#if it goes as badly as I think it will I’ll change my flight back from Rome and I’ll just go back to OMG I ALMOST JUST DOXED MYSELF

[boomerang109]

I don’t want to go home and that makes me so sad

#im seeing two different therapists (don’t question it) so I’ve had four different therapy appointments in the last 2 weeks prepping to go #and I still just. don’t want to. #if it goes as badly as I think it will I’ll change my flight back from Rome and I’ll just go back to OMG I ALMOST JUST DOXED MYSELF #like yes I know saying my city is not that bad but I don’t feel comfy with that and I almost wrote it #I need to go to bed #I was gonna try to finish my assignments for my theatre class because I think they’re due BEFORE tmrw but #fml i need sleep yknow?

[crinkled-emotions]

Day 15: Meeting the parents (and it goes... badly)

We are seven days late to the party but who cares? Fuck it!

Ship: Floydsin

Warnings: n/a?

Following the same "Rhett and Bob are twins storyline"

-

“You kiss your mom with that mouth, Bobby?”

“I can think of a couple other things I could kiss-“

“Fuck, that’s hot.”

The doorbell echoed into the living room, interrupting the playful banter. Bob groaned, patting Hangman’s thigh to untangle them.

“Let me up, I’m hoping it’s my Amazon order.”

“But- Mario Kart? I might actually win this time.”

Bob rolled his eyes, planting a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead.

“I appreciate the enthusiasm but I don’t think that’s ever gonna happen.”

“But- ow?”

Bob jogged into the hallway when the doorbell rang again, checking the camera. His eyebrows raised.

“What the fuck?”

“Everythin’ alright?”

Jake rounded the corner to join him in the doorway but Bob put his hands on his chest, gesturing for him to go upstairs.

“My parents are here. Go upstairs.”

Jake protested, eyes darting over Bob’s face to figure out what was going on. His eyebrows furrowed and he eventually went upstairs. The doorbell rang a third time and Bob took a deep breath before opening the door.

“Mom... dad?”

-

Bob watched his parents come through the front door, eyes wide as they took a look around his house.

“I thought you guys were in Colorado lookin’ for Perry?”

His mom gently tapped his cheek as she walked through with her suitcase, his father looking around.

“Flights got cancelled back to Montana so we rebooked to come see you.”

“Of course you did.”

“What a... large place, Robert. Do you have a roommate?”

Bob took a deep breath. Then, he saw the loophole.

“Oh- uh, yeah. Jake’s upstairs, he just came home from a workout so he’s in the shower.”

Upstairs, the water started running. Bob breathed a sigh of relief- he could count on Jake to eavesdrop at any given opportunity.

“Well; are you going to give us the tour?”

“Oh, yeah! Uh, this is the living room...”

He led them around the ground floor of his house, showing them the bathroom and kitchen as well as the tiny room he used as an office. When they went to go upstairs he held out a finger to them.

“I’m just gonna see where Jake is; I don’t want to put him out.”

“Of course,” his father agreed. Bob turned and fled up the stairs, running into Jake in the hallway. He was only just leaving the bathroom, only wearing the towel around his hips and his hair was damp.

“They think you’re my roommate,” Bob filled him in, “grab some of my clothes and go into the spare room. I’ll knock in a minute.”

Jake’s brows furrowed together and he leaned in to squeeze Bob’s arm.

“Are you... out?” He whispered. Bob shook his head.

“I’ll tell you about it later. Just... go along with me, okay?”

With a quick glance over his shoulder he pressed a chaste kiss to his boyfriend’s lips then ducked into his room to tidy up. Jake grabbed a change of clothes from the dresser, thankful he’d started leaving things behind months ago. Bob quickly fixed his sheets, tossing the comforter back on as an afterthought, then tossed anything suggesting sexual activity into the nightstand drawer which he could lock. As a final thought, he grabbed Jake’s phone charger from the other side of the bed and put it into a dresser drawer- he’d give it back to him later. Finally, he went back to the base of the stairs.

“He’s just gettin’ dressed, he’ll be ready in a minute. Uh, so, this is my room...”

Bob opened his bedroom door to his parents who took a look around. His mom turned to him, frowning.

“It’s very... plain.”

“It’s base housing, mom, we’re typically not here very long or very often.”

He kept the fact he was going to be here for the next five years to himself; he’d already put in an offer on a house about half an hour from base. Jake wasn’t ready to go in on it with him but he was supportive of the offer.

“Of course,” she hummed. Hangman took that moment to appear, flicking his hair out before leaning on the doorway.

“Heard there were some visitors I had to come and see. Mr and Mrs Floyd, it’s so great to finally meet you.”

“Mr and Mrs Abbott, actually. And you are...?”

“Lieutenant Jake Seresin, sir. I work with Bobby.”

Jake’s eyes subtly darted to Bob, but he quickly turned on the thousand-watt smile everyone loved to shake his parents’ hands. Bob’s mother looked between them, clearing her throat.

“Rhett couldn’t come; he and Hadley are in Australia for a month.”

“Smart,” Bob muttered under his breath.

“Bobby?”

Bob’s father had finally come back to his senses, gaze darting between the two men. Jake sent Bob an apologetic look, clearing his throat.

“Your son’s the youngest on our team; our teammate Rooster gave him the nickname. It’s kinda a rite of passage with us.”

“And what’s your nickname?”

“Bagman,” Bob blurted out, unwilling to give up the nickname he called Jake when no one else was around, “his callsign is Hangman so we usually have variations. We call Rooster Roo a majority of the time.”

He knew how much Jake hated that nickname when it wasn’t used in a jovial context by himself or Phoenix, but it was the first thing that came to mind. He watched Jake’s green eyes sadden and he gently rapped his knuckles on the door frame.

“So, y’all are in luck; me and Bobb- uh, Robert- can share his room if y’all want to stay here. Hotels are expensive, it’s not worth it and the sofa isn’t exactly comfortable. My room is clean, please feel free to use it.”

“Thanks, Jake, but uh-“

“-that would be great, thank you Jake.”

Mrs Abbott cut Bob off, glancing over her shoulder at her husband.

“Royal, could you go get the cases?”

“Let me.”

Jake sent one last look at Bob before going downstairs with Royal. Bob’s mother rounded on him.

“It’s been ten years and you haven’t even given me a hug,” she said. Bob winced.

“M’sorry, mama. C’mere.”

He pulled her into a hug, shoulders relaxing.

“I’m sorry you had to find out about Perry and Amy through Rhett,” she whispered. He cleared his throat.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Of course you don’t.”

She stepped away, glancing over her shoulder when she heard footsteps coming back upstairs.

-

The rest of the day was awkward, dinner even more so. Usually Jake and Bob sat together and talked about their days, but they sat at opposite ends of the table and mostly kept the conversation to the ranch or work queries. Bob’s mother was eager to meet Maverick but Bob told her he and Rooster were on a road trip; it was a long story and it wasn’t his to tell. By the time nine pm rolled around Bob was looking forward to going to bed and his parents politely excused themselves to Jake’s room to go to bed. Once the door closed upstairs Jake rounded on Bob.

“What the fuck is goin’ on?”

“What do you mean?”

They moved into the kitchen to fall into their usual nightly dishes routine; Bob rinsed the dishes then handed them to Jake to put into the dishwasher. With the noise coming from that they could talk without worrying about being overheard.

“You’re not out to your parents?”

“Are you?” Bob snapped. Jake sighed.

“That’s not what we’re talkin’ about. Bobby... your parents don’t even share a last name with you- and Mav and Roos are on a roadtrip? Maybe out to Mav’s place but they’d be back by now.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You told Phoenix, why can’t you tell me?”

Bob whirled around, eyes wide.

“How do you know I told Phoenix?”

“When Rhett and Hadley were here she told me to stay close because she was worried about you. I got the hint.”

Bob hummed.

“Right. Sure.”

Jake wiped his hands on the nearest dishtowel and approached him, hands going to Bob’s hips.

“Look,” he whispered, “I can tell this is stressing you out, and you don’t have to tell me if it’s going to make it worse. All I want to do is know what I can do to help.”

Bob checked over Jake’s shoulder for any hints his parents were coming downstairs before he stepped into Jake’s arms, placing his forehead on his shoulder.

“I have no idea why they thought it was a good idea to show up on my doorstep after ten years, and I don’t know that I want them here, but... I have to try, right? I’m the black sheep and that’s saying a lot because Rhett has always been a close second.”

“If you don’t want to try there is nothing wrong with that. Say the word and I’ll pay for their tickets back to Montana.”

Bob smiled into Jake’s shirt, turning to press a kiss to his neck.

“I know.”

Jake squeezed his back, gesturing to the dishes.

“C’mon, let’s finish up and go to bed.”

-

Jake stirred to their alarm going off at six, glancing over to find Bob already up and dressed.

“Oh, c’mon. No good morning kiss?” He deadpanned. Bob rolled his eyes, crouching by the bed to do as requested.

“M’goin’ to talk to Tasha. I’ll see you at work.”

“Hey.”

Jake shifted, catching Bob’s hand at the last second.

“I love you.”

That made the wizzo soften and he brushed a hand over his boyfriend’s back.

“Love you too. Brush your teeth, you were snoring last night.”

“You were talkin!”

The pair separated, laughing as Bob left the room and Jake started his morning routine.

Mrs Abbott was in the kitchen when Jake made his way downstairs dressed for base, making him pause.

“Good mornin’, ma’am,” he said tentatively. She glanced over her shoulder, sipping on her coffee.

“Good morning, Jake- please, call me Cece.”

“Okay... Cece. Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you. Still on ranch time, I guess. Has Bob already left?”

“Yeah, he was going to meet his pilot for a meeting.”

He made his way over to the coffee machine, starting it before ducking into the fridge to find the cream cheese for his bagel. Cece watched him for a moment, quiet.

“Where are you from, Jake?” She asked.

“Texas, born and raised.”

“Can I ask when you last spoke to your family?”

Jake frowned.

“It would be almost fifteen years. They weren’t supportive growing up and that continued when I told them what I wanted to do career wise. They thought I should have stayed on the ranch.”

“I always thought Robert would leave. He didn’t like that life.”

“He fits in here; ma’am, your son is one of the best wizzos I have ever seen.”

“I appreciate that.”

They stood in silence while Jake waited for his bagel to pop up from the toaster. When it finally did he smothered it in cream cheese and checked the time on his phone.

“Damn, I’m gonna be late. Uh- look, I’m gonna leave my house key on the entryway table, please feel free to come and go as y’all please.”

He grabbed the bagel and chewed it as he headed for the door, grabbing his truck keys and slipping out the front door.

-

Bob flopped into his seat beside Phoenix in the classroom and she passed over his coffee, nudging his side.

“Thanks for telling me all that this morning. If you need anything let me know, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Hangman chose that moment to stride into the classroom, cocky smile at the ready. He easily slid into his seat, flicking his notebook open. Coyote nudged him and they put their heads together, whispering for a moment before Maverick came into the room with the rest of the Daggers. He went to start his lecture but he paused when he saw Jake and Bob.

“Oh no; trouble in paradise?”

“No sir,” they both called back. Maverick shrugged.

“Alright then. Today we’re going to be doing flight simulations...”

The team settled in for the rest of the day, everything else to the back of their minds. Bob glanced over at Hangman briefly but when he didn’t get eye contact he put his head down and focused on taking notes.

“Did you two break up?”

“Rooster, you’re the last person I’d tell if that was the case.”

Rooster frowned as he jogged to catch up with Hangman, falling into step with him.

“C’mon, man, what’s going on?”

Hangman glanced around, before he leaned into Rooster.

“He called me Bagman.”

“He... always calls you Bagman?”

“It was the way he said it, Rooster, in front of his folks.”

“Y’know, I don’t think I’m the one to be offering any kind of advice regarding parents considering mine are not on Earth, but uh... have you talked to Bob about it?”

“Can’t,” Jake frowned, teeth clenched, “his parents are staying with him and he’s... it’s complicated.”

“I know,” Rooster reassured, “and I get it, trust me I do.”

Hangman shook his head, gesturing to the locker room they were coming up to.

“Gonna take a leak, go see what the others are doing.”

Rooster kept going and Hangman stepped into the locker room, heading for his locker. As he opened it he heard footsteps and whirled around only to come face to face with his boyfriend.

“Hey.”

“Hi... look, about yesterday-“

“-it’s... fine.”

“It’s not, and I’m sorry.”

Jake hummed.

“It was shitty. You know I don’t mind you saying it but I don’t like it used as an insult against me, especially not from you.”

Bob cleared his throat.

“I’m scared... to tell them.”

“I wouldn’t ever pressure you, especially if you feel like you’re not safe. Just remember that you haven’t talked to them in ten years. A lot can change in that time.”

Bob ran a hand through his hair, then pulled his boyfriend into a hug.

“I want to tell them all about you, please believe me when I say that.”

“I do.”

-

Coming home separately was strange and it really put Jake out. He had his own base housing but if he was honest with himself he spent more time at Bob’s. It was just where they were happiest and they often drove to and from work together. Pulling into the driveway he spotted Bob’s truck already parked and headed inside. His parents were sitting on the couch, looking at some document, and Bob was standing by the entrance to the living room with his arms crossed.

“Mom, dad, I told you, I can’t leave work to find Amy with you. I have to be here.”

“She has to be somewhere, Robert, she can’t just disappear! We came here because we hoped you would come to your senses and help your family-“

Bob sucked in a breath and Jake saw a blush cover his cheeks.

“You left us high and dry once; the least you could do is help us find your niece, or come home and help me with the ranch.”

Jake’s eyes darted to Bob, who sniffed at his father’s harsh words. Finally, Jake had had enough.

“Alright, y’all need to get some fuckin’ perspective,” he started. Bob looked to him in alarm but Mr Abbott was already standing.

“What did you just say to me?”

“You don’t talk to your son for ten years and then show up because you need him for something? You know he almost died last year, right?”

“This is a family matter, Mr Seresin; I suggest you leave us to it.”

“Mr Abbott, all due respect, I am family. I’m Bobby’s family.”

“The Navy teach you that? You go on a mission together and then you’re family, or were you so desperate for a family that you-“

“-enough!”

Bob stepped in front of Jake, glancing over his shoulder to check on him before he gestured to the door.

“Go and get your shit, I’ll pay for your hotel room tonight.”

Jake felt his stomach sink, but Bob was staring directly at his parents.

“I didn’t even invite you here, and I don’t remember you guys ever asking me if I was alright.”

“Robert-“

“-it’s Bob! It’s Bob, or Bobby, or Baby on Board. I can’t remember the last time I introduced myself as Robert. God, will you just get lost already?”

“I won’t take you talking to me like this-“

Cece put her hand on her husband’s, meeting his eyes.

“We should go. Robert- Bob- he’s happy here.”

“He should have never left in the first place,” Mr Abbott complained. Jake opened the front door.

“You have thirty seconds to go upstairs and gather your shit, Mr Abbott,” he warned, “before I throw it on the lawn and call the cops for trespassing.”

“You can’t do that!” Mr Abbott exclaimed. Bob reached behind himself and pulled Jake into his back.

“Actually, he can, and I want him to.”

“Bobby-“

“-no. I want you here.”

Jake’s eyes were soft when they glanced toward Bob, but he seemed to switch into more of his Hangman persona when he flicked back to Bob’s parents.

“Think y’all should be goin’ now.”

Mr Abbott headed upstairs to get the suitcases and Cece quietly headed to grab the car keys for their rental. She didn’t say a word to Bob or Jake as she passed, head down. Jake kept his hand on Bob’s back, standing behind him in solidarity.

“Well,” he muttered quietly, “that was fucked up.”

“Shush,” Bob hissed, elbowing him in the ribs. He grabbed his wallet and pulled out a couple bills, nudging Jake.

“I’ll be right back, just gonna give them some cash and make sure their flights are booked.”

He opened another drawer and pulled out an envelope, making Jake’s eyebrows raise.

“Do you have cash everywhere?”

“Uh, yeah? I like to keep cash, just in case.”

“Nerd.”

Bob rolled his eyes but he pressed a kiss to Jake’s temple before he went outside.

-

With both Bob’s parents finally gone the couple reunited in the living room, flopping on to the couch in the early evening sunset. Bob pulled Jake’s legs into his lap, massaging his calves.

“You didn’t have to stand up for me, but I appreciate it. No one’s stood up for me to them before.”

“I’m sorry I-“

“-don’t apologise. We’re okay. I love you.”

Jake reached out, taking his hand.

“Rematch? We never finished our game yesterday.”

“Yeah, okay. C’mon, let’s do it... JJ.”

-

#top gun: maverick #TGM #top gun maverick #Jake Hangman Seresin #Jake Seresin #Hangman #Callsign: Hangman #Robert Bob Floyd #Robert Floyd #Bob #Callsign: Bob #Floydsin #G's Dec 2023 Prompts!

[1plus1kiyoomi]

Chapter 6: Fight or Flght Response

[prev] [next]

[masterlist]

——————————————————————————

warnings: mentions of sex and pretty much a toxic relationship

Morning comes and Kuroo wakes up with a headache. Eyes still closed, he taps on the other side of the bed, his hands looking for your body. “Love?” He groans. “Love, can you bring me some medication? My head hurts.”

Kuroo falls asleep once again and then wakes up an hour later. He sits up, his head ringing. “(Y/N)? Love?” He leaves the bed and doesn’t feel any presence of you in the house. “Oh, it’s 9AM. She must be at work already.”

Well, Kuroo’s not wrong. You are at your office but you aren’t working. You’re weeping at your table because you can’t seem to get rid of Kuroo’s words to his friends.

“So (Y/N) and I are trying to work our marriage out for a year, and she’s taking it way too seriously. While I can’t even look at her face! She messages me all the time about where I am, what I’m doing and all of that. She begs me to go on dates and nags at me if I miss it. I want to tell her off sometimes, but she’s a really good fuck. Like she’s amazing in bed and she lets me have it anytime so yeah. I guess it’s worth to stay.”

It keeps repeating in your head like a broken track. And your tears run down your cheeks and you know it won’t stop for a while. You stand from your desk and move to the little bedroom that is in your office. You lay on the bed and bury your face on the pillow.

The moment you heard his words come of his lips last night, you wanted to slap him hard, beat him up, tear his hair off his head, but you couldn’t. You were glued on the wooden floor of Kenma’s house, not able to believe Kuroo could say that. Your heart shattered into pieces that couldn’t be even counted.

But still, you went home with him. Even slept with him.

If your friends, especially Iwaizumi, find out about this, they’ll definitely tell you to leave him. No excuses. And you don’t want to leave Kuroo.

“Where did I go wrong? Is it because I’m ugly?” You take your phone out and open the camera app. “Very ugly right now. This is why he doesn’t want me to post anything about our relationship.”

Someone knocks on your office door so you wipe your tears quickly and open the Netflix app so you can pretend that you’ve been watching a sad movie this whole time.

“(Y/N)? The flowers are here,” Terushima says as he enters your office. “Why are you crying?”

Speaking of Terushima, he and Kuroo have become friends after their fight. When Kuroo picks you up sometimes and Terushima’s also there, you always find the two talking about hair. The blonde even goes to your place sometimes so he can style Kuroo’s hair. It’s their form of bonding so you really don’t have a say about it.

“This drama is just so sad,” you lie, showing him the screen of your phone that is playing a random sad movie.

“I didn’t know you were the type to cry cause of movies,” the blonde chuckles. “Anyways, fix yourself. Because we will be decorating a big function room starting this afternoon.”

“I almost forgot. The client wanted all real flowers right?” You sigh and sit up from your bed. ‘No time for crying. You’re a busy woman.’

“Yeah, so we have to make sure that the flowers will not wither tomorrow,” Terushima confirms.

You brush your issue with Kuroo under the rag and focus on your work instead.

Evening comes quickly and it’s finally time for your team to set up at the function hall. You had to wait until late evening to start since there was an event beforehand. The bestman of the wedding, Yuta, joined your team as the supervisor.

While you are setting up on the stage, you can feel your workmates throwing weird looks at you. “What?” You raise an eyebrow at them and one of your colleagues walks up to you.

“The best man has been staring at you ever since we got her,” she whispers with a teasing smirk. You roll your eyes at her and brush it off.

It’s always like this. At every event, your colleagues ships you with every best man or groomsman that shows interest towards you. They don’t know you’re actually married and think you’re single so they tease you. In hopes that you finally get to plan your own wedding. Sadly, you already are married and no wedding will take place.

You take a glance at the said man and he is staring at you, but not in a creepy way. As soon as you make eye contact, he smiles at you. You swear your heart skips a beat but at the same time you will never admit that it did.

“Miss (L/N)?” Yuta calls you out of nowhere. Surprised by his sudden presence, you fall on the ladder you are on and land on top of him.

‘What in the drama is this?!’

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” You push yourself off of the man quickly and bow repeatedly.

“It’s alright! It’s my fault for surprising you.” Yuta stands up as well and when your eyes meet, you burst into laughter. “You’re much prettier up close.”

“So you’re the straightforward type, huh?” You let out a chuckle and he smirks at you. “I thought you’d be a shy one since you have been just staring until now.”

“Well, since you think I’m the straightforward type, let me ask you. Are you single?” Yuta smiles at you shyly this time and you feel your cheeks burn hot.

‘You’re married, (Y/N)! Don’t even think about flirting back.’ You mentally scold yourself and look away from the man beside you. “Find out yourself.”

The glamorous wedding finally ends and it was one of the best weddings you have every coordinated. The couple is so in love with each other and they are surrounded by supportive family and friends. The guests were very uplifting and fun in general. You even made friends with some of the guests and have gotten closer to Yuta.

