung, you keep your hands off my girlfriend.” Seojun warned.
“I will. But there’s no guarantee she’ll keep her hands off me.”
Chorong and Co. had a similar reaction, they all exploded into shock and happiness at the news. Only Chorong seemed unsurprised.
“So you finally figured out your feelings?” Chorong asked Seojun.
“You knew?”
“Friends know.”
To Sujin, Chorong said, “Sujin-ah, I respect you a lot. But if you hurt—”
“Arasso, arasso. I won’t hurt your precious Han Seojun.”
“I meant don’t hurt me if he ever pisses you off. You scare the shit out of me.”
When enough time had passed and they knew they had to tell their parents, they went to Seojun’s mother first. The woman had been pleasantly surprised by this news and declared Sujin a part of the family immediately. She had met Sujin before and had taken a liking to her immediately but now that she and Seojun were dating, the woman gushed and cried.
“Ah, I have another daughter now.” She said, kissing Sujin on the forehead.
The tricky part was Sujin’s mother, who was still a little pissed over the scandal.
“What will people say if you announce this online?!” The woman had argued.
“But mom,” Sujin made a flower pot with her hands around Seojun’s face, “look at how handsome he is.” And that was enough to entice Mrs. Kang.
Receiving so much happiness and love from everyone was an unfamiliar experience for Sujin. So much so that it terrified her. She felt like she was in a dream that would shatter any minute and she would suddenly wake up back in her old bed with her father banging on the door, screaming at her that she was worthless.
It was this image that jerked Sujin awake in the middle of the night. She sat up straight, her heart was pounding, her hands felt sweaty and clammy. Her father’s shouting was still ringing in her ears.
Seojun stirred on the other side of the bed, “Bad dream?” His rich baritone was husky from sleep but it cut through the darkness of the room and Sujin didn’t feel so scared anymore.
“Um-hmm.”
“Come here.” Seojun patted her side of the bed. She fell back into his arms, nuzzling her nose in his neck.
He sang to her softly, his deep voice soothing her. “Love, love the stars. Love, love the moon. Nothing has really changed. It’s still the same air. With the same bed looking at the same ceiling.”
Sujin’s hands stopped feeling clammy and dirty and soon enough, she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of flowers and sunsets.
THE END.
A/N: Dear reader, if you stuck till the end and liked what I wrote, then thank you. Saranghae <3
Please have my badly made memes with my sarangs
#true beauty#true beauty fanfiction#true beauty kdrama#true beauty soojin#kang sujin#kang soojin#Kang Sujin Fanfiction#kang soojin and han seojun#han seojun#han seo jun#han seojun fanfiction#seojun x sujin#seojun x soojin#kdrama#fanfiction#hwang in yeop#park yoona#junjin
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An AU of DC with a mass crossover of PS4 properties.
Provisional name: Players Searching for Detectable Changes (Get the pun?)
The setup:
This is the future of DC, a world where the old guard has slowly withdrawn and the newer generations have risen to the occasion. The original Titans in particular, most of which have formed the new Justice League while many other, very similar teams had started to form across the world. One of which was a resurgence of the Teen Titans, led by an older and purified Raven. She wanted to make the Teen Titans something akin as it was for her, a place to belong and learn to use one's powers.
The first 'class' of such individuals include:
Stargirl (of the now-disbanded JSA and still getting used to the Starrod)
Blue Beetle III (Freshly attached to his alien symbiote and freaking out a bit)
Robin V (to work on his anger issues, mostly at the new Batman's request)
Kaldur (a half Atlantean half metahuman who is struggling with his identity and the surface world, Aquaman feels a kinship for the boy seeing their similarities)
Static Shock (a promising new hero but little experience working outside his city or in groups)
Mary Marvel (she's... she's going through alot. Fresh from a coma, her brother is distant as he acts as the new Wizard, and she may be, sorta kinda, being corrupted by Black Adam's gifted power)
The team was rough and there was plenty of head butting (Mostly between Stargirl and Robin/Damian as one is almost the unanimous leader while the other thinks he should be) but they were getting there. They were more of a clean up crew for the Justice League, they did more than the "kiddie missions" that the Outsiders didn't do, and they meant more than the PR grab that was the International team. Though they didn't seem to amount to more than that. They still did their best, pushing past the silent ridicule, as they went about their missions.
