#just in general I think the characters benefited from the focus on character expressions/acting

[lavenderjewels]

really appreciating kenjaku this season. physics defying hair, a thirst for all experimental sorcery and science, constantly looking like a cat that’s about to smugly knock over a glass

#in one of my first posts here I talk about it but #s1 ‘geto’ was my least favorite when I started the show. then I read the manga and loved both geto and kenjaku #but I remember thinking they were very boring 😭 except for the scene where they stuck out their tongue #but I love the expressions and voice acting this season #just in general I think the characters benefited from the focus on character expressions/acting #but geto and kenjaku REALLY did #same with choso #I was on the fence about this style when the first trailers dropped but I’m completely w it now #I also just like style even over consistency. still love the s1 colors + ‘gross’ palettes + fighting #but yea this is great and it kind of needed all this for what’s to come #and it’s wild that every week an ep drops there’s ALWAYS hordes of people complaining about ghosting or angles or ehatever

[kafkaoftherubble]

最近还没有新的project，所以跟放假无异。真惬意！

Although we didn't manage to do our Morning Routine, and I ended up moving the planned Resume Dollmaking plan to some other day (Wednesday? Thursday?), the rest of today was pretty great!

Seeing Dune (in fact—only one-third of it so far) on Netflix and streaming it on Discord turned out to be a success!

Seeing the movie with an unexpected TimothEÊĒÉ Chalamet Doubter—who seems to shiver every time the dude reappears on-screen—is hilarious. "I've been seeing this movie for a while now and I haven't seen him change his expression—oh wait, finally." It's the fact that this is from someone who dabbles in acting themself that makes it such a burn!

Honestly, we should pit Lyi the TimothÈËÊÉ Apologist with them together. This world has too much love and peace, there is not enough c h a o s!

Will resume the rest of Dune later tonight. And that will be after I game with Ritsu, who insisted that today we should play our old Resident Evil 6 instead. Her reasoning? "The way we suck has gone stale. We should be bolder and fail in new avenues! Be a generalist even in the art of being fucking failures!"

Please. Past Lyn had played RE6 with this lil' ass before. Remember the "大姐 I give you my controller! Control my character and control Chris just for this segment! ... WOW YOU SO AMAZING, YOU CONTROL CHRIS WITH YOUR FOOT!" session and the "大姐 WOOHOO BLAST THAT HELICOPTER WITH BAZOOKA! I'll be hiding in this room behind you and give you moral support! If you're near death I will come out and inject you with medicine! I NOW ISSA DOCTOR! ...WHAT? THESE GUNS ARE FOR COSPLAY!"

Oh god. We are not even gonna get past the first part of Level 1, are we?

---------------

The best thing about today is that I finally get to study.

That reminds me! I have never documented Miki the pencil case in this garden before. I think she was created by 2018 Lyndises. Ah, maybe next time.

----

Whenever I have time, however short that period might be, the book I always have the most interest in is Buddhist Ethics. Which... is really different from the choice of, say, Lyndises of a Few Years Ago. Fionn has such a hold on me, damn it.

Not that I'm complaining; I just like seeing him happy. I like seeing him think. I like hearing him explain shits. I just like hanging out with him.

The last time, the last Lyn stopped at the chapter discussing Buddhaghosa's Visuddhimagga ("The Path of Purification"). I did a bit of revision on it because I kinda forgot what's it about, and I can't continue if I forgot.

Visuddhimagga is a Theravadin ethical treatise. That means the self-liberation of the student (ya know, the one who's taking up the path) is the central goal. I have seen some Mahayana scholars and philosophers disparage Theravada school for being self-centered because their focus is self-liberation instead of "the liberation of all sentient beings." But man! Sectarian disputes, mate. Quite an unfair accusation, too, methinks.

Look at the central value Buddhaghosa emphasizes:

Generosity.

And he didn't mean generosity in finances or material goods. It's not about "a set of actions." Buddhaghosa's concept of generosity is an orientation. A preference in seeing the world; it's a whole-ass path. More specifically, it means being generous with one's time, patience, knowledge, effort, care, possessions—everything you own is liable to be given to anyone else who needs it more. That kind of generosity.

I really can't see how that makes the Theravada school selfish. Is the accusation aimed more at the intent of a Theravadin Buddhist instead of their ethical stance? "You're only doing all of these good things for your eventual liberation instead of to liberate everyone together!" That sorta thing?

Hmm. On paper, that intent does seem self-centered. But if putting Theravadin ethics into practice benefits people around that student in effect—is the accusation of selfishness really as meaningful as it sounds?

Look over here:

The ultimate goal of practicing generosity is the attainment of nonegocentricity, a.k.a the ethical side of anattā, "non-self."

Oh, but there is an additional side to practicing generosity, too. A phenomenological one.

Basically, one adopts the preference of generosity because the world is so interdependent (pratītyasamutpāda, "dependent co-arising") that any distinction between one's self and others is illusionary and arbitrary. That is a phenomenological realization—it's knowledge regarding how the world is perceived. When you give to someone, you didn't lose shit. That someone gained what you gave, and that translates to a mutual gain for both of you.

"When the mouth eats from the hand, the entire body benefits—the hand did not lose anything at all. It never had. But if the hand doesn't realize this, then it convinces itself it's now at a disadvantage and suffers from an invisible, nonexisting loss."

Hee hee! It's so nice to have someone like Fionn to provide commentaries.

---

Today's real new chapter is on the Mahayana treatise, specifically from the Mādhyamaka school: Śāntideva's Bodhicaryavatara ("How to Lead an Awakened Life").

The book noted the different metaphors Buddhaghosa and Śāntideva used, gleaned easily even from the title of their treatises. Buddhaghosa emphasized "purification," that is to say, removing negative qualities to purify one's conduct. Santideva's is a path of accumulation, which is where you collect noble qualities like Pokemon. These virtues are, you guessed it, the pāramitā, "perfections."

Pāramitā is such a Mahayana concept. As soon as you see these being mentioned, it's gotta be a Mahayana school. It harkens a bit to virtue ethics, methinks, as espoused by Ancient Greek philosophers.

Honestly, we haven't really gotten far into this subchapter. Garfield is an expert on Santideva's treatise, so he has a lot to say about it. In comparison, Visuddhimagga was more of Maria Helm's expertise, if I recall correctly.

For now, my favorite part of this subchapter is about the difference between the so-called "aspiring" and "engaged" modes of practice.

Aspirants are people who learn from philosophical classes, reading, reflections, and discourses—good old discursive knowledge you get by "hearing from others." It's good intentions—but no actions yet. That's not all; to hear about ethics from secondhand sources like that is to gain knowledge through concepts and abstract thoughts communicated by other people. That means a certain level of reality distortion not unlike learning about philosophy through stories and fiction and nonfiction articles.

To Santideva, one has to really put what they have heard into experiments and practice because then that knowledge becomes direct and experiential. "Knowledge gained from perception itself."

To practice the path of the Bodhisattva, empiricism is of utmost importance. "Knowing" isn't enough. "Seeing" is more important.

I agree with that, even if cognitive science would argue against framing perceptions as direct and less distorted than "discourses." Again, human brains are not that reliable.

We're mostly in agreement here, however; the reason why I favor ethics and phenomenology in philosophy over shits like metaphysics is because these are domains that can be put into practice. These are intellectual naval-gazing that influence actions, and therefore effects!

... Heh. "Empiricism" reminds me of someone.

---------

I wanna start reading The Lies That Bind starting this week.

I'm gonna bring it to that stupid wedding anyway. Might as well start reading now.

I already like the quote Kwame selected.

#a piece to the rubble

[frisktastic]

I posted 6,896 times in 2022

12 posts created (0%)

6,884 posts reblogged (100%)

I tagged 2,836 of my posts in 2022

#toh - 215 posts

#art - 208 posts

#dr - 182 posts

#aes - 143 posts

#tlt - 93 posts

#pkmn - 84 posts

#inscryption - 84 posts

#horizon - 82 posts

#ofmd - 80 posts

#orv - 78 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

My effort at organizing and analyzing all of the Sweepstakes links and Q&A. I was finding other guides to be less thorough or less clear than I wanted.

12 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#4

I am still listening to TAZ Ethersea and mostly enjoying it, but it might be the arc I like the least, even if I think the plot is stronger than in Graduation.

The big thing is the characters. They act so jaded, quick to anger, and use various kinds of force to get what they want. Because of that, no other characters really like them! Except for people established in their backstories!!! 

As a group they never really connected and it’s only gotten worse lately. The Balance trio bickered but you always got the sense they still cared on some level, even from the beginning. This group is just... fighting. They don’t feel like a found family, they feel like coworkers who often, don’t even like each other.

13 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

#3

you know how in school how every class would assign an hour+ of homework, claiming “it’s not that much” but seemingly forgetting that every other class is also assigning homework...

that’s exactly how all these adulting tasks you’re “supposed to” be doing add up. and you get well-meaning experts each telling you doing X only takes 30 minutes a day, seemingly forgetting that there are hundreds of important things you should do daily that only take 30 minutes.

mental health professionals talk about the benefits of meditation, journaling, creative expression. hair stylists warning you against going to bed with wet hair. physical therapists reccomend a 15-minute stretch routine. nutritionists toute the value of cooking your own meals. professional cleaners will tell you ten things you didn’t know you should be cleaning! dentists remind you it would be better to brush multiple times a day. basically everyone telling you to exercise.

obviously a lot of these things are important and none of them are that difficult in and of themselves, generally speaking, but it all adds up. each of these requires time, energy, or even money. plus all the stuff you’re already doing. 

I feel like these kinds of professionals can get frustrated with people STILL not doing what they’re supposed to be doing. I just wish they would consider that every other area of life has a similar expert, who is similarly telling people to do more. 

17 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

#2

something I've been thinking about for a while is, the gap between thought and action especially with social justice or creating positive change in the world

or to put another way: how do people get from hearing about an issue, and actually doing something? from watching a video essay about walkable cities, to petitioning their local government for specific changes. from hearing about trash getting into the ocean, to attending a beach cleanup. from watching a tiktok about the bees disappearing, to planting native flowers.

I believe this gap is a HUGE part of why people feel hopeless about the future. because they see the problems so clearly, but either don't know how or don't believe they can do anything about it.

and of course disclaimer, there are some people who probably really can't do anything, and they need to focus on their own life for a variety of reasons, that's totally fair. But most people will be able to find *something* even if it's "small".

It doesn't really matter what it is--I mean, make sure it's not actually harmful (e.g. supporting autism speaks)--but other than that, just, pick something and make it your thing! do it when you can. it doesn't have to be challenging; in fact, it's better if it isn't, because something you can maintain is more important!

if this post can get even one other person to figure out soemthing concrete they can do, that would be amazing.

21 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

credit to my brother for this excellent edit idea

44 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #op

[ordersreality]

OR.3.11 Magic.

What is magic?

If the universe is mental and reality is thought, Magic is a study of natural forces that accept or presume those forces might be negotiated with, even if it isn’t on a rational intelligence level.

How is it learned and executed?

Originally magic is learned like other sciences, though that education is interactive and sometimes encouraged. The child notices a pattern, develops and tests theories, and plays with them. They can share in the discovery and compare theories until the question is mastered, and simplified for another generation.

How is it accessed?

Communion, mind with mind. Though, some ceremonies or rites might be wanted to give the little ego something to do while the fire and light weave their will.

Does it have a will of its own?

The universe is mind, magic is the will/desire of that mind. Oh, and it’s fractal. This instance might agree while that one says “Don’t use that spell, you’ll kill yourself!”

Is it restricted in space and time?

Most restrictions are those the magus has on themselves. Can’t change the past, Can’t know the future. Might know enough of the present that patterns might present themselves to a forecaster. I see a pothole, I avoid it and change the future, or fall in because my focus is so driven I just do.

How does it relate to the character, plot and theme of the book?

Some people can become, through choice or fate, a conduit for that Mind and act for some benefit. Others learn her ways to do things that seem just out of reach.

As for plot and theme, we are recognizing the intelligence of the universe we live in, and that we are not isolated from her.

What is the cost of magic?

Energy pays for energy. The magus is sure to express changes in their person, just as an athlete might after years of working out become more proficient at movement.

What can it not do?

While she might play one natural force against another she can do nothing outside of nature’s form.

How long does it last?

If the forces play well together they might last for centuries. During that time the process is sure to become more complex, and even develop a mind and plan of its own.

Who can use it?

Anyone, though they who harmonize with her forces might get more that a few accidental successes.

How do others react to it?

Depends on culture, expectations, and experiences. Though, obvious evil is sure to get a war going.

Why haven’t people with this power taken over the world?

Because death is the greatest blessing the universe grants us. Before that the hermetic rebound is bound to hit. Call it Nemesis, but the moment the magus lets success go to their head and they think themselves above nature’s bounds, they will stub a toe.

Also, in a world where people with that kind of power want more, someone else will either want to be left alone, or will compete for that position. Both would hamper visions of world domination.

· • ° • ·

#fan fiction #tolkien #rpg #order of realities #role play

[snoozingcat]

As of Queen Banana, Chloe’s gone from destructive in general to explicitly self-destructive. She lost her oldest friend and drove her father to, for the first time, tell her he won’t (not can’t) do what she wants. I suspect she’ll soon push Sabrina over the edge as well.

I hope we’ll see Chloe hit rock bottom and reckon with having only herself to blame for her unhappiness. Whether she’s going to completely spiral or try to change is yet to be seen, but... maybe we’ll get to see if Zoe meant what she said about loving her sister no matter what, or if it was truly just a clever bit of acting.

Every character has a place in the story thematically and developmentally. Zoe’s appearance so late in the game intrigues me because the idea that she’s just a replacement Bee seems... rushed, and a bit limp, in a story where even minor characters have long-term arcs. It’s unclear yet where Zoe might grow as a person, but as a narrative foil she has real potential.

First, I think Zoe’s growing friendship with Marinette and the others will undeniably demonstrate that Chloe could have been liked and supported by these people all along... if she’d just abandoned her “step or be stepped on” mentality and been nice. Marinette’s poor opinion of Chloe is often what sets her off where she’s content to ignore her other classmates—despite herself, Chloe really wants Marinette’s respect. I hope when Chloe hits a new low, Marinette will offer another chance to change—as herself this time, instead of Ladybug, and with no greater benefit on the line than the change itself.

Second, Zoe presents an interesting contrast to Adrien. Adrien is friendly and well-liked, but what he isn’t is vulnerable. He rarely expresses his feelings about his father to anyone other than Plagg. He also represses his goofier side, and seems especially stung when Kagami rejects his silliness as “not him” in “Lies”—an episode which begins with a montage of Adrien barely suppressing his unhappiness during a busy workday.

Ladybug often rebuffs his attempts to have them be more vulnerable with each other, like in “Gang of Secrets” when she refuses to talk about her obvious heartbreak, which visibly saddens him. Much has been said about Marinette revealing her identity—and loneliness—to Alya and about the possible results of Chat Noir learning that Ladybug did decide to open up, just not to him. Hopefully the end result of such an arc would be Adrien deciding to be more vulnerable with his friends as Adrien, both in expressing his dissatisfaction with his life and in revealing the sillier side of his personality.

Finally, Lila: she now has almost everything she wanted. Through her lies, she is adored and has a modeling contract. The only goal she hasn’t achieved is the ostracization of Marinette. It’s possible that, having won her other goals, Lila’s decided to leave Marinette alone—but we all know that’s unlikely. We’ll probably see more from Lila soon.

Like Lila, Zoe is a convincing liar who manages to avoid comeuppance through quick thinking. Unlike Lila, she’s given up lying about who she is and uses her lies to prevent akumatization. I’m interested to see how this contrast will play out—Zoe could see through Lila and present a valuable ally to Marinette, who has Adrien and now presumably Alya on her side already. This all fits into this season’s apparent focus on truth and identity, so I wonder if this season is going to expose Lila or at least set the stage for her downfall.

#miraculous ladybug #chloe bourgeois #zoe lee #adrien agreste #lila rossi #marinette dupain cheng #ml season 4 speculation #ml s4 #ml s4 spoilers #ml spoilers #lies spoilers #gang of secrets #gang of secrets spoilers #queen banana #queen banana spoilers #sole crusher #sole crusher spoilers

[defdaily]

‪[TRANSLATION] Arena Homme+ Magazine April 2021 Issue featuring JAY B

Translated by defdaily.

JAY B is free and starting again from scratch. That is what JAY B has in mind. GOT7’s leader announced that he would be leaving JYPE as the group stays together. JAY B is preparing to debut as a solo musician while planning to also release mixtapes and hold exhibitions as Def. We had a chat with JAY B, who has gained more freedom and strength, at the swimming pool about courage, depression, literature and aspirations.

Did you come here alone?

Yes. I took a taxi here. I was the type to go around freely even when I was in JYPE but catching the taxi to work this time around felt new.

All GOT7 members decided to leave JYP but stay together as a group. As a leader, you needed to make a decision, right?

Although we ended up leaving JYPE, we wanted to continue as GOT7. We all agreed to leave [JYPE] and try it between ourselves.The product made from me taking responsibility/taking charge was the single 'Encore’ that was released not too long ago. I was involved in the whole process with a new record label. I was happy to see a good response [to the single]. It was lacking in some areas but I was just very proud that we were able to show a different step. Since we showed through this single that “we did not disband”, what’s next is more important. When we left JYPE, Director Jung Wook mentioned "Your role as a leader starts now." I'm realizing it now.

”I wanted to learn everything about the process of releasing an album and how difficult it is. I wanted to start again from scratch.”

Your role as a leader actually starts now.

I used to find the role of a leader burdensome at times but now I feel a greater sense of responsibility. While supporting each person’s journey, I thought I needed to be the one to step up once we got back together. We also talk regularly in our group chat. Not long ago, Jackson went to China. When Mark went to the USA, I could see him off but when Jackson was leaving, we couldn’t be together because of a schedule. So I told him to have a safe flight, apologised for not being able to see him off and thanked him too. He replied saying he’ll take care and be back.

What motivated you to leave the large agency you've been working with for a long time?

The thought came to mind suddenly as we were promoting as GOT7. Am I taking all these benefits I get for granted? When a schedule is released I just do it, and when they ask me to confirm things I do, but what kind of long process has it gone through before it came to me? Who sends a request and how is it processed? Why am I only waiting until it reaches me and simply watching it unfold? I wanted to be directly involved in that process. I wanted to learn everything about the process of releasing an album and how difficult it is. I want to be humble and start from the bottom again.

Didn't you need the courage?

Of course I did. I was also afraid. My position has risen to all the way up here, but when it comes to my actual knowledge, I think I'm only down there. I was afraid that the difference would feel too big once I left the company. But I think I would have been more afraid if I stayed at JYPE. Since that difference would have grown bigger and bigger. My real self is here, so I should face it head-on a little faster. That's what I thought.

As JAY B or as Def. who releases mixtapes and holds exhibitions, you must have had the desire to do something new.

I want to do research and build it up step by step without haste. JAY B will show hip hop and RnB music that appeals to the general public and Def. will do activities that Def. wants to do. It could be mixtapes or exhibitions, or other different kinds of fictions. Def. is the nickname I used as a bboy before I became a trainee. It’s like air floating about freely. It could be house or soul or acoustic or even modern rock. In a way, you can say that Def. is close to my “main self” but since I debuted as JAY B, I’ll also show a devoted side of myself through JAY B. I want to be a person who can do both what he has to do and what he wants to do freely.

Listening to your mixtapes, and hearing that you like the styles of D’Angelo and Ray Charles, you seem to be attached to the Southern US rhythm and blues and soul music.

