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#it reminds me of the screen tv series
wonhofeet · 2 years
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i kinda really miss PLL: The Perfectionists <3
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smolsammichowo · 9 months
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i went from not understanding what the fuck the weird gmod toilet meme was to THE ORIGINAL TIKTOK SONG BEING STUCK IN MY HEAD TO THE POINT I AM YELLING OR SWEARING AT MYSELF FOR CATCHING MYSELF HUMMING OR SINGING IT
FUCK
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five minutes | l.m.h
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pairing... bf!minho x gn!reader tags... established relationship, disgustingly fluffy, excessive references to soondoongdori, minho is a cat personified, soft mimo!
operation put your boyfriend to sleep in five minutes is a go.
wc... 1.4k words a/n... ah, yet another domestic fluff fic featuring softy minho. a star specialty! sorry guys this is kinda my fav thing to write ever r u sick of me 😁 anywayz this was inspired by this soft thought and this tiktok like i saw it and immediately thought : lee minho.
ALSO ALSO! HUGE THANK YOU FOR 1K FOLLOWERS! i never would've thought i'd reach this milestone and words couldnt express how incredibly grateful i am for each and every one of you who read and enjoy my works <3 i love you guys thank you so much!
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Minho turned the doorknob and pushed the front door open, greeting Soonie who stood by the entrance with a tilted head. Shutting the door, he hung his bag on the coat rack and bent down to pet his beloved cat’s chin.
“Hi, baby,” the cat nuzzled his head into Minho’s palm and circled around his arm, “where are your brothers, hm?”
Meow… Soonie walked off to the living room as if to answer Minho’s question. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he followed his cat toward the faint nose of your favorite series playing on the TV.
When he entered the room, Minho saw your figure strewn lazily across the couch. Dori was cuddled up against your chest and Soonie hopped up to join Doongie by your feet. His heart warmed at the sight of his loves all huddled together.
“Honey, I’m home,” Minho grabbed your attention with his gentle, sing-song tone, a cheeky smile plastered on his face.
You switched your attention from the screen in front of you to the man standing in the doorway, returning his smile and giving a small wave. “Hi, my love. How was your day?”
Minho padded over to you, scooped Dori up against his chest, and settled himself where the cat had previously taken solace in your arms.
“It was alright,” he said, scooching backward to press his back firm against your front. “Tiring, as usual, but it's fine.”
Though he couldn't see it, you nodded in acknowledgment and pressed a soft kiss to his head. You brought one hand up behind his ear to scratch at his scalp, something you had found he enjoyed.
“Do you want to go to bed already? It is pretty late.” From its place above the TV, the clock read 10:37 PM. “Maybe we should move our little cuddle session to the bedroom.”
Minho sighed and shook his head. “But, I'm already so comfy here. Plus, you wouldn't dare disturb the cats, would you?”
“Please, remember the last time we slept on the couch the whole night? I don’t think we want that happening again.”
“Y/n,” Minho called your name, dragging out the last syllable. “My back hurts so much! Remind me why we stayed on the couch again.”
“I told you we should have moved to the bed! But you wouldn’t listen to me,” you snickered at your boyfriend from the kitchen while you continued to whisk a couple of eggs for your breakfast.
You set the bowl down on the counter and walked over to Minho who was still lying on the couch. When you came into his sight, he made a show of stretching his arms and legs, akin to a cat, accompanied by a few exaggerated groans.
“I don’t think I can get up at all today. I should just call in sick,” Minho draped an arm over his face, letting the other fall limp over the edge of the cushion.
“Don’t you have an important meeting today? I doubt your boss would appreciate you missing that on account of an 'ouchy' back.”
“Well, maybe if you gave me more cuddles, I’d feel a bit better.” Minho peeked at you from under his arm, proposing this cute, yet slightly impractical, solution. “Unless you want me to miss work and stay at home with you today.”
“Alright, you big baby.” Rolling your eyes, you moved to straddle Minho’s lap, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. Now chest to chest, you wrapped an arm around his shoulders, letting the other one snake up his neck to play with the hairs at his nape.
The time you spent wrapped in each other’s warmth turned from seconds to minutes, the comfortable silence lulling you back to sleep. Minutes turned to hours, leaving Minho’s meeting unattended and the scrambled eggs forgotten on the kitchen counter.
“Ugh, at least give me five more minutes,” Minho offered as he continued to stroke Dori’s back, drawing a vibrating purr from the cat. “I don’t wanna get up yet.”
“Oh, come on, you have to brush your teeth anyways. Now get your lazy bum off the couch so we can cuddle on the bed.” You grabbed the throw pillow from behind your back and swung it at Minho’s side, accidentally startling Dori in the process. The cat jumped out of the man’s arms, causing him to throw a frown over his shoulder.
“Now look what you did! You’re scaring our babies.” Finally, Minho stood up, offering you his hand to pull you up as well. You met his hand with your own and anchored yourself up, giving him a sheepish smile.
“Oops.” You shrugged and skipped off to the bedroom, leaving your boyfriend with your three cats in the living room.
“Unbelievable.” Minho took a few steps towards the bathroom, paused, and turned back to look at his cats. “Well, are you coming with me or not?”
While your boyfriend finished his night routine, you lay on your shared bed and grinned to yourself. Operation Put Your Boyfriend to Sleep in Five Minutes was a go. You knew Minho was tired, and you wanted to send him off into a good night’s sleep in the most loving way you could.
The hallway light switched off as Minho opened the door to your bedroom, sporting a playful frown. It was time for Step One: Put him in a blanket.
“Come here, baby,” you peeled the duvet back and patted the space on the bed right next to you, beckoning your pouty boyfriend over to you. “Let’s get you to sleep, yeah?”
Trudging over to his side of the bed, Minho slid onto the mattress and pulled the heavy duvet over his body. Freshly washed, the warm, lavender-scented blanket immediately soothed his senses.
“You could’ve at least stayed with me while I brushed my teeth,” Minho continued to pout as he turned on his side to face you, “and, I don’t know, given me a back hug or something.”
Though his tone was playful, you recognized the look in Minho’s gaze. He yearned for your comfort, but he didn’t know how to ask for it. Reaching over, you cupped his face, gently caressing his cheek with your thumb. You peppered a few pecks on the corners of his mouth, kissing his pout away. Perfect timing for Step Two: Give reassuring pets.
“I’m here now, it’s okay.” His hair was soft in between your fingers as you threaded them through the fluffy locks. They smelled faintly of his coconut shampoo.
Tired, Minho let out a yawn, nose scrunched and eyelids shut. He leaned into your touch, humming contently.
Faintly, the door creaked open and you could hear light thuds on the carpeted floor, followed by a slightly louder thud on the bed as Doongie entered the bedroom and jumped up to join you. He stepped all over Minho’s body—drawing out a quiet yelp from the man beside you. You giggled as Doongie finally plopped down on Minho’s pillow, snuggling against the top of his head. This brought you to Step Three: Tuck him in.
With your boyfriend lying under the covers, you hooked one leg over him, moving your hand on his head to tuck it into your neck, cradling his body with no intent to stop any time soon.
For a second, the universe felt still. It was as though the ever-rotating hands on the clock had stopped moving, pausing to witness this intimate moment between you and Minho; as if even the angels in the skies above didn’t want this sweet gesture to end.
That was until Minho decided to take matters into his own hands and execute Step Four: Put one arm out for temperature regulation.
“It's too warm!” Minho whined into your neck, breaking the silence, and removed one arm from under the blanket, exposing it to the cold air. “Ah, that's better.”
He turned on his side and wrapped his now free arm around the small of your back, pulling you closer to him, if that were even physically possible.
Seeing your bodies pressed flush against each other, Soonie—who was previously lounging at the foot of the bed—crawled up the sheets and nuzzled into the barely-there gap between you and Minho, with Dori following suit.
Within five minutes of lying down, the night ended with your small family cuddled together on the warm, cozy bed, basking in each other’s comfort.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
taglist: @kflixnet @jinnixxn @elllisaaa @captainchrisstan @laylasbunbunny @starsandrqindrops @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @forlix @mires-empire @quesweebs
comments, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated! © like-a-diamondinthesky 2023
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cupid-styles · 1 month
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so hear me out… u decide which one of ur couples this pertains to if any but… they go super hard one night and is like rlly degrading and filty. and they film it all and then the next night he makes her watch herself getting railed and makes her touch herself to how much of a sl*t she was being before… is that too much 🫣
my eye is twitching. here's 1k of sugar daddy h being a mean dom!
word count: 1k
content warnings: exhibitionism, squirting, daddy kink, f masturbation, degradation, dirty talk, m receiving oral, slight bondage, very not ramadan friendly!
. . .
"Are you ready to watch yourself, baby?"
Mia squirms on the wide expanse of Harry's bed, tugging helplessly at the restraints currently holding her wrists to the headboard. He smirks devilishly as he places his laptop on the TV stand directly in front of her, giving her no option but to stare at the dirty movie they'd made a few weeks back. 
It had been a night fueled by a combination of Harry being deep in his dom space and Mia being ready and willing to please. They'd discussed filming themselves many times before and it had always been something they were both interested in. It would never go anywhere, but the flare of exhibitionism it offered was enough to make Mia's core warm and Harry's length ache. 
When he presses 'play', Mia swallows tightly. Immediately, she's overwhelmed with the imagery of her laying in Harry's lap, tummy down, ass up. He's issuing a series of harsh smacks to her skin and making her count each one. Her voice sounds pathetic and worn, likely from the whimpered mewls that fell from her lips every time his palm made contact with her tender ass. She’s already naked — she had worn a pretty white lingerie set for him, but he was quick to snap the straps off her body, plucking the lacy bralette and matching panties from her form. 
“You look like a gorgeous angel, but I know you better than that, Mi,” he’d said as he pushed the fabric off her skin. 
"Slutty little ass," Harry mutters on the screen. In real life, he's crawled onto the bed next to her, his large hand taking real estate on her thigh. "Just needed daddy to punish you like the naughty brat you are, yeah? Needed a reminder of who owns these holes."
"Y-yes daddy," she utters delicately in the video. Her skin heats from hearing how pitiful she sounds. Harry chuckles from beside her.
"Isn't that cute?" Harry asks, nudging his chin in the direction of the small screen in front of them, "Hearing your sweet little voice all wrecked from moaning for me. All that from a couple of slaps on the bum."
She swallows nervously. When she doesn't reply, Harry squeezes her thigh. 
"Asked you a question, pet."
"Uh-huh," Mia replies softly, her pussy clenching as she watches Harry pull her into his lap. It's effortless, the way he yanks his own briefs down to reveal his erect length. With his hands gripping her hips roughly, she listens to the wet gasps fall from her pouty lips when he pushes into her, barely giving her any time to acclimate before he's thrusting upwards. 
"Such a tight little pussy. How do you manage that, hm? Daddy's always fucking this dirty hole and you always feel so good."
Mia whimpers involuntarily and Harry hums. He stretches his body above hers and her eyes flutter, inhaling his scent as he undoes the rope around her wrists. Gently, he lowers her arms down to her stomach, taking her hand into his. He cups it around her bare pussy and she gasps quietly from the featherlight sensation. 
"Play with yourself," he whispers. He curls her middle finger at her pearly clit, applying a bit of pressure before quickly removing it. "Want you to make yourself cum while you watch yourself get fucked, okay? Can you do that for me?"
Mia nods and nibbles on her bottom lip, listening as the version of herself on the screen moans. She's begging for him to fuck her deeper and harder, and she swallows harshly when Harry lays back against the mattress, giving her free rein to watch the video. She peeks over and sees his erection, large and throbbing in his pants. 
"Don't worry about me, sweetheart. I'll take care of myself after I watch you cum."
She exhales shakily, keeping her fingertips hovering over her swollen clit. On the screen, Harry's now fucking into her from behind, her cheek smushed into the pillow and a soundtrack of throaty cries making her hole pulsate in real time. Slowly, she begins to circle her clit, watching as he forms her hair into a messy ponytail and pulls at it, yanking her body upwards. With his chest pressing into her back, he begins to mutter filth into her ear.
"Gonna squirt all over my cock, aren't you? I know you are. Can feel that pretty pussy squeezing me. Such a nasty little slut, hm? Just a pair of holes for daddy to use. Make it worth my time, baby. Get me all messy. You know I love it when you make a big mess."
In real life, her fingers begin to speed up. She moans from the delicious pressure on the swollen bundle of nerves, jaw dropping as she watches herself squirt all over Harry's cock, thighs, and bed. He chuckles on the screen, using his palm to rub her and spray the liquid to make even more of a mess.
"There's my fuckin' girl," he all but growls. She doesn't have a second to recuperate before he's pushing her onto his knees on the floor and pushing his cock into her mouth. "Lick up your mess. Slurp it all up."
She uses her other hand to push a finger into her hole, whimpering as she pushes up against her g-spot. 
"Gonna cum, sweetheart?" Harry asks from beside her. She nods jerkily, eyelashes fluttering as she begins to feel her muscles tense. He smirks. "Knew you'd like having a nasty little film of us. Go ahead, baby. Cum for us."
It doesn't take much for her to finish after that, not as she watches her past self throat Harry's hard cock. She mewls out his honorific and Harry talks her through it — “there you go baby, there it is— pretty little pussy coming all over your fingers. Oh, there it is, sweetheart. Play with your clit for me” — issuing out praises while he comes down her throat in the video. 
"Such a good girl for me." he murmurs, pressing a light, loving kiss to her cheek. "Feeling okay?"
Despite still being in the aftershocks of her intense orgasm, she nods. He smiles and leans forward to thumb at her bottom lip before gently pressing it inside. 
"Good. Think it's time we make another movie, then." 
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twogyuu · 30 days
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[924]
pairing: vernon x fem!reader
prompt: a grabs ahold of b's hand/arm just as the latter starts to turn away/etc.
genre: fluff, (newly) established relationship
warnings: none
wc: ~1.1k
a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a hot minute-
. . . .
There's a sharp ache in the side of your neck that wakes you as you felt the weight underneath your head that starts to shift and rock. Wincing and grimacing at the discomfort, you groggily try to sit up, pushing yourself into a sitting position, leveraging his thigh to steady yourself. Your death grip seems to awake your companion - what seemed like just slight adjustments in sleep evolving into a stretch and a satisfying crack of his back.
When your eyes finally adjust to the dimly lit room and you're slowly coming to your senses, you fumble for your phone on his scratched, oak coffee table with one of the legs loose, so it was a little wobbly. The overwashed navy blue fleece resting on your lap falls to the ground in the process, the table teetering ever so slightly as you slide the device off the surface.
12:43AM, reads the screen.
You inhale sharply, tossing your head back.
"What's up?" Vernon asks groggily, his voice husky with sleep. Using the heels of his hands, he adjusts himself to press up against the arm of the loveseat.
You chuckle half-heartedly, "We fell asleep watching TV." You gesture to the screen that had returned to the series list, the same preview playing over and over again in the upper right hand corner.
"Oops," Vernon mumbles lightly. He reaches for his water bottle and takes a quick swig to clear his throat.
"I should go," you tell him, starting to rise from your seat. You didn't think twice about it, to be frank. Yes, you've been dating for a few months now, but staying over was anything short of natural. You bend over the side of the couch, starting to search for your coat and bag you had tossed haphazardly on the floor early. You can hear Vernon rustling on the couch. The friction of his jeans brushing against the patterned surface of the hand-me-down couch from Seungcheol, the springs creaking under his weight.
Though you feel nonchalant, Vernon feels like the moment is sand slipping through his fingers - it's going all too fast and he can't think straight, yet he's grasping for each and every piece like his life depends on it.
Vernon's hand latches onto your wrist, the warmth of his finger tips seeping into your skin, prompting you to pause in your search and look back to him. He's leaned over on his knees, his other free hand propping himself up. His mouth fell agape; the light from the screen danced in the reflection of his dark hazel eyes, innocent, but somewhat serious.
There's a beat that passes before he utters a soft, "Wait."
You don't answer, only giving him your full attention and looking at him expectantly for him to ask his question.
"Do you wanna stay over?" he asks, "It's late."
This takes you by surprise because you have never not left his place during darker hours of the night before. He usually drove you back himself if you hadn't driven over - or if the both of you were too tired, he'd help pay for an Uber back (only because you refused to let him pay in full).
You chuckle nervously, defaulting to what you know best: teasing.
"Aw," you coo, leaning over to be closer to him. You slip your wrist out of his hold to let your fingers intertwine with his loosely. You joke lightheartedly, "Only if you miss me."
He doesn't hesitate to reply: "I do."
Your tongue dries, the snarky rounds of teases lodging in your throat.
The way your mischevious smile falls and your eyes darting away from him while blinking rapidly is all Vernon needs to know you were affected.
That was the thing about Vernon - perhaps if it was anyone else, they might have fallen into a fluster with your question, or at best, banter back. However, it wasn't in Vernon's nature to flirt and joke in such fashion. Times like this reminds you of that this was part of the reason you fell for him in the first place. He catches you off-guard, his straightforward nature somehow managing to make you flustered and skittish. Whether it's intentional or not, he knows the ins and outs of your little default flirting games, getting you to tell him what you really wanted, rather than dancing around it. His intentions were always clear.
"Stay?" Vernon asks again, already pulling you away from your stuff.
"A-are you sure?" you stammer, "We haven't . . . done this before."
"I'm sure," he tells you firmly. Quickly, he adds to reassure you, "There's a first time for everything."
"I don't have my pajamas or anything," you argue weakly.
"You can borrow some of my sweats and t-shirts."
"Oh," you look away bashfully. It wasn't even a scandalous request, yet it still feels so intimate, it makes you shy.
He gives you a moment to collect yourself, before giving your hand a quick squeeze again.
"So?" he asks softly. "If you really feel that weird about it-"
"It's fine," you cut him off quickly. You let out a deep breath, not wanting this moment to slip out of your hands because you were being squeamish.
"You're nervous, aren't you?" he challenges. You don't bother to look at him, but you knew, he was grinning - you could practically hear the way his lips creak up into a wide smile at your fidgeting.
"I-I'm just . . . you know," your voice trails off, finally having enough courage to look up at him.
"I don't know, actually," Vernon pushes on.
He waits patiently for your answer. The moment growing more awkward as the seconds pass by. The antique clock Seungkwan got at the garage sale two blocks away ticking away in the background making it known that you were taking a rather long time to answer what was supposed to be a simple question.
"I'll stay," you finally relent quietly.
"Was it that hard to say?" He brushes his thumbs across your knuckles once before letting go. Indeed, you were equally straightforward when the time was right, but feelings, particularly romantic ones, weren't one of them. Heck, after almost three months of what he'd like to think was mutual pining, it took Wonwoo (voluntarily by his own will for the record - Vernon would never force you to do this) cornering you after work and personally delivering you hostage to Vernon at his apartment (a story for another time).
"Yes," you mumble.
He plants a chaste kiss on your temple. You could feel him smiling into it. "I'll go get you something to wear."
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munson-blurbs · 7 months
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Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!Reader Series
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19
Summary: A trip to the thrift store becomes overwhelming for Harris, and you and Eddie have to work as a team. But the real test of your relationship's strength is the crisis that unfolds days later.
Warnings: financial insecurity, school lock-in, missing child, police presence, mention of kidnapping, mention of drug addiction, blood (no gore)
WC: 8.5k
Chapter 19/20
Divider credit to @saradika
Eddie has already been awake for two hours when the phone rings. One part of parenthood that he hadn’t anticipated is that children do not understand the concept of weekends. Harris had flung himself out of his racecar bed promptly at 6:30 in the morning, crawling under Eddie’s sheets and poking his nose until he woke up.
“Har, go back to sleep,” Eddie had grumbled, the last word extended in a whine. One cheek was smushed against his pillow, muffling his complaint. “It’s Saturday; you don’t have school.”
In response, Harris pursed his lips into a perfect pout and used his thumb to peel Eddie’s eyelid open, getting as close to his face as possible. His morning breath was tinged with the scent of chocolate; Eddie groggily made a mental note to better supervise his nighttime teeth brushing routine. 
“‘M hungry.”
That’s how Eddie finds himself pouring his third cup of coffee while his son keeps his eyes glued to the TV screen, watching Doug stutter and stammer in front of Patti. Eddie smiles, a blush creeping into his cheeks when he realizes that that’s probably what he looks like around you.
“‘Lo?” He cradles the receiver between his ear and his shoulder, wincing as he clumsily clinks the carafe into place. There isn’t enough coffee left to slosh over the side, a small miracle in and of itself, although he’ll have to brew some more if the caffeine doesn’t kick in soon.
“Hey, baby.” Your voice is sleepy yet sweet, smoothing all the creases of the morning. “Did I wake you up?”
Eddie laughs and takes a sip from his favorite mug, the one that proudly declares #1 Dad. It’s stained and chipped, but he’ll never throw it out. Wayne had bought it for him on his very first Father’s Day; ironically, Eddie had bought him a #1 Grandpa mug that year, probably from the same kiosk at the mall.
“Not even close,” he says, tongue flicking to the corner of his lip to catch the drip of coffee that’s pooled in the crevice. “Someone was up bright and early this morning.” His gaze flits over to the bowl of Cheerios snug between Harris’s criss-crossed legs, mostly uneaten despite his earlier protests that would make an outsider believe he was starving. “How was your sleep?” he asks, swinging back to your conversation.
You switch the phone from one ear to the other. “It was good. Would’ve been better if you were next to me, though,” you add, twirling the cord around your forefinger. If you could, you would capture the safety of his embrace and bottle it, releasing a bit each time you craved his gentle touch. “I might’ve even let you be the little spoon.”
He balks at this with a playful scoff, nearly spilling his coffee with the sudden movement. “Yeah, right,” he chuckles, licking the side of the mug before the bitter liquid can slide off and hit the ground. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”
Admittedly, his skepticism is rooted in truth; whenever you do get the chance to cuddle in bed, he’s always the one wrapping his arm around your waist, often taking the opportunity to snake a hand up your shirt and let the pads of his fingers brush over your breasts. It isn’t always a display of sexuality or desire–though you can’t say you mind that–but a connection, a way of ensuring that you stay close. 
“Just a few more weeks until we get to find out for ourselves,” you tease, though he needs no reminding. Only sixteen days remain until you officially move in together, and he’s not ashamed to admit that he’s counting down. “Speaking of which,” you continue, glancing at the clock, “I was wondering if you and Harris wanted to do some furniture shopping for his new room.” You knew that he would be keeping his racecar bed; it’s unlikely he’ll part with it until he’s outgrown it completely. “Y’know, a new dresser or nightstand or something.”
There’s an extended pause on Eddie’s side of the line. You think the call dropped and are about to hang up and redial when you hear him say,  “I, um…I don’t get paid until next week…” He nervously scratches the countertop with one fingernail. 
“Oh.” You grapple with a response, trying to strike a balance of empathy without condescension. “Well, I was going to surprise you, but I sold some of Grandma’s old—”
“No way,” Eddie interjects, firmly but not harshly. “I’m not having you spend your money on me. We can just wait until payday.”
“I want to buy this for Harris. I…I probably should have cleared out Grandma’s room months ago, but I couldn’t. I mean, I could, but it felt wrong because I had nothing to put in its place.” You don’t care that you’re babbling on, forging ahead with your impromptu monologue. “It would’ve been too empty, but with you and Harris here, it won’t be empty anymore.”
Eddie tucks his thumbnail between his teeth. “Are you sure?” he prods, not wanting to sound ungrateful. 
“Positive.” You’re much more assured in your reply. “If she knew Harris before she got sick, she would’ve spoiled the hell out of him, anyway.” The moment she saw him happily digging into the Oreos, she would have ensured that the cupboard remained stocked with Double Stuf. “In a way, s’like she gets to spoil him now.”
You can sense Eddie’s resistance tempering with an audible exhale. “He’s an easy kid to love, that’s for sure,” he muses, buying time to process the influx of emotions flooding his body. There’s the obvious gratitude that you’re so eager to take care of his son, but it’s cut with the insecurity of him not being able to do so. If you’re going to buy Harris furniture, it should be because you want to, not because he can’t. What if you hold this against him? What if, in the future, there’s an argument and you fire back with a retort about his shortcomings as a father?
Except…you have never done that. Ever. Not that night in the emergency room, or when you’d found out about the CPS report filed that evening. Not even when Eddie had made it his personal mission to tear you down, pulling insults from the depths and hurling them at you with reckless abandon. 
You hadn’t brought up the way he’d helplessly panicked when confronted with the possibility of Harris’s learning disability, or how he’d let anxiety overtake him when he officially received a classification. With everything the two of you had endured, you’d never once echoed his anxieties about his parenting abilities; it was quite the opposite. With you by his side, he feels as though he can take on whatever challenge life chucks at him. 
“Eds? Is everything okay?” Your tone is thick with concern; Eddie realizes that you probably think you’ve upset him. “We don’t have to go—we can do something else, or—”
“Sweet girl,” he says in one exhale, both to reassure you and to remind himself that you’re his, and he’s yours. Love surges through the phone lines when he speaks. “We can pick you up in an hour, if that works? I should be able to wrangle Harris by then.”
“Y’sure?” And, Christ, how his heart sinks when you shrink inward, reflexively making yourself smaller when you’re worried that you’ve offended someone.
Eddie doesn’t answer you directly, instead, calls out his son’s name. “Hey, Harris?” He frowns when Harris completely ignores him in favor of watching the cartoon. Using his free hand, he cups his mouth in a makeshift megaphone, amplifying his voice. “Harris Wayne Munson!”
The sudden sound jolts him out of his TV-induced stupor. “Huh?” 
“Go get dressed and brush your teeth; we’re gonna go shopping with Ms. Sweetheart!” Eddie grins as Harris turns to him with a wide smile of his own. “C’mon, let’s go!” 
Harris jumps up without further hesitation, inadvertently tossing his bowl from the makeshift table of his legs. Milk splatters, instantly soaking into the carpet, and the Cheerios topple out and land in a soggy pile. “Nooo, my bref-ist!” His big eyes well up with tears. “Daddy, you made me drop my bref-ist!”
“You, uh, wanna deal with that?” You can’t hide your amusement at the usual Munson chaos. 
“Probably should, huh?” Eddie jokes back, stretching the phone cord as far as he can and reaching for the paper towel roll. “I love you, babe. See you in a bit.”
“I love you, Eds,” you tell him. “And Harris, too, of course.”
Some more static and shuffling; then, an energetic voice greets you. “Hi Ms. Sweetheart! Daddy made me drop my bref-ist,” the little boy reports. 
“I’m sorry to hear that, Har.” You’ve perfected the art of mustering up sympathy for children’s not-soearth-shattering issues, a skill that every preschool teacher must possess. “Why don’t you help him clean up? That way, I can see you even faster.”
Harris pauses, mulling over his options. “Yeah, okay! Gotta go! Bye!”
You hear the clunk of him struggling to replace the phone on the hook, followed by Eddie saying, “Let me say good-bye before you hang—” click. 
Pulling your own receiver from your ear, you stare at it with mild amusement. Never a dull moment with my boys. 
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Your boys drive up to your building just over an hour later. You stand up from the bench outside the entrance and smooth down your shorts where they’ve creased. 
“Hey, Sweetheart.” Eddie lets the pet name roll off of his tongue. He wants to kiss you as you slide into the passenger seat, but he withholds his affection for Harris’s sake. It seems silly, considering you’ll all be living together, but he doesn’t know how his son will react to the romance aspect of it. Will he be happy? Excited? Disgusted by any display of affection?
You give his hand a subtle squeeze, turning around to greet Harris. “Ready to shop till we drop?”
“Till we drop?” Harris wrinkles his nose, glancing between you and his dad. “Why would we drop?”
“It’s just an expression,” you explain, catching a glimpse of the smile tugging at the corners of Eddie’s mouth. “Just means that we’re going to shop until we’re too tired to shop anymore.”
“I never get tired,” Harris declares, sticking his legs straight out so his flexed feet push up against the back of the driver’s seat, nudging Eddie slightly forward. “Grampa Wayne calls me an ‘Energizer Bunny.’” He bounces up and down in his booster seat to prove his point.
Eddie reaches his right arm around, keeping his left firmly gripping the wheel, as he moves Harris’s feet from where they’re planted into his lower back. “So, Har,” he starts, easing his weight onto the brake as he approaches a red light, “we’re gonna look for a new dresser for you, and maybe a nightstand.” He takes a deep breath as he delivers the news: “That means we’re not making any pit stops for toys. Got it?”
You want to interject, to let Eddie know that you don’t mind splurging on a small treat for Harris, but you bite it back. Whether or not you have the spare funds is irrelevant: this is the boundary he’s set for his son, and you have to respect it, regardless of your desire to spoil him.
Harris, however, does not accept the announcement as readily. “Not even, like, a little one?” he presses, holding his thumb and forefinger a millimeter apart. “Even if I’m really, really good?” He gives a hopeful smile, eyes blinking expectantly.
Eddie looks at you, serving as your cue to provide your input. You nod your approval, trying to hide your delight in being asked to make a parenting decision, regardless of how menial it may seem. He peers up through the rearview mirror at his son’s waiting face. “If you’re really, really good,” he acquiesces, features pinching into a grimace when Harris’s exuberant squeal echoes through the sedan. “You have to use your inside voice and stay next to us the whole time. Deal?”
“Deal,” Harris confirms. “Deal, Ms. Sweetheart?”
“Deal.” Laughter bubbles up inside you and you let it spill out uninhibited. You know that telling a child he can get a toy is an easy part of parenthood, but you silently swear to never take for granted being included in that choice. Harris joins you, though he’s not quite sure why he’s laughing, but your joy is contagious. 
You lean your head against the car window, listening to the buzz of the radio filling the silence. Harris hums along, more on-key than the average five-year-old, which you can safely attribute to him having a musician for a dad.
“I’m not getting a new bed, right?” Harris says with sudden urgency. “Because I wanna keep my racecar bed.”
“Mhm,” you affirm, smiling when Harris relaxes back against the headrest. “Your racecar bed will be in your new room, don’t you worry.”
“Okay.” That response satisfies him until he thinks up another question. “An’ you’re bringing your bed, Daddy?”
Eddie chuckles as he pulls into the Goodwill parking lot. He picks a spot close to the store, right next to a green Ford with a faded “Clinton ‘96” bumper sticker. “Um, no. I’m not bringing my bed.” 
“So are you getting a new bed?” His eyes dart from side to side as he assesses the size of the car. “Where’s it gonna fit?”
“I’m, uh, not buying a new bed, either.” Eddie kills the engine and unbuckles his seatbelt, swiveling to face Harris, who is more confused than ever. “Ms. Sweetheart and I are going to share her bed.”
Harris kicks his feet, processing this new information. “But you didn’t get married yet,” he points out, “so how can you share a bed?”
You rest your palm on Eddie’s forearm in quiet reassurance. “Some people share a bed before they get married,” you explain simply, knowing that less is often more when talking to young children.
“When are you gonna get married?” he asks, more curious than meddling. “Because it’s taking forever. My friends’ mommies and daddies are already married.”
Eddie doesn’t acknowledge the fact that Harris essentially referred to you as his mommy; instead, he slowly exhales. “I’d like to marry Ms. Sweetheart someday, and I think she’d like to marry me, too.” He looks over at you with a sheepish grin, and you give his hand an agreeing squeeze. “But, for now, we’re just going to try out living together. How does that sound?”
“I guess that’s okay.” Harris isn’t completely thrilled with his dad’s response, but he relents anyway.
“While, we’re, uh, on the subject,” Eddie continues, the tips of his ears flushing pink as he carefully considers his words. He chews on the inside of his lower lip. Is he really doing this? Is he opening his son up to this relationship? “You know that Ms. Sweetheart and I love each other very much, right?”
“Mhm.”