This may be why tempers were so high that day.
One day, outside a little city by the name of Weller's Point, the prisoner transport for the villain Plasmus had an "accident". Released and awakened the creature went on a rampage, heading ever closer to the populated area. Luckily, the mentor of the New Teen Titans could teleport. The new team did fairly well in the fight, though they did struggle a bit as Plasmus was not a being where simple brute force would work. It made the fight tricky and more than a bit... messy.
Messy enough that juvenile and emotionally compromised Mary Marvel lashed out against the downed villain but was stopped by her teammates... things escalated from there. Restraint turned blows and the whole team struggled to stop their powerhouse without hurting her. The ones who do the best are Raven, Stargirl, Blue Beetle, and oddly Static.
While both of the former could use their abilities to restrain her to a very effective degree Static was actively draining her of strength, or at least of the electic aura she was radiating and blasting with. Frustrated, done with the situation, and a bit petty Mary launched her largest attack yet by saying her magical word.
SHAZAM.
Virgil did what he did best, he handled that lightning as it came crashing down towards Mary and the Titans restraining her. Well, he tried. The bolt was just too powerful, too unlike anything he had ever encountered. He could not handle it and it was dissipating, if anything it clung to him or tried to jump towards the girl. He had to get rid of it and he had to get rid of it quickly, safely too if he could help it.
He shoved it into the ground, into the power lines. He did it as carefully as he could, trying to prevent overload or flashover as guided the charge into the power grid.
What happened next was a combination of a few things. 1. The Mystic and transformative properties of the Lightning, 2. It is effectively being filtered through a bang baby, 3. The kryptonite power plant owned by, provided by, and operated by Lexcorp.
This interaction, this new charge, cycling through the power grid interacted strangely with a number of devices but none more so than PlayStation 4s and the devices connected to them. This new electricity changed things, literally. It brought fantasy into reality.
Whatever game was loaded into became a part of our reality in a small way. Sometimes TVs, Controllers, and even the system changed to reflect items from the game but the bigger change came with the Players. If a person was playing their console during the surge then they would become a metahuman with abilities based on the playable character they were playing.
The city, the county even, was now flooded by an abundance of metahumans and items of varying power of devastation. Static felt horrible.
He couldn't help but compare what has happened here to what happened in Dakota City but on a wider scale. And this time it was his fault. His sense of responsibility wouldn't, couldn't, let that stand. He had to fix his mistake and his team was dragged along for the ride.
The story to follow is a mix of Final Crisis and Kingdom Come with a bit of the Young Justice cartoon in events and themes, a few twists and likely a bit lighter in tone but to the DC geeks this should give a rough idea… Maybe a bit of Marvel's Civil War but hopefully not the rushed knee-jerk mess that that ended up being.
But it's here that I start having issues with my planning. One part in worry as outside the set up we start to follow the perspective of OCs (something rarely smiled upon) and another part in wondering which OC to focus on.
Now, one thing I love in fiction is progressive powers and the conflict escalating from the different paths people take in said progression. In that vein, I have a pair of protags in mind as well.
The main two/co-protagonists:
The Lawkeeper- a cop before the change and now a member of a task force made up largely of those affected by the surge. A gamer, a man of color, and a believer of the spirit of the law. He doesn't always get along with his fellow officers but he believes in what the blue does. He believes that an organized response is what is best.
His abilities are based on those of Jesse Fades of Control. Meaning he has tremendous psychic potential but he needs 3 things to reach his full potential.
1.Items to bond to so he can generate these psychic abilities. Jesse's used altered items of her universe to get thematic abilities from them (ex: a safe to generate a shield, a carousel horse for a dash ability, ect). Here he can use items generated by the surge.
2. A patron/partner entity to help guide, give insights, and empower. It also let's the user enforce reality, basically becoming an anti reality warper.
3. A bonded morph weapon or a weapon to come to his hand when called.
The knight- a recent college graduate who instantly decided to go the route of the caped hero. She, after figuring out how to get her powers to work, instantly went the route of a caped crusader. Going out to the streets, saving lives, stopping instances of surge item abuse, and (in the humble opinion of the local Police Department) getting in the way of operations. In her opinion they were taking too long to get things done.
