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sophieebdaily · 5 months

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Forbes: Sophie Ellis-Bextor Talks ‘Murder On The Dancefloor’ Success In ‘Saltburn’

She is the music artist getting plenty of attention right now, as her hit 2001 single “Murder On The Dancefloor” has found new life these more than 20 years later, with its catchy dance beat during a much-talked about scene in the recently released Saltburn film. With the pop tune making its way onto the Billboard Hot 100 this week for the first time and receiving 1.5 million Spotify streams globally back on December 31, a 340% increase compared to New Year's Eve 2022, Sophie Ellis-Bextor is experiencing a whole new level of stardom within her ongoing music career.

I sat down with the English singer-songwriter, who has also returned to her peak spot at #2 on the UK charts exactly 22 years later, to see how she is handling the added fame coming her way lately.

Ellis-Bextor, 44, said, “Well, it’s really exciting and there was a bit over Christmas where I was seeing the numbers picking up and I said to my manager like, ‘This is all amazing but what does it really mean?’ But I think now, I feel like it’s kind of starting to turn into something where it might mean I go places I haven’t been for a while, or maybe new people are introduced to what I am up to. Mainly, I think it’s just a really good example of what I’ve always loved about what I do, which is that you have to be open to the unexpected.”

She went on to say that she loves that fact that at any point, she can get a phone call or an email and it “changes the course of the path I’m on. I’ve always really enjoyed that feeling, and I’ve had a few moments like it before but I think this is going to take a little bit of processing, really, because for me, talking about singing ‘Murder On The Dancefloor’ is not a new thing. I’ve been singing that song for a long time - people are always associating it with me, but the fact that it’s having this kind of wild global adventure is something that’s really hard to process.”

To truly grasp the significance of this moment in Ellis-Bextor’s career, it is best to understand how her journey began. Born in the West London suburb of Hounslow, her music career started at the ripe age of 16, when she joined the indie rock brand Theaudience, which she recalls the group receiving “a lot of hype” but by the time she turned 20, the band was dropped by their label, they split up and she was left “high-and-dry.”

When speaking about that more difficult time in her life, Ellis-Bextor said, “I got to learn a lot about the music industry. I got to learn a lot about myself and my relationship with music. I really felt like I was never going to be lucky enough to ever do that again, but then I also thought there’s nothing else I want to do, other than sing. So, everything that’s happened since then, I’ve really appreciated because having everything go away when you’re 20 is just crap. I felt like I was a complete failure, so I think that’s given me such an appreciation but also a drive with what I’m up to.”

She found her groove again (literally and figuratively) when she was invited to sing on the popular dance track “Groovejet” at the age of 21, an opportunity that introduced her to dance music, “which was a total genre spin for me as an indie kid.” Soon after that, “Murder On The Dancefloor” presented itself.

A song co-written by Ellis-Bextor, she said, “The tone is very much set by a demo that Gregg Alexander had written. He told me that he had basically written this song when he frustrated and he wanted to go out clubbing and he couldn’t. He had an acoustic guitar and he was singing this tune, and it was very loose but I could really hear that chorus - and obviously, he had the lyrics “Murder On The Dancefloor” and I was like, ‘I really like that!’ Very generously, he let me get involved with finishing off the song - and actually, when he and I got together to work on recording the track, we got on really well and we now feel like proud parents a little bit.”

Ellis-Bextor calls her sound “disco pop” and over the past two decades, she has released several notable songs, including “Heartbreak (Make Me a Dancer),” “Bittersweet” and “Crying At The Discotheque.” But how exactly did the opportunity to come about for “Murder On The Dancefloor” to be featured in the Amazon MGM Studios film, Saltburn?

“Whenever anyone wants to use one of my songs, you get like a little written synopsis, asking for approval, so I didn’t know very much, to be honest with you. I knew the film’s title, I knew it was Emerald [Fennell], and I already knew she was very talented and a brilliant writer & director. I knew that it was going to be the whole of the song and someone with no clothes on. I was like, ‘Yep! Count me in.’”

Starring Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi and Rosamund Pike, Saltburn, which is now streaming on Prime Video, centers around a young outcast named Oliver (Keoghan), who befriends his university’s popular pretty boy Felix (Elordi) and gets invited to join him and his eccentric family at their lush English estate for the summer. A series of bizarre and rather horrific events ensue, with Ellis-Bextor’s “Murder On The Dancefloor” song playing at the very end of the film, as Keoghan’s character dances from room-to-room, completely naked.

After approving the song for the film, Ellis-Bextor says she did not think much about it for quite a while. “I hadn’t heard any more about it. So, when things started building and there was like a little bit of a buzz, I think I hadn’t even told my manager or my husband [that I had approved the song for the film].”

She added, “It’s quite funny, really. I went to a screening with my husband and my mom and my eldest boy and my brother - it’s like a real family outing to watch Saltburn. Obviously, if you’ve seen it, there are a few challenging moments for a family viewing, but we all really loved it. I just thought, ‘God, what a great film to be a part of’ and music has been given such a brilliant space in that film as a way [of] nostalgia but also attitude. I thought it was really funny and dark.”

Since the film’s theatrical release late last year and thanks to a popular TikTok trend of people dancing around their home to “Murder On The Dancefloor” in true (yet clothed) Saltburn style, Ellis-Bextor said she began noticing her song catching on again around this past Christmas, just after she finished her latest UK tour and had returned home to her family to hibernate for the winter.

After dedicating much of her music focus lately creating primarily Eastern European-inspired folk songs, I wondered if Ellis-Bextor’s music priorities moving forward are at all changing, with the growing success of her dance sounds from yesteryear.

“No, I really haven’t. That’s not really how I work, but happily and maybe in a slightly serendipitous fashion, I was already planning an album that was kind of like the albums I used to make. It suits me better to just go with my gut, rather than what I think people think I should be doing. I am ready to return to the dancefloor anyway, to be honest.”

Ellis-Bextor says that a new album is in the works under her music label Polydor Records, but she is not completely certain it will be ready to be released this year. “I’ve always been with the belief that it has to be the right album, not the quickest album.”

She is also scheduled to start her latest European live tour in March, and when I asked her if she would be open to expanding that upcoming tour into the U.S., following her elevated stardom there, Ellis-Bextor said, “I will go anywhere I am invited. What a pleasure and that is what a singer is all about. If people want to see me, I’ll be there!”

As for other celebrated music artists that Ellis-Bextor would be enjoy collaborating with in the near future, she said, “I do think it’s such a moment for women - working with a young female artist could be really exciting. I love Sigrid and Lorde and Olivia Rodrigo - there are just so many! There are so many awesome women having such ownership of what they are up to, and I just love it. Especially in the pop field - when you start out, you’re so pitted against each other and it’s all like - well, it sounds very British of me - it’s all like such bollocks. There’s room for everybody, and I think supporting each other is what it’s all about.”

As I concluded my conversation with Ellis-Bextor, I left her with one last question: What message would you like to say to not only your loyal fans over the past 20+ years, but also the new fans that have caught on to your music recently, people who continue to support and champion your ongoing career?

Ellis-Bextor said, “Golly! Well, I’m grateful to all of the above, really. I mean, obviously, the people that have been with me for the long haul - that relationship is super special and I cannot do what I do and avoid that conversation. That’s like literally the fuel on the fire - that’s so special, but I’m also not snobby and I think you got to just put the stuff out, try and keep on keeping on and loving what you do. If people like one of my songs - two albums, the first thing I ever did, the last thing I did - like come one, come all! Take whatever you fancy and make it your own.”

Source: Forbes / Jeff Conway

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thebackdoortoheaven · 10 months

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The Boy Wonder Matures

[Written by Alistair McKay for The Scotsman. August 2, 2002. Transcribed by killermontstreet.com, broken characters left unedited.]

Unprompted, towards the end of our conversation, Roddy Frame tells me about his dreams. "My recurring nightmare is that I walk onto a stage and I go to start the song and I turn around and the bass player's not ready. Then he's ready and I look behind him, and the drummer's still not ready, and I wait to get him, and I look round and the crowd has gone. Then I get them back, but I can never get everything working in the one place at once.

"I think that's very apt," he continues. "A very powerful metaphor for how we run our lives sometimes. We try to control all the bits. I was constantly changing drummers, trying to get it right. Is it the manager? Is it the record company? Then you think: 詮***, maybe it's me.' That's the one possibility you never think about: firing yourself.

"That was the joke - maybe I could fire myself. Well, maybe if I had, things would have got better."

Not that long ago, it looked as if Frame had taken his own advice and sacked himself. His last record, The North Star, his first without the brand name Aztec Camera, had been kindly received but did nothing commercially, despite being on Travis's label Independiente. (It is arguable that Travis wouldn't have existed without the efforts of Aztec Camera and their cohorts Orange Juice, who, for a brief period around 1981, made Glasgow the world centre of jangly guitars.) Of that record, Frame says: "I think they're really good songs and I'm bound to say that, but it's one of those things that just didn't really excite or interest anyone. It was kinda like: 15 years down the road, Roddy Frame with jangly guitars and a band. Nice, but ..."

Nice, but. Frame, we may conclude, was questioning his sense of purpose. He is 38 now and started in the music business at 16. His first record, a lovely tumble of words called Just Like Gold, was released weeks before his 17th birthday, propelling him into a jagged career which delivered shards of greatness (the confessional soul of How Men Are, say, the bittersweet lament We Could Send Letters, the Glasgow bus station ballad Killermont Street) along with a number of diversions where he variously disguised the blunt vulnerability of his blue-eyed soul. He changed the drummer and the bass player and the producer. He worked with Ryuichi Sakamoto, hoping that the Japanese producer would make him sound electronic and weird like his soundtrack to Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence. (Sakamoto wanted to make a jangly Scottish guitar record.) He duetted with Mick Jones of the Clash on Good Morning Britain. He sampled the World Saxophone Quartet. He sang of the smell of violence.

It's possible to view Frame's career as a journey of exploration which flitted between genres. He was a punk who liked Dylan and Donovan, listened to Anita Baker, and wanted his trumpets to sound like Miles Davis. But flitting between genres doesn't get you played on the radio. Eventually, Frame hit the rocks.

Nine years ago, when promoting one of his less-successful experiments on WEA, I met him, and he confessed to being unconcerned by notions of a career in music. He could, he said, always pick up his guitar and sing. "I'll always get a gig."

Last week, at London's tiny Borderline club, he was doing just that, happily strumming through 17 songs which underlined his claim to be one of the best writers of the last 20 years. There were oldies (Somewhere in My Heart, The Bugle Sounds Again, The Boy Wonders, Down the Dip, The Birth of the True) and several songs from his new record Surf, which is released next week, but already sounds like a classic. It is Frame, an acoustic guitar, and a shattered heart. It is poetic and beautiful. It is his best record, the one he always threatened to make.

Though he is currently too optimistic to say it, Surf is Frame's map back from the brink. He talks now about keeping a sense of scale in his work, making it all easily accessible. The other word he keeps using to describe his current position is "manageable". The record was recorded in a manner which recalled the simplicity of his first recordings, using an Apple Mac. "You write the words on the screen, finish it, go ping, and then plug your mikes into the same computer and record it. You just think 層ow'. This was like the dream. That instantaneous way of making records. It's almost like we wanted to do with indie records: f*** that, we'll do it all ourselves.

"I remember going through on the train to Edinburgh with Alan Horne [of Postcard], to do demos. We went through nine or ten songs in one day and came back with the tape and thought nothing of it. Or recording those Postcard singles - you'd get on the train, make the record, come home and the next week you'd get the record. You can do that again now."

Roddy Frame's dad was a singer. Not a professional, but sometimes he would perform in clubs. He liked the popular tenors, Josef Locke, Mario Lanza, and specialised in the pop songs of the 1940s. "He had a perfect voice," Frame says. "A very beautiful voice, strong high notes." The Frames were from Faifly in Clydebank, but moved to East Kilbride when Roddy was a year old. He has photographs, but no memories from Clydebank.

When people ask about East Kilbride, Frame refers them to the Bill Forsyth movie, Gregory's Girl. "That's Cumbernauld, but it looks exactly the same." East Kilbride, he recalls, had "a million roundabouts, which means there are a million underpasses. To walk from one end of town to the other, you have to go through about 40 tunnels."

But it felt OK. "It felt good. I remember saying to someone, 詮***in' hell, it's not that bad. There's a lot of grass and that'. And he goes: 糎ell, it'll be f**kin' great if I ever decide to keep sheep.'"

When he was four or five years old, Frame saw Roy Wood and Wizzard on Top of the Pops.

"My sisters were into pop music and the Beatles, so I was hearing them say how great it was all the time. And my dad was a good singer, so there was always music around the house. But I remember seeing Roy Wood with all his hair dyed and all that. I liked him in the Move as well, I loved the sound of the electric guitar in Get The Fire Brigade. And then I saw him on TV, and I said: 選 want to be like that.' My mum said: 塑ou want to be like that? You don't want to be like that.' I said: 選 really do, that's who I want to be.' So I got a little guitar.

"And then my sister had a magazine with pop pin-ups in it, and there was one of David Bowie, looking really weird: there was all this red light on him, and his spiky hair, and I said 糎ow!' She said: 選 don't want that one, you can have it. He's weird.' I took it. Before I heard Bowie's music I liked his picture."

When Roddy was seven, his uncle came over from San Francisco and gave him ｣10. His dad took him to a record shop called the Arcade. Upstairs, it was dark and the walls were covered in posters of topless girls on motorcycles. He bought Bowie's Space Oddity. It is only a slight exaggeration to say that the chord change near the start of the song changed his life. "That change from C to E7: 禅his is ground control to Major Tom'. You just think: 糎ow! What was that?' I remember putting that on again and again, thinking it was just weird. I couldn't believe this sound on a record could make your whole being feel weird. This yearning feeling."

His heroes were Bowie's guitarist Mick Ronson, Roxy Music's Phil Manzanera and Dr Feelgood's Wilco Johnson. And then there was punk. At the age of 15, Frame phoned up Siouxsie and the Banshees and offered to be their guitarist. "The girl said, 前h, I think at 15 you might be a bit young'."

Last month, he went to see Siouxsie play. "I got such a thrill seeing Siouxsie doing it again. I even warmed to the idea of nostalgia. Coming from a punk background, I always would have frowned on that. You know: this is nostalgia, this is not real. This is people remembering what was good in the past. Now I think that's all right. It's good. It's quite pleasant."

It's continuity.

"Yeah! That's exactly what it is. You think: 禅hey're still here, maybe everything's OK!'

"As you get older you value those things. I was watching Fawlty Towers the other night, and Reginald Perrin before that - you want to go and hug the people that made those.

