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#it's just complicated due to abuse

vizthedatum · 6 months

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Masking is a valid public health precaution, but it is hard for me emotionally. I will be masking more in public though.

As someone with an epidemiology background, this is so painful for me to admit:

I am heavily emotional about masking due to the relationship I had with my ex-spouse, who (to my knowledge) was more able-bodied and immuno-NOT-compromised.

If infection rates are low, masking is not required, and I believe I'm in a group of mostly vaccinated individuals, I will not mask.

I will also not morally judge anyone for having having any sort of infection. I understand that this is a controversial take to my fellow disabled friends and colleagues - but many of them also abide by these guidelines. Even though I've been unmasked on many occasions this year, I have still abided by reasonable and respectful masking (and isolating) policies that MANY of my immunocompromised friends abide by. I am not being completely reckless, and I must keep reminding myself of that.

However, reported rates of respiratory infections are currently up in my area (not just COVID-19 but flu, RSV, and colds). And my place of employment is returning to full-time masking on the 20th.

I will, of course, comply, and intellectually, I also have no qualms about masking more in public spaces apart from my workplace. I am ready and stocked up on masks!!!

Masks are just another reminder of the unfair, emotionally abusive, and, frankly, ill-informed (and scientifically unsound) ways my ex-spouse enforced control over me. The measures we were taking were more extreme than those of my friends who were severely immunocompromised - it was frankly offensive, and people thought we were very, very ill. And yeah, I did get COVID-19 for both of us (as far as I'm aware, I'm the one who got infected and transmitted it even though I have my suspicions that there could have been other ways we got it) - and I was penalized for it. I am not regretful of my actions that led me to get infected. Also - they would not have gotten it from me if they hadn't told me that isolating from them (when I took those risks) was causing them to be suicidal. They never even tested if they had it when I tested positive. We both had the privilege to access (and receive) medical care - we never had symptoms that progressed beyond that of a mild flu/cold. And they made it seem like I was going to kill people with my behavior (I made sure to not be in contact with anyone else during my infection). It was mind-fuck after mind-fuck, and I have every right to be angry about it all.

It was never really about the masks or risk - it was limitation upon limitation on my behavior that impacted my emotional and physical health... and caused me to isolate from my loved ones (who were also practicing safe-covid practices). I had to justify so much (even before I publicly became poly! Honestly, polyamory during our relationship actually got me, with permission (ugh), to get out of the house more, enabling me to get a better grip on my mental health). And... I get that it's part of their own mental health shit, but it wasn't right to do all of that to me.

#masking #epidemiology #public health measure #i'm disabled and chronically ill #i am a proponent of masking #it's just complicated due to abuse #sigh #healing #trauma #neurodivergence #prose #thoughts #i will mask #cw abuse #abuse #control #emotional abuse #sui mention #tw sui mention

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lizardsfromspace · 1 year

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I do have to impress on anyone who wasn't around for it how batshit the reality boom of the 2000s could be. Especially on Fox.

Here are some 100% real 2000s reality shows:

Who's Your Daddy? A woman has to guess which of eight men is her biological father. One of them really is, and if she guesses right she wins $100,000. If one of the seven fake dads convinces her to guess them, he wins $100,000.

Black. White. A white family learns about racism by living a month in blackface, while a black family spends a month in whiteface. The black family was a real family, but the white family was just some actors hired to put on blackface to prove racism exists

Without Prejudice? Five strangers decide which of five strangers gets a cash prize based off clips and their answers to political questions. Cancelled when one of the choosers openly said he'd eliminate all black contestants

Welcome to the Neighborhood. Three conservative white families in a Austin subdivision decide which diverse family gets to move in. Unaired due to being literal housing discrimination

Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay. Two straight men try to pass themselves off as gay and whoever seems more gay gets $50,000. Unaired due to. Due to. Due to

Playing It Straight. A woman tries to find love among fourteen men, half of whom are straight and half of whom are gay, and she must eliminate two men she believes are gay each week. If she ended up picking a straight man in the end, they'd split a million dollars; if she picked a gay man, he'd win a million dollars

Boy Meets Boy. This was Playing It Straight but starring a gay man and he had to eliminate straight people

Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire? He wasn't a multimillionaire. He didn't even have a million dollars in liquid assets. He had a battery conviction Fox claims they didn't see. Because it was the 2000s, somehow this ended up with the woman he won being widely vilified and turned into a national punchline. How dare she complain about a massive corporation tricking her into marrying a lying abuser, good thing Matt Lauer's there to take her down a peg

The Swan. A "ugly" woman is given plastic surgery and wins a prize if she's the hottest at the end of the season. If she's not hot enough by the show's standards she's eliminated and called ugly on national TV

The Biggest Loser. Overweight people engage in competitive crash weight loss that often led to awful health complications. Studies showed basically everyone on the show regained any weight they lost once it was over and they didn't have abusive trainers demanding they take huge health risks to win a competitive weight loss competition. Like the others, this one was cancel-oh, it was a massive hit that ran for 18 seasons? Yikes!

Wife Swap and Trading Spouses. These were the same show and had a wife from one family go to another family that was different politically, racially, culturally, religiously etc. Most famous for the God Warrior

At the time people focused on the likes of Fear Factor but looking back it's wild how many of the worst shows toyed with politics. So many of these shows have a premise that's like "what if we exposed these conservatives to these people they hate?" or hyping themselves up as Important Experiments. Then they'd freak out when they got the kind of viral bigoted freakout they were trying to construct the whole time.

There were also a bunch of horrible reality shows, thankfully this time mostly unpopular, in the 2010s that based themselves around economic themes as a response to the market crash, but that's a story for another time

#television

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genderqueerdykes · 4 months

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here's to trans men with anger issues. here's to trans men who are loud or raise their voices without realizing, neurodivergent or otherwise. here's to trans men who get irritable or frustrated or impatient easily due to trauma, neurodivergence, mental illness, pain, or other disabilities, here's to trans men who can't take care of themselves, here's to trans men who can't stuff down their emotions, here's to trans men with violent intrusive thoughts, here's to trans men who snap without meaning to, here's to paranoid and psychotic trans men who become scared or hostile toward others without causing violence due to delusions and hallucinations, here's to trans men who struggle with homicidal ideation

here's to trans men who are bitter and angry and don't want to get better, here's to trans men who have tried to recover from trauma and have failed, here's to trans men who can't access proper mental health care because they aren't taken seriously, here's to trans men with mental health care trauma, here's to trans men who cope poorly with anger and hit inanimate objects and do "scary" things that don't actually hurt other people physically or emotionally.

here's to trans men with complicated mental health issues who need help but get insulted and called mean, rude, scary, shitty, assholes, dicks, jackasses and abusers. here's to trans men being human, too, and struggling with things just like anyone else. that doesn't make us evil, we are heavily traumatized by cisheteronormative society. here's to trans men who don't hurt other people but get told they do because people won't let men struggle with their emotions. i love you. you're loved. keep your chin up.

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12percentspider · 2 months

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Info time: Diabetes and related issues [this is long but I highly suggest reading]

Do you ever see something and you go "that doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about diabetes to dispute it"? Well, I can help you there. I can help you know enough about diabetes to dispute it if need be. Especially because well, there are seemingly a lot of scams going around where people claim to be diabetic [in my experience it's maybe 3 scammers that just remake] and the information is not very correct in most cases. Not to mention this type of scam pisses me off because I am in fact diabetic, and not only are people preying off of others' lack of information about the chronic condition, but it's also trivializing a serious lifelong condition that can be fatal. If you have now or have lost a loved one to diabetes complications, you are already aware of how dangerous it can be as well as how dangerous misinformation is as well.

What is diabetes? Diabetes is a chronic condition related to the endocrine system- the pancreas specifically. However, if complications get serious enough other parts of the body will be affected. In type 2 diabetes, the body's cells have become resistant to insulin, which is a hormone produced by the pancreas that allows cells to use glucose from the blood- your body's energy it needs to function. When someone is 'type 2', the food that person is eating is not able to fuel them, regardless of caloric content. Glucose is commonly called "blood sugar". It's a type of sugar that is processed and then transported via the circulatory system to your cells where it's needed. With type 1 diabetes (which used to be called "juvenile diabetes"), the pancreas does not produce any/enough insulin for some reason or another, generally because of autoimmune or other damage. [For me personally, I was diagnosed as an adult and had to have it confirmed as type 1 due to the presence of autoimmune antibodies, also apparently my pancreas hadn't quite given up at that point.] As we've seen before, insulin allows your body to use the food you are putting into it. As a double whammy, you can have type 1 with resistance, so not only is your body not producing any/enough insulin, what's there can't be used properly. [RIP Spider who has this] So to explain the effects, think about what happens when you're literally starving. Now imagine that's happening no matter how much you eat. Your body may go into starvation mode and store fat. This can be misleading, which when combined with fatphobia has people concluding that "well, you have diabetes because you're fat, duh". Heck, I have/had diabetic relatives who believed that eating too many carbs will automatically cause the condition because that's what everyone is told/assumes. Eventually, you'd starve and your body would start deteriorating as so. HOWEVER because you would have so much glucose that just sits there because it can't be used, your kidneys are going to work overtime to try and correct this- and they can't do it alone. Your liver can also suffer severe damage. That's not to mention a whole host of other complications that can occur.

So what about it? Well, obviously there are treatments. Insulin injections have existed since the 1920s. There are also medications that can help your body actually use the insulin it's being provided, be it naturally or artificially. So yes, people with diabetes are dependent on prescriptions to survive. My grandma lost a sister in childhood due to insulin treatments apparently not being available in the extremely rural area they were living in at the time. More recently, the israeli occupation has banned insulin from being distributed to Palestinians. [Insulin has also been used historically in psychiatric hospitals to force low blood sugar in psychiatric patients, but that's a whole other rabbithole about psychiatric abuse.] There are resources for the US and beyond if you or someone you know and/or love are in dire straits financially and need help with insulin or other diabetes medications/ related medical help. That's only one aspect of treatment, though. Because pain, stress, hormone changes, other medical issues, and plenty of other factors can raise your blood sugar to dangerous levels, other kinds of treatment to manage other factors may be necessary.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get to specifics. So the most common problem you're going to see mentioned is high blood sugar. We've already covered what the effects are, but what is considered high? For the most part, "high" is 200 milligrams per deciliter. My CGM (continuous glucose monitor) lists "high" as anything 181 or higher but stops giving an exact number after 350. This is why I had a good laugh that time I saw a scammer using an image of a meter reading glucose in the 120s- that's good blood sugar. If you're going to get even more specific you want your pre-breakfast blood sugar to be 80-130. So when you see an accompanying image reading in the 500s, that's extremely dangerous. That's "you're in danger of going into a coma" dangerous.