“Thank you for planning our wedding. This is such a dream come true!” The bride thanks you with a bow. You bow back and say your thanks as well. “And Yuta’s a good boy.” The bride winks at you before she and groom leaves.

“(Y/N)!” Speaking of the devil.

“Yuta!” You wave at him. He runs towards you and pants when he’s finally in front with you. “Can I help you with something?”

“Do you have a drive home?” He asks you so you shake your head no. You’re just being honest. “Can I drive you to your place?”

“My place is just a 10-minute walk from here, so it’s okay,” you reply. You check the time and it’s already past midnight. “I have to go now. It’s really late. Bye!”

“I’ll walk with you!” Yuta offers. “I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Okay, then. Whatever makes you sleep at night,” you joke and he just laughs.

The two of you walk home and Yuta shares random stories about his childhood. You like it. You like how he is open to you without you trying. You like how he’s initiating first. You like how gentle he is when he is talking to you. You like how he softly calls your name. You like how he’s not hiding that he’s interested in you. But you hate how you want Kuroo to be like that towards you. You hate how you’re still thinking about him.

Kuroo’s words come crashing into your mind again and you badly want to take Yuta’s hand and ask him to bring you home. But your mind is also telling you to come home quickly to Kuroo, even if you know he won’t be waiting for you.

“I’m here!” You say as you arrive in front of your condominium building. “Thank you for walking me.”

“No problem.” Yuta scratches the back of his neck. A change of demeanor happens, and Yuta becomes shy. “Can I get your number? I want to tak-”

“(Y/N)!”

Your world freezes as you hear Kuroo’s voice. It’s 1AM. Why the hell is he outside your building as well? You turn your head see him glaring at you with his arms crossed.

‘What do I do? Kuroo might misunderstand! And I can’t tell Yuta that Kuroo is my husband because he wants to keep our relationship a secret. Oh my gosh! What to do?’

You’re panicking. Your whole system is. You can feel your fingers tremble. Kuroo is walking towards the two of you and is already so close but you still don’t know what to do and say. The particles in your container are bouncing on the walls of your space rapidly because of pressure, and it’s making your mind go blank. Your fight or flight response is not functioning well.

Kuroo has been waiting for you at your building’s lobby since 10PM. He was waiting for your message about him picking you up at the hotel, but clearly you forgot about that. He thought you forgot because of fatigue but clearly that’s not the case.

Especially now that a man he has never seen before walked you back to your place.

“Who’s this?” Yuta and Kuroo ask in unison. Yuta glares at Kuroo, not liking how provocative the guy looks. Your husband raises an eyebrow at Yuta, his feline-like eyes glaring back at the unfamiliar guy.

“Kuroo, this is my friend Yuta,” you start to introduce but they aren’t even listening to you. They’re in this staring contest you don’t know about.

“And Yuta, this is Kuroo, my brother.”

——————————————————————————

Facts:

Your reactions when you are nervous are driven by the production of hormones and equip us to fight or escape from situations that are dangerous or threatening. This is known as the fight or flight response.

Nervousness can cause stuttering and rambling.

Anxiety may be partly genetic.

People who are anxious are quicker to pick up on changes in facial expressions than those who are but they are less accurate. Thus, it causes misunderstandings.

Taglist: @postsfromthe6 @elianetsantana @chaelysian @kiyobbie @lilxstan @moonlightaangel @oh-hey-its-a-simp @kellesvt @lifeisnotdiajoubu @starry-magicshop @stantalentstanunderratedgroups @mint-mai @torilovestowrite @faithmoonxd @agaashesmilktea @birdiewolf @yeibuub @maitenight @ashhhh26 @kageyamasgirl @tnu-ree @avatarkyoshithewarrior @kurokawa-aida @dabisdominion @chanayah @sevenseoul @marissaraeblr @amlnadya @weebintheinternet @shizukusimp @madmelle @soullesstaco @merrdlp @kouholic @kiyoomi-channie @kageyuh @kaachanultra @sabzhabib @134340-cm @toripersonalacc​ @itsimjaebeomsforehead @todobruhski  @graykageyama @coconut-dreamz @rienin @dawnsbaby @kagebunshiin  @heavenini @d-efend

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu smau #haikyuu series #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro smau #kuroo tetsuro fanfiction #kuroo x reader #kuroo smau #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x you

[duskholland]

The Fame Game (Part Ten) - Tom Holland

Summary ↠ Tom is straight-up not having a good time right now. 

Word count ↠ 3.9k

Warnings ↠ The romantic cliché of your dreams, alcohol, references to past intimate times, swearing. Pretty tame overall though!

A/N ↠ I can’t believe we’re at the end of the series! V (mischiefandi) gave me some really good ideas for this part with Tessa - I hope you’ll like what I did there lmao. I’m going to leave my extended thank yous for the epilogue, but just know that I am so grateful for everyone who’s stuck with the series from the beginning until now... Thank you for reading and coming on this journey with me. I hope you’ll like the final official part! Epilogue next week :’))

TEN: Come Home (T)

As the front door to Tom’s house shuts behind you, Tom finds himself slumping against the wooden frame, grief overcoming his senses. He’s tired and his arms hurt, everything hurts, but he peers up through the windowpane at the top of the door and watches as you run out through the sheets of rain. Paparazzi flashes illuminate his garden, capturing you as you stride purposefully to your car, duck down and enter it. A moment later, the car pulls away from the pavement and disappears.

Tom kicks at the door.

“Fuck!”

His hands curl into fists as he turns around and leans with his back against the door, frustrated eyes falling onto his jacket and his keys. For a moment he contemplates picking them up and making a mad dash after you, reckoning he could probably beat you to Heathrow if he drove recklessly enough, but then he sags.

Tom has to give you space. You’ve asked for space. He has to respect it.

His hand twitches as he walks out of the porch, as if his very fingers can feel how badly he wants to reach out and grab the keys, but he leaves them. Instead, Tom climbs the stairs and walks straight into the spare room, throwing himself down onto the bed and burrowing his head in the pillows. He groans - loudly.

It was always a long shot - telling you how he felt. And in some ways, Tom’s admission of love had gone quite well. You reciprocate his feelings, which, really, is the most essential part of it all. But that reciprocation is only the tip of the iceberg, and it goes far deeper than that - because you still left. Tom is still alone, curled up on the bed that smells distantly of you, clenching his fingers feebly around the sheets that he’d refused to let Harrison change, even months after you’d left. Your perfume lingers on the cotton.

There’s the small pattering sound of paws moving over wooden floors, and Tom’s lips quirk up ever so slightly as he pulls his face from the pillows just to see Tessa trot into the bedroom. She plods towards the bed but hesitates, sniffing around the wardrobe. One of the doors hangs half-open, and Tom notices that you’ve left it barren.

Tessa whines.

“I know, I know, girl.” Tom looks at the dog, smiling sadly. Tessa looks miserable. “I miss her too, yeah? But it’s going to be okay.” His words hitch, and Tom reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he feels his heart clench. “It… It’s a bit fucked up, but it’ll be okay. She… She loves me, at least.” He breaks off, laughing awkwardly. “And she knows now, too, that I love her. And yeah, she still left, but… Maybe one day I’ll see her again.” Tom sighs. “Probably not, though. Bloody hell, I’m so… I’m so stupid, Tess.”

Tessa looks up at Tom. Tom sighs.

“And now I’m talking to my dog like a lunatic,” he mutters. Tom sits back against the pillows, hands settling over his stomach. “This is actually pathetic.”

Tessa emits a loud whine before jumping up onto the bed, her wet nose jutting into Tom’s neck. He sighs, smiling as he reaches up to run his hands all over her sleek body.

“You wouldn’t leave me, eh, Tess?” He mutters. “You love me?” He’s sitting up properly, smiling as Tessa basks in the cuddles, releasing happy yips. “Thought so.”

Tom stays in the spare room - your room - for almost an hour, cuddling with Tessa, pondering his predicament. He’s wallowing in it, miserably staring at the ceiling and torturing himself with the ins and outs of the conversation he’d had with you. He loves you, but he understands why you wouldn’t believe him. Tom understands that he’s hurt you and that he needs to respect your choice to leave, but that doesn’t make it any less gutting.

With a sigh, Tom stands from the bed. Tessa whines, and he rubs her head fondly before walking down into the kitchen. He spots his phone on the counter and picks it up, his heart clenching as his lockscreen pops up.

It’s a photo of you both, from many months ago. It feels like a distant memory now, but when you’d first been in London, you’d gone out bowling with Tom’s family. Afterwards, you’d all retreated to the pub, and you’d shared pints all evening. At some point, Sam had taken a photo of Tom with his arm wrapped around you. You have your cheek on his shoulder, and though it’s a little blurry, it has to be his favourite photo of you together. The way you’re looking up at him is with warmth in your eyes, and it makes Tom’s heart skip a beat to remember how nice it was to be resting at your side.

Swallowing down the resentful lump in his throat, Tom opens up his texts and clicks on your contact. With cold fingers, he types out a message, altering and adding bits for a shameful amount of time before sending off the completed thing.

Tom: Have a safe flight. I’m sorry for being such a dick. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I love you. I love you and I’ll wait for you. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to figure it out. I love you. Xxxxxxxxxx

With that done, Tom takes himself off into the living room and throws himself onto the sofa. He grumbles as he grabs a pillow and wraps his arms around it, holding it close. He keeps checking his phone, wondering if you’ll reply. The message changes to read almost as soon as he’s sent it, but after that, nothing. It only makes his heart ache more.

So, with nothing else to do but wallow in his misery, Tom closes his eyes. He tries to sleep, and after a while, Tessa curls up beside him. Slowly but surely, the noise in his head and the pain in his chest ease off enough for him to rest, and Tom lets the world of heartbreak drift away.

Knock knock.

Tom stirs, slowly.

Knock knock knock.

“Eh?”

Knockknockknock.

Tom sits up, disorientated and dizzy. It’s dark outside, but through the blinds in the living room, he can make out that the front light is on. Someone is at the door.

With a grunt, Tom stands up. Tessa wriggles around, and he pats her head softly as he stumbles towards the porch, frowning as he tries to remember if he’s ordered anything recently. He doesn’t think he has, but maybe Harrison’s been making impulse purchases in Liverpool. Tom hopes it’s something he can eat. Fuck, he’s hungry. How long has he been asleep?

Tom pulls the door open without a second thought, still groggy and tired from his nap, and he gets the shock of his life when his eyes catch sight of the person standing nervously on his doorstep.

You.

Before he can get a word in, you’re surging forward, your arms wrapping around Tom’s figure before he can process it. A short huff leaves his chest as you hug him tightly, continuing to push him until Tom’s back is up against the wall. You kick the door shut behind you, coat dripping rain onto the floor, and then you grab his face and kiss him.

Tom kisses you back, his brain waking up the moment your lips touch his. He’s slow, but he matches your movements eagerly, his palms going to your shoulders as he kisses you messily. You’re practically vibrating, your mouth curving into a smile so prominent that Tom can feel it brushing up against his face.

You came back.

Tom pulls away, his eyes prickling with tears of surprise. “Wh-What?” He stammers, smiling when you laugh. “But your flight?”

You shake your head softly. “I couldn’t do it,” you say. “I couldn’t leave, Tom.” You brush a hand through his hair. “I love you too.”

Tom kisses you again, his hands going to your face. He cradles your cheeks as he presses his lips to your mouth, over and over again, dazzled by the lightness in his chest. His heart has never felt so warm before.

“You are spectacular,” he mumbles, gushing mindlessly against your lips. “You are- you are wonderful. You are brilliant.” He breaks off as you giggle, pausing in his dialogue to kiss you again. “You are my favourite person.” Tom pulls back, looking at you fondly. His eyes trail the familiar lines of your face and he swoons, overcome with positive emotion. “I love you.”

You kiss his cheek softly. “I’m also very wet,” you say, shaking off a dripping arm. A sheepish expression crosses your face. “I, um, might need to borrow some clothes,” you murmur. “I kind of just… Turned around and ran out of the airport.” You grin nervously. “I think my suitcase is halfway to America by now.”

Tom scoffs, nodding. “That’s okay, love. I’m just so happy that you’re here.” So happy that you came back, that you don’t hate him. So happy that you love him too.

Tom reaches out and takes your hand, kissing over your knuckles gently. A thousand stars seem to twinkle in your eyes as you look at him.

“I’m happy too.”

An hour later, you’re both sitting on Tom’s living room floor, boxes of empty takeaway stacked around haphazardly. Tom’s leaning up against the sofa, legs outstretched in front of him. His arm is wrapped around you, and you have your head resting on his shoulder, and he feels more content than he’s ever felt in his life.

“I can’t believe you left your suitcases on the plane,” he murmurs, voice gentle. You’ve been sitting together and talking all evening. He’s been spacing every few sentences with another kiss to your temple, enjoying the expressions of fondness that find your face each time his lips touch your skin. You look very cute in one of his oversized hoodies. “Did you tell anyone that you left?”

“Nah.” You sit up, stretching suddenly and yawning. You turn around to look at Tom, eyes flickering out over him until you smile mischievously. You move closer, swinging one leg over Tom’s thighs before settling in his lap, your hands falling to his shoulders. A wave of your perfume washes over him, and Tom sighs contentedly as you kiss him quickly. “I told the flight attendants, but they couldn’t get my stuff off the plane. I thought it was worth it, though.”

“Oh, definitely.” Tom can’t stop kissing you. The urge to press his lips to yours whenever he wants is too powerful to ignore. “I’ll replace it all for you, if you want,” he mutters, distracted by your mouth. “I’d buy you a whole bloody house if you wanted, darling.”

You laugh against his lips. “That’s unnecessary, Tom, but very sweet.” You pause, pulling away with a bewildered expression on your face. “My lease expired on my flat,” you say, processing the words, “So I actually don’t have anywhere to stay.”

Tom wiggles his eyebrows. “Well, luckily for you, I know someone who just so happens to have a house all to himself.” He walks his fingers over your shoulder, smiling at you. “You might be able to convince him to let you stay. I hear he’s a very generous landlord.”

“Oh yeah? Happen to know where I can find him?”

He nods, grinning. “He’s right here, love.”

Tom goes back to kissing you for a while, both of you growing giddy off chaste pecks. His lips are numb and puffy but he loves it, loves the ache and the way the back of his neck hurts from all the tugging of his hair.

There’s a phone ringing, out in the porch. Both of you ignore it, even as it rings a second and a third time. When it dies after the fourth, you pull away from Tom’s lips to roll your eyes.

“It’s mine,” you mutter, “Just ignore it. I don’t care about whatever it is.” There’s a hunger in your eyes, and Tom smiles.

“Whatever you say, boss,” he teases, earning himself a flick on the shoulder.

“Don’t call me your boss,” you scowl, scrunching up your nose. “I’m not your boss.”

“Oh, do you want me to be the boss, then?” Tom returns.

You glare at him. “No. You’re not my boss. You’re…” You trail off, and Tom tilts his head to the side, smiling softly.

“What am I, darling?”

A smile curves out across your lips. “You’re my boyfriend.”

The warmth that unfurls in Tom’s chest as he hears those words almost brings tears of relief to his eyes.

“Yeah.” He brings a hand to your face and you nuzzle your cheek into his palm. “I am.” He kisses you, softly. “And I love you.”

“Love you too, boyfriend.” You look at him for a moment before tilting your head and kissing the flat of his palm. “I am overjoyed to be your girlfriend. Your real girlfriend.”

Tom laughs, nodding his head in quick agreement. “Yeah, I-”

His phone starts ringing. It vibrates over the glass coffee table, clattering noisily, and a shadow of irritation passes over his face. You turn around, craning your neck and screwing your eyes together as you get a read on the screen.

“Shit,” you mutter, grabbing the phone and passing it to him. “It’s Rebecca.”

Tom feels his mood sink. “Fantastic.” He looks at his phone before glancing up at you. “Should I answer it?”

You sigh as you nod. “She’ll just keep phoning.”

Rather reluctantly, Tom swipes his finger over the screen, accepting the call and then putting the device on speakerphone.

“Hello?” He says.

The line crackles for a moment. “Oh, hi there, Tom,” Rebecca says. “Is Y/N with you?”

Tom glances at you. You clear your throat before replying.

“Yes, I’m here. You’re on speaker.”

Rebecca swallows so loudly that it’s audible. “What have you done?” She whispers. “Paps got you leaving the airport.”

“I changed my mind,” you say. Tom reaches down and takes your hands in his, squeezing your fingers when he hears the waver in your voice. “I didn’t want to go back to LA.”

“They also got you going back to Tom’s house. The tabloids are going crazy. Nobody knows what’s going on.” Rebecca pauses, and then sighs, deeply. “What is going on?”

“I’m staying in London,” you tell her, eyes on Tom’s face. Your lips curl into a nervous smile, and you continue to look at Tom as you speak. “We’re not… We’re not breaking up, Rebecca. I don’t care if it’s not part of the plan.”

“So… You’re actually dating?”

You hum. “Yes.”

There’s a tense few moments. The sound of rustling papers comes down the line, and Tom tries to ease you by rolling his thumb over the back of your hand. He can see the nerves in your shoulders, understands that for you, the prospect of being scolded, and possibly even dropped by your management is terrifying. He knows just as well as you how much power they have over you.

“Okay.” Rebecca sighs. “Tom?”

“Yes?”

“You’ll take care of Y/N in London?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” There’s a brief moment’s pause. “I’ll get someone from the office to call you tomorrow, Y/N. You’ll need to come back to LA to shoot your next film, but I don’t see why that needs to be immediately.”

A relieved smile splits across your face, and Tom exhales.

“Thank you, Rebecca,” you say. You lean down to rest your forehead on Tom’s shoulder, and he rubs a hand over your back. “Thanks for understanding.”

“Well, it’s the least I can do,” she responds. “Congratulations, you two. For what it’s worth, I think you make a lovely couple.”

The line disconnects and Tom grins, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you impossibly closer. You squeal as he nuzzles his face into your shoulder, kissing the base of your neck over and over again. He works his way up to your lips, pausing briefly only to suck a light hickey just below your ear, and by the time he reaches your mouth, you’re pushing back against him, eager.

“I can’t believe that this has worked out,” he says. Tom lets you pad your thumb through his ruffled eyebrow.

“Neither,” you admit. “Feels almost anti-climactic. Every other part of this relationship has been so dramatic.”

“Oh, don’t tempt fate,” Tom says, eyes wide. “We’ve had enough drama.”

You laugh, nodding in fast agreement. “You certainly have a point there.”

You crack open a few beers and end up chatting in the kitchen together, the hours slipping away. Tom sits across from you, holding your hand as you talk, and talk, and talk, covering every topic beneath the sun. There have been so many taboo subjects that neither of you have felt confident enough to bring up over the course of your fake relationship, and you take the time to work them through - together.

Tom finally admits that he’s had a crush on you since you first met. You tell him that you’d only suggested the one night stand because you’d wanted to be close to him. He counters that by opening up about how stressed he’d been before his failed revelation of love.

You laugh together, you cry together. Then you move on, together.

“C’mon, Tom.” You stand up, smiling, and walk around the table to pull him up. Tom gets to his feet, his body full of a nice, lulling buzz from the beers he’d drank. You lean in and peck his cheek before tugging him towards the patio doors. “It’s too hot in here, isn’t it?”

Tom hums. He can feel the red flush to his cheeks. “We could go shower.”

You turn around to grin at him. “Or…” Dropping his hand, you twirl the lock on the patio doors and pull them open. You look back at Tom, smiling. “Care to take a dance in the rain with me, lover?”

Tom blinks a few times, looking at you curiously. “Sure,” he agrees. As you pull off your hoodie, he pulls out his phone and then turns on one of the bluetooth speakers that sits by the door. “What do you want to listen to?”

“Something romantic,” you respond.

There’s a frown of concentration on Tom’s face as he scrolls through his Spotify, but it clears when he finds a playlist of some classic love songs. He shuffles it and Elvis drifts through the air as he puts down his phone and shakes off his hoodie.

“This is very random,” he tells you, accepting your hand. You tug him out onto the patio, into the night sky, and Tom feels his t-shirt begin to dampen. It’s no longer pouring with rain, but it’s still drizzling enough to be noticeable.

“Well, I had a reason,” you murmur. Together, you do a bit of a dance. Tom grins as you spin around, laughing brightly as droplets of water stick to your face. You have fun for a while, and you even spin Tom around too, but then you both get dizzy and settle back into a loose slow-dance position, your arms around his neck as Tom perches his hands on your waist. Your foreheads press together. “I used to think about this,” you admit.

“Dancing in the rain?”

“No, no.” You pause to kiss him. Your lips are warm against his skin. “We’d used to see one another at all the shows. Oscars, BAFTA, Golden Globes… And we’d argue, or brood, and just generally be miserable.”

“I’m following.”

“Well.” You shift your face into the crook of Tom’s shoulder, kissing his neck a few times. “I always wondered what it’d be like to sneak off with you, and just… Have fun. Do something crazy. Have a couple drinks and dance. I didn’t… I didn’t like you, but I always thought we’d be able to have fun together. If you weren’t always such a dick.”

Tom hums, resting a hand on the back of your head. Raindrops pour down his face, but it’s nice. He can feel the weight of his heart pouring onto the ground, swept away with the water.

“Well, I hope we can have many fun nights together, love.”

You pull back to look up at him, water droplets clinging to your eyelashes. Both of your hands shift to Tom’s face, and you smile. It really is very romantic, swaying together in the rain, soft romantic tones in the air. You feel so warm wrapped up in his arms.

“I hope so too.” You have mascara running down your cheeks. “Plenty more nights in London like this, please.”