"It's like when I see David Bowie. It's not like I want to meet him or hang out with him, I just want to go up to him and say thank you for all that great stuff. Thanks for being such a big part of a childhood I can look back on and think, 糎ow, that was great'."

Briefly, I talk to Roddy Frame about love. It is his subject and no-one is writing better songs than he has on Surf. (On Big Ben, for example, he offers this: "Like the wind that leaves the trees all standing/Shy and raked as their leaves are landing".)

He compares it to a kind of spirituality "that washes over you and makes you better". And then, more pertinently, to a loosening of the grip, a detachment: "a letting go. Sometimes when you let go a bit, it helps.

"If there is a theme," Frame concludes, "maybe that's it. Acceptance, maybe? It seems like the more I let go, the more power I get."

#interview #2002 #the scotsman #roddy frame

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dzpenumbra · 2 years

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11/23/22

I went to see the apartment today. It was surprisingly easy. Went through and inspected it alone. I am falling deeply in love with it, it's a wonderful space. I still don't know how I feel about being in an urban environment, but I have huge windows that I look out and I see ruined ancient mill structures and archways, and trees, and a river. I can't complain about that at all. And there's a closet space that's built into the wall that's like... a crawlspace kinda? But carpeted? And I kinda wanna turn it into like a meditation/creativity cave kinda thing. I think that would be really cool.

The "bedroom" is a loft space, but has plenty of headroom and more than enough space for me and my bed. It's very spacious. I'm very excited about it, the first thought I had is "I want to get plants for here". Lots of light, and I was never able to grow plants at my current place. Too much moisture in the air (right on a pond) and too little light (barely any windows in this room). I kept getting white mold and all my plants died, I was told that was because of lack of light. I stopped growing plants out of mercy. I'm excited to start this new journey and make a home space that is organic and living, healthy, alive and breathing. Not in a mold and fungus way like this one, in a plants and cat way.

I am running very late in my timeframe right now so I'm trying to nutshell and not gush about stuff too much. I felt very fish-out-of-water, I think I apologized for being a "country guy" like... 10 times in an hour. Keyless fobs and online portal payments, keyless ignition rental cars, all this shit is completely new to me and very overwhelming. I literally went overnight from hand-polishing stones and hand-carving wooden beads from sticks that I gathered barefoot hiking in the woods... to checking into a modern apartment in an urban area with remote security gates and keyless locks. It's a bit of a culture shock!

But the people who worked there were very kind to me and seemed to like me. I didn't feel the adrenaline much at all. In fact, the only real shot of adrenaline I got the entire day was when I almost got T-boned by a teenager in a rural town at a sketchy intersection. And when a cop pulled a U-ey right when he passed me on my way up (but he was just responding to a call). No adrenaline with social interactions, despite being in extreme isolation for like 5 years. It's so hard to really wrap my head around. Like, now that it's been brought to my attention, I pretty clearly have social anxiety issues. But it's like... completely biophysically absent. Which is probably how I missed it. It's weird. How do you detect that you're scared if you don't feel... scared?

Anyway, I did 5 hours of driving today. I went up, met with an Assistant woman who was nice and had vivid green eyes. Interesting note, since I'm on the topic of isolation, I've noticed that people don't really hold eye contact much usually. And that I do. Eye contact is very... powerful and valuable for me. It's a very, very, very rare thing in my life, and when you think about it, it's a very intimate act. And I think people can just subconsciously sense that it's a big gesture for me? After I made prolonged eye contact with both the Manager and the Assistant, they were both incredibly friendly with me. Like the whole corporate management thing just dropped and we were just buddy-buddy. It was cool, and made the whole thing much easier for me. So, that's a cool thing that I thought worth sharing. When you're around people who constantly get treated like crap, or have to be the "bad guy", it doesn't hurt to really, sincerely show interest in where they're coming from. And treat them like a person. They do tend to appreciate it. I mean, they are people, after all.

So I just moved in my acoustic guitar, my banjo and my bass. I have a bunch of shit I moved by my front door to bring up tomorrow. Yep. I'm planning to do two trips in two days back-to-back. This time to move a bunch of shit. Not a ton, lots of books and art supplies and memories and etc stuff. Then I'm going to come back here and chill for 2 days, because I won't be able to have anyone do my cats meds over that timeframe, my mom is going up to visit with my brother and his wife and my nephew. I wish I could visit too, but... cat... so... I can recover from the driving and chill with my cat, I guess. Then I'm really, really hoping I can just knock out the rest of the move in one trip... but it's possible it might take two trips. We'll see.

That's kinda where I'm at. Oh shit, I saw tons of starlings today, which was really cool. And a gorgeous pastel sunset over the mountains. It was really movie-like. Cinematic. I got home and tried to coordinate vet plans. My mom is helping a lot with coordinating phone calls and stuff while I'm driving, it's helping a ton. I heated up some food. I watched some YouTube, did quick tarot study, a tiny bit of digital Zen garden stuff and... moved my shit by the front door. And now here I am.

So... I'm beyond exhausted. And I'm doing it again tomorrow. But this time, I have less time restrictions. So I'm gonna wing it and see what happens. Wish me luck. And fingers crossed on a full night's sleep tonight because god daaaaamn am I a week overdue.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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newmusickarl · 2 years

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Album & EP Recommendations

All These Things by DC Gore

Dot to Dot Festival that takes place here in Nottingham every May Bank Holiday has been a new artist goldmine in recent years. I don’t know who curates the line-up but in recent years I’ve discovered exceptional upcoming talent from all over the globe. Since being made aware of the festival in the mid-10s, I’ve been introduced to The Amazons, Oscar and the Wolf, Sundara Karma, Dua Lipa, Rag N Bone Man, Kyla La Grange, Holy Holy, Josef Salvat, Miya Folick, Day Wave, Nimmo, Bob Vylan and many more - some of those years before their big break into the mainstream too.

Now a few years ago, one of my favourite discoveries didn’t actually end up playing the festival. Although they would eventually cancel their appearance, just by having electronic trio Little Cub on their line-up, Dot to Dot had allowed me to unearth yet another gem. Producing one of my favourite albums of 2017 in Still Life, Little Cub’s unique mix of descriptive, often political lyrics and electronic music was something special to behold. Essentially, they would take a particular person, time or place and turn them into a vivid synth-driven tale – be it songs about sexual urges, fake news or the last days of late-great football manager Gary Speed.

Sadly after that incredible debut album, Little Cub would eventually split to follow new projects, but I’m pleased to say their legacy continues with this stunning debut album from one of the band’s former members - Dominic Gore. On his debut solo outing All These Things, Gore basically repackages the Little Cub formula to give us the sophomore record we never received. Here, Gore’s dark, wittily cutting and often brutally cynical lyrics are often contrasted with a jubilant mix of new wave, art and kraut-rock, meaning the songs often leave you dancing but deeply contemplating at the same time.

Quite poetically the album begins with the song that would be Little Cub’s final single, Millennium People, re-recorded to bring it slightly more in line with the DC Gore sound. The essence of the track remains though, which was brilliantly described on its original release as sounding like “Vangelis soundtracking a Cronenberg movie set in the Hacienda.” Follow-up Nietzsche on the Beach then finds Gore at his most nihilist as he tears into right wing nationalists with lyrics like “Mobile phone-shaped tan lines, the fascist weekender” all whilst a gleaming, sunny groove plays out in the background. If there’s one track that captions Gore’s brilliance in a nutshell, it’s this one.

From there, Gore just continues to bring inescapably hypnotic grooves aplenty, such as the shimmering late-night wonderment of Need You Tonight, which erupts into a soaring guitar solo at the song’s climax. Set You Free is then arguably even better, starting out as a soft piano-driven piece before quickly morphing into a rumbling club banger. I Like You is then a sparkling love song whilst California is the most heavily EDM-infused track on the record. The title track then plays out the record, a mostly acoustic and incredibly poignant track that leaves the listener to ponder lines like “Giving up so much for what you’re given, maybe it’s time to give in and start living.”

Overall, this is a near faultless debut from DC Gore and I’m so happy he’s carrying the flame of Little Cub going forward. If you are a fan of artists like Pulp, Nation of Language, Spector or Working Men’s Club and haven’t got this one on your radar, get it queued up.

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Renaissance by Beyoncé

There are arguably no two things that I love more from an album listening experience than eclecticism and narrative structure. If I’m going to spend 30 minutes to an hour listening to something, I want to be taken on an adventure – whether that’s a dazzling, genre-hopping sonic journey or a cohesively packaged collection of songs linked by a personal story or overriding theme. Typically, the albums that I enjoy the most will carry one of these traits but, occasionally, an album will emerge boasting both attributes. Back in 2016, Beyoncé’s Lemonade was very much that album.

Accompanied by a 60-minute artistically shot film, Lemonade was a towering work of commercial pop music that really was nothing short of extraordinary. Fuelled by Jay-Z’s much publicised affair, Beyoncé took her anger, frustration and sadness and moulded it into an immensely creative and liberating piece of art. Telling the story of the whole ordeal completely unfiltered, it also saw her perform some stunning sonic acrobatics throughout.

With help from musical heavyweights like Jack White, Kendrick Lamar, The Weeknd and James Blake, Beyoncé would effortlessly flick between genres depending on which worked best to enhance the emotion and feeling at the core of each track. From the rage-fuelled rock of Don’t Hurt Yourself, the laid-back country of Daddy Lessons to her devastating vocal performance on piano ballad Sandcastles, these dramatic style shifts shouldn’t have worked but they did because of the story being told. Although it would only finish 9th in my Albums of 2016 list due to an incredibly strong year, it has grown in stature for me in the years since, as few other records from mainstream stars on the level of Beyoncé have been able to match it.

Now six years later, Beyoncé has returned with her new album, Renaissance - and it’s already been hyped to the moon by both critics and the “Beyhive”. Due to the noise surrounding the record and my adoration for Lemonade, my expectations going in were high. Ultimately Beyoncé just couldn’t match up to that, but that’s not to say Renaissance is a bad record, in fact quite the opposite - this is another solid effort. All hype aside and analysing the record with that brushed off, Renaissance ends up being a mostly thrilling summer dance record that keeps the creative spirit of Lemonade alive.

Across the album’s hour-long runtime, Queen B once again packs in a mesmerising mix of different musical styles, this time drawing inspiration from house, techno, disco, garage and even afrobeat, as well as her staple blend of pop, R&B and soul. Thematically the record also follows on nicely from Lemonade’s triumphant finale of Formation, with Beyoncé celebrating freedom, self-love and unabashed confidence. The tracks seamlessly segue into each other too, playing out almost like a lively DJ set full of feel-good bangers and positive vibes.

That said, the album doesn’t get off to the best of starts with I’m That Girl and Cozy, which are probably the weakest tracks here. The former is a very muddled track that doesn’t quite find its footing, built on a grating sampled refrain of “These motherfuckers ain’t stopping me.” The latter also has its struggles, with Beyoncé’s positive message of being comfortable with who you are often getting lost in some clichéd and contrived lyrics.

However, once these two tracks are out the way, the album immediately picks up and rarely lets up going forward. Alien Superstar is like the sound of Hot Chip teaming up with Self-Esteem, with some joyous dance beats married to gospel vocals and an uplifting message to stay “unique.” The album then takes a disco-turn, with the inimitable sound of Nile Rodgers’ guitar soundtracking Beyoncé’s calls of “I feel like falling in love, I’m in the mood to fuck something up.” It's infectiously groovy and you’ll struggle to resist getting loose to this one.

As Energy draws to close, a short two-minute collab with Jamaican-American rapper BEAM, it transitions immaculately into Beyoncé’s monster summer hit, Break My Soul. Not that it needs any extra lift, but that added drop from the transition just helps it to hit even harder in the context of the album. Still a firm highlight, the house-inspired track channels the spirit of Robin S’ classic Show Me Love whilst Bey serves up a typically powerful vocal performance.

As you enter the second half, there’s plenty more highlights to be found too. Plastic Off The Sofa is a heartfelt and chilled R&B number whilst Virgo’s Groove is six-minutes of sexually-charged funk. Move then sees Bey team up with the legendary Grace Jones for a strutting feminist anthem, whilst Thique and All Up In Your Mind then present probably two of the filthiest beats you’ll hear all year. Bey then arguably saves one of the best for last, with Summer Renaissance sampling the Donna Summer and Giorgio Moroder classic I Feel Love for a colourful, modern take on the sun-kissed dance classic.

So, whilst I don’t think this hits the same dizzying heights of its predecessor as there are a few tracks here I don’t care for, this is still another accomplished and well-crafted outing from one of pop’s biggest giants. Beyoncé must’ve known she was never going to be able to match Lemonade’s emotional impact, so she made the right decision with Renaissance by going in a completely different direction and not attempting to replicate it. Instead, she carries over the eclectic nature of that record and uses it to explore different electronic textures, weaving it all together into a highly enjoyable summer listen.

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Also out, also great: Surrender by Maggie Rogers, They Fear Us by Ithaca

Tracks of the Week

Happiness by The 1975

A couple of weeks ago, Manchester indie-pop superstars The 1975 unveiled the first taste of their forthcoming new album, Being Funny In a Foreign Language. That track (titled Part of the Band) was a sharp left turn, serving up an artsy and quite understated single that you wouldn’t naturally associate with one of the planet’s biggest pop acts.

This week however they are back to The 1975 that we know and love, with new single Happiness sounding almost like an amalgamation of all their best previous singles. With that vintage 80s style guitar groove, some funky sax action and an instantly catchy chorus of “Show me your love”, it’s The 1975 at their absolute best.

Watch the video here

Boy by The Killers

Much like The 1975, the last release from Vegas indie heroes The Killers was a bit out of leftfield, with Brandon Flowers exploring the sights and sounds of his childhood hometown of Nephi, Utah on the band’s excellent lockdown record, Pressure Machine. Now on latest single Boy, he continues the nostalgic look back but this time with a sound more familiar to their fans. A joyous indie anthem, it even samples the iconic synth pattern from the Erasure classic A Little Respect to give it some added pop.

Listen here

Freakout / Release by Hot Chip

The third single to be taken from the electronic outfit’s upcoming new album is the record’s title track and easily the best taster from the album so far. With distorted robotic vocals reminiscent of their own track Huarache Lights, frontman Alexis Taylor sings “Music used to be an escape, now I can’t escape it” before the track breakouts into a barrage of reverbing rock guitars and hard synths. Just awesome!

Listen here

Acting Out by Bloc Party

Bloc Party also released the deluxe version of their latest album Alpha Games this week, including three brand new bonus tracks. The best of these is Acting Out, which sees the indie legends continue their return to their early Silent Alarm-era sound, with this one reminiscent of early single She’s Hearing Voices thanks to Russell’s signature jittering riffs and Kele’s stop-start shouty vocals.