I do like them a lot. I like the entire hip-hop culture that originated from there. That culture also includes DJing, graffiti and even bboying. Since I started as a bboy, I would look up older videos to watch, study the culture and also look into what each dance move symbolizes, with my bboying crew and that's how I became fascinated. What captivated me the most was their obstinacy. I felt respect towards the conviction and obstinacy they carried with their culture.

Is that mood still incorporated in your music and dance?

Yes. For example, I don’t think choreography is dance. I think dancing is when music plays and you like the rhythm and start humming and bobbing your head and moving your body. I think dancing is a free act you do out of enjoyment.

What was the reason you joined an idol group after starting out as a bboy?

I gained an interest in music too, not just dancing. When I was young, I listened to D’Angelo’s music and wanted to become a singer like him. But I was rebellious when I first joined JYPE. Haha. I was even suspended for a month once as a trainee. I definitely said hello but they said I didn’t so they said "If you're going to be stubborn, then go home" and me with my young heart replied “Then I shall head home.” and left. Then I met up with my bboying crew after a long time, and in just a few months it turned into a different world. The crew members were above me and I was worried because I could feel myself far away by myself. Should I go back to bboying? Should I continue as a trainee? In the end, I wanted to do my very best in whatever I chose so I decided to focus on becoming a singer. Since I wanted to do music, it was a choice I made with no regrets.

You started as a dancer and ended up as a main vocalist. What was music to you back then?

It was a challenge. Trainees are divided into singing and dancing. I joined as a dancer but what I wanted to do was become a singer and not just do dance. But since I was put into the dancing division, I worked even harder with singing to break that prejudice. I often felt defeated. I still feel defeated with singing. Haha. But music is about endless research. Now it’s more about research than studying.

You grew up as an only child to your parents who did farming?

I was an ordinary kid. I enjoyed Haruki’s Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage and thought the “colourless” kid was just like me. I was a calm kid who helped his parents with their farm work. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have any older siblings but they said I used to talk to myself a lot. My mother said there was a way she would know if I was home or not. If I was home, she would hear me talk to myself and be like “Oh really?” “Yes really” haha.

It’s extraordinary to read Haruki at that age.

There was an older friend that I knew and he was really cool. He looked really cool reading on the bus with his legs crossed. He said “Hey, Read a book and build up some knowledge.” As I was trying to be cool like him, I gained a favourite author and started reading more since I enjoyed it.

What kind of books do you like?

When I was a teenager I often read Kafka On The Shore. It felt like Kafka was just like me, and so while reading it, I even cried. The style of Murakami Radio was also interesting. The ending phrase “But I like that more…” was very witty. I’m collecting books from secondhand bookstores from authors who won the Young Author awards. I like Lee Jang-wook's short story Byeon Hee-bong. The main character knows the actor Byun Hee-bong, but the world doesn't know him. He would ask "Don't you know Byun Hee-bong from the movie The Host?" But no one knows. I like stories that don’t intend to be funny but they end up making me giggle.

What do you read these days?

I try to read poetry. I purchased and read the first volume that appeared on Moonji’s Poetry Collection, but it has too many Hanja characters. Haha. I started with Munhwak’s Poetry Collection. I have volumes 1 to 85. I also read poet Park Joon's collection of poems and poet Lee Eun-gyu's Affectionate Name. I even underlined and wrote things down.

Among the idols and musicians I’ve met, I think you are the most extensive reader.

We went on tours often and we would have a lot of time in my hotel room. When I went out I took pictures and when I stayed in my hotel room I read books. When I go on an overseas tour, I pack around 30 books in my suitcase. Then I bring back the books that left an impression on me, and those that didn’t sometimes I dispose of them there. These days, I look for independent publications too. I often look for independent publishing bookstores in Nakseongdae or Haebangchon. There are many books that contain honest stories that are not refined, and the power of those sentences is great.

How does reading influence your work?

The poetic expressions with poetic license help when writing lyrics. You read a new sentence and think “What is this expressing?” You receive inspiration from that image being expressed in a new way. I think of lyrics as poetry too. There are times I write how I feel honestly, but when I want to include a certain meaning I’d want to write the lyrics like poetry.

In your photo exhibition <ALONE> last year, you took pictures of objects and signs in the middle of the road.

Wouldn't it feel very lonely if you think about it from an object’s point of view? The camera captures just an instance but the object will stay there. I think each person has an insatiable loneliness. I like the artist Seonglib’s works, and I feel loneliness in his drawings. I don't know why I keep talking about loneliness, I guess I’m familiar with loneliness.

Seems like you take more pictures of objects and landscapes than people.

I don’t really like taking pictures of people. You can clearly see a person’s emotions in their eyes. I prefer hiding things rather than revealing them too much. I prefer objects, backgrounds, and natural objects rather than subjects that openly express 'It's me!'. Tranquil things, I like when you go past something and go “that’s how it was.” I try my best since my job requires being presented to people but that’s also how I am.

Who do you like as a movie director?

I like Woody Allen’s directing. My favourite is Match Point. It's a love story that goes beyond taboos, and it's electrifying. The face of the actor who secretly asks the reunited lover to give him her number remains in my memory for a long time. How could he direct such a real-looking, raw look in their eyes? When I was a theater and film major, I used to take directing classes rather than acting. If I were to direct a film, I would like to shoot an eccentric witty romantic comedy like Love Fiction directed by Jeon Gye-soo.

Are you self-conscious as an artist?

I’m interested in a variety of genres, and interact with crews often, but I think goofing off just because they are an artist is an arrogant attitude. Everyone is their own artist, no matter what they do, right? I'm not trying to be pretentious, I just think there's a difference in expression, and people who work in the office are also doing their own art. That’s why I’m a little shy about the title “artist.” Is there a need to be puffed up with pride because I’m an artist? I’m just a person.

While filming for “What's in my bag” and revealed your medications for depression and panic disorder. When did you face your depression?

I didn’t know I had depression. I thought I was being weak for a short while and let it pass. But on an occasion I got examined and found out I had depression. They asked how I lived by without going to the psychiatrist. I said I just thought I was the type to feel blue. Haha. I’m the type that doesn’t show [what is wrong] but they said I was in a state where I needed treatment. After going to counselling and taking medications, I’m much better now.

“I just wanted to talk about it. It may not show, but depression is both a common and dangerous illness.”

I think you’re cool for having the courage to talk about this.

I got diagnosed and looked at the people around me. There are friends who are ashamed of it and try to hide it, and there are friends who talk about it as if it’s insignificant. I just wanted to talk about it. It may not show, but it’s both a common and dangerous illness. A mental illness is an illness too. Among my fans, or those who read this interview, if there is someone who feels depressed, don’t be ashamed of it and I hope you receive treatment and overcome it. It’s not an embarrassing thing and it doesn’t need to be hidden. And I was filming content where I show what’s inside my bag; I can’t lie. I wish everyone would be healthy.

Are you bad at lying?

Yes. If I have to tell a lie, I think it’s just better to not say anything. Since I’m the type that’s honest and straightforward, I also don’t like beating around the bush.

Can you share a way one can take a step forward towards recovering from depression?

Look at the world in a broad view. Know that there are many places you haven’t been to yet and there are many things you haven’t felt yet. It's also good to take a walk and go off your usual route and take a path you've never been on. Small adventures can also be of great help. Just by leaving the house you’re already halfway there. I think there are more ways you can refresh yourself outside rather than inside. Also, I thought I was an honest person but after being diagnosed with depression, I thought I should be more honest with myself and more faithful to myself. At times like this, think of yourself before others.

What do you believe in?

I just believe in god. I don’t have a religion. I don’t know what kind of existence god is but I do believe that there is a god. When I’m thankful or am having a hard time, I pray. “Thank you.” “Please let me get through this wisely.”

What is the greatest motivation that moves you?

As long as I’m alive, I want to continue doing work that will leave a message. I believe that there is no next life. I think I should live this time diligently to the fullest. To have no regrets.

Translated by defdaily.

#jaebeom #def. #lim jaebeom #jay b #GOT7 jb #interviewtrans #jb trans #jb interview #defdaily:trans

[detectivehannibal]

Baking Pleasures

__

Hannibal Lecter x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Implications of sexual content.

Word Count: 1,207

“Baking isn’t so bad. Is it, Dr. Lecter?”

__

You didn’t have the beg Hannibal for much. More often than not, all you had to do was ask and he was all over it. Over the years, you had stretched and experimented to see just how far you could go to get what you wanted (within reason, of course). As far as your current request was concerned, it should’ve been no problem at all. That’s why you were so surprised at how adamant he was being about NOT doing it. 

Hannibal was a culinary master...depending on who you asked. He put careful thought, time, and precision into his cooking. If it wasn’t picture perfect, then he didn’t serve it. Every element of his dishes were intentional and methodical. His courses were planned to delicate perfection. Cooking was likely his biggest passion. Which is why you were just so confused that he wouldn’t do this for you.

“Come on, please? I don’t understand what the problem is.” You asked for the thousandth time.

“There simply isn’t a problem. I just don’t have the desire to do it.” He replied, not looking up from the book in his hand. 

You huffed at that. The man had done so much for you in your time together and this is where he drew the line? It was a little pathetic if you were being honest. 

“I thought you’d love the idea of it! It’s almost Christmas, you know. I think it’s only fitting to get into the spirit.” You argued back. 

He looked at you briefly with one of you most unamused expressions you had ever seen, before silently returning his attention to his selected reading. Who would’ve thought that getting Hannibal Lecter to bake gingerbread cookies would be like pulling teeth? It wasn’t like you were asking him to give you a kidney or anything. You stared at him for the next following moments, his sigh was heavy as he closed the book. 

“I don’t bake.” He stated plainly.

“Yes, you do. I’ve seen you do it!” You screeched.

He shook his head;

“I bake exquisite dishes. That is well beyond my wheelhouse.” He bantered.

Your eyes squinted and you shook your head in disbelief. Surely he wasn’t denying this because he didn’t know how to. You knew he had to have a recipe somewhere in his array of culinary directions. He wasn’t lying when he said that this wasn’t something that he would normally do. The thought of it just seemed menial and rather pointless. Hannibal didn’t even really do much for Christmas. He never even decorated until you moved in. Even then he didn’t really get that involved with it. So gingerbread cookies weren’t in his best interest. Honestly, you just thought that this would’ve been something fun for the two of you to do. 

“Hanni, this isn’t going to diminish your reputation as a chef or anything,” You explained; “I wasn’t trying to invalidate your skills.” 

He felt a little twinge in his chest. He was a prideful man, even if he didn’t show it most of the time. He didn’t cherish the thought of doing anything that would be considered out of character. Something as commercial and something so childish (in his opinion) just wasn’t him. However, doing things for your benefit and your entertainment was definitely not out of character for him. He genuinely loved doing things for you. Perhaps his love language was acts of service. If nothing else, maybe he could score some extra boyfriend points if he did this. After all, he found it hard to say no to you. 

“Of course not, darling. I never thought you were,” He said, turning to face you; “If you will, go set up the kitchen. I’ll be there shortly.”

Giddy with excitement, you leapt from the sofa and made a mad dash for his culinary wonderland. He only smiled and offered the lightest laugh at your behavior. Just what had he gotten himself into?

Sure enough, Hannibal had a recipe stashed away in his cabinet. It was fairly simple as far as ingredients go. All-purpose flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, sugar. It was pretty straightforward. You sat across from him, watching intently as his hands worked their magic. You were rather talkative in the kitchen, which he didn’t mind. He liked when you asked questions or displayed your curiosity. He loved hearing the sound of your voice.

“Baking isn’t so bad. Is it, Dr. Lecter?” You asked with a charmed smirk.

He had to admit. He was having the time of his life. He never thought that doing something so basic and commercialized would bring him such joy. Maybe he wasn’t such a stranger to common life after all. 

“I must admit that it is rather pleasurable. Especially when it’s for my wife.” He said, flashing a smile.

He rolled out the chestnut colored dough onto his vast countertop, noting to himself that he didn’t really have any way to shape them. Nonetheless, he was very steady with his hands and he could carve them out on his own. He pulled a slender knife from one of his drawers, leaning down closely to accurately trace gingerbread men-like shapes. You leaned forward on your elbows watching the way his focus zeroed in on the current task at hand. Eventually, he was able to sculpt out 12 cookies, which were just about as flawless as he could’ve gotten them.

20 minutes in the oven (and a love making quickie on the counter) later, Hannibal presented to you the most gorgeous cookies you had ever seen. They were seriously like something out of a holiday card. You were over the moon with how they turned out, but even then they were still missing the best part. You had always loved decorating cookies ever since you were a little kid. You felt as if you didn’t need to pain Hannibal further, so you took it upon yourself. Now with the roles reversed, he watched as you filled the whipped up icing into a piping bag, ready to go. He observed the way your fingers gently guided the correct amount of icing onto each cookie, your arm steadily moving the direction of how the icing flowed around the edges of each individual cookie. 

“I think they’re finished!” You exclaimed after a few moments later.

Hannibal approached next to you, looking down at your work. It was pretty nifty, he had to admit. He selected one and held to your lips. You took a generous bite, the flavor like a sweet wave over your taste buds.

“So, what’s the verdict?” He questioned jokingly.

Your eyelashes fluttered as a satisfied grin appeared on your face;

“Amazing as always.” You complimented.

He took a bite himself from the same one, he was also content with your conjoined work. 

“That makes two of you.” He spoke.

You felt your cheeks get hot, but fired off at him;

“Forward today, aren’t we? You make gingerbread cookies once and now you’re suddenly bold.” 

He hummed, gripping your hips and pulling you to him. His voice was like silk in your ear, and it was enough to make you forget all about the cookies at hand.

“You just don’t know how bold I can get.”

#hannibal #hannibal lecter #hannibal x reader #Hannibal TV #hannibal lecter x reader #hannibal lecter imagine #hannibal imagine #hannibal lecter imagines #detectivehannibal

[hunxi-after-hours]

Thanks so much to anon and you for talking about gender and women in danmei. I truly appreciate Meng Xi Shi for writing and fleshing out great female side characters (and characters in general). I have tried to bring up this topic to my fellow readers, only to get shut down for it because “danmei is about men, why would it focus on women? Go read baihe if you want women” And that’s not the point???? Why shouldn’t we not focus on women in danmei? They’re characters in a story too! it just saddens me to see people brush the presence of women off in stories just because the focus is on men since the main couple is gay.

(further in the conversation started here)

I think that understanding how gender is navigated in danmei is a kind of knowledge that is infinitely benefitted by, well, a larger sample size. I know I personally have held some rather uncharitable/not very well thought-out reservations about female characters in danmei in the past, and it’s definitely been an ongoing journey of learning and critiquing as I gain nuance by reading more, and more charitably

it is deeply ironic to me that people would say that “danmei is about men, not women,” because like... actually, it is so clearly about women. it’s practically in the definition of danmei, that it’s written by female authors for female consumption, and uses male characters to explore narratives, themes, alternative identities, and transgressive desires. not to oversimplify the genre, but a lot of danmei is about negotiating very female concerns through the neutral space of male bodies, because guess what? being a lady in East Asia, or anywhere else in the world, is often one long train of no good very bad times

the fact of it is simply that the female body is a controversial and contested space, both in real life and in literature. from a legal standpoint, we can talk about abortion legislation; from a literary standpoint, we can talk about objectification and symbolism; from a commercial standpoint, we can talk about Mulvey’s male gaze and commodification; from a cultural standpoint, we can talk about the double standards of gender when it comes to societal mores around desire and power

and danmei, as a genre, sidesteps all of the issues surrounding the female body by focusing its central storyline on the relationship between two men. in one fell swoop, the genre has neatly excised a lot of the trauma that comes with being female-bodied in society, contemporary or historical--for starters, male characters don’t (usually) have to face the intense pain and physical violence of childbirth, or the social pressure to have children. in turn, the act of sex becomes something else entirely when your characters don’t have to worry about birth control--instead, it’s about love, and care, and trust, and intimacy, and pleasure, all without the looming specter of childbirth, childcare, the traditional expectations of society laid on female bodies

and that’s just like, barely scratching the surface of the metatextual dynamics of gender in danmei. There’s another quote from that Jin Feng article that I keep thinking about:

“As the hero in Minami Ozaki’s Zetsu’ai 1989 (Absolute love 1989), a classic Japanese tanbi manga that also initiated many danmei fans, famously asserts: it does not matter whether the object of his affection is a man, woman, dog, cat, plant, or machine; if he falls in love with the other, then so be it. A danmei hero thus loves a man not because he is gay; he simply disregards heterosexist norms in the pursuit of true love.”

so like, in a sense, danmei isn’t even about gay men--it’s about exploring alternative ways of experiencing/expressing love and desire in defiance of the strictures of traditional heteronormative patriarchy, and it just so happens to borrow male bodies to do 

(whether or not danmei is inherently “appropriative” of the gay male voice or the gay male body, I think, is a completely separate--if related!--issue that I’m still working on teasing out in my head because I don’t think it’s as simple as a unidirectional “appropriation,” and look, if we wanted to talk about appropriations of gendered voices, I’ve got 3000 years of the Chinese literary tradition to yell about but that’s neither here nor there, and a lot of the dynamics of “appropriation” come down to representation, which is its own can of worms for a genre that is being produced under an authoritarian regime that can and will jail authors for censorable content, so like, what does it even mean for authors to write queer relationships as narrative device rather than representation when the growth of “real queer literature” in China is something that has been actively stifled by government censorship--)

I find the intersection of wuxia/xianxia fiction with danmei particularly fascinating, because wuxia gives you characters who are generally capable of kicking anyone’s ass seven ways to Sunday (read: characters who are more than capable of self-defense). this does not wholly remove the threat of violence through physical domination, but it greatly evens the playing field. it makes it possible to explore actively challenging relationships, like the dynamic between Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi in 《千秋》--Shen Qiao spends much of the book being, well, harassed by everyone and anyone he meets, including Yan Wushi, and the one life-line we can all cling on to is the fact that Shen Qiao could simply up and leave at any point. for the most part, he’s too polite to do so, but he is absolutely capable of it. he has agency. 

what, then, does it mean for characters to explore relationships of power and agency, consent and intimacy, trust and violence? what are the parameters of forgiveness? what is the source of compassion?

female characters in danmei become three times as interesting because they reveal a lot about the author and their feelings on gender in an overwhelmingly male-dominated society/genre/world. what does it mean for Bai Rong, Yuan Xiuxiu, and the women of the Hehuan Sect in 《千秋》 to literally become more powerful through dual (sexual) cultivation? what does the existence of misogyny in these fantastic worlds tell us about the relationship of gender and sex to power? I spend a lot of time thinking about how, in TGCF, Ling Wen functionally gets away with serious wrongdoing because of the sheer merit of her abilities--in a sense, she embodies the fantasy that merit alone can and will prove your worthiness, regardless of gender or societal expectations of female literacy. Or, the fact that Yuan Zixiao, who might not be able to kick the asses of every man who dares cast aspersion on her character (unlike, say, Gu Hengbo), can observe, analyze, and immediately pinpoint the weaknesses of any person’s fighting style goes to show that there are more options for being a female character with agency in these genres, beyond simply being strong enough to outfight every man who crosses your path. and I’ve barely explored the genre at all; this is pulling from a sample size of two (2) authors.

tl;dr gender in danmei is fascinating and sdlkfjsdlk I still have a long post problem

#oh god I was so out of it last night I literally forgot to tag this #hmmmmm #new tag? new tag #hunxi thinks about danmei and gender

[nestable]

Feminism in ACOTAR

(This is a bit long so bare with me)

As a politics student and general member of the public who's curious about feminist themes, I've read a lot of feminist writings which have informed my opinion in saying that none of the acotar books can be described as feminist.