Tom nods. “Plenty more nights together.” He brings you back in, hand soft on the back of your head as you bury your face in his chest. Tom lets his lips rest against your head. “I love you,” he says. He can’t seem to stop saying it, thinks you must be fed up with the number of times he’s sprinkled the three special words into conversation. He just can’t help it. Now he’s open with his heart, he wants you to know, completely and without any shred of doubt, that he loves you. He never wants you to question it again.

Your hands sink into his hair, and Tom sighs happily as you play with his wet curls.

“Love you too.”

The two of you last another ten minutes before getting too cold, and then you take a shower together. Tom lays you down in his bed and you kiss some more, before things get a little raunchier. He tells you that he loves you in every way he can, and it feels like the two of you have knitted your souls together as he holds you afterwards, the bedroom full of a tranquil glow.

Tom’s hand is on your cheek, fingers stroking gently over the soft skin of your face. You look so beautiful, hair a mess, eyes bright.

“Isn’t it funny,” you say, softly, “how we’ve ended up like this?”

Tom hums, his pinky nudging against your hair. “We’re lucky. Such a mad world we live in.”

You release a warm chuckle, nodding. “Our world is crazy. Fame is… Insane.” You pause for a moment. “It’s the whole reason this happened. Management wanted me to stay on top, didn’t want my image to get shattered because of that kiss. They wanted me to win the game.”

Tom tilts his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“The fame game,” you reply, smiling. You inch nearer to kiss him quickly, and Tom finds himself chasing your lips. For a few moments, you’re both distracted, and you further intertwine, Tom’s arms hooking around your waist as he holds you close.

“The fame game,” Tom repeats, nose nudging yours. “That’s a funny way to put it.”

You shrug. “Just the way I like to think about it. Making it seem like a game made it easier when this started. It was all just a performance until it became real.”

“I like that.”

“Me too.” Your hands are on his shoulders, fingers trailing Tom’s warm skin. “The game always has its winners and its losers, Tom.”

“And what are we?”

You kiss him, softly. Your lips linger against his. Tom feels so much gratitude and love for you that his eyes prick with tears.

“The winners, of course.”

↠ EPILOGUE

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #i feel so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #yes i cried. and what about it. #tfg #y/n #y/n use #self insert #self-insert

[jetaime-jespere]

Prompt #130/164

130 & 164 fit well together as kind of a “two parter”.

Oh my god! You’re in love with her! Why can’t they see they’re meant for each other?

Despite the image he maintains with relative ease, David Rossi wouldn’t consider himself an expert in love. Far from it, actually. After all, he’s been divorced three times, each one a bit more dramatic than the previous. He’s broken hearts as many times as his own has broken. It’s a relentless cycle that has made him overwhelmingly astute, the kind of wisdom that comes from years of experience.

He’s undoubtedly charming, knows his way around a wine cellar, and can woo even the most jaded of women.

Love, however, is a different story.

But if there’s one thing he prides himself on, it’s calling it when he sees it. As he’s learned over time, love is sometimes inconvenient, usually impractical, and something is always lingering in the shadows to tear it apart. It’s a test of survival, one he’s failed many a time.

Those years of experience are how he comes to the conclusion that Aaron Hotchner is head over heels in love with Emily Prentiss. He’s annoyed at himself for not calling it sooner, for not seeing the signs. Because today was one hell of a sign, and as he walks away from the crime scene, his heart pumps just a little faster, a bead of sweat lingering on his brow. A sign that was just a little too close for his comfort.

They’re in Boston this time, having been called in to catch a killer targeting brunettes in nightclubs. And as day two blends into day three without much more than a tentative profile and preferred location, they have to take a different approach. One Dave should have seen coming.

It’d been Emily’s idea to go under, posing as a potential target, one Aaron disagreed with from the beginning. Dave had watched him shoot her down immediately, an utter disregard that bordered on downright rude in front of half the Boston PD. It wasn’t the curtness of his voice that got his attention, or the way he held up his hand as if to shush her when her mouth opened to question his directive. It wasn’t that. It was concern, maybe even a touch of fear he’d seen in their normally unflappable Unit Chief. He’s met with Emily’s fury, an anger that radiates through her eyes, her arms curling across her chest in defiance.

But they have no other option, because catching a nightclub killer isn’t going to be easy, as Emily reminds him, unwilling to back down. It’s a good plan, she suggests, because she fits the bill and knows the profile.Aaron’s face darkens at the prospect. “He’ll walk right into our trap,” she reasons before it’s almost a done deal, and she changes into the slinky emerald green dress that somehow appears from nowhere.  

Dave has an inkling his reluctance goes beyond more than just simple concern for a subordinate just moments before they leave for the club. When sees her angrily stalking away from him, wearing that green dress that turns every head in the station, her hair fixed and fully made up, he knows there’s something between them. Something that’s been going on for awhile now. Aaron follows behind her, his mouth pressed into an angry line and his jaw set. His eyes don’t even linger on the dress - which suggests he’s seen it on her before. The only question is when that was.

“Disagreement?” Dave attempts with discretion as Emily disappears around a corner, her spine stiff and her shoulders squared.

He says nothing in return, only fastens the FBI vest around his waist, a sign of his defeat.

But as it turns out, in the end, Aaron was right, and Dave isn’t sure he wants to know all the details of just how he finds him bent over their unsub, menacing with a gun in his face less than two hours later. The Boston PD swarms around them too, their own weapons drawn in preparation. Aaron is seething, hissing that it’s over, an expletive falling from his lips.

“Hotch,” is what Dave says evenly, almost pleasantly, because what he recognizes in his face is rage. Rage for the fact that Emily was found with maybe seconds to spare before things went from bad to worse, with two broken ribs, a badly sprained ankle, a fractured cheekbone from being pummeled in the face. “We’ve got him. Go.”

When he escorts their unsub into a police car - a man whose name isn’t even worth uttering - he spies Aaron hovering around the open doors of an ambulance, mere inches away from Emily’s side. She’s bleeding at the knees, her face already swollen, as she’s loaded into the ambulance en route to a Boston hospital. They got lucky tonight, as they often do, but this one carries a little more weight. For more reasons than one.

...

The bar is where he finds Aaron after they get back from the hospital hours later, everyone in just a few more pieces than they’d been when arriving. There’s a drink in his hand and an empty glass beside it, suggesting he’s been here a bit longer than Dave originally thought. The clock on the wall approaches 2 AM.

“Shouldn’t you be with her right now?” He asks, taking the empty stool at his side. “Didn’t think I’d find you here.”

“JJ has it under control,” Aaron says stiffly, clearly not ready to elaborate any further because things are clearly still rocky. “I shouldn’t have ever agreed to send her under.”

“Did you actually think you’d have a choice?” The bartender brings another round for them both, and he nods a quick thanks. “Emily is … well, Emily.”

“I could have taken her off the case. But then I wouldn’t have been objective. What I did was based strictly on my own feelings.” It’s as close a confession as he’ll get out of him, so Dave takes a chance.

“How long have you been seeing each other?”

“Three months,” Aaron says honestly, maybe a bit too forthcoming, but that’s probably the alcohol talking. Has it been that long? Clearly by now, Dave knows their little secret. “She’s a little out of my league, don’t you think?” He scrubs a hand over his eyes, his face lined with exhaustion and stress, the emotional turmoil that comes with nearly losing someone you love.

“My God,” Dave whistles, the whiskey burning his throat and quieting the voice in his head that reminds him just how close she got today. He suddenly wishes he had a cigar. “You’re in love with her,” he adds quietly. It’s a statement, not a question.

Aaron swallows tightly, nods. “Is it that obvious?”

His face cracks into the slightest of grins. “No. I’ve just been around long enough to tell.”

...

The flight home from Boston is uncomfortably quiet. It’s like everyone knows to stay out of Aaron’s way, giving him space once they’ve boarded the plane. He gets on last, staying a safe distance away from Emily, even though he keeps a protective eye on her at all times. She’s on crutches for the next week - the ankle sprain was worse than they’d originally thought, and she curses under her breath as she maneuvers clumsily down the narrow aisle. Whatever went down between them in Boston is clearly still brewing, and Dave is glad they’re all headed to the sanctuary of their own homes. He says a silent prayer for whichever set of neighbors have the good fortune of listening to the argument that will most likely materialize once they’re back in Virginia.

“I’m fine,” Emily says firmly once she’s seated with her foot elevated on the seat across from her, ignoring the sympathetic smiles from Morgan and Reid, their offers to keep her comfortable. “Everyone please stop looking at me like I’m going to break into pieces.” Emily grumbles, clearly exasperated, gripping the armrests as she takes a few steadying deep breaths. From the corner of his eye, Dave watches her pop a pain pill, chase it down with some water, and stare at the ceiling for a few long moments.

Aaron settles not too far away, and it only takes a few minutes before they’re staring daggers at one another, a wordless duel laced with the remnants of previous arguments. It’s palpable, hanging in the air like a cloying smoke. Being in their vicinity finally gets too uncomfortable; he awkwardly shuffles down the aisle a few seats back, finding JJ in one of the seats with a book in her lap. She barely acknowledges him, just a little half smile as she stares at the pages, and it soon becomes painfully obvious she’s not even reading the words.

“You gonna turn the page anytime soon? You’ve been on -” Dave leans over to confirm - “page 177 for the last fifteen minutes.”

“Why can’t they see they’re meant for each other?” JJ mutters under her breath next to him. it’s meant for only him to hear, Dave does a double take, making sure he heard correctly. She catches him immediately, smirking behind her fist. “What? I don’t believe for a second you don’t know about what’s going on between the two of them.

He holds up both hands innocently, hoping it's convincing. “I know nothing.”

“Lie to me again, Rossi, and I’ll ask Strauss why she comes to your office every night when she thinks we’ve all gone home.” JJ snaps the book shut, tossing it to the side. “Now,” she says, lowering her voice. “Tell me what you know.”

#hotchniss fanfiction #prompts #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #and rossi because he's the captain of the Hotchniss ship and I can't be convinced otherwise #hotchniss

[adultingautistic]

Do you think is it an autistic thing not want to eat during what's likely a shutdown/meltdown? Even samefoods is hard to accept and I don't feel the energy to cook the stuff I love to cook. I just wanna stay in bed, but my head doesn't seem to be here. I don't have the energy to order food online too. Any tips in how to handle all this?

Ask date: September 12th

Do you think is it an autistic thing not want to eat during what's likely a shutdown/meltdown? YES!  Yes, absolutely!  

Even samefoods is hard to accept and I don't feel the energy to cook the stuff I love to cook. I just wanna stay in bed, but my head doesn't seem to be here. I don't have the energy to order food online too. Okay so now that you’ve described this further, this is not meltdown/shutdown, this is autistic burnout, which can absolutely happen after a meltdown/shutdown is over (though you don’t have to have a meltdown/shutdown in order to reach burnout).

So let me go through the difference between these terms, and then I’ll address your question about eating (because that’s a very important question).

I’m sure you’ve heard of the survival response called “fight-or-flight”.  This means that when an animal is in danger, their brain has to process the best way to react to that danger- to fight it, or to run from it. It’s not just humans who react this way, almost all animals experience this, that’s how basic of an instinct it is.

This simplified view is a little misleading, because there is a third option, which many animals also choose and I’m sure you’ve seen them do- freeze.

So it’s not really “fight-or-flight”, it’s “fight, flight, or freeze”.  And these are the 3 options that ANY brain, from a fish to a human, will go through when we are in danger.  This is instinct survival, it is instinct.

Now humans normally have much more complex thoughts than this.  We have evolved the ability to make many more decisions.  For example, if a thief broke into someone’s house, that person might try to reason with the thief instead.  Talk them out of it.  Or promise to not call the police if you just don’t hurt me.  We have incredible capacity for finding solutions and creative thinking.

But when a human brain reaches overload, that means our critical thinking part of our brain is unable to work.  Overload means exactly what it sounds like- your brain is too full, from trying to process sensory input and/or emotions that are too much, and it has no thinking power left for critical thoughts.  Overload can happen to any human brain- but the situation has to be VERY EXTREME for it to happen to allistics (such as war).  Autistics are different, in that we can reach overload in daily life, from daily activities.

So when a brain reaches this level of overload, it switches from “complex thinking human” into “simple animal instinct”.  This triggers the “fight, flight, or freeze” response.  If your brain selected fight or flight, this is a meltdown.  If your brain selected freeze, this is a shutdown.

So here’s an example of a meltdown, and what it looks like.  Warning for disturbing descriptions of a meltdown, and if you think the following italic section might be upsetting to you, don’t read it.

You’re sitting on your couch, watching TV. You’re wearing clothes that you like how they look, but they’re slightly uncomfortable. Your “overload” bar is at 10/100, everything is fine. Your mom walks into the room and starts talking. Your brain is now trying to listen to both the TV and your mom.  Your overload bar is at 30/100, you’re slightly frustrated but you’re getting by.  While your mom is talking, your dad starts cooking something and a Bad Smell comes out of the kitchen.  This sensory input of smell competes with the sensory input of the two sounds going into your brain, and your brain struggles to process them.  Your overload bar is now at 70/100, and you’re very stressed.  Your brain suddenly can’t process the uncomfortable clothes you’re wearing.  You realize just how itchy and horrible they really are and you need to get them off, but your mom won’t stop talking.  The smell won’t stop smelling.  The TV won’t stop noising.  Then your brother walks in the room and makes that Bad Sound he does when he clears his throat.  You are at 100/100, your brain can’t handle ANY of this anymore.  Your brain is DESPERATE to MAKE IT STOP, make any of it stop.  You start screaming for your mom to shut up and you rip your shirt off.  She reacts badly and tries to make you put it back on, touching you, which is another sensory input.  Your brain is ready to fight for survival.  You kick, scream, cry, and try to get away.  Fighting isn’t working so your brain switches to running.  You run into your room and slam the door.

You are safe.  The Bad Sensory Inputs have stopped, and you are able to think again. Your “overload bar” is down to 80. The meltdown is OVER.  It is over, because you can think again.  

So that is a meltdown.  So no, a person is not going to be eating during a meltdown- because they are in survival mode.  They are fighting or running.  Those are the only actions a person in a meltdown is able to do.  They are certainly not going to be able to eat, or cook, or make phone calls.

So what you described sounds like burnout, which can happen after a meltdown/shutdown is over.  Going through overload is exhausting,  it is absolutely draining, it depletes your energy probably for the rest of the day, and perhaps for many days.  After an overload, a person can exhibit the symptoms you described- such as being much too exhausted even to get out of bed.  Of course you are!  You are recovering!  Your body and mind have just gone through a horrific ordeal, and you need to recover, which means you need to rest.  

During burnout, an autistic brain is more suceptible to becoming overloaded again.  THings that you can normally handle are not handle-able right now.  You need to protect yourself, desperately, from any more sensory input- and guess what is a HUGE source of sensory input? Eating.  Eating involves all 5 senses at once.  It takes a LOT of brain processing power to handle eating, and if you’re in burnout from having just come out of overload, it makes total sense that your brain is not able to handle all the sensory inputs from eating.

So after that extremely long explanation, what’s my advice?  My advice is that during burnout, you need to protect your brain AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE from ANY bad sensory inputs.  Even things you can normally handle, do not force your brain to deal with it in this situation.  If you can’t get out of bed then stay in bed.  You need to rest.  You need to let your brain recover.

If this goes on for a long time, and you become very hungry, then eat whatever.  WHATEVER seems the easiest to eat.  I mean candy.  I mean chips.  Snacks.  I don’t care what it is.  It’s not important right now to force yourself to eat this or that- your brain can’t handle it, but your body needs energy, so eat WHATEVER.

Once you have truly recovered from the overload, and are able to get out of bed again, then you can do things like ordering real food, or eating samefoods.  But be gentle with your poor brain.  It has just gone through an experience that allistic brains only go through under extreme circumstances like war.  That’s how tired you are.  It’s okay to miss a meal if you don’t feel like it. If you’re hungry, eat whatever.

If you find yourself being in a burnout state repeatedly, over a long period of time, then you need to take steps to remove overload situations from your life.  You cannot live like this for a long period of time.  Autistic burnout is very serious and the symptoms mirror depression.  So if you find yourself in an autistic burnout state often, you must make changes to your life to reduce the chances of you becoming overloaded.

I know this was a really long post, but I felt this was a very important topic, and it was an extremely good question, so I wanted to give it the attention it deserved.

You are a beautiful, important person, and you deserve to be taken care of, so please be the person who takes care of you.  Be gentle and kind to yourself.  Protect your brain from the things that overload it, whatever they are, so that it can do its job.

#actuallyautistic #actually autistic #meltdown #shutdown #overload #autistic burnout #eating #samefoods #ask

[severetimetravelnerd]

Let’s Switch Things Up (ft. MINO) (2)

Part 2

Minho just keeps surprising you.

A/N: Heyy! So this is my new series, that I’ll be updating every Thursday. All images I’ve used in this moodboard that I’ve made are just representative of the emotions, not the way the reader looks :))  Please show this lots of love!

Comment if you’d like to be added to the taglist.

Taglist:   @herewecomeitsjekki  ; @kwonnansi ; @happiestgirlontheeastcoast ; @unabashedturkeytreeslim; @to-all-the-stories-i-love​

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know!

Word Count: 2028

Warnings: Suggestive, snarky? Mentions of cheating

——————————————————————————————————-

He paused and blinked a few times.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you right. What did you just say?”

You laughed.

“You heard me right. I’m attending my ex’s wedding. And he’s marrying my friend who he cheated on me with.”

He tilted his head to the side.

“I don’t understand.”

You laughed again, a little more bitterly.

“Yeah, neither do I. I’m only going because of my best friends.”

“What do you mean?”

“This is the first time in ages we’ll get to meet in person.” Your eyes softened. “And I really miss them.”

The guy had a light smile on his face.

“I get it now.”

“It’s just that… I know I will be made fun of for not having a plus one.”

You shook your head at his raised brows.

“Yeah, a lot of my old classmates can be mean.”

He inched a little closer.

“Could you tell me what happened? Only if you’re okay with it, of course.”

You shrugged.

“Yeah sure, I don’t mind talking about it.”

You took a sip of water and began.

“So, all of this happened two years ago. We had been dating for three years. And I knew that something was off. It was understandable. He was very busy with his job and I was busy with mine. We weren’t getting time to spend with each other. And every time I tried, it seemed like he would try his best to get out of it.”

You smiled sadly.

“I know. I should have seen the signs. But he was my longest relationship. And we had been friends for years before dating. I trusted him. When he told me that he’d have to spend two months abroad for work, he wasn’t lying and I didn’t doubt him. At that point, things were just really strained and he was very stressed. So, to make things a little easier for him, I introduced him to my friend who lived in the city he’d be working in.”

You paused, grip on your dress tightening slightly. You didn’t notice that he noticed.

“And from there, it’s pretty obvious what happened. Soon, he started ditching my calls saying he was busy. He just never told me he was busy with her. And then, one long weekend, when I flew over to surprise him, I found her in his bed.”

He surprised you when he reached over to hold your hand, gently rubbing his thumb across your knuckles. You stared at him for a bit, trying to gauge whether he was trying to make a move on you or whether he was just being nice. Looking at his eyes, your heart melted a little. He was definitely just being nice.

“Yeah. I really should have seen it coming. But I didn’t. I saw them together and walked straight back out and took a flight back home. I packed up all my stuff and left home for Seoul.”

“You just packed up and left?”

“Yup. Needed a change of scene. I couldn’t deal with being in that apartment anymore.”

He nodded.

“I understand.”

He didn’t really understand, because everything seemed too sudden for him, but somehow for you, who just started talking to a stranger on a plane who seemed scared, it fit. He looked down at his hand. He didn’t know what possessed him to hold your hand, but again, it just seemed right, even if it was something he had never done before. He found himself opening his mouth to ask you something.

“So, they’re getting married now?”

“Yeah. And it’s not a normal wedding. They had to make it an all-expenses paid wedding that goes on for literally three days.”

“Okay. Wow.”

“Yeah.”

And although you looked perfectly content, something told him that you were upset. Again, he didn’t know what he was doing, because he just wasn’t an impulsive or spontaneous person, but he found himself retracting his hand to shake yours. You looked up with an eyebrow raised.

“Hi. I’m Song Minho and I’d be more than happy to be your plus one for this wedding.”

You widened your eyes.

“Oh. Oh wow. Are you sure? You don’t have to if”-

He shook his head. You studied his face for a few seconds before grinning.

“Hi then Minho! I’m Y/N L/N. And I’d love to have you as my plus one.”

---

“So, tell me a bit more about your ex and his fiancé. I don’t want to be clueless when I meet these … interesting people.”

You nodded and whipped out your phone, pulling up some old photos.

“Okay, so I know this is a group picture, but he’s the shirtless one in an apron and she’s the one holding a cake.”

Minho’s jaw got ever so slightly tense when he realised how alone you were in the picture. Sure, your ex’s hands may have been draped over your thighs, but you were struggling to keep a smile on your face. It was so obviously fake. And your ex was so obviously unbothered by it.

“Ah okay. What’re their names?”

“Andy and Liza.”

“Okay, tell me more. How did you meet?”

“Oh right. We were in high school together. At that point, we were just friends, but when we ended up working the same part time job in college, things started changing and one day, after months of flirting, he made me a cake with the icing saying, “Will you go out with me?””

Minho forced a smile.

“Hmmm romantic.”

“It was. It really was. He wasn’t always that bad. He…just got incredibly forgetful over the years.”

Again, Minho found himself saying something he never would.

“So basically, he took you for granted?”

You paused, stunned for a moment.

“Yeah, yeah he did.”

There was a moment’s silence before you turned to him.

“Okay, so if we’re going together, we have to know basic things about each other. So… how do you feel about twenty questions?”