Her abilities are based on those of Prince Noctis of Final Fantasy XV. This means she has tremendous physical and magical potential but like the above she has a number of check marks needed to gain access to the character's full power.
1. A gem/crystal to draw power from.
2. 13 magical weapons to boost strength. The generated game weapons will do and I have most picked out in a way that likely would help the plot progress.
3. The blessing of 5-6 gods.
4. A power ring of some king to channel all this power.
I keep debating the two above as I do like the idea of both of them climbing in power and clashing over conflicting ideals of what to do with their power. At the same time, I think that just smooshing aspects of both into one (which is actually where they started, a single character) and play off the different ideologies of how best to help people from within her friend group and precinct along with internal conflict. Maybe have the one be a fellow officer they butt heads with because of the... precarious nature
Another OC I was thinking on, keeping with the theme of what to do when you have power, is a thief who played Persona 5. Like both of the above they would be crippled in their ability to use their abilities without a way to fake the connection to. In this case, without the Mementos App, they would need an item that could affect or enter the hearts of others. Luckily, more unlucky really, there are plenty of items floating around that can do just that. Namely Keyblades.
Most other Players are an odd mix but most are variations of the Shooter build. Peak physical humans who heal quickly and often have bullet time. But there are enough other variations to cause trouble. Demigods of unreal strength, men and women who can easily tap into a patron for powers from the outside, 2 variations of spider powers, cat eyed men and women who can cast magic with simple gestures, and so much more. But the real issue was the first two, the demigods without a parent to protect them and those easily connected to a divine source.
The disembodied New Gods of Apocalypse were very happy with those groups. For how bad this can be please look at what happened to Mary Marvel in canon Final Crisis.
Thoughts and opinions would be appreciated.
#dc community#fanfiction#dc fanfic#dc fandom#playstation#mass crossover#orginal character#dc fanfiction#dc fanfiction idea#outline
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10th House and Daddy issues (This is also applicable to any father like figures in your life not only your biological one. It also sheds some light on what would you be like as a father/father-figure)
✤ Aries in 10th house ✤
✤You and your father have a hot and intense relationship. There’s is such a difference in power where your father implemented their dominance and rules over you, creating an unbalanced relationship. They have a tendency to one up you and be competitive over the simplest of things, creating a wedge very early on.
✤Your daddy issues played with your self confidence. You’re unsure of yourself and your decisions, often going along with it just to avoid conflict . You have a fear of loud noise and screaming, and feel very uncomfortable around others.
✤As a father figure you’re strict and upfront. Growing up with a no-nonsense father made you knowledgeable of both sides and any tactics your kids could use. Cause you been there, you’ve done that. However, you won’t repeat your fathers mistakes and would allow your kids to have their time to shine and enjoy life.
✤You’re into romantic daddies that exude confidence effortlessly rather than force it. Love to travel, preferably works in a high risk job or even can be in the mafia so you can live that godfather fantasy.
✤ Taurus in 10th house ✤
✤Your father was very strong willed, stern and stubborn. You two had a hard time when having any conversation. Disagreeing leads to an argument and they had to have the last word. No word is above theirs.
✤Your daddy issues made you a conformist. You approve of others ,even if you disagree, and keep your true opinion to yourself. You doubt your capabilities, work, undermine your contributions and believe that your thoughts are wrong or irrelevant.
✤As a father figure you’re stern but kind. Your time with your father taught you how to listen and now it’s time to talk. You will make a clear set of things that have to go your way but allow your kids to have a say when it comes to other things. You will be conflicted and get scared of imaging your father so you gotta find a balance in there.
✤You’re into daddies that treat you like the king/queen that you’re. Clothes, food, mansions, yacht, flying around the world. You want someone give you what your father never did. Very Lana Del Rey.
✤ Gemini in 10th house ✤
✤Your father was very childish and immature, possibly having little to no respect for anyone. They’re the father and they can do whatever they want. They didn’t mind their business and were always in yours, violating your privacy made you a very sneaky person and a big time liar. They would sit around while you’re with your friends, making fun of, embarrassing you, humiliating you all at your own expense and to please their tiny fragile ego.