I've noticed that the big motivator behind describing the books as feminist is feyres appointment of High lady. Though that may be pivotal in prythian history, we cant ignore the fact that it is still a fairly patriachal society. Having a few women in places of power like mor, amren, feyre etc. Is not enough because women don't grow up on an island and are also influenced by patriachal views or mindsets. In short, just because someone is a woman and is in a position of power, doesnt mean that they will cater to the needs of women or are feminist. Women, especially white women(this is important because sjms writes white feminism) have often gotten into positions of power and actually ignored women and done the same that their male predecessors have done and often threw other women under the bus in order to retain their tokenism status. And the main flaw of white feminism which is the reason why it coined the term 'white feminism' is that it doesnt encompass all the intersectionalities that women reside in and only focus on a western model of what it means to be a woman and anything outside of that is backward and 'barbaric. We see this in the judgement and disregarding of POC's experiences and outlooks on life because they are different to theirs. There are more than enough examples of the white women in the series judging the illyrians which are seen by the fandom as POC's and how they maliciously drag their customs through the mud. Instead of getting these views from illyrian women themselves, we get them from white women who arent connected to that culture whatsoever and who have nothing to say except judgement and critique instead of actually helping.

We see this with the white characters views of illyrian cultures and their conclusion of the condition of women without even having a single conversation with illyrian women. Illyrian women in this set up have no agency and no voice and that leaves the women of the IC to speak for them which is counterproductive. This is wrong in that many western cultures have misinterpreted different cultures and ignored the women in those societies as being disenfranchised and have used this as an excuse to invade and colonize under the guise of liberating women when in actual fact they dont care about the women at all, and are only concerned in reaping the benefits of that culture and keeping them under their control. An example of this is rhys ignoring the treatment of illyrian women but reaping the benefit of having illyrians fight in his wars.

Feyre as high lady

It's unfair to judge feyres actions as high lady as yet because we've barely seen her act, but from the little that we know, she follows Rhys' every action and decision without question. And rhys hasn't done anything for the improvement of women's position socially or economically at all (we all know the state of the illyrian camps) in all the 500 yrs he's been high lord. Apart from Rhys, the inner circle has 2 women in the highest leadership positions and even they havent done anything and have even ignored the plight of women under their jurisdiction, (mor with Hewn city) I dont even think amren cares about anything besides her jewels tbh. So it's fair to assume that feyre will follow in those very footsteps. She already has biased and low views on the illyrians and people who reside in hewn city to the point where she participates in the 'pimp and whore' act that she puts on t deal with them. And we've never seen her speak to illyrian women so to her their voices and autonomy dont matter.

Male feminism in the IC

The only male who can be seen as being feminist in the series is Cassian because aside from simply declaring that wing clipping is illegal, he actually does the ground work to ensure it doesn't happen by offering the women to train with him. Though this is a weak cure for the issues the women face in Illyria, it's a start and far more work than anything the other characters have done in the name of women empowerment.

Another so called feminist figure in the series is rhysand. Why he's described as such defeats me, but I'll go through some points to prove that hes nothing of the sort.

1. He created a library for sexual assault survivors.

Though this is a nice effort, it can't be described as feminism because he doesnt extend the same courtesy to the other women in his territory and is only concerned with women in Velaris. Supporting women who worship you isnt feminism isnt feminism either and we know that the entirety of Velaris see the IC as blameless gods. Based on mors history, its obvious that the women in hewn city are suffering just as much if not more but hes forsaken them to live under mors parents/abusers rule. And creating a safe house for sexual assault survivors isnt as much feminism as it is human decency. Especially considering how much money hes got.

2. Banning illyrian wing clipping

Wing clipping is still a pandemic in the illyrian camps meaning that he didnt put enough provisions to ensure that it stops. Passing a law and ensuring that it is followed are two different things and rhys clearly dowsnt know the distinction. An additional point regarding illyrian women is that it was mentioned in acofas that they were joining the men in rebelling, and if that doesnt say anything about their feelings with him being high lord and how he doesnt cater to them, then I dont know what does. This also speaks to the point of the assumption that women of color dont have agency in their own societies. He said something like the men 'manipulated' the women into joining their rebellion, which insinuates that they can't think for themselves and are completely voiceless and this is a factor of whit feminism, the belief that WOC colour cant speak for themselves and are meek and susetable to being controlled or manipulated. It is a huge possibility that the women can't really express their opinions because they are suppressed by their men, however we dont see rhys interacting with any women and getting their opinion on things. He assumes that they are forced into everything and though we havent gotten the book yet I'm gonna say this is false. The reason being if rhys was such a good high lord and cared for women's issues, why would the women side with their 'abusive' men instead of their so called benevolent high lord?

3. Rhys appointed women in his IC

First of all, appointing women based on merit and qualifications is feminism, not appointing family members and you underaged bride just because 'you love her'. Though mor and amren may be qualified, and that's a massive 'maybe', they haven't done anything to improve the lives of women. Like their high lord they are complacent and Hewn city and illyria are more than enough to prove this. What rhys has essentially done is nepotism and corruption and no one can convince me otherwise.

Going further on the inner circle women, rhys was willing to sacrifice these very women to achieve his goal and this is self serving and anti feminist. The first being abusing feyre UTM and then using her as bait for the attor, then later making a deal with eris even though he knows his history with mor. If anyone believes that these actions are remotely feminist or excusable, then feminism is not for you and need help because its abusive and patriachal.

In conclusion rhys isnt feminist, mor isnt feminist, amren isnt feminist, feyre isnt feminist, azriel isnt even in the conversation and cassian is the only one scratching the surface. Also, white feminism is an exclusive and limited way to portray and execute feminism, women getting leadership positions based on their proximity to men just advances the false notion that women can only succeed if they 'sleep' their way to the top and just because a woman is in a leadership space, thag doesnt make that state of affairs inherently feminist because women are also carriers of patriarchy.

I tried to sum up my points but for more on white feminism, feminist intersectionalites and how being female doesnt make a person feminist, I advice you read Bell Hooks' writings because she touches on these topics in far better ways than I can.

#acotar #acowar #acomaf #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #anti feyre #my take on feminism #stop caling female representation feminism #anti sjm #sjm critical

[flickeringart]

Sagittarius Sun and Moon Combinations

Planets represent different energetic principals in the life of an individual – the signs show how these energies express themselves.

Having an inner planet (or luminary) in the sign of Sagittarius gives the personality enthusiasm, an expansive quality. No matter what other placements the person has, the energy and spirited nature is going to come through.

To simplify;

The Sun represents individuation, ideal self-expression and conscious self-expression.

The Moon represents instinct, emotional nature and personal needs.

Sagittarius Sun – Gemini Moon

This person has a difficult time keeping the enthusiasm in check. Once the ball is set rolling, it doesn’t move in a straight line, it bounces off the walls until it accidentally hits a target. The overall personality is set on being honest, but in the jungle of information one could get confused about what one’s thoughts actually are. They change so fast and move from this to that – it might feel like there’s no truth except the constant search for truth. The person would crave stimulation and be allergic to boredom. The personality would be unsuited to work that requires stamina and determination – there’s too much scattered energy living inside this individual to mobilize towards a concrete goal. The excitement of living is more important than anything that can be accomplished  – to inspire, charm and have fun is what this person lives for. When potentials aren’t actualized or when the person is forced to follow a strict path it will be difficult to find any joy. But, even in the midst of restriction, there’s a light-heartedness and a willingness to provide a spark of inspiration. The person is full of ideas and pride, anything could be an adventure if one is allowed to exercise one’s creative mind and bring some life to existence. On the down side, this person would feel disinclined to define themselves in any way. To remain in a state of potential is much preferred to concretize a stance, a need or a desire. Everything depends on the moment, what arises and what is called for with this combo. The constant state of flexibility could benefit the person but be detrimental at the same time. The effort and dedication it takes to wait for something to actualize itself through a longer process doesn’t necessarily appeal to a person with these placements. On one level, it’s as if this person isn’t registering the pressures of life, but is sublimating them, dealing with them as mental concepts rather than being squarely in the experience of them. Keeping things moving and avoiding soaking in experiences could lead to feelings of meaninglessness and futility, despite the original proclivity to be optimistic. This is a healthy state, presumably, which gives the mutable personality some depth instead of mere superficial excitement. When the person matures, there’s recognition of value in the journey, and value in information. Not to mention the recognition of power in knowledge.

Sagittarius Sun – Pisces Moon

There’s a lot of optimism and sensitivity to this combo. While the Sagittarius personality might be able to brush things off and put themselves above any petty criticism of their character, the Piscean need is to be loved by everyone. Life is not worth living if there’s not a genuine belief in love, and depending on what circumstances the person find themselves in, the dream of bliss might get crushed or kept intact. Even though the process of individuation for this kind of person is to gain confidence, a spirit of enthusiasm and trust, the person is originally prone to want to retreat into a state of non-separateness. There’s a tendency to idealize people and places, to live with a kind of bitter-sweet outlook on life. While the person would strive to always have things be exciting and to explore things outside of the comfort zone, there would be great emotional sensitivity to stimuli which could hold them back. The person would perhaps more often than not end up exploring their interests and fascinations in private – exploring the inner world of dreams and images could be very satisfying. Since Sagittarius and Pisces are universal signs, there might be an enhanced capacity to intuitively know things, to intuitively grasp complex themes and patterns within and without. Both signs hold broad and inclusive perspectives and seeks to make sense of the totality of reality through meaning and purpose. The limited and the personal is not this person’s primary concern. The essence of life is sought on a general level. There’s an awareness of the unseen, a great love affair with God and an acceptance to be led through existence back to one’s source. Although the person might go through episodes of sadness and world-weariness, the Sagittarian identity that is unfolding throughout life is designed to have faith, to inspire, to convey wisdom and adopt a more or less carefree attitude - never loosing sight of the big picture. The Piscean tendency to be thoughtful and introspective adds a nice touch of depth to the personality, and a remarkable ability to feel what is taking place emotionally on a collective level. The person lives in connection with humanity and the world more than others, always picking up on trends of the times.

Sagittarius Sun – Virgo Moon

There’s a concentration and an attention to detail in the quest for knowledge. The zest for life is paired with practical reason – there’s an awareness that extraordinary life experiences won’t just fall in one’s lap, they are put together piece be piece. The tendency is to plan, to organize and process everything, which could put a damp cloth over the desire to be care-free. Anxiety over whether everything is going to work out is conflicting with the trust that the person strives to develop. Sagittarius Suns are supposed to take on a broad vision, a perspective that allows for mishaps and bumps in the road because one knows that it’s all part of divine plan. The Virgo Moon effectively counteracts this by being aware of things that could go wrong from a more earth-based perspective. To ride a bike without a helmet could end up in a disaster or eating too many sweets could make the person hyper-active. The Virgo temperament is not designed to overlook these little things, which could make the person frustrated because the Sagittarian spirit doesn’t want to be limited by petty things. The advantage, however, is that the clumsiness and boldness of the person is toned down by a careful and hyper-aware disposition that could serve to keep them out of trouble. The friction that is created between a rational and physically anchored perspective and a adventurous and freedom-loving one can produce an interesting dynamic. There’s a push and pull between self-actualization and basic personal attributes. The need to have established routines that guarantee optimal health and efficiency has to exist alongside the process of finding oneself, the process of actualizing as an individual. As long as there’s mere focus on ritual and everyday normality, there’s nothing that sparks the self-expression. Once there’s room for excitement and pursuing an intuitive path, the Virgo attributes can come in handy putting all the knowledge into practice and not loosing sight of the importance of specifics. Both signs are mutable, so adaptability is a great strength, although stubbornness and skepticism might kick in every so often. One should take care as to not let the belief in one’s intellectual capacity cause ego-inflation. Knowledge should be used for good of all, not to enhance one’s own sense of superiority.

Sagittarius Sun – Sagittarius Moon

With the Sun and Moon in Sagittarius nothing stands in the way of pure enjoyment of life. Independence, freedom, travel, exploration, adventure – life is calling them to set out on a quest for truth, a journey of the spirit. This person would not want to settle and would prefer to keep up the speed, even in old age. There’s a tendency to live as if one has already reserved a place in heaven, free of sin, free of guilt. There’s nothing to impede or hinder this person because life itself is what is treasured, not the particular form or circumstance. On the down side, this attitude could exclude the awareness of denser emotional states, making the person prone to gloss over negativity by viewing it as a betrayal of the eternal spirit. There’s validity to the experience of limitation and lack – the denial of these is to avoid going deeper and cope by flying up into the realm of belief in eternal life. Although this person would generally be open to a multitude of perspectives, there would be a strong sense of the correctness of personal opinion. The need to preach one’s stance with force could upset a few people. There’s a censoring that could happen which would seem selfish and narrow-minded. Not to mention that there can be a scatteredness to the person’s thinking that could make their message seem insubstantial and backed by confidence rather that convincing arguments. The task is to adjust and evolve into the more refined traits of Sagittarius, to cultivate compassion and understanding for people, to uplift and inspire through genuine love of life rather than going down a path of reckless and irresponsibility. It’s good to have confidence but it should not be acquired through rubbing one’s competence in other people’s faces and bragging unnecessarily about one’s broad knowledge and insight. One should watch out for the risk of viewing oneself as superior, bossiness can hardly be labeled a virtue – it’s childish and immature. The person might not be suited to lead because of their strong ambivalent and independent streak, but I could see this combo being a great side-kick, a resource of great value that would have to be kept on ”long leash” in order to be willing to work under someone else. The person would definitely need variety and freedom to act on impulses.

Sagittarius Sun – Libra Moon

The bold and fearless self-expression is slightly modified by the need to enhance the self through entering relationships. The person naturally gravitates toward self-flattery disguised as humility. The effort to be charming, sociable and well-liked is on autopilot while the more bold and uninhibited individuality needs to be developed and expressed consciously. The person cares about how other people perceive them, for better and for worse. To develop the Sagittarian traits one might need to live from an outlook of a more general and universal standpoint, viewing social interaction as an experience on the road to truth rather than an end in and of itself. The person might benefit from taking risks by speaking their mind when it isn’t socially advantageous, to push the limits of what is socially appropriate. It might not be comfortable, but it could be worth it in order to live more from a place of freedom than restriction. The Libra Moon needs to navigate carefully as to ensure optimal social and relational esteem. Personal safety and satisfaction depends on having other people to bounce their ideas off of. There’s difficulty in merely setting out on one’s own and trusting one’s gut – everything is done within the framework of a social context. Libra is very aware of the fact that one doesn’t exist as an island unto oneself, there’s other people that contribute to form one’s own life. Being with the right people at the right place and the right time makes all the difference to who one is. There’s some validity to this perspective but it’s also very limited and superficial. By developing one’s Sagittarian expression it’s possible to transcend the personal and the social and see others as fellow travelers of the world – equally independent and valuable despite all the differences. The Libra Moon is covertly competitive, giving off the impression that they’re merely out to make everyone else feel respected and seen. In fact, to be pleasant is their agenda, to ”win” at the social game. The Sagittarius Sun however, makes the person prone to be a little arrogant and blunt which could taint the perfect impression one is trying to preserve. Speaking first and thinking later could put this person in a tight spot of quickly trying to patch things up by doing the socially appropriate thing of apologizing or compensating for the slip-ups.

Sagittarius Sun – Cancer Moon

The optimistic and casual attributes of the ideal self becomes difficult to accommodate for in the midst of mood-swings, strong emotional attachments and apprehensiveness about the ”world out there”. The natural way of coping with life is through putting up strong defenses against threat. There’s great sensitivity and need of mothering, which the person seeks to provide for themselves – either through partnership, a family or perhaps a close circle of friends. The ability to care and support others through their ups and downs in life could earn them a positive reputation of being considerate and trust-worthy. However, the Sagittarian potential calls the person to develop qualities of openness, curiosity, fearlessness and trust. A spirit of adventure is worth cultivating while having a safe base to return to when the world starts to seem too harsh and inconsiderate. Sagittarius Suns are not very keen on admitting to vulnerability and weakness, but this combo requires these states to be factored in. To live as if there’s no tomorrow and as if one is immortal and exempt from frailty is not possible to get away with. Feelings should not be viewed as an inconvenience, they should be valued for the experience they provide. There’s no use glossing-over personal and primal needs - they exist in their own right. I can picture this person as a parent, capable of being soft and gentle with the children yet ready to play and take them out on little adventures when the mood hits. It’s after all not only important to provide shelter and protection but to instill an confidence that allows one to test limits and attempting to fulfill innate potential. There’s an element of trust that needs to be cultivated in order to venture outside of the safe zone, a trust in life to be helpful rather than destructive. These signs complement each other because they respresent different dynamics, on the Cancer end there’s awareness of threats to survival and a feelings of vulnerability, on the Sagittarius end there’s the pursuit of knowledge and freedom of the spirit. Cancer is primordial while Sagittarius is universal. Literary and philosophical knowledge might not make the person feel safe, but it will be how the person expresses their individuality.

Sagittarius Sun – Capricorn Moon

If this isn’t the embodiment of the dutiful pursuer of truth I don’t know what it is. There’s a need to achieve something of substance, of greatness. The feeling of abundance is not there from the get go, so the person has to summon their resources and use them wisely as to get ahead. The person is very controlled and conscious of how they present themselves, strategically trying to get everything right as to reach their long term goal. On the downside, there’s a lot of internal pressure and inhibitions of spontaneity which would take a toll on them eventually. The path ahead is to develop the Sagittarian worldview of expansion and freedom rather than discipline and scarcity. Being spontaneous and enthusiastic about things is how the person will self-actualize. However, since the need is to stay within convention, there’s a bit of a conflict present. Ideally, the person would combine the need to achieve worldly success and the pull to live a life free of responsibilities and commitments in honor of the eternal spirit. If the person decides to follow the beaten path of prestige and societal approval, there might be an inner urge to break free from all restrictions and limitations. It might be wise to try and combine the desire to move and explore with a sense of responsibility – to seek to accomplish something ”worthwhile” according to convention while being bold and passionate about it. The inner compulsion to always aim high could pay off, or it could make the person stressed and unproductive. The Sagittarian Sun indicates that there should be an attempt of freeing energy, of overcoming the burden of judgement, of rooting for life rather than mechanical and dead materia. The Sagittarian philosophy is that life is supposed to be lived, not boxed in and deemed as unworthy because of superficial lack. All life is worthy, and there need not be any punishment that is implied by the apparent boundaries of structure. The person could have a hard time accepting a more liberal world-view for themselves that doesn’t define right and wrong so clearly. The Cap Moon is more or less tied to playing within the confines of structure, but with the Sagittarius Sun there’s the potential for introducing variety, a broader perspective and a more optimistic attitude. The structures aren’t set in place to enslave the human spirit, they should work for the expansion of all.