Insulin pricing? How come I'm seeing people saying they need $300? In the US, pricing cap was set to $35 somewhat recently. What this means is that per insulin pen (as far as I've experienced, the above-linked resource post should have links with better clarification) it's $35. Can't be more than that for one pen. How many doses that provides is very up in the air. It absolutely varies from person to person. I have relatives with type 2 that have to inject a dose of very long-acting insulin weekly, one has gone back and forth with daily doses on top of that. I'm type 1 and have to take one dose of long-acting nightly with injections of a short-acting insulin before every meal, with the exact dosage amounts varying per meal. Insulin is measured in units (there's probably an actual mL amount, both of mine are 100 units per mL with a 3mL pen). How many units someone needs is determined with their medical provider (or care team? When I went to 'diabetes education' after diagnosis I was set up with a "care team").

But at any rate, if someone is in an emergency situation in the US should be able to get an insulin pen for $35 pretty much when they get to a pharmacy. Yes, I get that this can be difficult in some situations, but that's outside the concept of insulin prices.

If someone's blood sugar is over 500 though, they almost certainly need a hospital more than they need an insulin pen. Yes, alright, the actual real single mother on twitter who was the source of the profile images/meter images that whatever the current url for vero-og has stolen and been using for months... that was actually months ago and I'm sure she doesn't need to be told to go to the hospital right now. [That said, if you get an ask from someone and the url is a variation off of 'vero-og' that is a confirmed scammer.] And then on top of that, yes, why would you block people that can get you free or discounted insulin? If someone was offering to save your life for free or find you what you need for far less than what you were expecting to spend, why wouldn't you take it? Unless what you're actually after is money.

SO TO RECAP: Insulin does not cost $300, $350, $370, whatever someone is sending you an ask about. In the US, it is federally capped at $35 per pen, with further resources available, as well as further resources being available internationally. If you need help, please be honest about it. I promise there are people who care, you don't have to try and explain yourself- but it absolutely does not cost that much and if it did, there are ways to lower the cost by quite a bit if there aren't resources to make it free. Diabetes is a lifelong chronic condition that is not caused by "being fat" or "eating too much", it is caused by your body not functioning right and your body can starve no matter how much food you eat. Unfortunately, people have been lying on this site for months if not years claiming to have type 1 with an insulin emergency. These people cannot possibly have diabetes, or they would be well aware that they do not need hundreds of dollars to get their insulin. They are counting on you not knowing this so you will donate to them. The 'vero-og' scammer had been harassing someone who donated and threatening them with the intention of bullying more money out of the donor.

#refdesk

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mistydeyes · 1 year

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141 and what their patient file looks like

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summary: This is what I imagine everyone's favorite pharmacist as well as medics see when they look at 141's medical file.

Based on this pharmacist and 141 interactions

pairing: Task Force 141 x pharmacist!Reader

warnings: medical/pharmacy terminology, medical inaccuracies, swearing, depiction of wounds, mention of substance use disorder and abuse

Terms

PMH - Past medical history - the total sum of a patient's health status prior to the presenting problem

FH - Family history - contributing family history, generally parents and siblings

SH - Social history - contributing social behavior and routine

a/n: not canon at all! this is just a reference for me

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Price

PMH

Height: 1.88 m (6' 2'')

Weight: 93 kg (205 lbs)

Blood type: O+

Extensive physical injuries

21+ stab wounds - 2 required antibiotics for recurrent infection

9x bullet wound - 5x in the extremities, 4x in the chest (no perforation of vital organs), healed without complication

5x abrasion collar - 1 near right eyebrow became infected following medical eval and stitches

3x diagnosed concussion

Aspirin-sensitivity

Previously evaluated for tinnitus and hearing loss

Father - deceased at 76 from liver disease - 50 pack years, mycardial infarction (x2)

Mother - deceased at 84 due to chronic heart failure (CHF) -Glaucoma, asthma, CHF

Sister - Sports induced asthma, hypothyroidism

Negative family history of diabetes, hypertension, and cancer

Smokes - 30 pack years

Drinks regularly - 4-5 hard liquor each weekend; 1 glass of whiskey occasionally

Physically active - Enjoys recreational activities such as hiking, swimming, and biking

Has 1 dog, currently under the care of pt's younger sister

History of monogynous long term relationships, currently single

Medication list + indications

Amoxicillin/Clavulanic acid 625mg - Infection

Morphine 15mg + Ketamine 3mg - IV - Pain

Paracetamol 750mg - Pain

Buproprion SR 150mg - Smoking cessation - not-taking est 2004

Allergies

Aspirin allergy - Reaction: hives and asthma - ONLY PRESCRIBE PARACETAMOL

No environmental, food, or animal allergies

Notes

Patient has denied smoking cessation options

Soap

PMH

Height: 1.88 m (6' 2'')

Weight: 91 kg (200 lbs)

Blood type: O+

7x stab wound - 6 required antibiotics for recurrent infection, 2 MRSA resistant

2x bullet wound - 2x in lower extremities, healed with no complication

6x abrasion collar

2x broken collar bone - healed, with no complication

Lactose sensitivity - Recurrent IBS if ingested

Chipped first left molar following opening a beer with teeth

Father deceased at 68 due to heart failure - Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus, high cholesterol

Mother - Stage I HTN (hypertension)

Sister #1 - Postpartum depression, generalized anxiety disorder

Sister #2 - Elevated cholesterol/triglycerides

Brother - No known chronic health issues

Positive family history of diabetes and hypertension, but no cancer

Drinks regularly and heavily - 8-12 beers and 2-3 glasses of hard liquor each weekend; 1 glass of scotch occasionally

Smokes socially - 5 pack years

Physically active

Close relationship with family, has 4 dogs at home under the care of pt's mothers

Avid fan of The Glasgow Football Club

Medication list + indications

Clindamycin 300mg with ciprofloxacin 400mg - Infection

Amoxicillin/Clauvanic acid 625mg - Infection

Vancomycin 18mg/kg - MRSA resistant infection

Paracetamol 500mg - Pain

Morphine 15mg IV - Pain

Doxycycline 100mg - Acne discontinued in 2004

Allergies

Insect stings - Observed anaphylaxis to childhood bee sting

Notes

Patient demonstrates medication non-adherence, counsel ESPECIALLY with antibiotics

Scored 6 on Alcohol use disorders identification test for consumption (AUDIT C)

Gaz

PMH

Height: 1.86 m (6' 1'')

Weight: 93 kg (205 lbs)

Blood type: B-

3x stab wound - healed, no complications

1x broken collar bone

2x broken femur

Diagnosed concussion - evaluated in Oct. '19

Father - Type 1 Diabetes, high cholesterol

Mother - Vitiligo, Stage 3 breast cancer

Positive family history of maternal cancer and diabetes, but no hypertension

Social drinker - 3-4 beers each weekend

Does not smoke

Physically active - Enjoys morning and evening runs

Enjoys spicy food and tries to introduce into diet

When on leave, enjoys attending concerts and music festivals

Medication list + indications

Piriteze 10mg - Allergic rhinitis

Fluticasone Propionate - 93 mcg/actuation - Allergic rhinitis

Paracetamol 500mg - Pain

Allergies

Seasonal - Pollen and pet dander

β-Lactam allergy - Reaction: anaphylaxis evaluated in '19

Notes

Organ donor

Ghost

PMH

Height: Weight: 1.93 m (6' 4'')

WeighT: 100 kg (220 lbs)

Blood type: AB-

Extensive cuts and scarring to entire body

4+ stab wounds - healed, no complications

Gun shot to lower abdomen - healed, no complications, evaluated in Nov. '22

13+ collar abrasion

2x broken nose

Childhood injury of broken tibia and large toe

Psych eval - History of depression and post traumatic stress disorder, childhood history indicates emotional and physical abuse

Father - status unknown Diagnosed alcohol use disorder

Brother - deceased, cause of death non-contributory - Substance use disorder

Mother - deceased, cause of death non-contributory - Hypertension, thrombophilia (blood clotting disorder)

Positive family history of hypertension, but no diabetes or cancer

Social drinker - 3-4 glasses of hard liquor each weekend

Smokes socially - 10 pack years

Physically active - Enjoys nightly walks

Psych eval - Other squad members act as his emotional support

Expressed interest in cats and tattoo art (FLAGGED: Further input and comments from other medical professionals would be appreciated)

Medication list + indications

Paracetamol 1000mg - Pain

Amoxicillin/Clavulanic acid 625mg - Infection

Morphine 20mg + Ketamine 4.5mg IV - Pain

Mafenide acetate 5% topical - Antimicrobial, burn wounds

Fluoxetine 20mg twice daily - Depression - not taking est 2001

Allergies

NKDA - No known drug allergies

No environmental, food, or animal allergies

Psych recommends evaluation of a pet, such as cat, for pt while on leave

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seonghrtz · 21 days

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𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 ✶ nanami kento

꒰ first sight ! ꒱ an invitation to a palace ball gives a young woman hope of reuniting with the dashing stranger she met in the woods.

❛❛ an unlikely encounter in the woods between two desperate souls led to the blossoming of a beautiful friendship ⸻ or perhaps something more. ❜❜

pairing. prince!nanami kento x (cinderella)fem!reader.

contents. cinderella alternative universe, fluff, slight angst, friends to lovers, he fell first he fell harder, royal!au, mentions of death, occ nanami.

amy's note. hi sweetie, this is amy!!! this story was more inspired by the cinderella live action movie (2015). i love this movie and have watched it so many times with my mom that i know it by heart hihihi. also, i had to include the iconic scenes of cinderella and the prince in the garden and the stepmother breaking the crystal slipper!!! and one quote from jane austen's pride and prejudice. in short, just nanami being the prince we deserve!!! i hope you enjoy it and have a good read <3

comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

𝕺𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, there was a beautiful, sweet girl called Y/n. This little girl lived a quiet life with her family. Her father was a merchant who traveled frequently and her mother stayed at home, due to her fragile health, teaching her daughter and taking care of her. Although it was a simple life, Y/n was happy and that was enough for her.

However, fate doesn't always have a happy ending for everyone, and her mother eventually passed away due to health complications. And with her last breath, she wished that her daughter would always be kind and gentle, that she would have courage and always want to do good, even when evil tries to prevail. And Y/n promised her mother that her kindness would prevail in the most difficult moments of her life and that she would live a good life.

Not long after her mother's death, the girl's father decided to remarry, looking for a way for his daughter to have a mother figure, not to replace her biological mother, but someone who could be by her side when he couldn't be. Things didn't go well in the family, her stepmother and stepsisters were mean and abusive, taking advantage of her kindness when her father was away on business. And then everything fell apart when the girl's father had an accident on one of his trips and died, leaving his daughter at the mercy of her stepmother and stepsisters' selfish will.