✤Your daddy issues developed a hate for childlike behavior and immaturity. You’re intolerant to pranks, roasts and other unsavory acts. You’re quick to take it personally.
✤As a father figure you’re a vicious protector. No one can come to your kid with that playground bullshit. You’re quick to shut it down. Your children grow very dependent on you emotionally, rendering them immature in some ways.
✤You’re into a smart daddy, very career man, educated and highly knowledgeable. Someone that can take you to the world wonders rather than just talk about then, a person of their words and keep promises. They highly stimulate you, Intellectually of course.
✤ Cancer in 10th house ✤
✤Your father enforced their ideals and beliefs on you. You were not allowed to do anything without them approving of it first. Friends, clothes, video games, social media, music and even food, they had the say on what’s comes and goes.
✤Your daddy issues made you a rebel. You go against any rules, and don’t like to be told what to do, you like to be shocking and be controversial. Think religious girl gone wild, like Madonna or Katy Perry.
✤As a father figure you cherish your kids for who they are and give them the liberty of being their own person. The down side is that your kids have little respect for rules and others wishes and personal space. Disciplining them is especially difficult since they do as they please with no regards cause “I am my own person and I do as I please.”
✤You’re in love with daddies with power that are very macho and masculine. Police officers and criminals are a big part of the fantasy. Being with a powerful daddy makes you feel feminine and like a whole woman.
✤ Leo in 10th house ✤
✤Your father was an unbearable self centered overlord. They took good care of themselves but gave just the bare minimum to you. They drove good cars, slept on a good mattress, flied first class and wore designer clothes. You on the other hand took public transport or drove an old used car, slept on their old jacked up mattress, was lucky to even get on the trip and wore the same old clothes.
✤Your daddy issues made you self sufficient. Your independence made relationships seem pointless, you were provided everything to yourself so no one compared. People are expandable so they have to prove their worth and purpose.
✤Being a father figure you taught your children how to be on their own. They cleaned after themselves and were responsible for themselves, as much as a child can. You gave them tough love when needed but also gave them the freedom of learning and living their life to the fullest. Your motto is “when you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready”.
✤You’re into dominating and different power dynamics. Pool boy, the Gardner, a coach, a secretary, you like to dominate and have sex with a young daddy. Meow cougar.
✤ Virgo in 10th house ✤
✤Your father had set up relentless standards that were basically impossible to achieve. Being good was expected and a most, but every fall or second place made all those achievements disappear. Completely destroying your self-esteem.
✤Your daddy issues made you a perfectionist that is hard to please. Everything has to be a certain way or else it’s all going to the trash and in vain. Your father’s disappointed words play on a loop in your made. To the world you’re the best of the best, but on the inside you’re your own worst critique and enemy.
✤As a father figure you’re your kids biggest supporter. You don’t only give them advice but teach them the tools to be great at solving problems.You can be at times over critical with how things should be done but you’re not opposed to your children correcting you or doing it their on way. Sometimes.
✤You want a daddy who got it all. The wealth, the prestige, the brains and the career. You want someone that will not only fulfill your physical needs but also give something priceless, knowledge and know-how.
✤ Libra in 10th house ✤
✤Your father was pushover that cared more about others opinions over your own happiness and individuality. He was easily played by others and didn’t defend you. He isn’t around when you need him and is very dependent on others.
✤Your daddy issues made you an independent go getter. You’re socially skilled thanks to years of raising yourself on how to dodge uncalled for comments from family members, and have a good balance between giving people a second chance and stand in your ground.
✤As a father figure you’re a fair minded person that treats every child specifically based on how they’re and their needs. You value honesty and doing what is right, you teach your kids to learn from their mistakes. That means they will be given a second chance as well as suffer the consequences of their actions.
✤You’re into cheesy romantic things, you love to be pampered and be taken care of your. That means daddy got to have a good bank accounts, since wine, diner, flowers and diamonds don’t come cheap and so does you.
✤ Scorpio in 10th house ✤
✤Your father was very critical of you and had difficult expectations for you. They asserted themselves over you by meddling all aspects of your life to make you “theirs” forever.
✤Your daddy issues made you a cut-throat straight up over achiever. An everyday politicians, you know how to manipulate and change minds. Growing up with your father made you strong willed and assertive, no one can get through your icy thick walls.