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Sagittarius Sun – Aries Moon

The warrior that strives to gain wisdom. The inborn personal attributes are that of force, competition and impulsiveness. The task is to mobilize these in order to actualize an identity of curiosity, independence and trust in a benevolent universe. The person might be quite aggressive in the pursuit of answers to the big questions in life, seeking challenge and confrontation with life as to test one’s capacity to prevail and conquer. There’s a lot of energy to this combo – and a lot of emphasis on independence. The person would first and foremost stand up for themselves and leave others to do the same. There’s little tolerance for dependence as quality in others and in oneself. Strength is always emphasized – this person has nothing to gain from acting meek and vulnerable. Anger and frustration is the most common response to things that stand in the way – whether it’s an opinion another person holds or of it’s a literal lack of support – confrontation is the immediate reaction. Even if the person is quick to aggression, it’s usually easily diffused and forgotten. These fire signs live in the moment and are not prone to hold grudges. That being said – they won’t back down and is set on furthering themselves in all that their doing – especially if they’re continually opposed. The Sagittarius Sun indicates that the person is supposed to seek knowledge and broaden their perspective through exposing themselves to variety of culture and thought-systems. Identity is found through sharing and consuming knowledge, through breathing life back into a world of stagnation. The Aries Moon jumps on every opportunity to excel and to be the best, providing a fighting spirit to the more casually bold Sagittarian Sun. The person would be prone to provoke people unnecessarily, always wanting to compete and lead the way. However, the expression of the fire signs is usually so direct and uncalculated that it comes off as pure, even though it’s fundamentally self-centered, At least, it is honest and relatively uncomplicated. The Aries directness further enhances the Sagittarian tendency to speak the truth no matter the cost. Not to mention, the Sagittarian proclivity to be scattered and all over the place is counteracted a bit by the simple and straight-forward Arien nature.

Sagittarius Sun – Aquarius Moon

This combo represents the peak of objective perspective. The person is emotionally separated from the irrational, moody and earthy human condition. One lives for potential and that which can be found beyond the horizon. There’s likely to be a restlessness and annoyance with the current society and other people’s limited perspective. Ordinary and mundane is so ”yesterday”, it’s a pity that one can’t be rid of the current unevolved existence and jump to the future without having to go through a long and process of unnecessary in-between states. The person is likely to be the type to hang out in the thought-scape rather than on the earth-plane. There’s a tendency to get bored very quickly and be a bit uninterested in idle conversation and interaction with other people who are light years behind in the progression of thought. The path for this person is to cultivate passion and inspired involvement in worldly knowledge – to read and educate oneself in order to get a more well-rounded picture of what it means to be alive. Sagittarius is all about spreading truth and connection to essence, while Aquarius is more about the fixed thought-based blueprint that dictates form. There’s a coolness to this person that is their fundamental nature – it’s not rooted in being but rather in becoming. Sagittarius is not cool but vibrant and alive, ready to interact with the variety of expressions of the universal spirit. The person’s task is to become through being, to find the face of self in all fleeting experiences and appreciate them as they come and go. There’s value in the brokenness, there’s beauty in the imperfect. The Aquarius Moon might have a hard time viewing life in this way, having to label and categorize and put things into context. It’s worth to consciously develop the capacity to perceive meaning in experiences, to connect to the intelligent source of life that is not found through perfection but underlying everything. There’s more to life than hacking the blueprint and getting things to work better, look better or feel better. There’s mysterious inner wisdom that is untamed and unbound, intelligently guiding one’s steps on the path of higher truth. To put in a word of caution, it might be tempting to view oneself as more important or superior than people with more primordial natures and simple minds. It’s true that people are different, but everyone plays a part in life however big or small.

Sagittarius Sun – Scorpio Moon

This is a freedom-lover, an explorer and an emotionally volatile individual. There’s a need to test, to push, to provoke while keeping all the vulnerable parts of oneself tucked away where they can’t be reached. The fundamental nature of this person is extremely sensitive to violation and feels things strongly. There’s an inner fear of being controlled or deceived to the point of paranoia. This is not to suggest that the Scorpio Moon radar is faulty and sees threat where there is none, it’s just that they can’t allow themselves to put their guard down. Ever. Through developing a Sagittarian individuality, there’s likely to be an increase in playfulness and chill, but at the core there’s always going to be suspicion. The person would want to promote the truth as a part of their individuality, to inspire and lift people’s spirits. However, the personal need for secrecy and privacy would present a contradiction. There’s an impulse to live out a destructive nature, to revel in powerful emotions and let people know that they shouldn’t be messed with. While the Sagittarian tendency is to view experiences from a ”higher perspective” of belief and philosophy, the Scorpio seeks to penetrate or be penetrated energetically. There are three choices in the book of Scorpio; being attacked, attack or hide. Although Sagittarius is bold and willing to take risks because there’s an attitude of optimism in everything they do, a proclivity to say things as they are and be honest, the person will not share things that can be used against them (if they can help it). The strength of these signs are very different, but they could potentially work together relatively successfully. The emphasis could be to make people aware of the power-holds and dishonesty that takes place underneath the surface layers of society and reality, to uncover and reveal things about others or oneself that grabs people’s attention and makes a statement. Transformation and truth is what this person is ultimately after and it could be pursued in all kinds of ways. It would be important to remember to keep the Scorpio paranoia in check and to be a little careful of boasting and inflating one’s ego unnecessarily. One has to show respect in order for other people to be willing to be respectful in turn. That being said, it is appropriate to call people out on their bullshit from time to time.

Sagittarius Sun - Taurus Moon

The path of self-actualization is to expose oneself to a variety of experiences while the personal need is to provide oneself with things of material value. The need to possess and have things be tangibly present in order to feel good doesn’t really go together with the realm of spirit. The Sagittarius Sun perceives the world in terms of higher truth – and it’s not an ultimate truth that a house provides stability. Yet, the person would need the material representation of safety and could not deny the importance of the physical realm. The development of the Sagittarian identity would take the person into the realm of abstraction rather than tangible perception. Life opens up and is more than  what needs to be done on a routine basis. The earthy and stubborn temperament would be balanced out by the desire to introduce new impressions and new experiences. The need for a solid ”living and working” situation would prevail, but the person would ultimately aim higher than that in terms of individuation. Some Sagittarius Suns would be content with exploring their interests in private, to explore fascinating topics that adds to their own life while other would have to venture out into the physical world – to smell, see and touch different countries, to be in the sensory experience of it all. Taurus is a very physical sign and would likely appreciate the concreteness of experiencing something in the flesh rather than as an abstraction. The ability to picture things vividly in the thought scape sometimes doesn’t come as easily to more earthy temperaments. This could make it difficult to get excited about something without actually being in the actual excitement. However, the Sagittarian Sun has the potential to provide a great intuitive and creative capacity. This combo could be indicative of a person that is keen on securing a predictable future and predictable present while not taking it all too seriously. Whatever happens, it’s fine. Life goes on and one can trust that things are going to work out – not that it’s going to fix itself but that one has the stubbornness and stamina to see things through. It also gives the person a willingness to not only be concerned with the material aspect of life, but to see meaning in experiences as they unfold and present themselves.

Sagittarius Sun – Leo Moon

Honoring oneself through living out inherent greatness is of utmost importance. The person needs to know that they are whole and magnificent without having to explore and expand through the experience of variety and diversity – however, they could use their knowledge and insight to enhance their authority. The person would feel as if they were blessed from birth with a specialness and a right to be admired and loved. The need to occupy space and claim a place of importance is pressing for this individual. Speaking their opinion, retelling stories and dwelling on the subject of one’s involvement in significant events would be typical. I make it sound as if it’s done in order to compensate for a sense of inferiority, and it could be, but often Leo Moons have a genuine air about them that is magical and captivating. The person would be inclined to dramatize their life, to demonstrate their radiance through everything they do. With a Sagittarius Sun, it would optimally be done through travel and the experience of culture, religion and ancient wisdom. Everything has to be profound and glorious with this person – grace and charm is what they embody without trying. What the person needs to develop throughout life is more of a casual nature, a broader perspective and a recognition of people’s sameness. Leo’s tendency is to enhance personhood and not be overly concerned with the universal spirit – the universal self. Sagittarius knows that the same life that is oneself is also found in the rest of the existence. By developing the Sagittarian identity, the person doesn’t have to tone themselves down and live as if their separate self wasn’t worth promoting. The person could sustain a sense of specialness and still acknowledge other people’s beauty and rightful participation in life. It would be wise to keep in mind that there’s a big risk to always assume that one is right. Although Sagittarius provide a sense of openness and willingness to adapt and blend in with the spirit of the location, Leo needs to claim and dominate the environment they’re in, the conversation they’re in. This doesn’t necessarily go over well if it’s done with arrogance– other’s would easily feel diminished and disrespected. However, if the person is more mature, this need to shine could be felt as a genuine, benevolent presence that makes other people comfortable.

#sagittarius #sagittarius sun #sagittarius moon #capricorn moon #aquarius moon #pisces moon #aries moon #taurus moon #gemini moon #cancer moon #leo moon #virgo moon #libra moon #scorpio moon #the archer #astrology #moon placements #sun placements #moon signs #sagittarian traits #zodiac signs #spirit #fire signs #fire sun #fire sun signs #water moon #fire moon #earth moon #air moon

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My Problem with Loki

Loki is a character beloved by many people. He has been for a decade now, although some people who read comics before the Marvel Cinematic Universe was a thing were fans of him long before the first Thor came out. Over the years since his appearance in that movie the character has gone through a lot of changes, evolving from a villain to an anti-hero both in the MCU and in the comics, the latter even killing off his original incarnation to reincarnate him in a younger body resembling Tom Hiddleston in the hopes that the comics could capitalize on his popularity in order to sell more books. That move, unfortunately, did not bear fruit, with Loki’s solo series being canceled after only five issues. However, Loki remained popular in the movies, so much so that when he was killed off in Infinity War, people were pissed.

As a result of his enduring popularity, Kevin Feige and company decided to give Loki his own solo series on Disney+ when the decision was made to create a string of MCU tie-in shows to supplement the movies, and boost subscription numbers to Disney’s new streaming service. Fans of the character rejoiced. Finally, our favorite character was going to be in the spotlight, and not be merely a supporting character for Thor and hopefully not a butt monkey for the Avengers like he was in the third act of the movie of the same name. WandaVision and The Falcon and The Winter Soldier had previously had well-received and successful debuts on that same platform, and it was hoped that Loki would do the same. Loki turned out to be the most successful of the Disney+ MCU shows that have come out so far, scoring highest in the ratings. As of this writing, it holds a 93% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes and an 8.5 on IMDb.

Those numbers, however, don’t reflect the entire audience and there were a lot of people who were not altogether happy with the product we received. Many people who had been hardcore fans of Loki since Tom Hiddleston first put on the horned helmet were not pleased, myself included.  

The show wasn’t all bad. It did set up the multiverse, introduced Kang, introduced Mobius. The special effects were outstanding, a lot of the gags were hilarious, and we did get some character development from Loki before the spotlight fell away from him and he became all about panting after the real main character...more on that in a few.  

So many things, however, were wrong.  

If you liked the show, thought it was perfect, and were a fan of the romance, that’s perfectly fine. There is no such thing as a wrong opinion on a work of fiction. Everyone has their interpretations, everyone has their likes and dislikes, and there is nothing wrong with liking the show. There is also nothing wrong with not liking the show. This is a concept that people on both sides of the debate fail to understand, and I have witnessed flame wars, harassment from individuals on both sides, harassment of creators on social media from both sides, and various bits of biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, and other assorted types of phobias on display. I have seen people accuse people who have different opinions on the show than them of “not being a true Loki fan” and stating that people who have certain interpretations of the character don’t “truly know Loki”.

I’m not here to do that, and I assure you, if you liked the show, that’s fine. You’re allowed to. I’m allowed to not like it, and I’m allowed to explained why I didn’t like it just as you’re allowed to explain why you did. As long as both of us are being respectful, expressing an opinion is good. There is expressing an opinion and offering constructive criticism, however, and then there is namecalling, trolling, and having a tantrum and accusing someone of being “aggressive” when they don’t share the same opinion you do.

There is a huge difference between saying “I find the character of Sylvie to be problematic, and here is why” and “I think fans of Sylvie are sick and need therapy”, and people need to learn the difference between the two. Unfortunately, you have people who have become very protective of their favorite characters and tend to take any criticism leveled at said characters personally. It’s basically “You don’t like them? Well then you don’t like me, and since you don’t like me, I don’t like you.” Which is, frankly, a dangerous mentality to have. We are talking about fictional characters, not real people, and there is no need to jump to the defense of someone who does not exist. It is those people who tend to demonstrate that they have unstable personalities and immaturity, and they are the ones I have started blocking on Twitter because, being an adult woman, I don’t have the patience to deal with immature nonsense like that.

So, if you read this and then decide you want to hunt me down to give me a piece of your mind, tell me that I’m not a “true” fan of Loki, and accuse me of whatever, don’t bother. This piece isn’t here for that. It’s here because I wanted to compile my thoughts and feelings in a way that would better for me to articulate. It’s more or less a venting mechanism, purely for my benefit. If someone else gets something out of it, fine. If the creators of the show happen to see it, which is very unlikely because A) I’m not exactly going to push it onto them on their social media to get them to read it and B) they already get bombarded with tons of opinions on the show on a daily basis and aren’t going to care about one more voice added to the mix, even one who has basically compiled a novel, then alright.

And it is a novel, because I have a lot to say about Loki. I have been a huge fan of the character since long before Tom Hiddleston began playing him. My first encounter with Marvel’s Loki came in the form of the X-Men comics, specifically The Asgardian Wars run. It’s available in trade, and you should check it out. I read that run when I was around 10 years old, and I enjoyed Loki as the bad guy in the two stories that make up the collection. The first has him creating a special wish fountain that has a monkey’s paw effect in that it imbues mortals with special gifts and powers, and has the potential to make Earth a better place, but at the cost of killing every magical person and being on Earth. The X-Men and Alpha Flight find out about this after a plane piloted by the wife of one of the X-Men happens to crash in the general location the fountain is located. The two teams go to investigate, Shaman and Snowbird who are both magical beings begin dying, it’s discovered Loki created the fountain in order to score brownie points with The Ones Who Sit Above In Shadow (a pantheon of deities who are basically the Gods to the Asgardians), and after a lengthy battle Loki is defeated, he shuts down the fountain under pressure from The Ones, and slinks back to Asgard with tail between his legs.

In the second story, set after the heroes of Earth had helped Asgard defeat Surtur, Loki’s attention is caught by Storm, who at the time was depowered. He kidnaps her and brings her to Asgard intending to use her to replace Thor as the Goddess of the Storm, and use her as a pawn to, what else, conquer Asgard and seize the throne.  

I really enjoyed Loki then, and felt sorry that he never appeared in any other X-Men story, not even in an issue of the New Mutants, and that team boasted an actual Valkyrie (Danielle Moonstar) as one of its members. I was a kid at the time and read pretty much exclusively X-Men since those were the books my father purchased for me. I never felt right about asking him for other books since we were a family with money struggles and I didn’t want to be more of a burden by requesting Thor or Avengers comics--that, and I just didn’t find Thor or the Avengers all that interesting at the time, a sentiment shared by a lot of people until the first Iron Man made us actually care about Tony Stark. I wouldn’t have an opportunity to start reading more comics featuring Loki until I was an adult and able to visit comic book stores on my own. I read several runs that featured him as a character, including Ragnarok, the Broxton, OK run where Loki first appeared as a woman, Dark Reign, and finally Siege. I also went back and read Walt Simonson’s legendary run on The Mighty Thor, which I highly recommend.  

Suffice it to say, I’ve been a fan of the character for a long time, and in fact when Tom Hiddleston was cast in the role for Thor, I remember thinking that he was too young. But then I figured it was Hollywood, of course they’re going to deage Loki so that he appears closer in age to his adopted brother in contrast to the comics pre-Siege where Loki was often drawn to look like he was as old as Odin and therefore could be Thor’s uncle or even father as opposed to brother.  

Over the years I grew to enjoy the MCU’s version of the character, enjoy Tom Hiddleston in the role, and like most other people was greatly saddened by his death in Infinity War. Like other fans, I looked forward to his solo series and had high hopes for it. Hopes that were, unfortunately, dashed.

It Was Rushed

In the MCU, it took Loki years to go from troubled young god, to villain, to ambivalent ally, to anti-hero, to hero. Literally, years. Months had passed between the end of Thor and the beginning of Avengers during which Loki endured who-knows-what at the hands of Thanos. We don’t know exactly what still. The Loki series didn’t answer that, I guess because they didn’t want to devote precious screentime to an interesting backstory for what was supposed to be the main character when they could focus on something else instead. That something else will be elaborated on.

In Episode 1, Loki is still the villain from Avengers, something he would have remained as into The Dark World. It would take him being in Asgard’s prisons for a year and then him accidentally getting his adopted mother Frigga killed in order for him to begin to do a heel-face turn. From this, we can clearly see that a transition from ax-crazy bad guy to anti-hero is not going to happen overnight. For this person I shall call Ragnarok Loki, it was a process that took time. He suffered a complete mental breakdown while in Asgard’s prison, a fragile emotional state that was compounded by the anger and massive guilt he felt at Frigga’s death.  

Even after that, he still hadn’t completely abandoned his villainous ways. At the end of The Dark World we find out that after faking his supposed death earlier in the movie, Loki has assumed Odin’s form and taken his place on Asgard’s throne. In Ragnarok, Loki is still sitting on the throne in Odin’s form, and shows no indication at all that he feels any remorse for giving his adopted father amnesia, stripping away his magic, and abandoning him on Earth to whatever fate he might meet. Loki remains a selfish bastard throughout Ragnarok until the third act, after Thor had treated him to a taste of his own medicine by sticking a taser on him and then giving him a speech about becoming predictable and complacent.  

Loki’s arc was one that spanned four movies and six years, since in-universe there were a couple of years between The Dark World and Ragnarok. That meant that his character development took actual time and was realistic. It was one of the things that drew people to the character, the fact that he had a very relatable and believable redemption arc.

Compare that to Episode 1. In less than a day he goes from being the Loki that we saw in Avengers, batshit crazy, selfish, callous, and untrusting, to making personal confessions to a man he had just met only a couple hours previously and agreeing to help the organization that had arrested, stripped, imprisoned, tried, and almost executed him.

What?

I will give the show this: In Episode 2, he shows that he’s still up to his old tricks when he feeds Mobius and the agents all that horsecrap about how a Loki works in the Ren Faire tent, and then revealing that he plans to take over the TVA when he confronts his variant in the futuristic Wal-Mart. The weeping confession to Mobius, that I can’t really get over. How do you go from haughty, arrogant, and “trust is for children and dogs”, to “I don’t enjoy hurting people” in just a couple of hours? The show never indicated that it was a manipulation tactic on Loki’s part. Instead, we were basically told to believe that they became friends just that fast. That emotionally stunted and closed-off Loki made a connection with another person in a matter of hours. Makes sense. Don’t get me wrong, I like Mobius and feel he makes a good foil for Loki. I hope to see more of him in the future. I just have a tough time finding their friendship all that believable.

This would not be the only relationship in the show that happened too fast that we were forced to just buy, which leads me to Sylvie.

She’s the variant that the TVA had been hunting, that Mobius recruited Loki to help capture. And while I normally hate it when people ascribe a certain label onto a new female character because reasons (ones that are usually misogynistic), I think it fits rather well in Sylvie’s case.

Enter The Mary Sue

Mary Sue is a term that gets thrown around a lot. To sum up the meaning in very simple terms, it refers to a character who is too perfect to be believable. Mary Sues are often author-self inserts in fiction, they’re usually the love interest for at least one male hero and it’s usually the male hero the author will admit to having a crush on, their scenes usually are presented much more descriptively than those of the other characters, the story will revolve around them often at the expense of the development and plots for the other characters of the story, and they’re presented as beautiful, powerful, intelligent, beautiful, special, strong, beautiful, and desirable. Yes, beautiful is on the list more than once, and it’s deliberate.