Y/n was reduced to a maid instead of a family member. She was moved from her room to the attic and had to do the housework, washing and cooking all day. She watched as everything her mother believed in and liked gradually disappeared, while things became more her stepmother's style.

One day, tired of everything, the young woman rode into the forest. The wind in her hair and the tears drying on her face felt a little liberating. That same day, she crossed paths with a young man named Kento, who wasn't having his best day either.

An unlikely encounter in the woods between two desperate souls led to the blossoming of a beautiful friendship ⸻ or perhaps something more.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ✶

Y/n awoke with the sunrise. After years, the young woman had become accustomed to the routine and every morning she rose early to prepare breakfast for her stepmother and stepsisters and then set about cleaning the house. At the very least, doing the chores around the house kept her mind busy.

Just as she was preparing the materials to clean the house, a knock on the front door echoed throughout the house. Y/n left the bucket of water she was holding in a corner and went to the door, surprised by the sudden visit. It was too early for people to leave their homes, and the postman had come the day before.

"Good morning" the young woman smiled politely at the stranger in front of her "What can I do for you?"

"Good morning, miss." The young man fumbled with the bag hanging next to his body and pulled out an envelope, holding it out to the young woman. Y/n took the envelope and watched as the boy said goodbye and walked away without saying another word.

The young woman looked surprised, but shrugged her shoulders. She made her way to the pantry where her stepmother was having breakfast and asked to be excused before entering the room.

"What did I say about coming into the living room while I'm having breakfast?" her stepmother said with a harsh tone.

"Excuse me, but a boy just came by and left this envelope." The young woman placed the envelope on the table and walked away, watching as her stepmother picked it up and opened it.

Y/n waited for a reaction and was startled when the older woman in front of her suddenly stood up from the breakfast table and gave several quick and shouting orders.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, GO WAKE UP MY DAUGHTERS! WE HAVE A ROYAL BALL TO ATTEND AND WE NEED THE BEST DRESSES!”

"A royal ball?" she asked confused.

"The King is giving a ball to find a wife for his son, who will inherit the kingdom, now run along because I need to go into town to find the three best dresses in town! One of my daughters is coming back married that night!"

"Oh, ma'am, that's very kind of you!"

"What?" The stepmother put her hands on her waist.

"The dress..."

"Oh dear, and who says the dress is for you?" the older woman laughed with glee, "Two will be for my beautiful daughters and the other will be for me, I will not spend my money to buy something for you to wear to the ball."

"But could I go to the ball?" she asked hopefully.

"Um..." the stepmother looked the young woman up and down, "If you've done all your chores for the day and have a dress, maybe you could go."

"Ah, thank you, ma'am!" Y/n smiled excitedly at the idea of going to a royal ball.

"Now go wake up my daughters!"

After waking her step-sisters, the young woman watched as the house descended into chaos. The two sisters screamed excitedly at the idea of the royal ball, while their stepmother ordered them to go to the city. Y/n felt true peace only when the house was deserted, just her and the animals in it. And without further ado, the young woman smiled to herself and ran to the stable. Luckily, her stepmother had left just when she had a secret appointment.

On the day she received the news of her father's death, and on the same day she rode aimlessly into the forest, Y/n had met Kento, a young man who had happened to receive tragic news and had ridden into the forest to relax. After the unexpected meeting, the young woman and the man agreed to meet every day in the same place at the same time to talk about their tragedies and successes. However, Y/n had kept these meetings secret, afraid that if her stepmother found out, she would forbid her to meet the boy she knew so little about.

With a slight smile on her face, the young woman rode to the meeting point and was surprised to see Kento waiting for her. Usually, she was the first to arrive, but the euphoria over the news of the ball had delayed her a few minutes.

"Miss." Kento smiled at the sight of her and helped her off the horse.

"Ken, I'm sorry I'm late!" she said, smoothing down the unruly strands that had been messed up by the wind "The invitation to the royal ball ended up stirring things up at home."

"Speaking of the royal ball, will you be attending?" Kento tried to hide the slight hint of hope in his words.

"I still have my doubts about that," she sighed, sitting down on a log next to her horse. "My stepmother said that if I managed to finish all my chores for the day, and if I had a dress, I could go to the ball."

"If they treat you like that, why don't you leave?"

"It's not that easy...not to mention that it's not that bad, other places can be more hostile."

"I see..." the young man sits down next to the woman, "I'd like you to go to the ball so we can have at least one dance.”

The young man's words made her laugh.

"Then I hope you'll save a dance for me."

"I'm saving all the dances for you, you're the only one I want to dance with on the ball night." Kento's words made Y/n feel shy.

"I think there will be many more interesting ladies to dance with." The young woman shifted her gaze to the trees that made up the scenery around her.

"I have no interest in other ladies, none of them can compare to you."

"Kento! You shouldn't say that!"

"Why not? My mother taught me to be honest and I'm just telling the truth," a small smile appeared on his lips.

"Maybe you shouldn't be so direct with your honesty..." The young woman's face burned at the statement of the man next to her.

"Well, I wish you'd come to the ball so we could see each other outside of this forest for once."

"And dance the night away?" she laughed lightly.

"And dance the night away," Kento repeated her question, but this time as a concrete statement, leaving no doubt about his intentions with the young woman on the night of the royal ball.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ✶

If Y/n said she didn't expect her stepmother and stepsisters to make her day the busiest of her life, running around doing chores and being responsible for every little detail of the preparations for the royal ball, she would be lying.

She'd woken up earlier than usual to get her mother's gown ready for the royal ball, but it wasn't long before her stepmother started barking orders, causing her gown to be forgotten. Cleaning the stairs, feeding the animals in the barn, helping her step-sisters put on their huge, garish party dresses, helping them fix their hair... among other things, Y/n had no time to finish her own dress.

Perhaps her meeting with Kento should only take place in the forest, hidden in secret. There would be no other way, not if her stepmother still had the power to dictate orders and interfere in her life as if she couldn't make her own decisions.

When she finished climbing the stairs that led to the attic where her bedroom had become, the young girl was surprised to open the door and find her mother's dress mended, brand new.

"How…?" Y/n approached the dress, delighted, "Oh, it doesn't matter, thank you to whoever made it!" She smiled excitedly, now she could meet Kento and dance with him all night, just as she had said she would if she could attend the ball.

The young woman took a quick shower to get ready for the ball. There wasn't much to prepare, she fixed her dress to her body, put on her pink shoes with low heels, applied pink lipstick and put on her mother's pearl necklace before fixing her hair. She didn't have much, just as she didn't need much. Y/n was just happy to be at the ball and to have the opportunity to meet her friend. And she preferred to keep it simple.

But her happiness was short-lived...

When she came down to the parlor just as her stepmother and daughters were about to leave for the ball. Looking at the girl in her ball gown, with a happy expression on her face, Madame Tremaine saw the perfect moment to break her like fragile old porcelain.

"What's that?" Her stepmother's superior look didn't intimidate Y/n.

"I'm ready to go to the royal ball!"

"You? The ball?" Drizella laughed anasally, "But not even on the day the pigs fly!"

"Mom, I don't want to be seen with the maid! Look at these rags! They don't even compare to our fancy dresses!" Anastasia commented, looking up and down at the young woman in front of her.

"But you promised I could go if I had a dress and finished my homework," the young woman said, remembering the agreement they had made when they were invited to the ball.

"I don't remember promising you anything," Tremaine circled Y/n like a predator circles its prey. "You must have misunderstood, my dear. Never in my life would I go to such an important ball with a filthy, ridiculous little girl like you." The woman held the young woman's chin tightly, forcing her to look into her cold, hateful eyes.

"I don't understand... I've never done anything to you..." Y/n mumbled, her eyes watering as much from the force her stepmother put on her jaw as from the words spoken to her.

"You're an insignificant, annoying little thing, you know that?" Tremaine let go of Y/n's chin and smiled sideways before reaching for the pearl necklace that adorned the young woman's neck and ripping it off with her own hand, startling her. "Oops!" the woman smiled as she tore the sleeve and front of the dress, making her daughters laugh at the scene and help their mother destroy the dress, "Come on girls, we can't be late for the ball.”

Y/n felt her body shake, and when they were gone, the young woman ran quickly, sobbing, to the garden ⸻ the place where she had so many memories with her family, with her mother, and which Tremaine had never been able to change. She sat down on a bench and began to cry, not just for what had happened a few moments ago, but for everything she had been through these past few years without her family.

"But what is a beautiful girl doing crying instead of having fun at the ball?" The voice of a mysterious person startled Y/n, who was trapped in her own world of memories.

"Who... Who are you?" The young woman looked up, startled, and rubbed her eyes to wipe away the tears.

"Your fairy godmother, dear! Or rather, your Fairy Godfather!"

"What?" The young woman looked at the person before her. He was tall, with white hair, blue eyes hidden behind glasses, and a pair of large shiny wings.

"You can call me Gojo if you prefer, now come on, hurry up, we have a ball to attend!" Gojo said hurriedly, pulling Y/n to get up from the bench.

"But I can't go to the ball like this!"

"What do you mean?" His glasses slipped down his nose.

"My dress is torn, I can't go like this."

"And why didn't you say so before?" Gojo raised an eyebrow, "Do you mind a few casual changes?" He pulled his wand from his pocket and smiled when he saw the young woman nod, "Then let's go!"

Gojo scratched his throat before dictating the dress, which completely transformed. The pink quickly turned to blue, and the single layer became several. The dress became voluminous, shiny and elegant, fit for a princess ⸻ and Y/n couldn't help but feel like one in that wonderful dress.

"Let me see your feet," Gojo ordered.

"What? My feet? Why do you want to see my feet?"

"Are you crazy thinking I won't do my full job? You need a proper shoe for that dress!"

Without questioning the fairy, Y/n lifted the hem of her dress to reveal her pink shoes, which in less than a few seconds had been transformed into a beautiful pair of crystal heels.

"Are they crystal?" the young woman asked in shock.

"The real question is, why not crystal? It's just a little gift, honey," Gojo smiled sideways, "Now hurry up, or you'll miss the first dance! Do you have any pumpkins?"

"Pumpkin? There are some over there." Y/n pointed to one of the corners of the garden.

"Wonderful. We have a pumpkin and some mice, perfect for a carriage and its horses." Gojo smiled proudly before casting another spell, transforming the pumpkin into a huge, detailed carriage and the nearby mice into majestic horses, "Now let's go, you can't be late!" He pulled Y/n into the carriage.

