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unohanaswetdream · 1 year

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THE KNOWING PT. 2/3

Now we're lying about the nights

Hiding all it behind the smiles

Take a look at what you did

You probably thought that you'd break my heart

You probably thought that you'd make me cry

But, baby, it's okay

I swear it's okay

♡♡♡ summary: - A glimpse into yours and Ignacio's relationship -

Something happened to your insides as you gave the girls one last glance at their state before you left them for Ignacio, nonetheless you choose to ignore it.

AO3 | PT.1 | PT.2 | PT.3

3.2k words

A/N i would recommend reading pt.1 ! but it doesn't matter if you read it before or after this part. smut ! smut ! and more smut ! was all it was meant to be but dw it will still be there, i just got carried away with reader's interactions w jo n amber n accidentally made them have a threesome ; / partly bc I want one with them LOL. so bc of that i had to split this into two chapters and have reader x Ignacio in the next one. But if you want to skip the threesome i will place '-----' at where it starts and finishes.

also, there is just more focus on reader's internal monologue than originally planned. bc of this there are dark and heavy themes of addiction where the reader is not the nicest which was reflected on in pt. 1 by the reader when they talk abt their and Ignacio's treatment of amber and jo. so pls be careful and remember to put yourself first .

WARNINGS - 18+ please - explicit depictions of sex - talks of addiction and usage of drugs - unhealthy/toxic depiction of relationships - swearing

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Stepping out of the car, phone against your ear ‘yes baby, I will be safe, yes… yes we have a designated driver… no I will not be drinking much… what do you mean ?.. oh, no I will not be doing drugs, honey you are like a worried mother hen… yeah yeah, I understand you are looking out for me, well if I have an overdose which I won’t the only drugs I will ever be doing is weed, the other shit increases my paranoia tenfold’.

Arriving at the door you knock only for Jo and Amber to welcome you in as you continue talking on the phone, ‘yeah I just got here… girls say hi’.

Liar. Cheater.

In their inebriated state they responded with a slurred yet confused ‘hi’ making it apparent they were not in the right mindset to be talking to anyone let alone knowing what was happening in the world around them.

You huffed in annoyance at their mindless state, how dare they embarrass you in front of your husband acting like out-of-control addicts, you wish you could have told him that they really weren’t your friends. You would never be caught willingly hanging out with people like them and knowing your husband probably thought you were voluntarily chilling with them frustrated you to no end, these bitches just did not know when to stop embarrassing you.

You are a disgusting and horrible person.

‘Are they ok-‘.

You cut him off, ‘okay well I’m here baby, see you tomorrow’.

‘Just please stay safe, I love y-‘, you end the call not caring what else he had to say.

You do not deserve him.

Turning to the girls you flash a grin almost reminiscent of the infamous striped pink and purple cat, The Cheshire Cat, thinking about what drugs were on the menu and what you fancied for the night.

‘Girls, girls, girls’, your voice like a siren calling them in as you walked up to them, moulding your body into theirs.

You lower your lips to their ears, giving a soft nibble on Jo’s lobe ‘what is on the menu tonight’.

You think you are better than them ? You are not nor will you ever be, you are worse than them combined or even times two.

None of them were in any state to respond but that did not mean their cognitive ability was completely impaired as they both understood what you meant, Amber grabbed your perfectly manicured hand and led you to the living room so she could present you the goods. The small glass table was covered in little bags with different substances, from clear and hard to opaque and fluffy like freshly fallen snow. Little buds scattered around the red leather two-seater, the one which was closest to the kitchen, the bong tipped over saturating the couch and buds.

You took a deep exhale at the mess, what a waste you thought as you looked at the now dampen buds.

This is a cry for help don’t you see ?

‘My loves do not sit on that wet two-seater until I clean it up okay’. They just nodded and sat on the dry couch to continue watching tv.

You grabbed the loose buds and bong to take it into the kitchen, grabbing the paper towel next to the tap you sandwich the buds between the two pieces of paper, drying them off as well as you could. Once satisfied you left the buds on a fresh piece of paper towel to continue drying off, while you filled the bong up with fresh water. It was an ordinary bong, it had green and blue tinted swirls on the glass with a classic base, a ring of decolouration on the inside of the bong demonstrating it had not been cared for. You could tell Ignacio bought it for them without a care in the world if they would like it or not. It was probably the first one and the cheapest one he saw, something that would get the job done, he was not a thoughtful person, especially if it was for someone, he did not give a flying fuck about them or what they wanted.

You decided to take the whole roll of paper towels to dry the couch off with, yet something caught your eye as you were about to leave, the top kitchen drawer which in any other house would be the cutlery drawer. You carefully opened it so the girls would not notice you, allowing you to snag a little baggy filled with white powder to take home – a normal occurrence when you would come to Ignacio’s house, you’d refuse to call it a habit even with the glaring evidence that you started coming over to his house more and more frequently since you discovered what was hiding in there – not caring that technically you were stealing, but what would they do, call the cops ? Like hell, the worse they could do is cry to Ignacio yet, he would just chalk it up to them being too high to remember and even if they blamed you, you were the favourite and you would take whatever advantage that would come with it.

You are just as reliant on that shit like they are and yet you judge them without knowing how they got to be here.

Running your hand over the laminated bench that tried its hardest to look like marble, you were disgusted. With the sheer amount of drugs Ignacio had within this house he could easily get real marble for the whole house let alone the bench, what was he doing with his life.

Projecting much, huh ?

You’re so miserable it is embarrassing.

Slipping the bag into the pocket of your jacket, you beelined back to the couch with the bong in one hand and the roll of paper towels in the other determined to have the couch cleaned as soon as possible so you could begin to unwind.

Finally, you place the back of your hand on the couch to make sure it was dry enough to sit on, the paper towels you used to wipe the water thrown on the floor, honestly you did not care if it was wet, you just wanted to take a hit and a drink of the Smirnoff that was on the floor eyeing you seductively.

‘Hey, Jo could you be a dear for me and pass me that grinder on the floor and the bottle of Smirnoff, thank you baby girl’.

As you received your gifts from jo, you sat yourself in the middle of the couch your legs spread like you were man spreading not caring if your skirt wasn’t covering anything. You placed the bottle to the left of you and checked in the top compartment of the grinder to see if there was any weed left to grind only to find it empty and this is where you started to pray that there was some either in the chamber or kief compartment but knowing how mindless they were they probably forgot about that bottom compartment.

Just because they do drugs does not mean they are idiots; you are still one when you are sober.

God pulled through and low and behold there it was, in the chamber so as prophecy would have it you started packing the bowl, yet Jo was still standing in front of you, causing you to look up at her.

Jo looked down at you almost frightened causing you to smirk ‘can I light it for you ?’.

It was a question in a question, can I sit on you ? You knew that was what she was actually asking permission for because every time you came over, she would ask you that exact question, look uncomfortable while lighting it so you would ask her if being in your lap would be more comfortable for her. She’d say yes with no hesitation.

‘Hop on princess and light me up.’

Two face.

And she did what she was told, sitting across your legs, your left arm cupping her ass occasionally drumming your fingers on one of her cheeks. You brought the bong to your mouth as she went to light the weed up, sucking in, creating bubbles in the water encouraging the smoke to move through the water into your mouth, you felt it glide down your throat like a sailboat on calm seas as you inhaled it into your lungs, holding it there for a second then exhaling and emptying the bowl out on the floor for the girls to clean up later. You repeated these steps multiple times; pack it, light it, smoke it, dump it.

You felt a warmness creeping up on you, dispersing itself throughout your body, reminiscent of what it felt like to be on the verge of falling asleep as your eyesight began to flicker. The long-awaited high had finally arrived and now, your mind finally silenced itself as you felt your body sink itself into the couch.

You rested your eyes, focusing on the environment around you through smell, touch and taste. Jo’s soft, slim bodying pressing up against you while her hand went to play with your hair lulling you into bliss, her shampoo infiltrating your nose relaxing your body. The burn of the branded vodka as you skulled it down like water, heating up your insides like a bonfire.

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Wet kisses on your neck was occupied by an ‘I miss you’by Jo, sighing at the sensation it gave you, you tilted you head to the side giving her more access until,

‘No hickeys’.

Causing her to stop, earning her a ‘good girl from you’. Yet, you still hadn’t opened your eyes until now taking in her tinted cheeks and how her eyes had darkened significantly, you reached around to the back of her head to bring her closer to you so your lips could touch. There was no slow and sensual kiss, it was hot, fast and passionate, teeth grazing, nose bumping, constant moaning and grinding looking for any friction possible as your tongues infiltrated each other’s mouths like they were looking for treasure. Her lips pillowy yet slightly chapped, you could taste remnants of harsh liquor on her, yet you found yourself trying to drink as much of it as possible off her lips. Your hand slithering into and under Jo’s top to cup her tits and fidget with her harden nipples. You glanced over at Amber and despite all of the sounds you guys were making, Amber did not remove her focus off of the tv which played an ocean documentary, you not remembering when the channel changed.

Pulling away from the kiss, you move you lips to Jo’s ear giving it a quick swipe of your tongue ‘be a good girl for me and take of your pants and sit between my legs’, tapping her butt as she got up to follow your instructions.

As she sat between your legs on the couch you used both of your hands to run them over the tops of her thighs to reach her inner thigh so you could pull them a part making her knees rest on top of your thighs leaving her ankles barely hovering above the ground, ensuring that her sheerly covered cunt – for the time being – was exposed to anyone who dared to walk into the living room. Jo’s hair was perfectly parted into two buns that sat atop of her head making it easier to latch your mouth onto her neck while you kneaded the smooth flesh around her hot and achy core which you swore you could feel heat radiating from between her legs. Your mouth finding her pulse, you began to suck causing her to softly whimper, leaving your mark on her.

Using your hand, you lightly ran your fingers up and down the thin fabric covering Jo’s pussy almost like you were patting it, ‘wow already that wet that it is soaking your panties ? Just from kissing ? What a needy little slut you are’.

Feeling her pussy clench against your hand in response, you smirk ‘you know baby, you need to use your words, let me help you, okay ?’

Not caring enough to wait for her to respond you continue ‘repeat after me, my wet pussy needs your finger in it so you can make me cum’.

Doing as she was told; she responded her tone shaky ‘my wet pussy really needs your fingers so I can cum’.

You smile proudly at how well you taught her as you go to kiss her cheek ‘you are such a good girl; I am going to make sure that, that cunt of yours will be satisfied by my fingers’.

Moving her panties to the side, you dip your middle finger in between her cunt lips causing her to lean into you, her ass brushing against your pussy causing you to jolt forward due to the much-wanted friction as she rested her head on your shoulder. This movement allowing you to clearly see her puffy and glistening lips almost making your mouth water. You use you middle finger to spread around her slick that rested at her hole all around her labia, barely grazing her now stiffen clit, earning a low mewl from her as she tried to roll her hips against your hand. Not trying to stop her from her desperate attempts of getting some sort of relief, you continued to tease her, moving your finger to lazily play with her vaginal opening, you circle your finger around it occasionally, barely inserting your digit into her causing her pussy to flutter with anticipation pushing more of her juices down coating your finger.

Finally, you plunged two fingers into her, causing her to moan out of shock, luckily due to her high arousal state her pussy had relaxed enough to easily accommodate your fingers. You kept thrusting your fingers in and out of her wet cunt which filled the room with lewd noises sometimes inserting your fingers so deep into her that your knuckles would rest against her puffy lips, to push your fingers downward to stretch her so you could fit a third finger in. Every time you did that, her moans would louden while her pussy would clench around you, once you got the third finger in you decided it was time to focus on her g-spot by firmly brushing the pads of your fingers against the top wall, feeling her wetness drip down the palm of your hand.

Hearing a moan that was not Jo’s, you pull your eyes from where your fingers delved into Jo’s cunt to look at the only person in the room, Amber, to find that her hand was in her pants playing with herself at the sight of you fingering Jo.

Your voice was filled with lust as you ordered Amber to ‘come here and play with yourself on this couch, I don’t want you to feel left out’.

She followed your order, her eyes not moving away from Jo’s filled cunt, you looked at Amber, ‘before you sit down, let me get a taste’, as you moved your eyes to her shiny fingers.

Amber did as you asked, your tongue rolling around the two digits in your mouth causing her to moan, pulling back you flash her a lustful smile, ‘sluts always taste so good’, signally to her you were done for now, she sat down and continued to play with herself.

Using your spare hand that was used to hold Jo’s thigh in place, you begin to play with her clit, no teasing instead going straight to the point of wanting to make her cum, rubbing the bud up and down, left to right and round and round in circles. Your handy work causing Jo’s breathing to become erratic due to the overstimulation of her pussy being stretched open and her clit being played with.

While your hands were occupied with Jo, your mouth became occupied with Amber’s. The kiss was wet and heavy as Amber was constantly moaning into your mouth as the feeling of your lips on her and your tongue invading her mouth helped in conjuring dirty images of you. This pushing her over the edge, cumming around her fingers as she began heavily moaning into your mouth but not pulling away from the kiss.

Your core ached with need as you had two beautiful women around you lustfully moaning and as if Amber had noticed your neediness, she put her hand under your skirt only for you to hear her mutter into your mouth ‘no panties’. The rough pad of her finger began toying with your clit causing you to groan and thrust into her hand while you could feel the tension in your lower tummy slowly building. The roughness of her pad felt amazing as it helped to alleviate the hunger that formed from neglecting your desires.

Feeling Jo’s pussy clenching more and more frequently around your fingers, you knew she was close, so you fastened your pace on her clit so she could hurry up and get off and as you hoped she came violently, her hips jerking up while you could see her legs start to shake, her moans and sobs loud enough that the whole street what know what just took place. She went limp in your arms almost knocking Amber’s hand.

Feeling frustrated at Jo for almost making Amber stop, you move your lips to her ear and mutter harshly, ‘get off’, and she did, shakily getting up Jo moved to the other couch.

And Amber took the opportunity to warm the spot Jo had left empty, still keeping her fingers on your clit and mouth on yours she moved into your lap to straddle you. The vibrations of her moans in your mouth sent shock after shock straight down to your tummy almost breaking the dam that tried to stop your tension from reaching climax. In order to illustrate your need, you started grinding into her hand at a faster pace so she would go faster but she did not get it.

‘Finger me’.

‘Huh’.

‘Just do it’.

Slipping her two fingers into your wet cunt she started to stroke your g-spot, sending jolts to your clit making you eerily close to cumming however, to compensate for the lack of attention she was giving your clit you took it into your own hands. All the different sensations you were experiencing all over your body started to blend into one overwhelming explosive sensation causing your eyes to roll back to help hold onto this feeling for as long as possible, a habit that you always tended to do when you orgasmed.

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After regaining your strength and remembering the real reason you were here you turned to look at Amber who had moved to sit beside you, staring off in space while Jo was messing around with the remote, ‘where’s Ignacio ?’.

‘Last time I heard, he was in the study’.

Getting up you leave them to search for your man yet, something happened to your insides as you gave the girls one last glance at their state before you left them for Ignacio, nonetheless you choose to ignore it.