Minho hated twenty questions, but he nodded anyway.

---

An hour or so later, you pouted as Minho helped you with your bags.

“We weren’t done with the game though.”

He finally managed to get the last of his bags and started walking towards the exit with you.

“I know, but don’t worry. We can figure this out once we get to the hotel.”

“Thank you so much Minho. I honestly can’t explain how much it means to me, especially since you’re here on vacation.”

“No, don’t worry about it. My friend was a little busy for the next few days anyway.”

Lies. You would soon learn that whenever his left eye twitched, he was lying.

“No, but still”-

“Y/N!”

You froze. You’d recognise that voice anywhere. Before you could react, you felt Andy’s arms wrap around you as he hugged you.

“Y/N! I’m so glad you could come!

Minho stiffened when he noticed how uncomfortable you were with Andy’s overfamiliarity. Minho didn’t like him. Something about his behaviour with you was odd. Liza also hugged a visibly uncomfortable you and smiled.

“Y/N! The reason this is all happening!”

Your fake smile slipped. And that was when Minho couldn’t watch this anymore. Again, he found himself doing something he would never otherwise do. He walked forward, wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer.

“Hi. You must be the happy couple.”

Your tense body relaxed a little when you heard his voice and felt his arm around you, which was odd. You always took a while to warm up to strangers. Andy’s expression tensed though.

“And you are?”

Minho stuck out his hand.

“I’m her boyfriend.”

Your breath hitched for a second and a light blush spread across your cheeks. You had been planning on introducing him as a close friend. Oh well.

Andy took his hand and smiled a visibly forced smile.

“Oh, I didn’t know she was seeing someone.”

His grip on Minho’s hand tightened.

Minho’s eyebrows shot up. Oh. So, Andy was that kind of guy. The one who felt oddly possessive over his girlfriends no matter how badly he treated them. Scum.

Minho’s grip tightened even more.

“Well, I doubt you know much about her anyway.”

Your eyes shot up from your fake smile to stare at Minho in shock. You did not see snarky Minho coming.

Andy just stood there for a minute with his eyes wide. He couldn’t believe what he heard. When he finally got around to reacting, Minho had already moved on to shaking Liza’s hand and offering her a smile. It was fake, and you knew this because every time he had smiled at you, with that ridiculously adorable smile that just lit up his whole face, you found yourself melting. Andy, however, interrupted your thoughts. In a mocking tone, he asked,

“I’ve known Y/N for 8 years. How long have you known her for?”

You glared at Andy, and wrapped your hand in Minho’s, prepared to leave and apologise to Minho about Andy’s behaviour later, when Minho replied in a tone of pure ice.

“Long enough to know her worth.”

Your jaw dropped. Liza’s smile was long gone and Andy was practically red with anger. So was Minho. On the outside, he seemed calm, cool and collected, but he hated the way Andy treated you and felt so entitled to your kindness. The way he treated you when you were so clearly uncomfortable was just the tipping point. A smile tugged at your lips, even though you made a half-hearted attempt to glare at Minho. He pulled you a little closer, shooting you the smile that made you lose track of thought.

Andy was furious and it was clear Minho wasn’t going to back down. It was also clear that you weren’t going to do anything to stop Minho. It wasn’t like Minho was lying about something. You were at an impasse. So, when Liza awkwardly suggested they show you guys to your room in the hotel, everyone jumped at that chance.

Half an hour later, the four of you walked in awkward silence as Liza led you to your room. She offered you a genuine smile.

“Here you go Y/N. We picked one of the pool facing rooms because you like those.”

You struggled, but smiled back at her. It was their wedding. You were not going to be unnecessarily mean.

You and Minho walked in and when you saw the large bed in the middle of the room, your eyebrows shot up. Natasha, one of the two friends you had really missed, told you that all the rooms had two beds. 

“Why is there only one damn bed here?”

Minho blushed and looked away, but you jumped when you heard Andy.

“Why? Is sharing a bed a problem?”

You turned around to find Andy right behind you, about to lean on your shoulder. Before you could even react though, Minho stepped in between.

“No, absolutely not a problem.”

“Oh yeah? Then why did she sound so annoyed?”

Both you and Liza were glaring at Andy, though for very different reasons.

Minho closed his eyes for a second and decided to just go for it. No matter what happened, he would not let Andy bother you any more than he already had. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close.

“We had a bit of an argument before getting here. But we’ll be fine, right babe?”

If you thought your heart was beating fast because he called you ‘babe’, when you looked up at him and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead, you thought it would burst out of your chest.

His hand slipped a little lower, from your waist to your hips and played with the knot holding your dress up. He had the most wicked smirk on his face when he mumbled,

“Besides, these things have a way of working themselves out, right princess?”

Andy let out disgusted snort, grabbed Liza’s hand and stomped off, but you didn’t register any of that. You could only register the look in Minho’s eyes and the way your knees were weakening. Did…did you like him?

-----------------

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Any unlawful and unauthorized sharing of these works will result in legal action.

(Reblogs are good :) )

#mino angst #mino fluff #mino x reader #mino series #winner x reader #winner series #mino crack #winner crack #winner angst #winner fluff

[variousqueerthings]

thinking about these awesome tags from @catzy88​ and wanted to just speak to essentially what they talk about and one of my favourite writing choices of the show (so far, considering my predictions for what’ll happen moving forward):

and it’s Johnny’s two-steps-forward-one-step (sometimes several steps) -back journey. 

1. Introduction

there’s a few of things that happen on the show that get wrapped up in a semi-fantastical/wish-fulfilmenty way (Miguel recovering from his back injury like he does, Daniel sorting out his dealership problems with Doyona, etc.) and I’m not mad about it, it fits in with the generally optimistic tone of the show + various circumstances that surround these choices, so they’re not one-note writing decisions - 

ex. aftermath of Miguel’s surgery will continue to be explored on s4 so it’s not done and over with without consequences versus the way Daniel’s journey to Okinawa is about healing in various ways, so that deus ex machina fits in with the tone of that storyline. People’s mileage probably vary, but I think it’s all relatively well-balanced (pun not intended) with the deeper, less-easily-fixable issues and character dynamics that the show explores.

2. Johnny’s Story

If everything on this show were easy it wouldn’t be so watchable. Which is where Johnny comes in (amongst other characters, but I’m gonna focus).

in contrast Johnny’s journey for three seasons has had a lot of good intentions - help Miguel, get his life in order, forgive and forget the past, mend his relationship with Robby, be generally better to himself and others - and the majority of it’s gone pretty badly. 

I have predictions that there’ll be a flip in s4 and Daniel’s going to spiral more obviously, while Johnny’s going to be healing/functioning somewhat better. I also think it’s important to show him failing despite being in a better place than end season 2/beginning season 3. And failing again. And failing again. 

Johnny (and Daniel, but I shall focus!) doesn’t come onto this show with easily fixed issues. He’s likely been an alcoholic since he was in his 20s, he’s isolated to the extreme, he can’t hold down a job, he’s still under the thumb of his stepdad, and his relationship to Robby is non-existent at best. 

In 100 different ways he’s trapped and he’s so trapped that he can’t even envision being less trapped. Starting the dojo is a fluke, combined by meeting and saving Miguel and wanting to spite Daniel. He’s not planning on “getting better,” hell, he doesn’t even think that he has a problem that can be fixed to begin with. Up until this moment life has largely just happened to him and his decisions have been reactionary (and if there were times we don’t know about before now where he tried, he obviously failed)

His thinking clearly goes something like this: “I’ll make this kid not get beat up... and I guess now I’ve got a business so I need other kids? and now I care about this kid I guess, oh and his mom’s pretty nice (and pretty) too... and now I’ve got a business I can buy Sid out, that’s cool... ” etcetcetc. (still reactionary to an extent, although that gradually changes) right up until the tournament happens and he starts to have to face some of the shit he’s been telling these kids and Robby’s with Daniel and Kreese has reappeared...

I’d argue it’s not until mid-ish season 2, when Kreese reveals he’s homeless and Johnny decides that their forgiveness is tied into one another and especially when Tommy dies (still got one thing I don’t... time) that he actually really starts thinking about what all of this means for him longterm, that he can and should want for the future and that he has real responsibilities to do so because of others. It’s also the first time he properly admits that it’s not just “the tournament as a single event,” but the whole philosophy that he was taught that fucked him up (which is scary, because then he’s gotta admit a whole bunch of other stuff - that he has deep-rooted issues and that he needs to try to get better. That he’s both a victim and a perpetrator of this cycle. That just saying things are shit and won’t ever change won’t cut it anymore).

And just as he begins this thought-process and is incredibly vulnerable because of that everything goes to hell.

All of the structures Johnny had been building were on sand, right up to the choice to handshake deal on the dojo, and they all come crashing down spectacularly all at once in the season 2 finale.

Back to square one.

3. Square one (but not really)

This is amazing! It’s giving us a narrative on top of the more fantasy-like narratives that goes: “Not everything can be fixed easily just because we want to fix them,” and, “some things need to fail so that the next time you try, you try better!”

It’s not square one at all. 

A whole bunch of shit that Johnny was carrying with him without being able to voice in the first season is now out there, in the open. The ugliness needs to be exposed before it can be healed and (as myself and so many people who’re dealing with xy and z know) when you first “discover” what’s fucked up you can feel like everything’s worse. Your ability to deal with that thing can get a whole lot worse. 

Johnny relapses into a version of himself that on the surface looks even worse than in s1, but actually he’s way more open to change, he’s got reasons to get back up again, even if it takes a moment for him to pull himself together to actually do that. It takes pretty much all of season 3 for him to get there (and that was necessary too), but now he’s there he can start from a much stronger place than he previously did.

And there’s so much he’s still not facing - can you imagine the fallout when he has to deal with being an alcoholic? 

Johnny as a character has made so many mistakes (note: I’m not a fan of using the word “fault” as a descriptor for characters (as in “whose fault is X”) because they’re fictional and it’s more about motivations than tracing faults) and those mistakes make a whole lot of sense to his character - a broke, drunk, traumatized guy with more failings under his belt than you can count. 

I confess, I’m not sure how I feel about him not visiting Robby in juvie from a writing perspective, however it’s on the show, so now we get to analyse how it can make sense - which, considering that Johnny isn’t good at prioritising - and as an ADHD that’s a mood - it can totally work. Is it very bad? Yes. Does it sound like something Johnny would do when faced between an easy-fix of his relationship with the Diaz family and his much more difficult and complicated relationship with Robby? Sigh, yeah... unfortunately parenting Robby is the biggest fear he has... it’s not pretty, but it’s not meant to be...

4. Anyway, TL;DR 

I’d have felt cheated if Johnny could just magically “become” better - both mentally and in his relationships to others. He’s made big mistakes, has a lot of unresolved mental health issues, and - ironically - has chosen flight over fight for so much of his life that “simply wanting to become better” being  enough of a motivator to change all of that around would’ve been unrealistic for his character and unsatisfying for a longterm plot in which we see how difficult it is and (hopefully) get to revel in the continued upwards journey despite that.

Also it would’ve been kind of insulting to these journeys in real life (to do a little conflating for a moment). 

Trying to make good is admirable, but it sure isn’t easy and it won’t always work, especially if you don’t know where to even start.

The joy of his story is in seeing someone continue to try despite that.

#johnny lawrence #cobra kai #robby keene #cobra kai meta #my writing #oh hey I wrote just straight-up meta without going halfway narrative about it #ramblerambleramble #i love characters who fuck up over and over again

[chaseatinydream]

sly san who sacrifices (iv) || c.s (atz)

➳ pairing: reader x choi san (ateez)

➳ word count: 1948

➳ genre: badboy au; fluff; angst

➳ synopsis: to the school, he may be a bad boy, the worst of the worst, but to you, he’s choi san, father of three cats, your best friend and ultimately, the boy you’re in love with.

>>>

You and San sit beneath the ivy covered frames, a thick book in your lap as you flip through the pages, thoroughly engrossed in the story. Above you, golden warmth touches your cheeks and falls onto the aged paper of one of your favourite novels while San snoozes on the tabletop opposite you, head resting on his forearms. Sighing, you put your book down for a moment to look at San, admire how peaceful he looks when he’s asleep, the world slowing down and fading all around you, universe reduced to only you and him.

“I love San.”

Your fingers grip the material of your shirt, as if you could reach through your very chest and relieve the phantom ache of your heart. San is unimaginably dear to you and the truth is like a raging sea, locked deep in your body. Seonghwa had told you that San truly did love you too with every fibre of his being and you want to believe the older man so badly, but fear digs its claws deep into you and you can’t help but wonder…

What if he doesn’t love you like you love him?

That thought scares you like nothing else.

“One caramel frappe and and a mocha latte.”

You’re pulled from your thoughts by the voice of the waiter as he sets two drinks before you on the tabletop. Your eyes widen slightly at the extra order and you frown, glancing upwards to look at the waiter. “I’m sorry, but we didn’t order the mocha lat-”

“No, I did.” San cuts in smoothly and you start in surprise, you thought he’d been fast asleep. You’re stunned for a moment, cocking your head curiously to look at your best friend as he reaches for the hot drink. San busies himself with stirring the contents of the cup for a while, but your gaze doesn’t let up and he sighs, raising a hand to close your mouth for you. “Close your mouth or you’ll catch flies.”

You shut your mouth, but you’re still staring at him in confusion as you reach for your own drink. “But… we always share a frappe.” You mumble, near petulantly. It shouldn’t mean so much, it’s only a drink, of all things, but it does to you. The two of you have always shared the same drink every time you’ve come to this cafe, regardless of rain or shine, regardless of happiness or sadness. To not do so is like breaking tradition, a change that you really don’t like. San must see the unhappy look on your face, because he hesitates for a second before pressing the latte to his lips.

“I just thought... I wanted to try something different.”

Your eyebrows pinch together at his words, because as flawless as the mask San wears, you’ve known him long enough to pick up the tiny breadcrumbs in his demeanor, hidden meanings behind his words. The sentence holds more weight than it appears to, but exactly what he’s trying to say, you don’t quite understand at the moment.

In an attempt to lighten what feels like a rapidly thickening mood, you force a smile onto your face and reach for San’s hand, the charms around your wrist tinkling in the summer air. “Seonghwa and I are going to study for our tests tonight over at my house, do you want to come with us?”

He tries to hide it, but you see him flinch and panic grows, little by little.

“Nah, it’s okay. I don’t want to interrupt.” San replies a little too quickly, tone a little too cold and you find an uncomfortable feeling twisting about in your gut, he raises the cup to his lips and downs the entire thing in one gulp before rising to his feet. Dread fills you, San’s uncharacteristic behaviour is throwing you off more and more and you can’t help but worry about just what is on his mind.

“Sanshine-” You try to say, but San cuts you off quickly, mercilessly, before the rest of your words can leave your mouth.

“I need to get going, I have stuff to do tonight.” He murmurs softly, his eyes downcast; he’s not quite meeting your eye. You want to catch him by the hand, hold him close and demand to know why exactly he’s acting this way, but before you can do anything along those lines, San has already turned on his heel and left the cafe, striding out with quick, brief steps… as if you’re something he can’t wait to get away from.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You moan despondently as you grab a pillow and roll onto your back, staring at the ceiling of your bedroom. It’s decorated with stickers of little cats, placed there by San, you recall glumly. Seonghwa looks up from the biology notes sprawled across his lap across the room, leaning slightly against the edge of your desk to face you more comfortably.

“You’ve been awfully distracted the last few hours and it’s nearly nine already.” The older man says with a wry smile on his face. For such an infamous “bad boy”, Park Seonghwa is remarkably sensitive to moods and feelings, you’ve realised. “What happened today?”

“I hung out with San today at the cafe we always go to, but he was acting weird.” Your pen goes flying across the room as you take out your frustrations, Seonghwa’s eyes following its flight trajectory overhead. “After he told me he had stuff to do tonight, he just left me there! He even ordered a mocha latte instead of sharing the frappe with me. He’s never done that before!”

“Oh?” The blond sounds rather amused by your little outburst but you don’t notice, instead continuing with your little rant. “I can’t believe I just found out that I like him and he’s suddenly being all strange? What if he’s tired of me as a friend? What if he doesn’t like me anymore? What if he–”

“Calm down and breathe. San isn’t the sort of person to just grow tired of his friends.” Seonghwa soothes you gently and you catch yourself, fanning your face to get rid of the heat that has built up there. “Maybe you should visit San at his house and confront him about it, I’m sure that’ll make you feel better.”

You pause for a second to consider the idea. In all honesty, it’s not a bad one, and there’s a rampant curiosity in your chest that refuses to go away until it’s satiated with the answers it desires. “But we were studying…” You turn to look at Seonghwa with an apologetic frown, but the older boy just waves it off, smiling brightly at you.

“Your relationship with San is more important.” He says reassuringly and you nod with urgency, feeling adrenaline pumping through your veins from the excitement and anticipation of seeing San again. Snatching your wallet and keys from the table, you slip and slide dangerously on your way out of the room and nearly give Seonghwa a heart attack when you come dangerously close to tumbling down the stairs in your haste.

“Good luck!” He calls after you, but he merely gets the sound of the door slamming in reply and chuckles.

The bus ride across town to San’s house is long enough for you to calm down and think seriously about what this could mean for you. Your head pressed against the glass panels of the bus window, you had wondered what his behaviour could mean, what he really felt about you. So far, you were unable to come up with any concrete answers, with San’s unabashed personality, if he did like you, wouldn’t he just have told you straight to your face?

Or could Seonghwa be wrong?

Grumbling to yourself under your breath, you stomp up the hill that San’s mansion is on, anxiety and worry twisting inside of you with every step you take. The closer you draw to your answers, the more you want to flee from them; San was always the braver of the two of you. You tuck your hands in your pockets and glance up at the night sky overhead to gain control over your emotions, but they don’t want to leave, instead nestling even deeper into you, burrowing into your chest and clinging on tight.

With a sigh, you stop in front of the iron wrought gates and, before you can allow hesitation to undo all that you’re determined to do, smash the doorbell with all the strength you have. Seconds tick by and stretch into what feels like hours, every breath leaving your lips slow and unsteady. When the gates finally do creak open, you raise your head, expecting to see San standing there, but to your surprise, it’s someone else dressed in a dark suit and a worried frown.

“Claude?” Your eyes widen and you glance around him, as if expecting to see San behind him. “Where’s San?”

“Young Master left earlier this evening, but he didn’t tell me where he was going.” Claude tells you worriedly, shaking his head. Then the butler is searching your eyes and you pull back, suddenly a little uncomfortable at his intense stare. “Young Miss, did you have a fight with Master San earlier today?”

That question doesn’t make sense to you for a moment, individual words and meanings floating around in your frazzled mind before you manage to string them into a sentence that you can comprehend. “What?” Is all you manage to say, breathless and confused. Why would Claude think that you and San had argued today? In fact, you were confused about why San seemed so unhappy around you today.

“Young Master left this behind when he went out.” Claude tells you seriously, rummaging around in his suit pocket for something. You frown, leaning over to glance over at what the older man has in the palm of his hand.

What you see shocks you.

It’s the cat charm bracelet that you and San share.

“I know it’s not much, but happy birthday, Sanshine.” You tell him happily, doing the clasp around his wrist. San raises his hand to admire the simple black band, the silver cat charm dangling from it. Satisfied with your work, you sit back on your heels and show him your own wrist with a grin. “Now we match!”

San’s smile softens as he runs his fingers along the cool metal, beaming brightly at you.

“I’ll never take it off.”

San, what changed?

Fear slams into you for a second, insecurities and worries and panic settling over you as you reach over to take the bracelet from Claude with shaking fingers. “Why would San leave this behind?” You whisper to yourself, clutching the silver charms tight in your hand. The bell hanging at the end of it tinkles cheerfully, in stark contrast to the storm of emotions you’re experiencing.

Does San… Does San not want the two of you to be friends anymore?

“Young Miss, do you want to find Young Master San and speak to him? He’s been worrying me that last few days.” Claude says grimly and for a second, you want to say no, because the signs couldn’t be more obvious, San doesn’t like you and doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore. Your hopeful heart for anything more shatters like glass, but you wipe tears you hadn’t even known were falling and look up determinedly at the stoic butler.

“I want to see him.”

You refuse to let him slip past your fingers without answers, because he’s worth more than that.

You love him, even if he doesn’t love you back.

#ateez #ateez san #ateez fanfic #choi san #san #san fanfic #w; san #w; fanfiction

[writesowhatnext]

easier done than said // poe dameron

Summary: Poe does love you - he’s shown that, but can he tell you?

Request: non

A/N: I’ve seen this type of thing around before so I was hoping I could do something cute with it.

Reader: female

Warnings: swearing, injury, hospital

There are many different ways to say I love you without actually saying it: a kiss goodnight; an ‘I hate you’ between laughter; a heartfelt ‘stay safe’. Before Poe said it to you the first time, he’d said it four times in ways you barely understood until much, much later.

I:

The first time Poe had said it, you were sure that he’d been joking; he didn’t really trust you with BB-8, surely.

You stormed towards him, rushing to catch up as he walked towards his x-wing. He was risking his life, again, for the stupidest reason, trying to be the Resistance’s single-handed salvation. You knew that if anyone could do it, it would be Poe, but that didn’t mean you were happy to risk it.

“What the hell are you thinking, Poe?” you hissed, matching his pace. “You’re gonna get yourself killed.”

His expression was deadpan as you reached the ship, crossing your arms and watching him pick BB-8 up.

“I’m not gonna get myself killed.”

You raised your eyebrow, pointing at the orange and white droid.

“Oh yeah? Who’s gonna look after BB-8  after we fish his little droid body from the wreckage of your x-wing?”