"But what about my stepmother and my step-sisters? They'll recognize me when they see me at the ball!"

"Don't worry about that!" Gojo tapped the young girl's head with his wand, "And remember, sweetie, all this magic here will only last until midnight, no longer."

"Until midnight?" Y/n smiled sweetly, "That's long enough, I don't need more than that. Thank you for everything you've done for me."

"No thanks, sweetie, I'm your fairy godfather, it's just my job. Now go to the ball and have fun, break it out!"

"All right!" Y/n laughed, "Thanks again!"

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ✶

Y/n was late.

She realized this when she finished climbing the endless stairs that led to the entrance of the ballroom and found the doors closed.

The young woman took a deep breath before opening the doors, allowing a glimpse of the stairs that would lead to the dance floor and where the other guests were gathered. She bowed when she saw the king on a throne at the top of the hall and walked quietly down the stairs, but the people began to spread out, forming a corridor from one side of the hall to the other.

Noticing the person on the other side, the young woman smiled and walked excitedly toward the person in the middle of the hall.

"Ken," Y/n smiled at the sight of the blonde.

"You came." Kento smiled, lost in the beauty of the woman before him.

"You promised me a dance," she smiled at the memory of their last encounter in the forest.

"Then I would like... I mean... allow me the greatest of pleasures by granting me the honor of letting you lead this... first..."

"Dance?" the young woman said, completing the prince's request.

"Yes, dance." Kento smiled awkwardly with a blush on his cheeks and ears as he saw the woman before him nod in agreement.

Gently pulling her by the waist and holding one of her hands, Kento led the dance as soon as the music began, whirling her around the hall. The young prince held her tightly, afraid that this moment would be one of his dreams, for he had found her fragile in the forest at a time when his own heart was fragile.

"Everyone is looking at you." Y/n mumbled sheepishly as she noticed the eyes of the guests watching them dance around the ballroom.

"You couldn't be more wrong." Kento laughed slightly, "They're looking at you."

When the music for the first dance ended, there was no waiting for the next dance to begin. Soon, the ballroom floor was filled with couples happily dancing to the lively music of the orchestra.

"Come with me." Kento whispered in Y/n's ear and led her out of the room.

"So... you're the prince?" The young woman asked even though it was as obvious as sunlight. She wanted an excuse to strike up a conversation as they walked to wherever Kento wanted to take her.

"Not the Prince, but one of the princes that exist in the world," Kento said awkwardly, "There are several... not just me..."

"But aren't you an apprentice, as you told me when we first met?"

"Yes, I'm an apprentice monarch who is still learning his trade." Nanami's words made Y/n laugh briefly, "First of all, I should apologize. Please forgive me for my lies, I imagined you would treat me differently if you knew I was the prince of these lands, I thought you were a good honest girl and now I have proof that you really are."

"So... no more surprises?" the young woman asks the boy, holding out her hand and showing him her little finger.

"No more surprises." Kento gently intertwined his little finger with the young woman's, wishing the world could stop right then and there. "This way, I promise we'll be right there," he said as he led her through the castle's vast garden.

"Won't they miss you at the ball?"

"Maybe," he shrugged, "but I'm not planning on going back just yet."

"Is there a problem?"

“If I go back now, they'll try to push me towards a lady of their choosing." Nanami said dejectedly, maybe he didn't want to talk about his problems, not on such a magical night. "They want me to marry for advantage.”

"Well, I think you should rule your heart," the young woman said with a slight smile.

"Perhaps, but I must listen to and obey the king's wishes."

"He's your father, Kento, I'm sure he'll understand your point of view, you just need the right time"

"I've never shown this place to anyone before," Kento said, changing the subject when they reached the spot he wanted to show the young woman. "It's a secret garden, I thought you might like it.”

"I love it!" Y/n smiled as she explored the area until she came to a swing attached to a tree.

"Please," the young prince said, motioning for her to sit on the swing as soon as he noticed her gaze.

"I don't know if I should," the young woman said shyly.

"Yes, you should."

"No, I shouldn't."

"Yes, you should."

"No."

"Yes!"

"Okay." She shrugged, gave in and sat down on the swing, and Nanami soon began to push her gently.

Y/n had as much fun as Nanami. They'd never met outside the confines of the forest, and even after so many surprises that beautiful night, they couldn't help but feel the magic ⸻ and love ⸻ in the air. There, at that moment, Nanami Kento wasn't a prince about to be thrown to the first rich princess who would sign a contract favorable to the kingdoms, and Y/n wasn't the maid of her stepmother and stepsisters who was constantly being abused. They were just themselves, without their titles, without what defined them, they were just two souls in love, enjoying the time they had left.

When Y/n's crystal shoe accidentally came off her foot, Nanami quickly stopped pushing her on the swing and crouched down in front of her, taking the shoe in his hands. He held up the hem of her dress, revealing Y/n's bare foot, and gently picked it up to put the shoe back on her foot.

"Is it crystal?" Nanami's hand, holding the young woman's foot, unconsciously patted her ankle.

"And why wouldn't it be?" she said gracefully, "Thank you."

"Y/n... would you accept..." The young prince's speech was cut short as the clock struck midnight.

"It's midnight..." The young woman got up from the swing, causing Nanami to get up with her in fright. "I have to go!"

"Wait!" Nanami watched as the young woman hurried past the exit of the garden. "Why do you have to go now?"

"Your Royal Highness is very kind, thank you for the wonderful evening," she said as she walked in quick steps, "I will never forget every second we spent together, it was magical. And who knows, maybe we can meet again in the forest."

"Why are you in such a hurry?"

"It's hard to explain! But I promise we'll meet again!" Y/n smiled as she ran frantically.

"Y/n! Where are you going?" Kento ran after the young woman, but unfortunately, there were several obstacles in his way. It was as if the universe didn't want him to reach her at this moment.

As she descended the castle's long staircase to the exit gates, she lost one of her crystal slippers on one of the steps. Fearing the final chime of the clock, the young woman left the shoe behind, believing that its magic would eventually fade, and it would be nothing more than a lost heel.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ✶

All the magic vanished when Y/n arrived home, leaving only her little crystal shoe on her foot. The young woman bent down and picked up the only remaining shoe ⸻ since she had lost the other pair ⸻ and smiled as she looked at the shoe in her hands. The fact that it was there proved that it hadn't been a dream, but a real event.

Y/n went up to the attic and on a loose floor ⸻ where she kept some of her mother's things ⸻ she put on the crystal slipper. She knew deep down that something bad would happen if her stepmother found out that she hadn't just gone to the ball, but had danced with the prince.

Ah, the prince.

Not even in her wildest dreams would the young girl imagined that the boy she had met in the forest, and who had been meeting her at the same place at the same time ever since, was actually the prince, the future king, of the kingdom where she lived.

Kento had always been polite and kind to her, always willing to listen and talk about anything. He was already the man of every girl's dreams, and now that she knew his status, it had only been confirmed ⸻ but Y/n didn't want him because of his status

However, apparently he would only remain in her dreams...

The next day, Y/n went back to her routine as if the night before had never happened. She woke up early, prepared the food, took care of the animals in the stable, cleaned the house... Nothing was different, except for her memories and the hidden crystal slipper.

When her step-sisters finally gave her a break and spared her from hearing about the men who had danced at the ball and how a young girl in a blue dress had dared to go straight to the prince after setting foot in the ballroom, Y/n headed for the attic.

In the afternoon, she would go to the forest as usual to meet Kento. The young woman wasn't sure if he would show up that afternoon, but she hoped with all her heart that he would be waiting for her among the trees. As he always did.

As soon as she opened the door to her room, the young woman noticed that some floors were out of place, and when she noticed that her memory box was out of its hiding place, her heart began to beat fast and her palms began to sweat with nervousness.

"Is this what you were looking for?" Tremaine's voice startled Y/n, but her fear was soon replaced by surprise when she saw the slipper in her hand. "Oh dear, don't look so scared. I'm only going to ask you once. From whom did you steal it?"

"I didn't steal it from anyone, it was given to me!"

"Given to you? Oh, for heaven's sake, nothing is ever given, especially to someone like you!"

"I swear it was a gift!"

"So you're going to insist on the lie?" Tremaine let out a bored sigh and walked to the attic exit, tapping Y/n on the shoulder on the way, "Good thing you'll have plenty of time to think... Oh oops!" The woman slammed the crystal slipper into the door frame, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

Y/n's eyes filled with tears as she saw the shattered shoe on the floor, barely noticing Tremaine lock the door. The young woman knelt down and picked up each shard, feeling the tears blur her vision. The first gift she had received after so many years was broken and there was nothing that could fix it. Now only the memories remained.

Y/n sighed, wiped the tears from her eyes with her hands and sat down by the window. She had nowhere else to go, she wouldn't be meeting with Kento like she used to. The only thing she had left were her animal friends to keep her company.

Not long after, the door to the attic was opened, frightening the young woman ⸻ she swore that Tremaine would lock her in there for days, or perhaps just until the next day. But she was soon surprised to see a palace guard instead of her stepmother.

"Miss, please come with me.”

Without saying a word, Y/n followed him down the stairs to the living room. When she reached the living room, she noticed a figure she knew well. His clothes were in perfect condition, with no wrinkles or stains, his blond hair was perfectly styled with not a single strand out of place, and his posture was upright and impeccable. There was no doubt that Nanami Kento was a perfect prince.

"Your Royal Highness," Y/n said, bowing.

"I thought we agreed to treat each other without formalities, Y/n." Nanami turned, his serious expression relaxing slightly as he met the bright eyes of the young woman before him.

"Forgive me." Y/n murmured shyly.

"When you ran away during the ball and didn't show up in the forest as usual, I thought maybe I had disappointed you by revealing my true identity as the prince. I thought maybe I should give you some space, but I couldn't. Your name is engraved on my heart, and you are the only thing that crosses my mind every moment I breathe in and out. Every day I looked forward to seeing you for even a few seconds in the forest, and when you didn't show up today, I felt like my world was about to fall apart. I looked for you all over the kingdom, I went from house to house looking for the owner of the lost crystal slipper, I went to the edge of the forest looking for you. I love you, most ardently. I'm yours with or without the crown". Nanami approached Y/n and held her hand to his chest, making the young woman feel his heart beat faster.

"But Nanami, I'm just a simple farmer's girl, and as much as my heart wants to throw myself into your arms and give myself completely, I don't know if I'm suited for such a responsibility."

"A wise woman once told me that we must rule our own hearts. Please come with me and I will be yours forever.”

"Eternally mine? That doesn't sound so bad..." Y/n murmured, her heartbeat calming down to a feeling that was too good to be true.

"So, what do you say?" Kento smiled slightly.