✤As a father figure you give what was not given to you as a child, freedom and no expectations. You raise your children to be smart, strong and capable humans that won’t need others.
✤Your daddy issues made yearn for love and affection. Living a love story is something no one would guess that you’re looking for, but that’s because they don’t know you.
✤ Sagittarius in 10th house ✤
✤Your father inconsistent in your life. One minute they’re cold, the other they’re hot, first it’s left and then it’s right. Living with your father was crazy to say the least. Their inconsistency made it difficult feel safe or stable in anything.
✤Your daddy issues reflected badly on your behavior. Early on you were flaky, late, lazy and felt abandoned from all those times your father forgot and wasn’t there. Then the cycle switch and you start taking your life very seriously, the idea of being your father or seeing their behavior in other boiled you. You’re a straight shooter that stuck to their guns no matter what.
✤As a father figure, you try to always be there for your kids. You want to make memories with them and document everything so those memories will live forever. It is very hard for you to get over your father but making up with your kids help.
✤You’re into adventures daddies that are not afraid to take risks and live life to it’s fullest. You love making memories, especially if it’s in a foreign country at night where anythings feels possible.
✤ Capricorn in 10th house ✤
✤Your father was a nit picky authoritarian that meddled with all aspects of your life. For the most past of your childhood you were not to be exposed to anything they disagreed with and you were very sheltered. Your teen years were weird and awkward since the way they brought you up made them the only person that was there and had any effect on you.
✤Your daddy issues rendered you incapable of holding social interaction and lacking real knowledge of the world. You emerged in your young adult years as a child again, as if you truly started to live from the moment you left your father behind.
✤As a father figure you’re precise and attentive. You remember a lot about your kids, and you gave them all that they needed physically and emotionally. Because of the way you were brought up, you can get overly protective and paranoid over their safety and who they’re with. Although you can be suffocating to them, no one can deny that you raised your children to be well educated and wholesome people.
✤Your daddy issues made you crave someone that holds a powerful or influential position. Politicians and religious figures make a big part of the sexual fantasy. Reliving being dominated by someone like that is a secret that you keep that you will never tell.
✤ Aquarius in 10th house ✤
✤Your father was more focused on their work and external affairs. You felt abandoned and unheard growing up, where your issues were not as important and that you should be grateful for what you have.
✤Your daddy issues made crave attention and being wanted. You feel angered when unheard and would do anything so people would like you. Growing up with your father, however, made you value your life goals and passions.
✤As a father figure you’re a mentor and teacher. You teach your kids through actions and show them their true potential and strength. Helping them grow into a great human being is more important than being successful.
✤You’re into an easy going daddy that showers you with all the attention you crave. Someone that’ll spoon you but also knows how to use non physical communications. You want someone that can take you far away.
✤ Pisces in 10th house ✤
✤Your father undermined your work and treated you like a child. There was never true praise and they didn’t take you seriously, making you feel unworthy and incapable. Growing up, they always took your comments, opinions, and thoughts as a cute little from their baby that doesn’t know better.
✤Your daddy issues made you dependent and lazy. You’re emotionally immature and can’t handle the pressure of everyday life. You don’t give yourself credit for the work you’ve done and on bad day you expect others to do the work for you, whether it’s to make you feel better or run a simple errand, dependency, work and individuality are things you will always struggle with.
✤As a father figure you’re pushover. You give your kids all the attention and things they want as a way to fulfill your deprived child self.This may grow into a problem though, since living vicariously through your kids never works out well.
✤You want a daddy that will baby you and make you feel like the princess/prince that you always dreamed to be. They’ll give you the fairy tale fantasy you used read, a romance just like in the movies and gives you the type of love you always hear about in songs but never saw in real life.
#zodiac#zodiac signs#signs#astrology#10th House#aries#taurus#gemini#cancer#leo#virgo#libra#scorpio#Sagittarius#Capricorn#Aquarius#pisces#aries in 10th house#taurus in 10th house#gemini in 10th house#cancer in 10th house#leo in 10th house#virgo in 10th house#libra in 10th house#scorpio in 10th house#sagittarius in 10th house#capricorn in 10th house#aquarius in 10th house#pisces in 10th house#10th house and daddy issues
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