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thank you so much for reading this part and feedback is always welcomed !!!!!

and as always have an awesome saucesome day/night（づ￣3￣）づ╭❤～

resources: Directory of non-governmental organizations working in drug demand reduction, unodc.org, 1999 so it is quite old unfortunately but all continents are covered Drugs contacts, health.gov, 2019 Useful links, health.nsw, 2022 Organisations, drugpolicy.org

#breaking bad #brba #better call saul x reader #better call saul #smut #fanfic #angst #nacho varga x reader #ignacio varga x reader #the weeknd #michael mando #ignacio varga #nacho varga #bcs spoilers #amber x jo x reader #brbabcs #bcs

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allhappyandgay · 1 year

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it may just be the autism but am I the only one who doesn’t think it’s as selfless to lie to someone seemingly for their benefit at the cost of yr own feelings/wants as people say it is? obviously will wants mike and eleven to be happy (even though they actually don’t want to be together) and mike wants eleven to be happy, so they both lie in order to give the other what they think they want… only resulting in miscommunication misunderstanding and confusion, but being honest and open about what you want and how you feel with yr friends is more likely to bring you closer together and prevent such complicated situations like this in the first place! like yeah they have good reasons for why they lie (for tv show characters, anyway) but the amount of people saying will and mike are so selfless for ‘sacrificing their happiness’ for someone else’s (will for mike and mike for el) like… they’re freshmen in high school what do they plan on sacrificing their happiness for each other for the rest of their lives while they’re all actually miserable??? lol got a little off track there but I like what I wrote

(of course I say this as an emotionally unavailable chronic people pleaser with major rsd who’s always lied to his friends to protect himself and questions the authenticity of all of his relationship’s constantly ha ha ha what)

all i’m saying is Im aware of how selfish it can actually be to hide how you really feel from people, sometimes you think yr doing something nice when really you’re just trying to protect yourself from any kind of harm. not saying that’s what mike and will are doing but I don’t agree that it’s a selfless act exactly

and I know there’s multiple layers to the monologue, mike was trying to save el and tried to say anything that might help her in the moment. but he (imo) also felt rejected by will after encouraging his speech, and until that point (imo) he had accepted his feelings toward him and also had an idea will felt the same and he was planning on mutually breaking up with el. then he backtracked and told el he loved her, which, I don’t know what he expected to happen after that, that they’d live “happily” ever after? seems more like he felt he had to decide between el and will. el being that he’d hide his feelings forever and stay with her because will didn’t love him back, and choosing will meaning being honest (and happy) with himself, and breaking up with el (the right thing to do). so I think there was at least a hint of self preservation in that monologue. especially since he didn’t do anything about el mostly ignoring him after. he barely seemed to care!

(I also am not at all saying that being in the closet is selfish and that protecting yourself by not coming out is bad, Im saying that mike knowingly using el as a beard is wrong (if that is in fact what he was doing), he can be closeted and keep el out of it)

if mike just told will how he felt even though it’s fucking terrifying, will would know that he doesn’t actually love el and his feelings are reciprocated. then he would stop trying to fix el and mikes relationship and el could be happy as well because she would no longer be being lied to and she could finally be independent and find herself. maybe the way things got left in hawkins in s4 with smoke everywhere and the ground opening up and eleven being hurt by what was said was—as well as to show that mikes monologue didn’t work—a way of showing that what will and mike are doing is making things worse for not only themselves internally but the people around them? and that it isn’t such a selfless act but also a harmful one?

#I dunno I could be talking out of my ass lol #but this is coming from someone who has been in this exact situation #I have 0 life experience but sooo much juicy advice I don’t follow #byler analysis #byler #mikes monologue

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everybody-loves-purdy · 1 year

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So I just went through Starlight, and yeah, it's definitely a lot worse than I remember! And the thing is, Squirrelflight does judge Hawkfrost at least partially because of who his father was, but I feel like if he'd actually appeared pleasant and if Leafpaw hadn't distrusted him already, she probably wouldn't have thought badly of him in the first place, regardless of his heritage!

And then he goes on to accuse Firestar of the same thing and I just can't sympathize with him at this point. He goes on and on about wanting to be deputy and even seems to expect he'll be chosen (at some point, thinking that he's not deputy yet), but Firestar is still grieving for Graystripe and he hasn't even had an apprentice at this time, so he just comes off as naive at best and incredibly insensitive at worst, even if he never voices his ambitions aloud. The fact that other cats even bring up the possibility of him being deputy one day doesn't really make it any less annoying, either.

Yeah I feel that Squilf comparing Hawk to Tiger internally was

a) Prompted by Bramble bringing the idea up in the first place

b) Because he was acting really sus and power hungry and Leafpaw didn’t like him after seeing him take power. If someone has had a parent such as that and then you see that behaviour repeated in their offspring it’s hard not to draw comparisons. It’s not like she thought the same about Tawnypelt or Mothwing, despite Tawnypelt choosing to go to ShadowClan as well, because she knows Tawnypelt is a good person.

And like you say it’s not like she ever says it to his face and he just starts assuming that’s what she thinks and gets really angry at her, despite him also thinking about that.

And yeah now onto how he thinks of everyone else in this regard. He’s just so exhausting to me. Firestar hasn’t given him one single reason recently to think that he doesn’t trust him. There was the whole Fire and Tiger sign that was misinterpreted but that whole thing was explained to him and forgotten about 2 books ago, and it’s not like Bramble thinks about it in his internal monologue at all anyway so if it’s intended that this is a reason he thinks he isn’t trusted, it isn’t conveyed at all. If anything Firestar puts a lot of trust in him after the whole Fire and Tiger sign confusion is resolved.

The way Bramble’s internal monologue comes across to me it just seems he’s always trying to find a way to be the victim. Literally just after Tallstar says that he would make a good deputy he starts thinking to himself about how cats only see Tigerstar in him. When Firestar refuses to name a new deputy and therefore that accept Graystripe as dead, Bramble gets angry at him and think he doesn’t trust him!

It would be different if the books actually have Bramble a reason to think his clanmates don’t currently trust him, but there is none, no one says anything or treats him any differently, apart from praising him and automatically looking to him for leadership? Yeah Bramble, they really do all not like you and don’t trust you.

Like you say, I could sympathise with him more if he didn’t keep going on and on but it just doesn’t stop and there is very little reason to justify it.

He’s one of those characters with a great concept but poor execution imo

I’m sorry if this has come across at all ranty lol, it’s just rereading TNP is causing me to slowly lose my mind because of Brambleclaw in the second half of the arc.

#anonymous #Bramblestar

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homosexual-fanfiction · 1 year

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Hi Camp! :D

I just wanted to say thank you so much for posting The Negligible Self, I loved it so much! The ANGST and tension literally had me squeeing out loud, I was hooked. Omigosh I'm such a fan of these dorks. I was like, GET TOGETHER ALREADY DAMMIT.

Also, the way you write is so wonderful! The chapters went by so fast and I ended up staying up waaaay later than I should on a work night (the curse of "oh, one more chapter" attacked me). The entire story felt like so much love and care was put into it and was so so so well thought out.

AND REIGANS INTERNAL MONOLOGUING WAS SO WELL WRITTEN. I find Reigan to be a kinda hard character to write tbh but the way you wrote his thought process out and him refusing to come to terms with his feelings and even consider his emotions are requited with Serizawa is so accurate and so obnoxious to read (in a good way).

ALSO ALMI AAAAAA I REALLY LIKED HER WHHHHY!!! My heart! I adored her character and the complexities you added with her relationship with the guys. Her part of the story was so sad and I really became attached and started wondering how she was doing and if she was okay and aaaaa. I became attached to the sweet older lady character.

Literally some parts made me chuckle out loud too like with Dimple being well, himself.

Also, your notes on the chapters were really fun and made me smile too. I love the voice you use when writing your thoughts. (Literally laughed at Reigan pushing you down the stairs, your dorky laugh noises, stepping over Reigans body, etc.) It really helped lighten the mood. I actually looked forward to your notes alot too! I'll miss those.

The ending is so wonderful and I loved your story so much the the life you breathed into all the characters and their relationships.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your works, sorry I gushed so much and thanks for reading my word vomit ashdgbdhcj! Great job, I loved it so much and thank you again so much for writing and posting it! Please never stop writing! (well, unless you want to obvs but yeah you know what I mean.)

-☆Rosie

BAUUH! hello! thank YOU for reading & going out of your way to come leave me a message :) i'm so glad you enjoyed it, it was a blast to write!! i'm already missing it haha [facing very deliberately away from the epilogue wip]

i hope you got enough sleep in the end lol, and yeah i tried very hard to make reigen rationalize everything he was doing in his own infuriatingly reigen way. i've said this before so apologies if you've already heard it, but it's funny how such a huge plot point was reigen REFUSING to come clean about shit when i generally hate to read a fic that relies on miscommunication or just a lack of communication.

but like reigen is obnoxious and he really wouldn't believe serizawa liked him back even if it slapped him in the face (or held him and cared about him and put a flower behind his ear and tucked him into bed and brought him food and came back to his apartment again and again and again to make sure he was okay (reigen voice if they found out who i really was they'd reject me in an instant)) so i tried my best to play off of that in the most reigen way i could lol. very glad that didn't seem to annoy people out of reading

god aimi AHH aimi... i'm so glad you like her! my poor little lesbian lady, she was only doing what she could. wanted to have her cake and eat it too, but unfortunately... yeah

and aw i'm glad you liked my goofing in the notes too, most of that really was just the first thing that came to my mind lol. the stepping over reigens body one was planned a few days in advance tho, i could not pass up that opportunity. and dimple was so fun to write he does NOT miss a chance to take a shot and we love that about him. dimple our favorite little hater

thank you so much again, it really was a ride to get that all done start to finish and i'm very happy that people out there enjoyed/are enjoying the story :) and you don't need to apologize at all haha. i'll write for as long as i have the inspiration to <3

#askbox #THANK UUU #i'm not proofreading this so i hope it all makes sense lol

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virmillion · 2 years

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bitchin’

#lab bitches and moans #do///n.t re.bl/o.g #if i know u irl stop reading or pretend u didnt read any of what follows #anyway. my name is what it is right. like i picked it out myself and everything and i rather like it #but what REALLY gets my goat. acquires my cow. obtains my ostrich #is that its my discord tag too for convenience right? but some irl friends when i added them went oh its LAB RATS LOLOLOL #not helped by my discord pfp being remy lust ratatouille but i digress #but they always call me either [deadname] (this is fine i told them to do this) but as a joke theyll call me lab rats sometimes #which. is fine to a point. but its REALLY starting to grind my gears like no! NO!! that is NOT my fucking name!!! you know??#like literally i told you No Its Pronounced Like This the FIRST TIME you made that joke #its not funny anymore!!! it never was!! STOP MAKING FUN OF IT GDI #idk im thinkin about bringing it up when i see them next and doing a two bird one stone #of saying hey please call me lab or labhras (its on if they cant pronounce it thats what the nickname is for) and also stop calling me-#-lab rats because i dont like it #and they tend to be pretty cool about that shit like ive never ACTUALLY complained before now it just suddenly started pissing me off bc im-#in a ✨mood✨ recently but we’re working through it #god. unrelated i REALLY want to come out theres been so many brief pauses lately with just me and my mom at food or something where my #internal monologue is like. say it. just say it. whats stopping you from Yeah Lol Im Lookin At Menu Item Four and we move on #my toenails grow really slowly. i got them painted at the end of october for An Event and they havent even halfway grown out yet #its kinda silly but ive been telling myself that once theyve completely grown out (i dont pick at them and i dont have remover) ill come out #at this rate id come out like mid september maybe? which honestly kinda works timeline wise for what i’ll be doing then #also i have therapy again which is GREAT bc she confirmed my suspicions that chest pains might be related to That Gay Shit which is neat #she didnt say This Is The Case Period but she mentioned it as a possibility without my promptig which is always good #anyway so thats also going well im excited to have someone i can talk to about this stuff #buenas noches!! if u got this far hi i hope ur going well drink water and imagine a cow thank u

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delicrieux · 3 years

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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 13: ...O-OH?

it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno

author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.

No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.

The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”

Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”

Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.

There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.

“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too.

More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.

Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby.

Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, “Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.

“Hey, dude!”

“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air.

“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.

“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”

-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully.

“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.

“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”

“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”

“Of course, baby.” You purr.

There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...

“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.

“You know it!”

“Finally, someone that’s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”

“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”

“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”

“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.

its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me

ikr she looks ready to join the monastery

each day we stray closer to gods light???

Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.

The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”

“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.

“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby?

One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too.

Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”

Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”

“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”

“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”

“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.

“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.

“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”

“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”

corpse stop acting weird challenge

literally omg lmao

he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!

^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi

“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”

“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen.

Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.

“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.

“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”

You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.

With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.

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Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration.

The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.

worried about this dynamic

its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz

Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.

“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”

“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.

“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.

“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”

You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.

“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”

You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”

“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”

“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”

“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.

“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.

“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised.

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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.

You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.

Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.

Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.

“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”

People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.

“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.

flame him

corpse boutta be a corpse fr

beat his ass queen!!!!!

“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”

“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”

“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”

“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”

“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.

“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”

“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”

“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”

“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.

“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”

The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls. The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”

“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.

“It’s Y/n.”

“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly, “get my pretty name out of your mouth.”

There’s a pause full of tense silence.

Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”

“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”

“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.

“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.

“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.

“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.

You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.”

“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”

“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”

“No, wait-”

“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.

“Y/n, please-”

“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.

“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.

“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis.

“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”

“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”

Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.

20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”

Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.

Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!

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First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.

Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.

Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.

It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.

“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”

“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”

“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”

Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.

It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.

The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing.

“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”

“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”

“Maybe Momo?”

“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”

You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.

“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”

“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”

“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan.

“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.

Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.

now she notices

snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour

corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it

opening wattpad rn^

Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach.

“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”

Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno.

“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”

“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.

“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”

If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi.

why is that kinda hot tho omg

didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do

y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao

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You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.

“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.

“Hm?”

“Was talking to the roaches.”

“What are they saying?”

“That I should betray you.”

“...Better not.”

A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”

“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”

“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!

“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”

You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”

“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”

You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”

“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.

“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”

You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”

He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”

Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”

“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”

“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”

It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.

y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge

making fanart of this omg her face

its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!

^she cant, it lives there

“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”

“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”

“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.

Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.

“Baby, you know what to do.”

The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”

“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”

“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”

“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.

“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”

“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.

“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”

You’re silent for a moment.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.

A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”

“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.

The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.

Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.