"I'll be yours, any way you want.”

Then Nanami, overcome by the heat of the moment, passionately kissed the woman of his dreams. The kiss was calm, there was no need to rush, it was tender and addictive.

Y/n smiled as they moved away from each other and felt Kento place something in her hand. The young woman looked down at her hand, noticing the missing pair of her crystal shoes.

"You... you found them," she looked at the shoe in her hands, "I don't have the other pair."

"I can have a thousand crystal shoes made if you want." Nanami said with a serious face, showing that he wasn't joking.

"That won't be necessary." Y/n laughed at his lover's expression. "It's just a reminder that that magical night wasn't just a nice dream."

Kento smiled slightly and hugged Y/n tightly. Finally, after a long time, the girl he had always dreamed of, the girl who had always made his heart race, she would finally be by his side forever, there would be no need for him to run off into the forest, because she would already be within reach.

221 notes · View notes

callsign-dexter · 3 months

Text

Saving Grace 18+

Major Trigger Warning: Domestic and Child Abuse

Request: Ok, I blame your blog for my growing desire on Kelly Severide 😭😭😭 and your smut was soo goood! I'm in Love with your writing !

Sooooo I kindly want to ask you for a little bday (it's Sunday but it's fine if you don't have time) present with angsty Kelly, cause I'm sure we'll love some fluff too 🤗🙊 maybe a little something where they are a couple and she's a paramedic and he's always cute around her and wants her to be save on every call. But one time they're all get called to a gang fight and as she's treating a victim she gets attacked with a knife which nearly kills her and Kelly's world stops when she's in his arms full of blood and barely hanging on. He never leaves her side when she's taken to Med and even there he's by her side begging her to come back to him. Just cute and fluffy Kelly cause daaaaaamn he's so great 🥹 oh and ofc it's a Happy Ending with them 🤗❤️

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Fiancée!Paramedic!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, hospitals, stabbing, knife, blood, inaccurate medical talk, smut

Masterlist

A/N: Happy belated birthday to the anon that sent this in!

A/N 2: Yes even though this is fluff with angst there is smut so @imagine-all-the-fandoms and @talesofreading please prepare yourselves!

You had known Kelly Severide ever since you were both kids, considering you were next door neighbors. You didn't have the best childhood and needed a friend and you found that in Kelly. You two had grown up and had been there for each other through thick and thin. Through bad breakups with shitty boyfriends and girlfriends. You shut down all the rumors going around about Kelly even though you probably knew they were true especially with him being a womanizer, but you had to defend your friend and crush.

——————————————————————

Middle school hit and your friendship was stronger than ever and you two had stayed thick as thieves no matter how popular he had become. When his girlfriend, and also the captain of the soccer team, tried to get him to stop hanging around you because she didn't like you, he immediately broke up with her. One particular night they yelling and the fighting got so bad at your house that it became physical and your father had hit you and then threw a plate against the wall, breaking it and some of it cut you. Your mother tried to stop it but your father turned on her and she looked at you with a particular look and you ran, you ran to Kelly. When he saw you and the shape you were in, he grew furious but he took you up to your room and cleaned you up and held you that night.

——————————————————————

When high school came around your friendship and crush were still going strong. It became normal around the school to see each other with each other, so normal that his friends started becoming your friends and vice versa. Around sophomore year a particularly bad night occurred over at the Y/L/N Household. Your mother had just passed away due to some complications from the abuse your father had laid on her, the next day your father started to drink heavily starting in the morning and didn't end at all. You had just come home from school to find your father sitting at the kitchen table drinking. “About time you came home.” He said with a bite in his tone.

“I was at school.” You said slightly trembling. Your father looked up at you in rage.

“From now on you're not going to school. You're staying here.” He said not really in the right mental state.

“Dad, I can't do that. I need to go to school.” You said you wanted Kelly.

“Not anymore. Now make dinner.” He said harshly.

“No, Dad. I have homework to do and I promised Kelly I would meet up with him to help him.” You said and the anger flashed through your father’s face.

“You're always with him. Kelly this, Kelly that. I bet you've probably fucked him you slut.” He said and that brought tears to your eyes.

“No, I haven't.” You said “I'm not with him.” You added and your dad scoffed.

“Whatever. Now, get to cleaning this place is dirty and cooking. I'm hungry.” He spoke

“No, I need to do homework and then meet Kelly. I've told you this.” You said something must've snapped in him because he was suddenly picking up his glass and throwing it at you. It grazed you and hit the wall exploding in a million pieces and most of those cut you and you ducked for cover. Your dad stalked over to you and grabbed you by the hair and slammed you up against the wall he was yelling and threatening you. Tears were coming out fast.

“Stop you're crying.” He said and punched you in the face and you cradled your face and that just made him grow angrier. He slammed your head into the wall and then threw you down onto the ground. He kicked you twice in the ribs, breaking some, and several in the stomach. There were plates on a shelf next to you and he reached over and pulled that down over you, they broke all over you and cut you. You were sure you were bloody and not a very good sight to look at. You were close to passing out and you just wanted Kelly.

“Kelly.” You mumbled and your dad rolled his eyes.

“There you go saying his name. He can't save you now.” Your dad said and then brought his boot cover foot and it connected it with your head and that brought stars to your vision. Kelly, you wanted Kelly and now. Your dad finally stopped his attack on you and then stormed away, grabbed his keys and left considering you heard his truck start up. He left the door standing wide open.

Kelly had just gotten home from his baseball practice when he noticed your car in the driveway but not your dad's. He also noticed the door left wide open and that made his stomach drop. He quickly pulled into your driveway and got out and rushed in and the scene before his eyes made his blood boil. You were laid there in a pool of your own blood and semi-conscious. “Son of a bitch.” He said to himself he made it very clear that he didn't like your dad early on. “Hey, Angel. Wake up for me. Please.” Kelly said while stroking your cheek but nothing had worked. “You’re really scaring me.” He said. You heard a voice and it sounded like Kelly’s.

“Kel?” You asked, slurring your words and eyes cracking open. You saw him crouching down in front of you.

“Yea, it's me.” He said

“Dad-” You began but he shushed you.

“I know, Angel. I know.” He said smiling sadly and then pulled out his phone. “I’m gonna call 911. Just hang tight.” He said and you just stared at him everything sounded underwater. You could hear him talking but couldn’t pay attention. Your eyes started to close “Hey, hey, hey. Keep those eyes open for me.” He said but they were already shutting “Y/N-” he said and the last thing you heard before you let the darkness win.

The next thing you remember was waking up in the hospital with Kelly asleep by your side. You hurt all over and you vowed to yourself that you would become a paramedic to help people in need. You tried sitting up and groaned and that is what woke him up. “Woah. Hey. It’s ok, Angel.” He said and got up helped you lay back down.

“Dad?” You asked and he smiled sadly.

“He was found with his truck wrapped around a tree, he survived and when he gets healthy enough, he is going to prison.” He said and you nodded and then your eyes were closing. “Go to sleep, Angel. I’ll be right here.” He said and you let your eyes slip closed.

“I love you, Kel. More than a friend.” You said and he smiled.

“I love you too. More than a friend.” He repeated and you smiled and then fell asleep. When you woke up again, he brought up what you said and told him it was true and he smiled and told you that he felt the same way. From that day you two started to date.

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When you both graduated high school you decided to follow Kelly everywhere and owed him your life because he saved your life. You ended up going with him to the fire academy and excelling through it and had graduated as a paramedic and him as a firefighter. After graduation he had proposed to you and it was an immediate yes.

Considering that you both had gotten engaged you both followed each other through the different firehouses and both ended up at Firehouse 51. When you got the position for a paramedic on Ambulance 61, he got his position on Rescue Squad 3 and you both were so happy. It was exciting and both were so happy.

Kelly and you had talked about kids and decided not to wait until you both were married and when it happened then it happened. You loved the thought of getting married but were happy to be engaged with the love of your life. Getting with you and getting engaged changed Kelly for the good, he stopped being a womanizer and he devoted himself to you and only you.

——————————————————————

You both had been sleeping soundly in your own bed at your house after being off for 3 days and having a lot of fun in the bedroom trying but not really trying for a child. Your alarm had gone off at 6:30 AM and you jolted awake. When you turned over and saw the time you groaned and shut the alarm off. “Is it time already?” Kelly asked with a gravely and sleep ridden voice and you smiled and rolled over looking at him. You didn’t have to go in until 8:00 AM.

“Sadly yes.” You said and kissed him and he returned the kiss. “But hey, we'll be with each other for the next 2 days.” You said and he smiled.

“That we will, Angel.” Kelly said and kissed you rolling over to where he was pinning you underneath him. The kissing got more intense and you were planning on letting it go further but you needed to get to work before Boden had both of your heads.

“As much as I want to continue this. We really need to get to work.” You said and he bowed his head and sighed in defeat. He knew you right.

“You’re always right.” He said and you smiled and kissed him again but he continued his attack on you.

“Kel.” You warned but he just continued his attack on your neck and then he was inching his way down your body until he got to the hem of his shirt that you stole from him. “Baby.” You moaned out and he smirked and went lower to your underwear cover pussy. He pushed your legs open and began kissing the inside of your thighs as he slid your underwear down your legs and threw them somewhere. Then he dove straight in and your head was thrown back “Kelly!” You shouted but turned into a moan. Your hands went to his head he licked a broad stripe up your folds as his hands kept your thighs spread. He swirled his tongue around your entrance and then bit your clit gently and that had you letting out a pornographic moan. Your back arched pleasure and that rubber band feeling was creeping up a tall tale sign you were about to cum. “I’m gonna cum.” You warned and he quickened his pace and when he sucked on your clit and gently bit it again for the second time had you coming undone. “I'm cumming!” You moaned out and that rubber band snapped and you saw stars. You came all over his face and he was licking it up like it was his last meal. When you came down from your high, he was sitting up and lying next to you. You laid there for a few minutes catching your breath “That was amazing.” You said and he smiled and leaned over and kissed you, you could taste yourself on his tongue.

“Have to take care of my girl.” He said after he broke the kiss and you smiled.

“Now we have to get ready.” You said and got up. He laid there watching you. Once you had disappeared into the bathroom, he and when he heard the shower running, he got up and smirked. He stripped off his sweats and underwear leaving him nude. He walked into the bathroom and when you heard the shower door open you smiled.

“Just couldn’t stand it could you?” You asked and he smirked.

“How can? Especially knowing my sexy fiancée is in here all alone and may need some assistance.” He said and you laughed as he started to finish what you had started and then it was your turn to help him. As you were soaping him up and rinsing him off you got down to his very erect and noticeable hard on, you smirked.