The term comes from an old Star Trek parody fanfic, and while it is usually applied to original characters in fan fiction, the term has been used to describe characters in canon media as well. Some examples of characters who have been described as Mary Sues would include Bella from the Twilight books, Felicity from the show Arrow, Jaenelle Angelline from Anne Bishop’s The Black Jewel novels, Sookie Stackhouse from True Blood, Rey from the last Star Wars trilogy, and Jean Grey from the X-Men comics. Note I do not necessarily agree that those characters are Mary Sues, I have merely heard these characters referred to as Mary Sues, and when I look at them objectively I can kind of see where the accusations come from. Some other terms that can apply are Creator’s Pet and of course Author Self-Insert. Not all Mary Sues are Author Self-Inserts, but a lot of them are. Also, not all characters who can be labeled Mary Sues are female, though they often are. The male version of a Mary Sue is called a Marty Stu, and a couple of characters I’ve seen get ascribed that label include Harry Potter, Daemon Sadi from Anne Bishop’s The Black Jewel novels, Edward from Twilight, and Red Hulk from Marvel Comics. Even Batman and Wolverine haven’t been immune from the Marty Stu stamp, although you can argue that it does apply in their cases especially depending on who’s writing them. Sometimes it is painfully obvious they are author self-inserts...the aforementioned Bella is a good example. Others, you can only speculate on. And while there are theories going around that Sylvie is someone’s self-insert, we don’t have definitive proof of that.

There are good arguments, however, for her being labeled a Mary Sue and Creator’s Pet.

First are her powers. In the show we are told that Sylvie taught herself magic, especially her ability to “enchant”, the power to get into the minds of others and manipulate them. The fact that she taught herself would indicate that her education and skill in using magic should be lacking, right? She should not be as good as, say, someone who learned magic from his foster mother who herself was taught by Asgardian witches?

Yet in the show, Sylvie not only runs circles around Loki magically wise, she even teaches him a few tricks. This is startlingly in contrast to the comics. Loki’s Sylvie is partially based on the character Sylvie Lushton from the Young Avengers, a bad guy who was once a normal girl whom Loki imbued with powers before his death at the hands of the Sentry during the events of 2010’s Siege storyline. In the comics, Loki not only gave Sylvie her powers, but he was the one who taught her how to use them. Now, of course things in the MCU are not going to follow the way things are in the comics. MCU Loki is nowhere near as old as comics Loki and has so far not demonstrated the ability to give other beings powers. And MCU Sylvie is a composite of Sylvie Lushton and Lady Loki, which is also problematic, but we’ll get to that.

But the point is that Sylvie had no training. Her magic is some improvised slapped-together stuff that at best she picked up here and there and at worst she just pulled out of her ass. Now, knowing that, we’re supposed to buy that she can mop the floor magically wise with someone who was formally trained by a sorceress? And that furthermore, she can school him as well?

To make up for her lack of experience and knowledge, Loki is nerfed. Power wise and intellectually wise, he is nerfed. In Thor and Avengers Loki is smart, well-spoken, and a master manipulator. At one point he is able to turn all of the Avengers against one another, and while his magic has never been anywhere near the level it was at in the comics pre-Siege (after his resurrection, he was powered down and is currently nowhere near the powerhouse he had been prior to 2011) he was able to pull off some impressive displays of skill nonetheless. Shape shifting, illusion casting, it was a good repertoire.  

In Episode 3, however...well, he does use teleportation to some impressive affect during his fight with Sylvie, but he still doesn’t get the upperhand. And he should. Loki is a better trained fighter, better trained in sorcery, and realistically should have at the least managed to incapacitate his variant. He doesn’t however, because the moment he meets Sylvie his IQ drops about 20 points. He falls easily for her tricks, makes laughable plans, gets drunk and draws too much attention when he knows that is a bad idea, and manages to get them both stuck on a moon that will soon be dust courtesy of the rogue planet about to crash into it. Loki has made some blunders in the various MCU movies he’s been in, mostly due to his own arrogance and tendency to underestimate his foes, but he’s not that stupid. In fact, in The Dark World he screams at Thor and calls him an idiot for drawing attention to themselves by hijacking an elven ship and crashing into every column and statue within a fifty-foot radius.

Where exactly is that smart, calculating, more careful Loki we know from the films? He’s been transformed and dumbed down, in an attempt to prop Sylvie up. It’s a tired trope, making the male character a dumbass in order to make the female character look good. Well, I should say male-presenting and female-presenting characters in this case, but their supposed gender fluidity really is not represented well and it’s completely contradicted later on, but we’ll get to that.

Anyway, making the male character stupid in order to make the female character look better by comparison is not empowering. It’s insulting. It implies that women are not smart or capable enough to meet men on equal footing, that the only way we can shine is not by virtue of our own strengths, but merely by making us look better than the men.

She doesn’t just outshine Loki intellectually and power wise, she outshines him period. The show from Episode 3 on becomes about Sylvie. She is the show’s main focus, and Loki? He’s relegated to the role of supporting character in the series that’s named after him. Supporting character, and love interest. From Episode 3 on, the show might as well be called Sylvie.

Now, some people will say that since Sylvie is a Loki, the show was indeed focusing on Loki. The problem is, the show is very inconsistent as to whether or not Sylvie really is a Loki or a different person entirely. I will explain more later, but the writers seem to change Sylvie’s identity to suit whatever narrative they want to present to the audience, including the pre-Pixar Disney romance they foist upon us.

The Romance, and why some find it gross

One major characteristic of the Mary Sue is that she always draws the romantic and sexual interest of the main male character, who may or may not be a Marty Stu himself. Oftentimes he’s not, and Loki does not fit the criteria of a Marty Stu by any stretch of the imagination. These romances always happen fast with little to no buildup. There is no what writers of romance call “slow burn”, it’s just throw Mary at the male character, hook them up, and get the audience to buy it. Basically, it’s reminiscent of the romance stories in the Classical Era Disney animated films. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella all fall madly in love with their princes within minutes of meeting them. There’s no getting to know each other, there is no preamble, there is no slow courtship, no real drama to speak of. It’s basically Love At First Sight or True Love. This trend continues even into the Disney Renaissance. In The Little Mermaid, Ariel is willing to make a deal with a witch to give up her fins for a prince she hasn’t even spoken to yet. He doesn’t even know she exists, and she leaves her home and family behind, gives up her voice, all for a mere shot at hooking up with him.

That’s not love, that’s lust. That’s hormones overruling your brain, and it’s an insulting trope, one that feminists have railed against for years. Disney has made a little progress. The movie Frozen took the mickey out of the Love At First Sight/True Love trope with the song “Love Is An Open Door” and the prince Anna wanting to marry turning out to be a major sleazebag who just wants to use her, but we still only have three Disney princesses (Elsa, Moana, and Merida) who have never had love interests and two (Anna and Rapunzel) whose love stories come close to being slow burns, out of 12 official Princesses. There’s still a long way to go, and boy is there a major step backwards in Loki.  

In Episode 3, Loki fights Sylvie and they end up on Lamentis 1. Sylvie spends a good portion of the time insulting and trying to kill Loki, and Loki finds himself having to defend himself from her. That changes once they get on the train going to the Arc. After sneaking aboard the train using a disguise and a flimsy story, the two Lokis sit in a booth, where Loki proceeds to drink champagne. It is then that, out of nowhere, the conversation shifts from how Sylvie learned her powers to the topic of love.

Why? Why would you bring that up in conversation with someone who was doing her best to kill you a couple hours prior?

Then Loki makes things worse by asking Sylvie if she has a beau waiting for her. Why? It doesn’t make sense. The two of you are at each other’s throats, she’s done her best to kill you, neither of you trusts the other, and, completely out of left field, you decide to basically ask “So...are you single?”

Now, enemies to lovers is a trope that can work when done right. Typically, it’s a very subtle, slow progression that the audience witnesses over time in a novel, movie or television series. Weeks and even months will go by in the narrative during which the two people go from wanting each other dead to developing feelings for one another. There’s usually a “will they, won’t they period” that lasts for some time that’s full of teases and flirting before the couple does hook up and gives the audience the resolution. Done in this way, enemies to lovers can work.

This...this is not the right way to do enemies to lovers. Within a couple of hours Loki and Sylvie go from hatred and doing their damnedest to stabbing one another in the backs, to having a connection that causes a nexus event?

By the way, that nexus event makes no sense. In Episode 2, it is established that it is impossible to create a nexus event in an apocalypse. It is why Sylvie was able to avoid capture by the TVA for so long. In fact, just minutes prior to the two of them almost dying in Episode 4, Sylvie flat-out says that she figured out that she needed to hide in apocalypses because she discovered she didn’t create a nexus event when she hid in them.

Now the two of them are able to create a nexus event in the midst of an apocalypse? Why? Their “connection” isn’t going to lead to any consequences...they were about to die. No one else need never have known about the “moment” the two of them shared. It’s very confusing and the only purpose it really serves is to paint Loki and Sylvie as soulmates, which doesn’t make sense in the context of the show. The concept of soulmates is that for every person, there is someone out there they are predestined to be with. Loki is a show that, at the core of it, is about rejecting predestination and embracing free will. In that context, the idea of soulmates is ludicrous and contradictory to the message that we make our own destiny. This is why True Love is unrealistic, and I hate to break it to you romantics out there, but Love At First sight does not exist.

Infatuation At First Sight exists, but that is not Love, no matter what your hormones are telling you. Love takes time to evolve, and it takes work to maintain. It sure as hell doesn’t happen after less than 12 hours of knowing each other, during which a huge chunk of time was devoted to trying to manipulate, outsmart, and murder the person you’re supposedly in love with. No one falls in love in less than 12 hours, period, unless it’s a Classical Era Disney animated movie. They basically turned Loki into a big Disney Romance trope. I have a very hard time buying that Loki, who we have established is emotionally stunted and closed off, would form a love connection in just a few hours, especially with someone who was doing her best to murder him in that timespan.

That is not the only reason this relationship is problematic. The term “Selfcest” has been thrown around, and a lot of defenders of this particular ship claim that the term was very recently made up in social media for the sole purpose of badmouthing this particular romance. That is not the case. Selfcest is a term that has existed among fiction writers for years, it’s just that more people have recently become aware of it thanks to this show. The trope has been used and referred to in various works of fiction, especially in fantasy and science fiction where cloning, alternative universes, and magic occur. A lot of the insults I get from people who can’t stand that I don’t like the romance basically go along the lines of saying selfcest doesn’t exist. No, it doesn’t...in reality. But this isn’t reality, is it? It’s fiction. It’s a fictional world where such a thing could be possible, and even in works where it’s not possible it’s often alluded to.

In A Song Of Ice And Fire, we have the infamous twincest relationship going on between Cersei and Jamie Lannister, and it is heavily implied that sleeping with her brother is the closest that Cersei can get to banging herself and that is why she does it. Jamie is basically everything she feels she should have been and was denied due to being born a woman. In fact, in later books when he reunites with her after having been away from King’s Landing for over a year, during which time he’s grown a beard and shaved his head, Cersei no longer finds him as attractive since they no longer look as much alike.

And with advances in cloning, selfcest might be possible in the future. We already have sex robots, and people with money are capable of making those robots look like themselves. There is nothing stopping them from doing it.

Knowing all of this, the argument of “selfcest doesn’t exist!” falls flat. And it especially falls flat when you’re referring to a fictional universe where a large purple man once killed off half the population of said universe with a snap of his fingers, where scientists turn into giant green monsters, the Norse gods not only exist but regularly interact with people on Earth, and there’s such a thing as a Sorcerer Supreme.

As I have said, the show has been rather inconsistent in stating what exactly Sylvie’s identity is. One moment, we are told Sylvie is a Loki and that she and Loki are the same person. Mobius says it, Kang says it multiple times, Judge Renslayer says it, the director and the writers state it in interviews. But then in the next breath, they contradict it by saying that she’s not a Loki, she’s Sylvie and a different person.  

You can’t have it both ways. Which is it? Either she’s a Loki, or she’s not. The narrative is very confusing and it changes depending on how they want us to see Sylvie, especially in relation to her romance with Loki. It’s so much easier to avoid the selfcest/incest accusations when you can say they are different people. But then they say they’re the same person. Make up your minds!

Since the show first established that Sylvie is a Loki, I’m going with that. Especially since we saw a bit of her backstory. She grew up in Asgard as a member of the royal family, which means she had Odin as a father, Frigga as mother, and Thor as brother. She may or may not have the same DNA as Loki. We never got confirmation either way, and there are people who argue that they don’t to which I have to ask: How do you know? The show never tells us! “Oh, well, there’s Alligator Loki, are you going to say he has the same DNA as well?” Well, we are never told how exactly Alligator Loki came to be. Is he actually an alligator, or is he Loki who somehow got permanently stuck when he shapeshifted? People tend to forget that he can do that. Ragnarok established that he can turn into a snake, and a deleted scene actually had the childhood story go that Loki turned into a rug to cover a hole in the ground and then dumped Thor into it. There is the scene where Doctor Strange drops Loki through a portal, and Thor is left poking at a business card, and it is clear that for a moment he thinks that Loki turned into that. We know Loki can shapeshift, so Alligator Loki can very well have the same DNA. We just don’t know, because the show never explains it for the same reason the show cut out the scenes with Throg fighting Loki...to devote more screentime to Sylki.

Even if they don’t have the same DNA, it’s still established that they are the same person, they have the same family, they’re both the God/dess of Mischief, and even Sylvie herself acknowledges that she is a Loki despite the fact that she changed her name. So selfcest very much applies here, and a good argument can be made that selfcest is the ultimate in incest...after all, there isn’t anyone else you’re more related to than yourself. It is very understandable, therefore, that a lot of people would be very, very uncomfortable with such a relationship. Having the same DNA would merely be the icing on the very gross cake.

Furthermore, just because selfcest does not exist in reality does not mean someone can’t find the concept distasteful. “It’s not real!” “It’s just fiction!” Yes, and people are allowed to have their own feelings and opinions on fiction. If they find the idea of selfcest hard to stomach, that’s their prerogative and you really have no right to tell them they are wrong for feeling that way. They should not have to justify to anyone why they feel that way either. No one owes you an explanation for why they find real world incest or cannibalism distasteful, so they don’t owe you an explanation for this.

“Well, of course Loki would fall for himself...he’s a narcissist!” Is he though? Is he really? Having dealt with my fair share of narcissists in my life, I have to wonder if the fans who say that, along with the writers, know what a narcissist really is.

Is Loki a narcissist?

Bringing up Cersei Lannister again, the novels she appears in establishes that she is an extreme narcissist. She sleeps with her twin brother because it’s the closest she can come to sleeping with herself, and she desires to do that because she is a narcissist. A narcissist is someone whose personality is defined by an inflated sense of self-importance, troubled relationships, lack of empathy for others, and an excessive deep-seated need for attention and admiration. It’s a very simplistic definition, and there are plenty of YouTube videos devoted to delving into narcissists into more depth, as well as videos on how to cope with the aftermath of abuse at the hands of narcissists. Narcissists are so devoted to themselves that they ignore the needs and the feelings of those in their lives, which often results in abusive behavior. There are entire support groups that exist for victims of narcissists.

At first glance, one can see why some might consider Loki a narcissist. He does engage in some pretty selfish behavior, he goes to great lengths to get attention, his relationships to his family are indeed fraught with drama, and he seems to have a pretty overinflated ego. He even goes so far as to write a play featuring himself as the central character, and build a giant golden statue of himself after taking over Asgard in the guise of Odin. But really, is his ego truly that big? Or he is overcompensating for his self-hatred and self-disgust?

Loki suffered quite the emotional blow when he found out his true heritage, a revelation that shook him to his very core. Of course, his relationship with his father suffered as a result...the man lied to him for his entire life. Their relationship really was not that great even before that since Odin found it easier to relate to Thor, who was more like him in personality, than to Loki, who was more cerebral and quieter. Loki’s relationship to Frigga fared much better. He’s quick to forgive her involvement in covering up the truth about his parentage, and it is obvious that they are close. Even his relationship with Thor prior to the events of the movie is not all that bad, the two brothers are affectionate and playful, and when Loki interrupts Thor’s coronation, it’s not just for the sake of creating trouble, but to postpone Thor taking the crown for another little while because he is not fit to rule. At the time Thor had yet to go through his character development arc on Earth and he was still an overly arrogant, bloodthirsty, elitist douchebag, so Loki really had a good point.

A true narcissist would have done what Loki did just for the sake of making life difficult for Thor. Also, he would have done it because he wanted the throne. Loki states repeatedly that he never wanted to rule. A true narcissist would have been all smiles about taking the throne instead of being reluctant about it as Loki was when Frigga handed him Gungnir.

Throughout the films, and in the first episode of the series, we see that Loki does indeed love his family and is capable of feeling guilt over the things that he does to them, intentionally or not. Narcissists typically don’t feel remorse. As far as they are concerned, they are perfect and can do no wrong, so they have nothing to feel bad about. If they hurt you, it’s because you deserved it. You shouldn’t have provoked their ire.

Loki feels bad for getting Frigga killed, and then later on Odin. Then he is in tears when Odin dies, and later at the mere thought of never seeing Thor again when the two brothers talk in an elevator on Sakaar. Those are not the actions of someone who is incapable of loving anyone but himself, as I’ve seen so many people claim about him. And the fact that he sacrificed himself to save his brother also kind of kills the whole “narcissist” narrative.

In Episode 1, Loki breaks down and confesses to Mobius that he doesn’t like hurting people. He does it because it’s part of the façade, and admits that he sees himself as weak. A few episodes later, he admits to a memory illusion Sif that he craves attention “because I’m a narcissist” and admits to being afraid of being alone. That is far more self-reflection than a typical narcissist is capable of in my experience. As I said, narcissists tend to think they are perfect. A true narcissist would never admit to having any flaws, and sure as hell would never admit that they are a narcissist. As far as the true narcissist is concerned, if you find them flawed in any way, that’s on you. The narcissist has no need for self-reflection because they honestly see nothing wrong with themselves, and believe that they don’t need to change...it’s everyone else who does.

A good real-life example from my past is a former friend I’ll call D. D was a self-proclaimed brat who was quite proud of the fact that she could be difficult to be in a relationship with and tended to go through men like tissue paper. She was demanding, self-centered, extremely jealous, manipulative, and prone to wild mood swings. She could and did go from zero to insane at the drop of a hat. In the time I knew her, she left a string of burnt guys behind, and according to her it was because they just weren’t man enough to handle her. She also left behind a string of broken former friends, to the point where there really needed to be a support group for former friends of D who suddenly had her turn them into Public Enemy Number 1 when they either started taking attention away from D, or...well, that was it really. As I said, she was a very jealous person and had a chronic need to be the center of attention, especially if there were men around. Anyway, instead of working on herself to become less self-involved, self-absorbed, and more empathetic, she double downed on her abrasiveness and constant need for attention until she finally wore the poor man down and he either ghosted her or outright dumped her. She never broke up with them, preferring to keep them around for as long as they were willing in order to toy with them as a cat does with a mouse.  I tried to talk to her about her horrible behavior, but instead of taking my constructive criticism and maybe using it to make some needed changes, she completely turned on me and did her best to make my life hell until I finally cut her out of it. I learned two things: Narcissists don’t want help because they don’t feel they need it and they are never going to change as a result, and never, ever try to confront a narcissist. It’ll only end badly.  

A more famous example? Former US President Donald Trump. I won’t get into that, because really all you need to do is perform a quick Google search to see what all he’s done and witness his narcissism on full display. But really, place him side by side with Loki. Do you see any similarities at all? Maybe on the surface, but when you go deeper...no. Loki is not a narcissist. He’s capable of deep self-reflection, owns his faults, is capable of loving others, and feels remorse. I would argue that anyone who says he is a narcissist, either does not know the character, or hasn’t ever actually dealt with a narcissist in real life, to which I can only say: Lucky you.  