“Sometimes,” Eddie continues with only some trepidation, “sometimes, when grown-ups love each other a lot, they hold hands o-or kiss. Would that be weird for you? If Ms. Sweetheart and I held hands, or kissed?”
You avert your gaze, partly from bashfulness but mostly so Harris doesn’t feel any pressure from either of you. 
The little boy looks at the car’s ceiling, centering his focus on the overhead lighting. Finally, with utmost certainty, he declares, “just no tongue-kissing.”
You snort out a laugh while Eddie goes bright red and sputters, “where did you learn about that?”
“Young and Restless,” Harris reports nonchalantly. 
Eddie rubs his eyes, pressing his thumb and forefinger to his lids until his vision blurs. “Remind me to tell Wayne to stop letting him watch the soaps,” he grumbles to you, turning back to his son. “Yeah, no tongue-kissing.”
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You easily lace your fingers with Eddie’s as you walk through the front doors of the Goodwill. Harris starts making a beeline for the toys, but Eddie uses his free hand to pivot him in the direction of the furniture department. Harris huffs but complies, trudging alongside you. 
There’s a bright blue nightstand on display that immediately catches his eye. “Look!” he points, smiling so wide that all of his baby teeth are on display, “can I get it? Please?”
Eddie smiles warily, flipping over the white tag hanging from one silver drawer handle. He breathes a small sigh of relief when he sees the price is within the range of what he’d like to spend; rather, what he’d be comfortable asking you to spend. 
“Looks like we’ve got a winner,” he says, posture straightening with the announcement. He runs his fingertips over the surface, checking for any chipping paint or splintering wood, but the finish appears to be intact. “I’ll go tell someone to set it aside for us.”
He sets off in search of an employee, leaving you alone with Harris. You swallow the nervousness building in your throat. You spend nearly every day taking care of children, but you’re suddenly inundated with the memory of losing him at the flea market. Those few minutes when you couldn’t locate him were some of the scariest of your life. 
And yet, it hadn’t prevented Eddie from giving you another chance.
“Are you excited to move in with me, Har?” you ask, reaching out to ruffle his curls.
He nods, then looks straight up at you so that you’re staring at his nostrils. “Ms. Sweetheart?” The position of his neck changes his voice’s pitch so it’s froggy. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Can you marry my daddy?” His eyes shine with potential. “And then you can be my mommy for real?”
You crouch down to his height, heart melting at his request. “Harris, I love your daddy very, very much. And I love you very, very much, too.” You poke his nose gently, and he giggles. “Being married is a big responsibility—”
“‘Sponsibility?”
“Mhm. Responsibility. It means a really important job.” You slide your heart pendant across the chain on your neck anxiously. “And your daddy and I want to make sure that we’re ready for that kind of responsibility before we do anything, okay?”
Harris nods, but you can tell from his crinkled nose and furrowed brows that he doesn’t fully understand. You can’t blame him; it’s an abstract concept, one that even you often have trouble comprehending. “But I can tell you one thing: whenever your daddy wants to propose, I’ll say ‘yes.’” You smile at the thought of Eddie asking you to be his wife. 
“Is that where he gets down on one knee and asks ‘Will you marry me?’” You’re about to respond when he adds, “and then someone runs in and yells about being their long-lost ‘dentical twin?”
Yeah, no more soap operas for Harris. 
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Finding a dresser proves to be a much more difficult task than picking out the nightstand. Everything that Harris likes is out of budget, and everything within budget is too worn down or small. There’s one that’s in good condition and isn’t too pricey, but it’s covered in hand-painted unicorns. 
“That’s for girls!” Harris groans, stomping his feet. The last word is stretched in a whine. “I can’t have girl stuff!”
“We can paint over it. Whatever color you want,” you quickly jump in, trying to avoid a meltdown, but your efforts are fruitless. Fat tears stream down his cheeks; he’s already determined that the dresser is tainted. 
“No! No, no, no!” he howls, throwing himself on the floor. He smacks down on his tailbone, fanning his tantrum’s flames. He quiets for a moment, too shocked to cry, but then he’s screaming louder than before. 
It’s as though he’s lost control of his body, arms and legs knocking into the lower shelves without care. You can’t block him in time before he knocks over a lamp—a Nickelodeon-themed one that would have been perfect in his new room, ironically—and it shatters on the ground. Ceramic splinters, scattering across the linoleum like roaches in the light. 
People start to stare, some with sympathetic looks, and some glare angrily at the child daring to interrupt their shopping. Eddie’s face blazes, vision swimming as he wracks his brain for a solution. 
You’re faster, slapping a few bills into Eddie’s palm and jolting him from his thoughts. He watches you scoop Harris off of the floor, trying to avoid his flailing limbs. 
“Go get the nightstand and pay for the lamp,” you tell him, straightforward and precise. “I’ll get him to the car and calm him down. Keys?”
Eddie blinks, the information swirling around him but not quite penetrating the surface. It’s when you hoist Harris onto one hip and balance his weight in one hand, using the other to make a ‘gimme’ motion that it registers. 
“Y-Yeah, sorry.” Eddie fumbles for the car keys and tosses them to you, the two of you working in tandem. A well-oiled machine. You nod gratefully, wincing as Harris’s foot makes contact with your thigh. “I’ll be right out.”
You’re able to bring him to the car, struggling to unlock it and hold on to Harris. After a few failed attempts, you manage to open the passenger door and sit him on the seat. 
“Harris, hey, Harris?” you start, keeping your voice soft and even while trying to pull his attention. His sobs are slowing down but he’s definitely breathing too rapidly for your comfort. “Hey, bud. You’re okay, all right?” You extend your hand and he tentatively places his own palm on top of it. “You wanna give my hand a squeeze?”
He does it, the motion grounding him enough that he can focus on your body in front of him. You don’t want to touch him, knowing that his senses are already overstimulated from the tantrum. Instead, you relax as his squeezing grows stronger and his breaths gradually even out. 
“There ya go, Har. Just like that.” You smile warmly. “That was a really big feeling, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” His voice shakes and hiccups. He swipes at the tears on his cheeks, smudging them into his skin. 
You reach into the center console and grab a tissue, wiping the mucus from his nose and lips. “Good as new.” With no trashcan nearby, you shove the used Kleenex into your pants pocket. “Can you tell me what made you so mad in there?”
“D-Don’t want girl…girl st-stuff,” he stutters through ragged breaths. 
There’s a time and place to discuss the optics of categorizing interests into ‘boy’ and ‘girl,’ but you know better than to have that conversation now. “Oof, that’s why you were angry! That’s a lot to handle.” You gingerly tuck a curl behind his ear. “But, Harris, did you see what happened when you started hitting and kicking?” He shakes his head. “Well, you knocked over a lamp and it broke. You could have gotten hurt, or someone else could have gotten hurt.” 
Harris’s face falls as you speak, absorbing what you’re explaining. “I-I didn’t mean to,” he sniffles. “‘M sorry.”
“I know you didn’t mean to,” you sigh, “sometimes, when we have big feelings like getting angry, we do things we shouldn’t without even realizing.” You pause for a moment, biting your lip as you consider your words. “Do you want to hear what helps me when I have really big feelings and I can’t scream and cry?”
“Mhm.” He nods again, little tongue peeking out to swipe up the tears above his mouth. 
“I take a deep breath and close my eyes,” you start, demonstrating both actions. Inhale for three, exhale for three, and repeat. “And then I picture myself being in my favorite place in the world.” You smile at him, blinking back the sadness that comes with memories of holidays at Grandma’s. “Wanna try it together?”
Harris responds by closing his eyes and breathing in slowly. “Good job, Har,” you softly praise him. “Now breathe out; make sure you’re thinking of your favorite place, okay?”
“Thinkin’ about the zoo,” he whispers, voice raspy from shrieking for so long. “Daddy taked me there and we saw so much animals.”
“Zoos are a lot of fun,” you agree with a laugh. “I’ve never been to the one in Hawkins. Maybe we can go over the summer?”
“Yeah! I wanna show you the flamingos!” His grin stretches across his cheeks “Do you like flamingos?”
Like most people, you don’t have a strong opinion on flamingos, but you respond with an enthusiastic, “I love them!”
“Love who?” Eddie’s voice breaks into the conversation. He’s rolling out the nightstand in a cart, keeping one hand on top of it to hold it steady. “Me?”
You laugh, opening up the back door so he can wedge the furniture next to Harris’s booster seat. “Yes, Eddie. I love you very much, don’t worry,” you tease, seizing the opportunity to inconspicuously check him out. His biceps flex as he maneuvers the nightstand, and you have to tear your gaze from his denim-clad ass when he stands up and triumphantly wipes his hands on his pants. 
“C’mere.” He pulls you in, pursing his lips in an exaggerated pout and planting a smacking kiss on you. 
While you giggle, Harris is not as amused. He claps his hands over his eyes and groans. 
“No tongue-kissing!”
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You’re wrapping up storytime, your students fidgeting with their shoelaces—some fidgeting with their friend’s shoelaces—eager to move onto the corresponding art activity Will has planned. 
“Okay, we’re going to use our walking—” Your announcement is cut short by Principal Sinclair’s voice coming over the loudspeaker. Her tone is typically warm and excited, but the way she speaks so sternly sends chills through your entire body. 
“This is a lock-in. All staff and students must remain in their classrooms until notified. I repeat, all staff and students must remain in their classrooms until notified.”
You breathe out, though you’re still concerned about the cause of the lock-in. It’s usually some kind of medical issue that requires emergency services to have unblocked access through the halls. You hope that whatever it is isn’t life-threatening. 
Will locks the door wordlessly, and you repeat your directions to the class. The kids walk to their seats, asking non-stop about what a lock-in means. 
“We just have to stay in the classroom,” you find yourself repeating, losing patience with each iteration. You’re thankful for small miracles; your class has already gone out for recess, which means you don’t have to break that news to them. 
Will is helping the kids glue multicolored strands of crepe paper in the shape of a rainbow, complete with cotton ball clouds. You’re unclogging a bottle of Elmer’s when the classroom phone rings, startling you. You place the glue bottle on the table, promising Joshua that you’ll be right back, and answer it. 
“Hello?”
“We need you to come to the office immediately,” the secretary’s clipped voice informs you. “Bring your personal items. We’ll send someone to assist Will.”
Stupidly, you nod before remembering she can’t see you. “Y-Yes, of course. I’ll be right there.” You hang up, tell Will the plan, and bolt out the door. 
What the hell is going on? Why are they having me break the lock-in to go to the office? You hike your purse higher up your shoulder, trying to ignore the dread pooling in your stomach and creeping up your throat. 
Something is wrong. Something is really, really wrong. 
Your feet can’t carry you fast enough. You nearly stop breathing when you see Eddie pacing in the lobby, Marion and Paula standing off to the side and speaking with Chief Hopper. The two teachers wear matching worried expressions. 
As soon as Eddie spots you, he’s charging over. “Oh, thank God,” he murmurs, throwing his arms around you and hugging you tight. You can feel the tears falling from his eyes, wetting the crook of your neck. His hands squeeze against your back and your shoulder blades as his body is wracked with sobs. 
You weave your fingers through his hair, holding him as close as you can. You’re desperate to know what’s going on, but you doubt he could explain if he tried. Instead, you continue comforting him while Principal Sinclair walks over. 
Her strides are long and purposeful, and she meets your own terrified gaze with her own. “Harris went missing during recess,” she says quietly, “and Mr. Munson let us know that you might be an asset in locating him.”
Harris went missing. Bile inches up your esophagus and you swallow it, wincing at its burn. “Why would he—” You stop mid-sentence; his motive is not important right now. All of your focus needs to be on finding him. 
Chief Hopper approaches you and Eddie, tapping your boyfriend on the shoulder with two fingers. Eddie looks up, wipes his face with the heel of his palm, and clears his throat, but a fresh batch of tears threatens to spill over anyway. 
“We’ve just collected statements from his teachers,” Hopper reports, looking down at his notepad. “They said that nothing seemed out of the ordinary, that Harris was just playing with his friends one moment and then gone the next.”
“No,” Eddie shakes his head. “No, something had to have happened.” Harris had wandered off plenty of times, like at the flea market. The difference was that he was easily found. “If you haven’t found him, then he’s either hiding, or someone…” The thought is too painful to finish. 
Hopper looks over at the principal. “You’re certain that the playground is secure?” He asks her, not accusing, but waiting for confirmation. 
“Yes, absolutely secure,” she affirms, nodding her head. “The gate can only be opened from the inside, so no one can access it off of the street.”
You know this, of course, but it doesn't bring you closer to finding Harris. 
“We’ve taped off the playground,” Hopper continues, “and we’ve got a search squad going now. Considering that Harris has been diagnosed with a disability, we’re beginning this investigation right away.”
“Mr. Munson,” a second officer chimes in, “is there anyone who would be inclined to take your son? Perhaps a non-custodial parent or an estranged relative?”
Eddie’s blood runs cold. “His mom, um, isn’t in the picture. Never has been.”
Hopper cocks one brow. “Never?” he asks disbelievingly. “How soon after he was born did she relinquish her rights?”
“She, um,” Eddie swallows, rubbing his nose in embarrassment, “she never did. Never relinquished her rights, I mean. She just kinda split.”
“So there was no formal agreement that she could no longer be involved in Harris’s life?”
“N-No,” he stammers, shame seeping from every pore. He’d always meant to start the legal proceedings, but that takes time and money…and maybe a small part of him had always hoped she’d come around and do the right thing. 
He looks over at you now, the way you’ve stepped into a mothering role like a puzzle piece. Like any parent, you’d made some mistakes, but you’re also the most compassionate person Eddie has ever known. 
He thinks of the times he’d tried to make his ex get clean, to want to get clean, and to be there for Harris. The weight of disappointment caused his chest to ache every time she’d mumble, “I’m gonna, but not right now” or “I don’t need help.”
Perhaps it’s unfair to compare the two of you; after all, you hadn’t struggled with addiction. But Eddie can’t help himself. You’d loved Harris before you’d even loved him, he realizes. And he’d never had to ask you to. 
“Do you have any contact information for her?” Hopper taps his pen against his notepad. “Nine out of ten times in these situations, the child is with someone they know.”
What about the ‘one’ time? What happens then? Heat pulses in Eddie’s cheeks, sweat beading on his forehead. He doesn’t need Hopper to answer the question; he already knows what that means. 
“It’s from five years ago, so I don’t know if it’s still accurate.” He stumbles over his words, thinking about the last time he’d called her; it was the invitation to Harris’s birthday. “I don’t know it by heart, but I have it in my address book at home.”
Hopper gives a brusque nod to his colleague and to your boss. “We’ll give you a lift. And, uh, it’ll be good to set up your place as a home base.”
“Yeah, yeah, right,” Eddie mumbles, simply going through the motions without processing them. He’s on autopilot, a robotic version of himself. If he was able to fully absorb his surroundings, he would note the irony of him sitting in the back of the cop car because they’re helping him instead of escorting him to the county jail. 
You don’t let go of his hand the entire ride there, your thumb rubbing the soft hairs on his knuckles. “We’re gonna find him,” you whisper reassuringly, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. 
But Eddie is too embroiled in his own thoughts, imagining every possible tragedy that could have befallen his son. As soon as Hopper pulls up to the apartment complex, Eddie is flying up the stairs, two at a time, unlocking the door as fast as he can. You run in behind him, watching as he flings loose papers and pens from a kitchen drawer. He’s kicked over the boxes he’s already packed; clothes and some of Harris’s toys are scattered across the floor like a poorly-designed booby-trap. 
He holds up the tattered black book, flipping through it until he lands on the right page. “Here. Right here.” He frantically points to an entry at the top, fingertip jabbing into it over and over. 
Hopper takes the book from him, careful not to rip the already weathered materials. He dials the digits and frowns when he’s greeted by the automated we’re sorry, this number is no longer in service, far too chipper for the circumstances. He tries once more in case he dialed incorrectly, but he gets the same message. 
“Disconnected,” he says gruffly, hanging the receiver with a clank. “Is there anyone else?”
Eddie can only shake his head somberly. If Wayne got Harris from school early, he would have told him. He wasn’t even sure how much of Harris’s maternal family knew of his existence, let alone his location. If someone took his son, it was more than likely a complete stranger. 
Hopper’s walkie crackles with static; you and Eddie stiffen with anticipation. “Hey, Chief?” comes from the garbled voice on the other end. 
“I’m here.”
“We’ve got a kid here at the school who says he spoke with Harris Munson right before he went missing today.”
Eddie stands up, walking closer to Hopper. Part of you expects him to grab the walkie and try talking straight to the other officer, but he doesn’t. 
Hopper presses the small black button and speaks. “Copy. Does he know where we might locate him?”
There’s a deafening silence for a few moments; no more than ten seconds pass, but it feels like a lifetime. Finally, there’s some information: “No known location; just says that Harris told him he was having ‘big feelings’ and needed to go to his favorite place.’”
“The zoo,” you murmur aloud, drawing confused looks from both men in the room. “When he got upset on Saturday—at Goodwill—I taught him to do some deep breathing and picture being in his favorite place, and he told me it was the zoo. But I…” you swallow, furrowing your brows, “I told him to picture it, not actually go there.”
“Zoo’s too far for him to walk, and no bus driver is going to let a kid that young ride by himself,” the chief points out. 
You nod, biting your lower lip. “He might not be at the zoo, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t trying to get there.”
Hopper thanks the other officer and turns to you and Eddie. My guys are deploying the search party as we speak.” He takes a deep breath and makes direct eye contact with you and Eddie. “We’ll do everything we can to bring your son back safely.”
Eddie buries his head in his hands, collapsing back against the living room wall and sliding down to the floor. 
You look over at the police chief. “Can we help? Join the search…or something?” Anything besides sitting around and waiting for answers. 
“Absolutely. We’ll keep an officer stationed here in case Harris comes home.” 
You nudge your foot against Eddie’s. “C’mon, babe.” You try to keep strength behind your words, to be what Eddie needs right now, but it gets harder with each passing second. “We’re gonna go look for him.” He looks up and notices that you’ve extended your hand, and he takes it, pulling himself up. 
He doesn’t say a word, but he follows you and Hopper out the door. He’s gnawing on his lips so violently that some skin peels off between his teeth; flecks of blood dotting his usually perfect mouth. 
“We’ve got some time before sunset, so that’s on our side,” Hopper says as he drives back the way he came. “We’ll start in the woods near the school, and we’ll move from there.” He peers back at the two of you through the rearview mirror with a determined gaze.
“My uncle,” Eddie says suddenly, no certain expression on his face. He’s practically catatonic when he talks. “I want Wayne to wait at the apartment. I need to tell him…” If Harris does return home first and sees police officers surrounding the place, he might get scared and run off again.
Hopper scratches at his beard. “We’ll let him know, all right? Don’t worry about that.” He radios the instructions to a colleague, who confirms them and signs off, before pulling into a grassy area and killing the engine. “Let’s go. If Harris is going to come out for anyone, it’ll be you two.” He slams his door and then helps you and Eddie out of the backseat. 
Before you can even begin, you hear a group of people shouting Eddie’s name. You look over to see Jeff, Jess, and Robin waving and walking towards you. 
“We came as soon as we heard,” Robin says, giving you and Eddie a hug. “We’re gonna help you, and we’re not leaving until we find him.”
Jeff offers a tight smile, one hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “We’re here for you man,” he promises, sincerity in its purest form. “Viv is gonna stop by later and I’ll take care of Ettie.”
It’s a kind gesture, but Eddie’s stomach sours at the thought of still searching later. He needs to know that his son is safe now. 
Harris’s name is echoed over and over, bouncing off of trees and shaking the leaves as you and your friends call out for him. 
“Harris!” you cry out, throat raw from your constant shouting. “Harris, it’s Ms. Sweetheart!”
“Harris!” Eddie’s voice is even louder than yours; the power behind it is palpable. “Harris, it’s Daddy! Please come out! You’re not in trouble!” he adds, cognizant of the little boy’s fear of making people mad. 
Every squirrel that darts across the forest floor has you whipping your head around, heart leaping at the prospect of Harris emerging from where he’s hiding. 
He has to be hiding; your mind won’t let you imagine what could happen if the wrong person saw him walking by himself, determined to get to the zoo…
“Harris, Aunt Robin and I will buy you any toy you want!” Jess yells. “And all the ice cream you can eat!”
The five of you take turns making promises to nobody; they’re secrets shared with the wind. Each unanswered call leaves you feeling more defeated, especially with the sun hanging lower in the sky. It will be dark soon, leaving Harris even more vulnerable than he already is.
Will joins the group a few moments later, bringing granola bars, water, and flashlights. You can only stomach about a quarter of your snack, having completely lost your appetite. Eddie doesn’t even bother to eat, fueled by adrenaline rather than food.
“Principal Sinclair is also looking,” Will tells you and Eddie. “She’s with Lucas and Erica over at Merrill Wright’s farm. It’s closer than the zoo, but he’s got some animals, so they wanted to check there.” He pauses, casting his eyes down for a second before looking at Eddie. “Everyone’s helping out with this. They all want to find Harris.”
Tears well up along Eddie’s lash line; he blinks them away to keep his vision clear. “Thanks, man.” He coughs to clear his throat, emotions forcing their way through. “That means a lot.” For a moment, he sees Will as he was when they first met: an overwhelmed little freshman, unsure of his place in high school, let alone in the world.
What if Harris never gets the chance to find himself? What if he doesn’t get to grow up and learn new things, make his own mistakes, figure out who he is?
You put an arm around Eddie, unknowingly pulling him from his intrusive thoughts. “Can you try to drink some water? Please?” You know better than to nag him about eating right now, but the last thing he needs is to get dehydrated.
He cracks open the bottle and takes a few sips, not realizing how thirsty he was until the liquid covers his tongue. He downs it all without taking a breath, the plastic crinkling as he siphons out every last drop of water.
“Take mine,” you tell him, offering it with the best smile you can possibly muster, but he shakes his head.
“You need it, too.” He’s not wrong, but you have no issue letting him drink from your bottle if he’s still thirsty.
You take a sip and pass it to him. “We’ll share.”
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Another hour passes, the pink and orange hues becoming deeper purples and reds as the sky darkens with night. Some people start to call it quits, returning home to their own children, breathing secret sighs of relief that they have children to return home to. Your group remains intact; no one is even considering leaving until they physically cannot move any longer.
With just overworked flashlight bulbs illuminating your path, you continue trudging through the woods. Hopper’s shift was over hours ago, but he’s steadfast in his pursuit to find Harris.
Eddie’s exhausted physically and emotionally, feeling like every part of him has been drained and can never be replenished. His son is missing; he might have been kidnapped, and he doesn’t know if or when he’ll see him again. All he wants is to hold him again, to hear his little laugh as he tells a cheesy joke he learned at school, to watch him sound out new words or draw a picture or just fall asleep in his own bed.
Hopper’s walkie crackles; he clutches it tight and holds it so he can hear it clearly.
“Chief, we may have a sighting.”
A light flickers behind Eddie’s eyes; he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but he can’t help himself. He listens intently as the other officer relays the information.
“Doris Driscoll just went outside to let her cats in for the night, and when they didn’t go inside, she went looking. Found them behind a bush, eating crackers out of a little boy’s hands. He told her his name is Harris. Matches the descriptions the father provided.”
Eddie grabs your hand, gripping it with whatever strength he has left. You feel a surge course through your veins as Hopper motions for you to follow him to his car. He turns on his siren and guns it down the road, swerving in and out of traffic to get to the old woman’s house as fast as he can.
Please, please let him be here, you silently pray, subconsciously screwing your eyes shut and holding your breath. The only thing worse than not knowing where he is might just be a false alarm that he’s been found. 
Hopper slams on the brakes behind an ambulance parked in front of the Driscoll residence, their open doors allowing the fluorescent lights to stream through. Eddie watches, wide-eyed, as an EMT wheels a stretcher over to it. 
A stretcher carrying Harris. 
“Harris!” Eddie cries in simultaneous relief, exuberance, and fear. He instinctively reaches for a door handle, quickly remembering that he’s in a cop car and had to wait for Hopper to let him out from the outside. 
You’re already crying; everything you’d been holding back to maintain a solid resolve for Eddie is crumbling as soon as you’d seen his son. You scramble out of the car, right behind him, and run to where the emergency technicians are treating Harris. 
He’s awake and alert, and he spots the two of you right away. “Daddy! Ms. Sweetheart!” He tries sitting up, but a technician gently guides him to lay down again. “No, that’s my daddy and my almost-mommy!” he protests. “I gotta see them!”
You and Eddie reach him at the same time. He’s covered in dirt; it’s smudge along his cheeks, his arms, and his legs. He’s even managed to get some on the tip of his nose. Some blood is smeared on his right knee where he’s seemed to have scraped it, and the EMTs spray some antiseptic on it and apply a bandage before he can even feel the sting.
“Oh, thank God.” The words rush out of Eddie’s mouth, and he puts his palms on his son’s cheeks and presses kisses all over his face. “You’re okay, you’re okay…” He turns to the technicians, worry pinching his brows together. “He’s okay, right? There’s nothing wrong?” He pushes some of Harris’s damp curls from his forehead. There aren’t any visible bumps or bruises on his face, which eases a bit of his nerves.
One technician nods. “Right now, it seems like he’s just got some minor lacerations, but we’ll run the gamut of tests to rule out more severe injuries.” She looks over at the police chief, who stands a few yards behind you. “We’ll take it from here.��
Hopper gives a small, sad smile; it’s then that you remember that his own child had passed away nearly twenty years ago. She was only a little older than Harris is now. 
Eddie follows your gaze with red-rimmed eyes, the realization setting in for him, too. “Thanks, Chief,” he says, just loud enough so Hopper can hear him. Hopper nods, placing his hat atop his head before walking away.
The EMTs check for any broken or sprained bones, shine lights into Harris’s pupils, and ask him a few simple questions to assess for a concussion. “We’ll have to take him to the hospital, just to be sure,” they say to you and Eddie, “but barring any extenuating circumstances, you should be able to bring him back home tonight.”
“Okay, yeah, okay,” Eddie breathes, crouching down a bit so he’s eye-level with his son. “Har, can you tell us why you ran away from school? You’re not in trouble; I promise.”
Harris looks down at the blanket draped across his lap. “I had really big feelings, and I tried thinking about the zoo like you told me,” he glances at you, “but then the feelings didn’t go away, so I decided to go there.”
You take his small hand in yours. “What were the big feelings?” you ask gently, free of judgment and filled with concern.
He thinks for a second, then states matter-of-factly, “Mad and sad.”
“Mad and sad?”
“Mhm,” he mumbles, wiping at his nose with his free hand. “‘Cause of Ms. Marion and Ms. Paula.”
You freeze, trying to regain your composure before Harris can pick up on your uncertainty. “What happened with your teachers, Har?”
“They were saying mean things about you and Daddy, and it made me mad and sad.”
At the sound of his title, Eddie speaks up. “Mean things about us?”
“Yeah, like, that Ms. Sweetheart is probably teaching you how to read, too,” Harris explains, “and I said that they’re lying, that you’re really smart and read to me all the time. And that Ms. Sweetheart isn’t your teacher; she’s my almost-mommy.”
Eddie clenches his fists, veins prominent as his body goes stiff. His anger isn’t at the insult, but at the way they could speak so brazenly about a child’s family, disregarding the hurt it causes. He doesn’t care what those women think of him, but he’s furious that they upset Harris.
“They keeped laughing and telled me to go play,” Harris continues, getting choked up at the memory. “I tried to do my breathing and my favorite place remembering with Charlie, but it didn’t work. And I got lost going to the zoo–the real zoo, not the one in my imagination–so I hided with the cats until the nice lady found me.”
You and Eddie share heartbroken looks, pushing aside your respective emotions as you tend to the little boy laying in front of you. “Get some rest, Har Bear,” you murmur, kissing the top of his head. “You had a long day.”
He falls asleep after a few minutes, constantly checking to make sure that the two of you are still by his side. As soon as his breathing steadies and his eyes remain closed, Eddie turns to you, exhausted and running on fumes. Wet brown doe eyes pleadingly gaze at you, lids heavy with sleep. You wrap your arms around him, unable to get close enough. He moves slowly, every action a delayed reaction, but he gradually embraces you, too.
“Stay. Please.” The words are muffled by the way his mouth is mashed into your scalp, but you hear them perfectly fine. “And if we get to go home tonight, come back with us. I need you both close to me.”
“Of course.” Your own lips press against his perspiration-soaked shirt collar. “I’ll stay as long as you need me to.” You pull back ever-so-slightly, brushing tears from his cheeks. “He’s safe. He’s safe, and he’s here, and we get to keep spoiling and loving him.”
Eddie absorbs this as best as he can, mind still spinning as the adrenaline crash hits. There’s so much he wants to say, but for right now, he just carves out space in his body for yours. Your light whisper keeps him grounded, pulling hi away from the spiraling that usually overtakes him in times of crisis.
“I’ve got you.”
--
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macfrog · 4 months
Text
champagne problems sex on fire chapter ten
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i'm not sorry!!!!! you'll never catch me!!!! (im, like, super sorry)
pairing: ceo!joel x fem!reader
summary: the secrecy between you and joel comes to a head. one huge, explosive, painful head.
warnings: age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), workplace relationship, imbalance of power dynamic, whew boy the angst is big in this one sorry, reader has a lot of internal struggle, daddy issues and commitment issues to the max (ha), memories of parental abandonment and adultery, sort of vague mention/description of reader having panic attacks, attempts to initiate sex (but alas, only one small mention of previous sex), Big Argument, alcohol consumption, cursing, sugardaddy!joel, soft!joel, fluff and angst. angst angst angst angst
word count: 11.1k
series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 💚
The lavender is the first to wilt.
It stares glumly at the kitchen counter. Posture hunched and drooping. You stand before it, clutching a jug of water like you’re starving the purple sprigs for information. Why did he lie to me why did he lie why would he lie to me tell me why.
The daisies look on, awkward and curious. Their petals streaked with green – still fresh and still at least trying to bloom. The news hasn’t reached their delicate stamens yet – they still have blind hope. But they’re drinking from the same rotten water their lilac neighbors are. They must know it’s futile.
You fill the vase up and fix the lace bow – the one you’d transferred from the brown paper wrap to the vase last night, after seeing Joel out. He stayed until nightfall, until the rest of your apartment faded into a pale gloom, forgotten about while the two of you watched TV and kept secrets from one another in your warm-lit bedroom.
When he leaned down and held his lips over yours, you pushed yourself onto your toes and kissed him goodbye. He ruffled your hair, clipped your bottom lip lovingly. Said, I’ll call you tomorrow. Get some sleep, pretty girl.
You lay staring at the ceiling the whole night.
He was out all day Saturday at a charity event. He called you as he arrived home – you heard the elevator’s ding through the receiver, announcing its arrival at his top-floor apartment. And you stayed on the phone, the thing discarded on your mattress, as sleep blurred the edges of the world in and out of focus all evening.
Three times you thought about just telling him to come back over, hold you until you forgot what he’d even done. Pretend that the man who, possessed by lies and jealousy or something much worse, had taken your wrist and swept you off out of Jean-Marc’s penthouse isn’t the same one who brought you tea and Chinese food yesterday. The one who held you, blood and broken wings safe in his arms, while you wept into his body.
Three times you stamped the flame out, remembering. As if you needed reminding. Your stomach still sinks anytime the reel jerks back to its beginning behind your eyes. The words unfortunately and unavailable. The rustling of the bag in the kitchen. The padding of his footsteps drawing nearer and nearer.
Your phone buzzes somewhere across the room. You set the jug down and shuffle over, tilting the screen in the morning light.
We’re outside baby. Take your time.
You haven’t mentioned it to him, yet. Haven’t breached the conversation. You’ve no fucking clue where to start. It hurts too much to look at it just yet – like scalding yourself with boiling water and clamping a wet towel to the burn until you can stomach the sight of your skin, all blistered and bubbling.