“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”

“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”

“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”

“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”

“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”

yeah he would be lmao

mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n

rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels

As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fanfic #social media au #corpse husband imagine #myso #make you say oh #sykkuno x reader #if ya squint #imagine #imagines #reader #reader insert

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mercurytrinemoon · 3 years

Text

Another post on Moon signs you can drag me for

Before we get into the actual thing, I'd like to say this post initially started as something else but ultimately, what I tried to put across is, sometimes Moon signs aren’t that easy to decipher. It’s easy to grasp overall characteristics of the signs and then learn how to identify their specific traits. But what people seem to forget it that Moon represents the deepest side of us & our inner world - it’s uncommon to really see someone’s side of it unless you really pay attention. Sometimes I’m surprised to see what someone’s Moon sign is even if I know this person well. Meaning, people usually hide that part of them - or they just simply process it internally and others can’t see their emotional reactions. It’s also uncommon for folks these days to fully express their emotional needs so it gets even trickier to pin-point their Moon characteristics. I don't think I have to mention this but, of course, your entire chart should be taken into account, as well as house placement, aspects. Personally, I like to also look at Moon's dispositor.

Let’s start from my friends, Gemini Moons, who, I feel, get a bad rep for not showing their feelings and scanning every emotion like an AI. Nah-ah. I know this one Gemini Moon whose immediate emotional reactions aren’t very cerebral in the sense of processing everything in the mind and intellectualizing it aka, what people like to label as being un-emotional. Instead her reactions are often fast (air energy) but physically expressed through Mercury (Gemini Moon’s dispositor) and Sun (overall identity) – she has them both in Aries. She’s a crybaby who can burst into tears in a matter of seconds. So she’s not something that would stereotypically be assigned to a Gemini Moon. But what I did notice is that all Gemini Moons tend to have this weird look on their face when they’re processing stuff. As if they were about to have a brain malfunction; they stop and have that specific worried look. They also like to either gossip or tell stories (either real or made up lol); they’re great with words - they can talk for hours if they feel comfortable with you. They just crave interaction and mental stimulation. Their quick reactions tend to make them effortlessly witty. Even if they’re a withdrawn Gemini type, they make up for it through social media and technology or just a quiet exploration. My shy Cancer pal with Moon in Gemini is now a brand/website designer and an instagram queen who travels the world. This is great energy for content creators in general. And don’t forget that Geminis need to have their fingers in many pies. It’s because they always have a backup plan… and they get bored easily so they need that chaos around them to feel at home. They like to have options in everything, which is kind of funny cause it’s hard for them to make up their minds and actually choose something. And they store a lot of information in their brains… I feel like it must be exhausting, no?

On the other side of the axis, whenever I see someone with a Sagittarius Moon, I can immediately say “yup, a Sag Moon indeed” (probably thanks to my Sag stellium), meaning, they all seem the same to me. Sag Moons often find comfort in exploration - best if it’s literal travel. They always seem to need to free themselves from their surroundings, family, roots or their own culture to discover something new and exciting, even if it’s only in the imaginary words - through books, movies and other medias. Their happiness always lies somewhere else from where they currently are. Like, I think all Sagittarius Moons that I know have left their parents and went their own paths early on. And they have this yolo attitude. Just like Sagittarius Suns, they’re massive dorks, probably also obnoxious… sometimes in a REALLY annoying way. They’re either a) very wise and curious b) lil preachy and stuck up c) just plain dumb clowns with no filter. But they’re all funny. And they take things lightly, with a natural ease. This means sometimes they may offend other people just because they assume everyone’s as chill as they are; „relax! I was just kidding!” - that’s a phrase you’ll hear from them often… I mean, unless you’re a jokester yourself and you’re unmoved by their sarcastic or teasing words. They have somewhat spiritual or philosophical nature so besides making you laugh, be prepared for deep monologues. They want to believe everything will eventually fall into place. It’s also hard to bring them down - or I should say, it’s hard to make them acknowledge that they're feeling down - they always try to distract or cover it up with a joke, usually a self-depricating one. If Sagittarius Moon (or Sagittarius in general tbh) is telling you that they’re unhappy, then it’s serious.

I’ve noticed there comes a point in life for a Libra Moon where they just have enough. They’re too nice for everyone and one day they wake up and yell about how they have to do everything for everyone and everyone wants something from them and bLah bLah. Makes me think of when Bieber was this overly nice kid and then he was like “I’M NOT TAKING PICTURES WITH FANS ANYMOREEEE AAGhJFJFUWIUq”. Yup, a Libra Moon, everyone. They know how to charm and appeal to people, I think overall they’re easily liked by others. Sometimes it’s simply because they like to kiss people’s ass just to avoid being rejected. That’d be a Libra Moon’s nightmare. They like other people’s company too much. And they thrive in relationships and in a big circle of friends. What they hate is confrontations (like every other Libra placement omg). They may be good mediators when it comes to other people but if they’re involved in an argument they get sooooo passive aggressive. They just don’t know how to handle conflicts - it’s as if their nervous system wasn’t designed for emotional outbursts (because, you know, everything needs to be peaceful and harmonious Venus-style). A fussy or angry Libra Moon will suddenly get loud as they blame someone for something… and then they’ll leave the room cause they’re scared to even hear the other side of the argument. Or, alternatively, they’ll make a doormat out of themselves just to stay quiet and avoid causing any rift. And making decisions? I think it’s common for them to have two different romantic interests and feeling so dramatically torned between them *Alexa play Agony from Into the Woods*. Then when they decide, they have problems breaking the bad news to one of them.

On the other end we have Aries Moons. *deep breath* Listen, I think I’ve said enough about having Moon in Aries (or rather purely dissing it) but last time it made a bit of controversy so why not wreak even more havoc. I have a good description for this one: I will punch you but be gentle with me cause it’s easy to break my fragile heart. So basically, imagine putting Buttercup and Bubbles into one person. And honestly, I need to say this, women with this placement are just hot badasses, look at friggin Angelina Jolie. The queen of badass. The queen of hot. People say because Aries folks move quickly (literally and figuratively lol), they often get bored with whatever got them excited last week... or yesterday. Ha, yeah, right. You get their heart to open up and they’re going to have their eyes for you ONLY, like a lil puppy. Give us treats and we’ll build our world around you. But NOT in a clingy way by any means, we need our space and independence after all. My lil niece is an Aries Moon and ever since I started playing guitar with her, she became my #1 fan or something. That’s the energy. But we get easily bored with day-to-day stuff so yeah, there’s that. Innocent and clumsy yet raw in their emotions - so there’s potential to make mistakes sometimes (or a lot of times) or having this tunnel vision, like „I want this and I don’t care about anything else!”. And then excusing it with some „but the heart wants what it wants” crap (looking @ ya, Selena Gomez). They experience constant inner movement and turbulence that needs a physical outlet in order to feel satisfied. WE NEED PASSION IN OUR LIVES, OKAY?!?!?? now leave me alone

Aquarius Moons aren’t as cold as you might think. People like to describe them as if their Moons actually disappeared from their charts: dEtaCheD, uNeMotiOnaL, tHey fEeL nOtHinG. It’s just they don’t sit and dwell on things, they find solutions to the problems. If something doesn’t make them feel right, they just leave that situation. They do care about other people’s well-being, they’re very sensitive in that regard, they’re humanitarians after all. Yeah, they detach, but from their own emotions - in order to make sense of them. They may seem like snow queens sometimes (and this comes from an Aqua rising) but they’re really friendly and if you pique Aqua Moon’s interest, they’re going to be curious about you. They like new exciting things so if you’re cool enough, you have their attention. Usually they’re pretty progressive as well and can’t stand injustice. That’s why you’ll see them standing up for those who are in need. Uranian energy gives them a specific type of sharp intuition and wit. Idk they’re just cute in a quirky way. But this buzzing, fast energy is a great recipe for anxiety, over-thinking and frequent changes of heart. Similarly to Sadges, they need constant exploration and stimuli. Intelligent, people-oriented (but not people-pleasing! Look to Libras for that), individualistic. They definitely need their own space and independence. Their decision-making is fast and it’s easy for them to just say „screw it, I’m doing this”. My Aquarius Moon friend just casually decided that she’s moving to Turkey cause nothing in our city (or even country) seems interesting or helping her expand… So she was like, see ya suckers, I’m leaving.

Leo Moons shine from within. You’ll spot them from a mile away even if they’re on the shyer side. They’re all lil stars no matter their profession. Very expressive people & easily excitable. Art galleries, live shows, theater - they love a creative environment even if they don’t pursue that lifestyle themselves... One of my Leo Moon friends is an art junkie – suggest taking her to an obscure play at the local bar, a music festival, a weird museum – she’ll say yes in the blink of an eye. And she loves discussing these things. A Leo Moon may not see themselves as artistically inclined, but usually sooner or later they at least try dipping their toes in music, arts, acting, dancing... you name it. They’ll learn a simple 3-chord song on a ukulele and then play it to you in excitement. Imagine a lil kid making you a puff piece and being super proud of it. Sometimes they just need some encouragement. Remember, Leos feed off of praise, that’s their fuel. Doesn’t mean they’re all proud, egotistical people but what it does mean is that they need a lil assurance to gain their self-confidence. I lived with a Leo Sun/Moon for almost 15 years (who’s a musician btw so yeah, a classic creative Leo type) - he did have some issues lol but ego wasn’t one of them. Drama followed him everywhere but I’m pretty sure he disliked it himself. BUT, with that being said, I feel like Leo Moons tend to dramatize themselves internally. People say it’s something Virgos or Geminis would do - because of their tendency to overthink, but Leos can just go straight to a worst-case scenario in their heads simply because they exaggerate everything. So don’t be surprised to see a Leo Moon feeling down and anxious. On the bright side, be their cheerleader and they’ll give that to you in return. They need sparks and dullness kills their upbeat spirit. They need to feel their own heartbeat so the feeling of excitement is crucial for their well-being. Romantic, giving and kind. They’re fixed fire so once they’re set on something or someone, they give their all and are rather loyal.

I feel like my chart low-key tells me I should dislike Taurus Moons but I just want to melt in their arms and just stay there? Like, forever? Low maintenance but a bit slow-moving and stubborn. They won’t settle easily, at least not officially, so you need to have a lot of patience with them. They need 3 things to feel secure and at peace: physical stimuli, time and a stable place they know they can always come back to. And it’s not like all of them are total lazy homebodies, they may be active spirits & travellers but they are going to have a reallyyyyy nice cosy flat somewhere near their childhood place (gotta be be close to their moms, you know). Not necessary materialistic but they may have one thing that they collect throughout their entire life and they won’t. ever. get. rid. of. it. There needs to be at least one constant in their life - like you know when Elton John decided to go to therapy but one thing he stuck to was shopaholism? Very Taurus Moon of him. Also, they’re very affectionate. In fact, may have issues differentiating between affection and passion - this is actually something Taurus Moon and Aries Moon have in common. Pro tip - and this is in regard to all Taurus placements - don’t smell bad when you’re around them (I mean, don't smell bad in general, no one likes stinky people lol). They have a sensitive smell. Doesn’t help that they like to smell everything. EVERYTHING. I swear, Taurus, stop sticking your nose in every single thing!!! You don't need to know how that piece of utensil smells like. Jeez.

Scorpio Moon (shoutout to those who remember me accidentally calling them sporpio last time I made a post on Moons lol). I honestly don’t know what to tell you... I feel like all you hear about Scorpio Moon is 100% true, there’s nothing to debunk here. It’s the Moon of extremes. Prone to jealousy and surpressing emotions; severe trust issues; they’re instigators. I was low-key bullied by a few Scorpio Moons when I was in school so there’s that. Very secretive and private. Scorpio Moon will be like “I’m in control of the situation!!!!” and you’ll just look at them and think, yeah, right, looks like the situation is controlling you. But keep being in denial, sure. Like, don’t get me wrong, Scorpios in general can be TOTAL SWEETHEARTS OMG but ya’ll have issues. Even celebrities who have this placements... Think Beyonce or Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus... I feel like they have issues lol, especially with control and the need for everything to be perfectly the way they want it to be. To be fair, that’s probably why they’re all so influential and high status: it’s either their way or highway. They need constant reinvention; they’re the ones to wake up one day and decide they’re going through a spiritual awakening blah blah. They also like to talk about dark and shocking topics while having casual lunch with you... So like, be warned that you may end up with a depressed mood after talking to them for 10 minutes. And their mood swings... don’t even get me started on that.

I don't know where to start with Virgo Moons... I feel like they're very calculated and nit-picky but they're a lot warmer than Virgo Suns. I think I called them softies in my last Moon post. Very sweet people but prone to anxiety. You gotta experience seeing them having a heart attack over someone mixing bananas with milk or messing with their stuff that’s been put in a perfect arrangement. I saw a Virgo Moon once literally squealing shouting "YOU'RE GONNA RUIN YOUR LAPTOP WITH THAT SUPERGLUE!!!" Highly entertaining to watch, not gonna lie. Gordon Ramsay has his Moon in Virgo - it’s conjunct Uranus and Pluto so that’s an extreme but I think him being fed up with people over small inconsistencies in their food prep is a perfect example of this energy (btw his chart is hilarious, it literally explains EVERYTHING). They're VERY picky with their food as well, just as Virgo Suns tend to be. Like, they’ll only have a specific type of single origin coffee or they’ll be vegan or something. Self-critical over their work, which is a plus... except for when finishing a simple task takes them a few hours because they want to make it perfect. They take everything seriously. This of course doesn't mean they're total bores - on the contrary, Mercurial energy gives them witty approach and a talent for choosing the right words at the right time. Tho they can be a bit awkward or shy with it. Can be as bubbly as Gemini but the grounded earthy energy gives them more practical and almost nurturing nature - earth signs are providers after all and Virgo is the sign of service - helping others is like their second nature. I’ve noticed they often find comfort in devoting themselves to a choosen task - this is why if they pursue something, they’re really good at it. They’re also very likely to dissect their emotions.