I honestly would argue that calling Loki a narcissist is actually doing a disservice to victims of abuse from actual narcissists.

What about Sylvie? Well, in contrast to Loki who does show remorse while Mobius is playing that “This Is Your Life” reel for him, Sylvie shows no remorse or regret. She knows that the TVA agents she kills are as much victims as she is. They are innocent variants who were kidnapped from Earth and forced to work for the TVA after having their memories wiped. She knows this, yet the first time we see her she burns a bunch of TVA agents alive, and she just stands there watching as they scream in agony. In the next episode she says right out that she’s “having some fun” while possessing the body of C-90 and murdering more agents. She is not at all sorry about doing what she did, and we’re supposed to be understanding since she was kidnapped as a child. Okay, but the entire TVA didn’t do that. The agents she kills didn’t personally kidnap her. The only one we see who was directly involved in that is Renslayer. Sylvie “did what she had to do”, fine. But she doesn’t feel bad about it, at all. The flashback to her as a child takes great pains to try to show us what a good person she is when she cries out “Help him!” as another prisoner is being beaten, but I guess she grew out of it.

We don’t know if Sylvie has any other narcissistic traits besides lack of remorse because, well, the show really doesn’t do much to show her personality. Other than killing people, trying to kill Loki, and then flirting with Loki, we just don’t really see much to her. It’s another trait of a Mary Sue. Mary Sues often have bland, one-dimensional personalities. After all, their only purpose is usually to serve as love interests for one or more male characters. Mary Sues break the “show, don’t tell” rule by having the other characters verbally inform us about their traits, usually while singing their praises, but we don’t actually see those traits in the Mary Sue herself.

Loki calls Sylvie “amazing”, but how amazing is she, really? She kills people she knows are victims, she endangers the timeline just to sneak into the TVA, and then she kills Kang despite knowing that there is a very good chance that doing so could unleash something far, far worse than him. Then again, it doesn’t have to make sense when you’re pushing an unwanted and unasked for romance on an audience who was expecting a scifi show, not a romance.

I have spoken in a few places about this. Romance is fine, but in a show that blatantly places itself in the scifi genre, it really should only be the background, not center stage. When I expressed this opinion, I got accused of being dismissive of an essential part of the human experience. Well, first of all, congratulations: You just invalidated the existence of people on the asexual and aromantic spectrums, not to mention people who are celibate by choice. Second, that is why we have the romance genre. To tell stories centered around romance. I like romance, I read romance novels, and I sometimes write romantic fiction. But there are some places where it just is not appropriate.

There are people who say that adding romance makes things more interesting. Nope, in those cases it’s just a smokescreen, something used to hide plot holes and distract us from just how empty the story really is. Writers like to say that if you need a romance to make things more interesting, then you really don’t have much of a story in the first place. And sadly, Loki does have some plot holes. The nexus event on Lamentis is a good example, and the romance is definitely used to distract us from that. People were so focused on “oh wow, they’re having a moment, they’re soulmates!” that they didn’t think “waitaminute...didn’t they say that nexus events can’t occur in apocalypses?”

We really did not need a romance in Loki. Period. It was unnecessary, it was distracting, a lot of people found it disturbing, and it actively hurt a marginalized group.

Loki Is A Queer Icon!...maybe

I am not going to say that the relationship between Loki and Sylvie is not a bisexual one. A bisexual relationship is a bisexual relationship regardless of whether or not the person the bisexual person is with is the opposite sex. Saying otherwise is biphobic. Biphobic people in both the straight and the queer communities have been excluding bisexual people who happen to be in opposite sex relationships for years because apparently one stops being bisexual once they get into a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. This is horseshit. I’ve been in relationships with CIS men, did I stop being attracted to other men, women, nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, and other genderqueer people? No. No, I didn’t, because while I was entangled, I was not dead. Heterosexual people don’t stop being attracted to other members of the opposite sex when they are in relationships, it’s no different with queer people.

So, stop saying that Loki and Sylvie are not a bisexual relationship. You’re not doing us any favors at all, and in fact you’re only helping the biphobes who want to kick us out of Pride and other queer spaces for daring to date members of the opposite sex.

I will address the “Bit of both” line however. In Episode 3, Loki has that response to Sylvie’s questioning about whether there had been any would-be princesses or princes in his life. Again, a conversation that comes out of nowhere. She stated outright that she didn’t trust him, clearly wanted him dead, and now she’s asking if he’s single. Whatever.

Anyway, people went nuts when Loki answered “A bit of both”. It was confirmation that Loki was bisexual, it was celebrated on social media...and it is really biphobic and Kate Herron, who is bisexual herself, really should have known better.

Biphobic people have long tried to sow division between the bi and trans communities (unsurprisingly, biphobia and transphobia tend to go hand-in-hand) by saying that the concept of being bisexual is transphobic. “Bi” means two, ergo bisexual people are only attracted to two genders, specifically CIS men and CIS women. It never occurs to anyone that the “two genders” a bisexual person could be attracted to could be, say, women (and yes, I include trans women in that, since they are in fact women, get over it) and non-binary people, or agender and gender-fluid people, it’s always CIS men and CIS women. This despite the fact that the definition of bisexual has been “attraction to more than one gender” since long before the Bisexual Manifesto was put out in 1990.

Some people have tried to remedy this by adopting the moniker of “pansexual” instead, which A) is basically reinforcing what biphobes are saying about bisexuals and creating even more division and B) doesn’t just mean “attraction to trans people as well, I’m not transphobic, I promise!” “Pansexual” is not interchangeable with “bisexual”. Pansexual is attraction to all genders. Bisexual means attraction to more than one gender, but not necessarily to all genders. You can have a bisexual person, for instance, who is attracted to all genders except for men. If you are attracted to more than one gender, but not to all genders, you are bisexual, and labeling yourself pansexual is lying and basically caving in to the biphobes.

I’m not trying to police what people call themselves...if you want to use the two terms interchangeably, if you want to call yourself bisexual, or pansexual, it’s fine. But just evaluate the reasons why. Are you calling yourself pansexual because you really think you can be, or are you just calling yourself that out of fear of being labeled transphobic? The latter, in my opinion, is not a really good reason, and it only helps deliver the biphobic message that bisexual people are transphobic.

So, by saying “a bit of both”, Loki is really helping to reinforce that biphobic assertion that bisexual people are attracted just to CIS men and CIS women. It’s disappointing, but it is Disney so I suppose that is the best we can expect for now. It just shows that Disney really has a long way to go.

What’s more problematic is the supposed genderfluid representation. Now, I am a CIS woman. As such, I feel unqualified to really say that the representation is shitty and fluidphobic. However, if I’m not qualified to say that it is, then Kate Herron and the writers are unqualified to say that it isn’t. Rule of thumb: If members of a marginalized group are telling you that you did a poor job of representing them and that you are being transphobic or fluidphobic, instead of ignoring and dismissing their concerns like a good portion of the population already does, it’s a really good idea to listen to what they are saying and learn how you can do better.

There have been some genderfluid and trans people who expressed that they liked the show, and good for them. But I have seen a lot of very valid criticisms and concerns from genderfluid and trans people about the representation on the show, and I think they really should be listened to. Kate, you and I are queer, but we are still CIS women. Ergo, we have no say in whether or not the way you attempted to present Loki’s gender fluidity is transphobic. If genderfluid people say it’s fluidphobic or trans people say it’s transphobic, then it is indeed fluidphobic/transphobic. To say otherwise is gaslighting a marginalized community who already faces gaslighting on a daily basis.

I will touch on a couple of things.

First, in Episode 5, Loki asks a bunch of his variants if they have ever encountered a female version of themselves, a question that is met with varying levels of incredulousness and even disgust. If Loki was truly genderfluid, this question wouldn’t have been asked. Genderfluid means the person shifts genders along the spectrum. Loki does this in the comics. Comicbook Loki switches between masculine and feminine presenting on the drop of a dime, especially in his current incarnation. Loki in the MCU we are told is also genderfluid, and should also be able to hop along the gender spectrum on a whim. There should not be a “female variant” therefore, since they are all the same gender. There could be a female presenting variant, but that is not the same thing. They would still be all genderfluid in that case. Also, Sylvie’s nexus event would not have been “being born the Goddess of Mischief”. Okay, the show never actually says that is the nexus event that led to her being arrested, but it heavily implies it. If Sylvie is a Loki, and as a Loki is genderfluid, her being the “Goddess” of Mischief should never have been an issue since they can change genders anyway.

Second, making Lady Loki a separate person is problematic. A lot of genderfluid people felt that this move invalidated their identity by basically showing that the same person cannot indeed be different genders along the spectrum. I don’t feel I’m totally qualified to really get into this. I will just say that if you’re going to write a genderfluid character, maybe at least get an actual genderfluid person to advise in the writing room.

Third, there is a transphobic movement called trans exclusionary radical feminism. You might have heard of it. Unfortunately, it is a very widespread movement that has done a lot of harm to the trans community, successfully blocking funding to organizations that help trans people, blocking laws that would benefit trans people, and the movement includes celebrities like Graham Linehan and JK Rowling.

One of the weapons they like to use against trans women is the concept of “autogynephilia”. It is basically the sexual fetish of becoming aroused from thinking of oneself as a woman.  Many, many of these transphobic “feminists” love to say that trans women are merely men who have this particular sexual fetish.

It’s bullshit of course. Maybe there is a small segment of the male population that has that fetish, but trans women are not included in that. For trans women, things like dressing as women, changing their names, having state and federal issued IDs that say they are female, and being able to use the restrooms and change rooms that match the gender they actually are as opposed to the one they were assigned at birth is not a matter of sexual arousal. It’s a matter of making their external realities match their internal ones. It’s a matter of validation of their identities as women. Sexual gratification has nothing to do with it.

Now, Loki is not trans, but genderfluid people do tend to fall under the trans umbrella. We have Loki, a supposedly genderfluid individual and masculine presenting, falling head over heels in love with a feminine presenting version of himself. Maybe it’s just me, but it just seems like a form of autogynephilia to me.

Way to go, Kate...you just gave the TERFs more ammo.

One more note: At one point, Kate tweeted a list of the different Loki emojis, and “jokingly” included #FiretruckLoki with an emoji of a firetruck. Kate, you do realize that a “joke” transphobes love to harp on is that they can identify as an attack helicopter, right?

It’s his way of learning self-love!

That is not how you learn self-love.

First, the people who are making this argument often contradict themselves by then saying that Sylvie is a different person. Again, make up your minds. Either Sylvie is the same person as Loki, or she’s not. You can’t have it both ways, and you can’t continue to change the narrative to fit whatever it is you want to shove down the audience’s throats.

Second, romantic love and self-love are two different things entirely. Loki isn’t feeling self-love with Sylvie, he’s feeling romantic love. That’s not learning self-love. That's narcissism, and it’s character regression in his case. He’s supposed to be evolving past being a self-centered, egotistical shitweasel, and falling in love with a variant of himself makes him, as Mobius put it, “a seismic narcissist”. It’s not character development.  

Third, this argument tends to come in the same breath as saying that Loki is a narcissist so of course he would fall for a variant of himself. If Loki is a narcissist though, why would he need to learn self-love? Narcissists already love themselves, that is the very definition of the word. If Loki needs to learn self-love, that would imply that he actually hates himself, which is the opposite of narcissism. Again, the writers and the fans who make these arguments when they feel the need to defend this relationship need to make up their minds. Either he’s a narcissist and therefore already loves himself too much, or he hates himself and needs to learn to love himself. It’s once again changing the narrative to fill a plothole.  

Fourth, the whole learning self-love and trust narrative is completely thrown out the window in Episode 6 when Sylvie decides to toy with Loki’s emotions, using his feelings for her against him by kissing him as a distraction so she could grab Kang’s temp pad and toss Loki back to the TVA. To Sylvie, her revenge was more important than the bond she had with him. The move basically set Loki’s progress back several steps. What little progress he made anyway.

TL:DR, is there hope for Season 2?

Whew, this went on for a while, didn’t it? Told you I had a lot to say.

As I have said, if you liked the first season of Loki and think I am completely full of shit, that’s fine and it’s your prerogative. More power to you.  

But, and this is a huge but, that does not give you the right to harass and bully people who did not like it.

I have witnessed horrible things from both sides of the now split Loki fandom on social media. Harassment and even death threats towards the creators. Telling people who don’t like the Loki and Sylvie relationship that they need to drink bleach. Homophobic attacks. Gatekeeping.  

There’s constructive criticism and sharing your opinions, and then there is...this.

Both sides need to chill.

Anyway.

Even though Kate Herron has left the show, Michael Waldron is still the showrunner and as such I am not altogether optimistic for Season 2. I would like to see more emphasis on Loki himself for that season. Yes, it’s a novel thought, wanting a show that is called Loki to actually be about Loki, but here we are.

I would like to see actual character development in Loki rather than the old “true love transforms bad boy and conquers all” trope. There is a reason Disney has started to abandon that trope in their animated movies. They’ve been getting dragged about it for decades.

If Sylvie must return, there needs to be some actual consistency surrounding her character. The show needs to decide if she is a Loki or not and stick with whichever one they decide. And seriously, no more romance. Frankly, after what she pulled in Episode 6, I will be severely disappointed if the writers have Loki crawling back to her. That would make him pathetic, and Loki deserves better.

Really, Loki does not need a romance, period. He’s too emotionally immature, he has a lot of character growth to go through, and a romance would do nothing but be a distraction and an impediment to that growth. Anyone who got married too young can confirm that it is important to learn more about yourself and figure yourself out before you even think of getting involved with another person, who should not be your whole world. The Loki and Sylvie romance was reminding me of Classic Disney in another not-good way in that the two of them, especially on Loki’s side, were starting to revolve around one another and that does not make for a healthy relationship. Again, turning Loki into a Disney Prince (or, seeing as how he’s supposed to be genderfluid, Princess). Stop it.

Again, the romance was a smokescreen. It was a distraction from just how thin the plot was. Please, for the love of G-d, give more focus to the actual plot.

Do some research and talk to some psychologists for healthy ways Loki can “learn self-love" and develop as a character. If Ragnarok Loki can do it without relying on a romance with a variant with himself, then surely TVA Loki can pull it off.

Speaking of talking to people, listen to the concerns of the trans and genderfluid fans. Listen, talk to them, maybe get a couple in the writer’s room. CIS people should not write genderfluid people, and this season is a good example of why.

Please remember that Loki is not an idiot. Yes, he has pulled some fast ones and hasn’t been the greatest planner, but he is not downright stupid like he was in season 1.

And...really that’s all I have. As I have said, this thesis really wasn’t about making suggestions to the creators because I seriously doubt they will ever even see this. This was more less me screaming into the void, venting because I was that upset about what I saw as character assassination happening to one of my favorite characters. Keeping all of this in was proving to be bad for my blood pressure.  

I am attached to the character, have been for years. Loki is just one character in the MCU who I love, who I want to see done right. I had been looking forward to his solo series for a very long time, and the disappointment I felt was something that I just couldn’t keep in. I kept my mouth shut when they killed off Tony Stark for no reason other than that Ronnie Downey, Jr. didn't want to renew his contract. I didn’t say anything at the Russo Brothers’ “happy ending” for Steve Rogers, even though I feel it made no sense and is a massive plot hole.  

What they did to Loki, however...I couldn’t keep silent.

#loki series negativity #anti sylki

[hafanforever]

The Men with Two Faces

When Frozen was released almost seven years ago, I fell in love with it and the love hasn’t stopped since, especially with the following of Frozen Fever, Olaf’s Frozen Adventure, and last year’s Frozen II. I am very proud to be in this fandom and have enjoyed expressing my love for it by writing analyses about them, and my friends and followers can rest assured I will never stop doing it, especially as long as there is more material for me to discuss! 😁😁😁

One of the reasons I fell in love with Frozen was because of Hans and the fact that he was a surprise villain. Disney introduced him by making us think he was another typical heroic prince: benevolent, noble, brave, caring, selfless, and kind. Hans tells Anna that he is the youngest of 13 sons from the kingdom of the Southern Isles, and in being the youngest, he has apparently faced ignorance, neglect, and abuse from most of his brothers, if not his entire family. But then in the third act, we discover that Disney had purposely misled all other characters, and even the audience, about who Hans really is. He reveals himself as a truly ruthless, sadistic, dishonest, power-hungry, selfish, two-faced sociopath whose only goal is to become king and gain the status, power, admiration, and respect he apparently never received from his family, and would never gain as the 13th heir of the Southern Isles. So he plotted to take control of Arendelle by marrying into the throne. He initially wanted to marry Elsa just because she was the oldest and rightful heir, which would give him a legitimate chance to become king. However, he decided to pursue and marry Anna when he realized that Elsa was an antisocial recluse, and planned to kill Elsa to get her out of the way and rise to power with him as king and Anna as his queen.

When I first saw Frozen, I was very shocked that Hans was the true villain, though at the same time, there were a few moments that made me suspicious of him. After seeing the film a few more times, I realized there were subtle clues of his villainy in many of his preceding scenes, so his villainous revelation did not come totally out of the blue. But Disney using the twist and idea of having a hidden main antagonist, one that was a prince, who is stereotypically a heroic character in fairy tales, no less, was something I very much enjoyed about Frozen because it was something so new, different, unexpected, and very unique, particularly for a Disney fairy tale.

When I saw Frozen II, I wasn’t expecting it to have a villain, hidden or not, since the trope of surprise villains by Disney, which started with Wreck-It Ralph, had been waning and it was getting easier for me to figure out who they were. Needless to say, when Runeard was revealed to be the film’s main antagonist, I was very shocked. I wasn’t shocked in the same way I was when Hans revealed himself to be an evil prince, but for different reasons. For one thing, Runeard only appears on screen as a living character during Agnarr’s story about the Enchanted Forest in the prologue, then as a snowy ice figure Elsa discovers in Ahtohallan years after his death. He has the shortest time on screen than any other villain in the Disney animated canon, yet Runeard also has a major effect on the film’s plot. He is one of the few Disney animated villains who affects the flow of the story from the very beginning, and is rather unique in doing so because he is a POSTHUMOUS main antagonist, the first one from Disney animation. In fact, Runeard is the Greater-Scope Villain of the Frozen franchise as his heinous actions against the Northuldrans not only led to the main events of Frozen II, but also to what became of his bloodline and what led to the events of Frozen. The fact that Runeard has such a short time on screen while simultaneously impacting so much to the story makes his actions even worse than those of Hans.

While the revelation of Runeard being the main villain has received mixed reception from fans and critics like that of Hans did, I can still focus more on the positive about the former’s villainy than the negative. Heck, when you look at both films and both of their main villains, Runeard and Hans actually have quite a lot in common, even though Runeard is far less developed as a character and has a much shorter amount of time on screen than Hans.

Both are monarchs who present themselves as kind, generous, noble, charismatic, benevolent people to the public, while in private, they reveal that are really nothing but cold, obsessive, ruthless, sadistic, two-faced men who are successful in concealing their true dark natures in order to gain the trust of others for their own selfish interests and benefits. In fact, when they make their first appearances in their respective movies, Hans and Runeard wear their benevolent masks when they meet with people, and both are wearing gloves as they do so.

Both prove themselves to be very competent rulers of Arendelle (though Runeard was a true king of Arendelle while Hans briefly acted as its reigning monarch in both Elsa and Anna’s absence), and are kind and generous towards the people of whom they are in charge. In truth, however, both they are very power-hungry individuals who do not care for anything except the power they have/crave, and are willing to do whatever it takes, including treachery and murder, to get what they want and expand their power.