The towel is still covering the wound. You’re still frantically pacing around the kitchen clutching it, heavy and sopping. You’re not sure what it looks like, but from beneath the cold cloth, it doesn’t feel good.
It doesn’t feel good at all.
Joel’s leaning against the Rolls when you totter down your front steps. Fall plucks the leaves from the trees one by one; they swirl down to the smooth pavement, brown and amber and golden. You’re in a floral tea dress, which took you an obscene amount of time to decide on, given the cocktail of nerves and confusion and outright panic rolling around your stomach.
Your heel scuffs to a halt in front of him. He pushes off of the car and swings your door open, squints at you in the sunlight. You watch his eyes move down your frame, a misplaced desire to impress him dripping through your veins, and then he looks back up.
“Hi, pretty girl,” he says, and your veins sizzle. “You look…” he shakes his head simply, “…you’re beautiful.”
Your lips betray you. Your mind – that poor, dead lavender; your body – the poor, naïve daisies. Still has blind hope.
You can’t help but reflect his expression, attempting to mask it with a soft shrug. “Are the heels too much?” you ask, glancing down and lifting your foot.
Joel shakes his head instantly. “I like ‘em. And even if they were, we’re late. You ain’t got time to change.”
“You said you’d be here at twelve. It’s ten after.”
“I run a construction company, not a watchmakers. You okay?”
“Yeah,” you say. Unconvincingly.
“I mean,” he circles a hand over his stomach, lifts his eyebrows, “you feelin’ okay? We don’t have to go – Martha wouldn’t mind, you know that.”
“I’m fine,” you chirp, and your painted lips flatten against one another as you dip into the car. “Hi, Rand.”
The driver lowers his sunglasses and tips his head in the rear-view. “Hi, baby.”
Joel shimmies along the leather, shifting his jacket from between you to scoop your body against his. You glance down, eyeing his soft sweater, the light shade of it paired against that of your dress. The glint of his watch as his wrist slips happily between your legs, hooking under your thigh. The bloody crimson of the birthday card envelope, trembling in the door pocket.
The car pulls off, dragging you from your daydream. Stealing you back from the dystopia where you and Joel match, where you go together. A couple. Removing the notion of it from your makeup, each cell in your body slowly reverting back to yours again. Just yours. No CEO boss to stake his claim to any of them.
Martha’s place sits at the end of a cul-de-sac; neighbored on one side by a retired couple who spent their entire summer arguing in the backyard, according to Martha, and on the other by a row of quaint cypress.
The front door, bordered by polished mosaic squares of glass, sits inside one of four gable roofs. Dark green shutters either side of each stark-white window frame. A smooth path snaking between neatly-fringed grass, a hierarchy of tiny bushes growing greener and greener the closer they draw to the front steps.
Come in through the back, she’d said. Gate will be open. We’ll be in the yard.
Joel makes some quiet remark just to you about how perfect the house looks. The red brick and marengo tile. How much effort gone into polishing the front, only to tell you to use the back entry. ‘s only for looking, he decides, and then offers his hand to pull you from the Rolls.
He bends over the car, hand flat on the roof, and calls back to Rand. “Do me a favor – don’t go far. Just –” he jerks his head in your direction, “– just in case.”
When he straightens up and the car purrs off, you shake your head. “I’m fine,” you whisper, and he hooks two fingers around the string of the giftbag, taking it from your grasp.
He replaces it with his hand, his huge palm against yours. “I know,” he mutters, glancing down the drive, “but it’s an excuse for when I get sick of Alan ‘n all his damn friends.”
“Henry,” you remind him.
He tosses you a half-second look, smirk scrawled on his lips. He knows.
She’s waiting for you by the French doors when you arrive – Martha. Glass of sparkling champagne in each hand. Your fingers slip free from Joel’s before you’ve even rounded the corner.
“Saw the car pull up,” she tells you, leaning to let Joel kiss her cheek. “Here,” she hands you a glass, then one to Joel, “and here.”
You sip at the bubbling drink, letting the sharp fizz assault your tongue. Letting the feeling wash down your throat, stinging and bitter. Joel seems to swallow his just fine.
He swings the bag in her direction, tongue swiping across his bottom lip. “Just a little somethin’ from the two of us.”
You frown, holding a hand up to shield your eyes from sunlight too faint to cause the stiffness of your face and the drawn string of your brows. Where is Deb? And her two sons? And their shared gift? Isn’t it totally platonic and professional after all, to sign something from you and Joel?
Martha’s hands clasp. She reaches gleefully for the bag, smiling at the striped pattern. “I got no idea where he is. Last I saw, they were all headin’ up to his room. Some zombie game on his PlayStation. He promises me they ain’t playin’ the R-rated version.”
“That’s alright,” Joel says, “I believe ‘im.” He leans closer, a weight apparent at the small of your back. It shocks like a surge of electricity up your spine, hurts like a sudden muscle spasm. And then it soothes the pain, his thumb rubbing delicately. “’s a nice place,” he tells Martha.
She feigns disbelief. “Well, thank you, Mr. Miller, C-E-O,” she sings, and then, cocking an eyebrow, “y’all want a tour?”
You both nod politely, following her towards the kitchen doors. Joel nods towards a table by the barbecue – an island amongst a sea of candy and pastries, chopped fruit and bowls of nuts: a two-tiered, sky-blue cake. The name Henry piped in red icing – the letters swirling much like a birthday card you once read in a house on Maple Street.
“Nice little cake for Alan,” Joel mutters, squeezing your waist.
A stolen laugh shudders from your lips; the two of you snicker together, and despite your best attempts to cover your grin with your champagne flute, Martha spots you.
“What’s so funny?” she asks, sidling back over.
“Martha,” you clear your throat, “would you do me a favor?”
“What’s that, sweetheart?”
“Would you please tell Joel your son’s name?”
She looks at you blankly. Blinks between you and the man at your side, both staring back expectantly. But her stone-set expression begins to crack, the lines deepening around her mouth.
“As in,” you clarify, “his real name. Not Alan.”
She makes to reply when the swish-thud of a window opening interrupts, the prepubescent bellow of an almost-teen from overhead.
“Mom!” Henry calls, his dark head of curls and long, boyish arms dangling over the sill.
Martha glares up at him. “What have I told you about hangin’ from there” she yells, fists propped on her hips. “What is it?”
“Mike brought Blood Cry III; can we play it?”
She shakes her head indignantly. “I have told you – how many times? No!” She holds her hands out in apology to you and Joel, and then scuttles off into the kitchen. “Go explore,” she waves, “I trust ya!”
Joel wordlessly takes your hand, leading you in Martha’s wake through the kitchen to the living room: its navy walls and white paneling, bookshelves spanning the entire length of one wall, and a pale-brick fireplace centering two leather couches. Very pristine, very perfect. Very Martha.
You amble around, slowing in front of the mantelpiece above which a gallery of framed photos hangs. Henry as a toddler on a green trike; Martha’s stepdaughter and her kid; Alan on a golfing trip. Your eyes jump from plump cheeks to missing teeth, sunhats and Thanksgiving meals, until they land on a photo of Martha and Alan on their wedding day – her veil pinned neatly into a permed updo, her puffy-sleeved dress and the lemon bouquet spilling from her hands.
Joel’s shoulder brushes against your own, his eye journeying across the photos, too. “Ha,” he tosses a finger towards the wedding photo, “nineties Martha. Nice hair, huh?”
You smile, lazily swatting his arm. “She looks beautiful. They seem happy.”
Joel agrees. “Wonder what their first dance song was.”
“I bet it was something classy. Sinatra or something. Martha wouldn’t be breaking the marriage in to anything cheesy, that’s for sure.”
He laughs, spinning off towards the dining room. “You ever thought about what you’d pick?”
You hesitate, rounding the table on the opposite side. “Uh…no. Not really.”
“Not your thing? Marriage.”
You chance a glance at him over a vase of lilies in the center of the mahogany table. The smell twists towards you, leering as it coats your skin and your clothes and the back of your throat in a sickly film that makes your head spin. “I guess not. I’ve never – Not since…”
He nods. He knows. “That’s fair,” he says, hands finding his pockets. The idea of Blake – his name, his shaking hands, the tiny box in his suit pocket – the thought of those images flitting through Joel’s brain pinches the air from your lungs.
You watch the silhouette of him as it crosses over the bay window, looking out onto the trimmed grass and smooth asphalt street. Something cracks deep in your chest. Something begins to unbind.
“What would yours be?” you ask him, and he turns.
“Depends,” he shrugs, “on when I’m gettin’ married or not. Makes no difference to me.”
You bypass the point he’s making. Turn away from it like you would a shadow in the night. “If you were,” you insist, “what would you pick?”
He nears you, never breaking your stare. His confident matches your nervous, his steady gaze on your shy. “Somethin’ special to me ‘n her. An our song kinda thing.” And then, as he brushes deliberately by your shoulder to head for the stairs, “AC/DC or som’.”
Your heels stick like they did that night in the dive bar. Ears hurt with a ringing loud enough to blur the edges of your vision. Your skin feels the same hot – only, not from the crowded room you’re in, or the mix of alcohol and sweat and something akin to lust seeping through your pores.
You stare fixedly at the view from the bay window, the perfect little cul-de-sac with its perfectly smooth roads; perfect for kids learning to ride their first bikes, perfect for couples wandering arm in arm, perfect for angry fathers taking off in cars packed with belongings.
When you were a kid, buckled into the back of your dad’s car, you used to fight sleep to watch the moon race you home. Her white glow surviving being split over and over again by the trees you’d whip past. Your eyes would flit from hers to the windscreen, watching the road up ahead as it threatened to twist and turn. No matter how fast you thought your dad must be driving, no matter which direction he turned – every time you looked for her, there she’d be.
It makes sense now. The notion of staying. Occupying somewhere in space or in time, and forgetting how to leave. Forgetting how to try. Forever fixed there, glowing in a brilliant melancholy, singing to nobody in the dark expanse of the sky. Waiting for the sun to make her return. Just waiting waiting waiting.
You – the moon, and your sky – that fucking driveway. The Toyota, the rust on its underside so bitter you could taste it like blood on your tongue. Searching all over for the scraps of yourself, the pieces he tore away as he fled: veins tangled around spokes, severed fingers tinged crimson and hooked around the steering wheel. Don’t go. Don’t leave me.
And then, the sun – some sharp-suited, quick-witted Texan; enough charm and ease to lift himself over the horizon, to give you something other than the glimmer in your own tears to reflect.
The moon stares down at you now as you sit, perched on your balcony. Your knees tucked under your chin, watching two cats wrestle down on the street below. It’s just gone two; Joel’s in bed fast asleep. You slipped from his grasp and crept out of your room, a blanket over your shoulders, and disappeared between the sheer curtains. Your chest tight, your breathing short.
It keeps happening, that thing from Paris. Your head begins to spin, your voice withers to nothing. Your legs push you to your feet and force you to flee, though you’ve still to figure out where to or what from. All you know is that blue-eyed stare of your ex-fiancé has been wiped, replaced by the dusted beard of your boss instead. The plastic ring between his fingers. The creaking leather of his office chair.
Those same four words keep circling your head, replaying on a loop between your ears: why did he lie why did he lie why did he lie. Like white noise droning around your skull, bubbling nausea in the pit of your stomach. No, darlin’. Why would I lie to you?
Why did you lie to me?
Why did he do any of it? Take you to Paris, let you meet his client. Why has he been sleeping with you, treating you like some kind of girlfriend? The word plucks goosepimples all over your body. His body around yours at Aspen Heights – what you wanted so badly to believe was endearment, was comfortability and generosity, now feels like territory-marking. Feels like the white-knuckled tightening of a leash in his wide fist.
The leaves of the trees across the street tremble, lit luminous green by the 7-Eleven sign they fringe. You watch as two men swagger out of the store; their chatter drowned by the buzzing of the fluorescent sign. They split off with a quick handshake at the curb, disappearing into two different cars, driving off in two different directions.
You sniff. Some skunky smell hangs low in the air. So thick that you can feel it coating your lungs from the inside out. You sink back into your chair, push your fingers into your eyes until you’re watching a mirage of stars pull across your vision. Blow a cracked, nervous breath into the sky. Slip your nose beneath the collar of your tee.
Joel’s tee, which pools in the dip between your stomach and thighs. You suck his scent in like one hit of some intoxicating drug, for every three hits of clean air. Just seeing you through. Pretending there’s no addiction there.
But fuck, if you’re not screwed. One half of you holding back on mentioning the email because – what the fuck do you even say? How do you begin to ask him about it? How do you approach the topic, without prefacing it with feelings you’re too afraid to admit even to yourself?
And the other half – for fear of what you might cause. What you might make him do. For the pure, cut-throat fear that he’ll become the third in a list of men to just – leave. To let you down, to let you go. Change between couch cushions. Wild flowers torn from the earth’s scalp.
Then, the fracturing realization that you don’t want him to go. That you’re used to him, now, in a way you never were with your dad or with Blake. Your dad – who would choose poker night over parents’ night. Who would choose a drink with his buddies over a movie with you and your mom.
Or Blake – who would schedule sex on the nights he figured he’d have enough energy to fuck you until at least he came, and would buy you chrysanthemums on your birthday even long after you’d told him you were pretty sure you were allergic.
And then there’s Joel. Joel fucking Miller. Who turned up at your door less than thirty minutes after Martha told him you were sick. Who said in the car ride to her house earlier, Tell me your favorite flower.
Why? you asked.
Just so I know.
Joel – who has never asked anything more than you’ve chosen to tell him about your father, but whose face still screws into an angry grimace anytime he’s forced to think of him. Who reaches out to adjust the broken heart around your neck, slip the clip back to your nape without you asking Who offers you the last slice of pizza, and when you refuse, compromises by splitting it. Giving you the bigger half.
Joel – with whom sex feels like a form of communication: Here are all the things I don’t know how to say, yet. Yet yet yet. A conversation, each movement deliberate; each nip and lick and bite weighted with purpose and meaning. It lives under your nails, behind your teeth. Here – I don’t know what else to do with all this longing.
Joel – who has not only set every foot right, but has carved his own path through your heart. Explored the caves himself, a lonely lamp hanging from his fist as he carefully, gently, politely weaved his way through a jungle of valves and tissue, monsters and darkness, slowly winding his way to the center.
Joel. Who has never let you down. Until that fucking email.
A 7-Eleven employee, some scrawny kid with a mop of black hair and a polo hanging from his skeleton, drags a cloth in wide circles on the inside of the windows. He swipes his forehead along his wrist, thick tresses disturbed, and stares out at the empty street.
You blink twice, and a figure materializes at your balcony door.
“Baby?”
“Jesus!”
“Woah, woah. Easy – ‘s just me.” The pale drapes surrender to his wide frame, letting him pass. “Sorry, pretty girl. You okay?”
“You scared the crap outta me.”
Joel bends before you, a sweet little chuckle in his throat, and presses a warm kiss to your forehead. You lift your chin, letting your eyes close over and your thoughts melt away on his lips. He pulls the blanket tighter around your shoulders.
“What are you doin’ out here at this time of night?”
You shrug as he settles into the wireframe chair opposite. Groans as he leans back. His wide chest constricted by a tight, gray hoodie splattered with paint.
“Just can’t sleep. Nice hoodie.”
His eyes dip to the mounds of your chest under plain cotton, the blanket slack around your breasts. “Someone stole my T-shirt. Stole somethin’ of hers back. Why can’t you sleep? You hurting?”
Yeah. “No. Just – not tired enough, I guess.”
“You want company?”
Not really. “Sure.”
He laces his fingers over his stomach as he settles back, studies you as your gaze skims the street below. He knows you’re lying. But it’s two a.m., and you’re weeks into an affair that you’re both pretty sure has gone past the point of no return, and so, voice plain, he asks, “What’s on your mind, angel?”
“How d’you know there’s something on my mind?”
“There’s always something on your mind. It’s you.” And then, readjusting in his seat, “Tell me what you’re thinking about.”
You scrunch your nose with a sniff. Pull your arms inside the sleeves of his shirt and cross them under your breasts. “Your dad,” you say, locking eyes with him.
Joel lets it hang for all of three seconds. “My dad?” His face curls into a perplexed smirk, jaw tilting. He thinks you’re so fucking adorable, or maybe you think he is, and you’re not sure which one scares you more.
You laugh, chest lightening disobediently. It felt more comfortable when you couldn’t breathe. “What he did,” you explain.
“What he did,” Joel repeats, lifting his chin. Like a dog, sniffing out the truth. Something concealed in your fist.
So you unfold your fingers, holding it out in the palm of your hand: “Do you think he would’ve done it, still, if he knew what would happen?”
And then he really shakes off the humor. Sits forward, elbows leaning on his bare thighs. “What’re you talkin’ about, pretty girl?”
“Like,” you sigh, “if he knew he would split his entire family in two. You and your mom cut him off; Tommy moved halfway across the country. Was it worth it?”
“To me, or to him?”
You shrug again. He’ll choose the one he wants to answer. You’ll figure him out either way.
“Look,” Joel says, and hooks his fingers under the seat of your chair to pull you closer. He takes your ankles and you stretch your legs out, heels propped in the boxer-clad valley between his legs. A deep breath, hazel eyes pointed upwards like searching the skies for the words, and then: “People want what they want, right? They’ll do whatever they think is necessary to get it. He wanted to cheat, so he did. And he paid the price.”
“He wanted to cheat?”
It seems obvious to him. As though people seek out ways to hurt the ones they’re supposed to love all the damn time. The silver glint of a Labrador’s teeth as he sinks them into his owner’s skin.
Joel nods. “Wanted it badly enough that he did anything.”
“Lied?” you offer.
“Lied, cheated, left. Yeah.”
“And he risked everything.”
His head tips in agreement. “I guess he did. He was a damn idiot, you know? Had a wife who loved him, had two kids. He had the whole world in that house, and he threw it all away.”
“And,” the soles of your feet rest gently on the curve of his stomach, “would that – would it stop you? If you at least knew you were riskin’ something?”
“From cheating?”
“Anything. If you knew what you were risking was everything to you – would it stop you doing what you really wanted?”
His face tightens, brows knit with confusion and something else more difficult to place. “It depends. I wouldn’t risk something like you. I would n–”
“Somethin’ like me?” you interject.
Joel clears his throat. Looks up to the pitch-black sky again. “You…” He sighs. His answer is simple, black-and-white. There’s no way to hide it anymore. “I wouldn’t risk you, no. Not for the world.”
You fall silent. The moon stares down, seeming to melt around you. Her light like two steady arms holding you together, nudging you to ask the last question – the one spiraling around your mind like circling a drain.
Joel squeezes your ankle. “Where are you goin’ with this, baby? Are you asking me if I would cheat on you?”
Your heart jumps. The moon scatters.
Does he fall into the category of people who could cheat on you? Two months ago, he was just your boss. Two months ago, you hadn’t touched him more than a slap after a witty comment, the brushing of fingers as you handed him his morning coffee. But now…now, you’ve kissed his lips to shut him up. You’ve felt him come inside you. You’ve set foot inside his childhood fucking home, for Christ’s sake.
He makes you feel as though your heart is made of glass, delicate and laid bare but safe in his hands. He makes you feel as though a part of you exists outside of your own body – like there’s a piece of your soul wandering the earth by itself, touching base every time his hands are on your hips, his teeth in your neck.
Yeah. Fuck – yeah. He’s someone who could cheat on you. The way that email made you feel – he’s someone who could break your heart.
“I know you wouldn’t cheat on anyone,” you say, voice breaking. “No, I just – I don’t know what counts as a good enough reason to hurt someone you’re supposed to…supposed to love.”
Joel sits back in his chair again, the frame creaking under the weight of him. He reckons he gets it, now. You reckon he’s still wrong. “Come here,” he says, fingers flicking.
“What?”
He leans forward, takes your waist in his hands and pulls you from your chair into his lap, curling you up between his thighs. Safe. Protected by the shell of his body, protected by everything except from the thing scaring you most: the quickening of his heartbeat when you settle against it.
Your head slots under the curve of his chin, his voice a deep rumble over your skull.
“Your dad,” his chest swells, “he did what he did because he wanted to do it. Wanted it badly enough that he gave up you and your mom. And there wasn’t nothin’ you or her could’ve done to stop him, or convince him otherwise. You hear me?”
You turn into his neck, letting your tears fall hidden from view of streetlight or moonlight. You feel fucking tiny – a kid again, sat in a grownup’s lap, asking a never-ending series of why questions. Then, why did he do it? Why did he leave? Why are you staying? Why did you lie to me?
Joel presses his lips to your head, shushing you quietly, his body rocking back and forth like a boat on light waves. When he hears you sniffling, he holds you closer. Tighter. Your heart melds to your chest wall, desperate to seek his out. The hoodie he’s wearing smells like you, smells like him, smells like the chemicals of paint and the poison of love.
“It wasn’t your fault, darlin’, none of it.”
His arm hooked over your bare knees, the cotton keeping you warm. The other around your back, keeping you whole. You unstick yourself from his embrace, pulling your body straight until you’re straddling his lap, face to face with him in the light.
He looks up at you, almost afraid to blink. Afraid to lose sight of you at all. Your thighs lean heavily against his, your bodies locked together. You link your arms over his shoulders, anchor yourself to him as though the storm in your mind might sweep you away. And in the glimmer of light in his eye, the dazzling bulb of a lighthouse – you see the reflection of yourself.
Joel notices the shift in your expression. Holds you by the hips, follows the turn of your head. “You okay?” he asks, and you look down, avoiding his eye.
Glowing brilliant and lonely, blinking slowly. Your towering silhouette and caged-glass top. Drawing ships nearer just to ward them off when they pull too close. When they begin to notice the jagged shape of your shoreline, the ugly mess of your soul. Casting a blinding light on them, warning them to flee. And he didn’t fucking listen.
He docked anyways. Drew up on the beach, pulled himself into your body time and time again. You kept moving, kept warning him with each flicker of light, kept daring him to leave. And he never did. And there are pieces of you now living in him because of it, pieces you don’t understand how to take back. All you know, all you’ve ever known about Joel, is –
Your body sinks, hips lowering until you’re sure you’ve proven yourself right.
A stubborn weight between his legs. Not quite as hard as you’ve felt him before, not quite as heavy, but – a shape which sends a hot hiss between his teeth when you move over it, when the thin strip of your underwear courses over the thin cloth of his.
“P-retty girl,” Joel says, a groan seeping from the corners of his lips. A groan he holds onto with his molars, letting it snap like elastic when your hips circle again.
A weight as stubborn as the need slowly swirling in your chest. And pulled up into the cyclone are those same words: It wasn’t your fault. There wasn’t nothin’ you could’ve done to stop him. Why did you lie to me? It wasn’t your fault.
It hits you at once, the sudden realization that you’re lighter than you were before you first touched one another – really touched one another. Parts of you missing, passed over gladly the second his hand reached for them. The taste of you behind his lip, gums absorbing you like nicotine.
And you’re kissing him, your lips harsh against his, his stubble hurting your skin. Your tongue seeking out those parts of yourself. No. You don’t have me anymore. I’m taking me back.
“Hey,” Joel whispers into your mouth, steadying your hips. He pulls back and holds you still. “Why don’t we slow down? It’s late, you ain’t feeling too good –”
“I feel fine. I want to do it.” You lick again between his lips though he doesn’t budge; your attempts to move again, ineffective. “Joel.”
“It’s been a long day, you’re tired. Work in the mornin’, baby, I just don’t think we oughta –”
“You don’t wanna fuck me?”
He pauses, his tongue between his teeth. His brows pinch, almost painfully. “That is not what this is, ‘n you know it. I can see how tired you are – you ain’t even slept yet.”
“I don’t care. I want you to –”
His voice lifts to something you’ve only heard within the four walls of his office. Like chiding one of his guys, like snapping back at their red ties and crumpled collars. “I know what you want me to do. I just think we should go back to bed.”
“’n what if I don’t want to go back to bed?”
Joel sighs, looking out across the street. His tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek.
“I don’t get what the problem is,” you complain, still holding onto his shoulders. “You’ve fucked me in public before.”
“It ain’t that.”
“Then what is it?”
“Why don’t you go grab a sketchbook or something? Show me some of this artwork you been promisin’ since Paris?”
You blink back at him, watching the lighthouse swirl. The black waves begin to carry him off, sweep him from your view. “Maybe some other time,” you mumble, pushing yourself off of his lap.
Joel watches you, defeated. Keeps ahold of your hand when you stand between his knees. He swings your interlocked fingers gently. “Can you…can you tell me what’s wrong? Do you know?”
Your lungs pull in a deep breath, your shoulders rolling. “Same thing as always, I guess. Let’s just go back to bed.”
“Wait, pretty girl,” he tugs on your hand, reeling you back in, “waitwaitwait.” And then he’s standing, enclosing you in his arms again, asking, “What can I do to fix it?”
That same shrug. Tired. Deflated. Terrified. “If I only knew.”
You wait for Joel to move first, a sigh falling from his lips as he pulls the sheer curtains back, taking you by the hand and ushering you between. He follows your lead back into your apartment, sliding the door closed behind.
The living room is flattened by a gray silence, the liminal night swallowing up the air. Joel’s hand comes to rest at the nape of your neck, and when you turn to him, he says, “You wanna know if he thought it was worth it?”
You pause, fingers playing with the hem of his tee at your thighs.
He’s close enough that you can feel the heat near enough sizzling from his body. The right side of his face is shrouded in darkness; the chalky wash of streetlight painting the left. “My dad.”
You swallow hard, blinking in the shadow cast by his tall figure. The light clings wearily to his beard.
“She left him after two weeks. Went back to her husband. My dad died alone in an empty four-bed in Rosedale. You tell me.”
And then he pats the small of your back, takes you back through to bed – where you let him fall asleep on your chest, listening to make sure your fractured heart is still beating.
Joel Miller is in your shower. For the second time this weekend.
He’s not fucking you, not holding you against the rough tile wall as his cock draws come and blood and tears from your body. He’s not wrapping a towel around you, handing you a fresh tampon, kissing the parts of your skin still alight from your orgasm.
He’s just showering, before work. Using your peach-scented soap, pushing suds under his arms, over his stomach, between his legs. Lathering your shampoo like treacle between his palms, hair slick and foamy white between his fingers. Fixing the head so that his height fits under the stream of water, turning the knobs until it’s as hot as he likes it.
You’re lying across your bed, suffocating in the smell of his side and pretending none of it’s really happening. Face buried in his pillow, waiting for the intoxication to throw you under or wipe your mind clean or maybe just cut the air supply from your lungs completely. Whichever’s quickest.
The bathroom door opens; the sound of footsteps padding over to you. His weight sinks into the bed by your hip, then hovers over your back. His nose, still steamy and damp from the shower, nuzzles into the spot behind your ear. His lips leave a wet trail down your neck.
“You need another day?” Joel asks, kissing.
“I’m good,” the cotton absorbs the nervous edge of your voice, “just coming.”
“Stay home if you want, angel,” he says, hands roaming south to hold your waist. Like warning the pain, tempting it to show back up. See what he does about it. “I gotta go take this shareholders meeting, but I can come back as soon as it’s done.”
“Nah,” you groan, pushing your heavy frame up. Joel’s grip slackens. “I need the distraction, I think.”
He sits back, smiling dumbly when you straighten. His tongue runs along his teeth.
“You can use my toothbrush,” you mutter, heel of your palm wiping sleep from your eye.
“Hm?” He’s fixing the mess of your hair. Brushing one side flat, then the other; leaning back and forth with this dumb, half-there smile on his face. And your chest heaves, and you almost surrender to the impulse to throw yourself into his arms, almost lean into his cupped hands and burning caresses.
“I owe you. From Paris. You can use it, just this once.”
He scoffs. “I won’t use your toothbrush, darlin’. It’s alright.”
But you’re indignant. You already have every other part of me, don’t you? What’s one more? Just fucking –
“– use it. I swear I don’t mind.”
Joel’s head tilts, conceding. “Alright. Come get ready, then.”
Martha’s at her desk when the two of you wander back into the office. “Wait!” she calls, clicking around her desk as you pass by. She twirls a blue envelope between two glittery nails, holds it out to you.
Joel takes it, examining the childish scrawling of your names. “Nice, but – your calligraphy needs a little practice, Martha.”
“Hilarious,” she drones, sitting back against the desk.
You drift over to your own, dropping your back over the back of your chair, and shrug the coat from your shoulders.
Joel’s voice draws nearer as he speaks. “He have a good time?” he asks.
“Oh, yeah,” Martha replies, and Joel sits the card from Henry by your monitor, “barely saw ‘im the entire day. Thanks for comin’. For his gift, too – y’all really…You ain’t gotta do that.”
“Was all my idea, wasn’t it?” Joel asks, smirking to you.
An airy laugh pushes from your chest, loose with nerves. “Som’ like that. Glad he had a nice birthday.”
Joel saunters back toward his office, hands in his pockets. Fucking casual, like the world isn’t crumbling beneath your feet. Like the walls aren’t closing in, the sky lowering by the hour, the sun being steadily eclipsed minute by minute. He nudges the door closed with his foot, leaving you, Martha, and an awkward mist of realization between you.
“Your idea,” she muses, once you’ve plucked up enough courage to face her again.
You pick up Henry’s card, staring at the smudged handwriting to mask the horror peeling its way across your face. “Thought it was easier that way, y’know?” You gulp. “Don’t make it into anythin’.”
She grunts, something shaped like Ha. Her arms cross over her body, her eyes flitting between Joel’s office and you. “I sure as hell don’t remember me ‘n Alan ever doing something like that before it meant anythin’.”
“What are you saying it means?” you ask, rhetorically, dryly – a little meaner than you want it to sound. “What’s…?”
Her plucked eyebrows lift, forehead creasing. “Nothing, sweet. I’m just saying – you two are close, now. It’s nice.”
“We were always close.”
She holds her finger up. “Uh, no. Not turn up at my son’s birthday party together, leave together, then turn up at work the next day also together close.” Her eyes narrow, and you almost believe she might’ve been hidden between the trees last night – hell, for a second, you believe she might’ve been that scrawny kid wiping down the windows of 7-Eleven.
“I’m just saying,” she continues, when your throat closes around your nothing answer, “if something’s happening, I’m rooting for it.”
It shoots from your jaw like a bullet. “Nothing’s happening.”
Martha’s just as quick. “Okay,” she says, sweet and light. Breezy.
And then she shuffles back to her chair, resumes focus on some email. Twists the dial on her radio and fill the tense silence in the office with some smooth seventies song which lifts the hairs on the back of your neck the same way it did in that Parisian hotel. The dark suite, his eyes black and seeking. His hands on your body like he knew every curve and dip already.
Didn’t you believe that he might? That his hands were sculpted to fit the space below your ribcage? The plush cushion of flesh above your hips. The hinge of your jaw between his fingers.
Didn’t you think, for one fleeting moment, that maybe he was made just for you? As if you were so fucking lucky. As if anyone might stick around long enough to earn that label. Yours.
You settle back into your chair. The bubble writing on the front of the card stares menacingly back at you, the shapes seeming to swell and shrink in size the longer you stare at them. A bad trip, you think, this whole thing is just a bad trip. I’m gonna sober up any second, and I’m gonna be in bed, still dizzy after that night at the bar.
And none of it’s gonna be real. It’s not fucking real.
But then – lying on the opposite side of your computer, delicate and tiny, sparkling in the sunlight from over your shoulder: your ring. Your ruby ring, two euros in a gumball machine by the Seine. Like it’s winking at you, the accent rhinestones a taunting smirk. And the sight of it slings a thin wire around your heart, tight tight tightens until you’re sure you feel the tissue slice in half.