I’m not a fan of water Moons in general but Pisces Moon is the best water Moon in my opinion. Maybe because I like Pisces overall. I think it’s like a tweaked Sagittarius Moon - just more internalized, withdrawn & gloomy. But unlike Sag, who has a tendency to be an adventurous optimist, Pisces likes to focus on the negatives instead. Obviously, they can be very upbeat, they’re Jupiter-ruled after all, but there’s somehing whiny about them lol. Just like Sadges, they dream big and have their standards put up sooo high but if there's not much active energy in their charts, they’re often too passive to actually fullfill any of that - or I should say, they’re stuck daydreaming about it, believing it’ll just magically manifest for them... OR they do everything with an apathetic approach. What I do like about them is that they’re funny. And really chill - sometimes to the point of coming off as confused or hazy. I feel like a lot of them would just love to sleep all day... or sit by the lake and just think about the world. Most of them are also compassionate folks - again, maybe a bit too much. Hey Pisces, you don’t have to take everything to heart, it’s okay. On the bright side, they have big imagination and the ability to disconnect and just create. I have a few Pisces Moons in the family: one’s that sleepy artistic type with grand visions, one is an asshole-ish but funny entrepreneur with a questionable work ethic and one is a witty IT guy who’s actually a workaholic and likes to shut in his own world of computers and numbers or whatever he does there... So there’s this factor of tunnel vision, escapism and, on the more negative side, being kinda iffy and almost addicted to the way they want things to be. Once they set their eyes on something it’s done deal…

My issue with Capricorn Moons is that they're often trying to be sooooo mature omg, like, loosen up a bit. It usually starts when they're in their later teens... They can be the most rebellious kid that likes to have fun and suddenly they'll be like "I'm too old for this ugh grow up" *judgmental stare*. My 18-year old niece once literally roasted my sister that she's in her 30s and still doesn't have her own place (well so do I so I guess she also indirectly roasted me as well???). And she was SO deadpan with it. Because she herself wants to be independent and start a family before turning 25. This is classic Capricorn Moon energy. They suck out joy out of everything lol. Of course, OF COURSE, it depends on the whole chart but I feel like worst-case scenario is that at one point in their life (or maybe even a few times throughout it) they go through a massive shake-up that makes them change their attitude and re-evaluate their structures. There's this multi-instrumentalist Yvette Young - she's a sweet, funny Cancer/Leo mix but her Moon is in Capricorn. She used to be a competitive pianist but the pressure that was put on her has led her to severe health issues. Like yes, she’s now an extremely talented musician - thanks to family’s expectations & a rigid schooling system (Saturn) but it did cost her a lot. She has recovered since then but I think it's a perfect example of this energy. It’s very ambitious and hardworking but emotionally demanding in the sense that you have to actually put your emotions aside in order to deal with the rest. Another thing, because Moon can be associated with family, there's often a weird dynamic surrounding this topic. I don't think I've met a Capricorn Moon that had a completely healthy and happy relationship with their fam or one of the family members. Or, alternatively, there can be a strong bond between one of them but usually created in the atmosphere of hardships.

Last but not least, Cancer Moons. I had three school friends with this placement and all of them made this sad, whiny face as they said „oh I don’t knoooow anymoreee” when they were feeling torned or frustrated. To be fair, two of them are water Suns so for them, it added to the mushyness. All Cancer Moons I know are family people or better yet, baby people. One of those school friends is now a guidance counsellor, working with kids; the other turned her instagram into a gallery of her own child after she gave birth. So much kid content, omg. There’s also something very indecisive about them… or I should say, hesitant. They’re not very fast at making decisions. Also, what’s interesting, they’re kind of like walking libraries, they remember a lot – so they store a lot of information in their brains just like air signs but they process it in a completely different way – emotional, obviously. I think this also makes them hold grudges a lot. For them it’s more of a question of „how does it make me feel?” rather than „how valid is it?”. There’s certain stubborness in them in that regard because they don’t keep their minds open. It’s also hard for them to walk away from people and situations, like a crab pinching you with its claws – it won’t let go. Sensitive but not easy to open up; very protective of themselves and their loved ones & they tend to shut down in their crab shells. But they may crave connection and the feeling of belonging. Also very caring and with a big imagination. They’re very receptive of their environment so mood swings are a thing for them.

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makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 328: Pandora’s Box of Discourse

Previously on BnHA: DEKU TOOK A BATH.

Today on BnHA:

youtube

Also Naomasa grew a beard. Goddamn.

please let this be a cool chapter that plays nice with my ADHD lol

(ETA: lol I feel guilty because a lot of people hated this chapter, but I’m just happy there was a lot of stuff to make fun of, and also that I have another week to work on my backlog of meta posts since the kids were MIA.)

around one month ago?? ah, okay, so we’re gonna find out what was in that Tartarus security file huh

I love that they just randomly set the place on fire

was it necessary to do this in order to escape? no. was it a good idea to set the island they were occupying on fire while they were in the midst of still occupying it? uh. was it cinematic as fuck? fuck yeah

wow it’s a pervert!!

that’s so great that the villains set loose this fine fellow who I’m sure is definitely not a serial rapist. truly the LoV is so noble and misunderstood. they’re just trying to free society from its chains people

oh my god??!

SHANKED!!! oh my god I cheered for Stain before I realized what I was doing. time to have an identity crisis I guess

so he’s all “hey what’s going on.” which, while a respectable question, is something I personally would have waited to ask until I had put a bit of distance between myself and the fiery murder island. but that’s just my personal preference

Stain you really are tenacious I’ll give you that

“what’s the point of escaping prison if you’re not gonna be smart about it” well shit. anyways yeah you’re dead right, society is in the process of collapsing and the outside world is in total chaos, good call there

oh shit

I mean it’s not like we really expecting anything otherwise, but still. fucking brutal. I feel like these guys’ fates were decided the minute that one guy called AFO “scum” back in chapter 94. AFO is unmatched at getting long-term revenge

ahh, was it the security footage??

fdsdfk he’s still alive??

and he’s immediately launching into an inappropriately theatrical monologue even as the darkness closes in on him fdlfksjdlk. you know, was it ever confirmed that the other guy back in chapter 297 was Seiji’s dad? I’m just saying

very impressed that he’s still coherent enough to weigh the pros and cons before making the decision to gamble on giving this info to Stain, who at the very least has his own moral code and isn’t allied with AFO. it was definitely still a risk, but as we now know it was also the right call

what a weird alliance. so Stain tells him that he’ll give it to a just person, and the guy is all,

okay for real though I’m gonna need someone to run a DNA test on this guy. maybe it was some kind of cuckold situation?? the other guy had the family resemblance, but this guy absolutely 100% raised Shishikura Seiji and you are not going to convince me otherwise

anyway, so Stain is all,

PRISON GUARD: “???? ??????? what the hell. what the fuck does that fucking mean. I’m dying here, jesus christ, whatever man fuck you”

(ETA: I kind of feel like this might have been Stain’s last appearance in the manga, given all the fanfare. there’s not really much else he can do for the story at this point, and he seems to have gotten all the character development Horikoshi was planning on giving him. so if this really is it, hasta la vista and good riddance I guess.)

DWLFDKSLDK MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE

(ETA: I feel like this is meant to be evocative of that Sermon on the Mount painting, but in a really fucked up way lol.)

if it were me stumbling upon this scene I would just shake my head and walk right back into the flaming building. not getting involved in that mess. sorry not sorry. I’ll take my chances with the fire, especially given that it’s half-assed neutered BnHA fire lol

blah blah blah and so he decided to pass the info on to All Might -- HOT DAMN, HOLY SHIT

NAOMASA HOLY SHIT. THE APOCALYPSE LOOKS GOOD ON YOU, BOY

“I really like that facial scruff thing Aizawa’s got going on, I think I’m gonna get in on that” yes sir. “also thinking of ditching the tie in favor of the bulletproof vest look. also thinking of getting totally fucking jacked.” good lord. except I’m pretty sure that’s just body armor, but also I don’t care. anyway I should probably stop staring and actually read the fucking speech bubbles here lol

“All Might first handed this information over to Nao, and then went to see Deku, and then came back to Nao” thanks for that tidy little summary Horikoshi. we are capable of piecing events together in sequential order, I just want you to know that. but thank you

“so has Deku finally gotten a bath? also, sucks that Stain saved the day, but what are you gonna do” Nao I missed you so fucking much and didn’t even realize. how am I just now realizing that you are the perfect man

for a second I was gonna ask why Tartarus’s security systems would be cut off from the outside world, and then I remembered that’s a basic security control, and then I actually got impressed by how sensible that is. like, it’s been a while since I could genuinely say that the good guys (excluding class 1-A) did something smart. not that it helped them much in the end, but still

anyway so they’re talking about how AFO was able to coordinate the attack by communicating between his horcrux self on the outside and his ugly peanut-faced self on the inside

huh

okay you have my attention. I am taking notes here lol please continue

ah okay so he says that prior to Jakku, the transfer of information between him and his Vestige self was only one-way. but post-Jakku when Deku was in the hospital, he was able to tell what was happening inside the OFA Radical Lisa Frank Dead People Book Club Realm when he touched him. I feel like we established that before, actually. but he didn’t talk about how it actually felt, though

boy we already know this lol. yes AFO can talk with his horcrux self. and he can also communicate with his little bro in OFA too, let’s talk about that sometime why don’t we. what exactly does that imply, based on the rules we’ve established here

my god I cannot get over Naomasa and his fucking facial hair

no wonder All Might was in such a hurry to leave Deku and get back here

like I have no idea what this radio waves nonsense is but my god, people

that jawline. also so it’s a quirk, I see. except last I checked Deku didn’t have a radio waves quirk, so that doesn’t really explain his connection to AFO. but whatever, hopefully we’re at least getting closer to some kind of reveal here

(ETA: since I sometimes forget that other people’s lives don’t revolve around my theory posts, here are the two relevant links if you by chance want to know my thoughts about this.

Hagakure is still The U.A. Traitor™ regardless of whether Deku is passing information on to AFO through his psychic link, which he almost certainly is.

speaking of said psychic link, Deku is a horcrux.

just posting these now, because whenever trippy OFA stuff happens I tend to get an influx of theory asks. so hopefully this will be a bit of a time saver lol.)

-- wait, what

THAT’S what the recording was??!? holy SHIT. I genuinely was not expecting that. y’all wiretapped his fucking telepathy. fucking quirks, man. wild

AND THEY USED THAT POWER TO DETERMINE WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW, HUZZAH. GOOD SHOW

-- oh shit wait lol, except I forgot we’re not talking about 38 days from the present, we’re talking about 38 days from the date the conversation was recorded. heh. um

yeah that’s the face I would make too if All Fucking Might just casually told me we had eight days left until the end times

oh, pardon me. three fucking days

r.i.p. anyone who thought we were going to have another band arc sob. I sure hope Deku is enjoying that nap

(ETA: I realize people were hoping for a longer rest period here, but given that the man warned us all the way back in chapter 306 that we were entering the final act, you can’t really blame him too much when that turns out to be true. anyway but I do recognize that we’ve reached the point in the story where this kind of discourse is going to become a weekly occurrence, simply because there’s no possible way for Horikoshi’s actual endgame to line up perfectly with the variable headcanons of millions of fans, all of whom have wildly differing and in many cases contradictory expectations which can’t possibly all be fulfilled. anyway, so I’m already bracing myself for that lol. this coming year is going to be a wild ride.)

damn, U.A. out here looking like the motherfucking United Nations

-- is this U.A.?? I actually just realized, U.A. is four interconnected buildings, not two. wait holy shit is this Shiketsu?

wait holy SHIT

based on the overwhelmingly powerful vibes of bureaucratic incompetence, I’m thinking this really is the (future) U.N., or whatever organization it is that deals with international hero stuff

“just let them handle it themselves I’m sure they’ll be fine” yeah okay, thanks guys. appreciate it

wait oh shit did he say that it’s not just Japan?

soooo, what you’re telling me is that AFO is this close to bringing about the end of not just Japan, but the entire world, and you guys don’t think it’s a good idea to help the Japanese heroes stop him? so, genuine follow-up question: are you guys already planning your rich people exodus into space a la Wall-E, and that’s why you don’t give a fuck?? like, what??

omg international heroes

these guys are from World Hoodie Mission, right? is this Horikoshi’s way of reminding me to buy tickets

(ETA: and it worked too lol.)

WHO??? WHAT???

don’t tell me you’re introducing yet another badass new female character for me to fall in love with only to watch as you dismember them and/or blow them up, Horikoshi. I’m getting tired of playing this game my dude. don’t lie and tell me this time will be different. we’re not doing this again goddammit

noooooooooooooooooooo

god fucking dammit lmao. [sighs and rips the previous paragraph into shreds]

on behalf of Americans I apologize for our superheroes always being Like This

I also apologize because I love her already and I’m gonna be shameless about it. so fucking shameless you guys

is her fucking hair red white and blue. it is, isn’t it

this is the volume cliffhanger, 100% lol. it will take every ounce of Horikoshi’s willpower not to put her on the volume cover. he’ll have to settle for the spine or the inner cover this time because Deku VS his class 1-a superpals takes precedence. but it will be a close thing let me tell you

tbh it’s that smile that does it for me. she’s definitely All Might’s protege. get out there and show them how it’s done girl. and maybe call Salaam and BRD and see if you can’t convince them to play hooky from their governments as well. why not. world’s ending in three days you guys. “sorry, I’m busy this weekend” ain’t gonna cut it lol

so while I am not fully caught up with Vigilantes, I have read far enough to know that there’s an American hero named Captain Celebrity whose superpower from what I recall is being a humongous douchebag. and while I haven’t read far enough to know what happens to this guy, I can’t say I’m very disappointed to learn that he’s no longer the number one hero in the U.S. (actually, didn’t they kick him out and that’s why he moved to Japan to begin with?). anyway, so my thanks to Horikoshi for having a marginally higher opinion of Americans than Furuhashi, even though we have definitely not done anything to warrant said opinion lately, and you may have inadvertently opened the door to a pandora’s box of discourse lmao

(ETA: lol I went into the tags and they don’t disappoint. “why is she dressed like a flag” because she’s an homage to Captain America and Major Victory and literally every other character on this list. again, I apologize for fictional American superheroes being Like This. “oh boy another thicc waifu to make the fanboys happy” look, tumblr fandom never seems to have a problem thirsting over Dabi or Tomura or Aizawa or Nao, lol, I’m just saying. “where is Captain Celebrity” idk, probably murdered by the exploding bee cartel, let’s just be grateful for our good fortune and try not to Beetlejuice the man.)

anyway, so let’s see if Horikoshi’s recent character development with regards to making Mineta not terrible anymore will apply to other aspects of his writing as well. I know I was making light of discourse just now, but I do think the complaints about him introducing yet another new character at the 11th hour to be cannon fodder in the final battle are absolutely valid. and again, it wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t keep maiming/killing off his female characters one by one instead of developing them and letting them kick ass long-term. but that said, I will never complain about Horikoshi adding another female character to the series, regardless of how clumsy the attempt may be. go ahead and pander away, just give us more girl power lol

anyway so we’ll see how it goes, but I think I’m gonna be optimistic and let myself hope once again, even though I’m probably gonna regret it lol. it is what it is. she is standing on an airplane just chilling for fuck’s sake. I’m only human. anyway fingers crossed

#bnha 328 #stain (bnha)#tsukauchi naomasa #all might #stars and stripes (bnha)#all for one #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #eta: how did I forget to type 'bnha' in the title sob

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babbushka · 3 years

Note

hey sweetie! Happy new year! yayyy im so excited for the new writings coming up! i've got a request that i think it will be pretty funny with biker kylo! ''its a fancy dress new years party, and person a is shook seeing peson b all dressed up for once''. i feel like they wouldnt go to a party with a lot of people but maybe she could ask him to dress nice? just for the two of them? like a date? smutty-ish? pretty please?

A/N: Hello my dear! Thank you so much for this request, I think it's so sweet and though it started out funny it turned sappy, lol. I hope you enjoy the little ficlet I've come up with. Wishing you a very sweet new year!!

1.2k, warnings for descriptions of food, mostly fluff!

You had said to get there at sundown, and to dress nicely. Kylo didn’t know what the fuck that meant, dress nicely. He spends most of his days in stained and torn t-shirts and faded black jeans, what was nice? He couldn’t ride his bike in nice clothes, he’d burn the shit out of his legs right through any trousers he might have stored in the back of his closet -- all of this internal monologuing is why he’s late.