With BB-8 now in place, he turned to face you, placing a gentle hand on your elbow. He stared at you, rubbing his thumb up and down. You were partially taken back but how gentle and sincere he seemed. His eyes were full of emotion, shining in the sunlight.

“First of all,” his voice was soft. “Don’t objectify him.”

You scoffed, shoving his arm off of you as his face broke into a smile. Nerf herder.

“Second, I can trust you to look after him if anything goes wrong, which it won’t.” He began to climb into the ship, shooting you a bright grin.

“Bullshit: you don’t trust anyone to take care of him.”

Poe rocked his head to the side, conceding your point with a shrug. You rolled your eyes, huffing as he continued to prepare himself for the flight.

“You better not get yourself killed today, Dameron. Or this little droid will be an orphan.”

Taking that as a sign of you surrendering, his smile widened. You rolled your eyes, beginning to walk away from him to go monitor the mission with the General. At least there you could keep an eye on him.

“I do trust you!” he yelled from behind you, enjoying the teasing far too much. You didn’t reply, only throwing your hand behind you to send him an obscene hand gesture. You couldn’t help but smile at the loud laughter that followed.

II:

The second time Poe said it had been in thanks to one of the kindest gestures you had ever performed. It was only because of that, you told yourself, that he’d said anything at all.

The night before had been a rough one; you and Poe had spent the night going through battle procedures and ship renovation plans to try and preserve the fleet. Your discussions ran into the early hours of the morning and the next day, he had an early meeting with the General, one you knew he wouldn’t make if you didn’t wake him up. And so, there you stood, at Poe’s door, with a freshly brewed coffee in hand; to make the whole process easier, of course. When he opened the door, he looked like death, and you couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t say anything, just send you an appreciative glance, took the coffee and retreated back into his room like some caffeine-addicted Gollum. You followed him in, smiling as he sat on his bed, smelling the coffee.

“You brought me coffee.”

“I brought you coffee.”

He stared at you for a moment before nodding.

“You know what? We should get married - I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before, it’s the perfect solution.”

You raised your eyebrow, sitting down leisurely in the chair opposite him.

“I can understand why you want to marry me but I don’t see what I’m getting out of the whole deal.”

His eyes left his coffee for you for the second time that morning. This time, his gaze held absolutely no emotion, something he’d no doubt practised. After a moment, he pursed his lips and pointed at you.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that.”

“Oh really?” you asked as he drank some coffee, still nodding.

“Yeah, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that for the sanctity of our future marriage-”

“How generous of you.”

“And for the sake of our poor, unborn, future children.”

“We’re having kids now?” you asked, watching him finish off his coffee and throw the empty cup into the bin. He frowned at you.

“Of course, we are.” He jutted his hip out, resting his hand on it. “It would be a crime not to pass these genes on.”

You snorted a laugh, pushing on your knees to stand up. You looked at the clock on his wall and smirked.

“Hopefully they don’t inherit your punctuality.”

He followed your gaze, swearing under his breath. As he began to whip his shirt off, changing the clothes he’d slept in from the day before, you took your cue to leave. Before the door shut behind you, his voice made you chuckle.

“That’s why they have you, Darling.”

III:

The third time Poe said it, he hadn’t meant for you to hear it, really. He thought you were unconscious – that’s what the Chief Medical Officer had told him anyway.

“Y/N, please,” he said gently, holding your hand tightly between both of his. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear that he’d been crying; his voice was croaky and sore. “I really need you to pull through this. I really need this.”

You’d been on a mission when a First Order glider had followed you close to the base. Desperate to not give away the location of the resistance, you’d engaged in a one-on-one shooting match with the other ship. Whilst they didn’t make the surface, you certainly did.  Your ship has sustained a lot of damage and you’d crashed to the ground, only narrowly missing the Falcon. Poe had pulled you from the wreckage and all but dragged you to the infirmary.

And that’s where he’d stayed. For three days.

“You always say I’m the reckless one and then you go on this one recon mission and here you are and-“ he clenched his jaw. “Sweetheart, I just need you to wake up.”

He had dark stubble on his cheeks and heavy bags under his eyes and he knew if you could see him, you’d chew him out. But you weren’t there and that was entirely the problem.

“Can you just wake up to spite me, please?”

He lifted your hand to his lips, his other hand running over the stitches on your forehead. He hated to see the scrapes on your skin, hated that he couldn’t protect you. The General had been by a few times trying to convince Poe to get some rest, but he never would. His lack of sleep was getting to him, though.

Somewhere around the seventieth hour he spent sat next to you, he fell asleep on your bed, arms crossed and head resting on them.  He needed the sleep so badly he almost didn’t feel your hand in his unruly hair. He thought he’d imagined it at first and when he lifted his face, he thought he dreamt your open eyes and small smile. He couldn’t even speak as you pulled at one of his curls. He just watched with wide eyes as the corner of your mouth twitched and your hand dragged down his face to cup his jaw.

“Someone’s prickly.”

Tears filled Poe’s eyes as he licked at his lip, top lip folding down. His hand circled your wrist, rubbing up and down with his thumb. He nodded, tilting his head to the side.

“Well,” his voice was gravelly. “It’s a new look I’m trying.”

IV:

The fourth time, you were almost sure Poe had meant it.

“How many galaxies do you think there are out there?” he asked, staring up at the sky as you lay shoulder to shoulder.

“At least twelve.”

He nodded, enjoying the mock seriousness of your teasing.

“You think?”

“Oh yeah, I bet.”

“I bet you can’t name them.”

“I also bet I can’t name them.”

Poe snorted, nodding.

You were both lying on the damp grass of D’Qar with your shoulders touching and the back of your hands pressed together. His other hand was tucked underneath his head.

“I’m gonna go to all of them.” Poe said, seriously.

“All twelve?”

“All twelve.” He hummed. “I wanna see all of it; everything the universe has to offer.”

“You’re not gonna get lonely?”

“Who says I’ll be exploring the universe by myself?”

“Anyone that’s ever spent any time with you.”

He turned to face you then, resting the side of his head on the palm of his hand. You copied him, feeling the grass press against your cheek. Your noses were centimetres apart.

“I’m hurt.”

“Aw, did that hurt your feelings?”

“I’m deeply, deeply hurt. Everyone loves spending time with me. You’re just jealous.”

“Only because you’re so modest.” He exhaled out of his nose and turned back to look at the sky. You trailed your eyes down his side-profile, biting your lip before looking at the stars again. “I’m sure Finn would go with you – you’re basically married anyway.”

He hummed again before making a noise of protest.

“Not Finn.”

“BB-8 is a given.”

“And you, I hope?”

You frowned, turning to look at him again. He must’ve felt his eyes on you, but he just carried on looking at the empty expanse of sky above.

“You want me to explore all twelve galaxies with you?”

“I know you think there are twelve, and you think you’re always right, but I’m not so sure.”

You didn’t ignore that he avoided the question. You dropped it anyway, though, and brought your attention back to the stars.

“What? You think there’s thirteen?”

He hummed again and you felt his little finger touch yours softly.

“I don’t pretend to know the secrets of the universe.”

You lifted your little finger and he looped his around it. And so, technically, you were holding hands.

“You didn’t guess because you knew you’d be wrong.”

“I’ve never been wrong in my life.”

“What about when you bet you could eat more pudding than Chewie?”

“That-“

“I recall you spent three months emptying the squadron toilets for that.”

He pursed his lips, shifting his jaw from side to side.

“What?  The great Poe Dameron has nothing to say?”

“No.” he said stubbornly. “I just know how much you like to be right; I’m doing you a favour.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, really.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“And you’re obnoxious.”

And whilst you argued until the sun rose, your little fingers still clung to each other.

V:

When Poe actually said it, neither of you had expected it.

“Why did you do that?” Poe yelled as you lifted the cover of your x-wing. You groaned, standing up as technicians swarmed the ship, putting out the fires and getting ready to fix it.

“Poe-“

“No! I’m the one talking right now.”

You sighed, jumping down from the cockpit, brushing your hands on your knees.

“Did you think at all before you did that?” he pinched the bridge of his nose with a hand on his hip. “Because it doesn’t look like you considered it at all! You just flew in there and what? Started shooting?”

“Oh, come on-“

“I’m not finished-“

“I don’t care; you’re being unfair.”

“What? That’s not the point!”

“The point is that you do reckless shit all the time and suddenly if I do something necessary-“

“Necessary? You could’ve been killed.”

“And that’s the risk we take, Poe, you know that. All of the crew-“

“You’re not like the others!”

“I fucking knew it!” you erupted, poking at his chest. “I knew you treated me differently to the others: less hours, less dangerous missions. What are you playing at, Poe? Am I not good enough to be part of your squadron? Why won’t you treat me like-“

“Because I’m not in love with the others!”

You shut your mouth quickly, your retort locked in your throat. You leant back, blinking at Poe who seemed just as shocked as you were.

“I love you.” He said, much softer. He swallowed, as if realising what he’d said. He clenched his jaw, hands on his hips as he bent his head downwards. Then, he turned away from you. “I love you, Y/N, I just need you to be safe because I couldn’t- I couldn’t cope if you weren’t.”

The silence between you was louder than anything else in that moment. Poe, with tears in his eyes, nodded, accepting rejection.

“That’s alright.”

He turned around and began to walk away before you caught his arm with your hand. He spun him round to face you.

“Always with the dramatics, Dameron.”

And then you were kissing him. And he couldn’t think of anything but the fact that you were kissing him. And it was everything he never knew he wanted, saying everything he never knew he meant.

#poe dameron #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader #star wars #Star Wars imagine #imagine #writing

[harrywritingsbyme]

This prompt is so personal but i NEED it. Let’s just start by saying that my dad HATES me. He does. He always used to beat me when i was a kid. And if he could, he would still do it now that i’m 20. Could you write something about Harry finding out about this? Telling me that i am worth it and that all the mean things my dad told me are not true. And maybe he goes and beat him up. Dunno. But just thinking about Harry protecting me makes my heart melt. Thank you if you’ll do, means a lot.

Dad

TW: Mentions of death, and mild mentions of physical/emotional abuse

A/N: I know this was a little while ago, but I hope you’re feeling a little better and I hope the situation with your dad has gotten a little better now. I created a storyline, but I kept all of the information from your ask. I hope this is everything you wanted ☺️💕 Enjoy🙃

You didn’t choose to have a bad relationship with your dad. Ever since you were little, all you wanted was to have this great, picture perfect relationship with him, but instead you got the exact opposite. Your entire childhood was filled with tears. You were all alone with no one to talk to about the things you were going through. You just wanted to get as far away from him as possible. As time went on and you were nearing the point in your life where you could finally leave home you did everything you could to ensure that you would be as far away from him as possible.

Normally kids would miss their parents when it was time to leave for college. But you on the other hand chose the school on the other side of the country and worked your ass off to make sure you got in. And when you did, you immediately began to pack up all of your things. You counted the days until you could just leave, you'd been planning and saving for months for that day. On the day of your high school graduation you decided to just pick up and go. You moved far away from him and you never looked back.

Ever since then, you built a life without him in it. You graduated from college and you made something out of yourself. You put everything from your childhood behind you and you went forward. In moving forward you met the love of your life. When you met Harry, it was like a breath of fresh air. He helped you to see how you were supposed to be treated and loved. You guys had something that you wanted to hold onto forever.

In creating something positive and amazing with Harry, you held back the intricate details of your past. You didn’t tell Harry about what happened between you and your dad. All you did was tell him that your mom died when you were really young, and that you had an estranged relationship with your dad. Thats all you said to him, and thats all you really felt the need to say. Thats all you wanted to say, because if you talked about it, it was going to make you sad. And if you were sad, you were going to cry. And you really didn’t want to cry. Of course you weren’t going to be happy all of the time, but if you could limit the amount of times that you weren’t, you were definitely going to try your best to do so.

You wanted to tell Harry, it was just that you were afraid of how it could change things. You didn’t want him to throw you a pity party, you just wanted him to hear and understand the pain your dad caused you. That’s it, that’s all you wanted. You were just waiting until the right time. Except you weren’t going to have the opportunity to wait for the ‘right time’, because the right time was happening right now.

“Hey babe, whats this?” Harry turns to show you the box in his hands.

“Um, how’d you find that?” You sit up in the bed.

“I was looking for one of my shirts, and I know that you have most of them and I went to grab one and I just stumbled across this.” He explains. “You don’t have to explain though.” he rushes out.

“No, I’ll talk about it” because now or never. You’d been together for a little over a year now and it was time to talk about your past with Harry. It was only fair for you to talk to him. You beckon him over to join you on the bed. When he sits down, he slides the box over to you. You take one last deep breath, and you begin. “So remember how I told you that I have a bit of an estranged relationship?”

“Yeah, you said that you guys haven’t spoken since you were in high school”

“Yeah, um, theres more that I haven’t told you” you begin. You could already feel your eyes watering up.

“Look, you don’t have to talk about this if it makes you upset. I respect the fact that you may not want to talk about this. But whenever you are ready to talk, I’ll be ready to listen.” He reaches over and puts his hand over yours.

“Well I want to talk to you about it. And you deserve to know about my past.” You put your other hand on top of his. “So, where should I start?”

“Anywhere you want” he sends you a soft smile.

“Okay. So growing up it was just me and my dad. From the time I started school to the time I graduated, my life was hell. He’d constantly berate and put me down. He would tell me that I wasn’t worth anything. He’d take all of his frustration out on me, physically and emotionally...” the tears were already there, now they were just pouring out of your eyes. “He always blamed me for my mother passing and he’d tell me that I wasn’t worth his time or anything else for that matter. I just took the verbal and physical lashings up until high school and then I left and never looked back. And it was the best thing I could have ever done.” Once you finish speaking you begin to sob. This is what you were afraid of. You didn’t want to feel anything, you wanted to push everything behind you without acknowledging the pain that it caused. You didn’t want to acknowledge the pain, because it would be like he won.

Harry immediately moves further up the bed to wrap you in his arms. That only made you cry even harder. To have a man who loves you holding you in his arms was something you hadn’t really experienced until you met Harry. Nothing could make up for what your father did to you, but what you had with Harry allowed you to block out what you went through. 

“So, before I begin my speech, do you mind telling me what’s in the box?” He whispers to you once your cries die down. 

“Um, so despite the fact that my dad used to beat me, and probably still would today, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love him. As much as he put me through, he’s still my dad. And even though he doesn’t deserve it, I do still love him.” You sit up and you pull the box closer to you. When you open up the box you see all of the envelopes with the return to sender tag at the bottom. “These are all of the Christmas, birthday, and the rare thinking of you cards I’ve sent him since I left home.” You sigh. “I thought I got the address wrong but I checked and it’s the same as it’s always been.”

“So you’re telling me, that the man who put you through hell is sending back the letters you’ve written to him? He doesn't realize that your kindness is the last thing that he deserves?” All you could do was nod. You could hear the anger in Harry’s voice. Listening to how you not only grew up alone, but hearing that the man who was supposed to protect you was the man you needed to be protected from made Harry burn with anger. He so badly wanted to hop on the next flight to your hometown and give the bastard who didn’t deserve the title of being your father a piece of his mind, and his fist. He wraps his arms around you tighter, wanting you to feel how much he loved you. He wanted to give you all of the love you didn’t receive growing up.

“Can I give my speech now?” He whispers

“Yeah, let me just get some tissues first” Harry releases his tight grip on you and you run into the bathroom to grab the box of tissues. You climb back onto the bed and you turn to face Harry. He moves in closer to you and he grabs your hands in his.

“Well I want to tell you that I’m not going to throw you a pity party and me knowing this isn’t going to change things. I still love you more than you even know, and I will always love you more than you even know. I’m so proud of you and the fact that you overcome this and you became something beyond what you went through growing up. No one should have to go through such a negative experience the way you did. But if we look at this from a positive point of view, if you hadn’t gone through those things, you wouldn’t have left, and we wouldn’t have met each other and I have no idea of what I would be doing if I hadn’t met you. You make me want to be a better person.” By now the tears were streaming down both of your faces and they weren’t stopping anytime soon. “I’m honored that such a strong woman like you has allowed me to love her. I may screw up sometimes, but you have my word that I will never hurt you or harm you the way he did. And I promise to never hurt our children the way he hurt you either.” your head immediately shoots up to look at him. Neither of you had explicitly told one another that you wanted to get married and have children, but the feeling was definitely there. Hearing Harry say that made you melt completely. It was almost like it sealed the deal. Everything he said made you firmly believe that Harry truly understood you and that he was here for you.

You then leap from where you were sitting and into his arms. It was the only place where you felt completely safe. The two of you just hold each other tight. Nothing needed to be said, the way you two held onto each other so tight did all of the talking.

Once the two of you finally pull apart you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face. It was like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. You were able to finally felt comfortable enough to talk to someone about what you went through and it was really nice. You didn’t have the burden of holding back a part of yourself. You felt like talking to Harry about it was a way for you to unload some of the pain you’d been carrying around for so long.

Maybe you wouldn’t be 100% better immediately, but having Harry by your side to move forward in a positive and healthy direction was a good place to start.

Masterlist

#Harry Styles #harry smut #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #harry x you #harry styles x you #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry x y/n #harry styles x y/n #Harry styles fic #harry styles angst #harrywritingsbyme #my harry writing #harry styles writings #concepts of h

[earthfluuke]

this is a direct sequel to family dinners. if you haven’t read that, i suggest you read it first. this will make more sense if you do!

i love the teepakorn siblings far too much. there is so much about them to explore, and i’ve been having such a fun time doing that. type is a character i don’t think gets enough recognition, but i find him and tine to be very similar; opposite sides to the same coin if you will.

as soon as i finished family dinners, i knew i wanted a continuation with type’s thoughts and feelings towards what happened in the first story. so here it is! i hope you enjoy!!

Type can’t bring himself to knock on the door.

The long plane of wood mocks him, separating the beginning of the night from the remainder. All it would take is a raise of his hand, a rap of his knuckles, and despite that, he stays deathly still.

He should have had Sarawat drop him off at his own apartment and console himself with the blankets pulled over his head and deep instrumentals to drown out his tears. There’s comfort, familiarity, in that. This? This is so far from; a foreign land he has to tip toe through in fear of a trap opening up beneath him.

His head turns away, walks down the stairs, waits for a taxi. But his heart plants himself firm and knocks three times. Fight or flight begins, his two poles pulling him in opposite directions. But before he’s torn apart, the door opens, and Man looks down to him with a smile.

He smiles more than anyone Type has ever met, sends more smiles his way than he’s ever been gifted. The curve of his lips, the glint of his teeth, the hidden messages of I missed you and I’m so happy to see you startles and excites him at the same time.

As quick as that smile comes, it disappears when he gets a better look at how he’s sinking into himself. A hand reaches out, close enough to touch but far enough to pull away if it needs to, and Type, physical qualms be damned, takes it and anchors himself to what that taunting door had kept him from.

Man leads him inside, grip light enough to where Type could get away at any time. The scary thing is that he doesn’t want to get away for the very first time in his life. He has known how to handle himself, has handled himself for as long as he can remember and then some. Allowing someone else to do that is a risk, and risks of that degree were not ones that Type Teepakorn took. Not then. Not before Man. Man is worth the risk (he thinks; he might be; maybe; he hopes so).

Sitting on the couch, silence simmers on a low boil. Searching for what to say, the pot begins to overflow, the tea kettle starts to whistle, and he feels Man inhale the beginnings of a concern at his side. Before he can voice it, Type says in a quick fluster, “Tine brought Sarawat over for dinner tonight.”

Stammering wordlessly, Man nods with a hard swallow. “Okay,” he settles on, urging him to continue.

“He brought Sarawat over for dinner,” he repeats, trying to make sense of it himself; because those words should not go together, not with what he – what he and Tine – know. “He brought him over when he knew…knew how bad it would be.”

He had to have known; Type had the moment the two of them had walked through the kitchen and into the dining room. There is so much Teepakorn sons do not do, and bringing home a boy – regardless of how accomplished he may be or how well he may treat you – is right alongside jeopardizing success for emotions and putting your own happiness above the perception of the family.

He evens his breath to the pattern he strokes over Man’s fingers. He waits two beats before he picks up his speed, “The things he said, the things Tine had to hear, were just awful. It shouldn’t surprise me. It shouldn’t, and yet, every time,” he shakes his head, “I’m dumb enough to believe it will be different.”

Man gives his palm a hard squeeze, his skin pressing you’re not dumb, never into his own. The just hopeful goes unsaid, unsqueezed. After all this time, he knows there’s nothing to be hopeful for, and for some unfathomable reason, he hangs onto the possibility that there just might be.

“I just sat there,” he continues on, waver to his voice unequivocal, “while my little brother got torn to pieces. And he stood there, took it all, didn’t…didn’t even flinch. He was so…” Deep breath in, he swallows back tears – because what right does he of all people have to cry? “So brave. And I didn’t even help him. I’m the oldest; I’m…I’m meant to protect him, make things better, and all I did was…was sit there! Like a coward–”

“Hey, no.” He doesn’t realize the patterns he is drawing over Man’s skin have turned shaky until they are taken into a larger, steadier pair. “You’re Tine’s brother, not his parent. Those aren’t things you had to do in that moment. Your parents…they reacted bad, yeah? That’s what you’re saying? Of course you sat there; it must have been a really scary situation.”

Type dares to look up, but as soon as he does, he realizes it’s a mistake. He expects pity, would appreciate pity, more than the kind understanding sadness Man sends his way. He can’t look away, even when Man stresses further.