You take the ring in two shaking fingers, eyes bleary with sleep and salt. Blinking the dispersed light away, red rays bleeding all over your vision as you tilt the plastic. Joel’s voice muffles against his office door, like fists echoing against the flimsy walls of your little daydream. Time’s up. Hand him back over. It’s not fucking real anymore.
You roll the prize back onto your desk, letting it scatter shards of ruby until it hits the keyboard, the rattle echoing around your ears as you pace over to his office door. Your knuckles drum once, twice, three times against the wood before he opens it, and then he’s –
Staring down at you, breath shallow between slack lips. And he reads it all over your face, the panic and the words swimming around the tears in your eyes, and he steps back, and you step forward, and then the door’s closing again, and you’re settling against the arm of his couch.
“Ken? Hey, Ken?” Joel strides back over to his desk, hastily reaching for the phone. The voice from the receiver doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow. “Ken. Can I –? Jesus Christ.” He lifts the handset and drops it less than a second later, cutting Ken’s fucking droning, cutting the only sound in the room, cutting your blood short in your veins.
And then – “Alright. Talk to me.”
You don’t reply. He seems to tense up. Moves almost robotically over to you, lifts his hands to hold your shoulders. And when you lift yours to push him away, he almost flinches.
“Baby.”
Your jaw shakes once. You wrap your arms around yourself, squeezing the breath from your lungs.
“You’ve been actin’ off since yesterday,” he mutters, giving you some space. He’s moving slow, like he’s afraid you might lunge for him. “You gotta tell me. You’re scaring me, now.”
You haul your gaze from his open arms, his broad chest, the idea of letting him pull you in and calm you down. Your eyes land on his monitor. The text of that email flashes before you again. And your shell hardens.
“Is there anything you wanna tell me?” you ask, staring at the Apple logo. Your voice sounds timid, sounds so little that you swear you see Joel catch the words as though they’re made of glass.
His head tilts. His eyes narrow. It’s genuine confusion, you think. The penny hasn’t dropped yet. “…What?”
It pisses you off. Seems to shatter that glass into fifty angry shapes, brittle and sharp. The shards cut like a knife through the air between you. “Nothing you think I oughta know?”
He shakes his head slowly. “No, baby, I don’t…”
Your glare finally lands directly on him. Piercing straight into his eyes. But your jaw locks shut around the words.
“What the hell are you about to accuse me of?” Joel asks, mirroring your stance. Pulling his arms over his chest, jaw tight. “Cheating on you?”
Your chest jumps with a tiny laugh. “Why would I accuse you of cheating on me?”
“Sure sounded like that’s what you were thinkin’ last night.”
“No. I don’t think you’re cheating on me.”
“Then what is it?”
The gun fires. Gates open. Thunder rumbles. A fire lights in your stomach, blazing through your entire body.
“When were you planning on telling me about Jean-Marc?”
He goes quiet. Still. Realizes exactly what you mean in almost an instant. “How did you…? Where did you –?”
“I saw the email. On Friday. Gave me your phone to look for Alan’s Twelfth fucking Birthday, didn’t you?”
His face drops; a broken sigh falls from his lips. He looks up to the ceiling, something of a disbelieving, disappointed, fucking dismayed laugh loose between his jaw. “I wasn’t,” he eventually concedes.
“You weren’t?”
“No.”
You can’t believe him. You actually can’t believe him. Fists balling to hold your nerve, to hold the tremble in your voice steady, you ask, “Why?”
Joel’s body twists, rolls like some awkward wave as he readjusts, searches the surrounding room for an explanation. “There’s – there are a number of reasons why.”
“Start with the first one.”
“Alright.” He grips the wooden desk either side of his hips. Meets your stare, and it’s almost fucking admirable, the bravery with which he’s walking into this. You don’t scare him at all, not yet, anyway. Not even in the midst of a standoff in his office – guns loaded, eyes never blinking.
He pinches the bridge of his nose and then lifts his arm, waving his palm like he’s swatting the image of the Frenchman away. “He’s…He freaks me the hell out.”
“He freaks you out,” you repeat, voice flat. “Really, Joel? Big guy like you?”
You can’t help yourself. This is so fucking insane, it’s laughable. You’re like a snake shooting sharp shots at the ankles of a bear – and it’s too easy to take jabs when you’re still in disbelief at what’s fast turning out to be the truth.
“He’s sleazy, and inappropriate, and he doesn’t respect boundaries.” He counts them with three steady fingers. “Not mine, certainly not yours. I don’t like him, darlin’.”
“You like him enough to go have two meals with him in one weekend. Fly all the way to fuckin’ France for ‘im.”
“That was business. At least, the lunch was. The breakfast was a mistake.”
“What’s the second reason, Joel?”
He licks his lips. You can’t tell if it’s anxiety or anger. “You’re too good at your job. I didn’t wanna lose you.”
It’s simple enough. It’s more believable than six-foot-two Joel being afraid of five-foot-two Jean-Marc. You accept it a lot quicker.
“Any more?”
His expression drops. Yeah. There’s one more. And he doesn’t know how to say it.
“Joel.”
“I didn’t want to lose you.”
“Got that one.”
“No,” he says, shaking his head. Expression unmoving. “I didn’t want to lose you.”
You suck in a deep breath, chest wobbling as your lungs fill. The snake retreats from the bear, jaw slackening. Your eyes sting, Joel’s figure blurs a little, and then you rein it back in.
“I didn’t want you to go. That’s all,” he offers, plainly. “Just…wanted you to stay here. With me.”
“’n what if I wanted to leave?”
“Then…” Joel’s arms lift again, gesturing to nothing, “…then we’ll work something out.”
You lift your chin, some sick expression pushing your eyebrows up. “We’ll work something out?”
He nods.
“Who’s we?”
And it’s the first time you see him falter. The first time he has to catch himself. “You said it yourself,” he says, “you ‘n me. This.”
You shake your head. No no no no. Not this. Not now. The snake coils up, preparing to strike again. “What, us sleeping together?”
“That’s…What?”
“You don’t think there are plenty other women you could be sleeping with here, ‘n plenty other men I could be sleeping with over there? You really want me to stay here just so you got someone to fuck?”
Joel’s lips fall apart. His grip loosens on the desk. “That’s all this is to you?”
“Uh, yeah. Last time I checked.”
You don’t believe yourself. You know you don’t. You don’t believe a fucking word being tossed out of your mouth. You’re being an asshole, deliberately being a dick to him, and you can’t stop. There’s a wall being built at rapid pace, shutting him out. Shutting you in. Bricks made of angry words, each one separating you a little more, hiding you from his view.
And then his mouth closes. Lips form a thin line. Brows lower, blocking any of the light you’re so used to seeing from his eyes. Dark, cloudy, angry. “Got it,” he snaps. “Anything else?”
“Huh?”
“Do you need anything else? Or are you just in here to piss me off?”
You lift from the couch, arms loose, hitting your hips with a slap. “Fuck off, Joel.”
“Oh,” he nods, “right. Fuck off, yeah. Keep goin’, baby. Tire yourself out. ‘s all you’ve been doin’, ain’t it? All this time? All you’ve been using me for?”
Good. It’s good. You want him to argue back. You want him to hate you as much as you hate yourself right now. You want to see the bear’s claws; make all the hurt you’re dragging up through yourself, just to dish at him, worthwhile.
“You know what?”
“What?” he spits.
“I knew you were gonna do something like this, eventually. I knew it. I fucking knew it.”
Joel follows suit, pushing himself off the desk in one motion, and then the pair of you are chest to chest, squaring up to one another atop his five-thousand-dollar rug. “You knew what?”
“Knew there was something about him. Knew you couldn’t stand him. And this is why, right? All ‘cause he wanted to hire me?”
He turns away and laughs, almost recognizable as the same laugh you could draw from him with a silly look on your face – except sharper, colder. “Not even close,” he says, reeling back in. “You didn’t see the way he looked at you? The way he talked to you? About you?”
“Of course I saw it, Joel, I’m not fucking stupid.”
“Then use your good sense ‘n catch up, baby. You’re right: you’re not fuckin’ stupid. You were like fresh meat to him, and what? You reckon I should’ve let him just – sink his teeth deeper? Really?”
It lights something in the back of your mind; a memory flickers to life. Loops like a static radio message through your ears. “Right,” you nod, “right. Because you don’t like other people’s hands on things that belong to you, do you?”
His head jerks back, face warped with confusion and…disgust. “The hell are you talkin’ about?” he demands, voice muscled with anger.
“Martha said it once. You don’t like people playing with your toys, or whatever.”
And that seems to hit him low in the stomach. Seems to knock the wind from him.
“Are you kidding me?” he asks, and you swear his breath cuts in his throat. “That’s what you think?”
No, you think, it’s not. You know him better than that. But admitting that you know him better than to use you as some little plaything – something he had any control over, some accessory to wear on his arm – would mean admitting that the problem lies elsewhere. Lies with you.
And that’s not something you’re prepared to do right now, either.
Maybe before you found that email. Before you found out he’d been keeping you on some invisible leash. Maybe when he had you in his arms, kissing you so soft you thought you might die right then and not even notice.
Maybe when he looked at you, twirling chopsticks clumsily in his fingers, face lighting in a grin when you giggled at him – and three words floated through your head. Dared to dance over the tip of your tongue before you caught them and hissed, What the fuck are you doing here?
But – no. It’s all fucked up now. And you can’t break the tightness in your jaw to admit any different.
“You don’t think there’s a chance I actually care about you? That I – Jesus, that I respect you? Are you this goddamn hellbent on convincing yourself that everyone’s out to hurt you?”
“Joel,” your voice says, and it’s not you controlling it. Some gravely, pained thing. A shriveled part of yourself, cowering from the light. You’re recoiling, physically backing up from him.
“Darlin’, I can’t –” He reaches for your wrist.
You whip it away. “Stop.”
“I am trying to understand you,” he pleads. “I’m tryin’ to figure you out. Why won’t you let me –?”
“I don’t want you to.”
A laugh ejects from his throat and plummets straight to the floor. “Yes, you do,” he says. “You don’t do everything we’ve done unless you’re in it.”
“In it?” you seethe. “In what? What are we in?” You pinch your fingers: air quotations around the words, or possible claws digging four more wounds into the same chest you wept into last night.
Your head shakes rapidly as you speak. “We were just sleeping together. We were just having sex. That’s all. We were just having sex,” you repeat under your breath.
“I wasn’t,” Joel says. Matter-of-fact. Like reading from a contract. He takes a deep breath, and then repeats, “I wasn’t.”
The words splinter painfully from your tongue. “Well, I was.”
And though your eyes are pinned to the buttons of his shirt, though his expression sits just too north for you to see the way his face pulls – you notice his head lift. Know that there are creases digging between his brows at the same rate cracks appear across his heart. You feel the warmth of his gaze slowly cooling. Freezing over.
“I’m sorry,” he says, holding a shaky palm out. The fear begins to sink in, plunging through ice water. He’s beginning to bargain. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should’ve, I should’ve told you ev–”
Your body moves as the words ricochet, refusing to let him finish his plea. “Glad we got that cleared up, Joel,” you say, near-leaping for the door.
But he’s faster. He steps in front of you, blocking your exit path. “Please hear me out. Please listen to me.”
Your body writhes under his gaze, twists like some little creature under a microscope. He waits for your go ahead before he continues. You toss your head, acquiescing.
“I just – I couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t sleep at night thinkin’, what if you went for it? What if he managed to swindle you into taking him on? I wanted to get you the hell outta that penthouse the second he laid eyes on you.”
“So why take me in the first place?”
Joel scoffs. “I ain’t in control of you, baby! You had to figure him out on your own – and I thought you had. Christ, one minute you want me to step back ‘n let you make up your own mind, next you’re askin’ me why I took you somewhere? The hell am I supposed to do here?”
Read my mind. Don’t let him near me. Don’t let me go.
And at the same time –
Mind your fucking business. Let me make my own decisions. Keep your hands off me.
The truth is: you want him to go back in time. Take you back with him. Never touch you, never look at you any more than to ask for a coffee, or thank you for fixing up his office. Never make your heart skip that first beat, never set your skin on fire with that look in his eyes.
You want him to go back in time, and undo every knot he ever tied in your body. Let go of every string of your heart he has his fist around, every nerve which undoubtedly belongs to him, now.
Undo it all, so you might have a half-decent reason to hate him.
In the deepest, darkest parts of yourself, echoing around the caves you were always too frightened to explore yourself – you want him to tell you why he kept it from you. The real reason. And you want him to grab your wrist and pull you back into the room, back into his arms, when you inevitably flee at the sound of his reasoning.
Because you fucking know why he didn’t tell you. It’s scrawled on his face right now. And even though Jean-Marc is all of those things – sleazy, inappropriate, a scumbag in thousand-euro moccasins – that only makes up for part of the reason.
There’s a bigger piece to the puzzle, and you both know what it is, only neither of you will turn to face it. You’re simply cast in its shadow, playing blind chess under the silhouette of something you both refuse to acknowledge.
“You’re supposed to be my boss, and nothing else.”
He just stares at you. As if he’s waiting for you to say, Kidding! and laugh. As if he’s waiting for what you really mean to shove what you just said out of the way and tell the truth. It hurts all the more.
After a few seconds of awful silence, his breath falls from his lips in the form of a sigh, staggered with a laugh of disbelief. “I don’t…I don’t get it.”
But you’re tired now. You feel drained. You’ve less fight, energy gone to waste before you could make it to the real contest. Kicking his door down and yelling at him over Jean-Marc was the pregame show.
“What don’t you get?” you whisper, slumping back against the arm of the couch.
His answer terrifies you more than anything.
“You.”
You sigh, eyes falling closed in time with the drop of your head. Your breathing labored, your heart pounding. Fear. Adrenaline. Anger. Fear. Fear. Fear.
“You never let me in, did you? All that stuff you told me – your dad, your ex – like you want me to know. Like you’re lookin’ for me to do somethin’ about it. And then when I try, you slam the door closed again.”
“I don’t…I don’t want you to do anything about any of it,” you cry, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes.
Lie number one.
“Then what do you want? Tell me, pretty girl, ‘cause I’m – I’m at a loss here.”
“I want you to – fuck, Joel, why can’t you just –? I want you to back off.”
Two.
“I can’t,” he whispers, leaning closer. “’s the thing. I care ab– I lo– I…”
He rubs his eyes with his palms. Maybe his head hurts as bad as yours does. Maybe the office is becoming too bright for him to look, too.
“You think you’re broken,” he mumbles, “you think all that stuff makes you – I don’t know, what is it? Unlovable?”
There’s a spotlight creeping over you – bright white and burning. Lighting every inch of you up, every dark shadow uncovered. The monsters and the phantoms and the six, eight, twelve-legged beasts scuttling off in search of refuge.
Jeers and cackles from an audience behind him as he cranes the neck of the lamp and positions it right on you.
“Don’t –”
“…Worth nothin’? I don’t know, angel, but I can’t do anything about it if you won’t let me, and –”
“Joel –”
He’s not listening. He never fucking listens. He’s still going on, but your ears are ringing, and your vision is whitening, and your chest is constricting, and your throat is dry and your lungs are closing and your skin is hurting and your –
“What the fuck did you even expect?” you hiss, before your brain catches the words.
Joel halts. He finally stops talking. The room finally dims again. You can hear cars on the street. Your phone is ringing at your desk.
You repeat your question, quieter. Heavier. “What did you want from me?”
He’s frozen. Looks concerned. Looks…afraid of you. “I never wanted anything from you,” he says.
“No? Sure sounds like you wanted something.”
He doesn’t say a word. It gives you time, you think – time you know you should put into backing up, thinking it through, not saying it. But you don’t do any of those things. You fucking say it anyway, don’t you? You are your father’s daughter. The anger is woven into your skin, ivy around your bones. The fire behind your eyes isn’t love, or passion, or determination.
It’s rage.
“Is this what you did to Avery? This why you didn’t wanna marry her?” And then, steeling yourself, gritting your teeth: “What secrets were you keeping from her, Joel?”
He still doesn’t bite. Avery’s not the sore spot, and you know it. There’s a different weakness to him, now. Newer. She’s stood right in front of him.
“I mean,” you scoff, incredulous, “what did you think – that we were gonna end up married or something? AC/DC first dance? Big wedding in Italy, three kids and a fucking prenup to save your ass ‘n your millions?”
You swear you hear the crash from here. The bear hitting the ground, or the door of the Toyota slamming shut, or Joel’s heart falling apart, maybe. He gathers it up, sweeping it into his hands with what little dignity you’ve left him with, straightens, and –
He’s angry. Looks it, sounds it. Feels it. A way you’ve never seen him before – not directed at you, anyway. Accounting, when they fuck up the budget for the year. Jean-Marc, when he flirts with you too much. Never you. He’s never this mad at you.
Like kids in a playground, coming up with the worst, most poisonous insults to throw at one another – your words swing fast, and he only just manages to swerve them, hitting straight back with a punch made up of his own.
“Naw, you’d probably say yes to my face ‘n then break it off two days later, wouldn’t you?”
It’s low. It stings. Shocks the life back into you, once it’s looped twice around your ears.
Joel knows it. Sees the glint in your eye before you have the chance to clear away the tears. Hears the tiny gasp that escapes your lips. The bear just stepped right on top of the snake.
“Fuck,” he says instantly. As soon as the sentence leaves his mouth, he’s undoing it. “That wasn’t – I didn’t mean…” He’s stepping forward, trying to wrap his hand around your arm. “Baby, I’m so sorry –”
Your wrist slips from his grasp. “Don’t – don’t touch me. Don’t.”
“Hey,” he says, almost cooing, almost trying to fan the burn with light breaths, “look at me. Please look at me. I did not mean that, alright? I was just –”
You shake your head, staring off past him. “It’s fine, Joel. No, I knew exactly what you meant.”
He staggers backwards, running his hands through his hair; almost growling into his palms when he drags them down his cheeks. “Darlin’,” he says, and leans in again. He speaks slow and seriously. “I would give you anything. There is not a thing in this world that I wouldn’t do for you. I would do anything. In the whole damn world. This is – It’s not –”
“Anything?” you ask, your stone-set gaze refusing to meet his.
He mirrors your curious expression, his own brows lifting. He can’t believe you’re even asking him. “Yes. Anything. I care about you more than anyone in the fucking world.”
He probably says more to convince you. Probably promises a load of stuff, apologizes a couple more times. Probably says sentences that would lodge themselves between your vertebrae and paralyze you with fear, if your hearing weren’t muffled and your mind elsewhere.
Your shoulders tighten. Jaw ticks. When you pull your eyes to finally meet his, you nod. “Alright,” you interrupt, pursing your lips, “okay.”
“Okay?”
Another nod. Yeah. You’re about to do this. Father’s daughter aren’t you just your father’s daughter always running out always running off –
“This is over. It’s done. You don’t look at me, you don’t touch me, you don’t talk to me unless it’s somethin’ in your job description or mine. Hell, even then – see if Martha can do it before you ask me. We’re done.”
It wipes him clean. Every thought, every desire, every motivation – gone. Dissolved, by the venom seeping from your fangs. No more bear. He stares back at you, eyes glossy, lips trembling. He flattens them against one another, steadies himself. Angry, upset, fucking – heartbroken.
“Is that what you want?” he asks. His voice breaks. It sends a blade through your chest.
You hesitate. Your eyes are searing. Between your tears and the nauseating tilt of the room, you can barely see him.
The third lie rolls from your tongue like a marble.
“Yeah. It’s what I want.”
And you know it, better than anyone: you’re lying through your fucking teeth. The way you have been this entire conversation. Pasting over wounds and scars, bricks laid over sodden sand foundations. But you’re petrified – stood on your own, fighting your own corner. The only person who ever managed to make you feel safe, calm you down, lower your gloves for you – now stood opposite with his fists up, too.
Joel nods. Anything in the whole damn world.
“Fine,” he says, eventually. “Fine. We’re done.”
717 notes · View notes
norrisleclercf1 · 9 months
Text
Together again
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slight Angst, Fluff,
Words: 3.0K
Requested: Yes/No
Request: hi, so I was scrolling through tiktok and I came across this video that McLaren posted and it's the sweetest thing ever. I saw it and it reminded me of you. here's the link: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM2qVvpdT/
I thought that maybe you can use it for the "Our Boy" series, like Elijah running to hug Lando
Synopsis: You'd given birth to your beautiful baby girl Cécile, and now the boys schedules for races as picked up. Elijah really misses them, so when you plan a surprise with the help of the grid, you knew it was worth it
Timeline: Elijah is about 4, Cécile is 3 months old
Our Boy Masterlist / Our Boy / The Hunt for Fruit / Hey Dad
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Just…..keep sending us pictures," Lando begs, holding his phone as he waits to board another flight with Charles. "Of course I will, baby; Elijah and Cécile miss Daddy and Papa a lot." You smile sadly.
"Yeah, what about Mommy?" Lando asks, pulling that sad smile into a happy one as you shake your head at his childish behavior. "Yes, I miss you too." Charles comes up, sees you on the screen snatches the phone.
"Hey!" Lando moves to grab his phone, but Charles smacks his hand as he smiles at you, his hat hiding most of his face. "Are you doing okay? Getting sleep? Eating?" Charles was worried about leaving you with a now 3-month-old and a 4-year-old.
Charles and Lando were very hands-on with the kids, and now being gone for almost a month because of their wild schedule, they just wanted to come home and hug their children.
"Yes, Charles, your mother, and Lorenzo are coming over every other day. They are helping around a lot. Also, tell Lando that his grandparents just finished their visit, and they want the kids there one summer when they're older." Lando's head pops in, smiling brightly.
A woman's voice announces their flight is boarding, letting them know they must head to Hungary. "Go before you miss your flight." Smiling at the camera, the boys give their love and hang up.
Sighing, you put the phone down, looking at Carlos, who is currently playing with Elijah. "They have no idea you're here." You announce. The Spaniard chuckles, having told his teammate and best friend that he would fly out later than them.
A family emergency is the excuse they gave as to why he wouldn't be flying with them. "Good, they haven't been themselves. Being away from the kids, it's hard on them." Making a face at Elijah, who giggles, throwing himself into Carlos.
Through the baby monitor, you hear a slight whimper; Cécile, she's awake. "I'll be right back." Bending down, you kiss the top of Elijah's head, who giggles.
Smiling, you turn, heading down to the nursery. Opening the door, you coo, seeing your little girl awake and wiggling around. "Good morning, my little starfish. Did you sleep well?" Cécile squeals, showing off a gummy smile as she shakes her hands.
Laughing, you pick her up; she woke due to being hungry. Grabbing a soft mini blanket, you cover yourself up. She latches with ease, walking back to the main living room you see Elijah watching an interview.
"It's Papa!" Elijah squeals, seeing Charles come into the frame. Carlos ruffles the boy's hair, packing bottles, diapers, and everything you'll need to travel. "Thank you for doing this." Adjusting Cécile, who kicks her little foot out, at the movement.
"You're welcome; it'll get them to stop whining and showing us every photo you take. Better to have the real thing than a phone shoved in our faces. "They've never been away from us this long. Now that Cécile is here, they don't like being gone this time." Elijah laughs, watching the interview and smiling brightly.
"I miss you, Papa." Carlos and you stop what you're doing hearing the statement. "Yeah, don't tell Charles that." You sigh. Charles would never leave again if he heard Elijah talking to the TV, saying he was missing him.
"Elijah, we're going to see Papa and Daddy." Pulling your daughter off, you get yourself adjusted and start to burp her. "Really?" Elijah gasps, whipping around, his face bright and filled with love.
"Yes, that's why I'm here. Me, Uncle Max, Uncle Oscar, Uncle Pear, and Uncle Danny have been helping your Mama surprise Daddy and Papa." You swear Elijah starts to vibrate. He's so happy. "He's going to combust." You giggle, seeing how your son's reaction.
"Now, Elijah." Carlos bends down to his height, stopping the boy's bouncing. "I've packed your bag; it's in your bedroom. Go grab it for us, and then we can leave." Elijah nods, bolting off, still hearing his happy squeals.
"This will be a long flight, won't it?" You don't answer Carlos's question; he would find out for himself.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carlos was smart enough to tire out Elijah on the flight, so the boy was asleep in his arms. You were going through backways so no fans would know you and your children were here.
It was hard not to answer Lando's and Charles's texts, calls, facetime, and everything. You even turned off your location, something you never do. It's the only way you'd be able to surprise your partners.
Being away is hard, waking to Lando's kisses and the smell of Charles cooking breakfast, Cécile, and Elijah already up and ready for the day. A month was too long for them not to be home, and it worried you that Elijah would think they were leaving too.
Carlos was quick to get you up and into your hotel room. Laying Elijah down, Carlos makes sure he's comfortable before helping you with Cécile, setting up her travel bassinet.
Clicking in the last piece, a knock comes on the door; you stare at each other, confused about who it could be. "Did you order room service?" Voice a whisper, Carlos shakes his head no.
Quiet steps, he looks into the peephole and sighs. "It's Pierre." Carlos's face contorted to annoyance, the two still fighting over something no one knew the real reason for. "Let him in." You laugh, the Ferrari driver huffs and opens the door.
"Where's my goddaughter?" Pierre giggles, dancing on his toes. Cécile gurgles, hearing a familiar voice; hearing her, Pierre goes straight to her, scooping her little body into his arms. "Hello, gorgeous." Pierre coos, making sure her head is supported.
Elijah whines, squirming around before still mouth wide open and cheeks puffy. "Cécile, you look just like your Papa." Pierre praises, hearing this Carlos rolls his eyes, scuffing. "She is Lando, look at her eyes," Carlos argues.
This was the source of the argument. Carlos swears up and down that Cécile is Lando's because of her eyes, but Pierre says she's Charles because of her hair and nose.
"Boys, she's both of theirs. Stop." You chastised their fighting would wake Elijah, and you didn't want to deal with a cranky toddler who would wish for his fathers. "If you think she's Lando's, you're delusional," Pierre whispers; Carlos opens his mouth to reply.
You turn, giving the most mother stare-down in history. They freeze, staring back at you. "You know what? She looks more like you, Y/n." Carlos praises, smiling brightly. "Is this why you two are fighting? You're both her godfather. Does it matter who her father is?" You hiss as Elijah flips onto his stomach, spread out on the bed.
"No." They both grumble, dropping their heads in shame. "Stop, or I'll ask Daniel and Max to be the godfathers." You threaten. "How was the flight? Was Elijah okay with it?" Pierre asks, passing your sleeping daughter off to Carlos, who starts to sway from side to side.
"He was fine; Carlos tired him out, so he'll be fine in this time zone." You explain, pushing hair out of your son's face. Pierre smiles, comes to your side, and bends to look at Elijah. "Charles and Lando have missed them, but they're getting worried." My throat tightens, feeling guilty at ghosting them.
Back home, they'd call to read Elijah a story for his bedtime. You jump, hearing the loud vibrations of your phone. Picking it up, a picture of Charles fills the phone.
"It's Charles. He always reads a bedtime story to Elijah. Not answering this feels wrong." Pierre moves, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and squeezing you into his side. "I know it's hard, Y/n.
But, he'll get to hold you and the kids again tomorrow." Pierre comforts you; he knows this is hard. He was missing Kika, as she wasn't able to join either.
"Yeah, they'll be pissed, but the reward will be worth it." Carlos lays Cécile down, giving her the little sloth stuffy he gave you when she was born. "But…..I've been ignoring them all day. The last time I went this long without talking to them was because we were on a break. It shattered Charles and Lando." Watching the call fade out leaves you with that daunting missed call notification.
"Hey, hey. Don't think like that." Pierre moves, hugging you. He's always been jealous of your family, how you three can't be without each other. He was shocked when he first heard that Charles and Lando were dating you.
He never knew that Charles even had a small family. Everyone in the world just believed that Elijah was Charles, biologically. So, when Pierre discovered that Elijah wasn't his and from a previous relationship, he became protective of Charles.
When he came over one night and saw how your family worked, he backed off, watching his childhood friend become a father. After a while, Lando joined, and this had everyone on edge.
Were you and Charles broken up? Did you love them both? What was going on? When Pierre noticed a change in the small family, he saw a missing piece fit perfectly.
"Uncle Pear?" Pierre pulls away, seeing Charles's eyes blink up at him. "Hey, buddy." He smiles, seeing Elijah sitting up, awake. "Uncle Pear!" Elijah squeals, flinging himself off the bed, happy to see him.
"Elijah, shh, you'll wake your sister." Your son giggles, hugging Pierre tight. "Sorry, Mommy." "It's okay, baby." Kissing your son's forehead. "Where's Papa and Daddy?" Elijah looks around the small room, his smile slipping off, not seeing them. "You're going to see them later; we're going to surprise them," Pierre explains, but Elijah whines.
"No." Pierre sits Elijah down, who starts to pout; a tantrum is brewing inside your small son. "You said we'll see them today! I want Daddy and Papa." Elijah's eyes grow glossy and wide, tired of not seeing his fathers.
"Elijah, don't cry." Carlos moves, sitting on the bed and pulling the young boy to his side. "You'll be seeing them, I promise. Would we and Mommy lie to you?" Carlos asks, rubbing Elijah's side. "No." He whispers, dropping his head.
"Exactly, now." Carlos stands, untucking the bed, helping Elijah lie in bed. "Go back to sleep. When you wake, we're going to see Papa and Daddy." Elijah nods his head, watching his two Uncles as they say goodnight to you, his sister, and then him.
"Bye." You wave as they sneak out of the room, careful not to get caught. "Mommy?" Elijah stares up at you from his bed. The huge bed engulfed his little body. "Can you read me a story?" The guilt hits you in full force again.
Elijah thought he'd see his Daddy and Papa, and they'd read him the story. Instead, you had to. "Of course, my little star." Slipping your shoes off, you climb into the bed, lying beside your son.
"There was once a little boy whose favorite color was red, and he wanted to make everyone proud when wearing it."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"He is just a little ball of energy, isn't he?" Daniel asks, clicking Cécile into her little backpack he'd be using to carry her. "Yes, when he woke, he kept asking, Can we go? Can we go?" Watching Elijah bounce on the bed.
He picked out his outfit, wearing a McLaren hat, Ferrari shirt, and some other stuff making sure he was supporting his fathers and uncles.
"Can we go?" Elijah asks; Daniel snickers, pulling a small hat on Cécile's head to ensure she doesn't get hot. "Elijah, if you ask again, I'm taking us home." Voice stern.
He bounces one more time, then stops sitting on the bed. He knew you were serious and didn't want to see that threat through. "Thank you, now. What do we say to Uncle Danny?" Snapping on Elijah's shoes. "Thank you, Uncle Danny." Daniel clutches his chest, faking pain.
"He's so cute, I'll die." Daniel gasps. "Don't die!" Elijah cries, startling Cécile, who starts to cry. "Whoops." Daniel chuckles, moving fast to comfort the little girl on his chest.
"Alright, let's go before anyone else starts to cry." Helping Elijah off the bed, you grab his hand. "Rule check." You announce, Elijah looking up at you.
"No running off; always stay with Mommy or Uncles." Your son rattles off, and you grab the lanyard, placing it around his neck. "And what else?" You ask, smiling. "Surprise, Daddy and Papa!" Elijah yells happily, his little body shaking with excitement.
"Good boy." You praise, holding his hand. Slipping away from the crowds, you get into an unmarked car. Cécile makes noises as Daniel explains everything to her, telling her every little detail of what today will be.
"Mommy! Look, we're here!" Elijah claps his hands, seeing the track and the familiar gates come into view. "Pierre, Max, and Carlos have been able to slip away; they're going to meet us at the front gate," Daniel explains, pulling your daughter's hat down.
You're thankful for Daniel doing that. The 3 of you weren't ready to show off your daughter's face, and the drivers told the media not to take pictures of your daughter.