Listen here

Smiley by Orbital

Taken from their new anniversary record 30 Something which is mostly reworks and remixes of their classic tracks, Smiley is one of the few original tracks on the project. An ode to the Acid House era of the late 80s/early 90s, it’s a seven-minute, nostalgia-soaked electronic odyssey that samples vox-pops from ITV documentary World In Action that covered the emerging rave scene 50 years ago.

Listen here

Summer Somewhere by LIES

And finally this week, the American Football side project featuring the Kinsella brothers continues to be one of my favourite musical diversions right now. Taking their Midwest emo roots and soaking them in glistening strings and electronics, this is another simply stunning track from the duo.

Listen here

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ofbooksandaesthetics · 3 years

Text

Battle of the Bands

Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin

Levi/Reader

Modern Band AU

Summary: As the guitarist of The 104th, you are invited to play with your favourite band The Scouts.

Warnings: slight profanity but not much

Author’s note: I listened to Queen of White Lies by Orion Experience 10 times in one bus journey and couldn’t help but imagine Jean singing it about Mikasa. And voila! This imagine was born :)

From a young age, you’d always been obsessed with music. From your dad playing jazz on a lazy Sunday afternoon to your mum playing R&B as she cleaned, you had always been surrounded by it. It followed you everywhere so it was no surprise when you were gifted a guitar for your 9th birthday.

You spent hours each day practising fingerpicking, then moving onto chords and then fully-fledged songs. As you grew so did tastes - and your guitar collection.

Before moving into the 6th grade, your family moved for a new job, leaving you without friends and having to start a new life in the city of Trost. The one thing that was ever consistent was the strings of your guitar and the beats from the speakers, which became your solace in the coming weeks. And said beats caught the attention of your new next-door neighbour.

Jean Kirstein was also massively into music, and when he walked past your house he could hear the amp blaring from your open window. He became enthralled and would often leave his window open to catch even just a few notes.

The Saturday before school started, Jean was forced by his mother to introduce himself to you (she said you had to have at least one friend before starting school) and by doing so Mrs Kirstein caused a life long friendship to bloom. He was forced into your house by your mother and lead upstairs to your room. He was greeted by band posters, from MCR to The Beatles, and an acoustic and electric guitar hanging on the wall side by side. But what caught his gaze was the massive “SCOUTS” poster above your bed.

“WOW! That’s so cool, you like The Scouts!” He exclaimed as he entered your room, causing you to jump from your magazine and stare at the brown-haired boy invading your space.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?” You shouted, giving your mum a quizzical glare as she smiled at the boy's excitement. Your voice seemed to pull the boy out of his oasis and he met your eyes with a blush and a shrug.

“I’m Jean. My mum sent me, we live next door.” Before you could introduce yourself, he had already started to speak again “I’ve heard you playing your guitar. You’re really good!”

At this your mum left the two of you two it, only returning 3 hours later to find you both on the floor, with you playing whilst Jean sang along. Noticing the time, Jean jumped up remembering his mum warning to be back by dinnertime.

“It’s been great meeting you! If you want I can meet you outside on Monday and I’ll introduce you to my friends. They’d love to hear you play too! Connie’s really into the drums and Marco has been learning bass.”

Hearing this your eyes lit up and your mum’s heart warmed at the idea of you finally enjoying your new life.

“That sounds great, I’ll see you then!” You called as your mum lead him out.

4 YEARS LATER

The years passed quickly and it didn’t take you long to forget the pain of your old life and become enamoured with your new friends. Jean did indeed introduce to his friends Connie, Sasha and Marco, and it didn’t take long for you to become the best of friends. The five of you would all meet Connie’s garage, sometimes just chatting but more often than not bringing along your instruments for a jam session. Four years went by of you playing lead guitar, Marco jamming on bass, Connie smashing on percussion and Jean accompanying with his gruff drawl, whilst Sasha sat atop of the counter, sadly not having any musical talents other than occasional tamborining. And the four years went by easily until Sasha let out a suggestion.

“You guys should start a band. Like a proper one, with gigs and shit” She declared, soon after stuffing her mouth with a cake Mrs Springer had brought in.

“See at least someone appreciates my musical talents” quipped Jean with a quirk of his eyebrows, causing you all to laugh.

“I’ve got to admit, I’m down! We’ve been playing for years, we even played at last years prom.” Seeing no reason against the idea, you voiced your opinion.

“Yeah but that was prom. We know all of them anyway, if we did gigs it would be to strangers and critics and stuff” Huffed Connie.

“Yeah, and potential talent scouts! Imagine if we got signed! What do you think Marco?” Jean turned to face he freckled boy awaiting his response.

“I guess it could be fun.” He said, tilting his head to the side and turning to Connie. “I think we should”

With a consensus of four out of five, all eyes were set on Connie, pleading him to agree. He spluttered, not expecting you all to be serious. After a moment of staring at you all incredulously, he finally gave in.

“Fine! But if we got told we’re shit it’s on you guys” He sighed, but was drowned out by all your cheers.

2 YEARS LATER

After that day, you had all put in the effort to perfecting your craft and coming up with your own songs. You and Jean would have weekly sleepovers, pulling all-nighters to get the perfect verses. And it wasn’t long until you booked your first gig, which was a success. Nearly the whole grade had turned up to support you, and you soon became a local legend. And in honour of them, you had named your band The 104th, due to being the 104th grade since your school was founded.

Your increased fame, got you gigs outside of Trost, on larger stages than the small bars you were used to. You had released your first album and we’re having a small jam session, when Sasha’s, who had taken up the role as manager, phone rang. You all carried on with your conversation until Sasha quickly stood up and ran across the room, her voice getting slightly louder, causing you all to stare at her.

“OMG! That sounds great, we can be there for the soundcheck in less than an hour. Thank you so much, for this opportunity. We appreciate it! Thank you, bye!” She exclaimed with wide eyes as her smile grew and grew. After ending the call she whipped around, before letting out a screech

“OI, OI! What’s going on?” Asked Connie, as he walked up to Sasha flicking her forehead as she squealed again.

“GUESS WHO’S OPENING FOR THE SCOUTS?!” She all but screamed whilst running to the front of the garage and throwing your jackets at you all. Realising what she meant you stood in a state of shock before opening your mouth.

“What do you mean? Opening for The Scouts. As in THE SCOUTS? They’re playing tonight, we can’t open for them.” You justified, meeting Jean’s stunned gaze.

You two had always imagined what it would be like to meet your legends, let alone open for them. After your initial meeting, the two of you had gone on for hours about your favourite songs by the band and sang along to them. You had even let him in on your crush on the lead guitarist, Levi Ackerman, for heaven’s sake. As good as an opportunity this was, you were a nervous wreck. It was one thing to play on the same stage that your favourite band had stepped on, but to play with them and meet them. That was a thing of its own.

You were knocked from your thoughts by a shoe to your head, and as you focused back in you watched Connie running around like a headless chicken. Attempting to back up his drum kit, he panicked until Sasha assured him there’d be one there for him. The rest of you seemed to kick into action and you ran about gathering your equipment before rushing home to grab gig-worthy clothes. You all met up back at Connie’s house before all piling into Jean’s minivan. Connie and Sasha were as loud as always but you, Jean and Marco seemed to still be too shocked to talk.

As you rolled up to the venue, you saw a queue of about 20 Scout super fans lined up three hours before the gig even started. You wondered how many were your fans, as Sasha had sent out announcements on every social media site possible after you guys left. You hauled your guitar case out of the van before following behind Sasha into the main doors of the venue. The crew were rushing about everywhere, and if you weren’t already used to the atmosphere you were sure you’d pass out. As you walked into the main hall, your eyes fell to the band on top of the stage. All five of you froze, in the realisation that you were in the same room as your childhood heroes. Putting your kit down, you watched as Hange Zoe lazily sat on her drum set, tapping out a quiet beat, as the lead singer Erwin, counted in the beat. Miche Zacharias swayed his hips as he set out the bassline, and Levi almost languidly strummed his electric guitar.

The five of you were pulled behind the stage before you could watch their practice start but you could still hear it as they performed their soundcheck. Experienced in the world of gigs, the four of you prepped your instruments, tuning them in case they had been messed up in the hurry of your departure. And by the time you’d finished the Scouts were walking towards you. Hange greeted you first.

“HI! OMG, we’ve heard so much about you guys. You guys are practically famous around here!” She blurted out, her excitement surprising you all. Connie seemed to be frozen as his inspiration complimented you guys. Miche let out a greeting and moved on to sit down. Leaving Erwin and Levi in front of you. Erwin stepped forward and placed out his hand, shaking and greeting you all individually. Now there was just Levi left.

Your eyes met his and you couldn’t help but blush, as he gave a small nod. Appreciative of the small gesture, you calmed slightly until Jean ruined it

“HI! We love you guys so much. Y/N even has a crush on Levi!” He blurted, his face turning bright red after realising what he had said. You gasped and without thinking smacked him across the head.

“WHAT THE HELL’S WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?” But before you could apologise and defend yourself to Levi and Erwin, you were escorted to the stage for your own soundcheck. Glaring at Jean, you got in position, and were done in half an hour.

After the soundcheck, you were given time to rest, giving you all time to calm down, after the more than lively introduction. You eventually forgave Jean for his outburst but not without consequences. He would be carrying your gear for the next year’s worth of gigs.

You hadn't yet gained back the confidence to talk Levi but had spoken to the other members of The Scouts. Miche and Erwin told you about how their touring band had ditched them last minute and how they needed another opening band pronto. You were astonished to find out that Hange herself had requested you guys, but it filled your heart with warmth knowing someone as famous as her held your small-town band in high regards.

Everyone could sense your apprehension to talking to Levi but we’re all shocked when the quiet man joined you whilst getting a drink. You almost blushed when you noticed him next to you but pushed the feeling down and smiled at him. Although Jean had embarrassed you beyond belief, there was no reason to push away your childhood dream and miss the opportunity to talk to him.

“You know you we’re what inspired me to start learning the guitar?” You said. Levi didn’t reply but you decided his silence wasn’t in annoyance. “My parents were always super into music anyway but when I heard your guys' debut album it pushed me towards the guitar.” You watched him finish making his tea and leave but before he sat down, he turned his head over his shoulder.

“I’m glad to hear it” He replied, turning again and leaving. You smiled, happy that he didn’t think you were a complete freak.

2 HOURS LATER

The time had finally arrived. From the side of the stage, you could see a sea of people filling the venue and could hear the symphony of chatter. The boys were stood next to you, panting with nerves. You had never performed to such a large crowd before. You took a sharp breath before turning to them.

“Come on boys! We’ve done this before and we’ll do it again. This is just another small step before we get our own main stage like this!” Your small pep talk seemed to calm the boys and caught the attention of Erwin and Levi who were waiting to watch your performance from the side-lines. You smiled at the two but we’re now filled with dread as you realised they would be watching. You threw that fear away and gave Marco a side hug as you fixed your strap, and then followed Jean to the stage.

The lights blinded you but once your vision cleared you all but gasped at the sheer amount of sweaty bodies in front of you. You beamed brightly and gave a wink to a figure in the balcony. At least you could seem confident even if you were dying inside.

The beat of the drum surrounded you and Marco’s strumming blared out from the amps. You started plucking at your guitar and forgot about the crowd. Jean’s gravely word floated out into the dark room, and it was easy to forget you were on a stage and instead it felt like you were back in Connie’s house. As the song reached the chorus, you and Marco joined in, accompanying Jean. Eventually, you loosened up to a point where all three of you were able to dance slightly to the beat during the bridge. This seemed to get the crowd going even more and you let out a laugh, completely forgetting your inhibitions. [I imagined them performing Queen of White Lies]

Once the song finished, Jean introduced himself, and you prepared yourself for another half an hour of playing and dancing. But it passed quickly and before you knew it you we’re all sat on the sofa. Connie was still flushed chugging on his 3rd bottle of water whilst the rest of you leant back with smiles upon your faces. Your attention was piqued as The Scouts took the stage and you all shouted words of encouragement to them. This brought a smile to their faces, including a small smirk on Levi’s. You all rushed to the sidelines to watch and we’re in awe as you saw the four of them play as if they were reading each other's minds. It was as if they were symbiotic, each knowing what to do without even the slightest hesitation.

Even though you tried to focus on all of them, your focus always came back to Levi. You watched how his brow rested into a scowl as he neared a faster part of the song and how he threw his head back when lost in the moment. Your eyes widened when he took his shirt off after four songs, which Jean noticed, and started to nudge you for. Time seemed to go by so quickly that you barely noticed them finish their final song. They waved to the crowd as they left but stayed in the wings as the crowd screamed for an encore. Erwin still seemed to smile and nudged Levi towards the five of you.

“Do you guys want to join us for the encore?” He asked gruffly, his eyes set on you. You looked at the rest of the band and you all nodded before you verbally replied.

“Of course! What song are you thinking?”

“Nirvana - Love Buzz? You guys know it?” Miche asked, wiping some water from his chin. You all nodded in unison and before you know it you were all kitted up and back on stage.

The crowd went wild seeing both The Scouts and The 104th back on stage and you couldn’t help but smile as you found Levi stood next to you. You guys let loose on the song and you even attempted to have a little contest with Levi during the guitar solo for dominance. This gained a smile for the man, and you guys finished the song in no time.

Leaving the stage for the last time, you gave out a clumsy bow before running off stage. You guys went to get changed and pack up your gear but before you could get in the van the Scouts we’re back in front of you. Erwin took the lead yet again.

“We loved having you guys on stage with us! And after some thinking, we’d love it if you replaced our old band with us on the rest of the tour.”

At this Jean slammed the van door and stared at Erwin in shock. The five of you looked at each other in shock. The silence was eventually broken by Connie, who let out a scream as he ran around the van, followed by Sasha letting out profanities. The rest of you gushed and thanked the other band profusely not knowing how to appropriately respond. After formally Sasha accepted the other, Hange launched into giving out hugs, whilst Miche and Erwin gave out handshakes. Levi ignored the rest of your bandmates and made his way to you.

“I look forward to more guitar battles.” Levi remarked as dryly as ever but with a small smirk playing on his lips. Luckily this time, the others were too distracted and you were able to reply with some confidence.

“You mean to look forward to losing right?” you quipped, knowing this would be the start of something great.

#aot au #snk imagines #aot imagines #attack on titan imagine #shinegki no kyojin imagine #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi imagine #levi ackerman imagine #aot au imagine #aot x reader #snk x reader #snk #aot

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tetsuroyaoyaoya · 3 years

Text

A sigh left your lips as you stared blankly at the grey door standing before you. You knew that piece of wood was the only thing standing between you and your relationship - not that it even existed yet - but its still seemed so daunting. The last of your hope barely existed now, and no matter how much you tried to envision a happy ending for yourself, it just didn't seem possible, at least not with Semi.