“Tine made his decision, and I think he probably knew that things could go the way they did. And that really, really sucks. But it’s not something you could change, no matter how badly you wanted to.” Cupping his hands together, he holds Type’s in between. “And it doesn’t make you a coward. You’re one of the bravest people I know, P’Type.”

Suppressing a dry laugh, he meets those eyes once more, continues to wonder how they can look at him in such a way, and reaches up to cup his cheek. What a privilege it is, to touch something so close to gold.

He smiles, small and far from reassuring; it’s almost ironic. “How can I be?” he asks. “When what I can’t even imagine doing what Tine did?”

“P’Type,” Man breathes. It’s a horribly sad sound, enough to break his heart. He just holds his face firmer, fingertips tickling over the stubble along his jaw.

“You don’t deserve to be kept a secret. And I don’t want you to be one. I want to tell everyone, anyone, my parents included; I want it so badly that I feel like I’ll explode. But I can’t. I can’t. Because it would end so terribly. It did for Tine, and…it should have been me. I should’ve gone first so that I would have been ready when he went. I could have helped him, I’m older, I’m…I want to.”

“P’Type.” Man’s hand comes up to cover the one on his cheek. “P’Type,” he says again, and Type soaks in the gentle tone.

“They would be so mean to you,” he whispers, a bit cracked, a bit unsteady. “I want to. But they would be so mean to you.”

P’Beam is child’s play in comparison to his parents. Whatever expectations there are about his future, his career, his goals, their opinions and expectations are laid out clearly, and anything that happens to stray him away from those are not worth any kindness. And how unfair it is when Man is worth that and more; he’s worth the sun, moon, and stars.

“Just because you want to, doesn’t mean you’re ready. And that’s okay. Tine was ready today, because he’s Tine; you’re not ready yet, because you’re you. Being older has nothing to do with that.” Turning his head, he presses a kiss to the center of Type’s palm, murmuring into his skin, “I’m okay with being a secret. I’m okay with waiting. I’m okay with anything so long as I have you. What I deserve is your love, time, and support. And that’s what you deserve too, P’Type. You deserve to be happy in any way that you feel happiness.”

Tears fall easier than they should. Maybe they’ve been held back for too long to stay choked back inside anymore. Wet trails stain his cheeks as fresh streams fall, and Man is there to hold him, one arm coming around his waist while the opposite hand smooths over his hair, through it all. To be hugged so tight, cradled so close, is new, scary, and his brain is sending him out the door and down the stairwell once more. But his heart, the very thing he’s forbidden control from for years, keeps him still.

“I’ll keep reminding you until you believe me,” Man whispers to the crown of his head. “It’s okay if that takes a while. I have forever to show you it’s the truth.”

Type doesn’t know how long it will take for him to accept that; perhaps soon, perhaps never. What he does know is that no one has been bold enough to brave his walls and promise to stay until they come down, brick by brick. And if nothing else, that gives him hope that one day – not now, not tomorrow, but one day – he’ll see what Man does.

#2gether #2gether the series #mantype #man x type #type teepakorn #my writing #i really hope you guys enjoy this! #i really put my all into type's character

[jennycalendar]

my top ten calendiles fics (that i wrote)

this rec list took me a solid chunk of time to compile, because my fics are my babies and i honestly wanna throw quite a few of them up here. but EVENTUALLY i stopped being indecisive and finally managed to get this sorted, so here goes! if you wanna read some of my stuff, this is the stuff that i am the most proud of/in love with/would cry if someone asked me leading questions about it + drew me fanart of it. these are not ranked except for the top two, because the first one is my baby and the second one is still very beloved to me.

under the cut, because i have loving commentary!

1. as day follows night (multi-chapter)

Looking for a safe place to stay after her accidental murder of the Deputy Mayor, Faith Lehane allies herself with a mysteriously powerful witch—and stumbles into a fairytale mystery that's bigger than anything she could have anticipated.

(this fic is my goddamn baby. this fic is my C H I L D. this fic is the fic that i took extensive notes for and spent most of my freshman year of college thinking about and ended up as this terrifying love letter to fairy tales and jenny calendar and the complexity of the way she chooses to love people. i love this fic with every fiber of my being and always will.)

2. i still want to be your girl (multi-chapter)

Five years ago, Jenny Calendar ran from Sunnydale and didn't come back. Now, with the First threatening Sunnydale and the Slayer line, she's returned to help stop the apocalypse--but Rupert Giles isn't the man she remembers, and he isn't exactly delighted to have her back in his life again.

(i have a very persistent soft spot for later-seasons giles, but this was one of the few fics where i went “okay but what about battle-hardened jenny” and i’m very proud of the result. it was really fun to think about what might have changed about jenny over the course of five years, and now that i’m thinking about it, i might be really interested in writing a giles pov of this fic at some point? that’s totally a concept to come back to at some point. anyway.)

3. kind of like hydrogen peroxide

Here was the problem: Ripper had no idea how to talk to Jenny without somehow managing to make her want to kill him.

(i do NOT deserve rights if a fic from the ripper au doesn’t make its way onto this list, and this one is my very favorite. i love thinking about dumb teenage giles who pretends to be a rebel but is actually very very soft and very very in love with his equally dumb and genuinely rebellious girlfriend.)

4. spirit-touched

“Thank you, Buffy,” Giles said, “but I would prefer to conduct this research on my own. I’ll be looking into some rather…” He felt himself blushing, and resented it. “Some rather intimate details of ghost-human relations.”

“What does that—oh god, you want to figure out how to have sex with Ms. Calendar,” said Buffy.

(making this the first smutfic i posted was still the most cursed power move i have ever pulled off. anyway that influx of asks in 2016 about ghost jenny and human giles and their sex life inspired this and it ended up being SO funny and SO sweet and i am SO proud of it.)

5. very really married

Giles and Jenny's flights to Sunnydale both stop over in Las Vegas. On the same day. Naturally, a chance encounter leads to a drunken marriage, one that they mutually agree to keep up for appearances.

Which is to say: Giles is going to have to figure out how to hide his fake marriage from his new Slayer (and everyone else) while also hiding his new Slayer from his fake wife (and everyone else). And his complex feelings for Jenny aren't helping anything.

(EVEN NOW, THIS FIC MAKES ME GIGGLE TO THINK ABOUT. i am saving my reread of this particular gem for a rainy day, because it was my love letter to season one and my daydreamy fantasy re: what it would look like if giles and jenny had silly odd-couple energy that really just came from them being fake married and badly hiding it as they fall very deeply in love.)

6. days in goodness spent

This feeling—whatever Giles is feeling—this is bone-deep. He’s never felt it before. He’s been in love before, he’s admired someone before, he’s respected someone before, but this feels like all of those three things held together by something else he can’t quite name. He searches, desperately, for the words that will tell Jenny this, but nothing that has been written can describe the way it feels to be held by her right now.

(In which Rupert Giles gets the chance to fall in love all the way, and it changes him just a little.)

(this one didn’t immediately come to mind when i was drawing up the list, but my brief rereads led me to conclude that it is an underappreciated gem! i’ve written a lot of different takes on giles and jenny’s relationship, but i particularly love calling giles out for idealizing jenny. also i like that this is more abstract than some of my other older pieces, where i really get into the nuts and bolts of wanting to depict Every Single Part of giles and jenny’s relationship trajectory. this one has more fun with the flow of the story.)

7. no one else could heal my pain

“Friday,” Giles echoed.

“Yeah. As an overnight weekend trip to hunt down some books I need.” Ms. Calendar smiled playfully at him. “Isn’t that the kind of thing you’d do for fun anyway?”

(this one was SO recent and SO fun! it’s kind of my love letter to the standalone longfics i consumed voraciously when i was fourteen, because there are some really great older calendiles fics that are just long and winding adventure-y narratives about the two of them goofing off and falling in love. i wanted to echo that here a little bit and it was a delight to write.)

8. myosotis latifolia

Years and years ago, the truth would spill out, and Rupert—in his endless romanticism—would take her hands and tell her she only needed him by her side to feel welcome and loved. But it’s been over a decade since they’ve been that close, and those years have created a distance between them just as insurmountable as the distance between them, now, on the steps leading into his lavish gardens.

(Rupert Giles is an esteemed member of the Watchers' Council, as well as a happily married father. Jenny Calendar knows that that's never been what he wanted.)

(ahaha this one is a big ouch moment but i really love it regardless? i think that giles and jenny are kinda fundamentally incompatible in a lot of ways, and part of the intrigue of their relationship is watching them try and figure out how to compromise and adjust after years of being rigid and inflexible individuals -- giles intellectually, jenny emotionally. so this fic is a lot about that.)

9. the grieving process

After Buffy's death, Giles makes his way to Jenny in LA.

(i don’t know why this one still sticks with me! it just! does! it holds up and i love it and if you wanna read about giles and jenny falling in love in a way that is healthy and authentic without any secrets -- but also obviously very sad -- definitely pick this one up.)

10. decently clothed

“Jenny, are you selecting my wardrobe based solely on what is and isn’t easy to divest me of?”

“…no,” said Jenny.

“That’s not even remotely convincing.”

(i wrote this one during a particularly difficult time in my life, and it was a really special moment for me, because i’d just come out of a period where it had been difficult for me to find the time or emotional energy to write. whenever i return to it, this fic is suffused in that warm and hopeful joy i felt when i posted it and realized that i had not, in fact, lost my touch. so it’s always gonna mean the world to me.

plus it is very silly and sweet! my specialties.)

#fic #calendiles #so i stayed up till 3am for this. i do not deserve rights anymore

[thelarryficrecplace]

Larry Fics Masterpost - Christmas Edition 2019

Merry Christmas people!! It’s this time of the year again! Following my previous masterpost, I’ve decided to make an updated one!

Here’s some more of my absolutely favourite Christmas fics:

Home for the Holly Days by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: Or, Louis’s participating in the Secret Santa exchange between all the Hogwarts professors stuck at school over the winter holidays, and the Sorting Hat may fancy itself a bit of a matchmaker.

Word count: 2,421

Do Not Falter (There's a Star Ahead) by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and every single one of Louis' family members are crowded inside his little flat. Really, what more could he ask for on his birthday?

The present he never knew he wanted - in the form of an omega from his past - might just make this his most memorable Christmas.

Word count: 2,853

You Should Be Here With Me by dimpled_halo:

Summary: Louis is finishing the last touches of his outfit when the doorbell chimes downstairs. He freezes midway through buttoning his shirt. Again, if he’d known what was going to happen today he’d have brought a better outfit, but it’s whatever. He holds his breath, hearing as the door is opened and some murmurs Louis can’t quite make out. He doesn’t miss the deep rumble of Harry’s voice. Louis may not be able to understand what is being said from up here, but that deep voice is unmistakable. It sends shivers through his body.

Louis is home for the holidays and doesn't expect his mum to invite his ex and his family over for Christmas. All the feelings he's had bottled up since breaking up with Harry before going to uni come back in full force.

Word count: 3,000

Snowdrops and Mice Pops by OhHarold:

Summary: The boys are stuck at Hogwarts over Christmas incapable of taking the Hogwarts Express back to London. A botched together friends Christmas would have to do.

Word count: 3,300

Make The Yuletide Gay by hollytabatha:

Summary: Louis has a disdain for Christmas songs and ugly Christmas sweaters, but maybe spending a night with Harry will change that for good.

Word count: 3,411

One Week, Eight Hours by daggerinrose:

Summary: or: a production assistant with no experience in front of a camera interviews a rockstar with old shoes and a distasteful attitude.

Word count: 3,560

Unto You by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: Louis is a lamplighter celebrating the saturnalia season in his own way.Harry is heavily pregnant and new in the city.The holiday of Christmas is yet to be created.

Word count: 3,671

pull your-elf together by EmmyLouWho:

Summary: Or: Santa's Winter Wonderland is a great place to fall in love.

Word count: 3,947

Santa's Lap by larryatendoftheday:

Summary: A Christmas story about unexpected gifts, featuring Harry as a mall Santa and Louis as a great big brother.

Word count: 4,227

Is that a candy cane in your pocket? by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie):

Summary: Louis accuses Harry of shoplifting. Harry was definitely not shoplifting.

They work it out.

Word count: 4,868

i'll be yours for christmas by rina_a:

Summary: My family invited you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry.

Word count: 4,874

since we've no place to go (let it snow) by midnights:

Summary: ft. harry flaunting his cooking skills, crying at classic christmas movies, and a dog named george bailey.

Word count: 4,759

Set Your Heart A-Whirl by QuickedWeen:

Summary: Harry comes home for his family's big Christmas party and learns something surprising about his past.

Word count: 4,975

In this light (I fell for you) by Larryfissure:

Summary: Christmas AU where Harry is going to perform his very first concert and Louis is his mute (and very supportive) boyfriend. Also lots of kittens, bad puns and boyfriends being cute.

Word count: 5,334

Sympathy For The Devil by taggiecb:

Summary: Or the one with Santa Harry and Satan Louis and a series of misspelled letters to Santa.

Word count: 5,412

I'll Wait Up For You, Dear by dimpled_halo:

Summary: After not being able to afford to go home for the holidays, Louis is resigned to spend Christmas alone. When he stumbles upon his neighbor, Harry, he realizes he might not be so lonely after all.

Word count: 5,753

I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm by haloeverlasting:

Summary: Or, Louis' heat is out, Harry's a terrible upstairs neighbor, and an empty Christmas tree is the perfect excuse to fall in love.

Word count: 7,477

You're Never Alone with a Moon this Bright by HelloAmHere:

Summary: Louis was a monster. But sometimes, even monsters get a Christmas.

Word count: 7,619

Rated R by cherrystreet:

Summary: Louis gifts Harry with a surprise sex tape, and it accidentally makes its way into Harry's family Christmas party. Ridiculousness ensues.

Word count: 7,635

A Story For the Ages by FallingLikeThis:

Summary:  He should have known it was coming. After seven months of pretending to have a boyfriend in order to keep his mum from meddling in his love life again, he should have realized he’d have to actually introduce her to someone eventually.

Word count: 7,706

Moon Wrapped in Gold Paper by larrymylove:

Summary: The first time Louis meets Harry, several things go very wrong.

Word count: 7,932

A Christmas Wish by Snowy38:

Summary: "So when are you going to tell him?"

Louis pursed his lips at his sister, his Skype video call relaying his thoughts on that subject perfectly.

"Next question," he mused.

Lottie rolled her eyes.

"It's your birthday in four days, Louis."

"What difference does that make?" He scoffed.

She shrugged.

"You can get drunk and confess how you feel and take it back afterwards if he doesn't feel the same."

That might work if Louis wasn't in love with Harry. But Lottie didn't know that and she didn't need to find out.

"Thanks Lots," he said anyway.

"Seriously Lou what's stopping you?"

Louis sighed.

"Fear mostly."

Word count: 8,780

Meet Me Underneath The Mistletoe by 4ureyesonly28:

Summary: Louis flies out to Chicago for business just before Christmas... His flight home is cancelled because of a snow storm and he ends up going to his colleague Niall's Christmas party where he meets the most gorgeous man he's ever seen. And if they end up under the mistletoe within less than an hour then that's nobody's business but theirs.

Word count: 8,831

There's really nothing better (than a beautiful boy in an ugly Christmas sweater) by we_are_the_same:

Summary: In the weeks leading up to Christmas, Louis takes on a few more shifts at his part time job to be able to buy Christmas presents for his family and friends. In comes Harry, who might be everything Louis had never asked for. Featuring ugly Christmas Sweaters, too many Christmas songs, and not enough snow.

Word count: 9,087

you've set my soul to dreaming by we_are_the_same:

Summary: Or: Thirty year old Harry Styles goes to bed single on Christmas Eve, only to wake up on Christmas morning with a husband in his bed and a son down the hall.

Word count: 9,279

Make The Yuletide Gay by flowercrownfemme:

Summary: A Christmas In Connecticut AU in which Louis is a mommy blogger, Harry is a pop star, and nobody's really what they seem. Featuring a lot of lying, tons of domesticity, some badly faked heterosexuality, and a few Christmas kisses.

Word count: 9,769

sidewalk angels echo hallelujah by nooelgallagher:

Summary: When Louis' dog goes missing 7 days before Christmas, he doesn't have much hope for a Christmas reunion. But miracles come in all shapes and sizes, and Harry just might take the form of his.

Word count: 9,978

Brighten My Northern Sky by twoshipstiedup:

Summary: Harry, Louis, a phone number and fate

Word count: 10,030

make my wish come true by flicker_album:

Summary: Or the one where Louis starts decorating for Christmas in November and Harry indulges him.

Word count: 10,137

The Clock Strikes Christmas by jacaranda_bloom:

Summary: OR the one where Louis needs someone to love, Harry needs a miracle, and sometimes, wishes really do come true.

Word count: 10,498

Candy Cane Eyes by larryent:

Summary: It’s the Christmas season in New York City. There are far too many mistletoes hanging in Harry's apartment building and there is a pair of mischievous candy cane blue eyes who is responsible.

Word count: 10,703

and marshmallows by BriaMaria:

Summary: The one where Harry has a personal attachment to Louis' house, and Louis can't stop picturing the beautiful stranger dancing in his kitchen.

Word count: 10,729

Take Your Time by Layne Faire (HisDarlin):

Summary: When Harry finds himself in the middle of a messy break-up with no place to live, Louis offers a spare room in his flat. Unbeknownst to Harry, Louis has been infatuated for years. Over the objections of their friends, who know the truth, Harry accepts. Can Louis survive Harry moving into his home…and closer to his heart? Will Harry see what's right in front of him?

Word count: 11,556

Maybe I'm Crazy To Suppose by twoshipstiedup:

Summary: A breakup before Christmas sends Harry back to a place he'd been avoiding for years.

One night with a stranger makes him want to stay.

Word count: 12,665

If the Fates Allow by afirethatcannotdie:

Summary: Louis yells at a stranger in a shop and a few days later, needs his help. Desperately. Then he discovers he’s kind of in love with him.

Word count: 13,039

The Christmas Lift by homosociallyyours:

Summary: Louis lies about having a boyfriend to avoid being set up on a blind date by an overzealous co-worker, but now he's in desperate need of a fake boyfriend for his office holiday party. He’s complaining about it on the phone to Liam when Harry, his unknown but hot neighbor, overhears him in the lift and offers to help.

It doesn't take long for Louis to realize he wishes things weren't quite so fake, but he's afraid it'll take a Christmas miracle to make anything happen.

Word count: 13,150

Christmas, Baby by nikogda:

Summary: Or, The one where the exact thing that Harry thinks is derailing his life plan might be exactly what he needs.

Word count: 13,191

Wrap me up in your Love by wickedarcher_08:

Summary: Or the one where Louis is pregnant and keeps getting interrupted in the most obscure ways every time he tries to tell Harry.

Word count: 13,223

to the light by fondleeds:

Summary: AU. Harry is a mermaid lost at sea and Louis is a boy determined to make his first Christmas a memorable one.

Word count: 13,304

Moments Stay When People Leave... by lovelarry10:

Summary: Harry gets lost in the memories of the best relationship he'd ever had, and then threw away, breaking two hearts. He makes a decision just before Christmas, and can only hope Louis feels the same...

Word count: 13,855

All I Want Is You (This Christmas) by Dont_Stop_Larry:

Summary: Harry broke up with Louis early in 2014. Louis is trying to figure out life without Harry. Being stuck together on a Christmas vacation might just mend everything.

Word count: 14,019

Come What May by sincewewereeighteen:

Summary: The one in which Harry and Louis have been separated for almost a year, but their kids ask Santa to bring them together again.

Word count: 14,049

Made From Love by lovelarry10:

Summary: It's almost Christmas, and amongst the preparations, Louis' realised something about his husband Harry.

Harry, however, seems to be oblivious.

Louis' determined to open Harry's eyes and make him realise the real magic that's happening this Christmas...

Word count: 14,690

This Winter's Day by QuickedWeen :

Summary: Louis is Harry's stablemaster, and when he falls ill and his mother turns to Harry to help her try and find someone he can settle down with, it's only natural that Harry suggests himself.

Word count: 14,871

The Lights Will Guide You Home by Dont_Stop_Larry:

Summary: The one where two oblivious men haven’t quite figured it out yet - but it may be too late for them.

Word count: 16,916

Christmas at the Holly Lodge by lululawrence:

Summary: Or the one where Louis is the owner of the Holly Lodge, Harry is an investment advisor, and maybe Christmas miracles really do exist.

Word count: 17,387

Make You Feel My Love by rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife):

Summary: Harry decides the best way to go about telling his best friend that he's in love with him is to catch him under a conveniently placed mistletoe but that's not what happens.

Word count: 17,442

My Only Wish by rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife):

Summary: Or an Secret Santa AU where Louis doesn’t know how it works and keeps giving Harry gifts and being not so obvious about his flirting.

Word count: 17,918

An Aurora Grove Christmas by dandelionfairies:

Summary: Harry gets lost on his way to St. Louis. The roads are horrid because of the snow and he ends up spinning into a ditch. Lucky for him, he finds a cabin nearby, as well as a cute blue-eyed man who immediately helps him. Unfortunately, his car is stuck for the night, but at least he has a place to stay with Louis. With the snow continuing to fall and another storm front coming through, will he ever make it out of Aurora Grove? Does he even want to?

Word count: 17,930

Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings) by 2tiedships2:

Summary: Or the one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?

Word count: 18,474

Part 2 here

This Winter Dream by hopeneverdies:

Summary: Louis Tomlinson is on his way home from New York City to spend Christmas with his family, but his trip is temporarily halted when his car breaks down in a small town upstate. A lonely barista, named Harry, offers him a place to stay for the night. It doesn't take long before Louis wants to offer something to Harry in return.