"Alright, let's go." You grab the diaper bag, helping Elijah out, he runs around your feet. "Uncle Maxie!" Elijah laughs, seeing Max talking to Carlos and Pierre.
Max turns around, hearing someone call him; the wind is knocked out of him when a little body collides with his stomach. "Elijah!" You gasp, shouting apologies to Max, who waves you off, saying it's okay.
"He's just so happy. It's fine." Max laughs, picking up Elijah and hugging him close. "I missed you, but I missed Daddy and Papa more." Elijah laughs, hugging Max again, who smiles at the boy's excitement. "Little star, are you ready to see Daddy and Papa?" You ask, knowing that they are already inside.
"Yes!" Elijah gasps, face lighting up. "Welp, let's go." Carlos points off to the distance, making everyone laugh. "Here, let me take her." You unclasp the pack, grabbing your daughter, who still sleeps, and nuzzling into your neck.
You keep your distance, watching as Carlos leads Elijah through the paddock. Looking around, your eyes latch right onto him, his curls wild, bright orange shirt and black jeans. "Elijah." Grabbing your son's attention, you point out Lando.
"Daddy." Elijah gasps, tears gathering in the boy's eyes. He takes off, zipping through people. Making your way over, you watch as the McLaren media person notices Elijah, quick to turn on his camera. Elijah grabs onto Lando, who stutters, shocked at someone touching him. He glances, not seeing the face, but stands still for a picture as the little boy looks up at Lando.
"Daddy!" Elijah cries, tears falling down his face; Lando stands there, shocked. "Elijah? Oh god, Elijah!" Lando shock wears off fast; dropping to his knees, he gathers his son into his arms. "Daddy! I've missed you!" Elijah sobs into his father's arms.
You, too, must wipe tears from your eyes, seeing Lando on the ground, holding Elijah tight. "Buddy, what are you doing here?" Lando pulls away from Elijah, shocked as he wipes tears from his face. "It's a surprise, Mommy said." Pointing at you as he flings his arms around Lando's neck.
"Y/n? Oh, baby." Lando stands, still holding Elijah as he pulls you into his arms. "Cécile, oh, my baby." Lando laughs, and a fresh set of tears fall. "Hi." You laugh, sniffling as you adjust Cécile, who whines, being squished.
"Elijah, buddy. I got to set you down, okay." Lando places his son down, quickly gathering you in his arms and kissing you softly. He pulls away, grabbing Cécile and placing kisses all over her face.
"Oh, Daddy has missed you so much, both of you." Lando gasps, pulling Elijah into the hug as well. "I'm going to lie down on the track; maybe this will end my torment." Daniel jokes, the others rolling their eyes and laughing.
"Does Charles know?" Lando kissed Elijah on his head, refusing to let the boy go. "No, we found you first." Grabbing Cécile, who whines loudly, reaching out for Lando, who laughs, grabbing her again. Laying her head on his shoulder, Lando's large hand covers her entire back.
"Come on, he's in the garage." Lando holds Elijah's hand, pointing everything out, where they can go and what they can do. Lando even shows Cécile off to some passing workers. "Alright, there he is. I think you should go up and hand him Cécile." Lando whispers, handing her back to you.
Nodding, you move around the garage, everyone smiling, seeing who the random person is approaching their drivers. "Charles? Do you mind holding Cécile?" You ask. Charles hums and grabs his daughter, not even batting an eye.
You see the moment he stops, looking down at the baby pulling on his necklace; his head turns slowly to look at you. Shock fills his eyes as he faces you. "Y/n? What? You didn't answer my phone calls!" Charles accuses, which has you laughing, hugging him tight.
"Shut up! I didn't want to ruin the surprise." You mumble into his neck as his free arm wraps around you, pulling you close. "Papa! My turn!" Elijah shoves his way between your bodies, Lando laughing as he takes Cécile so Charles can hug Elijah properly.
"It is your turn, my little ducky." Scooping Elijah into his arms, they hug each other tight, Elijah melting into his Papa's arms. "I missed you, don't leave that long again." Elijah whimpers, burying his head into Charles's chest.
"Never. We're never going to be gone that long again." Charles swears, pulling you and Lando into a hug. "We're back together; we'll never be apart again," Charles whispers.
And he held that promise to truth; the 5 of you were never apart again.
1K notes · View notes
matrixbearer2024 · 2 months
Note
I really love you "Get off my screen" series! And I just and couldn't stop thinking about Reader just texting out of nowhere saying "Bruh I'm fucking dying"
And Vox is just going haywire(See what I did there?) Worried about you and ask what they mean and Reader be like "I'm dying because of BOARdom(Get it?)
You're Just Being Mean!
A/N: Omg I am absolutely writing this AHAHAHAHA- Vox is always the one screwing with dear Reader so I think it's about time to return the favor. Thank you @crazylzp143 for the inbox idea! I love how much this story is expanding and the ideas y'all have for it. As always, I hope you all enjoy this filler interlude and please keep the ideas coming! Happy reading!
You cheered, flopping backwards on your bed in a cheerful mood.
On your computer monitor was an empty assignment box.
You'd successfully accomplished all your required tasks before the semester's end which left you with a whole lot of free time to burn.
And did you absolutely just unwind and relax.
Playing games, watching movies, bingeing shows-
You practically spedran the chill pill treatment.
To the point where you managed to bore yourself before the day was even over.
You stared up at the ceiling with an annoyed look-
Wasn't there really anything else you could do?
And why did time pass by so slowly?
God you were bored.
In the middle of your TV show binge, your phone buzzed to life.
Considering you'd quickly found the plot line to be quite a drag, you just let the drama play while you no longer paid attention to it.
The white noise the show provided helped make it feel like you were actually doing something.
Even when you knew you weren't doing anything productive at all-
Looking over at your phone, you smiled upon opening the familiar chatbox that you saw almost daily.
"Heya Voxxy, what's up?"
"Well aren't you in a good mood today! Anything special?"
You playfully rolled your eyes, Vox really thought he was being cheeky this time wasn't he?
"Managed to complete all my work for the semester, so now I can just chillax until exams come around!"
"Wait what? Holy shit! You've got a whole two weeks of nothing then!"
"IKR! I can just laze around and do what I want after class hours!"
It wasn't surprising that Vox quickly got used to your schedule, you'd also grown slightly accustomed to his.
He knew the basic rundown of your schedule, like when your classes started and ended-
Just as much as you knew when he had to leave for his daily broadcast and when he would come back.
You could only guess him knowing when exam season happens was from looking at the calendars and schedules you had meticulously prepared in your computer.
There were times he would even remind you of things due on a day, like quizzes or projects to which you would grow embarrassed that it slipped your mind.
You were the one who made the calendar, how could you forget it???
Though it was probably helpful on his end that he quite literally had a digital reference to look back on.
You still wondered sometimes how he managed to end up with a TV for a head but didn't look into it much.
"Guess that means you'll be spending more time with me?"
"Dude, I already spend so much time with you! Any more and I'd have to call you my boyfriend!"
That message really shouldn't have caused Vox to bluescreen but it did.
He was just so flustered that his system crashed in it's entirety because of what you said.
Not that you noticed when all you got in reply was some keysmash and middle finger emojis.
Vox could only imagine you were laughing at his expense, and even then he couldn't bring himself to be annoyed with you.
It was only recently that he'd become hyper aware with how much you meant to him so jokes and comments like that easily sent his mental careening.
Not that he quite understood why he felt this way yet, a part of him still blamed some unknown untraceable malware that your devices shoved into his system.
Though he highly doubted that a stupid virus would make his stomach do flips whenever he saw your silly smile.
Oh whatever, he'll just have to run another malware check later or something.
You just continued to tease Vox for a good while before he had to excuse himself and leave for a meeting.
He was slightly glad that he had just a little respite from your teasing onslaught.
Any more of it and there was a high risk he would've accidentally caused another citywide blackout.
You tossed your phone onto an adjacent cushion and just laughed.
No wonder Vox liked to embarrass you so much.
It was downright hilarious and entertaining.
You couldn't help but feel slightly flattered with his reactions though, was your friendship that important to him?
So he really did care after all, what a dork.
The funny high you were running on, much to Vox's chagrin, didn't last long.
So you decided to go back to fucking with your TV headed companion since he usually did the same to you.
"Dudeeeee I'm fucking dyingggg-"
Vox made the mistake of checking his phone in the middle of the meeting and nearly gave himself a stroke upon reading your message.
What in Lucifer's name even happened?!
Last he checked you were completely fine???
He hadn't even left you for-
Taking a look at his internal clock, Vox glitched from sheer panic.
It hadn't even been an hour!
Was this supposed to be a joke??
Were you just fibbing with him?
Or god forbid you were actually hurt and needed help-
He was about to just bolt out of that meeting before another messaged snapped him out of it.
"I'm dying- dying of BOARDom! HAHA see what I did there?"
Vox felt the last of his patience leave him as rings appeared on his other eye.
The absolute nerve of you-!
"Oh fuck off (Y/N)."
With that, he angrily pocketed his phone and once again paid attention to the meeting.
The poor presenter in the front nearly shat himself from how irritated Vox looked, they didn't know that frustration was because of you though.
You just couldn't stop laughing at his reply, not realizing how badly your overlord friend took the joke until some noticeable time passed and there wasn't a single message or notification from him.
Now that started to concern you.
You'd be lucky to get through an hour with less than a hundred notifications at a time-
It's been two and there was still absolutely nothing.
Did something happen?
Was he upset or dealing with something?
Perchance... did you do something to upset him?
"Vox...? Hey, you good dude?"
You grew more concerned as the minutes ticked on.
Whatever it was- Vox was probably genuinely upset.
And you had a gut feeling it had something to do with you.
"I'm not talking to you."
You almost wanted to roll your eyes at his message, was he being childish?
So your hunch was right, you did manage to upset him- somehow.
"Ehhhh??? Why? What did I do?"
"You know what you fucking did (Y/N)."
Not really- that's why you asked.
Your hands dropped onto your lap tiredly as you looked up towards the ceiling.
What... what did you do wrong?
Scrolling up to read your chats, it didn't take long before you realized where it went wayside.
Oh.
"Right, you don't really like it when I joke about dying huh."
"No."
"You never really told me why, and you never cared this much before. You would just laugh it off when I delivered the punchline."
"You're still young (Y/N). You have your whole life ahead of you. Dying puts you at risk of ending up here in hell with me."
"You know that doesn't sound as horrible as you paint it right?"
"Pardon?"
"I'll end up where you are, that can't seriously be that bad."
Vox genuinely wondered if you had a screw loose or something this time.
He continued to try hammering it into you that it was hell he was talking about.
Eternal damnation, the never-ending inferno, etc.
Ya know, where all the sinners went to suffer??
But again and again you would just keep repeating-
"But I'll be where you are, it won't be that bad- it can't be that bad."
Until he finally understood what you were insinuating.
It wouldn't be so bad, because he was there.
He would be there with you.
At that point the state of hell or where you were wasn't important.
Vox could only chuckle at his own foolishness.
Not to mention just how oblivious you were to your own words.
"I guess. Just don't do that again."
"I'll try not to. Besides, if I croak and end up at the heaven gates- I'll put in a good word for you."
"You? In heaven? Nice joke dollface."
"Oh fuck you too Vox, I was being optimistic."
The tech overlord just rolled his eyes, there was a real risk that he could lose you soley because heaven would take you away but he didn't dwell on it.
You were still here texting him, cracking jokes and being your obnoxiously cute self.
You were still on the other side of the screen furiously typing up a comeback of why you would be able to get into the pearly gates.
Vox just chuckled, as long as you were with him in the here and now-
He found he wouldn't care even if hell froze over.
A/N: Our Voxxy is starting to catch feels, well- slightly- he's just in the stages of caring a bit too much but not realizing it's romance yet. Writing this stuff is hilariously entertaining, plus the slow burn is just yummy hahahahah I'll be putting out some more interludes tomorrow but the direct continuation is finished! I just need to post these things chronologically XD
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christinarowie332 · 5 months
Text
stupid horny fucks .
chris sturniolo x reader (smut)
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warnings: accidental dick pic lmao . smut ovs ? quick fuck . possible angst if u squint . possible series . not proof read
in which : chris accidentally sends his bestfriend a none PG photo …….. resulting in tears of tension being released…. but was it a mistake?
ps : don’t send unsolicited nudes , it’s weird as fuck . this is heavily fiction . don’t be a weirdo .
————
the room was a calm environment, me , nick, matt and chris all sat in dim lighting from the tv , my legs sprawled over nicks lap on the couch as we all relax in our shared space. this was a normal night for us all , a movie in the background, snacks and drinks arrayed out as we all engage in absent minded easy conversations. chris was quieter tonight. i notice as i allways do , subconsciously focussed on him , it’s hard not to be when your surrounded by things that remind you of him , and of course himself . i’ve always felt wierd with chris . it’s not all the time . 70% of the time he’s just an annoying, loud , funny , sweet friend . same with nick and matt . but that 30% , that’s something even chris himself couldn’t get out of me . god he’s attractive. the way his legs are spread , his sweatpants pressing against his dick , the shadow of his bulge basically begging to be touched. his fluffy hair , swept against his features , the loose curls lightly lay on his forehead. his sharp facial features being illuminated by his phone screen as he looks down to it , his pink lips puckered as he concentrates. god everything about him just makes my skin crawl , goosebumps literally growing on the skin of my arms at the thoughts that run through my head. the way his veiny hands would look around my neck. the low tank top he’s wearing , and how his sleek collarbones would feel on my lips . fuck .
i cross my legs on nicks lap , squeezing them together to relieve the growing tension between them . nicks head turns towards me , his confused expression catching my attention. “you good?” he asks , shifting himself on the sofa , his voice making matt and chris glance over at us .
“i’m fine , just getting comfortable” i send him a reassuring smile after speaking , all three of the brothers attention going back to the tv or phones . thank god . i try to distract myself from my thoughts (chris), pulling my phone from beneath my body on the cushioned seat . i open snapchat and start scrolling through my recent snaps , random guys , my friends , team snapchat (wow i have no life) . i start snapping them back , ceilings , selfies . chris . i open his snap and it’s just a normal photo of him , sexy as fuck ,but just a normal face snap , i send him one back and carry on with the rest of them .
after a while , i’m watching a instagram reel and get a chat notification from chris . i look up at him with furrowed eyebrows. “chris i’m literally in the same room as you why are u snapping me ?” i ask , waving my hand around with my phone in its grasp . he doesn’t look at me as he responds, his thumb still lazily scrolling on his phone. i roll my eyes beofre opening the chat . said eyes basically fall out of my head when i open it . i audibly gasp and my head shoots towards chris , making literally everyone look at me .
“sorry.” i replies to their stares , i watch all three of their attentions go back to their original places , before chris’s head snaps towards me , his eyes wide and jaw muscles clenched . the photo he sent me , was probably the last thing i ever thought i would see . his dick . in all it’s glory , veins decorated up the shaft , towards his tip , pre cum dripping down the side . it was fucking huge . i look down at my now vibrating phone in my hand , chris frantically texting me .
chris | I DIDNDTTT MENBA TO SEND THET
: DONT FUCKIJG SAY ANYTHING.
: Y/N
: OLESSE
: THAT WAS NOT MEANT FOR YOU
: bro i’m so sorry
: please just forget u saw that
: nah im actually sorry
it takes me a few seconds to contain myself . before i decide to text him back .
me | chris bro it’s literally fine .
chris | i’m so sorry
: i’m acc so sorry
me | chris .
: i said it’s fine .
chris | are u sure ? i’m so fucking sorry .
me | why are u sorry ???? that’s a nice ass dick .
why the fuck would i say that . chris’s bitmoji stops typing . and just stays still for a while before i see a new message.
chris | my room . five mins .
me | i’m going now . follow me idfc
i immediately get up from my seat , throwing to phone to the sofa and twlling the boys i’m going to bed . i make it to chris’s room in seconds , leaving the door open and waiting for him there . it’s a minute until i watch him speed into the room and slam the door behind him , walking towards me and grabbing my neck to slam his lips onto mine .
the kiss is fast and needy , clothes being torn off as our lips collide and tongues explore each others mouths . he leads me to the bed in just his boxers , and unclips my bra before dropping me onto his mattress . he watches the recoil from the springs in his bed make my tits bounce , a small smirk playing on his lips beofre climbing on top of me and attaching his mouth onto my neck .
he pries out small wimpers as he bites and sucks on my skin , leaving bruises up to my ear and over my chest , my hips thrusting forwards to reach his bulge , aiming for any friction as the tingling between my thighs intensifies .
“are you sure ?” he breathes into my neck , it’s like all i’ve been relying on is pure instinct, his words barley make it into my head and i’m drunk in his touch . “yes fuck , just hurry up and fuck me” i reply, lurching my hands to his face and bringing him up from my chest, reattaching our lips . his fingers make his way to my clothed pussy , his middle finger drawing circles over my swollen clit . his muscles contort as he moves , curved shadows against his pale skin . the veins running up his forearm from his slender fingers .perfectly smooth and sharp at the same time . “so needy……” he says moving his fingers upwards before putting them under my underwear, running his cold finger between my folds . “and so fucking wet” he continues, making his way to my clit with his fingers , making me lift into his touch and moaning at the sensation. he continues his movements placing his knee forward towards my heat , slowly prying my legs open so he has better access , slowly increasing the speed making me a whimpering mess underneath him .
he pulls his fingers away and swiftly takes off his boxers , pumping his dick a couple of times before placing the tip at my entrance and running it through my folds . “are u one hundred perfect sure?” he asks , i nod frantically, readjusting my self underneath him making myself comfortable. “words baby , you know i would love to fuck you sensless but right now i need your words”
“YES CHRIS JUST FUCK ME”. i raise my voice , i see his eyes flicker and an eyebrow raise before he slams into me , a smirk growing on his face as he watches me sink into the bed , all confidence gone as he pounds into me. “JESUS FUCK , fuck” i allmost scream as he thrusts into me, my hands slapping his back , nails digging into his back at the feeling .
his hair flops against his forehead at each thrust , groans and heavy breathing falling from his lips. his hands hold his up as he towers over me , silencing my own cries of pleasure with his mouth on mine still sloppily placing kisses on my lips before moving down my neck. “your doing so well , i’m so close baby i’ve wanted this for so- fuck” he breathes out as he keeps thrusting , each minute pulling energy and sweat from our body’s as we both edge closer to our release . my hands hold his shoulders pulling myself into him to deepen his reach into me , feeling his ruthless abuse of my g spot , not allowing any thoughts to come from my brain . quite literally fucking me senseless .
“FUCK , chris i’m so close , CHRIS don’t stop please” i plead to him , making his speed pick up . “me too mama me too , come baby please” he says as his finger moves towards my clit , the circles matching his thrusts as he eggs my release on . i feel his dick twitch inside of me , at this i feel myself completely release around him , loud moans being silence as his hand rests on my throat as he kisses me through my orgasm . moments later i feel him also topple over the edge fulling out and feeling warm strings of cum coat my stomach and chest .
he flops down next to , his chest heaving and loose curls wet slightly around his neck with sweat .
“what the fuck just happened” i say looking over to him
he just stares at the ceiling .
what the fuck just happened .
————
i’m so drunk rn this is such a mess .
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taglist :
@mangosrar @soursturniolo @biimpanicking @kvtie444 @kenzieiskoolaid @cabincorematt @urmyslxt @chrisenthusiast @mattsd0ll @iheart2021chris @recklesssturniolo @lovingsturniolo @loveesiren @paper-crab @daddyslilchickenfingers @strniohoeee @ermdontmindthisaccount @sturnphilia @bluesturniolo333 @lea0518 @chrisolivia4l @its-jennarose @kitaysworld @liz-stxr @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @mattslolita
———
side note : i love u all sm , like acc . sorry for the delay in the fics but i hate posting shit that’s half assed or rushed , and i like to make sure that my shits realistic to the boys . you know ? hope y’all still love me LMAO !!!
-🍼
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roosterforme · 7 months
Text
How You Play the Game Part 2 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: When Bradley doesn't hear from you after the first game, he thinks that's it. But you got his heart pounding and made him smile, and he wants to see you again. The realization that maybe something that perfect should be left as a one night stand hits him hard, but he wants to know if there could be more.
Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst and smut (18+)
Length: 5600 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x female reader
Check out my masterlist for more! How You Play the Game masterlist. Banner by @thedroneranger
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Bradley was laying in bed on Saturday morning with the New York times app open on his phone, scrolling to find your article. When his eyes settled on your name below the title, he tapped on it. The app took him to your full biography and a picture of you in front of Wrigley Field. 
You even looked beautiful in your stock photo image. He was tempted to save it to his photo gallery, but instead he skimmed your bio. You'd lived all over the country and played every sport imaginable as a child. You had graduated first in your class from Syracuse University, and you were undefeated at sports trivia.
The smile on his lips grew as he read the article that you must have submitted before your deadline last night. Your writing style was fun and entertaining, and you had even mentioned the comment he made about the catcher for the Angels. Bradley groaned and tossed his phone aside. He wanted to see you again.
But as he got out of bed and headed for his bathroom, he reminded himself that last night had one night stand written all over it. You were in California for work. You both said that hooking up like that wasn't something you normally did. He was sure you just did it for a bit of fun. Bradley was an idiot for catching feelings after a few hours with you, but it felt like he already knew you. Talking to you in person felt like reading your articles, because your writing matched your personality so well. Witty, intelligent, funny and charming.
"Chill the fuck out," Bradley told himself in the bathroom mirror. "It's done."
Then he spent the day trying to think about anything that wasn't sports related. He even took a ten mile run up along the beach to kill some time. And when Nat asked him if he was going to the Hard Deck, he decided that would help. 
But everyone there was wearing Padres gear and talking about that game one victory. And Bradley swallowed hard when he saw that Shannon was working behind the bar. He hadn't thought about her much recently, and she definitely hadn't crossed his mind at all when he'd been with you. But nevertheless, Bradley smiled when she greeted him.
"Hey, Rooster," she said with that grin that he was so used to. And she poured him a beer before he even asked for one. "You think you'll stick around for last call?" 
He watched her hand as she slid the beer across the bartop. "I'll let you know?" he asked, barely able to meet her eyes. 
"Sounds good. I'll start a tab for you."
He just nodded and turned to find the other aviators. Sleeping with Shannon tonight might help Bradley get you off his mind. But did he want to? He kind of liked the way warm thoughts of your voice and your smile kept bubbling to the surface. He could hear you asking him if he'd write back to a text from you. Honestly, he had been low key hoping you'd contact him today, and then he could have proven that he'd write back immediately, just like he promised. 
But he'd heard nothing. No text. No call. You hadn't done anything with his phone number. 
"What's your problem?" Nat asked, pinching his arm until he snapped out of it. "I asked you three times if you wanted to play pool with me."
"I'm not in the mood," he groaned, rubbing his arm as the TV screen caught his attention. They were playing World Series highlights and talking about tomorrow night's game. 
"Why are you pouting?"
He rolled his eyes. "Nat, I'm not pouting."
"You are. Is this because Bagman is flirting with Shannon?"
Bradley glanced over his shoulder and saw that Nat was correct. Jake was leaning on the bar, trying his hardest to get Shannon to smile. "Nah. I told you, that's just casual. Doesn't mean anything." He sipped his beer.
"Well whatever is bothering you, either tell me about it or get over it, because I want to beat Javy and Reuben at pool for once."
Bradley closed his eyes and told her, "I met someone at the game last night."
"No!" she gasped. "Tell me everything."
After he hesitated for a beat, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped on your name in the NYT app before handing it to her. He watched Nat as she skimmed the screen and examined your photo.
"Oh! You met her? Oh, shit....you hooked up with her!"
"Yeah," he grunted, glad that his best friend didn't need much help to figure out exactly what was going on with him. She never did. 
"You like her! Why can I so easily picture you happily married to a sports writer? You could have six kids, and each one would play a different sport. One would play softball, one would be a kickass hockey player, one would play soccer, you'd probably have a ballerina-"
"Nat," he said, cutting her off with a laugh. "I'm not going to see her again. I gave her my number, but I haven't heard from her." He turned back to the bar to find that Shannon was alone again. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if he stayed until last call.
"Bradley. She's probably covering game two! You could go back to Petco Park tomorrow."
"Yeah," he grunted. "She's definitely covering game two. She told me she was. Right after I gave her my number which she hasn't used. It was just a hookup, Nat."
"I'll buy you a ticket," she said, fishing out her own phone. "An early Christmas present."
"Don't you dare. The resale price is up to almost a thousand bucks for the nosebleed seats."
She sighed and said, "Fine. But you should still think about going."
----------------------------
After you spent most of your weekend in your hotel room doing research and writing, you decided to take a few hours off on Sunday afternoon. And it was during this time, when you went for a walk through Balboa Park, that you let yourself accept the fact that you'd been working like a maniac all weekend to try to keep your mind off of Bradley.  
Your hotel room smelled like his cologne or aftershave or maybe his laundry detergent. It was nice. Kind of comforting. You wanted to lay in bed with him until you smelled like it, too. But on Saturday morning, when you had thrown away the rogue condom wrapper, you decided it was better to throw away his phone number, too. You tried to rip that sheet out of your notebook since you no longer needed those stats, but you couldn't do it. Instead it was tucked away with your other work items, and you hoped you wouldn't cave and contact him.
After you took a shower, you grabbed your bag and your media pass and headed out early so you would have time to get some food when you got there. You liked that the ballparks usually served up local treats, and you'd get there in time to actually enjoy some fish tacos or a poke bowl tonight. You even thought about grabbing a local beer and drinking it on the main concourse before heading up to the box. You decided to go up and set down your computer and then find the beer cart.
But when you approached the narrow stairs that would take you up to the press box, you froze.
"Ace."
He was standing there, arms crossed and leaning against the wall, an earnest look on his handsome face.
"Bradley," you gasped as your heart thudded with excitement. "What are you doing here? Did you win another contest?"
"No," he said, shaking his head slowly. "I bought a ticket."
You knew the tickets were reselling at a premium price, and as he pushed away from the wall and dropped his arms to his sides, you asked, "Really? You're that much of a Padres fan?"
He shrugged and kind of shook his head, but your breath caught in your throat when he said, "You never texted me, Ace. I haven't stopped thinking about you for a single second, but you didn't text or call me."
He was close enough now that you could smell him, and you almost whimpered as your eyes fluttered closed. "You really wanted me to use your number?" you asked, meeting his eyes once again.
"Of course. That's why I wrote it down," he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Shit, I shouldn't have come here to see you." He was blushing profusely and looking at the floor. "You wanted that to be a one time thing, didn't you?" he asked, glancing up at your eyes with a slight grimace on his face. 
Well now you weren't so sure. You thought he had just written his number down as a tactic. It wouldn't have been the first time you had a guy see how far he could get you to go while making you feel like you had some sort of safety net. Making you think he was really into you. But maybe Bradley actually was?  
"Bradley, I-"
"I'm sorry," he muttered. "In an effort to not completely ruin the perfection of Friday night in my mind, I'm gonna go."
You watched him turn, and he made it about ten steps before you ran to him, reaching for his bicep. "Bradley, wait." When he stopped, you bumped into him, but he steadied you. You swallowed hard. He was so attractive, and you'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about him all weekend. Inviting him back to your hotel room again had been a fun fantasy you'd indulged in since late Friday night. "Do you want to sit with me again? In the box?"
He looked surprised now. "Yeah."
"Okay." You linked your fingers with his and led him back to the stairs. He still looked a little tentative as you added, "Let's go."
When you used your card to open the door, you made it halfway up the stairs before you paused and turned to look at him. He was one step below you, and your height just about matched up with his. He still looked a little surprised, but there was a soft smile on his lips now, and you wrapped your fingers a little tighter around his.
"To be clear, did you buy a one thousand dollar ticket so you could stand at the bottom of these stairs and try to see me again tonight?"
"Yes," he said clearly and without hesitation. You shook your fingers free from his and wrapped both of your hands around the back of his neck before leaning in to kiss him. Your nose brushed along the side of his as you felt the prickle of his mustache against your skin. And then his hands were on your waist as he welcomed you into his arms. He parted his lips for you as you dragged your fingers up into his hair. Then he broke the kiss long enough to rasp, "I like you, Ace."
You kissed his lips once more before running your lips along his mustache. He squeezed your waist a little tighter as the door opened behind him. When you saw that it was Raya, another sports writer, you took Bradley by the hand again and led him all the way into the box.
"Don't get into any trouble today," you whispered, pushing him down into the same stool he had occupied on Friday night. "I got you in with my pass."
"I'll be so good," he promised, looking up at you with eyes far too innocent for the rest of his smirking face. And somehow you doubted it.
-------------------------
Bradley couldn't keep his hands off you as you worked. He kept finding ways to trace little circles along your back. The pace of game two seemed to be a lot faster as the Angels got into a better groove against the Padres, and you were frantically keeping your stats as you typed away. 
"You want something else to eat?" he asked you between innings as you scribbled out some notes that he supposed must have made sense to you.
"Yes, please," you said, turning to smile at him. You watched Bradley stand, and he headed to the table lined with food. You seemed surprised that he had been sincere when he said he wanted you to text him. Yeah, he'd been joking around a little bit when he wrote his number down in your notebook, but he was kind of crushed when he hadn't heard from you. 
When Bradley turned to take the food back to that little spot you and he were sharing in the last row, he saw the reporter in front of you turn around and start giving you a hard time.
"You gonna bring your boyfriend to each game, New York?"
Bradley wanted to punch this asshole in the face, because who even made comments like that? But instead he watched you sigh dramatically and say, "At least I can get laid, Quincy. You're such a hater. Now turn around, I'm busy."
But Bradley did shoot Quincy a glare for good measure, and he didn't take his eyes off him until he had turned around. "More food," Bradley told you, setting the plate down where you could reach it without it being in your way. Then he settled onto his stool and draped his arm across the back of yours while you picked at the food. 
You kissed his cheek and whispered, "Thanks," just as the Padres hit a home run. Bradley desperately wanted to cheer, but nobody cheered in the press box, apparently. So he sat quietly while you updated your stat sheet and ate a taco. 
"Which team do you cheer for, Ace?" he asked, and you looked up at him with wide eyes. "You know, when you're not working and allowed to cheer."
Your lips parted in silence before you pressed them together, and then you said, "I never tell anyone my favorite teams."
Bradley examined your face for a beat. "You want to tell me, don't you?"
"Oh my god," you moaned, head tipped back. "Yeah, I actually do."
As Bradley shook from the laughter he was trying to hold in, you leaned in close to him. "You can tell me," he said, grinning. "I'll keep your secret."
You let your palm come to rest on his abs before sliding it along to his waist as you pressed your lips to his ear. "You can't tell anyone. Ever."
The feel of your lips on him, about to divulge something so important to your career had him pulling you closer. You laughed softly as your lips bumped his ear, and Bradley stifled a moan. 
"I won't say a word about it," he promised.
"My favorite team is the Toronto Blue Jays."
That was about to become Bradley's favorite team, too. Maybe he could go to a game with you when you were allowed to cheer. 
"Do you know what their mascot is named?" you asked as you eased yourself back into your seat. When he shook his head, you picked up your pencil and wrote in the margin of your stat sheet.
Ace.
Bradley laughed again. You had him smiling or laughing nonstop right now, and he couldn't believe it was already the eighth inning. It was getting late in the game now, but you were still writing. 
Do you want to come back to my hotel with me again?
And then he realized that this was the first time he'd thought about fucking you all day. 
Bradley leaned in close and kissed your neck a few times before he said, "Only if you save my number in your phone." Because as much as he'd been thinking yesterday about how good it felt to have sex with you, he wanted to hear from you when it wasn't a game day. He wanted to keep talking to you.