Even with your problems and your doubts, the most important thing right now was the band and its fans. If you couldn't coax Semi back to Miyagi by tonight, then... you weren't actually sure what would happen, but you had a feeling that it wouldn't be good for you and Semi, or the band either.

You reached a hand up, resting your hand on the door before pulling back and knocking thrice.

Somewhere deep within you, you were expecting an answer, and something told you there was hope yet, so you knocked again.

Three.

Two.

One.

To anyone else, it must have seemed crazy that you were in this part of the district, banging on some random door in an empty building, and at this point, you could only agree.

What were you doing? Chasing after some boy who clearly didn't want you, when you should’ve just stayed at home with your friends. You thought about doing exactly that, returning home, having your usual movie night sleepover, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

Shirabu and Taichi were your friends now too, and you couldn’t let them down.

With one last longing look, you finally turned away, hopefully leaving Semi behind you now, and made your way out of the building, ready to go back to Miyagi.

It was almost showtime.

---

“Y/N! I missed you!” You barely had time to brace yourself as a body flung itself at you, a blur of clothes and hairspray. A cough forced itself from you at the overwhelming scent, and the body, who revealed itself to be Taichi, backed away, a look of regret on his face.

“Sorry...” You shrugged and smiled, reaching over to adjust the lapel on his denim jacket.

“No luck then?” Your gaze slid over to Shirabu, who knew the answer the second you looked at him. He sighed, but smiled back, trying to hide how hurt he felt.

The journey home had taken longer without the aid of Kenma’s helicopter, and so it was barely fifteen minutes until the show, meaning there was very little hope of Semi showing if he wasn't here now. It also meant that the two remaining members has very little time to come up with a plan on how to play a whole show with just the two of them.

You began to panic as you watched them finishing getting ready, a knot in your throat as you began to come to the realisation that you were most likely the cause of the situation. Taking a few steps backwards, you removed yourself from the room, away from the mania of the dressing room. You needed a second to collect your thoughts, the venue suddenly way too hot and stuffy for your liking.

Escaping out of a fire exit, you swallowed heavily as the cool evening air hit your skin. You tried to slow down the thoughts running circles in your mind, and came to the realisation that you don't remember the last time you had a moment to yourself to think quietly.

It must have been before the party for Kenma’s company, you guessed, sine that was before the scandal and all of this drama you were putting yourself through. It was at the point where you couldn't actually remember how peaceful your life had been before. You had grown used to - and maybe even fond of - the chaos. It also helped that you had three new friends to keep it all in control.

Chaos in Control.

How fitting.

“Y/N!” Your head sprung up, squinting your eyes to see through the darkness as the alley was only dimly lit by the small light above the exit door.

A familiar turf of grey hair came into view as Semi jogged towards you, already dressed ready to go on stage, guitar slung over his back.

“They haven't started yet, have they? Look, I’m sorry-” He didn't have time to finish as his head snapped to the side, a sharp sting in his cheek. He reached a hand up to sooth it, wincing as he made contact with the skin.

“Ow?” He looked back at you, eyes wide as he saw tears forming in your eyes, even though you looked as though you could murder him on the spot.

“The show starts in five fucking minutes and you have the audacity to show up now? Seriously? I don't think I’ve ever met anyone as self-centred, arrogant... selfish!” Taking in a deep breath to calm yourself, you refused to look away from him. It clearly didn't work through, as the boy across from you couldn't help but crack a smile, letting out a laugh as he stepped forward, pulling you into his arms and wrapping them around you.

As cliche as it sounded, it felt like you fit perfectly into him, your bodies moulding together as one as you relished in the warmth of the embrace. Eventually, you relaxed, giving into the feelings you were barely holding back, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I missed you.” You held your breath at the words, so quiet as his voice was muffled in your hair, but clear enough to cause your mind to falter, your resolve wearing thin as you tried your best to stay mad at him. He deserved it, after all.

“I’m sorry.” You let out the breath as your attempt to hate him crumbled before you, not being able to resist the whisper of his breath brushing over your ear. You finally lifted your own arms up, wrapping them around his waist, reciprocating the hug.

He squeezed you tighter for a moment, partly out of relief that you hadn't pushed him away yet, and partly because he really had missed you, and he was going to savour every moment with you from now on.

It wasn't long, however, until the screams of the fans inside the venue began, and you both separated in a panic. With a silent understanding between the two of you, Semi grabbed your hand and pulled you into the building, you trying to keep up the best you could.

It looked weird with only two of the band stood up on the stage, but you knew Semi was actually here, and he himself would be up on that stage in a moment as well, taking his place where he truly belonged.

He parted with you at the side of the stage, and you quickly helped him take his guitar out of his case and pushing it off to the side out of the way.

He hesitated before going out on stage, quickly turning last second you peck you on the cheek, leaving you a blushing mess as he joined the band and you tried to mingle in with the first few rows of the crowd.

The boys looked surprised, but nevertheless happy, to see Semi, although you knew he was in for a major scolding when the show was over.

Even so, they got on the show, and even from the first song you could tell the energy was much better than it had been the week before. Semi looked as though he had finally figured himself out, and it affected his performance in the best way it possibly could have. You just hope it stayed that way.

It got to the end, and you were readying yourself to help empty the venue when the band had said their final words when Semi suddenly silenced the crowd.

“Actually, we - well, I - have one more song for you all.” The crowd mumbled between themselves in excitement, and Shirabu and Taichi glanced at each other, shrugging.

“This is the first time this song has ever been played and heard by anyone other than myself, so please bear with me if it isn't the best. Its not like its my job or anything.” The crowd cheered in support, and so did you, unable to resist a smile at the cheeky grin that spread across Semi’s face as he walked over to the side of the stage, a member of staff switching his electric guitar for an acoustic one.

“Many of you know by know that I have a beautiful, amazing girlfriend, who is somewhere out in the crowd tonight.” His eyes scanned the crowd, lingering on you for maybe just a moment longer than he should have, as the people around you began to whisper and gossip.

“I have to admit, I’m a pretty shit boyfriend. I really don't deserve her. But no matter how much of a dick I am to her or anyone else, she sticks by me. She likes me for me, and I couldn't ask for anything more.” There were a few ‘awh’s and you couldn't keep the grin off of your face.

“So, this is my present to her, for putting up with me. Here’s the Story of Us.”

It wasn't until a few weeks later, when the whole band was in the recording studio, reimagining the song that you ever actually heard it, because you were pretty sure you just blacked out after that point, too preoccupied with your heard beating out of your chest to listen to it. All you could see were Semi’s eyes shining under the stage lights as he strummed expertly on the strings of his guitar, literally serenading his way into you heart.

You didn't notice the tears running down your face until you could taste them as the song ended, and there was no time to wipe them away because suddenly Semi was handing his guitar to Taichi and jumping off stage, pushing his way through the crowd to get to you.

He was in front of you in a blink, hand on your cheeks, lips meeting yours for the first time in what felt like forever.

You could see the flashes of cameras even with your eyes closed, but you didn't care.

Finally, your happy ending. Not exactly in the way you imagined, but just as amazing.

The chaos was finally controlled.

---

You groaned as you looked at the empty venue, knowing you were one of the people who had to clean up after the crowd.

Semi hadn't left your side since the end of the concert, and you had to physically pry him off of you so that you could leave, earning a chuckle from him as you struggled, before he finally left you go, leaving him alone with his two band members.

He allowed himself to relish in the moment before turning serious.

“I know you have a crush on her.” It was difficult to see exactly who he was talking to, but the other boy cracked a smile, looking directly back at Semi.

“What did he say?” Taichi whipped his head around so quickly it was a wonder he didn't get whiplash.

“Kuroo let slip then?” Shirabu sighed, his secret finally out in the open.

“Yeah, he popped by last night. Now that I look back though, it wasn't exactly subtle.”

“You clearly didn't notice.” Semi laughed at the sarcasm, not at all mad at his friend.

“Nah, I’ll get comfy in the friend zone. I quite like it here.” Semi rolled his eyes, bringing both his boys in for a group hug.

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

TWENTY-THREE - STORY OF US

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* updates every monday *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

one chapter left :(

its going to be a short one as well as its more of an epilogue. full tracklist coming soon.

previous || masterlist || next

taglist: @chaelysian, @mybbysuguwara, @jeez-niki, @iwaisa, @reyya-rea, @xathxnax, @4kaashl, @woah-there-cowboy-or-cowgirl, @kac-chowsballs, @celamoon, @eitadesu, @kingkagss, @macchiatoast, @lexysclubhouse, @cowward, @sun-daddy-yoriichi, @bbyouamazin, @flrtykawas, @attixca, @introvertatitsfinest, @sadcosmicdoggie, @keijikunn, @amberalisa, @a-moon-fairy, @missalienqueen, @mirikusashes, @ohayoposts, @sunflwrsandprettyskies, @tarasaoristark, @mxngy, @akkaso, @xstormiii, @haikyuufairy, @simpforkurootetsu, @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney, @clulesspurble, @vicassa, @leinnah, @stinkybitch1919, @agaashesmilktea, @asunflower, @sugawater, @quiche-inoya, @hoekageyama, @darkangeldesignstudio, @crescenttooru, @tsum-tsxmus

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #hq #hq smau #smau #semi #semi eita #semieita #semi x reader #semi eita x reader #shiratorizawa #shiratorizawa x reader #shiratorizawa smau

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lsobelevans · 3 years

Text

Horror tropes? In my Roswell, New mexico? It’s more likely than you think!

In this essay I will...

...be mentioning a few horror/thriller movies and while nothing explicitly gory or scary will be shown in this post, those movies definitely contain scenes and themes that can be disturbing/scary/triggering, do your researches if you’ve got doubts!

...be focusing on the Maria and Alex road-trip, from the moment the car breaks down to the last scene with Travis’ twin. I’m probably going to be led to briefly mention the other scenes that are intertwined with this arc (the echo date and the Planet 7 Kyle and Isobel scene, as well as the marlex car drive when I feel like it is relevant).

...be approaching specific themes that are used in the scenes that compose this little arc and also more general ones like sound, editing, cinematography and color.

... be reaching a lot. I do not think everything I will be mentioning is 100% thought-out and voluntary (although you never know). But I’m a firm believer that in filmmaking, yes even inside a CW show, the symbolism comes through subconsciously. So like, maybe they didn’t mean to use corn field as a mark for transition, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that this symbolism works with the story they’re telling and for the journey the characters are in that moment. Additionally, lighting, decor and costumes are always a choice, just like the camera doesn’t position itself randomly, someone’s behind and thinking of the composition of shots that, even if it’s in a basic way, has meaning.

... be starting chronologically but I’ll also make jumps backward and forward, grasping on themes when they come up. Ok, then, let’s dive in!

This episode references and uses a lot of the iconic mechanisms of the horror movie genre. Alex and Maria’s comfortable road trip atmosphere, open hearted conversation in the car, breaks at the same time as the car itself breaks. The camera, steady so far, the shots following a well known pattern of shot/counter-shot, becomes more unpredictable and shakier and suddenly we’re out of the car, and bam, large shot.

From the moment they’re out of the car, you won’t be able to see the horizon. Maria and Alex are stuck in a corn field, and they’re stuck in the frame.

Then poof, Travis appears out of nowhere, accompanied with a pang of music, frightening us and them. Well, more exactly, it cuts on a shot that we’ve seen before without Travis, now with Travis, which gives us the appearing out of nowhere effect.

Alex says it best.

Well now they’re stuck with a strange guy with an axe, and in a corn field 😬

Hey, have you seen he’s got an axe??? or do you need a close-up???

Okay, this scene ends there. So, let’s take a break and talk about cornfields. There’s many examples of horror movies making use of a field of corn as a location, famously Children of the Corn (1984), Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1995) Signs (2002), that last one also involving, you guessed it, aliens.

Screenshots from the Signs trailer.

Corn fields are strongly associated with rurality, especially rural America. More largely, they can represent renewal, fertility or abundance. In the contrary, they can be seen as a very ominous location due to their immensity, a labyrinth in which you can’t see very far away and from which you’ll have trouble coming out.

Although I’m pretty sure Maria’s chase in the cornfield is more of a reference to The Shining (1980) it reminded me of one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies Tom à la ferme (2013), in which Tom is basically held hostage in rural Canada. The corn field chase is a turning point, the last of Tom's attempts to escape.

Cornfields apparently also often imply scarecrows, which are inherently scary in my opinion but we’ll talk about it more later.

The next scene takes place inside of Travis' cabin.

The lighting here is pretty low, the light coming from a few small sources, creating a lot of shadows. The main color is a greenish/yellow which can be associated with nature and earth, rurality, dirty, suffocating. If we look at it, the color scheme of the entire road trip is very much following this pattern of browns/yellows/greens because of the cornfield and the color of the characters costumes (the exception being Maria’s truck which is a bright red). In opposition, the scenes that are intertwined are either blue and orange for Max and Liz or a lot of pink/blues/purples for Isobel and Kyle in planet 7 (bi bi bi).

The cabin is messy, supposedly reflecting the state of the owner’s mind. We get a nice close-up on meat + a knife and all of the creepy skins on the walls. Also, it’s noticeable that from this moment on, the camera is shakier, we experience different angles too.

We are given many visual clues that something is wrong.

I’m gonna pass on the sound of the sound of the cow parodying a werewolf + the vampire diaries inside joke.

Btw, if the fact that Travis names his cows -- that he skins for a living -- like human women isn’t enough for you to think mmmm. we are in danger. Well, don’t worry. The cw spells it out for you!!

We know Alex! We got contextual clues!

Right after this, Alex and Maria make another direct reference to being in a horror movie situation.

ALEX: This is why I don’t like horror films. The gay guy always dies first.

MARIA: ????

ALEX: Or... second. Okay, that’s fair. That look, that’s fair.

I think this bit is interesting, because not only does it denounce an horror movie cliché (the black person of the cast dies first, the queer person is second) but also in this situation I believe it can be see as kind of a callout on the fandom’s behavior that i’m not gonna spell out for you but yeah. Fellow queer people, don’t forget you’re not the only one who is sometimes badly/unfairly represented.

Moving on. In the next scene, Alex is searching the cabin for clues, and we are also given some about Travis.

Either he has a twin brother or he’s got a framed picture of himself on his wall. Oh, and he’s military.

Then Travis startles Alex and plays a little bit of banjo, which is a good excuse to stop and talk about music. The show uses a lot of diegetic music aka music that is present in the universe of the story, that the characters can also hear. It justify the use of said music and it ties the audio with the picture.

The banjo already is heard at the very beginning of the arc during a cut from the planet 7 scene to the road trip scene. We get a few notes that indicate a change of scenery and that helps smooth up the transition, and I’m pretty sure it was also supposed to be diegetic music coming from Maria’s radio. The banjo, like the corn field, is super linked with rurality and rural America (again!)