“Want me to help you with that?” You asked and he smirked.

“I would never say no to you.” He said and you smiled and he helped you ease your way down once he knew what you were doing. All soap was gone and both of you were clean but you always did enjoy standing there under the hot water. Your hand traveled down to his cock and pumped it while you kissed the tip and kitten licked it and that had him moaning. “Oh, Angel. That feels so good.” He said and you smirked and took the tip into your mouth and swirled it with your tongue and then you started moving your head up and down. Kelly’s head was thrown back in pleasure. One hand went to your head and the other braced himself on the shower wall. “Angel.” He moaned out. You kept changing your speed and then you hollowed your cheeks and took him deeper until he hit the back of your throat. You breathed through your nose “I’m close, Y/N/N.” He said and you knew it was true especially when your other hand that wasn’t on his cock went to his balls you felt them tightening up. What did him in was when you squeezed his cock and his balls at the same time “I’m cumming, Angel.” He moaned out and then his thick load shot into the back of your throat and you swallowed it all. When he was done you slowly drug your mouth off his cock and released him with a pop. He helped you stand up and kissed you tasting himself. You smiled at him “Thank you, Angel.” He said and tucked a piece of wet hair behind your ear.

“Anytime babe.” You said and then you both were getting out and getting ready. Once everything was ready to go you looked at your phone 7:20 AM it read and your eyes bugged out of your head.

“What is it, Angel?” He asked when he noticed your expression.

“We’re gonna be late.” You said and he smirked.

“Then let me drive.” He said and you groaned but agreed. You both walked out to his Jeep and he booked it to the firehouse. 7:50 AM, you had cut it close but now you felt nauseous.

“Never letting you drive again.” You said as you grabbed your bag.

“Oh, come on. I got us here on time.” He said and you just shook your head and the both of you headed in. Both of you put your bags in the locker room and went to hear the reports and once that was over your 2-day shift started.

6 hours into your shift nothing really exciting happened, just a few small calls that didn’t require everyone to go out. You were grateful for the silent morning and not much happening because that meant you could spend time with Kelly and plan your wedding with your bridesmaids, Sylvie Brett and Grabriela Dawson and maid of honor, Stella Kidd. “So, have you picked a color yet?” Sylvie asked.

“I have 2 picked out navy blue and sage green.” You said and she nodded.

“Oh, navy blue would look so pretty.” Stella said and you smiled as you flipped through some magazines. You were mid flip when Kelly walked into the room you looked up when you saw him coming over and kissed you.

“How is my beautiful fiancée doing?” He asked and you smiled and you could hear the girls aweing at you both and you rolled your eyes at them.

“Oh hush. I’m doing well. A little bit achy from the rambunctious patient we had last call.” You said and he gave you a look “Kel, I’m fine nothing major happened and we handled it.” You said and he eased up.

“You know I want you to be safe on every call.” He said and you nodded and watched him walk over to the fridge and grab two bottles of water and something to snack on and brought it to you. You gladly accepted them.

“You two are so adorable.” Gabby said and you chuckled and made room for Kelly to sit down and then you leaned into him and started flipping through the magazine again as he fed you some of his snack. “So, you have a cake picked out?” She asked and you nodded.

“We do. It’s a chocolate strawberry cake.” Kelly said “It’s her favorite and I want her to be happy on her special day.” He said and kissed your temple. You smiled and played with your engagement ring.

“Hey it’s your day too.” You argued and looked at him.

“Yes, but to me it’s going to be all about you and celebrating you being with me.” He said and again the girls awed at the both of you and again you rolled your eyes but smiled. The wedding talk continues and Kelly put his input in. When the urge to go to the bathroom was needed you got up and he whined. “Where are you going?” He asked pouting and you turned to him.

“I have to go to the bathroom, Babe. Unless you want to join.” You said as a joke and he started to get up but you stopped him “I was joking. I’ll be back soon.” You said and he pouted again.

“Fine. I’ll miss you.” He said and you laughed.

“I’ll be right back.” You said and the girls all laughed. You went to the bathroom and as you were washing your hands the bells rang signaling for Rescue Squad 3, Truck 81, Ambulance 61, and Engine 51. It must be serious if they were sending everyone out. You quickly rushed the ambulance and he stopped you before you got in and he kissed you hard and you returned the kiss. “I love you.” You said as you hopped into the vehicle.

“I love you too.” He said and then you both got in your vehicles and then you were off to the call. The call was made by a bystander that had witnessed a gang fight had taken place and there were some casualties but also some that needed medical attention as well as a fire that had broken out due to a bullet hitting a gas tank of a car. Intelligence was also called since it was their case they were working on. You were quick to jump out when the ambulance had stopped. Boden gave orders and everyone got to work. You, Sylvie, and Gabby along with Herrmann, Otis, Kelly, Brian and Peter moved people that needed serious attention to one place and the ones that didn't move to another then the deceased to another with sheets laying over them. Intelligence and other police officers were booking left and right. You had just finished with one patient when Jay grabbed your attention.

“Hey, Y/N! I need you over here!” He said and you rushed over with your bag. When you got there a man in his mid-20s was lying unconscious on the ground but breathing. You knelt down next to him and Jay. Jay was waiting to do anything to help.

“Sir, can you hear me?” You asked while taking a listen to him and everything sounded normal. You still hadn't gotten a response so you made your hand into a fist and rubbed his sternum. That definitely got a reaction out of him because before Jay could stop him, he had grabbed a knife that was in his back pocket and drove it first into your stomach. At first you didn't feel it and Jay was just shocked. You Felt it when the knife pulled out and found its way into your ribs. Jay took action and was quick to apprehend the person and cuff him. He called for someone to get the person off the ground and once they were gone Jay turned his direction to you.

“Hey it's ok. You're going to be ok.” Jay said as he started putting pressure on your wounds.

“Kelly. Want Kelly.” You mumbled out and Jay nodded and looked up looking for your fiancé and when he found him, he shouted his name.

“Kelly!” Jay shouted and that caused Kelly to look up and his face drained of color when he saw you on the ground with blood and Jay trying to help. He was rushing over to get to you.

“What the hell happened?” Kelly asked when he arrived and took over for Jay but Jay stayed close wanting to help his friends.

“I found a guy on the ground unconscious and called her over since she was available. She was checking on him and trying to wake him up and he woke up startled and took out a knife we both didn't see and stabbed her before I could do anything. He was quick and got a second stab in.” Jay said and Kelly nodded, not mad at anyone this could happen to anyone. He knew moving someone without knowing their injuries could end up making it worse for them.

“Kel?” You asked and he looked down and saw you staring at him with wild unfocused eyes. You looked so scared.

“I'm here, Angel. I'm here.” He said and pressed harder on your wounds. Blood was starting to seep out between his fingers. “Jay, go and get Sylvie and Gabby. Tell them it's Y/N. Tell them to bring the gurney and hurry.” He said and Jay nodded and went to find them.

“I'm sorry.” You said and Kelly looked at you confused.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked

“I didn't see the knife.” You said and he shook his head.

“Nobody could've seen it. You and Jay did the right thing in not moving him.” He said and you nodded and then you started coughing which brought blood and it was getting harder to breathe. “Hey hey, don't you give up on me yet.” He said and grabbed your gloved hand and he could feel your ring through it. He decided he needed to be skin to skin with you so he ripped the gloves off and your diamond ring was out on display for everyone to see. “We have so many plans, Angel. Don't leave me.” He added you so desperately tried to keep your eyes open and you were winning the fight but barely.

“Oh my god.” Sylvie gasped and both her and Gabby got to work. The commotion caught the attention of a few others and they were quick to come over. “Hey, Y/N/N. Can you hear me?” Sylvie asked and you nodded your head and looked over at her.

“Kel?” You asked, losing a lot of blood.

“I'm right here, Y/N. I'm right here.” He said and your head lolled over to look at him. Then your eyes closed and your breathing stopped. “Y/N! No no no no.” Kelly said and removed his hands and started chest compression and that kicked everyone into gear. Gabby put a pulse ox on you and connected leads to you and it showed a flatline and tears came to Kelly's, well everyone's, eyes. “Come on. Come on.” He said and continued CPR. About 2 minutes later your heart started beating again and he sighed in relief. Gabby started an IV and Kelly’s hands went to the puncture wounds again.

Everyone started talking and then you felt yourself being lifted up and onto the gurney by several people. You were moving and it felt like you were floating. Nothing was in focus and every sound was underwater. You were loaded into the back of the ambulance and then you were speeding away. Kelly never once left your side and nobody argued with him.

Getting to Med felt like forever but it was only a short 3 minutes but in those 3 minutes Kelly's world stopped again. Your heart was beating strong and then all of a sudden it just stopped. Gabby was quick to start CPR again. “If we don't get her back soon, her chances to survive are low.” She said and just as soon as the ambulance pulled up to Med your heart started again. When the doors opened there was Connor and a few nurses standing there and as soon as the gurney was off the ambulance you were being wheeled away. Talking was heard but you couldn't focus on it. Your eyes were closed.

“Kelly, you know you can't go back with us.” Connor said

“I know. Just take care of her. Angel, I'll be here when you're done. Keep fighting.” Kelly said, bending down and kissing your forehead and then your ring. “I love you.” Kelly added as tears ran down his face and you were wheeled behind the door. Kelly just stood there not knowing what to do until Otis came behind him and grabbed his shoulders and led him to the waiting room. Before they wheeled you behind the doors, they had taken your engagement ring off and gave it to him. He looked up and saw most of everyone there but nobody said a word. He looked down at your engagement ring and just started to let tears escape. He needed you.

——————————————————————

“Alright I want a quick x-ray and an ultrasound then I want her prepped and quickly.” Conner said and everybody let him know that they understood and then they were on it. An x-ray was taken and the tech froze.

“Uh, Conner. I might want to come and take a look at this.” He said and Connor rushed over.

“She’s pregnant.” He confirmed “Someone call Dr. Manning. Tell her it is an emergency.” He said

“On it!” A nurse said and was quick to get her on the phone. In no time Natalie was rushing into the OR, she was getting the ultrasound up and running and was quick to get it on you.

“It looks like she is 9 weeks pregnant and it looks like the knife didn’t even touch the placenta but it looks like it caught her kidney.” She said “I’ll stay and monitor the baby.” She said and Connor nodded and started giving directions out. The surgery was stressful but it was coming along great. “The baby's heart rate and breathing are great.” Natalie said just about the time your heart rate was beginning to drop.

“Heart is dropping and her breathing is labored.” The surgical nurse said and that concerned both of the doctors. Then your heart monitor flatlined.