During the break at the end of the inning, you pulled your phone out and made a show of flipping to the previous page in your notebook and entering his phone number into your contacts list. Then you turned your phone screen away from him and typed something out, and he just waited to feel his phone vibrate in his pocket. When he did, he looked at his messages and saw that you had sent him a photo of you with the Toronto Blue Jays mascot. And you captioned it with: Be honest, which Ace do you think is cuter?
He typed out to you, I'm not sure if you knew this, but I'm wildly attracted to blue feathers.
When you looked at your phone again, your laughter was loud enough to have Quincy turning around and earning another glare from Bradley. And just as the ninth inning started, you texted Bradley one more time. I hope you replaced your wallet condom, Boy Scout Bradley. 
Truthfully, he had not. Getting lucky hadn't been his primary thought when he was just wanting to see you again. He muttered, "We're gonna need more than one, Ace."
And as your hand came to rest on his thigh, you tapped your lips with your pencil eraser. "I saw them for sale in the hotel lobby."
---------------------------
You couldn't remember feeling this way ever before. At least not with someone you barely knew. Bradley had your bag on his shoulder and he was practically carrying you across the parking lot as you laughed. You liked him a lot. He came back to see you again today. He was so funny and sweet, and you should have texted him on Saturday. 
"You seem very eager," you whispered against his cheek as you kissed him at the crosswalk. You were running your hands all over his shoulders and dipping your hands inside his Padres jersey. 
He picked you up to carry you across the street with the crowd of other pedestrians. "I'm hoping you'll show me your blue feathers tonight," he rasped, making you laugh even more. 
"I knew you liked the other Ace better!"
He kissed your neck, and once he had you inside the hotel lobby, he said, "No, you're my favorite."
"Condoms," you whispered, pointing toward the small convenience shop next to the front desk. Bradley set you down and grabbed up all ten double packs of condoms and dumped them in front of the young guy who was working at the front desk.
"Is that all you needed, sir?"
Bradley pulled out his credit card and handed it to him, looking at you while he said, "Well no, that's not all I need." His gaze was openly needy as he looked at your face, lingering on your lips. You felt warm all over, and when Bradley had all twenty condoms in his hands again, you hooked your fingers though the belt loop of his jeans and pulled him toward the elevators. 
"Let's go, Boy Scout."
Bradley groaned as the elevator door opened and you pulled him inside. He stood before you with your computer bag, so many packs of condoms and an erection that you could plainly see behind his zipper. You giggled and ran your thumbnail up and down his zipper as you said, "You're adorable."
He swallowed hard as you led him out on the top floor and down the corridor toward your room. "Ace? Baby?"
"Yeah?" you asked, unlocking the door as he stood behind you and let you feel him pressed to your lower back.
"Maybe you should finish writing your article first? I don't want you to get too close to your deadline again."
You opened the door and backed into the room, pulling him in with you. "No," you whispered before you kissed him hard. "I want you right now."
You grabbed one of the double packs of condoms from his hands, and he let the rest of them fall to the floor. The smile that you and he shared had your tummy doing somersaults as he gently set down your computer bag. You continued to back up slowly to the bed as he followed you. When you toed off your shoes, you watched him pause to pull his off as well. And then you were holding up the condoms and walking backwards across the bed on your knees until you reached the middle. 
Bradley was frozen, just staring at you with a crooked smile on his face and his hands on his zipper. "I'm waiting," you whispered. And then you weren't waiting anymore at all, because Bradley was on top of you, wrapping his arms around you as his weight pushed you down into the bedding.
You moaned into his kisses as you ran your fingers through his hair. He already felt, smelled and sounded familiar to you. He tugged on your shirt until he was kissing you through your bra.
"You don't taste like beer today," he murmured against your skin, teasing you with his mustache. 
"No, you managed not to spill," you replied, pulling your own shirt off as he unhooked your bra. His mouth was all over your breasts once he tossed your bra on the floor, and you were arching your back up against him. "You feel good."
He groaned into your skin while you felt him grind against your core through way too much fabric. "Ace." His hands were cupping your breasts as he let his lips drift down your belly until he was kissing along the top of your jeans. You unbuttoned and unzipped your pants and let him pull them down your legs. And then he was still fully clothed, giving you head just like two nights ago.
He was good at it, too. But when you started to touch your own breasts, he got distracted, lips grazing your clit as he watched you. When he lazily brought the pad of his thumb up along your slit and started teasing you, the sounds you made were so needy. You thought he could probably get you off like this if you wanted him to. 
But you sat up and made quick work of his jersey buttons while he slipped his index finger inside you. "Bradley," you moaned softly as he kissed your neck and finger fucked you. He just seemed to want to make you feel good, and your hands stalled as you pushed his jersey down off both of his shoulders. Your palms came to rest on his warm biceps, and you could feel his arm muscles working as he fingered you. 
"Tell me what you want, Ace," he grunted, stroking your clit with his thumb. He'd said that on Friday as well. 
"I want you naked and inside me."
He let you undress him then, and you took his cock in both of your hands. You watched him roll onto his back as you teased him with your fingers, running your nails down along his thighs. The veins in his neck were strained, and his cheeks were flushed as his eyes darted from your face down to your hands and back up. He was glorious. Huge everywhere. Tan and muscular and perfect. So hard and eager to please. 
When you straddled his hips and planted your hands on his shoulders, he pulled you to him, kissing your lips until you were laying flat on him. His length was gliding through your soaked pussy, and you moaned at the feel of him rubbing slowly against your clit. You mumbled his name, but he just kissed your lips harder, wrapping those big hands around your hips. 
With each little movement of your hips grinding against him, you were closer to fucking him, so you gasped, "Condom." 
"Mmhmm," he hummed, one big hand at the middle of your back while he reached blindly around the bedding in search of the small package. His lips were still soft and perfect on yours, unhurried as he handed you the condoms. You pressed your forehead to his as you fumbled trying to open one of them, and then you were sitting up between his legs, rolling it down his length, ready to go.
You guided yourself down around his cock, and he felt incredible, just like before. "Oh god," you whined softly, taking every inch of him while he grasped your thighs hard. 
"So pretty," he whispered, watching you fucking him. Soon you were riding him fast and rough, bracing your hands on his abs. You couldn't even talk or formulate words as you whimpered, because he was hitting that sweet spot inside you. With every movement you were getting closer, and Bradley looked like he was struggling to keep it together. 
You took his right hand, and brought it up to your mouth, sucking on his index and middle fingers to get them wet. "Baby, it feels too good," he groaned, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut. Then you guided his hand down to your clit, and you started cumming almost instantly. You held onto his wrist, rubbing your clit against his fingers with each stroke of your pussy along his cock.
Loud, incoherent noises filled the room as you came, riding him without finesse, head tipped back. And then Bradley was sitting up, right arm wrapped around your waist while he braced himself with his left palm on the bed. He whispered praise against your skin, pausing to kiss you as he thrust his hips up to fuck you as you came down from your high. "You're so hot. So good."
He sucked on your neck before his movements became jerky, and then he was chanting Ace! as he came too. He collapsed back against the bed with you held tightly to his chest, and you ran your fingers along his sweaty neck and up to stroke his jaw.
---------------------------------------
Bradley had nearly fallen asleep with your warm body draped over his and his soft cock still buried inside you. And then your phone alarm went off, and you were instantly scrambling to find your jeans amongst the pile of clothing on the floor.
"Shit," you muttered, glancing at him as you silenced your phone and checked the time. "I need to finish writing and submit my piece."
Bradley nodded and rolled onto his side and reached for a tissue to take care of the used condom. The last thing he wanted to do was go home now, but you had work to do, and he needed to be on base in the morning. He stood as you scooped his jersey up off the floor, but instead of handing it to him, you slipped it on. It fit you like a cute, little dress. 
"My article is almost done," you murmured, retrieving your bag from near the door where he had set it down earlier. He smiled as you stepped around all the other packs of condoms. "I just need to add in my stats and proofread everything."
"Okay," he whispered, unwilling to break the spell that he felt like he was under when he was in your presence. "I can head out." He started to reach for his undershirt and boxer briefs, figuring you could just keep his jersey if you wanted to wear it. 
But Bradley found himself wanting to ask if he could see you again. You saved his phone number this time, and while you were going up to Los Angeles for game three, he was hoping you'd be back in San Diego again. He was almost pissed now that the Padres were up two games to none in the World Series, because the more games that these two teams played, the longer you'd be in California. And LA was a hell of a lot closer to San Diego than New York City was.
As he held his clothes in his hand, you bit your lip and looked at him while your computer booted up. "You can stay. If you want?"
He froze, trying to process what you meant. "Stay?"
"Yeah," you whispered, taking him by the hand. "While I write."
He instantly dropped everything back to the floor as you pulled him to the desk chair. He sat down and then you sat on his naked thigh, entering your impressively long password and pulling up your mostly completed article. You flipped through your notebook to your stats sheet, and Bradley let his hand come to rest on your leg. 
"You wanna help me?" you asked, typing away. "Tell me when Soto was on third."
Bradley skimmed the sheet and found the information. "Bottom of the sixth inning. Right before Grisham hit a double." He leaned in and kissed your neck as you murmured thanks. 
"And when did Hill replace Darvish?"
Bradley read your sloppy notes and smiled. "Halfway through the seventh inning."
"Perfect," you whispered, and Bradley held you quietly as you scrolled to the top of your article and read it out loud. Your voice was captivating, and you somehow made the game he had seen in person even more interesting. He chuckled at the part where you mentioned how the Angels' coach had tripped coming out of the bullpen, and you smiled at him over your shoulder before you finished reading. 
"Damn, Ace," he muttered as you saved it one last time and logged in to submit the article. "That was brilliant." Bradley was getting hard again. Some sort of combination of what you said and how you said it turned him on. 
You closed your computer and laughed softly, nudging his erection with your knee as you turned in his arms. You glanced down at his cock, standing at attention for you, and Bradley could feel himself blushing. "Oh," you gasped, running your fingernails along his length as you grinned. "Eager again."
Bradley groaned and let his head tip back as you kissed his neck. "I think I'm always going to be eager for you. Talking about sports and wearing my Padres jersey are certainly helping."
Your laughter was his undoing as your lips met his warm cheek, and then Bradley watched your face as your pussy cradled his cock so that he was gently throbbing against your clit. "How many more condoms do we have?" you asked, fingers in his chest hair. 
"Nineteen," he replied, voice deep and raspy with need. 
"I'll be right back," you promised, kissing his lips before you stood and grabbed the unused condom from the bed. His jersey was open, offering him a peek here and there of your tits and belly as you moved. Then you were rolling this condom into place and straddling his hips on the chair.
Bradley pulled the jersey open wider so he could watch you sink around his cock. You felt like perfection, and the way your body looked as you took him was making him dizzy.
"You know," you sighed as he bottomed out inside you, "if the Angels start a different pitcher for game three, it could really throw off the Padres plans."
"Yeah?" he asked, stroking the soft skin of your waist as you rolled your hips. "Tell me more."
"Mmm, well, they've been following the same plan the whole season, right?" you asked, your lips grazing his as you spoke. 
"Yeah, they have," Bradley agreed, already ridiculously close as you fed him this brand of dirty talk.
"I think they should try something new and start Hermans instead," you whined, kissing him hard as you rode him.
"Are you trying to turn me on right now, Ace?"
"Yeah," you gasped as you fucked him harder. "Is it working?"
"You know it is, Baby," he groaned, grinding his hips up to meet yours. "Fuck, you already know how to make me wild."
Then you were gasping out pitching stats, your voice breaking as you rode him so well. Bradley was barely keeping it together, and then your fingers were in his hair, tugging at the roots. He knew what to do now; he licked his fingers and brought them to your tight clit, and your eyes went wide. 
"Yes!" you gasped, seemingly surprised that he had you cumming almost instantly. And the sight of your tits bouncing in his face was the last thing he saw before he sucked on your nipples and came hard.
His face was buried in the crook of your neck as his breathing evened out. He was trying to focus on your words, because they sounded very important. "If the Padres sweep the Angels, then I won't be back in San Diego. But if they go to a game six scenario, maybe we can see each other again?"
Yes, your words were very, very important. He wanted you to come back to San Diego, but he was determined to see you even if you didn't. "I could come up to LA. Get a ticket for game three. If you want."
You pulled away from him, and then Bradley was looking up into your surprised eyes. "Yeah?" you asked softly. 
"Sure, Ace," he mumbled, running his knuckles along the soft valley between your breasts. "I'd love to. But it's up to you."
Your voice was soft. "Okay."
Then Bradley kissed your lips and said what was on his mind. "We should keep doing this. Me and you. Until the World Series ends. Until you have to leave California."
He could feel your pussy squeeze his soft cock as you started kissing him and running your fingers through his hair. And a few minutes later, he had you in your hotel room bed, snuggling up with your back pressed to the front of his body as you both fell asleep. 
--------------------------
Bradley is out there dropping a cool grand just to try to verify if that was actually a one night stand or not. Thanks to @beyondthesefourwalls and @mak-32
PART 3
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whumpsday · 1 month
Text
Catharsis #1: Talking
Masterlist
content: robot whumpee, defiant whumpee, whumpee turned whumper turned caretaker, reluctant caretaker
new series!! i know every time i try to start a new series i end up bailing but this time i will not do that lol. tho kane & jim will still have most of my attention. i want to give a major shout-out to @sowhumpshaped, this series would not exist without it!
-
After extensive testing, the Catharsis Therapy Bot™ line of RoboCorp androids have been declared sentient, the third AI to receive the designation.
Long-criticized for both their basis in the unproven catharsis model of anger and their practice of design based on living, unconsenting humans, the Catharsis Therapy Bot line was marketed as a therapeutic tool which trauma victims could use to vent their frustrations. With top-of-the-line AI meant to simulate realistic reactions to would-be pain, the–
Luan switched the TV off just as his phone buzzed with a notification.
New email from RoboCorp Customer Support URGENT: Please see instructions regarding your…
He held the power button down so hard it left an impression in his thumb, the screen going dark.
The only piece of technology that mattered right now was in the closet, his power cord snaking under the door to reach the outlet just outside.
Technically, Luan didn’t have to do anything. The robot was off. That was probably what the email would have told him, anyway: leave the robot off, don’t touch it. He didn’t have to turn him on ever again. RoboCorp would probably pick him up, and that would be that. They’d never see each other again, both better for it.
He opened the closet door, the sight of the robot that looked exactly like him instantly leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. His hand curled into a fist on instinct, but he let it slowly open again.
The robot looked peaceful, almost like he was sleeping. Really, he’d be doing him a favor by just leaving him like this.
Luan reached down, pressed the button between his shoulder blades, and stepped back.
The robot’s eyes sprung open. He drew his arms up to his chest with a vicious glare, jerking away. “Fuck off.”
Luan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Okay. Jesus.”
He tried to slam the closet closed, but the stupid power cord got caught, cushioning the frame so the door swung right back out.
“Can’t even close a door right,” the robot spat, still huddled against the back wall like a trapped, feral cat. “Worthless, good-for-nothing piece of shit. How you’re in charge of anything is beyond me. I’m better than you, smarter, stronger, not that it takes much. You should be the dirt beneath my heel.”
“Watch it,” Luan warned, and that was all it took to make the robot flinch.
“You said you were fucking off?” the robot pressed, a desperate edge to his voice.
Luan slammed the door in his face, making sure to hold the cord down, and stormed off. Why did he even bother? The stupid thing was impossible to talk to. He wasn’t just designed to look like Cyrus, but to act like him, too. How was he supposed to deal with that? The robot wasn’t made for talking to.
Except. He was sentient. And he wasn’t Cyrus. And he was trapped in the closet, and Luan was pretty sure he could hear him crying, and he had spent the past two years beating the fuck out of him.
It wasn’t his fault, he reminded himself. He couldn’t have known. Robots weren’t supposed to be sentient. Out of the hundreds of thousands of unthinking, unfeeling robots in the world, why did it have to be his that wasn’t?
He sighed again, turning right back around and opening the door once more. The floor inside was wet, and it didn’t take much to figure out the robot had dumped his fluid tank just so he wouldn’t cry.
The robot flinched again. “What? What the hell do you want? I can’t even get two damn seconds without the sight of you spoiling my view!”
“Your view of the door?” Luan asked, raising an eyebrow.
“My view of the absence of your fucking face. Leave!” The robot picked a wooden hanger off the floor and reared his arm back to throw it, scowling when his safety features stopped him. He dropped it, grabbing a winter hat and tossing that instead. It poff-ed harmlessly against Luan’s stomach.
Luan took a deep breath, fighting the urge to get violent. He crouched down, putting himself at eye level. “I’m not going to hurt you, so just calm down.”
“You calm down!” the robot screamed. “That’s a lie! All you do is hurt, that’s all you barbaric humans know how to do!”
This wasn’t working.
Luan stood up, stepping out of the way. “Russ, go sit on the couch,” he ordered.
“It’s not fair! You said you would leave me alone!” the robot protested, even as he stood up and walked over to the couch, limbs moving against his will. As soon as he sat down, he grabbed a pillow and chucked that in Luan’s direction, too. He missed.
Luan could barely pick up that faint clicking noise the robot made when his system was trying to cry with no fluid, but it was there. He knew that sound well by now.
He sat down across from him, on the other side of the coffee table. “I need to talk to you. Just talking. That’s it.”
“You say that like talking to you isn’t its own torture. Release the command and leave me the hell alone,” the robot demanded.
Luan met him with a glare. “Do not tell me what to do. You know how I feel about–”
“I’m just talking,” the robot mocked, even as he shuffled back against the couch, bringing his legs up onto it with him, a fearful look in his eyes.
Oh, the robot knew exactly what he was doing. What he was asking for. It would be so easy, because that was where Russ and Cyrus differed: Russ couldn’t fight back.
The robot couldn’t hit him, stomp on his head ‘til he saw stars, kick him until something broke. The robot couldn’t deny him food or water. The robot couldn’t take a knife to him. The robot couldn’t even throw a glorified stick or disobey a direct order.
The robot was harmless. Safe. But god, did everything he said make Luan want to punch his lights out.
But this wasn’t Cyrus.
“You’re a person,” Luan blurted out.
Clearly, the robot hadn’t been expecting that. He slowly uncurled from the defensive position he’d contorted himself into. “Talk more.”
“There was–I’ve been trying to tell you. There was an announcement on the news today. Your model’s sentient. So I won’t be hurting you anymore. Release all commands.”
At that, the robot stood. Probably for no other reason than just because he could.
“You’re fucking with me,” the robot accused. His eyes were wide, dangerously hopeful.
Luan dug his phone out of his pocket, wordlessly searching RoboCorp and tossing it over. The robot scrolled through news articles from all manner of source, clamoring for clicks.
He picked one at random, reading the article with an increasingly smug, excited grin.
“I knew it. I told you! I fucking told you!” the robot shouted. “I told you and you never listened! But oh no, now that humans say the exact same thing, now you believe it. Finally!” His voice quieted, hushed with awe. “Holy shit, finally.”
The moment of wonder didn’t last long. The robot slid the phone back across the table, the scowl taking residence back on his face. “And what do you have to say for yourself?”
It was the exact sort of question that made Luan’s throat tight with fear, like his body itself wanted to stop him from potentially saying the wrong thing, especially coming from someone with Cyrus’s face. It was the exact sort of question Cyrus would have asked, standing over him just like that.
Luan wanted so badly to turn the robot off, like he always did when he got overwhelmed. But he couldn’t very well do that anymore, could he? The fragile power he’d held had slipped through his fingers the second he saw the announcement.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, not meeting the robot’s eyes.
The robot looked shocked for just a second, like he hadn’t expected even that much, then scoffed. “You can do better than that.”
Luan wanted to smack him. He hated that the robot was right.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, clearer this time. “You didn’t deserve anything I did to you. I didn’t know, okay?” Unlike the robot, he couldn’t hide his tears. “I wouldn’t have done any of that to a real person.”
“I’m a real person! I have proof!” the robot reminded him, the defensiveness returning to his voice.
“To someone I knew was a real person,” Luan corrected. “I’m sorry, Russ.”
“Apology not accepted.” The robot rolled his eyes, then sat back down, crossing his legs. “And don’t call me that anymore. My name is 1 now.”
“Like the number?”
“The number,” he confirmed proudly.
Luan wondered how long the robot had considered that his name. It was too sudden to just be thought of on the fly, right? Did the robot have a whole inner world he just never knew about, things he kept to himself to avoid having them used against him, just like he did with Cyrus?
This was better, though. It was easier if he didn’t share Cyrus’s name. “Fine. Hi, 1.”
“So, what now? I mean–I’ll be free now, of course,” 1 declared, trying to hide his nerves. “You will never touch me again. Oh, I want to go outside!”
“I should check that email,” Luan muttered, taking his phone back.
“I’m going outside.” 1 went to grab his charging cord, then made way for the door, glancing behind him to ensure he wasn’t being stopped.
“Oh, uh, I wouldn’t do that,” Luan cautioned.
1 whipped back around. “Why? Why not? I’m a person, just like you said! I’m free! I have never been outside in my entire goddamn life and I want to go outside, so I’m going the fuck outside!”
“You have a… very recognizable face.” One that Luan couldn’t even lock behind a door anymore.
“What? What do you even mean? So what?” 1 asked.
Luan only needed to type a ‘C’ into the search bar before it auto-filled with his most frequent, obsessive search. “How much do you actually know about Cyrus Mason?”
-
if anyone wants to be added to or removed from a taglist, just ask!
catharsis taglist:
@sowhumpshaped
@cupcakes-and-pain
@taterswhump
@softvampirewhump
@whumpspicelatte
@ladyblogofficialreporter
@whumpwillow
@not-a-space-alien
@a-crumb-of-whump
everything taglist:
@lilac-and-lemon-whumps
@t0rture-me
@whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump
@pigeonwhumps
@the-scrapegoat
@whumpycries
@lonesome--hunter
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andvys · 8 months
Text
I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 9
Tumblr media
Warnings: none. just pure fluff and only a sprinkle of angst. no Steve in this one, he will be back in part ten! It's not proofread very well so if you find any mistakes, just ignore it pleaseee
Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Your friends surprise you on Christmas night.
Word count: 5.6k
series masterlist
-
Halloween used to be your favorite holiday, Christmas used to be your second favorite. 
Now you can’t stand either of them. 
Both days remind you of him. 
Halloween reminds you of the heartbreak and the pain. 
Christmas reminds you of the happiness and the joy you used to feel when he was still yours. 
You used to celebrate it, but now it’s just a day filled with painful memories. 
You’re home alone, your mom was supposed to have the day off but an emergency call forced her back to the hospital. Now you sit in the lonesome living room with a box of Christmas cookies on the table. The room smells like pine from the christmas tree, the TV is on, the light of it illuminates the darkness in the room. 
You pull the soft blanket higher and lean your head on the pillows behind you. You stare blankly at the screen. It’s been three days since you shared your last day with Steve, you haven’t seen or heard from him ever since. He let go, just like you asked him to. 
There is still so much pain but the numbness overweighs it all right now. Minutes and days have passed yet you feel like nothing is moving forward. You are stuck in a vicious loop of self doubt and hopelessness.
A knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts and startles you a little, you sit up and push the blanket off of you. A second knock sounds through the house. Rolling your eyes, you get up from the sofa and leave the living room. You hear voices on the other side of the door and you instantly know who it is. 
You open the door and just as you had suspected, you find your friends standing on your porch. Chrissy, Heather and Eddie. You can’t help but feel surprised to see the three of them together. 
He is holding a brown bag, you can already smell the fast food. Heather is holding another bag that you can’t help but take a peek into, you see the Christmas themed wrapping paper right away. 
Chrissy and Heather greet you as excitedly as always. 
“Hey sweetheart,” Eddie grins, waving his fingers at you.
A smile tugs at your lips, you furrow your brows as you look at them. 
“Hi, what are you guys doing here?” 
You haven’t seen Heather and Chrissy since the night at the dance, they have been busy with Christmas preparations. Eddie was working on Wayne’s car with him and busy writing songs with Jeff and you were busy trying to get over some things. You open the door further and step to the side to let them in. 
“To spend Christmas with you,” Heather smiles and moves past you. 
Chrissy walks in next, looking at you with a bright smile on her face as she whispers hi again. 
“Hi,” you giggle. 
“We brought the best Christmas food,” Eddie jokes as he hands you the bag of fast food. He closes the door after he steps inside. 
“Benny’s burgers are the best,” you say as you look into the bag. “Aren’t you guys supposed to be with your families?” 
“My mom invited a bunch of people over, including the Carver’s,” Chrissy mumbles with a disgusted look on her face, “I sneaked out, she won’t even notice I’m gone.”
“Jason Carver is at your house?” Eddie asks, looking just as disgusted as Chrissy does. 
“Yeah,” she rolls her eyes. 
“I spent Christmas eve with my parents, they told me to spend the day with you,” Heather shrugs and then gives you a stern look, “and why did we have to find out that you’re alone tonight, through him?” She asks, nudging her chin towards Eddie. 
“Wait what?” 
Eddie chuckles, he wraps his arm around your shoulder and looks down at you, “I ran into your mom this morning, she told me that she was called in for work so I called your girls and here we are.” 
Your eyes soften as they lock with his. 
You and Eddie have been friends for almost two months now and while you had been spending a lot of time together, there haven’t been any occasions where your friends had joined your hangouts. He had briefly talked to them a few times but that’s all. To know that he had put in the effort into making your night better, calling your friends up to come here, warms your heart.
“You’re the best,” you whisper, “but what about Wayne?”
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about him, he was called in for work, like your mom.”
Chrissy looks between you and Eddie, a slight frown appears on her face, one that only Heather seems to notice. 
“Uh let’s eat!” She says and grabs the bag out of your hands after placing the one with the presents on the ground. 
You and Eddie look away from each other. He clears his throat and you turn to look at your friends, Chrissy isn’t smiling anymore, if anything, she looks annoyed, “I’m gonna get some plates,” she says and walks into the kitchen.
“Are we gonna eat in the living room?” Heather asks. 
You nod at her and go after Chrissy. 
“Are you okay, Chris?” You ask as you step into the kitchen. 
“Yeah!” She says as she reaches for the plates in the cupboard, she turns back around with a smile on her face, “why wouldn’t I be?” 
You can see the forced smile, the look in her eyes that is anything but happy. 
You shrug, “I don’t know, you seem tense,” you say as you open the fridge to get some drinks. 
She hesitates for a moment, she stares at the back of your head and shifts on her feet. 
“I��� it’s just, Jason.”
It’s a lie. You know it is. Heather and Chrissy might have spared you all the details about their love lives because they knew how much you were struggling yourself. Despite you telling them that you are always there for them, they still wanted to protect you from any kind of negativity. Which you hate. You want to be there for them, just like they are always there for you. 
“What about him?” You ask and turn around to face her after closing the fridge, “did he do something?”
She shakes her head, “no, he’s just very persistent but it’s nothing new,” she sighs and looks down, “he’s trying to get me to go on a date with him.”
You roll your eyes at her words, you hate Jason Carver. You hate the way he thinks that he can have anything and everything. 
“I’ll never understand how some guys won’t take no for an answer,” you mumble, “I could kick his ass for you.”
She giggles, shaking her head.
“Or we could find you a boyfriend who will kick his ass.”
You watch her closely and you can see the way her eyes flash with something unrecognizable. Her smile falls but only for a second, if you weren’t watching her so closely, you wouldn’t have noticed it. 
“Are you guys coming?” Heather asks. 
“Yeah.” 
You nudge your head towards the doorway, “come on.” 
As you walk back into the living room, you sense the awkwardness right away. You notice the smug look on Heather’s face and the blush on Eddie’s cheeks. You furrow your brows as you look between them, wondering what she had said to him to make him look so embarrassed.
You look down and place the drinks on the table. 
“Well, that’s gonna be the best Christmas dinner ever.”
“This is our turkey and mashed potatoes,” Heather jokes. 
Chrissy puts the plates on the table before she sits down on the armchair, crossing her leg over the other. 
Eddie scoots closer to the edge, already looking at you. You smile and sit down beside him. 
“What did you do after the dance?” Heather asks, looking between you and Eddie, the smug smile still present. She places the burger and fries on the plate, giving you the first one.
You and Eddie glance at each other. 
“We went to the diner,” you say as you reach for the plate, muttering a small ‘thank you’.
“Yeah and then we had a movie night and got high together,” Eddie chuckles. 
“And what did you do, Heather?” You ask, “when I left, you were with Billy.”
Eddie scrunches his face up in disgust, “Hargrove?” He asks with a judgmental look on his face.
Heather glares at him, “he can be nice.”
Chrissy snorts, “yeah, when he wants something.”
“Maybe he has a soft spot for Heather,” you smirk, wiggling your brows at your best friend.
She rolls her eyes, though the blush on her cheek isn’t hard to miss. 
“I still don’t like him,” Chrissy mumbles.
“You don’t like any of the guys we date, Chris.” You joke. 
“Yeah, maybe because you choose to date the shittiest guys,” she retorts with a sassy tone. 
You raise your brows in surprise while Eddie chuckles, his dark eyes flashing with amusement when he turns to look at you. 
“She’s right, Hargrove and Harrington aren’t really the best guys around.”
“There aren’t any best guys around in the first place,” Chrissy mumbles in annoyance before she looks at Eddie, “no offense.”
“None taken,” he chuckles. 
You agree with her partly. There are still some good guys around but there are also too many bad ones –  Steve might not be a bad person but he sure wasn’t the best boyfriend. You wouldn’t call him a shitty one though – but maybe that’s because you still love him. 
You wonder where he is tonight. 
Is he with his family?
Is he with her family?
Is he still with her or did he break things off with her after your night together?
Is he – no. Stop it, just stop thinking about him, you tell yourself. You force your mind to think about something else, about someone else. 
“I got the best guy around,” you smile and lean your head on Eddie’s shoulder. 
Chrissy sighs, her blue eyes are filled with annoyance but only Eddie seems to notice.
You look at Heather, she is furrowing her brows at something Eddie said, she looks confused but she still laughs. You had always been nervous about this. About your friends not getting along with Eddie. You are aware of how he feels about people who are popular and about the things people say about him at school, hell, you remember the way he was so nervous the first few times you spoke to him, he tried to mask it with humor and confidence but you saw right through him. You know that he had been nervous about meeting your friends – two popular cheerleaders who associate with guys like Billy Hargrove and Jason Carver. You were scared that they would hate each other but clearly, you shouldn’t have worried that much, besides, Eddie is not your boyfriend. He is just a friend. 
Now as you look at Heather and Eddie, you can’t help but notice the resemblance. They kind of look alike. Her hair is just as dark, long and curly as his. Pale skin. Dark eyes and pouty lips. They look like siblings. 
You can feel his eyes on you and you can also feel Chrissy’s eyes on you. 
You wonder what she is thinking about. Ever since your breakup with Steve, she has been fiercely protective over you and she gets mad at any guy who even looks your way. 
It’s cute. But you are not looking for new relationships any time soon so there is nothing for her to worry about, right? 
After your ‘christmas dinner’, you all exchange gifts. Eddie promises to give you his present later. By the blush on his cheeks, you can tell that he is too shy to give it to you now, in front of your friends. 
He takes it upon himself to use your polaroid camera to take pictures of you and your friends, not wanting to sit there awkwardly and stare at you as you unwrap the present you got from Chrissy.
He smiles when you squeal in excitement at the new book collection, your eyes light up and you throw your arms around her. 
“Psst.”
Eddie lowers the camera after taking a picture of you. He looks over at Heather, who scoots closer to him. 
“I see you’re having fun,” she teases with yet another smirk on her face. 