Another reference of the banjo in horror/thriller would be Deliverance (1972).

youtube

I can’t not think of this movie when I hear banjo unfortunately.

The way Travis plays, aggressively bad, and while singing I Think We’re Alone Now, is supposed to make you think about that scene in The Umbrella Academy be quite unsettling, another point for isolation horror.

So sweet of Travis to attack Alex with a guitar, and then a smol knife, and not with the axe <3.

Then we’ve got a traveling zoom-in (or equivalent I’m not sure it isn’t a steady-cam here but the effect is the same) on Maria. This kind of effect can feel a little bit over-the-top and dramatic, in a old genre movie kind of way. It is usually used to bring the audience in, make it feel like you’re evolving in the same universe as the characters (here you’re walking toward Maria). In a scene where you should feel scared, it can be a mean to make you feel more engaged, as well as underlining Maria’s expression, her fear. In my opinion, this is also a way to tell you that from now on, Maria is the main character of this arc, the one that you will be following after the commercial break (that occurs right after) and making it more suspenseful.

The scene after the break is the start of the corn-field chase. Travis steps out of the cabin, the cuts are faster, many close-shots, some even out of focus, that accelerate the rhythm, and a long fade-in of a new song: a modern, electronic song (Kim Petra’s Close You Eyes) completely in opposition with the acoustic banjo and with the atmosphere of the scene, which makes it strange and makes you think oh, what a weird choice! (at least it did for me lol). The lyrics, however, go very well with the scene.

I feel it coming on You've got nowhere to run There's no way you'll make it out alive

Yep.

We find out right after that the music is in fact diegetic but for Isobel and Kyle, it’s another use of music to ease a transition between 2 scenes that are different in every possible way.

Now, the corn-field chase. As I mentioned before, I believe it’s a direct reference to The Shining’s ending chase scene where Jack Torrance chases his son Danny through a vegetal labyrinth with an axe.

From the shots to the lighting (from behind or on the side, making the characters look like silhouettes) both scenes are very similar. Also, Travis is styled like Jack Nicholson ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh look, Michael’s here to save the day!

Oh well, guess not.

Yeah, in this scene, and like we’ve been shown before, Maria is going to be the one that saves everyone. The racist cliché of the black character dying first in a horror movie is reversed, Maria is the last one standing. The scarecrow (that looked conveniently a lot like Maria) is supposed to play in favor of the bad guy, it’s a scary element, creating confusion and unease, but here the character decides to basically take it into her own hands and bend the rules. This character says i’m not that archetype, and she’s going to be using the horror movie tools against itself.

Lastly, the final horror movie recurring theme that I’m going to talk about is the twin/the double.

Yes, twins is a spooky tool used in horror movie because their similarities make them unsettling, uncanny.

There’s also the idea that if one were to replace the other, you wouldn’t be able to tell. The impostor is a very scary concept that Roswell has also dealt with before.

I can’t be the only one that has been traumatized by that halloween special of the Simpsons where Bart has an evil twin...

It’s the last twist of the arc, there is a bad!Travis and a good!Travis. The bad one kept the other locked-up somewhere and had taken his place.

It’s particularly interesting for Roswell that has a history with twins/doppelgänger, and that since the original show. It is a clear instance of in-world foreshadowing here! (howdy)

My conclusion about all this is that the people who worked on 2x06 had a great time building the episode and it shows, while also making it enjoyable to watch and yeah, we love to see it!

#roswellmarchformeta2021 #rnmmarchformeta2021 #meta #or whatever this is ahah #tw violence #i'm so sorry i'm late for this ;___;#mine*

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starf · 2 years

Text

StarF's Top Ten Albums of 2021

IT'S TIME LET'S GOOO!!!

10. bbno$ - eat ya veggies

I'm not going to lie, I struggled hard with the #10 spot on this list. There were a ton of great albums in 2021 and narrowing down what wasn't going to make it on the list was tough. In fact up until just a couple days ago the number 10 spot was reserved for Greatest Hits by Waterparks, another cool album and their best release in awhile. All of this is sort of my way of cheating my own system and giving that Waterparks album the unofficial 11th spot on the list.

However, I realized that even now deep into January of 2022 that I'm still consistently listening to eat ya veggies and just having so much fun! This album definitely comes out swinging harder in the first half than the second, but it's still a fun ride the entire way through. And what I can only assume is a formula based on streaming and TikTok trends sees every song but one coming in at under three minutes, which means if you don't like a jam it'll be over soon.

In fact that may be my only real gripe with the album, because when I do like a song (such as the absolute banger that is "edamame") I wish it went on for a little longer. Obviously the entire point is to loop it faster to get more streams, but damn dude.

9. You, Me, And Everyone We Know - Something Heavy

I discovered the band You, Me, And Everyone We Know in 2015, which made their breakup in 2016 pretty tough to handle. I got in on what I thought was their final release (the Dogged EP) and fell in love with the back catalog. I even drove to Chicago to see their final show, which was an absolute blast.

So imagine my surprise and excitement when out of nowhere they dropped a new single and announced that they were releasing a new album. Something Heavy delivers a cautious optimism painted in the signature sound I've come to expect from this band. I wish there were more eyes, or ears as it were, on this band because they seem to be very underrated from what I can tell.

8. Timbuktu - It's Alright In The Daylight

Hey speaking of artists who sort of just came back out of nowhere, I've been a big fan of Timbuktu's album Stranger Danger for like a decade now. There was another album in 2014 that for whatever reason didn't really capture my attention in quite the same way, and then nothing for awhile. In 2020 Tim dropped Million Pound Note, which I enjoyed quite a bit but still didn't top my list. Given the pattern I expected it would be quite a wait until we saw another Timbuktu album again. But surprise! A year later another offering hot off the press, and this one is killer front to back.

It's Alright In The Daylight manages to recapture the energy and vibe that got me hooked on Stranger Danger back in the day. I don't know exactly what it is or how to explain it, but in my opinion it's his best album since then. If you're looking for some good chilled out hip hop then look no further than this album.

7. Fishboy - Waitsgiving

Oh boy, another storybook from none other than Fishboy! If you've read my lists before you'll no doubt be familiar with Fishboy, and my affinity for his album Art Guards. This new offering takes a similar approach in format, each song following a specific character as the album weaves together a narrative to follow.

While this particular story didn't captivate me in quite the same way that Art Guards does, it's still a wonderful addition to the catalog, and a fun journey to listen to. The pianos are bouncy, the guitars are jaunty, the tunes are catchy, and perhaps most of all it's nice to listen to music that's just not based in reality. If you still haven't given Fishboy a chance, this would be a fine place to start!

6. Marc With A C - low fidelity (or "how i spent the nervous breakdown")

While we all may be turbofucked, ttist and (full disclosure) someone I am delighted to be able to call my friend. Friends aside, that has no influence on where or why this album is on this list. It's here because it's a damn fine album. Throughout his discography up to this point I would say there are sort of two sides to Marc's music, a lot of the earlier albums which are mostly striped down jams based around an acoustic guitar, filling out more and more around Motherfuckers Be Bullshittin'. Low Fidelity is a massive (by today's standards) album that combines both avenues of Marc's music into a reflection of this world.

While we all may be turbofucked, at least we can go down with the ship listening to some good music. One of my favorite additions to this album that haven't been prevalent in previous Marc With A C albums is the addition of instrumental pieces such as Sleepwriting and Not Sure Exactly Where... that are gorgeous and give the album a good sense of pacing. This album serves as the final act of "Phase I" of Marc With A C, and it's a great finale to go out on. I'm excited to see where we go from here!

5. Telethon - Swim Out Past The Breakers

More nepotism?! No! I just have a lot of really cool friends who make incredible music! Telethon, who stunned me solid in 2017 with their album The Great Spontanean and kept the hype train moving in 2019 with Hard Pop have returned once again with a great offering in Swim Out Past The Breakers.

Having solidified their sound as the aforementioned hard pop, this album continues seeing them do what they do best: writing jams that are as catchy and infectious as they are dense and packed with feeling. Come for the fun tunes, and stay for the lyrics that will have you looking back on your life asking "why am I like this?," but, you know, in a good way.

4. The Death Set - How To Tune A Parrot

The Death Set released what I consider to be a perfect album back in 2011 called Michel Poiccard. Then they seemingly disappeared off the face of the Earth. A full decade later they re-emerged and didn't miss a step at all. Sounding fresh of the heels of their 2011 album, How To Tune A Parrot is still as fresh, electric, and vital as ever. I don't really have much else to say about this except you absolutely must give it a chance, because it is a wild ride.

3. Rare Americans - RA2

Rare Americans is a band I discovered in late 2020, and luckily I didn't have to wait too long to get the experience of listening to a new album from them! Actually I got that experience twice last year because they release both RA2 and RA3 within the year. The latter, also titled Jamesy Boy & The Screw Loose Zoo was literally also good enough to be on this top ten list. In fact in my first iteration of the list I had both albums on it. Ultimately though I decided to just give it up for what I think is the more solid of the albums and leave RA3 off (but you should absolutely listen to both).

Rare Americans combines so many elements that speak to me. Musically they combine hip hop and rock music in a way that is not, I repeat, not the "rap-rock" you might associate those words with. Combining these vocal elements with all sorts of fun musical styles, instruments, and sound effects, they weave narrative tales with colorful characters, and throughout all of this make each song unique and infectious along the way. There was definitely a portion of time early in the year before this album came out that I had the song Hullabaloo on repeat for weeks. Give it a listen, and if you like what you hear make sure you watch the music videos as well!

2. Aesop Rock x Blockhead - Garbology

Aesop Rock is somehow as prolific as he is talented, releasing album after album year after year without ever missing. Sure, some may be weaker than others, but overall they're never bad. I surely need to learn to stop doubting that a new Aes project won't live up to the hype in my head, because every time a new album is announced I think "another one? already?! it has to be too much!" but it never is!

Garbology is my favorite Aes project since 2019's Malibu Ken, which in Aes years feels like a lifetime ago. Taking up a loose concept around garbage and the theory of garbology (the study of a culture by examining its waste), Aesop Rock digs into the dumpster fire that is our own society and returns with a collection of insights and gems laid over thick and enchanting Blockhead beats. It's grimy, it's dirty, but what else would you expect?

1. Cheekface - Emphatically No.

The first time I heard a Cheekface song randomly come up on a Spotify playlist I knew I loved it. That said, I didn't expect to be quite as taken with their album as I was. Emphatically No. is so immediately accessible and entertaining. Almost every day a random song from this album, or its b-sides (titled Emphatically Mo. which also appeared on my favorite EPs list) pops into my head. I don't know how to explain what they've done hear, but they've perfected their own formula to a degree that their band name should probably just be Earworm.

Speaking of band names, I hate having to tell people to listen to Cheekface. I think it's a bad name, and yet here we are, and I'm telling you emphatically yes that you should listen to this album. It may not be for everybody, but for the people that it is for it'll be a heavy hitter very fast. Combining often sarcastic or sardonic lyrics, the deadpan delivery of verses is expertly transitioned into catchy hooks that will have you singing along by the second chorus on your first listen.

This album is fun, it's insightful, it's cynical yet optimistic. And overall it's just a good time. I am shocked that in all of the top lists for 2021 I've seen so far I haven't seen anyone talking about this album at all, because for me it was probably the thing I listened to most over the year.

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nobody-knose--archive · 3 years

Text

finally got around to listening to sketches 3d today and man! man! oh boy! liveblog under the cut!

-piano. exactly what i was expecting

-vibrato huh

-ayyy that's some. funky percussion

-this is like the fullerenes or something. a song about an Interesting Lady

-and there's that one grainy string synth/sample that andrew uses a lot & also appears in hawaii part ii

-more percussion. this is so cool

-i wasn't expecting this to be quite so minor key

-man if that was courtney on the flute there i think that'd be sick

-sing it andrew!

-i'm already having a more cheery time than i did with nat

-zubin???

-i will absolutely have to review that voice

-wait what the fuck is happening to her

-darling you good?

-anyway. classic andrew horowitz funky out-of-tune synths

-rattle rattle

-more out of tune piano. what song is this

-oh shit!!! this is the song my friends like

-tambourine <3

-you & me? sides of a coin? good & evil?

-so weird hearing all these lyrics i've seen in the song channel sung aloud for real

-andrew is doing some good singing here. he's good at carrying the melody on his own even though i've not heard much of that from him in the past save fate of the stars maybe

-he's always been good at that percussion

-all different types of percussion. tinny little gong like it's the whole world & you acoustic

-tambourine <3 <3

-so incredibly weird knowing what the lyrics are going to be without knowing what the song sounds like. i know how these words go in order but don't know how the melody carries them

-interesting thing about sketches so far. it's very strong & powerful but it doesn't block out the world like other new songs will. i'm not being taken somewhere else it's more like the whole rest of the world is being highlighted

-alright what's next?

-7/4 hummingbird????? or is this 6/4???

-no no no it's 5/4 and doing funky things with the onbeat i love this

-asking questions to a little creature is the best kind of pasttime and i mean that

-man andrew mixed this really well he's just. incredible at that

-he's making each song distnict while also giving sketches a clear theme

-a minor turn. i like that

-now what could this be?

-not lemons & pears yet?

-daisy fingers hell yes

-another song about a lady

-spoke mostly harmony oh you clever man

-thank you andrew for doing more with time signatures than tally hall ever did. first 5/4 and now 6/8

-the combination of very out of tune & rough percussions and incredibly beep bloopy synths is so cool

-conversations with a lady. this feels like a story of andrew visiting another world and being like "might as well write some songs about the fellows and stories round here"

-the whole album, i mean

-i am inspired by you, andrew

-this whole album is everything i could've hoped for and more

-the interesting thing about it is how few questions i find myself asking. i'm just looking at this stuff i have and being like wow! &, cool! not what i usually do with new albums

-divine inspiration bay be

-that's like. the opposite of an 80s fadeout

-oh that is absolutely the little sfx from the beginning of perfect at the end

-wait speaking of at the end

-no this is have a nice day interludinal

-is this a polyrhythm? there's a 4/4 type thing in the background and the foreground is. not on the onbeat i can say that much

-man i am going to have a nice day

-he's a good musician, able to make so much music out of a single interval

-lemons & pears!!!!

-toy orchestra my beloved that's the fuckin toy piano bay be wooooo

-but man oh boy does this sound absolutely different with only a one single guy singing

-ukulele in the bg? toy orchestra <3

-interesting being able to actually hear like. all of the lyrics for real

-some of the little riffs are gone and there are quite a many more

-hello?

-oh okay

-yeah i heard about the fucking gunshots that doesn't mean i was prepared for them

-the chorus sounds so nice i love this

-guest vocals?????????? whomst????????????