Word count: 19,065

Reindeer Games by Throwthemflowers:

Summary: Louis is a disgruntled elf and Harry is one of Santa’s reindeer. Featuring classic miscommunication, heaps of unrequited pining, gratuitous smut (with a bit of, shall we say, horseplay), a pinch of NYC holiday magic, and a sickening amount of Christmas Spirit.

Word count: 19,639

Six Weeks by LadyLondonderry:

Summary: When Harry takes the afternoon shift at the cafe, he meets a boy who drinks a lot of tea and never remembers his umbrella.

Word count: 20,023

All I Want For Christmas (Is Lou) by wickedarcher_08:

Summary: Or the one where Harry and Louis are each others Secret Santa

Word count: 20,550

So Put Your Hands In (The Holes of My Sweater) by Kat_rawr:

Summary: Harry and Louis go on a lot of not-dates.

Word count: 21,355

Better Not Pout, I'm Telling You Why by runaway_train:

Summary: The one where Harry still believes in Santa Claus and Louis doesn't want to be the one to burst his bubble.

Word count: 24,545

Lovin' you is a gift by messofgorgeouschaos:

Summary: With his 28th birthday approaching, Louis was looking forward to celebrating in New York City with an all-expenses paid trip. He just didn't expect to spend it with an escort when he suddenly finds himself single a few days before it. A Pretty Woman AU.

Word count: 25,462

Waited All Year To Be Near by lovelarry10:

Summary: Harry’s preparing for the holidays at home with his four children while Louis is deployed. All he wants is his husband home for Christmas. But Louis’ half a world away...

Word count: 27,399

Let It Snow by crescentmoonshine:

Summary: Four years, four disastrous Christmas parties, four disastrous attempts to get it right.

Word count: 27,858

Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups:

Summary: Basically the A/B/O, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, Christmas AU that nobody asked for.

Word count: 31,880

From the Start by Anonymous:

Summary: Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.

Word count: 32,185

Frosted Kisses by bromanceorromance:

Summary: Harry and Niall run a bakery called Sweet Cheeks. Louis is in line to become the next Santa Claus, but his best friend, Zayn, is the only one that knows. Louis wants Harry as soon as he sees him, but he's not ready to interrupt Harry's life with the "I'm the next Santa" news until it's almost too late.

Word count: 34,135

Latching Onto You by reminiscingintherain:

Summary: Or, the one where Louis wants to book Harry Styles to perform at his best friends' wedding.

Word count: 34,313

Find You Home by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie):

Summary: When Louis lies to his family and says he’ll bring his new boyfriend home for Christmas, his best friend and roommate Harry agrees to play the part. It’s that, or be left alone over the holidays.

What will happen? No one knows! Perhaps Santa will swoop in with a Christmas miracle.

Featuring lovesick idiots, kissing and cuddling, pies and Christmas clichés.

Word count: 35,388

Feels Like Christmas by lovelarry10:

Summary: Harry Styles has always loved Christmas - it’s his favourite holiday, but there’s always been something missing.

Louis Tomlinson has been running from his pain, and is determined to ignore the holidays once more, choosing to spend them in solitude.

When they meet - entirely by chance - it could be just what they both need this Christmas...

Word count: 49,630

the impossible now by stylinsoncity:

Summary: A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

Word count: 64,839

#larry #larry au #larry fic #larry fic rec #larry fics #fic #fics #fic rec #fic recs #larry stylinson #larry fic recs #christmas fic #christmas fics #christmas au #christmas masterpost #christmas #merry christmas #larry christmas #larry masterpost #masterpost #holiday fics

[nrgburst]

Opening section from “An Exchange of Kings”, (Tentative title- I know there’s no such thing in chess, but that’s kinda the point) totally self-indulgent follow-up to Check and Mate. (The Queen’s Gambit, Beth/Benny, M for frank talk about sex)

Beth wakes up and blinks when she smells coffee. She turns over in bed, unsure if she's disappointed- Benny's always been up earlier than her, but she'd been hoping to wake up in his arms  again. Instead she can hear the low sound of his voice downstairs- he's probably on the phone.

She pulls on a slip and then a cardigan before heading downstairs, where Benny's leaning back in her usual chair while on the phone, coffee and a scribbled on legal pad in front of him on the counter. His eyes light up and he smiles when he sees her, and Beth feels her stomach flipflop giddily.

“Uh huh. Hey, she's up now, so I'll call you later, 'k? Yeah, thanks, buddy. Will do.”

“...Morning,” she says, suddenly feeling rather shy. It's still strange to see Benny here, barefoot and relaxed, surrounded by all her things.

“Morning.” He hangs up the phone and her insides dance with butterflies again when he gets up and pulls her close.

He never used to kiss her except in bed, and even then, he'd avoided it, like he was trying to keep sex a strictly physical thing. Any warm words and affectionate gestures had quickly had him changing the topic back to chess and closing off, and it had hurt, but she'd tried to curtail her own feelings in response. They were just friends who had sex- the message was loud and clear.

It had reminded her a lot of how she'd treated Harry- maybe karma was a real thing after all. So she'd just told herself to enjoy the orgasms until she left for Paris; the way Alma had sighed over her penpal dalliance- it would be fun while it lasted, and at least the pleasure was very mutual.

She much, much prefers this- it's even more heady than popping five or six Librium at once, and instead of blessed cloudy numbness she's intensely aware. She loves the smell and taste of him, the warm press of his hands on her back and neck and how clearly he wants to reconnect after being apart for all of maybe three hours; loves burying her fingers in his hair while sunlight pours in the windows and coffee scents the air. Everything feels full of blissful promise even if she has no idea what's coming.

Part of her still trembles over how badly he can hurt her if he chooses to now; her king caught in a mating net as surely as his; both of them free to make the next move. Worries that since this high is so exhilarating, the low is sure to be brutal. Wants to brace for impact; pull a wall up or make some distance between them out of reflex.

But from the way he's cradling her close and the open emotion in his eyes, she really doesn't think he will.

“...Been keeping your phone off the hook so you could get some sleep- I still remember how this 'Groundbreaking Win' circus goes. That was Hilton. He says 'Hi.' And congrats, again.”

He pauses and glances away before continuing. “...He's also going to ask around, see if anybody's interested in taking over my lease. Did you know that Kentucky Chess Federation memberships are five dollars cheaper than New York State ones?” There's a wary look in his eyes, but his expression is also slyly hopeful.

Beth smiles slowly, cheeks flushing. “...I didn't. Sounds like a savings if you switched. Free curbside parking here, too,” she muses casually, and he grins.

“...Yeah?”

She nods, unable to say aloud just how much she wants him here, like this, all the time.

He lowers his eyes uneasily and tilts his head. “Just to warn you... I've never done the couple thing before, Beth.”

She shrugs and makes a wry face. “Me neither. But... I want to try. If you do,” she adds, glancing up to meet his eye.

He smiles crookedly, tucking her hair back, like it's been something he's wanted to do for ages. “...You know I do.”

He leans forward and they kiss again before they jolt apart when the phone rings and he heaves an annoyed sigh and glances at the clock. “...I can run interference if you want to have your coffee and breakfast first.”

She makes a resigned face before shaking her head and reaching for the phone- might as well get it over with.

“...Hello?”

Benny doesn't say anything, just gestures towards the chair for her to sit before going to pour her a cup of coffee and bring her the plate he'd fixed.

“Thank you,” she mouths at him, and he grips her shoulder, thumb making affectionate circles for a moment before he ducks close to whisper, “Gonna shower,” and heads back upstairs.

She sips her coffee and agrees to reschedule meeting the President, apologizing for the flight delay in Russia. Then she idly peeks into the sandwich he'd made while she listens to the official explain about the security measures to expect upon arrival at the White House and her eyes widen.

It's an egg and ham sandwich with thin sliced pickles- her favorite from that deli on Third they'd often gone to- she hadn't realized he'd noticed.

Beth can't believe she's smiling mushily at a sandwich, her cheeks flushing warm.

She's suddenly certain the couple thing is going to work out just fine.

~fin

@lyrawhite

#beth x benny #beth harmon #benny watts #tqg fic #wip wednesday #it's so fluffy! #food as a metaphor for love #is one of my favorite tropes #the deli on third is a book reference #going to be based on show canon but will probably glean details from the book when they fit #i have no idea how long this is going to be #but just looking at the plan it's going to be multichap #lmk if you want to be tagged #when i post tidbits #mine #an exchange of kings #check and mate

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Good Life

Just a little something based on the song by OneRepublic that follows the course of Auston’s relationship with you. ♡

Word Count: 8.2k

A/N: The first updated rewrite with Carson 🥺

Series Masterlist

A low groan left Carson's mouth as she tried to move from where she was trapped, ending up letting out a huff of defeat because she just wasn't able to. Her boyfriend's body rippled with laughter from where he laid directly on top of her, finding humour in the way she whined and squirmed beneath him. However, he didn't let her struggle for too long because soon enough, he was mumbling sweet nothings and placing soft kisses along her exposed collarbone. 

"Auston, we need to get up," Carson whispered breathlessly as his mouth came in contact with that one spot he knew drove her wild. 

"Says who?" He asked while smirking against her skin, waiting for a moment before beginning to suck on the sensitive area. 

Carson couldn't help the moan that left her mouth as he did this, but still, she knew she couldn't let him go too far with his antics. 

"Says the entire Toronto Maple Leafs franchise."

At that, Auston paused. Staying still for a moment before slowly moving away so that he could get a good look at her, a boyish grin dancing on his lips as he did so. 

Despite how hard Carson tried, she couldn't keep her eyes from roaming his naked upper body. Taking in his still wet torso from the shower he just took and how the towel he had loosely wrapped around his hips looked like it could fall right off at any second. 

Carson woke up shortly after Auston and snuck into the en-suite to brush her teeth, going unnoticed as he washed up in the steam-filled shower while a Drake song played from the Bluetooth speaker. Part of her wanted to join him, but the other more logical part decided to settle on stripping down so she could wrap herself in a towel before returning to the bedroom and waiting to take her shower once he was done. 

Auston was on a bit of a time crunch. He and the rest of the team were to fly out to St. Louis for a game later that night as a kickstart to an away stretch that lasted over a week. It sucked, and Carson dreaded the thought, but there wasn't much she could do. She was way too proud of him ever to let him know just how sad she was at the thought of him leaving. 

However, Auston knew. 

He knew Carson wasn't thrilled about him being away because he wasn't too keen on leaving her either. He wished she could just join him, but she had a life to live in Toronto whether he was there or not, and he wasn't going to make her sacrifice any of it for him regardless of how badly he wanted to just so the two of them could be close to one another. 

Leaving was the most challenging part, but he knew damn well that Carson would always be there whenever he got back. That's what made it a little easier, but seeing her in nothing but a towel on their shared king-sized bed once he emerged from the washroom made the dread of going away for work that much more prominent. 

"I don't want to go," he groaned and nuzzled into the crook of Carson's neck after placing a soft peck to her lips. 

"Yes, you do," she chuckled and started mindlessly running her hand through his hair. "You have so much fun on the road with your team and just being out there doing what you love."

"Yeah, but I don't like when it means being away from you for a long time."

"It's just a week, Aus," she explained gently before placing a kiss on his temple. "We've been through a lot worse than this. You need to go and show the world what you're made of."

"Would be better if you were there as I did," he pouted, and Carson sighed. 

"I wish I could be, but you know I'll be cheering for you as if I was there."

At that, Auston smiled. The scruff of his moustache tickled against Carson's skin slightly, causing a soft chuckle to escape her mouth before Auston sat up to look at her again. He couldn't get over how lucky he was to have found such a supportive and caring girlfriend like her. Auston's relationship with Carson contributed to some of the best years of his life thus far, and he was so thankful to have her by his side as he experienced them.

The two of them started their relationship in early 2017, some months after Carson and Auston first met on the night of his first NHL game. She was there cheering on her cousin and Auston's teammate, Mitch Marner, and after initially meeting, became friends and eventually started dating. Almost three years after they finally got together, they were still going strong, living together, and looking forward to what the future held. 

"You know, I could always just fly back tonight after the game. We don't play in Vancouver until Tuesday, so I'd be away for less time."

"As much as I'd love that," Carson started while shifting so that she could get out from underneath Auston. "And believe me, I would. You're going to have a blast on this road trip with the guys, babe. You have the chance to get out of the city and do your thing before having to be out west for all of next week, so take it. Enjoy your time out of Ontario, I know I would, and I'll be here when you get back."

"I know," he replied as he rolled off of her then sat on the edge of the bed so that Carson could stand up. "Just going to miss you is all."

"And I'm going to miss you," she replied as she stood in front of him and cupped his face so that she could place another peck to his lips. "So, so much."

Auston used the position the two of them were in to his advantage as he wrapped his arms around Carson's waist and pulled her closer for a much deeper kiss. 

Now, Carson wasn't one to stop a good thing once it got going. The way her hands snaked around Auston's neck and tangled themselves into his hair was a good indication of that, but she knew that he really did have to go and was the first to start pulling away. 

"Nice try," she muttered against his lips before he let out a defeated sigh. "You need to get dressed, Tyson will be here soon, and then I need to get you both to the airport, so you don't miss your flight."

"Was worth a shot," he replied and playfully reached out to tug on Caron's towel as she began walking away. 

"Auston!" 

"Hurry, I need to spend more time with you before I leave. Please?"

"Not with that attitude. I'm going to take my time now," Carson said before sticking her tongue out at him.

He shook his head at his girlfriend before another screech left her mouth as he bolted up off the bed and rushed after her, following her inside the bathroom and making the chances of him being late much more likely. 

~*~

"God, how could I be so stupid?"

"It's actually pretty entertaining if I'm honest," Steph said with a chuckle from her end of the phone. "Mitch thinks it's great."

"I think it was impulsive and idiotic," Carson pouted while leaned against the elevator wall as it took her up to the floor of her and Auston's condo. 

"You were drunk. At least it's small and barely noticeable."

Carson's gaze fell to the inner part of her left wrist where the skin was irritated and now had a tiny 34 permanently inked on the once unscathed area, a sigh escaping her mouth as she took it in yet again. 

It was a Sunday in late January, and the day before, Carson spent drinking wine with Steph and a few other friends for a little girls day while the boys were out of town for a game. Typically not being one to get absolutely hammered, Carson did go a little harder than intended when a few rounds of shots were bought and ended up being an absolute write-off before the game even started. Being a tad impulsive and very brave drunk, she decided she'd get a tattoo just after dinner, and no one felt like stopping her. In fact, they encouraged it.

"I know, but what if I end up extremely regretting it for some reason?" Carson asked as she glanced up to see her floor approaching. 

"How so?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "What if Auston changes his jersey number?"

"I think you're being dramatic," Steph stated with another laugh. 

"Ok, but what if we were to break u-."

"You can't think about it like that!" Steph cut her off immediately. 

"Steph, I'd feel so much stupider than I already do."

"Well, you do not need to. That man is so head over heels in love with you, and I know that you feel the same, or else you would've never considered the tattoo in the first place. If you're that worried, just keep it hidden."

"Worst case scenario is that you're just going to inflate his ego even more," Mitch's voice blared from the background, causing Carson to laugh. 

"He's got a point," Steph said while Carson shook her head just as the elevator doors opened up. "Look, if you don't want Auston to see it yet, then you don't have to show him, ok? Just do whatever makes you comfortable, although I really do think you're overthinking this."

"You're probably right," Carson groaned as she walked down the hallway and fished out her keys in the process. "I guess I'll decide once I see him."

"You're going to be fine, but please let me know how it goes if you do show him."

"Of course," she told Steph as she unlocked the door and heard shuffling around from somewhere on the other side. "I'll talk to you later."

"See ya!"

Once she was inside, Carson placed her phone back in her bag, took her shoes off and hung up her coat before creeping towards the kitchen since Auston had no idea she was home yet. Post Malone's Allergic became louder the closer Carson got, as did her boyfriend's off-key singing. When she finally reached the entryway, she peaked her head inside to see him putting away some groceries while bopping his head to the beat of the song. 

He was wearing a simple grey pullover sweater, some Roots track pants, a black beanie and his glasses, looking relatively comfortable for his day off, and Carson couldn't help but just stand there and observe him for a moment. The song Enemies began playing next, and Auston went off just as hard as he did to the song prior while he finished unpacking the last bit of food he bought, causing Carson to laugh a little and for his gaze to snap towards her. 

"Aus, Post's concert is still over a month away."

"Can never be too ready," Auston said with a smile before moving around the large island he stood behind to walk over and engulf her in a hug. "Missed you."

"Missed you too," Carson replied and pulled away slightly so that she could place a soft kiss on his lips. "Even though I saw you yesterday morning."

"Minor details," he winked before slithering away from Carson's grasp and back over to where he was standing before resuming his much more lowkey dancing along to the music. "Also, I missed Post the last time he was here. You were lucky enough to go without me."

"Oh, I know because you never let me live it down. Thought us spending Valentine's Day at his next concert here might be a good way to make up for that."

"It's a step in the right direction," Auston chuckled and spun around to put a carton of orange juice in the fridge. "How was your night, er-, day out with the girls yesterday?"

Carson's eyes immediately widened before she glanced down to see her tattoo wholly exposed and out in the open, not wasting a single second to pull the sleeve of her hoodie down in an attempt to keep it hidden. "Uh, great! Really fun."

"That's good. I heard you got a little wild."

"Now, who would you have heard that from?" She asked innocently as she moved around the island to help put the rest of the groceries away. 

"No one in particular," he started. "But the voicemail you left saying how much you loved me but also how you may actually love our bed, even more, was a dead giveaway."

"Ah, fair enough. I really do love that bed, though."

"Believe me, I know." 

The two of them laughed, and Carson shook her head at the playful smirk he looked at her with. 

"You weren't here when I got home this morning. Did you stay somewhere else?"

"Yeah, I crashed on Steph and Mitch's couch. I guess I thought that'd be easier than coming home for some reason," she explained. "Not like they live very far away."

"So you're saying that Mitchy got to see you before I did?" Auston scoffed dramatically. "I'm hurt."

"You'll get over it, drama queen," Carson responded while rolling her eyes. "I'm here now, aren't I?"

"Yes, and I'm very glad."

Auston then walked towards Carson and pulled her in for another soft peck. She smiled against his lips as her arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. It wasn't very often the two of them had days off together where they could chill and not worry about having to be somewhere else. It was something Carson and Auston both cherished greatly, and finally, having a day to hang out at home together made the two of them extremely happy. 

"Why don't we finish putting away these groceries, and then we can put on a movie or something?"

"Deal," he responded and moved away so he could go back to what he was doing. Carson grabbed the package of spaghetti and jars of tomato sauce that laid near him on the counter and took them over to the pantry. As she was putting the items away, Auston came up behind her with a box of cereal to reach over and put on a shelf as well, but instead of moving away like one usually would, he froze, and Carson could feel him looking down at her. "What's that?"

"What's what?" She asked as she put the last jar on the shelf before turning around to face him. However, when Carson looked at him, he was looking downwards and not trying to make eye contact with her at all. 

"On your wrist. Did you get a tattoo?"

At that, Carson gulped and let her gaze fall to where Auston gently reached out to grab her wrist so he could observe it better. Her sleeve still covered most of the tattoo, but the top of it was definitely out in the open and Carson was not surprised her boyfriend would've noticed such a thing. 

"I-," Carson stated, entirely ready to deny everything, but then decided there was no point in lying. "Yeah. I guess you could say that."

"Can I see it?" He asked softly, looking at her for permission before he moved the sleeve out of the way entirely. While biting down on her bottom lip nervously, Carson nodded and watched as he tugged down the piece of clothing and displayed the tiny 34 that resided there, a smile lighting upon his face as he did so. 

She watched Auston as he gently ran his thumb over the sensitive skin as if making sure the ink wasn't going to run away and how his smile grew even wider when it didn't. 

"I was feeling pretty impulsive last night," Carson explained. "And you were on my mind. I've thought about getting a tattoo like this before. I just never thought I'd be gutsy enough to do it… even if I was not sober when it happened. Do you like it?"

"I love it," Auston said, then looked back to her. "I think you're wild for doing it, but how could I not like it?"

"I don't know, though you might think it was stupid or something."

"Cheesy, yes," he chuckled. "But not stupid. I really do love it, Carson."

"Ok good," she smiled before Auston pulled her into his embrace. 

The two of them stood there for a minute, just enjoying each other's presence before Auston started laughing and ruined the moment completely. 

"What's your deal?" Carson asked, pulling away so that she could look up at him. 

"Nothing," he stated while trying to contain his laughter but failing miserably. "It's just that I was thinking, what if I got a tattoo for you."

"Auston," she warned, knowing exactly where he was going with this. 

"What? I think it'd be really cool. Maybe I'll go all Drake style and get your face tattooed on my thigh or something."

"Your thigh?" Carson asked offendedly, causing Auston to burst out laughing this time. "First off, you are not getting my face tattooed anywhere on your body. Second, your thigh Auston? Of all places?"

"I could probably think of a worse spot. Maybe like, right here along my collarbone..."

"That's it, I'm done with you," she said and walked out of the room, leaving him to hunch over and cry laugh all alone. 

~*~

With hockey being a contact sport and Carson being the girlfriend and cousin of a player for said activity, she knew well enough about how scary it could be to know someone who has gotten hurt. She's lived through it with Auston and Mitch, having witnessed the odd game where they were hit in the wrong place a little too hard and having to wait anxiously to hear whether they were ok or not, all while not trying to lose her mind in the process. 

It sucked a lot. But it was never something Auston and Mitch thought they'd have to experience when it came to Carson. 