“Starting CPR!” Connor said and he started the chest compressions. “Come on, Y/N/N. You got a fiancé that is worried sick about you and a baby to grow and raise” he said and you must be listening because after about 3 minutes of CPR your heart started to beat again. “Ok, she’s back! Let’s hurry this and get her into recovery.” He said calmly and they finished quickly. They had to fix your lung and remove one of your kidneys but you were going to survive.

——————————————————————

4 hours is how long everyone had to wait. Your team members, who were your family, weren’t going to go anywhere especially not when one of their own was fighting for her life. Kelly was a nervous wreck and he hadn’t even said a word since he arrived, nobody was going to push him to talk. Boden had declared him off since it was his fiancée in there and that considered him family. Nobody had come out and whenever someone had come out it wasn’t Connor and his heart sank a little more each time. The plans that you two had made and planned on making were running through his head. He thought about starting a family with you and the wedding you two were going to have. As he was thinking about it all, he remembered your diamond ring in his hand, it shouldn’t be in his hand, it should be on your finger. He took one last look at it and then took his chain off around his neck and unclasped it and slid on it, he then put the chain back around his neck.

Finally, Connor came out and he stood there for a minute until he saw Kelly and the crew. He walked over to them and when Kelly heard footsteps he looked up and quickly stood up. “Connor?” Kelly asked Connor, looked at him and smiled.

“They’re both going to be just fine.” He said and Kelly looked at him shocked.

“Both?” Kelly questioned

“Yes, Y/N is 9 weeks pregnant. I take it neither of you knew.” He said, reading the expression on Kelly’s face.

“No. We’ve been trying but not really trying.” He said and Connor smiled. “How is Y/N?” He asked

“We lost her once but got her back quickly. The knife got her kidney so we had to remove that and we fixed her lung. I’m suggesting a few weeks to a month off from work but she can do very light duty.” Connor said and everyone nodded, mostly Boden. “I can take you to her now.” He said.

“Please.” Kelly said and Connor smiled and nodded. He led Kelly the way and while he was walking past his crew, they gave him a chorus of ‘Congratulations’. They weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Kelly and Connor arrived at your room and he walked in and sat down on the chair. “If something happens, please grab one of the nurses and they’ll either page me or Natalie or both of us will be here.” He said and Kelly nodded “Oh and Kelly?” He added and Kelly looked up at him. “Congratulations.” He said and Kelly smiled and Connor was off. He was left there sitting with you and letting tears fall.

“You scared me, Angel. When I saw you lying there with Jay putting pressure on your wounds, my world stopped. Then when you stopped breathing and your heart stopped twice on the way here, it scared the shit out of me. We’re going to be parents, Angel. I don’t know if you can hear me but you, I’m so glad you chose to stay with me. I would be so lost without you. I love you so much.” He said and kissed your forehead.

Nurses were in and out checking on you and the baby and the crew came and saw you but couldn’t stay long and Kelly understood and he knew you would understand too. Kelly wasn’t going to leave your side for nothing and nobody was going to make him and Boden understood. He wanted to put your ring back on but refrained against it because he didn’t want them taking it off again.

2 days had passed and you still hadn’t woken up but that was to be understood it helped your body heal. They kept IVs running to keep you and the baby hydrated and it had some nutrients in it to keep you both nourished from the lack of food being eaten. It was during the night when you woke up and you looked around the room taking in the noise and where you were at. Then you looked over to your right and saw Kelly sleeping. You reached a hand over and stroked his cheek which woke him up and then when he saw you were awake, he was up with a start. About that time Connor and Natalie had come and smiled. “Nice to see you awake.” Connor said and you smiled and then grimaced in pain when you tried to move.

“Take it easy. You just had some major surgery. We also don’t want to stress the baby out.” Natalie said and you pulled a confused face.

“Baby?” You asked voice scratchy and Kelly was quick to grab the cup of water and bring the straw to your lips and you drank some and pushed it away.

“Yes, we did an x-ray to see where the knife had hit and when the baby popped up, I was called in and I did an ultrasound to confirm that you are 9 weeks pregnant. I take it you didn’t know.” Natalie said and you shook your head but smiled “Congratulations.” She said with a small smile and you smiled back.

“Thank you. We were trying for a kid but haven’t been trying very hard.” You said and she smiled.

“The knife punctured your kidney and your lung. We removed your kidney and repaired your lung. I want you to take it very easy for a few weeks and if you go back to work then it’s going to have to be very light duty.” Connor said and you nodded. He and Natalie went over a few things with you and then left. They wanted you to stay in the hospital for at least a week to make sure everything was ok and no complications and you agreed along with Kelly.

“We’re going to be parents.” You said and he smiled and nodded then you looked down at your bare hand “Where is my ring?” You asked almost panicked and he smiled and pulled it out on his chain.

“Right here baby.” He said and pulled it off and took it off and put it back on your hand where it belonged. You let out a yawn and he chuckled. “Go back to sleep baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He said and leaned up and kissed your forehead again.

As you fell back asleep you smiled and thought about your baby. The two of you were going to be parents and you couldn’t wait. All you could think about is how good of a father Kelly was going to make and you couldn’t wait. You couldn’t wait to marry him and raise his kid with him. The three of you were going to be one happy family and that was something worth staying for.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

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@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

@docockschest

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allisondraste · 8 months

Text

I’ve seen various different posts on the website formerly known as Twitter and this one right here, discussing Gale’s behavior in romance as obsessive, possessive, and possibly codependent. And while I support everyone having their own interpretations and opinions, I do disagree, so I want to talk about it!

First— it’s so important to acknowledge that Gale is strictly monogamous. He is not someone who is comfortable with a partner having other partners. This is fine, and not inherently indicative of any unhealthy attachment styles. Wyll, Karlach, and Lae’Zel are also monogamous in a relationship.

Gale does struggle with some insecurity that at times bleeds it’s way into his romantic relationship, but isn’t a product of the relationship itself. His biggest insecurity is feeling like he isn’t enough (in general, not just for a romantic partner). Mystra had a way of making him feel like nothing he did was ever enough, he always needed to do more, to be more, and when he tried, when he made mistakes, she abandoned him.

Those are wounds that do not heal quickly, and so he needs quite a bit of reassurance from both friend and lover PCs that he’s fine just the way he is and that he doesn’t have to try so hard or pretend to be fine when he’s not.

He’s lonely. Due to his condition, Gale, who is an incredibly social person, had to hermit himself away from his friends and colleagues for over a year. Mystra was no longer interacting with him, and he was afraid to be around his mother because he didn’t want her to worry. His only company was Tara, and as much as he loves her, shes not a replacement for human or humanoid connection. Usually with folks who struggle with codependency and insecure attachment, there are long patterns of each of those things in all of their other relationships, but Gale seems to have had pretty healthy relationships, the Mystra situation being the exception, not the rule.

It excites him when he gets to travel with a group, have friends. It’s even more exciting to him when he finds someone who makes him forget the hurt Mystra has caused. Yet he still has to withdraw from even that because he does not want to put their life in danger. It is not until act 2 after Elminster has cast the incantation to calm the orb that Gale feels comfortable enough to give in to his feelings. And yeah! He comes in strong because he’s been holding it in. He’s been pining away, sad that he can’t let himself so much as kiss Tav or else he quite literally explode.

When you talk to Gale after his romance scene in act 2, you’re able to confront him about his feelings for Mystra, and he is very direct, stating that he does still have complicated feelings for her. Which makes SENSE. The game and Gale himself try to minimize Mystra as just his ex, but she is more than that. She is his groomer and abuser. Gale is traumatized, and it will likely take him the rest of his life to get over that. It’s not something that more time alone is going to heal. He needs a support system to help him. He needs his mom, his friends, and maybe even his new partner.

You can also ask him if he meant it when he said he loved you, and his answer is “I am many things to many people, but I am never one to throw the l-word around lightly.” He didn’t just say it on a whim. He thought about it, probably extensively. Judging from the dialogue we get, he’s aware that he is rushing to say it, and admits that it’s because he’s scared that he’s going to literally die tomorrow. It’s not a love bomb. It’s an “I need you to know this, just in case something happens to me.”

Once he doesn’t die in act 2, he simmers down. He becomes more concerned with curing his condition, he faces Mystra, he accepts that he doesn’t need to have godly power to be worthy of love and respect.

At the end of the game, he asks you if you’ll come back to Waterdeep with him, which is his way of proposing more or less, but its more that he wants to be home and he wants the person who has become so important to him to come with him, to meet his mom, to see his hometown. He wants them to want that too.

He’s a grown man, mid to late 30s, not a naive young person. He knows what he wants. He’s thought about it, extensively.

In my opinion, there’s nothing possessive, obsessive, codependent, or unhealthy about any of that.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #meta post

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relatableblorbopoll · 6 months

Text

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 11

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

Propaganda under the cut

Mae Borowski (Night in the Woods)

"Spoilers! She's a college dropout in her early twenties, who suffers from untreated mental illness and dissociation and had a complete breakdown at college, causing her to come home. Now she's living with her parents again, but life in her dingy little hometown went on without her. Her friends are adults now - in a relationship and planning on moving to the big city, or having to waste away in a dead end job instead of following their dreams. Mae is the only one without a new adult role in life. She's not great with people either - she's blunt and often doesn't think things through, and in many ways just doesn't get the world of adults. She's also prone to petty crimes and general anarchy. She's kind of lost and purposeless, and trying to find meaning in life by desperately clinging to the past. Her decision to drop out of college probably saved her life, but it's also put her family in a tough financial situation and is viewed by most people as her just thoughtlessly doing whatever she wants. She's also kind of shamed a lot about not having a job or other productive role in life, despite the fact that her untreated mental issues are actually disabling for her. She also plays the bass real bad. Anyway, i love Mae a lot. Playing this game as a college dropout in my early twenties, sitting in my childhood bedroom in my mom's attic, back in my dingy little hometown, desperately missing my old friends who have all moved on to better, resposible things in life... yeah, it felt like the game was pointing dead at me. Given tumblr's general demographic, i figure i must not be completely alone in this"

Shigeo Kageyama / Mob (Mob Psycho 100)

"autistic. likes milk. if we reach a certain level of emotion we turn into a psychic bomb. cool brothers :)"

Barry the Quokka (The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog)

"Their only skill is working the microwave, they're non-binary, when seeing a trash bin their first instinct is to look through it, they're always the most normal person in the room, they can beatbox, and they were only hired due to being the only one who applied."