Both have brief scenes in which they reveal their true colors to a single person and sadistically smile as they explain how the plans they have set in motion will be carried out and satisfy their ruthless, selfish desires. The difference between them is that Hans reveals his secret to Anna as he indirectly attempts to murder her, while Runeard reveals his secret to his second-in-command and doesn’t try to murder him (though he apparently instilled fear into the officer and swore him to secrecy over the true purpose of the dam’s construction).

Both plan to kill people who they see as being in their way and a threat to their goals. They sneak up on their victims when they (the victims) are seated on the ground (Hans on Elsa, Runeard on the Northuldra leader) and raise their swords over the victims’ heads, ready to murder them. As I said in “Striking Resemblances”, the difference between both moments is that while Hans failed to kill Elsa due to Anna’s intervention, Runeard succeeded in killing the Northuldra leader because no one else was around to witness and intervene.

And while it’s not part of their characters and actions within the movies, both mens’ true natures were kept a complete secret from viewers prior to the release dates of their respective films, especially during promotional material. Hans was labeled as “The Nice Guy” in the first theatrical trailer for Frozen, while Runeard was completely omitted from pre-release storybook merchandise, and Jeremy Sisto was revealed as the voice of the character for the first time at the world premiere of Frozen II.

The fact that Runeard killed the leader of the Northuldra while Hans didn’t kill Elsa suggests that Runeard is potentially a darker example of what Hans could have easily become if he had succeeded in his goal to kill both sisters and become king of Arendelle. But in the months since Frozen II came out, another possibility on how Runeard is suggested to be a darker reflection of Hans, with the former having succeeded in the past where Hans failed in the present, has been suggested by fans. As I’ve said before, Runeard was the founder and first king of Arendelle. Prior to this accomplishment, perhaps like Hans, he was once a prince who was overlooked and neglected by his family, and he craved power, respect, and admiration after having never received them from his family and/or the majority of his kingdom. Or perhaps Runeard was just a commoner, a poor nobody who still craved power and respect after never having received it, or even anything fine and desirable, in his life...and he ended up getting what he wanted when he created his very own kingdom and was proclaimed its king. AND when he became king, Runeard was set on expanding as well as protecting his power, with his only concern being his own status as a monarch.

Runeard and Hans both have underdeveloped backstories as villains and what makes them as such, even though it feels easier to figure out that of Hans based on what he does reveal to Anna. But considering how much they do have in common, perhaps Runeard WAS once in the same position Hans used to be, and he managed to succeed where Hans did not. With all we do know about them, though, Runeard appears to be far more evil and despicable than Hans, given his bigoted, judgmental, paranoid, hateful behavior towards the Northuldra and the magical spirits and his actions against them.

Hans briefly gets his chance of being a leader when he takes over as temporary ruler of Arendelle in both Elsa and Anna’s absence. He successfully wins the hearts of the Arendellians by acting as a kind, caring, benevolent ruler during the harsh conditions brought on by Elsa’s magical winter. The fact that he earned the trust and respect of the Arendellians and acts very competent as a ruler suggests that Hans really could have been a very good king. However, as I said in “Tyrant Terror”, while Runeard was revealed to be a ruthless, power-hungry, obsessive king in secret, he used the same kind of benevolent mask that Hans used when he appeared in public. Runeard apparently was also very competent as a ruler since he knew how to run the kingdom while pretending to be a noble leader to the public. He led the citizens, the guards, and the castle staff on to believe that his kind facade was his true nature.

Because getting power and respect for himself was all that both men ever really cared about, I have absolutely no doubt that, had he succeeded in stealing Arendelle’s throne, Hans also would have become the same kind of secretly ruthless, power-hungry, selfish tyrant that Runeard was before him.

Now the biggest difference between Hans and Runeard’s villainy is what motivates them to carry out their evil plans. Runeard seeks to destroy the Northuldra because they have ties to magic, something he detests, fears, and towards which he holds bigotry, since he believes it to be a threat to his royal rank and authority. The fact that the Northuldra are peasants who follow magic rather than a government ruled by a king is also how Runeard saw them as a threat. He presumably believed that the Northuldra might try to use their magic to one day plot to usurp him and take over his kingdom. Consumed by his hateful, bigoted, and paranoid feelings towards the tribe and their magic, Runeard decided to destroy them to prevent any chances of them trying to destroy him first.

In Hans’s case, he obviously viewed Elsa as a threat to his plans since she was the legitimate heir of Arendelle, and he plotted to kill her to get her out of his way. When Elsa accidentally revealed her powers and caused the eternal winter, Hans was just as shocked as everyone else. However, while his motive to kill Elsa expanded so that he also wanted restore summer to Arendelle (and appear to be a hero in the eyes of the Arendellians for doing so), Hans was always presumably indifferent to Elsa’s powers. Throughout the whole movie, he never once shows any true feelings of prejudice towards magic or fear that her magic makes Elsa so powerful that she is a greater threat to his goal of taking over her kingdom than he initially believed. The best example of this is when he reveals his true nature and plans to Anna, who says “You’re no match for Elsa!” and Hans callously retorts “No, you’re no match for Elsa!” Hans knows that Anna means that Elsa is more powerful than him with her magic and she could use them to bring him down, but Hans is completely unconcerned and unconvinced about this concept. If anything, by this time, he has realized that Elsa was scared of her own power and of losing Anna...and he knew how to use both of her fears against her.

So unlike Runeard’s fear of magic being his overall motivation to destroy the Northuldra, I don’t believe Hans ever feared or was prejudiced towards Elsa for being magical. He only wanted to kill her just because she was in his way of gaining access to Arendelle’s throne.

As with any Disney villain, though, in the end, Hans and Runeard’s confidence and arrogance ends up being their downfall, and they end up being forever ruined due to their actions. Hans extinguishes all heat sources in the library, then locks Anna in so she will die from her frozen heart. But because Olaf helps her escape the castle, Anna intervenes in the nick of time when Hans attempts to kill Elsa. After the winter is lifted, Hans is humiliated and defeated when Anna reveals that she survived, and many witness the punch she gives him to his face. Hans is then apprehended, imprisoned on a French ship headed back to the Southern Isles, and banished from Arendelle forever. He is later shown working in the royal stables in his kingdom, cleaning up after the horses.

Though he makes no further appearances in the franchise, Hans’s betrayal has undoubtedly ruined him forever and he will probably never be allowed to leave his kingdom in order to try his plot all over again. Furthermore, the allusions to and mentions of him in the sequel shows that he will never be forgiven by Elsa, Anna, and their family.

Despite having succeeded in murdering the tribe leader, the war that Runeard instigates leads to him falling off a cliff to his death and causing the angered spirits to cast a mist over the Enchanted Forest, trapping the people, including his surviving soldiers, in it for decades. Though he is long dead by the time the main events of the story take place, what remains of Runeard’s evil reign is finally brought to an end when Anna and Elsa destroy the dam. This act lifts the mist and frees the Forest, and a true union of peace is at last established between Arendelle and the Northuldra.

In life, Runeard had been desperate to protect his power, status, and legacy from being ruined by the Northuldra and their magic. But in great irony, his misdeeds caused his own fear to become reality (though not like he had envisioned), and his legacy is now forever ruined by his betrayal.

#Frozen analyses #Frozen 2 analyses #Disney #Disney Frozen #Disney Frozen 2 #Frozen #Frozen 2 #Hans #King Runeard #Disney Villains #Disney Villain #villains #villain #evil prince #evil king #two-faced characters #similarities #differences #my stuff #mine

[sor-vette]

four, circus!! (index/description)

☜ three, an all-out fight club!!

☞ five, dots!!

t/w: dead bodies, mention of overdose

"This has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen," Yoongi thinks to himself as he blankly stares at Jimin, transferring the PPT file to the projector.

123 slides in "Reasonable arguments as to why we should date, _̵͚̾͌_̶̢̛̘̅͛̕_̶̡̧̝͗̒̋̌̚_̴̮̒̍̿̃͠ .

"Wrong PowerPoint bro," Jungkook grunts with closed eyes. No doubt the idiot had tried to stalk you throughout the night. It's been three days since Erik had officially enrolled.

Namjoon also has his eyes fixed on the projector, his expression giving nothing away.

"Resigned to death, poor bastard, as you should."

Jimin momentarily looks behind him to see why Jin had started to snort in laughter before scrambling to choose another file.

56 slides in "What do we know about Erik and what to do about it?"

"The title could be less verbose," Jin remarks, spinning his chair around the room.

"You're one to talk, literally," Jimin sneers but, there is very little malice in his voice if any. Besides Namjoon, V and Hope, who actually stuck to his word of minding his business, Yoongi didn't know anyone personally in the room. Though he sure has heard of the connections they had with you. Each weirder than the other.

Namjoon, the CEO, the one who went overboard in commitment and scared you off. Rumour was he offered marriage before the first "I like you." But that as well could be bullshit.

Hope, with the most cordial contact out of all. And also the most distant. You two had fundamentally different perceptions of how the world worked. Incompatible match, as the saying goes.

Jin. Despite the grandeur of his character, Yoongi knew very little of him. Even less as to why you left. He presumed the lack of commitment on both sides.

Jimin, the almost. For five months Yoongi had to hear nothing but coy whispers of just what good friends you two were. What good time you both had jumping back and forth from Paris and home. And then with zero explanation, you weren't. Every once in a while, he'd see the two of you in the hallway. Working hard to suffer through an exchange of pleasantries between long awkward pauses. The whispers had been effectively stomped to death, with no one the wiser as to what the hell had happened.

V, the one you hated and the one who hated you. How the two of you even met was beyond anyone's understanding. How you didn't rip each other's throat out even more so. Why he was here? God only knew.

And the last one, JK. Your trainee before Erik. The one who'd shamelessly bounced, leaving you in the dust when the enrollment came with a nary of thank you. After that, you officially joined the cleaner department and largely went missing from the public eye.

And, of course, Yoongi himself. The only official boyfriend. The one who officially broke both of your hearts.

"If all of you could please focus!" Jimin snapped, standing with a wad of paper in hand, waving it like a teacher in front of particularly annoying group of students.

"He even made notes," Namjoon whispered faintly.

"More like a manifesto," Yoongi snickered, letting his eyes wander over the sheer thickness of the file.

"Silence!" For a split second, Yoongi wanted to make a jab about a chihuahua being able to bark, but having considered his own height, he chose to be silent.

"So, let's start with basics. Erik Genyer. Joined two and a half years ago through a recruitment agent. He's 24, lived in Seattle before moving here. No known parents or siblings." Jimin recounted with ease.

"I hope you didn't look through his records," Namjoon frowned at the screen. "Because I did not authorize that."

"Does it count as looking if it's a brief glance?"

"Yes."

"And yet here you are benefitting from it." Namjoon could only breathe through his nose a tad harder.

"Why are you telling us this?" Jin interjected. "Mr CEO here could just give us his file - we'd read for ourselves."

"I will not. That's against company policy."

"And what you're doing here is completely legal and non - invasive." Jin raised his eyebrows, not phased even in the slightest that he was much below Namjoon's position.

"Silence!" Jimin yelped again at the front. "Has anyone here worked with Erik?"

"Hope definitely has," V piped up from his seat, looking as uninterested as one could. Yoongi narrowed his eyes at him. V took the piercing glare in stride, haughtily turning away.

"Well, yes but..." Jimin shuffled on the stage almost awkwardly. "He has strictly declined the invitation to our little... boy band."

"Wait does that mean he could tell _̸̢͉̦͔̣͈̱̅́́̓͊̇̂̓́̕͝ͅ_̸̨̙͚̻̬͖͉̻͔̑̓͐͜ - I mean R.D.?" Jungkook suddenly asks, eyes wide. Even Yoongi blanched at the thought. Everyone straightened in their seats. This was all fun and games until the moment you knew. Oh, you'd rip each and every one of them a new asshole. All of them could kiss goodbye to any attempt of trying to mend bridges. By that point, there wouldn't even be a river stretching underneath.

"I sincerely hope not." Jimin whispers and they sit in a moment of silence, weighing the risks.

"Heh, hope not." Jin suddenly gives a breathy laugh solely to be met by a general aura of disapproval.

"It's not funny." Namjoon scolds slightly but, Jin being Jin, openly looks him into eyes and goes -

"I know."

Amidst the banter, JK raises his hand shyly.

"I trained with him for a short while."

"And what is he like?" Jimin's eyes almost sparkled at anyone giving an actual insight.

"He must be wearing contacts or something," Yoongi mused, pushing the cap of his water bottle around the table. He knew Jimin to be attractive. No one in the entire company would shut up about it, nevertheless, something about him seemed almost supernatural.

JK shrugged in response.

"A bit rude and careless but talented. He finished training early."

"Did it seem like he was particularly going after her?" Namjoon interrogated further. There was a deep scowl of resentment on his face.

"Uhh, no. I think he was interested in the cleaner department in general. Apparently, he spent most of his orientation there."

"He also spent a month in surveillance. Did you speak with him...V?" If V was surprised by Jimin addressing him personally, he didn't show it as he continued to inspect his nails.

"Didn't even know he was there."

"Why did he stay so long in the cleaner department?" Yoongi asked as he ran over the information on the screen. Besides the already mentioned month in surveillance and a week in networking and relations, this Erik hadn't even tried to apply anywhere else.

"Poor communication skills. I had to throw him out. That's why he was only there a week." Jin explained.

"So you spoke to him?"

"Well, no, Irina," he was interrupted by a hollow thud. Without prompt V had dropped his steel thermos onto the desk, tea splattering everywhere and staining JK's jacket in the process. Both of them fumbled to clean it up with anything they could. V dabbed the desk harshly, the wood creeking at every aggressive wipe. Yoongi saw Jin looking sideways, the same confused expression echoed on his face.

"Well, as I was saying, Irina, R.D.'s friend, I'm sure you're familiar, came to me, said he was causing trouble and asked to refer him."

"And you sent him to R.D.?"

Jin gave a deeply suffering sigh.

"No, I did not send him. I referred him to general management and they gave him to the cleaners ."

"Ok, I get all of this. But what are we supposed to do about him?" Namjoon interrupted, jaw set in a tight grip.

Jimin fell silent at the front of the room.

"Yeah, this was the main question." Yoongi thought bitterly.

It was all a question of ethics, wasn't it? JK could pretend all he wanted to be above it all, to be respectful but then he trailed secret circles around you. Whether from guilt or perhaps a sense of entitlement. Yoongi didn't know or really care. Nevertheless the kid clearly had a hard time differentiating between what he said and what he did. Yoongi was however surprised to see Namjoon be so eager. He quite fancied making himself bald from worrying about the nature of evil. Just how easy it was to hide it behind big aspirations of providing aid. But it seemed as of late all of that was tossed aside.

Jimin was the one who orchestrated this in the first place, and so naturally, everyone looked at him for guidance. He was still shuffling around, nervously fiddling the blue pen.

"Well, first of all, I think we should talk more to R.D." A huff passed around the room.

"Talk to her?" V asked sceptically, mouth set in a straight line and heavy wrinkles carved between brows.

"Do you have any idea how difficult that would be?"

"Certainly it would be for you," Yoongi snarled, earning a harsh glare.

"Listen, at the end of the day, it's not really about us trying to force her into something. It's just to make sure... she's living a safe life. Well, the safest that's possible." Jimin said with enough sincerity to trigger certain insecurities within Yoongi and by the look of it also Namjoon.

It was no secret that between the seven, they were the most possessive over you. Both having the wrong idea that you were theirs. Which is why you left and why you probably were so caught up in Jimin. The purity and sheer selflessness of his sentiments acted like a punch to the gut. The genuine care that he reflected like a sun made the raw wound in Yoongi's chest seep even more. To be loved like that would be a dream come true. Yoongi shifted his attention to the laminated floor.

"We talk to her, find out what her life is like, keep a close eye on what Erik does. Talk to other cleaners about him, and once we find out, she's happy. That's. The. End. Of. That." There was no uncertainty. Jimin was dead serious.

The meeting was adjourned, quite amicably actually, but Yoongi knew that the rest of them had ulterior motives and plans. He had them too.

Jin and JK were no threat. Both were too uncertain of what to do with you.

Jimin had some deep-seated self esteem issues. Despite his 123 slide presentation, the way he spoke made it clear. That's probably why the abrupt parting, Yoongi mused. Both of you most likely shared the same anxiety about not being good enough for the other.

V was just V.

Namjoon was the only one Yoongi was truly worried about. Even from looking at his back, walking headstrong up the stairs, Yoongi could see how stubborn Namjoon was. In a way, it was like looking in a mirror. The possessiveness, the mulish mindset. They'd saw you, all of you and had decided that this was it. Yes, Namjoon would certainly be the toughest rival. However, Yoongi was very good at playing the long game. Especially if he wanted something so bad it felt like his thorax slowly being ripped out.

All that was left was Hope. But he wasn't even a viable player. After all, he hadn't even shown up.

***

"Why the fuck is he so heavy?" Erik grunted, swaying left and right and holding onto his dear life to the bagged pair of legs.

"Rigor mortis...set in," you huffed in answer, from the upfront of the body. "At least he wasn't rotting already. That's just nasty. 1, 2, 3."

Both of you lift the body into the van and let the poor bastard drop with a soft thud. Sweat pooled underneath your white hazmat suit with plastic glasses digging straight into your brain. You banged hard against the "EMT" van, and it drove away, carrying Dr. Martin Leyster to the morgue.

Should the neighbours see anything, it was a sad story of a depressed psychiatrist accidentally overdosing on his own meds. The evidence of him manipulating his most vulnerable patients into bankruptcy erased in you any stray feelings of sympathy though.

"You have the peroxide?" You rifled through the cleanup bag, but instead of answering, Erik began to actively point somewhere behind your back. A cold chill ran up your spine as you realize someone has been watching you stuff the body in the trunk. It quickly dissipates when you see a familiar smile.

"Hard at work, I see," Hope whistled, bounding towards you more like a kid on a school trip, rather than what the reality was.

"May I borrow your mentor for a bit?" He asked politely, still smiling up at Erik. There was no warmth in his expression.

"You are after all now an official member of the cleaner crew. Surely you can handle this on your own."

Erik looks at you for a moment before giving a loud sigh and trudging back to Leyster's office, the white toolbox angrily swishing back and forth in his hand.

Without hesitation, you remove the glasses from your head, revelling in the ease of pressure. Hope had stopped smiling altogether, looking quite pensive.

"What brings you here?" You ask lightly. To see him here is not worrying per se, but certainly interesting. He gives a quick shrug.

"Nothing much. Wanted to see how you were doing after that runt's little stunt." You only laugh at the shallow animosity. Erik's talent to drive people out of their patience was truly remarkable.

"I'm doing fine. You know... working. What about you?"

"I've been working as well."

You both fall silent.

"You ever thought about leaving the BH?" He suddenly asked, and you quirk a brow at the question.

"Not particularly. Have you?" Hope focuses a blank gaze at the grey walls of the multi-story apartment complex.

"A little bit. Last few days especially." You stand in muted shock. Hope was the last person you thought would quit. He was, without doubt, the most devoted, the most passionate out of all the hundreds of employees. He lived for the cause, he himself said so. And yet now he stood uncertain in front of you. Not really the bright and friendly Hope everyone knew, not really the strict and somewhat terrifying training teacher. He was just...quiet. It was an upsetting scene.