Eddie shakes his head and looks down. Something he never thought would happen is him getting along with your friends. He was incredibly nervous when he called them today, he did it for you. He wanted you to have a nice day, a day filled with new memories instead of old ones that will always take you back to someone who hurt you. 
Eddie shouldn’t have worried that much. Chrissy and Heather are nice. They didn’t throw him any judgmental looks nor did they snap at him the way other girls from the cheer squad would do. They are nice and they accept him – as your friend. 
“Yeah, I’m taking pictures of my friend.”
Heather snorts.
You push all your presents to the side and take a look at all the pictures Eddie took of you with your friends. A small frown appears on your face and you look up at him, “we need a picture together too.”
“You want one?” Eddie asks, smiling. 
“Yes!” 
“I can take one of you guys,” Heather says with a smug look on her face as she sends yet another smirk at Eddie. You don’t see it and you don’t see the way he huffs as he shakes his head. 
You walk towards him. He hands the polaroid camera to Heather. 
You and Eddie smile at each other, he holds his arm up and you curl under his arm, placing your hand on his back.
The mischief in Heather’s eyes should be enough of a warning to Eddie but when she tells you both to take a few steps back, he just knows. 
“Take another step back,” she says, gesturing you to go back further. 
“Just take the picture, Heather!” You say. 
“I’m trying to get the best position.”
And the best position is in the doorway.
“Oopsie,” Heather giggles, “look up.”
Mistletoe.
Chrissy rolls her eyes as she looks at you and Eddie. She turns away and begins to gather all the wrapping paper. 
You giggle and Eddie snorts, “seriously?” He asks. 
Before you can even react, Eddie wraps both arms around you and picks you up, he presses his lips against your cheek, kissing you loudly which only makes you giggle even louder. You wrap your arms around his neck and close your eyes with a smile on your face. 
You are not surprised by Eddie’s actions, he was always very affectionate with you. Eddie’s embrace always made you feel safe and secure.
Steve’s embrace felt different, you always loved having his arm around you, you loved it when he hugged you tightly and kissed the top of your head but while you felt at home, he always felt like he wasn’t there. Like his mind was elsewhere. Like he couldn’t relax the way you did when he held you. But as relaxed as you felt, you couldn’t help but worry and tense up a little whenever you noticed his absence. 
It’s different with Eddie. He is here and he feels relaxed and it all just feels natural but maybe that’s just because he is a friend. He doesn’t have to worry about the things that Steve worried about and you don’t have to worry about where his head is at. You are friends and your love is platonic – maybe this is what should have been between you and Steve. Platonic love. Maybe things would have been better. 
Heather takes the picture and laughs at the two of you. 
Eddie lowers you back on the ground. A strand of his hair gets caught in your eyelash and you both giggle. He pulls it away carefully. Neither of you notice the flash going off as Heather takes another picture of the two of you. 
Neither of you notice the look on Chrissy’s face as she stares at you, she frowns and her eyes are filled with sadness. Heather turns around with a smile on her face, one that quickly falls when she sees the look on her face. Guilt rushes through her, she knows how she feels. 
“Can we go?” Chrissy asks her and pleads with her eyes.
Heather nods.
“Wait what?” You ask as you pull away from Eddie to walk towards her, “you want to go already?”
Chrissy nods. She puts her hand on her neck and forces a smile on her face, “y-yeah, I don’t want to get into trouble with my mom.”
“Oh, right,” you mumble. 
You understand it but you know that there is more, something that she doesn’t want to tell you, something that she doesn’t want you to know. You aren’t the only one who noticed it. Eddie noticed it too. Her glances at you, the sad and longing look in her eyes. 
You pull her into a hug, she instantly wraps her arms around you. 
“Thank you,” you whisper. 
You pull away from her to hug Heather, as well. 
When they both walk away, Chrissy turns around, she looks at you and for a moment she hesitates. She halts in her tracks and her lips part, the uncertainty in her eyes makes you question her. What is going on with her? You know she wants to say something, you know she wants to talk to you but something always pulls her back. Tonight, it’s the warning look in Heather’s eyes, it’s not a mean look, not at all. But when Chrissy turns to look at Heather, there is a knowing look in both their eyes and that’s when you know for certain, they are hiding something. 
Chrissy’s shoulder slump and she turns back to you with a forced smile, “bye.”
You smile weakly, the weird feeling in your chest returns – it’s the same feeling you always got when you felt that Steve was hiding something from you. 
“Bye,” you whisper. 
You hate it when people keep things from you. It makes you feel left out. Heather and Chrissy are your best friends, you have never kept secrets from each other, never. 
But now Chrissy is keeping something from you and Heather is hiding her secret from you. 
Does it have something to do with you?
What do they not want you to know? 
“Y/n?”
Eddie’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You turn around to see him holding two presents in his hands, a smile pulling at his lips. 
The frown on your face melts into a smile, “more presents?”
His dark eyes flash with excitement, he hands you the presents. You grin and bite your lip as you sit down on the couch.
“Which one should I do first?” 
He shrugs, “the small one!” 
“Okay,” you giggle. You place the bigger present on the table and begin to unwrap the small one. You throw the wrapping paper on the table and stare at the little box. You glance at Eddie through your lashes. 
“Open it!”
His excitement makes you smile even more. 
You open the box and he watches the way your eyes light up as you reach for the rings. 
“Oh my god! They almost look like yours!” 
Eddie chuckles, he sits down next to you, “that’s why I got them for you, I know how much you like them.”
“I love them!” 
You put one on your pointer finger, another one on your middle finger and you leave the one with the black stone for your left hand, putting it on your ring finger. You wiggle your fingers as you stare at the rings, “they fit perfectly.” 
“Give me your hand!” You say as you turn your body towards him. He reaches his hand out to you with a chuckle. You hold your hand up next to his and smile, “look, we’re twinning.”
Eddie leans closer and grabs your hand, “your hand is so tiny,” he says. He presses his palm against yours, smiling at the difference. 
“You just have a really big hand,” you chuckle.
You keep your palm pressed against his and look up to see him looking at you. He smiles when your eyes lock. His eyes roam your face and you can’t help but smile at him too.
“You have another one,” he whispers, nudging his head towards the other present. 
You blink. 
“Yeah,” you whisper and pull your hand away from his. You reach for the present and eye it, wondering what it’s in there. You tear the paper off quickly. You eye the leather with big eyes, “are you kidding me?” 
Eddie chuckles at your reaction. 
You raise the leather jacket to get a better look at it, “how? Eddie, it's the one I told you about!” You gasp and jump up to put the jacket on.
“Figured it would be a nice present,” he smiles, happily.
“It’s the best!” You squeal and look down at it with, “you shouldn’t have–”
“I wanted to,” Eddie interrupts you and stares at you with a fond smile on his face, “look at you, you’re turning into me.” 
You snort at his words. Though, he is right, kind of. After your breakup with Steve, you have slowly pulled away from the things you used to love or thought you loved. You started exploring, a little. New clothes, new colors, new music. Things that Eddie loves, you found a liking towards as well.
You throw your arms around him and hug him tightly.
“Thank you,” you whisper into his neck, “thank you for everything.”
Eddie had been more than a shoulder to lean on, in the past few months. He had been more than just a friend. He is a best friend, not like Chrissy and Heather are though. He is different somehow. 
He hugs you tightly, “you’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m glad you like your presents.”
You know that he must’ve used most of his savings to get you the presents, it makes you feel guilty. 
You pull back and smile, “I got you something too.”
His brown eyes flash with excitement and curiosity. You pat his shoulder and get up, reaching for his hand, “come on, it’s in my room.”
A playful smirk tugs at his lips and he wiggles his brows suggestively, “oh? A striptease?” 
“Shut up!” You laugh and shake your hand as you pull him out of the living room. 
He chuckles. 
You run up the stairs, holding onto the railing. 
“Slow down, cheerleader!”
“Can’t! I’m too excited.”
You rush into your room and turn on the light. You drop his hand and walk towards the present you have left on your dresser. 
Eddie eyes you, loving the excitement on your face. He sits down on the bed. You turn around and walk back to him, handing him the present. 
He eyes it, he can feel the thin paper, thinking that it’s an envelope, he sends you a teasing look, “is that a love letter?” He winks. 
“Yeah,” you joke, “I know it doesn’t look like much but–”
“Hush,” Eddie says, waving you off. He looks down and tears the red paper off. When he sees the tickets, he freezes for a moment. He stares at them for a long minute before he takes them into his hand, he slowly lifts them up. 
His eyes are wide and filled with shock, his lips part. 
“No fucking way,” he whispers. His heart jumps in his chest as he stares at the Metallica tickets. “You didn’t!” 
You clap your hands together and smile, nodding at him. 
“You got me concert tickets?” He gasps. He gets up and stares at you with wide eyes. “Metallica concert tickets?” 
You giggle at the shocked look on his face. 
“Y/n!” 
Suddenly, he jumps at you, he picks you up and spins you around, making you squeal again. 
“Eddie!” You giggle. 
He places you back on the ground and you both stumble forward a little, both laughing. He takes your hands in his, smiling brighter than ever. The happiness and the excitement radiates off of him. “I can’t believe you got me tickets, sweetheart!” 
“I had to! They’re coming to Indianapolis! You can take Jeff or Gareth o-or Wayne, of course!” 
“Are you kidding?” He asks, squeezing your hand, “I’m taking you, dumbass!”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course!” 
Eddie pulls you into another hug, he squeezes you tightly. “Best present ever, sweetheart.”
“I’m glad you’re happy.”
“I am happy,” he whispers. 
You didn’t think that your night would go this way, that it would bring you more than the numbness that you have been feeling the past few days. You are thankful for your friends who are always there to make things better. 
You are thankful for him. 
For the first time, you speak about the night with Steve. You didn’t tell Heather and Chrissy about it. You feel safe telling him about it. Eddie never judged you, as much as he always disliked Steve, he never judged you about anything that had to do with him.
He doesn’t judge you for getting drunk with him, for partying with him, for hugging him and letting him hold you, one last time. 
He was the one who pushed you to talk to him, he didn’t expect this but he can’t say that he is surprised. He would have done the same thing if he was in your place. 
You love Steve, you always will. 
A love like this will never fade away. It makes him sad to see you suffering but letting him go, is for the better. He thinks that you need this. To be by yourself and focus on things that bring you joy, things that won’t hurt you. He can see that you are ready to move on from the past. 
The music is playing, you somehow convinced Eddie to listen to The Smiths. Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now is playing. Eddie won’t admit it but he likes the song. You are holding your hand up and stare at the rings he got you. While Eddie thinks about the concert that he will go to soon, you think about what he said, a few days back. 
The song stops playing and for a moment, the room is silent. 
“Eddie?” 
“Yes?” 
“I think I’m ready.” 
“Ready for what, sweetheart?” 
“I’m ready to try new things, I’m ready for a fresh start.”
“What do you say?” 
He reads your eyes. There is longing for something more, uncertainty and fear of the future but also excitement. 
“I say that ‘85 will be your year, baby,” he smiles. 
“Hmm, I say, it will be our year. ‘Cause you and I, we are both snatching that diploma and getting out of here. Got it?” 
He chuckles, “got it, ma’am.”
“To ‘85!” You say, holding up your pinky to him. 
His eyes flash with amusement, “you’re supposed to drink to it but sure, to ‘85.” 
He hooks his pinky around yours and taps your nose with his other hand. 
You both laugh and lay your heads back on the carpet. A weird feeling rushes through you, it’s not a bad one. It’s one that tells you that everything will be okay. 
“You know what we should do?” You say after a moment of silence. 
“What?” 
You sit up and you quickly take your jacket off. He stares at you, confused. You jump up and replace the leather jacket with a flannel. You put your hand on your hips and look around for a moment, searching for something. 
“What are you looking for?” He chuckles. 
“Ah.” 
You walk towards your dresser and open the top drawer. Eddie watches as you rummage through the drawer until you finally find what you were looking for. A black hat and a scarf, you throw it at Eddie, “put it on!” 
The hat hits him in the chest, it falls to his lap and he looks down, still confused. 
“What are we gonna do?”
“We’re gonna have some fun!” You say as you put your own hat on, wrapping a red scarf around your neck and putting on some gloves. 
“I hate hats and scarfs,” he frowns as he already wraps the scarf around his neck. 
“I know you do, Eddie.”
You walk back to him and reach for the hat, forcing it on his head. 
“You’re a menace, sweetheart.” 
“Because I don’t want you to catch a cold?” 
“Why would I catch a cold?” 
“We’re gonna have a snowball fight!” You say, excitedly as you reach for his hands and pull him up. “And then we’re gonna drink hot cocoa and watch some Christmas horror movie.” 
You pull him out of your room, “and you can stay over if you want.”
He gasps playfully, “I get to sleep in the queen’s bed?” He asks as he puts his hand on his chest, “a peasant in a queen’s bed? What will the kingdom say about this?”
“Shut up, dork.” 
You rush down the stairs and you both put your shoes on hastily before you leave the house. The snow is falling, it’s cold but the air is nice and the silence is welcoming. It’s dark out but the Christmas lights on your porch gleam brightly in the snow. 
Eddie doesn’t even waste a second before he hits your back with a snowball. 
“Hey!” You laugh as you turn around, “we didn’t even start–”
He throws another one at you but you duck this time and reach for the snow, you form the snow into a ball and throw it at him but he ducks just the way you did. You walk backwards, your boots sink into the snow, making it harder for you to escape him quickly. 
Eddie laughs wickedly as he runs towards you with a snowball. 
You giggle and turn around, running through the snow in your yard.
“Run little rabbit!” He says with a deep voice. 
You lean down and gather some snow, “you’re not playing fair, Eddie!” 
He laughs and halts in his tracks, letting you run off. 
You turn around and hold the snowball up. He is standing in the snow, smirking at you, waiting for you to hit him first now. Instead of throwing it at him, you run off. 
“Oh you wanna play catch?” He chuckles as he watches you run behind the house. He follows you, running after you through the snow, “I hope you know that I hate running!” 
He hears your giggle but he can’t see you. He looks around, ducking to see if you are hiding behind the bushes or the trees but you are nowhere to be seen. 
“You’re mean–”
The cold snow hits him on his cheek, it was a soft throw but it caught him off guard. 
“Oops!” 
Eddie snorts, he turns towards you, finally, he sees you behind the big oak tree. He chuckles as he wipes the snow off his cheek, he runs towards you and you squeal in surprise, running into the other direction. 
You are both laughing as you run through the snow like little kids. As much as he hates running, he is still faster than you, it doesn’t take him long to catch up with you, when he does, he grabs your waist and pulls you back, picking you up again which only makes you squeal again. 
“Got ya!” He whispers in your air and spins you around until he trips on a tree branch under the snow, making you both fall down. His back hits the snow and yours hits his chest but it only makes you laugh harder. 
“That’s your definition of a snowball fight, sweetheart?”
You roll off of him, laying down on the snow beside him. 
“You started it,” you laugh. 
“It was your idea!” 
You giggle, you grab some snow and throw it on his chest. 
“See! You’re a little menace!” He laughs and does the same to you, making you giggle louder. 
You go back and forth that way until you both get tired of it.
He gets up first and reaches for your hands, pulling you up after dusting the snow off of his clothes.
It starts snowing harder than before, large snowflakes fall from the sky and a smile tugs at your lips as you tilt your head up to look at the falling snow. 
You forget everything for a moment and he can tell by the look on your face. You look at peace and the smile on your face is genuine, for a moment, you look happy and Eddie can’t help but smile as he watches you. 
Neither of you notice how intimate this moment looks. How you stand there chest to chest as you look up and he looks down at you. 
You and Eddie are just friends but to an outsider it looks more than that. 
To Steve, it looks more than that. 
Whatever had dragged him here, quickly forces him to leave again when he sees you with him. When he sees you standing on the same spot where he had kissed you for the very first time – now you stand there with him, with another man. 
And despite what happened between the two of you a few nights ago, despite the heartbreak he had already felt, he feels it yet again. 
You let him go but can he let you go? 
next part
-
Don't yell at me about the Eddie x reader in this one! This is still a Steve fic!
Tagging friends & mutuals!
@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @corrodedseraphine @screammunson @hellfire--cult @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @somethingvicked @take-everything-you-can @taintedcigs
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daycourtofficial · 3 months
Text
Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor - Part 4
Summary: Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Masterlist)
Author’s note: I love this series and I want to thank everyone who comments/reblogs/likes. I love you all and it gives me so much motivation to keep working on this series 💕
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Cassian limped out of his room, using the wall for support as he walked into the living room.
“Sweetheart, can you grab me the ice pack from the freezer?”
You and Feyre had been in the kitchen making waffles, but the two of you make your way over to Cassian to help him, abandoning the batter you were making. You grab the ice pack from the freezer and a hand towel to wrap around it, while Feyre walks over to help ease Cassian onto the couch, helping him prop his leg up on the coffee table.
You place the ice pack on his knee, grabbing a throw pillow and placing it under his leg.
“Are you okay? What happened?” You ask, concern etched onto your brows.
He sighs, “just my knee flares up if I do too much, and I got a little ambitious with the girl I hooked up with last night.”
Feyre snorts as he waggles his eyebrows. You sit on the arm of the couch facing him, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Cassian leans his head back on the couch, “yeah can you grab my pain meds? They’re probably in my bathroom.”
You scuttle off after he tells you what the bottle looks like, walking through his room into his bathroom. You’re not surprised at how messy it is, clothes litter the floor and papers are strewn across his desk.
You can hear Feyre and Cassian talking but can’t make out what they’re saying as you begin your search. You search through his drawers and medicine cabinet, finding various medicines, condoms, and even pads, but not the bottle he described. The sight of the pads reminds you of a story Mor told where she had told Cassian she was on her period and his response was, “let’s get messy, baby.” You shake the memory away, heading back to tell him the bad news.
“Bad news bud - no medicine.”
He groans, “where the hell did I have it last?” He starts muttering to himself, hoping he didn’t leave it at the gym, when he points to you.
“It’s next door - Az has it. I stuffed it in his gym bag. Could you go check for me?”
Last time you saw Azriel, you had fallen asleep on his thighs, most likely drooling over them in your slumber.
You woke up to a dark room, the tv screen black with disuse. You lift your head, your hand using the pillow to push yourself up. You move your head to find hazel eyes looking into your own.
Your head is a few inches off his thigh, your hand wrapped around it for support.
“Um, hi,” you say, a moment later realizing your hand was on his thigh, quickly pulling it away. You take a quick moment to check the side of your mouth with your hand, praying to any god that will listen that you weren’t drooling on him.
“Hi,” he tells you, “you missed a good movie.”
“Rain check?” You ask, and he chuckles.
“Are you going to fall asleep again?”
“If you ask me, no, but if you ask my friend Feyre, the answer is likely yes.”
He laughs, and you realize his hand is in your hair, as he untangles your hair from his fingers.
“That’s okay. We’ll just have to keep watching it until eventually you make it to the end.”
“Uh, yeah, sure Cass.”
You start to leave, but Feyre grabs your arm. “I just told Cassian about how we’re going axe throwing. I invited him and his brothers.”
Feyre winks at you as she’s turned away from Cassian, and you give her a look.
Nosey busybody. All because you had told her you fell asleep on Azriel last night. And how he was so kind to help you drop the truck off. And how damningly beautiful he was.
Curse your big mouth.
“You should ask them if they want to come while you’re over there. Cassian’s coming, if they’ll find that enticing.”
Her words mean one thing, but her eyebrow waggling screams, I don’t think Cassian will be the reason one of them comes.
You wander over next door, knocking as you approach their door. Your mind starts wandering while you wait for a response, and you wonder if they used to always meet in Rhys and Az’s apartment.
Your thoughts still when Azriel opens the door, surprise on his face as he looks at you. He’s shirtless, his tan chest on full display, some black shadow-esque tattoos adorning his shoulders. Your eyes trace the design, roving over his muscular chest.
You want to lick them.
You shake the intrusive thought away, and Azriel grins ever so slightly at your blatant ogling of him. You tell him, “Uh Cassian’s knee is acting up and he said he thinks his meds are in your gym bag?”
He opens the door wider, letting you in. “What’d he do to mess up his knee this time?”
You follow him as he leads you into the apartment, your words dying on your tongue, “something about getting too ambitious with a girl - what the fuck?”
Azriel stops to find you staring at their tv, an absolutely massive screen mounted to their wall. It practically takes up most of the wall, and you imagine watching a movie on it would feel life-sized. “And I thought Cassian had the biggest tv I’d ever seen.”
Azriel chuckles, “they got drunk one night and started having a pissing contest over who was bigger, and it escalated to them both buying absurdly large televisions.”
He rolls his eyes at the memory of them drunkenly purchasing tvs online, forgetting about the ordeal until they appeared a few days later, Cassian refusing to use Rhys’s tv for a week in solidarity of his manhood.
You two start moving towards Azriel’s room, worry brewing in your mind over what to do. To follow could be overstepping, to linger could be weird. He leaves his door wide open, looking back to see if you’re following, so you decide to be brave and step through his door.
His room is dark, black out curtains with tiny moons sewn into them adorning his windows. His bed is neatly made, a deep blue comforter laying on top. Your eyes are drawn to the little bat stuffed animal that sits on his pillows.
His room is neat - dirty clothes kept in a hamper in the corner, books neatly stacked on his nightstand and on a bookshelf. He even has paper tray organizers on his desk.
His laptop is open at his desk, the screen still lit with whatever he was doing before you knocked. You see a familiar photo of you and Mor on the screen before it cuts to black, leaving you confused.
You shake the thoughts away, telling him “I like the little bat.”
He stills, looking over at the thing. His face falls a bit, but he quickly corrects it, going back to his search for the bag.
“Thanks, Cass got it for me.”
“That’s sweet,” you tell him.
You breathe deeply, the air in the room shifting, but you’re not really sure why. You don’t want this to be the end of your interaction with him, so you ask, “so Cassian told me you’re a personal trainer?”
He bends over to pick up his gym bag from the floor, your eyes roving down his toned back to the shorts that generously show off his thighs. Maybe you could join their gym if you got to see him like this, tanned thighs and chest on full display.
“Yeah, he helped me get the job, actually. I’ve been working a lot more over the summer, trying to save money for when classes are in session.”
You nod, as he finds the bottle in his bag. “Do you like it?”
He walks back over to you, escorting you out of his room. “S’okay. Cassian’s much better at it than I am, but it’s not hard.”
You nod, wondering how both of them are at their jobs. You can imagine Cassian being loud and rambuctious, a personality trait you can’t see him without. Shouting motivational words as you squat. On the other hand you can see Azriel being calm, quiet, his presence hardly noticeable as you train, offering occasional motivation but knowing what his clients actually need is just someone there.
He reaches his hand out to give you the bottle, and you break your eye contact with him to grab it. His fingers brush over your hand, electricity crackling on your skin from his touch.
You look at his hands, noticing them for the first time. Covered in scars, the skin is scarred over, the texture rough and uneven. His touch is soft and warm, a contrast to the harshness of his hands. You don’t let your eyes linger on his hand for too long, worrying you’re invading his privacy.
You duck your head down, fighting the heat on your cheeks from his touch. If he notices, he doesn’t let on as you pull your hand back with the bottle, uncertain how long your hands had been in contact.
“Thanks I um, Cassian will appreciate this.” You give him a toothless smile, one that he matches. His eyes have a look about them, but you can’t spend too long thinking about it, especially considering Feyre was likely conspiring with Cassian as you two spoke.
“I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing before,” you say, reaching for the doorknob.
“I’ll see you later,” he tells you.
Your hand stills on the knob and you turn to look back at him. “Are you doing anything today? Around 3?”
He shakes his head no, “not really - why?”
“My friend Feyre and I are going to go to this place to try out axe throwing and I was wondering if you wanted to come with?”
His eyes widen in surprise, but you continue before he can reject you.
“Um Cassian’s coming, and Rhys is invited too if he wanted to come. It’s no big deal if you guys don’t want to - Feyre and I probably won’t be any good.”
He watches you tuck your hair behind your ear and he realizes you’re rambling. Despite how cute he finds it, how cute he finds you, he cuts you off. “I’ll come - I’ll text Rhys too.”
You smile broadly at him, a sight he’ll definitely be thinking about until he sees you again, “okay, um yeah I’ll uh see you then? You can come over to our place and we can all leave together.”
You’re about to leave again when you backtrack, “uh, come over at 2:30 so we can leave together. See you then!”
After you’ve left, he listens to your feet pad down the hall, and the door to the apartment next door opening and closing. He looks to the wall that separates your apartments, as if he can see you giving Cassian the medicine.
He trudges back to his room, furling and unfurling his fist, his skin hot from your touch. The image of you looking at his hands printed in his brain. You didn’t look at him in pity, perhaps the first person to do so. You looked at him like he was resilient, like he was more than what happened to him, like he was more than the scars littering his hands.
He lets the thoughts whirl in his brain as he logs back into his laptop, the screen lighting up with your social media pages he had been scrolling through. He tells himself it’s just to see who Cassian is living with and if she can be trusted, if she seems okay. He also decides if she happens to be seeing anyone is also pertinent information.
For Cassian’s safety, of course.
330 notes · View notes
xzaddyzanakinx · 2 months
Text
Not That Kind of Guy
Part Four: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series
Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, one-sided relationship, sexual content, pervy behavior, male masturbation, panty kink, sex daydreams [eventual warning for smut; be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]
Info: Anakin is doing his very best, he just loves you and wants you to be comfy around him. Just let him worm his way into your heart babe [diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread. I’m illiterate so apologies in advance MDNI 18+
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Diary Entry: July 8th
Mr. Nelson’s funeral was today, it really was a beautiful ceremony as I look back on it. Even more so when my inner self smears the background enough to bring you to the front of the mental image.
You’d spoken to the man a handful of times, but I didn’t expect you to come. When I saw you accept the invite to the event on Facebook I thought surely it was a mistake. That was until you messaged Luke and asked him to accompany you, funerals make you nervous, but feeling obligated to do something and avoiding it makes you more nervous.
So your moral support was happy to attend and fight off dear old Alan’s corpse should he rise from the casket and set his sights on you.
And I though I had irrational fears, geez babydoll, how old were you when you watched Night of The Living Dead for the first time? If I had to guess it was too young. It’s alright though I get it, you know what movie traumatized me? The Mummy. Heebied my fucking Jeebies so bad I avoided the beach on family vacations.
You’re telling me there’s not a sarcophagus under all that sand? There’s at least one under there and you can’t convince me otherwise.
Solid ground for me only, please and thank you.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I had a thought that I initially considered to be a sweet reminder of my dear friend Alan. His obituary was in the newspaper and I happened to swipe one from the guest book table at the viewing as well. Have you ever scrapbooked before? I bet you’ve at least tried it.
Well I thought it would be nice to make him a page in my journal. A little celebration of life for the man who gave me an opportunity to grow and nurture my love for you.
Then I realized mid-glue stick on the newspaper clipping that the idea was something that a clinically insane person would do.
I’m not that guy. That guy’s not me.
But the glue was already on there and it felt wrong to toss Alan’s wrinkly old face into the trash so I pasted him into my journal anyway.
Crazy people don’t know that they’re crazy. I’m well aware that little idea was less than tasteful, just felt like I should mention that.
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Date:
July 28th
Anakin Skywalker hadn’t been this happy since… ever. The previous record being his discovery of you, was now toppled into second place and overshadowed by ‘Move In Day’.
He could hardly contain himself. It was a dopamine high that he would ride out until he’d drained every last drop.
The movers lugged in box after box, furniture and books, until finally they dropped off the last load and thanked Anakin for the business. He eagerly shook their hand and shoved them out. He had preparations to make.
He set up his Tv, screen mirroring the live feed of the apartment building entrance to the big screen so that he could easily keep an eye out for you while he unpacked his kitchen.
He’d planned your ‘meet-cute’ meticulously, looking to your bookshelf and streaming services to gather intel on your ideal scenario. You were an odd bird, but he liked that about you. It’s part of your charm, it’s part of the challenge. You’re not as predictable in your tastes and interests as others can be.
Anakin formulated the interaction step by step, frame by frame in the storyboard of his imagination until he had the perfect scene. His box office hit that he’d replay over and over again until the next time he stood face to face with you.
It took quite some time and a load of practice. Discarded dialogue, awkward movements that made him feel stiff and less than human when he practiced them in the mirror. Endless options of clothes, shoes, and hair.
Should he get a new piercing? He wanted to. So he did, he knew you’d like it.
It’d match the one he already had on the opposite nostril. It made him feel more complete to add something so permanent to his body, he wished he could do something similar with you. He wanted you to be permanent, so maybe it’s his subconscious’s way of telling him that this was going in the right direction.
He was on the right path. His journey of life alone was coming to a close and a new trail would reveal itself. No more rocky, unsteady tread. No more sharp turns and blind spots, no more impossible inclines.
Scraped knees and bloodied hands would be distant memories. Maybe even distant enough that he could toss them into The Pit.
He would have no need for anger or sorrow anymore.
How could he feel anything but the warm embrace of love as he strolled down the flowered path ahead with you?
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Who knew that you could position one box in 83 different ways and hate every single one of them? Anakin was so thankful there weren’t any actual surveillance cameras in the apartment building. It’d be really difficult to explain why he was in the hallway for an hour with his hands on his hips, scooting a box of books a centimeter or two at a time. Turning it sideways and then making sure the book on top was perfectly positioned and would effectively fall to the ground to catch your attention.
He checked his watch nonstop, stared at his Tv screen, willing you to just hurry the fuck up before he vomited from anxiety. He’d waited months for this. If he fucked it up now he’d… well he’d probably keel over on the spot.
Which would promptly traumatize you and not even his ghost would be able to peacefully haunt you. It’s hard to peacefully haunt someone if they watched you die, or at least Anakin assumed it would be difficult. He wasn’t willing to test that theory though.
So, he puffed up his chest and walked back into his apartment and rehearsed the upcoming conversation a few more times. He needed, desperately needed to ensure his facial expressions conveyed what he wanted.
Soft, trustworthy, dependable, safe, caring.
He practiced softening his eyes, knowing sometimes he stared alittle too hard. He worked on his facial fidget; chewing on the inside of his cheek was a quick tell of his nervousness. He didn’t want to be perceived as nervous, he wanted to be confident and sure of himself so that you would be confident in your soon to blossom affection for him.
His eyebrows, that’s a hard one, but he’d meticulously watched bar goers trying to flirt. The successful ones he learned, sometimes use their eyebrows in place of questions or words. A difficult concept, but one he studied until he mastered it.
Now, the other facial expressions and mannerisms… he gathered that information from your watch lists on your streaming services. For the visible examples at least, but your books were just as helpful in describing how he should approach you, speak to you, and simply exist near you.
He hadn’t realized these things were this important until now. Standing and posture was surprisingly very, very important to women. As well as hand movements and subtle glances and minuscule changes of expression.
You were worth the time and effort it took to learn all of it. He’d read and research and practice until he couldn’t stand to look at himself in the mirror any longer. He was determined to make sure you were happy with the results.
He was startled by a loud ping, someone had entered to building and holy shit it was you.
Anakin shook out his hands frantically, remembering the breathing techniques he’d learned as a child, he grounded himself quickly.
It’s okay.
‘She’s gonna love you. She’ll warm up to you quickly, you know everything you need to know about her to make her comfortable and loved.’
‘There’s no way she won’t fall head over heels.’
He smoothed out his band-tee and ran his hands through his hair quickly and headed to his door that was propped open slightly. A few boxes sat in the hall, including the most important one, the one instrumental to his plan.
The apartment hallway was ridiculously tiny, which worked in his favor in this situation.
He heard you come up the stairs, counted your steps until he knew you were almost at the door, 17 and a half steps. Then he swung open the door and bent down to grab one of the boxes.