-who is this lady i'm so curious is she from the old toy orchestra? that'd be amazing

-breakdown time and it sounds so similar to the toy orchestra one. man

-at the end is. not the end of the album

-i think the thing that's getting me and not prompting as many questions is the fact that like. i hear these songs and hear tally hall songs. andrew's singing & i could hear this on a tally hall album with ease. it's strange

-i think the hi-hat and other little bits in this song, for example, reminds me of ross

-andrew's always tried hard at rock, and percussion is a massive part of that-wait he's scat singing i can finish that thought later i love this

-his songs are also very easy to sing along to without meaning to. first time hearing them and here i go

-anyway percussion is a massive part of rock, andy's always had an affinity for percussion, i think that's what's making me think of tally hall so much, or at least be. comfortably experiencing this in the same way i would a tally hall album

-i can't say the same of hawaii part ii

-if there's anywhere that lists the credits somewhere i'd like to see if ross worked on this at all but. i'm pretty sure he didn't

-where am i-oh shit a crowd

-nowhere else this is a song i think i know nothing about

-all that shit i was saying about rock percussion and now there's a whole entire drumkit going here

-alrighty

-that is not only andrew singing! again! who are you

-.....casey shea?????

-you sound like casey shea sir??????

-you are either casey shea or someone else who sounds like a beatle (affectionate, instead of derogatory)

-good guitar shit

-is that a third voice or does andrew just sound like that?

-madi diaz???

-i'm probably just guessing her because of the rendezvous but. there's gotta be someone more

-a whole lot of love going on here and i do appreciate it

-is it 80's fadeout time now? hell yeah

-oh yes the rainbow connection! a cover and the final song of the album (not counting the bonus tracks, which i will be listening to)

-i think i may have heard this before? or at least the minor rendition

-stylophone?

-humming. classic move

-theremin??

-music box is also cool. i swear i won't just be commentating on the instrumence alright

-what on earth is this sample in the background. steadily getting louder

-man andrew is a great singer. the consistent double vocals/heavy vibrato suits him well

-i will assume these are samples from like. the muppets movie

-does sketches (3d or otherwise) have a pdf like hwptii & nat? i sure hope so because i will enjoy looking at it

-vocalizing again let's a go

-more gong wahoo

-bonus track time <3

-tomorrow & today is a song i know pretty damn well i hope he's more legible now

-mostly the same as the 2011 version but it certainly is updated i can tell. more echo on these beginning lines

-piano is stronger. there may or may not be some added flairs. not a whole lot blatantly changed but i can say. i'll remove the 2011 version and replace it with this one for charlie

-there's a riff in my right ear that i don't remember and i like it

-this bit right here is more legible in general thank god it was incomprehensible originally

-the stomping percussion is Goin places

-and to end the whole song- you know yesterday fueled by a listen of nat i came up with an abundance of thoughts on writing styles in tally hall and especially how andrew's songs go places and what the journey's like and while that essay really won't fit into this liveblog i really enjoy how tomorrow & today has no destination in mind and it's a gradual trip but you never look back

-such strong g&e vibes

-misfortune bay be! time to replace the other misfortune charlie has with this

-sheet music???? jenny where did you find this? [referring to the image used in the video she uploaded i listened to] also this is still not the whole song i know the original misfortune wasn't but it feels strange to start this far into the song

-chords my beloved i could fucking play this song i'm so hyped about that

-toy orchestra solid soda real <3

-the one and only studio recording toy orchestra did. this is some of the best evidence for steve gallagher's voice we have

-also the audio is higher quality than the yt upload i think

-oh a casio organ not a real organ. okay i can't complain

-i like the sound of the piano at least. also this is horrendously gorey i like it

-andrew horowitz horror writer extraordinaire

-these sound like the sorts of drum synths my electric organ has

-i actually can't tell if that one's a guest vocal or andrew just being a very very good singer

-this sounds like some sort of recording you'd take of your kid's music school performance

-oh it's over

-fuck that was good

#tally hall #shoutout to jenny yesac for uploading the version i listened to #and another shoutout to tallyall dot club for being my one-stop shop for charlie's tally hall mp3s #tis i #loolin liveblogs #i say this every time but if you want to know what the hell i'm talking about in these listen to the album as you read #and try to keep synced up as best as possible k #edu #anyway a few closing thoughts in the tags: andrew sure makes some good lengthy songs huh? less than nat but same in length #damn near all are over 3 minutes which i really appreciate. god why the hell wouldn't anyone listen to this album it's wonderful #i'm not sure if any of my guesses and questions about guest vocals & the like will be answered by anyone #but like. on that note. i have a sneaking suspicion i personally contain sketches knowledge few others have. only attained it very recently #as in like yesterday so good for me but. oh there's something to look forward to in about a month and a half #to the world and back again

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hyuniepot · 3 years

Text

the butterfly effect. || chapter 6

chapter word count || 5,372

genre || thriller, angst, drama

members || mark lee, na jaemin, lee jeno, huang renjun, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle, park jisung

warnings || mentions of death, implications of depression

pairing || fem!reader x jaemin || slight fem!reader x mark

synopsis || you never thought you’d be able to play with fate so easily, especially not through some shady app. but you suddenly must say goodbye to what you know and hello to a new world where everything seems perfect.

taglist || @gothboyjisung @jeongyoonohs @doiewonu @huanginjoon @wordsgodeep @colpen

previous chapter

You woke up way later than usual. You were still in the clothes you wore yesterday. You immediately got up and showered, changing into a new pair of clothes.

When you were done, you checked your phone.

Mark

hey, when do u wanna hang out?

you can come over here if u want.

or whatever. its fine

oh, you probably aren’t awake yet….

lol. let me know when ur awake.

You smile.

You

hey im awake now

i can come over to ur place, is any time fine?

i just gotta get ready and stuff

You set your phone down and look at yourself in the mirror, continuing to dry your hair. You know you still had to make your final decision on whether you were going to leave or not. Your mind couldn’t make a decision. There were pros and cons to doing both.

If you were to go back, you’d return to a life with no Mark and a Jisung who isn’t happy. But you’d have Hyuck. You’d have Jaemin, and Jeno and Renjun. You’d have your old friends back. You could use what you learned here to fix your life.

But Mark. He was the only thing stopping you. You wanted to take him along with you but you knew it was impossible. You just couldn’t imagine leaving him again when you had spent so long yearning for him to be back.

You jump at the sound of your phone dinging.

Mark

yea, come on over. i’ll be here all day hahah

You

got it. i’ll be there soon

You then clicked on Hyuck’s name to text him.

You

i know this is annoying but please give me the time i need. i’ll let you know tonight what my decision is.

You turned your phone off, grabbing your camera and putting it in your new bag. Jisung was in his room so you gently knock and wait for a response.

Jisung opens the door. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you respond. “I’m gonna go to Mark’s today, are you gonna be okay here alone?”

Your mother’s workload had definitely decreased, but she still worked long hours. You only got to see her in the mornings before school.

Jisung nods. “Yep, that’s fine.”

“Okay.” you exhale. “I’ll see you later, then.”

He nods, and you turn away and head downstairs. You make your way outside and start your journey to Mark’s house. Luckily, you had gone there once since you showed up, so you knew your way.

Everything was still so familiar. Of course it was; this was the town you grew up in after all. And that’s why it was so hard to differentiate from your old life sometimes. Everything still felt right at times.

You were glad Mark didn’t live too far away. You spotted him outside, sitting on one of the concrete stairs that lead to the porch. His face lights up when he spots you, getting up and making his way to you.

“What’s up?” he smiles.

“Nothing,” you reply. “What’s the plan for today?” you both continue making your way to his house.

“I don’t have anything planned, really…” he says, scratching his head. “We just chill for a bit and then figure out something if you want.”

You nod, going up the stairs to his porch. He opens the door, letting you in. You follow him up to his room, suddenly feeling nervous. You hadn’t been alone with Mark like this. You barely even knew how to be around him without feeling awestruck.

He opens the door to his room and it hits you. It was so perfectly… him. It was just what you expected, what you always imagined it would look like. An acoustic guitar stood in the corner of his room, bed haphazardly made. A record player was set up on the left side, the records he owned displayed on a nearby shelf. Posters of all different subjects were taped on the wall, some personal photos mixed in. You spotted one of you and Mark as children, one of the photos you always looked at when you missed him.

It hurt to look at everything. But you had to force your emotions aside.

“Yeah, had to switch up the old room,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets. “I think this looks way cooler.”

You nod. “It looks great.” your voice is barely audible. You couldn’t take your eyes off the photos on the wall.

“Oh,” Mark notices you staring at the wall. He walks to where his bed is, squatting down and pulling a book out from under it. “I found a whole photo album of old photos.” he says. He motions you to come sit down next to him, and you oblige.

He opens it. The first few pages were photos of him as a baby, but it quickly changed to photos of him as a kid. It didn’t take long for you to appear. You had seen them all before, but it was still nice to look at them. There were even pictures from your trip to the butterfly enclosure, an unsure look plastered across your face. Mark was beaming.

“Do you remember this?” Mark puts his finger on an old photo of you and him at a fair — huge grins on both of your faces. He laughs. “We rode a ride and I swore I was gonna get sick after it. You were so freaked out by it that you avoided me until I convinced you I felt better.”

You laugh. You did remember it. You remembered running away from him and staying at least 10 feet away until you finally gave in.

He turns a few pages. It was time to look at photos that you had never seen, stories that you had never heard, the things that could have been. You just tried to keep your breathing steady.

There’s a picture of you and him together in somewhat formal clothing — probably your first highschool dance. Hyuck and another boy you didn’t recognize stood behind you, giving both you and Mark bunny ears.

“You remember Johnny, right?”

That must have been the other boy. You just nodded. Of course, you had no idea who he was.

“He moved here when we were like 12, right?” he looks at the photo. “I miss him. I don’t get to talk to him a lot because he travels so he’s always in a different timezone but… when I do, it’s like he never left.” he adds.

You wrack your brain — did you ever know anyone named Johnny? You were sure you didn’t. He didn’t exist in your old life. But he had somehow been a part of your life in this universe at some point. He was visibly older — not by too much, but he was definitely more mature. It didn’t help that Mark had a baby face. He had brown, medium length hair that was kind of shaggy. He seemed charming. But since there was no sign of him in your phone, you assumed you didn’t keep in touch with him.

Mark flips the pages a few more times. There’s a picture of you, Mark, and Hyuck on what seemed to be your last halloween together. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint when, but you were probably 14 or 15. You were dressed up as Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Hyuck was dressed as the beast and Mark was dressed as Lumière, the candlestick.

You look at the girl in those photos. You wished you had her brain; You wished you remembered everything the way she did. Looking at yourself in the photos didn’t feel right. No matter what you did, you couldn’t convince yourself that it was you. Because technically, it wasn’t. Where was that girl now? Was she living your old life? Spending her days with Jaemin, desperately wishing for Mark?

“Are you okay?” you snap back to reality at the sound of Mark’s voice. He had closed the book and was looking at you with a concerned look on his face.

You let out an awkward chuckle. “Oh… yeah. I’m fine… I just kinda zoned out.”

“Yeah… you’ve been doing that a lot lately…” Mark stands up and slides the book back under his bed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You don’t want to reply. Your eyes start burning with tears.

“Yeah,” you reply softly.

“That’s why I wanted to hang out with you today. You’ve seemed so… off lately… No offense,” Mark sits back down and looks at you. “I don’t mean that in a mean way, I just mean… it seems like something is bothering you and… are you crying?”

Tears finally escape your eyes, cascading down your cheeks. You stay silent as Mark wraps his arms around you, tightly hugging you.

“Oh god, oh no… I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry.” Mark says.

You can’t help but smile as you cry into his chest. “No… it’s not your fault…”

He pulls away from the hug. “Is something actually wrong? You know you can talk to me… I heard bottling up your emotions isn’t healthy…”

You take your time collecting yourself to try and think of an excuse. Obviously you couldn’t tell him the real reason why you seemed so out of it -- oh yeah, Mark, I’m from a universe where you died and I ended up here because I used some app to wish for you back and I have literally no idea what’s going on half the time.

“I’m just stressed,” you tell him. “I’ve never been this stressed so I don’t really know how to deal with it.”

“Ah…” Mark nods. “I get it… I mean, we’re in our last year of school. Everyone’s gonna expect us to act like adults soon. It’s… scary.”

You nod, wiping your tears. I wish that was what I was stressed about.

And that’s when it clicks. You realize you don’t belong here. You were destined to live in a world without Mark. But that thought only makes you start crying again.

Mark hugs you again. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “Just let it out, okay?”

So you do. You let everything out. Your shoulders shake as you sob. To anyone, it would seem like you’re overreacting. Sobbing in your best friend’s arms because you’re stressed. But this was the one thing you felt like could make you feel better.

For years, you laid in your bed alone, sobbing because you missed Mark. Because you felt guilty. And if you weren’t crying over him, you wished he was there to comfort you. And now it finally happened, and you were gonna relish the moment. This was all you ever wanted.

You feel guilty — Mark just wanted to hang out and here you were, making him comfort you as you cried for God knows what.

You force yourself to stop crying. Mark lets you go and levels himself with you, wiping your face with his thumb. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks. “We’re best friends… you can tell me anything, y’know?”

You nod. “I know… I just… didn’t want to bother anyone.”

Mark furrows his brows. “Hey come on, don’t say that. You wouldn’t be bothering anyone. Don’t think like that.”

You hiccup. You could feel that your face was puffy from crying.

“Okay,” Mark stands up. “I think this calls for some relaxation, right? I’m gonna get a bunch of blankets and we’re just gonna lounge.” He grabs a spare blanket and wraps it around your shoulders, helping you stand up. He leads you to his basement. There was a large couch and a TV. You sit down.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” he asks.

You nod. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Mark turns the TV on. “Okay. I’ll find something for us to watch. Get comfortable, okay?”

You scoot around for a bit before finding a comfortable spot. The crying you did made your eyelids heavy.

Mark joins you on the couch, clicking through the TV guide, searching for something to watch. He clicks on a movie before opening his arms. “Come here.”

Maybe it wasn’t right, but you let him hold you. You listen to his heartbeat, trying to keep yourself awake until you couldn’t fight it anymore.

[4:27 p.m.]

Your eyes flutter open. You glance around, taking in your surroundings and remembering you were in Mark’s basement. You realize you were still in his arms. You quickly sit up, making Mark jolt awake.

“Oh shit,” he says, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Did we both fall asleep?” he chuckles.

You smile. “Yeah… looks like it.” You stretch your muscles. “Did you get to watch any of movie?”

“Nope.” Mark replies. “I think I fell asleep right after I realized you had,” he says softly.

You groan. “What time is it? We didn’t sleep through the day, did we?” you ask, suddenly nervous.