He’s not that late, not really, the sun only went down twenty minutes ago, but Kylo had had damn near a nervous fucking breakdown throwing his clothes everywhere, trying to figure out what he could wear that would be nice.

It’s the first Rosh Hashanah that you’re spending together, and he doesn’t want to blow it. You’re the woman he would take home to Ma, if he still spoke to his mother, he doesn’t want you to think he ain’t serious about this relationship that you’ve built together. He is serious, and that’s why he’s late.

He’s late, but he thinks he looks nice. He’s praying that he does, anyway.

To try and soothe some of your potential anger, he stops by the florist on his way to your apartment and picks up a big bouquet of your favorite flowers, and tries not to crush them on the drive over. Parking his motorcycle in the dedicated spot, he climbs the four story walk-up, and runs his free hand through his hair, before ringing your doorbell.

Not even a full second goes by, before you’re yanking the door open, and Kylo is about to brace himself for being yelled at, but when he sees your big grin, he lets out a sigh of relief.

“You made it!” Throwing your arms around his huge frame, you hug him tightly. If Kylo had been a smaller man, he would have been knocked backwards from the force of your embrace.

“Of course I made it, why the hell wouldn’t I? You told me to be here, so I’m here.” Kylo hugs you back, holds you tight and walks you backwards into your apartment enough that he can shut the door behind you.

Kylo doesn’t spend a lot of time at your apartment. It’s not because he doesn’t want to or anything, it’s just a little further out of his way than his own place. You both work close together, and his apartment is closer to work, so it always tends to just be the meeting place.

He likes your apartment though, it’s nice, cozy. It’s very you, which sounds stupid, but is something that always makes Kylo feel at ease. He likes the way you decorate, the way you so clearly have put your touch on everything -- it’s so different from his own approach that he has half a mind to be embarrassed. Maybe he should give you his keys and let you make that damn apartment feel more like a home, but then that would mean you’d never be allowed to leave.

“I thought maybe you couldn’t get the time off work.” You grin at him when he finally releases you.

“I’m my own boss, sweets, I make the schedule.” Lighting up a cigarette and puffing on it for a few seconds, Kylo winks at you, “Whole shop’s closed for the holidays.”

Crossing your arms in front of your chest and cocking your hip, you look him up and down, licking your lips and smirking, “That’s very impressive, you know Just like your outfit. I didn’t know you owned a suit.”

Kylo gives a sarcastic little spin on the heel of his boot, showing off the black ensemble that he had managed to dig out of his closet. It was just a jacket and trousers, with a tie that he had actually tied himself, not one of those bullshit clip ons. He’s got a white button down underneath, and he’s grateful for the way his hair covers the tips of his ears because you can’t stop lookin’ at him.

“Just the one.” Kylo blushes despite himself, still not used to the pleased scrutiny you often subject him to, he mutters, “Surprised it still fuckin’ fits.”

“It’s a little tight.” You whisper playfully, pinching at the shoulder seam where the fabric is struggling to contain him. He only huffs out a laugh, a big plume of smoke going with it.

“Alright alright. Where am I takin’ you?” He offers you the flowers, which you happily accept.

“Nowhere, come in.” Throwing the invitation over your shoulder, you walk into the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers.

Confused, Kylo frowns and follows you like the duckling he is, “What do you mean nowhere -- oh.”

In the formal dining room, Kylo is confronted with a long table completely covered in food. There’s so much food that he actually can’t see the tablecloth underneath all the serving platters -- gefilte fish, potato latkes, matzo ball soup, fennel and apple salad, roasted cauliflower and pomegranates, kugel, the biggest fucking brisket that Kylo has ever seen, and of course, an even bigger round braided challah taking center stage.

“Do you like it?” Nervously, you look at him from the kitchen, and Kylo snaps out of his reverie to make his way to you.

“Goddamn you are divine.” Kylo picks you up, kisses you all over your neck and cheeks, “It smells fuckin’ delicious, this can’t be all for me. It’s way too fuckin’ nice for me.”

He doesn’t put you down yet, not yet, wanting to keep you in his tattooed arms forever and ever.

“Now you know why I told you to wear the suit.” You laugh, feeling silly that it’s just the two of you, but, “It’s a special occasion, I wanted to do it up right.”

“You did good, sweets.” Kylo nods, trying not to get too emotional. “Come sit real close to me and tell me all about it.”

The last time he had a big spread like this for a holiday was...damn, he can’t actually remember. When he was a kid, before he fucked off and ran away from home at fifteen. No one’s cooked for him in general in just as long, probably.

Kylo takes his suit jacket off because it really is too tight around the shoulders, and sits down at the head of the table, pulling you directly onto his lap, your pretty self snuggling right up against him even though there’s a perfectly good chair next to him. Kylo starts kissing your neck again, making you squirm and laugh from the way his teeth scrapes against your skin, but then Kylo pulls away abruptly.

“Wait -- there ain’t any fuckin’ fish heads, are there?” He asks, surveying the table for the traditional dish.

“No, those always creep me out.” You scrunch up your nose, and Kylo lets out a sigh of relief.

“Me too, I don’t like shit that’s still got its eyeballs in it.” He shudders dramatically, “Makes me feel bad.”

“I know what you mean, but rest assured this dinner is head-free.” You pat his cheek lovingly.

Kylo catches the hand and pulls it to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss to your palm.

“Well... maybe for dessert?” He looks at you expectantly, and it takes you a second to pick up what he’s saying, but when you do, you roll your eyes and groan.

“You’re so annoying.” You say, really meaning I love you.

“Yeah.” He replies with a toothy grin, really replying I love you more.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging some Kylo lovin' friends!

@mochabucky @sacklerscumrag @artsymaddie @bitchydecisions @direnightshade @thembohux @kylorenswhxre @sunflowersinthesnow @babayagakeanu @safarigirlsp @steeevienicks @materialisthicc @hswritingrecs @rosi3ba3z @chapterhappygirl @schopenhauerdeathsquad @loverofallthings @groovetoob @bxnnywriting @angel-bxby3 @smallgirlbigpersonality @lovelyyy-luna @2000andwhat @raddo1975 @cornmousequeen @metsienmenninkainen @caillea @painttheskylineforme @holding-on-to-starwars @caitlin-was-here @icarusinthesea @princessflip @goddessofsprings @mrs-gucci @baubub @bucky-j-barnes @mindyoshiii @beachwoodmonet @darkhairedmenrule @eagerforhoney @nekonaomitard @einmal-im-traum @justlenastuff @0nihiime @ohsolonelyghosts

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren/reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren/you #kylo ren imagine #biker au #biker!kylo #adam driver fanfic #adcu #rosh hashanah

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whumpmatsus · 2 years

Note

Hi hi !! So I know you just finished season 2 and I'm glad you loved it!! I have a whump idea I wanted to share with you regarding Totoko's and Oso's talk (the "Am I still Osomatsu?) When I first watched that episode, Totoko's "Oh Osomatsu you'll NEVER be a decent human being" really fucking STUNG and I was like," What a horrible thing to say to someone who obviously wants to try to change."

I was thinking of maybe Oso's inner monologue after her words. Obviously in the anime he just brushed off like "lol you're right" but I headcanon/theorize that he took that shit deeper. he vented out his frustrations to someone, only for them to say," Well youll2 always be a shitty person so :/" It's hard to see him sit there and be like "Yeah, I guess so." And that's it for the conversation.

Obviously you can take your time with this, i know you have quite the backlog rn!! This is just something I wanted to talk about and thought it be a perfect whump idea!!

*cracks knuckles* boi this has been a LONG time coming and it’s a bit on the short side but it’s finally done!!!

super side note but honestly, I think a big part of that talk was Totoko trying to make him feel ‘normal’, trying to make him feel like Osomatsu again, but... I also think that was the wrong way to do it, you know? she did tell him he could decide things for himself and basically decide that he’s still Osomatsu, but there were better ways for that to be done

like I think it’s so fucking sad to see someone who’s trying so hard to change and be the best version of themself they can be, and who’s obviously in a lot of emotional pain and tell them they’re never gonna be a good person, like I believe she meant well but didn’t account for the fact that her trying to make him feel normal means making him feel like the way things used to be, meaning that he’d just get more stuck in wanting everything to go back to how it used to be, instead of trying to figure how to make sure his relationships with his brothers would mature while still carrying the same love they always did

I also think, maybe it wasn’t the right thing for him to respond with, but Osomatsu is the oldest of SIX, he’s used to shoving his feelings down to make sure he’s not an emotional burden on his brothers. he’ll whine and bitch and moan when it’s little things, but if he’s really distressed and hurting, he puts on a happy face and pretends he’s fine, so his little brothers don’t worry about him

and I think he’s used to doing that with other people too, especially Totoko, he knew the response she wanted so he gave it to her, so that she wouldn’t feel like she hadn’t helped or she wouldn’t get upset, because at least if he does that, there won’t be two upset people now

but at the same time, there is no way my boy didn’t internalize that shit, he just feels like he can’t let anyone know how bad he’s hurting and how heavy he feels right now

ANYWAY ENOUGH OF ME BABBLING, HERE’S SOME SAD OSO FOR YOU, AND HONESTLY I VERY MUCH RELATE TO SOME OF HIS FEELINGS AND SHIT SO I JUST WANNA GIVE HIM A HUG AND A KISS AND TELL HIM IT’S OK AND THAT HE’S NOT A BAD PERSON <3

It’s started to rain again.

Totoko walked Osomatsu home after the downpour stopped the first time, but now he finds himself out here again, farther from the center of the city. There’s a bench and a lamppost and not a whole lot of anything else.

There are no other people around right now, and honestly, that’s the way he thinks he prefers it at the moment.

Part of him doesn’t know why he’s out here. The other part of him knows exactly why.

At least the weather matches his current mood. The best thing about this is that finally, finally he’s feeling something again, even if it’s sad or upset or however the hell he’s feeling. Even though he thought he was happy in the beginning, with his new job and sense of pride in trying to take care of his family, it’s eroded over the last few weeks.

Up until now, he started to feel empty. Lonely. Like he wasn’t anything anymore because he was beginning to be his own person.

Dwelling on it all now, he thinks maybe that scared him, so his brain flipped some kind of switch to shut off all his feelings, including the fear.

Of course, that’s not all he’s dwelling on. As much as some of Totoko’s words helped, her telling him that he could decide things for himself and joking around to make him feel almost normal again, some of them stuck in his mind in a less positive way.

“Oh, Osomatsu, you’ll never be a decent human being!”

He doesn’t know if she was saying that to tease him or make him laugh. Did she mean it for real? Is that what she actually thinks?

He remembers there was a pause after that. A long, drawn-out quiet where neither of them said anything. Time between them froze and it could have so easily shattered in the icy after-rain.

She could have spoken up during that pause, he thinks. If she didn’t mean it, if she was just trying to get a smile out of him, she could have quickly apologized. Done a backpedal and, “Fuck, I’m sorry, that was a dumb joke” or something.

If it was just that she misspoke ― because he gets it, sometimes shit gets mixed up in your brain and you accidentally string together words that weren’t supposed to go together ― she could have said that it came out wrong. There would have been some clarification of what she actually meant; some bullshit about how a job isn’t what makes someone a decent person or even proper. Is that what she meant? He could see that making more sense.

Or maybe it’s just Totoko’s way of saying that he’ll always be Osomatsu no matter what. He’s known her since they were kids, for God’s sake, and she’s always been a little mean, a little manipulative, a little harsh, but… she was never the type to kick him while he’s already down.

He doesn’t even know anymore. Everything’s changing, so maybe she’s changing too? It feels like nothing is the same as it used to be. Not him, not her, not any of his brothers or even his parents or even this fucking town.

Things have changed for him, at least. It feels like the whole world is collapsing in slow-motion around him, so how can anything still be the same at all? Is it really just him?

He sits down on the bench, fishing in his pockets for the handkerchief Totoko gave him earlier. He doesn’t even really know why he kept it, other than that he mopped up his tears with it under the guise of wiping rainwater off his face, and she didn’t ask for it back. It makes him feel a little less jittery to play with it in his hands.

The rain now is heavier than it was earlier. It’s soaking into his hair and clothes, dripping off him like he’s just another fixture on the sidewalk. He’s getting drenched, he’s probably gonna end up with a crappy cold, and he doesn’t even really care.

Does he care about anything anymore…?

… Seriously, Osomatsu, back it up here. Do you care about anything? You’re sitting out in the rain, freezing your balls off. You’re gonna catch a cold. Do you care that you might have to call out sick from work? Do you care that you’re gonna be stuck in bed for a week, coughing and sneezing your brains out? What if you manage to spend five minutes with one of your brothers, and you get them sick too? Would you care about that? Huh? You care about the possibility of getting your baby brothers sick?

Fuck, man. You Goddamn asshole. Is there anything you do care about?

Do you care about Mom and Dad? Mom who’s been running herself ragged cooking and taking care of Dad, who just got out of the hospital a couple months ago because he’s been working too hard?

You care about all that? You care about them? You cared enough to finally get off your ass and get a job, right?

Why didn’t you care before now? Before you were scared that Dad was gonna die? You didn’t care enough to get a job or help around the house or even go to school. All you ever did was sit around the house eating and drinking and pissing your allowance away on pachinko. Before now it wasn’t even your money, it wasn’t your brothers’, it was all whatever Mom and Dad gave you.

You’ve been out of high school for like eight years now, and you didn’t have a job till like three months ago. What changed, huh? Why didn’t you ever do any of this shit before? How come you didn’t care enough then? You know why.

Because you’re a selfish, lazy piece of shit. If you cared at all about anyone other than yourself before now, you did a bad job of showing it.

What kind of shitty big brother and eldest son are you?

Come on. Totoko wasn’t joking. She didn’t pick the wrong words.

All she did was say what everyone else already knows.

You’re never going to be a good person.

He twists the handkerchief in his hands, and hurries to bring it up to his face. There’s no one around, but he feels like he has to hide it anyway. Rub away all the tears, like they were never even there.

Because Matsuno Osomatsu doesn’t cry. He doesn’t have real feelings. He doesn’t care about anything except himself. He doesn’t feel sad or lonely or guilty.

This is just another example, isn’t it? He wants more than anything to see Ichimatsu for more than a couple minutes before he goes back to sleep because he has to work at night, or to hug Choromatsu for more than however long it takes to dry off at the bathhouse because they happened to go on the same night, or to talk to Jyushimatsu instead of staring at him while Osomatsu tries to drift off to sleep because his little brother crashes as soon as he gets home.

And he can’t, and he can’t even really think about asking any of them when they’re free, because that’s so selfish. Missing them is selfish. Whatever free time they have, it’s theirs. They’re all content like this. If they weren’t, one of them would have complained by now.

Karamatsu and Totty are the most sociable of them all, both of them desperate for attention. If they aren’t craving time with their brothers, everyone else must be happy.

It’s just Osomatsu who’s being an egomaniac, wanting everything to be like it used to. Even though he didn’t think it was that bad at first, he supposes it was inevitable.