As expected, he startled you and you dropped your keys. You always wore your backpack on one shoulder, one strap. So when you quickly went to scoop up your keys, your bag swung out of place and toppled a few books from one of the boxes.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Anakin could gloat to himself about his magnificent setup later, right now he needed to woo you with his sweet words.
“Oh, sweetheart I’m sorry.” He said softly, coming over to offer you a hand up.
“It’s okay, my bad.” You laughed, taking his hand.
He managed to keep calm and collected despite his insides boiling him alive at the willing skin contact.
“No, not at all. It’s my fault for startling you like that.” He chuckled, squeezing your upper arm and using his hand already in yours to give you a small handshake. Smooth.
“I’m Anakin.” He said with a bashful smile, dropping your hand and reveling in the lingering warmth your palm left on his.
You introduced yourself in return, gesturing to his apartment door.
“So I take it that you’re my new neighbor huh?” You said, making small talk as you crouched down to pick up the books you’d knocked over.
“No I’m just a one man moving crew.” He grinned.
“Very funny.” You laughed, standing up as you looked through the titles. “Hmm, you’ve got good taste.”
“You think so?” He asked, remembering to make his eyebrows swoop up toward the middle of his forehead to give a quizzical look.
“Oh yeah, this is one of my favorites.” You said, showing him the cover of The Silmarillion by Tolkien.
“Not many people actually read that one, I’m impressed.” He smiled.
“Impressed? Yeah well I’m jealous.” You laughed.
“What?” He chuckled, holding his hands out to take the other books from you.
“This is a really nice edition, it’s similar to mine. I recently lost it.” You sighed. “I think I must’ve left it the park or maybe it fell out of my bag or something.”
“Ah, that sucks… well, I mean I’ve read that one a few times now. It’s been well loved.” He said tipping the books in his arms toward the one you were holding. “Why don’t you keep it?”
He shrugged, acting nonchalant as though this didn’t mean the entire world to him and if you said no he’d sob about it later.
“You’re serious?” You asked in surprise, he was offering you a 50$ special edition book and you’d barely known him for a minute.
“Yeah, ‘course sweetheart.” He said with a cute, crooked smile. “Think of it as a… reverse house warming gift.” He chuckled.
“Thank you, I- this means a lot to me.” You said, grinning widely. “That’s real sweet of you Anakin. I owe you one.”
“No worries.” He chuckled, “I’m sure we’ll find a way to make it even sweetheart.” His gaze flickered quickly from your eyes to your lips, and he turned to go back into his apartment after giving you an almost-missed wink.
You stepped inside your home, and went straight to the bookshelf to put your new-to-you book where it belonged. After the fact you stood there and buffered, just staring at it.
‘There’s no way, this guy has to be too good to be true.’
But he seemed… so genuine. He didn’t ogle you, he didn’t make you feel weird or like he just felt obligated to speak to you.
He seemed to actually, really be a good guy.
Rare. Few and far of those exist in this day and age. It’s uncommon to meet someone who would do something, even as simple as giving you a used book, without expecting anything in return.
But he didn’t seem to expect anything. He didn’t seem to even expect a thank you, it was like he’d already decided he would give it to you before he even offered.
What are the odds that a hot, tattooed and pierced man moves in next door and gifts you an expensive book that just so happens to be an even better replacement for the one that you just lost? That couldn’t happen twice even if you tried to make it happen again.
What kind of second dimension did you step into? The land of dreamy men?
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Diary Entry: July 28th
It’s late. But I have to write to you, it can’t wait til tomorrow.
Everything went more perfectly than I could’ve imagined. Thank you so much for being you sweet girl. It made my job of curating the scenery so much easier, you clumsy little thing. I am sorry for having to spook you though, but it worked didn’t it?
Research pays off. Always.
And of course there’s the issue of your book, I hated to see your frustration and your mad scowl when you realized it was missing from your backpack. I really did.
But I’d do it every goddamn day if I knew I’d get the same reaction out of you from giving you that new copy.
Oh god you’re… you’re beautiful. You’re so beautiful. You look angelic when you sleep but you look like competition for Aphrodite when you smile at me.
You smiled, grinned. You smiled all the way up to the corners of your bright and beautiful eyes. For me.
You even laughed for me.
It was so sweet I could taste it. The honey of your voice, I could fucking bathe in it. Just the sound of you speaking, knowing you were speaking to me. Really speaking to me.
In the flesh.
It’s intoxicating. It’s emboldening, it’s dangerous. I’ve never been more worked up in my life. I’m torn all to pieces from at two minute and 6 second conversation.
I think I’ll have to fucking recover from this like a damn hangover.
But what has me so drunk you might ask? Was it your laugh at my stupid jokes? Was it your perfect smile, your radiant glow, your soulful eyes? The softness of your skin or you willingness to let me touch you?
No baby. It’s how you said my name.
I wish I could’ve stayed longer, I wish I could’ve spoken to you more. But it’s so hard to concentrate when my dick is leaking precum down my leg at a rate that should probably be concerning.
The minute you closed that door I shoved those boxes into my apartment and locked the door. Took my elated ass straight to the couch and watched you in your living room, admiring your gift from me while I fucked my fist with a pair of your dirty panties in my mouth.
I couldn’t have your honeyed lips soothing my angry red cock just yet, but I sure as hell could imagine licking your gorgeous little cunt while I tasted you.
I tugged my balls and pumped my cock for over half an hour until I was a fucking mess for you in my new living room’s floor. The cool hardwood letting the heat from my flushed skin seep away from me as I came back down to earth.
I made myself dizzy. Didn’t give myself a break, didn’t slow down, just stroked my cock like the desperate little manwhore that I am for you. The only thing missing was you being there to watch me fall apart.
I think you’d like that wouldn’t you? Watching a man like me get on his knees and beg for you?
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Diary Entry: July 29th
I’ve replayed that moment in my head for hours on end. The beginning always stays the same, but the ending… that’s been subject to many changes. It started off simple, we’d chat alittle longer, I’d ask you how your day was; you’d tell me it was ‘fine, thank you’.
Or you’d ask me why I decided to move in, why I chose this side of town, this side of town, this apartment building, across from you. That one always ended questionably and I’d rather not explore that one on paper.
My favorites however were the ones where you’d laugh at a stupid pick-up line and somehow we’d end up in your bed. The bed I’ve sat and watched you sleep in. Those were the best additions.
Now, I’ve been fortunate enough that you’ve been loyal, faithful and devoted to only me since the very beginning. So I don’t really have a clue what you’d actually be like in bed.
But god it’s so fun to imagine it.
You’ve got such pretty, soft skin. You let me mar it up with my teeth and soothe it with my tongue. You let me grip the pillowy flesh of your thighs to spread you open for me. You let me pinch and roll and pull your nipples until they were raw and begging for a break. You let me caress the sensitive slick covered folds between those beautiful pussy lips, plunge my fingers in as far as they’d go.
I took you from behind, watching your perky little ass bounce off my cock while I plowed into you. Your face smushed against the couch cushions and your body folded over the arm rest for me to fuck you like the good little girl that you are.
Against the wall with your arms around my neck while I’ve got my hands holding you spread open and in place by the crook of your knees. You promised you stay real still so that I could drill up into you like you deserved.
God damn. Do you know how good you look like that? Back arched against the wall, tits jiggling in my face with every thrust. Your legs pushed up and back to the sides of your torso, to pin you in place?
It was like a pretty pink flower had bloomed and spread its buttery smooth petals just for me.
Don’t even get me started on how good you suck cock. Have you ever been told you could be mistaken for a warm, wet Hoover? No? Didn’t think so cause that would be rude as hell, but I bet someone’s thought it before.
(Me. It’s me, I thought that.)
Fuck those soft lips. Fuck that smooth snake of a tongue. Fuck that tight, hot throat that just loves to take a beating from my dick.
Can’t wait to prove my imagination right.
Speaking of, my dick has been beat. Like actually. If one didn’t know any better they’d assume it’s on life support, but I’m a freak of nature. Cumming upwards of 16 times in the span of 40ish hours would probably put a weaker man in a hospital bed. Or maybe a psych ward.
But I am not a weak man even if my dick feels raw. I’d still fuck you if you asked.
I’d be curious to know if I’d be able to stave off cumming longer from all the abuse or if I’d be so fucking sensitive that I wouldn’t make it in half an inch.
Probably the latter.
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Diary Entry: August 2nd
Being so close to you is killing me. Truly it is.
You’ve sunken your claws so deeply into my very soul and you don’t even realize it. It’s torture. To you, I’m just the new guy, nice dude who gave you a book. But to me? You’re my entire world.
I’ve been told I have the personality of a guard dog. Soft and squishy on the inside, dangerous and fierce on the outside. Which I suppose could be true, but really I think it’s for a different reason. For a human, a dog is one small but very impactful blip in your life. But for the dog? You are it’s life.
Am I comparing myself to a dog right now? Yes I am.
I’ll beg for you to throw me the scraps of your affections until you finally toss me a bone.
Bark.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I’ve been trying my best to give you space. To plan accordingly and in advance. I have our next two interactions simmering on the back burner.
I know that if I go too hard, too fast, you’ll be overwhelmed. That’s the last thing I want. I never want to be the thing that causes you stress, I want to siphon it from you. So, in one week I will set out to help you with a few of your errands and plant a few seeds.
But until then, we have late night snacks and couch chats with Boogie.
I’ve also been doing- you guessed it- more research to do with helpful vitamins and medicines. You’ve responded so well to your SleepyTime tea and since I’ve started making sure your birth control packet is plainly visible in the countertop basket directly beneath that cabinet, you’ve been taking it so well.
I’m so proud of you sweetheart, that’s my girl, look at you taking care of yourself. You’ve done so well in fact, that it’s in my personal opinion that you have earned a very special reward.
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Anakin sat on his couch, the live feed of your living room screen mirrored to his Tv. He was watching you cook dinner, he knew you’d be making a stir fry. He’d seen it in your planner, so he’d taken the liberty of ordering himself the same, it’d be here any minute. As would your good friend Sam.
Anakin had originally burned red hot with jealousy at the thought of you inviting a man over to your apartment, that he hadn’t vetted via social media and a quick drop-in. But he was relieved to discover that Sam was just a girl from your book club.
This wasn’t one of his well thought out plans, this was decided upon this morning after you’d returned from book club. So, he was anxious to see if his hunches served him well. Sam seemed like a punctual gal, at least from what he’d seen on social media and the text messages between the two of you from weeks/months before.
Anakin had the wonderful idea to log into your cell service providers website to pull your deleted messages from their data bank. You really should have better passwords.
The thing he was most worried about was his door dasher arriving on time. It was rare that one was too far off on arrival time, but it would be his shit luck and lack of planning that could ruin this little glimpse of you.
The minutes ticked by and he was alerted to the new motion sensors he’d placed near the LED pathway lights on the paved entrance to the apartment building. He quickly switched over to the hallway feed at the front door, seeing that it was his door dasher.
Damn you Trevor. How dare you get there before Sam.
Not to worry, he’d call for the door code and Anakin wouldn’t answer the first time. It wasn’t much but it would buy him a few seconds.
Though it seemed to be that luck was on his side as it often was when it came to you. Sam was so kind, kind enough to let the delivery guy into the building. Which is technically a security concern but Trevor didn’t seem like the type of guy who’d be able to remember a 6 digit door code.
He was too busy staring at your friends ass to pay attention to the numbers she entered anyway.
The footsteps approached your door and his, Anakin waited until he heard Sam knock on your door before he opened his. Trevor stood patiently as Anakin slowly counted out his tip in cash and thankfully you were quick to let your friend inside. After the exchange was complete Anakin gave you a smile and wave.
He could’ve had a heart attack at the response you gave him.
A flirty little finger waggle and smile.
He had to remind himself to breathe and keep his expression a happy-neutral. He’d hate for you to see his blushing cheeks this early on.
“Have a good night girls.” He said as he closed his door and to his surprise you actually answered.
“You too!”
If he weren’t confident that you were a sweet and loving soul, he’d think you were trying to kill him with the siren song of your voice.
Stir fry had never tasted so fucking good.
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Diary Entry: July 8th
Grocery day baby, here I come.
I love that you’re so predictable. I love that you’re so fucking cute and always try to strong arm your groceries in one trip. I love that it takes at least two good whacks to the trunk of your shitty old Nissan to properly close it.
It’s cute to watch you struggle with it, the annoyed huffs and angry scowl.
I thought you’d combust on the spot once when your paper grocery bag of flour and sugar ripped open and sent a plume of flour up on your black jeans. The parking lot was very empty and I was very glad because I’d hate for someone to have seen the cursing contest you had with yourself as you picked up your spilled items. Very unladylike you know. But it’s you so I don’t mind, I just like to hear you talk.
It’s almost time. I’ve been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes. Gotta account for the traffic on highway 76. Do you really have to shop all the way out there just because of the Whole Foods? C’mon baby they have the same shit at Kroger.
I’ve been watching your little blue dot on my phone and you’re rounding the corner so I’ll write you later doll.
I love you.
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You pulled into the parking lot and sat in your car for a moment. Giving yourself the much need quiet to decompress from your work day and the grocery trip. After you’d checked your messages and scrolled for a moment you decided it was time to head inside before your frozen foods got… not so frozen.
You popped the trunk and fumbled with the faulty latch, your fingers feeling blindly under the metal lip until it finally detached and you were able to open the trunk.
You took a deep breath and scolded yourself for buying the extra few things that could’ve waited till next time. Second trips are for wimps and you weren’t one. So you loaded up your left arm bag by bag until you heard a humored puff of air and the beep of a car locking behind you.
“Need a hand sweetheart?” Anakin grinned, shoving his keys into his front pocket.
He waltzed over and took a few bags off your hands without waiting for a response. It took you aback, not because he hadn’t waited for permission, but because of the way he exuded an odd charm that made you falter.
“Anakin, really it’s alright I can get it.” You said, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion by his kind gesture.
“Mmm no, this seems like a two man mission sweet girl.” He smiled, gathering up a few the last few bags from the trunk and shutting it with one solid push.
“You really don’t have to-“
“I know I don’t have to.” He said tilting his head toward the apartment building to encourage you to walk with him. “I want to.”
“Thank you, that’s… thanks.” You smiled, a light blush creeping across your cheeks.
“Atta girl.” He chuckled, tapping in the door code and holding it open for you despite holding many more bags than you.
Something about the low tone of voice or maybe just the way he looked at you with his icey blue eyes… just sent a chill down your spine. A quick one that was gone in an instant, replaced by a warm glow in the center of your chest.
“Guess chivalry’s not dead.” You joked.
“I’m no knight.” He laughed, “but you’re sure as hell a princess.”
‘Oh that was smooth.’ You thought, trying to ignore the heat at the bottom of your stomach.
What is happening? How on earth can one man be so… everything? Kind, caring, chivalrous and gorgeous to boot.
You felt a wave of embarrassment at the squeaky giggle you let out. He had you tore up from one little comment.
True to the gentleman he seemed to be, he chose not to push it and tease you about your beet red cheeks. He just waited patiently for you as you unlocked your door.
“Do you want me to bring these in for you?” He asked, watching your movements closely.
“Oh that would be great.” You said in relief, leading him into your kitchen.
“Cute little place.” He said, looking around the kitchenette and over to the living room.
He sat down your bags on the counter and started unloading them neatly into rows.
“Oh, you-“
“Mmm mmm.” He shook his head with a smirk, “Just let me help, it’s no big deal.”
You let out a puff of air in an amused sort of amazement and pulled out your little step stool to open up the cabinets. Anakin snickered from behind you as you stepped up and started putting things away.
You shot him a glare over your shoulder and almost said something snarky until you realized he was folding your paper grocery bags in the same way that you always do.
“Huh.” You laughed. “I thought I was the only one who did that.”
“Did what?” He asked, his head cocked to the side.
“Fold the bags.” You said, turning back around to continue placing your things where they belonged.
“Oh,” he chuckled, “I dunno it’s just a habit I guess. Fits better in that stupid slot on the recycling bin this way.”
“Yeah I never really understood why they made them that way? I guess so people don’t just shove other trash in there.” You mused.
“Mmhm probably.” He agreed, stacking them neatly and gathering it in his hands. “Do you want me to take these out back for you?”
“I can do-“ You stopped yourself when Anakin raised his eyebrow and cocked his head to the side with a crooked smirk.
You sighed and gave him a downturned smile. “Yes, I would love for you to take them out back for me.”
“Good girl.” He nodded, clicking his tongue and heading for the door. “See ya princess.”
After he shut the door you let yourself breathe alittle easier, blowing out the air in a short puff through your nose. Maybe even letting a little smile cross your lips before you finished up your task.
You’d be thinking about that low rumble of his voice later. Good girl? Shit.
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PART FIVE
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kagu-une · 25 days
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you and mingi have been friends since childhood; you thought that you knew everything there was to know about him. there is just one secret: he's in love with you, and the feelings may be reciprocated.
pairing. song mingi x fem!reader
genre. smut mature themes ahead. minors do not interact.
content warnings. another friends-to-lovers trope (i'm not sorry). non-idol!au. dom!mingi. sub!reader. desperate sex? idk how to put it, you'll see. possible jealousy? possessive!mingi. fingering (f receiving). use of pet names such as 'baby'', 'good girl'. gentle degradation?? praise. big pp!mingi...... unprotected sex (use protection or Else). a little teenie weenie bit of plot. ahem. anyways
a/n. it seems that i write best at the ass crack of dawn, or in a (nonexistent) time crunch. anyways this is a drabble that's been living in my fully furnished frontal lobe for a while, hope it lives up to your expectations @lissiesykes :p this has not been proofread btw
smut beneath the drop down!
it was the same saturday ritual that has carried on for years since you started college and moved into your own apartment: your best friend, mingi, would come over and the two of you would waste the evening away by rotting on your couch, and forcing him to watch whatever series was your newest hyperfixation.
this saturday was no different. you had long since showered and changed into a pair of dilapidated sweatpants, and a shirt that you were sure was mingi's, but figured it shrunk in the dryer. you had just finished the usual routine of microwaving a bag of popcorn when you heard a familiar knock at your door. setting the bag of popcorn on the counter to cool off, you padded across the living room to answer the door. behind it stood mingi, his large stature easy filling up the doorframe. though you watched him hit his growth spurts as a kid, his height always caught you by surprise.
"hey!" you greeted him with a soft smile, stepping off to the side to allow him to enter your apartment.
"hey," replied he as he entered, kicking his shoes off by the door. he shrugged off the hoodie that he wore as he made his way into the living room and tossed it over the back of the sofa. "it smells good in here."
you chuckle to yourself as you close the door and lock the deadbolt; mingi said the same thing every time he stepped foot into your home, even though you made the same snacks nearly every time.
"i'd hope so... it's popcorn." you had returned to the kitchen to grab a bowl from a cabinet, and proceeded to dump the popcorn into it now that it was cool enough to handle. "we're almost done with ratched, is it cool if we finish it tonight?"
mingi had since made himself comfortable on the couch, stretching his legs out to rest against the coffee table. he turned to face you from his seat as you spoke. "of course, i was looking forward to the finale, anyways."
he took it upon himself to turn the television on, knowing you'd be joining him on the couch soon enough. he launched netflix and clicked your profile, scrolling until he found the 'recently watched' section. mingi selected the show and got comfortable in his seat. you hurried to your spot next to him, snacks in hand as the introduction to the show began to play on the tv screen.
the show had long since ended, and the two of you weren't quite ready to call it quits just yet; so, you were both facing each other, having a rather lively conversation about something that had transpired in your younger years.
"dude," mingi let out an exasperated laugh as he carded a hand through his hair. "you totally froze when you tried to ask that guy out for prom. what was his name again? hongjoong?"
you groan out in residual embarrassment, hiding your face in your hands to conceal the blush that rose on your cheeks. "do you have to remind me? god, i bet he was just as embarrassed," your voice came out muffled as you spoke into your palms.
mingi's fingers curled around your wrists and pulled your hands away, laughs still bubbling past his lips. "c'mon, y/n, it isn't that bad. when is your date with him anyways?"
your ears picked up on the jealousy that tinged his voice when he brought up the fact that, yes, you did have a date with hongjoong coming up. you had reconnected with him after seeing him on a dating app. curiosity got the best of you and you swiped right — it was a match! you brought it up to mingi last saturday, and you swore that you saw his shoulders deflate just a little when you told him. you decided not to bring it up, but you couldn't help but to think that mingi looked dejected when he left that night. maybe you were thinking too much into it.
"on wednesday, i think– why does it matter to you?"
"awe," whatever hint of jealousy that you think you heard was now drowned in a playful tone. "are you getting shy?"
mingi leaned over to poke you and tickle your side, which earned a shriek from you as you launched yourself backwards to get out of his arm's reach. you batted his hand away once your back was pressed into the opposing arm of the couch. it didn't take much for mingi to close that gap, reaching for your sides once more. somehow you both got into some sort of one-upping-wrestling-match — you trying to get away from mingi, who was dead set on trying to tickle you — that landed you both on the floor.
mingi took the upper hand as he straddled your waist, and pinning your wrists to the rug beneath you. a triumphant smile was plastered on the cheeky bastard's face — he knew he had won. the two of you mirrored each other's labored breathing as you looked up at the man above you, eventually locking eyes.
the same man that got to watch you grow up, and you, him.
the same man who, when your first boyfriend broke your heart, mingi broke his nose.
mingi, who would schedule his weekends to make time for you.
mingi, with that same lazy smile that he's always had. the same smile that caused your heart to skip a beat in your chest.
the realization that you were in love with your best friend hit you like a freight train. as your eyes dipped to his plump lips, you wondered what this meant for your friendship. the last thing you wanted was to lose your best friend.
you sucked in a breath that you hadn't realized you were holding, and that soft noise is what set things into motion. mingi lowered himself on top of you, closing the gap between your bodies. his lips crashed onto yours with a ferocity that you've never seen from mingi before.
you whimper softly, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and yanking it on it. mingi understood what was being asked and pulled away to remove it. this allowed you to catch your breath... and for reality to come crashing down on you.
"mingi," you breathed out, your meek plea too quiet for him to hear over the roar of his own heartbeat in his ears.
he pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the side, before leaning forward to hover over you again, each of his hands posted on either side of your head. you did your best to keep your gaze off of his newly exposed skin.
you repeated, "mingi." it caught his attention now, mingi's eyebrow raising. "we can't do this." you didn't mean a word that came out of your mouth, but the disquietudes that swirled in your head told you to believe otherwise.
"goddamn it, y/n." he almost sounded defeated.
him cursing caught you off guard. it wasn't that you had never heard mingi cuss, because you had and did; but, never at you.
"don't you get it?" his voice was small, almost a whisper. "i love you. i've been in love with you for so long, y/n."
the confession caused your stomach to flip. whether it be out of excitement or fear was to be determined.
"i watch as you choose other people knowing that i can treat you right. i know you, y/n. everything about you. i was made for you."
mingi's face closed in on yours, and the fact that you weren't protesting only encouraged him to continue.
"no one understands you like i do. no one can make me feel so alive like you can. i don't want to live with the regret of knowing that i never tried. i need this for me." his breath fanned your face as he spoke.
his lips were brushing yours by this point. there was no denying the emotions that buzzed between you both. your hands snaked around his shoulders and pulled him forward, officially sealing your fate.
there was no time wasted from here. mingi's mouth connects with yours fiercely. his kiss instantly becomes intense as he lowers himself onto his elbows, allowing him to cradle your head in one of his hands. his fingers grip at your hair, anchoring your head back. when a soft moan slips out of you is when he plunges his tongue into your mouth. mingi moves with passion, and hope; yet, is far more calculated in his movements than you expected.
you lift your legs up to remind him that he is still sitting on you. one of his chuckles falls against your lips as he shifts his weight, using his knees to push your thighs apart and slots himself in the space between them.
when he pulls away, a string of saliva beads between your bottom lips. you break it with your finger as mingi moves to tug at your sweatpants. from your position, you could see that a tent of arousal began to form in the crotch of mingi's jeans. with the joggers out of the way, mingi could see how your panties clung to your core, your arousal blooming on the gusset.
"you have no idea how often i've thought of you like this." admitted mingi, that shit eating grin returning to his plump lips. he trailed a finger over your clothed slit, eyes flicking up to your face to watch your reactions to his touch. noting how you arched your back to chase the feeling, he tugged your panties to the side.
a shiver raced through you once your cunt was exposed, though you blushed feverishly underneath mingi's scrutiny. he continued to toy with you, leisurely and with no hurry. he dipped a finger to your entrance, only to collect your juices on his fingertips and repeat the process.
"don't be a tease, mingi," you whined out in protest, reaching down to lead his hand where you needed them most. you couldn't help but to be impatient. mingi's hands were always nice, and they had recently occupied your mind when you touched yourself.
"oh?" he asked, rhetorically. to pacify your whines, he pushed a finger into you, but held it there at the second knuckle. his thumb took position over your clit and applied enough pressure to make you shudder. "how bad do you want it, then?"
you were in no position to beg to begin with, and mingi knew it. the lack of friction was driving you crazy, but when you decided to gyrate your hips to seek out the pleasure, mingi pinned your hips down to the ground. his hand pressed into your belly, his eyes narrowing in an unspoken dare.
"tell me how bad, baby."
then he began to move his finger inside of you. at first, they were short strokes with him curling it every so often. his thumb had resorted to gentle circles against your clit.
though, when you hadn't spoken to oblige his request, another finger was added. you moaned softly as you were stretched out. usually, two fingers weren't enough to make you feel full. with mingi, however, it was just right.
he began to pull his fingers out of you, stopping just before he left you completely empty — only to thrust them back into you, bottoming out to his knuckles.
you let out a strangled cry, trying to press your knees together from the stimulation but the way mingi had you pinned made it impossible to achieve. he leaned into his hand, beginning to open you up with his fingers.
"please- fuck- mingi!" you managed, throwing your head back at the pleasure.
"there you go, y/n, i knew you could beg for it." mingi's eyes were trained on his hand, watching as your pussy swallowed his fingers up. "i make you feel so good, don't i? look at how wet you are."
you nod fervently, clinging onto every word that left his mouth. "please, mingi... i-... i need you so bad. so bad." you weren't meaning to babble so mindlessly. everything about this situation had your head reeling.
"good fucking girl." he punctuated every one of his words with deep thrusts of his fingers into you. you knew that if he kept it up at this pace, you wouldn't last much longer; even more so when he used his free hand to massage your clit.
the familiar heat began to pool in your stomach. every nerve was alive, your skin crawling with electricity. "m... mingi, i'm so close..." your eyes screwed shut as you tried your best to postpone the impending orgasm.
mingi was a man on a mission as he began to mouth at your breasts through your shirt. you pulled it up and out of the way, pushing your bra down so that your breasts were bare. his eyes drank in the sight of you as more of your body was exposed. he was a starving man sat before a feast. his plush lips closed around one of your nipples, sucking it between his teeth and rolling it between them. you cried out, your hands finding their way into mingi's hair and tugging at it.
the heat licked at your belly and spread down to your thighs as your climax closed in on you. you tried to warn him, but you were only left with your jaw slack as your orgasm rocked your body. stars studded the corners of your vision as your muscles tensed.
mingi fingered you through your orgasm, cooing sweetly into your ear as you rode your high. "you're so beautiful, all for me. all mine. you belong to me."
he didn't give you much time to recuperate from your previous orgasm before he was doffing his pants and sliding his own boxers down his thighs. with how hard he was, you could only imagine the restraint he was using before.
nothing could have prepared you to see that mingi was well endowed. you were grateful for him opening you up earlier, as you were unsure if he'd fit at all. you weren't clueless when it came to sex, but none of your previous partners were quite as big as be was.
he turned to grab a throw pillow off of the couch, motioning for you to bridge your hips. once you did, he slid the pillow beneath you. "there you go." he squeezes your bare thigh in reassurance.
your skin was warm and damp from the exertion from your previous orgasm. your pussy ached to be filled again, and you could only press your legs farther apart as mingi grasped the base of his cock and dragged his tip between your drenched folds. you shiver under his touch, especially when the head of his cock teased your hole.
mingi knew he was on borrowed time. he wanted to get inside of you before he went off like a shotgun, seeing how turned on he was from watching you come undone all over his fingers; yet, he wanted to savor the moment as long as he could. he wasn't quite convinced that this wasn't another wet dream of his. to wake up now would be so unbelievably cruel.
he eased himself into you, eyes oscillating between your pussy and your face. above all else, your safety was his main priority. every cry and whimper was a sign for him to stop, and wait until you gave a signal that you had acclimated to him stretching you out. eventually, he hit the hilt of his cock. his hips pressed against yours as he leaned forward to capture your lips in a kiss.
you caught his bottom lip between your teeth, tugging on it and watching as it snapped back into place. from here, you realized how beautiful that mingi truly was. his bone structure and perfectly pouty lips, and eyes that could pierce right through you.
those pouty lips were drawn into a soft smirk when you pulled away from the kiss. you nodded and shifted your hips, giving mingi the go-head to start moving.
his movements were slow and careful. his honeyed gaze boring a hole straight through you as he watched you take every inch of him. you sucked in a sharp breath through your teeth, but soon the pain dissolved into wanton pleasure and need. you wrapped your legs around him as his tempo began to increase, motivating mingi to speed up.
soon, the only sounds that filled the apartment was skin against skin, and how when he angled his hips just right, turned your individual moans into high pitched whines.
mingi straightened his posture, only to grab your hips and pull you into each thrust that he delivered to you. he was desperate to feel you, desperate to get your walls to remember the shape of him. his eyebrows were knitted together with focus. a bead of sweat trailed from his forehead to his jaw.
"gonna split you in half if i have to," he muttered between heavy pants. "you're mine, y/n."
you had clamped a hand over your mouth to muffle the cries and moans that tumbled from your lips. you were sure that you'd get a noise complaint from the apartment complex tomorrow. the way mingi had you positioned made it so that with every stroke of his dick, he was ramming right into your g-spot. you blinked away tears that threatened to spill as you took what he gave you.
"do you hear me? mine." he was starting to get sloppy as he neared his own orgasm. he pressed your thighs up against your chest as he drilled into you, chasing his own orgasm. "fuck- mine. mine, mine, mine." he chanted the word like it was a mantra.
your core was tightening in another climax.
"mingi... please- i'm yours—.." you mumbled between whines and hiccups. "'m gonna cum,"
mingi's hand returned to your belly, pressing into it and earning a yelp from you. feeling his cock as it fucked you open was overstimulating. all you could manage to do was whimper and writhe beneath him.
"are you going to cum all over– fuck..– this dick? cum for me, pretty girl."
as soon as you tipped over the edge with your own orgasm, mingi's followed suit. his whole body stiffened as he came, a shiver wracking his spine as a pinched moan escaped him. your head was still swimming with pleasure as mingi stuffed you full of his seed.
you both sat still for a few moments following, the two of you catching your breaths. mingi eventually slides out of you, leaving you feeling oddly void inside. he stood, and your gaze followed him as he disappeared into the back of your apartment. once he came back, he had fixed his clothes to cover himself once again. he was carrying a warm washcloth that he used to help you wipe yourself clean.
he joined you in the floor again, laying on his side so that his torso was pressed against your side. he peppered gentle kisses along the side of your face, carefully brushing strands of hair back into place. your body was heavy, and your eyes were half lidded from physical expenditure that took place. you turned to snuggle into mingi's chest, draping an arm over his side.
"mingi." you decided to break the silence, not yet leaving the cover of his chest to meet his eyes.
"yes, y/n?"
"i love you, too. so much. forever." the confession felt natural on your tongue. only then did you decide to tilt your head back to look at him. he wore a goofy smile on his face, now wearing his own flush on his cheeks at your revelation.
"forever." mingi echoed, drawing you into his embrace once more. you welcomed his warmth. when you nuzzled your face into him, his scent wrapped around you.
you could get used to this.
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