"Do you want to go for a drink or a lunch, maybe?" You offer, reaching for the zipper of the white suit. Yes, Erik could handle this on his own. He was a big boy. Hope hastily placed his hand atop of yours, pausing the movement. Even through the fabric, it radiated warmth. No wonder people called him sun. He frowned at the conjoined hands, lightly stroking his thumb over your knuckles before lighting up like a Christmas tree.

"No, no. I don't want to burden you with my problems." You didn't believe his smile for a second.

"Well, I won't steal you away for much longer, the pup might get anxious." He turned around, by the looks of ready to sprint off.

"Hey, wait!" He paused, not looking back.

"Do you why JK has been stalking me?"

"He has?"

He had. The first time you noticed a shifting figure in the background, you wrote it off to the combination of hangover and exhaustion. The second time he'd run off into the night faster than you could catch up. The third time you nearly flung yourself off the roof when seeing a pair of doe eyes staring back at you from an empty apartment building.

"There isn't like an alliance going around between some of my... acquaintances?" Truth be told, you found the very idea ridiculous, but it had wormed its ugly way into your brain and was now near impossible to get out. JK, Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon wouldn't even get along with each other. Even though those four were most likely to meddle in your business. However, if looking realistically, it was probably just your paranoia taking an intensive round. Seeing suspicious cars, watchful eyes and snooping noses where there were none. Hope threw you a sardonic smile.

"That would just be stupid."

(a/n)

In this story people have their names and codenames and will be often used interchangeably. It all depends whether in the story the POV character knows the names of others or not.

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x you #ot7 x reader #ot7 x you #bts angst #namjoon x reader #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x you #jin x reader #jin x y/n #jin x you #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #hoseok x y/n #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi x y/n #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung x y/n #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts poly au

[x0401x]

Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #2

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Daily Life of Etranger: Professor Kunz and Morgan

Saturdays were long at Jewelry Etranger. We had a client scheduled to come by at four today. It was three-thirty in the afternoon. While on stand-by together with the shop manager, I felt like we still had a long wait ahead of us.

“Hey, Boss, why do stones always end with ‘nite’?”

Mr. Richard, the Englishman, reflected silently on the meaning of my question for a moment. Deep in thought, he had an elegant facial expression.

A few seconds later, Richard nodded with an “aah”. “What you are referring to is the naming of alexandrite, tanzanite, kunzite and others?”

“Yeah, yeah, that.”

“It is because of the ‘ITE’ suffix, right? Not that the names of all gemstones have it, but it is widely used to denote minerals. From the title of honor of the Romanov royal family, ‘Alexander’s Stone’, we have ‘alexandrite’. From ‘Tanzania’s Stone’, we have ‘tanzanite’. The latter is a commercial name given by a jewelry company, though.”

I get it; seems to be something like an alias.

“Then is kunzite also the name of a place called Kunz?”

“That one is the name of a person. It is named after a famous gemologist, Professor Kunz.”

So this one also received the suffix and became “kunzite”. I see; it’s pretty simple.

“Is that like the ‘sandwich’ in ‘Earl of Sandwich’? Was this Professor Kunz the person who discovered it?”

“Exactly. Good guess.”

Putting your own name on a stone. What was this feeling that someone could randomly stir up a romance with it? I did know that when people were granted naming rights when finding new stars or animals, but I see, that’s also valid for gems.

“So if I found one, it would be a nakatanite...?”

“Are you going to aim for the discovery of a new type of mineral?”

“Might be good! I could write in my resume that I’m ‘the Nakata who discovered the nakatanite’.”

“Pathetic. To think that your reason to be happy about discovering a new stone would be filling up a blank space on your resume...”

After that, Richard discussed that a new discovery meant expanding the scopes of science. That knowing about the existence of a stone that had a different structure from the already known minerals meant broadening the ranges of the world. Of course, an expansion of the jewelry world could also be useful for the development of the latest technology. The world of stones was unfathomable.

Since it was about a time where it wouldn’t be weird if the client showed up, I went to make today’s second serving of royal milk tea, and as I returned from the kitchenette to the reception room, Richard had opened his treasure box. There were two beautiful gemstones cozily lined up inside the large velvet box. One of the pink stones was tinged with a faint shade of lavender, while the other had a trace of orange. Both were very light colors.

“Those are pretty stones. What’re they called?”

“This is a kunzite. I was just stocking up on it.”

So that was the rumored one. With square-faceted cuts, both stones were about the size of half a pinky fingernail, emanating a shiny glow as they reflected the light.

“It is not very suitable to wear as everyday jewelry since it is a delicate stone, but it allows you to enjoy your day plenty enough. Collectors of rare stones are fond of it.”

“Is that kinda orange-ish one the same stone too?”

“This one is called morganite. They have a similar color but are different stones.”

“I’ll guess so don’t say it. Don’t say it no matter what. If kunzite is named after Professor Kunz, then this one... is named after Morgan-san?”

“Correct.”

I heard Richard’s “good for you” for the first time in a while. He spoke such an unfaltering Japanese that you could only think he was an actual Japanese man if you talked to him with your eyes closed, but his nationality was British and he was a blue-eyed blond. Just from his tongue-tying name, Richard Ranashinha de Vulpian, it didn’t seem like his origins were from England alone, but I didn’t know the details. Not yet.

“Aah, so this one was Professor Morgan’s discovery?”

“You were in the faculty of economics, right? Do you know the name and the bank J.P. Morgan?”

“Eh? I do. He was an American billionaire and founder of a big bank... Eh?”

A billionaire had been the discoverer of a mineral? Really?

As my eyes widened, Richard shook his head. “He was one of the world’s leading jewelry collectors. He was also a sponsor of the organization that Professor Kunz belonged to, and there was a deep liaison between the two. Kunzite was named after Professor Kunz, so for this one, they used Mr. Morgan’s name.”

“Heeh...”

Kunzite and morganite.

On one hand, there was the name of a gemologist who worked in the USA. He was surely famous in the world of stones, but if I hadn’t seen that gem, I likely wouldn’t have known his name for the rest of my life.

On the other hand, there was a financial king who had founded a huge company. Even I knew his name. But stones were stones.

Looking at them lined up on a velvet cushion like this, it sort of felt like I was also looking at two friends with similar tastes standing beside each other. Unlike stones, human beings had many kinds of titles clinging to them stickily, but in the end, we were all the same once we were stripped of them. Like “financial king”. “University student”. “Jeweler”. “English”.

“Hey, if I find two new types of stones in the future, I’ll name one ‘nakatanite’, but I’ll give the second one your name.”

Richard made an indescribable face. He did not take me seriously at all. That was expected. It was probably like discovering a new type of vegetable or fish. But there was no way that it didn’t exist.

“But how do you look for a new type of stone? Should I go find a mine that nobody knows about and get to digging it or something?”

“Unknown mines should still exist here and there even nowadays, but the planet called Earth is just one. Even in a place that has never been dug, if you analyze the soil of the area, you can have a rough idea of what kinds of stones are likely to come out of it. Rather than this, there have been several cases where people ‘discovered’ stones by proving that something people had been handling until recently as a different type of stone was actually a new type with a differing composition. Either way, a discernment backed by the knowledge of minerals and an analysis made through the required equipment is indispensable.”

“That’d turn into a pretty chemistry-centered story, huh?”

“Exactly. And of course, it would take time and money.”

“What a fleeting dream~”

“Great to see that you woke up from that dream. If you could find something by thinking of looking for it, nothing would ever be difficult.”

As Richard told me to put away the tea set, he took the flat jewelry box and returned to the backroom. It was 3:45 PM. The client had still not arrived. I washed the glasses in the kitchenette, somewhat unsatisfied, then went back again to the reception room. While the shopkeeper stood by the windowsill and stared down at the street, I called to him with a “hey”.

“Serious talk: between ‘richardite’, ‘ranashinhite’ and ‘devulpianite’, which do you prefer?”

Richard had good looks and was smart. The languages he spoke as if they were his mother tongue were not limited to Japanese. At the very least, speaking five to six idioms was a piece of cake for him. He knew about everything very well. He acted by thinking about ten times more thoroughly than me with a perspicacity more than ten times sharper than mine, so he didn’t make any imprudent blunders. I believed he could be working leisurely in a more secure, more advantageous and easier job. But he was working as a jeweler alone in Japan.

Which was why there was no mistake that the one behind that calm and composed face was quite a romanticist.

As I laughed with a “take it like I won the lottery”, Richard made a face of losing focus. “You mean to say I am your Morgan?”

“Now that you mentioned it, yeah. You’re the one paying my salary.”

“As for you, I think seiginite is better than nakatanite.”

“Eh?”

“If you were to name a stone,” Richard said. “Names are the only ‘garments’ that gemstones wear. I know that Nakata is quite a splendid name, but Seigi is more like you. I also feel that the benefits of wearing it would be easier to distinguish.”

“‘Benefits’, you say... like wanting to help people at random? That benefit’s a bit of a bother.”

“Not bad, is it?” saying so as he turned around, Richard smiled softly.

I wondered if that guy wasn’t actually doing minute calculations on when and in what way to smile, with a clear understanding of how to make the people around him feel good. I had a simple character, so I would end up getting extremely happy when I was told things like that. As I held back from grinning smugly, the beautiful storekeeper furrowed his brows.

“Anything wrong?”

“N-No, no, nothing.”

Shortly thereafter, the shop’s intercom rang. It was the scheduled appointment. The one who came in was a female costumer carrying several store bags – a collector of rare gems. She picked the loose kunzite and morganite, as well as two more rare stones, and went home highly satisfied. Richard had probably laid those stones in stock because he could predict that she was going to purchase them.

After closing the shop at five as usual and bidding goodbye to Richard at Sotobori Street, I remembered the talk we had left unfinished. It wasn’t because his smile was destructively beautiful or anything like that. Thinking logically, finding two new types of gemstone would be hard no matter how lucky I could be – no, one was already absurd –, so in any case, I wondered if “Richard and the Stone of Justice” would do. Dream stories were good, but if an English jeweler was saved by a Japanese university student and hired him to work part time for some reason, despite the low chances of something like that happening, I thought it would be great if I could do something of that level to surprise him. I was pretty serious about it.

#housekishou richard shi no nazo kantei #the case files of jeweler richard #jeweler richard #richard ranashinha de vulpian #nakata seigi #tsujimura nanako #richard #yukihiro utako #novel #my translation #jr short story collection

[magicofthepen]

For the character thingy, romana and leela?? ❤

ROMANA - I’m going to answer for Romana I, since I already did Romana II!

favorite thing about them: so I fell in love with Romana I instantly when I watched The Ribos Operation. I was like “wait no one told me that Romana’s basically a recent graduate who always thrived in school but has now suddenly been thrust into the Real World and is a bit of a mess” and oh my god why is she so relatable, also I love that about her. I love that she doesn’t quite know what she’s doing, and her academic brilliance doesn’t necessarily help in the situations she’s finding herself in, but she keeps trying and learning, so by the end of season 16 she’s much more confident and capable on her own than she was when she started. I just absolutely adore the premise of her character and how she develops during the key to time quest. also her banter skills are so excellent. (….this wasn’t one thing whoops. 😄)

least favorite thing about them: I feel like it’s something about how she’s portrayed in the Gallifrey audios, but I can’t quite articulate what? but I feel like somehow, some of the things I really liked about her on TV (her witty fun banter, her determination even when she’s out of her depth) aren’t represented as much when we get glimpses of Actual Romana I (not Pandora or an alternate universe version). idk if this is even fully true, it’s just….she doesn’t quite have the same vibe as the character I remember from the TV show (but this is also tricky because the Lies scene, the Matrix projection in Lies (which *isn’t* really her technically) and the remains of her consciousness in the body that Pandora’s using are the only times we get Actual Romana I - which isn’t that much time to express all the nuances of her character.)

(continuing to skip the favorite line question because it’s too hard)

brOTP: her and the Doctor!! (like I said in the Romana II ask, I used to ship them more, but lately I’ve been more into a platonic interpretation.) I just as instantly fell for their dynamic in the Ribos Operation - two people with very different personalities who don’t get along but are forced to work together and gradually become friends?? this is exactly the kind of relationship arc that I adore. Their banter and snark is So Good (I was so entertained by their interactions in Ribos Operation that my brain refused to pay attention to anything but their scenes, and I ended up having issues following the plot later oops). And I love their growing respect and care for each other - how they go from being mutually dismissive of each other to valuing each other and being a solid Team and just really genuinely liking each other! their friendship is just Very Good (…..and now I really want to rewatch season 16….I’ve only seen it like one and a half times but I loved it very much….)

OTP: I don’t think I have any ships with Romana I that I would consider an ‘otp’? (the closest would be her and the Doctor since I have sometimes shipped them and I adore their relationship in general)

nOTP: Brax/Romana again….and tbh with Romana I it’s more of an actual nOTP (rather than ‘kinda nOTP, kinda ‘it’s complicated’’) because this is the time frame when she’s actually his student and so my discomfort with student/teacher relationships really rears its head (although there’s still one fic out there that I just think is so well-written.....but it does show the relationship as very unhealthy). 

random headcanon: .....so sorry to continue Sartia posting, but oops the first thing that popped into my head is my new maybe-unrealistic headcanon that Sartia was Romana’s first kiss. in a teenage “I’m curious and want to try this thing and you’re the only person I hang out with, but it doesn’t mean anything....or does it??” way. (.....this is so self-indulgent in such a terrible way rip.)

unpopular opinion: Armageddon Factor is my favorite Key to Time story! (I gather this is an unpopular opinion in Doctor Who Fandom At Large, it doesn’t seem to be liked as much as some of the earlier stories in the season.) technically I’ve only seen it once and it was a couple years ago, but I remember loving it as a Romana story, there were a lot of really interesting character bits for her!

song i associate with them: hmm I don’t really have one? my Romana playlist is specifically for Romana II in Big Finish so....yeah.

favorite picture of them: anything with her Ribos Operation outfit (with the full cloak), it’s iconic and beautiful! on a similar note, I love this Romana I art by @volucris-liga, it’s the first Romana fanart I ever reblogged and it’s so pretty!

more under the cut!

LEELA

favorite thing about them: her resilience and her kindness. Leela goes through so much grief and pain, she has her world upended again and again, she never really finds a place where she belongs. and yet she still keeps choosing to love, choosing to keep fighting for what she believes in, choosing to rebuild again and again. and sometimes it’s really hard and she doesn’t want to go on….but she does, and she finds moments of happiness again. and that strength is really powerful. and no matter how cruel the universe (and other people) are to her, she is still relentlessly kind - she listens, she protects, she wants to help, she cares. 

least favorite thing about them: I mean, the “savage” stereotype that her character references is a racist/anti-indigenous trope (especially the whole dynamic of the Doctor trying to “civilize” her ugh). and I hate that characters keep calling her “savage” (even when they’re the Bad Guys, it’s still bringing up this trope again and again, and it’s even worse when it’s the Good Guys). why are they still doing this.

brOTP: see all characters listed under otp, every relationship that I ship is also an incredibly important friendship in Leela’s life and I love all of them <33 as far as relationships that I see as entirely non-romantic….I really love the version of Leela and Ace’s relationship that exists in my head (and in fandom) - they didn’t get to interact enough in the audios, but I absolutely think they were really close, because of their shared experiences and the ways their personalities mesh. (I feel like I should also say the Doctor here, but tbh I don’t remember her TV stories that well, so I don’t really have a solid memory of what their relationship was like.) and of course, Leela’s parental relationship with Rayo is very important to me!

OTP: once again, ot3 my beloved <33 and Leela/Romana first and foremost (I already rambled about them here, so I’m just going to second everything I said earlier). 

and I also ship Leela/Narvin, although I’m not quite as invested in that pairing? (due to a combination of ‘Romana is my favorite character and so I’m just more interested in her relationships with other characters,’ ‘I joined the fandom when things were pretty much all Leela/Narvin all the time (I say with great respect and affection for the artists and writers putting out amazing content for that ship) so I was motivated to write fic primarily for R/L and N/R to balance out the ot3 content,’ ‘apparently I have a contrary streak with Gallifrey and the more the writers push a romantic interpretation of a relationship, the less interested I am in actually shipping it,’ and ‘I’m not really into Leela/Narvin as a pairing on its own - although I do love a lot of fic that portrays them that way bc it’s just very well-written.’) But just. how they form a grudging alliance for Romana’s sake and then develop genuine respect for each other and then build this really solid foundation of teamwork and fondness and care and really relax and feel comfortable around each other….the way they become ride-or-die for each other and just trust and love each other so much….it’s Very Good!! (And I did love writing scenes with the two of them in Call It Home - I might not focus on them, but I do genuinely love their relationship.) 

And of course Leela/Veega <33….I debated if they even interacted enough in the actual audios for me to consider it an otp, but I love the idea of their relationship and the story of them in my head so much?? going to link to this post because it really captures my feelings about them - they’ve both been through so much grief and pain by the time they meet, they’ve both lost people they love before, so the idea of them choosing to love each other and build something together against the odds is just. very powerful. plus I have a whole playlist for the family they’ve built together, which is a strong indication that I really love this ship. 😊

nOTP: Leela/Andred. last time I answered an ask meme about Leela, I had this complicated response about how I hated Leela/Andred when I watched Invasion of Time (bc it’s so abrupt and arbitrary), and then Louise Jameson’s voice acting Convinced Me To Care because oh she really did love him....alas i am a Leela/Andred detractor at heart, and I have been nudged back to my default state by re-listening….I simply hate how he treats Leela in Gallifrey.

random headcanon: I really like the idea of Leela being more politically involved in her own right after they all return from the Axis. She’s just spent a lot of time leading a group of people who don’t have a voice in the government, fighting for their rights against the established injustices of Gallifreyan society. I don’t think she’d easily slip back into only being Romana’s bodyguard after experiencing more political autonomy on the other Gallifrey. What exactly this looks like in practice I’m not sure about - in my one fic ‘verse, I wrote about her being more directly involved with the Academy as a political liaison and guest tutor, and also advocating to Romana for policies that would benefit those who live outside the city on their home Gallifrey. but there’s probably a lot of options to explore here!

unpopular opinion: hmm I don’t think this is necessarily unpopular but idk and I want to talk about it: even though Leela identifies so strongly as a warrior, a “happy ending” for her would, I think, need to involve getting away from fighting. too often she throws herself into a fight to try to avoid thinking about how much she’s hurting, and it doesn’t work, it doesn’t stop the pain. and in the Time War, she’s tied her identity so strongly to war (it’s inevitable, inescapable, and she will Fight and Defend because that’s all she has left). there’s a difference between “I am a warrior” and “all I am is a warrior,” and Leela’s slid too far into the second one, and she needs to untangle her own identity from war to heal. 

song i associate with them: Freedom by Karmina (it’s a song about going on defiantly in the face of heartbreak -  “Tearing my room apart, I’m starting over” / “Take my pride I can still survive I’ve got my freedom” / “Hunt me down you’ll never find me now that I’ve got my freedom”)

favorite picture of them: the first one that came to mind is this gorgeous art by @laurelhach (which I didn’t realize was based on a picture until I stumbled across the original picture and was like oh my god!! it looks exactly like the art!!)

#thank you for sending these!! <33 #sircarolyn #asks #gallifrey audios #romana #leela #ramblings #gallifrey spoilers

[yeoldontknow]

🖊writerly conversation tag

tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel! 

questions below the cut!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year?

gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that. 

and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.

what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?

i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.

what piece has left the most impact on you and why?

probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates. 

what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?

that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow. 

how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?

i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?

ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~

- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it

- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year?

this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.

what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?

i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.

name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.

gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.

tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!

#writer conversation tag