Mark pulls out his phone to check the time. He shakes his head. “Nope. Only about two and a half hours.”

You sigh in relief. It was still a long time, but at least it was still daytime. “Oh, good.”

“Do you wanna go get some food? We should probably get up so we don’t fall asleep again,” he laughs.

You smile. “Good idea.”

You both make your way upstairs and you retrieve your bag from Mark’s room before leaving the house. The weather, like yesterday, was nice. A light breeze blew, but it wasn’t cold thanks to the sun. You could hear children playing in a yard nearby. You and Mark made your way to a restaurant nearby. It was one that you didn’t recognize. It was a bit retro-themed and was decorated like a classic diner.

You and Mark sit down at a booth, looking at the menu. “We haven’t been to this place in forever… they got a bunch of new menu items.” Mark mumbles.

You look at the menu. It had all kinds of different types of burgers, but most importantly, milkshakes.

Mark gasped. “They got rid of the cookies ‘n cream milkshake? Are you kidding me?” he whines.

You laugh. “Really? That has to be a popular flavor.”

“Right? It’s so good too, I order it everytime. So why would they — oh, nevermind… they just rebranded it…” Mark says softly, hiding his face with the menu.

Your eyes find their way to the milkshakes; they had simply changed the name of the milkshake from Cookies ‘N Cream to Oreo. You giggle. “Dork.”

“Hey, come on! I was panicked, alright?” Mark laughs.

A waitress swings by and takes your orders — you just order a classic burger and fries with a milkshake with your favorite ice cream flavor.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket. You pull it out to see who’s calling. It’s Hyuck. “Um,” you swallow hard. “I’m gonna go wash my hands real quick.” you tell Mark.

He nods. “Alright.”

You get up from the booth and quickly walk to the bathroom. You close the door behind you, praying that it was empty. “Hello?”

“God, took you long enough.” Hyuck mutters.

“Why’d you call?” you sigh.

“Because I think we need to actually talk about this… I mean, if you decide to leave, I need to be able to tell you when to send the message.” he replies.

You roll your eyes. “I told you I would let you know later. I’m with Mark right now.”

“Are you serious?”

You pause. It’s deathly quiet. You can feel Hyuck’s anger through the phone. “He wanted to hang out, he asked me last night when he dropped me off… did you really think I’d say no?”

“You should’ve,” he sighs. “You know you’re only making it harder on yourself.”

You knew he was right. “I just… wanted to make some final memories before possibly leaving,” you tell him.

“I… understand.” Hyuck adds quietly. You hear him sigh. “You know this is hard on me too, right? I’m sorry I keep being so pushy but… I just wanna get out of here.”

It’s silent again. For the first time, you realize you never even thought about how Hyuck felt. You knew he missed Mark just as much as you did.

“That’s why I’ve been kinda distancing myself from him. Because the first day we were here, it was hell. All I could think about was that day… it’s all I can think about.” he says. You can barely hear him.

“Hyuck…” you whisper.

“Being here… with him… it’s too much for me to handle. You don’t think I feel the same way? I know this is a universe where we could both be happy with Mark, but something keeps telling me I can’t stay here. Too much has changed. I can’t be comfortable here.” Hyuck’s voice starts trembling. “Which is why I refused to spend any time with Mark. Because he’s the only reason I want to stay. But I miss my old life. I miss my friends. I don’t know what the hell went wrong here, but my life is just so much shittier here. Everything that could’ve gone wrong feels like it went wrong.” he rants.

You feel so much guilt for not taking the time to think about why he’d want to leave. You spent so much time thinking about yourself and Mark because you knew you’d always have Hyuck.

“Not even Mark makes staying worth it.” he spits. You can’t tell if he’s angry or sad; it’s probably both. “We were so stupid for coming here,” he finally chuckles, although you can tell it isn’t from happiness. “We were so fucking stupid.”

“I know,” you reply softly.

“I’m sorry. Call me later, okay?”

He hangs up before you can say anything. You slowly put your phone down and shove it back into your pocket. You want to cry, but you’ve already spent too much time in here. You rush out of the bathroom, and instantly run into someone.

“I’m sorry,” you say, looking up at the person. Your heart almost stops.

“No worries,” Jaemin says, flashing you a polite smile.

Your heart starts pounding. You try to tell yourself to stop staring at him, but this was the first time you’ve seen him since coming here. He doesn’t look too different — hair is darker now but everything is the same. The same eyes you fell in love with. The smile that gave you butterflies in your stomach. He’s dressed in normal clothes, so that meant he was probably eating here alongside you and Mark.

You want to lunge towards him, hugging him so tightly he could never leave you again. But you finally just nodded and forced your legs to walk past him; they had started trembling and you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand there. You were glad Mark’s back was to you. You sat back down at your seat, your hands now trembling

“Everything okay?” Mark asks.

You nod. You clear your throat. “Yeah… uh, sorry I took so long. My mom called while I was in there.”

“Oh, okay.” Mark takes a sip of his milkshake that had been set on the table while you were gone. “You’re not in trouble or anything, right?” he asks, eyes widening.

You smile. “No.”

“Okay, good! I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for hanging out with me or something…” Mark says.

You stir your milkshake with your straw. You weren’t feeling very hungry anymore, but after the first sip, it was too delicious to stop.

“(y/n)!” you hear a voice calling your name. You turn your head towards the direction it’s coming from.

Naeun walks to your table. “I didn’t even see you here! What’s up?” she smiles.

“Oh… nothing.” you reply, forcing a smile in return. “Me and Mark are just hanging out and we were hungry, so here we are.” you tell her.

“Of course. Partners in crime. Hi, Mark.” Naeun responds. “Jaemin brought me here. Can you believe I’ve never been here before? This place has been up for years and I’ve never had the chance.” she pouts.

“Really?” Mark speaks up. “You gotta try their milkshakes, they’re delicious.” he tells her.

Naeun chuckles. “Will do. What flavor did you get? It looks good.” she asks.

“Oh! Cookies ‘n cream. It’s my favorite.” he replies, smiling.

“That’s a good flavor.” You hear Jaemin before you see him. Why is he talking about ice cream? He can’t even eat dairy. You think.

“How would you know?” Naeun teases, as if she was a mind reader. “You can’t have ice cream.”

Jaemin enters your line of sight, wrapping an arm around Naeun’s shoulders. It feels like a gunshot to your chest. “Well, I’m not supposed to have it. But these milkshakes make all the pain worth it.” he jokes.

Mark laughs. “He’s right though. How’s it going, Jaemin? I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Jaemin grins. “I’m doing good. School has been way harder lately, but…”

“Yeah, I would assume so. I can’t believe you got into that school, no offense…”

Jaemin chuckles. “None taken. I was surprised I got in, too. I just wish they had accepted me earlier so I wouldn’t have had to leave halfway through a school year. But, I come back here and visit almost every weekend, so…”

Watching Mark and Jaemin talk felt weird. You didn’t even know they knew each other. That also answered your question as to why you never saw Jaemin at school. You wonder what school he had been accepted to.

“Oh, how rude of me. Hey, (y/n). How are you?” Jaemin turns his attention to you. “I was gonna talk to you earlier but you ran away from me.” he laughs. “I didn’t even realize it was you until you were gone.”

“Sorry…” you say softly. “Um… I didn’t realize it was you either.”

You can feel Jaemin’s eyes piercing into you. You didn’t want to look at him. You couldn’t.

“Well, I’d love to hang out with you guys, but after we eat I have to drive Jaemin back home… maybe we could all hang out another time? Double dates, maybe?” she says, grinning.

“Date?” Mark asks, furrowing his brows. “I mean… yeah, we can hangout but…” he laughs awkwardly.

“I’m teasing,” she says, glancing at you. “Both of you get so defensive!” she jokes. “Not trying to pressure you guys, but you’d be really cute together.” she presses.

“Okay, Naeun, enough,” Jaemin chuckles. “Mark’s gonna explode if you keep going.”

You look at Mark, whose face was red from embarrassment.

“We’ll see you guys later then,” Naeun says. The couple walk away from your table, Jaemin’s arm still around her. Your throat gets tight.

“Gosh…” Mark giggles. “Sorry. Stuff like that just gets me embarrassed,” he says, shaking his head.

You smile. “It’s okay.”

A waitress comes to the table a few moments later and sets the food you ordered on the table. Your appetite had come back. Seeing the food made you realize how hungry you really were.

Mark takes a bite of his burger. “I swear this place always hits the spot,” he says.

He was right. The food was really good. You were actually kind of mad this restaurant didn’t exist in your universe. It was perfect.

“Are you okay?” Mark asks. It’s so sudden, your first response is to just stare at him with wide eyes.

You swallow your food. “Yeah, why?”

Mark shrugs. “I just wanted to check in. You kinda froze up when Naeun and Jaemin were talking to us.” he says softly.

“Oh…” you set your burger down. “I was feeling kind of awkward because I ran into Jaemin when I left the bathroom. And then I ran away from him,” you laugh.

“Ah,” Mark nods. “I see.”

“Yeah… I’m kind of good at that. Making everything awkward.” you chuckle.

“Oh, shush.” Mark laughs. “Have you ever met me?”

You giggle. “Okay, well… if you’re the most awkward person on the planet, then I’m the close second.” you tell him.

“And that’s why we make such a good pair.” he replies.

Why did you feel so guilty every time you remembered how much you loved Jaemin?

You both finished your meals; Mark, of course, offered to pay for everything. Then you both left the restaurant. The sun was beginning to set.

“Ooh, wait,” you tell Mark, pulling your camera from your bag. He stops to look at you. “Let me take a picture of you here,” you say, pointing to one of the neon signs in the window.

Mark gets in front of it and poses, and you snap the photo. You both watch as it develops. “Perfect.” you show it to Mark.

You decide to head back to Mark’s house to hang out for a few more hours. As the sun set, the city was becoming less crowded. You passed children riding their bikes back home, people arriving home from work. Everything felt so normal, once again.

“Hey,” Mark says as you reach his room. “Check this out.” he grabs his guitar. “I finally learned how to play this song,”

“Hmm?” you lounge on his bed. “What song?”

He strums his guitar. You could already tell how good he had gotten at it; you only got the chance to hear him play twice before he died.

You recognize the song instantly — I’m Yours by Jason Mraz. It brings a smile to your face. Mark sings along softly. You realize his singing voice has gotten better as well.

You listen to him sing and shift to your side, propping yourself up with your elbow and resting your head on your hand. He’s completely immersed in the music. He looks so happy. You slowly retrieve your bag and take a photo of him.

He stops. “Oh… sorry. I kinda got preoccupied there,” he laughs.

“No, it’s okay…” you reply, feeling guilty for pulling him out of his music-induced-daze. “I was enjoying it.”

“Really?” Mark taps the strings of his guitar. “Well… I’ll finish the song then.” he continues strumming, taking a few moments to find where he left off.

You watch him, a soft smile on your face. This was a moment you definitely wanted to savor. If you were going to forget your time here, you at least wanted to remember this. It was beautiful. It was Mark.

[10:45 p.m.]

Mark offered to walk you home before it got too late — he had forgotten that it was a school night for him.

“Are you sure your mom won’t be mad?” Mark asks, nervously.

You laugh. “Once again, no. If she was worried about me we’d see flyers on the telephone poles,” you joke.

Mark chuckles. “Okay… I just don’t wanna get you in trouble for keeping you out so late. I lost track of time, to be honest…”

You nod. “Me too.” You had spent hours listening to Mark play his guitar and he tried to help you learn a song, but you weren’t as musically gifted as him, so it didn’t go very well. But Mark acted as if you were the God of Guitar, cheering when you played a few chords.

“Today was really fun.” he says softly. “If you ever wanna do this to… unwind… or whatever… just let me know.”

You smile. “Of course.”

Your heart drops as your house comes into view. It was your last few moments with Mark.

He walks you to your doorstep this time; he usually just walks to your driveway. It’s almost as if he knows. “Well,” Mark says, sighing. “We’re here.”

You grin, trying to mask your sadness. “Yeah… thanks for today. It was really fun!” you say.

Mark stares at you for a moment. “Um…” his eyes dart around, not sure where to look. “I…”

You watch him as he struggles to form a sentence. “Mark?” you ask softly.

He closes his mouth before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “I just had a lot of fun today.” he says.

You nod slowly. What did he really want to say? “Hurry and go home,” you tell him. “I don’t need you being all tired tomorrow.” your voice is barely above a whisper.

Mark stares at you for a few moments more. “You’re right,” he laughs, shaking his head. “I’m tired already… I’ll probably sleep like a baby when I get home.” Whatever tension was there had disappeared. In a spur-of-a-moment decision, you wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Text me when you get home, okay?” you tell him. Your head is against his chest; You can hear his heart beating.

“Of course,” he breathes. He finally wraps his arms around you. “Are… you okay?” he asks again.

You feel tears rushing to your eyes again. You chuckle. “I’m fine. I just… I love you.” you whisper. “You’re my best friend, okay? And… I need you to know that.”

He rubs your back. “I love you too,” he replies. “I’m so glad to know you.” he says.

You let him go. You knew you had to.

“Well… I’ll see you tomorrow.” Mark says.

You nod. “I’ll see you.”

You knew it was a lie, but only on your end. He’d see you. You wouldn’t be seeing him. But you knew what you were doing was right. Mark starts walking away, giving you one final smile before he was out of sight.

You push your front door open, going straight to your room and letting yourself cry. You let all of your emotions out. You wanted to run to Mark and hug him again and you never wanted to let go.

You finally pulled yourself together when you heard a faint knock on your door. You wipe your eyes and face quickly, although you knew your face would be puffy from crying. “Come in.”

Jisung peeks in. “Are you okay?”

You nod, although it’s unconvincing — his simple question makes you cry more. “I’m fine.”

“Why are you crying?” Jisung opens the door completely and enters, sitting next to you on your bed. “Did something happen?”

You shake your head. “No. I’m not sad,” you lie. “I’m just… feeling a lot of emotions right now.”

Jisung furrows his brows. “But… you seem sad.”

You take a deep breath. “I’m not, bud. I’m fine. Nothing happened between me and Mark, if that’s what you’re asking. I guess I’m just feeling… thankful. For Mark, and you, and all my friends.”

“Oh…” you can tell Jisung is still confused, but he shrugs it off. “Well… I guess as long as you aren’t sad, it’s okay.”

You feel him wrap and arm around you. You hug him back, feeling much more relieved now that you had cried a bit more.

“I’m going to bed now,” Jisung says, removing his arm from around your shoulders. “Are you sure you’re okay…?”

You nod. “I’m okay, really. Go to bed. Don’t stay up late because of me.” you tell him. He should’ve been in bed already… you realize.

Jisung nods. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you, Jisung.”