It was a home game against Washington on a rainy night at the beginning of April. Usually, when the Caps were in town, Carson would tease Auston about how she used to have a crush on Tom Wilson before she met her boyfriend, and Auston would roll his eyes. She never meant it seriously, and Auston never took it to heart either, but this particular day, they were both just very short with one another, and the teasing did not go over well. 

Auston was stressed over what was to come from the upcoming game, with it being near the beginning of playoff season and the Leafs winning being crucial. Meanwhile, Carson was just exhausted. Work had been kicking her ass lately. She was working towards a Public Relations Manager position in the office she was already a PR officer for, and on top of it, she was doing freelance writing and editing on the side. It had been a wild ride when it came to her career since she graduated from UofT almost a year prior. To put it simply, Carson felt so all over the place with everything else going on that she hadn't even noticed how stressed Auston was, and he didn't notice how beat she was either. 

The two of them had a bit of a tiff. Just a petty little argument that wasn't necessary, and they both felt terrible about it the moment Carson stormed away from Auston to barricade herself in their shared bedroom, making sure to slam the door for extra emphasis on her frustrations. Auston left after that and headed to the arena, but not without softly knocking on the door to tell Carson how sorry he was before departing. 

With it being so close to playoffs and Carson wanting to be at every game she could, supporting the man she loved regardless of stupid fights they had every once in a while, there was no way she was going to miss that game. 

Auston's parents Ema and Brian, were in town, and Carson planned to sit and cheer Auston on with them like she had so many times before. But she never made it to SBA. 

While glancing up into the stands during warmups, Auston noticed that Carson wasn't there with his parents. He looked at his mom questionably, and she shook her head unknowingly. Ema didn't get a text from Carson saying she was on her way like she usually would have, and when she called to make sure everything was alright, Carson didn't pick up. There was a nagging feeling eating away at Ema as the game started, and Carson still hadn't shown up, but she tried not to think of anything negative and focused on her son. 

Auston thought Carson was still mad, and that's why she didn't show up. It made sense, and although he was really bummed thinking that, he had to be there for his team and knew he would be able to talk to her as soon as the game was over if she let him.

The Leafs ended up winning, having an early lead thanks to a goal Auston scored with the assistance of John and Willy. Everyone was ecstatic, they were one step closer to gaining a playoff spot, and Toronto's atmosphere was just unreal. But something felt off. 

Once the initial on-ice celebrations concluded, the team made their way to the dressing room in high spirits, but as he was leaving the ice, Auston noticed something he just couldn't prevent a horrible feeling from forming because of. He glanced up towards his family one last time to see Ema looking at her phone with watering eyes and her hand covering her mouth while showing Brian whatever it was on the screen and him looking at it with pure shock. 

Auston tried not to think about it. He knew that his mother would fill him in as soon as she could, and he had no need to stress until she did, so with a quick shake of his head, he headed to the dressing room. 

He was the last of the team to get there, having been distracted by watching his parents. And as soon as he walked through the door, almost everyone fell silent. They all looked to him with unreadable glances, some even refusing to look him in the eyes, and he instantly knew something terrible had happened. 

"What's going on?" He asked, feeling himself growing insanely anxious as he looked at his teammates and crew, noticing not one camera was rolling trying to get a post-game comment like there usually was.

"Have you heard from Carson?" Freddie was the first to speak up, causing Auston's heart to plummet.

"I- no, not since I left to come here. Why?"

"Matts, she was in a car accident," Mitch said hesitantly, visibly upset about the news as well. "Steph was calling me as soon as we got in here, I knew it had to be an emergency, but fuck, I didn't think it was that. We don't know the details, but Carson was taken to the hospital and-."

Auston went silent, shell shocked, unable to even wrap his head around the thought of Carson getting hurt in some way. Soon enough, his feet were taking him in the direction of the door before he could even comprehend what was happening. But not without being stopped first. 

"Aus, you can't drive like this," Willy stated as he blocked Auston's path.

"I need to get to her."

"We know," Mo spoke up and started guiding him over to his spot next to JT, making sure he sat down before continuing. "But you just driving off after getting something like that thrown at you is not going to help the situation. One of us will take you. You're not going alone."

"Get changed, and we can go," Mitchy told Auston, shaking his head as he still tried to process it all. "I need to go and let my family know what happened. Steph just got there. She'll let us know if she hears anything. But, it's going to be ok, it has to be."

"You don't know that, though," Auston said quietly before looking at his friend. "What if she's not ok?"

"Don't think about it like that," JT said firmly while looking between Auston and Mitch. "Just hurry up, go be there for her and trust that she'll be fine. It's all the two of you can do."

"Auston, your parents are waiting for you outside," a voice called, but Auston didn't bother to look at who said it. He just nodded and quietly got changed from his hockey gear as quickly as he could before joining his parents and Mitch for an Uber ride to the hospital.

It wasn't a long drive to Toronto General Hospital, but time couldn't seemingly have gone by any slower. Auston was anxious, and so many scenarios were running through his head as he remained silent and stared out the window. 

The other three didn't know what they could say to help ease his worries because they were all feeling pretty stressed themselves. Carson's family wasn't in the city when the accident happened, and that was a call that still had to be made. Her dad and sister Mya were in Vancouver, while her brother Nate was in Montreal, so they weren't necessarily close. Auston, his parents, Mitch and Steph, were all she had at the time, and they were determined to be there for when she needed them most. 

Ema explained to Auston that his sister, Breyana, had texted her and said what happened, with a link to an article she saw on Twitter. Coverage about the accident was all over the news. There were pictures of two totalled cars just down the street from the arena, videos of the police redirecting traffic, and of course, the mentioning of how Auston Matthews' girlfriend was involved in the crash, but he couldn't bear to look at any of it. 

From what everyone gathered, Carson was not at fault. Seeing as the crash happened before the game even started, the police had finished their investigation and released a statement. They said how the other driver ran a red light and plowed into the passenger side of another vehicle passing through the York St. and Bremner Blvd. intersection. The police then went on to say that the driver who caused the accident was intoxicated. The man and the driver of the other vehicle had been taken to the hospital with injuries. That other driver was Carson. 

When they arrived and climbed out of the Uber, no one knew what they were getting into when they walked through those hospital doors, but luckily Steph was there to soften the blow. 

"I just talked to the doctor," Steph stated and stood up from her seat in the waiting room once she saw everyone walking towards her. Mitch immediately engulfed her in a tight hug, which she returned, but was also quick in looking back to Auston because she knew how badly his feelings would have been eating him alive at the moment. "She's awake… she's hurt, but she's going to be ok."

Audible sighs of relief left everyone in the room as Ema reached over to gently squeeze her son's hand reassuringly. Before anything else could be said, though, a doctor entered the room and greeted everyone. The doctor explained how she was the one in charge of tending to Carson's injuries when she was brought in to the hospital and that after one more examination, she should be fine to go home with Auston. 

"Do you mind telling us what's wrong? Do I need to do anything once she's home to make sure she's ok?" Auston's voice cracked as he asked his question, clearly still shaken up from the whole ordeal. 

"Just make sure Carson gets some rest and takes it easy over the next few days," the doctor told him with a smile. "She's definitely got a concussion and has torn the muscle in her left shoulder. She'll probably be in a bit of pain, so I've prescribed her some medication if she needs it, but other than that, she should make a speedy recovery as long as she doesn't overwork herself. This could have been a lot worse, but the seatbelt and airbags in the vehicle sure did their jobs."

"Can we see her?"

"Of course," she replied with a nod. "She's been asking for you."

The doctor then led the five of them down a couple of hallways of the emergency room before stopping in front of a closed door and smiled once more, telling them she'd be back in about 15 minutes or so. Once she was gone, Auston slowly opened the door and walked into the room.

Carson was sitting upright in the hospital bed, her long brown hair resting in a messy bun on top of her head and still wearing her Matthews jersey while looking utterly exhausted. There was a nasty gash above her left eyebrow, but other than that and the very obvious sling her arm rested in, she looked pretty good for someone who had just gotten into a severe car accident.

As soon as the door opened, Carson snapped her gaze to see who it was coming into her room. She was quick in locking eye contact with her boyfriend once she realized it was him, and as a result of that, she immediately started sobbing.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's ok," Auston soothed as he rushed over to the side of the bed, hesitating to pull Carson into his embrace because he didn't know how much pain she was in.

"I totalled your car!"

"Carse, I don't care about the car," he assured her as he started wiping away her tears with the pads of his thumbs before leaning down to place a delicate yet firm kiss on her forehead. When he pulled away, he cupped Carson's face in his hands and looked at her with a serious gaze. "The car can be replaced. You cannot. God, babe, you scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry," she blubbered as she used her arm that wasn't in a sling to wrap around Auston's middle and pulled him close. He began rubbing soft circles on her back as she cried into his chest as a way to calm her down a bit, which worked wonders. "It all happened so fast. I-I didn't even see the guy coming until it was too late."

What made this an even more difficult situation than before this one, Carson had only been in one other car accident. One that unfortunately resulted in her mother passing away when Carson was just 13. Auston could only imagine what was running through his girlfriend's head at that moment but continued just focusing on her at that moment. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for. All any of us care about is that you're ok, Carson. That's all that matters. Now I need you to take a few deep breaths for me, ok? How's your head?"

"It aches a bit," she told Auston as she moved away to look at him again and followed his movements of taking deep, calming breaths. "I'm more tired than anything."

"I can imagine," he responded with a smile. "As soon as the doctor comes back and gives us the ok, we'll get you home and in bed. Sounds good?"

"Sounds amazing."

Auston chuckled slightly, amazed at how even after being in a car accident, Carson tried to make light of the situation. He then leaned down to place a soft kiss on her lips before moving to the other side of the bed and sitting next to her so that everyone else could see her as well. 

Auston watched as his parents greeted her with big hugs while being mindful of her injuries and expressed how glad they were that she was alright. Mitch and Steph were next, who jokingly scolded Carson for scaring them but also wasted no time in pulling her in for a hug as well. 

Soon after, the doctor returned and gave Carson a final once over. She held tightly onto Auston's hand as the doctor went over what to do if Carson wasn't seeing improvements in her injuries within the next few days, as well as how to get a hold of her if something were to happen. Once she was done giving the spiel and explaining how the sling would have to stay on for a few weeks, Carson was given the ok to leave.

Afterwards, Mitch went home with Steph because Ema and Brian insisted on taking Carson and Auston back to their condo. As soon as she was home, Carson changed into some comfy clothing and crawled into bed. Auston was right there with her, making sure she was alright, before crawling in beside her and making sure he held onto her just a little bit tighter as he fell asleep.

~*~

Christmas time in Toronto was always a very festive time of year. The market was on at The Distillery District, the CN Tower always had a stunning red and green light show going on each night, and there were plenty of things to do in and around the city. However, the best part of this specific year was that Auston had a couple of days off from playing hockey.

The Leafs had won their last game before their small holiday break, and Carson was off work until the new year. She loved having time off with Auston, but every once in a while, it got to the point where they didn't know what to do.

It was Christmas Eve, and the two of them were cuddled up on the couch as a rerun of the Grinch finished playing. Although it was late, they weren't that tired; therefore, boredom ensued.

"Want to go for a walk?" Carson suggested after a few moments of contemplation.

"It's 11:30 at night," Auston chuckled.

"And what about it?"

"Nothing," he stated while shaking his head. "It's just that I have a better idea, I think."

Carson looked at him skeptically, shifting so that he could see her questioning gaze. "Go on."

"We could go skating," he proposed, and this time, Carson let out a laugh. "What? We could go to the rink at Harbourfront. It's late. I doubt anyone will be there, especially on Christmas Eve."

"Why do I have a feeling you planned this?" She asked while shaking her head. "It's too well thought out."

"So what if I did? Come on. It'll be fun. It'll kind of be like…"

 "Our first date." She finished for him, watching as he nodded in agreement. "God Aus, that was so long ago."

 It was true, though. During Auston's first season with the Leafs, while Carson was still in university, the two of them met and became friends. Perks of him playing on the same team as her cousin. 

 The two of them had been seeing each other but weren't officially a couple for almost a month, then one late night in January, Auston asked Carson to go skating with him at that same ice rink. Things were a bit weird between them after that date. They'd gotten into a bit of a fight for a couple of weeks after discussing what they were, but Auston knew he needed to fix that. After making up and officially becoming a couple, Auston invited Carson on another skating date the following evening. 

It was a weekend in February, two nights before the Leafs Centennial gala, to be exact, and Carson was bored at home watching Netflix alone because her roommate Lexie wasn't there. So she hopped on the TTC and met him there, only to find that he brought two pairs of hockey gloves and two sticks so they could play some one-on-one.

 Carson could tell that Auston was ready to go easy on her, but she was competitive and wanted to give him a run for his money. Auston was caught off guard, naturally, which made him competitive too, but he still made sure not to go full NHL-er on her. It was a playful match. He let her win but still got his prize when he leaned in finally kiss her, and she let him.

 The rest was history.

 Carson couldn't help but smile as she thought back to that night. Although it was almost four years ago, the memory still made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and Auston could tell that's exactly what she was thinking about.

 Slowly, Carson looked up to see him smirking down at her and rolled her eyes. "Fine, let's go."

 The two of them climbed off the couch, and once they were all bundled up, they headed to the rink. Which luckily wasn't too far at all.

 Auston talked Carson into a rematch of one-on-one while on the way there. She was more than ready to make a sad attempt at destroying him in a game of hockey again, so she accepted his challenge, becoming relieved when they reached their destination and saw that there was no one else skating around.

 "Told ya we'd have the place to ourselves," he told her with a smug grin as she sat down, and he helped tie up her skates.

 "Whatever, Matthews," Carson replied as he grabbed her hands and pulled her up once he was done. Once she was standing upright and had balanced herself out, he began skating backward and started pulling her with him, which Carson let him do as she smiled widely at him. "Thought you wanted to play hockey?"

 "We can eventually," he replied. "But I kinda like just doing this with you for now."

 Carson tried to hide the blush burning its way across her cheeks as he continued guiding her around the rink, but Auston noticed and made sure to send her a wink once she made eye contact with him again. 

"Good, cause I do too."

 After a little bit, he let go of one hand but kept the other linked with hers as the two of them began skating side by side. They did that for 20 minutes or so, just going around the rink together as they talked and teased each other. Then they finally decided to play some hockey.

Just like the first time Auston and Carson had done something like this, she was more than aware that she was no match against Auston when it came to hockey whatsoever, but he went easy on her again. The game was never really a game, though. After two face-offs that ended in him wrapping his arms around Carson's waist and pulling her against him so that she couldn't chase after the puck, the two of them decided to just do trick shots into the little makeshift net he made between a pair of Carson's gloves and Auston's hat.

 It didn't take long for him to start showing off, so Carson let him. How could she not? Auston's an incredibly talented athlete, and Carson loved watching him, even though he was a little extra at times. Plus, she was having a lot of fun.

 After they grew tired and cold, the two of them headed back home to call it a night. It was well after midnight. They had to be up early to get on a flight to Arizona, seeing as they were spending a very brief holiday with Auston's family before flying to Chicago for a game on the 27th and eventually back to Toronto.

 Carson was pretty exhausted by that point, and Auston could tell she was with how she leaned against him as soon as they were in the elevator of their condo building and let out a loud yawn.

 "Did losing wear you out?" Auston asked jokingly before leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

 "I didn't lose anything. You cheated."

 "Whatever," he chuckled as the doors opened and the two of them started walking down the hall. Auston observed as Carson began fumbling with her keys so she could unlock the door and go inside when suddenly an idea sprung to his mind, and his eyes widened. "Wait, it's technically Christmas."

 A laugh left Carson's mouth as she shook her head at him. "Yes, Auston, what gave it away?"

 "You know what I mean," he replied while rolling his eyes at his girlfriend before following her into the condo.

 "I know, I'm just messing with you. But yes, it is technically Christmas."

"So I can give you your gift, and you can't get mad at me for it."

 "Auston," Carson groaned. He always did this. Forever the child her boyfriend was with, not being able to contain his excitement when it came to gift-giving and seeing her face when she opened something he put a lot of thought into. They always tried to one-up the other when it came to sentiment, too. This year was different, though. The two of them agreed to buy each other only one thing seeing as they always spoiled the other, but realistically, this year was no exception.

 Carson was excited to show Auston his gift. It was something she thought about and saved for, for a long time, and she already knew how much he'd love it. So with that in mind, she agreed to exchange gifts with him before going to bed.

 "Ok fine, we can do gifts now, but I'm giving you yours first."

"If you insist," Auston said with a huge smile while holding his hands up in defence. Carson didn't bother replying as she stuck her tongue out at him while they took off their coats and began guiding him towards the giant Christmas Tree that resided in the living room.

 Once they were there, Carson let go of his hand and reached to the very back of the tree where an envelope resided. Auston gave her a look, noting her clever hiding place before looking down at the envelope and taking it.

 Carson bit down on her bottom lip nervously and excitedly as she watched him take out the card and open it to see what was inside, a small chuckle leaving her mouth while his mouth fell open.

 "Merry Christmas, babe."

 "You didn't," Auston gasped as he took the picture out of the card and looked back at her. "Are you serious?"

 "Yes," she told him while nodding her head and was soon engulfed in a huge hug. Once he was done almost crushing her, Carson took the picture from him then spun around in his hold so they could look at the image of the small, fluffy puppy that was printed on it together. "He's a Miniature Goldendoodle named Frank. The lady we're getting him from said he doesn't really respond to a name just yet, so we can change it."

 "I love Frank," Auston stated while looking at the picture over Carson's shoulder with a goofy grin on his face.

 "I do too," she replied while turning around to face her boyfriend again. "We get to pick him up during the first week of January."

 "I can't believe we're getting a dog," he said while shaking his head. "Thank you so much, wow."

 "You're welcome," Carson told him before standing on her tiptoes so she could peck his lips. "Good luck trying to beat that gift, Matthews."

 Carson meant what she said as a joke, but with the way Auston smirked against her lips and shook his head in disagreement, she knew he took it as a challenge.

 "I wouldn't be so sure," he responded and started walking out of the room.

 "Babe," Carson called after him. "I was kidding-."

 "Just wait there. I'll be right back," Auston responded from down the hall, leaving her to let out a huff of defeat. A pout formed on her bottom lip as she waited for him to return and started wondering what it was he could've possibly bought. Carson began to think back to their first Christmas together and how she insisted on him not buying her something because she didn't need anything. Auston argued by asking if she planned on getting him anything, which she already had so that Carson couldn't fight with him about it after that. His gifts to her were always so meaningful, whether it be something he knew she needed or an item he knew she liked but would never buy for herself. He truly was a fantastic gift-giver.

But for some reason, when Auston returned to the living room, he looked nervous. He was very obviously hiding something behind his back that Carson couldn't see, but with the way he licked his lips and was trying to look anywhere but her, she could tell he was overthinking, giving her whatever it was he held onto.

"Aus," Carson said softly, causing him to snap his gaze to her. "You ok?"

"Yeah," he replied, taking a deep breath. "Just a little nervous is all."

"You have no reason to be, it's just a gift, and I'm sure I'll love it."

"It's more than just a gift, I guess," he explained and walked towards her, making sure not to break eye contact. "Put a lot of thought into this one."

"Auston.." She started but trailed off as he reached out to link his hand with hers and pull her closer.

"I didn't wrap it, though, so you'll have to forgive me."

Carson didn't answer, just gave him a confused look as he bit down on his bottom lip and smiled. He then brought his other hand in front of him to reveal a small velvet box. However, Auston didn't miss a beat and quickly let go of her hand so that he could reach up and open the box, revealing the most stunning diamond ring Carson had ever seen.

"Oh my…" It was all she managed to say as she moved her hands to cover her mouth and look at her boyfriend with teary eyes. "Auston, it's beautiful."

"It comes with a question, too," he smiled as he plucked the ring from its holder and held it closer to her. "Carse, you have made me so insanely happy these years we've been together and continue to do so. I'd be crazy not to want to spend the rest of my life with you, so I guess my question is… will you continue making my selfish ass the happiest man he can be by marrying me?"

A sob left Carson's mouth, and the tears started flowing immensely. She shook her head, still trying to make sure the fact that the man she loved more than anything in the world just asked her to marry him wasn't a dream. Slowly, she opened her eyes to look at him and could tell how anxious he was getting while waiting for a response, so she answered. But, she needed to clarify something as she stared at the ring first. 

"Is that my mom's ring?"

"It is," Auston confirmed, a small breath leaving his mouth. "I, uh, I got it from your dad a couple of months ago. The ring was pretty busted up, but I talked to Nate and Mya to see if they'd be ok with me fixing it, adding a few personal touches and using it to propose."

"Oh my god," Carson sobbed again, thinking about her dad wanting to let Auston take her late mother's wedding ring and Auston asking her brother and sister if he could use it to ask her to marry him. It meant the absolute world to her. "Of course, I'll marry you, Auston. You're crazy to think I wouldn't."

The smile that stretched its way across his mouth before he pulled her in for a deep, loving kiss was something Carson wanted to remember forever. Once he pulled away, Auston tried to play off the fact that he, too, had tears in his eyes as he slid the ring onto her finger and leaned down to kiss her again.

"I love you. So much," Auston muttered against her lips before moving away slightly just so that he could wipe away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"The feeling's mutual," Carson responded. "I love you more than words can describe."

"Well, that's good, 'cause you're stuck with me now."

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

At that, Auston smiled and pulled Carson in for one last hug before suggesting that the two of them head to bed because they'd have to be up in a few short hours. Carson didn't protest and let him lead her down the hall to their bedroom before crawling into bed so she could cuddle up against him. Soon enough, Carson was too tired even to keep her eyes open, but she still couldn't help the smile that remained on her mouth as she fell asleep next to her fiancé.

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