He was happy with his job. He was happy to be contributing to society in some small way, happy to get paid and grab a beer and some food after work and enjoy the sunset even if it had to be by himself.

His job is still great. A beer and some food is still great. Even the sunset is still great.

It’s the ‘by himself’ part he can’t take anymore.

And there’s the problem. He can’t take that his brothers have their own lives, so cruel that he wants to rip them from their new jobs and friends and hobbies and hold them close to him again. Just so he won’t be alone.

He curls up tighter, throwing his arms around himself. It’s not the same. He wants his little brothers to hug him, and to hug them back, and kiss them on the cheek, and stroke their hair and sing to them when they can’t sleep, and argue with them about who stole something at breakfast, and playfully shove each other as they fight for the TV remote, and just sit there in each other’s company without having to say anything. He wants to have brothers again.

All this effort he’s put into trying to do the right thing, trying to be responsible and proper… has it really all been for nothing? Is he still the same horrible, lazy, selfish person he always has been despite trying so hard not to be?

If nothing has really changed, why is everything so different?

If I’m never going to be a good person no matter what I do…

― Then what the fuck is the point?

He sees cherry blossoms washed into the puddles on the street, helpless and dirty and ruined. Once so beautiful and full of life, still kind of recognizable, torn to hell by the pressure as they float, ready to be drowned, maybe hoping they still have a chance.

But it doesn’t stop raining.

And he still doesn’t feel like Osomatsu.

#Osomatsu san #whump #angst #Osomatsu #emotional whump #dissociation #loneliness #excuse me while I go SOB IN THE FUCKING CORNER #I AWAIT YOUR TEARS

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im-frickin-trying-okay · 3 years

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Random BNHA Headcanons

(This is my first time doing this 😭)

Summary: A bunch of random BNHA headcanons. So, basically the title. The only reason I’m adding a read more is because I want it to be easier to navigate my page, lol

Bakugo is oddly nice when he first wakes up, but he's not exactly a morning person. He's less "I hate the world, why am I awake???" And more like "I'm extremely comfortable and the only thing that can ruin my mood is becoming less comfortable." He likes hovering between awake and asleep, y'know? Which is why if he's sleepy, his guard drops. When leaving the dorms, if he hasn't fully woken up, he goes from "outta my way, shitty-hair," to "mornin' Eijirou," and by the time he's actually aware of what he said, Kiri's already freaking out. If he's in bed all day for any reason other than being sick, he's probably soft for at least a few hours.

Kaminari's the type to wake up at 2 AM with an idea, go to jot it down, and then realize that he wrote a ten chapter book and now he's late for class. He'll probably put it into a google doc or something, so he can continue to add onto it throughout the day. I also feel like he probably will also randomly get a question and then spend hours researching it and any surrounding topics, before rambling to Kiri about "bro, if I went to the beach, I could make a bunch of glass! Probably! Maybe!" And then have to try and convince his friends that he can just make windows if anyone needs them.

Sero had added moves to his skill set, and practiced particular actions, with the sole intention of mimicking Spiderman. When Kirishima questions him on it, he compares Spiderman to Crimson Riot. They have a conversation that's essentially fanboying, both of them saying "we are not bringing All Might into this," and then more fanboying.

Jirou has an extremely eclectic music taste. If you can name a song, she probably knows it. She can memorize full melodies and all the lyrics within two or three listens, because she's just that good. Some people call her the human Shazam, because if you play the first five seconds of a song she likes, she'll immediately know what it is. She's also called out artists if they made a clear rip-off of a much better song. Her music taste is all over the place, which therefore makes it superior. However. This does not stop her from listening to the same six songs on repeat for a week. The six change a lot, though.

Koda has trouble with bugs, especially big ones. They scare him. But he has pretty much no issues with tigers, lions, horses, or even wolves. He loves animals, he really does. If you just showed up at his doorstep and shoved a bear cub in his arms, he wouldn't really question it, because he'd be happy to have a cute animal to play with.

Todoroki believes himself to be the opposite of moody. His definition of moody is switching emotions for no reason. He, personally, doesn't feel any emotion until something happens that day, be it a thought or an event, and his emotions stay fixed like that until something else happens. He could be having a great day, and then suddenly, it's a horrible day, and he can't figure out how people just "get over it." He does, however, find that unless something REALLY bad or REALLY good happens, his brain does a little emotional reset when he goes to sleep. Like, go to sleep feeling down, wake up feeling kinda meh.

Kirishima has considered re-dying his hair. Come on, hot pink is so manly! How could he not consider it? But he eventually resigns himself, because red just is his color now. Also, I feel like once, before dorms, he was really out of it, so he went to class with his hair down, and this was the first time anyone had seen him like that, and everyone was just confused as hell. Especially Bakugo. "Your hair's less shitty today. What the fuck."

Uraraka takes part in stupid bets all the time. Partially for the fun, and partially for the profit. She once floated Bakugo to the ceiling for 26 minutes before she had to put him down, because Kiri said that if she survived, he'd give her a dollar per minute. She ended up having to go to the recovery girl's office, but at least she got her money.

Mina is one of the few people who can understand and keep up with Deku's mumbling. This is not because she specifically tries to, (like Uraraka) or because she's known him long enough, (like Bakugo.) She's just used to gossipping with Hagakure at 4 AM, and therefore can understand high-speed low-volume speech. She's called him out on things before, but only when she's interested. She completely tunes out things about All Might and heroes and whatnot, but if he ever has anything to say about his classmates, specifically about Uraraka, Todoroki, and Bakugo, (because she, Hagakure, and Denki placed bets,) she hears every word.

Iida secretly loves to break the rules. He acts strict in front of anyone who he respects, or wants respect from, but after he thinks everyone's asleep, he relaxes, doing things that he considers rule-breaking without any remorse. Denki heard someone walking around outside while on one of his late-night internet searches. After finally willing himself to break away from an article about pandas, he popped his head out of the door to find Iida sneaking around. After some silent observation, Denki realized that not only did Iida just get back from breaking curfew, but he casually stole Hot Cheetos from Bakugo's room on the way back to his dorm. He said nothing the next day, at least not directly, but he sorta shoved Sero and Iida in the same room so that they could be bad influences on each other.

Despite it being a major part of her quirk, Hagakure almost never feels invisible. She has a lot of friends to talk to, she can wear cool outfits to stand out, and she is always talking. The only time she's not talking is during stealth training, and when she's using said stealth training to spy on people.

Tsu's little "ribbit" thing is actually just for fun. It feels right to do it, so she does it. Nothing wrong with that. However, pretty much everyone else assumed it was a part of her quirk. It took an insane amount of convincing to get that idea out of their heads. Deku was proud to be one of the few who never actually associated it with her quirk. He could prove it if he wanted to, actually, but that would require showing someone his notebook, which would open a whole other can of worms.

Oh yeah, speaking of Deku's notebook, he has multiple. Six to be exact. One is on his fellow classmates, one is on most pros, one is on the LOV, one is specifically on All Might, one is on his own quirk development, and the last one is a narrative of what's happening in his life, which is why he's constantly thinking as if he's telling a story. He mentally narrates everything that happens in his life, although he sometimes wonders if he's dramatizing things because of that. His internal monologue is constantly running its mouth, and sometimes he ends up speaking over it.

Tokoyami really likes plague doctors. He just does. He wants a plague doctor mask so he can walk around with less judgement, or maybe more, who knows? He just loved the concept. He claims that they're just really cool, which most people agree with, but he's never told any of them that he likes them because he saw a plague doctor mask for the first time at the age of six, and immediately thought bird man.

Sato likes baking, but he can't cook normally to save his life. Well, he can, but he can't. He hasn't burned water, and he knows how to do the very basics, but he can't function without a recipe, not to mention the fact that he's googled how to saute mushrooms three times and still doesn't get it. Baking comes pretty naturally. Exact measurements, precise times and temperatures. Cooking does not. Eyeballing ingredient amounts, guessing if the flame is high enough, trying to figure out how often 'stir occasionally' is. He actually once asked Bakugo if he had advice, to which he responded, "Why the hell are you asking me?!"

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libermachinae · 3 years

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[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise 29. Prowl, in profile, looks to the right. Prowl: “I lost my best friend, Prime. Megatron stood at his side and only one of them walked away.” End ID.]

I’ve never stopped thinking about this line, so! What the fuck is up with Prowl and Bumblebee’s relationship? (Spoiler alert: I do not think Bee is another ex 😔)

They first met millions of years ago when Bumblebee went to Orion Pax for help regarding horrible dream he’d been having, and from there remained in each other’s orbits, though not really friends.

[ID: From Robots in Disguise #32. Prowl and Bumblebee stand with their backs to the reader, watching Metroplex lift off in city form while a battle rages in the sky around him. Bumblebee: “Nobody said war’s logical, bud.” Prowl: “That’s my point. We’re going to do stupid things until we die.” Bumblebee: “Primus, Prowl. Lighten up. We’re not like the Decepticons!” End ID.]

During the war, they got along fine, but in the one snapshot we see there’s not a lot of friendliness between them: Prowl is talking about the futility of their war and Bumblebee happens to be someone nearby. There’s a familiarity to the way they talk to each other (I doubt many people would bother or could get away with calling Prowl “bud”), but it’s more like coworkers who have been stepping on each other’s toes for a long time than real friends. The conversation begins and ends with Prowl’s internal monologue, while Bumblebee’s perspective is just a device used to draw out more of Prowl’s thoughts. Little is shown of their relationship because at this point, it just isn’t there.

[ID: Screenshot from The Transformers #21. Optimus stands with his back to the reader in the foreground, with Bumblebee and Prowl in the Background. Prowl’s caption: “That’s when Prime filled in the ‘Bee. He took it better than I expected. Smart questions. No whining. Focused the anger. He’s going to be a great leader one day. If he gets the chance.” End ID.]

(”the ‘Bee” lol Costa’s Prowl is a specimen) Half a million years later, they’re on Earth, Bumblebee has been elected and then demoted, and Optimus is leaving with most of the Autobots while assigning them to investigate the illegal weapons trade. Prowl has thoughts on Bumblebee’s leadership, which will be the ongoing theme of their relationship for the rest of the series. In typical Prowl fashion, he will never speak these particular thoughts aloud. (continues under the cut!)

[ID: Screenshots from Spotlight: Bumblebee. Panel 1: Bumblebee points offpanel with his cane and at himself with his thumb. Bumblebee: “No, wait, hang on, Prowl—I’m in charge here.” Panel 2: Prowl points a stern finger at Bumblebee, offpanel. Prowl: “What? Come on. This isn’t about being in charge, it’s about being right.” Panel 3: Prowl, flanked by two other Autobots, walks away from Bumblebee. Prowl: “’I’m in charge.’ Optimus Prime would never put up with that kind of procedural nonsense.” End ID.]

Spotlight: Bumblebee is basically a story about Bumblebee trying to impress Prowl. It opens by showing us how little respect Prowl holds for Bumblebee, ignoring his orders and taking bots he had already assigned to different tasks. We already know that Prowl is no Optimus fan, making the dig at Bumblebee extra cutting. It also doesn’t hurt that Bumblebee’s whole story so far has been about trying to live up to Optimus, Prowl’s words coming as long-anticipated confirmation that he has failed to do so.

[ID: Screenshot from Spotlight: Bumblebee. Prowl smiles. “Means the little guy’s got more spark than I gave him credit for, these last couple million years. Taking down five bad guys on his own— and blaming himself for not stopping a hundred more? And then coming home and taking control?” End ID.]

“That’s what Prime would do.”

Recklessly endangering himself for the sake of taking down a few “bad guys”? Yeah, that actually sounds exactly like Optimus.

Bumblebee proves himself taking command and earns a little respect from Prowl, even finding the confidence to bite back for Prowl’s “procedural nonsense” comment. It marks a big shift in their relationship, and by the time they’re back on Cybertron in time for Death of Optimus Prime, they’re working together by choice rather than decree. If we’re looking for a point where they become friends, I think this is it, a whole three years before the “best friend” panel above. All it took was a “couple million years” of just tolerating each other.

And this takes us into Phase 2!

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #1. Bumblebee waves a cellphone-like device in Prowl’s face. Prowl: “They’re not my friends.” Bumblebee: “Whatever they are—you keep them in line or I will. You understand?” End ID.]

And also into an ongoing conversation about friendship!

The pair is back on Cybertron following the events of Death of Optimus Prime and trying to figure out how to bring order to their home, and immediately disagree about the best way to do that. Bumblebee refers to the newly deputized Decepticon enforcers as Prowl’s “friends,” using the word to highlight the unprofessional, independent nature of what is essentially Prowl’s personal anti-neutral militia.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #1. Bumblebee: “Rodimus and his crew died. They were our friends—we can’t—can’t not eulogize them.” Prowl: “They were my comrades—dammit, my friends, too.” End ID.]

This leads into a conversation about the recently-departed Lost Light, for which Bumblebee thinks a memorial should be held. This time, when the word “friend” is used, it’s more sincere. Bumblebee also doesn’t say “my friends”—he extends an invitation that Prowl accepts, albeit clumsily.

Does he mean it, though? Prowl is not so socially bankrupt to not understand how friendships are supposed to look. Even if we dismiss his attitude to the Lost Light as general Prowlishness, this scene is followed by a conversation with Arcee in which he says he doesn’t trust anyone, which is a pretty major hurtle to get over. It’s not a stretch to assume Prowl is lying.

He never makes a move like that without a purpose, though. By referring to the Lost Light crew as his friends, he gets Bumblebee to relax and see things from his own perspective, giving him an opportunity to talk about the more pressing security issues they are facing. This, in fact, is Prowl’s go-to strategy: identify the person in power and get close to them, thereby giving him the ability to watch over how that power is wielded.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #1. Prowl speaks to Bumblebee over his shoulder. Prowl: “Look. every day, I watch the sun go down and wonder if we can make it another night without them. If I even want to.” Bumblebee: “Huh. I mean, yeah. Me, too.” Prowl: “I’m not emotionless, Bee. I care about Rodimus and Magnus and the rest as much as you do. But look at the situation logically.” End ID.]

That said, I don’t think Prowl is lying here. Despite how warped his worldview becomes, I do believe that at his core, Prowl wants what is best for Cybertronians (well, Autobots). Many of his darker plans were created with the intention to keep people alive, so regardless of his personal feelings to them, he is not “emotionless” and does feel something over their deaths.

[ID: First screenshot from Robots in Disguise #2. Bumblebee smirks at Prowl, holding up his electrocuting cane. Bumblebee: “Heh—same old Prowl. Wheeljack whipped it up the other day.” Prowl: I’ve got to have a talk with Wheeljack.” Second and third screenshots from Robots in Disguise #3. Panel 1: Bumblebee frowns at Prowl. “Enough! Prowl—shut up. Metalhawk has a point.” Panel 2: Prowl looks furious. Bumblebee is holding him back from lunging at someone off-panel. Prowl: “Bad move…” Bumblebee: “Down, Prowl.” End ID.]