He seems taken aback by your words. You don’t blame him — no matter what, telling your sibling you love them still feels awkward.

“Love you too.”

He leaves your room. You pick up your bag from where you had placed it when you got to your room and retrieved your camera. You collect all the photos you had taken. The one of Jisung in the kitchen, him talking to Mark, Mark and his ice cream, everyone outside of the ice cream parlor, him outside of the restaurant, him playing his guitar, and finally, the photo Hyuck had taken of you. You shove them in your pocket, praying that they would return to the correct universe with you.

You lay down on your bed, completely exhausted. You just want to fall asleep, but you know you can’t. You pull out your phone, going to your messages and clicking on Hyuck’s name.

You

let me know when you’re ready.

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sinceileftyoublog · 3 years

Text

Shannon Lay Interview: A Still Spirit

Photo by Kai MacKnight

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“Have you always been who you are?” asks Shannon Lay on “Rare to Wake”, the opening track to her incredible new album Geist, out tomorrow via Sub Pop. She presents these type of earth-shattering questions with remarkable calm, though they entered her mind with anything but. The songs on Geist--the German word for “spirit”--came out of an intense period of self-reflection for Lay. In 2019, she released and toured on the terrific August, on which she observed the headspace of others, from Nick Drake’s mother Molly to a spider on a stack of records. After that, she began an inward process that, ironically, wouldn’t have been able to happen without the forced break of a global pandemic. Realizing that she perceived many aspects of her creative life past and present (which included working at a vintage clothing store, playing in the punk band Feels, and playing in Ty Segall’s Freedom Band) as brought upon by external forces, she took the opportunity to craft herself anew.

For many artists, songs that are born out of the desire to leave their comfort zone tend to be their most abrasive-sounding. Geist is instead Lay’s most beautiful and gentle record, played with a nylon-string acoustic guitar, her vocals and guitar recorded before she sent the tunes out to other musicians to add their own layers. That it was recorded this way yields a record that’s warm and oscillates gently on songs like “Sure” and “Time’s Arrow”. None of the songs even reach what sounds like a full-band choogle--the closest it comes is the end of “Rare to Wake” and “Untitled”, which has the only audible percussion on the record--but the record is rich in its assured calm. At the center of it all is Lay’s smoky voice, layered a capella on “Awaken and Allow” and traveling with her guitar on the album’s title track.

I spoke with Lay over the phone from her home in Pasadena, CA last month about Geist, her creative process, and cover songs. Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: What about Geist is unique as compared to anything else you’ve ever released?

Shannon Lay: With this one, the biggest difference was being more comfortable with what I felt called to offer. From the background of music I did and the scene I grew up in, when I started presenting my solo music, it always felt like it had to be edgy, tough, cool, or punk. There had to be something rough about it. With this one, I just embraced the fact that one of my specialties is creating really beautiful music. I’m so happy that I did, because the result really is this beautiful experience. I think it’s because I became so much clearer with the goal of it. I wasn’t so confused and wrapped up in the identities I had accumulated beforehand.

SILY: Did that goal influence your decision to release “Rare to Wake” before even announcing the album?

SL: Yeah, totally. We also knew [Geist] would be a very appropriate fall record, so we saw this long span of time between finishing and releasing it, so it felt appropriate to trickle out songs. It seems that’s how people are digesting music now anyways, in smaller increments. It felt nice to present the single and make a video for it that felt appropriate.

SILY: It’s jacket weather here, finally. We just turned the heat on. Listening to Geist earlier today, I could tell it will be a popular record throughout the season.

SL: Oh, I love that! Yay! I know, I had my first jacket day the other day here, too, and then it went back to 100 degrees. But I really enjoyed it. [laughs]

SILY: Is “Rare to Wake” inspired by Dune?

SL: Yeah. I had never seen David Lynch’s version. It blew my mind, the content and message behind it. It really got my wheels turning. [Protagonist] Paul in the movie really has to prove to himself that he is who he is, and I think we’re all on that journey, but the conclusion of it is we’ve always been who we are and everything we can be. We’re just on different steps of the journey to that. [laughs] The new [Dune] looks pretty good.

SILY: Are you gonna see it in theaters?

SL: Oh yeah. I love movies where that’s the way you have to see it, in a theater. This one for sure is gonna be like that.

SILY: On the track “Awaken and Allow”, when you sing, “I have to get out of California / The days go by like smoke in the wind,” is that a reference to the wildfires?

SL: Oh man, it wasn’t, but that is an appropriate interpretation. I like that. California basically represents my comfort zone in my life. I grew up here, I’ve always lived here, and I think that line was a poetic way of saying, “I need to step out of what makes me comfortable in order to grow.” If you don’t, time can slip away, and you can excuse the things you’re called to do because you’re fine where you’re at. It’s about challenging yourself, and California is just really safe and easy for me.

SILY: The title of the album is the German word for “spirit.” What led you to that word and in that language?

SL: I was actually looking through a 1930s music vocabulary book, all these cool words used to reference different moments in music or levels of playing and types of instruments and singing. That word came up in there. I loved the conciseness of it. It felt very appropriate. This record, I wanted it to be this very dense content delivered in a very gentle way. Disguising the word “spirit” in this kind of mystical sound-- “geist” is almost a sound--felt like a nice way to tie everything together. The whole time I was writing this, I was reflecting on the human spirit, how adaptable it is and how persevering it could be, [as I was] watching everyone go through hard times and triumphs. People finding themselves and taking the opportunity to get to know themselves and new ways of being. It was cool to hear people’s stories trickle in as I reconnected with folks. It’s a definite nod to how strong we are. I feel like “spirit” can have a religious context to some people. The problem with self-improvement in general is it can be off-putting with the way it’s worded, so “geist” felt like a poetic way of lightening the load of what I was handing you.

SILY: Was wanting to touch on adaptability and strength in the face of challenges directly inspired by anything going on in your life during the writing process?

SL: Before the pandemic even started, I was feeling a lot of cracks forming in my foundation. Who I was and who I thought I identified with was slipping away, and I couldn’t hold on to it anymore. I felt this need to drop it. It was like holding something really slippery. I dropped it all and was trying to rebuild as the pandemic hit. It was really an amazing opportunity to me to surrender and explore within myself a fresh start. It occurred to me that everything I thought I was, was built up from other people and their beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors. We’re these sponges in the world, and I had picked up a lot of stuff that wasn’t mine. I began this process of sorting through. The first thing I did was recognizing what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to work on. It was an intense process, and I don’t think I could have done it continuing to exist in the world as I was, pretending like I was okay. It allowed me to fall apart in this really amazing way that gave me a vantage point to all the broken pieces I could put back together in a much more stable, nurturing way.

SILY: Is this identity reclamation process part of your embracing your Irish roots in “Awaken and Allow”? It sounds like a traditional Irish folk song.

SL: I felt very connected to that, for sure. I think it’s a big part of who I am and where my family came from. I’m hopefully gonna go there next year. I’m so excited; I’ve never been. It’s good to keep falling down that rabbit hole. It felt like the first glimpse of the river that runs through everyone’s culture you can go to and take home. It was a cool experience having that song happen kind of organically. I felt very connected to ancestral energy.

SILY: "Awaken and Allow” and “Rare to Wake” share a quality with the album in general: It sounds like it’s precluding something else, in a good way. The first time I heard “Rare to Wake”, I expected it to go into a full band jam at the end, but it stops. The a capella in “Awaken and Allow”, and “Untitled”, which has the only audible percussion on the record, made me think that because you expect the songs to go somewhere else but they don’t, it almost serves to reemphasize the importance of the present moment.

SL: Oh, I love that so much. I absolutely had the intention of a lot of stillness surrounding this record. It kind of requires you to have a moment of calm. Music all serves such different purposes...with this one, when I was figuring out what I wanted to put out into the world, in this moment in time, it feels like we all need as many reminders as possible to just sit there and be. We’re brought up to do, which is cool, too, but something about sitting and breathing and feeling your life force, everyone should experience that at some point. For people who feel like the world is happening to them, that kind of victim mentality. If you just take a minute to appreciate the fact that you can hear your heartbeat if you listen long enough or take a deep breath into your lungs. I wanted to promote moments like that, and I love that you got that out of it. It’s perfect.

SILY: I think living in the present is something that a lot of people have learned to do, almost by necessity, during long periods of isolation.

SL: Yeah. It’s a tough time for sure. It’s easy to feel like it’s happening to you. It’s either an excuse or an opportunity, and to make it an excuse is all too appealing. My gosh, it’s so nice to have that to reach for, because then nothing’s your fault. It’s all happening to you! When you flip your perspective, it’s such divine timing, and you’re absolutely meant to be wherever you’re meant to be. Even if it’s a difficult spot, there’s knowledge in that moment you need to search for. It’s so important to remember. It all comes back to being present. [laughs]

SILY: On August, you covered Karen Dalton. On Geist, you cover Syd Barrett’s “Late Night”. When did you first hear “Late Night”, and why did you decide to include it? Do you think including a cover is going to become a tradition on all of your records?

SL: I love covers so much. I love taking artists that more people should know about and giving them a little shoutout. Karen Dalton, ever since August has come out--and I’m not saying it’s me who did this--but I’ve noticed buzz around her. This documentary [Karen Dalton: In My Own Time] is coming out. It’s cool that these people who were maybe not so appreciated in their moment can now leave this legacy. The ripple effect of music is so incredible. Syd Barrett was one of those people, too. That guy was a weirdo, man. The music he made kind of reminds me of Arthur Russell. The first time you hear it, you may not like it. You have to sit with it and be in the right mood. It’s so beautiful and so off-kilter and has this very child-like maturity about it. “Late Night” especially has this innocence, but so much wisdom. It’s a really wild combo, and I feel it every time I play or listen to that song. He had that magical mix of being 80 and 8 at the same time. [laughs] It’s so weird.

When I try a cover, I don’t like to push it too hard. If it doesn’t come out immediately, I just move on. With [“Late Night”], I tried it, and it felt so nice and natural. Working on the harmonies was fun, and it felt like it had a place within this record. There’s an embrace of change and a loving yourself vibe within this record but a lot of projecting love outward and loving people and appreciating the relationships that have come and gone in your life. That song sums that up so beautifully.

SILY: I agree with you about Arthur Russell. It’s not sounds you traditionally associate with being beautiful, but when you listen to them and take it for what it is, it very much is beautiful. I think I feel the same way about someone like Kate Bush.

SL: Yes! The true weridos. Just pure freaks in the best sense of the word.

SILY: I’m not trying to think of others like that. Daniel Johnston, too.

SL: Absolutely!

SILY: What’s the story behind the cover art for this record?

SL: I reconnected with an old friend during the pandemic, and we ended up falling madly in love. We knew each other in middle school and were actually each other’s first kiss in middle school. We drifted apart as we got older and came back together. He became this really crucial piece of the visual aspects of this record. He directed all three of the music videos I did for it and took both of the cover photos. He lives in the Lincoln Heights area of Los Angeles, and there’s all these amazing hills around there. You walk up these craggy little paths, and all of a sudden, you’re on top of the world. On his street, there was this house that used to be there but got torn down, and the wall behind me was the retaining wall very poorly keeping the dirt held up behind me. [laughs] I loved the idea of presenting the confidence I was feeling grow within me on this record. I wanted to include the instrument I used as well, since everything came out of that Nylon-string guitar.

We did these photos on film, so when we got them back, I thought, “This is it. This is how I feel in a really cool visual representation.” It was this very baller confident chick standing in front of this huge crack that I felt happen within myself. My whole self was shattered at the beginning of this journey, and it was this process of picking up the pieces. This image was so good, and on the back is this photo of me cracking up in the same position, which is the perfect juxtaposition. Another thing we have to remember in this life is to not take ourselves too seriously. It’s so important to have fun and be light about even the heaviest of things. It’s just a way to carry around less weight. It felt classic--I felt very inspired by classic country records, really straightforward, “Here’s the photo, some colors, and a great font.” [It's] so serious on the front, and you turn it over, and you’re like, “Oh yeah, this is all in good fun.”

SILY: It’s got some Gram Parsons energy.

SL: Yeah, totally. I can’t wait to get the vinyl. The yellow, we put this cool texture on it. It’s gonna look really beautiful.

SILY: Have you played these songs live?

SL: Yes, it’s been really fun. I’ve actually been practicing here with a stand-up bass player and a keyboard player who also sings. It’s been really, really fun to bring them to life. It requires this delicate touch that if it lines up just right, it’s powerful in its simplicity. I’m just obsessed! I’m playing a solo show tonight where I play most of the record because I can’t get enough of playing these songs. They feel so good and fit in so well with the electric stuff I do during the set.

SILY: Do you have any other covers you’re doing on this tour?

SL: I’m doing a good amount of solo shows, and I really like including Sibylle Baier covers. She was a really big influence on this record, and I was going to include one of her covers, but I don’t want to just cover the song and play the song. I want to put my own spin on it, but her songs are perfect as is. I’ll definitely do “Late Night”. I’m always down for covers. I always have a couple Arthur Russell covers in my pocket. Those are the best.

SILY: When I saw you at Lincoln Hall, you and your band did an a capella version of “Everybody Everybody”.

SL: Yes! That is to this day one of my proudest accomplishments. [laughs]

SILY: Are you the type of songwriter who is always writing songs? Are you working on anything?

SL: I’m not! I feel very called to rest at the moment. I’m trying to reenter things so I can honor the fact that I’m not built to tour all year and only say yes to the things that feel really genuinely good. I’m really excited to see what comes next, because part of what’s hard about being creative is learning to honor and trust your process. One ingredient that gets introduced that could be avoided a lot of the time is worry. I’m trying to notice the pattern of my creativity and in the moments I don’t feel called to write, know that one day I’m gonna wake up and it’s gonna feel so good to go in there and go nuts and lose track of time and forget to eat and get lost in the flow. I think Neil Young said it: “If it’s not comin’, just mow the lawn.” I moved into a house by myself in February and have just been nesting, so that’s been really nice.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that you’ve enjoyed?

SL: I just finished [Dr. Nicole LePera’s] How to Do the Work, which is a great book that came out recently if you feel called to work on yourself and work on your behavioral patterns. It’s a really helpful book of stories and experiences from this one doctor. She has this Instagram called The Holistic Psychologist. She’s great. I just started [Steven Pressfield’s] The War of Art, which talks a lot about how you can get in the way of your creativity. It’s a very triggering book, so I’m gonna keep reading it. [laughs] It talks a lot about resistance and the way that we self-sabotage. I see so much of the things I wouldn’t really think of as self-sabotage in there. I just rewatched The Matrix trilogy after I saw the new one was coming out, which was fantastic. I’m always down for some Keanu. I’ve been listening to a lot of 90′s dance, or Steven Halpern meditation music. I’m either sleeping or dancing.

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