Kaveh (Genshin Impact)

"In a fantasy world, be a guy with a regular profession losing his goddamn mind. Poor guy has a guilt complex, (so true) and a lot of deep embarrassment regarding his life.(ehe) He just wants to do what he's passionate about but capitalism is evil and also he keeps getting scammed. Claims to not want anyone to know Things, goes into depth about these Things anyway. Is probably most definitely gay. Can be found face down on a table lamenting his fate. Terrible sleep schedule. (HA) He is such a guy. Wants to believe the world is a good place and people are inherently good. And wants to help people and do good himself. It's just hard. [And he has a roommate. Oh my god he has a roommate]"

"He was, and still is, regarded a genius. He aced his Akademiya days, he has the admiration and appreciation of so many people because he is oh-so remarkable. But what for, when reality is that he sits at home depressed and with guilt consuming him, faking the image people have of him, not only broke as fuck but actually in debt, drowning his sorrows in wine."

Yusuke Kitagawa (Persona 5)

"highschooler who wants to spend the rest of his life doing what he loves. is obsessed with art and beauty and it's on his mind 24/7 received help from his now friendgroup to break from his abusive foster father who he still have complicated feelings with had to move into school dorms and am struggling to live independantly since he'd rather spend money and time on his art but he's still surviving and enjoying the good times id say also ends up saying whatever is on his mind and is pretty eccentric. very passionate about what he loves. doesn't want to do anything else."

Nanami Kento (Jujutsu Kaisen)

"Ex-salaryman, now jujutsu sorcerer. During one life-and-death fight, kept talking about how it was almost six pm with is when he is getting off work at 6pm no matter what because he hates overtime. While his opponent repeatedly almost kills him. Normalest adult in this shonen anime. Teen MC: "Let's go all out!" Nanami: "No. Where moderate effort will suffice, use moderate effort." Some of his quotes from the anime: "I studied at Jujutsu Tech and one thing I learned is that Jujutsu Sorcerers are shit! Then I worked at your typical company and one thing I learned is that work is shit! If both are equally shit I'll take the one I'm more suited to." "You've faced several life-or-death situations, but that does not make you an adult. Finding more fallen-out hairs on your pillow, watching your favourite stuffed bread disappear from the convenience store... The accunulation of these little despairs is what makes a person an adult." "I don't praise or disparage anyone. I adhere to facts and judge on that basis. That's who I am. There was a time when I mistakenly believed society operated the same way." "

#preliminaries #tumblr polls #tumblr tournament #character bracket #character tournament #mae borowski #night in the woods #shigeo kageyama #mob psycho 100 #barry the quokka #the murder of sonic the hedgehog #kaveh #genshin impact #yusuke kitagawa #persona 5 #nanami kento #jujutsu kaisen

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sprout-fics · 10 months

Note

I feel like Ghost would be an alpha who isn’t super in your face if you’re an omega. He is more of a silent presence, lingering there, ready when needed. The first to bring things for a nest, the first to detect when something is off with his omega. Just nowhere near as domineering as he’s sometimes represented in Omegaverse. Dominant in scenarios, yes, but not domineering.

So I'm actually going back to my forced designation switch alpha Ghost for this, (despite saying I wouldn't revisit it) because the more I think about this the more I really want to incorporate it into this story.

TW: Similarities to conversion therapy, details of canonical sexual assault

I think, if we're considering Ghost as an omega prior to his forced transition, he absolutely remembers what it was like to deal with that. He likely hid it from his family, given his father's abuse, so as to not cause more harm to himself. So he understands Reader when she admits she purposefully concealed herself for quite some time due to biases in the military. An omega, and a woman? To say the chances are stacked against her is an understatement.

I also think this allows him a unique perspective. He knows what it's like to hide heats, to always be on edge around alphas, to watch your back all the time and to be ashamed of who you were born as. He picks up the subtleties in you, is the first to whiff out a pre-heat, to notice the alarmed spike in your scent. It makes him all the more protective over you, knowing the evil that's out there that threatens you because of your designation. Yet he doesn't become overbearing, because he also understands that the presence of a heavy-handed alpha might make you nervous, on edge given your prior experiences with alphas. He knows that too, have lived a life before this similar to your own. It makes him a better alpha, not only because he's receptive, sympathetic to his omega mates, but because he's lived it.

I think Ghost has a very complicated relationship with his status as an alpha, and with sex in general. He's comfortable where he is now with the team, but only because they are fully aware of what has happened to him, and as a result know how to handle him when it becomes too much, when he remembers Roba, the torture, the fact that he used to be different.

Becoming an Alpha was in some ways a relief for Ghost. He didn't have to struggle anymore with concealing himself, with potentially losing his service if he was revealed. Some would say he's better for it, can now be the perfect example of a lethal soldier because of his alpha status

But it was at a wicked cost.

It came at the cost of his autonomy, his dignity, it came with pain and trauma and horrifying flashbacks that continue to haunt him. It fundamentally changed him, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Even after Simon escaped and put an end to Roba it wasn't over. His body changed, reformed itself. He grew taller, stronger, bulkier, more muscular. He had to get used to not being at home in his body, to instincts that were unfamiliar and overwhelming. He was suddenly dealt with as an entirely different person while he was dealing with the aftermath of his trauma, the grief of losing his entire family, the erasure of his identity in order to survive.

I think that's where the team comes in as well. Price was there for Simon in the immediate aftermath of his transition, helped him through the newness of being an alpha. When Simon's first rut came, he was borderline uncontrollable- brain chemical haywire, rebelling against themselves in a vain effort to revert back to their original omega state, competing with the the alpha instincts to rut, chase, breed. In my personal interpretation, with was Price who acted as a partner for Simon during this time, as Simon could not be trusted with an omega partner. He was fully aware of Simon's trauma, like had dealt with traumatized soldiers before, had the experience of being an alpha, and had...other experience to bring to the table as well. He coaxed Simon through his rut and as a result the two formed a deep trust with each other that extended far beyond the realm of camaraderie and friendship, and eventually led to more romantic implications

Then comes Soap, this rebellious spitfire omega who has concealed his designation and by all appearances is an alpha just like Price and Simon. We knows how this story goes. Ghost slowly falls for Johnny, doesn't act on it, yearns and pines in angst over how he could possibly dream of Johnny accepting him, and how he could possibly be a good alpha to him. Johnny wriggles his way into Simon's heart anyways, knocks on his soul and carves inside inch by inch, and Ghost slowly lets him, until at last Simon finds out he can be a good alpha, and that all it took was one feisty omega sergeant to tell him that

Ghost, at least in this story, still struggles with these things. They never quite leave him. He's extremely hesitant to spend his ruts with anyone other than Soap, and takes a significant amount of time to allow himself to be intimate with Price and Gaz. For you, he refuses your assistance for his ruts for the first few cycles, too nervous about hurting you despite how much he wants you. Soap has to coax him into it, has to teach him he's okay, that he is not his abusers, and stays with you both the first few times you are intimate with each other as Simon slowly works through this particular aspect of his trauma. It takes time, but Ghost finds he can be a good alpha to you too, that his forced switch and the consequences of it do not define him.

Holy SHIT that was a long answer. I just wrote an essay. Apologies, I've been thinking a lot about this concept, and despite the heart breaking details of it, I think it adds a deeply fascinating aspect to Ghost's character in this AU that fits within the realm of his existing canonical trauma. Thank you so so much for letting me ramble.

#alpha ghost #omega ghost #cod omegaverse

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mazzystar24 · 18 days

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Being a psychology nerd and engaging in fandom actually makes my eye twitch sometimes because terms are constantly being used wrong to diss people or characters and also people will act like they know every experience a mentally ill person can have just based off a small sample of what they’ve seen and they’ll use that to disregard storylines or people’s opinions or spec

So some things guys that may be an unintentional call out or reassurance for your spec:

Hallucinations CAN be auditory and visual simultaneously (multi modal it can even be tactile, somatic olfactory or gustatory) and there is actually a very high prevalence of this in a lot of disorders and are actually thought to occur more frequently than unimodal hallucinations, and yes it can be in the form of full blown conversations with people that aren’t there and they can be extremely elaborate and complex especially if paired with delusions- so yes the possibility that Kim is a hallucination and we are just seeing it from Eddie’s pov is valid spec so stop being dismissive to people

Also for my brain tumour truthers- a brain tumour is a little complicated when it comes to hallucinations cos it really depends where the tumour is and what regions are effected because for example an occipital lobe tumour is more likely to just cause visual hallucinations- but multimodal hallucinations due to a brain tumour is also possible, a brain tumour also comes with other symptoms too but a lot can be consistent with the spec like for example impulsivity or disinhibition, delusions, aggression (if the buddie divorce is true that works), anxiety, depression, etc.

Trauma bonding is something that occurs in ABUSIVE situations where you start to feel sympathy and love for your abuser it’s not when people bond over trauma - so no what buck and Eddie or buck and Chris have is very much not a trauma bond

Gaslighting isn’t just lying to someone it’s intentionally manipulating them to the extent that they doubt their own sanity (the term coming from a play turned movie where a husband drives his wife crazy by like screwing with the gas lights in their house when she’s alone to make her doubt her memory and her perception of reality) - so no Eddie is not GASLIGHTING buck when he lies to him 😭😭

Codependency is also just not what Eddie and buck have, they don’t base their entire lives on each other and they don’t like have an unhealthy dynamic or have an imbalanced relationship, now yes they both had times when they needed the other to be there for them or help them through stuff or aid their self worth but overall they more so just want to be around each other not that they NEED to and they work on themselves separately like going to therapy by themselves while also supporting eachother by helping out while they do that

#is this post probably for a very niche audience of psychology students who are 911 fans? probably #911 abc #eddie diaz #911 fox #evan buck buckley #911onfox #buckley diaz family #911 speculation #911 spec #evan buckley #911 #buddie

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yuri-for-businesswomen · 5 months

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What do you think about gay porn? Without women involved and the balance of power restored do you still want it banned? Just curious.

from what ive gathered about gay porn the suicide rate among gay men in porn is quite high, and some men are not even gay but only „gay for pay“. that must take a mental toll. and in gay porn its still often that one man (or several) is dominating the other. „bottoms“ get huge health issues from that. and i think young and impoverished men for example in eastern europe are groomed into it. i would assume that the racist motifs and gross and dehumanising kinks can also be found in gay porn. and weirdly, homophobia. like men in gay porn being called f-got, for example. as one does i stumbled upon some gay porn here and there on tumblr and it looks just as degrading. there might be less of a power imbalance between men because there is no misogyny but there can still be a power imbalance due to experience, age, race, class, etc. and obviously gay porn has the same issues as any porn, did the people in it consent to filming and upload, do they still consent? men are being abused and beaten and get stds and health complications from penetration, some are even drugged, especially if they bottom this can happen.

to make it short: yes im against any prostitution or porn, no matter if the prostituted people are male or female. nobody deserves that, and its damaging to people off all sexualities.

#ask

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