I don’t have much to say about these scenes, except that I like them as an illustration of their dynamic in this part of the story. Cold, confrontational, and yet with a degree of familiarity I would’ve thought more fitting to a much older connection. I really can’t imagine the Prowl from half a million years ago, talking at Bumblebee about the folly of their commander, allowing himself to be held back and calmly talked down. Through their work together, something is developing that we might almost mistake for genuine friendship.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #4. Arcee: “Come on. I know you didn’t destroy it. You’re not that hard. But you are cold and calculating. Enough that even Bumblebee—even your only friend—thinks you might’ve.” Arcee: “Bee won’t say it. But you know that’s what he’s thinking.” Prowl: “It doesn’t bother me. Bee doubts everything. Even himself.” End ID.]

“Even Bee—even your only friend—thinks you might’ve.”

“Bee doubts everything. Even himself.”

The same phrase is used twice in the conversation to distinguish Bumblebee as an outlier (not the superpower kind, though maybe his ability to tolerate the Worst People should be considered). For Arcee, it’s in his proximity to Prowl. Prowl’s use of the phrase is a little more ambiguous, though. Is he saying that one should have faith in oneself if nothing else? It definitely fits in his worldview. Or is he saying Bumblebee is worthy of being trusted, believed in?

If so, what does that mean? Bumblebee would take Prowl’s endorsement as faith in his abilities as a leader, but we already know Prowl doesn’t view leadership that way. He needs to get an Autobot elected, and Bumblebee specifically, because he needs someone in power he can get close to and control. Bumblebee’s leadership, though perhaps not Bumblebee himself, offers Cybertron a path towards peace. So, actually, Arcee and Prowl mean the same thing: Bumblebee is special because he’s the person Prowl is closest to.

This is also the first indication we get that Bumblebee does not trust Prowl so fully as Prowl wants. As sneaky as Prowl is, it’s easy to forget sometimes that Bumblebee is his own agent with his own ability to measure the facts. He wants to trust Prowl, but that doesn’t blind him to Prowl’s reputation.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #5. Ironhide and Prowl cluster around Bumblebee, who looks contemplative. Prowl: “Think about what they’re say about you in the future, Bee! The Autobot that let the Decepticons go free?!” Ironhide: “He’s right—a little. Think about what the future can be. Cybertron’s our world,and tomorrow’s our day…” End ID.]

We get to see more of Bumblebee soon after, since Prowl gets cerebroshelled. Bomb-Prowl is much more ruthless than the genuine article, expressing little care for the lives of any Cybertronians, but nobody notices it around Prowl’s standard prickly persona. Bumblebee experiences growing unease with Bomb-Prowl’s methods, though interestingly does not dismiss him for it. Consider the above scene: a fight has just broken out. To resolve it, Ironhide, Starscream, and Ironhide recommend removing the Decepticons’ ID chips. Prowl is the sole voice of dissent, and Bumblebee chooses to ignore him while also maintaining their partnership.

Bumblebee can think for himself and say no to Prowl. This situation is not just Prowl manipulating and taking advantage of Bumblebee: the latter is fully capable of making his own decisions.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #11. Bumblebee stands on the left and Prowl on the right. Bumblebee: “Am I wearing blinders because you’re my friend? Are you even my friend?” End ID.]

When Omega Supreme is attacked, Bomb-Prowl accuses the Decepticons, opening himself up for scrutiny: Metalhawk accuses him of killing Ratbat. Bumblebee starts to express his doubts openly and he questions not only Prowl’s innocence, but their relationship altogether. (Also, though literally Bumblebee is asking, “Can I consider you, Prowl, a friend?” his question can also be read as, “Are you who you say you are?”)

Bumblebee’s question doesn’t imply he trusts Prowl. He doesn’t even trust himself: he’s wondering if their friendship has installed in him an implicit bias in Prowl’s favor. There is a possibility his feelings regarding Prowl are strong enough to warp his perception of reality, and he’s worried that he can’t see what's obvious to everyone else. In contrast to previous leaders Prowl has watched over, Bumblebee is aware of his ability and willingness to manipulate those around him. He’s not under any illusion that Prowl is honest with him all the time, but he also isn’t confident enough in himself to remove Prowl’s influence.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #11. Bumblebee: “Then I want to get back to finding Ironhide and the others, because he’s my friend and friends look out for each other.” End ID.]

There is also the matter that he does consider Prowl a friend. Not a good friend (as in caring, respectful, thoughtful), but nevertheless one he does not want to lose.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #14. Panel 1: Bumblebee shoves Metalhawk aside and reaches for Prowl, who is collapsing to the floor. Bumblebee: “Prowl—I—” Panel 2: Prowl lies on the floor. Prowl: “Bee… it wasn’t… wasn’t me… How could you not… see that?” End ID.]

I think the feeling is mutual. Prowl’s not angry at Bumblebee for falling for the Decepticons’ trap.

He’s hurt that his friend didn’t notice he was gone.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #16. Ironhide helps Prowl up. Prowl: “…I’m me.” Ironhide: “Got too much of an ego ta be anybody else.” Prowl: “I—I needed to hear—” Bumblebee (off-panel): “Later, Prowl…” End ID.]

Their relationship starts to go downhill from here. After breaking free from Devastator, Prowl actually tries to talk about his feelings, and Bumblebee dismisses him. To be fair, there are other things going on that need their attention, but Prowl is never given an opportunity to process what he has been through. Bumblebee, who excels at talking to people and helping them through their problems, never offers a space for Prowl to open up about his experience, and it’s the internalization of his trauma that leads to Prowl’s emotional degeneration through the rest of the series.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #18. Panel 1: Bumblebee hunches over his cane, struggling to stand. Bumblebee: “It’s *kaff*… Well, I don’t want to know *kaff kaff* what’s going on in his mind, but… Prowl didn’t do any of the *koff* terrible stuff.” Panel 2: Bumblebee stands in front of Prowl, facing the reader. Bumblebee: “He was *kaff* being controlled by Bombshell. I mean obviously he didn’t *koff* kill you guys—he didn’t blow up the Decepticon pen. He *kaff kaff* wasn’t running a secret war. He didn’t *koff* have Ratbat eliminated.” End ID.]

I don’t think Bumblebee is being intentionally malicious, though. Consider all the times Prowl has had to say outright that he feels things and has emotions: I think it’s more accurate to say Bumblebee didn’t believe him. The doubts he felt about Prowl were never with regard to his intentions, but rather the way he interacted with and understood the world around him. Bumblebee, going by the reputation Prowl made for himself, doesn’t believe Prowl processes events the same way he does, and as a result falsely assume that his mind control and forced combination will have no greater impact on Prowl.

And then even Bumblebee’s faith in Prowl’s intentions is shaken when Arcee reveals he did call for Ratbat’s assassination. Bumblebee is so betrayed he passes out.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #18. Panel 1: Ironhide grins to the side while Bumblebee holds a fist to his mouth, coughing. Ironhide: “Aw. An’ everything was goin’ so well…” Bumblebee: “Prowl. Why—what—*kof kofff* *koff kaf*” Panel 2: Bumblebee’s hand reaches up as he collapses. Bumblebee: “*kaf kaf* Nnnggggh…” End ID.]

The next time they interact is in Dark Cybertron. Getting close to the end, here!

[ID: First screenshot from More Than Meets the Eye #23. Bumblebee points his gun up to the off-panel Titan. Prowl stands beside him. Bumblebee: “What?!” Prowl: “You talked a good game with the Dinobots. But you need to act, too. When you were in charge of the city, you were paralyzed.” Second screenshot from Robots in Disguise #23. Panel 1: Prowl, yelling: “You’re hesitating again! Look at us! We’re teaming up with the enemy and letting Starscream do whatever he wants?!” Panel 2: Bumblebee, with a steadying hand out, stands in front of Soundwave. Bumblebee: “Prowl, shut up for once. All your attitude ever got us was… was the Constructicons.” Soundwave: “The Constructicons stand with you?” Bumblebee: “Long story, Soundwave. And this isn’t a team up. We just happen to have the same objective.” Panel 3: Prowl points at Soundwave. “Then do something! Don’t just let this—this—Decepticon control you!” End ID. Third screenshot from Robots in Disguise #23. Prowl holds up a struggling Arcee while yelling at Bumblebee. Prowl: “You let this happen, Bee! We attack now!” Bumblebee: “Prowl, get your priorities in order—” End ID.]

Evidence of Prowl’s trauma starts to become more visible. The comradery they shared before is gone; Prowl’s methodical approach to problems is gone. Instead, he is scared and impulsive, and he takes out his new anxieties on his “only friend” because Bee is the one thing he’s supposed to be able to control.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #26. Panel 1: Bumblebee and Prowl stand amidst flaming wreckage. Hound (off-panel): “Where’s Megatron?” Bumblebee: “He’s… I think he’s gone. He took the thumb and ran.” Prowl: “Dammit. You should have never done back for him, Bee.” Panel 2: Bumblebee grabs Prowl’s neck. Bumblebee: “Prowl, you smug piece of—” Prowl: “Uk!” Panel 3: Bumblebee releases Prowl. Bumblebee: “I’ve had enough of your self-righteous second-guessing…” End ID.”

But he can’t. Bumblebee has gotten used to ignoring Prowl or refuting him. Add to that Prowl’s heightened emotional state, and Bumblebee responds to his criticism with open aggression. Stuck in crisis mode like they are, there is no way for them to reset and calm down until the Titan is finally taken down and everything comes to a standstill for a moment.

[ID: Screenshot from More Than Meets the Eye #27. Prowl leans close to Bumblebee, gesturing to his head. The Constructicons linger in the background. Bumblebee: “Oh, good. I was hoping your friends would could out of hiding.” Prowl: “They weren’t—I mean, they’re not—They just shared my memories. The Decepticons exploited my—my—my head!” End ID.]

And with this, we cycle back to their first conversation in Robots in Disguise. Before, Bumblebee used the word “friends” to criticize Prowl’s Decepticon enforcers and the freedom they were granted to terrorize the neutrals. Prowl, known to circumvent the chain of command, decided to forgo it almost entirely in that case, creating a violent, lawless group that did not fit into the military structure the Autobots still relied on.

Now, he uses “friend” to refer to the enthusiasm the Constructicons have for Prowl. Prowl’s deceit has been brought into the open, legitimizing Bumblebee’s fears and forcing him to question all over again his role as a leader. The doubts he had in himself and Prowl are tied together, so that even with the knowledge that everything that happened to Prowl was out of his control, he still feels threatened by the Decepticon presence Prowl now carries with him.

And even though he’s met with this kind of hostility, Prowl still comes back to Bumblebee to continue work as his advisor. He’s got a group of bots literally right there who trust him and support him without reservation, but he chooses Bumblebee because he still believes in their power to do right by Cybertron.

[ID: Screenshot from More Than Meets the Eye #27. Prowl stands on the left, Bumblebee on the right. Prowl: “Bee—we stopped his plan, but Shockwave is still out there.” Bumblebee: I know, and you’re totally right, and anything less than a perfect attack plan and we’re sunk—so I need you to come up with one. In the meantime—mingle. There has to be somebody you want to say ‘hi’ to.” Prowl: “Actually…” End ID.]

This is the last time they talk to each other. Prowl reminds him of the impending danger, Bumblebee is grateful for his expertise, and then he encourages Prowl to go relax. There’s something to be said for the fact that upon leaving Bumblebee’s side, Prowl immediately seeks out his ex, but I think it’s mainly just that he’s lonely rather than anything nefarious. He’s lonely, and despite their distrust and criticism and generally poor treatment of each other, Bumblebee is someone who accepts his company, a rare thing that’s he’s going to lose very soon.

When I first read the words “best friend,” I assumed Prowl was lying. I also assumed, even if that was true, it would not hold in the reverse. I think I’ve changed my mind on both counts. Prowl didn’t pursue Bumblebee with genuine intentions, but they both ended up getting something out of it. It’s not a healthy relationship, but at a tumultuous time in their lives it might literally be the best they can do and in their own ways, they trust they’re going to look out for each other.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #18. Bumblebee, with his cane, leans on Prowl as they leave the ruins of Iacon. Their plating bears obvious damage, and ash and dust float through the air around them. End ID.]

#maccadam #transformers #prowl #bumblebee #idw #meta #thoughts #i gotta rewrite sparklight #next project after solenoid and fault lines

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catboylupin · 3 years

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you have rly interesting takes abt wolfstar!! I was wondering if you had any head canons about the Prank like why Sirius did it and what Remus' reaction was?

hello and thank you and i’m So sorry that this has been sitting in my drafts for like Weeks at this point.... i’m physically incapable of doing anything intellectually demanding in a timely matter and this is such a hard topic because, like, i don’t know!! i’m not very well acquainted with the Fandom Mythology surrounding the Prank or the mainstream interpretation of events so i really don’t know what to make of it, especially in terms of sirius’s motivation. here are a few things that i referenced when typing this all out: meta meta/fic fic beautiful art

the first thing that is interesting to me, and something to keep in the back of our minds when thinking about this, is that when discussing the prank in the shack during PoA, sirius says that “it served [snape] right.”

also i think that the song hospital by the modern lovers possesses some outstanding post Prank vibes...

ok so re: sirius’s motivation. i don’t know. i think it was a combination of things. i don’t even think that sirius entirely knew why he did it, or what there was to gain.

i guess the thing to sort out is to what extent sirius factored remus into the equation. was he not thinking about remus at all and how it would affect him and just wanted to hurt snape because he hated him, or was he like “this is for remus and remus will think it’s funny too”?

i think that he felt slightly goaded by snape because snape was being a massive asshole trying to get them expelled, and he also just did not like him at all. like, the most obvious motivation or end goal in sirius telling him is that he just wanted to scare snape so he would leave them alone and also it would be a little funny because hahaha he is a slimey wizard nazi (at age 15/16 do you think sirius would be politically advanced enough to have a ‘punching nazis’ outlook on snape? i don’t know)

and i don’t think that he ever seriously thought that remus would react well (like, how could he? sirius had to have known that remus’s worst fear ever was hurting someone). and he was literally risking the entire school finding out he was a werewolf. but maybe a small part of sirius was like “take that snape!! that’s what you get for bullying my beautiful mysterious friend!! remus will love this lol”

but i think the thing that makes the most sense is that he wasn’t thinking about remus that much and didn’t think he would react well.

and here i where you can start thinking about sirius’s upbringing and how that affected how he viewed werewolves/remus.

i think that sirius was probably raised surrounded by some pretty intense anti-werewolf beliefs and he dealt with remus being a werewolf by 1. separating remus from the wolf and 2. kind of like romanticizing it. so much of sirius’s attraction to remus stemmed from this sort of fascination.. james was so similar to sirius and generally uncomplicated, but remus, even though he was kind of weird looking, always sort of elicited this morbid curiosity from him. and he saw remus’s lycanthropy as something he could fix, or at least help (see: the animagus thing, my personal headcanon that he was very into taking care of remus during their relationship). remus was his tragic werewolf friend. but remus never thought that sirius understood his lycanthropy the way remus wanted him to, that there was always this sort of tension, a lingering sense of “you think you’re so different from your family, but you’re not really.”

sirius could have thought that snape actually knew about remus and wanted to make him prove that he knew, like: “sirius, i know what remus’s secret is, hint hint wink wink” “okay, if you really know then go to the shrieking shack,” like snape kind of goaded sirius into telling him, and sirius thought that he would know better. but that is just such a profoundly stupid thing for sirius to do, and i feel like putting too much blame on snape is being too generous to sirius.

leescoresbies has an interesting headcanon that the prank happened around the time sirius ran away from home and he was thus was very emotionally volatile. and so it was in part a result of sirius’s trauma/anger/joy, and i like that idea, those emotions had to have been a factor. and if you are someone that has a really hard time reconciling with sirius’s shitty behavior as a teen, that’s kind of an easy/ canon compliant way of saying “yeah, he was an asshole, but there was also this other thing going on...etc.” however, i don’t think that was the only reason, or even the main reason. i think that sirius is a deeply flawed person and thinking about the prank from the perspective of said flawed-ness makes his and remus’s relationship all the more complicated/interesting.

and unfortunately a lot of this sort of boils down to whether or not sirius wanted to kill or seriously injure snape. those were the stakes he was dealing with in this situation. i don’t think that sirius wanted to kill him, just because that’s not really the sort of thing teenagers do, you know. and, as further evidenced by how he treated kreacher, sirius doesn’t always treat those he considers lesser than him with any sort of respect. maybe sirius just didn’t care that much about whether or not he died. he knew on an intellectual level that he was sending snape to his likely death, but maybe he just didn’t make that calculation in the moment? like sirius was so used to not facing consequences that maybe he thought things wouldn’t turn out that badly.

i can understand, maybe, in sirius’s version of events, in his own reckless, teenage narrative, that he thought it would be okay to hurt snape. but remus? did he seriously fail to make the calculation that he would be turning him into a murderer? what sirius did was such a major, major trespass of trust/friendship in a way that is actually sort of unforgivable.

doesn’t sirius say in PoA “i’d rather die than betray my friends!” ? well, he did : / he betrayed remus..

and i think that remus would be massively upset and i don’t think he ever really completely forgave him.

when did this happen? 5th or 6th year? i think that by this time remus would kind of be relegated to a state of melodramatic, shame-ridden misery that came along with being sort of in love with sirius. and so the prank really tore him apart, because of course it would. remus was so used to being defined by his lycanthropy, used to facing discrimination, and his friends were his one refuge from that. but then sirius who he loved used him basically as a means to an end. what sirius did was incredibly exploitative— he exploited remus’s marginalized identity for personal gain without thinking about how it would affect him. and i think that remus really did care about him enough to want to forgive him. he probably felt like he had to forgive him (his friends were too important for him to lose, and, importantly, there was probably this feeling of “i am a werewolf and therefore i need to be extraordinarily forgiving in order to be perceived as non threatening, and this is just how the world treats people like me and i can’t and shouldn’t fight back”). and those are just such deeply fucked up feelings to feel towards a friend, especially one you admire and have a major soul crushing crush on.

i think that there was a period of time after the fact when they weren’t really talking, remus was very rightfully upset, everyone was angry at sirius... i think that sirius apologized, but sort of begrudgingly. because twenty years later he still thought that snape got what he deserved.

at times i think that remus was someone who saw his relationships as very transactional. and initially he felt in debt to the other marauders because of the animagus thing and just because they were his friends. and, as dear @direwolf-summer said in this post, the prank changed the dynamic between remus and sirius: remus was no longer the one in debt, sirius was. and that is such an interesting point. remus starts demanding more from him and he finally feels that, even though sirius was really popular and closer to james or whatever, they were on even standing. this is how he was able to be more forward about his feelings— sirius stopped being this precious object who demanded endless patience in order to retain as a friend (or so he thought, this is remus’s insecurity showing). he stopped feeling so bad about having a crush on sirius. he’d be like “fuck you sirius. i’m in love with you. deal with it and you have to be nice about it in order to repay your debts.” like he wouldn’t say that out loud but it would be in his internal monologue and he would kinda hint at it.

there’s that line in eclipse and transit where remus says: “You say one thing and do another and half the time you don’t even try to say it, it’s like, I don’t know, like you’re daring me to leave. And everything—every single thing Sirius, it all comes back to January of sixth year, whether you’ll ever admit it or not. Or whether you even realize it” and i think it’s fitting. during fights remus probably would bring it up, and sirius would fail to understand why remus never got over it. like, sirius: “i apologized i was 15!!” and remus: “this is bigger than just that, what you did was emblematic of your flaws as a person and how even though you understand me more than almost anyone else you still don’t understand me completely and it frustrates me!!! and also i feel like you never fully understood that what you did was extraordinary fucked up.”

and i think that remus was so in love with sirius that he did forgive him, or otherwise allowed his love and affection to forget about it. but it was always bubbling under the surface...and that’s why their relationship was sort of volatile, that’s why he was so willing to believe that sirius was the spy (as in, “he betrayed me, why wouldn’t he have betrayed james and lily?”)

now i’m remembering when, in one of the snape’s memory /pensieve / flashback scenes in OotP, sirius says “i wish it was the full moon” and remus says, darkly, “you might.” now, we don’t know if that scene takes place before or after the Prank (before probably? idk), but i feel like it further compounds the extent to which sirius seems woefully unaware that remus is a werewolf and it’s not something he can separate from himself and that lycanthropy impacts every facet of his life. sirius came to understand it as just some fun thing to do every month. his sort of ignorance towards other people’s needs and experiences is also further evidenced by how he treated harry like he was james. sirius has a pretty good track record of taking other people’s pain and making into something for him to enjoy. and he doesn’t do so in a way that is entirely selfish either, i think he really thought he was helping harry and remus. maybe it all goes back to his family and childhood trauma or something (doesn’t everything? “it all started one afternoon in the 1960s..”)

#i have vague thoughts about other things but that's the extent to which i am capable of articulating my feelings #this is all gibberish isn't it? idk. no tldr im forcing you to read all my illegible brain soup #wolfstar #wolfstar meta #the prank #ask #meta #this is the thing i got done today i guess i'm a genius!!! if i finish my overdue econ ia i will be god!!!!!!!#op

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toosicktoocare · 4 years

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prompt: if you are interested..! i’ve always been wondering what happened to jon once he was finally able to get treatment for his hand. burns get infected the most easily, is all i’m sayin, yknow? (love your work! have a great day)

I can finally write this because I finally got to that point in the podcast, lol

Set directly after episode 92, AKA the episode where the archives squad is finally reunited, Elias confesses, and general insane shit hits the fan that, as Tim so nicely puts, is the usual around here.

Little soft JonMartin just because

Jon’s rummaging through the archives, briefly scanning statements he wants to take with him back to Georgie’s, the only distraction from his otherwise reeling mind. It’s almost funny, he thinks, how his mind has taken to an endless, internal monologue despite the very obvious pain drumming almost rhythmically against his temples. He’s lost in a whirlwind of how’s and what if’s, and the statements, he thinks... well, the statements may be the only drug that can temporarily take him away from himself.

“Jon?”

Jon jumps, not having heard the door open over the sound of his deep, frantic inner voice. He whips around, one file clutched a little too tightly to his chest, and sees Martin hovering in the doorway, almost as if he’s afraid to enter.

“Sorry,” Martin sputters softly. “I did knock.”

“It’s... fine,” Jon sighs out, the initial anger of being startled dissipating along a low breath. He studies Martin, eyes flicking all around for any sign of injury or distress, but Martin just looks hesitantly worried for him, and Jon finds that he has kind of missed that look.

“Are you alright?”

Though soft in tone, Jon can physically feel the weight behind each word in the short yet not so simple question. He debates on what he should tell Martin, or rather, if he should tell Martin anything, but his present, physical well-being comes back by a burning twinge across his burned hand from where he’s gripping the file too tightly. He hisses sharply between his teeth and lets the file fall from his hand.

“Jon! What’s wrong?” Martin’s already starting toward Jon, both hands reaching outward, and Jon quickly finds that his feet do not actually want to move, so, carefully, he extends his burned hand out away from where he’s had it cradled to his chest.

Martin’s fingers are incredibly gentle around Jon’s thin wrist, such a drastic contrast from the fear and worry so evident across his face.

“Oh, Jon... This... This doesn’t look good at all. Have you gone to get this looked over?” Martin’s careful as he twists Jon’s hand around, eyes sinking the more he takes in the angry red welts of what appears to be a rather aggressive burn.

“I haven’t had time,” Jon admits, detailing, to himself, the events of the last week that have taken up the time he should have been spending on looking after himself. “It’s been... Well, it’s been a week.” He laughs at this, small, bitter, yet alarmingly overwhelmed, and if not for Martin’s steady presence, he thinks he may just crumple to the floor. Still, his knees begin to shake, and Martin’s quick to catch on and guide him down into a chair.

“I’m going to get a first aid kit.”

“Martin,” Jon calls out, stopping Martin at the door.

Martin freezes and looks over his shoulder, his face an undistinguishable mess of emotions, and Jon swallows back the practiced words of “I’m fine,” saying instead, “thank you.”

The panic that flicks across Martin’s eyes doesn’t go unnoticed, and Jon quietly berates himself for always worrying his staff as Martin quickly disappears down the hall. He sinks back against his chair with a groan and cradles his hand to chest once more. For just a moment, he allows his head to tilt back against the chair until he’s starting at the dusty ceiling. He feels weak. He thought, considering Elias’s confession, that he would feel better now that he’s physically inside the archives, but he still feels relatively weak and slightly panicked. There’s a tightness pressing against his lungs, and he can only pin that on the apparent need to record statements.

“You’re still here, Jon.”

Jon musters up as much energy as he can to cast a sharp, dangerous gaze to Elias, who’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed casually.

“What do you want, Elias?”

“I didn’t see you leave. I was curious to know why you’re still here.”

“I’m-”

“He’s here for me.”

Jon’s jaw snaps shut, and he leans forward, eager, curious, for he’s never heard Martin speak with a tone of finality such as that. He watches, both brows raised, as Martin squeezes past Elias to get into the archives, and he’s unable to pry his eyes away as Martin drops to a crouch in front of him and opens the first aid kit.

“You’re hurt-”

“Will that be all, Elias?”

Martin looks over his shoulder toward Elias, and Jon can make out the tension tightening Martin’s muscles through the sudden defensive, stiffness of Martin’s back and shoulders.

Jon holds his breath, almost afraid to see the scene play out, but Elias lets his arms fall to his side in a visble show of defeat.

“Of course. I’m sure you’ll see that Jon is tended to.” He disappears down the hall, and Jon swallows thickly, a lump forming in his throat.

Martin’s uncharacteristically quiet as he pulls supplies out of the first aid kit, and he wordlessly holds his hand out, prompting Jon to drop his burned hand atop Martin’s outstretched palm.

“I’ll do what I can, but you should still probably go to a clinic.” Martin says, pulling out an antiseptic cream. “This is going to sting, but we need to try and prevent infection.”

Jon can only nod with eyes shut tight and grit his teeth as Martin begins smoothing the cream over his hand. It burns terribly, but, it’s an almost nice distraction from everything else that invading his thoughts. And, he thinks, at least the clear presence of pain means he’s still somewhat human. The bandaging that follows doesn’t hurt as bad, and Jon manages to pry his eyes open to watch Martin’s delicate yet thorough work.

When Martin’s sure he’s finished, after having studied every inch of Jon’s wrapped hand, Jon doesn’t pull his hand away, and Martin doesn’t let go.

“Are you alright?”

It’s the second time Martin’s uttered that single question, and Jon shakes his head, his hair slipping from where he’s had it tucked behind his ears to now frame darkly around his face. “Are you?” He asks, voice cracking slightly.

“Christ no,” Martin laughs, nervous, and his fingers thighten just a fraction around Jon’s hand. “We’ve been doing our best to get on without you here, but...” Martin drops his free hand atop Jon’s knee. “It’s just not the same without you here. Tim’s been absent more than he’s been here, Melanie... well, she’s great actually, but now she’s bound to this place like the rest of us. What’s with that anyway? Our hearts out now connected to this place?” He realizes, a breath too late, that he’s rambling and that Jon’s grimacing before him, and he stops himself with a low sigh. “Sorry, everything’s just really screwed up right now.”

“I know,” Jon manages, voice barely above a whisper. He shivers slightly, feeling suddenly cold, and Martin frowns at him for the umpteenth time in the fifteen minutes they’ve been together.

“Cold?”

Jon nods, feeling an odd chill washing over him, and Martin leans forward to brush the back of his hand to Jon’s cheek.

“You’re quite warm actually. I think you’re running a fever.”

“That would explain the splitting headache,” Jon mutters, wincing when Martin cups his palm over Jon’s injured hand once more, a little less gentle than he’s been thus far.

“Your hand is really hot. This may already be infected. Jon, you should-”

“Martin, it’s fine,” Jon says, though even he can’t quite believe himself. “I just haven’t been sleeping well. Every time I try, this overwhelming feeling of dread washes over me and constricts my lungs. I think...” He pauses, eyes dragging toward the pile of statements he’s handpicked so far. “I think having those nearby will help.”

“Jon, that’s not okay. You’ll work yourself to death.”

“I have to work, Martin,” Jon says, voice low, leaving little room for argument, and Martin nods and slowly gets to his feet.

“Fine, but promise you’ll sleep first. And that you’ll get yourself to a clinic for your hand. I’m not above following you to wherever you are staying and taking you to a clinic myself, you know.”

“I know,” Jon mumbles, a hint of a smile trying to creep at his lips. He grabs the files, careful of his hand, and starts toward the door, stopping when Martin calls out to him.

“Jon?”

He looks back, one brow raised in silent question.

“Could you... Well, do you think you could...”

“Go on, Martin,” Jon presses, voice sounding more demanding than he means for it to.

“Can you text me?” Martin flushes at the look Jon shoots him. “Not like that! Or... Well... It’s just... You disappeared, Jon, and I was really worried. Could you just text me every now and then so I’ll know you’re okay?”

Jon can feel a similar flush burning up his neck to his cheeks, and he looks away quickly and clears his throat. “Sure,” he stutters out. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Thank you.”

Jon forces himself out of the room, fleeing the weight of those two words that are threatening to squeeze his rapid heart into thousands of fragments. He keeps his eyes cast to the ground, moving on muscle memory alone, and he doesn’t look up, doesn’t even breathe, until he’s standing outside in the chilly air. He turns around and cranes his neck to view the building in its towering entirety, and as if it means anything or holds even the slightest inch of power, he mumbles quietly into the cold air.

“Don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt any of them.”

#tma #the magnus archives #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #whump #whumpfic #sickfic #my writing #my tma writing #fanfic #tma fanfic #i meant for this to be soft #and it got a little more angsty then i meant #just a smidge #also i'm still in s3 so just roll with this okay?#loved this prompt!

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